#there is a part of me that even though she hurt me so bad i still dont want to hurt her especially now that she is vulnerable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idkwhatever580 · 3 days

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I’m sure you could pt. 1

Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader

Prompt: y/n follows Natasha to Norway. What happens when they go out? (Loosely based off of black widow events)

Warnings: fights, mentions of cuts and injuries, no smut but almost, mentions of death. No actual death though.

A/N: I’m working really hard on this one but it’s taking a bit out of me. I decided to create two parts to it. Because I’m basically going with the black widow movie. But including r. So have fun. Tell me if you think I should add something to part two!

Y/n’s pov

“NATALIA ALIANOVNA ROMANOVA OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!”

I am pounding on the door of the trailer and Natasha opens it with a gun in her hand and she quickly covers my mouth and pulls me inside.

“Shut the fuck up you’re gonna get me caught!”

I storm past her and say

“No you shut the fuck up! What were you thinking?!”

She sighs and says

“Detka please-”

“No! Don’t baby me! I am so pissed with you.”

“Please let me explain”

I huff and say

“Go on then. Explain to me why you left with no note not even a call! You could have been dead for all I know and I was just at home waiting for you!”

I start pacing back and forth in the little space there is.

“I know I’m not an avenger and I’m not all special like you are, but as your wife I deserve the decency to hear when you’re running away!”

“It wasn’t safe!”

I shake my head in frustration she keeps explaining

“It never is safe right nat?”

“They are after me. Everyone is after me right now. I felt horrible but I had to get rid of my everything because of it. I double crossed tony and the government.”

I let out a frustrated groan and she finally realizes how bad my breathing is. She knows it’s gonna be bad if I don’t calm down soon so she says

“Baby. I need you to breathe with me. In. And out. In. And out.”

I take a few more breaths and then I look back up at her

“I thought you were dead”

My eyes fill with tears and she says

“Oh dorogoy. Im so sorry.”

I start to sob and she wraps her arms around me and I grab onto her shirt as if she’s going to disappear if I let go. I start to rant into her chest.

“I thought I’d never see you again and you just were going to run off. You always do this Natalia I am always so scared. I wish you’d have come home and taken me with you.”

“You know it’s not that simple”

I nod my head and keep crying.

After a long while I finally am able to calm down and we get up and go to the bedroom to talk. Natasha starts with a question naturally

“How did you know where I was?”

I sigh and say

“This guy named mason broke into the compound somehow and told me after I almost shot him.”

She laughs and says

“He’s always been like that. Stupid”

I nod my head in agreement and Natasha asks another

“How did you get here? Do you think anybody followed you?”

I shake my head and say

“Mason made sure to get me here with nobody on my trail.”

I decide it’s my turn for a question

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

She shakes her head and says

“Clint threw me on the ground pretty hard but not bad. I think I got a few bruises but not much more”

I nod my head and say

“Let me see you”

She sighs knowing I need confirmation that she is not damaged too badly. I’ve always been like that.

So she stands up and takes off her shirt and does a slow 360 for me. Before she can turn back around I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and move her hair to the side so I can kiss her neck.

I trail my hands under her breasts and then move to the back and say

“Is this okay?”

She nods her head and whispers

“Yes”

I unhook her bra and let it slide down. I immediately start kneading her boobs softly making her let out some soft moans.

Her head rolls back and she turns around eventually to do the same for me. She kisses me softly and says

“Let me make you feel good”

I sigh and say

“Natty I don’t want to make you tired”

She chuckles and shakes her head

“You give me life baby. You could never make me tired.”

I raise my eyebrow and say

“I don’t know about that. I’m sure I could if I tried”

She smiles and kisses me tenderly

“I’m sure you could detka”

Before we actually get anywhere the generator goes out and everything turns off.

I groan and say

“Why now?”

She chuckles and says

“We don’t need lights”

I smile and say

“No. But I think we should figure it out before we fall asleep and then freeze.”

She sighs and says

“You’re right”

And as she is getting off of me I mumble

“As always”

Nat turns to me

“What was that?”

I look away innocently and say

“Nothing!”

