#they’re just fucking burnt.
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wow. um. you know you’re traumatized when you see a tiktok of a mom surprising her daughter by being at her wedding dress fitting, and your first thought is “oh ABSOLUTELY not, FUCK that, that would be TERRIBLE.” like. the idea of my mom surprising me by showing up at a wedding dress fitting makes me upset and anxious and just sounds all-around awful. she would be intruding and overstepping her bounds and being presumptuous in that situation. it wouldn’t be cute or funny for me. it would just fucking suck.
#but like. my bio dad or my step dad or any of either of their parents would be fucking AWESOME!!#but like. my mom? or her parents? NO. just NO.#i don’t know man#i have therapy tomorrow#i’ll talk to hayden about it then#but like. it’s all so much.#idk it feels like my relationship with my mom is just crumbling to pieces lately#and it’s not my fault but like. at least when i was still pretending things were fine i could make myself believe that we were okay#now i just keep looking around and seeing how many things aren’t really black#they’re just fucking burnt.#and it sucks you know? that’s my MOM#she’s supposed to be all of these wonderful things#we’re supposed to have such a great relationship#but like. we don’t. we never have. i don’t trust her.#and she’s never hurt me on purpose#but i have to specify ‘on purpose’#whatever. i’m gonna talk with my therapist about it tomorrow.#i’m gonna go make hot chocolate now.#rea rambles
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Drabble 84/366 - Doctor Who
This has never been a problem before, but then, the Doctor has never had a companion whose legs were so tiny.
One moment, Amelia is on his heels. The next, he looks back to see her at the end of the hallway. His screwdriver is in one hand, unlocking the door, but she won’t make it.
The Doctor careens back down the hall, screwdriver between his teeth as he scoops her up, and runs.
A bolt of energy clips his ear. He tucks Amelia’s head down.
“You need longer limbs,” he tells her, “or heelys.” Amelia, safe and sound, laughs.
#spreading my amelia pond travels with the doctor agenda#she’s so tiny doctor!!! she can’t run as fast as you can!!!#writing this and i had to stop halfway theough to fully take in the image of the doctor carrying her like this#scooped up in a hurry so she’s not very well-balanced. screwdriver between his teeth. amelia’s arms around his neck holding on.#tucks her down with a hand on the back of her head so that any projectiles will hit his body and won’t touch her. getting burnt by some#using himself as a shield as he hauls ass to get her to safety.#amelia red-faced and panting from exertion and struggling to catch her breath because she’s laughing hard too from adrenaline and from the#doctor saving her. (moments that absolutely are definitely Not going to affect her worldview and perception of him forever and ever aksjfjf)#most important is the doctor looks back from where they came for just a moment. scary anger in his eyes because how *dare* they shoot at#amelia and don’t they know they’re lucky he doesn’t have *time* to deal with them. because amelia comes first.#u know. u know.#drabble-a-day#drabble-a-day 2024#fanfiction#doctor who#eleventh doctor#the doctor#also for best effect u gotta read his lines all muffled around him still having the fucking sonic in his mouth. <3#amelia pond au#amy pond
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as a russian who doesn't talk to russian people online what the shit is happening there hello
look man i myself have put in the effort to Not talk to online russians for like (checks hand) 7 or so years (of course i’ve met some really great ones but this isn’t about them and they probably know it) but i’m sure the community didn’t change much. actually from the glimpses i see it seems to have gotten worse. don’t even get me startedddddd man
#Like okay first we have the misogynist dudebros. not a category exclusive to online russians but#there are so many it’s fucking crazy. homophobic to hell and back and Will hate on you for no reason#alpha male type mfs who hate women but will still harass them because of course they will#the second category of course is weird unironic fujoshis who are also usually proshippers#and they are either 12 (forgivable) or 25 and the thing is you can NEVER tell. But it’s kind of fucked how#acceptable it is to just straight up fetishize gay men (hell probably not only them) in online russian communities#and listen to me. the secret third category is that there is no third category. Both of these categories are racist#deer was right i have never seen a community more racist or xenophobic than fucking online russians#you draw a character one shade darker than their usual skintone and suddenly you got annoying as fuck russians in your comments going#BRO BURNT IN THE SUNNN 🤣🤣🤣 ENGLISH FANDOM LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE !!! <- in recent times they have taken to blaming the english fandom for#‘wokefying’ their sacred online russian spaces. Of course we can only be woke enough to fetishize gay men. god forbid black people exist#now the actual third category is the online russian tеrf/radfеm community. it seems recent to me but also as i said i have not really#interacted with russian comminity as a whole for a long while. But yea anyways they’re crazy i dont think i have to explain this one#but they’re somehow more evil and miserable than the ones you’re used to#another recent one is the russian twitterians … i’ve only seen glimpses of them as well as i dont use twitter#but you will not believe the shit these mfs try to pull. They try to get you to stop swearing at all bc they find a way to make every#russian swear word offensive. AND they speak fucking … englussian. rusglish. Half of their sentences are just english words written in#russian letters. all the same buzzwords english speaking twitter users like to say!#if you’ve never seen a russian talk about feminization or gatekeeping or being woke or yadda yadda. Well i have#it’s bad. they’re just very very terminally online#and don’t worry the last two categories will also always be racist/xenophobic even if the last one tries to seem Progressive#don’t know if i missed anytning but those are just the Specific Types of annoying asf online russians that i have noticed and have been#observing from a safe distance like a scientist#my point is keep not talking to russian people#cramswering#edit: I FORGOT BUT DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW ONLINE RUSSIANS TREAT TRANS PEOPLE#YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE WAY THEY REACT TO TRANS HEADCANONS IT’S LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD TO THEM. OR TRANS CHARACTERS#OR GOD FORBID ACTUAL REAL LIFE TRANS PEOPLE. it’s actually quite incredible how bigoted online russians are
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questioning my life right now as I’m sitting in the house on a playground because it’s the only dry place close by, with a net of tangerines on my lap and also some cord, trying to tie up those slippery ass tangerines one by one for an art project I’ve procrastinated on for over a month now that has to be finished by today 👍
#not whump#dude if someone#THERES A SQUIRREL#right next to me ANYWAY.#I’m STRUGGLING why are tangerines so slippery#also bro if someone sees me here sitting on the playground tying up tabgerines and using a box cutter they’re gonna call the fucking police#I’m not high I’m just a burnt out art student cut me some slack
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I do wanna be a bit less “I’m getting a good grade in X, which is normal to want and possible to achieve” but god it’s hard. I do want a good grade in work, hobby, friend, apartment, clothes, leisure, self care. I do want a Life Report Card with all As.
