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arminty7 · 3 years

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𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘦

Mermaid!Jungkook x Reader [Part 3]

Trapped in this life of expensive wine and judgemental eyes Y/N met an unusual lady who offered her a job at an aquarium a few towns away. Despite being hesitant and uncertain for the future she decided to take the offer as it was her only way out, not knowing that many dangers might come her way.

Jungkook swam his way through the small tunnel in wonder. He didn’t realise what he was ‘walking’ into as he took the entire night to explore a tunnel. He thought it might lead to you, how naive. It is only when he heard the piercing sound of drilling from the small tunnel entrance did he know what was happening, he was trapped. With that, his instincts took over.

Chapter: #3 Swimming in Wine

Words: 4843

Warnings: Mild Swearing // Fluff // Eventual Smut? Idk maybe depends // Jungkook obsessive // Evil Namjoon (im sorry guys) // It might be a little messed up.

AN - It's been a while. I know.

This work shall not be copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission. In a case where this might happen, legal action will be taken as it would be a criminal act under the law and breaching these terms. Upon reading my work you are acknowledging that this work is mine and that you know the consequences if this work is copied, reproduced, translated and/or modified in any way without my permission.

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It was early in the morning when the sun started to creep its way into the room. You were sitting on your bed and surprisingly enough, you were already awake. You never used to be such an early bird, but throughout these past few nights, you would wake up drenched in sweat. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop thinking about the incident on the cliff. Upon sleeping, you could almost feel the arms of the creature wrapped around you, like its haunting touch has placed a permanent mark on you. When thinking about it more deeply, it felt human to you. The arms of a human, but its touch too deeply pressed on your skin: the coldness you felt, reached down to your bones. It was like death was clinging onto you, with you as its life source.

"Hey Y/N? You up?" You heard a whisper and you saw Julie poking her head through the door as she opened it slightly. You look over at her with a relaxed expression and a soft smile.

"Yeah, I'm already up. Did you want to go and get a coffee near the waterfront before dropping me off to work?" You stand up from your bed and start fixing the blankets and pillows.

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea, let me go get my bag and we can leave soon." She spoke as she left the room, closing the door but not all the way.

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Looking out onto the ocean, it felt calm today. Although the tranquillity that you felt while looking out onto the shore exhibited a chaotic kind of peace. The calm before the storm. You could feel it, the anger of the waves crashing down and the freeing nature of the water wanting to come out. But it held restraint, it couldn't do anything even if it tried. Something was missing but you didn't know what. All you knew was that the feeling you had felt when looking out towards the ocean, changed somehow. The calm waters seemed too good to be true.

You sat there at the coffee shop across from the beach near where you work. The smell of sea-salt and fish mixed with coffee seemed like a horrible combination, but the locals were used to it. You found comfort in the idea that you might get used to it too. The coffee that you held in your hands was hot against the cool air. You sipped your coffee while waiting for Julie to come back with her usual morning cravings of insatiable sweet pastries.

“So, tell me. Have you made any work friends? Any of them cute?” Julie sat down across from you, taking you away from your thoughts. You looked over at her and chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“I have made some friends, not many but hopefully that will change in time” You smiled slightly looking out at the ocean again, feeling yourself get distracted but not with anything in particular. "Well it’s your first day today so make sure to stay on your toes, but don't overwork yourself," Julie spoke while her mouth is full of sweet dough-like pastries, more focused on the icing coating the top of her lips, not realising that you have been spacing out this entire time.

Thankfully you're good at multi-tasking and you chuckle at her comment, "It’s funny, people keep forgetting that I have worked at an aquarium before you know? It's not that much of a big deal." You sip your coffee but immediately placed it back down on the table, it was too sweet.

You look at your watch, realising its time to go. Plus, you would rather be at work than trying to have a normal conversation with her, you know she's trying but she's not your caretaker or mother, she doesn't need to try so hard.

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As you walk through the entrance of the Aquarium you could immediately feel the difference in atmosphere from the other day. The busy environment that you knew so well back home at the aquarium suddenly felt familiar. The buzzing sounds of life engulfed the reception as many families and residents were chatting away while waiting in line. Kids nagging at their parents and young couples looking at each other lovingly while waiting in line. There were not many people though as it was early, and it wasn't officially open for another 30 minutes.

You walked past them towards the reception and saw Seokjin who looked busy talking to the people in line. He glanced over at you and he made an expression as if he remembered something.

"Ah Y/N, Jimin told me to tell you to wait for him at the food court at the bar. You'll be working with him today. Taehyung is meant to be here, but he called in sick". You nodded, silently chuckling to yourself as Taehyung probably just called in sick because he was "too busy" or had some "emergency". While in reality, he's probably watching a new season of a drama he recently got addicted to.

You head your way to the food court after you say goodbye to Seokjin. It seemed quiet in the food court but simultaneously busy as workers prepared for the day. You could see some workers running around in their little cafes or tourist shops as you walk towards the main bar. You could hear your heels hit the glassy floor, echoing as it bounced off the wall of the gigantic room.

The bar had no one in it. You suppose it didn't open till later in the day. It was weird to you, you have never seen an Aquarium that had a bar before. Mind you, you never really travelled anywhere so you wouldn't know if it's a common thing to have at Aquariums.

You sat on the stool, looking at the giant tank circling the entire food court, acting as a wall around the large room. You tried to look through it to see how far it went but all you could see was the light blue ocean that seemed almost endless. Some small school fish could also be seen swimming in the tank. It felt as though you were in the middle of the ocean. All alone.

In contrast to the light blue colour that is seen throughout the rest of the room, the small tank that was built into the wall behind the bar looked darker and overgrown. It was a very small square tank that resembled a small window. You could barely see through it, a thick layer of algae covering the glass, it looked so dark in there. Maybe it was connected to another section of the aquarium, perhaps it even descended underground?

You shivered and looked around the food court, were you being watched? You could feel the sudden nervousness tingling throughout your body.

It was a weird feeling that came upon you, an icy cold feeling of loneliness like the air had suddenly shifted. The voices of the other workers in the food court were drifting away and you were slowly slipping away from reality. An alluring voice crept into your ear, singing an enchanting but hypnotising harmony. Somehow you could sense that it wasn't one of the workers for the voice sounded too angelic, too sweet to even be real. Your bones were chilled as you sensed the familiar feeling of cold strong arms enveloping around your waistline and chest as if you were reliving the moment by the cliff. You could physically feel it, its touch… his touch. Closing your eyes, you could feel the cold sharp wind from that moment above the water as it brushed against your cheeks. The creature’s hot breath giving you some type of warmth in the moment, yet it felt unknown to you. Mortality was clutching you in its hands, but you felt so safe. Like it was saving you despite drowning you at the same time.

You shook your head, awaking from the trance that you were in. Glancing back over at the tank behind the bar and you saw a dark figure in the water. It stayed there looking through the algae ridden glass. You could only see a face, black and blue scales on its cheekbones and jaw. It looked human, but at the same time, you knew it wasn't. Its alluring golden eyes, shining in the water, staring into your own. Its eyes were soulless.

By the time you blinked, it was gone.

You stood up, wanting to go closer to the small tank behind the bar. Making your way behind the bar, you were stopped by a strong hand pulling your shoulder back. "What are you doing here?" You turned to see a man who held your shoulder with a firm grip, his eyes staring straight into yours.

Oh, if looks could kill.

"I uhh.." Your mind went blank as you stepped back a bit, away from the man. He looked annoyed while you struggled to let the words out. By this time, you forgot what just happened moments ago.

"Answer my question" He spoke quietly but sternly, letting go of your shoulder but moving a step closer to make sure you can't run away.

"I was waiting for-"

"Yoongi-Hyung, what are you doing?? Leave the poor girl alone, you'll give her a heart attack" You sighed in relief as you saw Jimin walk up to the bar.

'You know this girl?" He spoke in a serious tone, you remembered what Taehyung said earlier about the Bartender, I guess this is him.

Jimin nodded, leaning on the bar. "Her name is Y/N, she's the new recruit Hoseok was telling us about" Jimin looks over at you with a charming smile while you take the opportunity to escape the bar and onto Jimin's side.

Yoongi looked at you and then back at Jimin, "well get outta here will you, the aquarium opens up soon”.

You nodded and Jimin just smirks before looking over at you "Come on Y/N, we have a busy day ahead of us" He stands up, grabbing your hand, giving you his signature smile before leading you out of the food court and down the hall.

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Third Person POV

"I can't believe we are opening up the aquarium a day after we caught it, what if it escapes?!" Hoseok looked down at the ground continuously tapping his foot on the ground as he leaned on the bookshelf in the office. Namjoon sat there in the chair in front of him.

"Don't worry, it can't escape" Namjoon reassured him and then continued.

"We have reason to believe it got stuck in an old tunnel filled with water that was built throughout the aquarium. We constructed the tunnel ages ago for the public and we were going to add glass windows to it, so you can look through the tunnel. However, the construction wasn't going as planned and we halted the idea."

"So, it's just swimming in a small tunnel throughout the aquarium walls with no way out? Like a maze? In pitch-black darkness?" Hoseok widened his eyes, he never heard of such a thing.

"You have nothing to worry about, the tunnel that he swam through to get in the aquarium was connected to the ocean, but we blocked it off as soon as we found out he swam in it. He's stuck in there."

"Are you certain? Have you swum through the tunnel yourself? How do you know there's no other way he can reach the other aquariums for the public to see?" Hoseok said, his voice raised. He walked up to the front of the desk, his hands crossed, Namjoon could sense his doubt radiating off of him.

"Before this place was opened to the public, I got some divers to check it out, it has no pockets or windows. It's pitch black down there" he tried to reassure Hoseok again. Namjoon looked up at Hoseok and he nodded, uncrossing his arms.

"Let's hope he doesn't go too crazy down there, we'll have to get him out soon." He continued, "Oh, by the way, Jackson called. He said yes to the deal." Hoseok

"Good. We will prepare the creature for transport soon".

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It was a busy day.

You sat off to the side as Jimin stood in his wetsuit on the platform of the dolphin's tank. He had a big smile stretched across his face as he instructed the dolphins while the crowd watched from the bleachers. With every flick of his hand, the dolphins would jump up in the air and the echoes of cheering would fill the small arena. You had a bucket of fish with you and you watched as each dolphin would come up to you after doing a trick. You sat on the side of the tank, you were visible to the public eye, but they weren't paying attention to you. It was sad really, you knew what went on in aquariums. How ironic that you want to be free yourself when working at an establishment that rejects freedom. You looked at the next dolphin that swam your way, it seemed weaker than the others. You went closer to the tank and sat on the edge. It slowly swam up to you, it was at that very moment that you saw a gash stretched out on its back. It wasn't bleeding, and you could easily see that it’s been there for a while.

You looked up at Jimin in worry although he didn't take notice. He held the microphone as he catered to the audience. You looked back at the dolphin and reached a fish from the bucket. Perhaps it was self-inflicted somehow. You heard that stuff can happen in aquariums. You watched the dolphin gently swim away, back down into the water, following the strict routine that was given to them before the show.

After the show ended, you still couldn't get that dolphin out of your head. Its empty expression in its eyes is still burned in your mind. All the hope and optimism you once associated with dolphins was now gone.

You stood there in the tiny tin room out the back of the aquarium near the dolphin tank, cleaning buckets of fish that were now empty. Jimin left you and went to go help another co-worker and gave you the task of cleaning out buckets that radiated the smell of decaying fish. You remember the innocent smile he gave you when he asked you for this little favour. It was your job, you couldn't say no - and he knew that.

"Thanks, Y/N! I owe you" Jimin yelled out, waving his hand as he ran off.

It was around 4 pm when you finished cleaning. Your body felt tired from the long day and you and Jimin were headed to the bar.

As you stepped into the food court the feeling you had before suddenly crept through your body. You shivered, and a sudden feeling of dread came upon you. It was weird, you didn't even think about the incident after it happened. Like you suddenly forgot about it. But now, as you slowly walk up towards the bar, you felt a chill encompassed around your bones.

Jimin sat down on the stool on the bar and placed a hand under his chin. He looked up at Yoongi with a smirk, "So, how's business?". Yoongi took a glance up at the both of you and looked back down again, wiping the bar down.

"It was pretty slow today. It was weird, I expected more people to come" Yoongi said quietly. You sat down next to Jimin and crossed your arms over the bar, letting your head rest gently on your arms.

"Hey, I just cleaned that" Yoongi looked over at you but after the day you had, you couldn't care less. You replied with a monotone "sorry" but stayed in your current position. He could tell that you were tired and surprisingly enough, he didn't push it.

"So, you remember that key I gave to you right? The one I found?" Jimin straightened up at Yoongi's words and looked over at you for a split second.

"Yeah I remember, what about it?" Yoongi sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well I need it back" Jimin looked confused, "but I thought you found it, that it had no meaning to you. That's why you gave it to me in the first place"

Yoongi sighed, "To be honest it was actually Hoseok's. I was curious to know what it's for, so I gave it to you. I didn't realise you wouldn't tell me after you found out. Still, after all these years, you haven't told me! To think, I was the one who gave you the key in the first place". Yoongi grabbed a glass from under the bar and shoved some ice in it before filling it up with apple juice. He passed it to you as if to tell you that he still remembers that you're here.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you gave me the key because you were too lazy to figure it out on your own".

"The point is, I need it. Where is it?" Yoongi looked somewhat anxious as he wiped down the bar for the third time.

Jimin shrugs, reaching his arm over to take your drink from the table that you haven't touched.

It’s too sweet. He sipped it casually and looked over at you before landing his eyes towards Yoongi again. "I don't know, I threw it away, I found no use for it".

Yoongi crossed his arms frowned, "that's bullshit, you are lying, and you know it, you've always been a bad liar". Yoongi then looks at you, your arms still crossed as you lay your head there, if they didn't know any better, they would have assumed you were asleep. Except you laid there, silently listening.

Jimin then also frowns, "look I don't know what to tell you, it's been years since you gave me that thing. The truth is, I lost it." Jimin looks up at Yoongi but Yoongi scoffs.

"So, you threw it away or lost it? Come on Jimin, just give it to me, I know you have it". Yoongi looked right through Jimin's eyes, you looked over at both of them, you could tell there was tension in the air.

Jimin was silent and Yoongi sighed grabbing the drink that you obviously weren’t going to finish and pouring it into the sink before placing the glass in the dishwasher under the bar.

Yoongi spoke quietly but you could tell that his words held a lot of weight, "Promise me".

Jimin looked up, "I don't get why you are so obsessed with this key, I don't even have it!"

"Promise me that you don't have it" Yoongi looked at him, his facial expression was the look of hurt more than anything. You could tell that there was more to this than what Yoongi was letting on. You sat there next to them, waiting for Jimin to spill the beans about giving the key to you.

Jimin was hesitant for a second before strongly responding, "I promise I don't have it." Yoongi stood there silent before nodding, mumbling a soft "sorry" under his lips before going back to cleaning the bar, even though he already finished.

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"I can't believe you lied for me," You spoke as you walked around the dolphin tank outside, Jimin walking beside you.

"I didn't lie. I don't have it. You do." Jimin smiled at you brightly, although you could tell that something was bothering him. You both kept walking before Jimin looked at his watch, "I'm sorry I got to go, feel free to stay here as long as you want, Namjoon doesn't mind us staying after hours. Although you do realise our shift ended an hour ago, right?" Jimin smiled brightly as he looked down at you, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

You chuckled, "Yes I knew, I just like your company. Thanks for being there for me. I haven't known you long, but you made me feel comfortable on my first day" You smiled, it seemed like you and Jimin were going to become really good friends.

"I'll always be here Y/N... Anyways I'll see you at work tomorrow yeah? Have a nice night" Jimin waved goodbye and walked away.

You sighed, reaching for the key from your pocket.

"Might as well check it out while I still can?" You thought.

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It was late, really late and you found yourself questioning Jimin's earlier statement about being allowed here after hours. You wandered through the halls of the aquarium, following the directions Jimin and Taehyung showed you last time, careful not to make any loud noises to gain any attention.

The halls were cold, and you could hear were the sounds of your heels tapping against the hard floor. While walking, you felt your chest become heavy, looking around you started to hear weird sounds coming from the walls. You shrugged it off however, you've been in aquariums long enough to know that it could be anything and that it's never completely quiet.

Finally reaching your destination you head down the metal steps. You've never been to this part of the building apart from when Jimin and Taehyung took you, you suppose it's for private personnel only. Continuing down the steps you reach the door to the moonpool, the sounds of water can be heard dripping and sloshing from behind. Inserting the keys and turning the metal handle you slowly walked inside. It was darker than the last time you saw it. What was surprising was the glow worms on the roof of the moonpool illuminating the moonpool and stone walls that surrounded it. You didn't see them during the day. They were beautiful.

Walking along the gravel towards the moonpool, you took off shoes your socks and placed your backpack next to the moonpool. You sat on the edge, dipping your legs in as you rolled up your pants, so they don't get wet. You closed your eyes, feeling the water reach up to your kneecaps. The water was lukewarm, and the smell of sea salt radiating off of it.

What a long day.

If you were being honest, all of this was too much for you. You never thought you would say this, but you miss home. You miss Marina's cooking and weirdly enough, you miss your mother. She hasn't called, even texted since you left. You felt like you thought this would be different, the people here are nice but every so often you get reminded about the flaws of this world, the treatment of animals, – the dolphin – the uneasiness you felt about Julie and her intentions. Even Jimin and Yoongi, you didn’t want to cause a fight between them because of some stupid key.

The water had suddenly started to turn cold, starting from your feet you feel a rush of icy water spread to your knees, eliminating any prior warmth you felt. The dripping stopped, the sloshing of the water halted. You opened your eyes curiously to see a figure from the other side of the moonpool staring right at you. You looked right in its eyes. Time stopped, and you could barely see anything else but the wide golden piercing gaze of the creature. You sat there frozen in place. You don't know how long you stayed like this for, but it took a while to realise what was happening. It didn't say a word, but you could tell by its knowing facial expression that it somehow knows who you are. Looking down in the now murky water you could see an outline of a human’s body, his muscles and broad shoulders prominent underneath the dark blue scales that stretched over its torso. You continued to examine the long outline of a tale - a big tale at that - with the front looking slimy however you could guess that the back of the tale was sharp enough to cut through any piece of flesh that it would encounter. One aspect of the creature that seemed almost beautiful were some parts of his scales that were brighter than others, acting as a highlighter around his cheekbones and arms.

