#to finally break the cycle of violence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sticks-and-souls · 8 months

Text

Anakin & Letting Go

I always found it to be a little skeptical that Anakin could become a force ghost after it took Yoda, Qui Gon, and Obi-Wan learning and training how to do it, and I always thought “really? Anakin? Finding that level of peace and letting go?” But after this episode, seeing the care and lesson that he imparts upon Ahsoka that he learned so painfully, I understand it from him so much better. Vader was so stuck in his complete self-hatred that he allowed nobody who had known him before as Anakin to reach him (most notably Obi-Wan and Ahsoka) because of the overwhelming extent of his shame. It took his son, who had never known him and yet who still stood before him and believed in him, loved him, sacrificed himself for him, to call Anakin back from the depths of Vader. And this Anakin, let everything go to save his son and to allow his son to save him.

And it felt so impactful to get to see this mature post-Vader Anakin reaching out to Ahsoka to teach her this very hard-earned lesson that he took the very hard road to get. Because she has Vader in her. She is everything Anakin taught her, and we saw the behaviors that led Anakin to becoming Vader—the fear of losing his most cherished relationships—reaching out of Anakin very early in the clone wars (and before) and the two of them are both very aware that he imparted those lessons on her. And then we've seen across this season—and overtly in her clone wars flashbacks—that she believes she is inextricable from these traits.

I’ve always loved Anakin as a fictional character, getting to see his earnestness, his flawedness, and his intensity (to borrow Huyang’s very accurate adjective), but this episode brought a level of humanity to him that has moved me so deeply. Life is HARD, loss gets forced on all of us no matter what, and the lessons that we learn through mistakes that we made can be extremely painful because acknowledging and taking responsibility for hurting people is actually really painful for humans (not owning up to our actions is the emotionally easier choice and George Lucas has stated time and again that the Dark Side is about taking the short-term easier choices). But it ultimately means that learning from your mistakes is an actual choice you have to MAKE. And this is the core of Anakin’s lesson. He is teaching Ahsoka that she has to choose which lessons he has taught her that she will live by, but more than that, that she is empowered to be able to choose. Yes, she has everything that he taught her—the good and the bad—but she is not condemned to live out all of the lessons.

And the beauty of it isn't just the lesson, but that Anakin gets to be the one to teach it to her. The betrayal that she experienced in discovering his fall, the taintedness that she has been portraying that she feels about herself, gets specifically addressed because if he figured it out, then she definitely can too. If he is more than just Vader, then she is too. And THAT is what the "Is that what this is about?" line is actually about. It's so so important that we get to see pre-Vader, Vader, and post-Vader across her vision because the point is that yes, Vader is a part of him, and that brilliant shot of the two of them glaring Sith eyes across the blade at each other did it's job in conveying that Ahsoka is capable of that darkness too, but you are not only the darkness. You get to choose. ("You're more than [death and destruction] because I'm more than that"). And more to the point, you have to choose. Because if you don't specifically choose to fight the dark, then you're ultimately choosing to fall into it. "Fight or die."

So for Anakin to be able to reach out to her one more time, to be able to love her the way he, as Vader, had refused to the last time when they met on Malachor, and to open with “you’re never too old to learn”, because god if he didn’t learn that the hard way too. And to be able to pass on to Ahsoka how to actually let go because he himself had only just finally been able to learn it as well, feels so powerful and poignant.

And that look of pride and wistful sadness that he gives her at the end? That both she and Luke were able to learn so quickly what took him so long? And that maybe, he may have helped save her from the worst traits that he imbued upon her? That’s him having let go of his own shame. He feels grief, he feels guilt—we can see it on his face—but what has happened has happened and he has accepted that, and finally learned that letting go doesn't mean it didn't happen, it means it doesn't have to define your actions going forward.

And finally, it’s also him letting go of ahsoka. By teaching her that she will choose her destiny, he has to accept that he cannot control it either. And he has. “There’s hope for you yet.”

So yeah, Anakin learned to let go, and getting to see him here, in this headspace of acceptance and peace, practicing and understanding what it means to be a Jedi, was so unexpectedly cathartic and revelatory for me as viewer.

#listen this lesson IS HIS APOLOGY. he didn’t get it then but he gets it now so please ahsoka #here are the tools to break the cycle of fear and violence #i love you snips i love you snips i love you snips #i love anakin as a character but I never thought I would feel as proud of him as I do now #say what you will about filoni but to me this episode proved he actually gets the ethos at the core of star wars #I also finally feel like the show has earned the emotional sucker punch of an end credits score that kevin kiner gifted us with #ahsoka series #ahsoka meta #ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #anakin skywalker #snips and skyguy #ahsoka tano #darth vader #dave filoni #kevin kiner #my meta #ahsoka shadow warrior #man this was so much longer than i expected. let me tell you im a victim of parental abuse without telling you im a victim of parental abus #writing this out had me SOBBING y'all #ahsoka gets the reparation we all deserve

218 notes · View notes

watchmakermori · 1 year

Text

every single episode of attack on titan season 4 is basically saying in bright flashing neon letters ‘do not demonise people who seem different to you. you are the same in all the ways that matter. painting others as evil only leads to senseless violence, which causes more violence in turn until you are trapped in an endless cycle of it’ and yet somehow all the crunchyroll comments are full of people like ‘eren did nothing wrong’ ‘i hope someone kills gabi’ ‘marleyans deserve to die because they struck first’ like oh my godd oh my god oh my fucking god. did the wind part your hair when the point sailed over your head

#attack on titan #attack on titan season 4 #attack on titan fans and breaking bad fans fighting over who can miss the themes of the show the hardest #this always happens in shows where the protagonist becomes somebody to be feared #and just like walt #eren's personality is seeded from very early on #if you look back you can ABSOLUTELY see it coming #he doesn't change so much as the context changes and other people start getting hurt because of them #eren is striving towards titan genocide in the final season but like. that is quite literally what he has always strived for #right back in like episode 2 he was vowing to kill every last titan #his approach has changed somewhat but he still fundamentally believes that killing is the answer #that's been consistent all through the show #but the audience's perspective changes because we learn more about what titans are. about how eren and everybody else is an eldian #blows my mind that people can look at gabi who basically IS EREN. she IS EREN and it is NOT subtle at all #and be like 'damn I hate that girl I want her dead'#she is eren as he was ten years ago watching his hometown and family destroyed #and she is raging with blind hate just like eren was #the problem with this show is people think you're supposed to pick a side. but you aren't #basically nobody in this whole series a good person and /that is the point/#it's so hard to BE a good person when you are trapped in a cycle of violence

7 notes · View notes

lobpoints · 2 years

Text

Wild how I literally cannot explain to someone about the thematic of LC coherently since you if you Get It then you will get it, if you dont then you will just dont

#it is so hard to explain to people who doesnt see LC in the same way #like you werent supposed to justify Ayin action inside the cycle of LC that only involve him recreate his past tragedy #since it is an action that feed in perpetuate the cycle of violence #IT IS BADDD #LIKE THE ENTIRE THING ABOUT AYIN PUTTING HIMSELF WHEN HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE THE SYSTEM #looks at all the Carmen's line about how there is no one can do this it must be him and him trust no one to do his job for him #due to the whole incident in the lab #and to break out of the cycle A must experience genuine change as a person #or else he is doomed into the path where he repeated the same scenario of the past that is in itself extremely traumatizing to him #and his will to finally break out is what the audience supposed to look for and less his action to feed into the cycle #and the fact that angela and the sephirot wouldnt be standing in the Library if he didnt break out #not in the sense of ''if he doesnt exist then the story wouldnt happen''#nor in the sense of ''he is actually generous and brillaint''#like someone who broke down the door of an iron house to go free #a new pathway is now opened for other people who also trapped in said iron house no matter the first person intention

8 notes · View notes

technoturian · 14 days

Text

Regardless of my feelings about the BoS as a whole in the Fallout series, Maximus as a character exceeded all my expectations.

Maximus, honestly, to me, was the most nuanced and best acted character in the series. His situations were fantastical and yet the way he reacted to it all was so grounded. He was like a prestige drama character in a series full of cartoons. Don't get me wrong, I like the cartoons. Fallout leans heavily into parody and it's totally on brand. But Maximus' entire emotional arc was so understated and I really appreciated it.

