#ummm the book already hurts me .
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crying in H mart by michelle zauner
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very tender hurt and comfort with Vash tending to your wounds please? Maybe Reader has a lot of scarring and this is the first time Vash is seeing it? Pre relationship please so theres full of yearning and unspoken intimacy JDBSIDJJAHDIDHDJ I WANT THIS MAN SO MUCH HE HAS TAKEN OVER ALL THOUGHTS
Hi, dear anon! I am so so sorry, this request literally has been sitting in my inbox for 2 months and not because I didn’t like it, but for the opposite reason! I’ve been writing and re-writing it many times, and because I tend to go overboard with angst/hurt-comfort stuff when it comes to Vash, it turned out to be just 1000 words of fluff. Yeah, sorry to all the guys who requested fluf and got angst and vice-versa. Seems like I’m not good with requests, maybe will change the submissions to suggestions later. Anyway, hope you’re still somewhere out here nonnie and you can see this!
Warnings: mentions of scars and wounds, reader without specific body parts descriptions, Vash calls you a fem!gendered word in french once though, slight pining, fluff
There’s a sudden loud laugh, shuddering of the glasses and the next moment you’re laying face down on the sandy soil in front of the saloon. Your Thomas got freaked out and yeeted you over his head right into the dirt. For real? You’ve felt a sharp unpleasant pain on the left side of your body – your cheek, belly and a part of hip and knee burnt. The inside of your mouth tasted like sand, dirt, and humiliation. You spat and saw particles of blood in your spit. Wincing, you stood up, Vash’s hands already caringly holding your elbows.
“Hey, you’re okay there?” You turned to the side to see his concerned face that grew even more so when he saw the deep scrapes on your cheek. Wolfwood placed a hand on your shoulder as he passed through you to the saloon entrance with a chuckle: “That’s a pretty nasty fall for someone who claimed to be the best rider out of us, sheriff”. You could just growl at him pettily, hearing Vash’s scolding above your head as you tried to dust off your clothes as best as you could before entering the building.
Just great…One thing you’ve been confident in was your Thomas riding skill and you made sure to tease Wolfwood ‘cause of his clumsiness with saddle. You didn’t know what was wrong with those two men, but they both were so much better than you with everything: their shooting skills and physical prowess were not a joke, and you’ve felt a tinge of bitterness every time one of them roared to you to stay back or run away (which most of the time you didn’t listen to). But nevertheless, you’ve been so used to being one of a kind, the strong one, the clever one. The promising young sheriff of your town. Well…the town that doesn’t exist anymore, but still!
Waving off Vash and his attempts to check up your bruises, you went straight into your room for the night once you’ve booked them. This soured your mood a bit – the jeans were dirty and ripped now, the bruises were pretty big, even if not really deep, Wolfwood for sure will tease you back relentlessly, and Vash saw you falling so ungracefully…ugh. Deciding to be a grown up about it, you went for a shower, which made you feel better and decided to sleep off your bad mood. Surely, with a new day it’ll all feel like a funny incident to remember sometimes and laugh about, right?
You heard soft knocks on your door when you’ve been drying off your hair with a towel. “Hey, that’s just me. Wanted to check up on you if you don’t mind?” a sheepish voice spoke, muffled by the door. Of course, he would do that…
Opening the door you saw a tall blond standing there, already in his nightclothes, with a small med kit in his hands, which he shook a bit before your face. “Ummm…I know you don’t wanna, but it’s still better if we treat your wounds, you don’t want to get an infection and then nasty scars on your pretty face, right?” Pretty, is it? “Vash, I have my fare share of scars, I don’t really care about them, but if it makes you happy, sure” you stood aside from the door, letting him inside.
Sitting beside you on a bed, Vash started cleaning the skin around your scratches with antiseptic, leaning awfully close to your face for you liking. He seemed to be preoccupied with a task, making ‘tsk’ sounds like a concerned mother would. You’ve felt a tinge of warmth at this thought, not daring to dart your eyes to the side and concentrating on breathing calmly.
“Show me the other bruises” Vash asked, and you obediently lifted your shirt to reveal the biggest one that marred your skin from the upper stomach to the hipbone without giving it much thought. Seeing your friend’s cheeks and tips of the ears turning pink, you decidedly pulled it back. “Um…that’s fine. Thanks for worrying about me, I can just do it myself” you smiled reassuringly at him.
“Oh, sorry, I..didn’t mean anything like that. Just noticed that you already have some scars there. Did you get hurt a lot?” you chuckled as you raised your shirt once again for Vash to continue with his medical care. “Well, even though it’s just a silly nickname now, I used to be sheriff for quite some time. Yeah, I have some. Some are knife wounds, some from gun shots, maybe now some new from falling off Thomas” you tried to end it on a funny note, but Vash only frowned and placed a hand on your shoulder. “You know you can stop anytime? It’s not like you must continue to live such a risky life… You can find a nice occupation suitable for une jeune fille like you. Settle in a relatively calm and nice city? Wouldn’t it be better?” He said as if coaxing you, his voice soft and dreamy.
It was your turn to frown at his words. “You know I would if it was something I wanted, right? I never wanted such a life, especially not now, not when I…well… when I’m doing something important and helping you out. And I’ll ask you out of my room if you raise this topic again, okay?” Vash shook his head and chuckled, pressing his fingers, covered in healing balm to your bruised belly. “I surrender, sheriff. Please, spare this pitiful outlaw!”
You laughed at that, his fingers somehow burning your skin way stronger than the deepest abrasions.
#vash x reader#trigun x reader#vash x you#trigun x you#vash headcanons#trigun headcanons#lion writes#vash fluff#not proofread at all we die like rem
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try new things | knj ft. myg (18+)
not sure what to say here other than ummm….thoughts were thought and this is the outcome. (and umm lmk if you’d like a part 2?)
summary: you and your boyfriend namjoon have a threesome with his best friend to “try new things.”
warnings: threesome!! (do not read if you do not like that content), tongue kissing, fingering, clit stim, squirting, riding, cock sucking, cum eating/swallowing, nipple play, hair pulling (kind of), long hair rap line boys (lol), creampie, unprotected sex, um yeah reader has two dicks but not at the same time, and this is very much smut. i do check for minors so please be responsible and do not read if you are under 18.
“Hey, baby.” Your boyfriend Namjoon spoke to you, turning away from the screen in front of him in his chair. “Can I ask you something?”
You were both at his studio, Namjoon working and you hanging out, giving him opinions and reading.
“Joonie, you played the same sample for me seventeen times.” You we’re laying on his couch, not looking up from your book.
“No.” He hesitated, running his fingers through his hair. He let out a sigh. “It’s kind of something else.”
You closed your book, sitting up. “Yeah? Is something up?”
“No.” Namjoon stood up and walked over to you, sitting on the couch by you, putting your legs over his lap. “Something I kind of wanted to ask you.”
“Yeah, what’s up?” You asked him, leaning your head against the back of the couch. He seemed nervous.
He swallowed, laughing to himself. “Fuck I’m like embarrassed now.”
“Why joon? You can ask me anything, and I’m sure it’s nothing.”
He bit his lip, then looked at you. “Have you ever thought about having a threesome?”
Pausing for a second, you answered. “Hmm. I find the idea hot but I’ve never really gave it much thought.”
“Really?” Namjoon looked surprised you said that, even though you both had no shame in asking each other to try new things.
“Yeah.” You set your book down on the table nearby. “But who would it be with?”
“How about Yoongi?” Namjoon looked at you. “I mean he’s not a stranger and you know him just as well as me. It wouldn’t be awkward.”
“Okay.” You slightly laughed. “But how do you know he’d be into it?”
He scratched his head. “Baby, I hate to break it to you but men talk.”
“Oh really?” You teased.
“I low key kind of asked him already if he’d be interested.” Namjoon was serious. “We agreed that you have the control. We do nothing that makes you uncomfortable or that would hurt you.”
“Okay, that makes me feel better.”
“And if you at any time want to stop or change your mind you can.”
“Okay.” You swallowed. “So when are we doing this?”
“Yoongi said he’s free tomorrow.”
—————————————————————————
You and Namjoon were in his kitchen, waiting for Yoongi to arrive. You were dressed comfortably you would say, in only some slouchy socks, a red thong, and one of Namjoon’s hoodies. The hoodie fitting very loose, came to about mid thigh on you.
“Joon, do you want some wine?” You asked him, opening the fridge and looking for the bottle.
“Sure.” He answered, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. “Are you nervous?”
“No.” You spoke, pouring the wine into both glasses. “It’s just the anticipation.”
“Yeah I know.” Namjoon took a sip of wine from the glass.
You sat on the kitchen island, Namjoon standing in front of you in between your legs.
You finished your wine rather quick, and Namjoon soon after.
“When is he coming over?” You asked, putting your hands over his shoulders.
He glanced over at the clock. “Should be soon. He’s probably coming from his studio.”
You nodded, moving your hands to play with his soft, dark hair.
“Your hairs gotten pretty long.”
“Yeah?” He asked you sweetly. “Should I cut it soon?”
“No.” You ran your fingers through the front, watching it fall in his face. “I think it looks hot like this.”
He smirked and leaned in to kiss you as your hands were still in his hair. You felt movement and his hand brushed against your clothed entrance, making you let out a sudden gasp. Namjoon pulled away, and kissed your neck a few times.
“Already worked up for me. I like it.” He pressed a kiss behind your ear, and you felt chills through your entire body. “But you’ll have to wait. Yoongi hyung will be here soon.”
You sighed in frustration and annoyance. Yes, you agreed to this, but you didn’t think you’d be horny and forced to wait.
Almost like clockwork, there was a knock on the door. Namjoon was kissing you and pulled away to ask who it was, but knowing it was Yoongi.
“Yoongi.” A voice at the door spoke, making you feel like your heart stopped for a second.
He walked in and it felt like time slowed down for a second, like you were imagining this was happening. It wasn’t until the both of them were in front of you that you realized that this was in fact, happening.
“Am I interrupting the pregame?” Yoongi joked, smirking at Namjoon.
“No.” Namjoon answered. “But we can start if you want.”
“Joon.” You directed his attention towards you, lifting up the hoodie you were wearing, revealing the red thong that was underneath.
“Fuck.” Namjoon muttered underneath his breath.
Yoongi’s eyes were on you now as well, biting his lip.
“Still dying to be touched, princess?” Namjoon teased you, almost to put on a show. In the back of your mind you wanted to slap him, but you also wanted to play along.
“Please?” You leaned back on the counter, slightly opening your legs.
“You’re right. You’ve been patient.” He answered, giving Yoongi a look almost as the go ahead. You saw him walk out of your view behind you, and tried to watch him, but Namjoon suddenly pulled your legs towards him, making you look at him.
Now you were propped up on your elbows, Namjoon brushed his thumb lightly over your clothed clit, and you let out a needy whine, then bit down on your lip.
“Fucking soaking through your underwear.” Namjoon swore, smirking at you.
He pulled your underwear to the side, and put one of your legs over his shoulder. You were bracing yourself for his touch, gripping the edge of the counter with your hand so hard your knuckles were almost turning white.
You let out a jagged breath when you felt him start rubbing your clit with two fingers. He watched your reaction, then slipped them inside of you, starting to pump them in and out of you.
“Fuck, Joon.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, until you felt a hand on your jaw, making you open your eyes. It was Yoongi, you were so focused on Namjoon you forgot he was there for a minute.
You grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie to kiss you, his mouth was warm and wet. Namjoon brushed his fingertips against your g spot inside of you, making you moan against his mouth, evidently he took it as an opportunity to tongue kiss you.
“Good god I can’t wait to fuck you.” Namjoon spoke, adding a 3rd finger inside of you, you whining in response.
“Fuck I love hearing you whine.” Yoongi was talking in your ear, making your entire body hot. “I can’t wait to hear you whine for my cock.” He said it like a promise, a promise you hoped he would deliver.
You didn’t know who to focus on, your boyfriend whose hand was in between your legs, or his best friend that was saying such things to you.
Yoongi lifted up your hoodie you were wearing, exposing your breasts to him.
“Fuck, and you have the most perfect tits.” He circled his thumb over one of your nipples, already somewhat hard and sensitive to the touch, making you wince.
