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brainr0t-landfill · 2 months

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📋Compartment Syndrome

gn! reader x Captain Price

"...I had to kill it to keep it, framed it afterwards, above my bed so I could see it each morning."

-???

(tw: unhealthy relationship, phisical violence, mentions of drugs, minor mention of reader 'being the other woman')

You served John divorce paper today.

He's sat at the kitchen table blunt nails drumming against mahagoney as he look at you, then the documents, less surprised or heartbroken more expectant.

And it baffles you how a man so big can look so small, how a man that fills up doorways and commands the air around him like second nature can slump his shoulders, hide his tears with coughs.

İt was a few years in the making and even then you feel bad, this is the man you love, loved; you used to stay up at night waiting for his footsteps on the front lawn. You have to remind yourself that was over five years ago, back when he actually bothered with you and the home, the love he had vowed to build with you, left high and dry like an abonded building spiderwebs in the corners and illegible graffiti on the walls, suffocating dust clouds merging with ominous shadows.

You used to hotbox in buildings like that, you and what few friends you had back in the days he wouldn't even look your way.

"And-"

He lifts the first paper pretends to take a look at the one below that and pushes them away from him, a muscle feathers in his jaw.

"-your reasoning for this? I'd like to think you wouldn't ruin us over something petty luv."

He knows and you know that he knows, you've argued about it often, you wanted him to be home more, you wanted him to be safe, you wanted him to at least bother interacting with you beyond sex, dinner and whenever he couldn't find the remote.

It wasn't even about his job at this point the day you had married that bright eyed, headstrong young man you knew you'd always be the other woman to his job you just desperately want his shadow out of your home at this point.

You clear your voice ,eyes on your weathered house slippers.

"Look I don't want to offend you, I don't even wanna cut you off completely! I just think-"

"Straight to the point, sweetheart."

He emphasis the word sweetheart, today of all days, knowing how it makes you feel.

"Neglect."

You answer, his eyes widden ,nose flaring.

"Neglect? Oh please we've been over this honey, I don't neglect you I'm not home kissing your feet all the damn time because I have a fucking job to do! I'm the one who keeps a roof over your head and defends this country while you sit at home and twiddle your thumbs! God you're fuckin infuriating, this is why you can't find a damn job, you braindead homebody-"

"I started working at the new school, the one that opened last year, you didn't get my messages?"

He falters, runs a hand over his overgrown beard.

"You did? That's- luv that's amazing! How's the pay? Are your colleagues-"

"Let's- let's just stay on subject, please."

You tell him doing your best to keep your voice even and cold.

He deflates, leaning back in his chair as he sighs. He looks awfull, unshaven, hair greasy, shirt dotted with blood and one of his arms in a sling you'd said that it was important that you couldn't wait for him to change or shower, less you chikcen out like the first five times it used to feel impossible to leave him once, he was bigger than life with each little bastardized segment leading up to him in some capacity.

"Luv, listen I know you're frazzled I've been gone for a month and I was barely home for a week before that, I understand ya wanna pick at me and get ya anger out but I've had a long ass month, okay? I just want a shower, your cooking then I want to cuddle up to the love of my life, yeah? Give an old man a break and for fucks sake get rid of these."

He gets up with a groan and pushes the papers towards you it always suprises you, how quickly he can dismiss arguments you've spent hours thinking through, how small he can make you feel.

"Price, look-"

"What the fock did ya just call me?"

"-I know it's painful to think about but this relationship obviously isn't serving either of us anymore, you're too busy for it and I don't think I ca-"

He has you against the wall before you can even react, shoulders and chest crushing you against the smooth, pearly white surface as his humid breath warms your cheek, your arm twisted across your back in the grip of his good hand; pain like coke sparking cruel stars in your visom.

"Shut. The fuck. Up."

He growls in your ear mashing his nose against your cheekbone.

"There is no reason for us to be together, just listen to me for a second-"

You hiss in pain as he twists your arm further, your ring finger -adorned by his mother's heavy, heirloom ring- brushing against your shoulder blade.

"I love you and you love me, that's plenty reason to stay together. Isn't it?"

It's marvellous how much conviction he can put into that excuse when you're pretty sure it's his hundredth time saying it, slightly different context, same words. You almost miss the times you'd jump through hoops for a smile from him when he was indifferent to you because he had no reason to treat you any way else.

"Isn't it?"

You nod, cheek rubbing against the wall as your eyes water.

He relaxes his grip on your arm, presses firm, moist kisses against your face.

"That's my baby, I know you're upset, I know and I'll make it up to you, I promised 'n I always keep my promises don't I?"

Your face is sour with all the promises he broke, all the times he let you down, left you alone as you nod.

"Use your words luv."

You take a deep breath, trying to find your words through the pain of your twisted muscles, your straining elbow, your back straight and stiff as a cutting board that your arm is pinned on.

"Yes, John."

He clicks his tounge, sharp sigh brushing against the side of your face.

"I just got injured ya ought to be a little bit sweeter."

"Yes,-"

You take as deep a breath as his crushing body allows.

"Yes, honey."

He smiles, letting go of you and stepping back allowing you- granting you space to breath, to turn around and rub at your burning arm something too close to guilt for comfort in his eyes. You stay like that for a few moments, feeling his eyes across your skin; slow and heavy like his hands like something you have to work to keep on you.

"One last thing?"

You look up, his eyes are wet. He hands you the divorce papers. Your lawyer will be so disappointed.

"Rip them and think about what you're doing next time, how your actions affect me."

You take them, the pristine paper shaking in your hands as your rip them, barely seeing through your tears you walk over to the bin.

He looms over you, broad shadow blanketing, eclipsing yours, swallowing it. He wraps his good arm around your waist when you're done, presses his barrel chest against you stil-stiff back and flutters kisses from the base of your neck up to your jawline.

"Y'know I love you."

#call of duty x reader #captain john price x reader #cod x gn!reader #angst #tw codependency #tw marital abuse #tw neglect #captain price x reader #captain price x you #hurt/angst #hurt/comfort #ig?

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msfbgraves · 1 month

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((Anyway, Terry is always haunted by the fact that he hurt his relationship with Daniel himself, on purpose,))

THAT’S JUST IT THOUGH! Did he actively seek to hurt Daniel from the start (that night), or after (the cheating). Because if so…that’s so very cruel and brutal, and also…what the hell was he thinking?? That sweet Danny boy would just accept that and forgive him and still run back into his arms all ready to be cuddled or something?? There’s fucking up, and then there’s Terry Silver’s level of Fucking Up. He is very lucky that Daniel has forgiven him for ALL his fuckups—he should get down on his knees and thank the Lord! So sorry you have to put up with this fool Daniel lmao 🤣 I AM glad it haunts Terry though. Hopefully until the day he dies!

(But yeah, love them together in this fic 💜)

I'm reopening a can of worms here but yes, Terry did mean to hurt Daniel, if it started by him wanting to hurt Michael.

Except he couldn't, he lost a confrontation with him, felt he'd lost face, so what's the nearest thing to Michael he has available to him? Daniel. Daniel whose loyalty he doubts. Daniel he can have sex with, always a bonus, because it makes him feel good and strong; but tonight, he's also angry with Michael, very lowkey angry and insecure about Daniel's very strong attachment to his roots - would Daniel even side with him if it came to it? And sure, he's not analysing this consciously when he comes home to him, it's simply a brutal mix of circumstances, but still - you can hurt someone while having sex with them, something which is very difficult to prove to boot so when the opportunity arises he simply does what he wants with Daniel because he wants to prop himself up and hurt the LaRussos and get his anger out at Daniel's 'lack of loyalty' without endangering Daniel's physical health. Because that would show. And because he still loves him but that's not what he chooses to act on. And he's choosing not to stop himself but simply let out all these simmering irrational resentments, because, well, he's the Alpha here, he makes the rules.

