#they miss... feeling connected | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 2 years

Text

i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.

ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.

iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.

iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.

v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.

vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.

vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.

viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.

ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.

x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.

/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?

#witches and wizards #kids need to be able to play games without knowing the extended universe #playing was easy #i knew i wasn't gonna be able to explain chronicles of christomancy #but we could pick up a stick and run around #nd say we were magic that would be enough backstory #and i think the last time i felt that sense of community #was the summer of pokemon go #it's about cross-generational connectivity bro #yes there are insular communtities but EVERYONE had fucking read harry potter #which is me saying - i think maybe people don't miss HER or the ACTUAL BOOK tbh #they miss... feeling connected #think about how so many people felt so weirdly ashamed and lost after Game of Thrones ended -#they did SUCH a bad job that the entire community just... vanished.#where beforehand people would have GoT weddings #we are just animals who love stories and love feeling like we speak the same language #btw i am not on twitter so i hadn't seen some of the shit she was doing #and then when i was 19 she published the ''american school'' hogwarts stuff #and was reading it casually bc again a huge nerd #and in it shes like ''the british taught the natives their more civilized magics''#and that was like..................... oh okay. okay. so.....

6K notes · View notes

atorionsbelt · 11 months

Text

why is every phil dunster interview i read always exactly like this

6K notes · View notes

simplepotatofarmer · 10 months

Text

on technoblade & grief

death, virtual grief, and your digital footprint // sherri turner - twitter // karis upton - grief painting 1 // shannon barry - tumblr tag // petfurniture - twitter // ursula k. le guin // dream - until i end up dead // youtube search function // van gogh - a field of yellow flowers // tristam & braken - frame of mind // the killers - enterlude exitlude // the haunting of hill house // @vpofcookies - techno art

"Grief that flows, that is felt in its fullness, is grief that will serve its purpose, and depart in its own time, helping us to know what we love, helping us to know we are human." - mr. technodad

#technoblade #technofanart #please give love to my bestie who gave their art for this #i'm so thankful and i miss techno so much #but i feel connected to all of you in this grief #it's been a year and i will never stop missing him #web weaving #mcytblr

1K notes · View notes

dumblr · 1 year

Text

I've been wondering, did you miss me?

#quotes #feelings #emotions #love #lyrics #romantic quotes #love quotes #thoughtful #miss me #deep love #soul connection #just wondering #hopless romantic #unsaid thoughts #dumblr

1K notes · View notes

lotus-pear · 3 months

Text

bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.

#i hate when ppl make him out to be a sadistic villain with no remorse. like did we read the same manga 💀#but at the same time he is NOT crying abt all the ppl he sent to the grave. he sleeps just fine at night knowing he committed atrocities #yes he feels remorse? but he isn't like kunikida to weep at someone's grave for failing to save them #and then we have his emotions themselves #dazai isn't emotionless. far from it. he has difficulty expressing affection but yk he finds someone endearing when he trusts them #trust is very important to dazai and is one of the aspects of human emotion that he can fully grasp #but like everything else is in a hazy gray area that he does not feel like exploring. he feels alienated from his humanity bc of this #AUUUGHH can someone help me with character analysis PLEASE #I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS MF UNTIL RECENTLY SO I MISSED OUT ON A LOT OF IMPORTANT DETAILS #see i would go and reread a few light novels but like i don't have time for that #and this is for dazai specifically. i am very well versed on his relationships w other charcaters #but just like asigiri himself said: it's very difficult to write dazai and write him WELL #so yeaaa i have a lot of smart ppl following me pls help #bsd #ALSO MY FRIEND STILL HAS NO LONGER HUMAN UUUUGHHHHHH I NEED THAT BACK BC I TABBED IT A SHIT TON #FOR LIKE CONNECTIONS TO YOZO AND BSD DAZAI AND WHERE ASIGIRI DREW INSPIRATION FROM YOZOS CHARACTER FOR DAZAI #THAT WOULD BE SUCH A VALUABLE FUCKING RESOURCE BC I DID SOME ANNOTATIONS IN THEM TOO BUT MY BOOK IS ANOTHER FUCKING STATE #I HATE IT HERE FML

