#this scene sucks do not go watch it. but this line is funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skylarsblue · 1 year

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✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

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sleeplesssmoll · 6 months

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Vertin's personality and traits based on in-game context.

Contains Spoilers.

Will update when I find more tidbits about our beloved Timekeeper.

Updated: March 15 2024

Vertin sucks at math.

Not much to say here. Although, this is another difference between her and Sonetto, who loves math. I hope they do something with this later because it'd be fun.

Vertin is 16 confirmed

While this isn't a personality trait, I did see some debate about her age since it wasn't officials stated until now and it was assumed through context. Prisoner in the Cave explicitly confirms her age. Vertin became Timekeeper when she was 12 and has been the the TK for the past 4 years.

Vertin is a pianist and a painter.

You can see a piano in the back of her office in the Suitcase by the window. It makes sense in regards to Vertin's musically inclined Arcanum. There's an easel and stool in her office too. She doesn't merely collect art, she creates it. Vertin also owns a camera (official artwork released) too and mentions her photography in the begining, so this isn't new but I thought I should add it.

Vertin's still playful under all her composure.

We know baby Vertin was a little menace, but we can still see a spark of that mischief in her later years. For example, Vertin slapping a fake mustache on Regulus to avoid Sonetto really captures this. We can tell from other characters' voice lines that Vertin will most likely play along with their shenanigans. She'll chirp like a bird in response to Rabies talking about his bird friends (Wilderness interaction). She'll help Sonetto during hide and seek (Wilderness). She watches movies with Eternity and An An Lee. X asks her for help with his projects. Going through her crew's voice lines really paints a better picture of how she interacts with others. The voice lines point to someone playful and curious when she's not in work mode.

Vertin was a gremlin.

Vertin's love language is giving.

We know baby Vertin loved to give gifts to a reluctant Sonetto, but that part of her still exists. She tried to grant everyone's last wishes during the 1929 Storm. We also know she gives Lilya alcohol as a gift upon her return from 1929. She is also very direct. We see her ask people what they want or what can she do for them throughout the story. To expand further, you could say she likes fulfilling people's desires instead of limiting it to material gifts. We can see more of instances of this during the Green Lake event, especially in the way she protects Jessica from the Foundation. She also tried to get Regulus funding for a ship. I love the Suitcase Dad meme, but it's rooted in nuggets of truth.

She was a crappy student, yet she was also a resourceful gremiln. Vertin never liked the institution! Honor student? Top of the class? Never. Teachers are filled with that "Godamnit Vertin" energy toward her too. I hope we see more gremlin energy in the future.

One-sided childhood friends.

Vertin is a collector.

Sonetto and Vertin were desk mates but Sonetto couldn't stand Vertin when they were kids. She even tried to avoid Vertin at times but Vertin persisted with her gifts. We can see this in the hallway scene. Sonetto's about to change routes to avoid Vertin but Vertin called out to her to give her a frog she caught. Kinda funny how Sonetto can't stand Vertin but also can't resist her when they were kids. Vertin and Matilda were actually closer back then. Well, at least until the tear gas incident. Sonetto changed after Vertin was hurt and the rascal wasn't around to bother her. I feel like this tidbit says a lot about Vertin and her influence on people.

Baby Vertin collected rocks, bugs, and frogs. Adult Vertin collects painting and mementos of people she's lost. Things were simpler as a kid.

Vertin is stronger than she looks.

She was a wild child and she's still got it years later. Vertin can run for long periods of time, endure injuries, and climb obstacles. That, and she's still essentially a child solider. We see her hold her own when she needs to fight solo doing stuff like dodging bullets. Sonetto and Matilda also exhibit these freakishly athletic traits, especially Sonetto.

Vertin befriends people in every Era, despite knowing she'll lose them.

Compared to the other children raised by the Foundation, Vertin's traveled the world and witnessed loss in every Era. This opens doors to a whole new set of questions. How did she change over time? How do the Arcanists she recruited before the story treat her? Did she have crushes in previous Eras? Were the oranges just as bitter? Vertin seems to get close to people very easily and doesn't build walls around herself despite the trauma. You'd think someone who's lost so much would stop trying to get close to people, but she doesn't.

Vertin is optimistic.

Even as a child, she was full of hope. It's why she fights for the future and is a core part of her personality. She needs to fight for all those she lost and stop the Storm from taking more lives.

Vertin gets quiet when embarrassed/shy.

She'll blush and fall silent, but she doesn't stammer or go all tsundere. We can see this in voice lines. Sonetto's high praises make her cover her face with her hands. Eternity gets a reaction out of her when she holds her hand. She also blushed when she received surprise smooch and fell silent.

Vertin has a unique scar on her back.

Vertin is a tactile person.

Arcana mentions the scar after Vertin was shot multiple times in the back by Schneider. It's a big scar and new theories about the scar are ongoing and interesting!

In several voice line interactions, Vertin is patting people's heads or holding their hands. Not all her crew mates are on board with it, some seem confused, and others play along. We can also see examples in story like her handing Sonetto a frog while gently grasping her hand or her taking Regulus's hand to lead her into the Suitcase. Here is a post with the evidence to back this claim.

Vertin sucks at arcanum but her deep understanding of arcanum is uncanny.

The story mentions her weak arcanum skills throughout the story. They really want you to remember this. Also, her arcanum didn't manifest until sometime after the break away event but before the events in the prologue. During her stay in the guardhouse, she doubts if she's even an arcanist and mentions her arcanum has yet to manifest, which is wild. Smoltin is fighting with her tiny hands and wit in this chapter. However, in the prologue it's mentioned Vertin's understanding of arcanum and her perception makes her unique amongst arcanists. She's also considered more "rationale" than other arcanists. You can read more about this here.

Vertin is stealthy.

Smoltin sneaks around to play outside. She steals food for herself and the Ring from the Staff Canteen, which has better quality food than what the kids get. This tells me she's done this before. Adult Vertin also sneaks around the Walden to find Schneider. She makes maps, tracks guard routes, and avoids detection since whe was a kid.

Tooth Fairy was one of the few Foundation members who cared about Vertin.

Tooth Fairy is the one who gave Smoltin the toffees (chit chat voicelines). She also covered for Vertin on a few occasions to protect her from punishment. She remembers Vertin faking her illness to skip class, but her bruises and wounds were real. The Foundation does have a few kind hearts that genuinely care about the children. The causes of Vertin's injuries is up to speculation.

#reverse 1999 #vertin #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 spoiler #spoilers #timekeeper #long post

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wilbursprincess · 3 months

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Superstar bur or simpbur dealing with a bratty bottom w/ a breeding kink?

No I'm not calling myself out

💕

“We Both Know Who’s In Charge, Darling”

Superstarbur x Female Reader

Warnings: Dom!Superstarbur, Sub!Reader, Brat!Reader, blowjob, brat taming, breeding kink (use protection, kids), spanking, begging, praising and degrading, plenty of aftercare, is this the unholiest fic yet?

Hi anon… you called me out too <3 ANYWAY I’ve been wanting to write something along these lines for quite some time, but now that I have an ask… I have my coffee, new Hermitcraft to watch, and I am ready :D

I took a lot of inspiration from @clitsuckerer for the blowjob scene (her fics are some of the best I’ve read on here! Apple Of My Eye, Gamer Fingers, and Mommy Vibes are my favorites).

Fic below cut!

“Aww, look at you, all dressed up for me,” Wilbur coos, admiring the tight red dress hugging every curve, leaving nothing to the imagination. “Don’t you think it’s a bit long, though?”

I reach behind me, tugging at the hem barely covering my ass. “Very funny. How long until our dinner reservation?”

Standing behind me, I feel his hands trace down my waist, out to my hips, palming and squeezing my ass. “Long enough. What do you say?”

“Aw, someone can’t control himself.” I murmur sweetly, giggling as his gaze hardens. “Why don’t you try asking nicely?”

Wilbur smirks, lifting me onto the kitchen counter and nudging my legs apart with his knee. “Why don’t you try asking nicely?” His fingers slip up my thigh, tracing lazy circles. “We both know who’s in charge, darling.”

“Do we?” I retort, tugging on his tie.

Two fingers nudge past my thong, slipping inside me and curling to hit the perfect spot, making me swallow down a groan. “We do,” Wilbur says sternly. “I can feel how wet you are all over your thighs, darling. You really like to run that little mouth of yours, hm?”

“Whatever, you love it,” I say sweetly. “Or is that just something in your pocket?”

Wilbur doesn’t reply, just pumps his fingers in and out of me faster. My forehead falls onto his shoulder, his other hand reading behind me to help me ride his fingers.

“There you go, darling,” he whispers. “There you go. Be a good girl and cum for me.”

I’m too far gone to do anything else, my kisses turning into nibbles and bites as I get closer and closer. Just as my core tightens, the pleasure reaching a peak…

He stops.

“Wilbur, c’mon,” I whine. “Why?”

“Did you really think it would be that easy?” He says, amusement clear in his voice. “No, I just thought that since you like to run your mouth that much, you should be putting it to better use.”

I’m too frustrated to reply, letting myself be scooped into Wilbur’s arms and carried into our bedroom. He sets me on the floor, just in front of the edge of our bed, sitting in front of me and loosening his tie.

“Go on, you know what to do,” he says sweetly.

“And why should I?” I retort with a sly smile. “If you didn’t let me finish, why should I get you off?”

“Because if you do, then I’ll reward you.” Wilbur replies, starting to unbutton his shirt.

“Reward me how?”

“By railing you so hard into the mattress, all you’ll be able to say is ‘Yes, Wilbur.” He says, crossing his arms and looking smug. “Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.”

I oblige.

“Good girl,” he praises me, unbuttoning his fly and tapping his cock a few times on my tongue. “Aww, I love seeing you so eager to suck me off.”

Wilbur roughly grabs my hair, tugging on it as I bob my head up and down. My eyes water as he slides deeper into my throat, but I keep going, desperate to please him.

“Look at that,” he observes once I’ve got all of him in my mouth, not a small feat by any means. “You were being such a brat earlier, and now you’re desperate to take me all in your throat.”

Obviously, I can’t reply, face burning from how smug he sounds.

I let him use my mouth however he wants, his hand on the nape of my neck letting him set pace and thrust. I fight my gag reflex, spit dripping down onto my chin as he nudges deeper into my throat.

