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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said.

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath.

“You okay?”

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said.

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders.

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased.

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said.

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head.

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled.

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly.

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it.

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...”

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath.

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids.

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed.

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said.

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you.

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple.

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut.

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said.

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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promptsausandshit · 3 years

Text

Picture this; #411

A Month of LGBT+ Prompts;

(Note; While the goal is to do one a day, please go at your own pace, this is for fun after all!)

1. She had not been keen to go bowling with some strangers but now she couldn’t take her eyes of the girl in the 80′s get up and couldn’t care less if she missed every time.

2. Coming out to via interior decoration wasn’t the first option they would have gone with but their best friend had at least made it tasteful.

3. Unknown to most, the lead singers of supposedly rival bands are all members of the same polycule, several of their biggest hits are about each other.

4. “Have you seen my partner? About so high, questionable fashion sense, likely holding a dog and laughing maniacally.”

5. A shoal of trans mers have decided to take in this lost werewolf as one of their own.

6. Engineer was excited to reveal the upgraded prosthetic he had designed for his boyfriend.

7. Adoption was thrilling as it was nerve-wracking, even more so when several of your kids weren’t human with varying levels of understanding of gender.

8. “Be warned, the first time I talked to him I realised I wasn’t straight, so if you’re not ready to potentially be hit with sudden realisation you might want to take a minute.”

9. They freaking loved the fashion of this planet, their fabric shifted shape, style and colour according to the wearers mood and preference, meaning their days of fussing in front of a mirror were over.

10. Bi lovers bemoan how oblivious their collection of friends and former crushes are to their charming nature.

11. They loved their team mates, they really did, but not enough to deal with all of them being so nosy and doing poor job of hiding to spy on their first date. Luckily their date had a plan.

12. A prince sent on a mission to save a princess from an evil king ends up in an unlikely alliance with said kings son, soon enough their partnership becomes a lot closer than either expected.

13. “The only binary I follow is that of 01010011 01010100 01000110 01010101.”

14. Social awkward lesbian just really wants to be able to give the lead actress a bouquet and ask her out like a normal person.

15. A battered ragdoll becomes enamoured with a cracked porcelain doll.

16. Single mother regularly buys new books for their child from a particular book store so she can talk a little longer with the writer that often hangs around the cooking section.

17. Just the daily lives of an aromantic god of love, the asexual god of lust and the pansexual god of death as they observe their favourite mortals.

18. It had been three years since they had completed the transition, and now he was was going to ask the best woman in the world to be his wife.

19. “Thankyou for trusting me and know my love for you is unchanged, but don’t think that suddenly coming out is enough to distract me from that portal in the kitchen.”

20. Old painter loves to give out free face painting sessions during Pride, individualising each design to give each costumer a little special encouragement.

21. They had been peacefully driving their ship around the solar system when suddenly their was a star skinned person stuck to their window and staring at them.

22. Of all the universes they could have been transported to it was that of a dating sim, well, time to set up this assortment of strange characters with people that were actually interested in that sort of thing.

23. The princess has become infatuated with the local bog witch, at least they’re not evil this time.

24. Labels never really suited them, each day their feelings and preferences shifted around making it impossible to simplify it to one category, so they stuck to collecting clothes that had suitable quotes to define their self for the day.

25. Superhero is delighted to find out that their boyfriend got the staring role for the latest superhero movie.

26. Music shop owner can tell when confused and questioning kids need a little motivation and suggests particular musicians and albums they think will make them feel less alone.

27. Genderfluid skeleton ends up working as a model for a photographer, allowing for them both to express themselves through art.

28. “Oh right, I have a daughter now, turns out she was the one whose been swiping my hair pins. We’re going shopping this weekend.”

29. Getting lost in the woods isn’t all that bad when a cute hiker finds you and lets you hold their hand so you won’t get lost again.

30. Dragons love drag queens, they’re always so shiny and colourful.

31. How do two characters fitting the con artist and the wise fool archetypes fall in love in an office setting?

Completion Bonus!;

Do a one shot or a sketch for something you love that you haven’t had the chance to do for a while! Or read one chapter of an unfinished story! Or watch one episode or movie of that thing you like! Satisfy whatever urge you have right now, you have all the time in the world for this so relax and treat yourself, you did great!

#prompts #prompt #writing prompt #drawing prompt #art prompt #au #alternative universe #fanfiction prompt #writing ideas #art ideas #promptsausandshit #month challenge #Month Challenges #Month of prompts #lgbt+#way too many options to tag here so just going with the general one #pride

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wordsinwinters · 3 years

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Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color.

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain.

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them.

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself.

Okay.

Alright.

No distractions.

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal.

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way.

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them.

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again.

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two.

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too.

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat.

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?”

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times.

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us.

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second.

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one.

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?”

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents.

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing.

Flash nodded.

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started.

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god.

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp.

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake.

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition.

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

Tag List: If you’d like to be tagged, send me a(n) ask/message or reply* to this post!

*Notice: If you reply, I may not respond back; if you need/want confirmation, send me an ask/message instead :) Also, there are a few blogs whose tags aren’t working and I haven’t been able to contact them. For the time being, I removed most of the dead tags. If you weren’t tagged and should have been, or if you’ve changed your url, send me a quick message and I’ll put you on my message list!

Tagged: (If I’m missing anyone, send me a message!) @spideymood @solarspidey @tiffanypooh @carrotsunshine @breebree1198 @idontlooklikereginageorge @stumb1ing @bit-bot0711 @justthatshortlittlenerd @avzuzu @melonmochi @happysynonym @the-redthread @i-love-superhero @ohgloryyy-blog @nicunty @pxrrished @shugr12110629 @realitykilledtheteen@thehanneloner @lionfart @tryn25 @slythergirlimagines@twentyjuanpancakes @littlekay15 @hi-mishamigos @eversweet-imagines @thisisthetragicstoryofme @augurydemon@daisy-john @siriuspadfoot14 @debiwolf-t @casual-vaporwave@swimmeranxiety @dangerousluv1 @ghosthiam @homecomjng @deep-thoughts-in-the-shower @bughead-isendgame @qu3en-of-letters @brightcolorsoffendme @cutehollands @enoumen-t @dottirose @justthatshortlittlenerd @thatgirlthatlikesmarvel@moonofmy-life @royal1958 @ashleyhearto @pinkleopardss @cutie1365 @spideyschmood @dragoste-lunes @peterparkley @gold-masks @stonesandskeletonbones @myhealingstar @a-typical-antisocial-fangirl @love-and-protect-bucky-barnes@fangirldreamsandstuff @fandom-stuff @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @jellzu @aussie-mantle@stevieboyharrington @septicquill @thingfromlove @dude-whatawave @me-a-hopeless-romantic @condy-wants-a-cookie @susurrantsoul @kawaii-girl-101 @lxstneverfound @ukulele-tea-and-ocean @tepidtrash @emilymarie0422 @styles-bucks@shortstack-ofpancakes @lilbeatlebear @imyourdadssideblog @the-introverted-loner-art @marvelcuties @lesdragly @atomic-chickenwings @reanne @schwankyblock @nedthegay @kateelyse96@outsider-underwater @omg-lexiloveyou @le-yona @desteweirdo@thingfromlove @madasameg @bookish-and-shy @lowkeyfriggason @arya-and-sansa @hot-pocket01 @icantthinkofanyusername0 @ajkenwo

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #marvel imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman x you #peter parker #tom holland

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colorfultrashcrusade · 3 years

Text

Who knew

THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO AND I WANTED TO POST SOMTHING FOR CALUMS BIRTHDAY. I know its not good grammar and all that but if I'm being honest I didn't want to edit it. Spacing it correctly was enough for me haha.

“Babe ready for tonight?” Cal said as I tied my shoes. I decided to go pretty casual. Black jeans, white tee, black converse. Hair tied back in a low ponytail.

'Yeah just about.' We head outside to the car over to Ashton's for the long awaited house par-tay. About 20minutes later, Cal and I reach Ash's place. And get inside quickly because it was beginning to rain.

“HEY EVERYBODY!” Michael yells with a drink in his hand. 'Well someone is already shit faced' I say causing Calum to laugh. I look around to see Luke talking to Miranda and Casey as well as newbies, who I haven't gotten to know yet. Ash and Sasha were fetching more drinks from the 'beer fridge' Nia and Rena giggling at something one of them said and of course, already drunk, Michael (lol).

“Here guys” Casey says while handing us a drink, 'now let's get this house party started!' He shouts and we all laugh.

(Couple hours into party)

The music was blasting; so loud I could feel every beat in it. Luke, Casey and Miranda were "dancing" I think (lol) Michael passed out a while ago. No one wanted to move him so we left him in the middle of the floor. I was sitting next to Ash who was sitting next to Sasha who passed out on the couch. Rena was across from us and passed out as well. As I turn to see what calums doing I couldn't believe my fucking eyes. With his drunken gaze and smile he stood flirting and giggling like a fucking school girl with Nia. I'll just say it. I don't like Nia, she doesn't like me either. So I normally wouldn't waste my time on her but she was too close to my boyfriend and I wasn't having it. I jumped off the couch,and I walked over to Calum and Nia.

'What the fuck are you doing?'.

'Fuck off Alyssa, can't you see he's busy with someone he actually likes?' Nia says.

'Aha Nia you're so full of shit' I fake laugh to finish off my sentence.

'The fuck is that suppose to mean?

' 'You're a fake ass bitch who no one likes, if you were actually respectful, you'd have real friends. 'Removing herself from cal she pushes me. 'Excuse me bitch,' I go to push her back but am hit in the face with a big, strong hand. Calum's hand. I turn to him, a hurt expression on my face.

'Fuck off' he simply said. I turned back to Nia who was smiling like the bitch she is. That's when I went to her. With a fist full of her hair I began bashing her head and face with my other fist again and again and again. I was so engulfed with rage and didn't care how much my hands were hurting. Her hand managed to grab hold of my hair too. She started punching me as well faster; harder. I closed my eyes as we moved around trying to throw her to the ground. But suddenly I was the one thrown down. She had kicked the side of my knee causing my knees to buckle backwards. As she sat on top of me punching and scratching. All I could do was try to cover my face and head. I don't understand why I wasn't winning this, I could easily take her. But I realized it was because of Calum. He wounded me mentally and emotionally. He's such an asshole when he drinks. I tried to look over at him to see if he was seeing this. And he was. I feel the blood oozing from my face. I feel where the bruises will be tomorrow. I started to see little black dots. I was blacking out.

'That's right bitch, I'm gonna take your ma-.'

'NIA WHAT THE FUCK!?' Casey yelled. Ashton, being closest to us got here first.

'Nia... Get... The fuck... Off her!!!' Ash said as he literally threw Nia off, with Miranda and Casey catching and holding her back. Ash came over and I felt my body being lifted up; hearing Sasha repeating my name as well as Ashton yelling.

'What the fuck is wrong with you mate?! You're just gonna watch as your girlfriend gets beat up?! That's a dick move man. You don't even deserve Liss, I can't fucking believe you!' Then I hear a smack and something that sounds like a body hit the floor. Then it went completely black.

(Couple hours later)

As I come to, my body aches everywhere; my head is killing me; and I can barely open my eyes. I sit up very slowly taking in my surroundings.

'Liss, honey don't sit up, you need to rest.' Grandma's voice boomed like thunder in the room. I grimaced. 'Sorry' she said.

'How did I get here?'

'That Ashton boy came, I nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door but he told me what happened.'

'Oh' I said simply. Over the course of the next few days I stayed with grandma till my body wasn't as achey. I was moving around and doing minimal tasks around the house. Grandma left for the weekend with her boyfriend, so I got to play music softly in the house. Just as I was going to make myself some food, there's a knock on the door. I go over to open it and it's Ashton. I smile spread over my face, as painful as it was. 'Here come in.' He comes in and immediately gives me a hug. Not that tight though. The embrace was so warm and loving I didn't want to let go of him. When I did, he was in tears. 'Ashy? What's wrong?'

'Nothing I'm glad to see you up and moving. But I'm here to take care of you.'

'Take care of me?, Hun I'm okay.'

'Please, it will give me peace of mind?' I looked at him; his eyes so glossy, I couldn't say no.

'Okay ash.' As the weeks pass, I've been with Ashton 24/7. Meanwhile Calum hasn't made any effort to text or talk to me. And normally I'd be depressed but for some reason, I'm not. Ashton has made me feel so good and so warm and so loved that I'm not sure about Calum.

(Couple days later)

'Yay movie time!!!' Ashton yells running down the stairs.

'Ahaha, what movie tonight ashy?'

'The best of me.'

'The best of me? Aha.'

'Yeah, I'm feeling romantic today. Aha.'

We pop in the movie with our blanket and popcorn and my dots gummies. Something about tonight felt different. I noticed Ashton was wearing cologne; he was just extra hot tonight. As the movie played on, I couldn't really focus, and neither could ash. At least in the movie.

'Liss?'

'Yeah a-' before I could finish his lips were on mine. So soft and warm and I couldn't help but kiss him back. There was a spark bigger than any I've ever felt, even with Calum. His hands felt all over my back, arms and legs. I felt so safe in his arms. Next thing I know, we are making love on his couch. Gentle and passionate love till we reached our highs and fell asleep in each other's arms.

(Couple months later)

Mikey's birthday is coming up and I wanted to get him something he'd like so I went with Sash. We went into the shop and looked around.

'Liss, are you okay? You look a little pale.' Sasha says with concern on her face.

'I'm a fine girl, it's good.' I smile. But actually I don't feel fine. I've been like this for a while. And right now I felt even worse. 'Sa.. Sash, I don't...,' the room started spinning and my legs felt weak.

'Liss? LISS!' She said it when dark.

When I came to, I was in the hospital, and Sasha was rocking back and forth in the chair next to me holding my hand. 'Sash, what's happening?'

'You fainted Liss, I freaked and called an ambulance and they did some tests. I'm er... We're waiting for the results.' Just as she finished, the doctor came in.

'Miss Perkins, how are you feeling?'

I'm feeling better.'

'Good, we gave you some fluids to help nourish your body. We did some blood work and noticed you're not nourished enough due to your pregnancy, an-'

'WHAT!?' Sasha said.

'Wait, I'm pregnant?' The doctor nodded her head.

'Yes Miss Perkins, the tests show that the fetus was conceived about three and a half months ago.'

'THREE AND A HALF MONTHS!?' Sasha said and turned to look at me. '

I see you need a minute ladies, I'll leave you be.' She left and closed the curtain.

'Three and a half months Liss?' I stared into space thinking.

' three and a half months ago I had sex with Calum but at the end of that month, after all that, I slept with Ashton to-.' Sash sat with her jaw dropped. 'I don't know, whose it is.'

'You have to let them know Liss.'

'Can you go with me?'

'Course Liss.'

(The next day eh... Night)

I asked Ashton to come over and without hesitation he came. And with the help of Sash, Calum came to. I'm nervous, I haven't seen or talked to him in months. How would he react to this news, how would both of them react? But they're both here. And I need to get this out. I walk to the living ash and cal are sitting on opposite sides of the room. I clear my throat as I enter.

'Hey guys.'

'Hey liss.' They say, one quieter than the other.

'I...uh.... I....uhh..' I look to Sasha for help. And she came.

'Listen guys with everything that has happen, Liss need you to put it behind you and listen the fuck up, Liss is...

“I’m Pregnant and either one of you can be the dad. I'm not sure but I wanted you both to know.' Calum's eyes went wide. Ashton's hands went to his chin

As the months come and go. Each appointment was just a reminder that the baby was coming soon. Sasha went with me for every one. I told the doctor I didn't want to know the gender of the baby. All I care about is that it's healthy. Ashton was there helping every step of the way. Making sure I was relaxed and calm and that there was no stress around the baby. When I needed a back rub, Ashton was there to give it. If there was no ice cream in the house, he was on it. Calum on the other hand helped more in a financial way. He had stopped by two days ago, which I was shocked by, just to talk.

(Flash back)

'Uh.. Come in.'

'I'm not staying long princess.' Princess? I just looked at him more confused than ever.

'I haven't been around or contacted you because I don't know how to forgive myself from that night. I lost myself after that. I...' He started rubbing his arms.

'Cal, no. Please tell me you didn't.' As he looked at me a tear left his eye.

'I'm sorry princess, I.... I didn't know what to do. I went to rehab and... I do-.' I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. Stopping his words in their tracks. He squeezed me, getting as close to me as he could due to my belly.

'Liss, I love you, I've never stopped loving you. You're my one and only. I'll do whatever it is for you to forgive and take me back. Please. Baby please.'

End of flashback)

Since that talk, he's been around the house more and the tension between him and Ashton was very uncomfortable. The dirty glances they give each other. The shoving into each other. At least that's what Sash tells me. They behave themselves in front of me and the baby. I was lying in bed continuously tossing and turning. I don't know why I couldn't sleep. Then all of a fucking sudden, Sasha burst through my door. 'SASHA!?'

'Shhhhhh!!!'

'What the hell I almost peed on my-.'

'Shhh, listen.' I didn't understand what she was talking about till I heard voices.

'Cal and Ash?' I mouthed to her. And she nodded her head.

(Whisper yelling)

'Listen, I don't give a fuck that you like her Ashton, she's my girl, so you need to back up off her.'

'Me? Are you fucking kidding me! I've been here for her all this time you stupid fuck, she wants me. I don't care what you two used to be, but I know she cares for me. I'm here all day every day taking care of her and when I'm not I-.'

'When you're not blah blah blah, I'm the father of that child, Ashton. Not you. Get over it. Whatever you thought you had with her is not there anymore.' It went quiet. They must have been angrily staring at one another. Till Ash spoke.

'As much as I want that baby to be mine, as much as I want to stand here and brag about how my dick got her pregnant, we won't know whose it is till its born, and till then let's act like men and cut the crap Calum, we've caused enough drama in this house.' Two pairs of footsteps walked in opposite directions and two doors slammed. Sasha looks at me with her mouth partly opened.

'I don't know what to say or think about that.'

'Me neither Sash, me neither.

With the baby coming in less than a three weeks, sasha is busy getting everything ready for the baby shower being that we don't know the sex yet. The color theme is light grey and soft green. Everything looks so cute. I look around the living room to see Ashton putting up streamers and Calum putting up the giant pacifier piñata. Calum and I are better and by that I mean back to being couple-like. Ashton has gotten a bit distant. After that night when Sasha and I heard them talking, they act like neither one is there. They don't talk to each other and it makes me sad. They were really good friends always joking and playing around. And now, nothing. They're just strangers who know each other really well. But they're okay for right now.

(Later that day)

It was time for the shower to start. Sasha made me a special seat covered. The guests arrived and everyone came. Everyone except Nia. Everyone got situated with food and drinks and we socialize for a while.

'Okay everyone it's time for a game!!' Sasha shouted. She was more excited than anybody. 'So in this game you will pick up a diaper. All the diapers have a number on the-.'

'Why do they have numbers?' Mike butted in.

'Michael shut up let me have my moment!' Everyone laughed. 'As I was saying, all the diapers have a number because inside all the diapers is a little mess. Don't worry it's all candy, the point of the game is to guess the candy!'

'Why does it look like shit?' Michael says as we laugh again.

'What the fuck do you think babies do in diaper's Michael.' Everyone laughs harder.

'Babe I'm just messing with you, you're doing really good at this.'

'Well thanks butthead.' We ended up not really finishing the game. We just kinda are all eating the chocolate in the diapers. Mine was a snickers, there was also the Milky Way, Twix, and... Well just a lot of chocolate. 'PRESENT TIME!!!' Sash yelled. And everyone went to grab their gifts.

'Hey Liss.' Miranda said.

'This is from Nia. She handed me an envelope. Everyone got kinda quiet as I opened it.

'It's a card.' I said aloud.

'What does it say?' Ashton and Calum say in unison. I open the card and starts scanning with my eyes

"Congrats on the pregnancy Alyssa, hope all goes well. I'm sorry for giving you hell. I realize I can never have what you have and I'm sorry for trying to take it from you. You're his dream girl and I can't compete with that. You're more a woman than I ever will be and I hope one day we can get passed this. You deserve great things. But anyways, congrats."

'What does it say Lissachu?' Sasha says to me.

'She said congrats on the baby.' I say feeling a weight lift off of me, not knowing I even had one. The rest of the baby shower went well. I just sat and ate everything Saha handed me (lol). These cravings were getting the best of me.

(Night time) Today was actually really good. There were a few spills at the shower, and after the shower that was mainly Michaels fault but got cleaned by 'mother Sasha'. And surprisingly Ashton and Calum, after a couple drinks, started talking again. (I know what you're thinking, alcohol at a baby shower? Blame Mike). It was as if there was no bad blood between them. It filled my heart with warmth and happiness. As I lay down and get comfy I close my eyes and give a big, calming sigh and begin to drift off the sleep. Then I get a tickle in my nose and... 'ACHOO!' I sneeze. 'Aw shit, did I? Fuck I peed on myself.' I get up slowly and grab a change of clothes and go to the bathroom. When I finish changing. I go to change my sheets. Pulling on the corner closest to me, I start to feel pain, a really sharp pain. As I hunch over my bed, breathing heavy and choppy, my door opens and I feel arms around me.

'Princess what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?' Calum says. His voice rang with panic.

'I..uh.... I think...my water broke.'

Calum's eyes went wide. 'Okay, come on. Let's get you in the car.' He walked with me letting me stop whenever there was a contraction.

'GUYS!?? GUYS WAKE UP, THE BABYS COMING!!' Sasha ran out of her room and straight for the bag she made me put together for this very moment. Ash moved at a slower pace but we got out of the house pretty fast. With Ashton at the wheel, driving beyond the speed limit, everything was kind of a blur. Sasha to my left; Calum to my right. Both letting me squeeze the fuck out their hands as Sasha does breathing technics with me. We finally get to the hospital and Calum picked me up bridal style and ran through the emergency room doors.

'SHE'S IN LABOUR!!!' As soon as the sentence left his mouth, nurses came around so fast. I was put in a wheelchair and rolled away; In the distance I hear Calum yelling. 'NO I HAVE TO GO WITH HER!'

'Sir please calm down you're frightening other patients.'

'NO, GET OFF ME! ALYSSA!! I LOVE YOU!' Pain. Excruciating pain. I feel as if these are the absolute worst cramps in my life. I feel like Satan is shoving a small trident dagger in my uterus and turning it around in circles

. 'It's okay ma'am, just breathe an-'

'I AM BREATHING!' After moving me from the wheelchair to the bed with wheels, I'm rolled into a room. They change me into a gown and I'm left there by doctors checking in from time to time.

'ALYSSA! Oh god princess are you okay?!' His voice rang with worry.

'I'm okay cal, did they finally let you in here?' I joke. Then Ashton walks in with Sasha.

'How ya feeling Liss?' Ashton says.

'Like I'm gonna have a baby.' Then another contraction happens. FFFUUUCCCKKK!' I grabbed Calum's hand and squeezed till its blue and purple. He says nothing.

'Guys? The doctor is gonna ask if the "father" wants to be in the room and cut the umbilical cord.' Sasha says. 'Which of you want to do it?' Calum and Ashton look everywhere but at each other. Then to me.

'Princess it's up to you.' Just then the doctor walks in.

'Okay Ms. Perkins, time for another look see. May I ask you three to step outside please.

'C'mon guys,' Sasha grabs both of their shirts. ' it's not like you haven't seen it before. It's the same. I giggle. The doctor chuckles to himself.

'Well Ms.Perkins, if you're ready, the bed is set up and down here, looks good. So who do you want in the room with you?'

'Doc, I don't know who the father is.'

'Doesn't have to be the father, no aha. The young lady, is your friend right?'

'Yes.'

'If I was in your situation, I'd pick her. She was there for you. Besides, we'll find out who the father is later.' He walks out. And Cal, Ash and Sash come back in.

'Sash I want you in the room with me.'

'Am I godmother?'

'Yes.' She claps her hands.

'Well okay, let's go deliver a baby!' I'm already in the delivery room. Sweat dripping on my face. The doctor gave me the epidural when I first got here. It hurts but no where near the contraction pain. More like I'm really constipated. The pushing is exhausting my whole body.Sasha to my right letting me squeeze her hand.

