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#they're all exhausted and even more traumatized than before
nocreativityfornames · 4 months
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After everything that happened, I honestly just want MC and the brothers to get some sleep
Like, that's it, that's all I want. After the big reunion MC tells the brothers that they're all in need of some good rest, and everyone immediately agrees to go change into their PJs and meet back at Lucifer's room 10 minutes later ( because he's the one with the large ass bed ). And they do just that, they all meet in Lucifer's room, hop on the bed, and finally have a good night's sleep. For the first time in months.
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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year
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It's me again. The therapist/illustrator who can't stop squeaking and screaming about her beloved son Hunter.
I've been thinking nonstop about him finding the terrible grimwalker graveyard, imagining what would be going through my mind if I were him. Sifting through whatever moments, dialogue and frames that I can find from the existing material, along with references outside of the show, to formulate what an offscreen scene would've been like.. (And seeing if I can find editable and salvageable enough backgrounds so I could perhaps even depict this scene one day)
A soul like him who not only wants to help others, but also acquire knowledge:
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heading back here to see the graveyard:
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You can't tell me that this wouldn't still be on his mind, and he's even anxious while saying this below, scratching his face a little:
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Whether he follows up on this or not, also depends on how he looks back on being shown this:
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And is he just going to go cold turkey and totally drop these leads he was pursuing in the episodes before the finale? :
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Three things prompted me to finally write this post:
@polyhexian's and @ashanimus's analyses of Hunter's fight scenes in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake (links here and here, they're really cool to read!!), based on their years of experience with martial arts. Reading those was a revelation to me because learning about how high Hunter's skill level is, how in touch with his body he is by default, portrayed so well thanks to the crew...that allows me to make far more educated guesses about his mental health in the early stages of the pre-epilogue gap of about 4 years. Because he is so used to high activity and being on high alert, no thanks to having C-PTSD.
Observing how light and free Hunter's expressions are, and how transformed his demeanor became, in the epilogue sequence. That transformation is an indication to me of the magnitude of grief which had to be transformed within him. To be put back together, in order to be so radiant, generous and self-actualized in the epilogue...imagine how much had to be deconstructed and further broken beforehand. He wouldn't have room to fill his life up with all that amazing newness if the old isn't emptied out first.
This psychoeducational video by my fave author, also a practicing therapist, who specializes in traumatic grief: link. Hearing her address the topic of entering the second year after a bereavement vs. the first year, was interesting. Definitely confirms to me that Hunter wouldn't have carved Waffles until past the 2nd year of navigating his bereavement.
In the years that pass before the epilogue, Hunter will not be able to understand why the efforts he puts into all the rebuilding work, coordinating and leading others, and trying to have fun - only cycle back to him experiencing a mix of a restlessness and emptiness in the deepest layer of his mind. It'll exhaust his energy bit by bit. I bet he's going to generally look as tired as depressed Luz does below, even if he's had an acceptable hours of sleep per night:
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That restlessness will be an awful psychological itch that he'll be unable to scratch, caused by losing Flapjack and now also Belos. This is the same as what happened with his anger in For the Future, except Belos was still alive back then. It will be harder to understand and messier to navigate the bereavement this time round. It'll be something gnawing into his soul which I really think only professional help can heal, especially since the show promotes that it's okay to not be okay, and more than okay to seek professional help (Steve and Lilith's conversation in Edge of the World).
He will be trying to claw his way out of that C-PTSD pit, but he'll be aware deep down that he simply cannot reach any emotional high points for long, and something will be blocking his feelings of connection with his loved ones. He won't feel nearly as free and easy the way he used to be in the human realm:
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Having a routine like he used to in the Castle, and moving around a lot, was what helped him survive. However, he won't have the awareness that the shift resulting from Belos passing away has been at such a fundamental level: to the point that those old, supposedly tried-and-true methods no longer serve him in any positive way. At least, not until his mental health will be back in better shape.
As he puts in more and more effort to escape that restless emptiness, getting annoyed at himself because he doesn't know what's going on...he'll use up the rest of his strength and eventually crash. That itch won't be solved by going back to overworking tendencies, and like how it is with addiction cycles, he would need some kind of fix for the deep restlessness within. The answer? Productivity to feel useful, which we have seen even in his efforts to fix damaged clothing and well, making stuff in general.
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Where the grimwalker graveyard comes in is...once he hears news about its existence, he will stubbornly insist to want to help in investigating it, saying he has already read a bunch of books about them, and can be useful, etc. Worse, if his offer to help to investigate is refused, he will do what he did in Eclipse Lake. Go to the location anyway, to fill that deep void within.
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Old habits die hard.
I don't know if he may hear from King (who he'll be seeing fairly often, I think!), The Collector or even Kikimora about it. Since they were the three characters who went all the way down there in King's Tide, and The Collector already knew about these horrors for literal centuries. King and The Collector are also still young kids! Will they have the sensitivity and awareness about breaking this news to Hunter?!
On the other hand, I don't know how the timing will be with Darius, Raine and Eberwolf..Darius will want to get serious about investigating his mentor's disappearance. Once the searching and scouring extends to the location of the Head of the Titan, they will find the evidence staring them in the face. If they want to scour every inch of the Isles, there's also a high chance they'll find the godforsaken grimwalker lab.
Worst of all, Darius would be aware by then of how much Hunter loves to help out in operations like this to be productive. At the same time, Darius's own grief will surface even more, I'm not sure he'll be able to hide that, and Hunter is highly observant. If Darius is trying to hide his own priority of finding closure re: his mentor, I think Hunter will sense that.
Therefore I wonder if this will happen except it's Hunter with Darius:
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and then this poor beloved skrunkly son of mine, who so famously said these words at the beginning of his arc:
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is probably going to get reckless, and endanger his mental health...not unlike moments like this:
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by venturing to the graveyard, whether stealthily or accompanying the grownups, because he'll rationalize it as "getting closure" and once again "being useful". Remember how used he is to moving around so much and being active, combined with growing up isolated so that asking for help can still be a foreign concept to him. He would be anxious about grinding to a halt, and he'd want to be on the move instead.
He may demand to see the graveyard, and holy Titan I'm not sure any dilemma will be as tricky for Camila and Darius to navigate as this one. Because preventing him from seeing something he already knows exists is, in a very twisted way, also an unhelpful form of avoidance. Avoidance is a hallmark criterion for diagnosing both PTSD and C-PTSD.
How far do they go in protecting him from himself? Where do they draw that line? They might reach a compromise where Camila and Darius accompany him there. Once he sees it, it'll hit harder than this:
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Letting him see it means his new parents would have to fall with him, in the sense that they follow him to that emotional place: but while he figuratively does not have a safety harness when falling into this deep dark hole, Camila and Darius are equipped with harnesses a.k.a. higher maturity, less of a trauma history, and some tools to help him get better, navigate the trauma, and manage his symptoms.
Camila will have the warmth and sensitivity to catch and meet him as he falls (she interacts with animals in her profession, who don't have the capacity for human language, in a similar way to how serious trauma can't even be put into words at times: it makes you voiceless). Darius's shared past living in the Castle and grieving over his mentor will help Hunter not feel as alone once he has seen these horrors.
And because his heart generally became more open to receiving love and support,
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I doubt he'll close himself off almost completely, the way he did in the first two-thirds of For the Future (god, remember these deleted storyboards??):
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It wouldn't surprise me if he weeps and panics as soon as he sees the graveyard, and his parents give him maximum support through that breakdown. As complicated as it would be for Camila and Darius to give in to his desire to see the graveyard, a response like this from him - a child seeking attachment with proper timing - is a good sign of growing into healthy attachment with parental figures.
It is an arguably better response than one of the hardest aspects of C-PTSD: where the outpouring of grief only happens after a delay, sometimes a significant delay, at very inconvenient or strange times. Hell...if I were Hunter, I'd probably want Camila and Darius to just hold me close in wordless silence for half an hour until my initial distress and shock passes.
If I use King - a child who is securely attached to Eda, who's definitely had a more stable upbringing - as a control experiment here, he could have the appropriate response immediately in Echoes of the Past and expressed his emotional needs clearly enough:
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Whereas this is what Hunter has to now learn, at twice King's age, as he settles in with new parents who take care of him instead of mistreating him the way Belos did. Hell, I can't imagine what kind of Belos punishment awaited him if he cried to demand attachment.
(I need to use more King scenes as a comparison to Hunter's upbringing in my next metas! I realize this can make my explanations clearer)
Anyway, what may happen next after he can't unsee the graveyard is...Hunter will then swing to the other extreme of high activity. I.e. being passive, physically inactive and psychologically crashing into depression, which may translate into habits such as oversleeping (catching up on all that lost sleep...but at what cost?). Supposedly sliding deeper into the C-PTSD pit. A place from which he has to express the desire to seek the forms of help he needs.
Remember that this kid has only known extremes for most of his life. Until he settles in properly with his found family and attends therapy, he has no clear reference point for more balanced approaches in living.
The trauma he went through is a quadruple whammy for a 16-year-old who just survived growing up in a cult. It would be so much. I can't see him not falling into months of deep dark depression, as unfortunate as this sounds.
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Grieving over Flapjack, grieving over Belos, over his childhood/upbringing, and now a grisly memory of his predecessors who didn't make it (to add to what he saw in Belos's mindscape). I simply cannot see him handling a load like this without a highly-equipped and sensitive professional, paired with his support network of family, friends and even possibly the wider community at times. Especially now that we've seen him in action during the epilogue.
