#then i can be upset by them saying my identity is a slur and not want to deal with that
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Hey I’m also queer and I use it as an identity label. I don’t agree with people excessively trigger tagging it when it’s not necessary, but I’d really suggest you educate yourself on its history as a slur. I am a gay trans man, so this is absolutely not terf rhetoric from me. But I was called queer in a derogatory way my entire life because I lived in a rural area where it was absolutely used as a slur. Maybe consider that ppl asking for trigger tags are also LGBT and not your enemy lol
Like go ahead and isolate yourself from other queer ppl all you want but just bc some ppl are genuinely triggered by the term doesn’t mean they’re attacking you for using it, lmfao
I know you probably mean well by this ask, and I see where you're coming from. I disagree, but I will give a good faith answer in return.
To understand where I'm coming from, let's compare the words queer and gay. Both words originally referred to general sexual deviancy in a pejorative sense, only later being reclaimed as proudly worn identities. Both words have been used as slurs for a long time afterwards, queer being more popular in the mid 20th century and gay gaining popularity as a slur in the later 20th into the 21st century.
I know way more queer people in real life who have a complicated relationship with the word gay than the word queer because gay was the word that was slung at them as an insult and a weapon their entire childhood. Gay was The insult of the 80s, 90s, and 00s. Anything bad, or weak, or stupid was "gay". There were whole campaigns to try to stop the use of gay as an insult, that's how bad it got. It's given a lot of people a lot of pain connected with the word.
But I have never, ever, seen someone tag a post "g slur". Why? Two words, both initially pejorative, both reclaimed, both continuously used liberally by those who hate us as a slur and an insult. Isn't it interesting how the more inclusive of those two words was targeted in a concentrated effort that started just a few years ago in terf communities? Isn't it interesting how the more narrow, less inclusive word, despite being the one more recently used as a slur and insult, despite the people in the community who still flinch when they hear it, was simply left alone?
To be clear, I don't think that we should be trigger tagging gay, or starting some "gay is a slur!" movement. I'm just pointing out parallels and questioning why the attitude towards two words with similar histories are so vastly different.
Educate myself on its history? I know it was used as a slur. So was gay, so was lesbian, so was every goddam word we have ever used to describe ourselves because it is not the words they find disgusting, it is us. Queer has been reclaimed and used in a neutral or positive way for decades and decades.
Context matters.
"you dirty queer" = slur
"I went to the queer student group meeting last week" = not a slur
"ew that's so gay" = slur
"I came out as gay when I was 16" = not a slur
No one is denying that queer has been and can still be used as a slur. But this specific "queer is a slur in any context!" movement legitimately did come out of terf communities in the last few years. I'm not accusing you of being associated with terfs. But "queer is a slur and triggering no matter how it's used" is terf rhetoric, and they've managed to spread it beyond their community. To claim that a word that has been reclaimed for decades and used in a neutral-to-positive context is a slur is disingenuous, and they know it, but they've successfully gotten other people to parrot it by hiding it under a layer of false concern.
One final thought: I have literally never seen anyone ask for queer to be tagged because they personally are triggered by the word. It's always people speaking on behalf of some hypothetical person who can't stand to even see my identity written out in a neutral-to-positive context. And if anyone really is so genuinely triggered by the term that they can't even stand to read it, they can just filter the post content, tumblr lets you do that.
#also i don't see people who tag my posts with 'q slur' as my enemy i just silently block them and i've said that#because it upsets me and i don't want to deal with that#if people can be upset by the word queer and not want to deal with that#then i can be upset by them saying my identity is a slur and not want to deal with that#do i think they're attacking me for calling myself queer? no#do i want to deal with people parroting regressive terf rhetoric that only emerged recently? also no#i just block and move on. i've made that boundary clear and i've never been mean to anyone about it#ask tag#queer#an e original
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Blog Update:
Hi, it's me, Loyal.
I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.
I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.
I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.
So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.
That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.
I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.
Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.
The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.
And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.
So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.
Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.
To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.
To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.
Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.
My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.
#I had someone help me write this because it's been a lot but hopefully this makes sense and explains things.#I'm leaving tomorrow. I just had a break because of everything that happened lately. With the car and then missing Techno so much.#Then the sudden onslaught it was like. Wow. This isn't good! I need change.#So I'm changing things. And I do know this is going to get me hate of course.#But I mean. I'm done with caring about that. I have people and things that I love and that's what I care about.#loyal talks about stuff and things#I'm not tagging this as discourse because like this is my literal fandom experience.
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This is to the fans: I’m going to say this once for all and it’s that most of you guys are actually pretty big a-holes to the lovely levity team. These people aren’t professional game developers they’re a group of people making a game on a show they love and some of y’all are taking it as something really serious thing. These guys are making a game while your calling them narcissistic and just really bad stuff (please stop genuinely it can seriously damage someone ) may I remind you that their making this game for you!? I’m sick of seeing some of you be so rude it’s not even criticism if you thing calling them narcissistic or stupid it’s just pure hate. ekko, melody I don’t know if your reading this but if you are I hope you get better ❤️🩹 as for you guys grow up. Some of you guys think your such heroes like “oH mY gOd YoU aRe LiKe FcKiNg ChiLdReN hAhA lol CrInGe” shut up you aren’t the main character. (Sorry for me being rude I just got in a car crash and I’m feeling all these emotions)
Oh no, I hope you're okay now!! I really hope you weren't injured, anon, car crashes can be so dangerous :(
That being said I do appreciate your wanting to stick up for the team. We've been through a lot as a friend group, but we're committed to seeing this through, though of course we have decided that if things get too stressful we're not going to risk our health over it. Luckily things have been relatively quiet and peaceful these past few days (KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD-).
Putting me opening up under a cut since it has to deal with cyberbulling and talking a tad about mental health pertaining to myself. Nothing too personal ofc but just in case!!
