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liv-laugh-die · 3 years

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||Admiring|| 💖Miya Osamu x Gn!reader

trope: strangers meeting in the park (ik its random bear with me😭)

warnings: its not proofread all the way through (im sorry im tired), so theres probably grammatical errors or typos but other than that none

genre: fluff pretty much just sappy stuff

pairing/s: osamu x gn!reader

wc: about 2.5k

a/n: oh my god idk where i came up with this but i think its cute so :p i hope you enjoy!!

You stared at your blank computer screen, hope of finishing your assignment before its due date at midnight slowly vanishing.

The clock on your desk read 11:27pm, the green lines wavering in your vision as your eyes slowly drooped, trying to drag you into the depths of slumber. You wanted to sleep, you really did, but you knew there was no way you could give up writing your essay, even now, knowing you weren’t going to submit it on time, because you would stress too much about it if you didn’t at least try to complete it before the due date.

Pushing yourself away from your desk, your chair squeaking against the floor ever so slightly in your dead silent dorm room, you tried to think of some excuse that your professor might believe. You doubted there was anything you could think of, but hey, your professor was better than what your roommates’ had mentioned theirs being, and you were grateful for that. Maybe you could tell him that you were exhausted from working extra hours at your job since you had had to cover your coworker’s shift and that’s why you couldn’t complete your essay on time? Or, maybe you could get away with a simple “I was lacking interest in the material, and couldn’t understand anything, and I didn’t ask for help because I knew that you are such a busy man trying to do so many things at once. Another hopeless near college drop-out wasn’t something I thought you needed on your hands.”

....Maybe not the latter.

You sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair, practically feeling it screaming at you to wash it. You barely had time in the mornings to take showers anymore, and when you took them at night, you never had the strength to wash your hair, always knowing that putting a hat on overtop or throwing on your hoodie would make it seem fine on the outside, and that was good enough for you. As long as you looked at least decent and somewhat presentable.

Your dorm room was fairly small, like every other one, but the lack of furniture made it seem larger than the rest. Nothing more than you and your roommate’s joint desk, the mini fridge in the corner, and the beds filled the space. You almost tripped over your backpack lying next to the bunk bed pushed up against the wall, falling to what would’ve been inches away from your roommate’s sleeping body.

In an attempt not to disturb them, you tiptoed through the room, stepping over the occasional heap of clothes or homework, until you reached the bathroom. You fumbled over the door knob before almost tumbling into the small space. Glancing in the mirror, you didn’t fail to notice your messy hair, the dark circles tracing beneath your eyes, or the way you looked like you were seconds away from passing out. The sound of running water rang in your ears as you turned on the sink faucet, cupping your hands together and bringing your face down to meet them, rubbing the cold water all over you in an attempt to keep you awake for just a few moments longer.

Your eyes returned back to the mirror as you sighed at your dripping wet face. There was no way possible you were going to finish your assignment on time. You knew it, your roommate knew it before they passed out, and you had noticed your professor’s wary glance this morning in class as a sign that he knew it too.

An idea sprang into your head, part of you dreading the optimism that seemed to seep through your brain slowly. You didn’t feel like being energetic right now.

---an hour later---

You weren’t exactly sure how, when, or why you decided it would be a good idea to take a shower (you did end up washing your hair, thank god), get your things together in your bag, and head to the off-campus coffee shop (since the one on-campus had already closed), but you found yourself with a warm cup of coffee in hand as you exited the shop, the cold midnight air enveloping you in an unwelcome embrace.

You shivered. The only thing your spontaneous brain had forgotten had to have been your jacket, the one thing your normal brain would’ve remembered if it weren’t already past midnight and if you weren’t majorly sleep-deprived.

You most certainly weren’t done with your essay yet, nor was there any possible way for you to finish it on time since it was now approximately thirteen minutes past the due time, but you let yourself breathe for now.

There weren’t many people out at this hour, and it made the usual busy city streets seemed like a ghost town. There were a few restaurants still open as you strolled along the sidewalk, their lights responsible for illuminating more than half the area in front of you. You passed by an onigiri shop your friend had recommended to you, but you just weren’t that hungry. Most nights, you’d kill for a midnight snack, but your single shot of espresso coffee was satisfying your needs for now.

You decided to head to the park after seeing a rabbit hop its way across the vacant street and into the bushes in that direction. The fresh air was nice and cool against your dry and croaky lungs, and your ears needed a different sound than that of you miserably attempting to touch type quickly, your fingers rapping against the keyboard with vigor.

A stream nearby flowed softly, the dripping of the water against the rocks complimenting the noise of the crickets chirping in sync just downstream. Your footsteps cut through the grass slowly, not bothering to follow the stone path. The park was a nice change of scenery. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been here by yourself in peace, it was always you and your rambunctious friends who ran through every now and then just to see the dogs running through the sprinklers, or the occasional poor cat whose owner dragged them out into the daylight for exercise. This was peaceful, though, and you appreciated that.

A few more rabbits crossed your path, giving you that wide-eyed, side glance before darting off into the darkness, outside the reach of the lampposts emitting light. The sound of the stream soon faded out as you continued to walk through the park, sipping your coffee every so often. The warmth from your cup was soon dying out, and you figured you’d have to start walking back to your university sooner or later. Maybe you could crash at your friend’s house who lived just off campus, though you had forgotten your phone back at your dorm and had no alarm, no laptop to complete your work, and no contact with anyone else who might worry where you’d be. You had really no choice but to trek back to your dorm in the darkness, cutting your peaceful visit to the park short.

You let yourself have a few more minutes of stress free relaxing as you sat down on a bench just before the ground let out into a downhill slope overlooking the rest of the city below. The trees around you swayed in the breeze, and for a moment, you thought it was the wind talking, and not an actual human being who had somehow made his way beside you without gathering your attention.

“Didn’t think anyone else would be up at this hour,” the stranger mumbled. You glanced up, almost startled that, indeed, someone else was actually awake and strolling through the park.

The boy couldn’t have been much older than you were, maybe the same age. He had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, the wind tousled his dark hair ever so slightly, and the moonlight played along, illuminating his face just so you could actually see how gorgeous he was.

You cleared your throat, averting your eyes back to the ground as you shifted over, creating more space on the bench in case he wanted to sit down beside you. “I decided to actually take care of myself for once and give myself some time to breathe before facing the wrath of my professor tomorrow when he finds out I didn’t turn in my essay on time.” You let out a low, breathy chuckle, not exactly sure of what would happen next.

The guy sat down on the bench next to you, though he made sure to give you some personal space, which you were grateful for. He laughed along with you a bit, and you could tell just from his tone just how tired he really was.

You gave him a side glance, raising an eyebrow. “So, what the stressful thing that brought you here in the middle of the night?”

He smiled half-heartedly, eyes trained on the moon. “Work stuff. Jus’ been busy, I guess.” He shrugged.

You waited for him to continue on, but he stayed silent. You didn’t complain, though. Wasn’t your whole reason for coming out here in the dead of the night for some quiet? Plus, it wasn’t awkward either. You were comfortable sitting next to this stranger.

“What do you do for work?” You waited a little longer than necessary to ask, but he didn’t seem to mind the long pause.

“I own a restaurant a few blocks away. I love the job, it’s just tiring havin’ to deal with rude customers like my brother who won’t get the hint and get out sometimes. I got into an argument with him earlier today and he just wouldn’t shut it.” He rolled his eyes and took his hands out of his pockets, making eye contact with you as he went on about his day, and you couldn’t help but smile at his passion. “The guy thinks he can just walk in when I’m working with a new employee and just act like he runs the place! Quite stupid if you ask me. Such a jerk, he is. Thinkin’ about just banning him from the place, really.”

You snorted. “He really bugs you that much, huh?”

The guy smirked at your laugh, admiring it, though you would never had guess that was what flashed across his face in a million years. He nodded. “Yeah, ‘course I love ‘im ‘cause he’s my twin and my best friend, but he really knows how to annoy the hell outta me.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll just get a sign in the window that says “no shirt, no shoes, no service” and cross it out and write my brother’s name instead,” he reasoned, and the pondering look in his eyes made you wonder if he was actually considering the idea.

You smiled. “You’re funny.”

“You say that like ya weren’t expectin’ it.”

A laugh made its way out your lips. “Well, when you’re approached by a stranger in the middle of the night you sort of expect the worst.”

The guy glanced off in the distance, away from you, furrowing his eyebrows. “Sorry, didn’t think of that comin’ off that way.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m funny then, and not some creep, eh?”

You nodded, the smile on your face not fading as he changed topics.

“So, what’s your essay on? Any way I can help ya finish it?”

You shook your head dismissively. “Oh, no. It was due thirty minutes ago.” You quickly explained the topic you were writing about in class before getting side tracked. “My professor had said he would allow it to be turned in the next morning, but I doubt he actually meant it.”

He smiled a wide grin, making butterflies flutter in your stomach. “You go to the university nearby, right?”

You nodded in confirmation, raising an eyebrow. “If I’ve got any luck, there’s a chance you go there too?”

He laughed a little, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t, sorry. I’ve visited campus a few times because some of my friends go there, but I just usually focus on work.”

His gaze was tilted upwards towards the sky, and you couldn’t help but admire how the exhaustion still shone in his eyes, but somehow that same passion gleamed there too just mentioning what he did for a living. You wished you were that passionate about something that would actually support you financially in the future and make you happy.

When he glanced back at you, you were still taking his essence in, and he made a look of confusion. “What?”

You shook your head, chuckling. “Nothing. I just admire that you can dedicate yourself to something and make it seem so easy.” He looked at you, interested to hear what you had to say, even though you were sure you couldn’t be the first person to tell him this. “I haven’t even known you for more than ten minutes and I can already tell you’re passionate about what you do and if you’re stressed about it, it must mean you’re dedicated to seeing your work through, and that’s more than enough to admire and appreciate, especially when that can be so difficult sometimes.” You finished your short tangent, looking back up at him to see him staring intently at you, seemingly in awe of what you’d just said. You felt a blush creep onto your face as you quickly blurted out, “Sorry- I didn’t mean to be so straightforward and weird like that- I sound like some crazy secret admirer or something...”

The crickets chirped in the silence between the two of you, and it felt like it would never end.

“Y’know, I wouldn’t mind havin’ a secret admirer. I mean, wouldn’t be so secret, but...” You saw the smile creep up onto his face. “It’s nice being appreciated. Nobody really tells me that kind o’ stuff, so... thanks, I guess.”

The heat on your cheeks didn’t go away by any means, but you grew more comfortable with it as you mumbled, “Maybe I wouldn’t mind admiring you.”

Now, it was the boy’s turn to blush, and you smiled at how his cheeks grew redder with every passing second, and how his subtle grin spoke a thousand words he didn’t need to say.

“Miya Osamu.” The boy’s hand came into your view as he extended it for you to shake. “I own Onigiri Miya across from the grocery outlet.”

You smirked, grasping his hand in yours as you said, “L/N Y/N. I own an official license for being a horrible driver and an ID that proves I’m a sleep-deprived college student and that’s about it.”

He laughed, shaking your hand and standing up, letting go too soon for your liking.

Because for some weird reason, his hand felt right in yours.

Osamu said a quick goodbye, mentioning something about how he should get going and how you should get some sleep before he disappeared down the stone path back into the darkness.

You stood up not too long after he’d left, your coffee now entirely cold as you plopped the half full cup into the trash can on your walk back to your dorm, not needing the pathetic warmth anymore. Your heart was beating fast and the feeling of Osamu’s hand resting in yours lingered on your palm, and that kept you warm enough.

Maybe you’d be visiting that onigiri place your friend recommended to you a little sooner than you’d originally planned, and maybe more often than you would’ve expected.

#osamu miya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq #miya osamu #osamu #osamu x reader #oml i actually like this #ahhhh its cute #since when have i been motivated #i hope this doesnt flop *sob*

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profoundpidgeon · 3 years

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✨Haikyu Headcanon(s) of the Evening! ✨

Author's Note: These are just lil' roomate headcanons I came up with cause I just wanted some so I decided to make some! Anyways this is a part 1 out of 2 (I think and hopefully) and as always I hope y'all enjoy! 😊 ~Pidge

Miya Atsumu:

• God this chaotic bastard where do I even start

• Well let's just say you were looking for a roomate and stuff and welp he took the opportunity and idk why but you accepted him (I guess he checked all the boxes for you congrats🎉🎉🎉)

• Now actually LIVING with him can either be a pain in the ass or quite enjoyable

• He gets up at a decent time, early for volleyball (maybe 7-8am) but SLEEPS IN when he doesn't have to go. (I believe like 2-3pm at times) one time you thought he was dead and almost called the hospital, he almost smacked you for that 🤣

• I see him as not being the apartment that often cause of volleyball but he'll be in the apartment just to chill or just to annoy ur ass if he's bored.

• HE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DESINGNATED MOVIE NIGHTS!!! he also might invite ya know bo, hinata and sakusa but there's sometimes where he just wants to chill with u~

• I believe he's not really a good cook and you would have to make most of the meals or at least remind him to have a decent meal once in a while (if your not a good cook welp... y'all will suffer together I guess)

• He'd be snacking CONSTANTLY I👏SWEAR👏 (This is why ya gotta remind him to have decent meals all the time). I mean there will be nothing in your pantry. It's a literal compition that he wins most of the time to who gets the last packet of pocky. Smh 😑

• I feel like his room would be half messy and half not? Like there would be clothes on the floor but he would make sure to make his bed and his dresser would be a bit messy but not too messy. (Ya know? I hope you get it cause I'm not changing it)

• Please give this man the head pats before volleyball practices (he'll find it cute and if you look close enough you might see him ~blushing~)

Bokuto Koutorou:

• YES ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE HIMBO!!! god I LOVE him

• Such a caring man AND WITH SO MUCH RESPECT WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE HIMMM

• anyways

• I hope y'all were friends before you decided to move in together PLEASE SAY YOU WERE (well too bad, I'm the writer, you got no choice in the matter)

• He takes afternoon naps... end of headcanons (no but really when u come back from school or work and he's home before you, you can sometimes hear a soft snore from the couch and you just decide to put a blanket on top of himmm)

• On the contrary of Atsumu, I think he'll be a great cook! I think he'll know how to make 3-4 meals very VERY well and present them to you and be so proud of them. He'll puff out his chest and everything (gosh he's making me so proud just writing this)

• He might once in a while ask you politely if his friends can come over and might borrow the apartment for a while (you'll be out till they leave but hopefully you don't mind)

• If he comes home and he's in his emo mode, you either 1. Call Akaashi or 2. Make him soup and build a blanket fort (it will either be chicken noodle or just some comforting soup... anything to get this baby happy again 😊😊😊)

• This may or might catch you off guard (depending on how close y'all get) but he may ask for random hugs. Just for the sake of it and because I believe he's touch starved and craves physical affection.

• Even tho I said before that he might politely kick you out if he wants to have the home/apartment for the bois, at least PLEASE have some games of chaotic Jenga with them like COME ON (I play chaotic Jenga with my friends all the time and hoooo boi)

• Like Atsumu, he deserves the head pats too! I believe there will be a lot of physical touch/affection in your relationship and it's just so sweet! GAH Y'ALL ARE ADORABLE!

• Anyway, Bokuto Koturou would make a great roomate... MOVING ON

EDIT: Damn I forgot to add that he'll probably join in if you decide to paint your nails. Alright now let's continue!

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

• ngl idk how you became roomates with him but congrats 👌👌👌(I guess by pure chance I guess??? ) anyways...

• Y'all would have assigned cleaning chores of course. If you're having a bad day or not feeling good, he wouldn't mind doing your chores for you and taking care of you.

• Ya know I feel like just doing a puzzle with him so y'all might have some puzzle nights and try to challenge yourselfs after each one you complete.

• LOVES TEA. Will recommend tea and different types of tea to you. Will bring different types of authentic teas into ur apartment and y'all can rate teas together! 🍵🍵🍵

• Not that affectionate but will accept words of affirmation. Really does appreciate a 'thank you' and a genuine compliment once in a while.

• Will remind you to wear a mask outside ALWAYS, he doesn't want you to get sick what can I say?

• Even if it might not look like it, Sakusa does care about you. He will give you those gentle reminders to drink water and eat everyday, say lil' thank yous' here and there and genuinely respects as a person.