The epilogue sequence would've had a different feel (and in my opinion, a not-so-good feel) for me if Dana had established that the grimwalker graveyard was still untouched after those 3.5-4 years and if Hunter never found out about it. Something like that is different compared to Dana mentioning in the recent Post-Hoot that in the he does not know about Caleb and Evelyn, or that he is related to the Clawthornes. Mysteries like the Clawthorne heritage can remain an eerie secret that only us in the audience know about, but I wouldn't feel comfy if this were the case for the graveyard as well.
To quote @idlescree's video essay about Hunter's death (link), the show's writers didn't pull any punches when it came to Hunter's development arc. Which means they had to take his story to the "categorically appropriate place for him to overcome" his greatest challenges.
Something tells me that with respect to the grimwalker graveyard and the avoidance theme in C-PTSD recovery, Hunter would've had to put in more work to confront a number of terrifying foes even beyond his Thanks to Them speech. One of which was the graveyard containing the remains of his predecessors.
PS: This is a spontaneous post which branches out from my giant post-finale meta (link) that I pinned to my blog, I suppose.
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hi, sex witch. so, i'm an older virgin (turning 30 soon) and am going to be having sex with someone next week, but after so long it's become a very big scary thing that i've decided to deal with by having (very negotiated, very consensual) intentionally big scary kinky (cnc) sex with someone who knows what they're doing. i was chatting to my best friend about it and she thinks i'm going to really mess up what i think sex should be like and that i should re-evaluate why i want to not have to make my own choices during it (but surely i'm already making my choices here...?). i'm really concerned now that wanting it like this is just internalised misogyny and rape culture?
hi anon,
I do actually think this is a really unsafe and ill-advised idea, not because it's misogynistic or because there's anything wrong with flavor of sexual fantasy but because it's kind of like deciding to get into mountain climbing by starting out with Everest. going in elaborate, hardcore scene without having no idea how you interact with other people in the context of sex seems foolhardy at best and comes with a high potential for pretty significant physical and/or emotional damage that, yes, could be rather traumatizing.
like in the most ✨ sex positive✨ way possible it would be irresponsible not to acknowledge that sex can really freak people out. it's a lot of stimuli all at once and that can cause people to flip out or freeze up. sometimes it hurts way, way more than you thought it would. sometimes you're going to be triggered in ways that you didn't even know were a trigger for you. and that's all possible during the world's most vanilla sex! and it can still be harrowing and horrible and exhausting, and adding the stress of, in your own words, a "big scary" scene is not going to make that any more pleasant.
I'm also just broadly worried about how well you're able to knowledgeably negotiate a scene when you don't even have a working frame of reference for how you do and don't like to be intimate with other people in non-kinky sex. much like mountain climbing, probably, sex is something you get better at when you spend a lot of time refining the basics and warming up, getting to know your body and its limitations before you do the challenging stuff.
I want to be so, SO clear here that the problem is absolutely not this particular fantasy, which I think could be a lot of fun to pursue if you're still interested after gaining more sexual experience. as a starting point it makes me uuuuuh nervous. respectfully, I wouldn't recommend it, but your body is yours and you must chase your bliss as you see fit.
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jennamoran · 3 months
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The Far Roofs: the Magician
Hi!
Today I’m going to talk a little bit more about my forthcoming RPG, the Far Roofs. More specifically, I want to talk about one of the characters for the bundled campaign: the Magician.
So the characters for the Far Roofs campaign are, loosely speaking, about halfway between pre-generated characters and classes.
Pretty close to playbooks, I think; close enough for the Powered by the Apocalypse and Forged in the Dark stuff I've read to have influenced some of the details ... but, ultimately, they're coming out of a different stream of development. They just aren't quite the same.
Nor are they really pregens, or classes.
They are just ... what they are.
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One of them, for instance, is the Magician.
If you play the Magician, what you're saying is, when you were young, you had a brush with a Mystery---one of those roof-haunting divine monsters I've talked about. It was traumatic, and you tried to forget, but now you've just come back from away (changing jobs, finishing a major project, finishing school, whatever) and you're learning your childhood nightmares were real.
The rest of who you are? What you're dealing with?
Well, that'll be up to you.
The Magician comes with some pregen stats, that you can rearrange if you want to. It comes with access to two "powersets," and you can choose four powers from them starting out.
(There's a set of four that the game recommends that are subtle enough that you can tell yourself you're just a regular person. If you want. For a while.
... that'll be up to you too.)
Most of all, what being the Magician gives you is four character-specific stories, of which the first is Coming Back:
Coming Back "You’ve been away, working on an exhausting project or studying abroad or something. Now you’re back … and getting dragged into the affairs of rats and Mysteries. You try to work out how you fit in."
To get you started on that story, the game gives you three things you'll want to answer or define by building words out of letter draws over the course of ... well, probably, a large number of sessions. In sum:
how can I possibly hold myself together through this?
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?
[your relationship with the rats]
It also gives you a "quest," a place to start on all this, which basically boils down to
a premise: "you need to figure out how to live with this damage"
a few tools to draw bonus letters, and
the extra question: "can I really face the far roofs again?"
You'll finish that up, and at least make a start on figuring out what to do here, after which you can move on to a second, third, fourth, or even fifth quest if you're not done figuring out the three big story-based challenges yet.
When you're done, after you answer those questions and however many you needed for quests ... there's another three stories. All the while, there's some bigger-picture group stuff that's going on too.
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In practice, I do think these stories will take a long time. It is possible to speedrun the stories in this game, to blur through the campaign in like twenty hours of play .. but it'll be about as weird as any other speedrun.
If you're not doing that, I figure it'll be a couple of sessions, maybe even 4+, before you even answer one of those questions.
You'll draw maybe five letters in a session, and use some of them on the group story or subplots, and all the while you're developing your understanding of the proper answers while you shuffle the letters around.
Like, let's walk through one way it might go.
Maybe you draw NA in the first, slowest session. You could treat that as an N/A answer to something, but let's say you're not really into that. Like, burning through the questions fast doesn't help you, any more than it does in real life:
You want something that means something, that helps you crystallize how your character addresses that question.
That might wind up being N/A, but probably not in the first session or two! Not until and unless it feels right.
So let's say session 2 gives you ... NPLG. And now you can decide that you're a PAL of the rats and that's one question down ... but again, that only really works if you are or you want to be, right?
It's s a very specific choice, PAL. It's not for most, really.
It might not be for you.
More likely, I figure, you just ... have NANPLG there ... and none of that answers your questions at all.
Session 3. EEGEN. NANPLGEEGEN.
So you look between that and your questions. Between that and the four major challenges you have to address:
how can I possibly hold myself together through this?
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?
[your relationship with the rats]
can I really face the Far Roofs again?
And, maybe ... PLAN?
PLAN isn't bad for the first answer. I guess it was already there back in session 2, but I didn't see it until now. Maybe you didn't either. It's not bad, either way. At least, not for my version of the Magician; yours might, of course, differ a lot.
What else can we find in those letters?
GLEEP ... is ... not helpful.
LENGE ... isn't even a word!
(Update! On review, it turns out it is a word in Hungarian, and there's also a song, so like if you know the song or Hungarian you might get something out of it.
... but typical Magicians probably won't.)
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Session 4, anyway, brings us up to NANPLGEEGENLMAEA.
... no O, Y, or S, which means we still can't answer basic questions like whether you believe the far roofs are real with a simple NO or a YES. Same on whether you can face them again.
In fact, without O, we can't even "LMAO" at the very idea of being able to hold things together in the face of it all!
What can we find?
...
GLEAM is in there. It's a good word, but unless it fits something that's going on in the game or your personal take on things, it's unlikely to help.
LAME to self-chastise yourself is ... good if it's something your character keeps saying, but otherwise no.
LEAN, maybe?
Like, maybe you're LEANing on the rats for spiritual and mental support?
Conveniently (I'm drawing these from an online letter server, so they're not rigged) you even have two LNA at this point, meaning you can use up LEAN and still have PLAN in your pocket.
... let's do that.
Let's go ahead and answer two challenges with PLAN and with LEAN, leaving us with GEEGNMA and two questions left:
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?
can I really face the Far Roofs again?
GEEGNMA. Dang. So close to having ENIGMA!
... I guess you do have ENEMA but that doesn't seem relevant.
AMEN ... not that useful, honestly, either.
NAME?
AMEN or NAME might help with some miscellaneous task, but not with the two questions at hand.
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The next session brings us LSIRK.
GEEGNMALSIRK.
... which does give us ENIGMA as an option. We could answer a question with basically, "I dunno, it's an enigma."
... but of the two questions we have left,
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?
can I really face the Far Roofs again?
... ENIGMA only really works for the first.
And that's totally fine! Except there are a few in-game incentives I haven't really talked about and in fact won't talk about here to encourage you to address the quest-question first.
So, what else?
SEE? SEER? Again, they only work for "do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?"
... let's table this until session 6.
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Session 6. We get the letters OAEUWH. We now try to answer the questions:
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real?
can I really face the Far Roofs again?
with letters from GEEGNMALSIRKOAEUWH.
... we have an O now.
I don't like just answering the second question with "NO" but it's now possible, at least. You might do that, with your Magician, anyhow.
MAYBE, like YES, must still wait on a Y.
WHO CAN?, on a C.
...
Oh! But there's OW, for "yes, I believe they're real, but it really hurts"
WHO for "if I decide who I am, maybe?"
Those are rough. They might feel better, though, after keeping them in mind for a bit during play.
WHEEL ... is not helpful. Nor WHALE.
WHOA?
WAIL?
... I actually like WAIL here, though I hate using up that I and taking ENIGMA off the table. But, like:
"can I do this?" answer: incoherent wailing
That ... feels like a solid answer for someone who is both doing it and doesn't really think they can. Maybe not in your group and your circles. Maybe not for your Magician. But for some Magicians, at least, it makes sense.
