#tw: DID
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Control (2/2)
I kinda wish I’d done more with this but I was really just looking to explore alternate scenes. I want to believe Norman at least tried to confide in Otto, especially after Peter repaired his inhibitor chip. He was the only familiar face in this entire chaotic situation💔
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sorry im shy but ik you RB a lot of ask memes but could you also send back asks to the ppl to send you stuff ;; it just feels kinda rude that you don't
Wow people are really coming for me this year huh, whose tea did I piss into huh? Anon, my friend, sweetheart. There's a few things I think you don't understand about me and I am not starting shit or making this an argument, frankly im too old for this kinda stuff. But I am going to kindly explain to you and anyone else who follows me who thinks i'm being rude about not sending asks back to the people who send me them.
Firstly, like you I am also shy. I don't enjoy sending people asks or DMs because I feel like I am bugging them or burderning the,m. Also I am terrified of most of the people I follow because they are a lot more cooler and talented than me and it feels almost wrong for me to bug them, even if they state that "it's okay to send me asks" I cannot bring myself to do it. I am more a 'wait to see if they're comfortable talking to me first' because I am socially inept.
Secondly, Having ADHD and DiD is a combination thats sometimes very messy. I am constantly distracted or focused on something else. Or I am not here at all. It is someone else, another alter, replying AS me. both these disorders, also affect my memory. I can't remember who sends me what asks or what questions come from what ask game.I struggle with words adn we suck at remembering what we're doing. I am not being rude, it's literally me not remembering who sends me what from where and being overwhelmed when I look to see who has send me what.
I also, am bulk collecting asks and reblogs. Sometimes we just spam reblog a certain tumblr because thats our attempt at making friends, showing them that we like their conctent and appreciate them. Sometimes it's just us going through a tag. Some of the asks that I have in my ask box are from novemeber and we havent had the spoons to get to them until now. . I reply because I have spoons and energy too, I dont always have the energy and spoons to send asks back. Im disabled anon and sometimes that takes a tole on me.
Right now it's two forthy am and I am trying to word on writing because I replased or the first time since August. I am distracting myself and just trying to have a nice time.
TL;DR: Sometimes I simply forget to send asks back or forget whose send me what. Also I am socially inepct and shy and dont wanna bug people or whatever. I dont wanna FORCE people to interact with me. I am not being rude. It is not rude. I am literally just fucking existing. also half the people who send me asks I talk too in DMs or on discord, or theyre anons and I am UNABLE to send asks back.
I'm turning anon off. I'm not dealing with this kinda stuff. Sorry to those who were actually sending me nice asks or were interacting with me. Y'all are gonna have to out yourself about it.I'm, too old for fandom dramam or this kinda stuff.
#5 days into the new years and people are coming for my throat#im turning anons off#i just fucking cant#sorry i dont remember every person whose ever sent me an ask#shut up mouse nobody cares#tw: self harm#tw: did#tw: swearing#also if this person actually sees this ask#come on anon and talk to me#*off anon#im not starting shit.#i just wanna know WHO doesnt seem to understand#what its like having memory issues#and who really chose to try and start shit
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"I am not gonna tell you shit, Steven, before you don't answer my question, why do you want to know that ? "
“...Because mine was in The British Museum...In 1995. I took loads of pictures of the statues of Sekhmet, and me and mum had a cream tea in the cafe under the courtyard roof, and we laughed because we could see all the pidgeons sunbathing.”
“...except the courtyard roof wasn’t added until the year 1999...making it impossible. So...yeah. Unless you and me were somehow split into two, and managed to go to two different birthday events on the same day...then one of us isn’t a real person...are they?”
#mxrkymark#TW: DID#NB: Steven is very aware that he is not the core and is still having trouble coming to terms with it
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Dean as god theories are just “eh” to me.
Tw for hollywood portrayals of mental illness and religious paranoia
thought experiment
I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s just, if we’re gonna go that symbolic, it’s not as compelling to me as Sam as the pseudo-primary “god/personality” and Jack as the maybe true primary “Hunter Heroici type of hidden god” perhaps Amara as the “traumagenic deep god” in a sea of non-integrated emotional and symbolic manifestations (that may or may not be complex manifestations of his past).
(And Chuck is based on the for-profit sleazeball using the recordings of trauma/case notes in connection to parallels, mirrors, fate etc to invite his pulp readers to perceive things a certain titillating way (“false god”). ) “Writers lie.” He’s also an advocate of fusion/integration, which is very outdated and traumatic for some systems.
Chuck’s book series is an indictment of the audience, especially the ones who know no real trauma (Hunger Games-coded Capitol), as much as it is a triumph of the audience using it to work through their own trauma (like perhaps Becky). I would say something about Sybil here but it makes me feel icky. I feel like the controversy is relevant for Chuck though. “Sylvia” (Sybil) appears in season 15 in Gimme Shelter. And I’m not convinced they weren’t covertly pushing this tired “gotcha.” And Chuck well…Chuck Shurley (Shirley Mason) was a bit on the nose.
