trying to give myself little grace about not feeling up to do anything at all for months when my entire last year of school i felt like i wanted to throw in the towel and kms daily and its probably that all that stress has just rebounded and needed time for me to process through it and feel it at a normal rate instead of super compounded daily but it still. barely helps because time doesnt stop for anyone and im just not supposed to have time to get myself together even if its smthn that should take me a long time

once again impressed at just how quickly a new piece of media can take over my waking hours

Lookism characters with a male reader with squishable looking chests or/and butts

Lookism characters

Headcanons

Since theres a million different Lookism characters I just picked a some of my faves.

Zack Lee

Zack is the type who definitely notices and takes a peek every now and then, but he wouldn’t go out of his way to touch you unless he’s completely sure that’s what you want.

He also glares at anyone who looks at you wrong or talks lewdly about you. He will start fights if he has too, even after his training with Gongseob, that’s one of the few ways to make Zack see red. You’ll have to pull him away or tell him to stop when he gets like this, best way to do so is to hug him, maybe give him a kiss.

Vasco/Euntae Lee

Vasco takes his respect juice, so he would never touch or grab without being strictly allowed too. Honestly in the beginning he probably didn’t even realize, since he’s well… Vasco. He would realize how others leer at you though, and glare at them because staring like that makes them a bad guy.

But when he does realize he’s the type to be flushed about it, but again he would never stare to grab unless you tell him he’s allowed too. Then he’s more likely to use your chest as a pillow.

Warren Chae

Another one who devours the respect juice, you left him speechless the first time you met and he had to put great efforts into introducing himself, always scolds himself for looking at your chest or butt.

Even after you started dating, he always catches himself looking and immediately looking away with a blush, at some point your gonna have to just pull him to your chest and let him rest his head there as he goes beet red. After this he will allow himself to look, and even touch, but he’s still shy.

Vin Jin

Vin never stopped himself from looking since he’s wearing sunglasses, but he can’t see very well with them on, so he probably never realized just how squishy and touchable your chest and butt was. He will throw down with anyone who talks about you though, since you’re his partner.

Then the first time he takes his glasses off around you, he says and audible “damn…” when he sees. This results in you smacking him and he just laughs and hugs you, of course copping a feel because how can he not when you are right there.

Jake Kim

Can’t stop himself form looking every now and then, because how can he not when your so attractive to him, he enjoys when you sit on his lap too since he can support your weight with a hand under your butt, but he doesn’t grope you just hold you.

He doesn’t take anyone talking lewdly about you or catcalling you well, and because your Jakes boyfriend the rest of Big Deal wouldn’t put up with it either. Afterwards he makes sure your alright, please hug him, he wont initiate it himself but he loves it.

Sinu Han

The biggest respect juice drinker, would never look at your chest or butt because he wouldn’t want to be that type of creep, though he has to admit you are very attractive. He would at times make you wear his jacket or clothes, not to cover up but because he likes when you wear his stuff.

Is in absolute heaven if you let him rest his head on your chest or your butt, he just wraps his arms around you and lays there in his own little world. Please kiss his forehead and brush his bangs out of his face, he’s so sweet to you.

Johan Seong

So blushy and flustered, especially if you wear tight shirts or pants around him. To everyone else Johan is tough and scary, but to you he’s just sweet and so embarrassed because he has no idea how this whole dating thing works.

You’ll have to tell him its okay to look and touch, and after that he always has his hand in your back pocket or rests his head against your chest when he’s had a long day. You are his favorite pillow in the world.

Hudson Ahn

Hudson would never be the type to stare or touch you since he’s worked in places that had a lot of those creeps and he’s always looked down on them. This also results in him being protective of you when those creeps look your way.

Has made you wear his jacket more than once to cover you from prying eyes as he goes to deal with said creeps. Hudson is also the type to walk around with his hand in your back pocket or on your hip, not to cop a feel like many others would but just to be close to you.

ITS TIME FOR SCOOPS TROOP (+ MAX) THOUGHTS BABEYYYY

sometimes i forget season 4 happens less than a year after Starcourt. meaning the party had yet to experience a little 1 year trauma anniversary of the horrors from that summer and a good few new members would be so out of the loop for it

thinking about Scoops Troop getting hit particularly hard by the anniversary of kidnapping and torture (and especially because the Russian shit is distinctly different scary than the upside down horrors that plague the party year-round) and Max's conflict with Billy's death, all of those feeling from right after starcourt coming back like it happened last week instead of last year

so with the resurgence of the old pain, Scoops Troop all decide to reuse their old coping mechanisms too

meaning for the first week of July they are physically inseparable again, the four having nightly sleepovers and basically living side-by-side. Camping out at Steve's or Robin's or Dustin's or even Erica's house different nights of the week (Steve and Robin asking the week off from work, claiming a family vacation if they can't trust their manager with the truth that its a PTSD Extravaganza)

Max joining in often to avoid being alone with her thoughts (she also hangs out with the rest of the party splitting her time up pretty evenly but ofc Scoops Troop is the ideal choice for those odd hours of the night) and all 5 (or 6, ofc Lucas joins too if they're at the Sinclair's) have fun distracting themselves most of the week with whatever they need. Silly kids movies and board games and card games, playing with Erica's dolls and discussing MLP, looking at all Dustin's science projects and playing with Tews, going through Robin's instrument collection and language books, Steve trying to teach everyone basketball or little games like horse (Lucas joins too ofc, Max watches mostly and is deemed the 'judge' of if something 'counts' aka Dustin and Erica keep barely missing and want credit for almost getting a shot)

but just like last year, distractions only last so long. every day they're doing something harmless and someone at some point breaks. maybe they let themselves space out and think a little too long, sometimes theres a reminder nobody could've avoided, sometimes they just went a little too long without acknowledging it. either way they all work with it no matter who it is or whats bothering them.

Steve and Dustin usually need to sit with whatever emotion broken them, let themselves feel after spending so much time keeping it together for the people around them. Steve needs to sit and cry, if he's around people he needs to feel like theres no rush to be better again, like he has all the time in the world to sit and cry and be useless. Dustin needs a cry with reassurance, that he did his best in a situation he had very little control over and having him there helped everyone so much. This means Steve's crys are pretty quiet, filled with hugs and soft silence that lets time slip away, while Dustin's crys have a soundtrack of gentle words with them

Robin also needs spoken reassurance. She spirals and catastrophizes very easily and needs to work through stuff out-loud without being allowed to work herself into a self-deprecating frenzy. Steve is used to working that balance of letting her let things out without getting out of hand, and Dustin and Erica are great at giving logical solutions whenever she starts catastrophizing

Erica is a middle ground between the two. She needs to sit and feel her emotions because she constantly feels she has a reputation to maintain, and she needs to work things out out-loud like Robin but doesn't catastrophize as easily. The hard part for her is getting support without pity, which has a learning curve but eventually Scoops Troop has it down and it helps her a lot having a guaranteed safety net for her more vulnerable moments

Max doesn't break around them nearly as often, partially because she's not spending all her time with the group but mostly because she grew up having to keep that stuff in for so long she still struggles being seen while vulnerable, and having open emotions is extra difficult when the person you're sad about is also responsible for your struggles being openly vulnerable.

when she does break, she needs the control over those moments. she needs to be able to control whos seeing and hearing her, how long she cries and how hard, how much she tells and who she's talking to. she prefers to be alone or with only one person with her, ideally Lucas because they have the most familiarity and trust built up. She'll either find a room to leave to or everyone will move to a different room for the time, and Lucas sits with her and lets her let everything out at her own pace. When Lucas isn't there and can't be, she'll pick someone else to sit with her, usually Robin because she's pretty easy to read and Max knows shes good at sitting and listening with Steve when he's breaking. Sometimes she'll get Steve if she needs reassurance, someone who'll know what to say to bring her out of it.

and sometimes multiple people break at once. Steve and Robin's trauma have similar triggers so often times its the two of them breaking and clinging to each other like the earth beneath them will crumble if they let go. Robin usually holds onto Steve like a little teddy bear, keeping him close so she can protect him, and Steve loves how she'll hold him and makes him feel safe. Dustin and Erica help talk Robin through her breakdown while she's holding onto Steve.

