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johnslittlespoon · 12 days

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thinking unholy thoughts of gale making john come untouched with only his fingers in the biker au… maybe john didn’t even know it was possible so when gale keeps going he gets confused and is like “i’m good im ready” but gale keeps going 😅

au post | ohhh man okay. yeah feeling super extremely sane and normal about this, never been better! thanks! ~2k words of nsfw filth below the cut sighhhh

okay, prefaced with a little more world building in my last post since we're really diving into this au now LOL. ofc things might change when i actually write it, but this is how i'm feeling things will go rn!

re: 'maybe john didn't even know it was possible'– like i said in the drabble before this, he's fooled around a little with curt, but nothing more than getting a bit handsy. he's had a girlfriend for around a year, so they were probably serious enough to get up to things too, but straight sex is very different from gay sex obviously.

the internet exists, and during the time john is pining(thirsting) over gale, he probably does his fair share of googling 'blond man with tattoos fucks brunet man', but really he's kinda intimidated by a lot of stuff, so he doesn't delve too deep into that world. when he and gale start seeing each other and john realizes they're gonna move past making out eventually (because gale is almost such a gentleman sometimes that john wants to bash his head in in his impatience), he probably psychs himself out a bit and gets into his own head and is like fuck.

gale's had years to gain experience and what if he's not good enough or does something stupid or or or, on and on. obviously these worries are completely unfounded because gale adores him and would never pressure him and doesn't expect them to just jump right into things; half of the reason he probably drags things out is because he wants to be absolutely certain things are on john's terms, and that john's not just being horny and impulsive.

john probably ends up trying to do some research so he can yk. pick up some tips, because he's got all the enthusiasm he needs when he thinks about getting to drop to his knees for gale, but he has no idea what he's doing and he doesn't realize everyone learns as they go because he's dumb (/fond) and overthinks everything. (whatever he ends up learning doesn't matter anyway, because all coherent thought leaves his head when they do start doing stuff together and gale is so encouraging and easygoing that he feels ridiculous for ever worrying.)

all that is to say that yeah, he's got like no firsthand experience when it comes to anything past the basics or anything he hasn't been doing by himself. everything is fresh and exciting and as much as he loves just hanging around gale, he's also always needy and horny (gets told he's "insatiable" quite a few times by gale) so they get up to a lot of shit and it's unfair how good gale is in bed and how he knows exactly which buttons to press to get john worked up.

at the time this incident happens, gale's already fingered john a few times, but it's always just as a build up/foreplay, usually followed or joined with gale's other hand or lips around john's cock. they haven't had sex yet, and it feels really nice when gale does this, but john always just kinda sees it as foreplay and it doesn't last for long.

so when gale's got john laid in his bed one sunny afternoon and they're making out and john starts getting whiny and squirmy from the stimulation of his fingers in him, and gale doesn't switch things up like he usually does, john's heart leaps because in his mind, surely gale's getting him ready for something else.

but he's frustrated because it feels like gale's purposefully avoiding hitting right where he needs him to, pants out gale's name against his lips, grasping the back of gale's shirt. starts rocking his hips down against his fingers, seeking it out, and gale rumbles out a "needy thing" before pressing a kiss to his cheek and crawling down the length of his body, settling himself between john's legs.

john props himself up on his elbows to watch, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy, digging his fingers into the blanket instead. he lets out a little whine at the slow drag of gale's fingers, and that finally makes him cave, crooking his fingers just right, and john's lips part at the way the sudden surge of pleasure zings up his spine.

lets his elbows slide out from underneath himself, dropping back down into the pillow, satisfied he's finally getting what he's been waiting for since gale worked him open ten minutes ago. he waits for stimulation on his cock to join the fingers in him as usual, assuming that's why gale moved to lay there, but gale just keeps up the slow in and out and consistent brushes against his prostate and its embarrassing how much he's leaking all over his own stomach.

but then he has the thought that maybe gale's actually properly prepping him and his cock twitches and his breath catches and he props himself up again to find gale already watching him. he waits expectantly, too shy to ask, and gale doesn't offer him any confirmation, just pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and smiling when john's hips start to roll down against his fingers again.

john thinks that maybe gale's waiting for him to say he's ready, since he does often make him ask for what he wants, so even as his cheeks go hot, he gets out a breathy "gale, i'm– that's good, 'm ready."

but gale only chuckles quietly, nipping at his thigh to feel it twitch away, watching john in a way that makes him feel somehow even more exposed than he already is, and now he's even more confused and he feels like he's melting into the bed and gale's putting a little more pressure into each crook of his fingers and the sounds he's making are so whiny and high pitched that he wants to cover his own ears out of embarrassment.

"does it feel good, doll?" gale purrs, dragging john's eyes back to him, and he nods, twisting his hands in the blankets harder. it does feel good, enough so that heat is pooling in his stomach in a way that's both familiar and foreign, the sensation all different with no friction against his dick.

gale's working his hand a little faster and john's face burns at the realization that he's being finger–fucked like a girl and he drops back into the pillows, arms going too weak to hold himself up. his thighs are starting to tremble and gale murmurs that he's "making such a mess on yourself, baby, look at you" and john immediately reaches down to take his dick in his hand, but gale catches his wrist with his free hand, slowing his movements down, much to john's dismay.

"no hands today, john," he says gently, letting go of his wrist. "i want you to keep them at your side for me, can you do that?"

and john lets out a near hysterical noise but he obliges, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket again, head spinning at being given an instruction, biting down on the inside of his cheek when gale speeds his fingers up again with a "good job, baby."

the heat builds and builds as gale's fingers hit right where they need to each time, and it feels like he's just hanging on the edge of an orgasm for so long, unable to tip over that edge, eyes blurring over from how overwhelming the drawn out sweet–hot pleasure is. he's mindlessly rocking his hips down and panting out little "ah ah ah"s with each thrust of gale's fingers and he's so close to lifting his hand from his side when a sob of frustration slips out.

but gale presses his lips to his thigh again, sucking at the sensitive skin there, pulls back to murmur a stream of "c'mon sweet thing, come on my fingers, show me how good you feel, you can do it" and john chokes out a cry as he clenches around his fingers and comes so hard he nearly blacks out, back arching and hips stuttering up like he can get friction that way.

gale's hand chases his jerking movements, continuing to fuck him on his fingers as john paints his own stomach, cock pulsing, feeling like he's just going to keep coming and coming, mewling desperately and shaking like a leaf and seeing stars behind his closed eyelids.

he closes his thighs against gale's sides when it starts to be too much, hands shaking when reaches down to tiredly push at him, hips stuttering away from the stimulation, hiccupping as he tries to catch his breath. he can feel hot tears soaking into the hair at his temples, lips parted in surprise, shuddering when gale lets his movements slow down until his fingers go still.

john whines when he pulls them out, despite his efforts to squirm away from them moments before, and gale presses a kiss to his hip before he crawls back up his body, cupping john's face with the hand not covered in lube, and john's eyes flutter open, bleary when they focus in on the expression of awe on gale's face.

"fuck, john," gale sounds almost as breathless as him. "you're crying, baby. was that okay?" john nods shakily, tilting his chin up for a kiss, and gale leans down without missing a beat, kissing him so deep it feels like he wants to devour him. mumbles "you have no idea what you do to me" against john's lips, brushing his fingers over the tear streaks on either side of his face, peppering his red cheeks with light kisses before pulling back again.

"felt good?" he murmurs, and john chokes out a laugh at the understatement, draping his wrist over his forehead. "really good," he breathes out, flushing when he opens his mouth again, "didn't know that was, um. a thing." and gale half laughs, half groans at the admission, rolling his hips down, and john sucks in a sharp breath at the drag of his pants, cock twitching even after all that.

gale doesn't mind; he's more than happy to watch his pretty boy fall apart on his fingers, mouth, cock, as many times as john lets him.

#a boioioing sound effect played when i read this ask #i kept going oh my god oh my GOD under my breath #felt like a fly rubbing my hands together maniacally #this is just filth but are we surprised. probably not #NOT PROOFREAD YET ALRIGHT i need a Snack #leaving bikeriders au #johnslittlespoon asks #johnslittlespoon brainrot #johnslittlespoon spicy #buckbucky #johnslittlespoon writes

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box-dwelling · 3 months

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KLARYAN KRISNIX PARALLELS PLEASEEEEE I HAVE SO SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TOO BUT I CANT ARTICULATE THEM QUITE RIGHT PLEASE ADD YOUR VOICE TO MY INTERNAL BRAINROT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

@vexx-ation you also asked so here we go. (As have a few anons sorry this is long and it's taking a while to write everything down)

So my Klaryan take is kinda a mega theory that takes a lot of mini theories into consideration so here it is. This will be long. This will be unhinged. This is my Pepe silvia

Tw for discussions of substance abuse and abusive relationships

1) AA4 parallel foils

Ok so this is semi common knowledge. Every character in AA4 is ment to be a direct foil to a character in aa1. This is well documented and also applies to a lot of the witnesses too. Apollo is a foil for Phoenix, Ema is a foil for Gumshoe, Trucy is a foil for Maya, Klavier is a foil for Edgeworth. This goes on for almost every charcater in the game.

But here's the thing. The trilogy already has foils already. So some of these charcaters end up being massive parallels to eachother. A non relevent example I think about daily is that Trucy and Franziska are very similar but where this is relevant is Klapollo and Narumitsu. I have a post explaining this I'm more detail but basically while far from identical there are a lot of perhaps unintentional but at minimum unexplored parallels between Phoenix and Klavier and Apollo and Edgeworth. This is important.

2) Krisnix as an allegory for substance abuse

So first of my opinion of this doesn't really influence my take on grape juice but it's pretty undeniable that even if you don't think Beanix has addiction issues, hes almost coded to. There's the comment about Ema and the white powder and then the extent to which he's always surrounded by grape juice which at minimum looks like wine. In universe it's easy to see this as a part of his mask and that is my in universe take, he's trying to look in a bad way to hide how he's actually doing.

But I think we can take this further. Miles and Kristoph are superficially very very similar characters however underneath are deeply different and as such have a very different effect on Phoenix's mental state. Miles is absent during the 7yg at his request. And there's a miles shaped hole left in his life that he wants to fill with something that is superficially the same but is in it's effects very different and very bad for him.

Anyone who has dealt with addiction will likely recognise that pattern.

3) Klavier is on some level (whether he's in denial about it or not) aware that Kristoph is in some way dangerous or abusive and was running from him with the band

This is mostly just my take on how he acts in sucession and another very good post that I'll have to find that talks about how similar him joining the band was to the things the other people involved with the Gramarye trial did to try and evade Kristoph.

4) Phoenixs biggest flaw and how Kristoph tests it

So I basically never shut up about this in some places but might not have talked about it here so the tldr of this is that Phoenixs biggest flaw is that he is constantly trying to see the best in people. The final test of this is not breaking the black psyche locks and accepting that just because he's a human being with complexity, doesn't mean his actions are excused or that Phoenix has to forgive or protect him.

So this is where we can start bringing it together a bit.

Klavier and Phoenix are both very similar characters and both victims of Kristophs abuse. Phoenix has a relationship that exemplifies his harmful behaviour after the trial, it's pretty interesting to explore the same thing happening to Klavier.

Especially when we start to compare Daryan to Kristoph and find that they're superficially very different even if both of them turned out to be murders. Kristoph is reserved, Daryan is brash. Kristoph is classy, Daryan is flashy. Kristoph is well spoken and poetic, Daryan is straightforward. You get the idea.

And isn't that fucking fascinating? That Klavier ran to someone who was the complete opposite of his brother but ended up being just as dangerous? And also is it not really interesting that as Phoenix has to learn to accept Kristoph's humanity doesn't excuse his actions. If we take Klavier running to Daryan in this way to be him refusing to acknowledge the human side of his brother, that but running to the superficial opposite and not recognising what truly did make Kristoph dangerous, he fell into the arms of a murder.

And of course, the person he then falls for, is someone who is Apollo. Who is genuinely a good person but was Kristophs mentor and is very similar to him in a number of superficial ways. He has to stop running from his trauma and confront it head on.

Basically this interpreation means the klaryan/ Klapollo and Narumitsu/Krisnix love triangles function as basically a microcosm for how these two handle their trauma and how they have to over come it and each is a direct mirror of the other.

My take on Daryan

Ok people might have seen me joke that he's straight. Here's the thing. I think he definitely has been sleeping with Klavier. They are in some kind of relationship. Buuuuut, I do not think the feelings he has about the relationship are ever well traditionally romantic or sexual. I think it's driven from his side primarily by envy and rage that Klavier gets the spotlight more than him. He can never upstage Klavier on stage, but he can posses him. He can make him feel like shit as revenge.

My General Klayran timeline

They start whatever their weird thing is during the 7yg.

After 4-1 Klavier spirals a lot and it puts intense strain on their relationship because Daryan does not care about this bitch and does not want to support him

4-2 Klavier meets Apollo, sees him in court and kinda starts to develop a big old crush. He realises that Daryan is making him miserable and breaks it off after the case

4-3 newly broken up and it's taking its toll. Then we'll 4-3 happens and that's the end of them.