And he thinks he can win his omega back after because he deep down doesn't think his mate will be very hurt by this. Hurt enough to satisfy Terry's ego, but nothing he couldn't fix. And all of this errupts in like 20 angry seconds, and Terry's angry, horny ass feels he'll deal with the consequences after he gets his fix of happy and ego boosting chemicals.

And a nice deep sleep.

And it's brutal. It's meant to be really brutal. It's so brutal in fact that even Terry wakes up hungover from this. He was, maybe, lost in the act when it happened - but part of him picked up on what Daniel's puppies could also feel, and that is: "uhoh. I hurt him - much more than I meant to."

But then when Daniel won't let him apologise - won't let himself be kissed and cuddled and wined and dined and bought back, but takes the baby and leaves, only for Terry to have to deal with four distraught pups and a seething mother-in-law - he lets his anger win again. Because he wasn't truly sorry. Daniel was supposed to make him feel better about himself, and he's left him. That is Not Allowed. Danny doesn't get to reject Terry, in any verse.

Only when Terry then physically feels the difference between his darling and some "kitty" does something finally shut up his ego long enough to make him realise what he's done, the idiot.

These two nights have a very, very long shadow because Terry had to learn that he didn't conquer Daniel and a great marriage like this is simply his due. He has a good marriage because Daniel has put his entire soul into building it and he can stop doing that, actually. Also that Terry better pray Daniel loves his mate and his pups enough to keep Terry alive. Even Amanda was like: "I love my brother to death but even I lowkey agree you should have killed him over this." And Terry does learn, but terrible actions like these have more severe consequences than any apology can negate. And it will colour your marriage, it will change how you love each other. Because they love each other through this, but at the cost of Daniel's innocence and Terry's confidence as a mate. Part of Terry used to fear that Daniel wouldn't grow to love him. Now, he'll always have to fear that Daniel will stop. Which makes him an insanely devoted mate, but at the cost of his peace of mind.

Pray all he wants, not even God can fix this completely.

#silverusso #knights and pawns #omegaverse #mob au #tw marital abuse #marital rape #r*pe tw #sa mention #abuse tw #tw cheating

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sir-qwillian-ferne · 17 days

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Avemour lore thread ! ! !

Content warnings include: Child abuse, spousal abuse, gore, mutilation, child murder, cannibalism, autocannibalism, some themes of self-harm (mostly tied to the autocannibalism), and more. Read at your own risk.

Let's start this out with a nice OUTWARD perspective look at Avemour, rooted heavily in her public view. This is pulled directly from my card project, with Avemour as the Ace of Hearts.

Avemour is the oldest child of the previous king of the Farlyxe empire, though an illegitimate child at best. Their exact lineage is not well known, but he has been accepted as part of the royal family nonetheless, although it would likely cause uproar should she actually have sought the throne... They seem uninterested, however, and prefer helping his brother King Azailenne manage the workload alongside the two's other siblings.

Avemour is known to be a tad naive and ditzy, it's a miracle that she has yet to be tainted by the cruelty of the world. Their siblings take great care to make sure it stays that way - her having a meltdown would be impossible to manage.

Unlike most Xanthryx false angels, Avemour lacks wings and does not appear to eat human meat. It's widely assumed that he is half-human themselves, due to the cloudy nature of their lineage.

Now let me say how much of that is outright WRONG.

Avemour is not the oldest child. They're the oldest LIVING child.

Avemour is neither naive nor ditzy. They have an interesting combination of over-awareness of their surroundings and complete lack of self preservation (stemming from prioritizing any and everyone over themselves)

they have been hurt. a lot. His kindness is borne from cruelty, not the absence of it.

She does not need protection. Also his siblings talk about him behind his back and he KNOWS it.

Avemour is not half-human. But they ARE only half-Xanthryx

I'll add onto this thread in a bit with more.

( @officesupplied )

#tw child abuse #tw child death #tw marital abuse #tw spousal abuse #tw mutilation #tw gore #tw cannibalism #tw self harm #tw s3lf harm #tw autocannibalism #tw murder #tw child murder #oc #fandomless oc #Avemour

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nychthemeron-rants · 2 months

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My personal headcanon for how Niffty died is that she killed her shitty husband, but her husband killed her back.

#idk if we have an actual reason for her death #but I stand by my headcanon #like her husband did something to piss her off so she decided to off him #given how niffty is idk if his offense was valid or not #but because she either poisoned him with cleaner or just fucking went after him with a knife #he caught on and decided to stab her three times (the three blood spots on her clothes)#he died first but the wounds he gave her ended up killing her too #tw marital abuse #tw domestic abuse #marital abuse #domestic abuse #niffty hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel

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kismetkween · 22 days

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An exchange of control

“I try in vain to be persuaded that control is anything but the intersection of rage and desire.”

Today is an odd one, I went to my dad’s for Easter I did not pressure Ben to go. He had plans to fix his truck and help Chrissy move. The past week Ben and I have been sitting in the wake of the news that I am moving to Ohio. We decided not to divorce quite yet and play it separate. This has been very casual, and everyone is digesting it well.

His GF(ish) is moving into a new apartment and starting over from scratch. He has offered her some of our furniture from the garage storage to give her a head start. Kurt and I continue to work towards a life together we don’t know what that looks like, but we know we want to love and support each other in our quest to be the best versions of ourselves.

Ben and I have been together for 16 years. He has always yelled, and we broke up a lot and our day to day has been touch and go. Highest of highs and lowest of lows. I always thought we were a relationship and we loved each other and were strong and resilient and stayed together for better or worse.

Then there came a time when he yelled at me when I did anything I enjoyed, or when we tried to have a discussion or debate or if I did not respond to something he said properly. I carried guilt for losing interest, but it was not that, I can see that now. It was not wanting to put myself in the way again.

I lost my interest in sex but, … Who can bring them to fuck someone who hates them. I am not trying to be emo hate is the appropriate word.

Anyone, (even your partner) Who finds the places and times you are to be the most vulnerable (in your home) and then chooses to be the most malevolent presence in your life, they are not your friends and they do not like you.

If I am wrong how else am I to tell? Name-calling? check. Knowing the things I hate and doing them anyway? check. Being petty? check.

If I was going to a party and found out this person was going to be there… I would not go. If I found out this person was to be educating my son, I would not allow it. Why do I go home? Why do I allow?

I no longer feel bad.

It does not mean he is a bad person I do feel these things that spark his rage are born in a conflicting place for him. I just don’t want to participate in it anymore.

An example that became relevant today,

A few months ago, (find date) I was working, from home, I was trying to update a game so Sterling and I could play together later.

I asked Sterling to get my controller and start the update. Ben started helping him look, of his own volition, and I suggested moving the couch. To look under and in it.

He said something about the clearance of the couch to the floor and how would it fit under there, I did not understand why I was supposed to know that and why he was upset about me not knowing that.

We fought about it really badly, He called me a fucking idiot in front of my son. We went back and forth a bit longer about it and eventually got quiet. Nate stood between us, and I mumbled, “No wonder I want to fucking kill myself this is what happens when I try to have a good morning.” He piped back up that if I wanted to kill myself it was not his fault, it was because I was a weak person especially if that is all It takes to make me want to die” I called my dad and his mom. I wanted to leave but I didn’t.

Cut forward to today he is hauling around furniture he bought me to give to her. Here is where things confuse me. I have no interest, even at times I have tried to force myself or move parts of me around, they are burned and can no longer connect with him.

I even feel as though I have moved on at a higher level. I have found and loved and lost people more dynamic and more interesting. I am literally in love, and it is the best feeling ever. All he has done is like… fucked another and that does not interest me.

I definitely don’t envy her, or him...

I do, however, find it very very hard to admit I am not worthy of love. I cannot understand how she, a person he barely knows, is worthy of more respect and effort than his wife and the mother of his child. The person who does a lot for him. Who is always there to love him the day after he has fucked up. I have huge issues with these feelings of inadequacy.

