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grits-galraisedinthesouth · 1 year

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Globalists are cultivatating professional thugs of anarchists whose goal is to usher in their so called "new world order" through the destruction of the world's cities.

It pains me to see people who look like me rewarded for theft, vandalism and even murder. Once upon a time in black culture, lawlessness was discouraged. Now, mayors (like the one in Baltimore) tell the police to give rioters "space to destroy." Morally corrupt Maxine Watters threatened jurors in Minnesota that a "not guilty" verdict in the case against officer Derek Chauvin would cause violence & destruction.

Two (2) of these gangs have names: Antifa and BLM. Antifa recruits students or entry level young professionals who seek career advancement. This first rung up the anarchist's ladder of success serves as an initiation into more sophisticated anarchist circles. It can lead to lucrative job opportunities and political appointments.

Participants are often rewarded with tenured teaching posts in colleges and universities. They also move up the ladder in various corporate and legal firms and they are positioned for political appointments.

BLM and the lower level "gangs" are made up of the nameless, disposable radicals meant to be sacrificed for "the greater good." Organizations like the NAACP and so called "black leaders" like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Michelle & Barack Obama serve as plantation DRIVERS who are assigned to manipulate the minds of the "disposable" anarchists.

The collapse of American cities into lawless cities is strategic. It is no coincidence that over 400,000 Americans have fled "Gotham" NYC as it is destroyed from the inside out.

New York is redefining what constitutes an actual crime. The result is their statistics don't tell the full story of how failure to prosecute criminals has destroyed New York City and in turn, millions of lives. The dirty cop, DA Alvin Bragg only has dismal 49% success rate prosecuting crime.

A native New Yorker:

A silver lining to these fraudulent Trump indictment(s) is a bright spotlight on criminal INJUSTICE at the hands of dirty DAs, AGs, State's Attorneys, Judges and so-called special prosecutors.

Our American House of Representatives hosted a NYC field hearing for victims of violent crime.

Below please find heartbreaking testimonies of the victims. They are cautionary tales of how lawlessness has impacted everyday people around the United States of America. Sadly, the residents of these cities don't understand that they voted for their demise.

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America's Lawless Cities

Seattle

Los Angeles

Philadelphia

Washington, DC

Portland

New Orleans

Chicago

New York City

San Francisco

Starbucks, Walmart, Cracker Barrel, Whole Foods fleeing due to "security concerns."

Portland, OR

"An open air insane asylum." Portland's Meltdown: "A Progressive Experiment That Has Gone Colossally Bad. Controlled Demolition."

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Chicago, IL

Walmart Closes 4 Chicago Stores Shoppers complain but they just voted for another mayor who is soft on crime.🤦‍♂️

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The company has pledged to offer more safety training for workers and clarify safety procedures, such as when to call 911, and making changes to store formats and layouts. The measures include “closing a restroom, or even closing a store permanently” where safety is no longer possible, according to a letter posted on the company website.

Social Disorder Insurance Claims $2 Billion during a Historic Summer of Anarchy

"The most expensive outbreak of civil unrest in U.S. history, costing insurance companies an estimated $2 billion to cover protestor wreckage in the days following George Floyd’s death.

The sky high price tag comes from an assessment by Property Claims Services (PCS) published in Axios which has tracked claims related to social disorder since 1950. The company classifies any violent outbreak sparking more than $25 million in claims a “catastrophe.”

The $2 billion figure covering claims made from rioting across 20 states between May 26 and June 8 dwarfs the dollar-amounts doled out by insurance companies in the aftermath of previous periods of unrest isolated to individual cities.

“It’s not just happening in one city or state – it’s all over the country,” Loretta L. Worters, a spokesperson for the group told Axios. “And this is still happening, so the losses could be significantly more.”

Indeed, the initial Floyd riots merely kicked off a historic summer of anarchy sweeping the nation’s cities where

in Portland, Oregon, militant social justice warriors surpassed 100 days of consecutive terrorism. Protestors launched repeated assaults on state and federal law enforcement featuring mortar-style fireworks and lasers that can cause permanent blindness.

Protestors launched repeated assaults on state and federal law enforcement featuring mortar-style fireworks and lasers that can cause permanent blindness.

The only prior outbreak to come close to producing the same level of carnage as the 14 days of rioting after Floyd’s death, measured by insurance claims, are the 1992 Los Angeles riots causing $775 million in insured losses, or more than $1.4 billion in today’s dollars, according to PCS.

Consequent research on the nation’s pandemic of domestic terrorism this summer has further highlighted the breadth of the destruction. The map below shows where the nation suffered nearly 570 violent riots between May 24, the day before Floyd’s death, and Aug. 22, the day before Jacob Blake was shot in Kenosha, Wisconsin triggering a second wave of chaotic demonstrations reaching smaller communities."

Cracker Barrel Manager Killed During Robbery

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An Inconvenient Truth: To neutralize the threat, you fire until the threat is neutralized.

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#anarchy #blm is a terrorist organization #blm #antifa #anarchists #nyc #jim jordan #alvin bragg #manhattan district attorney #gothem city #crime #field hearings

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allwithagrainofsalt · 4 months

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So I'm watching Princess Weekes' video about confederate vampires (watch it fr) and I wanna expand upon smth they mention about the explicitly White American Confederate storytelling in,

Drumroll please...

Firefly.

Now first: I LOVE Firefly. It's an incredible show and in fact I think it's a beautiful and inspirational piece of political art in many ways, and I'm gonna talk about that part a little bit at the end. But mainly, why did I hear the comparison and immediately start to have 50 puzzle pieces click? Well. This essay got long, and to be honest idk how much I might be repeating others cuz PW mentioned it due to others talking about it too, but I just kinda took a journey of my own off-the-dome observations based on things I've already read about/know. I hope it's an interesting journey for you too.

TW below the Readmore: discussion of colonial / military violence; discussion of Sexual Assault

We are looking at a world of cowboys in the stars, in which there was a recent Civil War. In fact, we're set in a "real life future," where the majority remaining galactic race stems from the great American Empire. We do get influences of Chinese culture with language and clothing, but remember that Spaghetti Westerns of the 1960s - which themselves romanticized the values of independent, libertarian southerners (who massacred Indians and no-good loiterers - we'll talk about that later) - heavily utilized "Oriental" aesthetics and caricatures while dehumanizing the Asian people they were ostensibly in relationship with. After all, Asian Americans were a growing population in the landscape of the Western frontier, often working alongside your storybook railroad workers, gold seekers and, even further east than Pacific coastal industries, working & living alongside cowboys. However, the language of Western-genre films (because of the way it mirrors the language of Confederates) does not respect Asian culture as it is, but rather as a collection of "wisdoms" and aesthetics to pick apart and use the "good parts" of - for use by white people in their white expansion. This idea fits a bit uncomfortably well with Firefly's multiple white characters who are "orientalized" by the camera. Kaylee, Inara, and the Tam siblings fulfill various stereotypes and tropes of Chinese- and other Asian-American diaspora people groups. The show, in this way, offers the "diverse" presence of a Chinese influence... using actors of Italian, Irish, German, and possibly Latine background to fill the roles. This makes the Firefly universe look less of a pacifist future between Western and Asian cultures, and more like a colonized universe where the (white) Western colonialists maintain some practices of those forward-thinking Asians who came before them.

But! You may say! Firefly isn't quite so white as that. What about the POC in the show!? Beyond its treatment of the de/re-Orientalization of a decidedly American/Western future, what about Firefly's real interracial representation, like Zoe Washburne and Shepherd Book? I would argue the inclusion of these unapologetic and kind black activist ideas is part of what begins to bring this show towards something more agreeable, but I also think they are at risk of becoming a bit of an obfuscation of a deeper anti-black racist remnant that remains entrenched in the show's Confederate story influences...

We need to talk about Reavers.

Joss Whedon admitted that Reavers were influenced by the role Native Americans played in traditional Westerns. "Every story needs a monster," he said in an interview. "In the stories of the old west it was the Apaches." It's pretty clear how the Reavers, who rape, murder, skin and cannibalize those of the "civilized world" are constructed from the specific racism against Black and Indigenous groups in America. Depictions of cannibals and savages in media have always been constructed to dehumanize those on the outskirts - whether it's the Apache threat Whedon mentions from the Wild West, or indigenous tribes of Africa or South America in any media, or the "terrifying" blackfaced "black" characters in Birth of a Nation, the horror trope of "uncivilized bands of roving lunatics who self-mutilate and can't communicate with their words" is pretty inseparable from its own racist origins. For centuries Europeans have been making "demons" out of pagans and indigenous people for their battle tactics or necropolitics, while simultaneously working hard to entrench our own atrocities in "necessities of the time." For one example, think of the fear associated with "headhunter" displays versus the still-controversial but more civilized-presenting "harsh peacekeeping" of public hangings. What is the difference between these practices besides a different eagernesses to contextualize the practice? I don't argue in favor of punitive violence for cultural purposes here, but it's important not to lose the contextualization of these tropes' origins in the social messaging of popular media. And in fact, the Reavers show an interesting way that the criminalization of Black and Indigenous Americans ties closely to the way we talk about the incarcerated and the mentally ill. I'm frankly not much more satisfied by the Reavers being an embodiment of "space madness" than I would be if they were straight up just Native Americans, or runaways from enslavement. American culture is great at coming up with "madnesses" which are really just the pushback to dehumanizing and unjust regimes. I'm not saying that the logic of the show would allow Reavers to receive constructive community-based mental health support involving free medicine and good therapy. But in a show that claims to be in favor of the marginalized and their voice for power, it's weird that this doesn't come up, right? Do the monsters in our media need to be irredeemable to work as narrative tropes? I would argue, once again, the inclusion of this Western and frankly genocidal trope (and if you think the Reavers are NOT a genocidal story trope, let me know what paths the narrative offers as a solution besides killing them immediately and indiscriminately when given the chance.) works to build a world-feel that's less "for the people" and more "for the justified, downtrodden warriors who know right from wrong," which is a very confederate line of thought.

