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inchidentally · 3 months

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Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

@twinkodium helped talk me through this ask so a huge thank you to her <3

gonna put below a cut and include some other asks that aren't necessarily of interest to everyone and are kind of in the same vein (note the tag)

okay so "why not just be friendly like they are with other guys" is a pretty good thing to focus on bc when you actually break it down, Lando and Oscar define themselves as being pretty shy and they conceal a fair amount their lives and closest friends from the public. and truth is that it seems to take both of them at least a year of knowing someone before they open up - and even longer before they're as friendly as we see them with guys like Logan, Zhou, Carlos or Daniel. Lando lists the guys he's known since as far back as karting as his closest friends. so after just one season together, what we already have in terms of friendliness between Lando and Oscar is pretty damn good!

but honestly we can't say that either of them are really holding back at all when we've got Andrea and Zak constantly emphasizing how in sync they are and then of course how big they both show up for each other's wins/poles etc. whatever we don't get in terms of fun fandom content, we've got them showing each other mutual respect and support and sharing the same priorities. that's... really good imo.

it's what cracks me up abt everyone who went all 'planetf1 angry white dad in oakleys selfie in a truck comment section' over that recent Oscar quote. Lando's literally had everyone saying the same thing to him, directly and on social media ?? did they also decide that Martin Brundle, Natalie Pinkham, Lawrence Barretto and Jenson Button all despise Lando and want to take swipes at him by saying that his public flagellation feels of no use and worse, that it's probably a hindrance to his mindset? did Lando suddenly became loathed by all these people who SEEM to openly like or love him bc they said that ??

or did they expect Oscar to respond to that question with "oh no yeah it's cool that my teammate who I actually like shits all over himself and gives his haters ammo y'know to each their own whatever man" bc that WOULD actually be incredibly cold and hurtful asgajsgfljasf

I know fandom can go way off track and start expecting these men to talk like fan fic but the truth is that they view each other as professionals and fellow drivers first and friends (if they are) second. I won't repeat myself bc I've posted about it enough but none of the grid are a significant part of Lando or Oscar's life outside F1. Lando and Martin did a stopover in Perth (and apparently Martin even had work there?) for one day to ride dirt bikes at Daniel's ranch and Lando went to Carlos' sisters' gigantic state wedding lol. doesn't compare at all compared to Lando's time spent with Max F, the quadrant folks, his family, his Monaco friends and definitely not Martin Garrix. it also doesn't mean that they're not still friends with those guys on the grid - it's just not the same.

so the fact that Lando and Oscar aren't out here dishing out bromancey stuff where fans can see and hear definitely doesn't say that those bromances mean the drivers are actually any closer. Oscar relied on extroverts like Robert and Arthur to give him something to play off and Lando relied on Carlos and Daniel for the same. so when they're left without a gobby extrovert they do that cute thing of giggling and handing back and forth to each other. to me personally it's always kind of sweet ?? that Lando and Oscar do the thing of looking at each other for support to get through the cringey and awkward to camera stuff. sometimes when Lando is really feeling himself Oscar can just kick back and watch him. and as we saw w that helmet design video, even when Oscar isn't filming w Lando he hangs around offers support.

wow apparently I cannot stay on track today anon but idk I just personally think that it's the opposite of a mutual fakeout and they've bonded pretty well over both being shy, both being equally focused on their careers and also needing to switch off sometimes. finding out they spent the night after Lando's crash in Vegas together sharing "commiserations" is like, one in a long list of us hearing that they chose to hang out alone together and not publicize it.

all of us are on the outside of their friendship and as much as that suuuuucks for not getting as much content as we want, it's also really sweet and kind more likely to be genuine and lasting since they consider a lot of that relationship as private <3

askgfka no prob!! tbh a lot of the stress and anxiety in other Lando ships is down to ppl getting way too comfy w the idea that real life partners either aren't "real" or that they're the only thing standing in the way of their ship becoming real.

and bc for some reason landoscar makes me want to write all of these essays I feel like it's kind of my responsibility to be like yeah, there's even more than just assuming ppl's sexualities and their real life partners stand between two ppl we like to imagine together actually getting together. rpf is heavy on the f and mostly what we're all actually enjoying are friendships. and as someone who is lucky to have them, I personally wouldn't be one of those ppl who said romantic partners and friendships are on some sliding scale of importance. they're just different!

ever since landoscar became a thing, Lily's been in Oscar's life and Lando's been pursued by every man who sees him and burning through baddies on Raya on a literal global scale. it's important to come back from rpf to that fact so we don't end up attraction those legions of people calling real life girlfriends "PR beards" or that Lando's dating app horniness is some front for him meeting up with Carlos or Daniel or whoever lol.

oh I am so not the person to answer abt this since I can't relate to wanting couples to get married or thinking that it's all that significant! I'm a huge romantic and I theoretically enjoy the idea of weddings/marriage but all the ppl I know who've gotten married out of college are already regretting or cheating it so it's put a real damper on it for me.

but that's as much as I want to speculate abt them bc I don't want to put anything out in the universe for ppl I'll never even know !!

#inchreplies #f1rpftalk #f1partnerstalk

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wooahaes · 7 months

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of your choosing

pairing: non-idol!vernon x fem!bisexual!reader [ft. coworker!scoups]

genre: slight hurt/comfort. established relationship.

word count: ~1.4k

warnings: reader's friend accidentally making a biphobic joke at reader's expense (she apologizes immediately). food mentions. vernon being a sweetie (+ cheol too). literally no proofreading btw.

daisy's notes: no taglist for this one purely bc its very self indulgent (like i entirely wrote this for me lol) + its a lil expansion of a fic i wrote on nonranghaes.

Most people in your life now were the kind of people you trusted. While you’d never been ashamed of your sexuality (your support system while questioning had been too strong and there for you every step of the way)... Sometimes you felt as though people had grown a little too comfortable.

Not Vernon. Never Vernon: you came out to him a few months into dating him once you felt sure that he wouldn’t judge you, and he didn’t. He’d embraced your bisexuality with open arms, merely remarking a laid back “cool—how do you want me to respond? With a hug? I’m down for whatever,” and then his thanks that you trusted him enough to come out. Seungcheol knew, too, because the two of you had gone out for drinks after work and you’d drunkenly came out to him on the walk to your bus stop. His response had been a little different in the moment (it wasn’t judgmental in the slightest, but a “that’s not an excuse for not holding onto me—you’re going to fall!”) and he’d met you for breakfast the next morning to ask if he’d heard you correctly. Hell, Seungcheol was the reason you came out to Vernon: he’d set the two of you up, and you’d asked if Vernon was the kind of person to judge you for that.

He’d stared at you and answered with “Would I have introduced you if he wasn’t?”

(You suddenly grew to appreciate Seungcheol a lot more than just being your ‘big brother’ figure at work.)

Regardless, most people in your life were trustworthy. Therefore, everyone knew that you were bisexual. Simple. Anyone who judged you for being a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man was cut out of your life if they weren’t willing to learn.

Anyhow, that was how pretty much everyone at this party knew you and knew of your bisexuality. Not everyone in the room was straight (a slight reassurance—you didn’t feel like a spectacle in any way), and you’d noted those people because several of them were your friends. One of your friends was drunk at this point in the night, sitting cross-legged on the couch. Vernon was whispering something into your ear, fingers grazing over your bare shoulder and playing with the strap of your dress. He’d drank a little, too, and it was enough to loosen him up to initiate physical affection like this.

To be honest… You weren’t sure what brought you to the moment. All you knew was that the friend on the couch, Jia, had laughed and said something about how you “were bisexual, so obviously you weren’t going to decide,” and it’d hurt.

See, that was the thing: Jia was not bisexual (she was an out and proud lesbian, actually). You could make jokes about being bisexual and not making decisions, because you were poking fun at yourself, not just your sexuality. It was hard to explain to people, sure, but there was a difference between you making a joke over yourself and someone else doing it at your expense. The sting of Jia’s words were evident on your face, and she immediately realized what she’d hurt you.

“Oh my god,” she said, “I’m so sorry—”

“No, it’s fine,” you said, waving it off. “It’s fine.”

“No, I mean it, I didn’t—I didn’t mean that,” she said. “Really—”

You’d pushed Vernon’s hand off of your shoulder. “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it. I get it.”

Although Jia had settled back into the conversation, Vernon could see it on your face that it wasn’t fine. It was never fine. His attention fell back to Jia, who had changed the subject entirely, and then to Seungcheol, who seemed to be silently steaming in his seat. He could see the way you avoided Seungcheol’s gaze for a moment, and then quietly excused yourself to get a drink. Except you didn’t go toward the kitchen—Vernon watched you make your way to the front door. A second later, he heard Seungcheol speaking up, saying something to Jia about coming to grab a drink with him (which meant Seungcheol was definitely about to defend you). Which meant Vernon needed to do his part: Seungcheol would talk to Jia, Vernon needed to talk to you.

He found you easily enough. When he finally made it outside, there you were, standing underneath a streetlight and hugging yourself. You weren’t crying, but leaning against the base of it, rubbing your arms for warmth.

“Hey.” He made his way over to you, thankful you weren’t crying. He’d feel like a shitty boyfriend if you were crying: he should have moved immediately to follow you. If you needed the space, you would have said it outright. He, in your own words, was safe for that kind of talk. “You alright?”

You nodded, looking back out at the street. “Just… Didn’t feel like staying any longer.”

“For what it’s worth,” he stepped into the space next to you. “I think she’s genuinely sorry.”

“I know,” you nod. “I can tell. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have pushed back and insisted so hard. You know how she is.”

He watched the way you rubbed your arms again. You’d worn this sleeveless dress because it was one of your faves, and because it’d been warmer earlier. Vernon liked it, too: he thought the confident way you carried yourself was always your prettiest look. Yet the temperature had dropped lower than either of you had expected, but Vernon came prepared. He knew how to take care of his girl. If that meant stripping off his jacket and pushing it onto your shoulders, then so be it: he could handle the cooler weather.

“Thanks,” you pulled it closer to you. “I dunno. I mean, she immediately apologized, but it still kinda stings.”

“I get it.” He wrapped an arm around you. “Like… You can make those jokes because it’s you.”

“Right.” You leaned into him. “I dunno, I think it was the alcohol. I just…” With a deep breath, you shut your eyes. “I can’t help but feel like some people are expecting me to choose a side rather than a person.”

“I don’t. Cheol doesn’t, either. I don’t think anyone up there does,” he said. “But I know that doesn’t really matter.”

“It does, actually,” you said, opening your eyes again so you could meet his gaze. “I’m glad I have you guys. I just… I dunno. I’ve seen people say that kind of stuff before. I’ve cut people out because their opinion of me changed when I went from saying that I’m bisexual to saying that I have a boyfriend.” Shifting your weight from leg to leg, you let out a sigh. “I just—Can’t I just exist? I’m not ‘picking a side’ by being with you, I’m picking a person that I love. That doesn’t make me any more or less bisexual than I was before.”

“I know.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss against your temple. “For what it’s worth… I’m kinda glad you chose me.”

Your gaze met his again, a little teasing. “Kinda?”

He chuckled, warm as ever, and planted another quick kiss—only this time he’d pressed it against the corner of your mouth, ever the tease. He changed the topic with ease, fingers brushing against your arm again as he pulled you in closer. “You hungry?”

You looked back at the building behind you, “What about—”

“It’s boring,” he said; a complete lie, but one you were grateful for. “Besides… Cheol’s talking to Jia. He’s got your back.”

It earned a smile from you. Seungcheol always seemed glad to watch out for anyone he cared for: whether it was you and politely acknowledging the fact some male coworkers were disrespecting you, or picking up his friends when it was late and they needed the ride. He cared about people with his entire heart. You would have to thank him later, maybe bringing him his favorite coffee when you went into work next.

“I was thinking… Maybe we could find an Italian place?” Vernon pulled you along with him, arm resting around you. “Or tacos—Babe, I could murder some tacos right now.”

All you could do was smile, giggling a little as you fell into step with him. At least you had Vernon by your side: the person you chose to have there.

