#this is HUGE i wonder what the others look like
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The Star and her Sun | Alessia Russo x Reader
A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you to those who checked up on me. I'm doing alright now. Still studying for the LSAT which I am set to take on the 8th of June, so send good vibes. I have been working on this one for a bit. This combines three of the prompts that I had and honestly, I'm kinda attached to this one because it is friends to lovers and my ass loves that shit like. I am working on three others that should be coming out soon. Thank you all. (REMINDER: REQUESTS ARE CLOSED)
WC: 7k
Warnings: Family sickness, alcohol, foul language, gendered language (anything else let me know)
Chime~
The little bells rang throughout the quiet, little, London cafe as it cut through the sounds of a football match playing on a laptop by the counter.
Alessia saw someone in the behind hunch over what looked to be like a large book and notebook filled with all sorts of highlights and post its.
“Morning~, can I get something started for you?” A soft voice sounded from behind the fresh pastries as Alessia noticed that you gave a quick look to her and returned to whatever you were doing.
Alessia approached the counter and peered at you still sitting down with your hair held up and with a floral headband keeping away the stray hairs that still graced your cheeks.
You close the textbook, using the notebook like a bookmark to not lose your place, smoothing out the apron fully standing in front of Alessia.
She couldn’t help but follow the movement as you went past her eyeline. You were probably over 6’0 and you caught her moment of awe and laughed a little.
“I’m 6’3 if that is what you were wondering” you said as you further adjusted the apron around your waist.
Alessia blushed at being caught,
“Sorry, uh- I’m new around here and this was the first cafe I saw that was close to my place and open this early so I don’t have an idea of what I want really?” her normally confident tone faltered as she fully took in your features.
A smile crept on your face as you put your hands in the front pockets of the apron and begin to rock back and forth on your heels. You look at the kit bag on Alessia’s shoulder.
“Seems like you’re going to training…Arsenal right? Well, the rest of the girls usually pop on through in the afternoon after practice but I’d always recommend the Apple Crumble pastry and a small, sweet latte with oat milk for morning trainings”
Alessia only nodded at the question, “Yeah, that sounds perfect actually…you a fan?”
I nod as I bend down with a pair of tongs to place the pastry into a small bag.
“My mum is a huge gooner, and my pops is a big Man United fan.” You laugh a little before continuing and beginning the process of making the latte.
“I guess I am both as well…grew up in it really, so yeah you can say I’m a fan ” You place the top on the disposable cup and slide the coffee and pastry towards Alessia stopping her before she gets her wallet out.
“First one is on me, little star” you say and are met with a stunned silence from the younger girl.
She remained looking at you a sense of familiarity hits her as your soft but firm eyes returned the stare but she couldn’t place it for the life of her. It looked like you were waiting for a specific response from her.
“Thanks…uh I’ll see you around” she says as she quickly grabs the things on the counter and heads for the door.
You say quickly to her as Alessia grabs onto the handle of the door, “Oh tell the girls I said my hellos”
Alessia nods and runs out of the cafe and nearly trips over the sidewalk as she continues on to the training center.
You watch her and she wanders off, Alessia completely flustered by the encounter, shaking your head you mutter as a laugh leaves your mouth
“Still as clumsy as I remember”.
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Bearsted FC, Kent
Being the oldest kid at Bearsted FC meant a lot of the younger kids looked up to you both figuratively and physically. Being freshly ten and measuring at 5’4 was nothing to ignore. You were one of the few kids that did not need any convincing to be in goal.
You enjoyed it. The amount of afternoons practicing blocking shots with your parents gave you a sense of pride with each ball that flew away from goal or trapped within your gloves.
You had promise of becoming one of England’s best goalkeepers or so said the many adults at your games on the weekends.
Even little Alessia Russo, who would come bounding towards you at the end of each and every game. You both had been playing for both the boys and the girls on the weekend. Again, no one else would step as keeper so no one could really say no to you.
“That was amazing,(y/n)!!!” Alessia jumped towards you with her arms then extended to mimic a save you had done that game.
You shook your head and smoothed out your uniform as you looked down at you teammate.
“Me? Nah, you were amazing, I mean you have been really practicing your shooting. Got a brace today!” you say patting her shoulder.
“What’d ya mean? It would’ve been perfect if I didn’t slip on the grass” Alessia initially beaming up at you and then frowning as she showed off the grass stains on her shorts.
You shake your head, “I mean it Lessie, I mean you got the grown ups saying that you’re England’s next big striker and I agree with them” You continue to pick up your stuff from the side of the goal.
Alessia only remained silent before firmly saying, “Well only if you’re there, I don’t trust anyone else, you are such a good goal keeper!”
You roll your eyes at the younger girl yes, “you’ll get there with or without me Lessie, trust me” You look over and see your parents waving you over.
“Well I'm going to head home, see ya tomorrow eh little star?” Who only nods acknowledging the pats to her shoulder as you run over to your parents.
You were enjoying the last few weekends that you had in England. Your parents had already mentioned to you that your father had found a much better job in Florida that required a move to the States.
You were already 10 years old so your time at the league was ending anyways, the only worry you had was finding a new team to play for. Your parents reassured you that there were clubs in Miami that would take you and it’d be a nice change in scenery.
Your last weekend came up and it was going to be a surprise to everyone but unbeknownst to you, Alessia had fallen ill. Her parent’s not telling her that it was your last time playing there, the last time that you would play in England to save her from feeling worse apart from her illness.
You played well and ended your little “career” with another clean sheet but this time without Alessia Russo coming over to your goal to sing you your praises. She was your best friend and it left you dejected as you grabbed your things from the grass and headed over to your parents.
“Darling, don’t look down, your father gave the Russos our number so she will call you when she feels better and we are in the states” Your mother sensing the disappointment that clearly permeated from your demeanor.
That did make you feel a wee bit better that at least Alessia had some way to get in touch with you. What you didn’t know is that, unfortunately for you, Alessia’s father forgot the piece of paper in his jeans and the number was lost in the wash. He didn’t have the heart to tell Alessia of what happened.
Waiting by the home phone proved to be a rather frequent activity until your mother said “It’s ok we are going to visit sooner or later”.
However, soon became a couple years and not to your surprise Alessia and her family had moved.
She moved somewhere different, so you had to move on from your best friend you so deeply missed.
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Upon Alessia’s arrival to the training grounds, the other girls immediately clocked the familiar coffee cup design.
“Oh looks like you’ve already met our favorite barista, Russo” Katie wraps an arm around Alessia’s shoulders.
The blonde’s cheeks grew red at the mention of you. “Uh yeah, she mentioned y’all… said hello”
Katie’s eyes twinkled, “Oh how I love that girl…you got a good look at her didn’t you?”
Before Alessia could continue to show that she was a nervous mess; Leah intervened.
“Leave the poor girl alone, Katie. We all know of your little crush on (Y/N), get in line like the rest of us”.
The rest of the locker room erupted in laughter and in mutual agreement.
Alessia returned to her area and placing her things in her cubby still reeling from the whole interaction.
After a particularly exhausting practice, she turned down going with the other girls to the cafe you worked at. She lied saying that she still had some unpacking to finish and why should she go back if she’d already been there in the morning?
“Don’t need to buy anything, Lessi, just seeing (y/n) is worth the walk down” Katie laughed giving her a quick bump to the shoulder.
An awkward laugh from Alessia escaped her as she shooed away her teammates but not before promising that she would join them the next time….which was a lie because she would avoid the cafe as much as she could to avoid the nervousness that she felt. The way that your gaze affected her…how even in the early morning your eyes were bright, soft, and firm.
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After two weeks of, reluctantly, going to any cafe other than the one that you worked at Alessia finally found herself being dragged by Toone towards your cafe.
“Tooney, there are other places with pastries, do we really have to go to this one?” Alessia pleaded to her friend who looked at her confused and pulled Alessia even further.
“Nah, Phallon is there and she said that her old university friend working there will hook us up with some free pastries, you were excited about the free pastries part, what’s got you not wanting to go now huh?”
Alessia couldn’t think of a good reason, her demeanor did change from excitement to nerves at the realization they were headed towards your cafe…
“I don’t think their pastries are all that” she lied to which earned an eye roll from Ella.
“Don’t care…a free pastry is a free pastry.” Ella said, opening the door of the cafe to see an occupied Phallon leaning on the counter as she scrolled her phone looking for something.
She lifted her head, “Oh hey Tooney, hey Alessia, guess you got her with the free pastries huh?” she said with a smile.
Alessia let out a quiet sigh of relief as she saw someone that wasn’t you walk into the back carrying a box.
“Where’s your friend, Phallon?” Ella went to the counter towards her teammate.
Phallon continued scrolling through her phone and stopped seemingly finding what she was looking for.
“Oh she had to go get some boxes really quick but she’ll be back. I was going to show her the highlight I had seen of her from two weekends ago, just found it. She’ll kill me but…” She laughs turning the phone screen towards Ella and Alessia as the video began to play.
Toone did not see Alessia’s eyes widen at the realization that you were the one playing; that you were the one in goal.
Alessia recognized the team as one of the local club teams nearby, a part of the lower leagues. One of the main points of the video that played again slowly was a save that was thoroughly impressive. There was something in the way that you made the save that triggered a memory in Alessia.
Before Alessia could say anything in response to the video, your voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Been a while, Russo…TJ can you not show my highlights, it’s embarrassing” You say, with a laugh, passing closely to Alessia and hip checking Phallon as you place the two boxes of napkins on the counter.
Phallon only lets out a laugh, “hey it was a good save (y/n), if you weren’t on this med school route, you’d easily be recruited by a WSL club team…”
Ella immediately agrees and pushes more, “Phallon is right, if you were on another team, you’d be an absolute nightmare for us right, Lessie?”. You look back at Alessia, who at the mention of her name finally blinked.
“Uh yeah, that was a good save. I don’t think I would get anything past you” she says quietly under your firm gaze as she hears your name for the first time.
You only nod turning away from the group to put away the boxes, “Yeah maybe, well that was the dream but things sometimes don’t go that way you know but hey you can have multiple dreams…aka the med school route Phallon so happened to mention”
Alessia’s eyes followed you as you continued on answering Ella’s array of questions as you put away the supplies needed behind the counter.
Drying your hands you go to pack some pastries for the group,
“Yeah I was a walk on for our university team and I ended up playing for them for a while, even started more than half the games…decided to just come back home after I didn’t get drafted into the NWSL”.
The last part came out with some hesitation, you turn back with three small baggies filled with pastries.
Phallon takes them in her hands and says “See you at the game, yeah?”
You nod, “Course, just remember to send me the tickets this time TJ, now head on off, I know that you all have practice later”.
As the group was about to leave, Alessia stops when you firmly say, “Actually, before I forget…Alessia, you forgot something the last time you were here”
Alessia looked to Ella who, didn’t help at all, said “Oh, we have to head out, I’ll text ya later Less”, leaving Alessia to her own devices
As Alessia, hesitantly, reached the counter, you pulled up your chair and sat with your elbows on the counter and your head resting at your palms.
“Sooooo…you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me or do you want me to guess?” You say already with an answer in mind.
The younger girl messed with her hands and refused to meet your eyes “ ‘m not avoiding you…there’s just other cafes…”
You clicked your tongue, “sure…anything else because I don’t believe you, little star” the nickname caused for Alessia’s cheeks to turn red…
“Uhhh…well I don’t think Katie would like me hanging around her crush, ‘ppose you like her too…I mean why wouldn’t you…I mean not saying I don’t want to see you but not that I have a crush on you or anything…but you’re pretty but I don’t think…”her thoughts were interrupted by your stifled laughter.
You rubbed your eyes to wipe the tears the came from holding it in.
“Hold on…firstly, I like Katie but not in that way. Second, is that really why you’ve been avoiding me, Lessie?…I thought it was something else, this however, I’m not complaining about”
You said gesturing over to Alessia’s flustered demeanor.
The look of confusion on her face only added to your laughter, “Lessie, I know you’re not dumb…come on, who else in your life has ever called you, Little Star…I mean your folks started calling you star girl because of it and now the media does but who was the first to call you their little star?”
You smiled towards her as you took in her slow realization, her eyes widening as she began finally taking in your features. The way that your eyes looked at her was enough proof to her, you were her.
Alessia quickly pulls you into a hug from across the counter, “you asshole, you could’ve just told me. God, it’s been so long”. Her grip on you is so tight that you would think that you were about to fly away if she let go. You feel her bury her face in your hair as you lean into her more.
Another laugh leaves your mouth, “well I thought you would have figured it out but now I know why you avoided me”. She pulls away immediately and sees the smirk that now adorned your face.
“ Someone’s got a little crush on me” you tease as you get up from your chair only to be followed, in tandem, on the other side of the cafe counter by the striker.
“I never said that!” her voice not, convincingly, confident like the day she first saw you again after many years.
You ignore her and only respond with a hum as you adjust your apron and round the corner of the counter and walk briskly towards the younger girl.
“Is that so? Shame because I also had a crush on you but I guess we will never know, of what may have happened if you also had a crush on me” You continue your teasing as you begin to shoo her out of the cafe with a gentle push.
The striker pushes back against you and grabs your right hand as you grab the handle to “kick her out”.
“Hey wait, wait…I was just joking…come on, Sole” You don’t take your hand off the handle but you froze at your old nickname, Sole.
You hadn’t heard that name in decades at that point…her parents called you “her sole”...”her sun” because she was always pulled to you. The moment she got out of the car at practice she would run to you at goal, the moment the game would end she’d run to you, and eventually Alessia would copy her parents and call you ‘Sole’ in response to your calling of ‘little star’ to her.
You felt Alessia push back against you and you budged a bit. As you opened the door, you used the momentum in one of her efforts and turned her towards you as you lowered your face to hers.
“I’m joking, little star. Get to practice. I’ll see you this weekend, I’ll find you after the game, Phallon will get me…I’ve missed you by the way”. You say calmly, patted her shoulder and then,gently, pushed her out of the cafe and closed the door behind her.
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Match day against Manchester United came quickly to the Emirates and Alessia was nervous for multiple reasons. She was facing her old club for the first time and playing before her old friend that she definitely had a crush on.
You never gave her your number and she didn’t want to ask Ella to then have to ask Phallon because then Ella would start wondering why and she couldn’t hide her feelings for you from her best friend. If Tooney found out, oh she would never hear the end of it.
The team all rallied and began warm ups, the noises of the stadium gradually grew as people filed in.
Alessia’s eyes would scan the suites where player’s families and friends from either team would be situated…she didn’t see you.
She’d discreetly do it again during the as the team got into their positions…nothing. Unbeknownst to her, you had an eye on her the whole time; laughing at the way she “discreetly” scanned the family suites looking for you.
You never enjoyed the suites and always preferred watching from a fan’s point of view. You weren’t known so it wasn’t a worry that you’d be found out by fans. You settled into your seat your legs already used to the lack of space. You were surrounded by other fans with your mother’s old Arsenal jacket she got when she was your age with a little bit of a red jersey peeking underneath.
It was an Alessia Russo jersey from when she played for Manchester United. You got it the moment that you heard that she signed on. Your father being elated that your childhood friend was playing for his team,
“as she should!” you remember how proud he sounded when you shared the news
Lessie was loved by your family so you purchasing her jersey wasn’t seen as weird or off. You were as enamored with Alessia as she was of you in that moment. As a kid, you had always dreamed that one day you and Alessia would exchange jerseys after a game against each other, the thought caused for a short-lived frown to grace your face.
You took a photo of Phallon in goal from where you were seated and posted it to your story tagging her and adorning the photo with University of Miami stickers and a caption that said “That’s my best friend!”
You loved your university friend dearly but you hoped that your little star would get one past her. As the game began, you watched Alessia, silently, like you did all those years ago from your goal posts. Placing you feet on the seat in front of you and putting your elbows to your knees and watched in awe.
Your little star was not so little anymore but she played with the same energy and joy as she did when you were both younger. You couldn’t help but jump up in excitement when she scored. Except this time you couldn’t hit the posts with your gloves from the other side of the field like you traditionally did.
During halftime, you got a text from Phallon telling you to head down to tunnel before the end of the game. She had already let it be known to security that you would be coming by and to just flash the badge she had given you.
The game had ended with a 2-0 scoreline in favor of Arsenal, earning Alessia a brace against her former club. Phallon came in and upon seeing you, enveloped you in a tight hug. The hug itself started to push off the University of Miami baseball hat you had on from your head.
“Hey you did great out there, was like old times” you said with a laugh as you patted Phallon’s back.
Phallon was a tad upset but nodded at your words, “Could’ve been better but hey this ain’t the NWSL, so I’m happy to have played anyways”. You had stayed in the United States for a year after failing to get drafted and would often fly out to Seattle to watch Phallon at her home games. You wanted to support her for as long as you could; that still wouldn’t be enough to pay her back for all that she had done for you.
You hadn’t noticed that Alessia had walked into the tunnel with Toone and seen the slight look of jealousy she shot Phallon.
