Just remembered how one of my dedicated to people last roadtrip literally was like “oh actually I don’t think you can stay here tonight I have work early tomorrow :(“ after driving like seven and a half hours to him (and he texted me this when I was an hour away from his house and we had literally talked about my plans to stay there all day) like hello red flag red flag red flag

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol

also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies

Going to sleep is so fkn hard I just want to call him and tell him I love him and ask for cuddles when will that stop

there is no way the ikevamp guys are being such assholes in jean's route i must be dreaming

speaking of haikyuu characters following others to schools. i am like 99% sure the whole reason sakusa ended up at itachiyama was because komori made the decision to go there first

ROLLING MY EYES SO HARD

so many project ideas not enough ability..........

...

This week’s extras...

Finding out that literally 40 tons of BTS CDs and merch IN ONE WEEK was shipped out from Korea headed to America.

40 tons... 80,000 pounds... 40,000 kg... OF PROOF CDs, YOONGI’S NECKLACES, JUNGKOOK’S PHOTO FOLIOS and whatever else y’all ordered!!!!!

That’s a lot of Vamp Koo coming our way.

Also coming soon: Typhoon Hinnamnor will strike South Korea possibly at a strength comparable to a Category 2 hurricane on our Saffir-Simpson scale here in the U.S. The country is already feeling some effects from the storm.

Living where I do in the U.S., I am very familiar with the destructive forces of hurricanes. Jeju Island, and more directly, Busan, are in the line of fire according to this predicted-path map. Hinnamnor will be passing Jeju and Busan on Monday/Tuesday, Sept. 6. The amount of destruction that is possible will make it an extra challenge to prepare for the October BTS Busan Expo concert just six weeks away. 

It is very possible the Busan concert will get postponed.

We’ll see. Damage will not be limited to just high winds but will also include catastrophic flooding from heavy rain as well as storm surge. Storm surge occurs when water in the ocean is displaced by the extreme atmospheric pressure associated with a storm of this magnitude. Businesses, hotels and restaurants will have a short time to recover in order to be able to handle the crowds expected for the BTS concert. I have my doubts they can do it because I’ve experienced storms of this magnitude. 

If this storm remains as strong as they are predicting, I don’t know if they’ll be able to come back quick enough to do the concert. If they are able to carry on with the Busan concert, it may turn into a typhoon relief event as well. But I’ve lived through these kinds of storms, it takes a while to come back from them.

Recovery is not just a matter of cleaning up the streets. There will be interruptions to their power grid and in the supply chain for essentials like drinking water, fuel and building materials.

Deeply hoping Jimin’s and Jungkook’s families remain safe and unharmed during this weather event. Hopefully they have evacuated to Seoul which will see much less effects from the storm because of distance.

Also in this week’s news... I had to say good-bye to an online BTS friend who had to go focus on more important family matters. My deepest heartfelt best wishes to her and her family. I will miss chatting with her a lot. Hopefully, one day everything will be back to normal and she will be in a place where she can return.

being the crazy ex girlfriend you never dated is so hard😪😪

i'm always so proud of people who are fighting so hard to try and be better. it's not always an easy thing. it's not always just realizing you made a mistake and you can apologize and learn to do better in the future. sometimes it's learning your whole worldview was painted for you, that you were raised to hurt yourself and others. breaking away from that is hard when it's the "reality" you've been living for possibly decades. you were actively shielded or punished from learning otherwise. here's to everyone who managed to escape and to everyone trying to escape a hateful reality.

i have to get a new phone case and screenprotector Guys its literally scaryyyy

I dodnt wanna play Toontown I wanna BE IN Toontown that would fix me I thignk

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.