“Suck on them. She loves that.” Namjoon suddenly spoke, watching Yoongi.
You bit your lip, practically pleading with your eyes.
He let out a low chuckle and lowered his mouth to the nipple that was closest to him, and blew on it slightly to tease you. You wanted to grab a fist full of his hair until suddenly you felt his lips wrap around it and his tongue flicking against it. He grabbed the one, rubbing his thumb over it lightly.
“Fuck. So good. Don’t fucking stop. Please don’t stop.” You we’re a whining, moaning mess.
You felt yourself gushing more arousal, not going unnoticed by Namjoon.
“Fuck. Do you fucking hear that?” Namjoon groaned. “So fucking hot.” You were so wet you were making a squelching sound.
“Fuck.” You squeezed your eyes shut, every sensation stopping when Namjoon pulled his fingers out of you and Yoongi pulled away.
You had a look of disappointment on your face, and Namjoon grabbed your legs, sliding you off the counter, and turned you around so your back was facing him. He pulled you against him, and you moaned when you felt his hard length against you.
He put his hand over your neck, leaning down and turning your face towards him. He tongue kissed you roughly.
“Whose cock do you want first?” He asked you, before kissing your neck.
“Yoongi.” You looked at him, half moaning because of what Namjoon was doing to you.
Yoongi sucked in a breath. “Well fuck. Let’s go to the bedroom.”
The three of you made your way to the bedroom, you finally pulling your hoodie off over your head. Namjoon pulled off his t shirt that he was wearing to be comfortable.
You sat on the bed in front of Yoongi, with Namjoon a little off to the side.
Yoongi pulled off his hoodie that he was wearing and got to work taking off his belt and unzipping his jeans. His bulge very prominent through the denim.
“How do you want it?” Yoongi suddenly asked you, pulling you from your trance of watching him take off his pants.
“Rough.” You blatantly said, still waiting for him to take off his pants.
“Careful what you ask for.” Namjoon spoke, making Yoongi smirk.
“What he said.” Yoongi dropped his jeans to the floor and kicked them to the side, then pulled off his black underwear. “Be good and lie down for me.”
You got all but a glimpse of his length. Yoongi must have saw the look on your face.
“You can taste me later.”
You gasped when you felt the tip of his cock brush your folds and at your entrance. Yoongi smirked to himself and pushed inside of you at a pace that already had you clutching the bed sheets.
You were whining. “Fuck. That feels so good.”
Yoongi quickened his pace and soon you were a whining moaning mess.
You didn’t know where Namjoon went, assuming he was behind you somewhere. You turned your head to try and see him, when a hand grabbed your jaw roughly and turned your head, making you yelp.
“Look at me when I fuck you.” Yoongi swore, his breathing erratic. Even though he was breathing so heavy, he started fucking you hard. “Look at how good your pussy takes my cock.”
“Fuck. Yoongi.” Your eyes were watering like you were about to cry. Your orgasm was close and you were trying to fight it. “So fucking good.”
Suddenly Yoongi slowed down and pulled out of you, confused, you looked at him.
“Turn around, get on your hands and knees.” Yoongi said to you, motioning for you to turn over.
You weakly got up, your insides and legs feeling like jello at this point and your orgasm brought to a halt.
You moved your hair out of your face, and bit your lip when you felt Yoongi spread your knees further apart then they were.
Yoongi hummed to himself before pushing his length inside of you once more, this time the feeling almost making you cry out. At the angle he was going in at you were feeling him much deeper.
You moaned so loud that you had no idea that sound actually came from you.
“Holy fuck.” Yoongi breathed In between him thrusting inside of you. “I’m so fucking deep holy shit.”
You weren’t even holding yourself up anymore, your face against the sheets and your fists holding onto them for dear life.
You felt the mattress in front of you dip, you were confused at first, but then realized it was Namjoon. You opened your eyes and your vision was spotty from your eyes being closed tight for so long.
You gathered the strength to hold yourself up, and realized that he was in front of you, stroking his hard length in front of you. Fuck. You couldn’t deny that you wanted him in your throat.
You didn’t have to say anything to him, just open your mouth and he slid himself in against your tongue.
“Fuck this is so hot.” Namjoon moaned, giving you chills.
He eventually started to fuck into your throat, and you let him like usual. You loved having him in your mouth.
Suddenly, Yoongi gave a particularly deep thrust inside of you, brushing against your g spot, making your core clench.
“Fuck. I felt that.” He sounded breathless and sweaty. You wished you could have seen him. “You’re gonna cum.”
You couldn’t say anything, as Namjoon’s cock was hitting the back of your throat. You moaned and blinked away the tears that were forming.
Yoongi hit that spot repeatedly until your legs were shaking and you could barely hold yourself up anymore.
“Fuck. Look at you.” Namjoon pulled himself out of your mouth, giving you a chance to breathe.
“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” You whined as Yoongi was fucking you into oblivion.
“I wasn’t planning on it.” His voice was raspy and deep.
“Fuck.” You whined before everything seemed to move in slow motion, your head getting foggy, your body still shaking.
Yoongi slowed down, but continued fucking you through your orgasm.
“Fuck. You’re so warm. and still so fucking wet.”
His words made you bite your lip, because it was true. You could hear how wet you were still.
Yoongi pulled out of you suddenly. “Turn around.”
“What?” You had a stupid tone in your voice; fucked and confused.
“I said turn around.”
You turned around and realized what he was doing. He was standing in front of you breathing heavy, his long dark hair slicked back with sweat. He was stroking his length, swiping the tip with his thumb. You opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, feeling the warm liquid hit the back of your throat and onto your tongue. You swallowed when Yoongi pulled out of your mouth, then he grabbed your jaw, leaning down to tongue kiss you.
“Fucking hot.” He muttered, smirking at you.
You bit your lip and looked at Namjoon, who was sitting on the bed against the headboard, chest heaving with his hardened length in his hand.
You turned your body towards him, and leaned over to his cock, wrapping your lips around it sucking the tip into your mouth. Namjoon let out a sudden groan, grabbing at your hair.
“God, that’s enough. Don’t tease me.”
“Shush.” You sat up and positioned yourself over his cock, the tip barely brushing your entrance, making Namjoon almost lose it.
Namjoon bit his lip, humming as he looked down.
You ran your fingers through his long, dark hair, kissing him before you sunk down onto him, moans escaping both of your lips.
“Fuck.” Your voice came out needy as your body fell into his. “Feels so fucking good.”
“Mhm, fuck.” Namjoon groaned. “Fuck yourself on my cock.” He gripped your hips, rocking you into him.
Your legs were already tingling, but you put your hands on his shoulders and chest to steady yourself to move up and down on him, the noise that filled the room was obscene, further proving how wet you were still.
“Fuck, that noise.” You heard Yoongi mutter behind you.
You looked at Namjoon who was biting his lip, watching how you fucked yourself on him, and you felt his fingers get tighter on you, making you let out a whine.
Namjoon started pushing you down onto himself harder, making you have to hold onto his arms, almost trying to make him let go of you.
“Joon. Fuck.” His grip didn’t ease up on you all, and your legs were feeling like they were going numb. “Your cock. I’m gonna fucking cum.”
“Come on, princess.” Namjoon spoke, breathing heavy. “You can give me one more. You’ve done so good for the both of us.”
You suddenly felt a set of fingers press against your clit, and start rubbing small circles making your eyes squeeze shut, and you realized it was Yoongi’s fingers since Namjoon still was holding onto you.
“Fuck.” The whine that came out of your mouth probably sounded like you were crying, and your legs started shaking.
You felt yourself almost getting dizzy, your mind in a fucked haze for god knows how long now. Yoongi’s fingers didn’t let up on your swollen clit. Suddenly your thighs almost wanted to close together, and everything felt more wet, not noticing until someone was talking.
“Oh my god…” Namjoon moaned.
“She fucking squirted.” Yoongi swore, his fingers still on you.
You were breathing heavy, looking down at the mess that you made underneath your thighs and onto Namjoon’s stomach.
“Fuck you’re tight.” Your body shuddered at how sensitive you were.
“Cum in me, Joon.” You whined to him. “Please, I need it.”
“Fuck.” His pace with your hips was erratic. “How can I say no?”
Soon after he pushed you down onto his length all of the way, and you felt him release himself inside of you, leaning his head back against the headboard of the bed.
Yoongi moved his fingers away, and Namjoon let go of your hips. You laid forward onto his bare chest, both of you breathing heavy.
Yoongi put his underwear back on and his jeans. “I’m gonna use your bathroom to freshen up.” Namjoon nodded to him before he left the room.
“Are you okay?” He asked, kissing your temple.
“Yeah.” You answered. “My legs? No. I don’t even think i can stand up. You guys fucked me up.” You both laughed.
“So what did you think?” Namjoon asked. “Would you do it again?”
You let out a laugh. “I can see you liked it. I don’t know. If I did it would have to be a little different next time.”
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Growing Up
Scroll rings
Yang:Thank you for calling Domino’s. Is this pickup or delivery?
Ruby:Wow, it’s a week since Kovu left for school and you’ve already gone crazy.
Yang:I miss my little man so much! Dad never told us how much it sucked when we left for Beacon!
Ruby:Bet he’s laughing now. Welcome to club sis. You could always make another one?
Yang:*shivers* I don’t know about all that. Honestly I don’t understand how- ummm
Ruby:How I kept going after one? Heh, well… it took awhile.
Yang:…Sorry. I didn’t mean-
Ruby:I know, and I’m flattered. Also thankful. Carmine may not have been here if I didn’t see you and Blake’s adorable little guy.
Yang:Thanks, but you would’ve found the resolve. Always do. Garnet is even more proof. How is the little hell raiser?
Ruby:At the park with papa. Has Kovu called you about Carmine yet?
Yang:Pfft, no. I’m positive he doesn’t know she’s there, and I’ve been told not to tell him.
Ruby:She called you!?
Yang:Yeah. She was practically begging. Not that she needed to.
Ruby:Hmm….
Yang:….Hasn’t called you in awhile?
Ruby:Not as often as I’d like…I don’t know. It’s complicated. We’re complicated.
Yang:If she’s anything like her mom, which she is, I’m certain Carmine just doesn’t know how to talk to you these days. Let her be for now.
Ruby:I think the one she got from me is using work to ignore figuring stuff out. Can’t think about family drama if you’re busy shooting a Nevermore, hehe sigh… You know what’s weird? I can’t imagine how mom would feel in these situations. She never got see us start living our lives.
Yang:I’m sure she would’ve been a little conflicted like anybody else.
Ruby:On one hand, I want my girl to comeback not just to spend time together, but because I know the world can be dangerous. There’s moments I want to guide her through personally; even if they aren’t the ones she wants to know. On the other hand…I’m highly aware the world is better because of what she’s doing.
Yang:Gee, kinda sounds like when you ran off ahead of everyone all those years ago.
Ruby:That was…kinda different.
Yang:…….
Ruby:Okay, maybe not so different.
Yang:Eventually Carmine is going to learn to either slow down for others to catch up, or go back for them. In this case, I’m leaning towards her coming to you.
Ruby:You sound so certain.
Yang:Of course! Despite the ups and downs, it’s so clear your daughter doesn’t just love you with every bone in her body. Ruby, she’s your biggest fan; the hero she adores shamelessly. That’s tough feelings for a kid, especially when it’s mixed with family. It’s not exactly the same but didn’t you have days you wished mom was around as you improved? Imagine all the things you wanted her to say or do with you as both a parent and a mentor.
Ruby:I could write a book about it. *slouches* Daughters are rough. Don’t know how dad and uncle Qrow managed with us.
Yang:We were awesome and incredibly well behaved!
Ruby:….
Yang:Yeah I didn’t believe it either. Anyways I gotta go. Don’t stress out Rubes. Our kids are growing up. We unfortunately have to trust the process. No matter how much it hurts.
Ruby:Imagine Kovu comes back home with a girlfriend?
Blake, in the distance: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?
Yang:Blake, you met everyone you love there. Including me!
Blake:Still against it.
Yang:What!?
Ruby:*hangs up*
Front Door opens
Ruby:How was the park you two? *turns around*
Carmine:…..