Although Firefly highlights some literal black voices in their main cast, the plotline of the show is much the same as a confederate apologist story. Some people are more worthy of life than others in this tale - others who are too animistic and uncivilized; or who are simply left behind by the inevitable march of the white, righteous underdog ideologies. And these bold, brave rebels from the Civil War which recently happened are still around, just waiting to reassert their power and their independent desires from the empire. The Confederacy of the US was a white, ethno-nationalist and fascist state, admittedly so by their own politicians. It provided ideological groundwork for Nazi Germany and preceded much of the pseudoscience of phrenology. The Confederate position was based on white supremacy nearly entirely, and argued for the most racist version of a "globalist" idea possible. As evidence, here's some of the Cornerstone Address presented by Alexander Stephens, the "vice president" of the Confederacy: "Many governments have been founded upon the principle of subordination and serfdom of certain classes of the same race; such were and are in violation of the laws of nature. Our system commits no such violation of nature's laws. With us, all of the white race, however high or low, rich or poor, are equal in the eye of the law. Not so with the negro. Subordination is his place. He, by nature, or by the curse against Canaan, is fitted for that condition which he occupies in our system." But confederate stories and ideas have maintained a long-standing and unyielding influence, as after they lost the Civil War, the ideology of the Confederacy underwent a serious PR rebranding. Rather than "anti-American" racists, they became the noble fighters of a lost cause. They became the "defenders of heritage," and they became the mythologized ancestor of any white people who wanted to claim them. The Civil War "rebels" were painted as noble Southern men and women who, in a political landscape of the South becoming red states and the bible belt, were mythologized as Southern Belles and nobly humble plantation owners who loved Good Black people... just not the "mentally ill" ones who did things like run away or fight bondage.

(By the way, Alexander Stephens had some things to say about mental illness too (same link again)- I'm tying this back to my point about "mentally ill Reavers" being less of a far-cry than you might think from Confederate thinking: "Our new government [the Confederacy] is founded upon [this] idea; its corner-stone rests upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and normal condition. ... Many who hear me, perhaps, can recollect well that this truth was not generally admitted, even within their day. ... Those at the North, who still cling to these errors [of racial equality], with a zeal above knowledge, we justly denominate [call them] fanatics. All fanaticism springs from an aberration of the mind from a defect in reasoning. It is a species of insanity. One of the most striking characteristics of insanity, in many instances, is forming correct conclusions from fancied or erroneous premises; so with the antislavery fanatics. Their conclusions are right if their premises were. They assume that the negro is equal, and hence conclude that he is entitled to equal privileges and rights with the white man. ... [I] told [a gentleman from one of the northern states in the House of Representatives] that it was he, and those acting with him, who were warring against a principle. They were attempting to make things equal which the Creator had made unequal." It's worth wondering what makes us, as viewers, accept that Reavers are inherently incurable of the mental illness which makes them monsters. Of course this trope could be used in a critical way - but we can see the real-language example here which should make us question what kind of reading to take from media which only addresses the single solution of wiping a True Evil demographic from existence.)

So I hope you see the influences now, how Firefly follows Confederate and White Supremacist storylines. It's of course worth talking about though, the ways it can be read as a radical story as well. The cast includes an empowered revolutionary black woman, a black spiritual elder who advocates for pacifism in resistence, a sex worker who consistently values and stands up for herself and her line of work explicitly, a working woman who struggles with misogyny, and a rich man disgracing himself from society to save his mentally ill younger sister who was facing violent abuse at the hands of the state. These are people who orient themselves for one reason or another in at least some form of opposition to the oppressive and violent power of the government, which once again, is an analogous state to the United States. Of course, the difficulty of the anti-governmental Confederate narrative is that anti-governmental sentiment can have incredibly valid origins. If you are facing discrimination you should indeed oppose the oppressive force that monitors and abuses all its citizens in one way or another. But for God's sake, that opposition should come from a perspective of eliminating discrimination for all. Not a perspective like Jayne Cobb's - the explicitly violent and self-serving voice which, through the show and movie, metaphorically pulls our disaffected protagonist, Malcolm Reynolds, toward the direction of his more cynical, militaristic and even fascist internalized values. Firefly wants to simultaneously make a diverse revolutionary text, but also misses the opportunities it presents itself to say something more meaningful through its own medium. We could've addressed the harm of Jayne's willingness to grant "humanity" ONLY to the people he deems as something like family - or who he feels have properly convinced him that they're worth saving. He is the perfect embodiment of the right-wing, misogynist, white-supremacist ideology at the center of Confederate thinking. He's a Nazi who has been pulled into collaborating with real marginalized people through his relationship with Mal. And there's some level of that which could be an interesting story about deradicalization. In fact in some ways I believe the show could be open to some kind of that interpretation, given the almost-betrayal that Jayne goes back against due to his dedication to Mal. But unfortunatly I'd also say that in the execution of the show I got a different perception, which is back to the whole Confederate thesis...

Instead of a fascist who we could watch be deradicalized by his fellow crew, Jayne ends up doing marginal good only ever out of respect for Mal. I would argue in this way, their relationship mirrors the romanticized mythology of the Civil War being a "war between brothers" due to split households in border states. This narrative clearly holds more respect for the Confederacy than continuing to rightfully call the ideology the abhorrent thing that it is, and it is clear that the same ideology rears its head deep into our legal systems through the treatment of oppressed groups to this day. In ways, the influence of pro-Confederate radicals AFTER the war worked to legitimize bigotry of all kinds in a truly unprecedented way in America. If we have to respect the opinions of the Confederates because they were our "brothers" and not our ideological enemies, then who will we feel more and more comfortable throwing by the wayside - them or the people we work together to shamefully dehumanize? Through this contextual lens, with a vision of Mal as a "decent cowboy" compared to Jayne's more blatantly intolerant cowboy persona, it seems glaring that Jayne's bigoted views are just more intense outward versions of similar prejudices to those Mal feels, but by comparing the two characters to one another Mal would of course begin to look more forgivable despite his relative centrism and lack of care for the marginalized beyond his immediate group. Neither Mal nor anyone, for the narrative's sake, ever really, constructively pulls Jayne aside to actually lay down meaningful expectations of respect. And our rebel storylines of outgroup justice in the future should not accept this lack of accountability! By doing so, we leave no room for the revolutionary need for the Paradox of Tolerance...

The one thing we must not tolerate is intolerance.

Oh and P.S., one last thing: Upon an internet search about the paradox of tolerance I learned that Bill Maher has a famous quote about it, and idk the specifics but seeing that dang centrist asshole liberal made me want to clarify that the argument itself could tie very well into stuff like Islamophobic talking points, since the US defends a lot of its military landgrabs as "defending liberal ideals" due to conflating all Muslims with extremist groups. So I just felt the need to add that being "intolerant of intolerance" is NOT equivalent to dehumanizing groups based on stereotypes of them being "more prone to violence" or other dogwhistles like that. I would imagine that comes through, but it's also just worth making explicit. Even me, in this essay, seeing a character who falls into many of the plot points of a Confederate heroism storyline and is a white man - I'm not intolerant OF those things. In the episodes where Mal successfully subverts those ideologies he's mirroring on screen, by interacting with the world differently because he has learned to humanize an increasingly large group of people, I cheer for him! However, I remain intolerant of the intolerance Mal continues to show by virtue of his failure to hold others and himself accountable to the paradox of tolerance, and lets abuse goes unchecked for longer than he, as a man with power and a growing communal mindset, COULD put to rest.

#media analysis #firefly #white supremacy #orientalism #historical #history lesson #critical theory #philosophy #revolutionary #racism #leftism

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vonvalium · 3 years

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I know a lot of yall are posting about the residential school in Canada, and whereas I'm very glad yall are educating yourself and spreading information about the crimes Canada has inflicted on First Nations People, please. Please. Please tag that shit.

I'm 20 years old and my siblings and I are the first generation in our family to not be put in a residential school. I've lost a lot of family and have had a lot of trauma caused by the horrific acts against indigenous folks that took place in those schools. Constantly seeing trauma and violence against my people is exhausting and painful. Especially in relation to the death of indigenous children.

Please put content warnings. Please tag (violence against native americans, residential schools, indigenous suffering, etc). Thank you.

#sigh #k.txt #tw child death #content warning #trigger warning #tw violence against native americans #tw violence against indigenous people

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autistic-people-are-awesome · 6 years

Video

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#christopher columbus #strong language #nca #nafw #violence against native americans tw #native pride #actullynative

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scribbled-anecdotes · 4 years

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So, I was going to make this list on National Indigenous Peoples’ day but I held off for two reasons: firstly we shouldn’t have to wait for special occasions to talk about Indigenous experiences and Indigenous issues but also because Canada Day was right around the corner. Canada is a settler-colonial state and while for many non-native peoples Canada day celebrates a seemingly proud history of freedoms and equality and innovation, for many indigenous peoples across so-called-Canada it is an uncomfortable, and even painful, reminder of a violent history of oppression and a continued struggle against settler-colonialism. So instead of taking July 1st to dwell on Canada’s questionable past take the time to consider Canada’s future and how we can work to undo the settler-colonial structure currently in place. So many people really don’t know where to start with undoing this country’s colonial legacy, so I’ve compiled a list (which is by no means exhaustive) of resources to start with

So please, as Canada day does look a little different this year, maybe start a new tradition of education and/or appreciation of Indigenous Peoples’ and our history on this territory as well as are contemporary experiences here. Also if you are not Canadian you can take some time to look at these or spread these resources (colonialism is not just a Canadian issues, it is a global one).

Documentaries:

Angry Inuk (Dir. Alethena Arnaquq-Baril, 2016) - Can be found on Youtube. Examines the importance of sealing to the Inuit and their struggle to continue their ways of life against colonialism by both the Canadian state, private oil/fracking companies, and even the EU’s anti-sealing laws. Watch if you’re interested in food sovereignty and protecting traditional ways of life.

Rumble: the Indian’s Who Rocked the World (Dir. Catherine Bainbridge, 2017) - Can be rented on Prime. Examines the role of Indigenous peoples in the Canadian and American music industry between the 1950s - present and what struggles they faced. Watch if you’re interested in music history and Indigenous representation.

First Contact, S1 + 2 (Dir, Jeff Newman, 2018 - ) - Can be found on APTN and TVO. A 3 part series that asks average Canadians to confront their biases about Indigenous Peoples. This is a very important watch for non-Indigenous peoples. TW: strong anti-indigenous racism in some parts. Watch if you’re interested in how racism and settler colonialism are enacted by everyday people and where common stereotypes come from.

Canada’s Toxic Chemical Valley (Dir, Patrick Macguire, 2013) - Can be found on Youtube. Looks at the history of environmental racism in Sarnia, Ontario and its affects on the people of Aamjiwnaang Reservation. Watch if your are interested in environmental justice and land rights.

Reel Injun (Neil Diamond, 2009) - Can be found Prime. Looks at the history on Indigenous representation in old Hollywood and its evolution since then. Watch if you’re interested in Indigenous representation and film history.

Searching for Winnetou: Drew Hayden Taylor Wants to Understand the Roots of the German Obsession with Native North Americans (Drew Hayden Taylor, 2018) - Can be found on Youtube. Traces the roots of Germany’s cultural obsession with the “Indians” and looks at the modern appropriation of Indigenous culture in Germany. watch if you’re interested in Cultural Appropriation and stereotypes and Europe’s role in this.

