Moodboard for Jinnah Beatty (they/she), lead singer of ethereal goth band Mayday Malady.

@infamous-if

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300 Followers Milestone Celebration🎉

Introducing…

꧁𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐤𝗼𝐫𝐧𝗺𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚꧂

อนันต์ อัฏฐกรเมธา

“A young man from a fallen kingdom, his name strikes fear into many hearts.”

Height : 186 cm.

Birthday : October 8th

Age: 18

Homeland : East of Scalding Sands

Best Subject : Astrology

Club: Magical Shift club

Talents: Knowledgeable in astrology and fortune telling, Skilled with archery

Hobby: Crochet, Weaving silk

Likes: Animals, chrysanthemum tea, supernaturals

Dislikes: Misunderstandings

Favorite Food: Street Food

Least Favorite food: pomegranates

꧁𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜 & 𝐀𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬꧂

"𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞" The ability to reverse a person’s (or multiple) movements and objects’ movement/form. The length of how far back he can reverse is unknown, but he usually only goes back to 10 seconds. The longer he reverses, the more stamina it takes.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧 : Warriors are adorned with talisman (tattoos) , giving wearers resistance to black magic and blot. And also some resistance to normal physical damage (ex. a normal blade, a bullet)

𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 : Anan is from a blood line directly from The King of Yakshas. He has an enormous amount of mana, making him a very powerful mage both in magical and physical terms.

꧁𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐧꧂

His last name : “Atthakornmetha” means a philosopher with skills as if they posses eight arms. Strange, right?

Anan is inspired by a character from a literature called Ramakien (รามเกียรต์). It is a Thai version of Ramayana (just in case this rings a bell to anyone). The character Anan is inspired by is….*drumroll please!* Thotsakan! Bro is the antagonist of the story and has TWENTY ARMS AND TEN FACES…WHAT-

Thotsakan has the ability to remove his heart. He stores it in a box far away from him, so he’s technically immortal. But if he’s near the box, the heart returns to him so he’s not immortal anymore. I initially planned this to be Anan’s Unique Magic, but man, it’s too op like😭 Bro can rival Malleus and I don’t want to make a very OP character. Weaknesses are good!

Adding on to the previous paragraph, the information about Thotsakan’s ability will have something to do with his backstory…stay tuned >:-)

My best friend helped me design Anan. She’s amazing at art and very creative too!

My sister also helped me with some headcanons for him AND his unique magic!<3

I have a lot to work on with Anan, at first, his personality is similar to Malleus. It was difficult to put my finger on something unique for him.

Screaming crying throwing up on whether or not I should create a new dorm for my OCs or shove them into one of the seven dorms. Thing is I already designed a unique dorm uniform for them </3 so for now, Anan will be wearing an orange vest. I’ll edit this post later if I changed my mind!

꧁𝐀𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐧꧂

Anan really likes animals, especially small and cute ones like rabbits and hamsters. But animals occasionally run away from him. They’re scared of my boi :(

Anan is the type of friend to always look out for you. When you bend down near a table, his hand will cover the edge of the table so you don’t get hurt. Bro always saves a seat for you during lunch time. Bro remembers your birthday too.

He…has an RBF. He’s very friendly, but he just looks intimidating/angry all the time.

He’s also the type to carry a small pouch around with essential items inside. Your lips are chapped? Say no more, he got chu. Need some mints? Here you go, m’lord/lady. Your nails are dirty? Here’s a nail clipper-

Anan is not afraid to show affection. He will show you that he cares, public or private. He’s always there if you need something, and not in a suffocating way either. Despite his intimidating aura (and looks) if you manage (somehow) to relax and let your guard down, he doesn’t seem so intimidating anymore. And it’s quite relaxing.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 300+ FOLLOWERS💗 I’m so happy I get to share my art on tumblr, in a wonderful community and have people enjoying my silly little art! I’d love to interact with everybody so don’t be shy to ask some questions or barge into my askbox! Thank you again~

Lmk if you have any questions or headcanons about Anan, I’d love to hear them🫶

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 3

Let’s Split Up and Look for Clues! 

Welcome back to the Seven and the Museum of Adventuring. My previous pronouncement of combat was a little premature but hold tight, we’ll get there. For now, we’re back with Antiope who just saw a glimpse of the Ending of Things (aka, Ending) and is freaking out a bit. She tells the others and they all do various checks to see what they can find out.

Ostentatia casts Commune With City and clocks that there is some kind of abjuration shield magic on the government buildings in town, stopping them from being spied on. She also clocks some lingering undead-ish magic and a weird divination effect on Antiope, specifically on the Aguefort logo of her jacket, like someone scryed on her and just got that she had something to do with Aguefort. At this, Penny reminds her that the only true piece of info they gave Ending when they broke her out is that they were from Aguefort.

Sam with a 19 Insight still feels the connection she and Ant have with Ending because of their spells turned against them in the initial encounter. Yelle does a Perception check (27) and once again doesn’t really get bad, dreadful, menacing vibes. But also, she recognizes that she’s chill with a lot of things most people don’t love. 

Antiope reiterates that she texted Charity that she’s interested in the internship so she can learn more info--even better now that they know the buildings are safe from scrying. Yelle remembers Aguefort’s warning about people watching them and Sam asks Zelda if her “weird boyfriend” (“he’s actually really cool”) is friends with the elven oracle. Zelda says yeah, they’re both friends with Adaine, she can ask about any weird divination stuff. Sam makes sure to specify she should look into TK but NOT Ending, no doubt remembering what happened when she tried to do a spell on her. 

It’s been a big day as Zelda says so they all go to the TGIF-esque Slappy McFinnigans to celebrate (which Sam has problems with--the fact that they’re celebrating I mean, but she’s mainly ignored). They’re quickly kicked out because Katja can’t help herself from trying to brush the mane of their centaur server and they reconvene at the more their speed SlamBurger, where a horse can fully destroy a soda machine to absolutely zero reaction.  Zelda says that Ostentatia was right in that they should all do the quest because it doesn’t close any doors and they have the 2 weeks to figure things out. They all seem a bit more on the same page (though Sam is still pretty frosty towards Ant) and start making plans.

Before they leave, Yelle pulls aside Ant and Sam and says hey, first of all, you two are still linked to Ending from before. Second of all, I know y’all are Going Through It right now and you don’t have to talk about it or make up right away but you need to get your heads in the game and you need to know that you’re both loved and still family. 

Penny, Zelda, Katja, and Ostentatia go back to the museum to try and get more information for their quest. Katja goes to the information desk (horse in tow, of course) and just starts asking information about TK. She’s told that she’s one of the museum’s benefactors and has been missing for years, and hey, do you understand that a museum’s info desk is about where the water fountains and exhibits are, not just random information about the world?

Ostentatia bails her out by calling her over so she can do her plan which is just to walk into the back area like she owns the place. Now, Aguefort students do have a certain level of clearance to be back there and she does have her school ID. But instead of explaining that, she tried to use her Earrings of Diamond Charm to charm the employee she runs into which fails. And then she does a pretty good tag-team lie with Katja about how they NEED to pass a class but that doesn’t fly. Then Ostentatia tries flirting which ALSO doesn’t work. Zelda at this point steps in and just headbuts the dude so they can book it away. I personally would have gone with, “Do you know who we are? We killed the dragon that’s your current main exhibit,” but you know. No backseat adventuring. 

While this is happening, Penny is stealthing like a pro, looking for anything Arcana related. Ostentatia and Katja also did checks (O getting a nat 20) and we’ll go through all their info gathered now. 

Katja basically gets info on TK we kind of already knew. She was a benefactor of the museum. She’s centuries old like Aguefort. She was concerned with consciousness and divinity and specifically how will and divine will manifested, as well as elemental magic.  

Ostentatia gets a lot of info with her Nat 20. She gets a full map to the temple where TK went which is called the Temple of Earth Defiant. The point of the temple is that it’s up in the open air and harsh winds--wind being a symbol of chaos and unpredictability to dwarves--but they still use it as a place to honor their heroes and they rebuild and upkeep it despite the erosion and how hard it is to get there. It’s hallowed from evil and lots of stories about it involve heroes racing there for sanctuary. It was made by dwarves but it’s a pilgrimage site for other primordial beings like goliaths and earth genasi (which is what TK is). There are 3 heroes who have big statues here: Asha Hammerheart (a SUPER dope name I must say), Yvonna of the Sundering Hills , and Kora Ironbrow.

Penny finds that, amongst Kalvaxus’s hoard there were 7 unrecovered artifacts--the Mirrors of the Eidolons (which are the smashed mirrors they found it seems). Eidelons are kind of like the elemental plane version of angels/celestials. They’re primordial (remember Katja saw primordial language on the wall of the dragon cave) and kind of aligned with things like titans and genies. Raw element with no agenda (unlike celestials and demons and such which have a clear alignment which makes up the D&D religious system). It is said by wizards--who look at these things in more of a nuts and bolts way than say clerics who take the fuzzier religions view--that Eidolons are the hands of the gods because gods are beings of spirit--how could they form the physical world. Will of the divine manifested by elemental beings? Sounds right up TK’s alley.

Sam decides she’s desperate enough for information that she calls her mom who she is understandably snippy with. Her mom gives her a contact to talk to when she asks about TK but Sam stonewalls her on show business talk. She tries to play the “mother knows best, you’ll thank me later,” in a kind of Gothel-y way while acting like anything in the past never happened and says Sam is attacking her but when Sam accuses her of neglect, she proves her right by hanging up the phone.

Sam then calls the number and it turns out to be Lola Embers (Fig’s agent) who has been waiting for Sam’s call for ages and wants to talk to her, even though she’s currently chasing her dog across the park. She says she met TK once at a genasi woman networking thing and also says she once saw Charity get into an argument with TK over government funding or not getting a grant or something similar. She then says she’s in a lake trying to get her dog and Sam, being a water genasi who can breathe underwater and also a fundamentally good person even though she’s currently being aggro as hell, goes to the park to help her. Lola assures her that if she’s ready, she’ll help her get new acting gigs and that the world is ready for the new her. 

Yelle meanwhile casts Speak With Plants on some trees near TK’s office and, after a super stoner to stoner conversation, gets a magical footprint trail of where she ran off to when she absconded 12 years ago. 

Antiope (who is in a sports bra because she destroyed her top with the Aguefort logo since that’s what was pinged, revealing in a wild, nat-1 fueled retcon that she got a tramp stamp reading “Leader” in the Red Waste) goes to see Charity to fill out some paperwork, ingratiate herself, and perhaps get some info. Charity has her hot, young, assistant (who Antiope is instantly crushing on) give Ant his shirt (and Charity’s lack of surprise at seeing his 4 horses pulling a chariot tattoo makes the group think they’re def banging). She kind of explains what the Ministry does and Antiope boils it down a bit to snitching on other adventurers. Charity says it’s more of a who watches the watchmen situation and visibly twitches when she has to say the word “snitch”. 

When she takes a second to call Antiope’s dad, she accidentally leaves a tab open on her computer which has TK’s file open (probably up from when the Maidens asked about her earlier). Antiope sneaks a peek and learns that the artifact that TK stole is called the Legendarium Extrodia and it tracks quests. It seems that at some point TK must have had top level access to get her hands on it. It also shows that TK was marked for assassination (which seems like a pretty good reason to get the heck out of dodge). Brennan also says she’s learned enough that she can use the L.E. if she finds it. 

At this point, Yelle tells everyone to come back ASAP so they can follow the magic footsteps. Antiope wants to come but doesn’t want to burn bridges with Charity (or chances with Preston--equally important) so she, at Katja’s suggestion--pretends to have diarrhea and is Nat 20 convincing. Interesting choice for the end of the first meeting with a person you’re crushing on. But Preston is actually pretty supportive as she races out the door as fast as possible.

The Seven follow the footsteps out of Solace and it becomes clear that TK was headed to the dwarven temple Ostentatia learned about. This is a multi-day journey so Cinnamon sings a glorious, magical, horse song and summons mounts for everyone which I will now name because this is obviously the most important part of the episode:

Snowfire - Danielle

Taffodill - Sam

Alagonia - Antiope

Candyheart - Penny

Starforge - Ostentatia 

Strawberry Dancer - Zelda 

Crucial info. 

As they travel, Antiope casts Primeval Awareness and gets that there is something ancient in the mountain. They travel through Pilgrim’s Pass (a village area most travelers to the temple pass through) but find it completely razed to the ground. They investigate. 

With an 18 Survival check, Antiope finds tracks that seem halfway between dog and cat. There are more than 4 legs and it’s hard to tell how old they are because there’s not a lot of rain in the area. They could have been left long ago and been undisturbed. Regardless, these are clearly from monstrosities. On a 26 History Check, Katja knows that this area used to be protected by Blink Dogs (teleporting dogs) but they seem to be all gone now. On a 22 Nature check, Yelle sees a weird feather made out of plant material. It seems like fae stuff but bad vibes. On an 18 Insight check, Sam knows this was a purposeful slaughter.

And on Penny’s 30 Arcana check, oh boy. Penny finds broken common scrawled on the wall in human blood talking about a queen of the mountain who rules the skies. That only the queen may see and none may see themselves. And that the people were told to destroy the seeing glass and did not obey. In from of that message is a bear hide covering something magic. Penny lifts it with reckless abandon and sees tons of mirror shards.

Friendship bracelets! She thinks.

Gotcha bitch, the thing in the mirror says.

Uh-oh.   

Penny calls over her friends to let them knows she may have made a tiny mistake. The group is pretty split between, “Understandable,” and “Girl, WHAT?” In her defense, she did try to cast Friends on the person on the other side of the mirror shards but that’s not enough to stop an entire pack of 50-60 Displacer Beast (magic tentacle cats)/Blink Dog hybrid monstrosities along with the Harpy Queen (voice from the mirror) and her plant feathered harpy minions to start rapidly making their way to their location. 

It is at this point that Ostentatia remembers that abominations and monstrosities cannot step into the temple which means it’s time to RUN. 

And NOW it’s combat time. 

The premise of this fight is that the girls are on their horses, moving towards the center of the temple as fast as they can while fending off the closest enemies. I won’t give an exact play by play but the two highlights are as follows:

Yelle conjures up a bunch of geese with raptor stats (...so normal geese) to swarm the head cat/dog abomination and has to do a truly stunning amount of math for which she is rewarded with SEVENTY POINTS OF DAMAGE. 

Antiope does some insane arrow trickery and gets the Queen Harpy in the wing (which Ostentatia helpfully gets on video so she can show Preston later) and then forces her to take damage as she falls. If not for an extremely lucky Box of Doom nat 20, she may have been down for the count. Antiope still comes away with more than FIFTY points of damage on her though. 

And we end the episode mid-combat! We will catch up on our girls next time!

Superlatives 

Penny: Most Likely to Make Friends During a Hostage Situation 

As a companion to Danielle’s superlative last episode, Penny gets this award for reading or misreading every situation as an opportunity to make friends or make friendship bracelets for the ones she already has. 

Random Thoughts

Did you guys notice that with Katja having Cinnamon and Charity’s assistant being Preston, that’s two of the main pet NPCs from A Crown of Candy?

Antiope’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Rail against the dying of the light! Why are you OK with this?

Penny’s Reaction to Yelle Saying That Maybe Things Ending Isn’t So Bad: Entropy is TERRIBLE! Everything needs order!

The greasy cashier’s response to Ostentatia’s flirty, “Come here often?” is “To my job? Honestly no.” Brennan? Chef’s kiss. 

My other fave line this episode is from Sam. “I believe Cinnamon fucks.”

It’s very cute that Penny is like, “I gotta text Riz about this Eidelon stuff!” Not because she wants help. Just so they can geek out together. 

The joke that Brennan didn’t think about the birds is so funny considering all the bird facts in Misfits.

Also re Birds attacking: “They made a movie about this Brennan!” 

Good on Ant for refusing an Aguefort sweatshirt from Charity when offered after the little scrying incident before. Remembering things like this saves lives. 

It has been brought up several times that Ending isn’t necessarily Bad just Ancient and Powerful and I trust Yelle’s vibe check but also, like, a forest fire doesn’t have malice behind it but it can still devastate a city while it clears out dead trees that need to be cleared, you know? Not ready to start wild speculation yet but I am curious. And am similarly curious about the sisters Ending has mentioned. Oh and the parallels of 7 Maidens, 7 mirrors. It’s all there, we just need a little more info. 

Honestly, get you a man who will see you rushing out of a building, loudly claiming to have diarrhea, and instead of being grosses out will just supportively confess his own stomach issues. I wish he was just a little younger cause I want that for Ant. 

I do like that D20 has been playing a little more fast and loose with the RP ep/combat ep format. I think it really helps with story flow. 

In this episode Antiope and Brennan as various non-Zelda NPCs rolled 2 Nat 20s. O rolled one. Ant rolled 1 Nat 1--which was on a self imposed roll to see how she responded to Sephie’s tramp stamp improv. And O may have rolled one for initiative also but I wasn’t sure. 

Peace: Clowns to the West

Previous: Would It Be Enough? 

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Angst / Slice of Life

Rating: PG13

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse/manipulation, Mentions of rehab, Scandals, Mention of fighting 

Summary: Across the globe, Big Hit grapples with Jungkook’s outburst. 

Listening: peace by Taylor Swift 

This is officially the last chapter of peace. Mirrorball follows. Illicit Affairs precedes.  

Peace Master List

         “We can’t make them break up,” Mr. Cho, a Big Hit lawyer, told Bang and Sejin.

         “Why not?” Bang asked.

         “Both sides signed an agreement.” Ms. Lee, a second lawyer, reminded them.

         “It’s in his contract, they have to remain secret,” Bang responded.

         “They’ve been together almost three years and they’ve never had a slip up,” Mr. Yang said.

         “This isn’t a slip up! This is a total disregard for decorum! For rules! For boundaries!” Bang yelled, voice echoing against the walls of the conference room.

         “Do we know why Jungkook punched him?” Sejin inquired.

         “Not yet,” Mr. Cho answered, eyes moving to Ms. Lee and Mr. Yang, conferring in silent glances.

         “His hand is okay though,” Ms. Lee responded. “We got confirmation.”

         “Good, who is posting it?” Mr. Yang asked.

         “A few tweets have surfaced, no one on Weverse has said anything, and it doesn’t seem to be sold to anyone, yet,” Ms. Cho informed them. Her spectacled eyes stayed glued on her screen as she fielded emails, tweets and Weverse posts, mining for a hint that anyone knew what transpired.

         “Do we have the name?” Bang wanted to know.

         “We’re working on it, the lawyers in LA are fighting the clock to get the footage and receipts from the restaurant so we can narrow it down, we’ve got a team working on tracing him,” Mr. Cho said.

         Mr. Cho, Ms. Lee and Mr. Yang had worked for Big Hit for all of three years. They had joined when Namjoon had led the insurrection, when BTS had demanded new contracts and lawyers that worked for the good of everyone, not only the executives of Big Hit. They worked closely with the band, fought for them, protected their rights and stood by them when Bang and Co were unreasonable. They had combed through the agency, ridding it of lawyers whose integrity was compromised, whose morals allowed them to turn a blind eye when discussions of what had happened to Jungkook occurred. They were poison, and Cho, Lee and Yang were resolute in their decisions to rid the company of them.

         “The LA lawyers are arguing it was a hate crime, the man attacked first and Jungkook defended himself and y/n,” Mr. Yang said.  

         “No one knows about his fight with Namjoon, do they?” Sejin inquired.

         “It’s been three years, sir, if someone knows, they would’ve sold it by now,” Ms. Lee told him.

         “This cannot get out.” Bang reiterated.

         “What if it does?” Sejin questioned.

         “Jungkook pays for having it scrubbed from the web,” Bang responded quickly.

         “What will ARMY say?” Sejin pushed. The ever-present fear, the thorn in their side, what would ARMY do?

         “They’ll be livid,” Bang responded, looking at Sejin.

         “Angry at the person who assaulted Jungkook, or Jungkook for having a secret relationship?” Sejin asked.

