#very. VERY loosely based on that star wars meme
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The preview, a summary
#i had to#i felt the urge in my BONES#very. VERY loosely based on that star wars meme#markwen#mark/ou wen#love is science?#lis?#lian ai shi ke xue#戀愛是科學#silly boy mark
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Disney World with The Brothers (+ Undateables)
HCs that no one asked for, i’m just self indulgent ✨
Link To The Brothers post
*Based on Disney World Orlando Resort*
The Undateables
Luke 👼
“Don’t hold my hand i’m not a child!”
Would grab your hand in excitement
“I don’t want to go on that boat ride it’s for babies!”
When no one else could hear, holding his arms behind his back whilst running his foot along the ground, blushing furiously -
“MC... will you take me on the ride, please?”
Cotton candy. Loves it. Would get it all over his fingers and all around his mouth.
Would be unable to hide The Brightest Smile TM when that Disney music plays and he sees the castle in Magic Kingdom
“Want to go on Whinnie the Poo?” “That’s a Baby Ride! >:(“
Goes on and LOVES IT
Has sooo much fun just getting to be a kid, holds nothing back after a little encouragement from you
You and Simeon look like his parents when you sit either side of him on a ride lol
Would be desperate to stay even when the park closes
“:’(“ “Hey, it’s ok! We’ll get to see another park tomorrow!” “:D”
Would hold onto yours and Simeon’s hand, humming the theme to Pirate’s of the Caribbean as you leave
“Did you have fun? I thought you didn’t like boat rides.” “That was a scary boat ride - the pirates were horrible.” Blush - deniaalll lol
Would berate you heavily if you tried to get him any kind of toy
Would take the toy home and never let go
Simeon 😇
“What’s a Mickey Mouse? I’m still new to this”
Always smiling and loves that he’s experiencing this with you and Luke
He LOVES Soarin’ as it feels like home but better, as he’s ‘flying’ with you
Trolls Diavolo into going on It’s a Small World After All and acts Innocent TM
Seems pleased enough, enjoys the experience but it’s made better by the company
Makes sure everyone has their belongings and is drinking plenty of water
“Do you need me to grab that for you, MC? I can hold it whilst you go on the ride with Luke?”
Asks Directions TM. Maps don’t work for this boi lol and he gets easily lost lmao
Wouldn’t purposefully ignore The Mom’s Itinerary but inexplicably keeps wandering off, eventually being found with an apologetic smile on his face
Doesnt understand you have to queue to get on until he gets told for the billionth time
Holds your hand as you both marvel at the fireworks, Luke on his shoulders with icecream
Gets Luke an autograph book and gets it signed by all the characters when Luke’s too proud or nervous to himself
“Yes there he is, Luke. He’d love a photograph. Luke? Luke!” *Luke blushing furiously from behind your arm* “SHUT UP SIMEON”
Looks the cutest when in character photos
Realises just how much fun he had when your on the way back from the park
Solomon 🧙♂️
Vlogs with Levi sometimes together sometimes separate, but his is more of a troll vlog
To Lucifer on camera - “WHAT ARE THOSE” “They are my crocs! >:(“
Goes FULL HAM TM with you by his side, it’s absolute chaos this boi does NOT run out of energy or things he wants to do
“I wanna go on Jurrassic Park” “... Solomon that’s at Universal.”
Would sneak you away from the brothers, would be very crafty about it to, no one would suspect a thing until it’s been hours since.
Would take the consequences with a nonchalant smile. Does. Not. Regret. A. Thing.
“Itinerary? What’s that?”
“The only good thing about Animal Kingdom is the Mount Everest ride.”
Claims he’s easy breezy about going/where to go in the parks
Actually has very specific favourites and dislikes
“But you said -“ “Yea but who the hell means it when you decide ‘It’s a Small World’” *eyeroll*
Still goes on the ride, and vlogs a meme out if it
Him and Levi SQUEAL at anything Star Wars
When no one is watching, he intesifies the fireworks with magic, watching you beam with amazement is what makes his day
Will try to sneak in a kiss during the fireworks
Barbatos 🕰
It’s the first time you see him smile, like a genuine smile
Is very quiet and is mostly there because of Diavolo, but rather enjoys the atmosphere
Surprisingly loves water rides
Despite being there because of Diavolo, Diavolo urges Butler Barb to let loose and have fun
He does to a degree but never falters his sense of decorum
Similarly to The Mom TM, would be very prepared. Need a napkin? Check. Anti bac? Check. Map? You got it.
When you decide to ride with him, his facade would falter, glancing around BAFFED
“Are - are you sure you want to ride with me, MC? Or did you mistake me for -“ “... Oh, ok.”
Suppresses the intense blush he feels at the revelation that you did, in fact, intend to ride with him
When he relaxes, may occasionally casually hold your hand, making you double take at his nonchalance
Would indulge himself with viewing the experiences you share in the different timelines in which you still go together
“MC, i’m taking you to dinner. If you’d like of course.”
Would be such a gentlemen and so relaxed at night, out of habit when he’s not with Diavolo, he can just simply be himself.
Will hold your hand as you watch the fireworks at dinner. A smirk on his lips before planting a lingering kiss on your cheek to both startle and excite you
Diavolo 👑
“Disney world?! DISNEY WORLD?! That is the no.1 place for your dreams to come true!”
Sincerely believes that is literal
That Laugh TM with his arms spread wide as he sees the Park entrance
Takes photos everywhere, even infront of a trash can - initially thinking “it’s a part of the experience!”
Gets too excited to follow Lucifer’s Itinerary
“Diavolo! You’re not supposed to climb onto the parade floats!”
Would scoop you up onto his back without warning, a ball of energy as he bounces around the park with you this way
“Wow! What is this delicacy?! It’s delicious!” “That’s just a Mickey shaped napkin, Diavolo...”
Would buy all of the balloons from the vendor, looking like a lunatic
“Where’s he gonna keep all those -“ “Don’t even ask.”
That one person who actually enjoys It’s A Small World After All. Sings along and doesnt stop for the rest of the day
Would wear several sets of Mickey ears at once, not realising or caring that it’s not how they’re meant to be worn
“Oh? Of course we can ride together, MC!”
Would smile that much more brightly as you suck up the enjoyment alongside him like a couple of sponges!
“That - that’s not a ride Diavolo -“ “But we must ride this monorail. It is a part of the experience!”
If he’s feeling comfortable, will wrap a strong arm around your waist, pointing out Tinkerbell to you when he spots her before the start of the fireworks
The link to the first post with The Brothers is above! Will edit both but have them for now and again, I hope these make you smile! ☺️✨
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me shall we date#om! swd#Obey me Luke#Obey Me Simeon#Obey Me Solomon#Obey Me Barbatos#Obey me Diavolo#om! Luke#om! simeon#om! solomon#om! barbatos#om! diavolo#Obey me Brothers#Disney Headcanons
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WIP folder meme :)
Thank you @isfjmel-phleg and @fictionadventurer for tagging me!! I don’t have everything in one place (it is a Huge mess at the moment) but here is a list of the main projects I’ve added notes to/thought extensively about over the past year:
ORIGINAL WORK/NOVELS (sadly most of them ARE untitled):
Project 1 (tentatively titled Garden of Dreams): about the kindness of strangers, finding joy again, the coming of spring
Project 2: a loose Snow Queen retelling in an original fairy tale fantasy world
Project 3: hero training academy in a post-war world where dragons and monsters are no longer the main threat; the kids who join the school must save the world by learning to take care of the earth and the people in it
Project 4: in an Southeast Asian-inspired country, a young girl from the countryside is forced into marrying the self-absorbed crown prince and decides to use the new power she has as the new queen to be kind and to do good
Project 5: a girl and her grandmother embark on a journey to defeat a returning evil
FILM/SHOW ADAPTATIONS:
Anne of the Island (miniseries)
Little Women, with more of an emphasis on the girls’ moral and character development: equal attention paid to all four sisters (in particular: Meg’s post-marriage joys and sorrows, Beth’s personality and her interactions with her sisters)
Mansfield Park, but you get more of Fanny’s perspective: things that she sees and observes (people’s behaviour and physical cues, nature, things that enchant her)--brief internal narration/monologues when she’s mulling over something beautiful or distressing, highlighting her social anxiety and shyness but also her emotional intelligence and the clarity of how she discerns right and wrong; we are Not making excuses for Mr. Crawford, OH and many things communicated visually (Fanny wears muted colours, whereas the other characters are dressed in brighter--sometimes even garishly bright--clothes)
THINGS I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT WHEN I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO WORK ON ACTUAL PROJECTS
Star Wars sequel trilogy rewritten with All my bizarre ideas (including--please don’t laugh, this is a writing exercise I use for self-indulgence--friendship between Rose and Ben, Rey’s parents were part of the Resistance and were ordinary people fighting for what they believed in, Ben has a prodigal son storyline, Leia and Han are still together but they work on different bases, Finn is a storm trooper for MUCH longer and has killed as a storm trooper--when he returns undercover to start a storm trooper revolt he tells his old friends and colleagues that it isn’t too late to choose the right thing. There is No Chosen One, only ordinary people who choose to do the right thing (Rogue One style). Rey and Finn are both Force-sensitive; the story is about: 1) identity and belonging (Rey/Finn/Poe/Rose/Ben all ache for love and acceptance in their character arcs, all of them find that. Also none of them die, thanks), 2) personal responsibility and agency (Finn’s decision to give up the life of a storm trooper, Rey deciding to fight for the Resistance not because of her parents’ choices but out of her own volition, Rose choosing to forgive Ben even though he plays a larger role in my version in Paige’s death). Everyone is guilty of sin (Finn’s actions while he was a storm trooper, Rose holds deep hatred towards the people responsible for her sister’s death, Ben’s reason for turning to the Dark Side involved murdering his twin--I don’t know much about the Thrawn trilogy but I thought it was interesting how there are multiple sets of twins in the Skywalker family. In my version, Ben is responsible for the death of his twin sister when they’re both very young) and learns the full weight of consequences and of the freedom that grace and forgiveness and love gives them. Also I really like the idea of Rey, Finn, and Ben fighting off Main Bad Guy together at the climax of the third movie. He’s defeated by Rey (an ordinary girl, no Skywalker or Palpatine legacy attached), Finn (one of his former lackeys, who has turned to the other side, and is training to become a Jedi), and Ben (his former apprentice, who has returned to the side of light). Main theme: choosing love over hatred, kindness over cruelty, forgiveness over revenge
Rogue One modern AU where Cassian works at a bakery with his friend Kay. Jyn runs a book shop during the day and offers her services as a mechanic after hours. He makes cupcakes for themed events at her shop. Bodhi is her adopted brother. Chirrut and Baze were their professors in university, as well as old family friends, and they get first dibs on new releases at Jyn’s shop.
