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antimatterz · 11 months

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breathless

dan heng x gn!reader

what we all secretly wished for when dan heng was about to give us cpr. he's kinda ooc here but enyo is in her delulu phase tonight lol.

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and in a flash of light, the darkness was gone. your eyes flew open and a strangled sound left your locked-up lips. wait a second... what exactly was going on? you found a face dangerously close to yours, only seeing a pair of eyelashes and the raven strands of hair that tickled your forehead. but what shocked you the most was the fact that a set of soft lips was pressed against yours, and the dots connected. you lifted your hands and firmly pushed away the body that hovered over you.

the stranger shot back with a surprised yelp, grey eyes wide with shock as the male gazed at you. he was handsome, strikingly so. so much that your heart skipped a beat. but the shaken guy quickly regained his composure, exchanging his surprise with a level of calmness.

"oh, you're awake," he commented.

"yep," you nodded, eyeing him suspiciously. "say, do you always randomly kiss people you find knocked out somewhere?"

"i figured you needed cpr," the raven-haired male explained dryly. "you weren't breathing when i found you."

you reached out, the pads of your fingertips grazing your lips. even though it was for the sake of keeping you alive, this handsome guy just kissed you. you were vaguely aware that you didn't know where in the world you were, or even knew as much as your name. your mind was blank, yet the only thing that concerned you was the so-called kiss.

"in that case, thank you," you solemnly said. "i guess i owe you."

"no you don't," the guy shook his head. "it's only natural that i did it."

a small idea formed in your mind, and you smiled slightly. okay, maybe it was important to figure out who and where you were, but with a handsome guy still halfway hovering over you, you couldn't help it. you blamed it on the fact that everyone else was erased from your mind, only the extremely soft and kisseable lips of this guy lingering among your thoughts.

"so if i stopped breathing, would you do it again?" you asked innocently.

"you're not even going to ask where you are and who i am?" the male asked in disbelief. "you just... ask me to do... that again?"

"okay... who are you and where am i?" you questioned, only because he seemed like he wouldn't give in before you did so.

"my name is dan heng," the male replied. "and you're aboard herta's space station. but again, are you asking me to..."

"yes, dan heng, that's what i'm asking," you nodded.

to emphasize your words, you jokingly stopped breathing and gave the handsome guy a challenging look. would he fall for it? would he indulge in this moment you kinda shared? you had no idea, and the male was quite hard to read. but then he heaved out a small sigh, closing his eyes and getting rid of the distance between you once more. his lips touched yours, and you couldn't help but smile.

it was tentative and calculated, but it was much more a kiss and less cpr. the first one was brief, a chaste meeting of your lips. but the one that followed lingered, your still lips tasting each other before you decided to be brave and move against him. he went along with it, catching you by surprise once more. though it was still careful, the kiss you shared deepened, and butterflies erupted in your stomach. it didn't go any further than that, but that was okay. and aeons, dan heng was a good kisser. you had no idea what happened before the dark void of amnesia trapped you, but your first memory after waking up would be his lips on yours.

way too soon for your liking, he pulled back, raking a hand through his hair. you looked at him with wide eyes as you attempted to catch your breath, but it was obvious that this male's kissing skills had left you breathless. dan heng was obviously affected just as much, though he tried to maintain his stoic composure. still, he reached out his arm and offered you his hand in order to help you up.

you gladly took his offer and he pulled you to your feet. he caught your gaze and held it for a moment that felt like eternity. a lot was going on behind his eyes, and little did you know that all his current thoughts revolved around you. he cleared his throat, not letting go of your hand even as he spoke up again.

"it's time to bring you to asta."

and with that, you two left the small room you were in, carrying with you a secret only the two of you would ever know about.

#dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr dan heng #dan heng hsr #honkai #honkai star rail #honkai star rail dan heng #hsr #dan heng x y/n #dan heng x you #dan heng honkai star rail #honkai dan heng #hsr x reader #honkai x reader #honkai: star rail #— enyo writes

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good-oldfashioned-lover-girl · 4 months

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help i'm not sure what to do...

rant below (it's really really long, i just really needed to rant at something that wasn't my mind, i'm not actually expecting anyone to read it don't worry)

i don't really like the idea of posting about my life, mostly because i don't feel active enough for anything to actually come of it and i'm not even sure i want anything to come of it but you know what imma take this as free therapy as it's not like i would want to talk to the irl people in my life.

i have a really close friend who also has tumblr but always seems as though they didn't want me to know about theirs so i always tried not to even accidentally find it. i told them my old username before they had tumblr but then i changed it when they got it, mostly using it as an excuse because i never really liked my old one.

we both said we would never look for each others accounts, but today it was made quite clear that they at least knew my username, something i couldn't care less about but was a little annoyed they wouldn't stop lying to me.

they then suddenly lashed out at me, and sent me a picture of their account which i never wanted to see. i barely looked at it and merely complimented the colours and pfp, but still they were incredibly passive aggressive.

the problem is i know they're going through a really hard time right now and i really don't want to make it any harder by lashing out back or being equally as passive aggressive as i know i'm often inclined to be, and this is especially now when things are going so well between us as friends.

i'm never one for being incredibly close friends with one person as it is an idea that terrifies me, meaning for example i swing between calling absolutely no one my best friend to everyone i simply talk to and is relatively nice to me is my best friend. i know this probably seems like nothing but honestly since even the early years of primary school the idea of calling just one or maybe two people my best friend is just absolutely not.

for a while me and this friend got incredibly close and they started calling me their best friend, which i tried really hard to do back but the stigma i've built around it in my head made it really hard and made me feel really uncomfortable.

i'm awful at explaining things but i did my best to explain as such to my friend without hurting them because it doesn't mean i don't still want to be really really close, it's just one line i wasn't willing to cross and they seemed to respect that, giving me the tiny bit more space i personally needed.

i know at many points i will have made many many mistakes, but they have become the one person i trust almost completely to the point of not even worrying about the little slip ups i make around them and i don't do things such as worrying if i talked too much etc. because i trust that they understand me enough so that i don't worry.

but now they seem really angry, and i don't even know why, and so for the first time in ages i'm genuinely worried that i've messed something up just a little to much, not that that would be the first time someone's randomly decided to despise my guts when i don't know why so the possibility is entirely possible.

and i don't know what to do to try and patch it up, and even more importantly if there's anyway to still try and help them through the shit time they're having despite clearly not helping.

on top of that i don't know how to help them in the first place because my immediate reaction to anything is just complete sarcasm or 'lmao mood' i'm sure neither of which help.

so i shall leave all 0 of you who put themselves through reading that alone and thank you.

#rant post #please ignore

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oathofpromises · 10 months

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3, 4, 5

3. do you have a pet peeve when it comes to shipping?

I do have a few pet peeves when it comes to shipping. The first, is some people assuming just because I ship a character with someone else muse that it automatically means I will ship that regardless. This goes for just because someone ships their muse with another person who writes same character as me, that doesn’t mean I will ship with them too. While it maybe true that I adore certain ships no matter what. I don’t like having someone force their muse onto mine. I have had this happen before and it really does just drain my motivation to want to write with that person and in general sometimes too.

Another pet peeve of mine is not bothering to read someone rules when it comes to shipping. This is a huge red flag to me because how is someone going expect another to understand their boundaries if they don’t take time know theirs. For example there are ships that make me highly uncomfortable for valid reasons, so when someone still tries to send me asks trying ship that..it just makes me really not want to be here for a bit. I usually end up soft blocking or blocking to curate my space but still it isn't much to read someone else rules for shipping. Both writing partners deserve to feel comfortable.

The last one I can think of is people being hateful towards a ship. For example, my Riku I write as being gay. It's just how I perceive him, there was a time I was writing Soriku on twitter and people would like vague tweet about a thread me and my writing partner were working on. Someone even called him a dog once, which please don't. I get some characters might talk this way but the character who said this to my Riku was another Sora so;;; yeah just be respectful with how someone portrays their character sexuality. As someone that's bisexual and gotten hate in the past, it just is very discouraging when people in character will be hateful towards a character because of their orientational. Just people need be mindful of how they are coming across even in character.

4. do you prefer to plot a ship, or would you rather “wing it”?

I am a slow burn ship writer, unless the person is a close friend and I trust them with my muse. I still ask that they talk to me about it before just randomly sending stuff. Plotting is much more fun to me though, it allows so much development over time. I adore going back through discussions or threads with shipping partner’s and just seeing how the characters fell in love with each. That growth and hardships they maybe faced to get to that point.

Now this isn’t to say that I am against winging it sometimes there are threads you just want to do something really soft but again this is mostly with friends or mutuals that have talked about shipping certain characters with me. I do ask that if someone would like to ship to ask first and we can definitely talk about it. I’m not going out right say no but again it depends on the ship. There are ones I will never do for boundary and comfortably reasons. Communication is important regardless.

5. do you prefer fast plots, pre-established relationships or slow burns?

Slow burns, I want to see the chemistry between two characters form. Did they start out as childhood friends and develop from there or was it one of those they met later in life and it grew over time. I just think it’s important to a ships development to see their emotions. Why did they end up falling for that person, how does the other make them feel.

Again though, that isn’t to say pre-established one’s are bad because they aren’t. There are some characters I write that are canonical in love with another character but they still have some development that lead up to that. I also am not opposed to writing pre-established ones since that does give a lot to work with, but with these type of dynamics I usually am only comfortable with friends.

#— ❛❛ // HEART OF A PRINCESS ¦ Answered Memes・#Thank you for sending these in!

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the-artist-from-hell · 2 years

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So… about my post from earlier- yes I already wrote a fan fic for Jake and frenchie because I absolutely love these two- (possible trigger warning: drinking?) this is just… hurt comfort angst mostly but with a lovely soft ending.

Fic name: drunken confession.

It was a cool February afternoon, Jake was at front, fully alone at this point. While Marc and Steven where oddly dormant. Jake had nothing to do. Not a single request from khonsu it wasn’t like he was close enough with Layla to hangout with her but even if he was she was out on a mission herself a solo one. And strangely enough the feeling of being alone was bugging him it was strange for him to have both Marc and Steven be completely dormant even just for a day or two. He was considering bugging frenchie. He lingered over frenchies contact anxious to text him. Though Jake had his own “spot” in this “shared life” with Marc and Steven it was still… strained he didn’t know how or where to leave off with friendships and if what he deemed friendships where actually friendships.