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #vernon x reader #vernon x you #svt reader insert #chwe vernon x reader #chwe hansol x reader

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blonkk · 2 months

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i get so emotionally turbulent in the airport. maybe it’s because i’m always going off 2 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to drive to the airport and i always book 6am flights and i always drink the night before. anyways i read this reddit post where this kids stepdad always financially provides fairly for him and his bio kids but excludes the stepson from special trips etc. he told the stepson it’s bc those are his bio kids and he wants to spend time with them and show them they mean more to him by virtue of being blood etc. he raised the stepson since he was one and shows preferential treatment to his bio kids, one of whom is the stepsons half sister. so the stepson responded by calling him by his first name rather than “dad” and stepdad got upset and hurt…anyways that story made me cry. idk i guess maybe it’s “natural” to other a kid who’s not “yours” biologically but jesus christ. you can’t treat a kid that way, exclude them, let them know they are less loved….irresponsible and cruel imo, no matter how you truly feel….

so there’s that. and then i saw this old dude handing presumably his wife a box of timbits and i got all gushy. and this older couple across from me is so cute the lady is just resting on her man’s chest and he’s just sitting there doing his thang. idk man i’m probably pmsing. i also have been reflecting on my loneliness and it’s imminent return LOL all my friends are leaving where i live soon and i’ll be alone..but i guess that’s my lot in life? that’s the way it is. there’s a lot of people i really love and appreciate even if they’re not the ideal friends/what have you. one being my roommate, a 50yo dude who does nothing but drink beer and smoke weed and talks about missing his daughter who he goes to see like once a year. i don’t agree with that aspect of his life (go see your KID instead of buying a new dirt bike !!) but man i have a lot of affection for him. he’s very generous and caring and kind and he channels his misplaced fatherly energy towards myself and the other younger workers on the mountain. i genuinely get along with him, and when he was with his daughter over the weekend i missed him…like i would get home and be like damn drew’s not here :/ and literally all we do is yap after-work style and sometimes watch shows. but idk he’s my favourite roommate this far which is crazy. idk it’s weird you never know who the people who actually make a difference in your life will be; it would have been so easy to write him off had i not bothered getting to know him. he’s a redneck, a sort of absent dad (he pays child support and knows everything ab her and supports her hobbies . he loves his daughter but. he’s gotta try harder to see her despite her living a few hours away) , he smokes cigs like a fiend, drinks beer like water, he passes out on the couch every single night of his life to dirt bike videos/sasquatch stories/random singing shows, is a typical tradesman. like it would be natural for me to judge his character based on those things. he’s actually one of the people who consistently takes my side when feminism comes up and always tells the other dudes “she’s right” etc. idk i just really am thankful to live somewhere where i’m comfortable with someone lol

& the other people i’ve met within the last year of my life have made me a better person and a happier person. somehow i really recovered a lot in the shithole where i live. dead end job, unfamiliar types of people , weird isolation. a lot of the shame i’ve carried my whole life has dissipated. i’ve been more myself than any other time in my life; and i don’t fear people’s rejection if i say what i truly believe or feel. sometimes there’s disagreements and some arguing, but it never ends badly, and weirdly i know i have peoples respect, even if they don’t agree with me or understand me. that’s what the key is i think — all my life with my family i’ve feared their rejection, their scrutiny, and their wrath. i’ve been scared to lose their love and respect because i was constantly threatened with it, and i experienced it countless times. the things the members of my immediate family have said to me, the things they’ve called me, the ways they’ve rejected me and punished me for being who i am has really damaged me and i always lived with it, bringing it into other relationships and friendships, not understanding that it was impacting literally every aspect of my life; how i interact with people being the main thing. it’s impacted my self esteem to such a degree with i could never make genuine friends and connections because i always went along with what other people said so they wouldn’t punish me. i let people treat me like dogshit because it’s what i was used to and what i thought love/acceptance costed. it even affected how i performed at work and what type of work i’ve tried to succeed at as an adult. it’s why i’m so lost and messed up and rootless. it’s why i have no idea what i want, and why for so many years i had no idea who i was.

for the first time in my life i feel accepted , if not loved. it’s enough to make me extremely emotional. it’s enough to make me happy because i could literally never imagine feeling so safe in my life. i love my parents and family but my god. what they’ve done to me can’t be reversed, though some things are beginning to repair

also i’m listening to the divorced dad playlist on spotify and it’s hitting. live laugh love!!!!

#cob time #excuse the dramatic catharthis

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ocpdramblings · 3 months

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I had a mental breakdown today. I cried for two hours straight to the point I had trouble breathing at several points in time, and got nauseous towards the end of it. My crying only stopped bc I quite literally exhausted myself and passed out for an hour.

I have this big thing about vulnerability. I hate doing it. It never makes me feel better afterwards. And for the past year that I’ve been working on my vulnerability, it has emotionally regressed me back by a decade. Reaching out to people is difficult.

For the first time, I reached out when I was having so much difficulty that I actually could not calm myself. I texted my closest friends, I texted my friends I’ve known for years, I texted my closest friends in proximity. For thirty minutes, I got no response. After that thirty minutes I got a couple half hearted responses.

I know that I shouldn’t take it personally. But I’ve got this trauma from being the therapist friend and never being allowed to open up about my feelings. One of my closest friends said he wasn’t emotionally capable of it rn, and then I learned that it was bc he was helping a different friend. I know I shouldn’t take it personally but it’s a little difficult to not feel bitter. I’m happy he communicated. I don’t want to guilt trip him in any way. But I had no friends supporting me. No friends responding to me even though I saw them interacting on social media or on other servers. I’m bitter. I’m enraged. I’m sad. I’m so alone. I’m never lonely. I’m not afraid of being alone. But there was no one on my side for at least 30 minutes onward.

I help my friends bc I like doing it, I like caring for them. But what does it mean if I’m the one extending and never receiving. I’m so hurt. I’m so upset. I want to see none of them again and I want to be coddled by them

#my post #personal

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omegasamwilson · 3 years

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I literally had a panic attack when I watched Ayo take off Bucky's arm. I was born without my left arm and see a lot of myself in Bucky. I have a prosthetic and had to stop the episode and watch it later. And it really hurt me to see your completely disregard that and say I have no right to be upset. It really pisses me off. I'm fully acknowledging that Bucky did a terrible thing, and he needed to be stopped. But she didn't have to remove his arm. He wouldn't have hurt her. To see you refer to his arm in the tags as a weapon further hurt me. It's not a fucking weapon, it's his fucking arm. You're trying to twist this into a race issue when it's about fucking ableism. I'm brown not black so I don't know if you'll accept my concerns with your post

Hi, one, I apologize for what is sure to be a very long and very frustrated statement. But I’m dealing with a lot of shit rn (actually related to race and ableism specifically) but I wanted to respond because my ADHD ass will forget otherwise.

Okay. One, you say “he wouldn’t have hurt her.”

We, the audience, knows that. Ayo did not. What she knows is that the man before her was an assassin and sniper, even before he was captured and forced to kill by HYDRA. He was a WWII sniper and seemed to be quite skilled (I’m going to assume that’s one of the reasons HYDRA tried to experiment on him and picked him to he the winter soldier.) In any case, this newly reformed (and at the time, just barely reformed. As in, he was healed a month, maybe two months before the events of infinity war. So he’s been healed for a whopping seven months.) This newly reformed assassin, who had been the victim of either chemical or otherwise mental subjugation freed a terrorist from prison.

Not only did he free a terrorist from prison, he freed a terrorist that was obsessed with HYDRA. If any terrorist knew a back door to unlock the winter soldier again, it would be Baron Zemo, who knew each and every one of HYDRA’s secrets.

While Shuri is definitely brilliant, it’s entirely possible that HYDRA buried a safety within their “asset” just in case he was able to break his programming. It’s entirely possible that it was so well buried amongst the labyrinth that is the brain that even Shuri couldn’t find it. After all, Shuri isn’t a neuroscientist, and the brain is largely regarded as the final frontier. So it’s entirely possible that she missed buried programming.

So, we have a person that got rid of HYDRA’s programming seven months ago that just freed one of the only people on the planet that could have the information that could potentially reactivate the winter soldier. And THEN, we have a video of this man “acting” as the winter soldier in madripoor. This was uploaded on the internet and I’m assuming that Ayo saw it.

What proof does Ayo have that he won’t hurt her? That she won’t weaponize his arm and hurt her? What proof does she have that he’s not under Zemo’s control, that Zemo can’t control him in a second. The only thing she knows are that Bucky Barnes freed a terrorist that had access to all of HYDRA’s information, the terrorist appeared to control the winter soldier in madripoor, and it is entirely possible that there is buried programming designed to deactivate the winter soldier.

She deactivates it, realizes he’s fully in control of himself and says, “bast damn you, James.” As in, “fuck you for freeing a terrorist and acting like it isn’t a big deal. You are clearly acting on your own accord in this.”

And yes, it’s different being Black vs. being Brown. It isn’t to say that racism and ableism don’t intersect with Brown folks because obviously it does.

But l specifically asked for Black opinions bc of the demonization of Black folks, especially the trope of “big scary Black women” or “big scary Black men.”

It’s ironic I see this today when I have a story that is so relevant and anger inducing.

I work with white parents of Black children, usually through adoption since I work primarily with lgbt parents, but I do have some cis het white parents raising Black biological kids. One of the parents and friends got into it today because her autistic Black child got into it with their sibling (also disabled). The sibling intentionally triggered their older sibling and punched them and it escalated to the point where the bigger sibling finally reacted and shoved the younger sibling. It broke the younger kid’s glasses. The youngest is legally blind and needs very expensive and specific prescription classes to even have 20/40 vision.

The mom called the police on her child and the kid was arrested and charged. She is 15. Mom described the kid as aggressive and awful and terrible and all sorts of names. A ww called the police on her Black 15 year old child having a meltdown. And she played into stereotypes that Black people, Black women, are aggressive/scary/angry. A ww could’ve gotten her child killed for having a meltdown because she broke a white child’s disability aid.)

A ww couldve gotten her child killed because she played into anti-Black stereotypes. That white people need protection from them. Even when the white child was initially the aggressor in the scenario.

Sure, it’s different, but it plays to the same stereotypes. Poor white disabled person needs protection from the aggressive scary Black person, and we’re just going to assume that the Black person was being unnecessarily aggressive because it plays into all of the stereotypes about Black people. No, there’s no way that this Black person was making a decision based on a series of evidence that could point to them genuinely being harmed.

(By the way, in the scenario of the two kids, I think they both needed help and support, and that the police shouldn’t have been called period.)

Nope, it’s just an aggressive Black person being ableist.

The same systems that have everyone seeing Bucky as a cute little uwu cinnamon roll in need of protection are what caused everyone to see Ayo as an aggressive ableist Black woman. White people usually get the benefit of the doubt. The best intentions are believed even when the evidence clearly says otherwise.

The evidence Ayo had indicated that she had no idea whether the winter soldier could’ve been reactivated and whether or not Bucky could’ve been under zemo’s control. She had no idea. None. She made a decision based off that information. And the fact that Bucky didn’t react strongly indicated that he was acting on his own accord.

Mayhaps, Ayo might even have been trying to trigger the winter soldier. I just thought of this but it makes sense. That the WS would react very defensively and even potentially deadly to that level of fighting, even if his previous orders were different.

In any case, this situation isn’t comparable to every day disabled people because our disability aids to not double as weapons. Most people can’t do more harm with a prosthetic limb than they can with a regular limb. Bucky can. Bucky’s arm is also a weapon and that fact complicates matters considerably. If bucky’s arm were simply a regular arm with typical strength, it’d be a no brainer situation. But it’s not. We don’t know the wakanda enhancements of his arms, but we know in the comics, he could kill with a single punch using his arm. He uses his arm tactically to map his surroundings. He uses his arm to send off EMPs that can disabled weaponry. It even has a retractable blade for close combat. It is a disability aid that it also a weapon. It was designed to be a weapon. The normal conversations around disability aids don’t fit it because no one today has a disability aid that could kill someone in seconds and even cause larger scale damage with a targeted EMP.

And finally, I want to say this, I am truly sorry that you had a panic attack while watching the episode. That is never fair and it’s never fun to be triggered by television shows.

I do hope this helped to better explain and clarify my perspective.

#nonny mouse #ayo #tfatws #police cw #ableism #anti blackness

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azucanela · 4 years

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being bolin’s s/o would include hcs?

