#to get there bc ik the story will be way better once i do that. fuck i wanna RUSH THIS SO BAD but i cannot 😔
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its kinda crazy to think about, but i think the anime version of the darkest day arc was the most faithful adaptation to the original game arc? which is crazy because otherwise jn is allergic to doing anything with galar.
#like…. in a way i cant decide if i like the game or the anime version more here#bc the snappier pace and split roles in the anime do wonders for the story- if a little rushed. like the protags get to do things#before the climax#and its nice to see ash and goh do a raid together like this and the evolutions are both done well#but like……… man. this was a hop and swsh protag plot for sure. like theyre the ones w personal connection to leon#and theyre the ones who live by the heroes’ shrine#and its a great cap to hop’s arc throughout the game where he gets to save his brother for once#makes me think about how dirty hop got done in this show#by comparison ash and goh arent as intertwined with galars history and setting. which… again couldve been solved if galar was the hub#but whateverrr#and ik i just praised the faster pacing in the anime but the slowburn in the games also kinda helps more with buildup#also raihan gets done better in the game and sonia gets to do more and-#ok yeah now that i type it out the game version is definitely better idk what im talking about fjfjfjfjjf but the anime’s adaptation is fine#echoed voice#jn lb
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one day i will post eriks art .and rhe world will sing
#i love him so much . i wish we had more of him T_T sry 2 vash for ur trauma or whatever#hes like .#every time i read a story n grow attached to a chara im like . u know what you need to do#grow out your hair and grow a shitty beard 2 make urself (me) feel better#and he listened .. trimax ch 1 and 2 best day of my life fr#its like .my favorite character design IM SRY OK!!! ik its overplayed but its so yummy . to me#vash#eriks#trigun#i like the way its currently set up wherein ww and vash meet like Technically once and then eriks arc happens and he finds him again#but a smalll part of me is like . what if that happened later in the story and when they knew each other frl . which i guess thats what#stampede is getting at but idc . so#but i do like the way trimax went w it anyways bc there wasnt room for that once vash got moving again#he was determined ‼️ to end it once and for all HSKAGA.hm#dont even mnow what im getting at anymore .#anyways stream eriks frm trimax .❤️#that sc of him and ww walking 2 the fake vash .love the composition love his outfit love the energy
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uggggghh tired. today's words are gonna suck
#she bork#novel 2024#idk i have been STRUGGULLEENG to get my words down the last few days. like i said in an earlier post i think it's bc i'm hitting the last#little bit before the climax so it's like crawling along bc i want to rush it lol but i just have to be patient and get the words down no#matter what. also i'm like slightly disheartened bc yesterday i was reading over a section i wrote last week (which going back and rereading#anything was my first mistake lol) and i realized that i've done a lot of like. summarizing. so when i start that first round of editing i#think i'll have a lot more work to do than originally anticipated. which like booo that sucks and it's gonna be laborious bc like if i#didn't want to fully write those scenes the first time around why would it suddenly become easy on my second spin lol. but i'm still excited#to get there bc ik the story will be way better once i do that. fuck i wanna RUSH THIS SO BAD but i cannot 😔
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can’t decide if i read fight club at the right or completely wrong time in my life
#no bc at the point i’m at right now where i’m coming to terms with the fact that i am genuinely alone in this world. like if i was really in#need there isn’t anyone there to support me or help in the way that i need/want. and like i realise that now - i am alone. but hearing a#story about a man so phenomenally alone that even a medical professional refuses to help him and he actually forges connection once he#divorces himself from everything in his life just speaks to me. it’s so cringe but literally this is your life doesn’t get any better than#this. like you’re nothing you don’t belong anywhere. if we’re god’s unwanted children so be it etc#like ik i’m missing a lot of the book’s message but idk i just relate to the narrator a lot. in the film in the car scene where he says he#doesn’t feel good about anything in his life. like yeah. i don’t know i feel like i#should have never been born tbh#this is so embarrassing why do i feel so strongly towards media and made up stories#dnr
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real useful things i've realized about loa while i was "resting" from tumblr & overconsumption:
• stop gaslighting yourself, make actual change instead. you know when you're not doing it right. if you spiral, get desperate, dwell in the old story... well, i've got some news. -- this might seem obvious but for me it wasn't. i was super desperate, giving like 1 step forward 50 steps back but i still played blind bc i thought that if i just said "oh no but my mindset doesn't matter" that would solve all my problems. damn
• WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. ik EVERYONE says this but omfg. i can NOT stress this enough. actually find what works for you. i used to think that my key (decide once n keep going with my day) was not a "correct" way to do it bc it made "no sense" or wtv, but now i've manifested a lot of things with that method & i'm so proud of myself for doing so :,,)
wdym with "works for you"? whatever makes you confident enough to not spiral, to believe you actually have what you want, to not pay attention to the 3d & doesn't make manifesting feel like chore but something that comes naturally for you is the correct way to do it. trust your feelings, your intuition, yourSelf; they don't lie
• work on your manifesting concept, a.k.a trust in law. we talk a lot about "self" concept but not about "manifesting" concept. for me, i (kind of) believed i could manifest, i just didn't believe 100% in law. i still don't, but i've gotten considerably better!! my best tip to build trust in law was to start manifesting things that were "easier", more archivable, but not happening on a daily basis so i'd know if it was my manifestation turned reality
• stop consuming. not over-consuming but just consuming, literally. don't read neville, don't open tumblr, don't listen to edward nor any other coach! again, this one was obvious to everyone but me. trust me, you already know everything you need. "but i actually put in practice what i read!" yeah, but which one? you read 100 methods everyday. consuming is thinking from the 3d, and long-term it will demotivate you. trust me
• and last one, forget about deadlines. "when will i have it?" now. "where?" here. now and here. keep that mindset, and tbh in one week it'll be done
#4d reality#affirm and persist#it girl#law of assumption#law of attraction#loablr#manifesation#manifesting#neville goddard#shifting#edward art#loa blog#loassumption#loa tumblr#success story#mindset#manifestation#sammy ingram
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alive
simon riley x reader
summary: you almost die on a mission
tags: near death experience, angst with a happy ending, hospitals, hand holding, hurt/comfort, cuddles bc ik y’all crave it, f! reader, also very stubborn! reader, jealousy at the end but it’s not too bad
✞———————❖———————✞
your heart beats below his fingers and simon lets out a soft exhale. it’s not that he doubted your condition, he just needed to see it for himself. simon hadn’t gotten to visit you since the mission, but now you were in safe hands he could relax and sit beside you. his heart aches for you, and he clutches your hand tight. “i’m sorry, sweetheart.” he whispers, blinking. his mask feels stuffy in the warm room, yet he doesn’t care enough to remove it, even when the paint around his eyes begin to smudge and fade. you hum softly, head rolling towards him a little as your body shuffles to sink further into the cardboard-like mattress that was your hospital bed in the infirmary. simon sighs, running his fingers over your knuckles. you twitch a little, hand flexing under the feathery feeling of his touch, and simon lets up, not wanting to disturb you.
“simon..?” you mutter, voice thick with medication and sleep. “i’m here, doll.” he responds softly, and you hum. “hi, there.” you smile a little, not bothering to open your eyes due to the heavy lead feeling on them. “how do you feel?” simon asks, and you hum. “not too bad… i’m on some heavy meds.” your lips twitch upwards once more and simon huffs out a small laugh. “i can tell.” his hand squeezes yours, and you let out a soft exhale through your nose, body relaxing. “don’t get all depressed, si. it’s not my first time in here.” you state, and he hums. “i mean it, y’know.” you finally open your eyes, poking his forearm. “i know you do.” simon states, eyes soft and doe-like. “good. just because i got hurt, doesn’t mean you’re at fault. we all got separated, there’s nothing anyone could of done.” you reply, smiling a little.
there’s a small silence between you both, and yet it’s not uncomfortable. “you’re impossible, y’know that?” simon mutters after the silence fades with the sound of footsteps walking past. “i know.” you respond, closing your eyes once more as you settle beside him. with that, you fall asleep. simon stays by your side for as long as he can before the doctors kick him out, knowing full well he’d be back in the next day after every little job he had to do was settled.
simon comes back after his shower, which he took after training, his hair is damp under his hood and his actual mask is gone, leaving him in the balaclava he wears under it. you’re awake this time, yet relaxing as your fingers run over the bandages. “hello, sweetheart.” he mutters, and you open your eyes. “hi, simon.” the way his name rolls off your tongue makes him smile. “you need to rescue me, si. recovery is so boring.” you joke, going to sit up. simon gently pushes you back down, sitting on the chair beside you. “hey, now. recovery is important. i don’t want any lasting injuries on you, okay?” he mutters, and you sigh. “stop agreeing with everyone.” you roll your eyes but he can tell you’re joking because you break into a grin and kiss his fingers.
simon let’s you talk about things, noting every little ‘get well soon’ gift and card you had gotten. he has to get you one too… “so, yeah. that’s how i broke my arm on the first day of training.” you sigh, and he hums softly. “sounds rough…” simon sympathises, and you hum. you know better than to ask him for stories in return, anything he told you would be of his own accord when he was ready. “johnny dropped off some book, but you know how i am…” you trail off, and simon rolls his eyes. “yeah, yeah. where is it?” he asks, and you point to the bedside table. “in the top drawer. thanks, si’.” you grin widely as he picks up the book, one he wasn’t familiar with, and opens the cover.
you had fallen sound asleep just after simon had finished reading the fifth chapter, and so he put the book down and lifted his mask a little to gently kiss your forehead. he doesn’t leave just yet, he had nothing else to do, and so simon sits and watches over you, keeping a close eye on your vitals and the machines around you. you seemed to be doing well, but simon knows how easily it would be for you to take a turn for the worst; he’d seen it before and truth be told, it terrified him.
simon gets the news that you’d flatlined then been resuscitated from johnny, and he drops his firearm, startling poor gaz who was trying to get some tips. he sprints through the base, ignoring the worried looks and anyone trying to stop him. barging into your room, simon sees price already there, arms crossed as he watches the doctor test your vision with a pocket light. “just keep following the light here, you’re doing well…” he mutters, watching your eyes carefully. “everything seems to be okay… that was a close call.” the doctor stands upright, and price speaks up. “do we have to send her home?” he asks, and you tense. “i don’t want to go home..!” you frown, but the doctor sighs. “if it continues to worsen you might have to.” he replies, and you sigh. “simon..!” you silently plead, plead for him to take your side, and yet he sighs too. “you should listen to them, they doctor’s right.” you frown at him, turning away. simon’s heart aches, yet price pats your shoulder gently. “don’t worry about it, kid. they’re just looking out for you.”
simon moves out of the way to let the two leave, sitting beside you. “hey..” he mumbles, gently grasping your hand. you don’t respond, clearly upset. simon wants to yell at something, someone, yet not at you, he’d never raise his voice at you. “please talk to me.” he begs, squeezing your hand a little. “…i don’t want to go home.” you mumble, and he nods a little. “i know, but if it gets serious you’ll have to go to an actual hospital.” simon responds, although he’s also dreading the idea. “how did this even happen?” he asks, and you shrug weakly. “i’m not sure… it just did- i went to take a nap and i woke up to a damn defibrillator shocking the life out of me.” you frown, leaning into him, head resting upon his broad shoulder. “how do you feel now?” simon asks, moving his hand from yours to rub your back. “my chest hurts and i feel dizzy… the doctor said it’s because i got zapped back to life.” you sigh, and he hums. “as long as you’re alright…”
“i want out of this damn room, simon.” you complain. two days had passed and you were on the up and up. “i know, doll.” he responds, waiting for you to be quiet so he could go back to reading the book you were quite interested in. you sigh, pulling his other hand up to your cheek. you’re pouting, and he sighs. “it’s not so bad, darling.” he mumbles, and you scoff. “it’s awful… i wanna go back to normal.” you reply, and he hums. “well, you’ve gotta get better first.” simon looks at you, and you crumble a little under his gaze. “okay, okay…” you surrender, falling quiet once more so he could continue reading.