You didn't want to make any sudden movements, frightened that the creature would drag you under. Eat you. Kill you. You decided that it was now or never and spoke quietly under your breath, looking back up at its eyes that never left yours. "Hi, my name is Y/N". Your breath was shaky, and your lips were dry.

"It probably can't even understand you," You thought to yourself.

The creature stopped staring into your eyes and lowered its focus to your legs that were swaying in the water. You shivered, the cold air getting to you. Goosebumps appeared on your legs and arms and you could have sworn you sore the remnant of a smirk that appeared on its lips.

You suddenly had an idea.

Carefully, you looked up at the creature, "I'm just going to grab something out from my backpack, okay?" Slowly you stretched your arm out towards your backpack while maintaining eye contact with the creature. The creature stayed still, however you knocked something metal in your bag and it made a loud noise that echoed throughout the moonpool. The creature’s facial expression turned darker and it went full force towards you, grabbing your calves as it didn't let you go. It was close to your face, its golden eyes peering into yours as you could feel its grip and claws on your legs tighten, its body between your thighs leaning in on you. You breathed in slowly, feeling almost petrified, but somehow you knew the creature didn't mean any harm. It looked over at your hand that was inside your backpack. You waited a few seconds before slowly, lifting your hand out of the bag, to reveal a container of prawns that was meant to be your lunch today.

The creature's grip loosened from your calves as it watched you open the container, taking a prawn before slowly reaching over to the creature's lips. One of its hands let go of your calf as it held your hand, guiding it towards its lips before it opened its mouth biting the prawns head off. You looked at the creature, a little startled. Its teeth were sharper than a normal human, like razors. In fact, you looked closely at the details of the creature's face, noticing the similarities to that of a human. Everything was the same except for the scales on the sides of his face, neck and on his cheekbones. The outline of his eyes was darker though, making his golden eyes brighter than usual. It had brown locks of hair, wet but you could see it was starting to dry. He resembled a male in his 20s.

He finished the prawn quickly and looked back at the container, wanting more. You spoke softly, "have more if you would like".

He looked down at your hand and then back up at you as if it was asking you to feed him again. His grip on one of your calves was softer and you could feel his thumb running circles over your calf. You grabbed another prawn, reaching over to his lips as he was careful not to cut your fingers with his teeth as he ate the prawn.

You sat there, feeding him the rest as he grew more comfortable around you. His hand reached out of the water towards the gravel next to your thigh as he spelled out the words "Jungkook" on the gravel.

"Jungkook?" You questioned, "is that your name?". Jungkook looked up at you before placing his hand on your thigh.

"Yes", he answered. Your eyes widen in shock, you didn't think he could understand you. You frowned and asked him curiously, "could you understand me this whole time?".

He smirked slightly, "I'm not the best at this human language but yes, yes I could" He looked up at you, his eyes shining. You frowned, feeling a little messed around with since he could have at least answered you the many times you spoke to him. But then again you understood, he doesn't know you, and you don't know him.

His grip on your calf and thigh tightened as he started to pull you in the water. You freaked, holding on to the edge of the moonpool. "Wait, wait, wait! I can't get these clothes wet and I uhh, have to get going soon..." Jungkook frowned but stopped pulling. He let go of you.

"Promise me you'll come back?" He looked at you with a sad expression, lowering himself in the water.

You looked down at him as you took your legs out of the water and grabbed your bag with your shoes and socks.

"I promise"

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AN: I know I haven’t updated, but I do really wanna update more. I feel like this chapter was a good one, give me some feedback? :)

tags: @mjlock

#bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook #mermaid jungkook #siren jungkook #bts x reader #bts scenarios #masterlist #park jimin #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #jeon jungkook #kim namjoon #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #mermaids #sirens

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imalwaystiredzzz · 3 years

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C5: Sisyphus happy. Yan Zhongli x Reader

#genshin x reader

Warning: Yandere behavior, unhealthy relationships

< Sisyphus happy chapters >

Once, from a time long before records and memories were written on ink and paper, Morax walked upon vast lands rich in history, watered by tears of tragedy and love lost. He turns to an old woman who stood before her destroyed village, eyes downcast and hollow on bodies drowned by the war of an unrelenting sea and the mountain that does not bow.

Morax did not understand, maybe once when he had held a goddess’ body to his own, but to him that was one thing and this is another. This is love of a mortal that does not even know who the child that cried next door nor the man that walked past their door, this is to love a complete stranger and the love that Guizhong once had when she was still by his side.

“What must I do to learn the love of mortals?” He asks, voice devoid of emotion; genuine curiosity and the hope to understand beneath.

The old woman smiled, warm and full of wisdom as if her short years were thousands compared to the god. “To love mortals, one must sacrifice eternity and learn of the passing time. Of death and partings. The gods have forgotten that they may live long but even you have an end, it is the same thing that pains us yet we find delight in.”

He didn’t understand then, those words ring true and wise as Cloud Retainer’s advice to his ears on leading the people that he had now to care for. Even so, he still finds himself wondering, “What would Guizhong have done?”

In his heart, he knows that she would’ve understood and took a moment to explain; unlike the way time leaves nothing but confusion in its wake, only pondering and no straight answers?

Even as hundreds of years pass, when all that remains of that old woman is nothing but ashes on the soil and the land had been turned to marsh, the people traveling and settling in a mountain, and the war marching on to its bloody conclusion; Morax found that answer to be much like the dumbbell that he may never come to solve.

But once more, reminiscent of his unexamined love with the goddess had bloomed too late, fate had played him right into its hands.

Because the answer had come in the form of you- still a child, a bud in the nursery of glaze lilies under the morning sun. You and your small hands that gripped the end of his robes, with teary eyes that looked at the dying people and held these strangers hand in their last breath with as much intensity for a small comfort to let them know they did not die alone.

“Will the war end soon?” Your small voice asked him, even Mountain Shaper had not the stomach to look at a child’s plea for peace and spout lies.

“I am trying to end it, as fast as I can.”

“Then this is for you.” You reached into your pocket and gave him a dried glazed lily contained in glass, “thank you for trying though we cannot give much back.” You bow, as courtesy knowing that you had just talked to the very god that protected the lands you step on and ran back to the shack that housed the sick and injured, your parents much too busy to notice you had snuck out.

Blissfully unaware that the god of geo, gripping the gift in between his hands, amber eyes following your form and telling himself that humans have much to learn and yet they surprise him nonetheless, just like as his love used to tell him.

But even answers are confusing, much like a child who asks why is 1+1=2 and the process of it, he didn’t understand till he saw you once more. Not yet a lady but not quite the child that you used to be. Now you are the girl who provides healing, growing up to be a herbalist like your mother and no longer simply holding a basket of them for your father. Carefully, with your mortal hands you comfort the injured beyond salvation as the calamities of gods that hold much power rages on.

Surrounded by dying men of the war, miasma, curses and death lurking in the air, in his eyes you remained untouched. Unblemished, as if the air in your little bubble had been purified by innocence and unconditional love for the crowd of strangers, neither pitying them for death nor numb to their tragedy. Then for a second he thought he saw her - the glaze lilies and the goddess that he loved so much and he begins to wonder if she’s come back to him through you.

“I should thank you for treating the wounded.” He tells the man before him, the bags of herbs laying behind his form and a sigil in hand, “use this in times of need, when the people are crying and I am away, surely the adeptis are quick to answer and would not turn you away.”

“My lord, Rex Lapis, there is no need to thank us. Knowing that you protect the people is enough, we are just a family of healers who help the ones in need.” Your father was a grateful man, and he can see where you get your eyes, especially your kind heart who reaches out to those in need, not because he seeks power or his blessings.

“Even so, Liyue will remember your kindness but none more so than I, Rex Lapis.”

He does not know if you remember him nor what you did, only that when he dons a mortal face to take a walk in the calms before the storm, he finds himself wandering to your garden, mostly on cold nights where you would just sing to the lilies and watch them, with unfading enchantment, bloom.

In a distant memory of an old lover, he hears the same voice but now there stood you. Now a lady, barely a woman with your innocence and mischief.

And he knows that this is wrong, mortals are fleeting as the dust, that he can never grasp with his two hands. Wherever his heart is on anything, other than Liyue, it only ends in tragedy. And oh, how ironic of it all that if you really were his goddess that had found her way back to him, why this form? Why a mortal who is a flower that will wither compared to a mountain that does not crumble?

“It’s a beautiful song, pardon me for interrupting but may I know where you have learned it?”

“Only if you tell me what the god of earth is doing in a place like this, barely even concealed?” Playful, you smile at him playfully as if you knew all the time that he had spent staring from afar and he was not an immortal that could smite the very life out of those pretty eyes.

“The breeze carried your voice and I wondered where you had learned to entice it to your will.” He couldn’t really put a finger when it began, when your singing had lured him like a siren to the depth of the sea.

“You befriend the wind, unlike the earth, you do not command rather ask of it like a companion,” was your simple answer and he smiles like he has found something long lost. You drown him in your presence, but he is not breathless; rather he sighs filled with curiosity like a child who has more to learn from the world that he had been in for thousands of years.

You who had rekindled a reason for his actions, much like Guizhong. This love does not ruffle his heart out of his rib cage, the dust settles and it is as calm as you talking about herbs in this small patch of garden late at night and as calm as the things settle falling into place in his beloved city by the gentle waves of the sea.

“What happened to them after?” You ask your husband, the snow falls outside and you are oh so exhausted to the bone as if the cold had taken all your warmth. He smiles and brushes your cheeks that lost their flush and your skin cold as a corpse, his arms glows gold in the intricate cracks, and you know that this is a bedtime story - though not quite for the night but for the long winter.

The memory scratches at the back of your mind to be remembered, but a part of you warns that you wouldn’t like how it ends.

“According to the books, the lord of geo took his love to the heavens.” He finishes with a chuckle of the irony in it all, a kiss to your temple as your eyes drop, heavy and slumber dragging you to its clutches.

Then finally, Zhongli smiles to bid you goodnight.

He watches you sleep soundly. Sleep if humans can even call it that with the lack of breathing, as still as a corpse that had died peacefully in bed while he is left to wonder of a future that had things ended the way his winter story did.

War ensures losts. Victories demand sacrifices. And the price to pay was always his love.

Zhongli would like to believe that had you died of a natural cause: sickness, accident or of old age where he would have held your aging body, he could’ve had the strength to let you pass on.

Rex Lapis would have had your funeral handled by the esteemed WangSheng, and took your passing as another promise to meet on the other side.

But Morax knows, he could never really.

Never let you go, even after thousands of years and all that you know had returned to the soil. Even when the truths of history had been forgotten by the people and you are nothing but a distant whisper to this land, a footnote to his folklore.

Not even now, when every winter is a reminder of the way he held your cold body against his chest, “I worry about you.” You told him with a supposed to be parting smile, how pitiful must he be for a dying mortal that had not even lived half their life to worry about him.

“Why are you saying goodbye, my love? You aren’t supposed to say goodbye, not yet. It’s much too early,” He tells you with a broken laugh, the war is over like you had asked of him the first time. He is an archcon, the land is his to rule and care, and you are supposed to live many many peaceful years with him, but here you are the embers of war digs its claws in your frail body and had robbed you of life.

Why does the war take and take and take and he who fights only lose things that he keeps to heart?

He doesn’t relent, even if it means breaking the laws of nature itself.

Even when you wake in spring, and you look at him with those empty eyes and ask who he is. At Least you’re here, still there somewhere and it might take thousands of years and more, when the mountain has crumbled against time, one day he believes that you will wake again with love in your lips and warmth in your hands.

#yandere zhongli #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #yandere zhongli x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #geshin impact #genshin impact x reader

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enigma-im · 4 years

Text

Sucker Punched pt.2

Rating:Explicit Relationship: Alien X Female!Human Warning: Dirty talk, strong language, Alien/human relationship, alien sex

Word Count:4055

Pt. 1

--------------------------------

We soon part ways as our responsibilities drive us. He to fuck about doing whatever it is he does outside of groping me, I to finish up work before heading back to my place. My small one-bedroom, two-room home. Bigger than most, having the perk of being faculty, but smaller than anything earth could have given me. The large living room is nice to divide the space between the front door and where I sleep. I truly feel for the people who don't have that luxury. It feels too unsafe to be comfortable.

I fiddle about with a quick shower and a change of clothes, completely forgetting about Kurt for the time. It's not till I hear a rather intimidating knock at the door so I remember our plans. Cursing to myself I throw on a shirt before heading into the living room.

He pounds on the door again," For fuck sakes, hold on." I angrily right my clothes, untucking my hair, before grabbing the handle. I thrust the door open, my hair billowing in the breeze. I glare out at the tall buff alien who fills my doorway-perhaps the hallway as well. His teeth are poking through his small smirk, giving him a dorky charm. Kurt eyes me from head to toe, not hiding his appreciations though I lack effort in my outfit.

"Beautiful as ever, though I know you never disappoint," he raises a brow. It's still strange to hear him speak English, though its through a translator. I find I miss the rough tone of his normal language, it never failing to send chills down my spine. Then again, who isn't a sucker for a deep voice?

"Flattery will get you nowhere," I scoff.

"I find the crimson hue of your cheeks to be something, like an incentive really," he tilts forward. The alien towers over me like no other, feeling like he is boxing me in with just his height. I find myself leaning towards him despite his natural intimidation.

"If I knew you were this much of a flirt I would have forgone getting our translators fixed."

"Oh, prefer my other attempts of getting into your pants better?"

"So confident that you could get into my pants? A flirt and cocky, how unattractive."

"the lies you spill from your mouth almost mask the arousal that practically oozes from you when I'm around," he quickly grasps the doorframe as he leans in close," Admit it, love, you want me bad." his proximity short-circuits my brain for a moment, just long enough for him to chuckle. I can smell his musk, it muddling my brain as he presses a gentle, loud kiss to my cheek. I can't help but sigh in defeat, the bastard has me there.

I take a step back from him, his glare following me as I turn towards the kitchen. I stop at the fridge, glancing over at the frowning Kurt still perched at the door.

"Well, come in. I rather not have my coworkers question while a nearly 7ft alien is guarding my doorway," I grin. He huffs, dropping his head with a shake before coming over. He closes the door behind himself, walking towards the couch to plop down. I look through the fridge for literally anything to eat. Never entertaining guests before now seems to have hindered my dinner plans.

I settle on some bullshit microwave dinners, almost mortified in having to do so. While they 'cook' I lean against the counter to watch Kurt. For a moment he looks around the space, not really reacting to anything. Once he grew bored he turns to me. He cocks a brow in question.

"I believe I was promised some wooing," I break the silence.

"Was what I said at the door not enough," he answers. I scoff at his response, turning back to the meals. Perhaps he was all talk and no action. How disappointing, I expected a lot more from him. I won't lie and say he hasn't grown on me, like a tumor. Being a constant thorn in my side has proven fruitful in his quest for my affection, but if he intends to be a stick in the mud then I have to quarrels tossing him to the side.

I barely hear him when he sneaks up behind me, cupping my hips as his groin meets my back. I bite my cheek to not respond, way too curious to see where this is going. I feel his breath on my neck, raising my hairs as he exhales near my ear.

"Since the day we met, I have not stopped thinking about you. You have invaded everything I do. When I sleep, I see your face. I dream of your curves against mine, feel your skin under my lips. Every night I have felt your sweet caress to my cock, on the verge of climax just as I wake. I think I can escape you in my wake but my thoughts only flow for you. I can only ponder how you would taste. Would you be sweet like I imagine, would you cum like how I picture," he licks just behind my ear," are these words good enough for you? I am not a romantic man, but you bring me to my knees and make me wanna do things I never even considered before."

I stutter on a breath, gnawing on my cheek," l-like what?" He grinds into me, pressing his hardening cock against my lower back. He thrills me more as he reaches under my shirt to palm my stomach. I can't bring myself to move, barely making a sound as he licks and nibble. Kurt teases my neck with his tusk before pressing the blunt tips to my skin, dimpling the area enough to wretch a gasp from me.

"I can smell your cunt," he purrs as his hands trail up. His fingertips barely touch my bra when I choke on a inhale. The anticipation of having his large palms on me almost takes my breath away. He chuckles huskily in my ear, rubbing his cheek to mine as he leans over to watch himself. He slowly slides his fingers under my cups, teasing the skin as he engulfs my breast. I'm sure he can feel my heart beating fast against my ribs, thumping loudly near his fingers. He hums as he palms and squeezes me. I sigh, falling against him. My head rests on his shoulder, tilting for his lingering kisses.

We both startle as the microwave beeps. I stand straight, suddenly ripped from the haze of building tension. He freezes as I do, his hands slowly trailing down as he worries about my next reaction. I look up at the meals resting in the finished device. I then look down at my clenched hands, finally noticing the throbbing between my legs and the hardon pressed to my back. I chew my lip in thought, really thinking hard on saying 'forget dinner'.

Before I can overthink this I tear his hands from my shirt and twist in his hold. I look up at his startled face, nearly laughing at his wide-eyed expression. I cast a glance at the tent in his pants, grinning as I meet his eyes. Quickly I leap and grab his horn, jerking him closer to my level with a Cheshire grin.

"Are you going to ravish me like I deserve, I refuse to waste my time with unworthy men," I ask near his lips. He looks a bit dazed as he stares down at my mouth.

"Yes," he answers.

"I demand you take me to my room before I change my mind then. I expect nothing but the best, understood?"

His lips part as he meets my eyes with wonder," Yes, ma'am." Fast as lightning he scoops me up in his strong arms and whisks me away to the bedroom, meals left forgotten.

Kurt attacks my lips while maneuvering in the dark. His hands on my thighs are scorching, also helpful in my grinding against his stomach. I fist his hair, twisting his head to delve my tongue into his mouth. His groans muddle my brain, throwing my thoughts in disarray.

I'm startled when he tilts forward. I panic, grabbing his shoulder tightly as my back suddenly meets the bed. His chuckle against my neck annoys me, taking me away from the lust riddled thinking I was drowning in before. As his tongue slathers up my neck I grab his horn, dragging him up.

"Yes," he asks displeased," do I need to woo you with more words, or am I free to satisfy my curiosity?"

I snort," Curiosity?" His fangs poke through his smile, a purr rolling out between his lips.

