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#this is one of the big reason i just really dont talk much about my job on here
imwetforyourmom · 1 day
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yall we hit the big 1000 😧‼️‼️
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ok, im not one for any sappy shit or anything but I genuinely dont think I’d be where I am today without any of you guys. if I werent to be writing and talking to all of my favorite people I dont think I’d be in a great place.
I fucking love knowing that I have a thousand people here for me to comfort me, to support me and to always be here for me whenever I need it. i love knowing that I have a thousand friends with me whenever.
its so comforting because I know I have all of you when im feeling down or lonely. ive had really bad social anxiety majority of my life and havent had any good luck with friends, so knowing that I have a thousand people that look forward to me doing anything and that I have a thousand friends or a thousand people who went out of their way in their day to read my stories, to like them and follow me. I love knowing that you did that out of your own will and because you genuinely like me. I like knowing that I dont have to worry about being lonely or disliked or anything along the lines of that because i know I can always come to one of you
being here today, with all of these people reminds me just how adored/liked or loved I am just because of one of my hobbies. you guys like my writing, some of you even adore it, and knowing that I didnt force any of this makes everything so much better. I wouldnt be here today, where I am, how happy I am without any of you and I fucking adore that. without you guys I dont think I’d be as productive as I am, I dont think I wouldve ever pursued my writing, I dont think I wouldve ever tried writing. so knowing that each and every one of you helped me find the thing I enjoy most is so admirable, its amazing and I cannot thank any of you enough.
to the one whos been here since the start @luverboychris, you’re one of the only reasons im still as happy as I am today, you’re one of my bestfriends and I love you so fucking much. you’re the only reason I started writing on tumblr and you’re one of my favorite people 🫶🫶
to the one whos recently become my bestfriend @lovesodakid, I wouldnt have had as many laughs without you. you’re the funniest person ive ever met and im so grateful I can speak my true opinion without you judging me
to the one whos literally my favorite nick girl @nickgetsmewetter and one of the people I look up to, you’re a reason im excited to go onto tumblr everyday
to my idols, who inspired me to write and the reason I continue writing today @luverboychris, @hysteria-things and @worldlxvlys, you guys are literally one of the reasons I write today and continue to write
again, to @worldlxvlys, anytime im upset or feeling down I always go to your stories and read them. you’re one of my favorite creators on this app
im so fuckung grateful for each and every single one of you ❤️❤️
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heedra · 1 month
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the longer i work as a child educator the more i strongly feel like it's really just awful practice to post specific anecdotes about the children you work with to social media. not only out of respect for children's privacy but also because i think that it's just really not good to tie your mindset when observing your kids to a mindset of looking for content to post about. if that makes sense.
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piosplayhouse · 2 years
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Not going to get involved in the ao3 politics shit but I just want to say after reading some of the top posts on this site I can tell most of the people talking about this subject very clearly did not experience Sexytimes With Wangxian
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anothermouse · 1 year
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I find it weird how ppl will say for reasons that systems are fake is that multiple alters talk similar or have similar interests. Have u ever met siblings. They talk similar and have similar interests because they've spent years together ya dork, as systems start to get along more they're gonna start sharing more interests and speech patterns just like you with people you spend a lot of time with lol. Also they all share a life, they have to be able to act like each other to get by and seem "normal."
#this isnt directed ive just noticed that me and willow steal each others interests a lot and its making me think abt all the ppl ive seen#using that reasoning in fake claiming. me and her dont really talk similar but i can imagine that happening with systems who#talk to each other or mask as each other more.#idk. its to our best interest to share skills and interests. if only one person likes/knows writing then we have a problem when we need to#write and they're not present. if only one person likes/knows guitar we're in big trouble in guitar class if they're not present.#and we NEED to get along to operate so its good for us to have things to bond over! we used to argue a lot and it was fucking annoying and#made life hard. i couldnt take care of the body and willow was depressed and it made the brain miserable and it sucked#so the more we can get along the better and i think having things in common is good for that!#like i said we dont really talk the same and for us that works just fine but for some systems that could create communication barriers.#idk. i just think ppl should think a little more about why alters might become similar over time. me and my cohost r literally like family#system#osdd#did#multiple#plural#edit: actually maybe i do pick up speech from her. she says 'my friend' a lot and sometimes im tempted to say it cus its nice#but i feel like it sounds weirder coming from me 😅#OH AND LOVELY. she uses the word lovely so much ive just picked it up. its such a good adjective#idk why usually you expect the host to be the one whos language people copy but i feel like i pick up things from willow more than she does#from me.
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy
#Yakzua loveblog#im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything#in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway#my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives#i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his#deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for#thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called#they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other#for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its#never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens#section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like#theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat#while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism#like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he#said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing#with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his#little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone#anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he#was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying#colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity#from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis#like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen#like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik#was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and#he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you#nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic#okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare#oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans
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one of the bad things about having such low social energy/social anhedonia/little interest in interacting with others in any capacity/ Hermit Disease™ is that like.. once every FIVE months here and there I’ll get fleeting bursts of social energy and will message one or two people to catch up with old friends or etc. and then it’s like... 
tfw you message someone and then wake up the next morning to see that they REPLIED to your message so now you’re actually supposed to message them back, which is an obligation you were somehow not expecting despite the fact that YOU sent them a message 
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#I feel bad because it's like.. I know I WAS THE ONE who reached out to you but also I have depleted all of my energy stores and have like no#capacity to respond that this point.. Which usually I'll get to it in like 2-7 days and people who know me (people who I would actually#message) know this/are aware it doesn't mean anything/are okay with it so its not really a big deal but still lol#girls and squirrels i am so sorry i dont know what to tell you but I have Disorders gjhgbhj#oh same thing when someone messages me and then I respond and I'm like 'whew finally got that off the to do list! now I dont have to worry#about social interactions for the next few days' and they RESPOND to my RESPONSE within like 30 minutes of sending it#so now I'm back at the point where I owe them a response even though i JUST crossed that off my to do list ghbh#And there's some people out here who are like 'omg.. if people don't text me back in 30 minutes then they must hate me! i want to be texted#back immediately. true friends will drop everything theyre doing just to text you!! >:T' whereas I'm like#god if I reply to you and you reply back to me within less than 24 hours I'm going to scream... just give it a good 2 or 3 days.. let the#message sit PLEASE.. it's social buffer time.. let's recharge our energy... the the conov age like a fine wine#(unless it's urgent. obv if we're coordinating plans or scheduling something we both must reply promptly exactly)#AND ALS THIS IS just a caveat of text communication like I HATE text communication. another reason it's SO hard to find new friends is that#nobody wants to just talk on the phone/discord voice chat/Some Medium Of Real Time Audio Communication anymore#everyone is like.. 'oh just send short little messages through a stupid fucking chat client or text me or message me on a social media' and#it's like.................................... no........ i dont think I will#Real time communication is SO MUCH faster and more efficient like. It would take me 2 hours to type something that I could say in a 30 minut#e conversation. People who I have genuine conversations with (like 5 hour long talks) are the ones who are not afraid to just be like#'yeah i have somehting I want to talk to you about. can we schedule a phone call thursday at 10:30am?'#also like.. if you text me at 3pm I am not going to respond to the message (depending on the contents-obv will reply sooner if#urgent) probably until 3 or 4 days later. If you call me at 3pm then we're talking at 3pm for as long as you want (or as long as is practica#l - also assuming I'm not already in the middle of something etc. etc.)#Like phone calls/voice calls/whatever - are so good because it's immediate. no having to go through and spell check. I am also a rambling pe#rson with complicated thoughts and i AM INCAPABLE of having short conversations. no matter how hard I try#you send me a sentence of text and I will write back 3 paragraphs. this makes text-form communication THAT much more taxing and time consumi#ng  - whereas I can explain even really complicated things in Real time in like 20 minutes MAX when it would take 1.5hr to type and proofrea#d and etc. in text. ALSO I love that it is a Structured ONE TIME interaction. I know eactly when a phone call will start and can plan for#when it will end. Text form communications are ongoing background interactions with no clear start or end. no structure. etc.#in person/phone/real time communication is just SO much easier for my brain to process and depletes my social energy slower#. it stinks that the entire earth is slowly moving away from the only form of social interaction that is convenient to me lol.. BUT ANYWAY