The only one he was sure of as his friend was frenchie. It was a odd sort of strained friendship for sure on and off communication for years. Yet every time they did talk it was like nothing had changed. Like they didn’t just randomly stop talking for a while. It was like naturally setting clock work with these two they some how felt so readily comfortable chatting. It was some thing jake didn’t feel often with others and at times in his solitude in the back of the mind space he would linger his thoughts about frenchie he wondered if he thought to much about his “friend. But I digress. As Jake thought out these things it was like some sort of force read his mind and sent him a sign since he was to frozen to text frenchie himself

A message from frenchie.

“Hey- are you free today?”

“depends on who you need.” Replied jake

“Well I’m hoping for Jake but I’m guessing this is Marc right now?”

“Jake speaking currently. No idea where the other two have faded off to.”

“That’s oddly perfect” Jake saw that and raised an eye brows.

“What’s that mean by that?” He answered back

“It means Do you want to grab a drink with me? We haven’t hung out in a while I mean we have but just not the two of us alone is all.”

Jake found himself baffled. Yet smiling like an idiot as he saw the text.

“Sure, what bar?”

Frenchie sent the address and said he would be waiting- Jake got into some casual clothes. Slicking back his hair a bit with his fingers and a tiny bit of hair gel before putting on his hat.

When he got to the bar he entered and looked around for frenchie, he was at small booth seat section alone instead of at a bar stool near the counter like they usually sat at jake noticed this little change and thought it was odd, frenchie saw him as well and locked eyes with him and waved him over “over here mon ami!” He said with a smile jake went over to the table and frenchie stood up to give him a little side hug before sitting back down

“Long time no see my favorite friend-“

“Wow you pick favorites?” Jake chuckled “any ways wow I’m surprised you picked a booth this time, what’s with that?” He asked casually with a smile

“Just wanted a change of pace I guess.” Replied frenchie

“Every things been changing recently huh?” Mumbled jake

“It has- but change can be a good thing, no? At least it seems to be good in your case right?”

A waiter then came up and took there drink orders they ordered some basic rounds of beers before they went back to talking

“I mean it is pretty good mostly since I get to talk to you again.”

“Aw you flatter me mon ami,” frenchie smirked “so catch me up on your perspective. What’s new for you?”

“What’s new? Well damn a lot- don’t tell Marc and Steven I told you this but there both dating each other now- some how? There constantly pinning over each other- it’s kinda gross to be honest-“

“Hah! I had a clue that was the case.”

“Observant as always, Jean.”

“But why do you call it gross?”

“Because I have to deal with seeing them be all lovey dovey with each other- it makes it so awkward since we all share a body- let’s say they let me front- meanwhile there in the back of the head making out or being sickeningly sweet together.”

“How about Layla? You talk to her much? I know the other two are in a shared relationship, no?”

“Si they are, but I don’t see Layla that way. Don’t think I ever will to be honest. It always feels like I’m an unwanted guest with those three. Though good for them for what they have- hey enough questions about me- how’s your quest to find a boyfriend been going?”

“Uhg I gave up months ago- turns out being an amputy is a turn off to most. And the ones who aren’t turned off end up being creeps.”

“Well there missing out on you as a person- and more importantly missing out on the chances at getting free plane rides for life.” *the thing about free air plane rides was a joke but the first bit was sincere*

They received there drinks and thanked the waiter,

Jake started to drink his as frenchie continued the conversation “I guess your right. It just I’ll be honest the loneliness is some thing unbearable.”

“You’d be surprised but I get it.”

Frenchie raised an eye brow as he raised his glass about to take a sip “but your never alone at least most of the time.”

“There’s loneliness in reality having no one to stand by you then there’s loneliness in feeling outcasted.”

“Ah… wise words so very unlike you.” He seemed to tease and jake rolled his eyes playfully

“Yea well with no one to talk to for a few years it leaves me to think a lot.”

*frenchie took a long swig of his drink* “Uhg enough talk about loneliness and solitude- we have each other’s company! That’s what matters right now to me.”

“Now that I can get with. You see you have Even wiser words then what I said before.”

“I guess drunk words are the wisest-“

“Drunk? but this is your first drink- you really becoming a lightweight on me?”

“Light weight? In your dreams! I pre-gamed before You got here-“

“Wow what a shock.”

“Nothing to crazy just a martini or two- they had this really interesting pomegranate one I’ve been dying to try.”

“Really? That sounds interesting.”

“Yea but I didn’t want to be an embarrassment to you is all- you know me drinking a “prissy” drink in front of you-“

“Prissy drink? Really? That’s some thing only Marc would get embarrassed about-you know that, actually hold on watch-“ *he waved over a weighter after he finished off his first pint of beer once the waiter was called over he ordered one of those drinks frenchie mentioned and frenchie for himself another pint.

“Wow what a gentleman proving a point by getting a “girly drink” if only I could find a man like you-“ frenchie joked- (but in all honesty he was being serious ooP)

Jakes cheeks where nipped red and it could have been a mix of the alcohol or the way frenchie teased him.

“Trust me you wouldn’t want a guy like me”

“Why wouldn’t I? You have an amazing jawline- you can drive- hmmm what else- your a good listener and we have great chemistry-“

“Says the guy who’s 10 times cooler then me you fly planes and shit.”

“Cooler? I take that as an insult you know! If any thing I’m HOTTER then you-“

“Wow tooting your own horn there huh?” They were joking back and forth, Loki flirting as they moved on to other little topics.

“You know what- I gotta ask Jake-“

“Hm? Waht is it?” *he muttered as he finished off his third drink*

“Steven and Marc those two- there… what’s the word- not gay- gay and straight- what’s the English words again…” (when frenchie was tipsy he would often let certain English words slip his vocabulary)

“Bisexual?”

“Yea yea that right? I never thought Marc would be you know-“ 💅🏻 he did the hand motion)

“Yea same never thought that- I mean I thought Steven was just gay like- actually gay for a while until he showed interest in Layla-“

“Hey hey off topic listen… hhhh… uh… what was I saying again.?”

The two laughed a bit like idiots

“How… how about yourself jake?”

“What what about me?”

“Are you… straight gay thing too? like Marc and the British one?” *he rested his head on the palm of his hand

Jake went silent and his face was redder then before he lowered his gaze, not sure how to answer.

He sort of froze for a second and frenchie noticed the tension for a moment- then Jake chuckled

“not sure… I've never been able to explore the possibilities, you know?”

“Well is there any one you ever thought was hot?”

“…. One person.” Jake said stoically but on the inside he was over thinking “shit am I bisexual? Or just gay? Or… can Jean Paul see more about me then I do about my self“

“Oh? Who’s that person?? I just gotta know-“

“I won’t be sharing that.”

“Oh come on~ at least give me a hint!~ is it some one you know?”

“Si”

“Is it a guy or girl?”

“… guy-“

“OOH- ok ok hmmm… we’ll To be honest jake you don’t know a lot of people…and I doubt it’s the others residing in your head…sooo… is it meee~”

Jakes eyes went wide and he tipped his hat down over his face a bit- “In your dreams-“ *he chuckled trying to seem calm but he was clenching his teeth a bit.

“You know I can see through you Jake~ if you wanna make out just say so~” this was a joke of course- frenchie was just teasing a bit.

“For fucks sake can you not?” *jake snapped a bit and taking off his hat and clenching it before knawing on the brim a bit angstily

“Aww no need to be shy, if you wanna hook up say the word I wouldn’t mind, especially with a hunk such as yourself-“ frenchie misunderstood jakes reaction as simply a flustered one

“Jean- I mean it- stop it.” *jake said between knaws on his hat his eyes filled with tears he was overhwkened and frenchie though Loki shit face drunk had a sort of “oh shit I fucked up” moment

“Jake- I-…shit I didn’t mean to make you upset I was just joking! I was just- just teasing you know? I know bad timing I shouldn’t have-“ he tried to seem calm and smiled awkwardly trying I make the situation better

“Out of all the people… Can you not fucking make fun of me? I thought I could confide in you- fuck…”

“Jake- you can confide in me I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to make you upset really.”

“I just don’t get any of it- I’m trying so fucking hard trying I get it I’m a dumbass for even- for… having these thoughts… it wouldn’t even work- god what am I… people are staring I can tell people are staring and it’s all your fucking fault-“ he said through clenched teeth and jaw

Frenchie went silent as Jake layed his head on the table trying to ground himself frenchie stopped drinking and focused on what he wanted to say through his drunken haze jake was over thinking every thing and he was mumbling a lot- “I’m obvious I’m so fucking obvious- he thinks it’s funny- I’m a fool- why did I even humor the conversation- I couldn’t do this even though I want to- I can’t- fuck how would the others react? They wouldn’t even let me date Jean Paul even if I wanted to… would they…? even if he wanted to date me back- is he still here- did he leave? I need to lift my head up eventually… my head is pounding- why can’t one of them be here to take things up- why can't I go back- why can’t I shut myself off right now- where’s the help when I need it. Where’s the person who cares about me-?” He couldn’t even tell his internal thoughts from his own outward rambling frenchie moved his hand over to jakes head and gently fixed strands of jake's hair back in place

“Jake…” frenchie said softly and when he did Jake seemed to freeze up and tense like stone for a moment before softening enough to lift his head a bit just so he could look up to frenchie. tears where streaming down jakes face and frenchie finally spoke

“I… you mean so much to me- I didn’t mean to hurt you like this-“

“I deserve to be hurt…”

“No jake you don’t.”

“I do… that’s my whole purpose I take the punches. I don’t get… how You see me as more then that-“

“Because you are more then that.”

“No im not-“ Jake said once again with a frustrated snarl*

“To me you are more then you say you are. I…. I was heartbroken when you were gone- I thought… I thought I made that clear- I really didn’t mean to tease you… I was mostly poking fun at my self jake.”

“How would you be poking fun at yourself it’s not like you want to kiss me-“

“… Jake- wow your just… *he roled his eyes* “I love you- I don’t just want to kiss you I want to be there for you, and I always will be there for you one way or another no matter how long it takes for you to fully open up- I’ll be here for you. Even when you where gone all that time- I wanted to be there for you…” *he took his hand off of jakes head and rested then on the table* “I guess drunk thoughts aren’t always the wisest huh?”