You're doing good Liss, couple more pushes then it's coming out.' I nod, my eyebrows furrowed

. 'Alright Ms.Perkins, push!'

'Aaaahhhh!' I pushed with as much force as I could. Then I hear crying.

'Okay Ms. Perkins one more push like that and it's out. Ready. Set. Go.' I take a deep breath and push letting out a massive fart (Lol jk yell).

'AAHHHHHHH!' Then the crying got louder. And louder.

'Liss! You did it! It's a, it's a...'

'Congratulations Ms.Perkins, you have a girl.' The doc smiles and wipes the baby enough for me to hold.

'She's beautiful.' I let out the tears. Streaming down my face in joy.

'She's beautiful Liss.' Sasha says. 'Hi little one, I'm sashie. Your god mom.' She was crying too

'Alright Ms.Perkins, we'll get her all cleaned up while you sign the birth papers. And then she's all yours.' The nurse took her to get cleaned and I handed her papers. '

Liss...' '

Yeah?'

Congratulations, I'm so happy and proud to be here and experience this, even though I can't feel my hand anymore. Thank you.'

'No thank you, for actually being her all the way.' We hug.

'But Liss, she looks like..... Calum.'

'I know, and I'm happy that she's his.'

'And yours Liss, don't forget that.' As I put pen to paper to full in the name part of the certificate, I pause. Then write. How the nurse comes back with her and I give her the papers.

'What's her name?' A voice says. Ashton and Calum walk in the room ( you were moved back to the other room to recover). I look at them.

‘She looks a lot like you Calum, aha. She has your nose.' Calum sits in the chair next to your bed, across Sasha; Ashton at the foot of the bed.

'Congrats, you two.' Ash says with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

'Come here.' I say as I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

'Thank you for helping as much as you did.' He smiles and backs out the door

. 'I take it you guys are gonna be here a while so I'll leave and come get you later.'

'Wait!' Sasha buts in. 'Don't you wanna know her name?'

'Yeah, what's our daughters name?' I look from Ash to Sash. Sash to Cal. Then Cal to her.

'Schyler. Schyler Joy.'

#calum hood #calum 5sos #5sos #calum hood imagines #5sos imagine

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petri808 · 3 years

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thank you for your patience. This week was pretty crazy distracting with the elections lol The ride’s gonna get rough for a while....

It had become a pretty routine idea for the couple whenever a new and interesting movie hit the theaters to check it out. They could relax and cuddle, letting the stressors of school and work melt away onto the big screen where actors made them laugh or cry and laugh again. The theater that Saturday afternoon was busy with the line for the concession stand long but moving at a decent pace. Natsu and Lucy weren’t too worried about getting a good seat because they’d arrived early enough.

“Do you think Pets 2 will be as good as the first one?” Lucy questions Natsu.

“I don’t know. I mean the first one was okay I guess.” He pokes her side in a teasing manner. “You’re just excited cause Mamoru Miyano is dubbing a character again.”

“He’s hot, what can I say and if he was single, well...” she shrugs with a devious grin, “who knows.”

“Pfft, I’m a much better catch, plus he’s old.”

“I’m just teasing,” Lucy giggles. “But he is not that old!”

Natsu is still laughing over the protective behavior she shows for her favorite voice actor, just as they finally reach the front of the concession stand. “Should I just grab a big tub of popcorn and we share?” He double checks with her.

“No way mister,” she laughs, “I want a small one for myself cause last time I barely got any.”

“Okay that’s true, what about a drink? Share or no?”

“Hmm, yeah, that’s fine. Ooh, and don’t forget my arare this time.”

It takes only a few minutes for the worker to put their order together. Natsu grabs the two containers of popcorn and their candies, while Lucy holds the carrier with the drinks. They then head towards the hallways leading to the theater rooms. It was a pretty big lobby area with three hallway branches to choose from, so they check to make sure they take the correct one. But just as they’re about to turn in that direction, something or someone bumps so hard into Natsu’s back that he stumbles and the food he was holding flies forward all over the ground. Lucy who was walking right beside him is also hit, though managed to keep the drinks from being thrown too.

“What the fuck?!” He yells from the impact and Lucy cries out too.

The whole event was seconds in the making, like a blur of food flying, gasps around them, and immediate questions needing answers. Natsu moves to spin around to confront the person, when arms are quickly wrapping themselves around his body. Meanwhile, Lucy is sent into an emotional tailspin from the sight. Anger and frustration topping the list.

“Touka?!” Lucy screams.

“Touka?!” Natsu parrots his girlfriend since he can’t see behind him. He claws at the arms around him. “Get the fuck off me you crazy bitch!”

A crowd of gawkers gathers to see what was going on, and employees from the concession stand get on phones to call for security.

“Natsu! I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!” The woman retorts and digs in, holding on as tight as possible. “I’m your girlfriend not her!”

“You are not my girlfriend!” He screams as he tries desperately to untangle her arms from his body. “Let me you go you crazy nut case!”

“Touka, let Natsu go!” Lucy shrieks too, digging her nails into the woman’s arm. She didn’t care if she drew blood at this point because she’d had enough of Toukas antics. For months and months, the woman has harassed them. Always showing up and spying on them, approaching them with this same rhetoric. But it was the first time she’d become this physical, latching onto Natsu and not letting go. “Touka, you’re crazy! Leave us alone!”

“He’s mine!” The woman screams back. “Natsu’s mine and you stole him from me!”

“She didn’t steal nothin’ you demented freak!” Natsu finally pulls her locked arms away and flips her over his shoulder. Touka lands hard on her back to the gasps and murmurs of onlookers, but Natsu didn’t care at this point. He was too fed up with the stalker behaviors that’s been driven him crazy for almost three years now! “I can’t take it anymore! I’m pressing charges Touka since you won’t leave us alone!”

Sobbing on the floor but undeterred, Touka grabs for his ankle. “No! I’ll never give you up! Never!”

Natsu kicks her hand away, then grabs Lucy by the waist and pulls them both out of reach from the crazed blonde. “Stay away from me and Lucy, Touka! I mean it! This has gone too far!”

Lucy immediately turns and buries her face in his chest as he holds her close. Her mind was reeling and on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t she leave them alone! It had been frustrating until now, but this was getting scary. It felt like they didn’t have the freedom to be in public together without constantly worrying if Touka would show up. Usually, if there were people around, she was less likely to, so her actions this time showed an escalation in behavior.

In that moment, security arrived and takes charge of the situation. Two of the men secured Touka and haul her away to the building’s security office, while another questions the couple along with witnesses in the lobby. The pair tells them what happened and Natsu insists on pressing assault charges on Touka. Once witnesses confirm their story, the guards take all of the contact information and allow them to leave. Theater employees offer to replace their food for free, but Lucy is so shaken that she just wants to get out of there. It was nice of the staff to give them free vouchers for their next trip.

“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, Natsu.” Lucy clung to his side as they walked the short distance to his apartment. “There’s something seriously wrong with that girl.”

“Shh,” he kisses her temple, “it’s okay. You were just protecting yourself. But I promise you, we’ll get through this.”

“Are you really gonna push the charges?”

“Hell yes, I should have done it long ago. Maybe then she would have taken it more seriously.”

“I hope so too. Maybe they’ll give her counseling in jail.”

When they arrive at Natsu’s apartment, Gray was home but napping in his room, so they set up in the living room. Lucy makes them drinks and microwave popcorn, then they put on a movie. It wasn’t the same as a theater experience, but at least it was cozy. She cuddles up on his lap with the bowl of popcorn on hers, trying to focus on the movie rather than the events of that day. He in turn keeps his arms around her body to hold her close.

Stuff like this was exactly what she feared in deciding to date Natsu, but she never thought it would go this far. She was too deeply attached to him to give up now and aside from dealing with Touka, he was everything he’d promised he would be, which was such a rarity that couldn’t be given up lightly. Lucy was comfortable with him, as if they’d known each other forever. Natsu was sweet, caring, affectionate, smart, handsome, funny, respectful of her no matter what. She could tell it pained him whenever stuff like this occurred, frustrated as if he was failing somehow. But it wasn’t all his fault. While yes, he could have been blunter with the woman in the beginning, Lucy had to admit that his caring nature was one of the reasons she loved him for. She couldn’t very well fault him for it now. Natsu also couldn’t control the fact Touka was just crazier than normal.

“You’re thinking about things, I can tell cause your brows are furrowing.” Natsu’s voice is soft as he speaks. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Lucy shakes her head. “No. I’ll be okay, I promise. It’s just so hard to rap my brain around how some people can behave like that.”

“It would kill me, but I’d understand if you’re tired of having to deal with all this... or me.”

She turns slightly in his lap. “I’m not leaving. I’m— scared, but I’m not gonna let her win either. You’re just too good to give up.”

Natsu’s face softens further, slightly embarrassed at such an affirmation. He cradles her cheeks and kisses her lips gently. “It’s me who’s the lucky one.”

*Note: arare= shoyu flavored rice crackers. It's makes a really good snack, but if you add it to popcorn with some furikake omg so oishi, delicious!

For those that don't know who he is, Mamoru Miyano is a popular voice actor in Japan for both anime and he's done dub work for American movies like Pets/Pets 2, etc. He's also my favorite Japanese singer :) I love him so much, OMG.

Last note, the story does take a majorly angsty turn at this point. I swear this ends happier if you can handle the drama lol.

#nalu #nalu fan fiction #nalu fan fic #nalu Au #angst #Natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #strangers on a train #ch 15

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let-it-raines · 4 years

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Catch Me If You Can (40/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I’ve written a lot of words - it’s actually a ridiculous amount - but some stories worm their way into your heart. This one definitely goes in the top five of that for me. I don’t know if it’s because this was the first story I managed to write after getting some pretty harsh words sent my way or if it was because this story was something I wrote throughout my pregnancy. Did you guys notice how much food was involved? That’s why. Haha. Nevertheless, this is a special one. Thanks for coming along for the ride ⚾️

Thanks to you @resident-of-storybrooke for all of her hard work with me on this one! I’ve kept this epilogue a secret from you as your gift for being a spectacular human being, so I hope you enjoy it ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

“What are you wearing today?” Ruby asks her over the speaker on her phone.

Emma hums in response as she thumbs through the clothes in her closet, passing by sweater after sweater that Killian has organized by color despite her consistently messing up his organizational system for their closet. Miraculously, it always gets fixed, heels going on the shelf and white sweater moving to its section instead of chilling with the red jackets on the other side of the room. She didn’t need a closet this big, not really, but if this is what came attached to the master bedroom in their brownstone, Emma is certainly going to fill it up with clothes and boots and far too many hats.

She’s simply not going to organize them the way that her husband wants her to.

“I’m not sure yet,” Emma tells Ruby while running her hand runs over a black turtleneck sweater that might look good with her plaid skirt and the thigh-high boots that she owns three pairs of now since she wears them so often. It’s not a problem no matter how much Killian says it is as he places them on the shelf. “It’s cold outside, but it’s going to be sunny. Maybe my plaid skirt with the black sweater. What are you wearing?”

“Jeans and a sweater, but it’s not my big day.”

“It’s not my big day either.”

Ruby sighs, and Emma can imagine the exasperated look on her face and the way that Graham is likely sitting on the bed behind her reminding her to be gentle or something similar. He should know better after so many years with Ruby – she’s not gentle when she’s in a teasing mood, and she’s definitely in a teasing mood.

“It is your big day,” Ruby corrects. “Your husband could be retiring from baseball today. That’s a huge fucking deal.”

Emotion lodges itself in Emma’s throat, and if she could swallow it down and get rid of it for the day, she would. Quickly, she turns around to look and make sure Killian isn’t standing in the closet or the bedroom. He’s not, at least that she knows. He could be hiding in that blind spot near the bathroom. He’s got weirdly quiet footsteps, and she can very rarely hear when he’s moving in this house.

“Killian wants to think about it as any other game. He’s told me approximately five hundred times that this isn’t a big deal.”

“And you believe him?”

“Hell no,” Emma scoffs as she unties her robe and hangs it on a hook before pulling the plaid skirt off of its hanger and slipping into it as most as she can without having someone tug the last little bit. It’s got this stupid hook that never does quite right. “He hasn’t slept in days. Like, actual days. I wake up in the middle of the night to find him reading or running his fingers over me or something. Killian doesn’t want to admit it, but baseball is in his bones. He’s never going to be able to fully leave it behind. He just…they’re down three games to none in the ALCS and even if they win tonight, they could lose tomorrow. I don’t – I want him to win tonight, but I think if that happens, he’ll just keep holding onto the hope that it’s not over yet.”

“It’s never over until it’s over.”

“You sound like Killian.”

“I’ve spent a hell of a lot of time with him in the past six years. It was bound to happen at some point.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the one who was supposed to start picking up his mannerisms, not you.”

“We’re sister wives, baby.”

“Um, no,” Emma laughs as she clasps her bra together behind her back, “we are not sister wives. I love you, but that’s not true.”

“Ah whatever.” Ruby scoffs. “Is the jersey going to go over that sweater well?”

“Yep.”

“The plaid may not mix with the stripes.”

Emma clicks her tongue, a protest on her lips, but then there’s a high-pitched squeal followed by small legs lacking pants running into the closet. It’s not like she can judge. She doesn’t have a shirt on.

“Mommy,” Jace squeals, still giggling and running toward her until he’s slamming right into her calves and wrapping his fingers around her legs while his dark mop of hair brushes up against her thigh. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” “What, Jace?” she questions with a small laugh before scooping him up and resting him on her hip. She swears that he gets bigger every single day, and it kind of freaks her out. Then again, most things about being a mom to a two-year-old kid are terrifying. But also weirdly rewarding. She’s been reassured by Mary Margaret, Elsa, Ariel, and Anna that it’s normal, but she’s not sure she believes that quite yet. “What’s got you running in here out of breath?”

“Daddy funny,” Jace giggles, and like he was summoned by the laugh (he probably was), Killian walks into the closet with a small smile on his face and the slightest shake of his head.

Handsome as ever.

“Daddy is funny,” Emma agrees, leaning down to press her lips against Jace’s forehead, “but we can’t tell him because his ego might get bigger and then you and I won’t have any room in the house.”

“Ems,” Ruby interjects, “I’m going to let you go so that you can continue to tell lies about Killian being funny.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. I’m wearing the plaid skirt.”

“It’s not going to go with the stripes,” Ruby says before the line goes dead.

“You’re hysterical, love,” Killian grumbles, walking toward her and placing his hands on her waist. They’re warm and rough, callouses that she’s grown used to scratching up against her skin, and he tugs her zipper up without her asking. He’s going to have to undo it when she puts her sweater on, but it’s sweet that he realized she needed a bit of help. “Where’s your shirt?”

“Where are our son’s pants?”

He arches a brow before waggling them both across his forehead, a smirk stretching across his lips. “Touché, darling. Touché. Jace seemed fit to not stop squirming around so that I could tug his jeans up.”

Jace smiles at her, a toothy grin, and it’s almost not fair how much he looks like Killian. Genetics are not supposed to work this way. There is supposed to be some of her in him. She didn’t carry him in her body for nine plus months for him to not at all be like her.

There’s supposed to be some kind of payback or reward or something.

(Unconditional love or whatever, probably.)

“Baby, did you not let Daddy put on your pants?”

“Nope.”

“Would you let me put on your pants?”

“Nope.”

Emma rolls her eyes and looks up at Killian who simply shrugs his shoulders. “Well, I guess you won’t wear any pants, and I won’t wear a shirt. Daddy will have to go without shoes.”

Killian shrugs. “All in all, I think I’ve gotten the good deal here.”

“You have,” she promises, pressing up on her toes to quickly brush her lips over Killian’s. He needs to leave soon to go to what may be his final practice (she swears that she’s not thinking about it too much), but they were all going to ride over to the stadium together. “I’ll get him dressed, okay? You don’t have to worry about it.”

“Swan, no. You’ve still got to get ready. I’m perfectly capable of dressing him.”

“His lack of pants suggests otherwise.”

Killian opens his mouth to say something, but then his lips are pressing together and he’s reaching forward to run his fingers over Jace’s stomach while his other hand comes to rest on her ass, squeezing enough that she jumps.

“I’ll dress him,” he continues. “We’ve got to have a go at the jeans again. He might want the light wash instead of the dark. The kid is particular.”

“Just like you,” Emma sighs before handing Jace off to Killian. “I’ve only got to curl my hair and then finish getting dressed, okay? It shouldn’t take me more than thirty minutes, and then we can go.”

“There’s no rush, my love. Take your time.”

Killian walks out of the closet talking to Jace, murmuring little nothings that Emma can’t make out but that she’s sure are sweet and funny and probably ridiculous. It makes her heart swell, which isn’t good for how emotional she is today. She told herself that she wouldn’t be sad, that she would believe Killian’s lies about today not being a big deal, but Killian is a liar. Anyone that says today isn’t a big deal is a liar.

She’s a liar.

And she’s standing in the middle of her closet holding her hand against the chain around her neck staring at shelf after shelf of Yankees t-shirts and sweatpants and uniforms. This sport and this team are so intertwined with their lives and nearly everything that they do, and Emma’s not sure how she’s going to function commentating on games where Killian isn’t playing. When she got the promotion, she knew this would happen eventually. It was at the back of her mind, and it was supposed to stay there.

This wasn’t supposed to come so soon.

Killian is only thirty-three, and Emma always thought that they’d have more time.

Dammit. Why is she letting herself spiral like this when she’s supposed to be curling her hair and putting this sweater on and not freaking out?

Taking a deep breath, Emma grabs the black sweater, a pair of socks, and her boots before tugging them all on, taking each task one at a time while she gets ready. It’s fine. It’s simply another day and another baseball game. There’s nothing happening today that’s any different. They’re going to go to the stadium, drop Jace off with Ariel, Killian will go to practice, and Emma will go up to the booth to review her notes and do the pre-game show. Then the game will begin.

It’s all normal and just what they’ve been doing for almost every home game since Jace’s birth.

(Except it’s not normal.)

(She’s going to act like it is.)

When they get to the stadium an hour later, Emma and Jace both fully dressed despite the complications, the hallways are full of people – publicists, players, family members, coaches, vendors. Anyone Emma can think of is flooding the walkways, most of them waving hello and giving Jace high fives that Emma knows Killian will sanitize later simply because he’s a germ freak now, and there’s a particular look in each of their eyes, a tightness in all of the smiles, that make it especially hard for Emma to pretend that today is a normal day.

“Jace Jones,” Ariel yells out when she comes into view. “What’s up, my man?”

“Ariel,” he screeches out, squirming in Killian’s arms until Killian puts him on the ground and he runs toward Ariel. He’s a blur of pinstripes and the number twenty-nine running in a miniature version of Killian’s jersey. Emma’s got her version hidden away in her purse.

“I was always jealous of other guys who got this.”

Emma twists from where she’s standing to look over at Killian as he softly smiles at Ariel and Jace, the crinkles around his eyes much more prominent than they’ve ever been. “What?”

He nods his head before turning to face her as well. Killian puts his hands on her hips, tugging her a little bit closer to him, and she lazily slings her arms around his neck so that she can smile up at him and his stupid blue eyes. Emma talks for a living. She should be able to find a better way to describe how much she loves Killian’s eyes, but that’s not really in the job card for baseball commentators.

Killian’s lips tick up to the right, the crinkles showing up some more, and he can’t seem to decide between looking at her or Jace. “That,” Killian repeats, nodding at Jace. “I used to be damn jealous of all of the guys who got to have their kids watch them play and got to wear their numbers on their backs. He’s not…fuck, Emma. He’s not going to remember that I did this, that I got to be this really cool guy who lived out my dreams and brought joy to a lot of people, and it’s so idiotic – ”

“Hey, hey, no,” she whispers as her hand keeps running through the hair at the nape of his neck and her own eyes fill with water, “don’t go there, twenty-nine. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Jace may not remember seeing you play professional baseball, but he’s going to know that you did. And he’s going to have a million other memories that are going to be so much cooler than this, yeah? Today isn’t an ending, babe. It’s a new beginning.”

Killian sniffles, his jaw still tense, but it softens a little bit when he dips his head down to hers and starts running his lips across Emma’s jaw and down her neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses that light her entire body on fire and make her cant her hips up into his until Killian has her pressed into a concrete wall. It’s not unusual for them to find a spot to make out in this stadium, not at all, but it’s unusual for them to be this open about it. Their relationship has been a public one without their permission, and they try to keep it as quiet as possible.

Right now, Emma doesn’t care.

Not at all.

Until there’s a whistle and Ariel speaking. “I know you guys are probably going to try for another one of these munchkins during the infamous baseball mating season, but here is really not the place to do it.”

Killian chuckles against Emma’s jaw, his scruff brushing into her skin while his smile is tattooed there, and of all of the things Emma is going to miss, she thinks this might be at the top of the list. She guesses that they’ll simply have to do it at home…or Killian can come visit her at work. They have their options.

“Daddy kisses Mommy a lot,” Jace explains to Ariel in his broken speech, which only makes Killian snicker into her skin even more before he pulls back.

“I bet I can kiss you more than I kiss Mommy,” Killian challenges as he swipes Jace out of Ariel’s arms and peppers kisses across his face and down his arms.

Emma’s heart is never going to function normally again, and their insurance is not going to cover this.

“You guys are ridiculously cute,” Ariel sighs before walking up to Emma and wrapping her up in a hug so that she can whisper in her ear. “It’s all clear for you to come down after the game. Will and Eric are under strict instructions to keep him in the dugout instead of letting him go back to get his PT and hide out away from the field.”

“Thank you, A. You’re the best.”

“Yo, Professor Jones,” Will calls out from down the corridor, and everyone’s eyes glance over toward him. “I know you’ve got that fancy college degree now and could actually be a professor, but you’ve still got to show up to practice.”

“I’m right outside the door to the clubhouse, Scarlet,” Killian yells back.

“Outside isn’t inside, man. I bet Jace knows that, and he’s only two.”

“Give me three minutes, and I’ll be there.”

“Al is going to have your head.”

“He can have it.”

“My boy,” Killian sighs as he brushes Jace’s hair off of his forehead, “will you be good for Ariel so that Mommy and Daddy can go to work?”

“Nope.”

That is undeniably the word of the day.

Sending Killian off to practice and the game is a little bit more difficult than usual. The words are lengthier, the hugs longer and tighter, and the final “good luck” and “I love you” weigh heavier on Emma’s mind as she walks away from the clubhouse and to the elevators so that she can go and do her job.

It’s a hard day, but it is simply a day.

And a ballgame.

-/-

Before Killian’s first pitch, he looks up to her in the commentator’s booth and taps his fist right over his heart.

She does the same thing back before holding her hand to the ring that still rests against her sternum.

“You’ve got this, twenty-nine,” she whispers, not caring that the microphones are going to pick it up.

-/-

The Yankees lose, 3-2, and the loss definitely stings. The season is over, but Killian’s career is also finished, the bookend closing on the mound and his time there.

A beginning, she told him. It’s an ending but also a beginning of him not spending half of the year with a crazy schedule. Her schedule is crazy too, but at least she won’t be traveling with the team anymore.

It’s a new beginning for her too.

Chants of Killian’s name ring out around the stadium, a melody that sends chills down Emma’s spine, and Killian walks around the bases waving. He looks like he both loves and hates it, and Emma chuckles as she waits in the dugout, hidden away from him until he steps back on the mound one final time.

The man she loves is so intertwined with this game and this field, but she knows he’s also so much more than any of this.

He’s everything.

“You ready to go support Daddy, kid?” Emma asks Jace as his little blue eyes look around at all of the noise. He’s not used to this.

“Yes,” he says, and Emma sighs in relief at finally getting that word out of him.

It’s not a long walk, not at all, but it feels that way as she passes by all of Killian’s teammates, past and present, to get to him. When he sees the two of them, he immediately moves toward them. His strides are long, almost quick enough to be a run, and Killian wraps his arms around them so tightly that Jace protests and tries to move. He can’t, though, especially when Killian slams his lips into hers and kisses her deeply enough that every thought that Emma had disappears into the continuing chant of the crowds.

Killian. Killian. Killian.

It’s overwhelming but in the best way, and every thought that Killian has about it is felt in the kiss that leaves her breathless and with barely working limbs.