“You take my cock so well,” Wilbur murmurs, moaning in satisfaction. “Damn, it’s almost like you were made to, my God.”

The praise makes me wetter, squirming around on the floor of our bedroom.

I pull back a little to start stroking him, too, which, depending on how you see it, was either a mistake or a genius idea. A few seconds later, he groans and explodes, coating my throat, lips, and chin in sticky white.

Panting, I lick everything off my lips, wiping my chin, looking up at Wilbur and waiting for my praise.

“Fucking hell,” he gasps, smiling at the remnants on my face. “Get on the bed and take off your clothes.”

You don’t have to tell me twice.

I unbuckle my heels and tug off my dress and thong, groaning as I watch Wilbur’s shirt hit the floor, followed by his pants and underwear.

“Turn around, baby,” he murmurs, and when I do, he slides his arm into the curve of my waist and rubs himself through the slick between my thighs. “I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

“Says the man who came about 5 seconds after I started using my hand in a blowjob,” I giggle, pressing my ass against him. “Go on, you were saying something about ruining me?”

His hand harshly slaps the smooth skin. “You little brat.”

“You love it,” I retort. “And you know I’m into getting spanked.”

Stinging pain hits the left, the right, and the left again. “You sure you want to play it like this?”

“Always.” I give Wilbur my biggest, brattiest smile over my shoulder, letting out a moan when he gives me another harsh spank. “Be careful, you don’t want to hurt your wrist.”

“Your ass is going to be red raw when I’m finished with you,” he says, giving me the hardest spank yet and smiling when I yelp. “It might not make you learn your lesson, but it sure is fun.”

I sigh happily. “Sure is.”

After one last slap, he slides his cock through the wetness coating my thighs, pushing himself inside slowly, the two of us moaning in unison until he’s fully buried inside me.

“So wet for me, baby girl,” Wilbur says, pushing on my lower back so my ass arches higher. “You look so good from this angle.”

“You sure it’s all in?” I coo. “Not sure I feel anything.”

He thrusts into me so hard I gasp, burying my face in my arms. “What was that?” Wilbur says dangerously, tugging sharply on my hair. “Say it again? Didn’t quite hear you.”

All I manage is a moan, and he snorts in satisfaction. “That’s what I thought.”

I hate how smug he sounds, but my head’s too fuzzy to complain. The only sounds filling the room are Wilbur’s groans, my soft moans, and the sound of bare skin on bare skin. He’s got a firm grasp on my hair, letting me bounce back against his thrusts so he hits me even deeper.

“Can’t run your mouth when you’re getting fucked dumb?” He taunts, tugging my hair to make me nod. “That’s my little cockslut.”

My legs feel like jelly, the only thing holding me up is Wilbur’s arm firmly in the curve of my waist. My knees are shaking so much that it looks like my entire body is quaking under him, and it’s clear he’s enjoying how much of a shaky mess I am.

“I’m close,” I manage to sigh out, groaning when Wilbur slows down. “What are you doing?”

He chuckles. “Since you couldn’t bite your tongue earlier, it only makes sense you want to keep talking. Beg for it.”

“Wilbur!” I say indignantly as he lets go of my hair and rests a thumb on my clit. “Please!”

“Please what, baby girl?” To really rub salt in the wound, he circles my clit a few times. “What do you want?”

“I want…” I swallow down the moan threatening to spill out of my mouth. “You.. to let me-“

My sentence cuts off as he lays yet another harsh spank on my ass. “What was that? You cut off.”

Frustrated tears prick the corners of my eyes. “You cut me off!”

“Life isn’t fair, princess,” he says lightly, flicking my clit a few times and laughing as my knees shake. “What were you saying?”

“Let me finish!” I finally cry out. “Please, let me finish!”

Wilbur pretends to be surprised at my answer. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

I’m too exhausted to even balk at that, not bothering to muffle the noises I’m making as he finally pushes me closer and closer to my climax.

“You want me to fill you up, darling?” He whispers, holding himself back from finishing before me. “You want me to breed you?”

“God, yes, please,” I moan out, practically screaming as he tips me over the edge and I ride out the waves of pleasure. Just as I’m slowly coming down from my shattering high, I hear Wilbur let out a long, low moan and bury his head in my shoulder as he spills inside me. The warmth fills me from the inside out as he makes no move to pull out.

“Wouldn’t want to let any of this go to waste, huh?” He murmurs softly, flipping me onto my back, replacing his cock with his fingers and thrusting his cum back into me. “There we go, sweetheart.”

His lips meet mine in a gentle, tender kiss, all the dominance gone in a heartbeat. “You alright? I wasn’t too rough?”

I sleepily shake my head. “You’re good. Are we late for the reservation?”

Wilbur nods. “We are. It’s ok, though, I’d rather spend the evening in bed with you.”

“But it’s with so many music producers!” I gasp, trying to sit up. “This could be monumental for you and your band-“

“No, baby, it’s fine,” he promises. “There will be plenty more chances for my band. Spending time with you is far more important.”

The soft glow of love washes over my entire body, and I nestle closer into his chest. “Are you sure?”

“Never been more sure about something in my life,” Wilbur murmurs. “How about we go have a shower together and polish off the rest of that chocolate cake in bed afterwards? Maybe watching a movie as well?”

I kiss his forehead. “You’re speaking my language.”

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age-of-play-i-say · 3 months

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are you ever going to continue the middle and little series? not to pressure, just asking because i really enjoyed that first installment <3

Funny you should ask, I've been hanging onto 80% of this one for awhile, thinking it needed more editing but like here you go!

“Okay, is everyone ready for movie night? Still feeling good about the scene?” Daddy’s doing some last minute checks before headspace made that kind of thinking feel far away.

Baby nodded from her playpen and Little piped up from the couch, “yes, Daddy! Essited for watchin’ a big kid movie!” Daddy chuckled.

“Okay, well remember to double tap your watches to call me if things get too intense or you need my help, ahem, finishing up.” Daddy winked at Baby, who blushed, falling into headspace out of sheer embarrassment.

“Be good to our Baby, okay Little one? She’s still adjusting and she needs your sweetness and helping hands. Enjoy your movie nap together, I’ll be back in an hour.” Daddy flipped on the prepared DvD and strode upstairs, confident that his Little could handle this.

Onscreen appeared some of Baby and Little’s favorite characters, but they weren’t solving mysteries like usual. They were just talking so far, and pressing their faces together noisily.

Baby watched, wide-eyed, suckling her binkie and looking littler and littler in her crinkly diapey, surrounded by her plushies. One of the characters on screen took off his undies, still noisily kissing a girl onscreen. Baby’s sweet little face wrinkled, confusion passing over her pretty features. Little saw her eyes flit down to the man’s big grown-up stiffy and she went even pinker.

Little wanted to focus on the fun, grown-up playtime video on the screen, but that involved tearing his focus away from Baby, whose nipples hardened instantly when the kissing started. He wondered if Baby remembered their first kisses, around her comfort binkie, the same one she’s suckling now. He wondered how it might feel to kiss her like the girl on the screen.

Should I get nakey? Little wonders, shifting his hips closer and closer to the edge of the couch.

He looked Baby up and down, and saw her bottom lift and fall against the puppy pads lining her pen, bouncing subtly. Her eyes were glued to the screen, and Little was embarrassed to see the lollipop game he sometimes played with Daddy up there, the girl in the scene on her knees kissing and licking all over the guy’s big stiffy.

Little closed his eyes, feeling light-headed and falling deeper into headspace.

Soooo tingly, wan touchies. Big kid touchies.

Behind her paci, he heard Baby whine, just pouting. She’s so little, she barely knows about tingles, but it’s clear to Little that she’s getting all worked up and tingly. His heart aches for her, so confused, so little.

“Baby! You like da movie?” he palmed himself over his undies, making sure to grind up into it with a sweet, little moan when she tore her eyes away to look up at her Big Bubba Little.

Baby nodded, sucking her paci a little extra before spitting it out to hang on its lanyard, pressing her hand in the same spot Little did but over her big puffy diaper, “ye, like ‘im lots n lots,” Baby chirps, “but feelin all sticky in m’ diapey!” She tries to hump her hand, but just kind of air humped back and forth confusedly. She whines again, louder this time.

Bubba Little felt a curl of earnest affection burst in his heart. She needed his help.

“Bubba can help, lil Baby.” She looks up, teary-eyed, to see Little sliding off the couch. He came to the edge of Baby’s playpen and pointed at a big teddy bear in the corner.

“Grab your bear, get on your hands and knees, and tuck him ‘tween your legs under your diapey.” Little pressed his hand against the front of his pants again, watching her comply with his request.

“Put your binky back in, too, you don hafta talk at all, Bubba’ll tell you what to do.”

Baby whole face relaxed when she popped her paci back in her mouth, happy to be taken care of again. She settled in on top of her bear and looked up at the screen where the lollipop game was heating up.

She looked to her big brother for help, “what is-?” she managed before lapsing into another big-eyed silence. She bucked her hips like before, yelping when her sticky padding actually provided friction.

Her eyes returned to the screen, in awe of the feeling she could provoke with just her hips motion. She ground down again, her little face and shoulders relieved at the freedom from her own thoughts combined with being able to seek her own pleasure.

Little can't take his eyes off her. The man onscreen keeps making dirty noises, but Baby's humping and whimpering takes precedence.

“'s the tingles game, Baby, I play wit Daddy if ‘m good,” Little can't keep his hands off his winkie now, this naughty interaction searing his brain. Looking at the screen again, he suddenly wishes Baby would use her mouth to play the lollipop game on him. He can't ask their pure, pretty Baby to do anything so naughty.

His cheeks turn pink and he snatches his hand away from his stiffie, embarrassed. Daddy said to let Baby initiate play when she's ready. In fact, he’s under strict instructions not to get inside the playpen with her.

“Tin-goesth?” Baby murmurs around her binky, not tearing her eyes from the screen. She leans back on her haunches, putting more pressure on the bear and her privates, but it doesn't seem like enough for her. She ruts shamelessly into her bear, faster now, cheeks pink and eyes glassy.

Little watches for a bit before making a decision. He can't get in and help her, but he can show her what to do. Pulling down his pants, he blushes. He’s all stiff and tingly, and Baby will see it! He steels himself and pulls down his big boy undies, coming around the front of the playpen, winkie out.