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orcelito · 1 year
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currently wondering whether collecting my blades for a group pic would be bad for my tenuous mental health atm
#speculation nation#i was trying to list out all my blades but i have far too many to reasonably do that way#so the natural next step would be to collect them all up for a pic#i havent done that in a while. now is probably not a good time.#like!!!!!!!!!! it's not like i'd be scared of hurting myself on them or anything#my knives are a solid for Cool Factor or Practical Use only. not for bad mental health times#but having a bunch of blades before me might not be the best plan#..but also. also. i kinda really wanna collect all my babies in one place#i dont even know how many i have. i have way too many & it's been several years since ive done a group count#/ picture. and this time i will TRY to not drop my machete on my finger#still sometimes astounded that i managed to drop my machete on my finger point-first and somehow did NOT take a finger off#i was very very lucky it hit the bone rather than the joint. hurt like a bitch and left a scar but couldve been Much worse#uhm. i learned from it though! no more big machete in unidentified boxes#oh yea i forgot my machete is still located in my bed frame. im so used to it i forget i literally sleep next to a machete every night#a naked blade as long as my leg. but i keep it wrapped up with the blade Down so no injuries have occurred!#........ when i talk about this shit like this it makes me astounded no one's tried to stage an intervention#ive only gotten lil knicks from my stupidity so i guess ppl have decided im not That much of a hazard to myself#the machete in the bedframe is just from paranoia anyways. just like my axe on the display case#oh fuck i forgot i own an axe. and a spear. and several swords.#and a CANE SWORD and a fuck ton of pocket knives. guys i own a lot of blades.#this is not stopping my wish to gather them up for a group picture. it's been so long i have forgotten most of what i own. help
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robitherat · 1 year
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Finally actually talked to my mom abt how I think I'm autistic and it went better than I expected so yay 4 me
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talkorsomething · 1 month
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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beatcroc · 5 months
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you ever think about how gerome and fake pep are the only two guys who really only ever knew the tower as their home? i do
lots of fp text in this one so full un-ciphered script is going under cut below. [mostly just a bunch of headcanon nonsense about his whole Situation in the tower :p] [there is also a second bonus after because i am insufferable] anyway,
bonus:
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hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome]<- u are here [noisette again]
gerome: i say there monstrosity! do you know the times? fp: …? gerome: haha! just an old joke, lad. gerome: but seriously, i never saw you around the tower much. what's your deal? fp: ... fp: 👈 ?? gerome: yes you! you never struck me as just some hired goon like the rest. fp: i… i don't really know. gerome: oh come now, you needn't be modest. fp: i'm not! i- [fp takes a seat] fp: they…. didn't tell me much. the…the lab. you know it? gerome: i'd pass though, now and again. fp: i was there for awhile, with lots of other copies gerome: oh, you knew the other clones? what were they like? fp: nutritious. gerome: ah. fp: they-the tall one- moved me to….「bruno's」 later. gerome: tall one… you mean pizzahead? fp: uh….right.「pizzahead」 …started changing it. kept changing it. i think i was waiting for something. waiting… to open? but he told me to keep-stay in there. to guard it. was there…longer than the labs but we never got to finish…. but i think we were close. But then「pep- pep: woah. never seen him this chatty gerome: just have to ask the right questions, i suppose pep: I mean, sure but-- wait, you can understand him??? gerome: it's only natural, after all, he is at least in part- part of the tower; made from its power and resources, and so connected with my brother...and to some extent, myself. his speech resonates with the old echoes through its chambers, and while i may not be as omniscient, it has no secrets that would fully elude me. pep: ...uh. ok, sure. what's he saying? fp: ..! fp: XXX! gerome: ah…. seems he's a bit embarrassed. pep: aw. er…look, it may not be my business, but whatever happened in the tower is behind us now, yeah? i know i sure try to forget it too fp: 😬 fp: ...😓👍 [fp turns back to gerome] fp: ............i wasn’t done gerome: he wasn't done. fp: yeah. then 「peppino」 came through. you probably know. hard to miss him. gerome: heh, I'll say. fp: We fought, I stayed…. didn't know anything else until 「pizzahead」grabbed me. fighting more on the roof... fp: You know the rest? you ran out with us... gerome: mhm fp: And… now we’re here. gerome: now we’re here… fp: ...that's all i had. so..... i still don't really know. sorry... gerome: ah, don't be. that's just how it goes, i guess. not much that can be done now... gerome: i suppose we both left some things behind in that tower. i certainly know it can be daunting to leave the fold of familiarity. gerome: but, for what it's worth...i think it’s for the better things worked out for us as they did. fp: yeah…
bonus! 2!!
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#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gerome#pillar john#pizzaposting#man. there was a lot of really specific shit i wanted to say in this one that i dont think i communicated very clearly at all#its fine though i dont think the ambiguity is necessarily a bad thing. he sure is feeling something and its on you to figure out what#i was picking up on a couple different reads as i went and i don't think any of them are really 'wrong' per se#but also there Is technically a 'correct' one which i will certainly ramble abt if someone asks <:3c#anyway i kinda scrapped that longer angsty comic with the bros so this is my main pillar bros propaganda post now i guess#begging and crying people to care abt & include them etc#now to be clear i dont think gerome has like. never been anywhere else or anything#i think he and john could p much travel freely before the whole pizzahead takeover#but after that happened john was confined to the tower and gerome just wound up staying in there all the time to help take care of him#so it's been a bit since gerome truly Ventured:tm:#fake pep on the other hand i straight up do not think had ever set foot outside the tower until postgame#so. yeah the tower was a pretty big and fundamental deal for these guys' sense of security.#and now that it's gone i think they should be friends about it#and also more generally i think gerome is a great confidant for fp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [!!!]#besides the whole 'can actually understand him' thing gerome is just a cool & chill lil dude to talk to#no shade to peppino ofc he's a decent enough role model and tries his best to understand despite the barriers. but like. yknow.#he is also very reactive. and intimidating. and bad at handling emotions.#and you knooooowwww he is not going to want to talk about tower shit specifically for a variety of reasons#i think gerome enjoys fp's perspective on tower stuff though.#rem and i were bouncing off eachother wrt the tower and cloning and all the natural john duplicates/bodies#fp is not the natural 'subject' for the tower's processes but he a product of its nature just as much as any john#so i am thinking. maybe gerome also considers fp family. i think that would be nice.#aahhhhh...something about bridges. something about liminality.#you can take the beast out of the tower but you can't take the tower out of the beast
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mbat · 7 months
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this is completely out of nowhere but i keep remembering my encanto fic and how much i loved writing it and how fun it was but then stuff kept happening and it got stressful until i straight up just stopped working on it despite having planned out the rest of the fic
and how it was almost a 100k word long project! i mean, what!
but i think what hurt really is how much i loved it and the effort and time i put into it, but how pretty much no one read it or any of that
and its like, no one is obligated to, and hey, its not like i was writing a masterpiece or whatever, but it still hurts. and sometimes i just wonder if i wouldve been able to finish it had it had more interaction. just makes me sad, really.
when i first started it, it was everything to me! i was in the midst of a fixation, my passion was through the roof! inspiration and ideas were everywhere, the doc i made of all the plans and stuff was like 11k words long, and thats not mentioning how many images i saved to it
i just never really finish things, especially not projects so big, and i know i had it in me to, but it just feels hard to want to do anything when no one cares, idk. sometimes i wish i could just open google docs and finish the thing already, but thats not exactly as easy as said lol
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tgcg · 4 months
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bad mouther, hole master
TG: kissing with tongue is gross as hell
CG: COME THE FUCK OFF IT.
