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#was gonna tag this as crack taken seriously but is it even really crack?
johnslittlespoon · 1 month
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I know it’s more cat vibes but do you think Buck ever uses a spray bottle on Bucky when he misbehaves?
I JUST LAUGHED SO LOUD WHEN THIS ONE CAME IN i slapped my hand over my mouth so fast PLEASEEE ???!!!!
i actually love this so much i'm so sorry i can't stop giggling.
imagine: post–war buckbucky, living together in a cute little apartment or rancher with a couple cats (they don't need a dog, they've got john, that's more than enough lol). naturally this means they've got spray bottles scattered around the house to protect the kitchen counters and the arms of couches from kitty claws.
thinking about john being very food motivated and always trying to waltz into the kitchen while gale is cooking to steal food behind his back, and gale doesn't really mind, but sometimes john eats just plain ingredients that he's not done with and then he has to chop up more and it's just a tiny bit frustrating (he can't ever actually stay mad though.)
one evening after an incident like this, john, unaware of the extra work he's created for gale and the patience he's drained, comes back in twenty minutes later for a second sweep through, and the moment his hand settles on a sliced tomato, he's spritzed in the face with a sudden blast of cold water.
the look of absolute betrayal and shock he gives gale as he blinks at him with water dripping from his curls, eyelashes clumped together, hand frozen on the tomato slice. gale's got the spray bottle aimed at him like it's a weapon and john can't help the laugh he barks out as he goes to pick up the tomato slice again in defiance, not expecting the second spray that gets him right in the open mouth this time.
sputters out a "hello?" and gale just twitches the bottle at him in a wordless 'and i'll do it again' and john reluctantly retracts his hand with a grumble, stealing the towel draped over gale's shoulder to dry his face, muttering "like i'm one of the damn cats" on his way out. only when he's gone does gale let out a snort, leaning against the counter as he laughs with the image of drowned–rat, kicked–puppy john replaying in his mind.
(bonus: one day they've got friends over in the dining room and john follows gale back into the kitchen under the guise of 'helping', but he's all touchy when he comes up behind him, pressing his hips a little too hard against gale's, and gale unthinkingly reaches for the spray bottle and gives him enough of a spritz to offend him out of his inopportune horniness lmfao.)
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bby-deerling · 22 days
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Love your Hcs ❤️ they're so creative 🥰😋🎉
would you do one for me "caught in the act" - with Zoro, Kid and Law making love to you when suddenly someone of their crew enters (they don't know about your relationship) 🙏pleeasssee
getting caught with you (nsfw)
masterlist || commissions
cw: secret relationships (being exposed), zoro's part turns into a circus, zoro is an idiot (<3), lowkey crack taken seriously, kid is a menace, brat taming (w/kid), rough sex (w/kid), exhibitionism kinda (w/kid)
tagging: @willowbelle @eelnoise @fanaticsnail @indydonuts @zorolux
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zoro
so caught up in the delirium of each other's touch, neither you nor zoro notice sanji entering the supply closet until he lets out a gasp and promptly faints from blood loss upon catching a glimpse of your naked form. both of you scrambling as the loud thud of the cook collapsing to the floor prompts the signature clack of nami's heels to approach the pantry, zoro hastily throws a nearby tarp over both of your bodies right as the navigator swings open the door.
"ew, gross!" she squeals, her scream echoing loudly and luring in the rest of your friends who were milling around nearby on the deck. while chopper barely even registers what's going on with you and zoro, more focused on attending to sanji's well-being, usopp, brook, and luffy are all laughing hysterically, though luffy is more so laughing along because everyone else is. that much is clear when he loudly asks why you both are naked, wondering if you'd both ripped your clothes or something similar.
"they were having sex, luffy!" usopp hisses, and luffy's eyes widen before he grins. "oh! you two must really like each other then, huh?" he exclaims with a smile as chopper helps sanji to his feet. zoro's patience was already wearing thin, but when the cook shoots a biting remark about the swordsman not deserving you his way, he's up in an instant and ready to clash with him, completely forgetting that he was naked. when the rest of your crewmates shriek in shock, he mindlessly and instinctively grabs the tarp that was covering both of you, accidentally exposing you.
"zoro, what the hell!" you squeak out, as robin creates a barrier of hands around your body to shield your privacy, using some of them to return some of your clothes to you so that you can get dressed.
"sorry..." he mumbles as he grabs his sweatpants and pulls them up quickly, before snapping at the rest of the crew to quit staring.
"blech. are you two together? because i made a bet that..." nami starts, and both of you cut her off with a simultaneous yes; usopp sighs as he hands the navigator a handful of cash, and the crew begins to disperse, including you and zoro, who are now far too embarrassed to finish what you had started.
kid
"you gonna keep staring, killer? you can stay and watch if ya' want." kid taunts when killer opens the door to his bedroom and finds you splayed out underneath him; though your relationship was a secret from the rest of the crew, it's a sight killer was accustomed to walking in on, and he simply sighs and rolls his eyes from underneath his mask. kid doesn't stop the movements of his hips for a moment, causing you to smack him on the forehead and tell him to cut it out until killer leaves the room.
"dinner is served. was wondering if you two planned on coming to eat any time soon." killer says, almost bored and completely unfazed.
"kinda busy here." kid replies, tilting his head towards you as you cover up your breasts with your arms, annoyed.
"i'll save a couple plates then." killer says, letting out a small, irritated sigh as he leaves the room, thankful that his mask hides the secret blush on his face.
"you're a real asshole, you know that? you can't even bother to cover me up?" you hiss at him once the door shuts, but your angry ramblings are broken up by gasps as he slams his thick cock deep inside of you.
"y'know i just love fucking the attitude out of you, pipsqueak. i know you love it too." he replies with a smirk; you let out a huff as you bite back a moan, knowing full well that he's right.
law
as the soft hum of music and a mixture of moans fills law's office, the two of you are too wrapped up with entwining tongues with each other and the way he lazily thrusts into your sloppy pussy to notice the creak of the door as it opens.
"oops, sorry captain!" shachi exclaims, doubling over laughing as both of you nearly jump out of your skin from the sound of his voice. for a split second, law considers simply teleporting both of you to his bedroom to continue unraveling you, but he knows that refusing to talk about this with shachi would cause misinformation to spread around the submarine like wildfire; so, he thanks every star hanging above his head that the two of you were already underneath a throw blanket and puts all of his weight on top of you to shield your body further.
"what do i have to do to get you to keep this a secret?" law asks with a deep sigh, neck straining as he looks up at his snickering friend.
shachi taps his finger on his chin a few times as he hums, trying to make sure he comes up with the most advantageous answer possible for himself. "no night shift or cleaning the floors for a month." he says with a smirk; law relents, giving him a nod before telling him to get out of here, which shachi responds to with an enthusiastic "yes, captain!"
though before he can slip out of the office, the door swings open once more; this time it's bepo, who lets out a loud gasp, his eyes widening until he suddenly turns on his feet and starts screaming down the hallway to anyone who would listen that the two of you were finally together.
"dammit bepo, you ruined my deal!" shachi yells as he follows his polar bear friend, causing law to sigh and teleport a heavy chair against the door, preventing anyone else from walking in and interrupting his attempts to shower you with affection from the inside out.
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cocteaucherry · 12 days
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her way
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summary- you were once on top of the world, unfortunately that was taken away from you, but all of a sudden two men, the best at their sports ask for help.
tags- 18+, mentions of bruises, anxiety, broken bones, anxiety attack, ooc probably for some characters, maybe some smut (or threesome) in further chapters. figure skating (can you tell I used challengers for inspo?) gojo x reader, geto x reader, female reader
a/n- (making my monthly comeback, also thank you for 200 followers every like and follow means the universe to me! debating on a chp 1
you once were on top of the world
Doing the thing you loved every day every second, the costumes, the flair, the elegance.
Your long time senior coach, Yuki, made sure to always support you, even.. if she usually made it to rehearsal thirty minutes late.
“Yeah yeah that was great! But make sure you’re more solid off your double jump!” Yuki smirked leaning against the short wall of the skating rink.
“Weren’t you on your phone half the time?” You raised an eyebrow panting loudly as Yuki gave you a coy laugh.
“See? Stop paying attention to me and you’ll land your jumps.”
Oh how cynical it would be for you in the future.
You had officially made it to the Grand Prix finals, the world's eyes battering down your whole back, at least that’s how it felt to you.
You sat stretching your legs, the world around you invisible until you went on in approximately nine minutes and ten seconds. Your nerves were particularly bad today but you couldn’t focus on that right now.
You were so out of it you didn’t even notice the figure approaching you, all you saw were long legs in dark sweatpants.
You peered through your eyelashes to see the figure standing in front of you, snowy hair and sunglasses inside? Sheesh, how arrogant could this guy be?
“Y/N, right?” A grin appeared on his smug face as his hands slid into his pockets, “yeah? Is there something I can do for you?” You grunted standing up your eyes physically widening as you saw how tall he really was, getting a good look at his face and you began to recognize the man.
“Wait.. you look familiar..?”
His face drained of color as he cleared his throat, “Satoru Gojo, two time gold winner?” He pointed towards his face, “Figure skating Mozart on the ice rink?- wait you seriously don’t know who I am?!”
“I was kidding, MAYBE I’ve heard of you,” you chuckled and he let out a huff of frustration, “You’re good friends with.. what’s his name? Suguru Geto correct? I’ve heard he’s the Prince of Ice, huh?”
“That’s correct, he’s also fairly talented.” Satoru hummed in an almost annoyed tone? You pushed it off not thinking much of it.
“Must be hard huh? I mean being best friends in this line of business and somehow you always come out on top?” You questioned staring closely through Satoru’s glasses, you could almost clearly see the bright blue of his eyes peeking through the expensive lenses.
“Ahhh,” he grinned, adjusting his shades, “Suguru and I don’t lose our minds over a little friendly competition.”
“The Grand Prix is a friendly competition for you?” You scoffed crossing your arms and he nodded bashfully, “when you have no one to compete against it’s not really a competition.”
“Right, well I’m gonna get going soon.”
You desperately wanted to cut the conversation short but talking to him seemed to ease your nerves tremendously, “Thanks for talking with me though!” you smiled brightly getting set to walk towards the rink.
Satoru wanted to talk more but his words were caught in his throat, “I’ll cheer you o-on!” His voice fucking cracked and he wanted to slam his head against the wall.
Yuki stood nervously and annoyed at your apparent “lateness”
“Y/N! What the hell? You were supposed to be here a few minutes ago?” Her face was red with anxiety it seemed.
“I'm still here on time! Don’t worry Yuki,” you groaned and a smile appeared on her face, “I know I know, you should’ve been here though I was just talking to a certain someone you should be interested in,”
“Really? Who?” You said enthusiastically but before Yuki could start your name was called over the intercoms to get on the ice, you slid your windbreaker off revealing your light purple bedazzled costume. “I’ll tell you after, get out there and don’t fuck up!” Yuki pulled you into a quick hug before lightly pushing you into the direction you needed to go.
“Awhh, cmon Yuki!” You groaned walking your way carefully onto the ice, your mind repeating your step and jump sequences in your head.
Your legs jittered but you took deep breaths skating to your starting position.
Your routine started and you were doing great, landing your jumps, your spins were fluid and solid and then the second half was ending. Your routine was coming to a close and all you had to do was nail a double jump pretty simple right?
Then how come whenever you were in the starting position something felt off..
you were in the middle of the air getting ready to land before your ankle had twisted in the wrong direction causing you to eat absolute shit on the ice.
A loud CRACK! Resounded itself along with the searing hot pain your ankle felt as you tumbled on the ice, Oh God let this be a bad dream please God..
Hot tears poured down your face as you heard the quick loud flashes of cameras and the loud whispers of the crowd, your heartbeat sped faster and faster and you swore you were going to blackout, which is what you did.
You woke up from the blaring fluorescent lights and the steady beeps of the machines around you, your mother and father sat next to you with bated breath as your mother immediately jumped to hug you crying into your shoulder.
You groggily searched the room for Yuki only to find her in the hallway talking to the doctor, this wasn’t gonna end well.
You peered down at the large cast encasing your ankle and the bruises that crowded your leg, you wanted to cry but no tears came out.
Hours later you finally decided to turn on the TV, wanting to avoid seeing you eat shit on 4K you were instead met with a different kind of news.
Males singles winners,
Bronze- Yui Haibara
Silver- Satoru Gojo
Gold- Suguru Geto
Satoru had lost? You wondered how he felt right now, sure a small smile was on his face but he was adamant on winning.
Just like clockwork Yuki had come in holding two vases of flowers, “How you holding up?” She asked walking to the counter placing the vases down,
“‘As well as you think, everyone’s kind though.” You’ve gotten multiple concerned texts from figure skaters and fans and while you greatly appreciated it your face burned in embarrassment. How could you have messed up horribly?
“Of course they are, Goddess of the Ice,” Yuki hummed, checking the cards attached to the vases, “Well look at that, flowers from both Gojo and Geto.”
“Really? I feel honored.” You smiled but it quickly faded, “Tell me how bad it is Yuki.”
Yuki sighed leaning on the counter, “Well, your ankle is pretty fucked up.. might be time for you to look at possibly retiring.”
Your coach’s words circled in your head as you took a plane trip back to your hometown, your mother and father agreed to look after you in the meantime as you sought out your decision.
The past few days you had been in limbo, just living but no substance you even spaced out mid conversation with your best friend Utahime.
She offered you a place in her family’s shop where you could spend your hours conversing instead of just sitting around the house.
“Okay! Would you rather take care of ten newborn babies or fight a judo boxer?” Utahime asked, flipping through the channels of the front counter TV.
“We’ve played this for twenty minutes!” You groaned, placing your head in your hands, “the ten babies sound great though.”
Utahime had childishly given you a coloring book but you didn’t complain, you continued to scribble, enjoying the blissful silence with the occasional talk of the TV.
The bell of the front door opening broke you out of your silence, but before you could look up the voice seemed to give it away.
“Y/N! Long time no see!”
Your eyes were brought up to see the familiar sight you were “graced” with 5 weeks ago.
“Think we could talk for a minute?”
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wannab-urs · 5 months
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Title: Scotty Doesn't Know
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader
Summary: Scotty doesn't know you're hooking up with Dieter
Tags: songfic, smut, infidelity, dieter is a loser, scotty doesn't really deserve this he's just annoying, crack taken seriously, porn with the barest of plots, barely edited. WC: 2.8k
A/N: the song came on and I thought it would make a funny dieter fic? I'm shadowbanned and marked explicit rn, so lemme earn it with this gratuitous smut fic.
Dieter Bravo Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi
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Scotty doesn't know that [Reader] and me
Do it in my van every Sunday
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know
The parkin' lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top
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Dieter: Here 8=D
You slip out of the church, the preacher just getting started, and head to the back of the parking lot. Dieter’s beat up old VW bus, affectionately called “The Van,” is nestled between two big pickup trucks. Even if Scotty drives by the church, there’s no way he’ll see that Dee is here. 
You pull open the side door, cringing at the loud rattle. Dieter is completely naked, laid out in a suggestive pose and smirking at you. 
“You’re a fucking idiot, Dieter.”
“But I’m cute. Get in here!” 
You clamber into the van and roll the door shut behind you before sitting on the old beat up mattress beside Dee. He plucks at the thin straps of your sundress. 
“I like this, baby. It’s pretty. Take it off.” 
You roll your eyes at him but strip your dress off anyway. You ditch your panties while you’re at it and kick both your sandals into the very back of the van, before sitting back down on your knees beside Dieter. He pulls you in for a sloppy kiss with way too much tongue, and you shriek and slap his chest. 
“Quiet! You wouldn’t want Scotty to find out…” he waggles his eyebrows at you. 
You push him so that he falls flat on his back and straddle him. He slips his hand between your legs, dragging his thick fingers through your slick and then pushing one inside to the knuckle. The chunky ring on his middle finger digs into your labia. 
“Ow Dieter, your fu- fucking ring is stabbing me.” 
“I’m not taking it off.” Dieter pumps his finger into you just to emphasize his point and you whimper. 
“I actually can’t stand you. It’s gonna bruise,” you whine.
“Not like Scotty goes down on you enough to ever see it.” 
You roll your eyes at him, but he has a point. You’re the only one who will know, and you’re not necessarily opposed to having Dieter’s mark on you as long as Scotty won’t find out. Instead of answering him, you lean forward and kiss him. Dieter adds his middle finger, curling his fingertips against your walls and fuck it feels good. 
You suck Dieter’s bottom lip into your mouth and pull back, nipping his lip before you separate from him completely. “Lemme ride you.” 
“Fuck yeah!” Dieter pulls his fingers out of you and slips them into his mouth as you line up with his cock. You sink down on him slowly, pressing your hands into his chest. Dieter’s head drops back onto the mattress when you bottom out. “It’s so cool when you’re on top,” he breathes, palming both of your tits. 
“It’s so cool when you shut up,” you retort, but some of the bite is lost in how breathless you sound. You lift up on your knees, letting him slide almost completely out of you before you drop back down. Dieter grabs your hips and forces you to roll them forward, dragging your clit along the coarse hair at his base. You let your head fall back between your shoulder blades. Let Dieter drag you back and forth on his cock until you can’t hold in your whimpers anymore. He’s so deep inside you, grinding into your g-spot, it’s not long before you feel your cunt flutter around him, feel yourself soak him with your slick. 
“That’s right baby, come on my cock,” he smirks at you. 
“You know, you don’t have to speak,” you say, pulling yourself off him. 
“Wait! I didn’t get to come yet,” Dieter pouts at you. And god help you, it’s too adorable to resist. His plush bottom lip sticking out and his big brown eyes welling with undoubtedly fake tears. 
You get situated between his thighs and take his dick in your hand. He looks extremely relieved, as if not coming would have been the end of the world. You lick a stripe from his balls to his tip, eyes never leaving his, and he whimpers, still pouting a little. You roll your eyes at him and suck him down to the root. He tries to buck into your mouth, but you pin his hips down and set your own pace. 
You cup his balls in your hand, rolling them gently as you suck him off. He rests his hands on the back of your head, not pushing or pulling you, just wanting to touch you. 
You really need to get back inside before the preacher wraps up his sermon, so you slip one finger behind his sack and press it into his perineum. Even indirect stimulation to his little bundle of nerves drives him insane, and his grip on the back of your head tightens as he comes down your throat with a strangled cry. 
“Fuck! Fucking fuck fuck fuck.” 
You pull off him with a pop, swiping your thumb across your bottom lip to make sure nothing spilled out. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” Dieter sighs. 
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[Reader] says she's out shopping
But she's under me
And I'm not stopping
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“I’m at the mall. I’ll see you later, okay?” 
“Sure thing, babe. Love you!” Scotty hangs up before you even have to answer him. You shove your phone in your pocket and knock on Dieter’s apartment door. 
You hear a weird amount of shuffling and banging around before the door opens. Dieter’s hair is a complete wreck, his ratty green robe is hanging open to reveal nothing underneath, and eyes are still bleary with sleep. 
“It’s 3 in the afternoon. Did you just wake up?” 
“Yes. Now get in here,” Dieter grabs your hand and pulls you into his apartment. He slams the door shut and continues dragging you by the wrist until you’re in his room. His bed, or rather his mattress on the floor, is unmade… but at least it has sheets on it. 
Dieter doesn’t waste time stripping your clothes off of you, tossing his own robe into the pile on the floor. “So where are you today?” He asks as he kisses your neck, walking back toward the bed. 
“The mall,” you tell him as you sink down (way down) onto the bed and pull him on top of you. 
“Won’t you need shopping bags for that lie?” Dieter asks, dragging his aquiline nose down your throat, between the valley of your breasts, and kissing your belly. 
“He won’t notice,” you sigh, putting your hands in his messy hair and pushing his head down between your legs. You’re already wet, just from seeing him naked at the door, as much as you hate to admit it. 
You’re really not sure what it is about this loser that turns you on so much. It’s probably his massive dick and pretty face – two things Scotty is not in possession of. 
Dieter licks a stripe through your folds and moans at the taste. You love how much he loves to eat you out. Dieter pulls your legs over his shoulders and buries his face between your legs, stuffing his tongue in your cunt and grinding his nose into your clit. You tug on his hair and he whines into your skin. 
He pulls back and nips your thigh. “Dieter! Don’t–” He plunges two fingers into your cunt, cutting off the reprimand. His ring nestles right up to the bruise he left the other day and it hurts, but you like it. 
“Don’t make a mark,” Dieter mocks. “I know, baby.” He places his lips over your clit and sucks on it in time to the thrust of his fingers. You fucking love his mouth, tell him as much with a long groan of his name. He curls his fingers into your walls, nibbles lightly on your clit. You arch your back and pull his face into you by his hair as you come, cunt clamping down on his fingers. He works you through it, gently massaging your g-spot until your body relaxes. 
