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#this is just a thought tho no other evidence so im just adding to the random delusional spec bag
evankinard · 1 month
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they way bi buck and accidentally baby acquisition buck are now equally plausible theories to me like 1) bi buck has the everything about buck going for it but 2) baby acquisition has the underlying theme of buck's relationship with parenthood from the last season and start of this season going for it also with buck and eddie the way they are this season it would most definitely basically end up with them coparenting this one too and both roads lead to buddie canon
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months
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Okay I know we like to joke about Vaggie and Charlie having really kinky sex but..
* Charlie for years thought that her girl friend was normal Sinner and wanted to get her into Heaven.
* Charlie has "pre marital sex" on the list of things to avoid.
* There is no way she would bar her girlfriend from redemption for her own needs.
So that's a lot of evidence against them having that sort of carnal relationship pre-reveal. However, we can then add-
* Charlie was shocked by the sex scene in the first episode.
* She was highly uncomfortable in the BDSM club.
* She almost threw up watching Angel Dust's porno. Like legit, she looked like she was going to hurl, and Vaggie helped block her view and comforted her.
* She is extremely uncomfortable even discussing Abgel's job, actually.
So what am I getting at? Charlie may be bi-romantic, but when push comes to shove, she acts very much like a sex-repulsed asexual. So it's possible that their relationship is purely romantic and not sexual. Which fits into their whole paradigm of having a really non-standard relationship by Hell's standards.
Either that or any "fun times" they have is so vanilla that it turns the ice cream coffee flavored in comparison. Because Charlie is clearly not comfortable with anything more exotic.
ach well, tbh as an ace i'm much more comfortable talking about and being around sex stuff in social / public / business situations than TWO out of my three Very Sexual Sisters are, even tho im pretty repulsed by it personally. like I'll skip past it in movies and such while they happily tuck in and enjoy. So.... lots of ways to be ace and allo, i guess
it's all just headcanons to me. who the fuck even knows XD
charlie maybe or maybe not getting jiggy with with Her Girlfriend wouldn't mean she'd ALSO be up for watching or being around while OTHER people are doing it ^w^ i can feel that too
...OR ACE CHARLIE AND ALASTOR BONDING WHILE VAGGIE STANDS IN THE BACKGROUND WEARING A "my girlfriend is amACEing" T-SHIT THAT HAS "but alastor can go unliterally fuck himself" ADDED TO THE BOTTOM IN MARKER
anyway, my comment to this post is basically me falling in the love with the OTHER headcanon that poor charlie didn't wanna risk damning her gf's soul by having the pre-marital sexy times-
and is Very Fucking Frustrated / Horrified to realize that was never even a thing with vagige anyway. Also, the gayness. like. already a sin
OwO; oops?
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teecupangel · 5 months
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i know you have so much on your plate rn but i can't stop thinking about Ezio-era Baker!Desmond and the shenanigan layers of ✨intrigue✨ going on with Ezio and Leo thinking he’s Giovani's bastard, and Maria inviting him to the villa on a whim ’cause she thinks her kids (and Leo) like the pastries, and Desmond misinterpreting absolutely everything because that boy is a Wreck™
what comes of it, tho?? is Desmond trying to alter history more than just pre-inventing exotic baked goods? is he already having to dodge assassins around Italy while trying to protect the Auditore family, getting on Giovani's radar and spooking him ’cause he can't figure out what branch he's from? or is Desmond holed up in his bakery trying very hard NOT to change anything ’cause hey he’d already saved the world he’d like to not fuck things up bad enough to have to do it again?
does Giovani catch a glimpse of him at some point (either just in the bakery or while Desmond’s out being assassin-y), and instead of thinking he looks like himself or Ezio (since this would be before Ezio gets the scar), thinks he looks eerily like the statue of Altaïr? as another layer of shenanigan, he could come to Leonardo with the idea of time travel but thinks that Desmond is from the PAST rather than the FUTURE, and Leo spends the whole convo trying not to blurt that he thinks/knows Desmond is GIOVANI'S kid
just. the confusion of this au speaks to me, since it’s ALMOST crack-y but also these fools are canonically FOOLS, and i love the way you blend angst with shenanigans. im also shippy at heart, so would love to see your take on that in this au if you have the time 👀
(thank you for reading, i hope you're doing well! 🧡)
As long as you guys are find that your asks are getting answered a month later, I’m alright with adding more to my plate XD (just to be clear, this is a first-in-first-out basis for both asks and replies/reblogs and I’m only about to clear Oct 13 XD)
The original Desmond becomes a baker in Renaissance Italy and gets mistaken as Giovanni’s illegitimate child idea for those curious.
In this one, Desmond only went as far as stop the Auditores from being arrested by dropping key documents showing Uberto’s treachery to the Medici. He stayed as far away as he could from the Auditores and only dropped off the evidence in Lorenzo’s bedside table one day, slipping into the darkness. Anyone who saw him actually thought he was a monk since he was wearing a monk’s attire (which he burned afterwards). This does lead to Giovanni and the thieves guild looking for him after since he hasn’t done any other Assassin related stuff and was simply living his life as a baker, they’re hitting a dead end. Desmond doesn’t plan to do anything else since he believes that the Auditores would be able to handle it from here and he’s betting on Giovanni finally starting Ezio’s training after learning that the Templars are after his family.
Giovanni’s first glimpse of him is when he checked the bakery from afar since his family seemed to like it so much. He just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t post any danger to his family and maybe even talk to La Volpe into adding it to the thieves’ patrol route just so they would have eyes on the bakery at all time. It’s gotten so popular that the Medici are even thinking of ordering from them so Giovanni figured he should do reconnaissance before it got to that point. When he saw Desmond, he doesn’t see the similarities between them, he saw Desmond looking a lot like the statue of Altaïr and he freaks out. Because, unlike Ezio or Leonardo, he does have an inkling of how powerful Those Who Come Before were. He has seen the Shroud and he has heard the tales of how Altaïr had mastered one of their weapons. And… if the Shroud could heal all and any injuries then… In this case, Giovanni doesn’t think Desmond is a time traveler, he thinks Desmond is Altaïr himself who has gained immortality thanks to the ‘powers’ of Those Who Come Before.
Thank you! I honestly like writing these ideas where it’s crack but not crack enough that it’s a bit confusing XD
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heartfelttry · 1 month
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on a tiktok comment, i mentioned having taken notes of thepandaredd's OCs and whatnot to be able to name-drop them once i am un-sickly enough to commit to writing DC fanfics (and i mentioned them in a comment to begin with because either thepandredd has two OCs named Ted now, or we got a prequel or reboot of their original Ted OC) and it got over 1 Like which is all the attention i needed to post my notes lmao
(it just took me a while to post bc i got Too Into My Own Head about having maybe missed something, so i re-watched all thepandaredd's not-Comic-Book-Club videos (tho i do enjoy those, you should watch them) on his yt channel before posting this)
real quick, please note, i did leave all my headcanons in here because i am emotionally attached to them, but i did make said hcs labeled in blue and i made them tiny so you can know where to avoid them if you so wish. that was my big thing i want anybody reading to be aware of. onto the smaller notes of interest (no pun intended, i just prefer small-text when i babble and over-explain), these notes are messy chaotically organized. bc my brain is messy chaotically organized. (also: i have dyslexia and chronic memory loss, so please do forgive the accidental missspellings and the not-accidental "isn't this too much detail?" sections) this is all copy-pasted from my notes with some additions made for your guys' convenience (i put in links where i remembered links go (im sure i missed some citations i could have linked and forgot to even cite links in many other places, ugh, i do not want to cite everything, i gave up, i know my notes have evidence even if i didn't link the video every time, you fact-check, i'm tired lmao rip), i colored the text sometimes, i clarified things i theorize sometimes so things make sense to non-mind-readers, the works. i always speak to a hypothetical audience in my notes tho, so, shockingly, that wasn't actually added for you. idk why i p much always do that; i just accept it. but you're welcome). feel free to copy and edit this down further for your own use to update. i know i plan to update my private notes when new info/OCs come out, but idk if i will update this public post, ever, but hey! maybe!
also, above all: please follow thepandaredd (he/they) on your favorite social media of choice. support the guy on patreon. buy merch. all the good stuff. here's the linktree to all the important things related to thepandaredd's socials and whatnot. enjoy their creations, he's really fun lol
● was posted: 30 March 2024 ● was last updated: 2 April 2024 (reason for update: i realized i forgot the Reboot Hand, updated on March 31st + forgot to include a bullet-point on Bill being anti-smoking, and forgot to say who set Bill on fire, updated on April 1st + realized i got confused and my math on Bill's age was wrong as i originally said he was a minimum of "16+ years older than the 10 year-old Robin he met" when he is actually a minimum of 6+ years older to therefore make him a minimum of 16 years old to Robin's 10, updated on April 2nd)
↳ here is my "after posting this" thoughts if you are curious. it consists entirely of a friend of mine encouraging me to publish some texts i sent her answering "what was my favorite thing i learned?" and "do i have any questions?" (from 30 March 2024 original post) ↳ ill maybe make another one of these "after posting this thoughts" if i ever do a BIG update on this? who knows lol
also, please note i have yet to see any thepandaredd twitch streams (i just know my brain and my brain likes edited content, esp if it is short or short-ish bc my brain loves that shit. i like Dimension 20 more than Critical Role, i like ConnorDawg's gaming youtube channel more than CDawgVA's twitch or his VOD youtube channel that said edited gaming videos all come from, and i like audio dramatizations of books way more than audiobooks. it is just how i unfortunately or fortunately work), so idk if any additional info has been said there. i have heard good things about thepandaredd's Stream Dump youtube channel tho, so do go to that aforementioned linktree and check it out! if i ever am able to get my brain to accept twitch VODs, and not just zone out and disassociate when i should be engaged, i will delete this section (hence why it is under the Read More) and update accordingly ✌️
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★★★ AGENT OF THE REBOOT (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel? or maybe the TVA counts, idk, i havent seen "Loki")
● has one confirmed worker of an unknown name and unknown pronouns (hc/theories on pronouns: However, since this character's form can change, one can assume this agent character takes on the pronouns of the original form (eg. the character did take on Bill The Henchman's form and Bill uses he/him pronouns, so assumedly this agent character would accept he/him pronouns while using Bill's form. it feels respectful towards the original form. however, this is an argument one can use as a hc and is not confirmed. i hate JKR, but remember the scene where everyone used polyjuice potions to pretend to be Harry Potter in the last book and they all kept their original pronouns despite having Harry's face? like, as an explicit example, Hermione still had she/her pronouns while fully transformed into having Harry's body? weirdly pro-trans scene for a terf to have written. but yeah, same could go for this character. so an argument can be made both ways); but if i ever write about this agent, until proven otherwise: my hc and what i plan to do is either they/them or a neo-pronoun for this character due to a mixture of headcanon (kinda cool for an organization to be totally nameless, ageless, faceless, and genderless (maybe even of a omniuniversal hive-mind? idk, we don't know anything), so i assume this is that) and a lack of clarity/details on this specific agent character. but there you go, there are all the options one can assume for this agent character's pronouns. adjacently, personally, if i do a neo-pronoun for this character when writing: i think i'll either do the "the royal we", a classic; or i will do the definite article, as recently popularized in "Doctor Who", but idk, we'll see, might just do "they/them" for simplicity sake. or maybe we'll get pronouns if the Agent comes back, who fucking knows). (hc name of character: remember that Iron Man MCU joke about "What? Phil? No, his first name is Agent" about Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD? yeah, if i write for this character, i will be assuming an acceptable name is "Agent, just Agent")
● Introduced as "I'm an agent of The Reboot". unsure if organization is "The Reboot" or "Agents Of The Reboot" or if its called something else and he just did layman terms for it so that it was "agent of the reboot"? i have no idea. i personally most prefer Agents Of The Reboot, or layman terms if i or someone else can come up with a cooler name. (if this was Marvel and i had seen "Loki", there would probably be a Time Variance Authority (TVA) joke to make here). could also be just a one-man thing where Agent Of The Reboot is the character's name/species, and they are the only fucking one?? idk, we aren't supposed to know shit about this character, they are supposed to be a mystery, it makes sense that nothing is confirmed and that nothing makes sense, idk what to tell you
↳ ThePandaRedd normally introduces character name differentiations via a text box saying who is playing who, but this guy's just said " ? ". what a fun meta detail lol
● Helps characters reboot and "get to where you're supposed to go"
● This agent/The organization is responsible for "Crisis on Infinite Earth", "New 52" reboots
● Reboot ability is activated via snapping. very Thanos of the character, but sure, why not, it's a cool fucking ability
● Copies other person's face because "it's what your brain will recognize the easiest". Visually, to readers, it looks like a pixelated version of it (i assume that aspect is for viewer's clarity of who is speaking when. kind of like how "Avatar: The Last Airbender"'s air is supposed to be invisible (y'know, as air generally is) to the characters within the show, but is drawn so viewers can see what Aang is bending and how. but. like. for character design)
↳ Was introduced helping Bill The Henchman, more about that in Bill's section. Said Bill's storyline "got too convoluted" and instead of fixing the storyline, Bill was deemed for a reboot-- well, the whole universe was taken to start over, actually. 
↳ speaks with a slight computer-y voice-changer effect. makes the character kind of sound like they come from an 8-bit video-game.
↳ my hc: is that this kind of works as a mixture of "The Digital Circus" and @/cholv0q (of tiktok)'s Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design (their linktree is over here btw). where the character kind of just comes from this early-internet days (which is when there was more widespread bingeing and cross-references of comics, due to them being uploaded digitally and fan-forums citing themselves and whatnot (which, fun fact: apparently, January 1, 1983 is considered the Internet's official birthday. so that is the fucking earliest we could be talking about) (i know also the idea of comics in academia, like getting analyzed in essays, became more popularized around this time. but i don't know how much of that is causation and correlation. it's still considered new and novel for a campus to include graphic novels in a required reading list, though it is on the edge of being "uncommon but welcome" nowadays. English classes entirely focused on graphic novels, albums, and comics are still a v new-ish thing. but im getting off-topic, that was just my experience in going to college in the ~2020s anyway). and ergo, comic companies had to care a bit more about continuity and it was less of a "well, it depends on the writer if they care about that" thing. hence, the kind of "the demand formed and so the need was filled" creation of this character/organization? (not as in "ah, i see a job oppurtunity here" type of "demand formed, and we can fulfill that need". but as in "the universe is ever-expanding and ever-repairing itself" kind of mysterious cosmic horror. kind of like Marvel Comics' The Watchers but 50× the eldritch horror. like whatever force in the universe made Earth's deep sea creatures and DC-Comics-version-of-Mars' white martians? that force played some early desktop computer horror games and said "let me put this on my pinterest board as inspo for this new project i'm working on" type of shit. nobody knows where this fucker/these fuckers came from, they just didn't exist before and suddenly they came into being, fully formed. very unsettling) and due to the tech of the time, the voice filter and pixelation of the face make even more sense. how does "The Digital Circus" apply to this? just the sense of "omnipotence in an old fucking desktop computer technology" really. as for the @/cholv0q's Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design bit, i just really fucking like that Chol included this bit about "changing[ this character's vocal abilities to come from] an old radio[ on his chest,] where his real voice comes from, instead of his mouth or throat". i really fucking like that idea so im yoinking it and switching the tech away from a 1920s radio. and i think that would be fucking sick to apply to this Agent character considering their shapeshifting, pixelation, implied vocal changes (i assume the voice changes with the form and its not That Voice with every form, just That Voice Filter ontop of the everchanging voice), voice filter, and general uncanny-valley-ness. just imagine a pixelated version of your face talking to you about rebooting your life while never opening their mouth, as the uncanny low-rez doppleganger version of you talks to you through a fucking 80s PC speaker lodged in its throat/clavicle area, sounding like the earliest versions of a voice-acted horror video-game. i love it. i think it maintains the mystery about "how the fuck, whomst the fuck" while upping the creepy to be even creepier, to me at least. plus, then there's the whole "snaps to reboot" ability, yes, but now we got the "Video-Game Boss with a Second Phase" built in right there because if snapping does all that reality-shattering/-bending nonsense then what the fuck do you think happens if the Agent does finally open their fucking mouth???
● also, this symbol flashed up while Bill the Henchman fell post-snap. i normally wouldn't think to screenshot such a thing, but i thought it was odd upon my most recent re-watch (bc anxiety about posting this publicly and maybe missing something, you get it) that it kind of has a hand-shape inside it? which a hand symbol + the act of snapping with one's hand correlates in an interesting way, not to mention the timing of this appearing IMMEDIATELY after the snap. but maybe it is a comic reference i am missing? maybe it is related to the Agents of the Reboot getting their own merch of some kind someday? do they get a logo, does that make sense for them to have, are they a team or...? idk. but i added it here just in case it is pertinent in some way (excuse the low resolution)
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● the fucker (/tone indicator: affectionate) is within this compilation video, i will only link this video one more time in Bill The Henchman's section (below, under the "People" section)
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★★★ RED HOOD'S ANTI-HERO ACCIDENT ASSURANCES (DC only. created in a comment within thepandaredd's tiktok that then thepandaredd replied to and acted out. the comment was by @/timelordpoet1273 on tiktok. i probably didn't need to write this one but it made me laugh so im including it)
● timelordpoet273's comment: "Red Hood just starts his own insurance company. He names it Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. Nobody answers the phone, and the voiceail is swear words."
● thepandaredd, uh, i mean, Jason Todd's said voicemail (yes, i made a fucking transcription lmao pls let me live, i have chronic memory loss and my notes are my lifeblood): [voice 1] "Hello. And thank you for calling Red Hood's Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. If you are calling in regard to one of our anti-heroes, please stay on the line for a recorded message." [voice 2] "Now I know for a goddamn fact that you did not just call an insurance agency to try to file a claim against a bunch of anti-heroes that kill people for a living. Do you have any idea how much ammo fucking costs? We are out here spending our entire life savings to buy you the briefest little moments of the only life you will ever live, and you have the audacity to try and file a claim against us? What the fuck did we do, shoot out your knee-cap? Fuck you. Whatever we did is going to save you down the fucking line. Goddamn— Hang up your fucking phone."
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★★★ SUPERB PROWERS: SUPERHERO INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")
↳ colloquially, it's apparently called "Superb Prowers Insurance Agency"
● Motto: "Superb Prowers insurance. If it's not a bird and it's not a plane, give us a ring and we'll do our thang." (note: Todd Andrews hates saying this at the beginning of every phone-call)
● Covers civillian damages done by superheroes + super-battles. "Our team mostly covers superhero and super-powered related accidents and injuries?"
↳ Does not cover supervillains (from damages done to said villains by superheroes) (however: Bill the Henchman was covered by them for the loss of his bones)
● is up the street from Vitriol Vindications (which is insurance for supervillains and the damages done to them by superheroes)
● confirmed workers: Todd Andrews (is one of their representatives, as in "I represent Superb Prowers Agency". more on Todd Andrews is below, has their own section with the other OCs in "People"); maybe/maybe not to be confused with Todd the Goonion Rep (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, The First Universal Henchmen's Union, is below, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") bc idk, guess they could all be the same guy? idk, i would assume no but maybe
↳ Todd Andrews' outfit is in their own character section, which could arguably be following the company's dress-code for its workers or be their employees' uniform or something
↳ in the first video Todd Andrews used a cell phone and paced around. second video on, Todd Andrews is seated, assumedly at a computer, and is wearing a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. assumedly, the later is standard for all workers, the former was just Todd Andrews briefly based on materials thepandaredd had available for said skit, i mean an eccentric habit or done for the purpose of the documentary-interview style that only happened in the first video
● only one villain has called the agency, and it was Killer Shark, which that is both his civillian- and villain-name. so idk if the workers call villains by their civillian or villain identity when talking directly to them (i also assume "Cassandra", who is a few bullet-points down but still within the Superb Prowers section, is not Todd Andrews calling Cassandra Cain (or any other DC character phoentically named "Cassandra/Kassandra/etc") by her first name, esp since thepandaredd likes to play Cassandra as nonverbal in skits and Todd Andrews was on the phone. but there is also ways to use live-captions and text-to-speech, along with Deaf/HOH and nonverbal web-cam/chat services to have a hotline person call for you and whatnot, but i assume that's not what is happening here, i digress. i assume it's just a random Cassandra, and workers don't call heroes by their civillian forename)
● Insurances:
↳ ● Flashpoint Insurance: for damages in alternate timelines
↳ ● offers 2 different Gotham plans. (1) The Batman Plan; the Batman Plan has a Reckless Robin extension (only covers current Robin/s. does not cover former Robins). (2) The Bat-Family Plan (assumedly covers former Robins)
↳ ● Crisis Coverage: is a little different from Flashpoint coverage (is not explained how lol)
↳ ● Green Arrow coverage
↳ ● Bird Insurance: coverage for bird-themed superheroes, not actual birds 
↳ ● Multi-Verse Insurance: "No, sir, if a alternate universe version of you has multi-verse insurance, it does mean you are also insured."