She slaps my arm and throws on her bra and shirt again. We both go outside to investigate. Well. I investigate and she stands guard.

You can never be too safe.

Unfortunately the generator has run out of gas. So we need to go into town to fill up the little gas can we have.

We load up and go on our way. I smile at her from the passenger seat until we cross a bridge and a bomb goes off throwing us around.

I black out for a few minutes and once I am fully conscious again I look around and find nat next to me unharmed. But I look around for the perpetrator and see this person in a suit. It looks weird. But Natasha already is in action.

She unbuckles and falls making the car move. I finally realize that we’re hanging over the bridge. I shakily say

“Nat?”

She turns to me and says

“Get out and get as far away as possible through the backseat okay?”

“I’m not gonna leave you here with that maniac!”

“He’s here for me. Not you. Go!”

I know she’s telling the truth. It’d be no good if I’m hurt and she’d have to handle me too so I slip out the door and she starts shooting at him.

They start fighting and I see a brief case that looks like it has important vials in it. Honestly these things look like magic. So I grab them swiftly and sneak off.

I hide in some bushes and Natasha and the robot person fight more. From the looks of it they are copying her exact moves. Like they know exactly what she’s doing.

This is terrifying since she is never predictable.

Suddenly. They end up staring right at each other and as Natasha analyzes this things armor, it turns towards me. I know I’m hiding in a bush but I think it can see me.

She says

“You’re not here for me”

And she looks around for something. I widen my eyes and realize he’s here for the briefcase that I have in my hands.

Natasha knows it too so she runs at the armored person and they fight a bit more.

Natasha clearly knows what she’s doing so she yells

“Throw the case y/n!”

I don’t think and just listen to her so I throw it on the bridge and they fight to get to it. But Natasha gets there first.

They fight again and Natasha uses the persons shield that oddly looks like caps shield. But before she can win he kicks her off the bridge and I almost scream out but I remember they might come for me too so I stay silent as tears run down my face constantly.

They end up with the briefcase and I look and see that there is nothing in it. Clearly nat took it out before they kicked her off. But there’s no fucking point.

Once they leave and I see the way is clear I run down the side of the bank to the water. It’s a little steep and I slip making me fall a lot but I don’t even care. I don’t stop running.

I get to the water and start looking around.

Nobody’s pov

“My baby! No. No no no no. No no. You can’t be gone. Please Natasha nat please. I need you.”

Words start to roll out of y/n’s throat uncontrollably, but nobody can hear.

Y/n is on her knees at the river bank with cuts and scrapes all over them.

They look around and then start crawling to the water. Somehow their brain isn’t functioning properly and they just start looking for Natasha while repeating the same things over and over like a crazy person.

Until a gasp comes from the water and y/n looks up to see Natasha coming out on the other side.

She immediately scrambles up and says

“Nat?!”

They can’t hear her speak and they just lie down. Suddenly they pull some red glowing ball out of their jacket.

Y/n’s pov

That red shit is the stuff that was in Natasha’s briefcase! It’s her!

I almost yell her name when she gets up and starts looking around. I find my phone which somehow didn’t break in the crash or my fall and I turn the flashlight on and wave it at her.

I realize that if I yell at her it might alert that person again. I don’t want that.

She sees the light and knows it’s me. So I make my way over the hill and cross the burning bridge and climb back down much slower this time.

“Nat?”

“Y/n?”

We both sigh in relief when we recognize each other.

I run to nat and say

“Are you okay?!”

She nods her head still a bit winded from being under water

I tear up and say

“I swear to god if I ever find that person I’m gonna kill them.”

She shakes her head thinking and says

“You shouldn’t be here. You need to go home”

I look at her like she’s crazy and say

“And leave you for that thing?! No fuckjng way!”

I can tell she’s in black widow mode right now

“Y/n… you don’t know what we’re dealing with right now. I need you to go home. I need you to be safe”

I huff and say

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why won’t you listen to me!”

“Because! I am only safe with you. If you send me home nobody can protect me as well as you can. You are the only one that can help me sleep at night. You are my safety.”

She sighs and shakes her head knowing it’s a losing battle.