“Fuck, Dieter.” 
“That’s the idea, babe.” Dieter pushes your legs off his shoulders and climbs on top of you. He rests his weight on one arm by your head and hitches your thigh over his hip with the other. His hard cock runs through your soaking pussy a few times before his head catches on your entrance and he slides in to the hilt. 
His head drops to your shoulder and he shudders out a breath. “Always feel so good, baby.” 
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding him tight to you as he starts rolling his hips. One of your hands slides up into that tousled mess of hair on his head and the other clings tightly to his shoulder. 
You tilt your head back, giving him space to kiss your neck as he ruts into you. Filthy, drawn out moans spill from your lips every time he bottoms out. His only sounds are little grunts of exertion, muffled by your skin. 
He drops your thigh and sits up on his knees, pulling you into his lap. He wraps his hands around the underside of your thighs and pushes your knees up toward your chest. “Gonna fuck you for real now, baby. Gonna make you scream my name.” 
You’d roll your eyes at him, but you know he’s right. He pushes back inside you, giving you a second to adjust to the new angle, and then he starts slamming his hips down into you. He’s hitting something so deep, you know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow. 
Maybe that’s his goal. 
You dig your nails into his shoulders, dragging them down his back as he absolutely rails you. (He doesn’t have a girlfriend to hide the marks from). “Oh GOD, Dieter. FUCK.” You curse as he bottoms out again and again. 
His curls are sweaty with exertion and hanging over his forehead, bouncing with every thrust of his hips. You focus your eyes there as you feel your entire body tense up. He drops one of your legs and leans forward, crashing his mouth into yours just as you come on his cock. The tight squeeze of your cunt around him sends him over the edge and you feel his hips stutter as he comes inside you with a groan. 
He collapses onto the bed beside you and drags you into his arms, not even bothering to clean you up. You curl up on his sweaty chest and he nuzzles his face into your hair. 
“So what time do you have to be done ‘shopping?’” 
“Too soon.” 
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I can't believe he's so trusting
While I'm right behind you thrusting
[Reader]'s got him on the phone
And she's trying not to moan
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing, nothing
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Your phone rings not even a full minute after Dieter makes you come all over his face. You flail your arm out to the side until your hand hits the bedside table, fumbling around for the device.
It’s Scotty.
“Hey baby!” you answer in a probably-too-chipper tone. 
“Hi, babe. What are you up to?” Scotty asks. Dieter signals for you to put the phone on speaker, which you don’t do. 
“Oh just reading. How was your day?” Dieter grabs your hips and flips you over on the bed, so that you’re lying on your stomach. You suppress the yelp that almost falls from your lips. 
“Put it on speaker,” Dieter growls in your ear. “Or I’ll make this even harder for you.” You feel yourself get even wetter despite your annoyance. 
You put the phone on speaker and listen to Scotty continue to ramble on about his day. Dieter pulls your hips backwards until you’re on your knees. He drags his fingers through your very wet core and strokes his dick a couple times. 
“Oh, I’m sorry Scotty that su-ucks,” you stutter as Dieter sheathes himself inside you. 
“You good babe?” Scotty’s tinny voice filters out of your flip phone. 
“Yeah! Just choked on my own spit…” 
Dieter snorts and you shoot a glare over your shoulder at him. He smirks at you, drawing his hips back and sliding back in slowly. He’s not dumb enough to cause your skin to slap together, but he is a fucking idiot for doing this in the first place. 
Scotty keeps rambling on about some asshole customer at the Dairy Queen he works at, and you bite back a moan as Dieter grinds his hips against your ass, pressing his cock in deep. 
He grabs your hair in his fist and pulls so that your head is tipped back and starts fucking into you at a steady pace, stopping just short of bottoming out so that the only noise is the wet drag of him through your core. 
“What’s that weird sound in the background?” 
“Huh?” Your body tenses with anxiety, but it just causes you to tighten around Dieter and fuck if it doesn’t feel good. 
“There’s like, a weird noise I don’t know.” 
“Probably just my cat, babe.” Dieter snorts again, but you can’t really do anything about it in your current position. You decide to stop worrying so much and enjoy yourself. 
You drop down to your elbows and push your ass higher in the air. The change in angle has his cock brushing your g-spot on every thrust and you bite your pillow to muffle any noises you don’t manage to hold back. 
Dieter fucks you as hard as he can without making too much noise – he doesn’t really want you to get caught, after all. Half the fun is cucking Scotty. 
“Okay babe, I gotta get back to work. See you later?” Scotty drones.
“Later!” You manage to choke out before scrambling to flip your phone shut. The second it’s closed, you toss it on the floor and let out a loud moan. Dieter finally starts fucking you like he wanted to in the first place, and the loud slapping of his hips against your ass fills the room. 
You come with a scream, burying your face in your pillow and thrusting your hips back to meet Dieter’s. He fucks you through it and doesn’t stop. He keeps thrusting deep inside you, hitting something that has you screaming into your pillow. He doesn’t stop fucking you until you come again, and only then does he follow you over the edge. 
He pulls out and spreads your ass cheeks, watching his cum drip from your hole, then he drapes himself over your body and whispers in your ear. “Was that your first three way?” 
You’re so fucked out you can’t be mad at him, which was probably his goal. You giggle deliriously. “Mmhmm.” You drop all the way down to the bed, sprawling out. Dieter wiggles in close to you and wraps his arms around you. 
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His front lawn in the snow
Life is so hard 'cause Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know
I did her on his birthday
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It’s Scotty’s birthday. So really, you should be by his side. Instead, he’s inside getting wasted with his friends, and you’re in his side yard… getting railed by Dieter. 
Dieter has you against the house, your long skirt pinned above your hips, and one leg hitched around his waist. His lips are attached to your neck and you should really tell him to stop before he leaves a mark, but you don’t want him to. 
He snaps his hips into you rapidly and you brace yourself on his shoulders and rock your hips to meet his thrusts, panting into the frozen air. 
“It’s cold as fuck, Dieter, hurry.” 
“You fucking hurry.” He slips his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit. 
“Oh fuck, just like that,” you whine. You’re so fucking close to coming – just a couple more minutes like this and you’d be clenching on his cock. But life doesn’t always work out that way. 
The sound of the back door slamming causes both of you to jump and your foot slips out from under you. Both of you go crashing to the icy ground, Dieter landing on top of you. 
“What the fuck is going on out here?” Scotty asks, clearly pissed. 
“Oh SHIT!” Dieter starts to try to come up with some bullshit excuse, but you just scramble to your feet and take off running to the front yard. Dieter follows close behind you, dragging his pants up as he runs. 
You throw the side door of his van open and jump in as Dieter hops in the front seat. Scotty makes it to the curb right as Dieter peels away. You slam the door shut and fall back on the mattress. Dieter glances back over his shoulder, a big goofy grin on his face. 
“So I guess Scotty knows.” 
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I hope you enjoyed this truly ridiculous fic <3
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decayedgloria · 6 months
Text
obey me characters and their visions
Or what I think are their visions idk it’s 3 am and I just found out I failed my pathology exam so here’s a crossover of two games that provides me an escape from this putrid reality 😁
also just trying to get rid of drafts rn
Tags: sfw, pure crack speculation, I’m going insane, obey me demon brothers and undateables and luke, genshin impact visions, everything here is MY OPINION and should not be taken seriously, feel free to disagree with me
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Lucifer
-He strikes me as the type to either have a hydro vision or a geo vision
-more leaning towards hydro
-hydro vision holders tend to be dedicated to their work and uphold their own view of justice, more often than not being protectors of some sort i.e Candace and Aaru village, Ayato with the Kamisato Clan
-I draw parallels between him and Ayato because they both have gone through hell and back for their families (often literally) and have had to salvage tarnished reputations in order to protect said family
-also very rich and elegant men who have a “dark side” that most aren’t aware of
-It’s also just every hydro character being really sophisticated and elegant tbh he fits the vibe I think (minus Childe but he has his moments)
-Geo because, well… look at him. He’s prime geo vision material. Like a rock solid wall holding up the HOL but like he’s also hanging by a thread lol.
Mammon
-Geo Vision, Hear me out on this.
-Not only does it suit his color palette, but if you think about it, Mammon places a lot of responsibility on himself to be a good older brother to his siblings (despite falling short most times), we see this especially during Nightbringer
-Geo’s thing is literally responsibility. Every geo user has some sort of responsibility that they themselves have chosen to undertake, whether or not they can handle it
-They’re all also quite stubborn. Once they’re dead set on something they will never let it go, and on top of that they also protect either someone or something
-Every geo user has a goal relating to something to do with material or status: Ningguang and the Tianqiu, Noelle wanting to be in the KOF, Zhongli wanting to retire (lmfao). Mammon wanting to be rich (and wanting him and his brothers to be at the top of the Devildom in Nightbringer) literally fits.
-Mammon, despite being a goofy character, fits into geo so perfectly it’s actually insane.
-Mammon and Itto are the same person. I’m not elaborating.
Levi
-Electro vision all the way.
-It’s no surprise. Canonically he’s seen as a weirdo, even by his brothers (not me tho I love my men a little pathetic) and he doesn’t spend much time mingling with others, so of course he’s gonna be singled out
-almost every single electro vision holder is outcasted by at least one society; Beidou being cast out of her village, Fischl being thought of as eccentric because of her personality, the literal electro archon becoming a shut-in
-He would absolutely get the vision probably in like the early part of Nightbringer when we got stuck in the TSL universe and he had to make a decision
-(if you’re wondering why I keep bringing up Nightbringer it’s bc it’s the one I’m currently playing ok)
-Levi also passes the “I have a scary animal that helps me fight” thing. Henry’s quite formidable when he’s back to normal size :)
Satan
-Hm, thinking about it and at first I’d say dendro is the obvious answer but there’s also quite a few other contenders actually.
-Pyro is one of them, and when drawing parallels Diluc comes to mind (obvs grumpy men stick together always.) As the avatar of wrath, he’s like mad 80% of the time and I can imagine him raining hellfire upon everything (and he has, best believe).
-But also he’d fit the “passionate” description, he’s so passionate about books and magic that he’d literally kill for a book that he wanted (and did I’m pretty sure). He’d also be considered passionate for hating Lucifer so much I think
-he also has quite the past to fit with a pyro user, especially during Nightbringer when he’s still coming into terms about being basically a baby demon and learning to confront his brothers and finally accept them
-Dendro is quite obvious for him. He craves knowledge from books, and I’m sure if he were in Teyvat he’d find his way in the Akademiya just to get into the House of Daena’s restricted section
-I think either or could be his vision, depends on which Satan you’re talking about (Nightbringer Satan and main timeline Satan are two vastly different individuals)
-if you really wanna get into it tho, cryo/electro's pretty... fitting. Especially for nightbringer Satan. Even if his brothers try not to make him feel like it, he will always be different from them; the fact that he basically was made to replace Lillith in a sense, and he distances himself away from them because he just doesn't fit in.
-all in all he's so versatile realistically he could have like 4/7 visions since his character is so dynamic between the two games
Asmodeus
-Now this was harder to come up with, but after giving it some thought I think he’d have an Anemo vision
-think of it this way. In Nightbringer take a shot everytime I bring that game up his whole arc in the beginning was learning to let go of the celestial realm and accepting the fact that he was a demon now, effectively granting himself the freedom to love himself once more
-Anemo is the element of freedom right? He fought himself and his inner demons for freedom like that, which happens to a lot of those who are granted this vision (Wanderer and Xiao moment)
-Thats really all I have for him. Tbh, the only other vision I could see him wielding his pyro, but I couldn’t think of anything else I can say that hasn’t already been said
-another short anemo king go figure (he and heizou would get along I think)
Beelzebub
-another one I had to really think of, but upon further deliberation with myself I'm thinking pyro again (the default vision lmfao)
-Yes. Passion for food, he'd get along with Xiangling quite well (too well, imagine her in the devildom holy shit)
-Also pretty passionate about working out and protecting his brothers, so there's that lol
-I am stumped on him bc he's like lowkey just there bro like
-how would he even get his vision idk man
-but imo pyro is the default vision so he gets it (feel free to disagree with me)
Belphegor
-If you think this guy does not have an anemo vision you are wrong
-like dead mf wrong he is anemo all the goddamn way
-he lost his sister and still blames himself for it, but he also wants to be free with his brothers in the devildom
-the other vision i would give him is electro because he does tend to like, shut himself off or whatever so there's that
-but he's 100% anemo I don't make the rules sorry
-first tall male anemo user?? (surprisingly he's 5'10 guys it's probably all that sleep he does lmfao)
Diavolo
-hmmmm, such a hard decision I wonder what vision I would give to the literal prince of hell- pyro.
-jk jk let me explain
-Pyro, because as I've stated before, it is both the default vision imo and also the vision for those who are passionate IMO (I cannot stress this enough)
-Diavolo is very passionate about RAD, and the whole "demons getting along with other species" concept is something he has been working very hard on (man is trying to end specieism in the obey me verse)
-on top of his outgoing and friendly personality, pyro really does fit him like a glove. I could make an argument for geo because he shoulders a fuck ton of responsibility for the devildom (esp in nightbringer) but like
-he is warm and friendly and strong, perfect pyro material
Barbatos
-I needed to think about this one for a bit, but after further deliberation with the screams that echo in my head, I am confident in saying that this man has an anemo vision
-if he were in the genshin universe he'd def be one of the shady people from celestia (bro is literally istaroth but i digress)
-as much as anemo fits him aesthetically, I also want to point out that he just... gives people freedom? Like the first half of nightbringer was him finally fulfilling someone's wish to go to heaven to see their lover
-he also just parallels a lot with venti, idk i just see him being very fitting with an anemo vision
-like, he's immortal yet does not look it (Scara, Xiao, Venti), downplays his power to appear "normal" in a sense that he won't be an immediate threat to those perceiving him (Venti), saw a pyro kid and decided to adopt them and begrudgingly take care of them no matter how annoying they are (Xiao and Hu Tao though I may be reaching)
Luke
-bro does not have a vision yet (jk its cryo)
-I feel like he'd be given a hydro vision solely for the fact that he is changing his, quite frankly specie-ist, ways lol (like eula hello?)
-he is quite shy when mc first met him, the only reason why he didn't immediately get mad at them is because they weren't a demon and that's saying something
-he tends to be very guarded around said demons, often becoming aggressive when interacting with them but he's warming up. It's like a wall of ice slowly melting through the mc and simeon's guidance
-he also reminds me of mika for some reason
Solomon
-he has an electro vision and yes, it's exactly the same situation as Lisa
-though he doesn't need one (none of them do tbh), I feel like he wanted one just for shits and giggles like I definitely see him being a descender on Teyvat
-he's literally the most powerful human in the obey me verse, of course he's going to be viewed differently from others even though he "tries" to not be too overt about it (very, very big emphasis on tries. I think he only does it for mc atp)
-I feel like he'd get along well with the electro ladies as well, particularly Miko and Lisa (Gorou and Luke need to hide like asap)
-in all seriousness though, he just fits into electro so well given all the character traits present in electro wielders
-another vision I could see him having is dendro, partly because he's always down to have more knowledge about magic that he doesn't know yet and is in constant pursuit of creating pacts with the demon brothers
Simeon
-another hydro wielder :)
-calm, collected, elegant, sticks to their principles- classic hydro archetype tbh I love him so much
-again, very similar to Lucifer's reasoning but he leans more towards hydro wielders like Nilou and Candace I think, who are quite relaxed but won't hesitate to protect what they love and fight for what they deem is right
-spoiler warning: he literally got cast out of heaven for the mc.
-as I've said before, there really isn't anything I can add that I haven't said before, other than the fact that Simeon would definitely enjoy Xinqiu's company and possibly get along with Furina when discussing acting and the arts
-other than hydro, I don't think any other vision suits him tbh (big maybe on anemo but like, it doesn't really fit tbh)
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I am so fucking bad at character analysis but here you guys go
the labor of my sleepless night while i gather more motivation to write the second chapter of madame neuvillette
also i am so very tempted to start writing for other fandoms but this blog is enough for now tbh
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effervescentdragon · 10 months
Note
galex + whatever u want
it fits so much that you sent this bcs i was gonna tag you anyways, this is for @sebsrainbowbicycle and you, aka the george and lando to my alex 😘 yes, i realise how incestuous this sounds. i'm dee's sidechick anyways.
"- so he sat me down in the restaurant and told me to shut up until he's done talking and then told me he wanted us to be exclusively sleeping with each other."
Lando paused the game and stared at George. He opened his mouth, blinked three times, closed his mouth in a frown, then huffed.
"Isn't that what you've been doing anyway?" he asked. George groaned.
"I know! I didn't have the heart to tell him that's already the case with me, because I don't have the time or the energy to go," he waved his hands around, almost hitting himself in the head with the controller to Lando's immediate amusement, "screw around or something."
Lando snorted. "Or something."
"Shut up." George tried to glare at him, but he failed pretty spectacularly because he could feel he was blushing.
"When are you seeing him next?" Lando asked, unpausing the game.
"On Saturday. He's spending the night," George answered distractedly, because Lando immediately threw a Red Shell at him, the cheater.
"Huh," was all Lando said, and kicked George in the shin before he could remember to ask what that was all about.
-
"That smells wonderful, Georgie," Alex said as he stepped behind George and put his arms ariund George's waist. George was going to pretend that the heat in his cheeks was because of the oven.
"Give me a second to cool it off and you can eat the whole thing," he said, putting the poppy-seed cake on the tray.
Alex nuzzled George's neck, and it always felt so good, and then he whispered "I'd rather eat you," and George had just enough presence of mind to turn the oven off before he was dragged into the bedroom.
He didn't mind much.
-
"Bye, Georgie," Alex said, leaning in to kiss him once again.
"Bye," George replied, playing with Alex's hair tips. They were blue this time, and George thought they looked pretty cool, even though he pretended to disapprove on principle. Alex had only laughed at him, and kissed him until he forgot all of his arguments. "You'll pick me up on Thursday?"
"Yes, of course." He grinned, and George really liked how big his smile was.
"Good," was all George said, because he'd die before he said what he thought - I miss you already.
-
He was cleaning the stove when it hit him.
He almost brained himself trying to get to the phone. He did drop the phone, because he forgot to take his rubber gloves off. The screen-protecting glass cracked a little, so he'd have to change it, but that wasn't important because -
'Hell-'
"Am I dating Alex?"
There was a moment's pause on the line before Lando burst out laughing.
'I was wondering when you'd catch up! My money was on another two weeks at least, but oh well. Good for you.'
George sat down on the floor. "What the fuck."
'Very good fuck, from what you've been saying,' he said through laughter. 'I need to congratulate him on being smart enough to pull this. Good for him, not letting you sag - uh -'
"Sabotage," George corrected him quietly. "Yeah."
Lando said nothing for a moment. 'It'll be fine, yeah? He's good for you.'
"Yeah," George replied. "Yeah, he is."
-
The monologue George had been practicing for three days in front of the mirror went out of his head the moment he opened his door and saw Alex smiling and twirling a single daisy inbetween his fingers.
"Are we dating?"
Alex blinked, taken aback, and something in his expression became closed. George didn't like it.
"We are going on a date right now, Georgie, if that's -"
"Alex." he said, and Alex stopped talking. "Don't. Please."
Alex nodded seriously. "We are only dating if you want us to be dating, George," he said softly. "I told you when we - when this started. I like you. I'm not pressuring you into anything. Whatever you want us to be, I'm comoletely fine with that."
George's heart was beating too fast. He was gripping the door handle too tight. He thought he shouldn't be able to breathe, but he could smell Alex's deodorant and cologne and breathing was the easiest thing in the world.
"Okay," he said, and stepped forward, and kissed Alex.
He felt Alex smile into the kiss, and he broke it off. "Did everyone know asides from me?" he asked, and Alex laughed.
"Yeah," he said, grinning. "I think Charles won the pool. Lando was pretty pissed off about that." He kissed George briefly. "Fuck them. I got you."
George felt his pulse in his throat.
"Yeah," he said slowly, tangling Alex's fingers with his. "You do."
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pleasuretrade · 20 days
Text
i do not have any stargate followers but im putting this in the tag to let all 40 neurotic active sg-1 fans on here know that i started writing a crack taken seriously about daniel becoming catboy
i started writing it as a joke but it actually brought me sm joy lol
idk when i'm gonna finish it but here's a lil excerpt
 Once Jack had dragged him back into the main chamber, Daniel rolled over to peer up at him, backlit by the entrance above. Even in the poor light, Daniel could tell something was wrong. Jack’s body was tense, his arms out to his sides like he was trying to decide whether or not to grab a weapon.
“Daniel, what in the hell have you done now?”
 Still not fully clear on what was happening, Daniel could only shade his eyes to try to gauge the exact level of pissed-off on Jack’s face. He was unceremoniously yanked up by the front of his jacket and given an aggressive once-over. Daniel felt fine, and murmured as much, squinting away from the invasion of personal space.