The question
can I really face the Far Roofs again?
came from the first quest, and so when you answer it with WAIL, you move on to the second one. That gives us a new premise, a new set of card-drawing options, and a new question:
what did/will I find on the Roofs that I actually need?
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So now we have GEEGNMSRKOAEUH and our questions are:
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real? and
what did/will I find on the roofs that I actually need?
Do you maybe need a KO? A ... RAKE?
A ... GROAN?
GROAN is a good answer to "do I even believe the Far Roofs are real," at least for the kind of character who answered "can I really face them?" with WAIL.
Let's ignore the incentives I mentioned earlier, then, and do just that, giving us the following set of challenges and answers:
how can I possibly hold myself together through this? PLAN
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real? ... (GROAN)
[your relationship with the rats] LEAN
can I really face the Far Roofs again? ... (WAIL) and
what did/will I find on the roofs that I actually need? ????
plus, EEGMSKEUH.
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What do you need, that you can find on the roofs, that you can make out of EEGMSKEUH?
Do you need ... an SKU?
SEEK ... it's probably good to stick SEEK in your pocket, like, in case you figure out some way to use it as a "the journey is the destination" sort of thing, but the idea's a bit thin.
... let's say you don't use that yet.
The next session draws AABHR, for a total letter set of EEGMSKEUHAABHR.
... if there were a T, we could use BREATH.
... I guess, if there were a T, we could also have TEA.
I look at those letters and want to do HOPE, but in fact, we only have two letters from HOPE. We have an M, so we're closer to HOME ... but is the thing you find there really a home?
There's SHAME, but unless that's exactly your character arc, that's probably not what you need, that you find on the roofs.
GEM? HUGE? RAM? ... just a couple more letters and maybe we can get RAMEKIN, and honestly, you do need one of those, everybody does, but ... well, you don't have the letters for it.
GAME?
Let's say you push it off one session more.
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The next session brings SRIHO.
Now we have EEGMSKEUHAABHRSRIHO.
... HOME is now possible, and strong, but only if there's stuff happening in game to lead up to it.
SHEER ... doesn't work.
Not quite enough letters for RHINO.
We can do BEARS, but you probably don't need that many bears. SOME RIBS ...
Ah, here we go:
RISK.
That could work. Let's say that it does.
You needed to get out of your comfort zone. You needed to do something scary. It was the only way to discover you could.
And if that's your answer, you can finish out the story now:
how can I possibly hold myself together through this? PLAN
do I even believe the Far Roofs are real? ... (GROAN)
[your relationship with the rats] LEAN
can I really face the Far Roofs again? ... (WAIL)
what did/will I find on the roofs that I actually need? ... RISK
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Roughly eight sessions in ... really, 3-15, in practice ... and you've got your first personal storyline cleared. The next one will have you deal with some ghosts.
Thirty-two sessions to finish all four; after that, there's some options, but they're not as personal.
... but if your group has scheduling issues, or even if it doesn't, you might have trouble ever seeing 32 sessions of anything. You're not going to use this stuff up. You'll just hit a number of satisfying narrative stops for your character along the way and at some point the game will end when some player moves away or scheduling gets too rough or, optimally, when one of the larger group storylines ends or a couple players finish stories at once and everyone goes: "yeah, that's an ending."
Even if you've got a really solid group that meets really often, the campaign should keep you going for a good few years of play.
And now you know a bit about both the campaign and about what the Magician is like!
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muzanswifey · 2 years
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Can I nsfw request headcannons of Dragon!Kagaya x Reader please? It’s fine if you ignore it!
Dragon!Kagaya x Fem!Reader
18+
Oooo this will be interesting 🤔 ive never done anything nsfw for kagaya before so lets give it a try
Warnings: Smut, dragon au, kagaya is still blind, handjobs, blowjobs, riding, cowgirl, knotting, creampie, thank-you sex
Unlike most dragons, he’s quite accustomed to human ways and is thoroughly educated on the differences of the two species
But that isn't to say he doesn't feel the same instincts and urges as all other dragons do
So when you wander into his cave one quiet night, the first thing he can even think of doing is keeping you there
He does everything he can to extend your stay, feeding you, letting you take a nice warm bath in one of the many hot springs that decorate his abode, warning you of the many dangers that lurk around at night, yet you still insist you must get going, not wanting to be a bother
But he continues to urge you, practically begging you not to leave, and he's just been so nice that you give in
You stay for a grand total of 3 weeks, your every attempt at leaving met with a sad expression and worry from him, but you push past the sadness it brings you, finally leaving the way you came
It gets darker a lot faster than you thought it would, suspicious sounds filling your ears at every turn, when you reach a dead end of stone, absolutely certain this wasn't her last time, you start to worry
Several dragons corner you in, snarling and snapping at you dangerous close and you scream out
Just when they're about to grab you, 2 more individuals sweep in, swiping at your tormenters and shooing them away
As everything settles down, they come better into view, two large males, one hellishly large and blank eyes, the other a bit shorter with crazy white hair and scars, your confused as you stare at them until another comes out from the foliage, who you quickly recognize to be Kagaya
He softly asks if you are alright and you can't stop yourself from leaping into his arms, so overwhelmed and traumatized by what had just happened
Your still sobbing as he takes you back to his cave, his rumbling purrs deep within his chest and tender cooing eventually calming you down
As he cradles you in his arms as he lays you both down into his nest, your overcome with a sense of intimacy you've never quite felt before, it runs all the way from you tingling brain down to your curling toes, a wave of slickness rushing out of your core
He must be able to sense it as he nuzzles into you, bathing you in his scent while mumbling sweet praises into your ear
You giggle as you fall deeper into him, unable to stop yourself from lazily humping at his lap, hazy stupidity glazing over your brain quickly with the growing vibrations of his purr
You're the first to undress yourself, letting his hands roam about to memorize your body with touch rather than sight, then you push his robe open, taking his thickening cock in your hand and pumping it slowly, he groans aloud, leaning into your neck to bite and lick carvings into your neck
You drop down to take his member into your mouth, bobbing up and down to suck him until he finally reaches full hardness and twitches harshly
You ride him gently, rocking your hips to and fro and unintentionally stimulating his growing knot with your puffy cunt lips, he pants underneath you, worshipping your perfection and encouraging you to take what you need from him
When the time comes, he warns you, prompting you to slap your hips down a top his and swallowing his knot into your tight heat
He practically whimpers, humping up into you and jostling where you're locked, the movement has you whining, throwing you into your own orgasm and further milking him into your womb
You lay a top him exhausting, both of you peacefully falling asleep with his cock and cum stuck inside of you and his voice lulling you to unconsciousness with sweet nothings
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allthewhumpygoodness · 10 months
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The Reason (1 of2)
Hypothermia/snowstorm rescue, traumatized whumpee, "enemy" whumpee, eventual sickfic
@warmblanketwhump (I think you'll like this)
*
They were supposed to gather firewood.
B and the others asked nicely, but it hasn't been all that long since A was taken in by these people, and still every ask no matter how kind sounds like a command. One they'd better obey or else. They're not exactly used to any other kind of asking.
So ignoring the chills that have been at their back all day, they scuttle out of the little cottage and into the cold.
The woods loom before them, darker than ever in the clouded winter day. A sniffs and shivers and clutches their layers around them, but they gather as much wood as they can in the wheelbarrow they took. It occurs to them that they forgot gloves, and soon their fingers are pinched and freezing, and in between gathering they're frantically breathing on them and rubbing them together.
Deeper and deeper into the trees they go, startled by every distant crack of a twig or shuffling of a small animal. They aren't used to the woods. In their old group - they stiffen automatically at the memory, their breath coming short - they'd always remained at the campsite, usually on guard. Back there, orders were not to be defied, no matter how cold or dark it was.
When, after months of planning and debating and working themselves up, they finally managed to escape, they thought they wouldn't find anyone. Part of them had assumed they wouldn't make it anywhere, especially in the freezing landscape. And they'd accepted that.
But they had found someone. And now they owe those people, more than they've ever owed anybody.
Swifter than they'd thought possible, evening is upon them. The woods are almost too dark to see their hands in front of their eyes, the distant moonlight their only solace. Just a few hours outside have left them freezing, and they ache as though they've been bruised all over. They're exhausted, the deep cold adding another layer of weight to their bones. Shivering and staggering, they manage to drag the full wheelbarrow out towards the dim light at the edge of the trees.
A's head spins as they walk. Often they're out of breath, needing to stop and wheeze in the frigid winter air. A ragged, wet cough sparks in their chest, lighting a fire under their ribs. It hits them only then that their hands are trembling from exhaustion as much as the cold. Worse, it's started to snow.
In mere seconds, a wave of weariness and malaise takes over them and they're so shaky they have to lean against a tree to hold themselves up. Their knees feel like water, their bones suddenly weak as a newborn's. They close their eyes briefly, breathing heavily.
Eventually though, they have to go on. Bracing themselves against the tree trunk, they stagger upright and continue on through the pitch-dark woods. Everything around them seems to get further and further away, until they aren't sure they exist at all. Snowflakes spit out at them from the darkness without warning, heavy and icy and gathering all in their collar, half blinding them.
With hardly any sight, they might as well be some formless creature doomed to wander through darkness dragging a heavy burden behind them for all eternity...
They trudge. And trudge. Each step feels like the world's most difficult task, but they force themselves to keep putting one foot in front of the other. They have to get back to the cabin, have to bring home enough wood...
A is so cold it's hard to keep going for how badly they're shaking. And they're starting to remember things, things they'd rather not remember...their thoughts hover somewhere above the aching, trembling sack of their body, somewhere far away and warm...
They don't know where they're going.
