Tumgik
#it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to
detransraichu · 22 days
Text
broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol
also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies
#lay text#i'm being mean and petty ugh#my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped#it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to#also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me#i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years#but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally#feels so fucking infantilizing#now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke#that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along#i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me#it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!!#and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates#i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/#and now they have so much luck in their love life#and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side#where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g#i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!!#so much love to give#now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/#trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad#but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this#it just sucks#if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3
7 notes · View notes