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kaorisun · 1 year

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𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 immortality is an abundant curse (3)

pairing : blade x reader

tags : hurt no comfort, angst, canon divergence

word count : 4.88k

chapters : one • two • three

crossposted to : AO3

Summary : “Everything changed the day Imbibitor Lunae committed a grave sin in the eyes of the Xianzhou. Upon Ren, he bestowed the most abundant curse known to man.

“Immortality.”

The full story.

Yanqing wears his heart on his sleeve.

Given this fact, you truly should’ve figured that Jing Yuan would know exactly who had taken his diary upon discovering it missing.

However, this thought doesn’t cross your mind, so when Jing Yuan arrives at the clinic that night to search for his young apprentice, you’re terribly startled.

Yanqing, who’d been carefully showing you the fruits of his training inside the clinic, drops his sword with a clatter, gasping upon seeing the General appear at the door.

“It wasn’t me!” he yelps indignantly. Jing Yuan gives the boy an amused look.

“Oh? I haven’t even mentioned what I’m here for. How did you know I’d accuse you?” the General questions. Yanqing deflates, having exposed himself and his guilt without the man having to do so much as lift a finger. You reach out towards Yanqing, wanting to defend the boy from any potential ire or anger.

All things considered, he’d done it for your sake. You wouldn’t let him take the blame for such a kindhearted action.

Bailu beats you to it first. Grabbing the journal from her desk, she tosses it to the General. The man catches it with one hand before looking at her curiously.

“Take it. I already read through all of it. I have a good memory. I’ll tell them the stories myself, whether you agree with it or not,” Bailu insists, turning away in annoyance. Unexpectedly, instead of disagreement or disdain, Jing Yuan chuckles and shakes his head.

“I think you’re mistaken. I didn’t come here to scold anyone or take this back. Actually, I commend Yanqing for taking a stand against me and remaining firm in his belief that you had the right to know,” Jing Yuan says with a small smile. Yanqing lets out a relieved sigh before picking up his sword, migrating to the edge of your bed to seat himself.

You tilt your head in confusion. “Why aren’t you upset?”

Jing Yuan suddenly looks sheepish, reaching back to rub his neck. “Actually, I went to the Divination Commission to inquire about this situation. Needless to say, the Master Diviner did not agree with how I handled everything.”

You hum softly, the thought bringing you some comfort. “Did she use the Matrix of Prescience to arrive at that answer?” you ask.

“Actually….” Jing Yuan trails off as he averts his gaze. Bailu pipes up with an amused huff.

“Fu Xuan scolded you, didn’t she?” she interrogates. The General sighs softly before confirming the healer’s suspicions with a small nod.

“Well, what she said, and I quote, ‘despite having the title Divine Foresight, you spend no time thinking about the consequences of your decisions. I don't even need a third eye to see why that’s wrong. Your apprentice has more of a head than you do,’ or something along those lines,” Jing Yuan recounts with a guilty expression.

“I’m glad someone got it through that thick skull of yours, General. The memories are a precious thing to the Vidyadhara race. I can hardly believe you hid so much myself,” Bailu chastises, crossing her arms.

“I know, I know. I realize my mistake,” he starts, walking over to you and sitting beside Yanqing on the edge of the bed. “I'm glad my nosy apprentice told you everything. I thought I was protecting you by keeping everything a secret, but I only caused you more stress in the end.”

You offer a gentle smile. “I went along with it without a fuss because I trusted you. It hurt, but I figured you wouldn’t hide things without reason.”

“And even knowing that I’ve been shielding you from something painful, you still want the truth?” the man asks, the worry clear in his expression. You meet his gaze and nod.

“Yes. Learning the truth is allowing me to feel more and more complete. Even if it’s upsetting, I need to know,” you insist. Jing Yuan chuckles.

“Even without your memories, you’re just as headstrong as you were back then,” he muses. “In that case, I’ll take responsibility, and I’ll be the one to deliver the truth to you.”

“At a later date,” Bailu interjects before Jing Yuan can flip open his diary to the relevant pages. “Save any new stories for tomorrow. I don’t want to strain them further.”

“Strain..?” the General mumbles. You quickly pipe in to clarify.

“Ren… I remembered my first meeting with him. I remembered loving him. But… everything else is still foggy,” you explain.

“But that was enough to make you faint! Lady Bailu is right. We should wait,” Yanqing adds. Jing Yuan looks at you and ruffles your hair affectionately.

“In that case, tomorrow. After our duties, I’ll sit down with you and tell you more. Every single day that Bailu allows it, I’ll tell you something new,” he promises. You feel your heart warm, a weight lifted off your chest.

“I’ll hold you to it. I’m sure Yanqing will, as well. Every day…” you murmur, a small grin making its way onto your face at the thought of finally securing a way to retrieve all of what you’d lost.

Soon, you’ll have all of the pieces of your past life. Once you do, you’ll finally know everything that transpired that led you to where you are now.

As excited as you are, you can’t help but feel a sense of dread.

There’s bound to be many joyous tales from your past, but the story of heartache and loss looms over you. It reminds you that, as happy as things may be, you have to prepare yourself to accept the pain and suffering of your previous life.

You can only hope that it’s something you’ll be able to handle when the time comes.

Dusk turns to dawn, and the sun rises on a new day.

True to his word, Jing Yuan begins visiting you in the evenings at the clinic to tell you new anecdotes from your past. Filling your head with stories that feel familiar— nostalgic, he tells tales each night until your head aches, a sign that you’ve taken in enough for the day.

The General helps you recall your first meeting with him— introduced as mutual friends of Imbibitor Lunae. You slowly remember the way you would watch the two spar, happy to clean up any wounds that came as a result.

Beyond that, Jing Yuan even shares how he’d been the one to push Lunae to introduce Ren to you, having always thought that you’d be a good influence on the man. Lunae agreed, and the General had considered it a personal victory.

However, he speaks of the way you fought alongside him in battle. This fact has you curious, having always assumed you were nothing but a healer.

Jing Yuan clarifies that you were a healer, and you once took up a sword to fight against the Denizens of Abundance precisely because of that reason. Each battle he recounts has your hands ghosting over areas where you swear you feel a slight pin prick of pain.

The General mentions that each place you touch is a place where your skin had once scarred over with wounds from each fight. It makes you smile— it seems the body truly never forgets.

Days continue to pass, and with time, your mind becomes less and less fractured. With each new tale, you grow more and more sure of who you are now and who you once were. Skills you once forgot become second nature once more. Memories return to you sometimes with the assistance of Jing Yuan and Bailu. Others enter your mind naturally, a byproduct of the newfound exposure to your past life.