He isn't a very vocal OR excessively emotive character because he knows being vulnerable hurts him. He shapes himself to that idealized memory of the knight in the armor even as he doesn't seem to really understand or care for the beliefs behind the armor. He's failing his classes as an aspirant. When talking of the BoS beliefs, he throws in a "or whatever". That part of it doesn't matter to him. The armor IS his belief system.

His whole story is about the cycle of violence and toxicity. The bullies who beat him. The abuse he endures. He wants power so that he can escape it but once he gets that chance he's doomed to perpetuate it, because that power is coming from the system. It's tainted. Deep down he doesn't want revenge, he doesn't even want power for power's sake, he wants safety. And he wants to be the hero from his memory, he wants the strength to save himself from this cycle.

And yet, he just keeps making he wrong choices. Over and over and over. He can't get out of it.

And then Lucy throws him a lifeline. And it takes someone from outside of the cycle to break through. And then he makes the choice to do the right thing even though it means making himself weaker, making himself less safe. He chooses to do the right thing for the first time in the show. And it means finally letting go of his dream, the armor.

And he sees a light at the end of the tunnel. He thinks his reward is going to be Vault 33, he's going to be safe and happy with someone who cares about him and makes him feel like a real, good person.

And by the end of the series, he's trapped in the cycle again.

There is just something so delicious about someone getting everything they wanted at the start and being miserable about it. There's something so REAL about wanting to be something but every instinct makes you sabotage yourself every step of the way.

And the thing is, he had all of these little moments of genuineness, selfishness, pettiness, virtue, I genuinely didn't know what he was going to do for most of the show. I thought he might turn on Lucy at some point. I honestly, truly thought he had sabotaged Dane even though Dane was his only friend. He is so morally hard to pin down because he's so full of life's little hypocrisies. His ideals and his feelings are in conflict so much and he doesn't have to look anguished for you to understand that. You just see it in his resigned stares, in his hesitance and his ultimate actions.

I just... I really loved Maximus. Bravo to Aaron Moten.

#Fallout #Fallout Show #Fallout Prime #Fallout 2024 #Fallout Spoilers #Maximus #Knight Maximus #Aaron Moten

1K notes · View notes

diejager · 6 months

Note

I love your Only Human fics 😭😭 I can’t help but think what Monster AU 141/Kortac would do if their only human got hurt during a mission….

A continuation maybe please?

Only Human pt3

Pairing: Monster 141 + König + Horangi x reader

CW: blood, injury, canon-typical violence, gun violence, flash grenade go boom boom, explosion, tell me off I missed any. wc: 2.4k

Only Human masterlist

They fucked up, they really flicked up. It was a simple mission, simple enough that you were sent with only three operators. Alejandro with his witness, slinked between enemy lines, shooting up and creating chaos once he shifted, his large body ripping through enemy lines like a hot knife through butter. Gaz with his aerial insights, flew over trees and spotted the soldiers you were shooting through and giving pointers to where they split up and where they collected. And finally, Horangi, stalking between the buildings, jumping from shadow to shadow with a slow sway of his tail, pouncing on his prey with the stealth of a tiger.

Laswell had promised that it was a quick in-and-out op, slipping through the village at night and taking out the leading figure of this hastily-made gang that was blocking the transport route between two important, allied towns. The shared intel was that it was a gang of ragtag rebels, raiding police stations within the mass, overwhelming the officers with their vast numbers of followers. They stole police equipment, vests, guns, batons, and ammunition, using them to power through the lines of officers and breaking through blockades built by the townsfolk.

While they weren’t trained in military warfare or had prior training with specialised weapons, they had the advantage of numbers, overwhelming any joint forces with their vast numbers of rebels. It was nearly astounding how many people were being paid and supported by Russia's wealthy Ultranationalists wanting to disrupt the trading routes and hurt the opposing team by prying them of a source of gas and material.

The few joint forces had slimmed down their numbers, leaving Task Force 141 to clean it up and take over their base of operation within the region. You were told that their numbers rounded a skeleton crew of twenty men, twenty-five at most. That’s why Price sent you four for quick and efficient disposal of the enemy.

That’s what Laswell gave you, the information burned into your mind from habitual memorization to ensure that your team would be prepared, and yet the data was wrong. Gaz had reported twice the promised number, not as well armed as you were warned but their number brought a changing tide to your mission. You wanted to turn back, to regroup and form another plan, but everyone was already in place and calling them back could be as much of a risk of being caught as storming in.

Perhaps that’s why you were all so careful and conscious of the dangers, moving in two, Alejandro and Horangi in one part and you walking under Gaz’s protective shadow. The initial plan was to box them in, working through both exits to snuff out any runaways and once you entered the compound, Gaz would drop down and lead ahead.

That was the plan, until, of course, all hell broke loose. It was chaotic, they were trigger-happy and within untrained hands, their guns were as leather as a trained one with how quickly they spent their magazine, cycling through one and spraying the wall you used for hiding. Soap’s wild clean-up would’ve been extremely helpful in a time like this; Ghost’s hungry haze would’ve swallowed them all up, opening up a way for you to pass; and König’s reckless and unpredictable shift that sent him into a wild frenzy while he tore through the base.

Unfortunately, they were back home, the little base they called their own when you first joined, yet you still had experienced and protective soldiers by your side, all special forces. Gaz led you with a strong hand and clear head, stopping at every corner to look at all sides before moving forward and you watched his back, looking out for any enemy rounding back.

Your situation would be - at best - organised chaos, made from what you were given at the moment, faced with a group over a dozen times and without backup waiting behind. There were hushed orders and observations sent back and forth between your groups, cautious warnings on your side and growls from the other. Nick had been informed in case of any immediate evacuation and Laswell, of the sudden change in the plan. You did your best with what you had, leaving bleeding corpses in your wake, slumped over the bloodied floor and against the stained walls, but you hadn’t expected the rapid change of shift in the enemy. They weren’t such men with guns and knives, they were trained - albeit sloppy - in ferality and ruthlessness, jumping at you and Gaz without a second thought.

Every lunge was met with a bullet, rifles firing at the advancing numbers holding a gun, a knife or both, leaving you with a graze or scrape, the skin under your clothes bristled and bleeding. They flooded like moths to a flame, one taking the place of a fallen, and two other taking his place. You were pushed back to back, Gaz’s wings fluttering in stress between you, fighting the need to cover you in a protective shield of muscle and feather.

“We’re compromised,” Gaz hissed into the mic, sending the message to any open coms on your connected line. “Victor-01, moving your way.”

“Copy,” Alejandro huffed.

Gaz tried leading you away, feet moving fast and steady around the halls you had to memorise for this Op. He tried to lead you safely, but they swarmed you like flies, appearing from every corner in an unending flood of shouting, thumping and firing. Gaz was bound to get hit at this rate, with his big wings and broader shoulders. It worried you that he’d take a bullet for you - you knew he would, as would the others - and get dangerously hurt. Through one door was a group waiting for you, gun trained forwards and ready to fire, but they were slow, sloppy, and they lacked the training and reflexes of a specialist.

You had time to push Gaz through a door and into a room, you hid on both sides, hiding from the straight line of fire. You unclipped a flash from your belt, waving it at him to catch his attention. It did and his lips broke into a grin, wild and electric at your idea. You had him count down the seconds, his fingers lowering until he balled his fist, shaking it as you pulled the pin out and threw it down the hall. Veering away from the door, eyes closed tightly and hands around your ears, the flash grenade blew up with a loud, ear-piercing screech. It sent them into a blind panic, weapons falling from their hands to rub the burning pain in their cornea, ears deaf to your quick-moving steps towards them, down they went, like those behind you.

Adrenaline pumped erratically through your veins, bubbling and warming your body to an uncomfortable heat that had you sweating under your gear. You turned another corner and you were closer to Alejandro and Horangi’s location, meeting up with them was your current objective, to regroup and take over the base in one group. They were just down the path, behind the sprinting men in jeans and t-shirts holding guns like it was a big, heavy toy. You could see their tense shoulders relax when they caught sight of you, guard still up and cautious, but glad that you were safe.

“Hunter,” Horangi hissed, his figure trembling as his nose twitched under his mask. He stared at your shoulder, the damp jacket stained with your blood. “You broken?”