What he sees makes his heart squeeze. Baby's tired herself out, humping hard and fast, getting nowhere but more tingly. She's laying on her bear, not even looking at the movie, twitching her hips while tears squeeze out of her eyes.

On seeing her Bubba come around her playpen, she jerks up, embarrassed and on edge.

“Ting-goess, hewp pwease?” She whimpers, scrambling on her knees to the bars of her playpen to grab her big Bubba's hand before seeing his stiffy poking out under his shirt.

She doesn't shy away from him, looking from his stiffy to the screen and then back to him.

“Ye, Baby, I help, I help!” She's asked, so he's finally allowed. He takes the hand she’d holding, reaches down and plunges it into her padding to find her tingly parts.

“‘S okay, Baby?” he whispers in her ear when she eeps in surprise.

“ye, ye, ye Bubba, need hewp tingoes ye” she chants, closing her eyes when he makes contact with her baby parts through all that slick, feeling her tiny winkie pulse.

“Nnnn, Bubba!” she spits her paci out, holding onto his arm. Just like Daddy showed him, he doesn't have to do much.

“Girl winkies are much smaller and more sensitive. Just make little circles, fast and soft. Let her decide the rest.” Daddy's coaching for the last week rings in Little’s ears.

She's rutting on his fingers now, hard and fast.

“Feels good, Baby? Bubba wan make you feel good.”

Baby nods without speaking, her sweet mouth open and her little nipples hard on his arm. Her hips jerk and his whole hand suddenly feels hot and wet as Baby hollers out,

“Bub-bahhh!” She puts both hands on his arm and swirls her hips one more time, shivering, sweet and happy.

He pulls his hand out, proud of his ability to help her make tingles. He stands back up and leans forward to check on her in her playpen. His stiffy jumps, slid between the bars.

Instead of slumped down, relaxing after tingles, Baby was back on her knees, so close it startles him. She looked up at him, pink lips puffy and open, eyes wide.

“tank you Bubba,” she whispers, her innocent blinking making his hand itch to do big kid touches on himself.

“Good job, Baby! Tingles feel good?” She moves in closer, her eyes slide over to the screen where different pairs of their favorite mystery gang are playing the lollipop game.

Her eyes take in his stiffy poking through the bars and she leans so close he can feel her breath on it as she murmurs

“Bubba need ting-goes?”

His hips ram into the bars as Baby sucks on him, pulling him into her mouth like a big binky. She swallows and he squeaks, trying to stay still like Daddy does, but it's hard.

He wants to touch her, hold her close, but doesn't want to scare her.

The lollipop game!

His eyes cross and he understands more why Daddy loves this game. The tingles feels so strong, he certainly won't last much– he remembers how Daddy does stickies so they aren't yucky in his mouth.

“Baby!! Bubba's gotta-ah-make stickies, ummm don-oh oh-here!”

He pulls out quickly enough that she looks shocked, and he pops her binky back in.

He can feel his tingles running up his back already and wraps his hand around his stiffy just into time to pump stickies out onto the floor. Baby's mouth felt so good, he wants to reward her.

But when he turns to her in her playpen, she's holding her bear, still on her knees, tears in her eyes again.

“Baby??”

“did bad? did bad ting-goes for Bubba? why go ‘way?”

“No!!” He climbs over her playpen easily, settling in behind her to hold her around her bare tummy.

He kisses her sweet pink cheek and pops her displaced binky back in again.

“Felt TOO good,” he murmurs in her ear, naturally rocking her back and forth, holding her distressed body under she relaxed.

“too good?” She whispers.

“Ye, felt like–” he points at the screen, where a boy character was screwing up his face and the girl pulled off to rub him hard until his stickies arced up comically high to hit the ceiling, ‘felt like dat, Baby. Felt so good, like I hadda essplode.”

Her crinkly butt bumped his softening winkie and he groaned until he realized she was looking hard at the screen. Her hips stuttered when he spoke.

“‘splode? Bubba felt-?” She points at the screen, hips thrusting

“Ye, Baby, you did so good,” Little feels naughty when he asks, “Baby need more?”

She nods and he reaches inside her padding again, tapping his watch twice before he does.

Daddy will show her bigger tingles. Baby needa essplode.

#maple answers #maple asks #maple writes #agepl@y

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rtc-confessions · 1 month

Note

Outside of the updates made to the show to attempt to fix the ableism modern versions of the shows scripts are less funny and flow worse

Some examples of this are

- after Noel's lament when Mischa talks about watching drag race and using the term "hunty", A piece of information and a item in his speech pattern that doesn't fit his character. This scene works significantly better when mischa talks about the Macklemore song "Same love" because not only is that an absurd way to become not homophobic but it also fits his character as a white boy rapper who seemingly only listens to ringtone rap and (maybe Crunk?)

- Ricky's transition. This entire scene feels so rough. It literally starts with mischa going "ricky why don't you tell us about yourself". As if Jacob was literally struggling to write Ricky's transition and just gave up on trying and decided to have mischa just push the story along because they had to. Which sucks because the earlier versions of the show give Ricky this amazing monologue that tells us more about his philosophies without it feeling too forced.

This also makes comedic lines that do stay from older versions feel like tonal whiplash (to quote a friend, "(modern) rtc feels almost family friendly and then they randomly hit you with 'CHEESE SANDWICHES MADE OUT OF HUMAN BREASTMILK'")

All in all rtc is a great show with a rich history but IMO modern versions of scripts are extremely disappointing compared to the versions that got me into this musical/fandom

#rtc #confessions

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 8 months

Text

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks · 9 months

Text

I have a really weird hyperfixation on The Mummy, but not the Boris Karloff or the Brendan Fraser versions, those would be completely acceptable movies to enjoy (and I do so enjoy them)

but I cannot stop thinking about The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise and it's a problem

I love bad movies, I love them so much, I own so many b-grade horror flicks, old classic films with terrible acting and awful special effects, I love absolutely shit tier cgi, I love Ed Wood disasters, I love cult classic bad movies, I love really weird niche bad movies

but this one is like, such a special kind of bad movie, I can't really put my finger on exactly why though?? but I am damn well going to try, in this essay I will-

they fucked up from the get go by casting Tom Cruise, like this movie is sometimes deliberately goofy, but a lot of the time it takes itself very seriously, SO seriously, and I cannot physically take Tom Cruise seriously, he turns every single scene he is in into a joke by virtue of his mere presence

but when they have actual jokes, they are so not funny they cycle back around to being really fucking funny

I am watching this movie fucking whiff every god damn beat it tries to hit and it does it so beautifully it's a god damn marvel

Russel Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde??? I actually somehow missed the part where he introduced himself as Jekyll on my first watch, so the Hyde reveal was a true surprise to me and I was very genuinely disappointed on my second watch when I realised it was not supposed to be a surprise, because that was a really fun reveal

and Russel Crowe seemed to be having an absolute fucking whale of a time as Hyde, I loved every moment he was on screen with his stupid cockney accent, I would watch his movie, I know it would be bad, that's why I want it, because there is nothing quite like a bad movie with an actor still giving 110%

and the mummy character herself? she was supposed to be pharaoh and then her dad had a son with someone else and now this baby is jumping all up in her place like, okay baby murder might not be the coolest thing in the world but like, she's got ambition, she's getting shit done, she's hustlin' like go get it girl I'm rooting for you babe

also when she sucked the life out of some dude and turned him into a shrivelled husk my roommate said 'she could do that to me and I'd thank her' so she's got that going for her, like girl's a half rotten corpse wrapped in decaying bandages and she still slays

and then we have the completely ridiculous female rivalry??? like this mummy could kill this woman SO MANY TIMES and just doesn't???? for reasons?????? like she could literally kill her in an instant at any moment but no they gotta girl fight for a bit because Tom Cruise is at stake and why wouldn't two hot women fight over Tom Cruise right?? right????

nevermind the fact that he has been practically nothing but ✨The WooOOOOooorst✨ to her the WHOLE first act of the movie, oh and uh let's not forget the 'duh huh guy bad at sex' jokes that they just could not put down for a good chunk there (but wait! uh he's good at sex actually she's just being mean because he hurt her feewings)

like, this movie hits every fucking branch of the bad trope tree, this movie is playing bad trope bingo, it is collecting bad tropes like pokemon, it has to have them all

also a really bizarre ongoing American Werewolf in London reference?? it was not unwelcome, it was some of the best comedy in the movie (that is an easy bar to jump btw), the actor had some great wry line delivery, I enjoyed it

I think the biggest issue, and the reason I can't stop chewing on this magnum opus of garbage, is that it reminds me of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, in several different ways

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen also happens to be another of my favourite bad movies, but it falls into the particular genre of bad movies, a fucking cool as shit concept, and some really cool as shit visuals, and some very cool as shit characters, but an absolute swing and a miss on the delivery

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise has That Vibe to me, there is some cool shit here, we know this because the previous version utilised that cool shit very very well, but this one was the only one who made the villain a woman pursuing a man, and not just any man, the ✨worst✨ man, you did not feel very sorry for this guy, honestly watching him go through the constant torment of being stalked by a bodacious supernatural babe who put a sexy little curse kiss on him was fun, he's a sopping wet little meow meow and I wanna see him thrown at a wall, and I get to see that several times, and it is a delight every time

in the previous movie the mummy went after really likeable characters, people who were just generally nice, a roguish scamp with a heart of gold, or just really hot, seriously that cast was beyond smoking what the fu