“You don’t look fine!”
“Sir?” Carter said from somewhere up above. Daniel could just see the silhouette of her hair as she peeked in. “Oh my god.”
“What? What are you two so freaked out about, is there a spider on my face, what?”
 Jack reached over his head and for a brief moment Daniel thought he was going to ruffle his hair, only he found himself flinching away when Jack’s fingers came into contact with something there. Daniel swatted at whatever it was, trying frantically to brush it off. A bug? A rodent? An alien parasite? There were two of them, and they were not falling off, and he could feel them, and they were very sensitive, and oh god- “Cat ears?!” Jack barked, yanking on one of them.
“Ow! Jesus, Jack, come on!”
“Can it, Mittens, I was just seeing if they were really attached.”
“They are really attached!”
“What is going on?!” Sam pleaded, gawking from above at his new appendages.
Jack peered all around his head like there might be a button to eject them like beaters in a hand mixer. “Do they hurt?”
“Only when you yank on them!”
“I don’t like your tone, Daniel.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry, Jack, let me j-” Daniel took a step forward and immediately felt a tingle climb his spine.
“Daniel Jackson?” Teal’c was now peering into the chamber as well.
 Slowly, as if he turned slowly enough it might not be real, Daniel looked behind him and down at his ass. Reaching under his jacket and shirt, under the high waistband of his pants, Daniel already knew what he would find there.
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valiantstarlights · 10 months
Text
[Android Corinthian AU] Just A Very Normal Bus Ride To The Shopping Center
Dream and Hob are husbands who bought a sex android (Corinthian) for them to use.
Inspired by this post, and my reply, which I suppose makes this crack treated seriously? 🤔
Tagging: @notallsandmen @chaosheadspace @ml-nolan @chaosclimber and @beatnikfreakiswriting because you all deserve to see what you have brought upon this world 😂
CW: free use Corinthian in public 🥰 spicy hobrintheus content
"I think we should buy cheese," Hob tells Dream as the bus turns right on Kamski Avenue.
"More cheese?" Dream asks, pen held above his tablet and one eyebrow raised. "We still have some swiss cheese at home."
"Well, yeah, but I want to buy mozzarella, specifically, so I could make some mozzarella sticks for Corinthian," Hob says. "He's been a really good boy all week, and I want to reward him with something nice." He thrusts his hips in emphasis, and Corinthian, on his knees in front of him and currently sucking his cock, moans as Hob's cock get buried even deeper down his throat.
Hob smiles down at the blonde android and pets his hair fondly. "See, Dream? Don't you think he deserves a reward?"
Dream hums and taps his pen against the tablet. "I'm not certain this qualifies as a job well done," he says, and gestures at one of Corinthian's hands around his own cock, which Corinthian has neglected to stroke while Hob was showing him affection. "He hasn't grasped the concept of multitasking yet."
Hob chuckles when Corinthian whines and resumes stroking Dream again. "He's a quick learner, though. We just bought him a couple of weeks ago and he's already taken both of us at the same time."
Corinthian bobs his head up and down faster as if in agreement. Hob's breath hitches as Corinthian deepthroats him and sucks hard, his cheeks hollowing. "Shit, Cori. I'm gonna cum soon. Stay there, will you? Want to cum down your throat."
Corinthian hums and obediently stays in place. Hob grinds deeper, and turns his head to the side to tongue fuck Dream's mouth while one of his hands thumb at the head of Dream's cock.
When Hob finally cums, moan muffled by Dream's lips, Corinthian starts swallowing down his spend. He cleans Hob up as Hob and Dream continue kissing above him, and when he surfaces, slightly panting, he opens his mouth, sticks out his tongue, and shows them that he has swallowed everything.
Technically, Corinthian doesn't need to breathe, but he learned that Dream and Hob likes it when he looks wrecked. And he likes them looking at him with lust clear on their eyes.
"Good boy," Hob says. "Go tend to Dream now. Make sure to be good so he'll buy you something nice later."
Corinthian shuffles over and Dream spreads his legs wider to accommodate him. "Is there something in particular you want to buy, Corinthian?" he asks. "A toy, perhaps? Lingerie of your own?"
Corinthian pauses. While he would certainly like to have toys and lingerie of his own, preferably something lacy and white, he wants something else at the moment.
"I would like to know the taste of lollipops, my lord," Corinthian says, before he leans forward and starts servicing Dream's cock.
"Lollipops," Dream repeats, then looks at Hob, unimpressed. "This is your fault for introducing him to food."
Hob shrugs, already zipped up and checking how many stops they still had to go before alighting at the shopping center. "Yeah, but it can't harm his systems, and you've got to admit, he's gonna taste sweet when we kiss him after he eats some lollipops. Plus, don't you wanna hear him sucking on something as he sits on your cock while you write your novel?"
Dream sighs, but Hob knows he has already won. No doubt Dream is already picturing Corinthian sitting on his lap and warming him as he works. "Fine. But no strange flavors. Or colors."
"Definitely not the hot sauce one, then," Hob says playfully and pecks Dream on the cheek. "Three more stops to go, love."
Dream nods and hands him his pen and tablet. Hob cheerfully writes down mozzarella and fruit-flavored red/pink lollipops on their grocery list while Dream grabs Corinthian's hair and sets a rough pace.
Hob could see some of the other passengers on the bus touching themselves discreetly as they watch Corinthian get facefucked by Dream, but he just smiles menacingly at them when they make eye contact. No doubt they'd want to use Corinthian as well, but Dream and Hob are adamant in making their android learn that anyone else's touch besides theirs is unacceptable and should be treated harshly.
Corinthian has already seen Hob viciously slap a middle-aged man's hand away, when the man reached for Corinthian's face while Dream was fucking him from behind on the bus stop. No doubt his system has already processed that interaction and came to the appropriate conclusion.
Only Dream and Hob get to touch him.
Hob hums to himself as he reviews their shopping list. Maybe he'll buy a switchblade for Corinthian if he's good. Would that be too much? Should he wait until Corinthian's first anniversary with them? But that's too far into the future. What if someone touches Corinthian inappropriately while he and Dream are not around?
Should they teach Corinthian to pluck the person's eyes out? Maybe bite the person's hand? That would certainly send a message.
"Hob," Dream moans as he shoves his cock further down Corinthian's throat, his hips already stuttering. "Need your mouth on me. Hurry. Gonna cum."
Hob smiles indulgently at his beloved husband and untucks Dream's shirt from his jeans, lifts his shirt up, and latches his lips on one nipple while one hand tweaks and rubs the other one. "Go on, love," Hob murmurs against Dream's chest as Dream starts fucking Corinthian's throat faster, whining and clutching at both Hob and Corinthian. "Give our boy one more batch of cum before our stop."
Dream groans as he cums, hips twitching, his grip painful on Hob's hair, but Hob doesn't mind. He sucks and nips on the nipple in front of him as Corinrhian sucks at the head of Dream's cock contentedly, drinking down his cum, his eyes glazed with pleasure.
"Good, darling?"
Dream nods, still shaking, and he, too, pats and runs his fingers through Corinthian's hair, fascinated when the android preens and nuzzles against his hand.
Obviously, Dream's his favorite. But that's okay, because Dream is Hob's favorite, too.
"Up you get now," Hob says, and assists both Dream and Corinthian in getting to their feet as their stop comes within view and the bus slowly decelerates. Corinthian leans against him and presses a little kiss on his chin on his way up, while Dream kisses him on the mouth and nips at his lower lip.
Such sweethearts. Sometimes, Hob thinks he's their favorite, too. They can all be each other's favorite.
When both men are stable on their feet and Dream has tucked his cock back in his trousers and smoothed down his shirt, Corinthian takes Hob's left hand while Dream takes his right.
"Don't forget your tablet," Corinthian says and picks up the tablet and pen from where Hob placed it. His voice is still hoarse from Dream's rough use.
"Thank you, Corinthian," Dream says, and leans over Hob to kiss their android for some positive reinforcement. Dream knows Hob intentionally placed it down with no intention of picking it back up again, in order to teach Corinthian good manners. "Will you review our shopping list for us and tell us if we missed anything?"
Corinthian nods, happy to be given a task. "Lube," he says, as the three of them alight. "Breadcrumbs and eggs if we're having mozzarella sticks. Granulated sugar is getting pretty low, too."
Dream and Hob share a look and smile at each other. They had purposely left out a couple of things, which they hoped Corinthian would notice even after being fucked three times in a row.
"Of course we're having mozzarella sticks," Hob says and squeezes Corinthian's hand. "You've been our good boy, haven't you?"
Corinthian says nothing, but he ducks his head in happiness, a small pleased smile on his lips.
"I can't believe I forgot to write down eggs," Hob tells Dream, leaving Corinthian's system to process his feelings in peace.
"And the lube," Dream quips. "I for one think that eggs are not more important than lube."
"Says the person who often begs me to make omelets for breakfast."
Dream elbows Hob gently on the side in punishment for him calling him out. "What do you think, Corinthian?"
"I agree with you, my lord," Corinthian says, always happy to be included. "Lube is more important than eggs, and is used more often in our household."
Ah, the perils of having an android lover. "Yeah, sure, go ahead and gang up on me," Hob says. "See if I make any more egg dishes in the future."
Dream ignores his latter sentence and just hums and runs his fingers 'innocently' down Hob's crotch area in an effort to take the sting from his earlier words. It's setting a bad example for Corinthian to follow, and they both know it, but Hob can't bring himself to scold his husband. Especially not when he has such a wicked look in his eyes. "I think we would like to gang up on you in a different way, Hob."
Corinthian laughs at that, tilting his head back a little and exposing his beautiful neck that's been heavily marked up by lips and teeth. "I agree with that, too."
The three of them walk towards the shopping center, hand in hand in hand. Dream and Hob may have paid a lot for Corinthian, but the amount didn't even make a dent on Dream's bank account, and it's obvious that he's the best purchase the two of them will ever make this year.
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the-fandom-therapist · 4 months
Text
(YEP I'M ALREADY DONE, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
As promised, I'm tagging you @ultimateplaylistmaker x) Hope you will enjoy it!
This is my interpretation of their "alicorn Kokichi AU" check it out everyone it's awesome!
It's crack taken seriously btw, I put way too many details and changes, I hope you'll still like it!
Also apologies if anyone is OOC, I never wrote about MLP before x)
That's the first part, mainly Kokichi's, I'll write more about the others! -I stopped because Tumblr was struggling to show all of it lmao, I think I've reach the characters limit-
Death is a bitch.
Wait, no. Death is a dude. Well, bastard then.
The terms of their deal were SIMPLE! He beats the god -at poker you morons, he's not stupid enough to challenge the Grim Reaper at chess, one of the oldest games in history, and apparently one of its personal favorites- and him and all the other idiots from the killing game get brought back to life.
(No he's not attached to any of them. Absolutely not. He just added them so he wouldn't get killed again straight away by that damn assassin. Because without the space idiot to restrain her, she would have gone to kill him again. Anyway, not the point.)
And he fucking did, yes sir! Outsmarted the god of death himself, the grim reaper in person! He's amazing like that. Don't try to fuck with a Supreme Leader of Evil!
Anyway. Point is, he won. He tricked the god of death himself to fold on his turn by pure bluff.
And that was the condition: if he could trick death itself to fold, to give up while he had nothing, then it could recognize his value. Apparently, Death -or Thanatos if he remembers correctly- likes bold humans, so it -he?- have no problem make an exception from time to time. Under conditions obviously.
He didn't had many humans who tried. So every attempts was a welcomed change from the -apparently- frankly boring existence he had.
Hey, he wasn't about to complain, it helped here.
He grabbed his scarf -how the hell did he had it with him when he died without it, no clue, but again let's not look a gift horse in the mouth shall we?- and thought of his team. He'll see them soon.
He was already starting to feel weird. Like he was being sucked out of his own... body? Probably Death doing his thing.
However, right before things turned to black, he could have sworn he heard a "wait shit-" and saw a panicked expression on the god's face.
Huh. Wonder what that means...
~0o0~
The first thing he registered was the smell.
A foul smell, and one he knew well, considering he'd not always been hanging with DICE in the most sanitary places.
Garbage. his mind helpfully provided.
Wow, fuck you too Death. Really, too much honor!
He scoffed, and started to get up wobbly. Waking up from dying was... weird. His head was killing him -ah!- same for his sides.
When he tried to get up from the ground, he barely made one step before falling back on all four. And...
Wait a second.
WAIT. A. SECOND.
That's not a hand. That's a damn hoof! What the hell?
A quick check up confirmed that yup. He's a horse now. Everything's fine.
Oh and he have wings too. Because why not.
What the hell did Death do?! Wait. Didn't he acted surprised before he passed out?
...Did the god of fucking DEATH made a mistake?
How do you even fuck up that badly? He's human for fuck's sake! Now he's a horse?! (Well technically a pegasus he guesses.)
Alright. Focus Kokichi. Freak out later. Right now you need to know where in the world you are.
At least he still have his scarf. Which... thank god (clearly not Death.) it helps a bit to have something familiar.
Alright. Now that he more or less put himself back under control, he needed to exit that damn alleyway... He could already feel a headache. Gre-
Hold up. There something on his head too.
Great, now what?
...That felt like a... horn or some sort.
What, so he's both a fucking unicorn and a pegasus now? That's a thing?
Does Death have fursonas or...? Actually, that could be an interesting question.
But that's not the time for this.
Right now he needed to hide. He heard voices, and even though he couldn't understand the fuck they were saying -great, he wasn't even in Japan? That wasn't a language he recognized either.- he could hear the dangerous tone they had.
So that's what he did! He bolted under a pile of trash, not caring about the smell. And he saw...
...Are those supposed to be horses too? They... looked like a mix of horse and bugs.
Not thinking of the Insect Meet and Greet. Bad idea. Not thinking of Gonta's execution either. Nope. Not doing that.
They were all black, green big buggy-like eyes and wings... Were those fangs? Yikes. He definitely doesn't want to be seen by them... And they have holes in them? Shouldn't that hurt?
They were speaking. Something he couldn't understand... But they weren't alone.
There were actual horses with them! But wait.
They were clearly prisoners. Uh oh.
Welp, seems he was right to hide! One point for him. But something was a bit weird too.
Some had horns. Some had wings, and some had neither. But none had both, asides from these... insects-horses bad guys.
Alright.
Clearly he's not in Japan (or on Earth at all) and this place is populate with sentients horses. Or ponies, who cares.
They don't seem to be able to have both a horn and wings. Only these creepy bug-horses seem to. And they don't look friendly.
If he want to fit in, he'll need to hide either the wings or the horn. He doesn't want to end up in jail before he can figure a way to go back to his own world.
...The horn would probably be the easiest to hide. He'll just need to lie about why he have something on his head that looks like one.
Easy peasy. He can do this. Hell, he tricked the god of death, he can trick a few horses!
...He'll just need to learn the language. Great.
Also, he needed to find a way to avoid those creepy bug-horses guys. Something tells him that looking like one of their prisoners wouldn't help him there.
But first thing first: find a way to hide that horn. He suppose it's a small mercy that he got thrust in a dumpster. It's easy to find what you want, as long as you know how to look.
Two minutes later he found some sturdy papers and got to work. With hooves it wasn't easy, but he had all the time in the world.
~0o0~
...He's pretty sure he passed a good hour on it. But it was done! It was clearly not in the best condition, but at least it hid the horn efficiently -it was a hassle to put the rubber band around something on his head with hooves, but he did it. It wouldn't do to have his cover getting blown away by the wind!- and would stay in place.
While he was working, he kept hearing some words in particular. They sounded like names?
And it thankfully made him learn that even if he couldn't understand what the FUCK those bug-horses were saying, he could at least understand the normal ponies. (Probably because he's one too.) Phew.
"Celestia" "Cadence" "Chrysalis" were the words he kept hearing in those creepy guys' language. Also there was the same word in front of the first two names, the third one had another word.
Considering the normal horses were calling the first two "princess", he could understand Chrysalis was probably the leader of those bug-horses.
Sounds like girl's names either way, so if the first two were princesses, the last one must be a queen, and probably an enemy if what he was seeing was any indication.
Anyway, that wasn't important. What was, was to find a way to avoid these... bug-horses things. (He's pretty sure he heard the horses -or ponies they were rather small- call them something like "Changelings"? Whatever that means.)
However, when he thought about that, he had an odd feeling. It was like his body was telling him "big thing's coming towards us captain!" And when he went to -discreetly duh- check, he was greeted with a white light which was sweeping those Changelings and send them flying far away from here, leaving the horses alone.
...Well damn. He suppose he didn't had to worry about those now. That's one thing taken cared of.
Now he could use that diversion to get the hell away from here! It was a good time to learn if he could run like this.
Running... to somewhere. Away from this place at least. It have a big castle nearby, and he's going to bet there's a ruler in there. Probably those princesses. And he does NOT want to be near the persons -or horses in that case- that can put him to jail.
Next, he need to find a way to get something to eat. Because he's plently good at picking pockets, but usually he have two human hands for this!
That also leave the problem of figuring the currency... Urgh. All that reasoning hurt his head.
First thing first. Waiting for the night to fall. It's easier to walk in the shadows -even if looked to be a rather light shade of purple- that way. And apparently, there was a wedding going on? Perfect. Everyone will be too busy with that to notice someone hanging around.
Maybe he could steal a few things along the way before buying supplies to perform in the streets and gain more money legally. Because while he doesn't mind stealing, if he get caught he doesn't have his team here to bust him out...
DICE...
Raah, enough self-pity! He have a world to figure out!
With a slap on his face -or rather, a punch...- he started to run forwards. After a few struggles, he was able to run like he didn't learned like, five minutes ago, and he setted off.
~0o0~
The adventage with big cites, was that no matter how odd you may look, nobody will pay enough attention to retain your face. Because why should they? You're just another person passing by.
That's how he successful picked the pockets of a few horses without anyone noticing. Seems like even in this world the riches were dumb! And here he was, worried that with hooves he'd struggle.
He hid his treasure in his scarf. Regrouped the coins in one wallet and-
And holy shit were those gold coins?!
Kokichi knew they looked rich, but he never thought they'd literally carry GOLD on their person like that!
...Something was clearly fishy here. It looked too good to be true.
Aaaaaaaand he was proven right. Goddamnit. Apparently gold didn't had the same value here, if buying only a few pastries costed two or three golden coins!
...He really hoped he could ask the prices directly, because if he have to dicipher any writing he's screwed.
Because apparently, even if he could understand the language, he couldn't read it! Damn it. Back to first grade he goes, having to relearn how to read! Just his luck.
Hmmmm.
Entering a shop and interacting without knowing any of the mannerisms of the ponies would be a bad idea. He was lucky the shops there stayed opened the full night thanks to that wedding (a royal wedding even, damn. One of those princesses?) but if it's to blow his cover, it's stupid.
Maybe he could pretend to be deaf? That could work. He just hope they don't have a sign language here, otherwise he's fucked.
He eyed the shop (it had a jester's hat for a roof. That's clearly the place he needed to go to!) and took a deep breath.
Alright! Time to see if he's as good as an actor as he was when still human!
~0o0~
He pushed the door to be greeted by a cheerful pony behind the counter (he's going to call them ponies because they are seriously smaller than horses, all of them.)
"Welcome, welcome! Are you searching to prank your friends? You are at the right place! We have everything, from fake flowers to- um, boy?"
Well, sorry random pony but he have to pretend he can't hear you. So he just looked at the shelves with a lost expression.
"Um hello?"
Nope.
The cashier was probably puzzled. Eh, sorry. But well, he needs to be safe here!
Once he noticed what he needed, he grabbed the deck of cards -with his teeth, not like he had any other options...- before going to the register. The pony was clearly confused, but he still tried to keep a smile on.
"Ah, found your treasure? It's gonna be two golds!"
Now... Action!
He pretended to be confused for a second. Then he widdened his eyes, before putting a hoof at his ear -that still felt SO weird- and then shook his head.
And thankfully, the cashier seemed to understand, thank fuck.
"Oh! Alright, hold on!"
He went to rumminaged behind the counter and put a paper and a pen. Then he started to doodle two coins, and pointed to the deck of cards.
Alright then! It worked. Phew.
Also, it looked like a gold is really just a golden coin. That's a mystery solved at least. He nodded, before putting the wallet from his scarf, and taking out two coins that he put on the counter.
He got a bag out of this, and his deck of cards.
And a bunch of informations too. Apparently ponies are way less ableists than humans! That guy literally went "alright please wait" when he pretended to be deaf.
He grinned. Oh he's going to abuse of it so much.
Now though, he had a stand to settle... But later.
He's tired, and he's been there for a long time. The day was even not so long away from rising, so he thinks he should settle for the night.