*
One hour ago.
"Where are they?"
B has been pacing around the cabin, biting their fingernails to the quick. It's been hours, and still A hasn't returned with the wood they'd promised. And all the time the snow has worsened , the night growing colder and colder.
"I'm sure they'll be fine," says C, their eyes narrowing. "Surely they can handle themselves."
"Or," adds D from the corner, venom in their voice, "they've gone off back to their own people. You know it's true, B; they'll abandon us the first chance they get."
C shoots them a glare, but doesn't argue.
"Watch yourself, D," says B from the doorway. They open it a crack and see nothing but swirling snow. "We agreed to take them in, in spite of their history. You were part of that decision - you're not going back on it now."
D just grumbles in their corner, eyes on the hearth.
C finishes poking at the coals and comes over to B's side. They've never cared for A as much as B has, but that doesn't mean they wish them harm. Or so B hopes. "Nothing?"
B shakes their head. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Dammit, I should've gone with them..."
"Don't blame yourself. And don't worry. They might be on their way home right now."
B chews their knuckles. When A arrived at their hideout a month ago, a shaking, scared deserter of the very people B was rebelling against, they'd been the only one not suspicious at first. They'd met plenty of dishonest people in their life, heard plenty of lies - enough to know the truth when they saw it. And it was clear from the start that A was frightened, that they were genuinely trying to escape where they'd come from. So B had taken them under their wing, privately swearing not to let anything bad happen to them - at the hands of their old teammates or of B's own.
C had warmed up to them eventually, but remained cold enough to make A flinch at a glance from them. Their fond words were saved for the moments when they and B were alone together.
Now, the worry hits B suddenly that it may not have been enough. What if they decided it wasn't worth coming back? Not worth the concern and suspicion from D, and by extension C, not worth even their life they had only just retaken.
B doesn't believe it. But once the thought worms its way into their head, it's all they can hear about.
"I'm going to look for them," they tell C. Before they can protest, they've gathered their winter clothes and left the cabin, the wind slamming the door behind them.
A is their responsibility, and no one else's. So they'll be the one to find them.
*
The lash comes down on their back again, this time forcing a cry of pain from their lips.
A struggles to stay conscious through a world of pain, to not give in...
"That'll teach you," says a voice full of malice. "You'll do as you're told from now on, won't you? No more stalling or whining or disagreeing."
A only nods. They can't do anything else, it hurts to do anything else...
Do as you're told...
They're trying. They're trying so hard but it's so cold...B's voice hovers in their memory, becoming more and more like that of the cruel leaders of their old watch parties. Their feet are numb, their chest aching...when will this be over?
...There's a tunnel somewhere in front of them, pulling them forward and forward and forward, voices leering in at them from all sides...there's a scream that sounds to familiar, the rush of wings or wind or death itself speeding towards them...
Each breath hurts, each step hurts. All around them it's dark and too bright all at once, swirling...
And then they see a face they know, filled with and surrounded by blinding light, no longer crying in pain but smiling, waiting for them, arms outstretched...
A sobs, and falls into their arms.
*
When A falls into B's arms, it's sheer instinct that makes them grab hold of their trembling shoulders. They'd barely stepped out into the yard around the cabin when A's stumbling form had emerged from the darkness. The snow-covered body is limp against them now, sliding to the ground.
"Easy, A, easy," they say, alarmed at how weak their friend is. "You're back. You made it. Time to get you inside, and get you warm."
A clings to them with a shaking hand as they're all but dragged inside, the firewood forgotten. They're muttering something to themselves that B can't quite hear, shivering violently all over.
C meets their eye as soon as they get inside, their face switching from suspicion to concern at lightning speed. "What happened to them?"
"They're freezing - come help me, will you?"
C is there in seconds, taking A's other arm and helping B guide them over to the fire. "You poor thing," B hears them say in a low voice. "Hold on to me, that's it. You're almost there."
Together they wrangle A's near-frozen body to the hearth, quickly stripping them of their wet clothes, layer by layer. B hears C give a sharp gasp from A's other side and comes around immediately. They've removed A's snow-sodden shirt, and are staring at their back. A back crisscrossed with deep, scarred over cuts.
Their eyes meet B's. "Did you know?"
B shakes their head, numb. A, propped up between them, is still shaking intensely. "Let's focus on warmth for now."
B and C finish removing their wet clothes, replacing them with ones that are warm and dry. A is barely conscious, the wheeze in their breath and blueish hue to their lips and fingers stabbing worry through B's heart. C talks to them gently and soothingly the whole time, words they probably aren't even lucid enough to catch.
B glances over to D, still lurking in the corner but now on their feet, their eyes fixed on A's motionless form. Happy, are you?, they think, but don't say anything - tensions must stay low.
A isn't shivering anymore by the time they're wrapped up in as many blankets as B and C can find. Which is either a good sign or a very, very bad one. B's heart twinges again - the only time they've looked worse than they do now was when they first showed up on the cabin's doorstep, starving and scared... but not by much. Right now they look so small and vulnerable...if B had gone out to get wood without them, this might never have happened...
C has put a pot on the fire and is stirring some broth. B kneels, wrapping an arm around A's bundled shoulders and propping them up. They let out a faint moan in B's arms, their had flopping to B's chest.
"That's right, wake up for us just a bit. You need to eat something hot, and then you can rest, all right?"
A's eyelids flutter. C kneels at their side, slipping a spoonful of broth into their mouth. They cough slightly, but swallow. C manages to feed them a couple more spoonfulls before they curl back onto their side, shivering too hard to move.
C's fingers gently stroke the still-damp hair on A's forehead as they lie there trembling. "They're still frozen," they say softly, "the poor little thing, they were out there for hours...why didn't they come back once they'd gotten enough wood?"
B doesn't answer, but they know. Most of the others don't notice it, but B always sees the ways A tries to help out without being asked, the way they refuse second helpings of food - or sometimes first helpings - or how they downplay when they're too cold or too tired to work. As far as B knows, A wouldn't come home until they had a full wheelbarrow and full arms and pockets - even if it killed them.
"I'll watch them first," they say. "You get some rest."
C adjusts one of A's many blankets. "Wake me in a few hours. I'll come sit with them then."
Neither of them bother to ask if D's willing to take a watch too.
B settles in beside A, listening to their friend's footsteps dying away. D is going to bed too, but they can't help notice the conflicted look on their face before turning away from the fire. B has nothing to say to them - if they're feeling guilty, the more the better...
A shivers again, a crease appearing between their brows. B sighs and removes their own coat, draping it over their friend's half-frozen form. It's going to be a long watch.
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
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What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before
You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!
Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.
Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.
One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.
Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???
Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!
Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.
OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.
Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.
Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).
Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.
Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.
If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.
Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.
"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.
People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".
Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.
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rainyestcloud · 2 months
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MAG155: The Cost of Living: Basira Hussian Perspective. Word Count: 1892
This episode was a massive turning point for Basira and I don't think many people are really able to acknowledge this due to the subtlety of it, but just like how Jon finally cracked in 154 with his confrontation with Martin, this is really Basiras cracking point as well. As I've talked about in extremity, and as we all know, Basira is deeply, deeply reliant on Daisy. After all the shit that's gone down in her life Daisy has been the one constant, the one thing that's always there for her to rely on. Not only did they go through extremely traumatizing events together when working as partners in Section 31, but with everything happening in the institute, they're practically bound together. Even the very first interaction we have with Daisy, there's an expression of her concern and care for her 
[DAISY - [anxious, drawn] Don’t tell Basira. She doesn’t know about that procedure. I, I’m not sure how much she’d understand, she – she’s not – cut out for that kind of work.].
 Time and time again we begin to realize just how deeply bound they are as people. As the series goes on, we see them go from work partners, to trauma-bound, to full on codependent to a point where neither of them see life worth living without the other one in it. To the point where Basira practically sacrificed her life for Daisy, joining the institute and signing the rest of her life away on a contract that would save Daisy's life. They're incredibly bonded, to the point where we really barely see them interact. This is because they're so close that they don't *need* to talk to each other a lot for their bond to hold strong. They're so incredibly close that interaction simply isn't needed, because their care for eachother prevails despite how much they're around each other or not. This expression comes to a climax in mag146 during everyone's intervention with Jon. Basira explodes at Jon, furious with him for hurting innocent people to save his own life. However, when it's brought up that Daisy has murdered people again and again for this same reason, using her status as police to get away with it, Basira ADAMENTLY defends her viciously, insisting that what Daisy did was different, despite it being much, much more severe than what Jon had done. This is because Basira idealizes Daisy more than she likes to admit and for several reasons. Basira is someone who thrives off stability, so with her entire life crumbling around her, Daisy is the stone pillar she can lean on, rely on, count on as someone who's always going to be the good in her life. So when this image of Daisy is threatened, Basira becomes enraged. I've talked about this before but this mentality is illustrated well by Leson Festinger's theory of cognitive dissonance. When a person's conviction does not align with physical evidence of reality, and so that person rewrites reality in order for that awkward gap to be closed. Basira needs Daisy to be a good person due to her devotion to Justice, and so even when it's proved to her that what Daisys done is extremely immoral, she makes excuses for her to eradicate the dissonance created between her belief and reality. This is especially because of Basiras massive dedication to justice, and her black and white good and evil way of thinking. And so, the events of 146 go down. (if you want more on this scene [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aWHkkKeG9iDYXaesQ927NAvnHeczZnToT8y_NKBeLSU/edit?usp=sharing]) 
NOW let's take this in the context of mag155. The previous night after Jon was attacked by Julia and Trevor, he called Daisy for help, and this situation ended up exhausting her. We see just how incredibly weak Daisy has become, as we realize she can hardly take much physical work, is scarily thin, and is exhausted incredibly easily, getting her sick from the temptation of the hunt. This puts her out of commission for a little, and we are really truly hit with the reality of what her resisting the hunt has done to her. Painful, and intense withdrawal with no escape. Then, in 155, when Jon asks Basira about Daisy, we get the following interaction. Let's go through it, starting with the words exchanged. 