ANOTHER EDIT CAUSE I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF APPARENTLY: But ALL of them would in some way sing in the shower:

Atsumu and Bokuto just BELTING without any care or regret (especially bokuto, some of you've seen tiktoks)

And I feel like for Sakusa he would either silently hum or either have a mini conversation with himself (like a lil' podcast or somethin' 😂) ALRIGHT IM DONE IM DONE

Another author's note: This already seems romantic but I meant it in a platonic way. When I make both parts keep in mind the the relationship is platonic! (Don't worry I might make a part where they go from roomates to lovers if I can gather the brain power 😂)

ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! :

https://profoundpidgeon.tumblr.com/post/642970351801958400/haikyuu-headcannons-of-the-evening

HEY LOOK! I MADE A PART 2! I hope y'all enjoy! 💖💕💖

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minkdenmilo · 3 years

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💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

#autism #possibly autistic #asd #autism advice?#plz help i am very worried im overreacting and i dont want to talk to my parents unless im like 100% i have it

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neonwizardheehee · 3 years

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personal rant & brain dump bc I’m listening to bigbang and feel emo:

so i have a few topics that are circling my mind thus this will get messy (as usual hahaha)

- music as I said I’m listening to bb and the way I wanna cry??? mainly bc i miss my sis talking about them and being all happy and proud.. and just her in general v.v I feel like i overdid her with kpop and that doesn’t feel good. i was supposed to be the baby but i got too invested and now i am so damn invested i scare her :((( it makes me so sad :( but idk how to stop.(current mood & playing: let’s not fall in love)

- romance the new girls i met here are so different from the friends i have bc they are extroverts. i never had extroverts as friends before so i feel blessed now. we only met recently but they already were so open to me about things no one ever told me. like 3/4 girls i met talked to me about their first time and BOI i was so glad that we casually talked about it bc my other friends wouldn’t do that in a million years bc they are too shy. it really felt good. also no one judged me which was very reassuring. albeit me feeling a bit dumb bc i couldn’t really add to the convo but apparently I get better at listening ig? also that made me think that sex and dating shouldn’t be such an “important” topic as it is with my friends before. one friend sees it as an achievement to have a s/o but doesn’t talk about it or either brags (kskssk giiirl that’s so funny yet annoying XD yes u can be proud of your boi and brag bc i’m here for that bc i’m just so happy for you but ... not at random moments XDD). this made me realize how ppl refer to their s/o when talking to others. bc my friends who are very chill with their relationship always say their name while said friend (and ofc some others where having a relationship is important) always say “my bf/gf” or “ex” when that specific info is not relevant to the story they are telling XD

anyways it also made me realize how BAD i am with talking about my own feelings and wishes. since talking about my worries feels like complaining and i am good at that - but it feels random and uninteresting for anyone to hear i think to myself (it prob isnt). i feel so smol when asked about that topic and all i wanna answer is “???”. even if there is no pressure. idk why I’m like this and it makes me feel sorry for the people around me :( I’m so confused and idk what the question is. i can do better with writing but idk why but i wanna find out one day hahah. maybe i should just ask my new friends for advice since they are not judging me and i trust them and want to learn to be better with that. altho there’s this thought that I’m uncapable of love which frightens me a lot. I know i’m okay without it and i don’t mind but i feel so sorry for the people who like me? it also might be natural and I’m just stressing myself over nothing so idk what to ask and do -since you can’t force love right? i mean i don’t really believe in love at first sight i guess but rather spending time with that person and liking them a lot. so id why I’m pressuring myself so much with this :( maybe i am just too scared? or maybe i am anticipating too much? it all could be possible bc for everyone love is different and every relationship is different. so it’s mostly me feeling sorry for not giving back as much as i should and could :( - that’s also the reason why I’m so pro polyamorus relationships bc I know I’m not enough and idk how and if i want to fix that bc idk the rules bc there are none hahhaha - but also that makes me feel good bc i know i’m not responsible for someone’s happiness. i am too egoistical and these thoughts work as a self-protecting mechanism I KNOW that’s why i do this. so i’m not stressing myself even more. i just feel so unfairly precious when someone genuinely praises me when we’re just two ppl and no one else :( might be bc i don’t understand that feeling yet. i def want to know that but also i’m scared that it’d take me down a road where i loose myself (for some foolish reason idk why). so in the end ig I keep trying and get used to that (i already made loads of progress this year so ig i shouldn’t feel like I’m being too slow)

- studying okay so next topic is also just me feeling like i do too few. this week went quite okay and i managed to study on out study server everyday (ofc i had my bad days but i still at least smth). well yesterday i hastily did some vocab and then teh whole day i spend with friends & kpop... like LITERALLY until the night. a friend of mine was proud of me for taking a break (me too yesterday) but today i don’t feel good about that :( i missed so much. i’m scared it’ll kick me out of my study routine (since it was so hard to get my ass down to study itself!). i really want to be the person who’s studying every day and feel good about that. so since i have another thing planned today i don’t think i’ll get much done today as well :(((( i just wanna be a wise guy who knows a lot T.T i already made progress i know but... i want more.. i really wanna do well here and not be stuck behind like i was for the past 6 years :( i wanna have ambition again and not just pass... i kind of hope i can manage to study at nights on days like this but also i need my sleep so i stil have to find a solution for that. bc even tho i regret not studying as much i don’t regret hanging out with people. that’s smth i missed out in my first semester and so important in times like this were I’m stuck on my own.

- religion so i have one christian friend here and yesterday we talked about church services and stuff like that and it was cool learning how it’s with her bc she goes to a very modern church (instead of me going to a traditional one 4 times a year). Suddenly i got sad tho and felt like crying :( even tho she was just stating her opinion i felt attacked and wanted to cry. after some thinking i think it’s just the way we are used to talking about religion bc we both grew up in an area where religion is looked down onto. for me .. i turned to myself and made up my own thoughts and beliefs bc i am too scared to talk and ask someone about it bc of all the accusations around me. religion was not smth to be discussed and only smth for yourself and maybe your family for me. the girl had to fight her way through all the “churches are old and fucked up and scary” things and since she goes to a modern one has good reasoning against them - that’s perfectly understandable and I’m so proud of her for speaking up like that. but like... it hit me on thw wrong side bc i am used to these old traditions and kind of like them even :( so it felt like she was insulting me. even tho she wasn’t. i just dont know how to talk about religion and how to practice reading the bible or praying and hearing her talk about how she does all these things.. makes me feel invalid :( it’s like the only thing that i have is that i was raised a christian. but y’know for me it was okay since i learned in school not to practice or show my religion.. so idk how to do it... and i feel baby and sad if i have to ask her for some reason. i tried to look up this on the internet but ofc everyone is even more crazily involved there and it scares me SO much. so i unfollowed everyone hahah. i also have this one podcast but i still feel bad bc i’m not able to really read the bible on my own ig :( these days I’m just blaming it on the translation that i have but deep down i know it’s me who’s not able to ask questions at the text. maybe i should try to talk to someone... my sis who’s also in the same situation as me... or said girl to take me along and feel like a complete newbie and a little bit like an outcast bc religion for me is so different than to her.

- christmas i really enjoy the christmas spirit but i also already wanna cry if i think about gifts. i hate that i have so many people i love and will prob get smth from them so i have to make smth in return. i am overwhelmed and scared already. i didn’t even make a list yet T.T feels like i should block time to figure out gifts in my schedule bc I’m just putting it off more and more :( and also i already feel sorry for everyone bc they will get shitty gifts bc I’m so bad at this :(

#now i feel drained and want to cry in your arms just bc #what am i so gloomy for today?#anyways sry if you read this #i truly am sorry #NOT @ SPOTIFY FOR PLAYING BABY DON'T CRY #not okay i just

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blackaquokat · 5 years

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13.) “I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me." With DAtective ? c:

A/N: So, this is actually something I wanted to write for this pairing for a while now? Idk if it fits into the pre-WKM part of my Law & Disorder ‘verse, but it could. I really want it too. The following situation was inspired by a certain episode of Mentalist, if anyone is curious. This one has a much happier ending, in my opinion.

Anyway, if anyone is triggered by home invasions, proceed with caution.

Oo00oO

One of the great things about solving high-profile cases wasthat it meant Abe got to spend more time with his favorite attorney.

And this particular case was a doozy. He’s honestlysurprised that the current DA gave this case to his friend, considering howgreen they still are as an Assistant Attorney.

Then again, they’ve already proven themselves over and overto be one of the best lawyers on the team. They’re on a hot streak that putssome of the senior lawyers to shame. And those idiots are not quiet about their anger about this turn of events.

In an effort to keep everything straight (and to keep thathot streak going, even if he cares about it more than they do because their coworkers are jackasses), Abe finds himself at the attorney’s home overnight more often than his own place lately.

Tonight is looking to be one of those nights, as the pair ofthem go over the details and scan through the paperwork for anything they mighthave missed before going to court.

Well, that’s how it started. He gives up far earlierthan normal and falls asleep immediately in the guest room. The attorney was very forgiving of his exhaustion and sent him away with their blessing.

(He sees the deep circles under their eyes, but doesn’t urgethem to go to bed, despite how haggard they look.)

He awakens later in the night at the sound of a loud crash.

He leaps out of bed and goes for the gun still in thediscarded holster.

Abe has exactly three seconds to think he overreacted whenhe hears a cry of pain and another thud.

He steps carefully out of the room and down the hall untilhe sees the living room. The air evaporates from his lungs.

Papers scattered everywhere, the coffee table overturned,picture frames shattered on the floor. Plates, silverware, and chunks of foodfrom their late night dinner are strewn across the carpet. There’s a red stainon the back of the couch.

In the corner of the room, Abe’s attorney is on the floor,blood trailing down their temple and staining a sleeve on their pajamas.

They’re staring into the barrel of the gun held bya masked intruder.

He very nearly pulls the trigger then and there.

“Hey, bucko!” he yells instead, and the intruder’s headswivels in his direction in obvious surprise. “Put the gun down and no one elsegets hurt.”

A long shot, he’s sure, but a guy can hope.

“You’re a cop?!” Theintruder exclaims suddenly, and Abe realizes his badge is on the messy floor,plain to see. “There wasn’t supposed to be a cop here!”

Abe sees the attorney slowly reach for something out of thecorner of his eye and keeps talking so the guy stays occupied. “Well, why don’twe talk about that down at the station? Maybe you’ll explain why you’re aboutto shoot the Assistant District Attorney.”

Before he can get an answer, the attorney whips their handand stabs a kitchen knife into the intruder’s hand. While the guy screams, theywrestle the gun away and clock him on the back of the head with the butt of theweapon.

He goes down like a loose stack of pebbles.

Abe doesn’t get to relish the victory because then he seesthe way the attorney stumbles until they grab the back of the couch, only to yanktheir hand away with a wince.

Abe realizes he’s still standing there like an idiot so heruns back to his room, grabs his handcuffs and attaches the guy to the leg ofthe piano in the corner of the room. He grabs their phone and calls theauthorities.

He hangs up a few minutes later and turns to the attorney. “Are you okay?”

They’re leaning against the wall, taking in deep breaths andkeeping their eyes shut. “I…I think I’m going to be sick.” They slide to thecluttered floor, breaths turning shallow and unsteady. They cry out when theyland and cradle their hand to their chest. “Shit, I think I sprained my wrist…”

That must have been the straw that broke the camel’s backbecause he sees the tears well up in their eyes, and they won’t look at thepart of the room where the unconscious perp is handcuffed.

Abe goes to kneel next to them. His hand clamps onto theirshoulder, but then he decides, to hellwith it, and pulls them into his arms.

They shift closer, one hand grabbing at the edge of hisshirt. “Damn it…” they hiss through tears. “Damn it…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Abe says. “You’re going to be okay. I’mhere. I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

They swear again and bury their face into his chest. He letsthem cry, keeps talking, and rubs his hand up and down their arm. He sees a trail of blood drip down their cheek and brushes it away with his thumb.

Eventually, he feels them stop trembling as the sirens ofpolice cars and an ambulance grow closer.

“They’re going to wonder why you’re here,” they say in anempty voice.

Because of coursethey can’t go through a trauma without worrying about their reputation on topof everything else.

“I’ll tell them you called me after subduing the bastard.”

“Why wouldn’t I just call the police myself then?”

“I was closer, okay? Stop being a lawyer right now, you’rein shock.”

The gentle rumble of their laugh goes a long way to make himfeel better about the fact that he nearly lost someone who is quickly becomingthe most important person in his life.

When the intruder is questioned later by another detective,it is revealed that the guy was hired to kill the attorney and make it look likea robbery gone wrong.

Turns out another lawyer who works with Abe’s friend had putout the hit in an effort to get assigned the case they’d been working on. Despitethe mixed feelings about Abe’s Dead Partner Curse, his fellow detectives caughtthe bastard and put him away with the greatest of satisfaction.

After this revelation, Abe came up with more reasons tospend the night at his attorney’s house, especially during court cases. These reasons range from making sure they don’t bust their head open again and helping them while their bandaged wrist recovers.

They clearly know what he’s doing, but they don’t argue.

Noteven when he stops making excuses to stay.

Oo00oO

Angst/FluffPrompt List: Send me a number and a pairing!

@starcrossedforever87 , @dontworryaboutanything , @beereblogsstuff , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @axolittle-boi , @falseroar , @intemperantiae , @ren-mon , @memetoyoko , @soul-wolf , @marki-dumb , @withjust-a-bite , @raimeyl , @skidspace , @peaceiplier , @wkm-detective-abe-squad , @veryobsessivefan , @lizard-in-a-skinsuit , @babymadz , @rainbowkittens97 , @statictay

#wkm #who killed markiplier #datective #abe the detective #y/n district attorney #kat writes

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sunshinechii-scenarios · 6 years

Text

Read in between the lines

✿ Seventeen’s Seungcheol x Female!Reader ✿ College AU ✿ Vampire!Seungcheol ✿ Kinda angsty? Mainly sad? ✿ 1.6k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist!

HEy y’allllll I’m back! I kinda got sad and wanted to express it somehow? College sucks so far :( but I was able to format my sadness into a fic so thats good right?? It kinda doesn’t make sense tho LOL I hope you guys like it tho!

I was able to format the following divider for only this blog’s use so please don’t take it or use in your own posts, thank you. - Chii

You found yourself in the small shared room of your dorms. Your roommate was gone and nowhere to be seen or heard from. Probably at a party with her friends or someplace else you never really bothered to ask whenever she left. You became friends with the closed in box feeling as you anticipated another long coffee filled night. For some reason, something about the sunset brings down the mood. As the sky transitions from a bright orange to a dark black, you spend most of it working on school work. The color of the sky makes you think about things that aren't so pleasant and sometimes you find yourself so overwhelmed with your own emotions. Dark spots littered whatever hoodie or sweater you had on. You wiped away tears aggressively. The sun had to peek-a-boo one last time as it fell behind the curtain. It had just become night and here you are, crying your eyes out about things.

As a college student there were a lot of things to worry about. This time, in particular, was long-distanced good friends and just being homesick. You were afraid of being alone. You'd give anything to travel back home to spend the day with your good friends again but here you are. Tears falling freely as you give up on irritating your cheeks and let them fall onto your messy statistic notes. It took you awhile to collect yourself and decided to check your email in hopes of forgetting the feeling. You scrolled through them, looking for any important ones like package shipment, things from professors and sales in clothing stores. In the millions of emails you never bothered to clean out, unfortunately you got an email from your literature professor.

He was a new teacher at the school. This year was his first year and he actually had graduated from the school. Professor Choi, Seungcheol he asks us to call him, had just gotten his master's degree in literature and was able to teach at the college. He was tall and looked intimidating. He did give off an aura of something mysterious that reminded you of the creatures in the Eastern European folktales you had to read. Although it was easy to talk to him as teacher, he was always friendly with the students, and always looked out for the well-being of his students. Sadly, this meant he would often send out the emails to students when their grades would slip. Out of concern, he would call students to his office to talk about the problem and tried his best to understand because he was once in that position as well. He wanted to be the best professor he could. You begrudgingly read the email further and gather the basic information in the text.

Good evening, I'm worried about your grades on the recent exam. You had almost failed and I would like you to meet me in my office at 5:45 p.m. I'll see you then.

The next thing you did was look at the clock, the small digital clock at the bottom right corner of your laptop. It read 5:30 p.m. you had 15 minutes to get your act together and make it look like you didn't just cry your heart out. The last thing you wanted was to look like an emotional wreck while leaving the dorms.

You quickly went to your ensuite bathroom and wash your face with cold water, changed out of the grey hoodie you had on and into one of the t-shirts the college had given you during an event a year or two ago. You grabbed your phone and your wallet before starting to walk towards the teacher offices in the middle of campus. Thankfully, you didn't live that far from the offices but it the air was particularly cold. It was the beginning of Autumn and the end of Summer, the sun would set quicker and you would find yourself getting upset and sad earlier as the day went on. You put away your bad emotions, not wanting to let this affect your meeting with the professor. You scan into the building and greeted the security guard. You went up the stairs and looked for room 3 1B. A short walk down the hall and to your right was the room. You knocked on the door and waited outside patiently.

Seungcheol opened the door and his face lit up at the sight of you. He told you to come in a take a seat on the chair that was placed across his table. The sun set, leaving little natural light to enter his office. He turned on the small lamp after he had closed his door and sat down,

“So, your grades,” he slid your test paper in front of you with a red 57 in a circle at the top corner, “what’s going on? You’re a bright student and I hate to see you fail like this,” he said as he crossed his arms and leaned back on his chair. He sensed the change in mood.

“Just personal issues,” you weakly said as you looked away from him. You found those negative emotions coming back and wanted to run out of this office to cry in peace back in your room.