Agents of SHIELD but in the A:TLA universe; the Avatar cycle was interrupted, and Cal unwittingly helped Jiaying ‘create’ a new Avatar through extensive experimentation (Daisy is the ‘new’ Avatar, though her powers aren’t activated until later on. She has to deal with new strains of bending and mutations her parents made: Ward can shadowbend, for example)
the characters in Shadow and Bone but in Bayern
this one story I wrote in ninth grade: post-Civil War, Bucky is taken to the Avengers Tower to recuperate and becomes friends with everyone
Tagging @called-kept, @magpie-trove, @imissthembutitwasntadisaster, @madamescarlette if you would like to!!!
#i got a little carried away at the end slfjskl;djk ;#that's because i HAVE given the star wars idea much more thought than necessary. i have around eight pages of notes for that one#thank you for tagging me! :D#songbird and stories
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The Baby Yoda Show! (Featuring The Mandalorian)
When Disney announced it would be doing a live action “Star Wars” show on Disney+, people went nuts. And then, when the show aired, they lost their collective minds. I’m not gonna waste time pretending you don’t know where this is going. You have the internet, so you know all about Baby Yoda, also called “The Child,” or, occasionally, his actual name, “Grogu.” This review’s all about everyone’s favorite adorable baby, specifically, “The Retro Collection” figure of The Child.
Okay, most people know what Baby Yoda is, but if you don’t or you want to know more than just “he’s the adorable green dude from all the memes,” then this is the paragraph for you! Please note, there are some spoilers for the first two seasons of “The Mandalorian” in this paragraph. Skip it if that bothers you. You won’t miss any details on the toy itself. The name “Baby Yoda” comes from the fact this character is a baby belonging to the same species as the Jedi Master Yoda, and is never called that in the show. Most of his merch calls him “The Child,” and his name isn’t even revealed until season 2. The Mandalorian, a badass bounty hunter, is hired to bring The Child to some truly nasty people, but has a change of heart, rescues the kid, becomes his surrogate father, and sets off on a quest to return him to the Jedi, all the while filling my heart with so much love that I have broken down crying several times per season, because their family bond is a beautiful, well-written thing.
If you skipped the last paragraph to dodge spoilers, welcome back. If you never left at all, then hi again. Let’s talk about “The Retro Collection,” now. So years ago, when they were first released, “Star Wars” toys actually looked really different than they do now. There was less articulation, the sculpting was different, and even the way the accessories worked was different. For example, the original Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader toys had their lightsabers inside their arms, and the blades could be extended out of their arms, so kids couldn’t drop the blades and spend hours of their days looking for them, until Mom vacuumed them up and the major accessories were lost forever. Those were a simpler, and in some ways, a better time. “The Retro Collection” is a toyline that consists of the original figures, rereleased to rake in that fan money. For “The Mandalorian,” though, they did something a little different. Hasbro produced brand new figures done in the style of those original toys!
And that, friends, brings us to “The Child.” He’s the smallest figure in the entire Retro Collection, which makes sense on account of the fact that he is, well, a child. However, he’s got the same $10 retail price as everyone else in the Retro Collection. That’s because The Child comes with his floating crib, a stand for the crib so it can be at the level of other figures in the line, and a frog for The Child to devour, with all the bloodlust and hunger an infant is capable of.
Baby Yoda: fresh from starring in 30 or so memes your aunt shared on Facebook.
The crib consists of four parts: the two parts of the stand, the crib, and the canopy for the crib. The canopy is a separate piece that has to be removed to put The Child in the crib or remove him. The canopy attaches solidly, though it can be removed easily, which is great, because you want it to attach, but not be so loose that a gust of wind takes it out. The crib’s connection to the stand is very strong, which is really good, since you don’t want to drop the baby. Dropping babies is how you get the kind of people who don’t believe in vaccinations.
The crib has one problem that drives me nuts. There is nothing in it that secures the child. There’s no peg, no pillow, nothing to secure the little devil. If you move the crib, you can hear him rattle around in there. On the upside, the amount of space in the crib means there’s room for The Child and his frog. Though this probably isn’t so great from the prospective of the frog.
The Child himself is a great figure of The Child. He’s very small, to scale with the figure of The Mandalorian, adorable, and pretty much exactly what you’d expect. This does have a few downsides, though. Because of The Child’s small size and design, his articulation is limited, even by the standards of the Retro Collection. Basically, he has no legs. He’s got great balance, though, which makes sense, since his body ends in a smooth base. He’s also got small hands, which makes it impossible for him to hold his frog. Though, that probably works out from the prospective of the frog, which has no articulation. The Child has a moving neck and moving shoulders.
HE’S SO DAMN TINY AND CUTE!!!
This figure, and the rest of the Retro Collection are intended for older collectors, specifically those who grew up with the original “Star Wars” toys. However, the figures are such accurate replications of those old toys that they work great for kids. The packaging indicates they’re for ages 4 and up, though, remember, kids like to put things in their mouths, and this figure and one of his accessories are very small. So use your best judgement if you’re considering this as a gift for a kid. If you’re no longer at the age where you put toys in your mouth, then you probably have less to fear. This is a nice figure and an excellent addition to your “Star Wars” collection.
#Star Wars#the mandalorian#Mandalorian#Baby Yoda#The Child#Grogu#toys#Toy#Action Figure#Action Figures#Review#Toy Review#Reviews#Toy Reviews#Retro Collection#Retro#Retro Toys#Retro Toy#Star Wars Retro#Star Wars Retro Collection
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Hi, hope you're doing well! My friends and I (4-5 people usually) have been playing Ten Candles for the past few weeks as a get together, and we're looking to branch out as the Halloween season ends. I have a little list of ideas (systems like All Outta Bubblegum and Lasers and Feelings) but I feel like there are amazing systems I just don't know about. Would you have any suggestions? Thank you so much in advance!
Depends. Based on the examples you’ve given, I see two common threads:
Structured, scene-based play with a focus on resource management
Designed primarily for one-shot/zero prep sessions
Let’s take the first one (i.e., structured scenes and resource focus) as given just for the sake of narrowing the field. As for the second, were you interested in doing more one-shot games, or did you have something more suitable for longer campaigns in mind?
Assuming you want to stick to one-shot mode:
The Dance and the Dawn - A Gothic fairy tale romance concerning the unfortunate Ladies of Ash, come to the Ice Queen’s palace to court the enigmatic Lords of Ice. The players – who take on the roles of the Ladies – pursue their goal via tactical ballroom dancing, represented by pieces on a chess board. A good one to check out if you enjoy courtly politics, Byronic angst, and/or very unconventional mechanics. (And yes, the text explicitly permits female Lords of Ice, so you can totally play it gay.)
Fiasco – A collaborative, GMless game about people with big ambitious and extremely poor planning skills. You know that “the risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math” meme? This is that game. Uses semi-pregenerated scenarios called “Playsets” where the group randomly selects elements from a series of tables, then brainstorms the actual scenario based on those cues.
Henshin - If you’ve seen any of the various Power Rangers shows, you know what this is about. Rather than using dice, each playable archetype sets forth a slate of “strong” and “weak” moves, which either cost or yield tokens (respectively) when you work them into your narration. The website is currently in flux pending the release of a proper core rulebook early next year, thanks to a successful Kickstarter campaign, but the original pay-what-you-want PDF remains available here.
Our Last Best Hope - A GMless game about a group of heroic scientists out to save the world from some huge existential threat, in the style of movies like Sunshine and The Core. Big on player mortality, to the point that even successfully averting the crisis usually results in a total party kill! An experienced group can shoot through a scenario in as little as two hours, though you’ll probably need at least twice as long when you’re starting out.
The Shab-al-Hiri Roach - A GMless, competitive game of campus politics in a small New England college town that’s been infested by a soul-eating telepathic cockroach from the dawn of civilisation. The GM role is replaced by several decks of print-and-play cards, representing both social opportunities and the mind-warping commandments of the Roach – the latter written in ancient Sumerian! (With English subtitles.)
Finally, The Storybrewers Free Game Library offers a number of great options for GMless one-shot play in both co-op and competitive modes. My personal favourites are To the Temple of Doom! (action archaeologists in the style of Indiana Jones and The Mummy) and Dynasty (good old-fashioned political backstabbery, where each player takes on the role of an entire faction rather than a single character).
As for titles focused on longer campaigns (or that just have sufficiently complicated rules and time-consuming prep that you’d need to spend several sessions learning the ropes before one-shot play is really feasible):
Blades in the Dark - Another game from the creators of Lasers & Feelings, this one about criminal gangs carrying off heists in a city where the sun never rises. Uses flashback mechanics to avoid getting bogged down in the planning stage, paired an in-depth downtime system for quickly sketching out what your characters get up to between capers. If grimdark isn’t your think, there’s also a very thinly disguised Star Wars hack called Scum & Villainy.
Good Society - This is Storybrewers’ flagship title, a GMless comedy of manners loosely inspired by the work of Jane Austen. You can run it in one-shot mode in theory, but the cycle of play is complex enough – there’s literally a letter-writing phase! – that even short scenarios are liable to stretch over multiple sessions when you’re just starting out, which is why I’m putting it in the “longer campaigns” bin.
Legacy: Life Among the Ruins - A generational post-apoc game where players takes on the roles of entire families (which can include cults, gangs or paramilitary groups as well as actual dynasties of blood). Each session, players “zoom in” and create members of their family to deal with a particular crisis; once it’s over, they “zoom out” and advance to the next generation. In this way, Legacy is like a serial one-shot game: you never play the same character twice, but all of your characters are tied together by your family’s history.
Mythender - This one’s elevator pitch is simple: what if everybody was Kratos from God of War? A good one for players who enjoy rolling great thundering handfuls of dice, which you’ll need rather a lot of. Included in the “longer campaigns” list for much the same reason as Good Society – i.e., you need a fair amount of experience with the system to get through more than a handful of scenes in a session of any reasonable length.