"I'm quite interested in seeing if you match the women of my kind," he lowers down to press a teasing kiss to my jaw.

"How about we don't talk about other women while in bed," I pull him back again. His cocky grin drops to another annoyed grimace.

"We can just not talk at all, that seems to be a safe bet," he suggests, wiggling his horn out of my hold. His lips press just above my shirt collar, his teeth dimpling my skin as he nibbles. The tips of his fingers tease around the end of my shirt, trailing his claw along the slightly revealed flesh.

I can hardly think of a snarky response, completely invested in his attentions. His tongue on my neck and his hands palming my hips. My nails dig into his shoulders, scratching down to his elbows.

"Ku-," I'm interrupted by a bell. We both pause in confusion till a loud knocking follows. I sigh, sitting up. Kurt quickly grabs me, keeping me where I am.

"No, ignore it," he growls. He quiets my protests by pulling my hips into his, grinding his hard-on against me. A thrill shoots up my spine, muddling any thoughts of the door.

"Hello," I faintly hear a voice call from outside the room. I freeze again, grabbing at Kurt. He tries to bring my attention back to him, biting at my shoulder.

"Just real quick," I smile apologetically. He answers with a growl, bucking his hips more. Fed up I grab his horn and drag him away. "real quick," I scold. He huffs then sighs before rolling off.

I hop out of bed, a wiggle in my step. I share in Kurt's frustrations, stomping towards the door with frustration. I rip open the door, already fed up with the upcoming conversation.

"Hello," the slim techie from the other day answers. His appearance at my door is startling enough to erase my ire.

"Hey," I respond confused," What are you doing here?"

"Just checking in. The update was sent out yesterday and I was hoping to get input on it," he answers.

"Works well enough, I haven't had any issues with it. I have to agree with you though, Kurt has a 'way' with words," I chuckle.

He laughs as well," He was a bit too vulgar for my taste. It brought on a very awkward situation."

As we talk I faintly hear steps behind me. My suspicions are verified when the techie tenses up. He looks over my shoulder, giving an uncomfortable smile.

"Seeso," Kurt growls.

"Ker'chak," Techie answers," How is your translator h-holding up?"

"Good," Kurt sneers," feel free to leave now."

"Kurt," I scold," chill out." Kurt continues sneering at the poor lad, not doing anything to hold back his anger at the man's presence.

"Alright then," Kurt grabs my hips, pulling me to his chest," Seeso I wish to get back to wooing my woman and you standing here is preventing that so I say nicely, piss off." before either one of us can answer Kurt slams the door shut and lifts me off my feet.

"That was rude as hell, you couldn't wait, like, five minutes," I slap his chest.

"I am extremely hard right now so excuse me for being a little impatient," he chuffs. I snort, stretching up to bite his neck. I tighten till he hisses.

"Good things come to those who wait," I press a kiss to my teeth marks.

He groans," And you can't get what you don't take."

Kurt tosses me onto the bed, quickly climbing over me. He doesn't take his time, ripping my shirt off swiftly to lather attention on my breast. His sharp tusk pricks my skin as he sucks on a nipple. I pet his hair back from his face, watching him. His eyes open to meet mine, growling as his swirls his tongue.

"You are quite handsome, I'll admit," I hum. His sudden purr startles me, along with the pinching of his claws on my thighs.

"Well thank you," he mumbles, pressing wet kisses to my chest.

I chuckle at his excitement, fisting his hair before pushing him down my body. He resists a bit to press his lips down a line of my stomach. He crawls off the bed and onto his knee. As he reaches my pants he nuzzles his cheek to my hips. His purrs increase, his hands massaging my thighs.

"Fuck," I groan," stop, it's too cute."

"Cute," he scoffs," No one has ever accused me of being cute." he unbuttons my pants, tugging them down my legs.

"Well you are, so get used to that," I tease. He hums in thought, a small smile ghosting his lips.

"As long as you are the only one saying it then I guess its fine," he mumbles. Before I can tease some more he tugs off my underwear. "Speaking of cute," he smirks. The smug smile makes me roll my eyes, biting off a chuckle.

"Yea, yea," I scoot out of his hold," Get on your back."

"Oh my back," he quirks a brow," now why should I do that?"

"Because I said so," I shrug. From his place on the floor, he rests his chin on the bed, grinning that mischievous smile.

"Since when did you become the boss," he says. I regard him with a teasing smirk. I crawl towards him, grabbing his horn to draw him back.

"Since I decked you in the face, now get on the bed big boy," I press a swift kiss to his lips," I'll make it worth your while."

He hums," When you put it like that." Kurt crawls onto the bed, resting on his back with his hands behind his head. He smirks down at me, tilting his head. "Now what, my sexy female?" I don't answer, instead of crawling up his body. I sit on his upper chest, looking down at him between my knees. I pet at his face as he looks from me to my crotch then back.

"this my prize for following orders? Feels more like a prize for you," he looks back at my crotch, licking his lips despite his words. I pet his bottom lip, pressing my thumb into his mouth. He wastes no time sucking on it.

"What? Don't want my cute pussy on your cute face," I quirk a brow. He nibbles on my thumb before pushing it out of his mouth. He presses one kiss to it then grabs my thighs.

"Well when you put it like that," he chuckles. I yelp when he quickly drags me over his face. Wasting no time delving between my folds with his tongue. At his first taste, he groans loudly, his hips bucking behind me.

"I'll take it you’re a fan," I huff, petting his head.

"I will dine on you every night as long as you stay wet just for me," he growls, licking another stripe. His fingers dig into my skin, showing off his enjoyment. As he laps at me I can't help but grind into him, biting back groans and cries of pleasure. His teeth poking at the cleft of my thighs adds a certain thrill to all this. His alien-ness becoming extremely apparent now. I look down at him between my legs, his eyes closed in pure enjoyment.

I find myself leaning back, holding onto his raised knees. I watch him, enraptured at his monstrous appearance. Moans leave me lips, my insides burning only for him.

"Kurt," I groan," you look so sexy like this." his eyes creak open a moment.

"You should speak for yourself," he hums. My hips grind on his mouth, a cry ripping from my throat.

"I'm close," I lean back up. I grab onto his horns, pulling him into my thrusts. His hands slide from my thighs to my ass, guiding my grinds. As his fingers knead my skin I burst. I shout, throwing my head back as I yell into the room. He purrs under me, lapping up every drop as I cum for him.

I nearly fall into the wall, barely catching myself on my hand. I pant, resting my head onto the cold wall. Catching my breath I look down at Kurt, smiling at his wide grin.

"You look so happy," I mumble. He kisses my mound.

"Of course," he answers. He adjusts me down his chest, sitting up to hold me close. He rubs my back, kissing my lips.

Once I come back to myself I react to his attention. I pull him into a strong kiss, delving my tongue into his mouth as I pull on his hair. His cock pokes excessively against my ass.

"Your turn," I grin. He hums before I push him back onto the bed. I crawl between his legs, grabbing at his pants. The anticipation builds as my curiosity peaks. What could he look like?

At my hesitation, he speaks," You good?" I bite my lip. Instead of answering I tug his pants down. His cock immediately slaps back against his stomach, then bobbing just over it.

His cock is fairly thick, long but his girth is more attention-grabbing. Along his shaft are nubs that really pique my interest. I grab him, huffing at his growl. I thumb the numbs, noticing their firmness. I slide up him, pinching at his spear-like tip.

"Interesting," I mumble to myself.

Kurt's head pops up," What?" his nerves revealed in his tone. I sit down on my stomach between his legs, pumping his cock a few times as I look up at him.

"Don't worry, it's a good interesting. You are fucking lovely," I kiss his shaft. He twitches in my hold, his head falling back as he purrs again. "You are all around the sexiest man I have ever been with," I smile. He groans again, bucking into my hand. I adore his reactions oh so much.

Too eager I wrap my lips around him, sucking on his tip as I jerk him off. His grunts fuel me, sending jolts of pleasure to my crotch. His taste is unlike human men, having a sweetness to it that I wasn't expecting. I choke him down into my mouth, feeling his tip hit the back of my throat. I bob, sucking on his cock with great interest. His noises grow in frequency, making me gain tempo.

As his hips begin to buck into me he lifts me from his cock. "Stop," he groans," stop." I rest my head on his thigh, watching him catch his breath. I trace a vein on his hip, grinning like a fool.

"Did ya like it," I ask. He tilts his head to look at me.

"Don't ask stupid questions and get on my lap," he pants. Instead of straddling him, I crawl up him, lying beside him on my back. He turns towards me confused.

"I want you to be on top," I shrug. He rolls his eyes, turning to crawl on top of me.

"I figured you would want to be on top," he leans down to trail kisses along my neck. I comb my fingers through his hair, my other hand reaching between us.

"Now why would you think that," I grab his girth, jerking him a bit. He doesn't answer, growling with his teeth bared. "Now, enough talking," I turn towards his ear, whispering," I want you inside me." he hisses, his tip prodding between my folds.

He presses in slowly, both of us feeling every thrilling inch. Our sigh of satisfaction when he settles to the hilt is echoing. We give each other a second, not wanting the moment to end so soon.

"Fuck," he pants," you are more perfect than I dreamed." he rolls his hips for emphasis. I hug him close.

"Yea," I huff," you too."

He chuckles," may I ravage you now?"

"Is that what you guys are calling it these days," I snort.

"shut up," he growls before pulling back and bucking forward. I choke on a gasp as he fills me so quickly. He repeats, thrusting hard and fast. His cock is as fulfilling as I hoped, his nubs rubbing splendidly against my walls. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling his body ever so close. My nails dig into his hard skin, almost piercing it.

He suddenly stills, his breath stuttering. "Maybe you shouldn't have sucked my dick," he laughs.

"Yea," I snort," you promised me a ravaging. we barely even started and you're ready to end it."

"Shut up," he pulls out, unwrapping my arms from around him. I watch him confused, almost disappointed. He slithers down my body between my legs where he presses his two fingers inside me. I sigh, straying off my future disappointment as he begins fingering me.

"stalling, big boy," I laugh. He doesn't answer, leaning down to suck my clit as his fingers glide in and out. His claws rake gently along my walls, tingling me with satisfaction. He rumbles with a purr, nibbling on my clit.

"K-Kurt," I grab his horn," I don't wanna cum on your face again." he withdraws his fingers, licking them clean before crawling back up. I grab his face as he nears, ready to tease him. He beats me to it, cupping his hand over my mouth.

"I underestimated you temptress," he nuzzles my cheek," now let's try this again." he thrusts in again with a strained groan. He bucks quickly, reaching down to rub at my clit to finish me off. The startling amount of pleasure makes me reach out and pull him close.

"Kurt, fuck," I cry out," I take it back, you are doing great." he curls on his next thrust, laughing as he does.

"yea, I'm close too," he kisses my cheek.

We both cry into each other, our hot breaths ghosting over the other's skin. I fall first, unsurprisingly. I clench him everywhere. Locking down on his cock, pulling him close with my arms. I shout out his name, rolling into a cry as he pulls out all of my pleasure.

He falls soon after, bucking wildly before stilling. Something hot leaks inside, pulsing with him. It paints my insides as his whole body tenses then relaxes.

"Bless the heavens," he captures my lips fiercely," and my the heavens bless you."

"That sounds like a great compliment," I kiss him back.

"Highest one I can think of right now," he laughs. He soon pulls out, the feeling of him spilling from inside me makes me shiver. He then rolls over, pulling me along. I rest on his chest, hooking a leg over his hips. He grabs my thigh, petting along it as we settle.

"so," he draws out. I look at him from the corner of my eye.

"so," I answer similarly to him.

"am I a keeper," he cocks a brow.

I hum," not sure yet. You still have to make me breakfast in the morning."

"damn," he looks to the ceiling," I'm a shit cook."

"Shame," I shrug," guess I will have to teach you another thing then."

"Another thing?"

"Don't worry about it," I tease. He turns in my hold, facing me dead on.

"Did you not like how I ravaged you," he asks. I shrug again. He answers with a growl, rolling us so I straddle his lap. He pets along my thighs. "I guess you will have to show me how it's done then," he teases. I lean down, pressing a kiss to his nose.

"I guess I will."

-----------------------------------------

Finally, Jesus! It took me forever to write this.

Pt. 1

Check out my Archive | Masterlist | Main Blog

#monster boyfriend #alien boyfriend #large buff alien #alien x human #exophilia #Enigma-IM #sucker punched pt.2

331 notes · View notes

chaseatinydream · 3 years

Text

pirate king (67) || atz

Your walk back to the pier your ship is at is completely silent.

The fortune teller hadn’t awoken for a while, but from the way she was still breathing you assumed that she was still alive, merely exhausted from her fortune telling, so you had left your shawl draped around her shoulders, tucking her into it before you had exited the shack and made your way back.

You stop for a while to stand at the end of the docks, overlooking the ocean as the waves lap against the stone. Looking into the watery depths, you frown, the water shifts and roils beneath you, and for a second you see someone staring back at you as the surface of the black water ripples, hair made of sea foam, eyes dark like the bottomless depths of the ocean where no light ever reaches. You blink in confusion, lean further to look more closely, but before you can catch a clearer glimpse the water swirls and another wave crests; and the image is gone.

“Looking for one of the souls of the dead, dearie?”

You turn around to see an old woman standing there, a kind smile on her face that make her wrinkles crease. She has a basket of sweet, vibrantly colored fruits tucked under one arm and you frown, shake your head slowly. “No... I was just looking. What do you mean, souls of the dead?”

“Well, what you’re standing next to right now is a shrine set up in the sea goddess’ name.” You glance over to your side and sure enough, there’s a small structure set up there. Squatting down to look at the interior more clearly, there are knotted ropes hanging from the sides of the shrine, and you run your finger along the rough material thoughtfully. “What are these?”

“Knots from a ship’s rigging, to pray for a smooth journey and godspeed.” The elderly woman answers you, shuffling next to you. She holds out the basket and drops one fruit at a time silently into the dark water, each one making a soft splash and you tilt your head, watching the waves carry the fruits away from the harbor. “What are you doing?”

“This is where land meets the sea.” The elderly woman says quietly as the last fruit, a bright yellow mango, falls from her hands and into the water with a splash. “Where people used to light lanterns and push them into the sea, to guide the spirits of the dead home, until a ship caught aflame when the waves pushed one too close to it. Now people just light candles.” You look down to see burnt out stubs of wax at your feet, each for a person lost to the waves. “Where people make offerings to the sea goddess, for whatever reason they might have.”

The fortune teller’s words come back to you. “As if human offerings such as fruit or even gold would be of anything of worth to a god. They have no need for it.” You find yourself repeating under your breath, but the old woman appears to hear it and shakes her head.

“Offerings have never about giving the gods something they need.” She says quietly, looking out over the sea, eyes following yours, to the line where the black sea swallows the night - or is it the other way around? “The essence of it has always been giving up,” your eyes flicker to her, “laying down something precious to you in hopes of being able to reach something dearer to your heart. It is proof of your devotion, an offering of your longing, a manifestation of the true desires of your human heart.”

You stay silent for a moment, listening to the sounds of the waves crash against the stone wharf. “A manifestation,” you repeat slowly after her, “of the true desires of the human heart.”

The old woman nods, eyes fixed on the gloom before you. “The only things that I believe can move the hands of gods,” she says, so soft that the swirl of water beneath you almost drown her words out, “is the human heart, because that is the one thing they neither have nor understand. Look at the forces of nature,” she gestures at the sea churning beneath you with a hand, “the sea does not discriminate against who sails its waters. Whether young or old, good or bad, rich or poor, the seas drag them all beneath their waves regardless.”

That’s morbid, you think to yourself.

“But us humans, we pray and hope and desire so badly, and sometimes, once in a blue moon, a miracle happens.” She adds on, with a longing smile. “Inexplicable things that are impossible to explain. What other way but the gods?”

You nod slowly in understanding, glancing back down the way you had come, remembering the fortune teller’s eyes full of hatred and spite when she had been speaking about the gods. Who truly understands the gods, who really knows their true nature? Who knows them for who they are, and not just what they are?

They don’t have names, nor do they have eternal souls… no one calls upon them for who they are, only what they are.

For some reason, you think you understand now.

“And you?” You ask softly, letting your gaze drop back to the candles at your feet, wondering just how many the seas have taken. “What is it that you desire from the sea?”

Something stirs in you, probing, and you look at the old woman curiously. She laughs, tucking her basket back under her arm. “Just my young grandson who sailed on his first voyage a year back. There was a storm, and he hasn’t come back.” She smiles, exhales a little shakily. “My son told me to give up hope, that he’s gone, lost to sea... but I can’t. I won’t give up till the seas return my boy, dead or alive.”

A tiny smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“You’re not losing hope.” You whisper, gazing out at the sea once more. “And your desire to see him again is strong.”

She makes a noise, waving you off. “He’s my only grandson.” She smiles warmly at you. “He is my family after all.”

You turn away from her, looking down the pier to look at the where the Treasure sits on the waves, back to where your family is. “He’ll come back soon.” You tell her quietly. “I can’t promise anything but... he will.”

The old woman gasps a little, then beams at you, small tears budding up in the corners of her eyes. “Thank you, dear.”

“No, thank you for talking to me tonight.” You reply, bowing to her. “I’ll be going now.”

She waves as you begin to walk away, back to the dock the Treasure waits. “Remember the essence of an offering,” she calls after you, and you hear her last words to you drifting over on the sea breeze.

“It is sacrifice.”

>>>

You run into someone the second you step back aboard the Treasure.

“Chin Hae!” You startle a little, turn to see your master marching furiously over to you across the deck. His face is twisted with worry and anger, and he stops just in front of you, practically in your face. “Where have you been?” He’s just shy of shouting now, and for a second you think how lucky you are that no one is out on the deck to hear him. You look at him, eyes red with lack of sleep, face drawn tight with exhaustion and weariness and your heart throbs painfully in your chest.

“- why did you sneak off the ship in the middle of the night, without anyone to accompany you, no less?” His voice starts to pitch higher and higher with barely restrained emotion, cracking a little on the end. “What if something happened to you? I went out of my mind with worry when I looked all over the ship for you and you weren’t there, why, I was about to wake captain to sound the alarm, and you just stroll back onto the ship all fine and dandy, and-”

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull him close, resting your cheek on his shoulder gently, closing your eyes as you breathe in deep. The floral and herbal fragrance of him fills your lungs, and you smile quietly. Everything is just still... just quiet.