Bailu notes your increased skill and confidence in healing, recognizing the way you improve as you remember the techniques of your profession. Your heart fills with warmth. You start to feel like yourself again— no longer a wanderer with nothing but shards of the past to their name.

Yet, as elated as you are to make such progress, it’s bittersweet.

You know they’re still deliberately avoiding how it all ended— how your Ren became Blade, the nature of your relationship, anything to do with him. Given that they’ve yet to broach the topic, all of those memories remain locked behind a wall. Unlike other moments, you’re unable to recollect it on your own— likely too heavy a topic to be triggered without help.

A frown appears on your face. You haven’t felt more sound of yourself in ages. Are you still unprepared? Is everyone coddling you once more?

How tragic a topic is the reality of your disappearance to cause them to hold off for this long?

Either way, it fills you with uncertainty and unease. You resolve to ask about it that evening, but it seems you don’t have to, for fate aligns itself at the perfect time.

As the sun begins to fall beneath the horizon, Jing Yuan, Yanqing, and Bailu all approach you, seating you on the bed as they surround you. Their expressions are all terse— hesitant.

You’re about to ask about what’s occurred— unsettled by the tension, but Jing Yuan is the first to speak up, interrupting any thoughts you have.

“You’ve made significant progress with your memory recovery. Bailu has deemed you mentally sound enough to learn of the truth. I’ll tell you everything. Who he was in regards to you, what happened to him… and how it all ended,” the General explains. Your heart flutters in nervousness and anticipation alike.

“Everything…?” you echo. Bailu nods.

“You’ve retained everything else well. I can’t promise that this won’t cause some sort of physical reaction. Much like the first time, it’s likely you’ll experience some pain, but… if we’re right, this should be the last time,” the healer promises with a determined gaze. You smile, feeling comfort in the resolve of those around you.

“Alright. I trust you,” you say. Bailu nods to Jing Yuan, who seats himself beside you as he begins to recount his experience from his memories.

He starts. “There’s one thing I’m certain about. The way you could never tell how Ren felt towards you seems to have stuck. You were the same back then, but I knew— everyone knew that Ren loved you more than anything in this world.”

“For a while, you didn’t realize just how hard Ren had fallen for you. It was incredibly obvious to the rest of us, though. Perhaps… it was because you were always looking away. When he regarded you with nothing but pure adoration, you were inevitably turned in the other direction.”

Ren lets out an affectionate sigh as he looks at you, head propped on his hand as he watches you stare down at your work table in pure concentration. The soft grind of pestle against mortar resounds through the building. Jing Yuan chuckles softly, looking at Ren with a smirk.

“Do you plan on saying anything to them? Or are you determined to long in secrecy for the rest of your life?” he questions, teases slipping off his tongue. Ren narrows his eyes at the man.

“Watch yourself, General,” he retorts. Jing Yuan lets the empty threat slide off him with ease, refusing to back down.

“All you do is sigh and stare in every moment you spend in their presence. Why are you so hesitant?” he asks. Ren glances away towards the herbs and medicines lining the walls— all fruits of your labor.

“They’re dedicated to their craft. They wouldn’t have the time for such frivolity,” he laments. Jing Yuan hums and gives a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Nonsense. They have plenty of time to spare. I often hear them complaining that they have too much time to Lunae,” Jing Yuan counters. Ren tenses, his lips pressing into a thin line.

“I doubt they feel the same affection for me as I do for them,” he mumbles. The General has to hold back from barking out a laugh.

“Please! That’s absolutely absurd. All I hear from you are excuses,” he insists. Before Ren has a chance to retaliate, another voice speaks up.

“The General is right about this, as boastful as he’s acting currently,” Imbibitor Lunae adds in, seating himself at the table with the two. “Both of you have a limited amount of time, Ren. It’d be unwise to waste it wondering if they feel the same.”

“Exactly. Besides, if you hold back on making a move, maybe I will,” Jing Yuan jests with a smirk. Ren shoots up in his seat.

“You will not!” he seethes before rolling his eyes, practically stomping off to retreat to your side. Jing Yuan watches in amusement.

“Do you think he’ll say anything or just sulk as per usual?” he asks. The dragon beside him hums.

“Have more faith in him. You pushed him right where he needed to be pushed. Just observe for now,” Lunae says, and Jing Yuan does so.

“I guess Ren really was at his wits end at that point, and Lunae was able to pick up on it. We watched, and you leapt into his arms after he professed his love. All of us knew it was a matter of time before you ended up together, but seeing it… it was a weight lifted for all of us.

“You two were finally happy.

“For a while after that, things were calm and comforting. Ren came to terms with his short life since you’d be there to spend it with him. I’d never seen anything make him happier than the day you became his, and he, yours.

“Truthfully, I think, that day, he found something worth living for in his relationship with you. Of course, he had the rest of us, but we were all long-life species. In you, he came to understand why life was so precious— why he had to treasure his existence, no matter the length of it.

“Alas, he was still… reckless, but just in the normal, stubborn, and headfast way that he always was. You were always there to scold him for it, but we all could tell it was different. Ren was fighting for his beliefs— no longer careless about his life. He was, in lack of better terms, himself.

“As I’m sure you’re aware by now, such tranquility couldn’t last forever.

“Everything changed the day Imbibitor Lunae committed a grave sin in the eyes of the Xianzhou. Upon Ren, he bestowed the most abundant curse known to man.

“Immortality.

“It was supposed to be another battle, but the two of them had been taking far longer than usual. Both of us were worried— aware that something was amiss, but afraid to speak it aloud lest we manifest it into reality…”

Jing Yuan watches you pace nervously outside of the hall. From where he leans against the wall, he can see the frenzied fear in your eyes as you look out in the distance every few minutes, hoping to see Lunae and Ren in the horizon.

The General is equally as concerned, but he knows that he must remain grounded to keep you sane.

“Imbibitor Lunae and Ren are both capable warriors. I’m sure that they’re fine. They’re probably just falling behind,” Jing Yuan reasons. You shake your head in disagreement.

“It’s been weeks. That’s not normal. The last time it took this long, someone—” you cut yourself off, flinching. The man’s expression becomes grim. He knows you’re right— that your worry is not unwarranted.

Neither of you wanted to be “too late” again.

Walking up beside you, Jing Yuan nudges you gently.

“Let’s head out. We’ll find them ourselves,” the General assures. You offer a wry smile and nod, but before either of you can make a move, another voice interjects.

“No need. We’ve returned,” Lunae says as he approaches with Ren by his side. Jing Yuan can see your excitement, but then watches as you freeze, expression falling as you look at Ren. The General notices what you do, too.

It isn’t uncommon to return from prolonged battles covered in blood, tattered with memories of the ongoing war. However, Ren seems far too pristine to have just returned from a battlefield. He’s glowing in a way that seems… unnatural.