Suddenly I look down into her hands and in one, she is holding the red stuff, but in the other, is a little paper.

“What is that?”

She looks up at me and says

“What is what”

I look her in the eyes to be a bit confrontational and say

“What’s in your hand?”

She holds up the red vials and says

“Uh- I actually don’t know. But I’m going to figure it out”

“No no. Not that hand. That hand”

I point to the other hand.

“What? Oh- nothing.”

“Cut the act Natasha. Tell me what is in your hand.”

She hesitates but hands it to me

“Who are these kids?”

“Me. And…”

My eyes widen and I say

“Yelena…”

She nods her head and I say

“She got out?!”

Nat shrugs her shoulders and says

“We can talk about this in a bit. We need to get somewhere safe. Where they can’t get to us”

I nod my head and we walk back to the trailer making sure nobody is on our trail.

We sit down and Natasha and I take a second to look at each other and take each other in.

Only now does she realize the cut I got on my forehead because of my fall.

“I’m so sorry”

I shrug and say

“Not your fault. I went too fast down the hill looking for you and fell”

She laughs a bit at my clumsiness.

“I’m glad someone’s getting a kick out of this”

She tends to my wounds and I tend to hers as she tells me everything.

“If you’re coming with me you have to understand the dangers of this. We’re dealing with the red room here”

I nod my head and say

“I might not know much but I at least train with you for hand to hand. And I can shoot.”

She nods her head and says

“I don’t know if Yelena is truly out. She could have just been on a mission.”

“On a mission where?”

“Budapest”

I smile and say

“You’re one of the only people I know who say Budapest correctly.”

She nods her head and continues

“I’m hoping she’s still there. If not I don’t know what I’ll do. But mason brought these to me from my hideout there. So she might be laying low if she actually escaped.”

I nod my head and kiss the last wound I just cleaned up for her. Now I move on to brushing and re-braiding her hair.

“Who was that robot person?”

“I don’t know. But from the looks of it, they’re from the red room. So it’s probably not a guy. The red room utilizes women and their weaknesses. That person has been training to fight me since they were a girl.”

I nod my head and say

“Why don’t they look like any other widows?”

“I’m not sure”

I keep braiding my hair and just say what pops into my head.

“Do you think this girl is special to the red room? Like. Maybe she’s dreykovs daughter”

She shakes her head.

“Impossible. She died when I bombed the both of them. I didn’t mean to get her, but I had to get him and that was my only time slot.”

I nod my head in understanding and say

“Okay.”

She stands up when I finish the braid and says

“We’re going to Budapest. Grab your things.”

I look around and say

“I don’t have any things. For some reason I just left.”

She sighs and grabs some extra clothes for me.

Before we leave she grabs my hands and says

“Before we go, I can’t in good conscience let you come with me without telling you the dangers of this. We could very likely both die”

I nod my head and say

“I know. But there’s no one I’d rather die with than you. I’m not worried though. I know you’ll keep me safe.”

She smiles and kisses me and says.

“I could always kick your ass and make you stay here”

I smile and use her words from earlier.

“I’m sure you could baby”

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N: I’m totally gonna make a part two don’t worry. You just might have to wait a little bit :)))

Taglist

@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346 @moistblobfish

#natasha romanoff #marvel #avengers #fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #fanfiction #black widow #mcu

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sosa2imagines · 2 days

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Broken Hearts. Part 3

Warnings- Fluff, Idea of hurting someone, threats, mention of sex video, possessiveness, manipulation.

Lloyd, with a glint of mischief in his eyes, suggested an idea that sent a thrill through you.

“We could attack Peggy,” he proposed, his voice carrying a blend of excitement and determination. He passionately argued his case, emphasizing the benefits of taking action against Peggy. “Think about it,” he began, his words compelling and persuasive. “She's got it coming, and it would send a strong message. We've got the resources, the skill, and the drive to make it happen.”

Lloyd's enthusiasm was contagious, and his argument fuelled the fire within you, making the idea a tantalizing possibility.

Your response to Lloyd's suggestion was a light-hearted laugh, though the temptation to follow through tickled the backlines of your mind. “No.” you firmly denied, your voice tinged with amusement. Despite the momentary flash of excitement, you knew deep down that attacking Peggy wasn't the right course of action.