Polaris: Chivalric Tragedy at Utmost North - A fairy tale tragedy about heroic knights doomed to betray their people and die alone and forgotten. This one’s basically the opposite of GMless: it uses a rotating protagonist framework whereby each scene effectively has one player and many GMs! Other standout features include the use of ritual phrases for conflict resolution, with dice being used only if an irresovable impasse arises. Fair warning: wants exactly four players.
With Great Power - A superhero RPG that concerns itself with emulating the narrative structure of superhero comics, rather than merely simulating their settings. More of a guided collaborative writing exercise than a game per se, with the dice being used primarily to determine the tone of the narration rather than to resolve success or failure at particular tasks.
I’m going to limit this post to half-a-dozen plugs in each category so as not to go on forever; if anything I’ve touched on especially grabs your attention, let me know and I’ll see what else I can come up with along similar lines.
(Oh, and since the question always comes up: of the cited games, Mythender, The Shab-al-Hiri Roach and everything in the Storybrewers’ library apart from Good Society are free, and Henshin is currently pay-what-you-want.)
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#tabletop rpg recommendations#violence mention#death mention#insects mention#littlelionkai
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Writing meme
I was tagged by @glorious-spoon!
Author Name: ephemera/incognitajones plus an older pseud I don't use much anymore
Fandoms You Write For: At the moment, basically just Star Wars (the sequel trilogy & Rogue One) plus the occasional old/tiny/obscure book fandoms for Yuletide.
I feel a bit ridiculous still writing for a one-shot movie that killed off all the protagonists, especially since people these days tend to drop fandoms much faster. But I can't switch over to the cool new thing easily. I'm a hopeless serial monogamist when it comes to fandoms; if I find one I love, I stick with it forever.
Where You Post: AO3, with the occasional snippet on Tumblr
Most Popular One-Shot: when you move, I move with you Unsurprising! It's tropey PWP, which will always get hits, if fewer comments.
Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Last Train This one's a modern AU posted in 2016, so it's had time to rack up an impressive hit count (also, that was before modern AUs overran the pairing, so it had the value of novelty).
Favourite Story You Wrote: For sentimental value, let's say my first longfic. Not only was it one of the first stories I ever tried to write, it was about an OFC (first strike according to conventional fanfic wisdom) and written in the first person (second strike). It's definitely not my strongest work in terms of structure or prose, but I learned so much from writing it and I'm still a little proud of the fact that as a very inexperienced writer I had the chutzpah to I just go for it.
Story You Were Nervous to Post: All of them! My publication anxiety has gotten considerably worse lately.
How Do You Choose Your Titles: Occasionally I can think of a short, clever one based on a thematic metaphor or pun. Usually, I throw up my hands & search for a semi-suitable song lyric or line of poetry. When I find a good one, it works well--most of the time it's more "eh, this has some vague connection, good enough."
Do You Outline: The loose, bullet point variety. I still get lost in the mushy middle.
Complete: On AO3, 123 works across both pseuds. A few dozen more scattered across FF.net, LiveJournal, and older single-fandom archives lost to the mists of time.
In-Progress: Counting only works with significant wordcounts, right now:
2 shorter pieces for anonymous gift exchanges
Filling the Role, a longer sequel to Playing the Part from Jyn's POV
the last 3 chapters of True and False
the last 3 chapters of A Presence of Departed Acts
the final chapter of disassemble my despair (which has been on hold for almost two years)
...yikes. At least the last two will be finished before TROS drops, I swear!
Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:
an Xmas romcom! It's been a long time since I wrote something light and sweet, and I've never tried anything Xmas-themed, so I thought it would be fun (of course, since this is me we're talking about, it's still going to deal in part with grieving the loss of a family member)
the Reylo marriage of convenience modern AU
the angsty accidental Force bond Jyn/Cassian fic, in which no-one understands what's happening at first
Do You Accept Prompts: Yes, though I make no promises about filling them in a timely fashion.
Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: The Force bond fic! I keep thinking of new scenes & lines and having to jot them down.
No-pressure tagging @skitzofreak, @cats-and-metersticks, @classeyspanks @rain-sleet-snow @imsfire2, and anyone else who feels like it!
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Not So Different
5 things that are different between Spider-verses
1
The Spider-people kept in touch once they realised they could universe hop. Miles hung out mostly with Gwen and Peter B. They went for snacks, and walks in the park, and helped each other on patrols.
After a few weeks, Peter B invited Miles and Gwen over to his apartment to watch Star Wars. His universe was very bright, Miles thought. It was hard to see how the depressed Peter B could come from a world so full of colour. If Miles had his markers, he would love to sit in Central Park and sketch.
Peter’s apartment was cleaner than the first time Miles had been there. The dishes were put away and there was more than cold pizza in the fridge. It was obvious B was making an effort for MJ. They had been talking, Peter said. Miles was confident they’d be together again by the end of the year.
Gwen and Miles took the couch. Peter threw himself on the rug.
“Floor’s better for my back,” he said.
The movie started. Miles kept sneaking glances at Gwen in the blue light of the TV.
“I thought C3PO was silver.”
“Shh.”
“Ian McKellen played Obi Wan in my ‘verse.”
“Shut up.”
The comments gradually died off as the movie progressed. Miles was trying to figure out how he could casually sling his arm over Gwen’s shoulder without Peter noticing. He started to creep his fingers over the back of the couch.
They’d reached that pinnacle moment of the movie. “No… I am your father.”
Gwen say bolt upright and screamed. “Holy crap! He’s Anakin?”
Miles startled, almost toppling off the couch.
“I thought you said you’d seen this?” Peter asked without looking.
Gwen grabbed Miles’ arm. “Why is Vader not Padme?”
“Padme?”
“Luke I am your mother!” She yelled, waving at the TV. “What is this?”
Peter and Miles exchanged a glance. “Do you have a different Star Wars?”
Peter interrupted. “Gwen, tell us Darth Vader’s Story.”
Gwen took a gulp of breath and started, “Okay, so Padme fakes her death in childbirth and vows vengeance on the Jedi for killing Anakin and she becomes Darth Vader. She raised Leia but she thought Luke was dead until they meet up again.”
Miles sat in stunned silence. “That’s not how this one goes.”
Gwen flapped her hands, “But then where’s the battle for the crown?”
“What crown?”
“Leila’s a princess, and Luke should be a prince, yes? But they’re twins and no one knows who was born first so they don’t know who is supposed to get the throne.”
Peter frowned. “Does Padme not know which child was born first?”
Gwen scowled, “She was a little busy giving birth to the second. It’s one of the greatest mysteries of Star Wars!”
She stared back and forth between their baffled expressions. “The whole second trilogy is based around the Skywalker crown.”
“Your Star Wars sounds way better than ours.”
2
Gwen had to laugh when Peter B told her Tony Stark was a hero in his ‘verse. In her universe Tony Stark was the playboy billionaire creator of Starkbucks, the overpriced coffee chain.
Miles glared at the chalkboard menu on the Starkbucks patio.
“Pineapple should only ever be on pizza.” Miles spat.
Gwen sipped her pineapple mango frappuccino. “I like it.”
“Pineapple in drinks is weird.”
“I don’t get it man. It’s a fruit.” Peter said.
“So’s a tomato.” Miles shot back.
Peter drank his black coffee and made a face. Served him right. No one came to Starkbucks for real coffee.
Gwen waited until Miles took a big gulp of his drink, “In my universe we put pineapple in spaghetti.”
The spray of caramel chip macchiato was wide and satisfying.
3
Miles lay back on his bed and spoke into the phone. “You’re working in Hell’s Kitchen tonight?”
“Yeah,” Gwen sighed over the speaker.
“Why don’t you ask Daredevil for help?”
The phone was silent for so long Miles thought the universal signal must have dropped.
“I’m not going to Murderdock.”
“What?” Miles sat bolt upright. “Why do you call him that?”
“He’s a murderer. The kingpin of New York.”
“Holy crap,” Miles breathed. He couldn’t match mild mannered Matt Murdock with Daredevil most nights. Nevermind thinking of him as a criminal mastermind.
“Wait, what happened to the real Kingpin? Wilson Fisk?”
“Murdock killed him.”
“Matt, no.” Miles groaned.
“You know yours?” Gwen asked.
“Yeah, he’s a lawyer. And he’s blind.”
“So’s mine. Blind lawyer criminal scumbag.”
“Gwen, I’m so sorry.” Miles loved his Matt Murdock. Guy was a puppy dog until you let him loose on the streets in his costume. He brought Miles snacks on their team-ups. He had a laugh like a seal barking.
Miles scrubbed a hand over his face. “It seems like all my heroes are their worst selves in your ‘verse.”
“Yeah…” Gwen trailed off. Miles fidgeted.
“Gwen?”
“What if this is the worst universe?” She asked quietly. “What if I’m the worst Spider-person?”
“You’re not,” Miles assured her.
“But you’re right. I’ve got no Iron Man, and Captain America hates me, Daredevil’s a criminal, Harry turned himself into a monster, and Peter…”
“I’m sorry,” Miles could think of nothing else to say.
“I just,” Gwen’s breath hitched. “I just need one person to be on my side. Just one.”
Miles’ heart skipped. “You’ve got me.” It passed like a confession over his lips.
A soft glow pulsed next to his head. A white gloved hand pushed through the light. Miles took it and pulled. Gwen fell through the tear in the universe. Miles wrapped her in a hug as her shoulders shook.
4
Miles was jumping to visit Peter B’s Central Park. Peter didn’t see how the park could be any different from his, but Miles insisted.
“The colours are different. Like, more saturated,” he tried to explain. Peter didn’t get it. But he took Miles and Gwen tagged along. They stopped for ice cream and watched the ducks while Miles scribbled in his notebook. This was nice. Peter leaned back on the bench with a kid on either side.
Miles tossed his ice cream trash in the bin. “Yeet.”
Gwen scoffed. “It’s yote.”
“It’s not.”
“Do you seriously say Yeet?” Gwen leaned around Peter to make a disgusted face at Miles.
“Yes,” Miles closed his notebook.
“I think I just threw up in my mouth.”
“Wait, what about Kobe?”
“Kobe?” Peter was lost.
“For accuracy?”