Falling in love with Killian was like this, overwhelming, unexpected, terrifying, and thrilling all at once, and she’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

“Easy tiger,” Emma laughs when Killian finally pulls back, “we’ve got company.”

“Are we talking the kid we just squashed or all of these people?”

“I’m talking Jeff and the camera that’s on our face. I’m supposed to interview you right now.”

The smile that breaks out on his face is beatific, and he kisses her again. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Killian grabs onto Jace and pulls him into his arms. “You too, kid. You ready to watch Mommy work? She’s really good at this even if it isn’t her job anymore.”

“She play baseball?”

“Something like that, lad.”

Emma barely remembers the questions that she asks Killian. It’s a blur of laughter and funny questions and maybe one or two actual questions about baseball. It all gets interrupted by Jace’s talking, most of it tired babbling, and then Liam, Elsa, and the rest of Killian’s family coming out onto the field. The stands don’t empty out, the constant buzz of the stadium staying around, but Emma doesn’t bother looking around up there when she’s got so much going on down here.

It’s absolutely everything.

Even more so when Killian takes Jace’s hand and walks him around the bases, the two of them laughing together in the way that they always do whenever they’re together, and Emma is most definitely scouring the internet for those pictures tonight.

But far too soon, the moment is over, reality coming back to everyone, and Killian has to go inside to do his press conference just like so many of his teammates. There are still articles to be written and deadlines to be met, and the world doesn’t resolve around them.

Emma’s world revolves around the two guys wearing the number twenty-nine.

She gets Jace back from Killian when they go inside, and the two of them hide out in the corner of the back of the press room as Killian settles down behind the table and all of the journalists and photographers sit in their seats. It starts mostly with the game, Killian’s stats as well as his team’s. It’s standard, just like any other post-game press.

Until it isn’t.

“You threw a one-hundred-and-one mile per hour pitch out there eighty pitches in. And it was accurate. Why are you hanging up your glove when you have some good years left?”

Emma flinches at the question, but it’s one she knew he would get. It was pretty much inevitable.

Killian’s hand reaches up to rub over his eyes, the blue sparkling against the red rims from where he’s cried and tried to hide out. “Look,” Killian starts while staring down at the baseball cap in front of him, signatures from every single teammate marking it up, “I get that I’m only thirty-three. That’s not old in life, but on occasion, it’s old in sports. The fact that I’ve played this game professionally for twelve years for the same team is a wonderful honor, especially when you consider the issues I’ve had with my shoulder. I think…it feels damn good to be able to throw an accurate strike like that one you mentioned, but it feels better to be able to hold my son without pain. It feels better for me to be able to embrace my wife or keep my arm around her shoulder while we watch a movie. Those are things I might not be able to do if I keep playing and screw my arm up a little bit more.”

Emma adjusts Jace in her arms, careful not to rouse him since he’s probably about five minutes from sleep. The kid has no idea the declaration of love his dad just made for the two of them, all of the declarations he’s been making, and he has no idea just how lucky they are that the sweet man having to talk to strangers about a huge part of his life ending is also the dumbass who thought it would be a good idea to ask her out on television.

It’s a good thing that Killian has learned from his mistakes and that she knows how to forgive.

“So you’re retiring because of your family? Lots of guys play with families.”

Killian rolls his eyes. Emma does too.

“I’m retiring because it’s my time,” Killian corrects with a forced smile on his face. “I love this game and everything that it has given me. I’m never truly going to leave it. I think I’ll likely take a few years off, maybe spend a hell of a lot of time making another kid with my wife, and then I’ll come back somehow. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get into the commentator’s booth with Emma. I think we’d make a hell of a team, and there’s nothing I’d love more than working with her again. Maybe I’ll be a coach for an MLB team or for a college or for my kid’s little league team. I don’t know yet. I haven’t exactly gotten it figured out.”

“One more question,” Ariel calls out, and Emma swears that she’s not crying. Nope. It’s not a thing that’s happening.

Except that she’s definitely crying and far too emotional, and she doesn’t want Killian to be up there by himself for his last press conference question. So as there’s a loud chorus of questions with every reporter’s hand raised, Killian still trying to pick someone to ask a question, Emma moves around the side of the room until she’s stepping up on the stage, her heels clacking against the platform, until she’s gently sitting down on Killian’s lap.

He rolled back in his chair in anticipation of her walking this way.

And his hand is warm on her arm and around Jace’s back, and just the slight touch is enough to make her emotional all over again.

Killian deserved to go out winning the World Series again. He deserved for his Hall of Fame career to have a big bang for an ending instead of a quiet fizzle, but life doesn’t work out that way. If this is what he wants, this is what he wants, and it’ll be perfect for him.

“Lawrence,” Killian calls out, nodding to the reporter who took over Emma’s job at ESPN.

“In all of your career, what’s been your favorite moment? Do you have one?”

Killian snickers at the question before turning to the side and pressing a kiss against her forehead. “World Series 2019, game seven. That was the year that changed every aspect of my life, and that game was incredible. I don’t think I’d ever experienced such an adrenaline high before. I don’t know if I have since in terms of baseball. I just…that was a special win for me because I got to do it with my mates, a lot of whom have retired since then or been traded to other teams, but I also got to do it with Emma. I know that I…God, I know that I sound like a sap right now, and I – ”

Killian tilts his head to the side and buries his face in her hair while his arm tightens around she and Jace. She can feel his body shaking the slightest bit.

“It’s okay, Killian,” Emma promises, whispering in his ear while Jace twitches in her arms, waking up the slightest bit. “You’re doing great, twenty-nine.”

“I was a fucking liar when I said that today wasn’t a big deal.”

“I know.”

He chuckles, that same chuckle she’s heard almost every day for six years, and when Killian pulls back from the two of them, he’s got a smile on his face.

“That year was the first time I had a partner in my life outside of my brother that I knew was always going to be by my side, no matter what happened, and I think baseball wise, that moment is always going to be my favorite. I’ve loved almost every minute of this journey, even having to deal with all of you guys hounding me about every move that I make, but if you don’t mind, I think I’ve got a toddler who is fast asleep and needs to go home.”

Emma twists her head to look at Killian, and he throws her a wink before leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers in a kiss while applause fills the room, an echo of the standing ovation Killian received while out on the field. He doesn’t stay to listen to this one, though. Instead, he encourages her to stand from the chair, and the two of them walk out of the room with his arm looped around her waist to the sound of people cheering for Killian.

He deserves every single clap.

They don’t stick around the stadium much longer. Killian runs into a few people who want to say goodbye, mostly those who won’t see him in their personal lives, but they’re able to leave pretty quickly. Their families have already gone home per Killian’s request of not making a big deal out of today. They’ll have some kind of celebration next week, one full of food and laughter and joy that isn’t so bittersweet like today.

When they get home, Jace is completely out, the car ride having knocked any remaining wakefulness out of him, and instead of waking him, Emma tells Killian to go take a shower while she changes Jace into his pajamas. He protests, like he always does, but eventually he relents and walks out of the room and down the hall to their bathroom so that he can shower. Emma figures that he likely needs a little time alone anyway.

It’s a weird day.

Once Jace is asleep, his arms wrapped around Will, the stuffed lobster toy that Jace named after Will Scarlet, Emma quietly turns on the baby monitor and closes the door behind her before making her way to the bedroom. The water in the shower is running, a constant hum of a stream, and Emma really does intend to let Killian be and let him have his moment alone where no one will bother him while the warm water beats against his skin. But Killian left the door to the bathroom open, pretty much inviting her inside, and she doesn’t think that he’ll mind even if her plan is simply to stand underneath the water with him and have her makeup fall down her face until she’s left looking like a terrifying clown.

Slowly, she steps into the room, the tile cool against her feet, and strips out of her clothes, picking them up off the floor and throwing them into the hamper. Killian hasn’t noticed her yet, the water pressure too high for him to hear her, and he’s got his back turned to her so that she has a view of strong legs and a firm ass that looks a million times better like this than in baseball pants.

She’s lucky for a lot of reasons. The muscles that stretch up Killian’s back and his arms tick off some of the more superficial ones.

Steam escapes the shower door when she opens it, a little bit of water too, but then she’s quickly pulling the clear glass door closed and stepping onto white tile so that she can wrap her arms around Killian’s waist, her finger threading into the patch of hair over his stomach, and her cheek nuzzling between his shoulder blades. Heat curls between her thighs at the feel of him, at knowing just how much she loves him, but instead of acting on any of it, she presses her lips to his back, laying soft kisses wherever she can while Killian’s hand comes to rest over hers.

“I thought you had banished me in here so that I could be alone,” he finally says as the water continues to pound down on them.

“Do you want to be alone?”

“I want to be with you.”

Emma hums and moves her arms from his stomach, sliding them up his body until her hands come to rest on his arms. Killian grunts something unintelligible, a mixture of pleasure and relief, and she’s barely even begun to work out the knots in his shoulder. He didn’t get his post-match massage, none of his usual recovery happening, so his shoulders are particularly tense. She knows exactly what to do, which muscles to apply pressure to and which to knead. It’s a rhythm and a practice that they’re been doing for years now to make sure Killian’s shoulder doesn’t get too stiff in the middle of the night.

Running her hands from his shoulders to his neck, she kneads the straining cords there while Killian reaches forward to press both of his hands against the tiled wall. His head drops, chin practically touching his chest, and his groan is almost more than Emma can handle.

“Fuck, love. I don’t...this feels so damn good, but if I don’t get to touch you soon, I’m going to lose my bloody mind.”

The heat she feels at his words, spoken in a deep and gravely tone, is almost dizzying, and Emma is ready to let him touch her, to let him bring her to life in the way that he always does. But today is Killian’s day, whether he wants to accept that or not, and instead of letting Killian turn around and kiss her, Emma wraps her arms around his waist again, dipping lower and lower until she can feel him straining warmly against his stomach.

She wants to tease him, to draw this out and make him go crazy with want now that they have actual alone time together, but Emma’s never been very good at being patient, especially not when it comes to this man wanting her. Killian’s the patient one, the one who is willing to wait until things are right, but his shallowed breathing and stuttered words make her think that he’s not very interested in being patient right now.

“Emma,” he breathes out, a mixture between a plea and a promise.

“You do this thing,” Emma begins as her finger traces underneath him, tracing a line in the vein in his length that Killian loves for her to do, “with your arms that make your veins more prominent. It’s just, like, all of the time, and your forearms are ridiculous. I get distracted staring at them. You’re a very distracting man.”

She wraps her fingers around his cock now, slow and steady as Killian’s knuckles practically go as white as the tile, and moves it in long strokes. Killian is very obviously trying to keep from thrusting his hips, the tenseness in his body back in full force, and all Emma can do is continue to stroke him and let him find more pleasure than pain as the water falls down around them and causes the hair on Killian to mat together and for the hair on her head to tangle.

“Sometimes I worry that I don’t let you know how much I love you,” she continues while Killian’s feet move and his hips begin to pump, aiding her hand in its work. “You’re so good with words and affection, with letting me know how much I mean to you, and I wish I could do the same with you. You deserve that.”

Killian’s step falters once more, and Emma thinks that he’s on the precipice of coming until he turns around, her hand falling from him as Killian’s hands come up to grip her face, kissing her with something approaching desperation. His tongue is sinful, hot and wet mixing in with hers, and Emma can feel his all the way down to her toes. There have been times over the years when they’ve gone through rough patches, when things weren’t always great between the two of them simply because of busy schedules or disagreements, but they’ve always worked back from those and come back to this.

Come back to this and everything else that makes up the two of them: baseball games, late-night baking sessions that never go right, attending far too many weddings and baby showers, having their own wedding at a courthouse on a random Wednesday, racing each other through Central Park as they run, laughing at the other as they trip over a pair of socks, sharing the depths of their hearts while under the covers, the lights of the city surrounding them.

Sobbing at a false positive on a pregnancy test. Sobbing at the accurate positive.

It’s a whirlwind, their life, and none of that can encapsulate it all.

Emma’s eyes are shut tightly as Killian continues to kiss her, his mouth insistent, and there’s no stopping the curl of heat now. Absolutely none. Especially when Killian moves his left hand and turns the water off, the stream immediately stopping so that chilled air hits the heat of her skin, gooseflesh rising. It’s cold, that’s undeniable, but Emma doesn’t care as her desire roars and Killian slowly backs them out of the shower with water dripping down both of their bodies.

“I swear if you let me trip, Jones,” Emma mumbles out as her feet hit against the cloth of the mat in the bathroom.

“You’ll what, Jones?” He enunciates the last word with a flick of his tongue against hers before he’s pulling back so that her nipples are no longer brushing against the thick patch of hair on his chest. Emma whines, her thighs too slick with wanting him to even care how desperate she sounds, and all Killian does is grab a towel from the shelf to wrap around her body, the soft cotton nothing compared to Killian’s touch. Even if he’s being an asshole right now. “I know you’re capable of a myriad of things darling, but I think you’re too desperate for me to do any of them.”

“You’re pretty confident in yourself, aren’t you?”

The towel tugs tighter around her waist, pulling her back into Killian so that his straining length brushes the inside of her thigh, and his lips are so close to her ear, breath heavy, that she’s not sure if she can handle any more of this. “Extremely. You usually like that about me.”

“You’ve had a lot of people complimenting you today. I wouldn’t want it to get into your head.”

“Of course. You’re here to keep me humble.”

“Exactly. I’m very good at my job.”

“Mhm,” Killian hums as the towel drops around them and Killian’s hands find the globes of her ass, kneading both of them while he continues to back them up into the bedroom. His lips are on her neck, her shoulder, back to her lips. “I love you, you know? It’s ridiculous how much.”

“Funny thing, I feel the same way.”

“Good.”

Once Emma falls against the mattress, they come together quickly, easily, like they have thousands of times before. Killian knows each inch of her skin intimately, knows just where to kiss and to touch and how to thrust, and it takes absolutely no time for her to begin to feel that desperation of needing him seep into her bones and settle there like it’s going to make a permanent stay. He’s fully seated in her, a heavy and thick drag that is like nothing else, and she can feel all of him hovering over her, heat and strength surrounding her he takes his time with his thrusts.

They’re slow, languid, and so damn breathtaking that Emma can’t even speak. She’s not sure that she wants to. Sometimes sex is just sex, a simple release of desire and passion to physically feel good. Other times it’s words of affection written with each kiss and feelings of love enunciated with each thrust and swirl of a thumb over a bundle of nerves.

Right now is the second one, and every word that Killian spoke to her earlier – in the hallways, on the field, in the press room – is echoed back to her as he moves within her and over her, his lips writing his love while Emma holds on and attempts to write the same words back.

Her heartbeat is thundering, a sound so loud that it blocks out nearly every other noise, and then she’s there, falling apart with a plea and a whisper, pleasure shaking over her body faster than she thought it would.

Holy fuck.

“Fuck,” Killian repeats back, almost as if he heard her thoughts. “Fuck, love. You’re exquisite.”

“So are you. You planning on finishing anytime soon?”

“I’m an old man. I’ve got to catch my breath.”

Emma barks out a laugh that Killian captures with a resounding kiss while his hips snap into hers, a perfect fit that is like nothing else in the world, and as his fingers intertwine with hers and he pulls them up above both of their heads, Killian joins her in her bliss, his body tensing up as his words become breathless, a mess that gets carried away with the thrum of the ceiling fan.

They collapse against the mattress, a tangle of sweaty limbs and wet hair, and when Killian pulls the comforter up over them, Emma turns on her side until she’s snuggled against Killian’s chest with her cheek resting against his heart and his hands in her tangled hair.

“We’re going to have to take another shower.”

Emma laughs with unbridled joy before pressing a kiss to his collarbone. “Tell me the truth. Did I have mascara running down my cheeks this entire time?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“Totally worth it.”

“Tell that to sheets that have little black marks.”

“I think we can wash them.”

“Possibly,” Killian sighs. His hand moves down her back until it’s resting on her ass once more. “But your mascara is damn stubborn. Ruined one of my favorite shirts that way.”

“It did not.”

“No, no, it did. I swear.”

Emma huffs and reaches around to pinch Killian’s side. He doesn’t even flinch. “Would it be so terrible for the two of us to go downstairs and make some brownies and then eat all of them so that we don’t have to share with Jace?”

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.” Killian winks, trademark smirk curling on his lips. “Besides asking me out. That was a pretty bold move on your part, Swan. You had no idea that I had feelings for you. It’s not as if I’d given you any inclination.”

Emma laughs again, uncurling herself from her husband and sitting up in bed with a sated, goofy grin. “I had a pretty good idea, my love.”

-/-

Tag list: @dorisquinn @onepunintendid @authorarsinoe @stunningswan @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @superchocovian @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings @carpedzem @tornadoamy @397bartonstreet @snowbellewells

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan

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283livesforone · 5 years

Text

6x04 OH HELL NAH!

I have never been so mad for such a long period of an episode of anything ever.

Ever.

*also this is the first time I’m writing this as I watch it so watch me be 1773917391 times more intense than normal*

1. It starts off soft. Here I am all happy and shocked that none of my stans are being tourchered...

2. Diyoza talking to her daughter is the cutest thing we love a dedicated bad ass mother

3. Okay so this is getting low key flame-cult-ish again....

4. Delilah and Jordan are absolute cute softies look who’s taking after his parents footsteps in being the softest ship alive!!

4b. My boy moves fast though... damn...

5. Hey moderately cute doctor guy... stop flirting with my gal Clarke!

5b. Oof I think he’s actually being an interlectual human and trying to help??

6. Okay they’re DEFINITELY spitting an A.I in someone.

7. Lol why are spacekru so awkward, watch Clarke and Jordan happily skip off to make new friends while them three awkwardly stand and try not to look defensive

8. Raven. I hate you.

8b. No like seriously.

8c. You used to compete with Clarke for my favorite character and you were very much one of my all time favorite females but now-

8d. Leave.

9. High key wanted Clarke to remind Raven about how they also left her behind to die and it was just god damn lucky she had night blood and there was such a slim chance of that even working but she still sacrificed herself because that’s what the real hero of this story does.

10. You have no idea how badly I want Madi to go to school. That hurt.

11. Echo calling Murphy out on being an alcoholic mess. An icon.

12. The last few episodes echos been growing on me more an more. I’m happy with this.

12b. I never said be cho was though!

13. That whole opening ceremony thing on the balcony was high key disturbing... they are definitely doing some weird A.I shit

14. That one guy who low key seemed to be helping Octavia kinda reminds me of Lincoln. I don’t know how I feel about that. This better not be another love interest I’m sorry but she has such an important plot line as it is Jason’s really going overboard with the new ships at the moment and it’s too freaking much.

15. Octavia looks more like old O and I’m living for it.

16. Ouchy. Forgiveness bellarke content. This hurts. Woah. I miss you. *bellamy’s face when Clarke calls him family hehe*

17. Is it just me or was that the weirdest bellarke hug ever. The way the just pulled apart as if they wanted nothing more than to not be touching was really weird and kinda uncomfortable to watch. I do not approve. It seems forced. Nope. *jason trying to convince us bellarke isn’t real by making the hug short*

18. But I must say I’m really enjoying all these bellarke x sharing parenting tips scenes

19. So at this point I’m only 18 minutes in and my blood is already boiling. Can’t get much worse. Oh wait-

20. If this is another Raven love interest I am suing. I’m sorry Jason but. There. Is. A. Point! You can’t just keep throwing more and more ships at us till we like one! It doesn’t work that way!

21. Low key seeing some old Raven here. I like that. Maybe she can be redeemed after all. Maybe.

22. Ughhh I do not want another Clarke love interest! You cannot mention lexa every other episode, give her a child who is the most important person in her life, put her in the position of trying to fix countless old relationships and give her a new one entirely! It’s. Too. Much.

23. We see you Jordan. *fetus meets his first female he’s not related to* -five minutes later- *has lost his V, is in a physical and emotional relationship, thoroughly taking part in the whole pda thing*

24. Oof... becho fight.... trouble in paradise? What. A. Shame.

25. Octavia and Rose make me so happy. I see some real Octavia slipping through the cracks!! Hope is not lost!

26. DONT KILL THE SMALL HUMAN! Well great. The one good thing Octavia does and you take it away from her. You will be hearing from my lawyers Jason!

27. Diyoza and Octavia is a duo I am living for.

28. Woah Clarke!

29. She is definitely getting an A.I.

30. Don’t make my boy Jordan sad! Not allowed!

31. Ah... so doctor guy is the spy. Okay I get this now. Low key creepy that he has to have drawings of everyone it would be a much better use of his time to just write their names but you do you I guess

32. OKAY HELL NO! DONT YOU GOD DAMN DARE HURT MY GIRL! NO! NO! WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER!

33. Oh damn... she doesn’t even know who Jordan is anymore....

34. This is the becho I can deal with. Give me actual development like this and I’ll learn to live with it I guess

35. I do like echo a lot more now though.

36. I’m mad. I’m mad. I’m really mad.

37. Okay so while I’m not okay with the whole putting an A.I with Josephine I’m it inside Clarke and everything but we all know she’ll be okay in the end so here’s a big thing to make space kru actually realise Clarke needs their freaking help not just their complaining and hate. Let them get worried about her for once. Let someone have to save her for once. Let them see how hard she’s worked saving their asses for so long. Let. Them. Miss. Her.

38. *Josephine looks down towards Clarke’s cleavage* “I can work with this” I CANT DEAL THIS IS HILARIOUS I STAN.

Okay so all in all this is my favorite episode so far. For once a lot actually happened and I finally watched an episode on the day it cake out. I spent most of it superrrr mad but if Raven gets her head out of her ass, Bellamy and Octavia sort out their problems and Clarke gets some appreciation I’ll be fine

*watch none of that ever happen*

Feeling: stressed, impatient for next week, full of love for Clarke and Jordan, mad at Raven.

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lazingonsunday · 5 years

Text

Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @gretavanfic and @bigthighsandstupidguys , thank you, lovelies!! 💛

1. What is your middle name?

Starts with G lol

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

Dec 2

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Everyone is putting like moon and sun and rising and I have no idea what that mean lmao, sorry! I think I’m a Sagittarius though

5. What is your favourite colour?

Orange or Yellow 🧡💛

6. What’s your lucky number?

Don’t really have one, but I always tried to be #10 on my volleyball jersey

7. Do you have any pets?

An old border collie named Riley

8. Where are you from?

Canada! 🇨🇦

9. How tall are you?

Like 5’7 ish

10. What shoe size are you?

Usually 9.5 or 10. I got big ass feet :(

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Way more than one human being needs

12. What was your last dream about?

I went to IT chapter 2 last night so safe to say I was having some freaky clown dreams all night lol

13. What talents do you have?

Um, I can say the alphabet backwards, which is super random lol. I can also kinda play guitar, bass, ukulele, and harmonica, but I’m not very good at any of them yet lol

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I used to think so when I was little, but not so much anymore

15. Favourite song?

Ooh, this is hard. Right now I really love When The Curtain Falls by GVF, but I would say an all time fave might be Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond because it reminds me of my mom

16. Favourite movie?

Oh, also a tough one! I think either Rocky IV or The Sandlot

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Jake Kiszka, obviously. But in all seriousness, anyone who is genuinely kind that I feel comfortable and happy around.

18. Do you want children?

I never thought so, but now a bunch of my older cousins are having kids and they’re pretty cool, so maybe one day if I found the right person to raise them with

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No, even though my mom will kill me if I don’t lol

20. Are you religious?

I was raised Catholic, but I don’t consider myself religious anymore.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, I’m asthmatic af lol, and prone to breaking my fingers playing rugby

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No, I am a well-behaved child

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met the magicians Penn & Teller if that counts haha

24. Baths or showers?

For practical purposes of actually getting clean, showers, but I l o v e baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing?

