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#tw: going against jedi code
maybe-your-left · 2 years
Note
BITCH PICTURE THIS.
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Young Jedi Benji baby and you, always sneaking off and hiding your relationship. There’s sexual tension every time you sneak away to smooch. Any hidden place, sneaking into each other’s rooms after dark. Just think - HEAVY PETTING.
Do with this information what you will👀
did i write this to set up for a commander-ren canonverse fic?
yes.
do i have time to add another fic to my agenda?
no.
am i going to do it anyway?
yes.
enjoy :)
______
High Chosen
jedi Ben Solo x jedi Female Reader
kylo ren x female reader
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some music for the mood: https://youtu.be/pbyC8wYyoBs
There are moments. 
Moments, where everything is at peace. When you can sit down and breathe for the very first time, and clear every thought inside your brain. As it bounced around your skull, not punishing it for being there. 
Just acknowledging and moving along. 
Master Luke loves these moments. 
Sends you to different areas of the island, to soak up the sun, breathe in the sea air. Listen to a porg chirp at its family, where you can feel the universe become whole. 
There is no darkness, no voices, no threats or danger, there is only you. 
He tells you about it every morning when you rise with the sun and join on the morning hike. Bracing yourself against the harsh elements of the world around you, unable to ask for help. Jedis are not supposed to need it-no attachments-be free from the bonds of humanity. 
But when you sit, on your slab of rock, smoothed from months of perching upon it. You don’t feel the connection with nature or hear the songs of birds or the cries of people who need your help. 
You see a single image, a bright light. The sun, eclipsed by a shadow, standing tall, carved out by ages before it. Knowing of the heritage on its broad shoulders, every day it gets closer and closer until you can see its fingertips almost touch… 
“That’ll be all for today, young padawans,” Master luke’s voice breaks the connection, sending a sharp pain to throb at the base of your skull. Only soothed by the touch of another-forbidden. 
You slowly stand, brushing off the dust that accumulated while you were meditating. Seeing the others groaning, a few laughing how their backs hurt from sitting so straight. 
Years ago, you would’ve agreed, the rigidness of the body has to be as dedicated as the mind. When you aren’t committed, nothing will change. 
But that was before. 
Before him. 
“Join me.” 
“Please.” 
—— 3 years ago ——- 
“Ben!” 
You squealed from the shores, ripping off your outer layers so you could run into the ocean. Giggling as the winds whipped your hair away from your face, freezing from head to toe as you stepped into the sharp sea. 
There was nothing like it, every Sunday you would run down the edge of the island. Almost falling on your face down the cliff, plummet to your doom. But you’d catch yourself, on something each time. Brought to you by your noble friend, caretaker, Ben. 
He had explained to you a thousand times before how you should be careful. Not run away from the group, even if it was the jedis rest day, you had to wake up!
You squealed from the waves, arms flailing in the salty air at the beach where Ben stood. Arms crossed and a scowl on his face, there were days where it would fade. 
Maybe even a dimple of a smile would appear, watching the waves crash over you before rushing to the shoreline. Desperate to catch your breath before staring at the sun rising, “Brisk today, isn’t it?” 
And Ben would always nod, and say, “Just like before.” 
But this morning he changed the routine, stripping on the beach, down to his tunic, you stared with wide eyes as the wraps on his forearms were bared to you and all the gods above. 
You’d never seen him without layers of beige you all were forced to wear, unable to see the pale flesh that lived beneath. Littered with constellations of freckles and moles, you stood solid against the current whipping around your shoulders. 
Feeling the force thrum through the air as he approached. Ben's jaw was clenched tight, glaring at the sky as you would usually. 
“Why do you do this!?” 
You stared at his throat bob as he hissed out pained breath after breath, no longer feeling the chill nip of the wintery waves but a warmth in your cheeks. 
Spreading down your chest, and deep into your soul. 
Your voice was small, barely a whisper over the ocean who demanded to be heard. 
“It reminds me that I’m alive.“ 
——— 
Every week, Ben joins you in the waves. 
Shows you new tricks, recently he’s been throwing balls of water at the back of your head. When you whine about not wanting to get your face wet, the showers were sparse and the ocean wasn’t as cleansing as one would imagine. 
You were hiding behind a large boulder, waiting in the waves for Ben to rush out and find you. Mind focused on creating a wave to finally knock him over so you could win your little game, be on top for once! 
Ben was silent, slowly moving. You could practically see it, the water lapping across his abdomen. Turning red from the piercing cold of the waves-but he never shivered. Or complained after the first time, so neither did you, instead engulfed by his presence. 
You scrunched into yourself more, seeing his hand reach out past the boulder. 
Reaching towards the dark gray abyss of clouds that Master Luke had warned was coming. To hide in your huts until it was safe, there was no changing mother nature's course. 
You watch carefully, feeling the force flow through his legs. Grounded at the bottom and up towards his finger tips. Crackling with life, how you wished you were as strong as him. 
But no one would surpass Ben-he was born to be great. 
You wanted to reach out, maybe feel some of the power he exuded when suddenly the sky cracked. Ben's hand shot towards you in a rush of rain and waves over taking your feeble form. 
You were sure you blacked out, only seeing the same image over and over again. 
A cold layer of snow, blanketing something dark and red, gasping in sharp breaths while the liquid stained whoever’s soul was laid to waste there… 
“We have to hurry,” Ben's voice cut through your fogged psyche. He fumbled with your clothes, trying and failing to wrap you in your lavender robes before giving up and hauling you in his arms. 
You stared out at the sea, watching the swirling vortex of rain contort into a face. Riddled with scars and screaming for whoever could hear. 
And the sharp pain was back, as Ben kicked through the small door of your hut. 
Laying you down on your cot, you finally focused on him. His face scrunched in fear, scared, blinking wildly while he tried to brush the bits of sand and sea that stuck. 
You tried to speak, overcome with the emotion of seeing him. Needing him-after so long of being friends you felt something different. That you couldn’t ever be without, and you lunged. 
Wet hands clasping onto his shivering jaw, succumbing to the most human of urges as your lips met. 
Ben froze. 
You squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to see him reject you, claiming that the jedi are not allowed this mortal feeling. They are above it-you couldn’t let it sway you to the darkness inside. 
But instead of the lecture you were sure to hear, he melted. 
A soft moan slipping through his lips as they pressed hungrily to your own. You pushed your fingers through his sandy hair, creating two knots to grab onto while your tongues licked for entrance. 
He tasted divine, like pure sin and absolution mixed into one. You felt truly at peace, scratching your nails against his scalp until he collapsed on top of you. 
Two bodies shivering from the cold, Ben leaned on his forearm, looking into your eyes for a brief moment before kissing you once again. 
You pressed your chest into his, nipples tightening through the damp fabric that separates you. His muscles tightening under the light scrape, you gasped into his mouth, “Oh, please.” 
The words barely tumbled out before you realized, a whine falling as he pulled away. Hands clasped to his own face as he stared into the lamp by your bedside. 
“No-no-no-no!” 
You watched him pace the room, talking to himself in low tones. Almost wrestling with a demon, you could feel the air charge around you, as deadly as the storm outside as it raged on inside you both. You rushed to him, without thinking you grabbed his arms. 
“It’s okay! Ben,” you gasped before you were zapped with a sharp pain. Cowering against the sidewall of your hut, cradling your hands to your chest. 
Ben blinked for a moment, both of you registering what he had done. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, shaking his hands to rid them of the poison that flowed, you watched him re approach your bedside. Leaned on his palms, “I didn’t-I didn’t mean to. It's just-we aren’t supposed to.” 
“I know,” you squeaked, trembling as you watched his pointer finger move to touch the tips of your shaking feet. The sharp pain lighter now, like a soft ember glowing in a fire. 
You looked down together, seeing his large palm engulf your ankle. Tugging you from the dark corner and flat on your back, Ben swallowed, “I should go, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
Leaving you, with only a chaste kiss on the lips that tingle throughout the storm. 
——- 
You thought about that moment over and over, turning it in your mind while you tried to sleep. 
Days went by, and no change in your routine, it was like it never happened to him. Still brooding and silent during your hikes across the mountains, through the dark waves of the island. In meditation sessions, you watched him floating above everyone else, unable to take your eyes off his scrunched face. 
But something was different, you could feel it. 
A string tied the two of you together, from the place where your chests had lightly touched, you caressed your sternum at night. Under the dim glow of the fire, you pressed into the contusion of skin and bone and took a deep breath. 
Seeing it again, that scene in the forest. 
Snowflakes cascading down, hitting your frostbitten face. You hummed as you felt it melt on your skin, blinking awake to the sight of a body laying on the ground. Shivering, hulking, a mass of muscle shrouded by darkness. 
A trail led your footsteps towards the beast, breathing rasping against the fallen snow. 
You reached out, feeling the force flow through the bond. Eternally tethered now to this thing. 
Kylo? 
Your voice whispered the word, rolled it along your tongue. Oh-yes, it tasted decadent, just like Ben's fleeting kisses. You licked your lips, moaning a little as you approached the being once more, the pain in your chest rising and rising until you were in front of it. 
You could almost see its face… 
“What are you doing?” 
Ben's words ripped you from your vision, shooting off your cot gasping for air. Like you were pulled from the dark waters at the shores of your hut. You clutched your chest, trying to keep your modesty, you’d been laying in the nude. 
Caressing your chest by yourself wasn’t something he needed to witness, draping your tunic from your waist over your heaving breasts. 
“What?” 
He moved into the dim light, the door to your hut closed behind him. Shrugging as he sat down on your cot, creaking under his weight, “What were you doing? I could hear you mumbling something?” 
Confusion painted your brow, how could he have heard you? His hut was the farthest away from yours, unless he was… “Were you spying on me, Ben?” 
His cheeks flushed, jackpot. 
“You were!” 
You squealed, leaning into his side playfully to jostle him from another mood. 
“I wasn’t-I just heard you and it seemed like you were in pain.” 
“I’m okay,” you whispered, rubbing the spot on your chest that soothed with his touch. You nuzzled your cheek into his rough shoulder. Fabric scraping only a little, it felt good to touch him again. 
Ben's cheek fell to the top of your head, a heavy sigh followed before he placed a tentative hand on your back. Bareskin under his thumb, slipping it a few times under the top hem, so soft and smooth. 
“I’m worried about us.” 
You stiffened, mind beginning to race, “Did you-you didn’t tell Luke about our…kiss?” 
His exhale took much too long, you shifted. Ready to hear his lecture, or for your mentor to burst through the door and rip you away from Ben. To never see the man next to you again, you weren’t worthy… not of a jedi or even be a jedi yourself. 
What if you were taken away? Would the pain worsen? Would the bond sever? Would you never feel this way again, only to be in deep pain through the end of days? 
“I feel it too,” Ben whispered, slipping his hand to one of your own. Unclutching it from your dressing, he brought it to his chest, “Right here.” Tapping against the sternum with your fingers folded together between his own. 
“What does it mean?” 
He kept your fingers between his own, letting the hands sag like his shoulders. You studied his profile, blinking slowly while he stared off at the powdery ground of your hut. Your swallow loud enough for your collective ears to pop, you were about to speak when his voice caught you off guard. 
“It can’t be good.” 
It was like he was speaking to himself, shaking his head before looking back at your face. You blinked with him, eyes snapping towards his rosy lips, and suddenly he was on top of you. Pressing your mouths together in a  desperate passion that caught you off guard, arms slung around his neck while his tongue quested inside you. 
Tangling in a duel, you moaned into him. Relaxing under the pressure as more of him joined your limbs on the cot, pressing your bodies together. Ben's hands came to rest on your cheeks, moving down to wrap dangerously around your throat. 
Snapping tight around the column, you felt the shaking and sweating from his palms mixing with your slickening skin. Tight-you gasped for breath, kiss bitten lips stringing together with some saliva that snapped onto your chins. You glanced down, your tunic pulled enough to expose your naked skin. 
Stiff peaks rubbing against the stringy fabric of his own, Ben looked down. Keeping his hands around your throat, he cleared his, “Oh.” 
“Ben,” you whispered, hands coming up to paw at his shoulders. 
Unknown if they were to help him get off you, fix the mistake of your nudity, or to disrobe him. 
Ben quickly sat up on his knees, thighs between your spread ones. Hands like lightning towards the sash across his chest, it shrugged forward as he divested himself. Throwing it off to the dusty floor in a poof of air. Naked skin, you'd seen it before at the shoreline, but it was so different… 
Bruised. 
Your brow furrowed, reaching out to touch the largest, “Ben, where-how did you get these?” 
“It doesn’t matter.” 
His hands landed on your shoulders, thumbs rubbing the skin once, twice, three times before moving to join at your sternum. 
Pressing at the center, “I feel you, right here.” 
You nodded, sliding your palms up the length of his arms until you mirrored his movements. Tapping the bone under your fingertips, “It usually aches.” 
“But does it now?” 
“No.” 
A deep breath. 
“Never when I’m with you.” 
Ben smirked a little, barely a movement of his lips before he moved his palms to touch the bounty of your body. Holding your breasts delicately, rolling them under his hand. You sighed in pleasure, you’d touched yourself like this in the past, just to know what it would feel like if the moment ever came. To feel the flesh bounce under another's touch-electric. 
His thumbs came down over the stiff budding of your nipples, pinching softly. 
“Oh.” 
Ben nodded, “Do you like that?” 
You mirrored his nod, letting your hands fall away from his shoulders and bounce on the bedding around your head. Lifting your chest into his touch while he pet and pinched every inch of your flesh exposed to him until he made his way to where your sheet was wrapped around your hips. 
Wiggling his fingertips between the fabric and your bareskin, you glanced towards one another. The question floating around between the both, you felt a strong pull emanate from the center of your chest. Beating harder and harder as he tugged on the fabric until it came loose from your cocoon. “Ben,” you were breathless, watching him as the ache increased. “Ben, we shouldn’t-”
“Doesn’t it hurt?” he asked without looking at you, just pulling the fabric from your center that was opening for his hungry eyes, “We could make each other feel better, like this.” 
Your head pounded with the millions of reasons as to why it was a bad idea, forbidden for you to have such a relationship. But your heart, it was beating for every touch he was giving you. Ache soothed by the balmy touch of his palms against your sensitive inner thighs. 
Angled for him to touch and play with, you gasped as his fingers found your center. Playing with the skin of your outer lips, his own opened in awe of your form. Your eyes rolled back as he touched more, rubbing his thumbs up and down on the skin as it grew slick and dewy from your core, hot to the touch. 
You gasped as his hot breath hit you, snapping down to see his face inches away. Eyes wide and bouncing around his skull while he leaned in, moaning as his hot tongue flicked out for the first taste. 
The noise that fell out of your was foreign, not a cry or a sob. But a squeak as he repeated it again and again, Ben buried his nose against your mound, blissfully taking in your essence as more dripped out from your candy center. 
Soon you were riding his face, chasing your release as he ground down. Hands roaming your body before him, squeezing and smacking at your breasts in his hold. Grasping at his silky hair between your legs while your thighs shook from the pure pleasure he was rocking you towards. 
“Be quiet,” he mumbled into your skin, kissing your innermost thigh with slippery lips, “We can’t be found.” 
“No,” you agreed, eyes squeezed shut as you urged him with your hips to continue. You were so close to something big, cresting over the edge of the hill you tried to climb every day with no one by your side. But Ben was taking you there, hand in hand, with his flickering tongue dancing between your folds and smacking inside your entrance. 
Fluttering inside you, scooping out the wetness that smeared across his chin. Oh, you cooed just as the snap in your chest seemed to break. The damp between your legs grew as your legs shook again and Ben's hand smacked around your mouth right as you were to let out a blood curdling scream into the dim light of your hut. 
Panting against his skin, you watched as he released your core, wiping his mouth against your sheet before pulling away from you. Standing in the center of your room, hands on his hips and chest breathing in deeply. 
You laid against your pillow, studying his face flash through a range of emotions before closing his eyes and exhaling through his nose. 
“I shouldn’t have done that.” 
“Ben,” you reached out towards him, hand trembling as your chest began to ache more and more the further away he stepped. “Its fine-” 
“You’re making me feel things that I know I’m not supposed to.” 
You stopped, leaning back with your hands in your lap while his eyes met yours. Different, they were different now. Rimmed with tints of gold rather than the usual blackness you could drown in, bright. 
“I have to go.” 
—------
The sky is on fire. 
Everything around you billows with smoke and ash, falling on your untainted shoulders as you run from the temple. 
Screams ringing in your ears, loud enough for you to know you’ll never live another day without remembering the pained cries. You stood in the center of the temple square, or what was left of it as the alarms rang around you. 
Staring at the flames that licked every corner of it, your friends were all trapped inside. You couldn’t get to them, forced to watch everything you’d help build burn to the ground before your very eyes. 
Your chest ached, oh, it ached as you stumbled over pieces of rubble towards the hills in the distance. You needed to get out of there, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Not until you knew, knew that he was safe. 
Ben had to be safe-he had to be. 
Tears streamed your cheeks as you thought of the immense pain never going away, tethering you and him together. Only to be soothed by the other touch-you had to find him. 