Since he can keep the deaf act, he could probably find a room. Probably. If not, he'll just find a dark corner and sleep there. Not the first time he slept outside after all!
~0o0~
Finding a room was easy. So yay for him!
Falling asleep on the other hand, was not.
Let's put asides the few attempts he had to do to find a comfortable position as a pony to lay into okay. Their bed weren't different from humans, and it wasn't that hard.
However, sleep meant nightmares for him.
Really, that was expected. He struggled enough to sleep on a daily basis -what do you know, killing games are bad for your mental health! Shocker. Who would have guessed- so with the whole mess that happened with his death, that was even worse.
Everytime he closed his eyes, it's to reopen them in the hangar. And while being human again would be great, reviving his own death isn't synonym of good dreams.
He gave up sleeping after three times waking up in cold sweat. But hey, apparently that was enough sleep so the sun that was starting to rise was already really high! So midday, or later then that.
He payed for the room and left. Now, to find a place far enough from that town...
~0o0~
He travelled by night, slept in the day, and gathered as much informations as possible.
Apparently the kingdom as a whole was called Equestria -damn really no inspiration uh- and that Celestia princess was ruling over it in the big castle he saw at Canterlot (the capital then) with her little sister Luna. Both responsible for the sun and moon respectively.
Okay so appareltly the celestial bodies aren't moving without help here. All the work of magic. Even the weather was controlled by pegasi.
Actually, maybe he can try to learn how to fly while he's at it, that'd be fun. It's not because he's stuck here -preferably temporary, looking at you Death!- that he can't have a bit of fun while he's at it.
He wonders if that include the others too.
Wait shit.
The others.
They are going to have his head if they learned they'd be brought back as fucking ponies because of him. (In his defense he never wanted that, it's Death's fault!)
But to avoid suspicion on himself, he'd had to also cover their asses. Great. Let's see.
He'll just explain -once he settled somewhere- that him and a group of others were kept prisoners by those Changelings. And when they attacked Canterlot, they brought him and the others with them, to use as hostages if they get caught before they could carry out their plan.
They'd been raised by them, away from ponies since they were toddlers so they don't even have "pony names" (he realized the names here were fucking cheesy, nothing like Japanese names) and now they're just completely lost. And if the others were talking about things that didn't made sense, it was for that reason.
Yup, sounds good! With a few fake tears it'll do the trick perfectly. Now, he just need to find an isolated place to settle.
Also maybe picking a name along the way too. That'd be a good idea to blend in.
Oh wait, does he have to pick one for the others too? He hope not.
Anyway, for now he needed to concentrate on himself first.
~0o0~
...He'd made a HUGE mistake.
He was -apparently, if the ponies' words were to believe- close to a little town called Ponyville (do they really have no inspiration for the names? Come on guys!) so he had decided to shift his sleeping schedule to actual night since he was pretty close.
"Not like that would change much about my dreams" he thought.
Ah! He couldn't have been more wrong.
The nightmare started the same. The usual deaths, and executions, before his-
But when the press was about to come down, he felt something... different.
Pure white energy -that he could recognize as magic now- completely wipe out the hangar out of existence.
Now he was just... In uh... Space? The spaceman'd be thrilled.
He was on a path made of light blue light and white dots... The same thing that was everywhere.
There were doors too, the hell?
"Whomst in Equestria's name art thou?!"
Uh oh.
He turned around -he's so damn glad that in dreams he's human...- and is greeted by-
Wait what?
That's a dark blue mare -definitely taller than most ponies- with... weird space floaty mane.
But the most important thing is that she had both a horn and wings!
How is that possible? He thought only those Changelings guys could-
Wait.
Waaaaaait a minute.
She had what looked to be a crown. And she had a moon... tattoo? On her flank.
Is that the fucking princess of the moon? What is SHE doing here?! Also, how is that possible that she also got both wings and horn-
Oh. Oh no.
That's a fucking status isn't it? Having both. Normal ponies either have one of the two, or neither. Having both must mean being royalty.
...Yeah no. He's keeping that horn HIDDEN. He want to be able to leave this world, not being bond here by duties!
(Besides, the only people he want to lead are his minions. No one else.)
No wonder ponies were looking at him weird! That's like pretending to be royalty!
Let's hope it's not a crime... Wait, if it was he would have been arrested already.
Fuck.
"Answer us!"
Oh whoops. He forgot the princess was still here.
"Gotta go, bu-bye!"
He needs to wake up. He have to. He can't stay here. He have to!
He doesn't know how, he doesn't why, but he successfully woke up after everything around him turned purple.
Now. Now let's think.
He needed to avoid getting the attention of the princess. Considering she didn't intervene until now, he assume that it's because she's only walking in dreams in the night -make sense for the moon princess to be up in the night.
So... He need to keep the noctural schedule. Sleeping in the day, to avoid her. And if he can't, then he need to keep her at bay.
But considering he doesn't know how to use magic, he's going to focus on the first option.
To be able to use magic, he needs training. And to train, he needs books -no way in hell he's asking for help after learning all that mess about royalty- and to be able to understand those books he need to learn how to read.
A hell of a program he have in front of him. Oh well, at least it's gonna keep him busy.
Alright. He needed to go now.
To that town he goes! While expecting to not draw attention.
~0o0~
He arrived at the border of it. There was a rather small and cozy looking cottage here, surrounded by forest. It was midday, the pony probably wasn't hom-
His thoughts were cut off by a high-pitched scream. Probably a girl's voice.
...Great, what now? A scene like this would be hard to settle-
...
There was a yellow pegasus. Pink mane, who was protecting herself (assuming she was the one who screamed) from a bulky earth pony (that's how those who have no wings nor horn were called right?)
The earth pony was really tall, like, two heads more than Kokichi himself. Light green color, dark green tangled mane...
Wait a minute. WAIT A DAMN FUCKING MINUTE.
Red eyes with round glasses, and a bug cage warped around its neck.
It's-
"Gonta so sorry! Gonta not meant to scare horse!"
"GONTA!"
Wow, go him. Yelling his name like that and sprinting in their direction.
That at least got both of their attention. So there's that.
Gokuhara was looking at him with pure confusion. Probably didn't recognized him, which was fair. He was a fucking pony for fuck's sake.
"Uh? Does Gonta know you, horse? Gonta sorry, doesn't know horse with wings..."
"Geez, thanks a lot. he huffed. Can't recognize your leader? So mean! How could you forget about me? he started to sniffled. You're breaking my heart! How could you?!"
The theatrics were apparently enough.
"K-Kokichi?"
"At last! he said, raising a hoof. That's me alright."
"Kokichi is a horse."
"Pony technically, pegasus to be more exact. And you're one too."
"But Gonta die-"
"About that! he cut him off. We need to talk in private. Bu-bye yellow pegasus, sorry for the scare!"
He grabbed Gonta's bug cage's strap and pulled to make the other follow him in a recluse place.
Once far enough, he sighed.
"Alright, just hear me out. I know you're confused as hell, me too. Maybe even mad at me about what happened in the game, I won't blame you for that. But we have other things to worry about: we're not in our world, I think you noticed as much."
"People are horses." nodded Gonta with a serious expression.
"They call themselves ponies, but yeah. There's no human here. There's no killing game either. Monokuma doesn't exist. The Academy either. This world... is more or less peaceful."
"No killing game? he softly asked. No Monokuma?"
"Nope. Nothing. And... Considering we're both here, I'd say everyone who died is also here. Though to find them is going to be complicated..."
The leader pondered for a second. How could they find everyone? It would be best if everyone wasn't far away from each other, if Death comes back for them -and he better!- it'd be quicker to be send back.
"Kokichi died?"
Oh wait. Oops. Right, he forgot Gonta wouldn't know.
"Yup! Right after you in fact. Anyway, not the point-"
"Did Monokuma also punished Kokichi?"
Uh? Why is he asking that?
Oh.
Everyone... Please stop blaming Kokichi now.
...He's still too kind.
"Nope. Maki killed me. he paused. Or rather Kaito. Eh, one of the two. I don't know what finished me off. he shook his hoof. Anyway, not the point. I died, and Kaito also died probably because he was sick. Meaning, everyone who died before you, plus Kaito and myself are probably here."
"E-Everyone?"
"Yup. But we need to recognize them -wouldn't be too hard probably...- and find a cover story."
"Cover story?"
"This world doesn't have a killing game Gonta. That means, if we tell them what happened to us, they won't understand, and that'll bring us problems."
"Oh. Gonta understand. But Gonta doesn't want to lie to them... They look nice."
"Good thing I'm here! Leave the lying part to me. I'm a liar after all! Also we need new names. Because names here aren't like ours. If we want to blend in... Just leave it to me okay?"
The giant just nodded.
The leader just nodded back, before returning to the cottage. Let's hope she's still here and uh... Not freaking out.
~0o0~
...Uh oh.
She called her friends apparently. There were five new ponies all around her. Two unicorns, another pegasus and two earth ponies.
"Hey you two! How dare you scare Fluttershy like that!" yelled the blue pegasus.
"Ah! Gonta sorry! Gonta didn't meant to scare pony!"
Well, here goes the enthomologist, apologizing again. But Kokichi's not going to play that card. He put a hoof in front of the giant and frowned.
"Don't apologize, we don't know if they aren't with them!"
Cue confusion. That's what he want to see!
"W-With them?"
"You know how they are! They can change appearance at will and pretend they're your friend!"
Not a lie. The mastermind was -if what Death told him was true- a master of disguise. The Ultimate Cosplayer after all. And the ponies would probably think of the changelings, which is what he wants.
"Hey! Are you saying we're changelings!"
"And what if I am uh? he grinned. Don't like having the truth in your face?"
"H-Hey now."
Oh? The purple unicorn stopped the blue pegasus. Seems like he found the leader of that little group.
"We aren't changelings. We swear on Celestia's name!"
"And how can we believe you uh? You could be lying!"
There. That was the cue for Gonta normally...
"They don't smell like changelings..." he mumbled.
"You should listen to your friend! We're not changelings! We fought them!"
Now, to pretend to be hesitant.
"Are you sure?" he asked the enthomologist.
Gonta nodded, and he pretended to scratch his head -while leaving the papers around his horn alone- with confusion.
"I think we all started on the wrong hoof. gently said the purple one. You are at Ponyville, you're safe! There's no changelings here."
"Why did you thought there were some in the first place? Changelings don't live here. We kicked their butts not so long ago!"
"Rainbow Dash! You're not helping. she smiled at them. Sorry about my friend, she's very straightforwards. How about we talk somewhere else, around pastries?"
"Oh oh! the pink one started to jump happily. I'll go prepare them! I'll be right back!"
And she left... by jumping? Why not.
Alright.
Time to bluff the hell out of this conversation.
~0o0~
...It had been stupidly easy. He explained to them that Gonta and him were part of a group of ponies who got abducted when they were toddlers by changelings, got raised by them, humiliated, turned around each other et cetera... Got brought along at the assault on Canterlot, and since the white energy who yeeted the changelings didn't hurt them, they ended up here, and don't know what to do or where to go.
That's how he learned that the wedding that took place was the purple one's (Twilight Sparkle apparently. Still cheesy, yup.) brother's, and they were here, and were also fighting the changelings.
And apparently that wave of magic was from the love between the bride and groom.
Ew. They didn't ended up at Equestria, they ended up at "Cheesy Land". But he still noted the information.
When they asked about why the hell he got a fake horn, he explained that it was to be less beaten by changeling. After all, they have both horn and wings, so he thought if he looked like them they would leave him alone. Not that it worked. -The fact that it was curved helped his story. But come to think of it why is his curved and not everyone else's? Not even the princesses' are curved. Weird.) Now though he just keep it because it's the symbol of the princesses and that's pretty cool! After all it was one of them that indirectly freed him and the others from the changelings' grasp. He's pretending to be like them! (they had no idea how true that statement was.)
That was way too easy to make them believe that with fake tears. Even Gonta tried to comfort him even though he knew it was fake (though it was probably to make it more believable. Gonta is a lot of things, but an idiot isn't one of them.)
"But then... You don't have names?" asked the other unicorn -Rarity if he remembers correctly.
"We have the ones the changelings gave us. he said, wiping the tears with his hoof. Mine's Kokichi Oma. he pointed to Gonta. His is Gonta Gokuhara. But those aren't real ponies' names."
"That's true..." Twilight seemed thoughtful.
"Oh oh! Maybe we can pick some for you!" the pink one said, with a smile that reminded him a bit too much of Angie.
"...I'd prefer choosing my own thanks."
"Of course! Pinkie, let them chose... Once it's done, we'll ask the mayor to put you in the records." Twilight said.
"That'd be nice. Also... If you find someone with a weird name, that's probably a friend of ours."
Not really true, but he needed to find those idiots as quickly as possible.
"I'll pass the word at Clousdale!"
Aaaaaand the blue one was already gone.
"I'll ask around the farm if anyone saw a lost pony." the orange one nodded, tipped her hat and left.
"I'll send a letter at Princess Celestia too. the purple unicorn nodded towards the... dragon? at her side. In the meantime, do you have ideas of names? Also, what are your talents?"
Talents? That's easy- oh wait.
"What do you mean by talent?" he asked, raising a hoof to stop Gonta from talking.
Translation: is that the same thing as their Ultimates?
"Oh. Yeah, I suppose the changelings wouldn't do that... she mumbled to herself. Something you are really good at? You both have your cutie marks so..."
What the fuck is that now. (Also, cheesy, the return.)
"Oh! Gonta is an enthomologist!"
He saw Fluttershy -that's her name right?- perking up from behind Rarity.
"Oh that's great! she turned towards him. And you?"
"I guess you can call me a trickster. he smirked. I prank people. And trick them. a pause. Mainly changelings though."
A lie but hey.
"If Gonta's talent is "Enthomology" you could call mine "tricky dice"." he shrugged.
But that question of names... He needed to find one. And Gonta too.
"Hey Gonta, how about "Baron Buzz" for you? Sounds good?"
"Oh! Gonta not mind this. Gonta likes it!"
"Well, that's settled then. Mine now..."
He think again.
Let's see their situation.
He got attributs that could get him royal duties, which is problematic. He needs to hide it...
He made a deal with Death and no one need to know about that. To get everyone back to life, but also to fuck with miss mastermind too while he's at it.
He grinned.
"Call me Royal Collusion then!"
That's when both Rainbow Dash and the farmer came back.
"I found a pegasus that looks really lost, and he calls himself Kaito... something."
"I found a small guy that call himself Ryoma!" added the other.
Oh. Well that was quick.
"They're with us alright. You're coming Gonta? Let's get Ryoma back first."
"Hm hm!"
First they get the depressed tennis player back, then the astridiot.
Welp, they got a pretty nice program ahead of them it seemed.
"Then let's go."
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everystephoftheway · 1 year
Text
camp cloudtop: chapter sixteen
Long chapter yay! Also it turns out I can’t count the fic is gonna end up being 30 chapters even (if nothing changes). Please like and reblog if you are enjoying the story; I love reading all your tags/comments it makes my heart happy <3
Read more is for length only, nothing content based.
This can be found on ao3 as well.    
After a few days of whispers, a secret sign up sheet in Keyleth’s pocket, and a little bit of encouragement, Keyleth and Vax managed to get–at minimum–every group in the camp involved in the talent show; some campers and counselors had interest in doing their own acts too once they heard that was an option, and, hey, the more the merrier. 
“Wait, you guys are doing a bake sale?” Music filled the padded play room where the pre-school group resided for most of the day, but even still the idea of a bake sale made Pike, a small gnome with stark white hair and a badass scar down one side of her face, shout loud enough to be heard easily over it. 
“We are!” Keyleth couldn’t help but match her energy. “Do you bake?”
“Do I? Don’t even worry about that part of things; I’ve totally got you covered.” 
“Are you sure?” Vax leaned in, warm friendliness smiling across his features. “We’re happy to help.”
“Seriously, I’ve got it. Grog can be my sous chef. Right, Grog?”
“Sure thing, Pikey!” There was no way the half giant heard what they were saying with two toddlers climbing up his head and chest, but he gave a thumbs up anyway. 
“But, we do ask that you keep this a secret for now.”
“A secret? Why are we keeping it a secret?”
“We want it to be a surprise for Gilmore.” Keyleth glanced over at Vax who simply looked back; the lie that wasn’t entirely a lie had been working thus far. “We don’t want to make more work for him, and when he finds out he will definitely want to help.” 
Pike nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek for a second before her nodding intensified. “Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, I getcha. Just be sure to tell him before it happens! He’d do a great act for the talent show.”
Keyleth and Vax grinned. “Of course,” he said. “We definitely want him to be involved once it’s all ready.”
A little elven boy started to tug at Pike’s scarf that laid down her chest, and she jerked forward, laughing.
“Sorry guys, I think I’ve got to get back to the kiddos.” 
“No, yeah, sorry to keep you.” Keyleth gave the little boy a pat on the head and offered Pike and Grog a wave. “We’ll give you more details later! Thanks!”
With another wave, the two headed out of the pre-school room and started heading back toward the gym where their group was finishing up a round of dodgeball. 
“I can’t believe it’s been so easy,” Keyleth said, voice a bit more airy than usual as she kept herself quiet. She pulled the sign up sheet out of her pocket, placed it against her thigh as they walked, and added Pike and Grog’s names with a dash following, ‘BAKE SALE’, in all capital letters.
“I know. People really do love this camp. Or, at least they love Gilmore.” Vax scanned around them as Keyleth wrote on the list and put it away, keeping watch for anyone who could see. Luckily, he didn’t spot anybody. “I don’t think it hurts that you’re the one asking.” 
Keyleth had to laugh at that, pointing to herself. “Me? Nobody knows me; I’m brand new. If anything, they’re all taken by you and your charm.” 
Vax laughed too, though his was softer, less surprised. “I think you give me too much credit and don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You’re doing an amazing job with all of this. You can take some credit.” 
Keyleth’s eyes found her feet as her cheeks went red, hair–perhaps on purpose–falling forward to hide herself from Vax for a moment before she felt like she could speak without her voice cracking. “I’ll take some if you take some.”
He laughed again. “Deal.” 
                                                          X.X.X
Back in their familiar music room, Vax and Keyleth sat in a circle with their kids, watching all their little faces carefully as they mulled over the idea of the talent show. 
“We can do anything we want?”
“Anything within reason,” Vax said, but quickly shrugged. “But, for all intents and purposes, sure.” 
“Can we do the Macarena?”
“If you want to do the Macarena.” 
Tyne jumped up. “What about a concert? We can bring all the instruments from here!”
Keyleth pointed at him. “I like the way you’re thinking, Tyne. We have time to nail down our act, but what we really need to focus on today is that this is a secret, right? We’re not going to tell Director Gilmore. You can tell your parents because we want them to come, but we can’t talk about it when we’re not in this room, okay?”
“A secret,” Clemyn reiterated.
Vax nodded. “A secret. For now.” 
“Like Keyleth and Mr. Kash?”
Keyleth’s shoulders fell and her expression went blank for a moment before she sighed, resigned to the fact that kids really did know everything, and said, “Yeah.”
“Exactly like that,” Vax added, trying very hard not to laugh.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t tell anyone, Ms. Keyleth. Secrets are safe with me. And us. Right?”
The group responded with a resounding, “Yeah!”
“Alright,” Keyleth smiled, writing their group down on the sign up list. “I’m putting a lot of trust in you guys.”
“Don’t worry, Ms. Keyleth. The Golden Goldfish can keep secrets.” 
Both Vax and Keyleth’s eyes widened. “The Golden Goldfish?”
“Yeah! That’s our group name! Remember, you told us to come up with a group name?”
“No, yeah, group name. Right. And how did you guys come up with Golden Goldfish?”
Clemyn shrugged. “It just sounded cool.” 
Vax and Keyleth looked at each other, both of them now trying hard not to laugh. 
“Alright,” he started, and Keyleth finished, “The Golden Goldfish.” 
                                                         X.X.X
“You really won’t do anything?”
Keyleth, Vax, Vex, Kash, and Zahra all stood together against one of the walls of the cafeteria, half watching over their groups as they ate and half continuing to plan. 
“I’m not really much of a performance guy,” Kash said, folding his arms across his chest.
“You run a vlog,” Vex argued, matching his stance.
“That’s different from getting on a stage. Seriously, I don’t want to do it. I’ll do the vlogs and help promote it. I’ll stand at the door and collect money for admission. I’ll put glitter on the kids’ faces; I’ll do whatever else you want, but I’m not doing an act.” 
Keyleth frowned, her big green eyes even larger and greener than usual in a silent attempt to get Kash to change his mind. “What happened to ‘anything for you, babe’?”
He just rolled his eyes. “Please stop. I’m not doing it.” 
Keyleth huffed and sighed in defeat. “Fine. I will give you other jobs, though, now that you mention it.” 
“Hey!” The group looked up to see Percy speed walking toward them, a leather messenger bag strapped across his chest, the bag part bumping against his hip. 
