#this was bigger but I couldn't get it right
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Spoken For - CC
Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: You and Caitlin may be a little too discreet when it comes to your relationship - Based on THIS request
Warnings: hidden relationship, slight angst
Word Count: 3.7k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: GAH this is such a cute idea - I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments.
You met Caitlin in middle school. Both of you played club basketball and were always at the same tournaments. Your teams faced off pretty often and you got to know how she played. It made it even more interesting when your coach had you guard her frequently - learning how she was almost unstoppable. The two of you talked here and there, mostly about basketball whenever you did see each other and were in a space where conversation was required.
It wasn't until eighth grade that things sort of took a turn. It was at a tournament that both of your teams had to travel to. When you got there, your team went to watch Caitlin's play - seeing how they were doing before you had to take them on yourselves.
While you were watching them - you noticed Caitlin looking over at you semi-frequently. At first, you thought nothing of it, but as she kept doing it you started to give her little nods. When the game ended and they were dismissed for a rest break, you saw her walk up in your direction.
"Hey CC," you say as you greet her.
She comes up and gives you a half hug - something that wasn’t super common for the two of you.
“You ready to go down?” She says with a little smirk and gets up in your space.
“In your dreams,” you say with a laugh and give her shoulder a little push. “I think the question is, can you put up with losing to me again?” You say as you stare her down - not willing to be the first to step down from a verbal smackdown.
The last time your two teams went up against each other it was absolute carnage. There were times when both of your coaches had to pull you from the game to not get ejected by the refs. Each of your coaches knows how competitive each of you is - knowing losing is not an option. But to you and Caitlin, it was genuinely all fun. It was rare to have someone be as competitive as the two of you and when you face off - it is one of the most captivating games to watch.
“The only reason your team won last time was because Coach pulled me in the last quarter so he wouldn't lose me for the rest of the tournament. You won't be as lucky this time," she says and you just shake your head with a little laugh. Both of your teams are now moving on to their next destinations. She begins to walk past you but doesn't leave without saying, "Plus, my dreams about you are much different." You question if you heard her right, you look up at her and start to feel the blush creep into your cheeks. She gives you a wink as she follows her team, leaving you there flustered.
The rest of that tournament is filled with stolen glances and a little too-aggressive plays. Nothing to get either of you tossed from the game but enough to keep the two of your bodies close enough to keep the electricity running through your veins. Playing against her this time was different. She never went easy on you but there was a different energy that both of you were aware of. It didn't help that you couldn't get what she said out of your head. Was she just messing around and making a joke or was there more behind what she said?
In your final game against her team, you noticed there was a bigger shift in your relationship with Caitlin. During the second quarter, you got fouled pretty bad by a girl on her team and you fell, getting the wind knocked out of you. It took you a second before you were able to get up - you waved off your coach and really anyone who was trying to help you up. You just needed a second to refill your lungs. Once you were back, Cait pushed her way through your team and was the one who insisted on helping you up once you were ready. She grabbed your hand to help you up and then patted you on the shoulder, making sure you were alright. You give her a nod and the game continues. Throughout the rest of the game, Caitlin would keep brushing your hand. At first, you didn't think much of it as it happens often when you are playing defense. But kept happening. And then it changed. After you have been on her defense and she just put up a three. The crowd cheered and you both headed back, you running to offense and her to defense when you feel it. Your hands touch briefly and when they do, her pinky hooks with yours - only for a second, but long enough to know that it happened.
The two of you started talking outside of seeing each other at tournaments. It began with texting about basketball or sending each other the occasional snap of each of you dying after practice, saying something along the lines of the other going down. Before you knew it, you two were texting or talking every day and some days even all day.
You found out that the two of you had a lot in common outside of basketball. Granted, a lot of the time you talked, it was about basketball.
It was a few weeks before summer that the two of you found out you would be going to the same high school, meaning you would be playing on the same team for the first time in either of your basketball careers. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.
During your high school years, you grow close to Caitlin. The two of you become best friends on the first day of freshman year. It wasn't surprising to you since you spent the better half of the last 6 months talking nonstop. When practices started, the two of you became inseparable. From then on, you did everything together.
It was the summer before sophomore year that you two decided being friends wasn't enough. It happened on a random Tuesday night when you brought up that one tournament that was the starting point of your friendship. Caitlin came clean and told you she had been crushing on you hard since the tournament where you both almost got ejected in the same game. It was a total surprise to you but you would be lying to say you weren't feeling the same way. Except for you, it was the tournament where your hands kept touching.
The two of you established your relationship before heading into sophomore year. You decided it would be best to keep your relationship just between the two of you, not wanting it to interfere with the two of you being on the same team.
It was junior year when both of you were signed to play D1 basketball. Caitlin at the University of Iowa and you at UConn. It was both an exciting time and a sad one. Your schools weren't close at all but you both knew you didn't want to separate when you left - you were it for one another.
It was the winter break of your senior year when the two of you went to the courthouse. Both of your parents were there, along with Caitlin's brothers. It was at Thanksgiving that you told both of your parents you wanted to get married. They tried talking the two of you out of it but neither of you budged. Neither you nor Caitlin had any doubts that this wasn't what you wanted. The two of you knew you wanted to to spend the rest of your lives together - even if that meant being a part for a few years to live out both of your dreams. Even at the courthouse, your parents were still hesitant but they let the two of you get married.
The summer after senior year of high school held some of the best days and hardest days you have ever had. Caitlin and you were finally able to take a mini honeymoon to the East Coast, spending your days on the beach. Shortly after, you were both called off to your respective schools - going back to being competitors on the court instead of teammates. The goodbye was one of the hardest things you have ever had to endure, Caitlin as well.
Before you left, you both decided to keep your marriage just between the two of you. Neither of you wanted/needed the backlash of it going into this next chapter and you both knew the other was there regardless of the distance between you.
Starting college was a pretty easy transition for both of you - the hardest part was being away from one another. You talked daily, usually calling at night or early in the morning. And every break you had was spent at home with one another. Every school break, long weekend, and break in practice had you two visiting one another.
It wasn't until a certain practice that Caitlin started to question if keeping you to herself was going to be possible for much longer.
"Hey Caitlin, I have this friend who has had an eye out for you since the season started." One of her teammates mentions while they are stretching before a practice.
Caitlin laughs and says, "Okay...and?"
"I want to set you guys up on a date. Are you free this Friday?" She asks. The other girls around them encourage Cait to get out there. She has been the only person on the team who hasn't taken any interest in relationships.
"I am not going," Caitlin says. No explanation, no reason. Just a no.
"Why not? It could be really fun! It would benefit you to loosen up a little bit," her teammate says.
Just as Caitlin is about to respond, they are called to start drills.
Practice goes well, and they are feeling good about their upcoming game. The girls make their way to the locker room and are all packing up when the topic is brought up again.
"So...Friday," Cait's teammate brings it back around to get her out of the house on a Friday night.
"What about it?" Cait says with a little laugh.
"Will you go?" She asks. "On the blind date?"
"I am not going on a date on Friday," Caitlin says again. She grabs her back and is ready to head home for the night to call you. She thinks you will find it quite entertaining that her team is trying to get her to go out.
"Well just think about it and we can revisit the topic tomorrow."
Caitlin states again that she is not going but instead of fighting her teammate on it now, she would rather be at home talking to you.
On her walk home, she calls you.
"Hey babe," you say when you answer your phone, wedging it between your shoulder and your ear. Your hands preoccupied with folding laundry.
"Hi," she says and takes a deep sigh. "I miss you."
"I miss you." You respond and take your phone in your hand again. You are sitting on the floor of your apartment with two piles of laundry taunting you. You sit back, leaning against your couch, and bring your knees up to your chest. "I miss you more than you can imagine. What is it another 3 weeks before we get to see each other?"
"Not soon enough," Caitlin says, chest squeezing a little tighter hearing how much you miss her.
The two of you knew this was going to be hard, but it was so much harder than either of you imagined. Going from being with each other every day of the week to every other month, if you're lucky, has taken a toll on your marriage.
"I have sort of a funny story to tell you," Cait continues, nervous all of the sudden.
"And what is that babe?" You ask, hearing a shift in her tone. You think it is the cutest when she gets nervous around you. She never gets nervous around anyone.
"My teammates are trying to set me up on a date this Friday," she says, not knowing how you are going to react. You are a little shocked but also find it kind of comical. Not that Caitlin wasn't dateable, you knew first hand she was. It was the fact that she never showed any sort of interest in anyone but you.
"Sounds like junior year of high school all over again." You say with a little laugh.
Caitlin's memory takes her back to junior year when the team kept bugging her about turning down Sam Anderson's prom proposal.
"I completely forgot about that! The team wouldn't drop it!" Caitlin says, a smile on her face as she laughs about the old memory.
"Well duh they wouldn't drop it, he was the hottest guy in our class," you say with a little laugh of your own.
"Hey!" She says offended that you just called someone other than her hot.
"Babe, you know I am yours," you say full-on laughing now.
"I can't believe you just called Sam Anderson hot. I will never forget that," Cait says.
"Ya, ya, ya. I am more interested in who they are trying to set you up with on Friday," you say. No jealousy, just pure interest.
"I have no idea," Caitlin says with a little puff. "I just wish people would stay out of my love life, it is doing just fine."
This causes a little sink in your heart. You know everything is fine between the two of you. But the adjustment has you both feeling like a piece of you is missing.
"I know babe, but it is a sweet thing. Your team wants to see you happy and part of that is being with someone." You say, knowing there is nothing you could do to make this any better.
"I am happy! I am happily married! I have all that I need and I don't need anyone digging into that." She says frustrated.
"Hey, Caitlin it's okay baby," you say trying to calm her. "You don't have to go - just tell them that you are busy."
"They are just going to keep pushing, it was brought up three times in 2 hours. They aren't just going to drop it." Caitlin fights back.
"Then tell them you are married!" You say. This wasn't part of the plan but hearing how frustrated Cait was, your firs thought was to screw the plan.
"No, that's not part of the plan. It hasn't even been a full year! We are sticking to the plan and that's final!" Caitlin yells. She doesn't know why she is yelling.
"Then go on the date!" You yell back. Frustration now seeing out of you. You feel a tear make its way down your cheek.