Black

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

While I daydream about it frequently, realistically I know I would hate it

28. What type of music do you like?

Literally the most random taste in music, it changes all the time. I don’t even have certain genres that I like, just certain artists or albums from a variety of genres

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. I was very drunk lmao

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three normal ones and a body pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side cuddled up with the pillows

32. How big is your house?

Typical white suburban neighbourhood house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I typically pout in the kitchen for 10 minutes before I give up and make something completely inappropriate for breakfast lmao. Usually grilled cheese. This morning alphagetti. I hate breakfast so much lol

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. No desire to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes, we did it in school a few times

36. Favourite clean word?

Love

37. Favourite swear word?

Idk if it’s a swear word, but I say ‘goddammit’ a lot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not long, I’m a sleepy bitch. Probably 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

In 9th grade I found out this guy had a crush on my and told literally everyone but me lol

41. Are you a good liar?

I don’t lie very often, but mostly because I am a terrible liar

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yes. I frequently get such strong vibes off of people and I can tell right away if they’re the kind of person that’s gonna stress me out

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not well

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I guess I probably have a Canadian accent, but not super strong. The region I’m from has a pretty neutral North American accent

45. What is your favourite accent?

Certain regions of Irish accent are so beautiful. Like Hozier’s accent

46. What is your personality type?

Quite shy, but generally very kind

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a shirt that I got for work that was like a hundred bucks and I never wear it cause I sprayed foundation on it once and now I’m scared I’m gonna ruin it lol

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared or spiders?

Not really scared of them, but I don’t like them to be close to me if that makes sense

52. Favourite food?

Probably burritos

53. Favourite foreign food?

Mexican

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Fairly clean

55. Most used phrase?

I really don’t think I have one?

56. Most used word?

Completely. I say it like to agree with someone or acknowledge what they’re saying

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends what I’m getting ready. For school or something I don’t really care about, maybe half an hour. For work or going out, probably over an hour.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until I get bored and crunch it lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, a concerning amount. Like full conversations with myself at full volume, constantly when I’m alone.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Occasionally

62. Are you a good singer?

Not really

63. Biggest fear?

Never learning how to make meaningful connections , pushing all my friends away, and dying alone.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, I hate it! My friends try to tell me about people we went to high school with, and I just genuinely don’t care and don’t want to know lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Idk what classifies as a ‘dramatic’ movie, but I guess the Rocky movies again

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I love long hair, I’m so jealous of people with really long hair. Mine grows so slow :(

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Maybe, if I thought really hard about it? I can barely remember Canadian provinces lmao

68. Favourite school subject?

I always really loved some topics in science, but then hated others. I was probably best at English.

69. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert af

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, even snorkeling freaks me out. The ocean is some scary soup

71. What makes you nervous?

Pretty much everything lol. But mostly any social situation where there’s people I don’t know, or I don’t know exactly what to expect.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Really depends where I am. Usually no, but if I’m outside then usually yes, and after watching It last night, yes lol

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends who it is and what the mistake is

74. Are you ticklish?

Honestly, not really

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

Not intentionally

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of? At work they have like hourly leaders who are in charge of the sales floor, and I did that a lot, but it’s not really a lot of power or responsibility. Also babysitting I guess

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Honestly, this is gonna sound so stupid, but I’ve never done anything other than alcohol and cigarettes. I actually high key wanna try weed, but again the whole ‘not knowing what to expect makes me anxious thing.’ Not even so much that I’m nervous to try the drug but that I’m nervous to try to buy it or get it, even though it’s fully legal in Canada and there’s a dispensary on every corner lmao

79. Who was your first real crush?

The first one I remember was a boy named Evan in first grade

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, and I rarely wear earrings so I always have to stab through them again when I do

81. Can you roll your R’s?

No, and I can’t whistle either! Which is deeply infuriating!

82. How fast can you type?

Fast enough to not look foolish

83. How fast can you run?

Not fast at all. I’m asthmatic and out of shape lmao

84. What colour is your hair?

An ugly medium mousy brown. I always wanna dye it a little lighter, but I go to the hairdresser like once every two years so it would look stupid when it grew out lol

85. What colour are your eyes?

Hazel-y greenish

86. What are you allergic to?

All sorts of environmental allergies; dust, pollen, animal hair, etc. I’m always sneezing and watery eyes lol

87. Do you keep a journal?

I carry a notebook, but it’s more like an agenda than a diary

88. What do your parents do?

My dad owns a drywall company and my mom is a stay-at-home mom, but she volunteers a lot now that we’re older

89. Do you like your age?

No. I think that being in your late teens and twenties can be really stressful because you feel like there’s certain things that you should have accomplished or experienced and it can be very overwhelming, feeling like you’re competing with all your peers to get your life together

90. What makes you angry?

Rude and disrespectful people

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really

92. Have you thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I’ve definitely thought about it but I don’t really have specific favourites

93. Do you want a boy or girl for a child?

I don’t have a preference. I’d probably like to have one of each

94. What are your strengths?

I think I’ve become a lot more kind and open-hearted in the last few years.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I feel like I have let fear dictate my entire life, and there’s so many things I haven’t done because I’ve been afraid. I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

96. How did you get your name?

There was a character on a TV show called my name that my parents liked

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I am aware of

98. Do you have any tattoos?

I changed the question because scars was an earlier one. I have two tattoos on my right arm

99. Colour of your bedspread?

Because it’s summer, I have a lighter blanket that’s light blue. My winter duvet is navy

100. Colour of your room?

Light blue

That was LONG lmao but really fun! I’m too lazy to bold the questions so sorry if it’s hard to read!

Tagging: @frcmthefires @sweetkiszkadreams @okietrish @sammyscherub @gretavanbobatea @jake-thomas-kiszka @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank and anyone else who wants to do it!!

#tagged #tag game

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happyk44 · 6 years

Note

1-100 all

ONE HUNDRED FUCKING QUESTIONS

1.. what is you middle name?

Marie.

2. how old are you?

A number.

3. what is your birthday?

April 25th

4. what is your zodiac sign?

Taurus.

5. what is your favorite color?

BLUE.

6. what’s your lucky number?

Fuck, I don’t have my sheet in front of me rn but I’m confident there’s a 3 somewhere among it.

7. do you have any pets?

3 cats: Turbo (mine), Olive (my sister), Daisy (mom and dad)

8. where are you from?

BERMUDA.

9. how tall are you?

5 foot 2 and a quarter

10. what shoe size are you?

8 ½

11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

Currently?? 3. Sneakers, slip-ons (which I don’t wear now that the ground is wet all the time) and boots.

12. what was your last dream about?

Idk.

13. what talents do you have?

Idk again. Writing seems to be up there.

14. are you psychic in any way?

No.

15. favorite song?

Changes all the time but currently? Way Down Hadestown, Rewrite the Stars, This Is Me, The Greatest Show, Epic (Part 3), Chant, Riptide, Take Me to Church.

16. favorite movie?

Power Rangers

17. who would be your ideal partner?

Uh, idk. Someone who likes to cuddle, doesn’t mind being affectionate but can give space when needed and doesn’t let me fall back on my own shit. Someone who can make me smile just by thinking about them. Someone who I can talk to about the stuff I enjoy and who will talk about the stuff they like, even if they’re not common interests.

18. do you want children?

Not really.

19. do you want a church wedding?

No.

20. are you religious?

No, but my dad wishes (and probably thinks) I am.

21. have you ever been to the hospital?

YEP! Gotta love asthma attacks and chronic sickness :P

Also occassional visits to my papa (rip) when my granny would go on vacation and placed him in the hospital’s care for brief times because of his dementia.

22. have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope.

23. have you ever met any celebrities?

None that I’m aware of.

24. baths or showers?

Showers.

25. what color socks are you wearing?

Black.

26. have you ever been famous?

Nope.

27. would you like to be a big celebrity?

Mmm, not really. All that attention seems terrifying. But like, if I could be, celebrity enough that I’m well-known among people and get good wages doing whatever, then yes.

28. what type of music do you like?

All kinds. I have aversions to stuff that picks at my ears wrong or makes my heart beat too fast, though, so a lot of hard metal and soca wind up being out.

29. have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. I was a toddler. Clothing means nothing when you’re a baby and live in a hot-ass humid climate.

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?

31. what position do you usually sleep in?

On my side or on my stomach. I’ve been trying to sleep on my back lately though.

32. how big is your house?

Small.

33. what do you typically have for breakfast?

Cereal.

34. have you ever fired a gun?

To my knowledge, yes.

35. have you ever tried archery?

Yes.

36. favorite clean word?

Shiz :D

37. favorite swear word?

Fuck.

38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

29ish hours? I stayed up one day to chat with a person who lived in Australia, wound up having to go to the store with my mom around 8 to get school clothes and crashed when we got back home about noon/one o’clock.

Though this month should raise that up higher given I have to be up for my exams starting at 9, stay up to catch my early morning flight the next day and stay up to catch my transfer flight and then keep staying up so I don’t crash through dinner and wake up at like one in the morning, like someone with jet lag. (Bermuda and Halifax are literally in the same time zone, I cannot do this to myself)

39. do you have any scars?

Yes. It stretches shortly on my forearm. I got it from an iron burn when I was about 12, I think?

40. have you ever had a secret admirer?

I think so?? If that’s what you’d call whoever keeps sending me those really sweet anons. :D

41. are you a good liar?

Sometimes.

42. are you a good judge of character?

I’d like to think so.

43. can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a semi-decent Irish/Scottish accent from my years of obsessively watching Ronan Inish and a thicker, more prominent Bermudian accent, like what my granny or teachers would have.

44. do you have a strong accent?

I don’t personally think I have an accent. My mom is deaf, my dad is American and the kids and family I grew up around never really used the thick version of a Bermudian accent.

45. what is your favorite accent?

I don’t know. I don’t think I have one? Mostly other accents are just the way people talk and if anything, just amuse me. Like for example, my friend’s Bahamian accent kills me, especially when she starts chatting with her friends from Nassau and their accents start rolling out super thick to the point where you gotta really pay attention to zero in on their words.

But, in Bermuda you’re taught by literally anyone so accents are just?? a thing that exist. I don’t have a favourite.

46. what is your personality type?

MBTI wise, a split between INTJ & INTP. Other types? IDK.

47. what is your most expensive piece of clothing?

PFT, prolly my shoes? I don’t really buy clothes. Though if my cousin’s coat no longer fits by the time the cold really hits and I need to use it, it’ll probably be a winter coat.

48. can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

49. are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. left or right handed?

Right handed.

51. are you scared of spiders?

Small spiders? No.

Giant spiders? Yes.

Weird looking spiders? Only if they’re too close to me.

52. favorite food?

Pineapple pizza. Apple spice cake too, I guess??

53. favorite foreign food?

Chinese, please and thank you, hit me up with that sweet and sour chicken.

54. are you a clean or messy person?

I try to be clean but depression and lack of energy makes it difficult. But I keep myself as organized as I possibly can and use procrastination to keep stuff as well-put as I can.

55. most used phrased?

I don’t even know.

56. most used word?

I also do not know.

57. how long does it take for you to get ready?

Pft, 7 to 15 minutes to shower on average (depends on if I’m washing my hair or not), fives minutes for face and teeth, five minutes to dress and like three hours to actually get up to get ready. :P

58. do you have much of an ego?

I try very hard not to.

59. do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck.

60. do you talk to yourself?

I used to when I was younger. Still do sometimes.

61. do you sing to yourself?

I used to and then I realized that a) my self-improvised songs are terrible and b) I can’t sing.

62. are you a good singer?

My mom is deaf. My dad has hearing difficulties. My papa’s singing voice is a wail and my granny’s is shrill sadness.

I was not born into this world a lucky man.

63. biggest fear?

Demon clowns. Dying alone. Being alone forever. Not getting to say the things I want to say to people. That I’ll crash and burn before I graduate or sometime soon after.

64. are you a gossip?

No.

65. best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I dunno. The most dramatic movies I can remember tend to be war films based on true stories and I normally check out during that kind of stuff because thinking about the horrors of history and the fact that people suffered and died at the hands of people who still objectively exists freaks me out, sends me into a pit of misery until I combust within myself.

66. do you like long or short hair?

No preference for other people, short hair preference for myself. Currently, I’m growing it out so my friend can braid it then I’m gonna chop it back off when I get home in May.

67. can you name all 50 states of america?

If an American can’t do that, then what makes you think me, a Bermudian who’s only concern with the US is how it will affect me and my country and literally was over-relieved when I got dropped from a US history class, would ever know that.

Case in point, I spent most of my childhood assuming New Jersey was a city and only found out it wasn’t last year.

68. favorite school subject?

Accounting.

69. extrovert or introvert?

Introvert.

70. have you ever been scuba diving?

No.

71. what makes you nervous?

Life.

72. are you scared of the dark?

Depends.

73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes. It really depends on the person and the situation.

74. are you ticklish?

Yes.

75. have you ever started a rumor?

No.

76. have you ever been in a position of authority?

No.

77. have you ever drank underage?

Unfortunately, I have? but not anything serious. Just a few sips I didn’t want to take three times throughout my life.

78. have you ever done drugs?

Aside from my prescribed and despite my friends’ best efforts, no.

79. who was your first real crush?

Vanessa Hudgens and whoever that boy who played Freddie from iCarly was.

80. how many piercings do you have?

None.

81. can you roll your rs?“

Yes!

82. how fast can you type?

Who knows??

83. how fast can you run?

I can’t.

84. what color is your hair?

Dark brown with a bunch of purple & pink in it.

85. what color is your eyes?

Brown.

86. what are you allergic to?

Severely allergic to dust mites and extremely irritated by pollen and highly perfumed scents. Which, as far as I’m concerned, means I’m allergic to the damn air.

87. do you keep a journal?

Used to. Don’t anymore.

88. what do your parents do?

My dad is an electrician. He does freelance work for people building houses on-island and my mom is a records management administrator at my bank.

89. do you like your age?

I guess?

90. what makes you angry?

Lots of things. I’m very prone to anger. It’s why the Hulk/Bruce Banner was my favourite superhero as a kid and still is.

91. do you like your own name?

Yes! I do actually really like my name, which sucks because sometimes I get upset or uncomfortable when people refer to me by it and why I like it when people call me Jay, but otherwise my birth name is just beautiful and I don’t think I’d ever be able to give it up.

That being said, I super love the name Jay and when I finally move out of my house and away from Bermuda, I want to try using it more socially rather than just online.

92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I don’t want babies.

93. do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Neither. I want another cat.

94. what are you strengths?

I write well, I can speak well and my pale as fuck skin doesn’t let people realize I’m mixed race so, like my friends point out, I get to skirt around the world, practically invisible and I like to work.

95. what are your weaknesses?

Procrastination, tendency to misery over small mistakes, tendency to blow up small things into large problems, tendency to feel abandoned by people who are not abandoning me, inability to properly fall asleep when I feel a lack of affection and touch in my life, inability to listen to people when they ramble on about things I don’t care about, inability to be upfront with how I feel towards my friends and how I feel they’re treating me, etc, etc, etc.

96. how did you get your name?

With my birthname, my mom picked it out from a book, I think?

With my preferred name,I was reading a book about a trans man called “I Am J” and when I got prompted about my name by a friend online, the name just popped into my head, felt immediately right and I used it and connected to it right away.

97. were your ancestors royalty?

I mean I doubt it but I WILL NEVER KNOW.

My mom is black! My dad is adopted! HOWEVER, FINDING OUT ANY ANYTHING ABOUT HER ANCESTRY IS MY MOM’S NUMBER ONE GOAL AND BELIEVE ME, ONCE SHE LEARNS THAT, I WILL LET Y’ALL KNOW.

98. do you have any scars?

Hasn’t this already been asked?

99. color of your bedspread?

Blue and white.

100. color of your room?

Dull green.

#yuuidankkuma #happy's asks #I WAS HOPING U WOULDN'T BC U WERE ON MOBILE AND SINCE I CAN'T FIND WHERE TO ASK PPL Q'S ON MOBILE #I WAS HOPING THAT THERE WAS NOT AN OPTION #U COULD LEGIT JUST SEND A RANDOM NUmBER BABE #THIS TOOK FOREVER #UR LUCKY I LIKE U

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cooperjones2020 · 7 years

Text

Give me shelter, or show me heart

My contribution to our collective flailing over that deleted scene.

Or:

Jughead has a panic attack in Ikea.

(title from “Only Love” by Ben Howard)

ao3—>http://archiveofourown.org/works/11746176

Jughead’s hand is on Betty’s headrest as she drives, the modern day equivalent of having his arm around her shoulders on a bench seat. It’s not quite as good, but he can still twirl of piece of her hair in his fingers, so he’s pretty satisfied. He’d wanted to take FP’s truck, but Betty insisted her mom’s SUV would be better if they got any little decorative stuff. The furniture boxes would be fine in the truck bed, but linens and pillows and things? No way.

He isn’t quite sure what she meant by ‘little decorative stuff’ but he supposes he will need bedding at least. Though he doesn’t understand why that requires a trip to the blue and yellow monstrosity he can currently see from the interstate while they’re still three miles away from their exit.

When they finally reach it, and while Betty navigates the labyrinth of access roads, he says, “You know, I don’t think I ever realized you guys had a spare room.”

“We don’t, technically. But Mom and Dad are gonna clear out the office in the basement.”

“What? No, they don’t have to do that. I can just sleep on the couch or something.”

Betty gives him a look as she pulls into the parking lot. “Juggie. You’re getting a bedroom. They don’t need a home office. They already have an office. It’s at the Register. And if this means I get you 24/7 plus the added bonus of them maybe working from home a little bit less? We’re not questioning it. Now, come on. I have Mom’s credit card and we have shopping to do.”

And with that, the case is closed. He lets her tug him into the store. She’s using her determined walk and she has an iron grip on his hand that only relaxes when she pushes a cart toward him and whips out the mini pencil an employee had given her to begin writing down serial numbers and weird Swedish names.

The sea of shoppers carries them forward on its current, and in each new section of the store the pile in their cart climbs higher. There’s sheets, pillows, something called a duvet cover. Even curtains and a throw rug. He draws the line at the decorative pillows though. Still, she sneaks in art for the walls and a matching set of lamps.

Then, he sees Betty flip over to the back side of her little slip of paper because she’s run out of space on the front. What the hell more does he need besides a bed? They could just drop an air mattress on the floor like Fred had and be done with it.

Look, Jughead likes to consider himself a pretty chill guy. And he’s got great focus; he can tune anything out. A skill he honed over longs years of trying to sleep with only flimsy trailer walls between him and his parents. He can sit in a busy diner for hours and only see and hear the words on the page in front of him. But this place? Sensory overload. He fights the urge to hide in the “Market Hall,” which seems to be code for the tchotchkes surburban housewives use to one up each other.

He succumbs to it in the part with all the bedroom set displays. When Betty finds him, he’s standing between a wardrobe and a fake wall concentrating on the feeling of the air conditioning in his nostrils.

“Juggie, come see this one bed over here, I think you’ll really like it—” She stops and studies his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just needed a break, that’s all.”

“Nothing is why I can see the vein pulsing between your eyes and why you’ve got your hat pulled down over your ears?”

He sighs and slides it back into place. “I thought we were just getting bedding and stuff. Betty, your parents are already doing so much. They don’t have to spend all this money on me too.”

“Jug, they want to. It’s not that big a deal. My mom gave me a budget and told me what she thought we should buy. I’ve been keeping track of the costs of everything as we go.”

He doesn’t know how to tell her that it is a big deal. That’s he’s never picked out his own furniture before, and he didn’t know a person was expected to have an opinion on the number of drawers in a nightstand and whether the wood should coordinate with the textiles. Hell, before today he’d never been fully sure what people meant when they said ‘textiles.’

He doesn’t know how to tell her that after months of steering all by himself, he’s afraid to let someone else get back in the driver’s seat. Even someone as terrifyingly competent as Alice Cooper.

“But, Betts, do they know they also volunteered to feed me? For every meal? Do you know how much I eat? Do you know how much a kid costs? And I probably eat twice as much as you and Polly. Well, maybe not Polly right now, but Polly normally. And, oh God, when the babies come? That’s three extra mouths!”

“Jug, stop.” She unhooks his arms from where they’re clenched, folded across his chest. She wraps them around her and slips her own around his waist, resting her chin on his sternum so she can look up at him.

“They know. You know my mother. By the time they asked us last night, she’d already calculated and recalculated the family budget from here til we go to college. I know it’s scary. And I get if you maybe…weren’t ready for this kind of intimacy in our relationship. I mean, last night in the trailer was one thing, but seeing me every morning with no make up and un-brushed teeth? Being around for every crazy Cooper argument?”

He tilts his head down and kisses her forehead. “I can’t wait to see you with no makeup and kiss you with morning breath. And I have a damn good pair of headphones. But your mom said it last night, you’re the perfect family. I don’t fit in that picture. Not least because I don’t have blonde hair.”

“I’ll dye my hair brunette so you won’t stick out so much. And there’s a very good chance the babies will have Blossom red hair.” Betty gives an exaggerated shudder then squeezes him tighter. “Please let them help. It’s just stuff. It’s just some furniture. We don’t have to get it all if you don’t want it, but don’t freak out and convince yourself you��re being a burden. You keep me sane and grounded every day. This is pennies compared to that. Besides, I’m sure you can just dedicate your first book to my mom and she’ll consider you even.” He laughs.

“Okay.”

They stay in the alcove between the wardrobe and the fake wall a few more minutes, and by the time they emerge, Jughead is no longer thinking about budgets and mouths to feed. Instead, he’s focusing on keeping an adequate supply of blood in the top half of his body.

In the end, they settle on a bed and nightstands, a dresser, a desk, and a roll-y chair with good lumbar support. For those late nights he spends writing, Betty says. There are a few tchotchkes, but not as many as before his freak out.

She smiles at him as they check out and it’s like winning the lottery and a lifetime supply of burgers all on the same day.

“Betts.” Jughead pulls on her hand and flicks his eyes toward the cafeteria. Betty rolls her eyes in response.

“Alright, I guess we can’t take your Ikea virginity and not have meatballs.” Jughead’s face splits into a shit-eating grin as he drags her over.

#bughead fanfiction #riverdale fanfiction #betty x jughead #betty cooper #jughead jones #bughead #riverdale deleted scene #riverdale #mine #give me shelter #one shot

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valkyrie-echo · 6 years

Text

Project Echo, Part 1: Chapter 24 (Agent Simmons)

Part 1 Summary: A long-buried Hydra disaster, a monster in the shadows, a missing child. Eight months after the events of “The Winter Soldier”, Bucky turns himself in to the Avengers on one condition: They must help him find a girl snatched off the streets by Hydra seven years ago. In their quest, the Avengers accidentally unleash a horrifying creature of darkness and shadow, intent on making their quarry its prey.

Chapter 24: Agent Simmons

May was kind enough to help load Steve's motorcycle into the back of the helicopter and fly him to Avengers Tower, though she was hesitant to land there. On the way he grilled her about the Shadow- or Shadows, if SHIELD's original theory held water. The attacks went unnoticed for years, before an Agent started putting the files together. May had never seen a survivor, but the Avengers weren't the only ones who made it through the attacks. Survivors were very few and very far between- out of nearly 150 attacks, only 17 had survived. Of those, only 4 could remember seeing the creature. They all described the same thing-some sort of massive beast, indistinct. Those 4 who remembered were attacked over a 8 year period, and their descriptions indicated the creature was becoming more powerful- assuming a gradually distinct form.

Other than that, SHIELD knew nothing. People separated by entire oceans were attacked simultaneously on only 5 occasions, which is why SHIELD decided there must have been more than just one. If it could use shadows to transport itself, though, it didn't rule out or in the possibility of only one creature leaving blood and bodies in it's wake.

SHIElD's research into the beast, coupled with what Sam had found out from their 'Project: Helius' file and Astana incident reports indicated the creature had been there, in captivity, for years. If people were being attacked all over, then there were definitely two. At least. God save us if they really hunt in a pack. Steve pulled his cycle out of the helicopter and waved to May, who flew as quickly as she could to retrieve Simmons.

Steve left the bike outside and headed in. As soon as he crossed the threshold he saw Tony, waiting, "I've got new intel on the Shadow-"

"Talk to your boyfriend," Tony cut him off and pointed back towards the engineering lab, "he beat you to the punch."

"What?" Steve walked quickly with Tony following. He pushed the doors open and Bucky jumped. He was still terrified, still twitchy.