“That’s her best friend is all…goal keeper union and all that. Mary probably knows her too…” as if on queue Mary came by and enveloped you in a hug from behind which earned a laugh from you. Mary’s powerful stature now seemed small in comparison when you towered over her.
Alessia did not realize that Ella had pulled her towards you and the other girls until she heard you say,
“Oh hey you two, you both had an incredible game, especially you…Russo!” The smile that you had now directed at her, filled with knowing that you had such an affect of her as you noticed that Alessia’s cheeks became the same color as her jersey.
The other girls agreed amongst themselves. “How about a little get together later tonight? Just a couple drinks nothing too crazy, (Y/N), you are always invited” Mary ended the proposal with a pat on your shoulder.
You nod, “Oh Alessia, heard you’d need a ride home, I can take you, since I have to stop at the cafe really quick before I go home anyways”. The offer bringing Alessia out of the trance that she was in.
“Sure…if it isn’t any issue” she said softly that earned a quick assurance from you.
“Nah don’t worry about it…I’m parked where the players are, so I’ll just text you where I’m at” you say handing her your phone so that she can put in her number.
Once Alessia handed your phone back, you said your goodbyes and whispered a quick, “I’ll see you soon, little star” to her before heading down the hall. Alessia nodded and turned to see a smirking Toone.
“You can thank me by the way…I could've given you a ride but I am always looking out for my bestie so I made myself ~ unavailable ~ and I expect you to put on your cutest outfit, Less!” she sang the last part as she put her arm around Alessia’s shoulder.
“I-I don’t-what?”, the blonde quietly whispers to Toone.
Ella rolls her eyes, “Less, I know when you have a crush, you’re the worst at hiding it. Plus she’s a catch and I’m sure she likes you too, so just here to give ya a little push like the good friend I am” her eyelashes flutter towards the blonde.
The forward did not even try to fight her friend and instead went to the locker room with the rest of her team. After going through the various congrats and photos for Player of the Match, she finally unlocked her phone to a message from an unknown number, you.
“Hey little star, I'm parked in section A spot 29. I’ll be sat in my car so no rush do what ya gotta do 😊”
Alessia smiled down at the message, the nickname flustering her even in just text form.
“I’ll see you soon, just finishing up here 😊” her message was met with a small, heart like.
You were scrolling on your Instagram, as a random Spotify playlist played from your phone. Your head leaned on the window of your car as you continued completely unaware of your own surroundings. A gentle tap on the passenger window across from you made a big smile appear as you unlocked the car to a still-nervous Alessia.
“You could put your stuff in the back don’t worry, it's unlocked”. Once Alessia put her things away in the back seat she found herself in the passenger seat, struggling to put on her own seat belt.
“I’m not going even to ask if you need help,” you said with a small laugh as you leaned over, grabbed the seat belt, and quickly put it into the buckle.
As you lean back into your chair, you stopped closely to Alessia’s face,
“That buckle gets everyone, don’t be embarrassed…you don’t need to be nervous around me either but seems like I do that to everyone” you smile slyly as no response comes from her and start the car and you begin to pull out of the lot.
Alessia breaks her own silence,
“(y/n)...my dad lost your number in the wash…that’s why I never called you. I hope you don’t think that I left you, I really did miss you” You waved your hand towards her.
“I know that you never meant for that to happen…I didn’t expect to leave so young”
She only nodded and continued,
“Soooo, what did you end up doing and what’s this about med school?”
A sigh escapes you, “uh we moved to Miami because dad got a really good job there. Things were great, I was playing club in a nice area and yeah…that lasted two years…then dad loses that job within 2 years because of the recession…we had savings but we had to cut out a lot of things…football was one of them”.
You coughed as you recalled the rest, “The daughter of the coach was so happy I was gone which meant that she could be the starting goal keeper…other girls were funded by other parents who had better means…uh not me”.
You did not even want to look at Alessia knowing she had a frown on her face. You pinch your nose as you continue.
“When I went to high school, I tried out for the team and I was good according to the coach…but then they asked me if I played club…told them I did but then stopped because I couldn’t afford it. I was cut from the team the next day…money talks there, so I uhhhh didn’t play until I went to U of M”
“Phallon was actually my roommate…we joked that they intentionally put the two tallest girls together in the smallest dorm at the university. It was a total coincidence that they put me with her. First day I knew she was a soccer player, she didn’t find out I was a goalkeeper until she came to me worried because her alternate did her ACL and that they needed to try out new people in the next two weeks. I denied at first said I couldn’t afford it and explained why. Phallon talked to her family and next thing I knew…everything was paid for I just needed to try out…rest is history. You already know that I didn’t get drafted and well I came back. Been staying at my aunt’s place, rent free. She’s retired so she’s always away on travel”.
Alessia nodded, still noticing how you rushed to the end.
“How are your parents-?” she stops the moment she sees your hands tense at the wheel.
You shift in your seat, “Sorry, my parent’s are fine now, they are still in Florida actually…they are kind of stuck there…Mum got sick recently and dad followed suit…took them forever to convince me to move back, but they are ok it’s just we are in a weird spot. Everything is ok but not at the same time, don’t know if that makes sense”. You glance at her with a soft smile.
Alessia puts a hand to your shoulder, “hey sorry if that’s a sore spot and no it makes sense, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them obviously” She lets out a laugh.
“Dad was so happy when you signed to United you know? And now, mum has been over the moon since you joined Arsenal” the tone in your voice now lighter.
As you and Alessia talked it felt as if you had returned to the rhythm that you both had when you were kids. She would scrunch her nose when you teased her and you’d roll your eyes when she made a bad joke. You parked near the cafe after Alessia convinced you to leave her at the cafe and she’d walk the rest home.
You began walking towards the cafe to go pick up some textbooks you had left earlier that morning, beginning to take off your jacket out of habit as you got to the door. Alessia, who had stopped to see you off only saw the deep red of the Manchester jersey you wore, the white letters spelling out ‘Russo’ disappearing into the cafe.
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Alessia had practically inhaled the first drink that was handed to her by Toone due to the nerves that she had. Toone looked proud when Alessia arrived with her hair down, gold hoops and necklace with a black crop top and light washed jeans.
“You look absolutely stunning, if she doesn’t want to take you home immediately seeing you then something is wrong with her” Toone said that earned a slap on the shoulder from Alessia,
“Shut it, don’t need to be so loud about it”. They both decide to get another drink while they waited for you to enter the bar. There respective teammates floating around the bar, laughs and conversations were heard from every corner.
“(y/n)!!!! Leah told me you were coming!” Katie’s thick accent now even thicker due to drinks she had already had.
Alessia had already started to feel the buzz of the 2 drinks she had went through minutes ago so the exclamation from Katie felt louder than usual. She turned and saw you talking to Katie who already began to wrap her arm around your waist pulling you closer to her. You entertained her and just held her briefly and it now looked like Katie was a koala on tree.
Leah finally released you from Katie’s grasp only earning a laugh from you as you patted Katie’s shoulders to save her from the embarrassment what occurred. Alessia felt the tug at her heart when she saw your smile and heard your laugh. Even with all of the noise and movement, it seemed like you were moving slowly and clearly only for her to see.
Alessia only snapped out of it when she felt a jab into her ribs,
“You’re drooling, Lessie, I’d wipe your mouth because she’s headed this way, I’m going for another drink see ya”. The forward did not even have time to register what was said by Toone and even worse when you appeared in front of her.
“You ok? You’ll catch flies” You say semi-teasingly, semi-serious, lightly, tapping the underside of her chin as Alessia hadn’t closed her mouth since you had entered the bar. She finally was able to take you in and her silence to what you said only caused you to laugh.
Alessia saw you adjust the rolled up sleeves of your jacket and her eyes drifted to the exposed section of your stomach, then up at the subtle gold chain that you had on, you caught her gaze finally reached your face.
“So, I’m just going to get my one drink of the night, want to join me?…seems you need a refill” You take the empty glass from her hand as you started for the bar with Alessia following right behind you.
“Sorry, for being all quiet, I’m just tired you know” the blush on the striker’s cheeks told another story.
You nod as you order yourself two drinks and slide one over to Alessia.
“Sure, little star, and I’m the president of the United States” you tease as you felt a tiny push of the shoulder from her.
The conversation was like any other and the alcohol finally hit Alessia not at once, if you asked her, but when she was pulling you towards the dance floor with all the other Arsenal girls who were equally slightly, stumbling.
She looked up at you as she brought you closer by your waist and laid her head on a part of your shoulder almost using you to stabilize herself. Alessia took in how warm you were and the woody, almost pine scent from your clothes; she couldn’t help but close her eyes and quietly sigh contently.
She barely registered your hand gently rubbing her back as you both were “slow dancing” in the middle of the bar. Which just meant you were both swaying slowly side to side, well you were more stabilizing Alessia as you moved side to side.
Her eyes opened as she felt the rumble in your chest as you spoke, “Nah she’s ok,...yeah Katie she’s an old friend actually…more now and we’re just catching up on lost time…ok I’ll see you”.
You, gently, tap Alessia’s waist to get her attention and lower yourself to her ear, “You alright?”
Alessia hummed and only melted herself more into you as your chest rumbled again but from laughter.
“You want to head out? Don’t want you to fall asleep standing…well you might actually trip over yourself if I let you go.” Alessia doesn’t answer but nods into your chest.
You push her a little so that you can lead her out of the bar waving at the rest of the team to get home safe.
Alessia stops you, “Can you carry me home?” she says quietly as she tries to stabilize herself without your aid but fails only to grab you by the arm.
Without a word, you get in front of her and squat a little.
“Come on, just get on my back, I can take you to mine, it’s actually just a block and a half away”
Alessia, carefully, gets on your back and wrapping her arms around you neck as you hold her legs.
The lights of the streets are almost blurry as Alessia laid her head on your back.
“I really did miss you, Sole”, you hear Alessia slur out from behind you.
You stop a bit before going up to the door of you aunt’s home, “me too, little star”.
________________________________
You assist Alessia into some of your clean clothes, obviously fitting way too big on her, combed through her hair, removed her make up, brushed her teeth, and finally lead her to your bed.
“I’ll sleep on the couch downstairs -” you began to say before Alessia, even though she was completely out of it, pulled you down to the bed next to her.
“Don’t be stupid, come on, you didn’t think I saw you with my jersey earlier” she muttered as she made her place in your arms and began to sleep. You only smiled as your fingers went through her hair and then rested at her hip as she feel asleep… you silently wishing that this would be your everyday but when have you ever been this lucky?
________________________________
Over the several weeks, Alessia would come only in the mornings opting to be selfish with the time that she spent with you. She would lean on the counter and talk to you as you were sat in the chair reading over your text book like the day she met you, sometimes even having your parents on the phone to speak with her. She thought, at the beginning, that you weren’t listening to her but you would occasionally insert little quips or observations.
“Ok sorry to say but that video of you in Australia, that Mary shared, was actually really funny”. You said as you highlighted another part of your textbook before setting it down on the table.
Alessia rolled her eyes, “ok I swear it was going to charge at me, anyways, I’m off to practice…see you tomorrow?”.
You nod as you lean down and give her a quick kiss on the lips as she practically skipped out of the cafe.
You look underneath the counter at the opened letter that you had received a week ago. It said of your new schedule that your clinicals would now be mornings and you’d be assigned to a location to travel outside of the city in the afternoons.
“I’ll tell her tomorrow” was the phrase you would say over and over again. Your resolve in actually telling her would melt away the moment Alessia waltzed in every morning with her smile that made you buckle.
Tomorrow would be the last possible day to tell her so you had to tell her, of course, you could only blame your own unwillingness to break her heart. You weren’t breaking up with her just telling her
‘Hey, remember how we didn’t see each other for a really long time and we found each other and now things are great, well I have to go again but I will still remember you…hope you wait for me like I waited for you…’
The next morning came and you had settled into your seat behind the counter like you always did and waited for your Little Star to walk in with her smile that was so bright it’d make the moon jealous. You hid the sunflowers that you had got her under some newspaper, hoping, it’d lessen the blow of what you were about to say to her.
The minutes passed and the ding from your phone disturbed the comfortable silence.
“Hey Sole, I’m not feeling too well today, think I ate something bad last night so I’m not coming in and just going to go back to bed, don’t miss me too much” followed with “ Little Star has notifications silenced”
You sighed with a frown, as you began to speak into your phone:
“You’re going to hate me. I’m sorry-”
Alessia’s heart dropped as she began listening to the voicemessages in her bathroom after sleeping for another 3 hours.
“I’m going to be no longer working at the cafe because I’m going be fully dedicating myself to my studies. Clinicals at the hospital are picking up and I will be going out of town often to work…I won’t be able to see you nor really talk to you. You are important to me and I am stupid for not telling you sooner…makes it seem like this is more important than you but it isn’t… I just didn’t want to break your heart.
I love you, my little star, since the night at the bar. When you held onto me for dear life as we “danced”. When I brought you home when you were drunk off your ass and could barely stand. I still smell the traces of your scent on my bed sheets; my clothes; my pillowcase no matter how many times I have washed everything…the way you pulled me to bed to just hold you as you slept. I still remember the feel of you under my palms; every curve, every line as I passed my hands lightly on your hip as you quietly snored. I wished for that for so long with someone and I’m glad it was with my best friend.
I want to let you go because you deserve my full attention…I hope that you wait for me like I waited for you, but if not then I hope that I can still cheer you on from across the field as you continue making a name for yourself.
I love you my little star and always will.
Come by the cafe later, if you’re able, to pick up what I intended to give you…as a goodbye…sorry I won’t be here I’m actually leaving soon once my coworker clocks in…it’s the first day I need to be out of town…I love you”
Alessia finally arrived at the busy cafe; which was an odd sight for her. The cashier, immediately upon seeing Alessia, motioned her over, allowing her to cut in front of the line.
“Sorry folks, just got to make a quick delivery” the assumed university student apologized to the line before going back and quickly emerged with a small bouquet of sunflowers wrapped in newspaper with an envelope sitting amongst them.
Alessia took them with a sad smile and headed over to an open table in the corner. She pulled out the envelope seeing it was covered in stamps and re sealed several times.
Carefully opening it she sees a neatly folded napkin, in front of a thicker paper, the napkin itself had written.
“Mum sent me this right after I told her that we found each other again. This was the last time we were together…think you got a hat trick this game.”
The napkin was set aside as Alessia took out the thicker paper turning it over to see it was a photo of the two of you as children.
Alessia’s then dark hair held up in low pigtails with a big smile as you held her up in a hug also a big smile adorning your face.
Her sad smile was short lived as she looked at what you had written in the white part of the photo,
“The Star and her Sun”
It was then Alessia decided to wait for you because what is a Star without her Sun.
#woso x reader#engwnt x reader#woso fanfics#woso one shot#alessia russo x reader#arsenal wfc x reader
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𝖮𝖱 𝖭𝖠𝖧?
𝖢.𝖲 18+
You took another one again. Shot after shot after shot, you knew you weren’t stopping anytime soon. Once the shots started tasting like water, you knew you were fucked. You should’ve known going to the triplets’ 6 million party would kick your ass tomorrow.
“Kid, if you’re gonna drink that much, atleast make sure the drink is good. The fuck is this shit?” Chris states, as he hits a fat ass blunt in his right hand while holding the green BuzzBall in his other. You and Chris’ relationship was okay— to say the least. You grew up with the triplets, but you never got along with Chris. He always had a thing against you, and vice versa. It was your guys’ thing, to insult and hate each other, but you both never understood why. Without a doubt you loved his brothers, but you weren’t sure if you could say the same thing about the youngest one.
“Why’re you here? You’re cockblocking me.” You state, taking the blunt from his hand. Chris turns around to see Vinnie Hacker, a TikToker you so badly crushed on. Chris looked back at you, and rolled his eyes. He looks down at you as you inhale the smoke from the blunt. Chris would be lying if he said he didn’t find you attractive. The way the green LED lights made you look so good, and the tight red dress you were wearing definitely didn’t help.
“Cockblocking? Motherfucker— you’re the last girl a dude would wanna get with.” Chris exclaims, flipping his hat from forward to backwards.
You rolled your eyes as he took the blunt from your hands, and smoking it right away. You watched him as he hit ghosts, dapping up his YouTuber friends. You couldn’t deny that he looked good.. a little too good. You knew Chris was attractive, but his attitude to you always ruined it— or lowkey made it better.
“I’m gonna make more blunts— you tryna hotbox our guest room?” Chris says, holding the unlit end of the blunt to you so you can smoke it while it’s in his fingers. You looked up at him and inhaled the strong smoke while nodding your head. You lead the way and made your way upstairs. Chris didn’t know if you knew or not, but he had no shame staring up your dress, with your lower ass showing, he couldn’t stop himself. It took everything in him not to grab what was infront of him. His fantasy ended when you opened the door to the vacant room and started to walk in.
Chris locks it as you two sit on the big bed, right next to one another.