As Lloyd continued to argue in favor of attacking Peggy, Andy stepped in with a firm reminder. “Hey, this is illegal,” he interjected, his voice carrying a tone of reason. “Even if we pull it off, Peggy can turn around and sue you, dragging you through a legal mess.”

Undeterred by Andy's cautionary reminder, Lloyd remained steadfast in his determination. “Because of her, my Sugar's hurt.” he asserted, his voice filled with a mixture of anger and protectiveness.

“Lloyd, please?” “Fine Sugar.”

“It is funny, how he only listens to you, but not us.” Andy jokes, making Lloyd give him a death glare. You roll your eyes playfully, “Anyway, I have to go to meet May and her family.” You announce. “You're not going out, Sugar...” Lloyd said firmly, his protective instincts kicking in. His voice carried an edge of worry. Relax, I'll be fine. It's just May and her family, Nick is coming along too.” You gently tell him.

Your reassurance and Nick's presence seemed to soothe some of Lloyd's anxieties, and he begrudgingly acquiesced to your plans. “Fine.” he relented, a mix of frustration and protectiveness still lingering in his tone.

“Hey, thanks for coming with me.” you expressed your gratitude to Nick, a gentle smile playing on your lips. He responded with a casual shrug, his signature laid-back demeanor shining through. “No problem,” he replied, his voice carrying a hint of nonchalance. “Happy to be with you always.”

You smile and looked down, feeling bad about not being able to go out alone, without anyone being with you. Simply because Steve is not ready to leave you alone. He refused to sign the papers. You even blocked his number, but that has not stopped him. Andy did manage to get a restraining order against him, using the footage from your aunt's house. But then again, he had influences.

Nick senses the change in your mood, he puts an arm around your shoulder giving a gentle press “Hey no being sad okay? Anyway, Lloyd would have bored me to death with his dick jokes.” He rolled his eyes playfully and that made you laugh, but the fear was still there, “When will I get to be free Nick? Why can't he let me go?”

“He is a jerk, he realized he lost the most expensive thing in his life for trash. Me, Lloyd and Andy will make sure he leaves you alone for good, so for now enjoy with us.” He pauses, a mischievous glint in his eyes “unless you are bored with us?” Nick acts, as if the last sentence made him hurt, and you acted dramatic, putting a hand on your chest “Bored with you guys? Never ever!” You laughed, shaking your head at his jest.

May and her family warmly welcomed you and Nick, their genuine smiles offering a sense of comfort. They took the time to explain the inner workings of the cafe, sharing details about how they had run the business over the years. It was clear that they had put their heart and soul into making it a successful venture.

May and Happy, went on to discuss your aunt's legacy, mentioning how she had always wanted you to inherit and continue the business. The conversation revealed their deep appreciation for your aunt's vision and the hope that her dream would continue through you. While Nick took a special interest in sales and was very impressed. You both got along fine, with them.

“I wanted to help my aunt… but because of my busy married life I couldn't help her.”

“We understand dear, you have nothing to worry about.” May holds both of your hands in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “We also know about your husband…” Your eyes grew wide and Nick tensed, but May was quick to escalate the tension “Small town, but we don't judge you, even your aunt hated him” she tells you.

“Yeah, guess she was right about him… I was stupid to believe Steve.” you pity laugh, but May embraces you in a tight hug. It was a nice feeling and knowing no one is judging you.

After bidding farewell, you and Nick left for home.

“They are lovely.” You beamed. “Yeah love how the sales are good” Nick winked at you before focusing his attention, back on the road, making you roll your eyes at him.

Some minutes later you get a call from an unknown number you sigh, ignoring it, but it rings agains. So Nick tells you to pick it up thinking it might be important. “Hello?” “Baby doll, where the hell are you?” Steve demanded, his tone carrying a mix of irritation and false concern. Steve's voice took on a menacing tone as you remained silent, “Don't you dare hang up!” he threatened, his words laced with a threatening edge.