BEING BOLIN’S S/O HEADCANNONS [GENDER NEUTRAL]

BEING KORRA’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O | BEING ZUKO’S S/O

SUMMARY: life with bolin from confession to wedding

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

WARNINGS: crying, insecurities, kissing, that it this is wholesome there are like no warnings

A/N: MY BOY BOLIN DON’T GOT NO REP SO HERE

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

ahjsgdhjsgd a simp through and through, he’s gonna think you are literally so beautiful and handsome and amazing when he first meets you and he’ll definitely stumble over his words but aside from that he doesn’t know you so there won’t be and ~feelings~

he’s just gonna view you as his really attractive buddy from then on until he gets to know you because that’s what up? that’s whats up.

once he does get to know you he is like wow you are perfect this is unfair what, and now he is back to simping because damn you are perfect

accepts his feelings very quickly, he is very in tune with his emotions because at the end of the day, he’s an emotional guy which is good bc screw toxic masculinity right

he’s gonna decide if he wants to pursue this further very quickly as well, and will definitely have a long conversation about how amazing you are to a very annoyed mako

mako does not like you rn, its not because you are a bad person or anything, its just because his brother will NOT SHUT UP ABOUT YOU and now he is annoyed by your existence

anyways back to the better other brother

this is gonna go two ways

based off bolin’s treatment of korra when he had his lil crush on her, he’s gonna be very forward about asking you out and taking you out on a date, but when he actually like confesses confesses its gonna be all shy and cute

the first date is gonna be very basic, just dinner and stuff, talking about a variety of topics and life and all that and he’s just gonna be so in awe of you because wow YOU

at the end of the night he’s gonna confess and be like “yeah, i just really like you and I hope you like me too because you’re the most amazing and beautiful and intelligent and all around perfect person i know.”

if you respond positively our consent KING will ask if he can kiss you because he is a gentleman

than ya’ll kiss and he’s like date me pls and you’re like yes ofc

alternatively you will approach him and ask him out on a date and he FREAKS OUT like he starts sqeauling and stuff because wow his crush just asked HIM out

someone expressed interest in HIM

bolin is the type to never get picked especially when put beside mako and he was genuinely worried you might like his brother hahaha... good thing you didn’t! this is good this is good!

super super nervous on the date but hey you asked him out you MUST like him, right? right.

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

HASGDJHAGDJAG2

welp

bolin is a special boy

definitely treats you like the QUEEN YOU ARE, will try and pay for everything despite being highkey broke, exaggeratively opens doors for you, gives you his jacket if he can, is all around a gentleman because he just wants to treat you right and really doesn’t want you to leave him

PDA PDA PDA EVERYWHERE, unless you explicitly state that you don’t want PDA, or set boundaries— which bolin would COMPLETELY respect, he wants you to be comfortable and happy with him! — otherwise he always wants to be touching you and holding you. while you are out together he is holding you hand, pressing pecks against your lips, hugging you from behind while you talk to friends, always touching you, hand on your hip, arm around your shoulder

in private i can actually see bolin as being more shy about affection, especially if you initiate it. he gets SO FLUSTERED whenever you initiate anything and just sits there like w o w

don’t get me wrong he is still very touchy, you just make him shy and flustered because you are just so amazing to him

not the type to get jealous jealous, but is the type to get insecure. he isn’t going to fight a guy hitting on you, because you are pretty and handsome and amazing and he trusts you. however, he will fight a guy for disrespecting you. bolin drinks a lot of respect juice and does not hesitate to attack if someone hurts you in any way

your number one hype man, whether you are insecure about an outfit or worried about the future of a project for work/school, he’s going to being hyping you up and reminding you how great you are

bolin is also really verbal about his love for you, he has no shame expressing it and telling you he loves you. all around he’s really good at expressing his feelings and communication

if you two ever fight bolin is probably going to start crying, and definitely will apologize first, even if he isn’t the one in the wrong. if YOU start crying, he will either cry more or begin crying if he hasn’t already.

speaking of crying, if you are ever crying bolin would be great at comfort ngl, he’s gonna bring you food if you want it, blankets, entertainment, definitely trains pabu purely to make you laugh. he’ll listen to you rant and vent and even add on, especially if he feels just as strongly as you do.

supports all your hobbies and endeavors, comes to any events you want him to

speaking of events GO TO HIS PROBENDING TOURNAMENTS. GO TO HIS MOVIE PREMIERES. SUPPORT HIM. HE WILL CRY TEARS OF JOY. literally it makes him so happy to see you at these events, cheering him on and congratulating him

bolin is a good kisser, you cannot change my mind. he’s really soft, like there’s no harshness or anything like that, just pure love. very passionate and gentle with you.

he’s like still lowkey a celebrity so you guys get recognized in public and there are a few crazy fans that he would totally protect you from if they ever went too far, but most of them respect you guys

they all simp for your bf just like you do

all in all a good boyfriend.

MARRIAGE N STUFF

HAHSAGDJAGS PLEASE PROPOSE BOLIN IS SO STRESSED

like he decided he wanted to marry you at exactly 2:11PM while visiting Mako and literally booked it in the middle of dinner with Mako just to freak out over this revelation and stress buy a ring, he doesn’t even know what your ring size is oh no

he is literally panicking so much someone please calm him down he wants to marry you and has no idea if you want to marry him back and simultaneously has a fear of rejection oh no

bolin is gonna avoid you and you’re probably gonna think he’s breaking up with you or something like that, even though it is quite the opposite, he literally wants to spend the rest of his life with you

at some point you confront him, crying, asking if he is going to dump you and if he does intend to dump you then to just get it over with because you dont want to waste more time with him

“have you been avoiding me?”

“what? me? never”

“...are you breaking up with me bolin.”

“DEFINITELY NOT.”

bolin starts crying because you are crying and he is freaking out again because you got the complete wrong message and literally will get the ring and propose right then and there just to reassure you that he still loves you and never ever wants to leave you

honestly, you guys are the type of couple to both have rings, and then one of you proposes just for the other to start laughing and pull out a ring as well because same wavelength guyssss

alternatively you propose and its probably just as chaotic because bolin definitely starts sobbing when you do, he’s so soft and he loves you and wow you love him too and want to marry him thats adorable

you probably do more research ahead of time and have a planned out thing on like the beach or something, and its all cute and nice, maybe you even hire someone to catch it on camera

he is stunned and speechless for a hot minute, like he cannot breathe but don’t worry, he agrees eventually!!!

bolin wouldn’t want like a public public wedding because ngl once again he is a celebrity and stranger crazy danger

regardless it’ll be a bigger wedding because bolin feels like you deserve only the best and wants a big wedding himself, he would be really involved in planning so if you don’t wanna do that he’s perfectly fine with it and will handle everything

invites your close friends and friends of friends

cries when he sees you walk down the aisle like just cries, hes so happy and seeing you there just brings him more joy and he just :D

let korra be the best man 2020

the afterparty is going to be so intense ngl there is going to be a DJ and music ranges from slow dancing which is all sweet and romantic with bolin, to some rave stuff with people jumping up and down on the dance floor in the most uncomfy shoes.

honestly perfect i love it 10/10

#bolin x reader #bolin lok #bolin x you #bolin x y/n #lok bolin #lok bolin x you #lok bolin x reader #bolin lok x reader #bolin lok x you #legend of korra #lok #atla #avatar the last airbender #lok x reader #legend of korra x reader #bolin

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marinetteplztakeabreak · 3 years

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ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

#lies #ml lies #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #kagami tsurugi #ml spoilers #ml leaks #those are both super minor but i just want yo guve fair warning #ml theories #adrimi #adrigami #predictions #ml #long post #angst

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nothorses · 3 years

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Imma be real with you, I don't watch Contrapoints and when I asked a friend about her I was told that she'd done the whole antisemitic lizard people joke and apparently didn't apologise for it and now I'm like. Should I watch her anyway? Is she a bad person? Bc I don't wanna support an antisemite but at the same time idk the whole story

The situation in question is that she used a “lizard people” icon for a video in (I think?) 2017, which included a very direct and extended explanation that the people she was criticizing in the video were not “the jews”, and a deconstruction of the antisemitic trope + why it’s harmful.

The other gripe people have is that she sold a shirt with “lizard people” on it and the text “David Icke was right”. Her responses to criticism have essentially been along the lines of “well I sufficiently addressed antisemitism in the video, so the shirt’s fine”. Which really isn’t how that works.

She also changed the text of the shirt to “goddamn reptiles”, and whether you think that’s antisemitic depends on whether you think all “lizard people” jokes are antisemitic, which like... I do, but I don’t think everyone who makes them is. I am also a gentile, and you shouldn’t take my opinion as definitive.

The thing is, imo, that Contra has some legitimately good ideas and some legitimately good ways of saying them. A lot of her videos are great for their intended purpose: deconstructing common ideas in order to explain why they’re wrong. The vast majority of them are made specifically to make people more ignorant than her less ignorant, and they’re generally very good at doing that, which is why a lot of her fans are people who used to be bigots.

Contra gets criticism for things that genuinely do not deserve criticism, and things have been dragged out of context to a literal “I think Coolsville sucks” degree. A lot of that “criticism” has caused her legitimate trauma. She’s also made a lot of harmful mistakes, responded to criticism in genuinely shitty ways, and hurt actual people.

Given what I know of her, I don’t think she’s bigoted or hateful. I think she’s often impulsive, thoughtless, and defensive, and that has caused harm. And I think she’s legitimately grown over time, even if she’s not publicly performing regret in a satisfactory way.

She’s not a symbol, and she doesn’t represent anything. She’s a human. She does good, and she makes shitty mistakes, and I think both of those things are important. She’s complicated, and how you feel about her is entirely up to you.

#contrapoints #ive said before I wanna avoid this topic but like #fuck it yknow?#honestly the situation is super fascinating and horrifying for a lot of reasons #and I'd like to be able to talk about it more without fear of being misunderstood and harassed #not horses #Anon #Ask

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djemsostylist · 3 years

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Of Queens and Trash

Here’s the thing. SCK has been on a downward trend since 13. The breakup was long, getting together again was tiring, the amnesia plot was poorly handled and the mess that came following his recovery was, well, a mess. The necessary break for covid gave us a chance for a fresh start for Edser. All the bad stuff in the past, and a focus in the last episodes of them being able to finally fulfill all the promises they had not been able to. After all, this was a story that, at its core, was about two people who met and fell in love and who, no matter what, chose to be together. Invisible handcuffs. And with the return of the OG writer, it seemed we might finally get that. After 39 episodes of angst and only 7(?) of real togetherness, surely it was time? Forget the pain of the past, and start with Edser navigating their world together.

And then the trailer dropped. And all of a sudden, all the people who had spent months eviscerating Serkan for behaving badly in the 30s were celebrating this new plot, the “great angst” and Eda “being a Queen.”

For me, I can’t get over the hiding of the child. It's a hardline deal breaker. I don’t think it matters who writes it, I think it's an awful plotline. No matter how "good" the trailer looks or moments seem, I will remember that I was watching a show about two people who loved each other and never wanted to be apart, about a man who learned how to open his heart, and this ruined it all.

Now, I think it's worth noting that my hard line, in this particular case, is in response to Edser, if that makes sense. I’m not hardline, “if this is in a story I’m not watching”. If it works for the characters and story because that is the type of story being told, then fine.

I don't subscribe to the woke feminism brand of "all women are Queens and all men are Trash" which seems to be a trend of late (and not just in fandom). I think people are people and people are generally imperfect but also trying. I don’t think women, simply by virtue of carrying a child, get full say in what happens to the child, regardless of the father’s wishes. I'm not fond of a “hiding a kid storyline”, and while I get the whole "my body my choice" style of arguing, it took two people to make the baby. Two people get a say in what happens. I get you are growing the kid, but you didn't spontaneously conceive.

For me, Edser being apart and/or hiding a kid is a hardline. It doesn't fit with the characters as I know them and it doesn't fit with the storyline. And look--I hated the amnesia plot. I thought there were a literal million ways this could have been done better, but it's what we got. So for everyone suddenly defending this new plot, despite it making about as much sense as Eda getting married to make Serkan remember her, then that means everything goes. No blaming writers or ignoring canon...everything has context and meaning now. And since “it's realistic” is also a common refrain, then fine. Let’s go realistic.

Imagine being in a plane crash. You wake up, you have clear physical/mental blocks. For someone who likes to be in control, that's terrifying. You have a ring on your finger with a woman's name you don't know, and an entire year missing. You call the one person you know will come (since your parents and friends are useless) and she comes and tells you a story that jives. You can't remember shit and you keep getting flashes and your hands won't work, so you take what she tells you, because why would you have any reason to doubt? It’s not like you can remember anyway, and trying to remember hurts.

