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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

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you’re the one that i want (part 17)

word count: 6k

angst

(part 16) (series masterlist)

tag list: @chogiout ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @joongiebug ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ; @joeycheungg ; @lostscenarios ; @atinyxtopia ; @sanisms ; @kpopnightingale ; @simpforhyunjin ; @89staytinyzen21 ; @lokicaramel ; @ttalgimin ; @sakura-uji ; @songsoomin ; @toffee-hwa ; @deobitiful ; @hyunjeansuniverse ; @clown-teez ; @i-know-you-know-lee-know ; @tiny-whatsername ; @fairieofeternity ; @yixing-jaehyun ; @sleepyseonghwa ; @revehosh ;

time went on but the pain never went away. it dulled, for sure, with san incessantly telling you that you deserved better and the piles of work that were being assigned to you.

but you were also doing everything in your absolute power to ignore seonghwa.

you never lingered before or after homeroom and made sure to never even look in his direction. you drowned out the sound of his voice in class or entire presence when you passed him the hallway. you and san even started to break the school rules and went out for lunch so neither of you had to be reminded of that table.

the one time seonghwa dared come to the cafe, san forced you into the back room and gave his ex friend a piece of his mind. you thought for sure you were gonna have to run out and separate the boys but seonghwa just looked completely...empty and defeated.

it seemed as if he took san’s words to heart, the blonde speaking them so lowly and harshly you still don’t exactly know what he said to this day. you just know that when you and seonghwa’s eyes met through the small glass window, he looked as sad and broken as you felt inside - but for very different reasons.

he was upset with himself while you were upset with the both of you. at him for acting the way he did and denying you once again but also at yourself for letting it go on for so long. you should’ve been stronger and made it known he was hurting you from day one, not just avoid him for the sake of saving yourself more pain and suffering.

you’ve switched between feeling sad, angry and vengeful so much during these weeks that you don’t even know how you feel anymore; you just know you’re hurting and know it’s because of him.

“okay but you can’t not go because of him,” san whines. you were both sitting at the cafe during your wednesday night shift, the shitty, rainy weather outside keeping you free of any customers.

“san,” you whine back, looking at your friend in annoyance; he’d been harassing you for days to go to his friend’s party on friday, a group of boys from another school he’s been friends with since 5th grade.

“look, i was honest and told you he’d probably be there to warn you,” he tells you honestly, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “but if you’re gonna make me go through it by myself, that’ll be really mean.”

you roll your eyes at the pout on his lips, feeling yourself frown when he adds, “because you know, i’m avoiding one of them too.”

you both know it’s a low blow and san has to resist the urge to smirk knowing he did just play a little dirty. but it doesn’t lessen his actual anxiety over it, knowing he’s gonna be around alcohol in a party atmosphere where stupid decisions are almost always made.

“that’s not fair,” you say with a pout, kicking against the counter with a groan.

“c’monnn, love, i’m gonna need you there.”

you let out a sigh, looking at the boy with a pained expression; it would be the perfect time for you to get out and party though, you think, given the fact that your parents told you just this morning they’d be going away for the weekend.

things at home had been surprisingly...civil, only a few fights and slaps here and there that do little to break your spirit. because it’s already pretty crumbled, eating quickly with them before rushing into your room to do homework.

you never thought you’d say it but schoolwork and projects and essays were actually saving you these days, distracting your mind from just how badly your heart was hurting.

and what better way to further distract yourself than by getting drunk for the first time?

“for the first time?” san yelps when you tell him you’ve never drank before.

“kind of, yeah,” you tell him with an amused smile, the utter shock on his face all too endearing. “i...got tipsy over the summer,” you say quickly, grazing over the memory before you tell san you’d only had one drink.

“oh, that won’t do,” san says with a shake of the head.

you watch with a raised eyebrow and a cup of tea to your lips as the blonde prances over to the cabinets, looking inside before smirking at the extra box of jello he knew was laying around back here.

“we’ll start you off with jello shots and then move you up to the real stuff. get ready for friday, biiiitch.”

you let out a snort and warm tea spews from your mouth, dripping down to your chin and onto the floor as you let out a choking fit of laughter. san yells that he just mopped the floor and insists that you’re doing it this time, your eyes only rolling at him.

“i’m about to choke and die and you’re worried about the floor.”

“you can’t choke and die, we have to go to this party first.”

the jello shots had gone down easily, your personal favorites being the strawberry and raspberry. but now, the straight vodka sitting in one of san’s many shot glasses is proving to be a challenge.

“i think i’m drunk so i don’t need to do-”

“cheers!” san yelps, taking your glass from the table and forcing it into your hand. you let out a sigh as you watch the boy down his 4th one with ease, looking at him with concerned laced in your eyes.

“san, if you’re gonna puke tonight, i’m gonna be really-”

“i’m not gonna puke,” he whines, “we ate so much before this and i’ll drink water. but you have to start little lady. we only have an hour!”

“okay i will but i’m just warning you that i’m gonna hate every moment of this and-”

he rolls his eyes before pushing the shot glass toward you, snorting when you take down the vodka with a sneer and gag. but by the third, the burn gets almost manageable and you and san mentally prepare one another for what’s about to come.

you tell him to not take wooyoung’s shit, that if the boy even dares to signal for him to go outside so they could be alone, he points his middle finger at him and goes off to dance and have fun.

he tells you that if seonghwa tries to corner you and suck another hickie onto your neck, (the blonde had been so irritated at that, the possessiveness and boldness in the action making his blood boil) you knee him between the legs and kiss the closest person next to you. even if it’s him.

you laugh at that very unlikely circumstance as you stumble out of his house and into the uber, both of you determined not to let those two handsome but horribly cruel boys get to you.

you try to keep the slurring of your words quiet so the driver isn’t alarmed by the drunk underaged kids in his car, whispering back and forth about what songs you’re gonna sneak onto the aux.

you thank the man as he pulls up to the house, big and beautiful with a wrap around porch and a few kids littered outside. and then even in a drunken daze, you feel your stomach knot with nervousness. the unfamiliar crowd, the loud booming music coming from the house, the thought of seeing seonghwa in this state, now all too daunting.

but san notices your discomfort immediately and grabs your hand, saying hi to a few people in passing as he leads you into the house. he tells you to stay close and to not let go of him, your eyes widening at the amount of people in this house; what kind of high school party is like this?

“oi felix!”

a boy with blonde wavy hair turns around and smiles at san, walking over and fist bumping him; you bit your lip to hide your smile, secretly wondering who’s hands were smaller (it’s me, the author, i am wondering). felix notices you standing beside san, your intertwined hands catching his eye before his face lights up.

“who is this? is she your-”

“friend,” san clarifies, pulling you into him affectionately. “but she is very much single if anyone is interested.”

“san,” you whine as you disconnect your hands and hit his arm, felix laughing quietly before he holds out his. you take his hand with a small smile, mumbling your name before three boys barrel right into him.

“san!” they all scream in unison, excited cheers as they run toward the boy and grab him in a hug. you giggle as you wait off to the side in fear of getting trampled, felix looking at you apologetically.

“sorry,” he says, his voice so deep and full it makes your eyes widen. and maybe it’s because you have alcohol coursing through you that you show your surprise, looking around like you’re scared someone’s gonna watch you before leaning in.

“your voice...is very deep.”

a loud chuckle leaves his mouth as he nods his head, talking more and leaving you in amazement.

you don’t even hear san and the other boys conversing behind you, you and felix talking about the blonde-haired boy. you tell him that you work at his parents cafe and also see him in school every day, giggling sweetly when felix’s face turns into a grimace as he commends your ability to deal with the loud, whiney boy five days a week.

the very same boy who, little to your knowledge, is trying to set you up. but it’s not his fault, he rationalizes in his head, the idea just fell into his lap really.

“hey, who’d you come with?” hyunjin asks san, the two blondes turning when they hear your giggle pierce the air.

the taller boy can’t help but smile softly at the sound, thinking it’s the cutest thing he’s heard since he got here; he wasn’t even gonna come tonight, always put off by the gross group of people and loud, terrible music.

“that’s y/n, my new friend,” san says, smiling when he sees hyunjin’s intrigued gaze.

he’s known the boy for years, one of his first friends from middle school who proved time and time again how sweet he was. everyone had always been intimidated by his good looks and tall figure but he was just as a soft-spoken as he was kind; he’d be the perfect distraction for you tonight.

it’s why he drags hyunjin over to you, planting the boy in front of you and your head snaps away from felix. “i was just telling him how you always-” a pair of dark, unfamiliar eyes looking at you cause the words to stop, your breath catching in your throat at the man in your presence.

his blonde hair hangs in his face, a black headband over his forehead just a few inches above the prettiest pair of light brown eyes. he’s taller than san and felix and it only adds on to how much your sad little heart flutters, your usual sober nervousness replaced with a drunken fascination.

“oh. hi.”

and then when his lips quirk up into a smile, your heart nearly threatens to pound out of your chest.

“hey. i’m hyunjin.”

you sat with the boy for most of the night, your legs grazing as you stayed on the couch and gave him playful slaps to the arm when you drunkenly giggled into him. you quickly discovered he was just as funny as he was kind and handsome and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you had a little bit of a crush on him.

that the happy, fluttering feeling in your chest was something you hadn’t felt in a while, your shy smiles back and forth only making you more giggly. or it could also be the sips you took from san’s spiked seltzer that might have something to do with it.

because one second you and hyunjin were debating whether goldendoodles or chihuahuas made better pets and then the next, you were both charging over to san for the final decision. but he yelped excitedly, having not seen you both all night because you were so lost in each other, and threw his arms around you.

“don’t look now, love, but asshole one and two just got here.”

you pull back and look at san with wide eyes, the blonde only nodding his head with a calming look in his eye. he had thought you guys had gotten lucky and the four boys weren’t gonna show up but leave it them to waltz in a few minutes before midnight, their eyes searching the crowd before a brown pair of narrowed eyes caught his attention.

san avoided the boy’s gaze to look at seonghwa, watching his eyes roam over the crowd before landing on you. his handsome face immediately drops, his jaw tightening and eyes narrowing as he watched you and hyunjin laugh together.

the tall blonde’s hand was resting on your hip, this thumb running over the exposed skin between your jeans and shirt as you two laugh with hyunjin’s friends.

to seonghwa, it looked as if he was trying to make a move on you. that he was slowly enticing you until his hand traveled lower and lower and just the thought of it causes anger to rip through him. like an anger he’s never felt before.

because he would do that to comfort you.

to calm your nerves and ground you if you were feeling upset and anxious, like you typically did around crowds or unfamiliar groups of people. but you looked awfully cozy next to the boy in the loud, chaotic environment, smiling up at the boy so prettily it makes him growl lowly in his chest.

“what the fuck was that?” mingi asked the boy, his eyes following seonghwa’s dark gaze before his face morphed into one of surprise.

“ohhh shit.”

“shit,” you said under your breath, hyunjin hearing the frustration in your voice and looking down at you curiously.

but you and san don’t look away from one another, trying so hard to remember what you said earlier. that you’re gonna ignore them and pretend they’re not even here, that you both deserve better and should move on to bigger and better things.

that if, given the opportunity, maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to distract yourself with other people. and what better way than in the arms of a long haired blonde boy with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen?

“what’s wrong?” you hear his voice mumble in your ear, turning around and sucking in a breath when you realize you’re a lot closer than you thought. his eyes look over you with a soft concern, watching your drunken hazy eyes look back at him.

“no-nothing, someone’s just here who i...don’t wanna see,” you settle on saying, not needing hyunjin to know all of your baggage and nonsense drama.

he looks at the new group of boys who just entered, recognizing them immediately and waving; he’s mostly friendly with yeosang but has seen the other three before, the dirty blonde boy eyeing him with such distaste he can only assume that’s who you’re having a problem with.

but if you don’t wanna see him, then he’s gonna make sure you don’t.

so he smiles down at you, his finger tapping you on the nose playfully and smiling when you giggle quietly. he’s happy to see a smile back on your face, the lingering anxiousness in your eyes making his stomach sink.

“then i can promise he won’t be anywhere near you.”

the words send warmth through your body, your heart fluttering and cheeks turning pink as you bite your lip to hide your smile, hyunjin’s hand reaching down to interlace your fingers. you don’t miss the way the blonde’s face warms a little bit too in the dark room, turning your body and resting your head on his shoulder lazily as you talk with san and the rest of the boys.

you miss the way yeosang and mingi hold seonghwa back from charging over there, the shorter boy looking at his friend in confusion. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, pulling the boy back by his shirt. “we just got here. you’re not about to start shit.”

“i’m not gonna start anything, i just have to-”

“stop,” wooyoung says firmly, knowing all too well the feeling seonghwa is experiencing right now; but he also knows nothing will come of acting on it. of charging over there and tearing you away from the blonde, of growling out that you’re his and shouldn’t be with other people.

the dirty blonde snaps his head to wooyoung and resists the urge to punch him in the mouth, letting out an annoyed huff before shrugging himself away from yeosang and walking toward the kitchen to grab a drink. a drink that he holds on to for the next thirty minutes of the party, keeping the same cold bottle in his hand so people don’t ask why he’s not drinking.

he hates this shit.

drinking and partying and mingling, passing a poorly rolled joint around like all of this is gonna make him wanna be here when really, it’s the last thing he wants. he can’t believe he’s been sitting here as long as he has, leg bouncing as he watches you smile up and chat with hyunjin as a blush spreads on your cheeks.

there’s a hot burning feeling of anger and rage and possessiveness growing in his chest, something you brought out in him within the first few weeks of meeting. and he knows he deserves to feel this way, that he hurt you and made you feel bad and basically pushed you into another man’s arms.

but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. and that doesn’t mean he won’t stop it because how could he watch that? how could he sit here and watch you with someone else when he wants you to be with h-

“hyunjin,” you giggle drunkenly, feeling his breath tickle the skin of your neck.

you both had been watching san and his friends banter back and forth, the boys loud and talkative and crazy as they relive their middle school memories. about the pranks they pulled on teachers and how much trouble they always got into.

about how san and changbin had gone from absolutely hating each other to becoming the closest in the group; san thought changbin was mean and scary and changbin thought san was annoying and soft - and perhaps you could see what both of them were saying.

because changbin did have a darker look in his eye, easily getting annoyed and shoving his friends around but also blocking their falls when they were about to smack into the wall. it’s nice to see san hanging out with a group of rowdy boys since these past months, he’s only been with you - a emotional, baggage-filled teenage girl.

“what?” he whines lowly, squeezing at your hips again and causing your heart to stutter in your chest.

it feels nice to have someone touch you again, touch you in a way that warms your body and makes you feel liked and desired. you’d gotten so used to it with....him and it’s almost like for the time being, your fragile heart is temporarily healing.

you know the feeling is different and you know you don’t like it as much but at least hyunjin is sweet.

because you also you know tomorrow, or maybe even in a few hours, you’ll go back to normal. sad that you have to ignore the boy you love and mad that he’s making you do it in the first place. confused and irritated at just how much your head was in the clouds this summer.

but for tonight, you don’t care about any of that. you only care about that way this other boy is making you feel, someone who was a stranger when the night started but made you so comfortable so fast. made you happy and giggly and acted as the perfect distraction from the eyes that have been piercing into you all night.

you made sure not to to look anywhere but the corner you and the boys were in, turning in hyunjin’s hold and reaching up to play with his long blonde hair.

“you...shouldn’t ever cut this,” you hiccup, a cute smile crossing the boy’s face at the sound of it.

“you like it?” he mumbles, biting down on his lip at the way your nails graze his scalp.

he’d been on his best behavior all night, shy smiles and innocent touches as he got to know you and saw you come out of your shell bit by bit; it probably helped that he was just as nervous and uncomfortable as you.

but now, with a few drinks in him and the way you’re looking at him, he feels himself losing it. losing the resolve to be good and just wanting feel your lips against his for a second; nothing more, nothing less.

“i like everything about you,” you say teasingly, your hand moving down to twist his necklace around your finger. the metal pulling at his neck causes his adams apple to bob, his eyes falling to your mouth at the exact moment you slip your tongue out to wet your dry lips.

the music is blaring and you think a group of kids are fighting but you can only hear the ringing in your ears and the pounding of your heart, cocking your head to the side when the eyes that have been so soft and sweet turn dark and hungry.

“everything about me?”

and with the way his voice drops and a pretty smirk crosses his mouth, like he knows exactly what’s he’s doing, you twist the chain between your fingers and pull him closer to you.

his large hand moves to your face, the sound of your breathy exhale causing desire to hit him. every reaction you have is so cute and innocent despite the boldness behind them, your lingering eyes and lips pulled into a smirk making him wanna do this all night.

have your hair tangled in his hand, pulling you closer until your lips finally meet and part on one another. your tongues colliding and moans being swallowed as he presses you against the wall. hearing you sigh out his name and make sure you want to see him and kiss him.

but he doesn’t get the chance.

because just before your lips can meet, he's harshly grabbed by the back of his shirt and shoved across the room. your eyes pop open when you nearly fall forward if not for the hard chest you bump into as seonghwa towers over you; his eyes hot and blazing and face so tense it makes your stomach swoop in nervousness.

"y/n," he growls and you immediately feel your heart start to pound, narrowing your eyes at him.

"what do you want, seonghwa?"

"what the fuck," you hear hyunjin shout, watching as the blonde stomps toward him. seonghwa rolls his eyes upon hearing it, turning around and catching the quick fist flying his way. it shocks hyunjin as much as you but the boy doesn’t show his reaction reacts, sneering at him as he asks what the hell is his problem is.

"has nothing to do with you so back off, hyunjin."

"she said she didn't wanna see you," he retorts, ripping his hand from seonghwa's grasp and pushing at him. he hits the back of the wall and you wince at the loud sound, standing in front of hyunjin as you see the dirty blonde make his way over.

"st-stop," you drunkly whine, pressing yourself back into hyunjin and causing seonghwa to growl out your name lowly.

"no. he's right. i didn't wanna see you."

he bites the inside of your cheek when those words leave your mouth, your heart sinking at the way his face every so slightly drops and eyes twinge with hurt.

"just give me five minutes. i need it."

"and i need you to leave me alone. i've given you almost three months, what's so different now?"

you were with someone else, he thinks, you were with someone else and there's nothing he hates more than seeing his girl with a guy who's not him. he's had to watch it all fucking night and it's killing him, making him so god damn angry and jealous he thinks he's about to explode.

but if you guys kissed, he'd be over. he would've gone over and beat the shit out of the long, blonde haired boy watching you two right now with curious eyes.

"y/n," he growls again.

but you only roll your eyes because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his pride. he saw you with someone else while you haven't looked his way, smiling and giggling and trying to forget him in the arms of someone else.

and it was working, it really was working. your heart feel like something other than the breaking, crumbling mess it's been since the moment you left your aunt's house. since the stupid boy looking at you like you're the one hurting him started this mess in the first place.

"i don't wanna talk to you!" you whine loudly, stomping the few steps toward him and pushing him back with all the force you can muster; but given your size difference and drunken state, he doesn't go far. he only clenches his jaw and wraps his hand around your wrist, dragging you outside despite you telling him to stop manhandling you.

you don't know where san is, thinking those two conspiring assholes made their moves on you at the same time, and you hear hyunjin's friend telling him not to cause problems with them. but you don't wanna be anywhere near him, especially in this vulnerable state.

because you know you're gonna end up crying and you're so fucking sick of crying. so sick of saying the same things to him and then hearing his lousy apologies over and over again. having the memories of your summer play in your mind when he says a certain word or gives you a familiar look.

you're so sick of him and a part of you wishes you never met him. that you just spent your summer quietly inside or at the beach with your aunt so you didn't realize you were capable of being loved by a man like him, even if it was just for a short time and in private.

even if everything might've been a lie. because it's the memories of him that makes this so hard, remembering how the same boy who could look so unbothered about you was the same boy who'd mumble into your skin that he loved you.

the same boy who now dragged you outside, the crisp night air cooling your warm, flushed skin. you cross your arms as you look up at him with your face pinched in anger, tears of frustration already pricking your eyes.

"what is wrong with you!" you yell, your hands balling into fists as you resist the urge to stomp your foot and smack him. his eyes narrow and he steps forward, his large hand taking your face in his hold. his thumb rubs at your hot skin gently, anger coursing through him at himself.

this is his fault. this is all his fault and now you're sad and drunk and ready to cry.

"you're drunk," he states obviously. you roll your eyes at his statement, biting the inside of your cheek so you don't say the vengeful comment that wants to leave you.

but because you are drunk and pissed and not in your right frame of mind, you say it anyway.

"so what," you snap at him. "if you're thinking that's why i was about to make out with hyunjin, then you're absolutely-"

anger flares in his eyes and he tugs you closer to him, tightening his hold on you. everything inside of you is screaming to push him away and yell at him, tell him he doesn't get to do this anymore; that you're not his and you never were.

but you can't find the words in your fuzzy brain, looking up at his dark gaze and feeling a sense of pride in how angry that made him, especially when his words are lowly growled at you.

"you better fuckin' stop, y/n."

"i don't think i will," you say, pressing your body closer to him and moving your finger over his lips. "i think i'll kiss you both and see who does it better." his jaw tightens at the same time his hands on your wrist and hip do, growling another warning "stop it," in your ear.

"why? at least hyunjin was gonna kiss me in front of people.”

your words are powerful and biting but the hurt in them is obvious. hurt that's been building up for months and festering. "he even talked to me all night in front of people. and you just watched from a-far, as usual," you hiccup, "like you didn't even know me."

his eyes soften at your tone and he drops your wrist from his hold, looking down at you carefully in case you're gonna try to flee. but your vengeful look is quickly changing to sadness, seeing him stand in front of you with his gaze softening by the second.

"y/n, baby, i would talk to you but-"

"but nothing," you snap, your eyes shooting to his. "i am so fucking sick of us having this conversation, seonghwa. just admit i wa-wasn't anything to you and we can move on with our lives."

"stop. fucking. saying that," he says, taking your face in his hands and holding it tightly. his warm hands on your skin makes tears prick your head, his chest heaving as he tries to control the emotions ripping through him.

"stop giving me hope," you cry out, "stop making me think you're gonna admit that you love me. that you loved me at all and actually considered giving us a chance."

the more you get worked up, the more you start to hiccup and the tighter he holds you. he hates seeing you like this and it's obvious in the way his stomach is sinking, how he just wants to take you back to his house and mumble apologies against your skin until you give him another chance.

"i do love you."

"w-we knew each other for two months, that's not enough time to love.”

because that’s another thing you started to think. maybe you both were just confused about what you felt, so consumed by teenage lust and fascination that you convinced yourselves it was love; you didn’t think that was the case for you, but maybe for him.

maybe it wasn’t enough time for him to love.

"yes it is," he growls, pushing you back until you hit the brick wall behind you. you swallow nervously at how close he's pressed up against you. he can smell the alcohol on you mixed with the scent of your perfume and he remembers it so vividly.

lingering when you would pass him on the beach, faintly on the case of his pillow after you would sleep in his bed, tickling his nose when you would fall asleep on his shoulder; even when you were sick and smelt like sweat, you had that scent.

"don't fucking tell me it's not enough time when you're the only person i've ever felt like this about," he says lowly, his voice low and deep and so full of certainty, your stupid little heart lifts again. "and i know you feel the same way."

you swallow the lump in your throat and tears are burning your eyes at the way he's so close to you. his hand’s right next to your head and his body is right against yours, finding comfort in the feeling you were so trying so hard to forget.

but because you know seonghwa would never hurt you and welcome his presence despite everything, you don't realize how bad this position looks.

not until an unfamiliar, feminine voice speaks up.