Canada’s Darkest Secret (Rania El Rafael, 2017) - Can be found on Youtube. Looks at the long and violent history of the residential schools system in Canada which ran from the mid-1800s - 1996 and how it continues to affect Indigenous communities. TW: child abuse and sexual abuse and trauma. Watch if you’re interested in assimilation, inter-generational trauma, and the modern history of Indigenous-settler relations. residential schools are the source of so many issues within modern Indigenous communities and so understanding their history and impacts is a good way of understanding why Indigenous people have the struggles we do today.

Trick or Treaty (Alanis Obomsawin, 2014) - Can be found on Youtube. Looks at the history and mishandling of treaty relations and where that leaves modern Indigenous-settler relationships. Canada has not held up a single treaty. Watch if you’re interested in treaty rights, land rights, diplomacy, and the history of Treaties.

Seachers: Highway of Tears (Dir. Stephanie Brown, Allya Davidson, 2016). Can be found on youtube and Netflix Canada. While not entirely Indigenous-centric, this documentary looks at the 71 km stretch know as the Highway of Tears where hundreds of Indigenous women have gone missing. It is not the best documentry in my opinion but its a good start to understanding the MMIDWG mov’t and how the RCMP fails indigenous women and girls. TW: murder, sexual assault and violence, violence against women and girls. Watch if you want to understand Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls.

Arts and Culture:

Biidaaban/ the Dawn Comes (Amanda Strong, 2018). Can be found on Youtube. A claymation short film that examines an Urban Indigenous woman’s relationship to her land.

The Mishomis Book: the Voice of the Obijway (Edward Benton-Banai, 2010). Can be bought at most book stores. An introduction to Anishinaabe culture and history on Turtle Island through stories and colouring-pages. Read if you’re trying to diversify you’re understanding of Canadian culture and history. This is also a great book for kids, especially Indigenous children.

Indian Horse (Richard wagamese) - This is both a film and a book, both of which are amazing. The story follows an Anishinaabe Residential school survive as he uses hockey to cope with his trauma. TW: Abuse, Child Sexual Abuse, Violence and Anti-Indigenous Racism.

Sgaawaay K’uuna/Edge of the Knife (Helen Haig-Brown, Gwaai Edenshaw, 2018) - The first film done entirely in Haadi-Gwaii (and I believe any Indigenous language), Sgaawaay K’uuna follows the struggle of a cursed man and his transformation into a wild man (Gaadiig). Based heavily in Kwakwaka’wakw and Haida folklore and oral history. watch if you’re interested in Historical reclamation, Indigenous oral history and Indigenous film.

Kent Monkman - A Cree painter who often inserts Indigenous bodies, culture and sexuality into traditionally European styles (ex, the History Painting).

To The Indigenous Woman (the 1491′s, 2011) - Can be found on Youtube. A spoken poem about violence against Indigenous women and the complacency of both Indigenous and non-Indigenous individuals in this epidemic of violence. TW: Violence against women, Sexual assault, rape.

Bad Indians (Ryan red Corn, 2011) - Can be found on Youtube. A spoken word poem about the way Non-Indigenous peoples view Indigenous peoples and our work to reclaim our voice and power on this land. TW: references to racism and genocide.

This is just the tip of the Iceberg so if you do find this interesting/ eye opening and want more information, I can 100% provide more resources. But hopefully, these documentaries can help to educate non-Indigenous peoples about the history and contemporary experiences of Indigenous People’s on Turtle Island. Gii’Miigwetch (thank you).

#This may be the longest post i've ever made.#Sorry bout that #Indigenous History #Native Rights #Canada day #educational resources #anti-racism resources #Canadian history #Canadian politics

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thealexchen · 3 years

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One Year On: Life is Strange 2 Critique

December 3rd, 2020 marks a year since Life is Strange 2 ended. I was inspired by @smitethepatriarchy‘s text posts (here, but there are several other answered asks worth reading) and @suhaplays’s text post (here) criticizing Life is Strange 2 to write a critique about how Life is Strange 2 handled certain themes and social issues.

(tw: gun violence, police brutality, animal death, incarceration, racism. In this essay, I use the word “queer” in a reclaimed sense, as a queer person myself. Of course, spoiler warning for all five episodes of Life is Strange 1 and 2).

A year on, my feelings about this game have soured... a lot. When the game was first announced, I was overjoyed that our new protagonists would be two Latino boys. Finally, we would have a culturally meaningful, groundbreaking video game with people of color and their experiences at the forefront!

Then the game was met with immediate backlash and I utterly exhausted myself defending it for weeks on Reddit and Tumblr. Throughout 2019, as the episodes came out I became increasingly disillusioned, frustrated, and disappointed with where the story was going. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so damn miserable while playing this game.

Then in the summer of 2020, when Tell Me Why began rolling out pre-release material, I noticed that they posted a Q&A about transphobia, gave content warnings, and discussed at length about their collaboration with GLAAD, Checkpoint, and the Huna Heritage Foundation to make the game with sensitivity and proper research. I cannot speak for trans and gender non-conforming people on whether Dontnod succeeded at doing so with Tell Me Why. But Life is Strange 2 did… none of that.

Essentially, I realized that the reason why I was so frustrated with LiS2 is because it focuses way too heavily on a trauma narrative. This comes off as insensitive to players of color without any content warnings or extensive research.

Sean didn’t have to get kidnapped, kicked in the face, and called a racial slur by a gas station owner. Daniel did not need to watch his puppy get mauled by a mountain lion for the sake of a “difficult choice.” Sean didn’t have to lose his eye for the sake of heightened drama. Sean didn’t need to get called a racial slur and humiliated by his native language/beaten in the desert for refusing to sing. Daniel didn’t need to get shot— twice. Hell, all of “Faith” probably could’ve been cut— how is a church cult that brainwashes Daniel and beats Sean half to death relevant at all to the story?

Even if not all of the game’s violence was racially motivated, the consistent trauma that Sean and Daniel endure does not make for positive representation— or even good characterization. There is a difference between sympathetic characters and well-written characters, and trauma does not make Sean and Daniel any more complex or likable-- just more fucking traumatized.

LiS2 is more grounded in reality, but that also makes plot holes that much harder to excuse (Daniel’s powers being spotted, most of the Parting Ways ending, Sean’s prison sentence). But most of all, it grounds all of Sean and Daniel’s pain and trauma in reality.

There is no magicking away a town-destroying storm with time travel. Sean can’t keep his dad alive by ripping up a Polaroid. After Max unlocked her powers, she was still a Blackwell student, reconnecting with Chloe, taking photos, saving lives, and uncovering a murder mystery. After Daniel unlocked his powers, the Diaz brothers lost everything.

The game never lets you forget that Sean and Daniel are homeless, wanted, constantly in danger, and that they are never getting their old lives back. It permeates the entire game, and for players of color, just reinforces a sad, miserable, grim reality about living in the United States. It is, as @smitethepatriarchy said, potentially triggering for players of color, and it is certainly not something I needed to be reminded of.

And the representation of POC? It feels shallow and ill-researched. It would only take a Google search to find out that Dia de Muertos (a holiday to honor the dead, no less) was from October 31 to November 2 in 2016, the year the game takes place, but Daniel only talks about Halloween in episode 1. Sean and Daniel never discuss any Mexican customs, foods, or holidays. Sean doesn’t speak Spanish with his immigrant father, only during a scene when he’s traumatized (again!) by two racists, and again when talking to Mexican immigrants— in jail. Daniel doesn’t speak Spanish at all. Most of their allies throughout the game are white, including Finn and Cassidy, who appropriate Black culture with their dreadlocks.

So what’s left? Sean and Daniel’s existence as people of color is, at worst, just a narrative prop to justify everything that happens to them. They are people of color on the surface only. In a meta-sense, the game only considers the color of their skin and their last names as what is narratively important… yikes.

I don’t have anything against people who genuinely loved the game and were moved by its messages and story. But I can’t help but feel bitter that white players have the luxury of only thinking of this game as a work of fiction and not feeling any personal reliability to Sean and Daniel’s racialized trauma.

I don’t regret playing LiS2, but I do regret all the time and energy I spent defending it in the beginning. I understand now that I shouldn’t let people’s opinions get to me, nor should I feel obligated to like or defend a game for its attempts at representation. But now, I think I understand how queer fans must have felt in late 2015 when Polarized released. After following the game for 10 months, to see that Chloe’s ultimate destiny was to die and Pricefield is another ship plagued by the Bury Your Gays trope (in the ending that the devs clearly put more work into) must have been just as disillusioning and infuriating. I understand why some fans were so quick to unfollow LiS or develop mixed feelings about the series, because that’s how I feel too after following LiS2’s development from September 2018 to December 2019.

Before I end, I will admit that Life is Strange 2 arrived at a time when I needed it. I still stand by my belief that DN did a great job characterizing Sean, Daniel, and Chris without toxic masculinity, which is the best thing they could’ve done for a male-focused follow-up to a game about queer women. I love that Sean is still a canonically bisexual man of color in a major video game and that DN didn’t forget their queer audience. I love the world and characters that DN built, but I still prefer AU fanfictions of their normal lives, without all that trauma.

So, I will continue to treasure Lyla and her 10 minutes of screentime (aka the only shred of Asian American representation I can get from this series). I still reblog LiS2 fanart to support the artists. I still support Dontnod, because as Tell Me Why has shown, they are capable of researching and writing stories with more sensitivity. And let’s be honest-- I’m still gonna be hella excited if Life is Strange 3 is announced.

But so many aspects of Life is Strange 2 were bungled that it came off as a remarkably average and forgettable experience. A year on, I don’t hate Life is Strange 2, but I am writing this to move on from it.

Thank you for reading.

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chemicalarospec · 3 years

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Making a new pinned post...

Addition: HERE is a list of “Asian American community and justice organizations to look into, mutual aid links etc. Many of the orgs linked need donations.” It’s very helpful if you need a quick list for something local!

Links of a series of posts about the anti-Asian attacks which in turn link to many other resources.

1. “If you are a non-Asian person that enjoys Asian things like kpop, anime, asian cuisine, etc; please don't ignore the rise in Asian hate crime that's been increasing since the beginning of covid....” I made a post about this twitter thread. Has lots of resources for non-Asians and Asian -- also has some great stuff to help Asian bring support of BLM to their community.

2. “lately there have been some truly horrific hate crimes committed against the elderly and working class asian american community...” A message, a rallying call, I dunno what to call this. Just please, please, help us speak up. (also described violence tw for this one. all the others has their tws in the post) No further links in this one.

3. "I don’t think I’ve seen a single post about this yet. Can we please talk about all the anti Asian hate that’s been going on recently?...” DO NOT LEAVE ASIANS OUT OF YOUR ANTI-RACISM. This one lists some of the more prominent, older attacks (it’s an old post).

4. "trigger warning for violence. recently there has been a lot of violence and abuse towards the asian community, particularly to the elderly....” Please look at what is happening to us. Another list of (older) attacks with points on the treatment of (East) Asians in general.