#ace attorney #klaryan #krisnix #klavier gavin #daryan crescend #aa4 #kristoph gavin #phoenix wright #beanix #klapollo #apollo justice #miles edgeworth #narumitsu #wrightworth

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

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Okok so I read in another post a hc of all the lookism boys (+ Yenna) living in a house together and i thought what if 👀 there was a den mother of some sort. Like an older little hispanic lady that sees them in her house and just decides that yes these are her kids and she will help them find their way back. Obviously Yenna is her favorite ans she can do no wrong. I haven’t caught up with Lookism completely (just htf and mk) but i feel like the unacknowledged mommy issues have potential. Only if you can of course if this isn’t something you can vibe with i totally get it.

Oh anon, you mean THIS PIECE OF ART from Ying/@mymxnfgh?

Anon, you really asking for WWIII with all these boys vying for your attention huh. Let's give this a go, I think I may be waaaay off the mark.

Lastly, I really wouldn't be able to write hispanic well. British? Yep. East Asian? Sure. So... just casually skipping over this part of the ask.

Lookism Boys living together + vying for your attention dynamics

Platonic. From least chaotic to most. Based on this hc from Ying/@mymxnfgh

Daniel Park and Jay Hong don't really have any mommy issues, so they stay away from the general chaos. They're the 'quiet' ones (especially Jay). You make sure to keep an eye on them so they don't get left out.

Honestly, absolute sweethearts. If you want anything done, then you know you can count on these two. Low-key your faves as they don't cause any headaches.

For Eli, Warren and Yenna, family comes first. And family is Hostel. They're initially guarded, but ultimately they're still children looking after a child. You have a lot of patience for them and take them under your wing, especially Yenna.

You spend a lot of time with Warren trying to help him with his speech, and you absolutely forbid Eli from cutting anyone's hair. You threaten if he so much as touch a hair on Yenna's head then he's dead.

DG is too cool to make any overt bid for your attention. Makes a lot of sly comments to try and sow dissent, but just gets on with his own thing. He gets more enjoyment out of watching the general chaos.

The subtle rivalry of Vasco and Zack would return. Vasco, thinking Zack is a bit of dick, and Zack would of course think of Vasco as an idiot.

Their rivalry is relatively harmless, but causes a lot of headaches day to day. They would fight over washing the dishes, but somehow break everything. Doing the laundry and everything is pink. Cook to impress you but nothing is edible. You appreciate their intentions but your life would be so much easier if they just left it to you.

What can we say about Johan. We all know what this guy would be like. He is THE mommy issues. Jealous that he doesn't get your undivided attention. Clingy and needy, constantly around you. Sulks and throws tantrums if he doesn't get his way. Luckily you have Zack, Jake and Daniel to tell him to be reasonable, and Gun who threatens to beat his childishness out of him.

Having you around as a constant, comforting presence eases Johan's psyche over time. It doesn't completely undo all the hardships but it's healthy for him to realise he has someone there for him.

Goo would absolutely try and pull rank over Samuel over who gets to spend time with you. Sammy is all smiles and 'Yes, Sir" but as soon as Goo turns his back, Sammy would be immediately sucking up to you.

They never seem to fight, but they constantly snipe at each other. The insults escalate from barely veiled to full blown expletives and cursing. It's surprisingly creative. "Samuel it's a good job you killed you dad and he's looking up at you from hell because you are a disappointment." "Goo, the smell of bullshit coming out of your mouth is putting Y/N off their dinner."

(Jake and Gun loves these exchanges)

Jake and Samuel would be politely smiling at each other one moment, and then trying to kill each other the next. It's less to do with you, and more to do with their own brand of communication.

Jake, on his own, you find simply lovely and Samuel has his charms. But together. JFC.

You do try and help them work out their differences. All this mess with Gangsters and Gapryong Kim but turns out that they would fight over anything. Even something as mundane as how to cook something the 'correct' way. It's easier for them to just duke it out. They always make up in the end... but inevitably will be fighting again in the next hour.

Gun and Goo are surprisingly helpful to have around to help keep some of the others in line. And it's not like they really have any mommy issues and they can be respectful.

Peace doesn't last though. They have a short fuse, and will use ANY excuse to fight each other. Jake and Samuel throwing punches is one thing. But you worry about Gun and Goo literally blowing up the house to spite each other.

Of course this is when DG decides to speak up and egg them on.

BONUS - Seo Haesu is the stray scruffy kid that seems to always be hanging around outside. You disapprove of his dirty clothes, his overgrown bangs (No, Eli. No scissors!), and feel bad for how he's constantly hungry. You offer him free meals and somewhere to sleep.

He's wary af as first. Uses the excuse that he wants to suss you out to hang around.

Would get on well with Zack, Goo and Jake. 'Well' might be an exaggeration, but these 3 have teasing big brother vibes. Their lively ways would help to draw Haesu out of his shell... or he might strangle them.

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kaaaaaaarf · 10 months

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fic recs!!!!!!!!!! fic recs!!!!!

my unashamedly smutty fic rec is one i forget the name of where i think it’s 7th year watford and simon walks in on baz with a dildo up his arse and then (blushes for an eternity, obviously and then) asks baz to show him about it and it escalates and by the end they’re in love 😍

hahah why hello there anon!!! What an entrance. Welcome to the blog.

You know, I think I have read that fic!! I also can't remember the name of it but 🥵

For you and all the people I have co-opted into reading these books, I will list some of my favourite Snowbaz fics...this is by no means a complete list, but I think about these all the time and have the epubs saved.

Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias - this is a post-Carry On canon divergent fic and it is EVERYTHING. [Simon has never forgiven Baz for ruining his life at the start of eighth year. He’d hoped never to see Baz again. Ever. But when Baz applies for a position on the Coven, it’s impossible not to hire him. So – now, they’re working together. And as much as Simon wants to continue hating Baz, the dead spots between them are starting to heal …]

This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart - BAND AU! BAND AU! After the fall of the Watford Goats, the two stars get back together to re-record their last album, but they haven't spoken in 10 years...takes place in Austin, TX. I love it. I think about it twice a week.

The Mirrors That Hold Us by @artsyunderstudy - My favourite Simon Snow fic. Honestly anything that Ashton writes is fucking amazing, but this one is Carry On divergent and broke my heart and then put it back together. They are also writing Someone Wicked at the moment and it is SO GOOD. Recommend everything they do.

Rebel Rebel by BasicBathsheba - The rebelverse series is everything to me. It tells the story of what happened in the early years at Watford and then is canon divergent. Sequel Golden Years is just as amazing. For Marauders fans, it's sort of like the ATYD of the Simon Snow series. Sort of.

Hang The Moon by @captain-aralias - Arranged marriage! There is also a sequel. [when the Old Families offer the Mage a deal that will put an end to their conflict, he accepts. Simon hates everything about the deal. (And his life. And he definitely hates Baz.) He’s only going along with his part in it because he’s the Mage’s Heir and he has to. There definitely aren’t any other reasons.]

network connectivity problems by BasicBathsheba - TEXTING FIC! Simon texts a number he thinks is IT. It is not.

Local Hero by BasicBathsheba & breadofgod - football (soccer) au! Baz is a world famous footy star, Simon runs the fan pub in his home town and is his biggest fan. Baz is suddenly back in town, trying to keep a low profile. Enemies (sort of) to Lovers. READ IT.

We Still Bloom by @artsyunderstudy - I couldn't post this list without including this absolutely perfect Hanahaki disease fic!! The art for this is absolutely stunning (as is all the art for Ashton's fics).

Slings and Eros by palmimpressed - This is a WIP but it's so good. It's a loose interpretation of the Eros and Psyche myth.

Unintended by @captain-aralias - Fake relationship trope! They are just best friends pretending to be engaged and are definitely not in love with each other....

Four Funereal Weddings and An American Stag Do by @captain-aralias - AWTWB au. Simon walks out in chapter 10 and doesn't come back. Nine months later, Baz sees him at a wedding. Another one that breaks my heart and puts it together again.

Large Black Coffee by BasicBathsheba - Coffee shop au. Every day Baz comes in to get coffee, and every day he finds a new insult on his cup.

Let My Love Open The Door by tbazzsnow - This is a quarantine fic, but please don't let that deter you. It's so lovely. Baz is a teacher stuck at home, Simon is the delivery driver from the local pub he orders from. They become friends and then some, all through the door of Baz's house.

Paperback Writer by BasicBathsheba - Publishing au! If you haven't figured it out yet, this author never misses. Baz is a junior editor, Simon is an author. [Sir Scone is the bane of Baz’s life. Trite children’s fantasy with a golden hero and ferocious dragons and intrepid princesses. They’re wildly popular, and Baz hates editing them almost as much as he hates the man who writes them: Simon Salisbury, Mage’s pet project author, and also maybe, possibly, the most handsome man Baz has ever met.]

Bite Me by TheWeatherBee - [When Simon’s magic makes a spell out of “bite me” during a fight, Baz finds he can’t eat anything until he’s bitten Simon. Which he won’t do. No matter how much Simon wants him to.] Hot.

5 Days, 5 Nights, All-Inclusive by RooBadly - [Simon Snow (29, single, and working for the Coven) finds himself press-ganged into covering for the usual guide on the Coven's yearly tour of magickal Britain. All he has to do is read from the cards and make sure the same number of mages gets back on the coach as got off. Doable. Until he sees the guest list. And then it's time to sow some chaos.]

This Must Be The Place by BasicBathsheba - This one made me cry, what of it. [Simon is stuck in juvenile care over the summer. He's lonely, disillusioned, and desperate to talk to Penny. But when he makes a Snapchat to try to contact her, he ends up talking to the most unlikely person.]

#simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #carry on #fic recs #ask me #hey anonny nonny

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crying-fantasies · 3 months

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Loved your Prowl/Constructicons/reader thing you wrote earlier!

I'm especially intrigued by the way you write from Devastator's perspective and about the gestalt psyche as a whole, any headcanons about that? (no pressure!)

Thank you for your kind words!

Well, it's mostly based on what happened in RID and the combiners wars, where, from time to time, you can see mainly the thoughts of the center of the combiner and the thoughts of the very combiner in between, a psyche born from every component, and it was just so cool to me, because in the way it acts and how it talks you know who is inside, of course, it changes between the gestalt's own team.

I remember, back with G1, every component needed to have a personality component, as in their own "me" had to be hard enough to not get lost inside or something like that, and if that didn't happen the combiner would be weak, and sometimes I link that "me" with the idea of "what I want to do" in order to form a combiner.

If there is consensus over at least one thing, a combiner can happen, or you use the Enigma of Combination and create one by force, whatever goes your way, really, but in the second scenario you must see if it can stay together because launching together 3 or more bots can result in all of them going their way without a real objective and simply fall apart.

Defensor, for example, can transform since all the protectobots share a single ideology: "I must protect my people and I must protect the defenseless humans", because we've already seen how this specific combiner treats humans as they were his kids, that comes from Streetwise, maybe a little bit of First Aid is what handles the main idea since Defensor is also know for having medical knowledge to some point, the part were he stops to think before going full rage? That's Hot Spot alright, but that fury when the innocent is in danger's way? That's Blades, the part that tries to calm the wounded? That's Groove, they aren't exactly close to one another, but sharing a similar, if not exact, objective in mind is what makes Defensor, but their differences show in how they can't keep their force shield together for more than a few seconds.

Devastator, it's been said time and time again how the constructicons all share one thing, rage, anger, be it against the autobots or whatever, their rage is what forms the most iconic combiner of all times, but it isn't perfect, in almost every continuity Devastator is an amalgam of different mechs that didn't want anything to do with one another (like, majority of all the decepticon gestalt teams) but by Megatron's order it must happen because it just must, hence you have a strong as fuck combiner, but that's it, there is no great procedure and the constructicons have been burned from this, in the early comics you motive how Mixmaster wasn't as crazy as be ended up for example and Scavenger's anxiety is also more notorious, Bonecrusher is mad all the time like Long Haul and Hook is way more fixated on making everything perfect, they're all mad at something, just look at Scrapper, who wanted to be away fromt them for a moment, and what happened to him, most irregular components merged together must remain together to be sane since now they are tainted with one another and it can cause insanity.

Now, Devastator with Prowl, finally there is no only anger in their shared mind, there is options, thousand upon thousands of options than the whole team has ever seen, than what Devastator even had the processor to even imagine, and Prowl gives him something that he never had before: the idea of freedom, and they all love it because Prowl is a mad, gray freedom that they would die for to be real.

Then we have perfect child, perfect team and perfect combiner: Superion, whose whole gestalt team is in synchrony by force, because it's Superion himself that put his components in mute an goes on his way, using the shared idea of destroying the decepticons of his components to keep going and not falling apart, but this is a bad movement, since there is no center there is no bond, no talk, and Superion struggles to even talk or do something as simple as moving something if it isn't related to eliminate the decepticons.