Your bare feet stung as you climbed over a fallen pillar, charred from whatever caused the mayhem to ensue. The staircase towards the heart of the temple littered with bodies that you didn’t know were dead or alive, you didn’t stop to check as the smoke became thicker and thicker. 
Coating your throat like his hands had before. 
“Ben!” you screamed out, met with nothing but the sound of the wind whipping through the skies, the sea raging on behind you. 
“Ben! Ben-please!” 
You scrambled up the stairs, running now, determined to find him. Throwing rocks and other debris out of the way with the force and your bare hands, every blank stare met with the cold realization that it wasn’t him. 
Where? 
Where could he be? 
You looked around as you made it to the center, flames all around the hall while you coughed and choked on your very last breaths. 
This was it, you’d never see him again. 
Your eyes grew tired, blinking slowly as the poison made its way into your lungs. A sound echoing around your skull as you took in the last image of your temple, footsteps approached you. 
A figure, shrouded in black, darkness coming to meet you firsthand. Devoid of all light as you scanned up the body, until it stopped at their face. 
Half covered by an unknown shadow, a gloved hand reached out for you to take. 
“Join me, please.”
And as the words rolled off their tongue, you recognized the face of your dear friend. 
“Ben?” 
_____
we love villain origin stories
<3
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6lostgirl6 · 11 months
Text
Ties That Bind Part 1
Pairing: Yandere!Anakin Skywalker x Fem Jedi!Reader
TW: General Yandere Behavior, Kidnapping, Mentions of Murder
A/N: I am very excited to be sharing another wonderful collab with the amazing person @britany1997! She has been very supportive and an absolute joy to work with! We have shared many laughs together while working on this fic! She is a very talented writer and friend and you should send her your love! She deserves it! I love you Britany! ❤️
Word Count: 2.3k
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Sweat pooled around Anakin as he sprang forward in bed, gasping in a haze of fear and anger. His head fell to his hands as he struggled to catch his breath.
Sleep had eluded him for months as every night ended the same, with visions of your corpse flashing through his tortured mind. 
Anakin discarded his blanket in frustration, grabbed your picture from his work bench, and sat on the floor to meditate. 
His brow furrowed as he attempted to squash his rage and uncertainty, to let them go and let the force fill him with the comfort he needed. 
But to let go of his emotion, would be to let go of you.
Though he mumbled to himself, ‘there is no emotion, there is peace, there is no passion, there is serenity,’ he couldn’t make himself believe that. You were his peace, you were his serenity.
He abandoned his meditation in a huff. Anakin liked to think he was a patient man, a good Jedi. Yet how could he sit back and do nothing? The visions would never stop, it was time to take matters into his own hands.
Despite his failures at meditating and stopping his mind from whirling, he was struck by a solution. He was deep in concentration, staring at the ground, your picture nestled against his uncovered chest.
The visions would undoubtedly stop if he could protect you and keep you safe from harm. What if the force hadn't been working against him after all? He was immediately filled with purpose, a fire in his eyes that couldn't ever be extinguished. He will defend you even if it means doing the unthinkable and abandoning the Jedi code. 
What other reason would there be besides protecting the one you loved the most, even if it required being selfish? Absolutely nothing was of greater significance than you, his long-time friend, whom he had been pining over for many years. The forbidden feelings he could no longer ignore. There was no greater reason, no other reason, than you. 
It was all for love. 
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Despite the summons from the Chancellor, Anakin thought the Galaxies Opera House was well worth the journey through Coruscant. Though the visions of your impending death haunted him, Squid Lake, a strange ballet performed by a team of Mon Calamari acrobats, calmed his worries and enabled his mind to focus on something far more pleasant. He wished he could take you to one as lovers rather than as companions one day once you are away from harm. The Chancellor, however, required his attention once more.
His eyes were focused ahead as he said, "The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power." The Chancellor’s face bore a deep and serious expression.
“The Sith rely on their passion for their strength; they think inwards, only about themselves.” Anakin answered back firmly, turning his head towards him as he spoke.
“And the Jedi don’t?” asked the Chancellor, turning his attention towards Anakin without wavering, his eyes never leaving his face.
“The Jedi are selfless, they only care about others.” Anakin spoke strongly, turning his attention forward, just before the Chancellor continued to speak, making Anakin's blood run cold.
“Although they prevent you from loving freely in accordance with your own desires. They would never approve of your love for your friend or the things you would do for her.” He spoke with a voice filled with stomach-churning truth. “Your companion, (Y/N).”
Anakin turned to face the older man, his eyes wide with surprise as he whispered quietly. "How did you know-"
"I know many things, Anakin." He responded. "You say they are selfless and care about others. But what would the council say if they learned of your hidden desires, your affection that you have for your fellow Jedi?" 
For once, Anakin couldn't speak because the Chancellor's words struck him deeply. His eyes were fixed on the opera playing ahead of him as he slowly sunk into his chair. He wasn't watching the event, though; instead, he was fixated on his thoughts, his visions of your approaching demise, and the possibility that the council would learn of his feelings for you. They'd shun him. He couldn't save you if they were in the way. His heart was pounding, and his mind was racing. 
It was the Chancellor's voice that silenced his racing thoughts. 
“You ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?” 
No, he would not let them stop him from loving you, from saving you.
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Your saber clashed against Anakin’s as you traded swipes back and forth. He smirked as you narrowly missed his shoulder. You stuck out your tongue in reply.
It’d probably be easier to spar with someone else, you and Anakin had trained together as Padawans, practically grown up together. He knew every move you’d make before you could even think to make it. But, unfortunately for him, you could anticipate his every move as well.
You leaped as he swiped his saber at your feet, “missed again Ani,” you teased. You noticed a strange expression cross his face when you uttered his name, but it quickly vanished.
“You’re lucky today,” he smirked, “but luck runs out.” Anakin swiped his foot behind yours, causing you to tumble onto your back, he stood over you, lightsaber pointed towards your chest. 
You groaned, “fine, I yield.”
He chuckled as he switched his weapon off and offered you his arm to pull you to your feet. “Better luck next time?” he teased. 
“Ha ha,” you mumbled humorlessly, as you allowed him to pull you up.
"Let's not pretend you didn't cheat, Ani." You continued jokingly. You leaned over to grab your fallen lightsaber when you failed to notice the unknown expression resurfacing on his face. However, it did not completely disappear, his darkening eyes fixated on your body, images racing through his mind of scenarios unsuitable for a Jedi.
He adored it when you addressed him as such. 
His expression returned to normal as you straightened up, and he had a mischievous smile on his face once again. "Never, ever underestimate your opponent." He chuckled as he extinguished his lightsaber and attached the hilt to his belt.
“Yeah, Yeah.” You replied, the smile refusing to vanish from your expression. 
"Come now; I only tease." Anakin remarked softly, staring at you with a more genuine smile, one that could compete with the sun if he so desired. Since you were both padawans, he has consistently been an enchanting man. He had a way of charming himself out of most trouble and making one's heart feel like it was going to burst.
This was a secret you kept hidden within your heart for many years, the sentiments you had for Anakin that were more than just friendship. However, according to the Jedi code and attachment regulations, you did everything you could to drive those emotions away. Your feelings got less difficult to disguise as you practiced meditation and late-night self-reflection. In addition, you knew in your core that Anakin was an exceptionally gifted Jedi and that your affections for him were never going to be reciprocated. 
“Everything alright?” 
You recovered from your subconscious, glancing at Anakin as he stood directly in front of you, his eyebrows furrowed in slight concern. 
"Yes, I'm sorry." You replied before reactivating your lightsaber, your eyes bright with purpose and your smile returning. "Let's continue."
After many long hours of trading blows, you and Anakin were huffing, your foreheads drenched with sweat. 
“Call it a night?” you asked as Anakin wiped his brow clean. 
“Mhmm,” he hummed in reply, “it’s late, want an escort back to your quarters?”
You laughed. He didn’t. 
“No Ani it’s fine,” you promised, “I think I can manage the couple of steps it takes to get there.”
“It’s on my way anyway,” he protested.
You shot him a confused expression, “on your way to where?” 
“To the archives,” he told you nonchalantly, “I needed to look into something.”
Your brow furrowed, “look into what?”
He groaned, tugging gently at your arm, “just let me escort you.”
“Fine, fine,” you reluctantly caved.
He offered you his shoulder, a smirk painted on his face. You scoffed and punched his arm instead, causing a soft laugh to fall from his lips. 
He smiled and shook his head at your stubbornness, you never made anything easy. But it didn’t matter, he’d never been one to back down from a challenge.
The walk to your quarters passed quickly as you exchanged stories with Anakin. You clutched your stomach as tears rolled down your cheeks as he told you the story of his last battle with General Grevious. Anakin had spent so much time with Obi Wan over the years, Anakin’s impression of his sarcastic banter was spot on.
“Well this is me,” you joked, gesturing to your door. Anakin nodded but didn’t move to head towards the archives. 
Your brow furrowed in confusion, “…so I’ll see you tomorrow?” 
He seemed to snap from his momentary trance, “yes of course,” Anakin hesitated, “do you need anything else before I go?”
Your head cocked to one side, “no, not really.” 
Walking you to your room had been strange in itself, this was ridiculous. “Ani…” you bit your lip, “are you ok?”
Anakin seemed taken aback by your sudden question, “of course,” he composed himself, “I better be off to the archives, I’ll see you for training in the morning.”
You watched him walk off before slipping into your room. You sat down to meditate, but you couldn’t rid your mind of Anakin’s weird behavior. Something wasn’t right. 
You sighed, coming to terms with the fact that you would not be one with the force tonight and crawling into bed. As you drifted to sleep a thought popped into your head.
Weren’t the archives in the opposite direction?
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Anakin sent a glass flying into his wall in frustration. He watched as it shattered, spraying shards onto the floor around his work desk. 
He threw his head into his hands. He could monopolize your training time, walk you to your quarters every night, wake up early to be at your door every morning.
But it would only take one second, one second where he left you alone, one second where he wasn’t right by your side, one second and you were gone forever. 
If he balled his fists any harder, his fingernails would slice the skin. He knew what he had to do. You might hate him for a moment, but he could live with that.
But if you died? There was no living if not with you.
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The Jedi Temple was destroyed.
Your fellow Jedi were slaughtered in cold blood. 
You could feel your heart frantically beating as you rushed through the halls of pure massacre, the walls forever tarnished by the horrors that had been committed. Fellow Jedi that you’ve trained with are lying on the floor lifeless, and some are in cauterized pieces. You felt like you could throw up at any moment, the hilt of your lightsaber held in your shaky grasp. You were in a state of delirium; your thoughts were filled with dueling lightsabers and people screaming in fear. However, there was one thing that was absolutely certain.
You needed to find Anakin.
‘Please, let him be safe.’ You thought to yourself as you managed to turn a corner, your other hand gripping your ribcage, your heart threatening to explode. ‘By the force, please protect him.’ 
You were anxious to find him, yet filled with dread. Your mind was racing with images of his form in pieces, his eyes lifeless without any warmth. It almost made the journey too much to bear. 
You rounded another corner that led towards the entrance of one of the temple’s many great halls. As you pushed through the entrance, a heavy feeling filled your chest, and you were completely unable to go any further. Your eyes were wide, and you could feel your breath failing you. 
As you gazed into the distance, you noticed a familiar figure, clad in a brown robe with a hood covering his face, that you had never failed to recognize, even at a distance. As the figure walked towards you, a large group of clone soldiers followed behind him, weapons drawn. In his hand was his own lightsaber, which he clutched tightly in his grasp.
Anakin.
"Ani!” You cried, disengaging your lightsaber and rushing towards him with tears in your eyes, prepared and ready to meet him with a sense of relief. 
You threw your arms around him, tears rolling down your face as you sobbed. He returned your embrace, arms wrapping around the small of your back, pulling you into his chest.
“Ani,” you muttered between sobs, “I’m so glad you’re ok, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
He tightened his grip on your waist, holding you close, “I know what you mean…”
You sniffled as you tried to gather yourself, “Anakin, so many lives…” you hiccuped, “what happened.”
“Only what needed to.”
“What?” you exclaimed as you looked up to meet his eyes. 
The sight of his blood stained face made you gasp. No. This wasn’t the Anakin you knew. This couldn’t be happening.
But it was. The man you’d carried a torch for all these years, your best friend and confidant, stood before you, clothed in the blood of your friends.
You pushed against his chest, trying to escape from his grasp but he refused to let you go. He held you tightly against him with one arm, using his other hand to brush hair from your face affectionately. A gesture that once would have made you blush now filled you with malice.
“I know you don’t understand now, but you will my love,” he whispered, “now sleep.”
“Anakin…no…” you fought a losing battle to keep your eyes open. You were strong in the force, but Anakin was stronger.
Your head lulled to the side as you fell asleep in his arms.
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We Might Just Get Away With This 
Hidden feelings do nothing but build tension, and when Y/n is almost lost, Obi-wan finds that his passion can no longer be contained.
obi-wan kenobi x jedi! reader 
she/her pronouns 
TW: mentions of violence, choking, secret relationship, anxious feelings, the tiniest bit of angst, it gets a little spicy but there’s no smut. 
A/N: This is set between AOTC and ROTS. Also! I watched the first two episodes of Kenobi and I am simping respectfully
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Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but after a particularly tense encounter, two jedi aren’t sure they can continue to uphold the code. 
———————————————————————
It was stupid, and quite possibly the worst thing that Y/n ever could’ve done. 
She was a jedi, and so was he; Jedi don’t fall in love. 
Nevertheless, here she was, tossing and turning in her bed over the man who had singlehandedly claimed her heart. It wasn’t a recent development, Y/n had been growing attached to Obi-wan since they were padawans, but for a long time she had denied her feelings over and over again. Recently, however, it had been becoming more and more difficult. 
It was entirely Y/n’s fault really; Obi-wan was not a flirtatious man, and he was respectful almost to a fault. But whenever he was close, or he made contact with Y/n, or even when he just looked at her, it made her heart race. It wasn’t like Y/n could avoid him (though she wouldn’t really want to) because the Jedi assigned the two of them on every single mission together. Even when they were at the temple, Obi-wan and Y/n meditated together, trained together, sat next to the other on the council, and even ate together. To the entire world, the two were the best of friends, but every moment Y/n felt herself falling deeper and deeper into love with Obi-wan. 
It was fruitless and futile; Kenobi was practically the poster child of the Jedi having adopted next to none of his late master’s rebellious ways. He was a perfect jedi, acting in accordance with the code and doing his best to help his unruly padawan and friend do the same. Sometimes Y/n found herself envying Anakin and Padme, who despite being very prominent people, were happily married and carrying on their secret relationship. Y/n’s lips were sealed, but sometimes she wanted to say to Obi-wan, “If they can do it, why can’t we?” But Obi-wan was the Sun and Anakin was the moon, and there was no way the former would ever do something so completely out of line and crazy.
Despite her ever growing affections, Y/n had managed to keep them relatively under control; until today. Obi-wan and Y/n had been assigned to go to a Republic planet and investigate rumors of Sith terrorizing the locals. Everything seemed routine and nothing out of order, and there appeared to be no signs of actual Sith. Just as the pair were returning to their ship, however, they were ambushed. 
Blaster fire hit the door as Y/n reached for the panel, and immediately she turned in sync with Obi-wan as they ignited their lightsabers. Blocking the blasts, Y/n took to the right side of the group, throwing the main firer against a nearby tree. After taking care of the first couple of attackers, the rest of the group ran off, clearly seeing that attacking a jedi was not as easy as they had thought. Y/n was about to see if Obi-wan needed help, when suddenly a harsh strike to her wrist made Y/n drop her lightsaber. Turning quickly, Y/n didn’t have time to react as a large hand grabbed her neck and squeezed. Y/n gasped, the pressuring crushing her windpipe and making it hard to breathe; terrified and not thinking clearly, her hands clawed at her attacker, desperate to breathe again. 
A gasp escaped the attacker as a lightsaber blade went through his sternum, the blue light reflecting on his contorted face. With a push, Y/n ripped his hands from off her neck, gasping to fill her lungs with air as she watched him fall to the ground. Looking to her savior,  Y/n saw Obi-wan; his blue eyes were dark, and there was an indiscernible look that Y/n had never seen in her friend before. 
“Are you alright?” Obi-wan’s voice was low as he stepped close to Y/n, and if she hadn’t been so close to dying she might’ve swooned. 
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Swallowing hard, Y/n froze as Obi-wan’s hands reached out to her. His fingers softly moved along her neck, gently brushing over where bruises would surely eventually form. He was so close that Y/n could see every detail;  his forehead was furrowed in concentration, and there was a faint scar above his eyebrow, evidence from a previous battle. Y/n was sure Obi-wan could hear her heart beating loudly inside her chest; despite the pain in her throat, she found herself longing to succumb to Obi-wan’s touch. The energy between their two bodies was like lightning, and the tension was palpable in the air. 
Then suddenly, Obi-wan dropped his hands and turned around, walking into the ship. Y/n’s chest rose and fell, a rollercoaster of emotions rushing over her. Trying to clear her mind, Y/n retrieved her lightsaber and followed after Obi-wan. The two said nothing during the entire journey back, and Obi-wan had refused to look at Y/n during their debriefing. He had proceeded to make himself scarce for the rest of the day, and now Y/n found herself pining over Obi-wan as she sat alone in the darkened glow of her nighttime lamp. 