“Hey, look at me,” you turn your head back to him. Seungcheol stares deep into your eyes with his ruby colored ones. Red? You feel yourself swaying, “you’ll be okay.”

Seungcheol knew his power wasn't strong. It had been a while since he last fed on human blood.

He got up from his seat and walked to your side. The swivel chair turned and now he was facing you. Gemstone like eyes glowed as the sound of his teeth pushed through his gums to reveal themselves.

Although your eyes blurred your vision and your body was still, there was a slight trembling of your lips. You weren't in a deep enough trance. He knew the trance wouldn't last long or be deep. You would still have some memory of what happened but a little help from the Chemistry professor could help. Lee Chan is very well known for his ability in forgetfulness concoctions.

It had been far too long since a prey had shaken as he stood in front of him. Often times he would either be stabbing a straw into a pack or be eating human food.

Seeing you shaking made him feel powerful. Had been ages since people feared vampires. He found himself with a slight smile on his face as he bent down. Cold hands found themselves behind your neck and cold lips touched your ear.

"What are you afraid of?" His voice wasn't comforting anymore. Knowing well that you had the power to speak at a whisper, he asked again. He wanted to feed his pride. He let go of you and stared at your face, waiting for an answer.

His eyes widened at your answer. It was unexpected. He thought you would say that you fear him and he would hear your soft voice straining to scream and beg but you didn't. You didn't know what was going on but you were scared. You felt like you had no control but had all of it at the same time. If you were going to die, you might as well expose your emotions to someone at least once. All the feelings you held in. You felt like you couldn’t talk to anyone about them, not a single soul. When you wanted to talk to someone, you blame yourself for your bad timing. ‘I’m busy right now,’ or ‘sorry, I can’t talk right now.’ You just kept it in. When someone noticed you were upset, you brushed them off. Knowing they might not understand and only a few did but those few weren’t in your reach anymore.

“I fear of being alone and left behind.” Your voice was indeed soft, full of fear but not fear of him. Seungcheol steps back.

He starts to piece things together. He hadn't seen you with other students at all. Found it hard for you to group up with classmates and often worked by yourself. When you were in a group, you had on the biggest smile but how much of that was real? He stared at your emotionless face with tears rolling down your checks. Knowing you won't remember this, he pulls you in while you're still paralyzed. Your body was limp. His body was cold but yours was too. He wanted to comfort you but he knew well that you wouldn't feel anything or remember anything. For the first time in a while, he felt genuine pity for a human. There's something inside of him that tells him that he shouldn’t feed on you but he’s been hungry for so long. He quickly lets his fangs pierce your skin. The blood is warm but far from sweet. It’s bitter. He keeps going until he’s full. Seungcheol stands up and wipes the blood around his mouth on his sleeve. His cheeks were wet. He had been crying. Blood carries emotions. It’s been so long since he fed that he forgot. He harshly rubs his eyes and looks down at you. He shakes his head and grabs a few tissues from his desk. He dries your cheeks gently and wipes up any blood on your neck.

“Hey, Chan. Yeah, I fed. I need some of that memory wiping stuff you make,” he stopped his sentence to look at you slumped on the chair, “I got myself into some trouble.”

Seungcheol paused for a bit, "Chan, make some of that for me too. My heart doesn't beat anymore but it hurts.”

Tbh this probably won't make sense but idk I wanted to write a fic but I was kinda sad and idk lol. I'm just sad all the time bros college blows :( my two good friends are far and I'm alone in our hometown. I made like no friends and I just wanna disappear. - Chii

Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.

#im always sad omg #im sorry #chii #seventeen scenario #seventeen imagine #seventeen angst #vampire seungcheol #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol angst

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dilfhakyeon-moved · 6 years

Text

I wrote about death and Love

Just trying something out, not anything fandom-related ( or you can imagine it so if you want, but... that’s gonna be hard maybe lmao my mind went to at least three different fandoms while writing it and only one would maybe be fitting, but there’d be no characters for it except one )

Maybe I caught some of that Halloween spirit yeet yeet !

It’s set in a sort of fantasy setting if it can help understand why it can seem so,, heartless. and like. “we won’t do anything to help u”. it’s bc they Can’t bc they Don’t Know what to Do

there’s also a lot of confusion. that’s normal. i write like i’m writing a script for a film so don’t worry abt it if u don’t understand shit it’s bc i visualise everything and then i write it down without thinking about how shitty it will look hsfjdkhd

TW: death, sort of graphic description of stuff that’s kinda not cool ?, also stuff about someone who kinda goes so obsessed she can’t recognise reality I don’t know really but it’s macabre and depressing idk why I wrote that maybe it’s vent but idk why I’d write that to vent !! just. hm

Frozen. Here she lied ; was this truly her peace ? It couldn’t be. If herself wasn’t in peace, how could this bruised, cold skin and these pale, glassy eyes reflect any ? Glassy, they were. She was afraid of looking too long into them, might she see her own reflection in these gruesome mirrors. They were the mirrors of someone’s soul, once.

Tears fell next to them. She stood. A few seconds of reflection before a foggy breath left her, and she was kneeling back down.

Her frail hands were shaking as she took her cloak off, a deaf sob barely reaching her own ears as she carefully placed it on the other figure, covering shoulders and chest. She wished she could see her chest heave just another time.Not another time. More. She wished to see her blink, her eyes giving her stern but affectionate glare again ; she yearned to watch her as she took the cloak off and sat up, offering her a reassuring smile, and she stood, trying to rearrange her messy clothes ; she needed to see her move, as her skirt twirled around and her rare, but bright laughter seemed to echo comfortingly. Hearing her again. Feeling her breath and her gaze, and her words shooting through her mind in the worst ways, her fingers grazing her skin and sending a shiver down her spine. She wasn’t alone, she was fine.

Except she wasn’t. And she was alone, in her little world of fiction she was creating for herself - but in reality, there was no way she could be alone in such a place. However, the world around her had stopped existing, and soon, perhaps she would too. Only perhaps. Nothing in her seemed to show an ounce of concern over that, she hadn’t realised it yet. She wouldn’t realise it. Her mind was making her stare at saliva dripping from the mouth. A detail, but it hadn’t moved in hours at least. It was stuck, like stuck in time. But it wasn’t time, it was the cold. Time never truly stopped, only in people’s imagination.

Her fingers held a tighter grip over the cloak’s fabric, but one of them soon moved to rest on the body’s cold cheek. Colder than her own skin ; her body wanted to gasp, but didn’t have the strength to do so. Frozen.

“... out of here.”

The world still existed.

“Quick, get her out of here ! I won’t repeat myself a third time,” a harsh voice rang out, strong enough to wake her up. “If you leave her to die, I’ll make sure you meet the fate you deserve.”

She didn’t try to stand. She knew they were talking about her. They were always so careful, weren’t they... So caring. Her dark eyes narrowed. She slowly let herself rest on top of that body she cherished so much, closing her eyes - she felt herself go. Hands grabbed her shoulders and forcefully dragged her, she wasn’t nearly conscious enough to feel it. Her betrothed, dancing in a field, the war was over ; they laughed together. What war ? What was war ? Foreign... She laughed. The soldiers were distraught, but kept leading her away. Failing their mission meant death, especially with the war happening all around them. But she was so happy, in her field, with her loved one who’d never truly returned it, but love was blind, and love wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t as happy and beautiful as her grandmother’s tales had told her in such sweet lies. And she’d lied to herself. Love was beautiful.

They thought otherwise. Love was cold, and unforgiving. Love was made of stone, and breaking a person’s mind aroused Him in terrible, depraved ways. They’d been a victim of Him, just like the person they loved ; she’d succumbed, they stood their ground. They had to. They had to face Love, this merciless demon who couldn’t get enough of shattering every remaining piece of humanity in them. They endured the pain. Someone had to beat Love.

Up. Awake. Her eyes opened. The same ceiling made of stones... She was home. What relief. Minutes passed, then she moved. Stood from her bed, despite her leg giving in. She was standing ; she believed she was standing. She walked ; her body was crawling, but she was walking. Her entire left leg had lost its function to frostbite, but she believed she could walk. Looked around as she walked through different rooms, her smile constantly growing. She was home ! She only needed to find the one.

An endless maze. She never realised it. Everyone else did.

They watched. Everytime she came back to the room they were in, their gaze lowered. After a few hours, they had closed their eyes ; a friend came to check in, asked if all was okay, and was rejected. And once they were alone again, tears fell. Tears fell next to her as she came back, and left them in what they were forced to call “being alone”.

Could they refuse calling it “being alone”, if the only person there was unable to even notice your simple existence ? They were alone.

It stopped after three days.

She was stuck on the floor, laughing hysterically yet so painfully. She hadn’t stood a single time, but this time she was unable to move. All she could do was laugh, and call for her love. She was hungry, she was thirsty, they thought. They’d grown almost indifferent to this miserable, almost pathetic sight.

[ From the beginning, they’d known it would be yet another dramatic unrequited love story ; they’d sworn they wouldn’t pay too much mind to it. They wouldn’t trap themselves in attachment. Things had turned out in Love’s favour. They’d hated it. They hated Him. They’d hated how He made them feel, as what once had held a soul yearning for justice and truth became a well of insanity and suffering. Her smile had grown so much she didn’t resemble herself anymore.

“A crawlin’ monster on the carpet,” Love’d whispered in His husky, sultry voice, then snickered. “That’s what you’re thinkin’, boy. How could she end up like that ? You could’ve prevented it, nice guy.”

They’d clenched their jaw ; hadn’t responded. She wasn’t a monster ; she was long gone. And they’d never been a boy, nice guy. Love’d never listened, Love loved putting them through this. ]

But it wasn’t working on them anymore. Indifference, as aforementioned - things were easier to handle when their heart wasn’t being put into it. And somehow, Love had stopped tormenting them. All they felt anymore, was pity. There was nothing to be done ; they stayed there by habit. The walls around them didn’t change. The chair they were sitting on was still the same, and the people who bothered bring them some water and food occasionally were always the same.

Their eyes got lost after a few more hours ; as they stopped focusing and eventually fell asleep, she fell into a sleep deeper they’d ever known. Her last words weren’t words, a cry for help. A language they didn’t speak. They heard it in their dream. And as they woke up in the middle of the night, a last gift from Love awaited them : that macabre view. Her eyes still open, her mouth forever shaped into that terrifying grin she’d worn last, and the saliva dripping from her chin.

They stood. Walked closer. Love hadn’t left, just hidden. Maybe Love had won. Maybe they didn’t care anymore. The world seemed to stop existing, as they kneeled next to the body. She was cold, wasn’t she ? They could feel the cold ; their hands were shaking. She must’ve been cold as well. They took their coat off, draped it over her. The door opened, a voice spoke. They heard a scream, but did they really hear it ?

Or, were they stuck in their world where they were alone with their loved one both laughing and dancing in a field, when in reality they were alone without her - and their only company was the fight occurring, as the fortress was being invaded ?

It was likely they were unaware of reality.

Frozen.

Tag list: - @graceful-popcorn - idk who else would wanna be tagged in that tbh dhgkjdg

#angst #writing #tw death mention #death description #androlomew writes stuff #it isn't that long tbh the one ralbert thing with them as farm boys was double

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survivorsunsetrodeo · 3 years

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Ep 7 | I Just Played Myself - Dan

I BOUGHT THE IDOL LMAOOOO EL PSY KONGROO MOTHERFUCKERS

I am so sorry Timmy, no I am not really, this round is a DOUBLE tribal oh hell no

Okay, amazing. I can never remember what I write in these things but yesterday I was thinking that I didn't want to take Nic to merge and spoke to Taylor about maybe getting Emma and Josh to vote with us and get Nic out if we go to tribal since I wasnt so sure about Brandi and Jabari's stance with him. Jabari was the one who wanted him in the 5 "alliance" and I wasn't sure how Brandi would feel about turning on the alliance.

BUUUUUT Brandi and I were chatting this morning and I mentioned that Emma looked like the easy vote but Nic makes me nervous. Then was like, well, what if we vote Nic instead??? Uh, yes. What a great idea, Brandi!! She pitched it to Jabari and we're all in. We only need 4 but I think it'd be best if Josh and Emma were in on it too. Nic already thinks its Emma.

Sounds like Nic and Emma want to sit out of the immunity challenge. Perfection.

Nic has enough cash for an idol and its for sale this round. IDK if he'd buy and play it just to get through merge. If hes not playing the game he has to feel comfortable enough, right? If he does buy/play an idol Emma will go if he votes for her. I feel like he will. But just in case I think one of the rest of the tribe should also vote Emma. If he throws a vote it'd be a 1-1 tie if he has immunity and we'd revote Emma, but I think that'd be unlikely. Whooo! A little bit of action. I'm getting what I want, Brandi feels like she's in charge, we're keeping our Beeho connections in tact and the whole new Beeho tribe feeling mostly comfortable. Perfect. We still have to get through today and tomorrow before tribal but I feel good.

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You know, I was hoping we'd be able to stay immune until the merge, but clearly the universe is telling me its time to shake things up!

Emma and Josh are, at the point, the only solid allies I have in this game. Merging without them by my side would be awful for my game so at this point I'm going to do whatever I can to protect them.

Prior to reward results, Josh and I decided it would be best to purchase the Tier 1 and Tier 2 idols for this round as a way of not only protecting ourselves, but also making sure that no one else has them to screw with our plans.

I'm pretty sure that according to the Emo Elephant alliance of Jabari, Taylor, Megs, and Brandi, Emma is the target just because of her inactivity. I know though if she wins immunity, Josh will become the target because he's the only one left not in the alliance.

Emma winning immunity would actually be ideal, because then Josh could play his idol on himself, and I could play my idol on myself with the excuse of "I was worried they were voting for me." and it won't look like a coordinated thing.

I think Josh, Emma, and I will end up targeting either Jabari or Taylor. I like them both, but at this point I think it's still worth it to try and preserve an OG Pearl alliance at merge. There's essentially a whole tribe of people I haven't met yet so working with them would be unrealistic.

This vote is going to be crazy, and is definitely going to be the hardest one yet. I like everyone on this tribe and wouldn't be making this move unless I absolutely had to.

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I'm not well versed in Retirement Home Lore but I hope I somehow end up as the person who sat out of the most challenges.

Of course I wanted to win immunity tonight, but I think everything will be okay???? I mean they could easily vote me out going into a possible merge to have the numbers on OG Pearl, but... I just don't see that happening?

I mean I could be boo boo the fool rn but again, I would literally die for Ari. I just feel like we bond too much on a personal level for them to slit my throat at this point. At f7 on? Yeah it's fair game, but I think Ari needs me as much as I need them? Or maybe I'm just a narcissist.

I think I’m in a better position than I originally thought? See the thing about having an idol is I feel like I can be a little more bolder and a little more reckless in the moves I’m trying to make. I probably don’t even need this idol but I’m still going to play it because I’m not about to waste $400 on an idol I won’t play the round it is an actual idol!

I reached out to Taylor telling her about a possible voting bloc of me, her, Jabari and Emma and try to vote out either Megs or Brandi. She seems receptive to it and she also thinks Jabari is open to making some moves. Which checks to what Jabari has been telling to Emma and myself that “As long as Taylor and I are here you aren’t going anywhere.”. I feel like Taylor is an unexpected ally for me. Ideally, me, Emma, Nic, Taylor and Jabari vote out either Megs because she seems to be more socially savvy than Brandi and I think I can still salvage something with Brandi. When we merge I follow Taylor with whatever connections she has on Old Beeho and try to set myself up where I’m protected on all sides.

