Name: Zomboni

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies is such a silly game. Silly is baked into its very code. And I love that! You know me! I live under rotting wood, eating silly and breaking it down into nutrient-rich soil! But I think Zomboni has the honor of being the silliest thing in this already-silly game!

There is no way Zomboni would exist if it weren't for the wordplay. So thank goodness for the wordplay! A zombie, on a Zamboni. Though, we are informed that it is actually "more closely related to a space ogre than a Zombie". What impeccable word choice! So it's not even actually a space ogre. Just some weird guy creature. Awesome

Zomboni drives an ice resurfacing machine, and I have no idea what the general public's knowledge level of these things is. Does the average person know the exist? I knew, but I played and hated playing hockey as a child so I got to watch the ice being resurfaced, which was the best part. Some guy who may or may not be tangentially related to space ogres will drive this machine around the ice rink, cutting down the surface and laying down fresh ice to make a nice and smooth surface, I think. Now, I may be using the generic term for this product, but commonly, there is one brand name that is used commonly, like Band-Aid or Q-Tip or Velcro, and for that we can thank...

Name: Frank J. Zamboni

Debut: Utah

Frank J. Zamboni! Hooray! What do you have to say, Frank?

Wow. So true, Frank. I'm sure this message is reaching its intended audience in this post. Anyway, ol' Ice Tank Frank made such an iconic machine that it is THE ice resurfacing machine in the public consciousness, and there is even a trademark for its iconic shape! That seems unnecessary but ok. Now, when the ghost of the Zamberino was scrying the mortal realm for references to his work in media, he came across parody in a funny video game, and OBVIOUSLY something had to be done about that!

And from then on, Zomboni's description was updated to reflect that it is NOT to be confused with a Zamboni® brand ice resurfacing machine, you silly billy, why would you think that? And they also plugged the Zamboni website in-game, so that the audience of, I must emphasize, a silly video game, would be more likely to buy an entire ice resurfacing machine, or at least its related merchandise. I really would think this would all be fine under parody law, but maybe it has to do with the shape trademark. Whatever. To the Zamboni company's credit, they have some incredible merchandise.

What a powerful item. With this, the course of a baby's life can be changed forever...

Zomboni with an O, I mean with two Os, approaches while creating a trail of freshly laid ice that cannot be planted on. The brand-ambiguous ice resurfacing machine is quite tough, but instant-kill plants are effective, as are Spikeweeds and Spikerocks, which will instantly pop its tires!

Zomboni is a considerable threat, instantly flattening any plant it reaches before its destruction, though the player should be pretty well-equipped to combat it, and the ice is laid on the right side of the screen, rather than the precious left side. Pretty manageable! But Zomboni is only the beginning, and as much delight and intrigue as I have gleaned from Zomboni's existence, it's what FOLLOWS Zomboni that is, in fact, my favorite zombie(s) in the game.

If Zomboni is allowed to create an ice trail, it will be used by Zombie Bobsled Team! Yeah, Frank got a whole "name/debut" section and these guys just get a bolded name in a sentence. You never know what I'm gonna do next! Hee hee!

Zombie Bobsled Team is exactly what it sounds like! A team of zombies, in a bobsled! So that's four zombies, with a defensive vehicle that has to be destroyed before they can be harmed! Zomboni was already over-the-top silly, and then Zombie Bobsled Team goes even higher over that top. And it's a Big Top, where they keep all the clowns. There is not much else I can say about Zombie Bobsled Team, but it really speaks for itself!

For some reason there exists official art of "Mullet Zombie", the Zomboni driver without his vehicle and hat. And for an even somer reason, they put it on the box art for the DS version! PvZ1 is simply very strange when it comes to official key art. Messed up.

Now that it's no longer winter in my part of the world, it's time to start thinking about buying winter clothing for next year. During the glorious four-and-a-half weeks we get before the snow falls again, the stores put out all their new ski gear for us to sample.

In Canada, it is critically important for your survival that you select only the finest things. A gap in a parka could mean a slow, icy death while waiting for the bus. Mittens that don't fit right will cost you a finger when you try to fumble for your keys to the mailbox. And the balaclava is the most problematic garment of all.

Don't believe me? Maybe you don't know what a balaclava is. It's Polish or French or something, for "ski mask." Balaclavae actually predate the existence of skiing, as they were discovered back in the stone age when cavemen needed to rob banks. And it's that aspect of their history that makes them so troubling nowadays.