A soft knock on the door interrupted Y/n’s racing train of thoughts, and it was so quiet that she thought she had imagined it. Yet there it was again, so very gentle but still there. Getting up, Y/n opened the door, only for it to reveal a very disheveled Obi-wan. His hair was out of place, and he was dressed in loose black pants and a v-neck shirt. Somehow Obi-wan managed to look as gorgeous as ever, but Y/n tried to remain focused on why he was at her room in the middle of the night. Y/n stepped to the side to allow Obi-wan to enter the room. He cautiously entered, walking straight back until he reached the window. Y/n shut the door behind him, and again the tension from earlier returned. Y/n remained quiet, waiting for her late-night visitor to say something. 
Obi-wan turned, and once again Y/n saw that dark look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again. Taking a deep breath in, Obi-wan was about to say something, only for him to was again remain silent. Looking at the ground, he crossed his arms over his chest. 
“How are you feeling?” 
That was it, the most basic question in the galaxy. Deciding to also ignore whatever the heck was going on, Y/n went with the casual conversation. “A little sore, but I’m alive so I can’t complain.” Nervously she laughed, trying to lighten the conversation. 
Obi-wan nodded, but is was obvious his mind wasn’t really there. 
“Is everything al-” 
“I’m sorry.” 
Y/n was taken aback by the abrupt apology. “Excuse me?”
Anxiously Obi-wan ran a hand through his hair. “I should’ve been there, I should have been more prepared, none of this should’ve happened.” 
“Hey hey hey, stop that.” Y/n walked closer to the distressed man and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them as she tried to sooth him. “There was nothing more you could’ve done, it was a surprise for both of us. What matters is we made it out okay.” 
“But you’re not okay, your neck-” 
“Like I said, I’m still alive; and in this line of work, that's more than I can ask for. You saved me, and I thank you for that.” 
“He touched you.” 
Y/n shook her head, trying to understand. “What?”
Obi-wan stepped forward, his body so close that Y/n could feel the heat radiating off of it. “No one is allowed to touch you.”
Obi-wan felt like he was loosing it, barely able to concentrate when Y/n was so close. He internally struggled, trying hard to keep his gaze on her eyes when her top’s strap was falling off her shoulder and the neckline followed the curve of her breasts. Obi-wan knew he had no right, but everything about Y/n drove him crazy. She was never not the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, and every day he had slowly fallen more and more in love with her. Obi-wan had felt absolutely feral when he saw that man’s hands around Y/n’s neck, almost taking away the most precious thing to Obi-wan. It was wrong, oh it was so wrong, but after today Obi-wan didn’t care. 
“Do you know how much I have suffered because of you?” 
Y/n blinked rapidly, trying to understand what Obi-wan was saying. “I have never meant to caused you pain, Obi-wan. You are my dearest friend and-” 
“Don’t say that.” Obi-wan’s chest rose and fell rapidly, and he looked positively heartbroken. “It has never been your fault, it’s me, I have behaved atrociously, oh maker.” Running a hand over his face, Obi-wan desperately tried to compose himself. He knew he wasn’t saying it right, he knew he was making a mess of things, but he found himself at a loss for words. 
When his gaze returned to Y/n’s, Obi-wan found nothing but concern and adoration in her eyes. Gather his courage, he softly spoke in a rush. “It is I who should be apologizing. You have given me nothing but the greatest of friendships, and I have allowed my personal feelings to overcome logic. I have not only compromised myself, but also you, especially here tonight. For too long I have tried to contain my emotions, to snuff them out, but instead they have consumed every part of me. When I realized how close I was to losing you today, I became acutely aware of the fact that I could be stuck with my silence forevermore. It is deeply unfair, but I ask for your patience as I unburden myself of these innermost feelings. I expect no return, but they must be put out in the open or else I fear I shall die from them.” 
Anxiously Obi-wan searched Y/n’s face for any sign of discomfort or repulsion, but she seemed almost welcoming to his intentions. Taking this as a sign to continue, Obi-wan proceeded with his speech.
“For as long as I can remember Y/n, you have been my greatest friend; somewhere along the way, however, my feelings for you shifted from platonic to romantic. Despite my best intentions, I continue to fall in love with you every day. You are absolutely perfect in my eyes, and indeed you are the most brilliant, intelligent, caring, and dare I say beautiful person I have ever met. There is no where that feels more like home than you, and I do not think all the spice users in the galaxy could be more addicted than I am to you. I would give up the sun for your laughter and my own life for your happiness. Every moment I spend with you is more incredible than the last, and every day I must be apart from you is complete agony. You are the object of all my desires and the person I wish to devote myself completely to. Our code would have me cut you out of my life, but never before have I felt more right than by your side. If you said the word, I would leave the order right now and never look back.”
Here Obi-wan took a deep breath, overcome with the strength of his own feelings. “If any of my words or affections have been offensive to you, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.  If my feelings have repulsed you, say the word and I will leave you at once, and never again will I discomfort you as I have tonight. I only ask that you put me out of my agony and make your own feelings clear now.” 
While Y/n had remained silent during the entirety of Obi-wan’s speech, inside she felt her heart swell and her body flood with joy. The very affections that he was now professing was the same that Y/n had harbored for so long. 
With tears threatening to spill over, Y/n smiled at Obi-wan. “I have loved you from the very first day Obi-wan, and I do not think I could ever stop loving you.” 
A smile grew on Obi-wan’s face, and he practically beamed with joy. Taking Y/n in his arms, he spun her around and around until they were both laughing. Setting her back down, he kept his arms around her waist and just took her face in. Y/n slid her hands up from Obi-wan’s neck to his cheeks, holding his face between her palms. Unsure of who leaned in first, their lips connected, and immediately sparks ignited within their souls. Softly and gently they kissed, neither having had this contact with another person before. Carefully they explored the sensation, enjoying the feeling of their lips touching.
 Obi-wan pulled away, looking over Y/n to see if this was okay. Gently she brushed his nose with her’s, letting him know that she was fine with the direction this was taking. 
Suddenly Obi-wan’s hands slid down from Y/n’s waist to her thighs, and he pulled at them. Following his direction, Y/n jumped and wrapped her legs around Obi-wan’s torso, her arms wrapping around his neck. Once again Obi-wan pressed his lips to Y/n’s, this time more assured and confident in his actions. This time, there was no hesitation or caution; over and over Obi-wan kissed Y/n, this time their mouths moving together in tandem. Caught up in the sensation, Obi-wan walked forward until Y/n’s back hit the wall. She gasped at the contact, but she quickly reconnected her lips to Obi-wan’s. 
His fingers dug into Y/n’s thighs, gripping onto the them tightly without hurting her. She was wearing sleep shorts, and Obi-wan enjoyed feeling the texture of her skin as his fingers splayed over her thighs. His touch sent goosebumps along Y/n’s skin, the sensation of the skin to skin contact thrilling her. 
Obi-wan’s lips left Y/n’s, moving to press kisses all over her face; first her cheek, then brushing along her nose, to her eye, to the corner of her mouth, and then Obi-wan trailed his lips along Y/n’s jaw, pressing kisses all the way down to her chin and then up the other side. Y/n’s back arched at the contact, her head tilting back to give easier access.
For a moment Obi-wan pulled away, his lidded eyes looking over the woman he loved. Gently he guided her legs back to the ground, and he let her go with a smirk. As he backed away, Y/n felt a little bit of a fire and boldness within her chest; moving towards him, she pressed her palm against Obi-wan’s chest and gave him a gentle push. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, buckling and forcing him to sit. Climbing on top of him, Y/n straddled his hips as it was her turn to tease him. Carefully she hovered her lips over his own, so close yet not quite touching. Obi-wan made a noise and tried to claim her lips, but Y/n moved back just in time. She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain the smile that was growing. 
Y/n softly squealed as she felt Obi-wan grab onto her hips, digging his fingers into the soft skin as he pulled her impossibly closer. Her cry was cut short as he pressed his lips to hers; sighing deeply, the two relaxed into the touch, enjoying having the other so close. 
Suddenly Obi-wan fell backwards, pulling Y/n down with him. Laughing, she curled up into his side, head resting on his chest. Obi-wan’s fingers ran over her hip, tracing invisible patterns on the cloth covering them. Y/n’s hand clutched onto his shirt, feeling the fabric beneath her touch. 
“I’ve just made your life a whole lot harder you know.” 
Rolling her eyes, Y/n huffed as she propped up onto her elbow. “My life was hard enough trying to not be in love with you, I hardly think keeping a secret relationship with you will be any harder.” 
Obi-wan smiled at Y/n’s declaration, but still his eyebrows pulled together in concern. “We interact with some powerful jedi every day, if they sense any indication of our affections, we could be in some serious trouble.” 
“Then we’ll figure it out together. My life has been infinitely better since knowing you, and I can only imagine it will get better now that I get to love you too.”
Obi-wan’s smile grew as he felt his beloved’s lips press a kiss to his bearded cheek, and he sighed in contentment as he allowed himself to relax into her mattress. “If Anakin ever finds out about us, I’ll never hear the end of it.” 
“About that......how do you feel about double dates?” 
“WHAT-”
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mlmxreader · 2 years
Text
Attached | Obi Wan Kenobi x m!reader
Anonymous asked: Don't fucking tease me- obi wan x male reader
summary: Obi Wan is doing his best to try and repeal the part of the Jedi Code that forbids attachment, but with a boyfriend who doesn't want false hope, it's hard to remain optimistic.
tws: swearing
You had been at Obi Wan's side for longer than you cared to think, having known him since he was a Padawan, it was difficult to leave him, even more difficult when he rose in the ranks of the Jedi; you were his dirty little secret, the boyfriend he could never tell anyone about, and although he promised you that things would be different, that you just had to trust him and to believe that things would be different, that time never came. Nothing was changing in the Jedi rules just for you and Obi Wan. Nothing ever would change for you.
While he was away at meetings with other Jedi, you would go and see old friends and you would dutifully return to his quarters, waiting for him as if he was the only person in the world; he walked in, and he hung his robe up, telling you about what was said and when.
"They're revising the code," he said sweetly, so full of false hope. "Perhaps this will finally be the time that they change that awful rule about attachments."
You scoffed as you rolled your eyes, lying on your back on the bed as you watched him go about the quarters to make sure that they weren't compromised. "Please, don't fucking tease me. You know as well as I do that they'll never change that. You could fucking slaughter the lot and hold a blaster to the heads of the next lot and they'll never change it."
Obi Wan frowned as he looked at you, sighing heavily as he tried not to agree; of course he knew that the change wouldn't come, the Jedi were too busy worrying about more mundane issues within the code to bother to update that part. But he held hope, he held so much fucking hope. "Perhaps. But they might this time."
"Obi Wan, I love you more than anything," you told him. "But who the fuck are you trying to kid here? We're both well aware that they'll never change that shit. You fucking know that."
He shook his head, fixing himself a drink before he dared to sit beside you, his hand on your thigh as he bit at the inside of his lip. "One day, things will be different. We'll be able to be together - officially. Without worry."
You shook your head, stealing a swig from his drink. "C'mon, I'm always gonna be your dirty little secret. I'm the boyfriend you can't take home. It'll always be like that."
"I don't think it will," he said softly. "I'm trying to get it sorted, I really am. I'm working as hard as I can-"
"But the green cunt won't let you?" You guessed with a raised brow, and when he nodded, you scoffed. "Of fucking course. It's always that bitch... do I take it that Mace Windu is the only one on your side again?"
"He's on my side, yes," Obi Wan agreed, running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, well, he's always had common sense," you mused. "He's always been alright... that green cunt, though-"
"Would you please call him Yoda?" He pleaded, and when you shook your head, he laughed softly. "One day, that mouth of yours will get us both into trouble."
You dared to grin as you shrugged. "But you love it."
"Against my better judgement," he sighed, kicking off his boots and getting on the bed, letting you put your head on his chest as he gently ran his hand up and down your back. "We will be alright, though. Things will change. I know they will."
You cleared your throat, daring to look up at him. "I dunno... but then again, you've always been the hopeful one."
"So you will have faith in me?" He asked.
You thought about it for a moment; you had every reason to doubt his hope, but to doubt him... that was different. You could never doubt him. "I always do, just... just don't try and give me false hope about this."
"I'll try not to," Obi Wan said quietly. "You'll be able to stay for the next few nights, though... it's only going to me and Mace Windu for the next few days - the others are going on various diplomatic missions, and we chose to stay behind."
You relaxed a little as you nodded. "So we won't need to hide?"
"Not as much," he said. "Not nearly as much."
if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it.
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vintage-marina · 2 years
Text
In best and in worst pt. 1 Darth Vader x f!reader (snippet)
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female jedi reader
summary: After Order 66, the newly wed Jedi survives the massacre and joins the Rebellion. Both of them knowing that they fight for a different cause but don't want to hurt eachother, what will happen when the reader is injured?
Angst with a bit of fluff, BITTERsweet ending
THIS IS JUST A SNIPPET, the rest of the chapter i'm still working on :)
tw/cw: blood, violence, fighting
Please comment what your thoughts are about this, i really like to read them!
You didn't know but somehow that day, the day you saw Darth Vader for the first time was the day you knew Anakin Skywalker was still alive.
Your husband.
Hunched over a wounded civillian you were in a clammy cave, eyes darting everywhere every few seconds. Underneath your green coloured robes, you felt your light saber pressing against your hip. It's presence gave you comfort and kept you grounded.
A shaky breath.
Trembling hands.
Raw bitten lips.
The silence was deafening, no person dared to speak. Scared that they knew where they were. Three years of hiding vanished in vain, only the inevitable death was there.
The odds weren't in your favour this time and surely the stars weren't alligned.
"Is this how the great Jedi Knight Y/N would fall?" You mused to yourself. "Hidden in a cave?"
Shaking the thoughts from your mind, you focused again. What does it matter if the people know what you were, you and your group got yourself and the civilians in trouble. The least you could do is help them, it's your duty to help the people in need.
Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, only the Force itself was that you felt. It swirled all around you, it hugged you like a mother would do to her child. Hovering your hand above the blaster shot, you slowly but steady healed the wound. You hadn't used the Force during your time as a refugee, but now with all the wounded you had too.
The muffling sounds from the battle became so much harder, you could hear the cries from the fallen and the heavy footsteps. If only there were more Rebellions with you in the cave! Then.. Then.. Then maybe you could find a way out!
But no, they were all needed in the battle and you begged and argued to join too, but they were out for Jedi and so you needed to lay low. Somehow they knew there was a Jedi by this Rebellion group and so they fought colder.
It was funny, this was almost the exact scenario when you were almost killed during Order 66.
No.
Don't think about that.
Please.
You balled your fist, dugging your nails in your hands but you let go when you almost drew blood. "Stupid, how can I think about that?" You stared right in the wide open brown eyes from the little girl who you helped. Shaking off your emotions you gave a playful wink and brought your indexfinger to your mouth, her green braids flew in her face while nodding furiously.
You knew you were screwed, the moment you stepped in the cave. The moment you saw the hopelessness and the fear on their faces, you knew that you would do whatever it takes to help them. The Jedi Code never left your system. Running away, wasn't an option. You could only hope that they would never find you, hope that they wouldn't kill your fellow Rebellions.
You treated the next patient, an eldery man who was in his eighties. His lip was busted and he sported a black eye with a broken cheekbone.
Now wasn't the time to dwell on the past, but sometimes humans couldn't help but think about it. Everything was so simple back then, before the genocide of the Jedi, before the extermination of your culture. Honour the Code and bring peace to the Galaxy, that was it.
Then you felt it.
The slightest change in the Force made your blood crawl, you firmly placed your hand on your lightsaber and waited in suspense. Out of the corners of your eye you saw the crimson light flickering against the darkness from the cave. You stopped the treatment of the old man, dropping your hands at your side and anxiously gripping your clothing. With light footsteps you speedwalked to the end of the cave, in the hope that he wouldn't see you.
He is coming.
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stolen-pen-name23 · 3 years
Note
23 with hurt Obi-Wan and a comforter of your choosing, please!
Hi Willow!! Thanks so much for the prompt and sorry it took so long! From these prompts // prompts now closed
TW: panic attacks/anxiety
Here ya go!
---
One thing that makes Obi-Wan Kenobi the most utterly infuriating Master in the Jedi Order is that he so often does not mean what he says and he does not say what he means.
It took some time for Anakin to grow accustomed to Obi-Wan’s softening or, oftentimes, denial of his own feelings and emotions. But over the years, Anakin learned that when Obi-Wan starts rubbing at his eyes every few minutes, it means he is tired. He learned that when Obi-Wan says “I’m just tired” it means that he is sad. When he says “I’m fine,” it means he is anything but.
And when he says “I’m a little frustrated,” it means he is one snide comment away from dragging Anakin’s sorry ass to Coruscant’s highest tower and pushing him clean off the balcony.
So when Obi-Wan says “something isn’t right,” and his voice lacks the unwavering strength he always places at the forefront, Anakin can’t help but feel that the sky is about to fall from its rightful place in the heavens.
Unused to this level of candor coming from his former Master, Anakin clutches the commlink in his hand so tight he is only a few pounds of pressure away from crushing it in his grasp.