Caitlin doesn't know what to say - never in a million years would she imagine hearing you say to go out with someone. Nobody came close to you in her eyes. That is when she realized how much this was all taking a toll on you. Not just in this instance but when it happened in high school. Whenever someone made a comment about how amazing Caitlin is and how she is going to make so many heads turn. All the talk was always about her and never about you.
"Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so worked up," she says just above a whisper. Caitlin hates that she let this all get to her, so much so that it was her doing that had you sitting on your floor crying.
You sniffle and bring your hand to your head. You don't know what to say. You didn't mean it when you told her she should go on the date, it came out in frustration and you instantly regretted it.
"I know," you choke out. "Hey Cait, I need to go," you say still sniffling. "I need to finish some things before heading to bed."
"No wait, I don't want you to go in this state," she says in a little bit of a panic. "Just stay on the line with me and we can talk about something else - I don't want us to end today like this." It was a little last-ditch plea.
"I'm tired Cait, we can talk tomorrow. I love you," you say, tears streaming down your face.
Caitlin hates this.
"I love you," she says and hears you hang up.
You don't mean to be this curt with Caitlin. You have been under a lot of stress as of late between schoolwork and basketball and not having her with you kept you on constant edge. Talking to her every day has helped but you missed her presence, having her near. The calm that she brought you is one that you haven't felt since both of you went off to uni.
The next day rolls around and Caitlin's teammate texts her about setting her up. Caitlin ignores it and gets going with her day.
The two of you talk that morning - both apologizing for how the conversation the night before went. You both decide to take a quick weekend trip and meet in the middle for the weekend, knowing you both need time with each other, even it if is less than 48 hours.
Just knowing you are going to be in Caitlin's arms soon is enough to give you a push through the week.
Caitlin on the other hand is itching to see you. She begins to count down the hours until she is back with you.
When she arrives to practice, she jumps right in as if it will make time move faster.
During practice, the team takes a quick water break.
"Hey Caitlin, have you thought about Friday?" Her teammate asks. "I told them about you and they are looking forward to getting to know you."
"I told you I am not going," Caitlin says. Not this again. "Plus I am not going to be here this weekend."
"Okay well then Thursday would work," her teammate says clearly not dropping the topic.
"How many times do I have to tell you I am not going?" Caitlin says in disbelief that her team is pushing this so hard.
Another one of her teammates speaks up, "We just want to see you happy, you seem so tense all the time."
"Trust me, I am fine. I'll be better after this weekend," Caitlin says as she thinks about spending it with you.
"Just a few hours, it won't hurt anyone," they continue to pry.
Caitlin gets fed up with them all trying to force this on her when she has made it clear she is not going. Even if they got her to go on this date, she knew they wouldn't stop until she started seeing someone.
It is at this moment that the plan of you two waiting until after college to reveal your marriage flies out the window.
"I am not going on the date because I am not a cheater!" Caitlin practically yells and sits down. Everyone just looks at her with confusion.
Caitlin, with her face in her hands, brings something out from her shirt. It is the chain of her necklace. Everyone knew she wore a necklace but no one knew what was hanging at the end since it was always tucked away in her shirt. She finds the end and pulls out a ring. It is the ring you exchanged in the courtroom that one beautiful winter afternoon.
She takes out the ring and places it on her ring finger, which causes even more confused looks from all of those around her.
"I am not going on that date because I am married," she says and all the girls go crazy. All of them in unbelief of this plot twist their friend and teammate were holding from them.
They pull her up and start pushing her around in excitement that their friend is not only seeing someone but is MARRIED.
"This is actually insane!" One girl says. Caitlin hears things like 'There is no way', 'How has she kept it a secret for this long', and 'When were you married, we are so young'.
The one thing going through Caitlin's mind is how she is going to explain this to you. Her beloved plan - poof, gone just like that.
All the girls are too excited to get back to practice but somehow manage to get through it.
Before she knows it, Caitlin is on a plane heading to Colomub, OH. The two of you planned it so you would arrive within half an hour of each other. Her being the first to arrive.
When she lands, she checks the arrival board and begins to make her way to where your plan gets in. She walks up just as they open the door.
Your plane starts to de-board and you grab your overnight bag. As you make your way off the plane you look at your phone to see if there is any update from Caitlin. You have no notifications from her, just your coach about everyone's home workouts for the weekend.
As you get off the plane you begin to look around to see which way you need to go when you see your favorite person in the world, standing there, waiting for you.
You immediately run up to her and jump into her arms, dropping your bags in the process.
She squeezes you so tightly, that it is hard to breathe. Not that you care.
"Caitlin," you say as you inhale her scent. Missing her was an understatement.
"Hi baby," she says as she finally puts you down. You grab your bag and take her hand. When you look down at your fingers intertwined.
"Babe, you're wearing your ring!" You say in surprise.
"Well, I may or may not have told the team that I have a wife and have been married since high school..." she says hoping there would have been at least some time for them to just be together before she had to tell you that her plan is no longer the plan. She prepares for you to rip her a new one.
When you don't immediately react, she looks over at you.
You just squeeze her hand and lean into her.
"So much for your precious plan," you say with a little laugh as the two of you walk out of the airport.
AN: Thank you for this fun request! Let me know what you think! And as always, thanks for your love and support 🤍
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark imagine#caitlin clark masterlist#caitlin clark concepts
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More serious summary of the livestream
Unfortunately I can't provide a full translation because the entire time I was watching in autistic excitement like 😊🥰🤩 whilst my brain melted out my ears and didn't pick up on a lot
Luckily, I have a feeling someone will get around to translating this stream eventually since they finally had the BGM on a lower volume so everyone was audible the whole time
Without further ado:
We started with introductions
seating order is Yamanaka, Yurina (Es' VA), Minami (Amane's VA), Ryouta (Kazui's VA) and DECO (who dyed his hair blonde)
They each have one of the 4th anniversary acrylic stands in front of them
The actors have their characters
but Yamanaka has Haruka and DECO has Muu
Yamanaka admitted to being a Haruka oshi/fan
Then Minami talks about being a Fuuta fan (she calls him cool) and she's handed the Fuuta stand and she pushes the Fuuta and Amane stand next to each other (and jokes about their height difference then imitates Fuuta going zenbu zenbu zenbu!)
But then Yurina sticks her Es stand in between them to separate them
And then they move the Amane stand next to the Kazui one and everyone coos
Before moving Amane and Fuuta back together in front of Minami
Then they basically just lift all of the stands up on to the table and continue on
They discuss their thoughts on the trial
Looking at who got voted inno and guilty
Minami is happy Amane got inno but has no idea how Mikoto wasn't guilty
They note that the audience wasn't very happy with Kotoko for beating up the other prisoners
Then they give some thoughts on the MVs from Daisuki to Deep cover
They get most excited talking about Cat and Purge March
Kazui says that he was able to put the right emotions into Cat because he recorded the voice drama first
Yurina and Minami actually caused the microphone to peak with their excited shrieks at one point (ow)
They answer some audience submitted questions
One question was answered along the lines of "Be prepared"
One was submitted in English and they tried to but couldn't read it
Then they got a question (in Japanese) from someone from 韓国/South Korea
[side note: I feel like the south korean milgram fandom has gotten more prominent recently, its always been there but it feels bigger than ever and that's pretty cool]
After audience questions they made a few announcements
Some things we already knew, the gratte cafe crossover, the Kotoko line stickers, Earbuds are still on sale (and they're making badges and stuff based on the earbud promo art) the 4th anniversary art/acrylici stands literally in front of them
Then some new things:
Minigram LINE stamps (everyone was especially pleased for the Kazui XP stamp)
There's going to be a part 2 to the Karaoke collab (no details yet other than its coming)
They also announce this year's perk for annual members
[the pain of being an annual member but living outside of Japan so you can't get these 😭]
Blank lamenated cards of the prisoner's interrogations and a whiteboard pen so you can write your own interro questions and answers
They bring out the cards for Kazui and Amane and do some examples
"Do you like cake?" "I don't eat it."
"What did you have for lunch today?" "Gyudon." [a beef and rice dish]
Then Minami just writes "Toilet paper" in katakana and everyone laughs (Then she writes Toilet paper rap/lap/wrap and I'm not sure what she means)
Most exciting is script books for the Hallucenation liveshow (scripts of the voice dramas and songs)
The live show uses condensed versions of the voice dramas but this is the first time we'll have official transcripts of key moments to help check translations with
Then they start saying that T2 was hellish, but T3 is going to go beyond hell: They're going to send everyone to Super Hell
And at this point my brain fries and overloads on eeby deeby memes as they all go back and forth talking about Super Hell
They all start doing their outros/saying goodbye
Yurina talks about upcoming challenges we have as guards meanwhile Yamanaka ominously holds the Haruka stand up in frame
Then that's basically it, not much going on because a lot of stuff (like Hallucenation, the plushes, earbuds) came out right before the 4th anniversary
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Imagine being a freman captured by feyd and just as you’re on the cusp of stockholm syndrome he spits on you. To him he’s just degrading you but you see it as an honor he’s giving you his water…
oh I love this. I feel like to fall into this the Reader has to be primed for it.
Like the Fremen seem to live in fairly small groups (aside from the deep south) so if Reader came from a bigger family then their romantic options may be severely limited. Reader, feeling lonely and longing to leave their small settlement just to find romance would be a great start for this AU.
Then when Feyd captures her, she knows he's probably going to be tortured and killed or turned into a slave. She may have read books and heard stories of dark lovers being soft for their one true love but she's not an idiot, she's under no illusions this will happen to her.
But then the first few weeks pass and Reader is unharmed. She's not tortured or raped and doesn't even see the face of any person other than Feyd.
Feyd is likely thinking he'll keep Reader like an exotic pet - the last of her kind once he razes Arrakis to dust - as he torments her with news of Fremen death. (Paul's rebellion is taking way longer ig)
Unintentionally, he's training Reader bit by bit to be totally dependant on him. He brings her food and water when he visits every second day so the relief of hunger and thirst becomes inescapably entwined with Feyd's presence. As he is literally the only other person she sees, he becomes the only thing she can think about, the only thing she ever dreams about.
This is when the spitting scene occurs. It's a declaration of love. Reader's thrilled. She swallows. Feyd begins to spend more and more of his time just thinking about Reader because no one ever reacted that positively to him just behaving however he wanted (this would probably work best if the Harpies weren't allowed to come with him, were killed right after he arrived on Dune or never existed in the first place).