Now, if we put in something they want, or at least one of the components want, you may catch the interest of the others or the combiner itself, as it happens with Prowl, the constructicons and Devastator, because they share it, and depending from how they take it you have a different result, and since the constructicons are awful and insane Prowl's little human conjunx is also theirs to some degree now, so, somehow in their beaten psyches, Chainbreaker is also theirs.

Devastator hasn't been formed since it's time of great peace (freaking finally) but he'll also go along the lines of "if he is yours then he is mine, since you're a part of me" kind of thing if he sees Chainbreaker, more prepared when all his components know about Prowl's progeny, not like with reader when he was hit with the revelation during the bond, and just for the record, the son of a glitch that asked you out was Bonecrusher.

#reader insert #x reader #tf mtmte #transformers #transformers x reader #transformers idw #transformers x human reader #tf prowl #constructicons #constructiprowl #prowlstator #q&a time

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fanficwriters-posts · 3 months

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Hiro hamada x spiderman! Reader

Nobody knew reader was spiderman until reader swoops in, in their spidersuit, and saves the main 6 from a villian they couldn't beat. But ends up getting super hurt and having to take their mask off.

That sounds interesting and inspiring! 😃

Hiro Hamada x Spiderman!reader

It was like any other day in a normal human life. I got out of bed, take a quick shower, brush my teeth, pick out my clothes, put on the clothes, grab my necessary items for school and my homework, go downstairs, eat my breakfast my mother prepared for me, kiss my parents' cheeks before i leave to go to Hiro's place.

I do it every single day, it's just the same routine. Until one day...

There was a school field trip to this campus in New York City and mostly it was because Professor Granville didn't want any of us to slack off while she's away so she decided to bring us with her and make us learn about Alchemax with Doctor Octavius being our tour guide.

I got a little bored and was sidetracked with this spider that has a 42 number on its back. I was sorta staring for a few seconds until Doctor Octavius caught my attention away from it and lead us into another room. I didn't even realize the spider escaped its closure. Not did i felt it crawling up my pants and to my hand.

When Doctor Octavius introduced us to one of their latest inventions, i was amazed and wanted to take a picture. That's when i saw the spider. It bit me and i nearly drop my phone from shock. I grab it from the back of my hand and i put it on a table so no one will notice.

Hiro came over to me, i think he saw me when the spider bit my hand. He checked to see what was wrong and I just told him that my hands were just shaking from excitement. He found that amusing and grab my good hand to bring me back to the rest of the group.

Thankfully, that was the end of the tour and we all got home. Me? I was sweating the whole way back so i went straight to my home. A lot of things happened.

I ran really fast like i don't usually do, I can jump really high, i can hear almost everything that's going on, I can even stick to anything. Walls, metal poles, etc. But what made me so shocked is that i can shoot spiderwebs from my wrists. I found that out when i put down my backpack and try to reach for the bathroom.

I decided to experiment on myself and turns out, i have super-strength. I've seen these in the Spider-Man comic books and i didn't think it would happen to me, too. I was so psyched about it but... i didn't tell any of my friends. I was scared that they might report this to professor Granville and have me change back to normal.

But, i wanted to be a hero. Like those Big Hero 6 guys. So, i trained myself in this old, abandoned factory that i can use as my training arena. Of course, i had to put everything together first before i can start.

I've been training myself for 3 months just so i can do everything perfect. Somehow, in the process, i didn't realize that i got myself sorta fit and tough. I even cut my hair a little shorter.

Once i know i'm ready, i started designing my suit while watching the news about the Big Hero 6. Sometimes, i write down the villains and their powers in my notebook that i keep to myself.

And if you're wondering, what about school? Yes, i still go to school and everything went on smoothly. Though, sometimes they ask during the first week about why i'm so happy but i just tell them that the Alchemax field trip made a whole new perspective in my life.

I did everything i could to keep my secret from everyone and it works so well. And now, i'm a new superhero of San Fransokyo. (Hero name)! Heck yeah! I saved a bunch of people, get interviewed by the press, even got my own superhero action figure. Everything went smoothly on my side but with all the homework that started piling up, i couldn't keep up and let everything to the Big Hero 6.

I wasn't aware of what the villains were up to behind my back.

Present time

I'm in Hiro's lab doing my homework per usual but this time he wasn't here or Baymax. I called him and he said he had to help around in the cafe with Baymax before he gets here. I just said, "Take your time." And "Love you." Before we hung up.

When i set down my pen, a notification appear on the screen of my phone while i was watching (Favorite Cartoon Series) and i press it.

"This just in, a group of robot has attacked downtown and with Big Hero 6 on the job- Wait, sorry." The news reporter spoke before he press the earpiece he has on. "Oh! It looks like the Big Hero 6 are down. Take it away, Carol." The screen switches to another news reporter and she's in a helicopter.

"Thank you, Bluff Dunder." Carol said to the microphone in her hand. "It seems like our heroes have been outnumbered by unknown robots and can't seem to find a way out of the corner. Our former lovable mascot, Noodle Burger Boy have gathered robot mascots from all around fast food restaurants into villainy. If only (Hero name) was here to aid them in their battle."

I couldn't believe my ears and immediately i texted Hiro that i needed to get home because my parents called me and change into my spider suit. I grab my things and my clothes into my backpack before i swing out of the campus and drop off my bag at my bedroom window.

I head straight to downtown and... Oh yeah! I can go camouflage mode but right now is not the best time to use it because these are robots we're fighting. They might have heat-signature visions, but it wouldn't hurt to try it out. I landed on the rooftop above the Big Hero 6 and i went camouflage mode as i slowly crawl down the building over the heroes and robots.

"There's no way of escaping, heroes! Give it up!" Noodle Burger Boy exclaims with this girl robot beside him and Hyper-Potamus on the other. There were a few other robots i've never seen before.

"What do you want with us, Noodle Burger Boy?" The guy in purple ask the robot, standing in front of his team.

"The whereabouts of the new superhero, (Hero name)." Noodle Burger Boy replied before the robot girl beside him speak up, "She can be of use as our ally."

"What? No way! She will never side with you! She doesn't even side with us! Because we never ask." Another hero spoke but he's wearing a blue monster suit.

"Then tell us where she is. 'Cause we'll make her." Noodle Burger Boy tells them before the rest of the robots got into stances, ready to attack.

"That's my cue." I muttered before i un-camouflaged myself and jump down between them.

"You wanted to see me, Noodle Burger Boy?" I ask him, my voice high and mighty.

"Oh! There she is!" Noodle Burger Boy tells his group of robots, clapping with joy.

"(Hero name), what are you doing here?" The guy in purple asks me, walking up to me. I look back to him and stop him.

"Stay back. This is gonna get a little ugly... For me." I tell him, my voice slightly deepen.

I turn back to the evil robots and i shot my web at one of them, swinging them to the others before i leap up and attack the rest. They fought back and of course, a hero such as myself cannot take on this many but i try to.

I took the fight elsewhere so that no one would get hurt, using my spiderwebs to swing me and let them chase after me. I landed on a dock and turn around to face them. Finally realizing how many there are.

"Oh, boy." I whisper in shock. They're made out of metal, i should've thought this through.

"No where left to run, (Hero name)!" The girl robot exclaim with a menacing grin before she shoots multiple rockets at my way.

I gasped and dodged it as my spider sense went off. I thought i was save for a couple of minutes until the robot, which i think is Crushroom, punched me so hard that it send me into a side of a boat.

I groaned and got myself out before i stick my feet and hand on the wall of a building. "Okay, this is a bit unfair, don't you think? I mean, there's literally some of you but you're made out of metal and i'm made out of flesh, myself."

I hear the Big Hero 6 coming from my right and i look up. When my eyes landed on the guy in purple, i feel a bit of familiarity to him. Like i knew him from somewhere. Obviously, behind that orange glass shield he has black hair but his face... Somehow...

And it's not right to be deep in thought when you're being chased by a bunch of robots is not highly recommended. My spider sense went off but i didn't have time to react before i was shot off of the wall and fall to the ground. I fell! A great 6 ft from the building and i think i got scratches on my suit because i was not full conscious.

I got up from the ground and i pant heavily from the great impact. I look up to the rest of the robots and i use this advantage to shoot my spiderwebs at their faces to blind their sights. The Big Hero 6 took care of them as soon as they arrived and i had to leave the scene but my limbs were aching with pain. And they're killing me!

Don't blame me. This is my first time getting actually hurt during a mission.

I hear the big red robot land behind me and help me stand up. "Are you alright, (Hero name)?" The robot asks, his voice calming.

"Yeah. I put my guard down for a second and they just shoot me." I replied, holding my side. I look up to the rest of the team and i think a quarter of my mask was torn.

"What were you thinking taking those crazy robots on your own?! You could've died!" The big guy in green exclaimed at me with worry.

"Not to mention putting your life at risk just to save ours." A girl in pink with long blond hair spoke softly.

"Super cool! But dangerous. But SUPER AWESOME!" The guy in blue yell with excitement.

"You could've asked us to help you." The guy in purple steps up, his height same as mine but i was sorta bend down from the pain.

"Yeah. I just... You guys were already in trouble. I just wanted to give you guys a break." I tell them.

I grunt in pain as my side aches even more and i nearly fall forward but the guy in purple caught me before i hit the ground.

"My boyfriend will not like this at all." I muttered under my breath as i let him support me.

"Your body cannot take anymore muscle use and you have a cut on your face. In order for me to heal you, you must take off your mask." The giant red robot said before he approaches me.

My eyes widen and i hold out my hand. "No, no, no! The hospital is fine! You don't have to heal me." I say quickly, holding the guy in purple's shoulder.

"Oh, come on. You can hardly stand up by yourself, let alone swing back to the hospital." Said the girl in yellow.

I groan in defeat and look up to them. "I know where you can heal me, but, you have to promise to keep it a secret." I tell them.

All six of them agreed and took me to my training arena because i have first aid kit and a bed there. Not plain. I decorated them so that it doesn't look so bland.

The red robot lay me down on the bed while the others look around at the training place i build.

"You built this place yourself?" The girl in yellow asks, standing in front of one of my deadly obstacles.

"I like to challenge myself and make it a whole lot more interesting." I replied to her as the robot place a pillow behind my head.

"Huh." She muttered. "Awesome."

"Alright. Let's take off this mask of yours." The robot said. I sigh heavily.

"It's a big no-no. But from one hero to another, i guess." I say to him before i take off my mask and set it aside.

"(Name)?!"

I was startled by the sound of my name and i look up to the guy in purple with wide eyes. "Y-you know me?" I ask him nervously.

He walk towards me and take off his helmet. My eyes widen even more and i stare at him in shock. "Hiro?!" I exclaim in surprise.

The two of us stare at each other for a solid 5 minutes while the red robot heal the wounds on my body.

The rest of the BH6 came and take off their helmets which made my heart nearly jump out of my chest. I look at each of them before i look up to Hiro again.

"Wait, wait! You lied to me about help Aunt Cass?" I tell him, going to sit up but he held my shoulder and keep me down.

"Y-you lied to me about hanging out with this whole new group of friends when it turns out you were here! Training yourself!" Hiro said back.

I frown a little and look down to my lap. "I..." I sighed heavily and lay down on the bed. "I didn't want to tell you because i was afraid that you guys might tell Professor Granville and that she might take me back to Alchemax and make my powers disappear."

Hiro sit down on the edge of the bed beside me and he hold my hand. "So, this whole time you lied just so you can be a hero?"

"In my defense," I quickly said. "You guys inspired me to become one. I thought that with this power, i might be able to help but i just didn't have the guts to say anything, yet."

Hiro frown at that and he brush my hair out of my face. "And yet, here you are, laying on your bed with Baymax healing your wounds."

"I'm sorry for not telling you. For not telling any of you." I apologized, looking up to them with sincerity. "I know i'm supposed to trust you with this but..."

"Hey, don't worry about it, (Name). I mean, we hid all this from you. We should be the ones to apologize for not telling you that we're heroes." Honey Lemon speak up, walking towards me with a warm smile.

"We could've told you but someone didn't want to because he didn't want to risk your life." Fred steps in, looking at me with a smile.

I look up to Hiro from him and he just look away sheepishly with a blush across his face. I chuckled and i hold his hand. "Aww, really? That's so thoughtful of you!"

He smiled back as he turn his head back to me and he lean down and peck my forehead. "If any of them knew that you were connected to us, i wouldn't know what i would do if something happens to you, (Name)."

"You're my boyfriend, Hiro. You have all the right to be worried but you have to trust me with protecting myself. I can handle anything." I tell him to reassure him, my smile never falter.

Hiro chuckled and nod his head. "You're right. I should've told you and i should've listened to my friends, too."

"I told you she'd be cool about it." Fred tells them which made us all chuckle.

And let's just say that from now own, we tell each other everything and we help each other. I'm not part of the BH6 but i still help around. Hiro and i's relationship became stronger also mine with our friends.