“What do you mean something isn’t right? Are you hurt?”
“Anakin, I– I can’t breathe.”
His voice is feathery. Unsure.
Anakin’s alarm spikes and he takes off towards Obi-Wan’s quarters.
“Master, I’m on my way,” Anakin says, the thundering of his footsteps adding audible truth to his reassurances.
Anakin hears Obi-Wan’s shuddering breaths crackling over his comm and quickens his pace.
“Hey, just stay with me, Master. Talk to me.”
“Can’t,” Obi-Wan says.
“Yes, you can. I’m almost there,” Anakin repeats.
Despite the rapid beat of his heart, Anakin’s hands are steady as he punches in the code to Obi-Wan’s quarters.
Anakin feels him before he sees him. The thick haze of anxiety threatens to suffocate the room, and Anakin can feel the ghosts of pain in his own chest.
“Master?” he calls out, sharp eyes scanning the room for Obi-Wan. He finds him, but the state he finds him in is unusual, to say the least.
Anakin kneels beside where Obi-Wan sits, huddled in the corner of his kitchen. He’s not looking at Anakin. He’s not looking at anything. His eyes are fixed on nothing but the opposite wall, even when Anakin positions himself in front of his unending gaze.
“Master?” he says softly, searching for a hidden wound or injury. “Are you hurt?”
Obi-Wan shakes his head no.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Feel like I’m dying,” Obi-Wan whispers, and all at once the phantom pain in Anakin’s chest makes sense and he realizes that while Obi-Wan is not hurt in the traditional sense of the word, he is still hurting.
“It feels that way,” Anakin says softly. “It feels that way, but you aren’t, I promise.”
“I know, I know,” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin can see the logical side of his former Master fighting to break through the very primal, but very real fear and panic he is feeling.
“Just breathe alright? Breathe with me and you’ll be okay.”
Obi-Wan nods and obeys, following Anakin’s breathing pattern.
The world around them is quiet, save the white noise of speeder traffic outside the windows. Ragged breaths turn even and steady. Dilated eyes sharpen. The phantom pain in Anakin’s chest lessens, but tendrils of dread still wrap their inky claws around his lungs.
It will have to do for now.
Anakin stands up and locates a glass. He fills it with cool water and hands it to Obi-Wan.
“Drink this. Slowly,” Anakin says, kneeling beside Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan nods and takes small sips from the offered glass. His breathing evens and his eyes clear up.
“Feeling better?”
“I don’t think I’m going to die anymore if that is what you’re asking,” Obi-Wan says dryly. He scrubs at his eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Master, it’s the middle of the night,” Anakin says. “Did you have a nightmare?”
Obi-Wan looks away and squeezes his eyes shut.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan says. “You didn’t need to come here over a stupid dream. It was nothing… just–”
“Stop,” Anakin says. “Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” Obi-Wan says innocently as if he does not know exactly what he is doing.
“Pretending,” Anakin says. “You’re always pretending you’re okay. Like you don’t need anyone. Like you don’t need…” He stops himself before he can finish his sentence, because, in truth, Anakin doesn’t actually know if Obi-Wan needs him as much as Anakin does. He’s not sure he wants to find out this way. “Just stop pretending,” he finally whispers, resigned.
Obi-Wan stutters and Anakin can’t help but think what an ironic thing it is for the fabled Negotiator to be at a loss for words.
“I’m not pretending,” he finally says.
“Then you are lying to yourself,” Anakin says. “The war affects you as much as it affects everyone else. You’ve got too much pride to admit it.”
Obi-Wan rests his forehead on his knees and Anakin starts to think that maybe he’s being too harsh too soon after Obi-Wan’s panic attack, but the words inside of him are like a tightly coiled snake and he can’t stop them from unleashing their venom.
“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan says finally. “Of course it affects me. Tonight’s episode is pretty damning evidence against me.” He blinks quickly and Anakin sees that he is blinking back tears. “It affects me, though I cannot afford to let it.”
“Is it so wrong for it to affect you?”
“Yes, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says sharply. “It is.”
“Why?”
“Too many people depend on me – depend on us – to stay strong in the fight. I make the wrong call? Men die. I slip up? Systems fall. We have everything to lose, Anakin. And I don’t want to be the one who loses it.”
Panic of his own lances through Anakin’s chest. How many times had a bad call of his led to the deaths of his men? Civilians?
Too many.
They haunted him at night just as they haunt Obi-Wan now.
Obi-Wan sighs. “Forgive me, Anakin. I did not mean to burden you with this.” Obi-Wan clambers to his feet and extends a hand down to Anakin who accepts it. “As you said, it’s the middle of the night. You should go to bed.”
“I can stay.”
“No. I can sense how tired you are. Go back to your quarters. You deserve your rest.”
Anakin wants to argue, but he finds he lacks the energy.
“Alright. Are you sure you’re okay?” Anakin asks wearily.
“I’m fine,” Obi-Wan says.
But Anakin knows better than that.
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kyberconfessions · 3 years
Text
No Matter Where You Go, I Will Find You. part 1
So this is the first full length story I have worked on in years. It will be different from all the snippets and one shots I have shared lately and will continue on in a multi-part series, spanning across Clone Wars and Rebels and into a bit of Legends Star Wars.
This will eventually be a 18+ older fic and will deal with anxiety, death, sex,  PTSD, murder, loss, found family, Order 66, and coming to terms. This is not just a fluff fic. It will very much be dealing with very dark and hard themes, so please, if that is something that can be too hard for you, don’t read.
Pairings: Rex x Reader x Cody (polyamory)
Rating: 18+ 
TW: Death, Murder, infanticide, death of the Jedi, PTSD, Loss, Anxiety, eating disorders, sleep disorders, Order 66. I will add other things as I think about them.
Part 1: Memories, Floating
You held tight to Rex, your grip on his blacks stretching out the material. He would never complain though. Cody came up from behind, hands on your hips as he gently kissed your shoulder.
"Cyare, it'll be okay. I'll be back before you know it. And then the war will be over and we'll go on a 'diplomatic mission to Alderaan'. All three of us." Even though his words were sweet, his arms pulled you tighter to him. 
"I can't help it, Rex. I keep having these dreams, these...visions. I'm so worried something bad is going to happen."
Rex breathed out his nose in a deep sigh and held you at arms length. Cody came around as well, standing in front of you, hands close to Rex's. Rex whispered your name, but you couldn't hear what he said afterwards.
Everything was muffled and starting to fade.
You panicked, trying to hold on for a few more moments. But everything was gone. Faded into nothingness, leaving you alone.
You shot up from your bed, covered in sweat. The little charms and baubles you had hanging from your makeshift bunk tinked and jingled as they hit your head. It was dark in your small ship, the blackness of space doing little for ambient light. A few, small, glowing spots littered around, giving an eerie feel to the silence.
 You groaned, leaning your arms across your knees, your small, threadbare blanket pooling in your lap.
It seemed like such a lifetime ago, that dream. A memory from before when everything was still normal, still happy.
Your brought a shaky hand to your face and wiped your brow. What was going on with you?  How many nights was it now? How many times did those faces haunt you? It didn't matter, they had to be dead. But it didn't stop your heart from hurting. They turned against you, but you couldn't stop that clenching in your chest, that feeling of emptiness clawing up your throat.
In your frustration, you wretched your small pillow from behind you and threw it across the hull, screaming and raking your fingers through your hair.
You were so tired of seeing their faces, of hearing their voices, of feeling their touch. You just wanted it to stop.
But you guessed this was your penance. This was the Force punishing you for breaking your most sacred code, for surviving when better Jedi had fallen, for walking away and becoming a bounty hunter. 
You leaned your head back; eyes closed as you felt your tears fall into your hairline. But they were gone. Your heart was ripped away. Your Master was gone too, on some back water planet, probably dead as well. Your sister was dead too, gone with your beloved. You hated to think he killed her. That your most beloved killed his vod'ika. And worst of all, your big brother was the most vile thing in the galaxy, hunting everyone down. Everything you knew or loved or were was buried under the Empire.
There was a beeping. A loud, irritating sound coming from the front of your ship. It cut through the silence of space and your thoughts like an angry rancor. You brought your head forward and let it loll onto your shoulder, staring at the red light that accompanied the trill sound. Someone was calling you. You thought about ignoring it, it could be someone looking to hire you, or Senator Organa checking up on you, or even Fett. You hate him the most. He looked just like them. He sounded like them. When he whispered your name at night...no. It was probably one of them and kark em. You hated them all. You hated how they used you, how they feigned their worry, how they looked at you, knowing you'd always keep their bed warm, even if you hated them.  
  But that light kept blinking and that sound kept beeping and soon you were out of your bed, grumbling into your chair and hitting your console.
"Whoever this is, you better have a good kriffing reason. And I swear to Maker if this is you Fett, I'm hanging up now."
"PRETTY LADY!" 
Hondo. That idiot pirate king now smuggler pushed his face into his receiver, the fish eye lense on his console warping him features in the blue light that was shown from yours.
You sighed and curled up into your chair, the collar of your old, faded, black shirt falling over your shoulder. The long necklace you always wore with two scored pieces of duriplast, fell from your shirt and got caught in the fabric.
You absent-mindedly played with it, the blue and gold colors flashing between your fingers. "What do you want Hondo?"
"Oh?! Is that how you treat your oldest friend? Pretty Lady, I am hurt. You have fired a bolt right into my heart. I am nothing but anguish as my last breath leaves my chest at your cruel words. I..."
"Hondo. It's late, I'm tired."
"No one ever appreciates me or my sweet words anymore." 
"Hondo." You cut him off of his grumbling, running a hand down your face. An act he didn't miss.
"Pretty Lady, when was the last time you ate a meal that wasn't a ration bar? Or when you slept for more than an hour?"
You looked away chewing on your cheek and breathing out your nose. 
"You know I worry about you. I made a promise to our dear Kenobi..."
"I know Hondo. I'm sorry for snapping."
"It's alright, Pretty Lady. But! I didn't just call you for pleasantries! I have a new lead! One I think you'll really love."
You perked up at that and sat up straighter in your chair. 
"Hondo, don't you mess with me."
"When have I ever messed with you?"
Your eyebrow raised up and you leveled him with a look.
"Okay okay, when have I ever messed with you when it comes to these matters?"
You looked over your shoulder at a door against your wall, before turning back to Hondo.
"What have you got?"
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febuwhump day 7: poisoning
//tw: some more mature themes in this one. implications of intended noncon (via date-rape drug) (doesn’t actually happen but tw just in case)//
“General Skywalker,” Rex’s voice patched through. “Come in, sir. Come in!” Clipped and urgent.
“This is Skywalker,” Anakin replied, glancing at the men around him quickly with a questioning eyebrow. Fives shrugged.
Anakin had been waiting with a handful of clones outside the bar while Rex and Ahsoka went in for a quick round of recon. They’d had a pretty good tip that this was the place. But fifteen soldiers of the GAR busting into any establishment didn’t go unnoticed, so it was best to be sure.
“You better get in here, sir–”
“Rex, the plan is–”
“It’s the Commander. She’s–sir, she’s…”
“On my way.” Anakin motioned for the rest of the men to stay behind as he sprinted toward the bar. He busted through the door, his lightsaber already ignited and at the ready.
“Hey! You can’t come in here with that!” the bartender shouted.
“You gonna stop me?” Anakin growled, before scanning the room.
He easily found Rex kneeling on the ground in a corner, his back to Anakin. As the Jedi approached, the Captain looked up and over his shoulder, fear etched into his face.
Anakin’s throat went dry as soon as he got close enough to Rex to see what he was hovering over.
“She–it’s poison, sir. In her drink.”
Anakin turned on Rex in a flash. “Why did she have a dr–”
“Someone gave it to her! I–I was talking to the manager over there and...by the time I saw her with the glass, I–sir, I tried, but it was too late and–”
“Relax, Rex,” Anakin said, even though he felt anything but. His anger toward Rex was misguided and he knew it. He held up an apologetic hand. “We need to get her out of here. Now.”
Ahsoka laid across the floor, one arm bent at an awkward angle beneath her. Her purpling lips stood out in stark contrast to her abnormally pale skin. Carefully, Anakin lifted an arm under her head and knees, bringing her close to his chest.
He turned to Rex, his eyes dark. “Do you know who did it?”
“Yes, sir, but he’s gone. I would have gone after him but–I didn’t want to leave her and…”
“You did the right thing,” he said, looking down at the girl in her arms. Had she always been so small? “But there’s been a change of plans.”
“Sir?”
“Forget the mission. Round up the boys and…” Anakin swallowed against the anger in his own chest. “Find him.”
Rex’s jaw set. “Yes, sir.”
“And here,” Anakin tossed Rex his lightsaber, careful not to jostle Ahsoka too much. “Clear us a path.”
“General, I can’t–”
“Go.”
Rex nodded shortly and ignited the saber with timidity. He rolled it in his hand, once, twice, before looking at Anakin for reassurance. At the Jedi’s nod, Rex’s gaze fell back toward the unconscious girl in his arms and his face hardened. He walked ahead of Anakin toward the door, the lightsaber held directly in front of him.
The various people and creatures in the bar shifted away, leaving a clear path toward the door. “Stay back,” Anakin snarled. “If anyone touches me or my Padawan, we’ll kill you.”
Rex’s gait faltered a bit at that, but Anakin wasn’t interested in his Captain’s warnings of caution. He wanted someone to try and mess with him. He’d relish the excuse, the permission, to do what he’d been wanting to do since he got here tonight.
The ship was ready to head back to Coruscant to get Ahsoka the complete care she needed, but Anakin waited at the bottom of the ramp, his arms folded across his chest, heart thumping wildly. 
It didn’t take long for the 501st to track the man down. Fives and Jesse threw him to the dirt in front of Anakin.
Anakin ignited the saber Rex had been in too much of a hurry to give back to him and held it toward the drunk Trandoshan’s neck. He sputtered and inched as far back as Jesse’s armoured knees would let him.
“Wha’ the hell’s goin’ on?”
“You...poisoned...my...Padawan.”
“Wha’s a Pana–a Pada–”
Jesse shoved him quiet with a swift kick.
“She’s on that ship with tubes coming out of her as my medic pulls chemicals from her bloodstream. I want to know why.” He pressed the lightsaber a little closer to the Trandoshan’s neck, thankful Obi-Wan wasn’t here to watch his interrogation techniques for this particular instance.
“Jus’ a–jus’ a joke!!”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Was only hoping for...for fun.”
“Fun?” Anakin bit off. He’d dealt with scum like this before–he knew what ‘fun’ was code for. “She’s a child, you fucking monster.”
The man released a bark of laughter and winked. “Doesn’t look like one.”
Thankfully, Jesse beat Anakin to the punch and stepped on the man’s ankle, eliciting cries of pain that almost satiated Anakin’s desire to derive them himself. He waited for the man to stop writhing in pain before he dropped his face even with the drunk’s.
“You’re lucky my medic told me she’s going to be okay,” he said, dangerously low. “Because if she wasn’t, I’d personally see to it that you die as slowly and painfully as you deserve.”
The man struggled to swallow.
“But since she got lucky, so are you,” Anakin spat. “Here’s my offer–you come with us and spend the next few years rotting in prison with the other scum of the galaxy. Or I can personally ensure you never have an incident like this again by altering some critical aspects of your anatomy right here and now.”
“You’re–” The man arched away from the lightsaber, sucking in a hysterical breath. “You’re insane.”
“You’re fucking right,” Anakin growled, flipping off his saber and hooking it back on his belt. Before he turned back to the ship and directed the men to fully apprehend the Trandoshan and bring him on board, he made a split second decision. He’d have to convince Rex to leave it out of the report later...and skip over it in his recounting to Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. But it was worth it.
Anakin pulled his mechno-arm back and pounded soundly into the man’s jaw, smiling at the satisfying crack that echoed around the clearing.
febuwhump 2021 prompt list
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sunnymiles · 3 years
Text
angstpril day 29
hello! very excited about this one, it was one of the first i wrote. do i know why it came into my brain? nope LMAO but here we are - also if anyone remembers me talking about a decapitation fic, this is it, we have arrived
i thought i would be able to do more angstpril but life has really gotten in the way so this will be my last one probably and i'll save the drafts i have for something later :)
i did not post to ao3 because i definitely think i am going to expand this one in the future!!!
also please laugh at this outline thing i wrote before starting-  “Sitsoka is now Yam Dooky’s apprentice bc reasons”
prompt: going dark
[summary: Sith!Ahsoka has a familiar senator to assassinate, and an old master to avoid]
tw: major character death and decapitation
-
The job should be easy.
Padme was normally very visible at these events. Her idealism and love for the downtrodden always pulled her further into the spotlight. An admirable trait, but not a smart one.
The Naboo squadron of guards she kept would be virtually useless against Ahsoka’s abilities. They kept up the façade of protection, but they were no match for someone well-trained in the force.
It was perfect.
Ahsoka could just show up, and her lightsaber would make quick work of the senator.
Plans were made to be altered. A saying from her former master, but one she took to heart.
If she had to be seen, it wouldn’t foil the mission. This would be her public debut, and as long as no one looked too closely at her eyes, she could play the part of the naïve padawan fairly well. 
