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lacontroller1991 · 1 year

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A Chance to Start Over (Obi-Wan Kenobi x F!Reader)

Main Master List || Star Wars Master List

Author’s Note: back again with another angsty Obi-Wan fic. Poor mans just really needs to be taken care of and loved on I stg

Warnings: 18+ Post Order 66, Post Obi-Wan “killing” Anakin, male nudity (nothing explict), slight PTSD if you squint, sad sad Obi, crying Obi, Obi just needs some loving

Word Count: 1.2k

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It’s near midnight in Coruscant but you’re not asleep. How could you when you don’t know where he is or if he is even alive. It’s been about three days since the attack on the temple happened and you haven’t slept since. Realistically, you know that Obi-Wan was offworld and not at the temple, but after what Bail had told you about the clones turning on the Jedi, you could only pray that Obi-Wan made it out alive and unharmed.

A soft knock startles you as you whip your head to the door. To your knowledge you weren’t expecting any visitors, and even if you were, it definitely wouldn’t be this late at night, which gives you foolish hope. Creeping toward the door, you hesitantly open it only to let out a sigh of relief. “Obi-Wan.”

“I lost.”

He doesn’t say anything else before he’s pushing past you through the barrier into your haven as you shut the door making sure to lock it before you look the Jedi over; soot covering his skin, sweat matting his once soft hair and various burn marks on his robes. “I couldn’t save them.” He collapses on your couch, not moving an inch as you take a seat next to him, grabbing a hold of his dirty hand.

“Couldn’t save who?”

“Padme. Anakin.” His voice is somber as you hitch your breath. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you thread your pristine fingers through his rough ones as you inhale his scent, grounding you to him.

“What happened?”

“Anakin, he, turned to the dark side and Padme died during childbirth. I had no choice but to kill Anakin.” Your eyes widen at his confession as you turn to him, looking him over with pity as you grab his chin between your fingers.

“Obi… I don’t know what to say.” Softly, you press your lips to his forehead, not really caring that there’s layers of grime on it.

At the softness of your touch Obi-Wan loses control of his emotions as tears fall freely, leaving trails down his cheeks as he sobs into you and all you can do is to hold him tight. After a couple of minutes not separating, Obi-Wan finally pulls away and looks down at himself sheepishly. “I’m sorry darling, I didn’t realize how dirty I am. How dirty I made you.”

Shaking your head softly, you move to stand up and press a kiss to the crown of his head. “Just wait here.” Moving quickly, you enter your bathroom and turn on the faucet to your bath, letting the tub fill with warm water while you grab some dark towels and some spare clothes that Obi-Wan keeps here in case of emergency. Walking back into the living room, you find Obi-Wan slightly dozing off, exhaustion taking over his body. With a soft smile, you make your way over to the Jedi and shake him awake, him immediately shooting up off the couch and in a defensive position only to calm down when he sees you. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He lets out a huff of frustration before you lean up and press a kiss on his lips.

“It’s okay, Obi. How about I get you cleaned up?” He wordlessly nods as you lead him to the bathroom before stripping him of his clothes and leaving him in the nude in front of you, but if he cared, he made no notion of it. Gesturing to the tub, Obi-Wan gives you a tired smile as he steps into the warm water, letting out a groan as the hot water combats against his worn muscles. Given any other circumstance, you would find that groan to be rather enticing and it wouldn’t take you long to hop in the tub with him, but now is not one of those times.

Grabbing a washcloth, you dip it into the water and later some soap onto his body as you gently scrub away the layers of dirt on his skin while he lets his blue eyes close. “What happened to the baby Padme was carrying?”

Cracking open an eye, Obi-Wan watches you in the reflection of the mirror scrub away on his shoulder, the water slowly turning darker and darker as he turns to look at you. Oh how he missed your face. From the moment he met you, he knew he was done for. Jedi Code aside, he knew that if it came down to you or the Order, he would choose you in a heartbeat, which is about to make what he has to say so hard for you and him.

“She was carrying twins. Luke and Leia. Bail took Leia to Alderaan and I took Luke to Tatooine. Master Yoda and I decided that it would be the best if they were split up.” Nodding your head, you can’t help but to feel a pang of pity for the twins. They’ll probably never get to meet their other half and the thought saddens you. Sensing Obi-Wan is holding something back, you set down the wash cloth and lightly kiss his freckled shoulder.

“Is there something else?”

“I can’t stay on Coruscant. The Empire… they’re going to be looking for me. I need to go into hiding.” His words feel like a knife plunging into your heart. Surely he isn’t suggesting that you and him leave each other? Right? “I’m afraid that we’ll have to say our goodbyes.”