I did not like Tom Cruise as a character, and to be fair that was the point, he was supposed to have a redemption arc, the story and his sacrifice at the end were supposed to be about him becoming a better person

but he fucking doesn't??? it's like 'oh boo hoo I have made this great sacrifice and now I am a monster and I did it to save my lady love's life even though we had zero chemistry and I was just ✨The Worst✨ to her' and then he fucks off to go and do the exact same shit he was doing at the start of the movie, fucking around in the desert looking for boy adventures

it was a great ending and I loved it because it was so dumb and also he abandoned the woman he brought back to life to go fuck around with his bro who he also brought back to life, I love that for them, go have some boy adventures you madlads you sure didn't earn it but don't let that stop you, just heterosexually ride off into the sunset together it's fine, she is literally better off without you in every way you made the Correct Decision

and then there's these moments, moments that are treated like big moments, and could be really cool moments, but just don't fucking land

there's a part where Tom Cruise starts talking to the mummy in her own language (they got a psychic bond and shit which is it's own cool little thing we'll get back to that) and everyone is watching like 😮 oooh didn't know he could do that wow there really IS magic bond between them oooh, and it's like a Big Deal and Very Cool

but Tom Cruise just sounds like he's speaking gibberish with a mouth full of novocain???? it doesn't sound cool at all??? it sounds really goofy???? I half expected him to start drooling on himself

then there is the ending, leading lady dies, he completes the ritual to invite the god of death into his body (a fucking baller move honestly), he fights it for control as the mummy attempts to sway the beast inside him to her side, but when he sees his beloved laying dead he fights her off, using his newfound powers to defeat her, and then weeps over his lady love begging for her to wake up

and then as he lets the god inside him loose, a terrible monstrous visage takes him over as he bloodcurdlingly screams in her face WAKE UP!!! and the power within him that he doesn't understand and can barely control listens

she wakes, and sees him hiding in the shadows, unable to face her now that he has become something terrifying

at least that's what I think they thought the scene would be like, it was a little more like, some crappy flashback and speed up effects as he becomes the god of death, a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of him fighting for control, after which he has a really pathetic and uneventful 1 minute of fighting the mummy, and then as he screams for his lady love to wake up, we get a shot of some absolutely fucking god awful cgi and the most uninspired monster face I've ever seen

I mean, half seen, it was a very dark shot, in fact most of the movie is shot in the dark, a very blatant attempt to obscure the shithouse cgi

except in one scene where it kinda fucking slapped, where the mummy sucks the life out of some guys, and then reanimates their husky corpses as thralls, the way they stand like jerky unstable puppets being dragged to their feet by unseen strings was actually pretty fuckin' dope and the dark scene obscured the details in just the right amount to make their uncannily decrepit silhouettes appear super creepy

this is the only time that trick works, every other time I just want someone to turn on a fucking torch so I can actually see what the hell's going on

okay now let's get back to that psychic bond thing

our main character was chosen not because he was a descendant, or a reincarnation, or just Looked Real Pretty (although I think she did have the hots for him a leeetle bit which is like, girl raise your standards, it's Tom Cruise, he's about as sexually appealing as a wet potato, you can do better), he had absolutely zero in common with the mummy's original choice for this ritual, in fact that guy was not significant to the story at all, I think he was just some dude who was down for some ritual shenanigans 'cause a hot lady asked him (also he was hotter than Tom Cruise so this is a significant downgrade, I feel like if she had the opportunity to shop around a little she might have picked better)

so Tom Cruise wasn't chosen for any reason other than that he's the one who released her, and she sees this as her way of saying thank you, and I love that, it's real sweet, would love if I opened a door for someone and they repaid me by summoning a god of death into my body, that really shows they care you know?

she gives him a little hallucinatory kissy kiss and then manages to follow him everywhere, while also compelling him to follow her without him really knowing it, there is a very cool part where he's trying to drive away from her, but somehow ends up driving in a circle and falling right back into her clutches, that was cool, that had the potential to even be super fucking creepy, she can manipulate him without him even realising, it doesn't matter where he goes or what he does, he will always somehow find his way back to her, that's so good, I love that

and then back to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comparisons

The Mummy 2017 starring Tom Cruise established a concept of an organisation who hunt down, collect, and research supernatural phenomena, with a leader (Jekyll) who also has ulterior motives and is actually not really the good guy, this movie was also supposed to be part of a monster movie cinematic universe, so this really could have become like, the Universal Monster Movie equivalent of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and I would have watched the hell out of that, and I am crushed that this movie bombed so bad and ruined the whole plan

like could you imagine a whole series as bad as this movie? all culminating together as the most god awful Avengers style team up? fuuuck I want to live in that universe so bad

I think my fascination comes from this ungodly mix of real pure potential, those fleeting super fucking cool moments and concepts that, if given to literally any other actor, could have really been something, and the just pure insane failure to make literally anything in this plot successfully land a hit

somehow this movie felt like the completely dead and soulless corpse of a cheap party clown, while the ghost of something incredible flickered in its eyes

#the mummy 2017 #movie breakdown #I have Things To Say

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lxvenderjewel · 3 months

Text

i got my best friend to watch GO with me: episode 1

me: are you excited?

him: well you seem excited so

(we spend like 10 minutes figuring out how to do this but eventually we decide to have him share his screen)

*adam and eve going out of the garden*

him: why does he have a flaming sword??

me: you'll see lol

him, later: OHHHH

*opening sequence*

him: why are they fat?? why is there a statue of a baby?? why did they get sucked up by aliens?? are those SHARKS???

me: *cackling*

*aziraphale's bookshop*

me: ughhhh he's so babygirl!!

him: ...is that not a 40 year old man

*aziraphale and crowley get drunk*

*us both cackling*

*aziraphale and crowley sober up*

him: what just happened?? did they piss into the bottle?

me, through tears: no, they removed the alcohol from their body and put it back

him: so they pissed it out???

me: *cackling AGAIN*

*well i'll be damned*

me: *squealing*

him: i can see why you like them so much lol

*nanny astoreth*

him: i thought they said godfathers??

me: *cackling*

*you're rubbish*

me: they're cowards for not keeping the original line in

him, who has read excerpts of the book: vanny NO

*heaven scene*

him: what is this angle?? why are we so zoomed in to their faces??

me: *sobbing of laughter*

*not you i know what you smell like*

me: in retrospect this is such an odd line

him: i mean not really? they've known each other for a thousand years

me: *starts sniffing through the screen*

him: okay STOP

VERDICT:

he says he thinks it's quite funny and he likes the plot, but the screen kept buffering so we might need to figure out another way of doing this. next episode possible tomorrow or the day after we're not too sure how our schedules will line up but i'm quite excited

#good omens #aziracrow #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #vanny forces her friends to watch good omens #good omens s1

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hailuchiha · 3 months

Note

What about a scene with Itachi x big sis? 👉🏾👈🏾

...with pleasure!

sorry for the wait, Nonny!

MINORS DNI

!! 18+ NSFW!!

!!MINORS DNI!!

!!ALL characters involved are 18+ NO MINOR CHARACTERS!!

incest; semi somno; noncon; sibling incest; brosis; taboo

Comfort Seeking?

It was the middle of the night. Itachi snuck into the eldest Uchiha sibling's room, not surprised to find her asleep. Without much hesitation, he crawled into bed behind her, loosely wrapping an arm around her.

Her breathing didn't change, but after a moment she called out in a groggy voice.

"Mmm aren't you too old to come to me after a nightmare, otouto?"

She sounded mildly amused, and Itachi's arm tightened around her.

"On the contrary, onii-san. I think I'm the perfect age to sleep with you."

His meaning flew over her head and she laughed, taking it as a joke.

"Alright, alrigh-"

She trailed off sharply, biting her lip to muffle the surprised moan as his hand slid up her shirt, gripping her breast.

"Mmm... You're so soft, onii-san. Why do you have such large breasts?"

She whined indignantly, hand frantically going to wrap around his thick wrist to stop his minstrations.

"I-Itachi what the fuck?" she hissed, not wanting to wake the whole household up.

Itachi shifted behind her, nuzzling into her neck before biting her skin. He had no plans of stopping, her reaction not giving him any pause.

"Shh... Just be a good girl, onii-san. Aren't you my good big sister?"

"Yes! T-That's why I'm telling you to stop," she said urgently, hoping he'd come to his senses finally.

Chuckling softly, he slid his other hand into her pajama, wasting no time in caressing her soft pussy.

Her breath picked up, chest heaving as her anxiety grew.

"This isn't funny, Itachi," she said, voice coming out breathier than she wanted.

"Hmm, you're right," he said, slipping his fingers into her wet heat. "This isn't funny at all."

Her back shook against his chest from how she trembled, and she tightened her thighs together to trap his hand. It didn't do much to stop his ministrations as Itachi started pumping and flicking his fingers in and out, soon making her pussy slick with arousal from the stimulation.

Her nails dug into his forearms where she was gripping his wrists to stop his actions, but it only fueled his desire. Itachi nipped the base of her neck, rolling and pinching her swollen nipple before moving on to the other breast.

"Stop it, otouto," she demanded, voice shaky and gravelly. "I'll scream!"

"Will you, onii-san?" he pumped his fingers faster, the wet sounds filling the room obscenely. "Then do it."

In response, she cursed under her breath, before yanking his hands away once more. Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise when he actually let go of her.

Finally, she thought, relief flooding her as she hesitantly turned on her back.

Too soon, she was disappointed.

Itachi quickly hovered over her, caging her on her own bed as he leaned down and captured her surprised mouth in a rough kiss.

The next moment, he was lining the thick, engorged head of his leaking cock against her folds, and her eyes shot open. She hadn't felt him yank her bottoms off!

"Wha-!"

He swallowed her shocked exclamation, not allowing her to plead or demand him to stop and pushed into her in one go.

She clamped up under him, face contorting with pain and he gave her a moment to adjust before pulling out and slamming back in, this time, burying himself to the base inside her.

He watched, entranced, as she tried to suck in mouthfuls of air and no sound came out; her nails digging into his thighs as she shook her head vehemently.

Itachi tilted his head, stroking the side of her face gently before pushing back strands of hair from her face.

He leaned down, covering her face with gentle kisses and whispering sweet nothings to her.

"You're taking me so well, onii-san. Such a good girl."

The firstborn Uchiha shut her eyes tightly as her brother hovered over her, thrusting into her again and again. She didn't understand why he was doing this- they'd always been rather close since childhood, but their relationship had always been platonic. It couldn't have been anything else.

...Right?

Itachi picked up the pace, causing her eyes to fly open at the shift, and smiled gently at her, red bleeding into his eyes.

#naruto scenarios #naruto headcanons #itachi #itachi uchiha #dead dove: do not eat #itachi uchiha scenarios #itachi x sister #18+ itachi content #itachi x reader #itachi x older sister #older sister reader #dark itachi

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aristrocrat · 2 years

Text

Upside Down Feelings 3

Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy?

summary: Robin and Steve cheer Y/N up after her little run in with Eddie

word count: 3070

“Jesus..” You grumbled, looking past Steve’s train wreck of an attempt to pick up a girl and seeing your ex walking around with yet another girl in Star Court.

“I know. It’s just embarrassing at this point,” Robin pursed her lips with second hand embarrassment, grabbing the tally board and preparing her insult. The girl at the counter looked at Steve with a look of disgust as he handed back her change. “Pathetic, really.”

