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#the thing about bipolar too that is listed as a symptom is “delusions”
toksidermy · 9 months
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hey so i'm sober now, and i have emotions again! they are as follows:
depressed and crying for a whole day
super happy and energetic for two days
depressed for four days!!!!! also crying some more
maybe a happy day
the nice doctor lady who did my assessment for therapy asked me if i thought i might have bipolar, and i told her i don't know! i feel like i don't know enough about it to say. so i went on wikipedia and guess what i think I have now.
self-diagnosis is a fool's game though so that's why i'm waiting for this therapist. they will tell me, hopefully, what is the matter and then help me fix it. what i'm doing in the meantime is asking myself "is there anything i can do about what is bothering me right now" and if the answer is yes i do the thing that will help and if the answer is no i try my best to let it be. sometimes letting it be means eating a whole pint of ice cream and you know what, that's okay.
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ghostr0tz · 1 month
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please please share your vox neurodivergent headcanons
*smacks the top of his head* this bad boy can fit SO many problems and disorders in him.
but before we start i do want to say i am saying this all as personal headcanons as someone with my own laundry list of issues. Okay lets go:
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HEAVYYYYY on Autism. Has a VERY strict routine he sticks to and gets sooo fucking irritated when it gets interrupted. The only except is if its a Vee and its something Important to them (he still gets petty about it though). It mostly revolves around work.
He's extremely sensory seeking, and constantly fidgetting and stimming. He paces. A LOT.
Vox is very touchy to friends but will kill a stranger for bumping into him. Constantly touching Val's fluff and Velvette's nicer-feeling clothes.
LOVES compression . Makes Val lay on him all the time. He's like a personal weighted blanket. His body being partially mechanical makes his under-sensitive to stimuli. Hard for him to really process pain and managing it.
VERY opinionated and vindictive about his thoughts and takes. Takes it very personal if you disagree and will try SO hard to yell at you to see how he's right.
The Vees are constantly getting in debates that concern anyone around them but they all love it. They all fucking love arguing.
Special Interest in technology (new AND old), movies and shows (constantly rewatching classics), and biology. Does not let anyone get a SINGLE word in unless its questions when he's infodumping.
Probably has ADHD too. Talkative as shit when he feels hyperactive. Has such a strict routine with himself because he knows if he doesn't stick to it he WILL go insane and become a bit of a #disaster.
Medicated? Yes!!!! Remembers to take his medication? Also yes but ONLY because he's set so many alarms and reminds for himself.
He Has So Many Alarms For Everything. It drives the other Vees insane how his phone seems to go off every. other. fucking. minute.
Hard to keep Vox's attention on things and is constantly cycling through content like his life depends on it. Always has SOMETHING playing near him unless he's really overwhelmed from the day.
It doesn't take a whole lot to make him go nonverbal, usually plays captions on his face or has a speech assistant on his phone that sounds like him.
This bitch is SOOO Bipolar coded though. He's disinterested in a lot of life and usually in a depressive swing. His swings of mania are VERY bad and chaotic though (Stayed Gone is such a good mania portrayal . TO ME).
Alastor very much triggers his mania and psychosis probably before their split and very CLEARLY afterwards.
Also probably on the schizospectrum. Probably Schizoaffective?
Hallucinates when he's having mania swings and psychotic symptoms. Has some pretty bad delusions too about his power and status and definitely had them BEFORE he was an overlord. has delusions about his relationships too. (probably did NOT help when he and Al were on good terms. probably played a role in their split)
Also his glitches feel like tics to me and its important i say that or ill explode. He masks them pretty well in public and has gotten used to playing them off. But the Vees have gotten used to him accidentlly smackign them while ticcing.
okay i think thats it for now. hope you enjoyed my rambles :0 !
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heroeslogic · 2 years
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psychology + mental health deep dive !
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general mental health related trigger warnings apply.  feel free to include more or exclude those facts / test results that take too much time or don’t apply, you can check out this list for more personality-related quizzes to include!
QUICK FACTS ,
diagnoses: adhd, generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar ii ( diagnosed upon entry to SHIELD academy during mandated therapy), c-ptsd (diagnosed after infinity war)
triggers: bars/alcohol in large quantities/people being openly drunk around her, being degraded
positive coping skills: developed plenty of hobbies to cope (drawing, music, baking), working out
negative coping skills: running away from home, substance use (weed), self isolation, recklessness and adrenaline seeking behaviors, sex
attachment style: anxious
love language: quality time, physical touch & words of affirmation
myers briggs / mbti: infp
HISTORY EXPLORATION ,
are their diagnoses formal ( via a doctor, therapist, etc. ) or informal ( self diagnosis, a hunch, unrealized, etc. ) formal, she was diagnosed when she joined SHIELD when they required her to attend therapy upon joining the delinquent program.
have they ever been treated / medicated? alice has been prescribed anti-depressants, but she also does a lot of self medicating with caffeine. (and she used to use weed to self medicate)
have they ever been hospitalized or treated on an inpatient basis? no.
how old were they when they first started experiencing / realizing symptoms? it was after her mom died, so around the age of eleven or twelve. her mom’s death and the abuse alice got at home afterwards were really the catalysts for her symptoms presenting themselves.
do they have a family history of mental illness? yes, alice’s father was an addict. however any further diagnosis is unknown.
how was mental health handled / discussed in the family? wasn’t discussed.
what are their thoughts on mental health / their diagnosis? honestly she doesn’t think about the actual diagnosis often. as for mental health, alice is a big proponent of taking care of one’s self even if she doesn’t always follow her own advice.
in what ways has their diagnosis shaped their life or experiences? she’s happy there’s a name for what she has, even when she’s miserable or can’t control the things she wishes she could. she’s not crazy, she’s not a failure, she’s not broken. there’s a name for it. other people have it too.
SYMPTOMS: note that all of the below are, on their own, normative and typical aspects of human functioning. they become “symptoms” when they last longer than “normal” or when they pose a significant impact on someone’s life / functioning.
BOLD  all that are present,  ITALICIZE  those that are resolved or in the history.
depression.    anxiety.    panic attacks.    dissociation.    derealization.    depersonalization.    suicidal ideation.    self harm.    homicidal ideation.    psychosis.    auditory hallucinations.    visual hallucinations.    delusions.    mania.    hypomania.    racing thoughts.    hyperactivity.    attention difficulty.    flashbacks.    nightmares.    hyperarousal.    hypoarousal.    hypersexuality.    hyposexuality.    psychopathy.   risky behavior.    catatonia.    somatic / bodily concerns.    mutism.    phobia.    agoraphobia.    hoarding.    obsessions.    compulsions.    body dysmorphia.    hair picking.    skin picking.     amnesia.    illness anxiety / hypochondria.    sensory loss.    speech difficulty.    comprehension difficulty.    communication difficulty.    tics.    defiant behavior.    irritable mood.    vindictiveness.     aggression.    pyromania.    kleptomania.    paranoia.    attention seeking.   narcissism.    avoidance.    dependency.    pica.    rumination.    food restriction.    food binging.    purging.    soiling the bed.    insomnia.    fatigue.    sexual dysfunction.    delirium.    developmental delays.
explanations / elaborations on any of the above symptoms:
i have nothing else to add rn because i am so tired but if i come up with anything later i solemnly swear to make a post about it and link it here.
tagged by: not lia but ily lia @seesgood​
tagging: VIEWERS LIKE YOU!
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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years
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Arkham Files: The Top
Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Roscoe Dillon, also known as the Top. Patient suffers from Bipolar Disorder, type one, and is on the autism spectrum. Session One. Good day, Mr. Dillon. 
The Top: I am not autistic, Doctor Hugo Strange.
Hugo Strange: Mr. Dillon, the psychologist at Iron Heights has tested you for the condition multiple times, and the results are always consistent with your being on the autism spectrum. What’s more, the psychological tests we gave to you upon your arrival to Arkham Asylum also suggest that you are, indeed, autistic. 
The Top: I do not care what that quack at Iron Heights says, Doctor Hugo Strange. I am not intellectually subnormal. 
Hugo Strange: Mr. Dillon, being on the autism spectrum has nothing to do with your level of intelligence. It simply means that you have difficulty in understanding social cues. 
The Top: In my experience, it is the world that has trouble understanding me, not the other way around. I do not understand why everyone believes that I am odd because I enjoy educating them about tops. Tops are fascinating; certainly much more so than sports or beer or whatever else it is that so-called “normal” people enjoy. 
Hugo Strange: Tops? 
The Top: Yes, tops. You know, Doctor Hugo Strange, the basic principles involved in the spinning of a top are also those used in gyroscopes, guided missile systems, and the gyro stabilizers in ocean liners. Tops are amazing! 
Hugo Strange: Tops? 
The Top: Yes, Doctor Hugo Strange. Tops! 
Hugo Strange: Tops? As in, the children’s toy? 
The Top: Is there something wrong with your hearing, Doctor Hugo Strange? 
Hugo Strange: Do you mean to tell me that, in calling yourself the Top, you are not making a claim as to your superiority, but rather making a reference to a toy? 
The Top: Actually, Doctor Hugo Strange, I am doing both. I am both a living top and at the top of my profession. My costume has stripes on it so that I may better emulate a top when I spin. 
Hugo Strange: Your costume is intended to make you look like a giant top? 
The Top: It is, Doctor Hugo Strange. Why? 
Hugo Strange: Well, that certainly explains its...unusual appearance. 
The Top: (Offended) My costume is no more unusual than that of the Trickster or the Mirror Master, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: I didn’t say that it was, Mr. Dillon. 
The Top: Good. (Pause) Now, Doctor Hugo Strange, would you care to explain why I was transported to an institution a thousand miles away from my base of operations upon my most recent arrest? 
Hugo Strange: I wish I knew myself, Mr. Dillon. The workings of the judicial system as it regards the costumed population never cease to bewilder me. However, I must say that I am glad to have you here, Mr. Dillon. You are clearly mentally ill, and Iron Heights clearly has made no progress in treating your condition. 
The Top: I am not mentally ill, Doctor Hugo Strange! 
Hugo Strange: Mr. Dillon, mental illness is not a sign of a moral or intellectual deficit. It simply means that your brain has become diseased, just as any other part of your body might. 
The Top: Nevertheless, I maintain that I am not mentally ill, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Doctor Strange: According to your record, when you first became the Top, you threatened to blow up half the world with a, quote, “atomic grenade”  if all the governments of the world did not acknowledge you as the ruler of the world within ten hours. You did this while under the belief that you would somehow be safe on the other side of the planet should the bomb go off. Mr. Dillon, can you spot the flaw in this plan? You are obviously an intelligent man. 
The Top: Of course I can, Doctor Hugo Strange. If half the planet was blown up, the entire planet would have been devastated. Even if I was on the other side of the planet from the epicenter of the explosion, I likely still would have been killed.
Hugo Strange: (Shocked) Wait...you actually built an atomic grenade with the power to blow up half the world? 
The Top: Of course. I am a genius, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: You built an atomic grenade that could spin around like a top and possessed the capacity to blow up half the world? 
The Top: You have a dreadful habit of repeating yourself, Doctor Hugo Strange. But yes, I did. 