You finally go back home, and you recognize nothing about your own life. Friends, family...everything is different. Your mom is out, your dad is gone, your best friends are married. You don't even live in the same house, you have people working in your company you don’t know--even your dog is gone. And then you have a hysterical woman throwing pictures in your face of a man you don't recognize and your brain is still foggy and all your friends and family seem to be shrugging their shoulders at you.

You're terrified and alone and all you get is some vagueness about an epic love story and too much emotion and all you want to do is hide. From everything. Plus your heart is doing this thing every time the girl is near and you think you might be dying maybe and remember how your brother died?

So, the girl kisses you, you literally feel like you might be dying, and it's like naw. Fuck this. I'm getting back an ounce of control. So you propose to Selin. I mean you don’t love her and you barely want her but at least she is the same. At least she hasn’t changed, and at least she doesn’t stare at you with the weight of a million expectations that everyone else does. At least she doesn’t look at you and hope to see a man you can’t ever remember being.

But then the girl everyone claims is your soulmate is suddenly engaged to another man, and spends every moment after that claiming she hates you, she is over you, she is better off/happier without you, doesn't need you.

So it's like, okay, what is the truth. Your brain isn't helping, your friends aren't helping, she isn't helping. So you lash out, you close off, because really, what else is left. Your life isn’t your life, your mind isn’t your mind, you can’t even figure out what’s real and what isn’t. And she’s getting married and you want to die but she’s getting married and surely if she loved you she wouldn’t be doing this?

And then you get your memories back. Finally. Everything comes flooding back ,and it's a lot. You cope in shitty ways, you don't respond well, etc. You’ve returned from the dead twice, and everything feels just slightly off, but maybe you can make this work. At least you have her. After a few days, you’re feeling like your old self. You've got your memories, your girl, the possibility of the future you had snatched twice, and then BOOM. She rejects you, out of nowhere.

Won't talk, won't communicate, you have no idea what the fuck is happening. She’s crying and sad but also not leaving but also not staying and your brain can’t quite work things out but all you can do is promise that you love her, only her, always her, forever. Surely she must know that by now, right?

And then she tells you about the baby. You can't remember the sex of course, but then you find out it probably happened while your brain was fucked, and you barely have time to process this before oh yeah the love of your life is leaving you bc she would rather you raise a baby with your rapist. And suddenly you might be dying, again.

But you stop her. You stop her and even though she says she didn’t come back for you, why else would she have stayed? So, you finally get her back, she tattoos you on her finger and maybe just maybe everything will be fine when BOOM. Cancer. You aren't even over the other shit, and you have a fucking tumor. You are 30 years old, you've survived a plane crash, amnesia, and now you have a tumor. How many times can a person die?

And so you don’t cope well. You withdraw, you back away. Your brother died when he was young, you know what that does to a person. You know what it did to your family. You have this fear that curls around your heart that says “but what if she becomes my mother.” And she goes. She leaves and she takes your heart and your child (that you don’t even know about) and it’s like...fuck. Again. Because everyone leaves you, eventually. And somehow, it’s always your fault.

So, what I'm saying is, Eda endured a lot, sure. She was hurt. Their breakup in 14 was hard and I’m not denying that (although there is another post I could write about how since Eda never actually uses her words to tell him how she feels he can, perhaps, be understood in assuming that breaking up after barely being together would hurt but also that she would move on and live her life happily without him. Which I guess season 2 proves…) Losing Serkan to an accident/amnesia was hard, looking at the body of the man she loves but not seeing the man she loves must have been agony. But Serkan was fucking wrecked. So instead of choosing to write a plot where they both get to heal, where they both get to explore their pain and work through it together, we get Serkan who reverted to being a robot to cope with massive trauma and PTSD, and essentially is abandoned by everyone, again.

I guess what I'm saying is, if staying with him and supporting him when he was dealing with trauma was too much for her, then fine.That is very true for some people, and it’s certainly realistic. But I don't really think that jives with Eda and her character, and while it isn't a trauma competition, I'd still think Serkan comes out a winner here. Eda lost her parents, which was awful. She lost him, but she got him back. Twice. His trauma is losing his brother, being abandoned by his parents, a plane crash, amnesia, emotional manipulation/abuse and cancer. And then he gets punished by having his daughter taken away from him because he was having a hard time coping. Keeping a kid a secret isn't "protecting the child" it's punishing the father.

Tl;dr The direction they have taken the characters is gross for both mains, but if people are trying to justify Eda keeping his child from him because “he deserves it” or “she did what was best for her” then I think we maybe haven’t been watching the same show. Even if he said “I don’t want kids,” saying that to a hypothetical child is very different then being told “a baby is very much our reality.” Because that's the crux right? It's not that he decided he just didn't want to be a father ever, he's scared of having a family and losing them or of them losing him. And then she made that very fear be realized. Which is tragic and quite the opposite of what his life partner needed to do in that situation.

Bitte.

Thanks to @lolo-deli for the proofread and the final lines, you are the best. And for putting up with my uncontrollable ranting about this for days.

#sen çal kapımı #sck #serkan bolat #eda yıldız #SCK is officially over for me #so I’m making funerary arrangements to say goodbye to yet another fandom.#this is my eulogy #also this is a serkan bolat protection blog #jesus i sound like a 14 year old fangirl #whatever #its been a minute since i have been one of those #let me relive the days in peace

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alovesongshewrote · 4 years

Text

Jolene | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot: Douxie teaches you how to play the guitar after a nasty break-up.

Word Count: 1,794

Warnings: Angst, descriptions of being in a toxic relationship, break-ups, crying, cheating, the gif has nothing to do with the plot i just like it

A/N: So, while this is cute towards the end and everything, I just want to apologize for anything that might be triggering. I got out of a very nasty relationship recently and I needed to vent. Thank the gods for the wizard boy, amirite? Anyway, thank you so much for reading, AATY will be updated soon, it’s just taking longer because I want to stay accurate to the actual episodes of wizards. Love you guys, please enjoy <3

(Also, try reading this while listening to Jolene and tell me what you think, bc I never did that and I want to know)

Tag List: @furblrwurblr

Looking back on it, you should have broken things off sooner.

Literally, every flag in that relationship had been red, but you ignored them all hoping that he’d get better. That he’d start to listen to you without responding in a resentful way, that he’d stop trying to control you, that he’d learn to respect your boundaries without a fight. It never happened.

You tried to bring up your grievances with him, but he always tried to turn it back on you, making it seem like your fault. It didn’t work. You were smart enough to recognize manipulation and gaslighting, but you weren’t smart enough to leave.

And then he cheated on you. That was enough.

You ended things as respectfully as possible, even though he really didn’t deserve it. You didn’t even mention his infidelity or the fact that he had never respected you. All you did was tell him that it wasn’t a good time for a relationship. He tried to make you feel guilty, but he never once asked you to stay or told you he loved you. You did the right thing. You knew that.

But you felt like crap after it was over.

All you did for the next two days was lounge around in your pyjamas and listen to ‘Jolene,’ by Dolly Parton over and over again. It wasn’t productive, but it was what you needed.

It made your friends a little nervous though.

Throughout your little break from society, you'd received a decent amount of texts from concerned friends who weren’t super sure what was going on but wanted to support you nonetheless.

Douxie was the first person you’d told.

He was the friend you trusted the most.

Of course, he was concerned for you. So concerned, in fact, that he straight-up ran to your apartment to spend time with you. And you really appreciated that.

You’d let him into your small home, which was surprisingly clean for the spiral you’d been going down. The only thing that a person could find odd was the music you were listening to. It was just ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton, over and over again.

It wasn’t exactly his type of music, but he respected your coping mechanisms. And he had to admit, the guitar was really nice.

“So, how’re you holding up,”

“I’m okay I guess. Better than I thought I’d be. It just kinda hurts, y’ know?”

“I know, darling, I know. Here, sit down, I’m making you some tea,”

“You don’t have to-”

“I’m going to,”

You smiled, watching him walk into your kitchen before you flopped down onto your couch. The tea didn’t take long, and before you knew it, Douxie was on the couch next to you.

The warmth from the cup was nice, simulating human contact. You missed human contact. And now you had no one to give it to you. Not like you did before, but still, the thought stung.

You didn’t realize there were tears in your eyes until Douxie’s hand was on your shoulder. His hazel eyes peering into yours. You hoped he didn’t see how hurt you really were.

He did.

“Oh, love, come ‘ere,”

More tears came to your eyes as Douxie came closer, wrapping you in the best hug you’d had in months. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you. He just held you close and let you cry into his shoulder for as long as you needed. And this was what you needed.

It took you about ten minutes to cry yourself out. Douxie didn’t mind. He was going to be there for you, no matter what, and if that meant his shirt got a little damp, he didn’t care. You were more important.

“Thanks, Doux,” you said, voice rough from crying, “Oh, god. I’m sorry,”

“You don’t need to apologize. You needed to vent your feelings, I’m just glad I could help,”

“Me too,” you pulled back, just enough to see his face, “I’m still going to apologize for getting your shirt wet though,”

Douxie laughed, “That’s fine, (Y/N), I care more about you than the shirt,”

You didn’t say anything. If you did you’d cry again.

So, you just sat there, relaxing with your friend, drinking tea and listening to Jolene on repeat. Your eyes were closed, your head on his shoulder, and his arm around you. It was nice. Really nice. Better than anything in your actual relationship.

And then you had an idea.

“Hey, Douxie? You do music, yeah?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Do you think you could teach me how to play this on the guitar?”

“If you want me to I can,”

“I think I’d like that. I want to make something good out of this. It can’t be all heartbreak,”

“You’re right, darling, it can’t. We won’t let it,”

You smiled at him, making his whole being feel warm, “Thank you,”

“It’s my pleasure. I can pick you up tomorrow if you’d like?”

“That sounds good,” you said, relaxing back into your place at his side.

The two of you stayed like that for another hour. You could have stayed there forever, but you wanted Douxie to get home before it got too dark. Weird things happened in Arcadia at night, and wizard or not, you’d prefer it if he stayed safe.

You said goodbye in a moment of tension. Not the same angry tension you’d known with your ex, but something new. Something much softer. You realized then that you wanted to kiss Douxie. That kissing him wouldn’t be a chore, something you did to keep up appearances. It wouldn’t be something that was done to you because someone else wanted it. This would be something you did because you wanted to. But you didn’t kiss him. Not yet.

The next day, Douxie was at your door, ready to walk you from your apartment to his. It wasn’t a long walk by any means, but it was enough to fit in some quirky banter. It was more than enough for you to feel safe again.

“Do you think pigeons have feelings?” you asked as Douxie unlocked the door.

“Probably. We could ask Archie, he might know?”

“That sounds like a plan,”

He let you into his home, which was just as you remembered it. Comfortable, a bit scrappy, but in a way that made you feel comfortable. Right now, Douxie’s apartment felt more like home than yours did.

“You get the guitar, I’ll make tea,” you said, turning to face him.

“You don’t have to-”

“Ah, yes, but I’m going to,”

He smiled as you walked away.

One pot of tea later, a guitar was in your hands. It was taking you a hot minute to get the chords right, but you were nothing if not determined. Douxie was an amazing teacher. He was patient, calm, and not at all condescending. It was a nice change from what you were used to.

“Here, let me,” he said, moving his hands to rest over yours, positioning your hands properly, “Like this,”

“Thank you, Douxie,”

“It’s not a problem, love,”

“No, I mean, seriously. You didn’t have to do this. Thank you,”

He moved his eyes from your hands to your eyes, “(Y/N), of course I had to do this. You deserve the world and better,” he took a deep breath, “Love, I’m so sorry that that bastard hurt you. He did so many awful things to you, and you’re incredible for handling it the way that you did,”

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah? You handled it like an adult. I think I would have killed him,”

You laughed. You wouldn’t mind it so much if Douxie fought your ex. You didn’t want him dead, but if your wizard friend could kick his ass a little, that would be nice. Of course, the first one who got a chance at knocking some sense into that slimy git would be you, but after that Douxie could have his turn. The thought made you laugh harder.

It only took a minute for both you and Douxie to be on the floor, laughing. It wasn’t even that funny, but crying from laughter felt a lot better than crying from heartbreak. Eventually, you picked up the guitar again, but it took a while. You couldn’t get enough of Douxie’s laugh, and he couldn’t get enough of yours.