TG: what
CG: I'M SAYING SHUT UP.
TG: oh
CG: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD. IT'S LIKE THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF REGULAR KISSING TO EVENTUALLY INCLUDE THAT. IF YOU HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE GHOSTING THROUGH THE DEVOLVING REMNANTS OF YOUR THINKPAN YOU'D APPRECIATE WHAT IT BRINGS TO THE NUTRITION PLATFORM OF ANY CONSENTING CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIP!
TG: youre talking about it like its a goddamn military weapon or some shit
TG: some kinda scientific fuckin method to fondle a dudes mouth with your own mouth thats
TG: thats gross
TG: this isnt supposed to be a debate before fuckin congress on the pros and cons of getting your mack on
TG: its i would say a reasonably personal thing to react about and thats just my reaction man you dont gotta arbitrate it
TG: and like why the hell do they have to linger on it so long in these movies do they really want me to immerse myself in people necking each other that much
TG: roll the sounds around in my earholes like im swilling a fine fuckin wine
TG: well my professional opinion is that shit tastes and sounds mad gross and tbh i havent seen a single movie where it was close to being any kind of necessary
TG: its just a cringy waste of everyones time
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE GASH, YOU LUMP OF TIGHT-LIPPED CLUELESSNESS.
TG: did you just homestar me
CG: FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, SINCE YOU'RE APPARENTLY DESPERATE TO START SHIT WITH ME RIGHT NOW: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN DONE IT?
TG: hell no
CG: THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT.
TG: proving your point--
TG: bro have uh
TG: have YOU???
CG: EXCUSE ME? HAVE I WHAT?
TG: come on
TG: i walked into this stupid conversation with a fucking shovel and by god am i digging myself a damn hole big and wide enough for every dave across time to squeeze in so i might as well get cosy in this shit before we all start collectively shoving dirt in our mouths
TG: bet your ass im taking you down with me though
TG: grab your spade and get digging man
CG: GRAB MY WHAT????????
TG: just tell me
CG: ???????!!!!!!!!
TG: karkat
CG: NO!
TG: f-
CG: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! WHAT PART OF "SHUT UP" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????
TG: wait no
TG: oh my god dude
TG: you can spin that shit all you want but you can do it the hell away from me
TG: i do not need to be hip to your weirdo foursquare fantasies
TG: patently not my business
CG: STOP RIGHT THERE. JUST SHUT IT. I AM PUTTING US OUT OF OUR MISERY RIGHT NOW. I AM CONDUCTING AN ACT OF MERCY ON THIS INSANE FUCKING CONVERSATION AND YOU ARE GOING TO ZIP YOUR LIPS AND TAKE IT.
CG: HERE IT IS: YOUR SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO PRETEND YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME. I AM GOING TO FORGET YOU MADE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF ME AND MY CULTURE THIS ONE TIME. AND LET YOU CONTINUE TO DIG YOUR STUPID, SHITTY HOLE.
CG: AND DAVE, I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO WASTE IT.
CG: TO ANSWER YOUR SHOCKINGLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION, NO I HAVE NOT DONE IT.
CG: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK.
CG: HAPPY?
TG: ……..
TG: way to defuse the situation solid work
TG: real gold star effort grabbin that lit wick and blowing on it
TG: ok first of all you asked me first so dont act like im the one being a weirdo about this
TG: second of all i didnt mean it like that and you know it
TG: THIRD of all what the hell was the point of engaging the knightly theatrics then if you cant even verify that shit
CG: WELL FUCK, SORRY DAVE! I GUESS I'M JUST A FUCKING ROMANCE ENTHUSIAST! I GUESS I GIVE A MAJOR SHIT ABOUT THE THING YOU'RE OPENLY MOCKING TO MY FACE! IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR THOUGHT SPONGE AROUND?
CG: AND IT WAS COMPLETELY REASONABLE FOR ME TO ASK YOU THAT, YOU CONGEALED FETID NOOKSTAIN! MY STATUS ON THE MATTER HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT EITHER OF US IS TRYING TO MAKE.
CG: TRY TO KEEP YOUR NUGBONE FROM CAVING IN ON ITSELF WHEN I DROP THIS BOMBSHELL: I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS ON THINGS I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT, EVEN IF I HAVEN'T DONE THEM! I DON'T JUST GO TROUNCING THE FUCK ABOUT LOBBING MY UNFOUNDED OPINIONS AT PEOPLE LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. UNLIKE SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!
TG: youre
CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY. THE SOMEONE IS YOU.
TG: oh gimme a break
TG: bro youre going apeshit over something you havent even done
TG: you know what that sounds like to me it sounds like an overcompensating fake fan who doesnt get any
TG: you heard of troll napoleon complex
CG: AT LEAST I ACTUALLY FORMED MY OPINION BASED ON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION --
TG: -- oh yeah i bet huh
CG: -- INSTEAD OF JUST BANKING ON NUBJERK --
TG: -- not a real thing you just said
CG: -- REACTIONS AND WRINKLING MY SNIFF NUB AT ANY SIGNS OF GENUINE PHYSICAL INTIMACY!
TG: stop saying nub
CG: YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BULGEWAD
TG: not too much worse than being a perpetual fountain of emotional diarrhea
CG: DON'T YOU DARE.
CG: DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO USE THAT AS A "GOTCHA", YOU--… YOU! FUCK!
TG: dude did you actually run out of insults
TG: okay this is getting concerning
TG: youre the international dude of verbal dunks
TG: that can not be happening
CG: AAGHRJRGHJRGRHJAGHRJGRHJAGRHJRGRHJRGRHRJR
TG: you cant run out of em youre like the ultimate peddler of hate
CG: YOU DON'T THINK I'M CRITICALLY AWARE OF THE HOOFBEASTSHIT I'M SPEWING NIGH FUCKING CONSTANTLY?! I AM PAINFULLY COGNIZANT OF HOW MORONIC EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS!!!!
TG: feel like ive done some damage here
CG: ESPECIALLY MYSELF!
TG: alright bud time to calm down
CG: YOU CALM DOWN!!!!
TG: okay whatever!
CG: WHATEVER!!!!!!!!
TG: jeez
TG: here
CG: UGH.
TG: yeah
TG: really glad stuff like this happens in private
CG: YEAH. SAME HERE.
CG: JEGUS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEFORE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION? I DON'T ASK YOU MANY FAVORS, SO SURELY YOUR SLURRY OF ILL-DEFINED TIME POWERS CAN ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CG: JUST LIKE, WIPE THAT WHOLE THING OFF THE SLATE.
CG: LET'S START OVER. SAY, FIVE MINUTES AGO. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
TG: what conversation?
CG: OKAY, GOTCHA.
1K notes · View notes
angel-eyes05 · 11 months
Text
to leave the warmest bed i've ever known
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pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 
summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office
warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death
word count:  4.1k
notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)
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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.
You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.
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Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.
Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.
You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.
When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 
How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.
Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.
The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.
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The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.
Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.
That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.
“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.
“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.
“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.
The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.
“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.
“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”
Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.
He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”
He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.
“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”
You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”
He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 
“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.
Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.
First though, you had to find Gwen.