Worst case scenario is Taylor rats this out to the alliance chat but not all is lost because I think Nic would be willing to play his idol for Emma. Nic is our little rat and I really appreciate him hehe. Now if this happen I really really want it to be a 1-1-1-0-0 vote. Imagine the chaos. El Psy Kongroo

I WON THE 21 FLAGS I REDEEMED MYSELF AND BROKE MY CURSE WHAT A HECKIN RELIEF

so glad my page of madman notes and my alliances with both the other players paid off whewwww. it's been forever since i've had an immunity necklace so i WILL be wearing it with pride! i'm definitely feeling a lot better about tonight's vote now that i have this, but also i am still pretty nervous because chloe has been far too quiet. i feel honestly so bad about not telling her the whole timmy thing but now im just confused like, did that break her and she's given up? or does she have some master scheme advantage shit that she's gonna pull out to make our lives hell? UGH i don't know. it's so awkward to try and talk to her about it and part of me feels like if she's not gonna make the effort i shouldn't either but :(((((( bad vibes y'all. i would have maybe even fought for her if she'd been trying harder, but like i can't just take someone into merge who's giving me nothing and who will probs blow up my spot as soon as we get to the new camp, so at this point the plan is to have me jacob dan vote for chloe and ali throw a vote on dan just in case, and just have chloe do whatever tf she wants i guess.

so the possibilities of what could happen tonight: 1) everything goes according to plan and chloe goes home without much fuss 2) chloe pulls out an idol, then it's either a) split vote between ali/dan and we vote dan on the revote or b) 3 votes negated 2 votes dan 3) if dan goes rogue and also throws a vote, it could get messy in even more ways - if he votes the same as chloe and she doesn't play an idol, we have a 2-2-1 tie where we'd want to revote chloe but then dan could get upset and loose cannon all over the place. if he votes the same as chloe and she does play an idol, whomever they voted (probs ali) goes home. if he votes different from chloe and she doesn't idol, it could either be a 2-1-1-1 or 2-2-1, and if he votes different from her and she does idol it's 1-1-1 or 2-1-1........

like, damn. this five-person vote is like the 3-2-1 flag combination in the challenge: on paper it seems better to have a lower number of factors to think about, but there's so many more ways you can divide and rearrange for different outcomes that you'd really rather avoid it at all costs. basically how i feel about all this is, if chloe sticks around my game is pretty much screwed but also as long as i can keep jacob, i'll have the strength to keep going. losing ali would suck bc he's a solid number always, losing dan would be painful bc i've really grown to like him and he's closer to a strategic match for me, but i have faith that me and jacob can overcome anything together. if jacob goes home somehow.................. i would be absolutely devastated. i'd have no choice but to go all scorched-earth on everyone's asses. if i lose jacob, everyone must suffer. so let's not let jacob go home tonight mmkay? <3

anyway, really hoping we do actually m*rge after this, my plan if chloe doesnt go home tonight is to throw myself at josh and tsl immediately and tell both of them i'll do whatever the fuck they want. if chloe does go home as planned, i'll still reach out to them but i can afford to be a bit more cool and aloof about it.

I think its cool I won immunity. But the double tribal is terrible ngl, I don't want anyone to go because we were such a powerful tribe and I get the reason why we are going. Doesn't make the choice any easier though, I have alot to ponder, I might not even know who I'm voting at tribal.

It all went tits up last time so fuck it

I keep telling myself to smile and breath through the pain of being lied to and that I will get my revenge for Timmy in time. It’s so much more difficult being patient than losing my shit in tribe chat and yelling about everyone or randomly spreading a rumour that there’s a secret duo

This tribal is very... suspicious. It's been quiet ALL DAY and Megs has been throwing my name under the bus to Emma and apparently to Taylor to. She told them that it was ME who came up with Emma's name and that I am not to be trusted. Now I'm not sure if she's saying all of that to convince Emma she's not going home or if she genuinely believes it but either way it's just another reason for me not to trust her. She is clearly a very strategic person who will do anything to ensure she has the power. Well Megs... you're about to be impeached and removed.

I literally have no idea what is going to happen at merge at this point. This tribal is really going to shake things up and anything could happen. I feel like chances are I'll be on the bottom come merge and will probably be an early merge boot, but is there anything I can really do about that? I didn't do anything to deserve being on the bottom of OG Pearl yet it's stuck with me this entire game. You could say I have a victim complex but I am the victim.

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why do these ppl think im dumb as hell thats my personality but not my brain they telling lies like jabari and nic are a duo how nic wants me out then i hear that megs spread my name now i feel chaotic i hope josh gives me his idol because like i really want to play this game i am better now it took a bit but im here and queer :DDD i have nothing against these ppl except jabari for basically pushing me away like if im still here in jury im making notes of this..

Oy! This should be so much easier than its been.

I'm so uncomfortable.

So earlier Brandi, Taylor, Jabari, and I agreed to take out Nic, despite having him in the alliance. Now Jabari seems like she's ready to fall on the sword for him? Where did that come from?? Nic claims he never talks to her.

Reached out to Emma and assured her I want her to stay and floated Nic to her. Obviously she was down. Then I tell her to be careful what she tells Jabari bc i think her and Nic are a pair and up to something. Emma says she talked to Jabari to plead her case and Jabari brushed her off and just said, "dw you're fine" but didnt give a name.

Jabari also floated to Taylor, "we could go with the group or make a move with Emma and Josh." And Taylor said "No" and then Jabari said okay, its between Emma and Josh then.

Like I don't know where Jabari's head is at. I feel like Taylor would tell me if she heard my name. I also feel like that'd be fucked up if Jabari wanted me out after I helped her practice for the immunity challenge but I really really dont know! Maybe its Brandi? Ugh

I trust Brandi and Taylor's vote.

I want to believe Emma will also vote Nic.

Josh doesnt seem to have a great strategic mind. I spoke to him a little last night before I went to bed and he suggested staying OG Pearl strong. Weak strategy but also we wont have majority unless Dan DOESNT go tonight. Then we'd go in even and Beeho would have proven to be very strong in their ties, what would stop any OG Pearl (me lol) from flipping and putting OG Pearl in the minority to pick off? No. I was trying to lead him to think Nic was the untrustworthy one but it either went over his head or he's also with Nic. By the number of times he says "I dont understand" or "I really don't get it" in a day, he might've just missed my subtle directing. Fortunately, Emma said she'd talk to him and Brandi wants to give him a call before tribal and convince him to vote Nic.

And I just cant read Nic. I can't tell if he's comfortable or knows I don't trust him and is lying to me as much as I'm lying to him. Does he have an idol? He talks about the shop A LOT and had enough to buy one of them. He said his goal was to make it past merge so I wouldn't put it past him to buy and play one even if he was comfortable just to make it.

Even that would be fine if I felt confident that the vote was on Emma and not me Brandi or Taylor. I feel like someone would tell at least one of us if something was up but if its Jabari Nic Emma and Josh together, thats a majority and whoever they vote is done.

Its so scary. I don't like being afraid so fuck it, I'm just going to vote Nic. I really feel like they arent voting TSL so in case it is me, ofc I want my buddy to have the best chance so I'm going to give her all my money before tribal. I would be surprised if I was voted out but better have a back up plan in case it goes awry. She'll give it back and I'll buy the top tier idol just before radomizing at what, 11 tonight? Kinda a waste to try to be sneaky since the item is taken out of the randomizer but *shrug*

So in conclusion I'm terrified but I'm still voting Nic. Getting Nic out would take out someone I'm suspicious of, eliminate the threat of a pair (Jabari/Nic), gain hopefully lasting loyalty from Emma for giving her a chance, and working with Taylor to get ins with Beeho in case they're very OG Beeho Strong. Jabari might be mad but she's so much better at games than me and I do NOT want to go to the end with her. She is a CHAMP.

These people are scrambling like crazy...............

This should be the most easy straightforward vote of the season and I’m freaking the fuck out. It seems too good to be true that it’s Chloe.

Chloe has done very little to get out of this pickle she’s in. I’m very worried that she may have some sort of advantage that might get her out of this mess, but at the same time idk. She allegedly has no money because of exile. But is that because she got something for risking it??? Idfk man.

I’m tempted to throw a vote on Jacob just in case of an idol play and everyone else but Chloe votes for Chloe. Idk I mean no one would know? And if she cancels a vote or two it won’t matter. Idek I’m in my head sooooo bad

ahhhh i'm at work so sorry for no video but we are voting chloe tonight and dan ari and ali and i are in an alliance and we're going to attempt to dominate at merge so yay

So apparently Megs, Brandi, and Taylor are throwing my name out because they believe 1.) I've been the one causing all the drama and 2.) I'm in a duo with Jabari. I've literally never had a one on one strategic convo w/ Jabari and barely speak with her in general. Also I've made it a point to not cause drama this season AT ALL and remain calm and under the radar. So to see it all crash down on me regardless is really disheartening. I also really liked Brandi so to learn she was the one spreading the rumor that Jabari and I are a duo sucks. I'm really confused as to why all this drama is being created and then being pinned on me. Oh well.

To continue on this point..

All this drama is being stirred up and being pinned on me and it sucks. I used to be a super dramatic and chaotic person and I've literally made it such a point to change this season. It's why I went home season 1 and I've done everything in my power not to let that happen again. I'm not sure why Megs and Brandi were so quick to turn on me? Like honestly? Megs is kinda the villain of the season and Brandi is her minion. Like the Despicable Me type of Minion. Which makes Megs Gru.

Power Rankings: ONE - TAYLOR (+1) Threat: 8 (+1)  Fuck I don’t think I realized how much power I had over people until this round. Megs was close to being a goner this round, still could be but I fixed the situation unless an idol pops up. I had a call with josh where he basically said im his number one and will vote how I do because im the only one he trusts, so he should be voting Nic this round. I also got megs to give me all her money incase she leaves this round. TWO - MEGS (-1) Threat: 8 (-1) Trust: 10 (+1) This has been a wild round, megs rolls in at #2 for a couple reasons. People are onto her, they know how big her threat level is and I knew it would come. I think I stuck my neck out too much for her this round. But she still has enough control over people that I don’t have, like brandi, which is why she comes in at #2. THREE - BRANDI (NC) Threat: 6 (NC) Trust: 8 (+4) Brandi comes in at number 3 because no one is saying her name, she’s sitting pretty and not having to lift a finger. However, she is getting grouped with megs which could be a danger to her game. Brandi is definitely UTR, and doing a good job keeping it that way. Brandi’s trust shot up because I know she doesn’t have any other option right now that to stick with megs, and I know megs and I are good. FOUR - JABARI (NC) Threat: 8 (+3) Trust: 2 (-6) Jabari almost pulled off a massive move this round in getting megs, she included me in it however, and I was able to diffuse the bomb before it exploded. Her trying to make this move is why her threat level increases. She’s onto me though, she told josh that she thinks I leaked it to megs, which I did. So that’s why I dont trust her anymore, I need her to leave ASAP. FIVE - JOSH (NC) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 9 (+6) Josh and I made a lot of progress this round. We had our first one on one call where he told me I was his number one. He said he trusts me, he gave me a lot of info on his concerns and also what people have been telling him. I don’t think he has enough social capital to make things happen, and even if he did he wouldn’t do it without me. SIX - EMMA (NC) Threat: 1 (NC) Trust: 3 (NC) I think the only reason Emma isn’t a goner this round is because megs wants Nic gone. She kinda just does as she’s told and that’s about it. Not a terrible strategy but annoying for someone like me who doesn’t particularly trust her. Emma doesn’t have a lot of say in what happens, but is included in the majorities plans as Jabari wanted her a part of the megs blindside, and megs wanted her a part of the Nic blindside. SEVEN - NIC (NC) Threat: 6 (NC) Trust: 2 (-4) I had a very bad round with Nic. I can tell Jabari leaked to him that his name is out there, and I know hes come to me saying that people think hes stupid and hes talking about me. I dont think hes stupid, I just dont have trust built with him. He doesn’t hold a lot of power this round, he likely is the one leaving unless he has an idol.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

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survivorforestofhorrors · 4 years

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Episode 3: I really am booboo the fool - Dan

First off, I want to start off by saying, Nik you will missed. 😭❤️ So, we get our immunity challenge and of course, it’s fucking puzzles. I am AWFUL at puzzles, and I’m just afraid I’m going to let my tribe down. 😔 That’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to be the reason we lose, and I don’t want an easy target on my back in the event that we do have to go to tribal.

Ya know what I just love? One of my closest allies going home over T*m and now we have to do a fucking puzzle comp against his ass. I hope and pray his tribe like throws so they can vote him out. Also I love that I have a fucking machete and then FORGOT to go straight and use my machete to hack through the jungle to probably get some sort of reward. I really am booboo the fool

Well i did my puzzle. I hope we win immunity because this round there hasnt been much talk. So im nervous that I might be left out and can be an easy target. Im nervous amd kinda scared if we lose. I hope im not a target.

I hate it here.

Welp, we lost. But not by a lot. My score wasn’t terrible I guess. In this game, I trust Dan and Grace the most with Zach up there too. The fact that Zach is exiled is good I suppose because Dan hinted at possibly wanting to vote him since they never talk. I didn’t like that idea, so I’m glad he’s safe at Exile. I would definitely prefer Chips to be the vote since him and I haven’t spoken, but I’ll go with just about anyone at this point.

Ok i didn't send this cuz i didnt know if i would be there. Nik should have kept his mouth shut and ryan or gavin would have left which would have looked a lot better for me. Those 2 are gonna gun for me and ill gun for them right back. I'm trying to get on a good side with austin or brandan. Glad we won so i can relax thank god zach is dumb and left lol

y'all, I might be in a pickle! I feel like i've connected with pretty much everyone on my tribe???? This might be a first for me because I usually let socializing take a back seat to my strategic/physical game, but mama might be onto something here. My worry is that I will spread myself out too thin. the good news is, that people are openly talking game with me and saying names.

Daulton has thrown out Chips, which is a decent option, but not one I really want to pursue at this precise moment. While I trust daulton and want to work with him, I think I need chips here. Chips and I don't always see eye to eye, but we're from the same stomping grounds. there's respect there. Obviously if he's the vote, I'll vote his ass out, but I think I need other options. Keaton seems like someone I want to work with, and also livingston. They both have expressed interest in working with me, which I love bc I do enjoy talking to them about life and stuff. I am hoping to form a little thing with them. ALSO jessie wants to work with me kljfalksjfa I literally CANNOT yall. I feel like I'm making so many deals but what am I supposed to say to people? NO??? haha Grace seems interested in working with me but she also leaves me on read constantly so i'm not sure about that. I gave josh a heads up he was getting votes last time so I think i'm in good with him as well? not entirely sure. I certainly said his name a lot last round, but I didn't write his name down?? idk if he knows of my involvement haha.

for the most part though, I feel pretty good about this tribal so far, but I'm sure in approximately 20 hours I will be spiraling out of control flkjasldkf

I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything, but Livingston and I created a 4 person alliance with us two, Grace, and Keaton this round. We all decided that since Livingston’s name was being thrown out there that were should counter it with Chips since his name is also out there. Josh’s name is a choice too apparently and Dan heard his name but not Livingston’s, so maybe Livingston isn’t a target, but just to be sure, we’re voting Chips. And I got Josh on board as well as Dan I think, so the numbers are there regardless of what Jessie, Maynor, and Chips do. I’ve been subtly pushing for Chips all day by just telling people that I haven’t talked to him as much but not really saying I wanted him gone, and it seems to have worked out somehow that the person I really wanted out is now leaving (or should be). Zach being on Exile sucks because I feel like he’d vote with our 4, but after he returns, we should be able to have him become a 5th for us. We’ll see how this tribal goes though. 🤞🏻

ooooof. The person I would have liked to vote out this round is on exile, so I love that for me! It's not that I don't like Zach, I just know he's good and a big threat and likable. So if we could have figured something out to get him out that would have been awesome. I think when he comes back i'm gonna message him incessantly to build an ounce of a relationship with him lmao.

But anyway, onto the vote, three names got floated to my knowledge. Those names being livingston (hard no from me), josh v (meh), and chips (pls god yes). So I was rolling with the josh v vote because it was safe, until miss chips made me mad. I told chips I had heard Josh's name. I did this because chips said he wanted to work with me, which is cool. But when I told him that he said to me "I think I wanna message josh and see what he's being told about the vote" i'm not sure how that convo goes without chips telling him that his name is going around and that it's potentially coming from me. So obviously I went to my main squad alliance of keaton and livingston and filled them in on the tea. In the meantime, I messaged daulton and asked him if he had any updates because he had floated chips' name by me last night and I was hoping to fuel that fire again. He told me the three names I said above and that he was leaning toward chips. I said cool, sounds good. I don't want to vote josh or livingston, pitched an alliance between myself, josh, and daulton, and now feel pretty secure with most of the people in the tribe, as long as people don't talk and spill too much about their allegiances flkajsdfklajs.

I'm really not trying to play a messy game, I am just trying to be more socailly forward than any other games I've been in, and I really feel like it might be paying off.

I don’t fucking like this “please be around after tribal and don’t tell anyone you got this message” thing.... I’m just thinking I’m about to get fucked by a twist

#Forest of Horrors #Survivor #Episode 3

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seraphicwiing · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au (I have one AU which can be read here!) / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (He’s a damn HERO!)

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (ALL OF THE ABOVE >:D)

How strictly do you follow canon?

For me it’s a little weird since I originally intended this blog to be just about Sephiroth from Crisis Core to FF7 and Remake. But as I grew around the blog and began writing with more people, I felt the need to just fill in all of the blank canvas that was Sephiroth’s past. So I guess you could say I do follow canon to a certain extent? But 55% of my stuff is not considered canon and are just things I’ve added to add a little spice to my son! But yeah, canon wise I follow Remake as my main verse which considering the theories may just be the same Sephiroth we’ve known for the last 20 years.

(Placing under a cut from here on out, I don’t want to make your dash messy)

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

Okay, I don’t know how long this is gonna be but I hope I can get through all of the topics I wanna talk about without looking like I’m waffling. Firstly, a lot of people seem to forget that Sephiroth wasn’t just a monster, Messiah Complex psycho. Before his downfall, he is shown to be a kind hearted and gentle warrior, he had a heart and had support from his friends throughout the entirety of his military career. He was genuinely happy.