#clefairy squeaks#I do wonder about how much like. the current education system fucks up peoples brains#Something something children growing up increasingly supervised#Parents trying to get their toddlers into the best PRESCHOOLS not just like. best toys and nicest building but like. Best outcomes#My four year old cousin gets homework!!! She’s FOUR!!!!#And god I’m like. chill compared to a lot of undergrads I’ve worked with#Like I did get the more neurotic and studious undergrads because they’re the ones who volunteer for extra project work#But like the sheer level of like. Increasing childhood optimisation like. Half of these kids are gonna be burnt out by 25
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.
#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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oh lordy it skitterin
#my art#catch me drawing fucked up little creatures for the first time in like 3 years#even tho they’re one of my fav things to draw#man I just got caught up in commissions#and then suddenly everything I drew was for ponies for people who weren’t me#don’t get me wrong I love being able to make money off of drawing cute horses#like seriously how lucky am I to be able to do that#and also#it’s all i did. for almost 3 years.#and then i burnt out for 2 1/2 months#drawing almost nothing at all#so I’m gonna try to start drawing for myself more#it got to the point where when I wanted to branch out#I had forgotten what I used to draw for fun
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I’m making some frozen croquettes and now I want tater tots. Ah the entering lust for crispy lumps of delicious mushy food.
#they’re meat#didn’t say which kind#just meat#I don’t even care I just really love this deli I order from#they still gonna fuck severely#I made some polish honey mustard and spicy raspberry jam to eat them with#I’m so fancy#I really hope they’re not still frozen on the inside#or burnt#I should probably check on them
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posted on my Twitter but wanted it here too 😐
#and before those of u without reading comprehension sprint into my inbox—it’s OK NOT TO LIKE ASONG. it’s NOT ok to continue to#post about how bad you think it is for months on END recycling the same three ‘jokes’ then turn around and try to call yourself a fan#I didn’t like favorite all that much but I didn’t get on social media every day spewing bullshit because it’s just unnecessary and mean#ALSO sticker was a GREAT song and exactly what 127 is all about and if you disagree you can argue with the wall.#xiami.txt#I’m not even talking about antis here I’m talking about people who said they were 127 stans and then bashed sticker for clout.#like it HURT them they were talking abt just how fucking discouraged they’ve been in that last fill it up ep or whatever…#does it feel good? was it worth it? are you happy now that they’re burnt out and disheartened and unsure if they should even continue?
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My boss asking me to complete my self assessment at 4:45pm on a Friday to prep for a just scheduled Monday performance check in is certainly A CHOICE.
#it’s that time of year#and I know it’s just trying to get it out of the way since they’re giving us two days the next week off#because we’re all ‘fucking burnt out’#but still#at EOD on Friday?
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Every Charlton character has probably had a fight where the person going against them was like “ok this is a C list superhero in a dorky costume I’m good” and then the Charlton started trying to get their thumbs in their eyes
#Sorry saying they’re all fucked up clowns is so funny to me for some reason.#Teds the nicest but Ted would still stab someone in the ear with a pencil#I feel like I need to say I don’t hate Ted I just haven’t read a lot of stuff with him yet. I’m kind of burnt out on JLI#I do wanna get back to it .... I’m almost done with 80s Captain Atom but do wanna look at his other appearances after#Wait that includes JLI.
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Aw man, afternoon shift today
#for some reason they’re harder than morning shifts#they’re just so fucking slow#I’m burnt out ngl#I’ll survive tho#mae rambles
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Constantly 5 seconds away from Kms fr fr
#I’m gonna actually lose it#life sucks ass#sounds like I’m joking but I’m seriously considering it#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw suicide#like life sucks ass I don’t wanna be here tbh 😭#I’ve been living off of daydreams and cartoons#I can’t tell if I’m burnt out haft of the time tbh#maybe it’s just sadness???#like my work isn’t plummeting into hell#but still#I’m like so fuckin tired of it all#honestly don’t know why I still live#i mean I do#but they’re shitty reasons tbh#how many times am I gonna have to deal with the hell that’s life til I can fucking finally escape#feels like everything I do is out of obligation to live and none of it is actually what I wanna do#doesn’t help the fact that I’m growing up and having to deal with even more bullshit in life#like why the fuck would I wanna live when the shit I have to deal with daily is so fucking stressful? fuck that tbh#I think I might just end it one day. it’s not gonna be today tho#maybe not even in a month from now#but one day I think I might snap and fucking shoot myslef#but I’ll probably be in my late 20’s by the time that happens so whatever#depressing shit
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summary: in which you want to turn back the clock and jungkook wants you to stay.