She’d had years of practice.
No. Anak- Skywalker would be the only issue.
Where Padme went, he followed like a lovestruck idiot. Ahsoka would have the element of surprise, but her former master was stronger than her, both in the force and physically.
Her tongue ran thoughtfully over the newly sharpened canines in her mouth. Perhaps, she’d get to try them out. It’d been too long since she had gotten to properly hunt.
The holocron on her hip buzzed urgently. The gloom of the alleyway was pervasive, but she knew she wouldn’t be seen here.
It didn’t stop the chill from crawling up her back.
Just the pre-mission nerves kicking in.
Dooku’s glowering face rose to meet her as she answered the comm, and Ahsoka decided she had preferred the silence of the haunting passageway.
“What a pleasant surprise, Master.”
“Don’t be coy.”
He never let her have any fun.
“Are you in position?”
“Everything should go smoothly.”
“For your sake, you had better hope that’s true.”
“Always so positive.” She grumbled under her breath.
For an old man, he had stellar hearing, and the sharp look he gave her made her spine straighten infinitesimally.
He ended the call with a familiar glare.
She had everything under control. This would be successful, she’d make sure of it. A chance to finally prove herself.
She didn’t need the Jedi, or Anakin, or even Dooku. No, Ahsoka Tano had only herself to rely on, and she’d never been let down.
Her steps from the alley were quick and measured. Silent on the street, as she swiftly exited the shadier parts of Coruscant. The small smile painted on her face gave her an approachable guise. No one would expect a thing, until it was too late.
Bright lights gleamed in the dark of night, luring her closer to destiny. A winning smile and a wave of her hand, and she was in.
The venue was richly decorated and full of sycophants. Gaudy gold pieces littered the walls, staining them with their elaborate decadence.
So garish.
Padme’s touch was visible in the lavish floral centerpieces, a staple of Naboo. Yet, there was no sign of the full skirts, and dazzling smile Ahsoka needed.
She prowled the top level, ignoring any attempt at conversation, and tried to find her prey.
Down on the first floor near the doorway.
A familiar senator accompanied by the cause of Ahsoka’s eternal rage.
Senator Amidala laughed at one of Skywalker’s jokes, exuding pure happiness.
Ahsoka couldn’t look at them. 
Abandoning her and then moving on as if she’d never mattered-
She couldn’t let her anger undermine the mission, no matter how justified it was. She scanned for someone suitable, there.
She grabbed hold of the Rodian’s feeble mind, seeking in like inky tar, and urged him to yell “Fire!”
As she’d expected, the crowd swarmed for the exit. Ahsoka vaulted over the railing in the chaos, ignoring the screams and hysteria.
Oh this was too easy.
Making sure she couldn’t be seen from behind, she crept toward the senator and her entourage.
There wouldn’t be a way to avoid him.
“Anakin!”
“Snips?” His head whipped around and his eyes were round with disbelief. 
“Hey Skyguy.” She kept her tone playful, her head tilted downward to hide the edge of her smirk.
“Yo-You’re alive?”
She knew the grin on her lips was positively feral.
"Oh, I'm alive."
"Ahsoka, I-I'm so glad." His arms reached toward her, and her step back was instinctual.
"We'll have to save the pleasantries, master." She swallowed her anger, letting it fuel the growing pit in her stomach.
"I'm here for... something else." Her eyes darted to Padme.
"Wha"-
Showtime.
She vaulted over the table separating her and Padme. The feeble guards around the senator could’ve been for show with how quickly she dismantled them. Her lightsaber cut through the duo with ease and Ahsoka felt the familiar thrill run through her.
Skywalker was still too shocked to be of much threat, but she knew he wouldn’t be down for long. Not when it came to Padme.
Her Togrutan roots sung as she finally captured her prey. Ahsoka bared her teeth in victory, daring anyone, daring him, to come closer.
“What are you doing? This isn’t you!” Oh, he wanted to play this game.
“Yes, yes, where has your snippy little padawan gone?”
She could hear the anger in her voice, but she was too far gone to stop.
“Oh I remember, you left her on Mortis!”
His eyes widened with something akin to hurt. But, Ahsoka wasn’t going to believe his little display.
“We-We thought you were dead, Ahsoka I would never”-
“I don’t care.”
The red of her lightsaber hovered threateningly against Padme’s neck.
Ahsoka leaned down to purr directly in Padme’s ear.
“I did always like you better."
A small quiver ran through Padme, but that was the only sign of her fear. How impressive.
“Ahsoka, let go of her!”
Her laugh was the only sound in the evacuated ballroom.
“Just stop, and we can talk about this!” His tone was growing more manic, and she relished in it.
Finally, to be the one in control.
She huffed a breath on the senator’s neck and watched her tense. “I hope you can understand, it really is nothing personal.” A murmur just for her.
Her blade sliced across Padme’s neck, forever silencing the idealistic Senator. The severed head dropped to the floor with a sickening finality.
She needed to get out of here. Now.
“Padme!”
Skywalker was dangerous on a normal day, but with the weight of what she’d just done, his wrath would be terrible. Not survivable.
She used the Force to jump away from the carnage of bodies. Distancing herself from the destruction in her wake.
“No, no, no”-
He was cradling Padme’s corpse to his chest, rocking slowly. Seemingly unable to accept the fixedness of her demise.
Pathetic.
But, this was her chance. She moved silently, careful to keep him in her sights, as she approached the exit.
Another job well done. The thought filled her with immense satisfaction.
A hoarse sob echoed throughout the room.
She should kill him.
The thought made her pause. He was alone, no Kenobi to deal with. Vulnerable and hurting.
Want coiled through her, the dark side pulsing seductively. Oh, to take out Skywalker, to repay him for his tutelage, for his abandonment of her.
She peered over at him, an internal debate keeping her rooted by the door.
His head snapped up and their eyes locked. The room chilled considerably, and Ahsoka could taste the Dark Side.
Anakin’s eyes flashed yellow to match her own.
Killing him would be more difficult, now that he’d subconsciously realized the futility of the Light Side. Rage and hurt tended to do that to a person.
She would know.
She’d be better off fleeing the scene, disappearing into the bustling streets of Coruscant.
A second option formed in her mind.
The words she’d been forced to learn, the Sith Code. There are always two-
If she played this right, pretended to have been tricked by Dooku, she could make herself a very useful ally. A few tears, and a sob story of the dark side taking hold of her mind- he’d forgive her. She’d just be the padawan he wasn’t able to protect, the one he’d left behind to this fate.
And then, they could turn their sights to Dooku.
She smirked.  Ahsoka turned and stared into the tumultuous rage pulsing within Anakin Skywalker. Such raw potential.
This was going to be fun.
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typewrittenluck · 3 years
Text
Sorry General
AN: Okay hehe this is my first time ever posting a fic so be nice :/. It’s basically just self-indulgent Obi-Wan angst-fluff because I miss him and I’m excited for the new show. This takes place during The Clone Wars, Season 2, Episode 10. But you don’t have to watch it to understand what’s going on. Anyways enjoy!
Word Count: 2130
Warnings: None, Anakin being a lil’ shit
(gif creds to owner)
General Grievous had escaped yet again. It seemed as if every time the Jedi came close to capturing the sleaze ball, he would slip right through your hands. You could sense the tension in the air as everyone onboard the landing craft shared your anxiety, which increased your frustration by every person that you could feel through the force. It of course didn’t help that you were sent down to capture Grievous with none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi, who always had a knack for making you agitated.
As soon as the ship's doors opened, you began to take long strides out, already beginning to scope out the area and make mental notes of factors that might be influential to your mission.
At General Kenobi’s command, you and the troops began to move towards the wreckage of Grievous’s ship in hopes of finding something that would lead you to the General himself. 
After scouting out the ship, Rex determined that the General couldn’t have been far off.
“We’ll split into teams. Rex, take Jesse, Hardcase, Kix, and Y/N and search those wetlands.” Obi-Wan said, gesturing vaguely in your direction.
“Actually, Kenobi,” you spat, “Seeing as I am a General, and therefore rank above Captian Rex, I will lead the troops to conduct a search of the wetlands.”
“Oh, right, of course General Y/N. I wouldn’t want to undermine your notable past with leading battalions and strategy missions.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.
“Why I ought to-”
“Excuse me, Generals, if I may,” Rex stepped in between you two. “we really shouldn’t get distracted from the situation at hand.”
“Yes, of course Captain.” you replied, still glaring at Obi-Wan. “We should get going”
“Right. Cody, you, Crys, and I will pick it up from here.” said Obi-Wan. “Oh, and one more thing,” he said, turning to face you. “If you get a visual on General Grievous, for the love of the force Master Y/N, make contact before you make any rash decisions to engage.”
“From the two of us, Master Kenobi,” you replied, “It is not I who have a track record of making rash decisions.”
Once you were out of earshot, Cody spoke up. “Forgive me General, but you seem worried. I’m sure that General Y/N and Rex are capable of handling this. They are both very wise individuals.”
Obi-Wan stroked his beard, apparently deep in thought. “Yes. Wise indeed.”
                                                  -----------------------
You felt a tug on the force and turned around just in time to see Rex get shot by a Commando droid. 
“REX!” you screamed, as you and the clones rushed over to him.
Jesse and Hardcase finished off the last few droids before joining the small crowd gathering around Rex. It was deemed that the safest plan was to find shelter for the night, so that Rex could heal.
You and the clones made sure that Rex was as comfortable as possible and well-taken care of in the barn that you had secured a place in before you hopped on your speeders and continued your search of the wetlands. 
“General, if it’s not too personal to ask, why do you and General Kenobi seem to fight about everything?” Jesse piped up after a little while.
“That is an extremely inappropriate question to ask your commanding officer soldier.” you snapped back.
“Right. Sorry.”
But it was too late. The question opened the floodgates that you worked so hard to keep closed. The overpowering emotions that you trapped behind a wall came rushing out and now, that was all that you could think about.
The constant questions. Why did Obi-Wan hate you? Why did he feel like you were inferior? Why is he so adamant that you shouldn’t be in charge of battles?
The constant anxiety. What if it’s a reflection of what the council thinks of me? What if everyone else feels that way too and they are just better at hiding it? What if I pass on my incompetence to my Padawan?
And above all, the crippling guilt. You were guilty because you felt responsible for him not liking you. You felt guilty because you broke the code. You felt guilty. Because you loved Obi-Wan Kenobi.
                                           ---------------------------------
Obi-Wan had been a Padawan for a mere two weeks, when a young girl from Dantooine had opened the doors to the Jedi temple, leading the way for an amused group of older Jedi. She had begun her training not long thereafter. On her first day, she walked into the training room and looked around, scoping out the area to decide where she would be comfortable. To Obi-Wan’s surprise, she picked a spot next to him. 
Since that fateful day, their friendship blossomed, mainly due to the fact that their masters, Qui Gon Jinn and Ki-Adi-Mundi, were good friends. Obi-Wan and Y/N became very close. Closer, in fact, than any member of the Jedi order should become to another lifeform. But it was inevitable. The two were so alike and their personalities clashed together perfectly, as if the force had made it so that the two would meet. All of the older Jedi sensed the rising emotions in the two young apprentices, and they felt the need to take preventative measures. So when a mission with an indefinite length popped up on the faraway land of Mandalore, the council saw it as the best opportunity to give the two a break from each other. They sent Obi-Wan on a year long trip to ensure the safety of Mandalores sovereign ruler, Satine Kryze.
Y/N spent her time away from her best friend meditating on her emotions, and came to the conclusion that she had fallen for him. It was against the code. It was against her plan. But she had fallen, and fallen hard.
Obi-Wan ended up with a similar conclusion, after realizing that his emotions towards Satine were anything but new feelings, and he had experienced those same emotions a hundred times stronger towards Y/N.
The problem was that the two apprentices dealt with their feelings in completely different ways. Y/N became awkward and always on edge, and Obi-Wan saw it best to cut her out of his life as much as possible.
Which led them to where they were now. Grown members of the Jedi order who were still harboring childhood crushes on each other, buried deep, deep down.
                                      --------------------------------------------
You were cut out of your train of thought by Obi-Wans voice.
 “Captain Rex, come in please.”
“This is Y/N, Rex was injured.” you replied, still a little dazed by your sudden surge of emotion.
“What’s his condition?”
“He’ll be fine, but we had to find him shelter for the night.”
“Grievous is on the move. We’re headed to the West.” said Obi-Wan. “Swing around and we can meet up at the final escape pod. We’re going to need all of the firepower that we can muster.”
“Alright, we’re on our way.” you said, sharply turning your speeder around as the clones did the same.
                                       --------------------------------------------
You arrived at Obi-Wans position just as you saw a ship attempting to land. You ran into the fray of flying bullets and disembodied droid limbs, jabbing and parrying with your lightsaber to get to Obi-Wan.
“Concentrate your fire on that ship!” he roared to the tanks.
He got distracted by his wrist-com and didn't see a laser ray coming straight at the back of his neck. 
“Keep firing. Don't let that ship land.” he said, as you jumped behind him, drawing your lightsaber to deflect the bullet. He seemed shocked by your sudden appearance.
“I believe a thank you, Master Y/N, is in order.” you dead-panned.
He rolled his eyes, but mumbled an unintelligible thanks.
“The guns are overheated!” you heard a clone say from his wrist-com.
“It’s always something.” Obi-Wan grumbled in response. “Cody, Jesse, cover me!”
“Wait!” you exclaimed after him. “Where are you- oh nevermind.” you sighed as you saw him speed towards Grievous. You sprinted after him, knowing that he would need help.
He began fighting the foul droid General, their battle just a blur of blue and green light.
Just as you arrived at the fight, Grievous was climbing up the side of the ship. “Forget trying to land.” he growled in his raspy voice. You, however, were preoccupied with Obi-Wan who was knocked to the side. He groaned as you knelt by him, reaching feebly behind you as you heard Grievous say “Fire the engines.”
He was lifted into the night sky, narrowly dodging clone bullets as he laughed maniacally. “Jedi scum!”
“Are you alright?” you asked him.
“No.” he sighed in frustration. “We’re right back where we started!”
He called back to Cody. “Call the cruisers, see if they can stop that ship! And tell them to send someone to pick us up.”
You sensed his frustration and heard the defeat in his voice.
“Obi-Wan,” you started tentatively.
“What?” he snapped, his anger evident.
“I know it seems like a total failure-”
“Oh but it is!” he cut you off with contempt. “I’ve lost countless troops, just trying to capture Grievous, and now he’s right there. And I let him slip right past my fin-”
“No!” you cut him off this time. “This kind of talk is what leads to anger. You and I both know that anger leads you down the path of the dark side. This isn’t your fault Obi-Wan.”
Calling him by his first name is what, over all the other things, seemed to get through his head. “You don’t,” he stopped, looking into your eyes. “Blame me?”
And in that moment, standing in an empty battlefield in the middle of Saleucami, you both knew that he was talking about much more than this lost battle.
“You’ve done all that you can do. You did what you thought was right.” you replied.
He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Cody, saying that the transport had arrived to take you all back to the main ship. You two held eye contact for a brief moment before turning and heading in the direction that Cody had gone.
                                        ----------------------------------
You stood in the bridge, looking out of the enormous window with Admiral Yularen right beside you. A droid came up behind you two and tapped you on the shoulder.
“Jedi Master Y/N, Jedi Master Obi-Wan requests your presence.”
“How is he?” you asked.
“He is doing well! He has sustained only minor injuries and will heal very soon!” the droid replied chirpily.
“That’s a relief. Where does he want me to meet him?”
“His private quarters, I believe.”
“Top secret Jedi business, I presume.” chuckled Yularen as you blushed a bright red. You had a sneaking suspicion that this had nothing to do with the Jedi order.
                                     -----------------------------------
“Y/N.” He greeted you, bowing his head and using the force to close the door behind you.
“Obi-Wan.”
“I’m sorry.” he blurted, taking you a little by surprise by his bluntness. “I know that I confused you and I make you feel unwanted at times and I am the reason our friendship was ruined and I promise I have an explanation which is no excuse but you deserve to know why I-” he stopped rambling when he saw your raised eyebrows and caught himself. 
He took a deep breath before beginning again.
“I had a lot of time to think when I was on Mandalore. But I kept thinking about the same thing. You. I couldn’t stop. And it was all that got me through each day, the thought of your face, and your smile, and your laugh. But that’s against the code. And the only way that I could get over you was to cut you off. But it didn’t work because by the stars and the planets Y/N, I love you. I care deeply for Jedi traditions and maintaining the code, but I love you Y/N. I’m sorry.”
“Oh Obi,” you sighed, stepping closer to him. “I realized it same as you. We have been drawn to each other since we met. It’s almost as if the force wanted us to be. And every day since that day that you left for Mandalore, I have looked at the sunrise, hoping that one day, it will bring light to what we once had.” You placed your hand on his scruffy cheek and stroked his jaw as he leaned into your touch. “I love you too.”
He pulled you into a hug, burying his face into your hair as you wrapped your arms tightly around his waist.
“Master- Oh! Sorry!” Anakin walked in, making you and Obi-Wan leap to opposite sides of the room, both of you burning a bright crimson color. Anakin’s eyes darted between the two of you, a smirk growing on his face. 
