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weird-an · 7 months

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Billy stretches himself out on Steve's bed, hair tousled and lashes fluttering.

"I'm still horny," he groans.

Steve laughs. They are both still sweaty, catching their breaths.

"You wanna go again?"

Billy gives him a smirk, but shakes his head. "I'm horny with my… " He trails off and taps his chest.

Steve wants to scream at him and kiss him at the same time. He knows Billy has trouble voicing his emotions, but this? This is a new low and a high at once.

"Do you have feelings for me?" he asks carefully.

"Don't be an idiot," Billy laughs nervously.

"Dude, you're the idiot!" Steve sits up in the bed. He puts his finger on Billy's chest. "Horny with your heart? Just say it!"

"My dick has feelings for yours," Billy rolls his eyes. "That's why I'm only-"

God. Steve is apparently dating. Steve is dating an idiot. He has never been so happy and annoyed.

"Great," he snaps. "My dick's got feelings for you, too."

Billy stays silent for a while. "Really?"

Steve groans. "Really."

"Cool."

Billy's grin shines brighter than the sun. That's enough for now, Steve decides.

#they are idiots your honour #writing this to compensate for the angst in my wips #harringrove #billy x steve #billy hargrove #harringrove ficlet #steve x billy

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neontoad · 7 months

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Dazai always complains about Chuuya’s hair clogging the drain in the shower, and one day Chuuya says: “You’re right, it’s way too inconvenient. I’ll get a haircut tomorrow.”

Mysteriously, the next day the hair salon has to close because of a bomb threat.

Chuuya just shrugs his shoulders - he can cut his hair himself. Won’t be the first time. He used to be quite good at it.

The moment he stands in front of the bathroom mirror and takes the scissors ready to snip the annoying strand of hair off, Dazai storms in.

“Give me the scissors, I need to open the milk carton!” he shrieks, yanking them out of Chuuya’s hand.

Chuuya raises an eyebrow. “You don’t drink milk.”

“I do.”

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

Dazai is beet red and Chuuya can’t help but crack up at his anxious look.

“You know,” he chuckles, “you could have just told me you don’t want me to cut my hair.”

“What? I couldn’t care less!” Dazai says indignantly.

“I think you like my hair.”

“I don’t.”

“Really?” Chuuya steps closer and wraps his arms around Dazai’s waist. “I think you’re lying.”

“Well, Chuuya,” Dazai says, automatically placing his hands on Chuuya’s hips and slowly traveling up. “You’ll look even more ridiculous if you cut your hair. I can’t have that.”

“Oh, I see. Then stop bitching about my hair in the drain,” Chuuya whispers against Dazai’s lips and gives him a light peck.

“Ugh. Okay,” Dazai says, absentmindedly twirling the long strand of Chuuya’s hair around his finger. It's liquid gold even under the dim bathroom lights and it feels like silk to the touch, but... Chuuya doesn't necessarily have to know it.

Chuuya knows that no matter what, Dazai will never stop bitching about anything Chuuya does. It’s his second nature, but really…

Chuuya wouldn’t trade it for the world.

#skk #bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #soukoku #established skk #fluff #they are idiots your honour

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thenwhatthefukcisthis · 2 months

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one fine day, eames learns the phrase “lean mean fighting machine” and refuses to call arthur by anything else for a good month.

obviously, he aims to woo arthur but fails by a mile cause OF COURSE the only word arthur zeroes on is “mean” and refuses to meet the forgers eyes in the said month.

safe to say no productive dream thievery was done for a total of thirty days

#Arthur : am I mean? :(#Ariadne : no baby who said this lemme fight #Arthur : .... eames :(#ariadne: huh what no baby he loves you #Arthur : what #ariadne : what #cobb : I think what eames meant by that is that you are a well fit very efficient dream criminal #Arthur : but a mean one? :(#cobb *squinting hard* : lemme go check my totem real quick cause did you just pout???#yusuf : can we test this somnacin can we PLEASE test this somnacin #saito : mean can hold varied meanings mr arthur I think mr eames merely meant to say that he’s impressed by you #Arthur : but he doesn’t like it when I say I’m impressed :( does that mean he doesn’t like me anymore #saito : ..... are all westerners like this my goodness #yusuf : lol yes #inception #arthur x eames #dreamhusbands #they are idiots your honour