“No, it’s Lebron,” Gwen corrected.
“I love Lebron James,” Miles said the name in a weird voice.
Gwen scowled. “I recognise the meme you’re trying to do, but it’s Serena Williams.”
“No!” Miles groaned.
“What do you have against the greatest basketball player of all time?”
“She plays basketball?” Peter asked.
“Yeah. The Raptors won the championship because of her.” Huh. Remind Peter to ask if she played women’s basketball or if the NBA was a mixed gender sport.
“She’s a tennis player here.” Peter offered.
“She’s a swimmer in my ‘verse.” Miles nodded.
“No!”
“Wait, what about the pikachu reaction meme?” Miles asked to Peter’s bewilderment.
“Oh, ‘cause of the face he just made?” Gwen poked Peter’s cheek. He batted her away. “It’s not pikachu, it’s bulbasaur.”
Miles nodded. “Ok, cool. What about Galaxy brain?”
Peter stood up and walked away. The two could bicker about internet fads all they wanted. He was going to feed the ducks.
5
“What do you mean penguins are extinct?” Peter gasped.
“I don’t know, man,” Miles held his hands up. “There was an earthquake and Antarctica sank or flooded or whatever and now there’s no penguins except in captivity.”
Peter scrutinized Miles through squinted eyes. The kid liked to mess with him. Penguins couldn’t be extinct, right? That was a joke?
“Um, can you put me down?”
Peter hadn’t even realised he’d lifted Miles up by the front of his hoodie. Peter carefully set Miles back on his feet.
“When did this happen?” Peter demanded.
“I don’t know,” Miles shrugged. “Like, thirty years ago?”
Peter gasped. “Does that mean you’ve never seen a penguin?”
“Um, no?”
“Field trip,” Peter grabbed Miles’ arm and yanked him through the space between universes. If he focused, he could materialise them right outside the zoo gates. Actually, they should grab Gwen too. Did her universe have penguins? Who cared. The zoo was the perfect place for the kiddies to get closer. Peter could just slip away while they were watching the gorillas or whatever, and presto, instant date. Peter smiled to himself. He was such a good matchmaker.
#spiderverse#into the spiderverse#spiderman#peter b parker#miles molares#spidergwen#gwen stacy#star wars#penguin#pineapple#memes#fanfic#fanfiction#marvel#sony
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Resbang 2015 Throwbacks, Week 5
Time to get hype for this year’s Resbang, and what better way to do so than to check out the ghosts of Resbangs Past!
Come say hi to this year’s participants and mods on Discord!
This year’s schedule can be found here: beep
Check out these entries from resbang 2015!
[M] Coin Operated Boy [Stein/Marie]
Marie Mjolnir is an engineer working for Baba Yaga Enterprises (B.Y.E), a group currently holding the monopoly on their patented cyborg systems, created from years of now-illegal human experimentation. Marie, whose job is to find out how to synthesize emotions using these Cyborgs, would rather work her second job as a Vulture picking spare parts out of landfills for her resistance group. Yet, when Marie finds an abandoned cyborg, lacking both serial and model numbers, taking him in and finding out he has had his emotional receptors traumatically compromised, she realizes he could prove the catalyst for dismantling B.Y.E entirely. And as she begins to fall, both for the cyborg codenamed Franken Stein, as well as down the rabbit hole of his past, she realizes that, in love with a man who has to learn his feelings all over again, going after the person who hurt him in the first place is biting off more than she could ever hope to chew.
Warnings: Dystopia, Mentions of Prior Abuse, Torture
by author: @dollypopup
with artist: @legendaeriedere
Read it here: [ao3] [tumblr]
View it here: [tumblr]
[K+] Snowfall Never Lies [Soul/Maka]
Maka Albarn is the best personal assistant at Grigori Solutions. She’s a hard worker, well liked and inching closer to her ultimate goal of returning to school and becoming a business woman, just like her Mama. The road to her dreams isn’t an easy one, but nothing, not even kitschy office parties, a vendetta with the I.T. department, a flirty new employee or a mysterious food thief are going to keep her from achieving her goals, whatever they may be at winter’s end. Office AU
Warnings: none
by author: @Meisterful
with artist: @swordbreaker
and artist: @fist-first
Read it here: [ff.net]
View it here: [Swordbreaker06: [tumblr]] [Fist-first: [tumblr]]
[T] Maka’s Delivery Service [Maka & Soul, Stein/Marie, Tsubaki/Black Star]
Maka Albarn is a witch. Like the few who are able to use magic today, she follows a sacred tradition carried out for hundreds of years: when a young witch reaches the age of 13, she sets out to live in a town where no other witches reside to complete one year of independent training. On the day of her 13th birthday, Maka is packed and ready to go. She, with her trusty companion cat Blair, flies off for a year away from home in the big city.
Very loosely based off of “Kiki’s Delivery Service.” Will explore themes of friendship, abuse, near-death experiences, healing, and (of course) magic. Featuring gender neutral Crona, Stein and Marie expecting a little one, Wes living in the woods composing music, pretty much all the major characters making at least one small appearance, and some awful Google-Translated Swedish.
Warnings: mentions of abuse and neglect, blood, major character injury, hospitalization
by author: @tamashii-resonance
with artist: Smolscythe (@tinycatsandfruitsnacks)
Read it here: [ff.net] [ao3]
View it here: [dA 1, 2] [8tracks] [tumblr]
[T] Endeering [Soul/Maka, Stein/Marie, Tsubaki/Black Star, Anya/Tsugumi/Meme, Akane/Clay]
Stumbling upon a hidden society of centaurs, almost dying, and possibly making the biggest mistake of his life wasn’t exactly a part of Soul Evans’ plans. Yet, here he is- trying to integrate himself into this incredible world in the middle of a centuries-old war, falling in love with a magical creature, and finding out that all is not what it seems. The only thing left to wonder is- can a human really keep up and make a difference?
Warnings: swearing, violence, mild blood/gore, character death.
by author: @grigori-girl
with artist: @queen-korri
and artist: Makthemeister (@mrsashketchum)
Read it here: [ff.net]
View it here: [Queen Korri: soundcloud] [Makthemeister: tumblr]
[E] You Are the Wilderness [Stein/Marie]
Their idea of a good time wasn’t to be stuck in an enchanted spell-book. The Witch’s Grimoire was the last place they expected to end up in when Lord Death sent them on a group mission, but there they were. And, between the pig costumes, wandering into the woods with no sense of direction, being cast as the grandmother while being THE Death Scythe, and the fluffy wolf ears, Azusa, Marie, Spirit and Stein find themselves grumbling as they work their way through each story in hopes of coming out of it with some dignity still intact. But if Spirit pulled his tail one more time, Stein was going to dissect him, again: story-line be damned.
Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Canon Typical Violence, Bad Puns.
by author: @dollypopup
with artist: @soundofez
and artist: @chaoticlivi
Read it here: [ff.net][ao3]
View it here: [Soundofez: tumblr] [ChaoticLivi: tumblr (NSFW), dead link]
[T] Day-old Grease Stains [Black Star/ Death the Kid, minor Soul/Maka, Crona/Maka, Tsubaki/Liz, Stein/Spirit]
After several years of working at a failing branch of a multinational fast food franchise, Black☆Star still doesn’t know where he’s going with his life, or if he’s going anywhere at all. When a courtesy call from a government employee informs him that his estranged father has been sentenced to death, Black☆Star is forced to come to terms with the family he has, and to make the best of being directionless at 24. Avoiding fights is recommended, but not entirely feasible, and the end of the day it’s about friendship, found families, and not judging the new guy too harshly.
Warnings: Minor character death, alcohol use, brief mentions of gore
by author: @blackstar
with artist: @treeofjessie
Read it here: [ff.net][ao3]
View it here: [tumblr 1, 2, 3]
Some of the art is no longer at the links provided, because of the tumblr titty ban! If any of the artists, authors, or their partners see their resbang team is missing art, and they want to be included to the throwbacks (without titty), please shoot us a message!
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Reylo discourse post, it's a long one so feel free to scroll past
Remember when Tumblr was convinced that Rey from Star Wars was either A) a lesbian (which she can still very much be, of course) or B) Luke Skywalker's daughter or relative, so everyone decided by consensus that Reylo shipping is objectively homophobic and/or incestuous? To the point where this parody fanfic blew the fuck up and became a hotbed of discourse about fanworks and moral purity regarding taboo subject matter as a whole?
I remember being along for the ride at the time because I was trying to fit in, and that manifested in me blindly going along with the zeitgeist of the time - with that zeitgeist being along the lines of "Kylo Ren is a representation of toxic masculinity and is also probably Rey's cousin so this ship is irredeemably problematic". Of course, four years later, we're two movies into the new Star Wars trilogy and Rey has been said to just be a random force user with no blood relation to any of the classic cast.
There's room for J.J. Abrams to retcon The Last Jedi, and there's still exact, specific background elements for Rey they can get into, but as we stand now, Rey's backstory is that her parents were deadbeat nobodies who sold her for scraps. The question of who her parents really are is still up in the air, but I doubt it's going to be Luke after the events of the Last Jedi - and because of that, I feel like there's a whole lot of crow that remains uneaten from people who lorded this ship's apparent indecency over everyone's heads, who made the ship completely and utterly nuclear for anyone to even think about associating with, because they didn't like it.
We had a gaggle of toxic fans insisting that Rey and Kylo were related after one movie, and using the incest card to steamroll over the ship. That became the spearhead argument against it, with the discourse exploding into the ship being anti-feminist, or Adam Driver being ugly, or Rey somehow objectively being a lesbian so it would be problematic for anyone to ship her with a male character (and again, whether she's straight or gay or bi or ace to you - that's fine, and there's still room for her sexuality to be defined in the movies, but it's hardly an objective fact at the moment of writing this and it was hardly an objective fact in 2015). I understand why some people found the ship objectionable, and those reasons are valid to each individual or group of fans who share them. But there was a lot of talking in absolutes based on loose subtext at best, moral grandstanding, and a lot of beating down other fanfic writers and shippers who were just trying to have a good time with characters who weren't set in stone for them. I don't like that.
The Reylo fic I linked is fine, it's a meme even if it is ship bashing at the end there. I think it's antagonistic, and I don't think it's in the right, but it's four years old and it's a meme. Folks who dislike the ship for their own personal reasons are fine too, because everyone has their shipping preferences. What isn't okay is the complete and utter shutdown of this ship because a group of incredibly loud, toxic people insisted that the ship was unsalvageably terrible based on fan projections that - four years later - aren't entirely justified.