         “Both, they want Jungkook for themselves. Not only is he in a committed relationship, which he has lied about for nearly three years, but he met her when he was sent to rehab, and he’s punching men over her,” Bang ticked off each reason on his chubby fingers, not pausing when Sejin wanted to interrupt. “They’ll find the man and harass him until the day he dies.”

         “Are they closer to getting married?” Ms. Lee interrupted.

         “We should ask,” Sejin said.

         “We asked when Jungkook came to us the first time,” Bang reminded him.

         “He didn’t have an answer,” Sejin shrugged.

         “He specifically asked that he be given the chance to see where it could go,” Mr. Cho had pulled up the initial agreement, signed years ago, never amended.

         “They’d already been dating for six months at that point,” Mr. Yang said.

         “He was too good at hiding it,” Bang whispered, eyes drifting from Sejin to the pictures that lined the office, images from concerts, award shows, when they received their medals and spoke at the UN. Images of their accomplishments, of their status, of their power.

         “Namjoon told him he had to tell us,” Sejin spoke softly, pulling Bang from his reverie.

         “They gave us answers to our questions,” Bang responded, voice still soft.

         ”I’ve never met a woman so angry before,” Mr. Cho said laughing.

         “She was rightfully angry with us,” Sejin stated.

         Bang’s eyes grew wide, creases in his forehead appearing as his glare bored into Sejin, “She nearly tore them apart.”

         “We nearly tore them apart” Sejin corrected.

         “We?” Bang’s voice had gone from a docile whisper to a yell, a change in decibels that surprised Sejin.

         “We asked Seokjin, Yoongi and Namjoon to ask those questions. We gave them the list, we told them when they had to do it. We manipulated Jungkook for years. We have nearly torn them apart so many times, it’s a miracle they are standing.” Sejin was fuming, the total disregard for their behavior sickened him. He hated the way Bang ignored their actions, hoping no one would notice if they were quiet about it. They signed the bands new contracts, they agreed to allow Jungkook to date and ease up on their restrictions. They made plans to be better and now, with Jungkook hurting, they were discussing the possibility of hurting him again.

         “And out of the ashes, Jungkook’s relationship,” Mr. Yang replied.

         “Out of the ashes, Jungkook rises, again and again,” Sejin corrected.

         “They came back with nothing,” Bang repeated.

         “Disdain and anger,” Again Sejin corrected Bang’s revisionist memory. “They felt that before they spoke with her.”

         “They’ve done a good job keeping their relationship quiet. Can’t we extend them a little grace?” Ms. Lee said, bringing the men back to the conversation at hand.

         “No, they signed a contract,” Bang snapped.

         “It was self-defense,” Mr. Yang reminded him.

         “No one will care,” Bang said.

         “They’ll want her name, how long they’ve been together, how they got together,” Mr. Cho listed the questions they too had asked.

         “We tell them that Jungkook met her on contract mandated anger management and rehab? That we sent him to an outpatient treatment on the ruse of working on music and choreography in LA, when he was really in therapy because of the decade of abuse he endured at our hands?” Sejin countered Mr. Cho, angered that they continued to gloss over these inalienable truths.

         “Don’t forget that Namjoon went out there too,” Mr. Yang added.

         “Yoongi and Seokjin as well,” Ms. Lee aforementioned.

         “They met at a restaurant by chance, that part is true,” Mr. Cho took a sip of his water, tired from the hours long meeting.

         “While he was in rehab,” Mr. Yang amended.

         “That we drove him to,” Sejin interjected. Unlike Bang, he kept his fury under the surface, simmering, bursts of steam the only sign that he was angered.

         “Or that our agreement stated if he attended treatment, he could date,” Mr. Cho shrugged, tossing back a few aspirin with his water.

         “Him and Namjoon, two relationships,” Bang muttered.

         “Both Americans,” Sejin added.

         “It’s less of a headache, less to hide,” Bang stated.

         “How long until the rest come knocking?” Sejin asked.

         “We’ll have to deal with their, sexualities,” Mr. Yang reminded them.

         “They can’t be gay and a pop star,” Bang scoffed.

         “They can in almost every other country in the world,” Ms. Lee told them. She had been a lawyer in Korea for years, and never had she been so conflicted about the integrity of her career as she was working for Big Hit.

         “They can’t leave us, do we have enough to stand upon?” Bang’s mind was moving to the worst-case scenario, Jungkook breaking his contract, the other six following. They were a unit, they were a team, they couldn’t stand without each other. They didn’t have to, and they never wanted to.

         “Financially? Yes, for a while,” Mr. Yang answered.

         “But what will our name mean?” Sejin pondered aloud, “Our legacy if the seven of them decide either after their next negotiations, after service, or before, that they don’t want to be represented by an organization that denies them love, relationships, a family?”

         “We follow the same policies as every other agency,” Bang said.

         “Yes, but do they have as much power and clout as we do?” Sejin questioned. “Who will we be if we don’t let them date who they want, love who they want, marry who they want?”

         “Page Six,” Ms. Lee called.

         “Who?” Bang asked, temper rising.

         “Page Six and TMZ, they’ve got it,” Ms. Lee clarified.

         “Get it down!” Bang roared.

         “What if they won’t?” Mr. Yang asked.

         Bang took a deep breath, regaining his composure before he spoke, “No amount of money is too much.”

         “How much is Jungkook willing to pay?” Mr. Cho inquired.

         “Call and -

         “Don’t call, get it down and we can negotiate with him later,” Bang instructed.

         “They’ve got video,” Ms. Lee told them.

         “Video!” Bang and Sejin yelled.

         “Let me see it, now!” Bang roared.

         The video was tossed on the screen, and in grainy footage, they could see the man approach you. They could see him grab you, Jungkook telling him to back off. In fuzzy audio they heard bits and pieces of the various slurs and they watched as you and Jungkook froze before his fist collided. The video was coupled with dozens of bad photos, none miraculously, capturing his tattoos. In the rush to leave the bar, there was a single instant, a moment, where the undercut can be seen, the earrings flash, a slight blur of ink, and a side profile that looks almost, almost, like Jungkook flashes across the screen.

         The team sat, clicking through the photos, watching the video over and over. For what it’s worth, and it’s worth a lot, you never yell his name. You never identified the man you’re with, and other than a blur of skin, your face couldn’t be made out. The only thing that was obvious was the man spewing hate. His volume louder than anyone else’s.

         It’s in the moments of watching the video over and over, looping the audio, sending it to engineers to enhance, that more photos began popping up, better quality, videos with clear shots of Jungkook’s face.

         Bang and Sejin are on the phone with lawyers and conglomerates, trying to pay by the hundred thousand, reaching out to their already made contacts in hopes of stopping this.

         They could barely admit it, but they were scared.

Scared of ARMY’s reaction.

Scared of what this means for Namjoon and the others.

Scared for the safety of you and Jungkook.

Scared their stocks will tank.

Scared that BTS will walk.

Scared that their lies and manipulation will come to light.

Scared that hate speech and racial slurs will spill out from the dark corners they’ve been hiding.

Scared of the power they created.

Scared of the dynamic they were breathing in.

         But more than that, they’re scared that they have, again, in an attempt to control him, given Jungkook too much.

         It never matters what Big Hit has taken from him. Only what he’s given, and the promise of more in the future. A scandal of this size, a hidden lover, unsure if Jungkook would do anything to stop it, was enough for them to pay extra to have teams monitor for the next several hours, weeks, even months to ensure it doesn’t get out. It’s enough for them to put Jungkook on stricter orders, to attempt to amend his contract, to attempt to cage him in. They’ve got him on his tiptoes, spinning, shining for them with the threat of shattering looming above them all.

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

『 adam brody. forty. cis male. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that DANIEL ABRAMS from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BROODING & -EVASIVE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool HORROR AUTHOR and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +DEBONAIR & +ELOQUENT. i hope i see them around again! 

classically rolls in ridiculously late bc i forgot i had to work last night & then proceeded to sleep in today wooo !!  good afternoon ghouls, it’s ya girl maia, finally here to deliver the definition of hot mess with good intentions.

GENERAL

FULL NAME.    daniel elijah abrams.

NICKNAMES.    dan, danny.

AGE & BIRTHDATE.    40 years old ; may 4, 1980.

GENDER & PRONOUNS.    cis male ; he/him.

ORIENTATION.    heterosexual.

MARITAL STATUS.    estranged.

RELIGION.    jewish ( non-practicing ).

OCCUPATION.    horror author.

INSPIRATION.     bill denbrough ( it ), donnie darko ( donnie darko ), lucas scott ( one tree hill ), stephen king.

PHYSICAL

HAIR COLOUR.    black.

EYE COLOUR.    dark brown.

BUILD.    athletic.

MARKS.     freckles scarcely spread across his entire body.

TATTOOS.    none.

PIERCINGS.    none.

HEIGHT.    5'11".

FACECLAIM.    adam brody.

PERSONALITY

ZODIAC.    taurus.

ALIGNMENT.    chaotic neutral.

HOGWARTS.    ravenclaw.

LABEL.    the arcane.

POSITIVE TRAITS.    cheeky, debonair, driven, eloquent, resilient, solicitous.

NEGATIVE TRAITS.    brooding, evasive, inquisitive, sarcastic, stoic, stubborn.

HOBBIES.    smokes like a chimney while writing until he forgets what day of the week it is, dabbles in hunting & fishing (thanks @ his dad), labels all crime / thriller genres as ‘predictable’ but continues to watch them, obsesses over & relentlessly criticizes his own work, drinks heavily & passionately plays moonlight sonata or fur elise as if he’s betoven’s disciple.

BACKGROUND

PLACE OF BIRTH.    california.

CURRENT RESIDENCE.    mapleview, north carolina.

NATIONALITY.    american.

ETHNICITY.    ashkenazi jewish.

PARENTS.   judith miller & mr abrams.

SIBLINGS.    mia miller.

BIRTH ORDER.    eldest.

CHILDREN.    penelope abrams.

EDUCATION.     university of california, los angeles; bachelor of arts in english.

LANGUAGES.    english, some spanish & french.

HISTORY

EARLY LIFE.    born to THE judith miller and some newspaper editor, daniel was raised by the latter and notoriously abandoned by the former. well, not completely abandoned - there’s an old shoebox containing a few letters as proof - but that was the only source of communication in their otherwise absent relationship. while little danny boy didn’t fully understand why he couldn’t see his mother, he sought out an alternative solution by watching her movies. his father wasn’t aware, at first, and dan created this extravagant fantasy of the person he thought she was based on the roles she played. however, once papa abrams found out his son was watching these movies (which were probably not fit for children in the first place lmao oop), he begrudgingly revealed the bitter truth. being forced to come to terms with the fact that his own mother willingly abandoned him with his father, daniel didn’t fully understand what it meant; he couldn’t properly process why. the hurt of absent mother was expressed more out of anger, feeling as though there must have been something wrong with him. there were fewer and fewer letters sent to judith until he gave up altogether and thus, dan’s out of control behavior was born.

TEENAGE FEVER.    SUICIDE MENTION TW.  he struggled in school. his emotions betrayed him. instead of relishing a happy childhood, daniel found himself pushing everyone away, getting into fights, sneaking out late at night to run around the city streets with his friends and get into all sorts of trouble with them. he couldn’t count on his hands how many times the police picked him up and brought him to his dad’s doorstep. it only got worse once one of his best friends was found dead, written off as a suicide, though it didn’t add up in dan’s eyes and seemed so much more sinister. the young man was nearly deemed to be a lost cause, until he discovered his passion for writing. 

                                  language arts or literature was the last thing anyone would ever think to group with daniel abrams. but his english teacher noticed how well he could articulate his thoughts and feelings on paper, and submitted one of his pieces to a writing contest, which earned dan the win and a cash prize. bewildered by a talent he hadn’t even realized was in him, daniel embraced it. he started writing in a journal ( which he kept safely tucked away beneath the mattress of his bed ), documenting every feeling and thought as a way to express his emotions in a more productive manner. this talent earned him a full ride scholarship to ucla with a major in literature and plans of diving into some sort or creative writing career or perhaps becoming an english teacher, to follow in the footsteps of his high school teacher who he came to idolize.

                                  mere days into his freshman year, however, his high school sweetheart showed up in the middle of the night at his dorm with a positive pregnancy test. it was then the chaotic world as he knew it turned a new leaf, revealing a silver lining in the form of their daughter, penelope, who daniel hadn’t a clue, just yet, would save him. and so a shotgun wedding was quickly planned around the pair, both families either completely supportive or in utter disbelief. it was quick, it was cheap(ish), and it was stressful as all heck. but they were young, and in love, and were looking forward to starting a family together, despite it being a little earlier than initially planned.

“ADULT”HOOD.    fast forward five years, and they’re signing divorce papers. fortunately, it wasn’t messy. the two had simply grown apart as they matured in their respective ways, and remaining together was only causing a rift to develop between the two. the last thing they wanted, for the sake of their daughter, was built up resentment to tear the little family apart. his wife, who daniel initially thought to be the love of his life, blossomed into an absolute goddess; she was ambitious and knew exactly what she wanted. daniel, on the other hand, was still somewhat caught up in his ‘bad boy’ habits of drinking excessively and his career was still pretty up in the air. the two just didn’t compliment each others’ lifestyles anymore.

                                   daniel moved out but remained in california, settling for a bachelor’s apartment where he was able to have penelope every weekend. during this time, he finally cracked down and worked on finishing a novel he’d started years prior. within a year, he found a publisher who took interest in his grotesque works, and by the time daniel was twenty seven, his first bestseller hit the shelves, changing his life for the better with the ability to provide for his daughter without stress of landing another odd job ever again.

                                   as his fame increased, so did his desire to slink back into the shadows away from the limelight. at first, he enjoyed the wholesome book signings by day and grungy celebratory benders by night. but it grew old pretty fast and he certainly didn’t want to end up as another washed up shmuck. so, on a whim, daniel decided to move out of california completely, removing himself from the toxic lifestyle he’d grown accustomed to and shacking up on a beautiful piece of land in the rocky mountains of north carolina. the serenity and scenery certainly aided in his inspiration, as well as his unacknowledged lowkey addictions slowly being rehabilitated from his bloodstream.

OLD YELLER.    now, in his utmost prime at forty years old, he’s written numerous cult classics, a few of which have successful movie adaptations. he was lucky enough to land himself in a second marriage, though.... that one is now deteriorating as well because he literally doesn’t know how to maintain a healthy relationship. he received full custody of his daughter when she was sixteen, under the unfortunate circumstance of her mother’s untimely death. although they’d been separated for nearly twenty years, daniel was still very much affected by the loss, more so empathetically for penelope. he’s still hooked on the drink, though he’s definitely calmed down quite a bit from when he was a young buck. basically a messy, depressy old soul who uses sarcasm to deflect his true feelings.

CONNECTIONS

ESTRANGED WIFE.    first marriage was a bust, and the second is turning out to be no better. they haven’t hit rock bottom just yet, in his opinion (which would be finalizing a divorce lmao), and he’s unsure if they should work things out or not but also really.......doesn’t wanna go through the process of another divorce. plus he likes her and deep down adores their bickering. the reason(s) why things started falling apart between them can be discussed of course. lowkey debating on whippin this up as a big official wc but.... if anybody already here would like to snag it, i would 100% mclove it.

COLLABORATORS.    literally anyone he’s worked with over the years, whether they be fellow authors, publishers/publicists, journalists, screenplay writers, etc. yeehooo the possibilities are endless !!

FOLLOWERS.    anyone hooked on his books, whether devout fans from his early beginnings or people who newly discovered his fictional writings.

FORMER CLASSMATES.    could be from high school or university, but he was in california for the better part of his life aka not a mapleview native. former friends to foes & anything in between. dan’s that one kid who spiked the punch bowl at all the dances and years later probably snuck in party favors to snort off the bathroom sink during their high school reunion lmao whew !!

ANYTHING.    literally anything. i’m my groggy state of mind on my lack of creativity rn so please, i’m beggin. if daniel can enrich your characters’ lives in any way, shape, or form, hit me up and we’ll hatch a plan.

Altrovough: Adventure on Every Horizon

Chapter 1: Out of the Dark I hadn't been playing for six months. Not because it had become too expensive. Not because work became too much for me. Not because I got a significant other. Not because the community was bad or anything like that. No, I hadn't played in six months because my avatar was stuck in a trap.

            There are glitches, you see. Somehow in this modern VR experience there are still glitches. And with glitches comes assholes who use those glitches to their advantage.

            So, here's what happened to me: Me and my party went into a dungeon. We split up. Two went one way, two went the other, and I (though I protested) was by myself. Even though I had a lantern when I walked down into the hallway it was completely black. That should have been my first clue that this was a trap of some sort. My lantern still had fire, but no light was being produced from it. Being promised treasure and being a dumbass, I continued forward into the dark. After walking just far enough into the hallway to make the doorway disappear, I sprung a tile trap.

            The floor beneath me sloped downward and I fell rolling after it. Head over heels I fell until I smacked my face and passed out.

            I woke up in chains. I was propped up against a wall. My wrists above my head were on short chains, and my ankles on longer chains.

            Okay, I thought, no biggy. I'll just restart the day.

            Okay, so that didn't work. Which is weird... I'll call my party members...

            No service? What the fuck? That's not even an element in this game!

            Well, uh, okay I guess I'll just bust out of these—rusty—old—chains!

            ...

            Nope.

            After exhausting my options, then exhausting them again I logged off.

For months I kept receiving messages that players were interacting with my avatar, so I would log on, only for them to laugh at me and be utterly and completely unhelpful.

            My party visited me four separate times. And all of those times were to make fun or my misfortune, even though they knew that ANYTIME they could unlock the chains and release me. The first time it was all of them together. The captain Jockster (or Jerkstar as I call him) had squatted down in front of me and said, "this is what you get, you know. Playing this way has consequences. Thanks for taking one for the team." Then he had laughed like the drug addicted jackass he was. The others laughed with him. The second time it was only Aliciandria (our rouge) and Marlquan (our cleric). They had been discussing what to do with me when Alicandria accidentally kicked my foot and I responded, and I woke up to them talking about if they should just kill me so that they wouldn't have to worry about how people were judging them for not helping me. The third time it was just Havanio (the sorcerer). He woke me up, then sat across from me and said nothing for an hour. He just sat there like a fucking douchebag and looked at me like I was some caged beast put there for his entertainment. And the last time doesn't matter.

            Players of all kinds and from all districts would stop by only to laugh at me. I became a joke, and even more that that I became a meme! Screenshots of my avatar hanging there like a prisoner spread all over the internet. To add to my torture, a player whose avatar was a homely goblin woman would harass me constantly.

            Behind the happy smile of someone who literally baked cookies for visitors was a demented maniac. This guy—I know she is a he because he fucking DM'd me dick pics. I think he harassed me for three reasons: 1) I fell right into his trap 2) My avatar is a hot man and I think Little Miss Goblin Man is gay or more likely bi and uncomfortable with his sexuality 3) I think he thought he figured out that the gender of my avatar and the gender of myself might not be the same, and he was definitely trying to intimidate me. This asshole physically and sexually harassed my avatar, and I couldn't even report it!

            Not like I didn't try to report it—when I did the staff would send in an NPC (Non-Player Character) and see literally nothing. So, in this trap: it's a glitch mixed with a non-invasive virus; meaning the virus only effects this one spot and not the whole server or game. It can't get into your computer. It like can't get past the firewalls or something I don't really know.

            So, not only did this jack-wad figure out a way to trap me, but he also figured out how to keep his dirty deeds hidden from the staff. For almost three months I continued to check in. Two weeks after the initial incident I jumped at every UAN (Unconscious Avatar Notification) but I quickly learned that nobody wanted to help me, they all just wanted to see if the rumors were true and maybe get a picture. Eventually I stopped responding and eventually my avatar fell out of the popular meme rotation.

...

BEEP. BEEP. UAN! Someone's interacting with your character! 😊

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!! Someone's interacting with your character.

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!!! Respond you asshole! You should log on!

"Uhg! Fine!"

I left my lunch (thinking I would return to it real soon) and went to my game room to log on.

I woke to a girl poking my cheek. I snapped at her fingers.

"Oh! Fuck!" She pulled her hand away, shaking off the close call, "you're hard to wake up! Not much for answering your UAN's huh?"