Hugo Strange: Then all those other tops your record claims you invented actually worked as well? And you actually made a giant top-shaped satellite that you launched into orbit? 
The Top: I am supposed to have a mood disorder, not a psychotic disorder, Dr. Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: Well, yes, but severe bouts of mania and depression are known to sometimes bring on psychotic symptoms. I had thought that your claims of having successfully invented such an improbable array of top-shaped weapons were the result of delusions brought on by one of your mood episodes. 
The Top: No. The quack at Iron Heights says that I was having a manic episode during my attempt to become ruler of the Earth, and that that is why I did not realize the flaws in my plan. They allege that I was having “mood-congruent delusions of grandeur and invulnerability”, but at no point did they accuse me of outright hallucinating. Surely that is in the report, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: (Annoyed, but not with the Top) While I do not fully agree with your assertions that the psychologist at Iron Heights is a quack, Mr. Dillon, I must admit that they are distinctly lacking in some key areas-such as specifying which of your behaviors and claims were the results of a mood episode and which were not. Knowing that you have had at least five manic episodes and at least three depressive episodes is worthwhile knowledge, but without adequate context, how do they expect me to know what behaviors are a sign that you are no longer in a healthy state of mind? 
The Top: Three depressive episodes, Doctor Hugo Strange? As far as I am aware, the quack has only had me hospitalized for depression twice. 
Hugo Strange: That is because the first listed depressive episode was an attempted suicide at the age of 17, which would have been before you ever went to prison. 
The Top: Oh. Yes, that did...that did happen, Doctor Hugo Strange. It was how I learned that taking a dozen different types of pills is not the most efficient way in which to kill oneself. 
Hugo Strange: (Alarmed, but making an effort to remain calm) You aren’t planning to make another attempt, are you? The Top: No, no. I have far too much to live for-and besides, my fianceé would never forgive me if I killed myself, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: Your fianceé?
The Top: Yes. Her name is Lisa Snart, although you, Doctor Hugo Strange, are likely more familiar with her nom de guerre: the Golden Glider. 
Hugo Strange: So, another one of the Rogues? 
The Top: Yes. I met her while posing as an ice skating coach, and we have been deeply in love ever since, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: I see. How long have the two of you been romantically linked? 
The Top: About seven years now, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: In other words, the relationship began shortly after your second attempted suicide? 
The Top: I admit I was in a rather dark place at that point in my life, Doctor Hugo Strange. My beloved was responsible for helping to pull me out of it. 
Hugo Strange: (Concerned) And what would happen if she died, or broke off your relationship? 
The Top: That will not happen, Doctor Hugo Strange. 
Hugo Strange: But if it did? 
The Top: (Agitated) I… I don’t know. She...she’s the only person who ever really loved me, Doctor Hugo Strange. The only one. 
Hugo Strange: I’m concerned that you seem to be placing your mental stability and overall self-esteem so heavily on one relationship, Mr. Dillon. That cannot be healthy, for either one of you. (Pause) I know you don’t believe yourself to be mentally ill, but for Lisa’s sake, if nothing else, I really do think that it is urgent that we continue these sessions. 
The Top: I would never do anything to hurt Lisa, Doctor Hugo Strange. Never! 
Hugo Strange: In an earlier manic episode, you threatened to blow up half the world. That would have included your beloved Lisa, would it not? 
The Top: I had not yet met Lisa when I came up with that scheme. If I had known her, I never would have endangered her in such a way, Doctor Hugo Strange.
Hugo Strange: Maybe so, but that incident serves to prove that your judgement is compromised when you are in the midst of a manic episode. While I believe that you would never intentionally hurt Lisa, should you have another manic episode, you might cause harm to her without realizing it. 
The Top: I...I suppose you may have a point, Doctor Hugo Strange. I will take your suggestion into consideration. I certainly do not wish to accidentally harm Lisa. 
Hugo Strange: I’m glad to hear that, Mr. Dillon. (Pause) You are a metahuman, correct? 
The Top: Do you think I am wearing this collar because it is fashionable, Doctor Hugo Strange? 
Hugo Strange: A metahuman power dampener. Well, I suppose that answers that question. What powers do you possess, Mr. Dillon? 
The Top: I have the ability to spin at superhuman speeds, I am telekinetic, and I have a limited degree of telepathy, Doctor Hugo Strange. I cannot read or outright control minds, but I can induce vertigo and push people into doing things that they otherwise might not be inclined to do. 
Hugo Strange: I see. So, Mr. Dillon, what prompted you to put on a costume, call yourself the Top, and use your intellect and your not inconsiderable array of powers to commit crimes? 
The Top: My father always told me that I needed to be a success; get on top of the world. I had to prove that I wasn’t the failure that everyone thought I was...and I did. No one laughs at Roscoe Dillon anymore, Doctor Hugo Strange.
Hugo Strange: Yes, yes...but why do it in a silly costume and with gimmicked tops? 
The Top: I thought we already went over this. It’s because I like tops. They are fascinating. (Pause) Do you want to hear about my collection, Doctor Hugo Strange? There’s so much you could learn from it. 
Hugo Strange: Perhaps some other time, Mr. Dillon. (Pause) And the Flash had nothing to do with your decision to put on the costume? 
The Top: The Flash? You insult me, Doctor Hugo Strange. Why would I ever be inspired to do anything by someone like him? 
Hugo Strange: Isn’t he your enemy? 
The Top: Only because he constantly stands in the way of my achieving greatness. If he left me alone, I would not fight him….but as it is, he’s made things rather personal. 
Hugo Strange: So the reason you have continued to commit crimes is in order to get revenge on the Flash? 
The Top: Really, Doctor Hugo Strange, you must get your hearing problems checked out. I do not commit crimes to get revenge on the Flash. I commit crimes to make myself wealthy and to get revenge on the world. It rejected me; branded me as a freak. I simply rejected it in turn. 
Hugo Strange: And has your life of crime made you happy, Mr. Dillon? 
The Top: Not yet...but I am afraid, Doctor Hugo Strange, that it does not matter whether being a criminal makes me happy or not. It’s the only life that will ever accept someone like me. I learned that lesson long ago. 
Hugo Strange: I stand by my initial assessment of you, Mr. Dillon. You need help. I just hope you will permit me to provide it. 
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samwenahetbait · 3 years
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Supernatural, Season 7, and the Positive and Negative Symptoms of Schizophrenia/Psychosis
I just finished season 7 of Supernatural. Season 7 and Sam’s arc, and later Cas’ arc, interested me a lot because I’m schizoaffective (schizoaffective being schizophrenia plus a mood disorder, either bipolar or depression, in my case depression).
I’ve done a lot of research on the disorder and spectrum of disorders and when watching the beginning of honey!Cas I thought this would be a really interesting way to show the ways the show does and doesn’t portray psychotic disorders well.
I’ll be using both Sam and Cas, Sam for positive symptoms and Cas for negative symptoms, and evaluating them for how accurate they are to DSM 5 criteria for psychosis, criteria for schizophrenia (understanding that neither of them could be diagnosed due to duration and the magical nature of their problem), and accuracy to personal experience (not all psychotic experiences are the same, obviously, so this is not the most accurate test, but lets do it anyways lol)
This is gonna be long, so more under the cut!
So a bit of background of the DSM 5 criteria for schizophrenia and DSM 4 criteria for psychosis not otherwise specified, which is still in use in hospitals and doctors offices and would definitely still be used in 2012. The DSM 5 criteria for schizophrenia includes two or more of the following, with one having to be one of the first three: hallucinations, delusions (things that you believe as true even when presented evidence you’re false), disorganized speech, grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior, negative symptoms. The duration must be for six months including prodrome (mostly negative symptoms), with at least one month of active symptoms.
The DSM 4 says psychosis not otherwise specified includes delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior about which the doctor cannot make another, better diagnosis.
Positive Symptoms
“Positive” and “negative” symptoms are a bit misleading. what they really mean are positive symptoms are things the disorder adds that aren’t there originally (hallucinations, delusions, disordered speech), and negative symptoms are things that are taken away (blunted affect, poverty of speech, avolition or lack of energy)
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[ID: Sam looks to the left. He says “he’s singing “stairway to heaven” right now.” End ID]
Sam is our character who experiences positive symptoms with Hallucifer. There are multiple types of hallucinations, the most common being auditory. Combination auditory and visual hallucinations are possible but they’re more rare than the media makes you believe.
Sam has a stereotypical case of what an outsider with no research may think psychosis or schizophrenia is - he has a voice that will not let him sleep, that constantly bothers him. Sam qualifies for Psychosis Not Otherwise Specified in that he has a prominent hallucination and does not qualify for another disorder.
What’s interesting about Sam’s psychosis to me watching, though, was the hallucination was the only sign of psychosis he had. It was severe and caused depression, derealization, dissociation, and insomnia but he never had delusions outside of the hallucinations, never had disordered speech outside of sleep deprivation, never had bizarre movements or disorganized behaviors. The only way to get a schizophrenia diagnosis with only hallucinations is if you have two or more voices who talk to each other, which he does not have. Sam would absolutely not qualify for a schizophrenia diagnosis.
As for personal experience - I’ve been hospitalized because voices have made it impossible for me to sleep so this arc hit close to home. I thought at times he was a little too well put together and honestly think there were moments in the season the writers forgot he was actively hallucinating. I thought that besides only having hallucinations and it being the Hollywood hallucination Sam’s arc with his “voice” was fairly easy for me to empathize with - but not easy for anyone else to treat him with respect. Here’s a link to a quiz I made about which ableist phrase used against Sam in season 7 you are
Negative Symptoms
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[ID: Meg, in a nurses outfit, crosses her arms. Castiel’s profile is seen. Meg says “He’s been like the naked guy at the rave ever since he woke up.” End ID]
Cas, when absorbing Sam’s hell trauma, originally has his one positive symptom - hallucinations of Lucifer. However, after he wakes up from his coma he has one and a half noticeable positive symptoms and one and a half marked negative symptoms.
Cas experiences some form of hallucination (he tells Sam that he “sees everything” when asked what he sees) but it’s unclear what he means by this. He has noticeable disorganized speech however in that he will end conversations during important discussions and change the topic, which is an aspect of disorganized speech.
I would also argue Cas experiences a negative symptoms known in disorganized schizophrenia particularly, although anyone with psychosis can have it: inappropriate affect. Some people with schizophrenia will laugh during moments when they should be crying or show inappropriate emotional responses, uncontrolled. Cas doesn’t seem to have control over his emotions and will make jokes and laugh during tense or upsetting situations. Part of that is also due to his complete disconnect with reality and what is happening in the situation. It could also be argued he experienced disorganized movement or catatonia, as we see him staring blankly and sitting still at the end of 7.17.
Castiel definitely qualifies for PNOS through his disconnect with reality, possible hallucinations, and disorganized speech, as well as with inappropriate affect and possible catatonia. Despite having more on the list than Sam he still doesn’t qualify for schizophrenia.