simon sighs as he enters your room, glancing to your bed as he goes to close the door. you’re holding onto your iv, knees trembling as you stand. “poor timing…” you mumble as your lover immediately swoops over, sitting you down. “poor timing my arse, what the hell are you thinking?” he demands, and you sigh. “i’m bored, simon! i want to do anything else than lay in this damn bed all day!” you complain, and simon sighs. “i spoke to the doctor before coming in, okay? you’ll be out soon.” he assures you. “that’s what they said two weeks ago then i fucking died.” you snap, and simon flinches. “si’…” you trail off, voice small. “no, no… i get it. it’s hard.” he responds, sitting beside you on the bed. you frown, leaning into him. “i just wanna leave, simon…” you whisper, and he nods. “i know, doll. not too long now.”
weeks pass, and you’re increasingly bored. you’ve always been a soldier that enjoys inserting yourself into situations, especially during training. you were practical and many praised you for it. simon brings you whatever he can to keep your sanity in check, he even tries getting you to knit to try and involve you in something. you’re become more irate and upset with every day, so simon backs off a little, cutting down his working hours on base to bring you books- only to read them to you, but it was something. so, when the day the doctor states you’re fit to leave back onto base, you’re elated, a wide grin on your face as you snatch up your belongings. simon keeps his hand close in case you fell, still unsure of you leaving early, but the doctor pulled him aside and stated it was just for your mental health and that he’d keep a close eye on you.
you sigh heavily as simon helps you into your shared room with the lieutenant, watching you flop onto your bed with a grimace. “careful. i don’t need you going back in so early.” he mutters, painfully aware of the stitches on your side which trailed to your stomach. “yeah, yeah. i’d rather get sliced up and nearly bleed out again before i go back into that damn infirmary.” simon sighs at your blunt words, sitting beside you. “let’s hope it doesn’t come to that again, yeah?” he mumbles, and you soften up. “sorry…” you reply, muttering. “it’s okay…” simon sighs, letting you tug him so you were both lay on your bed. “let me see your pretty face…” you mumble, taking off his mask for him. simon smiles, kissing your lips sweetly as your thumbs gently run over the faded scars on his skin. “that was the worst part of staying in there, i couldn’t see you properly.” you mutter, kissing him again. “shush.” simon whispers, coddling you close to his chest. “it’s true..” you respond, squeezing his waist a little as your head rests against his chest. eventually, you doze off, wrapped up in his arms.
when simon wakes up, he shuffles a little. you’re tangled in his limbs, head still pressed to him, fast asleep. it feels good to have you so close once more. you whine softly in your sleep as simon moves, clinging on tighter. he stills, letting you settle before getting comfortable again. “stop moving..” you mumble, burying your face into his neck. “sorry.” simon exhales, resting his chin atop your head. “s’okay.” you reply, falling back asleep.
you wake up to an empty bed, yet no beeping. sleepily, you stretch and yawn, wiping sleep from your eyes. “simon?” you ask, sitting up. you look over, seeing him doing his morning exercises. “morning, doll. sleep well?” he asks, as if he wasn’t lifting his entire body weight up on a doorway pull up bar that he had attached to the bathroom of the room. “yeah, fine.” you mumble, taking your sweet time appreciating how his back muscles rippled with each swift lift. “you look good.” you compliment, enjoying how he falters for a split second. “knock it off, i have to finish this.” he scolds, yet there’s no sternness in his words. “yes sir.” you stand carefully, sighing. there’s a knock at the door, and so you open it whilst simon gets down. “hello, doctor. thought i had escaped you.” you say smoothly, and he smiles. “you thought wrong.” he replies, entering the room.
his latex gloved hands are cold as they run over the sensitive wound, you can see simon glaring at the doctor over his shoulder. it almost makes you laugh. “the stitches aren’t ready to be removed yet, but they should be after a few more weeks. meaning no training.” the doctor tells you, drawing your gaze to his face. “right.” you nod, feeling a little dejected as the doctor starts wrapping your stomach back up. simon stays quiet, brooding at the fact another man was touching you so intimately. you giggle softly, excusing yourself as ‘ticklish’ when the doctor raises his brows. “all done. i’ll be back again tomorrow to change your dressing and check on you.” he states, bidding farewell as he leaves.
the door clicks shut and you laugh openly at simon, who scowls. “stop it.” he grunts, walking over and engulfing you into a hug. “you looked so upset. it’s funny.” you giggle, pulling up his mask to kiss him. his lips are desperate and hard against yours. “you don’t have to be jealous simon,” you coo, fingers brushing over the scars upon his cheeks. “i’m all yours.” you feel his lips twitch up slightly as he kisses you again. “i know you are.” he replies, pulling you down so he could coddle you whilst there was still some time in the morning’s free period. you tangle your legs with his, fingers running over his chest as you push your head under his chin, completely content with the position. “i love you, simon.” you mumble, smiling widely to yourself. “i love you too, sweetheart.”
#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod x reader#ghost cod#ghost x reader#mw ghost#simon riley x reader#// 🍨 vcnillazelda#// 🍨 call of duty
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satellite → r. keating (b. skeetz)
pairings — robert keating x fem!reader
summary — what bobby skeetz would be like as your annoying boyfriend <3
spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in. i can see you're lonely down there. don't you know that i am right here?
i feel like you'd be a long-term relationship (like teenage years long term)
ik they went to some fancy all boys school so let's say you went to an all girls school near theirs that would often go on trips together (pls tell me that wasn't just my school that did that)
either that of you'd meet through extra curriculars or overlapping friend groups
EITHER WAY met when ye were young (13-14) and got together when ye were 16-17
tbh most people thought you'd only last a few months bcs it was a teenage relationship after all but you're so chill with each other that it became very clear very quick that ye were just different
major "my girlfriend's my best friend" vibes
because of that, every inhaler fan knows you
you're no longer referred to by your name
you're just "mother" now
it's low-key a problem
like in any of your instagram posts or cute little tiktoks, at least half of the comments have a silly little inhaler pfp and are calling you mother
anyways
he's so annoying
definitely a very playful relationship
mocking eachother and all that
telling anyone else (outside your friendgroup) to fuck off if they do the same
he himself wouldn't be very public with the relationship
like you wouldn't be the face of every instagram post but you'd be in a story every few weeks and you'd pop up in the middle of a photo dump here and there
the inhaler_on_tik account however....
fans play where's wally with you in the tiktoks
usually hiding in a window reflection or the hem of your jacket poking into frame
enough to know you're there
you'd be best friends with all the fans
gigs are your opportunity to make new friends
they all adore you
so many fan tiktoks from gigs just have you dancing away with them
they'd bring you flowers <3
but yeah even if bobby himself doesn't post you a lot, fans would get pictures of you two together and they'd be so cute 😭
most of them are taken before gigs when he's helping you out of the bus or ye're walking into the venue together
but someone got a picture of you two once at some silly little market in spain and you were looking at flowers and he was looking at you
they posted it to tiktok and you asked them to send it to you
it was your lockscreen for a bit x
BIRD BINGO!!!
if you're ever traveling without him, you'd take pictures of any birds you pass and send them onto him
i really need to make sure it's known that he'd be annoying
like imagine you're just lying in bed, reading or on your phone, and he just bellyflops on top of you
no warning
no escape
you're trapped
i said the same in my eli headcanons but i don't really get spooning vibes from him
no matter what way you fall asleep, at least some part of him will be touching you
whether he's full on wrapped around you or just got an arm thrown over your torso
it helps him sleep better
you're best friends with the band ofc
i mean, you practically grew up together
you and rob never have a moment of peace with them on tour
you could be curled up in bed, and all of a sudden, elijah's busting down your door and lying down beside ye to tell you about a new song idea
you finally think you're free for a moment having a smoke by the back of the bus? nope, ryan's there now purely because he wanted to annoy ye
josh is nice on ye though (not really) (he makes fun of ye all the time) (he's my little pookie bear angel) (he can do no wrong)
they love having you around
and even if you leave the tour bus to get some snacks and come back to them trying on your dresses and robert doing josh's eyeliner you love having them around too
you're starting to get the mother thing
they do feel like you're hyperactive little children
bobby skeetz, the man that you are, you'd be a great boyfriend
#robert keating x reader#bobby skeetz x reader#bobby skeetz#robert keating#inhaler oneshot#inhaler x reader#inhaler dublin#elijah hewson#ryan mcmahon#josh jenkinson
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are you okay?😭 you must be traumatized after yesterday's incident 😭 omg u deserve sm better than that man's dick
--🦇
TMI: me talking about sucking dick, substance use, making out and men (tw.)
i was going to post a silly story time but then i was like there is nothing more other than the fact he tried to finger me when i was dry, i sucked his gross ass dick, and also he used way too much tongue. I WAS SO FUCKING DRUNK I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHEN HE LEAD ME TO THE ROOM ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE WAS JUST ALL OF THE SUDDEN ON TOP OF ME DHHSAIAIUAGS. so embarrassing DO NOT DRINK ALDHOHOL FRIENDS
jokes aside i actually think it’s highkey funny. simply bc i was borderline blacked out drunk and i remember litterally just giggling into his neck and his thighs BYEEEEE. he was so nice tho and was like “why are you laughing so much?” and i couldn’t even explain to him. anyways it’s for the mello plot 💅💅
omg ALSO i ordered wings before hand and i kept whining about how i wanted my wings and he kept being like “ik we will get ur wings in a minute” and i prob asked like 10 times throughout it. my friend knocked on my door when i was giving him head to tell me my doordash was here and i was like a cartoon character the way i popped up from my knees. literally ran out the door while he was pulling his pants up. so i didn’t have to suck it for long 😭😔😭😭😭😭😭😭 blue balled him but idc. those wings were fire btw. i shared it with some other guy who i was high key chill with
throughout it i was only thinking: i want wings, i am so excited to tell my friends about this, ew he is using too much tongue, am i gay??, i want my wings, i’m so drunk rn, ow why is he trying to finger me i am not turned on at all, i wish i was sucking sukunas dick, this shit sucks ass, i wish i was eating wings rn. not once was i like “wow this is enjoyable!” LOLOLOL
there was a lot more but u guys dont care, but 5/10 experience but its really funny to think about my experience LMAO. do not drink alcohol everyone
#💌 - love letters#🦇 darling#yuuji or sukuna i wish it was ur dick#or nanami#kinda in my daddy nanami era#ALSO LMAOAAOAOAOAOA NOW THAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT I ALMOST GROPED THIS MOTHER FUCKERS ASS#HE HAD A FAT ASS I WAS DRAWN TO IT#ew but he was like groping my tips and ass#and i was like okay let’s chill a little bit#man was down desperate#ok this is tmi#i’m sorry
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Afraid- Ellie Williams (2)
Afraid- Ellie Williams (Part 2)
part 1 -> part 3
Summary: In Jackson now, there are still some issues with Ellie- you can´t forgive her because of what she´s done. But when Maria sends you two on patrol and Ellie´s behavior changes weirdly, things between you and her change too...
A/N: Ik this is probably so unrealistic that Ellie and Reader are like going to have a love story bc of what happened in part 1 but lets just pretend its not that weird and enjoy :) THIS IS LONGER FINALLY!!!! (pls repost or share, IT WOULD MEAN A LOT!) -> no use of Y/N
Chapter warnings: Mention(s) of death/guns/violence, past trauma, angst, panic attack(s), overall very angsty... Mention(s) of drug use and USING THEM- YUH. also a bit flirty (I hope)... find out for yourself hehe- (don´t do drugs kids pls this is just a story)
1 year later
"Stop it!" Those little annoying kids… never stopped being silly. Laughing, they threw themselves on the ground, exhausted from the snowball fight we just had.