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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao
NEXT CHAPTER
5K notes · View notes
amentomensmut · 5 months
Note
I've never asked for a request before and i dont have clout to write it myself so i thought id ask since i like some of your Mike stuff but
What about something like reader and Mike are friends and he goes to a wedding her as a favor cause i like the idea that he has like a messy suit, loose tie kind of hot mess vibe and smutty things happen lol I dont have much in mind but the idea of him in a messy suit trying to look cleaned up is just like ...drool idk
Plus One
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Mike Schmidt x fem!reader wc: 3.1k+
Summary: You invite Mike to be your plus one at your sister's wedding, but things go wrong during the reception and Mike uses you to take out his frustrations.
Warnings: 18+ CONTENT, okay so like reader and Mike are friends but also its kinda angry sex??? You’ll see. Manhandling (sorta), slight exhibitionism, degrading, praise, dirty talk, finger sucking, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap pookies)
Note: oh my GOD this one got away from me and i'm NOT sure about it, I feel like i could’ve written this a bit better but i just started babbling and now we're here. to the person who requested this: THANK YOU.  i loved ur idea and him in a suit like makes me drool too omg. i also couldn’t help adding a little angst in here. also so nevry to post this?? so lmk what u guys think! enjoy :)
“Please, Mike. I swear this is the last thing you’ll ever have to do for me!” You plead, trying to reason with the very unimpressed looking man in front of you. You’ve been stuck in Mike's kitchen for the past half hour trying to convince him to be your plus one to your sister's wedding next Saturday. Clearly, your convincing hasn’t been successful so far. 
“The last time I did a favour for you was supposed to be the last time.” Mike says with a knowing smirk, and you roll your eyes. A few weeks ago, you went out to a bar with some friends and you may have had a few too many long island iced teas. The owner had forced your hand into calling someone to pick you up, and it was Mike's number you had dialled that night. As he drove you back to your apartment with an unpleasant look on his face, you swore to him that that would be the last favour you'd ever ask of him. How you wish you could take that back right about now. 
“Okay, well, I was drunk when I said that. So it doesn't count.” You say with a frown, crossing your arms against your chest like a child who was denied candy. 
You can’t really blame Mike for not wanting to go. Your family is…a lot. You love your family, you really do (most of the time). But, they can be judgemental. You were the kid in school who always got the hottest new toys for Christmas, and had big themed parties for your birthday every year. It had never really dawned on you that you were more well off than other kids until you had met Mike. You became friends with Mike when you were both 15. When you first brought Mike over to your house to hang out, you heard your parents whispering about him that night when you were supposed to be in bed. Your parents gossiped about the kidnapping of his brother, the suicide of his mother, and how Mike and his sister were essentially left to their own devices with their father paralyzed and consumed by grief. It made you sick to hear your parents nitpick and discuss Mike's life like it was a reality tv show. Your parents never really approved of your friendship with Mike, and they tend to not-so-subtly make that known whenever you make the mistake of bringing him up in a conversation. 
“I don’t think that’s how that works. Besides, when your sister offered you a plus one, I really don’t think she had me in mind.” Mike says as he reaches into his fridge for a beer. “In fact, I think she’d prefer you to invite that guy who works at the convenience store and catcalls you everytime you go in, instead of me.” He says, cracking open his beer and offering you a smile before he takes a sip. 
“Well now you’re just being dramatic.” You huff as you walk over to the couch in Mike's living room and take a seat. Mike follows you from the kitchen and sits down in his armchair, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. Mike sticks his tongue out at you and you have to restrain yourself from strangling the man. If it were any other wedding you would’ve just gone on your own. However, your family events tend to…take a turn for the worst. Your family's gatherings usually end with drama, and you know that even though it’s your sister's wedding, this will be no different. That’s why you're insistent on bringing Mike as your plus one, so you can have a little support if things go awry. 
“Very mature.” You say with a shake of your head, once again rolling your eyes at the rude gesture.
“Listen, I’ll go. But, on one condition.” Mike says, and you sit up straight at his words.
“What’s the condition?” You ask suspiciously, but at this point you think you’d agree to almost anything.
“You babysit Abby for a month,”
“Deal.”
“And do my laundry for a month.” Mike adds.
“That’s two conditions actually, Mike.” You scoff as you get off the couch to leave.
“So you’re inviting the guy from the convenience store then?” Mike teases, knowing he's your only option.
You turn around to face Mike, squinting your eyes at him. God, you hate that cocky smirk he does when he knows he's winning. Bastard.
“Have a suit by Saturday. I’ll be over at 10am.” You sigh, flipping Mike off as you leave through his front door.
“Very mature.” You hear him mumble on your way out.
—-----------------------------------------
“Mike, it looks like you just came back from a bachelor party. Not like you’re going to a wedding.” You say, noting the way Mike’s tie hangs loosely around his neck and the first couple buttons on his white button up are left undone. Mike runs his hands through his hair and you quickly bat them away, scolding him for ruining the hair you had just attempted to fix in the car only moments before you arrived. You can’t deny that he looks handsome. He surely looks charming with the way his gelled hair falls messily on his forehead, and the way his dads old suit fits him almost perfectly.
“Well, hopefully your sister doesn’t mind.” Mike says sarcastically as he adjusts the cuff links on the ends of his sleeves and steps out of your car and towards the church where your sister is getting married. 
The first half of the wedding went pretty smoothly. You and your sister have never really been close, so It wasn’t a surprise to you when she didn’t ask you to be a bridesmaid. You and Mike sat a few rows down, occasionally playing footsies under the pew when you’d accidentally bump feet. A kiss was shared between the bride and groom, and everyone left to go to the reception. 
You were nervous about the reception, to be quite honest. Mike could tell, and he put his hand on your lower back, resting it there as you both walked into the banquet hall. You nearly faint when you see the sheer amount of people that fill the room. There have to be about 200 people minimum. It seemed like way less in the church, you think.
“I need a drink.” You mumble to Mike, dragging him over to the bar. 
Both you and Mike order a drink, and you want to be swallowed by the ground when you hear your mothers shrill, sing-songy voice behind you. 
“Darling! I didn’t see you during the ceremony, I thought you hadn’t come.” You turn around and she pulls you into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to both of your cheeks. She pulls away from you and you notice her eyes immediately land on Mike. “Oh, and what a surprise. Mike, how are you and your sister?” Your mother continues, and you bite the inside of your cheek. 
You watch as Mike plasters a big, albeit fake, smile on his face and shakes your mothers hand. 
“Abby and I are doing well, thank you for asking.” Mike says, and you almost laugh at his cordial tone. Mike sends you a ‘help me’ look and you mouth a ‘sorry’ to him.
“Gosh, it just devastated me to hear about your fathers passing.” Your mother says, clutching her chest like she's in pain, and you think she deserves an Oscar for the way she acts like she gives a shit. “I’m sure it must be so hard for you to provide for your sister alone.” Your mother adds and you watch the smile slowly slide off of Mike’s face.
“Why do you say that?” He asks, and you suddenly regret ever asking Mike to be your plus one. 
“Mom-,” You start to say, but she disregards your voice, raising her hand as you speak to stop you.
“Well, I know you struggle keeping a job. You know, not everyone is cut out to raise a child.” If you could see yourself, you’re sure all the colour would be drained from your face. You’re left speechless, mouth half hung open at your mothers words. How could she say that? She doesn’t know him like you do. She doesn’t know how much Mike sacrifices to provide for Abby.
You look over at Mike and his jaw is tightly clenched. You brace yourself for Mike's next words, but they don’t come. Instead, you watch as he excuses himself and walks towards the mens bathroom.
“Well, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Your mother jokes once Mike is out of earshot.
“Jesus Christ, mom.” You say incredulously as you turn to go find Mike. 
You walk towards the bathrooms, entering the men’s restroom with only one thing on your mind. Mike. Luckily the restroom is empty, save for Mike who is leaning over the counter. You slowly reach behind yourself, locking the bathroom door. You begin to step towards Mike, but you stop when you hear his voice.