idol!jungkook x reader, est. relationship / angst, fluff / word count: 5.8k
content/warnings: mistreatment of service workers / oc felt inappropriately touched by a customer (only mentioned in passing) / (oc works part-time in a restaurant) (then quits) / another dive into oc’s lore / allusion to death / grief grief grief / lots of crying :( / jk wants to move in together :") / mention of s*x (24/7=heaven?) / mention of period blood (they’re in diff contexts js to be clear lol) / u will get pissed and cry and laugh it’s fun <3
playlist! knees - iu ; chinese satellite - phoebe bridgers ; love wins all - iu
> in which masterlist
note: contains lil flashblacks from the giving up drabbles ^^ can be found in the timeline masterlist above this incase u haven’t read them and want to ^^ listen to love wins all when jungkook tells oc to wear their seatbelt (trust me). tried to encapsulate the epiphany of oh. everything’s going to be okay because i am loved when i’m at my lowest. as always reblogs & feedback are appreciated :") come chat!!
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the rusty swing-set creaks as you unsteadily swing back and forth, staring lifelessly at your white socks and shoes stained with burnt orange. you look up to the sky but the moon and the stars are shrouded by the clouds. not even your favorite snack can poison your sadness with optimism. mouthful of bungeoppang, but you taste nothing, and every swallow only adds to the heaviness weighing on your chest.
your shift should be ending by now, which means you probably should be heading home, but your limbs have given up and refuses to move.
jungkook’s special ringtone ceaselessly disrupts the night scene’s quiet, but there’s no point in answering his calls when you know no words would come out of you.
“are you an imbecile?! you can’t understand basic instructions?!”
“ma’am, i’m so sorry. i’ll take it back and give you the right ord-”
“we’re fucking starving! move faster!”
you flinch as the bowl collides with the tiled floor, producing an ear-splitting sound that reverberates throughout the entire restaurant. you want to give the woman the benefit of the doubt and believe that she just shoved the bowl a little too harshly due to her frustration, but you have a hand over your mouth not due to shock, but the inexplicable pain of having your skin burnt by the piping hot soup… and she’s just… there.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry! please understand. she’s just in a bad mood. she’s not- she’s not usually like this.”
you stand on your spot, frozen and speechless, as her husband profusely apologizes. you’re only jolted out from trance when you feel him wiping your legs with crumpled tissue papers, a little too farther up for your comfort. a fleeting tug-of-war ensues when you forcefully rip them away from his hands. you thank him despite not meaning it.
you grip the edge of your skirt as you sit on your heels, picking up the broken shards of glass scattered across the floor. a concerned co-worker swoops in with a broom and you instantly jump the opportunity to save yourself from the mortifying stares, mumbling another thank you as you take your leave.
“you said table six.”
“____, i’m sorry. that was a fault on my part.”
your manager observes your current state. his stare lingers at your feet.
“but they don’t know that! she literally burnt me!”
“look, we don’t have to take this too far. it couldn’t have been that hot. we can see you’re still walking.” his condescending tone makes you feel so small, but it fuels the anger inside of you. “you don’t have to pay for the damages, so let’s just put this behind us.”
you gasp in disbelief, and it borders on a laugh. you feel crazy. you can’t believe this is actually happening to you. he can’t be fucking serious.
the workers in the kitchen remain quiet as tension arises, minds a tornado of thoughts but mouths remaining shut in fear of getting on the bad side of their superior.
“well you…” you hastily strip off your apron, bunching it up into one big ball. “don’t have to pay me anymore, because i fucking quit! i hope this place burns down!”
and you ensure that it hits him on the face before you turn around to march out of the kitchen. on the way out of the restaurant, you nonchalantly grab a bottle of water from the fridge, twisting off the cap as you push the door open. you leave a wet trail behind your steps as you pour the cold water over your feet, a poor attempt to soothe the sharp pain of the injury.
you know it will be alright eventually; you will heal, but this… this is leaving a permanent scar on your dignity.
with a vexed groan, you retrieve your vibrating phone from your pocket.
LAST EVICTION NOTICE— you do not even bother reading the rest of the words that come after that.
“fuck!” you scream, throwing the bottle at the nearest wall, hands coming up to your hair to roughly pull in frustration. the heels of your palm dig into your eyes and your knees give way to the ground. “this is a nightmare.”
it dawns on you that you’ve finally arrived at a surface on the rock bottom that you so awfully dread. you find yourself standing here— infront of the atm machine, staring blankly at the large number displayed on the screen. this money isn’t yours. this didn’t come from your blood, sweat, and tears. it’s an amount that you’re supposed to accept as a payment for the eulogies you had to deliver. you swore you would never do this, but desperate times come when you’re forced to swallow your pride and allow it to rot you from the inside.
you’re once again faced with the ugly difference between surviving and living.
you grab the cash, hastily pushing them inside the pocket of your jacket as if you’re being burnt by them. you feel so nauseous; if only emptying your stomach would untangle its knots.
you don’t need anything from anyone. this is the first and the last time, you swear to yourself in place of your defeated oath.
you don’t want jungkook to see you like this, helpless and hollow, the antonym of the sun he willingly flew too close to. you look pathetic seeking for solace in an abandoned playground, unfortunate soul stuck at fifteen, in denial of the passage of time.
but there goes your lover running towards you, calling out your name, and you begin praying for yourself to disappear into thin air.
much to your disappointment, no wiser being grants your plea, and now you have a man tucking you in his safe embrace, uncaring of his knees being bruised by the ground.
does he need to surprise you when you least anticipate his presence?