I personally don't ship Reylo. I find Star Wars characters to be kinda boring, so I don't care who hooks up with who/what. And if there's an uncomfortable power dynamic, or if Kylo Ren represents something twisted in the public psyche that you feel makes Reylo a grossly inappropriate ship, then so be it - that's a valid take and I wouldn't judge anyone for having it. These takes aren't wholly unjustified or bad on their own, and I respect a fan's personal discretion when it comes to ships and stuff that they personally find distasteful. But I'm honestly pretty repulsed by just how heavy-handed and outwardly hostile the Reylo backlash was in the early days of The Force Awakens, especially with how these objective observations about these characters being blood related has still not come to pass in the movies four years after "incestual implications" were used as a cornerstone to take down Reylo.
Reylo isn't a great ship, and I wholly understand why folks would find it problematic or uncomfortable or just not their thing. That doesn't excuse the outright vile amounts of vitriol the ship produced at the time, or the culture war between social justice posters and fan creators who were just trying to do their thing. The backlash at large was predicated on subtext and popular fan extrapolation, and I think that if someone was outright militant in their dislike against the pairing during this period of Tumblr's history, they might just owe some people an apology for how they reacted at the time.
The mass backlash was not called for. It was vitriolic and ugly.
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Best Films of 2018
This list may seem a few months late but I consider the movie season to stretch from January through February of the following year — or until after the Academy Awards ceremony is held. This usually overlaps with the slate of new films debuting at Sundance and other early festivals but that's just the way Hollywood works; awards season is truly never over.
Though movie studios are still focusing on superhero blockbusters and films based on existing intellectual property, 2018 offered a number of original gems among some bona fide hits. Films like the atmospheric sci-fi thriller "Annihilation" and Maggie Gyllenhaal's tour de force of a performance in "The Kindergarten Teacher" just missed my top 10 of 2018. While most of the movies in my list didn't make much of a splash at the box office, they each have a distinct point of view, tone and push the boundaries of what moviemaking can be. From a film shot entirely on an iPhone to a touching story about queer friendship, 2018 was a diverse and solid year for film.
Below are my top 20 favorite movies of 2018.
20. “Burning,” Lee Chang-dong
19. “Happy as Lazzaro,” Alice Rohrwacher
18. “The House that Jack Built,” Lars von Trier
17. “Juliet, Naked,” Jesse Peretz
16. “BlacKkKlansman,” Spike Lee
15. “Shoplifters,” Hirokazu Kore-eda
14. “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Barry Jenkins
13. “First Man,” Damien Chazelle
12. “The Kindergarten Teacher,” Sara Colangelo
11. “Annihilation,” Alex Garland
10. “Unsane,” Steven Soderbergh
"Unsane" is Steven Soderbergh's first iPhone movie. He followed this psychological thriller with "High Flying Bird" on Netflix earlier this month, a snappy basketball movie about the behind the scenes action starring Andre Holland ("Moonlight, "The Knick"). For "Unsane," Soderbergh sets his iPhone 7 Plus on "The Crown" star Claire Foy, who plays Sawyer, a troubled woman who is involuntarily institutionalized. Soderbergh makes the best use of the iPhone, making "Unsane" feel claustrophobic and disorienting to match Sawyer's state of mind. Foy gives a great performance of a woman on the edge, making this little-seen flick so much better than it ought to be.
09. “Vox Lux," Brady Corbet
"Vox Lux" is not a good movie. It's a fascinatingly bizarre one, though. It's the kind of strange concoction that has stuck with me since seeing it a few months ago. It's a twisted version of "A Star is Born" when a young singer Celest (played by Raffey Casssidy as a teen and Natalie Portman as an adult) survives a school shooting and is transformed into a mega pop star a la Lady Gaga. Every choice here is so strange — from a Willem Deafoe narration to having Cassidy play Celest's daughter. And then there's Portman's mind-boggling performance (The New York Times' film critic Manohla Dargis put it best, writing that Portman has an "accent that sounds like it's been lifted from a New York cabby in an old Hollywood comedy." The last musical number is terrible and the pop songs that we're to believe propelled Celest into stardom are quite bad (they were written by Sia but sound like tracks she never planned to release). Director Brady Corbet (an actor best known for his role in "Mysterious Skin" and his directorial debut "The Childhood of a Leader") makes a huge swing with "Vox Lux" and attempts to say something grand about our culture, pop music and tragedy but it's ultimately a can't-look-away-misfire. The kind of disaster I'll happily re-watch again and again.
08. "Suspiria," by Luca Guadagnino
Like "Vox Lux," Luca Guadagnino's take on the cult classic "Suspiria" aims high. But unlike Bradly Corbet's film, Guadagnino's remix of Dario Argento iconic 1977 giallo horror film is successful. With a running time of 153 minutes, the 2018 "Suspiria" is only spiritually connected to the original, expanding on Argento's "Three Mothers" trilogy. Guadagnino smartly ignores the original's Technicolor gore and its iconic soundtrack from Goblin, making his version of the movie dull grey and enlists Radiohead front man Thom Yorke for its spooky music. "Suspiria" also also features Dakota Johnson's best performance ever and another stellar turn from Tilda Swinton. Guadagnino channels Rainer Werner Fassbinder, adding texture to why "Suspiria" is set in 70s Germany and making great use of the political climate at the time and a coven of witches.
07. "Lean on Pete," Andrew Haigh
Out filmmaker Andrew Haigh's follow up to "45 Years" is a quiet road trip movie about a boy and his horse. Charlie Plummer gives one of the best performances of the year as Charley — a dirt poor teen who finds solace in taking care of an aging racehorse named Lean on Pete. The film shifts major gears after Charley is hit with tragedy in the first third of the film, sparking him to run away with his new animal friend in search of his aunt across the country. "Lean on Pete" isn't as sentimental as one may assume; it's a dark film that rests on Plummer's shoulders, proving he's one of the strongest young actors of his generation.
06. "Eighth Grade," Bo Burnham
Comedian and YouTube star Bo Burnham's directorial debut "Eighth Grade" is a horror movie. Starring the sensational Elsie Fisher as middle school student Kayla, "Eighth Grade" puts the experience of a young teen under a magnifying class, amplifying every awkward moment and pump those tense scenes with the kind of intense energy one would feel while watching slasher flick. But "Eighth Grade" is ultimately beautiful movie that tracks 13-year-old Kayla as she navigates her last year before entering high school. Burnham captures the essence of being a middle schooler and not for once plays Kayla's experience for cheap laughs. The things she's interested in — especially vlogging — are treated with respect and dignity, making "Eighth Grade" a lovely and felt experience.
05. "A Star is Born," Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper's remake of a "A Star is Born" was one of the most exciting cultural moments of 2018. From the memes to the actual film — when the moment hits that Cooper is actually pulling it off — this tragic Hollywood story, starring a marvelous Lady Gaga, was one of the best movies to think and talk about. It also happens to be very good.
04. "Roma," Alfonso Cuarón
For how technically impressive "Roma" is (that cinematography! The sound!) Alfonso Cuarón's memory piece packs an emotional punch. Cuarón focuses on Cleo (breakout star Yalitza Aparicio), a nanny for a family in 70s Mexico City. Based on Cuarón's real life nanny from that time, the filmmaker puts Cleo's experience and story on a huge scale. Her small story is treated like a war epic. "Roma" is why movies exist, an achievement in storytelling and cinematic scope.
03. "The Favourite," Yorgos Lanthimos
Yorgos Lanthimos pulls of a feat with "The Favourite" a wickedly funny movie about power, women and sex. Its three stars Olivia Colman, Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz give incredible performances each on a different wavelength. Lanthimos's touch makes "The Favourite" slightly off kilter, thanks to fisheye lenses, modern music and dance. There hasn't been such a twisted period piece since Sofia Coppola's 2006 masterpiece "Marie Antoinette."
02. "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" Marielle Heller
"Can You Ever Forgive Me?" probably has one of the worst trailers of 2018. It suggests is a run-of-the-mill Oscar bait movie with comedic genius Melissa McCarthy making a blatant attempt to Get Serious. But Marielle Heller's film is anything but that, considering it earned just three Academy Award nominations (McCarthy for Best Actress, Richard E. Grant for Best Supporting Actor and Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty for Best Adapted Screenplay) and isn't expected to take home any. Nevertheless, the story about biographer-turned-scammer Lee Israel turns out to be a touching story about queer friendship. It's a specific New York City 90s story that's heartfelt and beautiful. Indeed, McCarthy as Israel is wonderful as is Grant, who plays gay British smooth talker Jack Hock. "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" is the kind of movie that is currently overlooked but will go on to become a cult favorite.
01. "Hereditary," Ari Aster
"Hereditary" is hands down the scariest movie of 2018. It's hardly a horror movie, although it's classified as such since supernatural moments occur. But it's the most stressful, intense and twisted family drama in some time. At the center of this film is Toni Collette's masterful performance as Annie Graham, a mother dealing with the loss of her own mother and how that sets off a chain of events that uproots her reality. The rabbit hole she goes down is — well there's really no other way to put this — extremely fucked up. She's put through the ringer and Collette is fully committed here as "Heredity" explores what it's like to be a mother, deals with loss, grief, tragedy and familial bounds that we've been taught to be unbreakable. "Heredity" asks what if those bonds somehow did snap? The answer is that all hell breaks loose.
#best of 2018#2018#movies#burning#Lee Chang-dong#happy as lazzaro#Alice Rohrwacher#the house that jack built#lars von trier#juliet naked#Jesse Peretz#ethan hawke#blackkklansman#Hirokazu Kore-eda#spike lee#shoplifters#if beale street could talk#barry jenkins#first man#damien chazelle#the kindergarten teacher#Sara Colangelo#Annihilation#alex garland#unsane#clair foy#steven soderbergh#vox lux#Brady Corbet#natalie portman
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WIP meme
Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you, or interests you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!!