If you’ve seen the clips of him in Crisis Core, I want you to pay close attention to Sephiroth’s facial expressions before Nibelheim. He has a natural smile, he’s calmer and more relaxed, his face is clean and no bags at all underneath his eyes and his hair is more well kept and tidy compared to his more deranged and haggard look in Remake. He tells Zack to take care and genuinely treats him as if he’s known him for years once they get close. Sephiroth clings onto his allies as if they were his own family.

There are so many factors to consider when it comes to Sephiroth’s eventual descent into madness, it wasn’t just the books and reports underneath ShinRa Manor that drove him insane. While it played the biggest major factor in it all, other events still have to be considered.

Genesis who became an actual IDIOT of a person tells Sephiroth that he was a monster. A man that he saw as his older brother, a close friend and comrade swooping in with the intention of using Sephiroth just to heal his degrading body asks for his help but not before legitimately TEARING into Sephiroth’s birth. It was insulting and incredibly disrespectful seeming as at that point Seph had already seen the failed experiements and JENOVA’s chamber. It all came in a huge wave all at once, and the ShinRa Manor discovery only served to be the final nail in the coffin. His entire life, a mere lie.

When he goes insane, he’s ruthless. He’s scathing. What remains of the old Sephiroth can only be seen from his brute strength and his skills with a blade. He will end you if you even so thought about trying to stop or question his ideals but not before toying with you mentally. He will break you, one way or another and he won’t stop until you are either.

It is honestly one of the most heartbreaking things watching a good man who appeared to be fine physically, but mentally was so incredibly fragile. Deep down, he always felt detached from people even with the friends that he made. He tried so hard, but his mind was weaker than his body. He was consumed by Rage and an eldritch monstrosity whispering things in his ear.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

Maybe the tragic villain is something that’s played out too often? It’s definitely a trope that’s used quite a lot in media and Final Fantasy is no stranger in using it a lot in most of the main line games. Maybe people wanted more from Sephiroth that he just didn’t have character wise.

I don’t know, I just feel as if some people might not like his motivations. I put it down as his mental state being so damaged from all the wars, the loss of his friends, and the cold hearted reality of his origins drove him insane but surely his rage could’ve been diverted to the true culprits which was just ShinRa? For someone so strong why did he succumb so easily? Did Nibelheim really have to be burnt down? Could he have been sensible about it? Probably. But his mental psyche was utterly destroyed.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

My inspiration to play this muse honestly stems from my love for roleplaying villains. Sephiroth in this case was quite a unique specimen because of how many paths you could take your portrayal in. This character is easily one of the most complex I’ve written mainly because he’s two characters in one and both Sephiroth’s before and after Nibelheim are completely different. I honestly love the contrast. Like I’ve always wanted to muse him, but anxiety and worry that I wouldn’t be good at portraying him really took a dampener on my wish. Until now.

I love Sephiroth so much, everything about him just gels well with me. I get to write a hero and a villain. A kind hearted man and a psychopath. I get the best of both worlds. He’s such a flawed and tragic character and I just love exploring his psyche.

What keeps your inspiration going?

I have a playlist dedicated to Sephiroth that I smetimes listen too when I’m writing, I always try to rewatch particular scenes from specific games that he’s involved in to get into the muse. For example, pre Nibelheim I watch the Genesis vs Sephiroth vs Angeal fight and post Nibelheim I watch scenes from Remake. I also like to look up art and musings for Sephiroth, it definitely keeps the muse chuggin’!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. (According to my mutuals and friends ;u;)

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (Sometimes I doubt myself, it honestly depends. These feelings can be pretty sporadic)

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (Same reason as above)

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

I always accept criticism if it’s constructive, I will always ask for it when needed because I really do want to improve and make sure that my portrayal is as perfect as possible, but if you come to me spouting hate about the way I portay the character please don’t. Respect my portrayal, critique where applicable.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

100% yes. Send development questions at me, I love them.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

You are entitled to your opinion. I don’t care if you disagree with my headcanons, I don’t care if you disagree with my ships. I am here to have fun, and my intentions are for you to have fun with me. But if said person disagrees, why bother following me or reading my stuff? The door is open for you to leave, you can find another Sephiroth that appeases you.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

A similar answer to the one above. My portrayal is my own, and I am proud of what I have achieved so far and the interactions I’ve had, and the ships that I have planned out on here. I love it so much and if they disagree with that, then they can unfollow me. Hell, if they want too, block me. They’re entitled to their opinion as long as they don’t flaunt it around. Just don’t be a dick about it tbh?

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it

More power to them, hate Sephiroth all you want I won’t indulge these petty arguments about how Kefka was a better villain. I’m just gonna slurp on the salty tears and relax while writing about my favourite heartless boy.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

I am always okay. I have a habit of never proof reading my stuff before I send it so my grammar is all wnky and over the place. I always want to improve as a writer and continue to grow as one, we can do this together should you wish <3

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I like to think I’m very easy going, I’m quite a shitlord when talking OOC. If you don’t mind me thirsting over my muse than we’ll get along just fine. I’m perfectly open for chats and whatnot, I’m a good listener. Sometimes I do end up being pretty clingy though, soooo... Let me give you hugs all the time.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#;— WITHIN THE LIFESTREAM (ooc)#(im tired now after this)#(i rewrote this multiple times to make sure it looked good but idk)#(i feel like i've poorly conveyed myself in this hahaha!)