Childish dreams of an Out-Worlder sweeping Reader off her feet and away from her inescapable family and into a life of dramatic romance begin to be mapped onto Feyd's face as Reader spends most of her time alone in the darkness of her cell.
Until I'm thinking Gurney and some Fremen scouts break into the Arrakeen palace for an assassination attempt and while they're there, they free Reader against Paul's orders (Hey, she has a big family at least two of them are on the team). She's ok with leaving until she learns they want to assassinate Feyd. The Harkonnen tactics advanced so much upon his arrival they think they can win if they take him out. Reader knocks them out from behind. This is how Feyd find her. Surrounded by the unconscious bodies of her would-be rescuers.
I couldn't pick an ending here so here's both:
Feyd tests Reader by "accidentally" letting her take one of his swords. She uses it to kill the scouting team to protect him. He proposes with the idea of stringing her along and seeing what else he could make her do for him before locking her up again. However, the horror that his fiancée evokes in the Bene Gesserit makes him so happy he decides to drag it out longer. Then, she tells him about the deep-south holdouts and stops him from relaxing when all the northern Fremen are seemingly dead he has to keep her on his arm a little longer. Then she wins a sparring match against him so he has to keep her around until he can soundly beat her, take everything she can teach him and turn it against her. Before he knows it they've been engaged for a year and there's legitimate wedding planning happening. He still wouldn't call it love but it might be as close as he gets. Reader still loves it when he spits on her.
Feyd gets Reader to fake a break-out and helps her move the unconscious rescuers out a secret escape. When they wake up she claims Feyd found them but she killed him and dragged them all to freedom. She's his spy on the inside and with the confidence of Feyd's supposed assassination Paul and the other Fremen will be overconfident. This would probably culminate in Feyd winning the knife fight against Paul and then saying, "You did perfectly, sweetheart." And Reader bolting like an Olympian into his still bloody arms.
#feyd rautha harkonnen#feyd rautha x reader#original#asks#feyd x you#thank you so much for sharing your idea!#Hope i did OK!
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@bubblespinkss How would they act with their crushCan you do "How they would act with their crushes" with taiga, too. Please?<3
That's such a cute topics omg I love it. <33
How would they act with their crush
Including Umemiya, Taïga, Sakura, Suo, Kiryu
Umemiya
I think Umemiya would be the type to want to pass all his time with you. No matter what you do or what he does he just you to be there with him.
Seeing you make him feel happier, less stressed, only good feelings when you are around.
He invite you every day to go on the roof and help him with gardening.
If you don't know how to garden even better it's a chance for him to be closer to you. Obviously just to teach you nothing more~
Or if you do know how to garden he would be so impressed. Like how could you be so perfect in every way.
Umemiya would invite you to go to the little restaurant kotoha has. In fact he would like to introduce you to everyone he knows.
Everybody in the gang knows he loves you and everybody is rooting so hard for him.
Dude would give you plant and be like it made me think of you.
He would always tries to make you smile and laugh. Your laugh is such a sweet melody to his ears.
Taiga
I think Taiga would at first tries to speak lower. Kiryu once told him if he acts with that much energy and speaking so loud he would never get a girlfriend (this is canon Kiryu we love you but that's also why we love taiga.)
But boy get so excited around you he can't keep himself calm. That's fine you found that cute.
It's like being with you get him 100%more energy.
He would even do more exercise to impressed you (obviously after that he can't feel his muscle but that s fine.)
Would ask you if his muscle get bigger.
The first time he met you he ask you what was your mantra you answer right away with an answer that was such like you very confident in what you said he couldn't help to fell for you.
Will definitely ask you to come to the gym with him. If you are a beginner he would help you build a program for you. If you are not the gym would be a competition.
Always buys you food after the gym.
His smile would be so bright you would have to wear sunglass.
Sakura
This guy wouldn't even notice his feelings for you. He only realized it when Suo and Nirei pointed it.
At this exact moment his face went so red it could have explosed.
Before that his behave with you was totally normal of course he would be more carrefull and stuff but it was natural for him to act this way.
Now that his friend pointed it his face always got red whenever you a real around. He always knew he felt different with you but not at that point.
Would definitely be the type to carry your bag without even ask. He would just take it and be like I just do it cause it's the furin way that's all. He would never admit it's just because he doesn't you to lift something in front of him. He just doesn't want you to get hurt.
He would even eat your vegetables if you don't want them. Even if he doesn't like them he doesn't want you to be embarrassed about it.
Would definitely ask you to fight with him for fun. He just wanna see if you are strong or not.
Of course he would always defend you in a fight nobody can touch you but he also wanna see what are you capable of.
Suo
One of the sweetest. Such a cutie.
Always tries to make you laugh. We all know Suo is a joker he likes to crack jokes but if you are around and he makes you laugh that's even better.
The fact that he makes you laugh would give him butterflies. He would be so proud and so happy to hear you giggles and his jokes.
Would definitely be the type to buy you some gift but never let you notice it's from him.
In fact since you were yapping about how much you wanted to know who it was he started to put some puzzle like a little game between you to see if you would realized.
He knew you did when one day he went put a gift for you and he found a bag of tea at the spot he usually put his gift.
Now you just exchange gift time to time but never in person always using the same systems.
He loves spending time with you, he would ask you to come walk with him and even tries to teach you some of his moves.
Would definitely invite you drinking tea while reading a book.
Kiryu
(Help this boy is so fine. Like I'm obsessed with him having his hair like this.)
Would be so sweet around you. Like one of the sweetest just like suo.
He's such a cutie. Always remove one of his headphone when you are around. Some time even pass you one so you could enjoy music together.
Definitely made a playlist for the both of you. You guys listen to it often even when you are not together.
If you are into game he would love to play with you. Like every change he gets he asks you to join his game. The one who lose buy food for the other at the end of school.
If you are not he would try to teach you some easy game so you could okay together.
Always carry your bags that's what gentleman does.
Would come with you to get your nails done or even your hair or to buy new clothes.
He likes to match you. Like you're at a store he would picks hairpins to wear together. Even though you guys aren't a couple it still cute so you wear it anyway.
Buy you some of your latest new interest and even listen to you speaking about it for hours. He just love the sound of your voice.
.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・
In receiving request it makes me so happy I love you guys.🧡🧡🧡
#anime#headcannons#kiryu#nireii#suo#windbreaker#windbreaker satoru nii x reader#windbreaker satorunii#x reader#as your boyfriend#hajime umemiya#taiga tsugeura#kiryu mitsuki#suo hayato#sakura haruka
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IT'S DONE! I made a book! I never thought I'd ever be able to make a book. Sure mistakes were made but it was still a fun process and I learned so much from making this first one.
This a binding of The Wayhaven Chronicles IF but with my personal Detective's choices included and the resulting text smoothed out to read more like a novel.
Honestly, I thought something like this would be way beyond my skill set but it wasn't as scary as I thought once I got started. Definitely check out @renegadeguild for some book making and typesetting guides and their discord is super friendly and helpful as well.
If you want to learn from my mistakes I'll go into some trials and tribulations under the cut.
I'm not sure how well this book will hold up long term but that's ok! It was more about learning and I'll make some adjustments and try again with the same text probably.
Typsetting
Margins - need to make them bigger. I mostly read paperbacks so I was going for that format with narrower margins but then when I ran into paper problems, I didn't have a ton of room for trimming.
There was an option on the imposer to add dotted lines to the center fold and I clicked that but they're visible still even after binding. Could be that I needed to sew my signatures tighter and that would help but regardless I don't think I need them in the future so I'll be skipping that feature.
The font was intentionally small, along with the margins, because I was trying to minimize the number of signatures I was dealing with for a first project. I'll bump it up in the future.
Paper (so much wrong)
So the grain should run parallel to the spine but I couldn't find short grain paper. I read at some point that someone recommended using sketch books instead because that should be the right grain. It was not, at least not what I bought, so it still ended up going the wrong way.
The sketch note book I bought had perforated pages. It made them easy to get out but I didn't realize that the page widths were inconsistent until everything was printed out. The paper width varied by at least 1/8 of an inch. I wasn't planning on trimming my pages but my top was super uneven because of this so an attempt at trimming was made. It could have gone worse (there was no blood) but the trimming could have been a lot better too.
Should have just used printer paper. The results would have been the same.
Making Book Cloth
Used the Heat and Bond method with some spare fabric and it worked pretty well. The problem was when it came to adding backing. I'd read tissue paper or even plain paper so I grabbed some piecing paper that was close at hand. That was a mistake. It was good quality fabric so it was thicker already and the paper backing made it too thick. I could barely fold it over and it kept wanting to flip up. It's the spine fabric and I'm still concern it's going to do this in the future.
Used tissue paper for the marbled looking fabric and it was much easier to work with.
Book Board
Not measuring right was all on me. The rice box worked in a pinch but I think it will be prone to bending. Got me the experience I needed be wouldn't be my go-to material for a project of this size.
Glue
I used Elmer's All Purpose and it got the job done but, again, probably not going to hold up the best long term. However, I'm glad I didn't buy PVA and basically waste it on this project. Elmer's was good and cheap enough for practice. I'll be getting some PVA for future projects.
#the wayhaven chronicles#twc#bookbinding#life at nerdy holler#nerdy makes a book#Already poking the typeset for a second attempt#I really and truly am pleased with this though#even if it isn't super fancy or didn't come out exactly like I wanted#so jealous of the fancy htv titles and cover designs people make#but sadly I don't know anyone with a cricut or similar to make it
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Pull Some Strings
Fem!Reader x Frank/Adam Barrett (Abigail)
Word count: 1.1k
Rating: 18+, explicit
Warnings: smut, denied orgasm, GodComplex!Frank, JOI, degradion, Frank swearing a lot (as usual), pet names, vaguely non con if you squint bc mind control
Summary: You've been flirting with Frank the entire evening. He tests his new vampire powers and turns you into his puppet. Things get freaky.
Notes: this seems too good to not have been done before, I did have a search beforehand so I'm sorry if it does exist! We need more Frank smut ASAP! Also, reader has nipple piercings in this and there's use of Y/N.