290 notes · View notes

bear-bear-bear-bear-bear · 5 months

Text

jaheira please im trying to have a serious conversation

#my girl back there getting wasted #🤣#i FINALLY got to see the epilogue!!!!#but my comp is busted so i had to downgrade to my old pc which means poorer quality screenshots 😭#granted it is on my durge playthrough and she didn’t romance halsin but its still so sweet ❤️#it really felt like a missed connection type of reunion with halsin #like my durge is very happy with astarion but seeing halsin again definitely brought some unresolved feelings to the surface #she may have spent the party flirting and hugging halsin more than anyone else #i wish i had more characters at end game - i desperately need to see a romanced halsin ending with my druid #hopefully i can play more this weekend 🤞#halsin #halsin bg3 #bg3 #bg3 epilogue #jaheira #jaheira bg3

280 notes · View notes

paige-spage · 16 days

Text

I will not have you without the darkness that hides within you. I will not let you have me without the madness that makes me. If our demons cannot dance, neither can we.

Nikita Gill

107 notes · View notes

stormsandskies · 3 months

Text

Every once and a while I think about Jay and Ava and wonder what they were like when then were younger

were they super close? did they go on little adventures together? did ava braid jays hair? did they play dress up? did they give each other bad makeovers? was there fashion shows for their parents?

what was their girlhood like? was it happy? or was there an underlying note of sadness under all of it because someone was missing?

did their father taint the happy family memories?

or was he actively present and involved until their teens?

Did he come home from work and tuck them in?

Did he play dolls with them?

#jrwi riptide #jrwi #just roll with it #jay ferin #jrwi jay #jrwi ava #i just want to know #i feel like it was a good childhood #i know she definitely had a happier one then the boys #idk there’s this connection with girlhood that’s so important to me #and to characters too #like did she have a phase where she hated pink and feminine clothing?#does she now love pink and twirly skirts?#anyways i love jay ferin #come back pookie #i miss you

117 notes · View notes

mokulule · 1 year

Text

The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached 5

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4

So I've been having a week and I decided I needed a pick-me-up in the form of unleashing some angst on you all, so sorry to those who wanted me not to skip ahead a bit, you'll get the full story on AO3.

Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason) Warnings: angst/depression and canon typical violence

For a bit of context since I'm skipping a small part, this is the second day after the first chapter, Jason is still feeling good and having another good pit-less day.

Danny breathed a sigh of relief as he exited the W-Mart unmolested. His backpack was heavy with its load of stolen protein bars and trail mix. He’d so far not had to return to the same store twice, but this one was in the roughest neighborhood he’d visited so far and he’d felt sure even if nobody saw him steal anything that he’d be stopped. There had definitely been some suspicious looks directed towards him from the staff.

Now he just had to find a nice hidden nook to disappear from so he didn’t alert anyone. Couldn’t have people start talking about someone disappearing into thin air. Pulling his hood up he started walking along the sidewalk in a random direction eyes lowered so he hopefully wouldn’t piss anyone off by making eye contact. This did not seem like a part of the city he wanted to make eye contact with anyone in. With his rotten luck any thugs would find his face just as offensive as Dash always seemed to do.

His breath caught cold in his throat and he froze mid step. His head snapped up instantly locking on the other ghost, no the not-ghost, the man, the one with red helmet, except he wasn’t wearing a helmet now. He stood there, still like Danny in the sea of moving people, black hair except for a white streak at the front, strong jawline, his eyes were blue - wide in recognition. Shit! He had to leave!

Friend, his core sang insistently. He completed the step forward. That red T-shirt under the open leather jacket looked so soft. No stiff body armor today, just soft cotton, he could just curl up there-

Danny gasped, eyes blown wide. He shook his head, he needed, he needed to get away. Now. Now body! He wasn’t moving. He wanted, he wanted so badly to move forward, his core promised him friend and safety and connection. He just had to go to the other ghost. He was so tired of being alone, he couldn’t last like this. But he was wrong. His core was wrong. That wasn’t a ghost. That was a man, a man of flesh and bone and warmth and touch and- STOP!