“The fuck you lockin’ it for?” You ask, taking off your heels that you’ve had on all night.
“Because I don’t want anyone else in here?” He says condescendingly. You look at him as he takes out the supplies he needs to make the blunts. You watch him as he pulls out his ElfBar, and starts hitting ghosts with that as well.
“I wonder if Vinnie is still downstairs” You say.
“Go talk to him if you want him so bad.” Chris mutters, taking out his lighter.
“Sorry, I’m unfortunately up here so.” You shrug, waiting for a response but silence. It’s complete silence as you look at Chris for a response.
“He’s so fine, I don’t know how he doesn’t have a girl yet.” You state as you watch Chris roll up the first blunt. He’s silent once again, which gives you a chance to talk.
“I heard he’s huge, I was tryna see for myself tonight.” You said, repositioning yourself and you accidently shook Chris, making him fuck up his rolling.
“The fuck’s your problem?” He says, becoming agitated randomly.
“Sorry, I didn’t know I’d-“
“Talkin’ to me about some guy’s dick like go fuck him if you want him so bad. I don’t need to be hearing-“
“Woah. Is that what this is about? Are you jealous?” You say, smiling while putting your tongue against your cheek.
“Never said that, just don’t get the hype.” He says, sticking his tongue out so it stays.
“I could say the same thing about you.” You say, standing up and walking from the bed to the door, then leaning on the door.
Chris doesn’t say anything— too focused [and jealous] to say anything back to you.
“Fine, I’ll go find out for myself if he’s huge.” You say, about to unlock the door.
“Walk out that door and I swear to God I’ll punch him in the face.” Chris says. You look back and he’s standing.
“Awe.” You state, walking towards him. “Someone is jealous. Are you mad that you’re not the YouTube It boy no more?”
He looks down at you, and starts walking towards you. You walk back and your back hits the door.
“No. I’m mad because I bet I can make you feel so much better than he can.”
You stare at him. Confused, yet turned on at his remark. You turn your confusion into a smirk, and say,
“How so?”
Chris grabs your throat gently, and you gasp. He cups your face with his hand, and whispers in your ear,
“I’ll fuck you like I hate you.”
“But you do hate me.” You say.
“Even better.”
——————————————————————————
This was jus a lil scrap I found in my drafts teehee. Anywayssss, I hope yall have been enjoying the small fics I’ve been putting out. I love you😇.
#Spotify#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo smut
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I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 1 I
Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.
But he doesn't stay a stranger.
Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Rating: Explicit / MDNI
Word count: 5k+
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added
AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist
notes: this work has been quite a while in the making and im very excited to finally share the first chapter! a huge thank you to the wonderful josie for being my beta reader and listening to all my rambling <3
this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.
Chapter 1 - The Before
‘‘I will be very sad to leave here’, Yves said, suddenly.
‘I have never been happier than I have been in this house.’
‘I have been very happy too. I wonder if we will ever be so happy again.’’
- Another Country, James Baldwin
You’d been on the run for what felt like weeks but could only have been days when you found the gas station next to an abandoned mall. It had looked promising, the half-rotten advertisements plastered to the walls, reminding your stomach that it had gone far too long without a proper meal, or any meal for that matter.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so starved or so tired, you would’ve heard them coming, the Infected that stormed through the back door practically the moment you slipped into the building. A yell escaped your throat, your hand instinctively reaching for the knife you kept buckled to your leg. You didn't even get the chance to pull it out of its makeshift holster before the creature was on top of you, pinning you to the floor with what felt like inhuman strength.
“Fucking- get off-” you grunted, but even if the thing on top of you had been one that listened to commands, your thin and shaky voice likely wouldn’t have impressed it.
So this was how you were gonna go out. In a town you couldn't even name, somewhere in the snowy mountains of Wyoming, after finally escaping the life you’d been stuck in for so long. You hadn't even made it a month.
For a second, you considered trying to reach for your gun, still tucked into your pants and pressing into your back uncomfortably. You could feel its outline against your skin, a pain shooting through your spine as the Infected seemed to double its effort to reach your neck with its mouth, half-rotten teeth close enough that you could recognize the foul smell of death.
Then, the gun went off. Or you thought it did. The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang in your ears as the Infected collapsed on top of you. But the feeling of your pistol pressing into your back was still there. It had been a gun. But not yours.
“I got her!” a voice above you bellowed out, an unmistakable southern drawl. “Tommy, give me some cover here, goddammit!”
You hadn't even noticed the second man, who was now aiming his gun at another runner storming towards him. He fired, once, twice, and the Infected let out a howl before its body hit the tiled floor with a thud.
“Hey, you with me?” The man above you leaned down, shoving the Infected that had been on top of you to the side unceremoniously. He was dressed in a worn jacket, jeans and boots, the latter two splattered with blood. His right hand, covered in a weathered leather glove, was stretched out towards you, an invitation to, well, you weren't exactly sure.
“She good?”
The second man approached the pair of you, your eyes flying over to him for a split moment. He was dressed similarly, except that he looked a little younger than his partner. He shouldered his rifle and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Your gaze flew back to the man in front of you, to the brown eyes that carried an unexpectedly gentle look, not quite matching the gruff way he looked. Shaking slightly, you placed your hand in his, and the next moment, he was pulling you to your feet.
“There you are.”
You nodded, a motion that looked more like your head was jerking on its own accord. But the man seemed to accept it. As the other one stepped towards you, the taller of the two men spoke again.
“You clean?” When no response came, he pressed on, his tone getting a little more impatient. “Did it bite you? Scratch you anywhere?”
The other one gently placed a hand on his chest, forcing your attention onto himself. “Can you walk? Our horses are two houses over, we've got a place where you can rest, get some food-”
“I'm not going anywhere with you,” you blurted out. You'd had your fair share of people, of men offering you ‘help’ and it never stopped there. There was payment, always. In this world, it was stupid to think there wouldn't be, that anyone would help you out of the kindness of their hearts.
“You're not going anywhere else by the looks of it, either,” the man with the gloves muttered, more than loud enough for you to hear. “You won't last a week.”
“I've lasted longer, asshole,” you shot back, suddenly angry at the stranger in front of you. He didn't know you, he didn't know the things you'd gone through to get here. So what if he had saved your life? It didn't give him the right to predict your death.
The other man nudged his ribs, extending his hand to you as well, though it was more of a formality this time.
“Name’s Tommy. The asshole is my brother Joel.”
He paused for a moment, clearly thinking about how to approach this the right way. “Look, I'm sure you've been traveling for quite some time. We can give you a place to recover. You can leave anytime, I promise.”
You eyed him carefully. It did sound too good to be true. But it also did sound- good. A roof over your head, warm food in your stomach- two things you'd been craving for quite some time.
“Okay.”
The man who had introduced himself as Tommy gave a short nod and led the way to the horses, following tracks in the snow the two men had left while coming to your rescue. Joel pulled up the rear and you had a feeling that his eyes were trained on you, watching carefully, maybe for a twitch or anything else out of the ordinary. Again, you weren't sure why, but it made you angry.
“I told you I wasn't bit,” you repeated in his direction as Tommy began untying the horses.
Joel raised a brow, clearly surprised by the attitude in your voice. “‘ts what they usually say.”
“Well, I'm not,” you replied, turning your back on him and focusing on his brother instead. Tommy pretended not to have heard either of you but somehow you were certain he had.
“C’mon, you can ride with me. It's not too far.”
Not too far turned out to be a good hour, the crisp autumn air making you shiver, and you were thankful for the warmth of both the horse and Tommy. But what the ride lacked in temperature it made up for in views, the sun coming out just as you passed the first sign that read ‘Jackson County’.
You didn't even mind Joel's occasional glances towards you as much, finding that with the sunlight playing in his brown curls, his look screamed less of danger and more of concern. Whether it was concern for Tommy or you or something entirely different, you weren't sure.
The answer came to you in the form of your housing arrangements. After getting over the first shock of riding up a busy mainstreet in what looked like an actual, functioning town, a thing you hadn't thought possible anymore, you had made use of what must have been the first functioning toilet you'd seen in months. You felt like a child being steered through the crowd at a busy carnival, if the food hall, the functioning plumbing and electricity and the music drifting from one of the smaller shops was any indication.
“You know we ain't got any unoccupied places and Maria and mine’s no good with the baby screaming all night,” Tommy muttered urgently and you frowned a little. The two men were standing a few feet away, clearly unaware that you were already back and you awkwardly shoved your hands in your pockets, considering going back inside for a moment. But then Joel opened his mouth and you couldn't help but listen in on their conversation. The older man seemed as much a mystery as the entire scene around you.
Tommy piped up before Joel even had a chance to argue. “It's just for a couple of nights. I’m sure Ellie and you will manage. You take her in, explain the basics and as soon as we got a place, you can go back to shutting yourself off from every goddamn person in this town-”
“I don’t-” Joel interrupted before shaking his head, a low grunt leaving his throat.
“Fine. Until Thursday, no longe-” He broke off at the look on Tommys face, one that was aimed directly at you. You shyly nodded in his direction and closed the distance between you in a few quick steps.
The younger man cleared his throat, giving you a reassuring smile. “Find everything okay?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you replied politely. You hated how forced the conversation felt, already regretting listening in on it at all.
“Joel here’s gonna get you settled for the night, you let him know if you need anything else. I'll stop by in the morning and introduce you to Maria, she’s-”
“The boss,” Joel finished for him, earning a small glare from Tommy.
“One of our elected leaders,” he corrected, another smile playing around his lips at the mention of what you assumed must be his wife. “Well, I'll leave ya two to it.”
Joel took you home. He still gave you that look, and with Tommy gone, you could be sure that it was actually aimed towards you. It was like he was still on guard but whether it was of you or something else, you couldn't tell.
“Here's how this is gonna go,” he started as he fumbled with the front door of the house clad in white. “You get a quick check-up, a shower, some fresh clothes- you get the idea.”
“I get the idea,” you repeated as he led you into the hallway, unable to keep yourself from glancing around for a moment, catching a peek of the dining room. “You live here by yourself?”
“Why?”
His question hit you out of nowhere and you stuttered for a moment, racking your brain for a good response, “Just- I was making conversation. Jesus.”
“Right,” Joel nodded, his gaze softening a bit. He placed his bag onto the floor and tapped his right thigh absent-mindedly. “Come on, follow me.”
He took you into the upstairs bathroom that smelled faintly of soap, reminding you that you hadn't had a proper wash in more days than you cared to count. There were a few small containers, mostly re-used mason jars, that were labeled ‘shampoo’ or ‘body wash’, sitting orderly on the small shelf next to the tub.
You felt more than heard Joel shift behind you and turned to meet his gaze. He was still watching, arms crossed, seemingly waiting for something.
“Do I- shower?” you asked softly and he sighed a little at that.
“I need to check you for bites.” His voice was low but still carried a small note of sternness in it.
Oh, right.
“I didn't agree to that.”
You could see his hand twitch, the handle of his revolver still sticking out the back of his jeans. “You're bit.”
It was more of a statement than anything else, like he already knew what was waiting for him under your clothes, maybe a bite on your leg, a scratch on your stomach. Joel had dealt with enough people that had been marked for death like that to know the signs of it. The thing was, he was wrong.
“Is this what it is?” you asked, quietly, trying to keep your voice from shaking.
“Excuse me?”
“Is that why you go outside, save people? So you can bring them back here, get them to take their clothes off for you-”
“Whoa-” Joel held up both hands, shaking his head very slowly. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I need to check you for bites, it’s protocol.” His voice was still deep, that southern drawl you heard earlier in the gas station still present but somehow softer. His features had shifted, seeming genuinely surprised by the turn of your conversation.
“Now, if you want someone else to do it, I can get a lady and let her look you over. We just want to be sure we don’t bring Infected in, that's all.”
“That's all?” you asked as he kept his eyes trained on you, his hands still up in the air and his expression soft.
“I swear, that's all. If you can show me you're not bit, I'll get you that shower, some food, you name it.”
You gave a small nod at that, your body deflating a little. It had been an incredibly long day and the man in front of you seemed genuine. If he wasn't, you could still try and bail.
Joel turned slightly under the pretense of grabbing a towel from below the sink but you knew he was attempting to give you a bit of privacy- even though he clearly didn’t trust you enough to fully turn his back on you. With shaky hands, you began to strip, holding back a wince as you forced your bruised body to move. The fabric of your shirt clung to your skin, dry blood forcing another whimper out of your throat.
You felt Joel's head snap towards you at that but ignored him, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of showing quite how uncomfortable you felt about going through this with him next to you.
He was quick and professional, his large hands brushing over your skin as he made sure you were clean.
“All good,” he commented shortly when he was satisfied, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he reached for a stack of folded towels. Then, his gaze rested on your head again, more specifically, on your matted hair.
“You want me to get someone to cut that for you? Might be easier than-”
“No,” you quickly piped up. You knew your body was malnourished and likely had a dozen other things wrong with it. You didn’t want to lose your hair too.
Joel nodded, his hand absent-mindedly trailing over a particularly nasty knot. “I think I got some soap conditioner in the closet. You want to give that a try?”
“Yeah, that’d be great,” you responded curtly and Joel disappeared from the room for a few moments. He came back, as promised, with a soap smelling of jasmine and cotton.
He didn’t seem as hesitant, now that he knew you weren’t bit. At least that’s what you assumed had caused the shift in him. It didn’t occur to you that it might be the fact that you were sitting on his bathroom tiles, shivering, assuming the worst in him, in men, hell, in society. That you looked like a wounded deer, ready to take off at the slightest notion of danger, no matter how badly you were already bleeding.
Joel was a lot more gentle than you would have expected a man of his build to be. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, reaching just far enough to cover your entire hair, but never letting any conditioner run down onto your face. It made you wonder if he was a father. Then you remembered his brother had mentioned a girl earlier, Ellie. Still, you knew better than to ask. You’d likely be gone in a few days anyway.
But, there was one question that you couldn’t keep from slipping out of your mouth.
“Why did you think I was bit?”
Joel paused for a moment, his fingers slowing down ever so slightly as he seemed to think about his words.
“You weren’t fighting hard enough. To stay alive, I mean. You were acting like someone who knows that their time is up.”
An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt his hand brush over the crown of your head, lathering the matted mess that was your hair with soap in small, circular motions.
“I thought it was,” you whispered, honestly. You couldn't bring yourself to lie to him. But you couldn't bring yourself to explain it either.
He didn’t ask.
Neither of you spoke again until you were curled up in his bed, him insisting to take the couch for the night. He’d fed you some soup, relieved when he saw that your stomach could handle that. He’d warned you that it might not, after getting so used to going days without food. You’d gotten some worn but warm clothes to wear after the shower and now your body was sinking into an actual mattress. It was more than you’d dreamed of just that morning.
Joel paused in the doorway, his hand tapping against his jeans, a habit you had already picked up on. It was like he didn’t know what to do with his hands when they weren’t holding a gun.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”
Your mouth went dry as you tried to keep your tone nonchalant. His expression told you that it wasn't exactly working.
“Who said I was leaving?”
“You look like you will.”
Again, a quiet fell over you and you shook your head softly. “What, you were a psychologist before or something?”
He smiled weakly. “Contractor.”
After a short pause, he went on. “I know it's hard to- to trust. When ya first get here. I felt the same.”
You felt a small breath leave your throat at that. “But it gets better?”
“There's hot water, three meals a day, fair working conditions. I don't think it gets much better out there,” he pointed out softly before giving you a small nod.
“I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Good night.”
27 months later
The almost-empty soap sits on your bathroom shelf, the one that’s screwed to the wall just above the worn-out bathtub. You’ve gotten it refilled every few months, sometimes sooner if you wanted to allow yourself a little treat. It still reminds you of your first day in Jackson, of the safety that you so quickly felt in every room of Joel's house.
You still have some time before you have to head to work and the blue sky promises a cold but clear day so you decided to go and check if you’re in luck with any available refills today. Stock always changes throughout the week and while there’s usually something available, you prefer to get your chosen products if possible.
No such luck.
“Sorry, we’re all out. Think patrols cleared out the store that had these a while ago,” the woman behind the counter says apologetically. “We have some others if you’d like to try a new one, there’s-”
“I’m good,” you quickly insist, giving her a small smile when you notice you may have sounded a little harsh. “I’ll just wait and see if some more comes in.”
In one quick motion, you turn around and head towards the door- only to run face-first into a broad chest draped in a thick, brown coat.
“Whoa.” The deep voice above you immediately sends a gentle warmth through your body and you take a small step back to be able to squint up at the man you bumped into.
“Sorry, Texas, didn't see you there.”
“I told you to stop calling me that,” Joel mutters weakly, fumbling with the small bag he is carrying before handing it over to the woman behind the counter. She thanks him and quickly begins to sort the items he has brought back from patrol. He’s wearing the thick coat you see on him whenever it drops below freezing, his dark boots leaving small pieces of wet mud on the floor of the small store. He’s been doing the creek trails then, most likely.