"hey! get the hell away from her!"

"jojo, they might be-"

"she's about to cry, that's definitely fucking not-"

"okay, relax!”

the small girl with long brown hair looks at you with sympathy swarming in your eyes, her friend eyeing seonghwa suspiciously and looking ready to fight him.

"hey, are you okay?"

your lip wobbles at the soft kindness of the girl's voice, the one named jojo looking between you and seonghwa. "ye-yes," you hiccup, shooting the girls a small smile as they narrow their eyes. "i promise, i'm okay. we're just....talking."

"why are you pinning her against the wall?" the girl asks, feisty and eyes blazing; seonghwa can smell the alcohol on her breath but has a feeling she's usually this bold without the liquid courage.

"i'm just talking to her."

“you can’t talk to her without towering over her?”

seonghwa looks at girl with an annoyed look, throwing his hands up innocently before taking a few steps away from you.

the girl looks at you and you nod your head to confirm that it’s okay and you are just talking, eyes shining with gratitude despite the tears in them. the two girls look at you for a few silent moments before nodding their heads.

"we'll be around, if you need help call out."

"thank you but i promise i'm okay," you hiccup, the girl giving the tall boy one last dirty look before walking away.

"you can't just do that shit, jo. you have to be careful."

"oh please, what were his chicken legs really gonna do?"

you wanna laugh at the girls comment but can only feel sadness in your chest, you and seonghwa looking at each other as his hands run through his light hair. your eyes train on the floor and he lets out a long exhale, looking at your dejected, drained figure.

"i was never more honest about my shit than when i was with you this summer, y/n," he finds himself finally saying truthfully.

he was happiest with you, he wished he could be like that all the time and wanted nothing more than that. wished he could believe every day of his life that he was good for you and treat you as such.

you swallow the lump in your throat and the tears are stinging your eyes so badly at the way he's saying this. how his words always sound so true and genuine and make your heart soar.

"but now you're lying," you squeak out shakily, your watery eyes meeting his and making his lips turn into a frown. "you're lying and it's hurting me. i feel like...i feel like i don’t even know what the truth is anymore.”

he swallows the lump in his throat at your words, watching your eyes roam his face before a tear runs down your cheek.

"i wish i never met you," you blurt out honestly, your words breathy and full of sadness. "because you've hurt me so badly and have made me so sad but i still..." you can't say the words that you still love and want him because it's so stupid.

"come here," he says, his voice low and pained but direct as he looks at you. a whimper leaves your mouth as you shake your head at him, trying to back away from him but only pushing yourself further into the wall.

"no," you brokenly whisper, voice small and shaky as you feel all the giddy drunkenness drain from you. now it's like every sad and heartbroken emotion you've felt hits you tenfold, your chest and stomach physically paining you.

"please, baby," he says lowly, his voice making your stomach twist even more.

"we're gonna figure it out but, please baby, for now, i need you with me. i'm here with you. we're both here and we have time left together."

you stay planted against his shirt until your tears stop falling, nodding your head against him and feeling your face flush with embarrassment. you hadn't meant to avoid him all day but you were just so sad when you realized how many days you had left with him. until you were ripped apart and wouldn't see other for god knows how long.

"i know it's hard and i'm not mad at you," he says again when he sees guilt and shame in your eyes. "but i'm here. how many times did i have to say it, pretty girl," he hums lowly, his hand running softly through your hair as his tone is laced with slight amusement.

"you can't call me that," you say, shaking your head as tears continue to blur your vision. "or look at me like that. it's not fair."

his eyebrow quirks up and he takes another step toward you, his heart dropping at the way your face falls even more. you know he's about to reach out and hug you and pull you into his arms and you're gonna crumble. cry into his chest and have him stroke your hair and tell you everything's gonna be okay.

but it's not okay. how he's treated you isn't okay. how he's discrediting everything you guys had isn't okay. and it's not okay that every part of you is gonna be willing to forgive him.

"none of this is fair," you say when he leans closer, voice dripping with anger and sadness as you smack at his chest. "you're hurting me and you could give a shit and i wish i never fucking met you. why did you do this?"

you knock your fists into his chest and he takes every single one as he wraps his arms around you and pulls your body closer.

he shushes your muffled cries against your head, muttering that he's so sorry over and over again. sorry that he knew he wasn't good for you but allowed this to happen anyway and sorry that he can't say he wishes he never met you.

because meeting you was quite easily the best thing that ever happened to him and he thinks it's about time he proves that to you. he holds you until it seems as if every last tear is out of your system, your body slumping into his chest before he hears your breaths even out.

(part 18)

#hyunjin series is in the works #aha just kidding #unless....#seonghwa #seonghwa angst #seonghwa series #ateez #ateez angst #ateez series #seonghwa imagines #ateez imagines #seonghwa scenarios #ateez scenarios

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years

Text

Life’s Lessons - Part 9

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Who to Trust

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned), Female!Reader x OMC – Mark

Other characters: OFC: Ashley (Mark’s sister), OMC: Stephen (Mark’s brother-in-law).

Word Count: 7,144 (notes in bold, texts, thoughts, song lyrics in italics).

Part Summary: Thanksgiving time has Dean wondering whether Y/N is better of without him, as she tries to find the right words to broach the subject of her love life with Mark. However, she soon learns the kind of person he is and seeks comfort from the only person who she can truly trust.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Insecurities, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head, Self hate, Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Y/N’s ex, Fighting, Mark gets slapped, More angst, Tears, Comfort, Fluff, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning)

Music: Jerome by Lizzo (playing on the radio while Y/N is driving home scene), Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper (not featured, but lyrics inserted for emphasis. Listen to it during the scene where Y/N and Dean are watching TV).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been loving this series so far! All your comments and feedback are so appreciated! I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the journey as we move forward! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Y/N stood in front of the whiteboard, filled with the kids’ ideas and thoughts about the latest book they were covering in class, To Kill A Mockingbird. Given that it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and they had a half-day and then Friday with no school, she tried to get as much work done with them as possible. She could see they were all itching to leave as soon as the bell rang, so she was really trying to keep their attention. When she looked down at her watch and saw that there was only about five minutes left, she sighed.

“Alright, guys. Why don’t we stop there,” she said, turning back to the class. “I know I’m about to lose you all to the bell soon, anyway.”

They all giggled as they finished writing notes one by one.

“So, before you go… remember to read the last few chapters before Monday” she said, flicking through the novel. “I want us to fill that board up again, okay?”

There were nods and several “yes, Miss Y/L/N”.

“Good” she smiled. “I hope you guys have great Thanksgivings’ and stuff yourselves with Turkey.”

They all laughed, and she joined them. The bell rang loudly, and the kids all sprung up at the same time.

“One at a time through the door, guys!” she shook her head, amused as she’d told them that so many times.

Once they had all left, Y/N packed up her work and shoved everything into her oversized handbag. She picked up her fawn coat and put it on over black sweater, brown checked skirt and brown knee-high heeled boots. She wrapped her scarf around her neck and picked up her bag, walking out of the room after turning the light off and shutting the door. As she walked down the school halls, her heeled boots echoing on the floors, she heard someone calling out to her.

“Y/N!” Charlie called out as she reached her.

“Hey” Y/N smiled. “Ready for the long weekend?”

Charlie sighed in relief. “So ready. I can’t wait to be at Jody’s tomorrow for dinner!”

“Is she a good cook?” Y/N asked, as they walked into the staff room to collect their boxes from lunch.

“She’s the best!” Charlie exclaimed, smiling. “Oh, damn. I haven’t even asked you what your plans are! If you don’t have any, come to Jody’s. She honestly wouldn’t mind one more.”

Y/N laughed, slightly as they picked up what they needed to in the staff room and then walked out. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m actually going to Mark’s sister’s for Thanksgiving. He asked me last week if I wanted to come with him and I said yes.”

“Oh. Okay” Charlie muttered, frowning.

Y/N knew something was up. “What?”

“It’s just… after everything that happened at your birthday, are you sure this is what you want?” Charlie asked, shrugging. “I don’t want to put doubts in your head-”

“You’re not” Y/N said, turning to her. “Truth is… I kind of already have them.”

She had been on edge since that night after her dinner, where Mark had insulted Dean but then also how their night ended. She knew they needed to talk.

“Have you thought more about what to say to him about… you know?” Charlie asked, her eyes widening at the suggestion.

Y/N sighed. “I have. I just have to be honest with him, tell him that he needs to see someone.”

Charlie nodded as they walked over to their cars. After goodbyes and wishes for Thanksgiving, Y/N headed home. As she drove, she thought her and Mark’s relationship. They had now been together for 6 weeks, and things were going… okay. However, they still hadn’t attempted to have sex again, settling for heavy make-out sessions. She knew they needed to talk about what happened that night at his apartment. She was hoping that after things finished up at his sister’s Thanksgiving dinner, he’d invite her over to his apartment again and they could try to see what they could do about it.

She was still a bit weary after what he had said to Dean, but Mark had been on his best behavior since then, and she hoped that he would never do that again. He could be a little arrogant sometimes, but she called him out on it, and he was good about keeping it in control. That didn’t mean she wasn’t worried he’d say something awful again. If that happened, she knew she had to do the right thing and end it. She was giving him another chance to prove himself, so hopefully he wouldn’t screw it up.

Sam walked out of Dean’s house, carrying three chairs, stacked. He took the porch stairs slowly, as Dean did the same behind him, with his own stack of three chairs. They walked over to Sam’s car, putting them into the backseat, before he shut the door.

“You sure that’s all mom needs?” Dean asked.

Sam nodded, making sure the doors were secure. “Yeah, just the chairs. She’s got everything else under control, as always.”

“I don’t know how she does it” Dean shook his head, smiling. “Oh man, I can’t wait to eat!”

Sam scoffed a laugh, shaking his head at his elder brother. “Yeah, I bet you can’t.”

“Hey, no judging me on Thanksgiving, Sammy.” Dean gave him a pointed look, but he smiled slightly, as this was their brotherly banter once again.

Y/N fluffed her hair as she looked at herself in the mirror. She fixed the beige, red and green plaid scarf around her neck as she turned to check that her light grey sweater was properly tucked into the back of her emerald green pleated skirt. She reached under and made sure her nude thigh-high stockings were properly attached to the suspenders and garter belt. Slipping her feet into her nude high heels, she put on her fawn coat, picked up her bag and quickly left the house. She needed to get to Mark’s, and then he was driving them to his sister’s.

As she walked over to her car, she looked across the street and frowned. Dean was outside, talking to a tall man with shaggy brown hair, framed around his head and neck. She smiled as something occurred to her; Dean had said his brother was tall. That had to be Sam.

Dean’s eyes found Y/N’s house again and he suddenly saw that she was outside, standing next to her car. Their eyes met and he felt his heart hammer against his ribcage. He hadn’t seen her since the night of her birthday. She smiled tentatively, with a little wave.

“That’s her, right?” Sam asked, when he noticed Dean looking at her. He remembered her from that night at the bar.

“Y-Yeah, Y/N” Dean stammered, as he continued to look at her.

Sam looked at his brother, eying him suspiciously. He had seen that look on Dean’s face a few times before, including that night at the bar and he knew immediately what it meant. He would need the specifics now, after he left the bar and couldn’t actually meet this girl.

“Hey” Sam called out to her, quickly walking over.

“Sam, what’re you doing?” Dean hissed, trying to grab his jacket but missing. He quickly followed behind him, Sam’s long legs taking him across the street in just a few steps.

Y/N gulped nervously, as she saw the tall man approach her. “Hi.”

“I’m Dean’s brother, Sam” he said, as he offered his hand.

She took it, smiling immediately. “It’s great to finally meet you. Dean’s told me so much about you.”

Sam smiled back, before looking over at Dean teasingly. Dean glared at him, as he shook his head. “Really? I wish I could say the same.”

Y/N laughed a little awkwardly, as they pulled their hands away. “Anyway, it was good to finally put a face to the name, but I should really go.”

“Oh, of course” Sam said, as he stepped aside.

“I’m guessing you’re going over to Mark’s” Dean broke his silence as he turned to her. His expression was blank as he tried not to show what he was feeling. He knew Sam would ask him about it if he did.

“His sister’s” she specified. “They invited me.”

Dean nodded slowly but didn’t say anything. Sam looked between them, sensing something wasn’t right and quickly changing the mood.

“Well, Happy Thanksgiving, Y/N” he smiled at her.

“You too, Sam” she smiled as she looked at him, before looking back at Dean. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dean.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Y/N” he said as he looked into her eyes.

Y/N looked away from him quickly, as she stepped up to her car and got in. The boys walked away from her yard and back to where they had been, as they watched her pull out of the driveway and drive down the street. Once she was out of the vicinity, Dean pushed Sam.

“Why the hell did you go over to her?” he asked, exasperated with his younger brother.

“I was just introducing myself to the mysterious woman across the street, that you failed to tell me about” Sam replied, as a smirk appeared on his face. “I can see why.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrowed as his jaw clenched. “What?”

Sam laughed. “Man, you’re so smitten, it’s hilarious you can’t see it.”

“You don’t what you’re talking about, Sammy” Dean growled, as he scrubbed his hand down his face and shook his head. He turned around and walked back into the house.

“Come on, Dean, I’m not an idiot” Sam said, following behind Dean. “I saw the looks between you two.”

“Sam” Dean groaned. “I’m not talking about this.”

As Dean looked at him, an almost pleading look to drop the subject, Sam realized what was going on.

“Oh wow” he whispered. “You’re falling in love with her.”

“You’re insane” Dean denied. It felt wrong coming out of his mouth, but he couldn’t acknowledge it. Not when he couldn’t do anything about it.

“No, I’m not” Sam said, clearly. He was quiet for a few moments before he walked closer to Dean. “Look, man. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but something did. Clearly whatever is, it started a while ago, while you were still with Lisa.”

Dean glared at him. “How the fuck do you do that?”

Sam shook his head and ignored the question. “So… what’s going on?”

Dean looked at Sam and sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he had to tell his little brother. After he explained everything, Sam didn’t look angry about any of it, and smiled at Dean.

“If Y/N’s the one you want to be with… then Dean, you have to go for it. You gave Lisa three years, and it didn’t go anywhere. Maybe this is it this time” Sam said, smiling.

“God” Dean groaned, shaking his head. “Way to go all chick-flick on this, Sammy.”

“Dean, just listen to me, please” Sam begged. “That relationship… it was killing you. Y/N seems great-”

“I can’t, Sam” Dean said, cutting him off. “She’s with someone else.”

“Oh” Sam said, frowning.

“Yeah” Dean agreed.

Sam looked over at his brother, knowing that wasn’t the only thing he was thinking about.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, knowingly.

Dean shook his head. Sam really needed to stop being a freaking mind reader. It was better to just say it and deal with it rather than have his brother pester him for the rest of the day.

“I just… she’s amazing” Dean said, leaning back against the back of the couch. “What is she gonna want with me?”

“Dean-” Sam started but Dean cut him off.

“I mean she’s younger than me, by like… 7 years. She’s so fucking smart, she’s absolutely beautiful, and she’s the nicest person I know. She’s been through some shit and she’s still a good person. So… what would she want with me?” Dean scoffed, as everything he was feeling came out.

Sam shook his head, seeing Dean’s self-hating attitude resurfacing. “Dean… you’re the best person I know. You’re hardworking, you care about people. I’m sure she sees that in you, from all the time you’ve spent together. You’ve been there for her, helped her settle into a new life here. Dean, you deserve to finally be happy. If it’s meant to be with Y/N, then it’ll happen. You just have to be patient. You have to stop thinking you don’t deserve happiness, Dean. Hell, you deserve it more than most people.”

Dean looked at Sam and just nodded, not saying anything else.

“So… I’ll see you soon” Sam said, knowing he should leave it there.

Dean was too much in his thoughts to notice that Sam had left. Everything he just said was all true. So then why couldn’t he see that in himself? He decided to get ready to go over to his parents’ and not think about it at that moment. He had a lot to think about, but he just wanted to enjoy Thanksgiving first.

Y/N put a forkful of turkey and yams in her mouth, chewing slowly. She smiled at Mark’s sister, Ashley who sat across from her. Things were a little awkward, giving that she had never met them until now, but at least she and her husband, Stephen were nice people. They were really excited to meet her when she stepped through the door and had been really great hosts that made her feel welcome.

“So, how long have you been teaching, Y/N?” Ashley asked.

Y/N swallowed before answering. “Nearly 3 and a half years. 1 year of substituting and then 2 years in a full-time job, back home, and nearly half a year here. So, still pretty green but I really love it.”

“That’s amazing” Ashley said, smiling.

“Where’s home?” Stephen asked, taking a sip of his wine.

“Rhinebeck, New York” Y/N replied, simply.

“Wow” Stephen laughed. “That’s a big move. Why the change?”

Y/N smiled tentatively, not knowing how to answer the question. She hadn’t told Mark about Ethan yet, and she certainly didn’t want to do it over Thanksgiving dinner at his family’s house.

“I just needed a change” she told him. “Being in one place your whole life… it gets a little boring after a while. Plus, I saw this opportunity and had to take it.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you did” Mark smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

She smiled at him before they went back to eating.

After dinner, Stephen gave Y/N a tour of the house as Mark helped Ashley with the dishes. They washed the big dishes, while they put the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher. As they cleared up, Mark turned to his sister with a smile.

“So… what do you think?” he asked. He wanted her opinion on her Y/N.

“She’s really nice; pretty” Ashley replied, nodding as she washed a platter.

“I feel a ‘but’ coming” Mark said, rolling his eyes.

“But” she started as she looked at him. “I think you need the full story on why she left home.”

“Why?” he asked, confused, as he wiped the platter once she handed it to him.

“Look, I’m sure she’s a great girl. I just think you need to know her reasons for leaving and see whether she’s been genuine or not” she replied, turning the tap off and turning to him.

“Why would she not be?” Mark said, glaring at his sister. He was a little angry that she would insinuate something about Y/N.

“I’m not saying she isn’t; I’m just saying that you need the full story. That’s it. Take it or leave it” she whispered as Y/N and Stephen came back into the room.

“Ashley, I love your house” Y/N smiled, as she gestured around her.

“Thank you” Ashley smiled in return. “Alright, dessert time.”

Meanwhile at the Winchester house, their dinner was far louder with a lot more people. John sat at one end of the table, with Mary at the other. Around the table was Dean next to Mary, Ellen next to him, Jo next to her. On the other side was Sam next to Mary, Eileen next to him, and Bobby next to her who was visiting them in Lawrence from South Dakota until after Christmas.

“So, who’s starting with what they’re thankful for?” Mary asked, smiling as everyone filled up their plates.

Everyone went around the table, saying what they were thankful as they all ate. There were normal answers of thankful for family and thankful for the chance to all be together.

When it was Dean’s turn, he was nervous. He wanted to tell them all something, something he was excited about and he wanted them to know.

“Dean?” Mary said, gesturing for him to speak.

“Um, well… I’m thankful for dad” Dean started, as he glanced over at his father. John looked at Dean, confused, as Dean went on. “I’m thankful that you trusted me with the garage when you left it to me to run because uh… I found a new building lot a few minutes outside of town. We’re expanding and turning that location into a restoration site for classics.”

The whole table erupted in cheers, as everyone congratulated Dean. Mary leaned over and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly. Dean saw John get up from his seat and stood up, as John walked over. He put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, smiling at him.

“I’m so proud of you” he said.

“Thanks dad” Dean said, smiling in return. They embraced each other, John patting Dean’s back as they hugged.

As they pulled away, John looked like he had tears in his eyes. “Listen, let’s talk later. There’s something I want to say to you.”

“Okay” Dean nodded, slightly concerned about his dad.

“That’s awesome, man. Let me look over the contract for the building before you sign, see if everything’s legit” Sam said, smiling as he was happy for his brother.

“Yeah, for sure” Dean agreed.

“Anything you need from me, son, you got it” Bobby said, from across the table.

“Thanks, Bobby” Dean nodded.

Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy. Everyone shared that with him, as they were proud of the steps he had taken to get here. He loved what he did, and he was excited to build on it and make it something really incredible.

After eating, a few others helped Mary clear up and put away the food. Jo and Ellen were putting food in the fridge, as Dean walked in. As he walked past them at the kitchen bench, he reached into one of the Tupperware containers and took a slice of Turkey, munching on it.

“Hey!” Jo protested. “That was my share of the turkey.”

“It’s all one bird, Harvelle” he mumbled around the slice in his mouth.

“You suck, Winchester” she muttered, glaring at him.

He chuckled as Mary shook her head at him, rolling her eyes playfully as he started helping her with the dishes. Mary looked over at him as he stacked the dishwasher, his demeanor different all of sudden from being fine just a few seconds ago. She sensed something was off.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

Dean nodded, not looking at her. “Yeah. Everything’s good.”

Mary wiped her hands on a dish cloth, as she walked closer to him. “How come I don’t believe you?”

“Mom” Dean shook his head, not really sure if he was in the mood for his mom’s intuition. He couldn’t tell her about Y/N just yet.

“Look, whatever it is… when you’re ready to talk, I’m here. Like I always am” she reassured him, placing her hands on his cheeks.

“Thanks, mom” he said, quietly. She moved in and they hugged, tightly.

When they let go of each other, Dean saw his father wave him over.

Dean followed John down into the basement, which was more of a den for John now. He walked past his desk and over to a little bar cart he had, pouring a double of whiskey into two tumblers. He walked over to Dean and handed one over but didn’t drink it yet.

“What I’m about to say, it’s been a long time coming but I need you to know this” John said, looking down at his glass before he looked up at his son.

“What is it, dad?” Dean asked, his jaw clenched out of fear that something was wrong.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry for putting everything on you when I left after that big fight with your mom. I apologized to her and she forgave me, even if I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I… I never apologized to you, though. I should have. You were 24, just starting at the garage in a more responsible role, but I left everything on your shoulders when I should’ve been there to help you” John said, shaking his head as his eyes glistened.

Dean nodded, understanding him completely. He had always understood why his dad left, and always thought he didn’t need an apology for it. When Y/N told him that it was an important part in moving on, he had agreed. And now here he was, receiving an apology organically, without having to say anything to prompt it. It was like she knew, and it was another reason Dean was grateful to her. If only he could tell his father how important she was to this moment finally happening.

“Dad, I get it. I understand why you left, and yeah sure I was angry when you did… but I got it. I still do. You leaving made me more responsible, and when you did properly hand the garage over to me a few years after that, I was ready for it because of what had happened. So… despite it being a hard time for all of us, it happened for a reason” Dean told him.

“And now you’re expanding the business” John smiled. “I’m so proud of you, Dean.”

“Thanks” Dean smirked.

They clinked their glasses together. As Dean took a sip, he saw his dad still looking at him.

“Now, I just want you to be happy with everything else in your life” John said, looking at him knowingly.

“Dad, I’m not telling you about Y/N” Dean shot him down.

“Oh come on” John laughed. Dean knew what to say to make his father drop the subject.

“Okay, let me put it this way. If mom found out that you knew about Y/N before she did, what would she do?” Dean asked, smirking.

John’s eyes widened. “Okay, you got me there.”

Dean laughed but didn’t say anything, as they both headed upstairs again.