“Do you think I'm not fit to raise Abby?” Mike asks you angrily, not even turning to look at you. You just stand there like an idiot, reaching down to fidget with the hem of your shirt.
“I-, no. Of course not.” You say, and the music that was loud in the hall, is now only a low hum in the bathroom. 
It’s silent for a moment, and you’re not really sure what to say, or how to make things better. You resume taking slow, tentative steps towards Mike and you stop once you’re behind him. You place an uncertain hand on his back, softly rubbing it up and down to comfort him. He lets you touch him and you hear him let out a breath. He turns around to face you and you look up to meet his eyes. He studies your face for a moment, and you inch even closer to him. 
“I’m sorry about my mom. That was inexcusable.” You sigh. If you were in Mike’s shoes, you probably would’ve left the reception entirely, and you’re not entirely opposed to that idea right now. 
“Your mother doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.” Mike finally says, and there’s distaste in his tone. You don’t say anything, you know it's true. Your family, especially your mother, has never approved of your friendship with Mike. 
“Do you think that?” Mike asks you, and you’re just now realising how close Mike’s face is to your own. You look up at him with furrowed brows and shake your head.
“No, Mike. I don’t think that.” You say quietly, and you swear the tension between Mike and you is so thick, it could be cut with a knife. You look down, but you feel Mike's hand grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look back up at him.
“You can’t even look at me when you say it. Pathetic.” Mike seethed. You let out a hushed whimper at his words..
“Sorry.” You say, but your voice sounds small. “I know you are.” He coos, rubbing his thumb back on fourth on your cheek.
“I need you to do something for me, okay?” Mike says, leaning down to speak in your ear. His voice is sweet and the switch in moods makes your head spin.
“Okay.” You nod and Mike pulls away from your ear to look you in the eyes.
“Be fucking quiet.” He says, and he presses his lips to yours. You softly gasp in shock, but quickly kiss him back as he turns you around to hoist you up onto the counter. He grabs both of your knees, opening them to make space for him to stand between your legs. He grips your thighs harshly, and you sigh when he sucks on your bottom lip. He puts one of his hands under your jaw, using it to hold your head in place as he kisses you. His lips are slightly chapped, but you don’t mind. He kisses you with fever, and you can’t deny that you haven’t thought about this. 
He kisses down to your jaw and neck, sucking the skin in a way where you know there will be bruises. Jerk. You run your hands through his hair, throwing your head back at the pleasurable feeling of his lips gliding over your skin. The hand that was on your thigh is now trailing up your leg and under your skirt. You clench your legs around his hand and he softly bites your neck, wordlessly scolding you for your actions. You reopen your legs and his hand comes up to make contact with your clothed clit. He rubs slow circles and you let out a soft whimper.
“You gonna let me fuck you?” He slurs in your ear, and his fingers move from your clit to the waistband on your panties, pulling it back and slapping it against your skin. You nod and he’s pulling you off of the counter and flipping you around. Mike bends you over and your chest meets the cold granite. You look in front of you and you can see Mike behind you in the mirror on the wall. He pushes your knee length skirt up and around your hips, and groans at the sight of you bent over for him.
“You okay?” He asks genuinely, running his hands along the sides of your body in a comforting manor.
“Yeah, keep going.” You breathe out and he hooks his fingers into the sides of your panties, pulling them down. You clench around nothing as the cold air hits your cunt. You moan softly as Mike spreads your pussy open with his thumbs, groaning at how wet you are. Without warning, he inserts his pointer and middle finger inside of you, thrusting them in and out. The lewd, squelching sounds of Mike fingering you fill the bathroom and you suck in a sharp breath as his fingers curl up into your sweet spot. 
“Apparently your pussy thinks I’m good enough.” Mike says and you look up into the mirror to see his jaw slack, watching the way his fingers move in and out of you. You can feel Mike's erection brushing against the back of your thigh as he rocks his hips with every thrust of his fingers. 
“Mike, fuck me.” You whine, and Mike takes his fingers out of you. He brings them to your lips, pushing them inside your mouth, and you can hear him undoing his belt with his other hand. 
“Thought I told you to be fucking quiet.” He murmurs and you watch in the mirror as he shoves his pants and boxers down just enough to pull his hard cock out. He removes his fingers from your lips, using your spit as lube to pump his cock a few times before lining it up with your pussy. He slowly inches himself inside of you, pushing you down onto the counter. Your mouth drops open in a silent scream and you hear Mike let out a whine at the feeling of being in you. 
He starts to pump himself in and out of you, and he pulls you up by your shirt into his chest to make you watch yourself in the mirror. He fucks into you like he can’t get enough of you. Like being inside of you isn’t close enough.
“What would your mother think? Hm? About her sweet little angel getting fucked in the bathroom?” Mike says in your ear, with a sickeningly sweet tone. It's like he just knows how to push your buttons. You let out a low moan at his words. 
“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Mike adds and your legs shake when he uses the hand that was holding you up to rub your clit. You drop back down on the counter and Mike grabs your hip with his free hand, using it as leverage to bottom out in you with every single thrust. He throws his head back in ecstasy and you clench around him, signalling your impending orgasm. 
“You wanna cum?” Mike asks, and his voice is raspy and fucked out. You nod your head ‘yes’. 
“No, want you to say it.” Mike says, and you can tell he’s close by his sloppy, less rhythmic thrusts.
“Please, Mike. Please, can I cum?” You beg, your voice hoarse. The filthy sounds of skin against skin echo throughout the bathroom, and if someone has tried to enter the bathroom since you’ve been in here, you’ve been too fucked out to hear it. Thank god I locked the door, you think.
“Cum, baby, Fuck.” Mike chokes out. Your legs shake as you cum around his cock, your orgasm only heightened by the feeling of him filling you up. You bite down on your hand to muffle yourself and you swear to god you hear Mike whimper, pussy drunk as he continues to ride his high thrusting in and out of your sloppy pussy.
After catching his breath, you feel Mike pull out of you and you wince at the feeling of his cum dripping down your inner thighs. You slowly tilt your head up as you watch Mike get some toilet paper to clean himself up. He tucks himself back inside his boxers and pulls his pants up. You flinch a little as you feel him come up behind you, cleaning you up with more toilet paper. 
“Sorry, was I too rough?” He asks softly, looking at you through the mirror and you shake your head.
“No, just sensitive.” You say as Mike finishes cleaning you. You pull your panties back up, letting your skirt fall back over your legs. Your knees buckle a little bit as you try to stand straight and Mike rushes over to you, lending you a hand.
“You know, I actually think you’re one of the only people who genuinely thinks I am good enough.” Mike says, and you look up at him.
“Of course I do. I always have.” You say softly, gently touching Mike’s cheek.
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theoccultz · 29 days
Text
Who likes you and why?
#Revelation of love
General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't
Let me know which pile you picked 💙
Intuitive chanelling
My pac's are inclusive , your likes , comments & reblogs are appreciated i read em all and i love it (:
Photos, dividers not mine , credit to their rightful owner
Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.
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Pile l .
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
Who likes you ?
This is someone in your close circle but still at a distance, this could be a client , a friend of a friend, seems like this person knows you very well , they're observant and sneaky af ,i dont think anyone knows they like you they're the type of person who'll be present when others are gossiping about you just so they could find out more about you lmao , they could follow you on social media and they might keep up with what you post , who you see , who you're talking too this seems like a thing going on for a while , this person is jealous of the attention you get , the reason this person may not be ready to confess is because this person is smart they know you gotta befriend the friend of the crush first , be close to them so they add you in their priority list , they dont want to shoot their shot and miss it , yeah .
This person seems to be crushing on you for a while now , its like one of those crush who you want to move on from but you cant , i'm hearing this person has a lot of fantasies, they idealise you without realising, they notice everything about you , is this person having a good day? Why are they reading that book ? They will literally buy that book just so they could have a chance to discuss it with you .