Ruby:…..
Carmine:*walks to stairs*
Ruby:Wait! Hold o- you’re here! In the house!
Carmine:Yes, those are all facts you just said.
Ruby:Did you…hear-
Carmine:Nope. Everything you said on the phone is a mystery. *walks up stairs* …..I’ll help make dinner tonight
Ruby:Heh, okay! Sounds like a plan!
…….
Carmine:*peeks from corner* It’s good to see you by the way. I…missed you. *leaves*
Ruby:(Yeah, definitely my kid.)
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guys guess what i finally fucking finished for the two people that are actually interested in my dm fic (impossible) !!!!!!!
"childhood friends", a d.m. fanfic🐍// chapter 2
NOT PROOFREAD YET AGAIN I AM IN PAIN, TW/CW for physical/verbal abus3, reader's gender not specified, OC insert and it's desire's dad and he fucking sucks, fuck sulphur mélodis all my homies hate sulphur mélodis, this all feels so rushed helpme how do you write, 90% of this isn't canon so don't use this as a source </3, ironically i hate reading angst but ummm
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I pity child me.
So clueless. So young and innocent, not aware of his destiny, and the role he has to play in the adult world. An easily manipulated marionette, just waiting to be grasped and controlled by someone with power.
I wasn't fit for ordinary life. It was obvious since day one - toys were replaced by hardcover books, and the time I could have spent playing was instead fulfilled by studying and learning. None of the adults that I was surrounded by radiated that warm, protective aura of a loving parent. Not even my own father.
And still, I kept trying to find my place in the human world. I clawed through the ever-growing shadows just to make a small mold for myself to fit into the ordinary, even though I knew my pathetic attempts will be suppressed sooner or later. The vision of ideal life was like a small window on a cold, thick wall, but the sunrays seeping through it shined brighter than anything i've ever seen before.
I wanted to be loved.
Even though I knew I was never supposed to be loved.
But what fueled me the most was that night. Their teethy, innocent smile. Their childish way of speaking and all of the sweet joys of life they decided to show me. That night lingered in my head for years, to the point I idealized it way more than i should. It was nothing like i experienced before but it felt like... home. It might have been just an overly glamorized moment, but it gave me hope. Hope that one day I might escape from the empty, lonely world that surrounded me. That there's something better out there. The images of that night etched themselves into my brain, each part looping over and over again to the point I memorized them by heart. But it was all in vain - one part of myself knew that anyway.
To this day, I still wish I stopped trying immediately.
It would have hurt less.
-
The street was empty, except for the fast, loud tapping of feet.
Desire swore that he never ran this fast in his life - he could feel saliva sticking to the sides of his lips and all the various pebbles under his feet trying to kick off his balance. But it didn't matter. Even though his body seemed like he was dying, he never felt more alive. He quickly wiped off the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead with his sleeve, and hid behind a bush in front of his house to catch a breath. The ghastly villa was silent as usual, only the window of his father's office gleaming with cold, bright light.
He slowly picked himself up and got into the house as quickly and silently as possible. Still panting as he folded his coat, he sat beside the clothing rack. He slowly tapped his face as the heat lingered on his fingertips. Damn it, I'm probably red in the face, too. Now that he arrived home safely, the only thing remaining to do was to sneak into his room without alerting anyone.
Trying to sneak through the villa was no easy feat - the house was older than Desire (and probably his father, too) and every single door creaked, even with minimal movement. But there was no other way to get out of this situation without alerting his father in a more obvious way - Desire decided he's going to play the russian roulette of creaky floorboards today. Even if his father notices it, it could be brushed off since all of the butlers had already left the house by this time of the day. Slowly taking his heavy pair of shoes off, he stepped onto the first polished plank, praying to every single deity he could name off the top of his head that it doesn't creak.
The plank responded by silently wedging into the floor under his weight. Thank god. He slowly continued down the hallway, stretching out his legs with every step as if he was some long-legged stork. It was easier to trigger the creaking that way, but it was also the fastest option. Desire just wanted all of this to end, as soon as possible. His glance ended up on the staircase, right in front of him. Moving up the carpet-covered stairs was a way easier challenge, so once he reaches it, the hardest part of the job will be done. After that conclusion, he noticed his feet almost moved on their own. He was sloppier and quicker, but he just couldn't stop the rush of excitement and relief running through his brain in circles. Just a bit more, he thought, adrenaline pumping through his veins, and I'm going to be in my room, sleeping in my bed and dreaming of-
"Desire."
He froze on the spot, and the last step let out an obnoxiously loud creak. He knew that he would screw up, as usual.
"Don't make me call you over for the second time. Come to my office, and hurry up."
His heart felt like it might just break through his ribcage. There was no other choice but to accept his fate and head towards his father's office at the other end of the hallway. He slowly turned away and began walking towards it. It was nauseating, getting closer and closer to the door that seemed to get bigger and bigger with each step. The polychromed silver carvings on the top of it started looking like sharp, massive fangs, as if the door was a monster's gaping mouth ready to swallow him whole. A million thoughts echoed through his mind, none of them being uplifting and helping him calm down. As if that wasn't enough, he felt a knot starting to tie in his stomach, tugging tighter with each new thought popping up.
Finally, he reached the door, feeling his knees slowly twitching as he stood. He laid his hand on the big iron doorknob - it was ice cold, immediately numbing his fingers upon touching it. Hesitatingly, he pushed the door open, and let his eyes adjust to the dim, cold light of the room.
"What's with the slowness? Come over here. Take a seat."
Sulphur Mélodis was a man of tall, menacing stature, making even the most stern of Desire's lecturers flinch when he raised his voice. Despite his build, he was nothing but expensive, yet classy jewelry and sharp, sleek shadows in a fitted, tailored coat. His long charcoal grey hair draped around his neck in thick, gentle waves, and a lone, silver streak of hair ran down by his cheek like a coiled snake. If it wasn't for Desire's vibrant, blue eyes and round chubby face, he'd be a spitting image of his father.
"Father". Ew. That word left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth whenever he had to say it, and even saying it out loud alone felt like a suppresed cough, something he had to forcefully spit out just to get him to pay attention or notice his presence. In reality, Sulphur could be anything but a father, hell, he was more of a potential president candidate than a parent. Desire didn't even consider him a family member sometimes - he was the same like any other of his teachers, butlers and caretakers, treating him as if he was some surreal being or a porcelain doll on a display, except Sulphur was the only one of them that dared to forcefully grip his wrist and put him back to his place. The only one of them that dared to show any actual authority.
He headed towards the end of the table where his father sat, a pulled out wooden chair waiting for him. The dim light couldn't beat the dark shadows, so it only illuminated the sharp edges and corners of his face, carving it out to the point his father's head looked like a skull. Shaking, he sat on the chair and squinted - his eyes finally adapted to the dark and he managed to make out his grey eyes glaring at him. Desire swore on his life that his pupils were just pitch black tunnels that light never refracted from.
"What are you doing up so late? It's already ten o'clock. You should have already been asleep." His father said. His voice was hoarse and silent, but that could change in just about a second.
"I went out to get a cup of warm milk. I couldn't fall asleep." Desire whispered back. What a damn lie. Lying to Sulphur Mélodis was the dumbest thing anyone could do, but here he was, a five-foot-three eleven year old king of all clowns, daring to do so. It was all out of desperation, but he knew damn well that this all could backfire on him in a moment. Still, he dug himself a grave by lying already, and the only thing left to do was to keep digging and pray that the punishment won't be too bad.
"To the kitchen?" Sulphur tilted his head. "The butlers already left your usual dinner for you next to your room. Warm dinner. And this has been going on for years now. How could you forget a crucial part of your routine?"
"I mean, it... happens?"
"Just like that, I presume." He reached into the dark to grab his cane, which always somewhere by his side. He quickly spinned it in his hand, the feather-shaped iron tip pointing at Desire's leg. The tip tore apart the stitched hole in his sock with ease. Desire pressed his lips together. "For silk socks, you have to double stitch to prevent the soft material from ripping apart once again. You've been slacking off during your housekeeping class, haven't you?" One thing was sure, his father was right - Desire often didn't pay attention in classes he considered boring. How would learning how to properly wash glass surfaces help him in life anyway? Sometimes a class would be better spent with a good book on his lap. Besides that, his teacher was a bore. Luckily, even though she wore glasses, she was oblivious to whatever Desire was doing during class, as she seemingly thought reading some fashion magazines during the lecture and lazily assigning tasks would make him get to work.
A gloved finger approached his cheek, rubbing itself onto the sticky surface. "I don't remember ordering peaches for today's meals, either." He silently wiped his hand with a hankerchief.
"I took one from last week's fruit basket. I forgot I had it."
"Those were ripe, homegrown peaches. They would have started rotting by the next two days."
"Well.. maybe you forgot you ordered peaches?"
"That's the thing, Desire: I never forget."
He leaned in towards Desire, two gray, emotionless dots staring directly into his soul. "Not only did you become forgetful and carefree, you're also a horrible liar."
The cane was yet again nested in his palm as he rose up from the chair, towering over his son like a giant. "Come on now. Spit it out. What's happening, Desire? Anything you need to tell me? Everything can be fixed."
It was such an attractive offer. An urge rose up inside of him, an urge to tell him how much he hates having to spend every damn minute of the day studying, how tired he is of being shut up every time he tries to speak up for himself, and how much he despises him. How he hates him for stripping him from his childhood for his own stupid, selfish reasons. How he wants to be free of all the numerous boundaries and limits. He wanted to cry, to scream, to choke on his own tears and point his finger right into his own father's face. But what was the point? It wasn't something solved by tucking a folded stack of cash into one's front pockets and shutting them up, or whatever his father did to get people to mindlessly obey his commands.
"I went out today." He started. What Sulphur said started to seem more like a threat for him to be honest than a sincere encouragement. He was angry at himself - first he decides to lie, and after that he decides to get himself into even more trouble by telling the truth.
"What should I do with that information? On weekends you're allowed to go out for 20 minutes to get some fresh air."
"I don't think you understand. I went out. Away from the house. After dinner."
Sulphur's eye twitched.
"Where did you go?" His voice was still quiet, but Desire could sense the anger in it. He was struggling and gnawing at every word that came out of his mouth, as if he was chewing cement.
"A couple of houses away. I wasn't out for too long anyway."
"This evening you were supposed to have extra English classes. What was the lecturer doing at the time?"
"He went home. You should have seen his face when I handed him the cash and told him to get out as quietly and quickly as possible." His voice was shaky and out of breath, and his legs still trembled, but god, was it a good feeling to snap back for once. He already fucked up simply by trying to get himself out of this situation as soon as possible, so why not die today too?
"Did you go out alone?"
"No. I went with a friend. They were the person who invited me out anyway."
The vein near his father's eye was pulsing as his eyes started seeming emptier and emptier. "I see. You're starting to show some spine." He slowly strutted around his chair, like a vulture circling around a fresh corpse ready to devour it.
"Too bad you decided to show it to the wrong person."
It all went down before Desire could even think of a comeback to his words. The cane slammed the leg of the chair with immense force, making it collapse into pieces, and making him fall down along with it, too. He landed straight on his back, the rough landing pushing all of the air out of his lungs and forcing him into a coughing fit.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" He growled, "Are you even aware of all the numerous sacrifices I make every day all for your education? Of all the money, time and patience I invest into you? And this is how you repay me?". His jaw trembled after every sentence, his cane pointed at Desire like an accusatory finger. "Repay me by being a selfish, ungrateful brat?"
Desire was still coughing, tears piling up on his eyelashes. He didn't have the courage to muster a word. A wave of pain sent pulsing signals to every inch of his body, his limbs feeling like pathetic, breakable sticks as he used up all of his remaining strength to prop himself up with his hand. He felt so miserable, so vulnerable and easily crushed.
"I was never a selfish brat!" Desire's jaw shaked and his lips trembled as he struggled with each scream, full of hatred. His index finger weakly pointed back at his father's cane, twitching as if he could collapse any second. "Y-you just, I-"
Before he could cough up the last sentence, his father's silver cane flashed before his eyes, and the sharp glint permanently engraved itself into his mind.