With great power, come great responsibility. And that responsibility is protecting everyone i love and this city.

#big hero 6 #hiro hamada x reader #hiro hamada #bh6 wasabi #bh6 honey lemon #bh6 gogo #bh6 fred #across the spiderverse #spiderman #x reader

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withacapitalp · 1 year

Text

Tell Him (Nothing) Everything Pt 3

Part One Part Two Link to Ao3

Chapter Three: Three Reunions

“Oh, I’m in so much trouble. I need some help, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to go to. So here I am to bug you again. Congratulations, you get to listen to my problems. Again. Too bad you can’t even stop me!”

Silence. Nothing but silence. There wasn’t even the sound of birds.

“I brought you flowers. Violets and white roses. I went to that florist you really liked. I actually know the people that own it now. Well, Steve knows them. Apparently one of their kids is friends with his little brother so he got me a hookup. I didn’t tell him why I needed the flowers, but I think it was okay. He’s good at not asking. It’s nice.”

Eddie could write a song about this. The quiet, the silence that was both freeing and confining. The way the violets and roses were held together with a soft blue ribbon that matched her eyes.

It wouldn’t be like any other song he wrote, but that was good. A song for Chrissy was going to have to be special, maybe the most important one he ever sang.

“I haven’t told you about him. Steve. He lives here in Hawkins, if you can believe that I fell for a small town hick. That’s a joke, and it’s not really that nice. I shouldn’t say that. He’s not a hick. He’s actually really sweet, and thoughtful, and funny, and… He owns a cafe in the middle of town called Claudia’s. I bet you went there when we came home to visit, it’s totally your kind of place. Maybe you even knew him. He’s only a few years younger than us, so you might’ve been in school together or something. You were the Prom Queen, and he was apparently a big time jock. I hope you guys never kissed or anything, that would be so weird.”

The good thing about going to the cemetery early in the morning was that it was always empty. Eddie was the only person there, so he could sit with his back against Chrissy’s headstone and babble freely without any worries of who might be listening in.

“I really like him, Chris. Like actually really like him, not just really like him because he’s giving me attention and I’m lonely.”

That was the thing she always worried about. She was viciously protective of Eddie, and she approached every one of his potential partners with high scrutiny over their intentions.

If only he had done the same.

The band even had a joke about it. No one Eddie ever went out with got the ‘Chrissy Stamp of Approval’. None of the dozens of men and women who wanted her best friend were good enough for him in her eyes.

Steve would’ve passed her test. Eddie was sure of it.

“You know that thing you always told me? About how I was going to find someone who just made things easy? I think I finally did. I’ve been so tired since… since everything, and when I’m with him I’m not tired. I’m- I’m happy. I don’t know if I deserve that. Actually, I know I don’t deserve it, but I am happy. Really happy, Chrissy, which isn’t fair, but it is true.”

Chrissy would have hated to hear him say that. She never liked when he put himself down. But without her around to check him on that, Eddie’s mind had no reason to stay away from the dark thoughts that lingered on the edges of his psyche.

“He’s just so kind. He always has time for me, even when things are busy. And he never pushes, even when I can tell he wants to. He’s raising his little brother, who is a huge fan by the way, and he takes care of this entire horde of kids that Dustin is friends with. I’ve never met any of them, but I can just tell they love him as much as he loves them.”

Eddie could tell by the hand drawn cards that littered the back wall of Claudia’s and the endless photo albums that Steve had on his phone. He could see it in the soft smile Steve wore any time he spoke about any of the kids, and the way he always saved extras of their favorite treats.

Normally, Eddie was terrified of people with children, petrified by the thought of fucking someone up like his parents had fucked him up. Wayne had healed most of those wounds, but ultimately Eddie had still sworn that he would never have any kids. He even got a vasectomy when he was 19 just to be a hundred percent sure that there would never be an accident.

Now all he wanted to do was meet Steve’s kids and do a solo show, just to rock their socks off.

“I can practically hear you in my head. ‘Why not just ask him out already then, Munson?’ Well, he doesn’t know me. I mean he knows me, but he doesn’t know that I’m ‘The Eddie Munson.’”

He could practically hear her groaning, begging him to come down from his inflated ego trip and realize that he was the same as any other person.

“I’m not the same as any other person though, Chris. You know what it’s like. Anyone who dates me gets put through the ringer. The paparazzi, the fans, the gossip rags, the YouTube channels, the Instagram stalkers. Steve’s life is so- small isn’t nice to say, but that’s what it is! He has this good little life that he’s carved out for himself and his brother in this small town world, and dating me would implode that. And it’s not like I can just walk away forever. I’m going to have to go back eventually. The band needs me, and the fans need me, and…and I don’t know who I am anymore if I’m not ‘The Eddie Munson’.”

He was someone Steve liked, he knew that much. They had been flirting pretty much the entire time but since his mini-freakout in the cafe, it had taken on a much more serious air, and their casual touches were starting to linger.

One of them was going to make a move soon, and Eddie needed to figure out what he wanted before that.

Well, not what he wanted. He knew what he wanted. He just didn’t know if that was the best option.

“I wish you were here. You’d know what to do…”

But she wasn’t. Chrissy wasn’t here. She was in the feeling of strumming a guitar, the sound of rain outside, the smell of Steve’s baking. Chrissy lived in a thousand different ways, she just wasn’t here anymore, and the closest Eddie could get to talking with her was sitting by her grave and talking to the air.

In other words, he couldn’t talk to her at all.

“I have to tell him first. I’ll tell him everything, and then I’ll let him decide if he still wants me. Today’s a good day for it anyway, right? It was supposed to be a special day. Now it’s just special for a different reason.”

With that Eddie stood up, stretching and rubbing at the spots that had gotten locked up from sitting on the ground too long. He put the flowers down where he had just been sitting and lighty ran his fingers over the top of her white marble headstone, reading the same inscription he had read a thousand different times.

Christiana “Chrissy” Cunningham

December 25th 1996- February 14th 2022

“And we wept that one so lovely should have a life so brief.”

Wayne had helped him pick it out. He was the one who suggested burying her here in the first place. Chrissy hadn’t had any family left but him and Wayne, and no one would ever look here to disturb her. They had a private funeral and everything, only the two of them and the rest of the band. Not another living soul knew where she was buried, and Eddie wanted to keep it that way.

After everything, Chrissy deserved a place to rest where no one would ever hurt her again.

Well, he wanted just one more person to know.

“When Steve knows everything, I’ll bring him here. Then you can give him your ‘Stamp of Approval’.” Eddie whispered, a soft smile flickering across his face as an unexpected gust of wind pressed against his back.

He didn’t believe in God, or the Devil, or any of the things the world tried to push, but he did believe in Chrissy. She lived, even if she wasn’t here, and when he was able to look past his own grief, he knew she wanted him to live too.

“Happy Not the Start of Tour Day,” Eddie called back towards her grave as he walked away. He was starving and only a certain man’s beignets would be enough to fill his belly right now.

And, like Eddie had called upon the God of Beignets himself, Steve was walking towards him just a few rows away, carrying a pink Claudia’s box. The naive part of Eddie was focusing on how cute Steve looked this morning, but the rest of him was instantly on guard.

How did Steve know he was here?

“I didn’t know you did deliveries,” Eddie called after he had strategically walked about a dozen gravestones away from Chrissy. Just minutes ago he had wanted to show Steve where she was, but now every red flag he had was lighting up.

Steve looked up when he heard Eddie’s voice, furrowing his brow and quirking his head to the side.

“Eddie?”

If he was putting on an act, then he was doing a very good job of being completely confused as to why Eddie was in the cemetery too.

“In the flesh,” Eddie said coolly, jamming his hands into his pockets and inching a little bit closer, still keeping a safe distance away. He had put his trust in Steve so far, but maybe that was a mistake. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Steve echoed, staying right where he was.

“I asked you first,” Eddie challenged.

“I’m uh, visiting someone,” Steve said after a hesitant pause, playing with the twine bow on the top of the box.

The hesitation was another red flag, but Steve’s body language was the thing that really set Eddie on edge. His shoulders were hunched, and it looked like he was trying to make himself small enough to disappear. Worst of all, his eyes were downcast, which meant Eddie couldn’t get a read on them.

Steve was an open book, but only when Eddie could actually see that book well enough to read it. Currently he could only get half the story, but it wasn’t a good half.

“I would hope you’re here to see someone. The only other explanation is that you’re stalking me,” Eddie said bluntly. There were only a few things to do with stalkers: Ignore them, which was a bad plan; Get a restraining order, which was a bad plan; Confront them, which was a bad plan.

There were only bad plans in this scenario and anxiety was starting to press down on Eddie’s chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Because you’re someone people are always stalking,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes. The casual bitchiness that Eddie usually loved was now a threat, and he bristled at the comment. By his count, Eddie had gone through at least twenty three stalkers, and those were just the ones that had been serious enough to merit intervention. He had no idea how many people were actually stalking him at any given time.

And if Steve was number twenty four, then Eddie might really just stop trusting people all together.

“Seriously, why are you here?” Eddie asked, trying his best to stay calm.

“Dustin had food poisoning yesterday, so we couldn’t come see her. I asked Heather to look after the store for me while I came to bring these. I don’t really like coming here, but Dustin is adamant that a sweet tooth is eternal, so we have to bring her treats,” Steve explained, holding up the box with an affectionate roll of his eyes.

That sealed the deal. It wasn’t often that Chrissy got on camera or took the spotlight, but she had been a frequent face on Eddie’s instagram, usually for food pics when they went out. He even had a story that was called ‘Chrissy’s Confectionaries’ just for all the candids he had of every dessert they had shared.

But how did they find her? How did they know she was here?

This was supposed to be a safe resting place. It was supposed to be sacred. Now it was destroyed the way everything was. There was nothing secret, nothing that didn’t belong to the world. This was supposed to be the one special place no one would ever bother her again.

“How do you find out where Chrissy is?!” Eddie demanded, stomping over and getting right in Steve’s face. Steve was pretty, and Eddie thought he was nice, but this was an absolute violation of trust and privacy, and he would not let Steve think it was okay just because his little brother wanted to do it.

If he even had a brother.

“Chrissy? Who’s- Eddie I…I’m here to visit my mom,” Steve stuttered out, grief coating every word in sticky black tar. He stepped back, clutching the box close to his chest with one hand and gesturing down to the headstone between them with the other.

It was a solid granite headstone, a soft red that stood out in the early morning sun. There were yellow tulips planted on either side of it along with a bunch of rocks, a few metal angels, and some tiny cat figurines sitting on the ledge. It was the words that caught Eddie’s eye though.

Claudia Marie Honore Henderson

November 11th 1979 - October 28th 2019

If pies were books,

Yours would be Shakespeare’s letters.

Eddie read it once, then twice, then a third time.

Still there. This was still real.

“Wow,” Eddie whispered, blowing out a harsh breath before letting out one incredulous laugh and pushing his hair away from his face. “I am a complete and total douchebag.”

A small smile broke through the hurt expression on Steve’s face and he gently nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s with silent forgiveness.

“Not complete and total, but I’ll give you two douchebag points,” Steve joked, lowering himself down to kneel on the grass in front of Claudia’s grave and patting the spot next to him, “You can share these with me to make it up.”

Eddie sat down quickly, crossing his legs so they wouldn’t bounce and looking at her grave again. There was nothing on Chrissy’s but the flowers he brought with him. Before, Eddie had thought it was kind of classy. The smooth blank white marble with nothing but the words he and Wayne had chosen.

Now it felt almost barren, empty, missing the homey touches that Claudia’s grave had. Claudia’s showed how well loved she was, personal things that still made her real. Chrissy’s was just empty.

“Not pie?” Eddie asked as Steve untied the string and opened the box to reveal three tiny brown cakes with dollops of whipped cream and drizzles of caramel sauce on top.

“She chose that quote, not me,” Steve replied, handing Eddie a napkin and a cake. He chose one for himself and put the last one in between the angels and the cat figurines.

Eddie bit into the dessert, automatically closing his eyes and savoring the flavor. It was spicy and sweet, ginger and brown sugar colliding on his tongue in an explosion of deliciousness. The caramel stuck to his lips, messy and oh so good.

It would be his favorite thing yet if Steve didn’t look so miserable.

“I never make pies anymore,” Steve murmured, not touching his own cake. He was staring off somewhere in the distance, lost where Eddie couldn’t seem to reach him. “They just don’t taste the same.”

Eddie knew that feeling. He had it every time he picked up a guitar now. He could play a song perfectly, hit every note at the exact moment he was supposed to, but it didn’t sound the way it should. Music was almost hollow now, a missing element that he couldn’t find no matter how much he practiced.

He briefly considered telling Steve, empathizing with the loss, sharing the secrets that were weighing him down.

“Henderson?” He asked instead, hoping that changing the subject would draw them both away from their thoughts.

“That’s um,” Steve trailed off, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and staring down at his lap. Eddie’s heart ached for him and he briefly hated himself for the foot that had apparently taken up a permanent residence in his mouth.