You jump awake with a burning hot pain in your neck. You reach to touch the wound but you find nothing there. Memories start to play in your mind, how Frank willingly accepted the offer to be turned into a monster, while you sat on the floor helpless. You were heartbroken that he could turn into a traitor like that, after the two of you fighting so hard together, but the other part of you couldn't keep your eyes off him, seeing him covered in blood, moaning as Lambert gave him his new life. You watch in horror as he stakes Lambert through the heart, you try to grab the shelf behind you to get up, but Frank stamps on your arm, breaking it instantly. You scream as he pulls your hair, exposing your neck to him.
Frank whispers in your ear, "I'm going to make you my puppet, and we're going to have a little fun". You whimper as he pecks a little kiss on the side of your mouth, and dives his teeth into your neck. You can feel yourself getting colder, your body twitching as you loose consciousness.
*
"Y/N....you are mine"
The sound of Frank's voice lures you back awake. You're in a bedroom somewhere, but you can tell you're still in this god forsaken house. "Oh good you're awake". You look around the room instinctively trying to find the source of the voice.
"What's going on?"
"Keep up sweetheart, did you not pay attention to what happened to Sammy? Or were you too busy trying to get me to fuck your brains out?"
Your mind jumps back to how you flirted playfully with Frank the whole evening. The car ride where you were zipping your hoodie down to make your breasts pop out. When you brushed past him to open the door. The way you would look at his lips, and chew the bottom of yours every time he gave the crew orders. You found him very attractive, and the dominance was a huge turn on for you.
You sit next to him at the bar in the house, "You know, I'm very much into the hot boss scenario". Your hand brushes against his as you reach for your drink. In a split second, Frank pins your hand to the counter and grabs your neck with the other one, "You're really going to flirt with me when we have bigger fucking problems right now?"
Everyone in the group stares at you as you go bright red from embarrassment. You decide to roll with it, liking how agitated Frank is getting at your advances. Afterall you've nothing to loose, no one will know your true name after this. You moan loudly with a "oh yes, harder daddy". Frank lets you go in disgust. He spits out a "fucking whore" under his breath. You hear him and giggle, "only for you" and blow him a kiss as he walks away.
*
Your mind snaps back to reality. "I know how you like being told what to do, and I'm curious to see if this actually fucking worked first time... So...Frank says, take off your hoodie". You immediately unzip your hoodie without a moment's thought, "What the fuck?"
"Frank says undo your bra". You do as he says, part of you is very much into him finally reciprocating what you've been putting down the whole evening, even in these circumstances.
"Frank says play with your nipples". You moan as you grab your breasts and tug gently on your nipples.
"Wait I can feel something cold...do you have piercings? That's fucking hot... Frank says undo your belt". The belt clinks to the floor, you can somehow tell that Frank is doing the same, wherever he is.
"Frank says undo your buttons". You unzip your jeans, and dip your hand in further, you can feel the wetness growing in your underwear as you try and find some kind of friction.
"Frank says stop. Frank didn't say to do that now, did he?"
You shake your head.
"Use your words"
"No"
"No what?"
"No sir"
"Good girl. Now. Frank says to circle your fucking clit. Slowly"
You moan softly, it's painful for you not to do anything else right now.
"Frank says stop"
The slow orders are making you impatient, you need more of a release, "please".
"Please what?"
"I need more"
"Then you fucking wait"
You can feel Frank playing with his cock, it pains you that you can't see, but you can feel him growing hard, the pre cum on his hands. You can even hear his subtle moans as he palms himself.
"Frank says dip your index finger into your pussy".
You sigh in relief as your hand finally enters you.
"Frank says insert another finger"
You fuck yourself open, Frank can hear the sound of your wetness and swears under his breath.
"You sound fucking soaked, the sound of my voice gets you this wet huh? Now...play with your clit".
You start to do so and Frank laughs, "Frank didn't say "Frank says" now did he?"
You cry out in agitation, "Frank please".
"Nah ah, what do you call me?"
"Sorry, sir"
"That's better baby. Frank says touch your clit"
You can feel yourself getting closer, Frank can too. "I'm going to cum Fr-sir, please can I cum?".
"Frank says stop"
"No!" You whimper as you pull your hands out of you. Denying you of your orgasm makes Frank's come quicker, the power over you as well as being a newly turned vampire makes him feel like a God. He takes off his shirt as he starts to cum on his chest. You can feel the hot liquid on your chest too. Your hands feel around but there's nothing there. You're really pissed off, but still very much aroused. Frank moans as he continues to empty himself on his chest, it seems to last forever. As he finally comes to a stop, he lets out one last big moan. "Do you want to taste?"
Part of you wants to give him the silent treatment for the way he just used you, but you say "yes sir" like the good puppet you are.
Frank takes a finger of his cum off his chest and wipes it on his lips. He licks it up with his tongue. You can feel the taste slowly seeping into your mouth, you bite your lip and swirl your tongue around, lapping up every invisible drop. It's salty, with a hint of iron, but oddly creamy at the same time.
"I think that was a pretty successful test, wouldn't you say, Y/N?"
You finally find your backbone after Frank and his stupid voice turned it into mush, "Fuck you".
"Oh I will, right after I kill me a vampire"
#frank x reader#frank (abigail) x reader#fanfic#abigail#movie#dan stevens#adam barrett#adam barrett x reader#horror#vampire
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Remember the story of Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Ei, and Yae wih a S/O who got shrunk?
Well what if the opposite happend.
As in Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Ei, and Yae dealing with their S/o turning comically large.
(Genshin Impact) Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Ei, and Yae's S/O becoming comically large
Beidou simply stares at S/O as they now nearly rivaled the ship in size, even when kneeling.
(Beidou) "Well, guess we're not taking you with us anywhere soon."
(S/O) "How did this even happen?!"
(Beidou) "Beats me. We'll figure something out though, don't you worry your little head now...Er, rather big head.-"
(S/O) "Can you at least say that without a smirk?"
Beidou made no reply as her smirk only grew bigger.
Maybe someone around Liyue Harbor knew of a legend or some kind of drink to help S/O shrink?
Or maybe even Xiangling could cook something to do that!
...Well, that dish would have to be pretty big.
(Beidou) "S/O, me and the crew will get you right as rain, we'll have to set sail for a day or two."
(S/O) "So what am I going to do?!"
(Beidou) "I'm going to find the Traveler, they saved the harbor, surely they can save your size!"
Noelle is stammering at the sight of her S/O. A minute ago, they were only slightly taller than her.
Now, they were nearly the size of a house in the city.
(Noelle) "WHAT HAPPENED?!"
(S/O) "I-I have no idea! I just blinked and...!"
Noelle immediately stands on the top of her toes, giving S/O a reassuring grip on their shoe.
(Noelle) "I'll grab Master Jean! Wait right here!"
(S/O) "R-Right....Not like I got anywhere to go anyway..."
A crowd was forming around S/O, but due to their size, they were able to trail Noelle with their gaze, seeing just how fast she ran.
(S/O) "Could she always run that quickly...?"
Eula's eyes go wide with shock, as S/O now stood over the trees without any issue.
Which was concerning, since they were only the same height as her thirty seconds ago.
(Eula) "What in the hell...?"
(S/O) "E-Eula?! Are you down there?"
S/O did their best to crouch down without crushing her or knocking down any of the trees.
For once, she was completely at a loss for words.
No quip or remark to address the situation.
(Eula) "A-Ahem! We'll get you back to normal, we just have to...uh..."
Eula has absolutely no idea what to do.
At the very least, S/O could make her scouting duties easy.
...Maybe she could convince them to let her ride their shoulder until they return to their original size.
Shenhe stares at S/O with an unflinching gaze.
One would be forgiven to think that she was completely unfazed by S/O's sudden increase in size.
However, she was anything but.
(Shenhe) "Could you always do that?"
(S/O) "N-No! I have no idea what this is!"
Shenhe's first instinct is to get Cloud Retainer, but she was hesitant to leave them alone.
(Shenhe) "We will get Master. Please, come along with me."
Shenhe insisted on staying on the ground to protect them from any potential threat.
Big or small, she would not let anything touch S/O.
Except for every tree and boulder they accidentally walked into.
Ganyu's stress levels go through the roof.
As did S/O.
(Ganyu) "Wha-I-Bu...?!"
She couldn't even form the words, as S/O panicked at almost hitting the building they were nearby.
(Ganyu) "P-Please wait here, I know who can help us!"
Ganyu doesn't want to leave S/O alone, but only Cloud Retainer could do anything about...whatever this was!
She is absolutely panicking the entire time as she runs as quick as her feet can carry her, any previous fatigue felt vanishing into the wind.
Ei is concerned, but more confused than anything by what happened to S/O.
(Ei) "What in the world...?"
(S/O) "I...I have no idea!"
Whatever this was, Ei would find a way to make her S/O normal.
She has S/O rest in the courtyard as a group of guards protect them from anyone who would mean harm.
But given their size, they probably didn't need it, not including the fact they were in one of the most guarded areas in Inazuma.
(Ei) "I wonder if Miko would have anything to say..."
Ei shook her head at the thought.
(Ei) "She would probably laugh..."
Yae's stomach hurts from laughing, seeing S/O's terrified expression as they now stood almost nearly the size of the Sakura tree.
(S/O) "WHAT THE HELL?! YAE, DID YOU DO THIS?!"
(Yae) "If I could, you would have found out much much sooner. And probably not on top of the hill."
She could probably find a solution very quickly, but part of her wanted to see how this long.
Not that S/O did, but if only they weren't at such a precarious position.
If they fell, now it wouldn't kill them but it would certainly hurt.
But at the very least, she now had a couple good ideas for some light novels.
And who better to sell it than the actual living giant?
#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact headcanons#beidou x reader#noelle genshin impact x reader#eula x reader#shenhe x reader#ganyu x reader#ei x reader#yae miko x reader#beidou genshin impact#noelle genshin impact#eula lawrence#shenhe genshin impact#ganyu#ei raiden#yae miko
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Day 7
Price of Admission by whiskytangofuckfest (trumpetcrumpet) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 6,628, sterek)
"Hi," the alpha said now, ambling forward with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing a flannel shirt over an undershirt, and Derek realized abruptly that he himself was only wearing his boxer briefs. The cuffs rattled as he jerked in an instinctive attempt to cover himself. He was used to being naked, like any born wolf, but now, with a fully-dressed stranger looking over him with interest, he felt exposed.