While you don't need to go to a bank quite as often now as you used to, the tellers will still get a little on edge when you go in there to cash your pogey cheque while also wearing the classic uniform of a masked bank robber. I'm usually pretty good at remembering to remove them, but sometimes it's just a big hassle. A thin layer of ice covering it means that you'll get snow up your nostrils, and then you'll sound really stupid when you go to talk to the pretty bank teller at the end of the row. Plus your hair will be all fucked up. A non-starter. Better to just risk it, and keep the thing on.

What Canadian civilization needs is a way to separate effective weather gear from a criminal's disguise. Many have proposed alternative kinds of facial covering, ranging from balaclavas that are just brightly coloured, to a plastic mask with lifeless eyes saying "NOT A CROOK" even though it was clearly modelled after Brian Mulroney. These are half-measures, at best, and not enough to fix our broken society.

Here's what I propose: a ski mask licensing scheme. Everyone pays me a bunch of money when they wear their ski masks, fills out a little form, and I give them either a green (good person) or red (bad person) sticker. Then you just show your sticker to the teller, and everything is either fine or you suffer a brutal assault by the security guards. Sure, they could be counterfeit, but that would be illegal, and also why I would like to propose a companion red-and-green sticker licensing scheme.

I think James should give some attention to Regulus too. Can you write some hcs of just Jegulus?

sure nonnie <3 i’d love to. jeggy does have my heart very much, and regulus deserves attention as well! i’ll give some sfw & nsfw ones.

— on the outside, we see that regulus is the very formal, stoic kind of person whereas james is the one always making jokes and filling the room with chatter and laughter, but i like to think that behind closed doors these two are complete opposites. with regulus, james can be quiet. he doesn’t have to put on a show for others because he knows reg accepts him for who he is. and vice versa where regulus feels like he can chat away for hours to james, and james will never tell him to stop talking. he’ll even nudge regulus gently or press a kiss to his temple and encourage him to keep going if reg starts to get particularly shy about his rants.

— despite james’ natural romancing and wooing personality, he (and reg) both like to keep most of their date nights at home. that’s not to say that they don’t like going out because they do. but when they go out, it’s like a big ordeal because james can and will wine and dine regulus to the fullest extent. i’m convinced their first date was at a really fancy restaurant because james wanted to impress reg so bad, and then they end up laughing when they leave because it was soooo not their scene. they end up on james couch, reg’s legs in james’ lap while eating ice cream from the tub.

— let’s be real, james is a little Arrogant and regulus is never afraid to call james out, he’s even encouraged to do so. same in the sense when reg gets a little snarky with his tone because he has a Bone to pick with every person to ever exist for god knows what reason.

— as much as i adore the whole grumpy/sunshine dynamic, regulus isn’t always grumpy or mean to james. of course, the teasing is always there, but james and reg have a very healthy relationship, even if they had to work really hard for it. that said, regulus is actually very far from grumpy, and not a whole lot actually disappoints him. he thoroughly enjoys giving james pet names and watching James’ cheeks go all ruddy when he’s feel sentimental.

— one thing is for sure is that they have vastly different tastes in music, so they could be cleaning the house one day, music playing in the background, and it would go from tchaikovsky to the backstreet boys to yoke lore to lil uzi vert sorry i don’t make the rules here

— Very adventurous in the bedroom. as in they are open to trying anything to other wants to for the most part. shibari is just so jeggy to me. i adore the thought of reg tying james up and leaving him to his own devices while he leaves the room, just to get james worked up into a frenzy

— actually big exhibitionists/lovers of (semi)public sex and not necessarily by choice. they get Horny all. the. time. and unfortunately that means they have to do something about it, no matter where they are. so be it, reg looked hot in those pants he just tried on, so of course james is going to fuck him in the changing rooms, you gotta do what you gotta do

— i talk about this one frequently, and i know it’s a popular one, but james is the king of giving head. simple as that. but let’s also remind ourselves that reg ALSO loves giving head, like he’s very greedy about it. loves it when his eyes get all watery and he’s crying and lowkey i think about james licking away the tears afterwards because it turns him on more than it should

— these horny fuckers fuck in the shower more than any other relationship i’ve ever heard of. it’s a problem only because they’re trying to get ready for the day or night or whatever and they get soooo handsy, so what else are they supposed to do

(this is getting a lot longer than i anticipated, so if you would like any more hcs, let me know, and i might do a part 2!)