“Steve, you don’t have to tell me anything, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay, I want you to know.” Steve said softly, cutting Eddie off. He still didn’t look up, but some of the tension in his shoulders faded. “It’s a really long story though, so maybe another time?”

“Whenever you want,” Eddie offered, taking the leap and reaching over to take Steve’s hand. Steve looked up with glossy eyes, squeezing his fingers and brushing his thumb against the side of Eddie’s hand.

“And Chrissy?” Steve asked hesitantly.

Eddie could tell him. They could sit here for the whole morning talking back and forth, sharing those long stories. He had planned to tell Steve the truth today anyway. Now was the perfect time. He just had to open his mouth and start.

“Also a really long story,” Eddie sighed, mentally screaming at himself.

He was such a coward sometimes.

“Whenever you want,” Steve echoed, bringing their joined hands up and kissing the back of Eddie’s hand. It was a bold move, the boldest either of them had gotten so far, but it only cemented what they both already knew. Whatever was going on between them was more than just friendship, for both sides.

Eddie could pull away now, and maybe that would even be the smart thing to do. In the long run, they would both only get hurt by this, so maybe he should just stop it right here and now.

Instead, he scooted over so they were sitting leaned against each other, putting their hands in his lap and tapping a melody on Steve’s arm as he finally picked up his cake and began eating it.

Steve apparently didn’t talk to Claudia like Eddie talked to Chrissy. He just sat with his eyes shut, taking the moment to breathe deep and be present. Normally, Eddie hated silence, needing to fill it with music or words or just about anything, but this was peaceful, nice even. The sunshine that Chrissy now lived in kept them warm, and the breeze that held her spirit brushed past them, and Eddie could just hold the moment instead of needing to understand it.

He wasn’t sitting by her but he was close enough, and he had Steve, so things were okay.

“Let’s go back to the cafe, huh?” Steve said after a while, gently butting his head against Eddie’s. “I’ll make you a coffee.”

“I want a decaf nonfat white mocha with extra caramel chunks and oatmilk,” Eddie joked. Steve groaned, standing up and holding out a hand.

Every day there were at least three or four people that came in with absolutely ridiculous coffee orders, and every day Steve and Eddie would try and decide what the most outlandish one was. Eddie tried to get Steve to be grateful, because LA had about thirty or forty thousand people who had orders like that, but Steve always just gave him the stink eye and said that no one should be asking him for oatmilk in Hawkins, Indiana.

Sure, he had it, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Bye Claudia,” Steve said as they straightened up, “Me and Dustin are being safe. I promise.”

“Don’t worry he’s got me to protect him. Well, me to call 911 if anything goes wrong,” Eddie amended, giving the headstone a two fingered salute. Steve laughed his first real laugh of the day, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he tugged Eddie away by their still connected hands.

They continued to hold hands for the entire walk from the cemetery to the cafe, chatting about nothing and everything in the way they always did. By the time they were turning the corner towards Claudia’s, both of them were extremely relaxed, free of any tension or stress that might have lingered if they went on their own.

“Hey! Eddie!”

Nevermind. Eddie was rigid as a board.

“Who’re they?” Steve asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked at the three men sitting at one of the tables in front of his cafe.

“No one,” Eddie blurted out, pulling his hand away from Steve’s and bouncing on his heels, filled to the brim with nervous energy, “On second thought I think I might skip coming today. And tomorrow. And maybe next week.”

“Eddie-”

Steve didn’t get a chance to say anything else before there was a body slamming directly into Eddie, the smell of Gareth’s cologne overwhelming his senses.

An unexpected hit of homesickness came right along with him and Eddie found himself holding onto Gareth in a death grip, burying his face in his oldest friend’s shoulder and shaking ever so slightly in his grip. Jeff and Frank quickly pushed themselves into the hug, and for the first time in months the part of Eddie’s heart that belonged to his bandmates quietly slotted back into its place.

“It’s been 84 years,” Gareth groaned after their way too long hug, holding onto Eddie’s upper arms and shaking him. “Never again man, never again. I can’t be stuck with these two sticks in the mud for that long. It’s been so boring.”

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asked for the second time that day, in much higher spirits than he had been the first time, “I told you guys not to try and find me.”

“Well maybe if you answered your phone every so often we wouldn’t have to go halfway across the country chasing you,” Jeff scolded lightly, Frank nodding sagely along with him.

“How did you even know where I was?” Eddie asked, wracking his brain. The answer immediately popped into his mind and Eddie’s eyes narrowed.

“Wayne,” He grumbled. Curse his big-hearted, too good, meddling, loving uncle.

“Eddie, we knew you would be here without him telling us,” Frank said with a roll of his eyes, “But when we dropped our stuff off at the house, he said to go to the bakery in town because the cute guy you’re obsessed with owns it.”

The other two broke into smirks, and all three turned to look at Steve with mischievous grins.

“I hate you guys,” Eddie said, blushing furiously and wishing that the ground would open up to swallow him whole.

“Obsessed, huh?” Steve said. His cheeks were dusted with a rosy rouge, but his eyes were locked onto Eddie’s, and he was wearing a very cute, very annoying, smug little smile.

“He is pretty cute,” Jeff said in mock appraisal.

“Cute enough to completely blow off a country wide-”

“Steve, these are my friends. Gareth, Jeff, and Frank,” Eddie said, cutting Gareth off before he could say anything else. “Guys, this is Steve, my…”

Eddie trailed off, unsure of how to end that sentence. Friend? Crush? Something more?

“Employer,” Steve decided for him, holding out his hand for the rest of the band to shake.

“Employer?!” Jeff practically shouted as Gareth took Stvee’s hand and began wrenching it up and down.

“You don’t pay me?” Eddie asked, just as stunned as the rest. Steve had just kissed his hand not even a full hour ago, and that was the word he chose to explain them?

Employer?!

“You sit in my cafe all day long eating and drinking for free. I think that I deserve at least a little manual labor in return,” Steve said in explanation, giving Eddie a full shit eating grin.

Oh. He was being messed with. Eddie snorted, holding back his laughter as he tried to give Steve a dirty look. Judging by the way Steve was slowly graduating to a full on beaming smile, he was failing pretty spectacularly.

“I am so confused,” Frank said from behind them. “Eddie, he does know that-”

“Well, Mr. Bossman,” Eddie quickly interjected, throwing his friends a look that told them to shut their mouths or face the consequences, “Would you pretty please feed my friends while we catch up a little bit?”

Steve, never one to do anything half-assed, brought out enough mini-quiches to feed an army, an entire tray of ginger cakes, and even some of Eddie’s favorite coconut cluster cookies. The rest of the band had apparently been traveling all night long, and they dug into the food with glee, praising Steve until the tips of his ears were red and he had to walk inside to ‘make coffee’ just to escape the flood of compliments.

The perfect time for Eddie to come clean.

“What do you guys think?” He asked, softly opening the question up to his best friends. They were the make or break now that Chrissy couldn’t be.

“He seems nice,” Frank said politely.

“He’s a great fucking cook,” Gareth said less politely, picking up the crumbs left on his plate. Jeff rolled his eyes and turned to Eddie.

“How long have you been dating?”

Great. They were jumping straight into the hard questions.

“We aren’t,” Eddie said slowly, making all three of them stop short and stare at him with increasingly incredulous looks.

“Well, I assumed the employer thing was a joke but now I have to ask,” Jeff said, sighing deeply before continuing, “Are you banging your boss?”

“No!” Eddie immediately shouted, shutting his mouth with a snap and shooting his gaze towards the inside of the cafe.

Steve was futzing around with something on the counter and either hadn’t heard Eddie’s shout or had ignored it, too used to Eddie’s tendency to be as loud as possible. The tip of his tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth as he carefully placed caramel drizzle on some concoction he was preparing.

God, he looked so fucking delectable. Now that the thought of banging was there, he couldn’t escape it. The thought of what that tongue might do-

No. Nope. Stop.

Eddie was so weak.

“We’re not- I don’t- it’s not like that,” He finished weakly, groaning and letting his head rest on the table in front of him.

“Have you asked him out?” Gareth asked.

Eddie shook his head, keeping his forehead still pressed down against the metal. A brief pause from above him as the band had a silent conversation, and Frank spoke in a very hesitant tone.

“Does he know?”

‘Does he know’ was such a blank statement. Does he know you have feelings? Eddie was pretty sure he did. Does he know that you watched your best friend die? No. Does he know why you’re in Hawkins? No.

But Eddie knew what they were asking.

Does he know that you are ‘The Eddie Munson’?

He shook his head again ever so slightly.

“He doesn’t know you’re a world famous rockstar?!” Gareth burst out. Eddie’s head flew back up and he gave Gareth a death glare.

“Keep your voice down!” He hissed, looking back in the cafe. Steve was still by the counter, now ringing up a little old lady, giving her a gentle smile as he handed over a pretty pink box.

“Does he live under a rock?” Frank asked, staring at Steve through the window like he was from another planet.

“Be less obvious,” Eddie complained, rubbing at his temples. “He doesn’t live under a rock. He lives in Hawkins fucking Indiana and he hates social media. Steve barely even uses his Instagram, and that’s only to look at pictures of his best friend who’s traveling the world right now as a guitar player on some lesbian cruise.”

Remembering all that truly was a testament to how much Eddie liked Steve. He had never laid eyes on Robin Buckley, but he already knew she was Steve’s other half; she co-owned the cafe, she spoke five languages, and she played four instruments- one of which was guitar, hence the whole ‘running away for three months to play guitar on a lesbian cruise’.

Chrissy would have adored her.

“You have to tell him, Eddie,” Jeff said softly, giving Eddie a look. “He can’t find out from tabloids or paparazzi or something. It’s a miracle no one’s recognized you yet.”

“I know. I know. I’ve tried,” Eddie said, slightly desperate. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling on the end of his curls. “I tried more than once, but every time it gets close I just-”

Tears pricked at the edges of his eyes, and the next breath he sucked in was unexpectedly shaky.

Fuck.

“If I tell him, then I have to tell him everything,” Eddie said, his voice breaking into a whisper halfway through, “and I can’t- I don’t know how-”

“That’s why we came here, even though we knew you didn’t want us,” Frank said, cutting off Eddie’s weak attempts at explaining himself.

“Because of Steve?” Eddie asked.

“Because of Chrissy,” Jeff clarified, making the lump in Eddie’s throat grow three times bigger. “Today was supposed to be the day.”

The day. The start of their big tour. The tour that was going to lead to a new album, that was going to get them that Grammy, that would put Corroded Coffin in the history books forever.

The tour that Eddie had completely screwed up.

“Guys… I’m sorry,” Eddie started, getting cut off by Jeff’s hand on his arm and Gareth shaking his head.

“Don’t start down that road, man. Once you let that monkey on your back, you’ll never get it off,” Frank said easily, spitting wisdom like it meant nothing to him. “She was your best friend.”

Best friend. What a stupid way to categorize Chrissy. Steve said Robin called him her platonic soulmate, which felt better, but not quite right. Steve just called Robin His Person. His Person, always in a way that you could physically feel the capitalization.

His Person.

Chrissy had been His Person.

“I can’t talk about her yet,” Eddie admitted quietly, feeling shame and smallness covering him like wings. “Hell, I can barely even say her fucking name.”

“You needed time. We were happy to give it to you,” Jeff said, pulling Eddie down off the cross he kept trying to nail himself to.

“But seriously, stop shutting us out. We miss her too,” Gareth tacked on, rubbing fruitlessly at his eyes. He had always been a sympathy crier, and even the hint of any of them breaking down sent him into tears. “We miss you, dude.”

Eddie had missed them too. He hadn’t realized it, but the entire time he had been in Hawkins, he had been looking for them. His bandmates had been with him since they were teens, all of them scared and unsure of the future, but so full of hope it hurt to look back and think about it. They had put their faith in him, and he put his trust in them, and they had made something amazing.

Something Eddie had pushed away the second he could, because he was so sure he didn’t deserve good things, so sure the universe would take them away anyway.

Maybe that was why he couldn’t tell Steve yet.

“And if you don’t lock this guy down, I’ll be missing his amazing goddamn quiches too,” Gareth said after they had all taken a second to cool down. He lifted the last one up and shoved it into his mouth in one bite, immediately coughing as he choked.

“Chrissy would want you to be happy, Eddie,” Jeff said softly as Frank pounded on Gareth’s back trying to dislodge the pastry. “If Steve is gonna make you happy, she would say go for it.”

“I know,” Eddie replied just as quietly. He had said the same thing to himself a dozen times, but hearing it from Jeff somehow made it even more real.

Speaking of Steve, he was walking over with a full tray of drinks.

“Alright I have one black coffee, one latte with a pump of hazelnut syrup and skim milk, and one iced matcha latte,” Steve rattled off as he put down drinks in front of Eddie’s bandmates. He paused after Jeff, giving Eddie a tricky little grin and putting down a colossal cup that was dripping whipped cream onto the saucer it was on.