The painful, scorching feeling suddenly hit his palm and made him cry out in agony. Through tears, he watched the blood leak out of the clean cut that spread itself from his index finger to his wrist. His fingers weren't spaired either, the blunt hit from the edge of the tip bruising them and coloring them a faint purple.
His father twisted the head of the cane once again, making the small, hidden blade in the bottom of it retract. "Don't ever dare speak to me like that again. You're a disgrace, Desire." , a muted voice scowled, every word packed with disgust.
Salty tears kept soaking Desire's face as he winced through the fresh wave of pain that weakened him for the second time tonight. "I...I ... just wanted to experience what every other child did. Or at least, what most of them did", he muttered out quietly, trying not to stumble on his own words, "I... that friend. The person I met that invited me... They were like no one I met before, yet they were so... warm. I could feel the heat lighting up my cheeks whenever I was with them, making me smile on my own. If that's so wrong, why did it feel so... right?"
Sulphur crouched right next to him and exhaled, staring right into his eyes once again. The disgusted grimace on his face seemingly disappeared, at least for a brief moment.
"It's so easy to get swayed in life. Just think, Desire. The average man made his life so simple and enjoyable, to the point he prioritized his own entertainment over more important things, like power and knowledge. Why are you letting things like that obstruct your path all out of a sudden? The path that we paved for you together, that you've been following for years now?"
"I... but what about friends?"
His father slowly exhaled once again, this time speaking more calmly.
"Friends are just another thing created by the average man. Another thing that the modern society made up in order to make people's sad, meaningless lives happier. Instead, there are partners. Co-workers. A "friend" is just a pathetic excuse of a human leech, draining you of all your riches and energy for their own benefit. A friend always expects something in return, even if they don't say so. Think about it - putting so much faith into someone, opening up to them, just for them to move away from you whenever they want and carry all your insecurities, all your flaws and secrets with them and hand them over to anyone else who might be interested. Doesn't it sound bad?"
"But..."
"What do you mean by "but"? Look around for a second, and realize the truth - they manipulated you in order for you to hate me."
Desire's mind suddenly blacked out, processing the words his father whispered to him. Was it really his own conclusion? Did the hatred burn through his childhood unnoticeably, or was it an eye opener when he met them - no, was it something secretly slipped into his mind upon speaking to them? All the confusing theories mashed together into one huge mass of nonsense. Yet, when he looked back at the piercing, black eyes glaring at him expectantly, he couldn't find that gentle warmth of actual love, not even the passing signs of its existence.
"Well..."
"Desire, while growing up, did you have everything you ever needed? Food, water, clean clothes, and all of the books your heart desired?"
"I did, but-"
"Did I ever restrict one of those things as punishment? Did I ever tell you that I hated you? Did I ever say "no" to any of your requests, unless I had a valid reason to do so, which I told you?"
"Um..."
"Make up your mind, Desire."
"...No."
"Exactly."
His sharp jawline relaxed for once as he reached for his cheek and softly caressed it. A faint, sour smile appeared on his face, too, but it was everything but sincere. It was a smile of someone who was drained of all good in the world.
"I only want the best for you, son. And you know that well", he gently spoke through his teeth, "So don't let yourself get swayed with such otherworldly, hateful ideas that tear our family apart. Okay?"
"Yes, dad."
It wasn't okay. It was everything but okay. But he didn't have the power to use up yet another ounce of energy to argue back, to spit out some sad, low-level insult to reignite the argument. While slowly picking himself up from the floor, his father cleared his throat. Without turning around, he whispered: "From tommorrow on, we'll have a... different program for your everyday routine. I'll make sure that no one ever plants such worrisome and hateful thoughts ever again, alright? You can say your goodbyes to that "friend" of yours too."
It was inevitable, but yet, the last sentence stabbed itself right into Desire's heart, like a trusty assassin's dagger mercilessly piercing its victim. "Now, go to sleep. And don't let such things play with your mind and common sense", his father said, closing the door behind him, "You have immense potential, Desire. Make both me and your mother proud. It would break her heart to see you get ruined by something so... primitive."
Throwing himself onto his bed, the blue-eyed boy felt the pain wrap around his body for one last time before falling to sleep. He was defeated and shut up once again, for the millionth time. Trying to desperately grasp for the smile that previously spun itself in his mind like a pop song vinyl, a pearly tear drenched his silk pillowcase. Would he ever see them again? He weakly gripped his bedsheets to feel warmth, to simply hold onto something - but the cold fabric could only gently soak up his sobs and whimpers. Once again, he was just a little helpless boy, whose cries could only be witnessed by his cold, dark room.
#identity v#idv#idv headcanons#idv imagines#identity v headcanons#idv fanfic#identity v x reader#idv scenarios#idv x reader#identity v x you#idv joseph#idv photographer#identity v joseph#identity v photographer#photographer idv#joseph idv#joseph identity v#joseph desaulnier#idv dm#truth and inference#desire melodis
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Mummy P13
Media TMR AU
Character Newt
Couple Newt X Reader
Rating Dark
Concept Mummy Series
Warnings! this is a serious warning!
For Horrific abuse, manipulation, insane treatment, Violence, miscarriage, and other dark subject matter.
I woke up with a terrible feeling in my stomach, so I pushed the covers away and stood up stroking my bump softly I gave newt a kiss and headed out the toy room in my nightie I walked slowly down the corridor noticing light downstairs so I walked down the stairs noticing the fire place burning bright and Ava sat in her chair with a cigarette in hand an a large book
"Burning the midnight oil?" I asked
"Oh. Hello dear" she smiled
"What are you up to?"
"Oh just with your little one coming, I thought I'd have a flip through the old photo albums from when newt was small" she says
"That's nice" I smiled getting myself a glass of milk and Going to the sofa "may I?'
"Course" she says so I sat down on the sofa "here he is. He loved taking little baths in the sink" she smiled showing me a little picture
"Aww that's sweet"
"Always loves his bubbles"
"He still does"
"Ummm... he here is on his second birthday the day he got his train" she smiled showing me another photo
"Awwww that's so cute" I smiled "newt says he might clean up his train give it to baby when she's old enough"
"...oh"
"Would that be okay?'
"Course. It's his train. He can do what he likes with it" she says sounding a little angry but we continued on showing me various pictures
"What's that?' I asked seeing a picture of newt playing with a man behind him
"That's janson. Newts uncle of sorts"
"I see."
"He's the closest newts ever known to a father. Such a tragedy"
"Why? What happened?" I asked sipping my milk
"Poor little newt lost his temper."
"He- what?"
"Yes. He and newt where such sweethearts together always playing and reading stories but... one night after a particular story. Newt got angry with him lost his temper. Next I knew janson had a butterknife thought his frontal lobe"
"What happened?"
"I don't know. I was dealing with a guest at the time. Newt never told me."
"Why would newt hurt him?"
"I don't know darling." She shurgs "enjoying that?" She asks looking at my glass
"Yeah it's fine" I shrug the moment she said those words I tasted that strangeness in my tongue it had always been here with the milk in this house but I never thought much of it and honestly if mostly gotten used to it by now until she mentioned it.
"Good. It'll help baby" she says tapping my belly
"Why?"
"Hum?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Some don't like the taste" she shrugs
"Of the milk?"
"Yes" she says flipping through the photos "would you like to know something?"
"Yes. I would"
"I made that milk"
".... you. What?"
"I made it"
"M-made it?" I asked trying not to be sick
"I did. When newt was young he was just the sweetest he'd nuzzle up in my arms and drink for as long as he needed too. But as he got bigger it got harder to hold him and keep him cosy, we use to lay on the sofa together and he'd drink, but then came his teeth"
"His teeth?"
"At first it was fine but he would bite by accident. The poor little boy didn't know any better. So we removed them"
"Removed them?"
She showed me a photo of a young newt I assumed at first that his front teeth must have just been missing at the time but given her words I looked closer
"To keep breastfeeding him... you ripped out his baby teeth?"
"I did. He was such a sweetie barely even cried"
"How old was he?"
"Seven"
"He already lost two on his own after he ran into a door the silly boy"
"You riped his teeth out so you could keep breastfeeding him. Do you understand how sick that is?"
"It was our special time between mummy and baby when you have your child your understand. It's a beautiful moment to watch your child feed from you. It's so beautiful I wanted it just a while longer" she says "when his big boy teeth came in he was ever so gentle with me but he was so hungry I could barely keep up. He wanted to be with me all day everyday and that just wasn't practical anymore. So I gave it up. Our sweet bonding time."
"So now" I asked even if I knew the answer looking at the glass in my hand
"I pump. Freeze it and store it for milk. For cookies. For pancakes."
"You cook with it?"
"Of course so everyday I know my baby gets a taste of his mummy"
"Everything with milk it in came-"
"Yes. What's wrong you seem awfully pale dear"
"The first thing I ate here was pancakes made with your milk. All this time every drink every food it's all been... yours."
"Of course"
"That... that's sick. Your a sick woman. Does he know?"
"What?"
"Does he know! What you've been feeding him?"
"Well I never completed told newt that-"
"So no. He doesn't know. That your Still feeding him breast milk!" I yelled
"Now now don't stress the baby"
"That's what you did to him. You've conditioned him for so long. Slowly working at his mind that he doesn't need anyone else. All so he'd stay with you. You didn't let him go to school all so he wouldn't know any better or meet anyone else and he'd stay with you. He doesn't know how to cook, how to shop, how to even take a bath for himself all so he had to rely on you, You fed him your own breast milk all these years denied him other foods to keep him small. Weak. Unable to fight back and so he would stay with you. He's not a skinny little boy he's malnourished! God knows when even saw the sun last. You've made him physically unable to leave you. So he won't ever go of his own accord. And so when you die... you'll selfishly take him with you" I said getting to my feet smashing the glass in the floor letting it still across the wooden floorboards
"Damn right I will!" She yelled "he's mine. And not even death will take him from me." She says "when your child is born. You'll understand the bond and the love I have for newt. And I guarantee everything I have done you will do for your child"
"No. I won't. Because first chance we get. Me. My baby. And newt are getting out of here"
"Are you?" she glares
The next thing I knew I was on the floor, my body hurting in every place I knew. I had never felt pain like this before unable to hold back my screams of pain. I looked down and saw my stomach it was moving, shifting, and blood gushing from between my legs. "Uuuuhhh... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I screamed feeling the horrific pain rushing through me watching the blood gush all over the wooden floor.
"Y/n! Y/n!" I heard newt shouting I glanced to the stairs seeing him rush down only half dressed immediately taking me in his arms "Ohh my god... Okay. it's okay you'll be okay" He nods in panic beside me "what's going on?" he asked as ava stood at the kitchen counter "Mother! Please!" but she didn't move
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed feeling this unstoppable pressure pushing out of me "Newt... Please. Baby" was all the words I could force out of me
"Baby, No. No no it's okay your okay, babies gonna be okay" He muttered tears welling up in his eyes as he got a cushion from the sofa to support my back and moved to between my legs peaking under my nightie and he turned white as he looked wiping tears away "Ohh my god... its okay" He said even if I could tell he was lying to me
all I could do was stare at the ceiling and scream
"Mother!" He yelled desperation in his voice
she didn't move
"Mother please! get over here and help me please!" he begged
she didn't move
I was barely even conscious beyond measure of pain time impossible to categorize my body still pushing blood, cracking and pushing through horrific agonizing pain
"Mother please!" he begged "Please! our baby!" He cried in desperation trying to get her to help him
but still she refused to move.
"Please mother please! our baby!"
"AAAAAAAHHHH AVA PLEASE!" I begged her
But she had no care at all
I couldn't help but cry and scream in the horrible pain until the pain suddenly stopped and my whole body ached and burnt in such a way my vision was barely even clear but I looked down and saw newt tears flooded down his face, his arms and chest bloody as he held in his hand a baby.
Its skin was bright red and bloody, its head elongated with fleshy veins across it, the only thing clear about it was its skeleton as it the tiny skeleton had merely red flesh stretched over it and little else about it, the poor thing was no bigger than six inches long.
It was a boy.
A little boy. and he wasn't breathing.
The umbilical cord still attached to the placenta that sat oozing on the floor between my legs no larger than an orange.
I had seen such horrible sights before, but never like this.