“No, the adrenaline’s keeping me going,” you nodded back, trying to soothe his worry. Being the 141’s medic, you knew the benefits of adrenaline, it numbed the pain, the cold and the burns, but once you calmed down, you’d feel every little scratch.

You limped out of the building, body leaning against Horangi for support, his tail curled around your thigh and body tense in a possessive mood. He kept glancing your way, his golden eyes swirling with worry, pupils small and attentive to every wince you made. He moved according to your pain, urging you to put more weight on him when you walked on your bad leg, where a bullet shot straight through your thigh, bleeding through the quickly put gauze you covered it with and wrapped tightly in bandages. You promised them that you’d properly patch yourself up in the helicopter while they watched before you worked on them.

With your body riding off the adrenaline that kept you going for the past fifteen minutes, you jerked and winced when you walked on your left leg, the white bandage around your thigh staining red on the side. You were sure Horangi and Alejandro could smell your blood, or they'd been able to smell it before you even saw them, the irony tang wafting around them like a haze of their failure. The failure to let you get hurt and unable to properly protect you, you could feel the tenseness in their shoulders, their lowered head at your smile and the jerky movement when they moved around, seemingly pulling themselves back from doing something.

Nikolai waved at your group, ushering you in from his seat, strapped safely with his headset on and communication clear between everyone. With a short affirm from Alejandro, Nik took off, the bird curving to the left when he turned west, towards the UK. You waited until the flight was stable, flying through the air softly and steadily before you opened up your pack, searching for items to clean and reward your wound until you returned to the infirmary. You checked your tourniquet, tightening it when you saw that it was slightly loose, ripping open the wrapping around your leg, you reapplied the gauze, adding pressure to it to stop it from bleeding even more.

You winced and hissed under their watchful eyes, between Alejandro and Horangi, their tails swaying and occasionally curling around your forearm. Gaz, however much he’d like to sit beside you, to fuss and worry openly about your wounds, sat across from you, strapped in with his wings spread wide across the seats.

“Looks rough, Охотник,” Nik called to the back, light glinting off his glasses.

“Nothing new, Nik, you know that,” you replied through the coms, a lop-sided smile curling the corners of your lips.

He cackled, a full-belly laugh that had all of you smiling in your own ways. Nikolai was rambunctious, loyal and a big bear of a man. He was human, the other human in the Task Force apart from you (Laswell might’ve been the one sending you across the earth and gathering information, but she - regrettably - wasn’t truly a member.).

“Да! I do!”

When you landed, the rest of the TF was already waiting outside, arms crossed and shoulders tense. It seemed they got the news of your Op, showing their displeasure with deep frowns and deeper glares, none directed at you or the hybrids, it was some sort of self-hatred and anger at the person that gave Laswell the intel, their promise of it being factual and not sending them any updates on the case. Laswell, herself, was fairly mad, her stressed face pulled sombrely down.

Soap and Rudy rushed to you, voices low and tones raspy, they hovered near your group, fussing about the blood that caked Alejandro’s forehead, a slight graze from a rifle’s butt and other bruises from slamming into obstacles; Gaz’s slight pinch in the back from being slammed into a wall by a bulldozing enemy when he ran out of ammo; Horangi’s ripped sleeves, gashes bleeding lightly from attempts at slashing and stabbing knives by inexperienced hands; but what worried them the most was you, limping and hanging from Horangi’s shoulders.

Your eyes were hooded, equal parts exhausted and blood lost, placing all of your weight on the Haetae hybrid. While your upper half was unscathed - apart from the slight bruises forming on your skin - your leg, wrapped tightly in a tourniquet and bandages drowned in red. The amount of red would’ve been worrying if they hadn’t known you, but you’ve survived far more dangerous and life-threatening wounds, bouncing back with revenge. As truthful as it was, it didn’t stop them from worrying. You might’ve been more resilient than most - hybrids credited their resilience to their human parent - you didn’t have the healing ability of hybrids or the immortality of spectres.

“ ‘m fine, Rudy,” you smiled, so bright and reassuring when you were the wounded one. “Nothing a few stitches and rest won’t heal.”

“Si, but-”

“Doesn’t mean we’re not worried, love.”

Like his callsign, he walked in on your little group silently, peering over Rudolfo’s shoulders, his warm, brown hues meeting yours. His voice was strained with concern, croakier than when you left this morning, waving at them. Rodolfo moved over when Ghost brought his hand forward, Horangi passed you to him with careful and tender hands so that you could be brought to the infirmary without having to walk. You hooked your arms around Ghost’s neck, arms crossed lazily over his back and chin propped up on his shoulder. He held you against his chest, one arm under your ass and another carefully tucked under your knees, watching your wounded leg without touching it.

You looked at Price and Laswell from your perch, their hushed discussion with shrugging shoulders and crossed arms, but neither looked pleased with the outcome of your mission. You blinked owlishly when you couldn’t find König beside them, head turning from side to side to find the 6 '10 Austrian hybrid, but you still couldn’t find him. Just as you were going to ask Ghost where König was, a hand reached out to grip your forearm, thick fingers softly rubbing your strained muscle. You were met with a veiled face when you turned, brilliant, red eyes stared at your wounded thigh in distaste, his mind throwing him into the scene of the moment, turning and ripping the men that dared harm you to pieces, bloodied and unrecognisable parts of a human.

“Hey, König,” you called out, pulling him back from his violent daydream where his eyes turned crimson, glazed with bloodlust and rage, promising doom. “Do you want to come with us?”

“Ja,” he replied moments later, snapping to your face with blank eyes, now his regular, ice-blue colour. “To the infirmary first and mess all later. You need to eat and rest well to heal quickly, Schnucki.”

“What about the-”

“You need to rest, lovie. Let them deal with the debrief,” Ghost’s voice was stern and commanding, ending whatever protests you had.

As if to prove his point, he turned to face Price, his head nudging you to look at your captain, the imposing and dominating figure of Price’s horned head, thick, swaying tail and powerful wing. Price replied with a quick nod, curt in a way that shut down any voice, landing the hammer on the gravel with a resounding boom. You sighed, grumbling lowly about them worrying too much about a flesh wound, exaggerating your condition (in your mind) and threatening them with insubordination that had your commanding officers glare your way.

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @yeetusspagheetus @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973

1K notes · View notes

exo-dus404 · 17 days

Text

Finally posting this AU here;

It’s 1 year anniversary of this AU!!

CW: This au contains general dark themes, brainwashing, non-consensual body modification, violence, machine gore, etc. please read at your own risk!

This is my rw au(Project Triple Affirmation), it takes place in a setting where the Ancients are still alive. One day, Looks to the Moon announces that she has found the Triple Affirmative—the answer to the Great Problem: to eliminate death by uploading all consciousnesses to a virtual reality, for without death, there is no rebirth, thereby breaking the cycle. She sees herself as the savior of everything, granting an ethereal eternity.

To put it into simpler words: Moon with her local group killing everything and uploading their victim’s consciousness to FP’s processor(a virtual reality).

While Moon claims that her plan “Solves” the Great Problem, her real agenda is far more radical: she wants to play god. To create a new world in her vision.

There’s still a lot more lore in this au, I’ll slowly get to them in my later posts.

732 notes · View notes

queermania · 1 year

Text

i can't get over the way this show is repeatedly and not at all subtly saying that john's trauma/grief/loss doesn't excuse anything he did to his children. every character we encounter has experienced some version of it but he's the only one who never breaks out of the cycle. carlos chooses therapy. lata chooses peace. mary tries to choose herself but really ends up choosing to save people. but john chooses violence and he lets it consume his life and his kids' lives. and the thing is that sam and dean choose violence for a long time too. but in the end they do what john never could. sam chooses *screeching finale denying noises* and dean chooses love. and what if i'm crying about it?? what then????