He does not treat me as a person he loves or has ever loved.

I have written about this a million other times, but If I ask him to do something, or need his help with anything, it is always a huge fight. The kind with ugly words and screaming not the kind where you finger wag and say “boys will be boys” the kind where you wonder to yourself, who in their right mind wants to fuck a grown man who throws a fit about cleaning up after himself.

But honestly, he is generous and helpful... Just to everyone but me. Free car work for his friends and family, his sister or mother need painting, moving, yardwork? He is on it.

Others, people who only call when they need something, they had him for a whole weekend and he will call me annoying or needy if I called him and ask him when he is going to call him because I want him to spend time with me or his son.

Last week he and I got in to a screaming match where he mocked me and made fun of me and threw my words up in my face. Because he was laid up in bed all week with some girl and wanted me to do all the dishes while I was out of town. I refused.

His own dishes.

This sounds like old sitcom wife stuff but it bothers me on a fundamental level that is “why them and why not me... and if them and not me... why do I?”

But he moved an entire garage full of furniture for her on his only day off, on a holiday he could have been spending with Sterling. She needed it and she deserved it and he should have. It is not a matter of her getting more than me it is me seeing a baseline of his efforts and what he is willing to do for those people and then questioning why I do not qualify for those same efforts.

What is wrong with me and my all and why does it not compare to a common person and their bare minimum? I sometimes am just embarrassed.

Embarrassed that I am still here, embarrassed that I have not done anything effective to stop it. Embarrassed that, I have changed so much of myself to make it work, and given so much of my time to a person who does not want good for me. Who does not want me to succeed.

I think I am mostly embarrassed because it took me so long to realize. There is a part of me that is baffled, as I am not able to function in any other environment when I am humiliated. I don’t know how I am able to keep it together here. I think because I am using all my energy at home I do not have enough to do anything and it is just cyclical.

When it comes to the yelling itself. I have asked for it to stop for the entirety of our relationship and he says he cannot help it but it is a weak excuse.

In the past 16 years, I have seen him get so angry, blood boiling mad at his siblings, friends, and bosses and other people and he has never yelled at them. I have tried to counter this in anyway. I have tried fixing the issues that he is mad about, I have tried talking to him, emailing him calmly, I have tried walking away, shutting down conversations and even try yelling back.

When I consistently used that approach, it was when his niece was here, this was just following I would say, that happiest period we had, the most relationship success we had. I complained a few times to him mom and sister who simply replied “yell back” it seemed just that simple. Maybe I had been overthinking it. Also it seemed to solve the issues I was having with my niece witnessing the yelling. I didn’t want her to think I was just, “taking it” I wanted her to see strength but instead I showed her desperation, being backed in a corner.

Either way the irony came when he sent me an email telling me that if I cannot stop yelling I need to leave his house along with several other threats to my security (not my safety.)

So why does he do it to me if it is unsuccessful, and it is not a method he uses with anyone else? If I ask him I always get confirmation of my greatest fear. The problem is me, my issues, my health, my inability to understand. I am constantly changing. There is no way that every single version of me has been a problem.

I know he is wrong whether he means it or not. He does mean it though. If he is in a good mood later, if he is better and open to discuss it I have begged for apologies that he has told me I do not deserve. I have given him a thousand sorries he has not earned just so he does not have to carry the weight around with him. I donot believe he does not care how I feel, I believe he wants me to feel badly.

I have seen his behavior with Chrissy, He wines and dines her, goes to restaurants he hates, he showers, he cleans the room, cleans the house, he doesn’t disrespect her, he helps her with tasks. He treats her like a person.

He won’t clean up after himself if it helps me, he WANTS me to work around him. He will not even wash the sex of someone else off of him before he crawls into my bed in the middle of the night because he wants me to be uncomfortable.

I want to be treated like a person by everyone but especially a person I have to face at my most private and vulnerable, in my own home. I want all I do for him to be valued and in return I simply want to not be abused.

He could have done these things for me, when I asked him too, long ago. He didn’t because he didn’t want to. He did not want to give me effort. If I say these things need to change or I go, and he does not fix them, he wants me to go.

The amount of time I have stayed where I am unwanted is embarrassing but It took so long for me to realize this is abuse. Halloween really did it for me I have written about it a bit but not always in the mood to reflect on it.

Now that I have a plan to leave though… I cannot put it back in the box. I cannot unsee it as abuse. Even if I am humiliated I need to go back to whatever lobotomized state that allowed me to stay and ignore the obvious.

Because the fear, and humiliation and anger at wasted time makes it so hard to stay. I don’t want to waste another minute. 71 days I keep telling myself. I just can’t pretend enough to make me stay or ruin all my progress. I think that is what scares me the most.

Long story, less long. As he was moving the couch, after all the damage has been done and we both have new partners, when I can never look at him again without seeing every name, he has ever called me, the controller fell out of the couch.

I don’t care about the controller. I bought a new one that day without rage. Knowing things get lost, living in the world in which we have to pivot. Where abuse will not unlose things or unruin relationships, or uncall someone an idiot.

But it has taken me months to realize that he never cared about the controller either. When he found it, He brought it to me, beaming with pride, waiting for me to thank him. Waiting for me to tell the story where he was the hero. He cared not about the controller but control. For so long, he wanted to control me. Not even for what I was offering just so things don’t change for him. I used to be more angry, more willing to fight, sometimes I was the opponent he needed. I would fight my own nature to be what he needed. I think it validated him. I think all his life he has waited for someone to fight for him and not against him. He has trauma too and I acknowledge that but when mine has been an issue, I fix it. I take time off work, I get medication, I talk to therapists, I change things. When I asked him straight forward, are you going to change, and he said he had no interest in changing, I knew there were no longer things here that he can control.

I see the irony, the OCD girly is remarking to others about control, but I am also willing to change to be kinder. To be nicer and I need an environment that supports that.

I don’t know how to say this other than the fact I am wildly dynamic. But I don’t think he is bad, I don’t think he is a bad guy. I think we are like most couples, we did fine for a long time and somewhere along the way we started putting fights off for later and so many unresolved issues came up, and everytime we speak ot think of the other so much hurt and ugly comes out and no one wants to be hurt and ugly all the time. // I know this just seems like a wild rant with no point but the point is, I am releasing my guilt, I carry it no longer. I do have a touch of guilt about introducing Ben and Chrissy, I don’t think it was very “girls’ girl” of me but ... I don’t think he will be cruel to her. I think they can find peace and happiness and I don’t believes he deserves to be alone.

There is so much more to discuss but I hope to be more coherent with my thoughts..

https://kismetkweenx.wordpress.com/about/

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ghostly-stories-by-agispa · 2 years

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Dear Alice

an original story i wrote and won a writing competition with :]

words: 2000-2500

tw in tags!

[wersja polska]

Dear Alice,

In the near future, I will be on my way home and as you read this letter I am probably waiting for my train to arrive. Even surrounded by crowds of people I am going to think about you and wonder if your body is still the perfection I left. Are you still without a fault, are you still as delicate as a porcelain doll?

Being away there was not a day I would not wonder about the taste of your lips and your skin delicate and soft underneath my fingertips. I would dream about you every day, every known movement of your muscles, every smile you gave me, every moment spent worshipping your body, and every gesture you pointed at me.

You are mine and I have never been scared to say it and I will repeat it times and times again until my last breath escapes my lips. It is the most honest of truths: you are my perfection, my silent symphony only I can hear, my muse and my false god. You are the only god I would beg for forgiveness, the only ghost of the past I am not scared of keeping close.

In the last days when life was still passing behind the cell's iron bars, I remembered your face and wondered if it was still the same. Do you still have the mark underneath your left eye, do you still smile with the left corner of your lips turned higher? I could not remember just one thing back then – what was your lipstick colour the day I said my last goodbye? Now I know, it was pink, the same shade as the roses I gave you for your birthday. I wonder if you still use it.