“Hey,” he said again when he reached everyone, softer this time and a bit out of breath.
“Did you run over here?” Zahra asked, chuckling.
“No. Maybe. It doesn’t matter. I was doing some research on the Briarwoods,” he looked over at Keyleth, and she noticed his eyes were frantic, unusual for him. “They’re from Whitestone.”
“Your hometown?” Vex leaned into their little circle. 
Percy nodded. “They’re not ‘from’ there; I would’ve recognized them most likely if that were the case, but it seems they settled there after my family died and worked their way up the social ladder. They’re not just Deliliah and Sylas Briarwood. They’re Lord and Lady Briarwood. I can’t figure out why I’ve never heard their names before. After the day’s over I’m going to make some calls back home and see what they can tell me.” 
“Percy?” Keyleth almost raised her hand, but she fought the urge. “Um, what happened to your family? If you don’t mind–”
He shook his head. “No, it’s fine.” He cleared his throat, then spoke very matter of factly, like he was reading facts off a trivia page. “We came to Emon on a week-long vacation. We were all in the car one night, and we got into an accident. A bad accident. Cassandra and I were the only survivors. They think it’s because we were asleep. Limp bodies help with lesser injuries.” 
Keyleth reached over and took his hand. “I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for telling us.” 
He nodded with no hint of a smile, and cleared his throat again. “I’ll let you know what I hear from Whitestone.” 
                                                         X.X.X
Keyleth was exhausted by the time the day came to an end, her feet aching against the pavement as her and Kash walked out toward the parking lot. She still had a smile on her face, however, as her hand laid over the nearly full sign up sheet pressed against her thigh in her pocket. 
“You look exhausted,” Kash said with a light laugh. “You want a ride home?”
Keyleth thought for a second, but ultimately shook her head. “No thanks. I’m gonna take my own way this time. It gets me there faster,” she admitted. 
“The tree, right?” 
Keyleth’s lips curled into each other as her neck grew warm, and she shrugged. 
“How does that work? Like, what are you doing? It’s some kind of magic, but magic I’ve never seen before.” 
Keyleth turned to look at the tree and then back at Kash. “Oh, it’s really complicated and hard to explain. I don’t–” It wasn’t really that hard to explain–she was using the tree as a portal to another tree–but there weren’t too many druids running around the city; when she first got to Emon she used her magic more openly, but after some teasing names and taunts by city folk she started keeping it to herself. “I’ll tell you another time. When I’m not as tired, okay?”
Kash’s eyes narrowed at her, but he ultimately didn’t press. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” 
Keyleth managed a smile. “Yeah, I know. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Dinner at six, right?”
She nodded.
He smiled. “See you tomorrow.” 
Keyleth waited for Kash to get into his car and drive off before she turned and headed to her tree, happy to be welcomed by the warm embrace of her backyard as she walked through. 
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chippedaxe · 3 years
Text
Shower Sex Hc's
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Title: Shower Sex Hc's
Warnings: NSFW (Minors DNI), shower sex, coarse language, degrading names may be used, hair pulling, stomach bulge, orgasm denial etc.. (unedited btw)
Pronouns: They/Them non specified genitalia
Synopsis: Headcanons of how sex in the shower with these Mcyt's would go!
Word count: 2.2k
Note: No one requested this but it was an idea that needed to be written! This might be a very long post..
* I'm also still writing everyone's request, pls just be patient <3
If there’s any warnings that I’ve missed/ tags I need to fix/ anything in the fic that needs fixing then pls let me know !!
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c! Dream
- You were standing with your front facing the water, your eyes were closed and your face was buried in water. You were just trying to wash all the dirt off your skin when you suddenly got spooked, a large hand came up and caressed your side which made you jump a little "Huh??" you turned around and saw your hunky boyfriend there "Sorry, did I scare you?" He laughed at your shocked reaction.
"What're you doing in here?? I'm showering!" you exclaimed "So am I! What a coincidence!" He kissed your cheek and rubbed circles into your hips "Dream.. I'm trying to be clean!" you pushed him off you and he faked being hurt "Ouch.. You really hurt my feelings, what did I do to deserve this?" he gasped dramatically "Oh you shut up, you big baby!" you laugh at his silly antics.
Dream offers to wash your back for you and you reluctantly agree "No weird stuff?" you seem suspicious of his behavior "Weird stuff? From me? Never!" he scoffed at you, you already knew that you had made a mistake when he had said that. He squirted some liquid soap into his hand and began to run his hands over your back, it feels like a nice massage until he starts to get even lower.. His hands move down so they're now groping at your butt "Dream, that's a bit low" you growl at him.
"You've got me there, dear!" he chuckles as he continues to gently massage your ass "Are you seriously this horny? You can't even wait for me to clean up before touching me?" You furrowed your eyebrows "I'm horny for you, baby" Dream kissed you and wrapped his arms around your torso. You kissed him back and then moved your hands to feel up his chest, one hand slowly making its way down toward his stomach "You're so good to me, dear, couldn't have anyone better than you.." Dream huffed into your ear.
You took his cock in your hand and you pumped it a few times just so it'd get hard and then you slowly pushed it inside of you, you gasped as it stretched you out and made your legs shake "Oh fuck!" Dream groaned "H- hold me!" you dug your nails into his back as he started to thrust into you. You were already so close to cumming with how he was just railing into you "C- cumming!" you squealed "Already? Fuck! Me too!" Dream bit down on the back of his hand and started fucking you faster "Ah!" you came on his cock.
c! Sapnap
- You walked into the bathroom and saw the outline of Sapnap's figure through the curtain, you bit your lip and began to undress hastily. You dropped your pants to the ground and carefully snuck into the shower behind Sapnap, he didn't even notice until your hands snaked up to caress his chest "Ah.. Baby.." he softly moans as you rub his chest "Mind if I shower with you?" you smile.
“Just showering?" Sapnap smirked "Maybe not just showering" you blushed as you imagined what was going to come, "come here and I'll wash your body for you" Sapnap kissed your forehead. You moved towards him and passed the soap, Sapnap lathered his hands in soap before running his rough hands over your skin.
You let out a hitched moan when his hands brushed over your nipples, he let one of his hands travel down your stomach and to your nether regions "You're already wet? But baby, you didn't go under the water" Sapnap laughed "Don't tease me or I'll dry off and go take care of this myself" you hissed "You're right, sorry baby" he continued his actions and moved his hand to slowly finger you. You whined softly as his fingers thrusted in and out of you gently, your hips bucked against him and you started to grind yourself against his hand but he then pulled out without warning.
You whimpered and cried "Sap!" you pouted, he bent you over slightly and then lined himself up with your hole. You bit your lip in pleasure when he finally pushed in, he grunted as you clenched around his cock "Shit.. Baby, you feel so good!" Sapnap threw his head back and drilled into your sweet hole. You held onto the wall so that you didn't slip in the shower, you moved your hips against his, your free hand flew to cover your mouth.
His cock was absolutely wrecking you and you didn't wanna have to explain your screams of pleasure to the neighbors, Sapnap leaned forward and bit down lightly into your shoulder. You gasped and came with that action, Sapnap came not too long after. "Let's actually get clean now, aye?" Sapnap teased but then quickly had to catch you as your wobbly legs gave way.
c! George
- You offered to shower with George and he hesitated at first "What? Why would we shower together for? We have two bathrooms" George was confused "I could wash your back, maybe wash a little more.." you suggested "Like what?" George still didn't get the idea so you decided to just join him the next time he was showering. You threw your shirt over your head and wiggled off your pants, you then pulled back the curtain to reveal a scared and embarrassed George.
"H- Hey! This showers taken!!" George blushed and turned away "I know, I wanted to shower with you, is that okay?" you give him a hug and your naked bodies press together for just a moment "I- I guess!" George pries you off him and tries to hide away in the corner "George baby, don't you want me to wash you?" you pursed your lips together "I can do that myself!" George exclaimed "I could do it for you though.. I promise I'll be extra gentle" you smile up at him.
George groans and lets you do what you wish, you squeal and cover your hands in soap. You rub his arms first, you bite your lip as you subtly squeeze at his muscly forearm, you then start to caress and wash his torso and chest "George, you're so pretty" you coo as you rinse off the soap. You turn George around and then you start to get on your knees "What're you doing?" George asked you, you moved your hair out of the way and looked up at him "What does it look like? Cleaning you, dummy!" you smiled.
"H-hey no! I know you're doing something lewd!" George cried out as you gave the tip of his cock a little kiss, he grew hard right away and you grinned "You can tell me now if you want me to stop.." you tease him "N- no" George begins to speak "Aw, I've been forcing you into this.." you tease further and begin to stand up to leave but George unexpectedly pushes you down "Suck it" he growls, your eyes go wide at his sudden dominance.
You listen to him immediately, your lips parting and letting his cock push into your mouth. You suck on him gently and you let your tongue swirl around the tip "Fuck, that's real good.." George's hand travels to your hair and he carefully starts to guide your mouth, he wants to fuck your face so bad but he'll hold out on doing that. "Gonna cum.. Gonna shoot my seed down your throat, baby" George grunted and came into your mouth.
You swallowed his cum and pulled off his penis, you looked up at him and wiped your mouth "You think you can get away with teasing me? Get your ass over here and try not to slip" he stared you down.
c! Karl
- Karl wasn’t taking a shower and he was starting to really smell worry you a lot, you came up from behind and hugged him but pulled away when you smelt his odd scent “baby? Why’d you pull away?” He turned around “I wanted to ask if you’d like to shower with me!” You came up with an idea to get him to finally bathe.
“Shower with you? I’m not sure about that, our shower can be a bit cramped” Karl thought to himself “then I guess we’re gonna have to stand pretty close..” you hinted to him, his face blushed a bright red when he figured out what you meant “alright! W- we can do that!” Karl’s voice cracked as he agreed.
You met him in the bathroom, he was already in the shower and waiting for you. You pulled off your outfit of the day and then jumped in behind him, your hands both quickly reacting and covering both his mouth and his cock. He started to moan and whine as your hand pumped his cock “hmmmhn!” His voice was muffled by your hand.
“Baby, gonna cum?” You tease as your hand strokes him a little faster. He nods his head and humps your hand a little bit as he gets closer and closer, you then pull away just as he’s about to cum. “H-Huh??” He’s all whiny and pouting when you move your hands “only clean boys are allowed to cum, clean yourself smelly” you tease him.
c! Punz
- He asked you if you wanted to come shower with him, you had already known the sexual consequences of accepting his offer and you had accepted. Punz had bad intentions with you, he walked into the bathroom and started to strip himself immediately whilst you stood there and watched him "Aren't you gonna undress?" he glanced towards you "oh uh.. Yeah!" you gulped and took your clothes off.
- You got into the shower with him and he started to rinse himself off under the water "Aren't you gonna come here and get wet?" his words even sounded lewd, you shyly made your way over and got under the water. The water ran down your bodies "The water isn't on you properly, get closer like this" he pulls you in so now you two are basically entwined. Your crotch is brushing up against his and you're questioning how he isn't hard yet, you start to slowly grind up on him and you hope that he doesn't notice.
"Look at you being a whore, trying to get off when I was just trying to have a nice shower with you?" He teased, his hand reaching down to toy with your little hole. You whined against his slightly touches "ah.. Please fuck me.." you pawed at his body and he stood there nonchalantly. "You think you deserve it? I was just trying to shower and you started touching me" Punz teased you and crossed his arms.
You nodded desperately “fine, but you have to clean me up!” Punz pretends as if this wasn’t what he had planned, his cock was already hard from the moment he entered the bathroom. You bent over and allowed him to thrust his huge dick inside of you, you gasped and moaned out in pleasure as he was already going rough.
Punz dug his hands into your hip as his balls slapped your ass, his thrusting was making your legs hurt and your stomach bulge. You held onto your tummy and covered your mouth as you felt yourself already about to cum, you warned Punz by tapping the wall “g-hnnn..” your legs shook and you almost fell over when you had came.
c! Eret
- Eret joined you in the shower, her hands washing your hair carefully which made you go into a more blissful mood. You crooked your head back as she gently tugged, you moaned softly when he pulled on your hair by accident "sorry!" you shut your mouth and hoped he wouldn't tease you over that. "Did I hurt you??" Eret asked with a bit of a teasing undertone "N- no, that didn't hurt-" you began to say "Oh, so it felt good?" Eret smirked, you lowered your head and didn't answer.
Eret pulled on your hair again which made you let out a high pitched squeal "Ah!" it sounded almost pornographic, Eret chuckled lightly "I was just trying to wash your hair and here you are making my cock all hard" they showed off their hardened penis. You gulped nervously as you took in his length "shit" you thought to yourself "I'm sorry, please be gentle with me!" you pleaded "You say that as if I'm not normally gentle with you" Eret laughs.
Eret's hands squeeze your hips for a moment before lifting one of your legs up, she then slid their penis inside of your hole "Ah! Fuck!" you howled in pleasure "Does it feel good, baby?" Eret thrusted harshly inside of you. You nod your head as you're trying to keep your noises down "Why don't you speak up?" Eret teased as he started to thrust harder "Ah! F- Fuck! Eret! Eret! Eret!" you put your hands on the wall so that you wouldn't slip, you bit down on your lip as you found it harder to stay quiet.
"FUCK! I'm CUMMING!" you couldn't conceal your screams of pleasure as you came all over their cock, your hole clenched around him and she ended up coming just after you.
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1K notes · View notes
mrskurono · 3 years
Text
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title: Bet Me || domming the Seijoh Grads
a/n: anon who gave me this idea, I thought FOREVER about how to execute this and I just like- this happened while taking a shower ok. Iwa had it coming to him being the alpha dog
word count: 2.7k 
tags: dom!reader, group sex (mmmmf), established relationship (on Oikawa’s end), bondage, handjob, slight degradation, edging, cockwarming, ruined orgasm, masturbation (male), oral( male and female), rimjob, cucking, male on male (penetration +oral), anal creampie, cocky Oikawa, brat taming Iwa, slightly dacraphilia, safe word mention (unused) petnames, uh probably something else but c’mon its fucking smut, unedited
character(s): Oikawa Tooru (hq), Hajime Iwaizumi (hq) Takahiro Hanamaki (hq) Issei Matsukawa (hq)
heavy nsfw undercut ⇾ ⇾ ⇾
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Tooru ran his mouth like a bullet train.
No one took him seriously when he toted about how amazing you were. Claiming you to be the best. Which, to Iwa’s, Makki’s and Mattsun’s surprise, that was notably a lot coming from the ladies man himself. Tooru’s taste in women came like his coffee order did, sweet and sweeter. So when the man came sporting some glamorous little bruises on his torso. Well, that lead to a bit of a bet.
“This won’t work.” Iwa scoffed at the idea, nearly rolling his eyes out of his head when the last bit of rope was secure, “She can’t do it since Shittykawa is just a wimp of course he cums easily!”
“You gonna bet me for that huh baby?” Standing above the man who was now tied at your feet seemed to leave you in a pretty domineering position now over him. Iwa wouldn’t give it up though. He was certain you couldn’t edge him until he cried.
If Iwa cried, then the bet was in your favor. Makki and Mattsun would without a doubt bow to your ability. Seeing though as no one had bested their friend since high school, neither of them saw much potential besides maybe a fun circle jerk out of this. Tooru on the other hand was nearly vibrating out of his own skin with excitement for the occasion.
“You’re gonna eat those words you know Iwa!” Tooru grinning. His best friend really had no idea what he was in store for. And he wasn’t going to tell him either.
Rolling your eyes you wave your boyfriend away and kneel down in front of the bulky athletic trainer. Searching his face. Paying almost no attention to his half a hard on even now, and you simply smile at him, “No kissing. And the safe word is teal, yeah?”
Iwa rolled his eye once more, “Yeah ok.”
Mattsun and Makki elbowed each other with a bit of a giggle between the two of them. They didn’t think you could do it but were certainly glad to not be in Iwa’s shoes. Only arms tired behind his back, Iwa was left in a precarious position when your hand ghosted over his cock.
Feathery touch of your fingertips down his thick shaft and Iwa scoffed. An offhanded comment about if that was the best you got then you should just jerk him off. Instead you let his words fall on deaf ears. Smiling as you took your hand away. Earning all eyes on you as you reached for what was simply a regular bottle of lube. 
Drizzling it over Iwa’s cock until it ran down his shaft and between his balls to drip on the ground at his feet. You really had everyone’s attention now that his cock was slimy with lube and untouched. The peanut gallery snickered. Tooru said something in a husky mumble. But it was clear all three men were beginning to palm themselves through their pants. Iwa on the other hand, held firm that this would just be another handjob.
Which in reality you suppose it was. Your work slow and methodical. Wasn’t long before you realized Iwa was enjoying himself. Fingers dancing up and down his cock. The squelch of the lube when you squeezed his tip. Watching him roll his head back and savor the simple movement. Really besides his arms being tied behind his back this was all about to end like a normal handjob. 
That was, until the first stringy bits of precum dripped from Iwa’s cock.
“Fuck- Right there-” His low guttural moan. 
Indulgent and self centered. Iwa was about to cum and not a tear in sight. Even Makki and Mattsun who now shamelessly were jerking themselves off weren’t surprised by the outcome. But like he knew something they didn’t, Tooru had his hands off himself. Completely. Only those brown eyes set forward and fixated on your hands like he was waiting for you to do something.
“You gonna cum baby?” Your fingers working magic up and down his cock. 
Iwa nodded. He wasn’t even paying attention. The handjob was hot but all eyes on him while he was going to win seemed to fuel him even more. You could feel his cock twitch in your hand. Carefully you watched until his balls tightened and then you did it. Exactly what Tooru knew you’d do.
Hand smashed to the top of Iwa’s cock before he could say anything. Your strokes stopped completely. Replaced by a firm grip and your opposing hand feverishly rubbing your palm in circles over his slit. Iwa had no time to react. The overstim right into too much making his entire body twitch and convulse. He doubled over but could not escape. The bindings he strained against didn’t give way. And your hand didn’t stop with it’s cruel motions. Nothing he did could make him escape the pins and needles of pleasure cascading through his body on overdrive.
“Give up? Too much baby? Huh you not gonna cum? Baby wanted to cum though. Where’s all that big boy talk now, Hajime?” Your words sweet in tone and evil in context. Iwa was coming undone in front of everyone he knew. Makki and Mattsun had stopped stroking themselves entirely. Wide eyed at the sight as Tooru was giggling and palming himself finally to his slight relief. His queen was going to win the bet. He just knew you would.
“-‘s much-” Iwa croaked, body trembling under your touch.
“What? I can’t hear you?” Your hand only slick with precum and the lube off his cock, “Come now, I wanna see all your sweet milk spill out~ Won’t you do that for me Hajime?”
Iwa grunted, bucked his hips and gritted his teeth. His orgasm was being forcibly taken from him but still not a tear to spare. As he twitched and shifted his hips up he was certain this would come crashing into an orgasm. Building quicker and quicker by the passing second. He forgot to care if everyone around him was even jerking off to the sight of him anymore. Iwa gasped just when his orgasm was tipping to no return.
“That’s enough.”
Iwa gasped. Mattsun and Makki gasped. Tooru giggled.
Your hand completely removed from Iwa’s cock. All men witnessed the cruelest thing to date. Iwa’s cock bouncing, in desperation, with one exact bead of white cum oozing from his slit. You just ruined Iwaizumi’s orgasm and they all watched you do it.
“No! Don’t stop! Idiot! K-Keep doing it! Keep moving I- I just- I wanna cum!!” Iwa’s pleas fell from his mouth. Ending with his voice cracking as his orgasm tightened around him but just wouldn’t be released. You sat smug in front of him and when his voice cracked he knew it was all over.
You won.
“Shit....” Mattsun mumbled, fixated on Iwa’s poor cock standing so abused and hard.
“Man....that’s....wow.” Makki, still grabbing at his cock, couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“Told you guys so~” Tooru sung your praise more than happy to see both his friends adamant that what they saw wasn’t something they wished on anyone. Especially themselves.
“So.” You stood up, hand covered in slickness mixed with Iwa’s precum and looked at Mattsun and Makki, “Anyone else think I’m a liar?”
Quickly they shook their heads. 
“Good.” You smiled sweetly. Fixing to pull your panties off right away and throw them between Iwa’s legs still bound in front of you. On full display the natural juices clinging to your thighs with how wet you’d gotten on this little bet. So now you figured no one was going to argue with you, it was your turn for some relief, “Makki, come here.”
Eyes wide he looked at Tooru. Who grinned and nodded for him to do as you said.
Sheepish of the same treatment. He knew a bet was a bet. Undoubtedly you were proclaimed alpha and did as you asked.
“Sit for me yeah?” You point across from Iwa.