Mark opened the door to his apartment and let Y/N in as he closed the door. She took off her coat and hung it on the back of the stool, as she paced the apartment. Her mind had been reeling in the car on the drive back from his sister’s, and she knew she had to speak up about what she needed to, soon.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked, as he stood in the kitchen.

“No, I’m good” she replied, shaking her head.

“Are you okay?” he asked, knowing straight away that something was wrong. “You were really quiet in the car.”

She sighed, knowing this was it. She tried to smile but she couldn’t. “Mark, we need to talk.”

His face immediately morphed into a frown. “About what?”

“About this” she said, gesturing between them. “I think that we have to get some help, some advice on what to do.”

“Y/N, you’re not making any sense. Advice for what?” he asked, shaking his head in confusion, as he walked over to her.

“For what happened last time when tried to have sex” Y/N sighed, knowing she couldn’t be discreet anymore. “For the fact that you… um… arrived in about 10 seconds of getting started, give or take.”

“What?” Mark shook his head, still not understanding.

She was trying to put it as kindly as she could. She didn’t want to hurt him. “I think you should see someone and then we can try again. Maybe it’ll be better then.”

Mark scoffed a laugh as he stared at her. “What the fuck are you talking about? I-I… I don’t do that.”

Y/N frowned and sighed, as she walked over to him. “Mark, it’s okay. I’m not upset. I just want to see what we can do, and then get past this little hurdle.”

“Little hurdle?” Mark asked, his eyebrows raised. “The fact that you’re accusing me of having some kind of problem with my dick isn’t a little hurdle, Y/N.”

He was getting harsh and she needed to bring the situation down again.

“I’m not accusing you, Mark. I’m telling you the truth. You need to see that this is real and that it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with finding out what’s wrong and us having a great sex life” she countered, trying to remain calm.

He laughed, bitterly and it made her feel sick. “So, now we have a bad sex life?”

“No, I’m saying we don’t have one at all. When you can’t keep it up one time and the next time you get off way too early and I don’t at all… there’s a problem” she replied, glaring at him.

“So, what… you didn’t cum?” he asked, his face morphing into a look of anger. He moved closer to her as he waited for an answer.

She stopped glaring at him as she shook her head. “No.”

“Then maybe you’re the problem” he snapped; his eyebrows furrowed.

“Excuse me?” She moved closer to him, as her eyes widened.

“Yeah, maybe you’re tired from opening your legs for some guy behind my back, that you can’t!” he yelled.

Y/N saw red as her hand lifted up and slapped him across his face, sending a resounding sound around the apartment. “You son of a bitch! I’m trying to help you and that’s what you have to say to me?!”

“I don’t need your help!” he yelled in her face, his eyes glowering as he shook her.

Y/N pushed him hard, his back hitting the wall behind him. He glared at her but made no attempt to move.

“Lose my number, you pathetic ass” she bit back. “I hope whoever comes after me is happy knowing you’re a selfish jerk who can’t see that he’s got a problem.”

Mark was frozen in his place, not being able to move. She quickly took that opportunity to pick up her coat and bag, marching across to the door. With one final glance at him, she opened the door of the apartment and stepped out, slamming it behind her.

Y/N raced down to her car, which was parked in one of the side streets. She got in and didn’t waste time, driving away from the curb quickly. As she drove home, her mind raced. How? How had she gotten herself into this mess again? First Ethan, now Mark. Was she some kind of bad luck attractor? Did she not deserve to have a decent man in her life? She had to thank a higher power that it wasn’t anything worse.

Flicking the radio on, she tried to drown out her anger. As the song changed to Lizzo’s Jerome, she couldn’t help but smile at how appropriate it was. She didn’t need Mark. She didn’t need a man who couldn’t grow up and recognize he had a problem. He was better off with someone else, someone who could handle his baggage.

However, as she felt her eyes welling up and hindering her vision, her mind was reverting back to what it was like when Ethan was in her life. It was telling her that she didn’t deserve to be with anyone. That she was destined to be alone.

She couldn’t wait to get home and let everything she was feeling out.

Dean got out of the Impala, stretching out his limbs. He had truly stuffed himself with the delicious food his mother had made and now he was ready to kick back and relax on the couch, before heading to bed. He was going to go do a little work on the new house the next day, so he knew he needed to be up early.

As he walked to the porch stairs, he frowned when he heard screeching tires approaching. He watched as Y/N’s car pulled harshly into her driveway, the engine cutting out. She got out of the car and slammed the door, but jerked back as something got stuck.

“Fuck!” she yelled, not caring how loud she was considering she was clearly in distress.

Dean didn’t hesitate, rushing over to her. He saw her trying to pull the strap of her bag from where it was stuck in the door.

“Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s okay” he said, as he approached her and put his hand gently on her shoulder. He saw her face and wondered what the hell was going on. He had never seen her that angry before. She was breathing heavily, her expression angry but on the verge of tears. He took the keys from her hands and unjammed the door, taking her bag out before locking the car.

“Thanks” she whispered, not being able to speak louder.

“It’s okay, sweetheart” he said, softly. “Come on.”

He lightly took her hand, relaxing when she didn’t flinch, and guided her to her house.

When they stepped in, Dean helped Y/N over to the couch. He gently sat her down but grimaced as he watched her, her breaths becoming short and worrying.

“Y/N, look at me” he said, gently. When she did, he saw tears start to roll down her cheeks.

“Why…” she struggled to breath as she shook her head. “Why does this keep happening?” she asked, her voice breaking.

The damn broke as she began to sob. She hunched over but Dean held her close, wrapping his arms around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, as Dean held her against his chest, his chin on top of her head.

“Y/N, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m here” he told her, comforting her. “I got you.”

She gripped his jacket tightly, her body shaking against his. “I-I…”

“It’s all gonna be okay, I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here” he whispered in her ear.

Dean just held her and rubbed her back, soothingly. When Y/N’s breathing had returned mostly to normal and she was only letting out small whimpers, she lifted herself off him. She slowly opened her eyes, looking into his green eyes.

“I’m sorry” she choked out, wiping her face roughly. She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at herself, but he hoped she didn’t think that way anymore.

Dean shook his head, offering her a small smile. “Don’t ever be sorry, sweetheart.”

“I… I…” she said, shaking her head.

“Let me get you some water” Dean said, slowly unwrapping himself from her.

He went into the kitchen and found her glasses cabinet, taking one out and filling it with water. He walked back over and handed her the water, watching as she drank slowly.

She wiped her mouth on her sweater sleeve and put the glass on the coffee table.

“Did he… did he do something to you?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

Y/N shook her head and saw his jaw clench, his expression angry and sad. “It was my fault, I shouldn’t have upset him.”

Dean shook his head, gently taking her hand in his. “I’m sure it’s not, Y/N.”

She waited a few moments to calm down before she spoke. “He’s clearly got issues in the bedroom, but he can’t acknowledge that and decided to blame me for it instead.”

Dean could feel a raging fire within himself, but he kept calm for her. All he wanted to do was find Mark and kick his ass into oblivion, but he knew Y/N would never tell him where he lived for that very reason.

“I sure know how to pick them” she laughed, and they suddenly turned into quiet sobs as she launched herself into him, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face in his neck. Dean held her close, never wanting to let her go. They weren’t sure how long they stayed that way.

She pulled away first, slowly and looked up into his eyes again. “Don’t leave me tonight” she said, quietly. “Please? I… I don’t want to be alone.”

“You’re not alone.” Dean leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’ll never leave you.”

After a few more minutes of holding each other close, they pulled away from each other. Y/N’s sadness suddenly escalated into anger, her face forming into a glare as she stood up. She walked over to her little bar, picked up a tumbler and poured a decent amount of whiskey into it. She took a large sip, not even hissing as it burned her throat when it went down. Dean watched silently, worried about what she was feeling and going through.

“Y/N…” he started but she cut him off.

“Fuck him” she snapped. She turned around and faced Dean, scowl still prominent. “Fuck him for making me think that his problems in the bedroom were my fault. Fuck. Him.”

Dean didn’t say anything, knowing she needed to let it all out. He raised an eyebrow as he wondered what Mark’s problems were, but he figured he really didn’t need to know. He had a feeling he was thinking the right thing, though.

“I was trying to help him” she said, shaking her head with a bitter scoff. “What did I do to fall into something like this again?” she asked, her eyes glistening again. “He’s exactly like Ethan, and somehow… I couldn’t see it. I fell for it again.”

She shook her head as it dropped down, her eyes closed as she tried to hold back her tears. Dean walked up to her, lifted her chin up with his finger, gently, until their eyes met.

“You didn’t do anything, Y/N. It’s them who should know they’ve got a good thing when it’s right in front of them. You’re too good for them. Some guy is gonna come along someday and see that how lucky he is to have you” he said, staring into her eyes.

Y/N didn’t say anything as she continued to look into his eyes. He said some guy, but that’s not what she wanted. She wanted him.

She nodded, a small smile gracing her face. “Thank you, Dean. You’re… I feel like I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I owe you so much.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “You don’t owe me anything, sweetheart.”

Y/N smiled before she looked up at the clock. It wasn’t all that late, just 9pm, but she was exhausted. Her body felt drained and she really wanted to turn in early.

“I should get changed” she said, looking away from him. “Do you want to go home and get changed?” she asked him, as she took in his attire.

Dean shook his head, as he looked at himself and then up at her. “No, it’s okay. I’ll just uh… I’ll sleep like this.”

“You sure?” she asked, frowning.

“I’m sure, Y/N” he replied, with a small chuckle.

She smiled, softly with a slow nod. “Okay.”

Y/N excused herself to go get changed into her red and black plaid pyjamas and loose, black t-shirt. As she walked out, she laughed a little as she saw Dean standing in her living room, looking over her books, records and DVDs.

“Dean, you can make yourself comfortable” she said, as she sat down on the couch, her legs tucked under her. “I don’t mind.”

Dean walked over as he took his jacket off, hanging it over the back of the couch. He sat down on the other end of the couch, a large gap between them.

“I don’t bite, either” she laughed as she looked at him.

Dean gave her a nod as he moved a little closer. Y/N wasn’t satisfied with that, so she moved in rest of the way, her body incredibly close to his. She leaned her head on his shoulder, giving him the ability to smell her strawberry shampoo. She turned on the TV and flicked through the channels, trying to land on something.

“Tell me something good” she said, as she kept flicking through the channels.

“Something good?” he questioned, wondering what he could tell her. He smirked as it came to him. “Well… I’m still yet to sign the contract because I want Sammy to look over it, but… I found a building for the restoration site.”

She gasped, her face erupting into a huge smile. “Dean, that’s wonderful news!”

Dean was glad to see her happy after what occurred today. He laughed a little as his arms wrapped around her, when she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I’m so happy for you” she said, quietly but he still heard her.

“Thanks, Y/N” he smirked, as they pulled away from each other.

She smiled at him but looked away back to the TV, to continue flicking through channels.

Dean smiled as he watched her. He never thought he’d have another person in his corner, other than his family. Lisa used to be happy for him when he’d do well, before things started to change for them. It was different with Y/N, though. She wasn’t just happy for him. She was genuinely excited and wanted to know about every aspect of his life and his work. He knew in that moment that he couldn’t let her go. He’d give her some time, considering she still had to sort out her situation with Mark, but after that… he was going to bite the bullet ask her out.

Tell me somethin’, girl

Are you happy in this modern world?

Or do you need more?

Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

When Y/N finally settled on a channel playing re-runs of The Three Stooges, Dean looked at the screen with a big smirk on his face. She took that time to glance over at him from the corner of her eye. This man was unlike any she had ever encountered. He was different from the men she had dated in so many ways. He may have had a tough yet incredibly handsome exterior, but his generous, caring nature was what drew her towards him. She needed to give herself a little time to clear her head and her life of Mark, but then she was ready to pursue things with Dean. She had been ready for him for so long, but their timing had been all off. Now, there was nothing to come in between them.

Looking at him as he sat next to her, she knew she wanted him to always be right there, that close to her. She knew she was in love with him. How could she not be after he had done so much for her?

Tell me something, boy

Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void?

Or do you need more?

Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I’m falling

In all the good times I find myself

Longing for change

And in the bad times I fear myself

Later that night, Y/N stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. She picked up her phone from the nightstand and looked at the time. 11.30pm. She unlocked her phone and opened her messages, typing one out.

Dean stared up at the ceiling of Y/N’s living room, his hands behind his head. His mind was whirling with thoughts of her and everything that happened that night. How could anyone ever treat her the way they had? He swore to himself that if she ever gave him a chance, he’d spent every day making sure she knew how important she was to him. How much he cared about her. How much he loved her.

His eyes widened as the realization sunk in. He was in love with Y/N. It had hardly been enough time, but he guessed that didn’t matter. Not being able to be with her had only made his heart long for her more, and now here he was. In love with her. He needed to keep that one to myself for a while. The last thing he needed to do was scare her off.

His phone chimed and he picked it up from the coffee table, reading the message that popped up.

Y/N: Are you awake?

Dean smirked as he typed back.

Dean: Yep, just staring at the ceiling

Y/N: Can you come in here?

Dean smirk widened as he threw the blanket off himself and got up from the couch. He walked down the hallway, the wooden floorboards cold against his warm feet. He slowly pushed Y/N’s bedroom door open, smiling when he saw her sitting up against the headboard. She sat up on her knees, a nervous smile playing at her lips as he walked closer to the bed. She pushed the covers aside and held out her hand. He took it in his hand, slipping under the covers. He reached up and turned off the light, settling in next to her. Y/N moved closer, resting her head on his chest, her arm around his waist. Dean smiled as he wrapped his arm around her, bringing her in closer to him.

“Goodnight, Dean” she whispered, her lips pressing against his shirt-covered chest.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

Soon, they both drifted off to sleep, dreaming of their future together.

I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in

I’ll never meet the ground

Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us

We’re far from the shallow now

The next morning, Y/N woke up alone, but felt that the empty space next to her was still warm. She smiled slightly as she saw a note on the pillow. She smiled even wider when she read it, her heart soaring.

Mornin’ beautiful,

I didn’t have it in me to wake you up, but there’s some things I had to do this morning. I promise I’ll be back later, and we can hang out.

See ya tonight,

Dean

She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she walked into the kitchen and started brewing the coffee.

Y/N couldn’t believe how much had changed for her overnight.

She was going to be cautious and make sure to take care of own mental state first, but she suddenly couldn’t wait to see what her future held when it came to Dean.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @supraveng @roonyxx @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Note

"should i ask for song requests?" MA'AM- anyways Show Me Love by Mali Hood with Cal pls

LMAO, look, it’s just a thought. Also I love Mali, but Robin S’s version--a BOP. So I’m going to base it off that version.

It’s long, whoops.

CW: Mentions of gaining weight. So if you’re sensitive, feel free to skip this!

___________

It wasn’t in Calum’s plan to be out this late. He had planned to finish up the first season of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix. He had planned to order himself a pizza, extra large so that he could have a few slices for lunch tomorrow too and possibly a White Claw, or two, or more. Who knows? He surely wasn’t going to count those calories.

However, when Calum and Ashton found themselves deep into the evening running over lyrics along with some other friends and somebody mentioning hitting up a bar nearby to get some food, Calum figured he could tag along. He’d avoid drinking until he got home but greasy bar food could be an easy substitute for pizza.

It’s as Calum dips the end of fries into the ranch given on the side a tap sounds of the speakers, cutting through the music that’s been playing in the background. “Hope everyone’s doing great tonight,” a voice states.

Calum looks over his shoulder to see a man up on a stage. “Karaoke’s opening up in fifteen minutes. Find me at the bar to sign up or feel free just to jump in.”

“Oh, we gotta stay for this,” Ashton laughs. The rest of the group readily agrees and Calum shrugs, polishing off the last half the fries before going in for another bite of his sandwich.

It’s not until the music cuts out again that Calum realizes the fifteen minutes as flown by. The first two people are a little wobbly, and giggling into the mic as they sing their choice in song. One goes for Journey which gets most of the room to sing along too. It hits a lull after about the fourth person. The DJ calls for people who didn’t sign up to just jump in.

There’s a thick silence and across the room, Calum catches a shriek. “We have one!”

He turns to the shrill and sees a pocket of girls at a booth. Three of them are tugging at a fourth that remains seated, shaking her head. However, her unwillingness is no match to her friends and they end up dragging her to the stage. Calum watches as she speaks for a moment to the DJ.

Her friends cheer front and center. Their claps somehow echo throughout the entire building. Under the light, Calum can see more of her features, high cheekbones, brown skin dazzling and peaking out from the fishnets covering her long legs. She chuckles nervously into the mic just as the music cuts in. The low sound, the husky voice makes Calum gasps.

He hadn’t seen her ages since they ended their fling. And she looked different--her cheeks were fuller. The weight gain made her look healthier than ever. She looked fucking good in the green plaid mini shirt and white high neck sleeves top. Her thighs shake just a little as she taps the beat out with her heel and soon, she belts out the opening note to Show Me Love vocalizing before the lyrics are pushed out from her chest.

What hadn’t changed as how at ease she seemed to be on the stage. Though she always protested it. The second someone put a mic in her hand and a spotlight on her, she turned into a whole new person. “I really need a lover, a lover that wants to be there,” she belts out and smiles before stepping down the stairs.

Through the crowd, she dances, singing along to the electronic beat holding steady. “You got to show me love,” her voice dips to match the note change and she points out to someone in the crowd, singing to them for a moment before twirling her way down the room. The crowd eats up, cheering along as she sings and taking moments to dance along with her.

“Words are so easy to say a lie, you got to show me love. I’m tired of getting caught up in the one night affairs,” she sings and gaze lands on Calum. Her eyes go wide. They hadn’t really run in the same circles for a while after Calum ended things.

And admittedly, he ended them for legitimate reasons. She was leaving for school abroad and said they could try to just be friends. But that wasn’t something he was looking for and rather than string her along knowing he’d ultimately be breaking her heart, he was honest. And she understood that. She thanked him for it.

It was harder than he thought it would be--watching her leave. He wanted to text her, reach out and see how things were going, if she had settled in nicely. And the urges lasted longer than Calum had never admitted to anyone, but they did eventually dissipate; it took him unfollowing her social media.

And come to think of it, he still noticed when she liked something of his--as few and far between as his postings were and he wasn’t even that active on his private account but whenever he was, she always wound up liking it. Every notification made his heart flutter just a little.

She moves on, still not missing a beat to the song, though she does brush a hand over Calum’s shoulder as she passes, sending a wink his way before she carries herself to the bar. Her heeled boots wind up clicking up and down the length of the bar counter. She dances with a few more people, women and men, smiling as she twirls about.

Returning back to the stage, the last note falling off from the speaker, she thanks the crowd and DJ and quickly steps back down the steps. The crowd gives her a standing ovation and she waves before returning back to her booth. Calum’s thankful he’s on the end and excuses himself for a second. No one seems bothered by his exit--Ashton’s the only one that could possibly recognize her and it’s not shock he doesn’t.

Calum walks over to the table and even though she’s smushed into the corner, on the side of the group, he knows he can’t leave this bar tonight with talking to her. He smiles as he approaches the table. “Evening, ladies.” Everyone is at lost for words but at least smile and nod at his approach. “I-I just wanted to say that that was a great performance. You’re extremely talented.”

“Thanks,” she returns, leaning out. “Would you believe it if I said I don’t do that sort of thing often.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he laughs softy. He goes to ask her to talk, or if she needs a refill but the air’s tense, a little awkward. “But honestly, you were amazing.” He nods again at her and throws up a quick wave before continuing on like he’s headed to the bathrooms. That is not how he wanted that to go. But how does he act like the last they haven’t lost contact for nearly four years. Calum splashes some water onto his face, staring up into the mirror.

She remembered him, clearly. Maybe it was that defense mechanism, the part of him that was trying to tell him that it was too much time passed. She possibly had moved on from all of that. Yeah, she probably had moved on, Calum thinks to himself. If she had, there would be no use in trying to make a move, he’d get rejected anyway.

He grabs some paper towel and dries his face and hands before pushing open the door to the bathroom. He doesn’t get more than a four steps from the door before a voice calls out his name, “Calum. Hey, wait.” A hand grabs to his elbow.

He spins to find her, smiling a bit lopsided and lips still glossy as they always were all those years ago, with also a bit of a darker lip liner around the edges. “Sorry,” she rushes out, dropping her hand from his elbow. “I just-I just wanted to say thanks. For the compliment. And, uh, if you weren’t busy, if you wanted to catch up sometime. Over a drink, coffee, lunch, whatever.”

“I would love that,” he exhales in a rush.

“Cool. Here’s my number--I had to change it become of my ex, but that’s not what I want to focus on.” She hands out a napkin with numbers scribbled onto it. “Just text me and we can arrange a date and time.”

Calum takes it with a nod, reaching for his phone from inside his pants pocket. “I’ll text you so you have my number too.” He taps her number in before typing a quick message and pressing send.

“To be honest, I didn’t think you’d recognize me or like want to talk or anything.”

“What-what do you mean by that?”

“I mean, there might just be a pound or two more on me than the last time you saw me. And when I left, we kind of just ended things and I-I don’t know. We hadn’t spoken in a while. I just moved back into town about six months ago. Seeing you just made me feel like I did when I was 19.”

Calum can’t lie and say he never suspected that she had feelings for him. At that time, he wasn’t looking for anything. “Well, first, you still look fucking gorgeous so I wouldn’t worry at all about that. Things are different now. I’m looking for different things now.” She nods, casting a look to the floor. “It’s like the song said,” Calum continues, “I’m tired of giving my love and getting no where.”

“You probably think I’m crazy or something, all these years. But there’s always been something about you, Calum. Something I couldn’t shake.”

“Nah, it can’t be me. Do you know how many times when you first left I almost messaged you? And I know I kinda put a cork in things then. But if you think there’s something about me, allow me to introduce you to yourself.”

She laughs, playfully slapping at his bicep. “Oh god. Quit while you’re behind.”

Calum laughs in return, watching the way she shakes her head. “What are you doing tomorrow, around 1?”

“Um, nothing. Tomorrow’s my day off. Why?”

“Let’s get lunch. Anywhere you want to go.”

“There’s a new sushi place. Just up the block from here.” She rattles off the name and Calum nods. He went there last week to try it out. “There if you’re okay with it?”

“More than okay,” Calum agrees. “But uh, I don’t want to take you away from your friends too long. So I’ll see you there tomorrow, at 1.”

“Okay, yeah, yeah. Tomorrow at one.” She steps into him, almost as she’s going to bypass him but stops just before doing so fully. Her hand comes up to his cheek and she presses a kiss before finally stepping away. Calum exhales, lungs nearly collapsing in his chest. He forgot that about her--how she was open and actionable, always willing to make the first step even if blew up in her face.

He watches her, finally composed enough to turn around as she slips back into the booth with her friends. He hears her laughter above the sounds of Led Zeppelin, another person singing for the crowd.

#calum hood #calum hood blurb #calum hood imaigne #calum hood fluff #calum hood angst #calum hood x oc #calum hood 5sos #calum 5sos #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #h writes

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quietmyfearswith · 4 years

Text

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 2/3

status — ongoing series

warnings — name-calling, hint at alcoholism, attempt at angst

word count (without the lyrics) — 1,904 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; tho in this one i didn’t mention it i like to think i was able to reflect the prompt.this is based on narcissist by no rome ,, listen to the song here if u want ,, feedback is appreciated and hope u guys have a lovely day !! :> y/f/n = your full name

masterlist | series masterlist

Stay out late, I just wanna get stoned

Telling all your friends that I'm never at home

And my face filling up with blood

But you're still saying they don't like your bourgeois

Surprisingly, the meeting with the representative from Eichner Enterprise went well.