Before he walked you home, Douxie grabbed your shoulders, “You know you deserve better than him, right?”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I know. But it’s nice to hear someone else say it,”

“I’m glad I could be of service,”

You giggled again, still wanting to kiss him. But you didn’t. Not yet.

It took you a little while to learn all of Jolene. Some parts were harder than others, but eventually, you got it. Douxie had never been prouder.

After that, you were addicted. You got Douxie to teach you other songs. It didn’t take much convincing. He loved listening to you play. He loved a lot more than that, and you loved a lot more than the guitar.

It had been a few months since the break-up.

You were in Douxie’s apartment, Archie curled up by the window, the wizard himself in the kitchen, and you on the couch, trying to get a chord right. It wasn’t going well. You groaned loudly, waking Archie.

“You don’t have more questions about pigeons, do you? Because I told you, I will not be speaking with them again-”

“No, Arch, it’s not that. It’s just this freaking chord is driving me insane,”

“Ah,” the familiar said, looking between you and the guitar, “I’d help if I had hands. Good luck, though,”

“Thanks, Arch,” you returned your focus to the chord, still frustrated. Then Douxie’s hands were on yours.

“You’ve almost got it, it’s just-” he adjusted your hands. As he did, you noticed how close he was, seated behind you on the couch.

“Thank you, Doux. Not just for this, I mean for everything, you’ve been amazing the past few months, and I-”

“(Y/N), I would do anything for you,”

You turned as much as you could, facing him, “Really?” you asked, hearing your own smirk in your voice.

Douxie laughed slightly, “Really. I-” he bit his lip, driving you more insane than any guitar chord ever could, “I think I love you, (Y/N),”

This was it.

You (finally) kissed him.

And it wasn’t a chore or something that was done to you, it was something you did that you both wanted to do. It was soft and safe, and it felt good. It felt like you were loved the way you deserved to be loved. This was the world and better.

“I love you too, Douxie,”

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lexieelouuu11 · 4 years

Text

HC: Peter Parker didn’t know he was Bi until Harley Keener

So this took a turn I wasn’t expecting, also it’s a lot longer than I was expecting I’m sorry also Idk how to do the cut thing so my bad

TW: Mentions of Rape

Okay so Peter Parker is *Straight*

He likes girls, really likes girls

He literally went on a date with Liz (it may have ended with her moving away bc he put her dad in jail but that’s besides the point)

And he may have had a brief crush on MJ

So Peter Parker is *Straight*

Boys are gross, and trust Peter he knows

He doesn’t ever want to think of men in a sexual matter

He 10/10 supports anyone who comes out to him

But anytime he thinks about how boys could possibly be into him, his brain immediately goes to Skip Wescott

And how Peter was 9 when it started and that he never wants to be in a position like that again

It was horrible and scary, and Peter Parker likes women and only women, and he will never be anyone’s Skip. And he will never put himself in a position where there can be another Skip.

So Peter Parker thinks men suck.

(Obviously beside Ned and Mr Stark, they’re cool, but Peter has known Ned forever and Mr Stark is literally a super hero, and Peter only became such a huge fan of Iron Man and Tony Stark because of what happened)

His therapist tells him it was his way of coping with what happened

Then one day Happy picks Peter up at school on an non-lab day because Mr. Stark has someone that he wants Peter to meet

Peter really hopes its the Black Widow (because they’re both spider themed heroes !! how cool !!!)

Peter meets Mr Stark and this mystery person in the living room

Mr Stark introduces Peter Parker to Harley Keener

Harley Keener looks hot good, hes tall and wears a leather jacket and cowboy boots with skinny jeans. He looks so out of place, but he doesn’t look bothered by it either

Peters heart skips a beat, but Peter chalks it up to be anxiety

“Hey there Peter, I’m Harley”

Oh my god he has an accent, an actual southern accent

And doesn’t that just make Peters heart race

“Tony here tells me you’re a real Einstein” He laughed

Harley laughed. Peter is not laughing

Peter hears his blood rushing, and feels himself go cold. His spidey-sense is just going off

Peter looks to Mr Stark whose smile falters at the look of pure-fear on Peters face

Mr Stark doesn’t know. Peter never told him. Any files about what happened never include Peters name, or any family members name, so Mr Stark wouldn’t have stumbled on it, unless he went into Peter’s Therapists notes, which he hasn’t because he may be nosy but he isn’t invasive

Peter knows what this is, he knows he’s going into a panic attack. He was triggered and he needs to get out. Out out out before anything can happen

“So-sorry, I’ve gotta, I gotta go, something came up wi-with May. It was um, it was nice meeting you Harley.”

Peter left, and made it back home, though he doesn’t remember how he made it from Manhattan to Queens and into his apartment.

He’s home and it’s not the safest place, can’t go into his bedroom but it’s better than there

Tony beat him to the apartment (without Harley), already sitting with May when Peter walks in

May is quick to give Peter his favourite over-sized sweater (it makes him feel safe) sitting him down in the living room, putting a knit blanket over him, and giving a bottle of water.

“Pete, you okay kid?” Mr Stark asks

And Peter is fine, he always has been, so he nods

“Do you want to talk about why you were triggered into a panic attack” His voice is soft as he speaks to Peter, like Peter would break

May sits next to Peter, pulling him into her

“Adrian Toomes was not the first person Spider-Man sent to jail” Peter started the story like this because it was easier to tell it, his therapist may not be happy with it but she’ll be happy he’s making progress by telling some

“Spider-Man was 11 when he sent his first person to jail. It was a year long trial, one kid versus one 18 year old. He used to call Spider-Man, Einstein”

Peter seemed to be done with his explanation after this, deeming it enough information for Tony to understand what happened

It wasn’t

But May sending a text that said “Search Skip Wescott” gave Tony the opportunity to find out what happened later

(Tony is really pissed when he reads what happens, and makes sure Skip get transferred to worst prison and that he can never leave)

“Okay, Pete, I’ll talk to Harley about not calling you that. But Harley will be going to the same school as you, okay? That’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

After that first night Peter goes back to being his usual chipper self

And Harley starts at Midtown

Peter was just rounding the corner outside of the school to see Harley getting dropped off by Happy

After a moment of hesitation Peter went up to Harley and offered to help him on his first day (because Peter will not let his overwhelming fear take over and he will be friendly for the sake of Mr Stark and that is all)

Despite Peter’s uneasiness and distrust Peter and Harley get on like a house on fire

Peter started to feel really close to Harley, and Harley would often throw his arm around Peter’s shoulder and call him things like sugar, or sweet thing or darling

And Peter liked that a lot, except he didn’t because it was weird (but he really did)

And Peter would always go tomato red whenever Harley was around

Even Ned and MJ recognized the crush Peter had on Harley and vice versa

“Dude when are you going to make a move on him?”

“What the fuck, Ned? I’m straight, Harley and I are friends”

“Peter are you being serious right now? You both obviously have a crush on each other. Harley knows you like him too.”

“The fuck MJ, I expected you to be more understanding about this. We are friends. Maybe I come off as gay to you because I choose to respect people and am not the exact definition of a ‘toxic male,’ but I don’t fucking like you guy assuming that I like men. Men ain’t shit and I’m not going to find myself in another situation like I used too. I like women”

“What’s your issue Peter? You homophobic now? Didn’t peg you as that.”

“Fuck MJ, this isn’t your business. I’m an ally, people love who they love, but I don’t like men, and you need to stop pushing that on me. I have my reasons, you have yours.”

“Peter, the way you’re going off on MJ isn’t really helping your point much-”

“Would the two of you just shut up about this. I don’t like other guys. Women are it for me. I will not be stuck under another man. Fuck, I’m straight and you need to stop pushing the idea that I’m into Harley just because you want me to live out your little fantasies of what my life should be like.”

Peter didn’t talk to them the rest of the day. Not because he was angry but because he was embarrassed that he said too much

At the tower Peter and Harley were cuddled together sitting next to each other watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking

Peter really loved Harley’s Blue eyes

And his accent

And his face

And Harley in general

But totally only in a friends way

They’re bros

“I want to try something real quick, you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am”

And then Harley kisses Peter

Harley Kisses him

And Peter freaks out

Without even thinking about it, Peter pushes Harley off of him and bolts, leaving the tower without his phone, shoes or bag, Peter just leaves

Once Peter gets outside he throws up, before his anxiety takes over again and he just runs and runs and runs

Harley is left now sitting on the ground, tears in his eyes, confused and hurt about what just happened

Tony makes it to Harley in record time thanks to Friday, and without a question Harley explains what happened

“I thought he liked me too, Tony, I really did. I don’t know how I messed up this bad.”

“I’m sorry Harls, Peter has been hurt a lot and I just don’t think he was ready yet emotionally for a relationship.”

Tony knows that Peter has probably just been triggered. He’s only heard Peter talk about girls romantically, never boys, but he was sure that Peter and Harley were going to be together at some point

Once Harley finally calms down enough and goes to his room Tony calls May

“May, is Peter with you, he left all his stuff here.”

“No, I thought he was staying with you tonight. what happened?”

“Harley kissed Pete, and he freaked out and ran out without any of his stuff, I was hoping he was with you. His phone is here too.”

“I think I know where he is, College Point Park. Ben and I used to take him there after any court date.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“What about Harley?”

“He’s already asleep, I’ll meet you there.”

Tony and May get there in record time, finding Peter sitting on the rocks facing the East River.

“Peter?” May called out.

Peter turned around, his face clearly red, tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t understand” Peter finally said as May and Tony got close enough

“What don’t you understand?” Tony asked

“Harley kissed me. He kissed me. I expected to hate it. But I didn’t. I liked it when he kissed me. I should hate it though. He’s a boy. I shouldn’t have liked it.”

“Peter it’s okay if you liked Harley Kissing you, and it’s okay if you like him romantically too” May tried to comfort

“But it’s not May, because if I like Harley, and I like him kissing me then that means that I liked it when Skip kissed me. And I didn’t like anything he did to me.”

“Peter, I like when Pepper and I kiss, but that doesn’t mean that if May were to kiss me that I’d like it. Same thing goes for you kiddo.”

“I like girls though. I can’t like Harley.”

“You can like both boys and girls. You could be Bisexual or maybe not. No matter what it’s okay.” May said again.

“I need time. I can’t- I need Dr Rosenburg and I need to not be Spider-Man and I need to not see Harley or Ned or MJ. I need time.”

“Okay baby, you can have as much time as you need.”

Peter ends up taking a week off of school, with daily appointments with his therapist. He went completely ghost mode. Wasn’t active as Spider-Man, wasn’t active on social media. Didn’t read or respond to anyone’s messages. Only talking to May or Tony and only if they were at the apartment.

After his week off, Peter finally reappeared at school, still having not responded to anyone’s messages, preferring to just deal with things in person.

“Peter oh my god you’re alive we all thought you died.” Ned shouted from down the hall going to greet his friend, MJ and Harley in tow.

“I’m fine guys, I just had some stuff from the past come back up that needed to be dealt with before I did anything that would hurt other people.”

“What are you talking about Parker, you wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone anyone else.” MJ said confused

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready too but I’m not there yet. My therapist thinks I made good progress this week though.”

“Your therapist?” Ned asked.

“Uh yeah, sorry. MJ, Ned, I really messed up with how I treated you guys the other day, regarding my sexuality, turns out I may of been wrong and you guys were right, I just repressed any of those emotions due to trauma. So, I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.”

Ned and MJ obviously forgive Peter bc duh they’re friends

“I would like to talk to Harley privately though, so you guys wouldn’t mind?”

So Peter pulls Harley to the side finally getting the chance to talk to him, and wanted to say his words before he lost his nerves.

“Peter I’m sorry-”

“I liked when you kissed me. That’s why I freaked out. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like that, or men. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I wasn’t prepared and my brain automatically went to a dark place. I like you Harley Keener, but I have problems and I want you to be aware of that before we do anything.”

“Okay.”

“If we are going to try this I need you to be aware of my limits. I have a lot of them apparently, and I’m not sure if more will come up or not, but my therapist said that I should talk to you about this stuff before we do anything. If you still like me, that is.”

“Peter Parker you are too precious, of course I still like you, I don’t plan on not liking you for a while yet.”