I had been living in Jackson for some time, not knowing where to go after Liam died. Here, a few people had built a kind of village where everything worked well. I had found this place through Ellie, so- the murderer of Liam…. Ironic, isn't it? But she did owe me something. I still hadn't forgiven her, though. She had tried several times to have a fresh start with me by telling me about Joel, but I just wasn't ready for her stories yet.
Most of the time here, when I wasn't patrolling, I tried to avoid her as much as possible. Ellie didn't like that at all, because instead of talking to her, I spent time with Jesse and Dina. They are glad that I brought Ellie back to them, although that wasn't even my intention. After murdering Liam and seeing me so broken about that, she just magically figured that her revenge still didn't bring Joel back and she didn't feel any better.
It's nice here, I finally got to see a different side of the world. Tommy is like an uncle to me, but he's getting weaker and weaker…. since Joel's death, he's just not been the same anymore (according to Dina).
I would really like to know how everyone was before... before Joel died. Or what Joel himself was like. Well, maybe I will pay attention to Ellie's stories someday….
"Hey!" I turned around, only to face Ellie- well, great. "Are you coming to the bar? Maria wanted to talk to us…" I just nodded and headed out, not waiting for Ellie. Sure I was disappointed in her (yes, still am) but I also kind of enjoyed making her mad. This time (to my surprise) she didn't complain but just kept walking behind me.
Arriving in the bar, I looked around and immediately spotted Maria. She was sitting at the corner of the bar and was talking to Seth. "Maria!", I called out and waved at her as I sat down next to her. "Hello- where's Ellie?" she began before the brown haired girl sat down on the other side next to Maria. Funny- is SHE keeping some distance from ME now?!
"I wanted to talk to both of you. You have to go to patrol together tomorrow. I know it's not easy for you," she stared at me, "but this is for the best of all of us. So swallow your hatred for Ellie for once and come to terms with her- what happened in the past stays in the past and it can't be undone. You AND Ellie should be aware of that."
I sighed, Maria was right. I couldn't undo what had happened, and Ellie did have a reason somewhere…. Wait... WHAT? Am I trying to defend Ellie right now? Liam was my friend. And Ellie killed him.
I shook my head to escape from my thoughts. "Alright, but no talking," I told Ellie without looking at her. The only thing that came in response from her was a deflated sigh.
the next day
I was packing up my things for patrol when there was a knock on my door. Maria's voice was heard on the other side.
I was living in a cozy little room in a house with Maria and Tommy, since the only other house I could live in was Ellie's - so... out of question.
"Are you coming? Ellie is already waiting outside. Shimmer's ready." Shimmer? Didn't I get my own horse? Why would I have to share one with Ellie?! Outraged, I yanked open the door and glared at the woman in front of me. "Please calm down, there is a reason for everything. The other horses are too exhausted right now, it's just so cold outside." Well, that explained a lot, but still. Deep down, I suspected that Maria was only telling me half the truth….
Cold air burned my face as I stepped outside. It was really cold. Little snowflakes brushed my eyelashes and I had to blink. I shook my hand and slipped it into my jacket pockets, I was such an idiot for forgetting my gloves. Too lazy to turn back, I made my way to the stable… there I would wait for Ellie.
I had been standing here for ten minutes, in the cold, waiting. Where the hell was she! I was starting to get really angry. As if I didn't already hate her enough (or so I told myself), she had to be late too!
I flinched when someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind and turned around. Before I could look away, I was staring into a pair of green eyes. Ellie.
"Hey- I'm sorry I'm late, Tommy wanted to talk to me-" "Yeah, whatever-" I quickly interrupted her. Like I said, I didn't feel like talking to her. Apparently the girl remembered because she didn't say anything else.
She got the horse out of her stall and jumped upon her. "Are you coming too or what are you waiting for?" said Ellie as she held out her hand to me from above. I tried to ignore her help and get on top on my own, but I fell back again. "Why don't you accept my help for once-" I snorted indignantly but then accepted the offer, we were already way too late anyway.
When she pulled me up I let go of her hand as fast as I could, not willing to give her any kind of satisfaction. The only thing I heard was a soft laugh from Ellie, for whatever reason, but there we were already riding off.
*Two hours later*
We were riding past some kind of hut, hideout or cabin when Shimmer stopped. "We should go in here, the weather is getting worse", Ellie said.
Ellie Williams POV
*flashback*
I turned the glass in my hand, and realized what was inside. I held it under Dina's face, who responded with an "Oh, there we go". Looking at the contents again, I asked her, "You think it's still good?" Dina responded exactly as I thought she would. "Does weed go bad?" She was right. What was supposed to go bad about it, please?
With all my might I tried to open the glass, but- without success. Finally, my patience ran out and Dina's too, because she threw the jar hard on the floor and it broke.
I don't know where it ended, but we smoked the stuff and told each other the silliest stories until I noticed how my eyelids slowly fell shut.
*current day*
I looked around… It was all the way I remembered it from back then. I didn't know how I could go back to this place, when after the events here such bad things happened. I sat down on the sofa, which was all too familiar to me. I felt my hands start to shake. This had been a bad idea. But Shimmer was exhausted, and so was I.
Slowly tears formed in my eyes and my hands just wouldn't stop shaking. The blood was rushing through my veins and my back was freezing. No- not now- not here- not when she was in the next room-
Your POV
I didn't want to be with her, which is why we immediately went into different rooms after entering the cabin. I sat on a chair in front of a workbench, but it was pretty cold here…. Maybe I should check on Ellie after all? No- this was out of question. But a little company wouldn't hurt, would it? Without thinking about it any further, I swallowed the anger built up on myself down and went to check up on Ellie. Walking into the room where I suspected she was, I suddenly felt like I was in a fucking jungle or sum. Plants. Everything full of plants. But not just any plants…
"Yo, is this fucking weed?!", I shouted into the room. No answer. "Ellie, you there?" I walked past some of the plants and saw Ellie on a sofa, curled up. She had tears in her eyes and I could see her hands and legs shaking. Sweat was running down her forehead and she was mumbling some words to herself. "Ellie- fuck- Ellie are you okay?" Which was a pretty stupid question, because I could see which condition she was in after all.
I slowly moved closer and knelt down in front of her without thinking about it. This was also the reason for my next action as I gently placed my hand on her knee. "Hey- listen to me. Look at me," I said, hoping I could convince her. Slowly, the brown-haired girl raised her head and looked at me. Those green eyes- STOP. This situation was serious. "Now breathe. Slowly, in and out, I know you can do this Ellie, just listen to my voice." She nodded gently and began to breathe. Calmly I counted with her and noticed how her body kept relaxing.
A while later, Ellie still hadn't fully calmed down and I didn't know what to do… so I looked around a bit. It was probably a stupid idea- if not the stupidest idea somebody ever had- maybe Ellie would be outraged too- but it was worth a try.
I hadn't had any experience with panic attacks myself (thankfully) so I just hoped I wouldn't look like a stupid bitch after my suggestion.
"Do you want to smoke something? You know- so for the nerves," I said, trying to sound as cool as possible. Ellie nodded softly, staring at me with her eyes still full of tears. I bent down and picked up a small white cigarette from a table next to us, and dug in my pocket for a lighter. When I found it, I lit the tip of the cigarette.
I had never done this before. I only knew what it was, based on the stories Liam had always told me.
Carefully, I held the cigarette out to Ellie, unsure if I should take a drag myself. She took the white stub in her trembling hands and pulled hard on the tip.
Ellie Williams POV
I felt my muscles slowly relax more with each pull and my body stopped shaking. "Fuck me, I'm so high right now-" I said with a smile on my face. The girl who had this stupid idea to smoke some weed was now sitting next to me and smiling as well. "Yeah me too…" I could listen to her all day. I just wish we could have normal conversations too. But mostly (always) we just argued. I was glad that the influence of some weed made her forget her worries and hatred towards me. This may sound crazy, but I wish she could be high all the time. Then she would be unconcerned and not think about what I did. I sighed, my thoughts were almost sick.
your POV
I couldn't stop grinning. Fuck, this stuff was crazy. It only made me think about the girl next to me. Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie and El- "We should spend the night here, it'll be too dark to ride back otherwise," she said then. I nodded, but wondered if the others wouldn't worry? As if she could read my mind, Ellie said, "The others won't die of worry, it's happened before that I didn't come back at night." Would her argument make me forget my worries? No. But that weed did.
It was bad. A thousand thoughts buzzed in my head, all about her. No, not negative, POSITIVE thoughts. Interesting ones. I thought about her lips. How they would feel on mine. Her hands. Her beautiful hands… and her long fingers-
"Hey are you okay? You sorta zoned out right there," Ellie suddenly mentioned. As if on cue, she pulled me out of my trance and I looked deep into her green eyes. How beautiful she was. I hadn't realized it until now, how beautifully her brown hair fell into her face, how her chest moved calmly, how she fiddled nervously with her fingernails. Without a doubt, she was beautiful.
"You gotta stop looking at me like that babe, or we both won't get any sleep tonight-"
#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#the last of us 2#tlou x reader#tlou#tlou spoilers#the last of us#ellie x fem reader#last of us#sapphic#wlw#angst#ellie williams angst#fanfiction#fanfic#the last of us spoilers#the last of us part two
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people r like "i love batman and robin! sorry, dick grayson who?"
no sincerely anon it is BAFFLING to me that some fans refuse to acknowledge how important dick is not only to robin, but also to batman. i understand it can be tiring to hear over and over again how dick was the first and considered/is still considered the best to ever do it, but it’s TRUE. why? literally bc that’s what his character was created for. every iteration of robin after dick is an attempt to build off of his, somehow make it better or more original, but it can’t be done in a way that will ever substantiate people’s weird conceptions about who robin is/was the best. dick grayson as a character was designed to compliment, challenge, and change batman. he was given a similar origin story to bruce but was not given the time to develop into a brooding adult. a core part of dick’s character is hope and perseverance, and those characteristics are distinct and different from bruce’s own core parts because they were designed with the intention of child like hope and stubbornness. robin wasn’t even a character created very long after batman, dick grayson was introduced pretty early on into batman’s conception so it’s not a reach in any way to say that without dick grayson, batman would not be who he is at all. it is nearly impossible to read any batman story where he does not think of or mention dick in some way, and often it is with fondness and admiration for the way dick has grown into a better man than he
again ik it’s tiring and annoying to hear dick grayson fans like me harp on about the importance and prevalence of his character, but it’s not without reason! every iteration of robin since dick’s own has come built in with admiration and respect for him. all of them took on the role of robin fearing they’d never be able to live up to its name because it had such a massive level to rise to. jason, despite his short time as robin and knowing dick then, still looked up to dick. tim loved dick from the get go. there is no arguing who tim liked more because it was always dick’s robin that he aspired to. jason tried to kill him more than once when tim was robin, there was no room for tim to feel anything other than fear toward jason, even if he wondered about jason’s time as robin. there wasn’t enough time for jason to become any kind of role model before he was killed, so it’s not bashing on your fav to say it was always dick tim looked up to. it’s just true
#sorry to have rambled like this it just kind of sucks to see fanon continually create false character narratives#like what you are holding onto and loving is not real. you are dancing with someone who never existed#anon#ask
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MM Feedback Shared
(for those who wanted me to share the MM feedback, here we are!)