This is getting longer than anticipated so I’ll try to make this section shorter. I don’t think honey!cas was written to be psychotic. I don’t think he was written with an illness in mind. I don’t think either of them were. I think Cas was written to be funny crazy and Sam to be scary crazy. But in writing a funny crazy character the writers accidentally hit somewhere personal as someone living with the cognitive and neurological effects of schizoaffective. I watched honey!cas on a bad cognitive day and sobbed when they were mean to him because I related to the disorganized speech and the inappropriate behavior. Is it good representation? No. It’s exaggerated and ridiculed. It’s deeply ableist. And the way the writer’s treat him and have others treat him is deeply ableist. But I did find myself relating and rooting for him.
Fandom Response
I haven’t been in Supernatural fandom long (four months) and being involved with fandom while watching the show has been interesting. I’ve had pretty much everything at least somewhat spoiled so I was excited to see honey!cas and psychotic Sam in something other than gifs. I’ve seen maybe three people talk about sam’s psychosis, maybe because I don’t follow enough sam blogs, but it’s not something I’ve seen a lot of. everyone i’ve seen has been psychotic and made it clear he’s a psychotic character or been supportive of viewing him as psychotic. But honey!cas is very popular and...sexualized?
I’ve seen two responses to honey!cas: he’s so crazy or he’s so slutty. I’m going to ask both of those groups of people to see the character as a person experiencing cognitive issues and a break from reality. Not saying not to talk about honey!cas - he’s interesting, but please don’t sexualize him for being quirky when by quirky you mean delusional and please don’t do the opposite and demonize him for being vulnerable (and if that’s crazy. you should see me off my meds)
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littleoddwriter · 3 years
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BoP!Roman Sionis has BPD (in my opinion) | Headcanon
Disclaimer: This is purely a headcanon with some “evidence” from the film. I have been diagnosed with BPD. This is by no means meant to invalidate any other headcanons (like the Bipolar one, which I’ll also mention here). Please don’t come for my ass, thanks!
Personally, I headcanon BoP!Roman Sionis to suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). For one, I have been diagnosed with it, so I feel more connected to him through that (so, I may be projecting a liiittle bit). But he also shows quite a few signs for it, albeit it probably wasn’t intentional, nor does he have to have a specific disorder assigned to him anyway. Still!
I saw a lot of people assign Bipolar Disorder to him from the day the movie premiered, and while I can’t deny the possibility, nor do I want to take away anyone’s headcanon, one reason why I was always a bit “Hhh, idk” with it is because his mood swings are way too rapid. They happen in such quick succession, whereas Bipolar Disorder is known for- not gradual, but more long-lasting and slower changing moods/mood swings. BPD on that note happens in moments, almost. You can be feeling like you’re on top of the world, a God even, in one  moment, and the very next - usually because of a trigger - you plummet, you feel everything at once, it is overwhelming. Most common are anxiety, guilt, or anger. Rage. Which Roman displays. He is also quick to calm down after an episode and act as if nothing has happened at all, which is also quite common in people with BPD.
It is of course possible that he has Bipolar and BPD. I’ve met some people who suffered from both (and more). It’s possible and quite common, since BPD often comes with other disorders anyway. They don’t cancel each other out. So, if anyone headcanons him with Bipolar, then that’s what he has and you can do whatever you want with that, I support that. I just feel as if sometimes people reached a quick verdict because the mood swings were so potent that they might have immediately connected it to Bipolar, because that’s pretty much all that people usually know about it. Or someone who suffers from it has seen Roman and thought “I see myself in that” and that’s super valid because that’s basically what I’m doing here, too. I still thought I’d bring it to attention, since it almost became Fanon at one point and I just felt as though the more plausible answer has been overlooked all this time, I’m not going to lie.
Onto the signs/”evidence” of Roman suffering from BPD that I found/have personally interpreted that way (again, you can interpret/headcanon whatever you want):
Please note that there are 9 Symptoms of BPD that are used to diagnose people. You have to show at least 5 of them to qualify for a diagnosis. It can’t be diagnosed before the age of 18, and it’s important that the symptoms have been going on for a long time in a certain pattern that aligns with BPD, rather than anything else because most BPD symptoms are ones that show in other disorders as well.
Intense fear of real or imagined abandonment and frantic attempts/efforts to stop said abandonment from happening: Roman is shown to 1) not handle rejection well at all (example: Keo, Dinah’s betrayal - and his reaction), 2) cling onto other people (example: Dinah), 3) need reassurance that he’s not being betrayed/abandoned (example: Dinah), etc. You get the idea. He reacts extremely to these things. Mr Keo rejects him? He gets murdered. Dinah betrays him? He breaks down completely.
Intense mood swings: What I said above - his mood swings are quick and extreme. He’s agitated, even raging, in one moment and in the next he jumps up, is giddy and excited, as though nothing ever happened.
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation: Just like moods, and helped by the black/white thinking, opinions of other people can change in a heartbeat. Also characterised by a BPD-exclusive thing, called Splitting. One moment you’ll love someone to the moon and back, then they make one mistake, change their tone, anything, and you hate them, they’re evil, you want them gone. Sounds as unhealthy and exhausting as it is. Again with Dinah - she used to just be a singer in his club, which he was fascinated by. She comforted him. Suddenly, he made her his new driver and his opinion of her didn’t necessarily change, but it intensified, he “loved” her more than anything, or anyone else at that time - idealised her (I’d say that she momentarily was his new Favourite Person (FP, also BPD exclusive), even though Zsasz has been his FP for over a decade by then). Then she betrayed him and while he didn’t want Zsasz to kill her immediately, you could say that he may have wanted to do it himself. He definitely hated her at that point. She was evil, a betrayer. She needed to be gone. 
Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self: Basically, I’d say that his carefully constructed vain facade is part of it. I think he built this flamboyant, outgoing persona to appeal to others and be able to socialise better. He lives off of approval and attention, and the best way to get it is to be loud and eccentric the way we know him in the film. And he is narcissistic to a fault, which you could attribute to BPD as well, but also his lack of a clear sense of self, therefore forcing it by idealising himself almost. Just my thoughts, though. The more valuable evidence for this is Black Mask. Roman has this different persona, both as protection, and as a means to let go, to get away from himself, to be even more cruel, etc. But he doesn’t always make use of it, hell, for all we know, the end of the movie really was the first time (in a long time, perhaps) he’s actually been Black Mask. I believe that he doesn’t really know who he is, or who he wants to be. Black Mask knows it, though, and he is better in ways that Roman can’t push himself to be. At least that’s my take on it. I just feel as if Roman’s very flamboyant and eccentric persona is something he consciously built, that it’s someone he pretends to be, even though deep down he knows he’s not that. Or maybe it’s just a part of him that he amplifies because he doesn’t know what else there is to him, doesn’t see anything else significant to himself. You know?
Impulsive and often dangerous behaviours: Roman abuses substances (he takes drugs, drinks alcohol), especially when he is trying to cope after being rejected (Keo). Other things would only be speculation, so I won’t list them, but it’s safe to say that he does show this symptom.
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights): Not much to say to that, if you’re reading this, you have seen the film and know exactly why I say that he clearly shows this symptom.
Paranoia and Dissociation: It’s not an entirely clear thing, but I’d argue that it’s safe to say that he shows clear signs of dissociation and paranoia. [I’d also say he is shown to be psychotic (he’s definitely delusional and has auditory hallucinations, so- psychosis).] For the paranoia, I doubt I have to say a lot about this, but- Black Canary again. “You wouldn’t betray me, would you?” after he’s already been betrayed by Harley and then Erika, who he thought has been laughing at him. He can’t trust anyone. Not even Zsasz, apparently. Because when Victor told him Dinah is a rat, he asked him “Are you sure?”, making it clear that in this very moment, he didn’t trust him either. I feel like he probably doesn’t even trust Victor as blindly as we were made to believe anyway, due to his paranoia. [Now for the psychosis: You can hear too loud and distorted laughter when Keo rejects him, when Erika supposedly laughed at him, and when Victor tells him Dinah is a rat. I’d say that it’s safe to assume that he hears this laughter in his head - auditory hallucinations.] He also dissociates, when he becomes Black Mask, and when he is having an episode because of the diamond being stolen. Only Victor could ground him by intense physical contact and seeking just as intense eye contact. 
As you can see, I can assign 7 of the 9 criteria to Roman (the two that have been left out were self-harming/suicidal behaviour and chronic feelings of emptiness, both of which I can’t determine through what we’ve been shown in the film, so). 
Still, to me, he may as well suffer from both BPD and Bipolar, which would make his psychosis even more likely (psychosis can also be caused by BPD, but actual hallucinations are less common, usually we are more likely to “only” experience delusions).
If anyone’s even read all of this - What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it’s plausible? Did you have a wholly different opinion? I’d love to hear anything people have to say, as long as it is respectful!
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ineedglasses · 4 years
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VK Character Analysis: Shizuka Hiou
Once in high school, an old friend who also read VK asked me who my favorite character was, and when I said Shizuka, she was shocked. Now her favorite was Zero, and she thought I hated Zero since I liked Shizuka, his enemy.
That is not true, I don’t hate Zero. For some reason, some Zero fans seem to think anyone that likes Shizuka hates Zero. There is NO correlation between liking Shizuka and hating Zero. Some people love them both, while some people hate them both.
Anyway, my friend seemed appalled when I told her my fav character and she asked me why. At that age I wasn’t the most articulate or the most patient, so I simply told her, “just because.” So, now that I have free time and because her question had bothered me for a while, I decided I should write down my thoughts on why I love Shizuka.
                                                            XXX
First of all, Shizuka was NOT actually insane.
Medically speaking, “insanity” is associated with conditions like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. There is no indication in the manga or anime that she exhibited any signs or symptoms of those diseases, such as hallucinations or delusions.
The regular definition of insane is to exhibit a severely disordered state of mind or to be affected with mental illness. Even by this definition, Shizuka was not insane.
She was aware of her actions and of what is right and what is wrong. The only time she can be considered “insane” is right after her lover was killed, when she was so overcome by grief and anger she could not think straight and focused on revenge without stopping to think who the real enemy was (cough, Rido). And in that state of severe emotional turmoil she went after the Kiryuus. But I do not think that can be considered true insanity, because it was a onetime occurrence.
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Shizuka knows that she was wrong to kill the Kiryuus, because they were simply following orders and doing their job, and also because the real mastermind behind her lover’s death was Rido. She even acknowledges that her actions in regard to the Kiryuu parents and Zero were “sinful”, whereas a truly crazy person probably is unable or unwilling to admit that. If anyone were actually insane in VK, it would probably be Rido.
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Secondly, she did NOT attack the Kiryuus out of a random whim or desire to do evil things.
All readers should already know this, since Hino explicitly states that Shizuka was motivated by revenge. Shizuka ONLY went after the Kiryuus because they wronged her first.
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They killed her ex-human, the only person she ever loved. Hunters are only supposed to kill crazed level E’s and vampires that have harmed humans, but her lover was none of that. He should not have been killed by those standards.
But the Kiryuus were simply following orders without question, and killed someone they shouldn’t have, and thus they were killed in return.