5. "stay safe, stay informed, stay connected, support aapi, check on your aapi loved ones, stand with your aapi loved ones, stop the violence towards aapi, hate is a virus...” Mainly a repost of an Instagram post, also has links to many informational carrds. Go look at it, please.

6. "IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE ASIAN COMMUNITY AND WHATS HAPPENING TO THEM!....” Masterpost for helping resources and education resources and fundraisers and please please please just check this out.

7. AMAZING conversation between Anti-Racism Daily and Michelle Kim on Instagram. I LOVED watching this; it was incredible. Highly recommend. This is a galaxy-brain tier discussion.

If it seems like I’m begging you, it’s because I am. Nothing else has worked, and honestly I’ve tried this before and it hasn’t either. I know I’m liked more when I’m not aggressive, but I’m not hiding my anger here. I’ve almost given up; I know better than to keep throwing myself at a brick wall. I feel vurnable and empty.

Please. I know resources can be overwhelming.

I know it’s difficult for human, by the nature of our brains, to care about things that do not directly affect us.

I know that there is so much going on in the world taking up your emotional energy.

But please, please, please take the time out of your day to look at least one of these.

Do you know about the Chinese Exclusion Act and Japanese Internment? Search that up. Read the Wikipedia summary. That’s good. You can do more, but every little thing you do to better yourself helps. You don’t have to feel bad if that’s all you do.

Do you know about the model minority myth? You can freaking message me or send asks and I will explain it to you personally. I don’t care. I’ll do anything to help people understand us.

Are you in a position of power over others? (Aka, do you run workshops or are you a teacher or an admin?) (look, both my parents are teachers; I have no idea how hierarchal job structure works outside of public education.) Please bring attention to this among your employees/students/subordinates/idk just your friends. You could literally just send them a slideshow of an Instagram post. I know at least one or two major news outlets have finally reported on this. Just play that clip for them.

Please. I am begging every one who reads this to do something, any one small thing to help or better understand or support the East Asian community. If you’re a Black or brown or Native activist, keep focusing on your causes, but please don’t use that as an excuse to not help us just a tiny bit in ours. Your rising tide may list all boats, but do not ignore our sinking ship.

In 1968, college students across ethnic backgrounds banded together to from the Third World Liberation Front. It was “instrumental in creating and establishing Ethnic Studies and other identity studies as majors in universities across the United States.” We did it before. We can do it again.

#asian #asian american #resources #important #psa #racial justice #race #chinese #covid-19 #I said this #things I've said #racism #links #education #racial education #please #feel free to reblogg #i started this to be a pinned post but now it's pretty good for other bloggs too

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hollywoodfamerp · 3 years

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* TW: MENTIONS OF RACIAL VIOLENCE AND DEATH *

Dear Famers,

We need to take a moment to address the undeniable truth that is going on in our world right now. On March 16, 2021 in Atlanta, Georgia eight individuals were wrongly targeted and killed based on their perceived race and gender. Of those individuals who lost their lives, six of them were of Asian descent and seven of them were women. This event follows an escalating pattern in brutality against Asian-identifying groups in the world that is fueled by gender-based hate, misogyny, white supremacy, and anti-Asian discrimination. Hollywood Fame RP wishes to publicly denounce the horrifying acts of violence that occurred, and we write this statement to share our indescribable grief regarding the murders.

The discrimination and racism that affects Asian-identifying groups have become more publicized in the past year. However, make no mistake, these issues have historical roots that precedes the COVID-19 pandemic. Hollywood Fame RP does not condone this behavior or mentality at all in our group and we will support/stand by our members and followers of Asian descent. You will always find a safe haven with us here in our online community. It is what we set out to accomplish since the day we opened. We will always strive to make sure our members feel seen, respected and heard. We urge our members to speak up if you witness any acts of violence towards the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities as it is imperative to keep each other informed.

Listed below are several resources to educate, to promote, and to donate to other organizations that are working to combating Anti-Asian rhetoric:

Educate Yourself on the History: When leaders call COVID-19 the “China virus,” it harkens back to decades of state-sanctioned discrimination against Asian Americans.

Bystander Intervention Training: To combat the current rise in harassment and discrimination and to also proactively prepare for the future increase of hate incidents, Advancing Justice | Chicago is partnering with New York-based nonprofit Hollaback! and CAIR-Chicago to plan and implement an aggressive scaling up of locally-led bystander hate incident intervention training for community members.

STOP AAPI HATE: Report an incidence of hate crime or injustices towards Asian American Pacific Islander communities.

Donate to Asian Americans Advancing Justice: This is the first nonprofit legal advocacy organization dedicated to protecting the civil rights of Asian American, Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander (AANHPI) and Arab, Middle Eastern, Muslim, and South Asian (AMEMSA) communities in Georgia and the Southeast. All donations will go directly to support the victims and their families.

Twitter thread on ways to help protect and support the AAPI Communities. Credit: @yxkhei

Should any of our members have any other resources they wish to share, please message us and we’ll add it to the list!

- The Admin Team

#hollywoodfamenotice #tw: racial violence #tw: death #tw: covid-19

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carewyncromwell · 3 years

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"Cover my eyes -- cover my ears -- Tell me these words are a lie... It can't be true that I'm losing you -- The sun cannot fall from the sky... Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel?”

~“Tears of an Angel,” by RyanDan

x~x~x~x

tw: character death, brief mention of violence

The Battle of Hogwarts, taking place the night of May 1st 1998 and into the next morning of May 2nd, was a dramatic day in the Wizarding World’s history. It was the day that Lord Voldemort fell at the hands of Harry Potter and the Ministry of Magic successfully seized back control from the Death Eaters that had infiltrated it -- the day that marked the end of the Second Wizarding War and a new beginning for wizards in the United Kingdom.

It was also a day, however, of immense loss. Although most magical historians (and authors writing books about the infamous Boy Who Lived) tend to gloss over the names and identities of those lost in favor of the grander-scale historical strides achieved by the end of the War, those who actually fought in the Battle -- such as Jacob Cromwell -- never forget that.

Once known as the “delinquent” who pursued Hogwarts’s infamous Cursed Vaults as a student, only to disappear mysteriously for seven years and then reappear looking exactly the same as when he vanished, Jacob worked hard to make a better name for himself. Once his fight against R was finally over, he set about traveling the world and taking on as many areas of study as he could, using his extensive knowledge of Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, the Dark Arts, defensive magic, magical and Muggle history, Legilimency, Muggle science, and both modern and ancient languages to pioneer new magical discoveries. One of his most passionate interests was in applying Muggle chemistry and biology to the fields of Potioneering and Magizoology, and through those advancements, he was able to not only introduce the use of the periodic table to advanced Potions classes and the principles of evolution to advanced Care of Magical Creatures classes, but also help develop a slew of new antidotes for magical creature venoms. Despite this, though, Jacob was enough of a vagabond with no definitive sense of direction that he could be easily persuaded to jump back into Cursebreaking -- the thing that first brought him and his once-boy best friend Duncan together -- and through Cursebreaking, Jacob met Lugh Hopper. @thatravenpuffwitch

The Patriarch of the Hopper clan was a very brave and dedicated family man, even despite the tragedy in his life. During the First Wizarding War, he lost not only his wife, but his son and daughter-in-law, so he’s always been quite protective of and nurturing toward his grandchildren Ellie and Jacob Hopper. With this in mind, it’s not entirely surprising that a man with such good paternal instincts and such a fearless spirit took a liking to a reckless, passionate nerd like Jacob Cromwell. They were both Legilimens with a strong devotion to family and a lot of courage, and honestly, Jacob C was just entertaining to go on assignments with, considering he never flinched away from a challenge and would get over-excited about the littlest things.

Jacob Cromwell had never had a real father figure in his life before, since his father Evan had never been very affectionate or supportive toward either Jacob or Carewyn and ultimately abandoned his family when Jacob received his Hogwarts letter, and so Lugh filled a hole in Jacob Cromwell’s life that he barely even knew had been there before. Lugh validated Jacob’s intense passions and desire to fix people’s problems and make the world better, even after all of the mistakes Jacob had made in his life. The older man wholeheartedly supported Jacob when he put his Cursebreaking assignments on hold to return to Britain, supposedly to “research at home” for a while, but in truth to help his sister Carewyn hide Muggle-born fugitives from the Ministry of Magic. And when both men arrived at Hogwarts on May 1st, they greeted each other with a casual hug, slapping each other’s backs, as if Jacob Cromwell was just as much Lugh’s grandson as Jacob Hopper was.

The two men fought side by side some of the time during the Battle. Both were extremely talented magical Duelists -- Lugh had once worked in the Auror Department alongside Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody, while Jacob had been a dueling prodigy since he was still at school and had in his travels studied with a Native American wizard about how to fight with two wands simultaneously. Despite this, however, the casualties in the Battle of Hogwarts were very steep indeed -- and sure enough, one of those casualties was Lugh, who only went down thanks to the combined efforts of four Death Eaters.

When Lugh went down, Jacob Cromwell -- who never was very good at containing his anger -- lost his head completely. He tore into the enemy forces with both of his wands, mercilessly cutting them down with an assortment of both dueling and Dark spells that other members of the Hogwarts army wouldn’t have dared use. He used Transfiguration to fuse one Death Eater to a suit of armor, even if the metal cut painfully through his flesh and bone. He seized one Death Eater’s wand arm with a spell and then dislocated it, twisting it completely the wrong way. He even impaled one of the men who’d cornered Lugh with a chandelier. Jacob was so grief-stricken that he’d gone mad -- and even when the Battle had been paused and there were no more enemy combatants left to fight, no one could get close to him. Most didn’t want to, out of fear of his temper. The only ones brave enough to were Bill Weasley and Jacob Hopper.

When the eldest Weasley tried to approach first, Jacob Cromwell refused to let him get within three feet of him. Jacob C had always had a lingering, petty resentment of his sister’s best friend, since Bill had sort of “taken Jacob’s place” in Carewyn’s life while he was trapped in the Portrait Vault and also embodied a lot of Jacob’s insecurities about not being good enough of a brother for Carewyn, so he had a lot of trouble accepting any help from him. Jacob Hopper, on the other hand, naturally grieved his grandfather just as much as Jacob Cromwell did -- and although Hopper was a rather arrogant rebel, Jacob Cromwell was one of those too, so the two had found more than a little bit of common ground while working together on assignments with Lugh. And so tall Jacob Hopper was able to get close enough to the shorter, stockier Jacob Cromwell to roughly pull him into a hug without a word -- and the two Jacobs ultimately stood there in the hall together, Jacob Cromwell’s shaking hands holding his wands wrapped around Hopper’s chest as they both gritted their teeth and fiercely tried to contain their grief and tears. All Jacob Cromwell ever said to Jacob Hopper that day was --

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Most wouldn’t know what he was sorry for, exactly...but Hopper surmised it was indicative of survivor’s guilt, more than anything.

