With credit towards @jhaernyl who shared some fantastic doctor/surgeon humor with me that ended up leading to.....
The ZoLaw AU No One Asked For...
Where Law is a surgeon on some small Northern Island.
Recently Transfered Nurse Sabo: Excuse me, sir, there is a man here? Roronoa Zoro. He's apparently suffered a small injury.
Law: *sighs* Let me guess, that loudmouthed robot made him come in.
Nurse Sabo: No, he-
Law: Robo-ya's wife then. At least one of them is sensible.
Sabo: He came alone, sir, said he was training and suddenly felt something was off balance. I couldn't -
Law: *Going completely still*
Law: *Turning and grabbing the poor new trainee by the shoulders* QUICK! Answer me this: did he finish his training?
Sabo: Err, no, he said he was worried and he came right in so-
Law: BEPO GRAB THE CRASH CART! WE HAVE A CODE GREEN!!!
Law rooming down the whole hospital.
Law: WE CANT LET HIM GET AWAY HE IS SERIOUSLY INJURED *Pointing dramatically as Shachi and Penguin nod to one another, both grab jing gurneys and blocking off the ER exit*
Zoro: *Raising an eyebrow, though also still suspiciously holding onto his arm* Honestly, Torao it was no big deal, I feel fine now.
Law: *sighs* Zoro-ya... *looking down at the floor.*
*....And there is just a trail of blood on the floor leading to Zoro who is holding into his arm which he has (roughly) bandaged on.*
Zoro: What?
Law: .... Zoro-ya, give me your arm. Now.
Zoro: Torao, I told you, its fine, I just needed some ba-
Law: Give. Me. Your. Arm.
Zoro: Tch *hands over his stupid traitor arm*
Trainee Nurse Rebecca: *passes out cold*
Law: Zoro-ya, what has Law said about cutting off your own limbs!?
Zoro: But you always fix it and it was easier than-
Law: That's not the point Zoro-ya! You can't just cut off limbs whenever it's easy!
Sabo: So are they always like this?
Older HCA Ikkaku, who is used to these idiots: *holds out popcorn bucket to share*
No words. Her show is on.
Sabo: But none of the TVs are-Ooooh
HCA Ikkaku: I said shhh!
Ikkaku: Roronoa just mentioned Doctor Trafalgar just being sour over Zoro's ankle stitches. That ALWAYS leads to drama.
2nd HCA aka Perona: *appearing from nowhere to grab a handful of popcorn* Doctor Trafalgar hates those scars. Everyone in the hospital - depth, probably the whole town - knows as much. Law doesn't exactly make it a secret.
Like catching someone up on a your favorite long running television show.
Only its live and one of the people is holding a detached bloody arm.
Ikkaku: *ignoring the wide eyes stare from young nurse* Ooh, Looks like Roronoa is going to let him attach it.
Perona: *giggling* Doctor Trafalgar is gonna give him such a hard time! Horohoro, I'll bet he wouldn't even call for the anesthesiologist!
Law: AND DON'T BOTHER GETTING CESEAR! WE'RE DOING THIS NOW!
Ikkaku: Yo, new guy, stop just standing around and get your pal there off the floor.
Perona: And hurry up, we doesn't want to miss when Roronoa finally smiles. Doctor Trafalgar goes bright red! It's SOOO cute! 💕
She's right, too, as anyone whose worked there long enough will attest. It's the best part of the whole show.
The trainee and new transfer are not sure about all this, but the employees who have worked there awhile seem to be.... enjoying it?
Law: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT!? WHAT IF I WASN'T HERE TODAY!? AND DON'T JUST ACT LIKE IT WAS A MINOR PAIN!!!
Zoro: Hey! Last time, when Robin made me come (damn noisy witch) and I showed the lady what was wrong, she passed out and you got all-
Law: Because you can't just show our poor check in team a gaping chest wound, Zoro-ya!
Law: *eyebrow twitching* Still! You're supposed to mention when you've CUT OFF YOUR OWN ARM!
It doesn't seem fair for Torao is getting so upset with him, especially since this time Zoro came in without even being made to. Oh, and he knew it wouldn't be a problem! Torao is the best surgeon in the world, Zoro knew he'd be able to fix him.
Sure enough.....
Zoro: Oye, Torao! Look at that! It's good as new! *Bright, sharp smile* See, ai knew there was a reason we kept you around!
Law: *immediately frozen*
HCA Ikkaku: *nudges nurse* Wait for it...
Law: *frozen*
HCA Perona: *holding onto the trainee Nurse too tightly, eyes wide* Here it comes....
Law: *whole face turns bright pink, pulling his surgery mask up as if hiding* Whatever you idiot! Now, stop getting yourself hurt! I'm not sewing on any other limbs for another month at least, I swear!
Zoro: You are the best, Torao *smile getting even brighter*
Perona: 💕 Ahh, aren't they so cute? 💕
Rebecca: Are they?
Sabo: Or are they just scary?
Zoro: *still with that sharp smile as he twists his arm, practicing all his sword moves. Absolutely glowing with pride* Not even a scar, doc. You really are the best.
Law: Of course I didn't leave a scar! I'm not some useless sack of flesh like that Hogsback asshole. I would never leave you with an unwanted mark.
Zoro: *still studying his arm, smile becoming softer, warmer* You know... I wouldn't mind a little mark. So long as it was from you.
And Law's mask gets pulled up so high he's practically got his eyes covered.
(It's both.)
(They're both adorable and scary.)
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
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