“Steve, please... leave me alone.” Your tone was filled with a mix of exhaustion and exasperation. The weight of his persistent presence and possessive behavior had taken its toll, leaving you yearning for the freedom to move on.

Nick kept an eye on you, along with driving carefully.

Steve's words carried an air of arrogance as he condescendingly asserted, “You're still my wife!” The audacity in his tone was matched only by his disregard for the pain he had caused.

You struggled to maintain your composure as Steve's words echoed in your ears, the memory of his infidelity and the betrayal it represented resurfacing with each syllable. Your voice wavered with a mixture of disbelief and disappointment, “Your wife? You lost that privilege when you cheated on me, Steve!”

Steve's tone turned even more demanding as he questioned, “Is that so? You're not going to obey me?” His presumption and entitlement irritated you, and you stood your ground firmly. “No!” you responded, your voice filled with determination and defiance. You would not bow to his manipulative attempts to regain control.

“You know... when Bucky left for London... he gave me a nice gift.” His words sent a shiver down your spine, hinting at something ominous. The mention of Bucky piqued your curiosity, but the sinister undertone of Steve's words made your stomach churn with unease. Your voice stuttered as you asked, “Wh... what are you talking about?”

“Bucky was kind enough to give me a video of you and him,” he taunted. “I was thinking if Lloyd and who's the other lady... oh yes, May, she works in your aunt's cafe, right? Maybe they'll appreciate Bucky's gift.”

“You are lying!” You yell on the call, making Nick stop the car on the side. “Oh, baby doll I’m not lying.” Steve laughs, before getting serious again, “Now we a good little housewife and come back to me!” “No no no no no no, please…” Steve ends the call and with your hands trembling, you drop the phone.

Nick was quick to hold your hands “y/n what did that bastard want?” “Y/n?”

As the weight of Steve's threat settled in, your world seemed to crumble. The panic rose within you, and your breath quickened. “No, no, no, no...” you repeatedly whispered, consumed by fear and disbelief. Your body trembled, and your mind raced with anxiety.

Nick, seeing your distress, reached out, gently placing his hand on your shoulder and attempting to ground you in the chaos, as he takes your hand and puts it on his chest. “Feel my heartbeats.” He spoke softly, his voice cutting through the whirlwind of your thoughts. “Hey, hey, breathe...” Nick implored, his tone firm yet soothing. His presence alone served as a lifeline, tethering you to reality amidst the storm.

With the echoes of panic subsiding, you found solace in Nick's comforting embrace. Confessing what Steve said, you sobbed, “I swear, Nick, I don't know anything about the video. I don't know what Bucky gave Steve...I swear. I..I..” The fear, confusion, and exhaustion overwhelmed you, and Nick's protective hold served as a reassuring presence, a safe haven in the midst of chaos.

As you clung to Nick, seeking comfort in his presence, he gently soothed you, his voice filled with understanding and compassion. “Shh, I believe you, okay?” he whispered, gently rubbing your back in a soothing motion. “How about we head back home, and let me and Lloyd handle Steve? We're going to find a way to deal with this, I promise.”

Part 2 -

Taglist- @imyourbratzdoll @blackhawkfanatic @ordelixx @sapphirebarnes @ilovetaquitosmmmm

@differenttyphoonwerewolf @vicmc624 @thezombieprostitute @nekoannie-chan @emerald-writes

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claymorexpunisher · 3 days

Text

You’re My Happily Ever After (18+ Fic) (Ch.1/?)

Disclaimer: This is NSFW. If that's not your thing, keep scrolling. I try to tag my work appropriately and if you still choose to click and read, do so at your own discretion. ALWAYS make sure to discuss everything prior to engaging in ANY kinks… Thank you for the love always and I hope you enjoy!

Pairing(s): Rhea Ripley/Fem. Reader

Summary: This is a second fic that follows the events of I’ll Shut You Up.

Chapter Tags: 18+, somnophilia, nipple play, breast worship, frottage, Domme/sub dynamic, Domme!Reader, Sub/Bottom! And Brat!Rhea, marking, spanking, (if you blink), relationship discussion.

Chapter Word Count: 1,091.