You’ve rarely been on patrol yourself, focusing your energy more on tasks inside the community. If it hadn’t been for Joel, you know you probably would have taken off in the first few days, maybe stolen some food and been on your way. But he’d gotten you to stay. With him, for a few days. Then they had found space for you in a small guesthouse close to the mainstreet, to be shared with a young woman not unlike yourself that had offered up her vacant bedroom.
You’d taken an instant liking to Lane. Joel had dropped you off at your new home, with the few things you owned, and you and her had both stood in the small kitchen in awkward silence, racking your brains for a good conversation starter. Of course, you’d come up with the one she probably heard every other day.
“I like your hair.”
It wasn’t a lie. Her hair was cut short but thick, and most importantly, it was blue. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen colored hair. It seemed to fit her though. The roots were brown and the overall color a little less vibrant than you’d seen in magazines of people before the outbreak. If anything, you liked this more.
“Thanks,” she said lamely, twisting her hand around the small cup she was holding. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m the worst at social shit,” she finally blurted out and it looked like she was half glad to admit it and half afraid of your reaction.
“Don’t worry. Me too,” you admitted, a grin spreading over both your faces, the silence seeming a lot more bearable now. She shrugged towards the counter, half a dozen muffins sitting on it. “You like blueberries? A friend let me nick these.”
She paused for a moment, brushing a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “I mean, technically they’re not real blueberries, the ground here is too dry for those. I think they’re called juneberries, but we never call them that.”
You figured she’d be a solid roommate if she’d just met you and was already sharing her sweets. Half an hour later, when you had vomited the blueberry muffins back up in your shared bathroom, Joel’s warning about solid food still ringing in your ears, when she was standing beside you, holding your hair back and handing you a washcloth when you were finished, you knew she’d be more than a roommate. She’d be your friend.
She had also been the one to get you into teaching. You’d been fascinated when she first told you about her job in town, teaching the children of Jackson practically every subject she could. Neither of you had been in school before the outbreak so it was all the more impressive, the way she managed to control a class without the need to get loud or hand out punishments.
You’d taken a liking to the classrooms of Jackson as well, reminiscing on the last summer before the world had gone to shit and the way you’d looked forward to being in school, learning all the things big girls did. Not getting to sit in a classroom, and you didn’t count those at FEDRA as actual classrooms, had been only one of so many things you felt you had missed out on.
So it felt even more special now when, after you got Maria to assign you as teacher alongside Lane, you spent your days in the colorfully decorated classrooms, teaching a variety of subjects and a variety of ages. It was similar to life in Jackson, not without its fair amount of challenges. But, just as Joel had promised the first night, you learned to trust and the more you did, the easier it was to let yourself be. Above all, to let yourself be happy.
Joel steps outside alongside you, his head jerking back towards the small supply store. “Did ya get everything?”
His voice is soft, and you like to imagine that he sounds a little more gentle when speaking to you compared to the others. Not that you see him talking to a lot of people either way. You're pretty sure it's why he prefers the patrols, less people to bother him and less voices to listen to. Even though you had a feeling, about a year after you arrived in Jackson, that he also preferred being paired up with Esther, a pretty woman who took care of the horses and frequented the patrols. Especially those with Joel.
You had almost hoped for them to end up together, to drive the images of Joel alone at his too large dining table out of your head. But they didn't and the images stayed. You had him over for dinner, every other month. It started as a thank-you for helping you through your first days and quickly developed into a rare but regular thing. Ellie or Lane joined you occasionally, happy to get a nice home-cooked dinner and some of the wine Joel usually brought along.
You didn't see too much of him outside of your little gatherings, only the normal occasions that presented themself around town. But it was nice to know that he was there, that he would bring his wine and compliment your cooking and make small-talk and listen to the new developments of your life.
“It makes sense for you to be a teacher,” he’d agreed after you’d updated him on your new position, causing you to raise a brow.
“What is that supposed to mean? Think I can’t handle myself out on the group patrols?”
His face slowly changed at that, Joel urgently shaking his head, “I didn't mean-”
You cut him off with a small laugh, no longer able to stay serious at how panicked he looked. “I’m messing with you, old man. I know what you meant. I think it makes sense too. I like it.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, grumbling a little under his breath.
It's Joel's voice that brings you back to the present. “I asked if you got everything?”
You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts, then it turns to shaking your head no. “They’re out of conditioner. But it’s fine, I can stretch mine a bit longer and maybe they’ll get some next week.”
“Ya still using the same one?” Joel asks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and you nod. It's sweet that he remembers. It's been over two years, after all.
“Yeah. Liked it, never saw a reason to switch,” you explain lamely. He only gives a short nod, motioning for you to follow as he starts walking.
You do, though perplexed. “School’s in the other direction.”
“Thought your class didn’t start until ten today,” he points out. It never appears to you to ask how or why he knows this. When your steps slow down and your thoughts speed up simultaneously, he nudges you along.
“You want your soap or not?” he grumbles and your face lights up a little at that.
“You got some?”
Joel gives another quick nod. “Brought them back a few weeks ago. I would’ve given them to you if I knew ya still used them.”
You trot beside him like a puppy, making your way down Rancher Street and up the flight of stairs that leads to the small house clad in white. The noise of the wind chimes tied to a beam above his front porch drifts over to you, the gentle breeze creating a slow melody.
You haven’t been in his upstairs bathroom for years. It’s odd and it feels too intimate, seeing the place where he brushes his teeth in the morning, where he washes himself after a long day. You don't belong in a space this personal. You don't belong to him.
It felt different when you were curled up on the same white tiles, letting him check your bruised and battered body for signs of Infection. For a split moment, it did feel like you belonged, in a way.
Joel's hand brushes over yours as he hands you the soap, the one smelling of jasmine and cotton and safety.
The rest of the day is a blur of lessons and grading, but the smell of the soap seems to linger, the comforting feeling in your stomach getting you through the work day. It doesn’t end until seven with you staying behind to tutor some kids for an upcoming exam and then to finish preparing said exam. The smell of food fills the air as you open your front door and you smile as you poke your head into the kitchen, “Smells good.”
Lane is seated at the table, a few papers in front of her. Likely an exam of her own, you think to yourself. Even after the world has ended, finals season still exists.
“My mum made that pasta you like so much today. Figured I'd save you some,” she says, nodding towards the tupperware sitting on the counter.
“You're an angel.” You whistle as you head deeper into the house, putting away your jacket and bag, fishing the soap out of the latter and placing it on the bathroom shelf. It makes you pause for a moment. You give a nod to yourself at the sight of the refilled container and make a silent vow to treat yourself to a nice bath today.
An hour later, your stomach is filled with warm pasta, the bathroom damp with steam and your hair soft, smelling just the way you like it. The clock in the small hallway reminds you that it's already past twelve and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day filled with teaching makes you want to crawl into bed fairly quickly. But you're thirsty.
Lane is still in the kitchen, her blue hair a little messy and crowned with a pair of headphones. The music spills out a bit, enough for you to be able to hear the low, steady humming of a song that seems mildly familiar.
You do remember a few songs from before the Outbreak- mainly the ones they played on the radio. But you know that Lane doesn’t, being a few years younger than you, meaning that she barely has any memories of the before.
You're already in your pajamas, shuffling to the sink to pour yourself a glass of water. Somehow it always tastes better at night. Or maybe your brain is playing tricks on you.
“Hey, you remember Joel is coming over for dinner on Sunday, right?” you ask with your back to your friend. When no response comes, you gulp down the last bit of water and turn around, giving a small wave in the air between you.
Lane sits up a little more, pushing one side of her headphones back just enough to free her ear. “Hm?”
“Dinner with Joel, Sunday,” you repeat, a yawn escaping you.
After a moment, she nods. “Right, I remember. We’re out of blueberries again, by the way.”
“I’ll make sure to restock this weekend then,” you agree, already halfway across the room. You give another small wave and finally head to bed. It looks exactly the same way you left it this morning, the blanket tucked into one side, the pillows arranged against the headboard.
“It's so good to be home,” you mutter to yourself as you crawl under the covers, stretching your body a little. Your left hand reaches for your nightstand and finds the book you've been reading, hoping to get just a tiny bit further tonight. With all the work and the winter festival coming up, you’ve barely made progress, the wooden bookmark still sitting near the front. You put it aside, glancing down at the finely carved piece of woodwork for a moment. Joel gave it to you for your first birthday in Jackson. Then you open the book properly, the worn-out spine cracking slightly. Just a couple of minutes.
But your eyes start to droop after just a few pages. After half a chapter, you're in a deep slumber, the book slipping out of your hands and onto the wooden floor below just as the front door slips shut.
if you enjoyed the chapter, please consider reblogging/sharing and commenting <3
#to dig a grave#joel miller / reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller / you#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller / original female character#joel miller / oc#joel miller#fanfic#fanfiction#the last of us#the last of us part 2#tommy miller#ellie williams#softpascalito#tlou#hurt/comfort#angst#smut#grief/mourning#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel / reader#joel x reader
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Okay here I come with thoughts that I'm not sure many people will be on board with, but I'm gonna share anyway because who cares! Wandee Goodday is doing a fantastic job selling characters who are ridiulous, and many of them are charming. I'm gonna talk about the guy who isn't. Charming that is.
I Think Ter Is In The Closet
And I'm only using bits from episode 4 to demonstrate this. Sorry if you need more to be convinced.
Ter is a strange character because we meet him through Wandee, when he's still up on a pedestal. That image almost immediately gets crumpled and tossed into oncoming traffic to be flattened in a rubbery, Bangkok traffic death. Dee confesses his feelings and Ter insists he's straight. He's straight. He's straight! He likes women, not men. Sorry. To make matters worse, he pulls the asshole move of just asking Dee to leave the scholarship to him.
These men have known each other for eight years. Eight fucking years and this is where things are going? If we know how much of a disaster Dee is, then it really makes me wonder what disaster side of himself Ter has (aside from what we know).
(thinking them gaaayyy thoughts) (also this weirdo doesn't listen to music while working out? no wonder he's the devil)
Ter is recalling the moment when Yak came into the hospital with flowers for Dee, called him tee-rak, and the two of them are looking at each other like. Like That.
Super normal for a hetero dude to focus on that part of his long-term colleague's life. And if he were a huge homophobe, I could understand it being a possible upset, but then he wouldn't be so close to Dee if that were the case. This is Golf Tanwarin we're being led by here.
Our Devil Doctor is pulled out of his train of thought by the appearance of a shirtless Plakao
Guys, I won't lie to you, I yelled NO aloud because for a second I thought he was going to have his come to Jesus with our favorite asexual king, and as an asexual who worships Plakao and how amazing he is, I just wasn't gonna have it!
And the first thing Ter notices? Kao is alone - specifically, he isn't accompanied as usual by his bestie Wandee. So Ter immediately interrupts his workout to question him. Kao responds that Dee's with his boyfriend now, which prompts more questioning about their relationship from Ter.
Yeah, Ter. What's it matter to you?
You turned Wandee away because you're straight. So, obviously that's a no, right? Right?
Not addressing that then. Okay. We'll just hit the skip button for that dialogue option, I guess.
As a tenured colleague and friend, that would be the natural reaction to this. Kao is a wise, wise man, and like many an asexual, he has done the work of figuring himself out while living in an allonormative world (while also recognizing he likes men! I cannot stress enough how beautifully nuanced his okay). From what he understands (and is stating for Ter to ponder), is that this would make sense for someone who doesn't harbor any other kinds of feelings toward Dee and until recently, has been on good terms with him.
But Ter doesn't get to ponder because he gets called away and immediately forced to face Dee happily walking hand in hand with Yak. It's awkward. Dee excuses himself and Yak. And then Ter's eyes foooolloooww.....
And later he gets back to his room with the number of the beast and fondly recalls when Dee used to leave snacks on his door....
(crowd goes awww)
But this guy can't help but notice while he's doing an evening workout -
Hey! There are Dee and Yak again! Being all cute in the pool! It's too coincidental! (He had not considered that his colleague works at the same place and has a similar schedule, therefore all this appropriately timed boyfriendism could only happen within that schedule)
So he has to conclude that it isn't real.
Little does Ter know that it was originally intended for YakDee to be fake boyfriends; that he'd stumbled upon the truth immediately. What he wasn't expecting was for Dee to double down not only to not be caught plotting like that, but because he's way further into his feelings for Yak than he is fully aware of.
I cannot stress how interesting it is so see this man be so obsessed over their relationship. Anyone who would call themselves a close friend or colleague would simply be happy for Dee, maybe warn him about some people who are less accepting if that were an issue, and then continue focusing on whatever it is he's doing for the scholarship. And maybe he does focus on the scholarship - we aren't shown his side of it because it's not important - but if that's true and his secondary focus is theorizing that Dee's relationship is fake? TER? WORSTIE?????
And then this happens!
Now I've seen a lot of people taking this as manipulation and I'm not going to call them wrong. It is exactly that. But I think he's also seeing if maybe he missed a chance? It wasn't that long ago that Dee was reminiscing about the past eight years together and Ter had decided the scholarship was more important than pursuing whatever thing they had between each other. Ter is realizing he doesn't want to throw either of them away, but still has his heart with the money. So he improvises a lame little plea, it's badly executed, and we get sad eyes watching Dee leave.
I would've expected him to curse under his breath, or have some sort of small scale tantrum after that interaction if he was fully planning to manipulate Dee like that. His melancholy here is what has me thinking that it wasn't well thought out, and there's a part of him who cares about his relationship with Dee and wishes it could carry on as it used to.
Ter continues to obsess. We know he'd immediately seen the story Dee posted, and it seems he's returning to it again (knowing social media habits, he's likely checked it several times in between).
CAUGHT.
Kwan, in contrast to Ter, is also Dee's colleague. She finds him and his boxer boyfriend just charming!
This line kills the entire conversation. There's very obvious tension about this subject.
To me this is where Ter has kinda said the quiet part out loud. He's more concerned about his own image. To whom? His family? His patients? Future opportunities? To himself? Not that there's nothing for Dee to be worried about (this is in Thailand where gay marriage is not legal yet, after all), but he has had a good reception of being publicly queer so far. Is that due to his queerness being more pronounced? Has Ter ridden for most of his life on being able to pass as straight because he was afraid of the consequences?
I'm gonna take a hard left for a moment, and then redirect.
There's a scene in the film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar where a sheriff (who has had an altercation with a drag queen and is looking for her for severely homophobic reasons) sits in a saloon and essentially narrates gay erotica aloud like he's trying to process the concept of homosexuality. He's disturbed about the idea. The people around him are also disturbed by his imaginings. It almost gives the sense that his thoughts come from desire, but he's been taught too much hate about that desire to recognize it.
And this is the moment where I just felt sorry for Ter. It seems like he maybe has some deep-seated denial, and it's being overturned by everything Dee is doing. It doesn't excuse him, but shit's gotta suck. And it's clear his disturbance with the idea of Dee having gotten over any feelings for him will be hard to reckon with on top of deciding how he feels about Dee himself. P'Golf does their antagonistic and confused gays well.
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#ter wandee goodday#wandee goddday meta#golf tanwarin#pod suphakorn#gmmtv series#gmmtv bl#thai series#thai bl
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The Woman He Didn't Choose Part 7 🥀
AU Bachelor!Miguel O'Hara x Fem Contestant!Reader
Synopsis: The host, Jason Donner, and James, the beach bartender open the dreaded truth box in Paradise. Word count 4.9k
Part 1 (previous chapters linked in the post)
A/N: Jersey shore inspiration once again! As well as a scene from the movie One Day with Anne Hathaway. Let me know what y'all think!🖤 TY AS ALWAYS FOR READING. 🫶🏽
CW: MINORS DNI, no smut, mentions of sex, DRAMA, ANGST, FIGHTING, MILD VIOLENCE, FIST FIGHTS, MISCOMMUNICATION, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BETRAYAL, MENTION OF CHEATING, GASLIGHTING, BULLYING, TRASH TALKING, fluff at the end
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
The fleeting adrenaline of the night has now taken the form of awkward tension and dead stares as the group sits around the bonfire. Jason Donner, the host, and James the beach bartender approach, holding Paradise's version of Pandora's box, anticipating the drama that will inevitably spring forth with quiet dread.
"Good evening, everyone." Jason greets. Muffled murmurs echo with little enthusiasm in response. He claps his hands together.
"Well, as you can see, James here, our wonderful MVB, or most valuable bartender, as I like to call him..."
He pauses for dramatic effect as the cringe joke lands.
"....has a little box of tricks for you this evening."
He takes the box in his hands, opening it as several scraps of paper nearly tumble out.
James assists him, helping him organize the slips of paper based on who they're written about, before he addresses the group.
"Alrighty, here we go, without further ado, time to drop some truth bombs."
George shifts uncomfortably in his seat, MJ is seated next to him with her arms crossed, blue eyes squinting at James as though she was trying to make out the words he's reading telepathically.
Miguel swallows and turns to look at you with a sort of half smile. You return it with your own, both your legs bouncing restlessly.