I’m coming home, Alice

Your dear husband, Noah

—_—

Dear Alice

While waiting for my train I started thinking about our first dates. When I am finally on my way home, the question remains. How long has it been since I last felt genuinely alone? I do not remember the time in my life without your presence or without you on my mind. Was there someone before you? I do not know, I have no clue, I do not care. Because you are the only one I remember.

When you are reading this letter I will be on my way through the centre of our city. I will probably go and buy some flowers for you, the vase on the table has been empty for so many years without me. Probably I will be looking at how the sun is illuminating houses in bright colours of sunset and at people doing last errands.

That tiny flower shop on the corner of Seventh and Roosevelt, do you remember it? It is run by this small Hispanic woman, Abuela as all customers call her, she is lovely. Every time I would come by she would ask about you, even after all these years she still has that distinctive accent. I have told her several times about our first weeks and months, shy about ourselves and the future. But I have never told her about our first spontaneous date, do you remember it? I will tell her about how your hair shone in the afternoon sun and how your summer dress weaved in the wind as you laughed till you cried while running in the wildflowers.

I will buy you a bouquet of wildflowers with those special ones waived in, those small white ones that remind me of you. I will walk with them in my hand along the promenade all while looking at our house standing beautifully at the end of it. I will probably find you in our garden, dirty up to your elbows with dirt, you will probably be doing the weeding by those yellow roses that have been growing by the fence since we moved in. I know you did not get rid of them, I know you too well to think that. When you see me you are going to run to me to greet me with a hug and I will trap you in my embrace. You will not even notice as I squeeze you so hard you stop breathing.

Our neighbours never liked me, they probably hold their breaths when they notice me coming close to you. But what is that they worry about? I would never hurt my little porcelain doll closed safely in my world. No, not mine. Our little corner of the Universe, our privacy. Where today does not end and tomorrow will come when I let it.

I am coming home, Alice

Your dear husband, Noah

—_—

Dear Alice,

When I write this letter I can still see the stars behind our kitchen window as I sit by the kitchen island, writing by the street light. I do not want to wake you up with a proper lamp.

Even being away from you divided only by a corridor, I miss you. The same way I missed you when I was forced to be away for three years. I never said goodbye, did not have time back then. But I still remember how you looked when I left the house that morning. You look so different now – if I had to compare you then with you I left in our bed minutes ago, you’d be like a Sun covering Earth with your glorious light, while back then you were just a candle – bright yet tiny.

You’re glowing, my dear. Two days ago I wondered if I should shove the scissors into your neck as I cut your hair – so beautiful and thick, just the same way I remember them, now reaching your shoulders. I was thinking if the police would consider it an accident and if I would be forgiven in court. Just two days ago. And yesterday we were celebrating our first child, our new miracle that is going to meet the world in nine months. Isn’t that just wonderful?

Have a nice day,

Noah

—_—

Dear Alice,

When you’re reading this I am going to be in my new job, waiting for new tasks from my new boss. You’ll be standing in our kitchen in your short flowery pink pyjamas that show off your legs, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper laying on the counter. Or maybe you’ll be still in bed, watching birds fly around behind the window. No matter where you’ll be, you’re going to think about last night, how I caressed your body and you silently committed to my movements. Not letting yourself make even the smallest of sounds, because you know I do not like it. My silent queen, so loud yet mute.

Since we were young, I called you my sculpture, my painting and that’s how I want to keep you. You’re beautiful, the most stunning in my eyes and only mine. If I could I would keep you locked in our house on a leash, closed behind the doors as if you were my secret, but no, even the most precious of dogs need their sunlight, need to breathe. And those flowers in the garden would die without you, right? My little gardener.

But, I was just wondering, why do you keep coming over to the hedge? You never planted anything there because the soil is too sandy and you don’t cut down the bushes as it’s my job. Is it Isabelle? I have told you so many times to stop talking to her, you’re too important to hang out with that obscene whore. How much have you told her, how much does she know? Is it why she’s been looking at me weirdly? You probably tell her everything you think about, don’t you? She probably can’t stand our perfection compared to her helplessness, not worth a damn life. You are mine, not theirs. My little perfection.

But it’s honestly so sad that the hydrangeas left by my mother died. You probably already forgot about them, didn’t you? Such small detail and yet it hurts so badly and it’s all the fault of such an ungrateful bitch like you. You probably wasted your life partying like there’s no tomorrow with your “friends” instead of keeping an eye on flowers, to keep them alive, healthy and perfect. But they’re all dead and because of whom? Please, tell me, whose fucking fault is it that they’re dead?

But it’s said that everyone makes mistakes so we can assume I forgive you yours. Some say it’s humane. Even if you’re a god-like perfection.

Your loving husband,

Noah

—_—

mom dad

im sorry for everything that i kept silent and that youre getting this info by a letter. say sorry to liss too i know we havent seen each other in so long but i couldnt because he came back

i think its my last goodbye i dont know how much ill be able to last with him im so scared im so goddamn scared i dont know what is going to happen

this letter will be send by isabelle our neighbour i have no way to do it myself. he locked me in i dont have a phone not even keys i have nothing

i love you and im sorrry

ali

—_—

Dear Alice,

It would be so nice to see you, sitting obediently in our house, just the way I told you to. You look amazing in our house, in the place you truly belong, just like Lolita belonged by Humbert’s side. Do you remember that book? I read it to you ages ago. It was a great book, we should read it again, together. But it has to wait till I’m back.

My heart hurts whenever I think about how I left our house, leaving you alone. I’m so scared that you might get hurt without me there, so vulnerable, so innocent, so unprotected. Even inside a well-known house. It’s been several weeks since I was locked inside this place. No matter how many times I explain to them that I’m of sound mind, they don’t understand.

This place is empty, without personality but still quite interesting. I can’t read books or watch TV so I observe. Many people stuck alongside me seem alike empty shells, sulking without will. Some seem full of unreleased energy as if this weird institution gave them new power to live. Some say I look empty but happy. I don’t know if I believe them.

My days are filled with wondering about you, about me, about our future. I was thinking about a name for our future daughter. What do you think about Laverna? I’ve got it from one of my companions but I don’t want to decide until I hear it from your lips. Our child has to have a name that sounds like the sweetest psalm sung by you, my angel on this sad Earth.

I miss you,

Noah

—_—

Dear Alice,

It has been weeks since I last wrote to you. Now when I’m writing your name I don’t see a woman, but a ghost of my past. Not so long ago whenever I talked about you I treated your name like a prayer tasting the sweetest of aphrodisiacs, now I only feel cyanide-layered memories of good days on my tongue.

When I last wrote to you I didn’t think of you as a dream I’m unable to reach far off the coast but as the last safe place on the empty ocean, the entrance to our private paradise. Now you’re just a memory woken up by ghosts of the old universe. I’ve seen your parents and asked where you are.

Alice, why didn’t you tell me you were dead? What didn’t you tell me that I pressed my hands to your slim neck helping you fall asleep for the rest of the eternity? Why didn’t you tell me I spent those nights with your dead corpse in our bed? Why didn’t you tell me I won’t see our first daughter?

Why did you lie to me, why did you let me believe that you’re still alive? Why did you make it about yourself again when we’re a duet?

Noah

#tw murder #tw pregnancy #tw abuse #tw marital abuse #story #original story #english #tw dehumanizing language #tw spousal abuse #tw name calling #tw intrusive thoughts

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sapphic-agent · 5 months

Note

Can you please get into how much the fandom demonizes Rei? Like, I’m not disagreeing that she wasn’t the best mother. But people really turn this woman (who is financially, socially, AND emotionally dependent on her husband and Clan!) into some abusive mother who WANTED to burn Shoto’s face! When it’s obvious that she was begging her mother to take her away from the house because she was too stressed out from Endeavor’s influence and Touya’s death!