And the sounds... that came from his lips.
Where not like anything I had ever heard before.
I was frightened of the way he was last his mother hurt me but this... this was beyond that.
whines, screams, gasps and endless tears, these sounds animalistic, uncontrollable, as he held our baby in his arms.
honestly, I was no better than unable to stop my tears.
"our baby... our poor poor baby" he cried
"I know, I know. It's okay newt. it's not your fault"
"Yes, it is! I did something! it's my fault!"
"No no no it's not your fault it's not your fault I promise," I told him to try my best to keep him together as well as myself
"I'm - I'm so sorry" he cried coming close holding me with his spare arms pulling both me and the baby into his chest tightly his forehead against my own sharing our tears as I looked at the tiny baby in his hand its tiny mouth held its own thumb still the smell of blood filled my nose.
and even if I failed to recall the time between our talk and this moment... I knew.
This was no accident.
"Mother... why didn't you help us?" He pleaded with her
"I'm sure... you had it under control baby boy" she says sounding distant and hollow not even turning to look at us
"I didn't! and you know I didn't! I was calling you! screaming for you!" He told her
"I didn't want to be in the way" she says "Take her to the toy room darling, she needs her rest."
"Come on y/n. I don't want you to stay down here" he says he passed me out little baby letting me hold him in my hand softly as he picked me up and carried us upstairs.
#newt#newt maze runner#newt imagine#tmr newt imagines#newt imagines#tmr newt imagine#tmr newt smut#the maze runner newt smut#newt smut au#tdc newt smut#newt smut#tmr newt au#tmr newt#tmr newt fanfic#TMR#tmr smut#tmr sex#tmr series#tmr smut imagines#tmr smut imagine#thomas#thomas brodie sangster#thomas sangster#thomassangster#thomasbrodiesangster#thomas sangster imagine#thomas brodie sangster i#thomas broide sangster imagine#thomas brodie sangster imagine#thomas brodie sangster smut
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Family
A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth
A/n: And…. Second chapter!
Warnings: mentions of death
Milly's POV:
After Calum left unexpectedly, I was happy when my phone rang and I saw Louis' caller ID. Finally getting my mind off of him and his weird reaction.
"Hello lovely brother!" I answered the phone. He didn’t answer immediately.
"Everything okay over there Milly? You never call me that." Louis can read me like an open book, like Calum. He immediately finds out when something’s going on and we mostly tend to mess with one another, we always did that and it will probably never change.
I let out a nervous breath. Telling both of them on the same day was definitely not my plan, but spontaneous things are normally better than plans.
"Ummm… I had an argument with Calum today. Not that deep though, don’t worry." Louis was overprotective, very overprotective and especially when we’re talking about the boyfriends of his little sisters. So adding that is a better idea, if I don’t wanna risk Calum's safety.
"Oh, I'm sorry, what happened? What did he do?"
"He just didn’t quite understand decisions I made…" I heard him holding his breath. He already knew where this is going. He then said:
"Do you want to find them?" He didn’t even had to add, who they were, I knew right away. There was this weird understanding between us.
"Yes.”
"And you’re doing it alone.”
"Yes."
I wasn’t able to say much more. I was too scared of his reaction. It took him some time to respond, which made me go crazy. What is he gonna say? Is he mad?
"You know Milly, you'll always be my sister. The DNA doesn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter to anyone in our family. It didn’t matter to mum. We love you." He paused for a second, taking a deep breath.
"But if you feel like doing this, I'll support you and just know we’re here, Lots, Phoebe and Daisy, me, even Fizz and mum." I teared up. Getting his support is the biggest thing he could give me.
"Thanks Lou, I love you so much!" I said, trying to stop the tears from falling.
"And by the way, if Calum has a problem with you doing this alone, he literally doesn’t deserve you." That made me laugh. Louis never fails to make me happy again whenever I cried. Oh how much I loved him and how happy I was, he is my brother.
Later at night, at about 8 pm, I heard the door closing and Calums footsteps on the stairs. I sat in the bedroom watching my favorite Harry Potter movie, the prisoner of askaban while eating tons of oreos, my favorite type of food. In the scene where Remus misses class and Snape teaches the students about werewolves, Cal enters the room, looks what’s on the TV and lies down right next to me, putting his arm on my shoulders. The butterflies were going wild in my stomach, as if he didn’t already do that hundreds of times. He then quickly grabs the remote and pauses the movie. My head quickly turned to him, looking at his beautiful face. How lucky was I, to have a boyfriend like him? My cute little Cal.
"Could you maybe hear me out?" He said. I wasn’t mad at him, just confused what caused that reaction after I opened up to him about my plans for the future. I wanted to know what I did wrong.
"Of course.” I responded. I really wanted to hear what he had to say, happy he already wants to apologize. Normally, it takes days for Calum to realize his mistakes or understand his feelings. He’s often overwhelmed by his own emotions and doesn’t know how to react.
"I'm sorry." He looked like a baby, like a literal baby.
"I didn’t want to react like this, but, what I later realized was, that I was just afraid they could hurt you and I wouldn’t be there to protect you." Oh my god, I never even thought about that, that he actually worried about that, not being able to protect me and be there for me. Now I felt bad, really bad.
"Oh, sweetie, I didn’t even thought about that! I’m so sorry!" I silently added 'Thanking his bandmates for helping him understand his feelings and giving him the courage to directly talk to me' to my To-Do list because he was only already doing this because of them. Calum pulled me into a soft, warm hug.
"You did nothing wrong." He then whispered in my ear. I felt safe. For me, a safe place was wherever Calum was. But still, I had to do this adventure alone, finding out about my family, my heritage. It’s what I planned to do a long time ago. I promised it, even though it was a promise to myself.
Calum then took again the remote and pressed 'play' so the movie continued.
"Let’s do a Harry Potter date night, shall we?“ he asked and I happily went to get more snacks. Feeling better because we talked about our misunderstanding and can get back to the good things in life. Watching Harry Potter was definitely a part of it.
Cal's POV:
Lying here, with his arms wrapped around her, watching their comfort movie together, was Calum's happy place. He wanted to do nothing else, but this. With her, he was himself, his true self. Nothing could hurt him whenever she’s around. His world is all around her. And in a situation he felt exactly how he felt when the first kiss in Phoenix happened. The fireworks in his stomach were going off again and he only saw her. His beautiful girlfriend. He knew, it’s going to be hard, letting her go, to find her parents. Knowing anyone can hurt her, that thought stressed him. But he knew, she’s strong. She’s a strong, independent lawyer who fights for her clients, fights for everyone who needs it.
"Milly, just know that I believe in you. I’m gonna be there for you, whenever you need it." He whispered, but he didn’t get a response. She fell asleep, right in his arms, looking like the cutest person on earth. How lucky was he, to have a girlfriend like her?
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Omg hi sooooo BSJDJEJE nazuna brainrot. so UMMM can i request anthing hurt/comfort nazuna related :3
𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 | nazuna nito x reader
[an]: hi, lovely! <3 tysm for requesting! ^^ i relate because ikr nazuna is so goddamn precious (*´꒳`*) quite understandable why he is mostly in everyone’s brainrot session lmfao must be protected
summary: it’s often hard to communicate about your feelings to anyone, including if they already had their own problems to take care of. yet you never could imagine a ball of sunshine to brighten your day and your smile to this world.
pairing: nazuna nito x gn!reader!
genre: small angst, fluff at the end! hurt/comfort
ah, this sucks..
not only were you feeling terrible today, stuck with a workload of homework and projects, even with a position as the producer for ra*bits piled up over your sleeve, but have to hear some of your friends rant over to you even if you weren’t in the mood to hear anyone out.
you were tired, you wished everyone would know that.
ranting out was…hard. you haven’t told anyone honestly about your feelings of what you think. it was difficult. so difficult. you thought, ‘oh nonsense i would be able to spit it out one day, i just need time.’ that one day became full years of loneliness. you hated yourself more for it. although, it is was it is. living with it was your choice now, not anyone else’s.
pushing the last book back on its shelf, you looked down, face drowned in an emotionless expression as you tried your best to clear your thoughts about the past and what you’ve been through. the library was a good spot for clearing mindsets. that’s why here you are, putting back the books you finished reading. these senses were normal, it’s not like they happen once a month (mostly every day or week you would say). still, you considered try calling help or rant on the internet to let a reliever, but even that was a difficult task. you sighed.
‘what am i even doing? i need to hurry up for today’s practice for ra*bits. tomoya is probably worrying about me…we don’t want that to happen now..’ at least your thoughts were still clinging on. just as you were about to leave, you heard a couple more students standing up from their desks from behind you—leaving the books they left opened on the table, not even bothering to put them back. an irk mark popped through your head. honestly…you were too tired for this.
another deep sigh escaped your lips as you made your way towards the desks and picked up the books that were left. and here you though university students had the small bit of decency in themselves when it comes to public matters. that thought added to your head just pissed you off even more. ahh, you were close to breaking down. with this emotion running you through it might be obvious for the others around you to know that you’re in a bad mood.
as you pushed the books back in place on the shelf, you failed to realize that your hand pushed them off back too far away, making the books from behind fall off their own place, leaving a ‘thud!’ only loud enough for you or the others around your area to hear. the shelf left a small hole from behind, allowing to peek through the eye of what was going on over the back. you cursed silently under your breath. ‘goddamn it!’ fuck this.
before you could even go to pick those books up, you spot a certain familiar face staring right at you from the hole. you froze in place, then…
“ah! found you!”
“n-nii-chan..!?”
nazuna was quick to approach your figure after he picked the books right back up. as the male skipped his way over to you, an adorable smile stretched over his face, as if he was excited to see that you’re here. “found you, y/n! aha! tomoya has been looking for you, you know? turns out you were just here.”
“uhh…yeah, sorry. i just had to clear my mind with some books. but don’t worry about me…! i was actually going to make my way there for the practice, you can head over there first i’ll follow after,” you told him, and he seemed to only had a curious gaze over your face, not saying anything at all. you nervously smiled at him, “ahaha..! i’ll be alright i promise. i’ll just fix these books, grab my stuff, then i’ll head over there as soon as i can.”
another thin line of silence erupts.
you felt even more sheepish with the awkwardness growing between the atmosphere. is it just you or did the room grow colder? nazuna continued to focus his stares towards your figure, saying nothing with a finger attached to his chin as if he was thinking. a cold sweat ran down your forehead, “nii-chan, what’s wrong?”
“are you alright?”
“eh?” that question seemed to appear out of nowhere. nazuna places both of his arms down his hips, his face still not changing away. “are you doing alright, y/n?” he asks again, and it took you a while to progress the answer. of course, you laughed it off after a moment of a 30 second silence. “aha..! of course i’m alright, what are you talking about?” you chuckled, and nazuna chuckles back, brushing the hem of his neck. “oh, i see. i thought something might have happened to you and i was worried..” he says, and you smiled softly, gripping the books on your hands, “i’m fine, nii-chan. now you go on now, sorry i had to make you look for me here.”
“oh, it’s fine actually. i was also here to just take a small stroll but, at least i found you!” he chirps, before turning around to head back out. “you sure you don’t want me to wait for you so we can go there together?”
“i would just be taking up time, it’s fine, honest! i’ll meet up with you guys later like i said. don’t worry about me..!” you reassured the male. he smiles at you one last time before heading off out of the library. after his presence was absent from your view, you slowly slid down on the floor, making sure no one was around and…cried.
you cried as silently as you could, trying your best not to catch the attention of the others around the public area. you just couldn’t hold it in anymore. it has been a pretty long time since someone asked you that question. ‘are you alright?’
no, you weren’t. everything is just shit, crashing apart to you—and it blows. you hated yourself, and you hated everything. you quickly wiped the fat tears off of your eyes with your sleeves, sniffing off as quiet as you could. if only…if only ranting was easy.
as you placed your head down to your knees, trying to calm yourself down, you heard a bunch of books falling to your side of the shelf, causing you to flinch and turn around to see what it was. around 3 to 5 books were fallen off of the bookshelf, and it wasn’t just that.
“i knew it.” a familiar voice spoke out of the hole from the shelf. you jumped, turning over to see who it was and you were correct. it was nazuna.