Dustin and Erica will sometimes break if they loose sight of Steve and Robin for a moment, prompting a more-talk-less-cling-and-sob pile with Robin and Steve going back and forth helping talk them through it and letting them cry it out

And if everyone breaks? chaos, at least from an outside perspective. lots of hugging and crying with the talkers working through their shit together and reassuring the others. from the outside it'd almost be comical if it weren't for the circumstances causing it

It all becomes an unspoken agreement, taking less than a day for Scoops Troop to get on the same page (after all, they're treating it basically like post-Starcourt part 2) and about a day and a half for Max to join them. Even as the emotions come back full swing, its a lot easier to deal with because of the general understanding from everyone. Their parents realize its the anniversary of The Fire and are better equipped to support their kids however they need (even if it means letting them have sleepovers all week, they learned the first time that it helps a lot and the intensity of it will pass). The Party also understands whats going on (they all have their own trauma anniversaries that hit harder like the end of November for Mike and the Byers) and being supportive too, like inviting Scoops Troop and Max to any get-togethers instead of just Dustin (so he doesn't have to awkwardly ask if they can come too) and in general inviting Max a lot so she always has the option to not be alone.

Hellfire though? and the newest party members (Eddie, Vickie, Argyle, maybe Chrissy too because i love her)? they're Lost™ at first.

Vickie is the first to kinda grasp whats going on, being closest to Robin (and Steve by extension dtjsjysj) she was hanging out with her when Robin realized she needed to be around all of Scoops Troop again to be able to calm the panic and she joined their first sleepover

Eddie and Chrissy next (assuming she joined Hellfire, which she so would) who noticed the Upside Down Trauma a mile away and just had to piece together the reason this time ("no its not back, its just the third and fourth marks a year since the Starcourt 'mall fire'- yeah no not really a fire. a lot worse actually')

Hellfire never really gets the full explanation of why Steve, Robin and Erica all also need to attend this weeks session specifically or why Gareth still isn't allowed to do a Russian accent for his Chaotic Neutral Halfling rouge Geörgov the Gruesome. Eddie gives him the most intense stink eye if he so much as attempts an accent close to it and when asked he just insists and throws in a new excuse every time thats so wild its comical and almost distracts from the fact that he's refusing to tell them

and once they actually witness Scoops Troop together (especially Steve and Robin 'what do you mean they're not dating? not even like crushes? nothing?) they just kinda have to accept that they're Just Like That Sometimes with the Party awkwardly deflecting and Eddie being amusingly cryptic

and Argyle is the last one to know, entirely because he just assumed they were close like that entirely unrelated to trauma. And everyone assumed he knew based on how chill he was. Until he asked what a Starcourt was, wondering if it was a new Star Wars thing he missed

Just Scoops Troop bonding like stray cats that should not be seperated. They've seen so many horrors at this point they definitely give No Fucks about how weird they look as long as the rest of their group doesn't have a problem

Class 1-b and random videogames they like <3

Awase - mario cart, something about hitting his friends with red shells and stealing first place last second really makes his day <3

Sen - he doesn't play video games by himself a lot but him and the rest of the common sense kings have game nights where he is either so good that its scary or so bad that its laughable... worse part is no one knows which it will be that day.

Kamakiri - any fps game really. Halo, cod, fortnite, as long as he gets to cuss out 12 year olds in the lobby hes happy.

Kuroiro - gothic horror games that dont rely on jump scares to scare you, so like Little Nightmares and games like that.

Kendo - she likes a mixture of different types but mostly open world and cozy games. She mostly lets game osts run in the background while she does other stuff.

Kodai - splatoon. Specifically the story mode and salmon run. She used to play ranked and turf wars but she got too good at it so she stopped lmao. Seriously though she is scary good at this game and this game only.

Komori - farming sims. Specifically ones like stardew valley or sunhaven. She will stay up til ungodly hours and just be like "i need these fucking turnips to grow damnit.."

Shiozaki - simple moble games like flappy bird or crossy road, other than that she doesn't really play video games

Shishida - grandpa mindset so he doesn't know what a video game is, loves playing board games with his friends though

Shoda - i dont think he plays a lot of videogames but he is strangely good at multi-player games, shoda wins the class mario cart tournaments every time and he doesn't even know how to drift

Pony - Tomadachi pet games (idk if thats what they are called lol) where its just a little pocket pet that you have to keep alive, she will get stressed if she forgets to feed it and its actually adorable <3

Tsubaraba - LOZ:Tears Of The Kingdom

Nothing more needs to he said...

Tetsutetsu - save the princess type games because its manly to help those in need of saving. (He also has over 5000 hours in hello kitty island adventure)

Tokage - idk why but I feel like she has hundreds of games no one has ever heard of. She only has like 5 or 6 hours in most of them but theres one shitty as game she lets rot in the corner thats her favorite. How tf do you have 20000 hours in 'block game HD'

Manga - Genshin Impact. He downloaded it as a meme at first but then he got invested in the storyline and characters backstorys. Definitely found himself crying at 3am because of the inazumas mushrooms backstory (they do be dead kids tho)

Honenuki - I dont think he plays a lot of videogames but when he does, he sucks. Idc how many hours he has in whatever game he will find a way to lose every time. Its kinda sad to watch honestly. T-T

Bondo - those games where you start off with boxes full of shit and you have to organize it in the room or you have to organize the water by color. Stuff like that

Monoma - classic save the princess type games. Mario, Loz, ect. He needs to feed his savior/ superiority complex and these games do it quickly

Reiko - horror games that dont look like horror games. Like they start off all pastel and cute then over time it gets darker and darker. Like omori.

Rin - he only plays videogames with people. (So the common sense kings game nights and class mario cart tournaments) but he does play solitair and sun haven rarely. Also if pony for some reason cant take care of her virtual pets today she gives them to rin because hes the best virtual pet sitter. <3

Idk why but for some of the class on this I struggled so badly </3 I still like how most of it came out tho.

media roundup jan 2024

hey whats up!!! its me again!!! happy valentines day :3 finally caught up to patch. and by patch i mean "talking about things that i remember reading." finally got around to reading/playing a bunch of things that were really hyped up!! that ive been really looking forward to :3 yippee also, one of my new years resolutions was to play all of umineko? which according to most people ive seen, does in fact take An Entire Year due to being 1. fully voice acted 2. a little over 1 million words. so uh, please look forward to that.

books:

camp damascus by chuck tingle: horror ya. a girl on the cusp of adulthood belongs to a strict and isolated christian sect, living in the town with the us' most famous conversion camp. things get weird quickly.um ok i was really hyped about this! its the first chuck tingle thing that ive actually read (lol) but ive been following his stuff for a while. its an interesting look into what its like to be uh, really christian and also (SPOILERS) gay, but the whole time i was like man i wish i was playing [we know the devil]. which is a really good game please play wktd :3 there were some really cool and chilling body horror parts!! which i liked a lot!! but overall it was more inspiring (?) than scary, which wasnt really what i was looking for personally

the way spring arrives and other stories: translated chinese scifi/fantasy anthology, written and translated by a team of women + nb writers. really solid!!! took me a while to get through, but theres such a wonderful variety of stories here--some are creepy, some are heartwarming, some are silly, some are elegant. i particularly enjoyed some of the essays about translation itself, as well as the titular stories and A Brief History of Beinakan Disasters as Told in a Sinitic Language. definitely check it out!!