The rest of the day seemed like a blur to Carter that is until he came back at 2:00 in the afternoon after having his lunch. “You have a 2:45 pm appointment at this address,” Y/N informed him as she prevented him from entering his office. Carter looked down on the piece of paper she held and looked at her oddly as he looked up at her — she never informed him this late of having a prior appointment with anyone.

“And I’m only hearing about this now because?” Carter might have sounded rude and discourteous, but in his defense he was simply mirroring the cold tone his assistant used on him. Which, thinking about it now, was not the best way to repay her for her efforts in keeping the company together, and if he was being honest, she was the glue that prevented him from crumbling down and giving in to his negative thoughts and going insane.

Y/N wasn’t fazed or didn’t flinch upon his reply and instead put a hand on her hip, “They suddenly became available and this is an appointment you were looking out for a while now.” He nodded, only then realizing how she was able to organize and plan ahead most, if not all, of his errands. “After this what’ll my day look like?”

Walking away from standing in front of him, she was now heading back to her desk to complete her work but she informed him, “You’re free to go after you meet up with that appointment.”

He nodded and debated about whether or not he should apologize for what he had said earlier. Deciding against it, he went inside his office to quickly retrieve his car keys and other items. As he brushed past her work desk, he muttered a simple goodbye to which she just curtly nodded as she typed away on her desktop.

The drive towards his destination was filled with his denial of his current state of being. He kept convincing himself that truly, there was no problem with how he was living his life and that there was no reason for him to be alarmed, right? Upon arriving at the address, Carter’s confusion increased. He was standing in front of what looked like to be a residential building.

Walking in front of the entrance, he noticed how the building seemed to be the location of some services — some doctor, lawyer, legal advice. He shrugged off his doubts and trusted Y/N’s words that he had an appointment here that he was putting off for some time. The lack of elevators in the premise prompted him to take on the two flights of stairs in order to reach room 207.

Knocking on the door, he heard someone give him permission to enter. A female receptionist immediately greeted him warmly, “Welcome, do you have an appointment?” Carter scratched his neck and looked around, trying to get a hint of what kind of appointment he was going to have. “Yeah, I believe a 2:45 appointment,” he replied meekly, which was unusual for him to sound like for he always needs to sound confident.

As she nodded, her auburn wavy hair moved along with her and quickly typed on her computer, “Dr. Richards will see you know, it’s the door to your left.” She pointed at the door to which Carter followed his gaze at and mumbled a soft, “What?” to.

Not sure what came over him, he did follow where the receptionist pointed to and found himself knocking on the door. “Hello, Mr. Baizen, come in and make yourself comfortable.” A woman kindly welcomed him as she opened the door and directed him to sit on the couch near a coffee table.

Once he sat down, the lady with salt and pepper hair immediately began to strike up a conversation, “So, how are you today, Mr. Baizen?” As she sat down on the opposite side of the coffee table, Carter noticed how she had a clipboard on her lap as she held a ballpen on one of her hands.

“Honestly? Confused. I don’t know why I’m here, my assistant just told me this was an appointment I’ve been holding back on,” he blurt out as he started to feel that his long sleeves were too tight on him, which prompted him to unclasp the top button as he settles both his hands on the arm rests of the couch.

The woman nodded and smiled warmly, “Y/N has been telling me for months how much she worried about your well-being. And that she was trying her best to convince you to see a therapist even though,” she was quickly cut off when Carter questioned, “Y/N? Therapist? What the hell are you talking about?”

Dr. Richards was silent for a few seconds, and Carter was waiting for her to admit that she was pulling his leg and that she really was a businesswoman who was interested to work with him. However, she was just really trying to piece together what was going on.

“Y/F/N is one of my patients, and I am her psychologist. You know her as your assistant, yes?” She began her explanation, Carter nodded in confirmation and as a cue for her to continue, “One of the things she usually talks about during our sessions is her worry for your well-being. That you might be abusing certain substances as a coping mechanism. She told me how she desired for you to meet up with me, in order to address your issues and other possible problems.”

After hearing her explanation, Carter found himself with his mouth wide open in shock and disbelief. He didn’t think how serious Y/N really was when she said that she was concerned about him. That she would go out of her way to clear his schedule and book an appointment for him, it made him feel something that was weird and something he hadn't felt before — he just couldn’t name what it was.

“Well I’m here now so how does this work?” he managed to say as he shrugged his shoulders. Dr. Richards smiled in surprise and appreciation, in her point of view, it looked like he was willing to comply and cooperate with her. “Let’s start with you recalling your earliest memories with alcohol.”

Coughing up the promethazine

Living like an evergreen

Sorry for the things that I've done

Now Selena won't be friends with me

I was kissing Emily

I love you, it was never your fault

(Got me like)

Nursing a scotch, Carter laughed quietly as he recalled the events of earlier.

He could not believe how he immediately opened up to Dr. Richards. How he told her that his father introduced him to alcohol at an early age and he saw it as their way of bonding. How he picked up on his father’s habits of turning to alcohol when they felt upset, confused, sad, or if he felt any emotion really. On how he fears he might turn up like him or worse. How he wants to continue to be successful in his business ventures.

Part of him is thankful for the appointment Y/N set up; it allowed him to be vulnerable and open up to someone who listened to him without judgement or careless replies. But the bigger part of him felt angry with her. Why did she think that he needed professional help or some shit?

A girl flirted with him earlier, to which he of course flirted back with. He suggested that they go back to his place to which she agreed but first she had to tell her friends about where she was going. Finishing up his scotch, he dropped a few bills on the counter, while another girl approached him.

In his distracted and preoccupied state, he asked, “You ready to go take this to the bedroom?” The girl looked taken aback, she had yet to mutter a word and yet he was already asking her to go home? Seemed like a win for her either way. She nodded and looped her arm around his and he guided her to where he parked her car.

The following morning, Y/N knocked on the bedroom door and hearing groans was her usual cue to enter the room. “Oh God, you didn’t mention you had someone with you.” She exclaimed as she avoided looking at the bed where Carter laid with his female companion and instead made a beeline to his closet to pick out his outfit.

“Selena, babe, you need to leave now,” Carter sweetly cooed to the woman beside him which was a contrast to what he wanted her to do. The girl shot up and slapped him, “Dick! My name’s Emily not Selena!” The slap added to his headache but he was relieved to see her wear her clothes from the previous night and hastily make her way out of the suite.

Carter removed the duvet from his body and stood up and walked to where Y/N was, he leaned against the wall, “You know I’m still mad about how you deceived me yesterday.” On cue, he was handed his outfit for the day as his assistant brushed past him, “And how exactly did I deceive you? I said that it was an appointment you were holding off on which is true because you scoff at the mere mention of help.”

He threw his clothes to the side and angrily snapped at her, “And what makes you think I need help huh? So what if I drink every now and then? Don’t think that equates to me having a problem!” She rolled her eyes and pointed a finger at him, “That right there is a problem! Your denial! You deny the idea that there’s a problem with how you always need alcohol! Not want, need. You deny the help I give you! You know what Dr. Richards told me following your appointment? She said that when you left you seemed a hundred pounds lighter!”

Carter’s jaw clenched and he looked cold, but he was just really trying to organize his thoughts and prevent himself from lashing out on Y/N. “I care for you, Carter,” she softly said as she was brushing her hand up and down his forearm, “I don’t want to see you lose everything you worked hard for. Or even worse, see you lose yourself.”

His heart twisted upon hearing her say that. He never had someone genuinely care about him and go the extra mile in proving so. But there was something about the unfamiliarity with the situation that made him resort back to denying this kind of comfort and care. “You’re suspended from your duties for 2 weeks.”

She looked at him in disbelief at what he said, and if he was being honest he too was surprised with what he just told her. But there was no turning back now, was there? Her look of disbelief was only visible for a brief moment before she looked at him pointedly, “Fine. I’ll forward your schedule to Melissa and the other files you need.”

The sound of her heels clicking away made him look at her retreating form, he found himself following behind her with small and slow steps. Before she exited his bedroom, he gave her one last look as she bid farewell to him by saying, “I’m not sorry about what I did. Alcohol’s not the only thing that can be there for you, I’m always here for you, Carter. But I guess that’s not what you want.”

#carter baizen x reader #carter baizen series #ceo!carter baizen x reader #carter baizen x fem!reader #ceo!carter baizen x assistant!reader #sebastian stan fanfiction #quietmyfearswith #My writing #please dont steal my work thank you #narccisist #togwc

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beecherdrysdale · 3 years

Note

Hiii my bbs, I hope you are well. Get ready for a longgg post.

Some opening thoughts:

Brigid and I will be buying new chains for our boys. Esp for Quinner because he doesn’t have one and I want to start seeing this 🥵 look. Kesh care to join us?

- a baby that looks like Jamie and has his cute freckles. Brigid knows what I’m taking about.

Also brigid would like like Jamie’s beanie vv much so now we both are in that club because I have quinners and Brigid has Jamie’s.

- Mykonos is gorgeous. That is that.

- I am loving Brigid tracing Jamie’s freckles while he sleeps🥺 and I find it adorable that Brigid can only sleep with Jamie :)this would so be insta worthy photos.

- hehe yes to getting beeped by machines!! Okkk I’m glad, so Lexi is busy with Quinner means that we are just getting coffeeee. We aren’t like you and Jamie who make out in arenas.

- hehe Jamie would just be glaring at cozzy when he sits down, and cozzy becomes slightly terrified so he gives up the seat but still wants $50 because he wants to buy himself something on the flight. He goes to sit w his sleeping buddy devon. Kesh and Kirby are just to cool to deal with our crazy shit in the morning.

-no sore neck for Dylan. Thank you brigid. Yes to all of these soft moments. Playing with each other’s hair, the freckle tracing and the slightly heated make out that you would be having while Dylan is sleeping because I don’t think he could handle that lol. Another thought jamie just helping you fidget less because you keep hitting the back of Bowen’s seat and he’s sleeping.

- Kesh and Kirby are like the star couple, they are just perfect with each other. I understand why you wouldn’t want to know us esp when quinton Braden and Peyton start to throw snacks over the seats.

-honestly if I had that much coffee I would probably throw up, but kudos to Quinner for passing out after consuming all of that. I want freckles kisses but also I would play with jacks rope bracelets and w his hair 🥺. You would probably get really annoyed because of my leg tapping so Quinner also needs to calm that down as well.

- me slapping Ryan to wake up is just vv funny to me. Yess to them admiring our hair . Whenever I travel to warm places my skin always clears uppp so it’s nice.

-yay we are all sharing rooms w our bbs. hey hey

hey I’m not that dirty minded but like how can you resist? I don’t wanna hear to much from the two of you I mean it 😏. Omg I just had an idea imagine everybody just running into each other’s rooms and chasing each other. I hope we don’t walk in on you two lol. And we all settle in one room and have a slumber party lol. Face masks w the boys ‘I’m sorry why is it green’ ‘calm down, it’s a cucumber face mask it’ll hydrate your skin’ and then when they take them off the boys are glowing heheh.

- ok so I’ve bought an entire new wardrobe for this trip lol l. Ooo shopping would be vv fun. In this reality we have money hehe. Jamie carrying you into the water is 🤌 and I love it. Me and Quinner still need to be chaotic so we push each other into waves and then Brigid and jamie join. Meanwhile Kesh and Kirby are just chilling. Yesss with the hair slicked back and just wrapping your legs around their waists and maybeeeee kissing.

-finally me and Brigid are on the same team. Like Ryan you hit me in the face brigid will hit you 2x harder. Yess to all of us having moments on the beach at night.

- apparently we had some eventful nights😏 ehich I love even some of the boys because they want to have summer flings so no early morning for us. I love hotel breakfast as well esp if they have a buffet because you can eat as much as you want.

- cliff diving: ofc Brigid and Dylan go first because they are literally not scared of anything. aww you grabbing Jamie’s hand while he’s terrified. While that’s happening me and Ryan are hyping each other up, we slap each other on the backs etc. And we start to run and I get Quinner to come even if he’s terrified. I’d probably yell ‘let’s fucking goooo’ Brigid I’m making you the person that yells Marco the entire time lol cuz you are the swimmer of the group. Hehe us blaming Kesh and Kirby because they couldn’t figure out how to get out of the water. just a thought, wouldn’t it be better if you stay with the boys just in case they have trouble swimming and you can help them. And maybe I can go with Dylan and bond with him a bit. Any way works tho :). Hehe once everybody gets to the beach we are just crawling because we are tired from swimming and we just sleep on the beach lol.

- I’m good with dong half and half- snorkelling and scuba. Awww you holding Jamie’s hand and pulling him along. Same with me and Quinner and kesh and Kirby. I was terrified lol . Oo that’s so cool that you got to swim with turtles. That’s great for 8 year old Brigid:)).

Ooo a catamaran is so fun as well. Anyways dylan is just talented at everything. So he plays guitar and maybe he can help me reawaken my guitar skills. So I just watch him lol. Finally somebody who doesn’t make fun of me listening to the mamma Mia sound track. I love it sm and it just gives off the biggest Greece vibes. Aww and all of us just singing softly. And then just cuddling with the boys in the sun and me taking a bunch of photos! Aloe Vera it is😏😏.

Side story: so brigid you are playing music on the speakers while we are on the boat and Jamie goes to change the song and sees that there is an adorable photo of you and him as your wallpaper and he asks ‘you have me as your lock screen’ and you blush and say yes and he gives you the biggest kiss and then the rest of the boys are like awwww and all compare lock screens. And then Quinner looks at mine and smiles same w Kirby.

Yayyy us dressing cute all of hair is in natural waves/curls and getting dinner at a cute restaurant. and then exploring the nightlife in Mykonos. Ooo the drinks are a plus to us being chaotic at night. Like we would laugh so much at night. Awww kisses under the moon and then backkkk to the hotel for spicy evening pt 2

Side note: so imagine we already had dinner and we just start exploring Mykonos and we come across a live band playing outside and Jamie sees people dancing and then asks you to dance:) and you ofc agree and you just have the most intimate slow dance 🥺 and you just stare into his eyes and then tuck your face into his neck. Kirby also sees and asks kesh to dance and they are just admiring each other. And then Quinner sees me pouting and crying over you two and asks me to dance as well and we also slow dance. The rest of boys also find some ladies to dance with.

Next day: we decide to explore Mykonos like going to see the ruins and historical sights. So we all set off in the morning. Since Greece has a lot of alleys and stairs everyone some of us ( me and Ryan I fall down the stairs sm ) accidentally fall down the stairs ‘oh for fucks sake why do I always have to fall’ ‘what about me Lexi?’ ‘ you’re a hockey player you fall all the time anyway’ so we just bicker and you guys laugh and Quinner helps me up. ‘Hey Brigid we heard you and Jamie last night’ ‘shut up Cole we saw that girl sneak out of your room lol’ so everyone is just chirping each other the entire time. We get to the historic sights and we are all in awe and take a bunch of photos. Then we go get lunch and just chill. After that we all return to the hotel in the evening and we all get dinner. All in all I am loving this trip. It’s just so great.

Also I realized that pro tennis players go there during off season and so if I see one of them I will totally ask for a photo and go play tennis with them one afternoon. ‘Omg guys Serena William is hereeee’ and I just run off lol.

- another part might be happening but I might start with our Europe tripppppppp.

Ly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy 🥺.

omgggg all of this is fucking amazing!! i love all of it, and ofc you guys lexi and kesh💕 anyways longggg post ahead

ok so first some random thoughts

ok so first of all new chains for the boyssss. quinner needs to start wearing one for lexi asap, and kesh and i are getting new ones for kirby and jamie. tbh they’re just as much gifts for us as for them lol

omg yessss i want a bb jamie. and his freckles 🥺🥺 i’m sorry this child is going to be so pale tho

hehe all of us out here stealing beanies. jamie’s beanie just looks so soft and i want to wear and then i can play with his hair better when he’s not wearing it too lol. and ofc lexi gets credit for starting this trend with quinner

ok moving on to the flight lol

pleaseee i just want to trace jamie’s freckles and play with his hair while he sleeps. and us only being able to sleep with each other 🥰🥺 hehe please someone take pics for us

lmaooo yes lexi is busy GETTING COFFEE with quinner. and no need to bring jamie and i into this lexi, please and thank you

hehe cozzy making jamie give him $50 to switch seats so he can buy food on the flight. it’s ok cozzy isn’t really mad bc he can sleep better by devon anyways, he doesn’t have to deal with dyl and i’s crazy shit. lmaooo love kesh and kirby ignoring us

lol you’re welcome dyl for keeping you comfy, you better be getting me food to pay me back later. and then me and jamie just being soft 🥺🥺 tracing freckles and playing with each others hair. awww just peppering each others faces with kisses and then it somehow turns into a makeout. good thing dyl is asleep so he doesn’t slap one of us lmao. omg yessss jamie holding my hand or putting a hand on my leg so i’ll stop fidgeting the whole time so bo can sleep lol

awww yes kesh and kirby are adorable together, we love that for them. haha honestly same, i can see why they don’t wanna sit by us

hehe quinner just has insanely high coffee tolerance, so he’s passed out on the plane lmao. but that gives lexi the perfect opportunity to play with his hair and rope bracelet. hehe he might pretend to still be asleep for a while after he wakes up bc it feels good. and then once he wakes up he kisses your freckles and he just puts a hand on your leg so you’ll stop kicking my chair (ty quinner)

lmaoooo i want to see you slapping ryan awake. and then us looking cute with our curly/wavy hair and our clear skin

ok so first day in greece

all of us get to share rooms with our bbs:) also i said we would try to keep quiet, i don’t know what more you want from jamie and i. i don’t think you and quinner are exactly silent either at night lmao. omg yesss running into each other’s rooms playing hotel tag! hehe i advise if you see a singular piece of clothing on our floor then you leave, bc i keep my room freakishly neat. but anywayssss i would dominate hotel tag, i love that game and i have a lot of practice lol

omg yes slumber party!! we can watch movies and stuff together and make the guys do face masks lmao. ‘why is it green’ ‘wait mine’s grey’ ‘i don’t want this shit on my skin’ ‘guys just put them on, it’ll be good for you’ omg yessss when we take them off they’re just glowing, love that for them

hehe all of us girls going shopping together to get cute new clothes bc guess what? we have moneyyyyy. and all the guys are just like where did they go

hehe yes jamie carrying me and then quinner and lexi pushing each other in behind us lol. but then ofc jamie and i join bc we’re (read: i’m) overly competitive. and kesh and kirby just chilling on the beach lol. and then i loveeee moments in the water, just like the slicked back hair and wrapping legs around waists and definitely maybe kissing

hehe yes lexi and i are the dream team. ryan i will beat you tf up if i have to lol. awww and cute moments on the beach at night 🥰

next dayyyy

hehe late breakfast bc we had eventful nights and don’t wanna get up early. and then i’m eating sm at the buffet lol and the guys are just like how? bc i’m just a very hungry person in general lol

hehe ok cliff diving: obvi me and dyl first bc we’re the daredevils, but i also pull jamie with us bc i don’t want to leave my bb behind. and then you and ryan hype each other up and you guys come next but then you pull quinner with you too, bc you don’t want to leave him behind. hehe i’m not being marco the whole time sorry, whoever gets tagged becomes marco. hehe and then once we’re ready to get out we blame kesh and kirby that we don’t know how lol ‘wow thanks mom and dad, how helpful’ jk we still love you kesh!! honestly i’m down to either, stay with the guys in the water or climb up, i did do rock climbing for a couple years tho so idk if that makes a difference. but then also they probably need help swimming and you want to bond with dyl, so honestly up to you:)

snorkeling and scuba diving - all of us holding hands with our bfs and swimming with them🥺 hehe yes little brigid was really just living a wild life lol. anywaysss then we’re back on the catamaran and dyl’s just playing music and then we give lexi a turn and she’s surprisingly good for having not played in so long. and then singing mama mia is so fun! and just hanging out on the boat in general and having fun and cuddling with our boys. and then ofc we have to use aloe vera lol

hehe yess i have aux on the boat, but at some point i just ask jamie to go change the song and he knows my password, but i forgot he doesn’t know i changed my wallpaper. so then he’s sees the pic of us cuddling together in the airport and he’s just like ‘i’m your wallpaper’ and i just blush and go ‘well, yeah’ and he just comes over and hugs me and gives me a kiss. so then everyone’s comparing wallpapers lol, and so quinner and kirby are vv happy when they see lexi and kesh’s

yesss all of us looking cute and exploring mykonos nightlife. haha everyone’s at least a little tipsy bc it’s super easy to get drinks there. hehe all of us super loud and laughing and stuff, love that. and then moonlight kisses🥰

awww yes, we’re exploring and we see a live band so jamie asks me to dance. and i blush but ofc i say yes, so we’re just having the softest most intimate slow dance🥺 staring into each other’s eyes at first, but then i tuck my face into his chest bc i get nervous with eye contact. and then ofc kirby has to ask kesh bc they’re #couplegoals and they’re just admiring each other while they dance. and quinner isn’t the best with social cues so he doesn’t pick up on it right away, but then he sees you’re sad and asks you to dance with him and then you two are adorable together. and the other guys ask some girls to dance, and guess who ends up coming back to the hotel with us that night lmao

next dayyyyy

oooh yes going to see the greek ruins, and there are a tonnn of alleys and stairs and stuff. so ofc you and ryan fall down them (and i by some miracle don’t). hehe you: ‘why tf am i always falling?’ him: ‘what about me tho lexi?’ you: ‘you’re a hockey player, it’s kind of in your job description’ and you guys keep fighting lmao, but ofc quinner helps you up 😍

and the chirpssss that would be going on all day lmaoooo ‘hey brigid, we heard you and jamie last night’ ‘oh fuck off, i saw a different girl come out of your room this morning cole. what are you doing, trying to go through every girl in mykonos by the time we leave?’

and then ofc sightseeing and taking lots of insta photos, and then we all go to get lunch together. imagine the people who have to serve our table, i feel sorry for them lol. and then we could just go back to the beach or smtg before dinner and then back to the hotel 😏

final thoughts

at some point lexi sees a really good tennis player and goes to get her picture taken and see if she can practice with them, and kesh and i being the good friends that we are chase after her to take the pictures lol. hehe and then lexi abandons us to go play tennis with them for the afternoon

ugggh this was amazing and i love it, i’m excited for another part of europe, i’m down with either bc both would be amazing

ly too 🥰 it was amazing, i was so happy to read it

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

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bwayfan25 · 4 years

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Special Treatment

I had a lot of fun with the one-shots this week, which has reminded me of some others that have been bouncing around my head.

* * *

Kerry locked the door to her office as her mind wandered away from the four Zoom calls on her schedule this afternoon to her upcoming socially-distanced lunch date with Susan (including the forbidden thrill of being in close proximity without masks on). But as she turned to start for the stairs, she nearly collided with someone in front of her who was most certainly not standing six-feet away.

“Annalise, I swear,” Kerry hissed, waving Annie back. “If you don’t abide by the guidelines, no one will.”

“But you’re in my bubble,” Annie argued (though she did step back). “I’m allowed to be close to you.”

“Not at work you’re not,” Kerry said firmly. “What do you want?”