Your eyes shift to Imbibitor Lunae, and suddenly your eyes are cold— distant.

“I think you caught something in his mannerisms that I couldn’t. You saw something that I couldn’t see, quickly catching on that something was inherently wrong— that they were hiding something.”

“What happened?” you ask, a seriousness in your tone that felt incredibly off-putting, given that you were referring to your lover and close friend. Instead of a response, Ren reaches towards you, pulling you into a tight embrace as if his life depended on it.

You pause, carefully wrapping your arms around Ren, running fingers through his hair as you repeat your earlier question.

“What happened?” you inquire, almost pleading now. Ren stills in your arms, silently burying his face in your neck. You frown, looking to Lunae once more for answers. Jing Yuan doesn’t move from his spot, either, trying to make sense of what it is you’re picking up on.

Eventually, beneath your persistent gaze, Lunae cracks.

“Ren nearly died on the battlefield,” he admits. You tighten your grip on your lover, eyes wide with a shock that Jing Yuan mirrors.

“He looks perfectly fine… he’s walking on his own two feet, and there isn’t a trace of blood on him…” you note in disbelief. Imbibitor Lunae looks away, seeming guilty in the way his eyes fall.

“I know. That’s because I…” Imbibitor Lunae goes quiet, unable to bring himself to finish his thought. Jing Yuan narrows his eyes, arms crossing over his chest as he looks at the other.

“You what?” the General interrogates. However, the dragon doesn’t spare him a glance, instead looking to you with something that makes your eyes fill with fury. Before he can raise questions, you’re quick to clarify.

“You made him immortal? Why would you do such a grievous thing?!” you snap, forcefully separating yourself from your lover. Ren reaches for you desperately, but you take a step back. Jing Yuan easily recognizes the look of betrayal on your face.

“I can explain—” Ren starts, but you cut him off harshly.

“What is there to explain here?! I’ve treated the Mara-Struck— victims of the Sanctus Medicus, and you want to explain? I’m a healer and even I’m aware that immortality isn’t a remedy of any sort! It’s a venom! A curse!” you yell, eyes brimming with tears. Jing Yuan remains mute, unable to understand why anyone would resort to such a taboo method for any reason, especially given all that they’d witnessed together.

“Please, calm yourself and allow us to talk this o—” Before Lunae can finish his thought, you interrupt.

“Calm myself? Imbibitor Lunae, have you forgotten that I’m dying? In a few decades, I’ll be gone! Ren no longer has the mercy of dying by my side! He’ll have to witness everything!” you cry out, voice cracking as tears slip down your cheeks.

“He’ll endure so much suffering, and he’ll never be able to die…” you whisper, finally gathering enough strength to meet Ren’s gaze. “You promised.”

Ren is quick to scoop you into his arms, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“I also promised to return to you. We’re both here now. That must count for something. Without immortality, I wouldn’t have returned to greet you again— to hold you again. And immortality doesn’t change a thing. I still plan to remain by your side for eternity,” he promises softly. You look up at him, an unfathomable sadness in your eyes.

Briefly, Jing Yuan catches you glancing at Lunae. There’s a wordless exchange in the expression you share with the Vidyadhara. The General has no idea what it is that you both say, but it’s enough because soon you’re releasing a defeated sigh.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Ren,” you say softly. Ren smiles, leaning down to kiss you gently. You reciprocate for a moment before pulling away, allowing yourself to enjoy the warmth of his presence.

Despite everything, Jing Yuan can tell that it isn’t something you’d ever move on from.

“You never brought up Ren’s immortality of your own accord ever again after that day. If it came up in conversation, you always excused yourself to be alone for a while.

“There was a time that I confronted you about it, though. I knew it was forbidden, but I needed to know what was going through your head. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever forget what you said to me that day.”

“Why wouldn’t I be upset, Jing Yuan?” you start, head in hands as you shut your eyes tight.

“There will come a time where Ren suffers unimaginable pain, and I won’t be there to help him. There will come a day where myself, Imbibitor Lunae, and even you aren’t there to support him through his suffering,” you explain. The General pauses, not having thought that far into the future.

You continue in his silence. “My death is just the start. I don’t think Ren understands how much of a tragedy that is. Soon, we will all leave him, and he’ll come to understand that death is far more merciful than being the last person left alive of all those you’ve grown to love.”

You frown and walk off, your words weighing heavily in Jing Yuan’s heart.

“I grew to understand exactly how right you were in your assumption as the years passed. When you faded away and crumbled— I witnessed firsthand how cruel his affliction was.

“Ren knew he couldn’t live without seeing you once more, I don’t think he ever thought about the inevitable day where he’d have to learn to live without you entirely.

“The day you disappeared… I could tell everything weighed heavily on your mind. In the face of your inevitable demise, you still worried for Ren.”

Jing Yuan lets out a soft sigh, watching Lunae and Ren leave for their duties. Glancing back to you on the bed, he tilts his head.

“You looked like you had more to say back then. Something else on your mind?” he asks as he seats himself on the edge of your bed. You look at him, a serious look in your eyes.

“I promise that, one day, I will find my way back to you all. One day, I’ll return, so Ren won’t have to suffer on his own,” you swear. Jing Yuan offers a sympathetic smile.

“Unless you’re a Vidyadhara, reincarnation is just a legend,” he mentions. You don’t respond, instead humming in acknowledgement to the General’s statement.

“Of course, I didn’t know you were one back then, but what I did know is that you were incredibly firm in your desire. Either way, I’d brushed it off.

“I left the room to make your medicine, but you had disappeared when I returned. Only then did I realize… that promise was your last wish— your final resolve.”

Jing Yuan continues his explanation, telling you the results of your disappearance.

Ren was never the same. He spent countless hours looking for you— searching for a body, but you’d vanished completely, much like the Mara-Struck who faded into nothingness. From that day forth, Ren’s mind fractured and he grew resentful of his curse.

As you predicted, the rest of your group slowly began to die out, your lover forced to suffer through each and every one knowing he’d never be granted the same reprieve.

Then came time for Imbibitor Lunae to pass and reincarnate.

“After Lunae died, Ren disappeared entirely, his mind shattered beyond repair— a shell of who he once was. Losing his bosom friend was the final straw.

“I tried to search for him, but he’d vanished from the Xianzhou Alliance entirely. I figured he didn’t want to be found, so I was forced to move on lest I suffered the same fate:

“Lost in our past without direction or will to live.”

Jing Yuan sighs as he finishes the story, shaking his head. “I thought it all a distant memory, then I saw you again on the Luofu as Bailu’s assistant. You looked the same way you did back then.”

“At first, I thought you just looked similar, but then I saw the horns and tail and I knew— you’d found your way back as promised, and you were a Vidyadhara. I’m sure I acted strange when we first met, but I was trying to confirm that it was really you,” he admits.