After the War was over, Jacob Cromwell -- with some encouragement from his sister Carewyn -- finally felt brave enough to ask the Hoppers if he could sing something for Lugh’s funeral, in his honor. Naturally the Hoppers agreed...and when the young vagabond wizard came up to stand in front of the congregation that included his sister and her new ward Erik, his mother, and his best friend Olivia Green, his way-too-long ponytail of dark brown curls better groomed and dressed in nicer high-necked black robes than he’d ever worn in his life, he sung full-voice and bravely, even with tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, we never know where life will take us -- I know it's just a ride on the wheel -- And we never know when death will shake us, And we wonder how it will feel... So goodbye, my friend -- I know I’ll never see you again, But the time together through all the years Will take away these tears. It's okay now... Goodbye, my friend.”

And for the remainder of Jacob Cromwell’s life, he held Lugh Hopper’s memory as close to his heart as he did Duncan Ashe’s -- this time, as motivation to fight for a world where people like Lugh didn’t have to lay down their lives, just to save others from people like Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

#about jacob #jacob cromwell #lugh hopper #jacob hopper #carewyn cromwell #bill weasley #battle of hogwarts #my writing #*exhales heavily*#it felt like I should write something in honor of the anniversary today #carewyn was at the ministry keeping everything from falling apart during the battle of hogwarts so...#yeah seemed like something about jacob was more appropriate #I don't know I just love the thought of jacob hopper and jacob cromwell even though they're so cocky and rebellious personality-wise #being able to lean on each other a bit in their grief :(#listen to the whole song by the way some of these words break my heart making me think of my boy singing them #'we can't hold on but we try'#;~;#hphm #hogwarts mystery

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snoopysfriendwoodstock · 4 years

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book recs based off of taylor swift songs!

so, we all want taylor to share her reading recs with us but she still hasn’t! so instead, here are book recommendations based on taylor swift songs! these recommendations are based on both the content of the songs, the vibe of the songs, and the themes present!

goodreads pages for each book are linked for more about them!

A Place in this World - coming of age novels

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo (YA novel told in verse)

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (classic)

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi (YA realistic fiction)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth (YA realistic fiction / tw: conversion therapy, religious abuse, homophobia)

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson (children’s/middle grade poetry)

The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf by Mohja Kahf (adult realistic fiction / tw: islamophobia, racist hate crime)

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston (classic)

there are a lot here, so the rest are under a read more!

ME! - memoirs and autobiographies that are one of a kind

Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls by T Kira Madden (tw: substance abuse)

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (tw: abuse)

Little Weirds by Jenny Slate

Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer by Chely Wright

Know My Name by Chanel Miller (tw: sexual assault)

Accidental Saints by Nadia Bolz-Weber

My Soul Looks Back by Jessica B. Harris

The Lucky One - novels about the perils of fame

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Tara Jenkins Reid (adult historical fiction)

Daisy Jones and the Six by Tara Jenkins Reid (adult historical fiction / tw: substance abuse)

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert (adult historical fiction)

Fame Adjacent by Sarah Skilton (adult contemporary)

Girl in a Band by Kim Gordon (nonfiction/memoir)

Famous in a Small Town by Emma Mills (YA romance)

Fake Plastic Girl by Zara Lisbon (YA mystery)

It’s Nice to Have a Friend - novels about perceived friends with who turn out to be lovers OR who spend the novel with homoerotic tension

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein (YA historical fiction)

Emma by Jane Austen (classic)

Dare Me by Megan Abbott (YA/adult thriller)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz (YA realistic fiction)

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden (YA romance)

Only The Young - novels about young people making major change/experiencing societal upheaval

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (YA realistic fiction / tw: police brutality, murder, racism)

Revolution Is Not a Dinner Party by Ying Chang Compestine (middle grade/YA historical fiction)

Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes (middle grade historical fiction/fantasy / tw: police brutality against a black child, depiction of emmett till)

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith (YA dystopian)

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline (YA dystopian / tw: depiction of genocide against native americans)

The Chaos Walking Trilogy by Patrick Ness (YA science fiction)

The Best Day - songs about mother/daughter relationships (both meaningful and difficult)

Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel (adult graphic novel)

Restless by William Boyd (adult spy novel)

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (adult realistic fiction)

The Mother-Daughter Book Club by Heather Vogel Frederick (middle grade contemporary)

Love Story - a reimagining of a classic story

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (YA contemporary / reimagining of Pride and Prejudice)

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer (YA science fiction / reimagining of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Snow White)

Ayesha At Last by Uzma Jalauddin (adult contemporary / reimagining of Pride and Prejudice)

Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie (adult contemporary / reimagining of Antigone, tw: islamophobia, depiction of torture)

You Need to Calm Down - these are just a variety of books strictly abt LGBT characters not just a gay side character <3

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins (YA romance)

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (YA romance)

Charity & Sylvia by Rachel Hope Cleves (nonfiction)

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater (YA nonfiction / tw: transphobia, transphobic hate crime, misgendering)

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren (YA contemporary)

Treacherous - a love that teeters between labels for too long as neither can resist the pull of the other

Passenger by Alexandra Bracken (YA science fiction)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (classic)

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë (classic)

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi (YA romance)

Don’t Blame Me - an all-encompassing, maddening love

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (classic)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (classic)

The Way I Loved You - love stories about people who are always attracted to the more dangerous option, even when they’re safe where they are

Anna K: A Love Story by Jenny Lee (YA romance)

Playing With Matches by Hannah Orenstein (adult romance)

My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick (YA romance)

Heartless by Marissa Meyer (YA fantasy / retelling of Alice in Wonderland from the Queen of Heart’s perspective)

The Awakening by Kate Chopin (classic)

Speak Now - weddings/wedding related activities gone wrong!

Save the Date by Morgan Matson (YA romance)

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren (adult romance)

In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware (adult thriller)

Look What You Made Me Do - women getting their revenge, whether it’s justified or not

Sadie by Courtney Summers (YA thriller / tw: physical and sexual abuse, pedophilia, murder, substance abuse)

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (adult thriller / tw: sexual/physical abuse, murder, suicide mentions)

Find Her by Lisa Gardner (adult thriller / tw: physical abuse, kidnapping, rape, murder, graphic depictions of violence)

I’m Only Me When I’m With You - books with a strong focus on platonic relationships, how they grow and change

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (classic)

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (adult thriller / tw: physical abuse)

This One Summer by Mariko and Jillian Tamaki (YA graphic novel)

Monday’s Not Coming by Tiffany D. Jackson (YA mystery)

Sula by Toni Morrison (classic / tw: racism, rape mention, physical abuse, sexism)

A Separate Peace by John Knowles (classic)

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid (adult contemporary / tw: racism)

Haunted - novels about feelings of loss combined with supernatural elements

Beloved by Toni Morrison (classic / tw: depictions of slavery, rape, sexual abuse, physical assault, racism, racist language)

Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult (adult mystery)

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (YA fantasy/horror)

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (middle grade fantasy illustrated novel)

You Belong With Me - young adult novels with a LOT of pining

When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon (YA romance)

Since You’ve Been Gone by Morgan Matson (YA romance)

First & Then by Emma Mills (YA romance)

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord (YA romance)

Begin Again - novels about people getting another chance at love

Beach Read by Emily Henry (adult romance)

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes (adult romance)

Second Chance Summer by Morgan Matson (YA romance)

Persuasion by Jane Austen (classic)

The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver (adult romance)

Enchanted - love at first sight OR meet cutes!

Meet Cute by Various Authors (collection of YA short stories)

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith (YA romance)

The Unexpected Everything by Morgan Matson (YA romance)

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera (YA romance)

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera (YA romance)

Lovely War by Julie Berry (YA historical fiction / tw: racism)

Long Live - fighting monsters, both literal and figurative

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi (YA fantasy / tw: sexual abuse)

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney (YA fantasy / reimagining of Alice in Wonderland)

When You See Me by Lisa Gardner (adult thriller / tw: sexual abuse, physical abuse, rape, murder, kidnapping)

#taylor swift #thank yew and goodnight taylor you can still share your reading recs with us tho please <3

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foxingfae · 3 years

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2.10.2021

I finished the first of my outside reading for my Psychology of Women class. I figured I'd post a list in case anyone is interested in checking some of them out. I found You're Wearing That? to be really insightful and relevant to my own relationship with my mother. I'm looking forward to checking out the other titles! *I recommend checking TWs before going in as they likely cover sensitive topics*

The Beginning and End of R*pe: Confronting Sexual Violence in Native America by Sarah Deer

Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher

Women Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing While We Age by Mary Pipher

American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers by Nancy Jo Sales

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons

The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies are Harming Our Young Men by Christina Hoff Sommers

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen

You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation by Deborah Tannen

Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling and What We Can Do About It by Philip Zimbardo

#books #study #psychology #book list #nonfiction #mine #livs library

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arden-in-the-garden · 4 years

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Racism on PokeFarm Q

So! This is gonna be a long post, so i’ll be putting all of the content below a read more cut. The gist is that the staff of PokeFarm Q are racist and do not give a single fuck about the Indigenous communities, and explicitly stated they will not even attempt to do anything about cultural appropriation. In the past staff members have also voiced their lack of support for the BLM movement. I’ve gathered transcripts and screenshots from the conversation between myself and the member that started this and between myself and staff.

tw for below the cut: ment. of r*pe, ment. of cannibalism, the word wendig*ag repeatedly uncensored, racism ment., cultural appropriation ment.