“Something to do,” Annie said with a bit of a whine in her voice. “They’re announcing the new Chief Surgical Resident today, but I’ve run out of things to do to fill the time and keep myself busy until then.”

“You don’t have patients to look after?” Kerry asked, her brow furrowing.

“No,” Annie answered. “Because the mean lady who runs the hospital says we’re only allowed to do a limited number of elective procedures a day, and those slots are being filled by the residents who need to meet their quotas to advance to next year.”

At the words ‘mean lady who runs the hospital,’ Kerry gave Annie a look of exasperation that came through clearly even with a surgical mask obscuring half her face. At the same time, Susan drew even with them, her eyebrows raised in question.

“What’s going on?”

“Annie is going to hear about the Chief Resident position today,” Kerry informed her flatly. ��And she says she has run out of things to do to occupy her time until then.

“My brain won’t shut up,” Annie added, nodding in agreement.

“You should see a professional about that,” Susan offered. “And, honestly, Annie, it’s kind of your fault for going through the whole interview process instead of just walking up to an Attending, telling them you’ve heard they’re going to need a lot of help, and then asking when you start.”

Both redheads’ brows furrowed at the same time, albeit in different ways - Kerry’s in frustration and Annie’s in confusion.

“If I did that, I think Aunt Lizzie would slap me…. And I think I would want her to,” Annie stated in a tone just as confused as (what they could see of) her expression. “Who would actually do that? I mean… Who would do that and actually expect to get a job out of it?”

“Ask her,” Susan said, glancing in Kerry’s direction.

Annie followed Susan’s line of sight, her eyebrows rising.

“Wow.”

“That’s not what happened,” Kerry said, rolling her eyes.

“That’s not what Mark said,” Susan commented in a slightly sing-song voice (which only served to earn her a more annoyed look from her wife).

“Well, Mark was not the only person I talked to that day,” Kerry said with a huff.

Beside them, Annie let out a scoff.

“This just seals it, doesn’t it? Boomers could just walk in and demand jobs, but we Millennials actually have to earn them.”

“Oh, hush.”

Annie glanced at Susan, who, specifically to spite Kerry, gave a shrug of acknowledgement.

“Clearly, you don’t take enough initiative Annie,” Susan said with a slight shake of her head.

Annie considered this for a moment.

“I think if I took any more initiative, God would bap me on the nose with a newspaper and tell me to drop it.”

Susan let out a chuckle.

“I like the implication that God - you know, ruler of the Universe - occasionally has to chase you around the house, demanding to know what you’ve got in your mouth.”

“It’s true, she does!” Annie said sincerely. “Because She knows if She doesn’t, there’s a chance I’m going to yarp on the carpet.”

“That is disgusting,” Kerry said with a scowl.

“What, like you’ve never taken too much initiative and then yarped on the carpet?” Susan asked with a sideways glance.

“Stop saying the word ‘yarp,’” Kerry hissed to Susan before turning to look at Annie. “Go do your work.”

“I don’t have any. That’s why I came up here,” Annie whined. “So you would give me something to do.”

“You want me to give you something to do?” At Annie’s eager nod, Kerry nodded towards the door behind her and replied, “Fine. Clean my office.”

Annie stared for a moment before her brow furrowed.

“I meant give me work. Like… work work.”

“And we can revisit my giving you work work when my office is clean,” Kerry said in a tone of finality. “What? You asked me to give you something to do and I gave you something to do.”

Annie’s brow furrowed even further at the comment before she desperately glanced from one mother to the other, who did not prove any more supportive.

“Sorry, Annie, but you walked right into that one,” Susan said with a shrug. “What’s the rule?”

“‘I’m more likely to say yes if the house is clean,’” Annie replied with a scowl of her own. “But we’re at work. That doesn’t apply here.”

“It wouldn’t apply if you asked anybody else to give you something to do,” Kerry corrected. “But you did not ask anybody else. You asked me.”

Annie let out a huff.

“Just once when someone asks me if I get any special treatment because my mom’s the boss, I’d like the answer to be ‘yes,’” Annie said, her eyes narrowing.

“Honey, you do get special treatment,” Kerry said, her smirk evident in her voice. “I can’t ask anybody else to do that.”

#this is inspired by actual conversations with my own mother #mostly the 'i'm more likely to say yes...' part #and the taking initiative part #matriarchs au #kerry weaver #annie levin #Susan Lewis #nbc er #er fanfic #my fanfic

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tyto11 · 3 years

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Answer 17 Questions, Tag 17 People

this is from @feynavaley, thanks :)

Nickname: all the kids i play minecraft with call me Tyto. i’ve told them my real name they can call me by, they still call me Tyto :P

Zodiac: capricorn

Height: 5′7 and a lil bit

Hogwarts house: the cursory fuck JK, trans rights, however, strangely enough i have stopped being a slytherin. now every test i do gives me hufflepuff. something about me has changed enough that the tests churn out a different answer (the kids made me do em i plead the fifth)

Last thing googled: just the word “victuals”

Song stuck in my head: the past four days i have been listening to ONLY Sidney Gish’s albums “No Dogs Allowed” and “Ed Buys Houses”. buckets of fun has a bass line that slaps me into the sun

Lucky Number: 7, 11, 12 - i just like em tho

Dream job: honestly the dream is to not have to work, but really just a chill environment with chill people where i don’t have to worry about paying for stuff would be fantastic. realistically though? smth in the field of psychology

Wearing: pajamas. a big-ass sleep shirt that says “crazy cat lady” on it from my aunt, with a whole bunch of cats, and pajama pants from the thrift store that are very tacky (they’re printed to look like grey snake skin) but are extremely comfortable

Favourite author: i’m just gonna put people i like on ao3 - Haicrescendo, tirsynni, deniigiq. i haven’t read much neil gaiman or terry pratchet but i like the vibes and listened to some short stories on youtube they wrote

Favourite instrument: i’m uncertain if this is like, just an instrument i like or an instrument i play. favourite instrument to play is the piano, favourite instrument aesthetic wise is the accordian, favourite instrument to listen to is probably also the piano

Aesthetic: broke college student who just barely managed to get out of bed - slightly too-big hoodie over a t shirt that’s a lil cracked, black leggings or black sweatpants, hiking boots, face mask with constellations on it. in the summer, same thing but with a seven dollar jean jacket from the thrift store with a lotta pins in it. if i’m at home, it’s pajama pants and sleep shirt with my purple university hoodie thrown over top, and fuzzy socks. i’m always at home nowadays. the hoodie’s getting pills

Favourite song: i don’t really have one? things still left to say by Mal Blum puts a hand on my soul and asks if i’m okay and says “me neither”, but right now New Recording 180 (New Year’s Eve) by Sidney Gish is making me feel things, and i could listen to it for hours. it wraps an arm around my shoulders, gently, while i sit, and lets gravity pull us together, side-to-side. we sit together, and if either of us cry the other doesn’t say anything. outside the window, the sun rises. we breathe each other’s air and let the silence speak for us.

Favourite animal noise: cats purring :) oh sweet baby, rumblin’ with love, bless your soul forever.

Random: i’m hungry because it’s past my usual lunch time so i’m gonna go eat after this - we got chinese new year leftovers in the fridge

———

i do not know 17 people on or off of tumblr, holy mother, but @abottleofstars @ineffablekilljoy @wulfhugg if this is smth that you’d wanna do feel free, if not no sweat, if someone sees this and wants to do it go ahead!

#tyto stuff #tag chain

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

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⍚ HaikWeek!! 2020 ⍚ Day 3 (Karasuno) Haikstore

📑 Table of Contents | « Previous Day

Genre: Friendship, Crack, Slice of Life, AU

Word Count: 3,442

Pairing: Reader, Karasuno / Reader x Ennoshita

World: Haikyuu!!

Prompt: Favorite Team + Crossover/AU

Author’s Note: Here is the next entry for @haikyuuweek2020~ This fic is based off of the show, Superstore, and I’m loving this AU.

━━━━━━༻⍚ 🏐 HaikWeek!! 2020 🏐 ⍚༺━━━━━━

You felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned away from the paper towels you had been stacking, turning to look at Kiyoko. “What’s up?”

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “There are two men here with applications. I put them in your office and asked them to wait.”

“Thank you. Can you finish this for me?”

“Of course.”

You gave her a smile before heading back into the office. You were the assistant store manager for Haikstore – a superstore that offered pretty much everything a person could ever need. When you pushed open the office door, you found two men in each other’s face, lightning between them as they glared at one another.

You cleared your throat, but they chose that moment to start yelling at each other.

“Why the hell are you here?” asked the orange-haired boy.

The navy-haired boy scoffed. “I was here first so get lost!”

“Not a chance! I’m going to be the ace of this store!”

“Hah? You, an ace? No chance!”

You cleared your throat loudly and the two boys snapped their narrowed eyes to you. When they realized who you are, they straightened their backs, their arms stiff at their sides as they clutched their resume.

“Are the two of you done?” you questioned, quirking a brow.

“Yes, sorry!”

“You’re both looking for a job, right? Any specific position in mind?” You settled down behind the desk, motioning for them to have a seat which they did, but not without glaring at each other.

“I want to be the ace!” declared the orange-haired boy, slapping his resume onto the desk. The determination in his eyes took you by surprise.

“We… don’t have an ace here,” you rubbed the back of your neck. “That sounds more like something on a sports team rather than a job…”

The navy-haired boy snorted, earning a glare from the smaller boy but he paid him no mind, setting his own resume on the desk. “I’d like to work in the sporting goods section if possible.”

You nodded, reaching into the bottom drawer of the desk to pull out two blank nametags and a sharpie. “Your names are…?”

“Shouyou Hinata!”

“Tobio Kageyama.”

You scribbled down their first name onto the nametags before handing them over to their respective owners. “Please wear these at all times. You can grab a vest from the box behind you.”

“We’re… hired?” Tobio furrowed his brow as he looked down at his nametag.

“Yep!”

“We start now?” Shouyou questioned, already approaching the box and looking for one that would fit his small frame.

“Yep!”

“Don’t we have to be trained or something?” Tobio’s narrowed eyes landed on you but you weren’t paying attention to him as you headed back to the door.

“Nope. It’s super simple. Just patrol the store, keep your area maintained properly, and do what the management says and you’re golden. Oh, by the way – you’re both working the sporting goods section. Try not to fight in front of customers, okay?” You gave them a smile before turning around and leaving the room, leaving them both to stare after you.

You stifled a yawn as you headed toward the small café at the front of the store for lunch. There was only one other customer before you and they only ordered a coffee so it didn’t take long for you to step up to the counter.

“Afternoon, Y/N,” Asahi smiled kindly at you. “Would you like your usual?”

“Yes, please.” You pulled out your bank card from your wallet, waiting for her to ring up the order before you slid the card into the reader, entering your pin.

“Take a seat, I’ll bring it to you as soon as it’s done.”

“Thank you, Asahi.”

“Of course~!”

You returned his smile before taking a seat at one of the small tables near the counter. It felt nice to give your feet a break after having been on them for seven hours without a break but, like always, peace wasn’t often an option at Haikstore.

A large crash from the sports section had you jumping up and rushing toward the back of the store to discover the source of the noise. When you rounded the corner, you found Tobio and Shouyou on the ground, their brows furrowed in pain. Dozens and dozens of shoeboxes were littering the ground, their residents strewn about the floor.

“What the hell happened?” you demanded, hand on your hip.

“We were…” Tobio avoided your gaze, a sheepish cringe on his face. “…trying to stack the shoes.”

“I almost won, too!” Shouyou huffed, earning a smack from the boy beside him.

“Don’t tell them that, idiot!”

“Hah? But it’s true! You’re just mad because I was winning!”

“I’m mad because I want to keep this job!”

You sighed, feeling your temples throb as you brought your hand to your face. “Clean it up. Now.”

“Yes, Y/N-san!”

Shaking your head, you returned to the front where Asahi was setting down the personalized pizza and your boba tea. He sent you a curious look when you plopped down into the chair. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, just the new hires being… overzealous.”

He laughed softly. “They seem full of energy. Enjoy your break!”

“Thanks.” Just as you picked up a slice of the pizza to bring it to your mouth, the alarm on your phone started to chime, indicating the end of your lunch break. You groaned, letting your head fall to the table.

“Hey, Y/N!” Tanaka wriggled his eyebrows as he approached you, a large box in his hands. “Here’s the books you asked for.”

You rolled your eyes, taking the book from his hands before setting it by the display shelf you were working on. “I asked Kei to bring them, not you. You’re supposed to be monitoring the toy section to make sure the kids don’t get too rowdy.”

“Don’t worry, I asked Noya to check in for me! Kei wasn’t planning on bringing them anytime soon, he’s too busy making a new song,” he snickered. “So, you got plans this weekend?”

You sighed at the information, making a mental note to scold Kei again later on. You honestly weren’t in the mood for his endless flirting so you just lied. “Yes, I do.”

“With who?” he scowled, arms folded over his chest. “I bet you’d have way more fun with me!”

You deadpanned. “Go back to work, Tanaka.”

“Come on, Y/N~” he leaned against the display, wriggling his brows again. “I’m sensing some serious tension between – us – AHH!”

“Tanaka!” You cried when the display shelf tilted over, his arms flapping wildly as if he were trying to fly. The shelf hit the ground, the books skidding across the floor as his body fell on top of it with a groan. Your hand smacked against your forehead, sure to leave a red mark against your skin.

The P.A. system crackled as it came to life, followed by Noya’s panicked voice. “Y/N please come to the toy section, I – hey, stop that! Get back here!”

“This mess better be cleaned up by the time I get back or so help me,” you glared at the fallen boy before turning on your heel and jogging toward the toy section. The sound of kids screaming and squealing reached your ears, piercing your skull. They nearly ran into you when they rushed past, spraying silly string everywhere.

“Noya!” You called out, looking down each aisle as you went.

“Help!”

You rushed toward the sound of his voice, finding a group of children piled on top of him as his face was smooshed into the linoleum floor, hand in the air as if praying for help. “Hey, you brats! Get off of him right this instant!”

“Scatter!” One of them cried before they all jumped up, running in different directions.

“Noya! Are you okay?” you kneeled beside him, hand on his shoulder.

He slowly lifted his head and you noticed the imprint of a child’s foot in the center of his face, tears stinging at his eyes. “I never want kids, Y/N. They are monsters.”

You sighed, helping him to his feet.

“Excuse me!” came a high-pitched squeal from the end of the aisle. You turned your head, finding a heavyset older woman standing there, her hand on her hip as her small eyes narrowed. “Which one of you delinquents called my baby a brat?!”

Your eye twitched. “I’m sorry, miss, but your baby was attacking an employee.”

She huffed. “Well, maybe your employee shouldn’t be so weak! Being taken down by a child, how pitiful! Isn’t that right, Pookie?”

An ungodly sound, somewhere between a screech and a cock-a-doodle-do, echoed throughout the aisle and your eyes snapped to the bag on her shoulder, eyes widening as a rooster poked its head out, beady eyes narrowed at you.

“Ma’am, you can’t have a rooster in the store!”

“Ex~cuse me?” she huffed, stomping her foot. “I am legally allowed to have him with me at all times. Pookie is my emotional support rooster!”

For the millionth time that day, you smacked your hand against your forehead. “I don’t get paid enough for this,” you muttered under your breath, unclipping the walkie talkie from your belt, pressing on the button. “Daichi-san, come back.”

“What’s up, Y/N?” came his staticky voice over the walkie.

“There’s a woman in the toy section with a rooster.”

“It’s an emotional support animal!” she cried, but you ignored her, turning your back to her.

A sigh came through the walkie, this time from the store manager, Keishin. “Again? I thought I banned her last week.”

“You did,” Daichi confirmed. “Kazuhito, can you remove this woman from the property?”

“I’m on my way!”

“You can’t remove me!” she tried to grab your arm but Noya was quicker, smacking her hand away with a scowl.

“Keep your hands to yourself, lady!” He situated himself between the two of you until the rooster broke free of the bag, making loud screeching sounds as it tried to attack the short male. “Get away from me!!”

Your eye twitched as you watched him run from the aisle, the rooster nipping at his heels. The woman cried out in anguish, her arms flailing as she rushed after them, screaming about how her poor Pookie was too old for this even though he was the one causing the problem.

The walkie clicked in your hand, followed by Tanaka’s sheepish voice. “Uhh, Y/N? I kinda broke the shelf…”

You slammed your head against the metal shelf beside you, hearing the pitter-patter of children’s feet as they ran by behind you, laughing loudly as they sprayed silly string across the aisle and over your back.

You were walking down the aisle, making sure everyone was doing their job and that the customers didn’t need any help when you stopped to pick up a rolled-up blanket that had fallen off the shelf. While doing so, you happened to overhear two customers talking.

“Sis, you really need to stop coming to this store. The employees are so unprofessional.”

“Don’t be like that, Akemi,” the older girl giggled, waving off her sister. “They do the best they can!”

Akemi deadpanned. “You only say that because you think they are cute.”

“Yup! I mean, Kei-san from electronics, what a hunk!”

“He’s also terrifying!” she huffed in reply, folding her arms over her chest. “I just walked by and he was arguing with a customer. Full-on insulting him! Haven’t these people heard of ‘the customer is always right’?”

You held back a groan, speed walking toward electronics. As expected, Kei was standing behind the desk, glaring at the customer that stood across from him.

“I already told you that you can’t return it. I know you’re old but surely you understood it one of the dozen times I’ve said it,” Kei scoffed, folding his arms over his chest as he tilted his head back. “Or are you just stupid?”

Oikawa bristled at this, smacking his palm against the counter. “That is not how you talk to customers! Were you even trained?”

“No.”

“Well that explains a lot,” he huffed, swiping his bangs away from his forehead. “I want to speak to your manager.”

“They’re busy.”

You shot Kei a look as you approached, clearing your throat. “Is there a problem?”

“Yes! This boy clearly needs to learn how to deal with customers,” Oikawa’s sharp eyes landed on you. “If he can’t be nice, he shouldn’t be behind the counter.”

“I was nice,” Kei retorted. “But people tend to get annoyed after repeating the same thing over and over to idiots that don’t understand.”

“Kei,” you warned him. “Why don’t you take care of the growing line while I deal with this, yeah?”

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, shifting to the other register and waving over the next customer.

You offered the male a patient smile. “Will you please tell me what the issue is?”

Oikawa pushed an opened product across the counter toward you. It was a portal gaming console. “I need to return this. I purchased it last week for my nephew and it worked fine at first but then it suddenly stopped. We’ve charged it for hours and nothing happens. It’s clearly defective.”

“Last week,” you mused, reaching behind the counter for a stack of papers by the register. “May I see your receipt?”

“I didn’t keep it. Surely you can just look it up, yes?”

“I certainly can,” you stepped around the counter, ignoring Kei’s pointed look as he rang up the next customer’s items. “Your name, please?”

“Tooru Oikawa.”

“And do you have the card used to purchase this item?”

He pulled out his wallet, handing you over his shiny black card. “Here.”

“Thank you, sir,” you entered the information into the computer, pulling up the transaction. “Oh, you bought this on sale.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“I’m sorry but all transactions are final if they are purchased during a sale. It stated this on the sale sign and in the ad.” You handed his card back and exited out of the transaction window.

“So there’s nothing you can do?”

“How many times do you need to be told?” Kei scoffed, sending him an exasperated sigh.

“Nobody asked you.”

“If you’d like, I can take a look at the console and see if I can find out what’s wrong with it.”

“Go for it.”

You carefully pulled the console from its box, inspecting it for any damage but it was as good as new. You tapped the power button, waiting a moment to see if it would turn on before turning to Kei. “Can you hand me a power cord, please?”

Kei set the bag down on the counter before leaning down to pull the black cord from the plastic tub, handing it over to you. You plugged it into the surge protector before plugging it into the console, checking for the charging light but there was none. With a hum, you flipped the console over, grabbing the small screwdriver from the drawer beside you before taking out the screws.

“Oh, there’s a screw missing.”

“Is there?” Oikawa leaned forward, blinking down at the console.

“Was it like this when you bought it?”

“I don’t think so,” he cupped his chin, closing his eyes as he thought back to when he had first opened the box. “I’m positive that it had them all.”

You carefully removed the back of the console and noticed a strange green substance leaking out from beneath the battery. Your brow furrowed and you used the top of the screwdriver to lift up the battery. A thick green goop was connecting it to the inside of the console, stretching like string cheese as you lifted it up.

Oikawa blinked. “That’s not normal…”

“Not at all…” you sweatdropped. “What is this stuff?”

“It’s slime,” Kei commented, earning a curious look from you. He shrugged in response, turning his gaze back to the items he was scanning. “My older brother was obsessed with slime videos for like a month.”

“I see,” you cleared your throat. “Well, I’m no expert but I believe if you clean the slime off and purchase a new battery, it might work again. It’s worth a try instead of taking it directly to the shop to be fixed.”

“I’ll give that a try. Thank you so much!” Oikawa smiled brightly at you as you screwed the cover back on before setting it back in its box. “Have a good day.”

“You too, gramps,” Kei snickered at the annoyed look sent his way.

Chikara stepped into the backroom to clock out for the day, his eyes landing on you as you unpacked the boxes that had just been dropped off. He scanned the room, finding it empty before he leaned against the doorframe, a soft smile upon his lips.

“Isn’t that a bit below your pay grade?”

You glanced up at him, returning the smile he offered. “A bit, yes, but it’s relaxing. After the day I’ve had, it’s nice to just deal with boxes.”

He hummed softly as he came to stand behind you, his hands gently massaging your shoulders. “Today was pretty rough on you, huh? Things seem to have gotten even crazier since you hired those two in the sports department.”

You sighed, leaning into his touch as you closed your eyes, enjoying the way his hands gently kneaded your flesh. “The employees at Haikstore have always been a bit on the crazy side, but ever since those two stepped through the door, it seems as if everyone’s insanity has shot through the roof. Are they having some competition I don’t know about?”

“Not that I’ve heard,” his hands slowly slid down your arms before coming to rest on your waist, his chin on your shoulder. “You get off soon, right? I’ll wait for you.”

“Not for another hour,” you turned in his hold, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I can’t ask you to spend more time here than you already do. Go on home, I’ll see you there.”

“You sure? I don’t mind a little overtime as long as you’re there.” His eyes danced with amusement as his thumbs rubbed circles in your skin, his body slowly beginning to sway to music only he could hear.

Your body followed his movements, fingers curling around the hair at the nape of his neck. “I can’t pay you. At least not with money.”

“I guess you’ll just have to pay me with a date this weekend,” he murmured against your lips, making you chuckle in reply.

“Hmm, I don’t know~”

“What if I sweeten the deal with unlimited kisses?” he quirked a brow, pressing his lips against yours softly. You hummed, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. His hands slid under your shirt, fingers brushing against your bare sides as he backed you up against the pallet of unboxed fruit juices.

So wrapped up in each other, neither of you realized that the doors had swung open, Noya and Tanaka stepping into the room.

“Hey, Y/N! We finally caught -” Noya stopped short, his eyes widening as you and Chikara separated, trying to act casual.

Tanaka smacked the sides of his face. “Inappropriate workplace touching!”

“What? Where?!” Koushi appeared behind them, brandishing a broom over his head. “Section eight, code six-four-five-five states that relationships between employees is strictly forbidden!”

You exchanged a sheepish look with Chikara who rubbed the back of his head with a nervous chuckle. You cleared your throat, holding your hands up as a bead of sweat rolled down your cheek. “It’s just a misunderstanding! The boxes were falling and Chikara caught them before they could land on me.”