Standing over me was a girl of maybe nineteen. Her clothes draped and flowed about figure in Cleric glory. Great. A fucking cleric. She wouldn't've stood out more. Dark skin with undoubtably "sea green" eyes. Her hair was done up in some completely unattainable style that was loopy with braids and pigtails sectioned into pompoms; it was a shade of maroon that says, "I'm a supporting character, but I want to think I'm a main character!"

"Is it true you've been down here six months?"

"O.O.G."

"What?"

"Out. Of. Game. I've been 'down here' six months out of game."

"Holy cow, man! That's a while."

"Did you need something?"

"Excuse me?"

I made cold eye contact with her, "Did. You. Need. Something?"

"Uh... wellllllll, I heard a rumor that there was some poor fuck stuck down here who can't get himself out."

"Oh. Fantastic." An awkward silence split between us, "well, thanks for stopping by. Take a screenshot, it'll last longer."

She stared blankly at me, "no. I think you misunderstand. I'm here to help you."

"What."

"I'm here to help you."

I couldn't think. Couldn't fathom this thing unfolding in front of me, "what?"

She began to fiddle with the chains on my wrist.

"Wait, no!"

She looked down at me the way a mom would look at her two-year-old who says he doesn't want to eat mashed potatoes because they have eyes and he doesn't want to eat mashed eyeballs.

"Wait." As my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I asked her, "what do you want from me? Like, you—you can't just want to let me go. You must want something from me."

She sat back down on her heels and looked away, her lips followed her eyes away from me and back, and she said, "Well, no. Not really. Like I said: I heard there might be some poor fuck who was trapped and couldn't get out on his own. I thought for my first adventure, I'd go get 'im." Then she went right back to messing with the chains.

I laughed and shook my head.

She stood up and put her hands on her hips, pouting. Lordy, she was cute. The puzzled look on her face gave me some hope that maybe she might actually be able to save me. With a huff she sat down again and confessed, "you're the only reason I got this game. You're a meme, a legend. You're so classic that you're practically nonexistent. Every time this game comes up in social media you're mentioned. On all the subreddits, and in the deepest parts of tumblr—you're there. I just had to come see if you were real, and I was—and still am—planning that if you were actually here that I would help you out."

"No catch?"

"No catch."

I smiled to myself, knowing now that it was I who had the advantage. I could use her. After all, every party needs a healer. Now I just had to make sure she wouldn't ditch me anytime soon. "Are you sure you don't want to try and find a catch? I was a level 52 before this whole ordeal."

She perked up, "what's your level now, cowboy?"

"35."

"What?! You're so dilapidated and all your equipment was stolen. H-HOW?"

"Cause I'm just that awesome." This should do it.

"I've changed my mind!"

Perfect.

"I want you as a bodyguard! For two years—"

"One year."

"Alright, one year." She looked like she wanted to ask me to shake on it, but then thought better of it, "can I please help you out now?"

"Yes."

Very quickly, and with very little trouble she released me from my chains. Bruises and scars tattooed my wrists and ankles. How the coding of this game works is literally so fucking far beyond me. I pulled my limbs into myself, feeling the stiff resistance of time.

"Can you get up?"

Without needing to consider it I said, "no, I don't think so. Do you have any potions that will give me a boost?"

"Oh yes! I knew that if I found you, you'd need medical help immediately, so I spent all the gold from my—"

"All your gold??? Are you stupid?"

"Whaaaa? I-I... I—just—"

"Whatever. We'll figure it out. What potions do you have?"

She nodded very curtly, and pulled up her bag contents and read them off to me: "fifteen Good Health Potions, fifteen Great Health Potions, fifteen Fantastic Health Potions, ten Boost 'Ems, seven Leaves Of Health, two Gladiator Liquid Bandages and two Beats of Life. What'll it be?"

"Gimme a Boost 'Em."

She tapped on the icon and a Boot 'Em materialized in her hand. She put it out to me, but when I grabbed for it, she pulled away. I of course made eye contact with her, thinking she was gonna pull a fast one on me. Instead she said, "Valhalla."

"What?" My immediate confusion fell away into fear. This must be a trick. But why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense. I'm clearly smarter than her. It's me that's tricking her, why would she—

"That's my name. Valhalla."

The interruption of my panicked thinking threw me off guard. That's a stupid name. Before I could tell her how stupid I thought her name was she put the Boost 'Em in my hand.

Taking the potion, I had trouble removing the cork. Valhalla silently offered her help, but I shooed her away. I grumbled something about how I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.

With much effort and significant struggling, I yanked the cork out and threw it over my shoulder. Only for it to bounce off the wall and back into my lap. With the kind of drunken vigor seen at taverns I swallowed the creamy blue liquid. The moment it touched my lips, a feeling of power hit me like caffeine in a low-calorie energy drink. Going down my throat it felt like warm milk and honey. Electrifying energy flowed outward from my middle. It snaked its way through my arms and legs. It made my fingers and toes tingle like pins and needles.

I leapt up, a new man. I knew this wouldn't last long, and I knew that later this would end up hurting me more, but fuck.

Fuck this feels good.

"Do you have any weapons?"

"Uh, yeah." Valhalla pulled up her bag again and tapped on the Equipment tab. "What do you want?"

There were certainly more weapons than should have been in her bag if she had just started, let alone had spent all her starter gold on potions. I chose to ignore this. "I'll take the mace." I reached up and engaged with the weapon. The heavy steel handle materialized in my outstretched hand. By the look on her face, it must have been the first time Valhalla had seen anyone engage. I'm glad I was able to be the one to show her, in all the glory I could muster.

"This is a pretty nasty weapon, baby." I swung it a couple of times, feeling the weight; testing the blow power.

"I picked it up because I liked the color!"

I laughed, "I guess I overlooked the purple steel, but this will do nicely."

"Nicely for what?"

"Do me a favor, doll. You see that door over there? Go knock."

"Okay, but," she came right up close to me and stuck her face in mine, "I'm not a fucking doll."

"Noted."

I followed her as she warily walked to the door of the goblin woman's kitchen. Valhalla knocked timidly on the door.

"Come in!" The goblin wench cooed, "I just baked some fresh cookies! We can pose next to the body if you want!"

I caught Valhalla frown and furrow her brows at "the body".

Oh how sweet this will taste, I thought as adrenaline pumped through my veins. I passed in front of Valhalla whispering, "stay back."

I slid through the open door. The goblin hag had her back to me, this couldn't have been planned more perfectly. I crept up behind her with my mace raised above my head and my six-foot-five shadow engulfed her. She turned around with horror, a tray of cookies in hand. Her eyes widened and she tensed as if she were to scream.

But I didn't give her a chance.

"Your actions have consequences."

I let the mace fall down upon her head. The crack of her skull resonated harmoniously with the clang of the cookie sheet on the ground. Giddy joy sprung forth from me as I smashed the mace into her again and again. The second blow shattered her ribcage. Her ribs sprang up and splintered through her tissue. Smashing her hands made her fingers pop off, they flew in all directions. A blow to her thigh created a fountain. Warm blood hit my bare chest, my exposed legs. It splattered on my face. It coated my hands. It made the mace slippery in my hands. Her blood soaked what little was left of my shorts. It sprayed the walls, the kitchy table and chairs, the coffee pot and baking ingredients. Blood decorated the cookies that now laid scattered on the floor. 

Satisfied by the pulpy mound of oozing, squirting flesh and bone I subsided. Reaching down, I tore a blood-soaked rag from her dress. Turning to the wall I wrote LEAVE.

Standing back, I let out a heavy sigh. The effects of the Boost 'Em would soon wear off. I turned around and cracked my neck. I looked over in Valhalla's direction, but over her head. "I need some new clothes." I declared.

She stared at me. Her eyes pulled mine in and her mouth morphed into a grin, "fuck. YEAH!"

"Huh??????"

"Dude she called you 'the body'. And we both know that she was the reason you were stuck down here. Plus: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I am so glad I came to find you! Best $130 dollars I ever spent." She then ran up and hugged me. The contact made me tense up.

I shook out of her embrace, "let's get out of this dungeon."

She led the way out. It was different from the way I had come in. We walked down the hallway that I had stared at for so long, hoping that somebody, anybody would come for me. Not ten feet into the tunnel we turned a corner and there was the exit. My stomach dropped. I felt sick.

It had been so close the whole time. Learning this made me want to revive that sonofabitch just to kill her all over again.

Emerging into the sunlight hurt my eyes. I was blinded.

What a sight we must have been. Myself: six-five, soaked in blood, starved, almost naked. Her: small, sweet-looking, fresh-faced, and not a drop of blood on her.

I still couldn't really see when somebody started talking. "Hey, are you guys okay?"

"Oh, we're fine," Valhalla sang sweetly sang sweetly next to me. At that very moment, I lost all my energy. My health bar plummeted, and sirens rang through my headset. My vison flashed red. I fell to the ground.

The group that had approached watched, alarmed. Valhalla looked like she wanted to eat her words.

Stupid girl. She had no idea what to do.

I had fifteen seconds before I'd die. This had happened once before when my former party and I had just started the game. We got attacked by a level 20 dragon and one strike had me seeing red.

10 seconds.

They were bickering about the best course of action. They had no idea I was on the brink of death. Valhalla stared at me looking like a lost idiot.

The sky began to spin. Valhalla's blurry silhouette swayed above me.

Did she forget about all that stuff she bought? How many gaming hours did she log before she came to find me? Did she even go on the tutorial adventure? I mean, you can technically skip it, but—

"BEAT." I coughed out then my head lolled.

The party erupted into tense panic.

5 seconds.

Oh please, please Valhalla. Please don't let me die. After all, you told me you came to save me. So save me!

Just as if she could hear my internal pleas, a beat was shoved in my mouth and my jaw forced upward from the outside to crush it. The juicy tuber gushed in my mouth. I felt Valhalla's hand on my lips, pressing down to keep everything in. I'd heard rumors of the experience of Beat of Life. Some players said they almost wish their party members would have let them die. The juice was hot, potent, and sour. So sour is made my jaw ache. It felt like someone was twisting a wheel, making my jaw tighter and tighter. My teeth felt like they were going to pop out of their gums. It burned my throat, made my eyes water and my nose run. My stomach did not want to accept it. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn't move. Hot flashes waved through my body. An ocean of churning heat pushed and pulled at my organs, my brain. I could feel myself sweating. Growing hotter by the moment. My head swam. My limbs grew numb. I passed out.

I was saved. Unconscious, but saved.

But Valhalla didn't know that. Stupid girl, skipping the tutorial. What was she thinking? Guess I'd have to ask her when I woke up.

And so I took off my headset and it was dusk.

RECAP: SESSION 15

The party has just embarked on their (soon-to-be) months long journey on the Long Road, the only real path between the western part of Gosha and So’Joh’s capital city. (CRIT MISS from Rhododendron) the first two weeks’ worth of the journey end up taking an entire month, and Rhododendron (CRIT MISS CON save) ends up giving herself, Jun, and Inigo (CRIT MISS CON save) food poisoning - Rhododendron and Inigo end up getting horribly sick on top of that for the entire first week of travel. Inigo ends up eating weird roadside small-town food for a while afterwords, not trusting even the party’s rations. After she recovers, Rhododendron scavenges some spell components; she also works on ‘Verrix’s’ romance book manuscript for Marlee. She tries to enlist Verrix’s help in coming up with a title for the book, but he just ends up shouting out random baking terms. Rhododendron asks Marlee what she knows about the Crimson Death, and she tells Rhododendron that ‘people were being shitty’ and then healed by Dilong…and mentions Sun Sickness.

Marlee: “Basically, there was like this paladin of Nyvarstra or whatever, and they totally went bazonkers with power, totally fallen, totally rising up against the gods - I dunno, there was like a whole rebellion with it. Even the common folk were with it, he was like super charismatic. Like me. And like, I guess Nyvarstra was like ‘oh, that’s like blasphemy’ so she sent a plague to destroy them all  and show people what happens when you mess with her - props, I get it, I have a bad temper too.” 

Rhododendron: “And then you said there was another person?” 

Marlee: “Ya, another god, one that’s not around anymore, so she’s not relevant.” 

Rhododendron: “Laoteng?” 

Marlee: “Ya, her and one of her kids. They did, like, some healing with some holy warrior or whatever. I dunno.” 

Rhododendron: “So, did Nyvarstra kill the paladin?” 

Marlee: “Yeah, probably. The other legend is that ‘his corpse still haunts the world today’. I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s probably dead.”

Rhododendron asks if an angel was involved in these stories at all, which Marlee denies, but she does bring up the incident a few months back when ‘a bunch of angels went crazy and tried to kill the aasimar’.

Marlee: “People got like, mad about it. I was like ‘calm down, man’.”

Rhododendron: “It didn’t affect you?” 

Marlee: “Um, no, celestials can’t affect me. Ew. I’m like a paladin, that’s like our thing.” 

Rhododendron: “I mean, it didn’t affect me either, so…” 

Marlee: “That’s nice.” 

Verrix: “Yeah, bet it was nice.”

Rhododendron asks Marlee if she knows that she’s in a party with two aasimar, and she says that she’s known - and that she knows that Inigo is fallen. Rhododendron tells Marlee that the angels were after Inigo, to which the paladin says that it’s a ‘little self-centered’ to assume that it was all because of them. After talking to Marlee, Rhododendron tries to ask Inigo a little bit more about his memories, which he’s still very unclear on. Inigo does state that he vaguely remembers Umbra’s plan to steal the crown of So’Joh, and that he was arrested. Marlee, after eavesdropping for a little bit, offers to try to help Inigo with some magic from her - and a somewhat reluctant Jun. Inigo’s a little apprehensive about the idea, but Rhododendron reassures him again that he doesn’t have to change as a person even after regaining his memories.

The group finally makes it past the border and into So’Joh (after breaking and repairing a cart wheel) after four and a half weeks of travel. Jun gives books the semi-translated book from the last temple, where’s he’s made quite a few notes. Rhododendron asks Verrix if he’s come up with a title for the book yet, but won’t accept his only sugggestion (Fifty Shades of Grain). The two of them debate tell Marlee about the author of the book, but feel like she’ll be a little upset that they’ve hid this secret for a few months now. Rhododendron asks Inigo how he feels about trying to regain his memories again, and he tells her that she still doesn’t think it’s a good idea, since he isn’t too happy about the type of person he used to be before. Inigo also says that he’s worried about being around Umbra again, recalling how Umbra could affect anyone’s minds from regular people to creatures (like giants). Rhododendron still reassures him that he doesn’t have any reason to hurt anyone in the party (although Verrix points out to her that Jun and Inigo didn’t exactly get along as teenagers, to which Rhododendron says that Jun doesn’t even look the same anymore, and that he let Inigo go). Inigo still continues to worry about regaining his memories, especially at the risk of harming the rest of the party, but his memories might be the only real lead they have to Umbra’s whereabouts in Nartai/So’Joh. 

Marlee finishes working her way through the pieces of the story Rhododendron has written for her, and says that she has very in-depth feedback to give to Verrix on it (which he is not looking forward too). Rhododendron gets bored after a while and tries to bother Jun, who says he prefers sleeping (nice, dreamless sleep) - so she has Inigo throw his flute at Jun (21 STR check), and lets him know that Inigo has decided to go through with Marlee’s (and his) suggestion of using Lesser Restoration/Remove Curse to try to restore some of his memories. Eventually, Jun does offer to finish translating the rest of the book on Dilong for her (with only 100 pages left). 

Rhododendron and Inigo go hunting for food to give the party a break from rations, but Rhododendron is banned from cooking, so Verrix offers to cook the deer they bring back…with fire magic, which triggers residual magic from the chocolate he’d eaten in the Brackenwood temple, summoning a fire elemental. The elemental also completely rends the deer to ashes and begins to attack the party. Rhododendron asks Marlee if she thinks the elemental is similar at all the Umbra (Marlee: “who’s Umbra?”), while Jun remarks that the elemental is saying some pretty vulgar things in Primordial (who taught Jun cuss words in Primordial…). The elemental targets Verrix in combat, doing significant damage to him and setting him on fire while Marlee and Inigo miss horribly. Jun casts Thunderstep to get Verrix away from the fire elemental, but the party still has difficulty doing any significant damage to the creature for a few hits, setting Inigo on fire before Rhododendron and Verrix manage to land solid hits on it, Verrix finishing it off.

After the fight, Verrix asks (a pouting) Marlee if there’s a god of deer, but she dodges giving him a real answer besides saying that there’s a god of the Wilds; she’s bitter that she wasn’t able to hit the elemental. The next day, before trying to begin restoring Inigo’s memories, Rhododendron tries to make sure that he’s really ready to start the process (while Verrix eavesdrops). They also talk about Rhododendron’s dancing career, to which she tells them that there’s only a limited amount of time for her to perform as a professional ballet dancer, since the career is so hard on her body.

Rhododendron: “It’s okay to be nervous. I would go through performances and that was the worst part, but at the end it was exhilarating, that release of nervousness.” 

Inigo: “I don’t know if this will be quite the same.” 

Rhododendron: “I think it will! You’ll remember who you are, Inigo. And even if it brings back bad memories, that’s you.” 

Inigo: “Yes, that’s the part…I think I’m afraid of.” 

Rhododendron: “That’s what I’m saying. You should accept that part of yourself and be the person…that is scared of that person.” 

Inigo: “Or I could run away again.” 

Rhododendron: “I would find you.” 

Inigo: “You did track me pretty soundly and very, very quickly.”

Rhododendron: “I’m not gonna let you run away from this, Inigo, no matter how much you might want to.” 

Inigo: “……We have a deal.”

Rhododendron and Inigo (with some very loud flute ‘music’) wake up Inigo and Jun to start the process of trying to restore his memories, with Marlee insisting on wearing her gauntlets around Inigo and his ‘fallenness’. Rhododendron freaks out on Marlee and Jun when Inigo passes out, but neither of them know why it affected him like that. Jun is completely unconcerned, but points out that he was fine after passing out for a week (Rhododendron vehemently disagrees). After a few minutes Inigo wakes up and immediately goes to recover by himself in the cart, while Marlee pesters Verrix about the book he didn’t write and Jun gives Rhododendron the fully annotated book on Dilong - with an additional 200 pages neither of them expected, since he initially thought they were indexes. Rhododendron is absolutely distressed by this absurd amount of reading.

Jun: “We could kidnap a bard for you and have them read you the whole thing.” 

Rhododendron: “Why can’t you just do it?!” 

Jun: “I don’t like telling stories, it’s boring.” 

Rhododendron: “You’re boring!” 

Jun, sincerely: “Thank you.” 

Rhododendron: “Nine hundred pages, Jun?!” 

Jun: “It’s seven hundred if you don’t read - ” 

Rhododendron, sobbing: “YOU SAID NINE HUNDRED PAGES!”

After a few hours of working through the book and checking up on Inigo from a distance, Rhododendron finally takes pity on Verrix and rescues him from Marlee’s badgering. They return to the cart, and Jun hands Verrix his spellbook to put over his face. They annoy Rhododendron until she goes over to ask Inigo how he’s doing; he’s a little uncertain of things still. Inigo says he remembers some things about Nartai, the Cobalt Keep, and the skull tattoo (a mark of Umbra’s gang). He remembers a little more about trying to steal the crown, that two magic users stopped them before they even got past the gates. He isn’t able to recount much about the person he’d met with the skull tattoo back in Asaraoi, that the dude mostly spoke in riddles, mentioning a library. He also refuses to show Rhododendron his tattoo, saying that it is both invisible and in a ‘bad spot’, even though she is incredibly nosy and desperately wants to know where it is. He does tell her that his tattoo isn’t always invisible, that it reappears when Umbra’s near. Inigo also remembers his favorite food, which is basically just slightly fancy apple pie (but he claims that you can only get it in Breo Shar, where he remembers a part of childhood). They also speculate whether or not Umbra could be a lich, since they didn’t seem to age at all in Inigo’s memories.  