For hunters, being killed by vampires seeking revenge is not a shocking end. Even Zero’s mom mentioned that, when they were packing, saying they should move soon so vampires do not find out where they lived. People who kill tend to get killed too, that’s just the reality of that sort of life. Zero’s parents were not normal, innocent civilians, they were people that killed vampires for a living. Thus, I don’t think Shizuka killing them is so shocking and unforgivable. I can understand why she attacked the Kiryuus, although it is still wrong (because hate breeds more hate, and the idea of an eye for an eye is not good).
What was truly unforgivable was that Shizuka turned Zero into a vampire, to hurt his parents as much as she can. This is where she went too far in her vengeance because children are innocent, it was only the parents that should be punished. And yes, I acknowledge that these actions are bad, even if I am her fan, I am not blind to her flaws.
Anyway, Shizuka would never have bothered crossing paths with the Kiryuus if they had never killed her lover.
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Thirdly, although she was an antagonist in the story, she had her own moral code. She was not evil, and rather more of a neutral grey, and I appreciate characters like that.
She wasn’t like Rido, who used even his own son as a tool, and who did not care for anyone. Shizuka cared for Ichiru, despite the fact that he was her enemy’s son. She felt a sort of kinship with him because they were both alone and had nowhere to go. She gave him her own blood and flesh and refused to turn him the whole time they were together, even when she was dying, because she knew he would have been in more danger if he was a vampire instead.
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Ichiru understood that she genuinely cared for him, because even when he was dying, he asked Zero to not hate her, even if Zero can’t forgive her.
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Shizuka also kept her promise to Maria and gave the sickly girl her blood to make her better (in comparison, Rido just took over Senri’s body without asking for permission or giving him anything in return).
And thus Shizuka is a sympathetic villain, and Hino points that out in the interlude chapter where Ichiru comments how Shizuka was “beautiful even as she was dying”, in contrast to Rido, who Kaname once referred to as “the dregs of an ugly obsession.”
Even Kaname felt sympathy for her, because when he killed her, he didn’t just let her drop to the floor but caught her and laid her down carefully on the floor. He also assured her that he would not let her life be wasted, and that he would definitely end Rido.
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And finally, she was a very tragic character, a victim of circumstances herself.
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(This is her history, taken straight from her character profile in the official fan guide)
Shizuka was locked up in a cage as soon as she was born, because apparently some members of the Hio clan had also gone berserk before.
(On a side note, I doubt the Hious had a genetic defect leading to mental illness, it was probably a circumstantial thing, like how Rido most likely started off sane but life took directions that pushed him off the edge towards the end. After all, they are purebloods and their genes are supposed to be flawless. And Rido…I have so many thoughts about that dude, but I will save them for another post.)
Hino never stated how old Shizuka was, but since we know that Rido, Haruka, and Juri are “over 3000” according to the guidebook, she is probably around that age. If we treat the Fleeting Dreams novel as canon, then Shizuka is probably even younger than Juri, because Rido mentions that Shizuka was still “a tiny child” when his parents kept Juri away from him and engaged him to Shizuka instead. So, I assume that Shizuka spent almost 3000 years, her whole life, locked up in a cage with barely any company, except maybe the occasional visitor (like how child Kaname visited her once).
3000 years is a long, long time. To put it into perspective, the USA as a country is roughly 250 years old. So she was locked in a cage, all by herself for the timespan it would take 12 USAs to rise and fall. It is really a wonder how she did not actually go crazy and end up more damaged than she was!
Besides the tragedy of having her freedom taken away, no one loved or cared about her, something mentioned by both Maria and the guidebook. Shizuka herself commented that she was envious of Yuki, who had been cherished, unlike her.
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(A bit of a tangent, but I am quite curious what happened to Shizuka’s parents. Why did they just let her be locked up? It is very irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you aren’t going to bother taking care of it. And it seemed she had family members because Kaname later on killed the head of the Hio clan. IDK what her familial relationship with that particular Hio man was, but she seemed to have been neglected by her own clan.)
Anyway, everyone probably treated her warily, like a bomb that might explode at any time. She was basically an outcast. Take for example how Aidou says it is unlucky to even mention her.
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If there was someone besides her dead lover, Ichiru, and Maria, who did not treat her with suspicion or fear, it was probably Rido, and he certainly did not treat her well either. Ichiru mentions that Rido was the one who imprisoned her and changed the hunter list. Based on that, I assume Rido directly ordered her locked up, or used his influence with the Senate to have them lock her up. Either way, the dude had something to do with it.
Besides locking her up, Rido most likely treated her poorly, him being the way he is. His main issue with her is that she refused to become obedient like Senri’s mom. And IDK about the rest of you, but whenever a man says he wants to make a woman “obedient”, I get bad vibes. He probably did some shady and questionable things in his attempts to make her docile.
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If Shizuka had been engaged to someone else other than Rido, someone more normal, like Isaya, her life would probably have been more bearable. Although Rido did not want her because he was unhealthily obsessed with Juri, he had to ruin Shizuka’s life and happiness instead of just letting her be. He did that out of some petty reasoning, basically “If I can’t be happy, you can’t be happy either”. His decision to put her lover on the execution list led to many tragedies. 
This man is really the root of all evil in VK, LOL.
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Finally, after all those centuries of loneliness, Shizuka met someone who treated her well, for the first time. Thus, her attachment to her ex-human lover was extremely strong, and it made sense why she could not move on, why she was so consumed by revenge. Unlike normal people who can find solace being comforted by friends and family, she doesn’t have that kind of support. And furthermore, she is a pureblood, all of whom have been shown to form extremely strong attachments to the ones they love, and have trouble moving on.
And regarding her lover, we can’t even be sure if he loved her back. Shizuka said that he most likely never forgave her until the end for turning him, and that he never yielded to her, but went with her when she proposed running away together because remaining with her was his only option. Honestly, her lover didn’t seem too happy being with her, or if he did care for her, their relationship was still strained and angsty, not the simple, lovey-dovey relationship Haruka and Juri had.
Overall, her romance was ill-fated, they simply would have never worked out because they were supposed to be predator and prey. I have a feeling that even if the Kiryuus hadn’t been assigned to kill him, she and her ex-human would not have had a happy ending regardless.
Anyway, after Shizuka lost him, she also lost her will to live. She only hung on to life out of the desire to kill Rido, but she wasn’t even seriously trying. Her biggest desire was to die, and we can see that in how she didn’t bother resisting when Kaname killed her. When she laid on the floor dying, she looked the most peaceful she had ever been. Later on, Maria (mistakenly thinking it was Zero who killed her) also commented that Shizuka probably wanted Zero to kill her. Sara also said Shizuka lost her will to live and mentioned how she doesn’t want to become like her.
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Finally, Shizuka was definitely tragic, because even Kaname who killed her pitied her, commenting: “It’s sad isn’t it? I wonder if anyone truly understood her.”
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I love this character partly because I feel so bad for her. While Zero suffered early on, he eventually got to marry the girl he loved and had a daughter with her. Kaname also got to be with Yuki, had a daughter with her and got to meet both daughters and experience being with family when he was revived. But Shizuka…her whole life was a tragedy, and the only time she was happy was that brief period when she was with her lover. However, the time she spend with him was a tiny drop, almost nothing compared to how long her life was overall.
A lot of characters in VK had sadness in their lives, but her life struck me as the worst. If I had to pick someone to be in VK, it would definitely not be her.
IMO, her life was screwed the moment she got engaged to Rido. Even though she wasn’t crazy, she was still locked up and treated like she was. Her circumstances/fate pushed her to make the choices she did and end up a villain. If fate had been kinder to her, she would not have become a villain at all.
Other reasons I love her are because of how beautiful and elegant she is, how she has an air of mystery and sadness, and how her story just interested me the most.
And I get that other people still hate/dislike her regardless of everything I mentioned, and that is alright. This is not meant to convince people to like her, but to explain why I personally love her. So don’t come at me trying to tell me why she is evil and I should be ashamed for liking her okay? (ง'̀-'́)ง
So! If you ever read this long post, Hazel, now you know why she is my favorite character.ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ
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schizosupport · 3 years
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can you tell me more about delusional disorder. i don't mean a google search and all that. i mean if i don't meet criteria for negative symptoms. is it possible i have delusional disorder. im not looking for a diagnoses but more of the lines im experiencing delusions, psycosis, hallucinations, paranoia and catatonia. but i have DID so its complicated. getting a Nero psych and stuff tho. also have bipolar 1.
Hi there! So, up front I’ll let you know that I don’t have personal experience with delusional disorder, so my knowledge is basically text-book knowledge, and that’s what I’ll be working off in this answer.
So basically the DSM defines delusional disorder as a disorder where a person meets the following criteria: A) they have one or more delusions B) they have never lived up to criteria A of schizophrenia (I’ll get back to this). If they have hallucinations, these are heavily tied in with delusional content. C)aside from what the delusions might affect, their behavior and functioning is pretty normal D) the delusions do not primarily occur alongside manic or depressive episodes E) the delusions cannot be explained by another physical or mental condition
So the more interesting part of the question.. now you know as well as I that I cannot diagnose you, but I can give you some clues as to what a psych might think.
First of all, you have bipolar 1, which means you experience manic episodes and potentially depressive episodes. Now, if your psychotic symptoms (including delusions) happen only during the course of a mood episode, then all of your symptoms can be explained by your current diagnosis of bipolar I.
If, on the other hand, these symptoms occur both in and outside of mood episodes, in such a way that you experience delusions and hallucinations for at least two weeks in the absence of a mood episode.. then the psych is likely to look into schizoaffective disorder, which in simple terms can be explained as a mood disorder + schizophrenia. 
You mention not living up to negative symptoms as a reason why you think delusional disorder might be the fit for you. I’m going to have to say that you’re very unlikely to get a delusional disorder diagnosis, because of a few reasons that you might already have noted, but I’ll also spell it out. 
Basically, you have too many symptoms of psychosis to get this label. Even supposing that your hallucinations always tie in with your delusions, catatonia is a type of disorganization not allowed for in this disorder. This brings me back to the criteria for schizophrenia.
Bc the thing is.. while negative symptoms are common in schizophrenia, and one of the signs psychs look for, under the DSM it is entirely possible to be diagnosed with schizophrenia while exhibiting zero negative symptoms! Having hallucinations, paranoia, delusions and catatonic symptoms is quite enough for this diagnosis, even if most people ALSO have some negative symptoms.
The way diagnoses work, basically they usually list a number of symptoms, and you need to have so many out of so many to qualify. Now there are more criteria to schizophrenia such as duration of psychosis and level of impairment, but on the basic level your symptoms do not disqualify you.
However, since you do have bipolar I, it’s most likely that the psych will either rule that this covers your psychotic symptoms (if they mostly occur during mood episodes), or as I said, they will look into schizoaffective.
I hope this helped prepare you a little for what to expect!! I haven’t touched on the DID aspect - there can be some overlap in DID and psychosis and telling certain symptoms apart, but I don’t think that making this answer any longer will benefit anyone.. :P
Best regards,
Cat
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hongkongartman-mlee · 4 years
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Eason Chan Sings To Promote Mental Well Being. My Personal Sharing Too: Shall We Talk? 