“Not a word, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said sternly, already having an idea of the things that he knew that his former Padawan would say.
AN Again: I just really want a hug from this man 
58 notes · View notes
bluescluelessly · 4 years
Note
Can we see Obi-wan getting the hugs he deserves? (preferably gen)
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[Rating: T] || [tw: slavery mention]
For once in his life, Obi-Wan Kenobi is eager to get to a medbay. As Ahsoka breaks off to speak with the Togrutan Governor, he splits off with Plo and Anakin's group, following them as his former padawan and his fellow council member discuss the reconstruction and relief efforts the Republic will be making.
He keeps a smile on his face, his shoulders up, back straight, and barely listens. He gives his input where it's asked for, nods approvingly at what they say, and then at the first break in conversation, he begs off. "Ah- you two certainly have things handled from here. I think Helix might kill me if I don't have have my shoulder looked at, so if it's all the same, I'll leave you to it."
He gives them both a quick nod and farewell, then follows the steady stream of clone troopers and (former) Togrutan slaves towards the medbay on Plo Koon's flagship. As he walks, he recognises several refugees who were direct victims of his attempts to 'help'. He averts his eyes after that, unable to bear the weight of the guilt he feels for their suffering.
At least no more will suffer for his attempts to make things better. But that isn't true, is it? The great and terrible General Kenobi, bringing peace to world after world by force. He goes where the war does... or perhaps war follows hot on his heels.
No. Focus. Mind clear, eyes ahead.
His posture goes rigid, eyes fixating forward and catching on the nearest Togrutan victim. She's limping, clearly struggling to walk...
She needs help. He could go up to her, offer her his good shoulder to lean on--
The ghostly buzzing of an elecrowhip stings his ears, and he flinches irrationally.
He has to duck into an empty hallway for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning against a wall. The cold durasteel against his forehead helps, mostly.
He must get ahold of himself.
Why can't he move past these feelings? Why won't the Force accept his guilt, let him release it. Why is it so different from last time?
He's been a slave before... he remembers it, if only vaguely. A month spent on bandomeer, an explosive collar 'round the slight neck of his 13 year old self.
It hadn't hurt so much, then.
What makes this encounter so different? What-- no, don't think about it, don't think don't thinkdon'tthink---
Obi-Wan stays there for a moment, frozen as he's torn between trying not to think and trying to force himself to move past this moment. He still needs to get to the medbay.
It takes longer than he would like to admit to collect himself. Once he has, Obi-Wan leaves the hallway, rejoining the procession to the medbay. Meditation and rest, that's what he needs. He'll be fine once he has that.
Meditation and rest, that's all. Right foot, left foot. Keep going, down the hall.
He almost doesn't notice when he reaches his destination, eyes downcast. He's just become part of the flow of people around him, head down, feet dragging as exhaustion creeps in on him.
The only tell that he's entered the medbay is the sight of the threshold as he crosses it, and the sound of gruff clone voices guiding people where they need to be.
Finally, his head lifts, and he takes in the sights around him.
Dozens of Togruta are scattered around the room in varying degrees of distress. He feels tears begin to sting his eyes as he sees a man laid face down, still as death while a medic cleans the electrolash wounds on his back and lekku. The wounds must hurt terribly to be touched, but the elderly Togrutan simply doesn't have the energy to flinch as each lashing is sterilized and then covered with a bacta strip.
His eyes fixate on that one man, frozen to the spot. He doesn't move, not until he feels a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch from the suddenness of it.
The clone who touched him immediately lets go, seeming shocked by his reaction. "General Kenobi, sir," the man says, and Obi-Wan belatedly recognizes him as Wolffe, Plo's Commander. "Are you here for medical assistance?"
It takes Obi-Wan's brain a second to catch up to the present. "I- er. Yes. My shoulder--" he cuts off, which he knows is unlike him. Glancing around the room, he hedges slightly. "It can wait. You have more pressing injuries to tend to."
"Nonsense, sir." Wolffe says, jerking his head to indicate that Obi-Wan should follow him before he walks along the medbay. "We have plenty of beds and hands to go 'round. I'll get you settled and a medic will take a look at your shoulder. Anyways, I know Helix would have my head if I let you sneak away the one time you voluntarily come to a medbay, sir."
The point makes a tense smile crack across his face. Clearly, his medical officer has a reputation even outside of the 212th and 501st. "Commander, don't tell me you're scared of Helix," he manages to tease.
"Scared?" Wolffe asks, the brow of his blinded eye arching judgementally. "That maniac took down half a dozen droids with just his medkit once. I'm terrified, and frankly, sir, you'd be wise to fear him too."
Obi-Wan remembers that. The infirmary tent was ambushed, and by the time Obi-Wan got back to assist, those in the tent had it handled already. Between Helix and those troopers who were still conscious and able to shoot, the ambush was soundly reduced to scrap metal.
Hm. Perhaps he should be more wary of igniting his medic's ire.
"... point taken, Commander Wolffe." Obi-Wan responds, letting himself be led to an empty bed.
There are still plenty more open, so as Wolffe said, his worries of taking up someone else's space are unfounded. Obi-Wan winces as he pulls himself onto the bed, making his shoulder light up with pain. He brushes off any offer of help however, his heartbeat jumping irrationally at the prospect.
Once he's settled on his bed, Wolffe calls over a free medic, and then bids him farewell, moving on to the next person in need of help.
His wounds (far more extensive than just the shoulder, but nothing critical) are quickly cataloged by the junior medic, then he is given some water and told to relax.
He doesn't, not quite.
It's downright impossible for him to really calm his mind, but he is exhausted. After several stretches of time spent staring listlessly at the ceiling and not thinking, Obi-Wan manages to fall into a restless sleep. (... With the aid of the water and a couple pills left as an option to him.)
°|●*.•
When he wakes again, there is a hand on his back, shaking him.
Obi-Wan jolts, involuntarily shuddering at the touch before he forces himself to be more awake. He's still in the medbay, the smell of bacta and sterilizer gives that away. His face is wet, though. Did they need to put bacta on--
Oh, no, those are his tears.
"Obi-Wan," a voice he recognizes as Anakin's cuts through the fog of his sleep-addled mind.
He manages a grunt, then rolls on his back and props himself up using his good shoulder. His other still hasn't been tended to, so he can't have been here that long.
"Anakin?" He greets, quickly wiping the tears from his face. He must have been crying in his sleep-- nothing new, at least in recent times. He's not sure exactly what it was for, but it isn't hard to imagine. There are plenty of tearworthy tragedies in this room alone.
There's a little bit of awkwardness as Anakin appears to have difficulty finding something to say, so Obi-Wan helps. "I thought you'd be busy still. I know there's still so much to do... I apologize for slacking."
Anakin shakes his head quickly, looking like he wants to reach out before thinking better of it, given how Obi-Wan flinched as he woke. "There's not much, really. Our part is pretty much over, we're just supposed to rest and recover." He pauses, unsure. "Are you okay? You were crying."
The older Jedi's shoulder begins to ache, so he pulls himself up to sit properly and lean against the headboard. He hasn't had a chance to change-- his clothing is still torn, and smells of the filthy mineshaft, and smoke.
"I'll be fine," he promises, eyes downcast as he prays it will be true. "There is so much pain in the force, I can't quite help a few tears." That is far from the true reason, but he hopes it is enough to satisfy Anakin's curiosity.
“A few tears,” Anakin repeats, voice oddly flat. His shoulder twitches in another aborted attempt to reach out. “Obi-Wan... you were sobbing.” The elder Jedi’s gut drops as he listens. “You wouldn’t wake up, they called me here to see if I could help.”
It’s only then that Obi-Wan notices the pair of medics hovering nearby. He feels a sudden flush of embarrassment. Stupid. How could he be so idiotic as to sleep in such a public place, knowing he would have nightmares?
He should have gone back to his quarters first...
Only, the 212th is still several hours away, and he was so exhausted...
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, fighting the ridiculous urge to hug himself. He is a Jedi Master, a Council member.
Anakin is shaking his head. “What? Why? Obi-Wan, are you sure you’re okay?”
He isn’t. “You shouldn't have needed to cone down here to wake me up. I... I'm alright. It was just a nightmare."
"Master," Anakin starts firmly, and moves a little closer, feeling bold. "First of all, I was gonna come see you anyways, so you didn't... inconvenience me, or whatever ridiculous thing you're thinking. Second, if you're hurting, I don't care what work I have, I'm gonna come to help you."
Obi-Wan's knee-jerk reaction is to think about how very against the code that is. Worryingly so. But that thought is quickly overridden by the warmth he feels upon Anakin's declaration of loyalty, of unconditional friendship.
What did he ever do to deserve a padawan with such a gentle heart?
Obi-Wan relaxes a bit, for the first time in days. "... thank you, Anakin." He finally responds, letting out a breath he feels he's been holding for weeks.
"I mean it," Anakin insists. "No thanks needed." He pauses, and Obi-Wan thinks he can sense a faint buzzing from Anakin's mind.
He can tell his former Padawan is trying to send him reassuring, comforting feelings through the force... he's radiating protective warmth like an emotional space heater. If Obi-Wan felt ready to share the state of his own mind, he would be basking in it.
As it is, he keeps his mind and force signature firmly closed off.
No need to show Anakin the horrors within.
As Obi-Wan struggles to think of something to say, Anakin appears to grow impatient. He clearly has questions, and he's never quite been the type to hold off on them, regardless of timing.
"Master... I don't..." he stops, having difficulty phrasing his question. "I mean. You don't cry... ever. What happened? What was your nightmare about? If... if you're okay with talking about it."
Obi-Wan almost laughs, but the sound sticks in his throat, becoming a choked noise.
What was he crying about? Look around, Anakin. The answer should be obvious, he wants to say.
He doesn't, though. He knows they've been in similar situations before, rescuing the citizens of Ryloth, for one. He didn't cry then, so why would now be any different?
Anakin's last concession sticks in his mind, though. Is he ready to talk about it? Can he bring himself to?
No.
Force, no. He can't even think about it.
His hand flutters awkardly as he struggles to find a place for it, resisting his urge to hug himself. "I... not right now, Anakin."
It's not a never, though. Obi-Wan knows... intellectually he knows that Anakin would understand. That, of everyone he knows, Anakin, a former slave and fellow Jedi, would understand the damage done to him. He may even have suggestions for how to help.
"Okay," Anakin hides his disappointment to the best of his ability. Obi-Wan appreciates the attempt, even if he sees through it. "... when you're ready, Obi-Wan. I'll be here, whenever you need me to listen."
The assurance brings a wan smile to Obi-Wan's face. "... I'll find you when I am, dear one."
No one can make Obi-Wan feel quite as safe and at ease as Anakin does.
The younger Jedi beams at the promise, moving a little closer. "Since you're not in a talking mood, want me to tell you how my part of the mission went, Master?"
The change of subject is a releif. Obi-Wan nods readily, happy to listen to Anakin's impromptu and likely dramaticized mission report.
He listens with rapt attention as Anakin goes through all of what he considers were 'the fun parts', making jokes and blowing quite a few details out of proportion.
It takes Obi-Wan's mind off his own experience, and he finds himself smiling along as Anakin finishes his story. By the end of it, Anakin is sitting on the edge of his bed, his thigh pressed along Obi-Wan's through the sterile sheets.
"Hey, Master?"
The epithet draws Obi-Wan's attention, and he nods to indicate Anakin shoukd go on.
Anakin is... a little hesitant. "Is it okay if I touch you? I wanna give you a hug, but not if it'll make you uncomfortable."
The question makes Obi-Wan's heart swell, and he finds himself nodding even before he consciously decides. "Anakin... yes, of course. I think we both could use one, after this mission."
Once again, Anakin beams, his force signature liked a supernova of happiness as he surges forward, wrapping his arms tight around Obi-Wan. "Yeah. And good, because I'm not letting go anytime soon, old man."
Obi-Wan ignores the pain in his shoulder. It's nothing compared to the warmth and security he feels right now in Anakin's embrace. He feels... cared for, loved, appreciated. All of the things that slave camp stripped from him.
It's gonna be okay, he realizes. This will pass, because he has Anakin here to help him make things right. When they're together, no challenge is too great, no problem is unsolvable.
Just as he's relaxing into the hug, getting comfortable for the duration, he hears quick footsteps and a gasp.
"Masters!" Ahsoka greets them cheerfully. "I just came to see how you're doing-- I didn't know it was hug Master Obi-Wan day! Can I have one too?"
"Get in here, snips," Anakin says, lifting an arm to make space for her.
"Always room for one more," Obi-Wan agrees more mildly, also making space to accommodate their padawan.
Ahsoka doesn't need to be told a third time; she squishes herself tight into the embrace, hugging both her teachers with all the strength in her limbs.
"We should hug more often," she says decisively.
"Definitely," Anakin agrees.
And well, Obi-Wan woukd say he's outnumbered, but he would agree either way. "We should," he responds softly, hugging them both a bit tighter.
They're a family, and he couldn't ask for a better one.
194 notes · View notes
i-lionheart · 3 years
Text
IT'S NOT A WIP ANYMORE BITCHES!!!!!
Ok so i wrote a fic that's basically this post by the-modern-typewriter but i took the concept and some main elements and rewrote it as a kylo ren self insert because of course i did i wanted a comfort fic and i refuse to apologize its not plagiarism i cited my sources k thx
anyways this is a Kylo ren x fem!reader (but the only time reader's gender is referenced as when they're referred to as "good girl" so make of that what you will). Angst, torture mention, self harm tw, suicide tw, depression tw, safe for work but implicit nudity. Also there's none of that "y/n" or (name) shit because I just personally hate it. I made this for me not you but it totally fukin slaps so read on at your own risk lmao
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Tell Me Why
“You’ve been astonishingly resilient,” Ren said softly. “What a shame it has to come to this.”
His gaze roamed over you lazily, possessively, drinking in the sight of you. You were bound, gagged, and strapped down to an interrogation table. In his personal quarters, of all places.
You would trade every star in the galaxy to be anywhere but here.
Ren picked up a syringe full of clear, thick liquid off the tray of wicked-looking instruments that lay beside you and held it in front of your eyes. “I’m expect you’re quite familiar with this," he said, voice deceptively casual. "The resistance undoubtedly trained you to resist truth serum as insurance against the unthinkable. Obviously,” he said, indicating your current predicament, “They are fools.”
So it would be truth serum. You could handle this easily enough. All you had to do was tell him the truth, but not the one he was looking for. Simple.
Some miniscule change in your expression must have given your hubris away. Ren chuckled. “You poor thing.” he said. “Do you really think that we haven’t made… improvements on this since my grandfather held your precious General captive so long ago?”
You swallowed thickly, blood pounding through your temples as your breath caught in your throat. What could he possibly be talking about? Truth serum had been perfected in the days of Old Republic and hadn’t changed for centuries.
What advantage could he possibly hope to have?
Ren lowered his face until his eyes were level with yours. Though every fiber of your being screamed at you to look away, you met his gaze, trembling.
“You know as well as I do that the Old Republic, the Jedi, were weak. Fools,” he spat. “They were afraid to do what was truly necessary to meet their goals. The First Order has no such weaknesses.”
He lowered his mouth and whispered rapidly in your ear, his breath ghosting along your skin. “Unfortunately for you, I am not a Jedi, and this will hurt quite a bit. I only wish that I could remove that gag and hear every shriek that comes out of that pretty little mouth without risking you biting off your own tongue.” He clucked his tongue softly as he stood up. “What a shame.”
He replaced the syringe on the tray and selected a small pair of medical scissors, then began to methodically cut through the fabric of your sleeve. "I would apologize for the outfit," he said sardonically, "but I rather suspect that you have much bigger things to be worrying about at the moment."
Once your sleeve was split all the way to your elbow, Ren set the scissors down and set his leather-clad fingers to the task of spreading the halved fabric of your sleeve to fully reveal your bare skin. He was agonizingly gentle, as though trying to spread the petals of a struggling flower and help it bloom.
His work complete, his eyes and his fingers roved over your exposed arm, relishing your vulnerability. If you weren't paralyzed with fear, you would have squirmed, thrashed, done anything to flee his scrutiny.
Force, please, you thought desperately, don't let him see them. Please, anything but that. I'll give anything. Let him do what he wishes to me as long as they go unnoticed. Please.
As though sensing your frantic pleas, Ren's eyes locked onto your wrist, onto the unnaturally straight cuts and scars criss crossing your skin.
"What is this?" he said softly.
Shit.
It was the last straw. The spell of fear holding you in place broke. You twisted your arm as far as you could in the restraints, trying to hide what it was far too late to conceal. Instantly his hand shot out and pinned your wrist to the table as you writhed in his grasp.
"You know as well as I do that you cannot take back what has been revealed. The mynock is out of the bag, little one. Are you going to lie still, and let me finish what your own foolish actions have started? Or am I going to have to make you?"
Realizing it was of no use, that you were absolutely, utterly powerless, you stopped thrashing. Tears glistened on your cheeks. Your breath hitched as choked sobs pushed their way past your gag. You fought for every inhale and exhale, lungs crushed under the weight of your own rising panic.
But bewilderingly, inexorably, you were still.