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Picture of messy Nancy] Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Is this gonna be my fault too, like? Rio: Nah Rio: Sure she could make a case but School is stressing her, got that info 'fore we got here so you're good Rio: How's your evening going, like Buster: Being hungover's really gonna help her ace all those classes but whatever Buster: I'll be the boring twin for the night again Rio: It's alright, we got it sorted before we went out Rio: she's helping me get my CV out Buster: Yeah? Buster: Proud of you, babe Rio: Maybe I'll work at the gay club, keep an eye on her Buster: The way she's going, someone needs to Buster: Maybe get off my back mum, you know Rio: She reckons the teachers don't really help her out now, since you know Rio: Idk if I should tell your Ma or if Nance will flip if I do Rio: I've told her to ask the others for help more Buster: We should tell her, she thinks she's failed me so she can claw some good parent points back Buster: But yeah, be careful 'cause Nance might not appreciate it as much as mum will Rio: Why does she think that? Buster: 'Cause I had to tell her how unhappy I was, you know, before Buster: So she'd cut us some slack now Rio: Ahh Rio: Yeah, imagine she wasn't buzzing to hear that Rio: I think Nance was okay but she wants to talk to you Buster: You're not wrong Buster: Well, I'll await the drunk texts then Buster: Always fun Rio: Yeah, leave it 'til she's sobered up and make her accountable, like Buster: Yeah Buster: So how drunk are you? Rio: Not even! Rio: How rude Rio: professional Buster: Just checking Rio: 😒 Rio: No faith, honestly Buster: Nance drives the best of us to join her drinking, that's all Rio: I mean, not being a nun about it Buster: Good to know Rio: Idk if I fuck with the vibe of this one anyway Rio: not to be a fussy bitch about it but you know Buster: You're a know-it-all that's your vibe, gotta trust it Buster: You'll find somewhere else Rio: Not that I can convince her to move on just yet Buster: It's like that then Buster: I see Rio: You know Rio: suppose I could leave her to it and pick her up like the 👵 I've become Buster: Ma life Buster: It don't sound like she'd mind though, so do what you want, babe Rio: 🙄 Rio: I'm bored Buster: Me too Buster: It's shit Rio: What are you doing Buster: I got talked into going to the literal worst house party I've ever been at Buster: I'm just gonna leave Rio: Ahh fun times Rio: People stop having house parties when you're out of school, which is weird because it's your house now like, you can do what you want Rio: is there not even decent booze to steal? poor boy Buster: 'Cause they're always shit and not worth the damage cunts are trying to cause to ease their boredom Buster: Nah, not even, I've got better at home, cheers Rio: True Rio: the shit Indie and her mates have wrecked Rio: and that's just 'cos they're clumsy stoners, like Rio: but we sound 100 this is ridiculous Buster: 😒 Buster: Is this what happens when you put a ring on it 'cause sorry, like Rio: Ugh, don't Rio: and we're getting carried away Rio: Gracie is sending me dress options and your sister basically wants her fee now, like Buster: Fuck that Buster: Forget carried away I'm about to run away from all their bullshit Rio: Yeah well take me with Rio: I'm the one fielding most of their bullshit IRL Buster: I'm sorry, babe Rio: It's alright Rio: They're just compensating for how weird it makes 'em feel but Rio: already over it Buster: At the start of this convo I was gonna say I wanna come home but Rio: Baby Rio: I miss it just being us Buster: I wish we could go somewhere else Buster: Fucking school Rio: I know Rio: least when exams start you do most at home right and just go in for the actual tests Buster: Giving me more time to miss you, like Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: we can work with that Rio: you can come here or I'll go there whatever Rio: I just need to get this flat situation sorted for Inds, she's staying 'round the house but it's not ideal Rio: especially when Eds comes back Buster: I can get a flat for you Buster: Probably not Drew's but a better one maybe Buster: Until then could you two not stay in the one over the pub? Rio: I don't actually know Rio: but I should ask Rio: I know the last student they had in there graduated but that was a while back now Buster: Hit up Granddad he'll never say no to you Rio: Worth a shot Rio: Got any other good ideas whilst we're here, babe? Buster: Always Buster: Get a drink first Buster: Catch up to me Rio: Long Island it is Rio: gotcha Buster: At least you ain't in Chelsea, could run through all your funds with a tab like that Buster: A tiny silver lining for you Rio: Is it? Rio: not even gonna buy me a drink now, okay 😜 Buster: I reckon that was another thing going in the vows Buster: 'Cause you hate it when I buy you shit Rio: Yeah I mean, exceptions to the rule though Rio: not trying to bankrupt myself Buster: I love you Rio: Love you idiot Buster: Cheers for looking so good it keeps me on your socials instead of my sister's Buster: That's another reason, like Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good to know you're still interested, like Buster: Good to know that my absence doesn't make you into a car crash, you know Buster: Save that for her Rio: Little harsh Rio: but don't think you need to take responsibility for it either Buster: Don't worry I wasn't Buster: I didn't break her heart like that Rio: Reality always gonna take that shot Buster: Anyway, bit rich to call me harsh when I bet she was saying worse about me Rio: You wanna know or? Rio: Should probably let you tell you herself Buster: I'm sure I'll hear it all firsthand tonight with no filter Rio: It wasn't that bad Rio: I just put her right on some things Buster: You're cute Buster: Defending my honor Rio: You're not mad? Buster: Why would I be? Rio: idk Rio: 'cos I'm emasculating you or some shit Buster: Shut up Buster: I like that you wanna speak up for me Rio: I'm glad you aren't mad Buster: It's hot, babe Buster: You are Rio: Shh Buster: Never Rio: I miss you Buster: I know Buster: I want you here Rio: I wish I was Buster: Me too Buster: I'd even rather be there and deal with the bullshit than be here without you Rio: Yeah? Rio: At least you can come when this kid finally shows Buster: Thank fuck Buster: Even my mum couldn't fault me there Rio: Be in the shit if you didn't put in an appearance Buster: Yeah, Ro loves me so much you can't dull the shine, babe Buster: I'm the fave Rio: Charming Rio: Only 'cos you're such a 🤓 Buster: You love it too Buster: Win, win Rio: 😒 Rio: Oh yeah, we'll bond over that Buster: 'Course Buster: You're welcome Rio: Truly who I want as my new BFF Rio: not got that old and boring, tah Buster: Glad to hear it Buster: As shit as it is to miss you I don't want you to change so I don't, like Rio: 😏 Yeah trapped now dickhead Buster: Charming Rio: 😂 you didn't wanna change me, like Buster: Yeah yeah Rio: Basically in the vows, soz Buster: It's fine, I'll write my own Rio: Uhmmm Rio: Slightly concerning Buster: Rude Rio: You want your ego stroked go to your Auntie babe Buster: I reckon she's a bit busy right now but I'll bear it in mind Rio: Is she tho Rio: we all waiting Buster: Always on the verge of that breakdown, takes time and a toll Rio: Oh my God Rio: speak of the devil, that was freaky Buster: What? Buster: Rio? Buster: Why am I talking to myself? What the fuck? Buster: Babe Buster: Come on Buster: You're freaking me out now Rio: Sorry, sorry Rio: That was a whole thing Rio: Drew was here Rio: first time I've seen him since, first time anyone has but Indie, like Buster: Are you okay? Rio: Yeah, I mean Rio: he was gross as ever but what's new Buster: What did he do? Rio: Nothing, like Rio: he's just always got chat ain't he Rio: though no one asked him Buster: Alright then what did he say? Rio: You're not going to be happy but she didn't hear him, like he wasn't saying it to her Rio: just some shit about being able to turn her, every straight boy ever Buster: Are you sure she didn't hear it Rio: Pretty sure, she was chatting to some girl at the time, like Rio: distracted anyway when he saw the ring Rio: that was fun Buster: Do you wanna go home? Buster: Nance will understand Rio: Fuck that Rio: Only here dealing anyway he's had to go off now, like Buster: Good Rio: How has he still not changed, like at all Rio: he didn't even ask about Indie Rio: or Ro or the baby or any of it Buster: He's a cunt Buster: He don't wanna change Buster: Or deal with any of it Buster: There's only one type of dealing he knows how to do, like Rio: Christ Rio: it almost makes you feel sorry for him Rio: what's it gonna take, man Buster: Maybe on his death bed when no fucker cares he'll have an epiphany Buster: I doubt the next stint in prison will do anything Buster: Are you gonna tell Indie you saw him? Rio: What's the point Rio: Poor bitch Rio: she don't need to know Buster: Yeah Buster: You're right Rio: It ain't giving her any false hope by not she still hates him Rio: but I don't need to drive home a point she already knows too well, like Buster: It's so fucked Rio: Yep Rio: and I'm the one feeling like the fucked up one Rio: thanks, Drew Buster: Fuck that Buster: Don't Rio: I'm trying Buster: I know, baby Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Not your fault Buster: But you shouldn't have to handle this on your own all the time Buster: I should be there Rio: It's nothing I can't handle Buster: Still Buster: I wanna handle him for you, the cunt Rio: So cute Buster: I'll find him when I'm back it won't be hard to do Rio: No you won't Rio: you'll be too busy Buster: Promises, promises Rio: You know you will, golden boy Buster: Fuck off Rio: Rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're not selling this Buster: Do you want me back or do you want me to run in the other direction from everyone else, like Rio: Sorry Rio: I'm being a bitch Buster: Don't say sorry Buster: Talk to me properly Rio: I don't know, I just feel gross Buster: Are you sure you don't wanna leave? Rio: I just want to be with you Buster: I know Buster: If you can get somewhere you can hear me, I'll call you Rio: Alright Rio: I feel like a party pooper Buster: Don't Buster: I wouldn't be faring any better if I saw that cunt out and about Buster: You know I wouldn't Rio: It's so stupid Rio: why do I even care Buster: It's not stupid Buster: He gets under your skin, he's always been good at it, with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: Gotta be good at something right Buster: Exactly Buster: You know you'd tell me he ain't worth it, babe Rio: Yeah but what do I know Buster: Please Buster: You're a know-it-all and I love it Rio: Don't take the piss babe Buster: I ain't Rio: I have no idea what I'm doing Buster: Who the fuck does? Rio: At least you all have plans Buster: We have plans together, don't we? Rio: Yeah but I can't just piggyback off yours can I Buster: You won't be Buster: You can do anything you want Buster: When you decide what that is Rio: This is exhausting Rio: I should've finished School Buster: Shit that's worth having doesn't come easy, babe Buster: and you still can, if you want Rio: Well it'd be nice if it did Rio: just for a change, like Buster: You're telling me Rio: Fuck it Rio: I'm going somewhere else Buster: With Nance or without? Rio: She's busy Rio: I'll give her my location if she cares, like Buster: You can't say fairer than that Buster: Or do more, like Rio: Yeah Rio: she don't need a babysitter Rio: and not the job I'm after Buster: Where are you going? Rio: Not decided Rio: see where I end up Buster: Just try not to end up where he is again Buster: That's all I'm thinking Rio: Wow Rio: like I'm that stupid Buster: Calm down Rio: Nah you know what, I'll go back find him, see if he wanna get high again Rio: for fuck's sake Buster: How about you leave your attitude in this club and walk out Buster: Jesus Rio: Fuck off Buster: Don't take this out on me Rio: Go away then Buster: You're an idiot Buster: No Rio: I know, you've made it abundantly clear you think so Buster: Bullshit Rio: Whatever Rio: I don't wanna talk Buster: Stop doing this Rio: What Rio: Doing what Buster: Shutting me out Buster: It's shit that you couldn't keep avoiding Drew, fuck knows I wish you could, but how is giving me the silent treatment gonna help? Rio: Look, it ain't personal Rio: I don't want to think anymore Rio: I'm just gonna go get fucked up Buster: Fuck you Buster: It is personal 'cause I love you Rio: I know you do Buster: Just talk to me Buster: Let it go that way Rio: I've got nothing good to say Rio: everything is just Rio: not even shit Rio: just mind-numbingly meh Rio: I'm back in my childhood bedroom, for fuck's sake Buster: So do something about it Buster: That isn't getting fucked up Rio: I fucking am Rio: but I'm pissed off because I sank so much money into making his place decent and he's probably trashed it already Buster: Let's get it back then Buster: Or somewhere better Rio: How Rio: Ask him nice Rio: it's not like it's his Rio: it's done now but it just makes me realise how much time I've wasted Buster: It's not a waste Buster: You did it to help Indie Rio: Yeah well Buster: Yeah well nothing Buster: We'll figure this out Rio: You're being disgustingly optimistic, you knos Buster: Shut up Buster: Let me help you Rio: I'm just being dramatic Rio: must be catching Buster: Hilarious Buster: I've texted Granddad as soon as he texts me back I'll let you know Rio: Why have you done that Buster: To see if the flat's free, obviously Rio: I could've done that myself Buster: It's done Buster: If you want something to do make me a list of anything you actually want from Drew's so I can go get it when I'm back home Buster: I know they only got your bedroom shit, I remember you saying Rio: Why are you even bothering right now Rio: I've been nothing but a dick to you all night, never mind being useless with it Buster: Do you actually need me to answer that? Buster: Come on, Rio Rio: I'm sorry Rio: I'll do better Buster: Don't Buster: I don't want it or need it Buster: And you're allowed to have a bad night, especially after seeing him again Rio: What do you want or need Rio: salvage this night from being a total write-off, like Buster: You Buster: That's all Rio: You've got me Rio: I'm here now, honest Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: [Selfie] Rio: See? Buster: You look so fucking good Buster: I see that Rio: Send me one back Rio: I miss your face Buster: [selfie] Buster: Feel better? Rio: 😊 Yes Rio: You're so pretty Buster: You and me both, babe Buster: God, I miss you so much Rio: I miss you more Rio: defending you just made me realize how much I actually love you Buster: Well good, 'cause it'd be a bit awkward if you didn't at this point Rio: Shh I'm being sincere Buster: Carry on Rio: 😏 Rio: I don't know, think the moment's gone Buster: [Sends more pics] Buster: Are you sure? Rio: Fuck Rio: you are oh-so convincing, aren't you? 🤤😻 Buster: You tell me Rio: You are Rio: you really fucking are Buster: That definitely felt sincere Rio: I'm more than down to prove it to you, babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: [Bathroom nudes] Rio: Believe me now? Buster: Fuck Buster: Okay I believe you Rio: Good Rio: I love you so much Buster, don't forget Buster: I won't Buster: You know I can't Rio: Don't ever wish you could Buster: Never, baby Buster: You're so fucking perfect I have to keep you forever Rio: Please Rio: that's all I want Buster: You're all I want Buster: And I want you so much Rio: How much Buster: I heard your name in class, meaning the place, obviously, but I was so distracted I literally heard nothing else all lesson Buster: If I could have gotten away with touching myself at my desk I would've Rio: Baby Rio: I get you in so much trouble, don't I? Buster: I get myself in trouble Buster: You're an angel Rio: No, you're a good boy Rio: you didn't touch yourself once/ Buster: I wanted to but I didn't trust myself to stop if I did Rio: Just because you heard my name Rio: what did it make you think of? Buster: I couldn't stop thinking about how much you like hearing me say it Buster: That's how it started at least Rio: I do Rio: It sounds better when you say it Buster: You say my name like you're tasting it and me Buster: I think I'd do anything if you said it in a certain way, like Rio: I wish Rio: I know you would Rio: but I'm never gonna ask you to do anything you don't wanna do, trust me Buster: There's nothing you could ask me for that I wouldn't wanna give you Rio: Interesting Rio: I'm going to have A LOT of fun testing that Buster: Me too Rio: Now I'm distracted Buster: I'd say sorry but since you left I've woken myself up 'cause of dreaming about you so many times that I'm actually not Rio: No fair Rio: you know that's my favourite Rio: I'd help you get back to sleep, your dreams would be so sweet, like Buster: The other night I had to watch a video of you begging me to cum to make me so I could go back to sleep Rio: Fuck Rio: I love making you cum Rio: it's my favourite thing to do Buster: If I don't get to really see you soon I'm gonna go insane Buster: It's so much harder than before Rio: I know Rio: I can feel you touching me and holding me and kissing me all the time but it's never enough it's the worst kind of teasing Buster: Yeah same Rio: You'll be here soon Rio: and you only have to be a little bit social Rio: I can keep you the rest of the time Buster: I don't care if none of the others get to see my face Buster: I just want you Rio: Motivation to get a place, we can be as loud as we need Rio: 'cos I need to tell you how much I've missed you over and over Rio: and over, like Buster: I really fucking need that Rio: I know baby Buster: Whether the pub flat is occupied or not, I'll find you somewhere perfect, babe Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Everything's gonna be okay Rio: Yeah? Buster: I promise Buster: Whatever we have do to make it happen Rio: Okay Rio: I believe you Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you know I mean it Rio: You're so nice Buster: Shh Rio: You know you are Rio: I wish everyone else knew it too Buster: It's for you Buster: I don't care what anyone else thinks about me Buster: Unless you wanna tell 'em Buster: 'Cause like I said, that's hot Rio: You're silly Rio: What's so special about me Buster: I'm gonna have to work harder if you're still asking that question Rio: I wouldn't say no to you working me out right now Buster: I'm not gonna say no to that Buster: Where are you? Rio: Different club, same shit Rio: Where do you want me to be? Buster: You can stay there, we can make it work Buster: Tell me how you want me, you've had a shit night, you deserve everything you want Rio: 👑 right? Buster: You know it, baby Rio: Hmm, there's just so many ways I want you Rio: It's hard to choose Buster: Public or private? Start there Rio: If I don't get to be alone with you I want you public Buster: I like the way you think Rio: As if seeing him wasn't bad enough, every boy out here tryna prove how much they aren't you Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm right here Rio: I want to Rio: Make me Buster: [sends a video] Rio: Daddy Rio: How do you get me like this so easy Buster: 'Cause you're mine Rio: Yes Rio: Say it again Buster: You're all mine Buster: Forever Rio: Fuck Rio: I can't wait 'til you're here Rio: and we can be together all the time Buster: Me either Buster: It's the only thing keeping me sane here right now Rio: Everything is gonna be so good and so right Rio: I promise Buster: I know Rio: Not to mention you can fuck me everyday 😋 Buster: All day Rio: Well Rio: Might have to do some work baby Buster: Shh Rio: 😏 Okay Rio: all day every day Rio: I'm going to make you cum more than you've cum in your whole life Buster: I can't wait for you to prove that Rio: You won't need a video no more Rio: I'll be begging for your cum at your feet baby Buster: Jesus Rio: I want it so bad, it's all for me, isn't it daddy? Buster: You can have everything Buster: Anything Rio joined the chat 10 hours ago Rio: All I really want is you Rio: that's just how it is Rio: I wanna live good with you Buster: That's easy Rio: For you, 'cos you're the best Rio: no one has ever been this good to me Buster: It's a good thing you said yes to marrying me then Buster: 'Cause I always will so you don't need to worry about anyone else anymore Rio: I guess so Rio: How did they expect me to say no? Buster: My mum thinks I'm too young to know what I want Buster: Both hypocritical and hilarious Rio: Just one of those parental things they feel they have to say, probably Rio: when they don't know what they actually reckon Buster: Yeah Buster: Nobody in this family can just let there be a silence about anything Rio: Yeah, unless it's about Drew Buster: Literally Buster: It pisses me off, I have to be held accountable for everything when I'm not doing anything wrong but he can do whatever he fucking likes Rio: It's a joke Rio: not even a good one Rio: I don't know why Grandad didn't fuck him up ages ago, he's far from being a kid now Buster: 'Cause he's the kind of petty cunt who'd take you down for making him look a mug Buster: Granddad's got too much to lose Rio: Yeah Rio: I know you're right Rio: I wish someone would though, Christ Buster: You should've let me Rio: What, like you've got nothing to lose? Rio: You got to break his nose, more than I did, like Buster: You could too, or worse Buster: I won't stop you, I'll help you Rio: You're funny Rio: but nah, that ain't how it goes down Rio: I just freeze Rio: I don't know why, him, Ryan, always happens Buster: Baby Rio: Don't be sad Rio: Like you said, I don't have to worry about anyone else anymore Rio: especially not them Buster: I just hate that all that shit happened to you Rio: I know Rio: I feel the same about the things that have happened to you Buster: I should have got my shit together and told you I loved you sooner Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Maybe it would've fucked shit up, who knows Buster: Okay yeah Buster: I'll take that Buster: I was a twat Rio: Awh baby 😂 Rio: I mean yeah Rio: we were all on our bullshit, just the age, idk how both our parents stayed so about each other Buster: They were both as bad as each other Buster: You were above me Rio: Please Buster: Come on Buster: Deny it Buster: You can't Rio: How good could I be Rio: I was such a hot mess, letting boys like that treat me like shit, like Buster: Shut up Buster: That wasn't your fault Rio: No one made me go out with wasteman Rio: I can own it Buster: It's not like you signed up for it Buster: You weren't there like let me find the shittest fucking prick in the 24 to get with Rio: Obviously I didn't know everything, I mean, I still thought he was alright, just a bit of a lad Rio: but there were plenty of warning signs I was happy to ignore like an idiot Rio: all his 'crazy' exes, for a start Buster: As someone who literally has a crazy 'ex' if we can give Chlo that much credit, it's not always that simple, babe Buster: You wanna see the good in people, don't let him think that's a mistake just 'cause he used it wrong Buster: make you* Rio: It's such a fucking catch 22 Rio: he knows how to play it, give him that Rio: 'cos now if I try to warn his next, I'm just one of those crazies who's actually obsessed with him, prick Buster: Yeah Buster: It'd be impressive if it wasn't so fucked Rio: You've got better game Rio: More fun Buster: Cheers, babe Buster: I'd fucking hope so, like Rio: Not high praise, fair Rio: but you already know you're the best I've ever had baby Buster: Tell me again though Buster: I love hearing it Rio: No other boy knows me like you Rio: so no other boy can turn me on like you because it's you, everything you do is my fetish, my fantasy, you're so Rio: Jesus, I need you Buster: You know no other girl knows me, yeah? End of story Buster: You're the only one Rio: So lucky Rio: seriously Rio: I'm so glad I know you, Buster Buster: I'm glad you wanna know me Rio: Of course I do Rio: I always have Rio: Why wouldn't I? Buster: I haven't really sold it before now, like Buster: Nobody else is trying that hard for a reason Rio: You were never as bad as you're saying, or think Rio: I want you to know that, no bias Buster: Shh Rio: I mean it Rio: You were just a kid Rio: it's ridiculous to judge yourself by those old standards, never mind anyone else still doing it Buster: I know what I was Buster: I can own it Rio: I'm just saying Rio: Maybe it's time to let it go Buster: Stop being right all the time Buster: So annoying Rio: You love it Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: I'm gonna look after you Buster: I wish you were here with me now Rio: Me too Rio: My poor baby Rio: You need to destress Buster: We both do Rio: We're going away as soon as we can Rio: Somewhere hot and far away and it'll just be us Buster: That's all I want for us, babe Rio: First, gotta flex your brain and get those A*s Buster: On it Buster: I've been getting decent feedback in spite of the rest of this bullshit going on Buster: It'll be easy Rio: I know, you work so hard Rio: I'm proud of you Buster: I'm proud of you too Rio: I'm not doing anything to be proud of right now but I'm gonna make you Buster: Bullshit Buster: I see you working hard, baby Buster: You've even been helping Nance do hers Rio: Anyone else would do the same Buster: Nah Buster: You're an angel and you know it Rio: Baby Rio: you make me melt Buster: Prove it Rio: Ah, so daddy wants to see how hot he's got his baby girl, yeah? Rio: Hold on, can't upskirt myself here and now for you in this outfit, sadly Buster: That's what happens when you go out with my sister Buster: Priorities, babe Rio: I'm sorry 😔 Rio: I didn't know how badly I'd need easy access without you here but I should've known you'd have be needing to touch myself Buster: Lesson learned Rio: I don't know, I still think I'll need you to really show me when you're here Rio: [Snaps] See? Such a big wet patch, so messy Buster: Christ Rio: I know Rio: You see how much I need you, daddy? Buster: I'm this close to getting on a flight so I can fulfill that need for you that's all I know Rio: Such a good daddy Rio: loves his baby so much Rio: but you can take care of me from there, that's how trained you've got me Buster: If you keep talking like this I'm not sure I'll be able to do anything Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: That's okay, I can do it Rio: I'm a big girl, let baby do all the hardwork and you just lie back and enjoy the show Buster: How do you not know that you're perfect? Rio: I know you think I am Rio: and that makes me so happy Buster: I don't think it, I know it Rio: Every time you say that, it makes me tighter Rio: I wish it was your cock inside me instead of my fingers so you could feel how good I feel Buster: Soon baby Rio: I know Rio: I try to be patient but you know I'm bad at taking my time when you're not telling me to Buster: It's okay, I feel it too Buster: I just fucking need you Rio: You've got me Rio: I'm fucking myself for you so hard Buster: Yeah you are Buster: You're gonna cum for me so hard too Rio: Is that what you want, daddy? You want me to make an even bigger mess for you? I'm so fucking needy and helpless right now, your baby girl is whimpering your name, anyone can come in hear how fucking much you own her Buster: It's exactly what I want Rio: Good, I wanna be your good girl, I wanna make you as happy as you make me Rio: and I feel like I'm gonna squirt, so it's going to be loud and messy in here Buster: Fuck Buster: I wanna see you so badly Buster: You look so fucking beautiful like this Rio: I'm recording for you best I can Rio: so you can enjoy it whenever you miss me Buster: Oh god Buster: The sound I just made then Buster: I've never been happier about the layout of this house 'cause I swear if you turn me on anymore I could still wake my dad up Rio: I can't be sorry Rio: the way you moan could make me cum by itself Buster: I'll record it for you 'cause I know even with all the others you have of me you can't get enough Rio: I can't, I wanna hear every time I get you off Rio: it's only right Rio: You're moaning my name, fucking yourself to the thought of me and my body Buster: Every word you say gets me closer, I can't get over it Buster: You're so Buster: I don't even have any words, like Rio: I don't wanna waste a single one Rio: if I'm not telling you how good you are and how good you make me feel, what's the point? Buster: You're too good Rio: It's all for you Rio: No one else Buster: Good, I need it all Rio: My whole body is yours, daddy Rio: nah, all of me, heart, soul, whatever the fuck else, me, I'm for you Buster: Rio Buster: I don't know how this happened but I'm so fucking glad it did Rio: Me either Rio: it just did Rio: but it feels right, like it's how it was always meant to be Buster: It does Buster: I don't have any fucking clue how I ever got this far without you Rio: I know Rio: I barely function without you now and it's like Rio: I hadn't seen you properly for so long before, then there was so much waiting and wanting before anything even happened Buster: Yeah Buster: Stay with me, okay Buster: No matter what Rio: Of course Rio: I need to Buster: I love you Rio: I love you so much Buster Buster: Say my name again Rio: Buster Rio: My Buster Buster: Every time I reckon I can't moan any louder you do something to prove me wrong Rio: Good, be loud with me Buster: For you Rio: You're such a good boy Rio: know just what to say to make me go harder Rio: deeper Buster: I need you to cum Buster: Do it for me Rio: Yes, keep going Rio: Tell me what to do, I'm so fucking close Buster: Stop being a tease and go harder Rio: Oh God Buster: You know how you want it Rio: I do, I want it to be so good it hurts Rio: I love it when I make you lose control like that and you fuck me like the whore I am Buster: I need you to feel it tomorrow when you're back home celebrating with the fam Buster: Don't forget about me Rio: Baby that's so fucked up Rio: I fucking love it Buster: Do it then Rio: Yes sir Rio: I'm not as good as you but I'm really trying Buster: You're so good baby Buster: Don't stop trying Rio: Can I leave bruises Rio: as I'm pretending to be you Buster: If you can Buster: I want you to Rio: I don't know how I haven't been kicked out Rio: I'm nearly screaming Buster: Maybe they're all enjoying it too Rio: I like that, Jesus Buster: Or maybe they know you couldn't stop even if they tried to make you Rio: Seriously Rio: There's no way I can now Buster: Don't Buster: Finish what you started Rio: I promise Rio: I'm not going to do you like that daddy, I know you need your baby to cum so you can too Buster: Please Rio: You've earnt it Rio: If you were here I would reward you with letting you cum wherever you want Rio: before letting you clean mine up, of course Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Where do you wanna cum, daddy? Buster: You know how good your tits look tonight dressed like that Buster: Easy decision Rio: Mmm, I like that one too Rio: means I can look you in the eyes when I lick up every drop Buster: Baby Rio: Yes daddy? Buster: You've got me so desperate Rio: Is your cock leaking precum for me? Buster: Jesus, I'm so close right now Rio: Please cum for me, I want it so badly Rio: I'll do anything to make you cum, daddy, anything Buster: I'm making so much noise for you Buster: I just wanna cum Rio: Let go, baby Rio: I bet your Dad has already heard you Rio: it's okay Buster: I bet half the street has heard me by now Buster: Lose control with me Rio: Fuck Buster: You make me feel so good Rio: You're my favourite person Buster: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Rio Rio: Marry me Buster: You're gonna be the best wife Rio: Yeah? Buster: Seriously Buster: I can't wait until you are Rio: Baby Buster: I can't believe you want that as much as I do Rio: Really bad Rio: to be honest, the way everyone's gone on made me wanna do it now just to piss them off Buster: I'll marry you now Rio: I know Rio: but fuck doing it for anyone but us really Buster: I know you're right Buster: Again Rio: We'll do it whenever we want though Buster: 'Course Buster: You're the only one who gets to tell me what to do, babe Rio: I'm not gonna spring a wedding on you though Rio: even if I want your name Buster: You do? Rio: Of course Rio: You know I do Buster: That's so hot Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Fuck it, let's get married now Rio: You're so cute Buster: You are Rio: I want to show you off though Rio: don't reckon our turn-out would be all that hot right now Buster: We can have more than one Buster: Your parents did Rio: Well, their first didn't count but Buster: Still Buster: I'll marry you every year if you want Rio: You're killing me Rio: and making it sound like a good idea Buster: We have to do something for our anniversary, yeah? Why not, like? Buster: You can have a different dress for every one, that'd kill me Rio: and bankrupt you 😏 Buster: You wish, babe Buster: I'm gonna be a rich hot shot lawyer soon Rio: Yeah, I think I wish that more, babe Rio: 😻 Buster: So will you? Rio: Are you asking me to marry you again? Buster: Marry me now and then marry me again Rio: Can we? Buster: I want to, so if you want to Buster: Don't say yeah just 'cause I'm an impatient prick though Rio: I want to Buster: Just me and you? Rio: Yeah Buster: Where do you wanna go? I'll take you anywhere in the world Rio: I'll start looking Rio: This summer is going to be perfect Buster: It will Rio: I love you so much Buster Rio: I don't know how to say it in a way that explains how much anymore Buster: I know Buster: I feel the same about you Buster: And I always will Rio: I miss you Buster: I miss you too Buster: I'm sleepy and I want you here Rio: Baby Rio: if you can stay up a little bit longer, I'll facetime you when I get home Buster: Alright Rio: Nance already left off for home apparently so I've just gotta get a cab myself now so I won't be long Buster: I'm not gonna ask if she's alone, I don't wanna know Rio: I didn't ask for specifics Buster: If she tells you, don't tell me, like Rio: 🤐 Rio: 'Course Buster: I'm worried about her Buster: Don't tell her I said that either, obviously Rio: I'm not stupid, or that much of a blabbermouth Rio: You are? Buster: Like, okay worried might be a strong word but Buster: Going out, drinking, hooking up that isn't her, that's me Rio: I know what you mean Rio: but I think it's a case of, look where being me got me Rio: she's just trying things out, she's still her, she's sensible enough not to get too lost in it Buster: I don't want her to have more regrets just 'cause she reckons with all the shit that happened she has to be someone else Buster: I don't know Buster: Maybe I'm the stupid one, yeah? Rio: No, no Rio: It makes sense, I'm worried too but Rio: I don't think there's anything you can do, or any of us Rio: it's something she's gotta do, you know? Buster: Yeah Buster: At least she can't get pregnant Buster: Thank fuck for that Rio: I know Rio: The gays truly have that working in their favour Buster: And Indie's single now, right? Buster: I like our odds at keeping everyone out of too much shit Rio: Yeah Rio: Thank fuck again Rio: Bless 'em Rio: Heartbreak's a bitch Buster: Do I need to add him to my list of people to sort when I'm back home? Buster: 'Cause you know I will Rio: Stop being so hot Buster: If it matters to you then it matters to me Buster: We're a team, babe Rio: You're so daddy rn Rio: but seriously Rio: he's just a stupid kid, like a cunt but he didn't really do anything wrong you know Rio: it just weren't what she thought it would be Buster: Been there Buster: Not that I was ever leading girls on but you know Rio: It happens Buster: And sometimes being as honest as you've gotta fucks them over still Rio: Yeah, that's what I don't wanna ask her Rio: Sometimes you just want a thing a certain way, he might not have been selling it as that ever, idk Rio: like Nance really thinking her teach might be into it Buster: Yeah Buster: And my mum thinking I'm gonna wake up and realize I'm just not that into you Rio: Gotta get you worked up when she's in, clearly Rio: then she'd get it Buster: Probably not a good idea Buster: But I wouldn't be mad about it personally Rio: 😏 Buster: She's just obsessed with uni that's all Buster: Not like she can put pressure on Nance to go to Havard or Oxford or wherever so Rio: I'd get it more if I was stopping you from going, like Rio: show me where I said that Rio: I wouldn't Buster: She's losing her mind that I'm going to Trinity 'cause its not top for Law Buster: I've never cared about that Buster: I can succeed anywhere Buster: You're not the only 'distraction' she wants me to walk away from Chlo's kid too even if its also mine Buster: That's just how it is with her Rio: She knows it ain't that easy Rio: No offence but you wouldn't be here if it was that cut and dry Buster: Everything was a fight for her, it's easy for me so I have to do even better than she did Buster: Dad too Buster: Not make their 'mistakes' Rio: Damn Rio: does she realise how cold that sounds or? Buster: Have you met her? Buster: Babe she is cold Rio: Yeah but to say that to your face Rio: Jesus Buster: Maybe you don't get to go through all the shit she did and stay warm Buster: Or maybe that's just how she had to be to handle it, I don't know Rio: Probably Rio: I'm not trying to talk shit on her Rio: I just care about you too Buster: I know how it sounds, but it's not personal, she'd be like this if it was any other girl too Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: And like it or not, I'm her only living son so Buster: I'll thrive under the pressure like always Rio: I know you will baby Rio: but you're allowed to not be perfect when you're with me, you know that, yeah? Buster: Please, you know I am perfect Rio: Yeah Rio: even if you weren't, I'd still stay Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: Behave Rio: That's allowed too, like Buster: Shh Buster: You're so nice to me Buster: And so cute Rio: Because you're nice Buster: It's so weird sometimes Buster: Remember when we weren't Rio: I know Rio: even then though, I knew you weren't as bad as you were fronting Rio: 'cos know-it-all first and foremost Buster: 'Course Buster: You had me all figured out, didn't you, babe? Rio: What, you think you were such an enigma? 😉 Buster: Well, yeah Rio: Awh baby Rio: shoulda left you living that fantasy Buster: Nah Buster: I prefer this one we're in Rio: Got to agree Buster: Good Rio: Town is so busy tonight, only just got a cab Buster: Do I need to get a coffee, like? Rio: You can go to sleep baby Rio: don't stay up on my behalf Buster: I'm just playing Buster: It's okay Rio: Hate to be distracting, you know Buster: Obviously Buster: I'm always saying that about you Rio: So you should be Rio: Very serious about your education Rio: who taught you how to kiss, like Buster: Damn I should have led with that argument when I was chatting to mum Rio: Missed a trick Rio: Keep it PG though, she ain't need to know everything I taught you Buster: Not with my competitive streak 'cause I'd have to let her know I've taught you just as much Buster: A very unnecessary convo Rio: Truly Rio: but I'm enjoying reminiscing very much Buster: I'm glad I kissed you that day finally Buster: I'd wanted to for ages before it Rio: Good thing you got dared to then so you couldn't bottle it Rio: I can't even remember who dared you now Buster: That annoying fucker who was always hanging around us Buster: What the hell was his name even? Rio: Oh I know who you mean Buster: He so reckoned I wouldn't do it Buster: He only dared me 'cause he was too scared to tell you that he liked you himself Rio: Awh Rio: he was probably gutted Buster: An irresistible heartbreaker even then, babe Buster: I know he was gutted 'cause he stopped hanging around, remember? Rio: Now I feel bad Rio: Would track him down but like, not got good news for you lad Buster: What so you'd have rather kissed him? Buster: Rude Rio: Obviously not Rio: could be the one that got away though Buster: 😒 Buster: If you wanna go marry him, like Rio: I'm tryna facebook him but I really can't remember his name at all Rio: I keep thinking J something but maybe that's just 'cos he was a twat too like a certain someone Buster: We all called him that same nickname but I can't even remember that Buster: Unlucky for you Rio: I'm gutted, like Rio: You cockblocking me forever Buster: You will only go to gay club lately Buster: Can't blame me for that Rio: Yeah, know you wouldn't stand in the way of that, babe Buster: I'm considerate like that Rio: You're a pervert like that Rio: it's okay, save you from the male gaze rant/your sister Buster: Cheers Buster: I've already had some drunk texts from her Rio: Maybe she did go home alone after-all Rio: anything worth hearing? Buster: They're hard to read Buster: I honestly don't know how that girl understood enough to wanna hit her up way back when Rio: Not gonna go there, you'll only get grumpy Buster: What is that meant to mean? Rio: There's plenty of ways to get wanna fuck understood, like Rio: ☛👌 Buster: It's Nance I don't reckon she went about it like that Rio: You reckon she sent her a poem Rio: She didn't even like her, like Buster: Shut up Buster: She's so awkward she can't even order her own coffee if we go out to breakfast Rio: Yeah, not drunk Nance though Buster: I'll take your word for that 'cause all I've seen her do then is wanna fight me Rio: You know Buster: Did she even fuck that girl though? Like you're saying she could've all but sent her nudes but like Rio: Apparently so Buster: She told you that or are you using your skills? Rio: Yeah, she told me Buster: Alright Rio: I didn't ask if that was her first time but sad if it was because she wasn't into it Buster: It would've been I know that much about her life, like Rio: Oh, that's shit Buster: Like I said, I'm worried Buster: But she ain't gonna talk about this to me Rio: I can try again Buster: I don't know Buster: Like you said, it's sad Buster: Do we wanna go there? Rio: Yeah, she might not want to Rio: I'll keep an eye best I can and be there how she wants but you know Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry I didn't clock it Rio: I should've Buster: Don't Buster: You don't need to blame yourself for anything Buster: We don't even know the full story anyway, like Rio: Yeah Buster: Talk to her if it'll put your mind at ease Rio: I'm alright, just Rio: No one ever has a good time, you know Buster: Yeah Buster: Are we all cursed in this fam or what? Rio: I think it's weirdly standard, I don't know why Rio: impatience strikes again, probably Buster: True Buster: I know it did for me Buster: I had a good time until she dumped me after though Rio: Yeah Rio: Bit like Indie Rio: It's not the worst, I guess Buster: Had Indie not been with lads before him? Buster: I thought she had Rio: Not all the way Buster: I just assumed, I guess Buster: She's always got them around her, like Rio: Nah, those are just her mates Buster: Makes sense Rio: Yeah, she's not really one for other girl's company in general Buster: You'd never know it to see her with you Rio: Yeah well I'm great Buster: Obviously Buster: That's why I miss you so much Rio: Duh Buster: How far from home are you now? Rio: Not far now, promise Rio: 5 minutes Buster: I don't wanna go to sleep without seeing you Rio: I know baby, I can't do it either Buster: How did we ever? Rio: I've never slept well Buster: Me either, honestly Buster: It's hard to switch off Rio: Yeah Rio: Same Rio: I've never slept like I do when you're there Rio: not just because you've worn me out too Buster: If that worked I would have always slept well, like Buster: I used to drink and fuck so much Buster: It's always been different with you Buster: Remember when we fell asleep together before any of this Rio: Yeah Rio: Trying to look after me even then Buster: I've always tried to do that Buster: Wanted to Rio: I know Rio: even when I didn't appreciate it Buster: I behaved worse to you Buster: I don't know why you ever talked to me after some of the shit I said Buster: Well, I do, but Rio: You know, heard it all before Buster: Rio Rio: Hm? Buster: I hate that anyone has ever talked to you like that, me included Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Rio: Well, I don't care now Rio: it is what it is Rio: easy target Buster: I'm never gonna hurt you again, okay Buster: Or let anyone else either Rio: I believe you Buster: Good 'cause I mean it Rio: You didn't mean any of it, did you? Buster: Baby Buster: Of course not Rio: Okay Rio: Good Buster: Did you really think I ever did? Buster: Seriously Rio: I wouldn't blame you Buster: Fuck Rio: Don't Buster: I have to Rio: Forget about it Rio: you didn't mean it, it's fine Buster: No Rio: Babe Buster: What? Rio: Sorry Buster: Don't apologise Buster: I should be Rio: You have and it's okay Buster: It's not good enough Rio: I say it is Rio: but what do you want to do to make it okay then? Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: This is on me, not you Rio: No it isn't Rio: it's my bullshit Buster: I still have to own what I did and what I made you feel like Rio: It's not like this came from you, is it Buster: That doesn't mean I'm fucking excused, like Rio: You didn't mean it, you apologized Rio: I'm not asking for more Buster: You never do Rio: Are you judging me for that now? Buster: I'm not judging you for any of this Rio: Then accept my acceptance Buster: Fine Rio: I wish I'd not brought it up now Buster: You never wanna bring it up Buster: Have we even talked about any of this since you were high on Drew's mystery stash, like? Rio: Why would I want to? Rio: You wouldn't wanna sit here and talk about your flaws Buster: I'm not saying you have to Rio: Yes you are Buster: I was just asking the question, Christ Buster: Don't get mad at me Rio: Whatever, I want to drop it Buster: Like I said, fine Rio: It isn't fine if you're gonna be pissy is it Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm not pissy I'm upset that you're carrying this bullshit around with you Rio: We've all got our own shit Buster: Obviously Rio: Just please can we forget about it Rio: I'm home now Buster: I'm not trying to upset you that's literally the opposite of what I was trying to do Buster: So yeah if you want Rio: Just Rio: you can't fix everything for me, babe, especially not tonight Buster: I know Buster: I'm just tired, alright Buster: I'm being dramatic Rio: Just taking off my makeup and getting comfy then I'll call you Buster: You still want to? Rio: Of course Rio: don't you want me to Buster: Of course I do Buster: But I get if you're pissed off at me Rio: Shh Rio: I'm not Rio: You're only trying to be gentlemanly and noble, as per, I'm not mad at you Rio: just myself Buster: I don't want you to be mad at yourself either though Rio: That's okay, I'll feel better when we snuggle Buster: I love you, Rio Buster: I'll be less of an annoying prick when we're together again Buster: I swear Rio: I feel it Rio: There'll be no room for miscommunication Buster: I'll do my best to make sure its hard for you to talk Rio: Promises promises Buster: You can hold me to it Buster: You know I really wanna hold you Rio: I know Rio: I want that so bad Rio: you make me feel so safe Buster: Soon Buster: I'm gonna look after you, baby Rio: You always do Buster: I try anyway Rio: You do Rio: Don't question it Buster: Okay Rio: Promise? Buster: I promise Buster: I believe you Rio: Good Rio: Okay, I'm in bed Buster: Good Buster: Call me Rio: 🧡