spark joy by marie kondo: an appendix of sorts to marie kondos super big book the life changing magic of tidying up, with a couple more practical tips and some anecdotes. ok to get kinda personal, konmari stuff appeals to me bc i grew up surrounded by detritus. from where i sit in my childhood bedroom, i can see a stack of floppy disks, old checkbooks, and a copy of The Lost Treasures of Infocom--a game from 1991. almost none of it is ever touched. so the idea of having a space full of only joyful things is really appealing.. honestly i think the best bit of advice from the book was that if you have things that are necessary but dont necessarily elicit joy (eg screwdrivers, coffee makers, whatever) that you try and take a bit to appreciate/praise those items and what they do for you? and they may become more beloved :3 anyways probably not worth reading unless youre already into the whole konmari thing

ninefox gambit by yoon ha lee: space opera. kel cheris, a freshly promoted general, has been sent to suppress a rebellion lodged in a fortress. but her greatest enemy is also her greatest asset: the implanted consciousness of the prodigy traitor-general, shuos jedao. famous for winning impossible battles--and infamous for killing his entire fleet. its kind of in a trio of "lesbian sff about empires and stuff" with machineries of empire and traitor baru cormorant. well for one i really liked it. i do have a lot of hours in um games like civ 5 and starcraft but i usually dont like Reading books about military stuff. this is obstacle number 1. obstacle number 2 is that ninefox gambit has some really intricate worldbuilding, and unlike some other lesbian bodysharing scifi novels out there, our protagonist is not a newcomer. you dont get the assist of getting to learn about the world as the same time as her. but the thing is that ninefox gambit makes you Want to pick apart everything thats going on and get into it, and once you have a good idea of all the factions and stereotypes and tensions, etc it feels really rewarding :3 and the world is grounded in how you get to see what feels like every single level of this one infiltration/siege, from the general at the top to the infantry at the bottom even to the servant robots who clean! yay robots :3 when youre jumping to someone completely different, doing something totally unrelated, its pretty easy for that to be… super jarring? (hi sanderson) but it was not that <3 although it took a bit for me to get it, i also liked the intermittent correspondence that we get to see from the enemy side as well. how humanizing! it also balances a large cast of characters very well. characters with bit parts still feel memorable to the extent they need to be? idk how to say that correctly. obviously between cheris and jedao, jedao has the upper hand conversationally pretty much always but they have a good dynamic and its cool to see her strengths come through in other ways i think one of its strengths/weaknesses is that its very focused on this One siege in One point in time. i would love to hear about the anden in the sequels for example. also like does everyone have to be in a section or are there real (non conquered) civilians. how do yall grow food. also yeah sorry democracy beign the ultimate heresy made me laugh ninefox gambit is kind of a tricky read; its probably not a good idea to try reading without a stretch of uninterrupted time + brain energy but i liked it 👍 i thought it was good 👍

raven strategem by yoon ha lee: sequel to ninefox gambit! yoon ha lees ability to balance lots of different povs works really well for this book :3 it really ratchets up the tension! i also really liked seeing all of the exotics lol (magic wepaons that do crazy stuff). unfortunately the tension didnt pay off in a way that was really satisfying to me personally, however.. it didnt really help that i didnt like one of the main pov characters (brezan.) the first book is still worth reading though as a standalone!

comics/manga:

mitsuya sensei no keikakuteiki na edzuke: m/m series about a cooking writer (older man) and his editor. ok i talked about this last time but im a big fan of romance with older people in it. the baggage comes preattached!! also the protag in this kinda looks really similar to shinji from kamen rider ryuki?? has some Extremely Delicious looking food art, as well as some really nice like. food + desire + eroticism type thing going on. (i started reading it bc tumblr user stella obstinaterixatrix was talking about it as an example of non explicit eroticism!) yay i love food manga :]

sonna me de mitekure: aka look at me with those eyes. m/m romcom that parodies a lot of common BL tropes (overbearing prince of the school falls in love with some rando!) but also has a lot of heart :3 definitely only worth reading if youre like. already sort of in the soup of romance manga though lol

ouji-chan no sukina hito: suuuper cute f/f oneshot about baby prince idolization

catch you catch me: another cute f/f oneshot :3

botticelli drawings exhibit: ok i just thought this was neat. it was an exhibit about some of the preliminary sketches that were made for some of botticellis famous pieces (he was a famous painter during the florentine renaissance in italy) i like how you got to learn more about how the Workshop Style worked like how a lot of paintings were actually made by lots and lots of apprentices.. also how botticelli apparently got really into this one super duper intense monk type guy and started making some kinda weird shit

movies/tv shows:

pokemon concierge: lighthearted family show about a stressed office lady who quits her job to work at a pokemon hotel. super cute!! very short!! you can watch it with your parents or kids or whatever its really not that deep but the stop motion was just soooo cute. slightly concerning in like idk the level of 'escapism from office culture' but you know how it is

dear ex: slice of life/drama? taiwanese movie. after his father's sudden death, song chengxi and his mother meet his fathers hidden male lover. dudee this movie is so fucking pretty and so sad. i almost cried and blew up and died. all 3 main parts of the cast are such good actors and the way it does grief and like the seamless sliding between memory and the present AUGH. so good

sousou no frieren anime: also known as frieren of the funerals! a slice of life/fantasy anime about what happens after you save the world. frieren is a long-lived elf who saved the world with her companions--but many decades afterwards, she still wanders the world the same as ever. bro this show is so freaking gorgeous and well made. it really makes me wish going outside was real. has a really nice sense of melancholy too.. its just a really solid adaptation :3

dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon anime: cooking/slice of life/adventure anime set in a dnd-like setting that digs into a lot of fantasy worldbuilding. mainly about: can you eat the monsters!!!! i finished the manga a couple months ago so i was really hyped (and a little bit nervous) about this anime but studio trigger is doing a really good job!! its just a really good show ok please watch it

marry my dead body: straight police guy gets ghost-married to a dead man, and then is tasked with solving his murder. um ok so i watched this bc i misread neils text and thought it was by the same director as dear ex. spoilers this is very much not true lmfao its more lighthearted with a side of feelings about death and stuff. very silly! i think the gulf of expectation was so wide that i couldnt enjoy it that much.. also cops. why. some of the jokes didnt really hit for me esp the whole like ahhhh slag straight guy doesnt understand anything type thing? but its like not a bad light movie

percy jackson and the olympians: remake of the first percy jackson book. yeah this was fine i watched it with my mom while playing solitaire the whole time. the actors are very charming and the show is solid, but i think it really deserved to be like. a 20-episode series with 20 minute episodes, or something like that. like its oestensibly for kids but its Really trying to make that nostalgia cash grab so it exists in a slightly uncomfortable middle (writing is very basic and friendship-y which isnt necessarily bad but its not like That Deep, but also who is making a kids show 40 MINUTES LONG). anyways i think a longer pacing like that would have given more time for filler and replicating the road-trippy vibe that the original books had. its still solid though!

games:

umineko episode 1: its the classic murder mystery setup: a wealthy man on his deathbed still hasnt resolved the issue of his inheritance. he, his hateful children, and their own children are cut off from the world on a remote island. but the man still has unsettled debts….and something is deeply wrong on the island of rokkenjima 🤯ok umineko is infamous for 1. having fans who wont shut up about it 2. something something metatextual? 3. a very high bar for entry, featuring near-required modding, several hours of expository setup, and the fact that. well. its a visual novel. that aside, i enjoyed the first episode way more than i thought i would :3 the uroshimiya family is so rich and alive and shitty it felt like i was watching succession again lmfao. battler is a very endearing (if slightly stupid) main character, and there are some really strong characters laid down that make you excited to get into All That in the future. plus, once i got to the murder part it was genuinely so hair-raising? theres some phenomenal voice acting.. the scene with maria was so memorable i thought i was going to dream about it. also i loooove beatrice <3 anyways i would recommend but its not for the faint of heart. 99% of umineko-ers stop reading right before the love lets them see it, and so on.