The memory of that day rushes to the forefront of your mind. The Arbitor-General had followed you and Bailu back to the clinic. His eyes were trained on your tail, watching the way it swayed as you worked before his gaze settled on your horns.

Jing Yuan had carefully observed you as you made medicine at Bailu’s work table, humming a tune that you’d heard from earlier in the day. It startled you how attentive he was being, but now it made sense.

“I confirmed it through your mannerisms and habits. I saw the way you carefully healed others. Then, you expressed familiarity towards me and that sealed it. Unfortunately, I knew you were without your memories.

“I had been keeping tabs on Blade since he appeared on the IPC’s most wanted list, and I vowed to protect you from him. If he saw you and you didn’t remember him, I had a feeling it wouldn’t go well,” Jing Yuan says, frowning.

“I thought protecting you meant guarding you from the truth so you never had to learn of the tragedy that became of your past lover, but I know now that you have to make this choice yourself. By deliberately concealing this, I’ve already hurt you enough,” he finishes softly, resting a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You remain silent and still, staring blankly ahead. From the corner of your eye, Bailu frowns.

“Are you alright?” she asks, preparing for any sort of pain that might occur as a result of everything.

Instead, tears begin to slip down your cheeks, dripping down onto your hands as you grip your robes tightly in your lap. Smiling sadly, you blink rapidly in an attempt to clear your vision of the glistening drops.

Jing Yuan is the first to react, cupping your face in his hands and wiping away your tears gently as you sniffle softly.

“What’s the matter?” the General questions, concern etched into his features. You shake your head, words caught in your throat.

Everything in your mind is clicking into place, pieces falling and fitting together.

Ah, of course. I promised this so long ago, your mind echoes. I said that I’d return— that I’d remember— so I could make it back to you and protect you from the curse you fell into.

Your shoulders shake as you begin to sob. The General pulls you into a tight embrace, Yanqing leaning against your side in an attempt to provide comfort as well.

You usually never remember any last reincarnations as a Vidyadhara. Memory is a spectrum for your kind, and you always ebbed on the side of starting with an entirely clean slate. It’s why you were so certain you’d die when you left to be born again.

You wouldn’t take any memories of your past with you, and you wouldn’t recall them.

Except, this time you did.

Dying and rebirthing with such a strong resolve meant that, since you awoke in this new life, you’ve always felt that something was missing.

Now, you know what it is.

But it’s too late, isn’t it?

You bury your face in Jing Yuan’s shoulder as you cry, mourning the past you lost, and the lover you abandoned in this world.

If Blade’s mind fractured so long ago, do you even hold a place in his memories anymore?

Is there anything you could do in your current state to help him?

Or was all of this remembrance for naught?

For this, you had no answer.

Hidden away somewhere in the Luofu, a woman observes a man from afar.

Kafka recognizes the distant expression Blade wears as he stares out at the scenery and passing Starskriffs. It’s vulnerable— longing— one that he only wears when he thinks no one is watching.

However, her attention is diverted elsewhere when her phone vibrates with an incoming text. Glancing down at the device, she smirks as she reads the message.

Kafka. Plans have changed. Blade’s initial wish will be granted.

The woman raises a brow in amusement, typing and replying to his message with a teasing response.

Even we aren’t capable of necromancy, Elio.

Instead of commenting on her witty remarks, he merely sends back a simple text which serves as enough of an explanation for Kafka.

The Vidyadhara has remembered themself, thus returning to who they once were.

Await new instructions.

The woman looks back up at Blade, smirking as she pockets her phone.

What new side of him will she be able to witness? What sort of expression will he have when Elio surprises him with this?

Kafka can’t wait to see how this story plays out.

tag rqs : @ceylestia - @thetwinkims - @astralsity - @kaminari-no-ritsusha - @jotaro-souped

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veren-cos · 27 days

Text

Astarion x Reader (Bg3)

Gn reader with chronic pain

This one is pretty recent but lmk if I made any mistakes! Not proof read.

Astarion sauntered into the room after a successful night of hunting. He was hyper aware of everything from his latest feed, so the minute you made a move he noticed you were off.

And off you were, you looked like a wreck. You were in the same spot on the bed as when he left — hours ago. "Darling, are you alright?" There was concern in his voice.

You took the blanket and threw it over your face. Astarion's expression crinkled. He sat down next to where you lay, "My love, what's wrong?" He went to run his fingers through your hair but you pushed an arm out to nudge him away. He took a short pause, "I can't know what's wrong unless you speak to me."

You let out a groan, "I don't want to talk about it." There was a something in your voice that Astarion couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Then I won't make you, but please don't push me away."

You were a sucker for contact- holding hands, hugs, light kisses. Anything and everything he'd allow. He tried reaching his hand out again, and you let him.

"I'm sorry" it was barely above a whisper.

He hesitated a bit but his hand kept a steady pace on your head. "Whatever for? You haven't done anything wrong." He laughed a bit, "unless you were causing mischief without me today."

"I'm sorry you have to put up with me." You tighten your grip on the blanket covering your face, avoiding his. You just knew that he was going to look at you with pity. Pity? Anger maybe. Something serious, and you didn't want to deal with that. You felt bad enough, everything ached... Nothing was going right today.

"Put up with you?" Astarion was baffled, "Darling I look at you as pure perfection. You are who I desire to be with, the one who I will spend the rest of my days. How could I ever 'put up with you'?" He even does the quotes with his hands for dramatic flair, not that you could quite see it. "It is you in which my love knows no bounds. Nothing could keep me away from you, as long as you'll have me. I dont get why you cant just care for yourself a little more? You are certainly deserving of it."

This wasn't the response you thought you'd get at all. Your body shook, wanting to cry from the seering pain and his sentiment. "I am not deserving of this. Of any of your affection. I care for you. You are so. Perfect. And I am far from that. I hurt. Constantly. I know you know this, and that you don't mind. But I don't want this for you. You deserve someone who doesn't just curl up in bed all day the second something hurts a bit more than normal. You deserve someone who will... be there! I can't be there. Not all the time. I'm barely here for myself! I just sit here, ignoring everything my body is telling me because I refuse to get help! I refuse to get help from anyone. But i especially refuse to get help from you. Astarion, I can't handle the guilt."

You sit up, much regretting that choice, but doing it regardless to make a point. You took a dramatic breath, "Why cant i take care of myself, you ask? Because i dont care about myself! I loath every minute i spend in this body. Every day! And i cant fathom why you care about me."