Mental health is about how we, driven by our brain, act and react cognitively, behaviourally and emotionally. In other words, it affects how we think, feel and behave in our daily life. Every day, most of us stay fit and normal: we can sleep, wake up, work, talk to friends, recognize our family members and know the way home. All are taken by us for granted. The absence of a mental disorder, in reality, can be a luxury for some people suffering. When our mental health is in trouble, it harms our daily living, relationship with others and even physical health such as insomnia. Looking after our mental health and avoiding conditions such as stress, depression and anxiety will be very important if we want to preserve the ability to enjoy life.
I have chaired the Mental Health Review Tribunal in Hong Kong for more than 2 years. I went to the following places almost once a week. The Tribunal is an independent body established to safeguard the rights of mental patients being detained in mental hospitals such as Castle Peak Hospital, mental wards of ordinary hospitals such as Kowloon Hospital and mental prison such as Siu Lam Psychiatric Centre. We hear cases which are either applications by the patients or referrals by an institution in respect of detainees and will decide if such persons can be discharged from the institutions back to community. The Tribunal listens to many parties including a patient, his family members, the treatment doctor and responsible social worker. Many factors are taken into account and the fundamental consideration is: will the discharge constitute a danger, or a risk of such danger, to the safety and health of the patient himself or protection of the public?
Happiness of a mental patient, after getting well and the discharge, can easily be shared by the Tribunal. The worst thing is that we cannot share, as much as we want to share, the pain of a patient who is still required to receive medical treatment and unable to return home. The saddest moments are when the patients did not realize the circumstances that they were facing. For some severe mentally retarded inmates, they would likely spend the rest of their lives in mental hospital.
Hong Kong is getting more and more apathetic as a society. There is nothing warmer than someone who goes out to make life kind for others. If you can go out and make some good things happen, you will fill Hong Kong with hope, and will also fill yourself with hope because your life is more meaningful than others. It is sad to know that a large number of people in Hong Kong are mentally suffering. How can a man or woman in the street join our meaningful cause? You can contribute in 3 ways:
(1).     We all possess a powerful tool to aid someone: listening. For a mental patient or man experiencing symptoms of a mental health crisis, an empathetic listener can be calming and healing. When we listen, we try to imagine what it feels like to be the person in front of us.
(2).     Negative stereotypes are often associated with mental illness. We should stop labelling a mental patient. The labelling is a cruelty to those afflicted and their relatives. While we dislike discrimination against ourselves, we must learn to recognise that mental illness is just a common health issue that you and I may face at any time.
(3).     When your relative or friend is confused and fraught with emotions, you should push him to seek the perspectives of a doctor or social worker. ‘Ask for help’ is a must because mental illness may get worse or become out of control quickly. 
In July 2020, Hong Kong Government launched a public awareness campaign called ‘Shall We Talk’ with the objective of promoting better understanding about mental health and eliminating stigmatization towards persons with mental health needs. The campaign spokesman is the popular singer Eason Chan who said that he suffered from the depression disorder in 2012.
Learning a few common types of mental health problems is useful. The following is not an exhaustive list:
(1).     mixed anxiety and depressive disorder—like being over-worried, persistently down and difficult to fall asleep.
(2).     psychosis—like having hallucinations in perception and delusions in thinking.
(3).     depression—like feeling worthless or desperate and at the same time, losing interest in things that one used to like.
(4).   �� anxiety disorder—like anticipating an impending danger or being in a state of constant panic.
(5).     autism—like having difficulty in social interaction and repetitive behaviours.
(6).     bipolar disorder—like displaying depressive and manic symptoms simultaneously.
(7).     ADHD—like hyperactivity, impulsiveness and inattention.
Mental health is important for everyone. When you know anyone is facing a mental health challenge, just tap him or her on the shoulder and utter softly, “My friend, you are not alone! Shall we talk?”
MLee
[Announcement In the Public Interest] https://youtu.be/oXzuN2jikp0
[Appeal Video] https://youtu.be/qVeZOKqULZA
[Music Video] https://youtu.be/0OAeMI0KWLU
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psychotic-psypport · 3 years
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Thank you for your blog!!!
TW: media ableism, slurs, delusions, nonverbal auditory hallucinations, mentions of bullying, mentions of misdiagnosis
CW: infodump
How do you feel about reclaiming fictional characters who are written by ableist writers but nevertheless mean a lot to you? I have this one character, we are almost polar opposites in some important things, but I have always related to them so much in terms of mental illness, to the point of once, soon after I first met them, having a delusion on being them under human disguise with false memories (a thing in this canon, it is generally extremely psychosis-triggering and I'm making a list of the main triggers to post. Several affected me back then, but even though I still love that canon). That was way before I got diagnosed, first thought that they might be schizo-spec too and actually learned what schizophrenia is (pretty much in that order).
They are one of the core reappearing antagonists, and yes, that's as bad as it sounds. I'm on my way on going through all their appearances, but for now I'm mostly familliar with the later ones. So, I don't know how schizo-spec were they shown originally, but :))))) I know that the main character called them "m*d and paranoid" in one of the early appearances :)))))) F*CK. The character responded that everyone is, but they admit it. Fast forward to the time where the series died and after 15 years of books-and-audios-only was revived on screen: that's when things got HORRIBLE. The character got introduced into the revived series returning from being disguised as human with false memories, what I mentioned earlier — thanks for inducing delusions!!!!! Much appreciated!!!!!!! But this was, like, the least bad part for a while. The writers suddenly gave them a constant abstract auditory hallucination (four-beat rhythm, the heartbeat of their species) which they never had been mentioned having before, AAAAAND they got a delusion that it is "calling for them", and tried to turn Earth into a warship and conquer the universe thinking an eternal destruction might stop the drumming. Things are even worse because the actor still wanted to give them depth but the writer/showrunner 'pushed him to play "giggling lunatic"' (TV Tropes quote)! In their next appearance, still with the same actor and writer (also the last episode by that writer) they are still psychotic, but this time they have a lot of depth and it's honestly still my favorite episode in the entire show. But, don't know how it counts, but: their hallucination turned out to not be a hallucination but was implanted into their head as a child so that looking for the means to stop it they would save their home planet from the eternal war (the story is actually longer than I said it) and then the person who did this wanted to dispose of them.
Oh and yes I had this hallucination when I had the delusion of being them and thanks to that shit I thought it's more than a simple hallucination without any additional delusions :)))))))))
Their next several appearances, with a different writer and a different actress, are usually much less ableist in itself, but the actress constantly called them cr*zy/ins*ne/etc in interviews and there are some other gross ableist things. The previous actor and writer did that too. And the next, current actor and writer seemed to be a GIFT — they recognized them as mentally ill, recognized their depth, they did not call them names, they respected them!! And the actor is an absolute GOD in playing them. But some of the promos were f*cking ugly, and in the last interview the actor did, in the end, call them cr*zy. That was a full stop knife in the back. I could not believe it.
The main character is repeatedly ableist to them too — "m*d and paranoid", "psychiatrist field day", "a lunatic". Thanks, I hate it
So, why don't I throw it all into the Ableism Garbage Can?
They were pretty much the first character to whom I related in terms of mental illness. Like me, they were emotionally unstable, codependent, depressed, constantly on fire mentally, had lifelong identity crisis, and that was way before I learned what else united us.
Also, they, together with the main character, were bullied as a child, and it was the first time I saw a character who shared the traumatic experience which unfortunately shaped my whole life, and their experience wasn't mocked in any way. That meant and still means SO MUCH to me.
(and yes, this point was written by an entirely different person than those who wrote them in the revived TV series)
When I got diagnosed, I first thought that I was misdiagnosed — I thought I was autistic for a long time, and I got diagnosed with Pseudoneurotic Schizophrenia, which is a subtype of Schizotypal in my country, and many autistic people in my country get misdiagnosed as schizotypal. But I started to read about it and it was the first thing ever that explained what the hell was I going through.
(I still think I'm misdiagnosed — I'm most probably Schizoaffective bipolar subtype, but the doctors in the hospital didn't take my bipolar symptomatic in account. I'm going to a new psychiatrist this Sunday, and I hope to talk to him about it)
So I desperately needed schizo-spectrum characters to relate. Characters to relate were always a biggest thing for me, long before this one. Aaaand I first had a thought, then fully realized that they shared this experience to me, too.
I first met them five years ago, and got diagnosed half a year ago, all this time they were there for me when I most needed it, along with several other characters, but they are still the only schizo-spectrum character among them. I don't want to let go of them. I want to reclaim them.
What I told about are not the only instances of them showing schizo-spec symptoms, and I want to make a big post on it once, perhaps when I'm familiar with all their appearances. And I'm on my way, and I'm moving!
I'm also writing a fanfic about them, and I want to explore the topic, along with everything that I appreciate in them and a general deep character study.
Also: their homeworld used "insanity" as a term about them — it has probably about early XX-century concept of psychiatry (barring the sh*tty gender things, literally the only good thing about that society is a complete absence of gender), and back then it was a legitimate term for psychosis (please don't think I'm defending the early XX-century psychiatry or the character's homeworld). So, pretty much confirms.
My answer for this is probably gonna be a lot shorter than the ask, mostly because I feel a very strong pull in one direction.
It's ok to claim characters like this! Death of the author! Frankly, we've seen it happen a lot where the whole fandom of a piece of media goes "ok, my character now". It's especially understandable if you relate to this character like you do. Honestly, take what you can and take what you want from this and discard the pieces you don't want. You don't want to defend this behavior of course, but there's not a thing wrong with claiming this character as your own and finding yourself in them. You are allowed this, and you don't have to ask anyone's permission. Kinda like the other ask I got earlier, who finds themself in and enjoys the Shining, it's ok to enjoy it even if it's problematic. We don't get much representation, so mostly we come away with villains, which sucks, but you get to do with those characters what you please, no one can stop you from relating or feeling connected to the character. If they give us the scarcist representation possible, is it really a failing on our part when we connect with the few characters we find like us? I don't think so. It's only natural to seek these parts of yourself in media, and they just happen to mostly show up in an ableist/derogatory/stereotypical way with villains.
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scoutbert · 5 years
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I experienced psychosis. This is what I want people to know.
TW: talks of mental illness, mention of suicidal thoughts/ideation.
I don't really talk about this that much because there is SO much stigma and misinformation. Like so bad. And it's really personal and I feel like people get shit on for talking openly about it "too much" or whatever. But I have experienced psychosis and occasionally I get some symptoms of it. Most people hear "psychosis" and immediately think of something like a naked man running around in public, or someone wearing a tinfoil hat to keep the government out of their brain. While those things can and do happen, that's more of a generalized stereotype. Experiencing psychosis is NOT the same as having schizophrenia; psychosis is a symptom rather than an illness. Psychotic episodes may last a few hours or several weeks. Below I have a list of some experiences people who are psychotic may experience. The parts in asterisks are those I have firsthand experienced.