I'm getting you guys may have small talk here & there and the discussion is always fun and a learning experience, you guys really put your creative intelligence to test you guys may have mercury- venus aspects in composite you may be very good at understanding each other and being philosophical, you have a smooth conversation whenever you guys meet but i'm getting it rarely happens this person always miss a chance to talk to you , lets say they see you grocery shopping and they dont approch to say hi , they just lower their cap so you wouldn't see them . Maybe this person is older than you or just wise , very mature . They want to flex on you so you realise their potential and it comes from a place of insecurity:/ but they also feel like you have low chances to be with them so they want to improve & be the best version of themselves , this person can provide you with a lot of security tho they are kind of successful and resourceful in some way maybe they are innovative and have some hard skills which comes in handy .
This is so cute pile 1 😭its like i'm walking in the hallway just too see them cause they cant get enough of you, they wanna be around, they wanna listen what you got to say they wanna know everything about you ,i feel like even if this person tries to have a conversation it never moves past something serious its just casual stuff, the daily boring stuff. This could be your mom's friend? This person doesn't have that much age difference tbh i would say hardly three ,i really love how this person have a good sense of boundaries they wouldn't make you uncomfortable , they literally overthink every conversation, they hate when you look closed off , they feel very possesive over you and they also feel guilty about their feelings uff this was heavy pile 1 this person needs a lot of reassurance.
Why do they like you ?
They find you cute, they feel like they manifested you , you are their type they see you as the next big thing in their life , they were going through a tough time , they have come of it recently and they have been trying to be their best self they only want best things in their life , they dont want to settle for less ,you could be an escape from their day to day life like the only thing that feels good , this person is trying to discern as well like do i like them ? Or am i just bored ? I feel like this person is confused but stubborn on their decision they feel like its kind of attraction that developed way too fast so thats why they're taking it slow , i would say they're not in denial now but they were in the beginning they would ignore you and they would try to find flaws in you but its kind of hard for them to get over their feelings they could be a fire mars , fire mars do not commit easily they fall fast and hard and they kind of need that sign that okay i need this and i need to take action before i miss out on something good . This person is 100 percent spiritual i keep hearing universe/ soulmate ...this person is really connected to their inner self & trust themselves .
What can they bring to your life ?
A lot of joy , understanding, support, fun moments this person is a giver and they'll be invested in your connection , i strongly feel this will be a long term connection, i feel like it could be very different from your previous one , this person will pay a lot of attention to you and they'll help you out , this person is big on PDA , they're gonna put their best foot forward, I like this person 💁i dont see any bad intentions, they are focused on bringing clarity to the connection at the moment because they have s tendency to self sabotage and universe is like No 🙃 . This person could have long healthy hairs , kind of piercing eyes , chin ? Tattoo , feminine look ah idk i'm getting felix , naruto , jane , they could look similiar to them this person is very shy they dont want to reveal anything that could expose them .
Your personal/ significant number is 3 .
Astrological details: cancer 9h , virgo8h , neptune 8h , libra rising, uranus-pluto , gemini stellium , saturn 3rd(yeah this person feels insecure about their expression of thoughts they feel like they can mess up ), retrograde planets , chiron-venus aspects , gemini venus .
Song additional message:
Thanks for reading !!
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Pile ll.
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
I think this is someone who's yet to be in your life but let's see
Who likes you ?
Someone who has regrets over you , they dont like to see you with other people, this connection has ended before it begun this could be an ex or someone who was a fling or an unconfessed love this person is dramatic and hopeless they want to give up and find someone new but they keep coming back to you they have failed relationships because of this , maybe you guys were in a situationship, this person keeps tabs on you lets say they attended your graduation ceremony but they pretended as if they didn't came for you , this could be someone who's cold and cautious or you could feel this way they are hesitant to show their affections they hate dissapointing others but they do it anyways ☠️✋🏻this person has a lot of pride and that stops them as well they dont want to hurt themselves so they hurt others in the process, yeah this person is protective over themselves they could be same age as you , they're kind of hurt by people, they're misunderstood and prefers to stay alone they could be well known but they still keep to themselves, they give me a good friend vibe but yes this person is very analytical, you say one thing wrong like you make fun of their interests and they'll disown you , they'll hide in their cocoon,i keep hearing extravagant words they could work somewhere very professional they could have a strong masculine voice gender doesn't matter ,they hate being the center of attention, they give me angelina jolie vibes, they could come off strong like they have a good built this person is into fitness , they could have a defined facial structure but they dont put in a lot of efforts in their appearance i feel like you have some sort of effect on them , it reminds me of those videos where they say ..."be around the girls who giggles a lot they'll heal you ....." i feel like you're someone very sweet but you're in some way similiar you could be like the mom friend , you may love travelling you may wear glasses ,you may love being online and talkin' with people this person feels like you're very secure and people like you easily you may love photography and east Asian cuisines, you could be a Pisces/taurus or you give that vibe i feel like you're free with this person this person makes you feel present in the moment, you guys explore a lot of new things with each other , you guys will be those couples who people feel like they dont know you guys but they're envious because you're so like married couples its like you have so much understanding and appreciation for each other , i'm getting respect you guys are not that couple who talk behind each others back ,you guys bring no drama for the people. I dont think so this connection is over 🫡☠️i keep speaking as if things are gonna happen, some of you could meet them while doing the most random thing ANYWAYS ...
Hmm interesting this person is not over you guys idk who this is , this person feels like you need new beginning together this could be a friend too who likes you but they maybe in the past has not accepted it . Its like your friends know them , you know their struggle in some way but they're still a mystery this person is resilient and hates losing they're kind of quiet but you should have guts to challenge them, they keep a lot in them they dont express themselves easily ughhh why is this so aqua/scorpio moon combo like no one is judging your ass 😭jk jk
Why do they like you ?
Oh this person is down bad for you , not a lot of people intrigue them they hardly like anyone, this person is head over heels they love your fashion style , they like your messy hair they love your angry face like they love everything about you , check where Sagittarius is rulling in your chart . This person feels like a fan of you 🤷you know when i was reading for who are they and what connection do you share this person was being so cool and nonchalant and now the feelings are literally on my face , you could carry a lot of. .... i dont back down energy ...." and this person loves that , they feel you're a combo , they feel like you challenge them , they want to experience every inch of you *i dont use these words guys its giving Wattpad i'm just chanelling dont judge me 🫠* they want to travel with you like lets go to movies , lets go here & there they want to get you alone , they could be a Aussie? They could be a journalist or they could be your senior, this person could make you shy easily they're just so attentive, i'm seeing someone literally stare tf out of the other person sitting across like bestie chill 😭 i'm telling you guys this person knows how to flirt , you might find them annoying too like let me eat peacefully and this person is like 🥹 you're so cute & its kind of baffling because LIKE YOUR MOUTH IS STUFFED WITH CARAMEL CHOCOLATE AND YOU'RE GIVING THEM WTF LOOK Its chaotic like that 😭✋🏼. This person may have this tendency to smile to themselves and sometimes you just wonder if this bitch is laughing at your ass 😭 . Ok but the amount of emojis its hard for this person to let you know how much they're into you they just cant and this is a struggle you'll have to face (':
You can be frustrated with them as well or other people are tired of their ass because i keep hearing cuss words , this person is hella mad at you and that's how you know i'm talkin' abt that person , they hate how you act so cool , how it looks like nothing effects you .
What can they bring to your life?