In the wee hours of the morning, I woke up to a deliciously warm and wet feeling around my nipples and my breasts.

Instinctively, I pulled Rhea closer with my legs before I woke up fully.

I let out heavy breaths as the sight of her velvety tongue and expert mouth lapping at my breasts greeted me, as her free hand groped at them eagerly.

Rhea alternated between swirling her tongue around the swollen peaks, on the sensitive underside of my breasts and then over the valley between them, tweaking my nipples every so often before her mouth went back to work, making the fleshy globes feel like they were being zapped by a delicious current of electricity.

My skin was already slightly sweaty and hot to the touch and I knew there was a wet patch forming in my pj shorts as Rhea’s hips worked against mine in earnest, her mouth and tongue getting more eager as she licked, sucked, and lightly bit at my breasts despite the very obvious cast and sling on her arm.

I wanted so bad to bring us both to the edge, but then I remembered…

“Rhea?… baby, your arm’s hurt.” I tried to protest, but my words just melted as her tongue ring stroked over a particularly sensitive part of my nipple, causing my torso to arch up against her and my hands to bury themselves into Rhea’s tousled hair as she let out a muffled chuckle.

“My tongue isn’t, ma’am.” The smart-ass whined, letting her mouth give my breasts a rest as it slowly traveled down my torso, lightly nipping and sucking on the soft skin on my stomach. “Sorry, I woke you. I’ve just… missed you so much.” Rhea whispered and I laughed as she then buried her face into my chest.

But once again, my laughter transformed into a wanton moan as Rhea’s clothed pussy rubbed against mine and her mouth sucked harder on my breasts.

Hearing her say that she’d missed made both my heart and my pussy even happier as well.

“Mmm, I should bruise your ass for this. But you’re hurt enough as it is… off.” I commanded, even though my body protested wildly as soon as she obeyed.

Rhea didn’t look too happy either, but I wasn’t willing to risk injuring her further just to get an orgasm.

“I told you, my mouth is f-“

“I’m fully aware that your smart-assed mouth is more than fine, Rhea.” I interrupted in a deadpan voice, spreading my legs to show her the wet patch on my pjs.

I wasn’t at all surprised at the proud smirk that brightened Rhea’s whole face before her features melted into as much of a pout as she could muster as she then cuddled up to my chest, resting on her uninjured arm.

“Then why’d you stop me?” She asked.

“Because a. You’re *injured* and you don’t know your body’s own limits- don’t argue with me-… and b. Your flight back home is in like 3 hours and we both know that once we get revved up…” I didn’t finish that sentence but Rhea understood, remembering all those weeks ago when we first got a taste of one another and we couldn’t seem to stop ourselves.

“We don’t need hotel security to come find us again, especially when you have a flight to catch. But if you get me started, I fear that’s exactly what’ll happen.” I said, which wasn’t entirely a lie, though I was partially just reminding her of that so that she’d stop pushing the limits of her very-serious injury just to prove a point.

To shush whatever protest was coming next, I leaned in for a slow kiss.

Our tongues quickly dueled with one another, stroking against sensitive nerve endings that had us both muffling groans and moans against each others lips.

Rhea grumbled unhappily as I peeled my lips away from her just as they started to deviate from her lips and over to her cheek, down her neck and my teeth lightly nipped at one of the pulse points there.

“See? We’re bound to get carried away and you have to go soon.” I chuckled.

I sighed contently and stroked Rhea’s hair as she then lightly sucked on the soft skin over one of my breasts, leaving one more territorial mark amongst a smattering of other similar marks that I *just* began to notice, before she rested her cheek atop of chest.

“I’m gonna have to wear a turtleneck to wrestle.” I grumbled playfully before we dissolved into soft laughter.

“… What happens to us when I go back?” Rhea asked tentatively after a few long seconds of silence where only the sounds of the building settling and the ticking of the alarm clock on the bedside table could be heard.

“What do you want to happen?” I asked instead of deciding for her. I figured I’d already tried to do enough of that in just the short weeks since this whole thing between us began.

