Imagine youre Tubbo you've been busting your ass stressing out in Purgatory daily for 2 weeks you stayed up late last night strategizing trying to convince others about your theory on cursed teams and you wake up ready for another day fighting for your life in hell and the first thing on your timeline is Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle by SadTommyInnit on Wattpad

The Dynamic of Cellbit and the Fed Workers and Fed Workers hiding themselves, a ramble

This is the first time I'm trying something like this, but I feel as though I'm one of the only ones who has connected these dots and seen the parallels that I'm going to talk about in this post and I feel as though I need to explore my thoughts and type them out for other people to see, think about and comment on

This contains mainly snippets of Cellbit and Bad's lore, including them during the hunger games wars, and lore from the past few days, including Quackity's stream on the 16th (lore from October 15th and 16th)

Saying this, it will contain spoilers so please be aware

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the 15th we learn about the A0 event that will be happening, Cellbit calls BBH to his castle where they talk about Ron and his kidnaping, and taking down the federation. Cellbit talks about how good it felt to kill a worker even if it was by accident and if Ron outwore his usefulness that Cellbit wished to kill him himself. BBH knows what Cellbit has gone through because they both went through it together. He is aware of the trauma that Cellbit endured and why he feels the way he does. Cellbit having to kill people to survive and do horrible acts (c*nnibalism, etc) in order to simply live. Cellbit was tortured by the Federation and wishes for it to burn to the ground and is happy to kill anyone (Fed workers mainly) who get in the way of it. He and BBH are happy to spare any workers who side with them, but Cellbit is very bloodthirsty

On the 16th, on Quackity's stream he disguises himself as Fred and infiltrates the Fed office and attends the meeting Fred is supposed to be at. There he seems the workers partying and having fun and checking in on each other, sharing information and drama and gossip.

And just being normal people, trying their best to live their lives, before having to go back to being a conformed mass, unable to show their personalities and unique traits except in small moments where they don't have to shove it all down and away in fear of being punished and possibly killed.

We learn from multiple POVs that the workers have had their memories messed with, some practically erased and have been forced from their original lives to work for the Federation, having to commit horrible acts against their will in order to survive. We see how cared for and loved Fred is to the workers during this time, all of them checking in, offering support and hugs, even accepting if he has romantic feelings for Tubbo and that they will be happy for him if he decides to pursue a relationship. One guard even states feeling grief and sadness over the loss of the eggs who have passed away, commenting on a photo of Quackity and Tilin stating he "hopes they [Tilin] are resting peacefully, and that he had high hopes for them". Quackity doesn't know how to process all of this due to his perception of the federation due to his treatment under them and sees them all as evil.

The parallels between Cellbit and the Federation workers is heartbreaking, both parties being forced to do terrible things in order to be safe another day and being traumatized by it; but unable to do much to escape what is happening unless they are finally given an out. So far it feels as though Cellbit and the other residents will be the out for the Federation workers, those that truly do not wish to be there and want to be able to live their lives freely without a looming threat that any outward traits that do not fit in a box carved for them will result in something terrible happening to them.

I hope that this can happen and that most of the workers will have a happy ending, because they seem to be just innocent people who have been put in a very terrible situation against their will.

Just a lot of thoughts that I need to get out of my head and my god does my heart hurt seeing so many similarities but Cellbit being too blinded by trauma to see that the workers are suffering just like he did.

Okay so I just got to Clingy Duo's big argument before Tommy is exiled and I gotta say, c!Tommy is pissing me off so much.... It's great, I love it

So, even though it's been way too long since this arc happened and I am merely throwing words at a wall, I need to write down my personal opinion on this whole mess

So uh, on the affirmations that Tommy was 1) not acting selfishly, and 2) the only one to have compromised something for L'Manburg up until now, and the affirmation that Tubbo is getting closer to becoming the tyrant Schlatt was... (i read so many comments on the videos i watched about their argument claiming this):

(just warning that bellow are my unfiltered, biased opinions on this whole thing, so if you're very fond of Tommy, you might not agree very much with what i wrote)

((also, no, I don't hate Tommy, he just really annoyed me during his fight with Tubbo))

(((also also, don't take this too seriously, I literally just needed to write these thoughts down somewhere)))

-> Tommy is being super freaking selfish and Tubbo is definitely in the right here

Everyone has sacrificed things for L'Manburg already. It's like viewers are so fixated on the idea that Tommy is "the hero", that he's Theseus like Techno predicted, they forget everyone else has been fighting this whole time too.

Just during Schlatt's reign:

-Fundy sacrificed his relationship with his father and friends to become a spy

-Quackity sacrificed his power as vice-president (and if we go back to those days, Quackity did appreciate his position a lot, he used to be pretty power hungry too)

-Willbur sacrificed his goddamn sanity and consequently, his life

-Tubbo sacrificed months of himself as a person, working as a double spy for Pogtopia, putting his safety on the line /every single day/ just so he could give Willbur and Tommy the aid and info they wanted

-Literally every single other L'Manburg citizen? Who fought in the wars, laying down their lives for the country

If sacrificing something for the greater good is what makes someone a hero, then every single one of these people are heroes. Tommy is just one of many

The only things that separate Tommy from the others is Dream's ridiculous obssession with him and Tommy's own childish, reckless, irresponsible attitude

Everyone else is still doing their best rebuilding L'Manburg and trying to protect it, continuing on devoting themselves to the land they've fought so hard to keep. But Tommy has completely shed his "hero" skin already, and is back to being a reckless kid who doesn't think before acting and is ready to throw himself into a fire, causing trouble for petty reasons and playing with forces that are far beyond his reach, uncaring if that means he'll drag his friends down with him too.

Everyone is compromising. Everyone is giving up personal things for the greater good of the country. Even Dream is, to some extent. But Tommy is arguing - claiming he deserves a chance to "put himself first for a change" - as if he were the one single hero, the only one who's had to put aside personal things.

So yeah I'm sorry but no, Tubbo is not becoming corrupted - he is maturing, and growing into the best leader we have seen on this server yet, someone who cares about his people and is able to be level headed when problems arise. And he's still as loyal as ever too! It would be much safer for L'Manburg to exile Tommy from the start. But he still fought for Tommy's freedom. Only when it became the only viable option, did Tubbo truly consider the exile option.

Meanwhile, Tommy is indeed acting selfish. He is only thinking of his own self-interest, ignoring everyone else's needs (heck, ignoring their lives, who are at stake because of him!), disrespecting Tubbo not only as a superior but as a friend and a fellow comrade in battle, acting as if he were the only one who had to give something up, who had to endure things he didn't want to, as if he fought all those goddamn battles alone!

Tommy handing Dream the disks in favor of L'Manburg's independence all those months ago was supposed to be the turning point for him, where Tommy realised that no ammount of material objects, as emotionally attached to them as one could be, could ever compare to a human life (and loved lives at that).

But apparently he hasn't learnt that lesson yet.

And let's be honest, how many times has Tommy even listened to those discs anyway?? They are nothing but pieces of plastic, easily replaceable by others exactly the same, that, ever since Tommy has gotten them, have been collecting dust in someone else's Ender Chest. Tommy has no freaking use for those things, as sentimental items as they might be. They are useless and yet have been the cause of dozens of deaths and are the root of Dream's power over Tommy.

Can Tommy sacrificing his comrades, his whole country, for a couple of dusty discs that he doesn't use really be called anything but pure, petty selfishness? Sorry, but for me the answer is an easy no.

On another, less mad, note, daaaaamn everyone's acting was so good! Dream played off his part as the Big Bad Villain so goddamn well, I am amazed

And Tubbo too, his acting was phenomenal the whole stream! You could feel the hurt in his voice, the barely concealed anxiety over all that's happening, his anger at Tommy mixed with tons of worry for him, his fear of Dream, fear for L'Manburg, Tubbo forcing himself to stay strong and unbiased - like, jesus christ, it's so obvious this is the last thing he wants

Tommy was also great as usual but that I'm already used to - his face is really expressive too, it just adds even more emotion to each scene. He just knows how to entertain his audience

Anywayyy

In conclusion: this season has been super interesting so far and I can't wait to see how Timmy's exile will go, it will probably be chaotic as heck

Minecraft Academy

#MinecraftAcademyAU

Tommy flinches as his parents dont stop fighting. He hasn't bothered to tell them about the acceptance letter.

He has no idea how to explain joining the school without parental permission or knowledge. But he still has his bag ready. In two days he can begin to make his parents truly proud. He just has to endure.

Two days pass and he arrives at school with black eye. He loves his parents, he really does, but he knows they hate him, that's exactly what they said to him yesterday. He gets through the portal and looks in amazement at the buildings surrounding the portal hub.

"Kid, do you have an invite?" A nearby guard asks him.

He jumps but turns to speak to said guard "Ah! Uhh yeah! Here let me find it. Just a second." he rummages through his bag and pulls out a slightly crumpled invite document.

The guard checks it and signs it so Tommy can prove that it has been seen at the enterance "Where are your parents?"

"Erm... they couldn't come. Can you tell me where the registry office is?"

The guard points at a simple brick building "Over there, second floor, room 5, ask the secretary that you're meeting with the Watsons. One of them will see to you soon after."

"Alright thanks!" he skips to said building.

He knocks on the door of room 5.

"Come on in!" a sweet female voice answers from within.

He goes in "Hi, I'm new, emm the guard told me to ask for the Watsons. I'm Tommy by the way!"

"Hello Tommy, I'm Nikita. I'll go tell them you've arrived." The woman stands and goes to a adjacent room.

A couple of seconds later she comes out "You can go in, Mr. Watson will be seeing you today."

He nods quickly and goes through the door, meeting face to face with a man who looks so much more like him than his real father back home ever did.

"Hello Thomas Innit, I am Phillip Blackfeather Craft. You can call my Phil or Philza. Come sit down so we can talk." The man says warmly.

The older never asks about the childs parents, having dealt with students of all kinds and knowing that the school operates with majority of parents never knowing that their children are attending it, and also serves as a orphanage.

Tommy for the first time in his life is allowed to sign his own documents and even write about himself.

Phil directs him back to the secretary who is supposed to make his ID badge.

He stares at the badge after a short photoshoot, these people don't know him at all so he feels so much safer showing his hybrid features. Turning the badge one way shows a profile image of his human for, and turning it the other way shows his hidden features.

The magic signature spot stays empty for now since he is yet to go through the magic evaluation process.

He leaves to the stock room first because of disliking doctors and being afraid of the shrinks. He grabs the list and checks the things he doesn't have, which is pretty much almost everything on the list.

After the stock room guard grabs his list another boy of his age walks in "Hi! I'm Toby! I just joined!"

"Hi, I'm Tommy, nice to meet you." He grins friendly.

The two chat and small talk while Toby, or Tubbo as Tommy has quickly nicknamed him checkmarks the list and Tommy waits for his things to be collected.

The guard comes over and gives Tommy a card that he has to sign so he can prove his temporary ownership over the school provided items. After that is done he is given a proper leather backpack which is brand new.

Next he goes back to the secretary, trying to avoid visiting the doctors and the shrink. Quickly he is given a small piece of plot in the tent grounds of the school.

He can't avoid them any more, going to the doctors first to get it over with. But the evaluation passes by relatively quick. Just going through a regular full body checkup and getting treatment for his eye. Noone ever asks him why he has a black eye. He appreciates it, but deep down knows that they should ask.

Visiting the psychologist is gruelling an mentally taxing. He feels more invaded in her office than at the doctors office. But also guilty for showing so much dislike towards the lady when she was just being nice and understanding. He learns that her name is Caroline Puffy and that she is engaged to the sweet secretary upstairs. He calls her a d word not really knowing that it's rude to do so, it only comes up because of his father back home using that type of language. After a quick explanation from the lady and some apologies he can finally go to his plot and build his tent.

He gets surprised when Tubbo settles in a plot besides his "Hey Tubbo!"

The other teen smiles at him and they help each other with their tents.

His stomach grumbles and he takes out the school provided intercom, attaching it to behind his ear. Quickly registering himself in the public chat.

Tommyinnit: Hi, U21804 here, how or where do I get food if I'm new?

WilburSoot: hello, if you have money there's good food at the marketplace back in the main hub. If you don't have any yet you can go to the staff chat and request them to send you some, make sure to give them information about your diet and allergies though, and also you can't order food during school hours. Alternatively you can always go out and hunt or grow your own food on any free land of your plot, just leave your plot barren when you finish the school year.

Tommyinnit: Thanks Wilbur! see you around I guess.

He unfortunately has to go to the staff chat and request them to send some food.

Tommyinnit: hello, can someone send me some breakfast please? Plot U21804. I am vegan, as in physically can't digest animal products.

Staff_bot: A guard or a older student will be dispatched to U21804 with vegan breakfast package shortly, confirmation code T291 This message is visible only to the plot owner, please do not leave your plot while package is on the way, do not share the confirmation code.

He nods and continues getting his tent ready. meeting some neighbors from nearby tent.

A tap on his shoulder startles him momentarily so he turns seeing a humanoid totem of undying looking at him, finding the shark features weird, but cool. And he can admit that the older is handsome, with the chiseled jawline, muscles and beachboy hair, there's no doubt about it.

"Here's your food and receipt, write the confirmation code here."

He quickly writes in the code "Are you a student?"

"Yep, I'm Foolish Puffy, before you ask, I'm adopted. I'm 17." the older answers with a shark toothed grin.

Tommy smiles back "I'm Tommy, just registered. Haven't been to magic evaluation yet. By the way when do classes start? And when do I get my schedule?"

"Newbies are given exactly seven days to settle in starting with the morning after registration. You will be informed tomorrow where and when your magic evaluation will be held, but just so you know this evaluation happens during the settling time. Also I strongly suggest walking around during these seven days just so you don't get lost on the way to your classes, indoor classes happen back at the hub and outdoor ones in fields found all over inside that forest there. You can always request a guide tour if you need one." the older explains as thoroughly as possible.

After Foolish leaves he opens his breakfast, which thankfully are some good looking pancakes with jam and some tea.