The two of them speculate a little about the future, which Inigo doesn’t have any plans for past Umbra, and Rhododendron is unsure of after rescuing Raz. Rhododendron also brings up the Queen missing, and that Jun was the one who predicted that - and Inigo nearly remembers Jun’s identity at the mention of that until Rhododendron talks over him in an attempt to derail the conversation. As the party heads out on the road again, Raz manages to get a message to Rhododendron via the Sending spell. 

Raz: “Uh…h-hey, Rhododendron. It’s, uh, me. Raz. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Uh, that was a bad joke, sorry…I just wanted to let you know…I’m alive?”

She tells Verrix about the message, and how…kind of pointless it was other than letting her know that they’re still alive. Rhododendron is annoyed with how little they gave her (“the bare bones of a conversation, like always”). When Jun finally wakes up (hours later), she tells him about the message she got from Raz, and he grills her for information before guessing that the spell Raz used was Sending, and that eventually he might be able to learn how to do the spell for her, and tells her how to respond to it. Jun expresses displeasure at the thought of someone else in his head, and they group moves on with their travels.

Verrix manages to navigate the party for a while, spotting some signs from the Masks carved into a nearby signpost, and is curious enough to divert the party off of the maid road to follow where they’re leading - the Mirtree House. Verrix takes Inigo with him to take a peak at the manor, before they both decide that it’s pretty creepy and return to get the rest of their party, pulling the cart up in front of the manor and waking everybody up, much to Marlee’s displeasure. Marlee volunteers herself to stay with the cart while the rest of the party investigates the manor. 

The party enters the manor after Jun casts Detect Magic (abjuration) and Rhododendron picks the lock (15 DEX). They sneak around the building, finding a few once-nice moth-eaten cloaks and a fancy dining room on the first floor, as well as several servants’ quarters and a kitchen. 

Verrix: “Oh, hey, they were probably rich people, so this is totally fine.”

Rhododendron: “You’re just figuring that out?” 

Rhododendron, later: “If you have this many servants you can’t be that nice of a person.” 

Jun: “No, they never are.” 

Rhododendron: “Like, you can acquire wealth without being an asshole.”

They dig further through the manor, with Verrix finding a decent sized safe that he’s unable to open alone, but manages to crack the combination with the help of Rhododendron’s sharp ears. They find some daggers and some deed paperwork to the manor. The paperwork has the surname Mirtree, the names on the paper being Fil’tran and Kirna - obviously elvish. They also manage to find a decent amount of money.

Rhododendron: “Just a fact of life: elves are old, rich assholes.” 

Jun, bitterly:  “Yeah.”

After examining their loot, the party makes their way to the master bedroom, where the door immediately shuts behind them. Outside of the window, the view of the sun is completely gone, with it being pitch black outside as though it was nighttime again. Jun casts Detect Magic again (burning a spell slot, much to his chagrin) to reveal that the magic around them is, of course, necrotic (as well as evocation and abjuration). On the headboard of the bed is carved: LOCK THE DOOR, BLOW OUT THE LIGHT, THE HUNGRY ONI HAUNTS THE NIGHT. There are more portrait of elves in the bedroom much like the rest of the house, and no stars in the sky outside.

Inigo tries to open the door but is unable to, and he says that he hears something scratching on the other side of the door - something with sharp nails. Rhododendron tries to peer under the door, also hearing the scratching sound as she approaches the door; it immediately stops when she looks under the door, her own gaze met by a bright yellow eye and a sharp grin. 

Rhododendron: “Is it childish of me that I’m like, ‘we should all get on the bed’?” 

Verrix: “The bed with the ominous carvings on it? The ominous message? …How bad do you think the consequences would be if I broke that window?”

As gas starts to pour out from under the door crack, the party scrambles away from the door, and the smoke solidifies into a humanoid figure with glowing yellow eyes. The oni. Inigo, as always (for some reason) introduces himself to the creature and asks for its name while Verrix and Rhododendron crack nervous jokes at it. The oni shifts its form to look like Rhododendron and begins mimicking her speech - the party engages it in combat (and Verrix does a LOT of damage to it, lots of nat20s this session for Verrix). During the battle, at the end of each round, (the one round it finishes lmao) the oni’s wounds begin to heal on their own - Verrix destroys it seconds later with another impressive blast of fire, but activates his own Wild Magic, which swaps his STR and CHA mods. Verrix ends up getting super buff for the rest of the day, popping open the buttons on his clothes audibly and growing an extra three inches. Verrix runs over and takes a flying kick at the door (nat20) and completely obliterates the door.

The party explores the rest of the manor, finding a few children's’ bedrooms and a guest bedroom, with nothing too interesting in them. Rhododendron digs through the master bedroom again and finds a safe hidden under the bed, finding a few magical items (candies and dentures) and some more money. After scouring the manor a little longer, the party reunites with Marlee back at the cart, who says they were gone for seven hours. Marlee also says that she heard screaming from inside the building, but none of the other members of the party screamed while they were inside. Inigo offers to teach Verrix how to use swords now that he’s strong, but Verrix declines, saying he still doesn’t think that he can take very many hits. 

After that detour, the party returns to the Long Road proper, reaching the edge of the forested area about a month’s travel away from the Great Crossroads. Jun tries to use his portent to help Verrix cheat at arm wrestling competitions with Inigo and Rhododendron while he’s still strong, but Inigo still somehow wins his (nat20).  …As soon as Verrix goes to sleep his muscles disappear. Verrix spends the next few days sulking in silent shame at losing his muscles, and even though Inigo offers to help him work out (and Rhododendron suggests jogging next to the horses) he still pouts.

They begin reaching the most populated portions of So’Joh the closer they get to Nartai and Rhododendron successfully manages to shave off some of their travel time. They also pick up a familiar (to Rhododendron) hitchhiker in Calliope, who has taken the form of a half-elf. The two of them catch up, with Rhododendron introducing her to the newer party members and filling Cali in on what happened to Raz. 

Rhododendron: “Have you ever heard of a man named Umbra?” 

Calliope: “Fire genasi? Then, yeah.” 

Rhododendron: “What do you know about him?” 

Calliope: “Oh, you know, dangerous and deadly. A lot of good stories.”

Rhododendron: “He’s the worst? The WORST?” 

Calliope: “…Depends on who you hear it from.” 

Rhododendron: “We’re going to go kill him.” 

Calliope, smiling: “I hope you make a good story out of it.”

When Rhododendron asks about a story, Cali offers up stories about Lady Ambrette and gates to the Underdark, a fallen paladin and the Crimson Death (a story Marlee had refused to talk about very much), and the Emperor’s spyglass. Rhododendron asks about the Night of Endless Rains and the version of the story with Zelia - and the mortal Arietta (wait, where have we heard that name before…), a famous performer. Arietta’s talent as a performer was so great that it caught the attention of two gods: Yulong and Zelia, who started wars over her affection. Cali also supplies that Yulong’s Fingers (the rivers) were formed where her hands last grasped for Arietta as her life slipped away after Zelia struck her down (with a snake/weapon/arrow). Cali also tells the story of the Emperor’s spyglass, of how the Emperor caught spies before they could act, nobles poisoned with their own tainted drinks, rebellions squashed before they could start.

Rhododendron: “Um, the fallen paladin? That one has something to with Sun Sickness, blah blah blah, Nyvarstra, the Crimson Death, um, what about Dilong?” 

Calliope, nervously: “W-what about Dilong?” 

Rhododendron: “Perhaps Dilong’s champion?”

Calliope talks about how Dilong’s champion had magical arrows that could kill or cure depending on who they were shot at, and how they also helped serve Dilong’s mother. She gets interested when Rhododendron mentions seeing tapestries of the champion, although Rhododendron refuses to go into detail. Rhododendron asks after the political affairs in Gosha, and Cali tells her that the Queen has been presumed dead and that a council has been appointed in her place for now. (Rhododendron: “That’s a problem for later.”) They’ve also declared the dragon as some sort of powerful illusion, as dragons are still extinct. Rhododendron and Verrix catch Cali up on a somewhat sensitized version of their adventures the past few months. Cali mentions meeting Raz a few times in Dynafell, since she always tries to visit the temples…since she ‘sort of’ works with people that are big followers of Nyvarstra. And with that, she departs, hopping off of the cart and travelling by herself again.

Marlee pouts after Cali leaves, disappointed by her lack of chemistry with Rhododendron and a little jealous of her storytelling ability (and ease of friendship with Rhododendron, even if that’s…not really true…). Rhododendron offers to tell Marlee the story of how she met Raz, and Marlee gets emotional about their meet-cute. She tries to emphasize to Marlee that they weren’t exactly a ‘perfect couple’, but it’s too late, Marlee has her rose-tinted glasses on, even though she knows that they broke up. Marlee promises to try to find someone else for Rhododendron, saying that she might even find her true love here in So’Joh…even though Marlee thinks that she’s still in love with Raz, since she’s kept an old moment from them. 

Marlee, in tears: “……You’re still in love with them, oh my gods. That’s why you’re going to rescue them. Verrix, we have to save Raz.” 

Verrix: “That’s…what we’re doing.” 

Marlee: “Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page. Wow, Verrix is also a romantic at heart - I don’t know if you know this, but Verrix writes romance novels”

Rhododendron finally tells Marlee that Verrix hasn’t been writing the baker/prince book, but it takes a minute to convince her of this. She tells Marlee that they lied because she didn’t think she’d made a very good impression on Marlee, and felt like Verrix had a better chance at swaying her to join them. Marlee forgives her on the condition that she doesn’t spoil the story - and proceeds to subject her to the same criticisms and comments that she’d given to Verrix.

The finally reach the Great Crossroads, where Marlee insists on finding Rhododendron ‘an outfit for romance’. Rhododendron checks in on Jun, who is extremely unhappy to be closer and closer to Nartai (and the Keep). As soon as he can he immediately goes to sleep to ‘see things’. Rhododendron and Inigo bring up the library in Nartai again, and the fact that Inigo remembered that it sort of had something to do with Umbra…

Marlee and Rhododendron get some supplies (including some much needed fresh vegetables) and clean themselves off of all of their road grime. Marlee also buys her warhammer here. Rhododendron searches around for a glass eye unsuccessfully, and gets some cloth to cover up her silver bow. Inigo buys more weapons, Verrix stocks up on spell components, and Jun swaps out a few of his books. 

Three’s A Party: Four x Reader x Eric

TrAshy Says: This literally just popped into my head so if it’s shit, you know why. No hate to Tris but reader’s jealousy is almost as bad as her boys ;)

Warnings: A little violence, Suggestive themes 

__________

“I don’t know how you do it, Y/N.” Tori exhales, nimbly dodging your fury of punches. 

Though she preferred the laid back nature of tattooing, Tori still liked to spar, especially with you. It was the perfect time to catch up on life and hone your fighting skills. You guys may have been best friends, but neither of you went easy on each other, as told by the bruises that were starting to form on both your bodies. 

“Do what?” you breathe, blocking a high kick. “Date both of them. One of them is bad enough, but both? Together? You’re just asking for trouble.” 

This isn’t the first time your relationship has been the topic of conversation, but it still catches you off-guard all the same. Tori uses this to her advantage and swipes your feet from under you, knocking you flat on your back and pinning you underneath her booted foot. You tap out begrudgingly, and she half-smiles at your glare before helping you up. 

“I know you don’t like them, but-” “Correction, I like Four; it’s Eric I don’t like.” “BUUUUUUT! They’re both apart of my life. Yeah, it can get hectic, I won’t deny that. But they care about me and I care about them. Honestly, it’s not as bad as most people think it is.” 

Tori simply nods, knowing that even though she doesn’t really understand, she should stop talking about it for now. She hands you a bottle of water which you sip from graciously, before declaring that she needs to get back to the shop. 

“Same time next week?” “Of course, Tor.”

You wave goodbye and exit the pit, quickly making your way toward the space you share with Eric and Four. When you open the door, a heavenly scent drags your willing body to the kitchen, and you see a shirtless Eric standing over the stove. 

“Damn it smells amazing in here.”

The smile you’re greeted with makes your heart flutter, and Eric quickly turns off the burner before crossing over to you and connecting your lips. 

“You’re late.” he states when he pulls away. “Maybe you’re just early.” you smile. 

Eric returns to the stove and begins plating what he’d cooked. You notice that he only prepares two plates, and you instinctively speak up. 

“What about Four?” “He’s training one of the initiates and he said not to wait. You didn’t get his text?”

You hadn’t checked your phone the entire time you were with Tori, and sure enough, when you do, there’s a missed text from Four. 

Hey Y/N, helping Tris train; she’s afraid she won’t make the cut. Don’t wait up...or do ;) - Four

Even with the suggestive end, you find yourself frowning. So what if Tris didn’t make the cut? If she couldn’t hack it on her own, that was her problem. So why was your boyfriend helping her? Your dissatisfaction must have been plain to see, because Eric chuckles as he looks between you and your phone. 

“Hmm, are you jealous, princess?”

Your head snaps towards him and you scoff as if he’d just accused you of the worst crime. Both Eric and Four were known for their jealousy; people barely even looked at you when they were around for fear that they’d somehow invoke your boyfriends’ wrath. You, on the other hand, swore you weren’t the jealous type. And yet...

“Now you know how we feel.” Eric grins, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. 

Four doesn’t get back until after both you and Eric are already asleep. 

__________

You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, honest. You’d been walking down the corridor toward the tattoo parlor when you heard them, Tris and Christina. 

“So that’s why you’ve been coming back so late! Getting cozy with a leader, huh? That’s bold.” “Shh! We’re not getting cozy, he’s just helping me train; that’s all.”

You stop in your tracks immediately. 

“Sure, sure. So you don’t like him? Not even a little bit?” Christina asks with a playful lilt.  “Even if I did, he’s already in a relationship. A happy one by the looks of it.” “Yeah, true... On the other hand though, Y/N’s also dating Eric. I mean, does she really have to date both of them? Would it be such a crime to at least see if Four is interested?”

You don’t stay long enough to hear Tris’ reply and you’re still fuming when you plop down in Tori’s chair. She takes note of your clearly frustrated state after setting up her tools, and she decides to ask about it when she’s well into the process of lasering ink into your skin.

“I just... overheard something that upset me.” “Yeah? What?” “It... It’s stupid, don’t worry about it.” “If you’re this mad it’s probably not as stupid as you think. Plus, I’m your best friend; you’re pretty much obligated to tell me about things that are pissing you off.”

You playfully roll your eyes and Tori smirks at you, waiting for you to give her the details. So you do; you tell her about Four’s recent late-night training sessions and the bit of the conversation you’d heard. 

“I hate to break it to you, Y/N, but you’re definitely jealous. Of an initiate.” “I know! Like, god, is this really what Eric and Four feel when people flirt with me? If so, I kind of understand where they’re coming from.” “At least you didn’t punch her.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, then a wicked grin slowly spreads across your features as you get the best idea. 

“Y/N, no. No! Don’t be like them!” “I won’t hurt her...too bad.”

Tori sighs in defeat as she removes the pad covering the skin below your chest. She helps you stand and you revel in the new, intricate sternum piece. Still smiling, you pay her and thank her for the wonderful idea. She knows this won’t end well. 

__________

A few days pass and Four still finds himself helping Tris, much to your dismay. You’d even walked in on them after returning to retrieve your forgotten jacket, and the sight almost made you scream. Four had his hands on Tris’ hips, perfecting her form as she beat on a punching bag. Though you knew he was only correcting her, your skin burned at the way she was looking at him. 

If you’d had a throwing knife on you, it probably would have been whizzing through the air at them already.

The next day, you wake up before Eric and Four, ready to exact your revenge plan. You dress in a black sports bra and leggings, both of which accentuate your bust and butt respectively. You then pull on your favorite cropped zip jacket and head out without saying a word to either of them. Your phone goes off consistently throughout the day, both men wondering why you hadn’t spoken to them all morning. By the time afternoon sparring sessions roll around, you’re grinning at the number of missed messages as you make your way towards the training room. 

You practically burst through the door, all eyes drifting to you as you stalk toward Eric and Four. You remove your jacket on the way over, both men taking in your outfit like you knew they would. Before either of them can ask what the hell you’re doing, you turn your attention towards the initiates. 

“There’s going to be a little challenge today. Anyone that can beat me in a fight will move up two spots on the ranking board.”

Murmurs spread throughout the group as you step onto the platform. Four is about to speak up, but Eric silences him with a wave of his hand, a smirk adorning his features. He knew exactly what you were doing, and he wasn’t about to stop you.

One by one, initiate after initiate challenges you, and one by one they all fail. You’ve successfully taken down even the highest ranking members, managing to send a few to the medical bay. 

“Who’s next?”

The remaining initiates look among each other, none of them wanting to succumb to your fists. You chuckle softly as they all visibly recoil under your gaze. When you finally look at Tris, you smile sweetly.

“You. Get up here.”

Tris’ eyes go wide, but she knows she can’t exactly say no to a leader. Hesitantly she steps onto the platform and gets into her defensive stance. You do the same, and when Eric shouts to begin, you charge at her. She just barely dodges your attacks, and even manages to deliver an elbow blow to your jaw. Unfortunately she misjudges how quick you are, and with one powerful side kick to the gut, Tris is sent over the platform’s edge, her back colliding hard with the concrete floor. You stand tall, looming over her as she groans before turning your attention to the rest of the clearly worried initiates. 

“I don’t care what that board says, you’re all weak.” 

You step off of the platform, only sparing your boyfriends a glance before grabbing your jacket and exiting the room. By the time they get back to your shared place, you’ve already showered, changed, and started dinner. You pay them no mind until you feel a pair of arms wrap around your torso. 

“I won’t lie, watching you kick ass is always hot, but you could have just talked to me if you were jealous, princess.” Four’s voice tickles your ear as he places gentle kisses on your neck.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” you sigh, leaning back against him.  “Oh really? So you sent seven people, one of them being Tris Prior, to the medical bay for the hell of it?” Eric asks, standing beside you. 

You bite your lip to keep from grinning, but both men see right through you. Four shuts off the burner you’re currently using, then turns you so that you’re now sandwiched between him and Eric. The latter rests his head on your shoulder, his hands massaging tiny circles into your lower back, while Four rests his hands on your torso right above Eric’s and shakes his head at you. 

“Y/N, you know that neither of us want anyone but you. You don’t ever need to be jealous.” “Funny; I say that to you two all the time, yet people won’t even look at me if you’re around lest one of you decides to make their life a living hell.” “That’s different,” Eric pipes up, “we can’t do better than you, but you could definitely do better than either of us. Especially Four.” “I’m sorry, who came in second place on the ranking board? Oh that’s right, you.” “Fuck you, Four.” “Boys!”

They go silent as you look between them, and a light laugh passes your lips. 

“Tori was right; I don’t know how I put up with you two.” “That’s easy. It’s because you love us.” Four smiles confidently. “Besides you know what they say: Three’s a party.” Eric chuckles.  “We’re not really having that much fun though...” you trail off. 

Both sets of hands on your hips tighten reflexively at your tone, and when your eyes meet Four’s, he’s not surprised to see the lust burning in them. Stepping closer to you, effectively trapping you in a wall of heat and muscle, Four speaks, his breath fanning across your face.

“We can easily change that.”

NIKOLAI BORISOV | THE ICARUS 

“IT WAS A PLEASURE TO BURN.” -RAY BRADBURY 

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: nikolai borisov

MEANING:

nikolai ( slavic ) - victory of the people

borsiov ( russian ) - of boris

NICKNAME(S): nik, kolya, firebug, nikashka, pup (only by his father)

PREFERRED NAME(S): nikolai, nik

BIRTH DATE: august 9th, 1990

AGE: 30

ZODIAC: leo

GENDER: male

PRONOUNS: he / his

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

NATIONALITY: russian

ETHNICITY: russian

CURRENT LOCATION: verona, italy

LIVING CONDITIONS: nikolai is used to moving around, so he doesn’t put much stock in where exactly he lives. his apartment is out of the way of most of the city’s main thoroughfare, near several abandoned warehouses so that he can work and create without drawing a lot of attention. it’s nicer than he would normally find for himself, because he’s been in verona longer than he’s ever been anywhere else--it has a balcony, a spare room for a makeshift workshop, and a nice kitchen.