~ Melody
I guess I can open up a little bit about this... since I've been gone there have been people following me to every single blog I have, even ones I have never linked or posted anywhere to send me harrassment. On top of the severe upset surrounding the event of my leaving the blog and what happened in the subsequent months, it made it very hard for me to want to create. I made a side bog just for fun OC x Canon for me and my friends but someone found me within a matter of days and ran to my askbox trying to stir things up and claim I was trying to "hide my identity". I've begun getting my spark back and so I dedicated myself to working harder, even picking up the basics of coding to help lighten the load on Puppit's shoulders. Even then it's still a challenge.
Guess the point I'm making here is what others have said: Please don't jump someone or follow them across several blogs to send them harrassment telling them to kill themselves and calling them mental disabilities as if that's some kind of slur to be used rather than a genuine diagnosis that people struggle with. You don't know the full side of the story, and even then no one deserves to be treated like that even if you hate them. At the end of the day this is a silly little fangame made by fans for fans, it should not get so serious that you're actively hunting one of the devs down.
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(Ooc) btw S. V. Left a long message for Terra.
Ooc because this is actually serious stuff to talk about:
Pride wasn't the only thing involved in those situations. It was the will of the individual to act. It cannot all be attributed to something as simple as pride. I didn't even take the comment of being called gay as an insult I was simply explaining that it isn't quite a compliment either. Especially how it's typically used in a derogatory way most times. (It obviously wasn't in your situation but the ask I was given sorta made it out that I had taken it as insult. I did not, Terra was upset that she was told her plans all fail not that she was called gay. I thought it was a point that should be mentioned anyways.)
Being queer is tough, it's full of challenges. It's the power of the individual to realize "Hey, I am actually your equal and your not gonna treat me like crap." That's what gets things done, it's more spite and will then actual pride. That's my point.
Being queer is being beaten down and holding onto the most simple things because we are powerful and spiteful and alive, not prideful. We group around each other, spit on our wounds and stand up even though we're outnumbered, because we know that we don't deserve to be treated as lesser. Pride suggests that we deserve to be put onto a pedestal which isn't at all the case.
Everything we've accomplished is queer spite, queer sweat, queer tears, queer blood, queer love, queer community. We aren't prideful gods above all creation we are simple human beings raising banners with our blood for the sake of life. We are survivors of our every day existence. It is a constant battle and yet recently we have been deceived by our foes and told that the war is over.
It is not over. It has simply just begun.
We still continue to lose our rights because they aren't protected by our government. And we don't fight back! Why? Because "you already have pride month" or "it was worse back in my day." We are actively being gaslit! We hardly have any control over our lives and we're being told "grow up you liberal snowflake."
You can be proud of who you are and not change a damn thing about the world around you. However if you love who you and your community are, you will likely feel spiteful towards those who threaten you. Love is more powerful than pride.
If you love your people you're going to help them. That's where everything comes from. It comes from love and spite. "I hate that you hurt the thing I love so I'll take care of it and show it off!" That's us. It's all about the kindness in our hearts and the motivation for change. Love and Spite. In other words, passion.
Queer Passion > Gay Pride
Pride can only get you so far but with passion, you move forwards no matter what. Because you want that change. You need that change. This whole damn world needs to change.
Oppression is prideful. They view themselves as above others for the reasons they find in a delusional man's novel. They view themselves as above others as a desperate cling to power. They are prideful, selfish, idiotic, and greedy.
That's why I believe in passion over pride.
Though Pride month does sound a bit better than Passion month I must admit.
I'm saying this as queer person who struggles with their gender identity and sexuality. I've been called slurs and misgendered and deadnamed. When it comes to myself I get the adrenaline rush and I drop it. However if I hear it about my brother or one of my friends I'm legit ready to lay someone out.
I have legitimately almost fought someone for calling my brother a slur. That isn't pride! That's love for my family and friends and my community! That's spite and rage towards my oppressors! Me shouting as I'm shaking in anger and fear isn't my pride, it is my individual passion to help those I care about!
We are brave passionate individuals and we need to step up and do something about the way our world is. Boycott products run by homophobic people, spread awareness posts, start protests in the streets, give speeches, run for office, ANYTHING OTHER THAN SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING!!!
Sorry for the very long rant though I'm just very passionate about this kind of topic.
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i used the word queer in one of my posts that has become very popular and received a lot of attention.
a few people are upset by my use of the word queer as it has been historically used as a slur.
i know this is a very complex issue that will be more sensitive for some than others for various reasons. whatever your stance on it, i respect it entirely.
personally, i couldn’t use the word “queer” for myself or others for a very very long time. it had been used against me as a slur in harmful and hurtful ways and to see and use it was painful. for those who still feel the same way, i really do see and understand you.
personally, i have now reached a point where i am reclaiming all the words i use to label my identity. i didn’t used to like lesbian or dyke either for the same reasons, but now use them quite freely. for myself and myself only, to use the words that once defined me negatively, to describe what is beautiful and true, is a celebratory act that i am proud of. this is a personal decision that has taken years and i will never expect anyone to make that decision with me if it is not their choosing.
in that same post, when i describe myself as weird, i mean it! i do not conform to society’s expectations. i’m a physically disabled autistic lesbian. i’m not ever going to look or behave in a way deemed “normal” by the overwhelming majority. i have gradually reached a point where i take great pride in this and it is through being myself unapologetically that i can make the most meaningful contributions to society and can reshape the way it thinks of people like me. so no, i’m not trying to be quirky or a martyr when i say i want to embrace weirdness and queerness. i mean them in every sense of their meanings and intend to embody them. “fitting in” is just another means of conforming to the very limited ideal our society expects. i’d like to redefine that, even just a little.
i know my stance on this may be controversial to some but i hope people will be respectful of one another’s experiences and choices. i am always learning about myself and our community.
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Sophie, you being so “😜😜😜 HaHa How Quirky!!!” About the gender thing is really fucking hurtful. I’m a little frustrated right now. You dropped a slur into a conversation that, from what everyone knows, isn’t even yours to reclaim (and came really out of the blue), and now you’re treating the discourse around it kind of like it’s a joke. I love your blog and I’m really genuinely upset to see you poke fun at a serious topic like this.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I seriously messed up and hurt a lot of people. I'm so sorry for that. Maybe I was trying to lighten the mood and help heal that. But I realize that it can also come off as uncaring or unempathetic, and I shouldn't make light of it.