Felicia and Ben hold each other's hands in anticipation. Peter B. sits up, eyes glaring in George and Miguel's direction.
"First one: Ben is like a Golden Retriever. Blonde and always happy to be here."
The group laughs, caught a little off guard by the unexpected tameness of the first confession, with Ben nodding in agreement.
"I mean, they're not wrong...."
"Wait, there's more." James turns over the piece of paper. "P.S., I borrowed your razor to shave my ass the other day."
Ben turns white as Miguel and George wheeze with laughter. "Lovely..."
James unrolls another scrap of paper, this one's for you.
He calls your name and your heart does a death drop in your chest.
"Miguel truly cares about you. I know you're scared of getting hurt like you did when you were on his season, but give him a chance. I have known Miguel for a long time, and I can honestly say that he loves you and wants the best for you. I know he wouldn't take a huge risk like this unless he was committed 100%. Don't let this opportunity slip you by."
You feel a deep heat in your face as you look down. Miguel looks surprised at the confession as well. He glances discreetly over at you, moving one of his knees closer to yours.
Next confession.
"Felicia..."
Felicia raises her head, curious what this one could possibly be about.
"Felicia, honestly Ben deserves better than you. After being engaged to Flash and dating Harry, is it not obvious you're just a gold digger? I feel bad for Ben. He deserves someone authentic and who won't use him just for his looks or eventually leave him if someone more successful comes along."
Felicia looks like she could kill somebody with her bare hands. MJ tries to stifle a smile as she leans back in her seat. Ben looks worried at Felicia and a little hurt but doesn't let go of her hand, looking down at the sand and trying to make sense of what he was just told.
James' eyes glitter with a little bit of mischief as he reads the next two intended for just one person.
"Peter is a little bitch."
Peter raises his eyebrow unamused, eyes flickering over to Miguel and George, the latter who's doing his best to not let a snicker escape the smug grin he's wearing.
Time for the second truth bomb directed at Peter.
"Peter. Are you sure being on a dating show is what you need right now? The only connection you should be focused on is one with a therapist so you can get the help you need. You're not over MJ, you're mad that things didn't work out with y/n even though you were the one who fucked her over. What do you really want? Get your shit together- sincerely, everyone."
Jaws silently fall open with a mixture of shock and also silent admiration for anonymous to say what everyone is thinking.
"Well dayum..." You mutter under your breath, a little relieved someone is finally calling him out.
Peter turns bright red, a vein nearly popping out of the side of his forehead as he points at Miguel.
"So now you think you're funny, don't you?"
Miguel raises an eyebrow, "You assume I wrote that?"
"Yeah, because you're the one who can't seem to keep my name out of your mouth." Peter snaps.
Miguel scoffs. "Wouldn't need to keep it in my mouth if you could just keep it in your pants..." He mutters.
"Miggy, please..." You tug on his arm, your eyes pleading which makes Miguel soften a bit, apologetic he upset you. As satisfying as it would be to let Miguel lay Peter's ass out for everyone to see, you don't like the idea of him getting in a fight.
James blows air out of his mouth in preparation for the next two, knowing they will be about as effective as pouring gasoline on an already blossoming fire.
"Miguel needs to go home. All he cares about is getting pussy. He's a washed up bachelor who's only here because it didn't work out the first time. He is not ready to settle down."
"George..."
Oh God this might be it.
"When are you gonna be honest with MJ and admit you were texting your daughter's mother just days before you came on the show? You're a liar and you know it. MJ deserves better than you."
Even a pin dropped could be heard in the sand with the uncomfortable silence that washes over the beach. You and Felicia look at each other with shocked expressions, looking frantically around the fire for signs of who else could possibly be on to George.
MJ scoffs quietly, shaking her head and running her tongue over her teeth in annoyance. George's hands clench into fists on his legs, taking a deep breath, seemingly doing his best to keep his rage under wraps, for now. He glances at MJ but she keeps her vision straight ahead, hissing at him when he tries to reach towards her.
"Oh, that's nice." Miguel shakes his head, shrugging off the insult that was directed at him.
James tilts his head. "Doesn't that bother you?"
"No, because it's not true." Miguel retorts simply, crossing his arms.
"Bullshit." Peter chuckles darkly, murmuring under his breath, although it's clear he meant for it to be heard loud and clear.
"Oh and how would you know, Peter, enlighten me? Coming from the man who can't make up his mind, right?" Miguel sits up a little taller, moving his head to make eye contact with Peter.
"Mig...please..." You murmur, heartbeat starting to pick up, placing your hand on his thigh.
"You immediately fall back on Plan B when Plan A didn't work out. You just figure, "I'll go shoot my shot, doesn't matter she's already seeing someone else and trying to move on, what the hell." Peter makes air quotes with his fingers in a mocking manner. "Yeah, I was just engaged to someone else literally 48 hours ago, but let me run away to Paradise to solve all my problems."
"First off, you're the one who fumbled her the minute you decided to go down on Dana. And second of all, she did that on her own free will. You can't stand that she chose me. Well guess what, not my fault I'm here to fix what you broke." Miguel smirks a little at the last statement, happy to rub it in his face.
George cuts in, "Alright let me say something. Can I say something? Miguel!"
"What, George?" Miguel sighs, Peter starting to cut in loudly immediately after.
"Let me talk. I'm speaking!" George starts to raise his voice.
"George, shut the fuck up!" Peter fires back, standing up.
"No you shut the fuck up! Fuck this anonymous bullshit, I'll tell it to your face!" George takes three steps forward, only to be stopped by Miguel.
"Oh what, what, tell me what George?!" Peter nods his head, trying to put on a tough exterior.
"You're a punk and a bum!"
"Oh woww, really?" Peter's face turns redder by the minute. At this point, Ben stands in front of Peter, trying to talk him down to no avail while George continues poking the bear.
"You're a bitch!"
"Oh yeah? What else, what else, tough guy huh?!" Peter shouts, clashing with Ben who's fighting to hold him back.
George taunts, "You were born a bitch you'll die a bitch, ya mother's a bitch...
"Don't fucking bring up my mother!!" Peter launches forward like a rocket, Ben losing the battle as George rattles on, jutting his pointer finger out to punctuate each of his sentences as he relishes in the rise he's getting out of Peter.
"....ya father's a bitch, everything about this guy, this guy right here! Yeah, he's a little bitch!"
"FUCK THIS GUY!!!!" Peter snarls, doing his best to overpower Ben who's using his whole bodyweight to restrain him, while security sluggishly clamors to the scene when it's clear that Peter won't let up. Miguel tries to come to Ben's rescue once again.
"Don't you FUCKING touch me!"Peter growls at Miguel.
Miguel glares but backs off for now, Ben murmuring he's okay, patting Miguel's chest as they slowly go back to their seats, letting security plant Peter back in his spot.
Jason clears his throat, straightening his suit jacket nervously. "Alright, alright....let's keep this clean, gents...."
He nods towards James to keep it going.
"Ben." James calls out.
Ben exhales as he sits down in his seat, bracing himself for the potential brutality of this one.
"Ben, after everything we've been through, I would've thought you would have had my back better than that. Honestly, I'm disappointed in how someone I considered a friend for so many years, would jump ship so quickly to defend someone else. You abandoned me when I needed you."
"Alright..." Ben interrupts, standing up, already knowing who the author is this time as he looks directly at Peter B.
"I am a good friend, Peter. I don't care what you say, I think most of the guys here can back me up when I say: I am a good friend. "
He pauses.
"But I will not be a yes man. I won't just sit there and tell you everything you wanna hear just because you're my boy..."
Peter looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna back you up when you're the one in the wrong this time." Ben concludes.
"Great...great. Noted." Peter B. mutters, chuckling non-humorously.
"Oh, and whoever said that about Felicia being a gold digger, mind your business. I don't give a fuck." Ben adds as he sits down in a huff.
The tension between everyone is dialed up to uncomfortable levels, but the confessions continue. James clicks his tongue nervously. "Okay...let's go on, shall we...." He unrolls the next slip of paper between his fingers and reads it aloud.
"Miguel. Stop being a pussy and tell y/n how you feel. You've done a lot to redeem yourself, but you can't stop there. Take her on a date. Make her feel special. After everything you put her through, you owe it to her to be really honest with your feelings. How are you going to deal with the long distance and your mother disliking her outside of this? Are you sure you're not here just because things didn't work out with Xina? Are you ready to actually propose and give her the ring she deserves? These are the hard questions you should be asking yourself."
Your lips part a little bit, a mixture of anxiety, gratitude, and nervousness at this truth bomb. These were things you've been meaning to discuss with Miguel eventually, you just weren't sure when the right time would be, still teetering on the ledge, not sure when it felt right to jump back into something with him.
But you couldn't lie that you felt yourself getting closer and closer to making the leap. Your mind floods with a million thoughts as you decide to focus your attention on the crackling bonfire in front of you instead.
Miguel clenches his jaw and nods solemnly, keeping his body turned towards yours as the same barrage of thoughts invade his mind.
The John or Jane Doe was right. If tonight's truth telling session doesn't end in a complete shit storm, another shit storm with an impending rose ceremony certainly would increase the stakes. He's got to act soon if he doesn't want to lose you yet again.
"Amen!" Felicia says a little loudly, nodding in agreement and clapping her hands together.
Jason and James smile, saving the best for last.
"MJ..."
Ah, the big finale.
"Today at the beach, when you left upset, George put his hand on the surf instructor's ass. He was flirting with her and she was touching his arm and chest while they were talking. When you left crying at the club, George made out with two girls. He was also dancing and grinding with multiple mystery women. He also held a girl's hand and took down her number. Multiple people on this beach know. Therefore, you should know the truth."
MJ bolts up, snatching the piece of paper from James' hands before he can stop her, reading it over and over with her blue eyes a frenzy with shaky hands.
"......who the fuck wrote this?" Her eyes are now venom, boring into every single person sitting around the fire. You and Felicia are shaking, scared to speak up.
"Now..." James tries to take the slip of paper from MJ. "that's not how this works. All confessions are supposed to be confidential."
"I don't give a fuck, WHO WROTE THIS?" MJ cuts him off sharply and dodging him. She decides to take things into her own hands when nobody speaks up.
"What Felicia, you're mad I told the truth about you and Ben so this is your way of getting back at me?"
"What??" Felicia's eyebrows furrow in anger and confusion.
"This is your way of getting back at me?!" She repeats taking a few steps closer to where you're sitting.
"Are you fucking kidding me MJ?" Felicia stands up. "How the fuck was I supposed to know you'd write some bullshit about me and Ben? Why are you even bringing me and Ben up anyways? Who fucking asked you??"
She smirks when MJ gets dangerously close,
"Oh, what, now you got balls all of a sudden? Step up, then."
"Don't yell at me, honey, don't." MJ warns through clenched teeth.
"For someone who seriously begged, BEGGED to my best friend..." She gestures to you.
"....if you know something tell me, if you know something tell me. Telling people, 'let me know if George is flirting with other girls'....." Felicia tries to continue.
"And funny how those people become pussies all of a sudden!" MJ spews back. "I don't like you-"
"Really, you don't like me, all because I came to you as a woman and told you about your men??" Felicia gets in MJ's face, gesturing to George and Peter B.
"And you can't tell me to my face! So who wrote the note, you two?" She points at you and Felicia, keeping her finger dangerously close to Felicia's face.
"I'll tell it to your face, matter of fact I'll hit you in your fucking face right now!" Felicia yells.
"I'll hit you in your face too!" MJ sasses back. Without another word Felicia smacks MJ in the face, dragging her down by her hair in the sand, MJ grunting, arms flailing trying to scratch at Felicia's arms.
George rushes forward trying to get in the middle as they screech and struggle. You come running to Felicia's side as MJ gets up, becoming temporarily blinded when she kicks up some sand that flies past Felicia and almost hits you in the eyes. She gets in one good shot to Felicia's face, Felicia being accidentally sandwiched between you and George when you fall forwards into her.
George holds Felicia in place while MJ pathetically tries to keep swinging at Felicia over George's shoulder, none of them landing as Felicia squirms ferociously in his grasp.
"Let her go! Let her go!!!"
You try to lunge at MJ but she's being almost completely shielded by George. You try to encourage George to release Felicia instead by clawing at his face and pounding your fist into his arm, your comparatively smaller frame no match for his, but your frantic movements are distracting enough that he loosens his grip and the entire group falls to the ground in a clobbered mess while security tries to intervene.
"Stop!! Stop!!"
Ben and Miguel are now added to the fray, trying to retrieve you and Felicia who are in a tangled mess on top of each other while George fishes for MJ.
"Alright, alright SHUT THE FUCK UP, that's it!" George yells at you and Felicia.
"MJ, we were just trying to watch out for you!" You yell out of breath, your clothes askew and one of your tits in serious danger of falling out of your bikini cups. You lean to the side, trying to throw your words at George and MJ past Miguel and Ben who are both trying to block you now, creating a shield.
"Oh really, this is watching out for me? How pathetic. Can't even be honest with me to my face. You both can kiss my ass." MJ finally breaks free, rolling her eyes and scoffing, small scratch marks on her face from Felicia's nails that have begun to bleed.
"I said: shut the FUCK up, it's done, nobody gives a fuck!" George booms over the commotion. "Y/N, your relationships are all fucked up, and Felicia's jealous, so now you and your little sidekick got nothing better to do but try and bring us down!"
"What the hell?! I don't give a fuck, George! You wanna sit there and put me on blast go ahead!!!" You enunciate each word with loud claps of your hands, darting forward like a madwoman, shoving George with all your might as the veins bulge in his neck as he tries to keep a lid on his temper.
"We didn't do anything wrong!! I was just trying to watch out for MJ because MJ doesn't have a single friend on this beach!" You yell.
"Yeah and I thought you were mine." MJ waves you off sarcastically, trying to fix her knotted hair.
"And you, you started this bro!" George shifts his attention to Peter B. "You fucking started it, little bitch boy!" He furiously strides towards Peter B. who's already up and ready, Ben jumps up, throwing himself in the middle yet again, stumbling backwards and being practically steamrolled by George's bulking frame.
"Whoa whoa whoa!!! FELLAS!"
Miguel yells, "Hey!" sprinting to Ben's aid once again. Ben is bulldozed to the ground with a yelp as George and Peter B. start coming to blows.
Peter hisses as George hurls his fists, ducking and trying to go for his torso, yet George slides through his hands like a bar of soap.
Peter tries to gain the upper hand, struggling with their hands on each other shoulders, locked in a stalemate as George's face turns bright red, Peter wincing under George's formidable strength as he struggles to hold his own, both his build and his height overpowered by him.
Two enormous security guards weave their way in, one of them curling their bicep around George's neck to pry him away. He begins yelling like a madman, hitting his chest in frustration like a gorilla, high off testosterone and adrenaline, and an additional two guards to push him backwards.
"Let me at him! LET ME AT THE SON OF A BITCH!"
Meanwhile, Miguel and Ben rush to hold back Peter who's already trying to charge at George for another round.
As soon as Peter notices Miguel approaching, his anger is reignited all over again, "YOU!!"
He puts his head down and charges at Miguel.
Miguel grunts as he catches Peter around the torso, being knocked backwards from the force, both men struggle as Peter pushes him further and further down the beach towards the water, yelling when Peter lands two punches in the middle of Miguel's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.
"Peter STOP!" You scream, face widened in horror at the sight of Miguel being attacked.
Miguel wheezes in pain but is doing a good job of holding him off, however, you can tell Miguel's definitely holding back as he struggles with Peter in the water, since he could absolutely destroy him if he wanted to.
Ben tries to run towards the struggling pair but slips in the wet sand, falling down on his face.
Finally, when Peter shows that he's not giving up, Miguel locks in, furrowing his brow with a guttural yell, teeth clenched, face burning red as he practically launches Peter 10 feet in the air, with Peter making an enormous splash in the water, spluttering incoherently as the salty water burns his eyes, his whole outfit soaked and wet sand in every crevice.
"Stay the fuck away from me." Miguel seethes, breathing deeply as he slowly backs away from a bewildered Peter.
The security team trots down the beach, helping Peter get out of the water. Peter rips his arm away from one of the guards in fuming embarrassment and anger as he snarls at them that he can walk himself.
"And don't forget: she chose me!!" Miguel calls after him, panting, unable to resist sticking it to him one more time.
You run up to Miguel, out of breath, not minding his wet polo or shorts as you sweep him into a hug, tears running down your face out of concern. Miguel sighs and holds you close.
"I'm okay..."
"Thank God..." You whisper, closing your eyes and leaning into his chest.
Security is shepherding George and MJ into separate locations, MJ giving his hand a squeeze before they take him away, seemingly sticking by his side in utter clownery even after all the allegations.
You and Miguel find Felicia and Ben sitting by the fire, sitting down next to her and giving her a hug while Jason and James talk with the producers, shaking their heads with exasperated voices.
Jason finally storms off to the side to go have a cigarette after realizing this group can't go more than 24 hours without a world war explosion.