He looks over at his new friend while eating. Chatting with the shorter teen about various things.

This is going to be his life until winter break.

=====

This is my first ever mcyt based au - the most prestigious academy server in Minecraft universe, known for free mainly-outdoor education without judgement, best care system for students and doubling as an orphanage.

It currently offers training for MCC, Albeit training covers only basics necessary to join MCC; tutoring for older students that later will help with building a career; and nursery/kindergarten education.

• Extra info:

Everything is evaluated during registration and during the first week of entering the server - education level, magic signature, physical and mental health. The following education process during the year is based on this evaluation, making the students experience at the school very individualistic.

The school has been around for ages, in this universe Sun Tzu was actually one of it's students. The original of his book is still found in the schools library.

Student ages can vary anywhere from 0-20, starting elementary education with the age of 6 (more info below in "Ages" section).

The marketplace is run by staff, but older students can find part time jobs there or sell their own goods and services (repairwork, shoe cleaning, all kinds of divination or prediction services, etc.)

The economy is coin based, with bronze being useful only between students, gold being useful for general goods and food, and silver being useful for expensive and hard to get items. Theres also good behavior vouchers that are used in replacement for silver coins, but they become useless once the student starts to earn said coins reliably. Also item and food trade is also possible.

Gangs exist, some are violent, some not violent, no matter how much the students hide these gangs, all of them and their locations are known by invis staff. Some of the oldest are Blood God cult and Wither cult. Both are violent and at war with eachother. Technoblade has recently joined the Blood God gang, and Foolish and Eret are members of the Wither gang.

• Ages (starting with 6; this information is just a template since evaluations can change alot):

6-8; 7-9; 8-10 - Elementary grades 1; 2; 3

9-11; 10-12; 11-13 - Middle sch. grades 4; 5; 6

12-14; 13-15; 14-16 - Highschool grades 7; 8; 9

15-17; 16-18; 17-19 - College grades 10; 11; 12

18-20 - Optional additional education online

• PS.: I'm sorry if Tommy seems ooc here, at this moment in time he is supposed to still act the way he was conditioned at home. Once he opens up and loosens his walls all hell will break out.

I'm ready to answer any questions. And will appreciate fanwork of this AU. You are allowed to interpret this AU however you like as well, as long as you don't change the premise of it.

Suggestions for unique name for the school will be appreciated (so that a hashtag just for this AU can be created).

Analysis on C! Tubbo's Emotional State

Disclaimer: I am in no means a professional and I am heavily basing this off of my own experiences and general observations. (Please let me know if my wording is bad)

This is all about the roleplay characters if it wasn't clear

Warning: self harm, self sacrifice, self destructive behavior and talk of mental health and canon typical violence

Tubbo has always been a self sacrificial character. He always helps his friends at the expense of his own safety (ie disc war and L'manburg). He is a bit of an overachiever and that has gotten worse when combined with tendencies of paranoia. (all og members of L'manburg have paranoia issues, stemming from the final control room)

After the Independance War, Tubbo was involved with the elections. He made a secret bunker, saying "hope for the best plan for the worse" in case the electrons went wrong. He was proven right and then had to endure a harsh dictatorship.

Spy Tubbo was constantly under stress. He not only was secretly slipping information to Pogtopia but had his role of Security of State as well. At the Elections, Schlatt verbally abused Tubbo and scared him into following his orders. Most of the things Schlatt had told Tubbo to have shaped him into the Tubbo that internalizes and represses all his emotions. (ie don't complain, don't cry, don't talk back, agree with everything I say). Tubbo, who already naturally liked to help his friends, was forced to become a yes man in order to stay safe.

The Festival was a disaster and a huge blow to Tubbo's self esteem. The famous line here is "Wilbur said he wasn't going to hurt me" and Tubbo wholeheartedly believed that he could trust Wilbur, his former president and older brother figure. However, all he got was the fact that he was now expendable to Wilbur. His death was brushed aside and it seemed like the only person who cared was Tommy. Even Tubbo quickly became desensitized to the fact that his own pain did not matter in the chaos of the situation.

His life becomes even more chaotic when he is thrust into the role of President and his self sacrificing nature kicked in when no one else would take the presidency. And then in the first 10 minutes into his presidency, he is shot and his nation is blown up.

Tubbo takes this all in stride, repressing everything in order to rebuilt but his cabinet does not listen to him and constantly talks over him. When his vice president and best friend gets into trouble, Tubbo learns that he must be louder in order to be heard.

Tubbo felt betrayed by Tommy's actions during the exile negotiations. He felt as if Tommy didn't respect his power and the pressure of living up to President Wilbur, the threat of becoming like President Schlatt and the expectations of the entire nation all depended on him.

Tubbo once again choose sacrifice but this time, he was not only sacrificing himself but harmed Tommy in his decision as well. Immediately Tubbo regretted his decision and regressed into his yes man habits to cope with the situation.

From here on out, this may be a bit of a stretch but I love putting lore goggles on to every scene for analysis purposes and with a character like Tubbo who is rarely played, we can get some character depth from seemingly "silly" bits.

Tubbo after exiling Tommy shifted from being self sacrificial to self destructive. Both presidents before him had died and the odds were not looking good for Tubbo, already he had made an awful decision that he immediately regretted. Yet he couldn't reverse it and didn't feel worthy enough to see Tommy.

Tubbo never built himself a home in L'manburg. No stuff, no place to sleep, no roots. He told Ranboo that the presidency was all his when the elections came around. He didn't want to be president anymore. He's worryingly self depreciating.

I don't quite remember the timing of this stream but Tubbo and Ranboo once went nether exploring. Ranboo panicked as Tubbo was extremely reckless during this adventure, jumping into lava without fire res, speed bridging with few blocks and jumping off of tall places without checking his health. In addition, Tubbo went through a series of projects as a President, always doing something new and often involving things that could hurt him (ie Ravenger teleportation, tnt jumping). We can see Tubbo become subtly self destructive during this time.

(sidenote: tubbo has a habit to jump off of high things and expecting the person at the bottom to water bucket. Tommy usually is the person to "catch him" and I find it interesting that they both had self destructive tendencies while the other was gone. I'll come back to this point soon)

We never get Tubbo's opinion on the Butcher Army. He heavily opposed the idea at the beginning of the presidency but agreed to take part in it despite Techno killing him being a traumatizing event.

And then Logsteadshire. The guilt of exiling his best friend and being the cause to his death is too much for his mind to handle and he passes out. We never learn how Tubbo got back to L'manburg and the next time we see him, he is back to throwing himself into project after project.

The next time we really see Tubbo is when Tommy and Technoblade take Connor hostage. Ranboo says that Tubbo is just staring at a grass block and when Tommy appears, Tubbo is severely shaken. He is glad that his best friend is alive and upset that he's teamed with his murder but has to all shove it aside to fulfill his role as president. Tubbo takes Tommy yelling at him and Techno's accusations with no protest and once again, represses everything to move on.

Already the Green Festival reminded Tubbo of familiar events but at this time he was in control or so he thought. He had already failed an execution so he was determined to make this word so L'manburg could be safer. He had failed Tommy so he might as well try to make the server a better place by killing Dream. Yet Tubbo had doubts about it.

Dream was manipulating Tubbo during his entire presidency. Tubbo truly believed that Dream was his friend and thought that Dream supported him as a president. His self esteem was so low that he searched for validation anywhere (ie "rate my kidnapping", "phil tell me I'm doing good pls") and Dream willingly gave him companionship.

But then Dream started screaming at him and calling him and awful president, Tubbo agreed with Dream. Tubbo saw himself as weak and stupid and no one came to his defense so it had to be true.

His fight with Tommy was very impactful and led Tubbo to believe that the discs mattered more than him but we'll get back to that soon. Most of the things said during this fight were forgiven by both parties so I hope it doesn't affect him much.

Sidenote: when Quackity suggests to execute Ranboo, Tubbo chooses forgiveness for Ranboo having been in that position before and snaps at Quackity. Here we get a glimpse of Tubbo's inner emotions and we can see clearly that the events of the festival have hurt him.

Doomsday is further proof to Tubbo that he is the worst President that L'manburg had. He stares at the destruction in mute disbelief and even throws himself into tnt and in front of a firework for Tommy. By the end of the experience, Tubbo is so drained that he has given up on government, the fight beaten out of him and he lets L'manburg go, thinking it was his fault it fell.

Tubbo has suffered the most from government yet strives to make a community. Snowchester was supposed to be his healing. However, Tubbo's paranoia from all the violence and the lessons that he has learned from the others, caused him to built a way to defend himself. He doesn't even make a bed for himself in his new house.

Then his life gets shaken up by the Disc War Finale. He refuses to talk about his feelings on the odds, accepts defeat instantly as they were "doomed from the beginning" and doesn't seem to mind the fact that he might die.

In fact, he says "It was about time anyway"

Tubbo thinks he is living on borrowed time. All of the presidents before him are dead and he is in a seemingly impossible situation. Death seems to be the only option and he has accepted it before hand so he is fine with it. Even Tommy seems shaken by this as Tubbo was so positive about the situation before. But Tubbo had been hiding that all for Tommy's sake as he is very self sacrificial.

When everything seems to return to "normal" Tubbo tests his nukes and later tells Ranboo that be had expected everything to go horribly wrong. He is trying to heal and does a decent job at it, starting a family and building Snowchester.

But then he gets the memo that Tommy has been trapped in prison with Dream. He checks out the prison, being a inconvenience to the guards and is hardly fazed when Sam threatens to kill him. He leaves feeling disappointed that he cannot help but that is what it is and Tubbo thinks that Tommy is the strongest person he knows.

So that's why Tommy can't be dead. Tubbo denies Sam's words and when they finally register, begins an investigation to find out who's to blame. He becomes self destructive again, wearing Dream's armor and building a familiar panic room to research the crime.

He is once again extremely reckless when investigating. With Ranboo's help, they go and investigate the egg and Tubbo shows his lack of care for his own safety. He tries to break open the egg, challenges Bad and Ant to a pvp and suggests to continue investigating. But at this point, Ranboo has noticed this recklessness and gently reminds Tubbo of Michael.

From this point, Tubbo seems to be healing again. And then to make things better, Tommy is back and they are going to kill Dream but that's okay because it hasn't really settled yet. Tubbo is once again shaken by Tommy's return and follows him in silence to make sure he is really there. He is so worried about Tommy, he reaches out to MIA Ghostbur to help him.

Tubbo is still self destructive but less so after this. He still jumps off high places but does so more out of trust. He finally gets a bed in Snowchester and things seem to be looking up.

But then Tommy's words about Dream settle in. Dying is no longer permanent and Tubbo has things he wants to protect. To do this he recommissions the nukes but is panicked when one is stolen.

We have no idea where it is going to go from here, but I can already see some problems with Tubbo's increasing paranoia.

In addition, the details about the nukes and their suicide button and Tubbo's willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good does not bode well.

Overall, Tubbo is a complex character and I greatly enjoy how he is played.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you have any comments!

Not enough people appreciating Tubbo for the MVP he truly is, so here, just as a reminder for y'all:

Tubbo has always been super smart, hard-working and helpful almost to a fault. I don't remember the exact specifics from L'manburg's days in regards to this, but what I do clearly recall is that Tubbo was always ready to help out, gathering numerous resources, with zero complaints. And after the first exile, he became a spy, and you know, he like... didn't have to do that? It wasn't just that Schlatt pressured him to come up and become his right hand man, because I'm sure they could have figured out some way for him to escape, or just stay under the radar in his cabinet until they won - no, he saw an opportunity and took it. He endured Schlatt's regime, his shouting and berating, the loneliness and heartache, just to help out Tommy and Wilbur better. And after being made president, he was very determined to make it better, to make sure the land was peaceful, to rebuild it and lessen the conflict that had plagued the land. He even outright wanted to allow anyone to join, friends or enemies, cause he wanted to make it good for everybody. And even after exiling Tommy, which Dream pushed him to do, he continued to try to build the land to the best of his ability, even as he grew more and more guilty and distraught, because he took his responsibilities that seriously. And he was absolutely crucial in the disc war. And he founded Snowchester, built a whole town almost all by himself, invented fucking nukes, just to protect his family and home. And even now, he is ready to help Tommy with anything, and the same probably applies to Ranboo as well.

So not to devalue Tubbo to just a support character, but if he had to be labelled that way, well... he's was an amazing one, and I truly believe that, without him, the smp would have been vastly different, and possibly wouldn't have even gone as far as it has.

So here's to Tubbo - never a yes man, just an incredibly loyal and diligent friend who has always done his best to not let anyone down. He and his efforts, and sacrifices, are much appreciated by me <3

Aight, so c!Tommy truly thinks loneliness is worse than death, and that explains so much. Why he was so willing to sacrifice everything for Tubbo to stay by his side, why he was so quick to forgive Tubbo as long as it meant Tubbo would stay by his side. Why what almost drove him to kill himself at first was Dream leaving him. Why he constantly brushes off his suspicions of Jack in favor of pretending Jack is still his friend. Why his go-to coping mechanism in exile was to create a fake companion.

And it's a classic trauma response, isn't it? Because after getting cut off from your loved ones for weeks, after enduring weeks of waking up and your one main fear being having no one to talk to but yourself that day, why wouldn't being dead be preferable to loneliness?

The meaning of houses on the Dream SMP

17.01.2021

All of this is probably a reach and deffo unintentional but as long as I can see something more I don’t really care. I’m just having fun here.

The further Dream SMP goes the more I ask myself “What’s the deal with houses on this god damn server?”. They’re either blown up, burnt down or used as a way to mock the green bastard. So, perhaps there’s a way to connect the history of houses with the characters that used to reside in them?

A house represents a safe haven; a place where you always feel welcomed, a place that protects you from the outside world. A sanctuary if you will. What exactly do houses represent on this server?

I will only mention the most memorable cases because I can’t keep up with everyone to be honest.

Warning: longpost and probably lots of grammar mistakes

Dream

Dream used to have a house before. It was his secret base that Tommy later discovered during his little war with Dream. But that was a long time ago. Back when Dream still cared about things other than Tommy’s discs. It almost feels like a distant memory by now and there’s barely any way to tell if he still uses it.