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meviesdust · 4 months

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descendants but make it mal being painfully in love with evie and believing she could never love her back

you can find evies version here

song is she likes a boy by nxdia

#gonna make a second version but the opposite #they are idiots your honour #in love #evie battling the demons (comphet)#mevie #mal bertha #evie grimhilde #my edit #edit

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cure-typhoon · 9 months

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Actually I don't understand why people make Rosemary the "elegant and proper" couple because on their first date Rose got so drunk she forgot what time it was and left Kanaya waiting, meanwhile Kanaya didnt even realize it was a date and came in basically her pajamas. Then at the end of the date Rose fell down the stairs after kissing Kanaya

#homestuck #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #hs rosemary #rosemary #theyre idiots your honour

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lunarlivs · 4 months

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”what the fuck, potter?”

#draco’s on the last half an hour of his 12h shift #and he did NOT sign up for his childhood crush/idiot/enemy turned crush/idiot/quidditch star turning up #your honour #i haven’t been able to stop thinking about them for longer than five minutes #for weeks on end #<3333333 #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fanart #harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter fanart #harry james potter fanart #drarry #drarry fanart #my art

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tervaneula · 4 months

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"I love you," Yuichi breathes out, and Leonardo's heart hammers a new kind of rhythm in his chest. He can't help but kiss him. Yuichi smiles against his lips and they stay there, on the bank of an underground river, soaked to the bone but happy, kissing and giggling like a pair of teenagers, uncaring of the yokai who pass them by on their way across the bridge towards the city. Leonardo sits up and wraps his arms around the rabbit and when their lips next separate, he murmurs his reciprocation against Yuichi's mouth. It's received with a delighted laugh and another kiss, and another, and another, and Leonardo thinks that this might be more happiness than his two hands are able to hold – but by the Pizza Supreme in the Sky, he is going to try.

...terv can have a little self-indulgence. as a treat.

#''a little''. this is A Lot lmao #anyway these men gay #guess who fell into the river and guess who dove in after him. they're idiots your honour #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction #leoichi #samurai rabbit #usagi chronicles #yuichi usagi #usagi yuichi #peepaw leo #future leonardo #future leo #nqk #nqk adjacent #tervdraws #tervdrabbles

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rhinocio · 1 year

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no speaka da language

#rottmnt #tmnt #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #donatello #michelangelo #leonardo #leosagi #raphael #usagi yojimbo #usagi yuichi #Rhinociart #Colouring is exhausting this took me like ten hours #Anyway they’re idiots your honour

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peterofthedrakes · 6 months

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i forgot i drew this but it NEEDS to be shared

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teasholdingmetogether · 6 months

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For me it’s mobius’ look of shock and eventually devastation after he realises what Loki is about to do. Like he can’t quite fathom his love is walking away forever, even if it’s for the greater good. AND from mobius’ perspective he didn’t even get a goodbye 😭

And his little fists too, boo is barely coping with what’s happening in front of him

#Like look at his face #they are in love your honour #lokius #loki #mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #i love these idiots #Not even a forehead kiss marvel?

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ink-blot-thoughts · 1 year

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"Cucumber-bro and Airplane-bro would make a good couple-"

False. They're both morons. They would never acknowledge they are together. They would make a good "We got married drunk as a joke and take long romantic walks together and kiss each other on the mouth but no homo just as bros haha" pair and that's it.

Someone asks if they're married and one says "Yes" while the other says "Oh we're just bros", and they both look at each other and then switch answers.