“n-nii-chan!? w-why are you…?”
“still here? you really thought i would leave you like that, y/n? your face was literally screaming ‘no, i’m not doing ok,” he explains, and your eyes followed him as he stood up and walked over to your side. as the male sat beside you, the books he pushed off now in his arms and sat on his lap, he pulls you close to his side, shoulders now touching. “i’m not a kid, y/n. i know when a person is ok or not. and you’re, one of them that i read,” he says, and you felt embarrassed at the moment he just looks at your sobbing state.
“hey, don’t cover your face. it’s ok to cry.”
“it’s embarrassing.”
“no, it’s not. trust me, we all need to go through that. and honestly? it’s all good.” you looked at his beautiful ruby eyes, his smile turning into a comfort zone, he slowly brushed a strand of your hair off of your face as your tears steadily poured down his shoulder. and when he stared at you like that you just…spat everything out.
you told him everything that was bothering you, and surprisingly he listened. he listened so attentively. all his attention was driven to you. he really was like an older brother. but you didn’t just view him like that. he was…he was…
“who cares what they think at all? if they can’t respect you why would you respect them? what you did was brilliant, y/n. i am not proud of how they treated you at all,” he says to you, and you chuckled. for real this time. nazuna wiped the small tear that fell off your cheek, and sighed. “you know, it is a rough patch when you go through things like that in life. it’s a difficult obstacle to go at. tomoya and the others also faced through things like that, don’t worry. you’re not alone. i’m here with you. we’re here with you,” nazuna takes a grab of your hand…and you squeezed it.
“if you think about it, it’s not that world that’s scary. it was us that made the view of others so terrifying…” he continued. “the world is beautiful. you just need to keep going no matter how hard the course is. besides, without you, ra*bits would’ve been confused without such a reliable producer in our group, don’t you think?” he cheers, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“i’m glad you finally let your voice out. are you doing alright now? just tell me if i’m missing something out, i would like to hear the entire entireee story!” he questions, and you shook your head, laughing at his expression. “no, i promise this time i’m alright. thank you, thank you so much, ni-chan…” you say, and he shot you a beam. his smile really was more beautiful than this world. “the next time i hear you look down on yourself, i’m going to spank you!”
you laughed. after a while, you felt your throat was free from a cord that was cut off. and everything about your body felt so…relieved. this was the first time you felt like this. and it was amazing. slowly, you laid your head down on nazuna’s shoulder, and you could feel him wince.
“the world is beautiful…because you’re in it.”
a/n: I HATE THIS I’M SO SORRY RUSJFJSNS I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A BIT RUSHED 😭😭😭
requests: opened!
#lucy works 🍕💗#lucy’s works 📚✨#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars x reader#ensemble stars x reader#nazuna nito#nazuna x reader#fluff#hurt/comfort
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…Now where’s Kayna? She probably knows how to decipher this…
… hm ? are you looking for mauna ?
(Sprigg turns around and looks at a gloomy Monster with long, handless arms, a very long dress, and “hair” that covers their eyes. They have rainbow-colored ballroom gloves, a shooting star hairclip with a matching necklace, and a black satin belt.)
Who are you?
oh , um , sorry . i could not help but notice . i am looking for her too , you see .
…Who’s Mauna?
the only kayna who lives here . she also has a home on tribal island . are you looking for her ?
Uh… yeah. Why are you looking for her, too, exactly?
… er , never mind .
What?
i was going to tell her i liked her . not in a friend way . more like an … “ i want to grow old , do taxes , and laundry with you for the rest of my life ” way . please do not tell anybody .
Oh. Okay. Anyways, you seen her anywhere?
… i told her to meet me under the stars , near that tree . she is probably there already . does that help ?
Yeah. Yeah, that helps. I’m looking for her so she can help me decode… whatever the fuck this is.
(Sprigg shows the gloomy Monster the book page with the strange hieroglyphs on it.)
hmm … she is an expert decoder . maybe she can help . follow me .
Thanks. Anyways, what’s your name?
oh . my name is … hmm …
You don’t have one?
no no no , i do have a name , it’s just i am bad at remembering certain things …
ah . you can call me moperetta . i do not mind being referred to as anything . and you are …?
Sprigg. I go by “they.”
okay , sprigg . let us go and find mauna .
(Sprigg and Moperetta go and find Mauna, and eventually find her sitting next to a large tree with branches that droop down.)
hello ? mauna ?
Hm ? Oh , hi Moperetta ! Is there something you wanted to tell me ?
well , er ..
ummm …
… nevermind . this other monster needs your help … ( more than i need it . )
Oh . Okay . Hey , you are the curious green fellow from Tribal , right ?
Yeah. I need some help deciphering this… I’ve already got “Starhenge” and “collapse” down, but the rest I don’t know.
Hmm … oh , this will even take ME a while . I will just study this for a few weeks …
Excuse me, fucking WEEKS?!
Just kidding !
(Oh, thank Galvana.)
Maybe give me time . This will take a while , anyway , so is there anything you wanted to say , Moperetta ?
umm … sprigg , you can go , now … i would much prefer if i could just have a small conversation with mauna .
Alright, you do you. Good luck.
(Sprigg leaves the two lesbians Mauna and Moperetta by themselves, under the large, droopy tree.)
… Good luck with what ?
umm …
(Moperetta gives Mauna a kiss on the cheek, then a small envelope and runs away.)
Oh . Guess I should read this before that , haha !
—————meanwhile, at Crysta and Ritika’s house, with Toorie and Mondo—————
So I Was There In The Water , Flailing My Arms Because None Of Us Know How To Swim , And -
(Sprigg opens the door.)
oh hey
wassup sprigg
Hi !! Toors was telling us a story ,, wanna hear ??
Nope. I’ve been in the exact same situation.
Oh okay
Hey , Why Are You So Gloomy ?
The deciphering’s gonna take a long time so we have to stay here for a few days.
k then
That’s Perfectly Fine With Me !! It Just Means I Get To Spend Quality Time With My Sisters :D
EEEEEEEEEE !!!!
(Crysta grabs Ritika and Toorie and pulls them into an EXTREMELY tight sister hug.)
Ahaha , No Need To Get So Intense , Cryssie !
yeah, it kinda hurts…
Oh .. Sorry ,, sisters !!
(Crysta lets go of her sisters. Ritika rubs her arm, sore from the very tight embrace.)
yknow my sister can hug harder than that
Oh ,, really ??
mhm just come to cold island when this trip is done and youll see
Well ,, I bet she can’t beat me in a HUGGING CONTEST !!
nah she has some serious fucking muscle
(Toorie nudges Mondo.)
Mondo , Language !! Crysta’s Kind Of Young .
Hey ,, I’m 11 !!
I Know . Young .
(( Man ,, it sucks being the youngest .. ))
(Crysta, being the drama queen she is, crosses her arms with a grumpy expression.)
alr
my sister has some serious freaking muscle so be careful
Okay ..
Crysta , How About You Go To Your Room ? It’s Almost Time To Sleep .
But Toooooooorie —
toorie’s right, we better get to sleep early.
Ugh ,, fine ..
Mondo , You Can Share A Room With Me !
oh
(hUHAGYJGFQHGJ@JHAG)H3:;MSBSMHVSMHVHSV:;#*HK# #J*#*#*#(*#’GEIHGDJHGSNS,MNSNZ,MNX,BKJXVMNXVS 87#* 8(#)
ok
Good Night , Everyone !
—————Meanwhile, with Sprigg in the kitchen—————
(…)
(Starhenge… collapse…)
(Hmm…)
(What could this mean?)
(And considering the shooting star Boo’qurm saw, and the fact that nobody has heard from the Celestials, who are usually pretty sociable for deities, in eons…)
(…)
I should go to sleep. I’ll think about this more tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
yeaaaaaaaah UH anyways they have ages now!! (and again with me making so fucking many headcanons for the trio that they’ve become my own OCs at this point-)
toorie is 22, mondo is 21, and sprigg is 24, and them being the oldest is kind of surprising since they’re like 3 feet tall lmao
also I imagine crysta sounding like the “I’m 11 so shut the fuck up” girl lolz
-Mod Jimmy 🗣️
#msm#my singing monsters#msm au#my singing monsters au#furcorn#furcorn msm#fluoress#fluoress msm#kayna#kayna msm#pompom#pompom msm#mammott#mammott msm#TooToo#TooToo msm#sooza#sooza msm
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ummm have a surprise part 3 to vamp nancy. this was already written in my docs (and honestly i forgot i wrote it lmao) but!
(part 1 || part 2)
“Any luck?” Nancy asks, frustration building by the second. They’ve been sitting in her basement for god knows how long, scanning through a countless amount of books on legends, folklore, and other assortments of myths. And frankly, everything is beginning to get on Nancy’s nerves. Everything feels like it’s been dialed up to eleven, from the sound of the pages turning, to the wind rustling the leaves outside, to whatever Mike is whispering about on the phone in his room.
Her eyes dart around the room, trying to find something, anything, to focus on that’s not the book in front of her, the sounds outside, upstairs, and everywhere else. Her eyes fall to Robin, who’s still shaking her leg as she scans through the pages open in front of her, chewing on her bottom lip. Nancy can’t help but think that maybe this is Robin’s natural element, surrounded by books, solving puzzles and problems. She seems to enjoy it well enough. She studies Robin, eyes falling on the base of her neck, where Nancy can hear the blood pulsing. Her gaze lingers there, and suddenly she’s very glad Robin’s nose is stuck in the book.
Robin doesn’t look up. “Mmm, nope. These last three books have given me almost the exact same information, and no mention of any cures. Not even that freaky witchcraft book there.” She jabs her thumb at a particularly dusty looking book, one that Nancy was incredibly surprised to see that Robin picked. Half of it wasn’t even in English.
“Damn.” Nancy mutters, but her voice is detached; she’s still fixated at the place on Robin’s neck. Can’t tear her eyes away, actually. Pain pricks in her jaw, her throat burns. Robin’s eyes flick up and catch her stare. Shit.
“Nance? You okay?” Her face flushes a pretty pink, but her eyes are soft and full of concern. Nancy forces her gaze away from the spot on her neck to look at her face. Her brain’s fuzzy; she can’t think straight, and she doesn’t want Robin here. Not because she doesn’t like her, no, quite the opposite actually. She enjoys Robin’s company, really, but because of her recent…condition…she can’t stand to be in the room with her for too long or else she starts going crazy.
(She still can’t get herself to say vampire, but it doesn’t have as much sting as it used to.)
And Nancy really doesn’t want to hurt Robin, not with this newfound strength and certainly not with sharp canines embedded in her neck.
She smiles, lips drawn tight. “Yeah, fine.”
But Robin doesn’t stop staring. She stares like she’s reading Nancy, drilling straight into her soul. Perhaps she is. She stares with so much care in her eyes that it makes Nancy sick.
(Nancy loves her. She loves Robin so much it hurts. She revels in Robin’s starry-eyed stare.)
Nancy clenches her jaw, and her hand under the table, little crescent shapes forming in the palm of her hand. Please stop staring at me before I do something stupid.
#ronance#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#vamp nancy au#vampire nancy wheeler#stranger things#my writing#gonna update the sweet tooth work on ao3 after this heh#and continue the prompt work!#again i forgot i wrote this and i didn't even check it so if something looks off...🔫#(jk pls let me know so i can improve!)
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6, 11, 17, 21, 42 from mcr ask game, 2, 3, 5, 10 from book ask game, 8, 9, 12, 21, 23, 27 from the other one andddd finally 🌻!! sorry if that was too many i got carried away :3
ILYYYY no this is so sweet. thank u so much for these . im gonna put them under a cut bc im incapable of being concise.
6. favorite ray era?
ok god i rly thought abt this. i honestly sort of want to say current era and its NOT bc of recency bias i just , i think hes so . like . i think hes got a confidence and comfort in his stage presence thats so so compelling and beautiful and i love him. idk im not explaining well but .
11. favorite MCR album art?
its the nanana single cover. like theres probably some i actually like more as art pieces but the na na na single was the first thing mcr i was like , consciously aware of, and i just feel like the cover captures that song and the album SOOO well. thts her btw & i would for real kill to own this asdkfjh
17. favourite MCR lyric all-time?