Makki swallowed hard but listened. He didn’t want the same outcome as Iwa. When he’d sat down you grab a fistful of his hair and pull him into your ass, “Lick me up a little. I don’t wanna sit on your cock this wet.”
Obediently Makki liked this outcome much more. His tongue swiping over your thighs and lapping at your juices with no questions asked. If he heard you right, sitting on his cock was next in line.
“Tooru baby,” You cooed at your boyfriend, “Mattsun looks awfully hard. Maybe you should take care of him?”
While you pulled Makki’s face into you more, letting him lick you clean in front of Iwa. You take pride in seeing how well your boyfriend drops to his knees to take his friends cock. Mattsun certainly as big as some of the toys you make sweet Tooru gag on. It’s within no time that he has him down his throat. Brown eyes looking up at Mattsun as his cheeks hollow out and he goes to town sucking him like a good boy. Allowing you to enjoy yourself a bit more.
“Alright thank you, Makki,” You pull his face away, coated in your juices and a bit of a dazed look. Adding to the bliss on the man’s face when you finally seat yourself on his cock. Makki’s hands going right to your hips, “Ah ah ah, don’t move. Unless you wanna end up like Iwa huh?”
“Y-Yes ma’am-” Makki stutters with the right amount of fear not to try you on it. Iwa is still left bound in front of you with his cock head purple and aching as it twitches against the air for some kind of relief.
When you wiggle yourself comfortably on Makki’s cock. Moaning softly and spreading your legs so Iwa can see his friend’s cock buried inside you. You click your tongue at Iwa to make him look at you.
Drawing a finger up your slit and teasing your own clit, you smile at Iwa, “Bet you wish you hadn’t lost huh? Wishing you were stuffing my cunny with that cock right about now? Instead, only seeing sweet Makki stretch me out and how hard my clit is. Bet I could cum like this. On his cock that is.”
Iwa licked his lips. How desperate he was to cum. You were absolutely right, Iwa desperately wanted to be Makki, “.....please.”
“Please what?” You asked, reaching your wet fingers back to stuff in Makki’s mouth, “Suck baby.”
Makki listened well. Tongue washing over your fingers to eat your juices up as he relished the feeling of his cock inside you after all this. He wasn’t about to screw this up.
Hanging his head low Iwa internalized his growl and finally spoke up, “....please...let me taste you.”
“That’s a good boy,” You use your foot to tilt his head up towards you. Making him face you but when that smile widened Iwa’s stomach tightened, “But first, Tooru~”
Popping his lips off Mattsun’s cock, your boyfriend turned towards you. Seeing you motion him over. Tooru hated to leave what he was doing but was more curious about what you could want.
“Love, do you think you could take Mattsun?” You ask sweetly.
Tooru blushed at the idea, “I mean...yeah...with a little prep I could-”
“Say no more,” You wave his words away and look to Iwa, “Prep him for me will you baby?”
Giddy at the idea. Tooru didn’t waste anytime getting on his knees. Hips pushed back towards Iwa and Tooru bringing his face inches from your core. Not allowed to taste you but where he could vividly see Makki’s cock stuffed in you. 
Perhaps it was the grogginess of a ruined orgasm. Or the fact he was desperate to cum at this point. But there was no hesitation when Iwa pressed his tongue against Tooru. Earning a lewd moan from his best friend that fueled him. Finding himself so hard at the idea of Tooru pressing back on his face as Iwa tongued him.
“Mmm there, does Iwa’s tongue feel good love?” You caress his face as your free hand plays with your clit. Makki not moving as you ordered but his hands certainly didn’t seem to count as he groped and fondled your breast.
“S-So good-” Tooru moaned. His labored breathing and cock hanging between his legs as Iwa ate him out was a beautiful sight. One that wouldn’t last long though.
“Can you take Mattsun now?” You asked sweetly of him. Tooru nodded. He didn’t want to lose Iwa’s tongue but he knew the next thing would be better. So you looked to Mattsun with an inquisitive look.
“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” Mattsun ready to stuff his cock in anything a this point.
You watched in pure bliss as you saw Tooru straddle his friend like he did you so often. Instead of sliding down on a toy though. You watched Mattsun’s enormous cock disappear in his ass. Tooru’s stomach tensing until he relaxed and the brown haired man sighed in relief.
“Feel good?” You asked the both of them.
Hardly a response though as Mattsun and Tooru ended up in their own little world. Fucking only mere feet from you. Makki’s cock buried in you as you lazily played with your clit. Leaving Iwa out of it.
“Please...” He stooped as low as to beg, “...Please let me taste at least.”
Feeling generous and like it would be a nice change. You indulge him. Allowing Iwa to finally get a little something even though he was the loser.
“Make me cum before Mattsun fills Tooru and I’ll let you cockwarm next time~” 
Iwa didn’t need to be told twice. Diving between your legs to find your clit instantly. His tongue working overtime as you leaned back into Makki. Making the man hold you and catching his lips. He was a good boy who wasn’t moving so kissing him was the least you could do. 
As instructed Iwa was an expert with his tongue. Giving your clit all of his attention. Sadly thought he wasn’t privy to winning this either. Glancing over at the other two soon assure you of that. The way Mattsun gripped Tooru’s hips. Cum drooling out of Tooru’s cock for lord only knows how long now. And the way Mattsun’s brows pinched in the middle and hips stalled meant Iwa lost once more.
Unsurprisingly the two men had to catch their breath. Mattsun pulling out and a flood of cum following. Tooru being a good boy when you told him not to waste any and he scooped up Mattsun’s cum and pushed it back inside himself. Fingering himself as Iwa’s tongue began doing the trick when your hand found his hair and your grip tightened.
First a wonderful little tickle until finally you were leaning back into Makki groaning with a shudder. No real movement save for the ripple of your cushiony cunt walls around his cock. After all this Makki wasn’t going to complain. Even as Iwa’s tongue glided over his shaft a few times in desperation to keep you cumming on his tongue. 
Neither men cared when your orgasm was in full swing. Your cunt tightening around Makki until he had no choice but to double over into you. Holding you tight as his cock throbbed inside you and his balls emptied every last drop of cum into your well deserving pussy. Even Iwa not caring as he did his job to ride out your orgasm and some of Makki’s excess cum drooling out around him and Iwa licking it up like a good boy. Focused on your hand in his hair until he knew he’d done his job when your grip slowly loosened and finally released him completely.
Satisfied but not letting Makki go anywhere just yet. Which he didn’t mind. Tooru crawled over to you. Kissing you with the faint taste of Mattsun’s cock on his lips and certainly his cum still dripping down his inner thighs. Tooru smiled against you before nuzzling his face against yours.
“Aye wait-” Iwa, still the only one who hadn’t came yet, huffed and looked around.
No one said a thing. Makki spared you a look by hiding his face in your neck like Tooru. Mattsun looked your way and didn’t say anything to his friend. And Tooru simply kept kissing your neck without a care. None of them were going to go against your wishes making you smile at Iwa, “Well, maybe next time you’ll know better than to bet against me now won’t you?”
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deancasbigbang · 3 years
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Title: The Birds and the Ts
Author: DoctorProfessorSong / you-cant-spell-subtext-without (team)
Artist: Jay
Rating: Explicit
Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Endverse Castiel/Dean Smith, Twitter Intern (OC based on Reese from Just my Imagination ep. 11x8)/Tumblr Staff (OC based on Harper Sayles from Optimism ep. 14x6); Sam Winchester/Eileen, Rowena McLeod/Bela Talbot (background), Castiel/OC (brief); Castiel/Mick Davies (references only), Castiel/multipartners (references only).
Length: 120000
Warnings: No major archive warnings apply. Drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism, disordered eating, anxiety attacks, vomiting in one scene, death mention (of OC character and one canon-compliant death mention), homophobia/biphobia mentions.
Tags: angst with a happy ending, AU our world without COVID, crack taken seriously, Destiel is canon, exhibitionism, Season 16/post-finale chaos, so much meta goodness, sex with your ex, flashbacks to established relationship.
Posting Date: October 27, 2021
Summary: Dean Smith is a workaholic, buried alive in his career as a high-ranking corporate executive at Twitter. Cas Novak largely avoids his obligations at Tumblr, preferring instead to focus on his own carnal and chemical pursuits. When Destiel goes canon and throws both sites into disarray, Dean’s intern, Reese, and Cas's assistant, Harper, find themselves fed up trying to balance the chaos with their two bosses' inconvenient lifestyles. But a conversation with Cas's bestie, Meg, gives them an idea. What if they set their bosses up?  Maybe their opposing worldviews will balance out and there will finally be peace. What they don't know is that the men are such a mess because they are both mourning a break-up. With each other. Will these two dumbasses use their words and realize they are the perfect endgame? And what of the budding relationship between Harper and Reese? Two love stories in one, all signed, sealed, and delivered as a love letter to the fans riding out this unparalleled media experience.
Excerpt: “Fuck, this is so goddamned stupid.  Listen, I swear I’m fine. Okay? I just - haven’t been in the same room with him. Since.” Dean rubs his face in his hands, embarrassed by even this small admission.   “Have you tried talking to him?” Charlie prods. “I mean really talking to him. You two had something special.”  She pauses, glancing back toward the bar where Cas is licking a line of salt from his forearm.   Charlie regards the spectacle wisely, then shrugs at Dean. “Pretty clear neither of you is over it.”   Dean shakes his head derisively. “He doesn't care. He never cared, Charlie.”   Charlie tilts her head. “You think he’s pounding the tequila because it’s fun? He’s looked over here between every shot just to make sure you’re still watching the performance.”   Dean’s eyes swivel back towards Cas to find twin blue pools reflecting his gaze. Cas quickly looks away, gulping down another swallow of liquor.   Dean’s suddenly exhausted. Enough.   “Nah. It’s over, Charlie.” The bands around his chest constrict. He takes a few breaths. Charlie’s hand is on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze “You’re a dumbass, Dean Smith, but I love you.” “I know.” Dean teases back, a small smile tugging at his mouth. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Harper isn't understanding. Reese frowns, searching for the words to clarify. "Okay, so get this. You complain Cas is too disorganized and chaotic, right?"   Harper nods slowly.   Okay, they’re getting warmer. Good.   Reese takes a long pull of her wine, making a smacking sound in satisfaction at the end. "Right!" She exclaims triumphantly. "And I complain that Dean needs to chill the fuck out."   Harper hums in agreement, smiling behind her glass. The quick upward tick of her lips makes Reese’s heart stutter and, for a moment, her mind goes blank.   Where was she? Right.   "So, what if we set them up? We, like, Parent Trap them."   Harper’s head tilts, her eyes narrowing with confusion. "Reese, I don't think that your memory of that movie is quite accurate."   Reese throws her hands up dramatically. “Okay, fine - we Cyrano de Bergerac them, then.”   Harper raises an eyebrow. “Name-dropping the classics?  Color me impressed.”   Reese rolls her eyes.  "What? I read. Anyway, you know what I mean. If they're happy, we're happy. No more late nights because Dean has no life. No more office orgies and all-night ragers because Cas is...well, Cas."   Reese does triumphant jazz hands that say look at me, I'm a genius.   Harper’s grin is back, and it’s fucking sunshine after a freak summer rainstorm. Reese feels a tiny thrill in her chest.   "Reese, that is absolutely ridiculous. You know that, right?"  Amusement laces Harper’s voice despite her intended cautious syllables.   She pauses.  Reese waits, drumming her fingertips impatiently on the glass. "I mean, we're absolutely gonna do it though." Harper says conspiratorially.
DCBB 2021 Posting Schedule
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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Tuesday
Monday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday
Spotify Playlist (collaborative)
Warnings: anxiety, doctor’s offices, taking pain pills (not sure if I need to tag that, but just in case), stalkers, blackmail, swearing, non-consensual taking pics of nudes, slight body dysmorphia, self-loathing, toxic friends
Word count: 5,326
(A/N): another long chapter, my little wlw heart loved writing this chapter! Also holy shit I was not expecting the first part to blow up, thank you to everyone that read it! Gosh, it’s enough to make a grown woman cry :’)
You cracked open your crusty eyes to Wilbur poking his head into your room. “(Y/n), Dad wants you.”
You groaned rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out of them. “I’ll be down in a sec.” Your voice was scratchy and thick with sleep.
He closed the door silently and you heard his socked feet thumping down the hallway. Your pain faded slightly into soreness, but your shoulders and upper back were slightly stiff. After you drug yourself out of bed, you shambled down the stairs to see your family at the table eating breakfast. Your stomach growled loudly, making you blush slightly in embarrassment. 
Your eldest brother snorted. “Hungry (y/n)?”
You slumped into your seat next to him slowly shoveling food into your mouth. “You have no idea.”
“You wouldn’t be that hungry if you ate dinner when you got home like I told you to do last night, young lady. You better eat every single thing on that plate.”
There was no arguing with a stern Dadza, so you reluctantly complied. Meanwhile, Tommy and Tubbo were telling Wilbur about your match animatedly. 
“And the ball was like fwoosh and she- the ball and-and-”
“And she hit it and Haley hit it to the other side! It was so cool!”
Wilbur merely smiled listening to them ramble about how badass you were last night. They made you feel genuinely happy that they admired your volleyball abilities; they were probably your biggest fans and that made your day most of the time. You remembered the first match they came to during your freshman year, they had run up to you right after the end-of-match whistle blew to spew about how good you were on the court. They met the team that day. Your team adored having them at your games, over the years they slowly replaced your school’s mascot. They played a huge part in morale boosts before and during matches. 
He looked over to you, “I didn’t know my little sister could be so badass.”
You felt your cheeks flare up. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. It really wasn’t anything special.”
“(Y/n),” Philza pursed his lips, “you did all that with a bruised back, I’d consider that something special.”
“Wait (y/n), you’re hurt?” Tommy and Tubbo looked at you with wide concerned eyes.
“Yeah, but it’s not that bad. I can still move and stuff.”
Techno rolled his eyes, “it’s bad if you’re going to the doctor for it.”
“Eh, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did yesterday, so I’m not worried.” 
“You’re deadass wincing everytime you move your arm,” WIlbur deadpanned, “it clearly still hurts.”
“Well yeah, I didn’t say the pain went away completely. Fuckin’ dumbass.”
“Language,” Philza glared at you two, gesturing to the two fifth graders watching the exchange with interest. 
You and Wilbur resumed eating and murmured out a defeated “sorry Dad.” You both glared at Techno when he huffed in amusement. 
“If you three keep bickering, you’re going to be late to school. Remember, you two have to drop off Tommy and Tubbo today cuz I’m taking your sister to her appointment. Now go get ready, I’ll take care of your dishes.”
Your brothers took off up the stairs, each competing to get to the bathroom first. Occasionally, you would hear shouts and slapping noises. You felt glad you didn’t have to deal with that today. Judging by Techno’s gruff voice laughing and an explosion of loud complaints from the rest, you assumed that he won today. “I swear, they’re gonna put me in an early grave.”
“You and me both Dad, you and me both.”
You went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of pain pills from the junk drawer. Various bottles of Motrin and Advil were scattered around the house because when you live with a rambunctious family like this one, people are bound to get hurt and headaches are common. Popping three into your mouth, you washed it down with a glass of water. The sound of the running water faucet and the slight splashing of water filled the silence of the room. 
“How’s your back? Does it feel any better?”
“Kinda, today it just feels more sore than throbbing, my headache went away mostly, and my shoulder doesn’t feel any worse, so that’s better I guess.”
He shut off the water and reached for a towel to dry off his wet hands. He moved over to the freezer and grabbed a frozen package of peas that your family never ate. You all used it whenever one of you would get a bruise. He moved behind you and held it against your back without warning. Flinching forward from the unexpected temperature change, you winced with the wave of pain moving brought you. 
“Shit, sorry.”
“You’re good. Just give me a little warning next time,” you chuckled. He gently placed it back on your back and you sighed from the slight relief that it brought you. You leaned into the peas and closed your eyes. “That feels amazing.”
“I bet. That bruise was pretty bad yesterday, can I look at it again?”
You reluctantly left the sanctuary that was the medical grade frozen peas and leaned forward, moving your hair out of the way for him. “Knock yourself out.”
He made a hissing noise as soon as he moved your shirt out of the way. “Dad, it probably looks worse than it feels.”
“...Have you seriously not looked at this yet? It looks pretty bad, hun.”
“Well, sorry I can’t move to look at my back without being in pain. I’ll try harder next time.” You snarked him.
“Hey, watch the attitude. Here, I’ll take a picture so you can see how bad it is.”
You heard the rustling of fabric as he fished his phone out of his pocket and the obnoxiously loud click of his camera app. You turned around to look at the damage. You squinted at his bright phone screen. Your entire back was swollen in some areas and was covered in ugly reds, blues, blacks, and purples. You made a disgusted noise in the back of your throat and cringed away from the screen. You always got nauseous seeing injuries.
“Yikes.”
“Yikes isn’t the only word I would use, it’s bad (y/n).”
“It looks worse than it feels, I promise. I’m gonna go get ready so we’re not late to my appointment. It sounds like the boys are finally done with the bathroom.”
You hobbled up the stairs slowly and made your way to the bathroom. The door was wide open ready for you to use. Turning on the light, you closed the door in a hurry so that your brothers wouldn’t try to get in again to hog the bathroom like they usually did. You frowned at your appearance. Your hair was sticking up in every direction and you had dark eye bags around your dull looking eyes. A few pimples dotted your skin like constellations in the night sky, but much uglier and more out of place. Turning your body, you scanned your figure. Your eyes watered as you realized that you had gained some weight. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were right, you looked like garbage all the time.
You ripped your eyes away from yourself in the mirror with disgust etched deep into your features. You were disgusting through and through. Ripping your brush through your hair, you winced at the pain emanating from the back of your head. You deserve the pain for letting yourself go. Once you were slightly more satisfied with your appearance, you stepped out of the bathroom and quickly changed into the clothes you would wear today. You decided on a hoodie and a pair of tights. You didn’t feel like dressing yourself up. 
You once again walked down the stairs and slipped on your shoes to meet your dad in his car. You idly scrolled through your phone while you waited for him, looking at your notifications for the first time that day. You had ten texts from the group chat that you were in with Adrian, Annie, and Sammy.
Sammy <3
(Y/n) where the hell are you?
Adrian <3
Do you guys think she ditched us?
I knew she was ignoring us
Sammy <3
Who ignores their friends?
Annie <3
(Y/n) apparently. 
She has more important things to do ig
Oh my god
Do you guys think she skipped school?
Adrian <3
I wouldn’t put it past her
Maybe she finally gave up
(Y/n)
I’m sorry guys, I just have a doctor’s appointment today
I would never ignore you
Sammy <3
Yk, it’s hard to keep defending you when you keep ditching us..
(Y/n)
I’m not ditching you!
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about my appointment
I’ll make it up to you guys
Adrian <3
How?
You’ve already skipped out on us enough already
Annie <3
Oh ik!
She can write our final research paper for us Dri!
I haven’t started it yet lmao
Adrian <3
Saaaame lmaoooo
Sammy <3
Guys, what about me???
Adrian <3
Idk, figure it out yourself
Sammy <3
Rude!
Uhhh
Ur gonna put together my final presentation for us history
(Y/n)
Alright, I can do that for you guys
Sam can you pls send me the rubric? 
Annie <3
Thanks love ;)
(Y/n)
No problem, I like doing things for friends
My dad’s coming, I gotta go
Talk to you guys later
Adrian <3
Byeeee (y/n), ur the best!
(Y/n)
: ) <3
You put your phone down as your dad started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. The drive was quiet as you stared out the window and thought about how much work you now had to do. On top of your own classes, you had two more to write and a presentation to make in a class you hadn’t taken since the first semester in your sophomore year. The research papers had to be at least four full pages long with a minimum of ten sources each due on Friday and you had no idea how big Sammy’s US history presentation has to be or what it’s even about. But that was fine, you’d do anything for your friends. 
“So, who were you texting? Your boyfriend?” He asked jokingly.
“Oh, just Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. I don’t have a boyfriend Dad,” because you were a closeted lesbian, but you wouldn’t tell him that anytime soon. “You know that.”
“I know,” he chuckled, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. How have they been?”
“They’re good. Adrian got a job at the diner, he’s a host. Sammy and Annie have been focusing more on raising their grades.”
“Good for them! You should invite them over for dinner sometime.”
“I was actually thinking that I could maybe go hang out with them on Halloween...?”
“(Y/n), the family was going to take Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating.”
“I know, but there’s always next year. Plus, we haven’t been able to hang out in so long! We’re always free at different times.”
“I don’t know (y/n), what if they don’t want to trick-or-treat next year? What were you planning on doing with them?”
“We were just gonna hang out at Annie’s house and watch some horror movies,” you lied. He would never let you go if he knew you were going to a party. Especially one where alcohol would be involved and hormonal teenage boys ran rampant actively scouting for an easy lay.
“...I’ll think about it.” The car pulled into the doctor office’s parking lot.