[BASIRA - I’m trying to convince her to go after them. To, uh… Hunt them. ARCHIVIST - Why? BASIRA - Because I’m not going to lose her. ARCHIVIST - She goes hunting again, you might anyway. BASIRA - And if she doesn’t, she might die. ARCHIVIST - Something you’re fine with in certain other cases, and something she’s made peace with. BASIRA - Because of the guilt she feels over the stuff the Hunt made her do. It’s not her fault.] 
Now. my fucking god lets go over this. This is really the scene where everything that happened in 146 and everything that's been happening, Basira really admits to. And what's truly revealed is just how dependent she is on Daisy. Seeing Daisy so weak, Basira is more dreadful than she could ever imagine, because aside from just seeing Daisy as a pillar, she also loves her. She cares about her. Hell she's everything to her even if that fact is extremely repressed. To the point where when she sees Daisy in such a state she is trying to convince her to kill people again. Basira the woman who quit the police force due to the corruption in it, Basira who judges people in black and white based on how just they are, Basira who exploded on Jon when he temporarily hurt four innocent people for his own survival, pleads with Daisy to go back to her own ways. Desperately tries to convince her to give into the hunt just once in order to feel better. Basira cares about Daisy so much that she's willing to set aside every moral she's ever had every thought of justice simply so that she doesn't have to lose Daisy, because she doesn't know what she would ever do without her. [BASIRA - Because I’m not going to lose her. ] 
Because she doesn't want to lose her. Because she cant lose her. And so she betrays everything she bases her own self on just to try and protect her, finally admitting how much she relies on her even if it's just through a few vague words. Even after this, when Jon snaps at her for her own hypocrisy, calling Basira out for excusing Daisy but not him for hurting people far less for the same reason. 
[ARCHIVIST - Something you’re fine with in certain other cases, and something she’s made peace with.] 
Her own hypocrisy staring her right in the face, she still denies, and still does everything in her power to eradicate that dissonance. She makes vague excuses for her, "it's not her fault", "she didn't know what she was doing", "it's different i swear it's different". Then Jon lays down the lines that really just end up cracking her.
 [ARCHIVIST - Earlier, when she was still out of it, I… I saw some of the things she was talking about, some of the things she did while she was police. Do you want me to tell you? BASIRA - No. No I don’t. ARCHIVIST - you knew, didn’t you? You knew the sort of things she did, and you let her. BASIRA - No. Not exactly. I thought… It’s not that simple.] 
Jon hits her right in the chest with the "I know what she's done. Do you want me to tell you in all the detail I know will crack your vision of her? But that's when we realize. He doesn't need to. It's not that Basira was slightly in the dark about the full extent of what Daisy did and so she filled in the gaps of her knowledge with excuses. It's not as if she only tried to justify what Daisy did due to not having the full picture. Basira knew every fucking thing. Every last detail and yet still excused her actions. She knew every disgusting truth and still clung onto her love for Daisy, and justified it. "Did Festinger ever consider how our justifications are to save not only ourselves, but others too? Did he ever consider how lies and love are intertwined?”  Basira isn't just lying for herself, she's lying to protect Daisy. Her lies about reality mix and tangle and knot with her love for Daisy, twisting and warping the two things into one ugly truth mixed with devotion and heartache. Without realizing it, without saying it directly, without even wanting to, Basira reveals everything about her mindset in this scene because it's when she finally becomes desperate. Just like how Jons desperation (rant coming soon :) ) in mag154 is what finally characterized his motives, Basira has been driven to a point of desperation that reveals her motives in full daylight without her even realizing it. Because at the core of it all: is Daisy. The person she truly lives for and the one that she is willing to do whatever it takes to protect because she's dependent on her to a point of no return, a deep, painfully repressed love driving her every action. Even in the last few words exchanged between the two here, we see how Basira bases her every action based off Daisy.
 [ ARCHIVIST - Have you thought any more about what I said? BASIRA - Yeah, I don’t think I can. Daisy wouldn’t come if I didn’t, and I’m not leaving her behind. Besides, both of us being blind would be… anyway, being stuck here isn’t exactly her main problem right now. ]
 "What i said" was referring to what Jon figured out to be the one way of leaving the institute. (Gouging one's own eyes out). And through hearing that, through Basira realizing the position that's ruined her life, through the job that she was manipulated into joining with Daisy's life on the line, Basira still refuses. Because of Daisy. Her one and only chance of escape is denied because she wants to be able to take care of Daisy. And because she doesn't know if Daisy would follow her. And where Daisy goes, she goes. Which is not going to be a reference to a heartbreaking line later in the series because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon.
because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jon because Daisy and Basira are not parallels to Martin and Jo-
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h-worksrambles · 8 months
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James' interactions with Eddie are something I've found myself thinking about a lot since finishing Silent Hill 2. Pretty much every character in the game serves double duty as being fleshed out as individuals, while also serving as a commentary on some facet of James as a character. Maria is the most obvious, but you also have Angela's self loathing and suicidal ideation, which reflects James' own self flagellation through Pyramid Head. Laura echoes many of the regrets James himself feels about his distance and possible neglect of Mary before she died, and throws those thoughts back in his face out of her own anger. By that same logic, I'd argue Eddie is a means for James to confront his denial as well as his capacity for violence.
Eddie comes to Silent Hill on the run after lashing out against those who bullied him since childhood. After being mocked for years due to his appearance and weight, he shoots both his bully, and the bully's dog, and so ends up coming to the town. Like James and Angela, he too committed a crime of passion (assuming Angela did indeed kill her abusive dad as is implied), and all three are trying to come to terms with what they did. Unlike Angela, who knows what she did and has been conditioned by her abuse to blame herself, Eddie is closer to James, seeming to actively deny what he has done. Or at least only sometimes. It's not entirely clear (and I invite anyone to correct me if I'm minsinterpreting) but Eddie seems to experience multiple personalities. He flips between being more aware of his surroundings and past, and more out of it and unaware. Sometimes he's gleefully boasting about how the people he's killed had it coming. Sometimes he's sat eating pizza like he isn't even aware what kind of place he's in. And we see this flip when James confronts Eddie in Toulca Prison, finding him standing over another body. At first he revels in his kill, and rationalises it, before seeming to flip, and attempt to feign ignorance, as if the prior conversation never happened. For all his bravado, I'd imagine the blood on his hands is extremely traumatic, just as it is for James, and this is likely a psychological coping mechanism. With his false memories repressing his past actions and allowing him to deny it, Eddie mirrors James in that respect. As well as how they're both mild mannered people but who are capable of acts of terrible violence when pushed far enough.
What really stands out to me is that every encounter with Eddie is done in a way that allows James to claim the moral high-ground. When James finds Eddie vommiting in the apartment bathroom, he expresses concern. When Laura runs off from the bowling alley, James berates Eddie for not showing more concern for her safety (giving us one of the most iconic meme lines in the series). And most blatantly, James is horrified when he finds Eddie, having just shot somebody dead. Most tellingly he says "You can't just kill someone just because of the way they looked at you!" And yet, isn't that precisely what James did? He killed Mary because of the exhaustion of caring for her in the late stages of her illness. Because of the way she spoke to him. The way she looked at him. James spends all his interactions with Eddie trying to convince himself that he's a good person. A better person than Eddie. But the more he encounters Eddie, the more Eddie becomes a mirror to him. He definitely has his own struggles as a character and makes a very prescient point about what happens when people are constantly rejected, mocked and socially isolated by society, convinced that they are unlovable (in some ways, Silent Hill 2 was making some very relevant points about incel culture in 2001). But he's also a means for James to confront the parts of himself he doesn't like. His frustration, self-loathing, denial and violent streak. When Eddie tells James that they're the same, that they were both called by the town for a reason...he's right.
And ultimately, for all of James' posturing, all his denial, all his attempts to be the moral voice of reason, James still ultimately ends standing over Eddie's corpse.
Once again, he's killed another person. And confronting that side of himself one of the last things he does before arriving at the Lakeview Hotel and being forced to fully accept the truth...
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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 5, Poll 5
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A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.
Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.
Mille Roper-The Arcadia Project
Qualifications:
She has BPD, which is a rarely represented disorder as it is, and is also a quadruple amputee, and she's one of the best characters with BPD I have ever had the pleasure of reading about. She is also canonically bisexual!
Propaganda:
GODDDDDD Millie she is one of my favorite bisexual, borderline, and amputee characters ever and when it comes to bi and BPD rep, she reminds me frankly of myself....I love her so much I need to reread borderline
Wen Kexing-Faraway Wanderers / Tian Ya Ke
Qualifications:
1. The LGBTQ+ part: he is canonically a gay man. (Though he does not identify by this specific word due to being from, yknow, fantasy ancient China, he is very vocal about only having interest in men / not having interest in women.) He is also one half of the main (canon, mlm) couple in the book. 2. Disability part: he has complex PTSD, with dissociative symptoms being most prominent. It's not articulated as clearly as the gay part, but there's a lot of textual evidence. For example, for his bouts of dissociation, he has a clear trigger - thinking or talking about personal loss (mostly his initial traumatic event, brutal murder of his parents when he was a child, but at least once it was fear of losing his partner), - and there's a very distinctive way the author describes it: "far-off gaze", "blank" expression or eyes, being "in a daze"/"dazed" were all words used more than once in those situations. He also exhibits symptoms of depersonalization, especially in contexts of violence. The one that made it click for me was a moment when someone was striking to kill him while he couldn't defend himself, and he was described as being calm "as if the one about to die was not himself", but there are also smaller hints, like several times he is described as 'fighting as if he doesn't notice pain and exhaustion' - which I would not take as evidence on its own, but tied in to other dissociative moments of his... yeah. 3. Last thing, in case you aren't sure PTSD/dissociative disorder should count as a disability, I want to make my argument that it should, as it noticeably impacts the character's quality of life. Both continuously (he mentions, for example, sleep problems/insomnia - that clearly stem from his traumatic experiences) and at specific moments (like that time he started dissociating in the middle of the battlefield, nearly resulting in him getting killed........)