This morning I came across a user by the name of TrüêWêndïgø, and they were messaged in regards to their username

ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:13:03 (1 hour ago) Hey, are you Alqonquin/Anishinaabe? TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:17:17 (1 hour ago) I am an Algonquian Wendigo if that is what you are asking. Why? ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:20:10 (1 hour ago) Figured I'd ask. There a lot of non-Natives that use the term for Wendig*ag trivially, and I promised nA friends that if I saw it I'd check on it, and to help try and deter its usage TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:23:39 (1 hour ago) I am kinda obsessed with the Wendigo, so I read about them a lot. I am Australian, so if I have gotten this wrong in any way, I would like to correct myself. I hope I am using it correctly ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:26:59 (1 hour ago) Ahh, let me help you out then! They're, like, NOT something to mess with. They're feared, through and through, to the point where speaking or even writing the name is forbidden (which is why it's usually censored). They're not able to be befriended or tamed or worked with; they are the pure form of evil distilled into a physical being, often from greed or due to cannibalism! They're definitely not the kind of thing to be revered or messed with, they're just evil, straight up. I don't think you can change your username, but I'd discourage you from using it in the future, especially as a non-Native TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:30:46 (1 hour ago) I have already accepted death because I got a wendigo oc. I only discovered the creature becuase my oc was made before I learnt about them. My unusual deerman with the taut skin and a thirst for blood. I apologise if I upset anyone with my username. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:34:52 (56 minutes ago) Fwiw the, like, "fanon" (not the right term but you know what I mean?) depiction of them has no root in any of the beliefs? No one really knows where that came from (except, like, white people trying to steal things that aren't theirs and mainstream religious figures for their own gain) So your OC can very well just be an angry bloodthirsty deer man that isn't infringing on First Nations beliefs and appropriating from a closed belief system not open to outsiders. I doubt you meant any harm, but I'd STRONGLY encourage you to not use the term or name in the future TrüêWêndïgø 09/Jun/2020 08:43:15 (47 minutes ago) I mean, I didn't try to steal anything, I just think the creature is awesome, kinda like the Sirenhead thing. I love to learn about mythology and legends. I think the only problem is that I've used the term Wendigo too much, and once again, I am sorry for that. I respect wishes and all that, but me learning about the creature and having my oc being a Wendigo kinda helped me through bad times. I like to create art [stories or drawings] keeps me happy. Again, sorry, but I would like to continue using the term. Only because of an oc. I understand how disresptectful I am, and I understand if you don't like this, but I'm not trying to upset anyone. ArdenInTheGarden 09/Jun/2020 08:50:10 (40 minutes ago) "but please sir, that's my comfort cultural appropriation and misuse of First Nations beliefs". Like,,,yeah, it is really disrespectful. You're using it wrong, and it's not open to you, and you can't use it. Comparing it to Sirenhead is also REALLY disrespectful? Like, you're taking a sacred piece of a belief system and equating it to a shitty Internet monster :/ I obviously can't force you but you're wrong and you're well aware that you are, and you're being selfish and unkind :// you need to stop, and I've been really nice about this and handling it because I know Natives are tired of having to do it, but please do not mistake my kindness and composure as a sign you can continue because you cannot.

Unfortunately I was unable to get screenshots of this conversation before my account was locked. Screenshots of the rest are available.

I filed a support ticket with the staff regarding it, which received no response

About an hour later I was greeted with this error, stating my account had been locked indefinitely for harassment and violation of the PG rule

I filed a second support ticket in order to appeal my account being locked and give an explanation to the staff. The following is the conversation between myself and Eltafez

It's 4:30 in the morning so forgive my ineloquence.

My language might have been slightly harsh in PMs with TrueWend*go, but they were violating the rules and have an inappropriate username and are flagrantly disregarding the racist roots their actions have. The Native community in every part of the world has faced consistent harassment and dealt with their culture being slandered, torn apart, erased, and what was left being stolen by people to use as a fun culture symbol or as a "sPoOkY mYtH". They are glorifying a being that is rooted entirely in evil and is the embodiment of the worst a person is capable of. They have created an identity around a creature of cannibalism, of r*pe, of greed, and of violence. They disregarded the polite explanations of the ramifications of their actions and the benefit of the doubt that they did not know what they were doing. By locking my account for this, you are sending the clear message that you care more for not rocking the boat than defending Native belief systems. As a US resident, I am already witnessing the brutal effects of silencing those speaking out against racism. You are aligning yourselves with oppressors. I will agree that my defense was perhaps overzealous. Moderators on many other sites I have been on have failed entirely in the past to defend the Native community and I was frightened this case would be the same and reacted strongly. I am still afraid this is the case as I am the one punished and they are, at last checked, still free to continue. Please unlock my account. If I am unavailable on the PMs, I can be reached at [REDACTED] for further discussion.

Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 12:21 The staff of PFQ do not condone or support any form of racism. In fact, the team is comprised of people living all over the world. Quite a few among us (myself included) are from a different culture and/or race. You're offended by a name - I'd like to counter that by saying you're offending the staff team by accusing us of something we're not. Cultural appropriation is something we cannot (and will not) enforce due to the sheer magnitude of it. You see books, movies, games - everywhere really, that handle mythical creatures and even real gods (take Egypt, Greece, Rome, ... to name a few). Like human beings, they develop and change over time. We can't lock someone for having the name Anubis or Iuno because there once existed a civilization that coined these names or terms. There's a public beach called "Wendigo Beach Resort" - if the term is so inappropriate, then why is it called that? The user you reported has done nothing wrong - our rules, as they're written, have not been broken. The site is British and it follows British laws. You, however, have broken them by harassing the user and mentioning words that are actually inappropriate in the English language. We are fine with people spreading awareness, but it stops when they try to force their own beliefs unto others.

The name of W"ndigo Beach is actively being fought by the Native community. It's not the "gotcha!" you think it is. The term is used (inappropriately) by garbage human beings who have gotten away with it and will continue to do so because of people like you who will never uphold any kind of justice for anyone but themselves. You have failed. You have failed, and you have defended your failure by attempting to deflect it. This is not the same as having the name of Old Gods. This is having a name equivalent to celebrating the lynching of the African American community. This is a name equivalent to saying "I support Nazis". This is a name that is, at its core, supporting pure evil. Your staff may be "diverse" but it is obviously still filled with narrow minded individuals who will step on the nA community to try and boost themselves. I am saddened. I am disgusted. I hope none of you are in any real position of authority around children because you are teaching them to do that which the British have always done: destroy, disregard, deflect. You have failed, and will continue to do so until you are capable of looking past your own biases to realize that you are wrong and you are disgusting in your defense of the status quo instead of justice.

Eltafez — 09/Jun/2020 18:06 Since it doesn’t look like your mind is going to change, I’ll do us both a favor and bid you a good day.

Gargle my dick and balls

And thus ended all communication with staff

Don’t let them get away with this, and don’t let them get away with thinking that they can do whatever they like (or nothing) without any consequence. Idleness is complicity, and they are sending the dangerous message that racism is tolerated. “We don’t support racism in any form” and “we’re not gonna do anything about cultural appropriation tho” cannot co-exist.

#pokefarm #pokefarm q #eltafez pokefarm #eltafez pokefarm q #racism tw #racism #cultural appropriation #wendig*ag

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skies-diary · 3 years

Text

The more I think about it, the more I think we should stop sending our children to school past grade 5.

More under the cut. TW for suicide mention, mental illness, gun violence mention, and assault mention.

Of course education is important, but schools dont really educate; not anymore. At least, "higher learning" like middle / high school and college don't. I can think of only two classes in grades 6-12 that I've ever used in my day to day life, and those were sex ed (which was comprehensive for me, but which many schools in the US arent even allowed to have on the syllabus) and home economics. The rest were really just full of meaningless facts that I was forced to memorize and that I likely won't remember by ten years after graduation.

It's not that I think people should be uneducated. It's that as early as 100 years ago, people wouldn't send children to school before they were six years old, and now preschools start enrollment at six weeks old. Its that I learned very little in my teenage years that I would ever use in my adult life. Its that school contributed to my depression and anxiety that started at age 11 when I was in sixth grade, and that I'm still struggling with today.

More than anything else, though, while elementary school taught to read and write and made learning a part of life, sixth grade and up made me hate learning. It taught me that learning is a chore to finish and be done with so you can do "fun things". It taught me that if you can't get something right on the first try, you're bad at it and theres no point trying. More than trying to get me ready to choose my own path in life, school was focused on three things; fidelity to country, unconditional respect and obedience to authority, and capitalism training.

Fidelity to country: Every single day started with the pledge of allegiance. Some kids didnt stand for it, and I wish I'd been one of them. On veterans day my senior year, our first hour teacher told the class that any students that didnt stand for the pledge that day would be sent to the office for "disciplinary action". After the pledge, the whole class was escorted down the hall to the room of a teacher who was also a veteran, and we all had to stand in a line to shake his hand and thank him for his service. At age 17, I didn't think that was too strange. At age 23, having lived through Trump's presidency and seen what nationalism and extremism looks like more clearly, I find it much more off-putting than before.

Unconditional respect for authority: For me, this really started in second grade. After first grade, I was transferred to a new school which was poorly managed. The school was understaffed and overcrowded, classrooms were wildly out of ratio and teachers were overwhelmed. My brother, in kindergarten, hardly knew how to spell his name by the end of the year, and that's only because he had extra-curricular support.

The school avoided any and all accountability by having a policy of "the teacher is always right", therefore placing all responsibility on the students for any learning difficulties they encountered. The school board thankfully let my siblings and I transfer to a more competent and less crowded school after I was physically assulted by another student (a boy from another class who tried to suffocate me), and my parents threatened a lawsuit against the district.

The expectation for unfailing respect was amplified in high and middle school, from the constant police presence in schools to the draconian dress code regulations to teachers who treated their profession like a power trip. I did have a lot of good teachers, but others acted like being a teacher gave them license to act like a drill sergeant.

Capitalism training: this is very different than career training. Career training would have taught us marketable, useful skills. Rather, my school district got us ready for the workforce by having us sit at a desk for eight hours a day, delegating us tasks to be completed in a set amount of time, or we'd have life-altering repercussions. We were young adults who had little to no say in how we spent our day to day lives. I feel like these things contributed a lot to spending my teenaged years feeling like I had no direction in life; a feeling that persists in adulthood and has caused me untold distress, from difficulty in career choice to suicidal ideation.

As a teen, I didn't really understand the point of it all. However, it seems fairly obvious as an adult. School was training for corporate life. Modern American schools are turning out kids who have very few life skills, who are primed to sit at a desk for 8 hours, completing largely meaningless tasks and putting up with bullshit from authority figures whom they know better than to question.

In my personal experience, everything past grade 5 had nothing to do with education; rather, it was a nearly decade-long indoctrination ritual to prepare children to take their place as an employee and "contribute to society" under Late Stage Capitalism. It's framed as a necessary part of life, but the truth is that historically, parents, extended family and community were the forces that educated children. They taught them the life skills useful to their time and culture. Today, for example, technological literacy is needed, but a Native American child in 1500 would have learned how to hunt, how to mend, and how to build shelter. A child in 4000 BC Egypt would have likely learned to grown plants in the Nile Delta and care for farm animals.

Learning is a part of life. Human brains are supercomputers that can recognize patterns like nothing else in the world. No teacher has to sit down a typically developing child and teach them to speak; they learn through daily life. Humans didn't learn to make fire in lecture hall. We're naturally curious and eager to learn as children, but after going through school, very few adults retain this enthusiasm.

I used to be able to read three novels in an afternoon. Now I struggle to finish a chapter. This shift did not come about until age 11, the same year I entered middle school.

Children go to school now because there is rarely any other choice. In most American families, both parents work, and if a child is in a single-parent household, it's even less likely they have a stay-at-home parent. This symptom of Late Stage Capitalism (parental absense) causes children to grow into adults indoctrinated into the system, which is causatious of Late Stage Capitalism. It's a cycle that can be hard to break.

But we have to do something. Education reform, finding a way to homeschool / educate through community, or even just stop having kids. I haven't had any children yet because I dont want to raise my babies to be corporate slaves for the Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk of their generation.

