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pratchettquotes · 7 months

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"Your Ankh-Morpork soldiers aren't in a position to protect you, however."

"Sir, you are right. You could have me killed right now," said de Worde simply. "You know that. I know that. But you won't, for three reasons. The officers of Borogravia tend towards honor. Everyone says that. That's why they don't surrender. And I bleed most distressingly. And you don't need to, because everyone's interested in you! Suddenly, it's all changed!"

"Interested in us?"

"Sir, in a sense you could help a lot right now. Apparently, people back in Ankh-Morpork were amazed when...look, have you heard about what we call 'human interest,' sir?"

"No."

De Worde tried to explain. Blouse listened with his mouth open, and at the end, said:

"Have I got this right? Although many people have been killed and wounded in this wretched war, it's not been of much 'interest' to your readers? But it is now, just because of us? Because of a little skirmish in a town they've never heard of? And because of it, we're suddenly a 'plucky little country' and people are telling your newspaper that your great city should be on our side?"

"Yes, Lieutenant. We put out a second edition last night, you see."

Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

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allastoredeer · 2 months

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Do you have any headcanons about Alastor's participation in WW1? The Selective Service Act of 1917 made it mandatory for men aged 21-30 to register for military service and was later expanded to include men as young as 18, so if the stream saying that Alastor was late thirties to early forties when he died is still canon he'd have lived through that

So, I hadn't gotten to this part in my development of Alastor's backstory, but it got me thinking because, huh, how DID Alastor manage to get out of that?

Unless he just served in WW1. Which...I find oddly funny. I don't know why, but the the image of Alastor in the trenches...

But anyway, you got me curious so I looked into it. You're 100% right about the Selective Service Act of 1917 making it mandatory for men aged 21-30 to register for military service, and they even came up with different "classes" of the men who qualified, and if they exhausted one class, they'd go down to the next.

However, even with the Selective Service Act, there was still a lot of draft evasion going on. In fact, a significant amount of draft evasion happened in the South, which, as I'm sure you know, Louisiana is part of (some of it was in part of Southerners not having documentation, and thus, unable to even legally draft, which would probably give them a whole other slew of problems).

So, I was looking into how people evaded the draft. A lot of it is split up into different groups, like draft avoidance and draft resistance, with their only little list of things, but that's a lot and I don't wanna get into all of that. But my bet is on Alastor doing draft avoidance.

And there were actually quite a few interesting ones, like:

Claiming to have a mental or psychological problem (if you could find a doctor willing to certify that for you)

Student deferment, when someone is primarily in school to learn and study (or obtaining one in an effort to avoid the draft)

Deliberately failing the military intelligence tests

Professing sincere or religious ethical beliefs (join a church, avoid the draft!)

Bribery

and my personal favorite:

Being homosexual.

Because, as you know, the government can't allow the gay in the military!

And look, I'm a silly goober, so of course I immediately went to Alastor claiming to be homosexual. But the thing is, I kind of do think that is something Alastor would do for a majority of reasons.

In the 1920's, social values were evolving, and a lot of postwar "youths" began questioning traditional concepts of family, sexuality, and gender. There were "little Bohemia's" around the US, including in Manhattan and San Francisco, with communities and groups like this, and they weren't exactly unknown.

Back to Alastor, he lived in the French Quarter in New Orleans (or, at least, that's where I think he lived as a majority of mixed-raced Creole people lived there, which we know Alastor canonically is). And it just so happens, that it became the birth place of New Orleans gay community in the 1920's. There were entire gay neighborhoods, there were clubs where people dressed in the clothing of the opposite gender, they had parties and bars, and while it wasn't "the norm" to live this "lifestyle," and there was still a lot of harassment, it was still fairly normal to see. (Of course, then came what we can call the "gay panic" where government started cracking down on it, and claiming the gay community were all predators and pedophiles, and - well, you know. You know.)

But that was after/close to Alastor's death, so...

Anyway, I 100% believe that Alastor did take part and lived in communities like those. Names and labels for those things didn't exist at the time, so it's not like he knows what they're called, but homosexuals, cross-dressing, drag queens, they were normal to him. He's lived with them, partied with them, maybe even tried a few things out himself(so many headcanons, guys. So many).

This is to say, I think Alastor would 100% be comfortable claiming to be homosexual to avoid getting drafted. You've seen getting married for tax benefits, now consider becoming gay for draft evasion! I actually had a pretty fun talk about it with a friend in Discord, which only cemented it in my mind LMAO.

I have SO many headcanons around Alastor and him living in the French Quarter, in gay communities, where they challenged social norms (and we all know how he feels about challenging status quo's 😏)

But if not that, my runner up is that he totally bribed his way out of it. I don't know how he got the money, maybe he killed someone and stole their wallet, IDK, but bribery is a yes from me.