“I’m dying.” You say out loud for the first time. The words feel strange on your tongue, but right, as if you already know this is a fact. “I’m... really about to die.”

The only future is death. It comes as the storm approaches… on the horizon of the sea.

“What do you mean?” Your master asks, suddenly confused as his hands come up to grip your shoulders tight, urgency and desperation in his voice. “Chin Hae, where did you go?”

“The fortune teller from last time.” You tell him softly, pressing your face into his shoulder as if that can hide you from all the troubles brewing on your horizon. “She said I’m going to die, Master. That all the paths set before me only lead to death. That there’s no other way.”

“That’s bullshit.” San retorts instantly through gritted teeth. “What does a voodoo fortune teller know? No one knows the future-”

“Master.” You cut him off quietly, pulling away from him just a little so that you can look into his eyes, his hands still trembling at your shoulders. “It’s the truth, I can feel it. She’s telling the truth, and the prophecy she gave me... it’s going to come to pass soon. I know it.”

“How?” He asks, voice breaking. “How do you know? You can’t just give up hope like this, Chin Hae. I can’t, I won’t. I can’t just sit around, doing nothing and twiddling my thumbs while I just watch you die, can I? Even if it’s hopeless, even if everything says no, I can’t.” A single tear of anguish spills over, rolls down his cheek. “You’re one of the crew, my apprentice, our family.”

You think of the old woman standing at the pier, basket of fruits in hand as she stares out to sea, waiting for her grandson to come home. The oceans are bigger than the mind can fathom, more treacherous than a den of lions, and yet she still waits, because what else can she do? Her heart refuses to settle, and now, you understand your master’s pain.

“I know. And I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve said.” You bump his hand lightly with your wooden one, and he looks down at it with wet eyes, chewing at his bottom lip. “I won’t ask you to stop, but I don’t want you to feel like it’s your fault when the inevitable happens.”

“We should tell captain.” San reiterates, more insistently this time. Your eyes flick up to him urgently, mouth already opening to disagree but your master shakes your shoulders lightly. “Captain deserves to know, at least. You’re his crew mate, and though it’s difficult for him to show it, he cares for you and you’re precious to him.”

“That is exactly,” You reply quietly, “why I can’t tell him. There was once he thought he was going to lose me and...” you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to shake away the painful images in your mind of your captain’s tears, the desperation in his sobs, and force yourself to continue. “I can’t do that to him, Master.”

“And you dying on him all of a sudden is supposed to make things better?” He asks incredulously, and you flinch. “Chin Hae, you can’t make me believe that keeping this secret is the best thing to do. What about Wooyoung? He loves you!”

You suck in a breath, sighing. “I told him I didn’t love him back.” You answer, staring over your master’s shoulder, quite unable to meet his eye. “His feelings will die with time, and he’ll find someone else-”

“But do you?” San cuts you off sharply, and you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, hesitant. His laugh rings in your ears, hand warm in yours and the sturdiness of his shoulder as you rest your head there. “Do I...” You whisper quietly into the air between the two of you, before you shake your head. “Does it matter? In the end, nothing will come out of it.”

“Wooyoung’s feelings might die over time.” San affirms, and your eyes widen slightly with surprise; you’d expected him to say the contrary. “But I can promise you, it won’t be in this lifetime. Give him a hundred, no, maybe a thousand years.” Your heart cracks. “And then those feelings will die long after he’s dead. I know my best friend.” He says with so much conviction that you feel tears pricking at your eyes. “He loves you specially, differently, too deeply, I’m afraid. While that might not be a wholly good thing, I can tell you this,” his eyes burn into yours, “you are the first woman he’s loved is his entire life, and will probably be the only woman he loves in his entire life.”

“San, stop, please.” You beg, holding up a hand. Your master falls silent abruptly at the sound of his name, but he doesn’t look like he regrets anything he said one bit. “So what if he loves me? Nothing is going to come of it. I’m going to die, Master.”

“And I don’t want you to live like you’re already dead.” He insists, and you frown, looking up at him. “I don’t want you to give up hope that you might live. Too many people, myself included,” he bops you on the nose gently, even though his eyes are luminous with tears, “love you too much. If you’ve given up on yourself, at least don’t give up for us. I’m not giving up until you’re dead, Chin Hae.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, fighting back tears. “Okay.” His arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close until you’re cradled against him, head resting against his shoulder. “I promise.”

You’ve made another promise a long time ago to your captain, one that you don’t think you can keep. Promises are broken all the time, sailors leaving for the sea and promising to come home, a promise to a husband or wife to love the other forever, but this promise, you think, you can keep.

San pulls away, wipes the tears from your eyes and sniffles down at you. “So what about captain?” He asks, and you sigh, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“I’ll... I’ll tell him.” You say, gripping the fabric of your shirt tight. “Not now, though. It’s right after Yunho’s near death experience and captain is still shaken. He hates feeling helpless, and if I told him now...” Your voice trails off.

San sighs.

“I feel like there will never be a ‘right’ time for something like this.” He brushes the dirt from your shoulders, before one of his hands drop down to hold yours tight. “And I hate to say that I agree, but you’re right. Please just... make sure he knows.”

“I will.” You say, before you drop his hand and turn back towards the sick bay. “Come on, let’s get to bed. I’m tired from my little late night escapades and I’m sure you are too from looking for me.”

You hear San’s laugh for the first time in a long while. “That’s because you’re such a hassle to look after.” He pinches your cheek as he falls into step beside you. “And I want to keep looking after you forever, so you can’t give up, alright?”

You nod, trying to ignore the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. “I’m going to annoy you as long as I can.”

Later, when the two of you are in the darkness of the sick bay and you’re fumbling about for your pillow, you hear a soft ‘scoot over’ and you do. A few seconds later, San slides into the sheets next to you and pokes you on the nose.

“Stuffed animals make people feel better.” He whispers to you, even though the room is empty save for the sound of the waves lapping against the hull of the ship. “I’m going to be yours tonight, so just hug me all you want.”

You look at him for a second, a dark shape outlined against the faint light coming from the potholes, and trace his face with your eyes, committing every feature to memory. Then you smile, open your arms wide and wrap them around him. “You’re just doing this for free hugs, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been discovered.” San gasps in mock horror, before one of his hands come up to card gently through your hair. “Go to sleep. We’ll face tomorrow when it comes together.”

“Okay.” You say softly, eyelids already heavy as you snuggle against his warmth. “Together.”

“Together.” He repeats after you, and the two of you drift into sleep as the rocking of the ship lulls the two of you into dreamland.

>>>

You’re woken the next morning by a commotion outside the ship.

“What’s going on?” You ask blearily, sitting up in your bed. The noise is raucous, awfully loud. Your master’s face is pressed to a pothole, hair still mussed from sleep - he must have awoken not long before you - but when he turns back to you, he’s wearing a wide, happy grin.

“I don’t really know, but apparently a ship that’s been missing for a while has come back to town.” He says and something in you skips a beat. Stumbling out of bed and over to the window, you squeeze there next to your master and look out.

Another vessel, not nearly as big as the Treasure, limps into the docks next to you. It looks worse for wear, shoddy patching done on the hull and you can see that it’s entire main mast has had to be replaced, but it’s still here.

The gangplank lowers, and the one man fights his way off the ship, dashing down before the wood is fully set in place. He stumbles once, picks himself up, and dashes down the gangplank so fast his legs are a blur. You follow him with your eyes, heart warming, until you see who he’s headed towards.

You gasp.

The old woman from yesterday is standing there with a basket of fruits in hand, frozen in shock as the young man barrels his way towards her. Just shy of crashing into her he stops, panting, before gently, with shaking hands, he wraps his arms around her, sobbing into her shoulder. The old woman bursts into tears, clinging onto him tightly as well, crying for all she’s worth.

“I knew you were coming back, I just knew it...” You hear faintly over the wind as her grandson chides her for still waiting at the harbor, running gentle fingers over her wrinkles and asking if she’s been sleeping well, if she’s been eating well, if her back still hurts.

For the first time in a long while, you smile.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #hongjoong seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez pirate king #w; ot8 #w; pirate king #w; fanfiction

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micamicster · 2 years

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I really wanted to be shitty and make you do Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but instead let's do the tried and true and do Prufrock

ok but i love prufrock! I could probably answer this ask without even rereading the poem, but I'll take the excuse to reread it <3

There's so much in this poem to choose from. I used to have "We have lingered in the chambers of the sea/ By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown/Till human voices wake us, and we drown" written on the back of my notebook in high school. And my grandpa used to say "I have grown old, I have grown old, I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled" to me all the time.

But I think my favorite line has to be "Let us go then, you and I/ When the evening is spread out against the sky/Like a patient etherized upon a table." I just love how it sets the tone for the entire poem so perfectly, lays out the evening for the lovers, and then complicates it and makes it strange and frightening. So good!

Poetry ask game!

#thanks for sending this one!#and thanks for not sending the rime of the ancient mariner lol i have to get stuff done today eventually <3 #poetry ask game

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rockhoochie · 4 years

Text

Title: Anything and Everything

Link: On AO3

Square Filled: Tongue Fucking

Pairing: Dean Winchester/YN

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Fingering, Oral Sex (M/F), Tongue Fucking, Squirting, Unprotected Sex (seriously, just be safe), Marijuana, mention of prescription narcotic.

WC: 8,290

Created For @spnkinkbingo

A/N: Well...this escalated quickly! The story is told in alternating POV between Dean and Reader - Reader’s is regular text, Dean’s is italicized. I debated on splitting this into parts due to the word length, but...well, I’m impatient, and I’m really excited to share this with all of you! Plus, I think it flows better if it’s read all in one sitting 😉

This fic is dedicated to @fangirlxwritesx67 - remember that drabble prompt you sent me like, two months ago, that was Dean and reader laying on a comfortable floor, listening to music, and he starts playing with her hair, and they have a first kiss? Well, here’s your drabble 😄 Thank you for the inspiration!

And thank you everyone for reading! Drop me a line, let me know what you think - I love hearing from you ❤ ~Sarah

(’Lay Lady Lay’ music and lyrics © Bob Dylan, 1969)

I set a kettle on the stove to boil.

Thank god Donna has this place, and thank god that we were so close. We’ve been here for days now, nursing our wounds: Sam had a bruised rib and a nasty gash on his torso. Dean had a concussion and a dislocated shoulder. I'd been flung against a wall - I don’t remember much because I'd been knocked out hard, unconscious for hours - but by some miracle managed to come out of it with only a few ugly bruises and a migraine. Not our worst injuries by a longshot, but we’d figured since we had a home base, we may as well take advantage of it. We’d packed up yesterday, planning on heading out this morning, but an incoming snowstorm kept us from venturing out - it was half a day's drive, and even Dean couldn’t deny that the Impala doesn’t handle best on icy roads.

I like it here. It’s so quiet. And dark. No sirens or traffic, no various and questionable motel noises. No glare of city lights marring the night sky. The only light outside is coming from the moon, the only sounds are the ones I make. I look out the window, wondering when the storm will move in - the moon is full, its brightness gleaming off acres of driven snow that glints and glimmers against an indigo sky. Normally, a stillness like this is a warning, a silence this pure a screaming harbinger - but I don’t feel any threat here. No forebodings, no gut-nettling intuitions.

It’s peaceful. I’m peaceful. If I ever leave this life behind me, if I’m lucky enough to dodge all the bullets and claws and teeth and blades, I’ll settle somewhere up here, find a small house on a lake that’s tucked away from the rest of the world. He’d love that. And we could just be, live out our days and years together, work stupid pedestrian jobs to pay stupid everyday bills. I’ll plant a garden and he can restore classic cars while we raise a family and just...live...

The kettle sings and hisses, and outside, snow begins to fall in fat, feathery clusters. I pour the boiling water into a handmade, slightly lopsided clay mug that proudly proclaims “I Love Auntie Donna” in a childish script, dip and drown my tea bag, and shuffle back to my spot in the living room - my little nest in a gorgeous, hand-crafted rocking chair next to the fireplace. Donna told me her grandfather had made it, and every time I look at it, it astounds me that another human being created something so beautiful with his bare hands. Every nitch, nock, and spindle carefully considered and meticulously carved. Some of the stain has faded, and patches of lacquer have dulled, but that only adds to its beauty - you can tell this chair was loved.

The fire I’d built earlier is down to embers. I sit and stare into the blazing coals, sipping chamomile and scrying for answers to questions I don’t know. The room is warm, but I need something over my shoulders, need the weight of something wrapped around me. There’s a flannel draped over the back of the rocking chair...one of Dean’s flannels. And it’s my favorite of his, the dark red one that brings out his freckles and the deep jade of his eyes. I take it and slip my arms through the sleeves. It smells like him...like whiskey and wintergreen, leather and cotton, copper and cordite...

I catch myself before I start to fall too far. I need to pack up these thoughts and put them away where they belong before they start making me hopeful again.

I used to let myself get lost in them, let myself wander through giddy daydreams and float among sultry fantasies...I’d close my eyes at night and pretend Dean was by my side, just an arms reach away. I’d imagine it was his fingers pumping inside of me instead of mine, hear his voice in my head as I made myself come. Or I’d simply think about spending a day with him - walking through a park in autumn, stargazing on a summer night, cuddling and kissing on a rainy spring day. But after a while, when I’d accidentally found myself in love with him, I’d put all those dreams on the shelf; I'd only take them down when I was at my lowest and loneliest, grasping for a reason to keep going. There were a few times I’d thought about telling him, making a move...but Dean Winchester doesn’t need another complication. None of us do.

~*~

The shitty thing about being used to four hours of sleep is that when I actually get the chance for more, my brain doesn’t get on board. I came up here a couple of hours ago and I can’t seem to keep my eyes closed. Just keep staring at the ceiling and thinking about things I shouldn’t...

I love this place. It’s cold outside and the wind’s howlin’, but it’s damn cozy in here. If Hell ever gets a blast of Minnesota weather - and I can pack it in, leave the life - I’m getting a place like this. Hell, I’d build it myself, make it just the way we want it. We could move out here, where it’s almost backcountry, leave all the bad times behind us. It’s gonna be on a lake though - I’ll get a boat and go fishing all the time, teach our kids all the tricks to hooking the big ones...

Jesus, knock it off, Winchester. Like she’d let you screw up her life more than you already have.

YN's moving around downstairs. I should see what she’s up to, see if she’s feelin’ okay or wants any company...nah, I should just leave her alone. She got her bell rung bad the other day and it scared the shit outta me...I kinda lost it and yelled at her like a total asshole. I don’t get why I do that. Gun to my head, I guess it’s cause it seems simpler that way - rather piss her off and keep her from getting too close, instead of admitting out loud how I feel about her and watch her run for the hills.

She was in and out of it for almost two days, and I’d stayed with her as much as I could, at least till Sam would bark at me to eat or sleep. She’d used herself as bait - again- and I fucking hate it when she puts herself in the line of fire like that. I can’t stand it when she gets hurt, and this last time was...pretty bad. But she’s stubborn as hell, can’t be talked out of anything she’s already set her mind to. Actually thought she was gonna punch me when I got in her face, but I escaped with only a “fuck off, Dean”.

And I suppose those are some of the reasons my dumb ass went and fell ass over tea kettle for her - her grit and her style, the way she can dish it as good she takes it, how she handles either a gun or a blade with this almost unnatural grace... one day, I watched her make salt rounds for an hour and it was one of the most spectacular things I’d ever seen - she was in this total zone, her forehead creased in concentration, and lips mouthing the words to a song I can't hear, growling out the cutest “fuck” or “son of a bitch” if she messed up.

She’s the best part of my day - whether it’s seein’ her all cranky and bleary-eyed in the morning, passed out over a pile of books in the library, or bent over a pool table while she hustles townies - I can’t think of a better sight. And her laugh is goddamn music to ears. Her eyes, her smile...her anything and everything keeps me going. I can be two seconds away from checkin’ out, but one look at her reminds me that it's all worth it, worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tears.

Christ, just thinking about her like this is making my dick twitch. Doesn’t help that she laid in this bed the last few days because I can still smell her. Her perfume or soap or whatever she uses is fucking delicious, a mix of spice and spring flowers and brown sugar that sticks to her skin and practically makes my mouth water, makes me wanna taste her…

Fuck, now I’m hard. I think about jerking off for a minute, but instead I think about that time Cas showed up in my car naked and covered with bees and swing my legs off the bed. No sense in just layin’ here, thinkin’ about things that’ll never happen. I grab my duffel and pull out my flask (not much left in there, maybe two or three shots) and some clothes. Gonna check out the room down the hall that’s got one of those old school record players. Maybe some good tunes will calm me down, get my mind off things. Off of her. I turn to leave but then I remember- there’s a little something in my bag I’ve been hangin' on to. I dig through all my crap and find it in the inside pocket. Awesome. Screw consciousness, I’m gettin’ high.

~*~

I hear footfalls against the ceiling - one of them’s awake. It could be Sam, but I know it’s Dean - I know his stride, his tread. And I also know Sam conceded to the pain and downed an extra dose of Percocet, so he’s all but dead to the world for the next six hours.

We all have problems sleeping, each have our lion’s share of blood-and- gore-laden nightmares, but Dean’s always seem worse. They take a bigger toll on him. He wakes up screaming more often, drenched in a cold sweat with his sheets flung from the bed. Sometimes I hear him shouting in the middle of the night and it breaks my fucking heart.

Maybe I’ll go see if he’s alright, if there’s anything I can do for him... I hope he’s not still pissed at me for what happened on the hunt. Sam told me it was just because I’d scared him, because he cares about me, that it’s just easier for Dean to blow up instead of break down. But dammit I wish he’d open up, just a little. There were a couple of nights he and I had spent just hanging out together, nights where whiskey was flowing and secrets were shared...but right when it seemed like he was going to let me in on what was really going on in his head, he’d stopped himself, drained his glass, and said goodnight.

I know what he’s been through. Or rather, I know of what he's been through. It would be sacrilege for me to even try to begin to empathize. I know about things he’s done, his devils and deeds that are unforgivable in most circles but necessary in ours.