#john winchester #spnwin #mp

4K notes · View notes

sharkrocket · 4 months

Note

daniil crying daniil crying daniil crying

i like to imagine that he almost never cries and i just wanna know what finally makes him break down and ugly cry

OH MAN, I 100 percent agree with this, he strikes me as the kind of person to bottle up everything and try to push all his emotions down, but those emotions end up manifesting in negative/self-destructive ways until the weight of everything finally causes him to break down

There's a fic I love that does this really well, please read Shedding Skin by Plaguedboar, I binged all thirteen chapters in two days and was ugly crying by the end of it

Daniil and Artemy come to a slow harrowing realization about their feelings towards each other, but they both recognize how dangerous and destructive acting on those feelings might be. After Daniil takes a bullet for Artemy, it drives a wedge between them, Daniil pushing Artemy further and further away, as Artemy increasingly believes that Daniil sees him as something dangerous - something with the capacity to destroy him. That if Artemy allowed himself to love him and keep him in the town, Daniil will die

❗ SPOILERS ❗

The reason why Daniil ends up taking the bullet is because he realizes that he's also in love with Artemy, but truly believes that he's not worthy of being loved and that he'll ruin Artemy just like how he's ruined everything else he's touched. So, by dying by saving Artemy's life, it would have have been the best thing he could do for the both of them. However, because Artemy ends up saving him, Daniil becomes devastated and does everything in his power to make Artemy hate him and leave him, if he knows what's good for him. In turn, it causes Artemy to question if he's even capable of loving anyone. Thus, begins a cycle of Daniil being as cold and hateful as possible, throwing insults and being self-destructive, while Artemy keeps trying to save him, which only pushes Daniil to be more hateful and self-destructive....

❗ END SPOILERS ❗

There's a beautiful moment at the end where it culminates in Daniil walking out into the steppe to die, and against all odds, Artemy finds him there. After all this time, after all the insults, the coldness, the violence, Artemy decides to love Daniil despite it all and follows him into the wide expanse. Even then, the Capital Snake is still trying to spit venom - doing everything in his power to get Artemy to leave and let him die, but it doesn't work because Artemy finally sees through the facade. He reaches past the Bachelor's many roles and holds on to the Daniil that's terrified of loving and being loved in return, and that's when Daniil finally breaks and allows his vulnerability to bleed through

PLEASE READ THIS!! The angst and catharsis of it all is immense, and I can't recommend it enough!!

#Pathologic #Daniil Dankovsky #Artemy Burakh #Burakhovsky #I think the only way I could have done this scene justice was through film or animation but I did my best #Also I can see the burning of Thanatica compounded with Artemy choosing to destroy the Polyhedron manifesting into something very ugly #The man he considered a close friend and maybe even love shatters the last remnants of your hope for the future #There won't be tears at first but it'll be months of coldness and hostility until something finally makes him snap

435 notes · View notes

cemeterything · 6 months

Note

I'm going thru ur angelverse tag rn cuz I'm writing a bit about computer angels and you've got a lot of neat stuff in there and it's got me curious abt what that's about. 🎤

so angelverse is this original fiction setting i made up for an rp server that no longer exists. i lost the server in the divorce but kept all the lore and worldbuilding i came up with for it. which was pretty much all of it. it's an urban fantasy/cosmic horror story set in a universe where angels are these powerful eldritch machine aliens whose species is in decline due to their dysfunctional, heavily militaristic society, near-perpetual conflict between various political factions within that society, a mass lack of purpose beyond warfare, and dwindling resources available for the continued propagation of the species.

the story mainly focuses on exiles from this shattered civilization; fallen angels banished to earth, usually for heinous crimes or extreme miscarriages of justice, and angels who were considered unfit for active duty due to personality or utility flaws and "reassigned" there under the pretense of some kind of nebulous greater purpose, but actually just abandoned for being weak links without the disgrace and ceremony of being officially exiled.

these malcontents, misfits, murderers and weapons of mass destruction, and how the people of planet earth interact with their presence, create most of the central conflicts that drive the story - death, rebirth, the horror of having a body, the existence of free will, machiavellian schemes, supernatural turf wars, epic love stories, bloody revenge tragedies, cycles of violence, and those who seek to break those oppressive, infinite loops - but the threat of the various powers of the republic of angels finally resolving their differences and turning their attention to the unresolved issue of their discarded toys, or being called to war once more, this time by the increasingly frustrated human population that has unwillingly hosted the angels' castoff scraps for the past few thousand years, remains an ever-present threat that hangs over all like a sword.

i already answered an ask where i linked all of the worldbuilding info documents before, so i'll just tack that on here in case you're interested in knowing more

#angelverse

413 notes · View notes

suuuupernovaaa · 1 year

Text

zeyko

zeyko [zɛj.ˈk·o] vtr. heal, fix

Requests from @hyunjinoak: Can I request Neteyam x female reader story, in which the reader got hurt badly during a mission/war and her baby daughter/son keeps crying so bad for her(his) mom?

TW: violence, blood

With all the strength in his body, Neteyam shoves his younger brother to the ground, and raises his fist, intent on bringing it down square on Lo'ak's face. He hopes he will break his nose, or an eye socket, or maybe even his jaw.

Before his fist can crack bone, someone grabs his arm and wrenches him away.

He hears his father's voice. "Hey, whoa," he's saying, loudly trying to calm his son.

"It's his fault! It's his fault she was shot," Neteyam screams. "She went down there to protect him!"

Jake grabs his son's shoulders, spinning him so that they are face to face. He sees the anguish in his son's eyes, but even so, he can't let him hurt his brother.

Neteyam might be angry, but Jake knows he would regret it soon enough, if he hurt Lo'ak.

"Your son needs you now, Neteyam. He's crying for his mother, he doesn't know what happened. You need to go take care of him." He looks over his eldest son's shoulder, to see Lo'ak standing up, looking hurt and defeated. "I'll deal with your brother."

At the thought of his son, Neteyam stands up straighter. Without another word, he charges home.

It's the longest night of Neteyam's life. He stands outside of Tsahik's tent, listening to his wife's moans and cries, while holding his discontented infant in his arms.

The baby only wants Y/N. It's as if the little one senses that something is wrong, that his mother is hurt, and nothing he can do will calm the boy down.

Eventually, when things begin to calm down, Kiri emerges. Neteyam is near tears, the baby is screaming, and everyone is tired.

"Is she okay?" Neteyam asks.

Kiri nods. "She is. You go in. Give my nephew to me." She extends her arms and almost instantly, the baby settles in his aunt's embrace. Neteaym frowns, but Kiri shakes her head. "It's because I am calm, and he could feel your worry. Just go."

Confident that his son is safe with Aunt Kiri, he rushes into the tent, eager to finally reunite with his mate.

It happened in slow motion. Lo'ak took to the ground, wanting to claim a weapon for himself, and I followed, scared something would happen to him.

The ships were inbound quicker than I'd thought, and no sooner had Jake put out the warning, than the bullet had ripped through my side, tearing a searing hole in my flesh.

"Y/N!" Lo'ak screamed, tossing aside the gun he'd just picked up, and the world faded to black.

I had spent the next 12 hours in and out of consciousness, waking up to unbelievable pain, and then falling back asleep again. It felt like an endless cycle... until it did end.

My eyes open, with much difficulty, and the pain is subsided. It's still there, and it's still the worst pain in my life, but it is no longer a searing, hot open wound. I feel the sting of healing, and the numbness of whatever salve Tsahik and Kiri have come up with to place on the wound.

"Neteyam," I whisper. "Ninan..."

Kiri hovers to my right, and pats my shoulder. "I will bring Neteyam. Hopefully, Ninan is sleeping peacefully."

She exits the tent, and only moments later, Neteyam enters.

The sight of him sends me to tears, and though the sobs hurt my sore body, I cannot stop them. The wound at my side isn't all that hurts - I am covered in bruises and cuts from falling off the ship when I was shot, and I am tired, my throat is dry, and I just want to see my family.

Neteyam drops to his knees by my side, and I see the tears in my eyes reflected in his.

I reach my hand up, cupping his cheek, and he covers his hand with mine, leaning his cheek into my palm.

"I thought you were going to die, Y/N," he says in a low, breathy voice. "I thought you were dead, when I saw you lying there."

Shaking my head, I try to muster a smile. "I would not leave you, or Ninan. You know this."

"I'll kill Lo'ak for risking your life."

"No, Neteyam. Lo'ak isn't to blame. I followed him on my own. He was just... being Lo'ak. He didn't think."

"His carelessness almost got you killed! Almost took Ninan's mother from him."

I wince at the harshness of his tone. "We'll speak of this later. Is Ninan sleeping?"

Neteyam nods. "In Kiri's arms. You should sleep now."