Koushi’s eyes shifted between the two of us before he nodded, a bright grin on his face as he draped the broom across his shoulders. “Thanks for looking out for our Y/N, Chikara! You’re off the clock, aren’t you? Section five, code nine-five-nine states that no worker can have over time unless it’s the holiday season.”

“Right… I was just about to clock out.” Chikara sent you a look before disappearing into the office.

“And you two, get back to work!” Koushi ordered, sending a scary smile to the two boys. They sent you suspicious looks before scurrying from the room. “Can I give you a hand with these boxes, Y/N?”

“Uhh, yeah, sure… thanks, Koush.”

“Any time,” he smiled kindly, setting the broom down before getting to work unpacking the boxes. You could only bite back a sigh and join him.

━━━━━━༻⍚ 🏐 HaikWeek!! 2020 🏐 ⍚༺━━━━━━

» Next Day

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searchingwardrobes · 4 years

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The Convenient Groom: 1/?

Okay, I know what ya’ll are all thinking, and I agree: I don’t need another WIP! However, I woke up this morning with this idea, and I just had to write it. What’s more, I was looking for the perfect gift for @spartanguard. You see, I missed her birthday last year. I got on tumblr, saw all these birthday wishes for her, and my heart sank. For some reason, I didn’t have her birthday on my list! I hated it because not only is she one of my favorite writers, but she is also an incredibly kind person who I have come to know as a wonderful fandom friend. So, @spartanguard, I know it isn’t your birthday, but this fic is for you!

This fic has two inspirations: one, the Barenaked Ladies song “Alternative Girlfriend,” but mostly it’s a book I read called The Convenient Groom by Denise Hunter. I normally avoid book aus because it feels way too close to plagiarism, but a Hallmark movie was made from the book and it was a HUGE disappointment. They made it an engagement of convenience instead of a marriage and basically got rid of all the steamy moments. It’s been forever since I read it, anyway, and this first chapter that came to me this morning has vast differences already. Anyhoo, I hope you like it @spartanguard !

Summary: (Is one even necessary? Haha!) Killian Jones just happens to be there when Emma Swan gets the phone call that changes everything: her fiance is leaving her at the altar. The thing is, it also could mean the end of her career. Convenient that Killian has nothing better to do that day. Convenient that he’s secretly in love with her. Not that Emma has to know that.

Rating: M

Words: 2,000 and some change in this chapter

Also on Ao3

Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @distant-rose @welllpthisishappening @optomisticgirl @ohmakemeahercules @teamhook @bethacaciakay @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @delirious-latenight-laughs @resident-of-storybrooke @vvbooklady1256 @thislassishooked @hollyethecurious @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @stahlop @snidgetsafan @scientificapricot @shireness-says @spartanguard @wellhellotragic @tiganasummertree @branlovestowrite @let-it-raines @carpedzem @profdanglaisstuff

Killian Jones would never forget the first day he met Emma Swan. He’d been focused intently on the rocking chair that the Nolans had ordered for their new baby, and AC/DC’s “Back in Black” was booming throughout his workshop. He always worked to classic rock; it put him in the best creative zone.

Suddenly, the shop was plunged into silence, and he straightened in surprise. Standing there, with the cord to his portable speakers dangling from her hand, was a veritable goddess with anger sparking from her light green eyes. She was dressed in a simple pair of dark wash jeans topped with a cream blouse, yet her trim figure still drew his eyes. He’d never had a thing for blondes, but her golden hair had him re-thinking that. She had caught him so completely off guard, he stood there gaping like a mere boy.

“I’ve got a client upstairs trying to pour her damn heart out, but I can barely hear myself think with this noise rattling the walls.”

Ah, so this was the new tenant in the office upstairs. Killian smirked and sauntered into her personal space. “Well, love, I’ve been told I’m rather good at rattling the walls.”

He hardly knew what had possessed him to say such a thing. Before Milah, he was well known for his charms, but that had been years ago.

The blonde narrowed her eyes at his innuendo, though the blush upon her cheeks sent a far different message. “Not your love, buddy.” She tossed the cords at his chest, and one of them slapped him in the jaw. “Get yourself some damn earbuds.”

She strode towards the door, her high heeled boots tapping loudly on the concrete floor. “It’s Killian Jones, by the way,” he called out after her, “Ms . . . “

“Emma Swan,” she tossed over her shoulder, “and it’s doctor.”

He saw her often after that. It was difficult not to. Storybrooke was a small town, and they shared office space, after all. Their building on Main was also right across the street from Granny’s diner, the only place for a decent cup of coffee and a cheeseburger. Or grilled cheese and onion rings in Swan’s case. They’d crossed paths during their lunch break often enough for him to know her regular order. Yet to say Emma Swan had walls was an understatement, and just casual conversation was a challenge. One he had a rather enjoyable time tackling, honestly.

Yet she never came into his wood shop again. Until one day six months ago, to put in an order. She had stood there in his lobby where he met with clients and rough sketched their custom orders looking uncharacteristically nervous, her hands twisting at her waist. He had noticed the diamond sparkling on her left ring finger early on, and she fiddled with it now. He had never met the man who had given it to her, which he had always thought was odd. Especially considering how passionate Emma was about her career. Even stranger, Mary Margaret had never met him either, and Emma rented the loft from her and David. No one even knew the man’s name. Something was off about that, if you asked Killian. Not that anyone would.

“Can you make a wedding chuppa?” she blurted out.

“Aye,” he said as he leaned against the front counter, “I made one for Marco and Granny when they wed last fall.”

“Good,” Emma breathed out, but then her forehead creased with worry. “Marco’s Jewish, isn’t he? Is it okay to use a chuppa if you aren’t Jewish?”

“Hmmm,” Killian contemplated, rubbing at his chin, “is your fiance Jewish?”

“No,” Emma said with a shake of her head, “but we’re getting married outside, and I wanted some sort of focal point, you know?”

“Well, then,” he told her honestly, “I do think a chuppa has religious significance, so maybe an arbor or archway would be more appropriate? I’ve done those as well . . . “

He had come around the counter then and led her to the sitting area where he brainstormed with clients. He had shown her photos of an arbor he had made for his friends Eric and Ariel’s beach wedding, and several other options online. He found out many things that day: the location of the wedding (the gardens behind the old mansion on the outskirts of town), the flowers (middlemist roses), the color scheme (pale pink and wine red), and the date of the nuptials (late June). Yet he still didn’t know who this mysterious fiance was. Odd.

“He doesn’t like the attention from my career,” Emma had attempted to explain, twisting her engagement ring around her finger, “and I get it. There would be a lot of scrutiny on him and our relationship.”

Killian nodded. Everyone knew about Dr. Swan’s bestseller Seriously, Ladies? which supposedly guided any woman on how to avoid disastrous relationships. Women swore by it, and Emma also had a blog and a podcast. The media was salivating over her upcoming marriage, including the identity of Mr. Right himself.

“And I need your discretion on this,” Emma continued. “The media doesn’t know the wedding date yet, and I -”

Killian placed his hand on hers. “You can trust me, Emma. I won’t tell a soul about this order, much less when or where it will be delivered.”

He had worried that his word wouldn’t be enough, yet Emma had deflated with relief. “Thank you. I know this is a weird situation.”

“You deserve happiness, Swan.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know that? You know nothing about me.”

Killian had shrugged. “You’re somewhat of an open book, love.”

It was true. Despite her confidence, he could recognize another wounded heart when he saw one. Whoever this fiance was, he wasn’t doing a very good job of healing it, either, at least in Killian’s opinion. Otherwise her eyes wouldn’t still hold that haunted look.

The order meant, for both good and bad, that Killian saw Emma Swan more often. It was good in that he got to know her better, saw her smile, heard her laugh. It was bad for one horrible, terrible reason. For him, at least. Six months was long enough for him to fall in love with her - the woman he was making a wedding arbor for.

Killian sighed, his heart twisting painfully, as he covered the gorgeous arbor of carved mahogany with a moving blanket. Today was the day. For him, it felt more like the day of a funeral than a wedding. This man, whoever he was, better love her the way she deserved. It was all he could hope for now.

“Killian, what the hell do you think you’re doing!” He whirled from the arbor to see Emma marching angrily across his workshop. The scowl on her face was identical to the one almost a year ago when he first met her. “Why did you send the moving crew away empty handed? Please tell me you finished it.”

“Of course I finished it, Swan,” he retorted, unable to keep the bite out of his voice. Wasn’t she supposed to be giddy, flushed with eagerness, floating on air? Instead, she looked so stressed he feared she might give herself a heart attack.

“Then why didn’t you send it to the mansion? Are you being difficult on purpose?”

Killian tilted his head and grinned saucily at her. He couldn’t help it, teasing her was just too much fun. “Though getting you riled up is rather fun, I wouldn’t do that to you on your special day. I just didn’t trust anyone but myself to deliver it.”

“Oh,” she said lamely, biting on her lower lip.

“I was just about to load it up, actually. Want to see it?”

“If it’s not too much trouble . . .”

“Of course not.”

He pulled the moving blanket off, revealing the dark wood with intricate carvings of flowers, vines, and swans. Though the occasion it celebrated tore at his heart, he had never put so much work into a piece. He poured the beauty of the woman it represented into every detail. Emma’s eyes lit up as she ran her hands over the woodwork. The caramel stain brought out the natural beauty of the wood, but it would also make the delicate blush of the roses pop once the florist draped the arbor with them.

“It’s beautiful, Killian,” she told him softly, “exactly what I told you I wanted. More, actually.”

“Thank you,” he managed to tell her around the sudden lump in his throat.

The moment was broken by the ringing of Emma’s phone. She fished it out of her jeans pocket and pressed it to her ear. Killian busied himself covering the arbor and preparing it for transport while Emma paced across his workshop.

“Walsh, are you insane?” he heard her snap, “Our wedding is only six hours away!”

Killian tried not to eavesdrop, but as he glanced Emma’s way, he saw her face grow pale.

“Seriously? You’re doing this to me now?” Though her voice was harsh, her body trembled as she sank to an empty crate next to the table saw.

Killian frowned. He didn’t like how this sounded.

“These are all things you could have told me yesterday!” Emma’s voice rose. “Or better yet, last week, last month.”

She glanced over at Killian, and her face turned bright red. She shifted so that her back was to him. She lowered her voice as she spoke into her phone, but Killian still heard her.

“Is there someone else?”

Killian’s jaw clenched as he saw her shoulders fall and then begin to shake. The bastard.

Her voice was broken as she choked out her next words. “Well I hope you’re very happy together.”

She hung up and dropped her cell phone. Killian winced as it hit the cement floor. She covered her face with both hands and wept silently. He crossed the room and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What am I going to do?” she wept. “Oh, God! What am I going to do?” She turned to Killian, her eyes wide and frantic as she clutched at the front of his shirt. “We invited the media to the wedding! It was the only way to keep them from hounding us during our engagement. Now they’ll get an even better story - relationship guru Dr. Emma Swan gets jilted at the altar. I’m ruined! My career is over!”

She was on her feet, pacing the floor, tugging at the ends of her hair. He wanted to tell her she was overreacting, but he couldn’t lie. In this day and age of cancel culture and internet trolls, she would be ruined.

“You’re going to think I’m an opportunist,” she continued, “but my wedding day was also going to be the kick off for my next book. Tomorrow they’re announcing it’s release.”

“I’m not judging you, Swan,” he assured her. “What’s the new book?”

“Ladies, It’s More Than a Wedding,” Emma said sheepishly, “about how to plan for your marriage and not just the wedding.”

Emma groaned and dropped her head against the nearest wall. Killian was silent for a long moment, rolling an idea around in his head. She might shoot him down, call him crazy, but it was worth a shot.

“No one knows who your fiance is, right?”

She looked at him curiously. “No.”

“So . . . couldn’t anyone stand in for him?”

Emma’s mouth dropped open. “Are you crazy? Once the media knew it was a farce, things would be even worse. I have interviews lined up already. A promotion tour for the book. It’s about more than just the wedding.” She barked out a laugh. “Isn’t that ironic?”

Killian leveled her with a steady gaze. “What if it wasn’t a farce?”

She blinked. “You mean . . . like, actually marry someone else? Today?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.”

Emma let out another sarcastic chuckle. “Who the hell would agree to that?”

Killian wet his lips nervously. “I would.”

Emma shook her head in surprise. “You?”

He shrugged. “Well, I’m here, and I have nothing better to do today.”

“We’re talking about getting married, Killian. You know, commitment? Till death do us part?”

“Well,” Killian said slowly, shoving his hands in his jean pockets, “you need to stay married to promote your book, right? What are we talking? Six months? A year, at most?”

Emma’s brow furrowed as if she were contemplating it. But then she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m even considering this! It would never work! How would it look if I got divorced in a year?”

“Or an annulment. You could blame it on me. I cheated on you or something. Make me out to be the bad guy.” He chuckled sardonically. “You might even get another best seller out of it. Dump His Cheating Ass, Ladies.”

He managed to get a real laugh out of her at that, and he smiled. Her mirth was short-lived, however. “But why would you do that? Tie yourself to me for a year, let your own reputation be damaged? What’s in it for you?”

I’m in love with you.

“I could use your help. With my family. Professional help.”

Emma narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Okaaay. How so?”

“My brother and his wife. Their marriage is a little rocky.” LIe. Liam and Elsa were relationship goals if he ever saw it. “I think it’s because her sister Anna and her husband Kristoff had to move in with them.” Another lie. They had moved in, but no two sisters were closer than Anna and Elsa.

“So why don’t they just make an appointment?”

“They, uh, have this thing about therapy. They think it’s a sign of weakness. Or an embarrassment. Anyway, but if you were around, you could casually help them out. I think you and Elsa would hit it off.”

“So you want to marry me in exchange for free counseling for your brother and his wife?”

She sounded skeptical, and naturally so. He tried to play it off. “My brother means everything to me. He’s all the family I have left. Plus, my niece and nephew deserve a steady home life, unlike what we had as kids.”

Emma and Killian just stood there looking intently at one another. He held his breath, fully expecting her to call him crazy and walk out the door. Her gaze darted to the arbor, now ready to be loaded onto the trunk.

“It would be a shame not to use that beautiful piece you made.”

Killian tried to hold back his smile and failed. “Consider it my wedding gift to my bride.”

“Okay, groom,” she told him with her hand outstretched for him to shake, “it’s a deal.”

#cs ff #cs modern au #cs marriage of convenience #the convenient groom #for spartanguard #on her birthday

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tnystrk-exe · 4 years

Text

we both know how this song ends

Jack Daniels x Reader

Masterpost

Warnings: Emotional/Physical abuse, mentions of suicide, death. Starts in high school. Each chapter is roughly 4k

Chapter One

The buzzing of your alarm clock woke you away. Mind still fuzzy, you slapped a hand on it to turn it off. Finally, school was starting up and you wouldn’t have to hear about how much of a waste you were from your mom and her newest boyfriend.

Since your father had died, your mom kinda lost it. One day she was normal and the next… Well she just wasn’t her anymore. Your dad was her everything and you just weren’t enough to keep her sane. It had been hard to deal with losing both of your parents at once. Sometimes, you weren’t sure which was worse.

Your father was gone and that had been painful. But your mother was here and she couldn’t even look at you unless she was angry. At first you had tried, you really did. You cleaned the house. Made her dinner. Showed her all of your accomplishments. It was never enough for a smile. No. The laundry wasn’t done. The food was too salty. Jessica’s daughter did better than that. So, you stopped. After a while you learned your lesson.

Not too long after that came the men. Some would come for weeks. Others minutes. Never particularly long enough to know them other than angrily traded words. You stayed locked up in your room or out of your house as much as possible.

Sighing, you forced yourself to start the day. Grabbing a shirt and pants you threw them on before slipping on your shoes. You glanced at your hiding spot. This new guy had gotten your mother into pawning your stuff and looting around your room for money for his fix lately. The money hidden under your bed would be found quickly, no doubt. Sighing you went to grab it and placed it in your backpack. It would be better if you just started to keep your valuables close.

Shouldering your bag you walked out of the small room. It seemed like your dad left and everything good with him. The house was sold, one income meant goodbye home sweet home. Your mother had blown the money so quickly in her depression? Anger? You weren’t quite sure what to call it. So you moved into a shabby too close together apartment in the middle of Who Knows Where, USA. No trace of the good, old times in sight. That is other than the box of old family pictures the newest one had his dirty work boots propped on top of.

“Hey, kid, where’s the fucking rent?” He asked, already smoking his first cigarette of the day.

“Take your fucking feet off of that.”

He lifted his foot, slamming it back down. The crunch of the glass angering you instantly. “What are you going to do about it?”

You balled your fist. Soon you’d be out. Soon it wouldn’t matter. Soon this whole life would be behind you. “Fuck you, Steve,” you scoffed in disgust.

He laughed at your retreating form. “If that’s how you want to pay your rent that’s fine. Bet you’re better at it than your mom anyway.”

Red flag noted. No being alone with that creep.

You started cycling to the school. Of course you got to be new in your last year. Just your luck. The small town could have been really cute, that is if your personal life hadn’t soured the experience. It was a big change from the city life you had been used to. The air was fresher and it was way quieter than anywhere else you had ever been.

Maybe it would have been nice if you hadn’t felt so alone all the time. So much had changed in seven months. Hopefully, in another seven they would change for the better. You weren’t sure just how long you could keep going like this. It was getting to be too much already.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. No use in being a baby about it. This was your life and it would have to be for just a little while longer. There was a banner across the school’s entrance that read welcome class of ‘91. Just this one year and you’d go to college somewhere far from your mother and her new life.

You left your bike at the rack and went to follow the mass. Most people were walking toward the cafeteria. Others were already flocking into their cliques, which made you miss your own all the more when you heard their laughter and inside jokes. When you finally made your way into the crowded cafeteria, you made your way to the senior lines.

“Hello, there pretty lady,” greeted a guy with a god awful start to a mustache.

You nodded, “Hey.”

“I haven’t seen you around here, I’d like to think I woulda remembered seeing an angel.”

“Jackie boy!” Someone called out from behind you, “I already called dibs on that piece.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. Just one year.

“Name miss?”

“YN LN.”

The teacher started looking through her files. When she finally found it, she handed you a thick folder of papers. “Your schedule and locker number are on the first page. The rest is everything your parents need to sign and information on your graduation ring and gown. Your teachers should give you all the books you need as you see them.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

You left the cafeteria and started an attempt at looking for your locker. “Where do I even start?” you muttered under your breath.

The sound of boots behind you and a tap on the shoulder made you turn around. “Look, I’m sorry about Eric. He’s a dick. He likes to say stupid shit like that.”

“We’ll call it even if you help me find my locker,” you offered. “For Eric and that awful line.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” he nodded as he took your folder and took a look at your schedule. “Looks like I got lucky. Yours is across from mine. If you want I can show you the way around.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“So what brought you over here?” He signaled you to follow him as he asked.

“Something’s changed recently,” you shrugged, “New start. You always lived here?”

“Born. Raised. Hopefully, this won’t end here.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got so much more to see than this small town.”

He laughed, “What’s the outside world like darlin’.”

“You wouldn’t believe it. There’s people that don’t all exclusively wear flannels and Stentons. Buildings and crowds as far as the eye could see.”

“I’m getting the heebies jus’ thinkin’ about it, he shuddered for added effect, “Name’s Jack Daniels.”

“Your parents do realize-“

“Yeah. Mom had to talk dad down from Daniel Daniels. Let’s just call this one a win. What’s yours? I wanna judge your parents' choices too.”

“YN LN.”

“Damn. That’s actually kinda cute. I’ll let that mouth of yours slide just this once.” He stopped and pointed to a locker and then another, “Yours. Mine. First days here are usually just ice breakers. I’d recommend just bringing a pencil, paper, and your backpack for today. Your path doesn’t cross your locker until you hit fourth period. Go put some of your things up and I’ll walk you around.”

You nodded and had done as he said. Honestly, you hadn’t thought you’d find someone you’d be so comfortable with this early. But Jack had seemed kind enough, so you’d roll with it and see where it went. He showed you throughout the school, making sure to show you short cuts you could take for your classes. It wasn’t too long before he ended the trip at your first period class.

“Well, this is where we end. Is my debt paid off?”

“Yeah, it is. We’re all squared up.”

“Then sweetie pie, I hope I’m lucky enough to see you around.”

You laughed, “How many of those are you going to try?”

He shrugged, “I’m a fan of Pretty Lady. Can’t promise I won’t try out more.” Jack turned heel and walked off to his own class.

Part of you berated yourself for not comparing schedules when you had the chance. He had been the first real interaction you had had in awhile. Even more if you had to admit it, other than the ‘stache he was easy on the eyes.

It wasn’t until you met Vanessa in second period that you stopped thinking about him. Maybe you weren’t so infatuated and just missed having company.

“Let me see your schedule?”

You handed it over. “Any matches?”

“Lunch and seventh period. You should have fifth period with my Jack.” You could have sworn she sighed lovingly. “Well, he doesn’t know he’s my Jack, but he will be.”

“Ah... Jack Daniels?”

“Yeah,” another sigh and a doped up look, “You’ve met him already?”

“Yep, he walked me around the school in the morning.”

“He’s always a gentleman.”

Okay, Vanessa probably wouldn’t be an exactly close friend. Not because of Jack, but she just seemed like the type that crushed on people too hard for your liking. Nice girl, couldn’t deny that. Pretty soon you knew a decent amount. She had a crush on Jack since the beginning of first grade. He worked on her family’s farm during the summer and one time he even winked at her when her daddy wasn’t looking.

The bell rang and your icebreaker bingo was thrown in the trash.

It was still a surprise when Jack looked around the class in fifth period and caught you with a big smile. “Well, wouldn’t you look at that!” He sauntered over toward you, “It looks like you and me have chemistry lil’ miss.”

“Not as much as you and Vanessa,” you joked.

He took the seat next to you, condemning himself to be your partner for the rest of the year. “I promise, I’m not her Jack.”

“Mmm, you sure you just don’t know it yet?”

“I’m certain. She’s a good girl, but she’s just not for me. I got grass in my eye a while ago and she thought I sent a wink her way. Vanessa wouldn’t stop making eyes at me the rest of the summer. I dunno, she may just be too clingy for my taste.”

You patted his back. “Good luck. She’s got it bad.”

“I know, she’s stuck on me being her first kiss.”

“You were her first kiss?”

“And she was mine. It was a little kiddie school play. She was a princess and I was a frog.”

“It couldn’t be any more obvious. Got any pictures I can make fun of?”

“You can stop by mine sometime. I’ll show you. Speaking of, what are your plans after school?”

You shook your head, “I don’t really have any.” You were embarrassed to admit that you were gonna ride around town and avoid going home as long as you could.

“Great. There’s this burger place, best milkshakes in the town. Also the only place you can get one but that’s beside the point. If you don’t mind hanging out that is.”

“No, um, that sounds really nice.”

“Me and you after school. It’s a plan.”

After school, Jack put your bike in the back of his blue Chevy and drove you to the best shake spot in town. He had made you laugh and smile more than you had in a long time. You almost pitied Vanessa for not grabbing his attention. Jack really did seem like a great guy. Too bad you’d probably leave and he’d stay here. The conversation stayed light. You didn’t want to get to the poor girl with the sad life pity party yet. For now, he gave you a sense of normalcy that you wanted to hold onto for a while longer.