He takes a moment, staring into your eyes as he contemplates what to respond. "Darling. My love. Is that what this is about?" You turn to look away but he took your face to make you look at him once again. "I know you are in pain. And I am here for you. I need you to know this. I dont care about anything else. I just want to be here for you. I know I can't take it away, believe me if I could, I would. But you need to tell me when this happens. If nothing else I can just whisper in your ear. Sweet little nothings to get you to sleep, hm?"

And that he did. Astarion laid you back down again, joining you under the covers. As much as you wanted to put up a fight, your body gave out on you. He was cold. He always was, but it felt nice against your skin. He pulled you into a loose hug, carefully avoiding places you flinched at. You reciprocated the gesture, wrapping your arms around his waist. He was working basically as a elven ice-pack, and you adjusted his hands to wherever the pain was. "Thank you."

"..."

"I'll try. I'll talk to you more." When you were done, he placed a kiss on your forehead as he nuzzled in.

"There is nothing to thank. It's what I'm here for. I love you." He let out an icy breath.

"I love you too."

He smiled, "Now go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning. I promise. And we will lay right here until you do, I won't let you go."

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #bg3 x tav #bg3 tav #bg3 #bg3 x reader #chronic pain

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zer0pm · 1 year

Text

Imagine Luis working another late night in the lab. Missing him dearly, you decide to surprise him.

Shout out to @fortune-fool02 for not only the idea but being an inspiration to the Luis Serra/RE fandom~

“Lo siento, mi amor. I won’t be able to join you tonight for dinner… again.”

A knowing frown forms on your face. It was a good thing that Luis couldn’t see you over the phone, it wouldn’t do to make him feel even more guilty than he already does with just your expression. All the more reason for you to pick up the pace in your stride.

“Saddler’s really making you work, huh?” you tried to alleviate the evident guilt in his voice by subtly reminding him why his work is so important.

Luis takes the bait with a tired sigh, “Any weaknesses I can uncover studying these… parasites- is another step towards a cure.”

You pointedly add, “And that cure can save a lot of lives.”

He pauses, considering his next words carefully. “¿Estás enfadada conmigo?” he gently asks.

A small chuckle bubbles softly inside you at how innocent and wary he sounded, like a child ready with an apology if he were to be duly scolded.

As reassuring as you can muster, you answer, “No, babe. I’m not mad. What you’re doing- it’s very important.”

“You’re very important, my love.” he stresses, “More important to me than anything in the world.” The way he says things like this without a single stutter always makes your heart quicken.

The two of you have had this discussion many times. Since his recruitment, Luis has been buried in work researching the plaga that has been infecting the locals. He wanted to do some real good with his knowledge and skills, starting with the people from the village where he was born and raised. It was worse off than either of you could have imagined and Luis spent most of his nights lately in the lab.

He would call you every time to keep you posted of his progress, ask how your day went, and engage in small chatter- always including with him telling you how much he loves you and that he can’t wait to see your face. Then he would report after that he will be home much later than he planned. You wouldn’t see him again until the next morning when you are awake and wrapped snug in his arms.

Luis is always sound asleep by the time and even though he looked peaceful, you’ve seen by the heavy bags under his closed eyes how truly drained he’s been. It is those times that you’d wish that you could stay in bed and simply be with him, be there for him when he rises from his much deserved slumber. However, you have your own job to do and regretfully have to separate from him. Before you leave, you always leave him some breakfast for him to heat up, stuff to make his morning/afternoon coffee, and small sticky notes around the home for him to read once he’s up and about and has to return to the lab. The notes would say stuff like you’re proud of him, he’s going to have a great day, how effortlessly handsome he is, or inspirational quotes from Don Quixote (those are his favorite).

The small gestures and the chats over the phone help the days go by, and awhile you two care for one another deeply, these things can only go so far. You long to have proper quality time with Luis, you long to actually feel his arms the moment he wraps them around you and pulls you tight against him, you long to hear and feel the warmth of his teasing jokes and affectionate praises upon the shell of your ear instead of over the static of a phone. You long to kiss him, to be engulfed by his passion reserved only for you.

“I miss you.” you admit without thinking, it was only the most natural thing to say.

You hear him sigh heavily on the other line. At first, you were worried that you may have dampened his spirits, but the way his breath sounded, he seemed relieved.

“And I you, corazon.” Luis reciprocates, you can imagine his soft smile in his words. “I promise- when I see you, I will make it up to you.”

Looking up to see where you are now, a smile of your own turns up your cheeks in bated excitement. “I’ll hold you to that, handsome. See you soon.”

“Ciao, baby.” You hear him send a kiss followed by an affirmative blip.

After tucking your cell away, you walk down the long hall until you’re in front of a set of double doors. Left completely ajar. You peek inside, medical equipment and specimens filled the tables and shelves, computers beeped away processing code you couldn’t make heads or tails of. All very important and sensitive stuff you’re certain, but what you were really looking for was hunched over a microscope.

Luis tied hair back in a messy bun. You made a mental note to ask him to wear it like that more often as you approached. The man seemed unaware of his surroundings as he didn’t hear you approach him from behind and nearly jumped out of his seat when your arms snaked around his front.

“Surprise!”

At the sound of your voice, Luis relaxed for only a split second before realization hit him and he spins out of his chair to behold you in amazement.

He beams with a wide smile, “¡Mi corazon! What are you doing here?”

You roll your eyes before returning his grin, “Isn’t it obvious? I came to see y-”

You’re cut off by his lips pressing against yours and the pit in your heart was set alight. The feel of his tongue dipping to seek yours made you weak in the knees and you instinctively sling your arms around his neck, releasing his hair from the elastic band to allow your fingers to run through them. It felt amazing to touch him again, to be close to him and want nothing more but to be closer. The familiar warmth in his kiss swells inside in wonderful, passionate flutters. Like everything he’s felt for you these past lonely nights but could not express from a distance finally poured over into this fervent promise of affection.

It was only when you two needed air did you finally pull away, but you didn’t go far, Luis kept you close in his arms. “Did I come at a bad time?” you asked, there was a bit of coyness, but genuinely you wanted to be sure you were not impeding on his time. You just wanted to see him, even if it was for a little bit.

The Spaniard shakes his head. “Nada. Not at all. I was just thinking that I needed a break. And an opportunity presented themselves to me in the best possible way.” His hands roam along the small of your back before squeezing your hips affectionately. A small, pleased sigh escapes you and Luis merely smiles at your responses, his grey eyes appraising you with deep adoration.

He leans over to whisper low into your ear, “Te extrañé tanto.”

Taking his cheek into your head, you meet his gaze, “I’ve missed you too.” It was your turn to lean now as you began peppering his strong, stubbled jaw with nips and kisses, you can feel the hum of a groan catch in his throat when your lips tease a particularly sensitive pulse. It took everything in you to pull away from him and his embrace and you swear you can almost hear him moan softly in protest of losing your warmth.