He lays down next to me on his side, pressing his forehead to my temple.

"You will bring me my son at first light," I whisper, but my eyelids are already drooping, and Neteyam is pulling a fur over us. I feel warm, and the pain begins to subside as sleep starts to overtake me. As always, I feel safe with Neteyam close to me; I know with him here, I will heal faster.

In the morning, I will hold my son, and Neteyam will forgive his brother - because that's what family does.

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam fic #avatar 2 #avatar twow

1K notes · View notes

senseandaccountability · 8 months

Text

“Is this truly our prodigal son?” - meta ramblings about Astarion and Cazador and breaking vicious cycles

“I didn’t have a choice… but it seems now I do.” Astarion is indeed the prodigal son in the sense that he has to return to his home in order to find himself and his purpose.

For at least half the game, he is - at least outwardly - what he has been made to be. A pretty facade to be consumed. In the mirror he doesn’t see himself, he remembers nothing of his past, he can’t even read the words etched into his own back - he is, in all aspects, unwritten, unmade until he starts walking back into his own life. Reclaiming it. Or rather - remaking it. Because there is nothing sustainable there to reclaim, his heritage from Cazador contains nothing but death and violence. And power built on those two ingredients. Even when he claims that’s what he wants - power, walking in the sun, to never be afraid of anyone again, you can hear how hollow the desire is. Isn’t this what you want for me? he asks Tav, equal parts manipulation and the fact that he probably has no idea whatsoever how to figure out if he wants something like that for himself. He’s never had the luxury of choice. Shouldn’t I want this? When Tav later says that considering slaughter of seven thousand spawns isn’t who Astarion truly is he doesn’t even say she’s wrong, he replies: IT SHOULD BE.

“If I can’t have my freedom, then neither can they.”

Astarion is also, to use the same religious myth, the son who remained behind and keeps count. He counts the injustices done to him, he compares, he gathers bitterness and lust for revenge over two hundred years. Nobody ever did anything to help him. Nobody came to his rescue - he even says so himself early in the game that no hero saved him, it was the mindflayers who did. He admits to Gale that he’s prayed to all deities - but no one answered. When Tav prods about the countless of spawn he’ll sacrifice for his own ritual he brings up the same argument - what about what he’s owed? Everything was taken from him, too!

“You’d almost feel sorry for the poor, deluded souls. But they’re idiots who brought this on themselves, so… don’t.”

Astarion doesn’t want to identify with the victims because then he has to identify as a victim. (Or even worse, someone who willingly accepted the offer of a vampire, aka idiot who brought this on himself.) And no matter how much he talks about what Cazador put him through, he’s not ready to do that, not fully. Instead he pushes them further away from himself, especially as his guilt and pain and self-loathing gets poured into preparing for the Ascension. That one thing that will finally separate him from everyone else, make him safe and untouchable. The others, the victims, they’re weak, pathetic, nothing like him at all, they’re too far gone, they’re different, they couldn’t survive out there so it’s better he kills them so they serve a purpose. It’s not exactly subtext, either, Tav can outright ask him if he really intends to kill them just because they remind him of himself and his voice breaks when he answers that. “They do not. That weakness inside me is dead. It’s dead. I have a higher purpose.” He comes a little bit closer to breaking out of his cycle with the Gur children, they happened not that long ago, he’s visibly moved by the fact that he had forgotten them and felt nothing when he delivered them and when Tav asks about his feelings on the subject, he admits: “I just… I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.”

But it takes the encounter with Cazador to truly break out of the pattern.

“Did I not make you who you are?” “Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?” he snaps at Astarion when you first enter his ritual. And when the camera pans to Astarion, so full of rage and fully intent on killing Cazador with his bare hands if he has to, we see that he actually does slouch. He’s that boy again.

He’s returned, the boy who caused so much trouble, who screamed the sweetest when he was tortured, who was thrown into a tomb for a year for refusing his order and who eventually stopped fighting back. Godey says: “You always were sharp, little one. Sharp enough to cut yourself.” The boy who Cazador tried to make something of, but to no avail. He was incorrigible. “I fondly remember your empty boasting, your tired jokes, your endless prattle…” All abuse aside, Cazador hurts Astarion in that precise way only a parental figure can hurt a child - through constant disappointment, the cruelty of not caring. The parent that only punishes, that sees nothing but faults. He even tells Astarion that he ought to be begging their forgiveness for coming crawling back after abandoning them. “Forgiveness? You’ve never forgiven anything.” / “No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve ever done to me.”

“I’m so much more than what you made me,” Astarion tells Cazador when he finally has him on his knees, one last attack away from getting the revenge he’s dreamed of for two hundred years. When he asks Tav for help he - again - brings up the “isn’t this what you want?” Because even if he knows he’s more than what Cazador created him to be, he doesn’t know what that “much more” consists of yet. If you detect his thoughts at that moment you learn that he’s afraid, hungry, intoxicated. That all he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom to do anything - to be anything.

“I want you to live a life you’re proud of,” Tav pleads. “You can’t be proud of this.” Tav who sees someone else in him, a way forward that isn't steeped in Cazador's tyranny. Tav, who treats him like a person, with autonomy.

“I know you think this will set you free, but it won’t. The power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador.” And it was this Astarion required to truly remake his life. Returning as the prodigal son to the place that was his home, where he was taught he amounted to nothing, that he was a means to an end, that the only way to ever feel safe in life is to hold power over someone else.

That’s why I found his “No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve done to me” so powerful, because it’s it’s much more than an insult or a protest. It’s an acknowledgement that you were hurt and that you didn’t deserve it.

And by extension here - that you’ve hurt others in turn and they didn’t deserve it, either. That perhaps you are just the same as the weak, pathetic spawn in the dungeons. That perhaps we all are. That perhaps the true power lies in daring to hope. For forgiveness, for understanding, for more people out there to have a heart like Tav’s. That you, if you’re given a chance to make choices for yourself, can make a life you can feel proud of. Even if it means you have to let others see your shame. To care again is to live again, like Tav says while they're exploring casa Cazador. And Astarion wants to feel alive.

When you can make Astarion realise he can be better than Cazador, he immediately shows protectiveness towards the spawn, telling his siblings to lead them to the Underdark and then telling the truth to the Gur but making sure to point out that if they come hunting - they’re hunting their own children. Cazador’s been dead for a couple of minutes and Astarion is already doing a better job as some sort of wretched father figure for these poor souls. Because he's given them freedom to make their own choices, treated them as equals. Shown them the care nobody ever showed him before. That's how you break cycles and pack one hell of an emotional punch. Fuck you and fuck everything you’ve done to me, indeed.

#bg3 spoilers #astarion #lilith plays baldur's gate 3

576 notes · View notes

owlhousetarot · 1 year

Photo

Wheel of Fortune: Cycles of Violence and Trauma

Upright: Cycles, change, destiny, life cycles, turning point, fortune, karma, external forces at play, breaking negative cycles

Reversed: Lack of control, bad luck, resisting change, clinging to control, upheaval, setbacks

The Wheel of Fortune card is an important one in this deck: The Owl House’s narrative is all about cycles of violence and trauma, how they’re perpetuated, and how they can be broken. These cycles include Luz inheriting Camila’s struggles with conformity and acceptance, Lilith mirroring Philip’s attempts to force a sibling to conform to their ideals supposedly for their own good, the Collector perpetuating his species’ tendencies to subjugate entire worlds, and of course the most blatant example: the Grimwalker cycle.

The Wheel card reminds you that the world is in a state of constant change, most of which is unavoidable and entirely outside our control. Hollow Mind is a rude awakening for Hunter, as he learns how little control he truly has over his life. We the audience learn that in creating Hunter and all the Grimwalkers, Philip has been attempting to re-create the relationship he had with Caleb, but better; Caleb’s decision to leave the human realm and love a witch completely upended his entire worldview, and he is clinging to an image of the past that will never truly come back. The Wheel can also represent a critical turning point in your life; Hollow Mind is the moment that finally causes Hunter to break away from Belos’ abuse, becoming the first Grimwalker to break the cycle and survive.