off game: wow im so happy to have finally beat off. i mean. hey whats up. off is a weird, abstract game about a 4th-wall breaking "Batter" whos self proclaimed goal is to purify the world. its often viewed as a spiritual predecessor to games like undertale :3 …actually, i played off a long time ago and then got stuck/intimidated by the very last set of puzzles so i Just Now gave up on actually finishing and just watched a letsplay lol. honestly one thing that ive figured out over time is that actually?? im really not that much of a fan of pokemon-style rpgs like this 0_0 i mean, the gameplay is just. not that fun? and the typical random encounter type thing is just not that nice. i think this is something that a lot of jrpgs/rpgs have figured out recently, but off is an older game without those QOL improvements lol. (also random encounter is easier to code probably) anyways!! the writing in off is so compelling…its so weird in a way that invites you to pick apart that weirdness, but also makes you feel like some mysteries might remain unresolved forever. its a video game that actually Has Writing In It. its one of those (free!) indie classics thats definitely worth checking out. also i love drawing the judge and valerie. weird cats for the win ok now im just going to talk about my theories about the game. so we know that the only real humans in the world are sugar, zacharie and the baby. however, the queen and the batter are parental figures for the baby. the wardens of each of the levels were created for the baby as it (in the absence of its parents?) longed for companionship, but they warped over time. whats healthy becomes sick and whats sickening becomes necessary etc. possibly mimicking how the baby, sick and alone in the hospital, also warped over time? becoming warped caricaturizes the babys creations and makes them cruel and so the batter becomes the ultimate heroic figure, who purges whats evil and rotten. but if it lives where i live then i guess the whole world has to go?? well idk

music:

take my hand by zerobaseone: ok whenever i listen to this imlike this is one of gods perfect songs. the production is like chefs kiss and theres just some really beautiful sounds in here? its so warmly dreamy and delicate feeling.. just like first loves… or whatever lmfao the fluttering hook-y thing at the beginning is just too good i ended up looking up a bunch of the producers. also big pop is nice bc you can tell they mixed it so it sounds good in a car OR in headphones lmfao

1,000,000 by nine inch nails: i forgot what genre nin is supposed to be ok this song came up when i was playing hifi rush (rhythm based action game!! so cool so stylish) and me and neil were like NINE INCH NAILS?! it was like that one comic you know. anyways i like this song its very adrenaline feeling. i looked up the real lyrics recently but to ME its about trying to escape emptiness thru adrenaline and danger and sex and stuff :P not that i do that but its still a fun song!! yippee

dark red by steve lacy: ok i found this song bc of a tumblr post i did not know he was the "i wish i knew" guy lmfao. honestly if people only knew like a 5 second songbite from my works id be so mad. but anyways its progressive rnb apparently? i just like this song :3 when you are kind of pathetic but basically chill with it but what if.

anyways if youre reading this: hi!!! ive been spending a lot of time recently doing the hard fisher quests in final fantasy 14. guys never do beast of brewers beacon ok the school year is just starting up but having to wake up early is kind of doing a number on me…… other than that i actually totally have my shit together! yay :3 if you read to the end (or even skimmed) thanks <3

SEASON FINALE TRIVIA !!!!!! this includes 23 and 24. i hope youre having fun :)

- yakko does the intro and says "welcome to just rolled with it the show after the show where we talk about how awesome i am :)" and hes right for that

- JUST GENERALLY PRAISING YAKKO FOR HIS PERFORMANCE AS ASHE. grizzly goes "i honestly forgot you were a guest player i just want you to stay here forever now"

- bizly and yakko the night before they recorded this episode were up late thinking about just . goofy scary things for the trickster to do. like what if the floor is lava but REAL. what if his ARMS GOT LONG. shit like that

- BIZLY WAS GETTING EMOTIONAL DURING THE SCENE RIGHT BEFORE ASHE FULLY TURNS INTO THE TRICKSTER. which is HUGE because its a running joke in riptide that bizly never gets emotional during character moments and grizzly is like. the big crybaby about it. polar opposites of the getting emotionally immersed in roleplay spectrum

- grizzly: "i know out of character we had to leave ashe here because it works for the story and also youre a guest and cant stay forever but in character, dakota would NEVER do that willingly. if circumstances were just a little different i think william and vyncent wouldve had to physically drag him out of there" :(

- OVERLORD WAS NOT ORIGINALLY AN ALLIGATOR. HE WAS NOT AN ALLIGATOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE HE WAS REVEALED . OVERLORD BECAME AN ALLIGATOR THE MOMENT BIZLY SAID ".... i gotta do it"

- yakko: i kinda feel bad that i just one punch deleted the big supervillain thats been hyped up for the whole season

grizzly: no, look. we've been joking for like 5 episodes now about how our characters could never beat an alligator. and we were right!

- "it took a god to beat a gator" "i feel like youd see that on the front of a church in florida" "whats a king to a god. whats a god to a gator"

- condi: "hey! so the beginning of the episode! pretty wacky! remember when we fought whirlwind?"

charlie: "no. no i dont."

- grizzly: "i almost find myself sympathizing with the villains sometimes because we're just so annoying"

yakko: "every villain we've gone up against is just thinking 'man, these kids are LOSERS'"

- grizzly: "i genuinely never want to speak to mark again"

charlie: "if he breaks out of prison i will go to every length to put him back in. i hate him. i hate him so much" THIS WAS LITERALLT UNPROMPTED?!?!?!?!! WHY DO THEY HATE HIM SO MUCH. FREE MY MAN !!!!!!!!!

- when they first got into the room, charlie condi and yakko thought thetubes were gonna open and 4 regular gators were gonna come out to fight them. grizzly thought it was gonna be wavelength betraying them with the other lieutenants (AGAIN. WHY ALL THE MARK WINTERS HATE. I DONT UNDERSTAND)

- QUICK BACKSTORY RECAP BY GRIZZLY. basically verbatim to how hes saying it.

vyncent: is from another world. looked up to an adventuring party. (condi: the important part was the whole "monsters that dont look like monsters" thing)

william: theres a bunch of ghosts spirits monsters in deadwood and he and his friends were investigating them until one day he followed a wisp into a forest and fell down a hole and died and came back as a wisp and now all the monsters and ghouls are out to get him so he had to leave deadwood so his friends and family wouldnt be in danger (charlie: well when you put it like that it sounds so much lamer)

ashe: had a trickster book and the trickster killed his mom. idk why he thought that was a good idea. actually, when you got possessed by the trickster the first time, howd you get him back in the book? (bizly: theres more to that story you guys havent learned yet so im not gonna just tell you. you have to figure that stuff out in character)

- dakota: (from charlie this time) uhh your parents died and you take risks and jump off things and then one day a girl jumped off a thing with you and you grabbed her but then also died like william wisp because we like falling off of things and getting superpowers apparently so you fell off something and got superpowers and then you left the hospital before they coukd tell you anything and you ran into the woods where you met a strange old man that taught you how to fight stuff i guess (grizzly: i never actually wrote what happened to the girl in my backstory. bizly: because you wouldnt KNOW)

- dakota adrenaline junkie........ (grizzly: its worse now because he has powers and he can do all the things he used to and MORE. and SURVIVE)

- they all believe tide was mind controlled from the time he went to talk to whirlwind by himself after they beat him. bizly says he misspoke and described some things wrong, tide wasnt actually mind controlled until they were actually in the building. he kept rolling saves for him and every time he just rolled like garbage so he never broke out of it

- its a 2/3 split on how theyre planning to react to the heroes. vyncent and william are bitter about it because neither of them are used to living in a place with a lot of heroes so they dont know how all of this is supposed to work. theyre angry that the heroes never showed up when they needed them and the one time they actually do come its just MINUTES too late after their friend had to basically sacrifice himself to save them instead. dakota, who grew up in and around the city basically worshipping superheroes, doesnt understand why theyd be so angry.

- the reason overlord knew they were coming is because the gunman from the whirlwind fight got away. he instantly came back to overlord and told him to expect pd soon because they beat whirlwind

AWESOME TRIVIA FOR THESE!!!!! holy shit... trickster the floor is lava but real ^_^ horrifying thanks!!