Propaganda:
Okay, imagine a classical Chinese martial arts story. Young orphan meets a mysterious master, who imparts all his knowledge upon him; the boy trains hard and challenges various villains, until making it all the way to the final boss who was behind everything. Now, imagine if, in the very beginning of this story, the final boss accidentally ran into that mysterious master. And became suspicious of him. And began following him under pretense of falling in love with him at first sight. And then fell for him for real. And then they had adventures and also started co-parenting that young orphan.
THAT is the plot of Tian Ya Ke. And the final boss in question? Well, that's Wen Kexing I'm submitting! And yes, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu - the aforementioned mysterious master and the main character of TYK - are a canon couple. Wen Kexing in particular is very, ah, out and loud gay. Gay and making it everyone else's problem even. So that's the LGBTQ+ part. (Also they are SUCH a couple. They're so funny! The whole circus! And then they do something and you are like oh yeah right. each of them is a villain of a different story. Good thing they decided to play house instead.) On the disability front, Wen Kexing has mental health stuff - to be specific, complex PTSD with signs of dissociative disorder. I'm not gonna describe his wide array of traumatic experiences on the form because it needs SO many trigger warnings, but the important part is how those impacted him. For example, he mentions having sleep problems/insomnia due to fear. (Which made the fandom lose our shit once we connected it to the earlier moment where he, in a vulnerable state, drags himself to Zhou Zishu's side and falls asleep on his lap. The! Trust! That! Shows!) He also dissociates frequently when thinking/talking about his initial traumatic event. Which is my favorite part of the portrayal of his PTSD because... you know how there's this trend in media with superpowers/magic when the character's trauma response is portrayed through their powers, like their powers going out of control? And TYK went 'yeah, no, when /our/ OP final boss has a ptsd flare up, he just dissociates like a normal person'. (and I, a normal person who also copes by dissociating, was like 'i owe u my life'.) Also, I think it's great that not all of his episodes are plot relevant. Like, in four out of five cases it's just something that happens (the narration / pov character makes note of it), and then the scene moves on - so it feels like a feature of his character, as opposed to a plot devise for creating situations. And the one case where it does happen in an action moment - when Wen Kexing gets revenge on the person responsible for his initial trauma and promptly starts dissociating in the middle of the battlefield, and someone else has to step in to prevent him from getting killed by other enemies - kinda highlights the disability aspect, imo. Like, it shows that PTSD creates barriers for him where a person without it wouldn't have any.
Anything Else?:
1. It's a Chinese novel, so character names are written down with surname first. So Wen Kexing = surname Wen + given name Kexing. 2. There's a live action adaptation of this novel, called Shan He Ling / Word of Honor, but it's uh. well. The portrayal of Wen Kexing's trauma and PTSD in it is. Bad. 'Completely butchered everything I thought was refreshing about it in the novel' bad. (please understand i hate everything about the adaptation and am barely refraining from infodumping about how much I deplore it here) So if WKX makes it into the tournament and none of the images I sent work for u, pls at least don't use the live-action version? He is practically a different character there!
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sokkastyles · 9 months
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Hey!, I love your atla meta and zutara posts.
I was scrolling through Instagram and saw this. So if u don't mind, what do you think about this?
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After a break from the atla fandom bcz the discourse lowkey left me exhausted and traumatized. This was'nt pleasant.
Maybe it's bcz this feels like someone read a zutara post and is trying to paint smth similar to it with maiko , but for some reason, this makes me feel kinda sick.
Thoughts?
I think I've responded to this sentiment before because there's a lot to unpack with the idea that Mai "loved Zuko unconditionally," because first of all, she didn't. Their relationship only began because Azula decided it would be more beneficial to bring Zuko back as an ally than as an enemy. If things had gone as expected, Zuko would have been brought back to the fire nation as a prisoner, and he would have been spending the trip home in a cell like Iroh instead of smooching Mai. We have no idea whether Mai might have been distressed by this possibility and the hand she would have played in it, and the show gets her off the hook from having to have feelings about it because things just happen to work out so that she doesn't have to and she gets a boyfriend instead of the knowledge that she helped destroy the life of the boy she had a crush on when they were kids. I actually asked myself once whether she would have cared, and even attempted to write a fic where I started out thinking that Mai would actually try to break Zuko out of prison, but that's not what ended up happening as I channeled Mai's character. Here's the fic by the way.
My point is that their relationship is conditional. It's conditional on Zuko choosing to side with the fire nation. That's why he has to break up with her when he realizes that's not what he wants anymore, and when he tries to explain that to her, she refuses to understand it. And then when she decides to get back together with him, it's conditional, too. She literally tells him never to break up with her again. That's not something you say to a person you love unconditionally, because unconditional love means allowing someone to make their own choices, even if it means letting them go. I'm not even sure you can claim Mai loved Zuko before his banishment, either, since all we see is her blushing once when they were kids. The most you can say is she had a kiddie crush.
I've also seen people say that she loves him unconditionally because she's willing to get back together with him despite not agreeing with his morals, and as I've already said, that isn't true, because she threatens him with ultimatums, and she makes Zuko promise something he can't keep. They broke up because of their differing morals, and since that doesn't change, Zuko is likely to do the same thing again, just like he did at the Boiling Rock when Mai thought he would just back down if she yelled and threw things enough.
But also, the idea that unconditional love in this particular instance is a good thing is something I have to question in the first place. Unconditional love is a lofty phrase, but there are absolutely things that SHOULD be conditional in relationships, and having the same morals and ideals is one of those things. Especially since Zuko is the Fire Lord and his beliefs about politics and ethics will affect the future of his country. This isn't just a difference of opinion, it's something that makes them fundamentally incompatible and it's never resolved. And using it to claim that Mai "loves him unconditionally" because she's willing to stay with him even though they have fundamentally different ideals rubs me the wrong way.
Which leads me back to why I think people make these arguments in the first place, and I agree that it's nauseating. Because often when people say this, they're making some kind of implication that Zuko was so horrible to her and he should be grateful to her that she's willing to stick with him. And not only is that a shitty thing to do to someone in a relationship, but it is not unconditional love. It's gaslighting. It's especially creepy because Zuko has already had enough of that shit in his life. He deserves to be with someone who loves him for who he is, not despite who he is, and that kind of love is not real love to begin with. People are like "oh, but she saved him!" Yeah, she was the reason he was in danger in the first place, though. "Oh, but she put up with his anger and jealousy!" He was angry and jealous because she wouldn't listen when he tried to tell her that he was hurting. "But she isn't his therapist!" Literally shut up. I've said it before and I will say it again, I don't think I've ever seen a fictional relationship be accidentally written like an abusive relationship the way this one is, and it's even worse given that Zuko already has a history of abuse.
And yeah, I agree I think people try to make this argument to counteract Zutara, because Zutara is so much about change. Zuko had to change to have a friendship with Katara, so to counteract people try to make Mai a more appealing partner because she "accepted" him even when he was a mess. But the thing is, as I outlined above, not only is this not true, because Mai isn't particularly accepting. But the other thing is that changing, becoming a better person for someone else, is a good thing. Not being fixed by a relationship, but being willing to become better for the person you love. Katara may not have loved Zuko when he was a villain, but she believed he could change, and that actually is unconditional love, the right kind of unconditional love, the kind of unconditional love that makes people better and doesn't come with obligations. Mai loving Zuko when he's a confused mess isn't all that impressive since his abusive father and sister also "loved" him when he was enough of a mess to be kept under their thumb. This is abuser logic. And it's even more transparent because the second Zuko stands up for himself and takes steps to become a better, happier version of himself, Mai can't stand it and refuses to listen to his reasons, and then continues to act like he'll just shut up and put up if she tells him to.
This sounds harsh but a lot of it isn't directed at Mai necessarily, who is a fictional character who suffers from being underwritten and used by writers with an agenda. But the people who make these arguments that don't seem to realize how much they reek of abuse apologism, about a character whose narrative is so much about overcoming abuse? They can absolutely shut up.
Zuko doesn't owe Mai - or anyone - anything no matter how much she loved him or for how long.
I'd also question whether she made him "happier than we've ever seen him." Half those screenshots don't even show Zuko happy. Another one is when Zuko is commiserating with Mai over "hating the world." The last one is when Zuko is surprised that Mai doesn't hate him. So much for unconditional love.
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thefandomlifechoseme · 6 months
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hi, I'm here to ask abt your ghost Jaskier headcanons because you seem real excited about them!
OK SO-
Jaskier dies.
Maybe it's heroic. Maybe it's not. Maybe Geralt and Yen were there. Maybe they weren't. Maybe Ciri still beats herself up about not being fast enough. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe Geralt knew when it happened. Maybe he didn't. Maybe it was traumatic. Maybe it wasn't.
Point is, Jaskier is dead. Jaskier has been dead for centuries.
----
Geralt and Yen and Ciri are on the path still, when they stop for the night. There's a fire burning, and they're all exhausted, but Ciri is still cold, and struggling to sleep.