I don’t know, I just think she’s not a perfect mother, but nobody can be a perfect mother. She clearly did her best with what she had, and who would’ve believed her if she said Endeavor was an abusive husband and father? The police? Other heroes? No! I bet Endeavor would’ve claimed that SHE was the terrible parent and that she was suffering from PPSD (which, she probably was, four kids, two of which were born when Endeavor started getting obsessed with overcoming All Might? She definitely had that) and she would’ve ended up in the hospital no matter what.

Let's talk about it😈

So I was actually skimming through the manga where Shoto mentions this. He says that his mother was pushed and pushed by Endeavor until she just broke. And I love this because Shoto understands that his mom was in a shitty situation and never intended to hurt him. Unlike this shitty fandom, he's aware enough to see who was the abuser and who was the one who made a mistake.

Let's go over Rei's past for a minute. She:

Grew up in an environment that was at the best neglectful and at the worst abusive

Was sold like an object (and yes this is canon, the Himura Clan canonically sells their children it was a forced marriage, not an arranged marriage)

Married Endeavor and had Touya at 18

Already, she was dealt a shitty hand. Endeavor is also four years older than her, so he was 22 while she was only barely an adult. Even outside her being bought by him, there's a huge power imbalance here. Even if he was polite and nice in the beginning, she was at a major disadvantage in their "relationship."

One of my gripes with Horikoshi and the later parts of the manga is the retcon of the Todoroki past. How Shoto tells the story and how it's portrayed later are very different.

In Shoto's version, Endeavor hit Rei for defending him from Endeavor. In the Touya flashback, she tripped. In Shoto's version, Endeavor only saw his children as means to an end. In the Touya flashback, he's portrayed as caring about them. In Shoto's version, there's a menacing and villainous aura surrounding Endeavor. In the Touya flashback he's portrayed normally.

And this is done to make Endeavor look more sympathetic. Which is bad not only because he was an abuser who doesn't deserve sympathy, it also antagonizes Touya and Rei in the process.

(People could argue that Shoto's love for his mother and young age make him an unreliable narrator. But to me this is dismissing the victim. Shoto might have been young, but he recalls enough to tell it in excruciating detail. It was a huge part of his life and writing it off like that does him a disservice)

So there are two instances specifically that people demonize Rei for.

1. Shoto's Burn

Now this is the one that is her responsibility. My thing is though... No one ever said it wasn't? Least of all Rei herself. Once she saw Shoto again, she immediately apologized. During the event itself, she realized what she did and broke down and tried to fix it. She also spent 10 years in asylum paying for what she did (which is more consequence than Endeavor faced btw).

The thing no one seems to acknowledge about this is that this didn't come from nowhere. She didn't do what she did out of cruelty or hatred towards her son. She did it because Endeavor had abused her to the point of insanity. To the point where even seeing them in her kids' faces caused her to have a complete mental breakdown. Which is understandable due to the physical, verbal, financial, and sexual abuse he was putting her through.

You know, there's an irl story like this. A woman was suffering from severe PPD and other mental issues after having four kids I think it was. Doctors and everyone repeatedly told her husband that she souldn't have more kids. He didn't listen (I'm not sure if SA was involved here but I'm inclined to believe it was) and they continued to have more. Eventually one day she snapped and killed her children.

PPD is seriously dangerous when it's left untreated, even worse when that isn't the only thing going on. Rei was no doubt suffering from the ramifications of that, but on top of everything else Endeavor out her through I can't believe she didn't break earlier.

2. Touya's Situation

It baffles that people find it in themselves to blame Rei but feel sympathy towards Endeavor over Touya.

Because on top of every instance of abuse I mentioned above, Rei was also taking care of four kids completely by herself. That would be hard even without her own and Touya's mental issues.

From the manga panel I provided, she was the only one between her and Endeavor taking Touya's mental well-being seriously. She knew how having more kids would affect him and she was right. She was the one who had to deal with Touya lashing out when Endeavor ignored him (which also contributed to her breaking down and burning Shoto due to Touya emulating Endeavor).

Rei is a character who's been judged so unfairly. Partly because Endeavor fanboys, partly because Dabi/Shoto fangirls, and completely because of the misogyny that runs rampant in this fandom. She deserved so much better.

I have a fic giving Rei the justice she deserves if anyone's interested. It features my OC who happens to be Rei's quirkless younger sister. Give it a read if you want

#mha critical #bnha critical #rei todoroki deserves better #tw child abuse #tw marital rape #anti endeavor #anti enji todoroki

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mx-loar-tev · 4 months

Text

Okay but imagine, Regina waking up one morning to a baby crying.

She's confused, why is there a baby in her house? She should be alone, Henry had left months ago.

She investigates the noise and finds the child in Henry's old room, now back to the state his nursery was when Henry was an infant.

She then realises the baby IS Henry. Somehow she got back in time.

After taking care of baby Henry, she goes on research mode, pouring over old grimoires all day.

Around midnight, someone rings at the door.

It's Emma. She looks so young, she's only eighteen after all. She looks harried and can't seem to utter a word. Speech seems to have deserted Regina as well. They look at each other like deers stuck in headlights.

"Emma?"

All the tension seems to leave her at once. "Please tell me that means you remember too."

"You means the futur?"

"yeah."

"Yes I remember. Come on, you look like you could use a drink."

"You have no idea. I woke up this morning in a fricking cell. Good thing it was my last day behind bars and that I had the car. Spent all the money I had in gas."

Regina serves her a drink but Emma just fidgets with the glass.

"You want to see Henry?"

Emma looks terrified but nods anyway.

Regina leads her to the nursery where the baby is sound asleep. Emma is transfixed.

"God he's so small. I missed so much of his life."

Regina knows Emma would like to stay here and live the life she missed, just like Regina would like a do-over and have the chance to correct all her mistakes. But she knows they can't stay here, there could be too many consequences. They need to go back.

Emma stays in the house while they search for a way to undo whatever happened. She stays inside, not wanting to risk changing the past by interacting with the denizens of Storybrook. But staying inside means staying with Henry. Each passing day the thought of leaving the past (and the son she gave up once) is more and more painful.

"How are we even supposed to go back to our time without magic? It's not like we could steal the bottle of love or whatever it is that is inside Maleficent without changing the future."

"You managed to break the curse without magic the first time. We just need to figure out how you did that."

In the end they get nowhere. They resolve to ask for help the last person they want to speak too. After all Rumplestillskin from that time is certainly not the friendliest of man.

"I can't help you to go back to the future. You see, the curse that sent you back in time had a purpose. You need to find what it was to be able to go home."

Emma isn't having any of this crap. "Look Gold. I know you and you're hidden agenda. You're always hiding something. So tell us what it is already."

"Oh you're a feisty one aren't you? Just like your mother. Let me tell you, dearie, magic always comes with a price. What the price would be, I can't decide. Those laws can't be broken, only sometimes bent. I don't make them. You're here to find something and until you do, you're stuck here. If you're not willing to play by the rules, maybe you should make yourself comfortable then."

They go back to the mansion on Milffin feeling dejected. Gold's riddle is not helping. How are you supposed to find something when you don't know what to look for or where to start searching?

Two weeks pass and there's nothing new. Emma has decided she'll enjoy every stollen moment with her son. One afternoon, she's lounging on the sofa, thumbing an old spell book absentmindedly while keeping an eye on Henry squirming on his play mat.

Regina comes home from city hall and goes to pick up the baby for a quick cuddle.

Barely a second later, the ceiling lights come crashing down on the ground where Henry was a moment ago.

Both mothers are in shock and Henry is wailing.

Regina comes to her sense first and starts humming and rocking Henry to calm him down.

Emma is not moving, she's just staring to mother and son and to the shattered lights on the floor.

"I remember that," she says faintly.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember that. When I left Storybrook and you gave me these memories... This, this... I remember that. It was real?"