Season 2 revealed just how cruel and uncaring Dream has become. And that he’s homeless. Toying with a kid like he didn’t just abuse him and destroyed things he cared about so much. As the time goes Dream continues to lose his followers and everyone he once cared about.

Dream technically had a house that was built and destroyed by CaptainPuffy. It’s safe to say he never actually used it. Puffy’s effort to build a house for Dream was in vain because Dream never cared in the first place.

Dream doesn’t have a place to call home neither does he have any friends left. The only home he had is now a distant memory of the old times. 

But you can’t go back in time so might as well go and blow up other people’s houses.

Technoblade

Now Technoblade's first home was Pogtopia. A ravine that served as a bunker for the union of the Minecraft brothers (if you consider sbi canon on dsmp). For this period of time Techno’s heart was with the rebellion. 

After that Techno has a history of people betraying him that prompts him to close off entirely. His new house is isolated and located in tundra. It’s cold on the outside but on the inside it’s warm and cozy. The only person who can enter his house for as long as he desires is Phil.

Technoblade’s house parallels his mentality perfectly. 

Tommy

Tommy’s dirt house is easily a historical monument at this point. That’s his place of many, many good and bad memories. It’s been his house since the beginning and the only time Tommy had to change his house was during his exile.

But the exile arc is also a time period when Tommy’s moral sense shifts for the first time. Just like he had to move in with Technoblade his morals started to incorporate some of Techno’s antics and ideals. “The end justifies the means” like Techno says.

Tommy’s dirt house itself changes every time Tommy logs on the server. The amount of times it was damaged by others can only compete with the amount of damage Tommy’s character had to endure throughout the history of the server. The only reason why Tommy won’t decorate it properly is because dirt is the easiest material to work with and trying to repair it countless of times is truly bothersome. 

On another note Tommy’s house is also known as the place everyone visits ever so often. More often without his permission. I swear to god, his house is like when all fairytale creatures came to Shrek’s house. Tommy also has the ability to bring people together for whatever he’s up to. He can’t be a president, but he is an inspiring leader. He knows more than anyone about the power of cooperation and ‘togetherness’. Pretty much everyone on this server is one way or another related to Tommy. He, just like his dirt house, is the heart of the Dream SMP.

Tubbo

To me, Tubbo has the most interesting history of houses.

For starters Tubbo rarely forms attachments to physical objects. Being a pragmatic fella he focuses on ways he can utilize his surroundings. He does, however, like to express himself through building which is very apparent with his plans for L’manburg.

The two main points about Tubbo’s history of houses are 1) all of his houses are destroyed just to make a statement; 2) when one house is destroyed Tubbo will build another one shortly after. 

Tubbo’s first house on Dream SMP has fallen victim to Dream’s inability to mind his own fucking business when he declared war on L’manburg. It didn’t even have to do anything with Tubbo specifically. It was merely a show of power. In similar fashion during Tubbo’s presidency L’manburg was blown up to serve as a “lesson” to Tubbo, Tommy and others.

Tubbo himself, just like his houses, are constantly used by others to get what they want. Be that Dream in his game with Tommy or Quackity who abuses Tubbo's ideals of equal power to get all power to himself and then hide behind Tubbo's back.

Even with L'manburg gone the same scenario happens in Tubbo's new home – Snowchester. Nice little piece of land that Tubbo founded with the idea of it being a sanctuary, a place where he can get away from the SMP and a place that he can finally call home. This time it's used by Tubbo's good friend Jack Manifold who decided that getting closer to Tommy's best friend is the way to get his revenge on Tommy.

One thing Tubbo brings up is that he never had a house in new L'manburg. This parallels Tubbo's feelings after he had to exile Tommy. When Tommy was gone there wasn't anyone who still supported Tubbo except for Ranboo.

As for the second thing it's more about Tubbo's very forgiving nature and never giving himself enough time to grief.

You remember how Tubbo forgave Technoblade for murdering him on the festival? How he barely held any grudge against Wilbur or Technoblade for making him the president of the crater? Instead he said "Let's build" and went to gather more resources. The most astonishing thing to me is how he wanted to invite TECHNOBLADE to Snowchester. He's always willing to work on rebuilding. Be that a country or the trust and bonds that were once broken.

Ranboo

Ranboo's pretty straightforward. Had a house in L'manburg but was never loyal to the country itself as he prefers people over nations. After L'manburg he goes to live with Phil who once saved him.

George

Now, we all know George's love for sleeping through plot events. The reason I'm bringing up George's character is because I hate that bloody mushroom house. It was used as an excuse to exile Tommy and George clearly doesn't give a single fuck about it. The fact that it was built during the important server event only makes it clearer. The house was restored in 5 mins while the damage that the whole conflict inflicted on other characters will not be restored any time soon. The house means nothing. In fact, it means to George just as much as anything else on this server.

Community House

Community House represents, like you would expect, a community. Like Tommy's house it's one place that everyone visits.

The destruction of the Community House highlights the moment when everyone on the server started to grow apart.

Thankfully I'm not the only one feeling this way since Tubbo also said that he feels as though everyone is now doing their own thing. Also Bad mentioned how L'manburg fractured into different factions.

Apparently Ranboo is the one who blew up the house which in a way corresponds to how he indirectly caused the discourse within the community with his speech about sides and his title of the traitor. Although it's unfair to blame Ranboo for that.

Skephalo

Skeppy and Bad’s mansion is basically the only residence that belongs to a couple of people. I’m only including this one because it’s sweet. According to Bad he and Skeppy are bound to each other which means if Skeppy loses all of his canon lives Bad dies as well. The concept of soulmates isn’t a big thing on the Dream SMP but I still find it interesting. Bad and Skeppy find the most comfort in each other’s company and their mansion is still standing as a place full of memories of their countless divorces and reconciliations.

20.1.2021

I've been writing this for days and totally missed my chance to post this before today's event. If only I knew that this little meta would lowkey predict what happened today.

I can only add that the Community House is currently being reconstructed. This is nice. Especially nice since we can see it being slightly restored after Tommy and Tubbo come back safely thanks to everyone working together against Dream.

@testingcheats0n Thank you for encouraging me to post this

Achilles

dream smp fanfic

song: achilles come down by gang of youths

tw: suicide

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down

Tommy stared over the country him and his friends created and fought for. The land he called home.

Wont you get up off, get up off the roof

His brain was fogged with worry and stone cold fear. He thought of his discs, and all the pain he’d endured for them. All the people that betrayed him and didn’t stick by him as he trusted them, even when he thought they were family.

You’re scaring us, and all of us

He stared at the deep crater. The pit of rubble, that his land once adorned, now a result of anger and war and bravery. The place he fought for and the place he lived for. Where his patron lyed.

Some of us love you

Tubbo, his best friend, Wilbur a brother to him, Phil, a father to him. Betrayed him. He took a deep breath, his anger gaining on his anxiety and fear. His mind was set.

Achilles it’s not much but there’s proof

His throat felt as if it was closing, air quickly fleeing from his open lungs. He felt suffocated by the air polluted by explosives and betrayal.

You crazy assed cosmonaut

He thought of his time in exile, his time with dream, and every thing dream has done to him. The lies and the manipulation, being gaslit. He couldn’t fathom how he had gone so insane to the point he called dream a friend.

Remember your virtue

His discs. His purpose in this life, was his discs. The wars he waged with his twin soul, his brother.

Redemption lies plainly in the truth

Tubbo was never his friends in the end..was he?

Just humor us, Achilles

Had he ever truly had someone by his side? Ever? Or was it all a lie and was his courage futile?

Achilles come down

He turned his head, hearing steps behind him. Eyes focusing in on that of a former friend of his. Tubbo. Suddenly, he felt wind in his hair, he was weightless. The sky above and death below. He listened to the whistle of the wind around him, and the screams of his former friend above him. He closed his eyes.

Get up off, get up off the roof.

Time stood still for a moment.

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down

Tubbos voice was heard from miles, his throat closing as he heaved for air. He could just barely see his best friend disappear below though his teary eyes.

Wont you get up off, get up off the roof

He fell to his knees, his head thrown back as he screamed at the sky, the wind, and gravity. He wanted so badly to blame gravity.

The self is not so weightless

Yet he knew it was his fault.

Not whole or broken

He was the reason Tommy lost his sanity. He failed to stick by him, be his brother in war and in peace. He failed. He punched the ground beside him, the ground of their land. Or what was left of it.

Remember the pack of our youth

It was supposed to be them in the end, winning their wars. Getting their discs and their home back. But he lost so much more instead. He betrayed everyone. It was all his fault.

Where you go

Tubbo shakily stood to his feet. He pictured Tommy, the bench. Melohi ringing through his ears with the sound of his own blood curdling scream as he watched Tommy plummet to his death.

i’m going

He stepped to the ledge

So jump, and i’m jumping

Tubbo hugged his arms around himself, wishing it felt the same as the embrace he would never get again. Suddenly his feet were off the ground, eyes shut tight as he choked on his own sobs that were silent over the loud air pushing into his ears and clothes and engulfing him in his last breaths.

Since there is no me without you

Quirk Time!

I have come up with nearly everyone’s Quirk for my SMP Academia AU, so here’s a list and descriptions for each! 

Students:

Tommy

Quirk: INVENTORY

Inventory means the user of this Quirk can summon objects to their hand as long as they know exactly where the item is, and then return it to it’s old position. Tommy uses a chest in his room to put objects in that he can’t/doesn’t want to carry all the time, and summons items from there should he need them. 

Tubbo

Quirk: RAM

Ram is the Quirk that gives the user the ability and physicality of a ram. This means Tubbo’s legs are instead the hindquarters of a sheep, and he is amazingly agile in the face of physical obstacles. Tubbo also possesses horns, a thick skull, and can eat almost anything without any negative drawbacks. 

Ranboo

Quirk: ENDERMAN 

Enderman is a Quirk that allows the user to teleport short distances, and have a height of 7 feet at minimum. Eye contact sends Ranboo into a primal rage that is only calmed if the one who made eye contact disappears from line of sight. Ranboo is also extremely sensitive to water, and it will burn him like acid if he touches it with bare skin. 

Quackity

Quirk: DISGUISE

Disguise allows the user to transform into any other individual, whether or not they actually exist. Quackity can use this Quirk to shapeshift into anyone, including himself with different features should he wish. Quackity often uses his Quirk for humorous purposes. 

Sapnap 

Quirk: PYROKINESIS

This Quirk gives the user the ability to manipulate any open flame within line of sight. Sapnap often carries around matches to start a fire should he need it. 

Jack 

Quirk: VENGEANCE

Vengeance allows the user to be immune to death if they have unfinished business in the mortal realm. Jack often makes enemies to ensure he has a failsafe should he prematurely meet his demise. However, despite his Quirk, Jack’s body still endures the pain and consequences of anything that had killed him, causing him to be in pain almost constantly from past wounds that should not have been able to heal. 

Niki 

Quirk: UNKNOWN (aka i havent figured it out yet hgdffhjd)

Purpled 

Quirk: WHIPLASH 

Whiplash allows the user to directly return any force inflicted on them to the sender. Purpled does not use this ability often, and not even to its fullest extent unless it’s a life threatening situation, but when he does it is an incredibly debilitating attack. 

Teachers: 

Bad 

Quirk: INFERNAL 

Infernal is a Quirk that allows the user to transform into a giant demonic beast under immense pressure. Along with the other form, users of the Infernal Quirk can manipulate their life force in such a way to bind them to another individual. Bad has used this ability only once to bind his life force to the Pro Hero Diamond Man (Skeppy). 

George 

Quirk: LULL 

This Quirk gives the user the ability to instantly put someone to sleep if they make direct eye contact with the inflictor. This Quirk also effects the user, as the energy it takes to send someone into REM sleep is incredibly depleting. Because of this, George is almost always asleep. When he has regained the energy he spent on sending someone to sleep, he is surprisingly energetic and engaged, and wears tinted glasses to prevent eye contact in casual settings. 

Puffy

Quirk: EWE 

Variation of the Ram Quirk. 

Sam 

Quirk: UNKNOWN 

Connor 

Quirk: SONIC SPEED 

Sonic Speed propels the user 100 times faster than the running speed of a regular individual. (1600 km per hour) Connor has to eat ludicrous amounts of food to keep up with his enhanced metabolism. Sugary foods “recharge” him the fastest, but is not healthy or reliable for long periods of time.

Pro Heroes: 

Diamond Man (Skeppy)

Quirk: DIAMOND

This Quirk transforms the user’s skin into unbreakable diamond. Skeppy uses this advantage to be a powerhouse in a fight against a villain, since his only weakness is his own exhaustion. 

Foxheart (Fundy)

Quirk: SHIFT

Shift allows the user to change between having a human form and having an animal form. Fundy’s animal form is a fox. He uses this to heighten his senses and sneak into high security lairs to gather intel on villains. 

Slime Boy (Charlie) 

Quirk: VISCOUS

This Quirk gives the user the ability to be unrestrained to the limits of a human body should they choose. Charlie is able to save himself from damage by turning his body into a slime-like consistency at will. 

Stopwatch (Karl)

Quirk: TIME MANIPULATION

Karl’s Quirk gives him the ability to stop, reverse, forward, and slow the passage of time. As of now he can only do so for a few seconds at a time, as it takes an immense toll on him. The longest he has ever used his powers was to pause time for a full minute to rescue citizens from a collapsing building. The attempt put him in the hospital for a month and a half. 

Villains: 

Dream

Quirk: OMNIPOTENT

Dream knows all, and sees all. His Quirk has corrupted his mind, and has lead him down the path of apathetic destruction. He finds it entertaining to toy with mortals, but often underestimates what they can do since he sees himself as so much more powerful than them. Dream is threat #1 against the academy. 

Punz

Quirk: UNKNOWN 

Unaffiliated/Unknown Standing: 

Technoblade 

Quirk: WAR PIG

This Quirk gives the user the characteristics of a boar, including the ability to be an unstoppable force in battle. When Techno smells blood, he flies into a rage that is only calmed when any opposition is destroyed. This ability is blind, which has caused him to harm his allies more than once. Due to his past of bloodshed, he has been dubbed as the Blood God. 