↳ ● has Home Insurance and Buisness Insurance ("Uh, let me check. Hey, boss, are lairs covered under home insurance or buisness insurance?")
↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "Okay, well, answer me this: did Superman punch your wall or did he get flown through your wall as the result of a punch?" (later) "No, you see, you're covered for him punching your wall. Not being punched through your wall." ■ "How many times do I need to tell you, Cassandra? We stopped covering sky beams last year after the Zod attack." ■ "Did you get punched by a Robin or by a former Robin? 'Cause you have the Batman plan, and that only covers one of those." ■ "What do you mean the city is just gone? What does that mea--?!" ■ "Yes, but do you have proof your house was still there before Coast City was destroyed?" ■ "Can you confirm that it was a bat-arang that hit you?" ■ "Okay, but which Superboy? Yes, it's important!" ■ "Okay, but did you get the license plate number? I don't care if it was the Bat-Mobile! Yes or no?" ■ "Okay, but which color arrow were you attacked by? No, it is important, you only have Green Arrow coverage." ■ "M'am-- M'am! The premiums are lower in Iowa than Metropolis because it's Metropolis."
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★★★ VITRIOL VINDICATIONS: VILLAINS INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")
● "Vitriol Vindications: verifying villainous violations, how may I help you?"
● is insurance coverage for supervillain (for damages done to them by superheroes) (does not cover Goon Union violation claims)
● is down the street from Superb Prowers: Superhero Insurance
● knows supervillains' civillian identities
● hotline workers can curse on the phone (eg. "I'm sorry, sir, but if you didn't want food poisoning then why in the hell did you eat a Joker Fish in the first place?")
↳ also, they can smoke while on the job
● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). spoke with a gravely voice, assumedly from smoking as he smokes at work (what i assume is a cigarette anyway? or a cigar? it could also be a joint, i got no clue), and also an accent (im not good at identifying accents, idk from where exactly, it sounded vaguely the East Coast variety of American). appearance of said character includes a brown jacket with sherpa lining over a black shirt, had gray pants on. (my hc for name: Sol Abagnale. the Abagnale part is in reference after "Frank Abagnale Jr", a real life white-collar criminal who has a famous film as well as semi-famous musical under the title "Catch Me If You Can" (he also kind of inspired the show "White-Collar" in the sense of how the irl Abagnale became an expert consolutant helping catch other criminals. he has recorded lectures and everything, his analytical work is insane) where one of his most routine crimes was conning banks and insurance and whatnot, and also the IRS caught his dad (Frank Senior) who Junior learned a lot of his crimes from. feels fitting. the first name has to do with me kind of fudging the name "Saul" into a more unisex phonetic variant, "Sol" (which, according to BehindTheName.com, the Jewish version of "Sol" is masculine and the Spanish+Portugeese version of "Sol" is feminine, so "Sol" itself is unisex enough for me. though, technically Saul and Sol are not related, they do SOUND very similar which is the sticking point for me), in tribute to Saul Goodman of "Breaking Bad"/"Better Call Saul" fame who did a lot of insurance fraud as a lawyer. so my pitch is combining the name of two white-collar criminals, yeah, what can i say, i love intertextual references)
↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable here on whether or not if it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and whatnot
↳ workers wear a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.
● Insurances:
↳ ● Life insurance
↳ ● Anti-Life insurance: "M'am, I'm sorry but death by Parademons is nor covered under the Anti-Life insurance plan." (which? i assume?? is a censored version of a Death insurance plan? idk anything about insurance vocabularly terms)
↳ ● Discrimination in the workplace? (im surprised that isn't Goonion paperwork, idk) ("Well, if you didn't want discrimination in the workplace, then you shouldn't have been a goon for Gorilla Grodd.")
↳ ● the Two-Face Policy ("While I cannot exactly stop you from getting the Two-Face policy, I will warn you that coverage there is pretty 50/50." → "I'm sorry, I had to, it was right there.")
↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "No, Mr. Cobblepot, you cannot put life insurance policy on your penguins if you are the ones who strapped bombs to them." ■ "What do you mean your contract is in the form of a riddle?"
↳ also not a type of insurance per sey but idk what this is but i feel like i should note it down: "Oh, no, you'd be surprised: the Joker actually offers an incredible dental plan."
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★★★ EVIL LLP: VILLIANOUS ACCOUNTING (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if such exists)
● "Evil LLP: villainous accounting, how may I help you?"
● calls supervillains both by their civillian names and their villain names, but WAY moreso calls them by their villain names
● fun fact: it is a fandom joke that the Joker does not mess with the IRS (thepandaredd theorizes it is because the Joker doesn't want to end up like Al Capone and get put in actual-"you can't plead insanity this time"-prison), so Joker would be diligent about tax season (and hate it) and contacting his accountant (and hate that too), neato
● people working the hotline can curse to the customers
● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). said character's appearance includes having worn glasses as well as a maroon-purpleish button-up, long-sleeve and with gray pants. drinks out of a red, tall drinkwear (no lid, no straw, not a tumbler) which is an odd enough detail i thought i would mention it (maybe he works remote and it is their kitchenware? maybe the Evil LLP office just has that type of kitchenware? idk. i know its just thepandaredd's kitchenware and isn't meant to be scrutinized, but i am detail-oriented and have AuDHD, let me live). (hc name: Brooklyn Kennedy Collector. because i recenrly found out Collector is a real surname and that feels fitting for an accountant. also, i think "The Collector" is a kind of cool villain allias? maybe this accountant was a taxes-related villain before pivoting? idk, probably not, but what i do really like is the idea of experienced villains scaring newbies with boogeyman stories of "The Collector" and about not paying your taxes on time as a way of hazing them before their first appointment with this specific character from Evil LLP who is like "What? No? Turbotax is way scarier than me, the fuck". as for Brooklyn, it is unisex, literally means "broken land" which feels fitting for a neutral person many territorial villains go to, as in the literal "groundbreaking" ceremony. but also Brooklyn can lead to the nickname "Brookie" which i think would be funny for this character to be like "...Only my [insert loved one here. eg: signicant other, sibling, etc] can get away with calling me that" when villains inevitably make Brookie The Bookie jokes. and i usually don't add middle-names to my hc names bc i usually only do middle-names if the culture the character is from has a middle-name as part of its naming conventions. but i gave this hc name one because "Brooklyn Collector" does not sound quiet like a real person's name, to me. but if you told me i went to school with a "Brooklyn Kennedy Collector" then that sounds vaguely familar and id be like "Oh? Remind me who they are?" rather than "What? We did?" with disbelief in my tone. i did look up what the name Kennedy means tho, on my beloved BehindTheName search-engine, which means either "armored head" (cool!) or "mishappen head" (rude!) which i think encompasses the level of mixed sanity-and-insanity you have to have in order to be villain's accountant lol)
↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable in case it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and so on
↳ workers wears a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.
● tax account comments and questions since i know next to nothing of tax info and will likely need this as reference if i ever include this company: "Joker, I need your tax returns yesterday. What the fuck do you mean you haven't filed them?" ■ "Black Manta, it says here you have an expense for the League of Villainous Chimney Sweepers, what the fuc--" ■ "So let me make sure I am understanding this correctly. You are going to hire a bunch of people to hide trophies all throughout the city? With what fucking money, Nigma?" ■ "Penny-Pincher, if you pay me again by mailing me a literal bag of fucking pennies, I will find you." ■ "Joker, I just got a call from the Goonion that you haven't been paying your workers? ...No, not killing them is not a form of legal tender!" ■ "Wait a minute, you buy all the penguins? Who is selling you that many penguins?! I thought you just found them!" ■ "Wait, Bizzaro, do you have the check or not? I don't understand!" ■ "Well, don't come crying to me when VOSCA gets on your ass. Yes, I said 'VOSCA': Villainous OSCA, keep up!" (i assume this was a continuation of the last line to the Joker, it feels implied, but idk) ■ "How do none of you understand how money works?!"
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★★★ THE FIRST UNIVERSAL HENCHMAN'S UNION (aka: THE GOONION, or sometimes THE GOON UNION) (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if henchman union exists there of if the Goonion is implied to also be there) (i have shockingly little info on this considering how often it is brought up. huh. NOTE TO SELF: to rewatch some of thepandaredd's youtube compilation videos to see if im missing anything)
● Their motto: "Facere Malum Stercore Tuto" which is Latin for "Do bad shit safely"
↳ according to thepandaredd's merch: "Established in 2000"? i feel like that is a joke or reference i am missing, which makes me unsure of how literally to take it. i would've assumed it was older. i mean. i guess it technically could have been? like, in the sense that these guys are labeled the "First Universal Goonion" which implies maybe some villains had their own union of goons (definitely not Joker considering his implied VOSCA violations, above, under Evil LLP's section, still within the "Associations" heading) before it became a overall branching DC thing? which, if so, i do not envy the fuckers who had to unionize the Joker or Lexcorp goons, they probably did some union-busting, esp pre-2000 if that as the year the Goonion became universal in that sense, jfc. (edit of note: i have found the Todd The Goon Rep skit within the 2021 July compilation video, i am definitely correct about Lexcorp union-busting at least ■ edit of note ×2: i aM FULLY CORRECT. 2024 March 1st (or the compilation due to come out after March is over, since it is still March as of editing this docket) has a skit with Bill The Henchman doing work-trips with long flights for the Joker. and the Joker says "Hahaha, [The Goonion] is not a real thing!" and "Just to remind you, if I see you peddling that Goonion garbage all over that Comic-con, I swear to god, I will come to your house and rip those femurs out myself". so the Joker has dismissively resentful anti-Goonion opinions to the point that would imply he would love to union-bust/ignore it.) (or maybe "universal" is a reference to "cross-fandoms/brands"? because there is a Cobra Command, "G.I. Joe" joke pre-Bill-reboot (look at Bill The Henchman's section below, under the "People" heading)? which their most famous and long-running comic form is with Marvel Comics (though they also had a run with DC Comics for two individual issues, as well as Devil's Due, IDW Publishing, Custom Comics, and more). but, as aforementioned: idk how the reboot plays into that, and also idk how seriously i should take that since it was a gag for a one-off skit. idk...) (edit: wait, i forgot Marvel Comics also has The Solomon Institute For The Criminally Insane (also, and more popularly, known as: The Taskmaster's Academy), which is a trade-school where Anthony Masters (Taskmaster) teaches henchmen how to hench and get them a type of goon-certification as per the nature of trade-school. which, fun fact, the students there are called "Taskmaster's Acolytes", and originally this school started as a front? but then Taskmater went "actually, I have found my passion" which is aw, so sweet, wish it wasn't about murder and crime. but yeah, i checked the wiki because i couldn't remember if we ever saw anyone's certificate and, apparently, graduating meant you were now cleared for super-villany. so while youre there, you're a henchman. when you graduate, you're a villain. wild. though still not a henchman union, like, irl, we have both "places to get a teaching certification" and also a "union for teachers". this is just adjacent additional item to Marvel's henchmen situation, not an equivalent to the Goonion if that makes sense. so. uh, there is also that in the middle of this "is the Goonion omniuniversal?" spiral i am in, and that is Marvel-only as far as i am aware. still worth mentioning tho)
● there's possibly member-training? assumedly it is villain specific training, as you get hired then trained bc we have seen that before (evidence: (1) a skit within this compilation where a newbie was given the run-down working to the Joker about the dress-code and "just take the fall" if Batman/Robin come (Bill the Henchman was in the background, off-screen), and (2) another skit from this compilation where Bill The Henchman himself was translating the meanings to the various Bat-fam symbols to a newbie goon and the Red Hood interrupted) but maybe it is Goonion overall-villain's-henchman training, i have no clue. but in a skit (from 2021 October) where a Mr. Freeze goon (actually is the Red Hood faking being a goon the whole time? or knocked said goon out and took their place? unclear) was being given shit by Bill for not wearing a mask during COVID (more on the Goonion's opinion on COVID face-masks below in a few bullet-points) came back with a Cobra helmet that said goon (The Red Hood) had trouble taking off, Bill grumbled "How the fuck did you make it out of training?" before helping (could be referring to Cobra training or Goonion? again, idk)
↳ which there are Bat-fam symbol code btw, idk if that skit's code was for all goons or just that specific villain's workplace: Yellow circle = Bruce Wayne (Batman) is in a good mood, will probably let you keep knee-caps □ No yellow circle, just a black bat = you're probably going to lose a couple of bones from Batman (idk if that is accurate post Bill the Henchman's reboot. anyway.) ■ Any variation of a red bat, spikey or otherwise = don't bother screaming, gunshots will be heard and that is enough warning. Likely is Kate Kane (Batwoman) who does not have a no-gun rule. could also be Jason Todd (Red Hood) who also doesn't have a no-gun rule. also, sometimes the Red Hood has a red V-mask, and sometimes Red Hood's design is closer to a red bird design on his chest. ■ Blue bird or blue V-symbol = Dick Grayson (Nightwing) will give you a couple bruises and send you home ■ Yellow bat = probably be worried. □ Red hair (Barbara Gordon (Batgirl → Oracle)), probably going to get the shit kicked out of you, same as No-yellow-circle Batman. □ No hair and no mouth (Cassandra Cain (Batgirl → Orphan)), same rules as red bat, you will probably dead. □ Blonde hair (Stephanie Brown (Robin, Batgirl → Spoiler)), "you can kill that one". which. that is so foul, Jay Morton, what the fuck lol □ "[Generally,] The yellow bat follows the R-rule." ■ The R-rule = "Every single Robin has their own fucking deal." □ If the R is blocky = probably not going to get beat up too bad, unless the kid is very mad, then you might get thrown off a roof. (definitely Jason Todd (Robin → The Red Hood), maybe also Dick Grayson (Robin → Nightwing). i know Jason Todd threw a domestic abuser off a roof and claimed the guy "fell". idk if Dick ever did similar) □ if it is a Spikey R with no yellow circle = Tim Drake (Robin → Red Robin) get hit in the face with a metal pole a few times. same for if it is a Yellow Bird, Tim Drake (Red Robin) will just be hitting you harder □ if the R has just one spike = you will likely die bc Damian Wayne (Robin) has a sword. Red Hood also has a sword, but only sometimes, it's mainly Damian's thing ■ idk why i would ever need this for a fic or something but now i fucking got it just in case, i guess. glad that hypotheical-me won't have to search for this. but yeah, idk if this system is Goonion stuff or a specific villain or just something Gotham-henchmen set up independently, but ill put it here for lack of anywhere better
↳ Bill the Henchman said to Todd His Friend From High School that "it's a really rough career to get into, just to let you know. There's a ton of onboarding processes, super-villains all have their own hiring things, there's the Goonion that you got to sign up for just by obligation."
● Goonion buildings don't allow alcohol in their facilities (Bill took a break in one such building, an unnamed co-worker interupted his break and asked for a drink, and Bill said there was no alcohol here for that reason. idk how the logistics work on if villain buildings (or safehouses) have to be Goonion, if goons prefer to take breaks in a seperate Goonion building in which case does the commute count as part of their break, is this just the overall building similar to a temp agency building in which case why was Bill taking a break in one...? cool detail in theory, very confusing in application to someone as ignorant in temp-work as me). this was mentioned in the Man-Bat skit within 2021 November's compilation
↳ very likely works often with VOSCA (Villainous OSCA, was brought up in Evil LLP's section above, still under the "Associations" heading) ■ also has some sort of connection to Superb Prowers (section is above, still within the "Associations" heading) since their insurance covered Bill's loss of bones
● Works all over the country, sending goons on assignment as needed and where and with what uniforms and etc
● Mask mandates (for COVID) - report to the Goonion for not wearing one. even villain henchmen (esp if their villain is an evil scientist) gotta stay safe ✌️ (Bill the Henchman is esp big on that they protect each other in this way)
● Goons in the union get breaks (as in, like 30 min break, lunch break, etc)
● i assume there is some protection for long-distance assignments? like, Bill the Henchman (Bill's section is below, under the "People" heading) got sent on a 16-hour flight by the Joker to give Bane a pie and another flight to go to Comic-Con. i assume there was financial compensation (both in the sense of a wage increase for the inconvenience, as i know a few jobs get that (many more... don't, but hey, maybe the Goonion got it) because the idea of "your shift hours" also becomes messier though that is more likely if Bill is paid hourly; as well as not paying for your own plane ticket or Comic-con ticket in these examples) and other such work-travel-trips protections (evidentally, there is no protection for how much buffer-time between said trips there has to be, as Bill was sent to Comic-con immediately after the pie but still)
● confirmed members: Bill the Professional Henchman (look at Bill's section in "People" for his co-workers. i don't know which ones are in the union and which ones are out of union. he is very big on the Goonion and helping each other and whatnot, carries merch and everything, biggest advocate, love that for him) ■ Alex (pronouns unknown. was mentioned in Todd the Goonion Rep's skit as a confirmed Goonion member, working as a Bane henchman who is a victim of wage-theft and not-up-to-code company housing via pit/sewers. assumedly is not the same Alex that Ted works with (most of the info on this Ted section's can be found below, under the "People" heading. bc, yeah, for one thing, that Alex lives in a duplex and not in the pits/sewers). Alex wears a beige-white sleeveless torn up t-shirt with a black beanie. will not be getting their own section as this is all i know about Alex)
↳ note: members have ID badges (example of Bill's is in Bill The Henchman's character section)
● confirmed workers: Todd The Goonion Rep (look at that Todd's section down below, under "People". also, technically Todd's job-title is much more formal title of "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchmen's Union" but Goonion Rep is snappier); maybe/maybe not confused with Todd Andrews (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, Superb Powers, is above, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") because i guess all these Todds could be the same guy, but i assume they are not, but you can feel free to hc them as such
↳ Todd The Goonion Rep's outfit is in their section, which is notable here because it could arguably be following the company's dress-code, be their employees' uniform, and so on. assumedly, since members have ID badges, so should Todd The Goonion Rep, thepandaredd just hasn't had the prop yet? fair lmao
↳ not "competition" but definitely confirmed people to not be on the workers' side: Alan (who is a Lexcorp union-buster (lawyer?) person in sunglasses, black suit with black button-up and gold tie. pronouns unknown) ■ "Matches" Malone(?) (which is a DC-canon undercover-alter-ego of Bruce Wayne (Batman) when he wants to try to submerge himself in the crime world)
● their workers can curse on-call (eg. "Oh, yeah, to be perfectly candid: I hear some fucking wild stories.")