You stare at him with a sly smile, “Didn’t you say that you’d make it up to me the next time you see me?”

Luis lifts his brow in amusement before sharing in your playful banter with a grin of his own. “Of course, how could I ever forget such a thing?” He steps away from you, pulling a set of keys from his white lab coat as he moves towards the double doors. “Just give me a moment to lock up the lab.”

You cross your arms, anticipation scratching inside like a match ready to light. “Thought you’re still working.”

“Mi amor,” a lopsided grin appears on his lips as he spoke, making eye contact with you as he closes the steel doors. “I didn’t say that we were leaving.”

The doors lock with a definitive click, giving the both of you the privacy for Luis to indulge in his much needed breaktime to the absolute fullest.

#luis serra #luis serra navarro #resident evil 4 #luis serra imagine #luis serra x reader #re4 luis #re4 remake #resident evil imagines #my writing #gender neutral reader #zer0pm imagine #imagine request #something sweet and fluffy #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil x reader

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ananxiousgenz · 12 days

Text

okay now that I've had a night to sleep on it I just wanna take a minute and go absolutely buckwild over john doe in part 26 bc like. I was expecting the "I will not let you drown" line. I've seen the fanarts of it floating around, I knew that was coming. what actually fucking killed me was the second I realized john was reciting a robert frost poem to calm arthur down. and not just any robert frost poem, one that has been quoted over and over again, usually by arthur. that made me start SOBBING bc like.

this inhuman entity, who around 4-5 months prior, wanted arthur and the rest of humanity dead just because he had power and could kill them. learned so much from this broken mess of a man. learned about stories and poetry and music and mysteries and compassion and love and fell in love with all of it so deeply that it permanently changed who he is and how he sees humans and the world they live in. changed him so much that when he saw his friend crumbling under the weight of his own grief and guilt, chose to not only comfort him, but chose to comfort him with a poem. a fucking poem. when john has been so deeply invested in the stories and poems he's heard from arthur. he heard one that he liked enough to memorize and to keep close to his heart. and he chose to give it back again when his friend needed it most. to reach a hand out to arthur with a thing he loved and tell him he's heard. he's not alone. but he needs to keep going. most human action imaginable. do you think arthur ever recited that poem to john? to keep him calm when he got scared and lashed out? and that's how john learned it? and it brought him enough peace and comfort that he figured it would help arthur too??

literally the only equivalent I can come up with for this moment is something I saw once a long time ago. so my mom was sick. like really sick. normally she's a power-through-a-cold kind of person and she was laid out on the couch, so she wasn't doing great. and our dog, who was a lot younger then, knew something was wrong, and clearly wanted to make her feel better but didn't know how. so, she got her favorite toy, and gently shoved it into my mom's mouth. a kind of "I don't know how to make you feel better, so here's something I love and I hope it helps." it was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. and it wasn't that the bone itself helped, it was the act of giving it that made everyone feel a little bit better. and that is what happened here. it's not the thing that john gave, even though it is significant, it's the fact that he chose to give it.

nobody talk to me for the next 5 business days, I'm going absolutely insane

#the LOVE in my HEART for this character.....#everyone else move out of the way john doe is my new favorite character #I'm sorry for the long post but the more I think about this moment the more crazy I feel #like it's just #he's so human!!!#he's so.....he's so.....#snkfekksmdjed #malevolent #malevolent pod #john doe malevolent #an eldritch being and his wet cat #I'm genuinely sorry about the length of this rant #sometimes characters Do A Thing #and then my inner english major emerges and goes #“QUICKLY. WE MUST ANALYZE. WE MUST UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE DONE THIS (AND MAKE IT WORSE).”

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calliesmemes · 3 months

Text

A HOME FOR THE HEART

ASSORTED QUOTES PULLED FROM TUMBLR POSTS, PINTEREST POSTS, AND SONGS.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“ Half of seeming clever is learning when to keep your mouth shut. ”

“ I don’t understand … what exactly are you doing? ”

“ Fun isn’t something I’m particularly familiar with. ”

“ I will be gentle with your heart — I promise. ”

“ You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known. ”

“ If we beat ourselves up after a mistake, we add shame onto the guilt and frustration that we already feel about our mistake. ”

“ Your pain is safe with me and I will stay with you longer than your sorrows if you let me. ”

“ I am broken, and full of contradictions. ”

“ We cannot afford avoiding the fight for growth and understanding, even when that fight is as painful as it’s bound to be. ”

“ At the moment, I am quite busy tearing down who I once was. ”

“ You have to challenge yourself, and keep learning new things. ”

“ I implore you — it’s time to come back from the dark. ”

“ You’re dangerous, but you lack ambition. ”

“ I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. I even fooled myself. ”

“ You will miss so much by being guarded. ”

“ What is destructive is impatience, haste, expecting too much too fast. ”

“ I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. ”

“ By all means break the rules, and break them beautifully and deliberately and well. ”

“ We can't do whatever we want. There are ways we have to act. There are things we have to say. But we can think whatever we want. ”

“ I think I love nearly everyone I have ever met. ”

“ It is the destiny of stars to collapse. ”

“ I belong to you. ”

“ What I was before wasn’t good for me. ”

“ Leave me to my own absurdity. ”

“ I have such trust in you, my heart. My dear, dear heart. ”

“ I’m restless and harsh and despairing. ”

“ You can be better than this. ”

“ I am not arrogant; I simply know my place. It’s quite far above yours. ”

“ Should I regret what I became, or should I regret what I didn’t become? ”

“ You are too nostalgic; you want memory to secure you, console you. ”

“ I am afraid to experience what I don’t understand — I always want the guarantee of at least thinking that I understand. ”

“ My heart is too good to be silent. ”

“ The quiet of the night is astonishingly beautiful. ”

“ When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t. ”

“ I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then. ”

“ It’s frightening that there’s no guarantee you’ll be loved. ”

“ I think too deeply about everything. I still don’t know if that allows me to see more of the world, or less of it. ”

“ The truth is messy. It's raw and uncomfortable. You can't blame people for preferring lies. ”

“ See, forgiveness doesn't happen all at once. It's not an event―it's a process. ”

“ You must walk alone to find your soul. ”

“ I like flaws. I think they make things interesting. ”

“ People can easily forget that others are human. ”

“ By one act, I have ruined everything. ”

“ My bloodline is irrelevant to my value. ”

“ Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something that they need to forgive. ”

“ Who are you to judge me? ”

“ Poets — they can be soldiers, too. ”

“ I’m afraid to let go. ”

“ People can’t feel truly loved if they don’t feel seen for who they truly are. ”

“ Grief always grows back. ”

“ Maybe lying is itself a kind of art. ”