I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to make the hurt go away.
So instead, let me just be completely honest and say how I'm feeling right now.
At the time, I didn't think the word would be hurtful in a neutral context. Obviously, I know calling someone that is hurtful. I know the word isn't mine to reclaim, but I thought speaking about it would be fine. That was careless and I should have thought better of it. I didn't, and people have a right to be upset about it.
I didn't understand. I do now. And if I could go back and do things over again, I would. But I can't. So I want to find the best way to fix the damage I caused.
And at the same time, I'll admit that some of the response has struck a nerve, even if I have tried to laugh it off. This isn't on you or most of the other people I hurt, but is about the posts I saw surrounding whether I count as "queer" or not.
This is something I've struggled with so much more than I let on.
I exist in this strange sort of limbo, identifying as a woman in an AMAB body, but not identifying as trans either, and it makes me feel like an outsider to everyone. I don't know where I fit in.
I... don't talk about my own struggles with my gender because... if I'm honest... I like that many of my followers see me as a strong, confident person.
And the truth is, in this community, I'm surrounded by actual brave, confident people who have the courage to go out and be themselves in the real world while I'm stuck playing dress up only in the privacy of our own bedroom because I'm terrified of being seen by other people. And it's not even anyone's fault but our own. We actually have a supportive and accepting family who knows about me. I've fronted around them before. But it's been so long and I don't even understand why I'm scared.
We talked about letting me front and dress how I wanted just for Halloween when it might be safer where we are, but I backed out of even that.
So maybe making light of it was selfish too in this way, because thinking too much about my own relationship with my gender identity too seriously hurts. It makes me feel like a failure.
Right now, I feel so bad about what I did, bad about the whole situation, and just want everyone to feel better. And I don't know the best way to help people heal is.
Hmm... maybe cats? People like cats, right?
It can't hurt, at least. 🤷♀️
youtube
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CW: discussion of slurs, uncensored use of the r slur and the f slur
i wanted to talk about the way people use the R slur and are like, "no uwu its ok im reclaiming it"
like, just as a disclaimer (i consider this basically unrelated to my actual point):
but like, if someone tells me they arent comfortable with me using the r slur when around them, obviously im gonna not use it around them.
thats not really related to the topic at hand imo, though. id do the same thing with words like queer which have been unambiguously reclaimed but do still make some people feel targeted or upset.
if someone asked me not to talk about dogs when around them because their dog passed away id think about it the same way, and its not super about the semiotics of the word dog or smth
but we can observe that the word "retarded" used to describe neurodivergent people comes from a medical field that was, at its base, hostile to a vulnerable minority population. the inception of the word was not neutral, it was aggressive. it was also imposed from above onto that same minority group, and used to discriminate them out from the in group.
thats the historical basis of the word being a slur. as the medical field has advanced over time, we've shed that term in an academic context, because our treatment of and understanding of neurodivergent people has advanced to a point where "mentally slow or halted in mental progression" is not an accurate description of how the medical field understands neurodivergent people as a group.
ill admit, we can also observe that terms like "stupid, lame, moronic, imbecile, idiot", etc also have similar roots and an argument can be made that they also used to be slurs, even if they aren't used in that way anymore. so like theres a path that i think a lot of people want to take the word retarded down, and a lot of people also relate to having used it in that sense basically their whole life. i dont super want to discount that
but
so many people who use the r slur posture so much about "oh im reclaiming it", and i guess i find that pretty absurd.
like. "queer" is reclaimed bc we use queer as a neutral, descriptive word. the n word is reclaimed as a display of comradery. sometimes people will call themselves like the f slur or the d slur to say just, "im so gay" in a positive way. these are words who have a tangibly different use than they had as slurs, they are not being used to slur people.
but ive never actually seen someone use the r slur that way? its always being used derogatorily. it is fundamentally still being used as a slur. and we agree that slurs are bad. so why doesnt that compute?
you cant just continue to call things the r slur as an insult to say its stupid as hell and consider that reclamation bc its like, identical to how the slur has been used for decades
like if i say "im such a fag" im not rly saying "im degenerate and not masculine" im saying like. god i like boys and im gay and im gay. yknow??
this isnt like the word retard. ive LITERALLY never in my entire life seen someone use the word retard to mean smth other than an insult. if someone used "retard" in a like self affectionate sense to evoke comradery w/ other neurodivergent people. thats groovy imo that would be a case of trying to "reclaim" it.
my beef is with people who use the word "retard" in a way indistinguishable from how people have use it for decades, just to say "thats stupid, thats low, i dont like that" and then are like "no u dont get it; im neurodivergent so its reclaimation"
finally, a note addressed to the people who want to use the r slur as a word for "stupid" not directed at neurodivergent people:
if someone is using the r slur they should be honest about why they're saying it. and that is, always:
because its an insult, they're trying to insult something by calling it stupid.
they're trying to neutrally describe a neurodivergent people bc they think its still the 1960s
they're specifically trying to insult neurodivergent people
and like, HOPEFULLY we can agree that 3 is just bad.
2 is also bad, if arguably well intentioned. its smth to be corrected, and thats what things like Rosa's Law was passed for.
and ig in that context, i dont personally see the appeal of using it in the case of 1.
why would u want to share that kind of linguistic company w/ 2 and 3, yknow???
#cw slurs#tw: slurs#reclaimed slurs#f slur reclaimed#ableist slurs#ableist language cw#ableism#r slur#cw r slur#tw r slur#f slur tw#f slur#f slur mention#r slur tw#r slur mention#wow thats a lot of cw tags#hopefully no one sees this who doesnt want to ;v;#discourse tm#si(o)s#long post
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💚 Will or Eleven or Max
Will Byers analysis
I've already done Max and I'll make Eleven next, but for now I'm going to analyse Will. I'm going to break him down season by season and speak about some key moments and his character arc. This is kind of in companion with my Mike analysis but you don't have to read it to understand, just to get more of the full picture.