“And for you, a decaf nonfat white mocha with extra caramel chunks and oatmilk,” Steve declared, both of them breaking into giggles at the sight of the monstrosity.

Just like that the weight that had been holding every single cell captive was gone, erased by the light that Steve brought with him everywhere he went.

“This is disgusting,” Eddie said after taking an experimental sip.

Steve slid into the open seat next to him, dipping his finger into the whipped cream and dabbing Eddie’s nose before licking it up. This led to an inevitable war of whipped cream till they were both sticky with caramel and laughing breathlessly, the rest of Corroded Coffin watching silently.

“Hey Steve,” Gareth said, catching the younger boy’s attention, “Wanna go on a date with Eddie tonight?”

It was like the very air stopped still.

“I’m sorry?” Steve asked, his voice raising up about five octaves. Eddie placed his palms flat on the table, giving his former best friend a triple layer death glare.

“Gareth!” Eddie hissed.

“You’re being a baby bitch about it,” He said, shrugging unapologetically and looking far too casual for the absolute chaos he was creating.

“Eddie thinks you're nice and hot,” Frank tacked on. Eddie let out what could only be described as a primal screech, mentally preparing to murder his bandmates right after Steve got up and ordered them all to leave his cafe and never return.

“He’s scared to make the first move, so we’re making it for him,” Jeff stated, driving the final nail into Eddie’s coffin. “Please go out with him. He’s a mess and he needs someone who can force him to eat a vegetable every once in a while.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie said quietly to himself, burying his face in his hands. He was going to have to throw himself into the Quarry, or let a semi run him over. There was no coming back from this. None.

“Eds?”

He didn’t want to look up. He just wanted to just stay right here until he actually turned to stone. Maybe he could. Maybe he just never needed to move again.

But he did look up, because it was Steve, and Eddie was a total goner for him.

“Are your friends fucking with me, or do you actually want to go on a date?” Steve asked shyly, looking at Eddie with those stupid big eyes that made him want to give Steve the entire goddamn world.

He couldn’t give him the whole world. That wasn’t possible. But, Eddie could give him the truth.

Or, he could give Steve a part of the truth, at least.

“I actually want to go on a date,” Eddie admitted, taking the leap. He wrapped a curl around his finger and chewed nervously on his ring, unable to look Steve in the eye. “But only if you want to, I mean.”

There was a full fifteen seconds of silence in which Eddie was sure he was going to lose his mind. Then a gentle hand pressing at his jaw, turning his head so he was looking Steve in the eye.

“Well, I have to check that Joyce can watch Dustin, but if it’s okay, why don’t you meet me at The Hawk tonight at 7:00. I’ll get the tickets if you buy the popcorn?” He offered, cheeks a deep red.

“Sounds good,” Eddie agreed breathlessly, feeling his heart attempt to leap straight out of his chest and into Steve’s hands.

“Then it’s a date,” Steve said, biting on his lip to try and hold back the huge smile trying to make its way onto his face. “I’m gonna get you a real coffee.”

Steve was up and gone in the blink of an eye, practically flying into the cafe and disappearing into the back despite all of the coffee supplies being right up front. Eddie watched him go, dazed and shocked as the rest of his bandmates shared victorious high fives and happy whoops.

“What just happened?!” Eddie practically screamed the second his brain came back online.

Tags: @dangdirtydemons @excaliburstark

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raayllum · 5 hours

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hi. i always see your analysis and theories in my dash and they're always so well thought and interesting and conecting a lot of things i personally would never think to conect but actually make so much sense when put like that

so hm, not to be weird online, but how does one learn to like interpret and understand what's going on on a piece of midia, yk, cause only consuming doesn't do it? Anyway

your edits are really nice

FIRST OFF this is soo nice omg thank you <333 also never worry about being weird online i'm always more unhinged, this is an unhinged space

which ironically is kind of the best way to get good at literary analysis tbh! I wrote a post about it here but that was more on how to organize thoughts / write meta > finding the things to write meta about (aka the "this feels gratuitous" draft is still in my drafts as we speak — might be time to clean it and some others up and post it).

In a lot of ways there tends to be like.... two main avenues for analysis? Which is an oversimplification but is making sense to me in the moment, and I'd specify the divide is

Treating characters like people (characterization, relationships) vs treating characters like tools (motifs, symbols, plot structure, dynamics).

Ideally, a narrative merges these two things so completely it's hard to separate, and I think TDP does an extaordinarily good job at it. I'll call this marriage Theme since its the main idea(s) of the Story/Narrative and everything should at its best be working together in service of the Theme if you want something cohesive.

I'll use Callum and Rayla as an example just cause I think they exemplify a Lot of how/why this all works and works as well as it does.

If I want to write about Callum and Rayla's internal psyches, i.e. where does Callum's temper or Rayla's gruffness come from? I'm going to look at them as people. They're going to have consistent triggers, responses, contradictory emotions or emotional reactions, etc. This is like the how you wrap a present, the colour and feel of the paper. Any character in a story can technically have any kind of personality, i.e. an assassin can be sweet and snarky (like Rayla) or stoic and rigid (Runaan). That's not all they are, of course, but the characters' personalities often times affect how and why we ship what we do, or have certain favourites, etc.

For example, Callum's primary Narrative Purpose is to be a human mage. He's there to explore the range of possibilities a human who wants/chases magic in the story can have, and we pretty closely follow his magical journey of feeling powerless, struggling and achieving primal magic, and guilt and desperation that drives him to dark magic. But absolutely none of this means that Callum needed to have a temper.

To see the way a character trait can be married to a motif (repeating symbol) let's look at Rayla. Rayla can be secretive — not telling people everything and being closed off about her emotions — and often leaves to try do things on her own, occasionally flat out disappearing. These are her personality traits (characterization), most of these psychological aspects come back to not feeling like she deserves help or not wanting to hurt people, thereby hurting her relationships. She's a person.

At the same time, these traits help us as the audience understand and grasp how the series treats the Moon and its arcanum. The Moon is a symbol, and it's all about changing faces, secrets, and illusions. We don't know whether the ideas for the Moon arcanum (which seem to be loosely taken from Tarot) or Rayla's personality came first, but it's clear that at some point they merged to reflect each other.

If I want to talk about Rayla as a person, I'll talk about how her personality/choices affect her relationships. If I want to talk about how she reflects her primal or how she choices affect the plot, I'll be talking more about structure. If I want to talk about how both of those things say, in a speculative meta about Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum as he understands Rayla (and himself) better, then I'd be talking about both simultaneously (theme).

But those are all like, examples of how you can break stuff down that you see. How do you go looking for stuff / know what to break down?

1) Pick a piece of media, ideally one you already feel very comfortable and familiar with. Book, show, whatever. This familiarity means you can focus less on the processing the plot and more about other elements of the story. Then watch or read the thing but try to pay attention to like, a few pre-chosen ideas or themes. It could be the theme of power, or — I'm thinking for something like ATLA - how the characters reflect their elements (Aang is evasive and avoidant, and air is light and breezy, etc).

For a TV show in particular, it can mean breaking things down scene by scene in an episode to see what the anchoring idea of it, i.e. 1x06 in TDP is all about Soren, Claudia, and Rayla keeping secrets. Soren and Claudia keep their secrets and isolate themselves, because isolationism in the series is usually Bad; Rayla shares her secret, because working through problems and letting people help you (being collaborative) is Good, etc. These messages are pretty consistent throughout the rest of the show as well.

If applicable, I'd recommend starting out with stories where you already know the ending and/or even better, the story itself is aware you know the ending from the beginning (i.e. in Titanic, you always know the ship is going to sink). This can help you pick up on dramatic irony (everyone emphasizing the ship won't sink) as well as setup (the movie making sure we know there's not enough boats, people making the boat go faster, the moment the ship hits the iceberg literally separating Jack and Rose from each other to set up what happens later, etc).

2) If you wanna learn how to analyze, to a certain degree you have to learn to shut down your feelings and biases. This doesn't mean that feelings can't affect how you analyze, or dictate what you want to analyze (I feel very positively towards TDP and therefore I want to deeply analyze it! same with Rayllum) but it does mean leaving "I want this thing so it has to happen" at the door — or vice versa.

The best example I can give is a hypothetical one. For example, it kind of doesn't matter if I — personally — think that Callum and Rayla have known each other that long to know each other well. (I don't, for the record, but bear with me.) In the Text of the Story, they know each other incredibly well, and more to the point, thematically, their senses of self are so incredibly intertwined that them affirming each other's senses of self is like... the only place we could be going. Rayla is "Rayla saves people," so by saving a possessed Callum she's saving herself, and if she goes to kill him, she's likewise metaphorically going to be killing herself (her own sense of identity), etc.

Or for a non-ship example, my real life feelings about monarchy don't matter. I don't like monarchy, I think most western monarchies are crap... and I'd be silly if I brought those feelings into TDP's discussion of monarchy, because they're using monarchy as a vessel to discuss things like power, responsibility, and growing up, particularly for Ezran and Janai (and how often do we see non-white monarchies in media anyway?). And if I want to engage with those themes, then I have to engage with TDP's discussion of monarchy.

It's kind of like how even if something in a story grosses you out or makes you uncomfortable, you have to be really damn sure that wasn't an Intentional writing choice on Purpose or a chance for self reflection before it's launched as a complaint.

Doing this kind of awareness and predictive work also means you'll get better at predicting where stories might be going and leaving ahead of time if something is going off the rails / not going your way (in a bad way).

3) Growing a list of common themes and symbols that stories tend to have. Birds = freedom, chains = entrapment and coercion, grief, identity (particularly in coming-of-age stories), etc. If you have a loose idea of what to look for, that means you can also start to look at the specifics of how stories use these themes/symbols. For example, Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo and Juliet both feature a theme of love amongst forbidden lovers, but the first is a comedy (love conquers all, even if it makes people foolish) and the second is a tragedy (love is not always enough to conquer hate/violence/our worst impulses).

For example in TDP, although it was in the background in s1-s3, light and darkness has now become a very overt motif (repeated symbol) in both dialogue and imagery. Tracking what those things represent or how the show complicates their meaning (light isn't always good, etc) can help indicate where certain characters or plot beats are going.

This can also mean trying to notice consistent metaphors (i.e. dark magic is often consumed by the caster for spells / referenced with cannibalistic language; dark magic corruption is increasingly seen as spreading sickness/illness) and then being on the lookout for the next time(s) they show up. So much of media literacy / critical thinking is just being able to explain/figure out why you think what you think (with evidence) and it's always a skill that can be nurtured and improved

End of Blabbing

Very long winded but hopefully helpful, and always feel free to ask more questions and/or DM if you'd like! I always love talking about stuff like this and it's such a treat tbh <3

#thanks for asking #anonymous #writing advice #the english major strikes again #long post #analysis series

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altrodent · 1 year

Text

It’s a date

Pairing: Joe Cooper x Reader

Genre/Warnings: swearing, uncomfortable situations

Summary: Your jackass teammate has been trying to get with you since you joined, but now since you’re reunited with an old “friend”, maybe he’ll get the message 🤭

(A/N): I was writing this on a blocked power-through, so this isn’t as good as my other stuff (which is already a low bar 😭) but enjoy!

“Come on, baby, don’t tell me you like him…” Your teammate says leaning against the locker “It’s none of your concern- and stop calling me that!” You roll your eyes and walk away. That douche has been trying to get you to fall in love with him for years, and still nothing. But, after 8 years, you finally will be reunited with your high school sweetheart… Okay, maybe you weren’t together, but he was extremely close with you, and anytime a girl would come up to him he’d just make an awkward face at them then look back at you. Also, he did that thing where he holds your hand and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb… butterflies! Ahem- back to reality. “I just don’t get why you don’t wanna get with me? I mean, I’m attractive, popular, and definitely bigger than him…” He throws the picture to the side, as you go to catch it he takes a peek down your shirt “You know, one of these days, this shit will get you in a shitload of trouble” you shove him out of your way as you go to find your shoes.

You make your way to the plate as you, unluckily, find yourself against Coop and Doug. Now, you’ve known them since kindergarten, so you think you got this. Doug whispers something to Coop as you’re trying to line up the shot, you have it in the bag… until- “You look so hot in a uniform, darling~” You freeze, you’re stunned and in a sudden last burst of energy you shoot…

“Ladies and Gentleman the winners of the Denslow Cup is… The Beers! Poor thing, she’s as red as a tomato, maybe she’ll score something else later if you catch my drift…” The other announcer just puts his head in his palm, tiredly.