Philza

Quirk: ELYTRON

This Quirk gives the user fragile, beetle-like wings that protrude from their shoulder blades. Flying takes about the same amount of energy as running, so Phil only really does it if he needs to. Due to his insectoid wings and his past of destruction, he has been dubbed as the Plague. 

Eret 

Quirk: LIAR LIAR

This Quirk gives the user the ability to completely waive all suspicion against them by crossing their fingers and telling a lie. (Ex. If Eret told a stranger he was their friend and crossed his fingers, they would accept him with open arms without any opposition.) Eret has used this ability to become the most powerful person in the city, but is lonely since he knows that none of his friends are truly his friends out of their own volition. 

HBomb (I KNOW WHAT I SAID BEFORE I CHANGED MY MIND BC THIS MAN IS AS STALE AS WHITE BREAD) 

Quirk: UNKNOWN

Deceased:

Wilbur

Quirk: SOULWEAVER 

This Quirk allows the user to freely manipulate souls of themself and others. Wilbur only discovered this Quirk after his death, when his Quirk brought his soul back in the form of a spirit. Prior to his death he was believed to be Quirkless. He has only used his Quirk one other time to bind two compasses to Tommy and Tubbo, using pieces of their souls so the compasses would always point to each other. 

Schlatt 

Quirk: RAM

(See above.) 

for the 'give me one dsmp character' thing

what's your opinion on c!tommy?

HOLYYYYY SHIT

once again PSA before I start, this is the character not the cc ok thank u

I. fucking. love. c! tommy. everything about him is appealing to me. he's been through so much and yet he still pushes through. he still does his thing. it's so wonderful.

I may be a bit biased bc tommys portion of the lore is what I started out with, and immediately I started empathizing with him. he joined the server and started shit, but it ended up pretty peaceful. then wilbur joined, and so the lmanberg era came.

I think tommys lmanberg era was interesting to say the least. he was a reckless kid and it showed, and wilbur grounded him back to reality. but, you could always see he had something special about him. (cough main character syndrome cough)

then we have the exile era. a personal favorite. everything about this arc was incredible to me. it made me feel so many emotions and feel sympathy for tommys character QUICK. his mental state slowly deteriorating, him hallucinating, missing friends, even contemplating suicide was so emotional and raw. he brought it upon himself though, to keep going. run away. try and get the things he wanted back.

then we have the doomsday era. doomsday era tommy was still broken from exile. the fight he had with tubbo, lashing out and saying something he didn't really mean. it shows flaws!!! it shows he's not perfect and can fuck up!! that's one of my favorite things about his character!!! him and tubbo made up, and they were back together. the emotion he made me feel during doomsday when lmanberg was destroyed for the final time is indescribable.

then we go to the finally of the disc war. his lines, the realizations. the "I always thought of myself as your sidekick." directed towards tubbo. god. he wanted nothing more than for tubbo to stay alive and was willing to give up the thing he's been chasing for so long for him. he cares about the people around him so much. and him killing dream and wanting to end it not just for himself, but for everyone else's sake too? and the only reason he didn't fully kill him was because he cared about someone (wilbur) so much he wanted them back? abaouletly wonderful.

and the "stuck in prison/purgatory + revenge" arc up to present day. him wanting to build a hotel, better himself, move on and be happy but realising hes not going to be unless he gets clarity and sees the bastard who hurt him SO much one last time. get the last laugh. and then he gets hurt and literally goes to purgatory. all bc he wanted some closure. his character literally never gets a break. man gets revived, then he decides he wants dream gone again and doesn't want wilbur back bc dream is far far worse than he thought. and so is wilbur. he's deathly afraid of getting hurt. shaking at the thought of taking damage. not wanting to go back to puragtory. endure more hell. and then wilbur gets revived. and he has to deal with that. then immediately gets thrown into a land dispute with quackity and wilbur. and then his house gets destroyed.

HE DOESN'T GET TO HAVE ANYTHING NICE AND I AM INCREDIBLY TIRED OF IT. he's been through so much and pushed through it like a fucking champion yet the only people truly proud of him are tubbo and ranboo, and they don't even know what all happened in exile.

I just want ppl who aren't c! tommy apologists to put themselves in his shoes for a bit. just a little while. tell me how well you handle everything he's been through.

overall, I give him a solid 9/10 . he's a fantastic character that we get to see so much of the thought process behind and I love that, yet he still makes some stupid mistakes and decsions just like everyone else.

(can u tell I'm a big c! tommy enjoyer)

the realization that l’manberg is truly gone this time, no rebuilding, no making up for things, no repairs. a place that brought so much joy, and was the heart of the dream smp is gone. and rightfully so, despite how much people loved the place, it was the center of tyranny. every conflict arose from within that nation. it had good intentions, it was all there in the beginning. and no matter how much conflicts it might’ve started, it was home to so many. it was beautiful, a sign of hope, a brightness amidst the chaos and darkness. l’manberg will live on through its people, through tommy, and tubbo, and wilbur, and fundy, and niki, and eret, no matter how much some might want to leave it behind. but for now, it’s history. a figment of the past. a lesson for future rulers to not make the same mistakes all the past presidents once did. it’s a lesson that all needed to learn, just as niki said. and though, it might seem rash, unnecessary, too much, abrasive, torturous, it was, it really truly was a lesson. a lesson in learning to let go. a lesson in learning to love something outside of yourself. a lesson in learning when you need to stop. a lesson in learning when a good thing has ended. it’s endured much in its time, but it’s gone now.

it’s gone for good.

o7

Introductions

Summary: Ghostbur arrives in the Void and meets the half of Alivebur that never returned to the Overworld. It is not always plain sailing. Chapter 1 of Unequal Halves.

Warnings: Implied/referenced self harm, derealisation(?), unreality, death, smoking, alcoholism mention