Season 1
Right off the bat we see a lot of Will's personality from his technique playing D&D. Will is not making choices for himself and seems a lot more quiet than his friends. He's pressured by Dustin and Lucas to make a decision so we don't know if he actually believes what he's picking. However, Will clearly will try and be honest and do the right thing over the easier option. Dustin and Lucas told Will not to say to Mike that the demogorgon got him, but Will doesn't care as he thinks it's the moral option to tell Mike. We also see that he has a much closer relationship with Mike than the rest of his friends. He's also quite nerdy (in an affectionate way) and we see his excitement over getting Dustin's X-Man comic.
Unfortunately, we find out Will has been bullied his whole life. His father believed him to be gay and would refer to a young Will with homophobic slurs. Will similarly faced this bullying at school, with people making rude comments about his sexuality based on his clothes and soft spoken nature. By the start of S1, Will has started to realize that he's not 'normal' as evidenced by the show's pitch bible.
Will Byers, twelve, is a sweet, sensitive kid with sexual identity issues. He only recently came to the realization that he does not fit into the 1980s definition of “normal.” His innocent choices, such as colorful clothes, prove a constant source of bullying. Like Mike, Will escapes through fantasy gaming, where he can be himself, uninhibited. He has a close relationship with his mother, Joyce. His brother, Jonathan, helps raise him in lieu of their father, who abandoned them four years ago
This description also draws similarities between Will and Mike. As I've said, they have a closer relationship than he and his other friends and we see these platonic feelings develop into more romantic ones as the show goes on. Like the pitch says, Will is close with his mother and brother and they have had a lot of moments together. This is how we find out about his character
Will has a highly creative mind. He has a passion for creating art as we see through flashbacks with Joyce. He also makes stories just like his best friend, Mike. Will likes horror movies and the arcade as well. As we can see, Will is highly passionate about his interests. However, we can also see as a result of his father and bullying, Will pretends to be interested in things he's not. This conversation with Johnathan is significant because whilst it's talking about sports, it's very easy to interpret as a metaphor for his sexuality.
Johnathan tells Will he shouldn't be upset his father did not come because Will is not a fan of sports and baseball. However, Will is trying to force himself to like sport because he knows his dad and people in general want Will to like things he does not. However, Johnathan tells him he shouldn't force himself to like things he doesn't like just because he feels like he should, especially if his homophobic father tells him so. Combine this with his character description and it's clear Johnathan is talking about more than sports, even if they don't realise it. The writers must have known what they were doing. As well as this, there is a lot of talk of Will being good at hiding which I think means that he's hiding more than physically but also he's hiding his sexuality. Hiding in a closet per se.
As a result of his bullying, Will is a people pleaser who will make decisions not for himself but for other people. This is even the case with friends, like in the opening scene where Will is choosing based on the pressure he feels from Dustin and Lucas. Mike, Joyce and Johnathan are the only people he is truly comfortable to be himself around. I also wonder if Will wasn't initially shy but became withdrawn to protect himself from bullying.
Will returns from the Upside Down and tries to make himself seem happy and fine so Joyce doesn't worry about him. But we see him flashing between our world and the Upside Down so we know something is wrong. It was amazing Will survived and he's clearly much more smart and resourceful than we thought, but that doesn't mean the experience didn't affect him. That leads us on to...
Season 2
At the start of S2, we see Will recovering from the events of S1. He's going through a lot and most people don't seem to notice. We see him going to therapy with people staring at him, with Mike noticing that he seems quiet although Lucas said he's always quiet. Will has always had a closer relationship with Mike so it makes complete sense that Mike would notice this when others wouldn't.
After a heart to heart with Johnathan, we learn Will believes everyone pities him and treats him like he's fragile. If they don't, then they call him a freak or zombie boy. Will and Johnathan have another talk about how it's ok to be different, comparing Will to David Bowie (who was queer). This again can be taken as an allegory for Will feeling alienated because of bullying and his sexuality and having to learn to accept that with the support of Johnathan.
Another person who isn't treating Will weirdly is Mike. In the crazy together scene, Will is finally able to open up and admit how he feels with Mike saying he relates. Will clearly doesn't want to be pitied or infantalised because of his past trauma. As I said, Will is smart and resourceful and he's also grown and changed so it makes sense that he dislikes this. I also think people mistake his shyness for weakness. He's strong. He lived in the Upside Down for a week. And yet people even with good intentions treat him like he's going to break. I think this is why he took Bob's advice to stand up to the mind flayer; because he's actually quite brave.
Post flaying, Will breaks down to Joyce which makes sense as I've established that's one of the people he's comfortable speaking to. We see a lot of stuff going on in this period that is not fully Will, although some things are him. Will trying to find Hopper in the tunnels wasn't the mind flayer. Nor was his guilt over leading the soldiers away or him sending a message in Morse code. As we've seen, Will always tries to do the right thing and this means that even whilst flayed we still get a sense of his strong morality.
Before I wrap up my discussion of S2, I'll break down the memories mentioned about him. Joyce says Will gave a girl his toy truck despite the fact they couldn't afford another one, which shows how Will despite his shyness is very kind hearted and unselfish. Johnathan spoke about him and Will working on Castle Byers together which demonstrates their closeness and affection for each other.
Finally, Mike told us his memory. Will was lonely on the swings by himself. He didn't initiate the conversation with Mike, probably due to his shyness. However, he made the decision to be friends with Mike, telling him yes, which shows that he definitely can and does make decisions for himself. Often his decisions are pressured by his father or more accidentally by Bob, Lucas and Dustin. Because of his quietness, he gets pushed around. But he's always cared for Mike and he's always stayed true to himself. It also demonstrates how they've always had a special connection and closeness unlike anyone else which continued as they grew up (Hawkins isn't the same without you, best thing I ever did, etc). Now onto...