Intruders didn't get sent home with a cup of tea and a pat on the head. That would send a signal that the pack was weak, that it couldn't defend its borders. Even if this alpha wasn't mad at Derek personally, he still had to do something to make it clear to other wolves they couldn't just cross into his territory, and Derek was the only intruder they had captured. He would have to bear the message for the whole group.
Derek gets caught trespassing on Stilinski pack territory. Stiles takes an interest.
Taking Care by PencilTrash - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 3,413, sterek)
Derek had returned from a conference where the new CEO, Mr Stiles Stilinski, took over his company in a so called meeting where all the white collared, richly clothed shareholders - assholes - voted against Derek. He hadn’t even waited for a final handshake with the new owner. He knew, he’d never be able to fake a smile when his heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. Well, they had Peter to deal with these formalities.
[aka, Derek was already having the worst day when he was hit by his heat, right in the middle of his office]
Be My Strength by Novkat21 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 8,103, sterek)
“I just read about mates. Not much, but enough. Are they really that powerful?”
Deaton hummed and walked over to peer down at the book. “They can be. But it really depends on how well they know each other and their bond. Alphas become far stronger with one and that's why many have their mates go into hiding when a threat is nearby. If they lose their mate, they could lose their minds and become feral.”
Stiles swallowed nervously. “Lose as in…?”
Deaton glanced up at him with a raised brow. “They die. Or are rejected.” Stiles felt his heart drop into his stomach and all the blood drain from his face.
Waiting Games by Jerakeen - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 6,315, sterek)
Being an only child and heir to the throne, Stiles had always known he may not have the luxury of marrying for love. When he’d realized he was an omega to boot, things had taken an even more uncomfortable turn for him.
Omegas are rare. An omega as the heir apparent is almost unheard of.
Which is why there is no wiggle room when it comes to the tournament.
Sweet Buns by skoosiepants - (Rating: T, Words: 17,935, sterek)
Stiles hasn’t seen Derek Hale this close up for over a decade. He looks almost exactly the same, except somehow he seems even bigger and broodier—criminally handsome, with soft-looking dark scruff, heavy brows, light hazel eyes. His gaze zeros in on Stiles almost immediately, and his scowl lightens minutely in what looks like surprise.
Stiles is acutely aware that he has melted butter and cinnamon all over his face, and tries to surreptitiously wipe it with the ends of his sweater-sleeve.
Or-
The a/b/o bakery au with feelings
According to Plans by eldee - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 72,744, sterek)
Five times Stiles and Derek pretend to be boyfriends, and the one time they didn't have to pretend at all. (Or: in which Stiles' plan for senior year is completely ruined by a supernatural creature stalking him.)
Give him back by christinchen - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 21,452, sterek)
Eli feels lost and has seemingly so where to turn. Until a stranger knocks on his car window and demands to know how he got his car!
Drive by orphan_account - (Rating: T, Words: 3,916, sterek)
"Everyone knew you didn't touch Derek Hale's family, leather jacket, and especially not his car. Not if you wanted to live, that is."
Or, the high school AU where Stiles can't decide if he wants to kiss Derek Hale or steal his Camaro. Spoiler: it might be a little bit of both.
hooked on a feeling by EvanesDust - (Rating: T, Words: 2,713, sterek)
Stiles brings Derek home for spring break. Since his dad’s not home, they head up to his room for a quickie. Cue embarrassment when the sheriff knocks on his bedroom door, asking if they're done yet because he'd like to meet Stiles's new boyfriend...
Terrible Twos by alikatastic - (Rating: G, Words: 5,607, sterek)
Derek found himself at Iowa State and loved it. Sure he didn't have his pack or friends, but he was ready for a new beginning. He was perfectly fine being alone until Stiles Stilinski fumbled his way into English 2 class. Derek wanted to get closer and talk to the gangly man, but when he saw him next, a red-headed goddess was hanging off his arm. The scent was different, and he didn't seem to recognize Derek. It seemed like a cruel joke, but something was off. Is everything as it seems, or is there something more going on?
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Genre: Smut
Parings: Enemies to lovers BangChan x f!reader
warnings: mature content!! Meandom!BangChan x sub!femreader, LOTS of degrading, mirror sex, pet names such as ‘Princess’ ‘babygirl’ ‘Channie’ and ‘handsome’, namecalling such as ‘slut’ ‘whore’ etc, slight daddy kink if you squint, after care, mentions of cheating, slight possessiveness if you squint, choking, hair pulling, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex (don’t do this!! Wrap it before you tap it), edging, overstimulation.
ANGRY CHAN HAS MY HEART FR😭🩷😍
No one knows how the two got to this point. I mean they were sworn enemies right? They shouldn't be tangled all up with each other in bed but they were. Let's rewind real quick.
•
•
•
•
You and Chan used to be best friends. Like attached at the hip type of best friends. Until, you took his girlfriend from him a few years ago. That hurt him for many reasons. One because that was his girlfriend and you were his best friend, his girl best friend at that. And that brings me to the second reason, you never came out to him. You never told him you were bisexual which made him just feel horrible. So you two came to the conclusion to be enemies and left it at that. But something in Chan just couldn't let you go. Maybe it was the way your smile lit up the room or the way your laugh made his day. That was probably why he wasn't so mad about finding you in bed with his girlfriend. He was more.. jealous. But not of you, his girlfriend. He couldn't take these feelings so he stopped talking to you as much but it wasn't very easy since you guys were in the same friend group.
This brought you two to today. Another argument, a silly one that ended up getting bigger. This time it was about who was in the wrong for a game you all were playing with the group. You guys somehow ended up in BangChan's bedroom as he was hosting a party, yelling at each other. You were leaned up against the wall while Chan was sitting on the bed.
"God you always fucking do this. You're so insensitive and selfish all the fucking time." Chan yelled out at you as he got off the bed, getting slightly more heated at the words that came out of your mouth.
"No, you don't get to say that. Fuck you Christopher." You yelled back as he made his way over to you. You couldn't help the feeling that rushed through you at the angry look on his face while he made his way to you. He didn't say anything as he got closer which just made him more scary but you did a good job at hiding that fact.
"Fucking damn Chris, you're always so sensitive about these things." You mumbled as you looked away, crossing your arms over your chest. You were about to say something else smart when a hand on your neck cut you off, making you choke on your words. You instantly turn to face him, being met with an angry faced BangChan. You didn't know what it was that set him off so much. It could've been your words or the fact that you called him 'Christopher' or he was just tired of hearing your mouth. Whatever it was, his hand around your next had your heart pumping. He tightened his grip against your neck, squeezing just enough to cut some air from you which made you let out a whine, a look of fear flashing in your eyes.
"Say my name like that again. I dare you." His words sounded threatening enough without his hand being around your neck but that little detail just made you squirm. He pushed his body up against yours even more as he stared into your eyes which honestly didn't know where to look. You didn't know where to look because these feelings were just too strong right now. You tried to speak but your words failed you so you swallowed and just stayed quiet.
"What? Too stunned to speak. Cat got your tongue?" He teased as he leaned down closer to you, wasting no time connecting his lips to yours. His actions caused you to gasp softly, letting his tongue slip into your mouth before you finally relaxed a little. Your eyes closed as his hand on your neck brought you closer to him as he kissed you harsher, his other hand resting on your waist as he kept you pinned between him and the wall. Sure you guys were enemies but I mean why not have a small break between that.
Your thoughts were cut short as a knee came up between your thighs, just making you wetter than you already were. You let out a small whine into his mouth as his knee pushed on your core, making him chuckle a little as he pulled away to look at you.
"God you're such a fucking slut. First you go and fuck my girlfriend then you come to me." He paused for a second as a chuckle cut him off, a dark look in his eyes. "You're such a whore and you know it. Now tell me, whose who're are you huh." He degraded which honestly just made you hornier and more needy for him. You tried to speak but only a small whimper left your lips to which he chuckled at again before pulling you off the wall and pushing you onto the bed, making you fall back onto it as he locked the door. You sat up a little with a red tint on your face as he pulled off his shirt. Your eyes locked onto his toned stomach as he got closer to you, pushing your body down onto the soft mattress beneath you. You let out a small moan as his lips connected to your neck in a hurry, not being anywhere near gentle as he sucked and bit down on the sensitive area. You could feel him through his jeans as he slid himself in between your legs which seemed to be shaking in anticipation. His hands slid down your body and eventually made it to the hem of your shirt as he started to push it up before stopping and pulling away from your neck to look at you. No matter how much you thought he hated you, he would at least make sure you were okay with doing this before absolutely ruining you.
"Is this okay?" His whispered softly as he looked down at you, still wanting to make sure this was okay with you before continuing. Once you nodded he wasted no time with pulling your shirt off and throwing it into a random part of his already sort of messy room as he reattached his lips to your body, his target being your collarbone now. His hands worked on unclasping the laced material that kept something he wanted from him. Once the piece of clothing was removed, you felt a shiver go down your spine as his lips attacked the sensitive bud on your right boob while his left hand played with the other, pinching the piece of skin between his fingers which drew lewd sounds from your lips. He hadn't even really touched you and you were already a whiny mess.
He soon moved away from your tits and down your stomach as his hands worked on removing your shorts. He was so impatient it was almost pathetic but the sight of you right now was even more pathetic. Almost humiliating. Once he got your shorts off he threw them on the opposite side of the room from your shirt as he immediately started working on your clit. The feeling of his tongue against your pussy with your panties blocking it felt so weird but good at the same time. He ignored your hand in his hair as he went down on you like a starved man, making you so close in such little time but of course your pride wasn't gonna let you show that.
You didn't even get to have a chance to speak before BangChan pulled away, looking at you with a smug look on his face. Like he was proud of edging you like that. You let out a whine as you looked down at him before saying something that would definitely come back to haunt you.