I just think that............. *gestures wildly to how Harrow experiences attraction* you know??????

the thing is that i HATE orientation stuff so much like i hate having to do little activities i hate having to talk to random ppl around me i hate having to pretend like i care abt the school as some sort of identity like i do not care i am just here bc i want an education……& like fr and honestly i hate heterosexual ppl so much like i really do and i’m always surrounded by heterosexuals at these types of things and they never want to talk to me & i never want to talk to them so i just feel incredibly uncomfortable the whole time. like this happened to me in both high school & college and it will inevitably happen again. i am not made for this world on god……….

Afab clones reformation AU

Trans!Danny au in which all of the melted clones reform at a later point after Danny manages to get them to Frostbite and see if he can help them.

But because this is Trans!Danny, all of the clones reform with afab bodies, because while Vlad could certainly mold their physical appearance to be masculine;

Without that exterior intent being applied, their cores just kinda looked at what human DNA it had to base a body off of, and spat out afab bodies because they didn't really have the chance to develop their own identities yet (which is what normally takes priority in a ghost's form).

This exterior influence on their cores while forming originally is also partially what lead to them all being so much less stable than Dani (Vlad influencing Dani's shape basically failed completely, which actually helped her stability), along with Tiny, Monster, and Bedsheet looking so mutated.

Along with the poor cloning technique involved in their creation.

While all of the clones reform with afab bodies that are less malformed than their original bodies (Tiny isn't all melty and missing an eye, Bedsheet has flesh though she has a ghost tail instead of legs, and Monster is still extremely tall and jacked and very firmly swimming in the Fenton end of the gene pool even with an afab body), their forms are later altered by their emerging gender identities, so in spite of their new afab bodies not all of them turn out to be girls.

Bedsheet is agender and their form shifts to becoming more androgynous over time, losing the more feminine features that they'd formed with the second time around, such as breasts and wide hips.

Tiny is a transboy just like Danny, so there are jokes all around for a bit about him literally being Danny in miniature.

Monster however is very much cis, in spite of her immense height, impressive musculature, and more tomboy sense of style and presentation. [Think of a cross between what most people think of when thinking of Tall!Jazz/Amazonian!Jazz, and Vi from Arcane. She's just generally very much swimming in the deep end of the Fenton gene pool.]

Prime on the other hand is what can only be described as nonbinary/3rd gender to humans. As their actual gender identity is something previously almost exclusively found among the Yetis of the Far Frozen and a few other ghost settlements that have primary population that's never been human (where Prime chooses to live the majority of the time as the only Clone to inherit Danny's ice) and doesn't really have a direct counter part in human culture.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST BEAUTIFUL FEATURE?

Kogami Shinya's most beautiful feature is their most sinful body part.

Squint. "And which part would that be?"

@hvndredstories

It - he - hadn't been right since he fell through the ice.

Maybe it was meant to be nice, or relaxing. Have a break, let his body recover from literally dying, give his ribs a chance to heal over the cracks and the bruises and regain some of the weight he'd lost in the freezing. The coma had been, well, close, and maybe not any closer than he'd ever really been before but it was the closest he'd ever felt to it. You know? This was supposed to be time to catch his breath, everyone else was catching their breath about what had happened, and he sort of... it was all ...

grey.

He wanted to be alive, he was grateful to be alive, but he felt a bit like a zombie walking. Fragile. The physical therapy was taking it out of him, and he was still weeks of work away from being cleared again for duty. He -

[Text] Nikolai -> TK: I thought you wanted to talk.

Would it be really, really shitty of him to ask Nikolai to hook up, when that was the last text he'd received, more than two weeks ago? That was over a month of waiting on TK to get back to him. To be fair, a lot of that time had been spent in a coma, intubated, torn between staying alive and freezing to death, but he still... he still had said he'd wanted to talk. And then effectively ghosted the guy.

He hadn't asked Nancy her opinion. It would have been tough to ask her about this guy without it throwing up red flags and that was its own thing and yes he did want to talk and he desperately, really, wanted to feel something.

[Text] TK -> Nikolai: I really do, but tonight I want to f--

no.

[Text] TK -> Nikolai: I do. [Text] TK -> Nikolai: Can tonight just be a booty call?

It was exactly as promised. All else aside there was a certain predictability to their interactions, save for the advent of flooding emergencies or shelter-in-place orders or bleeding to death in dumpsters: they said what they wanted and then they took it, and gave it, and it was good and fair and the longer TK had spent with Nikolai the more he'd gotten to know about how this man's body worked, how to make him hum that low tone that tugged at something physical, low in TK's chest. It was good.