“No, not that. Eddie’s back in the mall,” You rolled your eyes. Her eyes widened before they followed your gaze. She opened her mouth to say something before you heard Steve’s girl of the hour walk away in a fit of mocking giggles.

Steve sighed and let his head drop in disappointment as the girls walked away giggling.

“Hold that thought for just one second. Hit it, Y/N,” Robin held out the marker about an inch from your lips. You looked up at her with annoyance. Her eyebrows shot up expectedly before you reluctantly sang the bass line to Queen’s song. “And another one bites the dust! You are oh-for-six, Popeye.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can count,” Steve crossed his arms, not missing the way your eyes focused on someone behind him. He frowned, ignoring Robin’s next line to check out what- or who had you in such a trance.

“You know that means you suck!”

“Yeah, I can read, too.”

“Since when?”

“What’s her problem?” He asks Robin, not catching sight of anything out of the ordinary.

“The E-word walked in with girl number three of the week,” She whispered, scrunching her nose.

“Ah,” Steve said quietly.

“I’m literally standing right here,” You scoffed as your attention reverted back to your friends. “I have ears that work, you know. And you don’t have to call him The E-word. I’m over it.”

Steve and Robin gave each other a look before chuckling. “Yeah, alright.”

“What?! I am!” You held out your arms, not understanding why they thought anything else.

“Please,” Steve smirked, leaning his left hip against the counter and lowering his head to make sure he had your undivided attention. “You wanna know how many times I’ve heard you blasting Careless Whisper in the parking lot before you walked into your shift?”

“Steve!” Your cheeks flushed as you watched Robin perk up. She was not going to let that one slide.

“Four. And that’s this week alone.”

“Dude-“

“Careless Whisper?” Robin asked before erupting into uncontrollable laughter. “By Wham?!”

“First of all, it’s a good song-“

“No, it’s not!” They both chimed in.

“Second of all, it’s just George Michael singing. Not Wham-“

“SHE EVEN KNOWS THE DETAILS!” Robin crumbled into the counter below her. She tried to breathe to spew out a half hearted apology. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry! But that’s so funny-“

“You should’ve seen her!” Steve added on. You couldn’t help but laugh along. To their credit, it was incredibly out of character for you to listen to the music that you’ve constantly criticized. Pop Trash was the term you coined for it. “She was all I should’ve know better than to cheat a friend!”

“Steve!” You laughed, reaching over to try to cover his mouth. “Shut up! People are looking!”

He only grabbed your wrists, before singing into them passionately while looking deeply into your eyes. It was the most comical scene you’ve laid eyes on in days; you couldn’t help but giggle.

“And waste a chance that I’ve been given,” He continued as his eyes furrowed upwards as he sang his heart out to the store. “So I’m never gonna dance again!”

“Cut it out!” Your eyes widened as you caught a glimpse of the couple walking towards the store. “SHH! I think they’re walking in!”

“The way I danced with youuu-MMH!” His eyes snapped open as you pulled your hand free and covered his mouth with it. “Mkay! M’ done!”

“Ahoy-“ You began to mutter before a much louder voice boomed over your own.

“Ahoy, mateys! Would you guys like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me?” Steve shouted over you, making Eddie’s date jump before she giggled nervously. “I’ll be your captain, Steve Harrington! Can I get you guys a little taste of the Cherries Jubilee or, my personal favorite, the Jealous Ex-Boyfriend-“

He cleared his throat before continuing.

“Sorry, I meant the Jelly Explosion,” He corrected himself, making Robin snort from behind you. You rubbed your hand across your lips to keep from laughing as you turned on your heels to go to the back. “No? Anybody? Banana Boat? Strawberry Shortcake?”

“The Jelly Explosion pretty sounds good,” The girl looked up at Eddie who managed to squeeze out a tight lipped smile, not wanting to blow his cool demeanor in front of his date.

“Mhm,” He managed to get out.

“I mean, it’s a little sour,” Steve shrugged. “But if that’s what you’re into, I’ll have it out in a jiffy! That’d be three bucks.”

Eddie quickly paid for their ice cream before taking a seat in a nearby booth. Steve scooped a flavor into an ice cream boat and handed it to them before they got up and left to eat it anywhere else.

“I’ll erase a You Suck point for that. That was good!” Robin laughed before you both clapped. Steve took off his hat to take a bow, thanking you as if he’d just won a reward.

“Do we even have a flavor called Jelly Explosion?” You asked with a smile.

“Pft- No,” He replied. “Those motherfuckers got Jelly Bean.”

“ANOTHER POINT FOR GIVING THEM OUR WORST FLAVOR!” Robin shouted as she used her finger to erase another point.

“If only he could be that quick witted when it came to girls,” You pouted sarcastically as you grabbed your purse and keys.

“You see how she treats me?” His jaw dropped as he looked at your best friend. “Not even a thank you!”

“Thank you, Stevie. I owe you one,” You ruffled his hair with a grin. He grumbled something about his hairstyle as you waved goodbye. “I’m clocking out for the day. I have an early morning. Gonna go pick up Steve’s best friend from summer camp.”

“I thought we were having a movie night tonight,” Robin followed behind you. You shrugged. “Not up for it anymore?”

“Not after girl number three,” You smiled sadly, making her face fall. She nodded nonetheless, giving you a hug before you walked out of the store. “See you tomorrow?”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” She confirmed. You saluted with two fingers before making your exit. Steve walked out of the back just in time to wave goodbye. “I have a feeling we’re going to hear her play Careless Whisper for the rest of the summer… We need to get her a rebound.”

“A rebou- Wha- Hold on. Why does she need a rebound?” Steve stammered quickly. “She doesn’t need a rebound!“

“Maybe Billy Hargrove? What happened to Billy anyway?“

“Yeah, no. He’s an abusive and racist piece of shit,” Steve scoffed, leaning against the counter once again. “Look, she doesn’t need a rebound. What she needs is a pick-me-up. What do girls normally do to get over a guy?”

“Get under another,” She shrugged.

“Besides that!” Steve’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“I don’t know! I’ve never had to do that before!” Robin shouted. “According to the movies, ice cream, alcohol, and hanging out with friends.”

“Alcohol, huh?” Steve looked off in thought for a moment. “Now that I can get behind.”

———

“I don’t know, Mom,” You spoke as you finished drying the last dish, putting it back in the cabinet. “It’s not that I miss him romantically, you know? I just miss having him around. God, I wish I never would’ve dated him.. This sucks.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around, sweetie,” Your mother smiled as she placed another trash bag in the bin. “If he goes out of his way to visit you at the mall, I’m sure a simple explanation would go a long way. An a damn good apology.”

“That explanation would be anything but simple,” You muttered under your breath.

“What was that?”

“I doubt an explanation and apology would ever make him want to be my friend again,” You offered as you took a seat on the couch, allowing your cat to settle on your lap. You mindlessly stroked its fur as you continued to speak. “He was in love with me. And I broke his heart. You can’t just bounce back from something like that.. Especially after six months.”

“Who knows?” She shrugged. “He’s a very sweet boy. A forgiving one. If he really loved you, I think he could find it in his heart to forgive you. There are times in life where we find soulmates in platonic relationships. It's easy to get them confused with romantic ones. You aren’t the first to apologize for breaking a friend’s heart. And you wouldn’t be the first to be forgiven for it.”

“What if he wasn’t just platonic?” You asked, turning your body to face her as you gave her your full attention. “How do you know?”

“You just do,” She smiled, likely remembering the love she shared with her late husband. “There will be this feeling in your stomach, like a swarm of molten hot butterflies fluttering around. He’ll make your chest squeeze just by doing small things like fixing his hair or trying to cheer you up. It’ll be an unavoidable chemistry that you can't fight against. And you’ll fit together perfectly. When you meet the guy that is willing to do anything for you – the one that you’re sure you can’t live without, that’s how you’ll know you found the one. That’s your twin flame-“

Her words were disrupted by the harsh sound of knocking paired with the chime of your doorbell. You both gave each other a look of confusion. You weren’t expecting anyone, and you haven’t had many visitors come by since Dustin left for summer camp and you got a job. You got up and made your way to the door, swinging it open to reveal no other than your two coworkers holding a pizza, a case of cheap beer, and a rented movie. They were in the middle of bickering before you cleared your throat.

“Henderson!“

“Y/N, we brought you pizza!” Robin grinned, holding up the box.

“And beer,” Steve smiled, holding up the case.

“I see that,” You chuckled, leaning against your doorframe. “Why?”

“To help you get over your broken heart,” Robin blinked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Duh. It was Steve’s idea.”

She pushed past you, waving at your mother and setting down the pizza on the coffee table.

“Your idea, huh?” You smiled softly, feeling those oh-so familiar molten butterflies your mother was talking about. “I thought you had a date tonight, Harrington.”

“I canceled,” He shrugged. “Priorities.”

“I’m a priority?”

“Woah, woah, woah. Hey, don’t get a fat head, Henderson,” He smirked, brushed past you as he walked into your house. He kept his eyes on you at all times, not noticing your mother on the couch. “My priorities, in order, are pizza, beer, and Blade Runner-“

“I’m not watching Blade Runner.”

“You have no taste. Lucky for you, we also got The Breakfast Club,” He held up the VHS in his hand. “So let’s eat and get tipsy while we watch a movie! It’s the best way to cure a broken heart. Tried and approved by millions!”

“I have to pick Dustin up in the morning.”

“I’ll take care of that, sweetie,” Your mother finally chimed in. Steve’s eyes widened as he quickly tried to hide the beers behind his back. She simply laughed. “Don’t get too drunk and don’t do anything stupid. I’ll let you drink this one time if you give me one of those beers.”

“Deal!” Steve smiled, handing your mom the unopened one in his hand. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson. We’ll be responsible.”

She smiled and nodded before mouthing ‘He’s cute!’ with wide eyes and a smile. You blushed when you heard Steve chuckle.

“Okay, Mom! Goodnight!” You said quickly.

“Goodnight, kiddos!”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Henderson!” Your friends called.

“Who says Steve Harrington can’t pull chicks?” Robin smirked. “He’s got your mom wrapped around his finger.”

“Okay! Ew!”

“I do, don’t I?” Steve chuckled. “Lookin’ for a new daddy, Henderson?”