“i’ve been looking everywhere for you! i went to pick you up at the restaurant but they told me that you quit! what happened?”
he pulls away, tenderly cupping your cheeks in his warm hands.
“was it your boss again? it’s him, isn’t it? what did he do?”
jungkook dies a little inside. your glassy eyes study his face, a clear picture of distress and concern, but at the same time, they seem so far away… like you’re not certain if you’re truly here.
you unconsciously squirm— your feet retract themselves, escaping underneath the swing; and your ankles twist, and twist, one hiding behind the other.
this doesn’t feel like being stripped naked.
you feel like you’re being turned inside out.
“what’s wrong? baby…” he utters sadly as tears drip from your lashes—one by one— even they are lost and hesitant.
your distant stare remains.
he doesn’t know if you’re even aware that you’re crying. it’s a frightening sight and he doesn’t know what else to do. he holds you in his arms but you feel too stiff for this to be comfortable. the time passes, and he lets it do so in silence.
he waits for you to come back to him.
he waits, and waits, and waits.
“jungkook… i want to go home.”
“okay. i’ll bring you home, baby.” he strokes your hair, breathing out in relief. “yours? or mine?”
only for his world to crumble into pieces.
“my mom…” you whisper, breathless, releasing yourself from his embrace. “i want to be with my mom.”
and only then does he see traces of emotions written on your face.
“i miss my mom so much.”
the crack of your voice gives him an opening to catch a glimpse of your heart, that is but a mosaic of broken parts. pain, grief, longing… the past two years haven’t been enough to make him well-acquainted with the anatomy of your afflictions. he has only witnessed you speak of your family with a proud and affectionate beam; old stories that spark the agent of joy. and despite knowing that you must’ve been battling your pain all these years all alone, he couldn’t bring himself to meddle with how you handled your grief. however, if he’s going to be completely truthful, he was terrified of this— of seeing you so unmoored and broken. his pain is no comparison. quite frankly, it is an insult to yours.
“i miss her so, so, so much. what do i do? i…” you sobs become uncontrollable, overcome by the weight of the world crashing down on you.
how is it possible that you feel nothing and too much at the same time? is what you would often ask before, but today you realize that your pain simply goes beyond what any of your human parts is able to fathom.
“this is too hard… it’s too tiring. i can’t- i can’t. i don’t want to be here anymore. i’m always so scared. i don’t know what i’m doing anym-”
“shh, shhh, baby- baby, breathe for me-”
“how did my life end up like this? i don’t understand! the world- it’s so cruel- i can’t stand it.”
jungkook wipes away your tears, but it’s no use. once you break down, it becomes impossible to remedy. nonetheless, that doesn’t deter your boyfriend from trying. he gathers your weeping and trembling vessel in an attempt to glue you back together, and in while doing so, he also wills himself to be strong for you.
“why did she have to go after them and leave me all alone here? am i not her child too?”
the obtuse questions you’ve been too afraid to ask out loud are being brought out in the open, spilling out from the torn seams of your soul as they’ve become too agonizing to annihilate over and over and over again.
you know the answer. you know she didn’t want to leave.
but you can’t help but to be angry at the fact that her heart gave up. you don’t understand why it had to happen and why you’re being grinded in the mouth of the world.
“i’m tired, i’m so tired. it’s so unfair… i need her with me too…”
jungkook squeezes his eyes shut, gently rocking your tangled bodies — a defense mechanism. you’re succumbing to defeat as if it’s been long overdue; even your voice is giving up on you.
if he had to imagine, the earth must have shared his current dread when it witnessed a solar eclipse for the first time, wired to assume the worst of perpetual darkness.
“jungkook…”
your weak fists desperately grasping at the fabric of his hoodie— the final thread you are hanging on. your words break into stutters and hiccups, salty tears slipping past your lips and stirring their bitter taste.
“i just want to go and be my mom’s child again.”
and he would truly fucking hate to try and get into the implication of your words, but if jungkook is going to be completely truthful— he is terrified beyond words can say. of this; of witnessing you slip away from everything you’ve ever known; of losing you. maybe he’s being selfish, but whatever it takes, he will make you stay.
he swallows the lump in his throat, hurriedly drying his eyes with his sleeve before facing you.
“listen to me, okay…?” his voice isn’t enough to pull your head from underwater; he lightly taps your cheek, even though it breaks his heart. “hey, hey, hey. look at me, baby- look at me.”
he searches for your eyes, begging them to focus on him. and it’s silly, what he does next, pressing a kiss to your lips as if this is a fairytale. but then it works— you tilt your head to subtly nuzzle your cheek against his palm— and he has to quickly recover from being taken aback. you effortlessly make a slave out of his heart.
“you never stopped being her child. and that will never happen! because even with them being gone, you haven’t stopped trying your best to be a good child and older sibling to them. i… i’m a witness to that. every single day. are you hearing me?”
can he get some sort of sign whether he is doing this right or wrong?