And if not THAT one, then he joined and church and claimed to have sincere religious and ethical beliefs 😇 🙏 (Yes, this is inspired by Nun Alastor, and no, I do not take constructive criticism. That's what happened guys, I was there). Besides, New Orleans was pretty Catholic, I'm sure he could find a church somewhere.

That's my take on it XD I think the one closest to Alastor's canon character would be bribery, but this is fandom, and if I say he claimed to be gay to get out of going to war, then goddammit he claimed to be gay to get out of going to war.

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ex0rin · 10 months

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Hydra, babes, you know this is something he does

#why is anyone surprised tbh #c'mon now #plot hole #rumlow not filing reports again #maybe he WAS fucking cap #(@ abby specifically)#captain america: the winter soldier #catws #ca: tws #cara gifs #steve rogers #brock rumlow #jack rollins #jasper sitwell #no this isn't my best work #but it gets the point across #cara makes gifs while drunk #new fun tag

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dailydegurechaff · 4 months

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Today's Daily Degurechaff is… >:P

#dailydegurechaff #i need more content of tanya being a little shithead taking advantage of her age to get away with shit #“you're gonna write up a disciplinary report for a soldier because she stuck her tongue out at you for giving her stupid orders?”#“shes like 12. youre so offended by a bratty child acting her age that you're gonna write her up over it?”#“why are you being petty. youre the adult here. get over yourself”#thus tanya wins twice by not only being blatantly disrespectful but also bc she gets away with it thanks to social standards

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incorrectgundamwingquotes · 5 months

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[on a mission]

OZ Soldiers: Come out!

Duo: I’m bisexual and 03 is gay!

Trowa: Damn bitch?!

OZ Soldiers: No, not like that—

#they escape but the OZ soldiers get to add that info to their reports #Une looking it over and wondering how they’re losing #duo maxwell #trowa barton #gundam wing #incorrect quotes

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iaminsideyourwalls · 11 months

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Drawing dump of OCs and AUs.

more Reactor doodles. i changed her hairstyle slightly. And finally named her, thanks to a lot of name suggestions in the discord. Van Etten used to be a family name in my family so it has some lame connection to me shut upppp. anyway. groetjes uit mann co.

Reactor & @chokulit's 10th class OC The Reporter broadcasting an unauthorized radio show about world events that may or may not be totally fabricated.

Sketches for @queensqueercourt and @beepiesheepie's Night At The Museum AU. Demoman and Soldier are scale models. Here's Demo in medieval Celtic armor, and Eyelander got a makeover too in the style of Celtic swords which are rad looking.

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shanastoryteller · 10 months

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siat ch 32 progress report: 2k

#progress report #to be clear i'm still in old fandom hell #but this is getting ridiculous so we're soldiering through

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rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 4 months

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This is barely coherent but BEHOLD! MY SHIPPING/BFF/FRENEMIS/FRENEMIES WITH BENEFITS CHART! TEMPLATE BELOW THE CUT! {Also if they have the gold line it doesn't necessarily mean they truly dislike each other, it just means they won't be banging anytime soon. Pauling and Scout have the Gold line, but they're also purple because I still feel they would be friends despite Pauling being a lesbian}

FOR ANYONE'S USE {I DID NOT MAKE THIS, PRETTY SURE IT WAS Pomupomupurin Stan Account ON TWITTER}

#Not tagging the ships because I'm scared of trying to piece that rubber band ball looking contraption into words #rubin report #team fortress two #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #miss pauling #tf2 merasmus #tf2 engineer #tf2 zhanna #tf2 administrator #tf2 saxton hale #tf2 soldier

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moodysullie · 1 year

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ㅤ

"𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭, 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟔𝐭𝐡, 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟏."

ㅤ

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lesbianralzarek · 3 months

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why does every article reporting on idf war crimes go "hamas, who started the war on october 7th with their brutal terrorist attack slaughtering innocent israeli civilians, has condemned the idf's use of-"? like, nearly verbatim every single time. we know about october 7th. we know by now. half the time, hamas isnt even relevant but they gotta find some way to sow doubt and numb any potential compassion responses. will you get fired if you show sympathy for murdered palestinian civilians without first adding a disclaimer saying its all their fault for being born in gaza? if you call "palestinians under 18" children? if you use the words "murdered" or "brutal" or "massacre" for acts that didnt occur on october 7th? if you call a spade a spade? why are israeli reports front page news without proper fact-checking but palestinian reporting is always "allegedly" even when theres video evidence? why does the idf not get the hamas treatment of reminding everyone that theyre biased before treating their words as law, like they havent been caught bold-faced lying again and again?