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ts-seychelles · 5 years

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EP 6. - “Eh, Maybe Some Decaf Tea” - DAN

Creating my first alliance with asya and vilma? legend status planning to get augusto to make one between myself dan vilma and him? also legend status. Get me IN with that social positioning mama. If I'm not going to tribal I gotta do SOMETHING

(A LITTLE LATER)

I feel I should write a semi serious long confessional about losing Zach, but I'm absolutely shook. I was FaceTiming Joanna during the tribal council, and I was actually baffled. I know he played a little hard, made lots of alliances with people and was really going after it, but I'd figure that something else would go down with that tribal council........ idk. Something about what happened last night makes me feel unsafe in the game, and I don't know how to respond to it. Ricky, the night before tribal, was the one who spilled all the tea about Zach, which I just didn't know completely about until Ricky told me, but more importantly, all of this about Zach showed me that I'm really not as "in" with the OG Lazare as I thought I was. Not knowing any of this information about Zach, me not knowing that other people knew about the 6 person alliance that Zach tried to form.... it just makes me feel out of it The good thing is that I'm very much working on my relationships with the people from the original Lazare that are currently on my tribe, and honestly, if that other tribe gets rid of people like Roxy or Ruben next, then maybe my game can restart with brand new relationships at the merge. I figure if people knew this much about Zach, they probably knew about my relation to him, and how involved I was in his game. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me, but for now, just gotta keep working my relationships in my tribe and hope that I can make it to the merge and MAYBE find another idol lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAWPhD1I1o

So Johnny and I have been on the same tribe for forever now. To think he called me boring last org oof. I swear I'm not boring, I just didn't want to take you to the end that game >.> I'll try this time as long as you don't fuck me over sngkfdbnhgjh. Also I fucking hate winterbell and everything about it. Orsinwhateverthefuck sucks

i completely forget to submit for the reward challenge like a dumbass, BUT ITS OK BECUASE WE STILL WON. this next challenge makes me worried though because it is literally based off luck lmao kill my ass