“Lookin’ for another beating, Harrington?” You frowned, making them laugh. “What movies did you guys end up renting anyway?”

“You’ve heard of Jessie’s Girl, wait til you hear about Henderson’s Mom,” Robin chuckled, earning a high five from Steve as they took residence on your couch.

“I will shake every single can in this case if you make another comment about my mom,” You warned, making them laugh again. You flipped through the four movies they brought and plopped The Breakfast Club in your VHS player before taking the middle spot on the couch.

You all chatted and giggled and chugged several beers during the first thirty minutes of the movie. As interested as you all were in the movie, your tired bodies eventually gave out. Robin fell asleep in your lap and your very sleepy head fell upon Steve’s shoulder. He felt himself smile at the sight.

He used his free hand to move the hair out of your face and chuckled softly at the way you scrunched your nose. You struggled to find a good position until he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you settled comfortably into him.

He couldn’t help but fixate on the lightened scar on your brow that you acquired during the fight with Billy only six months prior. His thumb softly rubbed over the slit of hairless skin that split your eyebrow, feeling a pang of guilt for not being able to protect you that night.

“Mm’ tickles,” You frowned as you buried your face deeper into his shoulder. He chuckled.

“Okay, sorry,” He smiled before he rested his head on your own and allowed himself to drift off as the soft sounds of the movie continued to coax you all into a deep sleep.

———

You all awoke the the harsh sound of banging. You three jumped up, groaning as you stretched out your stiff limbs.

“Who the hell is knocking at..” Steve rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking at your clock. “Jesus, nine in the morning.”

“My brother’s friends,” You sighed, pushing Robin off of you before you walked over to the door, opening it to reveal five excited kids. “Oh, great. You’re all here. Keep it down while we drink our coffee, would you?”

They all frowned in confusion as Steve walked up behind you to see who was at the door.

“Jesus, you guys sure do knock loudly for having such small hands,” He grumbled before looking down at you. “Coffee’s been made. Want some?”

“Oh. Did we interrupt something, Y/N?” Max smirked. You narrowed your eyes at her.

“Just our weekly Kid-Haters-Anonymous meeting,” Robin shouted from the kitchen before she peaked her head around the corner. “You’re just in time for the sacrificial ritual. Any volunteers?”

“I vote Red,” Steve smiled, making her face drop.

“Come in,” You giggled, moving aside as the weary kids took their spots on the couch. “Don’t worry. We’ll be out of your hair soon. We have a shift at 11:00.”

“You are not joining our Welcome Back party?” Eleven voiced her concern.

“Nope,” Steve asked as he helped you quickly cleaned up the small mess you left in the living room. “You guys want some beer?”

They all stared at him blankly.

“That was a joke,” You chuckled along with Steve as you cleared out the last of the empty beer cans into the trash bag in his hands.

“Oh,” They breathed.

“Right, well, uh,” Steve turned to face you, feeling a bit awkward as the kids all stared at the both of you without shame. “I’m gonna head out so I can get ready. Are you taking Robin today or am I?”

“I got her,” You muttered as you took the trash out of his hands. “See you at 11:00?”

“Yup,” He nodded, shooting you a soft smile as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the front door.

You watched as he stopped at the mirror next to your door. His longer fingers skillfully brushed through his hair as he attempted to tame his mane, making your stomach do more flips than an Olympic gymnast. His lips were still a little swollen from his slumber, eyes droopy from the lack of sleep. That’s when you remembered the night before.

There will be this feeling in your stomach, like a swarm of molten hot butterflies fluttering around. He’ll make your chest squeeze just by doing small things like fixing his hair or trying to cheer you up.

You blinked at the realization as he continued to work through his locks. You’d fallen asleep in his arms the night before and it felt so.. natural. You were honestly a bit surprised that your neck or back didn’t hurt from the position, but it was almost as if you fit perfectly into one another like a puzzle.

It’ll be an unavoidable chemistry that you can't fight against. And you’ll fit together perfectly.

“No fucking way..” You muttered under your breath.

“Huh?” Steve turned around to face you.

“What?” Your eyes widened. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything.”

A small smile crept up on his lips as the expression you wore, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he debating asking about it before he finally decided to open the door and take his leave. “I’ll see you later, Henderson.”

“You are blushing,” Eleven stated as the door closed, making her friends giggle.

“And you guys are getting on my last nerve,” You huffed before marching to your room to get ready for your shift. As you tossed on your uniform, you convinced yourself it was simply the sleep deprivation talking earlier.

When you meet the guy that is willing to do anything for you – the one that you’re sure you can’t live without, that’s how you’ll know you found the one. That’s your twin flame.

That was ridiculous. Nothing more than the words of a hopeless romantic.

Steve Harrington was not the one. And most definitely was not your twin flame… He couldn’t be.

Right?

———

PLEASE CHECK IN EVERY MONDAY AND FRIDAY AT 9:00 PM CTD FOR NEW CHAPTERS! (unless otherwise stated)

As always, please feel free to DM me or leave a comment on my stories! I love to hear your feedback and interact with all of you!! Don’t forget to like and reblog, it really helps me out!

a/n: and we’re back with season THREE!! i honestly can’t believe we’re here! thank you all for following along! CANT WAIT TO SHOW YOU WHAT IVE GOT PLANNED FOR THIS SEASON!!

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inklessletter · 1 year

Text

I think I've seen this film before (and I didn't like the ending)

Read it on AO3

Both Robin and Steve know that Dustin shipped them. Hard. He was the first one to actually acknowledge how awesome Steve was, and how much of a badass Robin was, so obviously, he was the most insistent on getting them together. The fact that Robin and Steve spent all of their time together, had internal jokes, teased each other constantly, Steve drove her around, had dinner at Robin's a few times a week and, practically shared the same braincell, hadn't definitely helped for Dustin's annoying dynamic to spread to the party. Soon, everyone else was dropping hints about when they were going to publicly announce that they were a couple.

It's something Robin dealt with also at home. Steve didn't lie when he proudly said "parents love me, I'm a catch," because Robin's parents actually do love him. They also seemed eager for their daughter to tell them that they were dating.

Her parents are something she can deal with on her own, but after two apocalypses together, and frankly quite bored of the same joke over and over again, Robin started noticing something in Steve. And see, Robin has a lot of great qualities, but if there's something above all that, it's that she's wicked smart.

So, she started paying attention to their tease, trying to understand why this dynamic was now affecting his very much platonic soulmate out of the sudden, and she fully understood a new layer of Steve.

And fucking hated it.

Although they shared almost everything, she didn't go straight to Steve to talk about it; she knew him well enough to know beforehand not to press him into talking about something he wasn't ready to share yet, even with her.

So the next time they teased them (soon enough, because, c'mon, get new material, bozos) she dropped the smile and asked them, begged them to just stop. It wasn't funny anymore, if it ever was.

And their stupid kids were, well, kids, and also stupid, and didn't pick up. So they continued to tease them, and Robin's patience started to grow thin. But she kept repeating to herself: they're kids, they're just kids, they're dumb by default. So she kept asking them to please, please, drop it.

And see, she can deal with stupid kids, but she drew the line on inconsiderate shitheads (and after two years of saying no, Robin reconsidered their idiocy; they were being plain mean now). So, when Dustin pried about how boring it was that they kept their relationship a secret, in front of the whole gang, again, Robin snapped.

"Who is it, Dustin?" Robin asked, curious expression.

"Who is what?"

"Who are you crushing on, me or Steve?"

"What the hell, Robin? I don't have a crush on any of you!" Dustin said, almost offended. "What's wrong with you?"

"You see, Dusty-bun, after a year and a half of prying non-stop about how crazy is that we are not sucking face and absolutely not believing it, my guesses are that you consider that one of us is so painfully irresistible that we must be obviously lying when we tell you that we are not together. So, cut the jealous crap and please tell me whose name you whisper at night, huh? Is it me or Steve? I'm dying of curiosity here."

Dustin's cheeks went bright pink almost instantly. There was a brief silence in which Robin appreciated their faces with a smug smirk. Some of them were gapping, some holding a laughter. Nancy looked away with a tight smile. Eddie's face was priceless, he stopped whatever he was doing to attentively watch the upcoming scene. Only Steve looked really annoyed.

"What? Ew, gross. I don't whisper your name at night-"

"Steve's, then?"

"No! Robin, what's wrong with you!"

"Oh my god, look at you, you're blushing! You must definitely like him! Oh, is it both?"

"I don't like him , or you! I've got a girlfriend!"

"You're so red, Dustin. I just—I guess I just don't believe you."

Robin's smile grew wider when the rest of the party started picking on Dustin, too.

"I am just saying that you two are really close, there's obviously a vibe between you two, and it's fine! I don't know why you keep denying it. Even I can feel your electricity!" Dustin looked at Steve, who raised his eyebrows, clearly upset. "Is it because his ex is here? Nancy's over it—"

"Please, don't drag me into this."

"—and what you just implied is disgusting!"

And at this point of Dustin's rambling, her smile went off.

"Which part is disgusting, exactly?"

"That—That I think of you at night or whatever!" Dustin shouted, all dramatic.

"I mean, that's pretty disgusting," Lucas added.

"So, you don't have dirty thoughts, like, ever," Eddie muted, holding a mischievous smile.

"Why would I have dirty thoughts about them?"

"I don't know, why would we have dirty thoughts about each other?"

"Can we just stop saying 'dirty thoughts'?" Mike asked, grossed out.

"Because it's a cliché!" Dustin yelled, standing in front of her, suddenly, and completely ignoring Mike. "It's bound to happen! You're always in Steve's orbit, and you're getting pretty defensive about this, you must have a reason to—"

"To what? To not be jumping on his dick right now?"

At the mention of Steve's dick, the whole gang reacted. The youngest pulled disgusting faces, but clearly amused by the turn of this conversation. Eddie was no longer hiding how much fun this was, and he was giving his full attention. Nancy looked around, cheeks pink, not really knowing how to react. Steve, though, was mortified.

After the fuzz of complaints and comments stopped, Robin spoke again.

"I have a reason, though."

Steve looked at her.

"Robin-"

"And the reason is I don't like him that way, and he doesn't like me that way, and that should be enough. And begging you to stop just once should be also enough for you to be respectful about it, but you're not. It's beyond annoying now, it's hurtful, Dustin."

She spoke softer now, and stood from her spot.