His fingers gripped into his hair painfully. Good, grounding. Breathe in, two, three, out… slow and steady, he could do that.

A hand entered his field of vision.

“Hey…” the voice was soft, softer than the voice that had come out of the helmet, but Danny knew, knew in his core, this was the man, the ghost, not-ghost- the hand came closer.

He bolted.

“Hey!”

Danny didn’t look back, he just ran. He weaved between protesting people. His broken ribs hurt with every deep breath, with every jolt of his shoes hitting the pavement; a reminder that this was not a friend, just another one of the vigilantes.

Something grabbed his backpack and he came to a dead stop, hanging from the worn straps for one heart stopping second as he was pulled backwards off balance.

“Will you stop for a moment!” The voice growled.

Danny met the other’s angry eyes and for just a fraction of a second, he could have sworn they were green not blue, then his instincts kicked in and he turned intangible, sinking through his backpack straps and into the ground.

Danny shivered, holding on to himself, staying just under the pavement. Boots pounded restlessly above him as the other man paced. He could not hear the curses he was spilling, but the tone of voice came through even muffled.

This was for the best. He dared not contemplate what would happen to him should he actually get captured.

Even so he couldn’t help the mournful call of his core. A call that wouldn’t be answered.

Because that man was not a ghost.

Oo o oO

Jason paced angrily, cursing up a storm. He’d had him right there. And still he’d slipped away. Frustration crawled under his skin like bugs. He snarled and looked at the worn purple backpack in his arms. It was old, and bore the evidence of multiple more or less successful repair jobs. Parts of the fabric were singe, and there were dark stains in places that could have been from any number sources, Jason suspected blood was one of them.

The thought set off another round of pacing and cursing. It didn’t help any that he felt sure the Ghost was still close. As if he could just reach out and grab him and stop that bone chilling sadness he felt. He had been so close.

A growl of frustration rose in his chest. He stopped and took a deep breath. Anger wasn’t helping him. He had to think. There could be some identifying information in the backpack. Juggling it up into his arms he unzipped it so he could look inside.

He froze.

He had noticed it was full, but this was not what he expected to find.

Jason slammed the backpack down on the console in front of Bruce - he wasn’t sure how he got to the cave, it didn’t matter. Bruce, dressed like he’d just been sneaking some work in before having to go golfing or something similarly inane, looked from the veritable mountain of protein bars spilling out of the worn bag to Jason looming above him. He leaned back in the chair and raised an eyebrow in question, unfazed always so unfazed.

“He’s not a villain, Bruce, he needs help,” he growled, his helmet darkened his voice, but also masked the way it shook. The Ghost haunted him; hollow eyed, shaking and panicked, with clothes that hung loose on his thin frame and this, now this. Jason paced. If this was all he ate…

Bruce leaned over examining the backpack, he was frowning. Jason hated when he frowned like that: disapproval. Always disapproving, never good enough. His fists clenched.

“This belongs to the thief?”

Of course it belonged to the thief! Was he being willfully stupid? Some Worlds Greatest Detective.

“He needs help,” Jason insisted.

Bruce carefully turned the chair to face him, calculating, judging. Jason forced himself to stand still.

“It’s very possible,” Batman finally spoke, “but we can’t dismiss the idea that he’s working for someone.”

Dismissal. It felt like a slap. Why was he always like that? Why couldn’t he trust him for once? No Batman always knew best, always had to be right. Always so goddamn rightful.

“Jay-“ the voice was soft, worried.

Jason blinked, and suddenly noticed the green reflected on the inside of his helmet. In another blink it was gone, and he saw his hands gripped in Bruce’s soft creme sweater where he’d pulled him to his feet, to do what? He didn’t know. He’d just… He’d just been so angry.

“Jaylad, are you okay?” Bruce’s hands were raised in surrender, not touching, not defending.