Season 3
In S3, the arc about Will's (homo)sexuality begins. At the start of the season, Will is less mature than his counterparts. He wants to play D&D and never grow up. According to some, his dress style doesn't seem to mature like the rest of his friends. Will had a lot of his childhood stolen from him by his trauma from the UD and the mind flayer. This means he's overcompensating and has stunted development. He makes silly comments about girls not liking science which his friends might have said in earlier seasons but now just feels immature. I'd like to clarify though; Will's lack of interest in girls is not immature, it's gay.
At the start of the season, we see Will tired by his friends' obsession with relationships. Mike and Eleven are constantly off smooching each other so Will no longer sees his closest friend. His friends never play D&D and they forgot about Dustin too, showing how they only seem to care about girls. Will calls Mike out on this, with Mike saying the famous line 'it's not my fault you don't like girls'.
By this point in the series, I think Will knows he's gay deep down but hasn't really tried to think about it. Him saying he's never going to fall in love reminds me a lot of myself believing that because I didn't like the opposite sex I was incapable of love (if you're not interested in relationships or love that's fine too, I'm just personally not aro or ace).
Will could kind of ignore being called gay by bullies as he could dismiss it as unnecessary cruelty and not personal. But Mike is different. Will has feelings for Mike. And now Mike has exposed him and insulted him for it. You can see the panic setting in on Will's face and it just hurts you to watch it. Will destroys Castle Byers and his photos of Mike lamenting about his stupidity for even thinking he could get around liking Mike and girls in a standout performance by Noah Schnapp. It's the beginning of his sexuality arc which appears more in S4.
Unfortunately, we don't see much more of Will's arc in S3 as it's dropped for more supernatural things. We see his intelligence in investigating and how he's able to tell Mike things. We also see that he's got a good relationship with Mike by the end of the series as they have a very smiley convo in which Will says he's not going to join another party. Apart from that, there's not much that stands out to me until...
Season 4
At the start of S4, Will is aware that he is gay and has feelings for Mike. He does his hero project on Alan Turing, who was gay. I don't think that would be common knowledge or that Alan Turing was as well known as he is now (especially in America) which makes me think Will did research into queer history. He pretty clearly rejects a girl in his class showing how hes aware he's not into girls. He also makes a painting for Mike which is definitely somewhat romantic as Eleven said so and also he crushed it when they had a romantic moment together.
Will at school is more of the same. Will is incredibly shy and doesn't want to make himself a target of the school's vicious bullies. He can empathize with Eleven and gets upset on her behalf whilst helping her clean up after her diorama is destroyed. Whilst is would've been better if he helped her whilst she was getting bullied due to his history I get why he did nothing. Also despite the lack of screentime their relationship gets, it is nice to see Will being a caring brother for Eleven.
Will gets frustrated with Eleven lying to Mike saying he deserves better. This is probably a bit of jealousy, especially considering that he is established to be honest to Mike. However, I still think that Mike was in the wrong in their argument where he tried to blame Will for Eleven lying and refused to take accountability for third wheeling Will for a girl for the millionth time. I can only imagine this hurt more now Will is aware of his feelings.
As the season goes on, we can see Will is wanting to tell Mike how he feels. He's always confided in Mike and is very honest so it must be hard for him to not have Mike know about his feelings. This is why he took the painting and had that talk about being scared people won't like his truth. I think there will be a confession to someone (probably Mike or Johnathan) about his feelings in Volume 2.
In conclusion
Will is a smart, shy and kind hearted person who is struggling with growing up and his feelings due to past trauma and internalised homophobia.
I've got Robin analysis up next and then Eleven. Thanks for anyone who read this way too long post, I appreciate it. And thanks for the ask, anon (:
#stranger things#stranger things four#byler#st4#stranger things analysis#will byers#mike wheeler#byeler
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I said "my identity is not a slur" on one of my other blogs and someone came into my inbox (on anon, of course) to basically say "here's how your identity is a slur :)" and the most obnoxious part is that they said it like they thought they were helping me??? Fuck outta here. I don't need people teaching me the history of the word queer or telling me it was used as a slur, but if you're determined to do so we can have the same conversation about the word gay. Most of our terms were used as slurs at one point or another. If you want to be genuine and helpful let's not pick and choose which ones people are allowed to identify with, let's wring them all out to dry! But that's not what the "queer is a slur" crowd really wants, huh?
If me using the word queer is upsetting or triggering to you, maybe stay off blogs where people call themselves queer. Maybe avoid interacting with posts that use the word queer. Cuz you're damn sure not going to change my mind or anyone else's who loudly and proudly call themselves queer.
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my dni!
(it's long bc a sex blog and a political blog are linked and my sexual identity (butch) is linked inherently to my politics. so idrc if you are upset about me having a lot of boundaries and here they are~)
- ARE A MAN (INCLUDING TRANS MEN, WHO ARE MEN)
- ARE OVER 29 OR UNDER 18 (NO AGE IN BIO/BIO LINK/PINNED = BLOCKED)
- ARE A T/ERF / TWE/RF / AGAINST TRANSFEMS OR TRANS WOMEN IN ANY WAY
- are a pansexual (as opposed to bisexual) who knows the history of the term
- FOLLOW/ABIDE BY ANY BLOGS THAT ARE INTO D*KE BREAKING/"ORIENT*TION PLAY"/INSINUATING LESBIANS ARE LESS LESBIAN FOR LIKING DICK/ETC. this does not extend to regular corruption kinks (i.e. pretending a girl is dirty for liking your dick). this is about the flavor that says lesbians are "corrupted" by dick (i.e. a lesbian specifically is dirty for liking dick). ESPECIALLY if you are a tme lesbian— you are a glorified chaser. corrective r*pe IS NEVER OKAY AND SUPPORTERS ARE NOT TOLERATED HERE.