“But they tend to be true ones…right?”

“True-“ frenchie smiled softly

“You… actually love me…? Romantically…? Or just…”

“Yes romantically Jake-“ he said abruptly

“…but…what will the others…”

“Fuck what the others think! Listen if Marc and the British one-“

*jake interrupted frenchie for a moment to correct him and tell him stevens name*

“YEA OK SO IF MARC AND STEVEN AND LAYLA CAN MAKE THERE THREE WAY GAY-straiGht relationship woRk- we can make this work to!”

“But how… how can it work? I’m usually tucked away… do you really want to have some one as inconsistent as me as a lover?”

“Love finds a way, it always does, my love for you won’t ever fade jake, it never did. All I really tried in the past was to move on from my thoughts of you and it never worked- i would happily wait years for you- I’ll be here every step of the way- we can discuss with the others a proper schedule… we can- we can make it work- I promise-“

“What if I’m not good enough-“

“You say it as if I’m good enough.”

“Jean your more then enough your so much more-“

“And that’s how I see you to-“ he reached his hands to jakes and held them gently before giving them a little squeeze*

“I still can’t believe any of this… is actually happening…” Jake said with his face a pink glow. He was happy- he was worried this was some sort of dream or something- he was anxious he would wake up and this would be all over or even worse? The next day they would pretend it never happened because they where drunk.

“I… really can’t believe it…” he pulled his hands away slowly* “how do I know we won’t just sweep this all under the rug by tomorrow…?”

“You think I would sweep this sweet confession under the rug? What do you take me for? Heartless?”

“No not at all- I just… I don’t know-“

“Here- I’ll prove it to you-“ *he took his unfinished glass of beer and chugged the final gulp for courage before standing up*

“What are you doing??”

Frenchie then stood up on the seat- “MAY I HAVE EVERY ONES ATTENTION?”

“Oh my fucking goD- Get doWn-“

“I’ll shoUt it louDer if I haVe tO-“

“your gonna get us kiCked oUt-!”

“WELL THEN SO BE IT! HEY EVERYONE YOU SEE THIS WONDERFUL MAN RIGHT HERE? WITH THE MOST HANDSOME EYES YOUVE EVER SEEN? I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIS SMILE I LOVE HIS HAIR I LOVE HIM! I LOVE EVERY THING ABOUT HIM EVEN HIS QUIRKS!”

*some people stared and some one in the back mumbled “queers-“ while the bartender roled there eyes like this was a normal every few days occurance that had gotten annoying

Jake got up and pulled frenchies arm so he would sit back down. “Your so… fucking stupid…” he said with a smile as he started to chuckle- this was a smile that frenchie hadn’t seen in a long time, with softly lidded eyes and such care free relaxedness. And frenchie melted seeing jakes face relaxed and happy like this. As Jake was laughing happily about all of this the owner of the bar came over and interrupted the two “hey you guys gotta get going your making to much of a scene-“

“Fine so be it!” Said frenchie as he payed for the drinks- also leaving a nice tip for the waiter who had been taking there orders

And so they left the bar side by side- frenchie hesitating at first before grabbing hold of jakes hand as they stepped outside

“…so… what now…?” Jake asked softly as he noticed frenchies hand wrapped around his.

“Up to you really… we don’t need to rush any thing if your not ready, just know I’m here.”

Jake gave a nod and let go of frenchies hand for a moment there was jsut content silence between the two before jake turned to frenchie and giving him an unexpected bear hug

“Te amo…” jake muttered softly as he hugged on

“"je t'aime aussi"

#moon knight fandom #moon knight fanfic #moon knight ship #moon knight series #jake lockley #Jake lockely x frenchie #frenchie #jean paul duchamp #frenchie duchamp #possibly triggering #tw alchohol mention #hurt/comfort

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cryptramesses · 1 year

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I took the KO beginners class a while ago, and I do wish there were more at least somewhat organized groups among kemetic pagans, but I REALLY couldn't get past the intense hierarchy and the whole Nisut situation. I mean she's probably fine as a person but believing someone specific is in possession of "the kingly Ka" and not being able to question that because it's a core tenet of your religion is way across the line for me in terms of red flags.

sorry for bringing this at you randomly but it seems a lot of the time like either people aren't involved enough to have heard of it, or are part of it. and I don't want to shit on them! I honestly haven't got the impression that it's a cult but it's definitely starting from a dodgy position in terms of going that way

Thank you so much for the message, I don't mind you coming out of nowhere with this topic, I'm more than happy to address it. My response is a bit longer so it'll be under a read more!

What I will say is that where there is a void of something, there will always be people who will come in to occupy the space. While there may not be a lot of organizations that occupy the Kemetic Religious Niche, I'm sure more will come along to do so, we just have to be patient, and hope someone feels called to do that without claiming to have the "Kingly Ka". I know a few people personally who want to establish temples and whatnot, not out of a desire to create a religion, but rather they like the idea of giving people a place to worship and host festivals when they had no ability to during their entire lives up to that point. It is a completely selfless act of theirs with no desire to lead a group of people or control them. These individuals just wish to provide resources and a safe place for folks of similar walks to worship and build a sense of community. Definitely not making a whole new religious group or system. But stuff happens in weird ways, so I'm sure someone will do something and it'll become something greater, or perhaps Kemetic Paganism has always been something that is more individualized, sure we have key rules we all kinda agree on, but otherwise we all practice independently of each other outside of small groups. At the same time though, if this is the case, that doesn't mean community cannot be had. We just need the spaces to have that community that aren't all digital. But who knows, this might all be ramblings of things to come. Overall I think there's a pull for it, so it'll happen eventually, and there's definitely discontentment with KO, so it'll probably happen sooner rather than later.

As for the Nisut, I agree with you. It's a very big red flag. I don't think anyone has the ability to claim themselves to be divine. It creates a power dynamic that overall shifts power into the hands of one person more-so than the collective. This can become a major issue considering the fact that it allows for bad faith actors to flourish and commit abuses. We know that there are far more sketchy things about the Nisut that have been said and done, stuff that is very much discriminatory towards certain groups, opinions and alleged actions that are just not befitting of a religious leader with that much power (stuff I plan to address when I eventually make a video essay on the topic). Overall it isn't a safe environment for everyone from what people have said about it and on all the reports I've read on the topic. (I will, again, address this later down the line when I have the time and braincell to write it all up, cause it's hefty af and if I start now this will become far longer than it needs to be)

As for seeing it as a cult, I respect your opinion wholeheartedly. If you don't view it as a cult, I totally get it. Although your observance of direction is very much correct, KO is very likely to go that way from an outsiders perspective. The 'startings of a cult' are all there, and visible to see from the outside. It's possible that it will not go that way if it hasn't yet, but there is just not enough proven evidence from KO themselves to make a solid call. What I will say though, is that when you see some testimonies and some of the information that has slipped out from the inside, it becomes very clear that things are definitely not looking good from a more inside perspective. (I've spent waaaaaaaaaaay too much time researching this, it's kinda crazy -- but what else am I gonna do when my chronic pain flares up?) From what I've seen it's like two strings shy of a Sistrum when it comes to whether its a cult. I believe it is a cult simply from what I've seen and what I can infer from people who have left the group, but when it comes to anything that isn't testimonial, it becomes a lot harder to tell for sure. But that's kind of how cults are. It's all speculation until something really really bad happens. We don't know until we are looking retrospectively into the situation, so what I am encouraging everyone to do is regardless if it's a cult or not, everyone should be cautious and smart with the whole mess.

Overall the stuff happening within the group are all alleged, don't get me wrong, but if the allegations are true it does not look good. Again one day when I have time, energy, and am not struggling with my hEDS/PoTS as badly, I'll probably get something up that kinda covers everything (as finding all the resources, interviewing people who have left without potentially putting them in danger or risking their mental health rehashing it(Trauma is a bitch lemme tell you), and then getting it all together into one place that's easy for readers/viewers to understand, is very difficult), and will probably make a follow up video essay about the topic, because this is one I feel very passionately about and I believe that all the facts need to be present. I firmly believe that everyone who looks into the topic are responsible for their own opinions and should have the resources to formulate those thoughts. I'll make my thoughts clear, but I respect all people's opinions when it comes to the KO. Despite the fact that it's up in the air, I think everyone has the right to voice their place on it regardless, and that we can both praise KO for what good they have done, as well as criticize them for the bad that may have occurred.

I feel like KO is a lovely resource for Kemetic materials, don't get me wrong. But if things are going as sourly at the top as some alleged, it seems it's doing just as much harm. Don't take what I'm taking as solid fact, even I haven't confirmed everything that I've found, but I always try to believe victims more than folks who seem to decline to comment at every turn as soon as controversy arises. While I do take victims claims with a grain of salt, understanding that there may be ulterior motives or it could not be indicative of the whole situation (there are always two sides to a story), I also don't discredit them as every tale has some truth to it, and that truth should not be omitted, regardless of how distorted.

Obviously do not harass or doxx or really do anything to anyone who is part of KO and don't go running around saying they are, without a shadow of a doubt, a cult. In the end I try to make it very clear (may have missed the mark in my original post? cannot remember - I definitely made that post absolutely fuming cause a lot of information just got dropped right on my head so while I do not have different opinion, I may not have made the knowledge that it's opinion super well known) that in my opinion I do view them as a cult on par with many others. But that's an opinion formulated from my knowledge on cults and how they are formed. Overall, I agree, do not shit on the religion itself, if it's a cult or not is not something the people inside can help, and moreover they do not deserve to be hated, isolated, pushed away, or demonized. These are people. Just because they are people though does not mean we shouldn't draw attention to anything that is a problem and could be dangerous to people involved. Preserving everyone's mental, physical, and spiritual autonomy is far more important than punishing those who lost it, whether intentionally or accidentally.

We can be critical and not hateful at the same time. I think the Nisut is probably a good person with good intentions at heart, but I worry that perhaps there is something wrong. I do not know if her intentions are malicious, but I am hoping they are not simply because I do not believe people are innately evil. There are always grays when it comes to people and their perspectives, and we should be willing to understand those perspectives. I do think their world view is probably skewed and this leads to making decisions that can come across as malicious to everyone else who views the world in a less distorted way. It's possible there is some sense of spiritual psychosis present, or perhaps some misinterpretation of godly interaction, whatever it is it's definitely a huge red flag that I think everyone should be aware of.