“No.”

“No?” With both hands, you grasp onto his face and make eye contact with the one that you love.

“No. You are not doing this to me. To us. I’ll go with you. I’ll start over with you.”

Removing your hands from his face, Obi-Wan shakes his head in remorse. “You know I can’t ask that of you. I can’t ask you to leave your work, your home.”

“I don’t care about any of that, Kenobi. The senate is gone anyways. It’s not the republic that we both knew. I’ll take a trip to Vidia. I’ll move to elect another representative for my spot. I’ll run away with you. Please, let me.”

“I won’t be able to give you a home that you deserve. We’ll constantly have to be in hiding, you deserve better than that. You deserve a happy life.” Scoffing at his nonsense, you pick up the rag again and continue to clean him.

“Obi… I don’t care what you’re able to give me. As long as I have you, that’s all I need in my life. You make me happy, and all I want to do is to love you.” At your confession, Obi-Wan lets out a choked sob as he closes his eyes, trying to hold the tears at bay.

“You’d do all that, for me?”

“Obi-Wan, I’d do anything in the galaxy for you. Now let me finish getting you cleaned up and then we can get some sleep.”

“That sounds amazing. And darling?”

“Hmm?” “Thank you.” It’s soft but it makes your lips twitch upwards as you pick up some shampoo.

“You’re welcome, now tilt your head back,” and he does, easily complying to your command, though he never really had an issue with that before and he doesn’t think that he will ever have an issue with that again.

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Author’s Note: SO THERE WAS THAT. I hope you guys enjoyed the angst and the soft caretaking because he deserves it.

General Tag List: @marvelousmermaid @himbovillain-anon @babblydrabbly @fairchildflag @a-reader-and-a-writer @tavners

#obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan kenobi #ben kenobi x reader #ewan mcgregor #star wars prequels #obi wan kenobi x fem!reader #Star Wars Revenge of the Sith #Obi wan kenobi series #Disney plus #lacontroller1991 #obi wan needs a hug

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audreysmusings · 2 years

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you, entirely | obi-wan kenobi

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x female!reader

part I

summary: obi-wan kenobi’s relationship with the reader over the years. reader is a senator & the pair navigate their complicated relationship over the events of episode I & II.

setting: breaks in between the movies, please don’t think too hard on it because the timeline is a bit fuzzy to me in general :)

word count: 5.7k (HOLY SMOKES)

warning(s): canon typical violence, me not fully understanding the prequels & politics please forgive me, probs some inconsistencies with star wars canon, kissing

author’s note: hey everyone! i promise i’m still working on “your friend, ben” i just have had this story stuck on my mind for a while. i plan on expanding this into a second part because we don’t really see what the intro alludes to with it’s angsty description (it will come, i promise!). i’m nervous about how this will be received only because i’m not as well versed with the ins & outs of the prequels. that being said, i still hope you can find something to enjoy within this.

thank you!

What are we? You had asked him. Doomed, forbidden, foolish. Those were the words that came to mind. Good, heavenly, wonderful echoed in his mind, louder. Obi-Wan could not understand how something so right could be the very antithesis of his being.

He had been warned of this very thing. He had been told to guard his heart. He had been told not to stray from his purpose. He did not listen. He couldn’t help it, really. He was convinced that it was fate, something even Master Yoda could not deny.

Something so strong that no amount of training could stop him from loving you. It was blunt and forceful, ironic considering his devotion to the force is what kept him from you.

It had started off innocently enough, merely as a pursuit of companionship with you. When you had first met Obi-Wan it was before the true weight of the war was known, before the death of democracy and freedom. Both of you were far younger and more hopeful. With blazing eyes and determined hearts, you each shared a passion for helping others.

That was probably the first thing Obi-Wan noticed about you, your selfless and compassionate nature. You’d admired his strong sense of duty and morality. It was a shame you’d grow to become a threat to those traits.

Your first encounter was simple enough, Obi-Wan was assigned to oversee your appointment as a senator and your induction into the Republic. The ceremonies had gone well, no need for Jedi interference after all, and there was a party being hosted in your honor.

After Obi-Wan essentially lived as your shadow over the three week long process, you’d grown to enjoy his company and, though you’d never admit it aloud, crave it. Obi-Wan always told you the truth, something you valued considering the lack of it in politics. He was a righteous man with a good heart, you didn’t take his character for granted.

You’d insisted on him making an appearance at the party and with enough convincing on your part, he obliged.

You kept me safe this entire time, the least I can do is let you to partake in the festivities! Sort of a means to an end, you had told him.