THATS SO CRUEL TO ASK :(( ummm well foundations is some of my fav lyrics i know EVERYONE will say you must fix your heart and you must build an altar where it swells is their favorite but thats because its lyrics of all time like it never DOESNT hit. but also umm "you'll never get to heaven with a love like yours" they did during my concert and i have visceral memory of Screaming that. scarecrow also has some of my fav lyrics like the chorus and second verse...
21. MCR song you would crash a car to?
CALL MCR A CAR CRASH BECAUSE IM UNDRSTANDING G . umm i legit had to stop playing danger days in the car bc it made me drive like a maniac. like na na na vampire money and destroya ill crash a car to. & vampires will never hurt you tbh. ill crash a car to any myhcem song i dont give a shit
42. happiest MCR-related memory?
THATS SUCH A HARD QUESTION both bc theres a lot of happy and because i have a really really poor memory and cant remember all the nice things : ( umm i rly liked going to mcr together with everyone online. also i have a dear friend who stayed up rly late in their timezone to watch a livestream of my concert with me & livetweet it and i got to stay up with some friends to watch livestreams of THEIR shows and i think that was rly special. and actually being at the show was some of the most intense beautiful pure joy ive ever had really truly so like. yeah.
GOD THI S IS SO LONG ALREADY IM SO SORRY im gonna reblog with an addition to answer the rest ok?
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(U do not need to answer this question AT ALL and I’m so sorry if it makes u uncomfortable in any way) but I was just wondering; how did you know you were aroace? Recently I’ve been struggling with whether or not the term applies to me. Online tests are super confusing and they don’t rlly help 💀 tysm and again PLEASE do not feel forced to answer this at all :) <33
it doesn't make me uncomfortable in ANY way!!! don't worry <33 i love helping people with this stuff, especially since aroaces don't have as much information out there as other types of attraction!!
it's funny but i actually realized thanks to an awesome book called "loveless". it's written by alice oseman (yeah, same as heartstopper. so you already know it's good) and it literally changed my whole perspective on the term and myself!
basically, thanks to reading this i realized that i don't feel sexual attraction for anyone! at first i thought i was bisexual, because 0x0=0 right? i felt the same for everyone so i genuinely thought i was bi! but turns out i just... didn't feel anything sexual towards anyone.
and it was a rough thing to accept for me, because i am a person with a high libido and i've always been interested in sex. but those things have nothing to do with being asexual! everyone talks about that label as if it meant not wanting to have sex or not feeling any libido at all, but not everyone is sex repulsed and some of us get horny for other stuff that isn't bodies!
tbh i also realized that i don't want to have sex, i was just highly influenced by society and what it meant to be hot and be liked by other people. so ummm yeah, it was hard for me to relate to posts about asexuality when everyone talked about it in such a reduced way and i was pretty obsessed with being liked by others in a sexual way.
plus, i've always liked reading smut and stuff like that and nobody tells you!!! that it doesn't have anything to do with being asexual!!! you can like sexual content and be sexual with people without feeling sexual attraction towards them!!! i wished somebody had told me that sooner, that way i wouldn't have needed a book to tell me.
i realized i was aromantic (greyromantic, actually, but it's inside the umbrella term) because all my relationships always ended in the same way. i thought i liked someone romantically, and the very same moment we started dating i got the ick. everything they did disgusted me and everything related to romanticism within the relationship scared me. so i always pushed them away or waited for them to break up with me. and let me tell you: it's really fucked up.
because i used to think there was something wrong with me. that i was broken. that i was a horrible person and i didn't know how to love. so i desperately entered relationships that only lasted like less than two months looking for something that made me feel... complete? but that doesn't exist! if you love someone romantically you don't self sabotage the relationship that way. i did it because i wasn't truly in love with them and i confused friendship with love CONSTANTLY. that made me hurt some people i genuinely cared about. normativity is a bitch.
everyone tells you how to love. tv shows, movies, books, society... but no one tells you that maybe you just... don't? and there's nothing wrong with that!! you can be complete without feeling romantic or sexual attraction, really. you just have to be yourself and live your life. there's so so many ways to love people, don't ever get stuck thinking romance is the only one.
when you are straight, lesbian, gay etc etc you KNOW how to love. your label tells you how to do it. but when i realized i was aroace? i felt so damn lonely. i still do, sometimes. and i have a girlfriend (we're both greyro, btw, it's practically a qpr but there's also love involved- it doesn't read matter now)!! because when you are aroace, you just... don't do anything. you just live your life as it already is. and i promise you that it's so so so much cooler when you accept that you only need yourself and other types of love to be happy!!
i still struggle with a bit of internalized aroacephobia, but i've never felt so free and comfortable with myself.
if you are interested in the book i think you can find it on amazon, but if you don't want to spend money i have a pdf i can send you!
i hope this helped you somehow, anon <3 if you have more questions please let me know!!!
#loveless my beloved#it's by far my favorite book EVER#you should see it it's full of notes and post-its pffft#aroace#aromantic#asexual
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The way I gasped when I saw six sentence weekend again. I’ve been caught up in a bit of Quarry induced tunnel vision 🤪
But how about some climbing chrash? There may be some content of them coming from me in the near future too ;)
six(ish) sentence weekend ;P
“Aaaaand...voila. The stage has been set.” Just for good measure, he bent down to double-check that he had, in fact, shut the camera off. No harm no foul if he hadn’t - it’d take all of three seconds to give that incriminating little comment the snip-snip in editing - but still, it never hurt to be sure. “These idiots are never going to see this shit coming. I can already see it...the grimaces as their guilt slowly but surely - ”
“Waitwaitwaitwait. Hold up. Just...” From where he sat half-sprawled on the staircase, phone held precariously over his head as he played some pointless game, Cochise did his best to burst Josh’s masterfully-blown bubble. “Before you send that out, I think we gotta have a talk, man. When you said we’re gonna, quote, ‘party like we’re fucking porn stars,’ what the fuck was that supposed to mean?”
Before he could get so much as a peep out, Ashley chimed in from her spot on a nearby armchair, her legs curled up beneath her and a paperback folded in her hands. “Yeah, actually I had the same question. I think you should do another take just to, like, clarify.”
So this was what he got for dating a couple of nerds, huh? Served him fucking right, he guessed.
The camera had been turned off, and thank God for that, because while he couldn’t say with any certainty what kind of look he was rocking at just that moment, Josh knew enough about himself to understand it wasn’t the sort of face he wanted preserved on his harddrive forever and ever amen. In one jerky motion - hopefully enough to drive home the point that he would not be doing another take, thanks very much - he pulled it from off of its tripod and turned to face them. “Clarify,” he repeated, voice flat. “You need me to clarify what I meant by saying - ”
“We’re going to party like we’re fucking porn stars,” Chris finished for him. His phone made a cheery little noise at that. “Yeah. I mean. Maybe? I don’t think Matt or Jess’ll stop when they hear that, but Emily’s kind of a hardass, know what I mean? I feel like she’d text you back trying to pick it all apart like one of those trick questions on the SATs.” Without looking away from his game, he pitched his voice up into an awful, droning valley girl whine, no doubt meant to be an impression of Emily: “Ummm...look, I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I am like, sooo not interested in some juvenile little boy-girl makeout party, sooooooooo...”
“By phrasing it like that, ‘party like we’re fucking porn stars,’ you aren’t really giving anyone enough context to, um, understand the purpose ‘fucking’ is serving in the sentence, y’know?” Ashley, at least, had the decency enough to look up from her book as she told him (not in quite so many words) that he was a moron. “Is it a verb? Or an adjective? Because while both are bad, I still think one’s preferable to the other...like...okay, I guess I don’t know...how one would party as if they were having sex with a porn star, is what I’m getting at. Like, is that a good thing?”
The urge to sit down and hold his head in his hands was quelled only by the fact that he didn’t want to set his camera down where either of these idiots could potentially break it. That was the only thing keeping it from happening. “Guess it depends on the porn star, Ash,” he said instead, letting his eyes roll up and up and up towards the vaulted ceiling of the lodge’s main room. “Gotta imagine some of them enjoy the game more than others.”
“Okay, but also? Then the other option, partying like we, ourselves, are the porn stars. That’s not a great image, I guess. But more than that, like, are you insinuating this is going to be some kind of orgy? Because if you are, I mean, Mike’s gonna RSVP, no question, but the others probably won’t, so...”
“Yeah, and if I’m gonna be attending a weekend-long orgy, I’d really prefer one without Mike. Y’know, if at all possible.”
For the first time since drawing up the idea (though not, he suspected, the last) Josh found himself wondering why oh why he’d thought it a good idea to include these two in his revenge plot. He could’ve, he reflected, just done it his own damn self; no one would’ve been around to take a red pen to each of his sinister machinations. As it was, he’d saddled himself with the dork patrol for better or worse.
“I’m not doing another take,” he said decisively, choosing to ignore both of their scoffs. “We’re going to party like we’re fucking porn stars, and that’s fucking final. Now get off your asses - we’ve got pigs to string up in the basement.”
#nick-furchillo#six sentence weekend#queenie writes supermassive#ohohoho your promises of future climbing chrash intrigue me ;P hehehehe
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Wanted you to know I couldn't stop thinking about your post SO I CAME TO RANT.
The one about Thomas following his father's steps and declaring his love to Alastair publically BY MISTAKE. And then trying to escape the room.
Like seriously I stared at the ceiling at 1 am and was like. ZIA YOU'RE A GENIUS. BRILLIANT human being.
History tends to repeat itself in CC's books in a way and I AM CONVINCED. IT'S. GONNA. HAPPEN.
They're already married in Thomas's eyes. Alastair just doesn't know yet.
It's even better when after he makes that sudden public announcement he comes up with the worse excuse to leave the room like "Oh NO I hear Oscar Wilde fighting a battalion of bees" "Uh, I scheduled a very important fight-to-death quarrel with the vampire next door at this very moment. Gotta go" "Kit left his hat in the lab! He can't be without a hat right?" (*didn't bring a hat as well*)
And none of them have it including Alastair so they talk (MISTLETOE ?? JSJD)
He's the dumbest best boy in love am I right?
And I don't know what happens next but they are in love your honor thank you
HI RANTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED
ILY AND YEAH HISTORY DOES REPEAT ITSELF AND ITD BE SO PERFECT. Thomastair has proved time and time again to parallel sophideon. Most notable of all was in second book one side of the ship decided they could not possibly be together as to not hurt the other while still loving the other fully while the other side decided to fight for their love. Why should we cut parallels there?
THOMAS DEFINETLY WOULD HAVE THE WORST EXCUSE LIKE "OH I HAVE TO FEED MY UMMM, TORTOISE *bolts*"
(Pls the hat ones killing me 😭)
THE MISTLETOE?!!!!! VDBDJDJD O M G
Tbh I have a certain kind of stupid idea to this. I feel while the parallel will be made the resolution will be different. Gideon just outright expressed his feelings but after years of Thomas repressing everything he feels I dont think Thomas would be able to express it all at once
These have been, almost half a decade of brewing feelings in the making and theres no real way to actually say all that on the spot
I feel while Thomas would take a bit longer to gather himself, hed manage it.
So I'm just imagining Thomas showing up at Alastairs door with his journal from years ago. And with trembling hands he actually reads the first tging he ever write about Alastair. Then some more
Until suddenly hes finally speaking and awcknolading hes rubish at this but its been years of loving him that brought him here
VDHDJBF THATS JUST AN IDEA
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RHAPSODIC (THE BARGAINER SERIES 1)
SPOILERS
.
.
.
Wow, that’s one way to start a book. 😳
“That is one dead man” 🤣 then he goes on to say he’s not quite dead and it reminds me of The Princess Bride. 🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️
Awww he doesn’t deal with minors. Good to know he has at least one line he won’t cross. Awww and then he does it for her anyway.
I get the feeling he knows something about her. Besides the fact that she’s part Siren.
322 unpaid favors! 😳😳😳 What the hell did she ask him for?!
“One day I won’t give you a choice.” Oooooo, ominous, foreshadowing. I like it. I also get the feeling that he won’t give her a choice because he already knows what he needs her for.