And then Peter smiles and he feels relieved, because getting to this point took a lot of work and now he’s here and he likes a boy who likes him back who won’t hurt him

#parkner #parley #peter parker #peterparker #harleykeener #harley keener #bi peter parker #bi peter #irondad #spiderson #insecure #skipwescott #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu

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interstellix · 3 years

Text

to those who made my 2020 a little better,

i just wanted to let each one of you know that you mean tons to me and that you truly have, in one way or another, made this year better. i’ll be honest, 2020 was just not it for me, a whole lot of shit happened and i’ve had countless of days where i’ve been too tired in ways i can’t explain. at the same time though, good things have happened as well, one of them being the people i’ve met on tumblr; some of you i’ve been friends with since before, some of you i got to know this year and some of you even very very recently. still, i can’t thank these people enough because they’ve all been part of making this year less shitty than it would’ve been otherwise. thus, i wanted to at least let the mentioned ones know that they’re the ones part of that

now, i’m really not good with words, and i absolutely Hate being sappy, yet that’s exactly what i’m being here fjkdfk. i’m deadass out here cringing at my own words but please bear with me this one time LMAOO.

tldr; ily and u’re all v v precious people to me

@ohmyhao i don't think i'll ever be able to explain just how precious you are to me, no joke :( i'm almost 100% you're the one who's been sticking around my blog(s) since the very start and i want you to know that, even if we don't talk as often, i'm grateful for each and every day knowing i deadass have someoone like you around. i mean, i'll be honest, i still question your choice of favorite haikyuu characters because oi🤮kawa bUT!! i'll forgive you bc!! you're literally among the cutest people i've ever come across (don't even think of arguing with me this time), you're no joke one of the reasons i continued staying on tumblr and getting to know you is something i'll always feel blessed over 🥰

@kachulein LOL OK i could go on for hours and hours here, mostly because of how many and all the different things we talk about stuff that just shouldn't see the light of the world included. talking to you is something that never fails to make me feel happy but also incredibly at ease; i really, really want you to know that something i’m incredibly grateful for is how i’m comfortable enough with you to be able to talk about things i otherwise just can’t :( aside from that, listen, 99% of our conversation have me wheezing my throat off, like it can get weird af but it still has me laughing. something else i’m really happy is when you put in your two cents in our conversation, i’ve said it before but as someone who struggles with seeing things from more than one perspective, i really admire hearing about your own! all in all, i love you tons and tons, you’re an incredible person through and through and i truly appreciate the time i get to talk to you!

@starryarles i don’t think i tell you this enough but?? mae?? i literally love you so much, legit l-o-mae-l??? i still laugh my ass of looking back at the time you found my other blog and i had to guess which one of my mutuals you were LMAOO listen the panic fjijfkjk. anyway, i absolutely adore every message, ask and comment i receive from you, no joke i always get really happy from each one of them and tbh?? during that long period of time we didn’t talk i genuinely thought you hated me or something HAHAH. turns out that that was not true at all or so i hope and not to sound like a sap but i’m deadass overjoyed that we started talking again. and really, you’re way, way too supportive, i literally don’t deserve how much love i’ve received from you even but please know that i’m grateful for every bit of it and that i love you stupid much and hope we can have another good year together :’)

@milkteandhan you?? are also?? one of the few who have been dealing with my ass literally from the very start?? because i seriously can’t remember having been on tumblr without you around?? BUT ALSO YOU LITTLE SHIT IDGI you bully me to the ends of the fucking world but for some reason?? i still love you?? >:(( ok but jokes aside, i really do love you a lot, i mean i love you as much as you make me suffer and that? that’s a lot :) you drop by my inbox with either the cutest/funniest message or pictures that make me wanna dig my grave but either way, they always make me smile like a fucking moron and listen LISTEN. i really wanna explain to you how much you mean to me but idk where to start bc i can’t. literally just can’t. find the words for that. but all i can say is that meeting you is something i’ll thank any and every damn god out there for and i’m not even religious, like at all fjkdjfkd so yeah. mwah

@astronomlns my god you bitch you bully me almost on the daily and then you?? have the audacity to deny it?? but! that said, i don’t mind lol. one of my biggest regret what goes my “”online-life”” is the awfully long time we didn’t talk but that’s also why i’m mad happy that we actually do now, almost every day even. i’ve already said this before but have the friendly reminder that you’re among the few that i feel really safe when talking. we’ve also pointed out this before but it’s almost been two whole years since we became friends and i hope you can stick with my shit for another whole year. again, you bully me a lot, but i still love you a whole damn lot, never forget that

@lixchannie i’ll be flat out honest, idk what the hell i’m supposed to say here. despite all bullshit that has happened you’ve been there with me this entire, entire time ever since we became friends and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to explain how thankful i am for that. we don’t talk every day and imy when we don’t lmao but tbh i’m fine with that because i’m genuinely glad knowing that i even get to have someone like you in my life. so yeah don’t leave me bc i’ll deadass hunt you to the end of the world

the rest of the “”kin-gang”” like some like to call it @bubbleskz @berryyyyyy @skzbbie we don’t talk as often, v v rarely actually but i want y’all to know that i don’t appreciate and love you any less than i did before we started somewhat losing touch. i don’t like sounding cheesy and shit fjkfkds but let it slide this time, the times we do talk are times i treasure more than i can explain, deadass. i feel like i don’t tell you this enough but you guys are better friends than i could ever ask for. again, we don’t talk as much, but 2020 would’ve sucked a thousand times more if we didn’t talk a lot, so thank you tons for being part of it and i hope you’ll be there for 2021 too :’)

@soulkhunscompass LISTEN. listen. i’ll say it, i’ll just fucking say it: i don’t deserve you at fucking all :///// you’re way too sweet to me, talking to you always makes me smile and laugh, esp when you promise making me food one day ffjdkfjkds. but somehow?? at the same time, and idk how you do it, but somehow SOMEHOW you never fail to make me feel appreciated whenever you tell me sweet ass things. ‘in return’, never forget that both that and you are something i appreciate way way more k >:( and also >:(( never forget that i love you so much, literally more than i love how the corner of felix’s eyes crinkle up whenever he smiles and that’s,,, that’s a damn lot tbh 👉👈

@chwe-yeeun honestly i’m lowkey sobbing while writing this. you’re one of those i only got to know this year, in fact just a few months ago but nonetheless, you’re still one of those i treasure a whole damn lot. like you said, you love making me suffer with pretty boys, it hurts but it’s still funny lmao, i appreciate but also feel bad whenever you have to deal with my bullshit whenever i come crying to you over eric those pretty boys, aNd ThE tImEs yOu SeNd ThAt CuTe HuG?? i return them all, like fr take my heart i don’t need it, it’s your for the taking like literally fuck it. moral of the story, i love you tons and thank you for being there with and for me :’)

@riskyrenjun i might as well start off and say that i fucking screeched when i saw you in my notifs and mention my content on your blog bc?? the queen herself?? noticed me?? wtf?? and i’ll be honest, i’ve been following you for a good while and for the longest time ever i wanted to hit you up bc you’ve literally always seemed so precious sO?? dO YOU EVEN KNOW??? hoW hAPPY i am?? that we actually?? are friends?? i’ve done nothing to deserve that but here we are fjkflkd. i saw your end-of-the-year post, i’m sorry i haven’t responded to it and that i’ve been so shit at talking lately, but i promise i’ll try to get better at it lmao so!!! i hope you’ll still stick around with me at that point because i can be really fucking damn annoying 🥺 long story short pray for a good 2021 bc you’ll probably regret ever even wanting to talk to me once we’ve become closer lol <3

there are a few other friends and mutuals i wanna include here; i don’t talk as much with some of y’all, others are people i’m still getting to know but nevertheless, i want you to know that meeting each one of you here on this hellsite is a blessing in itself and that it’s one of the things i’m happy 2020 has actually given me :’)

@0325-4419 @marculees @jwisungchan @stealerz @ciiikb @zoey-angel-istaeminsbitchnow @yangles @violethhj @littlefallenrebel

alllso to dear dc servers: @planteii @joey-yellow-county @sakura-writes-stuff @bound-writings @koukounuts @classicalsylph the rest of the server bc i’m struggling really hard to find them // @crimsoncitrus @everythingsinred and the rest of that server because again i’m struggling to find the url to the rest fjdkfkd; i’m not particularly active in neither but i still want you to know that i’m very grateful for being able to be part of two v v warm and welcoming servers, so thank you for that 🥺

#FUCk this got longer than i thought fjfjld

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13-reasons-ideas · 4 years

Note

I love that you’re one of the few writers that will write about Monty. I don’t support what he did but I love how much of a complex character do you think you could do a imagine where the reader used to date Monty but broke up bc of his recklessness. She started dating Justin but found out he cheated on her by hooking up with Jessica. Then Monty sneaks into her bedroom window and comforts her and it’s fluffy

“I’m sorry Montgomery.”

“Why (Y/N)?”

“I just can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep watching you self-destruct. I thought that when we got together, that maybe you would stop? That you would realize that your reckless behaviour had to come to an end? You’re an adult now. Your behaviour has actual, real consequences.”

“Self-destruct? You think that’s what it is?”

“I don’t know Monty. That’s just it. You don’t let me in. I never know what is going on in your head. I get you don’t like talking about stuff, but when you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re supposed to talk to them.”

“This is stupid.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. But you can’t sit here and tell me you haven’t seen this coming. Your behaviour needs to change. Your recklessness needs to stop. Before you do something you really regret or gets you hurt. Or worse. I just can’t be around to see it.”

“(Y/N) please. I’m trying.” He said, grabbing my hand.

“I really am sorry Montgomery. I hope you figure things out.” I smiled sadly at him before walking away, trying my damnedest to hold back tears. I couldn’t bring myself to look back.

TWO MONTHS LATER

I walked into school with my bag slung haphazardly over my shoulder, listening to a podcast on my phone. Before I could make my way to my locker, I was stopped abruptly by a blue and white jacket, causing me to stumble.

“Oof.” I grunted.

“Shit, sorry.” I heard Justin Foley, er… Jensen. Foley-Jensen? say.

“Yeah, whatever.” I replied, trying to walk away from him. Birds of a feather flock together. Same principle for jocks.

“Actually hey (Y/N). Wait up a second.”

I stopped and turned to him, “yes Justin? What can I do for you?”

“Well, when you put it that way, you can let me take you to dinner on Saturday.” He told me, rather than asked. I think I saw his chest puff out a bit.

“Uh, let me think for a minute about that.” I said, fully intending to say no. Suddenly I saw a familiar flannel shirt coming towards us. Making a show of thinking about it before responding, “pick me up at 7. I’ll text you my address.” I turned and walked away. Behind me I could practically hear Montgomery ringing Justin’s neck in his head. As I made my way to physics, I felt someone’s eyes on me. I didn’t need to turn to know who was watching.

Justin kept his word and was outside my house at 6:55 on Saturday. My mom let him in as I was grabbing my coat from my room. “Samantha is just about ready Justin, why don’t you have a seat.” I heard her say to him. Oh no, not the seat trick.

Running out of my room with my coat, I yelled, “that’s okay mom. I’m ready. He doesn’t need to sit.” When I got to the top of the stairs, I stopped. “Hey Justin.”

“Hey Sam.” He waved, “you look pretty tonight.”

I giggled quietly, “thanks.” I haven’t giggled in a long time. Pulling on a pair of worn chucks, I pulled on my coat and Justin led me out to the car. “Bye Mom. Don’t wait up.”

We joked around in the car a bit on the way to the restaurant. “Wait, so you actually told Clay that you’re a ‘fucking awesome driver’ and he believed you? Clay?”

“Yes. And I am, or had you not noticed?” He confirmed, motioning to the steering wheel with one hand.

“No, no I noticed. I’m just surprised Clay agreed. It took him like eight years to acknowledge you as more than ‘that kid’ or ‘ew Justin’.”

“Well, detoxing in a guy’s bedroom can do things to your relationship.”

“You puked on his bed, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… not my finest moment. At least it wasn’t Tony’s jacket.”

“Meh, happens to the best of us. Sometimes it happens. You’re right though. If it was Tony’s jacket, he would have killed you so you were all dead.”

“As opposed to?”

“Just mostly dead.”

Justin laughed heartily at the cheesy joke, “That was a good movie.”

We arrived at the local Italian restaurant and Justin was a wonderful gentleman. He opened my door for me, and we walked hand in hand to the door, which he also opened for me. After we were seated and had ordered, we continued our conversation from the car. “So, skipping over the ‘I was friends with Bryce Walker and that was a time’ thing, who are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ve known each other since we were in middle school and all I know about you is you’re a jock, you were friends with Bryce, you dated Jessica Davis, and you were adopted by the Jensen’s for reasons I don’t think we need to discuss too much right now.”