Jason looked from Bruce’s worried face, to his hands still holding on. He gasped and let go, took a step back. No- the pits, he hadn’t even noticed they’d creeped back in. He’d lost time. He didn’t know how he’d gotten here. Had he done more than pull at Bruce? He desperately searched Bruce’s concerned face for more signs of violence.

He’s not actually worried, he’s manipulating you, the voices whispered at him. He slammed them down, but it was hard. He felt drained. He couldn’t be there, he couldn’t trust himself. He stumbled backwards, avoiding Bruce’s hands. Turning he saw his bike; at least that was one question answered, he thought hysterically.

Bruce didn’t stop him when he fled. Why would he? Disappointment, always a disappointment.

#dead on main #dp x dc #Jason is catnip to Danny #missed connections #Danny and Jason both have a habit of running away from their problems #Let Jason hug you Danny #You will feel better #he will feel better #everyone will be happy #angst #sorry not sorry

668 notes · View notes

queenbeekb13 · 1 month

Text

Rewatching jatp for the [redacted] time and thinking about how Rose was the last person to talk to the boys before they died which led me to think about the fact that she must have bedazzled the Sunset Curve shirt afterwards.

She would’ve been there when the show got canceled since they didn’t come back and then found out what happened. But she bedazzled in anyways. Not only did she keep that shirt for 25 years but she personalized it, poured love into it. Rose saw the boys perform at a rehearsal once and talked to them once and still saw something worth not only remembering and preserving in a representation of their music but something worth making her own in order to showcase that brief but vital connection they all had.

I’m still so unwell about this show

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #reggie molina #juke #jukebox #rose molina #i miss them #thinking about this made me want to keel over #music and love and memory and they’re all braided together and connecting these characters to each other forever #across time and space and loss and gain and grief #rose loved their music enough to memorialize them #and that gave Julie the chance to bring them back #so that they could all love each other enough to bring each other back to life #they make me feel insane

136 notes · View notes

bonefall · 3 months

Note

is there any death in the rewrite that you consider to be really graphic? where do you draw the line in the violence of a character's death?

Hmmm... Probably Tigerstar honestly! The cats wrote a song about his organs falling out.

I think when it comes to the "line" of a character's death, it's very subjective. Me and every other kid who read WC pogged out when Tigerstar had a really drawn out, horrific death on-screen, but I'm still haunted by Sootfur with his broken leg, falling down towards a badger while Squilf couldn't save him and seeing the aftermath of his "sightless eyes" when the animal moved off him.

One of those was objectively less graphic, but imo a LOT more harrowing. I think emotions are a lot more important in how deaths are received by an audience than the actual blood and guts, which I think gives you a decent idea of what you're gonna get here.

I think Leopardstar's rock concert is the "ceiling" of how intensely I describe deaths. I think that one's pretty graphic, but it's for a reason. The point is that it's a brutal killing that haunts Mistystar, you get me? And I try to write "around" the gore, describing sounds, the rest of the body, etc.

There is also cosmic/body horror with the Ancestor Rats, and more importantly, BB!Cats do food processing. They skin dead animals and separate the organs and such. When I get around to doing an entry on animal fat, I would also like to show WHERE in the body the fat is stored on certain animals. It's a lot more important to nutrition than you think it is.

BUT whenever I feel like I'm "around" Leopardstar's Boulder Appointment or an Ancestor Rat, I always always tag that. Less "violent" things like the song about the organs (Tiger's In A Heap) and more gentle food processing (like an offhanded mention of removing entrails or skinning) isn't tagged.

If I ever end up including a "diagram" of where fat is stored in the body or "how to properly skin a small rodent" It will be tagged as gore and I'd try to stay tasteful to begin with, I would ABSOLUTELY never drop something like that on anyone untagged and unwarned.