Obi-Wan had argued that since there was no danger there was really no reason for him to celebrate.

You then commanded him that your first act as a senator would be demanding Jedi involvement at the party, specifically, a dance.

So obliged maybe wasn’t the right terminology, forced was more fitting.

Nevertheless and ever the dutiful Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi made his appearance. What harm could acting as your shadow for one more night do?

Though he loathed politicians, he found himself enjoying the evening. Even if he was just watching as a figure in the background, he could see the joy radiating off of you in your smile and how thrilled you were for your future. It was something you’d worked hard for, after all.

You had been busy chatting with your guests and attending to the caterers, making sure to thank them before you recognized Obi-Wan. You approached him with a grin and refrained from pulling him into a hug, instead extending your arm for a handshake.

His hand grasped your own and he shook it gently, a small smile forming on his face.

“How do you feel?” You asked excitedly.

“Glad that you stayed safe.” He answered sincerely.

“Thanks to you.” You pointed out. “I’m grateful, truly.”

“Well, on behalf of the council, I’d like to congratulate you on the beginning of an exciting career.”

Your nose wrinkled at his formality, “Hearing you refer to politics as exciting has got to be a bigger surprise than you actually showing up here.”

He chuckled lightly at that, “I suppose so.” He then continued with a hint of a smirk, “But if I remember correctly, this was an order from you, Senator.”

The emphasis on the way he said senator made your stomach flutter, but you shoved the sensation down. You rolled your eyes at his retort and broke eye contact, glancing around as live music started to play and couples began to pair up.

Before you could say something fill the silence, Obi-Wan spoke up.

“I would have come either way.” He announced. “I must admit while this is not my scene, I’ve enjoyed your company.”

You turned back to him with a shocked expression, his admission leaving you silent.

“For a politician, you don’t seem to have a lot to say.” He quipped.

You blinked at him, dumbfounded, and cleared your throat before speaking, “As a politician, I’m not used to blatant honesty. You’ve simply surprised me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

He frowned slightly, “Is that good or bad?”

You eyed him with an amused expression, “For an all powerful Jedi, you seem to have a lot of questions.”

He laughed and you joined in, embracing the warmth that came from the interaction.

“You really are a politician.” He said, laughter still evident on his expression.

“And you really are as noble as they say.”

Obi-Wan smiles and his eyes only seem to amplify the tenderness behind it.

“I have something for you.”

He quirks his brow up at your statement, “Oh?”

You fumble in your pocket before pulling out a silver pendant attached to a brown leather band. It’s engraved with the Jedi emblem and a branch of leaves weaving through it. You hand it to him and he gently places it in his palm, tracing the indentions in the silver stone.

“The branch represents friendship and good-intent, it’s a message for anyone who encounters my planet, one of hope.” You explain, watching as he inspects the piece.

“I hope it’s not too much or anything, I just wanted you to have something as a token of my thanks.”

He looks up with an unreadable expression and pockets the trinket, “It’s perfect, really. Thank you.”

You nod, “I wanted to give it to you before you left, you know, as something to remember me by.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to forget you.” He admits.

“Now you’re really mocking me, Obi-Wan.” You say lightheartedly, refusing to even acknowledge the vulnerability from his last statement.

Obi-Wan’s mouth opens to reply, but a man comes to your side and offers you his hand.

“I’d love a dance, Senator.”

You smile gracefully and accept the man’s offer, bowing to Obi-Wan before mouthing a silent goodbye.

He watches as you dance with the man and twiddles with the pendant in his pocket. The words ‘it represents friendship’ echo in his mind. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t touched by your actions. Obi-Wan had grown fond of you over the past few weeks, something he wasn’t sure what exactly to do with.

As the party died down and guests started to leave, the young Jedi still remained. He was leaning against a column in the foyer before you finally noticed his presence after waving goodbye to a guest.

Your furrowed your brows when you saw him, “You’re still here?”

He nodded, “My job isn’t done yet.”

“I haven’t requested anything else.” You replied, confusion evident in your voice.

“I believe I owe you a dance.”

That surprised you.

Two for the Jedi, none for the senator.

“I was only teasing when I requested that.” You explained.

“I know.”

Obi-Wan extended his hand towards you. You cocked your head at him with as if asking really?

He offered you a reassuring smile and nod in return, beckoning you towards him. A childlike grin, despite your best efforts, found itself upon your face. You approached him slowly and bowed before placing your hand in his. His other arm went around your waist and you placed your free hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. The music playing was somewhat slow and let the two of you fall into a nice pattern of swaying.