Behavioral: aggression, agitation, *disorganized behavior*, hostility, *hyperactivity*, hypervigilance, lack of restraint, nonsense word repetition, persistent repetition of words or actions, *repetitive movements, restlessness, self-harm*, or *social isolation*
Cognitive: belief that an ordinary event has special and personal meaning, belief that thoughts aren't one's own, *confusion, difficulty thinking and understanding, disorientation, false belief of superiority, memory loss, racing thoughts, slowness in activity, thought disorder, thoughts of suicide, or unwanted thoughts*
Mood: anger, *anxiety, apathy, excitement, feeling detached from self, general discontent, limited range of emotions, loneliness, or nervousness*
Psychological: *depression, fear, hearing voices*, manic episode, *paranoia, persecutory delusion*, religious delusion, or *visual hallucinations*
Speech: deficiency of speech, *excessive wordiness*, incoherent speech, or *rapid and frenzied speaking*
Also common: *nightmares* or tactile hallucination
Most likely, someone who is in psychosis is NOT VIOLENT OR A THREAT. People with mental illness are as likely to be violent or criminal as neurotypical people. Most aggression stems from the beliefs of being persecuted or confused and disoriented.
When I was 15 I had an acute psychotic episode. I was hearing 2 voices, both of which basically kept telling me to kill myself whenever I was near something I could harm myself with. Walking over a bridge, near a highway/train tracks, cutting food, shaving, etc. I had nightmares every night about being chased and hunted by the mundane people in my life- teachers, doctors, family, friends. My grades plummeted at school because I barely knew what was going on. I had few friends. It was terrifying and lonely. I went to Butler Hospital (inpatient) and was stabilized but over medicated. Seroquel. Terrible drug. Killed the voices but made me gain a lot of weight and fall asleep constantly in public. I stopped taking it because I became convinced my doctors were part of a gigantic corporate scam to poison my "brilliant mind" specifically to stop me from being a whistleblower, a savior of the people so to speak. I am mostly stable now.
Lately I have been having a *few* symptoms. Mild ones- mild enough I have insight that I am experiencing them, rather than not having insight and being duped by the symptoms. I believe these are the product of certain substances I use recreationally. As a result, I am going to stop doing them.
The reason I wrote this post is because I am starting to realize sometimes the people around me might notice some of these behaviors from me. I may say things that don't make sense, only have "loose associations" to the conversation, talk too fast, too much, or use too many words to get a relatively simple point across. Or even fail to get a point across. I may not hear you at all, I may look like my brain is a thousand miles away, I might say strange things. You may notice me "zoning out" but I may be focusing on a subtle hallucination, which consists of psychedelic-looking overlay on normal items such as geometric figures, or warping of figures. I may seem nervous or fidgety/make repetitive movements like rocking. I might laugh inappropriately (when something isn't that funny or doesn't make sense to be laughed at) or have a lack of appropriate emotional response to certain things (not crying to very sad things, or being very emotional/angry over very little things.) Some of these are cross-occurring due to being depressed and having PTSD.
I want the people in my life to know I'm not a danger to them. I am in counseling, I'm on medications, I know when it's time to seek a higher level of care (hospitalization.) I ask for empathy, understanding, support and most importantly, your patience. I'm still the same Scout. All these things have affected my life for 5 years and I barely told anyone. In fact I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this didn't know most of this about me.
I really need people to educate themselves on this because the media is full of horseshit. It is a disgusting lack of truth and rife with stereotypes/misinformation. I also request that er stop throwing the words "psycho" and "delusional" around as insults to people we don't like/disagree with because it furthers the stigma and reutilizes the MEDICAL language so important to my life. I see everyone calling for people to be more sensitive about saying they're "so bipolar/OCD/ADHD" as casual adjectives rather than tangible disorders and also call for that same energy to be applied to things such as psychosis/mania/etc.
If anyone has any questions please PM me privately. Thanks.
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flightysquip · 4 years
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hi, what are some signs i should look for if i think i'm bipolar?
thank you for the ask!  so first thing i want to say, i am NOT a medical or psychiatric professional, but i know sometimes it helps just to have a sort of baseline
so first off, if you think something is wrong, you should see a doctor.  full stop.  the thing with bipolar specifically is you really shouldn’t self-medicate.  it’s tempting--god it’s tempting as hell--but while i’m all for self diagnosis, the thing is self-dx isn’t going to be enough to get the resources you’ll very likely need.  there’s a lot that you can do to help yourself, yes, but that’s more supplemental coping mechanisms than treatment on its own.  please, see a professional.  i understand that insurance can make this difficult, and anxiety, and i know it’s not as simple as just ‘see a doctor’--i KNOW it’s hard.  but it really is best if you do see one.  i’m not an expert by any means, but if you’re having trouble figuring out who to see or what sorts of financial options you have, or if you just need someone to help you make a phone call, or anything, i will do what i can to help you find these resources.
i also highly recommend, if you’re able to, taking someone with you for this initial appointment/assessment.  outside observations can really help pinpoint symptoms you don’t even realize you exhibit.  the relative objectivity can absolutely be good for your mental health.  also, having someone on your side in a situation that can feel frightening and unfamiliar can be important enough.  it’s important to find someone who can be a good advocate and support without actively speaking over you, though.  outside observations are important, yes, but you need to be able to communicate too.
now with that out of the way, as far as some signs to look out for...i mean, obviously mood swings are going to be the big one.  it was called manic-depression for a reason, right?  the real important thing to keep in mind is the extremes--extreme highs (i’m talking euphoria) and extreme lows.  everyone has mood swings, yeah.  everyone has various emotions.  not everyone goes from the pure nirvana of feeling like an omnipotent god among mortals to the crushing devastation of not even being worthy of suicide or leaving a pretty corpse.  (also, hey, important sidenote, mentally healthy people don’t want to kill themselves anyway, so even if you’re not bipolar, wanting to kill yourself, even in an idle sort of way, is reason enough to seek out professional help)
but that all sounds pretty subjective, right?  it’s hard to judge whether something is ‘how people usually feel’ or ‘am i unbalanced in some way’.  especially if you’re afab, it’s super easy for people to dismiss your feelings as “hormonal” or “pms”.  hey, for the record?  even if it is "just pms”, if you’re distressed enough by your emotions to want to kill yourself?  no fucking normal and not okay.  you deserve better.  also frankly, just because something is “hormones” doesn’t invalidate the pain or suffering of it, so screw their sexist bullshit anyway.
the big things i can think of with bipolar off the top of my head though, if i had to bullet point it, would be:
extremes in moods
risk taking behaviors (gambling, hypersexuality, picking fights with strangers, theft, drug use--so i’m not talking about “likes to ride rollercoasters a lot” as a risk taking behavior, i mean things with very real world consequences)
moderation? what’s that? (everything is an extreme of an extreme, black and white absolutes.  indulgence and lack of impulse control)
delusions of grandeur (you think you’re the most important person in the room, you have a sense of being ‘the main character’ in the narrative of life, you literally think you’re a good, you’re the most talented/most intelligent/the only qualified person on any subject whatsoever)
disrupted sleep patterns (too much/too little sleep)
disrupted eating patterns (too much/too little eating)
aggressive/agitated mood at little to no provocation
inconsistent/illogical mixed mood patterns (suicidal fixations in the midst of an otherwise pleasant mood, fits of anger during sadness, etc etc)
precarious moods (specifically being in a very good mood/emotional state, only for something very minor to completely knock you down again)
memory issues and issues with the perception/passage of time (suddenly realizing it’s midnight when it seemed like it was just 9 am a moment ago)
making big bold lifechanging plans on a whim (suddenly deciding to move across the country, changing career with little research or thought into it before)
financial irresponsibility (reckless shopping sprees, buying things on a whim continuously on unnecessary things, opening multiple credit cards and maxing them out)
a lot of these are specifically mania-focused, i’ll admit, because i feel like culturally, there’s more education on things to look for in depression.  there’s also a good deal of overlap between symptoms with bp compared to other disorders.  that is to say, just because some of these things ring true to you, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bipolar (off the top of my head, other things that have similar symptoms are bpd and adhd, but that’s not an exhaustive list, of course).  
and i also cannot stress enough to listen to those around you.  the thing about delusions is, when you’re in the midst of them, you probably don’t realize you’re being delusional.  it’s sorta be design.  the thing about being angry is, when you’re in the midst of your rage, self-righteous fury can feel really toxically good, or at least justified (and it certainly feels better than depression and numbness).  the thing about euphoria is you really don’t have much of an interest in ‘baseline stability’.  the thing is, the delusions go away, the rage fades into shame, and euphoria is not sustainable.  a trusted loved one expressing concern can feel like an attack, but it can actually be a gift to have some clarity when everything is so stormy and off.
that being said, you never mentioned a loved one saying you may exhibit symptoms, so that’s just a tangent.  my advice really is: if you think you’re bipolar after seeing others with the disorder or reading about symptoms or listening to your gut, please see a doctor.�� whether you get confirmation or not, there’s no shame in seeking help.  i know a lot of people say that these disorders are a moral failing, that they mean you’re predisposed to bad behaviors or toxic mindsets, but that’s just uneducated fear-mongering.  i don’t advocate for treatment because i think you’re broken or wrong if you’re untreated.  i advocate for treatment because you deserve to have a healthy, happy, stable life.  you deserve better for yourself.
i hope this helped answer your question.  thank you again for the ask!
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inanawesomewave · 5 years
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FIVE MINUTES INTO SHERLOCK AND CHILL AND THE EMPATH GIVES YOU THIS LOOK
I write a lot on this post about self diagnosis, the aspirational notion of sociopathy, sociopathy as wish-fulfilment, and the danger and offence that comes with throwing the term around and applying it to you or anyone else based off some deeper darkness you feel you or someone else has. But things are serious. I want to go into depth, so we really know where we are. It feels ASPD is one of those things that people need, and people hate. But I want to remind you, it’s still a mental illness, and it still comes with pitfalls. We’re not just spending all day languishing in our own seductive power, or having perfect control over every aspect of our lives. We’re not working on Wall Street, devastatingly attractive, hitting every target and charming everyone we meet from the word go. I talk a lot on this blog about the real pain of it, and I hope that this is a place people come for real discussions about the disorder. In that spirit, it’s time for another rundown on what ASPD is and what it is not, and the easiest way to do that is to rely on the criteria in the DSM-V, the diagnostic guidelines that clinicians in the Western world have to follow for this diagnosis to be made. Because that’s how it works, there’s a list of things and if you do the things then you have the thing. If you don’t do the things then you don’t have the things. It’s not as easy as watching Sherlock and admiring Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance, or identifying with other villains in fiction -- they are written for you to empathise with them. The best villain is created with just enough humanity that you want to feel for them, see the good in them, and the purpose of this in good fiction is to make you question yourself, your motivations and your limits. Emily Bronte wrote Heathcliff in such a way that whilst he is motivated by only vengeance, obsession and hate, you want to like him, and you want to rescue him. Feeling that way does not make you a sociopath. It makes you a human being who is responding to art in the way the art hoped you would. So let’s run through.  1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest. So this one basically means, you’re committing crimes, disrespecting authority in an outward manner, refusing to accept any kind of dominant law or force, and violating legal boundaries in however way you see fit. It’s not something you switch on and off, nor is it something exclusively motivated by personal gain. It doesn’t mean “I once stole a lipstick from a shop”, it is a pervasive, repeated pattern of behaviour that doesn’t ease off when the motivation disappears. It’s not the same as thinking it. Just because you think that in a certain situation you’d behave psychopathically, it doesn’t mean you are. If your sociopathy or psychopathy depends on a special set of circumstances to function, then it doesn’t exist.  2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure So again, this doesn’t mean isolated incidents. It’s not about sometimes talking someone round to something. Psychopaths tend to lie and con, and anecdotally I’ve found that sociopaths do one or the other in excess, mine was always conning. What this meant for me was the conning was the game, and the success of the conning was the goal. If you are only doing this every so often and it has a clear motivation other than just doing it for the sake of it, you are not a sociopath. 