“I meant it when I said that I don’t have the exact words to explain what I feel for you. But… I like being with you. And I wanna do more of what we did that night- obviously that has to wait til my arm’s better-“ She added before I could protest. She rolled her eyes and then gasped sharply as I gave her left ass cheek a light smack, my mouth watering as I watched it jiggle.

She moaned before she continued by saying, “I just don’t want us to go back to fighting. Or ignoring each other.”

“Which is fair. I don’t either. We’ll do as much or as little as you want… would you want me to come down and visit you when I can? This is… it’s gonna be tricky with you being out and me being on the road. But I’m more than willing to try.” I offered.

Our lips inevitably found their way back to one another and I let out another contented sigh and lightly gripped her chin in my hand as her tongue crept into my mouth, seeking my own.

“I’d love that, actually.” Rhea replied, smiling in between chaste kisses before she pressed a firmer kiss to my lips, practically smooshing our lips together.

“So aggressive.” I joked and giggled softly as more kisses followed. “…please behave yourself for once?” I said, sighing with faux exasperation coloring my tone.

“Mmm… nah!” Rhea shook her head and her delighted cackle filled the hotel room.

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@sassginaswanmills @exhaustedclown @aritannahrocks1300 @superlove167 @ayeeitsali

@queencherryberry @kayfabebabe @rhea-the-eradicator @souleatermia @bittersweetastoria

@domripley @wrestlingprincess80 @myluvrrhea @viper-nightmare @bdalas @fict1onallyobsessed

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iplaywithstring · 2 days

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Part of chronic illness that healthy, able bodied people really can't grasp is the tenuous relationship we have with medical professionals.

My current Dr is wonderful. Lovely woman. Very open, has never had any push back over any concern I've brought up. We met when I was teaching a knitting class. I feel comfortable with her, both personally and as a doctor.

I still have a ton of anxiety every time I make an appointment.

I worry that it's something serious. I worry it's something minor and I'm wasting her time. I worry that she's going to brush me off - even though she never has.

Today, I had a sebaceous cyst drained - I was pretty sure that's what it was when I went in, but she confirmed it and offered to drain it an no big deal. I felt so awkward getting it taken care of. She also warned me it would be a little painful - didn't hurt at all. I updated her on my frozen shoulder (it's improved so much! Almost full range of motion and very little pain!). Told her my mom had been diagnosed with celiacs - she offered to run my tests again (it's been 10 years) but expected they'd be inconclusive/negative again as I've been avoiding wheat for over a decade at this point, but I needed my yearly bloodwork done anyway so why not (and she reminded me a negative test doesn't mean I don't have it, just that they can't detect it, and it's not worth it to go back on wheat to confirm at this point). I asked about a repeat ultrasound of a cyst on my ovary (it was 3.6 cm in 2018 and I've been having pain in that area again) and she agreed it was a good idea to take a look at.

There was nothing negative in the appointment at all, and I still feel like I want to cry about it.

And I understand everyone has a certain amount of medical anxiety - I remember what it was like before I was sick - but this is different. So much of my quality of life and my day-to-day functioning is dependant on this woman. What if she thinks I don't need one of my medications anymore? What if she disagrees about my level of pain and sees no need for pain management or further testing (like the ultrasound)?

My relationship with my body is messed up - in some ways I am too aware of things, and in other ways, I don't notice/acknowledge problems because it's just always been like that. If she hadn't believed me about my wrists aching I wouldn't know about my hypermobility in my hands. If she didn't take my word for it how drained and worn out I am, I wouldn't have meds that allow me to function with ME/CFS (stimulants in the past, cymbalta currently). I didn't realize how bad my pain was until it was managed better. I never know day to day what I am going to be capable of or how limited I will be.

I have had Drs in the past who did not take me seriously. I lived with debilitating pain for years because a Dr took a clear MRI as "no signs of endometriosis". I've been dismissed as fat and lazy and accused of drug seeking (when I was specifically asking about pain management that did not include opioids). I am so thankful I was able to access a new doctor - not everyone has that opportunity!

but even with these ideal circumstances, it's still hard, and exhausting, and emotional. and that's something that most people in my life will just not understand.