"You okay?" You ask Felicia, looking over her. Even though MJ got in one good punch, she didn't leave a mark, compared to MJ's scratched up face and bird's nest hair.
"What do you need, water, food, ice?" You wave your hand at a producer passing by, stealing a cold water bottle and a bag of mini Oreos, holding the cold bottle against her head.
"I'm fine." Felicia sighs. "I feel so bad right now..."
"Why??" You ask her, opening the bag of cookies and popping one in her mouth, nursing her back to health.
"We were just trying to look out for the girl. She's not being a good friend right now and if anything she should be the one who feels bad. She finds out we wrote the note and she's more mad at us than her cheating ass man? That makes no fucking sense to me. If they're gonna stay together after this, they're the clowns. Not us."
Felicia sighs and nods, eating her cookies thoughtfully as she leans on your shoulder.
"What happens now?" Ben asks quietly, looking at the scene that's starting to slowly simmer down with the aftermath.
"Well, Jason's gone. James is nowhere to be found." Miguel stands up. "I think we should call it."
"Where are you going?" You look up, reaching out to Miguel. "I don't want you going back over there alone..." You look in Peter's direction.
Miguel's eyes soften at you. "Come with me?"
You turn to Felicia and Ben. "I've got her." Ben reassures, wrapping a blanket around her. "You guys go on. Have a good night."
"G'night bestie."
"Love you!"
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
You and Miguel walk in silence, your arm wrapped around his waist and your head leaned against him, one of his arms draped around your shoulders, holding you close.
Miguel smiles shyly, "So, uh,....you were really worried about me back there, weren't you?"
"Course I was." You answer, shuddering a little at the memory of the fight and the look on Peter's face.
"The last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt."
Miguel hums and gives your shoulder a squeeze and a rub. "I appreciate that."
"Of course."
He pauses, letting the quiet sounds of the nighttime crickets and croaks from the tropics' wildlife drown the silence for several moments. "And about whoever wrote that confession towards me, you know, the one about how I need to step up and be better towards you...."
You both stop walking, turning to look at each other. Miguel takes his hands in yours. "They're right, whoever they are."
You give him a hopeful smile, letting him continue.
"I am gonna be better...at telling you how I feel and making sure I'm there for you. I know next week is Fairytale Suites, and I don't want another rerun of what happened last time." He holds both of your hands in his and takes a deep breath, before he speaks honestly.
"You are my endgame. That's all I want at the end of this is you, and me, walking away from this together."
You break out into a full on smile now, the corners of your eyes softening in adoration at this confession.
"I know an engagement sounds crazy in just a week, but even if we don't get to that point, I'm okay with it. I just want this with us, you and me....so badly. If I have to wait, then I'm willing to do that."
He looks seriously at you, leaning down a little bit so his eyes can stay locked on yours. "And I don't care about long distance, what my mom is gonna say, and all that, we can sort through that later.... I'm willing to fight for this. What are you thinking? Please tell me...?"
"Miguel...." You look down, running your thumbs over the back of his hands pensively. "I mean...an engagement is kind of a big step..." You ponder for a moment. "There's so much we need to talk about before we can even consider taking that step if I'm being honest."
"I know..." Miguel whispers.
"Well..." You think deeply, before proposing an idea.
"Maybe we can start with a rose, for now? Tackle all the hard questions when we have the fairytale suites and all day and night to talk about it?" You grin up at him.
Miguel chuckles, bringing one of his hands to your cheek. You follow his touch, holding his arm as you look into each other's eyes.
"You want to claim my rose early?"
You nod, smiling, "Course I do...unless you think someone else has a chance," you tease, lightly poking him in the belly. "We'll start there and see what happens?"
"Not at all. I'm looking right at her." Miguel smiles. "We sure will..."
He brings you in for a hug, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you...you don't know how happy I am right now about all of this."
He looks around until his eyes land on a small hibiscus blossom.
"I know it's not a rose..."
You giggle, bringing your hands to your mouth as he gets down on one knee, with a dazzling smile, offering it to you as he whispers your name.
"Will you accept this...flower? And be mine from this night going forward?"
You nod, beaming as you take his hands as he stands up, gingerly placing the blossom behind your left ear.
You sigh and plant your chin against his chest, "But I swear to God, Miguel...you lead me on..."
Miguel laughs breathlessly, cupping your face, "Baby I swear..."
"You mess with me, cheat on me, go behind my back or let me down for the millionth time I will murder you. I swear to God I'll murder you and go to prison for the rest of my life, you break my heart again."
"I won't baby..."
He doesn't say anything else, just brings his lips against yours in a loving kiss, for the first time in months. You sigh and wrap your arms around his neck, re-acquainting yourself with his warmth, with his mouth, his face, the feeling of being so close to this man you once loved, letting the buried affection you harbored underneath the surface come back to life as you hold each other underneath the glowing moon of paradise with the tropic winds weaving all around you. The future uncertain but one thing you both knew for sure as of tonight,
"It's you and me..."
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Jason Donner speaks in a voiceover: "Stay tuned for another drama-packed episode of Singles in Paradise!"
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Tags 🖤🫶🏽:
@miguelhugger2099 @kodo1221 @mimiemie @laysmt @cheerrioeoz @spicydonut25 @thisistotesnotspam-heart @famouscattale @thekidscallmebosss @librababe99 @cl3stevu @irishbl0ss0mz @nommingonfood @mauvecherie-writes @royale-skeleton-key @thesilenthill @dimitri-needs-therapy @a-lil-whore @aisyakirmann @sylveon-of-heart @hobiebrowns-wife @weirdothatwritess @reader-1290 @thesmutconnoisseur @koyukilove
@hardlystrictlystarwars @lareinamorgan @serpentineaerodynamics
@envyjmoney @clementines-valt @the-pan-liquid
@stellasloth @migueloharasoulmate @cynwing
@ddreabea @what-the-jams @loaves4me @p1nkliquor @mcmiracles @tojishugetiddies @1-800-choke-that-ho @daddyfroglegs @1-900-venusluvs @thatone-writer @yumpho
#Spotify#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#atsv miguel#miguel x reader#miguel atsv#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara angst#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara x y/n#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman 2099 x you#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#miguel ohara x fem!reader#miguel fanfic#miguel o'hara fanfiction#miguel o hara#The Woman He Didn't Choose#miguel o'hara au
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Seeing Your Dragon Form: Dormleaders
Heyyyy~ Back with another chapter! Here, this is when they saw your full dragon form for the first time. Now, this chapter is a bit special. It'll be separated into 3 or 4 parts. One for the Dormleaders, one for the vice's + Ruggie and Floyd, another for the first years and a last one for anyone left. I'm also thinking about one for the teachers + Crowley. This one is the Dormleaders. You can take this as romantic or platonic, your choice.
Also, I'm gonna describe what you look like in Riddle's section so I don't have to in others. Just refer back to his section for imagery.
Riddle
He was certainly shocked, that's for sure.
He's only seen dragons in drawings or in the media, and even then they were mostly the mainstream kind of dragons. Ice isn't the first thing people think of when they think of dragons,
You had taken him to a small clearing of trees in the forest behind NRC since there was plenty of space where you didn't need to worry about hurting someone.
You towered over him, and he himself is pretty short so it made the difference even greater.
The usual cold air that followed you had increased in temperature, making it harder for him to be close to you.
Your horns became larger and sharper, like huge icicles. Spikes ran down your back just as sharp as your horns. Your tail swayed behind you and your eyes gleamed a dangerous e/c color.
Despite all this, you showed no signs of being hostile towards him. When he looked into your eyes, he saw a playful glint in them. Like you were studying his reactions and getting a kick out of it all.
He quickly put himself together after the initial shock.
You brought yourself down to his height and placed your head peacefully on the grass in front of him. He slowly made his way closer to you.
Gently, he placed a hand on your head. Despite the cold feeling, it didn't hurt. He sat next to your head and found himself quickly easing into a sense of safety and security. You laid your wings around him, enclosing the space and basically trapping him, but he didn't mind.
You made gentle, humming noises and he found the shaking feeling began to make him sleepy. He no longer was shocked about how you look like this and the drowsiness of his daily activities caught up to him. He curled up in the crook of your long neck.
"Thank you, for trusting me with this sight. I know how you feel, but you don't need to worry around me. Have a good nap, Y/N. I'm not to far behind you anyways."
Leona
You truly are an oversized lizard, huh?
He did whatever he could to keep the shock off his face, and it worked. You would've believed him, if you hadn't known him so well.
He didn't realize, but his tail stayed close to the grass, his ears twitch in your direction. More than a few of his muscles tensed.
He wasn't scared, just weary. He's always wondered what would happen if Malleus got pissed off at him enough to turn dragon mode. Now he just associates the thought with a sense of danger.
You could pick up on this though. You've always had a strange ability to do that when it comes to Leona. Your next goal? Be as non-threatening as possible.
Your tail gently curled around your hind leg, you sprawled your wings out in the grass around you and you brought your body close to the ground.
When he looked at you, he could clearly see the message you were trying to tell him. He understands you can't talk in this form.
He approached you. His muscles loosened when he touch your snout and your eyes closed, showing contentment.
Gently, he ran his hand up and down your scales. The skin on his hands pricked from the cold, a feeling he still wasn't used to.
His ears picked up on the faint hum you made. A smirk found its way on his face, and he didn't try to hide it.
He spent a bit of time petting you. He saw it as revenge for all the times you pet him with no warning. But, much to his demise, you didn't see it as anything spiteful. You quite enjoyed the attention.
"Hm. Fine. I'll stay with you for a while. But that's only because Ruggie won't come get me if I'm with you while you're like this."
Azul
He was...hesitant..to say the least.
He was nervous to see what you'd turn into. That's not meant to sound mean or judgemental, he wouldn't judge you. You don't judge him, why would he in turn?
More so, it's just that he doesn't know how he himself will react and doesn't want to hurt you with a negative reaction.
He knew you were nervous about yourself for a long time. But, you decided that if he saw you comfortable with yourself, he'd become a bit more confident as well.
It took a lot of convincing from you to lead him into the forest clearing. Even more for the Twins not to follow.
Once you two were there and he backed up to give you space, seeing you transform was the most stunning things he's ever seen.
A white mist covered you and a dark shadow on the inside(you) grew and changed shape. Into the shape of a dragon. When the mist cleared, he saw you.
Your e/c colors stared him down. You did what you could not to freak him out, but you didn't have full control of every habit of yours.
He could feel a few flight reflexes kick in. He stayed in place though. (You praised him for that later)
You sat. You kinda reminded him of a dog with the way you sat and waited patiently. Your tail rested motionless, wings calmly at your sides. Your head tilted to the side. To Azul, it was kinda cute. Like looking at a sea guppy.
He stepped closer, but kept a slight distance. You weren't offended, you knew you needed to take things slow. And you knew he was more worried about you than himself.
In an attempt to show him that there was nothing to worry about, you stretched out one of your arms, careful to watch your claws, and held it in front of him. Like how a human reaches out a hand to a scared animal. (Ironic since he was more human than you rn)
He got the message. He approached you and placed a gentle hand on your arm. The cold was somehow a comfort. It sorta reminded him of the cold waters in the Coral Sea. Slowly, he leaned into your touch and found himself calm. All worry faded away and you came close to him and gave whatever your equivalent of a smile is. It warmed his heart.
"I see. I hope none of my actions hurt you. You were very brave to show me all this. I hope one day, I can be like you with myself."
Kalim
He was certainly the most excited to see your dragon form.
He's never seen a dragon before, and The Land Of Scalding Sands doesn't have any legends or stories regarding dragons, so it's been an obscure concept to him.
He, without hesitance, followed you to the clearing in the forest and patiently waited for you to feel you were ready.
He held his breath as you transformed and only released it when he saw you were okay.
The dragon he saw standing in front of him. Blew. His. Mind!
Even before you could entirely orientate yourself he quickly threw himself onto you and wrapped his arms around your long neck, which was barely close enough to the ground for him to reach. (Especially since he's short)
He talked to you about everything and anything for 2 hours straight. He didn't mind that you couldn't verbally respond, it actually gave him enough time to learn what different ques you made meant. You nodded and shook your head for yes or no questions, you flopped your tail when you meant 'maybe', and your wings flutter lightly when you don't know how to respond.
He even learned what the meaning behind certain sounds meant.
"Sorta wish I had seen your dragon form earlier, but better later than never! Right?...I wonder what Jamil's doing right now?" Cue to Jamil who's freaking out because Kalim didn't tell him he was leaving the dorm.
Vil
He had come to know you pretty well. Despite that, he realized that he never actually asked you anything about your dragon form.
He's definitely thought about it, but never wanted to ask you for fear of making you uncomfortable.
When you told him you really wanted to, he worried that you may have been forcing yourself for him. You quickly reassured him that that wasn't the case. He then agreed to come with.
Seeing you morph was beautiful to him.
You were beautiful.
Your beautiful white scales tinted blue when the sun hit them at a certain angle. Your horns glistened with an icy nature, your eyes shone with a slight glaze of white over them. (Rook explained to him how this protects your eyes from the sun)
All he saw was pure, icy beauty. In a way, he couldn't comprehend why you've been self-conscious about how this form looked. Then he remembered how he gets when people comment negatively about how he looks, and how it can take a toll after so long.
He came to a resolve. To make sure you never again see anything negative about your dragon form!
With quick, confident strides, he approached you. Looking up to meet your eyes, he gave you a sweet, caring face.
He then began to fawn over you. His usual uptight behavior fell to allow his more caring side to take hold so that he could make sure you knew just how beautiful you looked. He commented on how well you seem to take care of yourself, your huge size meaning there was more to admire. Your horns looked like you took gentle care of them. Your snout looked adorable to him. The spikes running down your back, were sharp to the touch.
Those are all examples of how he expressed that he saw and took notice of all your beauty.
He sat on the grass in front of you and allowed you to place you snout in his lap as he gently rubbed your head while whispering sweet compliments to you.
"I hope that, never again, do you see anything wrong with your own beauty. And if anyone tells you other wise, just send them my way."
Idia
You want him to leave his room??? Whyyyyy?
He always thought seeing you in your dragon form would be the coolest thing ever. But he didn't think he'd be dragged out of his room by you and forced into the forest.
We couldn't have just done this somewhere at Ignihyde?
Then you transformed, and he no longer remembered why he was upset.
The fantasy loving weeb in him came out and he started to freak out.
He had a split second of hesitation, ice and fire don't mix and he could feel the ice on you, but his weeb took over and he rushed over. He was no longer shy with you.
His mind was going a million miles and hour and he asked you question after question. Until he realized that you couldn't talk. Which honestly bummed him out a bit but he quickly recovered.
Soon, he took to simply admiring you while you soaked up the attention he was giving you.
His warm fingers lightly slid across your cold scales, sending a shiver up his spine every time, but he didn't mind.
It shocked him when you reached out an arm and pulled him close to you. You held him against your side while you curled up like a puppy.
"Um, okay then. I guess we can stay like this for a bit. But, I do still have some games I need to play later, so not all day, okay?"
Malleus
You had zero problems with him. It actually went the smoothest with him.
When you two were having a conversation a while back, he had questioned if you had a dragon form like he did. You had explained to him that you did but you were to shy to show anyone. He had asked why and you told him that after so long of people bad mouthing you about how you look in fae form, you became hesitant for anyone to see you as a dragon.
He talked about his form in an attempt to help you feel comfortable. He also told you that you'd never need to be scared with him because he's just like you. That made it easier for you to get where you are now. Finally ready to show.
You took him to the clearing and asked him to back away so you wouldn't hit him.
The way you transformed was different from his. He created a puff of smoke around him, you made a mist of ice.
Once the mist faded, he quickly took in every detail about you. How sharper your horns are compared to his, your serrated claws. The white and blue tint of your scales while his a black with purple tints. (Well, that's what Lilia has told him.)
He immediately took to feeling your scales and tough skin, wings and tail. You didn't mind, not like you had a lot of feeling in those areas. He's a dragon to, so he knew exactly where he needed to avoid.
You were a lot more different from him than he was expecting. His scales were rough while yours were smooth. Your horns sharp, his rounded. Your wings were more angular and his were longer.
He didn't mean to get as analytical as he did, he was just really curious. After realizing how he was acting he took to talking to you. Unlike others, he could understand majority of your draconic growls and rumbling. You could actually hold a proper conversation with him.
Eventually, you began to get tired. Your eye lids drooped and you struggled to keep your head up. He saw this and told you it was fine to fall asleep.
He actually turned into his own dragon form and curled up next to you, intertwining your tails. Together, you both fell asleep there on the grass.
"I never thought that I would meet someone so like me, even if we are different. Thank you, Child of Dragons, for coming into my life."
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#ice dragon!reader#justcallmecj fics#justcallmecj headcanons
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I want to become the biggest, dumbest straightest guy around. Young and dumb and totally obnoxious. Maybe a content creator. Or something. Playing with bros, making rude and crude comments to girls, drinking beers, burping and maybe doing drugs. Or something. Maybe like a redneck or stoner or some shit.