I was tagged by @bright-elen and I tag (if you care to participate) @anamelesstraveler and @semisweetshadow
I actually just counted this recently! I have:
Bodhi Lives meets Solo
Critical Flaws
SUPER SECRET STAR WARS RARE PAIRS FIC (you can still request this one, I will just give you very out of context info *grins*)
LESS SECRET RARE PAIRS TREAT (still gonna be pretty out of context)
FBI AU - Loosely based on White Collar
NASAverse
TIE Pilot Bodhi
So yes! Anyone, feel free to ask me about my WIPs!
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Creator Meme
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you’ve created this past year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.
tagged by @mrsluthordanvers
1. Supergirl - This Is War, Supergirl, Video
Probably my favorite non-supercorp video on my channel (not that there are many). Also the last Supergirl fandom video I made. Made a gif set for this song a while ago and had been wanting to make a video for the longest time.
2. Supercorp - Go The Distance, Supercorp, Video
Hands down my favorite Supercorp video on my channel. I’ve made a number of ones that are good. And this is by far not my most viewed one (that title goes to Clarity) but I just think Lena’s story (in S2 at least and actually into S3 as well) just fits with the song, coupled with the cover which is just amazing, I don’t think it’s a stretch to see how this one is my favorite.
3. Ascension/Betrayal, Supercorp, FanFicton
I may be cheating by linking two fics in one work but I’m kind of linking it as a series rather than an individual work. This was the big writing project of 2017 and while I’m not really happy with how Betrayal ended up as far as the speed of progression, the series itself is really promising. I still have another/final part to write, but I’m not really feeling Supergirl since the beginning of S3. I will get around to it sometime. If I don’t, maybe I’ll post the outline/storyline so it’s not left on an abrupt cliffhanger with no resolution.
4. Star Wars: TOR - Legends Never Die, Star Wars, Video
This is kind of a miss for the demographic/fandom of my channel I know, but it’s worth a watch if you like Star Wars. Especially if you’re interested in Star Wars beyond the Skywalker story. I fell in love with the song the minute it was released and while I think it is 100% a match for a Supergirl video (hint hint to fellow content creators) I didn’t think I could do a video to this song justice given my feelings toward the show at the moment.
5. Luthor and the Super - Supercorp Beauty & the Beast AU Trailer, Supercorp, Video
The best of the trailers I made this year. It was very loosely based/inspired by a fanfic I read (that’s linked in the description of the video) though it’s not a perfect representation of the original story or the fanfic it is based on. I think the reason it sticks out to me is that the original artist of the cover noticed the video (probably one of his fans linked him the video or something) and he watched it, complimented me on the video.
As far as content creation goes, I’ve always considered myself a video editor first, writer second. Though I know in content creator masterlists I’m usually listed as a writer who also makes videos, though it’s really the other way around. But whatever the fandom sees me as, I’ll gladly accept. 2017 was the year of Supercorp/Supergirl for me. Idk what 2018 is going to be. Wait and find out I guess.
Tagging: I honestly have been so out of the loop as far as Tumblr and fandom goes that I don’t even know content creators to tag that haven’t been tagged yet. So if you’re a content creator, I want to see this meme on your Tumblr. And I tagged you.
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Things that take me out of fanfiction (as a fanfiction writer)
Aside from the obvious (poor grammar, formatting errors, etc.) these are a few of the things that make me pause and reconsider whether or not I really want to continue reading the thing that I am reading.
Mis-characterizations; it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty how a character is going to react in all scenarios, but some things are tough to overlook. Characters that are incredibly strong struggling with a weak enemy, for example- that sort of thing can be done, but you’d better set up the context correctly. Or it can throw (me) your reader off. If there’s a reason why your character’s behavior is diverging from what is canonically accurate, explain it! Don’t be afraid to just straight up say it. People (including myself) like to know what they’re in for when they start a fic.
Inaccuracy. Now it is fiction, so lots of liberties can be taken with this, but if you cannot adequately describe something that your character should know how to do... it’s going to stand out. For example, if your character is a working adult, but you are not, and you do not know how to go to the bank and get cash out of it... Maybe avoid writing that specific scenario. Write around it. Describe it vaguely.
Politics. You can tackle real issues through writing, if you know how to do it and can do it well. But please, please do not have one character mention [Real world (usually American) political figure] and have everyone else in the scene unanimously agree and rip on that political figure. Unless it’s something completely in-character and reasonable for everyone involved... Even if I agree with everything being said, it’s just annoying.
Poor/Unrealistic Dialogue. Colloquialism is something that is naturally ingrained in every culture, but please try to keep in mind the differences in a conversation between 2 thirty year olds and 2 teenagers. When I read a story featuring a supposed adult, who speaks as if he is a freshman in high school giving a power point presentation for the first time... it’s. weird
Memes. That’s right, I said memes. I love memelords just as much as the next guy, but unless it’s a story that is very clearly focused on something that would involve that subject matter, I don’t want memes. First of all, fanfiction becomes outdated, fast. A Damn Daniel meme is going to 1. date your story and 2. completely throw me for a loop in your story that is based in Ancient Egypt. The 2 second chuckle from a handful of readers is not worth it.
Non-existent/Unrealistic Consequences. Problems do not magically go away overnight. In order to avoid leaving any loose ends, list off the primary list of problems that your protagonists are going through. Then when you write the conclusion, double check that it eliminates or addresses each of these problems; whether or not they’re going to persist after the story ends or whatever else the deal might be. If a character struggles with addiction (for example)--make sure the conclusion mentions something about how the character is going to handle (or has handled) this problem.
Handling tough subject matter lazily. This is tricky for anyone, but if you have never experienced a traumatic situation, but your intention is to portray this situation as realistically as possible... do some research. If it’s a little outside of the realm of reality (parents murdered by shark wolves), research the stages of grief. How people within your protagonist’s age group cope with it and how they don’t, and whether or not your Granted, not all fanfiction strives to be as accurate as possible when it comes to trauma. Some people just genuinely love to torment the hell out of characters they like, and that’s fine- just preface it in the tags or summary. Trigger warnings help as well, that way people know to avoid reading about things that may draw overwhelming or unpleasant feelings. Or a past trauma, worst case scenario.
Inconsistency. Your dragon-queen alpha wizard raven way had the regeneration ability 3 chapters ago, but now that she lost her hand it’s suddenly the end of the world? If this is the case, there needs to be a reason why it is true this time but wasn’t every other time. You can bend the rules, but make sure there’s a reason (even a ham-fisted one) why they’re being bent.
Poor/Lazy Characterization. This sort of goes hand-in-hand with inconsistency. If a character is an asshole, who is proudly an asshole and nothing but an asshole... he’s not going to tip his waitress? He’s not going to internally monologue about how the servers work hard and deserve to be paid well, unless he is genuinely a decent person on the inside. Even if the author does this in an attempt to allude to the fact that he is going to become a better person later on, there are better ways to go about it. Your asshole-character would likely be more subtle in his approach, or use misdirection. Throwing a crumpled up $1 bill at a waitress is far more likely and expected of bratty/asshole behavior... “But at least they left a tip?”
Not-so-Slow Burns. If you sign up for a slow burn, it might be helpful to focus on the slice-of-life behavior and how the characters gradually get closer throughout. If you rush straight into the romance, it’s not a very slow burn. They don’t generally start feeling doki-doki true love by the third total encounter they’ve ever had in their entire lives. Sometimes, maybe. But handle with care, and keep in mind that people need time to change. If they’re refraining from a relationship or whatever because MC 1 is anti-humanity, your MC isn’t going to become a people-loving pope overnight. A timeskip might help you out there, but it’s risky if it’s unexpected or random.
I AM NOT THE FUN POLICE. In the end, even if you borrow the characters- your story is your story. I’ve done almost every single thing on this list, some things more frequently than others depending on the nature of my story. You are allowed to do whatever you want and have as much fun as you want. I’m offering this list mostly to the people who want to receive feedback, because I’ve been there. You’ve finally got your grammar down. You’re working on your vocabulary and formatting and yet..... you still don’t feel any growth or significant change in your audience. It can be frustrating. Making a note of these things and how often you do them will help you to gain a more enthusiastic audience about your work. People like to read fanfiction that feels as though it could stand on its own. This is especially helpful for those fanfiction authors who want to publish their own novels someday.
Also, not all of this falls on the responsibility of the author. If an author consistently updates their tags/summary/notes, etc, then there’s no reason that a reader should walk into a Slow-Burn and expect hasty passionate smut in chapter 2. Or read a story titled “THE GORE OF WAR” and complain about...y’know, gore. Most readers tend to have a pretty good grasp on what the atmosphere of a story is going to by the first paragraph. And the atmosphere may change over time, which is fine! Just keep your readers in mind before your lollipops & sunshine rom-com becomes a last minute zombie apocalypse. Maybe make a note of that in the notes; give people a chance to bail, and trust me, you want them to bail. 1 more hit on your work isn’t worth the 3-paged flame you’re about to receive.
Above all, just have fun and keep writing. The more you write and the more willing you are to constantly adapt to feedback/growth, the better your work is going to become! Nobody starts off writing like R.R. Martin. He probably started off with really shitty star trek slash.
#Btw tag that shit#Also I rarely ever actually duck out of a story#I like to suffer through it#writers are masochists#I stand by this#fanfiction#writing tips
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June/Optimus (for the drabble meme)
[ Ship Scenario Memes (Accepting) ]
Fake dating/married: This actually happens not long after June officially meets the ‘Bots. A man who does deliveries for the hospital has been hitting on June almost every time they cross paths, and he’s making her very uncomfortable. She ends up bringing this up while visiting the base (away from Jack’s hearing), and Optimus offers his assistance in the matter. Using his holoavatar, he pretends to be June’s boyfriend, in the hopes that the creeper will back off.
Since the only person who really needs to be convinced is the delivery guy, things don’t change too much between the two at first. Optimus would take June to work and later pick her up a couple nights a week, they’d share small kisses on the cheek, and they come up with a backstory to tell June’s coworkers when they notice the attractive. Then one night, Optimus lets June vent about a rough week before taking her home, and next thing they know, they’re spending a couple hours a night just talking, either in the hospital parking lot, or outside the Darby house. And the affections seem to become easier and a bit more romantic. Optimus starts kissing the back of June’s hand, and sends her a bouquet of flowers to her nursing station. June picks up a book in the store because she thinks Optimus would like it, and leans into his side more often.
The delivery guy eventually backs off, but June and Optimus find they don’t want this to end and, after some discussion, decide to make their relationship official.