“Fuck, man.” You rub your face I’m embarrassment. Wether you liked it or not, that was extremely unexpected. An arm slips around your waist, you assume it’s your perved out teammate, “Dude, I swear to god if you say one FUCKING THING-!” You cut yourself off when you see an all to familiar smile “Say what, hm?” You exhale deeply “Sorry, I thought you were-“ a loud brawl starts out between Doug and said perv. “Him?” You nod “Yeah, he’s been on my ass about… well me.” He tilts his head in confusion, and you shake your head “Sorry about the Psyche out, I know it was kinda uncalled for.” You roll your eyes “It’s almost as if that’s the entire point of the game” you chuckle as you pull him into a hug, he wraps his arms around your body in a big warm embrace. “Maybe I can make it up to you with a dinner on me, tonight?” You pull away to look at him, pursing your lips to hide a smile, “Like… a date?” Coop looks to the side of you and back, “Yeah, if that’s okay, of course! I mean we could just-“ you press a finger to his lips “It’s a date” You smile and pull away “meet me out back, after you’re done changing.” You smile and nod.

“What, the HELL WAS THAT? (L/N), you got some explaining to do…” Perv closes your locker before you can finish getting changed “I got psyched out, thanks very much, now can you please go away, I have plans…” He scoffs “With who? The jackass with the shitty hair?” You push your finger into his chest “Ever since I joined this damn team, you’ve been on my ass about everything I do! Now if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I will not hesitate to drop the team entirely! You know why this team is sooo popular? It’s cause you have a damn hot girl on your team, if I leave you know goddamn well you’d be so fucking bland that no one would even want to watch!” You eventually pushed him into the wall as the whole team watches “I don’t care what you do, just never fucking speak to me until you learn some goddamn respect.” He gulps as his last bit of dominant masculinity, fades away.

Exiting the locker room and heading down the long hallway stirs a nervous feeling in your stomach. What if he’s not there? What if he forgot? What if he just doesn’t see you that way, and you’re just being extra delusional? What if- “Hey, dude! You ready?” Before you knew it, you were outside and he’s standing there waiting for you looking extremely cute in his lettermen jacket. “Yeah, sorry I took so long…” you hold your arms close to you, trying to keep your body temperature stable. “It’s alright, you okay though?” He looks concerned, you nod but he shakes his head “You don’t have to lie, you know” he smiles as he takes off his jacket “Joe, please, I’m fine” he rolls his eyes “If you think I’m gonna let you freeze your ass off out here, you’re wrong” you smile as the cold breeze brings a pink tint to your cheeks “Thanks, coop.” “ ‘Course, anything for you” he smiles at you before draping his arm around your shoulders and placing a kiss atop your head. You walk off, ready for the future… what a guy✨

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felicitysmoaksx · 5 months

Note

Conner and Sarah fake dating for the holidays for x reason. But it becomes a little too real.

For the advent writing calendar

See, it started like this, Connor needed someone to go to the annual hospital charity event with him to get his father off of his back after the fallout with Robin and because Sarah was the only one single at the moment, Ava offered her up. It was one event, Sarah didn’t mind. In fact, the brunette probably owed him one. For everything he did for Robert. (The fact that he was a psychopath notwithstanding.) Then one event turned into two and two, three. You see where she was going with this. Until Sarah looked up and she was four months deep into fake dating Connor Rhodes.

Sarah didn’t mind though. She wasn’t trying to date right now anyway and Connor kept everyone who hit on her away because the whole hospital, except for a few friends, thought they were together. As evidenced by Dr. Bardovi’s subtle mean-girl act last week when Sarah and Connor had been eating lunch in the cafeteria.

So that brought them to now, where she was leaning against the nurse’s station, as she bickered with everyone’s favorite charge nurse.

“You worked last Christmas, Sarah.” Maggie shook her head as she sorted files and handed them off to various doctors and nurses. “You shouldn’t be on the roster to work this year. It’s a year-on, year-off basis. You know this.”

The brunette sighed and she continued writing her notes on a surgical psych evaluation. “It usually is. But I volunteer to work it every year so someone who actually celebrates it can be with their families.”

“Who actually celebrates it?” Maggie raised an incredulous eyebrow at her friend, “Sarah, you love Christmas! I’ve seen you the day after Thanksgiving practically with bells on and positively floating through the day! Even before Thanksgiving now that I think about it.”

Another holiday she offered to work every year.

But the charge nurse wasn’t wrong. Sarah loved Christmas and celebrated it all season long. Though admittedly with the Robert situation, it was certainly more subdued this year. But wasn’t it ironic that a person who absolutely adored Christmas didn’t have anyone to spend it with?

Sarah shrugged while a smile that looked more like a grimace overtook her lips. “I’m just saying, I don’t have anyone to spend the holiday with because I don’t speak to my mother, I haven’t since I told her I went into psychiatry over two years ago. Not that I ever spent it with her, to begin with. So I volunteer to work because what else am I going to do on that day? Why not give it to someone who has a family to spend it with?”

“But you could’ve had someone to spend it with if you told us. You know that if Will, Ethan, April, Ava, or I had known you were by yourself every Christmas, we would’ve offered for you to come with one of us to our celebrations.” Maggie argued, before the ED phone rang. An incoming trauma, which meant Connor rushed to meet the paramedics to take the case, before Maggie could assign it.

It had been a slow day for him and Connor didn't idle well. Her cheeks warmed when he caught her eye and winked as he ran. Her friend caught the movement and nodded in the direction of the surgeon. “What is he doing for Christmas?”

“Spending it with his dad and sister.” Sarah shrugged her shoulders. Maggie raised an eyebrow, “And you’re not spending it with him because?”

“I didn’t want to intrude. And you know why that’s not exactly an option anyway because he and I aren’t actually together.” Sarah said, because Maggie was one of those few who knew it was all fake.

Just like the charge nurse knew how Connor looked at Sarah when he thought the brunette wasn’t looking. It may have started out fake but Maggie was willing to bet that’s not how he felt now. The brunette continued shaking her head, “Besides, I’m fine. I celebrate during the month and that’s enough.”

It wasn’t fine though and it was sad that her friend thought or pretended like it was. The charge nurse pursed her lips together before she offered, “At least, come with me to my-”

“Maggie, no. Christmas is a family holiday and I don’t want any of your family to feel bad when I don’t have any gifts because you brought an extra person. I’m fine.”

[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]

She was in the cafeteria line with a thought of splurging on another peppermint mocha, when strong arms snaked around her waist and drew her in close. Sarah tensed briefly before the warm citrus scent filled her nose. Then she relaxed in his grasp.

“Getting lunch?” he mused quietly in her ear. She squirmed slightly at the fuzzy feeling that ran down her spine and made her shiver at his words.

“No, I was thinking about another peppermint mocha.” She told him and was met with a disapproving look, “What exactly have you eaten today?”

“Pro-”

“And don’t you say just those protein bars you’re so fond of. They aren’t big enough to sustain you all day.” Connor shook his head at her. Before the brunette could say anything, the line was moving and his hand was placed on the small of her back to propel her forwards gently.

After ordering her peppermint mocha, in addition to a coffee for Connor and two wraps, one vegetarian and the other chicken, (that Connor wouldn’t let her pay for and waved away any of her attempts of trying to pay him back) fake boyfriend led them to a table. While she picked and munched on pieces of tortilla, Connor sipped on his own coffee and watched her.

“What?” Sarah finally asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had nowhere to go for Christmas? That you work every year because of it and spend it by yourself?”

“Maggie,” she grumbled more to herself than anything as she shook her head. Then she shrugged and told him quietly, “Because I didn’t want to intrude on anyone. Or anybody’s Christmas.”

“Can you get out of it?” He asked, shaking his head.

“I’m not sure. I’d have to talk to Ms. Goodwin. Why?”

“Because I’m making plans and it would be better if you didn’t work that day.”

“Connor, I’m fine-”

“Sarah, you’re not spending another holiday by yourself. Especially not one you love so much. Not when you have me.”

But she didn’t have him, not really.

#one chicago #chicago med #Rheese #Sarah Reese #Connor Rhodes #my writing #felicitysmoaksx 2023 advent writing challenge

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romeulusroy · 1 year

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Succession Preference: Having a Partner With Bipolar Disorder

A/N: I have Bipolar II, so I can only write from my own experience and what I do to cope. I wrote a Peaky Blinders request similar to this, too ages ago. Know that I'm not trying to glamorize or romanticize anything. I just have a really hard time seeing myself be in a relationship with anyone because of this disorder and I fear no one will love me or someone like me because of all this 😅 I just want this to be sweet for anyone going through the same things I do! 💜💜💜

Connor has no idea what you're talking about. You seem fine, right? It's only when you finally break down, exhausted from keeping up the facade, do you tell him that you have Bipolar Disorder. He's heard of it of course, but not in the terms you're thinking of. In jokes about his dad being "so bipolar", about the weather being "so bipolar", but not like this. He sits you down, hating that you thought you needed to hide this from him, that you were using every last bit of your energy and focus to keep yourself together. You weren't even doing a very good job, you thought, canceling your last date because you couldn't leave your house. He asks a lot of clarifying questions, needing to understand what it is, why you have it, how long you've had it. It runs in your family, and you've had it for a long time. You're managing things with medications and therapy, but it doesn't stop these episodes from happening, not completely. The next question he asks brings tears to your eyes: how can I help? No one's ever asked that. They dismiss you, saying you don't have it because you're not explaining your entire history, your every thought, to them. Or they shake their heads/roll their eyes, not wanting to hear or care about it, like you should stop talking about it. Connor wants to be there through everything, even the hard parts. He's not giving up on you or your relationship like you feared. He cares about you, every part of you, and nothing will ever change that. He assures you, nothing.

Kendall isn't sure what to say besides okay. He knows you're in therapy, that you take meds at night, but he doesn't really give it a second thought. Not until he finds you standing in the scalding shower, date night clothes on and soaking wet, does he start asking questions. You can't answer, give a coherent one at least. Your skin won't stop crawling and this is the only way to make it better. It's the only way to regulate without doing something self-destructive. You stand there for as long as you need. It's not until a few days later that you tell him you have Bipolar Disorder. Okay. That you're beginning to feel manic. Okay. That you can go through periods of mania and depression. Okay. That the hot water helps. Okay. That you're not a danger to anyone else or yourself. Okay. That you're in therapy, that you're taking your meds, that if he doesn't want to be with you anymore you'd understand. That knocks the wind out of him. What? That's not at all what he wants to do. You know that he's not understanding the full weight of your words, that he's only seen you hypo/manic, the fun, bubbly, lively you. He hasn't seen you depressed, he hasn't seen you crash like you will soon. You ask him to take a break, until you're back to stable. He asks how long that will be. You're not sure. After about a week he shows up at your doorstep, unable to be without you. You still remain careful, explaining everything to him, making sure he knows what he's getting into. You're still not convinced despite the years you've been together. Kendall isn't worried. He'll be with you through it all. Everything.

Shiv I love shiv she's so pretty knows quite a bit about it. She took a psych class in college hoping to diagnose a few family members. She understands the basics, the two ends of the spectrum, but she's never met anyone with it. At least, that she knows of. She finds out about it the first night you sleep over at her house. You think you're being quiet with the pill bottles, but she's quieter, making you jump as she appears out of nowhere. You say they're for sleep, but she knows better. You try to shrug it off like it's nothing, but she wants to talk about it. You can't meet her eyes when you explain everything. The reason she's never been to your place is because you've been depressed lately and it's a mess and it's taking everything out of you just to show up to work. She holds your hand through all this, playing with your fingers, a sign that she's worried. You think you've ruined it all. She must hate you for deceiving you like this. Instead she grabs her bag and walks you to the car. From there you go to your apartment where she starts cleaning. You're so embarrassed at the state of things, but she doesn't seem to mind. She never wants to hear your voice crack like that again, she never wants you to be so full of guilt and shame like that again. You'll figure it out together, you will, she promises you. She'll help you every step of the way.

Roman at first makes a joke about it. You knew he would. He's seen you at your lowest, he's seen your scars, he's heard all the horror stories. You're not trying to scare him away with this, you just need him to know that sometimes things can get very bad and he needs to be prepared for that if he wants to be with you. You've been together a long time before you work up the courage to tell him, though he's suspected something for a while. You couldn't get out of your bed, you weren't eating, you were sleeping and crying and shaking all day. You'd completely shut him out, not answering his calls or texts. He deserved an explanation that wasn't a half-assed apology. It all makes sense now. So, what, now I'm dating two people for the price of one? You're being vulnerable and all he has to say is that? Once he sees the look of hurt on your face, he immediately apologizes, over and over again. Of course he can make jokes about it, you'd prefer if he did instead of never bringing it up again, just not right now when you're trying to have a serious conversation. You tell him that if he wants to call it quits, he can, that you would totally understand. You know it's not easy living with you, dealing with all this, at least he has the chance to leave. That's what he calls you crazy for, for thinking he would leave you over something like this. He's seen you as your worst and he loves you more than life itself. Not despite it, not out of ignorance or because he feels like he should, he just does. Bipolar Disorder won't change that. Nothing will. You're stuck with him.

#preference #headcanon #connor roy #connor roy headcanon #connor roy x reader #kendall roy #kendall roy headcanon #kendall roy x reader #shiv roy #shiv roy headcanon #shiv roy x reader #roman roy #roman roy headcanon #roman roy x reader #succession #succession headcanon #succession x reader

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candewlsy · 5 months

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moots as idol positions with different moots?