From Nihilism
Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.
The anti-possession tattoo is a metaphor to ward off the family illness. It’s why individual growth and integration of characters like Chuck and Amara are threats to the universe. It’s why the “healthier” Sam gets, the more “the people” die. It’s even why Dean died.
It’s why Dean protected him from everything, even from dad.
It’s why Cas can “shift” Sam’s trauma to himself.
It’s why “I’d never put anything ahead of you!” in Dean and “Nothing is worth your life, Sam!” in Cas. It’s why Jack choosing Cas as his “father” is heartbreaking.
It’s why Jack is Sam, another doomed child. It’s a manifestation of, “If I’d had Dean and Cas back then, it would’ve gone right for me.”
It’s why angels, possession, and angel radio.
It’s why season 8 Sam’s delusion was Amelia and Dean’s delusion was Benny (Shadow selves and longing.)
It’s why that random gym guy says, “You said you’d protect us!” to Cas is episode 2 or 3 of season 15. Sam is blaming Cas for not protecting him-them-Jack.
It’s why Dean says to Cas in script, “I put on you what I couldn’t take.”
It’s why we.
It’s why hunting. It’s why the initial two monsters look like Sam and Dean in 15x20 and why it just feels more like serial murder here. Maybe even unaware/bitterly motivated murder to destroy that family’s perfect life that they can never have, and why Sam-Jack kill Dean here. It’s why the dad was drained of blood…and Sam’s bullet was soaked in a dead man’s blood.
It’s why when Mary died she said to Cas in flashback, “they were never alone.”
It’s why Lucifer says, “Sam’s different,” when referencing how people come back from the dead “not themselves.”
It’s why Jack makes the empty “loud.”
In this approach, Gods don’t often interact with their stories, and when they do, they have to leave to get back to their “real” words is the ableist implication.
That’s why Jack “takes himself out of the story” and sends everyone to their respective ends (death, the empty).
Its why, like a child looking at their caretakers, Sam didn’t figure out Cas and Dean for so long. One might argue he even judged them in bouts of religious paranoia. It’s why Sam concocted a confession in a dungeon in his mind, with Dean disallowed from speaking. Sam unlocked that they were a family but seeking their happiness was what killed them.
It’s why the rest of the story is Sam making peace with the people who already died long ago. And finally making peace with his figment of Dean.
I prefer that Chuck is a god that won and wants it to seem more meaningful so he copied a bunch of edgelord takes from well known pop psych books with little insight into psychiatric conditions, and he just pats himself on the back. He’s a powerful singularity obsessed with monotheism and integration and he simply ate Jack, as evidenced by the charming acres style shots in 15x19 and the gloating nature of the dad being stabbed like Cas and the mom’s tongue being cut out in 15x20. It’s why they drained the dad’s blood and cut out mom’s tongue (callback to fridged Mary, mute Dean).
I mean you could argue they’ve always been sacrificing people to father-god and that creates a sort-of…god complex. But honestly in that case Sam is still sacrificing Dean at the end here, sending him somewhere he can “be happy” and “not hurt anyone anymore.”
But thing is…. ANY story could be framed as a complex delusion with main characters functioning as Demi-gods and chosen ones. It’s…not a novel take or a particularly compelling one.
So really… 15x20 is… Chuck rebooted the universe…with different rules of perspective. He sharpened the genre to be more rigidly psy-pop horror. Or, if he’s going by “Jack” now, he’s infected the SPN with reality in the same way Sam and Dean infected ScoobyDoo.
It’s stripped of the meaning of family. Chuck has found a new spin to explain the nature of story as delusion and a new theory of everything. This may be Chuck's new pitch. The ommitted scenes are purely manipulating reality to sell Chuck's new idea. We can always go edgier and darker...and soon we'll have a bigger HBO style budget!
#tw: mental illness#tw: mental illness minimized by Hollywood#tw: did#hollywoodification of personality systems#Sam and the dog as spectre of ghosts and loss#Dean may have been real at one time but it’s equally fascinating that spn may have been Sam working through why Dean#tw: suicide#pop psychiatry#speculative#it’s right there right down to Cas shifting the burden from Sam to his own mind#down to Dean taking the brunt of the emotions and protecting sams mind#for the record I don’t think it’s good#it’s actually pretty damn ableist#sigh#which is why I tend to stay away from the hypothesis#but Dean as god is popular in this really angry judgmental way#and it’s just…not what they were going for#Dean getting the anger and the emotion is very Sybil and I hate that tbh#I just feel like if you GO there you kinda have to go THERE#and Sybil commercialization did so much damage to the subject#tw: Sybil#they got too meta about that particular topic imho#I prefer the mindfuckery of an angry gif trying to make them think they’re not real tbh#they are punished for making deals to keep their family with them and that sucks tbh#15x20 carry on#15x20
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things haven't been great
but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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dragon meat, you, and me
#marcille donato#falin touden#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#tw blood#tw body horror#tw gore#as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive#the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence#evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved#ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost#on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation#the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood#in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art
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boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”
#corvidforest vent post#i wish ppl would stop acting like it’s some awful traumatizing burden to know us#dissociative identity disorder#did system#osdd#personality disorder#intellectual disability#psychosis#vent#vent post#tw vent
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As the smallest diving mammal hunting for this water shrew lasts only a few seconds, but their technique underwater is remarkable. Their eyesight is poor so they rely on foraging along the bottom to find movement with their long whiskers. To find stealthier prey they have the rare ability to smell underwater. By blowing tiny bubbles of air they can detect scent particles in the water.