Nikolai saw TK, saw the lost weight, the paler-than-normal (and that was saying something) skin, the bruises still not fully healed on his chest, and he said nothing. One of the rules, no words, and even more so tonight because TK had in fact pressed him into the arch of the doorway before they were fully inside and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him and TK was not fragile or going to break or "you must be exhausted" by any of it, and -

he pulled away with a ragged breath inward, shaky and lost for a second because he did not know how he had lost his breath, and this was when he realised that if he did not stop now he was going to be crying, and that would be ridiculous.

"Sorry." He forced laughter, over the top of it. This was messy, and stupid, and not at all what either of them had signed up for. He pulled back and away and turned to conceal it, startled by the intensity of the emotion because he had not actually known he was holding onto it at all. He swallowed. Sniffed. When he swiped at his eyes they were dry, which he guessed was less pathetic than it could have been.

Their pants weren't even off yet.

He had asked him here. What TK had wanted out of that, what he'd... he shook his head, controlled his exhale. This suddenly felt very unhot. "I'm a mess."

So I think I've finally cracked the code on why Wander feels so familiar to me!

This show could also be described as "SpongeBob in Space but what if he was a person you'd actually want to hang out with. Also Tom Kenny is still here."

[Image description: a Venn diagram showing the character of Wander from Wander Over Yonder at the overlap between Mr. Rogers and Bugs Bunny. End ID.]

bit of an odd question, if you could make your own group from already existing idols and songs what would you pick? something like idk taemin kai and boa performing nobody by wonder girls or what not, just whatever number of ppl and whatever song you think suits them 👀

LKJDASFLKJF you know, i'm tempted to just stick with your example answer bc i think that would be sooooooo fucking funny to see and makes zero sense. tbh i don't really think about 'ideal' covers bc i much prefer that people have original work that's made for them and takes their strengths into account. so i don't really know of any songs specifically that i want people to cover, but as far as person combos, i would LOVE to get shotaro, hwanwoong, and soul from p1harmony to do something! like a best of 4th gen dance crew, basically. oh and actually on the topic of dance crews i want to get ten and winwin in the same room as seowon and minjun from nine.i and have them do a modern dance routine! or even just a contemporary routine, but i want them to do something weird. OR get them to do a huang xiao routine. he can choreo a routine for them i think he and ten would have a great time together being elegant and serving cunt. would LOVE for donghun and jun to sing with forestella, i think we deserve that and they're literally labelmates it can happen. would love for donghun and jooan to do something together, maybe like feel you (the flower of evil ost) ohhhhhhhhh or something like fei's fantasy!! honestly you could give them anything and i'd be happy. idk, there's a lot of options.

was watching a video on how shit the pocahontas movie is and thinking about the mystification of native americans in media and how they're usually shown to be serious, quiet, and typically not very emotive- i have just realised that i cannot imagine a native american child being silly and having fun because i've literally never seen that before and that is so fucked

[image ID: a screenshot of a discord chat with username “wenge (when-gay)’ carrying out a one-sided conversation expressing her reluctance and fears regarding driving at 1:08 a.m. the other person in the conversation’s responses are not shown]

Added Muses & Their Tags & icon examples:

both are no available for interactions!

Konan:

✖konan musings║the person you are looking for no longer exists; are you lost in the past?

✖konan headcanon║this looks like the end of the story; but it isn't — I've been waiting for my chance to destroy you

✖konan ic║you try to find meaning in death; but there's only pain & hatred that you don't know what to do with it

Kushina:

✖kushina musings║we'll forget the sun in his jealous sky as we lie in fields of gold

✖kushina headcanon║neither of us have any sort of luck do we? you keep the world at bay… but i keep you at bay

✖kushina ic║you gave me something that no one had before — you gave me peace

omg slush puppies are a british thing too! also had after swimming lessons. every swimming pool must have a slushie machine or else it is a bad swimming pool

what flavours do you prefer? on the rare occasion the flavours weren't just blue raspberry and strawberry, i'd go for blood orange

YOU GUYS ARE GETTING STRAWBERRY AND BLOOD ORANGE?

(cherry is my fav lol)

Fuck Alberta it sucks here

truly do think this heat is making my dad go crazy because he’s been making the lives of everyone in this house a living hell for the past week just on his whims and random temper tantrums like this cannot go on i’m so sick of just being forced to take whatever stupid shit he decides to throw at us speaking as if he’s the righteous man of the house that knows it all n keeps this family afloat w his ~logic~ and ~reason~ i’m not kidding the next time this man speak to me or my mum or my brother in this way i’m killing myself