Sorry this was a long answer, thank you for the message. Feel free to pop in at any time, take care of yourself!

#ramessesanswers #pagantips #kemet #kemetism #kemeticism #kemetic orthodoxy #paganism #pagan

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softguarnere · 2 years

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i haven’t done a ship request in forever so hopefully i did this right i can’t remember lmao

for the most part, i’m pretty chill. i’m cool if you’re cool. if not, i can be salty and grumpy. most people would say i’m quiet, shy, and don’t talk much, but with friends, i’m a lot more animated and get more joke-y. i express a lot of my love through memes.

even though i probably qualify as someone you’d call ‘smart’ i’m much more in tune with my creative side (but that may just be the school trauma talking lmao) and i enjoy writing a lot. i also enjoy reading. my favorite are mysteries! other things i like doing is playing video games and watching YT vids about my latest hyperfixation. some more misc interests: history, true crime, anime, musical theater, and cute animals.

ngl i’m ace and so romantic/sexual relationships have never really been all too important to me. if it happens, it happens. ofc this is a ship request LOL, and while i don’t really have a type, i could only imagine living the rest of my life with someone who understands i’m not gonna be the most physically affectionate and that this neurodivergent potato needs space sometimes.

i’m not the biggest texter or responder to things either (usually not gonna be having lengthy convos in texts), and more of the type to randomly send someone something that reminded me of them at weird hours. but i’m not very high maintenance and if i love you, just chilling together is enough.

things i can’t stand in people: bigotry, pretentiousness, defensiveness when rightly called out for something, nazis (+ sympathizers) ✌️

Anon, I swear we could probs be best friends, because we have SO MUCH in common, oh my goodness. (And don't worry -- you did fine hehe) 😊

I ship you with . . .

David Webster!

Lowkey nervous to say that because I know a lot of people don't like him, but 👏hear👏me👏out👏

You know meet-cutes? Y'all accidentally have a meet-not-so-cute. You meet at Camp Toccoa and get off on the wrong foot because Webster is waxing poetic about weekend passes being canceled, and you think he's annoying and pretentious. Because of this, he ends up thinking you're more reserved, but once you finally get to know each other and you open up to him, he could swear that you're personality is brighter and warmer than the sun in the sky

This man is a hyperfixation enabler (in the best way)! He is so content to hear you infodump about the subjects that you're passionate about, and he's super happy to have someone to infodump about sharks with in return

Creative power couple. You're so supportive of each other's writing, helping each other through writer's blocks and bouncing ideas off each other. But he's also content to just sit next to you on quiet days while you both read. He just likes to spend time with you in any form

On occasion, he's a night owl -- especially if he's super hyperfixated on his work. He'll try his best -- like, he's trying really, really, hard, so credit where credit is due -- but he will probably wake you up in the middle of the night at some point to tell you a fact he thinks that you'll like. (And if you wanna show him facts that reminded you of him? His heart will literally melt, because he thinks being remembered is one of the greatest forms of love)

BUT at the same time, he completely gets it if you need space --especially physically. Honestly, he tends to get caught up in his writing so easily that if you need space, he's not gonna mope around or anything because he'll be using he time to work on his novel. I feel like y'all could just work so well together because, yeah it's fun to be around each other, but you both need time to recharge by yourselves, and there's no judgement in that

There is a learning curve, though, so you gotta give him some patience. It's not that Webster means to be overdramatic or pretentious, but sometimes he comes across that way, and he can be a little socially awkward because of it. Give him some time and he'll do better (because he would do anything for you), but patience is key while he learns

I hope you like poetry, because at some point, he is going to write some for you. Or just write anything about you. You know that quote about how "if a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"? Yeah, people reading his work hundreds of years from now are going to know exactly how head-over-heels David Webster was for you

Thanks for the request, Anon! I hope you liked this 💕🕊️

#my ace-spectrum ass living for relationships that are casual yet loving and where the other can have space #really shining through in this ship lol #anonymous #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers ships #david webster #david webster x reader #also being remembered/thought about IS the greatest form of love and no one can change my mind #might be my grief coming through with that part but I stand by it!!

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blackyuna · 6 months

Text

Stars Palette drawing rules:

use only 24 colors that represents each talent

no blending

just my thoughts just the cut

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★

I was gonna post this without the link to my inspiration. But this morning I randomly found it!! It was a Hakka drawing by WhiSha on Twitter (it was just a WIP when I saw it). I normally would bookmark posts but for some reason I didn’t bookmark that drawing. I know I liked it but I have this habit of going on my Twitter likes and would unconsciously like it again, thus removing the like. It’s been months and I don’t even know if the artist tagged the drawing. But today I found it! Funny thing about Twitter, you can search posts made by a user if you go to their profile and use the search box on the page BUT this only works on mobile.

Initially, I was planning to do just a couple of drawings. The simplest one I think would be Miyabi and it didn’t take me long to draw it. It wasn’t good though, so I ended up redrawing it. I was gonna stop after Arurandeisu but I don’t know I just feel like doing more. I did stop drawing by May to draw other things. Then continued in the last half of September and drew the first three graduates. I guess I was somewhat still sad because of Magni and Vesper. I was gonna stop at that but just to make it look good as a post on Tumblr, I also drew Roberu.

Then I just continued until I realized, I only needed to draw a bit more and I would have drawn all 24 Holostars talents. So I just drew the rest..

I really don’t know what I was thinking. Whenever I draw, I would either listen to Magnus Archives or a true crime podcast. Surprisingly therapeutic honestly.

I had 2 rules when I started. First one is obvious, use only the 24 colors representing Holostars. There are official Hex codes (mainly for Rio and Tempus HQ) but the rest I based on the background of the talent profile from the Holostars Official website. For Kaoru and Suzaku, I came across the color codes on Twitter. But I do take advantage of the canvas color which is always white. I’d like to think the color white represents Yagoo or Daidou Shinove. And the last rule, no blending. I was thinking, when you blend there will be a new color in between.

I do make sure to try to incorporate all the colors, which would explain why the details on Bettel’s collar are colored differently. Of course I couldn’t do that for all the talents so I just drew stars on the empty space.

I used an app called Sketchbook. When drawing I mainly used one brush that draws the sharpest lines, nothing much to say about that.

There were a couple of drawings I was worried about which is why I drew them last. But along the way, I kind of figured out what to do. Not all of the drawings were perfect. And when I couldn’t figure out what to do, I just changed the color instead of staying faithful to the design. Of course I wanted to stay as close to the original design, sometimes it just doesn’t work.

One drawing that surprised me was the Magni drawing. I was substituting colors but Magni with blond hair (Temma’s color), just looks weird. It feels like looking at a Magni we haven’t met. But somehow I managed to make it look different using grey for hair shadows (Vesper’s color) and using the skin shadow color (Rikka’s color). Then make sure to have a clear but subtle divide between hair and skin color. I was avoiding outlining the drawing but sometimes I can’t avoid it.

There are also moments that I’m thinking of a pose that would fit the talent’s personality (like Shien, Shinri and Uyu), then regret it cause gloves are hard to color especially because all of their gloves are black! But I kept it, especially Shinri cause I really want to draw his blue hand.

I wanted to draw Oga right from the beginning since he is one of my kamioshi but then again I was hesitant since Oga’s color scheme is dark. Also out of all the Stars, his skin tone is darker and it doesn’t look right to suddenly give him a light skin tone just cause it's convenient. I was going back and forth with the skin tone, I was debating Rikka’s color or Shinri’s color for the skin tone. Though Shinri’s color is probably the closest, it’s way too dark. I also wanted to color the hair mainly Magni’s color but there is no other darker color to give his hair shadows. So I ended up using the darkest blue (Izuru’s color) as base for the hair and every single black piece of clothing. Of course the colors are quite different from the original but it actually looks nice.

I’m planning to post the clean version. If you have noticed, on the posts I made, it has the line art. But I haven’t decided if I should post the clean version on the post I already created or post 3 new image sets (having 8 drawings each) for the clean version.

Well I’m done! I’m definitely gonna try and draw some other things. If I feel like it. But since I’m also doing a drawing summary for this year, I will definitely draw a couple more before the year ends. Heck, maybe I’ll draw Yagoo.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★

If the links aren’t working, here are the URL you can copy paste: Rio debut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEmz1bLVUNk Tempus HQ debut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jar19J3HXQY Color codes from Twitter: https://twitter.com/byongbyongbyong/status/1610860361745567745 Hakka WIP by Whisha: https://twitter.com/WhiSha_Sub/status/1643568245503324160 Hakka finished by Whisha: https://twitter.com/WhiSha_Sub/status/1643947160222695424

#blog #stars palette

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fingors · 1 year

Text

S: "So, this 'narrative', that's your domain? Not time, not space, not even anything physical or real, but a 'narrative'? Like a story?"

F: "pretty much, yeah"

S: "No. That's not a thing, that's physically impossible, realities aren't stories, they aren't fiction, they don't have some author presiding over everything dictating every move."

F: "yup, that's more or less right, Narratives not Authors"

S: "What? So there's a narrative-"

F: "Narrative"

S: "That's what I said, narra-"

F: "you didnt capitalize it, come on, this is the fundamental nature of things you gotta put some *respect* on it"

S: "That makes zero sense, and why do you of all people care?"

F: "personally I don't give a flying fuck, but this is an important discussion so it helps to be right"

S: "Sure. So there's a NARRATIVE, is that better?"

F: "that's all caps, tone it back to just the start"

S: "Narrative."

F: "yeah, there we go, nice"

S: "This is literally just emphasizing certain parts of the word."

F: "yes, but actually no"

S: "Again, zero sense, but moving on. So Narrative, but not author?"

F: "Author should also, technically, be capitalized here"

S: "Technically? Unlike Narrative which doesn't carry that footnote?"

F: "mmhmm, you'll see why later. anyways yeah, Narrative*s*, no Authors, or at least Authors as you would think of them. no god somewhere holding a pen who's scribbles make up everything we know, nothing stupid like that"

S: "Then what, *exactly*, is a Narrative?"