● their workers (and also their members? i think?? p sure that is a yes) tend to call villains by their villain-name rather than their civilian-name
● not technically "Goonion info" but is important stuff that have implications about how the place is run (all said in the Todd The Goonion Rep skit): "Riddler, how many times do I need to fucking tell you that: if you are going to use goons as part of your traps, you need to have multiple signed consent forms by both them, a witness, and yourself beforehand?" ■ "As the traveling representative of the Goonion, my job is to travel around the country, talking to various goons and henchmen of both major and minor super-villains, just to make sure they are being both treated fairly and safely within the workplace. Which, honestly, they, uh, they very rarely are." ■ Todd: "So, Alex, it says here that you are a Bane henchmen. However, I can't seem to find any wages listed. So, what does the pay for that look like?" / Alex: "Of course I don't have wages listed, we don't get paid. ...Wait, are we supposed to be getting paid?" / Todd: "Mmhm. I see. I also can't seem to find an address." / Alex: "Oh, I was thinking you were going to ask about that. We all kind of live communally in a pit, or sometimes the sewer." / Todd: "Do you know if this pit is up to code?" / Alex: "I mean, yeah, it's a fine pit. It's probably up to code. We get cable and everything. But, uh, now that you mention it: we do shit in buckets and live in cells, so I'm not particularly sure." / Todd: "Oh, that is definitely a violation of some kind." ■ Todd: "Who the fuck steals both of someone's femurs?" / Bill the Professional Henchmen: "Oh, yeah, you think that's bad? I should tell you about where his kid cut my fucking hand off." / Todd: "His kid did what?!" ■ "Y'know, contrary to popular belief: crime pays very, very well. Like, shit, what do you think, like, 90% of Gotham's economy is? It's just that often times you need to enforce that the workers are actually going to see the fruits of that labor." ■ Todd: "(Groaningly sighs) Hello, Alan." / Alan: "Hello, Todd." / Todd: "Let me guess, you're here on behalf of Lexcorp again to try to break up the union." / Alan: "Now, Todd, you know that we at Lexcorp are not against unions. We simply believe they are detrimental to our bottom-lin— uh, I mean, our overall workforce. And, in fact, I am actually here to join your union. For I think that I too deserve equal safety and pay and rights." / Todd: "Buddy, I work with professional criminals on a daily basis. I can see that you are wearing a wire." / Alan: "Now, how could you say such a... silly... thing? Abort, abort, I need to get out of here." / Todd: "If you just joined, you wouldn't have to piss in bottles anymore!" / Alan: "The official statement of Lexcorp is that we do not, in fact, have to do that!" ■ "If you would like to support your local community of contract criminals, goons, and henchmen: we do have t-shirts available. And, as the motto always says: do bad shit, safely." ■
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★★★ VILLAINS OF (HERO) SUPPORT GROUP (exists for DC and Marvel, created by thepandaredd. i definitely do not need to include this, but i thought it would be funnier if i did)
● there is one for Captain America (p safe to assume it is Steve Rogers' Captain America. Marvel) and one for Superman (p safe to assume it is Clark Kent's Superman. DC) so far. the therapist in charge of either is unnamed, but both have glasses and button-ups (tho the Superman one came in late after getting black-out drunk and taking a nap, and came in with a black t-shirt)
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----------------- people ----------------
★★★ TODD ANDREWS (DC Comics OC)
● unknown pronouns
● works hotline for the insurance company called Superb Prowers (listed above under "Associations"). spoke will Bill The Professional Henchman to help him with his insurance over the phone for his bone-loss claim
● appearance: wears glasses. Wore a white button-up long-sleeve in one video, wore a black t-shirt in one video, wore a black long-sleeve in a third video; every time had black pants(? or at least dark. may be sweatpants, which fair). Plays with a pen a lot (in one video, i think it is a capped pen; in another video it is, i think, a clicky pen which makes Todd slowly and silently clicks at one point while speaking/listening to a call. and i say "plays with" and what i mean is "has it in Todd's hand, between their fingers" a lot. i assumed Todd uses it like a fidget to spin or tap Todd's own chin with, but that is not seen; but Todd slowly + silently clicking the clicky variety is seen. this is too much overexplanation about a fucking pen)
↳ wears a headset with microphone attachment for work. not wireless. sits in a swivel chair with arms at work
● i assume this Todd Andrews is not the same Todd that Bill The Henchman went to high school with. (also, is definitely not the Tood The Goonion Rep) more on why i think that in Todd-(assumedly-not-Andrews)'s (as well as Todd-of-the-Goonion's) section below, is still within the "People" section
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★★★ "THE GUY" (DC Comics OC)
↳ as in "Alfred, call the guy"
● unknown name. confirmed to go by he/him pronouns
● adoption social worker agent, maybe insurance agent? probably, i assume. nothing is confirmed, which is the point
● no further specific details known. i will never make hcs about this character; he is supposed to be a mystery
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★★★ KEVIN (their first Marvel OC! that's rare for thepandaredd! yay!)
● unknown surname, unknown pronouns.
● was in exactly one skit about Marvel, which is unusual for thepandaredd, almost everybody else is a DC Comics OC
● designed the Sentinels' visually (The Sentinel Project are the giant robots who hunt mutants in X-Men). im ngl, i think thepandaredd forgot Bolivar Trask specifically already exists lol but maybe not, as thepandaredd did remember to include the headline "Trask Industries (mid 60s)" in the tiktok. hey! maybe Trask did the idea and/or engineering and hired Kevin as an artist, or maybe Trask pitched the idea after Kevin sold him on it and it's like a "Steve Jobs and all the unnamed workers who came up with the iPhone ideas" scenario (Kevin did at one point say "The President loved it", so Bolivar Trask could be President, sure), idk, i only know of Trask vaguely from the 90s "X-Men: The Animated Series" show i watched as a toddler and from the "X-Men: Days of Future Past" movie i watched a decade ago in theaters, maybe i'm the one forgetting shit, i dont pay attention to what is the generally accepted Bolivar Trask lore bc i dont care about the character, personally. Peter Dinklage is cool tho
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★★★ BILL (THE PROFESSIONAL HENCHMAN) (DC Comics OC)
info that is unknown bc of The Reboot Agent stuff (the video of which i am only linking once and it is here) is [[[ bracketed ]]] already but i will also make it [[[ green ]]] inside the brackets for your guys' convenience
● he/him, unknown surname. (hc full name: William "Bill" Bail. i have a whole scene planned for Bill attempting to be vulnerable by giving an OC of mine his surname as a sign of trust, as he doesn't do that as a way of protecting his relatives/identity from the villains that employ him, followed by my OC fully not believing his surname is real and busting Bill's chops about it. it works for my needs, and i personally dont agree with the handful of fans i see that hc his surname should be Hench or Henchman though i do love their energy, that is a v funny joke. i just wanted a different variety of a jokey surname. uh, but, yeah! Bail is a real surname, and the surname itself is actually a diminutive of "bailiff". as in the job. which a bailiff is a officer of the court who keeps order and "looks after prisoners" (ie. "A bailiff is a manager, overseer or custodian – a legal officer to whom some degree of authority or jurisdiction is given. Bailiffs are of various kinds and their offices and duties vary greatly.") which is all a vast simplification of bailiffs but i think it is a cute simplification for Bill's character specifically)
● confirmed to have worked runs with Joker, Two-Face, Black Mask, Penguin, Mr Freeze, Riddler (and also maybe Lex Luthor? it is implied due to how much Bill knows about Lexcorp working conditions, and also the Jimmy Olsen stuff as mentioned below)
↳ idk if this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ an unnamed co-worker worked at Cobra Commander (Cobra Headquarters in Springfield) earlier that week, is one of the places the Goonion sends people. Bill maybe has, maybe has not been there? idk, he seemed to know about how to take the helmet off but maybe Bill just saw the latch. hard to tell when the whole dialogue is "There's a latch" when he's already looking at the helmet. i assume no, Bill has not worked for Cobra, because he said "there's a latch" so late in the skit and also from what he said "Wait, so that's another villain's henchman?! That's even worse!" so he didn't know the uniform(?) which implies he didn't work there (which is odd bc he also said "Yes, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable to just have in your car?! Why do you even have that?!" so he recognized it. i guess he just thought it was cosplay instead of another henchman uniform, idk). you could make an argument either way, i guess, hc away lol ]]]
↳ answers phonecalls as "You got Bill."
↳ texts his bosses stuff like "On it, boss."/"Yes, sir. You got it, boss."/"On my way. Will do, boss."/"Yes, sir. On it, boss."/"Okay, boss. Be back soon." even though he'd rather yell (this is mainly @Joker)
↳ (this happened post-reboot) knows Jimmy Olsen well enough that Jimmy recognizes him on sight alone; meaning he has very fucking likely also worked for Metropolis villains (such as but not limited to Lex Luthor) and has faced Superman often
● appearance: generally always wears a black ball-cap hat (didn't use to way back but it is a thing by now), a necklace tucked into his shirt (i cant tell what his necklace is. is it a sparkplug necklace? → edit: NOPE. it's from 2022 January's PO Box Unboxing, it's "Skele-Gro: Bone Regenerator". it's a tube of amber-yellow liquid, with a pale yellow label, on a silver chain, with a silver skull-and-crossbones charm). he dresses in all black most of the time. generally wears t-shirts or long-sleeves, usually of the monochromatic variety (almost always a gray/black plain shirt with no graphic, except for in "How the Bat Boy treat henchmen" skit where he wore a few different shirts, and the skit with him and the 16 hour flight stuff where he wore thepandaredd's Lord Deathman merch shirt) (the red-gray henley Bill wore in his first ever tiktok appearance as the first goon ever beat up by a Robin? is generally ignored, hence the strike-through here). and sometimes wears a black jacket (which, generally, is a black denim jacket). does possess Goonion merch.
↳ optional-to-read waffling about the Skele-grow necklace: further confirmation of this indeed being necklace that Bill wears is in this 2022 July compilation, where Bill forgot to tuck his necklace into his shirt and you can see the amber-gold Skele-Grow bottle and the teeny skull-and-crossbones charm. more importantly, you can also see it in the September 2022 compilation, which is the one that features Bill getting shot by Alfred Pennyworth which then leads him into the reboot event in April 2023 compilation where he doesn't have a necklace? but that could be just a prop error (either in the sense "it is there, it just accidentally was hidden from the camera by being tucked into the shirt and whatnot" or in the sense that "it was forgotten on accident but was meant to be there"). plus the Instagram post mentioned a few bullet points down says Bill still has a necklace. i just dont know if it is the same one or not. i, personally, see the necklace as an extension or representation of Bill's connection with his audience and creator, and therefore connected to his Fourth Wall Breaks and everything Madoka-Magic-y i mention in a later bullet-point within Bill's section. so i will be very interested to see if this necklace is lost or not (to simplify his rebooted form additionally in the sense of less bone loss, maybe even no more Fourth Wall breaks? idk, maybe. the Agent Of The Reboot was Fourth Wall breaking a lot and Bill was confused, maybe it was out of overwhelmed panic but all those references went over Bill's head. there wasn't any "You can see them too?!" or anything. but who knows! could just be a prop error. maybe when the instagram post listed in lower bullet-point within this section talked about "a necklace always tucked into his shirt", it about the Skele-grow necklace, maybe it was about a wholly new necklace, whooo knowwwss ...i personally would like to know tho, so i do hope thepandaredd does another untucked-necklace Bill video so i can see if it Bill is still wearing a Skele-grow necklace or is it a new necklace)
↳ mid-reboot/post-reboot version has a white streak in his hair, confirmed in the tiktok Agent Reboot video itself idk the video's title
↳ in the Agent Reboot video, Bill also freaks out about how his hat has changed. which the hat he wore when Alfred Pennyworth shot him for breaking in to get Lord Deathman was a plain, all black baseball cap. and mid-reboot freak-out looks like an identically plain, all black baseball cap (to me, anyway). maybe that was a gag that went over my head. maybe it was a sentiment about how well-cared for Bill's things are that he would notice someone switching out his hat for an identical one like it. idk, to my inexperienced eye, it looks like the same hat lol
↳ optional aspect of appearance: leg-braces as "femur transplants are not fool-proof".
↳ note: most of this info comes from thepandaredd's 25 February 2024 instagram post (+ the leg-braces bit was posted by thepandaredd in that post's comment section) unless otherwise stated
↳ also, in the June 2022 compilation there is a PO Box Unboxing, an unnamed fan gave Bill his own Goonion badge. so that is also part of Bill's props assumedly. unlike most of the other badges we have seen in thepandaredd (vertical), the Goonion badge is the only horizontal one which makes me specifically happy bc i prefer horizontal badges. anyway. the info on it, i cannot read because it is too pixelated even at youtube's highest resolution at 2160p, alas. but thepandaredd reads out some of its info says the following: "His height has a little asterisk next to it saying his height was 6'3" before his femurs removed and now he is back to 6'1". Which is, oh my god, I love that. Also, his hair is just listed as 'Yes' and his eyes are listed as 'Currently two'; this is, this is fucking genius." so. there is that lmao i love the badge
● Injuries sustained:
↳ idk how much of this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ lost his bones before (eg. all the bones in his legs more than once. was covered by the Goonion tho. said bones are kept in a box on a bookshelf openly labeled "Spare Bones" apparently as uncovered when Bill broke into Wayne Manor to free Lord Deathman, though it is unconfirmed if Bill took any of the bones he had found and how many in the box were his or if the box was labeled that as a joke but actually contained something else). lost his femur x2 in one year, had to go in surgery both times. shot in both kneecaps by Red Hood. was put on fire "back in the early days" by Red Hood. generally been beat up by the Batfam weapons (eg. Tim Drake's bo-staff to Bill's legs). has been dropped off a roof by Batman (breaks legs, cops come get you). ]]] okay, instagram post by thepandaredd in 25 February 2024 confirms the femur replacements happened, as an optional thing Bill can wear is leg-braces since "femur transplants aren't fool-proof"
↳ idk if this is still true bc reboot [[[ note for age: Bill was The First Goon to ever get beat up by a 10 year-old Robin (assumedly Dick Grayson). i wouldnt be surprised if this was noncanonical because then it means Bill is a minimum of 6+, 8+ years older than 10 year-old Dick Grayson (Nightwing) (therefore making Bill 16, 18 years old when he was beat up, at minimum)? more likely is considered "an adult" in comparison to said Robin's then-age, so i'd go higher than 8 years older than a 10 year-old. idk how old Bill canonically is, but if it differs with that information then this would be noncanonical ]]] [[[ (also beat said Robin (again, safe to assume Dick Grayson) in second meeting, and Batman then beat Bill the fuck up and "did unspeakable things to my bones" so assumedly that was the first time Bill got his bones stolen) ]]]
↳ [[[ "Alfred, Get The Guy" and Other Probably-Non-Canonical Skits: has been "turned off" (stopped fucking existing for a sec). i seriously doubt that was ever canon for Bill, but the reboot happened so i assume the reboot doubly-so kills this ]]]
↳ idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ chronic issue: lost ability to feel temperature bc of fire (a Robin set him on fire? unclear which one, implied lots of time has passed so unlikely to be Damian Wayne) ]]]
↳ also a chronic issue: it's implied in one of the Lord Deathman videos (when Bill is going to break out Lord Deathman from the Wayne Manor as per Joker's request. the following occurs right before Bill texts the Joker) that Bill has tinnitus. i assume that is still true post-reboot because it is a small enough chronic injury, it makes sense, sure. but yeah, we hear the "ears ringing" sound during a scene where Bill has laid down to rest and relax before he looks at his phone
↳ can (sometimes? always? idk) speak Fourth Wall, likely because of a side-effect of how many times he has been hit in the head. i assume this still works in spite of the reboot, since Bill was able to, not only talk to the Reboot Agent, but very importantly: have the ability to have woken up mid-reboot. both of those things are likely related to this Fourth Wall Breaking ability. however, also, the Agent kept saying Fourth Wall breaks and Bill did not have a "You can see them too?!" reaction, but rather a very confused and overwhelmed panic reaction where he did not seem to get the references. so maybe he has now lost the ability. i have no idea
↳ my hc add-on as to why Bill was enabled to wake up mid-reboot: do you remember seeing just all of "Madoka Magica"? spoilers for that incoming (or you at least have seen Danny Motta's reaction series to it on youtube, assuming if you're like me and that show has triggers you don't want to risk potentially triggering yourself by watching the show but. like. you do want to know the events, impact, and pop-culture references) where Homura's love for Madoka to keep jumping into timelines to try to save her is singularly what ends up making Madoka the chosen one? because she was loved to that point? that even the universe took notice of her and claimed her as its prodigal child, because the universe reflects what we (in this cause: Homura specifically) puts into it? yeah, i hc that's Bill and this audience. that he just was likely some nameless goon, like a lot of thepandaredd OCs, but because fans (and thepandaredd) loved Bill so much, they took this throwaway skit character mid-overall-creation and gave Bill life where life was intended for him to be miscellaneous. hell, Bill even wears a Skele-Gro necklace from a fan in a PO Box Unboxing video that thepandaredd did a short skit mid-PO-Box-video of Bill receiving (at least i assume that is what he is wearing, he does keep it under his shirt). Bill became important enough to even be rebooted, much less wake up mid-reboot, because of how much he is loved. it's arguably why he has some on/off low-level Fourth Wall breaks too (we don't see that consistently be a thing for other goons). maybe im getting a little too Grant Morrison's "Animal Man" or, hell, even just fucking "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams. because Bill's plot is still overall (to steal a line from Jo O'Connor's "Mind Blind"* game tag-line:) "A Story Where You Are NOT The Chosen One!" in a world of Supermans and billionaires and other lucky and not-so-lucky bastards. but still. the love is there, and it is important; and maybe it doesn't make Bill's life better, but it matters that it is still there. but i digress [ *: and bc i fucking love that game, here is the link to the free demo version of Mind Blind. go to Jo's patreon if you want more after the demo]
● confirmed co-workers: idk bc reboot [[[ Scott (unknown pronouns. was beat up by Batman while Bill was "the first goon to be beat up by Robin"). that's all that is known about Scott, so Scott does not have an individual section. also, we never saw Scott, so we have no idea what Scott looks like ]]] ■ [[[ Ted (he/him pronouns. was name-dropped in "how the Bat Boys treat henchman" video. was thrown out of a 73-odd story building window by Man-Bat; is dead. that's all the info i have on Ted, so i won't give Ted his own OC section. we also have no idea what this Ted looks like, we never saw this Ted on-screen. the skit featuring him is in the November 2021 compilation) (edit: possibly/arguably more about Ted, post-reboot, is below. maybe could be same Ted character, maybe could be a totally different Ted. idk. but this Ted has their own section) ]]] ■ [[[ John (he/him pronouns. was probably never canon. but he was mentioned alongside Bill in a skit about an old goon complaining about younger people calling Terry by Batman in "Batman Beyond", where John was a goon that Batman smiled at and John is "still at Arkham to this day, he never recovered from that"). that's all that is known about John so no an individual section. also, we never saw John either so there are no notes about that either ]]] + a bunch of unnamed co-worker goons lol
● idk bc reboot [[[ had jury duty with Bruce Wayne. is meant to imply he was present for (and that this is based off of) the famous "Bruce admits he is Batman because of Jury Duty and everyone in the courtroom laughs" comic. said courtcase was about the unnamed goon Bill and Batman briefly interacted with that got shot in the crotch because said goon insisted on keeping a gun under their waistband ]]]
● calls his work "independent contractor" and "this freelance thing, working where I can" // when not hiding his job, has called himself a "hench for hire"
● lives at "Company housing" // does indeed live in Gotham, is occasionally shipped on assignment outside of Gotham by the Goonion per aforementioned implications (plus, explicitly has been sent out by his bosses. namely Joker, who once had Bill go on a 16 hour flight to send Bane a pie in-person that assumedly had a bomb in it as well as Joker having assigned Bill to attend Comic-con. (which was post-reboot, as a fun fact, so it definitely happened). but yeah, i assume the habit happens outside of that specific event in terms of both the Joker sending Bill out long-distances as well as other villains also sending him out to far-off places. just. for more grounded reasons than the Joker lol)
● idk bc reboot [[[ knows a Todd from high school (wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be into henching), tho Todd never graduated. nonetheless, Todd does have a section below ]]] 
● idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ tried to become a cop (G.C.P.D.) with a fake mustache, under tha name "Will. Just Will", even though 60% of Gotham cops are dirty + the good ones (eg Commissioner Gordon) knew Joker had only just broken out of jail and assembled a crew. Comissioner Gordon has personally arrested Bill over 50 times, he immediately knew it was Bill ]]]
● idk bc reboot [[[ was shown where the Bat Cave was by Cassandra when she made him help her dispose of Lord Deathman's corpse Joker made bc she had "tiny hands". he used this information to later free Lord Deathman. i would bet Bill knowing this info did not survive the reboot but who knows ]]]
● Bill chooses to work for villains instead of Wayne Industries because he sees billionaire Bruce Wayne as a villain too; and, between the two, he'd rather work with the villain with style (aka: Batman villains). this admission technically happened pre-reboot but i assume it is still his opinion
● idk bc reboot but i assume yes, still true, but just in case [[[ Bill is anti-smoking. does not seem to like it even if it's people smoking around him, will get all Disappointed Yet Sassy on other goons smoking. i assume this goes for cigarettes, cigars, joints etc; but the skit only implied cigarettes ]]]
● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill doesn't have kids. and assumedly from the following dialogue line, he doesn't ever want kids. there is an implication that he could have had kids, and idk if that was an implication as in (1) a significant other and him had a talk and likely mutually agreed to an abortion, (2) he and a significant other broke up because they wanted kids and he did not (and assumedly said partner had kids p soon afterwards with, like, their very next partner or so, hence why there would be a "could have been me" sentiment), (3) Bill had the oppurtunity to take a kid/some kids in as their guardian but chose not to (eg. as a step-parent, as in kinship care or kinship adoption, as a foster care or a foster child wanting to become Bill's kid, or maybe Bill got close with a kid in a non-foster setting and said kid wanted Bill to foster them/to be their legal guardian, idk), or (4) Bill almost donated to a sperm bank but decided not (or maybe he did donate and checked off the "never contact me" box and considers that still "not having kids". i personally think "no" to this bc i find the sperm bank system in the USA really corruptable and un-regulated, and i don't like that sperm-donor-kids don't have access to their sperm donor's medical records even in cases of medical emergencies/genetic disabilities or chronic illnesses that skipped the sperm donor (or that the sperm donor didn't realize they had, since so much of the sperm donation process is the fucking honor system and sometimes people get late diagnosed and sometimes certain genes activate later in life for a random reason) but did not skip the sperm-donor-kid/etc). in the Lord Deathman skit where Bill and Cassandra Cain (Oracle) bag up Lord Deathman. after she asks him for help carrying the bags, he grumbles "You have got to be fucking kidding me. You are the exact reason why I didn't have kids." before saying "I'll grab my coat!" with frustration. and, yes, all of this theorizing is because the verb-usage "didn't", as in "I could have had kids but I did not" (rather than using a line like "You're the reason I never want kids", where the diction would not have backstory implications), is very interesting to me lmao ]]]
↳ i personally have the hc that, as a connection of Bill's Fourth Wall breaks, similar to how the Joker knows he is in a comic and that the people he kills do not matter ("They're extras" to quote Bakugou), Bill knows he is in a comic and doesn't see much point in having kids. i also personally tie this in with his "Wayne Industries/Bruce Wayne is also a villain" belief in the sense that Bill either still has memories or else has unconscious premonitions from having been a nameless background character in "Bruce Wayne reconstruction stories that show how unstable Bruce/Batman is as a hero" comic stories. like. what is the point of having kids in that kind of enviroment where they could be Superman's "The Man Who Has Everything"-ified and you get rebooted and forced to forget/"forget" your own kids? then the verb usage of "didn't" could be "why I didn't have kids in this timeline". maybe he remembers or has vague premonitions abiut being a dad before (and maybe Bill didn't like being a dad? idk). i think it brings a new touch to his exhaustion in (the Lord Deathman video when Alfred Pennyworth shot him which featured) that scene of him having tinnitus, where he is just tired and sad and needs a break from all this
● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill can read ASL (American Sign Language), we know bc Cassandra Cain (Oracle. thepandaredd plays Cassandra as nonverbal) signed to him in the Lord Deathman skit where they bag up Lord Deathman and she makes him carry the bags because she signs to him "Help me. Tiny hands." ]]]
● i like what i said about Bill, comparing him to Mitchell Mayo in Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s section below (bc i do kind of see thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell as an OC. section is below, still under "People"), so i'm taking the hc-analysis and copy-pasting it here: (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)
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[[[ ★★★ TODD ??? ]]] (this one is Bill's high school classmate. DC Comics OC)
idk if this Todd exists because of the whole reboot thing (look at Bill The Henchman section under "People" + The Agent of the Reboot section under "Associations"), but sure
● unknown pronouns. unknown surname (hc full name: (bc i don't think he is Todd Andrews) my headcanon for Todd's surname is Turk. if you go to TV Tropes' page on "The Informant" trope, under the "Comic Books" section, you will read about a brief paragraph Marvel character named Turk who was an informant for Marvel vigilantees. and it's obvious in said paragraph why Marvel doesn't use him anymore lmao rip poor Turk to better differentiate this Todd from Todd Andrews, i also hc that Todd is a nickname for "Theodore" so it is slightly easier on my brain to differntiate all these "Todd"s lmao according to BehindTheName, "Theodore" just means "gift of god" which is sweet yet nonspecific. and its sister-site, Surname.BehindTheName,com said the surname "Turk" meant exactly what is on the tin, it means "Turk". fair. but, yeah, so my hc for this character's full name is Theodore "Todd" Turk. neato, alliteration, yay lmao)
● appearance: wore a black crewneck t-shirt and a wire for the G.C.P.D. also, has recieved a free Goonion black t-shirt from Bill to implement possibly into Todd's wardrobe
↳ as a bonus, the skit this Todd was in featured an G.C.P.D. Dispatch officer of an unknown name and unknown pronouns that wore glasses and a black crewneck t-shirt, and sat a a computer. there you go for anybody who wanted to ensure continuity with Todd and this unnamed G.C.P.D. connection
● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ was Bill The Henchman's classmate in high school. tho Todd never graduated high school ]]] more about Bill is above, albeit still under the "People" section
● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be looking into henching. idk if that means Todd works for the G.C.P.D. and was briefly undercover for this, or if Todd was asked to take a wire for a bit (by the G.C.P.D.) as a civillian. regardless, got a Goonion t-shirt from Bill ]]]
● assumedly not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers is above even that, under "Associations") or Todd The Goonion Rep (said Todd is below, still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above, under "Associations") as this Todd does not wear glasses and i think you need to have finished high school to be an accountant? maybe they are the same and Todd got a GED after, i have no idea, hc to your heart's extent, maybe Todd Andrews' glasses are just for blue-light, maybe Todd the Goonion Rep wears fake glasses, or maybe this Todd wears contacts who knows
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★★★ TODD (this one is the Goonion rep. DC Comics OC)
↳ technically, i have been calling this Todd by the wrong title kind of this whole time but i had to, i had to do it for the communicative clarity of consistency. because Todd's actual title is only colloquially "a Goonion Rep." as Todd's actual title is "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchman's Union". again, this is usually shortened colloquially to "Goonion Rep" but you get it, you get why i didn't call him that every time in the past, Goonion Rep is snappier and there's getting to quickly be too many Todds lmao
● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc full name: Thaddeus "Todd" Malloy. and, with that, i have p much run out of things "Todd" can be short for. luckily, Thaddeus kind of fits a union rep, as BehindTheName.com says it likely derived from the meaning "heart". that's cute. and esp for a Goonion rep, as BehindTheName also says "In the Gospel of Matthew, Thaddaeus is listed as one of the twelve apostles, though elsewhere in the New Testament his name is omitted and Jude's [aka another form of Judas' name, apparently] appears instead. It is likely that the two names refer to the same person". and im not nor have i ever been a Christian but goons and Judas assumedly fit together? yeah? i hope? anyway, i picked the surname Malloy because of the 1954 movie "On The Waterfront" which is about unions, mobs, and an ex-prize-fighter named Teddy Malloy. you can see the connection. i haven't seen it in so many years, i apologize if it is a bad movie to connect to, the plot-summary i read seemed fine enough and my chronic memory loss-riddled ass remembers if fondly enough even tho i was like... seven lol. but, i digress. i should also note that according to Surname.BehindTheName.com Malloy also has connections to both "noble, proud leader" and "faithful servant". huh! even more fitting!)
● appearance: wears glasses. wears a white button-up and a black tie
● works at The First Universal Henchman's Union, aka The Goonion (more on that organization above, under the "Associations" section)
● this is p safe to assume not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers section is above even that, under the "Associations" heading) or the Todd That is Bill's High School Friend (said Todd is above, though still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above even that too, under "Associations"). i explained in Todd That Is Bill's High School Friend's section some of why they might be different, might be the same, it's all up the hc, but im p confident they are all different characters all given the forename Todd, okay? okay lmao
● (@/thepandaredd, if you ever read this: i know you love Jason Todd, Jason is also my favorite in the Batfam (after Alfred, obviously, but you get it), and you have this many different Todd OCs is so fucking funny but also im begging you for other names in-between my laughs, please no more Todds lmao) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds. much love to you and yours ♡]
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★★★ DR. AARON MICHAELS (DC Comics OC)
● he/him pronouns
● Therapist at Akrham Asylum
↳ replacing an assumedly male (had he/him pronouns if nothing else) therapist that Joker seduced, much like the Joker also had done with Harley Quinn; they found out because the guy had downloaded videos on his desktop that were explict and graohic about clowns. he was fired and Dr. Aaron Michaels was hired
● calls patients by their civillian names (important contrast with Dr. Morton below, is also under the "People" section)
● appearance: wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Aaron Michaels wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray vest and matching gray pants. in Dr. Aaron Michael's second and third video, he wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray wool suit jacket. generally has folders/binders/notes, with said folder/binder being darkly colored (black? gray? very dark blue? i cant tell). also has an Arkham ID badge (the card is verticle as a fun fact) that he wears on his suit jacket's breast pocket
● has to make a semi-regular video log ("to mak[e] sure I don't have any 'impure thoughts about the inmates'" which he doesn't like that wording for his patients but you pick and choose your battles)
● Works down the hall from Dr. Morton (is below, is also under the "People" section)
● Transferred from Seattle (doesn't have prior knowledge of patients, instead sits down with them totally blind and whatnot). for those unaware, that is in Washington, USA
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★★★ DR. MORTON (DC Comics OC)
● he/him. Unknown forename (i know in his first video that Dr. Morton showed his Arkham badge to camera but i cannot read it so idk if it said his forename. but i like being a nerd about names+meanings; so, despite the fact that it is quite likely he does have a first name already, because it is illegible to me, im giving him a hc forename: very tempting to jokingly pick "Jay" because thepandaredd is Jay Morton, but that's low-hanging fruit, so i digress my pick is Victor, after Victor Frankenstein of "Frankenstein" fame. tho, like, Victor barely counts as a doctor, he's more of a hack insisting he counts, but he practices alchemy which even his classmates say is super-outdated and not a real science. im getting off track. my "BUT"-point here is that i associate them together because Victor Frankenstein sees the Creature, arguably his own son (i def see the Creature as his son, Victor literally created the Creature, but i digress) but is definitely a patient of his if nothing else, as a monster immediately upon the uncanny-valley-motherfucker daring to actually move &&& Dr Morton calls his patients exclusively by their villain-names so far as of 2024 March, implying he does see his patients as monstrous due to their actions or at least sees their villain identities as superseding their original civillian names, which is a really cool contrasting point between him and Dr. Aaron Michaels. i wonder if that's something they argue about but are still friends in spite of, if that sticking point of difference stops them from being friends, etc)
● Level 2 Medical Officer at Arkham Asylum. also called "A physician", is specifically a "General Care physician for all the supervillians housed at the asylum"
↳ 8 years medical school, minor is psychology
● Calls patients by their villain names (important contrast with Dr. Aaron Michaels, above, still under the "People" section. i have analysis about this character choice in my "hc for Dr Morton's forename" right up a few points)
● appearance: he wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Morton wore red scrubs (or what i assume are supposed to be scrubs? idk, im not a scrubs expert) with a black longer-sleeved shirt underneath and black pants. Dr. Morton also wears what i assume is a scrub-cap, and it is black with skull-and-crossbones on it. in his second video, Dr. Morton wore a white labcoat on top of his scrubs, but otherwise dressed the same. also, he has an Arkham ID badge (fun fact: the card is vertical) that he wore as a lanyard around his neck
↳ hc: i think Dr. Morton stops wearing his ID around his neck. it's a common enough thing that patients will attempt to strangle their doctors in general clinics (much less around dangerously violent patients, like in Arkham Asylum) that doctors (1) dont wear stethoscopes around their neck anymore as a rule, or anything around their neck that could be used to choke them; (2) dont generally wear lanyards and, if they do, it is a break-away lanyard; and (3) instead of lanyards will wear a badge-holder-clip (often a retractable one for convenience) on their top somewhere (ive seen it clipped on their scrub-shirt's neck, their shirt breast pocket, and the hem of the shirt. i once saw it on the hem of their sleeve. i do not know if there is protocol about this beyond "above the waist", this is just based on observations and none of the odder ones are recent. i usually see breast pocket the most). which means someone probably tried to choke out Dr. Morton, and idk who would be the most likely candidate, but regardless it probably doesn't help Dr. Morton see his patients positively enough to use their civillian-names over their villain-names
↳ another hc: which, like. speaking of, i dont think Dr. Morton using villain-names over character-names is bad. it is part of the patients identity and probably the part they recognize the most (since v rarely are any remorseful for their actions). it shows Dr. Morton sees them for their (current) actions, rather than seeing them for their humanity out of his own perception of the world. saying that, i still disagree with the decision for a multitude of reasons, but it's a cool character detail and i wont go off in a tangent about this, this is already enough lol
● Works down the hall from Dr. Aaron Michaels (whose section is above, still under the "People" section)
● Listed treatments:
↳ Eyedrops many times a week for Two-Face's eye to not be a raisin
↳ Splinting Penguin's nose
↳ Has never seen Clayface shit
↳ Repairing "the grill" of Joker
↳ Trying to convince the Joker that wiping his ass does not, and can not, make the Joker gay (suspects the Joker is attracted Batman nonetheless)
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★★★ BUTCH MORETI (DC Comics OC)
technically, this character kind of doesn't exist. as the character was just in a draft version of the "Make Condiment King Scary" tiktok, and not in the finalized video. but i am ignoring that
↳ idk if "Butch" was the character's forename or nickname, but i assume it is the forename (but you can hc it as a nickname if you want)
● Pronouns unknown
● Worked with Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King, canon character but re-imagined rendition is below, still listed under "People" section) died because of Mitchell due to Mitchel poisoning a dollop of ketchup (that Butch ate with fries from Big Belly Burger, one of Butch's favorite places to eat)
↳ died in a safe-house, after ripping off Falconé
↳ Mitchell Mayo was sent by Falconé to kill Moreti -- "Falconé sends his regards, Butch"
● appearance: was dressed in all black, with a black leather jacket (no lapel, had fake-motorcycle-padding-shoulder-pockets if you squint. this in contrast to Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s leather jacket which did have a lapel), with a black t-shirt, black pants, etc.
● Butch was irritable (makes sense, after ripping off Falconé and finding someone in the safehouse) and waved a gun around for intimidation
● i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol ■ more on thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell Mayo (The Condiment King) below, still under the "People" section
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★★★ MITCHELL MAYO (CONDIMENT KING) (DC Comics)
technically, shouldn't be here bc he is a canon DC comics character already. but i like thepandaredd's re-imagining enough to have made notes and consider him a bit of an OC of panda's
● assumed, he/him pronouns due to canon and masculine self-references (eg. a guy, a man, King, etc)
● hates the title "Condiment King", does not like to be called that and will tell you. the press gave it to him after a murder Mitchell comitted (more below under "Confirmed murders")
↳ "So patronizing. Like, I'm trying to make some some grand-standing with what I do, I'm not. I'm not."
↳ "Everybody in Gotham has got a gimmick."
↳ "See, my problem isn't with the name itself. It's with what the insult that is implied. People think that what I do is silly. But I'm gonna ask you something. If the ketchup was too tangy, would you stop eating it? Or if your hot wings tingled your throat in a way you didn't expect, would you all of a sudden stop? See, the thing is, apart from taking a shit: eating is when people are at their most vulnerable. I ask you: do you know what poison tastes like? Are you sure?"
● appearance: wears a green beanie with a pompom (reference to character's pickle hat in comics. (fun behind-the-scenes fact: the hat in question in the tiktok is a backwards "Friends" beanie. Mitchell's is assumedly not that. but it is what thepandaredd could find at the time)). wears all black otherwise, including a black leather jacket (with a lapel), a black t-shirt, black pants, etc (note: when killing the unnamed guy a few bullet points below, was wearing a "new sky blue suit" that got stains all over it from fighting said guy in a kitchen and getting tossed around. assumedly had to throw it away after, but who knows, maybe it got cleaned)
↳ very recognizable. Ted (below, still under "People" section) recognized Mitchell Mayo on sight, despite being a Gotham transplant who'd only been there for three months
● personality is generally laid-back? a bit of an "under the surface" type of control-freak? is kind of quiet, lets people make assumptions that benefit Mitchell Mayo. keeps calm while others fly off the handle. will get a bit loud and growly when angry, letting it slip for half a phrase or so, before laughing it off and continuing like he isn't annoyed/pissed off. smiles and laughs creepily at the idea of murdering people; no guilt, no shame, enjoys it. very much recommend watching both the draft and final versions of "Make Condiment King Scary" that thepandaredd made
● likes to eat french fries (in the draft version of "Make Condiment King Scary", Mitchell eats the fries without ketchup as said ketchup is poisoned for Butch Moreti to eat. in this version, the fries are from Big Belly Burger ■ in the final version of the video, Mitchell does eat his fries with ketchup) ■ according to Ted's second "Living in Gotham" video (Ted's section is below, still under the "People" header. Ted called Mitchell Mayo exclusively by "the Condiment King" which i assume did not help Ted's case), Mitchell got so mad at Ted for dissing the Bat Burger (+Joker Fries) that Ted had to hide in the bathroom of an abandoned building as Mitchell Mayo pounded on the bathroom door saying, "I know you're in there! I know you're in there! Open the door!". so i assume the Bat Burger is Mitchell Mayo's favorite and that he is the "No, you misunderstand. I'm not willing to die on this hill, I'm willing to kill you on it." type in regards to food-opinions
● drinks A&W rootbeer? i think?? idk what that can is of otherwise (in final version of "Make Condiment King Scary")
● worked with Falconé as "a goon" ("another grunt off the street"; kind of implies Goonion likely wasn't a thing yet back then? but who knows, Goonion doesn't seem relatively new, so Mitchell Mayo probably was a member when he started. edit: nah, according to the Goonion merch, it was "established 2000", so yeah, it is relatively new, nvm) ("Hands up, fucker, Falconé sends his regards"), implied to not being doing that anymore
↳ when with Butch Moerti (section above, still under "People"), is implied to still be peers. so still henchmen. Butch patronizes Mitchell, sees Mitchell as below Butch, and Mitchell allows Butch to underestimate him as it benefits Mitchell in the end
↳ i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol
↳ implied to be a mercenary now? idk if this version is a supervillain (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)
● Confirmed murders: (within thepandaredd re-imagining canon)
↳ manipulated Butch Moreti (section above, still under "People") via using Big Belly Burger fries (Butch Moreti's favorite. "Man, you know that's my shit") and poisoning a dollop of ketchup that had been untouched on a paper plate -- arguably non-canonical bc Butch only exists in a drafted version of "Make The Condiment King Scary" and not the final version, but im ignoring that ■ well, actually, i guess Butch kind of is also in the final version as there is some unseen person cough-choking to the end, assumedly poisoned. that could be Butch. or a reference to Butch. who knows lol
↳ (the following is a bastardized summary of the "Make Condiment King Scary" final video; please go watch it) Mitchell killed an unnamed guy in a pot of hot sauce (technically, "extra hot sauce", still on the stove ■ "You know, when you drown, they say your lungs feel like they're on fire. Can you imagine what that's like with capsaicin added to the mix?" (this line is only in the draft version) ■ "Did you know that it only takes three pounds of ground up chillis, consumed in one sitting, to kill a man? Purely from the capsaicin. Well, I'll tell you what, he figured out what it's like to inhale that shit."). drowned the unnamed guy in a pot of it. it is how Mitchell Mayo got the nickname "Condiment King" from the press. ■ event in further detail: Mitchell was sent by Falconé bc a resteraunt "racket" he had been running (slang definition: "an illegal or dishonest scheme for obtaining money". i assume that means the place was a front for money laundering? that the "owner" went "no, fuck you, i actually like doing this"? that's kinda sweet. or maybe Falconé was doing "pay me for protection (from me)" thing, idk, that's less sweet but still admirable lol) had itself an owner who decided not to pay, "So I was sent to relieve him of his station". Mitchell let the guy finish up his meal, followed the owner into the back, stuck a gun in his face. but the guy was a black belt in karate, kicked gun out of Mitchell's hand, fought and tossed Mitchell around, then Mitchell held the unnamed guy's head in that pot of hot sauce "until the fucking bubbles stopped coming up". therefore, Mitchell Mayo killed a guy with hot sauce in a suit covered in condiments got the nickname "Condiment King"
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★★★ REGGIE BENSON (his second Marvel OC! yay!)
● unknown pronouns. (he/him implied via "dude" and "guy" diction? but idk, i use those gender neutrally myself)
● appearance: wears a red and a blueish-gray flannel with a black sherpa lining that is a zip-up jacket; ontop of a plain pale-red t-shirt. as a prop, Reggie often carries around an iPad (assumedly to draw on, write notes, and record audio with. i hc Reggie uses the Notability app a fuck ton, because that lets you record audio while you write notes which is great for lectures/interviews. Notability is a bit hard to draw with in my exp, but not the worst; plus you can switch apps easy. idk how well it works for Zoom/Facetime/online interviews, but in-person ones? esp pre-Wolverine-interview? Reggie probably used Notability a shitton. iPad is a very good prop pick for Reggie to have), said iPad seems to have a pale-gray case. Reggie also has a prosthetic leg (assumedly his right (the viewer's left) leg from how he looked down?)
↳ "How did I get [my prosthetic leg]? I, uh, mighy have asked Wolverine how he shaves? Listen, I'm just saying-- I know legal said don't talk about it, they asked, I want to tell them-- if a nuke gets dropped on a guy, and he comes back with perfectly shaved mutton-chops, I don't think it's unreasonable to know how he shaves his freaking moustache, okay?!" ("I, uh, I have been informed by legal team over at Marvel that I, I, I, uh, should stop talking about the Wolverine interview on camera. So, uh, can you just, tch, cut that, please?")