You felt the warmth radiating off of his body and decided to lean into his touch, craning your neck to speak lowly in his ear, “You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I don’t mind.” He answered simply.

You pursed your lips and continued to sway with the music, “I didn’t realize dancing was part of a Jedi’s duty.”

He shrugged and dipped you slowly, flashing you the most infuriatingly handsome grin, “It’s not. I just happen to be good at it.”

Your head rolled back as you laughed at his cockiness, something you didn’t expect from him. He joined you in laughter and as you faced him once more it became clear how close your bodies really were.

“Besides, it’s the least I could do.” He offered.

“For what?” You asked him.

The music swelled and he then spun you out before pulling you back into him gently.

Ever so close.

“As a thank you. For your company.”

His cool breath fanned over your lips as he spoke.

“It was my pleasure.” You respond, never breaking eye contact.

You continue to dance together, both of you pretending not to notice how close you’ve gotten and how the air around you has shifted. The music has slowed significantly and you continue to look at one another while swaying, your eyes reflecting what could only be described as tenderness.

His gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips and if there ever was a time where a kiss was expected, it was now. Obi-Wan slowly leaned closer into you, leaving your noses brushing against one another, your lips one slight move away from touching. A silent question hung in the air, a question asked by him, with an answer expected from you.

But you knew it wouldn’t do any good. He should’ve known that, but he didn’t seem to care. You were frozen, not giving into the moment, but not wanting to give it up either. It was a weird feeling, to want something so bad and withhold from it, only to keep the tension of it alive.

Just as the weight of everything started to crush in on you and you considered the possibility of leaning in, the song ended and couples around you broke contact, bowing to one another. You both stayed locked in your embrace. It felt as if the air around you had stilled and no one else was around.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before breaking the contact and smoothing your gown. When you look back at the man in front of you his expression is unreadable, yet again.

You nod at him, hoping it says everything you’re feeling, but knowing that’s not possible.

He smiles, understanding an implied thank you from you this time, “It was my honor.”

You start to walk away, but he reaches out and squeezes your hand gently.

“I look forward to hearing about everything you do, Senator.”

You turn around and smile warmly, “And I, you.”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he’d see you again, but he kept the pendant from you, he didn’t delve too far into why. He kept it fastened to a loop on his belt, a reminder of your friendship.

It was a year or so before he saw you again. You both had changed a lot since then. You were well into your career, a successful one at that, and he had been busy with his padawan, Anakin Skywalker.

You were relocating permanently to Coruscant to be closer to the senate and more involved in your work. What you hadn’t expected was to run into Obi-Wan Kenobi right as you arrived at the capital.

“Senator!” A familiar voice called out.

You recognized the smooth voice instantly as he called out your name this time, no title necessary. When you turned around, you were face to face with the Jedi master and his padawan. He looked good, you noted. His hair had grown out and his features were somehow even more handsome than before.

“Master Kenobi, it’s a pleasure.” You greeted warmly, a genuine smile gracing your face.

His eyes twinkled and he returned the smile with his own brilliant kind.

The kind that would make you swoon.

The kind you needed to stay away from.

“The pleasure is all mine, I’ll have you know I’ve been keeping up with your career since just a year ago.” He admitted, almost bashfully. “You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

You chuckled lightly, “I’m honored that a humble senator like me would even cross the mind of a grand Jedi master, you must have an abundance of free time.”

Obi-Wan’s gaze shifted to the young man before him and he shook his head, “Not with this one around, I’m afraid.”

You directed your attention to the padawan and smiled kindly, “You must be Anakin.”

He nodded and extended his hand to yours, “I take it Obi-Wan has mentioned me before?”

You take his hand in yours and shake it firmly, “No, I only assumed.”

Anakin seems somewhat dejected. Obi-Wan arches his brow at your comment and you smile knowingly.

“You’re not the only one who’s kept tabs over the past year.”

“I’m flattered, Senator.”

Anakin’s eyes shifted between the two of you, you chose to ignore it.

So did Obi-Wan.

“Well, Obi-Wan, it’s my first time in Coruscant not confined to the Senate building and I can tell I’ve been missing out tremendously.”

He nods.

“What might a humble senator like me do on her off hours in such a place?” You inquired.

Obi-Wan considered your statement, taking it as more of a proposition than anything.

“Allow a friend to escort her wherever she pleases.” He answered finally.

You grinned at the Jedi and felt a warmth envelope your chest.

Maybe this move wouldn’t be so bad after all.

After he had dismissed his padawan, Obi-Wan dedicated the rest of his day to allowing you to explore the city and showing you all of his favorite spots.