Thank you to everyone who shared feedback with me, really great stuff in here that I've taken notes and and will work to incorporate in the future edits of MM! 💙💙
Anon Feedback 1: MM feedback here☺️ it feel rude to me to like give you feedback because who am I but i sending one in because I love you and want to read a book from you😍
My absolute favourite scenes are the ones in the gallery, it’s so fucking beautiful and a perfect turning point in the story.
Another thing that I think someone already mentioned, I think there needs to be like more scene of Azriel with case and Rhys so it can like build his character more and we can connect to him even more than we did!
Love you!! Thank you for giving us place for giving you feedback and not like getting mad about it ❤️
Not rude at all! Especially because I asked for feedback! YES, LOVE LOVE LOVE the gallery scene, will def be keeping that around for the book and maybe brushing it up a little. I agree, more friendship things with Rhys and Cass, got it! Thank you for the feedback!! 💙
Anon Feedback 2: Following Midnight Muse feedback
First of all I just wanted to say that I loved the series with my whole heart, I probably read every chapter less than five minutes after it’s release and ATE it up every single time.
The only thing that felt somewhat off to me was the pacing, especially toward the end of the series. You did such a good job of making them dislike each other that it felt like they got together a bit too quickly and worked out all their issues a little too perfectly. I feel like for the final product I would have reader and Az apologize to each other a little earlier on the grounds of doing better for their friends. Maybe even have someone from the friend group make a bigger deal of the strain this war, about what in the grand scheme of things is not a big deal, is doing to their friendship as a whole. Similar to what Rhys did with Az. After that I would have things like the ride home scene little moments of them trying their best to find a common ground. Have them, begrudgingly, realize that they actually do kind of enjoy each other’s presence. After a tentative peace is managed THEN have them go to the gallery etc etc. You could even put in some healthy arguments, two people who were constantly at each others throats for months won’t suddenly agree on everything immediately just because they like each other, if you would like i personally would’ve liked to have seen them argue and then be like “we need to step away and rehash this calmer”.
Also this is a side note, I would’ve liked to have seen Az actually give reader the tattoo. I liked the choice to have it at the end but personally I was waiting for it all series and was a bit sad we didn’t get to read about it but maybe that was just me.
Ik once it’s a book you’ll have more time to further flesh out things, and I truly did LOVE reading along. You’re a fantastic writer and I hope this doesn’t come across as overly critical bc that is not my intent. Looking forward to what this project will become ❤️
Good call, I will def work on the pacing. I think I felt a bit rushed and also I was like like how do I write them together when all I know is to write them disliking each other 😅 that was definitely tough for me so i will work on that! Everything you said is such great feedback, thank you so so much for sending me your thoughts! I'm excited to work on it some more and hopefully put out a great piece of work!
Anon Feedback 3: I think if you're looking to publish MM, it needs more of a plot - and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just feel like there weren't really any stakes besides the main characters getting together. You had interesting ideas, like introducing the father as a potential problem, but that didn't really go anywhrre. You could really dig into your MMC overcoming his trauma, however that looks in a published version, and the FMC overcoming her insecurity - which was kind of hinted at but never explored and when it was resolved, I felt like it didn't really...matter much. Like it wasn't relevant as much to the plot? I would encourage you to explore more, dig deeper, figure out a problem or two for them to overcome. As fanfic, I really liked it, for whatever that's worth.
I totally agree with you. I mentioned her imposter syndrome but it was definitely something backseat to their relationship. Will def be fixing that and brining in their family dynamics as well. Thanks!
Anon Feedback 4: ahh it’s my first time sending one of these i’m nervous😬😬(response to this) but OH MY GOD i ADOREDDD midnight muse, i very rarely read series when i read on here but i honestly used to refresh your blog nearly every day looking forward to new chapters your writing is honestly amazing, if you go ahead with this and release it as a book im going to end up with about 10 copies honestly😭😭🤍– it’s very very hard to think of criticisms of this series because of how much i honestly adored it, but if it had to have any id ask for maybe more detail regarding azriel’s family and what exactly happened with his dad buying the apartments, and everyone’s reactions to that. i honestly think you should ofc do what you love with it, judging by the fact you’re making it into a book and also as a reader, i feel like you can really tell that it was something you enjoyed to write and i feel like that made it even more special to read ??? id love to see that come through in the book so please don’t make any changes that you’re not going to enjoy writing🤍🤍and also the whole few parts where he takes her to the art gallery and she sees all of his drawings was just so unbelievably perfect i’d love it if you could keep that the same – overall it was an AMAZING read, if midnight muse has one fan it is me if it has none i am dead, if you turn this into a book i just know it would be so special
i hope this was helpful and thank you for being an amazing author !!!🤍🤍🤍
First of all, thank you so so much for the support! It was so much fun and I was with the rest of you, anticipating the next part as if I wasn't the one writing it lol. Yeah, I thought of his dad being a more of a problem later on and it definitely shows, so I will be working on that more during the rewrite process. very excited to explore their personal lives more! This was very helpful, thank you so much for sending me feedback!! 💙
Anon Feedback 5: Hi! I loved Midnight Muse and started reading it when you first posted so my feedback might actually not be amazing for the earlier chapters but I defo agree with the father/az comment on your post and I'm sure your plan is to expand on Cassian/Lucien's personal issues but that would be welcomed as well I think!!
Also - and this is a very personal note, but maybe you could make the Az/Reader storyline extend a bit (maybe utilising the father storyline to make it go up and down again) I always love reading about characters' romances after they get together properly as I'm a sucker for an established relationship fic (which is why I like to read fan fictions when books end too soon for my liking😂)
Regardless - even if you made zero changes the book would be amazing because I genuinely really loved it!
For sure for az's family relationships, those will be flsuhed out and explored more. For cass and luc I was trying to allude/create anticipation for their own stories because in my ideal world it would be a four book series haha ("az," "rhys," "cass," and then "luc"), but i can definitely work on those more, give them better structure and not keep everything super secret for them! Ugh, i know, i could've written so much more for them too, so obsessed with this. thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it!
Anon Feedback 6: With the midnight muse feedback personally I found their relationship a bit faked if that makes sense? I feel like he just asked her out and then suddenly it was like they knew eachother forever. Almost like you were rushing their relationship? At points I was like mate you don’t know eachother but other than that it was pretty good and I loved it!
Yeah, this is for sure good feedback to have. their relationship really did do a 180 in the span of a chapter, so i will work on them gradually finding middle ground and then having their feelings come across more natural! Thank you!!
Thank you so much to everyone who sent feedback!! I really appreciate you all so much!! 💙💙
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hello okay i've seen you reblog 4433 posts so this is my invite for you to go fully incoherent rambling about why you love 4433 pretty please?
okay so i sure as hell ain't a vet but i Am intrigued invested enamored hopelessly sinking and it goes like This:
ONE. racer4racer ruthless4ruthless champion4champion. yall heard lewis talk about booing?? it just fuels me 💪💪. yall heard max? i'll just take my trophy home and they can have a nice evening ☺️. the objective energies are a SPECTRUM apart. but then you look a little deeper and Yeah, that's. thats a champion there and champion there.
alexa play monza 2021 silverstone 2021 jeddah 2021 interlagos 2022. in other words: racing other people?? yeah, fine. Can Do, no Problemo. racing each other? explosion Noises.
i.e. u know the phrase Opposites Attract? well. Yeah . onto
TWO. Opposites! e.g. Agendas (for lack of a better word.) max will kneel, will speak when spoken to. but give that kid the choice and he aint sayin a word. he is there to Race and have Laffs why u askin me about my political stance on cheese 🙄😒. lewis on the other more vocal hand Will Speak Out. prbly maybe it traces back to their childhoods, but im not getting into that Particular thing bc its too heavy for this and im not about to make it into a joke, So. yeah, the way they view their own Purpose within fame, the way max Wouldnt bc he thinks hes too small, insignificant in worldwide change, doesnt believe he can do Much for those larger social issues, then lewis doing so many things bc he might not alter the globe singlehandedly but he wants to be part of that smth Bigger. and no that is Not me saying max doesnt have a heart or doesnt want to help bc we've seen him raise donations and be Kind and condemn people for their shitiness. i just think, Opposites.
keeping with the seriousness: yall ever seen max wear smth not white and jeaned other than his racesuit and swim trunks?? MAYBE i can give him the singular fucking bowtie. lewis? ur catchin him suckin of the w14 before u catch him in that shit (Affectionate).
and to their hearts: both of them, who race to win, to be the fastest, to take home the trophy, to feed that fire as it burns on the track, to make their fathers proud. and then: lewis, who lives with faith, who races with God, who want to break records. max, who lives against superstition, who races with gut, who wants to rest. so Yeah. Opposites.
nYway,
THREE. i realize i havent actually touched much on their actual Dynamic HEE, so like. theyre fukin . miscroscope-worthy. in that they should be Studied. intently. i Cant with the whole, the whole Thing they have like. yeah no theyre not Best Buds or anythin but they Have been amicable. acquaintances. Rivals. and there is no fucking way im feeling Nuthin about two men racing with the Sole Focus of beating the other. first, thats 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈YYY!!! second, that is Everything. who tf is feeling what either of them are feeling going into abu dhabi 21. who Else is putting down his visor knowing its Make or Break. who else is sinking into their cockpit pulling up at the starting line exhaling into their helmet as they watch the lights go out knowing its Now. its there, for Me or Him. its pinned in the center of Us right in the middle, could tip either way. who else, if not each other???? who ELSE I ASK!! also when tf did it happen before that two f1 title rivals went into the final race on equal points??? once?? idk but the Point is, theres two fuckin people (or close to) in the entire World who've been There, only one person who knows how you couldve truly Felt in ur Soul, hands on the steering wheel foot on the gas, has felt it too and hes sitting to ur left, takin a fuckin selfie of u both like sum social media Diva. smfh.
FOUR! they Actually get along???? like ik to some poople theyre tryna Kill each other 25/8 but dawg i think about tom sharing that lil story abt max asking lewis about his hair all the fucking Time its so Unhealthy i need More. n less often but still deserves Stage Time: lewis saying This Guy, this Fucking guy, and max calling him out on it right there on the podium. lewis showing max shit on his phone, makin him goddamn Giggle. the two of them just Joking Around, idk i think its Sweet. that they Can be okay, yknow, even with all the head to head (head 👀) shit they drove each other to in 21.
FIVE: the misc things! i.e. theyre no1s theyve both fucking Dominated the field. who else has on the current grid, i hear? No Fucking one. only Them. i.e. i think there is so much Potential. ik theyre so Different almost polar arctic antarctic north south but it warms my heart sm when theyre together Because of that. i.e. ik this post doesnt read quite so Shippy as it couldve but idk they make me feel More than that in a way bc theyre just so. Apart. and when they come together, it feels Monumental. plus the absolute Dawg the Cunt the 🧎🧎🧎 they can fit into a single photo:
.
Yeah .
#if u had ur head in the gutter with one of those last sentences get it Out#xiao: waffle#waffle: mv1.lh44#zhalia my beloved#3344#4433#Anyway . time to go Life#theres prbly More btw but i just#haha cant Think
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Hi again!! Ik it's too soon but cedric ×reader fic where shes the shy castle librarian and cedric makes frequent unnecessary visits just to see her bcs she hardly ever goes out? And obv the royal family notices this and starts teasing tf out of cedric to the point he stops visiting her bcs hes a petty mf but she thinks she did something wrong so she visits him at his workshop one day and is all shy and boom! Confession!!!! Thanksss
Thank u sm for another ask!! It feels amazing to have people here in the year of our lord 2023 who still love Cedric.
I apologize for the ask being late, the night I was practically done with it my phone powered down and I made the mistake of not saving my drafts :')
Also your ideas are so gosh darn cute, please keep sending in asks when u can <3
I know this isn't explicitly part of the ask, but I wanted to include the library!reader's first ever introduction to Cedric bc the idea is stuck in my brain and I must write it out, lest my brain be consumed by rot.