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #airplane bro #shang qinghua #cumplane #i fucking hate you all for that ship name #theyre idiots your honour #cucumber bro mocks airplane bro for never getting dates while sitting on his lap #btw if anyone is wondering who i ship shen qingqiu with the answer is yes #he deserves them all

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queerofthedagger · 7 months

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that's it that's their dynamic

#bbcm #arthur x gwaine x merlin #i love them your honour #idiots <3

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thenwhatthefukcisthis · 3 months

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eames, secretly in love but thinking arthur considers him only as a casual fling and the word means just that, : arthur and I are in a situationship :D

arthur, also secretly in love and thinking the word means a drawn out battle of psychological warfare between two people where one person is devoted and the other person strings them along just enough to keep them there while refusing any form of commitment, : oh D:

#this happened #may be the other way around too #now that I think #more likely to be other way around #however this most definitely happened #and cue heartbreak and misunderstandings and ultimate make up #they are idiots your honour #inception #arthur x eames #dreamhusbands

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spitinsideme · 2 months

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Can we see demon!pomni and demon!ragatha playing?

of course !!!! tbey play by quite literally jist fightig each other, usually demon ragatha will chase demon pomni and demon pomni enjoys running away (ots like a strength vs speed thing) and nun pomni and nun ragatha are like cheering on for their demon to beat the others ass (and being pissy with each other)

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feralbutfluffy · 6 months

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Give a Man a Mask

The man who caught Aziraphale’s eye was lounging rather indecorously on one of the many benches lining the walls of the ballroom. He (because despite every inch of them being covered, Aziraphale was sure it was a he) wore a well-tailored black velvet suit jacket that fit snuggly over a black waistcoat intricately embroidered with gunmetal filigree. Underneath the waistcoat, Aziraphale could just make out a black shirt and a flash of burgundy lace at the man’s throat. Black leather gloves laced up around his wrists, and matching knee-high boots fit snuggly over the man's fitted black trousers.

Aziraphale sighed with envy. He could never pull off something like that.

Of course - he told himself - it wasn’t the man necessarily that had caught his eye. It was the clothing; he had always noticed and admired fine clothing, and his outfit really was exquisitely made.

Besides, it was hard not to notice someone who had dressed in such stark contrast to the rest of the guests. It seemed everyone else was dressed to excess, resplendent in feathers and lace, gemstones and pearls. This man’s costume, by contrast, was downright modern; minimal but striking, yet still in keeping with Carnivale. The handstitched leather Plague Doctor mask beneath a black tricorn hat completed the look. It should have looked offputting, really...

It did not.

The man looked less like a man, Aziraphale thought, and more like a long black shadow curving against the wall. Aziraphale popped a fritelle into his mouth and chewed it slowly before swallowing.

If he was honest with himself (which he would prefer not to be, all things considered) he knew what had really attracted his attention; there was something about him - the lazy confidence evident in the way he was sitting, or the dark clothing perhaps - that made him think of Crowley. He hadn’t seen the demon in a few years, and although he was absolutely loathe to admit it even within the privacy of his own mind, he did rather miss him.

Well. He missed him and worried about him in equal parts. Handing over the thermos of Holy Water a few years before had certainly ramped up his anxiety.

He was extremely glad of his full-face volto mask as he watched the figure out of the corner of his eye. He popped another fritelle into his mouth under the mask, chewed, and swallowed with a little groan of pleasure. They really were delicious.

The Plague Doctor swiveled to face him as if he had heard him, and although there was no possible way the stranger could have heard anything of the sort from across the crowded ballroom, Aziraphale blushed ferociously. The heat of it was almost unbearable behind his full-face mask.

He turned his body away from the man, staring down at the sweet delights laid out on the banquet table, and tried very hard to ignore what felt like a heated stare. He gazed down at the galani, his mouth suddenly dry.

Although he was almost expecting it, the dark presence at his elbow a moment later made him start.

“Buonasera, come sta?” said the Plague Doctor in perfect Italian, tipping his hat in a quick formal bow.

Aziraphale had been right about it being a man.

He jerked back at the greeting, startled by the man’s sudden proximity, and scrambled for a reply.

“Oh! Buonasera!” Aziraphale could think of nothing else to say. He cringed behind his mask and wondered if he could miracle his way out of a conversation that was embarrassing before it had even begun.

The Plague Doctor was wearing a zendale beneath his tricorn, and the silk hood concealed every part of his head not covered by mask or hat. He tilted his head, looking like a curious raven, and rested both his gloved hands on top of a cane Aziraphale hadn’t noticed before. His tight grip - Aziraphale could see his knuckles straining against the leather of his gloves - obscured most of what looked like a beautifully carved gunmetal handle.