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead This is quite a universal symptom that can apply to a lot of mental illnesses, so fair enough. There’s many reasons why someone would have no motivation to plan ahead. And the impulsivity we’re talking about here, again, is pervasive. It’s not the impulse to do something slightly out of the ordinary for a change, and whilst addictive behaviours are often comorbid with ASPD, this criterion means that your impulses are ongoing, hard to control, and are causing problems in your life. Impulses may be violent or disruptive, they may come from anger, they might be harmful. The impulse to spend an extra £20 on clothes isn’t a personality disorder. It’s treating yourself, and it’s nice to treat yourself. 
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults If you don’t understand rage, you don’t understand ASPD. I’ve written a lot on here (and, disclaimer, I’m not fitting the entire description of ASPD on my own personal experiences exclusively, I’m going off research, speaking with other sociopaths, case studies, etc.). It’s not a very well controlled rage. It’s not sensible. It’s not considerate. It’s not clever. So a recent article I read said that sociopaths and psychopaths live with two different kinds of rage: there’s baseline rage, and then rage that has been provoked. This means that naturally, if a situation arises where conflict could exist, we will take it. But it also means, we’re angry as shit all the time anyway. It’s pathetic, I know that, but it’s there. We’re just angry. It’s exhausting. It’s physically tiring, and we would stop it if we could. You can walk away from it, that’s fine. You don’t have to understand it. But this is, for me at least, the cornerstone of ASPD. It’s simmering, endless, impotent rage that stems from a deep held belief that conflict is everywhere, that conflict is safer than no conflict, and that we have to come out on top at all times. No sociopath is sitting there thinking, “I’m sure it’ll work out for the best”, or “I wonder what a morally good person would do?”. We are (see above) impulsive, quick to react, easily provoked, and lacking in empathy. Rage is real. It’s constant, and sharp.
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others Getting drunk every so often or taking a bunch of cocaine is called enjoying yourself. Inviting dangerous people into your home and involving other people in a dangerous lifestyle because you have no will to help or protect them because you don’t care about yourself and you also have no empathy is ASPD. 
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations We can’t keep jobs. We wish we could. We’re impatient jerks who don’t know what a good thing is, because we’re cynical. Don’t go to work because you’re anxious? See a doctor about your anxiety. Don’t go to work because you have no respect for your boss and the mere fact they told you to answer to them has spiked that rage again? Maybe you have ASPD.
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another. I’m not going to labour on this one too much but for Christ’s sake, everyone says and does hurtful things from time to time and when we do those things, it makes sense to rationalise it, because that’s a human way to protect yourself, it’s normal. Going out of your way to cause harm, to push people away from you, to watch someone hurt, and to feel extremely justified in that with no room for, “but what if...?” is ASPD. If someone’s pissed you off but you know that arguing with them would make them feel worse, you don’t have ASPD.  I’m writing this because I cannot fucking hear it any more. I go to therapy. I am exhausted by myself. Anger has worn me down, I look tired, I have a suspected overactive adrenal gland that my therapist agrees is what happens when you spend your whole life on edge. It’s isolating, we get lonely, we don’t know how to have normal relationships, we’re unable to show the ones we care about that we care, then we trick ourselves into not caring. We make ourselves lonely, we’re in pain. And that’s not to say that if you don’t have ASPD you’re not in pain, but remember what a personality disorder is - it’s something that gets in the way of you living your life. If you’ve not received a diagnosis, and you’ve not done anything where a diagnosis had to be made, and you’re not getting arrested, or pushing everyone you love away, then don’t worry. You’re not living with ASPD. And you know this pro-self dx, “well not everyone has access to a psychiatrist” argument? Well I don’t have access to an oncologist, and that’s because i’ve never needed one. That doesn’t mean I can diagnose myself with cancer, it means the lack of an oncologist in my life is a pretty big clue that I do not have cancer.  It’s still a mental illness, and you’re still appropriating someone else’s struggle. You can’t have bipolar disorder without mood swings, and you can’t have agoraphobia if you’ve never had a panic attack, and you wouldn’t try to shoehorn yourself into these diagnoses because they’re not cool or sexy. If you’re trying to redefine sociopathy so specifically you fit into it, worse -- if you’re trying to tell diagnosed sociopaths how they should be experiencing their sociopathy based on your wishful thinking, ask yourself if you would sit down with a schizophrenic and tell them that, despite having never hallucinated or experienced a delusion, you’re really just like them. 
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mommasgotbpd15 · 4 years
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Forgive me, this is LONG.
Mental Illness facts and figures
This all started as an intervention, which turned into a research paper because I’m so passionate about advocating for those who suffer from mental illnesses. Thanks for reading.
 As someone who suffers from many mental conditions discussed in this report, I wrote this in hopes of spreading true awareness of the conditions themselves and statistics related to them.
 Some of the biggest obstacles of seeking psychiatric treatment are admitting you need help, and adequate access to the care and treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, such as suicidal or homicidal thoughts, please call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255, 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. Remember, seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.
             Did you know that suicide is the #10 cause of death in the U.S? Or that it is the #2 cause of death among individuals aged 10 to 34 years of age? Mental illnesses is responsible for 1 in 8 emergency care visits, with mood disorders being the most common reason for hospitalization, regardless of if it is voluntary (201) or involuntary (302,303,304). As of April 2019, the world’s population was 7.7 billion. Of those 7.7 billion, 47.6, or 1 in every 5, suffer from a mental illness; with 29.1 million individuals experiencing major depressive disorder or other serious conditions. It is also reported that 43% of adults experience suicidal ideations or planning, and another 17 million adults have experienced at least one major depressive episode within the past year.
           There are many myths surrounding depression and other mental illness. It is often thought that depression is a situational disorder, triggered by sad or stressful occurences in life, however it is not. Depression is a chronic and clinical illness, not just a mood or feeling. It is a disorder that affects how your brain works, not just a thought or feeling. Similar to Alzheimer’s and dementia, it affects your memory. Treatment of depression is a complex process, and it is not one size fits all. What works for one person, may not work for another; medications are odten a requirement for those suffering with a mental condition and should not be considered “an easy way out”. The stigma associated with mental illness is known as sanism.
           In the spring of 2019, Max Guttman presented an statement that decriminalizing mental illness requires a new approach that includes clear and factual definitions of what a psychiatric condition is or is not, what it may or may not imply, and what it does and does not do.
           A psychiatric diagnosis is a cluster of symptoms seen in the general population included under a diagnostic label, and code called an HCC. They describe the thinking process and behavioral patterns seen in a specific diagnosis, that imply that an individual requires specific and tailored help concerning a specific problematic thought and behavior pattern. Psychiatric diagnosis, however, is not a comprehensive understanding of an individual, and their needs. It also cannot define what someone intends to do at any given time and will not predict the beautiful and varied actions and thoughts of an individual; you are not a criminal, you are a human being.
           There are many different psychiatric diagnoses, and the symptoms often overlap. This is called comorbidity; where as 2 or more mood disorders occur at the same time. Schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar depression also known as manic depression, and dissociative disorders are the most commonly occurring, with personality disorders occurring much less often. An example of a common comorbidity is schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. Individuals with schizoaffective disorder are often misdiagnosed with solely bipolar or schizophrenia because schizoaffective disorder is much more rare than the latter, and requires more care than other disorders.
           Schizoaffective disorder commonly presents the same symptoms as schizophrenia, such as hallucinations and delusions, as well as symptoms of a mood disorder such as mania which is described as periods of extreme highs, or depression which is a series of extreme lows. Presentations varies from person to person, as some will experience hallucinations and or delusions with mania, such as switching quickly from topic to topic and responding inappropriately, making risky decisions in regards to behavior and action,and giving responses that are completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Others will experience depression as well as hallucinations and delusions, resulting in extreme lethargy, acting uninterested in people or activities, feeling hopeless, and suicidal thoughts.
Often, you will hear people say “people with bipolar are moody” because they do not understand the process of the brain when affected by bipolar. Bipolar disorder does not cause mood swings, contrary to popular belief, but instead it causes cycles of mania and depression usually lasting several weeks and even years at times. This disorder causes episodes of mania, including all actions listed in the previous paragraph, as well as excessive energy, rampant thoughts, and inability to sleep. Individuals often experience a slow transition from mania to depression, which includes inability to concentrate and suicidal thoughts. Unlike the popular misconception, this disorder does not cause moods to shift rapidly, rather the types of episode take turns. In the united states alone, 5 million individuals suffer from bipolar.                                              Personality disorders make it hard for an individual to relate to others in healthy ways, therefore they experience difficulties forming relationships. Antisocial personality, one example of a personality disorder, often bully others and cause harm, with no remorse. Borderline Personality disorder (BPD), causes extreme anxiety and fear of being abandoned. Those suffering from BPD feel emotions intensely due to inability to regulate them, therefore it is harder for those individuals to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally triggering event, and the end of an episode. The cause of BPD are not fully understood, but scientists are in agreement that it is attributed to a combinations of factors, including genetics, environmental influences and brain function or lack thereof. It is believed that the emotional regulation system is different than those without BPD, suggesting there is a neurological basis for its symptoms.                         Many individuals who suffer from BPD are often diagnosed with a dissociative disorder along with BPD. The symptoms of dissociative disorders piggy back off of BPD, meaning that because they are experiencing things so intensely, it is easy for them to “opt out” of reality and be unaware of their surroundings and things going on in the world around them.
Many psychiatric conditions can reach a stage of remission, with the use of medications and several other forms pf therapy. The most common form of drug used in the treatment of these conditions are called reuptake inhibitors. Reuptake is the process by which neurotransmitters are naturally reabsorbed into nerve cells after they are released to send messages between nerve cells. There are three different types of Reuptake Inhibitors: SSRI, SNRI, AND NDRI.                                                      SSRI represents drugs called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. This is the class where you can find the commonly prescribed antidepressants such as Celexa, Lexapro, and Zoloft.           SNRI represents drugs called Serotonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors.  These drugs are newer types of antidepressants including Cymbalta, Effexor, Khedezla,, Fetiza, and Pristiq. These drugs not only block the reuptake of serotonin, but also the reuptake of norepinephrine too.                                                                                                                                    NDRI represents Norepinephrine and Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors. This class only contains one drug, known as Wellbutrin (bupropion). Wellbutrin has also be known to aid in the cessation of using nicotine products.                                                                                                     Along with the drugs listed above there is also drugs known as Tetracyclics and SARIs. Tetracyclics include Ascendin (asamoxapine), Ludimol (maprotiline), and Remeron (mirtazapine). SARIs or Serotonin Antagonist and Reuptake Inhibitors act in two ways. They prevent the reuptake of serotonin, but also prevent dopamine particles from binding at unintended receptors and redirects them to help mood nerve cells within mood circuts. These include Serozone and Trazadone.                                                                                                                                                        In addition to antidepressants, individuals may be prescribed a drug called a Mood Stabilizer. These are drugs which treat mania and depressive episodes, and are also commonly prescribed as anticonvulsants, such as Carbamazepine, Lamitcal (lamotrigine) and Depakene.