“What do you want to know?”

“What do you like?”

“Like in general?”

“Yes. What does Justin like?”

“Hmmm… okay. Justin likes crappy movies.”

“Okay. What else do you like?”

“Annoying Clay.”

“Well that’s a given. Something I don’t know please?”

“You.” He responded, taking a sip of his water.

I blushed, and played with a strand of my hair, “oh?”

“Yeah. Why else would I have asked you to dinner?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t want to go to a restaurant by yourself?”

“Oh, sweetie. I wouldn’t just ask you for that. I would bring Clay or something. Or put my big boy pants on and come by myself.”

“Okay, okay. I believe you.” I surrendered as our meals came. I tried to hold back a very not first date appropriate moan as I took a bite. My eyes widened instead and Justin chuckled. At least, until he had a bite of his own food. His eyes widened and rolled back slightly. Wow. That’s… wow.

After a few more bites of the wonderful food, Justin directed his attention back to me, “what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What do you like?”

“Oh umm, I like to run.” I said simply. I usually save the absentee father thing for the third date.

“That’s cool. What do you like about it?”

“I like that I can do it by myself and its just me, whatever I’m listening to at the time, and the pavement. I can just focus on that.”

“I can understand that. What else do you like?”

“I like art.”

“I know. I’ve seen you at lunch, hunched over your sketchbook. You always look so focused.”

“It’s nice to have something specific to focus on and get an end result that lasts a lifetime.”

“Can I see some of your drawing sometime?”

“Sure. Only if you let me draw you though.”

“Like one of your French girls?”

“No, you perv. You.”

“Okay, deal.”

“Great. I can’t wait.”

After dinner was done, we made a stop at Monet’s for some dessert. We split a slice of cake and a cookie before calling it a night. He drove me home and we sat in the car for a while, neither of us wanting the night to end. “I should probably head inside. It’s getting late.” I whispered.

“You should. But do you want to?” he whispered back, reaching over to turn my face towards him.

“No.” I whispered back.

“Me either.”

My eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips. He nodded almost imperceptibly, and I leaned in slightly to place a chaste kiss on his lips. They were smooth and tasted like vanilla.

I pulled away first, not really wanting to. “I should go inside now.” I whispered softly, so as not to ruin our moment.

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Okay.” I nodded and reached for the door handle.

“Bye (Y/N).”

“Bye Justin.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He’s really trying to drag this out.

“Bye. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and see you at school on Monday.”

“Okay.” He nodded and I took that as my queue to exit the vehicle. He waited for me to unlock the door and enter the house before leaving. I waved to him from my doorway as he backed out of my driveway and made his way home. That was perfect.

Justin called me the next day around one and we spent two hours on the phone together, just talking about random stuff. I learned of his very odd dislike of watermelon and he listened intently as I explained various art mediums. By the time Monday morning rolled around, I had a whole different idea of who Justin was. He was no longer the somewhat cocky jock. He was the sensitive boy I had only heard existed from friends of friends.

Monday morning, I decided to actually get up early and make myself look at least a little nice. I pulled out my favourite outfit, did stuff to my hair, and put on a touch of makeup. I stopped to get a coffee on my way and asked the barista what Justin’s order usually was. She was working Saturday night and saw us together, so she gave it to me readily. When I got to school, I sought Justin out and surprised him with his coffee. “Katie told me your order.” I explained at his questioning look.

“Thank you, it’s perfect.” He said, pulling me into his side and kissing the side of my head. I smiled, taking a sip of my own coffee and leaning into him.

“You guys are already cute. It’s sickening.” Clay said, giving Justin a light push. Once again, I felt someone’s eyes on the back of my head and had to resist the urge to turn to look at him. We broke up. Quit staring at me. If Clay noticed, he didn’t mention who was staring at me. Justin and I talked a bit before I had to literally run to Physics. I turned around to wave to him and I caught sight of Monty standing at his locker, looking as cranky and pissed off as ever.

Between classes, I was minding my own business, going over some biology notes, when I felt a hand grab me and pull me into an empty classroom. “Jesus. Could give a girl some warning before you grab her.” I spoke into the darkness. The sound of the door locking set my body on edge.

“I had to talk to you.” Monty said.

“Really? You had to talk to me? And you thought grabbing me and pulling me into an empty classroom was the best way to go about that?”

“Would you have given me the time of day otherwise (Y/N)?”

I was silent for a moment. “Fair point. Now what do you want? I have class.”

“I want to know why you agreed to go out with Justin.”

“Maybe because it’s a free country Montgomery?”

“That’s the worst explanation you have ever given, and you know it.”

“I don’t owe you an explanation. We aren’t together anymore. I am free to date whoever I want. You are too, if you ever decide to do that.”

“You broke up with me because you said I was reckless. And now you’re dating Justin fucking Foley.”

“I think he goes by Jensen now.”

“Who gives a damn? My point is, you left me because I’m reckless, and now you’re dating someone who is equally if not more reckless than me.”

“I fail to see how a recovering addict is more reckless than you.”

“You fail to… wow. I’m shocked we didn’t break up sooner.” Okay that stung.

“Thanks Monty. That was real nice of you.”

“Shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“So how did you mean it?”

“Not how it sounded. But (Y/N), tell me you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again. Because we all know she will. Or until he decides to run away again.”

“Huh. I didn’t think you could make yourself seem like more of a dick than you already had. Yet, here we are. I have to go. I’m running late.”

He was silent as I pushed past him and left the room. More reckless? More reckless than beating kids up for no reason? More reckless than any of the other shit he has pulled in the last four years? How pissed in his Corn Pops this morning? I was angry but I couldn’t help but replay his last statement over and over in my head, you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again. Because we all know she will. Or until he decides to run away again. I was so distracted in biology; I missed an entire section of notes.

By the time lunch had rolled around, I had convinced myself that Montgomery was just pissed off and trying to fuck with my head, since he wouldn’t and couldn’t actually hurt me in any other way. I sat with Justin and his friends at lunch. I watched as he laughed along with them and smiled to myself. His friends included me as much as they could, but I could tell it was a little strange for them, seeing him with someone other than Jess. It’s not like I wasn’t friends with them, but with dating Monty and being so close to him, it was hard for us to hang out. Not that he kept me from them or anything, there was just a distance. It was nice to have them again. I decided to pull out my sketchbook and doodle while my friends talked amongst themselves. It wasn’t long before I had given up on doodling and had begun to draw Justin. It was a side profile and it was quick, so it wasn’t the greatest thing I had ever drawn, but it was okay. I would do better later when I had more time.

A few weeks after our first date, Justin invited me home to meet his folks. I had met them before because I was friends with Clay and sort of friends with Justin, but this was different. I was meeting them as Justin’s girlfriend now. For some reason I was more nervous to meet them than I was to meet Monty’s parents. Probably because you knew his dad wouldn’t like you and his mom was never really a concern for you. I pulled up in front of the Jensen house and looked up at the front window. The curtains fell back into place, so I knew at least one of the family members was waiting for my arrival.

I knocked on the door and it was opened almost immediately. Justin was waiting on the other side and he pulled me in the door excitedly. “You’re early.” He commented as he pulled me into a hug.

“I noticed. Have you been waiting by the door all morning?” I asked.

“No, he made me sit and wait when he had to go to the bathroom or wanted snacks.” Clay called from the couch.

“Lies.” Justin called back.

“Not lies. Hi (Y/N).” Mr. Jensen said as he came into the living room.

“Hey Mr. Jensen. How are you and Mrs. Jensen?”

“We are good. How many times do we have to tell you, its Matt and Lainie?”

“I know, I know. Old habits die hard, is all.”

“You still like tacos?”

“Uh… yes. They are great.”

“Good, its taco night.”

“That’s great dad, we are going to my room now.” Justin exclaimed, taking my hand and leading me to the back door.

“Um, okay.” I said.

“It’s my room too.” Clay called after us.

“Welcome to my room.” Justin said as he opened the door with a dramatic flair of his arm.

“Justin, I’ve been in your room before.” I laughed as I shook my head.

“I know, but this is different. Oh, I told clay you wouldn’t sit on his bed, so you can sit on mine.”

“Okay.” I nodded and sat down. As I looked around, I noticed there was more stuff on the walls, “what do boys call the stuff on the walls?”

“Clay calls it putting shit up, I call it homing.”

“Like the pigeons?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting.” There was a bit of a lull in the conversation. We had never been alone like this before.

“Did you bring your sketchbook?”

I gave him a look.

“Sorry, dumb question. Of course, you brought it.”

“I did yes. Why?”

“Can I look at it?”

“Not yet. The deal was I get to draw you and you get to look at it.”

Justin looked at his watch, “dinner won’t be for a while yet.”

“You want me to draw you now?” I asked, my brow raising.

“I mean, yeah. Why not?” he shrugged. “Where do you want me?”

I looked around the room again, deciding on an ideal spot, “well, your bed has really good natural light. I’ll grab a bar stool and sit there.”

Justin nodded and walked over, as I went to get up, he placed his hand around my arm. I looked at him questioningly before he placed a sweet kiss on my lips. I blushed as he pulled away. I will never get used to that. We changed spots quickly and I pulled a stool over. After a few directions and some time spent positioning him properly, I set to work. A bit after I started, he began speaking, “I feel like I don’t know much about you (Y/N/N).”

“What do you mean?” I asked, somewhat distracted.

“You know all these things about me, but I don’t know much about you personally. I know we were kind of friends, but you don’t really talk about yourself.”

“There’s not much to know. It’s just me and my mom. She’s a nurse and worked a lot growing up. I learned how to be pretty self-sufficient.”

“What about your dad?” He asked, moving slightly to get more comfortable.

“Never knew him. He walked out shortly after I was born. They weren’t married, so there wasn’t much to divide up when he left. Mom said when they went to court, he agreed to pay child support but didn’t want to have to be involved. Judge wasn’t thrilled when they submitted the paperwork, but my mom and her lawyer agreed to it.”

“That sucks.”

“I guess, but I never knew any different. What about you?”

“Never knew mine either. No real story. Amber is an addict, so I don’t know much.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Anything else I should know?”

“I had a goldfish when I was a kid. His name was Napoleon.”

“Napoleon the fish?”

“Yes. I wasn’t allowed to have a dog or anything because my mom worked so much. And so, I gave my fish a weird name.” He made an impressed sound and face.

I had gotten about half the drawing done before clay knocked on the door and opened it with his eyes covered, “Dad says dinner is ready.”

“You can open your eyes, you squeamish child.” Justin chided.

“Nope. No I’m good.”

“We will be right in.” Clay nodded in response before backing out and closing the door firmly again. I closed the book and hopped out of my seat, placing my book on the counter.

“Can I see it?” Justin asked, beckoning me over.

“Not yet. It’s not done yet.” I told him. I walked over slowly, “dinner?”

“In a minute,” he started as he took my hand and pulled me down towards him, “have something to do first.” I smiled brightly at him as he pulled me down into a kiss, straddling his lap. A moment later, I pulled away and sat back.

“As much as I would like to continue this, your dad said you were having tacos.”

He sighed, nodding, “I know. We can continue this later.”

I stood up and smirked at him. Yes we can. I walked to the door and he smacked my ass playfully. I gave him an exaggerated shocked look and he grabbed my hand as we walked through the yard to the main house.

Dinner was fun and less awkward than I expected. I had gone over many times to hang out with Clay but going over as their son’s girlfriend was different. Matt and Lainie couldn’t ask me too much because they knew a lot about me. Tacos are always a fun food for company, and Justin made fun of my topping choice playfully. Clay overfilled his and it fell apart in his hands, drawing laughs from the table. It was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I couldn’t help but compare it to the awkward dinners I would have when Monty came over for at first and my mom wasn’t sure where she stood on the idea of him. I had always refused dinner with his family, so I didn’t need to hold my tongue around his dad for too long, which he never objected to.

Once dinner was over and it was time to go, I ran back to the boy’s room and grabbed my sketchbook. It’s not that I don’t trust Justin not to look… but I don’t trust Justin not to look.Justin and I said our goodbyes much quicker than we did that first night and I texted him when I got home to let him know I was safe. The following day at school, I was surprised to find Justin waiting at my locker with a muffin.