He brought you to Dex’s for a meal, showed you an art exhibit that was his personal favorite, and even brought you to the temple gardens. You made note of a shop he pointed out mentioning it was where he bought good teas from.

You noticed through your trip that Obi-Wan was far more open now, something you think was good for him. He teased and even flirted, another thing you certainly weren’t going to complain about.

It felt as if you’d only seen each other the day before and no time had passed at all. The sound of his laughter was something you didn’t even know you had missed. His time in your life just a year ago, while significant, was only a three week period. It was strange how much a shared past could bond two people.

When you stopped for caf in the city, Obi-Wan was messing with his belt under his robe, “I want to show you something.”

“You’re making it very easy for me to take this in the wrong context.” You teased, eyeing the way he was fumbling with his belt.

He huffed lightly in amusement, “I assure you Senator, I would never.”

He continued to struggle before he grinned and extended his palm towards you, proudly displaying a stone pendant attached to a leather band.

You gasped lightly, “You still have that, after all this time?”

He nodded, “Of course I do. It’s a token of friendship, you don’t throw that away.”

You chuckled at his seriousness, “You’re right.”

“I’ve kept it fastened on my belt, I wasn’t sure why, but I just felt the need to keep it.”

“Politician’s guilt.” You joked, taking the pendant in your hand, examining it.

Obi-Wan smiled at you, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“I’m impressed it’s not blown to pieces by now with all the action you see.” You mused.

“Actually I’m impressed you didn’t throw it away after I’d given it to you.” You said casually, running the smooth stone against your fingers.

He furrowed his brows in confusion, “Now why would I do that?”

“I didn’t think you liked me. You were so serious, so stoic.” You teased.

He frowned, “I’m not stoic.”

Maker, even his frown was handsome.

You grinned at him, “There, that’s what I mean!”

His frown deepened, “What?”

You tried to hold in a laugh, but your amused expression betrayed you.

“What is so funny?” He insisted.

His frustration only made his sharp features more handsome, but you’d never tell him that.

“Your expression, it’s the very face of stoicism itself.” You finally explained.

Obi-Wan scoffed and rolled his eyes, “That’s just my face!”

You shook your head and laughed lightly, “Besides, it was clear you didn’t like politicians, I never considered myself exempt from that.”

“You’re crazy! I was in awe of you Senator, your passion was remarkable and if anything, I was intimidated by your presence.”

You shrugged, “I don’t remember it like that.”

“If I remember correctly, I came to your after party and danced with you.” He argued. “I don’t see how you could misread my feelings towards you.”

“A party I requested your presence at, and a dance I demanded from you.” You countered.

“I told you I would’ve come either way.”

You pursed your lips, “Then I guess we were both equally as clueless.”

He sighed, “I suppose I’ll work on my stoicism, but you need to work on reading me if we’re to continue this friendship.”

You grinned and placed the pendant back in his hand, “Deal.”

Obi-Wan had ended the night by escorting you to your new apartment and with a gentle kiss to your the top of your hand. You were shocked by his informality, but in no way was it something you’d dare to bring up to the Jedi. He did not address the intimacy from the moment so you went along with it.

That was the start of his fall from grace.

Since that day, the two of you stayed close companions. He’d be seen escorting you to and from senate meetings, making sure you arrive safely. You could be found seeking out his company whenever you got the chance. Whether it was exploring the capital together or simply meeting for tea in the afternoon, you always made time for each other.

At the beginning, Obi-Wan was frequently questioned on his apparent attachment to you. He’d always write it off as looking out for you, pointing out that he witnessed the start of your career and had maintained a healthy friendship with you since. It seemed to satisfy those who inquired.

The questioning did not stop on his end however, you were also constantly asked of the nature of your relationship. You insisted it nothing more than a sense of safety and protection, something engrained in your being since the start of your career. You teased that it was his way of keeping himself from being lonely.

The two of you became a well known pairing across the capital, something the council did not approve of, but couldn’t really do anything about. Obi-Wan had assured them time and time again there were no attachments outside of the kind you have for an old friend or colleague.

You just happened to be both.

Besides, they had no reason not to trust him. You didn’t harm his image in any way, in fact, you seemed to have enhanced it. For a Jedi who hates politicians to be seen so close with a Senator spread the message of unity within the capital. Something no one would deny.

It wasn’t until a rather compromising conversation that made you worry of the Jedi’s affections for you.

“I think I’m going to get married.” You had told him.

Your announcement had shocked him, you weren’t courting anyone or known to have any close relationships besides him.