F: "think of your average, good, story, and how each character in it is tied to some rules, by their personality, by their role, by their fate (if applicable). characters don't go randomly breaking out of their established personality and role"

S: "So people are completly bound by this? They have no free will, simply puppets of their role?"

F: "nope! the Narrative pretty much just provides a start, a few critical mid, and end points, how you get between these it doesn't care all that much so long as you follow your, general, role, can't have the bard dealing every (literal) kill now can we?"

S: "You're describing something most people would just call fate."

F: "fate is fully predetermined, unlike this which can branch depending on how some people act"

S: "What? How does that work?"

F: "it just does man, it just does"

S: "Fine, say I do accept the idea that this thing exists and isn't just fate dressed in other clothing, how is it your domain? By the sounds of it this is effectivly a series of semi-predetermined events, what is there to see, manipulate, or protect about this?"

F: "the points aren't fixed, points that have been setup can be removed, new ones can be added, it's possible to create a completly different spaghetti mess than the one you entered with"

S: "Congratulations on making less than zero sense, quite the feat all things considered."

F: "yeah I thought you might say something like that, theres no Author but there are a few other roles that are can greatly alter the Narrative, such as The Narrator"

S: "..."

F: "dont look at me like that im telling the truth. anyways The Narrator is, well, pretty much how narrators work in normal stories, they set the scene, they describe things as needed, they list *how* characters think and speak. someone acting as The Narrator can easily override the existing Narrative by casually leaving things out of a scene, forcing characters to say their internal thoughts outloud, think swapping a 'he thought' for a 'he yelled', and general shit like that"

S: "So they control the 'characters' and 'scenes', like an Author would."

F: "nope, they only control how the scenes are presented and how actions are described, characters still act on their own according to themselves, and the locations are still the same, even if The Narrator leaves an object out of the scene description a character could go pick it up if its in the location"

S: "So, The Narrator, can describe a scene, which then influences actions of characters, but doesn't control them?"

F: "ye"

S: "What the hell."

F: "yeah its like that at first"

S: "A Narrative, with preset points, that can be branched by characters, or overwritten by Author-like roles, filled with characters who have free will but are heavily influenced by the Narrative and its scenes?"

F: "actually even characters without Narrative altering roles can sometimes overwrite the points"

S: "None of this makes any sense."

F: "yeah, honestly, not really, you just have to accept it and work with it"

F: "anyways, there's another important detail, Narrative Weight. certain characters, actions, places, so on have more Narrative Weight than others. the higher something's Narrative Weight, the more of an impact on the Narrative it has. think of the protagonist in a story, their actions, thoughts, reasons are the main driving force behind the story, as such they have the highest Narrative Weight for that story"

S: "No."

F: "yeah, all characters have Narrative Weight, they wouldnt be able to exist otherwise, but most have an irrelevant weight in comparison"

S: "Fine. Whatever, Narratives, Characters, Weights, Scenes, Narrators, Authors, say I accept this as how your reality functions, what's *your* relation to it?"

F: "my weight is undefined"

S: "I'm this close to getting James to rewind things so this entire debacle never occured."

F: "its true, my narrative weight doesnt have a fixed, or even bounded, value. its fucking bouncy, it goes from near irrelevant, to near total control, to actually negative, that shit hurts. its actually somewhat possible to control, which allows me to see the general structure of the Narrative and poke at its edges pretty often"

S: "Undefined Narrative Weight. Sure, fine, whatever, ok."

F: "yeah thats pretty much it, i have a little NULL value where there should be something and it managed to cause the Narrative im part of to completly unravel, be rebuilt, unravel again, be rebuilt, and so on about 16 and a half times now. you should have seen the last brawl for the Narrator role, it got messy"

#fingors speaks #writing #can you tell i was adding to this and working it out as I went?#cause i sure can #honestly this is not really how i wanted them to turn out #as a rough first idea draft its not awful #but i need to rework a lot of the ideas

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baekhvuns · 2 years

Note

What type of cat do you wanna be? I just wanna knead his back don't care about categories 😭

Yes I'm waiting for a vampire Hwa fic that will suit my taste, because the period sex ones 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️ OUT OF THE QUESTION. I vividly remember one but it was short about y/n sneaking out on the balcony to meet him? Actually I can't remember if he was a vampire, but I think so dudjejddhkshdhshw or maybe I made that fic up lmao. It's like werewolves and br**ding kink EVERY FUCKING TIME GIVE IT A REST. Though since I'm on my period now I wouldn't mind a vamp sucking the blood out of me, preferably all my blood so I will pass away

Man said "I didn't mean to play push and pull" are you sure BRO are you sure BABY BOY?! Also my other issue with the "show abs" is that some don't have abs? I'm happy when I see idols in crop tops, but without toned stomachs <3 I don't need them to starve to show their midriff

SPIDERMAN: EVERYONE'S HOME I FUCKING YELLED KWHRJSBDSHDJSHS yes mosquitoes are sneaky, blood suckers ugh, why can't vampires suck my blood instead. My friend said THERE WAS A SPIDER ABOVE OUR MAIN DOOR TOO???? A SMALL ONE BUT STILL

SM can't commit unfortunately, they have cool ideas but the execution 🥴 Some people say lore is too confusing and stops them from enjoying the songs and mvs??? I saw that complaint about Ateez so many times. Actually I think Xdinary Heroes have lore too, I'm anticipating their comeback FINALLY. Yeah some of Aespa lore is so corny and the way they put Kwangya and Naevis in the lyrics is so annoying, why can't you be more subtle hellooooo. I was talking about Enhypen and their vampires/werewolves story, but their recent comeback didn't reference them and I was so disappointed I also disliked the song, but that's another story

The song titles are pretty strong and straightforward I wanna know moreeeee, which one is the TT. Idk bestie many people like the squares?! If you don't have a lot of space then yeah they're better, but everything inside will be smaller ughhhh, idk if they did it randomly or because we're back to Halateez, regardless I'm not too happy. Also it says PHOTOBOOKLET not PHOTOBOOK what if it's not as thick as usual, I'm worried 😭 I live for the photobooks, why are we downgrading come oooooon. I saw the re-design it was better, but I saw Atinys who were like OMFG ATEEZ DESIGNS ARE ALWAYS SO GORGEOUS!!! To each their own, but have you seen other album covers uhmmm Ateez can't compare I'm sorry. And someone got ratioed for being unGraTeFuL omfg stfu, people are allowed to complain, stop riding KQ's dick so hard... I got 3 signed albums! I also joined 3 video call events so far, hopefully I win something <3 a photo teaser should drop soon the no time stamps thing pisses me off, but look like I'll be awake for today's concept photo, it better be good

THAT GIF DJSUDJSJSHSHSHS FORGOT HOW ANNOYING HE WAS BUT THAT'S BB HWA FOR SURE

Size kink is not here miss, Mingi and Yunho are taller than me, but not that tall, if I wear high heels we're pretty much the same height. They didn't play Fireworks :/// I missed Answer and SMN

Oh I didn't know Dean comes to Canada often also where is he? Maybe I missed something because I don't keep up with him. Yes most fans are pissed at Sunmi, but some have no problem with NFTs. A.C.E's US label wanted to invest in them, people ratioed that label's CEO and they cancelled it sufhjshdjshdhrj so fucking funny. Also this happened, I was like NOOOOO DON'T DO IT TO MY NUGU GIRLS. OMFG Kun did it? That's shitty :( Hybe is really into NFTs rn it's yikessss

Well if I can't get vampire Hwa I will be the vampire instead idc, his neck and arms look delectable...😋 omfg your friend met Mr Hutaaaaa 👀 some idols probably don't know the shit about AW, some are forced to work with him ehhh. I wanna see idols in more interesting clothes perhaps local designers, not the usual boring big names. Seriously when will Hwa have his own cover, Hyunjin and Felix and Chan, Minho too had solo or unit shoots, I'm waiting for Seonghwa 😭😭😭😭 and we all know man loves fashion and posing

The photos A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BEFORE I SINK MY TEETH INTO HIS FLESH. Also Yunho trying to slice his neck?!??!

Please he's so cute with his MILF bag 😌 the likes tho, Shitstars are too delulu 💔 we're a lost cause. And one more - DV 💖

hi hello!!

What type of cat do you wanna be? I just wanna knead his back don't care about categories 😭

JFBWKDHSK ID WANNA BE THE CAT IN BUZZFEED WHEN THEY HAVE A CAT-INTERVIEW WITH THEM 😭😭😭 specifically the one that hwa holds <3 id perish,, kneading biscuits <3

YEAH !!!! i don’t think theres like a full on vampire fic in the ateez section,,,, i rmr reading one for exo it had like 40+ parts and is at 9.9 mil rn,,, so good, waiting for SOMEONE TO AT LEAST WRITE A TWILIGHT AU 😭😭 OH GOD I GENUINELY DESPISE THE PERIOD ONES EVERYTIME I SEE A VAMPIRE FIC AND I GO REWD IT AND IFS JUST OERIOD SEX THE WAY I RUN OUT 😭😭😭 HOW DOES ONE THINK OF THEM 😭😭😭 oh my god, as much as im ok with the aspect of alpha’s and stuff the breeding kink in the abo section is INTENSE 😭😭🤚🏼NO LITERALLY LIKE MAKE IT SOMETHING THAT’S MAYBE JUST REGULAR WHY U GOTTA BREED 🔫 BRMWDHWJGDWK ALL OF THE BLOOD 😭😭🤚🏼

“didn’t mean to play push and pull” AND HERE U ARE DOING THE EXACT AND LIKING IT 🤚🏼🔫 HES INTO ETL FOR SURE HE’S THE TYPE TO READ ARRANGE MARRIAGE AU’S AND ETLS AND RIVALS TO LOVERS 1000% omg right like i see fans go “omg don’t pressure them into showing abs u literally don’t deserve them” and then a month later when the abs are shown its like a whole diff scenario,,, YEAAH !!!! EXACTLY !!! tbh they don’t even need to have abs,,, like just have a stomach that’s all good with us <3 eat and have some chubby cheeks and id cry <3

LMFAOOOO BFWMBDWKJDKW IT WAS A GOOD JOKE I KEPT LAUGHING AT IT TOO FBFBFBF its like vampires are the ancestors to mosquitoes,, mf wont leave us alone 😭😭 HELLOOO?????? MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF UR PLACE WHAT THENFUCKFHWKDJJWL

EXACTLY THE EXECUTION GOT LAZY WITH THE NEW EXPERIMENTS THEYVE BEEN DOING 😭😭 bruh tbh the lore makes everything more interesting personally,,, NO IF THE LORE IS TOO CONFUSING JUST??? DONT?? PAY ATTENTION TO IT??? 😭😭 enjoy the music bro 😭😭 IM EXCITED FOR XDINARY HEROS THEY SEEM TO HAVE A COOL CONCEPT yEah THE “my nævis we love u” no bro 😭😭 u don’t 😭😭 ENHA HAS A WEREWOLF THEORY?????????????????????????????????????????? HELLO????????????????