Dean is a good man. Everything he’s done has been a labor of love, a sacrifice. I know he doubts himself constantly and I know he hurts, vehemently and deeply. But if he’d just let me in, if I could love him the way he deserves, I’d do anything and everything I could to take all that pain and somehow dull it. Sometimes I can actually get a smile out of him and it’s one of the most marvelous things I’ve ever seen - when the corners of his green eyes crinkle and his teeth peek out from behind those ridiculously perfect lips...god, it’s beautiful. He is beautiful, inside and out and I wish he could see that.

Now I’m wide awake. My tea’s gone cold, and I’ve spent too much time wallowing in these thoughts that shouldn’t be wallowed in, and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. I glance out a window and watch the now steadily falling snow, listen to the wind whip and whistle through the frigid night air. Sitting here in the dark alone with all of these thoughts has become too lonely. There’s a room upstairs, a little den with a couple of chairs and one of those huge console record players...I’ll grab that book I’ve been meaning to read and hang out in there, let some music fill the quiet and the story busy my brain.

I take my mug to the kitchen, place it in the sink, and pull Dean’s flannel around me tighter. Hopefully, he won’t mind if I borrow it for the night. This way, I can be close to him without ruining things.

Music echoes down the staircase and I recognize the tune as I get closer to its source. Bob Dylan. Nashville Skyline, I think. Dim, golden light beckons me to follow and leads me to a doorway. I look down and find him lying on the floor, with his ankles crossed, and one arm bent behind his head, blowing a plume of smoke toward the ceiling.

“Hey,” I whisper, and he turns his face toward me, looking up at me with mellow eyes and an easygoing smile.

“Hey yourself. Can’t sleep?”

I shake my head. “Thought I’d come in here and check out Donna’s music collection. But I see you had the same idea, so -”

“So? Come on in, stay awhile.” He pats the floor beside him, then holds up the joint fastened between his fingers. “It’d be a lot cooler if you did.”

I should really go, leave him to his own devices, avoid torturing myself. But before reason has any chance to intervene, I find myself lying next to him. He’s more of a drug to me than the smoke I’m sucking through my lips. I want to stay away, I should stay away, but I can’t fucking help myself. So like a good little junkie I give in, tell myself this is no big deal, that I can go back to not thinking about him tomorrow.

~*~

I’m so glad she decided to stay.

I don’t know if it’s the weed or the cold, dark night or what it is, but when I saw her standing there, all I wanted was to just have her near me. Even if all I get to do is hear her voice or just feel her presence next to me...well, I’ll take it. It’s not like this anything new, we’ve hung out like this plenty of times...though it’s times like this when I get so comfortable around her, that I really gotta reign it in and make sure I keep my damn mouth shut. And it never seems to get easier - like right now. She’s humming along to the music, making up her own words here and there and playing air guitar and it’s friggin’ adorable. She really is one in a million and if things were different, I’d hold on to her and never let go.

Somethin’ Sam said a while back pops into my head - somethin’ about finding someone who knows the life - and for a second I think maybe things don’t need to be different. Maybe we could make it work. But then I remember I’m toxic. Even for a hunter I drink too much, have too many fucked up thoughts, done way too many fucked up things. No, she deserves someone good, someone better than me. I can’t even believe she’s stuck around for this long. Sometimes I just look at her and wanna scream, “run”, before she gets hurt. I’ve accepted that I’ll never get the happily ever after but she shouldn’t. She can still get out, have a real life, meet someone who’ll give her everything and make her happy. Never in my life will I be able to give that to anyone - it just ain’t in the cards for me.

Then she looks at me, passes me the joint with this sweet smile, and all those thoughts just fade away. And I wonder - like I wonder almost every night - how her lips would feel against mine.

Sam keeps tellin’ me that I’m an idiot, that she really likes me, that I should go for it. And for a minute, I actually think about it, cause the way she’s lookin’ at me right now is downright incredible - she actually looks happy to be here, with me.

Is she?

Truth is I'm selfish. And a bit of a coward. I'm too afraid to love anyone because I'm too afraid to lose them. Everyone I've ever lost took a piece of me with them and I ain't got much left. If anything ever happened to YN, I’d be done. She’d take the last of me.

I’m feelin’ a little goofy. Not stoned or anything, but definitely running out of fucks to give. Then I glance at her and notice she’s wiggling out of her button-down.. .my button-down. She rolls it up, tucks it beneath her head, and stretches back out on the floor. Her tank top is creeping up over her stomach a little bit, and it’s stretched tight over her tits and she’s got nothin’ on underneath…

I swallow hard and bite down on my lip cause I’m this close to just flat-out telling her I love her.

~*~

Part of me wants to tell Donna she desperately needs to redecorate this room...but the other, the part of me that's stretched out on the floor, listening to classic 33s and getting high with Dean, is perfectly content with the old-school kitsch. The shag carpeting we’re laying on is surprisingly comfortable; The color (what is this, ocher? Chartreuse?) - shouldn’t be allowed to exist, but the long polyester threads sprawling beneath us are soothing in a way. The light is low, flickering from two vintage oil lamps that stand on each end of the console, and casts shadows beneath its warm glow.

Dean looks like he’s about to say something, but the last song has ended and skipped into a static scratch. He hoists himself up to flip the record, and I perch on my elbows and just...admire him. He’s different here. I’ve seen him lounge around the bunker during downtime but tonight he actually seems powered-down, carefree. There's something almost magical about what the calm does to him, how it lifts the weight he carries. His shoulders are relaxed, his movements languid, unhurried and uncalculated, eyes bright and serene. And he looks so fucking good, wearing a well-worn and well-fitting Zeppelin t-shirt that he must've had since before he’d built up his muscle. Softened and faded jeans cover his bowed legs and hang low on his hips, and I don’t think he’s got anything on underneath because I get a glimpse at the cut of his abs and...

I wish I could tell him how amazing he is, how much he makes me smile, how much I love him; I wish I could show him, hold him, kiss him and just love him with everything I have...

The music starts back up and oh my god… he’s dancing. It’s really more of a slow-motion Elvis maneuver, but it’s the closest thing to dancing I’ve ever seen Dean do. Every tick of his hips pulls the fabric of his jeans perfectly across his ass, and I shouldn't be thinking about him this way but he’s just so mesmerizing…

And then he turns and faces me with his best impression of his best Bob Dylan.

Lay lady lay,

Lay across my big brass bed

Lay lady lay,

Lay across my big brass bed...

I throw my head back and laugh, not because he’s being ridiculous, but because he’s being so goddamn perfect. And the joy I thought I’d lost the day I cocked my first shotgun is bubbling up and making me giddy. Or it’s him. Or it could just be the pot. This is a side of him that no one gets to see, not even his brother. I can give him this, a place to let go of it all and just be Dean Winchester for a little while. He’s easy here, content, and he actually seems happy that I decided to stay.

Is he?

He claims his spot beside me again, settling in just a little closer. He's still singing to me and I'm still giggling…

Whatever colors you have in your mind

I show them to you and you see them shine

Lay lady lay

Lay across my big brass bed

Somehow his hand found mine, and he's tracing my knuckles with one calloused fingertip. I take it in mine and glance down at the connection, marveling at how small my hand is in his but how perfectly it fits. His hand is so gentle, warm and solid...it’s hard to believe how often his palm has bled, how many triggers his fingers have pulled, how many bones his fist has shattered.

He shifts, rolls to his side, and gazes down at me while he keeps up his serenade.

Stay lady stay

Stay with your man a while

Until the break of day

Let me see you make him smile

I grin as he brushes my hair from my face, tucks a few strands behind my ear, winds a section around his fingers. Then I see something in his face that’s never been there before - a shade of color reflecting from his eyes that's deep and rich and vibrant…

His clothes are dirty but his, his hands are clean

And you are the best thing that he's ever seen

Stay lady stay

Stay with your man a while

The way he's muttering the lyrics...it’s so sincere, like he means every single word. The warmth of his body is just out of my reach, and the low timbre of his voice begins to resonate through my veins, nestling into a locked corner of my soul.

Why wait any longer for the world to begin

You can have your cake and eat it too

Why wait any longer for the one you love

When he's standing in front of you

He’s still playing with my hair, pushing any stray strands from my face…my eyes flutter closed and his touch becomes something warmer, softer. Delicate, intentional kisses pepper my cheekbones, my temples, my forehead...

Lay lady lay

Lay across my big brass bed

Stay lady stay

Stay while the night is still ahead

I feel his thumb and forefinger catch and tilt my chin, and I open my eyes. He’s so close now, close enough that if I rolled on my side I’d roll into him, that if I lifted my head just an inch...

I long to see you in the morning light

I long to reach for you in the night

Stay lady stay

Stay while the night is still ahead

The silent formation of the last few lyrics are the first thing I feel and then his lips are fully on mine, barely grasped between his and I've never felt something so tender and genuine carry itself with so much force. He's cradling my cheek and his kiss feels tentative, uncertain - but at the same time teeming with need, as though he’s waiting for my approval while praying with everything he’s got that I’ll grant it. So I lean into him, slide my fingers along the short hairs on the back of his neck, and pull him closer.

~*~

Maybe it was the weed, the music, the way the light reflected off her… whatever it was, it just took over. She looked too soft and too damn perfect, layin’ there and smiling that smile. And I thought about the other day when she was lying unconscious on that blood-stained, concrete floor, and the way my guts twisted at the thought of losing her…

I just couldn’t do it anymore.

I couldn't go one more night without telling her exactly how much she means to me. And it was a cheesy way to do it, singing to her like that, but Bob knew all the right things to say.

I actually can't even believe she's kissing me right now, that she pulled me close and wrapped her arms around me. Part of me thinks she's nuts - she's gotta know I got nothing to offer her, that she deserves so much better- better than me, better than this life. I can’t promise her anything - can’t promise a future or comfort... but if she lets me, I can promise to love her, to kiss her with everything I’ve got every chance I get, to hold her close and protect her... even if it’s just for tonight.

She makes a little sound and arches her body into mine. I don’t know how far this is gonna go, but I’ll take my time getting there. This may just be a fluke, a one-time thing. Or maybe it’s not, maybe I’m the luckiest bastard on the fucking planet...either way, I want to savor every second.

I keep the kisses slow, open-mouthed and gentle. But then I feel her tongue slide along my lower lip and I can’t help but slip mine against hers. This feels so good, just kissing her like this, tasting her and feeling her beneath me. She’s running her fingers through my hair, rolling her hips every now and then, sliding her hand down my side and across my back. I kiss her harder, deeper. She’s moving more, breathing faster, making these quiet little whimpers. I break away and look at her, smoothing some of her hair away from her beautiful face. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are half-closed and right at this moment she could ask me to shoot the moon and I’d kill it dead.

Her hand brushes my cheek and she pushes into me, silently begging me to keep going.

“You sure?” I whisper in her ear, kissing the space just behind it.

She nods and mutters “please,” and I move my lips down her neck. Her body trembles when I land on the spot where her neck curves into her shoulder - I give her skin there a little nip and she gasps... fuck, I need to hear that sound over and over. I’m gonna map her entire body, figure out just the right way to touch her. Run my hands over every point, plane and curve, find every spot that makes her moan and quiver and sigh. I wanna drown, lose myself in her. I want her to know that I know how special she is, that I get how lucky I am to be with her tonight, that I understand what she’s giving me. I kneel between her legs, take hold of her wrists, and slowly push her arms above her head.

I need to see and feel and taste every single inch of her and I’m not gonna be quick about it.

~*~

First kisses are usually awkward. Heads bump, teeth collide, hands float and fumble while they try to find a comfortable place to land.

So I don’t know if it’s dumb luck, or just that I’ve practiced this so many times in my mind, but we find a rhythm instantly and we fit, like we’ve known all along exactly how to kiss each other. It’s so perfect that I almost laugh out loud, dumbfounded that I ever thought that we shouldn’t do this. Our kiss is absolute, passionate and all-consuming, and sending every neuron in my brain firing into a tailspin.

I never want to stop kissing him.

My arms are above my head and he's teasing me, softly kneading my breasts over my top, flicking at the stiff peaks of my nipples. I lower my hands to pull at our shirts, to let him know I need to feel his touch on my bare skin, but he gently curls his fingers around my wrists again and guides them back up.

"Let me," he murmurs, sliding his palm down my breastbone, over my stomach and finally beneath my top. “Just... let me…”

Right as he cups my breast and traps my nipple between his fingers he’s kissing me again, swallowing every sound he’s pulling from me. I melt into him, into his kiss, into his touch. He pushes my tank top over my head and then his lips are on my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders. My forearms and fingers are dotted with kisses, along with my hips and navel, and then he’s peeling off my leggings, never once taking his eyes off of me. I’m completely bare beneath him and he’s biting his lower lip, running his hands from each of my ankles to my calves, my knees, my thighs...he looks as though he can’t decide if he wants to ravish me or revere me.

He settles for a smooth, easy assault, touching and kissing me everywhere, lingering whenever I cry out or sigh. I’ve never felt like this, never felt so...worshipped. His fingers and lips glide along my body as though I’m a delicate thing - carefully, thoroughly, and completely. My skin feels taut, chilled and tingling, but my blood is pumping hot and fast beneath. And when his tongue swirls around my nipple, and he takes it between his teeth, I swear to god I’d come right now if he told me to.

I know I’m wet, I can feel it, hot and dripping and my cunt is clenching, clit throbbing with a deep, insistent ache that almost hurts. Dean is everywhere, exploring and marking and claiming, until I hear myself begging, pleading...I need to feel him inside of me. I need him to unravel me, to make me come undone.

~*~

The way she looks right now is so goddamn glorious, she doesn’t seem real. She’s ruddy and glowing, twisting beneath me, chanting my name and begging with kiss-swollen lips. I let my hand slide between her legs, run a finger between her folds and christ - she is so fucking wet. She lifts her knees and spreads wide open for me and I dip just the tip of one finger inside. She ruts forward and I push two fingers all the way into her tight, hot pussy and fucking hell, she feels smoother than silk. I keep it slow, steady, loving the way her eyes roll back when I flick my thumb over her clit, and the way her tongue darts between her parted lips as I twist my fingers inside her cunt, searching for that spot...

Her eyes go wide when I find it, and her neck arches back and her hands fist the carpet. She’s quietly moaning and cursing and pushing herself down, fucking herself on my fingers. I catch her scent and some animal urge takes over me; I pull my fingers from her, bring them to my mouth and suck them clean. She's like fucking nectar and I’ve never tasted anything so good and all I want is more…

I pull my shirt over my head, push my jeans off, press her thighs as far open as she can spread them - god, her pussy is perfect, so pink and slick - and take a long, slow taste. She moans, low and long, breathing out a desperate “fuck, yes…” as she cards her fingers through my hair. And I growl, I fucking growl like a goddamn dog, and drive my tongue into her dripping hole. She hooks one leg over my shoulder and tilts her hips and I grab on to her ass and hold her up. I lick her deep, thrusting and flicking and swirling my tongue, filling my mouth with the flavor of her, then I peer up at her and...My. Fucking. God, she’s a vision. She’s shaking, twitching and gasping when my nose bumps her clit...

I slip my tongue from her cunt, ease her down and spread her open with my fingers, lapping at her folds, her entrance, her clit. Then I take that sensitive little bud between my lips and suck and holy shit, the fucking sound she makes...I gotta make her come. I need to see it, feel it, hear it.

But first I drag my mouth up her body, stopping to nip at her neck before landing on her lips. She licks into my mouth instantly, sucks at my lower lip, pushes her tongue against mine and I can tell she’s about to lose her mind.

~*~

I'd been in more than one motel room next to Dean's. And I'd always rolled my eyes, convinced that whatever girl he'd brought back with him was just putting on a show, playing porn star with their over-the-top wailing.

They weren't screaming loud enough.

“Can you taste yourself, baby?” he purrs between kisses, "You taste how fuckin' delectable your pussy is? So hot and sweet...” and I moan into his mouth. He slips his fingers back inside and curls them, nudging my sweet spot. “Want you come, YN…wanna make you fall apart..."

I'm biting my lip to keep from crying out too loudly, stifling the urge to scream because the pleasure he's giving me is so complete and consuming. I swear he knows my body better than I do. He's found places on me and inside of me that feel like they've never been touched until tonight. I'd thought maybe I was hypersensitive, so eager and thrilled that this was finally happening, but no - everything he does is deliberate. He finds a spot and knows whether to bite or kiss, push or pull, grind or slide, when to do it all at once or not at all. Every touch, every stroke sparks my nerves and ignites my cells and I'm down to my last fragments of control. I am utterly at his mercy, reduced to a writhing, wanton mess as his fingers slide inside of me, hitting my g-spot with incredible marksmanship. Then his lips land on my clit again, and...oh God. Oh my fucking god…

It starts in my belly, a molten heat simmering in my core, wavering a scant wavelength away from a fever pitch. It’s hot and thrumming and growing in speed and intensity until it can't be contained anymore. It bolts through me, hot and hard like an electric current and I go rigid as I come, the torrents of bliss saturating every molecule of my body. And then Dean is up on his knees, three fingers deep in my sodden cunt, his other hand laying flat on my lower stomach and muttering "Come on baby,...let go…let go for me…" Either I'm still coming or I'm coming again, hard and completely, and a quiet pull snaps from someplace deep inside... I completely shatter, so stunned with the sensation that I open my mouth in a silent scream as my cum splashes against his hand.

~*~

I tuck back down between her legs and softly lap at the stray drops sticking to her thighs. I’m about to go crazy - I’m hungry, starving for her, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking hard in my life.

I lay beside her, trace shapes on her collarbone, and watch her as she comes down - the way her tits rise and fall with every breath, the way her throat flexes when she swallows, the way the lamplight dances off her sweat-sheened skin. Her eyes are closed, mouth slightly opened, and her tongue sneaks out every now and then across her lips. Of all the ways I’ve ever seen YN, this has to be the absolute, bar-none best. She’s like a living statue or a painting, some kind of work of art. A goddamn masterpiece.