ALSO REAL. THIS IS YAKKOS WORLD WERE JUST LIVING IN IT!!! genuinely probably i would have figured out the setup in 24 so much quicker if i hadn't just. Forgot ashe was a guest. i was like yeah man four of them. he just lives here now. i wonder what theyre setting up for because i dont think some big setup for one of the main pcs 2 have an insane sacrificial moment would happen!! ^_^;

I LOVE THE WIWI STUFF. fucked up x files gravity falls ass hybrid. head in hands. ALL of the backstory stuff actually esp. vyncents which is still the vaguest shit ever. shaking himmmmmm why is there an adventuring party in ur brain !!!!! head in hands.

Lime for the poll runners’ ask game?

Lime -> participant(s) you’re rooting for the most?

i don't want to sway the votes so i won't do any propaganda for them after the poll starts BUT it's Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi from Iron Widow i just love the way their relationship develops so much and as someone whos unable to actually pick up a book and focus on it, the fact that i read iron widow in 4 days is amazing im still proud of that as silly as it is

yknow what ill use this as an opportunity to ramble about them askdgakdjk spoilers ahead but ill try to keep the major stuff out

for context the book has pacific rim style mechas, but instead of being drift compatible or whatever its usually a male pilot and his concubine whose life force he usually drains in order to pilot the thing, but theres a LOT of propaganda that makes girls want to be concubines, or families might wanna send their daughters for the money. im simplifying it a LOT especially cause theres more info u only learn later on as zetian herself finds out but anyway

at the start of the book zetian and yizhi are besties who obviously have feelings for each other. zetian is poor while hes very rich so their friendship is kind of a secret and they meet in the woods which i think is cute, point is its p clear zetian tries to mantain a distance, not allowing herself to admit her feelings. for reasons i wont say zetian decided to become a concubine to one of the like bigger more badass guys even if she doesnt believe the propaganda and knows she might die, she only tells yizhi this the day before

he shows up at her house the next day begging her family to let him marry her?????? which is sweet because he wants to protect her but that isnt gonna work bestie sorry she's a woman w a mission

so anyway she goes to the concubine thing and shes surprisingly powerful "for a girl" which yeah thats a super common trope but shes so much more than just the strong protagonist. shes extremely powerful in every sense of the word imo and i love her so much and i wish the world hadnt been so cruel that she had to become so strong. but anyway the guy she wants to pilot w picks her. MAJOR SPOILER they have to pilot the mecha on day 1 cause they're under attack and uhhh she kills him lol lmao she drains her life force instead which supposedly is UNHEARD OF

so they cant just kill her off cause that'd look bad instead they send her to be the concubine of the strongest guy (all of his concubines die after 1 fight) and thats Li Shimin my beloved my little meow meow hes looked down on and kinda treated like an animal cause hes a criminal and the only reason he gets to be a pilot is his powerful qi. anyway shes forced to live w him and turns out hes just a lil guy. like hes very big and scary looking but hes just a tired man pls he needs a break. she fucking survived piloting w him which nobody expected. so now theres a lotta stuff going on i wont get into but some ppl arent happy w this duo cause they're both very powerful and not exactly happy to serve. and Shimin has a drink problem.

IN ENTERS GAO YIZHI hes back babey!!! and he decides to help shimin w his alcoholism. its funny cause when they first meet his crush on li shimin is so fucking obvious zetian is like "huh i always suspected he liked guys too" but li shimin is just pissed cause this is the guy who wants to make him stop drinking

theres like 1 moment of jealousy that i can remember when li shimin realizes zetian and yizhi have a thing going on but its settled very quickly and they all kiss.

back to the drift compatible thing: at one point in the final battle zetian and shimin need more power and yizhi literally lends them his qi (its extremely rare for a third person to help) and its beautiful and they are so in love and i cant wait for the sequel

idk if any of that is coherent i kinda stopped thinking and just typed sorry for rambling on ur ask im just very passionate about them i love them so much i love iron widow so much i love xiran jay zhao so much (the writer) (you might know them from the live action mulan analysis video that went viral back when that movie came out) (check out their yt channel)

Hey Harmie! <:) I was thinking and I wanted to ask, since y9u talk a little bit about the curious things you watch on here, what kind of movies/shows/various media do you like and/or would recommend? The only thing that I ask is for warnings on the stuff that you recommend in case they're on the more upsetting side ( ex: heavily gorey/dealing with heavily upsetting themes [ex: suicide])-

I'm Just Gonna Post a General Array of Stuff With No Theme or Coherency So Pick N Choose if You Want :]. I'll Try n CW Everything I Remember But if Something Sounds Esp Troubling Check It On Does the Dog Die

TOSSING EVERYTHING UNDER A READMORE SO I DON'T CLOG THE FUCKIN... Dash

It's Such a Beautiful Day (Upsetting Depiction of Mental Health, Could Possible Trigger Someone Whos Psychotic, Idk Watch This One When You're in a Good Spot)- An Animated Film By Don Hertzfeldt About a Man Named Bill and His Mental Decline

Tatami Galaxy - A Charming 13ish Episode Anime About a College Student Musing About the Variety of Ways He Could Achieve His "Rose Coloured Campus Life". Its Sorta an Anthology Where Every Episode is a Different Version of the Same Events Its Fun.

Funny Games (Extreme Violence, Home Invasion, Child Death) - This Movie is One of My All Time Favorites, Theres a 1997 and a 2007 Version, They're Both the Same Movie though Just With Different Actors and Languages So Pick if Youre In a Subtitle Mood or Not. DEFINITELY Check Doesthedogdie for This One If Youre Sensitive, Theres Something I'm 100% Forgetting

Melancholia (Death, Grief, Big Scary Planet) - Lars Von Trier Kinda Sucks But This Movie is His Best. It's About Two Sisters Struggling to Live Together After One Has an Episode and Also a Huge Planet is Going to Smash Directly Into Earth. A Really Strong Emotional Story.

Dogville (Lots of Tasteless Sexual Assault, Death, Extreme Classism) - Not Actually Sure If I'm Recommending This or Not I Just Think Its Important Sometimes to Watch a Very Artfully Made Movie That Fucking Sucks (I Like This Movie Also So Egg on My Face). Lars Von Trier is the Worst.

Ingrid Goes West (Suicide, Stalking) - One of the More Conventional Movies on Here, Ingrid Goes West is About a Woman Moving to California to Insert Herself Into the Life of an Influencer She's Obsessed With

Swing Girls - DELIGHTFUL Japanese Film About School Girls Starting an American Style Jazz Band. Feel Good Stuff All Around in This One.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (Grooming, Mental Decline) - One of the Most Accurate Depictions of Growing Up Online, This Movie is About a Teenager Named Casey Participating in an ARG.

Wasteland (Cults, Mental Decline) - This One is Free on Youtube, It is an Anthology About a Bunch of People Living In a Valley and The Lives They Lead. Its Hard to Explain This One But the Last Segment, the Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascensia, is One of the Most Lasting Things Ive Ever Seen

Drop-Out Comic (Suicide, Gender Dysphoria, Drug Use, Abuse) - A Free-to-Read Webcomic About Two Girlfriends Driving to the Grand Canyon to Kill Themselves. I'm Gonna Recc This One the Hardest Its Phenomenal, Though Chunks are Currently Down/Being Rewritten But Those Don't Change the Story Much

Sooo Yeah I Hope You Have Fun :] Don't Feel Like You Do or Dont Have to Watch Any of This I Was Just Kinda Spitballing, Sorry if This is a Downer List I Was Typing This Up and Halfway Thru Realized I Had 2.5 Feel Good Picks

Trying to channel a little bit of self love and positivity.

Fighting through my emotions of isolating myself, feeling mentally unstable and trying to normalize my day to day life style.

The holidays are here and aunt Mary is in town. I thought it would make me feel better.... It has... But it obviously isn't changing my entire mental state and what goes on in my life everyday surrounding the holidays. I forget that she is a lot more active than I am. Which is what I need, but I still feel so pointless.