Omg omg finally >:)) I can finally appreciate my precious moots <33 cause i love every single of you mwahh mwahh 😍

@eeunoia Oldest/lead dancer. Psyche is giving the oldest member not because she's one of the oldest moots I have but because I feel like Psyche would be the most mature and calm member. She'll put others before herself and she overthinks a lot, something like "Will this be okay? Do I look okay?" It broke my heart when she asked me about her fic and her writing skills :((. Other than that, she'll be taking care of the others like if you forget to bring something important, she'll have it prepared for you instead :D. Psyche is out going and SHE'S GIVING ME DANCER VIBE TRUST ME FRRR

@malarign Leader/lead vocalist. Joo is so leader-coded. Why? Because the other day she gave me advice and I think she'll know how to handle hardships and problems calmly. She'll make sure everything is going well. I think she'll keep her problems to herself because she doesn't want anyone to see her asking for help. Joo is a sweetheart and whenever she sees one of her members/friends having a hard time, she'll come to them to help them out (I love my wifey so much) since she's a Polish, I bet she has a wonderful voice ☝🏻

@slytherinshua and @eternalgyu. Main rapper/mood maker. Isn't it obvious you can't separate these two? They'll definitely slay-rapping together, They'll continue and complete each other's verse and make it amazing. It just gives the vibe okay?! They're so chaotic together. Zanna is hyper-chaotic meanwhile Hannie is calm-chaotic. Zanna will attack her members with LOVE meanwhile Hannie will playfully fight you. They're loveable by the people around them.

@enmayz Main vocalist/visual/happy pill. Mira's voice is so soft and sweet, when she sings it feels like you're in heaven. Her giggles are so 😩 I feel she'll slay so hard as the main vocalist. Hitting those high notes and ugrhhh, I need to her sing more hehe. Mira is so pretty too gosh a whole package. I think she's like those aesthetic idols who post their ootd, makeup and aesthetic pictures. Imagine her having a photo concept damnnn 🤭🤭🤭 Mira is so so so so sweet (I've been saying this a lot but it's true!!) Mira appreciates people around her and makes sure they feel loved :(( she'll sweet talk to you and help you through the day.

@haecien Sunshine of the group. Cien will make your day better easily. Eventho, he's a crackhead but it's just cute. I feel like when someone is having a hard time, he'll cheer you up with the random things he does and he'll always ask for people to come to him when they need someone. And he's giving sunoo Vibes too omg saurr cute.

@starrywonie maknae. Nana is so cute and adorable. I feel like everyone will feel at ease whenever they're with Nana. Nana is a curious girl and it's just giving Maknae :(( she'll cheer everyone up with her adorable energy.

#moots game #lovely moots #mootie <3

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yellowloid · 1 year

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hello! I saw you made a post on the analysis of the ultracheese and honestly it was such an intriguing read! I read that that you believed golden trunks was an even more meaningful song when related to miles and alex and I would really really rEALLY love to hear what you have to say about golden trunks because honestly its one of my favorite songs

hello and thank you!!! always happy to hear people enjoy my song theories ❤️

golden trunks is one of my favourites too and i was d y i n g to analyse it. it's just such a unique song sound and lyric-wise, definitely in my top three in tbhc.

(as always, disclaimer: this is just a fan theory and everything i'm gonna say is 100% subjective. i'm not claiming it's the Real Meaning TM of the song bc 1) songs can have multiple meanings depending on the lens that is used to analyse them and 2) we'll never actually know what alex meant by writing it. we only know it's the closest thing to a love song in the album, featuring a conversation between him and someone he's falling for. nothing else is set in stone.)

but let's get to the actual analysis, shall we?

to me, this song is about miles. 100% about miles. the person he's talking to, and the person he's falling (or has already fallen) for is miles. there are theories going around on the internet saying it's about taylor or even louise, which are both??? kinda senseless theories??? first let's talk about taylor: why would he create that same sense of secrecy (that is present in songs such as the ultracheese) in this one, if it were a song about his (at the time) girlfriend? why would he add that 'we're friends but i'm falling for you' vibe (that we can find in diwk too) in a song about his current partner? why would he admit to fantasising about that person (keyword: admit, like it took him some time to come to terms with it) in a song about his so of literal years? tbh it doesn't make any sense to me.

and then louise... a bit more plausible since it would at least explain the secrecy if he was cheating, but then again, still doesn't really make sense. what's with the wrestling references. i don't think she's a wrestling fan, and if she is, she's never publicly shown she is. not that she needs to, ofc, but... you know. this theory usually comes from twitter fans who can't even bear the idea of it being about miles, because god forbid someone ever mentions the idea of alex and miles being a thing!!!! so really considering the source of this "theory" is twitter i wouldn't give it much more thought lmao

so now onto the lyrics...

"last night when my psyche's / subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice / you slowly dropped your eyelids / when true love takes a grip, it leaves you without a choice"

this is such an interesting and powerful opening verse to a song. it's so cryptic, and at the same time so blunt. he admits to being a victim of night-time overthinking, that moment when you keep tossing and turning in bed and sleep just won't come to you, dooming you to unwanted thoughts, realisations and fears coming together to haunt you through the night. he's scared of those voices in his head, whispering all those truths to him that he doesn't even want to consider; his mind is being flooded by snaps of the person he's maybe trying not to think too much about, but at the same time he knows it's a losing game: there's no choice to be made, no power held over the images that keep shooting through his mind. he also seems to realise something about the person in question: the possibility of them being his "true love" (or, similarly, him being this person's "true love", hence them admitting to fantasising about him). once again, this is extremely important because he rarely ever refers to love so directly in his songs, and i don't think it's a coincidence he does it here as well as in the ultracheese. having no choice could also refer to him finally coming to the realisation that - despite the fact that he's still so scared of the whole situation - he can't run away anymore. there's no choice, he has to acknowledge the facts because they're all there, hiding in plain sight. there's no way he can escape the truth, and that terrifies him. but he does acknowledge it, as he sings:

"and in response to what you whispered in my ear / i must admit, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

i can just so easily imagine him and miles sitting entirely too close to each other in some booth at a bar, the unspoken boundaries of friendship getting blurred as too much alcohol gets in the way, and miles leaning closer and closer to him just to whisper in his ear that he sometimes fantasises about him in ways friends shouldn't. or as they rehearse their songs right before/during the eycte tour, which always reminds me of this quote:

MK: I remember, one time Alex came up to me and said "I want to see how you spit, while singing "sick puppy" in Bad Habits. I called him a madman afterwards.

AT: Yeah...

MK: But he was right. No one else would say something like that to me, It was beautiful.

AT: You see, Kasia, I just tell Miles about my fantasies, and he tries to fulfill them, even when they are very kinky, like in that case.

(full interview here)

or even during concerts, since we all know how much they loved whispering god-knows-what to each other during song breaks, then proceeding to giggle and flirt with each other like they weren't being watched by an entire crowd sksldklsh. they seemed to be self-aware of this, as they also used to take the piss and play with interviewers when asked about it:

Interviewer: What sort of things do you say to eachother on stage?

Alex: Dark, twisted and very private things.

Miles: You'd think we were freaks if you knew some of the things we talk about on stage. We talk about weird things that don't really make sense to anyone else.

(i think this is from nme, i haven't been able to find the original interview but you can read something more here)

however, imo alex admitting to fantasising about the other person in this song makes his confession so heartbreaking. a while ago me and @jewellersstunts were talking about the fact that it's just so easy to imagine miles whispering something like that to him, maybe during a concert, and him being taken by surprise + generally bad at expressing his emotions through spoken words + him being insecure about their situationship and his identity and just... not saying anything in reply. maybe brushing it off as a joke, when in reality they both knew it wasn't. now, following the fandom theory of them still being friends but having some kind of falling out after the eycte era due to the unclear nature of their relationship - miles getting serious and alex chickening out -, let's fast forward to a couple of years after the tour. when things aren't the same anymore and alex is there, all alone by himself, dwelling on the past, on what once was and what could have been... and him finally finding the courage to give miles a reply through the veil of song, because that's the only way he could ever really be able to express his emotions in some kind of neat fashion (+ i think a similar development was also featured in one of WeirdChick333's fics which as we all know are the canon milex bible so there's that)

i also can't help but think of miles' own album when i think of this song. whereas golden trunks is filled with regret and it's like saying "i didn't give you a reply when you said it, but i'm saying it now. it probably doesn't change anything though, and i'll have to live with that for the rest of my life", coup de grace as an album (and may i say, ESPECIALLY wrong side of life which is my absolute favourite miles song ever) is like saying "yeah you didn't say anything then. you broke my heart and and you keep breaking it every single day, we fought so much and nothing is the same anymore, but i don't care because i want you and you want me, so can we please, please try again?". i think that's really telling of their personalities. tbhc as a whole has a very pessimistic vibe, even though it rarely ever addresses private matters that directly (with golden trunks and the ultracheese being the most direct songs, but still being incredibly cryptic and mysterious). cdg is sad and angry and heartbroken about a nasty breakup, but in general i'd say it still holds some kind of hope for that relationship to be salvageable.

but i'm digressing. let's keep going:

"the leader of the free world / reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks / he's got himself a theme tune / they play it for him as he makes his way to the ring"

the reference to wrestling (and possibly to something that actually happened) could be a way for alex to make it clear, even to miles himself, that this song is about him. if it were indeed something that actually happened (them watching a wrestling match or the news, and miles pointing out trump's similarity with that wrestler), then when miles listened to the song - if he still had any doubts - it'd be irrevocably clear to him that alex was talking to him. it'd be some kind of secret code, an inside joke between them turned into a way for alex to make sure miles knew. (also lmao at the twitter fans going to great lengths to prove this verse is about taylor or louise when they've never expressed any interest in wrestling while miles has been a big fan for ages. @ amtwitter bffr)

now, i don't remember if he's referring to an actual wrestler that wore golden trunks as part of his costume and that reminded miles of trump, but the mention of wrestlers in general also reminds me of a very interesting addition by @reconciledviolence729 to my ultracheese analysis. she said:

"For some reason I got fixated on the line: “And dress like a fictional character / From a place they called America / In the golden age.” I can’t help but think how Miles dressed as Ric Flair, who was a significant persona during the “golden era” of American professional wrestling (which is often considered at least somewhat faked aka fictional)."

going back to golden trunks, this verse also introduces some kind of indirect commentary on politics, which is present in other songs from the album and which continues in the next lines:

"in the daytime / bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies / summat else to publicise / i'm sure you've heard about enough"

(quick aside: "bendable figures" could also be interpreted as a very suggestive image. not gonna elaborate any further on that)

in this reddit theory it is suggested that this mirrors the "breaking news, they take the truth and make it and fluid" verse from american sports, and i think that's a very interesting parallel. however, this part also introduces a contrast to the opening line (last night / in the daytime) which hits us with a sinister dilemma. we like to think that the (often pessimistic) conclusions about our life that we come to at night aren't to be trusted. nighttime does that, it tends to fuck with our rationality by making everything seem scarier, more threatening and disheartening than it usually is. our minds tend to lie to us at night. but here he says that the "fresh new pack of lies" comes during daytime. so what's more trustworthy, night or day? the scary, truthful voices of night or the blatant lies of day? he doesn't give any clear answer to this question. he just leaves us with the doubt, instead bringing the song to a close with newly-found courage:

"so in response to what you whispered in my ear / i'll be upfront, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

the difference with the previous "i fantasise about you too" line is obviously the use of "i'll be upfront" instead of "i must admit" - which is such a slight change, but it's still so important. the use of 'must' and 'admit' imply a certain degree of forceful admission. he finds he can't hide it anymore, and has to at least take notice of it in some way. he doesn't necessarily want to admit it, because he wishes he could still keep that confession to himself. on the other hand, saying "i'll be upfront" is so powerful on his part. he not only acknowledges the feeling, but he takes a big breath and finally comes forward, announcing it without any second thoughts. he finally finds the right way to actually reply, even if it took him so long to do it. and yes, maybe it won't change anything, but this song is a way for him to send out a message, and the fact that he managed to write it and include it in the album (despite never being able to play it live - which makes it even more sus) is a testament to how much of his heart he put into it, how much deep emotion and reflection and courage it took him to be able to compose it and sing it. and that's exactly what makes it so incredibly special.

#i love this song so much you don't understand #the fact that they never debuted it is possibly one of the sussiest things alex ever did but you know what? i get why he refused to do it #it was too personal my guy would've probably cried on stage if he did play it #perfect sense is definitely its equivalent in the car. there's no way they're gonna play it anytime soon #(watch them play it at the next show now that i said this)#(no but please play it. play perfect sense AND golden trunks. i would straight up cry throw up and die but at least i'd die happy)#also sorry at this point you know how long my posts get lmao #thanks for asking for this analysis tho it was a pleasure to write it 💖#milex #my theories

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