I don’t want to stop touching her. Right now, I don’t even think I could. She shudders and opens her eyes when I gently trace a wet finger along her cheek. Then she grabs my wrist, pulls my hand to her mouth, and wraps her lips around the fingers I used to fuck her. She sucks and licks, and all I can do is groan as my fingers slide along her tongue. I gotta distract myself or I’m gonna shoot off right now like a teenager…

I take my fingers back and move to hover over her, and catch her lips in mine again. Kissing her is so...it just feels right. Like hers are the only lips I ever need to kiss again. If this is all we do for the rest of the night - hell, for the rest of our lives, I’d be one hundred percent happy. But as we kiss, she starts to whimper, moan...and then I feel her fingertips skitter down my torso and brush against my cock. And I can’t help it, I grunt out a “fuck, YN” and chase her touch. She drags her thumb, then her palm against the tip of my dick, smears precome around my shaft then wraps me in her fingers. I bite my lip and rock into her fist while she strokes me, trying like hell not to lose it any time she gives the slightest squeeze. I can feel her breath on my face and I’m starting to fall into the rhythm, getting lost in her touch and the heat of her body beneath me…

Then in the flash of a second, she hooks a leg around my waist, shifts her weight and turns, and has me on my back. She's straddling me, and I watch her slick pussy drag along my cock while my hands slide up her thighs and grip her hips. My eyes wander, slowly, up her body, marveling at her shape and color and just the mere sight of her swaying over me. My eyes meet hers and then...I'm trapped. Hypnotized. Being here with this woman is like nothing I've ever seen or felt before, and there's some part of me that knows I'll never feel this way about anyone ever again.

~*~

My gaze meets his and I'm struck...with exactly what, I don't know. It's thrilling and terrifying at the same time but most of all it's certain; This is exactly where I'm meant to be, astride this beautiful man who’s lying beneath me, stripped of all his layers, and I can feel the moment he surrenders. His mind and his body, his control and his chaos, his pleasure and his pain, all together unfettered and unfurled.

Potent and fervent primal desire sets in and overtakes me; I want to claim him, feel his skin between my teeth, taste the salt of his sweat.

I shift to my knees, slot myself between his open legs and lean forward, pressing myself against the solid heat of his bare chest, and catch his lips in a quick but ravenous kiss. He tries to chase it but I pull away, letting one hand slide up his sternum, splaying my fingers over his throat. I fist his hard, dripping cock in my free hand and stroke. He breathes out my name with a curse and his head hits the floor as my mouth latches on to his neck.

Releasing my hold on him, my lips move from his neck to his collarbone, down and across his chest, following the blueprint of bruises, scratches, and scars until my nose brushes against the thatch of dark hair between his legs.

I flatten my tongue and lick his thick cock from base to tip, then take just the crown between my lips and gently suck. The taste of his precome fills my mouth and he moans and trembles, exhaling a long, deeply held breath as he laces his fingers in my hair. I take him all the way then, as far as I can, until I feel him hit the back of my throat. I hold him there and swallow, let him feel the soft flex around his shaft. I slide up and down slowly, stroking the inches that can’t slide down my throat with one hand, and cup his balls in the other. He whimpers, high-pitched and desperate, and the mere sound of that sends drops of arousal trickling down my thighs while my cunt clenches and quivers. His grip on my head tightens and I keep steady, caressing and taking him deep, and let the tip of one finger press against his perineum.

His body tenses and I peer up at him - the muscles of his abs are twitching, his neck is arched back, the tendons there strained and taut, jaw clenched, and teeth bared...he’s holding back, trying not to come. He hisses out a breath and gently tugs my hair, urging me to let him slip from my mouth. “Fuck, YN”, he breathes, and I walk my hands alongside of him, gliding my body against his and brush his lips with a gossamer kiss.

We both breathe hard, panting, fingers tangling in each other’s hair, hips rolling, hearts racing. His hard, thick length is sliding against the soaked lips of my pussy, the head of his cock nudging my throbbing clit. I look into the dark forest of his eyes, he places his hand on my cheek and suddenly there’s a surge - a swift and commanding energy that surrounds us, tangible and unconditional.

Our gaze locks as I raise my hips. He grips his cock, lines up at my entrance, and I sink down slowly, relishing every inch that stretches me open, my moan echoing his until I’m completely filled with him.

~*~

It’s almost too much.

She’s so warm, so wet, and so fucking tight...I swear I blackout for a second. It’s taking everything I got to hold on, and every ounce of control I can muster when she starts to move.

She’s groaning and sighing, and the way she’s breathing my name is like a siren’s song. I let her set the pace, tilt my hips to push into her as she rides me, find her hand and lace my fingers through hers. She fucks me slow, lets her head fall back and lays her free hand on my chest. Reaching up, I slide my hand between her tits, pinch and tug one nipple between my thumb and forefinger, and she lets out the most beautiful cry I’ve ever heard. And that sound wakes up the damn animal in me and I thrust into her, as deep as I can. I want her to fucking explode, feel her cunt throbbing tight around my dick and soaking me with her cum.

She pulls her hand from mine and moves it between her legs. I pinch her nipple again and she gasps as her body trembles, and I know she’s getting close. “Gonna come for me, YN?” I snarl, and she stills - her head falls back again and her fingers work faster, and I’m so caught up in her that I just start babbling. “Fuck yeah, YN, fucking come all over my cock…that’s my girl...” I pound into her faster as she gets tighter and wetter and then I feel it, her walls clenching and her cum dripping, her body finally going rigid as her orgasm tears through her.

I slow down and ease her through it, trace my fingertips over the curves of her glowing body and take in how absolutely stunning she is right now - her hair all mussed and tangled, her skin flushed pink, her lips bright red and swollen. Her eyes open and she grins down at me, the lazy roll of her hips picking up speed and I just...fucking...can't anymore.

I throw my arms around her and pull her against me, kissing her sweet lips as I roll us over. She arches into me, takes my face in her hands and purrs "...want it all inside me...I wanna feel your cum dripping from my cunt…" and holy goddamn shit, I'm gonna give her everything she wants.

She raises her knees and hooks her legs around mine, digs her heels into the back of my thighs, squeezes the walls of her pussy around me and I’m gone - all I feel is her silky wet heat, and all I can smell and taste is her sex and I drive in, fast and steady until I can’t hang on anymore. I let go and my world stops, every living fiber of my being at a standstill as I come with a shout. I thrust hard and deep and spill every drop inside of her, pumping her full as she fingers herself to another climax.

I rest my forehead against hers as we both catch our breath. She curls one hand around my waist and the other around the back of my shoulder, raking her fingernails gently along the base of my scalp. I kiss her, soft and quick, and pull out of her, rolling on to my back while I gather her in my arms.

I glance out the window. The snow’s still falling and the sun’ll start rising soon. The record is long over and skipping, and YN grips me tighter and shivers. “Hey, sweetheart...let me up,” I say, kissing her forehead. She groans but lets me go and I sit up, lean down to kiss her again and hop to my feet. I lift the needle off the record and find a quilt that’s tossed over one of the chairs. YN's curled on her side, and I can hardly wait to get back to her. I cover us both, pull her close, and I stare at her until I just can't keep my eyes open anymore. We drift off in each other’s arms and the last thought I think is a little prayer - that this is how I’ll fall asleep every night for the rest of my life.

~*~

I can’t remember who said it first. All I know is that it was suddenly there, as though it always had been, free falling from our lips as we moved and moaned and came together.

We’d awoken several times, one of us roused by a kiss or touch from the other, neither of us willing nor able to let it end without making love one more time.

The storm has finally passed. Sunshine beams across an azure sky and reflects with blinding brilliance off acres of freshly fallen snow. I peek out the kitchen window and catch a glimpse of Sam standing near the garage, up to his knees in icy white powder.

I set a kettle on the stove to boil.

“Look like we ain’t goin' anywhere any time soon,” Dean says, coming up behind me and circling his arms around me. He moves my hair away from my neck and nips at the exposed skin.

I lean against him and cover his clasped hands with mine. “Can’t say I’m all that disappointed.”

He hums and kisses my cheek, then moves his hands to rest on the swell of my belly.

“Your old man's gonna teach you how to make the best snowballs, kid. Knock your Uncle Sammy right off his ass.”

I giggle and spin around, draping my arms over Dean’s shoulders. “Big talk coming from the man who got a black eye during last year’s snowball fight.”

“That was a fluke. She had an unfair advantage.”

"She's less than half your size!”

“Exactly.”

The door opens and Sam trudges in, shaking and stomping the snow from his legs, laughing as he's nearly knocked over by a whirling, bright pink dervish of weatherproof polyester.

Our daughter runs over to us, cheeks rosy and nose runny from the cold, her apple-green eyes as big as sledding saucers.

“Mommy, Daddy, guess what?! We had a snowball fight and I won!”

“Ho ho! That’s my awesome little girl!” Dean cheers, scooping her up in his arms and swinging her through the air. He rests her on his hip, and they trade an Eskimo kiss. “Let’s go tell your Auntie Eileen and your baby cousin all about how you kicked your Uncle Sammy’s a - uh, butt.”

He sets her down and helps her unlace her boots while she tosses her hat and mittens to the floor. “Yeah, I kicked his ass!” she beams, and the three supposed adults in the room have to bite back their laughter.

“Yep,” he sighs, shaking his head. “Definitely a Winchester. No two ways...”

Once she's out of her boots and winter overall, she runs to Sam, grabs his thumb with her small hand and pulls him through the kitchen. Her tiny footsteps pelt up the stairs, layered with gleeful giggles. Then, with all the vivacity of her five years, she shrieks in triumph, “I beat you again, Uncle Sammy! I win again!”

Dean grins wide, pulls me back into his arms, and catches my lips in a kiss that teems with the same intense passion as the first one he ever gave me. And in seconds I’m melting, into his kiss, into him... into memories of a snowstorm and shag carpeting, the smoke of purple kush and the flicker of oil lamp flames, the pedal steel guitar riff of Lay Lady Lay and Dean’s hip-swaying serenade...

He breaks away, brushes a section of my hair away from my brow and tucks it behind my ear. Then he looks into my eyes with unwavering conviction and repeats the promise he’s made me every day since he took my hand in his - a promise that's as simple as it is complex, selfish yet altruistic, sometimes dubious but always definite, and anything and everything in between:

“I love you, YN.”

~Fin

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therectoress · 3 years

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⭐️ :)

[Too frantic to use the keys the sorceress blasted the door open, almost pulling it out of the hinges with her brimming chaos. “Yennefer!” She cried, chest straining mercilessly against her corset. The girl turned to look at her and Tissaia bolted for her, made stupid with concern. She grabbed her by the wrists to try and stop the bleeding. She tried to drag her away from the lethal, broken things, much as the woman had made her. But Yennefer was faster with the adrenaline still coursing through her leaking veins and just as she tightened her hold on her wounded flesh the girl kicked her in the gut with her kneecap, the distraction allowing for Tissaia to be manhandled and pressed against the wall, where her olive fingers harshly tangled in chestnut hair, slamming her head against the stone.

Kept compliant as she bounced back by the forearm in her throat, which was mildly choking her and the knee between the two of hers. “Don’t hesitate.” I trusted you. With her free hand, Yennefer ghosted the shard through the delicate skin of her face. “Go for the eyes.” I listened. She let it rest next to her left one.]

“Do it.” Tissaia breathed, the blade inching even closer. “Do it!” She dared, drinking in violet orbs. “Cut me up. Show me who’s the piglet.” If it was manipulation or the madness she had accumulated throughout the years the woman couldn’t tell. “All because I took you out of that dump where hope goes to die.” Yennefer sneered at her. “That was our bargain, wasn’t it? For me to show you once and for all how much they don’t care and take you away… It was so easy, like taking sweets from children.” She could feel her uneven breath against her lips, the girl’s strength starting to fail her as the minutes passed. “How long until he sold you to be a cheap whore?” Not even a month, from the thoughts she’d scanned. “Do you fancy that a nobler fate than dining with kings?” It wasn’t, not since the Rectoress had taken power and vowed no girl would go through what she had. “Take your pleasure, take your pain, my dearest...” The brunette purred. “Do you even know the difference anymore?” I don’t. “Or you could let me help you. Let me show you that someone does care enough to pull you back. That I care enough for you to allow myself to let you retaliate.” Tissaia pressed her temple, where the blade now rested, further into the glass, making a deep gash above her eyebrow.

Excerpt from Till Human Voices Wake Us (And We Drown), chapter 2.

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut - Readers come into my ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. Or, send in a ⭐star⭐ to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about! // My ao3.

Okay, so let start with: “Do it.” Tissaia breathed, the blade inching even closer. “Do it!” She dared, drinking in violet orbs. “Cut me up. Show me who’s the piglet.” If it was manipulation or the madness she had accumulated throughout the years the woman couldn’t tell. // Tissaia is a master manipulator, that much we know. How couldn’t she be when she’s raised the woman that may destroy the Brotherhood? But this... this is not entirely it. Ever the scholar, this is also a taunt, an honest invitation that allows her to see what she’s working with. You can’t make gold out of mud. She can lie to keep Yennefer safe from the Chapter, from swimming with the eels, sure, but I don’t think she wants to. I think what she wants is to see if the saying “nurture vs nature” has any validity. She was happy, she was loved. Yennefer wasn’t. - This is the work of her life, this is the one riddle she couldn’t figure out. - Tissaia wants to see if those old wives’ tales about soulmates hold a candle to the truth because she’s never found any answers and Coral won’t give them to her. Tissaia is gauging out if they really two halves of the same person even when they’ve walked such different paths.

“All because I took you out of that dump where hope goes to die.” Yennefer sneered at her. // In chapter 1, I wrote that Tissaia is a greedy thing by nature and her their greed, her their ambition is a pillar of this story. Tissaia’s been filling that hole inside her which such devotion I don’t believe even being a child, being the heiress to Acaidal was enough. I believe she lived in storybooks, in hope of something more. And when it came... she was back at the start, being the most powerful, the most beautiful mage alive wasn’t enough to fill her up. (“It was obsession. No matter the cost nor the damage you needed it because without it you were empty and empty was scarier, worse than just broken. - Only Ashes Remain, chapter 17.”) Tissaia de Vries has lived her whole life in hope that one day she will be whole. An existence where that is just a silly dream is worse to her than death and thus, intolerable for Yennefer to endure. So you see, she does believe she’s saved her, however cruel she was about it.

“That was our bargain, wasn’t it? For me to show you once and for all how much they don’t care and take you away… It was so easy, like taking sweets from children.” She could feel her uneven breath against her lips, the girl’s strength starting to fail her as the minutes passed. // Tissaia loves her games, loves winning and when she particularly dislikes the other players she loves cheating. She knows nobody that has acquired anything worthy has kept it by playing fair. The world is her board, people her pieces to move and she’s mapped out all the strategies from the start. Tissaia will offer you salvation with a kind hand - already aware of what that means to you - only for her touch to maim you.

“How long until he sold you to be a cheap whore?” Not even a month, from the thoughts she’d scanned. “Do you fancy that a nobler fate than dining with kings?” It wasn’t, not since the Rectoress had taken power and vowed no girl would go through what she had. // They made Tissaia into a monster, that’s an irrefutable fact. Tissaia is willing to put her students through a lot of heartaches to make them into women that can survive, thrive, that is also a fact. But whilst Tissaia enjoys depravation, she is not depraved. Tissaia is a woman before she is a sorceress though she won’t admit to it, and she will always bear the transgression that that is. She will not demand from her girls what was so brutally ordered of her. Tissaia is keenly aware that the difference between a monster and a demon is bestiality. She finds comfort in the dark, she isn’t made of it.

“Take your pleasure, take your pain, my dearest...” The brunette purred. “Do you even know the difference anymore?” I don’t. // Everything they could have taken from her, they have. Everything they could have done to her, they have. Everything they could have told her, they have. And the worst part is that at some point she started believing it was right to expect a this for that. That love and pleasure can’t be pure without the pain. If it doesn’t come with a price then it isn’t real, because how could it last without it? If it doesn’t consume her how will she ever prove she’s alive? How could the scales be kept stable if she isn’t holding them between bloodied hands?

“Or you could let me help you. Let me show you that someone does care enough to pull you back. That I care enough for you to allow myself to let you retaliate.” Tissaia pressed her temple, where the blade now rested, further into the glass, making a deep gash above her eyebrow. // Our dear Rectoress is not a permissive person, much less when it concerns the things she will allow herself to endure at the hands of others, the vulnerability, the exchange of power such acts need. Control is paramount, after all. So I think it’s very telling that even though she’s the one in control (her magic is intact), despite Yennefer holding the blade and pressing her to the wall, Tissaia pushes so Yennefer cuts her (doing it herself by proxy). This is her saying, “I have already suffered my whole life for you and now that I have found you, that I can cage you, that I can mould you into whatever I want, I shall instead continue to bleed, if it allows you the freedom I was never afforded, because to me that is preferable than diluting your essence.” For Yennefer this is where she’s been at her most vulnerable and they both know it and for Tissaia, lovely, terrifying Tissaia, this is the first time she has any say over the bond that was imposed on them and despite all that she has suffered because of it, she’s choosing Yennefer. If that ain’t love then it turns out I don’t know the meaning of that word.

-- You have no idea how dearly I wanted to get that off my chest, so thank you for the interest, anon!!!!

Till Human Voices Wake Us (And We Drown).

#yennaia #post: ask #writing*#thvwu*

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bravonovel · 3 years

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The Billionaire Alpha's Secret Baby novel read online - Grace Jones and Connor Shelby - Bravonovel

The Billionaire Alpha's Secret Baby

https://www.bravonovel.com/the-billionaire-alphas-secret-baby-8246

The Billionaire Alpha's Secret Baby novel is a romance story about Grace Jones and Connor Shelby.

Blurb : Still reeling from the heartbreak of being abandoned by someone she called her mate after a one night stand, Grace Jones gets a more shocking discovery. She was pregnant. To her horror, she was carrying the child of someone whose name she didn’t even know. Seven years later, Grace saves a young billionaire from the brink of death who also turned out to be someone from her past. After what happened to her seven years ago she loathed men. For someone she felt was her mate to abandon her like that what else could they not do? Alpha Connor Shelby! The CEO of SHELBY REALTOR (UK) LTD, and the Alpha of Lumia pack had his fate intertwined with a rankless wolf and a single mother. Will he accept her? Ride along as we journey through the story of a rankless wolf with a child falling in love an Alpha of a reputable pack and the CEO of the company that took everything from her.

You can read this novel online on Bravonovel and keep track of the latest chapters

The Billionaire Alpha's Secret Baby novel Chapter 1

ARIZONA COLLEGE

SEVEN YEARS AGO

GRACE

In silence we studied each other on a bed, evaluating, doubting, and considering by turns, because it was so sudden, so unexpected.

We were merely strangers turned drink buddies few hours ago. We didn' t even know our names yet. He only jokingly called me Ms. Budweiser because I said I loved beer more, while I laughed hard and loud, calling him Mr. Chardonnay because he said he only drank wine.