● works at Marvel Comics' Marvel Comics (bc Marvel Comics legitimately decided "let's put our comic company inside our comic-universe, selling comics about the heroes the universe has. like a graphic novel version of the news, except it is 'fictional stories with grains of truth' somehow", sure). thepandaredd explains this oddity a bit better over in the July 2022 compilation (which, for clarity, Reggie's introductory skits are over in the August 2022 compilation)
↳ Reggie's official position at the company is: "Earth 616 Reporter (Mutant Division) Marvel™️ Comics". Reggie just says "I'm a reporter for Marvel Comics" and that "Personally, a lot of the stories that I cover are a lot of mutant and mutant-related things." ■ they still say "Excelsior"/"'celsior" at fictional-Marvel, that's cool
↳ it can probably be safely assumed Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and whatnot still are still alive? since they were, at one point, in the comics? but idk if they are in the skit-world-of-thepandaredd. but they might be Reggie's co-workers?
↳ Reggie explains their job as a mixture of the news section and "the funny pages" section of a newspaper. it's reporting news, put in some graphics, and add "drama and spice to keep things fresh". ■ Marvel Comics (the fictional company) does try to be unbiased and also get "all the perspectives possible" (eg. the villains' pov). says that "Some people that rhe public has labeled as super-villains aren't really that bad of people to talk to. Others, (note: Reggie is clearly thinking of Mojo, more in a lower bullet-point) uhm [i cut out the heavy stuttering], some of the opinions are deserved." ■ Reggie sees himself as "I like to think of myself as their voice. I get to get their side of the story out to the people, y'know?"
↳ for work, Reggie has met with: Paste Pot Pete (no label within the skit. civillian identity: Peter Petruski. is sometimes also called The Trapster, but not in these skits lol) ■ Mojo (the skit labels Mojo as "Mojo. Media Tycoon. Professionally Gross. Entrepreneur. Owner: WatchMojo". Mojo is both his villain and civillian name. his alien species is called the Spineless Ones. in one specific comic-run, "Ultimate X-Men", he is a human named Mojo Adams, but i digress. Reggie gets general-canon-alien-Mojo, who terrifies/disgusts Reggie to the point that Reggie screams, even on video-call/Facetime) ■ Wolverine (the skit labels Wolverine as "Logan Howlett. Mutant. 'The Wolverine™️'. Avengers, X-Men, X-Force, History Teacher." Wolverine hates Reggie: he says "fuck that guy" and thinks Reggie is a total asshole) ■ Charles Xavier (the skit labels Charles as "Charles Xavier. Headmaster. Mutant. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngesters™️. Nobel Prize Winner". when asked about Reggie, Charles began by saying Reggie is "a fine young chap" until he was told this was off the record, to which Charles said "Oh, the dude's a prick.") ■ Namoor (Zoom interview. has fried the "complimentary iPad we gave him by going underwater" before, hope that doesn't happen again. is mentioned in skit, but not shown, so no label)
↳ i personally feel it is important to add Reggie will snort-laugh at some things the people they interview say, and Reggie will cover it up with a lie that the sound they made was "allergies"/that it is "allergy season"
↳ my hc: i think the Paste Pot-Pie interview was pre-Wolverine, and Reggie does all his interviews over Facetime/Zoom since losing his leg post-Wolverine interview? maybe legal over at Marvel advised it
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★★★ ARNOLD (a third Marvel OC! very little info tho)
● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc: i googled Marvel's version of State University to confirm if Arnold was an OC or not, and i couldn'find anything to say he is canon so i assume OC. i know very little Fantastic Four lore. anyway, i see it says there is a dean already there-- which is to be expected, and universities can have multiple deans-- but that same dean does not have a forename. so i am hc'ing slapping Arnold onto this dean whose entire wiki says he just "welcome[d] Reed Richards when he arrived with the the Fantastic Four at State U to deliver a lecture", the end. so, my hc name is Dean Arnold Mencken, or just Arnold Mencken when he is not a dean, i guess. also, i looked what the surname means on my beloved search-engine of Surnames.BehindTheName because i LOVE name-meanings and intertextual references and whatnot-- and nothing came up. so i tried google, and a site called "Forebears.io" that i am unsure about entirely trusting says that it is a variant spelling of the surname Menken (which BehindTheName also had nothing on) and both means "One who lived in a monastery" which sounds fitting and i kind of have an "i don't know enough about this to say you're right or wrong, and i don't like that" opinion about. but eh. the character's surname was already decided. it's whatever, it's just a hc. if you want to see the fandom-wiki pages on Dean [No forename] Mencken, the one listing him as staff from State U is here and his own page is over here)
↳ insists students call him by just "Arnold" when they try to call him "Dean". Victor Von Doom compromises, somewhat, and switches from "Dean" to "Dean Arnold"
● is a dean at State University in New York (which, yes, is a real university). was dean at the time Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom were students
● appearance: wears glasses and a plain black t-shirt in the skit
● is in just the one skit from the 2023 Oct./Nov. compilation, unlikely to appear again but who knows!
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★★★ PROFESSOR FINGER (DC Comics OC)
↳ is actually a spoof on "Bill Finger", who worked on Batman comics. more below under Professor Kane's section (below, still under "People")
● he/him pronouns. unknown forename. (hc forename: Duval. after Marie Duval, the primary creator of "Ally Sloper" which was a then-famous Victorian comic strip to which her husband (Charles Ross) stole all the credit and was heralded as a comic genius for almost 150 years. only in the past few years, thanks to a comics historian named David Kunzle, has Marie Duval been given her full share of credit for what was ultimately her comic. but yeah, i checked if Duval is a forename and i found tons of people with it as their forename so hell yeah)
● appearance: unknown, Prof Finger was never shown on-screen
● switched mid-skit between calling him an "English teacher" and a "Philosophy teacher". (maybe he's English specialized in Philosophy, like ive had English college classes require we read "On The Consolation of Philosophy" by Boethius before) more likely, Finger is English and Jason Todd mispoke when he said "Philosophy"
● is a Professor at Tim Drake's school, and Tim is in his class; Jason Todd took his class, was implied to have taken it years ago. was called "Professor Finger" (note: not "Dr. Finger", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out. main reason i mention it is bc i kept making a typo the first time i wrote this section up calling him "Dr. Finger" and that isn't accurate, he was never called that in the skit, idk why i kept making the same typo).
↳ the phrasing of "Professor" leads me to assume this is university (idk how private schools work and if they have students call anybody "Professor") which Jason Todd i don't think is confirmed to go to university? (Jason Todd hc: i think he should go. i am very much Team Jason Todd The English Professor Or English (Public? or Gotham Academy?) High School Teacher (probably more likely public bc i can see Jason Todd wanting to reach out to disadvantaged youth at public schools moreso than help deliquent rich kids on principle. but i can also see him going "i dont want to hang out with teenagers who don't want to participate in discussions; i'm gonna teach on college campuses" bc he deserves students who are interested in his class, his life has been hard enough, let him have passionate students and, unfortunately, college English students are more likely passionate about the material than high school English students, idk what to tell you). but im also Team Jason Todd Takes College Classes (Mostly English) For Fun With No Intent Of A Degree tho. either or) and the only college Tim went to that i am aware of is Ivy University in Ivy Town. however, i think it is more likely both Jason Todd and Tim Drake are both taking college classes (or "has taken" in Jason Todd's case since it's implied he went Finger's class years ago, idk if he is implied to still attending or not rn, before was just my hc) at Gotham University in Gotham City, that feels like the most convenient place for them to both go. however, it would also make sense for this to be a reference to Gotham Academy (in which case Tim Drake is in high school and Jason Todd has since left), but again, idk if private schools ask students to call their teachers by "Professor". im probably overthinking this
● obsessed with Batman
↳ keeps having students every semester write a paper on the philosophy of Batman to the point that Jason Todd thinks "he should have a book of those by now"
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★★★ PROFESSOR KANE (DC Comics OC)
↳ is actually a spoof on "Bob Kane", who worked on the Batman comics 
↳ (if you want to read up on why Bill Finger and Bob Kane are being discussed like this, this article goes over a good amount of introductory information (https://boldentrance.com/how-bob-kane-stole-batman-from-bill-finger/) and i also recommend this reddit thread to get a bit more of a window into the DC Comics fandom dialogue about it (https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/s/sf8P8hgBxv). but yeah, there's better resources if you want to know more in-depth stuff, i just picked the most accessible, quick-to-read, starter stuff) thepandaredd has also done a few videos on Bill Finger and Bob Kane, but i can't find them even though i know they exist (edit: found them (on accident), it's within their "DC Comics Discussions 3" youtube video). but this is just thepandaredd doing a "Wouldn't it be nice?" alternate reality where the students protected Finger and ousted Kane for trying to steal Finger's job, the actions dictated here did not happen in real life. it's just a nod to the irl drama via the names involved (and also maybe the enough "psychology/philosophy of Batman" stuff to make a book is a reference that Finger kept a continuity book of all Batman and Batman-associated-characters/places he came up with so as to minimize continuity errors. i am not aware of Finger having ever written a "Psychology/Philosophy of Batman" book or anything similar for that topic ad nauseam, again, as far as i am aware, that's just a popular point of pop culture analysis to the point that even i have written a paper on it for college), it is not a summary of said drama
● he/him. unknown forename. (hc forename: Ross. after Charles Ross, of the "Ally Sloper" fame, who famously took all the credit that his wife, Marie Duval did to making this Victorian comic strip an icon of its time)
● appearance: unknown, Prof Kane is never seen on-screen
● "Professor Kane tried to steal [Professor Finger's] job last year, but everyone kind of ousted him"
↳ "Oh, gross, Professor Kane? That dude's a dick."
↳ "Yeah, that's what everyone else said."
↳ assumedly, since Tim Drake doesn't have his own opinion of Kane voiced (just "that's what everyone else said"), though Professor Kane is at Tim's school, Tim has not interacted with him one-on-one or had his class (my assumption would be Tim is avoiding Kane's classes since everyone keeps talking shit. why willingly take a teacher you know might make your life hellish for a semester? i do that with RateMyProfessor all the time). in contrast, Jason Todd likely has taken a class by Professor Kane considering his wording (which makes additional sense when you realize Jason Todd is unlikely to use the internet or features like RateMyProfessor due to him having grown up without much day-to-day/non-Batman-and-Robin tech before the Lazarus Pit. probably isn't a habit for him to look profs up); but it's also likely Jason just came to his own conclusions firmly after hearing enough rumors/second-hand stories about it, that does also fit Jason's personality
↳ "ousted" implies Professor Kane no longer works at that campus. but who knows, maybe
● (note: same as Professor Finger's section above, still under the "People" section— this guy is not "Dr. Kane", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, we don't know what kind of subject this Kane OC is a professor of. but, considering he tried to steal Professor Finger's job, i think it's safe to assume Kane is also an English professor. it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out.)
● i'm not re-writing my notes on "is this guy a Professor at a university (Ivy University? Gotham University?) or at Goth Academy (high school)?" so look above in Professor Finger's section (above, still under "People") for my waffling on about that
● i'm guessing on the spelling of Professor Kane's surname based on phoentics + "Kane" is how Bob Kane spelled his surname (same goes for "Finger" except i don't think there is any other way to spell "Finger"(?), unlike Kane/Cain/Kain/Cane/Kayne/Cayne/Caine/Kaine/Caigne/Kaigne/etc, you get the idea). i assume Professor Kane is unrelated to the DC Comics Kane (fictional) family/families (eg. one family is Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman), Mary Elizabeth "Bette" Kane (Hawkfire), and Jacob Kane. another Kane family is the father-son duo Jesse Kane and David Kane (Black Manta; though i think it's more popular for Black Manta's civillian surname to be Hyde in-comics), from the live-action "Aquaman" movie series. and another is Cassandra Cain (Oracle; in some other universes, her surname is Wu-San though) and her father, David Cain; though that one is if i assumed incorrectly about how to spell Professor Kane's surname. and so on, im sure there's others with a variant of this surname. a lot of people in the DC Comic workspace used the surname as either a Biblical reference, which is not that important to what i am discussing here, or in tribute to Bob Kane before everyone knew about how much work should actually be attributed to Bill Finger) but yeah, hc to your heart's content if you want Professor Kane to be related to someone. just because there is no evidence of confirmation does not, in this case, mean there is any evidence of contradiction either. (hc: like i prefer Jacob Kane to be a good guy, bc Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman) deserves a decent dad. but i know in the "Gotham Knights" game (idk if this is true anywhere else), Jacob Kane is a member of The Court Of Owls, specifically "The Voice of the Court". i think the Waynes/Kanes having a connection to the Court makes sense. i think it's kinda off to have everyone in the Wayne/Kanes be good, and all other rich families in Gotham have at least one bad egg in The Court of Owls; i think the Wayne/Kanes should be included as part of that corrupted mess, just, probably someone outside of the Batfam and their immediate relatives. id be perfectly happy having Professor Kane be in the Wayne/Kane family as the representative associated with The Court Of Owls in Jacob Kane's place. maybe he can be Jacob Kane's crotchety old uncle or someone in the family closer to Kate's age, but someone who they are all but officially estranged from. hence, no idea he/their family was involved in the Court. if you prefer drama tho, i don't think anybody really knows anything about Bette Kane's dad except that he's dead? maybe he came back, idk, basically all the Robins have died and came back. or maybe she has a brother, idk, i prefer my "distant family" pitch more personally. but also then i kinda wonder why Professor Finger isn't dead via a Talon getting assigned to kill him, so i also don't believe my own hc pitch. it is the most likely option that Professor Kane could just be an unrelated, miscellaneously benign but dickish Kane lol anyway, i digress)
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★★★ TED (the Gotham transplant. DC Comics OC)
● unknown pronouns. unknown surname. (hc surname: Icarian. meaning i hc this character's name to be Ted Icarian. which "Icarian" is the adjective/noun form referencing the Ancient Greek lore character called "Icarus". most famous for wearing his dad's wax wings, flying too close to the sun, and falling to his death with a moral about arrogance, the sublime, and human error. which, y'know, is poetic because im hc'ing this as "uncorrupted Ted that has never been/has yet to become a goon" (more on that in a bullet-point below), ergo, "before the fall" morally and before Bill's-version-pre-reboot-of-Ted's fall from Wayne Towers ~73 stories high to his death from Man-Bat. so it is also a pun. also, as a brief self-note: applying the Hozier song titled "Icarian (I, Carrion)" to this intrepretation of Ted is fitting poetically and also funny in a dark-humor way. edit: Ted's life is going downhill fast between the first and second videos, and i feel like i accidentally condemned Ted with this surname lmao Ted, i'm so sorry)
↳ the following does involve hc, but also does analyze possible connections between "this Ted" and "the Ted mentioned within Bill The Henchmen's Confirmed Co-Workers section of Bill's whole bit above (yet still under the "People" heading)": i like to headcanon this is the same Ted who is/was Bill The Henchman's late coworker. since Ted-The-Coworker was established pre-Reboot Agent, this could either be a prequel to Ted dying from the Man-Bat (which btw the skit of that is linked here) or could be Ted in a rebooted alternate life. i like to assume the latter, because i think that'd be hilariously trippy for Bill to see his coworker still alive post-reboot but tragic that this Ted doesn't likely know who Bill is lol but also all of this, either way, makes the Henchman LinkedIn joke a few bullet-points down extra (bittersweet) fucking funny
● appearance: wears all black. first video included a black t-shirt and a black denim jacket. second video included a black scarf with a black-white-and-gray long-sleeve top.
● has a 4-door car. idk anything about cars. but has shot these videos, generally, in said car. so that is one of Ted's habits as an influencer → and now that car is where Ted sleeps, oh dear (at least is sleeping with a neck pillow? idk any silver lining here)
● now lives in Gotham (Batman's territory, which is in the East Coast and most traditionally is in pseudo-New Jersey), but is a transplant from Coast City (for context, Coast City's most famous protector is Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) if that helps you. it's in pseudo-California). lives in an apartment in Gotham → oh, god. uh, Ted no longer lives in an apartment in Gotham. Ted is now unhomed, now living in their car. their apartment was burned down into the shape of a giant smiley-face and there was a fireproof-paper note on "where my bed once used to be" that said: "Disrespect my Joker Fries again, bitch, and it won't just be the house". so. assumedly Ted's home was burned down by the Joker
↳ has lived in Gotham City "for 3 months". if you want to apply reality's timeline to the skit, hen he has been living in Gotham for 3 months from the point of recording the tiktok on 25 March 2024 (aka: 25 January 2024-ish is around when Ted moved to Gotham?)
● two jobs. job (1) is as an influencer, makes tiktoks (eg. "Top 5 Facts About Gotham City (from a Coast City transplant)" type videos. doing social media seems to be a side hustle or just for fun? each video has the top margin say "GOTHAM FYP" or "GOTHAM CITY FYP" so far (which i know is a fun trend people do and that's part of advertising that "hello, the following is comments about a fictional city; this a trend, i am a nerd (/tone indicator: affectionate); please do not think this is a real place (or that im stupid, as sometimes comic nerd get v patronizing in the comments. (eg. 'uh? op didn't know Harvey Dent was Two-Face? fake DC fan much' like? my comrade, it is a trend, it is a GAG, of course op knew, they did a skit playing as a character that's a Gotham civillian who wouldn't know that, oh my god, that's the BIT))", but also my not-tech-savvy ass assumes a part of it is also supposed to be a gag about the search-bar? and the idea is that the viewer is either watching Gotham City content within the DC-universe or, more likely, also lives in Gotham(?). idk. but yeah because [insert real city] fyp content doesn't ever have that "[CITY] FYP" stuff at the top that ive seen, but they do always have the search bar always filled in. usually with more "[real city] fyp" items, most generally it will be just "[city] fyp" but also sometimes the search bar says stuff like "[city] fyp to eat", "[city] fyp tips", etc as i watch the tiktok video VS. if i watch "Gotham FYP" content, my personal 50/50 experience on if my search-bar will give me more "Gotham FYP" content in my search bar or if it will be something else DC Comics adjacent, like a new movie. however, after saying all of that: i think i maybe went into an overthinking spiral again, ignore me if that is the case) summary content of video below in case application of Gotham Fun Facts is desired)
↳ does not think the Bat Burger lives up to the hype. thinks Joker Fries are not that good. prefers Big Belly Burger (same favorite resteraunt as Butch Moreti, another thepandaredd OC, above yet still under the "People" section). will still eat Bat Burger tho
↳ "Gang territory, here? Gerrymandered to fuck". have to change colors of outfit to keep safe
↳ Halloween is outlawed in Gotham (in part bc of copyright laws). even trick-or-treating is illegal
↳ Henchman jobs are available on Linked In. applying puts you on a watchlist for the GCPD but still
↳ Gothamites are both exaggerating about the crime rates here and not. Gotham has more than the usual number of villains but the crime is less of a disturbance than expected, in spite of how "in Coast City, we're used to, like, one intergalactic threat showing up every couple of months" VS "It is like almost every other fucking week here [in Gotham]"
↳ Ted got a Welcome Package when Ted first moved in. package contained: "a safety straw you use to drink out of fucking lakes, a gas-mask, [and] a gun"
↳ "The second the sun dips behind the horizon, the sky turns red. No, I'm not joking. Night-time doesn't exist. There are demon hours and that is when the sky is fucking red!" also, both Ted and i are chemically unsure how that works
↳ there are police blimps to patrol Gotham City from the sky. "I saw a dude jay-walk at, like, 2 in the morning; and, all of a sudden, a flood-light came out of the goddamn sky!" which Ted admits, despite having lived where Green Lantern "used to be" (is that verb-usage related to the Superb Prowers insurance question about Coast City being gone now? is Green Lantern also gone? idk), Green Lantern did not get Ted used to this kind of shit at all (fair)
↳ despite there being "like 10 million people living here", "more than half" of the buildings here are of abandoned buildings and all of them were former businesses (hc/theory: Ted, those were probably the results of fronts for money-laundering, and they they had to shut the place down in order to avoid the cops. and also poverty, making a honest business as a newbie entrepreneur with no familial pre-established networking is very hard, i imagine, esp with all the "pay my gang for protection (from our gang)" stuff. that doesn't help) ■ yet Ted found a way into a (working?) bathroom in one such building, admittingly under duress (Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) was chasing him) ■ "half the residential buildings are abandoned apartment complexes"
↳ Ted finds Robin (assumedly Damian Wayne; "a 12 year-old running around with a sword") is "scarier than you would think". not necessrily that Robin is scarier than Batman, but that not enough people warn you about Robin. plus the fact that said Robin has "two brothers" where "one of them is fucking packing heat and the other is just going to fucking beat you to death with a billy-club!" (okay so, that is assumedly Jason Todd (Red Hood) and Tim Drake (Red Robin). makes sense, since Dick Grayson is largely looking over Bludhaven, he would not be present, and Duke Thomas (Signal) is largely working day-hours. Ted is not going to be happy to find out that there are more than just those two tho) ■ "the Robins" went after Ted for loitering? bc Ted was trying to find a place to sleep, homeless, in their car?? "Loitering is a big thing here" (hc: i don't like the idea of the Batfam caring about loitering (which is v racially charged "crime"), much less pestering the homeless?? especially Jason, who im p sure did sleep on the street at some point. but i can accept the idea that they saw unfamiliar plates on the car and wanted to check out "who the hell is driving this slow (looking for where to sleep) at 2AM from Coast City?" and pulled out the random loitering as an empty excuse (reality: was checking this dude wasn't a runaway robber from Coast City, looking for a place to break-into, mostly to hide-out and maybe rob; and then realized the truth about Ted's situation). i can also accept them gently being involved in the homeless' lives so as to better protect them, remember them, break the ice, and just (again: gently) hazing new people. i like the idea of Ted seeing a couple comments from other unhoused people explaining that "getting to know you" method. just messing with Ted while they got down some details to look a bit more into Ted (eg. Damian memorizing Ted's license plate while Time distracts Ted might lead the trio to an article explaining how Ted lost that apartment) and see if they can get Ted off the street without being so obvious as to dish out hand-outs since some people have really negative reactions to those despite the good intentions. idk. it was just a gag, but one that greatly confused me so now i am spinning it and righting it in my head lmao)
↳ the G.C.P.D. police have to be at every single graduation from college. because, and this happens so often, that someone gets their doctorate and right then and there decides to commit their first act of super-villainy at the ceremony. part of me wonders how Ted learned that, what graduation did Ted attend or did Ted hear about it from others? idk
● second job: unknown. assumed to be Ted's day-job or main occupation (with social-media as a side thing).