This person will bring travel , food and peace in your life , you'll be joyous around them , i'm getting reminded of ailee from tiktok, you'know that couple , you are two sides of the coin you guys are funky together , you guys will do things for each other lets say you never wrote a letter in your life but for this person you will.... lets say you person never cooked for anyone but for you they will , you are kind of polar apart , you might not even like this person at first but then like something happens and you start noticing them but the attraction was always there like you kind of realise you dont pay attention to them when you should?? Something like that *sorry it was kinda confusing* ,its like silent love , you both know you like each other but no one's making the first move like that BOLD move I'm talkin about, yeah you remind me of ailee and how she is with her boyfriend like she's giggling all the time and its so wholesome.
I dont want to end this reading its so cute how this person is ready to change themselves and be uncomfortable with that change for you . No cause GOOD . People should put in effort for their loved ones .
This person could have beard if they're a guy , they could be tall or they could be short too , they have a long oval face , they could have short kinda sliky hairs , they have this droppy eyes like that actor Johnny depp ,they love sunset ? , they could wear baggy clothes, they love accesories , they may have a favourite bag ,they value their things . They could look like lisa , jundu , jori ,n? They could work at sanitorium , jersey , break/separation,movie fan , sophomore. They could like Taylor swift as well or you do but there's someone here who's very much into westeen artists , main stream and their music . They could give reviews?
Your personal/significant number is 6 ,222, 759
Astrological details: leo , Virgo moon , pisces Mercury, libra mars ,saggi rising/moon , 12th placements, december , scorpio11h , pisces placements(they could come off as distant and aloof , a dreamer in their own world) they could be very direct in their communication,leo mars, gemini rising , they could work at McDonald's , yeah you guys may love beach cancer8h , you guys bond deeply .
Song message:
this person is hella mad at you and that's how you know i'm talkin' abt that person , they hate how u act so cool , i'm telling you this person will lose their mind if you leave them , let the universe handle their ego , this person will only be allowed in your space when they're not agressive and demanding , they could act like 5yr old and thats why they're not around you , this person needs to be sure of their actions and intentions because this relationship is very significant for both of you , i'm hearing like dont mess it up and whatsoever. You would know better if its meant for you .
Thanks for reading !!
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Pile lll.
You can take it however you want ,a person who'll be coming into your life or someone you are manifestating , you can refer this pac as confirmation too
Who likes you ?
I'm getting dynamic first
Ok there's a lot of attraction ....this person is new , they are starting to notice you , they are likeable kind of fun to be around, this is someone who you'll have a fun banter with ,you guys will be very expressive w/each other , this can start of as just friends , this could be an fwb , this person is gonna sweep you of your feet , (i was using a lot of yeahs apparently) they do talk like that and that's how you know its them its giving gemini 10h , this person is a chaser , you are not looking for love is how they feel , you're independent and a boss lady/men ,you trust your intuition, i feel like this is that relationship where you'll be smiling against your will while texting them 😭 you'll be in denial for sure or you are , this person will have a massive affect on you & vise versa, they're too much at times, this person is extra ✨they can be a fun person for their loved one's, they can be the gossip queen , this person is caring, straightforward and blunt if they like you , you will KNOW , they cant hide it for you . This person is petty asf , this person is frustrated , they could feel paranoid , this tendency of theirs to feed of jealousy comes from tension , anger , sadness & eagerness in your relationship .
Ok but i really love your vibe tho 🌞 you just shine pile lll , nobody can steal your light you may be psychic yourself you're connected to the divine, you are that person who childerens Love, you're positive and classy , this person will fall in love unexpectedly i think its somewhere between like+ attraction,they love your personality , you are this persons "dream" person , this person wants a person like you in their life , you are you know their competition like if they're 5 you're 10 .period . You could have met them where people were celebrating?
There's a lot of sexual attraction, 5th house vibe , in the party everyone can see your chemistry but this person has a hard time understanding, they want their persons attention when they're in a relationship this could piss you off because they're the type of person who's like oh i didn't study but they have topped the class cause they're always prepared and you don't want to rush into things , this person is like hyper active this person expresses what they feel they can get easily frustrated , this person is no filter , you can be yourself around them , you guys give off best friends -lover energy , its like they want to know everything thats going on with you , you cant hide it , i highly feel there will be instances where this person can misbehave with people out of jealousy they can blame you and sulk about it " why do you even talk with that person ? " Who are you i'm their person " things like that . You're more mature than this person for sure . This person could be into gift giving. This person could stress you out , they're sweet , you could be someone who needs space and this person is a drama queen , they'll literally act dramatic if you dont give them attention they cant put their act for long tho , this person is more of " okay i forgive you , let's go get tacos " and you're like WHAT? 😭Remind me when did i even apologise...
Oh YASS this person is reminding me of ASAP ROCKY you know how he's playful with rihanna 24/7 , they're from a well off family *old money* i keep seeing coins
Why do they like you ?
They wanna be like you , you inspire them to change for better , you make them feel serious about their goals , they have a soft corner for you , they like your personality because you're everything they need , they love how independent and a boss lady/guy you are , they feel protective over you yeahh they dont feel these things with other people thats why , this person could share moon synastry with you which i love 😭💙They could feel at peace with you , you're their home and thats why they're so affected by your energy because you pull them in . This person could be commitment phobic i wouldn't say it tbh i feel they are more nonchalant, do not take anything seriously but they take your relationship VERY seriously....when you feel these weird feelings for someone and you wanna get rid of this mindset and truly cherish the person . That's how this person feels for you , You guys won't feel that instant attraction its slow burn , its like you did not even wanted to get involved but you did😭✋🏻 ah i hope i'm making sense* i dont feel like editing your pile because the energy feels so free and i feel as though i should put things as i channel them 💙🫶🏼ignore any mistakes...
What they bring to your life?
A breathe of fresh air , you are relaxed with them you know how elders say don't be w/ someone who gives you butterflies be w/someone who calms your nervous system lol , you guys will be nasty together, you guys will be very comfortable, lots of jokes , cuddles , cute fights , emotional attachment, sweet love yeah its kind of magical i feel like rapunzel 😷* sorry lmao*
Your personal /significant number is 7 , 9 , 30
Astrological details : mars4h , uranus sextile venus , Aquarius moon , air sign , leo mercury, chiron-venus aspects , 4h placements , leo - virgo , sun 2h , jupiter8h , north node / sagg is very important here (this relationship is meant to bring Harmony & alignment) ,moon1h
there's delay here for some reason , there's a lot of uncertainty coming from someone's energy or outside influence , could be anything work , people, timing...which is normal (: i feel as though the timing is important so nothing will feel out of place . Also i'm picking up on abondonment issues , Anyways .
Song message
See i told you guys , this could be their first serious relationship & they're feeling every emotion alive lmao
Thanks for reading!!
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taeyongdoyoung · 15 days
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strawberries & sunshine
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summary: your adorable best friend takes you to a picnic in a secluded spot but his intentions may be far from innocent... pairing: haechan x reader genre: smut, established relationship warnings: cnc/dubcon, corruption kink, innocence kink, pet names (angel, sweetie, my flower, etc.), mention of doctors/made-up sickness, manipulation, bf2l roleplay, inappropriate touching, rubbing, fingering, unprotected sex (pls dont), public sex (there is no one around but still), creampie, safeword is referenced but not used, swearing, degradation (reader is called slut), aftercare author's note: this concept has been haunting me for a while now and i finally gathered enough courage to put it into words 🥴 word count: 1.7k
Your best friend is the sweetest guy in the universe. Haechan is thoughtful, funny and always does kind gestures like bringing you flowers or your favourite chocolates without asking for anything in return. Despite being talkative himself, he always listens to you rant about what’s bothering you, checking to see if you want advice or simply emotional support.
Haechan is also very cute and pretty. Spending time with him truly energizes you and you trust him to have your best interests at heart 100%. Which is why you don’t think twice when he asks you to go on a picnic with him. You love eating and nature, but more importantly, you love being around Haechan, so you find no reason to worry.