- allow men to interact w my posts, esp nsft ones (if u have a men dni blog don’t worry about tagging but if u let men interact pls tag my posts men dni or don't rb them)
- think trans men (or anyone who is partially a man) can be lesbians
- think butches and trans men are connected intrinsically in some way other than generally by being masculine (tma butches are excluded when you pretend this)
- engage in c/nc (anything beyond mildly dubious consent), r/aceplay, ag/eplay, c/gl, "detrans" play, etc
- use the q slur without warning when talking 2 me
- think femme and butch are not terms exclusive to people ONLY seeking out romantic/sexual relationships with other women/sapphic-aligned ppl (outside of ballroom culture)
- think the d slur is not a lesbian-exclusive term
- believe stud/stem(me) is a term non-Black people and/or non-lesbians can use
- believe non-tma people can use f*m*oy, tr*p, or the t slur (tr**ny)
that's all i suppose don't be the reason i add something else to my dni pls
GO READ MY B/F ER0TICA!!
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The warriors having an S/O who’s trans? Im getting a vibe that some of them would be supportive of trans rights
Fellow trans 🤝
Warriors with a trans lover
Ox
Ushii is probably the one who knows the least about it, he might be a little awkward at first purely because he’s afraid to say the wrong thing
He’s so respectful though and he’ll pay close attention to whatever you tell him about it
He makes sure you know that he loves you no matter what and he doesn’t think of you any different
Afterwards he’ll do research on his own to be more informed. I’m talkin reading glasses ON. typing “transgender” into google with one finger
Tiger
My girl Tora is loudly supportive
There’s no uncomfortable moments and you’ll never wonder how she feels
She’ll never mix up your name or pronouns
Honestly I think there’s a good chance that she’s explored her identity before ultimately deciding that being a woman fits, or I can see her being a she/they
When you tell her, she’ll demand that you celebrate and the drinks are on her tonight
Dog
Dotsuku isn’t super well versed in what it means to be transgender, I’m sure he knows of It,,, but he is going to be worried that it also means your sexuality has changed and you’re not attracted to him anymore
He’ll be supportive of you either way but he’ll be much happier for you once you explain that you’re still his
He might use the wrong pronouns or name a couple times at first but he picks it up quickly and he’ll beat the shit out of anyone who does it on purpose
Boar
Ino,,, I love her so much but she’s honestly gonna be a little bit insensitive at first
Not straight up cruel but she definitely doesn’t realize how tender of a subject it is. She’s kind of dismissive at first like “okay and?”
Ino is so traumatized by her mom to always be thinking of appearances. She has to be perfect and because you belong to her, you also have to be perfect.
You are very special to her though, so I think once she realized that she hurt your feelings and how important it is to you, she would apologize in her way
Her way being that she would spoil you with expensive gifts and offer to pay for any surgeries or hormone treatments you desired
You have to be perfect but she comes to realize you already are
Sheep (he’s your grandpa)
Hitsujii has been around the block multiple times, he’s probably been in lgbt spaces before if for nothing else than for fun
He might not have current information though, he probably still would use the term transsexual and stuff like that
Ultimately though he would try his best and he’s not judgemental
Dragon
“....okay?? Like I give a shit.”
He doesn’t care. It’s as if you dyed your hair or something
He’ll slip up on your pronouns (assuming you changed em) most of the time in the beginning but if you remind him a couple of times he’ll get it
Snake
Calls you slurs
I’m joking (well… sort of)
He probably will tease to get a rise out of you but he doesn’t mean it
If you’re someone he really cares about he’ll feel bad about it if you get upset and make an actual effort to be nicer about it in his own way
Gjdhshd I can so see him using your new correct pronouns and being like “well you always looked (manly/girly) anyway”
Chicken
NIWATORI IS A THEY/SHE AND I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL
You knew before you ever came out that she not only would support you but also be happy that you’re finding your most authentic self
Monkey
LOUD ALLY
actually I say ally but she’s definitely lgbt I just haven’t decided which way lol.
Have you SEEN her? cishet people aren’t like that
She’s also incredibly perceptive, she probably knows long before you tell her
Possibly even before you even know
Rabbit
I’ve thought about Usagi being trans for years just because I am and he’s my favorite lol
Whether or not you see Usagi as trans he’s still supportive of you
If you’re anything to Usagi he’s supportive of EVERYTHING you do.
Usagi also has a great memory and is focused on you anyway, so he won’t slip up even once.
Someone calls you your deadname and he’d be like “who’s that?” It’s as if he’s forgotten anything has changed
Rat
he’s not surprised anymore he’s probably seen every way this conversation can go
You’re nervously spilling your guts and he’s just like *yawn*
He’s totally chill about it, he probably doesn’t have a ton of opinions on trans people anyway and it doesn’t change the way he sees you at all
#lowkey most of the characters are not good people but I still think that they would still love and support their trans friends/lovers#juuni taisen#juni taisen#zodiac war#juuni taisen x reader#trans headcanon
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hi, i hope this is the right place to ask this! so basically. my brother is autistic and struggles a lot with internalized ableism- he sees his autism as a sort of stain on his identity, constantly saying stuff like “augh my stupid autism” or “if i wasn’t autistic i wouldn’t have this problem.” like of course it’s normal to be frustrated by things, but it’s a genuine self-hatred thing for him. he’s even called himself the r slur in the fallout of arguments. my whole family supports him wholeheartedly and we’re always trying to show him that we don’t love him “even though he’s autistic” but that we love all of him, including that he’s autistic. is there anything we can do to help him see himself in a better light, or is this more of a self-discovery thing? i’d love for him to join tumblr and find a community but i don’t think that’s what he wants lol. thanks so much in advance i hope you’re having a nice day/night <3
Yeah this is the right place to ask this 👍🏻 Hi, sorry my answer took so long. As I’ve said in previous asks I’m trying to get caught up after not being able to for a while because of mental health. Since it’s been so long, the situation might be different and please feel free to send an ask (or message) if there is different information now or something else you’d like to ask.