RIGHT i so think the first one is the title,,,, with them teasers out i def think it’s that 😮‍💨😮‍💨 THE MAIN ISSUE WITH THE SMALL ONE IS THAT (i don’t mind them tbh) but everything jUST SO SMOLL 🤏🏼🤏🏼 and like the booklet be closing randomly if ur holding it and wHAT ABT THE PHOTOGRAPHY WE WANTED TO SEE IT BIG BUT 😭😭 GET THE FUCK OUT IT SAYS PHOTOBOOKLET??? GOD WHATD WHJFHWKDHWK OK I CHECKED ,,, IN THE SMN (and all the ones with squares) ERA THE PHOTOBOOK WAS ALSO CALLED PHOTOBOOKLET,,, no ur so right as much as the minimalism is good sometimes,,,, maybe it’s better for a nicer album and ditching the minimalistic side,, i don’t mind either but sometimes a new side is good to test too 😭😭 atz on their way to hire atinys WAIT RLY??? damn can’t have no opinions in atinyvile YOU GOT THEM??? BESTIE LESSGOOOOO MANIFESTING SEONGHWAS SIGNED ALBUMS FOR UUUU !!!!! AAAAA I HOPE U GET IN !!!!! omg did u get the digipack???? tbh that digipack sounds kinda promising but it’s only for americans and 🔫🔫🤚🏼🔫🤚🏼🤚🏼 me and my friends were up all might trying to see what hour they’d drop them and everytime they didn’t we’d call it a scam 😭😭😭

but,,, that ain’t san,,, that thor

THAT GIF DJSUDJSJSHSHSHS FORGOT HOW ANNOYING HE WAS BUT THAT'S BB HWA FOR SURE

BDKQHDKS EXACTLY 😭😭 MAKES ME WANNA REWATCH IT JUST FOR HIM and he’s sO FINE 😭😭😭 be was also so whipped i felt bad for him when his family never let him see his mom when she passed

Size kink is not here miss, Mingi and Yunho are taller than me, but not that tall, if I wear high heels we're pretty much the same height. They didn't play Fireworks :/// I missed Answer and SMN

i am literally on my way, booking the MF flight to come and sTEAL UR LEGS RN GIVE ME SOME INCHES I JUST NEED TWO MORE HELLO IF U ARE DONATING PLS LMK FBWKFEJ GOFUNDME <333 NAURRRR U MISSED SMN ???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH HE COMES HERE OFTEN !!!! he’s finally releasing an album after like 5 years bestie bfwmbd,,, sunmi’s response to it had me 💀 LMFAOOOO THE WAY KPOP FANS BULLY COMPANIES INTO DOING THIS IS SO CHAOTIC FBFBFB NUGU GIRLIES FBWNDHQKDHWK PLS 😭😭😭 YEAH KUN DID IT ITS STILL UP ON HIS IG,,, hybe’s stocks going 📉📉📉

LMFAOOOO NFBWNDBSM I SUPPORT THIS HUNGER !!!! no fr and she’s younger than me (exchange student thing that is why) and everytime i see her stories its her at a btob meeting or concert or fanmeet,, im like go yOU I GET FREE CONTENT FBFB yEAAH THEY PROBS DONT but ain’t CL his bestie 🔫 yEAAAH LIKE HOW BP DID TO THE HANBOKS FROM A LOCAL STYLISTS STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE RLY BENEFICIAL,,, sEONGHWA FOR VOGUE OR ELLE WHEN THE DAY IT HAPPENS MODEL HWA AU HWA WOULD BE RISEN

The photos A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BEFORE I SINK MY TEETH INTO HIS FLESH. Also Yunho trying to slice his neck?!??! Please he's so cute with his MILF bag 😌 the likes tho, Shitstars are too delulu 💔 we're a lost cause. And one more - DV 💖

KISS ON THE FOREHEAD AND A BITE??? DBDBFBFBD HIS MILF BAG STOP I SCREAMED 😭😭😭😭 he looks so fine there,,, him in normal clothes is so >>>> shinestar’s will always give the most rando video of seonghwa more them 1K likes

bestie we got a quizzz !!!!

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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lazyevaluationranch · 3 years

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On a post about the Blue Haired Girlfriend's quixotic citrus breeding experiments, @voidingintotheshout asked:

I mean, if you wanted a hearty citrus relative, why didn’t you just grow Osage Orange? They can grow as far north as Michigan which is surely further north than anyone could reasonably expect to grow a citrus tree. They’re not edible but then hearty orange isn’t either. Osage Orange are so cool and such a interesting historical plant from the Shelterbelt era of American agriculture. Apparently they do smell like citrus.

This is part three of three. Part one. Part two.

Now you've done it! It's time for A Very Brief (But Also Insufficiently Brief) History of Twentieth Century Hardy Citrus Cultivation! Growing citrus trees this far north is kind of nuts, it's true, but I promise you it is not even close to the weirdest things people have done to grow citrus in places where the citrus doesn't think it should grow.

A note: This post will written using the Swingle citrus taxonomy system, including things that are definitely wrong. The citrus taxonomic tree looks like that one box of orphaned computer cords I keep moving with me to new houses "in case I need them" except some sort of adorable five-dimensional kitten has entertained herself with them and some of the resulting knots are not technically possible in our space-time continuum.

The powers that be gave us citrus because nothing pleases them like seeing a geneticist cry.

1. The Migrant Trees

The Soviet Union wanted lemons for tea, and they wanted to be independent enough not to have to trade with anyone else to get them, which meant they wanted to grow their own citrus. That part of the world is not a great place to grow plants that die when the temperature goes below zero, but at the foundation of the Soviet Union, there were citrus orchards in the warmest part of Georgia, along the Black Sea. Specifically, there was about, uh, one and a half square kilometers of somewhat implausible citrus orchard.

Hang on, it is about to get way less plausible.

This is the great citrus migration: any tree that did well in one spot, they'd try planting its seeds a few kilometres further north, or a few kilometres further east. Prizes were offered for breeding hardier citrus. Slowly the orchards spread, but they were extremely weird orchards.

It's usually a few degrees warmer at ground level than up in the air, and there's way less wind. So as the trees grew, they were bent over and tied along the ground. Some of them had the central trunk run in a straight line along the ground, with branches spreading out from it like the leaves of a fern, like an espaliered tree on its side. Others were starfish shaped, with the central trunk looped down until it ended up next to the base, and the branches sprawling out along the ground from the centre like starfish legs. The citrus trees were no taller than particularly vigorous strawberry plants, but they survived the winters, and you could throw a blanket over them to help them stay warm.

None of that helped if the ground froze solid, so they needed Underground Citrus. You'd dig a ditch, down below the lowest area where the ground froze, and you'd plant flat Starfish Trees or Flat Frond Trees running along the bottom of it, too deep to freeze. In winter, you'd just cover the ditch with boards any time the temperature was expected to go below freezing - citrus would tolerate the lack of light, but not the cold. Mandarins (Citrus reticulata) seemed to do best, so that’s most of what was grown.

It is a nearly unimaginable amount of work to grow citrus this way, along the bottoms of pits and trenches. We are experimentally trying to grow a Soviet-developed mandarin breed of unknown parentage, Shirokolistvennyi, but we will definitely not be putting in that level of effort.

2. The Mixed Up Trees

There are a couple species of citrus that tolerate cold well, but taste awful. A lot of effort has gone into crossbreeding them with more edible citrus. The results are ... mixed.

The Ichang Papeda (Citrus cavaleriei) generally survives temperatures down to -18 degrees C. It is stoic and calm and has mastered emptiness. Unfortunately, it has mastered emptiness too well. The fruit smells like lemons, with maybe a hint of rose, but there's nothing to eat here. It has a rind and seeds. No juice, no flesh.

(Photo by Michael Saalfield)

The Ichang Papeda is the parent or grandparent to several delicious, extremely sour Asian citrus types. Yuzu/yuja smells like grapefruit and clean wet stones from the bottom of a fast-flowing stream. Sudachi smells like grapefruit and leaves with dew on them. (I haven't met kabosu or any other papeda hybrids personally, but they are numerous.) They're all too sour to eat plain, unless you really need to turn your face inside out for some reason, but make for excellent flavouring.

(We have a yuzu tree and a sudachi tree and they're surviving, but no fruit yet.)

Trifoliate orange (Poncirus trifoliata) can survive temperatures down to -30 degrees C. This may be partly because, uniquely amoung citrus, they can drop leaves in autumn or winter and regrow them in spring, like a maple tree. They also produce an internal antifreeze. They are angry, twisted, thorny little plants that yell swears when you walk past them. They make a great hedge. The fruit is furry, smells like flowers and pine trees and taste like burnt, bitter plastic. It may or may not be possible to breed the horrible taste completely out of trifoliate oranges without losing cold-hardiness, if it's due to their antifreeze chemicals. Here’s Stabby:

(Photo by Rob Hille)

Even the least terrible trifoliate crossbreeds are bitter enough to qualify as “acquired tastes.” There are recipes for trifoliate marmalade: put a dozen trifoliate oranges, a kilogram of sugar, and a kilogram of pebbles in a pot, cook until it gels, then sieve out the oranges and eat the pebbles.

We are growing a trifoliate orange / minneola orange hybrid. And, of course, someday our own trifoliate hybrids. The Blue Haired Girlfriend planted 200 trifoliate oranges a couple years ago. There are fewer now, but the survivors have lived through two winters of snow and frost, and they might have somehow gotten more stabby. We're going to breed them, to each other or to less angry fruit, try and make something new and good from them.