“you’re not alone here because you have me. you do know that, right?”
and you want to believe him… you do. but just like how you’re clinging onto him right now for dear life, you can’t forget how you had to beg him to stay.
“so stop working all these jobs! please, i’m begging you! it must also break your mom’s heart to see you torturing yourself like this. it’s not healthy! just focus on studying and let me take away your burdens, please?”
you stop breathing; your features soften like you’ve made it out of a nightmare.
“jungkook…”
“let’s live together, baby.” he sounds sure; he sounds steady, but the waver of his eyes beseeches you. “you’ve been so good to me, even when i didn’t deserve it. please… let me love you in my own way too.”
“stop. i told you… i’m still thinking about it.” you say meekly, avoiding his intense gaze. “i mean, let’s be honest. what would your family even think of me? your aunt already hates me. what if she uses this to prove that she was right about me and-”
“fuck what everyone else thinks. i couldn’t care less.”
the reminder of the disrespect you were subjected to because of him has him seething all over again. his jaw clenches in anger, and he feels obligated to take a deep breath so he can keep himself composed. growing up, he was always taught to be the bigger person, but he simply can’t implore himself to do that if it means turning a blind eye to your hurt.
“i won’t let her get away with that type of bullshit so don’t even bother thinking about her anymore. i’ll take care of it. we can’t let that get into our heads. right, baby? we said that?” his thumb caresses your cheek softly, and you hold on to his wrist, silent as you try to understand him through the thick haze clouding your mind. “i want to be with the person i love. how could that be so wrong?”
you slowly shake your head in response, a little hesitant.
“i won’t leave again. no matter how hard you push me away, i will stay within your reach.”
and here he is, kneeling infront of you, seeking to make true of what he solemnly vowed to you.
are you going to take this away from him? after everything you’ve gone through together?
he is the only thing you have left to lose.
“i love you.” you whisper, initiating the hug this time.
you’re holding him tight, like you don’t ever want to let go, and it brings jungkook to the brink of tears once more.
“i love you so much.”
he sweetly kisses your cheek, but when you pull away to give him that look, a wordless command for more, his lips finally meet yours for the first time in forty-eight hours. they slowly curve into a smile, not at all surprised that he’s tasting sugar. he’d go through hell and back to experience this kind of kiss one time, only to do it all over again.
“let’s go home?”
you blink at him cluelessly. you don’t know why he’s wearing a dimpled smile out of the blue, neither do you know which home he is referring to. nevertheless, you intertwine your fingers with his, choosing to save yourself from this forlorn neverland.
there’s just… one teeny… tiny problem…
“shit,” you mutter to yourself, freezing on your tracks.
“what’s wrong?”
you awkwardly glance down at your shoes, the origin of the squeaky sound that was impossible to be missed by your ears. after inspecting you from head to toe, a worried expression morphs on his face, and you can only show him a shy wince in response.
“i don’t want to make your car dirty.”
“baby…”
his chest feels so much heavier. he is nearly blinded with red. he wants to scream and be infuriated. what the fuck happened back there?
you merely shrug, sending him a forced smile. “do you still have those extra slippers?”
—
“jungkook, i can do it myself.”
he clicks his tongue, his hand around your calf gripping. “stay still!”
you watch him from the passenger seat, your legs dangling from the edge as he carefully takes off your shoes and socks, yet again kneeling on the ground.
“does it hurt a lot?”
“not… a lot.” you answer through gritted teeth.
perhaps the stinging never did quell; it was just pushed to the back of your mind when more painful things surfaced succeeding it.
“who did this to you, huh? i need to go back there and make them pay! what kind of decent human being would do that?!”
“a miserable woman in a miserable marriage.”
in her eyes, you may be naive and she, the decades old wiser— but who is the one with a lover who would wash not their dirty hands, but their feet that have walked a million miles?
“i feel bad for her.” you comment absentmindedly.
you’re too far deep in awe watching jungkook gingerly clean your bare feet with his hands and a bottle of cool water, doing what you were meant to do earlier, if only granted that you weren’t erupting with rage.
“____, you’re too nice.”
“you’re too nice.” you argue. “also, those shoes are hopeless. just throw them away.”
he glances at you with fondness, shaking his head as he softly pats you dry with a clean towel. you stifle a gasp. it’s no longer as bad as before, but your skin still feels warm and raw. this wasn’t in the job description. you decide that you can practice empathy, as well as your strong belief in karma, at the same time. at this moment, you hope that the universe is already crafting tricks up its sleeve, because you’re in a world of fucking pain.
“there you go. wait until we get off the car before you wear the slippers, alright? and you’re not allowed to wear tight shoes.”
he rises to his feet, not wasting the opportunity to steal a kiss.
“yeah, it was wildly uncomfortable.” you mumble against his lips, tugging at his collar to properly respond to his display of affection. “thank you.”
“wear your seatbelt.” his eyes shines with a glint of with uncontainable excitement. “we’re going home.”
—
you stir as jungkook gently shakes your body awake, his muffled voice gradually becoming clearer as you gain your consciousness.
“wake up, baby. we’re here.”
you tiredly rub off the sleep from your swollen eyes, discovering your boyfriend waiting for you where the door of the passenger seat should be.
“let’s get you some more rest.” he places a chaste kiss on your forehead, before standing aside to make way for you, offering his hand as a gentleman.
you must still be dreaming. you assumed he would bring you to his apartment, but you do not recognize this place. this is a different parking space, a different parking lot.