"I went to see if he wanted to join Clint and I for breakfast," Sam explained, "He was having a panic attack, nearly wet himself when I came up behind him. We can't get much out of him," he warned, "he says he saw it, but he won't describe the thing. He's convinced even talking about it somehow draws the creature out. And check this-"

Steve came around to stand behind Bucky, who was staring into spice, wide-eyed, "He kept saying it was behind him, so I took a look." Bucky's hair was pulled up into a short ponytail, exposing the back of his neck. Steve angled so the light shone directly onto it- it was moist, and even as he watched the moisture seemed to shift outward- like something was breathing on him. "We can't make it stop, we've tried everything. Whatever happened to Bucky last night, that thing has him locked in.

"Shit," Steve swore softly, then walked back in front of Bucky and crouched down so he was squarely within his friend's eye line, "Hey, we're going to figure this out, OK? Help is coming. We'll break the connection." Bucky just nodded, he was more scared than Steve had seen him in- well, decades.

"What about you?" Tony piped up, "You said you had-"

"-news from SHIELD, right. Thanks," he prayed Tony would take the hint and drop the issue. They didn't need to be any more freaked out than they already were- especially Bucky, "They're giving us Simmons to help figure things out." Tony watched him a moment, then nodded. Cap could keep his secrets, for now. Steve considered telling Bucky his hope that Simmons would be able to break the connection between them and the Shadow, but he held back. Telling him now wouldn't change anything, and if Simmons couldn't find a fix? Steve didn't want to think about that. If she couldn't create some sort of anti-venom, chances were good the team would continue to be picked off, one by one.

At precisely 7 o'clock Steve woke up to a knock on the balcony door. He'd slept in a chair in the lounge, ready to let Simmons in as soon as she arrived. He scrambled to his feet and ran around to the door. When he saw the small scientist he breathed a sigh of relief and had JARVIS unlock the doors for her. Simmons blinked hard in the bright room, "Sorry about that," he apologized quickly as the door locked again behind her. It was going to rain most of the week, they couldn't even rely on daytime for a reprieve from the Shadow now- the clouds were too dense, "did May fill you in on the situation here?"

Simmons was loaded down with bags of medical equipment and books. Steve took half the load in one hand and escorted her to the medical lab as she replied, "I thought it would be best if you explained. What precisely do you need from me, and what work have you already done to solve your problem?"

Steve paged Tony to come down and explain everything to Simmons regarding the venom and the brain scans he'd run. She listened intently, interrupting on occasion to clarify results or inquire as to his process. As soon as Tony finished speaking, Simmons drew blood and tissue samples from Bucky, Hulk, Inessa, and Steve, then ran fresh scans on all of them with her own equipment. By lunch she'd kicked everyone out of the lab so she could run her tests and process the results. Simmons promised nothing, but she seemed optimistic.

Bucky had calmed down only slightly from the day before. He busied himself in the mechanics workshop with yet another engine to rebuild, but Steve could tell he was still frightened of whatever it was he saw in his dreams. It was frustrating more than anything- someone somewhere had to know something about this thing, what it was, how to contain it, maybe even how to kill it, but Steve left his crystal ball in the 1940s and that was precisely what it would take to get any answers.

It was nearly 3am when Simmons called up to Natasha and Clint's apartment and asked them to bring Inessa down. She needed a test subject, and all that was left of Inessa was what the Shadow's toxin hadn't destroyed- making her the perfect person to test an anti-venom on. "It's rough," Simmons warned, "it probably won't work on a large scale, but I think it's worth a shot."

"You're the boss," Clint had heard of the young doctor- he hoped none of it was exaggerated. Fury was certainly a fan.

Simmons produced a syringe filled with a slightly green liquid and injected it slowly into the vein of Inessa's arm. She waited ten minutes, then started taking more tissue samples and ran scans every half hour for three hours. The results were promising. "There's a seven percent decrease in the presence of the venom in her blood stream," Simmons announced, "Which means I just have to isolate which part of the anti-venom is working and try to find a way to enhance it so we can make that seven percent at least a seventy."

She kept Inessa for the next couple days and ran scan after scan on the girl. Everyone took a shift sitting in the observation room and waiting for any sign of results. Simmons worked tirelessly until, at long last, she was ready to test her serum on the others.

"Do Banner," Bucky nodded to the man, "I don't want the cure."

"Wait, what?" Steve was confused, "You're not sleeping, you're not eating, and you want to stay like this?"

Bucky nodded, "If we're all cured, no one will be left to warn the others when it attacks again. Until we figure out how to kill it, I need to keep the advantage."

"Natasha and I sensed it before it even attacked," Clint pointed out, "Steve, you said you knew it was there before it got you too." Steve nodded, "Keeping that stuff in your veins might just give it even more purchase here. You need this injection."

Bucky shook his head, stubborn as always, "It's the right call. I know it is."

"I will leave you plenty of anti-venom," Simmons announced, "if you change your mind, you can take some later on." he nodded.

Banner offered his arm to her and waited patiently for the anti-venom to take effect. After a few minutes, his goggles seemed to make the world darker and darker, until he was forced to take them off entirely. By the half hour mark his normal vision returned. He breathed a sigh of relief, "I have to say, it goes down smooth," Banner shook Simmons' hand.

Steve was up next, but he didn't see any change. His silver scars remained, as did Banner's. Simmons still had work to do, but curing the venom was an excellent start.

"Now," she turned to Natasha and Clint, "Inessa is an unusual case-"

"-yeah, we're getting that." Clint smiled.

Simmons laughed politely, "She was given a massive dose of the toxin almost directly to her brain, and a second dose later on. I've found evidence that her body may in fact be producing the venom on its own now- albeit in extremely limited quantities. It's unusual behavior for a venom, you see this sort of thing in HIV- it can convert cells in the body to replicate its own DNA structure. The anti-venom will work, and I will continue to search for a more permanent solution, but it will take much more time than this serum. Inessa will need injections every twelve hours to keep the levels down. If you maintain this regiment, I believe her brain will recover sufficiently to begin forming new memories. Whoever she was before is gone, but that doesn't mean her life is over."

"Aye aye, doc."

May was there first thing in the morning to pick up Simmons. She was sorry to go- if it weren't for Skye and her condition she'd have stayed to monitor Inessa's progress. "I'll keep working through the samples," she promised Steve, "refine it a bit more. Do keep me informed of their progress? And take samples from Inessa every other day- I don't know how quickly her body may adapt to the injections."

Steve smiled and held the helipad door open, "It's all written down, don't worry. We owe you for all your help. Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask," he held up a small, gift-wrapped box,"a token of my appreciation."

Simmons opened the box and immediately threw her arms around Steve in a quick hug. She was bouncing in place, excited- a vial of Steve's blood! He laughed, "Just no replicating the serum- even if the recipe is written out in big letters in there, deal?"

"Deal! And I'll copy you on everything I find!" she was still beaming as she climbed into the helicopter. Fitz got in before her and helped pull her and the gear the rest of the way.

"What did Captain Rogers give you?" he asked.

"You were standing right next to me, weren't you paying attention?"

"I was a bit busy, wasn't I?! Going over YOUR bloody notes- it's impossible to read your writing."

Simmons buckled in and the helicopter took off, "he gave me a blood sample, if you must know, so I can complete my research into Erskin's serum."

"Ah," Fitz understood, "that's why you said you wanted to drop it with the lab boys, so they could start analyzing it for you while you worked on Bucky's blood."

"No, silly," Simmons smiled pleasantly, "Bucky didn't want to be cured, remember? It's just Inessa's samples I brought back."

Fitz returned the smile, "Of course, how foolish of me." May started her landing pattern by a series of warehouses. Men in black suits waited by an open area, "I'll get started on the Captain's sample, as you requested."

Simmons handed him the vial and he climbed out, "Thanks Fitz!" he waved and the chopper took off again.

"Good work," Morris stepped forward and shook Tyson's hand, "I'm very impressed. Your gift will most certainly come in handy." He nodded to the vial, "Is that Mr. Barnes' sample?"

Tyson sneered and handed it over, "Mr. Rogers, actually."

Morris' grin was almost manic, "Impressive indeed! Your reward just tripled. I'll send the boys over with the next two installments by the end of the day," a guard handed a duffle bag filled with cash to Tyson, "Your next mission is in there too. If you do half as well as you did today, you'll continue to dwarf even our most lofty expectations."

"I gotta say, it's nice to put my gifts to use."

"I'll never understand why Hydra put you in the Asylum. With your help, they would have ruled the world."

Chapter 25: Transformation

#my writing #avengers #marvel

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tumblunni · 7 years

Text

Okay, kinda TMI talk here about period problems and Bunni Being Worried And Dysphoric, blablabla I’m just having a huge stupid panic moment right now cos I read some internet medical articles and LIKE USUAL I’m being all ‘oh god i probably have the worst case scenario disease on the list, I’m gonna fuckin die’ even though I literally have never been right about that even ONCE when I’ve done it. Still, it sucks having a stupid anxiety disorder cos you can just feel your body throwing you into panic attack mode even as you are rationally saying to yourself that this worrying thing has a 0% chance of happening. Its impossible to just choose to not be afraid of something... *sigh*... SO YEAH ANYWAY UMM Don’t want to worry anyone, I’m totally gonna be fine and I’m just being irrational mess about something that’s probably gonna be a super easy solution once I see the doctor. I’ll just book an appointment tomorrow or later this week, no biggie. And I’ll write all this stuff down so I can avoid freaking out and crying over how embarassing Vagina Health is when you’re trying to ask your cis male doctor about it and you’re a trans person who just wants to stab themself whenever they think about this goddamn Wrong Organ. like seriously, the biggest comfort I am using right now to come down from this panic attack is ‘hey, if it IS a big horrible cancer tumour, then at least it means they cant stop me from getting a hysterectomy now!’ :P so umm anyway that was probably too TMI already but I’ll put the more TMI stuff under the cut

OKAY! SO! I’ve suffered from REALLY HORRIBLY BAD periods for like.. ever They usually had an issue of being way too short but also WAY TOO POWERFUL. I’d have just a one day absolute burning pain blast where I would literally be unable to walk. LITERALLY BE UNABLE TO WALK! Like, I COULD NOT STAND that my dad was just telling me ‘;you’re lying, you’re exaggerating, its just cramps’ when the pain WASNT EVEN THE GODDAMN CRAMPS. I got fucking stabbing pain in my lower back for no damn reason, was inexplicably constipated and throwing up, got a huge hot-and-cold-flushes fever, complete muscle weakness in my legs which made them fucking shut down, and like.. LABOR SYMPTOMS. Its this weird horrible downward pressure pain in my pelvis and I was just a goddamn kid so i was like.. ‘i cant even tell if this is part of the constipation’, i would be spending five hours on the toilet desperately trying to shit out a shit that didn’t exist, as my body spasmed itself to death forcibly ejecting out way more blood than I ever thought I even had. I It took me so long to find out that that wasnt normal for a period?? That this didnt happen to everyone???? And cos its SO GROSS AND EMBARASSING to talk about these particular symptoms, I didnt tell anyone. Even when i finally was able to get some pain medication from the doctor, I just mentioned the abnormal amount of bleeding and pain, not the weird ‘wtf my bowels just stopped working as if my ovaries are constantly punching them for 24 hours’ part. Seriously just fuckin.. so degrading and disgusting.

And i was a fuckin 13 year old kid, this just abruptly started in my second year of having a period, and my dad was a sick fucker who ‘didnt believe in doctors’ and didnt believe i was telling the truth about my symptoms. So I had to live FROM 13 TO 17 without EVEN KNOWING THAT ASPIRIN AND IBUPROFEN EXISTED! i was going through all of this without even the basic pain medication most people have for normal periods! Once monthly I would BEG GOD TO LET ME DIE Seriously i would spend THE WHOLE 24 HOURS screaming in horrible pain on the floor that gradually got worse until I finally couldnt move my legs and passed out from exhaustion. And all i could do was hope that I’d get weaker each month and pass out faster, cos seriously being able to sleep through it was THE BIGGEST BLESSING EVER like DEAR GOD like ONCE I was able to get to sleep during the point where it was milder pain and then when I woke up it was already over and AAAAAAHHHHH I got to go a full two months without feeling that death madness again and seriously fuckin.. how the fuck could my dad look at this small child screaming and vomiting and sweating like I was in the sahara and gushing blood from every oriface cos i fuckin VOMITED SO HARD I VOMITED BLOOD and somehow still think I was just ‘making it up’

god one of my worst memories was how I had this huge horrible period death attack in the middle of school and my poor teacher was trying to comfort me and trying to call my dad to pick me up, and he just Did Not Give A Shit so the teacher tried to drive me home himself and just.. god I was so happy even as I was dying just cos I got to meet ONE PERSON who had sympathy for me and even actually said ‘hey you should see a doctor’. And all i gave him in return was throwing up in a trash bin for an hour in the back of his car, and then he had to meet my awful father and have a door slammed in his face. And then as soon as he got me inside the house dad just hit me and screamed at me for ‘embarassing him’ and ‘ditching school’ and man the only good side effect of being Fucking Dead On The Floor Already is that I did not feel a thing of it and barely even managed to hear a word he said. I think he just gave up cos seriously i wasnt even fuckin moving, i guess the fun goes out of beating your kid when they’re too fuckin stoned on their own vomit fumes to even be able to cry anymore. Oh and my other Even More Worse memory was when I missed the chance to see Howl’s Moving Castle cos of this shit. I saw like the first twenty minutes of it before my period hit while I was in the middle of the theater and then i had to spend three hours crying and puking and bleeding and laying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit in a cinema bathroom while my dad screamed at me as if i was purposely faking just to embarass him. Like seriously dude?? BASIC LOGIC, PLEASE! he was CONSTANTLY accusing me of doing really horrible manipulative things all the time, as some sort of twisted excuse to hit me and pretend i was an evil fucker causing every problem in his life so he didnt have to feel guilty about doing it. And it NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE! Even if i WAS an evil monster, what would that evil monster’s MOTIVE be? Why would i constantly do these evil things that serve no purpose except to get myself half killed by my dad? Why would I ruin a cinema trip that I asked to go to, to see a movie I waited all year to see??? And the most vivid disgusting part of it all was when he walked in and saw me like that and I LITERALLY ASKED TO DIE, and he LITERALLY LAUGHED. I begged him to call a doctor, he laughed and said I was exaggerating. I begged him to call an AMBULANCE, he laughed harder. I told him to his face that I wanted to kill myself just to make the pain stop, and he acted as if it was the funniest thing he ever heard, turned around and left and watched another movie. The poor cinema staff were left taking care of me while he ignored me, he wouldnt even take me home, he was just like... waiting til he finally got bored enough to do it. His biggest concern was ‘eww you made me walk into the girls’s bathroom’... I’m never gonna be able to stop remembering that, I’m never gonna be able to deny how absolutely certain I was that I’d rather end my life right there than live this nightmare for another month and another month for like fuckin 30 or 50 years. God I wanted to kill myself A LOT when i was with my dad, but this one was the worst cos for all I knew I’d be stuck with this pain forever even if I managed to escape him. I was so fucking ignorant! I didnt even know there was easy to acquire pain medication you could buy in any supermarket across the world! I mean, I still have the problem of my period being more severe than expected and all, but the meds at least made it NON SUICIDAL LEVELS OF PAIN. And god I once wanted to kill myself as a young child because I didnt know those existed. And I didnt know that transgender people existed or that there were words to put to my other feelings of disgust about having a period. I may still be depressed in a lot of ways, but I’m living a way better life now!

So umm yeah anyway my current worry today is because my period hasn’t ended for like 2 or 3 months now. I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened, cos it started with just light spotting and my period coming a few days late every month for like a year? and then it would last longer, and sometimes I’d get a small bit of bleeding suddenly starting up five days later and ending within a few hours. I sorta didnt think much of any of these symptoms and i cant nail down exactly when it just increased so much that it became this noticeably constant. And its REALLY weird for me, cos also all this stuff came along with my period not hurting as much?? And now for the last month i haven’t felt any pain at all, so I cant even tell which part of all this bleeding was the actual period. And I’m bleeding way less than usual, its just... constant. Its not even enough to be a big problem so I didnt wanna tell anyone and be a bother, its not like I’m losing blood enough to get light headed, its just annoying having so many pairs of underwear ruined and feeling more dysphoric 24/7. And it makes me pretty anxious cos I didnt know what was causing this and whether it was a symptom of some bigger problem- like, it doesnt hurt but maybe its a sign i have fuckin death doom cancer or something and its suddenly gonna start hurting any second now???

So yeah, today I finally stopped being anxious and decided I’m gonna call a doctor next week, and did some internet research to see if this is serious enough to really call the doctor. And cos I’m dumb I panicked thinking of the worst case scenario, but also doing that research kinda cheered me up cos now at least I know an explanation for why the symptoms seemingly got worse on random days, and like.. this isnt an impossible thing. Cos seriously, yeah, raised in a household with No Doctors Ever. i dont know very much about medical health, when this first started happening i freaked out cos i had NEVER HEARD of bleeding outside the regular monthly cycle and from all I knew it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE and I’m PROBABLY DYING xD But no, apparantly spotting and mistimed periods and going one or two weeks of constant bleeding are all completely natural variances that just happen, and you dont even need to call a doctor for that. I just need to call a doctor cos its been happening a bit more often than that, they say up to a month is a normal amount. And apparantly the vast, VAST majority of conditions that cause constant period are not remotely life threatening, the worst possible scenario is becoming infertile or just.. having to continue experiencing mildly annoying bleeding a lot. Apparantly a lot of people choose to not have an operation cos they don’t wanna lose the ability to have children, but fuck I’ve been hoping to lose that thing FOREVER, jesus christ! damn docs won’t let you have a hysterectomy ‘without reason’, like seriously why is ‘i dont want to have children’ not a reason?? and why is ‘i have never had sex and never will have sex’ not a reason and also why is ‘i’m nonbinary transgender and would like this surgery even though i don’t want genital surgery’ not an option seriously MAN PLEASE can I at least go on hormones doc. seriously everyone is being all ‘well treating your ptsd and depression is a bigger priority right now’ and i mean ITS NOT LIKE THERE’S A REAL DEADLINE FOR WHEN THAT’S GONNA END and DYSPHORIA KINDA DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER gahhhh god i really REALLY hope they let me have a hysterectomy i am gonna be SO DISSAPPOINTED now if it turns out this ovary failure is not the particular sort of ovary failure that requires removal of ovaries. plz kill them. pliz mr docter. they haf plagued my lyfe 4 too longe. XD god, sorry, like I said I’m just really dysphoric talking about Vagina Health Stuff so i’m getting a bit irrational and ranty. Its just like that ‘please can i skip the middle man and get to the end of the transition already’ feeling. I know it would be stupid to not listen to my doctor’s advice on the subject. Tho I do kinda feel like everyone is just patronizing me and doenst think that nonbinary really exists, i’m still trying to get my support worker to stop calling me a girl... MAN IM GOING OFFTOPIC TO A WHOLE OTHER ANXIETY HERE

Anyway! Researching into possible causes of it! It’s entirely possible i may have Adenomyosis, which would ironically mean I have an excess of estrogen in my system and am like.. Too Female To Female. I’m gonna fuckin cry if its this, that’s like the biggest fuckin sign that your sex doesn’t have to align with your gender! or lol maybe god is trying to compensate, i just imagine its like throwing too much sugar into a cake to try and make up for it tasting like shit. sorry dude, woman machine broke. BUT I don’t seem to have like a huge amount of symptoms for that one, aside from just the excess bleeding outside of my cycle. So I’m leaning more towards the ones that also include back pain and uhh.. gross bowel issues of embarassingness. It might be that I was always showing preemptive signs of one of these conditions!

One other that it could possibly be is Endometriesis which is a really fuckin cool sounding word but impossible to spell, lol. Apparantly its this TERRIFYING CONCEPT where your uterus is like.. a tumour in your gut. For whatever reason there’s uterine tissue growing in your intestines, stomach or other butt related tubes. I dont wanna read more about it cos its already making me terrified and anxious, so I dont even know HOW exactly that works. I mean is it like there’s a big ol hole stabbing through your organs connecting two unconnected things together?? Cos if so, I cant understand why its saying that its an easy operation and a never fatal condition! So I’m assuming maybe its more like everything is still separate but like.. the composure of the cells in your intestines is wrong? There’s like a tiny vestigal lump of uterine lining tissue in your stomach lining instead? i guess maybe they’re somehow vaguely related, so like.. if the human body begins from stem cells that can grow into any other cell to make a full human, it would seem entirely plausable that rather similar organs or skin thingies could accidentally form all vice versa. i guess thats also the reason for mutations like people growing an extra finger? I had a friend who had two extra fingers at birth, actually! I felt really sad when she told me about it, it was like years after we met that she felt comfortable enough to tell me about where her hand scars came from. i just remember i felt SO CONFUSED why she’d even think that like.. she had to be super certain i was a good person who wouldnt make fun of her. Why on earth would you mock someone for something like that?? How many other people must have treated her like shit if she feels this ashamed of her own hands?? And I felt really sad that she had them amputated too, I just find it a bit disturbing and surreal that there’s this societal thing of giving extensive surgery to very young children to ‘correct’ something that’s completely harmless just because it ‘looks wrong’. i’ve read stories about stuff like a child having like a split arm, an extra arm attatched at the elbow. And that particular operation to ‘correct’ it literally made the kid lose all ability to use both arms, just so they could have one ‘normal’ looking nonfunctional one. Thats messed up! Its EVEN WORSE that this happens the most commonly with intersex conditions, its invasive GENITAL surgery on newborn infants and even assigning them a random gender based on whichever form of genitals was easiest to ‘recreate’ with plastic surgery. These poor kids dont even get to know about what happened to them until they grow up and uncover this horrifying pandora’s box of medical files...

Oh, and speaking of intersex conditions, another possibility is that I might have PCOS, which is like being intersex in hormones but not outer genetalia. But I’m not sure about it cos I don’t have a lot of the more visible symptoms of it, aside from adult acne and ‘weight gain' which is.. well im pretty damn sure I gained this weight the normal way instead XD It also says that unusual hair growth might be a symptom, but it doesnt seem I have it in any of the places that’re common for the disease. I’ve had a weird thing of suddenly gaining light spots of hair on my belly and neck in the past few years. Its weird cos it really is just spots for the neck, its only growing in the right side in a little circle. i dunno what’s up with that! It sucks cos I really would like to be able to grow proper facial hair, I’m only able to do a very spotty mustache that just makes me look even more like a woman I think. i just look like an ugly woman, I feel like everyone can instantly tell I’m DFAB and they’re just laughing at me for this one failed attempt to look masculine. Also it fuckin sucks being overweight cos binders don’t work as well! They’ve gotta be wider to fit around a bigger body of course, but that means its hard to find the right size that’re be tight where it counts withough being tight on the shoulders. I think my current one is too baggy, I can’t stand even looking like a normal dude of my weight level, i cant stand even having regular fat guy ‘moobs’. I WANNA DESTROY THEM ENTIRELY!! Also, incidentally, I’m kinda terrified the most of being diagnosed with PCOS just cos it’d make my dysphoria worse. It’d kinda make me worry that maybe my identity is invalid and I only feel this way cos I have this hormone problem, and I’d probably refuse to take any treatment just in case it somehow cures my transness :P

The one that currently seems most likely is ‘uterine fibroids’. Apparantly its a non cancerous form of tumour that’s so small that its not remotely damaging, and surgery is very easy and non scary. The problem is just that you have so many of these small things slowly stacking up over the years, and being hard to spot until its already gotten bad. Plus even a small thing can be very painful when its in a very sensitive organ. I’m thinking its probably this cos they mention specifically lower back pain and constipation/other bowel problems. The endometrisis one would also explain the constipation during periods, but this one has a wider range of very specific symptoms that all seem to match.