Steve muttered "fuck this," and left the room. Eddie followed him. There was a charged silence after that.

"I know you maybe don't see it, but you are implying all the time that there's no other reason for us to be friends if it is not to get in each other's pants, like we have nothing else to offer. And maybe it is not my place to say, but Steve has spent the last few years trying to prove himself right all the time, and he cares about what you think because he loves you. So much. And he's not gonna tell you this, like, in a million years, and I'm breaking an unspoken vow of best friend here telling you, and I'll atone for it later, but if you keep going on with this crap he won't ever stop feeling worthless of being anyone's friend if there's nothing to get out of it."

"Robin, you know that's not what I mean." Dustin's voice was apologetic, sad.

"I know, but we asked you to stop, and you're not letting this go. This is not a riddle you have to figure out, this is just—"

Robin thought that maybe it was the moment for her to come out. If she told everyone now that she was a lesbian, they would drop it for good. She'd been thinking about it for a while now, but she didn't want to do it like this. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't.

Nancy was gazing at her with a knowing look, lips pursed. Robin didn't really tell Nancy about herself, but she seemed to understand. She was smart like that.

"Besides, I am—"

"Right. You're right," Nance stepped in. They shared a look, and Robin briefly smiled. "I think you owe them an apology."

Dustin looked bewildered. The kids were silent. Robin could read in their faces that they never thought about it this way. It took a few seconds for Dustin to recover, and Robin could swear she saw his eyes getting glassy.

"I'm sorry," Dustin said, low voice. "I'm going to—I'm going to talk to Steve."

Dustin left. Shortly after, the rest of the kids followed him, leaving Robin and Nancy alone.

"Steve is lucky to have you," Nancy said, with a soft smile, looking her straight in the eye. Robin felt her cheeks flush red. She looked down.

"I'm the lucky one, here," Robin said. "Thank you. For... for stopping me."

And then Robin's world crashed, because Nancy cupped her cheek, softly, and pressed a small kiss on the cheek.

"I've got your back."

With a smile and candid eyes, Nancy left the room, and Robin let herself fall where she was previously sitting, sighing dramatically.

She needed to talk to Steve.

Right now.

Holy shit.

#stranger things #fic #ficlet #stranger things fic #robin buckley #steve harrington #stobin #dustin #ronance #nancy

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chvnssecret · 2 years

Text

First time with Stray Kids

warnings - mentions of virgin sex - explicit scenes throughout - if you are under the age of 18, i suggest you click off now.

HYUNG LINE

Chan

He would be so gentle and ask you very often if you’re okay. Just like the traffic light system, he would make you use your words. If you didn’t, he wouldn’t proceed. His gentle hands would caress your skin first, letting you get used to his touch whilst you explored his lips. They would gradually edge towards your sex, making sure you’re wet enough before going forward and potentially hurting you. “Colour?” He pulls away from your lips briefly to talk, breath tickling your chin. “Green.” He smiles at the way you’re out of breath, slipping a single finger into you ever so gently and loving the way you tense up around him. “Oh, it feels good.” You moan out at the foreign feeling as Chan slips his tongue into your mouth. “Mm, can’t wait for you to feel all of me.”

Minho

He would be shocked at the fact you’ve never let anyone go near you in that way before. Not necessarily because he thought you were a get around, but merely for the thought that someone must have devoured your gorgeous body at least once before. In fact, he loves the innocence, loves the fact he will be your first for everything. His lips would kiss all down your jaw and your torso until he reaches your heat, looking up at you for approval. “I’m going to kiss it first, okay baby? Tell me if you want me to stop.” He wraps his arms under your legs and kisses your throbbing clit. It’s a weird feeling at first but it’s not long until your legs are shaking and tensing around his head.

Changbin

He makes you feel so..okay? Like he would never make you embarrassed for the fact you’ve never done it before. He loves the fact you’re untouched, and knowing you’re in safe hands. “My sweet girl, what am I going to do with you hmm?” His thumb pushes your hair away from your temple, leaning in to kiss you once more. “Changbin, I’m ready.” You gathered the confidence to finally tell him you wanted to go all the way. “Okay, but we use protection for the first few tries.” He assures you, reaching into his bedside drawer. You watch as he slips it on skilfully, before fingering you to stretch you out first. The tip hurt a little, but once he was thrusting, the pain got replaced with pleasure.

Hyunjin

Nervous was an understatement. He hated the thought of potentially hurting you or making you uncomfortable. Consent is so important to Hyunjin, he would never make you do anything you don’t want to. “Are you sure, honey?” With a cocked brow and a hand rested on your thigh, you nod. “Okay. It might feel a little funny at first, but tell me to stop if you want to, okay?” He lowers his body between your legs, his warm breath already making you quiver. After a while of sucking and kissing around your clit, he raises his head to speak, “Is it okay?” You nod frantically and push his head back down, making him giggle at your eagerness.

#chvnssecret #stray kids smut #stray kids #soft smut #kpop recs #kpop smut #no minors

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poisonpercy · 5 months

Text

Watching episode 2, here’s my thoughts

Stalker Annabeth and the “You drool when you sleep.” My girl!!

“PETER JOHNSON IS HERE!” Lol

“Yeah, Grover, I heard him the first time.” Mr. D is so funny. I feel like he’s severely underrated in book canon

“But did you?” Sassy Percy my beloved

“Excuse me your highness.” Lmao. I love how Mr. D cringed at that

Nooo not Mr. D messing with Percy and making him like that he’s Percy’s father 💀💀 Honestly, that scene is hard to watch. It’s too embarrassing for me lmao

The way that Chiron was just standing in the doorway is funny 🧍‍♂️

“Oh, no, Mr. D is not your father.” “I could be.” “Yes, but are you?” “Why must you ruin everything?” Lol Chiron and Mr. D are an underrated comedic duo

Mr. D telling Grover not to overthink it is cute. Glad to see that Mr. D’s care for the satyrs is present in the show

I like how Annabeth showed Percy around camp in the book. Chiron showing Percy around is fine, but it was better with Annabeth

Camp looks cool. It doesn’t look anything like how I personally imagined it, but I like how they made chb. The cabins look cool. A lot cooler than I ever imagined them lmao

Chiron’s horse ass 💀

The blue jellybeans 🥺

Luke my beloathed

IS THAR JUNIPER????! Or just some random wood nymph

Mr. D and Chiron as besties. You can pry that from my cold dead hands

“I assume that they would get really squishy or something. Like an old banana, maybe.” Yes, Grover, that’s exactly what would happen if a human was crushed to death. Grover’s not even wrong. His delivery of the line is just cute and hilarious

Mr. D is my favorite character so far. His casting is perfect imo. No notes

I like how they’ve done Percy’s nightmares so far. It’s kinda cool how the nigh are scenes are just there without any explanation so you as a viewer are like ??? but the moment you see Percy jerk awake you’re like “oh, nightmare!”

Luke explaining demigod qualities to Percy instead of Annabeth?? Please stop stealing roles from my girl

Hearing Luke speak makes me want to scream. I know what you are, Luke 😠

Clarisse!!! I love her. Her actress is so pretty

Badass demigod in a wheelchair doing archery. Ok, I absolutely love that!

Percy sucks at archery. Love my loser son

Percy in welding gear is so cute. He also sucks at it but at least he looks adorable

“Is there a Greek god of disappointment? Maybe someone should as him if he’s missing a kid.” Oh, Percy. He’s so relatable. Love this little dude

“They like the smell of begging.” Lmao

Percy burning the blue jellybeans to talk to his mom 🥺🥺 Percy saying he thinks he’s made friends. I just know Luke’s betrayal is going to hurt

“Ignoring me is one thing, but he doesn’t get to ignore you…I’m going to make him see us both.” Momma’s boy 🩷🩷

Clarisse’s delivery in the bathroom scene is so good. Love her

That being said, the bathroom scene is not great. Very underwhelming

Annabeth just stalking Percy is hilarious

Leah is such a good Annabeth. Absolutely love how she portrays her. That’s my daughter!!

“She’s my little sister.” Then why did you betray her, Luke. Why did you ask her if she loved you in the 5th book, Luke 😒

NO WHY ARE THEY PRONOUNCING THALIA LIKE THAT?!

The weapons and armor look so fake to me

Annabeth calling Percy sunshine is so cute wtf

ANNABETH FIXING PERCY’S STRAP ON HIS ARMOR!!!

Annabeth’s invisibility cap is so funny. I love it

The swords are so tiny??

Percy just by himself in the woods during capture the flag is so funny. He’s just a baby boy

I am once again saying that I love Clarisse. She’s perfect

Percy is doing so good during his fight in capture the flag. Also Clarisse’s scream when Percy breaks her spear is hilarious.

“Were you here the whole time?” “Yes.” STOP THIS IS WHY I LOVE ANNABETH

“I’m sorry.” *pushes Percy into the lake* Love that

Claiming scene is boring. The book does it better

Also no hellhound? What’s up with that? That’s kind of important

“Who stole it?” “You did.” “What?!” PERCY BABY I’M SORRY BUT THEY’RE FRAMING YOU. MY BOY IS INNOCENT (except for all the atrocities)

“I am Sally Jackson’s son!” “Who’s Sally Jackson?” “She’s the one that cared enough to call herself my mother!” <- I love momma’s boy Percy

I kind of wish Percy figured out Sally was still alive and wasn’t told. I like how they handled Percy accepting the quest in the book better. It felt more authentic to Percy’s character

Ok, I like this episode a lot better than the first one. They’ve changed some things around that I think they should have kept, but otherwise the show is looking good. There was not enough Annabeth in this episode. I don’t know why they are taking away all her roles and giving them to other characters, and I don’t like it. Give me Percy and Annabeth bonding before the quest or give me death. I still feel like the show is not doing a good job of showing me why I should care about the characters and the plot, but I have hope that that changes

#pjo adaptation #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #skys post

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quodekash · 8 months

Text

fifteen minutes left of the episode. how long will it take me to watch 15 minutes? let's find out

shake of friendshipppp

VERY different to the shake of PURE sexual tension we got from guynava in ep5

this one is FRIENDSHIP

and I LOVE FRIENDSHIP

(altho I do also love sexual tension)

you can't stop staring at him

well frick

either he's really clumsy, or that absolutely SHOULD be a foul and yellow team SUCKS

YES

FRIENDSHIP

PLATONIC HAPPINESS COMING RIGHT UP

THEY DID THE DUDEBRO HANDCLAP BACK PAT THING

I PERSONALLY LOVE THIS

the commentator is so valid and so is the guy recording him lmao

I am both of them

(but not in the context of sport, I never know what's going on in sport)

BSHDBFHJVSADVBG

AGAIN????