"Of course it was real. Where do you think those memories came from? It takes a really powerful curse to make up whole backstories. I barely had a minute to give you a past with Henry, so I used my own memories."

"So it was real, all of it?"

"Most of it, yes. I just had to tweak it a little. Your mind adjusted it itself mostly on its own."

Emma cries.

Later that day, they're finishing eating dinner.

"You know, it gives me a different perspective, those memories. I dismissed them back then to the point I've barely been remembering them, but now it's coming back. Parenting, it's hard. I know you probably gave me the good stuff, but the hard times are there too. I think I understand how you two ended up at odds to the point he came looking for me."

"I felt like I was doing everything wrong back then. Well, I did do a lot of things wrong."

"I don't think it was all on you. It was the situation too, you know. The adoption. I remember when I was a kid wondering why I've been abandoned. I remember those not-so-fake memories when Henry had found out I almost gave him up and was mad at me, or when he was asking questions about his dad. You just do your best, but sometimes it's impossible to make things perfect, because that's life and life is not perfect. So yeah, I get it. I get you and Henry."

Regina cries.

Two nights later Emma can't sleep. She tosses and turns but can't find sleep. She gets up and leaves the guestroom to go to the bathroom. She stops short when she hears Regina. She shared a room for enough years to recognise the noises someone makes when they're having a nightmare.

She enters Regina's room, trying to decide if she should try to calm her or wake her up instead. The choice is taken from her when Regina jerks awake, panting and crying.

"Hey, it's Emma. It's okay. You're safe. You're in your room."

She keeps reassuring her and reminding her where she is until Regina's breathing has returned to a normal rhythm.

She asks what she needs, if she wants to go back to sleep of if she wants hot chocolate.

That's how they end up in the couch at three am with steaming mugs of hot chocolate warming their hands.

Regina opens to her that night. It's unexpected for both of them but it feels right somehow.

Regina tells of her childhood, growing under the care of a loving father that was still too weak to protect her from an abusive heartless mother that she still couldn't help but love anyway. She tells of her first love, of the grief of losing him in such a terrible way, how she still see the life leaving his face every time she closes her eyes. She tells of being trapped in a loveless marriage with an indifferent man so old he could have been her father, of the horror of her wedding night with a spouse that believed a wife should submit to her husband in the marital bed. She tells of a girl that felt trapped in a never-ending nightmare, that didn't find another coping mechanism other than making other as miserable as she was feeling. She tells about a strange little man whose offer to help was too good to be true and sincere. She tells of how destruction felt like salvation for a girl that had never known anything but the cold pain of abuse and manipulation.

And Emma is listening. And she understands. She always had an intuition of what Regina's life must have been like, but hearing it is different. This is the cold reality, and Emma knows she was right when she decided to give Regina a second chance all those years ago, when she fought for her happiness because this woman deserves to experience it at least once in her life. She's also proud of Regina for everything she accomplished since they both met.

Emma tells her all of this.

They wake up on the couch the next morning with crooked neck and stiff limbs.

Emma goes to make coffee while Regina checks on Henry. When she's back with the baby, they starts preparing breakfast, they move around the kitchen with enough ease until they both reach for the fridge at the same time. They're so close, faces almost touching. They can't help but stare at the other while a strange electric feeling passes between them.

Then Henry gurgles and the moment is broken. They are awkward around each other now. They eat in silence barely broken by everyday talks, requests of syrup or jam, asks about which one should wash the dish while the other dry them.

Then Regina has to leave for work and Emma is left alone with Henry and her own toughts.

She's feeling bereft.

What happened earlier means something, she's sure of it. She tries to be honnest with herself, to admit what she might have known for a while but ignored. What she feels for Regina is not strictly platonic. The last few weeks spent living with her in the same house, taking care of baby Henry, only confirms that. She dreads going back to the future not only because of loosing this chance to experience Henry's early childhood, but also because she'll miss this domesticity with Regina. They won't keep playing house in the future, they'll go back to their own separate life. Well, not that separate, they'll still be friend, they'll still orbit around each other, but since Henry is grown up, they have less reasons to see each other.

So Emma will go back to a cold appartement, alone since the break up with Killian. She will mourn the loss of what she thought was her happy ending. She doubts those actually exist. Magic, dragons, fairytale characters, sure, it's normal for her now. But happily ever afters? They're myths, hopeful nonsense.

Unless...

Unless she goes for it. Unless she risks everything and confesses her feelings to Regina. Before this trip through time she wouldn't have thought for a second these feelings might be reciprocated, but after these last few weeks? After whatever it was in the kitchen earlier? Maybe there is hope here.

Emma devises a plan then.

Regina comes home earlier than Emma has planned. The mayor seems eager to be back home. Emma hopes it's a good sign for them, but Regina might have just missed Henry. Baby cuddles are addictive after all, and they both knows the are on borrowed time and soon they'll be back to their time.

"What are you up to?" Regina asked curiously.

Emma has been in the middle of her preparations. She has pushed the coffee table away and spread a thick blanket on the floor with a assortment of throw pillows over it.

She has been in the process of arranging decorations on the coffee table that serves as a sort of buffet table. The plates, glasses, silverware and foods were still waiting in the kitchen.

"Hum, we're having an indoor picnic?"

The surprised smile that graces Regina's face tells Emma that the idea was a good one after all. She was starting to feel anxious about it.

"What have you prepared?"

"Tacos. And there's apple cheesecake from your favorite bakery. Also sparkling wine."

Regina looks at her strangely for a moment. Finally she thanks her, her voice suspiciously hoarse. "Thank you, that seems wondeful."

Regina dismisses Emma's complaints that she is the one making this for her so that the mayor shouldn't helping with the preparations. A few minutes later they are lounging on the blanket, sipping the wine while Henry is napping in his basket a few paces away.

They are mostly silent, both of them sensing the charged atmosphere between them.

Finally, Emma breaks the silence. "Am I imagining things? About you? About us?"

"You mean..."

"Yeah."

Regina sighs. "I thought I had no chance in that department. So I kept it to myself."

"How long? How long have you known?"

"For sure? When you became the dark one. But before that... Before Robin."

Emma gapes. So long? There could have been something between them for this long? Her head spins.

There has been Killian though. Emma feels stupid going for him while Regina was right there all this time.

"Do you, do you want... This?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"God, yes."

Tentatively Emma reaches for Regina, caresses her cheek with a gentle hand. Regina closes her eyes, overcome with anticipation. And finally, finally, their lips meet.

Regina opens her eyes.

She's in her bed. Her lips are tingling.

Was it all a dream?

No, it can't be. It was all too real.

In a frenzy, she gets dressed and in minutes she's driving through town. Halfway through the drive to Emma's place she spots the yellow bug.

Both of them stop in the middle of the lane, get out of the cars and rush toward each other.

When they meet, they are breathless.

"You remember?" they both say at the same time.

"Yes, yes, I remember."

They are laughing with relief now, uncaring of the curious looks of passing people.

Wiping tears, Regina is the one offering they go back to the mansion.

They push the coffee table away, throw an afghan on the floor with a few pillows and resume what has been their first date, even if it's now seven am.

"I miss Henry already," admits Emma.

"I miss him too. Both as a baby and as a grown-up."

"I'm glad I had those few weeks. Even if there's nothing left of it."

"Not quite." Emma looks at her, confused. "Let me show you."

Regina opens the ventilation grating in the corner of the room. She plunges her arm deep, looking for something. She takes out an envelope from the opening and offers it to Emma.

Emma takes it with trembling hands.

Inside are a dozen Polaroids. Pictures of her with baby Henry, taken apparently without her noticing.

Emma can't help the tears falling as she looks at each picture with delight.

"Thank you. Thank you."

Emma surges forwards and kisses Regina as if it was the last thing she would do.

"I can't wait for Henry to visit. He needs to see these pictures."