"Good girl," he breathed.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he lifted his hand from your wrist. When you remained motionless, even without his grip holding you to the table, his hands moved to your elbow and, abandoning those damn scissors, he began to finish what he had started.
He tore first one sleeve, then the other, and made short work of everything else until you were laid bare before him. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.
Kylo Ren's eyes roved over you, taking in every mark, every scar, every bruise on your bare skin. You wanted to fight it so badly, wanted twist yourself away from his agonizing scrutiny, but all you could do was shut your eyes and pray for it to be over. His burning gaze held you immobile like the galaxy's most powerful vice.
"I know what marks I've left on this body, little one," he said, voice unbearably tender. "I know what scars one gets from doing what we do. But this-" his fingers brushed your wrists, your thighs, your torso, tracing the bar code that you had marked yourself with in so many places- "this is not that." His voice, though still intolerably gentle, was taut, hinting at the tightly leashed rage that you could feel bubbling just below his deceptively calm exterior.
For so long, you had been terrified that someone would find out, would ask an unavoidable question, would see something they shouldn't have because you slipped up.
You hadn't expected it to be him.
What the hell was he going to do to you?
After another excruciating moment of consideration, he reached up and unbuckled the gag, carefully sliding it out from between your teeth and setting it on the tray beside the scissors and abandoned syringe. You worked your jaw, gratefully bringing a bit of relief to your sore muscles and parched mouth. You were so tired. So, so tired, too physically and psychologically exhausted to care what happened to you anymore. You had already been on this table for an eternity too long. Let him get what he wanted from you and finally, at long last, leave you for dead.
"What is it?" he asked evenly. "Control? Punishment? Or something else?"
Your eyes snapped open, wide with fear and shock, only to find your gaze locked together with his.
"What?" The word came out of your mouth in a grating, dry rasp.
"You heard me," he said. "Why do you do it?"
How dare he. How dare he. The absolute nerve he had, to strap you to a table you and torture you endlessly, and then find out about this and pretend that he cared.
"Fuck off," you said.
"That's no answer."
"You don't even care." You glanced away, eyes flooded with silent tears that you were too embarrassed about to let him see. "No one does."
You flinched as you felt a leather glove hand touch you, then realized that he was caressing your face. Stroking your hair. Comforting you, exactly where you needed it. Holding you like your mother did, so long ago. Touching you the way you had been starving for for so long.
How could he possibly know what you needed so desperately, much less be doing it of his own accord? What happened to him?
You finally mustered up the courage to look back at him, despite the blinding tears and your fear of what you might see. When you finally wrenched your gaze up to meet his, you were shocked by what you saw.
Pity. Concern. Genuine worry. Anger, not at you, but at the people who watched you spiral so far down and did nothing.
All this he told you with his eyes alone.
How was this possible? Stars' sake, he was your enemy. He hated you. So why was he looking at you like he was trying to offer you a lifeline when he was supposed to want you dead?
"Why are you doing this to me?" you whispered.
"Answer me," he said quietly, "And I'll stop."
You took a rattling breath in, and shut your eyes.
You had no choice.
"It's everything," you said softly. "The control. The punishment. All of it." You opened your eyes again and looked back at him as a sob built in your throat. "It keeps me alive, even though I don't deserve to be."
---
"It keeps me alive, even though I don't deserve to be."
The words hit Kylo like a dagger to the heart.
So that was why you had never acted on the desires he sensed in you, why you wanted to join him so badly but rejected his offers at every turn. That was why, when he offered you his hand, his teaching, his service, a position by his side, you almost took it before you wrenched yourself away. The Resistance never understood you, saw you as nothing more than a tool for a job. And you didn't think you deserved the what he could provide.
The sobs he had watched you struggle against for so long finally spilled past your lips in a tidal wave. He shushed you as one would a frightened animal, brushed away your tears with his thumb, and quickly undid the restraints at your ankles and wrist. He slid his arms under you and lifted you as easily as though you were a child, one arm under your legs to support your weight, the other pressing your head to his chest as you sobbed, the Force supporting you where he couldn't.
"Easy now," he said, voice low and soothing. "Easy, easy, easy- there we go, come on, come on, there's a good girl. I've got you. I've got you. You're safe now. You're safe. Good girl, come with me. Come with me, now."
He kept up the constant stream of reassurances as he carried you to his bed, holding you with one arm and the Force as he pulled back the covers with the other before setting you in the bed. He kicked off his boots and slid in beside you, pulling you close to his chest, telling you what you had needed to hear for so long.
You were going to be okay, he told you. He promised. Vowed to keep you by his side and give you everything he had to offer, fulfill your every need.
He'd give you the galaxy, if you asked for it. But all you needed was him.
The two of you stayed there until your sobs subsided, his hand absently stroking your hair, your tears soaking his shirt. Neither of you said anything, but you both knew.
You were finally where you belonged. And you were here to stay.
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pandora15 · 4 years
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Whumptober 2020 Day 2 Prompt: “Pick Who Dies”
(tw: major character death, blood)
[AO3]
As he walked out into the courtyard with the Father, Anakin felt dread pooling deep in his gut, cold and terrible.  He shuddered, looking around the empty courtyard for anything that seemed out of place.
The Father led him to the circle at the center of the courtyard before he stopped, turning to face Anakin.
“It is time to face your guilt and know the truth,” he said, voice booming through the courtyard.
Before Anakin could even think of a response, he heard a screech from somewhere in the sky.  He looked up.
Two large creatures—a white and green griffin and a black and red gargoyle—flew into the courtyard.  As the creatures flew closer, Anakin spotted who each of them held in their talons.
The dark creature—the one Anakin assumed was the Son—held Ahsoka, and the Daughter held Obi-Wan.  As they landed on opposite sides of the courtyard, Anakin saw that his Padawan and his Master were both struggling to pull away.
“Whatever it wants, don’t do it, Master!” Ahsoka exclaimed, struggling to use her free hand to push her other hand out of the Son’s grasp.
Anakin turned to the other side of the courtyard, where Obi-Wan was struggling to pull himself forward, almost shaking from the exertion.
“Let them go,” Anakin demanded, glaring at the Father.  “I will not play your games!”
“Oh, but I think you will,” the Father replied, walking casually around Anakin.  “I have ordered my children to kill your friends.  The question is…”
The Father disappeared from Anakin’s view, reappearing on a balcony high above the courtyard.
“Which one will you choose to save?  Your master, or your apprentice?”
Anakin’s stomach dropped as he looked from Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, blood roaring in his ears.  His vision blurred, and his legs trembled, threatening to buckle and deposit him to the ground.
“You must now release the guilt, and free yourself, by choosing!”
Anakin froze.
Guilt?
Oh, Anakin knew guilt all too well.  He was guilty for what had happened to his mother, and for what he had done to the Tuskens afterwards.  He was guilty for breaking the Jedi Code and marrying Padmé, but he loved her so much, and he would not allow the Council to expel him for such matters.
But despite that—despite the horrible guilt Anakin felt even now—Anakin would not play the Father’s games.
He shook his head.  “No!” he exclaimed vehemently.
“Their powers are too strong for us, Anakin; save Ahsoka!” Obi-Wan shouted, and Anakin turned to face him, stomach clenching.
Anakin felt his breath freeze in his chest.
No, he couldn’t lose Obi-Wan.  He wouldn’t lose Obi-Wan, not like this, not when he was being forced to choose between two of the most important people in his life.
He turned back to Ahsoka, who was still trying to yank her arm out of the Son’s grasp, but her efforts were futile.
“Let them go,” Anakin hissed, looking up at the Father once again.
“Only you can make my children release them,” the Father declared, gesturing toward the Daughter and the Son.
With a quiet exhale, Anakin closed his eyes, reaching slowly for the Force.  He distantly heard Obi-Wan saying something, and his voice vibrated through Anakin’s mind, a pillar, a certainty.
He would not choose between Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.  Not today, and not like this.
Anakin opened his eyes.
“You will let them go!” he exclaimed, pushing his arms outwards with a strong Force push.  He watched as Obi-Wan and Ahsoka stumbled backwards, as the Son and the Daughter flapped their wings against the powerful gust of wind.
Anakin clenched his hands into fists, forcing both creatures to fall into his grasp. Then, he lifted his hands.
Night and day rotated on its axis in the sky above him.  The Force sang in his veins as power unlike anything Anakin had ever experienced ignited itself in his body.  The planet was bending to his will, to his command, and it would not fail him.
And these children—they would heed his command, because he could control them however he wished, just as the Father said.
This was his destiny, his moment of glory; this was what he had been waiting for his whole life.  The sort of power that would allow him to write the galaxy’s fate with his own hands, to control and dominate, to bring balance—
A terrible, pained gasp rang into Anakin’s ears, and the Force seemed to freeze in its place, painting the sky dark.  Lightning flashed across his vision, and he distantly heard Ahsoka cry out over the ringing in his ears.
Slowly, Anakin turned.
The Daughter was lowering Obi-Wan slowly to the ground as her bloodied talon slid out of his chest.  Obi-Wan’s head lolled sideways, away from Anakin, but he could see the blood pooling underneath his body.
A horrible scream echoed in the courtyard, and then Anakin was sprinting towards his fallen Master, distantly hearing Ahsoka’s footsteps from somewhere behind him.
“No!” he shouted as he ran to Obi-Wan, taking in the sight of the gruesome hole in the center of his chest, the blood, and the stillness that had taken over Obi-Wan’s body.  Obi-Wan’s eyes, lifeless and empty, stared at a spot far above Anakin’s head.
The Force shattered, and Anakin screamed along with it.
(Pandora’s Whumptober 2020 Masterlist)
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missinashkin · 3 years
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Foxiyo Week 2020 - Agony
@foxiyoweek
TW: Vomiting, mentions of death, gore, blood, survivor’s guilt, and trauma. Please don’t read this if your head is in a bad place at the moment!
Wow this was exhilarating to write! I always wanted to know Riyo’s immediate reaction after the events of Orto Plutonia, so I kinda did it myself!
Please be aware of the triggers!!!
Riyo walked into the guest quarters aboard the Resolute, where she had stayed on the venture to Orto Plutonia and what would remain to be her room until they arrive in Coruscant.
The room she was occupying was simple. Not that she had really expected anything else, she was aboard a military cruiser after all. She was surprised at the existence of spare rooms more than anything, though her surprise was somewhat muted.
Laying her headdress on the white dresser next to the door, Riyo has a flashback of white armor in white snow stained with red. She shook her head and attempted to dispel the visions accosting her mind. 
Entering the ‘fresher, she pauses at the mirror and stares at herself for a moment.
Riyo knew she was fairly pretty. Her lilac hair was shiny and held shape well, her golden eyes were framed with dark lashes, and her delicate nose was the last addition her slight figure needed to present herself as a meek, delicate woman. The only thing that hinted at her exhaustion was the dark circles beginning to form under her eyes.
Their mission hadn’t even taken a full day, and yet it felt like she had aged years. 
The clones - the men - that had escorted and protected Chairman Cho… the ones that were dead… she couldn’t get them out of her head. And there she was, standing in front of a mirror while innocent soldiers were frozen on the planet below.
At that moment she kind of wanted to punch her reflection. 
What made her so special that she was allowed to live while they were not?
What made Chairman Cho so special that he had had the authority to command and ensure the deaths of dozens of people? If she hadn’t been able to contact the Speaker of the Assembly he likely would have made sure that dozens, if not hundreds more troopers died for such a needless cause, not to mention ensure the extinction of the Talz. 
He wanted to be remembered as a hero of Pantora, but instead, it was likely that he would always be known as a foolish man, too prideful, too self-centered.
If only she had fought Cho more, Riyo thought furiously, if only she had contacted the Speaker of the Assembly earlier, if only she had been quicker, faster, stronger, braver- all of a sudden the fury and anger melted into sorrow and anguish. Because for a moment she could imagine the Coruscant Guard troopers she had gotten so close to over the past few months in the 501st’s place.
She saw Jek, Rys, and Thire’s bodies close together, protecting each other even in death. She could see Hound and Grizzer’s corpses in place of the Talz rider and his narglatch. 
She saw the bodies she walked past to negotiate peace with Thi-Sen… she’d wanted to stop and mourn for them but had ignored them because she needed to focus on the mission. For the greater good. And then she left.
Would she have done that if it was Fox?
She could clearly envision the commander she had grown so close to over the past few months on his stomach, sprawled out on the snow-covered ground, a spear in his back, eyes glassy in death. Lips she has kissed are red with blood and legs that have been intertwined with her own are bent unnaturally, as if he had been trampled.
Suddenly, she felt sick and rushed to the toilet before vomiting up what little was in her stomach. She couldn’t stop envisioning the faces of the men - of Fox, her heart - rather than the protective helmets they wore.
Tears ran down her cheeks as the acid burned her throat and reality broke her heart. Riyo rested her forehead against the basin seat, shaky breaths and quiet sobs causing her slight frame to tremble.
Riyo didn’t know how long she sat there, but she was beginning to notice the taste of vomit in her mouth, so she picked herself up and brushed her teeth. 
Glancing once more at her reflection, she wrapped her arms around herself and made her way to the bed. 
Maybe if she could get some sleep, maybe she would feel better. Maybe she would stop seeing Fox’s dead eyes whenever she closed hers.
------------
Riyo bolted up in bed, awoken by the sound of screams. It took a few panicked breaths before she realized that the screams she woke up to were her own. It took the same breaths to realize she couldn’t stop seeing dead clones killed yesterday behind her eyes. 
Except…
It wasn’t the 501st she was seeing, it was the bodies of the friends she had made in the Guard.
Fox’s body.
Riyo let out a sob. And then another. And then she couldn’t stop crying. 
She had never felt more like a child in her adult life than at that moment, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. 
In complete honesty, she wanted nothing more than to comm her mother. But she was asleep at this time, and Riyo worked hard to make sure her family knew as little about the dangers and negatives that came with her career.
Even as she was in emotional agony, Riyo didn’t want her family to know anything. She resigned herself to a sleepless night, but before she could pull herself together (but. She thought scornfully, maybe she wanted to let herself be broken, if only for tonight) her comm started flashing with an incoming message.
She stared blankly at the communicator before registering that someone was trying to contact her. 
She took a deep breath and answered the call, belatedly realizing she hadn’t checked who was contacting her. “This is Senator Chuchi speaking,” She was very proud of how her voice didn’t waver.
“Riyo?” The tinny voice questioned, and Riyo’s heart nearly stopped. A clone’s voice…? But there was only one clone that had both her personal comm code and felt comfortable calling her by her first name.
“Fox,” she gasped out and nearly broke then and there. The cool and collected senator she had mustered for the comm call was suddenly gone, and all that was left was a broken young woman. 
“Riyo? Riyo, what’s wrong?” Fox’s voice was full of concern and Riyo couldn’t stop a sob from escaping her lips. Her dreams and the events from the day before came rushing back to her and her heart was in agony all over again. Sudden;y, she was crying and mourning and tormented by memories all over again.
“Fox,” she sobbed, “Fox, I’m so sorry, I left them, it’s my fault, I wasn’t fast enough-” 
“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “Calm down for just a minute Ri’ka, What’s going on?”
“I left them, and they died and I left them and I can’t stop imagining you instead of them.”
“Oh ner kar’ta..”
Fox must have realized that he wouldn’t be able to get any information out of her so he resorted to murmuring sweet nothings in her ear and assurances that he was still alive and not going anywhere. 
“Cyare, can you help me? I want to make this a holocall so I can see you. Can you do that for me, darling?” 
Riyo nodded before remembering that he couldn’t see her yet and voiced a shaky affirmative.
The comm call transferred to her handheld holoprojector and seeing Fox’s face helped assure Riyo that he was real and not dead as in her dreams.
His expression was full of worry and concern and she felt a flash of guilt for worrying him so. Though, when his gaze rested on her figure his eyes softened, and he spoke gently.
“Ri’ka, please tell me what happened. Why are you so upset?”
So Riyo confided in him about the mission. About the dead clones in the base. About the Talz, about the Chairman and everything he did wrong. She stumbled over her words when it came to the battle and recalled all the men that had left to protect the chairman and the number of men still alive by the time she and the Jedi had arrived. 
“Fox, it was awful,” she buried her face in her hands and tried to stop the tears from running down her cheeks again. “So much death, and it was all needless. I-I’m so angry and frustrated and I feel so much guilt for just walking past their bodies. I wanted to bury every single one of them right then and there, but I had to make peace, and then I couldn’t think and I got on a gunship and-”
“Cyare, hold on,” Fox interrupted her, not unkindly. “Take a deep breath.”
Riyo did as he instructed and took several shaky breaths. When she felt calmer, she lifted her eyes to the person she trusted most out of everyone in the galaxy. His eyes were kind, but sharp as a tack as always, even through the haze of the holo. 
“Riyo,” he spoke gently, but firmly, “what happened was not your fault. From what you told me it was completely on Chairman Cho, and you were vital in stopping any more bloodshed from happening.”
“So many men died for nothing,” she protested weakly, her eyes mournful and glassy with unshed tears. “And I didn’t even stay to help.”
Fox’s hand twitched, as though he was about to move his hand to cup her face as he had done many times before. “I know, darling, but that is war. Sometimes battles are unnecessary but they happen anyway. Good people die for nothing. But we move on.”