But I and my friends made him take beer . It was a way to apologize for bumping into him and ruining his white T-shirt.

I was going to get another round of drink while he was heading to the rest room as I could remember it. However due to my crazy hurrying, and the excitement of our finals, I had bumped into him and caused him to spill his drink on himself and at the same time holding me from tripping over.

He snaked his firm hand around my waist to keep me steady and our eyes locked.

At that instant, the world suddenly went silent, the deafening music from blaring speakers around us became a distant sound to me

His steel-grey heart-stopping eyes drew me in and drowned me. My head swooned, my heart beat took an unnatural speed, jamming itself against my ribcage. Thousands of angry butterflies sprang up in my stomach, fluttering like they were being chased by a predator.

All that happened at once.

If I was reading my experience in a romance novel, I'd sneer and scowl at the writer for being unnecessarily corny and cheeky. I'd call the book a cliché but still go ahead to read it.

However, this particular cliché wasn' t happening to some lucky female protagonist.

It was happening to me, Grace, the nerdy, boring twenty three year old virgin who was about graduating college without a boyfriend or a mate.

Not that I had one before and broke up with them for some reasons. At all. I never had any.

I would have called what just happened'a love at first sight' and I was sure he would have too, owing to the way he kept his eyes on mine for the thousands of seconds our eyes locked.

Or have I finally found my mate? I wondered vaguely. Finding one's mate was one of the most difficult thing now in the twenty-first century werewolf kingdom. People just get themselves partners and call them boyfriends or girlfriend or wives or husbands and humans did since we were sharing almost the same fate.

After our bump, we had muttered repeated sorrys to each other with effusive awkward gestures. I couldn't let him go like that after all that chemistry between us, so I had come out from my shell of shyness and awkwardness and asked him to join me and my friends on our drinking table.

Now here we are, in my dimly lit tiny college room, inhaling each other's breathe, with our eyes locked and our breathing accelerated, standing so close our noses could meet. We were both drunk but knew this feeling wasn't instigated from alcohol.

I wanted him and wasn't ashamed for the first time in my life to admit it. I had vowed never to do it till I found the one that made my heart flutter in my chest. Or if I found my mate.

I wasn' t sure about the latter, but my heart was a living testimony of the effect of this young beautiful man standing in front of me.

I took two steps backward, to get a fuller and more concise view of the first man I was going to share my bed with.

He was many inches taller than I was, literally towering over me with his firmly squared broad shoulders. Strands of his dark brown hair which fell across his temples accentuated his sexiness. His oblong angular face was never the type I could forget in a hurry.

Should I go on about his full lips and how it interrupts my breathing whenever I stare at them?

As we stood few inches apart, I yearned to press my lips against that bare skin that ran from his throat to his chest and my breast against that white stained shirt.

With a sigh that was really surrender, I ignored my racing heart and took a step further.

We looked at each other and then our lips met and lingered. I felt myself sinking into the bliss of the sweetest sensations and my hands came up on their own to touch his face. I knew I was desired but, just for the moment, I felt loved and it was what I needed.

We both knew it would have been okay to wait, get to know each other and talk more, however, we both also knew we couldn't wait. This felt too right. I didn't feel a single pang of guilt or the need to be cautious.

He didn't give me a chance to change my mind.

He crushed my body to his, one hand on my back, the other on my hips, pressing me against his hard body. I gasped with sheer pleasure and then to my horror, I began to tremble. This was the first time and I wasn 't familiar with the moves and I felt awkward, unable to respond as I wanted to.

“Hey…” he murmured against my hair and his arms loosened, as though he understood, as though he was well aware of the fact that he was my very first. He began to stroke my hair gently, persuasively, so that my eyes closed and I began to relax.

His hands moved to my back, beginning an unhurried exploration that made me shiver again, but this time in the most delicious manner .

I began to respond, my hands sliding up his back and across his shoulders in a thrilling exploration of my own. I opened my eyes, saw his throat where the collar was open and pressed my lips against it. I felt a deep shudder run through him that might have been my own, so deeply did it thrill him. I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair and used it to pull his face down to mine.

Our lips met and fused with an ecstasy that seared me to the depth of my being. We broke apart and gazed at each other, and then he was pressing kisses all over my face and I held my head back to expose my throat for more. I was awash with sensation, but it only built up the urgency for our lips to meet again... and again.

His hands were on the zip at the back of my dress and I began to unbutton his shirt. He shrugged out of it as I stepped out of my dress and kicked it away in a frenzy, and he pressed me against his chest again with only the fragile silk of my slip between us.

He kissed his way down my neck, to my shoulders and slid the straps from them. The slip caught at my hips, but none of us noticed because now, my bare breasts were pressed against his naked chest and we both gasped.

He turned me slightly from him, lifting his face to kiss and then his hands moved down to my breast, grasping, massaging it and then playing with my nipple. My groan of pleasure was lost against his lips and, as I felt my legs go weak, he picked me up and carried me unto my bed.

He kicked back his shoes, threw back the quilt, put me on the bed and stood looking down at me while he took off the rest of his clothes.

The curtains hadn't been closed and a surprisingly bright moon bathed us both in a silvery glow.

"Do you know how lovely you are?" he asked as he lay beside me.

He didn't expect an answer, and I was quite incapable of giving one because his mouth had fastened on to my breast and his tongue was flicking my nipples into a frenzy of desire. He moved to the other breast and the delicious torment began anew.

“Chardonnay…” I breathed, but he took no notice, sliding the petticoat from my hips, and then my stockings and suspenders, and kissing his way over the warm flesh he exposed.

"Chardonnay…" I breathed again, writhing with the most exquisitely unendurable ecstasy I had ever known, but now his own passion overwhelmed him as he entered me, going in real slow and when my core gave passage to his huge member, he began thrusting hard and desperately in the need to quench his own fires.

I held fiercely, pressing his hips against mine as we sought and found the final explosion of passion.

Mr. Chardonnay kissed me with hot, spent and grateful lips and then he collapsed against me , moving down to rest his face between my breasts. I pulled the quilt over us and cuddled him to myself while out breathing turned to normal.

It was a long time before he stirred, then he rolled off my body and propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me.

"I'm crazy about you, Ms. Budweiser," he said huskily. "How do you feel about me?"

I couldn't answer. The whole thing was feeling so surreal to me. "I'm here, and I 'm not a one-night stander." was my response.

"We don't even know each other's real names yet. I'm-"

"Tomorrow," I cut him short with a sleepy tone. "Let's tell each other our names tomorrow and other things we should know about us." I said with finality in my voice.

He sighed.

But he wouldn't understand. Seeing him on my bed by morning when I wake up was going to convince me that this wonderful moments weren't a dream. And that I had found the love of my life.

I had gone through college as a nerdy boring girl without a mate or a boyfriend and a werewolf with zero rank. If not for my two best friends, my life would have been more than the hell it had been here in Stratford College.

But here I was on the last day of my final year making love with the most beautiful man I had ever met, who could possibly be my mate or boyfriend after today.

I felt giddy with happiness and relief. It was all too fast and going too well , I was dreading disappointments.

“Let's know each other wolf's name at least.” he murmured, dragging me from my train of thoughts.

I pushed him over on his back, then propped myself over him, my breast brushing against his chest. "I don't want to talk tonight. Tomorrow will do. Go to sleep." I kissed his eyes shut and then studied, and it almost hurt me how handsome he looked with his face relaxed and the moon turning the sun-bleached ends of his brown hair to silver.

I kissed his forehead, clasped my eyes shut and let myself drown into dream land.

…...

Continue to read the chapter 2 of the novel The Billionaire Alpha's Secret Baby https://www.bravonovel.com/the-billionaire-alphas-secret-baby-8246/chapter-2-194222

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straye · 1 year

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❛ oral . to give my muse oral .

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑰𝑻𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑬 . ( 18+ ) : accepting !

It’s funny how their sparring matches go. Despite their seemingly equal, endless stamina, they both get more pent up and sweaty by the end, with a near insatiable, carnal hunger. Thana points out his raging hard-on with some cheesy porno line (he can’t help it; it’s what good fights do to him…), he challenges them to do something about it with an equally cheesy quip of his own in turn (it’s what fights with them do…), and it escalates to them having their hands on each other, tearing the other’s clothes off.

Kogami has Thana pinned against a vacant locker room wall by the wrists under a single hand. He draws away from their seedy kisses to redirect his own towards their jaw and neck where he hungrily bites and suckles, intent on leaving velvety marks for the entire office to see. Already, those spots have gone pink and red, marred with his teeth marks.

Before he can descend to give their breasts this same treatment, they slip right from under him, grabbing him by the waist to shift their positions so his back is against the wall.

“Shit—“ he curses, and his breath stutters when he feels their fingers wrap tight around his arousal coated hard, throbbing cock.

“Babe, I need to fuck you,” He growls, jutting his hips up as if emphasizing so.

He whines with a huff when they push his hand away as he tries to sneak it between their legs — but his short lived protests come to a screeching halt when they lower to their knees and languish his cock with a drawn out lick.

Oh. He’s actually very okay with this.

He bears his back against the wall, maintaining as much control as he can muster, keeping his glassy, lust filled gray eyes fixed on them as they take his tip into their mouth, and descend on his full length, swirling their tongue on every throbbing vein.

He laces his fingers into their white hair, biting back moans when they lock their lips and bob on his cock.

He’s only a little sorry for the way he grips their hair harder when they bring him further into their throat.

#vtriol #this heart， with all the changing hues，that mortal passions bear— ∶ ( dyn. thana & kogami / vtriol )#by this，and this only，we have existed. ∶ ( ic. )#till human voices wake us，and we drown. ∶ ( answered. )#i myself become the wounded person. ∶ ( v. enforcer )#I woke back up to write this teehee #usfw #r18.

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stewyonmolly · 4 years

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WAIT we just read the love song of j. alfred prufrock in class and now I’m desperate to know what you think of it

i literally waited to answer this until i had ample time because this ask.... means the world to me. yes.

first of all??? it opens with an excerpt from dante’s inferno in the OG italian so you know it has to be good. the constitution of overthinking as a hell at the end of which he cannot return from?? yeah. that's poetry.

“like a patient etherized upon a table.” i spent the longest five minutes of my life waxing poetic about this line in my poetry class last year. etherized. when you’re etherized you’re held down, you’re entirely out of power, the evening is at the whim of the universe, unmovable by its own strength, being tugged in every direction and shifted and cut into by the hands of the universe around it. yeah.

“Streets that follow like a tedious argument / Of insidious intent / To lead you to an overwhelming question ... / Oh, do not ask, “What is it?” / Let us go and make our visit.“ overthinking 101. also, “streets that follow like a tedious argument” ???? YEAH. do not ask what is it. let us go and make our visit. as someone who desperately wants to be as impulsive as the world will let me, as stupidly impulsive as is humany possible but as someone who is also cripplingly afraid of everything,,,, yeah.

the entire next stanza personifiying the mist like a stupid little cat makes my heart warm. i love stupid little cats. i love the mist being a cat: nosing its business everywhere it shouldn’t, making a nuisance of itself, but curling around the house like a comfort at the end anyhow.

“And indeed there will be time” is maybe one of my favorite lines ever in general just because it is so applicable, but everything that follows it is also perfection: “there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;” there will be TIME for all the things you rush to do now, for all these catastrophes you are preparing for. there will be TIME to breathe and “murder and create” and “time for you and time for me” in a way, it’s like the gentlest, sweetest “slow down” i’ve ever heard.

the repeated “In the room the women come and go / Talking of Michelangelo.” is so amazing too: yes, you’re taking a moment, and things are still happening around you, yes, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you can’t BREATHE! people will continue to discuss and discover and do around you but that doesn’t mean YOU don’t have TIME to do that TOO!

so he’s like,,, yeah we have time,, the whole beginning is just “there’s all this time” but at the same time he’s also like,,,, let’s. he’s just like “let’s.” the whole time it’s just yes i’m terrified and yes i feel so fucking rushed and panicked and confused because the world is weird and crooked but you’re here and we have this time so let’s. and i think that’s pretty funky and beautiful, mister eliot.

“Do I dare / Disturb the universe? / In a minute there is time / For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.“ i have nothing to add

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;” yeah. my neurotic kin. everything is careful and overthought and done to exact amounts. everything is RUSH HURRY NOW RUSH NOW EXACT HURRY PERFECT. and the little silent voice beneath this is just hedging on: he talks about his bald spot and people talking ABOUT his bald spot and he’s like “let’s.”

“When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, / Then how should I begin“ the constant feeling of being scrutinized. the way this manifests in a fear, an unwillingness, to do anything at all. why would we do anything when we know we’ll be judged for it? butterfly pinned under a glass case. LET’S.

“I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, / And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, / And in short, I was afraid.” me too. me too me too. and the fact that, in the face of this, he’s still over here going LET’S?????? yeah.

“To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead, / Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—“ to know all? to really know all and to tell it to yourself? to erase that constant worry? i think there’s a quiet bravery in the way he seems flabbergasted at the idea of telling all to himself, at the idea of correcting one’s life to be the way it “should.”

“No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;” i know people say this is about status in life but that’s bullshit. eliot’s speaker is at least as neurotic as hamlet, though i shudder to compare any level of neuroticism to hamlet’s. this man is telling himself to stop thinking so much, so deeply, to stop catching on every stitch in the blanket and just notice the warmth for once. he’s saying to himself, LET’S, you and i.

“one that will do... almost, at times, the Fool.” this whole thing? yeah he’s saying he’s wrong sometimes, stupid sometimes, a fool sometimes, but that’s because he’s human, and he shouldn’t overthink that. there’s some strange beauty in it.

“I grow old ... I grow old ... / I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.“ this was my instagram bio for months. a bisexual anthem. but also a way of saying “im tired (old) of overthinking, of micromanaging myself. im gonna roll my fucking trousers.”

“I do not think that they will sing to me.” this line always hits me like a bullet. the siren call wont call him. there’s nothing he finds himself pulled by. there’s nothing to want so much that a siren could drown him in the search for it. this is the hopelessness to counter every single bit of exhausted “LET’S-ing” he’s done throughout the rest of the poem. this is the moment you understand that it’s not a bit of hopefullness left in him at all making him feel like he should just Do. it’s a bit of nihilistic exhaustion. it’s “Let’s Do Before We Die Because Otherwise We Died For Nothing.”

“Till human voices wake us, and we drown.” this line, to me, is eliot’s persona talking about hearing the voices of the neuroticisms he’s voiced throughout the whole poem prior. it’s weighing the voices of himself, of man, over the voices of mystical sirens, the same way night can be etherized: the way he feels, the exhaustion he holds, is so heavy that it sucks the mystic powers out of everything that could possibly be mystical. nighttime can be made to bow down. sirens are less strong than insecurity. it’s the ocean, with its waters “white and black” that give life and death; it’s all or nothing. it’s that which calls to him (all or nothing, life or death) because he’d rather that than live the way he does: questioning and unsure and wavering.

anyway i read this poem as a discussion between the persona and himself rather than the persona thinking about a lover bc fuck romance but i just love the idea of the persona trying so hard to make himself feel living is worth it, and at the beginning you believe this “LET’S!!” energy he has but at the end you’re like “dude go see a fucking therapist.”

#the love song of j. alfred prufrock #ts eliot #this is so long so sorry #my writing #kind of

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coolkat122 · 3 years

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Twisted Teeth: Vampire Gaara x Reader Chapter 1 Part 1

___________________________

I was on my way home after handling business in another village in my father's stead, it was pretty late into the night but I didn't feel like making any rest stops.

As to get home as fast as I could, to be with my family and friends as soon as possible, I never really liked being away from them for too long, guess I'm too family-oriented? (Ha, ha).

Though I guess it can't be helped when I love them so dearly, they are the world to me and I enjoy every minute with them, except for the few fights, could do without those, just thank the heavens it's never anything we can't work out.

I best try my hardest not to wake anyone when I make it home, they should all be in bed by now and I doubt that they expect me to be home so soon' No one would have guessed that I would have forgone, resting at the other village till morning.

Since it's not really wise to travel so late into the night with bandits and "other" sorts of unsavory things lurking around in the night...

It truly was unwise of me but in my defense, I was feeling lucky and I really didn't care for the idea of staying in the mist village, they are decent enough for business though I wouldn't go getting comfy there.

Not the greatest place to spend the night given their reputation they are known for their high murder rates (and "drownings" if you catch my drift)...

Obviously, when my father got sick he didn't want me going there in his place but I couldn't let him go in his condition and yes my mother was strong in her own right, no misunderstandings when I say that.

She wasn't cut for this kind of traveling nor do I believe she could handle doing business with some of the people in the mist village, and lord knows my brother was too young for this.

Which left only me as the only one who could do it, and it had to be done since breaking arrangements with the man my father agreed to meet with has been proven for merchants and traders alike to be a really bad idea.

I heaved a heavy sigh, 'So I'm glad I was actually able to handle it as smoothly as I did' with the amount of pressure that was riding on me, I'm quite surprised I didn't crack.

That man certainly didn't make it easy for me to remain unscathed though somehow I managed, so I took some pride in that with a great big smile on my face that was filled with pride.

Happily, I rode down the road feeling successful and a little prideful of myself though my smile was soon replaced with a look of worry and concern as from the corner of my eye. (<Might change this)

I caught sight of a man stumbling out of the forest falling to the ground with a groan, he was clearly very injured and in need of help.

Despite my better judgment, I decided that I would be that help as I stopped my wagon and rushed over to the unconscious man.

Once I had approached him and became close enough to properly examine him, I soon discovered that the man wasn't human, evident by his pale skin, pointy ears and when I checked just to be sure I wasn't just jumping to conclusions.

Sharp fangs that were previously sheathed by his lips... having seen that what I thought was a fellow human was actually a creature known for preying upon my kind.

I heavily debated my next actions, I could do what everyone would say was the right move and finish him off or I could be the better person and help him.

All life was precious and God cherishes all, right?... At least that's what our village priest would say but I'm sure if he were here, the man would be screaming at me to call that devil (his words not mine) which I'm pretty sure contradicts the meaning of "all" life having a value and a right to live in God's eyes.

So this leaves me in a prickle... I'm no killer and it really feels wrong to harm someone who hasn't even done anything to me yet and on the other hand I also strongly do not wish to give him the chance, but.