Honestly the things you mentioned here make it clear that you’re informed and really trying to help. You seem to be very understanding of him and I would say trust your perception that it’s a problem but don’t get too discouraged because stuff like this does change. Self image and acceptance are major aspects of someone’s life and when you’re internalizing stuff like that it’s really damaging. And yeah a big part of self acceptance is very much a personal journey, but definitely the people close to you play a part in shaping that. The most important thing that you can do is just support him and not validate those statements.
I had a similar journey with my younger sibling who is dyslexic (and now has been informally diagnosed with adhd). They had a lot of internalized ableism and thought like that they were better by trying to “overcome” dyslexia and thought people could “push past” their disabilities if they just tried hard. It was hard to watch and I definitely wanted to help them so much that at times I confronted them. I found that addressing it directly made them upset. What I learnt from that is people do kind of have their own journey, but often if you figure out where they’re coming from and how to communicate your acceptance it really does make a difference. It’s just not immediate which can be hard, in fact sometimes the direct reaction is negative but then over time it’s positive.
My advice is that if you aren’t sure maybe you try to figure out what your brother’s internalized ableism stems from, is it being bullied, stuff online, childhood experiences, etc. Once you have that information you can try to really avoid triggering his internalized ableism, like how you mentioned it sounds like arguments might be a trigger. I’d also suggest just taking a gentle but direct approach, letting him know how you feel and what you want him to know. One thing that I find is very useful in relationships is instead of being reactionary- like if he says something negative that’s when you address his feelings, instead be proactive- when he’s upset, let him express himself, but when he’s not doing anything that is motivated by internalized ableism that’s when you address it.
The most powerful thing I could do with my sibling was just be 100% accepting without validating what they said. Once I realized it was coming from internalized hate I just made a point to show self acceptance. I started to just like make positive jokes about my own neurodivergecy and casually share the perspective of disability acceptance. Talk about ways that I struggle with things similar or have similar experiences to show them that it isn’t dyslexia = difficult and “normal” = easy. Like I’d make a comment about how I can’t read certain fonts as well or how I struggle to do geometry since I’m mot great at visual spacial stuff.
Also yeah I totally understand the tumblr thing, with my sibling what I do is like an exchange- I’ll do this thing you want me to if you do this thing I want you to. Maybe something like that could work?
Another important note, obviously some stuff is disability and even autism specific, but a lot of general self image stuff applies to stuff like this. Like personally I was very self negative and what helped me was the trick of making self aggrandizing jokes instead of depreciating jokes. So I’d suggest just maybe finding ways to up his self esteem and maybe looking up ways to respond to unhealthy self criticism.
Thanks for your ask, I hope this helped! Don’t give up! Also if you have any more questions, want more information, or anything please feel free to send me a message or send in another ask.
#autism#autistic#ask#autisitc community#self esteem#tw internalized ableism#internalized ableism#actually autisitc
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Hey man, im sorry that post hurt your feelings. It's understandable to feel upset when you're on the receiving end of discrimination, I know white ppl are esp sensitive to it bc you aren't used to it. But that's also just the thing- like, you can be prejudiced against white people, but white people only benefit from the systemic oppression of racism. You will never experience racism. White is not a marginalized identity. So no, people hating on margo getting with miles (a rhetorical relationship thats not even a central part of the movie. It's weird that people feel so attacked by her to write callous posts for shipping them) is Not comparable to people disliking the actual relationship between gwen n miles. Also, snowbunny can mean white woman who fetishizes black men, and can Also mean white women who simply date black men. Regardless of whether she respects him. Sure its not a nice word, neither is bleach demon, but neither of those are slurs. Or bigotry. So suggest such is to be ignorant of the difference between bigotry and prejudice.
Thanks for taking the time to write all this and being nice. I apologize for the mistakes in the post. First i want to say that i'm not a white american (i'm all over the place genetics-wise, but mainly arab and blakan). Also, i absolutely understand that hating on Margo for being shipped with Miles is wrong and i agree. I was just mentioning the specific post that i think the anon is mentioning, which was just analyzing why Flowerbyte was very unlikely to happen, but i do think that specific post could have had nicer wording, now that i think about it. Regarding the use of 'snowbunny', i only knew the first meaning, so thanks for letting me know. I also didn't realize 'bigotry' wasn't the appropriate word to use in this situation, as i don't live in an english speaking country and it's not a word i have to use in context very often. I'll edit my post to make it more correct. I hope this all didn't sound too much like a Youtuber apology because that's not really my intention.
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I think that sometimes declining to trigger tag can be okay.
Sometimes.
HEAVILY depends on the trigger in question, the op, and the theme and context of op's page. There's also a right and wrong way to say it.
E.g. I run a rat blog. It's just rats, all rats, wholly centered on rats. Rats have funny tails, almost scaly-looking with a peach fuzz glow.
I could understand somebody being squicked out enough by it to avoid seeing rat tails.
But if they asked me to trigger tag rat tails, well... I could try, but that would be 95% of what goes on my blog and... at that point, it's probably best for the person to unfollow me.
I would fail to keep rat tails off that person's dash. I know my adhd ass. I couldn't keep up with tagging almost every post with a content warning for itself.
Of course I would want to-- I'd want Tail Squick to be able to bathe in the bliss of rats just like the rest of us... but tails just. come with rats
Tails are unavoidable on rats. If you don't want to see a prominent feature of rats, it's best not to follow a rat blog.
But I sure shouldn't go "no I won't do that<3" either.
Rather, I'd wanna say that I do not think I can do that due diligence, that I should not be trusted to do so. They can better keep themself safe from seeing rat tails by not having me on their dash because I would fuck up very often and put rat tails on their dash.
Another example: the word "queer"
"Queer" is not a slur and shouldn't be treated like one. Some people are upset by it, and it's okay to trigger tag it for them, just not as a slur.
I would feel for somebody who asked me to trigger tag q word or something. But I know that I wouldn't be able to fulfill it. I reblog queer stuff all the time because being queer is important to me.
It's not feasible for me to do the due diligence because of how much there is. I know myself-- I would forget constantly. It's best for someone who wants to avoid the word "queer" to not follow me, because I'm not conducive to avoiding it.