“um… t-this is…” you stumble on your words, feeling lost. “where are we?”
“home,” he smiles, the kind that reaches his eyes and turn them into little crescent moons.
you must still be dreaming. the clock attached to a nearby pillar strikes midnight, and unbeknownst to you, a brand new day awaits beyond the dark and empty sky.
you were so thoroughly convinced that you’ve been living a life past the point of salvation… but life stands before you overflowing with hope and glowing with ardor.
you take his hand and allow him to whisk you away to another world.
—
this is beginning to feel real, jungkook thinks as he presses the elevator button. earlier’s excitement becomes interweaved with nervousness. he’s a little dizzy as the giant box ascends. if you feel his hand’s growing clamminess, you don’t show it, your clasp still as firm as before.
“you bought another house…”
“hmm, but this one is a secret.” a confession that is yours truly. “this one is ours.”
your eyes wordlessly speak with each other. neither of you imagined following your hearts could materialize your future plans to the present time. what goes beyond dreaming of beautiful things is still foreign to the both of you, but jungkook is here, willing to free fall with you.
the elevator dings.
he guides you through a well-lit hallway, to a door, and you pay close attention as he punches in the passcode— another set of numbers you ought to have memorized alongside birthdays and anniversaries and id numbers.
your heart races but everything else moves in slow motion. the door opens and you get swallowed by the need to remember every moment so vividly as if you’re reliving it.
the first time you set foot into your own apartment,, the empty space daunted you despite its modest dimensions. however, right now, your head is tracing half of a circle, from left to right, just to study this large space in its entirety— and all you can think about are the endless possibilities forming intimate images of a sanctuary in your head— a place where fears and sadness can co-exist with tenderness and joy.
beside you, jungkook patiently holds your hand.
“this one is ours…” you repeat the words, more so to convince yourself, and they drip with disbelief.
you follow his lead as he walks to the other half of the room, bare feet sliding across the floor.
“this is the living room, and the other side is the kitchen.”
he faces you with a wide grin, the kind he wears when he wants to tell you something he is proud of.
“i was thinking that if we get a big television bolted on the wall…”
he gestures to the blank canvas, letting go of your hand to draw an invisible rectangle on the air with his arms fully outstretched.
“then we can easily watch even from the kitchen.”
he puffs up his chest, side-eyeing you expectantly.
“genius, right?”
“and greedy.” you blink. “i don’t think that’s safe to do while you’re cooking.”
“but i’ll be very, very careful!”
“that’s the bare minimum when you’re holding a knife.”
“okay! i look forward to arguing with you about that on a different day!”
his enthusiasm doesn’t waver. in fact, it is fueled. how could it not? when you’re starting to sound exactly like a couple who lives together?
he captures your wrist and tugs you towards the other side of the room, but you pull him back with a noise of protest.
“are we not going to address…” you hang on to your words, eyes wandering to the floor where there are signs of living. “whatever is going on here?”
a single mattress with a single pillow; a folded blanket neatly sitting on top of it. surrounding them are bottles of water, a laptop, a speaker, and a basket of what you assume are skincare products.
“i’ve been sleeping here lately…”
“i can see that.”
“i didn’t want to buy furnitures yet while you haven’t given me an answer… i just thought that if we’re living together, then we should decide on those things as a couple.”
…he dips down to kiss you. “it was hell without you…”
his teeth captures your bottom lip, nipping at the supple flesh.
“going to build a life with you. i’ll build furniture, and they’re going to be ours.”
jungkook feels your stare. oblivious of your thoughts reigning chaos, he tilts his head in question.
how long has he been planning this?
“you okay?”
you blink away the tears brimming your eyes. you shake your head, clinging to his arm. “where were you taking me?”
“this is the kitchen!”
a smile of contentment graces your lips. you’re guilty of admiring the pure, unadulterated joy on jungkook’s face instead of what he is passionately endorsing to you.
“this is the fridge!” he presents to you, swinging the door open. “but there’s nothing inside.”
“what are you saying? there is something.”
the two of you peer at the green can of soda, chilsung cider, left at a far corner. the refrigerator light casts over your curious faces.
“oh, that’s still there?”
the animated sound of your giggles prompts him to look at you, and he couldn’t be more glad to be laughing with you again, bellies aching at the same time.
“do you want it?”
“it’s not peach.”
“let’s move on then!”
there are cups of ramyeon and packs of dried seaweed on the countertop, the photo of his dinner that he sent last night still vivid in your memory. your hand daintily brushes across the white marble, stealing a feel as jungkook drags you to a new space.
“this is the second kitchen and laundry room!”
he waits for a reaction as you survey the room and its overhead cabinets.
“it’s not supposed to be the pantry…? eh, you know what? cooking and doing laundry are more of your thing so you can have them however you want.”
you turn on your heel to walk away, and jungkook follows behind you, celebrating his victory by punching the air and whisper-shouting a yeah!
“what’s here?”
you reach another hallway beside the living room.
“what’s here?” he zooms past you to open a door. “bathroom. there’s a bathtub! but i still need to install grip bars so no one will slip.”
he needs to stop saying things that make you want to make him your husband on the spot.
“and we have my favorite part! the master bedroom, of course!” he swings the door open on the other side. “where else would we spend the most time in?”
“wow, really? i thought you were also endorsing the living room as the bedroom.” you jokingly quirk an eyebrow.