Anyway, writing this up has helped distract me so I can calm down a little and wrap my head around all this. I just hope I can have enough courage to talk to the doctor about it and hopefully find out what it actually is. Oh, and a random tip I learned! Eating too much sugar increases menstrual bleeding! That was what was confusing me about my symptoms seeming to worsen out of nowhere on random days. I was super worried!! I guess the change is just more noticeable than it would be on my regular period, cos this one is lasting so long. I tested this out today by chugging one of the super grand milkshakes from that cool midnight milkshake takeaway shop, and I started getting the big ol scary clotty giant bleed within two hours. Waited a while til it stopped, drank another sugary drink, happened again! Definate correlation! I’m kinda relieved cos this definately proves it’s a period related problem, I’m not bleeding from like an exploded organ or something. This is definately specifically the ol menstrual blood, and I dont have some horrifying sudden septic wound in my vag out of nowhere. Tho seriously i dunno why I was worrying that cos its not like I’ve ever had sex, where would a wound even come from?? I guess I was just going nuts back when I was all uneducated and assumed it was Literally Impossible to have a period that lasts too long. Mannnn talking about this is SO GROSS I’m like cringing into the ninth dimension just from saying the word vag... Anyway now I’m actually feeling a bit lightheaded from the Even More So Than Before heavy bleeding, it probably wasnt a smart idea to test out the sugar thing twice in one day. Now I’m bleeding as much as I usually do on my regular period, which is probably not good cos I’ve already been losing a small amount of blood everyday. Apparantly carrots have a vitamin that helps decrease menstrual bleeding, but its late evening now and all the supermarkets are shut :P SOMEONE BEAM CARROTS INTO MY HOME, AAAAA lol i just need to calm down and get out of this panic attack, its probably just this in combination with the blood loss thats giving me lightheadedness. and then it makes me worry even more about the blood loss and enter an eternal death spiral of anxiety yet again... GAHH I HATE YOU DYSPHORIA DAY I WILL TALK TO THE DOCTOR AND SO HELP ME GOD I REALLY WISH THIS LEADS TO A HYSTERECTOMY seriously lol every time I’m doubting if I’m ‘really trans enough’ i should look back on this conversation where i’m wishing my uterus disease is the worst possible option just so i can get rid of the damn uterus.. ANYWAY BUNNI IS GONNA GO TRY AND CALM DOWN NOW COS I CANT CALL THE DOCTOR TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY

#gahhhh anxiety #anxiety and gross embarassing medical problems #and dysphoria #and apparantly carrots #carrots somehow control your uterus #al these years and ive never known to eat more carrots on the monthly time...

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inazuma-eleven-translations · 7 years

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INAZUMA DOUJINSHI LIST

So the 3 giveway winners can choose their top 10 (though I may only send 6, depending on what’s chosen). Note: Any doujin with *** means I’m unfortunately not willing to part with the real thing, but I’ll send you a scanned version. I’ll send translations along with each one. If a doujin on this list has no summary, it means I haven’t read it yet – but I can give you a summary if you’re interested.

Doujins can get pretty crazy…

1 I Will Only Love You – Tenma x Kyousuke – 3 short stories about KyouTen: Tenma wants to touch Tsurugi and cuddle and is upset when Tsurugi won’t

2 I Kinda Went Pretty Far – Chrono Stone: It’s like the characters are commenting on the Chrono Stone games. Kariya wonders about a mixi max, Taiyou strikes a cute cat pose, Shuu adds pictures to his uniform collection, and Kirino wants to move to the dinosaur era to live with his cute Shindou…

3 My Kouhai is So Cute It’s Dangerous – Yukimura x Adult! Fubuki: Fubuki asks Yukimura to wear girl’s underwear R18 shotacon (Note: very cute artwork but you feel pretty perverted reading it…)

4 Teach Me a Rich Life – Kariya & Kirino & Shindou – When Shindou invites Kirino over to his house, Kariya wants to tag along. Shindou and Kirino treat Kariya to how the rich live

5 SEED and the Beast – Teikoku and Hakuren (GO): Yukimura is a tsundere with his Captain, and at Teikoku Kidou orders Miyabino to speak and act more respectfully around Captain Mikado, to the small first year’s annoyance

6 Crossdressing Boy – Sakuma x Genda: I don’t know the actual name, but I really like this one. I recommend it to any GenSaku fan. Sakuma and Genda are dormmates at Teikoku, and after Kidou left Sakuma becomes very touchy-feely to Genda. It’s cute seeing Sakuma the one all over Genda, when it’s normally the other way around. Also involves Sakuma masturbating to a sleeping Genda while cross-dressing. That part was less cute unless you’re into that R18

7 Unknown Title – Kurama & Hayami & Hamano: Three of them reminisce about the first time they went on their first errand when they were 5 years old. Pretty cute. There’s a funny scene at the end

8 Play time is over! - Kurama & Hayami & Hamano: Really long doujin about the second-year trio. Tsurugi and Kirino also make an appearance. There’s a lot of pages, so if you like long doujins this is good

***9 With A Kind Person – Kitten! Tenma & Shindou, Tsurugi: How Tsurugi reacts after Tenma and Shindou are turned into kittens. Tsurugi tries to forgive himself for how he acted as a Seed

10 Raimon Chit Chat – Raimon (GO): Sakuma and Miyabino visit to give Raimon special training, then treat them and Kidou to ramen afterwards. Tenma messes around with Tsurugi

11 School Life with You – Girl! Kurama x Hamano: In Story 1 Hamano keeps bugging Kurama by sending badly-drawn pics, and in Story 2 Kurama receives a love letter which makes Hayami and Hamano curious

12 Gears of Love – Adult! Genda & Sakuma, Kirino x Shindou: Kirino’s too shy to confess to Shindou, but with some advice from short-haired Sakuma he makes his choice

13 Best Lovers – Genda x Sakuma: Cute doujin about GenSaku’s cute relationship. Very, very cute. Sakuma’s casual clothes are cool… R18

14 Your Father’s in the Way – Asurei & Fei & Saru: Pretty much what the title says. Saru’s trying to hang out with Fei, but Fei is conscious of his father. The art style is very similar to the show and the reason I bought it is because the artist is that Pixiv artist who draws all those show-style Inazuma pictures, Mizauhara Aki. Fei is extremely adorable here

15 Sweet Dancing – Crossdressing! Kirino x Sangoku: Sangoku asks his boyfriend Kirino to crossdress R18 (Note: Very pretty art. I think even if you don’t like the pairing you can appreciate how pretty Kirino looks here…)

16 We Love Coach Endou! – Raimon (GO): How the Raimon team react after Endou joins… Endou’s past has been a teensy bit exaggerated. In any case, all of them want attention from Coach Endou. Endou used to help Kazemaru tie back his hair?

17 You and Me etc: Kirino is embarrassed that he’s so turned on by touching his own nipples, which he shyly confesses to Shindou. Then he, Shindou and Tenma masturbate to each other R18 (Note: main pairing is Shindou x Tenma, with Kirino masturbating)

18 Terminus – Aphrodi: Aphrodi is forcing himself on Endou for some reason R18

19 You can Drink when you’re 20 – Aphrodi & Burn & Gazel: Aphrodi (who for some reason dresses like a girl on days off) asks Gazel and Burn to have snacks with him. This one is too unbearably cute for words. Aphrodi and Gazel are so cute I can’t. Aphrodi is the best part about this one so I recommend it to people who like seeing Aphrodi being a cute tease (and wearing girly clothes)

20 Dear My Hero – Minamisawa & Kurama: The reason Kurama joined Raimon is because he looked up to his idol Minamisawa… MinaKura

21 The War on Saturday – Kishibe & Sousuke

***22 Let’s go to the Aquarium on Sunday – Kirino & Kariya & Shindou: Shindou and Kirino invite a reluctant Kariya to the aquarium. Kariya tries to act up, but two continue to act parent-like

23 A Real Place – Tenma & Taiyou: Tenma visits Taiyou in hospital and brings cake. So unbearable cute it could give you diabetes. Taiyou stop being so cute

24 6 Minutes – Minamisawa & Kurama: Collection of MinaKura stories. The layout of this doujin alone is so incredibly pretty. It has the prettiest cover design I’ve ever seen. If you don’t own many doujins, it’s almost worth to look at this just for the cover and inside pages

25 Hurry Back Home – Minamisawa & Kurama: Kurama confronts Minamisawa after the match against Gassan Kunimistsu. Kurama misses him… MinaKura

26 Flowers and Everyone – Minamisawa & Kurama

27 I’ll Probably Drive – Kishibe x Sousuke

28 Let’s Play Dirty – Kirino & Shindou: Oh God. This one’s kinky. I’d rather give it away to the first person who wants it. Please someone take it away from me. But I should warn you, it’s hella kinky. That’s all I can say… R18

29 ***My senpai lives in Yamagata so I’m going to meet him on the overnight Bus – Kurama & Minamisawa: THIS ONE IS SO CUTE! Minamisawa asks Kurama to come visit him in Yamagata, so Kurama has to take the overnight bus there. It reminds me of very ‘typical’ Japanese life – conbini, pazu no pan, the overnight bus…

30 The Weather is Good Today – Fei Rune

31 24 Hours, 24 People – Coach Kudou & shotas (Original and GO): Collection of sketches featuring Raimon and coach Kudou in cute situations SFW

32 Clumsy – Kishibe & Sousuke

33 Why are you doing this to me? – Kurama & Kirino: Kurama is sick so Kirino is sent over to ‘take care of him’ R18 (note: art style is pretty crazy)

34 1117 – Kurama x Kurama: The dark voice inside his head keeps telling Kurama how useless he is while he masturbates R18 (note: same author as Why are you doing this to me?)

35 From Tomorrow Let’s Make a Bright Soccer Project – Coach Endou & Raimon

36 I Guess Sometimes I’ll Believe What You Say – Kirino x Kariya & Adult! Kariya: A senior high school Kariya pays a visit to his little senpai, Kirino, much to Middleschool Kariya’s annoyance

37 Loving You – Kurama & Minamisawa

38 Lovers in a Bathtub – Kurama & Minamisawa: They get caught in a storm on the way home from school with no umbrella, so Minamisawa invites Kurama back to his house for a bath

39 Make Believe – Mikado & Ryuuzaki (Teikoku GO) Ryuuzaki seems to be given a hard time by the rest of Teikoku, and Mikado comforts him. Ryuuzaki is gorgeous here

40 What if Minamisawa Senpai was a Girl? – Girl! Minamisawa & Kurama & Sangoku & Hyoudou: How Hyoudou feels about girl! Minamisawa’s transfer

***41 Playing With Fire – Girl! Kurama & Tsurugi: Tsurugi and girl! Kurama get caught in a rain shower and are forced to take shelter together. Girl! Kurama has big boobs and is the most cute thing

42 Prison Break Counter Attack Raimei – Chrono Stone: For some reason Protocal Omega and Raimon have lunch together with the Chinese dragon lady from Chrono Stone. Protocal Omega wear strange outfits, and Kirino wears a Chinese dress…

43 Cat Fight – Kirino & Shindou: Kirino and Shindou get into a fight and it’s up to Kurama, Hayami and Hamano to get them talking again

44 New Students of Shin Arakumo Gakuen – Taiyou & Kariya & Hakuryuu & Tsurugi: Kariya and Tsurugi are transferred to Arakumo Gakuen, a school for rich kids. Luckily, they have Student President Hakuryuu and School Idol Taiyou to guide them around

45 PPC - Crossdressing Chrono Stone: A long time ago there was a country that loved soccer, ruled by King Endou and Prince Tenma. There will be a party that involves cross-dressing. Come on, you know you wanna see Gouenji and Fubuki and Hiroto in a dress. You know you wanna. Most of the GO kids crossdress too. Also Shuu and Taiyou.

46 First Love Prelude – Kirino & Shindou: Collection of short comics about these two; like attending one of Shindou’s piano recitals, and attending a festival (Note: Would recommend to RanTaku fans, and the doujin itself is very pretty)

47 Wedding! – Kirino & Shindou: For Kirino’s birthday present, he asks Shindou to pretend they’re married. Artist of Himegoto.

48 Family! – Adult! Kirino x Shindou, Child! Kariya & Tsurugi: Dad! Shindou and Mom! Kirino and their two kids, Kariya and Tsurugi and their daily life. Kindergarden teachers Hakuryuu and Shuu guest star

49 Let’s Kiss? – Kirino x Shindou: Kirino just wants Shindou to kiss him already. Artist of Himegoto.

50 Darling So Cool – Ultimate Bonds Gryphon Movie: This is the craziest doujin I’ve ever seen. Kirino wants to eat a goat, everyone freaks out, Endou thinks soccer balls will make a good soup and Shuu makes t-shirts for him and Hakuryuu. Shuu also tries to eat Amagi, and there’s some TakuRan I think??? Tbh I didn’t even read this one, I just looked at the pictures. It looks crazy

51 Trio Role – Shindou & Isozaki & Kita: Shindou says he’ll do anything out of gratitude for the other two, so Isozaki asks him to suck his dick. Kita joins in R18

***52 Taisho Era Childhood Friends – Kirino & Shindou Artist of Himegoto.

52 Stop Lovers – Kurama & Minamisawa: This doujin is very, very long ‘cause it’s a collection of stories.

53 Lunch by the Lake – Shinsei Inazuma Japan: How Hiroto organised the match in the DanSen movie, Shinsei Inazuma Japan kids being cute (especially Kariya, Hakuryuu and Taiyou)

54 The Idol Inazumaster: Fubuki and some other guy (I have no idea… An OC? A character from the original series I don’t know? ) have a bunch of dolls of all the Inazuma characters. Kirino, Shindou and Burn are also involved… A lot of characters are involved. It’s VERY VERY cute

55 Seishun – Raimon (GO): Collection of funny scenes about the Raimon team. Art style is very similar to the show

56 Welcome Home! – Raimon First Years (GO): Shindou’s about to be discharged from the hospital, so the first years get together to plan something to welcome him back. There’s a pretty funny scene at the end you won’t see coming. Let’s just say Aoi slaps all of the first years, including Tsurugi

57 Our Declaration of Coach Endou – Raimon (GO)

58 Kurama’s Diet Plan for Minamisawa – Minamisawa’s gotten chubby while studying for exams, so it’s up to Kurama to put him on a strict diet (Note: I was hoping Minamisawa-san gained a lot of weight, but it’s not noticeable at all TWT pretty funny all the same)

***59 Lip Smash – Kita & Shindou: Three stories about Shindou x Kita

60 Inazuma x Pokemon – Original Cast: Endou sets off on his journey of becoming a Pokemon master with his Bulbasaur (Hiroto), Charmander (Burn) and Squirtle (Gazelle). This doujin is MASSIVE

#not translation #doujin list #inazuma go

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drshaffopolis · 7 years

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More Gallagher than Milgrim

“Okay, ready?”

“Ready.”

“Let’s sweep the garage.”

“Just a crawler over here, nothing I can’t handle,” Jason kept his fireteam updated as he gunned down a small robot, “I see three heading your way, Admiral. Look like maybe brutes … can’t make them out from here.”

“I’ve got your back,” Carrie decloaked, taking down one of them by surprise with a shimmering energy sword, “Uh, bad move!” She jumped back, just out of the reach of the two creatures angrily swiping their claws in her direction.

“Show off,” she said, as two perfectly aimed sniper rifle shots pierced their skulls.

“Nice work, Admiral.” Jason’s voice again, “Hey, check it out, there’s a car over here.”

“I call gunner seat!” Andrew opened the car door, as it was rocked by two explosions, “Shit! I didn’t realize there were traps in this game mode! Shit! I’m a dead. What a freaking noob move.”

In the upper-right corner of Jason’s screen, the name RearAdmiralPoopants2029 turned from blue to red.

“Any other vehicles in the garage?” Carrie asked.

“I don’t see any. We’ll just have to see how far we can get on foot without our sniper.”

“Right, opening the door… Oh, great, a big empty fucking field. That’s perfect!”

“Think you have enough cloak to make it to that clump of trees?”

“I can try. I say we both run for it; you’re not gonna do much good back there with just an assault rifle.”

One-third of the way across the field, an opposing team’s vehicle drove toward them, spraying fire from its mounted machine gun. Jason had nowhere to hide.

Carrie’s cloak gave out before she made it to the cover of the trees; she listened to the other team’s taunts as they ran her over.

* * * * *

“Well, that was embarrassing.” Andrew said at the between-rounds loading screen.

“Yeah… what are we going to do next time? Does anyone have a bomb defusal skill?” Jason asked.

“No, sorry.”

“No. Is Scout online? He always equips something like that,” Carrie was asking rhetorically, of course – she could see as well as anyone that he wasn’t.

“Probably doing his biology project that’s not due until next week,” said Andrew, “we go to school together IRL and he’s, like, a total goody two-shoes.”

“Ugh god, don’t remind me how much of an old lady I am,” said Carrie, the 53-year-old sales executive, who couldn’t decide whether winning or losing was more embarrassing, but was having fun, anyway.

"Well, I have one multi-tool. But it looked like there were two bombs,” said Jason.

Andrew suggested, “I can take out one with a grenade—”

Carrie interrupted him, “Sure, yeah, let’s just blow up the car. Fuck that car, we don’t need it, anyway.”

“No, no, the model TX just has a cargo compartment up front, so setting off that mine would barely affect it. The explosion will probably trigger the other mine, but if we time it perfectly, you can probably get in there with the multi-tool and disable the second one.”

“How does he know that? How do you know that? I’m picturing, like, fake car schematics on posters on your wall. You’d better be an automotive engineer when you grow up.” One never quite knew which side of the line between sarcasm and earnestness Carrie was on.

“He’s not even old enough to have a job, he has time for this stuff,” Jason was a college student, home for winter break. “You and me have more important things to learn.”

“You’re probably a really annoying intern. I take my coffee with two sugars. Write that down.”

“Looks like the rest of the teams finished the round,” Andrew read out loud, “49th out of 50. Yeah! We weren’t dead last. Suck it, SquadDoobieDoodz!”

“Whoo!”

* * * * *

The second round went more smoothly – the team’s plan to disable the bombs worked, they drove their slightly damaged car out of the garage and scored 7 kills before getting knocked out.

“24th out of 50, not too bad!” Jason exclaimed.

“Okay, kids, I do have work tomorrow, so I’ll be signing off on that wining note.”

“Good night, Carrie.”

“Peace.”

“Hey, looks like Scout’s online. Hopefully he’ll join the party.”

“Yeah, we’ll kick ass with him in here. I’ll ping him and tell him to play his infiltrator.”

“Leave it to Carrie to play an infiltrator without any ranks in explosives,” they chuckled.

“Um, guys?”

“Carrie, sticking around for another game after all?”

“Well… I can’t sign off.”

“Neither can I, that what I try to tell my parents every night.”

“No, I mean, I… Can’t. Sign. Off.”

“Just plug your headset into the charger, it’ll be fine. You’re worse than my grandma.”

“No, I really can’t!”

“It’ll boot you for inactivity. You don’t care about your stats, anyway, stop being such a drama queen.”

“I mean, I can’t take my headset off.” Carrie sounded seriously distressed.

“What, how can you not take your headset off? Like, you’re trapped in the game?”

“Stop being so gullible, Andrew,” Jason said, “She’s messing with us.”

“No, I’m really not, I swear. I think I might be having … I don’t know, a stroke? I can’t move my arms. If I give you my address, can you call the police?”

“Okay, but if I call the police and it’s a prank, it’s gonna be a prank on yourself.” Jason started to sound more serious, “I’ll get a pen.”

“Hurry, please… I’m having some trouble remembering my address… it must be aphasia or something…”

“I hope you’re okay. I’ll send a card to the hospital,” added Andrew.

“What the fuck! Oh my god. Oh my god. I can’t take off my headset, either.”

“Now you’re both definitely pranking me. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“No, Andrew, try to take yours off.”

“I’m not going to fall for it,” he lied. Then a few seconds later, “… oh my god, I can’t either!”

“How is this possible?” Jason asked.

“It really shouldn’t be,” Carrie was trying calm herself down, “these things tie into your senses of sight and hearing, but they can’t control your motor cortex. The FDA inspects these; there’s no way.”

“Well, maybe it’s an illusion of some sort… MOM! MOM!” Jason was yelling through his microphone, “Don’t worry, they’ll hear me.”

A few tense moments passed.

“MOM! I’m serious; come help me! I’m stuck! I need help! DAD!”

Another tense minute.

“Okay, okay, nobody panic. Even if we can’t talk out load, or whatever, someone is going to stumble onto one of us pretty soon. Either Andrew’s mom is going to call him for bed, or something. We’ll all be fine, and someone at OctopusGames is going to go to jail.”

Jason didn’t like the idea of sitting around. “If we’re going to be trapped in here for another hour or two, maybe we should explore. Try to figure out what’s going on? If they’re doing some illegal experiment, we’re better off knowing what it is, right?”

* * * * *

The team walked cautiously out of the garage. The saw a grenade explosion halfway across the field, and an opposing player spinning around and firing wildly into the air. He started walking toward them, fired a few more shots into the air, and continued walking in their direction.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones. He wants to talk.” Jason also fired wildly into the air, displaying their new ad-hoc signal for non-aggression.

BOOM! The player who had been walking toward them was gone in a blast from a tank that just rolled over a hill.

“Back to the garage!” Andrew yelled, “Looks like not everyone got the memo!”

They ran inside and sealed the door.

“This is ridiculous, there’s no way they can actually hurt us,” Carrie said, “for all we know, getting killed is our ticket out.”

“Maybe, but if you’re wrong, how hard would it suck if we had to stare at a loading screen in silence all night until Andrew’s mom comes to take him to school?”

After a few more minutes, they all heard an announcement, as if over a loudspeaker, “All players, please congregate in the valley for further instructions. Do not fire on each other unless ordered. Failure to comply will result in ejection from the game.”

“Do we listen?” asked Andrew.

“I don’t think we have a choice,” said Jason.

“We might at least get some answers,” agreed Carrie.

* * * * *

Players from dozens of teams were gathered in the valley. The valley was ringed by tanks, and hovering helicopters. In the center, a ring of soldiers surrounded a tank. These new characters were wearing military police uniforms, in stark contrast to the colorful anime sci-fi outfits that the players were wearing. The military police had firepower at their disposal on an order of magnitude greater than that of all the players combined.

The one standing on top of the tank was speaking through a bullhorn, “We’ve brought you all here for a little experiment. You’ll be participating in a series of drills, and will be released in 6 hours, when we’re all finished.”

Whispers and mumbles cascaded through the crowd. A shot rang out, hit the speaker in the head. The game character slumped over, dead. The helicopters fired a salvo, obliterating the shooter, his teammates, and a few other players unfortunate enough to be standing nearby.

Another MP climbed onto the tank and calmly continued, “Fighting against us is futile. We’re the moderators. If you break the rules, you’ll be killed.”

“You’d better have a good lawyer!” Shouted Carrie. “I refuse to participate!”

“When the time comes, we shall see. For now, I want you all to stay in this valley, except for you, you, you, and you.” MPs ushered four players from different teams into a prison bus.

* * * * *

Over the next few hours, players were ushered out, onto the bus, a few at a time. Everyone was talking amongst themselves.

“Where are they going?”

“So far, no one has come back.”

“What’s happening to them.”

“Maybe that’s the experiment. To see how long we put up with it.”

“What are we going to do? We can’t fight them.”

“What if getting killed is the ticket out? And we’re all afraid for nothing. I mean, it’s game. We’re wearing $500 headsets.”

“What if the bus is the ticket out? I mean, like, if someone figures out how to unplug, instead of the game character disappearing like normal, they just program it to hop on a bus.”

“If someone figured out how to unplug, wouldn’t they just disappear?”

“I mean, that’s what usually happens, but it wouldn’t be that big of a modification to have your avatar stay even if you unplugged, just like an NPC.”

“And then they’d program it to get onto the bus?”

“Maybe.”

Similar conversations were happening all throughout the valley.

Jason, Andrew, and Carrie stuck together. “We need a plan,” Carrie said, “but we also need to be careful; if they’re experimenting on us, there’s no way they can’t hear what we’re saying.”

Someone behind them coughed. They turned to see the floating text above his head, it read ScoutRegiment4lyfe, the fourth member of their squad.

“Scout! You signed on just as this weirdness was starting. Did you hear about it? Was it on Twitter? Did you come to get us out?” Jason was excited.

Scout didn’t say anything, but instead of motioned into the distance. Of course! The clubhouse; why didn’t we think of that before! The four of them split up; they had the first step of a plan.

* * * * *

Jason sensed his opportunity when another bus departed – the guards were distracted and not looking at him. Sure, they probably had some centralized tracking that told them where everyone went, but a handful of players among hundreds could sneak off without anyone noticing, so long as no one was looking directly at them when they did it, right?