Because as it stands right now, America's schoolchildren that aren't gunned down by angry white men are coming out the other side of graduation depressed, directionless, and with one of the highest suicide rates (second leading cause of death for Gen Z) in human history.

What American schools are doing isn't just not working, it's purposefully malicious. We need to change.

#tw suicice #tw gun mention #tw mental illness #tw assault #late stage capitalism #capitalism #america #american school system #school reform #american education #my posts

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

Text

Daniel Michaelson: He Belongs to Himself

(for @whumptober2019, prompt: Recovery, I wrote a piece set during the trial/post-captivity - this is our second Ryan POV. Thanks to @orchidscript for a couple of lines I borrowed from our convo on the fandom version of this universe and to @pinkcupboardwitch for helping me pick my scenario)

TW: Brief reference to suicidal ideation, violence/torture/abuse (none depicted, but referenced)

Ryan Michaelson falls asleep on the couch with the impact statement he’s been working on a flutter of loose papers on the floor, scratched-out starting sentences and half-written paragraphs, occasional little nonsense doodles in the margins where he tried to think his way through this.

They want him to give some kind of speech, before sentencing. His parents provided a couple of videos and photos of Danny before it all happened, but they haven’t come to the trial since the first week and they’re not interested in speaking on Danny’s behalf.

No, just like the rest of his life, their parents will do the bare minimum for Danny and Ryan will step in to try and fill the gaps, to be brother and parents both. It’s so much harder with so little of Danny left.

How do you even explain what it means to have your brother disappear and then return, only it’s not your brother any longer?

He’s been working on figuring out where to even start with the impact statement since before the trial began, since the initial preparation with the lawyers. He writes a draft and discards it - writes another one and tears that one up, too. Cries for a couple of hours whenever he’s alone in his room, then starts again.

They want him to explain what it was like to lose Danny, and Ryan’s got no fucking clue where to begin.

Does he open with the night Danny didn’t come back to the apartment they shared, wasn’t answering his phone? Does he start with the increasingly frantic calls to all of his friends, to the single thread that ran through them - he said he was going to see that guy he’s been talking to - to the realization that no one could get ahold of Nathaniel Vandrum either?

Does he begin with what it felt like when the cops called to tell Mom they’d found Danny’s car with his cell phone in a puddle of blood on the backseat, abandoned in a ditch in Oregon next to the dead body of the owner of the next car the abductor had stolen? Or when the cops explained to Ryan that the phone had been charged and on for nearly a full day - meaning that whoever had taken him had watched Danny’s phone light up with call after call after call, had kept the phone charged just to see it?

Maybe he could explain, in stomach-churning detail, what happened in his mind when a police officer had sat across the table from him and told him that local law enforcement and the FBI had begun thinking in terms of recovery rather than rescue.

He has no idea. All he knows is that there isn’t any way, not really, to explain what it felt like to be told his brother was missing - presumed abducted - presumed the target of foul play - presumed dead - never coming home.

The weird insanity he’d gone through, thinking his brother was dead. Going from a college sophomore with a 4.0 to a junior who nearly had to drop out when his grades tanked and he spent a year trying to drink himself to death, thinking if he did at least he’d see his brother again.

He couldn’t begin to explain his parents strong-arming him into therapy, telling the therapist all his awful thoughts, sharing emotions with someone when he came from a family where you never did any such thing, and the revelation of the therapist just… giving him permission to grieve, when his parents never did, when he felt like a burden, when he didn’t know how to keep going without the older brother that had always been the surest, most concrete foundation of his world.

Maybe he should start with how it felt to get the call that Danny was alive, that Nathaniel Vandrum had simply driven a truck out of the woods in Western Canada like a goddamn soot-smeared pissed-off Wendigo with his frightened brother, a bag of his favorite books, and one hell of a fucked-up story about the last four years.

Did Wendigos even come from Western Canada? Ryan can’t really remember, his Native North American Folklore & Mythology class was during the drinking-to-death time and he doesn’t remember most of it.

It doesn’t matter.

He could start with the way he’d been elated and scared, the way his stomach had dropped when they’d told him that before he could see Danny, he’d have to talk to some kind of expert about what to expect, so he wouldn’t cause extra anxiety during a stressful reintegration.

He could start with the way the trauma expert had held his hand and told him Danny was severely dissociated - a word he’d never heard before that day - and might not even know who he was right away. The expert had tried to make him understand that Danny had been held in captivity by someone who insisted he was a pet and not a person, had undergone something called extreme dehumanization, more words Ryan hadn’t known before that day and knew all too much about, now.

He could tell them what it was like to see Danny sitting at the table, hunched over and looking at everyone from behind wavy red hair grown out a little longer than when he’d left, blue eyes wide and scared that he’d be in trouble for using a chair and not sitting on the floor, begging someone to tell him where Nate was, to bring him back into the room, could someone find Nate?

He could talk about the way Danny flinched away from his touch but ran to Nathaniel Vandrum.

Maybe he could just talk about how fucking weird it was to have your brother’s sort-of-possibly-a-boyfriend be the fellow captive who freed him, who tried to kill a man to save Danny, and who sleeps in Danny’s bed but as far as Ryan can tell does nothing more than kiss his forehead or his face now and then and hold him through his nightmares.

Maybe he could talk about wanting to shout in Nate Vandrum’s empty fucking face that he should have done something sooner, that he should have saved Danny when more of Danny was left to save, just wanting to grab Nate by the shoulders and shake him and scream why couldn’t you have been stronger for him?

He could talk about how it feels to find yourself snapping at a traumatized man because he has the audacity to be very slightly less traumatized than your brother, and because he’s something to take all of his grief and hurt out on.

Because no matter how hard Nate Vandrum’s jawline gets, no matter how cold and flinty his green eyes go, he never, ever fights back against Ryan’s deep well of unresolved anger.

He just stands there, taking all of Ryan’s yelling, like he’s earned it. And maybe he fucking has. Ryan could tell them all about how looking at Danny’s frightened shattered life makes him want to cut Nathaniel Vandrum’s composure apart, because… because how dare he be so calm and collected, when Danny hides in a closet after breaking a glass, begs to be punished, to be fixed?

He’d been up all night trying to figure it out, and he just can’t think any longer. He’s written line after line after line trying to start and the day they wanted him to give the statement was just a few days away now. What would he say? Anything he said, that asshole Denner would be sitting right there listening to it, probably getting off on how he’d wrecked Ryan’s life by stealing his brother, enjoying getting to learn about Ryan’s halting, grudging work alongside Nate to teach Danny how to be human again.

He’ll probably sit there and laugh through the speech, no matter what Ryan says. He doesn’t want to bare his broken heart to that sadistic psychopath.

He doesn’t want to admit that Danny is so supremely, thoroughly broken.

He doesn’t want to admit that sometimes he wonders if recovery is even possible, or if he would spend the rest of his life managing a man two years older than him who can’t remember his own age or that bills are due or the names of the people who used to be his best friends - but who can explain in exacting, excruciating detail the way Abraham fucking Denner made him step in a trap and nearly break his own leg, just to see him do it?

Ryan’s eyes blur, with tears or exhaustion - he’s not sure which - and finally he falls asleep on the couch with Netflix still playing, lets the papers drop to the floor, allows his eyes to close and force him out of his fears and all-consuming rage on behalf of a brother who seems no longer able to access the feelings that boil Ryan alive.

Ryan wakes up sometime later to the gentle sensation of a soft fuzzy blanket being placed carefully over him.

He shifts around, mumbling thanks and starting to drift back away, and for a second it’s like nothing had ever happened, really - like maybe he’s just fallen asleep studying, and Danny will be right there to laugh at him in the morning for not even making it back to bed.

The sound of the papers being shuffled back together wakes him the rest of the way and he groans, feeling the muscles of his back shifting around as he pushes himself up, rubbing at one eye. “Fuck, what time is it?”

If Nate Vandrum just put a blanket on him - if that passive asshole is reading Ryan’s halting attempts to explain the pain and grief he’s spent four years buried in - he might just punch him in the face. We’re not friends, motherfucker - you’re just the only person he’ll willingly touch, and I can’t bear to take anything away from him ever again, he’s already lost so much.

“2:45 in the morning, you fell asleep with Netflix still going,” Danny’s voice says calmly, and Ryan nearly jolts totally upright on the couch in shock.

Danny doesn’t look up, kneeling on the floor by the coffee table with his red hair falling over his face looking nearly auburn in the dark, carefully setting the pile of papers on the table before flicking at a miniscule, invisible speck of dust there. He’s shirtless, just wearing the warm, heavy flannel pajama pants that he’d asked Ryan to buy him, shyly, like Ryan could ever deny him anything he actually expressed a want for.

You were dead for four years, Ryan had said, wanting so badly to hug him, knowing at the same time that Danny would only go stiff in his arms and then suddenly go boneless and relaxed all at once in the awful way he’d been trained to accept any and every touch without complaint. You were dead and came back to life, Danny, I’ll give you anything you want for forever, man, just ask for it and it’s yours.

My name is Red. I-I just want some pajama pants that are really, um, warm and maybe with, uh, fleece on the, the inside-

Of course, of course I’ll get those, I’ll buy you a pair for every fucking day of the week.

Th-thank you for that. I get, um, I get cold a lot now. Thank you for listening to my request, Ryan. Thank you for being kind enough to give me-

Hey, this is just doing something nice. Don’t thank me, Danny.

Red, my name is Red, please, um, don’t call me the other name. When someone does something nice for you, you say thank you. Be grateful for every gift you are given, Danny had recited, he’s tilted, eyes distant. And every breath is a gift Abraham chooses to give.

Even in the darkness, Ryan can see the lines of scarring that run down his brother’s back and wrap up his arms, the oddly muscled shoulders (chopping firewood for hours is a good shoulder workout but I skipped a lot of leg days, Danny had joked one day, and Ryan had been so shocked by his brother showing a hint of a sense of humor that he hadn’t even remembered how to laugh), the ribs that stand out too much and the sharp hipbones showing above the waistband of his pants.

When Danny turns to look at him, the blue eyes are quiet for once, warm and focused right on him instead of fogged-over and frightened. The ring of scarring across his face is less obvious, with only the moon for light.

In those unexpectedly clear eyes he can see Danny, his big brother, and Ryan can’t do anything but stare. Are you still in there somewhere after all?

“What are you, uh, doing up, man?” Ryan rubs at his eyes again, but hesitantly, like Danny might disappear if he does. On the TV screen, Netflix is asking if he’s still watching and Ryan feels immensely, supremely judged by it.

Of course the fuck not, I wasn’t even watching -before- I fell asleep at midnight.

“Dreaming,” Danny says casually, off-handedly, as if ‘dream’ isn’t just a code word for ‘nightmare’ now, because it’s not like Danny has any other kind of dream. “Came out for water and found you on the couch. You look, um, you look cold, Ryan. Is… is it okay? To put the blanket on?”