When he first mentioned this idea, you assumed you two would go to a park inside the city. But now that the sunny day you chose for your picnic finally arrives, you are stunned that Haechan is driving you two out of the city, entering the mountain nearby.
“Woah, isn’t that a little far away?” you ask in amazement.
“Relax, angel, I’ll take you to the prettiest place,” Haechan responds.
You nod absentmindedly, not even a little bit concerned.
After what seems like forever, Haechan stops the car. He insists on carrying the picnic basket, as well as the blanket, and leads the way into the woods. You walk for around 15 minutes when you are eventually greeted by gorgeous green grass, surrounded by tall trees and birds chirping.
“It’s so lovely, Haechan! How did you find this?”
“I like exploring every once in a while,” he shrugs humbly.
You lay down the blanket, spread out the insides of the picnic basket and sit down, satisfied with the results. There are strawberries, little croissants, ham and cheese sandwiches, French macarons, some homemade kimbap and lemonade. It is so peaceful and quiet here, you really needed an escape from the big city.
You don’t talk much, too busy eating, enjoying the sweet strawberries, the bright sunshine and the lovely atmosphere.
“Oof, I’m so full,” you groan at some point.
“That’s the whole point of picnics, isn’t it?” Haechan chuckles.
“So true!” you laugh.
You two put the remaining food back into the basket and place it on the grass, making space for you to lie down on the blanket.
“To be honest, I’m still kinda hungry,” Haechan murmurs bashfully.
“What? Why didn’t you say so before we put the food away?” you exclaim in surprise.
“Not hungry for anything inside the basket.”
“What do you mean?” you ask innocently.
“I’m not just hungry, I’m also in a lot of pain.”
“Huh? Should we go back to the city for you to see a doctor?” you are instantly concerned for your friend’s well-being.
“Oh, I’ve talked to many doctors already and they all said the same thing. There is only one cure possible for my sickness,” Haechan explains patiently.
“Well, what is it? If there’s anything I can do to help you…” you offer without thinking.
“There is, actually. But do you promise to do anything for me? You’re my best friend, right? You wouldn’t want me to be in pain?”
“Of course not, Haechan! I promise I’ll try to help you but you gotta tell me what kind of pain are you talking about?”
“How about I show you instead?” Haechan’s lips tilt in the slightest of smirk. You are confused by the change of his expression, when he grabs your hand and puts it on his heart. “First, it hurts here.” Then, he moves it so that your hand is now placed on top of his cock. “But it also hurts here.”
“Oh, Haechan,” you sympathize with him. Truly. “This is so strange but I think I might have the same sickness?”
You take hold of his hand and place it on your breasts.
“It hurts me here, as well,” you blink at him softly, then move his hand to your clothed pussy so he touches it through your floral dress. “And here.”
“My angel, I had no idea you were also suffering from this cruel sickness. Do you think maybe…we could be each other’s cure?”
“I don’t know, Haechan…Isn’t it wrong to feel this way?” you express your doubts.
“Oh no, sweetie, it’s completely normal, at least that’s what the doctors said. If we help each other, the pain will disappear.”
“Well, then I guess it’s for the best,” you concede. “The hurt is becoming quite uncomfortable.”
“Same here, my flower. I think we should hurry if we want to cure ourselves of this terrible illness.”
Haechan wastes no more time trying to convince you and climbs on top of you, pressing you down. He spreads your legs apart with one hand, touching and brutally rubbing you through your panties.
“Hyuck, n-no, this isn’t right,” you cry out and try to push him away.
“Shh, my sweet, I’m just trying to cure you first. Don’t you want it?”
“N-no, I’m not sure anymore, please stop,” you whine helplessly but he is too strong to fight off.
“It’ll be over before you know it, just stop struggling, my dear,” Haechan assures you and continues to attack your pussy with his hand. Eventually, he tears your panties apart, sticking his long fingers inside of you.
“P-please, you don’t ha-have to do this,” you try your best to resist but your damn pussy betrays you, squelching noises revealing your juices all for your best friend to see and hear. You would be embarrassed if you aren’t so turned on right now. You come around his fingers so quickly and powerfully that you are unable to think clearly any longer.
“You can help me now, no? I healed you, so now it’s your turn to give me the cure,” Haechan tries to talk you into this.
“I don’t know…” you shake your head. “Maybe there’s another way.”
“There isn’t. Trust me, okay?” Haechan insists. “You promised…”
His reminder, paired with his soft yet cruel smile is more than enough to convince you. But you say nothing as he unbuckles his belt, lowers his boxers and enters you in one swift movement.
“N-no, it h-hurts, Hyuck, p-please,” you whimper around him, as he goes deeper than you could ever imagine, stretching you out to your absolute limits.
“Take it, you slut, going alone into the woods with a guy, acting as if you had no idea what’s gonna happen to you,” Haechan’s words are so unkind, so unlike the sweet guy you’re used to seeing.
“I didn’t know, I swear,” you insist, pushing against his chest with your tiny hands.
“Shut the fuck up,” he laughs meanly, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.
“N-no, this is wrong, H-hyuck,” you sniffle pitifully. “We’re best friends, we shouldn’t do things like that.”
“Well, best friends ought to help each other no matter what. So, take it like the good little slut you are and cure me of this sickness you caused,” Haechan keeps fucking into you, making you feel so full and satiated.
“Am not a slut,” you argue.
“Oh yeah? Then, why didn’t you wear a fucking bra, huh?” Haechan asks, letting go of your wrists and sliding his hand under your dress, grabbing your tits roughly.
“F-for you,” you admit shamelessly. “Wanna be your good girl, Hyuck.”
“Too bad, because I wanna turn my good girl into a slut,” he snickers at you, spilling his seed inside of your pussy. You come around him without thinking and are foolish enough to think he’s done with you. Taking his cock out and using his fingers to fuck the cum threatening to spill out back into your pussy. You are too exhausted to fight back but you do your best anyway.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Making sure the cure is permanent,” Haechan explains calmly as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.
Then, without bothering to ask, he flips you around so that you are on your knees, face down, and slips back inside of you smoothly.
“N-no, that’s enough!” you scream in frustration.
“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Haechan grunts loudly.
“Nngh, aren’t we cured already?”
“What are you talking about? The disease is only spreading further,” Haechan laughs maniacally at this point.
“Haechan, please, stop, I can’t…” you cry and plead and whimper, again and again.
“You know what to say if you really want me to stop,” Haechan reminds you. But when you say nothing, he continues using your body, right there in the middle of the woods, too far away from society, where no one could possibly hear you asking for help, where you are left entirely at your best friend’s mercy.
Eventually, he exhausts himself after cumming too many times, inside of you, on your back, on your belly, and all over the poor blanket. Haechan reaches his hand out to get water from the picnic basket, thoughtfully giving it to you. After you are both done drinking, he does his best to clean you up and make sure you are...well, alive. Taking a deep breath, he lies down next to you, enveloping you in a warm and soft hug.
“Was that too much?” he wants to know and brushes a piece of hair behind your ear gently. You melt under his touch, just like always.
There he is. Your sunshine boyfriend is back.
“No, it was perfect. So much better than what we talked about previously,” you reply honestly.
“I wasn’t too mean to my baby, was I?” Haechan needs to make sure.
“Just the right amount of mean,” you laugh. “Did I play the innocent angel part well enough?”
“Too well,” Haechan praises your acting skills. “Maybe because you were my innocent best friend back when we first met.”
“And look where that got me,” you sigh. “Miles away from home, overflowing with cum, no one to save me. Such a tragic fate.”
“Oh, come on, don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Haechan rolls his eyes.
You lean in to kiss him softly.
“Loved every minute,” you admit. Then, you grab his chin firmly. “But next time, I’ll be the one corrupting you.”
The End
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