TITLE(S): the icarus, nick bottom, fireman, that russian arsonist, that crazy bastard

BACKGROUND

BIRTHPLACE / HOMETOWN: murmansk, russia

SOCIAL CLASS: nik grew up with a single father, so he was always lower middle class. when he initially started traveling he often found himself living meal to meal, but then he discovered that people were willing to pay a lot of money for his specific set of skills. he has more money than he really knows what to do with, he just chooses not to use it most of the time--he doesn’t care about advancing his social standing or buying himself nice things.

EDUCATION LEVEL: dropped out of high school.

FATHER: andrei borisov

MOTHER: marya morozov

SIBLING(S): none as far as he knows. he doesn’t have a relationship with his mother--she could have more children he doesn’t know about.

CHILDREN: none

PET(S): none--but he makes an effort to feed any stray that he might come across, give them a pet and a smile.

OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: nik never really met the rest of his family--they all moved away from murmansk at some point, and nik and his father could rarely afford to travel that far. occasionally he might get a call from an aunt or an uncle on a holiday, but those were pretty few and far between. his mother wanted nothing to do with him, so he knows nothing about her side of the family.

PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS:

edward little : a university student with an interest in studying the arctic. they were together for a little over a year when ed got a grant to study in norway, and nik just decided to move on.

zaid khadem : a poet that nik met in cairo. they were together for a couple of months before nik moved on again.

anna fallon : a singer / songwriter from new york city. they lived together for nearly three years before her career and nik’s restless nature drew them in separate directions.

ARRESTS?: too many to count--especially when he was just starting out.

PRISON TIME?: at this point in his life, nik is pretty good at avoiding real jail time.

OCCUPATION + HOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: arson and designing explosive devices for the montagues and the capulets, or anyone who can afford to hire him.

SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: n/a

CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: absolutely, it’s the only thing he’s really ever been good at, and its the only thing he’s ever really understood with any clarity. fire makes sense to him, fire brings him comfort--if he wasn’t lighting fires he thinks that the ice he was born into would wear away at his bones, and his life would lack any purpose.

PAST JOB(S): nik has only ever lit fires and orchestrated explosions professionally--before that he relied on stealing to stay alive.

SPENDING HABITS: there was no extra money when he was growing up, and now that he’s making an absurd amount of money he doesn’t really like spending it, or know what to spend it on. he gets what he needs to survive, maybe an occasional gift for the people that he cares about, and that’s really it. he refuses to become like the upper class he’s seen in verona--and he doesn’t think they would accept him, even if he did decide to start spending his money and clean up his image.

MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: his first lighter, which he lifted from his father. he doesn’t use it anymore, but it reminds him of where he came from, all of the reasons that he won’t go back.

SKILLS + ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 5/10? pretty average--he’s tall and thin but his frame has some muscle to it. arson doesn’t require a whole lot of physical strength, but he enjoys boxing as a way to burn off excess energy, and he lived on the streets for a long time which taught him that he needed to be able to protect himself at a moment’s notice.

OFFENSE: 6/10. fighting was pretty much the only thing to do to waste time when he was growing up, and he likes to box in his spare time.

DEFENSE: 8/10. traveling and living on the streets of various countries taught him to defend what he has, by any means necessary.

SPEED: 7/10. running is the action he engages in most often--running from explosions or infernos, from the police--he has to be fast in order to keep himself alive and out of jail.

INTELLIGENCE: impossible to really define? he’s not book smart by any stretch of the imagination, he knows a lot about survival and he’s got a natural ability with languages. he also has the ability to construct complicated explosive devices and can determine the best way to light up any kind of building. he just isn’t quite like everyone else and his mind doesn’t work like everyone else’s mind works--but that doesn’t mean that he lacks intelligence.

ACCURACY: 4/10. he’s only shot a gun a couple of times, and he doesn’t really possess the patience to make himself a better marksman.

AGILITY: 8/10. also nessecary for getting out of the way of his creations and those who would oppose them.

STAMINA: 7/10. he’s not out of shape, but he does repeatedly inhale smoke which means his lungs work at diminished capacity.

TEAMWORK: 3/10. there are few people who can interpret him, and he would rather not have to explain himself. he deals with a client in the most bare-bones way possible, and then does the work himself.

TALENTS: he’s a decent boxer, and he’s naturally adept at languages. he also, obviously, has a talent for setting fires in a variety of settings, and designing explosive devices. he knows something about forging metal as well from being in his father’s workshop, but he’s never actually used those skills.

SHORTCOMINGS: he has a tendency to run before he really gets invested in things, he prefers chaos to order and planning, and he doesn’t generally allow himself to be understood by other people.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: russian, english, italian, a little bit of arabic, a little bit of spanish, and a little bit of french.

DRIVE?: yes

JUMP-START A CAR?: yes

CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes

RIDE A BICYCLE?: no

SWIM?: yes

PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no.

PLAY CHESS?: no.

BRAID HAIR?: no.

TIE A TIE?: no--he hates wearing them and will avoid it at all costs.

PICK A LOCK?: yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE + CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: boyd holbrook

EYE COLOR: blue / grey

HAIR COLOR: dirty blonde

HAIR TYPE/STYLE: on the longer side and unkempt--he could give a damn about taking care of it, and he’ll shove it under a beanie or some other kind of hat 9 times out of 10.

GLASSES/CONTACTS?: none.

DOMINANT HAND: left

HEIGHT: 6′2

WEIGHT: 160

BUILD: tall and wiry--any muscle he has is very lean.

EXERCISE HABITS: boxing, running as part of his job.

SKIN TONE: the sun was a luxury where he grew up, so he tends to be pretty pale.

TATTOOS: a match and a lighter on his chest, his father’s initials in cyrillic on the inside of his wrist, an illustrated molotov on his calf from a drunken dare. he wants more--for the people he’s come to care about during his time in verona.

PIERCINGS: none.

MARKS/SCARS: he’s got burn scars of varying degrees all along his hands and arms.

NOTABLE FEATURES: cheekbones, his expressive mouth and eyes, the constant smell of kerosene and smoke.

USUAL EXPRESSION: grinning wolfishly.

CLOTHING STYLE: clothes that should have been thrown out years ago, leather jackets, flannel shirts, jeans with holes in the knees and stains that are practically archaic, doc martens, converse with holes in them, sweaters burned at the sleeves. he doesn’t really care about how he looks--he’s all about what keeps him warm and what is practical. it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to him to spend money on expensive clothes when there’s a chance they’ll just go up in smoke.

JEWELRY: a pocketknife.

MAKEUP: none.

ALLERGIES: boredom, staying in one place too long.

DIET: too much alcohol, not enough vegetables, whatever brielle will take pity on him and make for him.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none.

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: ESTP

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: type seven, the enthusiast--the busy, variety seeking type. spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, scattered.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral

TEMPERAMENT: sanguine

ELEMENT: fire (lol)

PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: bodily-kinesthetic intelligence.

APPROXIMATE IQ: pretty average, but again--his type of intelligence is difficult to measure.

MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: nothing diagnosed, but he struggles with anxiety and can border on manic.

SOCIABILITY: there are very few people that nik has ever allowed to try and understand him, and make a place in his life. he’s on the move constantly, so it’s easier for him to just make temporary relationships that can be easily discarded and forgotten about. having a busy single father meant he was on his own most of his life, and he has come to prefer that to prolonged contact with people.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: it takes a lot to get underneath his veneer of chaotic energy--but he does tend to feel things deeply, when he allows people and emotions to get past it. he generally believes that if he doesn’t think about complicated emotions, about pain and grief and things of that nature, if he keeps himself busy and laughing, then they won’t affect him.

OBSESSION(S): fire, explosions, having a good time, traveling.

COMPULSION(S): to run away before feelings get involved, to laugh loudly when there’s silence, to call attention to the darker and more uglier sides of society by burning down the beautiful things.

PHOBIA(S): he isn’t really afraid of anything--abandonment, maybe, if he allows himself to think about how he came into the world, and the fact that his mother very clearly didn’t want anything to do with him.

ADDICTION(S): he’s an adrenaline junkie, he’s addicted to anything that gives him a rush.

DRUG USE: he’s willing to test any of theo’s creations, but that’s about the extent of it.

ALCOHOL USE: one of his primary coping mechanisms. he’s a vodka man in terms of drink and in terms of accelerants. as long as it’s strong enough to strip paint, and it burns on the way down.

PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: not if he can really help it--but he’s not exactly adverse to it either. he mostly has to see a good reason for it.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: fast, barely understood at times, a mixture of russian, Italian, and whatever else he feels expresses his feelings.

ACCENT: russian

QUIRKS: mixing his languages, sometimes he’ll forget words, or make the mistakes common to someone speaking a second or third language. he talks to himself a lot, under his breath. he flicks his lighter open and closed in his pocket when he’s anxious, and he always carries it with him. his whole life is pretty quirky.

HOBBIES: boxing, he’s learning to enjoy reading more, bothering theo in their lab or at their place, wandering the city. he generally doesn’t have a lot of time for hobbies, but since he’s been in verona longer than he has anywhere else, he’s working on developing more.

NERVOUS TICKS: dragging a hand through his hair, flicking his lighter open and closed, licking over the points of his canines.

DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: to see every corner of the world, to watch it burn behind him. he generally is motivated by a desire to unsettle the dust, to spark something incredible. like an inventor or a scientist--he wants to create.

FEARS: abandonment, other than that he prides himself on not being scared of anything.

POSITIVE TRAITS: creative, resourceful, fun-loving.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: cynical, stubborn, flighty

SENSE OF HUMOR: all over the place--dad jokes, puns, sarcasm, anything that will make himself laugh primarily.

DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: all the time, and in several different languages. his favorite is his mother tongue, the ones he learned first.

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: bothering theo and lighting fires.

ANIMAL: any kind of dog.

BEVERAGE: vodka.

BOOK: fahrenheit 451, treasure island, the count of monte cristo

COLOR: red

DESIGNER: he doesn’t have one.

FOOD: solyanka and whatever brielle makes for him.

FLOWER: dahlia

GEM: ruby

HOLIDAY: halloween, new year’s eve

MOVIE: all three Indiana jones movies, treasure planet, rebel without a cause

QUOTE/SAYING:

“oh i don't mean you’re handsome, not in the way people think of handsome. your face seems kind. but your eyes--they’re beautiful. they’re wild, crazy, like some animal peering out of a forest on fire.”

-charles bukowski

SCENT: kerosene and smoke

SPORT: boxing

TELEVISION SHOW: man vs. wild, drunk history, black sails

WEATHER: anything warm--he had enough cold growing up.

VACATION DESTINATION: the mountains of nepal.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: get out of verona, hopefully with the person he loves by his side. MOST AT EASE WHEN: he’s most at ease when he’s working, or when he’s with brielle or theo. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: he’s forced to interact with any of verona’s “upper class”, people who look at him as nothing better than a stray dog. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: theo getting bored of him and keeping him out of their life for good, having nowhere else to go but back to murmansk, having no choice but to join one of the mobs. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: leaving murmansk, learning to make a living doing what he loves. BIGGEST REGRET:  not having a better relationship with his father, allowing himself to get wrapped up in the war in verona. TOP PRIORITIES: keeping theo alive, staying neutral.

Sugarawa x Remus self-ship ‘hcs’

List of questions can be found here

I am sad and needed something to help cheer me up, so I did this.

You’re totally welcome to ship us if you’d like.

1. Where was your first date?

All of my first dates I’ve gone on were out to eat and were so boring because the energy was so awkward.  I planned all those dates, so he probably took control over this one.  We probably go on a picnic date in a park that I really like.

2. Who normally plans the dates?

Him 100%.   We were definitely friends before we started dating and he knew I’d get overwhelmed and just make napping a date

3. What type of dates would you two mostly go on? Do you guys have a “date spot” ?

We like to do pretty interactive dates, so ones where you’re not sitting in a restaurant.  Maybe going to bookstores and picking each other out a book.  Or maybe movie night but we go to a movie rental shop to get the movie, popcorn, and candy.  Our ‘date spot’ isn’t really definitive, but we probably end up going to the park the most.

4. What kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy together the most? Why?

Interactive dates like I said above.  I know all dates are quality time with someone else, but ours kind of intensify it.  Our dates require us to be more alone together, even in a bookstore we end up back together in the end and then maybe go read at our park.  Just spending time together outside of the house and also being alone at the same time.

5. How do you think your friends would feel about them being your bf/gf/partner?

I actually asked my best friend this question because she also watches Haikyuu and she said she’d be shocked.  She’d be extremely happy for me, but shocked that I managed to actually talk to him.  My other friends would be okay with him; he and I are pretty similar, so they’d think it was a good match.

6. How do you think their friends would feel about you?

I think Daichi and Asahi would like me because we were already friends before. I’m not sure who all he stays close friends with after high school, but I doubt any of the Karasuno boys would hate me. Noya and Tanaka may be very wary of me because they obviously love and care about Sugawara.  Kageyama and Tsukishima would literally not care, because it’s not their relationship.

7. Who would most likely help the other study when they’re struggling in a class?

He would definitely have to help me.  Struggling in a class doesn’t really mean I’m bad in it but that I just can’t concentrate.  I am shit about math and science, but I could make pretty good grades if I was able to just focus on studying.  Suga would definitely help me focus though, because studying with other people always helps me.

8. How would you know them? ( ex: same homeroom, same route to school, etc.)

I’ve put so much thought into this.  It would be freshman composition 1, which means we’re freshmen in university.  I’m sitting alone, way too early to class because it’s the first day, and Sugawara decides he will sit next to me, even though there are tons of empty chairs. He decides to ask me what I’m doing on my computer because ‘you’re typing a lot’ and I tell him I’m writing. Every day he asks me to tell him a new thing about what I’m writing, and we end up pairing up for a group project and become friends.

9. What do you think your first impression of them would be?

Definitely ‘holy shit he is so pretty, why is this really beautiful guy so pretty’ and then he talks to me and I’m really trying to hold in my gay panic because ‘even his voice is pretty, I have never seen a man as pretty as this one.

10. What do you think their first impression of you would be?

Probably thinks I’m shy (I’m kind of am but not really) and thinks it’s cute how flustered I get when he starts talking to me.

11. Who’s more awkward in the relationship?

Me.  I’ve been in a lot of relationships, but they were all disasters, so I’d be pretty awkward because I’m not exactly sure on what to do.

12. Who initiates verbal affection more?

Me.  I’m not very touchy, even in relationships, and my love language is heavy on words of affirmation.

13. Who initiates physical affection more?

Suga.  I think he’s more into PDA to show his love.  We’d probably come up with a compromise, because I’ll do PDA but physical touch cause me a lot of anxiety at times.

14. Who gets more embarrassed by verbal affection?

I think we’d both get embarrassed when receiving it, but he’d also get embarrassed when saying it while I wouldn’t.  Even though verbal affection is my love language, but I still get embarrassed when receiving it (attention can make me embarrassed in general); I’m super confident at giving it.

15. Who gets more embarrassed by physical affection?

Me.  I’ve already said it can give me anxiety and that’s the main reason why I’d get embarrassed.

16. How well do you think your music tastes would mix? Would they like the music you listen to? Would you like the music they listen to?

I have absolutely no clue. Sugawara doesn’t seem like the kind of person who listens to sad music on repeat.  He’s into more of Disney and anime openings/endings.  I wouldn’t have any problems listen to what he listens to, I just hate country music.

17. Who is the one more likely to keep the other in check? ( ex: keeping up with studies, making sure the other isn’t skipping class, etc.)

He definitely always having to keep me in check.  I struggle with depression, which has made me skip 3 weeks of class before.  His way of keeping me in check would be to schedule breakfast/lunch dates on campus, so I feel like I have to go to class to tell him about my classes.

18. How similar are your personalities?

We’re pretty similar. He’s more affectionate than I am with people.  I come off as pretty aggressive and cold, but I do care about those around me.  So, we’re both fairly caring and like to help others, but we’re both extremely chaotic.  I’m pretty sure I’m more chaotic than he is.  He likes to ensue chaos amongst people while I’m the person who sits in the middle of campus at 2am and campus police have to ask if I’m okay.

19. How compatible are your mbti’s?

I’m an INTP and he’s an INFJ.  I looked up the compatibility and it says it’s pretty strong.   I’ll just believe the internet. 

20. How compatible are your zodiac signs?

I think zodiac signs are really stupid, so I don’t really care about this one.  I’m a Taurus and he’s a Gemini.  I have like 3 friends who are Gemini and we get along just fine.  I think personality type is more important than zodiac sign.

21. Who would be the tattoo artist and who would be the florist?

Neither.  Sugawara is a barista at the only coffee shop that serves gluten free lemon cake near campus.  I’m the creative writing major, who is working on his huge project, that comes in every day he works.  I also definitely messed up my order the first time I saw him.

22. How big is the height difference?

           He’s 5’8” and I’m 5’1” so seven inches.

23. How would you describe your first kiss?

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret; all first kisses suck.  Never base if you’re going to date someone because of a first kiss, because it is always awkward and lowkey sucks.  Our first kiss would be awkward, we definitely knocked noses and he had to grab my face to kiss me.  The kiss itself wasn’t bad, the entire experience was awkward though.

24. Would you confess first, or would they? How would it have gone?

Sugawara confessed first because I literally don’t know how to.  He was at my apartment studying while I was writing and I asked if I could read out some dialogue for him because I didn’t know if it was any good. He then just said “I really, really like you” and I was like “Cool, I like you too, now can I read out this dialogue?

25. Do you think they’d be good at your love language?

I have multiple love languages, I tied in all three of these; Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Acts of Service.  They end up tying into some of my mental illness, so they all really make sense for me.

I truly know that he would be good at my love language(s).  Spending quality time together is already a common thing for us and we tell each other we love each other all the time.  He praises me when I do good on things and just makes sure I know he loves me.  Acts of Service isn’t a love language that I am always in need of.  It’s mainly for when I become depressed to where I can’t really function like I typically do, and he helps me where he can.  When I need that type of love language, I don’t really want any words of affirmation because it causes me to feel guilty.  But him coming over (or home) and cleaning up the place before laying next to me and telling me about his day is something that would mean the world to me.

26. What do you think their love language is, and do you think you’d be good at it?

I firmly believe this man’s love language is physical touch.  I would do my best at it.  I may not do it all the time, but there would be times I would just know to do it because he needed it and that’s all that matters to me.  Over time I think I’d get better at it, but it could take years for me to get to a point where I was ‘good’ at it.

27. Why do you think they fell for you?

I don’t 100% know.  I know we’d be good friends, but something probably happened to make him realize he liked/loved me.  It was probably something of he was sad and texted me he couldn’t come over, but I ended up at his doorstep with his favorite food and his favorite chick flic saying that we were going to have the best night ever.

28. Why do you think you’d fall for them?

I fall extremely fast in relationships, it’s really sad to be honest.  He would make me laugh and happy.  Suga would definitely be supportive when I come out to him and told me he’d never see me differently no matter if I was trans or not.  Him being so accepting would probably make me fall in love with him.

29.  Are there any songs that remind you of your self-ship?

Please Notice (Christian Leave), Into You (Ariana Grande), Lethal Combination (The Wombats), Enchanted (Taylor Swift), Dazed & Confused (Ruel), Sucker (Jonas Brothers), Come Back���Be Here (Taylor Swift)

 30. Are there any cliché tropes that apply to your self-ship?

           Friends to lovers is the only one I know of.  I don’t know a lot about cliché tropes.

31.  Who would prefer cooking? Cleaning? Baking? None of the above?

Sugawara would prefer cooking while I prefer baking.  Cleaning would just be something we do together because we both have certain ways we clean things and have to work together on.

32. Who takes really aesthetic, elegant photos of the other?

We take turns in a way, but mainly me.  I hate getting my photo taken, so I’m taking majority of the photos.  He takes really elegant photos of me when I’m not paying attention though.

33. Who takes very unexpected, unflattering photos of the other?

Both.  We’ve made it into a competition of who can get the worst one.  I’m winning with the high quality people where I’m sitting on his seat, my eyes/forehead in the photo, while he looks atrocious because of the angle.