#I have what I consider a high benchmark for gore (medical + mortuary science education + did some butchery for hunters)#So when it starts to feel iffy to ME that is my threshold for tagging things as gore #But I am very bad at understanding when people are sensitive towards like... carnivores eating meat or carcass processing #Because legit in my head that's just Making Food #I go to the store and it is not hard to connect the cuts to where it was on the animal #AND I was raised to heavily value ''appreciating'' meat because an animal died to feed me #cw talk #bone babble #ugh now im thinking about deer stew #mmmmmmm #I miss the taste of game

82 notes · View notes

infinite-orangepeel · 10 months

Text

steddie friends i miss u all so much please surround me in a warm group hug. twitter won’t let me tweet & im gonna scream !!!!!

#i miss my little community #why does this app feel so much harder to connect on #come here best friends #steddie #steddie brainrot #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steve harrington/eddie munson #eddie x steve

236 notes · View notes

genderkoolaid · 1 year

Text

i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term

in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.

i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.

#I've been chewing on this general topic for a while #bc I'm realizing that I don't like identifying as nonbinary specifically bc of how ppl often use that #to just mean ''gender neutral'' & often exclude androgyne multigenders by assuming nb can't be men/women #even trans theory so often just groups nonbinary people in with whoever feels the most relevant and is uninterested in exploring exorsexism #outsidr of it's connection to other issues #there's an assumption that nonbinary experiences can be more or less grouped in w binary ones without missing out on much #it's just frustrating. same w when people assume that all transitions end w people looking cis-passing #and ignore the difficulties that can come from things like non traditional bottom surgery!#there's next to no resources for salmacians and virtually none for agenital prople #which y'know. might be important for things like urinary/genital care #or sex work or anything #hell so many people have argued that exorsexism doesn't exist because all nonbinary oppression is ''just transphobia''#so many ppl are completely uninterested in looking at nonbinary people separate from binary ppl & binary experiences #m.

335 notes · View notes

fogmachine03 · 3 months

Text

dude, al is 100% working for lilith, i’m gonna mind vomit for a second here

remember when val said “you’re still pissed he almost beat you that time” i’m thinking he made some sort of deal with lilith in to win that fight?? and then in exchange she now has his soul and he’s just been doing her bidding for the last 7 years, AND then she saw charlie’s hotel and wanted to keep an eye on her so he sent al, and also that’s why he was so pissy at lucifer (cause like al is always intentionally pissing people off but he was ESPECIALLY upset by lucifers presence for whatever reason, like from the moment he walked in the door) so maybe lilith told him something about why they split up or something and that’s why al wanted lucifer out so bad, cause lilith didn’t seem to want him spending time with charlie during the flashback scene which was strange

i cannot believe there’s only two episodes left in the season this is too much for me to handle.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #i feel like i’m just connecting dots in ways that should not be connected but like you get what i mean you know??#there’s definitely missing pieces but there’s something here… i swear…

50 notes · View notes

gooperts-gunk · 7 months

Text

watching bagi's vod instead of live to keep up um. um. at 5:08:10 q!bbh says "i guess you should put i DID like beach vacations, and then there was that one time... i went to naples and that didn't end well..."

UM. UM. CASUAL GOOGLE SEARCH OF "disasters that started in naples italy" AND I FIND.

Q!BAD????? Q!BADBOYHALO?????? just a normal day in 1343 AD for him. nothing we didn't know he could do. just an instance we didn't know of. his disaster count only grows, im excited for his next one. sitting politely, twiddling my thumbs all shy

#goopert talks qsmp #liveblogging #im seeing vesuvius being thrown around and that IS a good one #but i feel like it's too obvious compared to his other references #vesuvius would be so cool it really would i was such a volcano kid i think volcanoes are so cool #BUT.... IF HE DOESN'T SAY POMPEII SPECIFICALLY..... my brain refuses connecting it #edit: WAIT CHATTERS THE REPORTS ARE SAYING SOMETHING I MISSED #APPARENTLY HE ALSO SAID.... that he wasn't sure if naples was called that before he got there #meaning.... ok.... it might be the obvious pompeii Skull Emoji #actually biggest flex to my volcano enjoying brain if he did that SORRY ABOUT THE DISASTER... but that's cool of him

86 notes · View notes

xxeycisxx · 9 days

Text

i still think of you when i cum. and then i cry.

28 notes · View notes