There is the low hubbub of quiet conversation in the air. All around him is rubble and he can't quite recall how L'Manburg came to look like this. If he asked Phil, his father would likely explain. Something bad must have happened if he can't remember. So... maybe it was for the best that his mind goes blank whenever he thinks about it. It was probably just the result of Alivebur blowing the country up anyway, he didn't get a great vantage point before he died so the theory is feasible. Ghostbur must be misremembering how L'Manberg looked before- Huh, no it got restored at some point, he knows that. Not Alivebur's doing then. Phil would know. Phil knows a lot of things, including how to potentially bring back Alivebur. Speaking of Phil, his father was stood next to Eret, both of them lingering by the little recreation set. Ghostbur isn't paying much attention but his best guess is that the topic revolves around their third resurrection attempt today, the reason they've all gathered here once more. He wonders whether the others like Tommy, Fundy and Tubbo will join them. He wouldn't mind leaving for a few minutes to make absolutely sure he's said his goodbyes to them and others. That said, he has had nearly an entire week between the last attempt and today to do that. Not to mention the few days prior to that after he and Phil had organised the first round of re-enactments. Perhaps if this works out, he could influence Alivebur somehow and say goodbye posthumously. "Well, if we're going to do it, better sooner rather than later. Unless we're waiting for the exact time of day he died." "No, let's do it now. I've got the totem and sword, we're all here... there's no point in waiting for the stars to align." "And if it goes like the last two times?" "Then we deal with it. I'll take the blame for wanting to use our third and final chance." There is a pause and in the corner of his eye, he can sense Phil looking his way. "Ghostbur?" "Hi, Phil." He floats over. "Is it time to try again? I've been going over my lines so nothing can go wrong." "I'm sure you have, mate." Phil takes his arm so it is outstretched with an open palm. Into his awaiting hand, a small figurine is placed. It resembles a villager with tiny wings poking to the sides and eyes made of emerald. He believes the closest he's come into contact with one of these totems is that time some citizens of L'Manburg locked Techno in a cage as a prank. Was that thing he saw Techno use a totem? He can't recall correctly, he's not even sure he was fully paying attention since he was watching Friend sniff around at the time, but the light show had been very pretty. "This is a totem of undying. It's going to help us with resurrecting you. Do not drop it at any point. Hold it as tight as you can, got that mate? You holding on to that totem is more important than any lines you might have rehearsed." He playfully tosses it between his hands. "Okay." "Ghostbur." Phil snatches the item from mid-air. Ghostbur catches a glimpse of his father's scornful expression and instinctively averts his eyes. "This is serious. Do you understand how important it is for you to hold this totem or not?" "I do, Phil. Sorry." The item is returned to him. Like he's been instructed to do, he grips it tightly and refuses to let his hold on it weaken. Their little dramatisation goes well. He says the crucial line, the button gets pressed and even more impressively, Ghostbur doesn't flinch in the slightest when the sword meets his semi-corporeal being. This is the third time he's properly died as himself and the sixth since Alivebur's birth. He's sure that if there's any deity in charge of death, they'll be going 'oh it's you again' in a second. ---- It's an odd thing to see your doppelganger in front of you. Wilbur is certainly not a twin and he's never met anyone he's shared a particularly strong resemblance to either. Even during the genetic mishmash that created him, both sides of his family tree had won their battles yet neither claimed true victory over the other to represent themselves more heavily within him. So sure, there were traits you could see he'd inherited from his mother but it wasn't as if he looked like her. However, he was yet to meet someone whose similarity in appearance took him by surprise. The first time had been a shock. He'd been tolerating Schlatt's company with Mexican Dream making the experience a little easier to endure. The Wilbur duplicate had randomly appeared while the three of them had been sitting around, wasting time at a table. The guy is only there for a matter of seconds but it's enough to register his appearance. There's the matching dull grey skin and the hair that's darkened with death. Wilbur's vaguely aware he used to own a sunflower yellow jumper like that in life. It's certainly not the chequered top he's wearing. It happens again shortly after. Wilbur Two doesn't stay long but he appears at the exact spot where Schlatt was sitting. A flimsy connection seems to form, strong enough for the ex-emperor to speak through the ghost and have an extremely blurred view through his eyes. Wilbur sits there as his political rival talks bullocks about jacking off, protein powder and cigarettes. Wilbur would tell him to cut it out if he had cared enough about his counterpart being used like that. All he says when Schlatt seems present within himself once more is impatient prompting to continue their game. They'd anticipated another visit but his clone hasn't shown up since. By now it's been... months maybe? It was hard to tell with the only natural variables when it came to the passage of time being whether it was day or night, sunny or raining. He's been stuck in what he believes is the transition period between spring and summer ever since he got here. Which is absolutely ridiculous given that he has some creative control of this place. Regardless, he's honestly half forgotten about the incident when they truly reunite. The clone sticks out in his bright jumper. It's one of the days Wilbur's dragged himself away from whatever tree roots he's picked to curl up besides. Upon spotting the other Wilbur, he follows from a distance. He ascends a nearby tree. He swears he's been here before, amongst the highest branches to observe someone who didn't know he was there. It's the kind of deja vu he hates, the one with not even the slightest hint of why he might feel that way. Well, maybe one reason but he'd rather not dwell on that. Listen, he tells himself after travelling through the treetops, he's not going to be whole until the two of them interact so he'd better just get on with it. Well, here goes nothing. He pushes off and hops down with a thump. ---- It's peaceful here. Daisies are dotted around, as are oak trees. Despite not knowing where exactly he is, he appreciates how at ease the occasional sounds of wildlife or the leaves of trees rustling in the wind make him. Well, at least for a while, that is. He swears it's just birds. Honestly, what else would it be if not birds? He's being silly. Although, maybe he should escape from any potential creature's line of sight. A part of him he can't reach urges him to not seek out any dirt walls, to head in the opposite direction of them in fact. He's pretty sure he doesn't have anything to protect here other than himself but the instinct to fool potential pursuers directs his movements. A weighty object impacts the ground behind him and he abandons his efforts. Ghostbur risks peeking over his shoulder. And that is how he finds himself face to face with the man who'd been following his movements. "Well, took you long enough." The stranger was certainly not there a moment ago. The fact they are his mirror image is naturally the most striking detail to notice. Although, he will say Alivebur doesn't look too well. His beanie helps with hiding the full extent of his hair's dishevelment despite said hair potentially being able to somewhat distract onlookers from noticing how permanently exhausted his face was. It doesn't matter to Ghostbur. Regardless of the disapproving crossed arms he is met with, he politely introduces himself. "Hi, I don't think we've met before. My name is Ghostbur! What's yours?" "You know our name." He's rifling through his pockets, seemingly unconcerned by the momentous occasion. "Oh, you're Alivebur then." "Ali-" The other Wilbur's head whips up to glare at him. "Do I look alive to you?! We are both the same person, a person who is very much dead." "Deadbur then." "Wilbur is fine. It's our name so I don't see why you can't use it." "It doesn't matter anyway." Wilbur abandons his quest to locate whatever he was try to find. Instead, he sticks out his hand, offering for it to be shaken. "Since you haven't disappeared 2 seconds after showing up this time, I think it's high time we wrap this little charade up, don't you? My best guess is we need skin contact or something along those lines." "Charade?" The hand's altitude falters slightly, almost as if the disgruntled sigh it was paired with had caused it. "Us being apart. I'm sure you've had your fun but it's time we fused back." He should take Wilbur's hand. He really should. This is what Phil, Eret and the others were working towards. People wanted Alivebur back as it was. So that meant he had to go. Think of all that time and effort to prepare everything for something he suggested they do in the first place, wasted by cold feet. Was he the first one to bring up resurrection? He honestly has no clue. There isn't a guarantee that this will work anyway. Same as... something he's sure has slipped his mind. Oh wait no, the button! He hadn't been sure about whether that would be successful either. But it had been. So this would likely be too, right? Except, he doesn't want to. He's not ready to give up the feeling of sunshine as he strolls around, the aroma of ingredients as he brews potions, the ability to chat with his friends while checking in on them or any of the other things he's enjoyed while himself. It was him who helped make the lanterns that once floated above New L'Manburg, him who attempted to collect enough books to start a history-preserving library and it was him who tried to build Tommy a nice holiday home to cheer his brother up during their time away from their nation. He knows he told Phil he was willing to relinquish his existence to return Alivebur to everybody but... maybe he didn't entirely mean it in his heart. They'll never be enough time, regardless how much the universe may wish to grant him, yet this doesn't feel like it's close to enough. "...No." "No?" "I don't want to go back yet. I..." He isn't too keen on that scowl. Perhaps if he makes up an excuse, things won't be so tense. "I just got here so why would I leave before I um, explored?" Shoulders loosen and Wilbur is back to absentmindedly rummaging through his pockets. "Guess I won't force you. And well, if you're going to be here for the indefinite future, I can give you a tour of this place." "That would be really helpful. Thank you." He breaks into a grateful smile. "Okay so to the north is grass and trees, to the west is grass and trees, same to the south. Oh but the east is actually quite exciting. You'll find trees and grass there." "I... see. Sounds great." Keep smiling, no need to ruin any potential future rapport so early. "I can't wait to look around." "Ghostbur, was it?" "Uh huh!" "Guess I'll be seeing you around." Having finally found his cigarette, the one native to these lands waves him off, the soon-to-be lit stick inbetween his fingers. He begins to stroll off into the cover of forest. He's sure he's being silly but Ghostbur could have sworn the quantity of trees gains density as it conceals the other man. Still, Ghostbur has seemingly been left completely to his own devices so he comes to the decision he will spend the rest of the day exploring. It can't hurt to get a feel for his surroundings. Honestly, how monotonously repetitive could this world really be? --- This is fine. All this is a setback but not one they can't overcome. He'd meant it when he said he wouldn't force Ghostbur to do anything. This was all a waiting game, to be honest. He could win it with the mouth that had long ago rallied people to a cause. He once believed in the phrase 'words over weapons' and how nobody in L'Manburg should wear armour because they shouldn't need that level of protection on a daily basis. The reality of tyrannical violence had proved him wrong. However, it was a negotiation that ultimately won them the war, albeit not one he was part of. He still likes to think Tommy's success that day was potentially due in part to Wilbur rubbing off on his right hand man. So in the pursuit of victory, Wilbur vows to stay civil where possible. --- As Ghostbur wanders, he comes to realise how true Wilbur's summary had been. The longer he explores, the longer the green persists. This world truly seems to be comprised of forests and open fields. It's his third day of checking what each path may offer when he finds himself in the midst of trees. However, the woods here were familiar. All around him was birch bark. They're scattered about and nothing about them indicates a natural path that can be made. Yet, as Ghostbur walks, he seems to know instinctively how to navigate the area and the way in which he should weave through the trees. It surprises him to eventually discover a stream flowing by these woods. Yet, at the same time, he feels like he should have been expecting to find it. Why does this place feel familiar? Oh. This was where Alivebur met Tommy, wasn't it? He could almost picture it. He had been wandering around the area surrounding their latest base. At least this part of the world tended to have fairly warm Aprils. Even better after the two months Phil had made them spend in a tundra during winter. It was completely nonsensical and Wilbur had made sure Phil knew his thoughts on the matter beyond any doubt. But they'd evaded any of nature's potential attempts to make them hypothermic long enough to get through it. Now all Wilbur needed to focus on was enjoying the not-yet-scorching sunshine while Phil was... off collecting resources, he believes. He's sure he's slightly lost. The general direction of their temporary base, that was no problem to discern but the actual way to reach his destination? Who on earth knew. It was just birch tree after dumb birch tree. There weren't any of those markers that he'd been taught about either so it was like he was destined to get lost. But then, a break in the tree line? A stream, actually! He's sure Phil has the essentials like water down already but it wouldn't hurt to gather a bucketful more. Phil did lend him a chest for a reason, after all. It's not the cleanest nor clearest body of water he's ever seen. Who really cares when there's ways of purifying it. It does seem to go on for a great distance, further than Wilbur's eyes can tell. The stream itself isn't particularly wide. He reckons he could easily leap over from one side to the other. On the opposite side of the bank, there's a hole that seems to have been hollowed out by hand amongst all the mud. Rather bizarrely, there's also a random child lingering there. Wilbur was hardly an expert on determining someone's age, especially when it came to younger children. However, he'd soon know with hindsight that the little boy in front of him had been roughly 4 years old at that moment. Blond hair messy to the point it might be easier to shave it all off than attempt brushing it, clothes tattered and dirt visible in several spots of his skin, it was evident from this kid (regardless of their isolated surroundings) wasn't meant to be here. "Hey, are you lost?" "No. Go away." A thin branch makes an attempt at threatening him. "Are you planning to hit me with those sticks?" The little boy glances back at the pile nearby. "They're my Scary Ouchers." "Scary Ouchers. Uh-huh." He forces himself not to laugh. This kid must have undoubtedly been through a lot if he's out here on his own seemingly long term. "And am I scary?" "Maybe." "What if I tell you my name, will that help me be less scary?" "Dunno." "Well, I'm Wilbur. And I promise I'm not here to hurt you." The kid seems to shrink within himself slightly as he weighs whether this 11 year old stranger is worth trusting. "Tommy." "Tommy? Okay. Hi, Tommy. Do you want me to take you home?" "I have a home." "Then let me bring you back there. I'm sure your Mummy and Daddy are worried about you." "Got a home." He repeats, banging the stick in his hand against the earth. "Tommy," Wilbur sighs. "You get that this isn't a good home, right? Come on, I can take you to my camp. Me and my dad will help you out." Tommy's confliction persists until he tentatively raises a hand, all fingers folded inwards except for the smallest one. Wilbur giggles as understanding dawns. One pinky encompasses a much smaller one. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you, Tommy." "You sure?" "Just pinky promised, didn't I?" Tommy considers this then nods with all the solemnness that only a child his age could treat such a practise with. They gather up all of the so called 'Scary Ouchers', god Phil will probably get a kick out of hearing the story tonight, and dump them in the chest. With Tommy tasked with guarding their wares upon the shoddy wagon Wilbur had constructed himself ages ago, the older boy guides them back to camp. Phil is understandably confused when he sees another child by the tents. He quickly resigns himself to their new reality. The conclusion that there are no parents to speak of, at least not anymore, is kind of obvious. Any memory of them will be stolen by time and the inability of a developing mind to store any event for potentially lifelong recollection. It's fine though. The four year old has a new family now, one that will love him for years to come. And after they return home to the little house situated in a valley? Well, Wilbur's little brother only gains volume when he speaks and far too much energy the more comfortable he becomes with his new life. In response to this memory, he longs to have Tommy here, to be the good Alivebur who can be trusted to be on better terms with his little brother. The two of them used to be really close, despite how often they drove each other up the wall. But Ghostbur had seen how Tommy didn't seem too fond of Alivebur anymore. There was also the fact Alivebur had become bad at some point down the line, driving Tommy as well as others away. Because nobody is born bad and Ghostbur struggles to reason that an 11 year old boy who genuinely wished to help a homeless kid approximately a third of his age was bad too. Here, in this secluded area full of birch trees with flowing water as part of its soundtrack, Ghostbur imagines a teenager obnoxiously laying across his lap in the gentlest of ways. Tommy calls him a bitch through chuckles and playfully chastises him for being 'all sappy and shit'. It's reminiscent of moments that truly did come to pass once upon a time. His little brother once made him a daisy chain while in this very position but unfortunately, this was back when Fundy was still tiny and all it took was little hands being allowed to inspect the item before the stemmed links broke as a result of tears. It had still ended well, the remnants were sprinkled in Fundy's then-wispy hair while the baby's giggles joined the laughter of his father and uncle. God he misses Tommy. He hopes that one day, if- when he and Wilbur manage to reform into Alivebur, things will improve and they can have that again. --- By now, he knows not to expect Wilbur to look his way. It's okay, he's used to it. People would talk to him then struggle to continue fully politely hiding their desire for him to leave them to their own affairs. At least Wilbur is more willing to be upfront with it, he supposes. Wilbur has things he wants to do and so must Ghostbur. When the rain descended upon them yesterday, their conversation resulted in them clashing. Wilbur can come out with a spiteful anger without much provocation. It usually lies restrained on the surface but Ghostbur dreads when it is fully unleashed on him. For the most part, there is an understanding that for whatever reason, Ghostbur is not inclined to view him fondly. He wonders if his rejection of the merging request has anything to do with Wilbur's negative bias. Perhaps it is best that Wilbur keeps his distance. He doesn't want to believe that is the case though. It is for this very reason that Wilbur approaching him with an friendly offer takes him by surprise. "I'm going to visit Schlatt and Mexican Dream. Want to come? I think it would be interesting to see how you'd affect our dynamic. Plus, an even number of players means we could do teams." "Of course." A grin bursts onto his face. He follows Wilbur's lead as they traverse the path. He's getting used to the scenery but when he notices a mushroom his eyes had previously missed when passing by, he knows he's far from done yet. There is no time for admiration right now and he's fully aware Wilbur will outwardly make known his frustration otherwise. When they reach their destination, Wilbur tears a section of the bark off from a spruce tree. Instead of revealing more inner layers, a fully lit pathway stretches in front of them. "Well, go on. It's not like I can hold a rip in our reality open forever." "Oh!" He slips past obediently, watching Wilbur join him immediately afterwards. "You must be quite strong then if you do this regularly." "Sure. Became a real bodybuilder out here." The deadpan causes Ghostbur's attention to flick momentarily to the black sleeves that certainly aren't filled, least of all by muscles. The corridor practically belongs in an aquarium. The arching walls are made of glass, allowing for full view of all the dolphins, turtles and large variety of fish on display. The pathway itself is unusually wide but since they were heading to meet with Wilbur's friends, he can only assume they liked spending time here and therefore needed the space. Following each pair of glass panels were strips of wood upon which torches were hung. It created a lovely ambiance along with the shadows from the waves outside. To be fair, his only complaint is the temperature. It's freezing, nearly unbearably so. Perhaps they are in the sea by a tundra, sheets of ice floating above them on the surface. That would seem like a plausible answer. Ghostbur could spend a good long while here if he found a warmer outfit. "It's very pretty." "Yeah. Just wish I didn't keep having to see it for the first time each week." He wants to harness the inquisitiveness of a toddler in order to learn how exactly Wilbur would ever be able to forget a sight like this. But something tells him it's not the time nor place. Maybe the view out of the windows shifted with each visit. That seems like a decent explanation. So instead he comes out with "I like the lighting too." "Ghostbur," He momentarily glances back over his shoulder. "You can't expect me to create a dark single-file pathway. There's no steps to a dead end either, see." It's muttered with such quiet sincerity that Ghostbur questions what happened to the Wilbur who scorned him and carried an air of resentment towards everything. He wishes he had some blue to offer him right now. Whatever Wilbur's issue with dark and narrow corridors was, Ghostbur can tell it's awful, too awful for him to ever understand. As they make their way between areas, Wilbur debriefs him on what to expect. It nothing too elaborate, simply a few rounds of card games. Until they get too bored or fed up with each other. They mostly stuck to solitaire and poker if he's going to be honest. Sometimes they'd pull out board games for the sake of variety. The three of them had promised Monopoly was for when they wanted to watch the world burn which hadn't happened yet but there'd been threats to manifest a game the next time they all met up. First there was Schlatt. When Ghostbur completely blanks at the name, it is begrudgingly explained to him that this was the guy who succeeded Alivebur as president. No effort is made to hide the fact Wilbur does not view Schlatt's continued presence in his post-mortal existence in a positive light. He even admits to the game he played whereby he attempted to guess what the J in JSchlatt stood for. It did nobody any good but it served its purpose of annoying Schlatt quite well. The ex-president was a poker kind of guy which also caused clashes between them. Ghostbur is told to expect alcoholic drinks being available, especially the stronger varieties. The man's fatal heart attack hadn't been helped by his drinking habits so honestly, it seemed pretty much on brand. Either way, the less Ghostbur allowed himself to do with Schlatt, the better in Wilbur's opinion. The other member of the group was Mexican Dream. Ghostbur remembered Quackity, right? Well, Mexican Dream was his cousin. He'd been generous enough to allow Wilbur the opportunity to learn Spanish as a way to pass time. He shrugs when he says it's something to get up for. He wasn't the best student because he frequently missed scheduled meet-ups by accident or simply let practising what he'd learned when he did show up slip his mind. Regardless, Mexican Dream was an alright guy who tended to hang around Schlatt and Wilbur more for the sake of company half the time. You just had to watch out for when he began going on about his love life. Ghostbur's new, Wilbur warns, so as fresh ears he'd be a prime target for the laments regarding Mamacita. The other half of Alivebur wishes him luck if that becomes the case. Oh and before he forgets, don't ask about his death. Touchy subject apparently. The civilities go well. Given the warmth (or lack thereof) he receives, Ghostbur would say Wilbur's assessments of temperament weren't too far off. Ghostbur sticks by Mexican Dream's side throughout their games, chatting as they attempted to ignore the tension ever brewing between the former political leaders of L'Manburg while they played. Wilbur does not take long to lose his temper at Schlatt. "You can't put a joker directly under a king. Also they're both spades so not only are they in the wrong position of the sequence, they're the wrong colour and suit for that move to be legal." "You know, Wilbur, this is why I always say we should start with poker." "Oh you and your poker. If you love poker so much then why don't you make it your vice president so it can leave you the minute you piss it off one too many times." "You don't like poker because it's too hard for you to understand." "Says the one who can't even understand that a black king can't be immediately followed by a black joker." "Well at least I don't have a tell that even a newborn could recognise." "And at least I'm not so untrustworthy that two-faced is an understatement." Wilbur glares before adding an ever so succinct "Wanker." as his closing statement while he collapses back into the chair. "Asshole." "...I have a joker and it's red. Would you like it, Schlatt?" "Thank you, Ghostbur." Schlatt grins in a way that somehow makes Ghostbur wish he wasn't in his company. Wilbur's face gently slams into open palms. When his fingers are finished with