As I stand here looking down at his weak and fragile state, I can by no means call myself a good Christan and just leave him here as vulnerable as he is.

My heart ached and my world was becoming topsy turvy the longer I pondered, the right moral decision I was forced to make, I was torn in two on what was right, as one half of me warned me that helping him would be a mistake while the other.

Told me I would never rest easy knowing that, I let someone die even if that someone was a horrible creature... again despite better judgment, I took hold of the poor man's body and began dragging him toward my wagon where I carefully loaded him up.

'I'm going to regret this I can tell' I thought knowing that I was going to regret my choice either way so I figured may as well do the one I thought was morally sound.

At least then if he turns around and sinks his fangs in me, I could go knowing that I tried to be a good person.... with another sigh, I whipped the horses to go.

'I obviously can not take this creature home with me, I can't risk him harming my family nor the other villagers so I have to find a spot that was far enough away that I wouldn't have to worry about him causing trouble' It took some thinking and slight digging through my old memories to recall such a place.

The little shack that Naruto's Godfather used to stay in as he wrote his "novels" for peace and quiet, Jiraiya had pretty much abandoned it once he started a family of his own, and Naruto doesn't really care to visit it anymore either, so.

It was the perfect spot, no one besides those really close to Jiraiya knew of it and they hardly if ever even visit the place especially since the man himself no longer inhabits it.

With a new location in mind, I directed the horse there and since it was closer than my village I arrived there a lot faster then I would have had I still remained on course.

I tried to carry him in as carefully as I could but he was quite the heavy fellow and I wasn't exactly the strongest woman in my village (that titled belonged to my pink-haired friend), so there were some bumps and bruises along the way.

Nothing too serious though, once I had him settled in and the horses set, I begin to treat his wounds as best as I could all night (I also kinda tied him up, for safety reasons though I'm sure he's not going to be thrilled with that when he wakes).

At some point, I fell asleep as I was tending to him, thankfully it wasn't anywhere close to him enough so that he could do me any harm but it wasn't stopping him from trying as I awoke to the sounds of him desperately trying to slash me with those claws of his.

I frowned deeply at this as I rose from my seat with my arms crossed and in a stern voice that I've used many a time on my brother and Naruto whenever they acted out of line.

"Is that any way to thank the person who treated you?" His animalistic glare deepened as he snarled (Am I sure he wasn't a wolf or something? I heard vampires were more "classy" than this or at the very least more alluring...).

"Why would I thank a human that did this in the first place" He spit back at me.

"How good of a look did you get on the ones who cause you harm? Cause I can assure, I was not one of them nor did I play any part in it, I was just heading home when I saw you fumbling out of the forest as you did" He remained silent as he stared at me intently with those sea-green eyes of his.

"And you thought me some pathetic human in need of saving?" I really wanted to roll my eyes at this because he says this in a manner that makes it sound like he wasn't in some serious need of saving and I also really didn't care for his tone on human (and like it really even mattered rather he was a human in need of my help or a vampire cause rather way he did need it!)...

"No, I SAW that you were a vampire in need of saving which by the way, you are quite welcome, I really appreciate the gratitude and warm welcome as I awaken to see your grateful eyes shining ever so brightly upon me... really makes me feel like all the trouble I went through was worth it" I'm not sure when I had crossed my arms but at this point, I uncrossed them, and begin heading over to the cabinets.

I was hoping Jiraiya had something that was still good though as I really thought about it, obviously he didn't because of this I missed the look of confusion that crossed his face for a moment only to be replaced with a clear expression by the time I turned around sighing with disappointment.

"Well... Breakfast is going to have to wait..." I subconsciously begin to pout as I thought about the long ride I still had ahead of me and how hungry I was...

I should have brought some hunting tools with me, 'damn it all' I mentally cursed.

"...then... why did you help me?" I was pulled from my thoughts by the vampire as he gazed at me with an unreadable expression as he waited for my response.

My brows furrowed and my face took on an empathic expression as I gazed back at the vampire and answered honestly, "because it was the right thing to do... it felt wrong to just leave you there to die, I could never live with myself if I had".

The vampire's eyes searched for any detection of a lie and found none, his eyes widen for a moment as his expression morphed into this mix of confusion and sadness, he genuinely looked so lost at the idea of a human... wait no, that anyone would help him...

Were vampires not a helpful bunch to their own kind or something? Pretty sure that's a touchy subject so I won't ask, his green orbs cast their gaze toward the wall over to his left as he appeared to be in thought.

'I think I might have sent him on a self-journey at the moment...' I stood there in silence for a moment, not wanting to disturb his train of thought and also not really sure what I should do next...

I mean, I helped him...yay? But now what? I can't just untie him, he could still very well attack me and I don't really think I should leave him here.

He could starve to death and if I feed him he could gain the strength to break free, oh god did I not think this through...

After coming to the realization that I am a flipping idiot, I immediately begin to beat myself up over the fact, 'how did a fool like me ever manage to make it as far as I did in life?'

This was a tough world and it's a well-known fact that you need brains and commons sense to last long in this life so how did I make it as far as I did and is this where it ends for me?

'I really hope not...' a moment of silence as I pay respects to my fading life, may it rest in peace...

"Thank you" My head snapped up as I stared wide-eyed at the vampire, question myself if I heard right.

"I'm sorry, did I hear you right? I was lost in thought" The vampire frowned as he repeated himself.

"I said, thank you, I am not without manners, I am sorry that I went as long as I did on saying it, I didn't get a good look at my attackers as you said and I assumed that you might have been one of them... I never imagined that anyone would ever extend me any kindness" His face though was strong and clear of any emotion, his eyes told a different story.

They showed pain, gratitude, betrayal, a slight willingness to trust though it was also still clear that he was on guard and doubtful, like he couldn't believe it true that anyone would dare to be kind to him.

I offered up my best smile as I replied, "You are welcome... and honestly do not trouble yourself over it, I'm sure waking up bound would give anyone the idea that they were in danger, and I'm sorry about that" The vampire remained silent, still unreadable even his eyes were too this time around.

"No, you made the right call, had I not been tied up... I'm sure I would have drained you in your sleep" My smile fell off my face as it was replaced with a disturbed and worrying look.

The vampire took notice and apologized, "I'm sorry, I should have kept it too myself" I tried to reassure him that he had no need to feel sorry and that I appreciated the honesty (at the very least).

"...very well"

I was becoming more uncomfortable the longer this went on, so to hide that I turned my head ever so causally toward the window to break eye-contact while also taking a slight break from this whole ordeal and suddenly became aware of the time.

"Oh darn!" This made the vampire curious for my little outburst as he questioned.

To be continued➡️

#Vampire Gaara #Gaara #gaara of the sand #suna no gaara #Naruto #reader insert #Vampire AU #alternate universe #fanfic #short story #part 1 #chapter 1

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enigma-im · 4 years

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Carry on Wayward son

Rating: Mature Relationship: Dwarf and Female!Human Warning: platonic relationship, Suicide attempt, Force help, lowkey kidnapping but it’s for the greater good, angst, fluff, hopeful ending

Word count: 2549

"if you would throw away your life, then I will claim it as mine" -rising from the depths

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"you going to jump?" I startle from the voice, stepping back from the concrete edge. I clench the support beam harder as I twist to look at the company. It's hard to make out a face from all the hair. Big bushy beard and long ginger locks frame the little bit of face visible.

"What? No," I lie with a scoff.

He hums with a quirk of his nose," well it looks like you were. If that isn't the case then what are you doing up on the ledge to a very dangerous fall?" I squint at the man, almost offended by his presence in such a monumental moment. I look from him to the edge, looking down at the water crashing over the rocks.

"Enjoying the view," I huff," it’s a beautiful place." he hums in agreement. I get captured by the distant view of the white-capped waves in the river. It really is a lovely view, a nice final vision before blissful blankness. I take a few baby steps forward, barely lifting my foot as I curt the edge. It's so easy, such a simple action to end the cremating feeling in my chest and head. Just take a step, almost like a leap of faith. It's that easy.

"Such a cowards way out," the man startles me to alertness again.

I snap my head to him," what?" he is closer now, leaning against the shoulder height barrier.

"Suicide, it’s a coward's way out. I can't imagine me saying that holds any weight but it’s the truth. Hurting others because you think its easier. Spoiler alert, nothing is easy. That’s what makes some things sweeter to obtain and others loud enough to tell you its not worth it. But I digress," he shrugs. He glances up at me then back out to the mountains.

I begin to shake, feeling cornered at his correct assumption. My chest feels like a hole and the always there feeling of panic rises into an engulfing terror. I take in shallow breaths as hundreds of lies thread through my mind, hanging onto the edge of my tongue like my feet on the edge of the bridge.

"I-I don- wh-," everything tries to come out at once. The dwarf turns his attention fully to me, regarding me in an almost relaxed pose. It's such a contrast to the black hole eating everything in my chest. I'm offended by his calm demeanor. Why does he get to be calm? Why does he get to be normal?

"Do you not have something better to do than make assumptions about me? I would love if you left now," I snap at him. Knowing what I want to say is a little different. 'leave' or ' please help' sits in the back of my throat.

"I don't think being alone is something you need right now, lass. The company would do you some good even if you don’t want company right now. Let's hope an audience will prevent you from doing something stupid," he answers passively.

"Something stupid? I would disagree, its probably the smartest thing I have ever done," I sigh. I glance back over to the edge with a shuttering breath. It might be my best gift to everyone really. I know it will be a wonderful present for myself. I can't be a burden anymore, as much as I can't keep feeling this. I can't tolerate another panic attack, I won't go about opening to someone who just doesn't get it. I can't help myself and no is willing to try so what's the point.

I forget about the man for a moment as I turn fully to the water. Just one step. Just one lift of my foot and I will be happy, free, content. I will be better once I walk forward. Just one step.

I lift my foot in almost a trance, leaning forward to the air. This I can do, I can do this.

I take the leap.

The first thing I feel is a flip in my stomach as gravity take hold. The next thing I feel is an air-punching feeling to my gut as something wraps around my middle. My elbows hit against the concrete as I fall to my back. My skin scrapes the rough terrain as my lower back skids over the corner. I suck in a gasp at the sudden pain then wince when my back slides over the lip and back onto the flat barrier.

"You damn crazy woman, making me fucking nearly fall with ya," the dwarf curses as he drags me back and over the barrier. "I didn't think you would actually do it if I was here, Jesus Christ saving you took ten years off my own life," he continues.

It takes me a second to survey the situation, I didn't fall. The white-hot fear from falling to my end transforms in anger. I twist in the man's hold and try to scurry away but he holds firm. I lash out in blind rage with a scream.

"Stop your shouting please, I rather not lose ten years then grow old as a deaf lad," he huff. I can't bother to care, just wriggling and screeching in his arms.

"You had no right! You bastard, that was my moment!" I flail till he manages to pin my arms to my sides. His grip is surprisingly strong for someone of his height. I continue to fight, showing more emotion than I have all year. I writhe and yell till I tire myself out, falling limp in his hold. I don’t know when I started crying, I also don't care to try. I drop my head to his chest and wail in grief, pain, angst, whatever.

"Let me die," I whimper," I can't take it anymore, I can't handle the emptiness. Please."

"Why are you so eager to off yourself? Why throw your life to the void," he asks. His fingers loosen on my arms then lift to stroke my hair. I can't answer him, I just want the silence to stop. I want the panic to end. God, please, it's all I want.

"well if you are going to give your life away then I shall take it," he huff as he thumps his head back against the wall.

I don't care what he is saying. This moment will end and I will be back here again. As fate for me to be here in the end.

---

I end up at his house once he managed to guide me from the bridge. He brings me inside and rests me on the couch. I don’t bother fighting, it would do me no good for now. I'm too tired to do anything, to feel anything. Sitting, I can do that for now.

He tries to get me into a conversation, I don't answer. He gives me food, I don't eat. He turns on the tv, I don't pay attention. As it gets late he gives me a blanket and pillow to sleep on the couch. I just lay down and stare emptily into the now darkened room.

He sighs," tomorrow will be better."

I don’t believe him

---

I wake to a bright light shining into my eyes, I groan and turn over on the couch. I feel something shake my shoulder but I brush it off with another groan. Someone huffs then the blanket is snatched from my body. The cold air runs over my legs in full tilt alarm. I snap my legs up instinctually and twist to scold the person holding my blanket.

"good, you can still get angry," he smirks as he drops the blanket to the floor. He doesn't pay me any attention as he heads for the kitchen attached to the living room.

"What is that suppose to mean," I shout as I snatch the blanket from the floor. I happen to glance at the clock attached to the wall, 7am. "Who the hell wakes up at 7am," I groan as I roll back onto the couch prepared to go back to sleep.

Before I could doze off the couch raises, the new angle knocking me on my ass. I thump my head to the floor with a loud thud and a colorful curse.

"You wake up at 7am now and eat breakfast soon after, got it?" I rub my head as I glare after the retreating dwarf.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't believe I stuttered," he passes a glance over his shoulder.

"Yea, I got that. I'm just curious who you think you are to be demanding that from me," I snap. I stand and snatch the blanket off the floor for the second time today.

"I am the person who owns your life so I decided what you do and don't do," he answers with a grin. It isn't sadistic or perverted like one would assume with a sentence like that. Either way, it isn't appreciated.

"Excuse me? You own me?"

He nods," that I do. You gave up your life yesterday and I claimed it for mine so you belong to me now. So come over here and eat, you are all skin and bones. Some weight and healthy food will do you some good." I don’t answer him, too flabbergasted to move. Am I being kidnapped? This is illegal, no one can claim a person.

When I don't answer he looks over holding a plate of a well-rounded breakfast. He cocks a brow, "What?"

"I'm leaving," I huff as I turn to the door.

"feel free to but know I will follow you so you don't go and do something stupid."

"You are going to stalk me?"

"if I have to, then yes."

"I'm going to call the cops."

"Do so and I will tell them you are a danger to yourself and they will put you into a hospital. Being with me will be more worth your time than being drowned in pills in a sterile room. Will it help, maybe. Will it be the best option, no. so those are your choices."

"You are an asshole."

"if that is what I have to be I will be the bad guy in your story."

"fuck you."

"Whatever you say. Here is what is going to happen. You will work with me on the river, then eat before we work out, then read or converse till bed. This will be your schedule during the week, then the weekend is yours. You will still wake up early but feel free to do as you wish. A schedule will keep you rounded and your brain in working order."

"I don't want to do that."

"Sometimes we don’t want to do thing but those things will help us in the long run. I don't like taking medicine but I know it will help. I don't like washing my clothes but I know if I don't then I won't have anything to wear. Often actions we bore ourselves with is beneficiary. Now quit whining and grab the bucket over there."

"fucking jackass."

"I will take insult over nothing."

We do exactly as he says, eat breakfast (though I manage barely nibbles) then head out to work on the river casting lines and cleaning up trash or debris. I fight every chance I get to not work but every time I act a brat he playfully splashes water or tugs a strand of my hair. Once we finish out by the river we sit on a dock and eat sandwiches. I barely touch my sandwich, instead, munching on the fruit. He takes the innards of my food then feeds the bread to the mallards swimming by. Watching the ducks is new, my mother always regarded the birds as disgusting needy animals. It's nice for a moment.

Next, we head back to his house where he offers some clothes to exercise in. we run for a bit then do some yoga to my surprise. He doesn't look like a fit man but keeps up pretty well to my lazy pace. We work up a good sweat before heading back to the house and showering. He offers more clothes then we settle in the living room.

"Wanna talk or read?"

"what?"

"This is enrichment time if you will. I generally sit and read before bed but the company is welcome. So would you like to read or talk?"

"Neither."

"I can talk at you if you like."

"do whatever you want. I played along with your demands today, I'm done."

"you aren't but if you wish to just listen to my voice then feel free to. I think today was nice, even if you were a bit bratty. Some hard work will do you some good, especially with your anxiety. Work calms the nerves if you do it right."

"how about reading."

"want to read now? Alright, here," he huffs before sitting up and grabbing a book from the shelf. There seems to be no thought in his choice as he grabs the closest in his reach. He tosses the hardcover to me, it lightly bouncing on the couch. I grab it, gloss over the title with little to no care, then open it. Out the corner of my eye, he opens up his own.

I stare down at the first page, not bothering to read it. I think about the day, think about how my legs ache and my stomach feels fuller than any recent time I can remember. I turn to the next page after a short moment, repeating the process anew.

The man scoffs, "I know you are faking it."

"Am not."

"'His eyes roamed around the room once they were adjusted to the faint illumination. He furn-"

"What are you doing?"

"reading."

"Out loud?"

"you need socializing, either it is from reading or from me. Why not both?"

"you aren't giving up are you?"

"on you? No."

"don’t say it like that."

"What?"

"Don't say it like that."

"I'm not giving up on you, that will be made very clear right now. You are worthy of living and worthy of being happy. Sometimes to get put in the right direction takes a helping hand, If I have to be that hand then so be it. I can't fix you, that isn't how this works, but I will give you the tools to help yourself. I will not give up on you, got it?"

He spoke with such benediction, so firm and confident. I had to believe him, there was no room for lies in his words. He is here to help me, I never doubted him, but he believes that I can help myself. That thought is oddly sobering.

"yes."

"Good, now are you going to read, or am I reading to you?"

"to me."

"Alright then."

I didn't believe his ways, I still barely do, but I think I can humor the idea. If only for a little while I think I can give it a shot. I trust the oddly caring dwarf man living by the river. Hell, if he can catch and pull me over a bridge then I think he can use the strength to help me find my own.

It's worth a try.

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First off, if you feel anyway the character did in the beginning please seek help. sometimes the world feel crushing and we are either not worth living in it or unprepared to, it’s not true. as long as you are caring then you worth living. not saying it will be easy but with help anything is possible.

Now, this story was suppose to be just the first part but that was way too sad for anything i’ve written. so if it seems rushed or unfinished uhh, i blame work starting up this week. totally not my fault at all...

Book quote is from Rising from the Depths, great story. its about a kraken who takes care of a woman who loses her leg in a (alien) shark attack. its a long series that has a different couple ever book. i’ve read them all, super good. if you have read it, please DM me cause none of my friends are ever willing to read that.

“our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy” - Thomas Merton

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#Angst #Enigma-IM #dwarf #platonic #exophilia #carry on wayward son #Dwarf friend #trigger warning #attempted

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