I've limited this post to twentieth century hardy citrus breeding, but I have to give a shoutout to somatic hybridization, a decidedly twenty first century technique, where you take a cell from each of two different plants, remove their cell walls, put them next to eachother, and shock them with electricity until they merge into a single cell whose nucleus contains all genes from both plants. Then the new plant is like, "Wow, I guess these are all my genes? It seems like a lot, haha, but it's not like somebody made me from dismembered body parts and electricity, that is not how science works. Anyway I guess it's time to do some plant stuff now."

3. The Mutant Trees

In the 1950s, people started using radiation to randomly scramble the genes of plants. You'd irradiate seeds enough to change the genes somehow, and then you'd have to plant them to see what had happened. Maybe it was people horrified by the atomic bomb desperately wanting to find some life-supporting use for atomic fission, maybe it was government-supported cold war "atom bombs are good actually, look how many we have, USSR" propaganda. Probably both.

This time period also saw serious plans for Orion, a spaceship with a huge metal plate for a butt, intended to be propelled by exploding atomic bombs under it, which I am not actually making up.

Thousands of people in Europe and the US signed up to receive seeds with random mutations in the mail, plant them, and report back on what they heck they grew into and if it had any useful weirdness. (The gamma radiation used to mutate the seeds did not make them radioactive themselves - the seeds were completely safe.) There were also more formal and carefully controlled university research programs in China, Japan, and the US, where plants where grown in a circular research garden with a coverable radiation source at the centre, so that the farther you got from the centre, the less radiation the plants got. Radiation breeding is less popular than it used to be, but Japan still has a very productive citrus radiation breeding program.

The most popular radiation-bred citrus is the "Rio Red" grapefruit and its offspring, which has a much deeper red than non-mutant red grapefruit.

There aren't many radiation-developed citrus breeds noted for cold-hardiness - with radiation you get whatever you get - but there are a few, and I want one just because I think they're neat, a monument to that lovely human vision that looks at terrible weapons and somehow sees glossy-leaved trees with bright fruit.

4. The Monster Trees

Citrus are usually grown via grafting. That is, you plant a seed from a fast-growing sturdy breed, you let it grow roots and all that, and then you cut the top off and replace it with a branch from a more delicious breed. The two citruses grow together, and you end up with a tree that's disease and cold resistant in the roots, below the graft, but makes tasty fruit above the graft.

Occasionally, this process goes Wrong.

The first recorded instance is the tree called Bizarria, discovered in 1640. Someone attempted to graft a sour orange branch onto a citron. But instead of a clean line between sour orange branches and citron roots, the graft was damaged somehow, and the two different species of cells got tangled and mixed through the whole tree. It has branches that produce citron fruit. It has branches that produce sour orange fruit. And it has branches that produce, uh ... these:

(Photo by Labrina)

Most graft chimeras are made accidentally, when the graft site is damaged. Trifoliate orange is often used as rootstock, so there are many reported chimeras involving trifoliate orange and a nicer fruit. The mixed-up cells can be arranged a lot of ways, but it's possible to have the outside layer of the tree be trifoliate orange, and the core of the tree be the other citrus (periclinal chimera). This means you could theoretically get a tree with frostproof trifoliate leaves and branches, but fruit that doesn’t taste like burnt plastic rolled in quinine.

This lucky monstrosity has, in fact, reportedly happened. Twice. There is the Prague Citsuma, discovered in a greenhouse in Prague and suspected to have been created by a Soviet breeding program. And then there is the Hormish, discovered in China and thought to have been made by frostbite messing up the clean lines of the graft. The Blue Haired Girlfriend has managed to track down budwood from the Prague Citsuma - I’m so excited! - so we'll see how the fierce thorny monster tree with a heart of gold, or at least heartwood of gold, does for us.

5. Conclusion

Humans have been trying to grow citrus trees where they don't belong for nearly two thousand years, at least since the Jewish Diaspora and people trying to grow holy etrog trees - trunks gnarled as barnacle stones and the whole tree scented like the best dream you can't remember - in Europe. Maybe longer.

The Blue Haired Girlfriend's citrus-breeding schemes aren't going to singlehandedly transform Canada into a net citrus exporter. But history shows us: it might be possible to have a little gleaming sweetness from the stony ground here, with the ravens and the fir trees and the auroras. A sweetness we made ourselves, that exists nowhere else.

Or maybe we'll just have a bunch of weird inedible fruit. I don't know, but it's worth finding out, worth weaving together leaf and thorn and stone and the light of our hands as the years unwind. Worth it to have a quixotic project we can expect to spend decades on together, hands and hearts. This is how home is made, sometimes, with a balcony full of angry thorny little trees that shout swears at passerby.

#part three of three #so much doesn't fit in this post #fog gardening #how lemons started the mafia #etrogs in diaspora #citropsis and the african citrus species #we are still discovering new citrus species in oceania!#who knows what we'll make?#and one day we'll scoop up hydrocarbons from Titan's stormy seas and polymerize them and make huge bubble greenhouses filled with citrus #small children will fling squishy citrus at their siblings by the coiled light of Jupiter #which is as it should be #thank you voidingintotheshout for an excuse for all sorts of ranting

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butwhyduh · 3 years

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Peeping through the stacks

Jason todd x reader

Valentine’s fic

Warning: smut

I recommend the book I mentioned if you like the classics.

“I have a proposition,” Jason said and your eyebrows rose. “Not that kind. We separate. I grab you a book and you get me one. And we meet up afterwards to go to dinner to see what we got. No cheating. No following each other around. Whoever gives the better gift, wins and gets to control the rest of the night.”

“Sounds like plan. Just know Todd,” you said moving up in his space standing on your tiptoe to talk in his ear. “I’m going to crush you.”

“Only if you win, baby. Only if you win,” he said with a smirk. He opened the door to the largest used bookstore in Gotham. 3 stories with a section of just records and another of old comics, it was heaven. They even had a coffee shop in the back of the second story. You went left and he went right.

You went straight for the classics. Jason would pour over old novels for hours and his favorite were clearly dog eared. You thought about replacing them but, while he’s appreciate it, it wasn’t exactly exciting. You milled around the area, looking at books that were nice but not it. As you moved to leave the area, a section caught your eyes.

If you love the classics but need a book written in the last 50 years:

This is what you needed. A careful list of books that you like next to new books was perfect. Jason had been reading his copy of Moby Dick and talking about the hubris of man recently, heavily alluding to Bruce. You grabbed the recommended book: In the Heart of the Sea.

Now to find Jason. You had agreed to no cheating but it wasn’t really cheating to just watch him if you had already picked. He was probably in your favorite area and you walked upstairs to watch down low.

Jason was holding two books in hand and looking between them both. You felt a thrill to watch him. He almost always caught you quickly but the store with multiple patrons and levels must have thrown him off a little. He finally grabbed a book and looked directly up at you with a smirk. You threw your fist playfully. He’s certainly caught you. You came downstairs with a grin.

“I knew you were watching me. That’s cheating,” he said. You held the book behind your back as you kissed his cheek.

“It’s not cheating if I didn’t change my book,” you protested and he kissed your forehead.

“Tell yourself that. Let’s check out and then I can win,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulder and walking to the counter. You both laid them down, face down because you’re competitive, and paid. You carried two separate bags and held hands as you walked down to a little cafe on the corner.

The place had the coolest vibes. Fresh coffee day and night, records and music memorabilia on the wall, and a band of musician played on a tiny stage every night. Valentine’s was no exception. You found a table in the back and promptly ordered your favorites from the menu.

“Okay. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” you said with a grin.

“I thought we’d wait until tonight to do that,” Jason said with a roguish wink. “Oh, you mean the books. Yeah, let’s swap.”

You gave him his bag and he yours. It almost looked like a drug deal if it wasn’t books. You pulled out the book. A continuation of a series you loved but had a hard time finding the next parts. Jason pulled out his and read the back.

“Okay, you won,” you said with a teasing scrunch of your face. “This is really great.”

“This looks great. But you did cheat too...” he said pretending to take his time deciding. “I guess I’ll take the win. But it was pretty close, I��m not going to lie.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

“Seriously, I can’t wait to bore you with more whaling facts.”

“I’m taking it back,” you said and he laughed. “I can’t learn anymore. I’m not kidding.” Jason’s eyes smiled too and you loved the sight. He looked happy. You food arrived and a folk band started playing.

As your food dwindled and it was fully dark outside, Jason’s gaze lingered on your body. His hand sat on your knee as you talked.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said randomly and you exhaled quickly with a shy smile as you looked away. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Okay,” you said, letting him pull you from the cafe and a few blocks down. Jason pulled you close and rubbed his nose against your cheek. You turned your head up to close the space between your lips. It started as soft, gentle, cute. But Jason gripped your hips and pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck and before you knew it, you were being pushed against a wall as he kissed down your throat. You made soft sounds as he nipped and kissed the sensitive skin.

“Jason,” you said breathlessly. He hummed against your skin. “Take me home. Take me home.”

You ran your hands along the muscles under his shirt as you rode behind him on the motorcycle. Jason insisted on helmets and you wished you could kiss at the back of his neck. Probably best. Your hands on his stomach were distracting enough.

Jason barely drove the bike into the parking garage of his building before pulling off his helmet and turning towards you. You did the same. Neither of you climbed off as you made out. His tongue slid in your mouth as his hands held the back of your skull in place. He reached behind him to turn it off as you kissed.

“Upstairs,” you breathed. He nodded before getting up and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed his neck as you walked towards the elevator. The knee high slit in your skirt had scooted up to expose most of your thigh. Luck was on your side as no one was around to watch but security must have gotten a great show with the pair of you aggressively kissing. Jason pressed your back against the wall in the elevator as you rode up to his floor.

He carried you down the hall. You were less lucky as your elderly neighbor was sitting in the end of the hallway as she always did everyday. She’d watch the sunset and people watch everyone coming home from work or school. She giggled and looked away. Jason put you down the second you both realized and you flushed with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry sweetie, I was married once. Happy Valentine’s,” she said with a big smile looking out the window. Jason quickly pulled you in the apartment.

“I forgot about her,” he said. “Gross part is that she’s probably thinking about her dead husband and all the times he used to rail her.”

You glared at Jason. “That’s.... so gross. Why? Like you ruined it. Your dirty mouth.”