their journey down his face, he plucks the offending card out of his counterpart's hold. "Put the card down. We can't start mixing packs like this." Wilbur abruptly rises to his feet. "Actually, you know what? Sod this. Between you and Tweedle Dum here, I feel like he's the lesser evil. Come on, Ghostbur, let's go back." Like a plus one whose only way in and out of the event was their invited friend, he has no choice but to follow Wilbur's lead. He would rather stay and get to know Mexican Dream better but it would seem it wasn't on the cards for today. He waves the pair goodbye. Mexican Dream returns it genuinely. Schlatt's smile comes across as sinister and his attention appeared to be on Wilbur as it was. "...I can see why you like Mexican Dream more." He comments in the tunnel home. "Yes, guy's less of a twat." He distracts himself from this disaster of a meeting with the marine life outside. It doesn't prove as effective as he would hope. --- He doesn't understand why or how but it seems that Wilbur has developed the ability to have a hunch as to where Ghostbur could be found. Today this hunch led him to a peaceful stream. The water flows uninterrupted and he can't recall the last time he was in the presence of such clear water. He suspects it goes on for a while before meeting a larger area of water. Ghostbur himself is seated by the bank, admiring the scenery surrounding them. He periodically remembers himself and returns his focus to a little notebook he was scribbling in. "What's this?" "Wilbur." The ghost lights up at the sight of him for whatever reason. He pats the ground beside him. "Come, sit here. It'll be fun." "I'm... I'm good thanks." "If you're sure." There's that wide smile again. There's no way he can't call major bullshit on it. "Has anyone told you how unnerving your constant good mood is?" "You're just saying that because you like being moody." "I'm saying it because it's the truth." He scrutinises his other half. "Nobody has the ability to be that positive 24/7." "I- Well, I do." There is an argument he could begin having with Ghostbur but he hasn't got the patience for it. "What are you writing about?" "Oh, this is my diary. I don't want to forget what I've been doing while here." Wilbur is struck with the desire- no, the need to discover what Ghostbur has been writing about him. As a general, intel was everything and as a fugitive, every bit of insider information had the potential to prove useful. Ghostbur correctly interprets his extended hand but still hesitates before adhering to the request. It's pointless though as there is nothing regarding himself to analyse. Day 8 (24/1/21) I am in the Void so I think the plan worked. I wish I could tell Phil because he seemed quite worried about the process failing. I have been counting the days at the back of this book because they all look the same and there doesn't seem to be any calendars anywhere. So I'm guessing it's January 24th right now. I think I'm getting used to the Void. Everything is very green but I like it. Exploring has been quite fun and Wilbur introduced me to a couple of his friends for a games night. The tunnel to get to them is beautiful but I think I'll need to craft a few campfires to help combat the cold there if I want to watch the wildlife. I also need more cornflowers to make blue with but they seem to be difficult to find which is a shame. I will have to keep looking but that's okay. Maybe I can convince Wilbur to help me if he's available. I'm at the stream where Alivebur met Tommy right now. I really like it. It reminds me of the picnics Alivebur used "A picnic?" "Yeah! Alivebur used to have lunch on a raft with his mum whenever they could find one. It was fun." "Good for us, I guess. I wouldn't know anything about that." Except maybe, it seems, he might. The feeling of feet bounding against the earth. Excited yelling. Ruffling of hair with something that wasn't an arm around his shoulder. An exasperated chuckle while something sweet was on his tongue. Playing lookout by a window. A contest that ends with a soggy lap. Surrounded by laughter and happy chatter. He realises what this is too late. As it fades, he chases it. No, come back. Don't leave. He needs it, even if it's the vaguest of scraps. Please, please, come back. "Wilbur?" "Sorry, I might have just spaced out for a minute. I was thinking about... about... I don't know, something." "Here." Ghostbur presents blue dye. "I haven't been able to find many cornflowers to make it but I think you should have some." "What's this for?" "You look like you're about to cry. Blue's very good at absorbing all your sadness away. You let it soak it all up and then throw it away. I promise it works. Honestly, try it." "Thanks but I'd rather not stain my hands with blue dye for the sake of humouring you. That shit takes forever to get off. Although... this does explain why your clothes are like that. I thought we'd be smarter than to wear something bright while frequently handling a substance that stains easily." "Well okay then. The offer's always there if you want it though." "I'm fine. Just need a breather. Don't uh... don't wait up for me or whatever." The worst thing is he has no clue why he's suddenly upset. Sitting on top of a hill, he overlooks land with the potential to be built upon, land that had seen construction in a world similar to this one. He's not sure if he's in the exact spot but it's close enough. In his mind's eye, L'Manburg springs into existence, a diagonal line cuts through the wall as it is destroyed by Fundy's pickaxe. Their country had come close to death before but that day had arguably been its last one. The reason why Tommy wasn't by his side in that moment is lost to him. A spark of resentment temporarily roars into a flame as he thinks of how his former right hand man should be present for this in a way more than simply joining in at the end of the anthem over a voice call. Oh who cares anymore? It doesn't matter now. Alone, he witnesses L'Manburg die before him for the... how many times was it now? At least if he's going to be mournful, he should mourn something he actually knows he's lost. --- The entry concludes with a final paragraph. I've also met Wilbur. He's the other part of Alivebur and he wants to fuse so we can be Alivebur again. We will have to eventually but he seems willing to wait. I hope he stays that patient because I don't know how long it will take me to say yes. In the meantime, I want us to become friends. He can be so dismissive and angry but despite how mean he seems, I think we could still get along if we really try. I think getting more blue should be on my list of priorities because he really needs it. Which reminds me, I need to draft a list of priorities. I think I should get on that as soon as I can so goodbye for now. --- Ghostbur makes the decision on the... well he needs to check his memory book to remember exactly what day it is but whatever today was, that was when he sets himself the goal of working on a house. It'll be a nice place, not too fancy (at least not at first, he can add to it later if he so desires) but it can be a lovely base for himself. Maybe Wilbur too, if he can get the other half of Alivebur to join him. The problem was he wasn't sure where to take inspiration from. He built a house for Tommy during their holiday and he really liked how that simple little place turned out. He also recalls Tubbo's house from when he and Tommy were messing around shortly following his arrival in the area. Now that house was very pretty. It would take some more effort to get right, especially when all he had for reference was the memory of it, but he feels it would be worth it if he wanted to go down a similar route in terms of design. Oh! Didn't Techno have a lovely looking cabin too? Perhaps he should keep that building in mind as well. Or he could come up with something new entirely. He wasn't sure yet. He thinks it may be best to experiment first. It's as he is figuring out the size and shape he'd prefer the ground floor to be that Wilbur comes across the soon to be construction site. Arms crossed, he doesn't look too impressed. But then again, when does he? "What is this?" "Oh hi, Wilbur. I thought I could build myself a house. It could be our house if you'd like. Or... Or maybe I could add a bedroom just for you if you already have a house." "I think I'll pass. Though this does explain all the missing oak trees around here." His gaze flicks to the pile of wood Ghostbur has gathered. "Anyway, you're just doing this by hand?" "How else would I be doing it?" "I have my ways. You probably have the same ones." The two of them venture through a taiga until they reach a hill overlooking an empty field of plains. Even before he truly lays eyes on their expanse of their destination, he can sense how far of a drop it would be to reach it without caution. "Wait!" The warning comes too late to have any effect. Wilbur leaps from the edge. Rushing forward instinctively, Ghostbur dreads the scene he is sure will be upsetting to witness. He shuts his eyes but risks a peak regardless. It's to his utter shock that Wilbur stands waiting, perfectly fine. "I know we pretty much have all the time in the world but I'd rather not spend it waiting for you to get on with it and jump already." "You're not hurt?" "What? No, of course not. Why would I-?" Realisation arrives and Wilbur's only reaction to it seems to be an eye roll. "We're dead, you idiot. When was the last time your feet actually touched the ground? In fact, when was the last time you even had feet?" "Oh." "Yeah." Wilbur continues to walk ahead, using an arm to beckon Ghostbur in the right direction. "Now come on." Once they settle on a spot for the demonstration, wooden blocks materialise without warning. They arrange themselves into an empty birch cube that is perhaps twice as tall as they are. It's not a complex structure, pretty non-descript. Ghostbur had been hoping to be a bit more ambitious with his construction work than this. However, he supposes Wilbur is simply only showing him the basics. There's no need to go overboard in an attempt to show off. "It's pretty simple, really. All you have to do is picture what you want and boom," A final block of birch comes into existence. "It shows up without much effort. It saves a lot of time and hassle. Got it? How about you summon a torch to test it out." He imagines a stick. Even a branch will do, he feels. As he does so, a weight grows in his hand with the appearance of a long brown object. The stick he summons is actually fairly substantial once it solidifies. For extra measure, he concentrates on the tip. He devotes his thoughts to warmth and autumnal bonfires and an orange glow then- Oh! Well, next time he should make sure he's careful when causing spontaneous combustion. "See? Easy. Now toss it here." With the rudimentary house completed and torch in hand, Wilbur carelessly allows the flame to linger too close to the wood. Ghostbur is unable to cry out a warning before the building is set alight. It gradually dawns on him that, somehow, this was a deliberate action to achieve this consequence. It leaves Ghostbur more lost regarding the workings of the other man's thoughts than ever. "What is the point in this? I don't... I don't understand." "It's warm." He acts as if this is the obvious answer. "Do you feel it, Ghostbur? Do you feel the cold, the way any and all sources of heat seem to be sapped while you try to make the most of them? You've been here days, you must feel it. Took me a day to recognise what it was. It's the Void, Ghostbur, it's the Void. It- It- It takes the heat from this place. We could be standing in the middle of the fucking desert right now but you'd still feel a chill, like someone left the window open and caused a draft. I... you know, I made this place to get away from it but it followed me regardless. Just... got muted, I guess. I carved out a little bit of the Void. Not even that big. It simply feels that way because it's like in those drama productions where you have the scenery on a rotator or whatever it's called. Not using it? Just poof, gone on standby or- or taped over. Mixing my metaphors here." "Stop standing there before you're on fire." "Hmm? Oh, don't worry about that. Doesn't scar or anything. I can reverse any damage, make it seem like it never happened." "Just get out of it." The ghost reaches out to his friend. Wilbur steps back to avoid him. "Ghostbur, I'm fine. I only want to be warm." "I can make a fire if you want. A normal one, in a pit." "Like I haven't made a bonfire before. You really think I haven't tried that?" "Let's get some water. You just have think about it, don't you?" "Wait, no! I tend to watch it burn. Gives me something to do." "O-Okay." So they witness the structure's demise to fire. Ghostbur mourns the loss of the materials that seem to be going to waste for the sake of entertainment. He can't help but succumb to the desire to be enraptured. The flames dance with curls and bows and sways. He breaks his gaze away to glance at Wilbur, curious to see if he is having a similar experience as him. His companion has only a hardened expression to show, one that pairs a set jaw with calculating eyes. Yet a light, separate to that reflected from the fire, can be spotted dwelling within those same eyes. What one finds aesthetically pleasing albeit wasteful, the other studies as if he can learn how to tame it in order to command it to do his immoral bidding. --- Wilbur thinks of buttons. How technically easy they are to press. How, despite this fact, he'd been getting closer and closer to a dozen attempts before bailing. How one of his last memories (from the ones he'd been oh so generously permitted to keep) was that of burning. Fire is destruction, the chaos of something that aims to consume indiscriminately, a means to an end. But at the same time this is safe, controlled, something he can force to stop if it goes too far. There are 101 reasons why he has every right to hate Ghostbur. More, he'd argue actually. Since they became two, he's been left with the shortest end of the stick. Ghostbur got to go have fun and enjoy himself, got the opportunity to act like everything had always been alright since he'd deliberately discarded the evidence that suggested otherwise. And the personified form of the discarded evidence had simply been forced to endure the nightmares, to desperately avoid triggers he's not willing to confront in any shape or form yet, to attempt to find comfort in familiarity regardless of why an object or location may seem familiar to him. He's done this before. Not every day, mind you. He's not that big of a masochist to pull that shit. Perhaps once or twice in the span of what might be considered a fortnight, if that. Other times he's simply not done anything for a while. But Wilbur has gone through this process before. He has stood in flammable structures and allowed the flames to take their course. He hacks when the smoke increases to the point of becoming overwhelming. It hurts, of course it does (it's fire for crying out loud). Yet when he leaves the scene of arson, any blisters that have begun bubbling on his skin disappear at his command. The main incentive to act so stupidly is to remember. He can recall bombs and the devastation of witnessing his safety being ripped away before his eyes. Over and over, he attempts to confront the things that keep him up at night. The door is always right there, waiting to be flung open the second he decides it is more than enough for that session. In Albert Einstein's eyes, he could qualify to be called insane. He would disagree but then again, they are using different definitions. While alive, he had developed a smoking habit. It began as something to help alleviate stress. Then not inhaling nicotine ironically became a source of stress for him. That's how addictions form, he supposes, with stupid destructive cycles such as his. The inherent need to risk slowly killing his lungs for the sake of feeling relatively decent didn't seem to carry over to Ghostbur. Lucky bastard, always getting the better end of the deal. By his design, most likely. Be civil, he reminds himself, since it will increase his chances of securing victory. Now that Ghostbur is here, he is a step closer to getting what he's wished for since they'd died. It is only a matter of time before he rediscovers the peace of being whole once more. What he hopes will be peace. Wilbur thinks of buttons and fires and explosions. Most importantly though, he thinks of how nice it must be to witness something subjectively beautiful and not question a myriad of life choices. --- Ghostbur didn't appreciate the loneliness. Back down with everyone else, his friends and family either tolerated his company or told him to leave them alone. Even the friendlier ones had a habit of getting tired of him hanging out with them for too long. Sometimes he happened to catch them when they were busy. It was fine and certainly no big deal. Everyone needs alone time. Wilbur, for instance, likes a lot of alone time. Then there were those that Alivebur hurt and struggled to not be reminded of the man they once knew whenever Ghostbur was around, like Phil and Tommy. It was nobody's fault. He did have a striking resemblance to his pre-death counterpart. All this in consideration, Ghostbur could really a friend. Or perhaps more specifically, a Friend. He's seen Wilbur do this practically effortlessly so how hard could this be? He thinks the best way to go about this is to take it slow and begin at the bottom. He brings himself to an open space so he can have as few obstacles during this important moment as possible. Two pairs of hooves appear, already upright on the grass. With them comes four legs then a torso adorned in naturally blue wool which is accompanied by a tail. When the process comes to an end, Ghostbur is met with a familiar face. He wraps his arms around the neck of his closest companion in a hug. "Hi, Friend. I've really missed you. We can hang out whenever Wilbur is being grumpy or wants to be alone. Would you like that? Maybe we can even convince him to like you too. But that might be hard since he doesn't seem to like anyone." He feels it should be common courtesy for Ghostbur to introduce Friend to Wilbur. After all, his twin had already extended that courtesy to him the other day. --- "Wilbur!" There is no need for him to acknowledge the voice calling out his name. Even if he didn't recognise the owner of said voice, there is no-one else it could be. Yet when he does, he isn't sure whether to curse his reflexes for making him see the sight in general or be grateful for the minute's forewarning it grants him. Encouraged to tag along with Ghostbur is an affront to nature. "So..." He begins when the two visitors are near enough. "The sheep." "Yeah! His name is Friend. I had a sheep just like him when I was with everyone else so I thought he could keep me company while I'm here." He's not even sure how to respond to this development. He simply stares at the animal as he attempts to process it. It's so weird because he swears the sheep has one of those rare genetic variations where their wool is quite literally blue naturally. It's obviously not been dyed at all because you can tell with that sort of thing. Somehow, Ghostbur has straight up manifested a sheep with a rare coat colouring. He wants to be more thrown off by it than he is. Yet he struggles to do so. Because, in the several days since he's met the one he shares a face with, he can't truthfully claim he's surprised. "Friend, huh? Well, you really have a knack for coming up with names, don't you?" "I guess." "You asked me the other day what you should call me. You seem to love these cute little versions of our name. Given the way I treat you, I'm surprised you haven't been tempted to call me Meanbur or Sadbur or even Why-The-Fuck-Won't-You-Take-A-Hint-And-Just-Leave-Me-Alonebur?" Ghostbur hesitates, clearly a little shocked by this outburst. He quickly corrects himself, changing his expression instead to something more akin to content thoughtfulness. "Oh, I know! What do you think of Soulbur? I like Soulbur. Because you're half of his soul." "Fine, whatever makes you happy. Though if you really need to bother someone, I'd rather you go to Schlatt or MD." "But do you like Friend?" He glances back at the sheep for the sake of humouring his twin. "I... I suppose it's alright for a sheep. Don't want too much to do with it though. It's your pet." "He is more than a pet." And it comes off as if he's offended him. "He's well, he's Friend." "Gho- It is a sheep. I get that you're attached to it- him so you're hardly planning to serve mutton anytime soon but he's still just a bloody sheep." As he distances himself from Ghostbur to escape this nonsense, his ears catch muttered assurances that 'Soulbur' was not worth listening to. Plus, what kind of name was 'Friend'? His ghostly counterpart sounded like a child who'd decided their stuffed toy deserved a name to fit the role of lifelong companion. He'd retaliate but he's far from in the mood. --- Okay, as it turns out, he does begin to get used to the new moniker. For one thing, it's easier to differentiate himself from their pre-death self (though Ghostbur seems to have that covered thanks to his insistence of using 'Alivebur'). Soulbur likewise continues to tolerate him for the sake of civility. Hence why he's sat by a small fire and performing the absolutely redundant task of eating a meal. No matter how much he attempts to explain neither of them physically need sustenance, Ghostbur remains persistent on his thoughts regarding the issue. "No cows were harmed in the making of this steak." "Oh that's good." Ghostbur beams. "And you made a joke. You don't do that often." "Listen, I might not have a reason to laugh anymore but I do still have a sense of humour." "You know, you sound like Techno when you speak. All serious and bored." "Doesn't surprise me." He mutters. "Besides, you're the one who kept the happier emotions in the split. I'd be worried if I didn't sound like I have the more exhausting ones." "What?" "What are you confused about? You said you can't remember upsetting things, right? Well where did you think they went, the back of your mind, left stranded in the void- no, actually I suppose that one is technically true. Either way, the oversimplified version of events is that you got the good stuff and I got the bad." There is silence but there is also calm. From it, Soulbur gains the courage to put forward one of the questions he's been deliberating on for a good long while. "Ghostbur…" He frowns. "How did we die?" "You don't remember?" "No. For some fucked up reason, we apparently thought so low of ourself that it was a good memory. That or you took it to spite me." "I-" Soulbur holds his hand up. "No excuses, no rambling in the hopes you can beat around the bush. I just want the truth. Because all I can remember is Phil showing up, us getting frustrated then this unbearable pain as if... as if something was cooking us from the inside. I don't know I- it just hurt. A lot. Then we were dead. So what the hell happened to us?" The ghost is focused on fiddling with the sleeves of his yellow jumper. "I don't want to say." "Bad memory then. So... an unnecessary theft. As much as I hate to admit it, that was supposed to be mine if it was traumatic." "Wasn't nice but it was a good moment." "Well, was it good or bad? Make up your mind! I told you, I didn't want any messing around. I'm not expecting an essay from you, only a sentence or two." He groans. "Okay, how about this since you can't give me a straight answer. Did we press the button, yes or no?" "We did." "Brilliant! We got somewhere. I suspected it was burning debris but couldn't be sure. That's all I wanted." Soulbur manages only a handful of steps before his twin's voice is heard once more. "It wasn't debris. The explosion didn't kill us." "Then what did?" If his patience wore any more thin, somebody would have to pull out a microscope to view it. Ghostbur appears conflicted, ever tugging on his sleeves. "Phil was the Saint George to our dragon. He stopped us from hurting anyone else." "Whoa whoa whoa, hang on that's- Phil wasn't always the best parental figure to us, I know that, but he would never... kill us. That is not the kind of guy he is." "We asked him to." "Why would we-" "Don't ask me. You're the one who's always grumpy. You should know." Ghostbur argues back. "Even if we begged him on our hands and knees, as shitty as he could sometimes be, Phil would never cause us deliberate harm." "But he did." Soulbur visibly mulls this over in his mind before a scowl settles on his face. "Can't win, can you? Unbelievable. Couldn't even trust Phil to be on our side." "But he-" "He was supposed to take care of us. I can excuse him not being father of the year because he only took us in out of pity so we wouldn't end up on the streets. But the bare minimum I would have expected from him is to not kill the kid he's raised since they were little." "I don't know what you want me to say. You said you wanted the truth? Well the truth is Phil stabbed us with a sword because we asked him to. It was a... it was a sword with fire aspect, I think. That's why you think it hurt." "I don't think it hurt. I know it hurt." "Can we stop talking about this? I don't like it." "No. No, we are talking about this. I'm not letting you slink off at the first hint of something upsetting, Mr Repression." "I'm not slinking off. I just don't want to think about this." "Well, welcome to my life, every single bloody day since you ran off. At least you have the privilege of avoiding it." "Stop it! Stop it! Why do always have to be so- so- I'm going to find Friend. At least he's nice to me." "You are literally proving my point right now." "I don't care." "Fine! Piss off then. That's what you seem to do best, cry and run away at the slightest bit of trouble. But you can't do this forever, you know. You're going to have to accept we've been through a lot of shit one day." And for the first time in what he believes has been roughly two weeks, Ghostbur frowns. It is not the slight frown from whenever he is unsure or downtrodden, Soulbur's seen that before. Those times had been more akin to a pout. No, this expression has been witnessed by him before. He saw this occasionally in his reflection while alive, especially in the lead up to the festival and war between Manberg and Pogtopia when he'd been steeling himself to play his role in it all. So perhaps frown is not the most accurate word for it. Ghostbur glares, he scowls, he glowers. And then the façade breaks as if the universe cannot permit an angry Ghostbur to exist. Dark blue pools by his eyes and begins to spill down his face. Soulbur doesn't think he's seen his other half cry either actually. It doesn't feel right, watching the one who kept going about everything with a smile cry and descend into sobs while he's at it. The universe doesn't swiftly correct itself at this though so Soulbur will have to make of that what he will. "I'm going to find Friend." Ghostbur repeats. And that is that for the calm dinner between both halves of the same person.