She could swear someone just draped their coat over her. Is holding her close. Is humming a tune long forgotten by the world. There is no-one there, but somebody is stroking her hair regardless. She closes her eyes, pretending they don't sting, that she isn't deluding herself into thinking that he is singing her to sleep, because surely Yen and Geralt would notice if they had been being haunted for the past several hundred years.
----
Years later, Yen is striking out on her own for a bit. It's not that she doesn't love her family, but she does need a break from them at times.
She is taking the long route to what was once called Cintra, because if being functionally immortal has taught her one thing, it's that she has the time to get lost in the woods. If she didn't know better, she would say that she was being followed. But there is nothing there, magical or otherwise. Even so, she is being followed. Or, perhaps, haunted. She doesn't deal with hauntings much- it's more of a Witcher's job than a Mage's, but every Mage knows the basics.
For whatever reason, her ghostly companion can't or won't show their face, but are present enough that she feels followed. She abruptly sits where she stands, and addresses the air.
"I don't have the equipment for a proper seance on me, but I am willing to allow you to perform a minor possession on me." The air is still for a long moment, as is her mind, before she gets-
unease-sorrow
a flicker-bright-snatch-of-song he never wrote
apology-fear
not-leaving-not-leaving-please
And then, clearer than the rest-
will-leave
if-you-ask
will-leave
wont-put-you-through-making-me
love-you-miss-you
He leaves her be then, and she is grateful for it as she beats herself up over this, because they should have seen this coming. How had they not see this coming? Of course Jaskier was haunting them- he'd done so often enough in life that it must have been practically second nature in death!
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nothorses · 7 months
Note
About your post about Educating People, it also means you have to give clear examples of how privilege, bigotry, and stereotypes actually work, because you can't be morally uppity that ignorant people can't fully grasp it.
So much online discourse makes me exhausted, because I see a post on my dashboard, and then immediately several posts talking about why that post is problematic, often without clear explanations.
Ironically, it was Writing With Color, a blog listing a bunch of stereotypes and actually engaging in discussion about the historical roots of why they exist, that helped me dismantle my racism, antiblackness, and sexism. I'm not white by the way! Far from it. But Writing with Color helped so much more in me understanding fandom racism than something like End OTW racism that seeks to moderate the fics of a goddamn archive, lmao.
I feel so many people assign a Moral Factor or Threshold you have to meet before you get to call yourself anti-ableist, anti-racist, a feminist, etcetera. And these same people often say, "Unlearning systemic oppression is a lifelong journey so just shut up and learn and stop your white fragility." (A valid point! But when someone makes a mistake that's likely stemming from extremely subconscious belief, they say, "Are you really an anti-racist, etcetera." )
I'm just tired of the guilt tripping, the gatekeeping. Leftism is being learned through scrambled social media condemning certain behaviors without connecting to the larger movement, and people are angry when others make the resulting mistakes. There is barely any kindness, lmao, or real education.
Yes, exactly!
Education is necessarily about community. In order to effectively educate people, you have to understand what and how they need to learn; where they're starting from, what the next steps might be, and how to engage them in that process.
You need to help them avoid shutting down, either because they feel overwhelmed or don't know where to start, or because they feel guilty and ashamed, or like they can't trust their teachers and mentors enough that they're able to open themselves up, ask for the help and clarity they need, and put their time and energy into the learning process for and with them.
Learning involves a lot of vulnerability! You're admitting things you don't know, you're asking for help, and you're trusting someone else to guide you in something you can't navigate alone.
Educating is difficult and taxing, and educators take on a lot of risk and harm in the process, too. But if we can't honor the vulnerability we're being trusted with, and we can't value the learning process, we're not going to be able to educate at all.
And if we want to see our values, knowledge, skills, and wisdom reflected in our communities, we need to engage in this process. We need to educate, and we need to learn.
And that's gonna take a lot of work, vulnerability, and trust that a lot of us, being very often traumatized people, are going to struggle with- which means it's that much more crucial that we share our progress by supporting others in making it as well. We need to trust people, forgive their mistakes, and initiate positive learning interactions ourselves. We need to show our communities patience and compassion, and we need to do it even (and especially) when it's not given to us first.
Change doesn't happen passively, and you can't destroy your way into creating something better.
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dark-frosted-heart · 1 year
Text
On Keith and his other personality
Officially Keith is kind!Keith and his other personality’s mean!Keith but I’m going to continue with Keith and Alter!Keith
I think I got everything, or at least all the important bits down. I also hope that this is understandable.
Origin
Alter!Keith was born one rainy night in one of the most traumatic moments of Keith’s life, when he failed to protect the one most important to him. More about that here.
Discovery
Keith is told by a doctor that his mind and body have yet to heal since "that day". People have noticed that Keith has been acting hostile toward some nobles, even if it was for the sake of the common people. He's told to rest and those feelings of days suddenly passing by without notice or of there being another "him" will go away.
One day, Keith had "woken up" with a sword in his hand and a noble who had a cut on their arm cowering before him. When Keith tries to ask if they're alright, the beg for forgiveness. He asks if he was the one that hurt them. He has no memory of this and apologizes endlessly.
It wasn't until some days later that Keith learned that there was another "him".
Some exchanges between the two in Keith's first diary:
Keith: "Who the hell are you? What have you been doing without my knowledge?"
Keith: "People are looking at me weirdly. They’re saying things I don’t understand."
Keith: "Don’t do whatever you please with my body!"
Alter!Keith: "I’ve done all the work for you, you failure. You should be thanking me."
Alter!Keith: "You don’t remember what happened? Then I’ll write it down."
Alter!Keith: "It’s only a matter of time before you’re recognized as a brilliant prince."
Keith: "Your achievements belong to you. They’re not mine."
Keith: "I’m afraid of your very existence."
Keith: "Get out of me, I’m begging you. This isn’t normal."
Alter!Keith: "You wanted to disappear. Then scram."
Keith: "Truly, you are better than me. You’re nothing like a failure such as myself."
Swapping
According to Keith's "More Love with the Beast" event, the frequency of swapping has increased over the years. It's gone from once a year -> once every six months -> once every few months -> once every few weeks -> once a week -> once every 12 hours. However, I'm questioning the actual frequency in the early years. I think it was more than once a year.
It used to be that Alter!Keith came to the front when Keith was either in very stressful situations or was exhausted. Also in situations that Keith just didn't want to deal with.
However, Alter!Keith has more freedom to swap in by taking advantage of when Keith has a moment of weakness.
Unless Keith's feeling too many negative emotions or is exhausted, or if Alter!Keith "locks" Keith in his mind (a recent development), Keith will "wake up" when Alter!Keith goes to "sleep".
Most of Keith's achievements as a prince can be credited to Alter!Keith.
Memories
Until recently, Alter!Keith was the only one that could see what Keith did and keep memories. Keith would not have memories of what had occurred when Alter!Keith was in front.
For the longest time, the two have communicated through notebooks or passing notes to Liam, their butler.
Along came Emma and things start to change
Emma has caused the swapping to happen more often than usual.
Alter!Keith doesn't fully understand the mechanics of it, but even when Keith isn't feeling any negative emotions, Alter!Keith's able to swap in at will. It's easier to swap whenever Emma's involved and he likes to get in Keith's way.
Keith's able to access what I call his "mental world". It's a forest influenced by his emotions. Alter!Keith accesses this world first after locking Keith away for several days. He wakes up in a dark and rainy forest. The floor is stained red. Most likely the exact spot where Keith's brother died all those years ago. Here, the two Keiths are able to converse.
When Keith and Emma were attacked, and Alter!Keith couldn't find a gap to swap until after Keith collapsed plus Alter not letting Keith out, there's concern about one of them never being able to come back.
Since becoming aware of the forest, Keith's been able to understand what Alter!Keith feels and has caught glimpses of him and Emma interacting. Just like how Alter!Keith's been able to freely swap since getting close to Emma, Keith's feelings for Emma may be allowing him to "see" through Alter!Keith's eyes and keep some memories.
As Keith's mood improves over the course of his route, the forest becomes brighter and more lively. It also reacts to his emotions at the moment, such as a strong gust of wind blowing through the trees when he's mad at Alter!Keith.
If Keith's ever kicked out of the forest while talking to Alter!Keith, he wakes up shouting his last sentence.
Current situation
Keith and Alter!Keith can now swap freely and "lock" the other personality up.
Keith now retains some of Alter!Keith's memories by getting glimpses through Alter!Keith's eyes. They get clearer over time.
The two fight for Emma's affections
Emma falling in love with them
To avoid Emma having to entertain Silvio, Alter!Keith as Keith has Emma be his guide in Rhodolite. As Emma and Keith spend time together, she grows to care for him a lot.
In contrast, she didn't like Alter!Keith because of how he hurt Keith. However, she soon grows fond of him after spending time with him too. He may seem mean, but he does have a kind side to him. Remembering the little things about both her and Keith.
She first tells Keith that she likes both of them, "as people" she clarified internally. Meaning, as friends.
She doesn't admit to herself that she's in love with him until a little later, after she's been avoiding him like the plague since telling him that she liked him. Every time she's with him, her heart races and she grows warm.
She loves Keith's kind and gentle nature. Like he went out of his way to go out at night find a hair accessory she had lost during one of their tours. Or whenever he offers his cape to her when it's cold. She loves Alter!Keith who teases her relentlessly but is also very open with her.
As for how the two fell for Emma? I believe it's because of how she accepts them both and believes in them when no one else will.