34. How would your (future?) careers work together? Would your schedules clash, or sync well?

I truly hate this question, because I don’t know what career I’m going to have.  I’d love to work in a publishing house, so we’ll go with that one.  Sugawara is an elementary school teacher, as you may already know because of time skip. Our schedules alignment would change pretty regularly depending on the project I have, but I’m always home to tell him to go to sleep and he can finish grading papers in the morning.  He refuses my help on grading because he says I’d be too intense on third graders.

35. Who would suck at games?

I’m assuming this means videogames and I straight up just don’t play any video games.  I’m pretty good at board games (besides Monopoly because I’ve never played it) and would destroy him at Clue.

 36. Who would let the other win at games?

Neither.  We’re both pretty competitive.  He gets pissed because I keep winning at board games when I barely even pay attention to the game though.

37. Who is messier?

Me.  I’m the kind of person that has a clean room before I wake up and suddenly it’s destroyed because I got ready.

38. Who would propose? Would either of you want marriage in the future?

Sugawara would 100% want to get married, but I’m pretty hesitant because of my past relationships and just view on marriage as a whole.  I’d most likely marry him, but that would be a huge talk.  He’d also be the one to propose and it was a huge proposal where we literally go to Disney World to do it.  I later tell him that he could’ve asked me while we were watching Bones and I would’ve said yes.

39. Where would your dream vacation be with your self-ship? What would you guys do?

Disney World and Universal Studios.  I want to live out my dream of getting the photographers of me kissing my boyfriend at Disney World and buying Hogwarts stuff at Universal.  He’s 100% a Slytherin and I’m a Hufflepuff with Slytherin tendencies, aka best pairing.

40. What are traits you have that would annoy/upset them?

I’m severely pessimistic and lazy.  Being lazy would annoy him, but I imagine that my pessimism would eventually piss him off.

41. What are traits they have that would annoy/upset you?

I don’t really know. He seems to be the kind of person that just does everything constantly, and it would annoy me.  He doesn’t know how to take a break and relax, which I do way too much of but that’s because I do a lot of stuff at once and then I relax for however long I can.  Suga doesn’t know how to do that though.  It would just be annoying; it wouldn’t upset me.

42. How often would you guys probably fight? What would they normally be about? Would they be big or small?

I don’t think we’d fight that much, but that’s because I ever get upset enough to actually fight. Sometimes I yell and tell people to actually listen, but that’s the extent of my typical anger.  Our fights would probably revolve around unhealthy habits. Probably tells me to stop being pessimistic and I try to explain it’s not that simple, and soon enough there’s a fight.  He definitely starts them because I think he’s so much more open about everything he feels compared to me.  We never insult each other or anything though, even if it’s a nasty fight.  The worst it has come down to was “I don’t want to see your face right now, I’m leaving” and I end up sleeping at a friend’s house.  The next day we calmly talk through it and the fight is done.

43. Who would probably get sick more often? Who would baby the other when sick? Who acts like they’re dying when they get a stuffy nose?

He definitely gets actually sick more than I do because my immune system is really good.  I tend to not feel good when I’m depressed, I have actually ran a fever because of it, but I’m not actually sick.  I don’t baby him at all.  My mother is a nurse and the most I was babied was when I was really young and had a severe case of the flu, besides that she sets out medications and tells us to drink water and sleep.  I would buy him soup (I have caught soup on fire before) and really cover him with blankets to make sure his fever goes down.  I act like I’m dying when I get a stuffy nose though and he just asks my mom want to get and buys it for me.

44. Who has the worst patience? Does the other balance this out?

I have the worst patience out of everyone I know, except my mother (where I got having no patience from). Sugawara has a lot more patience than I do because of being in volleyball and has to constantly tell me that we will get to the counter eventually when I complain that the line is way too slow and my version of Hell is waiting in a line.

45. Which one suggests trips to stores at 3am?

Me. No one is there that late, so it’s the perfect time to go.

46. Who is a morning person? Who is a night person?

He’s a morning person and I’m a night person.

47. Out of the two of you, who would be the one to kill / get rid of the spider?

Me. Spiders don’t bother at all.

48. Who reminds the other of things? ( ex: appointments, tests, etc.)

Sugawara has to remind me of everything.  I am overly forgetful and he tells me the night before as well as text me before the appointment.  He thought in the beginning of the relationship that getting calls the day before my appointment would truly remind me, but they don’t.  I forget what floor my doctor’s office is on and I’ve been going there for years, so remembering appointments is just extremely hard for me.

49. What is the pace of the relationship? ( ex: started dating after a few weeks, takes months/years, act couple like right off the bat, need time, etc?)

I’m not sure if I fully understand this, but he and I were friends for probably months before we started dating.  I may have liked him longer, but I’m used to guys not liking me back.  He probably liked me for a month and then awkwardly confessed.  We immediately started acting a couple once we started dating though.

50. Who said the first “ I love you”? Was it immediately reciprocated, or did the other person wait?

He said it first.  It slipped out when he was lying next to me on one of my bad days and was like “I just love you so much.”  He didn’t even freeze, at all, and I was pretty quiet because I wasn’t in the mood for talking to begin with.  I said it later when he brought me food, and he almost broke a plate in shock.

Hi! So, I just saw an interview to Kit Harington from GOT, and he's got the most ridiculous moustache because of some proyect that he's filming or something. Can I request a one-shot in the BotB universe where Killian has some ugly/funny/ridiculous hairstyle or beard or moustache for one of his movies and Emma can't have sex with him or just simply look at him without laughging? And the talk shows' people find about it and ask about it in every interview or something. Thank you!

Hi, nonnie! I’ve been saving your ask for awhile now (I had to finish the story first), and I’m too thrilled to get to answer it now! And to the others who have sent me Betting on the Bullseye prompts, I’m working on them ❤️

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He settles down in the bed, pulling the covers up over his shoulders and inching closer to Emma until he can get one arm slung over her waist and the other underneath the pillow, his chin on her shoulder and her feet tucked between his calves. Her moving her feet is how he knows that there’s still some kind of consciousness left in her and that she’s not dead to the world as she slumbers.

“You smell good,” she mumbles, and he smiles at that, spreading his hand out across the width of her stomach and tapping his fingers against her skin as he nuzzles further into her.

Working these long days on set has been killing him physically, but mostly it’s been killing him emotionally as he’s away from Emma and McKenzie, only really seeing Emma on the rare occasions that he’s home in time for her to go to sleep. He’s thankful that he’s shooting in LA so that they’re not far apart distance wise, but it doesn’t feel that way sometimes when he only sees his wife when she’s asleep and only sees his baby girl when she’s in that post-nap phase where she could care less that Daddy is home and all she wants to do is play with her toys. The ache he feels missing them almost reminds him of being away filming during the early stages of Emma’s pregnancy with his Kenzie girl, but that may have been far worse as he very literally couldn’t be there to hold her when she was suffering through nausea and fatigue.

At least he can hold her for all of that now even when he’s not around as often.

“It’s my aftershave,” he whispers in response, turning his head and kissing just below her ear, pressing his nose into her skin as he works at the skin there, listening to the little moan Emma elicits. God, he loves that. “The one you bought me for my birthday. Good to know that you – ”

Emma very suddenly twists in his arms, kneeing him in the stomach and kicking at his calves as she lands on his hand and is staring at him with their noses less than an inch apart, her lips parted and eyes widened with her brows raised.

“What the hell happened to you face?”

He recoils is head, furrowing his own brows while he looks into her eyes and tries to understand just what about his face has her so shocked. Is he bleeding and hasn’t realized it? Did he nick himself shaving? Is he getting a black eye from filming? Did he get hit without noticing?

“What do you mean, love?” he questions, pulling his hand out from underneath her to grab onto her waist, squeezing her hip as Emma’s hand rises to touch his cheek.

“You shaved, KJ,” she whispers, almost as if she can’t accept the words she’s saying.

“Aye, I know. I shave all of the time.”

“But, babe,” she continues, her fingers moving up and down his cheek, seemingly unable to stop touching him everywhere that she can get her hands on, not that he would ever mind that, “you never shave all of the hair on your face off. You just trim your scruff. It’s so…”

“Handsome? Dashing? So attractive that you simply have to kiss me right now?”

“Smooth,” Emma says instead, her brows pressing together as she concentrates on the movements of her hands. “It’s like baby skin but still the tiniest bit prickly.”

“Funny, that’s what I say about you.”

“Shut up, you idiot.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“I really am.”

“And forever the most humble and kind woman on the planet.”

“I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You never do.”

“Gah,” Emma groans, running her entire palm over his cheek while he slowly pulls her closer to him, their hips nearly touching, “this is so weird. I’ve never seen you with no facial hair. I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“Well, I’d hope that you do still find me handsome. I’d hate to think a movie role is what’s going to break apart our marriage.”

“I know. I always thought it was going to be a mid-life crisis where you go out and spend all of our money on a new boat or something.”

“That could still happen.”

“Could it?”

“Yeah, I’m only thirty-seven. Still plenty of time for me to spend McKenzie’s and baby Jones’s university fund.”

“All over some facial hair,” Emma sighs, leaning in to gently slide her soft lips over his, seemingly happy to linger there instead of moving. But then she does, encouraging him to open his lips with a flick of her tongue a little pressure from her lips as he forgets about everything but Emma and how she feels with her body against his and her lips effortlessly moving while she lets out this little gasp that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. He doesn’t really want to when she makes the most glorious sounds that only he elicits from her. He’s about to fully tangle his tongue with hers and press her body down into the mattress, but then Emma’s trailing her mouth away from his lips and across his cheek and his jaw, rubbing her nose into his skin. “It’s like I’m kissing a different man.”

“People are always telling me to help keep the spark alive with things like that.”

Emma giggles into his cheek before he gently nudges her down onto her back, placing his knees on either side of her thighs to keep himself from weighing down on the small curve of her stomach as he slowly, leisurely, desperately melds their lips together. God, he misses her so much, and after this baby is born in six months, he’s not working for a solid year so he can spend time with his wife and his children. He doesn’t have any other commitments, and he plans on keeping it that way.

“I don’t think that’s what they meant.”

“Probably not,” he hums, nipping at the dip in her skin just above the collarbone. She smells of vanilla strongly enough that she must have taken a bath just before he got home. Or maybe Kenzie got her wet when she was trying to give her a bath before bedtime. He misses bath time. In the morning he’s going to get Kenzie to take an extra one so he can watch her giggles as they play with the letters that stick to the tub wall. “But I know that I romance you well enough to not need advice from others.”

“Can you use romance as a verb like that?” she asks on a gasp of broken air as her hips push up into his and her hands start running up and down his arms, staying at his biceps while he teases her skin.

“Does it matter?”

“Only for – ah – for future reference.”

“Well, I say that you can,” he murmurs into her skin before he starts working his way down her body, slowly pushing away clothes to kiss the tops of her breasts and her nipples, biting and teasing and driving her wild all the while she whimpers and moans and encourages him to keep doing exactly what he’s doing.

When he makes his way down to her thighs, having taken her pajama pants off, he’s just about to work his way past her underwear when he hears another giggle that he knows has nothing to do with the way that he’s kissing her. He ignores it, nudging his nose into her skin just above where he knows that she wants him when he hears it again, this time a little louder and more insistent as Emma’s legs close in a little on him.

“Darling?” he questions, poking his head up to look at her over the very slight swell of her stomach. He can’t see her face as it’s twisted to the side and into a white pillow case, but he can see her shaking from laughter. “Emma, love, I know I’m a confident man, but I can only take so much of my wife laughing at me when I’m about to have sex with her.”

“It’s y-your…it’s your face,” she sputters out before falling back to the pillow.

“That doesn’t make it any better.”

“Oh, KJ, that’s not what I mean,” she insists, propping herself up on her elbows while he starts moving away from the crevice of her thighs, his ego a little bruised even as he moves back up her body, trailing his lips and his teeth up her stomach and sternum and down her arm until he’s planting a kiss against the little MJ inked into her skin where the dot used to be. They’ll both have to get another one soon whenever they decide on a name for this baby.

He still wants to get Emma’s name somewhere, but he hasn’t decided where yet. They’re not going to have any more children after this, so he doesn’t have to worry about needing a place for a third initial for a child. He’s thinking he might get their wedding date tattooed around his ring finger for when he has to take his ring off for work even if it’ll have to be covered in makeup every day. He’ll know it’s there.

That’s really not the point right now, though. Emma laughing at him for no apparent reason when he was primed to do his best work is, however, is most definitely the point.

Falling back against the pillow himself, he stretches his arms and legs out, trying to cool the heated blood in his veins down as he takes several deep breaths, Emma still laughing beside him. What the hell is happening?

“What do you mean?” he growls, likely a little more agitated than he should be.

“I – okay, it’s going to sound stupid,” Emma says more quietly as she moves around on the bed until she’s sitting next to him and looking down at him with a soft smile on her face and her hair matted up in a way that makes her look like McKenzie when she wakes up from a long nap. He’d love baby Jones to be a boy, but he thinks he might like another girl too so that he can have all of his girls.

Really, though, he simply wants the little lad or lass to be healthy. That’s all that matters. That’s always what’s mattered.

“But?” he encourages, taking her hand in his and twining their fingers together despite him being a little annoyed with her.

“Your face is really smooth, babe. Like, it kind of feels like when I’ve just shaved my legs, so when you’re kissing my thighs, that’s kind of what it feels like and I can’t – I can’t stop laughing at it. It kind of tickles to be honest, which is totally the opposite of how it should be. I’m just really used to you going down on me and feeling your scruff.”

He sighs before he laughs himself, unable to stop as he shakes his head from side to side, disbelief at this woman never ceasing. He seems to remember her once saying her legs felt like a dolphin when she shaved. Maybe that’s what his face feels like to her, and it’s too foreign of a feeling. “You’re telling me you can’t have sex with me because of my face.”

She raises a brow. “Am I allowed to make a joke here or not? Because you totally set yourself up for that one.”

He reaches over and pinches her leg, watching her squirm and settle back down next to him so that their intertwined hands rest on his chest while his free arm wraps around her shoulder. “I did set myself up for that one despite knowing better.”

“Mhm,” Emma agrees, adjusting her head and her legs until she’s comfortable and totally intertwined with him, just not in the way he thought they would be. “I love you. I do. And I love your face no matter how it looks, but I have known you for five years and never once experienced you with a totally clean shaven face. It’d be like if one day I showed up as a brunette.”

“That’d be hot.”

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“I do, I do.” He turns his head to the side and kisses her temple, purposefully rubbing his chin into her skin. “You know, just because my face is different doesn’t mean my tongue works any differently.”

“Later,” she yawns, running her foot up and down his calf in a way that is not at all helping the situation. “I just got really tired.”

“Did you nap today?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“Emma.”

“I know, but I got home from work and Kenzie was super whiny about everything and the nap didn’t happen. I was in bed by nine, though, and then you came home and I got all distracted by that handsome face of yours.”

He smiles into her hair and shifts a bit under her weight, running his hand up and down her arm. “You’ve got a bit of a Russian nesting doll situation happening. You need your sleep.”

“A Russian doll situation?”

“Yeah, like the dolls where you – ”

“I know what they are. Are you saying that’s what pregnancy is like?”

“Isn’t it?”

Emma laughs and shakes her head. “If only I gave birth as easily as those things come apart.”

“Now that would be a sight.”

“A really creepy one. Kind of like your face right now.”

“Sleep, love,” he chuckles. “You can make fun of me some more in the morning.”

“Sounds like a plan, Stan.”

She doesn’t make fun of him the next morning, and he mostly thinks it’s because they don’t get a lot of time together before he has to go to set. Mckenzie wakes up a little before six, the monitor they have in their room going off for her, and instead of staying in bed and waiting for her to go back to sleep, he slowly unwraps himself from Emma and heads down the hall to his daughter’s room, picking her up and holding onto her as she babbles to him. She’s got quite a few words down now, and for a sixteen-month-old, he thinks she’s doing pretty well. She’s happy and healthy, and even if he doesn’t get to do bath time with her, they do spend a little more time together than they’ve been getting, Emma eventually coming down the stairs with her pajamas still rumpled up.

But then he’s off to work, and it’s the same routine over and over again for the next month.

He thinks that Emma gets used to his lack of beard of his face, no longer giggling uncontrollably when he tries to romance her, but when the time comes for him to start growing in his sideburns and mustache, he braces himself for her to hate it.

But she doesn’t.

Mostly because she doesn’t notice.

He knows that Emma is busy with work and with balancing a million things on one very small plate, but for the fuss that was made about his clean shaven face, he really did think that she’d notice he was growing a handlebar mustache and some seriously thick sideburns for his movie. The seventies were an odd time, and he cannot wait to be able to shave all of this off and grow back his normal facial hair.

Seriously.

But he’d also kind of like Emma to notice.

He knows the exact moment she does. They’re sitting on the beach with Kenzie, trying to keep her from stuffing sand into her mouth because that’s the phase they’re going through with her, when Emma’s gaze lands on his and her lips part and brows rise high on her forehead, eyes most likely widened under her sunglasses.

“What is happening with your face right now?”

“Darling, no offense, but I’m beginning to think you don’t pay attention to what happens with my face since you are continuously shocked by these changes.”

“I swear I look at you and pay attention to you, but I don’t…no, no, Kenzie,” she sighs, getting up from the towels and reaching to grab their daughter and pull her back to them. “We don’t eat sand.”

“Yummy.”

“You’re such an odd child, little love,” he chuckles, reaching forward to tickle her stomach until she dissolves into a fit of giggles, “but we don’t eat sand. It hurts our tummies.”

“It yummy,” she repeats.

“No, it’s not,” Emma sighs, resting McKenzie on her thigh and tickling her hands across her stomach to make her laugh. “KJ, I really don’t think I noticed the mustache.”

“What about the sideburns?”

“There are sideburns?” she laughs, placing her hand in front of her mouth in a pathetic attempt to cover up her giggles. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I – I shouldn’t…Killian, how long are you going to be sporting this kind of facial hair?”

“At least two more months.”

“Okay, okay,” she nods, her eyes most likely shining under her sunglasses, “I can deal with that. It’s just going to take some getting used to. If anyone can pull off this look, I have faith that it’s you.”

“Thank you, love,” he smiles, a little at Emma but mostly to himself at how much Emma’s affected by his changing facial hair. He knows she would never love him any less no matter what he looks like. It’s simply amusing to see how she takes the changes. “Alright, Kenzie, let’s put on your floaties so we can go out in the water and look for fish.”

Their life goes on, Emma’s stomach and his facial hair growing every day, and while he appreciates the roundness of Emma’s stomach and the growth in her breasts as their son (that’s right – they’re having a boy!) grows healthily within her, Emma does not seem to appreciate his facial hair. Nothing really changes with them. If there’s one thing he’s come to appreciate about his marriage – and really there are far too many to count – it’s that while he and Emma do get into disagreements, they’re a team who laughs together. She makes him laugh more than anyone just as he does to her, and no matter where they are or what they’re doing, they always have that playfulness that comes with being so comfortable with someone. It’s special, what they have, and he never wants a day to come where Emma doesn’t laugh at least once a day.

But the fact that she’s started laughing during sex (more so than usual, really since the two of them definitely aren’t the type of people where it’s always serious. Where’s the fun in that?) when she gets a good look at his face is definitely not what he was expecting. He doesn’t mind. He laughs too. His appearance isn’t what it usually is and sometimes when he gets a good luck at himself in the mirror, he can’t help it either. But it becomes this constant, consistent thing that he grows used to, and even if some people think that it’s a bit harsh, he’s forever charmed by his wife.

When filming is over, he gets to shave, his face returning to almost normal, and when he and Emma celebrate the night after filming is finished, Emma carefully situates herself on his thighs to help with her stomach as she runs her lips over his jaw.

“I kind of miss it,” she lets out on an exhale as she sinks down onto him, her walls enveloping him in all of their goodness, the slick warmth nearly driving him into the madness that it always does.

“My darling, we slept together four days ago. I don’t think you missed my cock too much.”

“Sometimes you shouldn’t say the things you think,” she giggles into his neck while his hands find her hips to help guide her a bit.

He waggles his brows even if she can’t see them with her head resting on his shoulder like it is. “We were both thinking that.”

“I was actually thinking about your mustache.”