“Thank you Dad! It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out together.”
He chuckled as you both walked into the lobby, checked in, and waited for your name to be called. About ten minutes later, you were summoned by a nurse so you went into the back leaving your dad to wait in the lobby. The nurse recorded your height and weight (much to your dismay, you gained four pounds) and asked you the standard questions about your injury and uncomfortable questions about your overall health. The clacking of her acrylic nails on the plastic keyboard filled the awkward silence.
Once that was done, she left and you had to wait a little bit for the doctor. After slipping into the backless gown the nurse left, you mindlessly scrolled on your phone. Jumping when someone knocked on the door, you looked up to see your family’s doctor smiling at you.
“Hello (y/n), how are we feeling today?”
“I’m alright.”
“I hear that you had quite the fall onto some concrete, is that true?”
“Yes, I landed on my back and the back of my head.”
She reached over and squirted hand sanitizer onto her hands, rubbing it in and looking back at you. “Can you please lay on your stomach so I can take a look at your back?”
You nodded, shifting on the uncomfortable paper covered cushioned table onto your stomach. You felt her cold hands gently graze your bruises before she pulled out her stethoscope. “Can you take a good deep breath in for me?”
You complied and she instructed you to let it out. Doing this multiple times along your back, she put her stethoscope away and continued prodding at your exposed back. 
“There’s definitely some swelling in multiple areas… It doesn’t feel or sound like you cracked or broke any ribs, which is excellent… Do you have any pain deep in your shoulder when you move it?”
“Yes, I landed on it wrong last night at my volleyball match.”
“How would you describe your pain? Stabbing, sore, throbbing…”
“More sore, but a little stabbing pain when I move my arm.”
She moved her fingers to examine your shoulder. “It doesn’t sound like a sprain or fracture, can you move it up and down for me?”
You moved your arm up and down, front and back, and side to side. “You still have a full range of movement, that’s good. Can I have you sit back up again?”
You sat back up and she started testing you for a concussion. After passing her tests, you were cleared of having a concussion. “Alright (y/n), it appears that you only strained your deltoid and teres muscles and you have severe bruising along your back. Make sure you ice your back and, if you have one, wear a shoulder compression sleeve. Anti-inflammatory medications such as Ibuprofen will help with the swelling. Other than that, you have a clean bill of health! You can still participate in volleyball practices, but you need to take it easy. Don’t do anything that will strain the muscles any further.”
“Thank you Dr. Samson,” you smiled at her. 
“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to change back into your clothes and you’re free to go! You may leave the gown on the table.”
She left the room and you redressed yourself. Walking out to the lobby, Philza’s head perked up when he heard the door opening. He stood up and walked over to you with a slightly worried face. You both walked back out to the car.
“So?”
“Dr. Samson said that I don’t have a concussion, sprains or broken bones. She told me that I just strained my shoulder muscles and I need to keep ice on my back.”
He visibly slumped in relief. “Thank god. What’d she say about volleyball?”
“She said that I could keep playing, but I have to take it easy.”
“Good, wouldn’t want you missing finals on Thursday. Do you know if the team you’re playing is any good?”
“Dad, of course they’re good, we’re the top two teams in the area.”
“I bet their setter is nowhere near as good as you are and I bet the setter and spiker aren’t as synced as you and Haley are. You two make a good pair.” 
“Yeah we do, don’t we?” You looked out the window and smiled a little and felt your ears turn red. The very mention of Haley’s name was enough to make you feel like you were on cloud nine. The car fell silent again as you neared your high school. 
In your AP world history class, the class was looking at the test you had taken yesterday. Surprisingly, you got a 74% on the multiple choice part and a 50% on your essay portion, so that landed you with a just below passing grade. You thought you completely flunked that test yesterday, so that was a pleasant surprise. It took a good portion out of your overall grade in the class, lowering it from a comfortable A- to a slightly alarming B. You supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. Besides reviewing your tests, the class didn’t do much except starting the reading for the next chapter.
Your psychology online class went like it usually did, however your phone blew up with texts about midway through the block. Glancing down, you saw that it was Haley. Shouldn’t she be in class?
Hales : )
(Y/n) meet me in the locker room right after school
I need to talk to you before practice starts
It’s an emergency
(Y/n)
What’s going on?
Hales : )
I’ll explain after school.
Can’t talk about it over text
(Y/n)
Alright, see ya then ig
You felt your gut twinge. Something’s wrong, but you didn’t know what. You were worried about Haley, usually she was really bubbly. You’ve never seen the senior act so strange before. You could only wait the block out until the bell would release you from the confines of the library and into the locker room. After sending a quick text to your brothers that you were going to stay after school for your practice, you stared blankly at your laptop’s clock as you counted down the minutes left in the class period. Ten minutes. Eight minutes. Four minutes. Two minutes. Thirty seconds-
You shot up from your seat as the bell rang. Pushing past some groups of freshmen that congregated in the hallways, you made a beeline for the locker room. In the locker room, you found Haley sitting on the metal bench on the opposite end of the locker room with her back facing the last row of lockers and facing the brick wall. She was clenching her phone in her hand with an iron grip. You hurried to sit next to her.
“Hales, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
“It’s bad (y/n). Like, really bad.”
“What’s bad? You’re worrying me.”
Wordlessly, she unlocked her phone and handed it to you. On the screen was something that you weren’t expecting to see. You scrolled through the contents and felt your stomach drop with each scroll; someone took pictures of you and Haley throughout the match last night. Every picture was a violation to yours and Haley’s dignities, they had gotten zoomed in pictures of your boobs and asses. Deeper, there were even pictures taken of you changing into your volleyball uniform through your open window. You were only in your underwear. Haley had a similar picture that you scrolled past as fast as you could. Scrolling to the bottom of the text message thread, the person that sent Haley the pictures added a caption to the last picture. It was a picture of you and Haley together celebrating your match, her arm slung around your shoulder with your mouth open mid-laugh.
Unknown
I’m sending these out to the entire school unless you stop hanging around her.
If you tell anyone, the pics will be printed off and put in every single locker and bathroom the school has.
You’ll be the sluts of Klinkver High. 
Cut all ties now. You have two days. 
Do not try me.
“Jesus christ Haley. Who the fuck would do this? This is sick.”
She took her phone back and locked it without looking at the screen. “I don’t know (y/n). I wanted to tell you not to openly talk to me for a few days. We don’t know who took these, we don’t know what they’re capable of. I don’t wanna risk angering them.”
“We can find them! If we look close enough, we might find a few clues where they were sitting. Do you remember seeing anything suspicious last night?”
“(Y/n), our best option is to leave it. We just can’t talk in person anymore; we can still text each other.”
“Hales, how are we gonna not talk? I’m your setter.”
She ran a hand through her thick black hair. “I don’t know (y/n). Just-just don’t talk to me anymore, I don’t want your pictures leaked.”
“I don’t care about my pictures. My name’s been drug through so much shit this past year that it won’t affect me. I don’t want your stuff leaked.”
She gave a watery laugh, “you care too much, I love that about you…” Glistening eyes turned to look deep into your own. “I’m so scared (y/n), I don’t know what to do.”
You pulled her into a hug, wincing slightly when she squeezed her arms around your upper back. She buried her face into your shoulder and started shaking with muffled sobs. “Haley, I promise I’ll catch whatever sick bastard is doing this to you. You don’t deserve this.”
She said nothing as you rested your chin on the top of her head and started to rock her back and forth slowly. You two stayed like that even after her sobbing resided, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Glancing at the clock, you realized that you two have been in the locker room for an hour. Practice was set to start in fifteen minutes, people were going to start coming into the locker room soon. 
You reluctantly pulled away from the hug and looked Haley in her bloodshot eyes, “I’m not going to let those pictures of you get leaked. I swear on my-”
The door to the locker room swung open and loud laughter echoed throughout the room. Haley pushed you away and speed walked off to a bathroom stall, slamming the door shut behind her. 
“Damn (y/n), what’d you do? She’s pissed.” 
“It’s none of your business, Zara.” 
“Oh, so it’s a lover’s quarrel then~” She cackled, her hair bouncing slightly with each heave of her shoulders. 
“For the love of… Haley and I aren’t dating, we’re both straight.” She’s straight.
“Mmhm.” She brushed past you to go to her locker. You followed her, your locker was in the grouping next to hers. You shared the area with Haley. You changed as fast as you could so that Haley would have time to change before practice starts. Speed walking into the gym, Zara was hot on your trail wearing a shit eating grin.
“Why are you in such a rush? Giving your girlfriend the silent treatment?”
“Zara. We aren’t dating. For the last time, we’re both heterosexual, not homosexual!” You wildly gestured with your hands to emphasize your point, your voice being amplified by the vast gym. Coach Williams gave you a confused look from across the gym. 
“You just keep telling yourself that.”
“I’m serious.”
“Hi serious,” a soft voice replied from behind you, “I’m Jazzy.”
You groaned at the pun at the same time Zara started cackling, giving the short libero a high five. “Nice!”
“That was so bad, Jaz.” You couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto your face.
Zara poked your cheek with a wide grin. “C’mon, you’re smiling!”
“I am and I hate it.”
Your bickering continued with Jazzy watching you two with a content smile. The remaining members of the team (Haley, Marlene, and Zuri) filed into the gym right as Coach Williams blew her whistle. 
Practice went by slowly without Haley talking to you. Sure, you had the rest of the team, but it didn’t feel the same with you guys ignoring each other. If the team or Coach Williams noticed you two not talking to each other, they didn’t say anything. By time practice was over, you all went to the locker room to change. After slipping into your fuzzy pajama pants, you sat on the bench and texted Wilbur to come pick you up. He was supposed to pick you up after practice today because he and Techno took the car home after school. Five minutes passed and he still didn’t reply. He probably won’t see the text until you got home from walking.
You sighed, resting your chin in your palm as you leaned forward. One by one, the girls left the locker room until it was only you and Haley left. 
“Do you need a ride (y/n)?” She asked gently.
“But what if the person sees us together? I can just walk home, it’s not really a big deal.”
She rolled her eyes at you. “It is a big deal. It’s cold and dark out. You could get kidnapped or something. You don’t even have a coat with you. I’m giving you a ride whether you like it or not.”
You playfully rolled your eyes at her and stood up to walk next to her, “okay, mom.”
“Don’t give me that attitude young lady.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom!”
She gasped and lightly smacked the back of your shoulder, “I married your- are you alright? Shit, I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, you’re good. It’s just this damned bruise.”
She moved her hands and frantically turned you around to pull the neck of your shirt down. You two stood in front of the school’s main entrance with the nauseatingly bright fluorescent light bouncing off the reflective surface of the tiles. The orange tinted street lights lit up the sidewalk outside.
“(Y/n)-”
“I know what you’re gonna say.”
She scoffed, “oh really? What am I gonna say then, o wise one?”
You turned around to face her, “‘oh, this is bad, yadda yadda yadda.’ Everyone’s been saying that about it. Honestly it looks worse than it feels. Tis but a scratch, m’lady.”
She snorted and covered her mouth, “never call me ‘m’lady’ ever again.”
You started to walk to her car in the empty parking lot. “Or what? What’re ya gonna do?”
“I swear to god, (y/n), I’m gonna leave you here.”
“Do it, pussy. Bet you won’t.”
“You really wanna bet?”
You grinned at her, “hell yeah.”
She broke off into a mad dash to her car, laughing freely into the night sky. You chased after her trying not to move your arms much, your laugh mixing with hers like a perfect symphony composed of the world’s best musicians. The sound of your rubber soles slapping the pavement resonated throughout the parking lot as you quickly gained on her. Reaching out to grab her shirt, she smirked at you and sharply turned to the right into the grass.
You grinned as her pace slowed down slightly. You’d be able to catch her at this pace. You pushed your legs to move faster as she looked at you from over her shoulder and shrieked in surprise at how close you were to her. You cackled at her reaction, reaching out once again, you grabbed her hand. She was stopped dead in her tracks as your shoulder was yanked with the sudden momentum, making you hiss in slight pain. Despite that, you didn’t let go of her soft hand. 
You both stood there under the moonlight and the soft orange street lamps trying to  catch your breath. The slightly damp blades of grass tickled your ankle as you shifted to face her better. Through gasping breaths and a dopey grin, you said “you… lost, pussy.”
She let out a breathy laugh as she pulled you to her car. “Shuddup.”
“Make me~”
She opened the passenger side door for you and got into the driver's seat. Her car smelled like vanilla and citrus. “Oh, you will later when I make you do more sets in weight lifting tomorrow, hurt shoulder be damned.”
She turned on the ignition and the car revved to life, soft indie pop wafted from the speakers. She backed out of the parking space and sped off to the main road. “You wouldn’t…”
“I’m your captain, (y/n). I can make you do whatever I want.” You felt your cheeks heat up a tad. You were happy that she couldn’t see you.
“Naw, you’re too much of a softie for that. Admit it, I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger.”
She chuckled as she pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “...Alright, maybe you do. Just a bit.”
She turned to look at you. She looked stunning with the shadows accentuating the contours of her face perfectly. You found yourself glancing at her lips and leaning slightly towards you. To your surprise, she started leaning into you as well. Before your lips could finally mesh together, she pulled back with a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. You felt a rush of disappointment and fear course through your veins. She didn’t like you like that, you should’ve known better. You were so stupid. So, so stu-
“I can’t (y/n). I want to kiss you so bad, but we can’t. Not yet at least. Not until we find the pervert that took those pictures of us.”
You sighed, “right.”
The car was filled with awkward silence. Not even the soft music streaming from the speakers could alleviate the awkwardness. God, you really screwed up your friendship, didn’t you? Sammy, Adrian, and Annie were right; you messed up everything you touched.
You coughed, “I think I’m gonna…”
“Yeah…”
You grabbed your bag and walked into your house, the smell of chicken slapping you in the face instantly. Without checking in with your dad, you hurried up the stairs, desperate for the warm comfort of your bed. That, and if you wanted to get Sammy’s presentation and Adrian’s, Annie’s, and your research papers done by Friday, you had to start as soon as you could. You were going to skip dinner for tonight, you’d just grab more breakfast tomorrow morning. 
You plopped on your bed and got started on your research paper. Luckily, you already had all of the sources you were planning on using and the rough outline of each body paragraph, so writing the actual paper wasn’t going to take long. You worked until you heard a knock at your door. 
“(Y/n),” Techno’s monotone voice called out, “dinner’s ready.”
“Tell Dad I’m not hungry. Practice’s got me beat, I’m going to bed soon.”
He grunted, “you know he’s not gonna like that right?”
You felt frustration start to swim circles around your chest, “Techno, just tell him that I’m not hungry right now. Please.”
“Damn, you don’t need to be like that. I’ll tell him.”
You heard his stomping footsteps thumping down the hall. Shit, you pissed him off. You were a terrible person, he was just trying to get you to eat something, Pushing back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, you forced the panic that was starting to swirl around your body in laps deep into your being. You didn’t have time to deal with your failures and stupid emotions, you had to get this done. You didn’t have time to think about Haley’s warm breath ghosting across your lips. You didn’t have time to think about how she probably regretted almost kissing you. You didn’t have time to fall into an anxiety spiral, you needed to focus if you wanted Adrian, Annie, and Sammy to forgive you. You ruined yours and Haley’s friendship and did the same to yours and Techno’s. They were the only ones you had left. You needed to be a better friend.
Taglist (comment if you want to be added or if I missed you, it won’t let me tag some tumblrs :((( ):
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dameronology · 3 years
Text
that’s all {din djarin x reader}
(i’m reposting this bc it wasn’t showing up in the tags and it was stressing me out) 
summary: you’d saved din djarin from himself before. now, with the pain of losing his kid, you’re about to do it all over again. (kinda based on find me here by hayley williams)
warnings: this is...flangst. fluff and angst. swearing. mentions of depression but it’s also a bit ✨positive✨
this is just me trying to be the emotional janitor to...that. i’ve tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible but some of the conversation might imply an afab reader but hopefully it’s vague to be completely objective!!
- jazz
anyways i know i already said it but !! spoilers !! spoilers !! spoilers !!
p.s spot the titanic reference 
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Grogu was tiny but the whole he left in your lives was massive.
You always knew you were going to have to give him up - hell, that had been the job in the first place - but you hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. He wasn’t your kid but at the same he completely and entirely was. You’d never expected your first parenting experience to be with a tiny green Jedi but at the same time, you wouldn’t have had it any other way. The next few months were going to be hard; accepting that he wasn’t yours to keep and that he was in a better place was guaranteed to be a long process. It would be worth it in the end but the initial pain was bordering on unbearable.
Din was better at hiding it than you. Admittedly, he did have a thick beskar layer to shield his emotions and pain from the outside world but he couldn’t hide it from you; never from you. Even behind the metal, you could read him like a book. It was a product of spending every waking minute together (his overprotective doing, not yours) and in return, he had learnt every habit and every quirk of yours. He sometimes cursed your ability to read him, especially when it lead to you saying things like you did not just tilt your helmet at me like that, Din Djarin.
He’d been quieter in the days since Luke Skywalker had taken the kid - quieter than usual, at least. Din was already a pretty taciturn person; compared to how he was with other people, he practically spoke your ear off but since you’d landed back on Nevarro, he’d completely kept to himself. It was painful to watch, seeing him rise at the crack of dawn to take a bounty, only to return in the evening with a few more bruises than he’d had that morning. You wanted to say something to do something that would make him snap back to reality, but this was probably his grieving process and you had to respect that. Or, you had to at least try to.
That was, until, it felt like Din was killing both you and him; working himself to the point of exhaustion, barely sleeping and refusing to even acknowledge Greef or Cara. You could deal with him being angsty. You could deal with him grieving. You couldn’t, however, deal with him ignoring you. You had literally vowed to go through all your bad times together and Din Djarin was nothing if not a man of his word. He knew it. You knew it too - and you’d be damned if you’d let him forget it.
It was on a cold - at least by Nevarro standards - morning that you decided it was time to show him some tough love. The Mandalorian had decided to hole out on one of Karga’s old ships that morning, claiming that he wanted to fix it. You were no engineering genius, but given that the old jet’s wings had fallen off, you could see it was past the point of no return and that Din had just been looking for an excuse. He was good at that these days.
‘Din!’ You called. The bay doors were open, but the ship itself was dark and dusty. Tinkering, my ass. As expected, there was no reply. ‘Din! Don’t ignore me.’
Silence.
‘Please?’
You grumbled to yourself, walking further inside the dimly lit ship. Tiny specs of dust were floating in the streams of thin light, leading your path further and further towards the cockpit. Who ever it had belonged it, it pre-dated the Republic, let alone the Empire or new order. You tried to resist the urge to cough, instead choosing to focus on your mission: hunting down the Mandalorian. The tables really had turned, considering he was very rarely the prey.
‘I was talking to Karga.’ You continued - as far as you knew, you were talking to thin air, but you liked your chances. ‘He offered me a bounty puck for...Corellia, is it? For that big, bad guy we didn’t catch last year. You know the one that nearly killed me?’
There was a crash from the cockpit, and you grinned to yourself. It was a little unethical to scare the man out of hiding with your bullshit, but you were getting desperate.
‘I figured it would be good to get out a bit, try and distract myself, you know?’ You continued. ‘So I was gonna borrow a ship and head out there tomorrow-’
‘- like hell you’re doing that on your own.’  
A six foot mountain of beskar suddenly stepped out from the darkness. Normally, that would have been enough to scare anyone, but not you. You’d married that six foot mountain of beskar. That probably gave you more guts than anyone in the damn galaxy -- until they found out he wasn’t actually that terrifying. Not many people would have taken the Mandalorian seriously if they knew he enjoyed having his hair played with.
You held your hands up in the air, stretching out your fingers to show that there was no puck in sight.
‘You lied.’ Din grunted.
‘And you were ignoring me.’ You shot back. ‘’S going on?’
‘I told you. I was working on the ship-’
‘- nope.’ You cut him off. ‘Try again.’
‘Karga asked me to fix it-’
‘- Still no!’ You snapped. ‘We gonna go three for three or are you gonna finally pull your head out your ass and stop lying to me, Din?’
There wasn’t a single person in the galaxy who dared speak back to the Mandalorian - except you. That was what had made him fall for you in the first place. It was like you couldn’t even see the beskar. You’d always seen him as Din, and never as the Mandalorian, or a warrior. You’d made it clear from the day you met that you wouldn’t take any bullshit from anyone, him included, and he’d always respected that.
‘You have been holing yourself away for weeks.’ You continued. ‘I know it’s hard but you have to accept it. Grogu wasn’t ours to keep - he never was.’
Din didn’t response, instead dropping his gaze down to the floor.’
‘Hey.’ You put a finger at the base of the helmet, tilting his head back up to look at you. ‘Look at me. Talk to me.’
‘I miss him.’ He stated; short and blunt. Fitting, really. ‘And it hurts.’