🤣 traded a bead for sobriety. I mean if she drinks in moderation I bet she’d be fine.
🤣 see, he even admitted it himself.
Okay, if she hadn’t already dumped Eli’s ass this is where I’d be screaming for her to do it. Awww he rescued her.🥰
Interesting. Okay, so she’s asked him for 322 favors, but he can pick and choose how many beads a favor costs and how many beads he cashes in for what he asks her to do. So my question right now is, did he choose to give her a bead for every little thing he did for her on purpose so he had a lot to cash in later on? Because she even mentions that he normally doesn’t let anyone get more than like 3 or 4 and she has an obscene amount more than that. Did he have an alternative motive for allowing her to collect so many beads?
It sounds like they hung out a lot during her first year at the academy, haven’t quite gotten to when things ended, but she wracked up her 322 beads in a year if I’m understanding so far. And now after 7 years he’s back to collect, and I get the feeling the first few were just to warm up and that the big ask, at least one is going to be to help him solve what’s happening in his kingdom.
The past makes me feel like she had a crush on him, obvious she even admits it, but it also seems like he enjoys being around her. I’m wondering why.
“Who do I have to hurt?” Awwww 🥰🥰🥰, he’s gonna bust someone’s balls for hurting her
Awwww he comforted her AND he went after the guy who abused her.
WHAT DID THE PIXIE SAY?!?!?! I NEED TO KNOW!!! Wait…they perched on the crown of her head. Is that hinting that the pixies asked if she was going to be his queen?!
Also does he call her cherub because she was a minor the first time they met? I can’t think of another explanation. At least not yet.
Thief of Souls, sounds ominous, but would explain the catatonic like state of the babies and women. At least I think it would. Only afraid of Des, but only because he’s not unstoppable yet. 🤔🤔🤔
Well that wasn’t at all creepy. So, the children are all connected. The Thief of Souls now wants Callie, and somehow she’s been taken to him? Not sure yet.
Awww he didn’t want her to stop fighting 🥰🥰❤️❤️
Okay so it was just her mind that went to the Thief of Souls. Guy with antlers is a clue for Des? Also he seems very, like VERY protective, maybe possessive of her right now. Which gets me thinking about other books I’ve read where the male acts like that when the girl is his mate. So I’m thinking they’re this worlds version of mates. I’m super glad that he reigned in his anger to make the wise decision to take her home instead of forcing her to stay.
Do Sirens have feathers? The only ones I’ve ever heard about were always in the water and feathers wouldn’t make sense. So what’s with the feathers? Unless there’s something else to her, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something even she doesn’t know since she doesn’t know who her father is.
Also Des mentions she’s been under his protection for a very long time. So even after he left her she was under his protection? He cares SOOOO MUCH!
Okay so somehow they have a deeper connection if he can sense her nightmare. Or maybe it’s because he’s the King of night and that includes dreams/nightmares. 🤔🤔🤔
Ummm, is this hundred-thou client Temper is talking about, possibly the Thief of Souls trying to get to Callie???
OH. MY. GOD. He’s too much. I don’t think I can take any more adorableness from him. He felt like his soul was ripped in two 😭😭😭, and the 7 years were a nightmare. Then the thing he has always wanted to do with her is finish the Harry Potter movies! 🥰🥰🥰 He calls her love. This whole scene just makes my heart giddy. ❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️
Not me imagining later on when Des will make that oath to Callie and make her his queen. 🥰🥰
Well that wasn’t creepy or anything 😅😅😳😳
Awwww he kept sketching her, wait no go back, ignore the knocking, keep looking at the sketches, nooooooo ❤️
Awww he asked her to take him to the ball 🥰🥰
How the hell did Eli find her?
Okay I don’t hate him as much now.
What’s with the nod and the staring at the wings and the I didn’t know the situation? WHAT SITUATION? WHAT DIDN’T HE KNOW?
OH. MY. GOD! How are they betrothed? Like when did that happen?
OH, OH DAMN. Not betrothed, soul mates. Does that count as me being right? And is it soul mates from his side or from both sides? Is that why she’s so comfortable with him even though he’s “scary”?
So, did he know eight years ago when he started hanging out with her that she was his soul mate? Is that WHY he did it? Because he admits that he couldn’t stay away. Why did he look horrified and in wonder after she said the binding thing? Does that have anything to do with the soul mates part?
Well, damn. If she hadn’t made that final wish maybe they would’ve gotten together sooner. Her wish and his magic kept them apart for 7 years as payment for the wish to come true even though they were already soulmates, and he knew it the whole damn time, but he didn’t want to force her. Where have I heard that before?
And just as everything is right in love land the other shoe drops. Is he the Thief of Souls or just the guy trying to get her to work for him? Des is gonna be so pissed when he finds out she’s be napped. That guy’s gonna be in big trouble.
“Fuckity fuck” Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking. The King of Fauna is behind all of this? Really? I guess he is mad.
He is the Thief of Souls. He’s gross. I’m curious to find out why his magic either isn’t working on Callie or working differently on her
Holy shit! She’s got claws, scales, and wings now?!
YAY!! Des found her!!
Well shit. He aint gonna be in the next book.
The other women didn’t wake up. Interesting. Does that mean that the King of Fauna was only a henchman and that the big bad is still out there?
More importantly why did it take Des so long to find her? She literally had a nightmare of the antler guy who I’m assuming Des knew was the King of Fauna so why was that not the first place he went to find her? 🤔🤔🤔
Anyway on to book 2!
#the bargainer series#rhapsodic#book 1#laura thalassa#callypso#callie#the bargainer#desmond#des#road to 100#july reads 2022#45/100#thief of souls
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Grown up Halloween day 31 we're back
Media IRL X hocus Pocus
Character Thomas Brodie Sangster
Couple Thomas X Reader
Rating cute + funny
Grown up Halloween day 31!
I hummed my sweet little tune as I worked on my potion standing above my cauldron this beautiful full moon night. Turning the page of my spell book for page two of the recipe.
"Two coins of copper" I read so I grabbed them from the box adding them to my concoction "two blind eyes" I read so I grabbed my jar and a pair of tongs grabbing out two blind eyes and throwing them in watching them float on the purple slime "three tears of innocent joy" for a moment I pondered to myself checking my viles hummm "Thomas!' I called out the open door where he had been tending the herbs and plants in the garden
"Oh? Yes my devilish little lady?" He asks coming though dusting off his hands a little
"Do you know where that bottle of innocent joy is o can't find it"
"Innocent joy? Oh uhhhhhh is it not with tears of pain and suffering?" He asks coming to look though the pantry too
"No I looked there"
"Uhhhh ohh sorry darling I was using it for the rejuvenation potion this morning here" he says grabbing it from his own desk where he had been battling his ages potions this morning throwing it to me so I took it adding the drops I needed noticing how low we where "we'll need more"
"I'll pop it on the list." He says going to make a note "anything else?"
"I'm completely out of poisoned dragons liver"
"Alright, and I need some more gnome bones" he explained as he wrote "I'll pop to the boss tomorrow and grab some supplies from the market. What are you working on anyway?" He asks coming over to see my potion
"Festering potion" I smiled so he took my spoon and had a sip
"Umm.. more hedgehog spines"
"I hadn't added them yet" I snapped stealing back my spoon and giving his head a playful tap
"AHH that'll be why. Other then that perfect my little witch" he Cooes giving me a kiss "that really hurt you know" he complained rubbing his head where I hit him
"Silly boy. It only hurts because you stopped taking your unaging potion"
"Yes because I'd like to age a little more. I'll take it again in a couple of years I just wanted to get a little older for... Reasons"
"Ummm reasons. That thing above your lip"
"Alright yes."
"Maybe I should stop taking mine too?"
"You'll still look beautiful to me darling" he smiled giving me another kiss "I just wanna look a little older for my beautiful wife. I'll start taking them again soon. Don't want me getting too old then maybe my ageless wife won't like me anymore"
"I'll still love you Thomas. Just don't get yourself looking too old. Don't want to draw attention to ourselves and us wondering around looking like we have an age gap is precisely the Wrong attention"
"I still can't Believe knowone in town has figured out that we literally haven't aged in two hundred years"
"People are stupid my love. That and we don't go much knowone sees us enough to know what we look like"
"True." He nods "what the hell?' he asks as he looked out of the window I hadn't really noticed but in this darkness there was a light coming though the woods
"Probably just some boy got lost' I shrug
"Ummm maybe some fresh human blood could be good" he smirked "I have a luck potion I need to brew tomorrow"
"Alright but don't get spotted"
"I won't. Back soon" he smiled I have him a kiss and he gave me one too before he scampered out to butcher the boy for Ingredients but I noticed the light getting closer and closer and closer until there was a knock on my door. I didn't want to answer but I knew I should I opened the door and saw the local towns folk and they had caught Thomas already, I tried to run but I too was captured by them they tied us both to the apple tree outside our house as they emptied out little cottage breaking out potions and ingredients even smashing the cauldron spilling the purple potion onto the grass
"Witches! Burn the witches!" Many shouted as they burnt our books and tools all but one. Of course our spell book would not burn no matter how hot they made the fire
"Do you admit to the crimes before you?" The mayor asked
"Depends. Haven't the foggiest idea what they are?" Thomas shrugged
"Do you admit to the crime of being witches!"
"Do you want us to be technical? Or do you want a overall answer?"
"Answer the question!" They demanded
"Technically I am a witch. He's a warlock."
"All thought I do often do witchcraft too" Thomas added
"There witches!" They all yelled
"Guess your a witch now" I giggled
"Every time! I did not go through sixteen years of warlock training for this nonsense!"
"Do you admit to being a bride of Satan!" He yelled in my face
"No. I'm the bride of Thomas"
"Yeah you are" Thomas smirked
"Not now!" I argued
"Do you admit to being the devil's slaves!"
"Slaves! We get paid. I'm up for a promotion. She has a degree" Thomas argued
"Then it is true. Burn the witches!"
"Burn the witches!"
"I think there serious" I sighed
"Yeah I think so. What do we do?"
"Returning spell?" I suggest
"Perfect my darling" he smiled as we moved slightly to be able to hold hands and also hold the tree
"A crime indeed hath been done to me.
So then in turn a curse on thee.
What hath been done to us will come to you in three.
And apon the third shall return me and he.
So be it" I smirked reciting the spell I knew well resting my other hand on the apple tree watching its white blossoms then a glowing blood red and our curse was set, in fear they quickly threw flaming items to the trees roots burning up our bodies but no matter how hard they tried like the book the tree would not burn.
The town's folk swore an oath to never speak of what they had done to us and never speak of the bloody tree they burried the book at the foot of the tree.
It took time for the red blossoms to bare there fruit and each time someone took a fruit hellish fire destroyed the nearby town leaving many many dead more each time as the town grew in the time between but we waited and waited until one dark October night the third apple was removed from the tree.
I felt the waves of life go though me again using my new energy to close my way out of the dirt below the roots before atlast finding air and the beautiful moonlight it wasn't long before Thomas resurfaced too as alive and overjoyed to see me as I was to see him giving me a million little kisses
"Umm I missed you. I missed you so much."
"I missed you too." I smiled "I didn't think it would take this long"
"I know. The damn hell took them so long"
"Fear I suppose" I sighed climbing out and getting my book "who did it?"
"No idea they likely scampered" he shurgs getting out too "uhh I swear there is dirt between my ears" he complained
"What's new" I giggled
"Hey!" He complained as we headed Inside our long abandoned house
"How long have we been gone?" I asked as he was checking the clock
"Uhhh four hundred years and two weeks"
"Hu. Interesting" I shrug heading to the window seeing this strange place the town had become with white artificial light, horseless carriages, and strange magic brick looking things "odd what the world has become"
"Yeah, well we'll show them won't we Darling"
"Indeed we will" I smirked cuddling him closely
"We're back"
#thomas#thomas brodie sangster#thomas sangster#thomas sangster imagine#thomassangster#thomasbrodiesangster#thomas brodie sangster smut#thomas brodie sangster i#thomas brodie sangster imagine#thomas broide sangster imagine#thomas sangster smut#thomas sangser imagine#thomas sangster x reader#Thomas Imagine#Halloween#all hallows eve#halloween2022#witches#hocus pocus
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