Jason made his way out of the valley into a forest. The trees grew denser, as he approached the edge of the world. He stepped between the trees, until he found himself unable to continue moving. Here, even where there were gaps between the trees, an invisible wall blocked him. He turned “north” and kept moving, until he reached a small hut with no doors or windows.

Jason faced away from the hut, and did a spinning backflip onto the roof. Thud! He never got that right on the first try. Again… thud!

On the third try, instead of hitting the roof, he went straight through as if it weren’t there. The walls of the hut were only partially visible from the inside. One wall had a giant black triangle with pulsating edges. Another was see-through from this side. Players were clearly not meant to be in this part of the level. It was a design flaw; almost every map in every game had something like it if you looked hard enough. More importantly, the game’s built-in tracking and logging functions didn’t work, here. Unscrupulous players would often come in here to activate cheat programs; it was the one place they wouldn’t get caught and banned. Carrie, Andrew, and Scout were already there, along with two players they didn’t recognize – their gamer tags read JoeyBiddleRocks! and CowboysFan45252.

“Okay, I think that’s everyone we were expecting from our team,” said Scout, “Now, as for the plan to get out of here…”

“We know a glitch that’ll crash the game,” said CowboysFan, “sometimes we do it to troll if we’re losing.”

“Ass-hats.” Carrie hated playing against people like him, but that seemed unimportant, now. “Whatever, I guess you’re just kids.”

“Actually, I’m a corporate lawyer by day, believe it or not.” That was JoeyBiddle.

“Even worse.”

“Anyway, look, the way it works is this. If you hit a friendly tank with enough explosives to flip it over, while the tank is firing its main gun, it crashes the game.”

“So, that means we need to capture one of those tanks, and then we’re going to need like … 5 rocket launchers?” Jason asked.

“Two will do it if you put five or six mines under it.” Rocket launchers appeared, instantly, in JoeyBiddle’s and CowboysFan’s hands. “Here, trade weapons.” Andrew dropped his sniper rifle on the floor and grabbed the rocket launcher from CowboysFan. Another appeared to replace it a second later.

“Pretty handy cheat.” They all equipped themselves with rockets and mines.

“Now we just need the tank,” Scout sounded optimistic, “Carrie, you maxed out your stealth ranks as usual, right?”

“Of course, but… are we sure this is going to work? I mean, is crashing the game going to get us out of here?”

“Well we have to try something, are there other ideas?” asked Jason.

“Civil disobedience,” suggested Carrie.

“What’s that?” asked Andrew.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s that’? How do they not teach you that in school? The civil rights movement? Come on. Like, Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks and all! Ring a bell?”

“I have this feeling I really should know who they are.”

“Joey? Didn’t you just say you were a grown up? And a lawyer? Tell me you’re joking!”

“No... No, I’m not… This is really weird… could they be blocking out our thoughts or parts of our memories, too?”

“That’s insane!”

“All of this is insane! Look, we have to move!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll use my cloak to get into the tank and execute the driver. Let’s try this.”

* * * * *

They filtered back into the valley one at a time, so as not to get caught. There were still hundreds of players milling around, talking amongst themselves. There were a few dozen corpses, as well, as if another firefight had broken out. Hopefully someone else hadn’t tried their plan. If the moderators were prepared for it, it’d never work.

Carrie hid behind another player and engaged her cloak. She stepped out. No one seemed to react. So far, so good. She stepped slowly toward the tank. (cloak at 85%) She very carefully tiptoed through the ring of guards. (cloak at 30%) She quietly climbed on top of the tank, and slipped through the hatch just as her cloak gave out. The driver was facing the controls, and didn’t see her. For a moment, she could see her own avatar put its hand over his mouth as the game transitioned into its “assassination” animation.

Now, I just need another minute for my cloak to recharge; I can get out and under the tank to drop these mines and hop back in. This is the easy part, thought Carrie to herself.

At that moment, she heard a clank behind her. Someone had tossed a stun grenade into the tank’s hatch. The gig was up.

For the next 30 seconds, all she could see was her health indicator and heads-up display. Her ammunition bar went to zero – someone had taken her weapons. When her avatar’s vision returned, she was on the bus, along with the rest of their band of conspirators, with several MPs.

“I’m sorry, guys, I let you down.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Jason. “That stun grenade came from another player. They had the same plan as we did, and didn’t realize you were in there. It was just bad timing.”

“Quiet! We’re taking you to a detention facility.” Yelled one of the MPs, “You’re going to be disciplined.”

Carrie didn’t acknowledge the MP, and kept talking to her comrades, “A detention facility? On a bus? In a game world? When will any of this start making sense?”

“I said quiet!” The guard hit her avatar with the butt of his rifle, and Carrie cried out in pain. It sounded real.

“I will not be silent. I refuse to comply!” He struck her again.

“La la la. I’m still talking. La la la.”

“Another word, and we shoot you,” two of the MPs aimed their weapons at her head.

“Whatever, enough of this bullshit. Kill me! I’ll stare at a loading screen for a few hours. My body is probably lying in a hospital bed by now. And I’ll see you on a real prison bus.”

Pop! Pop! Pop! Carrie’s avatar stopped moving. For a what seemed like nearly an hour, no one said anything.

Finally, once the guards turned their focus toward looking out the windows, Scout whispered, “She’s not really dead, right? She can’t be. I mean, her real dead body, on her couch in her house? Or in a hospital? That’s murder.”

Jason answered, “My new theory is that this is all an illusion. It feels like hours, but it’s really only been a few seconds, like a dream. They can’t make us feel pain and we’re not actually paralyzed.”

“Her screams sounded awful real.”

“So do our guns, and they’re not. I mean, for all we know that wasn’t even her voice. You can pipe any sound through a video game.”

“Maybe we should all get ourselves killed.”

“Maybe.”

For the moment, however, no one was willing to risk it.

* * * * *

“Jason! Dinner’s almost ready!”

Jason stood up from his desk, closed the lid on his laptop, and walked down the stairs. He could smell the tomato sauce and meatballs. His parents always cooked his favorite comfort foods when he was home for the holidays.

“Playing that new game again?” his dad looked up from the newspaper to ask.

“Actually, I was reading about it. Sort of. It was a story about AI research.”

“AI research,” his mom said, “You work hard enough between your classes and internship that you need to just relax this week.”

“It was really interesting, though. Octopus is partnering a company called with DaveyAI—”

“Hah! I met their founder a few years ago at a conference!” His dad put down the paper, “What a quack! He’s one of those ‘singularity’ nut-jobs, thinks he’s going to live forever in a computer, like a god. You know, five years ago, this guy bought a bunch of warehouse drones and had them act out the Milgrim experiments?”

His mom chimed in, “Are you talking about BattleBotGhazi?”

“Yeah, that’s the one, he had these things ‘torturing’ each other, and talked big philosophy, ‘oh the ethical ramifications of the drone inflicting pain on each other because they were ordered to.’ He got some bad press and relished it. For a minute, he got to be the guy who was starting the conversation: Is it time for us to start treating robots as living things? To empathize with them? Do they have rights?”

“So, what happened?”

“Well, it all lasted about a week, before we collectively realized how absurd the situation was. I mean, here’s a bunch of inanimate objects, that are programmed to roll up and down aisles until they find a certain barcode, and literally nothing else, and he’s trying to get a reaction from all of us by having them smash each other to bits?”

His mom laughed, “A video went around where the drones had these big comical-looking mallets attached to them; the whole thing was more Gallagher than Milgram.

“Tell us, what’s he up to this time?”

“He said in the interview that they were going to use players’ in-game data from Octopus’s shooters to make simulated versions of our personalities, then put those simulations into various scenarios in the game to see how they respond. I don’t know how I feel about my data being used to create a copy of my personality; a computer program running around thinking it was me.”

“Hmmm… Let’s take checkers, for example. I could write a program that recorded you for a bunch of games, analyzed your play style, and emulated you.”

“Yeah, that’d be pretty easy.”

“And if mom played that checkers program, she wouldn’t be able to tell that she wasn’t actually playing her son. My checkers-bot would be indistinguishable from the real you.”

His mom pointed out, “But that’s not a real Turing Test. Sure, the checkers program would play checkers just like you, but it’s still just a few hundred lines of code. It wouldn’t, quote unquote, ‘think it was you,’ it wouldn’t ‘think’ anything at all.”

“Right, it’d fool you perfectly into thinking it was me, but only up until you tried to do anything besides play it in checkers. Then it would obviously not be me.”

“Now, using data from a shooter, a much more complex program that took a big team years to develop would be more impressive… especially if they fed in information from your headset chats.”

“I get it, though. You’re saying it wouldn’t be fundamentally different from the checkers program.”

“Exactly. A really good program might even be able to simulate your voice, chat about game tactics, but it wouldn’t be you.”

“It wouldn’t know anything about you that you didn’t talk about in the game. It wouldn’t have the same skills you do in the real world, it wouldn’t know what you learned in class last week, it wouldn’t even know what you had for breakfast unless you talked about it while playing the game.”

“Yeah, it’s still kind of creepy, though.”

“Well, it’s a privacy issue if, nothing else. You sign one of those EULAs, you don’t expect them to use your game activity for something like this. They should have to ask permission.”

His mom turned off the stove. “Let’s eat!”

#sci-fi & fantasy #scifi #ai #fiction #video games #singularity #short story

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (39/40)

But then he came back and won the World Series.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: thank you to @resident-of-storybrooke for literally everything, to @imagnifika for this banner, and to all of you for all of your support on this story and on others. I never expected to get quite so attached to this one, so I like that you guys are too. Misery loves company and all that. lol.

I hope you enjoy the last real chapter. The epilogue will be coming soon! ❤️⚾️

(If there’s any weird formatting, hop on over and read on AO3. Tumblr is being funky with my formatting.)

AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

Outside, thunder rolls, quickly followed by a flash of lightning that illuminates the bedroom.

It’s raining.

Raining.

On the final day of the World Series.

Fuck.

Emma jolts up in bed so quickly that her head gets a little dizzy, all of the blood that’s supposed to be in other parts of her body very obviously in the wrong space, and she has to shut her eyes to keep from throwing up while the sound of rain continues to pitter outside, a continual drip that she doesn’t want to be hearing.

It cannot rain today.

After a few seconds, when Emma’s head feels normal again and not like she’s about to feel dizzy enough to fall down even without standing, she opens her eyes and twists to the side to make sure that Killian is still sleeping.

He isn’t.

In fact, he’s not even in bed.

For a moment, Emma wonders if she should bother to go and find him or let him be by himself wherever he is in the apartment. He was understandably quiet on the entire way home and through dinner last night, and she could practically see all of the gears turning in his head. There’s an unwritten list up there of how he wants to pitch to each and every batter on the Dodgers today, and Emma is almost positive that Killian is currently going through it and changing his game plan over and over again until he perfects it.

Considering the fact that her phone says it’s three in the morning, Emma is thinking that she needs to drag Killian back to bed. He may not fall asleep, but he can at least stay in bed so that his body gets a little bit of rest. Maybe he’ll fall asleep. Maybe he won’t. But it’s worth the effort.

Sighing, Emma pulls the thick covers off of her legs and adjusts her pajama pants so that they’re not hanging below her ass from where they shifted in her sleep. She doesn’t bother turning any lights on, the city and the storm bringing in enough that she can see without it, and after walking out into the hallway, Emma doesn’t even have to look in the spare bedroom or the gym to find Killian.

He’s sitting on the window seat in the living room, his legs pulled up to his chest and his cheek resting against the window as he looks outside, very obviously awake.

Killian is going to stress himself out far too much.

Quietly, she makes her away over to him, and while he doesn’t say anything to acknowledge her presence, he does let his legs fall open in obvious invitation for her to join him on the seat. She does, slowly adjusting herself to make herself comfortable while Killian wraps his arms around her stomach so that the warmth of his palms permeates over her skin to warm her from the chill of the apartment. It’s November in two days, but New York is already cold.

There’s a brush of scruff against her cheek followed by the soft press of lips against the underside of her jaw before Emma sees the reflection in the window of Killian resting his chin on the top of her head.

His fingers tap against her stomach in a pattern that she doesn’t recognize, but she doesn’t mind. She may have come out here to convince Killian to come back to bed, to get some rest so he won’t be like a zombie out on the field today, but there’s something almost soothing about watching the rain fall down to the ground to cover the street under the florescent lighting of the street lamps. Even with the thunder, the sound of rain is relaxing, and Emma can understand why Killian was out here being consumed by it.

(She’d still prefer the rain to stop.)

“What are you thinking about?” Emma whispers.

“You.”

“Liar.”

Killian chuckles, something deep in his belly, and she can feel it reverberate throughout her back from where he’s pressed up into her. “I mean, at this particular moment I was legitimately thinking about how good you smell, but no, I haven’t been thinking about you and the softness of your hair the entire time.”

“Damn. I thought our deal was that you always had to think of me and nothing else. Don’t you love me?”

Killian squeezes her stomach. “It’s too early in the morning for you to be so cheeky.”

“Says the man who probably never even went to sleep.”

“I did go to sleep,” he sighs, and Emma watches his eyes flutter closed in the window. “I maybe woke up an hour or so ago to use the restroom, and my mind just…it didn’t bloody turn off. I have changed mine and Al’s game plan at least seven times.”

Wow. She knows him so well. It’s almost a little ridiculous. Not that she’s complaining.

“Let’s…” Emma hesitates, not sure what exactly what to say that she hasn’t already said. “Let’s talk about something other than baseball, okay? We will talk about it after we’ve gone back to sleep and gotten some rest, but for now, this apartment is a no baseball zone. So, talk to me about literally anything else.”

His fingers keep tapping against her stomach, and Emma moves to place her hands over his, a silent reminder that she’s right here and not going anywhere. She may have run before, may have not known what to do when he lied about his shoulder and his accident and everything that came with that, but she’s not going to run now.

This entire relationship has been terrifying, but she’s glad that she took the leap. They’ve conquered some big freaking mountains.

“I’ve emailed someone to see what I need to do to finish my degree.”

Emma almost jolts forward so that she can turn to look at him, but Killian doesn’t let her, holding onto her that slightest bit tighter so that she loses a little bit of her breath.

“When did you decide to do that?”

“A couple weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Wasn’t sure if I was going to go through with it. I’m…I’m still not sure when exactly I’ll go back. The woman said they could arrange online classes for me, and they can help arrange a different schedule. I don’t know if I’d start during the off season and see how many credits I can finish before next season starts up. Or maybe I’ll go all year round even while playing. I could always wait until I’m retired, but I don’t exactly want to do that.”

Emma tries to take it all in and figure out the best way to respond to him. This is obviously something Killian has thought about a lot. There’s not a reason in the world for Killian to have to go back to school. He’s not going to be a physics teacher or professor any time soon, if at all, so this is obviously something he’s decided to do for himself just to have as an accomplishment.

Killian deserves to get to do things for himself.

“I think you’ll figure out exactly how you want to do it, babe. I’m really proud of you for doing that.”

“It’s nothing to be proud of.”

“Too bad.” She pats his hand again and shifts her head back so that she can kiss the underside of his jaw. “I’m proud of you. Unless this is some kind of long con to actually become professor Jones so that Will can’t say it mockingly anymore.”

He chuckles, and she kisses his jaw again. “Damn. You’ve foiled my plan.”

“I knew it,” she yawns, unable to cover her mouth with her hands. “You know, when I graduated from college, I got some kind of fancy ink pen that I never used. They gave them to all of the journalism majors. What do you think they’d give physics majors? Calculators?”

“No, because we’d already own a hell of a lot of those. I might need to get some new ones, though. And possibly find some old books and go through them. It’s been almost a decade. I’m not sure I even remember anything.”

“We can go back to school shopping for you. We’ll have to take a picture of you in your cute little outfit with your backpack on your shoulders. I’ll put it on the fridge and everything.”

“You realize I’m doing this online so I’ll just be wearing my regular clothes sitting on my ass in here. I may not even wear clothes while I’m doing it.”

“Well, I can still put that picture on the fridge, but we’ll have to take it down every time someone comes over. No one needs to see that much of you.”

Killian practically purrs in her ear as he trails hot kisses down the side of her neck, and it sends chills down her spine and up over her skin. “You certainly do. You could see it now if you want to.”

Emma brings her bottom lip between her teeth and tries to rein in any budding arousal. “As tempting as that sounds, you and I are both deliriously tired, and I really only came out here to get you to come back to bed…to sleep. We should go do that.”

Teeth bite down onto her neck. “Fine. That seems like the sensible thing to do, and as an almost college man, I have to be sensible, right?”

“Or binge drink and then study all night for a test at the last minute even though you had weeks to study for it?”

“Do people still do that?”

“I think so.”

“We’re really old, Swan.”

“Yeah,” she sighs as she stands from the bench and pulls Killian up with her, “but I think we’ve still got it.”

Emma easily falls back asleep, especially when Killian closes the curtains and turns on the box fan to drown out the sound of the storm outside, and while she doesn’t really know when Killian fell asleep, he’s slumbering away when she wakes up, his breath coming out in small puffs and his hair falling over his forehead. The weight of the world isn’t on his shoulders right now. He’s not thinking about what he’s got to do today or not do today, and Emma hopes that he sleeps as long as he can.

Hopefully right up until he needs to eat breakfast and go to practice.

But hopes are not always reality, and in reality, Killian wakes up a little past nine and all of the tenseness in his body returns. She can see it in the set of his shoulders and the way that he carries himself as he does some stretches to loosen his body up before making breakfast and getting on with his morning routine. She’s terrified, her stomach absolutely in knots, but she’s not going to tell him that. Emma is sure that he’s aware that she’s in this and wants this for both herself and for him, but she’s not going to tell him and put any extra pressure on them.

It’s more than just one man out there. It’s more than just Killian, but Emma understands how Killian works. If they win, he won’t take any credit for it. If they lose, it’ll be entirely his fault. She’s sure he’s talked himself into thinking otherwise, but his brain will revert back to that.

The storm in the night seems to have disappeared, the streets beginning to dry even if large puddles of rain water are left in dips in the cement, and according to all forecasts, it should be dry enough for them to play today. There are supposed to be light sprinkles, maybe a scattered storm or two, but it’s all sunshine when the game is scheduled to start. If there are any delays, Emma hopes that they aren’t long.

Killian may very well lose his mind.

(She may too.)

He’s currently showering, and while she hasn’t been keeping track of how long he’s been in there, it’s been long enough for her to curl her hair. She’s entirely sure that the humidity is going to cause it to frizz and fall flat, and the network will probably have her hair constantly attached to a curling iron and hair spray until her hair is like a bird’s nest of tangles and product.

Whatever it takes to look good on TV today, right?

She’s supposed to wear a dress or a skirt, something form flattering and attractive for television, but since there are no technical rules as long as she stays dressed, Emma completely ignores that suggestion in favor or her favorite jeans, a pair of trusty boots, and one of Killian’s jerseys, buttoning it up and tucking the front into her jeans. She’ll have to put on a sweater later to combat the cold, but she doesn’t want to do that just yet.

It’s ridiculous, but putting on the sweater means it’s time to go and she’s just…she’s not ready. They need a little more time.

“Are you wearing my jersey?”

Emma jumps and clutches her hand against the chain around her neck that’s visible with the way the jersey is buttoned up. She did not hear the shower turn off or hear Killian open the bathroom door. But considering he’s standing in the doorway with a towel wrapped low around his waist, he obviously did.

“Yeah?”

“What about – ”

Emma shrugs, a smile stretching across her lips. “Fuck them. I don’t give a damn about what anyone has to say. I can do my job while also dating you. It’s not a mutually exclusive thing, and today is a big day. If I want to wear the jersey, I can wear it now.”

Both of Killian’s brows rise high on his forehead, but he’s smiling too as his arms cross over his chest so that his muscles bulge the slightest bit. “I think this is the most attractive you’ve ever been.”

“Because I’m wearing your jersey? I thought we’d gone over that before. I – ”

“No,” he laughs with a shake of his head. “Because you’re saying fuck ‘em to all of the people who we both know will say shit about you wearing that. I personally think they should all pull the sticks out of their asses, but then what would they have to talk about?”

“Happy things?”

“Nah, that’s too boring for them.” Killian walks toward her, a definite swagger in his stride, and the cool tips of his fingers come up to touch her cheeks as he cups her face and brings his lips down to move over hers, slowly and thoroughly kissing her until she can’t breathe. It’s the good kind of breathless, though. “I don’t know if I’m going to kick ass today, but I know that you are. It’s pretty much undeniable.”

“You’re going to kick ass. Think it into existence, twenty-nine.”

“Yeah, but I don’t…I don’t know. I – ”

Emma sighs, and she swears it goes all the way down to her bones. There’s only so much she can say. At the end of the day, Killian has to be the one to believe in himself.

“You know,” she starts as her hand reaches up to her neck so that her fingertips ghost over the cool metal again, “about two months ago I had this really big thing happen to me, and I don’t think I’d ever been that nervous. Well, that was until my idiot boyfriend decided to play with an injured rotator cuff because he was too dumb to say something to anyone.”

Killian playfully rolls his eyes, but she sees his jaw tick. Still such a stubborn ass.

“Anyways,” Emma continues as she reaches up to unclasp the necklace, grabbing onto it and the ring before guiding her hand up to his where they’re still resting on her cheeks. Killian’s blue eyes widen so that she can see every color in them, and they get the slightest bit bluer when she places the ring in his palm and closes his fingers over it. “I was given this really beautiful, special ring so that I had a reminder that someone was cheering me on even when I couldn’t hear the cheers. You had this for a lot of years. I think you might need it back.

Killian’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down before he starts shaking his head from side to side, his eyes closed so that black lashes land against his cheeks.

“No, no, no. I’m just…no, Swan. I’m not taking it back.”

“It’s your mom’s ring.”

He opens his eyes then so that she’s consumed by the blue even as he steps away so that they’re no longer touching each other. Has she done something wrong?

“Aye, my love,” he mumbles even as he opens up the chain and wraps it around her, easily clasping it back so that it hangs around her neck once more. “It was my mom’s, but I gave it to you. I’m not taking it back. It’s yours now.” Killian smiles at her, the soft one that makes his eyes crinkle that she’s come to know as her own, before bringing his closed fist to his chest and tapping right over his heart. “I know right here that people are cheering for me. I know that my mom, my family – I know that you are cheering for me no matter what happens out there today.”

Emma’s not crying. She swears that she’s not crying and that the tears in her eyes are allergies or something, but that would be a lie. It would because she loves him a ridiculous amount, and she’s proud of him over everything that he’s done and been working toward lately.

He’s a good man with a good heart, and he deserves all of the world.

Stepping forward, Emma reaches up to tuck his wet hair behind his ear as her thumb traches over the apple of his cheekbone. “I love you, and I don’t care what Liam or Elsa or Addy says. I’m your biggest fan in that stadium today, and I promise I’ll be cheering you on no matter what happens. Tonight, win or lose, you and I are celebrating, okay? We’re going to sit in our pajamas stuffing our face with all of the food that you’ve been stress baking, and we’re going to drink copious amounts of alcohol.”

He arches his brow. “This sounds unhealthy.”

“You’ll have either won or lost the freaking World Series. I think we deserve a little unhealthy.”

“I think you might be right,” Killian chuckles, dipping his head down to slant his lips over hers. “I love you too, by the way. I’m probably going to tell you that a lot today.”

“You won’t hear any complaints from me.”

“I don’t believe that at all.” He winks, and Emma swears that her heart flutters. “I’m going to get dressed, and then we can go to the stadium, okay? I want to get my practice in early in case it does rain again.”

“Yeah, sounds perfect.”

-/-

The stadium is nothing like it was yesterday morning. There’s no empty field that’s covered in morning dew with a quiet air around it that allows someone to simply sit out there and think about the history of this place that’s happened before and the history that’s still to come both for the team and for each individual player and for those who love them. People are bustling everywhere. Vendors are already in their stalls, executives are walking up and down the hallways in their suits, heels clacking along the tile, and players are seemingly everywhere. Emma wasn’t quite expecting anyone to be in the clubhouse, maybe just a few people, but they’re all watching old tapes, eating food, stretching, and bouncing strategy back and forth.

It’s like being thrown into chaos with no hope of getting out, but Emma manages to when Ariel pops up out of nowhere with a bright smile on her face that only broadens the moment she sees Emma.