Schizophrenia took over my life and I suffer from the karma of it every day. Is it even called karma?! I guess it was a little out of my control. I'm bringing this up because while having the company of my aunt and having her treat me to some stuff, I still am haunted by the memories of who I was and what had been going on in my life prior to receiving help from medications and family. I can't believe I chose to interact with so many people. It traumtizes me to remember all of those times. I was so unwell. UGH!

It's hard chugging along.... I wish it was easier to put myself out there. Even when browsing through volunteer opportunities, I clam up a bit. I use to go out every weekend and have a social life prior to COVID, but the pandemic really hurt my mental well being. As it did with so many other people. I feel like such a wonderful part of me was hurt. Not to mention that I was running around high off of delusions stemming from hearing voices that only existed in my head. THANK GOD FOR MY MEDS.

I've found that I get really overwhelmed thinking about other people and I need to focus on myself. I am so different from those around me and what I experience/experienced/had going on and have going on is so different from what other people in my world see and hear in their physical body. I think one of the scariest things in the world to think of is how dependent I am on these meds. It took an arm and a leg to finally accept help and now that I am here, I have grown soooo attached to my mom and my safety nets. It's apart of why it's so hard for me to get out. So here I am.... writing about it to try and take the edge off a little bit.

I hope that soon this chapter of my life will be in the past as I continue to grow healthier and happier. I want to form new hobbies and interests. Meet kind and gentle hearted people. I missed group therapy yesterday..... Theres another group today, but it has a different group leader and I am a little hesitant to go.... Maybe it would be beneficial....

Hi, my name is Sophie and I hear voices. I use to feel like my body was controlled by them and as soon as I started my meds.... it stopped..... and OY VEY did it control every day of my life. My opinions.... my personality.... Now that I dont hear voices as often, I am realizing how much of my day to day choices revolved around them.... and it's scary. I wish I had more friends that I felt understood that about me.... I have such wonderful friends but I think I have a hard time wanting to hang out with them because there is a part of me who wants someone to talk about this with.... but finding the right words can be so difficult. Honestly.... typing all of this out is helping but it doesnt instantly give me job or an occupation of some sort. I need more help but I am not sure where to look for it or how to ask for it.... so until then, I still follow my mom around and remember the socialite I use to be until I essentially sabotaged myself. I wish I could erase so many things that happened. WHYYYYY. UGHHH.

This is my safe place.

I think I'm done venting here for now....

H. i hate fall so much. its weird cuz its my favorite season, halloween is coming up, its literally my birthday next week, the weather is cooling down. but for whatever reason fall is Horrible for my PTSD and i start getting a lot more flashbacks around this time of year and reoccuring nightmares come back and i get really paranoid and dissociate way more. like my dissociation normally manifests as like. total disconnections from most other humans, i cant relate to most people, the majority of the time i live my life like theres maybe 20 other real humans in the world and everyone else are just NPCs but this time of year it totally flips and i become hyper aware of all the other people in the world and afraid of them and scared im being watched and stalked and followed. ive taken a different way home every day from work/class all week. when i look outside i know the sun is a real object up in the sky and not a figment of my imagination like i usually think of it and thats way scarier to me. i like living my life in a weird little deluded state because ive figured out how to live like that. ive made up all my own little rules for how the world works so i can be a nice and kind person who follows the laws despite feeling like most people are not real and things only exist when i can touch them but every single fall i get thrown back into reality while simultaneously being bombarded by shit from like 20 years ago and it feels bad and weird and i hate it. i see my therapist next week but i always get afraid to say this kind of stuff cuz its not like im having some kind of psychotic episode this is just how i feel at my absolute core and it never really changes even if i rationally understand the world "normally" and it doesnt really matter to me if this thiught process is caused by one of the many ways my brain doesnt work right but i dont wanna take something that makes me see the world "normally " because it sucks and its scary and i dont want a big weird world where everything is real i wanna stay in my tiny fake world where things only matter if i choose to care about them. -ryan

Hi so im thinking this idea of au where Nico can see ppl mind whenever they touch him and back. its a cursed thing bc all he ever felt is ppl's hostility towards him, whether that "annoying kid", "scary scary", "thy son of hades holds the world's crushing grudges", "hes suspicious we cant trust him", "hes gonna kill us all one day", "creep" or "im going to kill him"

Solangelo mind reading upon touches au (with Nico can read a small amount of thought from people's mind base on how they touch him)

Bianca is straight out, "youre annoying and i love u so much, but i dont want to carry more burdens, dont want you to always put everything u care and trust on me, i want u to find yourself, your own path, follow your heart, not me and also, you are not allowed to watch aquaman until your 13th birthday"

Percy's more complicated, its a mix with guilt, anger, betrayal, brotherly love, annoying, sad, sorrow, "im so sorry Nico", "gods this kid is going to be the death of me", "why did u do that i trusted you!", "im sorry im so sorry you dont have to forgive me im sorry", "i trusted you", "why", "he doesnt...hate me?", "imma make a drop dead joke abt his dad", "i hate him im going to do everything for my lil bro"

Annabeth is quite brief actually, but i imagine it goes like "u go and slay kid", "thank you", "deserved", "gods hes such a nerd i like him", "wtf we can eat spiders as FOOD??? the demigods saved humanity for million times and this is what we ge—"

Hazel is very wholesome and nice, "you saved my life", "Im willingly trust u with everything", "youre my brother! happy happy!", "f— sh— holy he—", "baby bear frank we stan", "ppl find u untrustworthy but dont worry Nico i do and i will shove this sword up thei—", "i love u brother", "i wonder what Bianca will think of me"

Jason's wary at him at first but after the Cupid incident he becomes protective and cares for him a lot, "i dont trust him", "son of hades what will u do", "grrr woof woof bark arf", "piper, leo piper leo..", "hes scary", "does nico eat fancy stuff—", "hes brave", "nico youre the best u deserved the world", "im sorry for not trusting u", "im glad i know i appreciated u", "i hope hes ok", "nico you idiot thats not self loving thats self harming com'ere ill give u a hug", "its going to be alright bro", "dont be sad youre great you should know that everything is going to be alright"

Lastly Will Solace, dude this guy is just full on, sentimental, love, gentleness it makes Nico shooked so badly every time they touch, theres even this electrify feeling and warmths and affections, is not like, is not the same as everyone else. And, Nico fall for it every time, in denial, but he can not chase that weird sappy thing in his heart away, cannot ignore it any longer, cannot be in denial, any longer.

they touched the first time, and all Nico see is just worried and strangely huge amount of adoration, "omg did i...touch him, with my hand, which just delivered a baby satyr?", "shit hes cold", "also cute", "dammit Will nows not the time everyone's dying", "imma warm up his pretty warrior hand that is full of scars and scratches", "hes fading", "oh no oh gods no shit keep calm keep calm keep calm", "please i just met him", "i dont want you to fade away", "i have to—i have do something—anything", "fricking speak Will! speak! hes going to disappear again!", "that shirt is cute and disgusting, but overall looks very nice on you", "not that idiot", "smart stuff", "youre going dark and its terrifying me how much i dont want you to—", "what did you do to me", "you are driving me insane"

the second time in the infirmary is just Will being a lovesick puppy and a concerning friend.

"youre old", "im sorry let me fix that", "youre dense and i love-hate you for it", "im worried", "careful focus stitches careful steady blood careful calm bandage", "did i hurt you", "im sorry if i did", "no why would i think that", "of course hes hurted", "he doesnt look like it", "i want to somehow help you other than healing i want to help you but what should i do", "what if hes uncomfortable", "what if i make him uncomfortable", "but hes just", "i need you", "i want to help you", "not as a medic or healer or therapist", "something more", "you are so...nice", "what did you do to me", "ambroisa unicorn draught maybe lights he needs to be at shine", "please dont go", "please come back, "i look forward to seeing you", "hi its nice your face nice your smile nice", "please dont disappear", "i like you", "lots of things about you", "everyday nico everyday nico", "you need every rest you can get you can have everything you want", "even me"

the third time and is just, is too, driving Nico crazy. Despite all the things Will said, not even once of them connected to those inside his head, why, why tho, why him, why this Apollo's son choose him, of all campers, why him, why? And one single touch then this mind-blowing fact hit him harder than a truck.