“nonsense!” he cheekily chides you. “you deserve better than that.”
you take a step, peeking inside the empty room that you estimate to be as twice as larger than yours. you can’t say that you care so much about its size, because behind the white curtains, you reel at the prospect of the natural light shining over your face every time you wake up. your mornings have been gloomy since you arrived at seoul four years ago.
he sneaks his arms around your waist, your back resting against his chest, and your being feels so light you might just begin floating when he lets go.
“let’s stay like this for a while.”
“okay,” he puts his chin on top of your shoulder, his soft smile becoming permanent.
the two of you stand at the bedroom’s doorway; the cusp of what could be your entire lives.
“what’s that other room?”
“which one?”
“i don’t know. i see it from the side of my eye.”
he cackles at your humorous nonchalance. “i have more to show you. there’s a guest room… if we decide it to be.”
“cute. i have somewhere else to sleep when i’m mad at you.”
“that’s fine,” he replies after a beat of silence. “at least i’d know where to find you.”
“don’t make me change my mind.”
he cries out your name childishly, burying his face by the crook of your neck. he hugs you tighter. he wants to sleep every night drowning in the sweet scent of your hair. if he had to choose, it would be the most peaceful way to go.
“we have a walk-in closet too!”
“i expected nothing less.” you giggle, not a stranger to his lifestyle. “what’s exciting is that we can finally have a big bed.”
“but i like our small beds.”
“cuddling isn’t all that fun during the summer. trust me, you’d eventually want space.”
“nuh-uh! that’s what aircons are for!”
you roll your eyes at his persistence. “then why did you choose such a huge apartment if you wanted a small bed?”
“so we can have all the space to slow-dance to love songs.”
jungkook, ever the charmer. the butterflies in your stomach come alive beneath his embrace.
“why are you suddenly quiet?” he laughs. “was that too cheesy?”
“no!”
“really?” he spins you around, and heat creeps to your cheeks when he leans in so close that you can perfectly distinguish the brown in his eyes. “so have you given it more thought?”
“given what more thought?”
“there’s nothing to be scared of. it’s only the two of us here, see?” he tells you like overeager puppy. “will you move in with me?”
if this is a dream, you wish to never wake up from it. to have a person care for you this deeply and unconditionally, you want to believe that you have done something right to deserve it.
“i just don’t think you understand what you’re getting yourself into.”
his eyebrows knit together in defense. “what does that mean?”
“the thing is… yeah, sex 24/7 and cuddling and having first times together, that sounds amazing and all… but living with me would probably drive you crazy.”
a tired yawn almost interrupts the end of your sentence, and you cover your face out of courtesy. you sniffle and wipe your teary eyes with the back of your hand.
“i’ve lived on my own for so long. i’m messy and clumsy and i’m used to having everything my way… i mean… i’m willing to compromise, but i can’t promise i won’t be insufferable as hell about it.”
“ah, seriously! you scared me for nothing!” he exclaims, throwing his head back with a groan. “baby, i’ve been living with six other men for the past decade. you know that there was a time when we even slept together in one small room. can you imagine how that must’ve been like for a bunch of teenage boys…? you? messy? think about it again. living with you can’t possibly get worse than that. you don’t have to worry about me! really, i can take it! watch me!”
“but i bleed every month.”
“i’m a man. seeing a little blood doesn’t faze me.”
you make a face. “it’s actually a lot.”
“yah, why are you acting like we haven’t been together for two years?”
“it’s different living together!”
“it’s only natural! i don’t care!”
a noise of complaint bubbles in your throat when he shakes you by your shoulders, coaxing you with an whiny “please baby.”
your chest deflates in defeat. “sure, i guess… as long as we have the big bed, and the slow-dancing-”
“done!” he doesn’t waste his breath, not keen on wasting this opportunity. “anything you want, you have it!”
you narrow your eyes. “and i’ll keep my tutoring job.”
“will you punch the next guy that insists you study at his dorm for me?”
“or i can just keep saying no firmly, baby boy.”
and with that pet name, he instantly folds. “okay.”
“okay?”
“okay, since that’s the only one that you genuinely like.”
“you-” your teeth unconsciously finds your bottom lip to dig into, and you inhale sharply. “…you really love me, don’t you?”
suddenly, you’re raising your voice and waving your hands in the air. you’re feeling too many emotions at once; it’s like when you mix all the colors in a palette and end up creating black. you’re angry and happy and you may be fucking crying again.
“you were just picking up speakers one night and a pretty stranger offers you some boring food and now you want to be stuck with me forever?”
your fist throws a restrained punch to his chest, shoving him backwards.
“oh my god, you’re so stupid!”
jungkook finds this too amusing, tries to hide that he is enjoying this but a smirk is plastered on his face.
“you are loved by so many,” he brushes away the hair that has fallen over your eyes. he tucks them behind you ears and tenderly holds your face in his warm hands. “but i’m confident that i love you the most.”
you are the muse in his dreams. your perfume clings to his clothes. you make him the happiest man on the planet and your pain torments him. what is this, if not love?
“and if that makes me the stupid one? then so be it.”
“when did it become a competition?”
“since you got yourself a competitive boyfriend!”
“okay, fine! let’s make it my fault!”
you throw your arms around his neck, peppering kisses all over his face until he’s an uncontainable giggling mess.
“i’m drowning in kisses! nobody help!”
and you hope you’re hugging him close enough that he can feel the love and gratitude flowing through your veins. your eyes flutter shut, and you sigh— tranquility triumphs over chaos.