The Wheel’s theme of the inevitability of change is mirrored in the conflicting ideals of the Collectors and Titans; Collectors preserve and objectify living beings so they will “never fade,” while the nature of the Titans is to embrace death and change as natural and necessary. Life itself springs forth from the decay of the Boiling Isles, illustrating the cyclical but ever-changing nature of life. In season 3, the Collector has the Isles trapped in a stagnant fantasy land much like the one Luz was expecting to encounter in episode 1, likely because the trauma of losing his baby Titan friends and being imprisoned for thousands of years makes him crave control over his surroundings. Like Luz had to temper her expectations and accept the Isles for how they were, he must let go of the illusion of control and allow the world around him to change in order to break that cycle of trauma, lest he end up trapped in it like Belos.

< Previous Card: The Hermit

> Next Card: Justice

#the owl house #toh tarot #major arcana #wheel of fortune #hunter toh #luz noceda #caleb wittebane #philip wittebane #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #the collector #evelyn clawthorne #hollow mind

2K notes · View notes

annabelinlove · 1 month

Text

No Games (pt.2)

Pairing: Wolfstar x reader (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Reader)

Summary: The aftermath of the attack

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: angst, past description on violence, non sexual nudity, language, English isn’t my first language, no use of Y/n, Peter doesn’t exist

Readers note: You wanted part 2, so here it is! I’m sorry for the rushed ending but i have another thing planned and i really wanted to post this on. Lmk if you like it. Read part 1, if you haven’t already and checkout my masterlist. Every kind word is appreciated. Enjoy!

Pt. 1

Masterlist

You’ve spent the whole week at the infirmary and not even for a second were you alone. You had no idea how they did it, but your friends and boyfriends kept your company even thought you were sure they had classes they ought to attend. Whenever you tried to bring it up, they just shushed you and told you it was dealt with. You didn’t know what that was supposed to mean and weren’t even sure if it really was dealt with, but you were glad for the company so you decided to let it go. Regulus himself sent you a card telling you he hoped you’ll recover soon but you were yet to talk to him. You brought it up carefully when you were alone with Sirius, you knew his family was a sensitive topic for him.

“Have you talked to Regulus?” You asked, looking at your beautiful boyfriend who was working on his Herbology essay, his legs on your bed. He looked up from his work and smiled gently.

“Yeah, we met yesterday at the Tower, talked the whole night. That reminds me, he wishes you the best but said he’ll talk to you when you’re out of here, if you’re still up for it.”

He didn’t tell you the details of their conversation, but the small smile present on fis handsome face told you everything you needed to know, so you didn’t bring it up again. You’ve received many get well soon cards, some of them from students you didn’t even know at it warmed your heart. Even Marlene and Mary came to visit you. The whole day you spent with your friends and Madam Pomfrey and at the night, you always shared the bed with your boyfriends, who left in the morning to go to classes but still came back after few hours and this cycle repeated itself for the whole time you were in the hospital wing. It made you forget about the main reason you were even here and considering all odds, you were quite happy in your bubble. When Sunday came, Poppy told you that you were free to go but take it easy, which meant no quidditch and pranks, and to come back Monday evening for her to check you up again. Most of your wounds were healed and the bruises were barely visible, but still, some of them took longer to heal. One wound in particular, the one on your side, was pretty nasty and sometimes still bled a bit. It was sure to say you were glad to finally leave the infirmary.

“You’re ready, pet?” Asked Sirius as he took your bad, with all the cards and sweets that people sent you in his hands, and watched Remus, who was tying up your shoes. You told him you were perfectly fine to do it yourself, but he just waved his hand and kneeled in front of you. Why would you when I can? was his only response.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You smiled at him and hopped off the bed, taking Remus’s hand as all three of you left the hospital wing. But as soon as you walked down the corridor to your common room, the reality hit you and you stopped to take a deep breath. What if it happens again? What if they pick on someone else? What would happen if Regulus hadn’t come? I’d probably die. The boys must have noticed your sudden panic and stopped as well. Siris stood in front of you and put his hands on your cheeks to make you look up at him. His gaze was soft and full of love.

“I know it’s scary right now, but nothing like that is ever gonna happen again, do you trust me? Do you trust us to protect you?” He asked softly, not breaking eye contact so you knew he was serious. Remus squeezed your hand, to reassure you in your own way. Your timid nod didn’t seem to please them.

“Words, angel. Do you trust us to protect you?” Remus prodded and your eyes shifted to his honey ones.

“I do, with my life.” You responded verbally now, which seemed to please them, as you all continued walking to the portrait, one boy at either of your side. Once in the common room, all of your friends were already there a big barel welcome back hung from the chandelier and you genuinely smiled as they all gave you a big and long hug.

“Now, now, don’t smother our girl.” Remus protectively pulled you to sit on his lap as he sat on the couch and buried his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. “She must be used to it, dating the two of you.” James stuck his tongue out at him playfully and they started to bicker. You felt like you were finally home. With your friends all around you, in the middle of the loves of your life, both of them touching you at all times, you were happy. This is where I belong, you thought. The rest of the day was spent talking, laughing and playing wizarding chess or exploding snap.

“Alright, its time for dinner kids, lets go.” Lily decided, standing up and ordering everybody around like the mum of the group. Your whole body seemed to freeze at that. The thought of leaving you little bubble of happiness to go to the Great Hall was more then unsettling for you.

“Go without us, we’ll just hang in here. Would you mind bringing us something?” Remus spoke up, obviously noticing your sudden anxious state. You both loved and hated how they could read you and knew you like the back of their hands. Nothing would get past them. James nodded before running after Marlene, probably to discuss the upcoming quidditch match. Lily sent you an understanding smile before waving at you and leaving the common room.

“Thanks, I’m just not ready to face them, yet.” You uttered, feeling embarrassed.

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to us. Anything to make you feel the most comfortable, always.” Sirius was quick to argue and attacked your face with small, wet kisses. You laughed as you tried to get away from him. However, during your wiggling around, you accidentally pushed on your sore side and a sharp pain ran through your body. You let out a groan and the boy stopped quickly and distanced himself from you.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry if I hurt you, darling.” He was quick to speak, looking you up and down to spot any wound reopening and bleeding. You placed your hand on his cheek and smiled.

“It’s okay, just my stupid side. You didn’t do anything, I must have moved wrong or something. It’s fine.” You tried to assure him, but he still looked worried. Remus decided to step in and stood up, holding his hand out for you to take.

“Why don’t we go back to our dorm, hm? You could take a warm bath and relax as we wait for James to bring us something to eat. Then we can cuddle, how does that sound, my loves?” The idea of hot bath has already calmed you and you were quick to take his hand and get up. “Sounds like heaven.” You gave him a kiss and you all went to your dorm.

Well, it was their dorm, but you spent all of your time there anyway. You had your things there and to be honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept with the girls in your own dorm. James didn’t mind and claimed he was happy to have someone who’d help him deal with the two idiots. Once inside, Remus drew you a warm bath and even added some bubbles for you. It was nothing like the prefect bathroom, where you sometimes sneaked in with you boyfriends, but at that moment, it was perfect. You slowly undressed, with Sirius helping you, and softly kissing every new scar and unhealed bruise. You daren’t look into the mirror, terrified what you’d see, but right then and there, you felt loved, bare in front of your boys who stared at you with nothing but love in their eyes. Sirius helped you into the bathtub and you let out a content sigh when you sank into the hot water. Remus kissed your forehead and took Sirius’s hand, as they went to leave you alone.

“Stay.” You whispered, giving them your best puppy eyes, that Sirius taught you. Without another word, they both sat next to your bathtub, and you were finally able to relax, feeling every single muscle loosening after what felt like ages. You were all silent as Remus laid his hands on the edge of the tub and rested his hands on top of them, Sirius resting his head on his shoulder. You had no idea how much time has passed, all of you just enjoying the quiet time together, but it was interrupted by James, who poked his head inside the bathroom.

“Y’all good?” At the disturbance, Sirius quickly threw a bottle of shampoo on his head.

“Oi! Get out and stop ogling my naked girlfriend!” He shouted at his friend who put up his hands in surrender. James couldn’t have seen anything, as you were covered in bubbles but your boyfriend’s protectiveness mage you laugh a little.

“It ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.” He joked before quickly shutting the door as Sirius got up with the intention to punch him. You laughed at that, remembering the few times when you walked out of the bathroom naked, thinking you were alone in the dorm, with James sitting on his bed or him walking into the bathroom when you were showering. Not to mention that all of your friends went skinny dipping into the Black Lake.