"i love you"

oh...huh, its simply as that? he is, nico—is, that dense and stupid, isnt he.

Nico, tapping Will's shoulder: Will, can I um, have that?

Will: Have what? "im here you know u can have me instead", "that fricking caramel chocolate candy bar", "you can have anything hon just kiss me", "actually no id died", "worth it", "he looks cute today as well", "dear diary hes cute FUCK—"

Nico, choking: I—nothing. I want to sit with you

Nico, petting Will on his head: Hey, I was just wondering—

Will: "FUKA AFSHEJDKHSSHJA HE TOUCHED MY HEAD—", "soft hand soft hand soft hand soft hand soft hand", "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA—", "its Nico", "Nico Nico Nico Nico—", "and iiiiiiiiiiiii—", "crying right now", "fuck my face is red isnt it duck shieee no no nono calm calm"

Will, blushing: Yes, I'm available, what's up?

Nico, snorts:

Will, leaning his head on Nico's: Nico? "oh gods its happening everyWill calm down oh gods oh gosh", "calm calm calm calm wheres medic Will! We need his ungayness", "nowhere! we lost him seven days ago!!", "wtf thats three nico days he died that early!—", "fuck we doomed"

Nico, trying to hold in his laughter: Y—Yeah?

Will: It's on my mind for awhile "no itS DUCKING NOT—", " i dreamed abt you", "no this is not a dream fuck fuck duck duckshit", "i thought of you every—", that I always wanted to, um, wanted to spend more time with you, to hang out or wanted, you know, be with you, like, "for the rest of my life say it coward say it say it saY IT SAY IT" m—most of the time, and would you mind if I—

Nico is so red, he's not even ashamed of it at this point: If you?

Will: A—Ask you out..."on a date on a date on date on date" on a—on a—

Nico: Yes...?

Will: —trip to Starbuck where we can eat fancy coffee and laugh at stupid drinks like Crystal Ball Frappucino or something "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—", "WHY DO WE KEEP LOOSING", "FOR GODS SAKE ITS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE", "WE ALMOST FRICKING HAD IT FUCK—", "BUT ITS TECHNICALLY A DATE RIGHT??? ITS A DATE RIGHT???"

Nico, trembling: G—Gods sure Will sure, snorts I—of course I'd lov—love to

Nico, pokes Will's back: Will...

"Will", hardly breathing: "cute cute cute cute cute cute nico cute cute cute", "hes being a babyyyyyy—", "fuck thats cute", "is he pouting??? is thaT A FCKING POUT—", "mind be calm and im having a heart attack", "i wanna hug him"

Will: Oh? What's wrong, love?

Nico: It's nothing important, really. I don't know how to explain it. I'm just...kinda, gloomy, at the moment

Will, immediately: "i wanna hug him", "you wanna hug?" You wanna hug? "—OH SHI—"

Nico: Yes, took you long enough

Dating James Hetfield Would Include...

someonefindmeamanasbeautifulashim request:” Hi! I hope you are doing well. Can you please do a "Dating James Hetfield would include"? 😊🙏🤔 “

So James:)

What a softie

So meeting..........

Maybe some where out in public 

Like ok ok

Out minding your own business having a good time and you can just feel someones eyes on you

And when you turn to see whos looking at you your eyes immediately  meet with his

There was something there

You turned back around bc just standing there making eye contact is kind of weird?

But to your surprise he actually came up to you

By first glance he can come off as intimidating just because of his size

But when you came face to face with him he was more adorable then scary

What a awkward sweetheart he was

So basically, he came up all confident but when it came to talking man lost it all

He was awkward in a cute way? 

Like nervous giggles

This wasn’t him trying to pick up a girl at a bar just to hook up

It was him trying to talk to someone he found attractive 

So as time went by the awkward small talk started to wear off and the conversation started to become a actual conversation.

By the end he asked you on date which you agreed(dont reject this man)

James is super goofy

He is constantly making jokes to try and make you laugh

Your laugh makes his day better 

As cliche as that may sound it’s true

Honestly not even your laugh it’s more so just you

Like ok so his day can just be the absolute worst

Everything is falling apart nothing is going his way and things to be stressed over just started adding up

The thought of coming home to you though kept him at a calm state

But coming home and actually seeing you 

It’s literally the only thing that could put a genuine smile on his face

Meeting the band 

I could see James trying to pass it off as you casually just met and it wasn’t planned at all

But James totally planned the whole thing

Like he knew the band would there

He knew you would be there 

But would still react like

“Well look at that! Who would’ve known that you all would be here tonight?! Oh my what a small word, huh?”

Like yes James who would’ve known that Metallica would be at a Metallica event and that you, Metallica’s lead singer would be bringing your significant other? Why yes, it is a small word.

I think Lars would be the type to be asking you a million questions

Kirk would be really shy and have a smile on his face whenever he talked to you

And Jason would really be the only normal one

The members do all end up liking you tho so theres that

Bc they do like you so much James feels like he can bring you around a lot more often

Including tour

So on tour you see the more professional side of James

He takes his work really seriously so most of the day thats all he focuses on

But whenever he does take a break or when you’re both alone you have his full attention

He makes sure that you do bc he feels bad that he cant give you any attention during the day

James doesn’t spoil you 

But he does buy you gifts every now and then

And it’s usually something you’ve had your eye on for a while but won’t buy it for yourself for whatever the reason may be

Singing you to sleep when you are restless

He once sang you nothing else matters and got so into it that he started to sing with that growl in his voice

Which kind of made you lay there like what the fuck

Do I sleep? Or do I listen to this little concert that he’s performing?

Speaking of that

He does concerts for you

In your bedroom, hotel room, living room etc

Will go from humming to full on performing

You’re his audience

Appreciate that please

Clap

Maybe request a song?

Affectionate 

No shame either

Some say it’s gross

James says fuck you

He is proud of who he calls his and isn’t afraid to show the world how affectionate and soft he is for you

James is a outdoorsy type of man

Likes hunting

Idk where you stand on that???

But I feel like if you aren’t against stuff like that then he’d ask you to go with him or try hunting

If you tell him no then whatever your loss

You guys..

Vacation with James

Some go to Hawaii

Some go to Disney World

You go to a worn down cabin in the middle of the woods somewhere in Colorado

It makes him happy

I’m sure he will take you wherever you wanna go

But you’re really gonna have to fight him on that

James wants kids

He wants to be married

He wants to grow old in a worn down cabin in the middle of the woods somewhere in Colorado

He wants to with you 

Man will take months planning it out

I see him taking you on a long hike, stopping every couple of minutes to take pictures at pretty sights, and then when you get to the top you appreciate the view turn around and see James on his one knee with a ring in his hand, and his smile on his face

He asks you to marry him 

Please tell me you say yes

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

Hey. I have this question for a really long time. I have watched and heard people say that when it comes to the law of assumption no deliberate or conscious action is required. You don’t have to take any forced or conscious action. You’ll be inspired to do something which in the moment you won’t even realize is the action your are supposed to be taking. And it’s kinda easy to believe when it comes to the little things. But when it comes to the big things, the desires that seem so unrealistic and impossible this concept of non action makes me quite unsure. Since it’s such a big manifestation shouldn’t I be doing something extra or hard working to manifest it???I mean can these big, impossible looking desires really be as easy and effortless to manifest as the small ones. Is manifesting 10 million dollars really as easy as manifesting say 10 dollars?????