↳ has co-worker there named Alex (confirmed he/him pronouns. Alex's duplex is split between Penguin territory and Two-Face territory. "has to change colors if he wants to go to the bathroom". Alex does not get his own section because this is all the info i got on him ■ though i will also say there is another Alex, likely unrelated for reasons listed in the other section, in The First Universal Henchmen's Union section's "confirmed members" listing, above, and said section is all under the overall "Associations" heading)
● Ted's Enemies, i guess (hopefully just temporarily): Joker (pissed off due to Ted dissing the Joker Fries; burned down Ted's apartment and left a threatening fireproof note) ■ Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) (was also pissed off by Ted's food opinions, though Mitchell's was implied to moreso be about the Bat Burger; chased Ted into an abandoned building's bathroom and pounded on the door of said bathroom while yelling at Ted) ■ i assume there will be more
● (@/thepandaredd, if you're reading this, i know i said i have hcs but i truly do not actually care if this Ted and the previous dead-Ted are two different Teds, the same Ted but a prequel version, the same Ted but now rebooted into an alternate life... all i ask, is that Ted is not the next "Todd". it would be so fucking funny if you made a third Ted (even funnier if this one was Tedd, with two "D"s, but that is nOT TO GIVE YOU IDEAS), but i am also begging you between laughs once again to please consider not making more DC OCs named Ted. that is so close spelling-wise to "Todd". please. and thank you for coming to my TED Talk (ba-da-tish)) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds and Teds. much love to you and yours ♡]
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★★★ THE REGRETTABLES RE-IMAGINING PITCHES (exactly what it sounds like. not quite an OC, but fuck it)
★ you could also argue "Daniel Dyce (#711)" of "Regrettable Superheroes" is a pitch of an OC of thepandaredd (specifically, thepandaredd pitched for him to become a gag villain in Gotham who keeps breaking out of Arkham). which, uh, i do also have notes on. but i will not be sharing within this post because a lot of it is "me myself brainstorming a re-imagining of this character" which feels too tangiental to put here in "thepandaredd's original characters and associations" post. and, yeah, you would have assumed thepandaredd would have further re-imagining pitches of some of the "Regrettables" but these were the rare ones i could find and i am p confident i've watched all the videos in that series bc i was looking for exactly these kind of notes. all the rest were "Regrettable, don't bring them back" or "Not regrettable, bring them back (with said opinion not including a pitch for their re-imagining. at most just a vague 'as a gag'. anything more than that and i will attach them to this/my thepanndaredd's OC list)".
↳ but yeah, that was from a two-parter tiktok from 8 June 2023 (or thepandaredd's 2023 June Monthly compilation video, either or). i'm generally gping to keep these summaries short bc their pitches are short. but thepandaredd's pitch for Daniel Dyce is to have him come back as an Arkham Asylum patient who keeps breaking out of his room #711, and is a gag. Daniel is just delusional, keeps fighting the Batman and Bat-kids while thinking they are the villain Brick-Bat and that Dyce is a hero (read: Dyce is not a hero in his re-imagining, that is his altered reality he thinks he is living. he fails spectacularly every time he tries heroics). alternatively, it could be the Riddler putting on a Batman cowl to fuck with Dyce and make Dyce think Batman is bad (similar as to Hush), taking advantage of Dyce to throw in Batman's way. it is implied that Dyce does belong in Arkham and was not a case of Damon and Pythias* gone wrong, that was just another delusion in thepandaredd's re-imagining. but yeah, just a one-shot gag villain
↳ *: as a fun-fact the nerd in me wants to mention: Daniel Dyce's shtick with his best buddy in terms of the prison-swapping is actually an intertextual reference to the Ancient Greek lore story of Damon and Pythias (except Damon and Pythias was about Pythias being on death row (the version i know is Pythias being framed by King Dionysus I "for trying to kill King Dioynsus I". bc. King Dionysus I wanted to get rid of Pythias. for. reasons that i forget that i think were political), and Damon volunteers to be Pythias' placeholder (and be executed in Pythias' place if Pythias never returns) so Pythias can settle some affairs back home himself and ensure his family is taken care of before he comes back to be executed. then, in the original story, the whole time Damon volunteers and waits and waits and waits, everyone says "Damon, dude, Pythias is totally not going to come back, you're gonna die in his place, i'm so sorry, there is no way he is going to come back" but Damon has faith and then Pythias does come back (and was almost too late, like Damon's head was on the chopping block awaiting the blade, because Pythias got thrown overboard his own ship by pirates and swam as fast as he could to get back on the path so Damon wouldn't die, which is fucking wild, but i digress). and King Dioynsus I is so touched by the sheer Pythagorean Friendship moral ideal these two are that he pardons Pythias! so now both he and Damon get to live, yaayyyy!! and, as a bonus fact, the most popular recent re-telling of this in contemporary times is Dreamsworks' "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas", which is an animated pirate movie, ain't that neat. and, hey, while i got you here, you should watch Breadsword's "Sinbad and The Death of Pirate Cinema" on youtube because all of Breadsword's video-essays are poetic and make me wanna cry). uh, except if you have seen the two-parter thepandaredd made about Daniel Dyce (or somehow read Daniel Dyce's comic yourself), you'll know that's not how shit went down for Daniel Dyce, he did not get that happy ending lmao rip
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★ next one is "Tony Trent (The Face)". again, i have notes about running with this pitch. not included here bc it's Very Much Me which is tangential for a thepandaredd OC listicle and im already pushing the envelope with my hc additions i couldn't bring myself to delete for the public version. so here we go. this one has a pitch way more minimal than Daniel Dyce (#711) right above, but still got more than just "as a gag" so here we are lol (plus, there is no intertextual reference i am recognizing and wanna be a nerd about. sooooo...) thankfully tho, this will be shorter
↳ video is in the May 2023 compilation. is p just putting a Halloween mask on and scaring people.all because he, as a radio announcer and part-time news anchor, got so disheartened and angry by what he had to read everyday, that he just had to become a night-time vigilante. he is like a private-eye pulp detective, "he's like Batman but shitty". "No gadgets, no superpowers, no supervillains, no continuous enemies". thepandaredd's re-imagining pitch is to keep all of that and just, as a parody gag, have this guy show up in Gotham to make a difference and have everyone be like "No, dude, we fight Batman? Who the fuck are you?". because, as thepandaredd so eloquently said "He's just a guy!" that's it lmao rip
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the end, until i update this (if i ever do)
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undeademoprincess · 1 year
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I need to get this off my chest somehow because i just
I feel so fucking conflicted and tired. The constant teeter tottering if not riding both extremes of feeling like a burden, no one wants or seeks out my company the way i do theirs, the "why even bother" mentality always in steadily creeping up on me, feeling constant over stimulation as well as under stimulation (sometimes both at once and theres times its only one effecting me but i get no break from it all) vs knowing and seeing im loved, wanted and appreciated, that im not some forced to be stuck with tag along burden people in my life put up with, and just being able to breath without doubting thoughts and actions of others towards me and feeling the calm that life is supposed to be. Just, all of the cruel thoughts, turning my own mind against itself and those i care for is exhausting and painful, especially when i unfortunately see things that back up the "mental demons", where i sadly agree with it because its persuasive and skilled enough to warp the truth i know for fact, im just too disheartened and tried to aruge back and thus sadly agree and it breaks me. For how it feels, when all this kicks in, it really does feel like some demon or dark intruder gets off on pitting me against things. I can watch someone so small and insignificant happen and when im not on the ball to counter it, it uses that as evidence that "see? You ARE bothering others". The slightest reaction or lack thereof always gets warped and twisted. The tiring part is i KNOW its pitting me against things, myself, and others. I KNOW this "voice" or intrusive thought(s) are just that, intrusive and theyre lying and warping reality to suit its perspective. To constantly rebuttle, reanalyze memories, literally ask what someone meant by what they said something, its beyond draining. Id say its all day, that theres obvious signs to who or what and HOW itd go after everything, but there just isnt. Theres no consistency other than being relentlessly brutal on making me feel alienated despite that very well not being the case. And again, i both know and see that. But i dont always have the heart or energy to fight back, rebuttle every dark thought, PROVE it wrong.
Thats when its actually relentless. Whispers and snarky, slide off the shoulder quick "comments" become whole trains of thought for minutes if not hours. Like a song you cant get out of your head in a way. Every year, as it gets closer and closer to holidays i dont like due to so many loved ones ive lost this time of year, i get seasonal depression and thus the mental beat down just gets worse. I know thats a root cause, with a handful of other things tho far more minor and insignificant from years back. I dont know how to stop all this, or to stop adding fuel to the fire the intrusive thoughts, dark voices, or mental demons (whichever suits your fancy) feed so desperately off of. My go to has always been to back off and isolate myself. Over time i noticed interactions with people are what it really pits against me, so if i back away from people for a while, it loses its fuel source and dies out. I then get my break from the mental warfare, i get hopefully some sort of quality time to myself during this, recover my foot hold over myself, and can eventually turn back to my friends and family comfortably without having to argue with myself their intentions and my self worth.
I dont want pity, i just need to rant and that feeling like im unloved, unwelcomed, a burden, and etc etc is at a ever creeping high at the moment for me right now. Ive always believed in letting out and talking to others about thoughts and emotions, helps yoy process things and open up. Rn i dont feel emotionally or mentally stable enough without absolutely breaking down and crumbling on those who i KNOW are there for me, always have and always will be. They dont need me losing my marbles on them, and i dont like people seeing or hearing me this low. I dont want anyone who unfortunately reads this to worry about me, especially doing anything drastic. Im a tough cookie and ive been through hell, this aint anything but its definitely a dark bumpy road that i WILL navigate. I just, i needed to rant and sort out my thoughts some, and between talking and typing it all out, those work best for me.
So for anyone that does unfortunately read this, sorry for possibly worrying you. I both am and am not fine, and the aspects of me that arent are things i plan on puttinf aside for now and recovering with for a bit. And until i learn anything else that works for me on battling and stopping this mental warfare i always get each year, im taking my people break, for my own selfish reasons. Im purposely going to make it harder to reach me for a while so that way my mind gets the social rest it needs to stop manipulating shit as i experience it. I cant stress how much i WILL be fine. I have my cats luna and bubba, my gecko tubby, my dogs pierre and louie. I have them for warmth, cuddles, kisses and company while im recouping. It might take me a bit to crawl back out of my hole, but i hope if anything i can come back to open arms friend wise when im feeling and doing far better than i am now. That itll be seen and treated like i was on vacation. These arent thoughts and emotions i like showing or displaying, another reason i isolate myself until im better.
If, for whatever reason you feel you need to or have to reach me, those who know how to reach me and can will. Im basically going to shrink access down to me to texts, cause everything else adds to the flip flop warfare of being over stimulating and under stimulating all at once. With everything else goin on in my mind and life rn, i really need whatever energy i have and can spare to get through all this in one piece, finish this semester, and get through this hellish time of the year without seasonal depression also fatiguing me.
I just... im in desperate need of me time if you will. And ill be back to my old usual self in hopefully a few weeks, maybe as long as until after Christmas. I just, i dont wanna don a mask in front of others, struggle to hold it up, break down, and feel worse. I dont like putting up fronts for others
Ill be fine, really. I think the only other thought i wanna express is that even when my mind tells and tries its hardest to convice me otherwise, i know im loved, wanted, and appreciated by people. I just cant confidently tell you why or what about me is worthwhile to others (i struggle with this even on normal days when everything is hunky dory), but i know this simple fact, and even if im struggling to hold onto it, trust me when i say that the usual me that gets so tired and worn out during times like this definitely knows and remembers, and its facts like this that i can, even in rocky times like this, guarantee ill be just fine, because its these tucked away facts that eventually help me get my foot hold again.
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varietyshiw · 2 years
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okay pardon me for going all fandomy on my first post—but can we as a fandom talk about how Glam Metal Family is somehow accidentally some of the best OSDDID/plural rep i’ve literally ever seen?? in my life??
like. im kinda like having trouble organizing my thoughts bc it’s like 5 AM and i haven’t slept yet but just. look back through the series and read between the lines and you’ll find a lot of context clues/evidence supporting the theory
its like. “sebastian” was the original host and is the one who was geared more towards achieving perfection but a new alter named “glam” formed and took over when they listened to the record ches gave them, and then went on to rebel against their father and create a band and such. glam would be the ongoing host long into their adulthood as u can see by the way their style branched out and the way they interact with daily life.
not to say sebastian isn’t still there though! in the very first episode, when glam& is doing work in their office, they look a lot more dreary. they don’t hold glam’s signature smile and talk in a lower, more serious tone. this is a pretty good representation of sebastian’s presentation, and his role in stuff—he acts more behind the scenes, handling financial stuff and working. but he doesn’t actively front much, especially around others—unless he’s triggered out.
remember the box 37 scene?? when glam& opened it and kinda spaced out and then had a flashback for the next two episodes? i’m inclined to believe that the city model inside box 37 was something so personal to sebastian when he was host, that upon glam& seeing it, it was enough to trigger him out for a while and cause them to have a flashback. the way they slowly turned back and stared out the car window after seeing what was inside was on par to my experiences with dissociation, triggers, and flashbacks—just thought that was a pretty neat detail that added all that much more to the amazing rep :)
to sum it all up—being fully honest, if some movie producer wanted to make a series about a character with DID, i would point them directly towards glam. because glam lives a fulfilling life while managing their disorder. yes, they still struggle with their past and their symptoms. and yes, they are flawed in some ways. but they have a wife and kids that they love! they have hobbies, and friends! and best of all, they don’t kill people and are a normal fucking person in society! which is something we clearly don’t get with most plural rep.
really, the nifty thing about glam is that they struggle, they have symptoms that affect their life, and they’re a pretty flawed character—but they still live a good fucking life. which is, honestly? something i’d like to see way more in representation of people with DID.
BLEGGHHGJSGSHDH that was sure a lot of motherfucking wordbarf but thanks for reading it all!!
also i am so fucking excited for season 2 EEEEEE!!!!! i’m especially excited for the series to delve more into glam and ches’s past in season 2, kinda scared for the angst tho RIPPPP but that clip of the band getting excited over smthn in the trailer more than makes up for it lol :)
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creamiecoups · 3 years
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mornings ♡ ·˚ ₊
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                                           ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ─── 
↠  summary : your boyfriend seungcheol just can’t get enough of you, even the morning after an intimate and long night spent together.
↠  pairing : boyfriend!seungcheol x reader
↠ warnings : smut, swearing, dirty talk, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (female receiving), a bit of cum eating, slight degradation, slight daddy kink
↠ word count : 2.1K words
↠ author’s note : hey guys im vi, and this is my first ever smut that im posting on my blog so i thought why not start with seungcheol ;-) i hope you enjoy it !!
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"Oh you're here."
You jumped a little at hearing your boyfriend's groggy morning voice, he wasn't meant to wake up this early, at least not before you finished preparing breakfast.
"Cheol...you almost gave me a heart atrack," you squeaked, turning back around to finish mixing the pancake batter.
"Sorry baby...why did you leave me in bed?" He sulked, hugging you from the back as his arms wrapped around your waist.
"Cheol it's 8 in the morning and your already sulking? I had to make breakfast so of course I got out of bed," you huffed, as he kissed your cheek tenderly.
"You should've stayed in bed until I woke up though, I missed you."
Chuckling at his words, you turned in his arms to face his pouty face.
"Well we both know how that goes...you tell me five more minutes of cuddling and next minute it's already 12 and I'm worn out and late for class."
Seungcheol laughed, his dimples on full display as he looked down at your face.
"Well do you ever regret it?"
"Not really...but tell you what, my prof will end up giving me an absolute zero by the end of the semester just because of my missed attendance."
"Well fuck him...why don't you turn up to classes today extra late and say you were getting good dick so you came late," he suggested, without any shame whatsoever.
Your mouth hung open as you stared at him in utter disbelief.
"Sometimes I wonder if your heads screwed on right."
Seungcheol smiled, leaning down to peck your lips before they trailed down to your neck, where many marks were left, evident of the long night you and your boyfriend had shared last night.
"Cheol...th-this will be hard enough to cover....n-no more," you somehow made out, with Seungcheol placing open mouthed kisses all over your neck.
And of course, he ignored you, as he picked you up and placed you on the opposite bench which was clear of any kitchenware or objects, the abandoned pancake batter long forgotten.
"Didn't you get enough last night? Please give me a break and let me eat some food, I'm hungry," you said, as you suddenly remembered last night's happenings. He wouldn't let you go, and you lost count of how many times he got you to cum, and the amount of times you cried out for him to stop.
Seungcheol's lips left your neck, as he looked at you with a smirk plastered on his beautiful face.
"Babygirl, I could never get enough of you....and I'm just as hungry as you are, but for something else," he whispered the last line in your ear, as his words sent shivers down your spine.
He spread your legs a little, just enough so he could get between them as he wrapped his hands around your waist again, tilting his head, he pressed his lips against yours.  His hips pushed up right into yours, making you feel how hard he really was just through his thin boxers. Your hands gripped his shoulder tightly as his hot tongue glided down your body before stopping at the neck lining of your shirt.
"Take it off," he muttered gruffly.
Even though you wanted to protest and go back to cooking, the way he was looking at you, and the undeniable heat that was pooling between your legs told you otherwise. You took your shirt off, as Seungcheol straight away attached his lips to your right nipple, a quiet sigh left your parted lips.
"I love that you don't wear a bra in the morning," he whispered against your skin, as you felt him smile.
You smiled, your nails slightly digging into Seungcheol's shoulders at the feeling of his tongue on your sensitive bud.
"As much as I love taking my time with you, I really just feel like fucking you today," he groaned, his lips trailing back up to your neck.
"Lean back baby, I want you flat against the counter."
You did as you were told, hissing at the contact of your bare skin on the cold countertop.
"Ch-cheol...it's c-cold," you whined, shivering as he smiled knowingly.
"I know...don't worry, I'll make you warm in no time."
He pulled your tights down, along with your panties, the cold air hitting your core making you shudder.
"Look at you...already so wet for me...and you said you needed a break?" he asked, tilting his head a little as he looked at you, eyes clouded with nothing but lust.
He didn't really give you a chance to reply, as he grabbed your thighs, giving you one last glance before dipping his head between them.
You bit your bottom lip harshly, moaning softly as you felt Seungcheol's tongue flush against your entrance.
"Fuck baby, I swear you taste extra good in the morning," he groaned against you skin, before he bought two of his fingers up to your mouth.
"Open up."