Enjoy!!
Cedric x Shy! Librarian Reader~
"Oh, come on.... Please!" You begged, fingers barely touching the spine of the books you need. Against your better judgement, you stand on your tiptoes to give you an extra inch or so for your prize. Your fingertips made contact with the dusty leather binding of the book, and you let out a squeal of joy.
However, the dusty coating of the neglected book made it hard to maintain a decent grip. As you struggle, however, you almost don't notice the way the ladder begins to lean backwards.
With your heart catching into your throat, you rest your body weight firmly against the ladder again. You feel the ladder shake from the sudden movement, but it finally rests "securely" on the tall bookshelf.
Biting your lip out of frustration, you slump against the rickety ladder in a defeated groan.
How am I supposed to reorganize and archive these ancient tomes if I can't even reach them? You grumbled internally, your eyes gazing along the multiple shelves of books you need to work on.
"Well... I suppose I'll just have to find a longer, more stable ladder elsewhere." You sighed, beginning your descent. You get about a quarter of the way down when suddenly you hear a loud snap! as you rest your foot on the next step.
Letting out a silent scream, your grip tightens on the splintered wood before you lose your balance. Your breathing turns ragged, and your heart crashes against your ribcage in fright. You shakily take deep breaths, counting numbers in your head until you've calmed down a little.
After gaining a semblance of composure, you try to think of what to do. However, you quickly deduce that you have no other options; you have to make an effort to climb down.
Cursing to yourself, you attempt to place your foot onto the next step. You try to stretch your dangling leg towards the foothold, but your hip creaks in protest. Letting out another curse of frustration, you ignore the pain and just focus on where you're trying to reach.
In this futile effort, you once again don't notice the subtle way the ladder begins to slide from its place. You feel a shift in momentum as you feel the ladder begin to buckle underneath your body.
This time, you let out a strangled cry as you realize you're about to hit marble flooring from at least a few stories high. You close your eyes as you scream, fully prepared to accept whatever fate lies at the end of your fall.
"I've got you...!" A voice cried out from your right, and you feel a jolt as your body stops mid air. You feel an intense wave of vertigo hit you from the sudden change in momentum, but you manage to force your eyes open.
Below you, the ladder lies ruined in pieces. Your stomach churns as you realize that could've been your fate as well. You swallow hard, thanking your lucky starts someone rescued yo-
Wait.
Panic rushes through your veins again as you realize you're hovering mid air. You dart your head around anxiously looking for the source of your plight. With blurred vision, you see a person in dark purple clothing standing to your right.
Making eye contact, the person speaks again.
"A-a-are you okay? Ar-Are you hurt anywhere?!" The male voice called to you, anxiety racking his voice.
"I think I'm fine...! But, can you put me down, please?" You respond, eager to feel solid ground again.
"Right, o-of course!" The man replies, and with a wave of his hand you feel a force slowly making you descend until your feet touch the ground.
Whatever force that enveloped your body moments ago leaves, and so too does your composure. Your knees wobble, and as you take a step forward you tumble to the floor in shock. You let out a small noise of surprise, and suddenly tears are already falling from your eyes.
Your rescuer scrambles to your aid, slender gloved hands reaching out for you. You keep your eyes glued to the floor, too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
"Are you sure you're alright? I can take you to the royal infirmary, it's-"
"I'm fine."
You choke out, your voice coming off more harsh than you intended. You see the man shrink away from you in your peripheral vision, and you feel a pang of regret strike through your heart.
"I-I mean. Thank you, but I'm okay. I'm sorry, I was just... shaken up." Your voice wobbles as if to prove your point, and you pull your arms closer to your chest in shame. You wish you could just disappear in this very moment.
Tears rise again like the tide, but you will them not to fall. You bite your lip, your eyes tracing the marble pattern on the floor to ground yourself.
"Right, of course... My apologies." The man shuffled awkwardly in place, unsure of how to approach you. He didn't want to leave you alone until he was sure you were okay, but he wasn't sure if he was really helping by staying either.
His eyes shift nervously, landing on the heaping pile of splintered wood that once was a ladder. He turned, sighing in resignation as he muttered a spell to clean the mess and rearrange the fallen books.
You watch wordlessly as the sorcerer cleans up, and without thought you feel yourself springing to your feet. You rush to join his side, the blood rushing to your ears.
"Oh, you don't have to do that... It's my mess, after all!" You reassure the sorcerer, holding up your hand in protest.
"Oh, nonsense." The sorcerer waves you off, shaking his head. "If anything, this is the King's mess for leaving it neglected for so long." Rolling his eye, the man clicked his tongue in disapproval.
"This old library was quite the mess long before you; and without a proper librarian, it'll only get worse."
The sorcerer sighed again, dusting off another book before putting it back into its proper resting place.
You smile at the man's care for the forgotten books, your heart melting just a touch. Seeing this as a perfect opportunity to properly introduce yourself, you speak.
"Well, I sure hope it won't come to that. I have more than enough work on my hands already." You chuckle to yourself, bending down to grab the last book on the floor.
"Wait- what?" The man exclaimed as you rose with the book in your hand.
You turn to meet the sorcerer's widened eyes.
"I'm the new Royal Librarian. My name's (y/n)." You smile awkwardly, hugging the book to your chest. You watch Cedric's bright brown eyes swim with surprise, but a smile quickly blooms on his face.
"I'm Cedric; royal sorcerer of Enchancia. It's a pleasure to meet you, (y/n)." Cedric replies, dipping his head to bow respectfully towards you.
"The pleasure is mine, Cedric." You reply graciously, responding with a curtsy.
If we hadn't met today... I don't even want to think about what could've happened to me. You think somberly, your eyes softening as you took in Cedric bowing before you.
Silently, you thank your lucky stars for your chance meeting today; and a tiny seed of hope is sowed within that you'll meet again.
Cedric rises to meet your gaze, and you flash him a genuine smile.
Cedric pauses for a moment, taken aback; slowly, he returns the gesture with a shy smile of his own. It makes his whole face soften, and you feel something stir deep within.
As your smile fades, you take a moment to get a good look at the sorceror.
The last rays of the setting sun reach through the window nearby, casting Cedric in a heavenly rim light. His silvery bangs create a halo around him, with ebony hair neatly combed back. His skin was noticeably fair, with darkened eye bags to contrast against it. You can relate to many sleepless nights yourself, so you find it quite endearing.
His eyes were the color of mahogany, and with the sun peeking from his hair they shone like pools of liquid amber. His face was made up of all sharp edges and angles, but remembering that soft and sweet smile he gave made your skin feel like electricity.
You both soon realized you were staring for a second too long, so you clumsily looked down at your feet in embarrassment.
Cedric fidgets with his robe sleeve, his eyes shifting around the room. After a minute of you both regaining your composure, Cedric speaks.
"You know, you should talk to King Roland about the uh... Incident, today." Cedric scratches his neck awkwardly.
"I-I'm sure if we catch him now, he'll have new equipment for you by this time tomorrow!" Cedric exclaimed, his brows raised in delight.
"But we must be quick about it- once supper comes around he is very hard to find." Cedric mutters to himself, tapping his chin.
He turns his attention to you expectantly, waiting for an answer. His eyes held a conviction you didn't notice until now, and your heart melted just a tad at his thoughtfulness.
You look at the now darkening sky, realizing you do indeed need to be quick.
A part of you just wanted to crawl in bed and forget that today even happened, but you also knew if you didn't get it done now then you'd procrastinate on it until the problem got exponentially worse.
With your decision made, you nod to Cedric in agreement.
"Okay, let's not waste any more time." Your eyes lock onto Cedric's and he gives you a confident nod.
"I like the way you think, my dear. Follow me, if you please." Cedric purred, turning and walking briskly to the entrance doors. Your stomach did a flip from him calling you 'dear', but you couldn't process much before Cedric was already ten paces ahead.
You hurriedly follow along, thankful for his company so you wouldn't have to confront the King alone. You realize you should probably verbalize your gratitude.
"Thank you, Cedric, for joining me to speak with his Majesty. I honestly feel pretty nervous." You say in a small voice, keeping your eyes trained ahead of you.
"Don't worry- King Roland is very adamant about his people's safety. I can't see a reason he'd do nothing about your plight." Cedric replied, his voice confident and holding a tinge of pride for his King.
You feel a little more at ease, and continue walking with your unlikely friend.
You're time in Enchancia was already shaping up to be an interesting one.
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Time Skip Time!~
Let's set the stage <1 year after your initial meeting. I'll do a brief summary of the events that lead to your current day friendship.
After that fateful night, Cedric had made it a point to routinely visit you in the library to perform 'maintenance inspections' on the new ladders installed in the old library. At first, you really were convinced he was a concerned acquaintance- Cedric did witness you almost fall to your death, after all. So you thought some extra precautions weren't much to think about.
However, as the weeks went on, you started to notice Cedric lingering around more. As reading is part of his profession, once again you didn't want to jump to any conclusions- even though in your heart of hearts, you knew Cedric was mainly visiting the library to see you.
Regardless, you had no complaints.
You found out you enjoyed the company, and chatting about your favorite books with Cedric quickly became ingrained into your weekly routine.
Your chats about books slowly became more in depth exchanges, and Cedric's visits transformed into easygoing whole day hangouts; sometimes you two would talk for hours, and other times Cedric would silently assist in your work around the dilapidated library.
His presence was such a common occurrence, you would have castle staff or members of the royal family who would pop in ask if Cedric was with you.
Your eyes shift towards the clock behind you- Cedric should be here any minute. You pick up another book from the stack beside you, hurriedly scanning its contents so you can organize it properly.
You quickly realize in your hurried state this was the book Cedric first recommended to you. It was a fascinating read for sure, and it was shockingly easy to follow even though your magic knowledge was little to none at the time.
You sigh fondly, tucking the book away within arms reach. You try to reach for another book in the pile that needed organizing, but the giddiness of Cedric's arrival was making it hard for you to concentrate.
After a few fruitless attempts to push through, you quickly abandon your work in favor of rereading the book you previously tucked away.
You figure that you could get away with a quick chapter or two before Cedric arrives, so you lay back in your chair with a huff of contentment.
As the minutes tick on by, you realize you're almost on to chapter four, with Cedric nowhere in sight. You feel a seed of unease plant within you, but you give him the benefit of the doubt.
You manage to coax your concentration back to your book, but not without glancing up at the entrance hall every couple of paragraphs.
In the time it has taken you to finish chapter four, Cedric was still MIA.
This worries you. Cedric is an annoyingly punctual man who sticks to his plans very deliberately, unless an important matter comes up. Even so, he would at least stop by to let you know what was happening. Not once in knowing the sorcerer has he ever been this late before, in the already rare instances he was late at all.
You glance worriedly at the large oak doors that led to the outside, your brow creasing with your growing anxiety. Your eyes fall back onto your book, and suddenly the words on the pages all become blurry.
You blink rapidly to regain your focus, but you struggle to maintain it. You writhe uncomfortably in your seat as the worst possible outcomes start shuffling through your mind.
What if he had an accident with his potions? Was he hurt? Was someone else hurt? The questions blazed through you like wildfire, and you feel yourself start to sweat.
Something isn't right, but admitting it felt even more terrifying. You shake your head, trying to block out more doubts about Cedric's safety.
Whatever has happened today, there must be a good explanation. You nodded your head in affirmation, ignoring your gut feeling of wrongness; surely, he would show up tomorrow and you would both laugh about it- whatever "it" was that was holding him up from seeing you.
Your decision to put your faith in Cedric was now made; now the next daunting task was to find something that would adequately distract you until tomorrow.