Instead of showing his surprise he simply sipped his tea and set the cup down, “When’s this happening?”

You sighed, “Well, my team seems to think it will help my image. An alliance with someone powerful is what they want.”

He hums slightly, “What do you want?”

“To not have to be married to be taken seriously.” You answered honestly.

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding.

“But, the more I think about it, the more it seems to be a reality I need to face.”

His brows furrowed, “You’re powerful enough without an alliance or marriage.”

You placed your head in your hands, “I know, I know. It’s an insult really, but one they continue to throw in my face until I eventually give in.”

Obi-Wan moved closer to you and bumped his shoulder against yours gently, “They should know better than to expect that from someone as stubborn as you.”

You chuckled and returned the gesture, leaning into him slightly, “You’re right.”

“Besides, what happens when you find someone you love and want to marry?” He asked.

“I don’t think I will ever marry.” You confessed. “Not for love anyways.”

Obi-Wan frowned, “What else is there to marry for?”

“Wealth, power, influence.” You listed out plainly.

“You’re sounding like a real politician now.” He said with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“I know. It’s a shame.” You sigh dramatically.

He laughs at your antics before taking another sip from his cup.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about this, Obi-Wan.”

“Don’t get married.” He offers. “Tell them you won’t do it unless it was for love, that way you never have to. Then it’s an honorable lie.”

You consider his solution, nodding thoughtfully.

“That would work.”

“Don’t let it get out though, otherwise you’ll have loads of people hoping to woo you.” Obi-Wan warns, half teasing, half serious.

You chuckle lightly, “I doubt anyone would care. If anything I will have sealed my fate as the spinster senator.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Obi-Wan says. “I think you’re far more alluring than you realize.”

His comment makes you pause. It was frustrating how much of an effect his words had on you. Obi-Wan was always able to make something monumental sound like the most simple and true statement in the world.

“I think you’re far too fond of me to see reality.” You say finally.

You were right. He was far too fond of you.

Instead of arguing further, Obi-Wan basked in the silence you shared. Not an awkward kind, it was natural, comfortable even. Something he’d grown used to over the past few years.

Still, he could sense you wanted to ask something. It was radiating off of your body every second you spent in silence.

“You want to say something. I can feel it.”

You shift slightly towards him, resting your hands on your knees, “I’m not sure if I should. I wouldn’t want to offend you.”

His nose wrinkles, “I know you well enough to know you’d never miss an opportunity to offend me.”

“It’s a serious question.” You explain.

He hums, “Ah, I promise to answer it seriously then.”

You take a deep breath, choosing your words carefully, “I’ve just never heard of a Jedi having opinions on love.”

Your question doesn’t bother him. He nods in understanding.

“We don’t.” He answers. “But my master was more liberal in his approach to such matters. When I was younger, it was something I thought about often. How could we call ourselves protectors without love or attachments? I think love, whether it’s platonic, romantic, or familial, it strengthens us.”

He continues, his voice growing soft, “While my duties prevent me of experiencing it, I think of marriage as sacred and a celebration of love. Not something for politics to exploit.”

The words rolled right off his tongue so naturally, it was hard not to be somewhat affected by his confession, but you knew better than to go down that path. You weren’t sure what to say without compromising your heart even further, so you opted for telling the truth, a bitter one that stung.

“I think that’s beautiful, Obi-Wan.”

“I do too.” He affirmed.

You stay silent, your face pinched in contemplation.

“What?”

“If it were up to you, would you do it?” You almost whispered, fearing your words would shatter the tranquility around you, scare him away.

He doesn’t respond, he only looks at you earnestly before taking in a deep breath and nodding.

You don’t say anything.

“Knowing myself, I probably would’ve tried to marry you by now.” He confesses.

Your body stills next to him. With those words, it was Obi-Wan who had effectively shattered the air around you, leaving both of you helpless and surrounded by the aftermath of his sharp tongue.

He reaches out to take your hand, but you avoid his embrace with a swift recoil of your hand. It burned hot where his fingers had lightly grazed yours.

Your name falls off his lips, soft and light, but you interject.

“I think it’s best if you leave.”

Obi-Wan didn’t argue. In fact, he agreed with you. He wasn’t sure what came over him to be so honest, so blatant, and so not the Jedi he should be. Instead, he was a fool going down the very path he was instructed, begged, not to.

After he left, you spent hours revisiting various tender moments you’d shared, analyzing them and going down a tunnel you knew you shouldn’t. That one comment had managed to offset years of pushing away feelings and burying them deep. It made you reconsider your stance with the Jedi.