Bodyswap: Well, to say this is awkward is an understatement. A simple swap between species or gender would be odd enough, both at once being caused by a cybertronian relic is almost overkill. Optimus quickly calls for a leave of absence from the hospital, and stays at base to avoid anything that could cause an incident for June. June, on the other hand, can’t hide out in base for however long it takes to switch them back, so she gets a crash course in fighting, which she ends up being surprisingly good at it, if using a quite different style than Optimus’s. She’s not good enough to take on Megatron, but they luckily don’t have to fight him in that time. Optimus ends up spending most of his time helping Ratchet debug the computer systems and decrypt the Iacon database, as well as figuring out how to switch back. Optimus also has to deal with a period while in June’s body. He gains much personal respect for June and other human females.
Telepathy: It’s a very odd, and not entirely welcome development. Both Optimus and June have high-stress jobs, and sometimes the only way to cope is to rant in their heads, which could be distracting for the other. That aside, when the other is feeling down, they will try be send encouraging thoughts to them. And the occasional naughty ones, as couples do.
OH NO only one bed at the hotel: Well, OP can’t exactly fit in a human hotel, and a cybertronian one would have plenty of room for June, but where the fun in that? AU where Optimus got turned human by whatever macguffen you want. He, of course, does the noble thing and sleeps on the floor, even at June’s insistence that they can share the bed like reasonable adults.
Accidental time-travel: They travel back to before the War and Optimus has to decide if he wants to warn Orion Pax of what’s to come or not. They do visit Alpha Trion, and he leaves some clues for past!Optimus to find to help lessen the War’s devastation, if not stop it.
Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it: So, apparently cybertronian interface nanites act as an aphrodisiac in humans if breathed in. Who knew. Luckily, the outbreak happened while the children were at school and the team out scouting and Ratchet was able to contain it quickly. But that still left June to be taken care of, and Optimus volunteered to do so. Even using his holo, he tried to go slowly and gently, but June hadn’t been with a man since Jack’s dad, and she could tell it had been a while for Optimus too, so she quickly convinces him to let loose for the few hours they have. Afterwards, both are quite embarrassed and no one mentions it, but both do wonder how much of it was the nanites, and how much was something more.
Dark!fic: June is a great ally to the Autobots, always listening and taking thorough notes when Ratchet teaches her about cybertronian medical science, and of course June promises to never reveal the information to someone who doesn’t know of their existence. So when she emails her notes out through an encrypted email, she’s obviously sending them to someone who does know. And Silas is very appreciative of the files, which greatly advanced Project Chimera’s progress beyond what could have been accomplished on their own.
June was telling the truth that it had just been her and Jack since his dad left. She just didn’t tell anyone that she had just been reunited with him. It was short, only a twenty minute van ride before she had to be knocked out, but it was enough to Silas to reaffirm to her that yes, he still loved her, and he was doing everything to make a better world for her and Jack, one where they could live as royalty if they wished. He assured her she would be perfectly safe throughout the night, that his own men were ready to kill Airachnid if Jack couldn’t reach her, and that the Autobot would assist if she got free. And then he laid the plan for her help when Arcee did.
Silas encouraged June to integrate herself into the bot’s lives, to learn everything she could about the Autobots. When June noticed Optimus seemed to have taken a liking to her, he pushed her to take advantage of it, for a leader in love is often a distracted leader. And when the time came, he would give the signal, and she would open the groundbridge, and when the children protested the deaths of the ‘Bots, she assured them it was for a better future, where they would all be happy. She felt a twinge of remorse when Optimus’s optics, filled with shock and betrayal, landed on her as he fell to Silas piloting Nemesis, but she pushed it down, confident in the knowledge this was the right thing, for her and her love.
It’s too bad she both overestimated Silas’s feelings for her, and underestimated the anger that could fill up a twelve year old when you murder the people he considers family right in front of him.
Their first kiss: It was an impulse, truly. June had been helping Ratchet give Optimus a check up, and they were just finishing up when they heard a crash in the main atrium and Ratchet went to investigate, leaving June to finish unhooking Optimus from the medical apparatus. The last one was on Optimus’s helm, so he lifted her up to get it. Then, as he started lowering her down, she kissed his faceplate, just off from his lips. He froze, and she turned away embarrassed, but he gently turned her back to him and carefully gave her a proper kiss in return. It was lucky they’d already unhooked the scanner, otherwise Ratchet would have gotten some odd readings that would have raised a few questions the two weren’t quite able to answer yet.
Meeting the parents: The closest thing Optimus had to a parent was Alpha Trion, who has been in the least MIA for millennia. Still, Optimus does show June holopics of him, and tells her stories, and if Alpha happened to leave a message about June in the Star Saber, well, Optimus isn’t going to say anything.
June’s mom and stepdad live in Boulder City, and first meet Optimus through a holoavatar. Gloria and Thomas Darby are ecstatic that their girl has a man in her life again, especially one as gentlemanly and handsome as Optimus. Even after finding out the truth, they fully support the couple, since after all, they were a mixed-race couple in the 70s, what’s an alien-human relationship to them?
Moving in together: This doesn’t happen until after the destruction of Outpost Omega One, and the subsequent fight against the Decepticons. Given her and Jack’s relationship with the ‘Bots, it was easy to get them quarters in the new base. Even with that, June often spends her nights in Optimus’s room. A sturdy scaffold was set up to hold a bedroom set and kitchenette, as well as a bathroom plumbed in. It’s a fairly easy transition to cohabitation, each of them understanding when the other needs company and when they need quiet. Most nights, she goes to sleep resting on Optimus’s (newly expanded) chestplate, listening to his sparkbeat. She has a much harder time falling asleep after the team returns to Cybertron.
Marriage and children: Take your choice of Human OP/Cybertronian June/Technorganic babies for this prompt! They have a sweet ceremony, getting it as close to just close friends and family as they can (Optimus is a dignitary after all, some bureaucrats are gonna find their way in).
For children, they have anywhere between one and three. Roselight/Rose Alina is their oldest, who looks like a younger version of June as a human/holo, but with her father’s ears. As a cybertronian, she’s a seeker like her mother but with her father’s helm shape, and colored rosey-red with green and yellow highlights. She would be very interested in medicine, and want to be a nurse/medic when she grew up.
Their second child would be Mayflower/May, who is the opposite of Rose in appearance and temperment. She looks like Optimus as a bot and human, but has her mother’s skin tone, and her colors as a bot are green and white, with some red and blue accents. She turns into a truck, and is very much a fighter. She’d spend a lot of time with “Auntie” Miko and her Wrecker “Uncles”, and is always ready to defend her sibs, especially her brother.
Their third child would be a son, who, after some debate, they decide to name Megatronus/Michael. He looks just like Optimus as a human, and as a bot, he’s a seeker, but has a heavier build and Optimus’s colors. In a way though, this makes the weight of his name worse, as he knows what Megatron was, and doesn’t want that to come down on him. He’s very shy, does all he can to never lose his temper, and while he learns to fight with his sisters and is skilled, he is the most hesitent to use his abilities, always looking for a peaceful solution.
A crossover of my choice: Inspired by skype convos with @crazyfanatic97, crossover with Five Night’s At Freddy’s, where Jack’s father was William Afton, who took their second son Michael with him when they divorced. Optimus and June get together, but drama and plot emerge when William tries to come back into their lives to get his hands on Jack for nefarious purposes. Possible appearances of Springtrap and other animatronics might also occur.
An AU of my choice: Post-Apocalypse AU, June is leading a band of women and children who just recently lost all the men to their “protectors” after refusing to hand over their “gifted” children. Optimus and Team Prime land on this version of Earth and June’s group is the first they come across. They make a deal to help each other, Optimus and the ‘Bots providing protection for the band, while June and the others of the band help the bots retrieve the cybertronian artifacts that drew the ‘Bots and ‘Cons to Earth. And along the way, between all the fighting, running the band, training the gifted children and whatnot, they happen to fall in love.
If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice: Soulmates AU where June and the kids are actually reincarnated cybertronians and find out their romantic and platonic soulmates are among the bots and cons. June would be reunited with her Platonic Ratchet, her Sparkmate Optimus, and their daughter Roselight after a relic is found that converts the humans back to their proper forms (though still allowing them to change back, like pretenders). (I am working on this AU, but the main focus of the fic is more on Miko/Megatron, so June/OP is more a background ship. but shush, my meme.)
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Wk 32
Some of the best worst movies I have ever seen
Here are some of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life but most of them can qualify under the so bad it's good/funny category where you can laugh with a group of friends, anyways heres the list. (Note: most of these movies are liked for the joke/meme of them, and have gained popularity for people just hating on them and stuff) (Note 2: most of these movies can be enjoyed or not be enjoyed by yourselves but if you can you should watch these movies with friends for an overall better experience)(note 3: this is the last note, I'm going for of a more critical, exaggerated, and sarcastic style in this so I hope that comes through clearly, just letting you know cause it's rare we talk about bad content on this blog series and I wanted to kind of emulate the content creators that review this type of crappy content)
Ratatoing (2007)
By that title your probably thinking it's a ripoff of the popular Disney-Pixar movie Ratatouille from 2007, well you are right about that, for the most part (you'll see). This movie is made by the animation studio named Studio Brinquedo, a Brazilian studio that has made countless ripoffs of more popular movies such as (Kung Fu Panda- The Little Panda Fighter, The Little Cars- Cars, and much... MUCH more) in the hopes of parents being fooled into thinking this is that one cool movie my child was talking about so maybe I'll buy this to entertain my kid, most times it is a nightmare of a film that the kids hate. This movie was released before Ratatouille came out so it is really just loosely based on what the movie was about because all they had to steal from was Teaser and Offical trailers. It is about a rat who owns a restaurant who is popular amongst the rats in the area, his food is very popular. He gets his ingredients from humans which is a thing that could get him killed or whatever. Yeah it's a terrible movie with terrible Animation and weird transitions. Honestly it is such a weird movie to experience but if you are going to watch it, watch with friends (I watched it with my old friend Tyler and we had fun, I also watched it with my mom and she absolutely hated it 😂)
FoodFight! (2012)
FoodFight! is a 2012 animated garbage can (*cough* *cough* FILM) is a hot mess of terrible animation, weird dialogue, and a suprising intresting history. Foodfight! started its history in 1999, with them animating the film for a 2002 release, when something bad happened. The hard drives that contained the animations for the film were stolen (OH NO!!). The people started from scratch years later and finished the movie for a 2012 release date (10 years after the atrocity that was the theft of the pirate treasure known as Foodfight!). The movie was super critically panned with most people saying it was the worst thing they have ever seen in their entire lives. I would agree with that, again watch with a friend for riffing and making fun of this cinematic masterpiece.