He looked up. The large eyesockets of the mask were filled with dark glass lenses, revealing absolutely nothing. Aziraphale smoothed down his more traditional costume. The cream and white concoction with gold embroidery and an abundance of lace ruffles had rather delighted him when he’d stepped out this morning, but it felt quite indulgent next to this austere creature.

“I trust you are enjoying yourself?” said the Plague Doctor in an extremely thick Italian accent, leaning forward on his cane so that the beak of his mask almost punctured his bubble of personal space.

“Oh yes, very much so!” Aziraphale nodded, wondering what had drawn this man to his side and how he could possibly reverse it. For all that he had been intrigued before, he hadn’t intended to actually engage the stranger in conversation. There was something extremely unsettling about him up close. Perhaps it was the costume, or the way he was standing; it was patient, watchful, almost… predatory.

Aziraphale shuddered, and the Plague Doctor’s head tilted the other way, making it clear he had noticed.

“Va bene, Signore?” Are you well?

Aziraphale nodded quickly. “Oh yes… Sto bene!” I am well. There was a brief pause while he summoned up formal Italian and hurriedly added a thank you. “La ringrazio!”

The Plague Doctor nodded. “How did you come to be here?” The words came low and slow, and Aziraphale felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, his skin prickling with awareness.

He had always had a bit of a weakness for the Italian accent.

“It was suggested to me by the concierge at my hotel,” he smiled, even though the man couldn’t see it. “He thought I might enjoy it, and he was right! I am enjoying it tremendously! The food alone...!" He made an appreciative noise. "How did you…? Are you local to the area?”

A slight tilt of the head as if the Plague Doctor were considering his question. It was surprising how demonstrative he was able to be without a single facial expression.

“Not exactly,” he said, and Aziraphale thought he could hear a smile in his voice, “Although for tonight... Certo. If you like.”

The man swept into a much deeper, more theatrical bow than before. The black feather in his hat almost grazed Aziraphale’s chest. “This is my palazzo - my festa - and I am your host for the evening. You are…” he said, and straightened, holding out his hand. When Aziraphale hesitated, the man crooked his fingers impatiently and for some reason Aziraphale obeyed, quickly placing his white silk-gloved hand in the man’s leather-clad grip.

“... You are extremely welcome here,” the man finished, bringing Aziraphale's knuckles to his mask.

It didn’t seem to matter that there were no lips there to brush against his hand; Aziraphale felt it as if the man had kissed his knuckles open-mouthed. A dart of something hot and unutterable shot through him, flared up and burnt out, thankfully vanishing before Aziraphale had time to recognise it and panic.

“Yes. Well. Thank you. La ringrazio,” he said, feeling flustered.

“No need for such formality, Signore,” the Plague Doctor said warmly, tugging his hand without warning to bring them shoulder to shoulder. He tucked Aziraphale’s arm into the crook of his elbow and patted his hand as if to reassure him that it was alright.

Aziraphale thought that it was probably not alright.

Surely it was not alright to walk arm in arm with a total stranger? Surely there was something morally grey about taking a turn with a mortal Italian dandy who apparently owned a palazzo and, by extension, the many sweet treats Aziraphale had been helping himself to throughout the evening?

If nothing else, surely he should feel some guilt or shame about enjoying the closeness of a stranger who reminded him so much of Crowley?

#good omens fic #good omens fanfic #ineffable idiots #crowley and aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #mutual pining #they're morons your honour #happy halloween #good omens fanfiction #good omens oneshot #through the ages #aziracrow #not halloween but close enough #oiche samhain #because I'm struggling #Aziraphale in Venice #why not #ineffable #good omens

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nat-ter · 4 months

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ok. hear me out. batman and superman having petty rivalry. not bcus they actually hate each other but bcus there's a little misunderstanding going on between them.

the first time they met, superman wanted to impress the other hero (bcus yayy a new friend!) so he might have tried a bit too hard to look impressive to batman by putting on a more confident front than he generally feels.