But before any headway could be made, Obi-Wan had come back to your quarters that night with an apology for his behavior. You accepted and only wished you two would not address the interaction again. He agreed.

It was a month before you saw him after that and the circumstances were far from glamourous. He’d been injured critically on a mission and it was entirely your fault. It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a simple humanitarian trip you were taking to an outer rim planet. Obi-Wan was there as your guard, per your request, but you had assured him it wasn’t anything more than a peaceful visit. You were wrong.

It was a blur mostly, how everything went down. One minute you were in a crowd handing out rations and supplies with your crew and the next thing you knew there was a loud rumble and screams. You had reacted quickly, warning the people around you and helping them to what you hoped were safe buildings. The ground was shaking from explosions and smoke and dust quickly filled the air.

You kept assisting people around you and directing them to find shelter. The explosions were getting stronger and felt closer, adding more chaos into the mix. You kept searching for others in need of help, coughing as you made your way through the area.

Another explosion went off to your left and you stumbled a bit, but kept your balance. Rubble and debris was falling all around you and it became clear that this was no accident.

You relented on and were helping people who had fallen when you felt a firm grip on your arm, immediately recognizing Obi-Wan’s familiar hold on you.

“Obi-Wan!” You exclaimed in relief. “We need to get these people out of here! It’s not safe.”

His gaze was full of worry and he kept his hold on you, yelling above the chaos, “Senator, I need to see you safely aboard your cruiser!”

You tried to pull away, but his grip did not budge, “Not until we ensure their safety!”

“The only person’s safety I am concerned of is yours!” He insisted.

You shook your head vehemently, “My presence is the reason for this, it must be, and I will not let these people suffer because of me!”

The ground shook once more as another detonator went off, his grip on you loosened as you both stumbled.

“Please, come with me back to the ship!” He pleaded.

“We can’t leave like this!” You argued.

You managed to pull away from his grasp and started to run towards the smoke when Obi-Wan yelled out your name. You turned around to look at the man and beckon him to join you when horror etched itself upon your face.

Above the Jedi was a crumbling column and the debris was beginning to fall. You couldn’t do anything except watch and make your way towards him as fast as possible, crying out his name. That was the last thing Obi-Wan saw.

When he woke up, the first thing he felt was warmth. He could feel your presence, your very being. It engulfed him. You were worried and concerned. He felt a firm weight in his hand, it was yours.

You had been at his side since your crew brought his unconscious body on board. You felt horrible about being the reason he was pinned under the rubble, even more so being the reason for the attack in the first place. The Separatists had somehow got word of your humanitarian mission and had sabotaged it with a bombing.

You immediately arranged for aide to be sent to the planet. The only thing that kept you from staying was making sure Obi-Wan was alright. Things had been shaky since the marriage conversation and this seemed like a time to rekindle.

As he stirred awake your face lit up and you exhaled in relief.

“Obi-Wan.”

His name was like a lifeline when it left your lips, heavy and full of feeling.

He opened his eyes and turned his head towards you, squeezing your hand lightly.

“You’ve been out for a couple hours.” You explained. “You sustained some damage, but a lot of the larger debris managed to miss you.”

“Lucky me.”

You nodded, “A few days spent in bed and you’ll be fine.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, not sounding too thrilled at the prospect of being bedridden.

You took your free hand to fix his hair, carding your fingers through his soft auburn locks.

“Obi-Wan, I want to apologize.”

He shook his head lightly, closing his eyes, “It was not your fault.”

“It was. You would not have been near that column if I had just listened to you. You would not have been on this trip if I had not requested you. Your being here, hurt, is because of me.”

“I agreed to go on this trip, I chose to accompany you, it is no one’s fault.”

You shook your head, “You’re too kind to say it’s my fault, but it is.”

“You cannot go down that path. I’ve been there, it won’t lead to any good.” He insisted.

“I’m still at fault, no matter what you say.” You argued.

He huffed out a small breath, “Are you going to argue with me while I’m injured?”

You sighed and continued to stroke his hair, relishing in the way reacted to your touch, “Still, I’m sorry.”

He kept his eyes closed, “I’m not.”

You didn’t respond.

“You’re safe. That’s what matters.”

“Not to me.” You whispered. “I need you around, Obi-Wan.”

He opened his eyes to be met with your glassy pair.

“There isn’t a time in my career where I haven’t had you at my disposal, General.” You continued with a shaky voice, “I must admit that I have grown to care for you over the years, a little too much, I think. I just want you to be safe.”

‘A little too much,’ echoed in his mind, Obi-Wan smiled lightly.

“I am safe.”

You sighed again, but didn’t say anything.