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Quick POV change to Cedric!
His hand rested on the door knob leading to your dusty sanctum, his stomach churning. Cedric sighs bitterly, the mere thought of one more person asking about (y/n) making his blood pressure rise.
That's exactly why he liked being around you in the first place; it was the few reprieves he had in this castle, no- his life, really. His job was always that of constant strain and humiliation, up until recently. He still wasn't quite used to the newfound respect and acknowledgement, so Cedric wanted nothing more than a place to hide when he was overwhelmed.
But instead of finding a mere hiding spot, he found true solace in your company. Hours felt like minutes, and he truly never felt like none of it was enough time with you.
Yet, it seems like everyone says the opposite- it's all he ever hears from anyyone who's in the same room with him. Even Sofia had started asking incessantly about you! That's when his breaking point was reached.
Cedric sighs in defeat, his head resting against the sturdy double doors to the library. The words Roland said yesterday flashed through his mind:
"C'mon Cedric, you need to tell her how you feel! At this rate everyone except her knows..." Roland laughs, clapping Cedric heartily on the back.
"Your Majesty... May I speak freely?" Cedric asks through gritted teeth, his tight smile feeling more like a grimace.
"Well of course, old friend. Although, I have an idea of what you might say." Roland chuckles, leaning onto the rail of Cedric's terrace.
Cedric huffed in frustration, trying to find out how to word "leave me the hell alone" in a less insulting way. He pinches the bridge of his nose in concentration, trying to regulate his emotions.
A beat of silence passes, then Cedric looks Roland square in the face.
"You manage this kingdom; not my... lo-love life." Cedric cringed as he forced himself to indirectly admit, out loud, his feelings for you; to King Roland, no less. His oldest friend and once greatest enemy.
Roland however, was eating up Cedric's struggle with expressing his feelings. A raised brow was Roland's only response, so Cedric continues.
"I don't need your kingly advice as much as you think I do. So, don't speak to me about (y/n). I will ignore you." Cedric finished in his most confident voice, shooting his friend daggers with his eyes.
"I see, then. Alright, from now on my lips are sealed!" Roland motions a lock and key at the corner of his mouth, and Cedric hums in approval. With the conversation now at a close, they turned back to the view from Cedric's tower.
They both stand in the sun in a moment of peace, both silently watching the sky in their own thoughts. Roland finally turns to Cedric, a peculiar look in his eye that Cedric can't nail down.
"Can I give you a word of advice- not as a king, but as a friend?" Roland asks quietly, the characteristic confidence he carried now replaced with hesitation.
Cedric stared at the ground as he weighed his answer, but eventually he nodded in agreement.
"In matters like these... Waiting for the right moment leads to you losing your chance at all."
Cedric feels his heart drop, and grips the ledge of his balcony until the metal digs through his thick leather gloves.
"I truly do believe you should go for it... I mean, you really have nothing to lose here!" Roland exclaims, a loud laugh leaving him.
Cedric turns to Roland with narrowed eyes.
"What do you mean by that?" Cedric asks defensively, crossing his robed arms around him.
Roland scoffs at the lanky sorcerer in a mix of shock and exasperation. His eyebrows shot up as he stared at Cedric, brow crinkling in disbelief.
"You're hopeless, that's what I meant." Roland shoots back, shaking his head with a weary sigh.
Cedric deflated at the comment, but had nothing to say in response because they both knew it was true.
Now, Cedric stands idly by as he battles within himself to not open your doors. His skin itches from the pent up anxious energy within him, and his mouth feels dry as ash.
"I promise, I'll be back within a week- Just enough time for this gossip to subside. Thankfully, rumors around here seem to change with the tide." Cedric murmurs to the door in front of him, wishing that he was talking to you instead.
A toxic mixture of dread and guilt swirls in his stomach, making him feel sick. He pries his hand from the door knob, slowly backing away from it.
With the last of his resolve, he sharply turns and dashes towards his tower. He already felt winded from the sudden change of pace, but feared that he would turn back if he didn't keep moving.
Finally after trudging up his staircase in exhaustion, Cedric flops on his mattress with a breathless sigh.
Running his hands through his hair in anguish, Cedric stares up at his ceiling in a daze.
"This is going to be the hellish week of my life." Cedric whispered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.
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Back to your POV! Promise this is the last pov switch, I hope it wasn't too much!
A week went on since the last day you've seen Cedric. The anxiety had been consuming you from the inside out, and increasingly lost sleep was starting to make you a bit paranoid.
Whenever you left your library, your ears would prick up whenever you'd think you would hear his name. You'd crane your neck to catch the gossip of servants and royals alike, trying to not look too obvious.
You had deduced that nothing bad had happened to the sorcerer, and in fact it sounded like he was doing well. But strangely enough, you couldn't find him anywhere you'd look.
With a heavy sigh, you knew that to figure out what was going on, you'd have to be alot more direct than you'd like.
Showing up to Cedric's workshop was the very last plan on your long list of ideas, but this was the only option you had left.
You have gone to Cedric's workshop a couple times, but the idea of going up to his dwelling uninvited and confronting him made you feel viscerally ill. Even so, just waiting in that decrepit library doing nothing but waiting was already wearing thin on your mental and physical health.
Nearing the library's entrance doors, you reach for the knob. Suddenly, the door creaks open from the opposite side. Your heart leaps in your throat as you let out a strangled cry of surprise.
Stumbling backwards, all your mind can go to is the hope that it was Cedric.
However, the flash bright pink and purple satin quickly demolished your hope. The youngest princess of the royal line, Sofia, was staring just as flabbergasted as you from the outside.
The princess recovers first, bowing in apology for scaring you.
"I'm so sorry, (y/n). I didn't know you were there... But it's nice to see you again!" Sophia said cheerily, flashing you a kind smile.
"Y-yes, you too, Princess." You stammer, quickly bowing in respect towards the young teen.
"How can I help you today?" You ask hesitantly, eager to get the princess out of your hair asap.
"Oh, well, I just needed a few books for my homework assignment." Sophia responds plainly, shrugging her shoulders casually.
You resist the urge to sigh in frustration, your focus going towards keeping your tone and facial muscles neutral.
"Are you sure you don't want to use the main library...? I'm afraid the books here are fragile, and many are... Outdated." You glance back at the maelstrom of neglected books behind you in emphasis, hoping the princess will take the hint.
"Oh, that's okay! That's exactly what I'm looking for, actually." Sophia responds sweetly, making her way into the library.
Her heels click softly against the marble flooring, her brightly colored dress giving the dreary place a touch of life.
Seeing her standing there suddenly gives you an idea. Before the princess can wander any further, you call out her name.
"Princess Sophia! Can you help me with what I'm looking for?" You gush quickly, your heart hammering against your rib cage.
Sophia looks at you puzzled, but agrees with a quick "mmm hm!".
"Do you know where Cedric is right now?" You ask tentatively, your body breaking out into a sweat.
"Oh! I just left Cedric's workshop. He should still be there." Sophia stated, tapping her chin thoughtfully.
"He even recommended I come see you for the books I'm looking for!" Sophia replies with a cheeky grin, her eyes bright.
"I... I see. Thank you, Princess Sophia. I'll be back shortly after I speak with him." You turn your back before you can hear her reply, bursting through the heavy doors and out into the hallway.
You stand there, processing the information just gleaned from Sophia. If Cedric wasn't hurt, wasn't busy, wasn't away from the castle on an assignment, then there was only one possible reason for his absence.
You.
Your stomach does flips as the realization crashes down on you. Before losing your nerve, your body begins moving of its own volition towards Cedric's tower.
Ascending the staircase leading up to his door, each step brought you closer to a full blown panic attack. You stop to catch your breath, leaning your body against the cool stone wall beside you.
After collecting yourself as meagerly as you could, you stand in front of Cedric's door. With a gulp, you timidly knock on his door.
A few moments pass before you hear familiar foot falls from the other side. Filled with trepidation, you stare at your feet as you hear the door open.
You glance up at widened amber eyes, Cedric standing completely slack jawed at your presence. In any other scenario you would have found it cute, but now it just confirmed your earlier suspicion.
"Hi," you begin, awkwardly waving at Cedric. "It's been a while, yeah?"
Cedric sputters out something in response, but it's so jumbled you aren't sure exactly what was said. You look on in confusion, your heart cracking at a dangerous pace.
"(y/n)... I... I didn't expect to see you." Cedric finally responded, his entire body tense.
"Yes, I did come by unannounced. But I was worried about you- you've been gone for a week." You say bitterly, your fists clenched tightly at your sides.
Your eyes bore into Cedric's for answers, but he shies away with a shameful look written all over his face.
"I know. If you'd like to ah- come in, I can explain everything." Cedric offers, his eyes meeting yours again; this time, there was a desperate pleading look in them that simultaneously made you cave and scared the hell out of you.
With a silent nod, you enter his workshop. The place hasn't changed the last time since you visited, and you sigh in relief at the one familiar sight.
"Would you like some tea? I had-" Cedric gets cut off harshly by your words, shaking your head violently.
"No, Cedric. Just answers, please." You say curtly, wrapping your arms around yourself.
"Right." Cedric slumped, fidgeting with his robe sleeves. You knew that meant he was nervous, but you still kept your guard up for whatever he had to tell you.
"Have you been hearing what anyone has been... Saying lately, about us?" Cedric asks you meekly, his eyes shifty.
"What?" You ask in confusion, the question throwing you off.
"Has anyone been alluding to.. you know..." Cedric gestures his hand towards you, a shade of red overtaking his ears. You feel butterflies flutter in your gut, but you felt too nervous to confirm if you were correct as to what he was alluding to.
You both stand in suffocating silence, your own skin starting to match Cedric's reddened ears.
Cedric coughs, breaking the tension in the room.
"Well, there's been people constantly asking me about you- I mean, us, I suppose." Cedric choked out a self conscious laugh, wringing his hands together.
Everyone has been talking for weeks about if we're... courting." Cedric squeaked out, almost wincing as he said it. "Or when we will be, is more accurate I guess." He added quickly, his voice small.
"I don't understand why that's relevant for why you disappeared on me." You say flatly, your eyes catching his.
You both stare at each other for a moment; you weren't even sure there was a word to describe what you were feeling; and you knew of many. Cedric had an equally complicated look etched on his face, and he sighs while running a hand through his silver bangs.
"I... It's-" Cedric huffs again, turning away from you as you see him rub his eyes in frustration.
Seeing Cedric turn away from you so easily triggered something within you. The long week of being worried, angry, heartbroken, sleep deprived over a man who just seemed to fall off the face of the earth on a whim made you feel like you were spiraling fast into the abyss.
At this rate, your heart that was barely keeping it together now feels like it's being cruelly ripped apart from the seams. A flash of icy pinpricks makes your whole body shiver, and without thinking your voice cuts through the room.
"Is the idea of it that shameful to you? That you can't even look at me?" Your voice breaks, mirroring the brokenness of your heart within you. As the words leave your mouth, you instantly regret them; but even so, you felt like you were compelled to have an answer.
"What..? No!" Cedric whips back towards you, bridging the gap between you in an instant. You go to step away, but Cedric nimbly caught your arms and squeezed them tightly in his hands.
What once only seemed like a dream to be held like this by Cedric, now felt like a nightmare. A lump quickly forms in your throat from the contact, making you go mute. Your eyes are fixed to the floor, and you feel physically unable to look at Cedric anymore.
"(y/n), please don't ever think that to be the truth. I promise you, it couldn't be more opposite...!" Cedric pleads with you, his own voice wavering.
You shake your head in protest, your throat still closed off from speaking. Your eyes started to sting, but you bit down on the inside of your cheek to distract you from the tears forming in the back of your eyes.