‘Or something.’ You want to be the hottest jock douchebag who ever lived ‘or something.’ For someone sharing their deepest fantasy you seem rather unsure about what it is you really want. I’m not judging. A lot of people are unsure about what they truly want. I haven’t always been certain about what I want myself.
But if you really want to be the douchebag jock you dream of, you can never be unsure again. Douchebag jocks aren’t uncertain. About anything. Guys like that, guys like the future you. always know what they want and they fucking get it, everyone else be damned. It’s what makes them so fucking hot. That and their huge muscles and handsome faces.
If you haven’t caught on yet, which would mean you’re already pretty dumb and just need the confidence and muscles of a jock, I’m going to help you with your request. I’m going to turn you into one of those manly, straight, douchebag jocks. I just need one thing from you. I need you to be absolutely certain that this is what you want. There are a couple reasons for this. The first is that there’s no way to reverse it, so if you’re unsure there is no going back. The second is that being unsure will mess up the spell.
Yes, I’m using a spell. I’m using magic. Usually I discuss more scientific transformation methods, and even the ones I can’t explain aren’t explicitly magical, but… I never said magic doesn’t exist. It’s just not very common, and the people who have access to it usually use it for other things. Wizards are usually very serious and refuse to use magic for ‘frivolous pursuits.’ But I managed to convince one to teach me some things, and I think I can help you. All it requires from you is focus. I need you to focus on exactly the kind of guy you want to be, and be absolutely sure that’s what you want.
You think you can do that? Well if you’re sure, I’m gonna cast the spell. 3, 2, 1…
Damn, you really were sure. Look at you! You’re muscles, your sheer arrogance, your sexy brilliant everything! You may be a dumb, misogynistic, hedonistic douchebag now whose constantly going on about fucking pussy and hanging with your bros, but honestly that just makes you hotter. No wonder your YouTube channel is blowing up.
I’m really glad that went well. If I’m being honest I wasn’t sure it would. It was my first spell afterall!
#muscle growth tf#muscle tf#jock tf#jock transformation#jockification#nerd to jock#reality change#magic tf
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I can't get enough of you
PAIRINGS: Bill 2011 x Female reader
CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF
SYPNOSIS: Bill and Y/N have a very toxic marriage, they fight over almost anything. One day he comes home late again and Y/N decides to confront him, when it gets heated, things take a turn...
A/N: HIII ALL, collabing with the wonderful @itsangelll, she is such a sweetheart and we worked so hard on this <3 I wrote the angst and she wrote the smut and fluff, I hope you guys enjoy!!!
WARNINGS: dom!bill, sub!reader, p in v (missionary), a lot of arguing and yelling, physical violence (not super bad)
Me and Bill were forced to get married, the promise of our businesses improving if we did. We obviously agreed to this, wanting to make as much money and deals as we could. Our marriage wasn't healthy or fulfilling at all, it was very toxic and bitter.
We had a lot of sex, mainly during the middle of an argument, we were both very stubborn and immature, not willing to accept our mistakes. We did have good moments, not all were bad, sometimes he'd hold me and tell me how much he loved me, how much he cared but his actions would speak volumes, most nights he'd be gone, coming home at ridiculous times, lying to me constantly, so did he really love me?
We had multiple fights a week, some even becoming physical, one got so bad that he nearly succeeded in throwing a chair at my head. We really did hate being like that towards each other but we couldn't help it, work was stressful and the pressure of being the top 1 mafia bosses in the world.
He came home late one day again, saying goodbye to all his buddies as they sped off, he fiddled with the door before swinging it open and slamming it shut. I was in the lounge, it was pitch black and I had a cigarette lit, my legs crossed. I wanted to scare him, to make him mad, anything.
As he went to walk up the stairs I startled him with my voice, "where the fuck where you Bill?" "fucking hell, don't scare me like that, why are you in the dark?" he grumbled, turning on the light, noticing my red, puffy eyes.
"Have..have you been crying?" he scoffed, "as a matter of fact, yes, I was worried fucking sick, what if you were dead on the fucking road and I didn't know?" I raised my voice, taking a long drag from my burning cigarette.
"Oh shut up, it's not like you give a shit if I was dead or alive, let me have fun, I've been stuck with you for a week for work," he went over to the liquor cabinet, taking out his aged whiskey and sitting in his chair, pouring the burnt umber drink into the glass.
"You're a fucking asshole, you know that right?" I glared at him, "oh trust me I know," he lit a cigarette as well, "you tell me every day, just as I tell you you're a bitch everyday," he gave me a sarcastic smile, rolling his eyes and taking a huge sip from the whiskey.
"I can't believe you just go out, stay out till 5 in the morning and come home and expect me to greet you with milk and fucking cookies, you are a pathetic excuse for a husband!" I yelled, "don't fucking yell at me, you drive me up the wall!" he yelled back, getting up from his chair and storming over to me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up, towering over me.
"Oh you think you scare me? Nice fucking try" I snatched my wrist away, blowing the smoke in his face. He just stood there, eyes burning into mine, a certain rage taking over him.
"You are so fucking controlling, can't a grown man go wherever he wants?" he huffed, his chest heaving up and down in anger. "Oh controlling am I? Aren't you the one who gets mad at me for looking in a guys direction, beats up any man who talks to me, refuses to let me go out when I'm wearing something short? Oh yeah I'm controlling," I scoffed, shaking my head.
"At least I have good reasons, you're getting upset over me being out late, suck it the fuck up," he spat, his words cruel. "You don't get it do you? It's not the fact that you're out late, I don't give a shit do what you want, it's the fact that you never tell me where you're at and I'm sitting here at 4am wondering if i should call people to see where the fuck you are, sorry I give a fuck about you is that so fucking bad?" I rasied my voice, anger flowing through my veins.
"You make me so fucking mad.." he grunted, walking closer to me, narrowing his eyes at me. "Boo fucking hoo, you're a grown man aren't you? Learn how to deal with your emotions properly," I rolled my eyes, he grabbed me by my hair pulled me close, "don't fucking speak to me that way!" he yelled, inches away from my face
I pushed him off me, slapping him harshly on the face, "don't fucking touch me! Don't you ever put your hands on me again!" I screamed, "I could fucking kill you right now!" he yelled back.
"Shoot me then, fucking shoot me!" I yelled, vein buldging out on my forehead. We just stood there, silent for a second, both of our chests heaving up and down in anger.
Without another word Bill grabbed me by my waist and kissed me passionately, his tongue entering my mouth, searching for dominance, "you're so fucking whiny aren't you?" he muttered between kisses, hand hand roughly slapping my ass, I couldn't help but moan.
He pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva parting from my mouth, grabbing my hand and taking me upstairs, he had a pretty strong grip, I almost couldn't keep up.
When we made it to our room, he threw me on the bed, towering over me. His dark brown orbs filled with such lust, wasting no time, he ripped my shirt off, then my jeans, leaving me in nothing but my black lace set of lingiere.
Bill groaned at the sight, a large tent forming in his pants, "you're so pretty f'me schatzi.." he said in a raspy voice, my breath hitched, my core getting even more wet. Even though Bill was sometimes a complete prick, I couldn't help the affect he had on me.
He unclasped my bra and ripped off my underwear, my nipples and wet cunt exposed to the cool air, a shiver went down my spine as he ran his fingers over my breasts. I whined, "don't be a tease Billy, this isn't fair!" he smirked and lifted my chin up, "does my doll want me to fuck her dumb, hm? Is that what you want?" his knee was rubbing my clit non stop, I could burst at any second, nodding desperatly. Bill, without any hesitation removed his belt in one swift move, his jeans and boxers pooling at his ankles, letting his cock spring free.
Even though we've fucked so many times, I could never get over how big he was. Bill swiped a finger over my folds, now coated with my arousal, "I haven't even done anything yet and you're already wet for me doll, you're just that desperate aren't you?" I couldn't answer, he snickered and without warning, he slammed into me, then pulling out fully before filling me up once again. I moaned loudly, the way his cock fit my pussy was amazing.
His hands made their way down to my waist, gripping tightly, bound to leave marks tomorrow. "Fuck, jesus, you feel s'good around my cock love, gonna fill this slutty hole with my cum" he groaned lowly.
Bill moved at a rapid pace, his tip kissing your cervix perfectly. Moans were spilling out of me uncontrollably, I was in pure ecstacy, my walls clenched around him every time he hit that gummy spot, the knot in my stomach growing tighter with each passing second.
"Mmm! Bill, fuck fuck! I'm close!" I whined, he moved his hand down to my clit, rubbing his thumb in fast circles, "cum in this cock for me doll," he whispered, pushing me over the edge,
Those words were all I nodded to hear, my legs shaking, bringing me over the brink. I screamed out his name, cumming all over his cock, "fuck baby, that's it!" Bill let out a low growl before shooting his cum inside me, thank god I was on the pill.
He collapsed on top of me, lifting his head and pressing a kiss to my temple, "you okay my sweet girl? Did I go too rough?" he said in a worry, I smiled, "yes, Billy i'm okay, it was amazing" I replied.
"I'm sorry about the fight earlier liebe.." he sighed, "you just mean to much to me and I can't lose you ever, I don't how what I'd do without you," I was in awe, "Billy..you aren't ever going to lose me, I promise you that," usually he was cold and bitter, leaving me to fall asleep on my own after fucking me in a fit of rage, but this time, he had a change of heart.
I took his hand in mine, kissing him passionately, I really did love him. Even though we were very toxic to each other, I didn't want to ever lose him, he's the reason I keep waking up every day, the reason I want to live life to the fullest.
He's always stayed loyal, always given me what I want, he may lack respect and love sometimes but we can work on it. "I really want us to change our ways, I hate fighting all the time, you mean so much to me," I whispered, looking into his eyes.
"Me too baby, me too, we can make it work," he smiled, sincerity in his expression.
tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @kaulitzsbabyy @ella1289 @tomsonlyslut @ballhair @charliesgoodboy @ge-billsgf @bkaulitzlover @estxkios @miyukafujii
#tom kaulitz#tokiohotel#bill kaulitz#georg listing#gustav schäfer#smut#bill kaulitz x female reader#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz x you#bill kaulitz x y/n#bill kaulitz smut#bill kaulitz fanfic#bill#billy#billkaulitzismybaeandhecumsinmeeveryday#billkaulitzissofuckingsexy#tokio hotel#2000s#ilovebillkaulitzhessosexyiwanthimtopoundmypussysoharditbreaksapart#ilovebillkaulitzmymanmymanmymanmyman#i love bill kaulitz#wet and gushy#wet and needy#soaking wet#wet ass pussy#smut drabble#tokio hotel smut#rough smut#smutty smut smut#heavy angst
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role swap au where other characters from the same source material are the sinners instead. here's my picks
Dongbaek (still out for dongrang's blood)
Gretchen (real sweetheart but easy to manipulate. got kicked out of the nest where she grew up)
Dulcinea (6'1 butch slaughterhouse worker who doesn't know what the hell she's doing here. her name isn't even dulcinea)
The Lord of Horikawa (no one likes him)
Raymond (NO ONE LIKES HIM)
Lin Daiyu (huge crybaby, secretly a freak. kinda like sinclair)
Lockwood (i guess we're going to the house i used to rent, that guy was pretty weird, i wonder how he's — oh my god he got worse)
Queequeg (keeping raymond in line by firmly placing her hand on his shoulder whenever he says something she doesn't like. he is pants-shittingly afraid of her. everyone else loves her.)
Sonya (has beef with the lord of horikawa for some reason and won't answer questions about it. still has the mark of cain)
Dante (dante)
Kromer (currently having insane toxic yuri with daiyu)
Telemachus (looking for his mom and finding a whole lot of sickos instead)
Grete (keeps asking if they can kill raymond)
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u should do hamzah and y/n meeting for the first time after being online “friends” and one thing leads to another if yk what i mean
ohhh ur a genius and I just know Hamzah would be so nervous and obnoxious AH
Skin 2 Skin | Hamzahthefantastic
cw; nsfw 18+ , & fem reader!
🤍: you looked at the window outside your Uber as you looked at the dusk sunset of the Toronto sky eager to finally meet the only person you came to this party/trip for, Hamzah
You and Hamzah have been friends since last year and would almost every night be on FaceTime or on call just listening to each others presence. You liked him a lot. And you’d often think about how things would be if you dated but obviously you always thought he just liked you as a friend and flirted with you just to not make him seem like an asshole. Obviously he likes you too.
He’d always space out to you yapping to him as his thoughts wondered into both of you living in the same apartment and him just wanting his hands all over you.
You anticipatedly hoped out of your Uber and into your hotel. You smooth sailed through the reservation desk as you entered what would be your new home for the next week. You finally got a message from the host making sure you got picked up and were in your room.
Half-a-hour later
You finished up your makeup and sprayed some perfume as you were now out the door into another Uber. This time the traffic caught up and you were gonna be a couple minutes late,
“Ya from here?” Your Uber driver questioned “hm, um no. Im just visiting friends!” You replied as he nodded his head “yeah the traffic gets bad here, especially in Toronto.” He added as you scoffed “I could tell”. After a couple small convos you finally made it to the house. You called Hamzah to walk you in the party.
“Hello? Are you okay? Are you here?” He yelled through the phone “yes I’m here- come outside it’s cold” you said as he hung up, you looked up as you saw him standing there. Your pupils expanded as you noticed how taller he was in person, how his curls laid perfectly around his hat, and how he would easily tower you. “Hamzah!” You exclaimed running towards him as you wrapped your arms around his neck as he placed his hands on your waist carrying you off the ground because of the height difference “you’re so tall! You looked so short on camera” you teased as he pat your back “whatever” He rolled his eyes as his stomach fluttered with butterflies just talking to you in person “okay get off me now” you said jokingly as you pushed him off of you “you know you love me y/n” he smirked as you thanked the amount of blush on your cheeks was covering the actual heat radiating off of your face “okay let me meet Martin now, I’ve had enough of you” you followed him into the party.
After meeting Martin and Mandy and talking for what seemed forever you and Hamzah decided to leave the party a bit early and going to walk around the city a bit just to get to know it a bit better
“Why did you even come here?” He questioned “I don’t know I should have stayed at home huh?” You said sarcastically as he blew raspberry “just say you wanted to come see me” he smirked “this is not rizz” you laughed “oh you wanna see rizz?” He joked “NO” you walked away from him as he chased you and wrapping his arm around you
You agreed to meeting Peter at Hamzah’s apartment as well as stealing a jacket or two just to survive in the chilly Toronto weather, he unlocked his door as he opened the door for you. He showed you around his apartment as he led you to his room scanning through his hoodies.
You were now laid on his bed as one of your legs hung from the edge of his bed. You looked at how his fingers slid through the hoodies and how his figure was huge, you bit your lip at the things you’d do to him as you squeezed your legs together trying your best to achieve some sort of friction. You couldn’t help but call his name “Hamzah-“ he cut you off “I got these two” he said setting the hoodies beside you, you fought over the fact you just wanted to tell this man how you felt about him. How you enjoyed conversations with him and how you wished for this day to come and just confess your feelings “what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He questioned sitting beside you as you sat up “Hamzah, I don’t know if this will ruin us but- I really like you, like a lot” you looked at his pink lips as they spread into a smile “I’m glad Im not the only one- I like you too.” He placed his hand on your thigh that slowly rode up to your waist, you looked down at his hand and back to his eyes and lips
His lips crashed into yours as you felt yourself getting hotter by the minute
He slid his hand up to your waist as you placed your hand on the side of his face. Your small groans and moans made his pants grow tighter as your lips parted from each other, “I- wanna keep going? I can stop if you want.” He panted as you nodded your head as you nipped at the apple of his cheek “I really want you inside of me please Hamzah” you whispered into his ear as he laid back onto the headboard of his bed as you crawled on top of him feeling how hard he was just by making out with you “fuck- you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this” he whimpered as you took off your top leaving you in your bra as he practically drooled “then show me” you smirked as he kissed your exposed chest leaving passionate hickies all over your neck and chest. His hands traveled all over your back as he unclipped your bra as his eyes immediately turned to yours asking for permission as you nodded. He kissed your exposed tits as his tongue swirled around your nipple as you felt your self grinding on his lap “fuck!” You yelled as his hands slithered to your neck lightly gripping it, you felt your panties get wet as you ran your fingers through his curls
He picked you up and threw you under him as he left a trail of kisses down to your button on your pants. You impatiently watched him take your pants off slowly as you just him inside you. He throw your pants leaving you in your soaked panties as you turned red from embarrassment “mf-so wet” he licked his lips as he kissed your inner thigh “please, please Hamzah!” You whined as he giggled as his hot breath teased you even more.