“Yeah… yeah, of course it was. Thanks for that. I don’t even have the energy to get up and go to bed, I feel totally wiped.”

Danny nods, watching him carefully still. Then he drops his eyes back to the sheaf of papers on the coffee table. “Is that what you’re, um, you’re going to read about me?”

Ryan swallows hard against the lump in his throat and a deep instinctive urge to pull the papers away. Please don’t look at how hurt and scared I was, things were so much worse for you. I don’t want you to feel guilty for this. “Yeah. I suck at this, though, I barely have anything written.“

“You’ll, um, you’ll do good, I know you will.” Danny shifts around on his knees, looking up at Ryan, and it’s just such a welcome change to see him with clear eyes. “You’re not going to do a recording? You’re going to, um, to stand up in the, in the court?”

“Yeah.” Ryan drops his head back, staring up at the ceiling in thought. “I have my suit picked out already - the red one? Looks good with my skin. Funny that I know what suit I’m going to read in but no fucking clue what to actually say.”

“You’ll know when you stand up, you’re always good at speaking to people. Or you used to be.” Danny hesitates, and Ryan thinks again how young he looks, something about the uncertainty in his posture, the wide blue eyes, the mop of wavy red hair that hangs over one eye. “I think you probably still are - I guess I don’t, um, I don’t know any longer.”

If you met Danny and Ryan on the street, you’d never guess Danny was two years older… but you might guess, just by looking, that Danny is profoundly, deeply fucked up - and that Ryan is profoundly exhausted.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m probably the same. I don’t want to do it, but I do at the same time, you know?” Ryan flings an arm over his eyes, wondering why he’s so awake when he’s only even been asleep for a couple of hours, really. “It doesn’t matter what I say, does it? He doesn’t even want to be found Not Guilty. He doesn’t care.”

“Maybe not. But you should do it anyway, for you.” Danny hesitates, and then Ryan blinks and lowers his arm to stare as he feels the barest, nervous brush of Danny’s hand against his shoulder.

He turns to look down into wide blue eyes and a tense half-smile, Danny’s shoulders hunched a little, up near his chin, the curve of the scar along his cheekbone traveling down the side of his face and cutting into his jaw, lit by dim moonlight and nothing else until the red seems paler, more faded.

Danny is more than six feet tall but ever since he came back, he seems so, so much smaller. Something about the way he folds into himself, makes himself less visible and less of a presence in the world.

“… Hey, you, you haven’t, um-” Ryan cuts himself off, afraid speaking it out loud will break the spell.

You haven’t touched me since the night before you disappeared.

“I want you to speak. You’ll do really well,” Danny says with pure certainty in his voice - and it’s his voice, the voice Ryan remembers as the basic building block of his entire life. Danny had been a kid when he was adopted, but Ryan was still a toddler - and he had no memories Danny wasn’t a part of.

Not until four and a half years ago.

There’s a moment where Ryan doesn’t move, just feels the soft weight of the hand on his shoulder - Danny’s hands are sort of ruined, scarred and numb to temperature changes, but the weight of his touch is the same.

The same and so much more, all at once.

“Okay. I will, I promise. I’ll figure it out. You should head back to bed. If Nate wakes up, he’ll freak out if you’re not there.”

“He’ll come out and see I’m right here.” Danny shrugs, looking at him for a moment longer with those calm, thoughtful eyes - the opposite of how he’d looked since they brought back what was left of Daniel Michaelson for Ryan to try and put back together - but it wasn’t really an expression he’d ever worn before, either. “I don’t mind being awake. I don’t need much sleep now. I’ll nap while you’re in court, anyway.”

I know, Ryan thinks with a dip of despair. You sleep in the closet when we’re gone and you think we don’t know.

He fights it back and smiles, a little, reaching up carefully to lay his hand over Danny’s, sure he’ll pull away - but he doesn’t.

It feels like a goddamn miracle, but his brother doesn’t pull away from his touch.

Danny’s hand is cold, under his, and Ryan can feel the bumpy silk-soft ridges of scarring where that fucking bastard had sliced along over the tops of his veins, over and over again, creating a raised roadmap of the torture he’d put Danny through for his own sick entertainment.

“You should tell them about when we got super drunk at the company Christmas party and Mom and Dad caught us playing literal music videos off YouTube in the conference room and laughing at the Meatloaf one.“ Danny’s voice is a little dreamy, wistful.

"Y-you remember that?” Ryan’s voice goes soft. There were rules, Danny has explained again and again. One rule was to never think about Danny’s life before - to forget there had ever been anything else.

Danny’s memory is shot to hell from all the blows to the head and four years of nonstop panic and fear and being trained like an animal, kept like a pet. He barely remembers his own birthday.

But… but he remembers this.

“That was a couple months before I… um, left. I used to think about it all the time.” Danny looked away from him, briefly, and the line of his face, the profile, strikes Ryan all over again.

He took it for granted for so, so long before the morning Danny hadn’t come home and didn’t answer the phone.

Ryan was never going to take it for granted again.

“You never talk this much anymore,” Ryan says softly, marveling at the simple sound of his brother’s voice devoid of pleading or begging or reciting the parade of awful rules Abraham Denner forced him to memorize and live by. “I miss your voice.”

Danny just looks at him, and it’s silent in the middle of the night, the darkest hours. No birds outside, the apartment complex is quiet.

“That’s what you can do.” Danny’s voice is caught, thin and oddly strained.

“What?”

“Tell them you missed my voice.” He is still, so still, and then he seems to propel himself up off the floor to wrap his arms around Ryan, burying his head against his shoulder.

It has been four and a half years since Danny hugged him.

Ryan’s arms are up and around him too, feeling his brother’s chill skin, Danny’s hair brushing his forearm where his arms go around his neck. He can feel the raised bumps of scarring at the top of his back above his shoulder blades, the spots around his neck where Denner made him wear a barbed wire collar for days at a time, the way Danny’s shoulders are heavy muscle with skin stretched over it, without even an ounce of excess.

Danny starts to shake, and it’s only when Ryan hears the softest hissed intake of breath and feels dampness along the neckline of his T-shirt that Ryan realizes his big brother is crying.

“I’m so sorry,” Danny whispers in a broken, cracking voice, and Ryan feels Danny twisting his fingers into the fabric of his shirt just over his spine. The soft blanket slides down and away until it puddles around his waist where he still sits on the couch, holding onto the tall, lanky older brother who once used to hold him like this after his nightmares.

But God, Danny’s nightmare had lasted so much longer.

“I’m sorry,” Danny repeats, his voice shaking and thick with the tears that fall despite his best efforts to hold them back. “I’m so sorry, Ryan, I’m so sorry, I missed you so much… I, I’m sorry that I’m not the same person, that I came back the puppy, I’m so sorry that this is all that’s left, I know it’s not enough-… I’m s-s-so fucking sorry-”

“Sssshhhh,” Ryan says with his arms as tight as he can make them, as though Danny might disappear again if he doesn’t keep him firmly attached to the earth. “Ssshhh, don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault, I love you. You’re my big brother, still, okay?” He pulls back, gently extricating himself from Danny, putting a hand on either side of his face to look right into the blue eyes, still bright with more tears unshed, tear tracks following the line of his scars down his face.

Ryan’s own eyes start to glitter in the darkness, and he tries to blink back the tears but when he speaks, his voice has all his emotion laid bare in it, too. “I never stopped looking for you, not ever. I looked every day. I’d still look every day. I would never have stopped looking for you, for the rest of my life.”

“I never stopped thinking about you,” Danny says tremulously, putting his hands up over Ryan’s. "He, he made me stop thinking about anything but him but he couldn’t hurt me enough to make me stop thinking about you-”

Then they’re hugging again and it’s so quiet in the apartment, so quiet except for the sound of two grown men crying on each other’s shoulders.

“This is enough,” Ryan whispers against the top of Danny’s hair. “It’s enough that any of you came back to me, okay? We c-c-can find the rest, I can help you remember, I can help. This is enough. You’re enough, Danny-” He catches himself and winces. “Sorry. I mean Red.”

There’s a pause, and Ryan can feel his brother’s heart pounding. When Danny pulls back Ryan’s heart drops, but his brother just looks into his eyes and smiles, the barest little hint of one, and says softly, “Danny is, is okay, for now.”

Ryan’s breath is caught somewhere in his throat, and he pulls his older brother back into his arms. “Danny, then,” Ryan says with half-sobbed laughter. “Danny. Danny Danny Danny Danny.”

“Daniel,” Danny says with a shaking voice, as though Denner might simply appear out of thin air to punish him. Then, when nothing happens, Danny repeats it. “Danny. Daniel. My name is Danny. My name is Daniel M-Michaelson and I, I d-don't…be, belong to…”

“You got this, Danny, come on,” Ryan urges. “You can do this. Come on, Dan, we can do this together.”

“M-My name is Daniel Michaelson and I don’t belong to him, I don’t-… I don’t belong to anyone b-b-b-but myself,” Danny says softly, and then he starts to cry again.

Ryan holds him but it’s different this time - his shoulders are back and his back is straight and every sob sounds not like fear or sadness but like pure, unbridled relief.

It probably won’t last - the trauma expert and the therapist both said to expect every two forward steps to come with a step back. He might wake up and want to be Red again tomorrow. He’ll probably go back to not wanting to be touched by anyone but Nate.

But right here and now, in this moment in the middle of the night in the safest place there is for him, Danny remembers who he used to be, and it’s eough.

Suddenly, Ryan Michaelson knows exactly how he wants to start the statement he’s going to read while staring right at Abraham Denner.

A few days ago, my brother hugged me for the first time since 2015. My brother, who was subjected to every kind of twisted violence until he believed that it was too dangerous to even think of himself as human, answered to his own name.

I want to tell you how it feels to be told someone you love has been abducted. I want to tell you how it feels to look and look every single day for four years and find nothing - and be told that you should prepare for him to return in a body bag.

I want to tell you how it felt to learn that, due to the violence, abuse, brainwashing, and trauma he was subjected to, my own brother might not recognize me.

I want to tell you how it felt when they told me Daniel Michaelson was gone.

Then, I want to tell you how it felt when, despite all the odds and every statistic and the efforts of Abraham Denner to destroy my brother down to his very core, I was given the gift of looking him right in the eyes as he came back.

My brother’s name is Daniel Michaelson, and he belongs only to himself.

That might not seem like much of a revelation to many of the people here in this courtroom today - but for my brother, it takes immense bravery simply to believe he is his own.

I have been asked to speak about the impact the last four years has had on my family, and I will. I will speak about every day I combed missing persons’ reports throughout the Northwest Coast for similarities to Danny. I will tell you what it was like to lose him.

First I want to tell you what it meant to me to get him back.

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