“ What thing worthy of love can be found in me? ”

“ I don't know anything anymore. Is that normal? Is it normal for someone to just go blank? ”

“ This was always going to happen. ”

“ I found with you a life force that I thought I’d lost. ”

“ I fear I will be ripped open and found unsightly. ”

“ We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever. ”

“ If a poem hasn’t ripped apart your soul, you haven’t experienced poetry. ”

“ My life has changed, and I’m changing with it. ”

“ Things are sweeter when they’re lost. ”

“ How foolish we are to believe that we are more powerful than the sea or the sky. ”

“ Grief is really just love. It’s all the love that you want to give, but cannot. ”

“ They think that I’m purely decorative, and they’re fools for not knowing better. ”

“ Isolation is a way to know ourselves. ”

“ How many people am I? Who am I? ”

“ I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone. ”

“ Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving. ”

“ I love you, but I cannot survive you. ”

“ Shame keeps us stuck. It’s a paralyzing emotion. ”

“ I am, at present, wrestling with my own private angels. ”

“ You’re looking for this wonderful thing that you may never get. ”

“ If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life. ”

“ Come on; dance with me. ”

“ If it’s darkness we’re having, let it be extravagant. ”

“ You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down and do nothing. ”

“ What would you ask for, if you knew that the answer would be yes? ”

“ Love is also a violence, and it cannot be undone. ”

“ Some things are more precious because they don’t last long. ”

“ You are afraid to die, and you are afraid to live. ”

“ I do understand — and it is terrible. ”

“ How do you become so empty? Who takes everything out of you? ”

“ I can’t abandon the person that I used to be. ”

“ Strength is what I want. Strength not to endure, I have that and it has made me weak — but strength to act. ”

“ I want everything back the way it was. But there is no point, this wanting. ”

“ My guilt will not purify me. ”

“ I guess I thought that by now, I’d be done with shame. ”

“ My father and I are more alike than I’d care to admit. ”

“ I am not asking. I’m begging — please. ”

“ It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. ”

“ You people do not understand me, and I am afraid that you never will. ”

“ Endure what you deserve. ”

“ I pity the dark life that you live. ”

“ Don’t be the sort of person who needs to be held. ”

“ I am beginning to despair and can only see two choices: go mad, or go holy. ”

“ We are enemies linked together. ”

“ What lived and died between us haunts me still. ”

“ Betrayal already points to love. You can’t betray an acquaintance. ”

“ The dead only return for love or for revenge. Which did you come back for? ”

“ Every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered. ”

“ How can I ask anyone to love me, when all I can do is beg to be left alone? ”

“ If I didn’t think, I’d be much happier. ”

“ We are nothing more or less than what we choose to reveal. ”

“ How dangerous to finally have something worth losing. ”

“ Peace was never an option. ”

“ I will not water myself down to make my suffering more digestible for you! ”

“ Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. ”

“ Beyond a certain point, there is no return. ”

“ Anger is hard to ignore. ”

“ It is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. ”

“ Broken girls blossom into warriors. ”

“ I don’t know if I believe in rage as something always acting in opposition to tenderness. I believe, more often, in the two as braided together. ”

“ But it was too much. All of it was too much. ”

“ Time just gets away from us. ”

“ I’d rather live with a tender heart, because that is the key to feeling the beat of all the other hearts. ”

“ I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me. ”

“ The core of me is untouched. ”

“ I must have been very hard for him to love. ”

“ I understand now that I'm not a mess, but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. ”

“ Why couldn't people's insides match their outsides? The world would be such a wonderful place if the nicer someone was, the more beautiful they became. ”

#askbox meme #askbox prompt #rp ask meme #ask box #roleplay sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay sentence starters #* sentence meme #rpc help

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crowsource · 5 months

Text

🐦‍⬛ 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒 —quotes taken from the first novel in rebecca ross' letters of enchantment duology. some edits have been made to allow for rp purposes. feel free to adjust for pronouns/names/etc.

❝ It takes courage to let down your armor, to welcome people to see you as you are. ❞

❝ I can’t risk having people behold me as I truly am. ❞

❝ You will miss so much by being so guarded. ❞

❝ I don't think you realize how strong you are. ❞

❝ Sometimes strength isn't swords and steel and fire, as we are so often made to believe. Sometimes it's found in quiet, gentle places. ❞

❝ I hope you will find your place, wherever you are. ❞

❝ I think we all wear armor. I think those who don’t are fools, risking the pain of being wounded by the sharp edges of the world, over and over again. ❞

❝ I am coming to love him, in two different ways. Face to face, and word to word. ❞

❝ I am destined to always be at war within myself. ❞

❝ Your grief will never fully fade; it will always be with you--a shadow you carry in your soul--but it will become fainter as your life becomes brighter. ❞

❝ You are not alone. ❞

❝ I never told you that I love you. And I regret that, most of all. ❞

❝ That’s it. You’re doing great, ____. ❞

❝ I think there is a magical link between you and me. A bond that not even distance can break. ❞

❝ It’s not a crime to feel joy, even when things seem hopeless. ❞

❝ ____, look at me. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I intend to see that you have it. ❞

❝ I don’t want to wake up when I’m seventy-four only to realize I haven’t lived. ❞

❝ I’m not going anywhere, unless you tell me to leave, and even then, we might need to negotiate. ❞

❝ I realize that people are just people, and they carry their own set of fears, dreams, desires, pains, and mistakes. ❞

❝ I can’t expect someone else to make me feel complete; I must find it on my own. ❞

❝ I pray that my days will be long at your side. ❞

❝ Let me fill and satisfy every longing in your soul. May your hand be in mine, by sun and by night. ❞

❝ Let our breaths twine and our blood become one, until our bones return to dust. Even then, may I find your soul still sworn to mine. ❞

❝ I’m not afraid to be alone, but I’m tired of being the one left behind. ❞

❝ I broke my engagement, quit my job, and traveled six hundred kilometers into war-torn land to be with you. ❞

❝ And yet I keep moving forward. On some days, I’m afraid, but most days, I simply want to achieve those things I dream of. ❞

❝ Let us make our names exactly what we want them to be. ❞

❝ How do you make your life your own and not feel guilt over it? ❞

❝ I am so afraid. And yet how I long to be vulnerable and brave when it comes to my own heart. ❞

❝ I grew something living in a season of death. ❞

❝ I don’t think you can even begin to understand what your words mean to me. ❞

❝ I want your hand to be in mine, no matter what comes. ❞

❝ You’re distracting me, ____. ❞

❝ Endings were often found in beginnings. ❞

❝ By law, we’re both legal adults who can drink and be formally charged for murder. ❞

❝ Be safe. Be well. I’ll write soon. ❞

#crowsource #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompt #rp prompts #sentence starters #rp sentence starters #roleplay prompt #rp starters #roleplay memes