He slipped the side of your panties off as the cool air sent shivers through out your whole body as you gripped on to the sheets of his bed. “Fuck y/n, you look so pretty from m’ere” he smirked as he kissed your wet dripping cunt making you curse under your breath. This man was sending you to a whirlwind of lust. His mouth did pleasures on your pussy as you felt yourself coming all over his lips and nose. “You taste so sweet baby” he licked his lips once again as his lips intertwined with yours. You tugged at his shirt wanting it off as he swiftly took off his shirt as well, he fidgeted with his pants as he slid off his boxers as well. Your eyes widened at the length of his aching member contemplating how he was gonna go all in on you. He pumped his aching cock as his spilling tip fondled over your heated core “you tell me when to stop. I’ll go slow ‘kay?” He grunted as you nodded as you wrapped your arms around his neck as he slowly entered inside of you causing you to already almost come undone as he was halfway down “how’s that?” He panted as your mouth widened “keep going”.
He finally thrusted into you fully as you dug your nails onto his back, “holy shit!” Your moans filled the room as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. His lips laid on top of you as his groans vibrated. You felt your self already riding your high as you panted under him with every thrust. “Want me to keep doing baby? Yeah?” He groaned as you whined under him. As you finally adjusted to his size he decided to start going faster as he repeatedly hit your spot “fuck- oh my god yes please Hamzah! Fuck” you left scratches on to his back, “yes! Fuck Hamzah I’m gonna fucking come!” At this point you didn’t care about the neighbors and how loud you were. You were seeing stars. “Yes baby just come all over my fucking cock like you’ve always wanted to- yes” he panted.
You came undone all over him as you felt his warm seed inside of you. He panted as he kissed your forehead “you did so good, so good” he groaned as he pulled out as your mixed come spilled out of you “how did we get here” you laughed as you covered your face with a pillow as he laid beside you “I don’t know but I don’t regret it” he teased as he laid on your chest slowly dozing off.
-
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ok so this is a question that i wish was discussed more in other spicy spaces without getting either too careful or too obviously an expression of people's unrealistic fantasies. what do you think attracts will to mike, both in terms of emotional and physical attraction?
there's lots of discussion about mike's attraction to will because that's thought to be what we need more of in the show, and people are happy to talk about will's physical attributes like his ass. but when will's attraction to mike is discussed, its always in the context of emotion and love and friendship becoming romantic, but never physical. there's not much in the way of will's fantasies or him being allowed to have a purely physical aspect to his love for mike, which is so sad to me because it reflects the thematic castration of will in the show (@therainscene did a great post on this about the lack of posters and sexuality in will's room etc).
i personally think the dnd alter egos give lots of hints about why will is emotionally attracted to mike, but at the same time, physicality and presence is a huge part of medieval/roleplay, so Will MUST have thought about mike's physicality in his fantasies, surely?
i wonder if there's not a lot of spec on this because people find there to be a dissonance between finn/mike's body and what they think mike's character represents in the show to a negative degree? whereas for will, even though his muscle development isnt **exactly** in line with will's character, society considers muscles to be a good thing so the change doesnt upset anyone. (not to say muscular men can't be sensitive, but the duffers probably would have chosen him to remain more delicate if they had a choice)
i personally think that mike's awkwardness due to finn's physicality has always been present and a big part of what makes the show so endearing, esp in s1. its only because there's an expectation for blockbuster scale epic fight scenes now, big music, big action, that people start to think mike needs to be this Baddie. I like the idea of him having a moment, but i dont need him to be wielding a sword like a badass and Looking Cool 24/7. Mike isnt traditionally cool, i need him to stay that a nerd lol.
maybe this is also why i think there would be something so powerful about a byler sex scene, because the more awkward/realistic/nerdier the better? it doesnt need to be traditionally sexy, but it WOULD be sexy just because of the fact that it would be mike and will and them getting together is intrinsically sexy.
i hope this makes sense lol sorry for the essay
EXCELLENT TOPIC! So many good points. You're absolutely correct about all of this - there is a definite line it seems, with more focus given to how Mike views Will, versus what made Will develop feelings and attraction to Mike, beyond the "we're best friends and I want you in my life forever"-ness of it all. I love talking about what Mike loves about Will, but let's hype up the other side of this coin.
This may sound so odd, but I genuinely think sometimes it's forgotten in general spaces that Will is gay? And what that actually means. Like he's a gay guy. Who is attracted to men and ultimately wants to be intimate with men (even if in present time, this want is being internally and externally denied). And Mike is a man (big juicy can of worms re: the gnc debate, save that for another essay, but I think my stance is visible between the lines here) and Will wants him. We all saw how Will looked at Mike in the desert. Dirty, white t-shirt probably transparent in spots from sweat, heaving breath as he did all the work shoveling for his boy bestie. Will doesn't have to lift a finger. Will gets to pretend to move several grains of sand around. Will looks at Mike with lust in his eyes. That is the boy he's grown up with and had been crushing on as a kid, that's the guy he's fallen in love with. And Mike has grown up. Still awkward, but developing into someone that Will not only wants to spend forever with, but wants intimately.
I like to imagine them as kids, maybe around the age they are introduced to us as in s1. What are they, 12? It's been awhile, but I remember being 12. I remember my first crushes, and they happened even earlier. Will has several male friends - each with their own appealing attributes. I think any of the party could be cute to a young, sexually confused nerd. But Will crushes on Mike. His first friend, the face he can imagine perfectly when he closes his eyes, able to draw him from memory because our boy is an artist. Little Will, drawing in sketchbooks from the early years. Why is it so important that he gets the shape of Mike's lips just right? Why are his eyes the best eyes he's ever drawn? Why does he spend so long perfecting a technique to capture the dark swoops of his best friend's hair? He's caught himself staring too long at Mike's mouth on occasion. He's caught himself suppressing a shudder when Mike's arm is so casually thrown around him, holding him close. He smells like a boy. He likes that a lot more than whatever girls douse themselves with. Uh oh.
Mike is not conventionally attractive. Neither is FW, either. Not to say he's bad looking (I find him very very attractive), but honestly - he's different. He's not like the cookie cutter Ken, the action figure, the Hollywood poster boy. He's got unique features and is awkward in his own skin. I don't think girls (and closeted guys) at Mike's school are falling at his feet. "I'm not exactly Mr. Popular." But they still look. As opposed to Jason, the All-American Juxtaposition. Jason - classically and cliche-handsome, the prototype boyfriend for the prototype cheerleader. If Will was at Hawkins High that year, I'm sure he'd give Jason a passing glance. He's an attractive man. Will's heart can belong to one and his eyes can appreciate attractive people in his vicinity. But Mike. Mike. Slightly taller, his protective personality bleeding into his physicality. I can see Will being into the protectiveness as a physical manifestation. Mike can maneuver him, can probably hug him tight and lift him up. He's not some action hero, or a muscled heartthrob but he's not as pathetic as fanon so pretends. I don't think he's gonna be an over powered badass by any means, but he can wield a sword and try and even if he's not that great at it. He's not hesitant. And clearly Will knows this. He painted it. He's into it. Mike, able to lead them into battle. Mike, awkward but endearing and strong. Mike with his big hands and lean muscles and that mouth that Will's eyes are drawn to like magnets and he hopes he's not as guiltily obvious as he feels when he watches his best friend orbit around him.
He may hide his attraction to men, with no posters of them on his walls. Diverting his eyes when he notices an attractive man in public. But he has music and cinema. Albums and magazines and movies. Mike looks more like the men in his favorite bands than the men playing professional sports. Bowie is so much cooler. He's odd, he's different. He's hot. Will likes the unconventional and he likes the familiar things that make him feel good and safe. Mike makes him feel safe. Oh, how he wants Mike to make him feel good.
Will had a crush on his best friend, when he first started being plagued with the realization that boys were cute. Will fell in love and when he re-met his best friend in the airport - his friend has grown up hot. He's pissed off and heartbroken that they haven't reached out to each other more, but he can't keep his eyes off Mike. He's dreamed about him and sketched him from memory so many times before Spring Break - but in the flesh? Everything and more. Will wants him.
#asks#whewwww a long one#love love love this topic#spicy byler#not tooooo spicy but still hesitant for the main tag I guess 😬😘
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That scene with Eddie and Kim dressed as Shannon is that supposed to be the big emotional scene that was being talked about leading up to this episode? If Tim is expecting me to be invested in a scene like that he's sorely mistaken.
I love Ryan and Eddie but there was too much wrong with that scene for it have any kind emotional impact. I honestly just left it being confused and angry.
In the first place the scene initially came off looking like a dream especially since Kim was styled almost exactly how we saw Shannon talking to Chris in 701. I thought okay Eddie is going to say all these things to dream Shannon that he wanted to say (even get angry with her) things he didn't get to say before she died. Except here's the other problem Tim is trying to prop Shannon up and make her into a better person than she was. He's also trying to make it seem like Eddie had all these huge feelings for her that were never shown previously.
I definitely believe that Eddie loved Shannon and of course he had a lot of history with her and she's Chris' mother but I don't believe he was in romantic love with her. Eddie was always running away from Shannon even in s2. The only reason he even asked her to be with him again is because of Chris and because they thought she was pregnant. And really because Eddie has always done what he thinks he's supposed to do not what he truly wants to do especially when it comes to relationships.
I really can't stand when shows try and rewrite history like this. Shannon was important to Eddie but the show keeps trying to make her relationship with Eddie into something it wasn't and it really makes me hate when they bring her up.
Back to the scene with Eddie and Kim like I said I thought it was a dream so I really wanted to see where they were going with it. But as soon as they kept having Eddie talk about how he can't move on from Shannon because of how much he loved her I'm like nope I'm out. Let this man move on. Let him finally admit to himself that his relationship with Shannon wasn't perfect and let him stop comparing every relationship he ever gets into to something that never even existed.
The bigger problem I had with this scene though is that it wasn't even Shannon. If you wanted the audience to have some kind of emotional response to Eddie grieving his dead ex wife maybe don't have some woman he's cheating with dress up as her. It was all so bizzare. I also fail to see what Kim's motivation is for even doing that. She barely knows Eddie and she knows now that he was only even seeing her as some kind of replacement for his dead ex yet she's still interested in him. Then to top it off we had Marisol and Chris walking in on the whole scene. Having Chris see this woman who looks like his dead mom is just really cruel. I love Eddie but I really hope he's going to have to answer for that. I don't want to see the show just brush this off with some kind of talk between them because the level of so not okay that was is off the charts.
I just wish I knew where Tim is going with any of this because it's all so weird. I thought this Kim storyline was going to be about helping Eddie get closure and move forward but now I don't know what they're doing. I really hope that both Marisol and Kim will be gone by next season. This isn't even about Buddie neither one of them would make a good love interest for Eddie at this point.
Also why give Kim a birthmark like Buck if it's not supposed to make us think of Buck? Far as I can tell it's not a birthmark Devin has or her real hair color so what even was the purpose of that?
What is the purpose of bringing Buck into this storyline? I know Buddie are friends and they had most of the characters busy doing other stuff but I do wonder if Buck will play any more of a role in what's going on with Eddie.
I mean I'm glad they had Buck confront Eddie but tbh I wanted to see him get angrier about it. Buck said something to Eddie like have Marisol and Chris met her because Eddie was saying Kim was only a friend. I just feel like Buck would never want Chris to meet this woman. He just talked to Chris in 701 about how much his mom's death is still seriously affecting him. Why would he want Chris to meet this doppelgänger of his mom?
I know it's a shorter season but some of the writing choices this season feel messy and rushed. I honestly don't anticipate this Vertigo storyline having a satisfying conclusion. As it is they should have started it earlier and now it's being crammed into two already over stuffed episodes. I just hope that Eddie is going to get some better storylines next season because I haven't really been a fan of anything they've done with him on his own this season. Like first the nun and now this. What kind of vendetta do you have against Ryan Guzman Tim because these storylines are awful.
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Tim Drake Headcanons
I think I've only written like this once before for a Steve Headcannon. Not my usual writing style, but I kind of like it
If Tim was asked to pinpoint when his spiral began, he was sure he knew the exact moment. It was by pure coincidence one spring day. Just a slight bump on the street. That's all it took for his obsession to begin.
One bump turned into two, then three, then four, then five, and so forth and so forth. They were all just coincidences. None of it was planned, which is strange for a man like Tim.
At first, he thought you were stalking him. Maybe you were hoping to get the attention of billionaire playboy's Bruce Wayne's son? Though, none of your interactions were meaningful enough for it to be worth the effort of going through the trouble of finding him and running into. Especially if you're only exchanging a few words.
You don't think twice about Tim each time you run into him. In fact, you don't even realize that you keep running into him. Your mind is so preoccupied with other things that you have failed to notice that you've bumped into the same guy three times in the past week.
Tim's impressed with your lack of presence online. He tried looking for any social media, where you go to school, where you live, really anything, but it was like you didn't exist. Though, he was looking for girls with h/l h/c hair, y/h [Your Height], and s/c skin. It was very broad. His luck changed one day though, because he saw you in a cafe. A cafe were they put NAMES ON THE DRINK!!! HE WAS SAVED
And that's how he found out your name was Y/n. He was ecstatic. He nearly patted his own back in applause when figuring it out. You were difficult to find, which is saying a lot, but he did eventually find you. There wasn't much about you online; Seems you didn't have a huge social media presence.
He learns everything he can about you and then he makes a plan. The next time he runs into you, he'll start up a conversation. And that's exactly what he does.
You were a little surprised when a rich man started talking to you. In fact, you looked around wondering if he was talking to you. He picks up your school id, that you had dropped- He curses under his breath, because why would you make it so easy to know everything about you with a simple lanyard?-
"Uh," He looks at the ID, pretending to read it, "Y/n?"
"Yeah, that's my name," You take your ID from him, before clicking your tongue, your eyes, rolling around the area around you.
"Hi, I'm Tim, Tim Drake."
#tim drake#tim drake x reader#robin#robin x reader#batfamily#batfam#red robin#tim drake wayne#red robin x reader#female reader
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well we know these work
#logbook#fungi#cackling bc i talked abt how we found a wall of shrooms growing in the cardboard box. and then inside.#this is HUGE i wonder what the others look like#also walked into work to apparently managers texting employees to see if they could come in at 4am. jesus christ.#smth abt a truck arriving. and inventory starts today.#so that just makes everybody more chicken with their heads chopped off than usual. i forgot to bring popcorn to watch with s from paing.#been here 2hrs now. found another bee frien. im consolidating and making front tables look as nice as i can.#basically abt to take liberties and do whatever the hell i want bc we dont have everything they want on the pog#and they're using a different entrance. joy.#ugh ok anyways. gotta get all this fixed up mostly b4 i leave.
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I jokingly thought before that reading Junie B. Jones as a kid turned me into a feminist, but unironically, it kind of did.
I honestly think it comes down to the fact that Junie B. was not only allowed to be "weird," but her character arc never concluded like other girl characters would. In other media featuring "weird girls," the girl always ended her arc tamed - by force or convince, she would be prettied up, she would smile and be polite, and she would never speak out of turn. She would be perfect then, and would shed her veneer of individuality with the freedom that is conformity. As a kid, I noticed that girls weren't permitted to be "weird" like boys were. So when I read Junie B. Jones, I loved that she was frankly just fucking weird. She said things out of turn, she was rambunctious and imaginative and she was a realistic portrayal of a little girl. I loved reading those books because the narrative taught her lessons without punishing her for being weird, if that makes sense. So often, narratives punished weird girls for the crime of being a socially unacceptable girl, not for any true wrongdoing like lying.
Anyway, I just think it's interesting, because I watched and read a ton of books and shows and movies featuring girls and women, but none of them truly empathized with (or even tried to empathize with) weird girls on their own merits and capabilities and terms, or embraced the idea of a "socially inept/unacceptable" girl without punishing her in some way for her supposed ineptitude.
#feminism#and like junie b. got in trouble A LOT but she wasn't punished FOR being weird (honestly i thought she was adhd as a kid)#i haven't read the books in WELL over a decade but this is what i truly remember liking about the books#and i felt as a kid it said something that she was a seeming rarity among the sea of other portrayals of girls#am i looking too deep into this? honestly i don't care#and it makes me wonder if all the pushback those books got was partially because junie b. wasn't an 'acceptable' girl#like she's no more 'out there' than the portrayals of little boys that are out there and there were lessons and things from what i remember#i'm not saying you HAVE to like the books by the way but i think sometimes other people can get really angry about GIRLS acting like kids#i was ranting about these books to my dad because he didn't like them but he did still let me read them so thanks dad 🫡🫡#i just remember them being a huge part of my personal library because of how realistic and relatable junie b. was#like i acted really similarly to her when i was a kid and i felt like i was being understood (which is why i hc she's adhd/audhd/autistic)
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tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.
(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)
and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.
tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.
(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)
and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.
(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)
and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly
and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves
(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)
but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.
#what the fuck is this#the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses#into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra#anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely#also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from#but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed#also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that#they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history#and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world#maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat#together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've#understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious.#maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both.#i need to lay down. im going crazy#as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!!#bernard dowd#dc#tim drake#timbern#timber
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