#this is my life #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #me/cfs #endometriosis #hypermobility #celiacs disease #I'm a bit of a mess honestly #medical trauma #tw medical

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stellarspecter · 3 days

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STWG daily prompt 6/4/24: closet

pairing: stobin

wc: 738

transfem stevie, hurt/comfort, gender dysphoria (pls skip this one if that will be triggering for you!)

read it on ao3!

“Okay,” Robin said, throwing open the doors to Stevie’s closet. “Let’s see what we’ve got to work with.”

Stevie sat back on the edge of her bed, a little afraid of letting Robin peruse her embarrassingly extensive collection of polos. "Not a whole lot," she said. "I've only got, like, one skirt."

It was the most basic skirt she could come by, plain black and knee-length. The best part was that it flared out nicely when she twirled, which she had only ever done in the privacy of her own bedroom.

"That's alright," Robin said. "You don't need to wear a skirt to be feminine. I mean, have you ever seen me wearing one?"

Stevie cast her mind back and found, to her shock, that she actually couldn't think of a time when she had seen Robin in a skirt or even a dress. "Huh. I guess not. But that's different, you're all..." She gestured loosely to her friend, who quirked her eyebrow.

"I'm all what? Dyke-y?"

Stevie flushed. "I mean, I didn't want to say it, but — yeah."

Robin laughed. "It's okay, babe. I know you wouldn't mean it in a bad way."

"Thanks." Stevie bit her lip, thinking over the rest of what she had to say. "It's not just that, though. When you dress more masculine, people still see you as a girl. Because you're built like one, you — you actually look like one." She motioned to her chest in the shape of boobs, and then thought better of it and put her hands back in her lap, anxiously twisting around each other. "But when I dress more masculine, people just see me as a dude with long hair."

Robin sat down next to her and laid a hand over hers. "Stevie..."

She swallowed hard, on a roll now. "So I have to wear dresses and skirts and makeup for people to see me as a girl. Because if I don't, they're just gonna think I'm a man playing dress-up. Hell, they're probably gonna think that even if I do everything right. I mean, they're kind of right, aren't they? I just — it doesn't look right on me."

"Stevie." Robin's tone was hard and steely, dragging the tears she was unprepared for right out of her. She rubbed a rough hand (too large, what girl had hands the size of her face?) over her eyes. "Look at me."

Woefully, she met Robin's eyes. Her best friend grabbed her face between her hands, fingers tickling the back of her neck.

"You are not just a man playing dress-up," she said fiercely. "And anyone who thinks you are doesn't deserve to know you. You are beautiful."

Stevie's eyes welled up with fresh tears. "Rob —"

"No, you are," she declared. "Because you're happy. Have you seen yourself when you wear that skirt? Your eyes just light up and you smile so wide. You look so much more like yourself."

Stevie was crying again, but out of happiness this time. "You're so nice to me," she got out shakily between gasps for air.

Robin smiled. "Because I love you," she reminded her. "You're my soulmate, remember?"

Stevie nodded. "I love you too." She leaned forward and hugged her, inhaling the familiar scent of her green apple shampoo. "Thank you."

"Of course," Robin replied. They stayed in the embrace for a moment more, then pulled apart, Robin brushing errant strands of hair out of Stevie's face. "Just because you don't have a whole closet full of dresses doesn't mean you're not a girl. Any clothes you wear are girl clothes, because you're the one wearing them. Okay?"

Stevie nodded, trying to resist crying again, but it seemed that genuine kindness was her one weakness. "Okay."

"We can go shopping for some more skirts later this week, if you want?" Robin offered.

Stevie sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I'd like that."

"Great." Robin stood up and clapped her hands together. "But for now, let's see what kind of outfits we can put together with what you've already got! Styling can help a lot with making stuff seem more feminine. And accessorizing, so maybe you should get some more jewelry too."

"Sounds good," Stevie replied, coming to stand next to Robin, the both of them gazing into the depths of her closet.

Robin turned to look at her. "Ready?"

Stevie clenched her jaw and nodded. "Ready."

And together, they dove in.

dividers from @/saradika-graphics!

#stwgdailyprompt #*writes #trans steve harrington #stranger things fic #stobin

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