Nature on PBS
#water shrew#shrews#river#nature on pbs#tw successful hunting#mammalia#eulipotyphla#please look up what that word means. why did they do that to them hhfhdjf
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X-MEN '97 To Me, My X-Men
#she didn't need to go this hard and she did anyway#x-men 97#x men 97#xmen97edit#xmenedit#marveledit#mcuedit#marvelgifs#dailymarvelgifs#dailywoc#dailymarvelstudios#mutantsedit#x-men 97 spoilers#x men 97 spoilers#scott summers#cyclops#storm#ororo munroe#*#tw: flashing#tw: flashing gif
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made on blinkies.cafe, text on the second blinkie from this post
#text#flash tw#blinkies#techposting#had to change thr wording on the second one a little bit bc it was too long </3 but i did my best#peer reviewed banger
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I wanted to do a quick valentines doodle and I lost the plot, this is part one of at least 2.
One, I think I got possessed cause this is not my usual colour palette. Two, I’m very aro, romance repulsed, my only exception for some reason being Narilamb???? And three, I need to be heard out on one sided pining from Narinder.
Next time I do a limited pallet I gotta start with black and white and use a gradient map cause I wanted to change the colours at one point and it was a nightmare. Added like 3 hours onto colouring this.
Part 2 here
#my art#my post#no devotion au#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#cotl lamb#narilamb#true devotion#digital art#photoshop#comic art#fan comic#Tw blood#did I do romance right????#is this it????
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give it back
#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#edward elric#sprints in hello i did not forget#thank u me of the past for having the forethought that i would be home very late today and sketching this out this morning#blood#blood cw#blood tw
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I couldn’t resist, I had to draw something from Firefight by @remedyturtles . I’m obsessed, I legit cry at every chapter.
#rottmnt#save rottmnt#save rise of the tmnt#donatello#my art#leonardo#firefight#fic fanart#ao3 fanfic#tw blood#sorry about the blood but this scene was so beautiful I had to#brotherly love#i hope i did it justice#save me firefight save me#this fandom has so many talented artists and writers
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��Don’t let your disorder define you”
Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?
Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?
Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.
#chronic illness#autism#adhd#intellectual disability#did osdd#personality disorder#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#cripplepunk#madpunk#neuropunk#tw ableism
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Danny hops skips across dimensions to escape his parents, and ends up in the Wayne Memorial Hospital.
Problem; in his universe, Jack Fenton is that universes version of Bruce Wayne. Jack and Bruce are identical from looks to DNA, but mentally they are worlds apart.
In Danny's universe, the Waynes dropped that name and became Fentons some three or four generations back.
So when a freshly vivisected Danny stumbles through a portal in the Zone and crash lands into the alley behind the Hospital, he is immediately recognized as a possible love child from Bruce Wayne, simply because he's a dead ringer for a teenage Bruce, and Leslie knows that family gets fucking weird.
Just to be sure, though, she tests it.
She leaves the room to check on Danny as she waits for the results, and one of the new interns steps in, and...oh? What's this?
Fresh food for the Newspapers? Food that they'd pay money for?
The intern takes the paperwork and bolts, and the next morning Bruce Wayne's lost secret child (who has been horrifically abused and mutilated poor boy maybe their next scoop will be an interview from him subscribe now to the newsletter and-) is all over the front page.
Bruce himself is furious.
The boy doesn't look like Damian, so he isn't a clone. As far as Bruce can tell, he's a bonafide child that Bruce had with a fling and was never told.
A child who got tortured.
Needless to say, when Danny wakes up from running away from his family to see his fathers pissed off face hovering over his own, his first reaction is to punch first and ask questions never.
He goes invisible as soon as he turns a corner that's out of camera view.
Now Danny has to figure out where he is and outrun not only his father, but the strange furry that keeps following him.
@simplestoryteller
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#story prompt#phanfic#batman#bruce wayne#batman au#vivisection tw#danny does figure out he's in a different dimension and that's a different version of his dad eventually#but he really really can't bring himself to say “yeah an alternate you did this to me” to a guy so concerned about him#also he's embarrassed about decking the man#better to just keep running
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