I would also Feel Some Kinda Way about having to blacklist my own identity (which is plenty erased) for someone. This is as much a "me" thing as being triggered by the word queer is a "them" thing.
We're both fully understandable and deserving of safe spaces, but our safe spaces aren't compatible. My safety is your danger, and your safety is my danger. We are best spending our time in our spaces that are separate from one another.
Best not to follow a queer person if the word queer causes issues for you, y'know?
Just... sometimes our safe spaces are not compatible with one another, and that's okay -- that's not a reflection of anybody's moral character -- and it should be okay for us to accept that we are in separate spaces and carry on separately, no animosity.
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Okay. So... I'm explaining this for my own peace of mind, not anyone else's. My opinions are mine, and I do not represent anyone else but me. It's about the terms queer, femboy, and how sometimes slurs can turn into identifiers. This is from a transmasc perspective, though I have done my research.
Please do not read if you have anything rude to say. We all have different opinions.
I have done... a lot of research today. A lot of research on terms into the transmasculine and feminine presentations, and into slurs themselves.
And it seems that, with the term 'femboy', it is a VERY similar argument to the word 'queer.'
Queer, in general, is a debated term on the internet because of its past history as a slur. Slurs, as of recently, have started to be reclaimed in multiple areas of the community. Queer is one of them, and what we used to call the f-slur, faggot, is quickly coming behind it.
Reclamation itself is a very muddy sort of water. For some people it works, for others it doesn't. The thing about the word queer, is that some people hate the term and have a bad history with it. Others, like myself, find it as a reclaimed identity.
The term 'femboy' seems to have come around with this kind of treatment as well.
Both queer and femboy have both been used as terrible slurs against different parts of our community. But recently, we have seen a resurgence of these terms as an identity, taken literally and away from their harmful contexts. Queer has ceased being an insult in some parts of the community because some of us have changed its power, switched it to work for us.
The term femboy seems to be making the same shifts.
Where it was once used as a purely transmisogynist, pornographic term, it seems to have taken on a new life in communities of masc aligned people who... are feminine. The term itself is a shortening of "feminine boy". Some transfems like the term, some hate it. Some transmascs like the term, some hate it.
The point stands that this term seems to be taking up the stance that queer is. It's graduated from something that is purely a slur, to something that is now an identity for some and an insult for others. Some transfems do not want it used for them, or dislike the term altogether, and others seem upset that people are trying to sidestep the actual term by making new ones.
Either way, it's just as muddy a case as queer. And I use queer, understanding that I can call myself that, but not others if thye hate it.
I think, in that case, I'm just... gonna take the term femboy and use it the same way.
I won't call any transfems that unless they enjoy the term, or transmascs for that matter.
But I myself identify as one.
There is a community now surrounding the term of transmasc and masc aligned people who adore the term and use it liberally, to express their femininity without forsaking the base masculinity that comes with it. These people don't routinely call transfems this term at all. I don't do that, either. We just use it to describe the role of being a feminine boy.
And i don't think that's a crime. Some transfems have even asked us to use the term over replacement terms, from my perspective. Other terms seem to come from sites like Tiktok, and frankly,
I don't trust that shithole.
So while I won't be calling anyone else that, because I understand the history and won't use it for others unless I know the other person likes it,
I am a gay, queer, transmasc femboy. That's how I'm choosing to identify, because I've been using the term ever since quelling my decade-long gender questioning journey, and it's one of the most comfortable terms I've ever found. I've found other transmascs like myself through it. And while there is a lot of sexuality in that term, I myself am a very sexual being. And it feels right at home with me.
If anyone takes issue with that, or feels personally offended by my definition for myself,
I will no longer be budging.
#personal#long post under the cut#not really a vent but sort of started as one#I identify how I identify#and I will not apologize for that
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The thing is I really dont want to believe that white ppl are inherently racist but every i see white ppl like u justify their racism I find it difficult to say that its not true. Clearly you didn't watch or process the video if u think that the only problem with using AAVE is using it incorrectly. AAVE is not a language its a dialect and one of the main reasons that it exists is because of decades if not centuries of segregation. The reason white white ppl and black ppl from the same area might speak differently is because of legally mandated segregation that mandated that black and white ppl live separately. These policies were always at the expense of black ppl and many of them still exist today in the form of redlining and discriminatory housing policies. White ppl forced black ppl to live on the outskirts of society and they continue to do so and thats how segregation. One of the results of this is black ppl having their own dialects in different regions. Black Americans have had so much stolen from us and AAVE is one of few ways that we retain our culture and identity. I am Black and dont use AAVE i am not from somewhere that AAVE is spoken and it literally only takes the bare minimum amount of empathy to realize why that might be wrong and appropriative.
Like I'm really trying to give u the benefit of the doubt here and hope that explaining things might help you understand why using AAVE as a nonblack person is racist but at the end of the day I know that the majority of white ppl will go out of their way to be racist no matter what and that that is just the world we live in. It makes me sad and disheartens me but there often seems to be little that i can do to change it. But please prove me wrong by just taking a minute to educate yourself and use some empathy and understand why an oppressed marginalized group might not want you using a part of their culture just because you think that it sounds cool.
I can understand not wanting anything else taken from you/them, but I just don’t see how using words is stealing?
Genuinely not sure how using a word that isn’t a slur or otherwise negative or demeaning is inherently racist.
I can see how it might upset some people but that’s not the same as it doing actual harm. Like, I’m not making fun of anyone or demeaning anyone, nor am I making money or another form of profit off of someone else’s culture, so I struggle to see how it’s bad or inherently racist.
I sometimes wish I could give some racist people out there a taste of their own medicine. Oppression, because of racism or any other reason, is awful. There is no justification for any form of racism or oppression.
But again, even after this explanation, which was a bit more like a history lesson, I still can’t see how using words that aren’t bad or hurtful in and of themselves is bad.
I’m very sorry if I’m hurting you, but I don’t see how what I’m doing/saying is harmful.
Also sorry my posts are so long I’m not sure how to put it more concisely.
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