batman has heard of the new hero in town (or the next one over wtv) and ofc there's this superhuman being who literally shoots laser out of his eyes not to mention the flying thing so in the most batman way possible, he's immediately cautious. and then comes this obnoxious alien to batman's own turf introducing himself as if he expects bruce to bow down to his feet and sing his praises just bcus he can, what, breathe ice? never! so begins the hostility. which took superman by surprise bcus here he comes, looking for partnership, maybe even friendship, but instead getting rude and obnoxious short replies in return.

first time superman is questioned his thoughts on the dark knight, he's honestly taken aback bcus since he hasn't had any contact with the other hero in the public's eye he didn't think ppl would ask him questions about gotham's bat. so, a bit flustered clark kent, in a very un-superman-like way, blurts out, "oh, that. i heard he's human." immediately after which he has to leave the scene bcus there was a tsunami somewhere. and so he unwittingly sets out the verbal war.

next time batman is questioned about his thoughts on superman, instead of leaving without any comment like he usually did, this time he stays and boy does he have something to say. or not, according to his words. but he did say smth and that highly contradicts his own words. "i have nothing to say about a twat in a primary colour who doesn't even know where undergarments go." and so officially begins the war.

clark hates batman bcus he thinks the man is a xenophobe (except he has seen batman interacting with other superbeings just fine and some of them may be meta but still it stings that he's the only one being treated with such hostility). bruce hates superman bcus he thinks the alien is looking down on him for being human with its shortcomings and hey this is a touchy subject for him okay back off. but neither of them actually never make any contact apart from trashing each other to the press whenever they can.

at first it was only pointed remarks that portrayed their distrust for each other like:

"at the end of the day what is batman but a furry with anger issues finding an outlet in the dark?"

"next time, maybe superman should use his ego to topple one of metropolis' finest buildings instead of himself. surely that will get the job done quicker."

but the longer it goes on, the more the two heroes enjoy themselves. and eventually the remarks grows more petty and childish and nothing like what two grown men who fight crimes should even say about each other.

"batman is probably hideous, maybe that's why he wears a mask that only shows the more attractive part of his face."

"who is to say there isn't ugly tentacle-like creatures hiding behind that pristine, god-like face."

unfortunately the longer the war wages, the more it sounds like the two of them are merely flirting in a backhanded way. which drives alfred and martha up the walls. alfred swears that he will leave the manor and maybe become a vegabond if he has to witness master bruce making a fool out of himself by pulling the proverbial ponytail in the playground any longer. martha is mad that her son has supposedly forget all the manners she had painstakingly grilled into him (she demands that clark immediately make peace with the bat but clark is so busy he doesn't even have time to visit his own ma lately and no it's not bcus he's afraid of the disappointed face™ nope. never).

it went from:

"i hardly think batman believes he's above the law, no, rather he believes that he is the law." (which is simply wrong, in bruce's opinion. no, he likes to think that he's operating outside of the law while perfectly abiding to it. alfred finds it dubious but it isn't like bruce will listen to him anyway)

and,

"just because superman can fly, he thinks he's above us. i hardly think any god would run at the sight of a green rock." (which is also wrong, in clark's opinion. he has never run from a fight even when kryptonite is present. lois can seconded it even though she wishes he does run as fast as he can)

to:

"maybe batman should smile more, that'll make him much more attra— i mean, approachable. which, i understand, will dispel the whole dark and broody and bat-themed performance he's got going on, of course, but im just saying, you know, the guy's got a pretty nice chin and—" ("clark!" hissed lois who's hiding among the people superman has just rescued from a burning building, only for superman's ears and shutting the man right up)

and,

"people only trust superman because he's so stupidly handsome." ("wow, B, didn't expect batman to come out like that," sarcastically comments nightwing in batman's comm. batman growls)

it's driving everyone insane. alfred is ready to take a very long, a very well earned vacation, lois wants his best friend to get laid, martha is working up a rant and the two heroes can't seem to figure out their stance on the idea of one another.

#superbat #fic idea #i guess?#your honour #they're idiots #so many ways this could end #istg #im dying #superbat fic ideas

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