You opened your mouth, letting him push his fingers in as your eyes fluttered shut, lips closing around his fingers as you sucked on them.
He took them out suddenly, making you whine as he chuckled.
"Maybe if you be good, I'll let you suck me off later, hm?" He said, making you nod.
"Then be a good girl for me and moan as loud as you can okay? And remember, you are not allowed to cum until I say so."
You nod once again, bucking your hips into his fingers eagerly as you felt him rub them at your entrance.
"Words baby....or you don't get what you want," Seungcheol warned.
"O-okay daddy," you mutter impatiently, biting down on your lip.
Without another word, he pushed his fingers into you roughly, making you jolt up from the sudden wave of pleasure.
"Sh-shit, cheol!"
You moaned over and over again, as Seungcheol pumped his fingers in and out of you, while his tongue sucked on your clit harshly. Your thighs automatically shut around his head, the pleasure making it too much for you to handle, and your muscles already going weak.
He suddenly stopped, making you groan loudly in annoyance.
"Why, cheol?"
Except speaking, he gave you a glance before grabbing your thighs and spreading them wider, beyond your comfort.
"Keep them here," he warned, before he straightened his back, his fingers finding your dripping entrance once again.
"F-Fuck," you curse through gritted teeth, it was hard enough with his assault on your most sensitive area, but to make it worse, he kept his burning gaze on you, a dirty smirk plastered on his face as he watched you writhe in pleasure.
"I-I...fuck....n-need to...c-cum.." you choked on your words as he added a third finger, his thumb pressing down roughly on your clit as you cried out his name.
"Not yet baby."
Seungcheol leaned down, his lips attaching onto your right nipple, as he pulled on it slightly, but it was enough to make you scream.
You closed your eyes shut, your mouth hanging open as you came without warning, it was just too much to handle that you didn't seem to care what Seungcheol would do to you since you broke his number one rule.
He took his fingers out, and you realised he wasn't touching you, but you were too tired to open your eyes, or even care.
His fingers found your hair, as he pulled you up, and that had your eyes shooting open as you gasped in pain.
"Seungcheol what the fuck! That hurt!"
His eyes shot daggers to yours, as he only pulled you closer by your hair.
"Didn't I tell you not to fucking cum until I say so?" He drawled, making you swallow harshly.
"S-Sorry..."
"Sorry what?"
"Sorry...d-daddy," you stuttered out, avoiding his burning gaze.
"You know I hate it when you don't do as I say..." He trailed off, turning you around and pushing you forward so you were leaning down against the counter, you cheek touching the cold marble.
"But since I am pretty impatient today, I'll let you off."
His words cut you off guard, as you bit your lip in anxiousness....Seungcheol has never let you off after you mess up, it was always ended in some sort of cruel punishment.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear Seungcheol unbuckling his belt, before he suddenly pushed into you without any warning, making you scream loudly.
"God, I fucked you so much last night....why are you still so tight?" He growled, grabbing your hips as he slammed into you over and over again.
You no longer felt how cold the marble counter was, as the only thing your mind could focus on was Seungcheol's rough onslaught and the sound of your skin slapping against each other deliciously.
It went on for a little longer, before you started clenching around Seungcheol, as you knew you were close.
You felt how Seungcheol's thrusts slowly started getting sloppier, before you felt his warm liquid fill you up, a heavenly groan leaving his lips as you moaned loudly.
He pulled out, turning you around and pushing your back against the counter once again, the sudden movement causing you to see stars.
"Fuck....I love seeing my cum drip out of you, you don't know how beautiful you look right now...all pretty and full of my cum," he moaned, licking his lips as he guided his cock back to your entrance, pushing in slowly before pulling out again to see more of his cum drip out as you shuddered.
He did that a few more times before pushing into you completely again and this time, thrusting into you a little slower.
"Ch-Cheol....I-I....going t-to...c-cum," you stuttered out, gripping the counter so hard your knuckles started turning white.
"Ah yes...cum darling."
Taking his words as a go, you clench around him once again, feeling yourself almost at the edge before he suddenly stopped moving.
Seungcheol chuckled, pulling out of you before smacking your ass.
"Are you serious!?" You squeaked, as you watched him pull his boxers back up.
"What? I'm satisfied....and you already came right?" He deadpanned.
"Are you really going to do this to me?" You said in disbelief.
"You really thought I would let you go without a punishment? Baby, you know I'll always get you back."
"Cheol please I'm begging you," you whined, as he helped you to stand up.
"Now let's get your clothes back on, I don't want you spilling my cum all over the kitchen floor, keep it in okay? And maybe if I think you've learnt your lesson by the time I come home, I'll give you what you want," he said, kissing your cheek before he pulled your pants up, along with your panties.
"B-But you don't come home until 5...I have classes to attend today...I can't wait that long," you pouted, holding onto his wrists.
"I'm sure you can sweetheart," he beamed, moving a few hair strands out of your face.
"This is cruel, cheol....I hate you," you huffed, pushing him away before finding your shirt and putting it back on.
Seungcheol laughed, grabbing you by the waist.
"I love you baby....but you need to learn your lesson, right? You know I never let you off...and if you were really scared, you wouldn't have done that in the first place-"
"Cheol please I'll do anything you want please I'm sorry....I-I'll skip class...I don't care just don't do this to me please," you begged, giving him your saddest face ever, all the shame of how desperate you really were leaving you.
You knew your entire day would be ruined, as the only thing that would probably run through your mind while your lecturer blabbed on about god knows what would be Seungcheol deep inside of you as you came undone.
"Hey now....you'll be so busy during the day that you'll most likely forget," he chuckled, pecking your lips.
Frowning deeply, you took a deep breath in, as you felt yourself get slightly angry with how cocky he was acting.
"You know what? I don't need you, it's not like I can't get off by myself...guess I'll just excuse myself during my lecture and go someplace so I can finger myself until I come all over my fingers...and you won't be there to clean me up...I'll send you a photo if your lucky," you whisper the last line in his ear, before pulling away to see his expression.
He bought his face closer to yours, until you felt his hot breath tickling your cheek.
"You wouldn't dare do that," he snapped, but you took it as a challenge.
"I wouldn't dare? Well you'll see then," you whispered, winking at him as you pretended to walk away before he trapped you between the counter and his body.
"Fuck this...I can't take it anymore......get on your knees."
You smiled deviously, knowing you finally got him to snap.
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nahoyaglock · 3 years
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hi!! omg firstly can we talk about how absolutely aesthetic ur blog is?? i literally had to rub my eyes to process how DAMN PRETTY IT ISSSS omg!! so, from what i understood requests are open so if i could please have a tamaki suoh comfort drabble where the reader is really insecure about their appearance? if it’s too much i apologize, i hope you have a nice day/night! don’t overwork urself luv <33 bye bye!
PLS WAIT THIS ASK MADE MY DAY IM QICHD SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT OMG 🥺🥺 AND TOTALLY! I CAN DO THAT!! pls excuse this tho bc i havent watched ouran in like cjdj 3 years 😭😭 also im not sure if you meant facial wise or body wise so i opted w body, i hope thats okay, if you'd like another one thats facial wise just let me know!
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!!sfw + comfort!!
bf!tamaki suoh x gn!reader
warning: use of daddy, tamaki calls himself daddy in the anime so i thought it would be more like him if it was added
you stood infront of the mirror, trying on different outfits, though none seemed to spark your interest. as a matter of fact, you didn't like the way you looked in them. you had been infront of the mirror for almost 2 hours preparing for your date with tamaki that you didn't even realize you were late.
you stared at your body in the mirror, you felt frustation at the way nothing fit the way you wish it would. you'd think, 'why doesnt it bend here, or curve here' and slowly the frustration grew into sadness. you plopped down onto the bed with a sigh and held you head in your hands, almost missing the sound of your door opening.
"y/n– baby are you okay?" you heard your boyfriend say, worry evident in his tone as he rushed to your side, kneeling infront of you. you sniffled and looked down at your boyfriend, wiping your tears with your sleeve. "t-tamaki," your broken voice cried out.
"hey, whats wrong baby? c'mere," he cooed to you as he sat next to you, enveloping you in his arms as he stroked your hair, placing small kisses on your forehead. "nothing i tried on looks right, i hate the way my body looks." he frowns as he hears this, grabbing your chin and lifting your head gently to look into your eyes.
"I think you look amazing in everything! your body may not be built the same as those who fit societys standards but that doesnt make it ugly baby. your body is beautiful the way it is and," he grabs your hands and stands up, pulling you with him as he places his hands on your waist, "i wouldn't want you any other way baby. your absolutely gorgeous in my eyes."
you pout at his words, holding back tears as he rubs your sides and places kisses along your jaw and atop your temple. he pulls back to look at the outfit your wearjng and his face lights up. "you look absolutely stunning in this baby!" he booms, and places a kiss to your lips. "daddy will make all your insecurities go away~"
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piknim · 5 years
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im about to text my dad at 1 am cause WHERES MY GOOGLE PLAY/YOUTUBE RED! no please i cant have advertising
#mostly joking he probably had a good reason to cancel or accidentally removed me#rip music#i will b v sad if i loose my playlists#OK theyre still there i just cant listen#IS THIS WHY I NOW HAVE NON VIDEO ADS#I DIDNT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER#i love music but i can get that on yt im jist upset about having yt ads again#i went to check netflix and hulu cause maybe i got cut off but no i have those#and netflix scared me cause it paused before loading#I thought it was sending me to the log in screen#im all freaked out bc im havign a little bit of a bad mental day so im worse than usual#like what if my dad somehow found all my old posts from when i was depressed and s/cidal#and saw the bad posts i made#its ok dad i regret those im just too lazy to erase the evidence#i barely had enough brain to function past telling myself to die let alone process all the other emotions#tho some i probably wouldnt regret my stepmom was a bitch to me sometimes#like when i told her i was stressed out and she went thru all the reasons i cant be stressed basically boiling down to im lazy#which tru but i had a lot going on mentally i didnt know how to handle it at that point#she didnt ask or seem concerned she just made me feel terrible and no i wont forget that and i do plan on maybe bringing it up one day#so she knows i wasnt just a lazy mooch i literally wanted to die and didnt know how to process my feelings yet#but getting to have a few yrs with little commitment helped cure that#also quitting art that was a big one
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deadendtracks · 3 years
Note
THE THING IS all her suspicion was triggered by her being upset she wasnt given enough praise. She said that. She said that she was confused because larson (and other friends) hadnt personally congratulated her, to the point that she emailed them. So yeah some points do point to an abusive upbringing- i certainly think a lack of validation is at the root of this- but she was being completely unreasonable initially, and she was wrong to attempt to destroy larson’s career over it- sure, she has every right to be angryover the letter. But her anger over the book originally had nothing to do with it, she thought larson was coopting ‘her’ Good Deed, and thats what upset her and made her go after it. Even tho larson has every right to write about kidney donation inspired by dawn, and larson acknowledged this (she didnt gaslight her, im pretty sure both her original emails say ‘yeah, i was inspired by you, and i transformed it’.
Also like. The way the letter talks, about her patting herself on the back for empathy, also comes across very saviour-y- not necessarily a white saviour, but an able bodied one, and then theres her one year party for it…
Ultimately its like, larson absolutely shouldnt have used the letter. But she did have every right to write about kidney donation. And dawn comes across badly not because she’s explaining her motives, but because of the stuff on the outside surrounding it, and the fact that her initial anger over the book wasnt really justified and just came because she, again, decided larson coopted her ‘thing’ rather than praise her.
honestly i'm ... not interested in getting into a discourse about this or litigating it, it all happened ad nauseum on twitter. you're welcome to think what you want, i don't think Dawn behaved in a productive manner, i'm just riffing on some points that bothered me about the whole thing and that I felt resonances with. I don't know if you've read the follow up and the twitter threads I linked, but they definitely give a different impression about the basic facts involved.
your description here is heavy on your interpretation. mine was heavy with mine. you may even be right. my point was to draw out parts of the discourse that were completely ignored in favor of the person who plagiarized and lied and gaslit someone about it all. Maybe you think that's justified, and maybe you'd be right about that too, but whatever! that's fine with me.
I haven't said the author didn't have the right to write about the donation, or to write that particular story about saviorism. My last series of posts even said that might have been an element to kidney lady's motivations. I have said that she obviously deliberately and with forethought -- admitting it was wrong to do in her chat group but going ahead anyway -- plagiarized a letter posted to a private facebook group and then systematically lied about it, and it was all done knowingly according to the evidence from discovery.
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kuroosdumbslut · 4 years
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Keigo Takami x Reader: Memories of the Sun
*TW: death of a sibling, depression mention; this is the first angsty thing i’ve written in a while, it’s not a heavy focus on reader and keigo’s relationship i more just wanted to write something sad for a emotional release, and this one made me cry, so- (im just a crybaby tho) i might have projected a bit but enjoy!*
Rain pounded on the windows of your shared apartment, loud and deafening. There wasn’t a chance that you all would be able to go out and do much, not like you were planning to go anywhere. Keigo sat nearby on the couch with his attention mostly focused on you, prepared to give you his full attention if need be. You were curled up against Keigo, idly scrolling on your phone, but you were seemingly zoned out seeing as you hadn’t moved the screen much from it’s current place. Keigo knows the pain you’re feeling, the sadness evident by the tears quietly slipping down your face. Losing someone is always hard, but losing your younger sibling when you were practically their parent must be awful. It’s been hard on you since your brother was killed; your depression got so much worse and the medications just made you feel sick. It didn’t help that seemingly everything reminded you of them; a new video game from the franchise they loved, restaurants of their favorite foods, snack foods that were always on hand when they were still here… 
The silence was the loudest thing in the room for such a long time, Keigo jumped slightly when you spoke up. Your voice was soft and a little scratchy from not using it for an extended period of time, sadness and anxiety laced in there that made Keigo’s heart hurt for you. “I...I think I want to clean (brother’s name)’s room…” Keigo froze, holding your hand and looking at you for a second to gauge all emotions he saw. “(Y/n)...are you sure? Are...you ready to?” You silently nodded, squeezing his hand as if it was the only thing keeping you grounded in reality. “Yeah… I think I’m ready. I just...I-I need to do it.” You sounded strained and tense, whether that be from holding back tears or some intrusive thought, Keigo couldn’t tell, and by the looks of it, you might not know either. Keigo pulled you onto his lap for a moment, holding you tightly and pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. “Do you want me to come in and help or stay out of the way?” The moment his question left his lips, you clung onto him, panic settling in your eyes. “Please come with me...I don’t wanna be alone in there.” 
While it was just a few strides to get in front of your brother’s door, it took much longer in your mind. You stayed in front of the door with Keigo for a long while, trying to calm yourself down before you entered the room. You slowly opened the door, taking a few steps in and seating yourself on the edge of his bed. Tears welled up in your eyes and blurred your vision. Everything was untouched since the day he died; bed still unmade, clothing strewn over parts of the floor, empty bottles and cans sitting on the desk that held his gaming consoles and tv. Keigo quietly took a seat by you, tears also in his eyes. While Keigo obviously didn’t know him as long as you did, he was a nice kid. Kind of annoying, as all teens are, but a good kid overall. The boys would talk video games and lore on some of the series of games they played. Your eyes were pointed at the floor, looking at the items that were scattered across the floor by the bed. Some shirts, soda cans, wrappers...all pretty small items, save for the clothing. One shirt stuck out to both you and Keigo; a black Skyrim shirt. Keigo had gotten it for your brother a few birthdays ago, having recently bonded with him on the game’s lore. Your brother was excited to get it and even gave Keigo a quick hug, something (b/n) didn’t do too often, grinning ear to ear. At that point onwards, Keigo became an older brother figure to your brother and often went to Keigo for advice that you often had trouble giving your brother. 
Band posters were all over his walls, some of the posters previously having been owned by you. You and your brother shared the same taste in music and often jammed out together or shared new songs with each other. Wordlessly, you got up and used your phone to play the music playlist you and your brother shared, adding in new songs for each other to discover. You connected your phone to his speaker, setting it down on an empty space on the dresser. As the songs played, you spent your time slowly going around cleaning and picking up things. You reminisced back to when you picked him up from school one day, he’d had an absolute shit day, so you blasted your playlist for him and drove him around the city ‘till the sky was dark and everything was illuminated in neon lights and orange street lights. You both felt invincible that night, like you were two untouchable gods that were on the run; it was amazing. 
Clothing was put away or put in the hamper to get washed, the bed was made, Keigo came in with the vacuum and cleaned the floor, everything was getting done slowly, but surely. Then, the song came on; the song you and your brother both loved from childhood, you often sang it together, intentionally singing in the wrong key to get the other to laugh. The same song that you both listened to when you both had your own heartbreaks, when you finally moved out and agreed to let him be your “roommate”...when you both remembered the not so fun times of childhood. You set down whatever you were holding and curled in on yourself, plopping down on the floor and sobbing heavily. Keigo was beside you immediately, enveloping you in his arms and rocking you gently. You could tell he was also crying, and he knew what this song meant to the both of you. Death never gets easier, you’d cry a lot more in the future, and you’ll have days where you just want to scream at the gods for taking your brother from you, but Keigo’s there for you to catch you when you fall a bit too hard. To Keigo, it’s the least he could do for you since you’ve saved him more than he’d ever tell. 
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zed-36 · 3 years
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@ 18: the questions weren't actually that strict! you could interpret them however you liked :) that said, im curious what you would add to the story? i love reading ur ideas and interpretations of the characters n stuff!
oh no prob, i did enjoy thinking of what i could change without adding anything new (i will talk too much if i dont contain myself) BUT since you have asked...
ill share these ideas as a general change to the series as a whole (WR and Acceleracers- also i will call Acceleracers AC for short if i need to).
There is a lot i feel needs to change- but two major points are lore (and direction of it in the story) and characters.
The lore of the series is all weird due to what changed between WR and AC, but its also too surface level. its for kids, its probably why its not so expansive. but it does leave a lot of confusion to me and while i would have to spend much more time to fully “rebuild” the world, i will give some ideas on what i would see changed.
One, at least making it make sense all the way through. i think Acceleracers had the best ideas but it shouldve been expanded on in WR- WR barely touched on actual Acceleron lore. Overall i would like to see the Accelerons 100% remade from the ground up. i LOVE aliens and alien society but i feel all we know of them is they race. and thats its. and sadly AC wasnt seen through to where we may have seen a bit more. but they need to be redone, with lore also point to exactly why the drones woke up when they did, what their drive is, etc. Why is Gelorum the way she is too, very important lor aside from characters. I wouldnt want the series to become a huge Lore Dump but there are moments where they intended to drop lore and they just. dont really do that, at least not well. Imagining the series with more extensive lore would obviously see it being longer than what it is, which i think makes sense. in the end if i was to properly write out all lore it would be a huge rebuild of 1) the Accelerons as an alien society, in depth 2) the full origins of the Drones/Gelorums (how they ended up where they did, what makes them how they are now and 3) a more cohesive plotting of events that would lead to lore revealed. also developing what “Scrim” and “clyp” were, along with the actual depth of Silencerz and how far back they go has been on my mind a lot. scrim and clyp just vanish from lore but in my headcanon backstory for Gelorum, i mention how those things existed too. if anyone has more specific questions on lore tho i can answer those individually! its just a lot to go over lol.
The characters though, oh god where do i start. not gonna touch on every individual (feel free to ask about someone and how i would rewrite them/change them), but theres a lot i would want to see different.
Theres some good ideas in the series that are just not explored much, or the actions dont feel like they have impacts. And many characters have literally zero backstory to go off of... Everyone needs at least some kinda origin in mind, doesnt have to be said but knowing where they come from is one key detail that i think is nice to drop some times. characters referncing locations, where they went, etc... its little but its good to have. In the WR comics, most of these characters do have origins! but theyre completely forgotten in the movies it seems. it would have been cool it WR tied together some of these ‘really good drivers’ and maybe they were in the same races together or something. there are 35 people and none of them seem to know each other at least not in detail- other than Vert and Alec who are clearly friends. Kurt Wylde was written to have done some “illegal” modifications in a race, what is someone there knew him? what if it brought up tension/suspicions? Things like that, its all part of where they come from and its a shame the movies just dont connect them very well.
I think theres some specific characters i will give examples to ‘rewrtiting’ and most of it is AC focused!