“How?” She begs, “Fox, I don’t know how to stop seeing bodies every time I close my eyes, It’s not fair, why do people like me get to live when your brothers deserve so much more?”
Fox’s shoulders slump “It’s what we were created for Riyo,” and she flinches at his use of her name. In a single moment, something clicks, or snaps, or finds its place inside her, and she uncharacteristically snarls, shocking the commander. 
“I swear to you Fox,” her voice trembles, but not with sobs, rather with rage and conviction. “I swear,” she repeats, “I will find a way to end this war and stop your brothers from dying needless deaths. I will fight for this if it’s the last thing I do.”
-----------------
On Coruscant, Fox watches his runi fall into a righteous rage over the deaths of clones, and feels both incredible love for her and an immense fear, aware that if she plays her cards wrong, this cause will burn her up from the inside. 
“Riyo,” he speaks cautiously, “just… don’t forget to be careful. You’re no use to us dead.” He takes a shaky breath. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you to this.”
Riyo’s expression loses the fury it had held and slumped over in her bed, appearing more exhausted than anything. If he looks closely he can still see the fire in her eyes, but there is also mourning and love and a great deal of other emotions he can’t quite grasp the names of. 
“Of course, my moea,” she speaks quietly, “I promise, I’ll be careful.”
------------
After half an hour of speaking of better things, Riyo and Fox bid each other their goodnights.
As Riyo settled back into bed, (seeing as it was only two in the morning, she could still get some sleep before needing to be up,) her eyelashes fluttering shut, she promised herself one thing. 
As long as I still have breath in my body, I will fight to ensure no one goes through the agony of needless death in this war ever again.
-------------
ner kar’ta - my heart - mando’a
cyare - beloved - mando’a
moea - soul in southern sotho, one of the official languages of South Africa, (pantorans have south african accents and I wanted to have Riyo call Fox by an endearment in Pantoran, but I didn’t want to make it up, so here you go!)
runi - soul in mando’a
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redrobinhoood · 4 years
Text
Now where did that come from? | Whumptober2020
Internal Organ Injury
TW: Character Death, Graphic Descriptions, Blood
Summary: Cody tells Rex of a new Separatist weapon. Later, Rex comes face to face with it.
AO3 Link | Whumptober Index 
Rex slipped into the briefing room, hoping that his absence had yet to be noted. He would’ve been more informed if a certain general hadn’t wanted Rex’s last-minute advice on strategy. Not that Rex didn’t want to discuss how they were going to win, but he’d rather have done it before the men were assembling to leave.
“… The Seppies have been rolling out a new experimental detonator.” Cody held out a holoprojector in his hand with the image of a smooth, metal cube with a set of eyes on each face. “Droid circuitry, if it recognizes you it will detonate.” The image in his hand changed to the beginning of the explosion. “This device is designed to send out shrapnel in a ten-meter radius on each side. If you are within ten meters of this device when it explodes, you will die, and it will hurt the entire time you are dying. Am I clear?”
Good, Rex hadn’t missed the fun part of the briefing after all.
“Sir, yes, sir!” The chorus of voices rang out.
Cody nodded and the hologram disappeared. “Dismissed. Prep your gear, we set out in five.”
Rex waited for the gathered men to clear the room before he approached Cody, who had gathered the 501st and 212th medics around him. “…I know what I’m asking you to do is difficult at best, but you can’t place yourself in a vulnerable position for these men. If you can ease their passing, then do so, but this bomb was designed to leave no survivors.” Cody looked over to meet Rex’s gaze then turned back to the small group around him. “Keep yourselves alive.”
The medics nodded and dispersed, allowing Rex to approach Cody. “You’re not fooling around today, Codes.”
Cody shook his head with a sigh. “I shadowed General Kenobi to a test site for these things. I nearly lost my lunch. Some men are going to die a very painful death today.”
“They do every day.” Rex clapped his hand against Cody’s shoulder. “Come, the generals will be looking for us.”
For a moment, a feeling of dread washed over Rex. Then it was gone, and he and Cody began to slowly make their way over to their generals.
---
“Stop!”
Rex heard Cody’s shout ring out across the battlefield and turned to see his friend running towards a shiny. Then there were two explosions, one much closer than the other, and Rex fell to the ground as dirt rained over him. When he pushed himself back to his feet there was no sign of Cody or the shiny where they had stood.
Fighting down panic, Rex began to push forward towards their last position. He scrambled over the crest of a small hill to see Cody lying at the bottom of the slope. The shiny’s body lay further away, the white armor completely bloodied and still. Rex slid down the slope to Cody’s side, kneeling beside him and removing both of their helmets as he took Cody’s body in. He wished he hadn’t. Rex had seen the inside of his own chest spilling out onto the battlefield from the bodies of his brothers before, but he’d never imagined he would see Cody’s. Rex reached down before he hesitated, his hand hovering over the mass of ruined flesh and organs that had been shredded with broken plastoid and shrapnel. A few of Cody’s ribs had been broken. Rex tore his eyes away.
“The shiny.” Cody whimpered. “Did he…?”
Rex reached for Cody’s hands and squeezed them tight between his. “He’s okay. You took the worst of the blast.”
“Good.” The word gurgled in Cody’s throat and Rex placed a hand behind Cody’s neck, bringing his head forward so he could spit out the blood that was pooling in his mouth.
“Let me get a medic.”
“No! No. Please, stay.”
“Cody, I can’t help you.”
Cody smiled through bloody teeth up at Rex. “Just talk to me, please.”
Rex nodded even as a tear slid down his cheek. “I’ve been thinking about Kamino a lot lately. Do you remember when we used to go sit on the roof of the training facility? I miss those times. We’d go up there at night and talk about what we thought the Jedi would be like when they came for us.”
Cody made a weak gurgling noise. Rex couldn’t tell if it was in response to him or to the pain, or if it was Cody’s body fighting to stay alive as long as it could.
“Remember how we thought that they would be serious warriors? No nonsense types who had all the answers? How wrong we were. And I am so glad that we were wrong.”
Cody’s eyelids were beginning to flutter. His body shook as it tried to take in a deep breath. The attempt ended before it began with a great sucking noise and he was thrown into a weak coughing fit that left bubbles of red froth on his lips.
Rex leaned down and pressed his forehead to Cody’s. “Rest, brother.”
“Stay?” Cody’s request was barely a whisper, muffled by the thick blood that sat between his lungs and his lips.
Rex raised his head to meet Cody’s gaze. “Til the very end.” Rex slid his arm under Cody’s neck and pressed their heads together once more, supporting Cody’s head with his arm. With his other hand he squeezed Cody’s hands firmly. “Rest.”
Rex listened to the wet, sucking rattle of Cody’s breathing for a few seconds before he began to hum. He didn’t know the name of the song he was humming, nor what the lyrics were, but he did know the story. A soldier asking for a final dancing song before he went to war. He had heard Cody sing it before, back on Kamino and during the war. He wished now that he’d asked for the name.
He didn’t know when Cody had died or how long it had taken. Rex only knew that there was a moment when he stopped humming to breathe and was met with the sound of silence. He waited with bated breath to hear any signs of life in his brother, in his friend, but found none. Rex made a strangled noise as he tried to bite back a sob. He was still in the middle of a battle. He didn’t care. Keeping his head pressed against Cody’s, he wept, allowing his chest to rise and fall in great sobs. Let the droids find him, let them kill him.
Rex didn’t know how long he had knelt over Cody’s body, only that when the sobs began to subside, the sounds of battle were fading. It sounded like the Republic had won. Rex would not be executed by the droids today. He let go of Cody’s hands and sat up, ignoring the ache in his back as he took in Cody’s face for the last time. He ran a finger over Cody’s scar before he leaned over once more and planted a light kiss against Cody’s forehead. He remembered the time that Cody had done the same for him. Rex had come to him with a newly painted helmet with jaig eyes and Cody had brought their foreheads together before planting a light kiss on Rex’s. That had been the last time that they had truly been happy.
Rex slowly rose to his feet, and put his helmet back on, hiding the tear tracks that stained his cheeks. He knelt over one last time to take Cody’s helmet from the soil and tucked it under his arm. Later, he would ask for a piece of Cody’s armor to blend with his own. But, now, Rex slowly turned away from his brother’s body and began to walk back to the Republic.
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Meeting Again // Obi-Wan Kenobi
XFEMALE!READER
Summary: You and Obi-Wan met when he was just a Padawan, and he and his Master had come to your planet to discuss business with your father. A decade later, you meet again.
TW: None that I am aware of, if you come across one please let me know and I will put in the warning.
A fair warning that this one-shot is terribly written as I’m getting used to writing for Obi-Wan, so bear with me! 
Walking behind your father to the docking bay, the small puff of air that rose from the ground as the Jedi’s ship landed swished your dress around you. You moved to stand next to your father as the door opened, revealing a Jedi Master and his young Padawan. The Jedi Master was an attractive man in a rugged way. His hair was long and pulled back, and his robe covered his body. He was handsome, but it was his young Padawan that caught your eye. His hair was short and spiky bar the small braid that draped over his strong shoulder. A single beauty mark sat beneath his eye. His face was serious as he and his Master made their way over to where you and your father were standing, but you could see a small glint of playfulness in his eyes. 
“Senator Lou’rei, a pleasure to meet you. My name is Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Qui-Gon held his hand out for your father to shake then gestured to the handsome young man standing slightly behind his Master. 
Obi-Wan bowed slightly, making eye contact with you as he stood straight again. You saw his eyes widen slightly and a small smile came to rest on his lips as you looked straight back at him. 
“This is my middle daughter, Y/N. How about the two young ones go for a walk while you and I discuss business, hmm?” Your father turned to you with a smile, encouraging you to step forward and show the handsome Padawan around your home. 
Obi-Wan held out his arm to you gently slip your hand onto, leading the both of you away from the men about to talk business. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Y/N,” a small smile graced his lips once again. 
“Likewise, Mr. Kenobi,” you blushed. He really was rather cute. “And please, just call me Y/N.”
“Then you must call me Obi-Wan in return, Y/N,” Obi-Wan put emphasis on your name with a wink, making your blush even deeper as a laugh left your mouth. 
“Of course, Obi-Wan.” You nudged him with your shoulder gently. “Care to see the gardens?”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Wandering through the exotic plants that made up the gardens of your home, you and Obi-Wan had yet to let go of each other. His overwhelming warmth kept you drawn to him, and he couldn’t seem to bring himself to pull away from your touch. Your hand felt so natural on his arm, like it could stay there forever and he would never object. 
“Tell me, Obi-Wan,” your voice was as gentle as the flower’s petals you were stroking, “what is it like to be a Jedi?” You had been walking together for close to an hour, and you were loving every second you got to spend talking to the young man.
Obi-Wan didn’t have the heart to tell you he wasn’t technically a Jedi just yet, that he was only training to be one under the guidance of his master. “It’s incredible. I have seen so many things and learned so much more than I ever could have hoped to. I have seen some of the most beautiful sights known to the galaxy.” He looked straight at you as he said that. 
The thought of Obi-Wan finding you beautiful flustered you. You picked at the fabric of your dress sleeve as you remembered something your father had once told you. “Doesn’t it get lonely? Not being allowed to love anyone?” 
That stopped Obi-Wan short. He hadn’t thought of that, he’d never had to. Not until now, at least. “I suppose it can sometimes, but even just knowing certain people exist make it all worth it.” He stared straight into your eyes again as he said that. 
“Obi-Wan-”
“Y/N-”
You cut each other off. A small chuckle left both of your mouths. 
“You first,” you squeezed his arm. 
He smiled at you gratefully. “Y/N, I just wanted to say that I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I know that Jedi aren’t allowed to have attachments, but I really do hope we can see each other again.” 
You smiled up at him and stood in front of him and held both of his hands in your own. “I hope we do too, Obi-Wan. You are by far the most handsome person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting.”
“I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s okay with you,” he mumbled quietly, tightening his grasp on your hands. He could forgive himself to break the code just this once.
“I’d like that very much,” you beamed. 
You pushed yourself onto your tiptoes and he leant down to meet your lips halfway. His lips were soft, and the hand he placed on your waist did nothing to calm your racing heart. You knew it was wrong, to be kissing a Jedi in the middle of a garden, even if no one else was around to see the two of you, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care, and neither could Obi-Wan.
Slowly the two of you broke apart, just as you heard two pairs of footsteps make their way down the corridor to the gardens. You both let go of each other and turned just in time to see your father and Qui-Gon make their way towards you. You could see the knowing and accepting look Qui-Gon had in his eyes, causing you to blush and duck your head.
“Obi-Wan, we must be leaving. The Council needs to be informed of what Senator Lou’rei and I have discussed. It was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” The man bowed on your direction, the action quickly followed by his Padawan.
“Likewise, Master Qui-Gon,” you returned with a small dip of your head. 
The journey back to the Jedi ship was shorter than both you and Obi-Wan had hoped, sharing small glances and smiles as you walked side by side, just close enough for your hands to brush against each other now and then. 
Once at the ship, goodbyes were exchanged once again as the two men boarded the ship. Standing slightly behind your father, he couldn’t see the small kiss you blew to Obi-Wan. As the hatch started to close, you could see Obi-Wan’s hand rise to ‘catch’ the kiss, placing it in his robe and patting it’s hiding place. 
Watching the ship pull out of it’s dock, you realised that might very well be the last time you ever see Obi-Wan, and a small amount of sadness settled itself into your chest, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to regret the experience you’d just had with the young Padawan. 
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It had been almost 11 years since the Jedi had come to visit you and your father, and 11 years since you met Obi-Wan Kenobi. You hadn’t forgotten him, his spiky hair and cheeky little grin that showed all of his teeth. 
His face ran through your head as your ship landed in a bay on Coruscant. It had been a long time since you had seen him. Many things had changed since then. You were nearly 30, and had grown into your beauty over the years.You often found yourself wondering how he was, or what he was up to. 
 Shaking the thoughts of the man from your head, you made your way to the Jedi Temple in search of the High Council Tower. Your flight suit made you stand out from all of the people clad in robes, but their confused staring did little to deter you from your quest. You had to deliver a message from your father to Master Yoda and his Council. 
As you walked through the corridors you finally made your way to a large door that lead to a large open space. Stepping through, the first thing you noticed the way the seats were set up, in a circle. Right in front of you as you walked in, you saw Yoda.
You took a step forward. “Master Yoda, I bring some information in the stead of my father, Senator Lou’rei.”
A startled gasp came from your left, and you looked over to see a man stand up straight out of his red seat. He was bearded, and his face had weathered a little, but he was still unmistakably Obi-Wan Kenobi. He no longer had his Padawan braid, and his hair was a bit longer. Obi-Wan’s shoulders had broadened and you found yourself wanting to reach out and rest your hands upon them. He had definitely aged like fine Corellian whiskey. 
“Y/N? Is that you?” Oh, Maker, even his voice got better. 
Before you could answer, Master Yoda’s voice filled the previously silent room. “Adjourned, this meeting shall be. Much to catch up on, you two have.” A small smirk rested on his small green face and his ears upturned slightly. The voices the other Council members that had started to protest were cut short by Master Yoda’s small green hand rising into the air. “Spoken, I have.”
That spurred Obi-Wan forward. He came to stand in front of you, and offered his arm much like he had some 11 years prior. You looked to Master Yoda and saw him smiling at this small exchange between the two of you. Yoda’s acceptance of the two of you meeting once again encouraged you to place your hand on Obi-Wan’s arm and let him lead you from the room to explore the corridors. 
“Y/N-”
“Obi-Wan-”
You both chuckled, reminded of that day in the gardens. 
“You first,” he smiled down at you. 
You blushed. “I was just going to say that I’ve missed you.”
He laid his hand free hand on your hand that rested in the crook of his elbow. “I’ve missed you too, Y/N. If I’m perfectly honest with you, I’ve thought about you quite a bit over the last decade.”
“I’d be lying if I didn’t agree that I’ve thought about you too. I must say, Obi, you got even more handsome in the last 11 years.”
“Oh-I-uhm,” he spluttered at the nickname, “thank you.” His face tinged red under his beard, and you thought it was probably one of the most endearing things you’ve ever seen. He wanted to comment on how you were just as beautiful as he remembers you being, but he decided against it. Instead, he looked around to see if anyone was there to see you, and after deciding that the coast was clear, he leant down and brushed your lips with his. 
He pulled away too quickly for you to respond to the peck. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I couldn’t he-”
“Shut up, Obi, and kiss me again.”
He looked at you in shock, so you took matters into your own hands. Your hands wrapped around the collar of his beige robes and pulled him down to meet your lips once again. 
His lips were just as soft as you remembered. His hands had trouble finding where they wanted to rest, but he finally settled with one on your hip and one on your cheek. His new beard tickled your skin which drew a little giggle from you, and Obi-Wan smiled at the sound.
His thumb caressed your cheekbone as the kiss finally came to an end. You both pulled back slightly to look into each other's eyes. In Obi-Wan’s eyes you couldn’t see anything other than adoration and unbridled affection, and you were sure that was what he could see in yours. As you shared gazes, the thought of breaking the Jedi Code didn’t cross either of your minds. For now, you were both content with just being together again. 
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