‘I get that.’ You gently placed your hands on either side of his helmet, fingers splaying out over the cold metal. ‘But it’s better to hurt together. Can I?’
Din nodded, signalling that it was okay for you to take it off. You gently tugged at the helmet, momentarily breaking away from him to place it beside you. It was a relief to see his face after so many weeks of having the beskar between you; the soft brown eyes and slightly crooked smile that met you on the other side felt like home. You could have stared at him forever if the galaxy wasn’t so fucking demanding of your presence.
You’d spent far too long on the other side of the beskar, waiting for him to let you in. And now that you’d got him, now that you’d promised yourselves to one another forever? You weren’t going to let it happen again.
You gently pushed back a few tufts of brown hair, offering him a sad smile. ‘You know we made the right decision, yeah?’
He nodded, leaning into your touch as your hands carded through his hair. ‘I know.’
‘So you gotta stop beating yourself up, baby.’ You stressed. ‘Stop shutting people out - stop shutting me out. I know we don’t have the kid anymore but we are still a family.’
‘I lost the ship. I lost the kid.’ Din quietly spoke. ‘I’m just worried that-’
‘- I’m not going anywhere.’ You shook your head, knowing what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth. ‘Even if you paid me. You are stuck with me, okay? Cursed with me till the day I keel over and die.’
Finally, Din smiled. He looked you dead in the eye and he smiled, eyes creasing at the side as he peered down at you, eventually tightening his arms around your waist. He held your head to his chest, ungloved hand gently clutching you as he rested his chin on your hair. The first time he’d clung onto you like this had been after a rough mission; neither of you had been sure if he was going to make it back and when he did, the first thing he did was pull you into his arms and you stayed there for what felt like hours. That was when Din realised for the first time that he loved you - and now, after weeks of isolating himself and shutting you out, this didn’t feel completely different from that. It was just that this time, it was less of a realisation of more of a reminder.
‘I didn’t expect it to be this bad.’ Din quietly admitted.
‘I know.’ You whispered back, voice slightly muffled by his chest. ‘But pain is only temporary. Dark times pass and we’ll learn to look back on this and enjoy the memories. They won’t always be tainted.’
He’d been in a dark place when he’d met you. It was like he’d been treading water, waiting for the riptides to take him, to stake their claim and remind him of his mortality, to remind him that not even the bravest people can forfeit their ability to hurt. He tried. Maker, he had tried. The icy and emotionless impression he gave to strangers wasn’t an accident. It was a survival mechanism; a defense mechanism. One that you’d chosen to ignore. You’d saved him in every way a person could be saved.
Just as the waves were pulling him under, you’d dragged him out; dragged him to the shore and reminded him that pain was merely part of being human. Most importantly, you’d called his attention to the fact that no matter how much beskar he wore or how impenetrable he acted, that he couldn’t avoid being one. He could run away from bounty hunters and Imperials and the thousands of enemies he’d made but the fact of mortality was always hot on his tail.
Now, you were pulling him up for air all over again.
Eventually, pain stopped being a reminder of his humanity and instead, it was replaced by his love for you. His ability to feel things for you. You’d saved him then and now, you were helping him come up for air all over again. Being human didn’t always mean to hurt - it could just as much mean to love.
‘I’ve got you, okay?’ You tightened your grip on him, eyes meeting his. ‘Whatever you need.’
‘You.’ Din replied. ‘I need you. That’s all.’
a/n: ok i realised i published an identical but slightly different imagine to this in october but...clearly i have a type and that type is imagines where the mandalorian confesses that you’re the only thing he needs because i eat that shit up. consume it whole. i am telling you. i have no regrets. my content might is predictable but HELL at least u can rely on something in these wild times❤️
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doctorstethoscope · 3 years
Text
The Right Chapter 3 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
Hey gang, I wanted to give y’all another update this week because I know there wasn’t a lot of hotch in the last chapter. This is a long one! 
Read previous chapters here!
wordcount: 3.6k
warnings: canon-typical harassment and violence, swearing
tagging: @the-modernmary @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13 @wanniiieeee
It’s closer to the afternoon than the morning when you finally get out of bed the next day. Aaron had set you up in his guest room before going to bed himself, and had dutifully woken you up every two hours. You emerged into the kitchen to see him sitting at the table with his laptop open, surely working even though he was technically out on sick leave. 
“Good morning” he says when he sees you appear in the doorway. “The coffee’s still hot, if you want some. I don’t have any RedBull, though.” 
You rolled your eyes as you crossed the kitchen to make yourself a cup. “Is it still morning? It feels like I must have slept through the whole day.”
“Well, you needed it. Long night.” He tells you, and you let out a little hum in response. “Hey, uh. Your cell phone is on the counter. It was making a lot of noise and I didn’t want it to wake you.” he admits sheepishly. “I didn’t read anything, but Josh’s name popped up a lot.”
You pouted a little. “I guess I did kind of just disappear. I probably owe him an explanation,” you said, crossing the kitchen and picking your phone up.
“You don’t owe him a god damned thing.” Hotch said a little harshly, but you knew his tone wasn’t aimed towards you. 
You powered your phone on-- Hotch must have turned it on after he took it. 13 missed calls and 27 texts, sheesh. Not all of them are from Josh, thankfully. You shoot a quick text back to JJ, Garcia and Emily, who had all individually checked in when you didn’t show up at the office. With a little more trepidation, you opened up your thread with Josh. 
“Where are you?”
“You never came to bed last night.”
“Off fucking the boss man?”
 “Did I catch you before you got down to anything good?”
“Fucking slut.”
“Couldn’t even finish cleaning the carpet before you left.”
“Fucking answer me.”
“Did I bash your skull so hard that you forgot to pack my lunch before you left?”
“This is ridiculous.’
“So you’re just running away?”
“Don’t be such a baby.” 
“You are so in for it when you get home.”
“I should have killed you.”
There’s more, but you’re not sure you can stomach it. You drop your phone to the counter, swallowing back a bit of bile that has risen up from your stomach. Aaron is at your side in an instant. 
“Can I look?” He asked quietly. He’s looking you right in the eye but you feel like you can’t see him at all, like he’s not really there. You must have nodded your head, because he picked up your phone and started scrolling, but you have no way of knowing how you even told your body to do that. After a moment, he sets your phone face down on the counter, and turns to face you, placing a gentle hand on each of your upper arms. “We are going to figure it out, okay? You’re not in this alone, and I’m not going to let you get hurt again. You did the right thing. You got out. And now you have help.” 
 He’s staring into your eyes as he promises to keep you safe, and the dam breaks. All of the emotions that you’ve bottled up for the last ten hours are flooding through you, and you’re sobbing uncontrollably before you have even recognized how upset you really are. Aaron gathers you up in his arms in an instant, and you wrap your arms around him, crying into his old sweatshirt. 
“It’s okay. I’ve got you. Let it all out,” he whispers in a mantra, rubbing your back.
You realize in this moment that Aaron is truly your best friend-- you’d always known that you were closer to him than anyone else in the office, and the same was true for him, with the possible exception of Dave. What you hadn’t realized, is that somewhere along the way, your college friendships, your academy friendships, your girlfriends, had all faded into the background, and Aaron became the person you wanted to tell good news to, the person you drew comfort from, and the person you called when you realized you couldn’t get the blood out of the carpet. The realization surprises you, enough to let you get a few deep breaths in and calm yourself down, untucking from Aaron’s shoulder and dabbing at your eyes with your shirt sleeve.
 “Thank you,” you say through your choked voice, even though it could never be enough.
“How’s your head?” He asked, looking over the top of your head to the clock on the stove to see if it was time for you to have more pain meds.  
“Ah, well, I don’t think the crying really helped.” You shrugged, attempting to bring some levity back to the situation as you picked your phone back up. 
“What are you doing?” Hotch asked, eyeing you and the phone. 
“I’m calling Josh back.” You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
“Okay, now I’m sure you hit your head,” he said, swiping the phone out of your hand before you could place a call.
“Hotch--” 
 “Can you at least tell me why you want to do this?” He said, and you can see the concern etched into his face. 
“I’ve got to go back at some point. I’m sure it’ll be easier for him to cool off if I’m not completely ignoring him in the meantime.”
“Go back? What are you talking about?” Aaron asked
“I live there, Hotchner. I can’t avoid him forever. Even if I move--”
“You’ll stay here. For as long as necessary. It’s not safe for you to go back there.” He says, his tone leaving no room for argument.
“Do I get a say in this at all?” 
“Not if your only defense is that you don’t want someone else to take care of you. Because right now you need caring for, and I’m not letting you talk your way out of it.” Hotch said resolutely, and you sighed. The silence lingers for a moment before you speak up again, quietly. 
“I could use some more pain meds.” You admitted. 
“You shouldn’t take these on an empty stomach. Let’s get you some toast, drink your coffee to clear up your sinuses and then you can take your next dose and go back to bed.” 
“Hotch, the day’s half over. I can’t go back to bed.” You argued, with significantly less heat behind it, lifting the steaming mug of coffee up to your face at his suggestion. 
“It’s a sick day. You’re injured. You’re supposed to rest all day and let your body heal. You won’t be arguing with me once you’ve taken the pills.”
Hotch had tried to get you to take the rest of the week off, but you couldn’t stand the thought of sitting around in his apartment doing nothing. You also knew that an extended absence would catch the attention of your teammates-- and you weren’t sure if you were ready to share all of this with them yet. That was why you were perched in front of the mirror in Hotch’s guest room, liberally applying concealer and powder to your healing black eye. Aaron had made you promise to take it easy, and you already know he’d have eyes on you all day to make sure you weren’t overdoing it. No need to attract any more attention. There’s a soft knock from the hall. 
“Come in,” you called.
“Hey,” Hotch said, swinging open the door. “We’ve got to leave in a few minutes.” 
“I’ll be ready,” you assured him, dipping your brush into the powder before brushing it over your nose and cheekbone, wincing a little. 
“When did you learn to do that?” Hotch asked softly.
“Hotch…” You responded softly. 
“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry. You don’t need to answer that.” He apologized, averting his gaze to the floor.
“If I answer, are you going to stop blaming yourself for not noticing?”
“I can’t promise you that.” He shakes his head. 
“I wasn’t… I’m not a battered woman, Hotch.” 
“Of course you aren’t.” He’s quick to affirm you, to make sure you know he doesn’t see you as a victim.
“No, I mean, this was excessive. Was he rough? Sure. Did he leave marks? Yeah, he did. But I wasn’t getting tossed around and beaten like that. He’s not really like that, normally. He was just drunk, I think.” 
“You’re not seriously making excuses for him, are you?” Hotch asked, and suddenly you’re indignant, even though you know he’s right.
“He had a bad night.” You protest weakly. 
“He almost killed you!” Aaron raised his voice, just a tad.
“He was just trying to scare me.” You countered. 
“He was escalating. I know that you know that,” Hotch said, searching your face, looking for something to profile. You didn’t blame him, you knew your behavior was erratic. You draw a deep breath, your chin quivering as your eyes welled up. 
“It worked. I’m scared.” You squeaked out, trying not to let the tears fall and ruin the makeup you’ve worked so hard on. Hotch wrapped you in his arms again and you breathed in deeply, letting his cologne fill your lungs and lull you into a calm.
“You don’t need to be scared. I’ve got your six. I’ve got you.” He reminded you, and you pulled away from him. 
“I don’t think I’m ready to share this with the team yet.” You told him, and he nodded. 
“Like I said, your pace. When you’re ready, you’ll tell them, and if you want my support, I’ll be there. I’m gonna go make us some coffee, meet me in the kitchen when you’re ready.”
You were silly to think that you could hide anything from a group of profilers-- none of them have guessed it, yet, or if they have, they’re too polite to say anything about it, but they’ve certainly noticed something. They surrounded you with concern and peppered you with questions the second you walked into the office, and Hotch’s devotion to making sure you weren’t pushing yourself too hard certainly wasn’t going unnoticed. It was during one of your Unit-Chief-Mandated-Breaks that you snuck into the kitchen to refill your water bottle. Almost silently, JJ slipped in behind you. 
“You know, you can just say the word, and we’ll all stop pestering you.” She says, and you can hear her gentle smile.
“That’s okay. If I call you off, I lose the right to fuss over whoever’s next.” You tried to crack a joke. 
“Good point.” She chuckled. 
“I really am okay, Jayje.” You assured her. 
“No, honey, you aren’t.” She shook her head. “But you’ll tell us when you’re ready, and we’ll support you even if the secret dies with you.” She laughs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked out of the kitchen together, sharing a small conspiratorial laugh, your heads thrown back as you pass through the doorway. When the ping of the elevator doors opening grabs your attention, you drop your water bottle in shock. 
“You okay?” JJ asks, bending over to pick up your water bottle as he storms through the glass doors of the BAU. 
“You whore!” Josh spat out, catching the attention of the whole bullpen. So much for keeping them out of it.
“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” Morgan asked, rising from his desk immediately. 
“Josh?” Emily says, the first one to recognize him. Your eyes dart around the bullpen, and you spot Reid at his desk phone, no doubt calling security.  
“You fucking bitch!” Josh says, still advancing towards you. Your brain is screaming at you to run but you can’t get your legs to move. It’s a literal childhood nightmare, playing out in the flesh.
“Come on, let’s go back into the kitchen” JJ says softly, her tone betraying none of her fear as she practically shoves you back into the kitchen. You stumble into a chair, and the sound is muted because of the door, but you can still see and hear everything through the glass. Josh takes another step into the bullpen, but Morgan’s in front of him. 
“Turn around and walk out of here, man, because there’s no other way this ends well for you.” Morgan puffs out his chest, trying to stop Josh from looking over his shoulder and seeing you. 
“Not until that slut gives me some fucking answers,” He spits out, and you feel JJ squeeze your hand, but you’re too laser-focused on the scene in front of you to acknowledge her.
“I’m going to give you one more chance to walk away.” Morgan hisses through his teeth, advancing closer to Josh. 
“I’d listen to him if I were you.” Hotch said, suddenly appearing on the other side of Josh. You hadn’t seen him come down the stairs. 
“Ah, good old boss man.’ Josh jeered. “How’s my sloppy seconds? I hope she’s treating you real good seeing as how you stole her right out from under me in the night.”
Without warning, you watch Hotch’s fist connect with Josh’s face. Josh stumbles away, holding his nose, when security comes in through the elevators. 
“I’m leaving, I’m leaving.” He says, raising his hands in surrender. He turns around to face Hotch once more. “This isn’t over.” He says, bringing his hands back to his nose and following the security officer into the elevator.
There’s a stunned sort of silence that hangs over the unit for a few moments before you hear someone break out into a sob. When you feel JJ’s hand start rubbing across your back, you realize that it came from you. The door flies open and you startle, but when you look up, you see a clouded figure of Hotch through your tear-saturated eyes. 
You hear JJ and Aaron whisper to each other, but you can’t focus enough to hear what they’re saying. Whatever it is, the conversation ends with JJ slipping out of the kitchen just as quietly as she came, and Aaron sliding into the chair across from you.
“Can I touch you?” He asked, his voice only just loud enough for you to hear over the sound of your own labored breathing. You nodded, unable to verbally respond. He smoothed his hands over your shoulders, down your arms, taking your hands into his own. “You’re okay, he’s gone. Security knows who he is now, he won’t be allowed back in the building.” He tells you, and you nod again. 
“I’m okay.” You manage to choke out. 
“I need you to take some deep breaths for me, okay? You’re going to make yourself sick.” He asked of you, disarmingly calm, as he modeled the deep cleansing breaths for you. You take a deep, shaky breath in, trying to force the oxygen all the way down into your lungs before letting it back out in a huff. “Good,” he told you. “Good job, sweetheart, keep going.” he encouraged you, tucking a piece of hair that had gotten stuck to your tear-stained cheek behind your ear. When you were finally calm enough to look up at him, you did so. “There you are,” he smiled at you. “You’re okay.” 
“I’m okay. Your hand--”
“I’m okay--” He assured you, but you flipped his hand over in your own anyways. It’s swollen. 
“You need ice.” You said, standing up and crossing to the freezer. 
“You need to sit down before you fall.” Aaron stood up to follow you, shaking his head. 
“I took my deep breaths, Hotch. I’m not an eighty year old woman.” You chastised him as you pulled a few ice cubes out of the freezer, putting them in a plastic bag and wrapping a paper towel around it. 
“My hand is fine.” He argued with you as you pressed the ice pack to his knuckles. 
“You are in absolutely no position to argue with me about letting someone else take care of you, hypocrite.” You fought back, with nothing but concern behind it. 
“Okay, fine, but can you sit down, please.” He begged of you. 
“Don’t I owe the rest of the team an explanation for all of that?” 
“They can wait. Sit down.” He said, and it was no longer a request. You sat down in the seat across from him. “How’s your head?” 
‘It’s been better.” You tell him honestly. 
“Take a few more deep breaths, please.” He tells you, and you roll your eyes. 
“Hotch, I’m--”
“You’re holding your breath. Your shoulders are practically touching your ears. Plus, it would make my hand feel better.” He says, shooting you a grin that would be wholly inappropriate for the situation if it didn’t make you feel so at ease.
You roll your eyes at him in mock-contempt, taking the breaths to appease him and dropping your shoulders. “How is your hand, seriously?” 
“I’m fine. I’ve thrown my fair share of punches.” He smirked at you, still trying to distract you, to lighten the mood. “We can just leave. You must need more pain meds, if not a nap. We don’t have to get into all of it today.” 
“Well, they all basically know now. We should probably just go to clear the air that I’m not sleeping with you for a promotion.”
“If you’re not up to it, we can--”
“No, Hotch.” You stand up, shaking your head at him through a smile. “Let’s go get it over with.” 
 The team, of course, didn’t need you to explain that all of what Josh had said was false. Your integrity and the trust shared between all of you was louder than any stupid asshole that could bluster in through those glass doors. You’d cried all of your makeup off, so your black eye was now fully exposed to the team. Aaron left a protective hand on the small of your back the whole time you spoke, never once speaking over you or interrupting. As soon as you finished, you felt silly for ever thinking you needed to hide this from them-- they were supportive without being pitying, and JJ, Emily and Garcia had wrapped you up in hugs just as soon as you finally got it all off your chest. 
“We’re going to head out, obviously call us if there’s an urgent case notification.” Aaron explained to the team. “You all should feel free to leave as soon as your paperwork is done.”
“Hotch, I’m really fine,” you tried to insist. 
“Are you gonna tell the team they have to keep working?” Aaron quirked an eyebrow at you and you scowled, knowing there was no going back now. “I’m just going to pack some of my stuff up.” He told you, turning back to his office. You followed suit, going to your desk and tidying up. 
“Hey, cupcake.” Morgan whistled to get your attention before crossing the bullpen to get to you. “If I had known--if I had seen that bruise on your face before he walked in here -- I would have taken him down myself. Hotchner showed an... impressive amount of restraint.” He told you with a humorless chuckle. 
“Thank you, Derek. But he’s not worth it, seriously.” You told him with a smile. 
“No, he’s not.” He agreed. “But you are. Don’t you forget that, okay? If you need anything, I’m here.” 
Instead of responding verbally, you pushed yourself up onto your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. He wrapped his arms around you snugly, crushing you into his chest. It hurt, a little, but the overwhelming security you found with him holding you was far stronger than any pain.
You pulled away and bid your goodnights to the team, following Aaron out to the car taking off towards his apartment. 
“You were really brave back there. I’m proud of you. As your friend, not your boss. Or, I guess as your friend and your boss.” He tells you, taking one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze yours briefly. 
“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” you rolled your eyes with a small smirk. 
“There’s always a choice. You chose to get out, and you chose to let your team in. That’s not nothing.” He told you as he parked the car in front of his place.
 “Thank you,” you said, choosing to accept the compliment even though you didn’t believe him. Aaron saw it in your eyes, but he let it slide. You’d see, eventually.  At her pace, he reminded himself. 
“I was thinking I’d cook tonight. Do you have anything particular in mind?” He asked as you settled into the apartment, hanging up your coats. 
“Aaron Hotchner, you can cook?” You laughed, turning around and beaming at him. He couldn’t help but return your smile. 
“I’m not Dave, but I manage.” He said coyly. 
“I’m sure whatever you make will be delicious.” You told him graciously. “And I’m very excited to try it.”
He tossed you an orange from the bowl of fruit on his counter, and then your pain meds. “Go take a nap.”
“Hotch, I’m---”
“Nope, I don’t want to hear it. I let you spend six hours squinting at screens and paperwork under fluorescents. None of that was good for your head. Go.” 
You rolled your eyes at him goodnaturedly before going to the guest room, stripping your work clothes off in favor of a pair of sweats and an FBI Academy t-shirt. Truth be told, everything that had gone down at work had been exhausting, and it wasn’t long before you fell asleep. 
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