“I’m kidding, sorry! Just wanted to know if you’re okay since you’ve been silent for the whole 20 minutes I’ve been here.” He said behind the closed door. At that, Remus put his hand into the bath which has gotten cold already. “Alright, let’s get you out, the water is freezing and you need to eat something.”

Sirius washed your hair as Remus went to get some clothes for you as well as a new bandage and some ointment. After drying you up, he carefully rubbed in on the wounds and bruises as well as some pink scars. You mustered up the courage to look at yourself in the mirror and sucked in a breath. You looked much worse than you thought. Even after almost a full week of being at the infirmary, unhealed scratches could be seen all over your body, numerous of bruises and scars, some bigger then other, keeping them company. Your cheeks were hollowed, and you had dark circles under your eyes. You also looked thinner. Sirius quickly stepped in front of you when he saw the disgusted look you gave yourself in the mirror.

“Hey,” he said as he put some hair behind your ear, “you’re beautiful.”

The smile you gave him was genuine and you stopped thinking about it as he kissed you passionately. They dressed you in some sweatpants and shirt, none of which were yours. When you emerged from the bathroom, you realized that James has already prepared the food on Sirius’s bed, which was the biggest of them all, thanks to a single spell, since the three of you slept on it every single night. You settled comfortably on the bed, under the covers with the boys around you and contently started eating.

“Thank you, Jamie.” You thanked him with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. You didn’t even realize how hungry you were, but it was really no surprise since Poppy fed you mostly soups from various of herbs to help you heal.

“Anytime, sunshine.” He winked at you and started a calm conversation. Mostly between the boys, since you were too busy eating. After dinner, Sirius sat behind you and without a word started to braid your still wet hair. It was your routine, doing each others hair, sometimes Remus’ as well, if he had them long enough. When he was done, you all bid good night to James and laid on the bed.

“Would you read to us Moony?” Sirius asked sweetly, pulling you closer, careful not to hurt you in any way. Remus pulled out his book, The Lord of the Rings, and his calm voice filled the silence. You nuzzled yourself closer to him and quickly fell asleep, his voice fading away in the background.

You were running away from someone, you didn’t know who, but knew they were dangerous. You were in some dark place, when someone pushed you to the ground.

“This is what you fucking deserve, filthy bitch!” The unknown person spat at you as he hit you, pain erupting immediately all over your face. You were suddenly on the floor and someone was kicking you over and over again. Your hands tied so you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself. You screamed for help but an evil laugh was the only thing heard. “Shh, we’re just playing.” And another blow, now into your head. You felt like you were under water and running out of air, not being able to breathe.

“Hey, hey, wake up. It’s okay.”

Unknown hands shook you, but you saw only silhouettes, and green flashes of lights. Suddenly, you had a wand at your neck. You tried to pull away, but couldn’t. The wand suddenly slashed your throat.

“C’mon, wake up darling.”

You sat up quickly in your bed, gasping for breath as your hands flew to your throat. You’re safe, your in your dorm with your boys. It was only a dream. You were shaking like a leaf, only now just realizing that someone was talking to you.

“Breath for me, angel. It’s okay, we’re here. You’re here, you’re in our dorm, with me and Moony, you’re safe. Just keep on breathing for me, please.” You concentrated on Sirius’ words, slowly calming your breath.

“I’m gonna touch you, is that okay, my darling?” Remus said in his soft tone, you weren’t able to speak so you tried to nod, but it wasn’t enough for the boys.

“Please, use your words. I know it’s hard, but try, pet.” You croaked a yes, which seemed to satisfy him and he gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a gentle, yet firm embrace. Sirius handed you a glass of water you didn’t even see him get it. You gulped the water like your life depended on it.

“It was just a bad dream, my love. You’re okay.” You were able to calm down, but was still shaking lightly in Remus’ arms.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He whispered as he kept on rubbing small circles on your back. You took a deep breath, trying to remember the dream but it was all hazy.

“I-I was in some dark room or something and someone kept on hurting me. And then-then..” you were interrupted by your own sobs but tried to pull it together to finish “then a wand slashed my throat and I couldn’t breathe.” You cried into his shoulder. Sirius took your hand in is and placed it where your heart is.

“Do you feel that?” He patiently waited for you to nod before continuing, “that’s your heart and it’s beating. It means you’re alive and breathing, my love. It was just a nightmare. Take a deep breath, because you can, baby. It’s okay.”

You felt your heartbeat and started to slow down your breathing, the shaking stopped as did the tears. You pulled out of Remus’ hug and looked at them sheepishly.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.” You just now noticed the darkness of the room and heard James’ loud snores. You swore he would sleep through an earthquake.

“You have nothing to apologize for, angel. We knew the nightmares would come sooner or later.” Remus soothed your worry but his words confused you and you looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Well, at the infirmary, Poppy gave you a sleeping draught every night so you could sleep peacefully, but you didn’t take any tonight. I was just kinda counting on it. It makes sense after what happened.” You froze at his words, you didn’t even think about that.

“Oh, I’ll go and get it tomorrow then.” You sighed, fatigued overtaking of your body.

“No, pet. I know its hard and the nightmares are terrible. Trust me, I know, but you can’t take it for such a long time, it could really mess you up.” Sirius looked at you apologetic, feeling bad for crushing your vision for peaceful sleep.

Your whole face fell down and you looked close to tears again. “But I don’t wanna have a nightmare every night.” You uttered, looking at your hands, picking at your nails.

“And you won’t! Me and Pads will do everything in our power to help you with them, just not through medications, okay?” Remus was quick to reassure you, taking your hand in his so you would stop picking at your nails before they started to bleed. You were too tired to fight with them, so you sighed a small yes and let them lay you on the bed again, squeezed in between them.

“Moony’s gonna read to us again, until you fall asleep, okay?” Sirius said and kissed your nose, but you were quick to protest. “No, I don’t want to keep you up for no reason, you shouldn’t stay away just because I can’t sleep.”

Remus gave you almost a bored look but still looked at you lovingly. “Hey, none of that, darling. Anything to help you. Plus, I ended at quite an interesting chapter, so I’m curious what’s gonna happen next.” And with that, he picked up the book and started to read, just like few hours ago. And just like few hours ago, you feel asleep.

The next time you woke up, it was by Sirius who was leaving wet kisses all over your face. “Wakey, wakey. We need to get ready for classes.” He whispered but still continued to kiss your face. It was Remus, who ushered both of you to the bathroom to clean up (and redress your wounds, of course) and soon enough, you were on your way to the Great Hall for breakfast with your friends.

Everybody was chatting with you the whole time, to help you ease your nervousness, and you were immensely grateful for them all. You stopped in front of the huge door to the Hall, but before you could start to think too much about things, Remus took your hand and Sirius screamed your name to gain your attention.

“Look, look! This is how to make someone your peasant.” And before you, or anyone really, processed his words, he jumped on James’ back, held tight with one hand, the other high in the air as he started screaming loudly. “Go, my slave. Take me to my fine breakfast and DO NOT DROP ME!”

James wasn’t even complaining, pretty used to his theatrics and he ran straight to their places, making a huge scene with Sirius. All of them laughed at their silliness and before you knew it, you were sat at the table, with your back to the Slytherins, and started to eat. All of your friends were distracting you with jokes and you were smiling the whole time. Sirius was still ordering James around and he did everything the long haired boy asked.

“Pass me the juice.”

“Of course, my lord. Is there anything else I could aide you with? Your wish is my command.”

After breakfast, Remus took your backpack and you walked hand in hand to your class. Sirius was, of course, riding on James’ back to the class.You were thankful that you shared Charms, your first class, with your boyfriends, as well as Lily. The worst part was, that the Slytherins were taking Charms as well. Sirius got off James’ back before the classroom and looked you deep in the eyes.

“Listen, and listen to me closely, pet. Me and Remmy are gonna be with you the whole time. There’s not gonna be a second when one of us isn’t close to you, okay? It’s gonna be okay, you’ll be fine and we’ll be always by your side.” He reassured you and you smiled at his thoughtfulness to calm you down. You took a deep breath and Remus squeezed your hand in support. You nodded that you were ready and you entered the classroom. You didn’t look around, your gaze set on your desk. Sirius and Remus were on both your sides, squashing you in between them.