"He always cringes when he sees himself as a baby," Regina laughs. "He started saying he's like fine wine, getting better with time, when he was only six. I don't think he knew what that means then."

"I remember that too," Emma realises. "It's strange, I had almost forgot all of these memories and now they're back in full details. As if experiencing some of them myself made them real and tangible."

She sniffs and shakes her head.

"Maybe that's what I need to find in the past."

"Or maybe it was the magic of the kiss."

"Maybe it was all of it. Everything that happened back then."

"Maybe. Where do we go from here?"

"Forwards?"

"Forwards sounds good."

And they lived happily ever afters.

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allthecanadianpolitics · 1 year

Text

A Saskatchewan minister nominated a man for a public service medal after that man had been charged with assaulting his wife and for possessing a firearm without a licence. Jim Wickett, treasurer and secretary and former chairman of the Western Canadian Wheat Growers Association, a farm advocacy organization, later pleaded guilty to assault. Internal government emails, which Global News obtained using a freedom of information request, show agriculture minister David Marit nominated Wickett.

Full article

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

#cdnpoli #canadian politics #canadian news #canada #canadian #domestic violence #assault #abuse #domestic violence tw #assault tw #abuse tw #saskatchewan #jim wickett #david marit

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msfbgraves · 1 month

Note

Speaking of which, Since the puppies eventually learn how their parents really met and how Mama was forced to marry Daddy (and also Daddy’s…major fuckups in said marriage), do they think their parents don’t love each other? That they’re only together because of them? Do they ever doubt Daniel and Terry actually being in love with each other? Or perhaps, think that their parents will divorce or something. I dunno, I kinda imagine Daniel and Terry as being openly affectionate with each other, but maybe it’s not enough to convince the pups, especially as they get older.

The pups, luckily, don't know how it feels when your parents don't love each other. If their parents didn't, they would know. But yes, as teenagers, it does confuse them, because talk about mixed signals! There's also this silence around the topic, and if you dare mention "that night", suddenly you're dealing with a Mob boss and not a Daddy.

I haven't written about it much yet because I don't know where I stand on the topic. Do you have a right to know everything about your parents' love life? Terry certainly wouldn't think so, but of course it is going to affect the pups, too. Still, Daniel wouldn't want his pups to think badly about their Daddy! And he has this tendency in canon too to not share stories that hurt too much. I could see both Samantha and Anthony in Cobra Kai want more information about their grandfather, but Daniel cannot talk about him. So I feel he'd go mum here a lot too. So the pups are going to run into a wall with their parents - it does come up when they're older, simply never for very long. Listen to their extended family, though - Nonna, auntie Lisa, uncle Vinny, even Apollonia may have Something to Say about Terry if they get drunk enough. (Uncle Michael shares Nonno's sense of discretion even then). Still, Daniel would shut that down immediately. He couldn't shut down Amanda, though, and with how adamant she is about omega rights and welfare, they might be able to get a clearer picture of their parents' marriage. I could also see them blowing up at Terry if the man weren't so dangerous but he is.

So here, again, we have "that night" and its long shadow, plus of course why the marriage was arranged and I haven't really thought through how that works out later! It's a great question. We shouldn't forget, though, that stories may need conflict, but both Terry and Daniel try hard to give their puppies a happy home. It's merely the contrast between that happy home and the shadows of the past that confuses the pups at times.

#silverusso #knights and pawns #omegaverse #mob au #tw marital abuse #marital problems #tw arranged marriage

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thatgayunoriginalbastard · 7 months

Text

Whumptober 2023 Day 10- "Can't you see that you're lost without me?"

Harsh Truth, Cold Love

AO3 Link

Word count: 2667

Summary: Alador could never get away from her. He could never really escape her. No matter what he did or how hard he tried. He would always be trapped with her. And she would always teach him just how bad of an idea it was to try and leave.

“Look who’s back, just as I said you’d be.”

Alador just stood by the front door, holes in his coat from the boiling rain. His face was streaked with tears, eyes red and dark as bags hung under them. In one arm he held Amity, so small and young, completely asleep. His other hand was being held tightly by Emira who was also holding onto Edric’s hand.

“Now why don't you come over here, my love?”

Silently, Alador handed Amity to Emira. Emira held her baby sister securely and nodded, going upstairs with her two siblings, leaving her parents in the entryway. When the kids were gone, Alador slowly walked towards his wife, embarrassed. He didn’t dare look Odalia in the eyes, even when he was close enough that she was able to reach out and cup his cheek in her hand. She scowled for a few moments when he flinched away from her touch, but went back to a calm expression quickly when she saw that he wasn’t resisting anything.

“That certainly was quite the show. The kids are unharmed, correct?”

Alador just nodded.

“Use your words, darling.” Odalia said, venom and masked impatience in her voice, “Our children are the future of the company. And it would be such a bad look on our parts if they got hurt. Especially if the reason they possibly got hurt slipped. Now, are they unharmed?”

“Yes. They aren’t hurt. Some damage to the clothing, but no burns.” Alador said, voice strained and raspy.

“There you go. Now was that so hard?” Odalia said, wrapping her arms around Alador’s neck, acting as if they were a perfectly normal couple.

“No. It wasn’t.”

“Now, it’s quite late, isn’t it? Let’s go to bed and we can talk about this little stunt in the morning.”

Odalia took Alador by the hand, her vice grip preventing him from trying to pull away, and led him over to the stairs. He trailed behind as much as he could, but she didn’t mind so long as he did as he was told. His enthusiasm was unimportant, so long as he was obedient it was enough.

“Now you can only believe my shock and horror at waking up to see not only you were gone, but the kids were gone too. And you all had even taken some of your things? Why I was worried you four had been kidnapped by some thieves who also robbed us and I would be getting a call asking for ransom. But no, just one of my friends telling me they saw you and the kids with suitcases going towards the vacation home of Head Witch Darius. Did he even know you were going to show up?”

“No. He didn’t.”

“And do you really think after what happened between the two of you back at Hexside he would help you?”

“No. He wouldn’t.”

“Well then why was his house the first place you thought of? Not your parents? Or any friends?”

“I don’t have any friends and my parents would just call you. His place felt like the safest option.”

“Ah yes, going to a coven head with stolen money and kidnapped children.”

“It’s both of our money and they’re both of our kids.” Alador said, with only the slightest sense of harshness in his voice so he could stay safe while also getting his feelings across.

“Oh honey, I think you’ve inhaled so many abomination fumes you’ve forgotten our contracts. We may share the company, but I own all the stock. As for the children, well, they are both of ours like you said. So wouldn’t you removing them from me without my consent be kidnapping?”

“They’re not the children, they’re our children.” Alador said, avoiding the question he couldn’t really answer.

“Oh please, you can’t be like that. You never even wanted children. I had to do most of the work. So don’t act like I’m the bad guy here when…what was it you said again? When I told you on our wedding night that I wanted kids?”

“That…that I thought the two of us should come first. And that having children right away could be bad for the business.” Alador sighed, the words having been ingrained in his head as he had relived that night so often.

“And what else?”

“That I would agree to have children so long as I wasn’t obligated to do anything more than expected.”

“And look at you now! Running off in the dead of night during a storm with them to your ex after what I can only imagine being some nonsense revelation or perceived slight. Ha! How times do change.”

The two of them reached the master bedroom door. Odalia opened the door and walked inside, but when Alador reached the doorframe, he froze. Odalia looked back at him, angry and confused, pulling on his arm to get him to come inside. But he couldn’t move.

“Alador? Come inside, darling.”

“N-no. I don’t think I will.” Alador said semi-nervously, finally looking his wife in the eyes.

“Honey, get in here now. Let’s go to bed.” Odalia said, teeth gritting together as she wore a forced smile.

“I think we should sleep in separate rooms. Things aren’t going well between us and it would be for the best of both of us if we had our own spaces to sleep.”