"Humph, you can't even make me cum." Chan's face changed almost immediately, his eyes turning a darker shade of brown as he practically ripped your panties off and thew them with your other clothes on the floor before pulling his pants and boxers down in one go. He practically manhandled you onto all fours before you felt him slip into you easily with how wet he made you before. Which made all this more exciting yet a little scary. He wasted no time with moving, fucking you at an almost hungry pace as his fingers digged into your hips. The way he fucked you made your head spin as loud moans slipped from your lips, not being able to keep them in. One of his hands moved up to your hair as he pulled on it, his other staying on your hip as he had a cocky smirk on his face as he fucked you. He was making you look at that pathetic look on your face in the large mirror he had beside his bed. Anytime you were forced to come to his house for a get together and snuck off to his room because you were nosy, you've always wondered what this mirror was for. Now you know.
"Look at you. Looking like a pathetic little whore. You're such a slut," He let out a small chuckle as he picked up his pace a little, making you whine out. "but you're my slut. No one else's." He growled into your ear almost possessively as he fucked you harder, making you closer to another orgasm faster since the first one was pulled away from you. His degradation and passiveness made you whine as it was mostly what pushed you to your orgasm. He let out a hiss as he felt the warm liquid surround his sensitive cock. One thing about Chan is that he was either going to overstimulate you or under-stimulate you. That's just how he was as a person.
"God, first you fuck my girlfriend then you fuck me. You just can't get enough huh. Was her pussy not good enough for you? or maybe it was her tongue. You just had to run to me." He hissed in your ear, having no problem with degrading you. It's not like he didn't do this all the time. He would degrade you any chance he got and now that he got to fuck you while doing it was just pure bliss for both of you. You were seeing stars now as he found your g-spot which made you yell out his name, any cockiness or bratty things you had to say earlier were long forgotten as he fucked you like an angry bull. Seeing this passionate side of BangChan was honestly new to you. Even when you guys were best friends he wasn't ever really this passionate. You let out soft whimpers of his name as you felt your body starting to give out. Chan felt this so he let his hand that was on your hip wrap around your waist to keep you up as the other hand pulled you up so your back was to his chest, both bodies being sweaty as the smell of sex filled the room.
"You're not finished yet babygirl, I still haven't gotten to cum yet and that's a problem to me." Chan growled into your ear as his hand on your waist moved down to rub your clit which made you whimper as you laid your head back on his shoulder. As he saw that his movements only got faster as he started to suck and bite at your neck, not knowing how he got this far without cumming yet as you just looked to beautiful so fucked out like this. You felt your body shudder as you got close to another orgasm.
"Fuck Chris, I'm-" you didn't get to finish your sentence as he suddenly stopped moving his hips but not his hand which made you whine.
"Not my name princess, try again then I might let you cum." His pettiness made you whine a little more but you couldn't possibly think of what else to call him before it dawned on you. Now you weren't the type to beg and you both knew that but you were just so in the moment and just wanted to cum so you couldn't help but beg.
"Please daddy, just let me cum.." you whimpered pathetically which made him chuckle as he started to move again, knowing he won this huge argument you two have been having for the past few years. You felt your back arch as he so effortlessly found your g-spot again. You didn't even get to warn him this time as you came again, not being able to help it. He wasn't too far behind you, painting your insides white as he shot his load inside you. He let out a small growl as he pulled out, watching both yours and his cum spill out of you. He planted small kisses to the bruises he made on your neck, in a weird way soothing the skin. You felt your body go limp in his arms—which didn't go unnoticed by him, as he practically fucked you dumb. He cooed at the sight as he picked you up bridal style as he lead you towards his bathroom.
Once the pair made it to the bathroom, he sat you down on the counter as he turned on the shower while waiting for it to get warm. You looked down at your hands that were not sat in your lap as you thought about the events that just occurred. The life changing events that you can't go back on.
"I'm sorry.. for everything.." Your words surprised both you and BangChan as he turned over to look at you in which you had tears in your eyes for whatever reason. In all honesty he really couldn't care less about you fucking his girlfriend. In all honesty he was happy with you for getting rid of her from his life since she was totally chaos and not in a good way. He really didn't even know why he wanted to be your enemy, he was just so in the moment for weeks and he's guessing the feeling just stuck.
"No babygirl, I'm sorry. I've been mad at you for absolutely no reason these past few years. In all honesty I didn't even care that you did that. If anything I was happy. I don't even know why I was mad. All of this was my fault and I should've been more clear with my emotions." BangChan stated as he cupped your face in his hands, kissing away the stray tears on your cheeks. You couldn't help but feel flustered at his touch and you nodded at his words.
"So this all means you forgive me?" You mumbled as you looked at him, hoping that this did mean exactly what you thought. Your eyes lit up as he nodded which made him chuckle a little, falling in love with you more every time you looked at him. He's been ignoring his feelings for long and being able to express them today was a huge stress reliever for him. He looked over at the bath, noticing it was halfway full which was a good place to stop it had so he did and picked you up again, placing you down in the bath before getting in behind you and making sure you were comfortable.
After he was done taking care of you and himself, he dried you both off and dressed you in one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers since he kind of ripped your panties. He was trying not to get hard again from the sight of you in his clothes but it was hard since you just looked so beautiful. He laid you down in his bed again as he got comfortable with you, laying your head on his chest as he held you close to him like he was afraid of letting go. You were drawing shapes on his bare chest in comfortable silence before he spoke up.
"Y/n... I think I'm.. I think I'm in love with you.." he mumbled as his lips pressed against your soft hair. You had a red tint on your face after hearing his words and a soft smile.
"I love you too Channie.." you mumbled against his skin as you pressed a chaste kiss to his chest which made him chuckle a little. God how you missed that chuckle. You then pulled back to look at him with puppy eyes.
"Does this mean we're a thing now? Or was this just a one time thing. Because if so then we can really just-" Hearing what you were talking about and seeing the excitement drain from your eyes is what caused Chan to place a kiss to your lips to stop you from talking. That surprised you a little bit you eventually gave in and kissed him back. He pulled away after a while before pulling your head to your chest, resting his chin on your head.
"Of course we are silly. You're all mine now.." he mumbled which made you smile as your eyes closed, falling asleep on the chest of someone you knew you loved dearly...
BONUS
You woke up slightly after Chan did, being met with his beautiful brown eyes just admiring your beautiful face. Once he noticed he was caught he turned red as a small smile appeared on both of your faces. You leaned up and placed a soft kiss to his nose in which he returned the favor by kissing your knuckles before intertwining your fingers.
"Good morning princess.." he mumbles, his morning voice sounding raspy and a bit deep as he smiled down at your flustered face.
" 'morning handsome.." you mumble as you just admired his features. It was hard to not think he was handsome. He let out a small chuckle as he pulled you close to him. He then let out a groan at remembering he had to clean up after last night. He would rather get it done as soon as possible than just leaving his place trashed. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your forehead before sitting up which made you whine a little.
"Where are you going.." you mumbled in a tired voice as you looked up at him with tired eyes. He let out a chuckle at your expression. It was like a switch flipped with your guys' relationship. What used to be constant fighting turned into pure love and admiration.
"I'm going to clean, I'll be back as soon as I'm finished love. Just rest here." He told you before getting out the bed and making his way out his room. You huffed a little before hearing a ding on your phone. You furrowed your eyebrows as you rolled over to grab it as it was on the charger. Chan must've done that last night after you fell asleep. That small gesture made you feel all giddy inside. You checked your phone to see notifications from your friend group chat.
MinHOE😍: now now now.. y/nnie, don’t you have something to tell us?
Drama Queen👑🎀: ooooh, some tea??☕️
Y/N🎀: what are you talking about??
MinHOE😍: yk from last night😏
Outtie😚🩷: WAIT NO WAY. WHO’D SHE FUCK IN CHANNIE HYUNGS HOUSE???
Y/N🎀: Minnie please we can talk about this😭
Babygirl🎀: what do me and Minho get for being quiet about this??
Y/N🎀: HAN JISUNG AND LEE MINHO PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING🙏🏽😭😭
Fried chicken☺️🐥: yk now I’m very curious. Please do tell hyung.
MinHOE😍: so the old man and this lil girl right here did a lil sum last night..
Y/N🎀:MINHO PLEASE😭 I SWEAR ILL TAKE YOUR PUDDING
MinHOE😍: you better not. I’ll do you like Hyunjin and shove a bunch of tissues in your mouth until you suffocate.
Minnie👇🏼the🏢: Oop-
A bitch named Chris🖕🏼: stop fucking threatening my girlfriend.
Best rapper (lies👎🏽): IM SORRY GIRLFRIEND??
Outtie😚🩷: WHATTTTTTTTTTT
Drama Queen👑🎀: OML PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY
Minnie👇🏼the🏢: I KNEW IT. THE WAY THEY ARGUED WAS TOO TENSION FILLED FOR THEM TO NOT BE IN LOVE
Y/N🎀: Channie!! I thought you weren’t gonna tell them😔
A bitch named Chris🖕🏼: I think I’ve made it pretty clear who you belonged to last night. Plus they were gonna find out anyways.
Babygirl🎀: okay lovebirds🙄
You couldn’t help but smile a little as Chan’s text really sunk in. You just turned off your phone, ignoring the shock from your friends as you nuzzled into BangChan’s blanket, knowing you found your new favorite smell..
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A/N: so… this took me about three days to write because I kept getting distracted and just didn’t feel like finishing what I was writing so 👍🏽. Also, I will be posting this on both tumbler and Wattpad. Also will be taking requests!!
#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz smut#skz hard thoughts#stray kids smut#stray kids hard thoughts#straykids imagines#kpop smut#kpop x reader#skz x female reader#kpop x fem reader#wh1mp
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When I was your man
PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader
CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF + SMUT
SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N broke up, after 2 years of dating she finally had enough of his shitty behaviour. Tom starts to see her everywhere and deeply regrets his actions, crying for you every night. One night he sees you at a bar, dancing with another man and he approaches you.
A/N: inspired by when I was your man by bruno mars
WARNINGS: dom! tom, sub!reader, eating out, alcohol mentions, fingering
Me and Y/N broke up a month ago, she couldn't deal with my shitty behaviour she said, complaining about how I treat her. When I refused to apologise she took her things and left, texting me later that we were over.
As soon as I saw her say that I burst into tears, realizing my shitty actions towards her.
I went to bed that night but it didn't feel right. It was the same bed but it felt just a little bit bigger, more empty without her, cold and lonely.
I hear our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same. The song we had our first kiss to, lost our virginities to, countless of memories wasted all because of me.
When my friends talk about her all it does is just tear me down, cause my heart breaks a little when I hear her name.