I don’t have anything to say bitch. i got the idol clue rip. that’s IT. thanks for sponsoring me, dr. pepper!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBxuZVACfac

So we're going to tribal tonight, which means for the first time in 22 days..... I am actually going to tribal vnfjkdlsnvjdfklnvjlkdfnjklvndfjklvndf I have a lot of thoughts going into tonight, specifically the fact that I wanted to make a move on Ricky, but also Dan kinda fucked it all up kjvnldfnsjklvndfjklvf Dan, Ricky and I have a chat from the people who competed in jeopardy, and as cliche as it is, we decided that the three of us should work together. Also while this was all happening, Dan and Augusto BOTH previously, before we lost, spoke to me about "splitting up" Asya and Ricky because they were apparently in an alliance with Roxy or Nicole or something like that, and Nicole told Vilma, and Vilma told Augusto, and now Augusto told me........ and here we are. They wanna split it up, and honestly I'm all for it. I don't want to keep around a lot of Lazare people because I felt pretty uncomfortable on that tribe with my social positioning, and even though I was in an alliance with Zach, Ruben and Roxy, it still feels idk. The BIG thing that I was coming around to was the fact that Dan TOLD Ricky in our jeopardy chat that Augusto wanted to separate Ricky and Asya, and that just made me so...... hmph annoyed? at Dan. I feel that wasn't a smart move, and when you've got information, you've just gotta hold it close to your chest and talk to the people who ALSO know about that information, and Dan just kinda threw Augusto under the bus, who REALLY wanted to work with him, and now Ricky is losing any potential trust in Augusto and idrk what to do about it. It's messy, but no one REALLY knows that all of this messiness is happening except for Dan, Ricky and myself because of the jeopardy chat, whomever they told (Ricky probably told Asya), and then I told Vilma bc I trusted her and wanted her to be on the same page as me. My gut is telling me that Augusto is going to be fine, and that Vi is likely going to be the one going home, but it's definitely going to get crazy if this tribe goes to tribal again, and we may have to see the tribe implode between Augusto vs Ricky/Asya vs Dan for exploiting all the information. It could get nuts. Honestly though? Keeping the problematic people around to make me blend in more and have to worry about getting voted out less and less? I'll take it. I'm actually trying to be so non threatening this time it hurts, and I'm hoping I'm accomplishing that for now? i'm sure once we get to merge things will change teehee

(A LITTLE LATER)

OH ALSO Vilma found the idol and I'm kinda pissed bc I was SO CLOSE to finding it before her, but she beat me to it. it was her idol clue, so she deserves it, but she told Me AND Asya........... and idk if you should tell Asya that information, especially because she is kinda rogue sometimes, and the less people knowing the better, BUT nothing bonds an alliance together like that kinda information, so it turns out the Power Bottoms (newly formed alliance between Vilma, Asya and myself) is going to go SWIMMINGLY

Hello 👋🏻 My name is Pastor Nicole and I am here to share with you this most important confessional Okay anyway I’m in a better mood today than most of my past confessionals so, enjoy that much. Things have been going well. I’m pretty sure Ruben got some cracked ass shit at Ghost Island and is just itching to use it. But, we won so he can’t ha HA ha. Anyway being on a tribe with my boyfriend started out kind of rocky since I’m kind of the stubborn one in our relationship but in this game Jared knows more about things so like....it’s been a bit tough for me to follow directions of a man! That’s not my style. But it is...what will probably get us both to the end of this game, if anything. Because I really don’t know that much about survivor and my strategy of kind of flopping until I need to backstab, just isn’t gonna work when we together are this big of a threat. So, I gotta like loosen the reigns and let him guide the horse ya know. But trust and believe in the words of Little Mix, “I’ll let you come take the wheel long as you don’t forget I got the power.” Which I’m sure is about sex but, I’m ....strictly talking about the game I swear. Anyway besides that I’ve got some fun alliances going and my little legacy thing, it’s cute. I’ll talk more about that later (which is always what I say in these because giving too much information is also, not my style.)

https://youtu.be/NDzub2LkO1k

Tonight it seems like we are voting Vi. Agustuo wanted me to vote Ricky or Asya because they are a big duo but I told him that they don't really seem to be bothering anyone right now. As far as I know Ricky hates everyone lmaooo. It also might be a good idea to get as many people from the other side to the OG Malabar tribe, because we seem to be sticking together pretty well.

So fun fact Ruben is trying to get me and jg to turn against Nicole and Jared. And idk who to believe about all this. Like who actually has my back outside of JG. And like Roxy and Ruben say they have ours but do they

So do I have tea? Eh, maybe some decaf tea. Me, Johnny, and Ricky are basically an alliance, with Asya on the side (idk if she knows that or not but whatevs). Augusto thinks him and I are close. He disclosed he wanted to go for Ricky or Asya, I went to Ricky and told him. Augusto tried to rally Ashen, who wasnt into it tbh, and now Augusto looks dumb lol The plan as of right now is for Vi to get the chop. Will it happen? Sis I hope so. She’s just bland and doesn’t talk to anyone, so people can’t justify making a move against Ricky because Vi is basically dead. I had a Thats So Raven moment in the car today when i was thinking about this game. I was thinking about how sickening a merge at 11 would be with me, Johnny, Jared, Nicole, Asya, and Ricky being the majority alliance. Then I thought about a me, Nicole, and Asya black widow final three where we vote out all of our men at f6 so that the three of us can get to the end. How sickening. We all have a guaranteed jury vote and we all look pretty.

Alright so I somehow managed to survive my first tribal back at Lazare and I highkey feel bad about it, but I'm still here so I am trying to take everything out of this second chance. I definitely feel like my odds of winning are close to zero especially after everything that went down, but close to zero is still better than zero, right?? Oh, and I found an idol too, WHAT???? This is the first time I've had an idol in an org and I don't know what to think about that. I got lucky with the reward and received a clue that was really helpful. I might have made a big mistake telling Johnny an Asya about the clue in our alliance chat because in the end I would have found the idol without their help and since I told about the clue I was pretty much forced to reveal that I had found the idol as well. I feel like I'm going to become a big target soon and everyone is going to know about the idol. Our new tribe managed to win the first challenge, but the second one came down to luck and we were unlucky so yay, tribal awaits! Although everyone seems to be in agreement to vote out Vi tonight since she's been a bit busy and inactive and hasn't talked to people a lot. I'm definitely okay with that, I always enjoy a nice unanimous vote haha. Johnny told me that Augusto had tossed out the idea to vote out Ricky to split up Asya/Ricky who seem to be friends, and Dan later confirmed this was true. But right now it seems that people have settled on Vi and I'm honestly happy about that because 1) I would feel bad voting out an active player over an inactive and 2) Asya knows about my idol so I don't want to blindside her anytime soon. Other than that I'm not entirely sure where my loyalties lie at the moment but I'm sure it's going to become clear if we end up having to go to tribal again. Of course there's always a chance that everyone's bullshitting me and I'm getting blindsided later tonight, but I find it pretty unlikely that NO ONE of our tribe of 8 would let me know about that... So I am probably going to try and get some sleep now, and unfortunately miss tonight's tribal. I need to sleep after all these sleepless nights okay.

https://youtu.be/4Vgxagy6pjY

#itsgametimekids

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

Text

Episode #11: "okay so heres the tea mawmaw henny... anyways" - Bryce

I guess i wasnt right to be paranoid but doesnt feel good knowing your name was used as a fake target. I really want to win the next immunity but idk. Hopefully i can do well.

nick tried super hard that tribal i got a tiny bit nervous but i'm glad that things seem to be going pretty well and working themselves out with nathan brian and sharky but i feel like nathan's gonna be pretty upset with me after the season :(

Welp I blew another challenge. Good times. Hopefully Nathan won't win because I want him out next. Ideal boot order for me going forward is Nathan, Bryce, Maynor, Matt, Anna. So we'll see how this challenge shakes out and then I can create some beautiful mastermind plot to send his ass home. Tbh he's just gotten too shady. It seems like every round it gets back to me that Nathan has been working some plan that he never told me about. And Nick was always the leak so with him gone Idk how I can trust Nathan anymore. But I feel solid with The FB Bois and with Brian's steal a vote in his pocket we should be able to control the majority from here on out. There's a lot of "hopefully"s in my head right now.

The challenge didn't go so well because I was sleep deprived and reaction time was slow. I don't think Im going to win. It is crazy though that it is the Final 7 already. Im closely working with Nathan in this game. I would totally go to the end with him. This is where we can make a move to keep the majority. Nathan says he is able to get Annabelle's vote and I think I can get Bryce's vote which means that's 4 and enough to send either Matt, Sharky, or Brian home. It sucks cuz I'm also working with Sharky and Brian but both haven't really talked game game to me. They have told me the vote but not really strategy talk. So I feel like I rather side with Nathan, who actually talks to me about strategy. We have to wait and see who wins immunity to really make a plan for tribal.

i really wanted to uh win immunity but JKFASKJ guess thats never gonna happen. i was like how can anyone flop at this simon says game and well. love simon outsold... i want to get annabelle out this round but now it can be hard without the blanket of protection that immunity brings what if it backfires. we still have brians steal a vote tho so thats 3 votes and we'd only need one more barring another idol. speaking of idols i still have NOTHING.

Okay now I'm starting to feel a little guilty. Nathan just came to me stressing. He's never made it this far and he feels like he's so close but he's feeling the pressure to build his resume. I get all of those feelings. And I know if I'm the one to betray him and ruin his streak I stand no chance of getting his jury vote. I'm feeling so conflicted. Nathan is a threat and I can't trust him. But I finally understand why he's been such a mess throughout the merge. What do I do?

So remember how I said I felt bad for Nathan? OVER IT. So I wanted to vote him out this go around. But then I was unsure. And I told him it would be easiest to just vote Bryce. AND HE TOLD BRYCE. I'm over it. he's doing literally too much. He's never made it this far and it shows. Like scrambling and betraying your allies who had your back and EVEN FORGAVE YOU WHEN YOU LIED TO US. Like It's not cute.

ok so heres the tea mawmaw henny. ... anyways i um love stream of consciousness writing NNN so sharky doesnt trust me and wants me out but like everyone tells me why doesnt he trust me ive been nothing but honest anyways gays cant be trusted. but maynor sharky and anna wanna vote matt. and matt wants to vote maynor/anna and i wanna vote anna with brian so idk im just scared that if we use brians vote steal we'll be in danger at f6 maybe voting matt is smarter like if they just voted sharky id be down but i dont want to go into f6 with sharky AND nathan/anna

So I forgot to vote last round before I literally passed the fuck out after work... how sad! Nick still did go, just like I had worked on... But I'm OK again because I won immunity //again// (a physical threat...) so therefore I'm safe for yet another round. It's worrying because if I ever lose I become a huge target for the vote, and I think this round is very risky bisky.... but it'll also finally draw the final lines in the sand with people I want to go to the end with.

I've decided that Nathan's messiness and choice in allies is what strays me away from him. I love Annabelle, but her relationship with Sharky is what deters me from going further with her. I like Maynor, but his sketchiness during every tribal is what deters me from going further with him. If Nathan got over his obsession with voting for Matt... Every. Single. Round... then maybe I'd feel better about this all. If he threw out Sharky, then whew, let's do it! Nathan is one of my favorite people ever, and he's so enjoyable to talk to... his big ass heart is what's making me feel so fucking bad about this decision, but I think it's what's best for me.

At the moment, I'm seeing a very iffy chance at winning come final tribal time, but I still have a fighting spirit to get there and to dominate final tribal. I'm just worried about losing all respect from people like Nathan, Sharky, and Annabelle when I vote them out. I know it's very plausible, so I have to start planning around that. I have to be able to manage talking about a dominating game and also owning up to being shitty from time to time.

Ideally, I'll be sitting in final 4 with Bryce, Matt, and someone else (it's between Maynor and Nathan/Annabelle). I know Sharky has to go, but I also have to be ready to work around him making finals with me. Final 3 situation ideally would be with Matt and Bryce and then final 2 with whomever I see it easier to beat. And that's all the tea I have for now.

To have tied in the immunity record and also be confirmed top 6... I'm so proud of myself and what I have done given all the time restraints I've had in this game so far. It's impressive, if I do say so myself. I really hope I can make people proud of me... and even if I go in 6th, I know I did the damnest fucking thing and fought my ass off.

Annajane, Matty, Jack, Jones, and Drew..., thank you for believing in me enough to cast me for this season. I hope I don't let you guys down and haven't yet.

Marie, I hope I'm making you proud by still being here!! I'm trying really hard every day to ensure one of us could do the damn thing.

Zacky, Tobi, Loris, Scott, Justin... and to really anyone out there rooting for me... thank you! I may not know everyone who is rooting for me, but I really appreciate any support you've given me this season!!

So I think this vote might be the breaking point for me and Annabelle. If we're really coming after Nathan I can't tell her. I also told her that Matt's idol was the merge idol which isn't true. But the fact that she asked makes me think she doesn't know another idol is out there. Which is a great sign. I feel bad but I'm worried if she has to choose between me and Nathan she may choose Nathan. Ugh

God I am SO over these people! Like i seem to be the perpetual target every single round! And it is quite demoralising tbh. I seem to be the easy target cause Brian has immunity and Sharky has got close with Annabelle. and we 3 are a "trio!!!" who apparently need breaking up, even though nathan really needs to like fuck off out of here. I appreciate how hard the man is playing but he's just coming off as a dick now. As he has said, he wants to basically be fuck buddies with Brian to the end, which is not a cute look for him, riding Brians coat tails to the end where he will clearly be beaten. I am just SO over it. At least I _should_ be safe (and should is the correct term here) cause we will have bryce with us hopefully going into this vote but if i leave, i leave. I just want these people gone so I can have a stress free game for ONCE. Like please just fuck off out of here and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.

ok so idk whats going to happen sharky threw my name out but now says he didnt and since i want him to vote with me i just say oh ya ofc i believe u. like i want anna out but sharky/matt wants nathan and maynor/anna/nathan want matt. what about what *i* want...

Today is the day where Nathan and I take majority with Bryce and Annabelle anf get rid of Matt or our plans come crashing down in flames. Either way we are making a move. I just hope we prevail and things go our way and our plan doesnt leak.

brian is amazing i need another immunity win so we can just have ari stans only winning immunities. i'm nervous because like this tribal is like anyone can really go the next few rounds but i feel like people still don't think i'm a threat but idk we'll see this game is really like i'm not sure.

So now Matt is pitching Maynor because we couldn't choose between Anna and Nathan. But they still want to keep it a secret. And that's a terrible idea. We're going to do all this lying and plotting and then vote out the smallest threat. That's a wasted opportunity. I could get behind voting for Maynor but I'm not going to lie to Anna to do it. Plus they want to do it for fear of advantages but like...if Anna or Nathan have anything they'll definitely use it at F6 if we lie to them about the vote. We're overcomplicating this.

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ok so like im gone.. idk its so hard to know whos telling the truth. what if sharky leaks to anna i want her out. like anna/maynor/nathan SHOULD be doing matt which means that like as long as me and brian vote together ill at most have 2 votes against me so maybe 3-2-2 but i really trust matt so i feel like he'll vote with us. i really dont wanna vote nathan out when anna is still here... bc she'll go to sharky so quick and take maynor with her. im trying to think of damage control if things do go bad ill just have to tell nathan i wanted anna out bc i thought he was closer to her than me and then maynor idk what to say NNNN... also sharky made an alliance with me matt brian and him but didnt tell me before hand lol love that.. i feel like the abi maria of the season idk why... or like the gabby who doesnt get her way AJSDHFKJA so sad... anyway im a goner :(

It looks like Brian, Matt, and Sharky are voting Bryce. While they think Bryce will vote Sharky. Me, Nathan, Annabelle, and Bryce are doing Matt which will suprise them. I think imma have to do lots of damage control with Brian and Sharky cuz last time I voted differently than they did, Sharky was fine since it wasnt him but Brian was made he was lied to. So like oopsie. But hey its the game of survivor and sometimes you have to lie who ur voting for.

Okay so...I amde a questionable choice...a VERY questionable choice. I told Annabelle everything (almost). She came to me and confessed the Matt plan because she didn't want me to be blindsided. Which verified all me feeling about fighting to save her. So I told her the truth (almost). I said Bryce leaked all of that info to us. I told her the 4 of us came together. I didn't tell her we named it the Fajita Fellas. That's just for us. But then I told her that I had protected her and got the vote on Maynor. Now if there is an idol played it will be on Maynor and Nathan will still go home. I'll send her a PM during the voting and be like SOS it's switching to Nathan. That way I cover my ass. Now I'm just trying to calm Brian down because he is ANXIOUS. Can people just chill out

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Nathan is voted out 4-3.

#episode #allmadhere

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