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onaperduamedee · 7 months
Text
my scattered thoughts on the finale after a rewatch. I didn't even need to let the episode infuse; I was just basking in the joy. It was thrilling, it was moving, it IS the fantasy I love. I'm so proud of what this show accomplished
- Renna cutting Egwene's hair. Maddie's eyes in that scene... Light
- The flashback of Ishy's imprisonment at the Eye was so good. YES Alexander Karim is incredible. Fares Fares is incredible. I love a good "3000 years ago" Doctor Who title card
- PADAN FAIN MY FAVOURITE LOOSE CANON. His panic when he saw he armed Mat without subduing him had me smirking
- Denial is a river but I'll take Ishy putting all the pieces in place before Falme as proof that the Cairhien train wreck was planned
- Lanfear yeeting Mo and Lan out of the Gateway... enough said
- Loved the way Avi said that many people would wake from the dream. Her tone sounded kind, full of the awareness that many of the people who would die did not choose to fight
- The Mat stuff... Delicious. I had gripes about his arc but they stuck the landing. I adore his shrewdness, his heart, his relief at finding out who he is. And the Horn! I got chills. It looked nothing like I had pictured it but man, I loved it
- Minor thing: I didn't care for the design of the Horn or the blurry motion, but those are strong stylistic choices and I commend the show for making them. This series has a vision and will not settle for generic fantasy look and I LOVE it
- The bond scene got me, truly. I think we all knew that Lan had misinterpreted Moiraine's words but it was nice to get confirmation. I love that it was such a choice to recommit for both of them. The scenery, the music, the weave, the acting...
- When Daniel's face twisted as he was hit with the full force of Moiraine's emotions, I lost it. I cannot believe how good this relationship is. The choice to treat their platonic bond as profoudly as a romantic bond? GENIUS
- I'm fascinated by the way they're depicting Nynaeve's block. It's layered, nuanced, fed by different experiences and traumatic events and makes much more sense than her book block. Zoë portrays Nyn's insecurities SO WELL, it's painful to watch
- I hated that the way of showing Nyn still could be a Wisdom was with her shoving the arrow with the fletching inside Elayne's leg?!?! Remove the large end please!?! Why??!? I winced at that
- Nyn and Elayne's arc was also a miss for me. Since they use the a'dam on a sul'dam, they could figure out as well that sul'dam can channel except we don't see it. So the set-up with Ryma showing them the a'dam leads to nothing for their arc
- Hmmmmmmm, the parallel with the EF5 and the Ishy, Lanfear, Lews bond was perfect. Especially as Rand is part of both groups. Just amazing
- They dress Nyn as a sul'dam to... show that the white character feels bad when Nyn tortures the real slaver? I get the point of the scene for Nyn and Elayne. The optics are just weird for a disguise that does little. Nyn looked so good still!
- Elayne has the patience and control of a mountain though because the situation was extremely tense
- I loved Loial's little speech even if he deserves more screen time: he's right, they are living history. He's a constant delight
- The trope of characters running into each other in the midst of battle is one of my favourites so I was living
- Eggy's arc is so satisfying: from her confrontation with Renna to her getting to protect Rand, she was utterly amazing. As much as I'm disappointed that Nyn and El didn't help here, I appreciate what this isolation is doing for her character
- Will Perrin keep the MAGIC SHIELD? This show is fantasy with all its heart and it's so enjoyable to watch
- Rand finding her broken and exhausted, not even grasping he was here was heartbreaking and gorgeous. Even if they all came to save her, in the end she was alone and had to break herself free. (Also pouring one for Maigan)
- Perrin had the most consistent and enjoyable arc of the EF5. I love everything about the characters he met and who contrast or echo his internal struggles. His horror at Hopper's death and the fury with which he killed Bornhald sr? SO GOOD
- It's so fun that many book readers had theorized Uno would come back as a hero of the Horn and he did!
- Mat has my whole heart too. Truly, the way he cradled Rand in his arms. These kids love each other so much
- Nynaeve watching Rand agonizing, unable to help him. I feel so sorry for her. She needs to rely on others, it's a needed pain here. Still painful though. Contrast that with Moiraine who shut off Lan because she could not protect him
- Moiraine weaving some Greek Fires torpedoes and using the fire of the burning ships to shape a dragon banner was not on my bingo card, but she deserved that after this powerless era. It was so beautiful and cathartic to watch
- I do love Moiraine "I'm not at my strongest with fire" Sedai hurling a giant fireball at an entire fleet. It's a nice way to integrate the scenes of Moiraine creating firewalls and weaving a giant illusion we did not get from book 1
- Love, LOVE the fact that in the end, Lanfear's and Moiraine's goal aligned. Moiraine got to proclaim the Dragon, making history, which Lanfear had planned. Rand will not like that. It's such a good set-up for future conflict between them
- On Rand, for anyone worried about how his powers come off, show-only sister literally just observed that it was funny that he has better control than Nyn who's supposed to be so powerful
- His greatest display of power with Turak is quick, ruthless, perfectly echoing the easiness with which Ishy and Lanfear wields the One Power. It makes sense he would not channel like Eggy and Moiraine, let alone Nyn
- In the end, I love that the show made his standing up and defeating Ishy a collaboration: all of his friends (plus MoLan on the beach) were essential. It was the perfect hopeful counterpoint to the bleakness of the s1 ending (which I loved)
- The Moghedien reveal... That's the second season where they manage to perfectly tease the next season. Now all the Forsaken are loose and the gloves are off.
I loved s1, I really did, but this was even greater. Two years for more is torture
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ystrike1 · 2 years
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Heart Throbbing Conqueror - By 퓨키 (8/10)
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Oh no! I'm trapped in an Otome Game!!! Guess I'll enjoy myself in this stereotypical Pink School! Wait? What's going on? Why do the boys I'm flirting with feel like real people? Why are most of them crazy, or damaged? Who is the final boss that created this world? It's not a dream or a reincarnation story this time. I'm trapped and someone is watching.
Diana is the heroine in pink. She's dreaming. It's a freakishly long dream, about an Otome Game. She loves those and she wants to get a harem. She's beautiful. Everybody is beautiful. This world is perfect. It's set in a rich kid school, and everyone can be romanced. She has the power to see hearts above people's heads. If she gets one that's a friend. Two means the character loves her. Three means they're deeply committed to her.
Such an easy system!
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Everything is easy when you're an Otome Gamer with a ton of experience. Getting the ultra hard harem ending is within our Heroine's greedy grasp. She wants to be adored. She wants to feel superior. She kind of feels like a villain and the way she behaves is super toxic.
Let's see where this goes...
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Cassian is the ideal first target. He falls in love quickly. He's a lonely young man. He feels pressured to act perfect and kind all the time. He's popular and he wishes he had more time to relax. He's also not naive. Diana's greed for a harem is intriguing to him, and she doesn't expect him to act angelic all the time. He agrees to be her boyfriend after a passionate kiss.
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Cassian is step one and he knows it. He's ok with being part of a harem. His long good boy act up until now has exhausted him. He wants to be silly with someone. He's innocent when it comes to romance, but he's willing to try anything with Diana. Why? Why not? She's the female lead and heroine, and her charm is out of this world.
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This is the second member of the....nope...nope. Pan is a creepy yandere who falls for Diana before she even speaks to him. He brings her presents she didn't ask for. He follows her around school. He looks cheerful, but his reputation isn't very good. People keep catching him doing strange things. He likes to hurt animals, and he's quite manipulative. He uses tears to trick people into forgiving him for his violent and forceful behavior.
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Diana smells a rat. She has to confront Pan several times. She even has to be saved by a teacher because he's genuinely dangerous. Pan thinks Diana is his destiny. She thinks she'll love his presents.
Chopped up dove corpses are so romantic, right?
At this point Diana realizes that this game is more complex than it looks. She could stop hunting. She could enjoy her dream relationship with Cassian, but she wants more.
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This is the real second member of the harem. His name is Caesar, but his nickname is Bambi. He's very cute and devoted. He wants Diana to dump Cassian and date him exclusively. He falls for her slowly. He blushes and fumbles alot around her, because he's an awkward and stiff guy. Diana doesn't even like him at first, but she adds him to the harem after his cute side emerges.
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This is Callum. He's a boy that loves cute things and crossdressing. He lies to Diana, and he pretends to be a woman. He's extremely traumatized. His father died shortly after he was born. His mom raised him, and she's awesome. Callum has always loved dresses. He wore them as a young boy, and his mother supported his sewing hobby. Then, his mother remarried. Her new husband had a son from his own previous marriage. Both men looked down on Callum. They called him an abnormal pervert behind his mother's back.
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Callum develops a darker side because of this. He's afraid of being judged for what he likes. He's afraid to express himself. He starts to feel violent and bitter towards his step brother. Diana catches the two brothers fighting. She supports Callum, and guess what his mother does too! She divorces her second husband as soon as she finds out about the bullying.
Now Diana has a third extremely loyal boyfriend.
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Dante is another boyfriend candidate, but he's an adult that works in the school. He's harder to conquer. He's also a doll, who was made by someone else. There's a mastermind behind this pink harem game. That someone can make human dolls. I'm beginning to suspect that this entire setting is made of human dolls. Diana and the nameless puppet master may be the only real people in this dimension.
Why?
How?
That's just a guess. We don't know. The story isn't complete, but there's yandere shit happening everywhere. An ending like that would make this really unique. Diana does like her "boyfriends" but she also thinks she's dreaming. She doesn't really think of them as people. If she finds out that she's trapped she is going to leave. She never intended to stay. Diana does start to care for her harem, but I really would prefer a dark ending for this. Diana is a deeply insincere and manipulative person. Half of everything she says is a "heroine" act. Watching all the boys turn into dolls and fall apart would be a fitting ending. Then, after that she'll have to face the real obsessive mind in charge.
But that's just a theory.
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