I've been super depressed after the breakup, not being able to sleep properly and not eating. All I wanted was her, to hold her, caress her soft skin, kiss and appreciate her. But she was gone, and I didn't know how long it'd be until I could have her in my arms again.
My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways, caused a good strong woman like her to walk out of my life, and it haunts me everytime I close my eyes.
I couldn't just set my selfishness down for a second, I was a fucking idiot, treating the kindest and most beautiful girl like shit, disregarding her feelings, gaslighting her and neglecting her. I looked at twitter, seeing headlines of her with another guy.
I sobbed and sobbed, crying my eyes out, seeing her already moved on. I knew I deserved it but I wanted her back so badly, she was my everything, my baby, my world. I wish I could turn back time and just start all over again, make her feel like the only girl in the world, make her feel special and loved.
One day I decided to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away, running out of all the alcohol in my house that I drowned myself in. I sat down, ordering a couple shots of whiskey, downing them within seconds.
I turned around to see everyone dancing, sweaty bodies pressed up against each other, making me remember the special moments we shared in this bar, tears welled up in my eyes again.
Then suddenly I saw her, Y/N was there, she was so beautiful, so stunning. Her features glowing from the flashing lights, curves showing off in her sexy dress. My baby was dancing like she loved to do, but she was dancing with another man, he smiled at her, holding her close and kissing her gently.
My eyes widened and I stared there in shock, it felt like the world stopped, like everything went silent. She swayed her hips, grinding into him. She looked like she was having so much fun.
I stepped closer, the lights now hitting me. She turned and looked at me, her eyes widening and her movements haltering. We just stared at each other for a while, she eventually rolled her eyes and excused herself, walking off. I ran after her, calling out for her.
Eventually I grabbed onto her arm, looking down at her "baby..please" I choked out a sob, she pushed me off "get off me Tom, I told you we're over.." she mumbled, not being able to look me in the eyes.
I noticed how she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, I grabbed her chin and lifted it to look at me, "I know im probably much too late, to try and apologise for my mistakes" I sighed "but i just want you to know, I hope he buys you flowers and holds your hand, gives you all his hours, take you to every party cause i remember how much you loved to dance, do all the things i've should've done..when i was your man.."
Tears welled up in her eyes, she hugged me tightly and sobbed into my chest, "oh tom..I missed you so much" I smiled and stroked her hair. "Let's go outside baby..talk about things better, hm?" I mumbled against her hair, she nodded and took my hand, leading my outside and leaving the guy she was with.
We walked to my car and got in, blasting the heating. "He's not with me or anything..i've been hooking up with him for like 2 weeks and I figured paparazzi might have been there to take photos and make you jealous.." she crossed her arms, frowning.
"I deserve it though, I treated you badly baby, you didn't deserve to go through what you did" I held her hand, rubbing my thumb over the skin softly, "maybe you can give me another chance? I swear I'll change baby, it won't be like the other times, I need to prove to you that I can change, I can be a better man for you" I started to cry again, she winced and got onto my lap, wiping my tears away and kissing me softly.
"I'm an idiot for forgiving you again..but fuck you seem so sincere.." she sighed, smiling softly. "I'll do anything for you baby, name it and i'll do it, I just can't lose you" I said, my voice shaky, rough with emotion.
"I haven't been able to function without you, you complete my world" I caressed her cheek. "Let's go home, I'm tired of living out of a shitty hotel" she giggled, climbing into the passanger seat again.
As we got home she rushed in, running onto our shared bed, "fuck..how I missed this bed" she rolled around in it, I smiled and walked in, laying next to her.
"Tom..?" she turned to me, "yes schatz?" I pulled her closer, looking down at her. "Why did you treat me so badly?" her question hit hard, I didn't really know myself. "Uh..I don't know..I was just stupid and I didn't appreciate the wonderful woman I had in front of me, I was a little intimidated, you were way too good for me and I just thought sabotaging everything would make it better, which now I see was fucking stupid" I groaned, rubbing my temples in frustration.
"I'm just glad you eventually saw how it affected me, I missed you a lot I will admit but I was also hurt and I still am" I nodded, "I know baby..and I'm so sorry, I wish I could take back all the pain" I said, reaching out and grabbing her hips, rubbing them softly.
"You know I'd do anything for you, I would take a bullet straight through my brain just to prove my love to you." She chuckled "baby..chill out" I smirked "sorry..I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you"
She climbed on top of me, tracing my features with her delicate fingers. "There will be no sunlight if I lose you baby, just like the clouds my eyes will do the same, if you walk away everyday it'll rain" I kissed her softly, she smiled "Tom that's beautiful.." she whispered and kissed me back.
I flipped us over, me hovering over her. "Let me give you the love you deserve, make you feel beautiful.." she nodded and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing black lacey bra.
My head dove into her chest, kissing and sucking softly.
She moaned softly, delicate sounds coming out of her beautiful lips. I reached down and removed her skirt. Her beautiful figure underneath me.
My fingers traced her curves softly, appreciating her beauty. "So, so beautiful..my angel" I whispered, kissing down her stomach and planting a soft kiss on her panties, her hips bucking up slightly.
"Tom..don't tease" she whined, I chuckled and slid her panties off, bending her legs and prying her thighs apart, licking a stripe on her folds, collecting her juices.
I slowly lapped my tongue onto her her clit, sucking softly, "mm!" she moaned loudly, gripping onto the sheets tightly. I smirked, happy to see her so pleasured.
I sneaked my hand up, entering 2 digits into her wetness, stretching her out. "Oh fuck!" she groaned as my fingers curled at her g spot, "is it good baby?" I teased, she nodded and screwed her eyes shut, focusing on the pleasure.
My fingers found their rhythm inside her, thrusting in and out. I could feel her release slowly approaching, her breath coming in short gasps. I increased the pressure on her clit, sucking harder as I felt her about to climax.
I could tell I was driving her wild, her head lolled back and her eyes were tightly shut, legs slightly trembling. "Cum for me baby.." I moaned on her clit, slobbering all over it.
I felt her pussy clench against my fingers as she came hard, a loud high pitched moan leaving her mouth. "So good.." I chuckled, licking up all her juices and climbing up to hover over her again.
I grabbed my clothed erection, "do you want it baby?" she nodded quickly, grabbing at my pants and shoving them off. I grinned at her urgency, pulling my cock out of my boxers and pumping it a few times.
"Can't wait to be inside you again.." I groaned, pressing my tip at her entrance, slowly pushing in. It had been a while since we last fucked, her "hookups" obviously not as big as me.
She cried out, holding onto me tightly, "fuck!", I dragged my hand down to her clit, rubbing slow circles to let her relax. I felt her pussy unclench on my cock, finally being able to thrust in better.
I slowly thrusted, gradually picking up my pace so I didn't hurt her.
Eventually my cock was pounding into her, my grip tight on her hips, holding her into place. "Fuck..so tight" I groaned, my head rolling back.
"Mmm! Fuck!" she moaned, feeling my tip hit her g spot, I leaned down and started to suck her nipples softly, earning a loud groan from her. My tongue swirled against her sensitive buds, making her throw her head back.
"Cum for me pretty girl.." I grunted, picking up my pace again and slamming into her, the tension building in my stomach as I felt my release approach, nails digging into her hips.
"Mmh! Oh shit!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close, her pussy clenching around my cock, increasing the amount of pleasure I was recieving.
I felt her body shudder under me, her orgasm washing over her and her juices painting my cock, I groaned and came inside her, shooting my load deep into her and making sure to keep thrusting so it could stay in.
I sighed and collapsed on top of her, cock still buried deep inside her hole. "I missed you so much baby..I swear i'll never ever hurt you again, I was so stupid to treat you that way" I winced "please forgive me and take me back.." she frowned at my pain, kissing me softly.
"I know you're sorry baby, it'll take a while for me to trust you again but we can try one more time, don't blow it" she sighed, I sighed in relief, peppering kisses all over her face and flipping us over so that she was on top of my chest, "get some rest baby" I whispered into her hair.