I mean I try to live in the state of the wish fulfilled but all of a sudden these doubts like- “oh you really think sitting here and trying to feel it real without doing something and working hard for it bring you that success while there are others awake at night working hard trying to achieve the same thing, you come from a totally different country/race, you don’t even have any experience or talent in this field, it’s just mere wishful thinking to be able to build a career in a field where you have zero experience and skill and for one you haven’t even learnt or went to school for, blah blah blah……”

I honestly feel so conflicted at times. I have even tried to let that big desire go thinking maybe it’s not meant for me but for some reason it just keeps coming back. I’m unable to forget about it. On one hand I want that and on the other there’s this logical entities that seem so overpowering. Can you please help.

okay let me a get few points across here.

1. added action towards your manifestation is never necessary because your mind is the action- but by all means go ahead. it wont effect it either way, but the real money maker is your mind/mindset.

2. “big manifestations” or “small manifestations” do not exist- literally the reason why you’re labelling stuff big manifestations is because of the pedestal you raise them on. manifesting 10 million is the exact same as manifest 10 dollars cus all you need as a tool is your MIND. thats it. the only difference is the number.

3. dont let your race/background get in the way of your dreams- so many famous poc literally most famous people in the world went through a lot of crap and still succeeded. research the ones that did and use them as motivation!!!

this reminds me of abdullah, abdullah was a dark black man- abdullah lived in the JIM CROW ERA..literally people like him were getting in serious danger just for their skin every single day. it wasnt safe and it was scary- this didnt stop abdullah though, he sat in the front row of a segregated opera. if anyone did this..they would’ve been KILLED. its insane how the mind is, he just lived life as if it has already come true and lived in the assumption. he told neville “live life as though you are there” of course you don’t have to exactly believe what you have is right here right now. you can just KNOW. know what you want is on its way, KNOW your manifestation is inevitable. just like you know 1+1=2 is a FACT and you firmly believe- firmly believe that your manifestation is a fact and its on its way.

oh and theres no such thing as “maybe its not meant for me” if its not meant for you- you wouldn’t have this longing desire for it. you DECIDE what is meant for you

YOU ARE REALLY LIMITLESS.

Interview with Billie for the Kerrang Yearbook. Sounds like this took place around 2000-2001?

Hello Billie Joe. A bit pissed at the Kerrang Awards weren't you? "I was drinking with Papa Roach the night before. Everybody went to see The Cult in Brixton. All the American bands like Papa Roach and Queens Of The Stone Age were there. I felt terrible when I got out of bed to go to the Kerrang Awards." Who ended up worse off - you or Coby Dick? "Sometimes Coby can't even hold it together when he's sober! He's super-hyper all the time. You have to say, 'Coby, turn it off for 2 minutes - I'm in my bunk!' Then he'll turn it off and you can get into a decent conversation." You experienced some difficulty in getting off the stage after accepting your Kerrang Award. "Award's shows freak me out - I'm so scared shitless of those things so I end up doing stupid things. I never theought I'd ever win an award for playing music. Watching all our videos being shown up on the screen, I just looked at Mike and Tre and said. 'Does this mean we're old now?' I can be such a self-conscious freak. I just don't know how to be cool." What's the healthiest thing you've done this year? "I like to keep myself fit. I run, I skateboard, and i'll hit the weights every other day. You reach a certain age when you've gotta start looking out for yourself. I'm staring down the barrel of 30, you know? My dad really let himself fall to @#%$ and I don't want to end up like that. Theres a preconcieved idea about musicians and punk musicians in particular that we have to self-destruct, and I can't buy into that. I like to breathe. Like like it when my heart beats - Its a really cool thing." Have you cut down on your drinking recently? "When i'm on tour I drink all day long with the guys. There's nothing else to do. But i've been at homea while. There are many, many moods to Billie Joe. There's drunk me and theres not-drunk me." What have you learned about being a father during the past year? "You learn new things every day as your kids' characters and personalities are building. Joey is 6 now, he's not a baby at all, he's a little boy. And Jacob, who's 3, is a maniac. The one rule I have is that I never expose them to television." What have you learned about Tre and Mike this past year? "Wow (long pause). I learned that Mike is a Bob Dylan fan, which was kind of suprising. I'm not the biggest fan but I definately appreciate Bob Dylan. And Tre is becoming really fluent in Spanish. His wife is Nicaraguan." What color has your hair been this year? "I shaved my head when I got off the road. Its been black. I haven't really been changing it. When the boy groups started dyeing their hair, I had to stop." Any fashion tips you'd care to pass on to Kerrang readers? "I've been wearing the same pants since High School! Never been into the Versace thing." Best punk rock song you've heard this year? "Last Nite by The Strokes. They're not really a punk band, but those guys have a really cool outlook and a good sensibility about how they present themselves. All the rap rock metal bands have lost that rock'n'roll element, and i'm just a sucker for good rock'n'roll music." What song has been stuck in your head this year, even though you hate it? "Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. It was bad when Michael Jackson sang it, but it's even worse second time around! Y'know, I think Michael Jackson should join Slipknot. His face looks so bizarre now, its like he's wearing a mask." Are Slipknot still the scariest dudes in rock? "In about a year from now, if they're still as popular as they are now, they'll be as American as apple pie. That's sort of what happened to Marilyn Manson. When he came out he was really scary looking, like 'Jesus Christ! This guy is a maniac!' But now its, 'Oh, theres Marilyn, mowing the lawn, no big deal.' I like Manson, but it's funny how the most normal people end up being the most threatening, and the people who are scariest at first end up kinda normal. That's the dissapointing thing about shock value. Neil Young is more threatening than Slipknot just because he's smarter and has more of an opinion." How much fun did you have on tour in 2001? "It's really exciting at first because you're in different places every day, but after a while i'd rather be home. I get into really long conversations with my wife, I talk to my kids a lot, I'll write little notes and draw pictures for them and fax them to the house. Our sets are getting longer, sometimes we'll play up to three hours, and its because there is no rock'n'roll lifestyle for me other than that. I'm a devoted husband and a devoted father, and so all that decadent bullshit is not my thing. You start to wonder, 'Is this the life for me?' But then I get home and I dont know what the @#%$ to do with myself because i'm not playing music. People have looked at us and gone, 'Obviously these guys have no place to go after the gig because they're still on stage!'" Where were you on September 11? "I was on West Coast time, so it was really early in the morning for me. I saw the towers fall, and it felt like the world was gonna end. What amazes me is that Tony Blair is almost heading the coalition by himself! Does he realise what he's getting his country into? This is @#%$ serious! There's been a lot of shocking words used: the 'crusade against terrorism'. The las thing you say to someone from the Middle East is the word 'crusade'." After September 11, do you share America's renewed sense of patriotism? "No way. I can't really see myself as a patriot. I don't see what happened in New York as an act of war, it's an act of terrorism. Every country has had to deal with terrorism in some form, and this is the first time America has ever seen it and they dont know what to do, so everyone is clinging to these war slogans. All the flags is people's cars and homes - it just seems kind of gross to me." Has American learnt from the tragedy? "I hope some good stuff comes out of this. People have become so self-absorbed and dedicated to their careers. I'm not a person to wave a flag for family values or anything like that, but there comes a time when your relationships and your family is the most important thing, not whether you're making $100,000 every year. Thats what I hope comes out of it - that people realise the important things in life." Six Of The Best Best Friend: " Valium. Lots of plane flights, man. Valium only lasts four hours, so if you're on an 11 hour flight take two and a half." Best advice: "Put your head between your knees if you think you are gonna pass out." Best Ass: "Tre Cool. Not only because he has one, but because he is one." Personal Best: The pinnacle moment for me this year, musically, was playing Reading. It was a great show. There's so many bands nowadays who can't play live, but to actually do it and have people singing along and getting something sentimental out of it at the same time, thats rare, and we achieved that at Reading." Best Night Out: "The furst night I went out after september 11. I really went for it. American has these feelings of its days being numbered. It's like a country that has just got cancer, but the cancer's in remission. A lot of people are doing all the things they've always talked about doing. I hadn't partied really hard in a while, so that's what I did. I went to a couple of bars with Mike and Tre and our producer. We got loud and had a good time." Best Buy: " My cellphone. The ring tone is just a goofy tune. And it vibrates well in my pocket."