“Perfect.” Ariel claps together her hands. “Just the couple I was looking for.”

Emma points to herself. “Us?”

“Yep. Things are about to get really crazy today, and I need the two of you to pose for a picture before we forget. It’s just perfect that you’re wearing his jersey.”

“Why do you need a – ”

“Just go with it, Swan,” Killian laughs as he wraps his arm around her waist and tugs her closer so that Emma can rest her hand on Killian’s chest. “When it comes to A, it’s best to obey.”

“That sounds like a great motto.”

“Kind of like a cult, though.”

“Just a little bit.”

“Shut up,” Ariel groans as she lifts her phone in the air. “And smile, I mean. Don’t look like I’m forcing you to do this.”

“But you – ”

Emma doesn’t get to finish her sentence before Killian is squeezing her hip and making her squeal as he brushes his lips against her cheek so that his scruff scratches at her skin like the asshole that he is.

But at least he’s an asshole in a good mood.

“Perfect,” Ariel sighs. “Now, Emma, I need you to come with me.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s about to get even crazier in here, and I’m saving you from the madness.”

Emma doesn’t even get a chance to tell Killian goodbye or good luck before Ariel is dragging her by her forearm out of the clubhouse and down the hallways of the stadium going on and on about everything that’s going to happen today like Emma doesn’t already know. Of course, there are several things that Emma didn’t know. Apparently, her plan for she and Killian to go home and eat junk food and get drunk isn’t really going to happen. He’s got press obligations that far exceed anything that she does, and then there’s usually some kind of team celebration that they all do together. It could be moved to the next day, but that’s usually reserved as an off day before the city does a parade and other celebrations and…

This is only if they win.

Emma points that out, and Ariel immediately corrects her and says “when.” She’s convinced that they’re going to win, and she will not take any other kind of thinking around her. Positive vibes only.

Emma and Killian are totally going home and eating junk food and possibly getting drunk before falling in bed. To sleep. Everything else can wait. And if it can’t, fine. They’ll deal with that and do all of the celebrations and be happy about it because it’s a really big deal, but at some point in the next week, they’re both locking the door, turning off their phones, and then not letting anyone or anything bother them.

Unless it’s the food delivery guy. He can bother them.

But that’s it.

She’s gained approximately ten new wrinkles on her face in the past two weeks, none of them coming from being a year older, and Emma very much needs the season to be over for her own sanity.

Without a doubt, she’ll start to miss baseball in no less than two weeks.

Ariel Fisher, however, lives and breathes baseball and managing baseball players and quite possibly being the most supportive woman on the planet – and that includes Mary Margaret Nolan and her continual positivity – and even if the Yankees sucked, she would somehow cause them to win by her willpower alone.

Emma has known her in a personal capacity for over half a year now, and she’s still not used to all of the never-ending energy. Ariel probably had a full night’s sleep last night. Or maybe she didn’t sleep at all, and she’s in that stage of sleep deprivation where everything is heightened and you’re hyperactive.

Emma would bet on the latter of the two.

But Ariel does eventually finish talking once they’ve made it far away from offices and weight rooms and restaurants up to the suites that Emma is so familiar with now. She’s also familiar with all of the people waiting inside. Killian’s family doesn’t joke around when it comes to baseball. There is no reason for them to be here this early, and yet here they are.

And suddenly Ariel has disappeared, probably off to talk someone else’s ears off.

“That isn’t rain.”

“That most definitely is rain.”

“Anna,” Kris sighs as he and Anna stand at the windows looking out to the field, “that’s rain. It’s this thing that happens when – ”

“I don’t need a science lesson. I need it to stop.”

“I’m pretty sure the entire team is doing some kind of rain prevention dance downstairs because I think we all need it to stop.”

Everyone turns to look at her like they didn’t hear she and Ariel come in.

“Emma,” Lucy shouts, scrambling up from the couch to run toward her and tackle Emma in a hug that’s quickly joined by Addy.

“Hey, girls. Are you guys excited?”

“I’m bored,” Addy sighs out, which is not at all what Emma was expecting.

“Bored? How can you be bored?”

“Because I want the game to start! It’s taking too long, and we’ve been in here forever.”

“It’s been fifteen minutes,” Liam tells Emma as he walks over to her and scoops up his daughter while bending to kiss Emma on the cheek. “But we’ve been very impatient with waiting even though whining isn’t going to speed up the game time.”

“So it’s been a fun morning in your house then?” Emma asks.

Liam rolls his eyes, and even though he and Killian don’t look too much alike, she can see the resemblance there. “Joyous. And from my chat with Killian this morning, I can tell it was about the same at yours with the sleepless night.”

“Well, it is a big day today.”

“Just look up the weather forecast, Anna,” Elsa groans as she moves to rest her head against the countertop. “It’s supposed to rain in the middle of the game. We have known that the entire time, but the sun is literally coming out. It will be dry enough to start play on time.”

Emma arches her brow. “Was Elsa the one not sleeping?”

“Yeah,” Liam mumbles as he adjusts Lucy on his hip, “yeah, she was. She and Addy sat in the living room all night because they couldn’t sleep. I expect them to crash soon.”

“I’m fine,” Elsa promises even as she takes a sip of coffee out of the largest mug Emma has ever seen. “I’m exhausted, but I’m fine. Where in the world did Ariel go?”

“I have no idea. She was here and then she wasn’t. I’m not even sure why she pulled me away from the clubhouse. It’s all been a bit of a blur.”

“Her nickname could be The Blur or something ridiculous like that. She’s always zooming in and out of rooms.”

“How’s Killian?” Anna asks as she steps away from the windows. “Is he freaking out? Has he tried to run away yet?”

Emma’s hand reaches up to toy with her necklace, moving the ring from side to side and choosing not to worry about the weather any more than she already has. “He’s fine. He’s freaking out, but he’s fine. All he needs is for the game to start so he can stop psyching himself out.”

“I want the game to start too,” Addy whines once more as she falls out on the couch and throws her arm over her eyes.

“Darling,” Liam laughs, “have we ever considered that we made her too big of a fan?”

Elsa shrugs. “I don’t think we ever even had a choice.”

Emma stays up in the suite talking and eating cheeseburger sliders and drinking hot chocolate for the next hour, and it’s enough distraction that she doesn’t really think about what’s going on and the nerves radiating deep from her stomach and out to every inch of her. That only really begins when she has to officially start working, leaving the suite to walk to the ESPN booth and get her microphone hooked up to her and prepped for the start of the game. They have her hair curled again, just like she thought, and Isaac and James most definitely eye the jersey she has on. Emma ignores them, even if she does put on her sweater and take the raincoat the network offers her, and leaves the booth to go find the spot they have saved for her behind home plate.

People are filling the stands, a hushed murmur covering the stadium as the sun continues to peek through dark clouds, and Emma’s eyes are stuck on Killian as he continues the last of his pre-game warm-ups.

This exact day last year was one of the craziest days of her life, and she doesn’t think any of it could compare to this.

“You look like you’re going to vomit,” Jeff murmurs as he sets up the protective cover over his camera.

“I kind of feel like I am. Don’t date someone on the team. It’s too much.”

“I think I’m safe in that department.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” he laughs, and Emma doesn’t miss the rare smile on Jeff’s face. “You ready to go?”

Emma adjusts her earpiece. “Yeah, I’m ready to go.”

-/-

The Dodgers score on Killian’s first pitch.

A home run right off the bat – literally – and Emma feels the collective groan around the stadium in her bones. That is not what was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a strike, then two more, and an out. Easy as pie, right?

(Killian would tell her pie isn’t actually easy.)

But that’s obviously not how things are going to go today.

Sports have really got to be a little less dramatic. Her nerves can’t take it. Can’t things just be simple? Can’t they have gone back to the beginning and have won in four straight games instead of losing enough so that they’re in game seven of the World Series?

“If” doesn’t exist, especially in sport, Emma reminds herself. That’s what Killian would tell her, and that’s what she has to remind herself.

It only works a little bit.

One pitch at a time. It’s how Killian is going to be out there, and it’s how Emma is going to be sitting in the stands talking back and forth with the guys up in the booth thinking the same thing. It’s kind of hard to think that, though, when there’s a continual string of near hits and misses and Isaac and James up in the booth won’t stop being so damn negative that it makes Emma want to scream.

The score is 1-0 in the top of the third inning. It’s not the end of the world.

The looming dark sky overhead is kind of making her think that way.

“I’m too nervous, Rubes,” she mumbles while Killian winds up his arm to throw a pitch. There’s two men on base, both due to errors from King. She’d feel petty and a little glad if she didn’t need him to play well for the team. “Tell me about wedding stuff. Distract me.”

There’s static in her earpiece before Ruby’s voice comes in. “We’re getting married on a beach with no clothes on. Don’t worry. We can get waxed on the bachelorette weekend, so we’ll all be as smooth as babies.”

Emma huffs. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m hysterical,” Ruby corrects, and a part of Emma knows that Ruby and Graham might legitimately get married like that. “We haven’t planned any more than what we talked about last week. Small, intimate, and then a killer party with good food and drinks. Finding a location is hard. Everything is so expensive.”

“Destination wedding?”

“How is that cheaper?”

“I’m sure you can find a really inexpensive place in Nebraska or something.”

“You can get married in Central Park for one hundred dollars,” Jeff adds in, and Emma snaps her head away from the game to look at him. He shrugs his shoulders. “What? I know things.”

“I think the one hundred dollars is only if you want to get married in a certain spot, though,” Ruby sighs. “We’re going to keep looking. Graham said that he’d ask some of his buddies at the precinct if they knew of any spaces. It doesn’t have to be pretty since I know Mary Margaret will work her magic to make it that way no matter what.”

Killian’s pitch lands right in Will’s glove, and the umpire calls the batter out. Thank goodness. She doesn’t know what she’d do if someone else got on base. Then they’d be loaded with no outs, and things would pretty much be screwed from here on out.

Emma reaches over into her bucket of popcorn (she bought the jumbo size because she is stress eating) and stuffs a handful into her mouth instead of eating one or two at a time. One piece falls out of her mouth and down her shirt, landing somewhere in her bra so that she has to pick it out.

“You’re on the jumbotron right now, Emma,” Ruby giggles.

“Ah, fuck,” Emma mumbles as she looks up to see there be a replay of her digging in her shirt. “I hate everything.”

“That’s a little dramatic.”

“Me eating is like a running joke this season. I don’t get it.”

And she doesn’t really have time to get it before there’s the thwack of a ball against a bat straight past first base and away from everyone.

Shit.

It’s not good. Not at all. The two runners already on base get home, and the batter manages to make it to second.

It’s 3-0, and this is not at all how today was supposed to go.

Emma’s lungs are doing that thing again where they’re not taking in air, and there’s not enough popcorn in the world to make any of this better. If the tick in Killian’s jaw is any indication, she knows that there’s no one in the world more pissed at what’s happening than him. They don’t have anything together, and if they don’t get it together soon, they’re going to run out of time.

And then the sky opens up, little droplets of rain falling and landing on Emma’s nose, and that saying “when it rains, it pours” seems oddly appropriate right now. Her sadistic sense of humor is about to get worse.

They can’t lose. They can’t. she won’t allow it.

The rain keeps falling, a steady downpour of water, but it’s not enough to call for the rain delay. Not yet. And Killian is able to strike out the next guy and then get the third out of the inning with Eric catching the hit.

And just like the rain, the play stays steady. It’s not spectacular baseball by any means, mostly just a sludge match as everyone tries to keep their hands dry and the water out of their eyes, and the score slowly improves. Lance hits a good ball to get two RBIs, making it 3-2, and they manage not to allow any runs in the top of the fourth inning.

Good.

They’re creating chances. That’s what matters. They’re creating chances, and Emma can continue to eat her soggy popcorn while she freaks the hell out about what’s happening and continues to try to act like she’s a professional and not overly invested in the outcome of this game like she’s got money on it.

It’s the bottom of the fourth inning now, a chant of August’s name moving across the stadium so that it shakes in anticipation, and the bases are loaded. There are also two outs. Emma’s not saying that this could be the thing that changes the momentum of the game, but if the way that she’s gripping onto Jeff’s arm is any indication, she knows that this could change the momentum of the entire World Series.

“Come on, Booth,” Emma yells out as her free hand hits against her thigh, the wet denim clinging to her skin. “Be smart. Watch the ball.”

August obviously doesn’t know how to follow instructions because then it’s a swing and a miss.

Strike one.

There’s no chance for a strike two because while the rain has been sprinkling for the past hour, it’s pouring now. Jeff is mumbling about his camera and the cover not doing enough, but all Emma can focus on is all of the players running inside to the dugouts and fans shuffling inside while an announcement comes over the speakers that there’s an official rain delay.

An hour ago, she would have welcomed it. They didn’t have any of the momentum then. They do now.

This isn’t how things are supposed to be going.

Fuck.

-/-

“So how long is the rain delay going to be?”

“I don’t know.”

“But can you find out?”

“I can’t control the weather, Emma.”

“But you know things that we don’t, David,” Emma groans as she paces back and forth in a tunnel in the stadium, her hair frizzing around her face and her jeans completely soaked through. “It’s been an hour. Are they going to call the game? Are they going to continue it? This is agony.”

“You need to calm down.” Emma looks over to David with raised brows, and he holds his hands up in the air. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to say that to you, but you’re going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep worrying like this.”

Everyone they know is going to give themselves a heart attack, apparently.

“I know, I know,” she sighs, reaching up to hold onto her necklace and quieting down as some people pass by the two of them, probably looking at her like she’s a crazy person. “I’m nervous. This is really hard. I just…I want to be allowed into the clubhouse so that I can see him. He’s going to be freaking out. I just know, and I – ”

David walks toward her and places his hands on her shoulders while he looks down at her with a soft, reassuring smile on his face. She’s sure that he would hug her right now if she wasn’t soaking wet.

“Killian is fine, sweetheart. You are fine. We’re in the fourth inning. There’s still five more to go, whether it’s finished today or tomorrow or a week from now. They have time to come back. You, however, need to be back in hair and makeup because you’re supposed to be doing a clip on SportsCenter in fifteen minutes to fill the dead air time.”

“Shit. Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“I couldn’t get a word in. You were kind of having a meltdown.”

Emma practically has to run down the hallways, which doesn’t help her appearance at all, and she’s sure that here makeup is streaky and her hair a wild mess that can’t be tamed, and the entire world can probably see her bra underneath her jersey right now. There’s not a hell of a lot that the makeup department can do, especially without a change of clothes besides a dry raincoat to replace the one that got soaked through, but they try their best before she’s standing in front of a plain backdrop inside the stadium talking back and forth about what’s going on in the game, breaking it down inning by inning in a way that she hasn’t had to do quite some time.

Considering she does it all with last minute notice and no notes in front of her, she thinks that she does a damn good job.

None of that really matters, though, because right as they’re wrapping up the segment, they get the announcement that play will resume in the next twenty minutes.

It’s time to play some more baseball.

Emma shouldn’t have eaten all of that popcorn because her stomach is most definitely churning with nerves.

They can do this. They have to. They will.

-/-

August immediately gets struck out, and the fourth inning ends with the Yankees still down 3-2.

The next two innings are scoreless for both teams, and Killian wraps up his game after that. He played well. It wasn’t his best, the weather and the nerves probably impacting him, but she’s proud of him.

She’ll be proud of him no matter what.

And she really wishes that the network wanted her to do a mid-game interview or let her go into the dugout just so that she could see him and tell him that in person, but they seem to be determined to only allow her to stay on the sidelines by herself.

Emma: I love you, I love you, I love you.

Emma: You’re my favorite player (and person) no matter what, and I can’t wait to see you when this game is over and you’re holding that trophy.

He texts back almost immediately, and he must have his phone out on the massage table.

Killian: Will you go out with me if we win? Or if we lose?

Laughter bubbles up inside of her, and it’s the first time all afternoon that she’s felt this light.

Emma: Only if you ask me out on live television like the asshole you were when you did that last year.

Killian: I think I can do that.

Her stomach flutters again, and even though this is kind of the biggest game that Emma has ever watched in her entire life, her eyes keep switching between her phone and the game. It’s pretty much the only way that she can stay calm and keep getting air into her lungs without one of them collapsing and her having to go to the hospital.

This game is going on forever. Literally. Each inning is longer than the last, and the sun is beginning to set over the horizon so that the remaining gray clouds disappear into the dark of night. Florescent lights fill the stadium, lighting up the crowd and the players, and Emma can’t stop shivering, especially with the remaining dampness of her clothes and the chill that’s whirling around. It’s got to be forty degrees out here at the most, and if it weren’t for Mary Margaret brining down her coat for Emma to use, she’d turn into an icicle by the end of the game.

Probably before the end of the game.

Today is obviously going very well.

It’s not just Emma, though. The crowd is starting to get a little delusional now too. The game has been going on for over six hours now, the last three completely scoreless, and everyone is getting restless and antsy and probably very, very drunk.

Some rum or whiskey or several shots of tequila is sounding really good right now.

She can’t have any of it.

And she’s moved on from popcorn to copious amounts of hot chocolate to keep her warm.

It’s now the bottom of the ninth in what could possibly be the last inning of the game and the end of the season, and they’re still down by one run. It’s almost exactly what happened last night, and Emma’s dentist is going to hate her for how much she’s grinding her teeth.

Just one run to tie it up. One more to win the whole damn thing.

Easy, right? Right.

“Fuck,” Emma mutters underneath her breath, unable to keep the thoughts inside. This cannot end up like last night. They’re so damn close. They can do this.

Eric settles into his position in the batter’s box, his hands moving up and down his bat until they’re in the right spots, and Emma would probably give up her entire salary to know just what Ariel is doing right now up in the suite. She’s got to be losing her mind.

Emma is kind of losing hers.

One. Two. Three.

The ball flies off of Eric’s bat, straight down past third base so that it practically paints the line, and Eric is off like a cheetah, quickly passing over first base and turning so quickly that he nearly falls on his way to second base. Emma stands, unable to stay sitting down, and she can’t even hear herself yell over the roar of the crowd as Eric slides against the dirt to mark up his uniform and have his fingers touch second base right before the ball gets to him.

Safe.

Holy shit. They have a man on base.

And August is up next. God, she hopes that he doesn’t choke again. There’s been a hell of a lot of pressure on his shoulders in the past two days, and he’s crumbled underneath it after having some really big opportunities to close things out. As good as these guys are at playing in the moment, the past does have the ability to creep up around them and wrap around their neck to pull them back to the past so that they can’t move on.

August has to move on.

One. Two. Three.

Strike.

Shit.

One. Two. Three.

Ball.

Okay.

One. Two. Three.

Strike.

Fuck.

Emma cannot do this. She absolutely can’t. It’s too much. It’s all too much, and she has to bend down to put her head between her legs. She knows that her phone is going off, that she’s got texts and calls and emails, but she can’t look at any of them. If it’s something for work, Ruby will speak into her earpiece or Jeff will say something.

This is the worst. Who likes sports? This is just the worst.

One. Two. Three.

The ball thwacks against August’s bat, and it flies toward left field. Emma is positive that it’s going to go over, absolutely positive that it’s going to be a home run and that they’re about to win this game. But then it hits against the wall, and suddenly it’s back in play. It’s not a home run, not quite, but it’s enough to have Eric round third and run toward home, his body barreling as quickly as possible before he’s sliding through the dirt once more so that it flies up around him.

Safe.

3-3.

Holy fucking shit.

Emma can’t hear. She can’t. The crowd is that deafening, and while Emma isn’t jumping up and down, her knuckles are going white as they grip onto the sides of her seat. All she can focus on is the way that Eric runs straight into Killian just outside the dugout, the two of them jumping up and down and hitting each other’s backs and asses as every other member of the team surrounds them in a celebration that sends chills down her spine.

Her cheeks are warm for the first time all night, and Emma has to force down the emotion in her throat.

It’s not over.

But that’s a good thing. They have the chance to do this, to win this now, and Emma’s heart is pumping blood faster than it ever has in the entirety of her life. It may very well beat out of her chest.

She doesn’t even care.

The high comes down five minutes later when King is easily struck out, putting their first out of the inning on the board, and even Emma isn’t petty enough to want Arthur King to do poorly when him doing well is good for the team. She’s petty. Just not petty enough.

Will Scarlet, though, deserves the entire world, and all of the organs in Emma’s stomach shift again when he steps into the box and adjusts his helmet. Sprinkles of rain are falling down from the clouds and spitting against Emma’s skin, but it’s not enough to stop the game. Not yet. The momentum is with them again, the game and the championship on their bats, and Emma has never known Will to be scared of a little rain.

One. Two. Three.

A swing and a miss.

Strike One.

One. Two. Three.

No movement. Deep breath inhaled.

Ball.

One. Two. Three.

No movement.

Strike Two.

“Damn,” Emma mumbles under her breath as she tightens the jacket a little further over her arms, her legs shaking and tapping enough to power the electricity in all of the Bronx. She’s going to break the chain around her neck for how tightly she’s tugging on it. It’s fine. It’s all fine.

It’s got to be all fine.

The water is spitting a little harder now, Emma’s vision getting a little bit blurred, and it’s taking everything in her not to stand up right now so that she blocks the people behind her. Ruby is chattering in her ear cursing or hoping or something, her phone is still going off, and Jeff has to be complaining about how much Emma is crushing his forearm.

She doesn’t care.

Because Will is standing in position again, and he’s ready.

One. Two. Three.

There’s a sharp blow when the ball makes contact with the bat, and while the rain and the stadium lights make it hard to see, Emma already knows that the ball is going over the back wall and into the crowd.

Gone. It’s gone.

It’s freaking gone.

Will Scarlet is an absolute legend.

The Yankees just won the World Series.

Killian just won the World Series.

Everything is so loud around her, cheers reverberating and shaking the stands so that Emma can literally feel sounds, but she has trouble focusing on any of that over the sound of her heart pounding in between her ears and Ruby yelling in her earpiece that Emma has to get down to the field.

The field.

She has to get down to the field, and somehow, she does. Jeff must have carried her there or pushed her or something. It’s a madhouse, one Emma can’t navigate, and she knows that she’s supposed to be doing some kind of interview, preferably with Will, but there’s no way for her to find anyone. It’s a mass of players all huddled together and jumping up and down as coaches and wives and children all join in, the rain coming down even harder than earlier.

All Emma really wants is to find Killian and kiss him like she’s never kissed him before.

That’s saying something.

Emma sees him standing ten feet away from her on the outskirts of a pile of men embracing each other in happiness, his hair a mess like he’s been running his hands through it for the past two hours and his smile so large that it reaches his ears. He looks beautiful, ethereal almost, and Emma can scarcely breathe looking at him after pushing through so many people to find him.

That’s when he sees her through the people and the rain and the unending joy.

Killian pulls his arm up to tap his closed fist over his heart, and Emma’s heart stutters at the movement before a slow grin stretches across her lips while she reaches up to tap her fist over the ring and her heart.

She was cheering him on the entire time.

One. Two. Three.

Emma takes off toward him, ignoring Ruby in her ear and Jeff behind her with the camera, and in six strides, she’s pressing up onto her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck, holding onto him so tightly that her feet come off the ground and Killian’s hands scramble for her ass, barely holding onto her as he lifts her in the air and swings her back and forth as they both get covered in the continual downpour of rain.

She can hardly see, the water far too much, and when she cups Killian’s cheeks and slams her mouth into his, he tastes like water and spearmint gum and quite possibly all of the happiness in the world bottled up into one human being.

Kissing him and being here with him is everything she ever wanted and everything she never allowed herself to dream.

“Fancy seeing you here, Swan,” Killian laughs, his mouth still pressing against hers.

“What are you talking about, Jones? I was right here last year.”

“Yeah,” he smiles, the grin the most infectious thing she has ever seen, “but I think I like this year a hell of a lot better.”

“Can’t wait to see how you try to top this next year.”

Killian throws his head back in in laughter, his skin covered in rain, and he finally puts her down on the ground so that her feet sink into the soft grass below her, arms still wrapped around Killian’s neck so that she’s close enough to see the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his lips.

“You know what, my love? I think I’m good staying right here in this moment for now. We can figure out the rest later.”

-/-

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fanfic #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

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