Kurt & Markie..... i love them, really do! but after WR i just did not like where they went. i get it, kinda ironic for Markie to become such an opposite. buuuut it was a bit much to me. first off, i would actually expand on the “crime” and that would 100% change the outcome of the two. the period between WR and AC shouldve gone different and in turn, i think wouldve changed up MM and Teku completely! i want to imagine Kurt is trying to get away from bad habits after WR but, perhaps has a really good deal with someone who had also gotten him into illegal car part business in the past. he is tempted and ropes Markie in with the idea they could do so more secretly but are caught, and while Markie is nervous and young he spills all the beans, but none of that evidence goes to Kurt and he stays silent, managing to get out of it. However instead of Kurt going to Teku and Markie going to MM.... Kurt tries to join Teku in the idea of joining a less rowdy gang, but Vert believes full Kurt let his brother take all the blame- so they dont allow him in. He goes for MM, which takes him easily but this team’s energy really doesnt help him. In turn, Markie leaves jail and Vert is swift to allow Markie into Teku because theyre friends! and it helps keep Markie in a better place, not wanting to get back into bad stuff. The important thing is tho, this switch up wouldnt result in super harcore, asshole Kurt. i feel like instead, he would be in an awkward place of wanting to improve himself but MM’s rebellious attitude coaxes him into worse attitudes. AND... very much an oppurtunity for Gelorum to manipulate him once more, as the accelechargers are much more important to acquire, with multiple, we’d loop back again. in the end though! i could imagine the story would still bring in the same scenario- Markie gets taken by drones, Kurt saves him, they rekindle and Kurt also comes to realize he shouldnt give in to the ways he used to practice.
i think for AC, in order to find more interest in the characters,  a switch up with the teams would be neat. Markie and Kur swapping was always on my mind, but i have thought about Teku!Taro. I think it would’ve been cool to throw in an background guy from WR into MM... like Harrison Lau. some more familiar faces would bring interesting dyanmics considering their backgrounds. and it think it wouldve fleshed out the teams a bit more in places they lacked.
Another thing i think is clear is there is lots of unexplored potential. Like dyanmics i express with Markie, characters like Lani, Karma, Tork, etc... oh there is so much i would add for them. Karma has a weird thing with being mentioned to look like Gelorum, and her prefectionism too but it was never touched on. What if it caused conflict? What if it made her question their morals? Or with Tork- i would honestly just rewrite how he tackles Tone’s death and the resolution, that whole thing in movie was weird and messy and made no sense to me imo. Lanu had something going for her but she felt so disconnected from the WR characters in AC, which is a shame! oh there are so many to go over lol. i hope to tackle some of these loose ends in the fics i have in mind but yeah... there is so much to say about changing these characters!!
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svankmajerbaby · 3 years
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5,8, 11,12,13, 23 & 25 ?? :P
thanks for the ask! sorry for taking so long to answer, i was on mobile :^(
5. character you were most surprised to end up writing? the toy story characters, to be quite honest. i have always loved the franchise but i never really thought i had much to write about it... i didn’t even question much the whole “who’s andy’s father??” thing i think a lot of people in the toy story fandom wonder a lot. but when toy story 4 came out i felt like there were a lot of stories i wanted to know. of course, i needed to know what had happened to bo peep, and how her relationship with woody would have changed after so long of being apart; that led me to reexamine their relationship based on who they were as characters, and go on a whole character analysis of both woody and bo as what they had probably gone through and which were their formative experiences... and after that i just needed to start writing down everything i had in my head. 8. favorite genre to write? i think i’m on the fence between family drama/romance and horror, with a bit of science fiction sprinkled in. the thing is, while family drama, romance and horror come easy more or less, i always get carried away with sci fi, needing to plan the new futuristic worlds, how it is different from tthe present, how characters interact with this world, etc. 11. what aspect of your writing do you think has improved the most since you started writing? definitely dialogues!! if there’s something i’m proud of (more or less) is how far i’ve come when writing dialogues. now i feel they’re a lot more natural and realistic, though just how good they are at communicating vital info is anyone’s guess really...
12. your weakness as an author fsghsdjhsdgdj i really don’t know, it’s going to be just my assessment of what i think i should improve on... i think i’m not too good at rhythm and flow, like i feel my stories aren’t very well organized and can feel boring at times or stilted, in a way. when i reread my finished stories/completed chapters i often find myself wanting to skip over scenes i feel are dull to get to the more fun stuff :^/ i do that with a lot of books tho, especially on the second or third read tho, so idk 13. your strengths as an author i think i’ve improved a lot on my dialogues?? i think. i used to hate it, because it always felt like such a chore while i enjoyed much more writing lush descriptions of environments and places and emotions and memories... but now i can spend pages and pages in a free flow of consciousness while inhabiting these characters and arguing from their points of view. this can become a weakness tho -im kind of feeling lately that i’m relying too much on dialogue instead of just... yknow, actions. which are hard to write too. 23. any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing? i don’t really know what “obscure life experiences” mean, but i’ve done things like trekking a mountain and walked through a forest and taken piano lessons and been in a car crash and seen an armed robbery and had regular anxiety attacks so i feel i can describe all of these more or less accurately... apart from that, there’s a lot of things i have to rely on other people’s experiences or accounts to write them properly, so i do a lot of research in general. im sorry im not sure what to answer fdsgfsgh i don’t really get this question 25. copy/paste a few sentences or a paragraph youre particularly proud of i’m still of the mind that The Best Thing I’ve Written So Far is a frankenstein/barbie fanfic that i feel is just... exactly what i wanted it to be, and tbh i don’t see any changes i would do to it, it’s both what i wanted to read and what i wanted other people to see. it’s a fanfic, so it’s not at all original, and i’ve borrowed quite a few words from the original (excellent) text, but i think i’ve added some ideas of my own... idk im just really really proud of it.
“It’s alive,” she whispered to Willard, or perhaps to herself.
But Vivianna was not overjoyed. She was not proud. And she was not happy at all. As soon as she could see what she had done, what she had brought to life, she recoiled in disgust and withdrew the light from it, as if, in darkness, it would disappear like a child’s nightmare.
Vivianna had attempted to make her creature in her image: she sought, as she was brought up, only the most delicate and striking beauty. She saw no reason as to give life to a being devoid of pleasant features, of perfectly shaped limbs, of the most perfect pieces she could manage to get her hands on. And so, Vivianna had fished her parts from very select places: the most cared-for, elite parts of the cemetery, where models and actresses were buried as they left too soon, too young; the dumpsters of shopping malls and large stores, where the broken mannequins were disposed of, but which could still be of use. She had washed everything so meticulously, taking the grime and the blood from nails, from crevices, better than the most professional mortician. Vivianna had used her sewing skills to attach the disparate limbs, to select and put together those fingers she found the nimblest, the lips she found the fullest, the feet she found the daintiest. When good parts were not available, that’s when the mannequins came of aid. She used heat to melt the plastic of the mannequin parts into the flesh, to attach everything neatly, cleanly, perfectly. Perfectly. Vivianna had never worked on anything as much, with as much attention to detail, with so much effort and hope. In her mind, the creature –her very own doll –would be perfect.
Perfect! Her own creation, perfect! As the heat of life animated the body, the seams became evident, the lines between skin and plastic. The scars of the stitching, that which Vivianna had done by hand, had not healed as well as she had expected; a newly beating heart pounded blood into the veins, and that blood leaked and dripped slowly through the badly sealed holes of the doll’s body. And beyond the skin… Vivianna felt sick to her stomach. She had attempted, in her pursuit of perfection, to copy herself –but even better, even more beautiful, with all those features Vivianna wished would be enhanced. But in her pursuit, the body’s proportions were extreme and deeply uncanny. It was all about small, off measurements: the bust, slightly too big for any human; the waist, just a bit too small, small enough to be wasp-like; the length of the legs, leaning toward the monstrous. And the features –the huge, blue, glassy eyes, surrounded by long, full lashes; the full, reddened, vein-crossed lips, which the doll could barely open in a forced pout; the tiny, thin nose, through which the doll tried its best to breathe; and the full head of blonde hair which, in the process had burned in places, or had become dirty and frizzy and greasy and stringy. Perhaps, Vivianna managed to think, it was what the magic of animation did to her creature: as a still figure, much like a mannequin, it could be slightly unsettling but, all things considered, a thing of beauty; but in the flesh, moving like –or how it imagined like –a person would move –something was so terribly off in how it moved, in how the body reacted to the movement, in how everything was placed and tried to place itself in the space.
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minsungsfork · 5 years
Text
By your side
Genre: Hybrid!Stray Kids AU, Fluff, Slight slight angst(?)
Summary: First you were finishing loads of work, then you’re suddenly being cuddled by 9 boys.
Warnings: Mentions of death
A/N: im half-asleep as i did this so sorry for mistakes specially to the anon who requested this, i hope you’ll still like it tho (*゚∀゚*)
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You opened the door to be met by Hyunjin and Jisung, like the usual.
“Hi Y/N!” Jisung greeted you and clinging into your arm.
“Hello Jisung,” you spoke quietly, being tired from work.
Hyunjin pulled the younger off your arm, making the squirrel whine. You chuckled before excused yourself to go upstairs, the two boys nodding and leaving to go to the kitchen.
With your last amount of strength, you managed to enter your room, placing the stacks of papers on your desk. Your boss has given you loads of work prior to a new project your company’s working on.
You sighed, pulling a chair for you to sit on. Grabbing your laptop, you have decided to work to get things done quickly, not bothering that you were still in your work clothes.
“Let’s work for a while before going to sleep,” you mumbled to yourself, typing away on your laptop.
When you meant ‘work for a while’ you didn’t mean it to end in 3 am in the morning. You haven’t noticed time pass by until your gaze fell on your watch. You cursed to yourself, stretching before going to the bathroom to change.
Once you finished changing, you sat in front of your laptop since you were determined to get work done so you could spend more time with your boys. You worked while listening to Chan’s song recommendations, you haven’t noticed but you were slowly drifting off to sleep until your eyes closed shut.
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“Y/N! Good Morning!” Jeongin came barging in your room to find you asleep on your desk, head rested on your arms that squished your cheek.
You continued to sleep and Jeongin didn’t bother to wake your peaceful slumber, considering it was only 7 in the morning. Just when Jeongin left your room, your phone rang, immediately waking you up. You fumbled with your phone and answered right away without looking at the called id.
“Hello?” Grogginess was evident in your voice.
“Hey Y/N it’s me, your broth—“ You immediately ended the line, not wanting to hear your sibling.
You had a bad relationship with your brother, he had always picked on you, bullied you and always turned you into the bad kid that made your parents look at him and him only. That was the reason why you had agreed to stay in your grandparent’s house so you would stay away from your home, more importantly your brother.
It was childish considering you are now both adults but your feelings are still hurt and you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him. Though, you haven’t checked your parents for a while now. Shaking the thoughts away, you once again worked on your laptop.
Then your phone rang again, the caller showing your brother and you decided to ignore it. He kept on calling and you kept on ignoring. The door opened revealing the youngest, Jeongin.
“Y/N—Oh! You’re awake, breakfast is ready.” Jeongin popped his head inside your room, calling you over for breakfast.
“I’ll be there Innie,” you replied to him and he left the room. You ignored the phone call one last time before going down to eat.
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“Thanks for the meal boys, I gotta go back and do work. I’ll be upstairs if you need me,” you told the boys in which they nodded in response. You got up and headed to your room.
Your hands almost reached for your phone but you remembered that your brother had called you several times so your attention averted to your laptop.
With a sigh, you continued to work. Your sleepy eyes scanning the papers and lazily writing them down on your laptop. Once again your phone rang and being fed up with the calls, you decided to suck it up and answer.
You pressed the answer button and placed the phone on speaker so you could easily work.
“Hello?” You didn’t answer him at first.
“What do you want?”
“Y/N! You finally answered.” Your face scrunched in a form of anger.
“Pass me with the shit talk and just go straight to the point.”
“This may shock you,” he paused, “but, Y/N, our parents are dead.”
Your face dropped and your fingers immediately stopped moving. You could only stare at your phone in shock.
“W-what do you mean dead? They can’t be dead!” You refused to believe what your brother had mentioned.
“Y/N, they’re really dead, they got into a huge accident and died right after. I’m sorry.”
You could feel the guilt sinking in you, thinking about how little you spent your time with them. You hated that you completely avoided them, thinking that they only cared about your brother. It pained you to think that you haven’t said you loved them, you haven’t showed that you cared for them even if you were hurting.
Now it’s all too late.
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It was around 3 pm and the boys were getting worried about you, since you haven’t stepped out since breakfast which was 7 hours ago.
Changbin volunteered to bring food to your room, knowing you were busy doing work. Changbin slowly ascended the stairs, making way to your room. He had trouble with opening the door but be managed to pry it open.
“Y/N? I have food for you,” Changbin called, looking for you inside the room.
He got confused when he didn’t find you in the bedroom. He then went to the bathroom to check. You had left the door open, much to his surprise, and what was inside surprised him more.
You were curled up in a ball inside the bathtub, your eyes red and puffy from crying. You were also mumbling to yourself so Changbin rushed to your side.
“Y/N! Y/N? Are you okay? What happened?” You only looked at him with glossy eyes before breaking down in his arms.
He rubbed your back in a soothing manner to help you settle down. His free arm softly clutching your hair as you continue to cry on his shoulder. You never showed weakness to the boys and you always had a bright smile on your face, perhaps seeing you cry breaks their heart into pieces.
Once you were starting to stop sobbing, he carried you to your bed and softly placed you there. You see the boys all gathered outside your room, maybe because they heard Changbin shout. When they all saw you crying, the hastily ran to you.
“Y/N! What happened?” Hyunjin first asked, looking at you in concern.
You didn’t answer and only stared down on your feet, avoiding the boys’ gazes. Then you felt strong arms wrap around you, one after the other until you realized all the boys are hugging you.
“Please don’t cry,” Jeongin told you.
“You can always come to us, y’know? Please let us help you,” Minho added.
“Could you tell us what caused you to cry?” Chan asked in a soft manner to avoid pressuring you.
You nodded and started to tell the story. Once you finished, your tears started to form again. Woojin came up and gave you a big bear hug.
“It’s going to be okay, princess, we’ll be here for you,” Woojin said as he stroked your hair.
“We’ll always be your happy pill!” Jisung smiled in a way that made you smile as well
It was comforting that you had 9 boys to rely on and you couldn’t ask for more.
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In your bedroom, all the boys stayed inside. Felix and Jeongin slept beside you, with you wrapped around in a blanket between them.
The rest of the boys all scattered, all sleeping peacefully as they drifted off to sleep watching over you.
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leftnipsdoodles · 5 years
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with Eris coming back i wanna give some attention to Asher bc im Like That
specifically, the fact that he might very well be the person Eris referred to as her cousin back when they were both alive. and i’ll get to sth abt that in a second, but first, here’s what the lore regarding this person says:
Undelivered, lost.
Cousin, do you remember the streets of the Last City? Do you remember eating fresh red grapes and playing tag between the market stalls? You cannot. We grew, we died, we were reborn. But I remember. It is the one thing I know is true. You used to LAUGH. What manipulation of the fates has led us each to our own calamities? [Forceful, looping script.] I listen to Vanguard channels every day for news of your death. If and when that news comes, I will fly to you at once, no matter where I am and no matter what front I fight on. [Aggressive pressure, carved deep enough into the paper to tear it.] I swear it.
- lore entry ‘Letters’, presumably letters Eris wrote and tried to deliver to several different people
3. I submit to you now photographic and video evidence recovered from civilian family albums, historical archives, and extant Ghost recordings originally captured in the Last City. Behold, ERI-223: a child of the Last City, born to civilian parents in a mortal-Guardian integrated neighborhood. Behold, too, tiny VIP #1786—though he is almost more unbelievable than ERI-223, if you look at his smile. 
- lore entry ‘Forgeries’, dissecting and fact-checking the Truth to Power lore (in this case, confirming what Eris said abt her backstory in Letters)
i highlighted the contextually important parts here.
We grew, we died, we were reborn. -> Asher confirms multiple times that he’s never been to the Reef and goes above and beyond to distance himself from Reef Awoken. while this might mean he just died on Earth and doesn’t remember being at the Reef, it’s equally as possible he’s simply Earthborn.
You used to LAUGH. What manipulation of the fates has led us each to our own calamities? / [...] though he is almost more unbelievable than ERI-223, if you look at his smile. -> I used to think Toland was a good contester for being the person she talks about, since he’s also suffered a pretty bad(ass) fate like Eris, so she could be referring to him. But, we do know he’s still as... jovial, as ever. Asher on the other hand is known to be a big ol’ grump. The only time he does anything close to smiling is when he’s being condescending lol
I listen to Vanguard channels every day for news of your death. -> Eris obviously knows what’s going on with Asher’s ‘disease’. The first time we hear about him is in the grimoire where she visits him at the hospital while he’s in a coma after the whole Brakion thing. Toland’s already dead more or less but more importantly, the Vanguard wouldn’t report on him since he’s not affiliated with them because, yknow. He’s a ball. Asher on the other hand (heh) is specifically said to work under the Vanguard and his death would definitely have to be relayed to them.
now, the only reason i’m not 100% on all this is because, as always, the timeline in Destiny is a mess. I’ve talked abt it before but unless we get confirmation that Ghosts are able to revive someone at an age they never were (bc they died early or whatever), i dont see it adding up. Asher looks old, bruh. and he’s Awoken. we do know that while they do age outside of the Distributary, they do it at a much slower rate than humans. so for him to look this old, he must’ve been around for centuries before dying (since humans’ lifespans in this universe are already tripled). but the way the Awoken lore is written, it doesn’t sound like they have been on Earth long enough to warrant him ever getting this old before dying and being rezzed as a Guardian. and by his own admission, he’s been a Guardian long enough to see 6 different Hunter Vanguards come and go, which, while Hunter Vanguards change more quickly than the others, would still give us a rather long timespan. i will point out that all this COULD still add up, just because the timeline in Destiny has always been incredibly vague. so even if it doesn’t seem to add up now, the author’s intent would overrule any inconsistencies.
the other thing i want to put up for debate is the familial aspect of it, since I feel like these two being related feels ‘unbelievable’ (not that it has to be, but lbr). bear with me for a second, im gonna throw a lot of speculation at you but i hope you can understand that im doing my best to keep it in line with what we know: Awoken seem to face some sort of discrimination on Earth. 2 NPC lines hint at this: 1) ‘Who cares if he’s an Awoken? We’re in love, mom!’ 2) ‘I can’t believe it. I don’t mind that he was Awoken, but an artist? I mean, come on!‘ this is today, in a time where Awoken have been on Earth for a while. it was probably worse when they first got here, even tho in the lore, it is mentioned that generally the arrival of the Awoken was seen as something positive (since they came in a time of need, specifically to help. so not only were they seen as actual aid, but they also brought hope that not everything from outer space is here to kill humans). however, i’d say that especially in a day-to-day context, they would still be mistrusted. especially once they started banging humans. we all know how ppl react to outsiders ‘stealing’ things from them.
now, since we’re told that Eris grew up in a ‘mortal-Guardian integrated neighborhood’, when we know that most civilians outside of the Tower tend to be wary or even fearful of Guardians, i think it’s safe to assume she was born into a more ‘progressive’ environment. meaning it wouldn’t be a stretch for her to grow up around Awoken.
we don’t know for sure whether Eris is Awoken or just a Human with a very pale complexion (her being transformed by the Hive doesn’t help). either way, what I’m getting at with all this is that ‘cousin’ doesn’t have to be a familial term. ‘cousin’ is used by the Reef Awoken to refer to Awoken Player Characters (who, even tho it’s later hinted that we’re from the Reef ourselves, are presumed to be Earthborn by said Reef Awoken). ‘brother’/’sister’ is used as well.  if we think Eris is Human, her calling an Awoken kid ‘cousin’ would fit in with her being from an integrating neighborhood. (EDIT: we even have the lore mentioning humans as ‘cousins’ of the Awoken: ‘Those who left went to scour the ruins for lost history and give some succor to their Human cousins [...]’ -lore entry ‘Revanche V’) if we think Eris is Awoken herself, her calling another Awoken ‘cousin’ wouldn’t feel unusual either. on the other hand, there’s the untapped potential in Awoken-Human hybrids that are mentioned by the lore but just *clenches fist* never fkn explored. so her looking so different from him could have a number of explanations and doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not related. but like i said, i think the majority of us can’t see it lmfao
ANYWAY what im saying is that whether ‘cousin’ is meant literally or figuratively, it wouldn’t disprove the possibility of Asher being the cousin Eris mentions as part of her past.
so uhh, these are all my thoughts on the matter. feel free to tell me your own if you disagree or feel like adding sth!
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lanamemories · 5 years
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hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!! 
p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing
「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.
some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.
ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior
grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot
okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life
they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty
her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once
despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly
growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as
she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r
anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself
this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not
she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh
personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another
plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days
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