(Fun fact: this movie had a budget of 45-65 million dollars but only made back 74,000$ in its limited release)
Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Birdemic: Shock and Terror is a horrific horror of a bird crap movie. This movie is probably the worst live action movie I have seen, but is certainly an experience. This movie has underlying themes of Global Warming and the environment, while tackling the everyday problem of killer birds. The movie's budget was less than 10,000$ and it truly shows, with the audio sounding as muffled as a broken drive thru order speaker, the ugly animations, and laughable effects, it is definitely an experience to watch it but you should watch it to make fun of it. I watched this with my mom and we both laughed at how awfully bad and unintentionally funny it was.
Sharknado series of movies
I couldn't pick one movie out of all 6 movies (that's right 6 movies). From the original Sharknado telling the basic story of a tornado with sharks in them in California, Sharknado 2: The Second One dealing with Sharknados in New York City, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! with the Sharknado in Florida, Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens with the Sharknado in Las Vegas area I think I kinda forgot, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming with Multiple Sharknados across the globe, or the last installment The Last Sharknado: It's About Time dealing with Time Travel and the Sharknados effect on World History, I just couldn't pick one. They are probably the most watchable on this list its just such a funny and ridiculous concept you cant help but laugh at it, and with some crazy death scenes and shark killings, it is an amazing series that rivals Star Wars and The Godfather for the greatest film franchise of all time.
The Room (2003)
The most famous and notorious bad movie on this list is The Room. The movie was Written, Produced, and Directed by Tommy Wiseau, starring Tommy Wiseau as the main character and lead actor. It stars Wiseau as Johnny, a character that has a fiance named Lisa, who loves Johnny's best friend named Mark, along with other plots. It's a funny bad movie that is famous for its multiple quotes ("Oh Hi Mark", "Oh Hi Doggy", "That's a cool story Mark"), bad overacting, and famous Midnight Screenings including Throwing Footballs and Spoons at the screen, and Everyone quoting the lines out loud at once. It is a bad movie but one of the more enjoyable movies on this list.
Conclusion
Here are some of the worst but also most unintentionally funny movies in my opinion. Have a great week and stay safe!
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... because Reeves is the star, he has no equal.
Sep 18, 2017
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Lionsgate has announced and slotted John Wick: Chapter Three. The third entry in the accidental franchise is now slated for May 17, 2019.
I’ve always said that the weekend before Memorial Day is among the very best on the calendar, offering the potential for a big opening and then a solid holiday hold. Yes, last summer had Alien: Covenant, which was the least leggy such offering in recent history, but the slot has seen the likes of all four Shrek movies, all three Star Wars prequels, The Matrix Reloaded and Mad Max: Fury Road. So, yeah, Lionsgate watched Star Wars 9 ditch the Memorial Day opening weekend and saw an opening.
If we argue that a franchise grows bigger in stature by virtue of its release dates, then John Wick has been promoted yet again. The first installment was a genuine buzzy sleeper in October 2014. So, the sequel got a more high-profile launching pad over this past President’s Day weekend. We’ll see if the franchise peaked at part II (like Scream or Pirates of the Caribbean) or whether it builds on the third shot (or potentially goes crazy like Goldfinger or Skyfall.
Maybe the answer is somewhere in-between, but John Wick is now the rarest of things, an explicitly star-driven franchise. The success of John Wick is very much about the ongoing and periodically regenerated star power of one Keanu Reeves. Mr. Reeves is arguably the most successful movie star of the modern age in terms of creating wholly original and sequel-friendly franchises.
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Sure, we can talk about his famous philanthropy, his understated and often underappreciated acting, his “sad Keanu” memes, or the fact that he apparently drank from Tuck’s well in the early 1980s and thus will never age. But what’s most impressive is that Reeves’ stardom persists in this IP/franchise-driven era. The secret is that the reclusive and philosophical actor has made a habit of creating a new iconic cinematic character on an almost generational basis.
Depending on how old you are, you may have discovered Reeves in the late 1980s with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, where he so exquisitely played a good-hearted airhead that said characterization stuck as a kind of offscreen typecasting for decades. Or maybe you first saw the actor in Kathryn Bigelow’s Point Break, where overeager and exasperated FBI agent Johnny Utah and Patrick Swayze’s guru surfer bank robber essentially invented the testosterone-fueled bromance. It wasn't a big hit, but it spawned a remake, a satirical stage play (Point Break Live) and a loose rip-off that spawned a rather fast and furious eight films-and counting franchise.
Or maybe you discovered (or rediscovered) Reeves via Jan De Bont’s action classic Speed, which turned his onscreen kamikaze airhead reputation on its head for what amounted to a cheerful, well-mannered action hero. The film was slightly ahead of its time in casting a somewhat unconventional actor as its muscular action lead. It was a new trend begun by Die Hard and Batman and made mainstream when Nicolas Cage cashed in on his Oscar win to make The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off in the mid-1990s.
Reeves’ blockbuster action hit, which turned Sandra Bullock into a leading lady, kept Reeves’ name in good graces as he dabbled in smaller films and quirkier projects like A Walk in the Clouds, Feeling Minnesota or The Devil’s Advocate. While Reeves has long specialized in understated dramatic turns (not unlike Harrison Ford or Kevin Costner), Taylor Hackford religious melodrama/gonzo comic thriller, which gave us Charlize Theron, is a rare occasion where Keanu Reeves delivered a terrific over-acted performance. He held his own against a peak-ham Al Pacino.
But just as Reeves’ star was fading, he gave us a new iconic cinematic character for a new generation in the guise of Thomas Anderson. You may know him as Neo, but The Matrix was one of the most influential major studio releases of our time, and the Wachowskis’ mind-bending cyberpunk action trilogy became Reeves’ biggest grossers here and abroad. And whether they acted as a gateway drug for younger would-be Reeves fans or served to reignite the fandom born of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Point Break and Speed, The Matrix gave Reeves yet another defining and iconic cinematic character to call his own.
By the time the Matrix franchise wrapped up in late 2003, the industry was starting to do away with outright star vehicles, especially those not based upon prior source material. So, it’s no surprise that Reeves’ two big hits in the mid-to-late 2000s were Constantine (a loose adaptation of the DC Comics title Hellblazer) and The Day The Earth Stood Still (a remake of a classic 1950’s sci-fi drama). Both films earned around $230 million worldwide on budgets of $100m and $80m respectively. Fun fact: Until Wonder Woman, Constantine was the biggest DC Comics adaptation without Batman or Superman ever.
The post-Matrix 2000’s offered a few small-scale winners (I will defend Reeves and Sandra Bullock’s The Lake House, a moving meditation on adult loneliness, unto death) and worthwhile indie films (Thumbsucker, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, etc.), but the mainstream stuff (Street Kings, 47 Ronin) didn’t stick. Even the actor admits that the phone stopped ringing as much, although he did produce and narrate a terrific documentary (Side by Side) about digital video versus conventional film stock and direct the delightfully entertaining Man of Tai Chi.
And on paper, John Wick probably looked like a somewhat lower-rung, glorified VOD actioner better suited to Bruce Willis or Scott Adkins, a kind of “Oh, I guess Keanu Reeves is making a Taken knock-off” grindhouse offering. But the stylized and stylish actioner, starring Reeves as a retired hitman drawn back into the fray after Russian mobsters kill his newborn puppy, was a rarity. It was a genuine, under-the-radar sleeper hit.
The picture, directed by Chad Stahelski and David Leitch, was picked up by Lionsgate less than three months prior to its eventual late-October 2014 release and turned into a genuine mainstream hit. Thanks to good reviews, strong buzz and a solid marketing campaign that treated the film as a generational coronation for the occasionally underappreciated movie star, the picture vastly overperformed its pre-release tracking estimates, opening with $14 million and legging it to $43m domestic and $88m worldwide on a $30m budget.
That’s not a king’s ransom, but the picture, which played off Reeves’ star persona as a Zen-like man of action (and the fact that he had been somewhat MIA from mainstream movies), became an instant genre favorite and would-be cult classic. It was a big post-theatrical hit and John Wick: Chapter Two opened this past February as a true breakout sequel with a $30 million debut weekend for an eventual $92m domestic and $171m worldwide gross on a $40m budget.
The John Wick franchise is rooted in the idea of seeing Keanu Reeves specifically as John Wick, specifically because of Reeves’ performance and how the character plays off his persona. And that applies to all his defining characters, from Ted to Neo to Wick. Plenty of actors have one or two iconic/defining cinematic characters to their credit. Reeves has at least four (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Speed, The Matrix and John Wick) and possibly five (if you want to count Point Break’s Johnny Utah). Moreover, all of them stemmed from original screenplays sans any attachment to branded content or preexisting source material.
Moreover, all of them stemmed from original screenplays sans any attachment to branded content or preexisting source material. In 2017, Reeves is still around, still relevant, and still creating wholly original cinematic franchise-friendly characters. It would be like if Harrison Ford were still creating new characters as popular as Indiana Jones or Han Solo. Or, it would be like if Hell of High Water or Blackhat did even 25% of what Star Trek or Thor did at the domestic box office.
It is that ability (aside from the whole talent/charisma/professionalism/commitment stuff), to create new characters just often enough to snag new fans and reacquaint himself with older fans that keeps the actor exciting and bankable even in an IP/branded content world. Most actors are lucky to have one iconic character. Some, like Alan Rickman, get two. Keanu Reeves has at least four, all of which are wholly original cinematic creations.
Like Denzel Washington and Leonardo DiCaprio, Keanu Reeves is still a movie star because he remains bigger than the property and can score big bucks and new fans absent any property at all. And unlike any of his peers, he has a knack for embodying wholly original characters that redefine (or reenergize) his stardom right when the wick is about to burn out. And in terms of starring in films that create sequel-friendly franchises, franchises that succeed specifically because Reeves is the star, he has no equal.
Thanks to mr-reeves.com !
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