That was until it was time to go home.

“You can leave me here.”

“What? No, I can take you down the street.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “My mom’s real strict, J. If you drop me off, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Okay, fine. Can I pick you up for school? You’re on my way anyhow.”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“6:30 sharp,” he said with a tone that left no room for argument, “Then, just maybe, we’ll be able to get some decent breakfast.” You went to get out the car and he followed after, taking your bike back out for you. “If she’s so strict you should probably keep bringing your bike. I don’t want you to get an earful on my account. See you tomorrow.”

You started to walk your bike down the street. When you started to put your bike up is when you noticed the old truck start to drive away. It made your heart flutter a bit with how much this still stranger cared about you. The feeling of it didn’t last long when you looked at the apartment door. Steeling yourself you walked in.

“And where have you been you little bitch?” Your mother asked, instantaneously. “Whoring around no doubt.”

“You know what they say,” you shrug, “the apple doesn’t fall far.”

You couldn’t react with how quickly she got in your face. Her nails dug into your jaw as she made you look at her. “Don’t disrespect me. I’m your mother.”

“I remember a time you liked me.” You don’t know why you said it, but it had just fallen out. The part of you that still wanted answers no doubt.

“You’re just a burden and a disappointment,” she scoffed, disgusted by the idea. “You know, YN, I bet you’re the reason your dad killed himself.”

Tears blurred your vision but you didn’t let them fall. “Take it back.”

“What? Are you going to cry?” Her alcohol laced breath wafted into your face, “Daddy killed himself and mommy doesn’t love you anymore. Does the little baby want to cry?”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.”

Her hand slammed heavily against your face. For a split second she looked surprised, but it was gone in an instant. “Go to your fucking room and don’t come out.”

No need to be told twice. You went to your room and locked the door behind yourself. With a shaky breath you sent your backpack down and went to look in a mirror. Wincing at the damage.

“Let’s see if you’ll think twice about opening that fat mouth,” you heard your mother yell into the house.

Just a few months, you could make it. Things would get better.

The next morning, you woke up and instantly went to check your face. God, you could have cried the second you saw the ugly bruised skin. What would Jack say? You tried so hard to keep this all quiet just to be ruined the next day. Grabbing whatever was closest, you changed and got ready for the day. Still checking yourself in the mirror every so often hoping that somehow it would go away.

You didn’t even throw a comment to Steve on the couch this morning. Didn’t do anything at another of his lewd comments. Something about being open to a blowjob from that pretty little mouth.

It was like you were in auto pilot. Just kept walking with your head down, bike in tow. You didn’t realize how far you had walked until you heard Jack’s increasingly familiar engine.

“I know you said your mom was strict, but you could have given me a warning you wanted to get picked up this far out,” Jack said, the truck crawling along the road beside you. “YN?”

“Hm, sorry,” you got yourself back into the real world, “It’s okay. It’s a nice day out. I feel like walking some.”

“That’s nonsense,” he protested, jumping out from the truck and walking to you, “Just, lemme load her up and- What happened to you?” You flinched when his hand came up to your face, but it was much gentler than last time it happened, “I wouldn’t hurt you sugar. Ever. Tell me what happened.” His thumb stroked your jaw as soft as possible as he tried to comfort you.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Jack.” You pulled away from his hand. “I just want to get past all of this. Please?”

“Was it because of me?” It made sense to him, you got home late, maybe his cologne had lingered on you since the truck was so small.

You shook your head, “Things were tense long before you. You’re not even in the cards.”

“How are you feeling about school?”

“I don’t think so, not with this,” you motioned at the forming bruise, “It’s just going to get worse.”

“Tell you what. We’ll pick up some make up, so you can feel more comfortable with it being covered up. Then we’ll go do who knows what together. Okay? You and me.”

He put your bike into the truck and helped you into the car. At the store he dealt with the disproving look from the cashier. What was he supposed to say? Oh that wasn’t from me. This was a small town after all. It wouldn’t matter what he’d say. Word spread as fast as fire. Soon everyone would know about the Daniels boy going around with a strange new girl. Keep your girls safe, the bruise on her cheek looked especially horrible.

Jack handed the money over and grabbed then he grabbed the bag. Grabbing your hand in his, he took you back to the truck. You had entered this calm daze. Not really speaking, just doing as he asked.

“Would ya mind staying at my house?” He hadn’t bothered to add that you needed to rest. With a shake of your head he started up the old truck and went home.

The home was nice. Classic American if anything. Two stories, baby blue with white trim, and a white fence. Not all white you noted. There were pink, blue, and yellow hand prints on the door. Mom, dad, and Jack were fading words underneath them. Your family had had something similar with a height wall, though little you never quite caught on that your parents never changed much.

“It’s really pretty, Jack.”

“Thank you, darlin’. My dad would appreciate it more than anyone. He built it when mom and him got engaged.”

“That sounds really sweet.”

“I’m hopin’, one day I get to do the same. C’mon. Meet my old girl Bess.” He nodded for you to follow him up the path. Jack patted his thigh, “She’d never been the best at hunting. But she is a lovely girl.”

The old bloodhound stood to nuzzle it’s head into his thigh when he reached the porch, before going over to give you the same treatment. “Hi, Bess,” you scratched behind her ear.

“She likes you. She’s not very fond of strangers. Let’s get on inside and I’ll make us all some breakfast. You’re welcome to look around.”

The inside of the home was modest enough. You could have sworn the place smelled of freshly baked cookies. Jack immediately made a beeline for the kitchen. Which left you and Bess alone in the front room. You took the time to look at the pictures that had been placed around the living room as Bess made herself cozy on the couch.

Jack smiling a wide smile, with what you assumed was his first tooth he lost, held out proudly to the camera. An older picture of his parents kissing on their wedding day. The woman holding Jack, looking tired but relieved to see her son. Another of Jack sitting in his dad’s lap in the same truck he had brought you home in. The pictures were sweet but they made your heart clench horribly. They reminded you of a life you didn’t get to have anymore. That was enough to let loose the tears you had been reluctant to let fall.

You tried to keep your sobs down, but Jack noticed all the same. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and he led you to the couch. “Talk to me, sweetheart. I can’t help you the way you need if I don’t know…”

So you spilled it all, every single detail. How your father had left and didn’t even leave a reason. Not even a note. You hadn’t been worth a note. There wasn’t any way to find any clues with everything gone. Your mother’s spiral downward. The ever revolving door of men. The growing fear that maybe she’d start to depend on drugs as much as the alcohol. “She’s never laid a hand on me. That was the first time and for a second, Jack, I thought she was back, but then she got buried up again. She’s right there, but she’s so fucking far. And I want to be angry. More than anything. But I’m just so depressed. I don’t know, maybe it was me, maybe I am the reason he killed himself like she said.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Slow that down,” he grabbed a cloth and wiped away your tears, “I don’t know much about your father, but you couldn’t have been the reason. Your mom is just spouting bullshit because she’s angry at the world. Taking it out on you is a shit thing to do. You deserve so much better.”

You gave him a faltering smile, “I don’t deserve anything.”

“Don’t say that. I’d give you the world if I could.”

You sighed, leaning into him. There was no denying how comforting Jack Daniels was. “You’re just saying that to be sweet.”

Jack pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’m not sweet to just anyone.”

“Sure, J,” you sniffed, “Is something burning?”

“The pancakes,” Jack confirmed.

“Jack!”

“What? I had to pick my battles. You were more important.”

“Sunshine, you can’t just do that!” The term of endearment lost to you. You stood and rushed into the kitchen. The room was grey with smoke. Taking the skillet off the stove you stuffed it into the oven.

Jack opened up the windows, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

You raised a brow, “What got you so happy?”

“Nothin’ pretty lady. But take a seat, I promised you a breakfast and you’re getting one.”

Jack went to go grab a fan and pointed it to the window, pushing out more smoke. He pulled out a bar stool and motioned for you to sit down. Your luck had been shit lately and he was hell bent on giving you a nice day. A good homemade breakfast would be a nice start.

“Now, sugar, I’mma try out these pancakes again. You need to try this homemade blueberry sauce ma makes. You’re going to love it.” He started to make the works. Eggs, bacon, and pancakes, no clue what you’d actually like so he gave you a selection. Jack served your plate and set a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice in front of you.

You plucked a piece of bacon from your plate and fed it to Bess who had taken to laying on the floor beside your chair. “This is really too much. You didn’t have to.”

“I know I didn’t, but you’re so cute I couldn’t help myself.” He winked at you, “How else am I supposed to show you I’m prime husband material?”

“You’re right,” you nodded, grabbing your cup of coffee and taking a sip, “I’ll be sure to pass that on to Vanessa. Then again she doesn’t need any convincing.”

He grimaced at that, “Eat your food. Try the syrup.”

You laughed, but did as he said. A mouthful, you moaned almost instantly. “How the hell did I live so long without this?”

“It’s honest to god the best thing in the world.”

You smiled and he noticed the small wince that followed. In that second he knew he wouldn’t be able to ever see you hurt again. Who could see your precious face and think about hurting you. As far as he was concerned all you deserved was happiness.

Next Chapter

#agent whiskey #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #reader insert #kingsman #pedro pascal x reader

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cainsnocreaturefeature · 5 years

Text

She didn’t particularly know how to dance.

She also didn’t particularly know Nugget could dance.

But apparently he could, because the moment she found her bearings with those godforsaken heels Cindy insisted she wear he was leading her to the dance floor with the grace of a practiced dancer, practically running over everyone else with how tall and broad-shouldered he was. His suit made him stand out too - an incredibly light blue that appeared almost white to the untrained eye, the darker sections a cool cadet gray, his mask light blue with white handpainted snowflake designs on them. Cindy had gone all out with theirs.

I thought you’d both look great in each other’s colors, and thus, your theme, Cindy had told her offhandedly the moment she’d handed Lily her dress. So voila. A song of ice and fire. Fitting, since I thought you were a stone cold bitch before.

Pot, meet kettle, Lily had quipped back then.

Cindy scoffed. At least this round I’m a stone cold bitch to the people who deserve it. Now shoo. I need to fistfight Penny into choosing a color.

“Is the lovely Lily doing alright?”

Lily was snapped out of her reverie by a soft voice that could only belong to Nugget, whose emerald eyes shone with undisguised concern for his dance partner and date to the masquerade. “Ah… yeah, I’m fine, Nugget. Don’t worry about it.”

“Nugget will always worry about the lovely Lily,” He said seriously before raising his arm up and hers along with it - a signal for Lily to turn around once before falling back into the normal position for ballroom dancers. “But if the lovely Lily wishes for Nugget not to worry actively, then he won’t.”

A shift in the music. A turn in the tides.

The music became faster, more upbeat - and so Nugget and Lily adjusted. The clacking of Lily’s heels against the floor became more prominent as Nugget spun and twirled and dipped her like he’d been born to dance, and quite frankly Lily wondered if he’d been taking dance lessons on the side with Alice if he could dance this well-

“The lovely Lily is thinking hard again,” Nugget commented softly as he pulled her back up onto a stable standing position before leading her yet again.

Lily’s cheeks flushed gently, the fingers she’d interlocked with Nugget’s tightening slightly. “I was wondering if you’d taken dancing lessons with Alice at any point recently.”

“What made the lovely Lily think about that?” Nugget asked bemusedly.

Her cheeks darkened a little more. “I-It’s just- I didn’t know you could dance. Much less professionally. I feel like I’m dancing with a master when I’m just a beginner.”

“Nugget isn’t a master… but he did use to dance with Gramma when he was much younger,” The blond mused as the music slowed to a stop. With the end of the song, Nugget and Lily bowed to each other before joining together once more for another dance. “Gramma liked to listen to ballroom music while working, and Nugget was usually there. Nugget would dance with Gramma when she asked. Gramma taught Nugget most of what he knows.”

Lily remembered Grandma Groujon. The sweet old lady had been the lunch lady at the first kindergarten where she’d met Nugget, and honestly one of the nicest staff members present. Hell, she was unmatched - at least, until they’d met Bob in the second kindergarten.

Lily gave Nugget a smile as he lifted her in the air. The sudden loss of gravity made her panic a bit, but upon remembering that it was Nugget holding her she relaxed by a hair, her other arm going to circle around his neck. “That’s sweet, Nugget.”

“Not as sweet as the lovely Lily,” Nugget quipped.

Oh, how appropriate her attire. Suddenly her everything was on fire.

“I hate how you think you have the right to say that,” Lily grumbled as Nugget set her back down with a cheeky grin as the music slowed again to a stop.

As the musicians scrambled to set themselves upon a new piece, Nugget led Lily back to their table while he answered, “Does Nugget not have the right?”

“W- I mean. Y-yeah, of course you do…” Lily stammered before harrumphing and crossing her arms. “But it always catches me off guard! It’s not fair! I can never catch you off guard!”

Nugget blinked at her in bewilderment before admitting in the most honest tone Lily’s ever heard from him, “But the lovely Lily always catches Nugget off guard with how lovely she is every day. How can Lily say that when she does that every day?”

THERE IT IS AGAIN!

Lily wanted to disintegrate. Badly. It wasn’t fair that he could be so innocent and smooth at the same time. What kind of sick god out there let one person be both? God she just wanted to melt.

She, however, didn’t get the chance, because suddenly Nugget was seating her down on one of the chairs and he was sitting down next to her and oh, okay, so he was getting food for them. Neat. That was neat. A neat trick.

…

God she was a goner, wasn’t she?

Lily buried her face in her hands.

“Lily?”

She looked up. Standing in front of her was none other than Billy, who was peering down at her curiously. By his side was Kidd, who seemed to be on the lookout for something, but from what he’d said before when he’d shown up at the Kurosawa doorstep, she didn’t think too hard about it.

-=-=-

“You look like hell,” She told him bluntly.

Kidd barked out a harsh laugh. His left arm rested against the doorframe as he tried to catch his breath. “Tell me something I don’t know, Lilith.”

“Ooh, my full name, I’m terrified,” Lily rolled her eyes before yelping as Kidd swooned and quite nearly fell over her. “Jesus, Kidd! I know I said you look like hell but you don’t need to prove it!”

With a muffled groan, Kidd just rested his chin on top of Lily’s head. “Can I please come in. Please.”

“Dumbass. Of course you can, come on- BILLY! GET OVER HERE! KIDD NEEDS HELP!”

A crashing noise. A bang.

Billy tumbled down the stairs unharmed before scrambling to his feet to assist. Lily didn’t even bother asking why he’d tumbled down the stairs at the call. “It’s like, nearly nightfall, Kidd. Shouldn’t you be home?”

“Can’t go home. Someone killed Alice.”

“SOMEONE KILLED-” Kidd immediately slapped his hands on both LIly and Billy’s mouths, shushing them harshly.

“The door’s still WIDE OPEN. Come on, let’s move this inside.”

He shut the door behind him.

-=-=-

“Hey, Billy,” Lily greeted, straightening up. “Party going well for you?”

“Mmhm. Can’t get anybody to dance with though. Don’t blame them - they’ve got you and Nugget to beat, after all,” Billy winked, causing Lily to flush furiously again. “Aw, don’t be shy. You two are great at dancing.”

“He is, anyway - you know I’m terrible at this!”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lil. It’s just dancing,” Billy punched her shoulder before crossing his legs and crossing his arms, leaning back on his chair. For Billy, Cindy had chosen a practically nonexistent motif, claiming that he was ‘water’ in contrast to Nugget’s ice and Lily’s fire. But that was probably just her bullshitting, she reasoned. “And besides, you know as well as I do that he loves you regardless.”

There was the word again. You’d think she’d be used to it by now, but noooo.

“Are you actually blushing because I said he l-”

“Stop. D. Don’t.” Lily quite nearly gnashed her knuckles with her teeth.

Billy gave her a deadpan stare. “You two. Are LITERALLY dating.”

“ALMOST dating. That’s the difference. We haven’t formally asked each other out yet-”

“WHAT THE F-”

“CALM DOWN, BILLY! YEESH!” Lily reached out to shoosh him, settling him back down into his chair just as Nugget came back with what appeared to be an array of entrees all arranged on one platter and at least three different drinks on another platter.

Billy gave him a grin as Nugget set them all down. “Already taking a hit at the buffet table?”

“Before Ron does, yes,” Nugget quipped before sitting down next to Lily again. “Nugget sees you have been hanging around friend Kidd still. Any luck on that front?”

Billy’s red face told Nugget everything.

“Nugget supposed not. Such is the plight of poor Billy.”

“Don’t make us sound like some Shakespearean tragedy, geez,” Billy grumbled. “Anyway, Buggs found Madison, Jerome, and Ozzy earlier.” He gestured towards the side, where Buggs and the trio were heading over.

Lily perked up - it’d been a while since she’d seen any of them. Since any of them had seen the trio abroad, actually. “Oh! They made it!” Pause. “Wait, Buggs made it too? Where’d he get an outfit? Did Cindy know he’d make it?”

“Uh. That’s the surprise, actually. We helped him do some last minute shopping. Don’t tell Cindy, okay?” Billy shushed her with a conspiratorial grin. The last time Lily had seen that grin, he’d been trying to set up for Monty and/or Carla to admit that they were in some way or form dating. It hadn’t been a success.

Lily gave him a look.

“Lil, c’mon. It’ll work, trust me.” Billy reassured as Cindy the parrot neared them, fluttering over to Nugget and nestling in his hair. “This is like, Buggs and Cindy we’re talking about here. They’re not as skittish about the topic as Carla and Monty.”

“About what topic?” Buggs asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood right behind Billy’s chair.

Billy leaned backwards to give him a grin. “About Cindy and you being in a relationship.”

“How many times do I have to beat the idea out of your soul, Kurosawa?” Buggs grumbled. “She’s not looking, I’m still soul searching. Not ready for anything and I sure as hell will not burden her with the me running around trying to find myself.”

“And Nugget’s not in love with Lily,” Billy shot back flatly, making Lily choke on the glass of Four Seasons she’d begun to drink. Nugget seemed oddly placid about it, smiling pleasantly at Billy as he patted and rubbed Lily’s back as she choked. “Seriously, dude. You named your parrot after her. You might as well be making googoo gaga eyes.”

“Like you are with Kidd?” Buggs replied just as dryly. “Don’t fucking shoot things at me that you do yourself, dirt for brains.”

Billy turned red, and Lily looked up at Kidd. Thankfully enough, he didn’t seem to have heard - but he did have his sights set elsewhere. “Kidd?”

“...”

“Kidd.” Lily called again.

“... Huh? Oh,” Kidd turned back to face them. It was eerie, the way Cindy had designed his mask. While everyone else’s masks had the traditional eyeholes, Kidd’s mask had three horizontal slits for each eyehole instead, hiding whatever his eyes could have been expressing in terms of emotions. The mask itself also curved in such a way that the scars visible on his face were hidden the best they could be. Everything about his mask obscured his face, and while she supposed it was typical of Kidd, it was still eerie in general. “What is it, Lily?”

Lily pursed her lips as Madison, Ozzy, and Jerome all took their seats around them at the table. Maybe they needed to get two tables. “You seem distracted. Pretty girl catch your eye?”

She was mostly jokingly referring to Alice, but Kidd only replied with, “Sure. I guess you could say that,” before turning back to where he was looking.

“Seriously, Kidd. You seem tense,” Jerome rested his cheek against his palm, his elbow on the table as he looked at Kidd. “I know pretty girls wouldn’t bother you like this. You’re like… unflappable.”

“Thanks…?”

“You know what I mean. Spill.”

“Just... looking out for Ted and Penny, that’s all,” Kidd admitted, visibly turning his head so the others could follow where he was looking - to Ted, being forced to converse with what appeared to be Applesoft’s business partners alongside his father and mother.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Huxley had at least one of their hands on his shoulders in such a manner that made it seem as though they were afraid to let go of him, but from where they were all watching, it seemed that Ted was quickly slipping into a comfortable manner of speech with the partners - a good sign. Ted had been anxious about the whole thing from the beginning, so to see him at least relaxing slightly about it meant that he’d be okay, at the very least.

“He looks like he’s doing well,” Buggs commented mildly.

Madison looked around curiously. “But where’s Penny?”

“Probably still fist fighting Cindy about her dress,” Lily echoed offhandedly. When everyone turned to stare at her words, it occurred to her that maybe she should have worded that differently. “I mean. Uh. When I got my dress Cindy shooed me away so she could ask Penny which of her dresses she’d be wearing and coordinate accessories for it. There’s a possibility Penny hasn’t chosen yet.”

Jerome raised an eyebrow. “This late into the party?”

“She could just put on red to match Ted,” Ozzy mused, observing Ted’s outfit. “He looks dashing. Why the feather motif though?”

“Something about swans, I bet,” Buggs said. “She’s been dying to make something about them for forever.”

Billy hummed, sipping on his own drink. “Would explain the feather motif on Penny’s dress too. I like it.”

“You like everything she makes.” Jerome snorted.

“She’s good at her work!”

“Is that the kind Penny?”

Nugget’s words caught everyone’s attentions as they followed to where he was pointing. From the entrance of the ballroom from the garden side, a cloaked figure entered the fray, holding one of the invitations to the masquerade. As the figure pulled back the hood, a familiar mask and blonde hair revealed itself.

“So she went with the red one. Nice. Never seen Penny in red before,” Ozzy leaned forward on the table, lacing his fingers together and making a cushion for his chin. “She looks absolutely radiant.”

Madison hummed in agreement. “Ted’s got good taste.”

“She really is a vision in red...” Lily agreed before looking at Kidd, who seemed to be oddly stiff. “... Kidd?”

“... I need to talk to Penny,” were his only words before he took off, leaving the party in the dust.

“Where’s he off to in such a rush?” Buggs asked, raising an eyebrow as Kidd weaved through the various ballroom dancers to get to the lady in red across the room. “Penny would’ve found us sooner or later. He didn’t need to run.”

Billy tugged on his sleeve nervously. “... Maybe he really needed to tell her something.”

-=-=-

“Alice died. But I looped. Remember when I looped when we were kids and I told you that it suddenly stopped?”

“I can loop again. But before I found out, Alice died.”

“She died because of something a lot like Penny’s old laser.”

“There’s something wrong, you two. And I think Penny and Ted are the eye of the storm.”

-=-=-

Lily shook her head free of the things Kidd had told her. At the feeling of Nugget’s hand gently holding hers, she only sighed and squeezed his hand, trying to reassure herself that Kidd was probably just paranoid.

He probably isn’t though. He’s never been wrong about these things... right?

... Right.