“Emma,” he gasps, sliding his hand down to rest at her ass, squeezing the slightest bit, “you miss my mustache? You hated that thing.”

“It grew on me.”

“Technically it grew on me.”

“Your jokes have become so much worse since becoming a dad.”

“I have a reputation to uphold for all other dads when it comes to telling dad jokes.”

She hums, swiveling her hips a little bit more and making him nearly lose himself right there. “You do have a reputation to uphold. I’d hate to make someone think that you weren’t keeping up with your quota of dad jokes.”

“Next thing you know they’ll find out I haven’t been wearing the cargo shorts.”

“Killian, my love,” Emma says very seriously, pulling back from his neck so she can cup his cheeks while her hips do something indecent to him, “I will accept the mustache, but I will not accept the cargo shorts.”

-/-

Six months later his beard is back to its normal length and shape, has been for awhile now, and he’s on James Cordon to promote his movie. It’s the last piece of work that he has to do before he can finally take a break to be with Emma and the kids without any work interruption, and as fun as this is, he cannot wait to go home in two hours.

“So you know I have to ask,” James starts from behind his desk while Killian smiles, wishing the lights weren’t quite so bright as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear, “about your wife, your family. It’s a bit of a tradition with my producer threatening me if I don’t.”

“Well, what does she threaten you with?”

“I’ve signed an NDA and can’t tell you that.” He laughs and nods his head, waiting for the words he knows are coming. “So, I love your wife. She’s a sweetheart, but there’s a rumor making its way through the Hollywood grapevine that your facial hair in your latest movie caused a bit of an issue in your marriage.” Killian rolls his eyes and leans down to bury his face in his hands before peeking through his fingers, wondering if this story is ever going to go away. “Would you like to expand on it a bit?”

“Would I like to?” he laughs, sitting up against the couch and pushing his hair back while he smiles. “No, likely not, but I will. So I was out to eat lunch with my brother. We were chatting. It was all fine, and I, being an idiot and forgetting that people care about things that I say, was telling him that my wife found my moustache and sideburns to be quite a…she couldn’t stop laughing at me. Like, she’d look at my face and bust out laughing, and it’d get particularly bad when we were having private time.”

“When you were fucking?”

“Oh hell,” he chuckles, his laugh mixing in with the audience as they play the fake censorship bleep over the speakers since that’ll have to be censored later. “Pretty much, yes. Sometimes she couldn’t help herself and would laugh until she couldn’t breathe, completely taking us out of the moment because then I’d start laughing too.”

“Really?” James hiccups as he laughs too, leaning forward on the desk. “It didn’t hurt your pride?”

“No. Emma, you have to understand that Emma is the funniest person I know. Far funnier than me, and we’re always laughing. Usually not at each other’s faces, but we’re always laughing. I looked ridiculous for a really long time, and honestly, I’d keep that damn mustache for the rest of my life as long as it makes her laugh.”

“But at what cost to your sex life?”

“Well, we just had a little boy, so I think things are still looking up there.”

He finishes the interview, his face hurting from laughter as they thankfully move away from his personal life and onto other things, and when he and Emma settle down to watch the interview that night, at her insistence of course, she laughs throughout the entire thing, their bedroom filled with the melodious sound he’ll never tire of.

“KJ,” she giggles, peppering kisses all over his face, “I love you and your face always.”

Seeing this tiny, sarcastic, fun-loving woman smile or laugh or cuddle with their children or light up like a constellation in the sky gives him life and reminds him of just how much he loves her and her face always.

Though, Emma with a mustache and sideburns would be quite the sight to behold.

The Umbrella Academy- Five

So, for no other reason than the fact that I just love to over-analyze shit:

*SPOILER ALERTS!!!!!!!*

We all know how dysfunctional the Hargreeves family is, and I know lots of people have been looking at the relationships the siblings all have with one another and are picking those apart, which is really cool. I love seeing all the theories that are popping up and the headcanons and whatnot- but one thing I want to see more of (which I know has been catching traction slowly) is Vanya and Five.

I’ve come across a couple people talking about this, but I want to expand on it a bit. In episode one, of course, we hear Vanya talk about how she used to leave the lights on and make Five snacks just in case he found his way home one night. And of course, adding to that, when Five does make it home, he talks to Vanya about her book and he’s not bitter. Unlike the rest of their siblings, who are all pissed about Vanya’s biography, Five tells her it’s well written, that he read the whole thing, and that it was a ballsy move, which is the best feedback we see her get throughout the entire season. It’s validating, even if it is in a snarky Five-ish way.

It’s been pointed out by a few people on here, but there are more scenarios than this. Vanya is the first person Five goes to after the Griddy’s Donuts attack and when he needs someone to listen, and Vanya, upon her power surge in the finale, goes through each of her siblings’ rooms, remembering times when they shunned her or let her down- all of them except Five. She doesn’t go near his room, and he’s the only sibling she doesn’t recall with anger, which is intriguing to me. And while one could argue that maybe it’s due to a genuine lack of memories including him due to his disappearance, which is fair, I find it interesting that Ben was part of that sequence as well.

When Five first decides to time travel and is arguing with Hargreeves, they make it very clear that Vanya doesn’t want him to push it, and he notices, but still leaves anyway. 

This is what I really wanted to get to.

The first people that Five yells for when he gets stuck in the future and finds the Academy in ruins are Vanya and Ben. Instead, he finds the bodies of his other siblings, all of them far older than he remembered them being.

And believe me, there’s no way he wouldn’t have known it was them. Five’s a genius, and even before he managed to jump back in time and find his family again, he would have known who they were. Combined with the fact that he knew what year it was, due to the newspaper (hence how old they all should have been), as well as the fact that they were all in the rubble of the Academy, matched the physical characteristics of each of his siblings, and, of course, sported that umbrella tattoo, he absolutely would have known. One other thing that he would have noticed immediately? That two bodies were missing. Particularly, the first two of his siblings that he thought to look for, because damn it, Ben is small and meek and doesn’t like using his powers, so how could he have handled this, defended himself against this kind of utter annihilation- but Vanya, Vanya is powerless. How could Vanya Hargreeves, Number Seven, the girl who “cried when they stepped on ants” and loved the violin, and had no powers have survived that amount of destruction?

She couldn’t have. 

So how long do you think he searched for bodies before realizing that he wasn’t going to find any? That maybe he could find four of his siblings because they’d gone down fighting right at the very end, but that the other two could have been buried under five feet of concrete and brick and memories, the first victims of a fight that had been too harsh for them to win?

Later, he finds Vanya’s biography and it’s like a punch to the gut because somehow, despite all his intelligence, he had never really thought of a time or place in which one of the siblings would be gone before the rest of them- that, in a way, because they’d all come into life at the same time, they’d all leave it that way as well. And yet, as he reads, he discovers that Ben, the brother he couldn’t find, wasn’t ever going to be found in that rubble pile, because Ben hadn’t lived long enough to be a part of it. But almost in an equally damning way, the fact that he’s holding that paperback in his hands, with the picture of a woman he doesn’t recognize on the back- a woman with his sister’s name, and her sad, drained smile, and the same shoulders that slump like she has the weight of the world on them- means that Vanya did survive up until the apocalypse. Survived up to it, and could do nothing to defend herself when the time came. Died, and died the same way she’d done most things when they were kids- alone.

And maybe that’s why he holds onto that book like a lifeline, choosing to write his equations and thoughts along the margins and in between the sentences created by his sister’s hand, even if her words are sharper and more scathing than he can remember Vanya ever being. It’s the closest he can be to explaining his thoughts and plans to them, circling important memories and writing the occasional response back in the corners of crumpled pages, tiny notes of familiarity and remembrance that keep him going. That biography doesn’t serve as a notebook so much as a motivator to get the damn equations right and return home to them, save them, save everyone before it’s too late to save them at all.

So when the opportunity comes, he does his time with the Commission and cuts all ties with guilt and emotion each time he pulls the trigger, reminding himself that with every kill, he’s a day closer to fixing things, to making sure that it doesn’t end this way, that he’s not the only one of the Hargreeves children who makes it past thirty. Taking a life here or there to ultimately save the lives of billions seems a small price to pay in a twisted sense he doesn’t want to think too deeply about.

When he makes it back and realizes he has literal days before the end of the world, it’s both a breath of air and an overwhelming amount of pressure. Turning to Vanya for help feels natural because it’s what he’s done for the last few decades, writing out all his thoughts in her book, rereading paragraph after paragraph until he has the whole thing near-memorized. Her voice, her writing, the work that she dumped her time and energy into that none of her other siblings appreciate, that was his link back home. Whether she realizes it or not, his going to her and saying “You’ll listen,” isn’t by random chance. He goes to Vanya because she’s the person he’s been subconsciously been bouncing ideas off of and turning to since the first day he found that smouldering biography in the ruins of an old life, now unfamiliar.

Out of sheer necessity more than anything, he finds himself reaching out to his other siblings as well, frantic above all else to stop the apocalypse (something that nobody else seems to understand the full gravity of), the fate of humankind being a burden that needs a little spreading around at times. 

Family means a lot to Five, and he demonstrates it in small ways throughout the course of the season. Sure, he can be a self-confident smartass, and his concerns are often veiled but if you look, they’re there. His first question to the Handler, upon having her make him an offer, was whether or not he could go back to his family. Upon making it home, he asks about Ben, whether or not his death was bad, warns Vanya about her windows, and checks in with Klaus after his return from Vietnam. Despite his conflict with Luther, he reminds him that he’s lived a lifetime already, and that Luther should be more concerned with looking out for himself than watching Five’s back, taking the time to analyze and change the scene before leaving with the Handler the second time to ensure none of his brothers would get hurt. Clearly at one point or another, he has the time to look into Allison’s life and find out about Claire, saying that he wants to meet her. And then there’s also Diego, who he thinks ahead for in order to have his name cleared, as well as talk to him about Patch.

When Five first tells the Handler what his conditions are for returning to the Commission, the first priority on his list is the survival of his family. All of them. The only exception he’s willing to make in regards to priorities over his own brothers and sisters is ending the apocalypse. That’s the line.

So when they first find out that Leonard is Harold and can’t get a hold of Vanya, Five has two strikes against this man- one, is that he’s the supposed cause of the apocalypse, which makes him the priority to get rid of in the first place, but the second strike is that Five knows something the rest of his siblings don’t- that Vanya’s body isn’t found with theirs. And while he claims “Vanya is not important,” he immediately follows up with, “I’m not saying I don’t care about her, but if the apocalypse happens today she dies along with the other seven billion of us.” He tells his siblings that Harold Jenkins, the man Vanya’s with, is their main priority without ever telling them that on the day of the apocalypse he found all of their bodies except hers- meaning she might not have died in that house.

Horrifically, and previously unthought of, she might have died only a day or two before the apocalypse. And it doesn’t take a brilliant mind to put together the pieces that if she’s with a murderer, there’s a good chance she’ll be a victim. So no, his priority isn’t finding Vanya- his priority is finding Harold and killing him before he initiates the apocalypse or potentially does anything to his sister, because Vanya’s storyline in regards to the end of the world isn’t clear. They can focus on finding her after both threats are gone.

After finding Harold dead, Five is the first one back at the Academy to start searching for Vanya and see if she’s come back. Upon discovering that their sister is still nowhere to be found, Five’s immediate reaction to Diego trying to leave is to ask, “Where are you going? Vanya’s still out there.”

Even when everyone else seems to find better things to do and nobody questions where Vanya Hargreeves ended up after the incident with Leonard, the first thing out of Five’s mouth when he finds an armed Hazel pointing a gun at him and standing in his doorway is not the anticipated and appropriate “Are you here to kill me,” but, in fact, “Do you have my sister?”

With all of this leading up to the fact that Vanya causes the very event that Five’s been working to prevent for a literal lifetime, the solution that we expect to see from him (as we’ve seen in other scenarios up to this point) is that averting the apocalypse is priority over even his own family and, therefore, Vanya has to die to guarantee the world’s safety. And yet, at the end of all things, when Luther questions whether or not they should be bringing Vanya with them, Five answers on everyone’s behalf that they’re not leaving Vanya behind- that she’ll always be the cause of the apocalypse, but maybe they can prevent it if they help her, which is what she needs. While the easiest solution would be to off Vanya and prevent any chance of the apocalypse occurring, Five is (for once) willing to risk the whole apocalypse happening all over again on the chance that they might be able to mend past rifts and build the bridges that they never did with their seventh sibling.

So, to summarize, I want more Hargreeves sibling interaction, particularly between these two, because I’m up for some quality character development coming out of this, and I think they definitely have the potential to build off of it.

so here they are.... my revamped darlings. naohiko, rika, amane, and maya are new! im going to put all their bios under the cut, they’re mostly copypasted from the old ref though except for the new kids :P i really like naohiko, he’s basically an amalgamation of every percussionist i’ve ever known lmfao

basic premise: 16 fresh-out-of-highschool prodigies are invited to star in well-respected and widely-watched big brother-esque reality tv show, which takes place on a cruise ship. what they weren't expecting was for the show's 25th season to be a killing game! the students: CHOUMI YUKIYAMA: exceptional among even her fellow shsls, choumi made her historic mark on ballet by becoming the world's youngest ever prima ballerina at the age of 13 and japan's first ever prima ballerina assoluta at 18. fans flock to her ethereal, angelic grace on stage as well as to the percieved sense of otherworldlyness surrounding her albinism. on the darker side of her popularity, repeated sexual harassment from fans and male dance partners alike has hardened her world view to make her not quite cold, but definitely reserved in her emotions. she adapts fairly easy to stressful situations and pushes through pain with almost no visible outward struggle due to her all too common experience with dancing through foot and ankle injuries. because of this she usually ends up taking initiative in difficult scenarios if no one else steps forward. she is also a quite talented hobbyist figure skater and is fluent in both english and russian. REN KIKUHARA: a fairly odd florist in that instead of ordering flowers to arrange into bouquets, every flower he sells is grown himself. although this means that his selection is seasonally and fairly regionally limited, he has an incredible talent for working with plants and can even sometimes coax out-of-zone flowers to grow. he's fluent in hanakotoba and is surprisingly good at flirting through flowers without it seeming cheesy, although he doesn't do it very often. people often remark that his bouquets often seem to have more love and life in them than store-bought ones. ren is a calm and kind soul and prefers listening to talking, with what he does say always seeming to be just the right words for the situation. MARIKO MIKAMI: mariko was a sickly child, and spent a large part of her elementary school years in hospitals. around the age of seven, she began folding paper cranes as something to do, and wished to live normally after she folded her 1000th. she soon recovered, and feels that she owes her life to origami. she is precise and calculating in everything she does, which shines through in her art: every delicate, artful piece of origami that she makes is creased and folded perfectly. she also dabbles in wet-fold origami. she's most famous for her dry-fold though, and her pieces are well known for their complex, precise, mathematical beauty. she refuses to fold paper cranes anymore, feeling that they are too sacred for her to touch after they saved her life as a child. a calm, slightly disconcerting smile is always on her face, no matter the circumstance; her manner is polite for the most part, if i a little aggressive. MOMOTAROU KOBARA: momotarou, born into a rich family that fufilled his near-every want, made a name for himself in the world of collecting at the age of just eleven by, through luck and love for the series, collecting every pokemon card. from then on he set onto collecting just about anything non-perishable: pins, collectors set bandaids, vinyls, etc. he has exceptional luck in finding deals on ebay and other sites. he cant really be called a hoarder, since he likes to have just one of everything; he resells, gifts, or uses any duplicates. his mood swings between a dreamy, chilled out, flirtatious persona and periods of numb depression when it hits him that his whole life revolves around material possesions and that he has no real human connections. SARA KUROKAWA: a talented young woman from a long line of popular backalley tattoo artists. she combines traditional symbolism and youthful influence in her designs to make something new and more appealing for the younger generation, and is a huge proponent for tattoos being shown off for fashion rather than hidden away in the traditional style. sara does have (illegal) tattoos done by her older siblings on her arms despite the minimum age being 20, although her being homeschooled, looking older than her actual age, and having a tendency to wear long sleeves year round has led her to encounter few problems. she and her family are among the many who simply choose to ignore the statute requiring a medical license to tattoo. sara is a fairly rude person in a backhanded way, acts stereotypically catty and even a little deranged sometimes, and enjoys making herself the center of attention, whether through her appearance (dyed pink hair and white contacts) or the things she says. the only two things that can break her shell and make her excited and genuine are tattooing and piano, which she has played from a young age and loves. NAOHIKO KINZUMI: the son of a concert pianist and a professional jazz drummer, naohiko shortcutted the usual pots-and-pans percussion stage most children go through and spent most of his childhood hitting actual drums. blessed with perfect pitch and a natural feel for rhythm, his parents enrolled him in private music lessons at age five, and he joined onto his first indoor percussion ensemble at age 13. a fast learner, naohiko can play most all percussion instruments at a professional level, including both tuned and auxiliary. he is especially known for his drumset skill, specifically being able to match the speed and complexity of most double kick pedal rhythms with just one foot, and his delicate grace at bowed vibraphone. naohiko is loud, brash, and fun, with an infectious smile and sense of humor that draws people in. despite the flashiness of his drumset playing, his favourite instruments are actually the weird obscure ones, like the waterphone, mahler hammer, and "bucket of loud objects to be dumped on the floor". HARUMI HAMANAKA: harumi is a sweet and bubbly girl, if almost cloyingly so. her good luck is a fairly stable force (nowhere near as chaotic as komaeda, for example), generally acting in the favor of wishes of people around her. her mother intensly wanted for her to be on the show because of the exposure it provides, and this is what harumi attributes to her being selected. despite the way her luck operates, shes no doormat and in fact has an overwhelming force of personality, and her sweet demeanor can become rather passive aggressive if challenged on pretty much anything. SHOU KATSUKI (PROTAG): pushed to succeed in the game from a very young age, shou is japan's reigning chess champion, a FIDE-certified grandmaster, and went to international competition the year before the killing game. he played through to the finals with influenza, which worsened through the matches due to lack of treatment and culminated in debilitating pneumonia that left him in the hospital and unable to play for first. because of this, he's cultivated a sort of inferiority complex that he tries to cover for with self-confidence, which actually comes off as condescending rudeness. he has a natural talent for cause and effect analyzation and is good at planning ahead. he gets flustered easily over trivial things and is a sore loser, but tends not to crack under actual pressure. shou doesn't like to be associated with his family due to the intense pressure they put him under only to steal his winnings the second he began to succeed and thus prefers to be referred to by his given name, even by near-strangers. he does genuinely love chess, but his favourite board game is actually risk. (no one ever wants to play with him, though.) RIKA FUJIMIYA: originally scouted as a young child for her unique eyes and birthmarks, rika's first minor film role at the age of nine left the director stunned at her acting capability. as someone who grew up with a very murky self image and a difficulty interpreting social situations, rika lived most of her early life essentially "acting" the way she believed others would respond well to, which resulted in her easily adapting to doing the same for the cameras. she went on to have a very prolific child acting career without really settling into a niche. As a teenager she took her first steps into stage acting, playing juliet capulet at 16 in a moving and extremely impressive performance, and later at 18 performing a striking and memorable female hamlet. her deep and rich voice has also landed her several voice acting roles. her personality offstage has solidified a lot more since her younger years, although she doesn't go out of her way to talk to anyone, fan or otherwise. when approached, she is polite, gentle, and humble, although she has trouble separating her image as a celebrity from that of her as a person and thus it is extremely difficult to get to know her. KENJI MINAMOTO: an eccentric and a bit airheaded olympic fencer whose strange insistence on not wearing protective gear during practice (he believes it makes him better by giving him a stronger motivation to not get hit) has earned him many a scar over the years, and has left at least half of his joints in braces at any given time. he follows his own bushido-esque moral code (the details of which he will not tell anyone), although he will not put himself above whapping the occasional really annoying person in the ankles. his épée is his best friend and he carries it most everywhere. most of the scars on his face and hands are actually from trying to put in his very sharp industrial piercings while drunk. despite his oddities, his light-footed and elegant ambidextrous fencing has been compared by many to a graceful dance, and although in many respects he comes across as dumb, on the court his mind is laser-focused and unbelievably quick and analytic. AMANE BECKE: a more lowkey type of talented than her fellow contestants, amane hasn't won any major competitions, been on tv, set any records, or anything of that sort. she does, however, run what is widely considered the best bakery in japan. based out of nagano and the daughter of a swiss pastry chef, amane has a natural talent for baking nurtured through over a decade of dedication and love for the craft. she excels at interesting flavor combinations, but her true genius is in her classic, feel-good baked goods. many say that the things she bakes just taste like home and warmth. amane is as warm and sweet as her creations, but with a spark of wit and mad-scientist-y genius that make her an entertaining joy to watch work, if a little overbearing to talk to. EISUKE ITOU: eisuke grew up sewing clothes for his younger sisters barbie dolls, and he particularly loved dressmaking. he gained exposure in his first year of highschool by handmaking gorgeous outfits for his class's booth at the school festival, and, through application to various junior fashion competitions, he was eventually noticed by a big-name designer in paris. however, he found learning french next to impossible and has spent the year prior to the game in relative isolation, unable to have any real human conversation. his psychological state was fairly severely impacted by his long hours spent sewing and designing on internship with no company to get him by, and he is now debilitatingly socially anxious and finds conversation difficult and awkward. MAYA HANABAYASHI: maya spent her early teens with only a passing interest in survival-based media, having enjoyed hunger games and similar media, but not to the point of obsession. however, when traveling on a plane with her father back from visiting family in las vegas, she found herself in a similar situation when their plane went down in a heavily forested area of california, leaving a seventeen year old maya as the only survivor. with only a swiss army knife and a lipstick-shaped stun gun gifted to her by her father to feel safer during their stay in vegas, she survived alone in the woods hatchet-style for six months until late fall, when the fallen leaves made her campfire coincidentally visible to a very observant park ranger on firewatch. after being rescued and returned home to japan, maya found it extremely difficult to readjust to normal life. her thick and warm camo jacket, more a fashion statement when she was wearing it originally, was lifesaver to her during the cold spring, and she she can't bring herself to separate from it even with multiple rips and burns in the fabric. she has refused multiple book deals due to still being heavily traumatized, but after a long period of deliberation decided to go on the show as a way of finally moving forward and acknowledging it. maya isn't exactly socially anxious, but rather closed off and disconnected. JUN TENSEI: born jun harada, many believe that his spiritual connection is the real deal, but a few critics hold that he is most likely just an incredibly talented bluffer. the real truth about him is unknown, but many say that his seances do accurately reflect the personalities of their deceased loved ones and help them feel at peace. he is deeply religious, but not to any one traditional faith (although he does use traditional christian symbols such as crucifixes and items such as holy water on occasion). he believes strongly in the power of the soul and its ability to exist beyond death. his voice is soft and almost hypnotic, and he has a penchant for gentle teasing and riddles. he comes off as pretty shady to most, but he's fairly harmless. TOMOKO KAITA: a peppy and outgoing astrology guru who can read your deepest flaws and strengths with just your date and time of birth. known worldwide for her extremely accurate personal horoscopes. despite this, she strongly believes in the ability of an individual to defy their fate through hard work and self improvement. she dislikes giving negative horoscopes, and does her best to focus on the positives that the stars hold in store. her smile brightens the whole room! she is intensely loyal to her friends, to the point of self-sacrificing emotional labor. YUU IROIKE: yuu iroike isn't even his real name, and it's a mystery as to how show staff even tracked down his mailing address to get him on the show. he's a well-known public figure for painting huge, sprawling, colorful murals in tokyo, yet who he really is remains unknown. he paints faster than his murals can be scrubbed away, and has somehow never been prosecuted for vandalism because his graffiti is generally considered an improvment. he's sly, mysterious, and teasing in person, and gets a bit of an itchy trigger finger when he hasn't painted in a while. His skill with spray paint is so great that it seems as if the paint bends to his very will.