Remus still hasn’t let go of your hand as you squeezed it tightly when you felt the hairs on your neck rising. Snape and Mulicber were here. You didn’t dare to move a muscle, your body in a trance, too scared to even breathe. Both of your boys noticed and they tried to talk to you and joked around to make you smile, but you weren’t able to concentrate on them. You didn’t even notice when the class started, nor did you registered that it has finished. You could feel their eyes on you, the whole time. You knew that Snape was staring at the back of your head, his eyes sending daggers your way, but you were too afraid to look back. To look at him, them.

Sirius had to nudge you that the class was over and you had to go to the other one. You felt like you were sleepwalking as they took your things and led you out of the classroom. But you froze in your tracks as you heard the cold laugh behind you. You knew it was Mulciber.

“Well, well, well. Surprised to see you at school and not the graveyard.” He snickered but before you could do as much as blink, you heard a loud bang from behind you. You turned ground quickly, waiting for some king of danger coming your way, but were met with Sirius pinning him to the wall, his wand at his neck and hand holding his chest so he couldn’t move.

You saw as Snape took out his wand, but Remus casted a quick Expelliarmus and his wand flew out of his hand and his reach. He was stood protectively in front of you, his wand aimed at Snape as Sirius hold Mulciber. You didn’t even know how any of that happened, if was all too quick.

“Say another word to her, I dare you. Let’s see who will be buried six feet under.” Sirius seethed, his voice low and dangerous. You’ve never heard him use this tone.

“You’ve got bodyguards now, heh?” Snivellus snickered at you but not moving an inch. Before any of you could say or do anything, Lily appeared out of thin air and hit him square in the face. Snape fell to the ground, holding his bleeding nose and looking up at her in surprise.

“If you ever come close to her, I will hurt you. And I fucking mean it, Severus. I don’t know what happened to you but it gives you no right to act like an asshole. You are nothing but a fucking scam and dirt. Don’t come close to her or any of us, never again.” She told him, her voice cold and face blank of any emotions. You have never heard Lily use so many swear words in your life, let alone in one sentence.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Mulciber trying to get out of Sirius’ gasp and Remus was ready to send some hex his way, but you stopped him as you laid your slightly shaking hand on his shoulder.

“Wait.” You said quietly but strongly. He stopped and looked at you, his wand still aiming at his enemy.

“Don’t be like them. Let them go, karma will get them soon and better then us.” I said loudly, for all of them to hear me. Remus’ gaze softened but his wand still raised high.

You could hear Sirius growl, not moving an inch, so you walked up to him and took his hand with his wand an out it down. He looked unsure, but wasn’t fighting your touch. You looked deep inside Mulciber’s eyes and when he open his mouth to say something, you spat at him. You could hear Lily gasp, but you didn’t care as you turned around and walked away with your head held high.Remus, Lily and Sirius quickly caught up with you, your raven boyfriends taking your waist and spinning you in the air.

“That’s my fucking girl! You shoved them who has the power!” He hollered, and you laughed. When he set you down, both he and Remus hugged you tightly and you felt the weight lifting off your shoulders.

“That was brilliant, my sweet girl. I’m so so proud of you.” Remus beamed with pride, kissing the top of your head. “I could never do it without you. Thank you, for everything.” You squeezed their arms and quickly went to hug Lily as well.

“That must have been hard for you, I know you two used to be close.” You whispered into her ears. She sighed and let you go, looking into your eyes.

“Yeah, used to. Before he turned out to be such a prick. But I won’t hesitate to protect you from him, or anyone else, no matter what.” She gave you a kind and sincere smile and you knew she meant it.

As you walked down the corridor, with Sirius and Remus nonstop praising you, you felt lighter. You knew it wasn’t the end. The wounds were yet to be healed, the physical ones as well as emotional ones, and the war was far from the end, but you knew you could do it.

With your boyfriends and friends by your side, you were unstoppable.

——————-

Tag list: @quackitysdrugdealer @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @oweninadaydream @noodlesareokah @wings-of-tranquility @oweninadaydream @leafpagesingfan

145 notes · View notes

gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 3 months

Note

Hey! Hope you’re having a good day! Just wanted to say I’ve become obsessed with your psychology analysis on the Vees and VoxVal. I’m curious, since the relationship is definitely toxic, how do you think the cycle of relationship abuse would work with them? (Honeymoon phase, tension, incident, ex)

Awww I'm so glad you like my silly headcanons, I fucking love writing them <3

(headcanons in question because they are relevant to this post: Vox and NPD | Valentino and BPD | random Vees headcanons)

You know, I believe their relationship is toxic because neither of them is particularly well-adjusted. However, I wouldn't apply the cycle of abuse theory to them. As far as I know, that theory is used to describe relationships that are highly unequal with clearly defined roles of abuser and victim. For instance, during the tension phase, tension grows in the abuser while the victim "walks on eggshells," trying their best to calm the abuser and constantly living in fear of an incident. I can't really imagine Vox or Valentino being that frightened of each other. Actually, that's why I think they are meant to be together - they can handle each other.

That being said, I do believe they have some relationship issues. In episode 2, we witnessed Vox calming Valentino (by yelling at him so very toxic) when he was angry. Vox hates Valentino's unpredictability because he is a total control freak. While he finds Valentino's fiery temper extremely alluring, he also wishes Val would tone it down. He'd like to have a more reliable partner, especially because for him, falling in love was a significant and risky investment.

On the flip side, immediately after Vox managed to calm Valentino down, Valentino essentially provoked him into a temper tantrum. Look at this shit-eating smile; he knew damn well what he was doing.

Vox usually keeps his emotions hidden behind a polished facade, staying detached. Valentino, on the other hand, is all about intense emotions—loves passion, violence, and desperation. He digs Vox's cool business daddy vibe, but it drives him nuts when Vox gets all emotionally distant from him. Vox tries to guard himself because he knows Valentino can easily weaponize people's emotions against them, and he's lowkey scared of being vulnerable. So when he's going through some tough shit, Vox puts up this wall, becomes all distant, and then Valentino feels rejected and starts being a total jerk, pushing Vox away because he's hurting (if you've read my BPD Valentino headcanons, you get what I mean).

So those are the main sources of tension in their relationship. Sometimes one of them snaps. In Vox's case, it means complete withdrawal from the relationship and sinking into work (since he wants a perfect relationship, he rarely even admits he's angry, he's just like "It's fine I just don't have time to see you") which obviously drives Val crazy. Because he's obsessively in love. So to fix the situation he doesn't apologize (since Vox "wasn't even angry") - he just invites himself to Vox's apartment/office and seduces him by acting nice and submissive so Vox can feel in control again.

In Valentino's case, snapping means a violent outburst (though, I don't think he's physically abusive because he knows Vox is not afraid of him and could easily bite back or, even worse, leave him for good). These outbursts make Vox furious because he can't stop them. Then, they end up yelling a lot, throwing stuff around, and sometimes even breaking up. After that, Valentino goes on a week-long bender, just partying and hooking up with dozens of people. Vox, being obsessed, watches everything, and his jealousy always gets the best of him. He finally breaks and sends someone to bring Val back home. Or he personally intervenes, kills whoever Val is fucking, gives him a giant bouquet of roses, and goes all out to prove that he's the best guy Val could ever have. Vox is a showman, so he acts almost like a charming and obnoxiously rich mafia boss from a smutty novel, who wants nothing more than to please his princess with grand gestures.

Oh also I think Val is very sensitive about Vox treating him "like a woman." He's actually very secure in his masculinity; he feels comfortable enough to present himself in feminine ways while still acting masculine. Like I mentioned, he's queer and he totally owns it. On the other hand, Vox still grapples with some deeply internalized heteronormative ideas, occasionally treating Valentino like his bitch. Valentino hates it because he's aware of Vox's sexist tendencies, and he refuses to allow Vox to treat him as though he's beneath him. He genuinely believes in the concept of an equal partnership in their relationship and can't stand Vox's attempts to alter the power dynamics in his favor.

If you like this post you may also like my VoxVal fanfiction

#vox #hazbin hotel #valentino #voxval #staticmoth #vox hazbin #valentino hazbin hotel #headcanon #character analysis

289 notes · View notes