Odalia let go of his hand. She took a few steps towards him. He could see her adjusting her wedding ring. He took a few deep breaths and braced for the inevitable. He could stand his ground, just for the night, and deal with whatever consequences came from that.

“I will give you one more chance, Alador. Come. To. Bed.”

“No. I will sleep in one of the guest bedrooms tonight. Or on one of the couches. Or even in my workshop in the basement. Whatever you so choose, just not here.”

Alador took a deep breath in and closed his eyes, trying to not tense up. And when he exhaled, it was over. He opened his eyes and saw the fury in Odalia’s eyes. With a huff, she turned her wedding ring back so that the sharp metal and gemstone were at the top rather than down by her palm as it had been, turned upside down so that a slap wouldn’t carry a sting, but a slice. Alador didn’t even reach up to his cheek to try and wipe away the blood. He just wore a neutral expression and maintained eye contact as Odalia wiped off the metal and stone with her sleeve before dawning a much more sorry and sympathetic expression. She wrapped her arms around him again, pouting as she looked at him.

“Oh I’m so sorry, my love. You know I love you so much. And I don’t want to hurt you. You know that, right?”

“Of course.” Alador sighed with a neutral tone that had a hint of sadness.

He knew what she was doing to him. He knew that she always did that. He knew that none of it was real, that she didn’t love him or their kids. That all of it was just business and that his feelings would never be reciprocated.

And yet…he could never stand that look in her eyes. He always crumbled at that voice, that face, those words. He was lost without her, he could never leave her. No matter what.

Odalia pulled Alador’s head down and she kissed him. And he kissed back. She was full of passion and ambition and drive…but not love. But he didn’t sign up for love when he married her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It was just a business arrangement, and nothing more. And he had to accept it.

So he did.

He didn’t put up a fight when she pulled him into their bedroom, only reaching back to close the door behind them. He didn’t say anything as she kissed his neck and unbuttoned his ruined coat. He did what she told him to do and never said a word. He let her do all the work and just laid there, doing everything he could to not cry. And when she was done and had cleaned up, he held her close, wrapping his arms around her and tucking his chin in the crook of her neck as they lay in bed and went to sleep.

The next morning when Alador woke up, Odalia was already awake and ready for the day. She noticed him sitting up in bed as she was just about to open the door.

“I’ve thought about what you said last night. And I suppose you have a bit of a point. I’ll have the abomination servants move your things to the spare room on the other side of the staircase today. You’ll have plenty of distance from me. I know the room isn’t big, but it’s what you deserve and you don’t have that many belongings anyways. I will require you some nights, but for the most part I will allow you to sleep in your own room.”

Alador was shocked, but mostly just filled with joy and gratitude that she actually listened to him and was going to give him that.

“As for the children, I have already spoken with the head of our legal team. I know you ran off because of that little suggestion about the kids being more involved in the company. I’ll have a contract drafted up and we can come to some sort of arrangement.”

Alador actually smiled at that. He got up from the bed and went over to her to thank her, but before he could even lean in to give her a kiss or reach out to hold her, she held up a hand and he stopped.

“I already have my makeup on and it took me ages. You aren’t messing it up. Thank you for the sentiment though, I’m glad you’re so thankful for my generosity.”

Odalia opened the door to leave, but paused as she looked him up and down.

“Now please get dressed. You already traumatized the kids enough last night. Oh, and use some healing patches for that cut on your face. We wouldn’t want there to be a scar, now would we?”

Odalia didn’t wait for a reply, because she already knew what it would be. She just smiled, blew him a kiss, and left to get some food and go to work. Alador just sighed and went to the closet. Sifting through all of Odalia’s things before spotting his own small stacks of clean clothes. As he got dressed, he noticed the small suitcase from last night, the expensive leather ruined from the boiling rain just as his coat was. One of the abomination servants had taken them when they returned, after all, so it made sense that it would have put his back where it belonged.

Moving almost robotically, Alador grabbed the suitcase, dumped out all the stuff inside, mostly just clothes and a few wads of money. He then grabbed his coat from the night before off the floor and put it inside. Then he grabbed the rest of his clothes from the floor and put them inside as well. He finished getting dressed then took the suitcase and left the room. He went to the Edric and Emira’s then Amity’s room, knocking on the door both times to see if they were inside and finding they weren’t, and took their suitcases and clothes from last night, emptied the stuff that they had packed, and put their clothes from last night inside.

All the suitcases in his arms, each made of very expensive material and now holding equally expensive outfits, Alador went downstairs. He heard the door slam from Odalia leaving and saw Amity, Edric, and Emira all in the dining room with their breakfasts. Edric and Emira were sitting in their booster seats and teasing each other as they ate and Amity sat in her high chair as one of the abomination servants fed her. As he walked past the dining room, trying to not pay attention to the kids, he could feel the twin’s eyes laser focused on him as he carried their suitcases away. He could hear the scrape of chairs as the two of them followed him as he went into the parlor. He set the suitcases onto the ground as he knelt to ignite the fireplace.

“Dada, why are you turning on the fire?” Edric asked innocently.

“And why do you have our bags?” Emira demanded, “Wait…are you destroying our stuff!”

“I have one of my favorite stuffies in there!”

“Ed, Em, don’t worry.” Alador sighed, “I unpacked for you. Well, I dumped out what you put in these. For yourself and your sister.”

“Then what’re you doing?” Edric asked.

“Last night was a bad night, okay? And we’re just going to say it didn’t happen.” Alador said, staring at the fireplace, “So we’re getting rid of any proof that it did. All that's in these suitcases are your clothes from last night, nothing more. I don’t want to…I don’t want you to be reminded of what happened ever again.”

The fire ignited and Alador threw his suitcase atop the flames first, watching as the magical, purple fire consumed the wood and leather, easily eating through all the material. Then, he threw in the twin’s suitcases, and the exact same happened with theirs. As he held Amity’s little bag, he looked at the little paint handprints on the bag.

What felt like such a long time ago, Amity had been getting her room painted because Odalia decided the color wasn’t smart enough. Amity managed to get her hands covered in paint, which of course led to her getting paint everywhere, including on her expensive, silk bag. Alador managed to convince Odalia to not throw the bag away and it quickly became Amity’s favorite bag. It’s why when Emira was grabbing stuff for Amity while Alador and Edric finished packing their things the night before, she picked that bag to put all of Amity’s stuff in.

And now the bag was not only stained with paint and sentiment, but awful, awful memories.

Alador threw the bag in the fire and just watched as it burned. All the memories, the good and the bad, burning away with it.

There would be no sign of what happened, no sign at all. He could only hope that Amity was young enough that her developing brain wouldn’t remember it and that the twins would repress it as they grew up. And that he could somehow repress it too.

“Dada, why didn’t we stay with Dari?” Emira asked, hugging Alador’s arm, “We were so close.”

“Well I noticed that one of mommy’s friends saw us and that made me remember that Darius was really busy. He’s a coven head after all. Wouldn’t want to disturb him. Your dad had time to think and realized how silly he was being.”

“What happened to your face?” Edric asked, hugging Alador’s other arm.

“Oh, your dad just fell out of the bed last night. Got a really big scrape.” Alador said with a soft smile, “I’ll be fine, no need to worry. Now, you two go finish your breakfast. It’s a school day.”

“Okay!” The twins said chipperly, rushing back to the dining room, already joking with each other like they had been before as if nothing had happened.

Alador looked back at the fire and extinguished it. He then sighed, got up, and headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat before he went to his workshop.

He could keep up the act. He could pretend everything was fine. What other choice did he have? He had to protect the kids. He had to protect their kids.

He had to protect his kids.

And he could only do that if he stayed exactly where he was.

#whumptober2023 #no.10 #“can't you see that you're lost without me?”#the owl house #fic #domestic abuse tw #dubious consent tw #marital rape tw #alador blight #odalia blight #fuck odalia #pre canon #manipulation #dead dove do not eat

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