IM LOSING IT

THIS IS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME AS LAST EPISODE

how funny would it be if he misses

LMAO

sorry I care so little about sport that this is downright hilarious to me

he MISSED

ITS SO FUNNY

I love him and hes gonna be so disappointed in himself for ages and stuff. buT LIKE. HE MISSED. I MEAN CMON YOU GOTTA ADMIT ITS FUNNY

HERE COMES THE SCENE HERE COMES THE SCENE HERE COMES THE SCENE GHEKRBGJREBAAAAAAAA

(here comes the scene, doo-doo-do-do)

PFFFFT

GEU4KJRWLGNOREL

HES RIGHT YOU KNOW

oH MY-

I SAID THE SAME THING

AGES AGO I SAID THE SAME THING

AND IT REMINDS ME OF SOUNDWIN

AND THEY FULLY JUST PULLED THE SOUNDWIN LINE RIGHT THERE

CMON MAN IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND EVEN MORE THAN IVE ALREADY LOST IT

BUT YEAH

BASICALLY IM AWESOME

I love him

also I love how short auto is

it makes me feel represented

(even though im pretty sure he's still taller than me. bUT LIKE BY 2 CENTIMETRES I MEAN COME ON)

KICKING MY FEET SHOUTING SCREAMING

THISSCENETHISSCENETHISSCENEAAAAAGOIEGOPIJBE4RIOGJB4OEIB

here it is. prepare for me to explode bc when soundwin did this it killed me and I know its gonna do the same thing when they do it

EIOJGHVNOWIEPLSJDGVNIOERJLDSKGHVNOEIDS

THEIR SMILESSSSSS

GJIKERBGJREB IM SOBBING

HE FOOLED HIM A G A I N

KANG YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU

bitches be stimming so hard rn

(its me. im bitches)

THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

IM SO TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THEM

IM LOSING IT

AAAAAAAAYUTKFUGUYUIGYDTUYE56RDTYCGUHIBHYTRF87YGUIHTTFUYGTGYIFUYIGUYHVIUHJGIUGFTYUR4E56URFTYUKVG

idk bout you, but I happen to be an avid lover of all things cheesy and corny, so im having a SPECTACULAR time rn

PLS I LOVE HIM

several days later????

ITS STILL GOING??????

oml I ran out of images. again. but there's like one minute left so you're just gonna have to imagine the screenshots

[grandma in the car]

SHES BACK!!!

[kang's shoes]

oml kang's platforms I love them

[grandma saying 'and I also have a new caretaker']

ah frick it better not be who I think it is

[saifah's evil little grin]

YUP

AH FRICK

MR THIEF ROBBERY MAN IS HERE TO ROB SOME RICH PEOPLE AND GET ARRESTED AND MAYBE SHOOT KANG'S DAD

I mean fair enough. but also cmon man

[grandma saying 'he'll be taking care of me at this house from now on']

come on man

now saifah's gonna be annoying when sailom and kang want to be gay and in love

cos im guessing saifah and grandma aren't leaving the house much

I guess kangsailom will have to go to sailom's house or just not be in the mansion or smth

its so convenient having a mansion thooooo

come on saifah, youre ruining all the gay little plans I had made up in my head

YEEEE SO MUCH HAPPY FLUFFY COMFORT COMING OUR WAY NEXT WEEK IM SO EXCITED

as for today: comfort episode, unlocked

and for those who were curious, it took me 45 minutes to watch the last 15 minutes of this episode

its 2:30am. the episode came out 3 hours ago. what the hell is wrong with me.

#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance #<- theres a REASON that's the tag name #dangerous romance #dangerous romance series #dangerous romance the series #sailomkang #kangsailom #kanghansailom #sailomkanghan #perthchimon #chimonperth #perth tanapon #chimon wachirawit

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jelixpo · 1 year

Note

So... did you like the movie? 😏

i thought it was really good! But I also joked with my parents that i probably would have enjoyed it regardless of what was on screen lol

my non-spoiler opinion of the movie is this

Mario and Luigi have a super wholesome relationship

Jack Black killed it as Bowser

Chris Pratt also did a really good job as Mario! I was surprised

Anya Taylor-Joy was just okay as Peach. Sometimes I thought her voice was a bit too deep in delivery for Peach but like 95% of the time I enjoyed it

I thought Seth Rogan was good as Donkey Kong but then again i'm not big into Donkey Kong so I might not be a good judge

also the movie seemed a bit short? And that's not just me saying that cause I wanted more, it felt like some scenes weren't fleshed out enough or had weird cuts between them. And I think I know who to blame for that (Mr 'let's remove all the story elements from Mario Galaxy 2 so it's basically just a Mario Galaxy DLC')

But!! Really enjoyable and I super recommend!

Okay, now under the cut I'll share my spoiler opinions

I'm gonna break up these bullet points differently cause like. It's a lot

THE BRO HUG AT THE END OF THE MOVIE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!

I know we didn't get a lot of Luigi which is a bummer but omg when he was on screen he stole the show!!

I also really liked the scene where they showed Luigi being taken onto the blimp and him envisioning his life where he's always had to be saved by Mario, and now he's in a situation where he doesn't even know if Mario is alive or not. It was a very quiet and introspective moment that, while it was rather short, I thought was really inciteful into Luigi's character and his relationship with the idea of bravery and how he views himself in comparison to Mario. And then!! The pay-off at the end of the movie where Luigi gets to be the one who saves Mario!! That was very sweet and I love that they showed that just cause Luigi's scared, doesn't mean he doesn't have courage!!

I liked the backstory that they gave Peach! And also the movie directly confirming that Peach is human in canon since that has been a question for people for a long time. I loved to watch her bounce around and show off her moves. And i love that they confirmed she's the ideas person! If they ever make plans, Peach is the one to recognize what to do, how to do it, and when. She's a proper strategist. I wonder if her parents are still alive in the human realm? And since she's from Brooklyn (I'm assuming she is anyway and that the pipe in Brooklyn is the only pipe on Earth, but maybe not) I wonder if her parents would have seen her face in the paper? Stuff to think about

Mario and Luigi have more brothers??? Once the movie comes out on services I'll have to get a closer look at both them and their VA's in the credits. I'm interested to see the age gap between all of them, since it seems like Mario and Luigi are closest with each other and not anybody else, which leads me to believe they're the closest in age and therefore grew up together in a more literal sense than with their other brothers (I assume so cause my dad has like 8 siblings and he's closest with my uncle who's only one year younger than him. Sibling bonds strengthen when you go through those toddler years together)

Also the movie was just really fucking funny. The Bowser song?? (I'll swing back around to that) Donkey Kong was super funny. Bowser himself had a ton of great lines. The line that made me laugh the hardest was when Mario and Donkey Kong were in the belly of the beast and Donkey Kong laments that his dad thinks he's a failure, Mario repeats the sentiment about his own dad, and Donkey Kong goes "Oh yeah? well HE WAS RIGHT YOU SUCK" that shit had me rolling. Great set-up and bait-and-switch.

okay Bowser song? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. IT WAS TOO SHORT. I WOULD WATCH A 5MINUTE EXTENDED MUSIC VIDEO OF THE SONG GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!! (Also i watched Pretty Woman within 24 hours of watching the Mario movie and the two piano scenes had me... thinking about things (bowuigi))

I like that they didn't directly set up for a sequel. Like there are elements in the movie that could easily set up for it. Like Bowser being small and only needing to be hit once to be made big again. Peach's potential parents in Brooklyn, a more Luigi-centric adventure that fleshes out his small but present issue with courage and bravery, the clear set up for Captain Toad and the Toad Brigade, the fact that there were multiple different areas they could have gone into in the pink cloud 'work between worlds' place. I doubt it, but it would be very nice

also the ending kind of threw me for a loop? Honestly with Mario taking the giant bullet bill towards the warp pipe I thought the story was going to be that he sent the bullet bill through and it destroyed their warp pipe back home. And then that would directly set up for a sequel to try and get back home and explain why they would choose not to stay in Brooklyn

Also, i'm not entirely sold on why Luigi would want to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom? Like yeah Mario chose to stay, but he got to frolic in fields, do training missions, and get with a princess. Luigi got captured immediately, beaten up and thrown around, then almost died in lava at the end. Where does he see the positives in staying in the Mushroom Kingdom? I don't believe Mario would have been entirely sold on staying either given Luigi being in peril there the whole time. For them to stay, it would have had to be a unanimous decision between the two of them that I couldn't really see them making? But i guess it doesn't really matter. They needed Mario and Luigi to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for continuity, so i guess it's fine

Kamek was great. 10/10 best supportive dad. "Dress in drag to help my adopted son practice his date with the girl he has a crush on? Say no more. Get me a matching tiara."

okay i was surprised how much they directly talked about violence? Like i'm super used to children's media where they dance around the topic of death with different phrases. "She's gone. She was shattered. He was forgotten. He didn't make it." That sort of stuff. It especially threw me off when Bowser was screaming about killing Luigi and making Mario watch. Like, damn. Dude is sadistic. The line almost felt like something out of a fic? But honestly it worked to make Bowser seem like a villain that really shouldn't be messed with. I think Bowser is often seen as a bit of a goofy villain, especially in comparison to some of Nintendo's other villains like Ganondorf who are and were depicted as sinister from day one. But this movie? Bowser has guns. Bowser kills people. Bowser beats the ever-loving shit out of Mario the second he meets him. This Bowser is not a force to be reckoned with.

Also his line when he's beating up Mario "You ruined everything! I was FINALLY gonna be happy!" like yooooooo. That has Bowuigi potential fr fr. And it's also crazy that Bowuigi fans have been saying this for years? Like Bowser is a very lonely, touch-starved individual, even with having kids. Every Bowuigi fic i've read has this element in them. And this movie really confirmed that those theories are true and I love that

and i think that's it! Once it comes out on services i'll watch it again and probably have more points to give

#super mario bros movie #super mario movie #super mario movie spoilers #spoilers super mario movie #mario movie #spoilers

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