Caught in the Crossfire

Chapter 4: Together Again and Falling Apart

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Wilbur stood frozen at the bottom of the steps as he stared at the newcomer. His eyes locked onto the mask shifted to the left of Techno’s face. It was an intricately carved boar’s skull complete with sharp tusks and menacing dark pits for eyes. It was truly fit for the man who’d earned the title ‘Blood God’. It fit the stranger in front of him that Wilbur used to call his twin.

He felt like he was caught in an unspoken competition. Whoever made the first move would lose. Looking at Technoblade, he could tell that they both were waiting for the other to speak so that they could gauge their reaction. 

Techno slowly turned the rest of the way around to completely face Wilbur and put a hand on his hip. He let out a quiet sigh and said with as much casualty as he could muster, “Hey there, Wilbur.” Techno’s monotone voice hadn’t changed at all since the last time they’d spoken. Wilbur could almost let himself melt into the comfort of its familiarity, if not for how they’d left things.

He quickly stuffed his beanie into one of his coat pockets and ran a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to look far more put together than he felt. He tried to persuade his muscles to relax as well. He could handle this… new development. 

“Technoblade,” Wilbur clipped. He squared his shoulders and folded his arms behind his back as he looked down at his brothers. “I wasn’t aware you were coming to visit.” He let an easy smile find its way onto his face, although it failed to reach his eyes. His eyes were like ice in their cold and clinical formality.

Techno choked out an awkward laugh, betraying his discomfort of the situation. “Yeah, well I-”

“It’s a shame you came all this way for nothing though.” Wilbur raised his voice to speak over Techno. He began making his way closer to the two on the other side of the hallway. When he was halfway to them, he continued, “As you can see, we’ve been doing perfectly fine without you here to watch over us.”

Techno fixed him with a skeptical look. Wilbur merely laughed at it. “Yes, yes, I know. Tommy and I have hit a bit of… an obstacle. But we’ve gotten through worse already, and we did it without your help.” He waved his hands about in a way that commanded their attention. He held the stage, and he’d be damned if he let either of them forget that.

He clapped his hands together and switched his gaze over to Tommy. “In fact, I was just about to talk to you about a new plan in the works. I’ll need you to contact Tubbo soon. I need to speak with him privately outside of L’manburg.” Wilbur hadn’t thought he’d agree to Dream’s plan so soon or even at all, but he knew that if he didn’t prove that he had a plan, Techno would try to lead them instead. Wilbur couldn’t bear the thought of that.

It was then that Tommy finally spoke up, “Tubbo? But isn’t he supposed to be, ya know, hunting us down?” He could see through Tommy’s failed attempt to cover up the fear he felt but decided not to comment on it. Rather he’d do the thing big brothers were supposed to do and reassure him.

“It’s alright, Toms. If you meet with him alone at night, Schlatt won’t have to know Tubbo ever even saw you. He’s only trying to find us because it would look bad for him if he didn’t. You two are practically brothers. You know he’d never hurt you.” Wilbur couldn’t help the smirk that played on his lips as he saw the barely concealed flinch from Techno at the last two sentences.

Tommy muttered an “alright” but still looked uneasy. It was clear that he hadn’t been expecting this when he had called for Techno. He looked up at Techno and saw Techno looking back down at him with something resembling concern.

Techno turned back towards Wilbur again who had gone over to one of the chests. “Wilbur, I’m staying. I came all this way, and I plan on helpin’ the two of you out while I’m here.” 

Wilbur’s shoulders tensed up. He should’ve expected that Techno wouldn’t listen to him. “And who said you were allowed to do that? I’m fairly certain I’ve made it clear that we don’t want-”

“I called him here, Wil.” Tommy’s voice was steady. It held a defiant tone that dared anyone to start a fight with him. Wilbur sighed. He knew that when Tommy used that voice it meant he was dead set on something, and he’d be hard pressed to talk him out of it.

“Fine, then, Tommy. You’ll be in charge of him, though. You wanted his help, well now you’ve got it. But don’t be surprised if he gets bored halfway through and decides it isn’t worth the effort anymore.” Wilbur hissed. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep his anger in check as it froze his very veins.

He brushed past his twin, not caring how his shoulder rammed into the other’s. He stopped after a step and looked back over his shoulder. “Enjoy your stay, Technoblade. Oh, and take this. It gets rather cold down here.” He tossed his beanie lazily at him and narrowed his eyes. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a rebellion to win.”

Techno and Tommy could only watch as Wilbur stepped out of the light of the torches and into the shadows of the ravine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno grasped at the fabric of the beanie in his hands. He remembered it. It was his gift to Wilbur on their first birthday spent with Phil. It was the first thing they owned that they didn’t have to steal. Wilbur was always cold, back then. Techno wondered if he still was.

Techno slipped the hat in between his hip and the belt that held his scabbard, making sure it was secure enough to not fall out unnoticed. He didn’t want to think about the implications of Wilbur being able to so carelessly give it away, especially when Techno had never known him to be careless with anything.

Instead he glanced over at Tommy who looked deep in thought. Techno hadn’t seen either of his brothers in years, but he knew that the kid was smart. He hid it behind bold moves and humor. Techno could practically see the gears turning in his head, calculating the risk of following Wil’s orders and seeing this Tubbo guy. 

He took a breath in to ask him about it, but Tommy suddenly turned to him first. A big grin of false bravado was splayed across his face. “Well, you heard the man! I’m in charge! You’re my bitch, bitch!” He darted down and poked Techno in the side. “Come on, then. Wil’s probably gone mining, so we can start on… on, uh. Tech, I’m gonna level with you, man. I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing. I’ve just been mining out rooms and shit this whole time.”

Techno raised an eyebrow. “I thought you and Wil already fought in a rebellion before.”

“We did! And we won! All thanks to me of course, but well… Wilbur and Tubbo were the ones that handled the supplies and shit. I did the fighting.” Tommy puffed out his chest.