#kindergarten game #kindergarten 2 #kindergarten #cain's no creature feature au #cncf answered #cncf queue #i: the lady in red

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ihavetogogh · 4 years

Text

alright, I wasn’t technically tagged in this, but @the-chesapeake-shipper did a vague-tag to all mutuals yesterday, and 🥺 I’m bored. thank u for ur generosity

rules: tag people you want to get to know better!

your name and then what you would have named yourself: well... coincidentally, i did choose my name a few years back. i’m darcy (yes, after mr. darcy. no, i do not regret it). HOWEVER there are times when i wish i had chosen a name that paid homage to my Japanese heritage. i recently learned that my mom had planned to name me kimiko hunaya and there are lots of days where i consider it because i know my great grandmother approved of it

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know): will someone at a higher level of gay please teach me how to do this stuff???? i’m a capricorn, but i don’t know if that’s sun, moon, or rising

when did you join tumblr and why?: oh god.... way too young? i think i made my first blog in eighth grade. so 2011. mostly because i wanted to be an edgy tween reblogging quotes

top five fandoms: i have to narrow it down? this list is in a constant flux but at this exact moment: nbc hannibal, star trek, tolkien (i cant bring myself to say lotr while the silmarillion still holds most of my heart), the man from uncle, and x-men (but exclusively for erik’s turtlenecks)

top five favorite films: the normal heart, princess mononoke, star trek: the voyage home, the phantom thread, and the pride and prejudice 5 part mini-series that we’re all going to pretend is a movie because i never watch movies...

go to song when you want to Feel something: depends on what i need to feel, but if we’re talking about Yearning(TM), lover please stay by nothing but thieves

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: i was raised mostly with catholic influences and some shintoism/buddhism. i vacillate between total nihilism and the concept of divinity in nature and the infinite cyclicality of energy and life??

a song that makes you feel seen: anything keaton henson has ever written? beekeeper is a very enduring song from when i was younger that still hits me right in the gut even if i dont feel the same way as i did back then. a more currently relevant song would be garden song by phoebe bridgers

if you could have any career: if i could be the person i want to be rather than the person that i am, i would be a university english professor, preferably at some old university where everything is a little drafty and the campus library has high ceilings and ghosts that stretch back to time immemorial. sharing a love for literature and storytelling has always appealed to me, and if i could, i would spend the rest of my life in academia

do you have a type: men who are too old for me and women who intimidate me 😔

what does your heart/soul yearn for?: faust. all i want right now is to sit down in my library with goethe, tchaikovsky playing in the background. where’s mephistopheles to give me a special witches brew so i have all the time in the world to glut on the passions of humanity?

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: book hoarding bisexual literature student???

favorite subject in school: english, but i also love history (especially art history)

where does your soul feel most at home?: sitting on the end of my grandparent’s crumbling dock, feet dangling in a lake that made it’s home in some scooped out part of the north cascade mountains. everything is still except the whisper of the air through the pine needles and the slap of water against the shore. my grandma and i had wine and charcuterie for lunch and now my grandpa’s talking about his painting—something that straddles the line between the familiar and the surreal. it’s a very comforting memory

top 5 fictional characters: aragorn, son of arathorn, king of gondor; hannibal lecter; jim kirk; thomasina from tom stoppard’s arcadia; lyra belaqua from his dark materials

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: did you mean when boromir dies in fellowship???? he’s such a tragic character, and sean bean was the perfect casting decision. uuuhmmmmm hannibal tenderly and erotically gutting will in his kitchen. it’s one hell of a sex scene, that. aaaand the ending of your lie in april. i have nothing else to say on the matter

the earth, the sun, the moon, or the stars: has to be the stars (moon, please forgive me....)

favorite kind of weather: when everything is poised on the edge of a storm. the air is perfectly still, and you can smell the rain and the lightning. the sun low enough that there’s nothing but a glow of light at the bottom of the cloud bank

top 3 characters you kin with: elizabeth bennett.... clearly; will graham.... less clearly; and leonard mccoy, ultimate mom friend

favorite medium of art: subtractive sculpture mediums, especially marble, and oil painting. give me all that classic art

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: i’m a big, dumb introvert

a favorite literary quote: i could... spend hours answering this. since i’m thinking of stoppard and his horribly underappreciated plays, we’ll go with my favorite quote from arcadia: “We shed as we pick up, like travellers who must carry everything in their arms, and what we let fall will be picked up by those behind. The procession is very long and life is very short. We die on the march. But there is nothing outside the march so nothing can be lost to it. The missing plays of Sophocles will turn up piece by piece, or be written again in another language. Ancient cures for diseases will reveal themselves once more. Mathematical discoveries glimpsed and lost to view will have their time again. You do not suppose, my lady, that if all of Archimedes had been hiding in the great library of Alexandria, we would be at a loss for a corkscrew?”

some of your favorite books: the hobbit (tolkien), cloud atlas (david mitchell), the goldfinch (donna tartt), broken monsters (lauren beukes), the amber spyglass (phillip pullman), the paper menagerie (ken liu), the vintner’s luck (elizabeth knox), wuthering heights (emily bronte), pride and prejudice (jane austen), lolita (vladimir nabokov), crimson petal in the white (michel faber), sharp objects (gillian flynn), life after life (kate atkinson), the picture of dorian gray (oscar wilde), arcadia (tom stoppard), faust (goethe)

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?: a townhouse in edinburgh scotland, someplace just big enough for all of my books and a dog and cat. or that town int he netherlands where there’s no cars and everyone gets around by boat. i don’t drive, so that sounds like such a dream??????

if you could live in any time in history, when would it be?: i don’t think i’d like living in any other time, honestly... as a nonbinary person... but i would love to pop into the victorian era for a visit. i want to sit in on a victorian salon, listen to poets read their work and look at art and just generally enjoy the beauty of it. but i wouldn’t like to live then for long

if you could play any instrument masterfully, which would it be?: the cello please and thank you

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to?: i vibe pretty hard with persephone...

oh my god, this is so long, but LASTLY, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: two because why not?

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kirigaya-art · 5 years

Text

Round Robin Ch 5

SIMON

I bite my lip, glancing around the room as I tug on the collar of my jumper-- no. Of Baz's jumper. I'm still wearing his bloody jumper, feeling like the biggest knobhead in the world. Honestly, Baz was right. What kind of mage can't even hold their wand the right way round?

At least now that classes are over for the day and I'm back in my own room, I can grab some fresh clothes that aren't singed, including the jumper I didn't put on this morning. The only problem is I'm still not sure what to do with Baz's.

He said it was okay if I just put it on his bed, right? I wanted to come during lunch, but time got away from me, and Penny was rushing me to our next class together before I could even think about returning the jumper. I ended up wearing it all day.

It was kind of distracting. The smell, I mean. It reminded me of when he and I were curled up so close to each other, after I spelled the room cold… like he was laying on top of me all day, drenching me in his rich earthy smell. Like his arms were still wrapped around me. Like I could still hear his teeth chattering, feel him burrowing his face into my hair. I nearly fell asleep like that in class, resting my head on my arms and breathing in the scent.

But now I'm done with the jumper, and I'm not sure what to do. Just throwing it on his bed seems like something that would actually make him angrier. He'd probably throw a fit over how I'd let it wrinkle, or how I hadn't put it on just the right part of his bed, or any other excuse to start a row with me. (Some days I think he likes fighting with me.) It's enough to make me hesitant and paranoid, and I'm scared to even slip the jumper off until I know where to put it. He usually doesn't come back to our room for a few hours, so I can't ask him either...

"If I were Baz, where would I put my jumpers?" I mumble to myself, lifting a hand to my chin (and subsequently slapping myself with the extra-long sleeve).

I throw open his wardrobe first, squinting around. It looks like he has mostly blazers and shirts in here, but not jumpers. He must not hang them up, which means they're folded in a drawer somewhere. That makes this hunt a little more difficult.

Kneeling between our beds, I pull open the first drawer on his bedside table. I'm surprised to see how neat it is, used to my own drawer full of gum wrappers, crisp packets, and other assorted necessities. His is tidy, with a few things in perfect little rows: a wand case, a small container for hair clips, and a couple of pens in different colors.

Satisfied there are no jumpers, I close the drawer and move on to the next one. This one seems to be designated for school things. There are folders, stacks of paper, and textbooks. I rummage for a bit, checking to make sure there's nothing underneath it all.

I open the third drawer, hoping I won't have to look through the many others in the room. This one is a little less neat than the others, filled with loose sheets of paper and what look like art supplies. Charcoal pencils sit in little tins, and a metal box labelled watercolours is sat on top of some. I suppose Baz is an artist, then. I rummage about, grabbing his artworks to look. It’s mostly unfinished sketches-- I recognise his younger sister from the background of his mobile. (He’s still got it, even though the Mage instated a new rule this year saying we couldn’t have them on campus.) There’s a few coloured drawings, too-- a closeup of a blue eye, a profile shot of someone with just the dirty blonde hair detailed, a study of a mouth with lips bitten pink. He’s not bad, actually.

And then I see it. A hard corner, poking out below the drawings. I push the sheets aside and reveal the true secret of this drawer: a notebook with little hearts and flowers outlined on the cover. The largest heart is in the middle, and written inside it is From NP. His girlfriend, I assume, though I can't seem to remember any girls at Watford with those initials. (A Normal, maybe?) (How scandalous for a Pitch.)

I sit back, peering at the book in my hands. Surely it's filled with romantic poems, or sappy love songs, or otherwise vile expressions of passion, from both him and the unlucky lady. Prime blackmail material.

I try to open the book, eager to see what's written inside, but it won’t budge. It must be spelled shut.

“Open sesame,” I hiss. The book springs open in my hands, and I lean back against Baz’s bed, admittedly proud of my spellwork.

The first page has a date written at the very top, one that's not exactly recent. I have to do some mental math to recognize it as just before our first day of classes at Watford. Intrigued, I start reading.

Being back at Watford is not nearly as cathartic as I had hoped it would be.

I frown. Is cathartic a good thing or a bad thing?

I wish you were here.

'You'? Does that mean the girlfriend?

I miss you. And I don't know if I can stand being here without you. I feel like I'm the only sane person here. You wouldn't believe who the Crucible just paired me with.

So this is from the day when Baz and I became roommates. But who was he writing to? Maybe it was a Normal girlfriend after all-- a tragic story of lovers who couldn't see each other because she wasn't allowed at Watford. I'm just surprised he was dating so early. And if he still has the book, does that mean he still loves her?

I continue.

Simon Snow is the most beautiful idiot I have ever met.

I think that's actually the nicest thing he's ever said about me.

And the Mage is insufferable.

I pout. What does he get out of complaining about the Mage so much? And what girlfriend would want to read his rants?

I skip to a later page.

Today, Snow forgot how to spell demolish when writing me what was supposed to be a threatening note. I couldn't stop laughing.

Flushing, I turn to another section.

Snow fell right on his face when--

Skip.

I can't believe Snow actually--

Skip.

And when Snow was--

Skip.

He was gorgeous.

I freeze, stopping to reread the sentence. Surely that doesn't say what I think it does?

Snow cried last night. He was gorgeous. How does he do that? Even when he’s yelling and sobbing, he still looks like a bloody model. I can't stand it.

I swallow hard, glancing at the top of the page. It's from a few days ago-- the day after the chimera.

It's like he's trying to make me soft. How could I not comfort him? I think I would have died if I'd had to see him so upset any longer.

I know he already told me he comforted me that night. He admitted it when we were stuck in here. But it feels different, reading his perspective directly.

I hate seeing him upset. But I'm usually the reason he's upset. It's all a damn self-destructive cycle that makes me want to

and then there's something frantically scratched out, standing out from his neat handwriting. I wonder what it said, but I'm also not sure I want to know.

I'm in too fucking deep to stop now. But for just one night, I wanted to be there for him, as backwards and asinine as that is. I wanted him to

More scratched out writing.

I just wanted to

Scribbles of ink again.

I hate that I know exactly what he looks like when he cries.

The rest of the page is blank, but that sentence doesn't feel like a proper ending.

He doesn't like seeing me upset? He wants to comfort me all the time? He hates seeing me cry? It doesn't sound like Baz. And I'm getting the feeling this isn't meant for a girlfriend.

I go back a few pages, scanning for something, anything, that might explain all of this. Why he can’t go a paragraph without mentioning my name. Why he’d make me cry when he doesn’t really want to. Why he goes from attacking me to comforting me to pushing me down the stairs to holding me as I fall asleep.

I’m so in love. And I hate it.

In love?

I would do anything if it meant I didn’t have to be in love with

“Snow.”

My head jerks up, and I meet Baz’s gaze.

“What in the World of Mages do you think you’re doing?” He asks. His eyes are cold grey, like impenetrable steel.

“I… uh…” Well, I’m reading his diary, aren’t I?

He stalks towards me, and I can see him starting to lose his grip. His expression is slipping out of its calm disinterest into something dangerous.

“Give that back,” he growls. “It’s not yours.”

For some reason, I hold it tight, like I have a reason to protect it.

“Don’t test me, Snow.” But he doesn’t look like he’s going to bite my head off. His face is all red, but it’s blotchy, and his eyes are shining. I think he’s going to cry. “Just-- just give me the damn book.”

“You love someone?” I ask, like an idiot.

His hand shakes as he grabs the book, trying to tug it out of my grip. “That’s none of your business.”

“Who’s N. P.?” I insist. “Your Normal girlfriend? Is that why you can’t see her?”

He takes a deep breath, expression shifting a few times. I think he’s trying to calm himself down. “N. P. for…” He shakes his head. “For Natasha Pitch.”

My stomach drops to the floor, and my grip on the book loosens enough that he’s able to snatch it away. He clutches it to his stomach like it’s made of glass.

“She was going to give it to me when I started school,” he mumbles. “To celebrate, and so she could be with me all the time, even when she was busy.” He won’t meet my eyes. “Obviously she… she’ll never really read it. But I write to her.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and I mean it.

He glares at me with a passion I’ve never seen before. “How much did you read?”

“Not much,” I lie. “The first entry.”

“You asked me if I was in love,” he reminds me. “How much did you read?”

I swallow. “I… didn’t see who.”

He grits his teeth, pulling his wand from his sleeve. He casts a spell I don’t hear, and the book glows for a moment. He shoves it under the artworks and slams the drawer shut. The sound echoes in my mind for a few seconds.

“Give me my damn jumper,” he hisses, and my face flushes as I remember the point of this escapade. I pull it over my head and toss it to him. He throws it onto his bed, still crumpled into a ball, and grunts, “I’m going to take a shower.” I think it’s because of the tears threatening to spill, but I just nod.

He disappears into the restroom with a change of clothes, and I’m left leaning against his bed.

I didn’t see who he’s in love with, that’s true. But my mind is swimming with everything I did see. What he said about wanting to make me happy. How I made him regret everything he did to me. How his causing my misery was a “self-destructive cycle.” And really, there’s only so much that could mean.

I glance to the door of the restroom. I can hear the water start to run.

Carefully, I pull open the drawer again. I pick up the notebook and try again, keeping my voice low. “Open sesame.” It pops open in my hands, and I gently turn. the pages to find my place.

I would do anything if it meant I didn’t have to be in love with Simon Snow.

I’m frozen in place for a moment, gears turning.

I close the book, too panicked to think of a spell to lock it, and shove it into the drawer, closing it quietly. I’m scared he’ll hear how loud my heart is pounding in my ears.

I stand, find one of my own jumpers in my wardrobe, and slip out of the room. I need some time to think.

#kiri writes #fanfiction #carry on #round robin #snooping #secret crush #diary #reading diary #simon snow #baz pitch #tw death mention #angst #snowbaz

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junk-yard-hearts · 6 years

Text

Poly Bowers Gang HC’s

o lookie lookie

Belch (I prefer calling him Reg or Reggie to Belch tbh)-

· I see Reggie as more of the enforcer within their group dynamic.

· The other guys can get kind of carried away and he’s the first to tell them to leave you the hell alone if he thinks they’re making you uncomfortable

· After a thorough fucking he’s the one who’d gently kiss your temple and tell you how good you were

· He always lets you sit in the front seat and glares over his shoulder at the others when they whine about it. As far as he’s concerned, it’s HIS car and you deserve the front seat, dammit. (He actually just wants to watch the sun hit your face and keep you away from Patrick)

· The other guys give him hell because he’s so sweet on you but he just can’t help how much he adores you awe

· The others laugh because you would never call him Belch and he blushes every time you call him Reggie

· He’s the one you’d call after all your best friends stood you up for your girls-night-in sleepover plans. He’d hear your disappointed voice and the sniffles and sigh. He shows up at your house 20 minutes later with the fuckboy squad in toe.

· You ask if he’d do a face mask with you and he looks panicked as fuck

· But the second you hit him with those lovey eyes, he relents

· The other guys sit around and snicker as you apply cerulean goo to his face but he couldn’t care less because the smile on your lips is everything to him tbh.

· Henry tells him he’s such a girl, and Belch hits him with some “a real man would do anything to put a smile on his girl’s face” shit and Henry just slinks tf away

· He drives you to school every day, and sometimes when your parents aren’t home, he comes in and eats breakfast with you and helps you finish getting ready.

· He helps you pull your hair back and ties your shoes for you awawawe

· Always opens your car door for you

· You wear his t-shirts to school after spending the night with him and he gets all heart-eyed and thinks you look so cute.

· He sees you in your faded jeans, with a bow in your hair, and his ratty Judas Priest shirt on and his cheeks get all hot cause he just thinks you’re the cutest.

· For his birthday, you go to his house while he’s at work and you and his mom cook him his favorite dinner (chicken parmesan and fettucine), and you and the gang hang up a banner and surprise him.

· You didn’t have much money so you made him a cassette mix tape and take them to the bakery on main street for cupcakes, and you all serenade him right there on the sidewalk outside the shop.

· He tries SO HARD to keep up with your friend drama because he likes that you come to him to talk but fuck, you have so many friends. Who’s Trish?? Where tf did Emma come from? When the hell did Lisa come into the picture?

· Takes care of you on your period like his mom told him to.

Victor

· Vic is the one you go to about your friend drama and knows exactly what you’re talking about.

· “Oh my god who does Lisa think she is talking to Gemma about you like that? I’ll kick her ass idc.”

· Says goodbye with a firm slap on the ass

· Smiles at the tiny squeak you make every time he slaps the ass

· Always gives you candies out of the pockets of his vest

· He says he keeps them to put a smile on your face and you know he stole that shit

· Loves to rest his head in your lap and let you play with his hair

· He gets this blissed out, barely conscious look when you gently scrape your nails across his scalp

· Stares in slack-jawed appreciation when you wear those little skirts that sway when you walk

· When you’re having a bad day, he paints your nails

· He notices you getting nervous and scraping the polish off and just grabs your hand away and squeezes it.

· Smacks Patrick over the head for making lewd comments about your body in public

· “Dude, watch your fucking mouth, she’s a lady.”

· You have study hall together, and you sit with your Walkman cassette player in between you, listening to KISS and holding hands, and reading your English class assignments

· KISS is so not his cup of tea but he doesn’t mind them.

· He knows you love them so he sits put and listens anyway

· He learns all the words to all the songs on Smashes Thrashes and Hits from how often you listen to it.

· You two smoked weed together and the guys found you laying outside staring at the clouds together being sappy

· But he kicked their asses for making fun of it

· You bleach his hair for him because he tried to do it himself and got burns on his head

· You teach him how to put coconut oil through his hair to prevent burning, damage and uneven processing

· Henry and Patrick laugh and look on, telling him how soft it is to dye his hair.

· You turn around and tell them how harsh and dangerous bleach can be to the body and offer to put some on THEIR heads.

· They scurry tf away

· He loves to watch you masturbate, and loves when you wear lingerie for them.

· When you and your boyfriends crashed a party, they went off to torture some people but you and Vic were making out on the stairs while all the girls with crushes on him watched

· He lowkey loves showing you off at all times

· For Christmas you made him the coolest sneakers he ever saw

· You bought a pair of canvas kicks from the thrift store and spent hours painting them, and he fREAKED when he saw them

· He loves when you wear that peachy smelling lipgloss but he always ends up with shimmer all over his mouth and the guys laugh at him. Worth it tho.

Henry

· You tell him you got your nails done and he gets this “The fuck are you tellin’ me for?” look on his face.

· You frown. He realizes you just want him to act interested and suddenly he’s like AH YES, THE NAILS, THE FINGERNAILS YES THE NAILS ON THESE PARTICULAR FINGERS ARE LOOKING MIGHTY SPIFFY TODAY YES INDEED

· He notices you painted them his favorite color and has to physically restrain himself from squealing like a schoolgirl because he loves that you love him lmao

· Talks a major talk about what a ladykiller he is but the first time you take your clothes off and he sees your body in only soft lingerie he just stares in awe and appreciation

· He thinks you don’t know (but you definitely know) he stole one of your silky pink camisoles and keeps it stuffed under his mattress.

· He actually wasn’t being pervy, he holds it to him when he sleeps and breathes in that precious smell of delicate perfume and something distinctly you and it blisses him out no matter how stressed he is.

· Always puts his arm around you in public or holds your hand

· When its cold and you didn’t wear a jacket to school, he scolds you because he’s concerned for your health and comfort, and puts his jacket around your shoulders.

· Will beat someone up just for looking at you wrong

· Always is the guy who says he needs to “Defend your honor”

· Its endearing but can be a bit much.

· Always hitting Patrick for disrespecting you

· Always being hit by Reggie for disrespecting you :^)

· Is 90000% outraged when you confess an insecurity

· “What on god’s green earth would you hate your tits for?! Have you fuckin seen them? Your body ‘so fine I’m havin to chase off every man in this damn town, cause they all want my girl.”

· I think he’d be that boyfriend who if you wore a low cut shirt in public would walk around with his hand covering your cleavage cause that shits his eyes only thank you very much.

· “Only yours?” you’d tease. “Damn straight.” he’d reply. “But what about Belch? N Pat n Vic?” you’d say, laughing. “OK, now listen here.”

· Is totally fine sharing you but constantly refers to you as HIS girl.

· Likes you to know who’s in charge.

· One time you sucked his fingers clean after he fingered you and he is still recovering tbqh

· Also one time you called him daddy in public and he came in his fccuccking pants.

· You didn’t know what to get him for his birthday so you just had him over to spend the night and wore pretty underthings and had a night just the two of you.

· You cut his hair. You’re always begging him to let you cut the fucking mullet off but he just won’t hear of it. He thinks he looks badass.

· His hair is really soft tho and you put the mullet into a tiny braid and giggled endlessly.

· He just quirked his eyebrow up at you and asked If he looked sexy.

· Lives for validation

· Tries to offer you aftercare but lowkey useless at it

Patrick

Patricks are the dirtiest

· Rarely allowed to be alone with you

· Loves to say creepy shit just to watch you squirm

· By far the most dominant and thinks aftercare is stupid lmao

· He likes that you somewhat want to impress him

· JEALOUS as hell of how much Henry adores you

· And really, how much they all adore you

· One time he got the sense that you might actually be real

· Which freaks him out, and he can’t shake the feeling

· He compensates for this by going out of his way to make you uncomfortable

· Says creepy shit in public

· Puts his hand up your skirt at the lunch table

· More or less only touches you because he’s allowed to

· He likes your hands a lot, he likes holding them, he likes when you touch him with them because they’re so gentle and soft

· Comes and visits you at night because he just likes to be near you

· At first it was unsettling but now you’re used to it and know he won’t try anything

· As scared as everyone already is of the whole gang,

· They’ll never fuck with you because Patrick is too damn scary

· You had a one-on-one night once

· The next day, the gang came over to hang out and you had welts on your chest from where Patrick dripped candle wax on you, bloodied bite marks on your collarbones and were limping

· Belch punched him in the fucking face

· He knows you probably liked it but the idea of Patrick getting too carried away without anyone there to stop him worries him

· (I honestly think he’s just always looking for reason to punch Patrick lmao. If asked why, he’d shake his head and say “that boy ain’t right” mister fuckin hank hill)

· He likes to brush your hair which is weird to the other guys but you seem ok with it, so…

· The first time you met his mother she was visibly shocked that someone actually wanted to spend time around him yikes lmao

· You wear one of his rings on a necklace because it slides off your fingers

· Gets the roughest with you during sex and the guys are always wary of the fact that you actually seem to enjoy it.

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