“are you falling asleep standing up again?”
“no!” you blatantly lie, drawing back with innocence masking your drowsiness. “we still need to go online shopping!”
“what are we buying?”
your face lights up. “appliances first?”
“appliances?” he cheerfully says. “sure! let’s get you new shoes too!”
as he gets dragged to the living room where his laptop is, he mumbles something with an enamored expression. “i should keep working hard.”
—
“yah, why are looking at me like that?” jungkook chuckles upon feeling your poorly concealed stare, diverting his attention away from the laptop over his stomach. “i’m the real deal. the tv is over there, on the screen.”
“just because…”
you snuggle closer to his side, heart fluttering when his arm that is your pillow moves to also hold you. you don’t really mind a small bed. this is the most favorable consequence a nuisance could have.
“i feel sorry.”
“sorry? for what?”
“because i made you sad, didn’t i? i hate that so much.” you sniffle, hand coming up to pat his cheek affectionately. “i know it must be hard for you too.”
“you’re the one who’s in a lot of pain.” he means to firmly speak, but the tremble of his voice rudely refuses to cooperate. “how could you even think of me feeling sad?”
“because i love you. of course i always think of you.” you argue, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. “i can’t do that now?”
he sighs. “you know that’s not what i meant.”
a kiss is planted on your forehead— tender and cherishing.
“let’s be happy, baby.”
the sharp edges of jungkook’s fears are eroded in a way. in a universe that relentlessly challenges you to be optimistic, your heart that is well-versed in loving continues to rise above it all.
you echo his words wistfully. “let’s be happy.”
—
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
—
#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook one shot#jungkook imagine#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook au#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#bts fluff#bts reaction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut
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hihi clari, hope you've been having a wonderful day so far 💕 i was thinking, did u pull for ajax? :o
hi sweetpea!!! <33 aw thank you so much, i wish the same to you!! eee unfortunately i fell off the genshin train months ago and haven’t played since :/ i’d like to get back into it but the fandom fucking sucks and i find that it makes it really difficult for me to enjoy the game. i hate hate hate letting a fandom ruin something i love, and there are bad apples in every single community ever, but i find the genshin fandom to be so full of toxicity and hatred no matter where you turn or how rigorously you curate your online experience that it’s just soured the entire game for me ._.
it’s also such a fucking time sink and since i’ve moved out i really wouldn’t have had much time to sit down and play past doing dailies every day, which becomes so exhausting and boring after a while :( hopefully one day i can get back into it, because i miss it, and i miss playing with annie even more, and i did love the game with every fiber of my being, but i think for now i’ll just be stepping away from that whole community.
#those are my personal feelings on it#seriously fuck the genshin fandom#everywhere you turn it’s someone getting mad at someone else for the dumbest reasons#people just love to start drama over there like i feel like they’re always looking for reasons to get pissed off at each other#i want this to be a relaxing hobby and like *obviously* i don’t have to interact with the community at all#but it’s like even looking at fucking fan art there’s negativity EVERYWHERE idk idk#i also just started to feel like ????? burnt out i guess#and that’s scary considering i still have so much content to play and catch up on#it’s like fuck if i’m feeling burnt out after only a month or two how am i supposed to play this entire game???#anyway now i’m rambling lmao#i have a lot of feelings on this and i’m really upset over it#the burn out and the time sink is also why i’m terrified of starting ffxiv lol#so we’ll see!!#i am sending u tons and tons of love n health sweet anon!!! <33#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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Hurt/Comfort Dialogue
Some of these are found all over tumblr. And my apologies for not posting.
"Hey- no, no. It’s okay, cry it all out. I’m here for you"
"I’ll stay by your side for the whole time" "Promise?" "Of course darling, Promise"
"When’s the last time you actually slept?"
"Just breathe, it’ll be over soon"
"Everything will feel that it’s not okay, but— don’t forget, you’re not alone this time"
"I’m sorry—" "No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault"
"I’m here, and will be by your side"
"You can’t hide that fever from me"
"You’re safe now"
"Calm down, you’re burning up"
"I’m open for hugs, whenever you need them!"
"I know it hurts, but just hold on a little longer!"
"Let me take care of you this time"
"Stop pretending that you’re fine! You need first aid!"
"You’ve always been there for me, now, it’s my turn to be there for you"
"Why?" "Because you mean the world to me,"
"Listen to me! Fuck what they think! Because you are perfect! You hear me?"
"You’re not useless"
"Take these meds, they’ll help"
"I’m not leaving, okay?"
“Don’t pretend you’re okay. Please, don’t lie to me, because I know you’re not okay!"
Prompts
Making them warm soup, and taking care of them, as if they were glass
Asking them every two minutes if they need something
Holding their hand once the pain becomes unbearable
After a long day they’re burnt out, and finds their partner making dinner for them both
Treating to their partner/friend’s wounds
Giving them meds for the pain
Refusing to leave because you can see past them, and knowing they’re sick
Pretending to be fine after a small incident, and their partner/friend asks them what’s wrong, which flips the switch and they can’t stop crying. And eventually tell their partner/friend about it
Going out to buy their favourite snacks
Giving the other hugs
Not letting go of the others hand
#imagine your otp#otp promts#writer prompts#your otp#fanfic writer#fanfiction writer#otp ideas#otp writing#comfort#story prompt#writing community#hurt/comfort#fluffy prompts#prompts list#sentence prompts#otp prompts
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