           A drug called an Antipsychotic which is a drug used to treat symptoms of psychosis, are also commonly prescribed among those with mental conditions, and may be taken in conjunction with mood stabilizers, or taken alone. The most common antipsychotic drugs are Abilify, Vraylar, Seroquel (Quetiapine), and Zyprexa.                                                                                                                     For those who suffer sleep problems in conjunction with or as a result of psychiatric conditions and bipolar symptoms will often be prescribed a drug called a Benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, and Ativan. Benzodiazepines have sedating qualities and may slow your brains activity enough that you can sleep.                                                                                             The common side effects of all of these drugs can range from mild to severe. Nausea, sexual dysfunction, and weight gain can be somewhat easily resolved. More severe side effects such as liver or kidney damage may be irreversible and even fatal.                                                                            The biggest obstacles in getting psychiatric treatment are admitting you need help despite fear of being judged or labeled, and adequate access to care and treatment.                                                    I can personally attest that it is absolutely terrifying to be presented to a team of doctors and nurses, especially in the midst of a psychotic episode. Treatment is trial and error, or a learning curve in learning what your diagnosis entails and how to treat it. Even more terrifying is the stigma the public has associated with mental illness. We are not “dangerous”, “crazy” or “criminals”. We are normal people. If you are involuntarily committed (302) like I was, you lose the privilege to own guns. Did I miss the part where I killed someone? We are made to feel as though we are wrong for being human and experiencing normal feelings when in reality those who judge us are in the wrong.                                                                                                                                                          We need to end the stigma and normalize and decriminalize being mentally ill and seeking help. Imagine how many lives can be saved just by having a simple conversation. We are human and we should be treated as such.                                                                                                                  I wrote this paper in hopes that even just one more person has a better understanding of the things mental illness mean for someone suffering one, and open the floor up for conversations about how you are feeling, symptoms you are experiencing and any abnormal thoughts such as suicidal or homicidal thoughts you may experience. YOU can make a difference in someone’s life, just by asking them what is going on in their head at any given moment. They may be reluctant to open up to you, but once they do, they will be happy the did. You must treat the thoughts and feelings they express to you as confidential information unless they are posing a serious threat to themselves or others around them.
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ryoukenkogami · 5 years
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Schizophrenia Awareness Month 2019 // Day 2: delusions
This… is probably going to be the hardest topic for me to talk about out of all of them to be quite honest. No matter how far I’ve come in the process of accepting myself and being open about my struggles, my delusions are the one thing I’ve very rarely (if at all?) spoken about publicly because quite frankly? I’m still afraid of what people will think of me. They were, however, the first symptom I began experiencing back senior year of high school. At the time I was going through my most prolonged mental health spiral to date and this was also the time period I first started seeing a psychiatrist (and they refused to diagnose me with anything other than severe depression even though I was referred to see one because of my therapist thinking I was displaying traits of type ii bipolar disorder… which I was later diagnosed with that summer, and which my medication for actually helps unlike the ridiculous list of antidepressants they tried to put me on prior to that). At the time my delusions were a safe haven for me; they made me feel like everything going to shit was okay and that I could just ignore it, because in the end none of it would matter. I won’t go into too much detail as like I said I’m still not very comfortable with it, but the long story short is they very prominently had to do with the idea of reality/unreality, which is something that did stick with me and became a very big trigger for more severe psychotic episodes within the next year or so following that. I never realized it was anything “different” than how other people thought at the time because 1)  I didn’t talk to anyone about it anyways because of how innately personal it felt, and 2) I was convinced I was special in a way other people weren’t, so why would I tell them and make them feel bad about themselves? These became more severe when I left for college though and fueled a lot of the bad decision making I did at the time when it came to taking care of my body and the things I would put it through. My favorite story to tell people is about the one time I walked all the way from the state house downtown to Cayce in nearly freezing weather wearing shorts and a crop top just because I was absolutely thoroughly convinced I was not vulnerable to the elements (for those of you not in the Columbia, SC area: this was like an hour walk, and yes I made it perfectly fine) just because it’s one I can laugh about and find pretty funny in retrospect. The reality of it is I was barely eating (maybe one thing that could be considered a small “meal” a week a lot of the time) because of the convictions I held about what my body could go through, I became a (poly)addict because I thought it would give me more insight into my delusions, and in general I did a lot of extremely impulsive and dangerous things that thankfully did not end up causing long-term harm. I still live every day with the same beliefs, but they’re more of a background noise a lot of the time unless something in particular triggers it to blow back up. I haven’t had a really severe psychotic episode where they got to the point they affected how I function in a year now which is a huge relief (the last one was right around this time last year though).
On a less personal note, this topic brings me to something that’s been grating on me more and more over the past few months. Please, for the love of fucking god, can we stop using “delusional” as an insult. Collectively we’re at the point where most people who’re respectful towards those with mental illnesses have stopped using terms like “psycho” to describe people, and some have opted away from “crazy” too (which I appreciate), but “delusional” is one I still see CONSTANTLY from people who otherwise seem to be big advocates for awareness and respect, including non-psychotics who have mental illnesses themselves. Psychotic disorders are some of the most heavily stigmatized, and this does absolutely nothing beyond reinforce the idea that delusions are something to be shamed and othered for; it’s the reason I feel afraid to talk about mine too. The stigma surrounding them feels heavier than the other positive symptoms of psychosis for me, including hallucinations. At least with those, people have some kind of understanding of them (whether it’s exactly accurate or not…) and are more likely to display concern rather than disgust. Delusions don’t get the same sympathy. Delusions mean “there’s something seriously wrong with you, you need help, you must be crazy to believe something like that!” and it seriously pisses me off so much. Do you think we don’t know there’s something different about us? Believe it or not, many of us are self-aware and realize that these things are delusions. That does not, however, make them any less real to us and you trying to convince us otherwise does infinitely more harm than good.
Delusional people deserve respect, and it’s something we often aren’t given. Delusional has become synonymous in most people’s minds with irrational behavior, when it’s a term many with psychosis feel wary to even use to describe their experiences out of extreme fear for how we’ll be perceived by those we love and trust, let alone the general public.
Respect people with delusions, whether they’re delusions of persecution, of grandeur, somatic, or anything else, and using “delusional” as a pejorative for people you think are being irrational. I promise, there will always be a much better way to describe someone without using a word that demonizes a serious symptom of psychosis, and, given that the rates for schizophrenia alone are 1 in 100 people (I say this because there are quite a few other mental illnesses that can cause psychosis/specifically delusions) they likely affect someone you know and care about.
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Depression Treatment in Perth
Did you know that depression is one of the most common mental illnesses in Australia? It distorts your thinking, gives you suicidal thoughts and can be experienced as anxiety 65% of the time. If you think that you are showing signs and symptoms of depression, get a proper diagnosis now!
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 For depression treatment in Perth, choose Energetics Institute!
We have an expert team with a good grasp on why depression is manifesting in your mind and body and can effectively provide therapeutic treatment that will help overcome depression. To learn more about the therapy that is suited for you, call 0414897024!
First things first, what is depression? Why do people get depressed?
 Depression is a mood disorder that is mainly characterized by the feeling of sadness, a low mood and loss of interest. It could last from a few days up to a lifetime and can become a serious condition if untreated. However, depression can be treated with medication and therapy.
 Here is a fact. Depression is not about the occasional mood fluctuations people experience in their everyday lives. Those sets of emotional responses do not constitute depression. Nevertheless, get a proper diagnosis to find out about your condition and for early treatment.
People get depressed for many reasons from genetics down to biological reasons, psychological and environmental factors. There are also various factors in the environment that should be looked into to fully understand how and why depression occurs in the human body.
 Such a complex condition!
 To help you understand some of the basics of such a condition, here are some of the common types of depression:
 ●     Unipolar and Bipolar Depression
 People with unipolar depression or major depressive shows a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest to outside stimuli while bipolar depression is characterized as the combination of depression and mania.
●     Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features
 Also called psychotic depression. Psychotic depression makes sufferers experience hallucinations and delusions which are far from reality. A traumatic experience or history with depression are said to trigger psychotic depression.
 ●     Major Depressive Disorder with Seasonal Patterns
 Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is categorized as depression with seasonal patterns features which happens on a specific time of the year such as winter. People receive less sunlight during winter which makes the body and mind to suffer due to difficulty in adjusting. However, this can be treated through light therapy.
 ●     Postpartum Depression
 Postpartum Depression is often experienced by new mothers which happen due to hormonal imbalance after giving birth. Stress can be the reason why new mothers are suffering from such a condition. Yet, according to studies, adoptive parents may also suffer from postpartum depression.
 Moreover, there are various related factors for depression. Some are known and unknown. To expand your knowledge further, these are some of the depression signs and symptoms that you should be on the lookout for:
 ●     Irritability and sadness
●     Loss of interest in daily activities
●     Social interaction withdrawal
●     Self-loathing
●     Loss of appetite
●     Constant fatigue
●     Abnormal sleep patterns
●     Suicidal thoughts
 If you are experiencing some of the signs and symptoms of depression, get help now! Early diagnosis is better as it will give a higher possibility of effective treatment.
 If you need advice, depression assessment or depression treatment in Perth, Energetics Institute is a phone call away!
 What treatment is best for depression?
 Medication and therapy are the top treatments for depression. It is also important to remember that the treatment will not commence or be effective unless you have decided that you want to get a cure. Medication and therapy will not work if you are not up for it. It is strongly advised to submit yourself wholly to treatment to achieve the best result.
 You can start by engaging yourself to a healthy lifestyle; being more active in the community and discovering other ways on how you can heal yourself naturally.
 Here in the Energetics Institute, we conduct various therapy treatments such as psychotherapy and counseling to help you overcome depression and other mental conditions. We have created an arena for people with depression and other similar conditions to safely express their suppressed emotions to help them feel better and come to realize that they can be cured.
 It is no secret that depression is a mental distortion. Energetics Institute offers Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to correct those mental distortions in the brain; talk therapy for emotional awareness; and Body Psychotherapy Depression Treatment for muscle stimulation. The combination of the following is known to be effective in depression treatment. It also helps sufferers understand the nature and aspects of depression.
 We have a long list of clients who believe that CBT, talk therapy and body psychotherapy has helped them recuperate from depression. We have taught them useful breathing strategies to train the mind to focus better as well as the body. What we have noticed most is that depression sufferers tend to have unexpressed anger which is bound to hurt the emotional well-being. Anger is a killer! Stay away from it. With us, you will be taught how to control anger; let it out in a safer way and recover from the emotional stress it causes.  
 Look:
 Depression is a very complex condition. You can be treated. (if you submit yourself to treatment as early as possible). You do not choose depression. It is not your fault. Do not punish yourself too much.  
 When you’re ready to talk. We are here!
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