Cedric begins to panic as he realizes you are about to shut down completely. He knew that whatever he said next, would determine whether or not any semblance of your relationship could be saved from his stupidity.
"I know what I did was wrong- I'll never deny that. I was stupid, and arrogant, and careless. My ego has always been my biggest flaw, and it seems I never quite learn my lesson when it comes down to it." Cedric spoke swiftly, fighting to keep his voice steady.
You swallowed hard, but still said nothing. You exhale a shaky breath, and against your frozen bodily state you will your eyes to slowly meet Cedric's.
They were slightly bloodshot now, his pupils blown out to max capacity.
"I promise you, (y/n), I have no shame about how much I love you." Cedric proclaimed breathlessly, his breathing ragged. Yet, his tone was clear and steady, and in his eyes you found nothing but truth and a blazing conviction that set you on fire.
The lump in your throat finally began to dissolve, and with a croaky voice you respond.
"Then why did you leave?" You murmured quietly, your hands bunching up in the plum color silk of Cedric's robe.
Cedric lets out a painful sigh. "I suppose in everyone else's mind, they were just trying to help me. But it began to feel like everyone was just turning my feelings for you into a joke. I couldn't leave my workshop without servants giggling under their breath, or the royals trying to ask me questions about you to add fuel to the rumors." Cedric scowled, his face pinched in anger.
You go to open your mouth to speak, but Cedric continues on.
"At first, I did try to ignore it. But it was like no matter who I turned to, they'd inevitably bring it up. It felt like I was being watched, constantly; and I didn't want me, or especially you, to be anyone's spectacle." Cedric's eyes lock with yours, silently begging for your understanding. You could feel his body trembling from underneath his robe, and his usually slouched posture seemed even more tightly bound.
You feel the remnants of your anger leave you, now replaced with empathy for the man in front of you. Your hands gently release from their grip on his sleeves, and Cedric follows your movement. You see his eyes begin to fill with panic, so you rush to take his hands into yours.
His fingers felt clammy and ice cold to the touch; regardless, you squeeze his hands tightly to share your warmth. His eyes search your face in confusion, but a flicker of hope brings the light back to his amber orbs.
"I don't know if I can forgive you just yet," you begin, shooting Cedric an almost apologetic look.
"I'm surprised that the option is still on the table..." Cedric mutters darkly, shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, I'd... Rather process everything first, before we would make our courtship official." You say slowly, a small smile blooming across your cheeks.
Cedric stops, his breath catching in his throat. A choked sound escapes him, a broken smile of his own pushing through the disbelief on his face.
"...Are you sure?" Cedric finally asks, his face full of worry.
"I've been sure for about a year now, yes." You reply with a smirk, giving Cedric a knowing look.
"I... I feel so undeserving of your grace. It doesn't feel like it should be this easy." Cedric confesses, his expression heavy with shame and fear as the realization settled in that you returned his feelings.
"Well... It won't be. Not any relationship is. But if this is going to work, you need to tell me when things are bothering you. Not avoid me on a whim." You say sternly, catching Cedric's chin to make him look at you fully.
"Ye-yes, of course. Consider that lesson learned." Cedric chuckled dryly, looking down at you with the softest, most loving look you've ever seen.
You now become acutely aware of how close you both are, and you quickly retract your hand from Cedric's face. Blush was already creeping up from your neck and onto your cheeks, and your whole body felt hot.
"Even so," Cedric spoke, his fingers gently cupping your blazing hot cheek, "I know I need to make this up to you. What do you need me to do?" Cedric's thumb skimmed the surface of your cheekbones, his voice soft but full of eagerness.
You stare up at Cedric dumbfounded for a moment, your brain fried from the intimate contact.
"W-Well, for starters... Never do that again." You blurt out, laughing despite yourself. Cedric pauses for a second, then joins in your laughter. You lean into him closer as you laugh, your arm snaking around his lower back.
"Noted. Definitely noted." Cedric nods, still chuckling.
"And..." You trail off, wracking your brain for more.
"I want us to talk to the King and Queen; they should know that we'll be official. It seems like that's what they've been wanting to hear." You muse, bittersweet feelings arising from your core.
"Yes- I'm sure they'd be delighted." Cedric said wryly, and you giggled in response.
"Ah, but- I think it's also important they know the impact those rumors had, as well. We should tell them what happened." You say somberly, looking to Cedric for approval.
You see hesitation in his eyes, but to your surprise he agrees.
"Yes, I'll tell them what I should've said at the start; Fuck. Off." Cedric enunciated, his eyes glowing with that mischievous look you've come to adore.
You burst out in full laughter this time, and Cedric flashes you a big smile. As you slowly regain your composure, you lay your head affectionately against Cedric's chest.
You feel lanky arms pull you in tighter, Cedric's hands resting perfectly between your shoulder blades and the small of your back.
You return the embrace with gusto, squeezing Cedric's lithe body flush against your own. You inhale his scent, a mix of soap and dried herbs coupled with the musk of old books.
Cedric dipped his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply as well. His breath is warm and light on your skin, and his face rests neatly into the grooves of your body. It was like you both were custom made to fit together perfectly, and it felt like bliss to finally be this close.
"I had only dreamed of this, you know. I never thought that this could be real." Cedric whispers, his lips grazing your neck as he speaks.
"I'm having a hard time believing it myself." You whisper into his chest, your pulse speeding.
"Maybe we should pinch each other, just to make sure?" Cedric pulls away from you, a cheesy grin on his face.
You snicker, but freeze as an even better idea pops in your head.
You try to contain your coy smile, but it was poorly masked. Cedric catches on, giving you a slightly confused grin in response.
"What if we kissed instead?" You squeezed out, almost wincing from the suggestion being said out loud.
Cedric's eyes became saucers, and his red tinted cheeks were almost crimson. The poor man almost looked like he was going to pass out in front of you.
"Ah- I was just kidding, Cedric. We don't hav-" Your sentence was then cut short off by a pair of lips connecting to yours.
You stood frozen for a second, unable to process what was happening. Cedric's hand came up to cradle your face, holding your cheek as if it was the most delicate crystal that could shatter at any moment. His lips were somehow even more gentle, barely brushing against your own.
You feel your body pull towards Cedric, your lips now fully enmeshed together. Cedric's hand trembled against you, and you brought your hand up to still his own. Your thumbs brush against his gloved knuckles, trying to provide him a sense of ease.
Cedric made a low hum in this throat, his face turning to capture more of you. His hunger in turn fed your own, until you both were left breathless. Your heart soared as the kiss lingered, your blood sending waves of fire and electricity throughout your body.
You eventually break apart, your breath uneven and heart skipping multiple beats.
You both look at each other at the same time, Cedric's half lidded lovesick gaze matching your own. A smile curls up from his now slightly bruised lips, and you give Cedric a bashful grin in return.
"Was that how a kiss was supposed to feel?" Cedric questioned in a daze, his voice low.
"Like magic?" You offered, your eyes crinkling as you smiled up at the sorcerer.
"No magic has ever made me feel like... That." Cedric scoffs in disbelief, shaking his head while smiling ear to ear.
"I'm afraid you're an entirely different force all together, my dear." Cedric purred, bringing your hand up to his lips. He gave your knuckles tender kisses, bangs falling into his eyes as he dips his head.
You swear you almost melt right on contact. Since when was Cedric so smooth??
"I'm glad you were there that day I fell from that ladder." You speak softly, your hand tingling from Cedric's kisses.
"Me too- I don't know if anyone else could've caught you in time. Then we never would have met." Cedric says with a bittersweet smile, his eyes lingering on you.
"I think I knew from that very first day we met that I'd fall in love with you." You confess, your cheeks burning like hot coals.
Cedric's entire face softens at your words, his eyes shining with love and adoration. A dopey grin grows on his face, and he starts to turn his head away from you in bashfulness.
You chuckle at his reaction, your hand covering part of your face in embarrassment as well.
You watch Cedric slowly gain back his composure, finally being able to face you again.
"Would you like to join me for dinner? I think we need to make up for some lost time." Cedric looks on at you hopefully, almost giving you puppy eyes to say yes.
"That sounds wonderful, Cedric." You purr, roping your arm together in his.
"Then it's a date!" Cedric whooped, twirling you around in excitement.
Cedric watched the joy unfold on your face, realizing his true goal in this life was to make sure that smile would always be there.
As you spun around Cedric's workshop, you feel more at home than you've ever been anywhere else.
This is it, you thought. This is where I'm meant to be.