“Stopped by work on the way this morning and picked this up for you.” I smiled and kissed his cheek as I took it, biting into the fresh baked good. A very NSFW moan left my throat before I could stop it. I looked at Justin with wide eyes and a bright red face. He looked like he was trying to talk himself out of either laughing or dragging me to my car and driving to my place, education be damned. I looked down, embarrassed, waiting for the cheeky comment. When none came, I looked up at him through my lashes. I kind of miss the stupid innuendos. He was smiling wide and though he wasn’t looking directly at me, but you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you were as close to him as I was. I heard her laugh before I saw her. Jessica was walking towards us, laughing at a joke or something Alex had said. Montgomery’s words played in my head again you realize that Justin is just using you to fill the time until Jessica gets bored of Alex again, causing me to shake my head slightly to clear it. Get out of my head. You’re just jumping to conclusions (Y/N). Nothing is going on with them. Ignoring the possibilities in my head, I let Justin walk me to class. By the end of the day, any thoughts of Justin and Jessica were out of my head.

Justin and I had grown closer over the past couple of months than I thought I would ever get to another person ever again. We talked about everything. Our hopes and dreams. We shared our biggest fears and most pointless phobias. He told me about what it was like when he left and how Clay had saved him. I knew he was leaving some stuff out, but I was too. Neither of us were going to pry. I told him about the time I had gotten curious and looked into finding my dad. I explained how any lead I could come up with came up dry and whenever I felt like I was getting close, something would happen to make it slip through my fingers. We talked about our favourite things and the things we couldn’t stand. It was everything a relationship should be. Then why do I feel like there is something missing? I continued to avoid Montgomery as much as I could, lest he try and give me more crap about my relationship.

On one of the rare nights it rained in our area of California, Justin opened up to me about his addiction. We were in my room and I was working on another portrait of him. He explained to me how he had started it as a way to escape the reality that he had left everything he had ever known and how it had quickly snowballed from there. He told me about detoxing at Clay’s and how the Jensen’s went out of their way to make him feel welcome in their home. He told me about relapsing and how even though they weren’t as close as they had once been, Bryce Walker had been the one to help when he got into a bind with Seth. I asked him about what happened, but he wouldn’t elaborate. He continued on and said that Bryce tried to help by giving him his old pills instead of the H he was using. I asked him about rehab and was not surprised when he said it was one of the hardest things he had ever done. “It’s still a struggle, but I have people around me who I know I can lean on and go to. So that helps on the bad days.” I nodded at him, as I finished the drawing and turned it to show him. “Woah. That’s amazing. Probably the best one yet.” I smiled at him and carefully removed it from the book, giving it to him.

“Keep it.”

A week or so later, everything changed. I walked to class the long way since the rain the past few days had stopped this morning during class. As I walked past the locker room, I heard voices that sounded suspiciously like Justin and Jessica. They seemed to be getting closer to the door and I quickly hid in an alcove. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this to Alex, Justin.” Jess said, as he opened the door for her.

“I know. (Y/N) is a really sweet girl. I just can’t get you out of my head.”

“She really is. I’ll see you after your shift tonight?”

“Yeah, Clay is going out with the new girl.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” Justin looked around to make sure no one was watching, no one he could see anyway, before he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. I gasped quietly and quickly covered my mouth. They didn’t seem to notice. As they walked away, I noticed how disheveled his shirt looked. That jerk. Oh… Monty was right. I’m such an idiot. When I was sure they were gone, I snuck out of my hiding spot and ran to class. I’ll deal with this at lunch.

Lunch came sooner than I wanted, since I had again, gotten distracted in biology. Justin was waiting for me at the entrance to the cafeteria. I ignored him as I walked up to Monty and his friends. He was mid-bite into a sandwich. “Incoming Monty.” Bryce warned. He ignored him. I tapped him on the shoulder lightly, and he finished his bite before turning to me.

“Hey, (Y/N).” he greeted, slightly confused as we hadn’t spoken since he had dragged me into a classroom a couple of months ago.

“You were right.” I spoke quietly, so only he could hear me. His brow furrowed until he looked up and saw Justin walking towards me. His face went from confused to understanding.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?” Justin asked, behind me.

“I don’t know Justin, why don’t you ask Jessica?” I asked, turning to him.

“Shit. She’s mad.” Scott said. I hummed in response. Justin looked like a deer in the headlights. Before anyone could stop me, I slapped Justin across the face, drawing ‘oooo’s and ‘ahhh’s from the surrounding tables. Calmly, I picked up my bag and walked away. I didn’t walk to a table where my friends sat. I didn’t share a look with Jess or Alex. Alex is smart. He will figure it out. Instead, I walked straight out to my car and drove home.

I spent the afternoon and evening in my room, alternating between crying and trying in vain to get the image of Justin kissing Jessica out of my head. My mom was working a forty-eight-hour shift at the hospital, so I had the house to myself. I had finally started to fall asleep when I heard a familiar sound. It sounded like pebbles hitting my window. Monty. I got up and opened the window.

“Monty? It’s like… one in the morning. What are you doing here?” I whisper called down to him.

“I thought you could use some company. I brought your favourite ice cream. You get any better at catching things in the last four months?”

“I was never that bad.” I called down to him as he threw the container up to me.

“Okay sweetheart. We will go with that.” He joked as he climbed up the lattice work along the side of my house. After he was up and, in my bedroom, I decided to let him know I was home alone.

“You could have used the front door. My mom is at work.”

“Now you tell me.” he rolled his eyes playfully as he stood up and enveloped me in a hug. This feels nice. I directed him to sit in my bed as I ran to get a couple of spoons from the kitchen. We had shared enough ice cream and… other kinds of DNA to not need to worry about bowls anymore. By the time I got back, he had made himself comfortable on his side of the bed, leaving my spot open for me. We ate in silence for a while before he spoke again. “I’m sorry I was right.”

“I guess I owe you an apology.”

“No, you don’t. At the time I was just saying it to be an ass. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do. You were right. He is reckless and it wasn’t fair to break up with you because of your recklessness, and then start dating him. I hurt you and I’m sorry Monty.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N). But there is one thing you can do if you want to make it up to me.”

“What?”

“Switch pillows with me. This one is all lumpy.”

I laughed at him as I switched pillows before cuddling up close to him. “Hey Montgomery?”

“Yes (Y/N)?”

“How would you feel about breakfast in the morning. Like out somewhere.”

“You mean like a date?”

“Exactly like a date.”

“I think that would be some of the best breakfast I’d have in a long time.” We were quiet for a while before he spoke again, “(Y/N/N)?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you want me to talk to Justin?”

“Do you mean talk to him or talk to him?”

“Just talk.”

“No, you don’t have to. I think he got the picture this afternoon. Thank you though.”

Monty and I spent the rest of the night talking and had a delicious breakfast at Rosie’s. He drove me home and came in to say hello to my mom. It wasn’t the perfect morning or the perfect new beginning, but nothing about our relationship ever was.

#13 reasons why #monty x oc #clay jensen #justin foley #13rw #creative writing #monty de la cruz #montgomery de la cruz #monty x reader #monty de la cruz fanfic #justin foley x reader #breakup #angst #fluff #montgomery de la cruz x reader #monty imagine #montgomery de la cruz imagine

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asterekmess · 3 years

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S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

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Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

#personal #anti-scott mccall #TeenWolf-Rewatch

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adhd-hyperfixations-n-stuff · 4 years

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Hey do you have any advice on how to support people with Avoidant Personality Disorder?

First, I’m sorry for taking a while to respond to this — I’ve been pretty busy with school and generally worn out, and wanted to wait until I could put some thought into the answer (putting it under a cut bc it got kinda long haha).

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone with AvPD (and I have a lot of overlapping disorders) so take everything with a grain of salt, but I have had it for years and it’s had a major impact on my life, so here’s what I’ve got:

Don’t try to force us out of our comfort zones. My parents did this for years, and it was awful. AvPD is not just shyness — oftentimes, we don’t even have a social “comfort zone” to begin with, and it puts us under basically constant stress. If someone with AvPD is trying to push themself outside of that anyway, absolutely support them, but never try to force it. Even if you mean well, some people’s disorder is so bad that they won’t be able to handle seemingly “little” interactions without extremely severe anxiety. (For example, I couldn’t speak in class at all, order food or buy things in a store for myself, or even leave my house without insanely terrible anxiety for years).

Avoid putting us on the spot. Forcing us to be the center of attention, even briefly or in a “low-stakes” setting can be incredibly stressful. Of course sometimes it’s necessary, but even just doing introductions in a small group or something can be really hard for us. (I once had a panic attack because my therapist was bringing in someone else who worked there to have a practice conversation with me, and that’s about as low-stakes as it gets.)

Don’t assume we’re boring. It’s common for us to be ashamed of literally every interest or personality trait we have, and try to turn ourselves into the most bland, generic copy of a person to cover that up. Until recent years, I wouldn’t even talk to my closest friends about interests we didn’t share. (This applies more to stuff like music, TV shows, movies, etc. than just general hobbies.) If someone with AvPD does share their interests with you, try not to make fun of them or anything — even if it’s not mean-spirited, it can make us regret opening up.

Don’t make jokes at our expense (unless you know the person well enough to be sure they’re okay with it). This obviously applies in general, but it’s harder to be sure with AvPD. When you constantly second-guess everything you do and are convinced you’re screwing everything up, even super lighthearted teasing or laughing at something silly you did can translate in our brains to “oh god I messed up again and they all think I’m an idiot.”

Be the one to initiate plans if you have to (and try not to take that personally). If you want to spend time with us, ask, because we pretty much can’t. I went years never asking a friend to hang out, and always waiting for someone else to initiate. It never meant I didn’t want to spend time with them, I was just worried about making them feel obligated, and didn’t feel like I was worthy of attention.

Spend time with us one-on-one sometimes. If you’re close to someone with AvPD, they may still be anxious around you, but will probably be a lot more comfortable with just you than with you and a bunch of other people. Especially since we don’t tend to have a lot of friends ourselves for obvious reasons, always being with a friend/partner and all their other friends can make us feel like we’re just there out of pity or something and don’t fit in with the group. You are definitely not obligated to give the person your attention all the time or put them above all your other friends, but spending some time with just them (and maybe one or two other people they trust) can help. If we’re clingy to one or two people, it’s often because we have no one else and it gets super lonely living like that.

Don’t assume we want to be alone. On a day-to-day basis I did, in the sense that I felt safer alone due to less anxiety, but I never wanted to be alone. Before I was even a teenager, I was terrified that I was going to die alone because I had no genuine friends and would probably never form any close relationships. I would get so jealous of people with real friends that it hurt, and I always wanted a best friend. I buried myself in reading and writing for years to fill that void (and developed maladaptive daydreaming disorder because I was so isolated irl).

Remind them you actually like them. For pretty much my whole life, I’ve felt like my friends put up with me out of pity or convenience or something, because I truly don’t understand how anyone could actually like me as a person. Of course, you don’t have to say it outright unless they literally ask (which they may be too anxious to do), but make sure they know that you actually enjoy being around them and aren’t doing it for some other reason.

Take it seriously as a disorder and provide accommodations. This one only really applies to people who have some administrative power over a person with AvPD, such as at school. In my opinion, we absolutely should be able to get exemptions/alternate assignments for things that give us heart palpitations and almost make us pass out — but I still had to do presentations before medication, and would stress about them for days in advance and then have severe panic attacks in front of everyone every time. School in general was awful and some of that was unavoidable, but it was easier with the rare teachers who would let me get out of those things.

Idk, some of these may be obvious but I’m just going off my own experience. If anyone has more questions feel free to ask them!

Also, this is more of a suggestion for people with AvPD, but I would really recommend getting on medication for it if you can find one that helps you. Therapy did absolutely nothing for my AvPD, except for eventually directing me to a psychiatrist because I was basically a hopeless case without meds.

I’m still avoidant and self-conscious and feel inferior to everyone else, but I no longer have the severe anxiety symptoms — I can now handle basic interactions (and even way more stressful ones like presentations) without constant stress and panic attacks, and I had some longterm chronic physical symptoms (digestive issues, jaw pain) clear up too. Within a week, it genuinely felt like the anxiety goggles had been pulled off and I was able to see the world more normally for the first time.

#answered ask #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actually avpd #actually avoidant #personality disorders #social anxiety #social anxiety disorder #(avpd and sad have big overlap so tagging both)#and ive had both #though now I think it's only avpd since I started meds

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