“You forget yourself, Senator. My duty was to you, to keep you safe. I did my job and I have no shame for it.”

Your hand moved from his hair to cradle the side of his face, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. He let out a contented hum at the movement.

“I wish there was a world where we could exist without all of this, then. Where we could just have each other.” You said quietly.

His cerulean eyes gazed back into yours earnestly, “As do I.”

You smiled at him sadly and leaned down to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Get some rest, General.”

You volunteered to take care of Obi-Wan when he returned to the capital and he did not refuse you. Part of it was guilt over his injury, but another part of it that you’d never admit to was simply wanting to take care of him. Obi-Wan never let people help him, he always went about things on his own and you knew it wasn’t good for him.

But he let you take care of him and that alone spoke volumes. You’d spent most of your time making his teas, reading together, and even cooking together. He insisted on helping with the food, he didn’t like to be still for so long.

Every night, you’d go to the balcony of his apartment and watch the sun set. It was something simple and serene, something that required no negotiations or arguing, something you could simply be in.

It was a solace to you both. Normally you sat in silence, but on the second night of his recovery, Obi-Wan broke it.

“If it weren’t for your company I would have returned to my duties by now.”

“You’re all better, then?” You inquire, staring off at the sun set.

“I think so. I’m restless.” He replies.

“You can still be restless and injured.” You counter.

Obi-Wan stays silent.

“What would you do on a day off, General? Perhaps there’s something light we can do tomorrow to abide your restlessness.” You suggest.

“I’d find you.” He answers.

You turn your face towards his and feel warmth spread across your cheeks at his words. His eyes are on you, inviting and tender.

“You’ve found me.” You manage to say, softer than you’d like, suddenly feeling like the air around you is thick.

“It appears so.” He muses.

You turn away, but can still feel his eyes on you. It makes your blood burn.

“I can feel you staring.”

“Would you like me to stop, Senator?” He asks, accenting your title teasingly.

You bite the inside of your cheek to hide a smile and clear your throat.

“No, I only think you’ll regret missing this brilliant view.” You say carefully.

“I don’t think I will.”

You let out a shaky exhale and put on a brave face, “Obi-Wan, I need you to listen for a second.”

“Okay.” He says pliantly.

You sigh and bask in the silence before speaking, before breaking the dynamic you’d grown to love, “I understand your want, Obi-Wan, and please don’t think I’ve not felt it, this care we have for each other. I have yearned over the years and pined and wanted. Truly wanted.”

You break his gaze, looking to the sun set once more, “My comfort has for these feelings has been knowing it, we, cannot be.”

He furrows his brows in confusion and approaches you, resting his hand on your arm gently, “I don’t understand.”

You look back up at him through your lashes, your gaze wistful, “But now you’re here, looking at me with the most lovely eyes I have ever seen, wanting, and I cannot go on denying it anymore.”

He strokes your shoulder with his thumb.

You lean into his touch and bring both of your arms to rest on his waist, “I want you, entirely.”

The weight of the confession leaving your lips is freeing, yet all the while terrifying to think of. It’s always been Obi-Wan laying himself out for you and this time, it’s you. No quick wit, no sharp defense, no excuses, just pure vulnerability.

A part of you fears this was a game to him, to see how long you’d hold out for. You lost the game if that were the case, but deep down you know he’d never do that to you. Another part of you fears this will be the end of both of you, a burning love that only leaves despair in it’s wake. If that’s the case, you hope the burn lasts long.

Not giving you anymore time to think, Obi-Wan wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. You exhale in relief and hold onto him tightly.

“I’m all yours.” He whispers, featherlight, into the crook of your neck.

You stay still for a moment before he pulls back to look at you, cupping your face in his hand, “May I kiss you, Senator?”

You swallow thickly before flicking your gaze over his lips and then back to his eyes, “You know, if we cross this line, we can never go back.”

He nods, “I’m aware of what’s at stake.”

You arch a brow, “And you’re still willing?”

“Without question.”

Those words were all you needed to hear. You inched your face closer to his and let your nose brush against his, as if making a move in a game, signaling for his turn. Taking his cue, Obi-Wan closed the gap between the two of you and pressed his lips to yours with a tenderness you didn’t know was possible.

It was sweet, slow, and loving. You let yourself live in the moment, memorizing the way his lips slotted against yours like they were made just for you, the way his beard lightly brushed against your skin, and his calloused hand against your cheek.

He smiled against your mouth and let his forehead rest against yours, “You’re wonderful.”

That night you refused to think of the reality of your situation, and instead you enjoyed Obi-Wan and all of his loveliness.

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