Techno huffed a bit and walked over to the few chests he saw over to the side. He rifled through them and was disappointed with how little they actually had. He glanced back at Tommy and saw the boy rocking back and forth on his feet, looking anywhere but at him. Techno called to him, “Fine. I guess I can get started on makin’ a farm. You guys are really low on food, and that’s gonna be important in the long run.”

He heard Tommy groan behind him in annoyance, “But Tech, that’s gonna be so fucking boring! Shouldn’t we be, I don’t know, going to the nether and getting gear?” Techno got up from his place at the chests and walked over to Tommy. He put a hand on top of the boy’s head and pushed down, ruffling his hair while he was at it. 

“Tommy, don’t you know I’ve won wars with only food before?” Techno laughed as the younger smacked at the hand on his head.

“You bullied a kid by spending months just farming potatoes. Not sure that counts, big man,” Tommy deadpanned.

“It 100% counts. It was a long and arduous war. There were many times where I didn’t think I’d make it out of the battle alive. But as you well know, Technoblade never dies!” Techno let go of Tommy’s head and beat a fist against his chest. Tommy got a kick out of his theatrics. Techno wrapped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders and led him to one of the hollowed out rooms he’d seen earlier. “C’mon. I’ll show you how to get an underground farm started.”

“Please tell me we aren’t gonna plant-”

“We’re farmin’ potatoes.”

Tommy groaned again, “Fine, but if Wil asks, I told you to do this. I’m in charge, you know.”

Techno laughed again and smiled somewhat fondly at his kid brother. “Yeah, whatever you gremlin.” He cast one last glance to where Wilbur had disappeared to before ducking inside the soon-to-be farm. It may not have been the reunion he’d been hoping for, but if he could keep Tommy laughing and in one piece, he had to be doing something right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as he was sure he was out of sight, Wilbur leaned hard against the wall and clawed at his shirt. “Fuck, fuck. Why now? Why did he have to show up now of all times?” Wilbur clenched his fist against the wall. He was finally getting a plan together, and of course someone had to waltz right in and throw a wrench in it. 

Wilbur took a deep breath and slowly let both of his hands relax. Letting panic rule his mind would get him nowhere, and he couldn’t afford to stop moving forwards. Techno was here, and if he knew anything about his brother, he’d be stubborn about this and provide aid. That could be useful.

Techno was known for his ability to get the best gear and enchantments. Even if he wasn’t, having the Blood God on their side would do wonders as an intimidation tactic. Wilbur could work with this. But was the advantage worth the mental strain he’d have to endure seeing Techno’s face everyday?

“I gotta say I’m surprised. I didn’t think you’d have such an ace up your sleeve so early in the game.” A familiar voice echoed through darkness. Wilbur whipped his head up to find its source and gazed upon none other than Dream.

“How the hell did you get down here?” Wilbur hissed. His eyes darted back towards the hallway where he left his brothers. “I thought we agreed to keep our partnership a secret. Which part of walking right in sounds secretive to you?”

Dream crossed his arms and fixed Wilbur with a hard stare. “It’s called a pickaxe, Soot. I can make my own entrance instead of going through yours. I’m not an idiot.” 

Wilbur ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “Right, right. Sorry. As you can see, I’m a bit on edge, and the last thing I need is more surprises.” He stood up straight and mentally dusted himself off. He raised an eyebrow at his ally, “What are you even doing here? I saw you not even an hour ago.”

“I heard you had a new player in the field. Wanted to come see for myself.” Dream picked at his nails. Wilbur nodded, but said nothing more. Dream picked up on the hesitation, though. “Here I was thinking that having someone strong on your side would be a good thing. Having doubts?”

“I’m just not sure that the pros of having him here outweigh the cons. He’s a talented fighter, sure, but he’s not exactly… reliable.” Bitterness invaded his tone as he thought back to broken promises and shattered bonds.

Before he could spiral too far, however, Dream’s voice cut through his cluttered consciousness, “That doesn’t have to be a problem. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but war isn’t a place where loyalty is a priority. You use what you’ve got at your disposal and go from there. Right now, you’ve got Technoblade. So use that.”

Wilbur turned away from Dream. He was right. It hurt, but he was right. He didn’t have to trust Techno. He didn’t have to form any sort of attachment. Attachment was what hurt him during the first war. Attachment was what hurt him when his old friend stole his country away from him. Attachment was what hurt him when his son tore down the walls and burned the flag. It was time Wilbur finally learned from his mistakes. 

He turned his head back towards Dream. A confident smile placed itself on his face. He could work with this. “Alright, Dream. I believe I’m open to suggestions on how best to do that.” An agreement passed between the two of them. They were setting the board, gathering their chess pieces, and Wilbur didn’t plan on losing.

Thanks so much for reading! I’m having tons of fun writing this! I really hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, I’d love to hear from you. Things you liked, things you think I could do better, etc. Thanks again to my beta reader, @the-ruler-of-rabbits couldn’t do it without you!

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The Things We Once Had.

Shit gets intense really quickly- so if you do not think you are comfortable with any of these I don’t think this is a fic for you.

Please pay attention to the trigger warnings for your own safety things get worse before they get better.

Tw: death, human experimentation, panic attack most likely badly written (sorry), BAD WRITING in general.(sorry for this too)

Prologue

Ranboo shivered as he looked off to the direction of crying, his jaw trembled slightly as the crying turned to screaming trying to move himself further into the corner of the room,

Fight or flight just wishing for him to be gone, out of this place.

It’s hopeless to dream of such frivolous things of escaping, and freedom.

He knew because he’d always come back, they needed him and he needed them.

The screaming got louder as he muttered mutely, wishing it would just go quiet, ‘please be quiet’ he thought silently pressing himself against the wall trying not to cry, the tears in the corner of his eyes stung unusually unshed to the world as he just longed to safety of a person who he could talk to, there was another here, they were the one being studied, but they never spoke, never a single word said, just silent sob from the two as they endured this hell that kept them trapped.

The other already had powers! What was the point of doing more to them?

He knew of the others powers because there had been nights where his dreams became hellish and suffering and the person had helped, they’d helped in silence of hearing the other cry, hide in the shadows wishing for the dream to end but it never did,

Instead it’d change from Ranboo being chased is an field by machines and faceless men with pens and clipboards to an empty field of alliums and pink tulips,

It was tranquil and the rushing of twin rivers flowed that added to the serenity, for hours in his dream he’d pick the allium flowers in hope of one day being able to walk in a flower field similar to do the Same thing,

But as had been said before,

It was impossible to escape,

They needed him, so he had to stay.

The screaming stopped in moments leaving Ranboo in shock of the silence he had longed for, for so long.

It made him oddly more uncomfortable,

‘Did they go too far?’ ‘Did they die or did they just faint?’ His thoughts spiralling as his fear of being left alone in this hell of an institution on human experiments.

It was odd to realise he had been panicking this entire time, in fear of being left alone, without the dreams boy to somewhat be silent company, it wasn't until a body bag was being carried with the weight of something inside did he realise,

How truly alone he was.

His hands going to his originally brown, now black and white hair gripping it tightly and pulling his vision going blurry as his breaths became heavy raspy and laboured,

‘Did he forget how to breathe? Why is it getting so difficult to see? Why am I so alone? I need help, someone save me, where are the heroes from cartoons when you need them?’

His thoughts, overwhelming, blacked out as a flame inside flickered, purple and bright.

‘I’m not going to die here’ was his final thought.

~

Tubbo ran over to Tommy excitedly “Tommy! Hello! Look at this!” He said, trying to force his best friend of many years to view the news article, “Tubbo, when we get on the bus, ok? I don't really want to walk into some of the hot ladies over here ok?” He said rolling his eyes at his friends enthusiasm, and waving warmly at the other teens at the stop waiting for the bus,

“But Tommy, It's the missing teens case, two who disappeared out of nowhere! One was found!” He said excitedly as he looked into it, “they were the last of the two to have been taken which is odd, I would have thought if any of them it would be the first to have been dead” he said thoughtfully, as he looked at his notes on the case,

“Uh huh sure Tubbo” he said not really paying much attention,

“The article said that the body was dumped in a field in the middle of nowhere, autopsy reports say that it was almost impossible to find the way the teen died since it had something in his bloodstream but also there was a clot to the brain and heart,but there's so many other things! They uncovered mass scaring, tissue damage like lacerations by a knife or something sharp! Tommy, this is big, this is SO big!” He rambled adding more notes as he spoke to his forever charging phone an invention he made since it was annoying to charge all the time,

“Remind me why you're so interested in this missing persons case again?” Tommy asked confused finally sitting on the bus Tubbo next to him,

“Because one of the people who went missing, literally had moved to our school, two months earlier, remember Ranboo?” Tommy looked at him blankly, “Tubbo you realise that during that time, dozens of people joined our school, and why does that make you interested in this? You never actually met this guy anyway”

He sighed “I don't know, It’s just nobody knew him, he was new Tommy, nobody made him feel welcome and he was only at the school for a little bit before disappearing I guess I feel bad” Tommy huffed his white wings fluffing a little before resting against his back lazily,

“Tubbo I don’t think it's a good idea to keep doing this research, what if you attract people's attention?” He said “school already sucks as it is, maybe just stop? It will be solved sooner or later, by people qualified to find them, you know, like the actual heroes of the city?” He said looking around the bus “like Wil and Dad and Tech” he whispered

Tubbo shook his head “no.. they haven’t gotten anywhere as much information as I have through the analysis of information that I do, why would I stop? And please, Who would be listening in on a bus, our school already has lost a kid out of nowhere they wouldn’t do that again, too risky they are too smart for that move” he said casually leaning back against the seat.

Tommy took in a breath slowly exhaling, “I told Dad that you were looking into this stuff… both Dad and Wil think you need to stop, they are still looking into possible leads as to where this original person is and where the original body was actually killed. They’re finding new things everyday, just- listen to them ok? I don't want my best friend going missing when it could have been prevented”

Tubbo bit his tongue wanting to refuse but seeing genuine worry coming from Tommy made him second guess,

“Ok Tommy, I’ll stop,” he said quietly, closing his document with all of his findings and spreadsheets.

It wasn't the full truth, he would look into things alone, he just couldn't tell Tommy about his new findings.

Goodbye: Part two

“Tubbo, you could die!” Purple tears stream down Ranboo’s face as he pushes to the front of the crowd, where his platonic husband is.

“I don’t care, Ranboo. Either I have the possibility of dying while saving Tommy, or there’s a 50/50 chance we both die. I like the last odds the best.” He takes his husbands hands and says, “It’ll be okay. There’s an entire crowd out there, willing and capable of killing Dream and forgetting Glatt if something goes wrong.”

Ranboo lets out a choked laugh and says, “You’d be a fool if you didn’t think I’d be leading it. Stay safe.” Tubbo let’s put a choked laugh and walks away, letting their hands slip apart as Tubbo walked towards his best friend, who now had Glatt and Ghostbur floating over him with Dream to his side. As Tubbo approaches, Dream shifts his mask slightly; Tubbo saw the tears streaming down his face but didn’t comment on them. After all, Dream caused Tommy most of the pain he’s endured. In Tubbo’s eyes, he had no right to cry.

“How do we start, Dream-“ Tubbo remarks as he’s feeling Tommy’s neck for a pulse. Much to his horror, there is none. Tubbo starts yelling, in tears, “DREAM, HIS HEART-“

“I know, Tubbo! We need to move quickly!” Dream interrupts him, and turns to Glatt and Ghostbur. “Glatt, get an extra bed and some water. Ghostbur, we need extra clothes. Tubbo, I hope you have a good pain tolerance.” Ghostbur goes to interrupt, but is quickly shooed off. As the two ghosts float to get what was required, Dream looks at the crowd and says, “We’ll need some privacy. So get out of here.”

After the crowd disperses, Dream turns around, his back facing Tubbo. “Tubbo, you’ll need to take off your shirt. I know- listen- I know that sounds bad, but it’s got to be a soul fusion. We didn’t explain it correctly nor completely. A soul fusion would make you two share the same soul, strength, and influence each other’s mentality.”

Tubbo sighs, taking off his buttoned green shirt and says, “So... I’m giving Tommy part of my soul, basically, since his is dying with his body?”

Dream smiles sadly from his position, although it’s hidden from view. With a voice cracked from emotion, he answers, “Tubbo... his soul has been damaged for a long time. Ever since I brought him back, it’s barely been hanging on. I thought...” Dream pauses, taking a deep breath to clear his throat of its forming lump, and continues. “I thought if I restored his body, it’d restore his soul. It... nearly broke him. That, plus his best friend exiling him, plus L’manburg and what happened with Will... I’m surprised his soul hung on for everything. And he never once lost his sanity. Anyone else would’ve broken on the spot, but he was resilient. He’s truly something, Tubbo.” Dream then spins around to face Tubbo, who is again heartbroken even more at what’s been happening to Tommy. Dream smiles and says, “You know... these shared souls aren’t bad. I share one with George. That’s why everyone jokes about us being so close. It’s because we share lives. I mean, the amount of times George has fallen down the steps is AWFUL, but in return, I smack my foot, which makes him jump at random times.”

Tubbo chuckles and Ghostbur enters the room with spare clean clothes, and waving a white rag around. “Nikki said these should be okay to wear, and that this rag is safe for any injuries.”

Tubbo smiles and mouths a thanks to him while Dream asks, “Where’s Glatt?”

Ghostbur smiles sheepishly and says, “Well, we don’t have other beds that are clean, so he’s getting wool for a new bed. He said it’s be better than a nasty bed.”

“He’s not wrong.” Tubbo remarks with a chuckle. Minuets later, Glatt phases through the wall with a bed in his hands. “I’ve got the wool!”

Dream smiles and looks at the shirtless Tubbo, who is strung at his fading best friend with deep regret and sadness. Dream remembers back to when he had that same expression, looking at George after a mining trip gone wrong had almost taken his friends life. He speaks up and says, “Are you ready?”

Tubbo looks back and remarks, “I will always be ready to help save my brother.”