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roses-r-rosie3 · 10 months

Note

miguel x Alchemax reader

reader used miguel and ended up giving him drugs to destabilize him because they were loyal to Alchemax. in the society after a long time dating they finally admit they used him

it goes into miguel’s pov focus on lyrics

Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now

How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

Just what you wanted

Look at you, cool guy, you got it

I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes

Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise

I loved you truly

You gotta laugh at the stupidity

[Chorus]

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should've known it was strange

You only come out at night

I used to think I was smart

But you made me look so naive

The way you sold me for parts

sorry if i it’s to much

Vampire

Miguel O’Hara x M!Reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, drugging, divorce

Quote: “NO! It never would have benefited both of us! It would have only benefited YOU! Not US! YOU!”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You and Miguel were dating back when he was still working for Alchemex. You two would always flirt with each other while you were there, and all the flirting eventually lead up to the two of you dating. But the whole thing with a subject dying and stone drugging him, Miguel quit Alchemex.

You however, you were about to quit too after you heard about what happened. But stone was aware of this and he had a plan that could benefit him. He knew about your relationship with Miguel so he called you to his office and offered you a raise if you continued to drug Miguel. You were reluctant at first, but the more you thought about it, the more you started to think about the benefits, and you accepted it. So You lied and told Miguel that you quit Alchemex.

The first time you had to drug Miguel was while he was asleep, after doing it, you immediately felt bad, but you decided to make it up to him by taking him to the mall and buying him whatever he wanted.

“Y/n where did you get all this money from? Didn’t you just quit?” Miguel jokingly asked.

“I found a job that had a high salary, now are you gonna be nosy or are you gonna continue shopping” you fake laughed.

Miguel was a bit suspicious but quickly forgot about it after the two of you were done shopping. The time came and you had to drug Miguel again, and you once again did it while he was asleep. And little did you know 2 times turned into 3 and three turned into a 10 whole years.

You and Miguel’s relationship still remained untouched though, you two still had the same love for each other as when you first met. Miguel even proposed to you, to which you happily accepted, and the two of you got married. However, Miguel was getting noticeably more weak, and you were getting more and more guilty about doing this to him.

You finally had enough. You couldn’t just keep hurting Miguel and act like nothing is wrong. You knew Miguel probably wouldn’t want to be with you, but he deserved to know the truth.

“Hey Miguel can we talk?” You asked.

“Of course baby” Miguel said as he scooted over for you to lay next to him in your shared bed.

You sat on the edge of the bed with your back facing towards him.

“Okay what’s wrong? Is something bothering you?” Miguel asked in concern.

You just broke down in tears, letting out all the guilt that has been building up for the past 10 years.

“Hey, hey, baby just tell me what’s wrong” Miguel said as he hugged you.

“No Miguel, I don’t deserve you” you sobbed.

“Of course you do-”

“No Miguel, I don’t! I’m still working for Alchemex! Stone offered me a raise if I drugged you! And I’ve been doing it for the past 10 years while you were asleep! I can’t do it anymore!” You cried.

“You- you what?” Miguel said, his voice got darker.

“I’m so sorry Miguel, it would have benefited both of us” you tried to plead.

Miguel backed away from you and got off of the bed.

“NO! It never would have benefited both of us! It would have only benefited YOU! Not US! YOU!” Miguel yelled.

“Miguel please-”

“So what?!? You think a simple little apology is going to fix the 10 years of damage you’ve done to me!” Miguel screamed at you.

“I never meant for any of this to happen Miguel, I’m sorry” you croaked.

“So you didn’t mean to take the money?! You didn’t mean drug me?! You didn’t mean to use me?! You used me as a pawn in your little game! You’re pathetic y/n!” Miguel roared.

“I really did love you Miguel, I really wanted to build a family with you” you said weakly.

“Well guess what y/n?! You ruined that family! You ruined our relationship! So what if we did end up adopting a kid?! Would you have still drug me while both me and our kid were asleep?!” Miguel yelled.

“I really thought I could trust you y/n! I really thought you and me would be forever!” Miguel yelled.

“I’m sorry Miguel” you said.

“Stop saying sorry y/n! You weren’t ever sorry for the past 10 years!” Miguel screamed.

It went radio silent for a good 3 minutes after Miguel said that.

“I’m leaving” Miguel said before storming out of your shared house.

You were left there with the consequences of your own actions. You cried yourself to sleep that day. When you woke up, you reached over to Miguel's side of the bed, hoping to feel Miguel's warm body next to you, but instead, you got the feeling of cold sheets.

Before you knew it one day of Miguel being gone turned into one week. At that point, you were feeling hopeless. Until you heard your door bell ring. You rushed to the door to see who it was. When you opened the door, you saw Miguel, but he was holding a paper in his hands.

Miguel shoved the paper into your hands and you looked at it. When you looked at it, and you read through it. It felt like you were hit by a train when you finally realized it was divorce papers, and Miguel already signed his name. You looked up at Miguel with tears starting build up in your eyes once again.

"You really want this?" You trembled.

"Yes y/n, we're over" Miguel said calmly.

It hurt you that Miguel was so calm about it, after all the memories you two built together. But it was only fair because of what you did to him, so you signed the papers and handed it back to Miguel.

"Goodbye Miguel" you sighed as Miguel walked away from your once beloved house of memories.

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lorcandidlucienwill · 6 months

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Book quotes that keep me up at night

Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless— NOOOOOOOO WHEN WILL MY BABY BE HAPPYYY So Lorcan did. You dare fade to black on a 500 yo Fae warrior??? Excuse me???? What did he do???

Autumn court males have fire in their blood and f*ck like it too. WE WANT A DEMONSTRATION SARAH. The royal line shall end with you, Prince. Between this and Sjm saying we should be scared for Ruhn… I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. Tell my Vassa I’m waiting. DOES THIS MEAN ELUCIEN’S BOOK IS NEXT?! THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW! The hind kneeled before her undying masters and contemplated how it would feel to tear out their throats. I CAN’T WAIT FOR JANUARY 2024.

#lorcan salvaterre #elorcan #lucien vanserra #eris vanserra #ruhn danaan #the hind #lidia cervos #elucien #acotar #crescent city #throne of glass

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url0calcrvckhead · 3 months

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Incorrect Quotes feat. people I think are really cool!!

I did get their permission to put them in this so don't worry!!

@dia-smthidk @moshieee @hootbon @sm-baby @rabid-mercenary15

Also none of this is meant to be accurate, this is just what I think from what I've seen

𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖𖤓˖⁺‧₊☽𓅨☾₊‧⁺˖��

Dia: If there’s one thing I learned from Rabid, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.