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What's ur full analysis on Susie
Ohoho….😏😏😏I suppose…..I’ll Unleash the Thoughts all at once😏😏😏😏😏normally you’d need more kirbyliker14EXP(exposure points) for it to be comprehensible but recommended levels are always wrong (this is the worst intro I have ever made
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Ok first of all to get That out of the way uhh the whole star Allies Susie desc got mistranslated(classic star allies!) basically it’s supposed to be like “helping other planets with technology” and the whole exterminate thing is supposed to be just crushing bad people okay are we clear did we get that good (also I’m gonna be putting my Suzy kaomoji between points because I Said So(It might act b me favorite ?? I’m reely happy w how it turned out 😙my magolor kaomoji ᴑ /₍⸌╷╷⸍₎\ ᴑ is close but I think it’s mostly bc I felt proud as hell after figuring out how to put the ears on one line)
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Ok first off her lore basically blah blah Suzy was Exposed To The Internet At A Young Age
Fun(?????????) fact😋 as it makes no sense for Max to have done those experiments with star dream with his only daughter in close proximity so it’s highly likely that Suzy disobeyed her fathers warnings and prohibition and technically caused her own disappearance (why am I mentioning dis??😏ermm aheu heu you’ll c)
Suzy returns after seeing the Horrors and now works for Max
Come to think of it idk if Suzy even knew of max’s real goal like ik the novel made it so he openly misses her but ?? The novel also made him live at the end so No Im not counting that data in my
Anyway blah blah Suzy feels resentment for max and how either A)simple minded his goal of “unlimited money” is or B) that he doesn’t even recognize her
Notably this is prevalent in the Japanese version as shown which means he intentionally tried to forget his feelings (in other words what makes a human=human) and then started forgetting them more after more usage but didn’t see a problem with it (why are the haltmanns Like That)
/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|
Anyway time for the main story events
It’s been established that this is after Susie clawed her way out of hell(???) (before magolor made it cool) at like idk 11 years old so that’s slightly less impressive than the average Kirby adventure
Also that max has now lost abt 90% of his self (willingly??? Idk don’t ask me) and appears to focus entirely on money
Mr maxx pulls a questionable rant out at Kirby and tries to obliterate this 9 year olds entire world after losing a single battle but Suzy takes the helmet right after it touches his head(a tiny bit too late to enact the action?? A tiny bit too early???? Is this the worst outcome????Could he have survived and been reasoned with after defeat ???? I still don’t know STOP ASKING ME) and she enacts her famous line
She was so real for that she yippyd before it was cool oh anyway she then comes out(WOOOO GOOD FOR HER💥💥💥💥💥) as someone who’s been Against max all this time (in other words…disobeying her father…..😏😏😏I can’t believe Suzy made a Suzy reference)
However her calculated plan backfires and as the helmet touched his head but he didn’t have the helmet he gets 99% of his entire self destroyed and now the cold calculated machine decides to destroy the universe (erm…WHOOPS!😂😂😂 susie is so losercoded I can’t believe everyone calls her the Normal Person how do you screw up a plan this bad like seriously oh my god marx and magolor enacted their plan perfectly and taranza managed to technically bring the heros of the lower worlds to sectonia but Susie completely screwed up they should start calling her Losie)
However when learning of this susie doesn’t react in a normal way like there’s no sulking or sad face she gets up and immediately thinks of a plan to defeat star dream (giving Kirby the gimmick that notably cannot fly for very long without certain abilities and has quite short ranged attacks) then meta knight shows up n gives a much better plan by using his cool ship
As you can see her body language is all formal and cool and she’s all commanding and stuff (her autistic stare has captivated my soul) HOWEVER😏😏😏😏😂😏ohhh babyyyy I was dying after realizing this
As soon as they fly off screen susie immediately establishes a more desperate pose and language (in like. Every other version I think this is the American version even Europe got it better Suzy uses a formal name for Kirby instead of pinky)
In other words Suzy refuses to show her weakness in front of people(LOSIE THEORY CONFIRMED??????) then at the end she immediately leaves pop star instead of like lingering around to celebrate with Kirby like taranza did or the end of rtdl with Kirby’s chums (u can probably use ur imagination for the possible reasons she chooses to be alone😙😙😙)
/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|
ok robobot events over wooo anyway I Wasnt Sure How To Title This
Robobot is known for having a similar lore story to Taranza where villian that dies actually lost their self prior to the events of the game and the villian who gets redeemed had a persona connection with them
When we later see Suzy in Allies she appears Completely Normal And Fine compared to taranza
However I really doubt that she’s just FINE I mean you saw during the cutscenes I bet offscreen she’s tormented by thinking abt what her dad could have been and how he ended up and how she caused his fate (ok I changed my mind I don’t want losie theory to be confirmed take it back)
Notably, she’s completely dedicated herself to max’s company even though she seemed to really dislike him at the end(she coulda just made a whole new company)is this her way of apologizing for destroying him ?? A way of making her dad proud ????? Where do these questions keep coming from
While taranza gets to openly grieve and dedicate some time to receiving closure Suzy does Not the whole thing abt planet robobot is constantly upgrading and improving and so on and GRIEF is COUNTER PRODUCTIVE (oouuhhhghgghh I feel like things obtained from evolution that are counterproductive to modern life could b soo interesting to explore with Suzy like uh adrenaline giving you paranoia and complex emotions such as guilt and embarrassment being a side effect of brains developing more)
/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|🍦🍦🍦
No more “girlboss” Susie we’ve advanced to LOSIE susie now 👍👍👍👍👍👍
#kirbyliker12thoughts#susie haltmann#susanna patrya haltmann#susie kirby#ask#it’s..reely l8 here oh man DOUBLE WHAMMY
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cw / ed
it’s just hard for me to genuinely believe u care as much as u say when u keep making “jokes” even after ive explained to u so many times how much it hurts me OVER and OVER when i HATE opening up to ppl so even setting tht boundary was hard asf!!!😭😭😭 u know how hard i worked to get in recovery and how it’s been even harder to actually STAY there. u know all the stories abt how my disorder tore my relationship w my family and my old friends about. yet u constantly say triggering shit ON A LOOP EVERY DAY with no fucking warning. bc i had the audacity to be vulnerable for once in my fucking life and open up to u abt my insecurities? then u say my trust issues in general are unfounded and “crazy” when U PERPETUATE THEM. just say u liked me better when i was sicker at this point instead of beating around the bush. for fucks sake
and these r supposed to be my ppl, the closest friends i’ve ever had in my life yet they constantly make me so uncomfortable with the things they say abt my habits and the tidbits they know abt my struggles w mental health. they’re so so great otherwise but then there’s this and no matter how much i explain it they never stop? it hurts so much. and it comes in sprees too; where they just basically bully me constantly for a week and i hav no idea where it came from or how to stop it. i don’t want to let a few idiotic comments interfere wifh all the progress i’ve made but fuck. i decide to treat myself w a lil dessert and there’s a comment. i walk outside in literally any outfit and it’s “oh u better lay off the [whatever food they saw me eating recently] or that’s not gonna fit anymore lol!” i genuinely. don’t understand. iv explained to them hey im in recovery from anorexia after multiple years of struggling w it, ik it’s just jokes to u guys but it really hurts me. nope nothing. the running gag in the friend group is basically that im fat and ugly. that’s their favorite bit nd when they remember how funny it is Oh am i in for a long couple of weeks.
and idk maybe they dont mean it. maybe they rly just think it’s funny; maybe they think there’s nothing wrong w my body so commenting on it is a funny joke bc of the contrast but idrc honestly. one of them even HAS body dysmorphia (and knows i do too!) and STILL does it. like shouldn’t you understand how fucking DAMAGING tht is? its all so hurtful to me in so many ways nd i can’t stop thinking about it. they know i struggle w sh and suicidal thoughts too yet keep this up. like shouldn’t u know that’s gonna make it worse??? i don’t rly have any interest in seeing them if this keeps up. i don’t wanna eat around them or even exist around them if they keep doing this. i feel rly sick. i don’t want to think this is genuinely how my best friends feel abt me and they think it’s ok but. :( i can’t help it. i rly don’t know what to think
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11, 15, 27 and 30 for Ahaszaai twins (questions for extraordinary muses)? (sorry if late)
From [Questions for 'Extraordinary' Muses]
(if you either want the list or wanna send in some more. Ik I rb'd this a while ago but after this & the blorbo bingo one(s) are answered the askbox is gonna be empty again so open to taking more if y'all want! 💪)
Thank you for the ask @a-master-procrastinator !! I had fun with this one hehe
Some notes:
Gonna take the stance of "ability" being the Force ability that they're most well-known for rather than just the Force as a whole because. That's not "extraordinary" in and of itself in the SWTOR universe xP Click the ability name for the Wookieepedia page in case you're not familiar with the Force ability itself and want a refresher/explanation! :3 For Saarai, it's psychometry and for Ni'kasi it's Force-walking
Also feel like it'd be more fun to answer these in-character for a change so that's what we're gonna do! 😊
Alrighty now that we're on the same page, onto the questions!! :'DD Under a cut bc it's a long post, no specific warnings needed other than spoilers for the Sith Inquisitor storyline if you haven't done it, some swearing, and some mild implied angst <3
11. Have you ever had an embarrassing moment while using your ability?
Saarai huffs softly, her jaw spurs rattling in embarrassment as she ducks her head and mutters. "Lana and Koth promised not to tell anyone!" she whines, staring at her own shoes for a moment, before begrudgingly looking up to answer. "...Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll admit it." the Pureblood shuffles her weight from one foot to another, arms crossing over her broad chest. "Sometimes I forget to wear my gloves, so it can be pretty embarrassing when I pick something up or touch something and all of a sudden I'm bitch-slapped with a torrent of Force visions about all the blood and death and shit that the thing was connected to. Usually I'm er...I'm better at planting my feet and pushing through it but...." a distant look enters her sulfur-yellow eyes, and she trails off for a long moment as if Saarai were somewhere else entirely. If you're observant, you'll notice a shudder of discomfort work its way through the Pureblood's normally-sturdy frame. "But Nathema...that was a whole different beast. I didn't think- Gods, I never wanted to cry like that in front of Lana or Koth but it all hit me at once and I just couldn't help it." It might be best not to press her for more details, whatever she saw in those visions, it clearly was upsetting for Saarai.
Ni'kasi, however, remains quiet at first. Her eyes scrutinise you closely, as if she's trying to decide whether she can get away with giving away information that might make her 'vulnerable'. A soft breath huffs from her nostrils, and she shakes her shoulders out before admitting, her face blank and unreadable of any sort of humiliation or sheepishness that might give away how she really feels about the story she's telling. "....I suppose, the first time I tried to use it. The first time I fought Thanaton. That's what I get for trusting Zash at her word, it never happened again, and it never will. I got cocky, and figured I could handle far more power than I was prepared to." more quietly, she mutters. "Mother was right, as usual. Should've listened to her." her impassive mask of an expression does crack, then, as she flashes a sharp-toothed grin. "Fucker's deader than the ghosts in my head, now so...tell someone about Darth Occulus' greatest fuck up, or don't. Nobody's going to believe you if you do."
15. Would you ever choose to trade your ability for another?
Again, Saarai goes quiet. For a moment you wonder if she's heard your question at all, but when she speaks up it's clear she had, it was just something she genuinely had to put a lot of thought into for a moment. "....You know what? I don't think so." she shrugs, letting out a mirthful laugh and seeming to shake off the melancholy that had taken hold of her moments before. "Listen, as much as not being able to touch shit without gloves on can suck sometimes it's...it's something that's always been there, y'know? It's a part of me, just like the Force is. I think I'd feel like I wasn't whole if I woke up tomorrow and the psychometry was gone."
Ni'kasi doesn't even hesitate before she shakes her head. "No. Not for anything in the galaxy. It was a difficult ability to master, but it...gave me a connection to my family, my mother in particular, that I'm not sure I would've had without it." she smirks, thinking of Thanaton, though her lips settle into a smile that's far more fond as she carries on talking. "I could've found a way to kill that bastard without it, but...having mother there to talk to, even now, is nice. Makes me miss her a lot less than I did before I learned to Force-walk."
27. If you could give your abilities to one person for a day, who would it be?
Saarai's answer this time is far more immediate, and her voice raises perhaps a little more than she means it to in her vigor to convey her point. "NO ONE!" seeming to realize that such a loud outburst might have startled you, she coughs, spurs trembling again, and when she speaks again her tone returns to its normal register. "Look, I'm not even sure if this is something that you can just learn or...or give to someone else. I was born with it, as far as I know. But even if it was possible, trust me, I wouldn't want anyone else rushing into this. It seems cool on paper, and as much as I'm used to it now and wouldn't get "rid" of it, seriously...it gets old real fast. When it's helpful, it's helpful but when it sucks? It really sucks. The constant fear that some weapon or object you pick up is gonna be a metaphorical brick to the face, the nightmares in your sleep...You don't want this."
Lady Occulus folds her arms behind her back, raises her chin and stares down at you, hard. "Why?" she asks at length, trying to parse out why you're prying into that particular question. "Who wants to know?"
(Author intervention (for the actual answer since Kas isn't gonna give it 🤣) : She might entertain teaching an apprentice she trusts, buuuuuttt she'd have to be certain they wouldn't turn on her and use it against her. I mean, that's basically what she did to Zash and Thanaton and she's not stupid enough to open herself up to that same achilles' heel 😉)
30. Name one skill you haven’t yet perfected that you want to master.
Saarai smiles again, a big, toothy grin this time. Unlike her twin, she's not the least bit shy about admitting her shortcomings and even laughs as she does so. "I wouldn't mind learning how to be better with Force lightning. It's not something I was ever good at, I can do a little but...Kas and Lana are way better at it than I am." she gestures at her posture, all bulk and hard muscle. "Doesn't lend itself so well to the artistry and the fine hand movements, does it? Nah, I'm more like...the battering ram that kicks the door in while they do the finicky lightning work. Still, it might be handy to be better at it, bet it comes in handy for short-circuiting those droids, or consoles and stuff."
Ni'kasi sniffs, seeming almost offended that you're still trying to poke into her weak points. When Rai gets more animated discussing hers, however, she seems to consider an answer of her own that isn't too damning to her reputation. A soft chuckle escapes the Pureblood, her eyes shining with an undeniable fondness and admiration for her sister, if you're looking closely enough to notice that is. "...I'm not good with people. Not like Rai is. Bossing people around and telling them what to do? That I can do. But making friends, making people like me? She makes it look so fucking easy and sometimes I wish I could be more like her..."
#Q&A with the fam#extraordinary muse asks#swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai#swtor oc: ni'kasi ahaszaai#the ahaszaai twins#long post#this one was a *LOT* of fun; thanks pauletta!!#i kinda turned this into a defacto interview format but it felt right?#it was fun i enjoyed this a lot /pos :D#lana and koth. your girlfriend would like a word with you /jk#thank you for the ask!#a-master-procrastinator
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