#soooooo fucking infuriating #'palestinians are allegedly starving but thats what hamas (who are savage terrorists in case you forgot) said as well so who knows?'#'idf soldiers are allegedly bragging about and showing pictures and videos of their war crimes on social media but #its not in english so we may never know what theyre saying. palestinian ''civilians'' are translating so whatever they say must be wrong'#'in other news. heres what ''doctors'' are referring to as a ''calendar'' but is written in arabic (terrorist language) so the idf must be #telling the truth when they say its proof they are all evil and must in some nebulous way suddenly stop living'#to be fair. the 'secret hamas names list disguised as calendar but REALLY about oct 7' shit was the target of skepticism quite early on #but it really does show how often the idf lies to justify obvious war crimes #maybe they should provide verified evidence or even just be given a bias disclaimer before printing their claims as fact???#every single fucking death toll is phrased as 'hamas-run ministry of health reports death toll of x' like?#yeah? thats their fucking government? what else do you expect?#you do understand that the healthcare portion of their government is probably more reputable #than what the phrasing of those headlines are obviously trying to imply?#i understand that bias is still possible there but its not armed combatants making shit up #its doctors who receive govt paychecks doing their best to identify the disfigured bodies not buried under rubble #youre not slick with that wording

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lotus-pear · 6 months

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hi. ive never submitted an ask 2 ur blog or anything but i Do like causing problems. ive tried to eat glowstick fluid before . it was gross , that shit burns . i thought the government was hiding cool fruit flavors in there so i tried to bust one open and digest the juice . dont be like 11 yo me unless you wanna go to the hopital ok ? ok .

thankfully , i was smart enough to wash my mouth out with water and i didnt DIGEST any of it , but still . have fun with this information lalalalalala (skips off

[whispering] you people are all fucking insane... seriously... how have some of you managed to make it this far??

#erm. anyway #do you think the red ones would taste like strawberry acid and the lime green ones would taste like citric acid. just a thought #report back when your analysis is complete soldier #lotus’s asks

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bijoumikhawal · 8 months

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only going "rape and torture are bad" when people defend Palestinians is pretty fucking scummy, speaking as someone who knows more than the average person on this site does about torture, and hates it real bad and knows a lot of people repeat torture apologia because it's deeply pervasive in modern culture

#cipher talk #Again: yes rape and torture ARE bad. Currently there is limited evidence of that occuring from Palestinian militants #During this operation #Instances may happen and may even be likely purely because this is armed conflict #How come you don't state the same when faced with Israeli opinions?#Because there are MANY. AND I MEAN MANY. Near constant reports of both from Israeli prisons and soldiers!#I get part of it is that frankly American Jews and Jews on tumblr do not see the most rabid forms of Zionism #Because I do remember being shocked when I got more active in Twitter and realized just how deeply racist and genocidal #Some zionists openly were #But I really almost want to laugh because like. A lot of yall are reformniks #The state of Israel does not respect you! It barely thinks you're Jewish! But you defend it so hard!#Claiming it's the only refuge for Jewish refugees in times of crisis like I've seen one rabbi do... completely ignoring how many jews #Are effectively declared not Jewish enough for those very purposes #A few weeks ago I was in fact darkly wondering to myself how they would be used if something happened that made Ugandan Jews into refugees #How they were not Jewish enough for the rabhinate but would surely be used in propaganda if antisemitic violence occurred #About why Israel is 'necessary' even though they were denied upfront

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stuckytoyoulikeglue · 5 months

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Thought it was time to reclaim the hashtag...

Click link if with me

#stucky #bucky barnes #winter soldier #steve rogers #captain america #stevebucky #this is NOT spam this a joke please do not report it #the link is to my ao3 because if you can't self promote when making fun of pornbots when can you?

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cath-lic · 2 months

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hello transgender christian i am transgender christian 👋 im just starting confirmation prep do you think they'll let me pick judas as a name ive got a soft spot for his apocryphal

HMMM i think you could?? if you need to be sneaky about it you could go for st jude/judas the apostle. i’m not a judas person myself but i AM a pontius person and there are definitely people who have had pontius as a name. tbh even the rules that DO exist for picking a name can be bent lol

#good luck!!! report back to me soldier #ask

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jt1674 · 18 days

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#weather report #i sing the body electric #unknown soldier #joe zawinul #wayne shorter #miroslav vitous #eric gravatt #dom um romao

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haganez · 2 months

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going to try something and be vulnerable. assuming it will go poorly but im out of ideas

#i will report back wish me well soldiers

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