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

we only have this moment

Shoot Secret Santa by @youre-lacking-vitamin-me!

Despite their day jobs (or maybe because of them), Root and Shaw manage to hit all the “normal” relationship milestones. In their own way, of course.

-------------------------

LOVE LETTERS

(the way to a girl’s heart is long and winding, especially if it’s her digestive tract)

The postcard sticks out like a sore thumb.

Probably because it’s in-between six hundred kilos of cocaine, John thinks, not bothering to put on gloves as he reaches for the glossy paper. It’s probably fine: there are fingerprints on everything from the steering wheel to the tiny plastic baggies in the dealers’ coat pockets – they probably won’t need some horribly kitschy postcard with a generic beach background and a WordArt ‘Havana!’ on it for evidence.

It’s the kind of thing that diplomatically-minded people – people like Finch – would gently suggest exchanging for a different one, maybe one that looks less dated? Slightly less tactful individuals, not to mention names but – okay, Shaw – on the other hand, would probably set it on fire.

John sighs and turns it around to look for an address or maybe a name or any identi – oh God.

The back – if at all possible – is worse: it’s literally covered in those pointy S’s he vaguely remembers sketching on his notebooks back in middle school. Hundreds of iterations of the same letter, in various sizes, are littered across the surface. It looks like a high school desk; or worse, one of those rappers nowadays with all the facial tattoos.

He tucks it into his jacket pocket, shuddering at the thought of having to choose between paperwork and Shaw’s wrath. But there’s no escaping it, so he trudges down the alley that will seal his fate.

---------------

Back at the subway station, he drops The Abomination™ as he passes by Shaw. It flutters – turns in the air – catches on a breeze that smacks it into the wall – floats lazily down to land just left of her foot. She doesn’t even glance at it.

“Pick up your trash,” is what he gets instead.

“It’s not trash,” is all John gets out before he remembers that yes, yes it is; it is absolute garbage and why do they even keep picking them up? He motions to an alcove where four other sheets of pointy S-adorned paper – a scrunched-up note, an advertisement flyer, some high schooler’s art project, a torn bit of newspaper – hang menacingly. “It’s another one of those.”

---------------

Three weeks, seven papers and two rolls of masking tape later, a form begins to take shape.

“It’s a heart,” Harold remarks, and it’s the absolute wrong thing to say, judging by the way Shaw is reaching for the gun on her thigh. “I mean! It… is? But who would –”

“Three guesses, Finch,” Shaw grinds out.

John adds, “And the first two don’t count.”

---------------

“Don’t you think it’s romantic?” 

“It’s creepy.”

“But it’s how everyone in middle school used to get a date!”

“Like that didn’t just prove ‘creepy’,” John mutters.

Shaw doesn’t pay him any attention, “You’re taking dating advice from how fourteen year-olds ask each other out? Twenty years ago?!”

“Worked back then,” Root shrugs, mildly offended that her masterpiece isn’t being appreciated. Fourteen hundred and six pointy S’s – the initials of Sameen Shaw – and counting. It looks beautiful up on the subway wall – could use a little more lighting, and the last piece, of course… and apparently more masking tape, considering Sameen just ripped the whole thing down the middle.

“This,” Shaw shakes the offending swathe of paper and launches it onto the subway tracks, “is not how you get someone to go out on a date with you,” she spits out, marching off with John and Harold limping after her. 

---------------

That’s what she says… until the last piece arrives as a large stuffed-crust pizza decorated with a pointy S made of pepperoni slices. With Root in full pizza delivery girl getup.

She tips her cap, “How about now, Sam?”

Shaw’s cheeks are bursting, her eyes roving up and down the red uniform. “… only if there’s more pizza involved.”

-------------------------

SLEEPING TOGETHER

(love may not mean letting them walk all over you, but it does mean being a mattress once in a while)

Sameen can barely blink herself awake before she hears the stressed, “Don’t move, Miss Shaw,” from six feet to her left.

“Finch, wha-”

“Don’t. Move.”

Something kicks into overdrive. She’s been in this situation before. Given, only a handful of times, and she’d been lucky to have expert bomb defusers near her the first two and Cole the last time around, but she’s survived stepping on pressure plates and triggering trip wires – now’s no different.

Except it is. A cursory glance around shows her she’s still in the subway, there is no call to panic stations, and nobody is ordering her to stand on the edge of her foot for the foreseeable future – probably because she’s lying down.

Until she sees who is next to her in the makeshift bed. And groans. Because of course she’s here now, after weeks of radio silence and general wondering where the hell the other woman had pissed off to next.

Sameen doesn’t realise it now – won’t realise it until it’s much, much too late – but somehow, Root is everywhere: hidden amongst the computer junk and too-big clothes flung left, right and centre across their – the, not their – apartment, collected as notes and pictures in-between the pages her copy of Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám… and possibly in whatever remains of her heart.

And now she’s also tucked into Shaw’s side, clutching a fistful of tank top and drooling on have-seen-better-days blue sheets. Also hogging all the blankets.

“Really, Finch?”

“Shh sh sh sh shhhh!!!!!” he motions wildly with his arms and touches a finger to his mouth in what she assumes is supposed to be a placating gesture. Shaw flops down none too gently, but it does the trick, and he continues, “Miss Groves returned yesterday evening after a run-in with some of Samaritan’s agents – her friends, Mister Casey and Mister Daizo – were able to apprehend them before they could do any real damage… other than that to themselves.” He turns a little green at the thought of Samaritan’s lunatics offing themselves, but composes himself. “She’s busy sleeping off whatever drug cocktail they injected her with, although judging by her recent sleep patterns, it might be a while before she wakes up.”

Shaw only raises an eyebrow.

Finch swallows, clears his throat. “Miss Groves needs this sleep, Miss Shaw, so if you could find it within yourself to stay still for a few more hours…” his gaze drifts off to the mess of brown curls spread across the pillows, “… it would be much appreciated.”

Shaw rolls her eyes, tries to shift so Root is lying less on her arm and more on her own. It doesn’t work. Not exactly the way she planned on spending her Thursday morning, but – 

“What about Mister…” Food. Something about food. Pasta? Couscous? “… our current target?”

“Ah, yes! As luck would have it, Mister Reese has already apprehended Mister Rice, the gentleman you were following yesterday, and we haven’t received another number yet.”

The mark’s name has Shaw’s stomach growling; a corner of Finch’s mouth ticks up.

“Is there anything I can get you that could help during these… trying times?” he asks, doing his best not to piss Shaw off any more, but still not willing to quite give up on the teasing tone.

“Burrito… s. And Bear.” She glances at the cocoon Root has managed to tangle herself up into. “… and another blanket.”

“Right away, Miss Shaw,” he motions for Bear to come, asks him to zit, Bear! Mooie hond! En ga maar slapen – blif hier, grabs his hat and the last bedspread on the table, offers it to the angry assassin before taking his leave.

Harold pretends not to notice Sameen tucking the blankets more securely around Root as he closes the door behind him.

-------------------------

MEETING THE PARENTS

(a mother always knows)

“Sameen?” Root startles, and instantly knows she’s screwed up.

The woman in front of her stands ramrod still, using oh-so familiar eyes to rove over her leather jacket and the laptop in her free hand and the way she shifts to adjust her falling bra strap. They linger on the visible portion of her cochlear implant (Root wants to curl her fingers up to her ear and push her hair back over the offending instrument, but she’s terrified that a single move will send the lady running, and she can’t have that – not yet) before meeting her eyes; beautiful, but so, so guarded.

The accent is obvious, and the grammar isn’t perfect, but the words shake something deep in her core anyway, “I am sorry, but afraid I am not my daughter.”

And Root knows that – because Shaw is three thousand miles away, pulling herself through an air vent while shouting profanities loudly enough that she might as well be right next to her; Root’s arm, along with the phone, falls to her side, the still-connected call forgotten.

It’s like looking twenty years into the future, wondering if she’ll ever get the opportunity to see the real thing. Nothing and no-one is safe, as the hundreds of scars between them prove time and time again, but right now, she’s looking into an older woman’s eyes and finds some part of Sameen staring right back.

Until she isn’t. The tinny sound of Sameen’s voice yelling “Root! Where the fuck did you go? Oi, Root!”  forces those eyes to the phone in Root’s hand, and she shouldn’t be able to see the screen lighting up with Sam scrawled all over it, but for whatever reason, she’s smiling anyway. It’s almost like she knows – 

A mother always knows, Sam, Root hears her own mother say to a girl who no longer exists.

Brown eyes lift back up, twinkling in amusement. “She has always had terrible potty mouth, that one.” The woman turns to leave, but gives Root a once-over, calculating, appraising. There’s a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Take good care of her, Miss Root,” she murmurs, and then she’s gone as quickly as she appeared. 

Four minutes and fifty-three seconds too late, a young woman standing just outside of Houston’s city centre whispers, “Yes, Mrs Shaw,” to no-one but herself.

-------------------------

HAVING CHILDREN

(or, well, you know; dealing with the one that actually matters)

“You know, when you said that you’d be ‘coming around sometime this week’, I kind of expected it to be for a ‘haven’t seen you in three years; how’ve you been?’ reason rather than a ‘one of your classmates is next in line to be head of the Bartonelli crime syndicate but their half-whatever wants them dead so here I am to save the day’ reason.”

Shaw blinks at Gen over the rim of her milkshake. Wonders whom she has to sleep with around here to have her drink Irished up so she doesn’t need to have this conversation. Then she remembers that she’s in a McDonalds and that alcohol consumption is frowned upon at eleven in the morning and that Root is the Machine-only-knows-where, so there goes that plan.

Gen doesn’t give up, “Where’re John and Mr Finch?”

“Unavailable.”

“So why are you here?”

“Lovely question.” She slurps at the milkshake

Gen leans to the left, trying to get a glimpse of whatever is down the aisle. Her eyebrows shoot up into her hairline at whatever she sees, “Why’s Miss Davenport here?”

“Who?”

“Dee eye-thea teasha,” Gen supplies through a mouthful of burger. Some swallowing later, she repeats, “The IT teacher. Well, one of them. She’s new – all the boys and even some of the girls are madly in love with her because she’s got gorgeous brown hair and wears really tight jeans.” She gnaws on her lip and contemplates her burger before continuing, “And if rumours are to be believed, she hacked her way into the county test score database and gave everybody forty-two percent.”

“She sounds familiar.”

“She’s also walking towards us.”

Shaw turns around just as someone – Miss Davenport? – appears at her shoulder and bends down to push a straw into what’s left of her melting milkshake. A manicured hand wraps around the glass, displacing the condensation, and Shaw follows it to a pale arm to the sleeve of a black blouse to –

“Hi, Sameen,” Root hums, and presses a kiss to Shaw’s cheek.

---------------

“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Sam?”

Root looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Shaw wants a drink with an alcohol content of at least 40 percent. Gen is… still gaping.

“Shut your trap – the flies are coming in.”

She does – and promptly bites her tongue. Sameen sighs and pushes her now more milk than shake in Gen’s direction; she moves to begin picking at her now-lukewarm fries, but has to swat away a hand before she can pull the box closer, away from the fry-snatcher (more like try-snatcher) slouching in the booth opposite with her too-tight jeans and gorgeous hair. Shaw would throw a chip at it to ruin in, but the idea of wasted food makes her decide to pop it in her mouth instead.

Root’s still looking at her expectantly, saccharine smile never wavering.

There’s a huge chunk of burger in her mouth, so Shaw just nods her head in Gen’s direction, “Djenn,” before kicking the hacker under the table, introducing her as, “Woot.” She swallows and glares, picking at her teeth. “Don’t discuss. Some of us are still eating.”

They don’t. They start talking about her instead.

Which is infinitely worse.

---------------

“Why Regina Bartonelli, anyway?” huffs Gen as she trudges up the stairs to her dormitory, playing with her keys to find the right one.

“Why not Regina Bartonelli?” Root counters, smirking, like she knows where this is going. Shaw doesn’t, but she motions at a door, imploring the girl between them to unlock it so she can enjoy the scotch stashed in one of Finch’s computer tower skeletons.

Gen has to think about that. “I… she… it always seems like she’s at the centre of everything. Nicest art project, so everyone crowds around. Her house is apparently so huge it’s bigger than the school!” She tugs the door open. “And, well. She’s pretty much the prettiest girl in our grade…”

Ah.

“And you’ve noticed, have you?” Shaw teases. Gen – outraged and burning red to her ears – slams the door in their faces. 

Root swoons dramatically before throwing herself into Shaw’s arms, crocodile tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “Oh!” she sniffs less-than-delicately, “they grow up so fast, don’t they?” and Sameen bursts out laughing.

-------------------------

MEETING THE PARENTS (REPRISE)

(just because the dead can’t hear you, doesn’t mean you didn’t say anything)

“Your daughter’s in love with a sociopath,” Shaw greets the headstone in front of her, and wonders what in seven hells she’s doing.

Although, to be fair, it isn’t like she can have this conversation with anyone else.

Fusco would offer her a confused nod, a pat on the back, and a platitude he’d remembered from whatever book he’s currently skimming over. And maybe a donut he still has left from lunch. Finch would clap his hands over his ears two words into the first sentence. The Machine would use anything she said as information for the next sorry sucker that needs advice. Zoe would tell her to put a ring on it.

That doesn’t really leave anyone. Except maybe John.

Wonderboy is interested, and sympathetic, but she doesn’t know how to explain to someone who has feelings that she’s not doing whatever-this-is with Root because of some weird outpouring of hormones and neurotransmitters and – you know what, she totally is. Why isn’t she having this conversation with John?

She’s halfway into getting up before she realises she drove two hundred miles out of her way to have this not-a-discussion with a dead woman. Back to squatting. Might as well have the talk now.

The wind comes up, tugging at her hair and clothes, throwing dust in the air. Even as she sits here, at the edge of the potter’s field on the outskirts of Bishop, Shaw doesn’t think she could ever understand how forlorn Root must have felt in this town.

Mrs Groves doesn’t say anything. Her name stares back up at Shaw from the small, grey headstone, and in that moment, means absolutely nothing. But this does:

“And, well…,” Sameen pauses, thinks of the words. “I… I think that, if – if I could love anyone… it’d be her.”

-------------------------

BEING A FAMILY

(this is love – in finale)

“Excellent food you have here,” Sameen comments before heartily biting into the pepper steak she’d snaffled from the pan. “Really top-notch. Almost like alcohol at parties without adult supervision.”

“Please don’t chew with your mouth full, Miss Shaw,” Harold reprimands reflexively as he puts down the second bowl of roast potatoes, smiling despite himself.

“Oh, never mind, mom is here,” she teases, moving to scoop another helping of spuds on her plate before John can get at them. 

They’re supposed to be celebrating Christmas, because while we may not have a normal lifestyle, we shouldn’t shun the incorporation of at least some normalcy into our lives, some part of Finch’s speech creeps unbidden into her thoughts; even though Shaw doesn’t do Christmas, she does do food and alcohol and good company on the rare occasion such as this one, and it feels warm, comfortable, like home.

There’s some clinking in the background that draws her back to the present, where she hears, “… so if I may make a toast –” Harold invites them all to do as he does, lifts his glass… and says nothing. Despite his ten-minute speech yesterday about embracing the holiday spirit and ensuring we do not lose our moral fibre, he’s completely at a loss for words. Quiet tears begin slipping down his cheeks.

“Hear, hear,” John murmurs, pulling Harold back into his seat. She lifts her glass and tips it in the general direction of the table, turns to Root to do the same. But Root isn’t there.

Well, she is. But not really. She’s lost in the Christmas lights and cheer and atmosphere, looking around as if to capture it all, as if it will all be gone tomorrow. In one go-around, they catch each other’s eye: Root smiles shyly, and Shaw finds herself gazing directly at the insecure twelve year-old girl that’s usually simmering beneath the surface. Her eyes are almost glazed over in wonder at the mess of tinsel and fairy lights and assorted baubles that Bear dragged around the subway earlier this morning. If her mother ever had to see this place, she’d probably have a cadenza. 

But right now: “It’s Christmas, Sameen,” she whispers, fingers grasping at Shaw’s hoodie as if to anchor herself back to the ground.

To help, Sameen shifts closer, presses her leg against Root’s thigh, and tucks their heads together conspiratorially. The now less-full glass is held up, daring Root to bring hers closer, to make sure this is real. 

“Here’s to us,” she grins, and clinks their glasses together.