“I can get it a little dirtier,” he said with a wink but ruined by bursting into laughter. “Like do old people blow each other? Can their hips bend that much? I know their knees are bad. What age did they have to give them up?”

“Shut the fuck up. That’s so gross,” you said putting you hand over his mouth and he laughed before pulling you close.

“You look really pretty tonight. I forgot to tell you because I kept staring at you,” he said with a soft look. He bent and kissed you sweetly. Not rushed or hard like earlier. He slowly pulled you to the bedroom. You pulled each other’s clothing off as you walked. Shirt here. Pants there.

“Thank you. You look good too,” you said as you pulled the bedroom door closed. Jason rolled his eyes. He never agreed with you but had given up on arguing.

Jason pulled you on top of him in bed. His nose ran up your throat until his lips met yours. He was slow and deliberate in his movement. His hands roamed your body as you moved your legs to straddle him. You didn’t bother teasing either of you but instead sunk down on him.

“Princess,” he breathed with closed eyes. You sat for just a moment, get used to him, before starting to move. You bent at the waist to give him long deep sloppy kisses. “Baby,” he pleaded before you started moving.

“Remember, I won,” Jason said.

“Yeah,” you asked with a grin. “What do you want, Jaybird?”

“This. Keep riding me. You look so good,” he said breathlessly. His hands gripped your hips as you bounced. He grimaced as you swirled your hips. “Fuck!”

“Oh we like that,” you commented. He chuckled distractedly. Jason pulled you down to where he could kiss and nip at your chest. You whined as he took your nipple in his mouth. He let go with a loud smack.

“Mmm someone seems to like that,” he quipped. You pressed yourself back towards his face and he chuckled against your skin before giving your breasts the attention you wanted.

“I love your Valentine’s gift. You’re so thoughtful,” you said breathlessly. Jason looked up at you confused.

“Yeah no problem. Is now the time?” He asked with his eyes half closed and mouth open as he breathed heavily. His hips jumped to meet yours and he reached a hand down to rub circles on your clit. You moaned loudly and he smiled as he watched you come undone. He thrust your faster to finish with you. You both moved together jumpily as you buried your head in his neck. You breathed for a few second before softly kissing his lips.

“I seriously loved today,” you said.

“Yeah, I’m glad. Me too. Surprised that no one call-“ Jason started before his phone rang and he sighed. “At least we finished. I’ve got to take this,” he said and you rolled off and curled in the blanket. He answered the phone as he threw on boxer briefs. He looked at you wistfully as he talked. It sounded important.

“My source said Black Mask is getting a shipment early this morning so I’ve got to go. We can’t have those guns on the street,” Jason said after hanging up. He leaned over to give you a dizzying kiss. “I’ve got to go but here is your book and a glass of water. Don’t stay up. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“Be safe,” you said before he climbed out the window.

“Aren’t I always,” he said and you just knew he was grinning under the helmet before jumping from a 6 story window. No, you thought, no you aren’t.

#jason todd x reader #Jason todd smut #red hood x reader #red hood smut #batboy smut #valentine fic

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wazzupmrstark · 3 years

Text

instead of you [part seventeen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol +sex

word count: 1.5k

series masterlist

The flight from Naples to Tokyo took fourteen hours, not including the two and a half hour layover in Istanbul, meaning you had sixteen and a half hours to sit in awkward tension-filled silence next to Sam. The tension was one-sided, of course, but it was still agonizing to endure.

You had been able to push your anxiety aside during your last day in Italy because it had been so busy. There had been a power outage in the middle of the night, causing everyone to oversleep and miss the ferry for one of your tours that morning. It had been a scramble to get back on schedule and do as much as possible with the time you had left. The boys had been hungover and their parents were tired of wrangling them. You had dozens of photos on your camera roll of Sam and Harry bickering when they were supposed to be posing for a nice picture, and even more of Tom flicking them off.

But now you were stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to use distraction as a means to escape. You tried reading your book, but found yourself unable to concentrate on the words on the page. After staring at the same paragraph for over fifteen minutes Sam noticed and asked if you were okay and you finally decided to call it quits.

You almost wished the Hollands hadn’t scheduled in a day and a half to adjust to the time zone change. You’d rather exhaust yourself with the nonstop tourist bullshit than have to cope with the reality that you had gotten off to thoughts about your best friend’s brother. Not to mention living with the secret that the same best friend’s brother had kissed you not long before that.

If Sam noticed anything was off, he didn’t mention it. He probably chalked it up to lack of sleep, or perhaps was too tired himself to care.

“Which one of us do you think will be randomly selected in customs today?” Harry asked, stretching his arms above his head.

You were standing in the aisle waiting to deplane, placing bets on who’d get searched by border agents this time. Somehow each time you traveled to a new place one of you was always chosen to get pat down or have your carry-on searched. Tom had yet to be the lucky winner, and you suspected it had something to do with his celebrity status.

“Y/n,” Tom answered easily. “She has the U.S. passport.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like England has a squeaky clean record with Japan.”

“At least we didn’t-”

“Bro, you can’t say the b word on a plane,” Harry interrupted.

“Even when the plane’s on the ground?”

Sam shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Whatever,” Tom continued. “It’s definitely going to be y/n.”

“Would you mind stepping out of line, ma’am?”

You sighed, not even bothering to look back at the boys. You already knew they were grinning like idiots and you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. The agent ushered you to the side behind a glass partition, but not before you heard another agent repeat the same question to one of the Hollands. You smiled to yourself, happy not to be the only one singled out.

Behind the privacy screen another agent greeted you and asked you to take your sweatshirt off, explaining that it was too baggy and needed to be checked. You saw other people in baggy clothes who weren’t getting pulled out of line, but assumed they didn’t have the red flag of “U.S. Citizen” printed on their identification that would be cause for any additional suspicion. You complied with the agent’s request and pulled your sweatshirt off for them to further inspect.

You were glad you’d worn a sports bra underneath your sweatshirt because you usually didn’t wear anything underneath them. As soon as your head was out of the pullover you immediately met by Tom’s polite smile.

He averted his eyes as soon as he saw you, pausing his conversation with the official to mumble a quiet ‘sorry’ to you as he was shown to the spot next to yours.

You zoned out as they spoke, only aware of him again when he started unbuckling his belt. You caught his eye this time.

“Forgot to take it off,” he explained.

“Sweatshirt’s too loose.”

You both faced forward as the customs officials proceeded through the motions. You were stuck standing there half-naked with your arms wrapped around your chest self-consciously while an agent pat Tom’s legs down.

“Dad said we can meet them at baggage claim,” Tom said after a few moments of silence between the two of you. “They went on without us.”

“Okay,” you squeaked back in response.

You knew it wouldn’t take long, but it still made you nervous to be alone with Tom. Sam was like a safety blanket, or a buffer between you and him and without him you were afraid it would be painfully awkward.

The woman handed you your sweatshirt back and you had to wait for Tom outside of the screening area. He joined you a minute or so later.

“They find any dirt on you?” you asked from where you were leaning against the wall across from the exit.

“Nope, you?”

“Yeah, actually I’m in custody right now. Can’t believe you missed the handcuffs.”

“Man, what’d they get you for?”

“Identity theft,” you sighed.

“Damn, that’s a bummer,” Tom replied, false sympathy rolling off his words.

He cocked his head in the direction the rest of his family had went, indicating that you should get going, and held out a hand to pull you upright. You took it hesitantly and let him help you.

“I was actually hoping you could bail me out?” you went on, continuing with the bit.

Tom made a sound through his teeth and grimaced. “I’m kinda broke right now.”

“Aren’t you an actor?”

“Sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“No, you’re definitely the guy!”

“You’re thinking of Tom Hiddleston,” he insisted.

“Remember that IOU you gave me? I’m cashing it in now.”

“That’s not how it works!”

You laughed. “No, but if I ever actually get arrested I’m using my IOU to get you to bail me out of jail.”

“I don’t think that a kiss and getting bailed out of prison are comparable, but I didn’t put any conditions on that postcard, did I?”

“Nope!” You smiled happily.

“Well that’s on me, so...”

You took the shuttle together to the other side of the airport where the rest of the Hollands were waiting and finally found them with all of your luggage at the furthest carousel from the entrance.

“It’s about time!” Harry yelled over the crowd as soon as he saw you.

Sam grinned when he saw you and you couldn’t help but grin back. He wrapped an arm around you instinctively and you relaxed into his shoulder, relieved to be with him again. It hadn’t dawned on you until that moment just how attached you were, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because the other Hollands were all looking at you expectantly.

“Did everything go okay?” Nikki asked.

Tom nodded. “They made y/n strip, but it was uneventful otherwise.”

You pursed your lips, cheeks burning. “It was just my sweatshirt!” you hissed to Sam.

“Yeah, but you never wear anything under your sweatshirts!” Sam hissed back.

“I had a bra on this time.”

“Oh, so it was just another night at the bar for you?” You wrestled yourself out of Sam’s grasp at that and glared. “Am I wrong?”

Sam’s dad cut in before you could respond. He had a habit of calling “family meetings” in the middle of public spaces to finalize plans and get everybody on the same page, which was always an experience.

“Alright, gather up, gang!” he said, beckoning you all closer. “So we’ll be staying at... this hotel,” he explained and turned his phone around to show you the name of it. “And the thing is, we have two rooms to share between the six of us. One for your mother and I, and another for you four.”

“What?” Sam asked. “You’re going to make us stay with them?”

“I thought we were getting three rooms like every other time,” Tom chimed in.

“We were meant to, but I made a mistake when booking it,” Dom clarified.

“How?”

“The entire website was in Japanese, Sam. I don’t know Japanese!”

“Dad, Google has a translate webpage option!” Harry groaned.

“Well no one told me that while I was booking this entire trip by myself!”

You traded a look with Tom, who looked just as panicked as you felt. But it would only be for a week. You would find a way to manage. You didn’t really have any other option.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Sam tried, forcing a smile.

“That’s the spirit!” Dom cheered. “We’ll make it work.”

sorry she’s short this week :( but lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

#bnha 316 #hawks #takami keigo #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #manifesting 317 opening with a slightly modified version of my previous fantasy scenario lmao #'WHADDYA MEAN THEY BLEW UP THE NERD'#that's *his* job #sorry lol I kid I kid

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