tags: @itsmealaiah @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @bkaulitzlover @ballhair @estxkios @ge-billsgf @charliesgoodboy
#tom kaulitz#tokiohotel#bill kaulitz#georg listing#gustav schäfer#smut#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz x y/n#tom kaulitz x you#tomkaulitzeatmypussy#tomkaulitztokiohotel#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz fanfic#tom kaulitz tokio hotel#i love tommy#i love tom#ilovetomkaulitzhessobaeiwanthimtofuckmerightnow#ilovetomkaulitzmybfomg#i love him#wet and gushy#wet and needy#soaking wet#tokio hotel smut#rough smut#smutty smut smut#smut drabble#tokio hotel fluff#fluff at the end#sweet fluff#fluff
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A doodle I've been working on during my breaks at work
#bg3#bg3 tav#astarion#baldur’s gate 3#tav#my art#i still don't really like drawing on the ipad#but here we are#finished not perfect#this tav doesn't even exist#they live in my brain box#next durge??#I spend too much time thinking of angsty scenarios#this was bigger but I couldn't get it right#plus it's almost midnight and I'm sleepy#mollfie
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Angels’ trueforms in their most memorable moments [26/?] - Nephilim fetus: regular nephil, sired by a regular angel (above) and Jack, sired by Lucifer (below)
inprnt | society6 | redbubble | teepublic | ko-fi
#NEW ONE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES!!! I TOLD YALL I WASN'T DONE WITH THIS!!!#SO sorry it took so long. i still can't control my artblocks. but i've had this idea for so long#spn#spnart#spn art#mine.caro#ok so. explanation time. cracking my knuckles. i haven't done this in so long ahhhh#so i HAD to do nephilim eventually. of course. and the key thing about them is they're the children of angels and humans#and i figured i'd start with a fetus bc that's the nephil version of the angel factory settings. and that needed a shape like the AFS did#it felt right to go with a sphere. and after the nephil is born and becomes a more distinct individual etc the spheres unravel in different#ways. some open up like pillbugs (woodlouse? i never know the right name). others sprout like seeds. others spiral out. the possibilities#are endless hehe. and the sphere had to have a mix of angel trueform and human soul. which i've been coding so far as the black and white#trueforms and collages. so that was settled. but that couldn't be it bc it's not just one and the other. they're integrated in one thing#so. for the regular nephil i filled out some cells in black like angel trueforms and others with collages. in the trueforms cells#and it's Earthly Things like plants and body parts and fruits and animals water and the sky and rocks etc. and a bigger solid collage block#that's just body parts. so specifically human stuff. AND THEN i took that sphere (well circle) and cut it up and kintsugi'ed it with#angel grace. feels like a way to go to represent nephil. and then i added the angel wheels to look like a sort of proto version of AFS#and that's regular nephil. for jack he had to be different bc lucifer nephil is thee antichrist. it's different. so i followed the samelogi#but based on the lucifer trueform instead of AFS. so i painted the solid black with alcohol-based markers so i could smudge it with alcohol#and then added the collage bits (more from a fitness magazine than a fashion magazine i used for the other one. gets a more aggressive vibe#i think. more flexed muscles) and painted the chaotic smoke cloud over it. and then i did the same kintsugi process. i was gonna do it in#silver but figured it made no sense. it should be the same. and the black and gold look cool#and what else. regular nephil has a rosary-like umbilical cord! emerging from one of the poles of the sphere so to speak#and jack has none :// partly bc i forgot at first kfjg but then i didn't go back to add it bc i feel that matches fetus jack's situation#considering it's an angel grace umbilical cord#and i think that's it!#these aren't up on the stores yet but im gonna add them now#hope they're worth the wait. if anyone was waiting for more#Trueforms
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had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it
#j. talks#went to visit my brother in his uni city and also connected it with an event there#I know this event because I went there once with a uni course that of course was with my fave former prof#so I know she's usually there but it's a bigger city and Friday and there are a lot of things at different locations#chances are not zero but I thought come on if anything it will be casual running into her#well as I was waiting with my brother and a whole crowd of people to be let in who do I hea#and see :))) yeah it's my fave prof. and I told my brother and he told me to go and say hi but there were so many people already talking to#her and also going there and saying hi so I simply couldn't. I literally froze our shoulders were nearly touching but she wasn't even facin#me and taking and I just followed my brother and he was like???#what was that?? and I didn't know. and he asked my why I looked so shameful out of all the emotions I chose shame#and I don't know. I don't know why shame I consuming me no matter where I go. but she was busy and imagine I go up and she has no idea who#am anymore. they had to burry me right there and then. so that was that :) now#the name of that street of the location burned into my memory as I was facing the wall well it's the name of [redacted] who I never really#get over and it's been 10 years now soon. and we had a similar experience in December :) where I would have loved nothing more really than#to talk (in Decembar definitely also other things that I miss on some days very much) but I barely got a wave#so yeah :) I actually had a great day but I am more than overwhelmed. I feel like crying and hiding#taurus season is apparently not here to save me? idk#is this all about wasted potential and shame stopping me? maybe. but how the fuck do I get it out of me
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Guess who fucked her wrists up during work because he refused to go on a single break because he felt like that's the only way to prove she's not useless since her autism stops her from doing anything a person his age "should" do
#its me. if you couldn't guess#i did that#i didnt do any actual damage to my wrists but they are in pain and i can already feel that its gonna get worse#and ill probably have an awful time trying to sleep because of it#and look.#i know that im not useless#i know that prople who have similar or bigger struggles aremt useless either#i dont believe that anyone's worth depends on having a job or being productive or whatever#i do know that#but sometimes even when you know something you dont feel it#yknow what i mean#and this blueberry plantation is the only job i can have right now#im not built for a dayjob but im able to work for a few hours with saplings every now and then#though that is. very physically tiring#which is also extra frustrating to me as a young person#because the other older ladies at the job always make me feel like im not allowed to be tired or in pain because im young#so i never say that im tired until im alone w my mom#and i want to prove that im not a useless parasite. i can do some work. so i might as well give my all#and dont take any breaks#im not trying to excuse hurting myself#but you know. its hard to think straight and respect myself sometimes#sometimes its easier to hurt myself in ways that make other people think good of me#im treating myself to some snacks now tho#gonna go buy myself some chips and smoke s cigarette and watch silly videos and play games and go to bed#and yes i know that being kind to myself after i was cruel to myself doesnt fix that#i shouldn't have the mindset of#yeah im being unnecessarily cruel to myself but at least im gonna reward myself later :)#but y'know what can you do#(go to therapy i should go to therapy)#bee buzz
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#no wait listen to me. listen to me#im south asian. my grandparents were muslim. my great aunt and uncle and their children and my parents siblings are all muslim#my parents aren't. they raised us without any religion. without even our national cultural ceremonies tied to islam#dont let yourself believe for a fucking second that has nothing to do 9/11 happening two years before i was born. two years before we moved#im south asian. my dad's first name is mohammed. when we catch a flight we get to the airport two hours earlier-#to account for the time it'll take my dad to be 'routinely stopped and searched' by airport security#routinely is right lmfao. it happens every time we fly#last time i was on an american airlines flight our checked luggage ended up across the continent and took two days to get to us#(my 12yo cousin gifted us an alarm clock that made an ominous ticking noise and we couldn't shut it the fuck up-#the luggage was labeled mohammed and coming from south asia. my sibling jokes it's a wonder we got it back)#im canadian. i cried my ass off to cfa tonight bc of how touching the story of a small town coming together to help a group of strangers is#(can't help thinking that never would've happened in a bigger city? but thereby lies another tale)#and god normally i hate 9/11 stories bc it feels like two sides of my identity being pitted against each other and it makes me so uncomfy#like as a canadian i should be sympathetic towards the states and at the same time im viscerally aware of the lasting prejudiced impacts#but cfa did it so beautifully#will never get over the 'thorough search' scene. 'you will never understand'.#the lump in my throat i get every time I watch my normally distinguished and tough and coolheaded father be pushed through airport security#how resigned he is to it. how he tries to stay dignified. how scared my mom gets every time. how rough they are with him#when he usually commands respect#and yet also the pride and the lump in my throat i got today knowing it was a little canadian town that made a difference#sigh enough out of me i just have a lot of feelings#come from away#team screams
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Okay uh how do you prepare for an interview that's not like, your basic interview. This isn't a Walmart or McDonald's interview, with the same basic questions online that anyone can access. This is an important interview and I don't know how to prepare because there aren't example questions online. I had an interview for this organization last year, different branch tho, but my memory is a disaster so I can't really remember anything. Plus, that interviewer and this interviewer have very different energies. AND I have a different interview for that same organization, just a different branch, coming up too.
I made that confusing.
I'm applying for an organization with branches all over. Last year I interviewed for the California branch, but I can't remember much of it. On Monday I have an interview for a Pennsylvania branch, and on Wednesday an interview for... I can't remember where it is tbh.
The Pennsylvania one is the one that I really really want, so it scares me that it's the first one up. Do you know how long it's been since I've interviewed for a job? It's been *tries and fails to count months* idk like a year? And that was for Starbucks. Customer service jobs all recycle the same questions. "Tell me about a time you delegated. Tell me about a time you dealt with a difficult situation. If a customer was dissatisfied with their order, what would you do to fix it?" And at this point in time, customer service jobs are barely asking any questions. At one of my last jobs he just asked about my previous work experience, why I wanted to work there, how long I was looking to work there, he gave me a tour, asked if I wanted to work there, I said yes, I was hired on the spot.
I had an interview at one Starbucks and she told me they weren't really hiring (idk why she gave me an interview but it was still nice), but we talked about my ambitions and hobbies, which was lit, I found out the interviewer is gay, and I got a free drink. Then she recommended me to a different Starbucks in the area, which actually asked me those normal basic questions, I got a free drink, and I was hired on the spot. Those were my latest interview experiences.
I'm a little hopeful for my interview on Monday though. In the email, the interviewer said "I'd like to find a time to have a conversation with you as an "interview"" and since he phrased it like that I'm hoping that it'll be more like my first Starbucks interview, which is easy.
Idk I think I really want that job. It's a huge opportunity but also a huge commitment. It'd be a year, across the country from where I currently live. It sounds like an amazing opportunity for me. Last year when I applied I asked an old teacher to be a reference, and she said that it seemed like the opportunity and I were made for each other. Plus, this location is just an hour away from my sibling.
This post became a lot longer than I thought I would. Interview on Monday. Different interview on Wednesday. I don't know how to prepare for either. I really want the job. I am full of so much anxiety.
#I'm getting the anxiety shakes#Monday is going to be horrific#i have to wake up early (like 7:30am but normally Monday is a day i get to sleep in)#because the interview is at 9 and i have to do the interview over Google Meet#and i don't have wifi so i have to go to the local coffee shop to steal their wifi. i have to do this damn interview in a busy coffee shop#after that i need an emissions test. the place only does tests from 10 to noon#so after the interview i have to skedaddle to get an emissions test so i don't get pulled over again because my test is four months overdue#then i have to go so work!! i have to work from 3-11pm after all of that!!#i think i might actually die#seriously how do i prepare for this. i couldn't really prepare for the one last year either#i think i just showed up and hoped for the best#idek if i got hired because at the end she told me to email her within like two days if i changed my mind about working there#and i decided i didn't want to work there yet. so idek if i did well enough there to get hired#but now I'm pretty serious about wanting to work there. its terrifying but i think itd be good for me#i havent gone to college yet and the idea of starting is very scary. im not even sure if its the right path for me#but because i dont have any college it means that my aspirations are severely limited and kind of always will be#so im stuck in fast food and i hate it. i want to do something bigger with my life#this is something bigger and it doesnt require a college education#there are decent opportunities for someone without a college education but theyre. idk how to describe it#but things like americorps. ive looked into doing americorps which i dont really need college for. same with this opportunity#idk. im just trying to find something right for me. a job that doesnt suck my soul out. a job i can love#i dont want to feel stuck anymore. i want to have a purpose. but that purpose is a little harder to come by for me#i asked my current boss to be a reference and he said 'are you asking me to be a reference for a job thatll take you away from here?'#i replied 'is it really a job if i dont really get paid?' and he said 'fair enough'#i think he took that to mean that i would still work at this job. thats why i was vague. i dont want him to know i might be leaving yet#if i left it would be late January. hopefully he wont know im leaving until two weeks before i leave#im so nervous. is this even what i want? ill have to give up so much for it. and what if i dont get it? ill still be stuck here#im terrified. wish me luck. or dont. im not sure yet
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