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#the only problem is I can’t tell which is saying it
dazednmatthews · 2 days
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feel us changing (coming undone) number neighbor!matt x reader part eight
y’all blew my shit up for this 😭 i hope it doesn’t dissappoint <333
“wait- fuck- ohmygod,” y/n stumbles up the stairs to her apartment in a blur, stopping to yank off the kitten heels she knew would end up being a problem tonight. “fuck these shoes.”
matt’s laugh can be heard from between her tits because she had shoved her phone in her bra to make it up the death trap.
“you’re a mess, actually.” his voice is muffled, but the amusement is palpable.
“fuck off, i’m trying my best right now.”
once she gets to her door, she undoes her keychain that’s wrapped around her forearm, violently opening her door with a thud!
“jesus, hulk.” he says, doing what he does best: making fun of her. y/n rolls her eyes, even though she knows he can’t see. she wanders carefully through the dark apartment, not bothering to turn on any lights. the tight baby tee and short skirt she’s wearing feel like they’re choking her, so she drops her shoes in the hallway and goes straight to her bathroom.
she sets her phone up on the sink, finally connecting eyes with matt, who’s sitting at his computer desk, gaming headphones on. he looks perfectly fuckable, not that she cares of course, in a tight fitting green day baseball shirt and blue and white pj bottoms. that stupid silver chain around his neck again.
“nice shirt, poser.” she says, putting on her cat eared headband, immediately getting to work on taking off her makeup.
“how do you know i don’t listen to green day?” his eyes aren’t focused on her, rather on his computer which she’s leaned against.
she scoffs, trying to ignore the spinning of the room as she wipes at her face. “knowing american idiot doesn’t count.”
matt looks down at her then, unimpressed. “alright band police.”
she laughs, rubbing her face wash in. “i’m fucking with you, matty.”
“i wish,” he says, fake dejected look on his face. it makes her stomach flip. “also stop fucking calling me that.”
y/n stops the laugh that threatens to bubble up. “you don’t like when i call you matty?” a fake pout. “why not?”
his face is severely unamused. “that shit is so ugly. matt is already a nickname. i don’t need another one.”
she does let out a giggle then, patting her face dry. after applying the rest of her products, which matt calls “absolutely ridiculous and too time consuming”, she grabs her phone and makes her way back to her room.
now, if you asked y/n, she’d tell you that this was purely on accident. she would swear up and down that she didn’t mean to step in the view of the camera while she undressed, and would swear up and down that it was the liquor distorting her perception.
but somehow, matt knows (so does she) that she did. when she sets her phone down at the corner of her vanity, only a lightly angled away from her body, she can feel matt’s heavy stare. she strips herself of her skirt, shimmying it down her legs slowly. she replaces it with a pair of loose sleep shorts, about to undo her bra when she swears she hears a grunt from her phone.
she turns, only in said shorts and her barely there, lacy black bra and halts her movements. “oh my fucking god.”
matt raises an eyebrow, “please don’t stop on my account,” there’s an evident smirk. “i was enjoying the show.”
y/n feels her cheeks warm. “yeah i bet you were, pervert.”
“crazy statement from the one set up her phone so i’d see it.” his headphones are discarded and he’s leaning back in his chair, legs spread. “i think you like having me watch you.”
maybe she shouldn’t egg him on, but she can’t help it. not only is she still drunk, but this was what they did. the back and forth. push and pull. it was a quintessential part of the dynamic they had built.
“i think watching is all you’re cut out for.” she leans over, putting her hands on her vanity and looking directly into the camera. “don’t think you’d know what to do with more than that.”
matt sucks his teeth, “that’s a very cute and very wrong assumption.” there’s a beat of unbearably tense silence. “i’d be more than happy to let you find out yourself though.”
y/n lays her phone flat, not being able to continue the game any longer. she undoes her bra and throws on a cute but comfortable tank top. next time she grabs her phone again, she’s in bed. so is matt.
“when we hang out, i’m taking you to homegoods or some shit. that empty ass room pisses me off.”
the laugh matt lets out is soft. “yeah? you gonna buy me wall decor or something?”
“or something. maybe i’ll take you to spencer’s and get you a dick poster.” she giggles to herself, looking across her room before smirking at him. “maybe a matching minion poster?”
he shuts her down immediately. “i’d rather drop dead than have those yellow fucks watching me sleep.”
“jesus, hostility alert. do you ever relax?”
“i’m always on the defense when i’m talking to you, unfortunately.”
“i have no idea what you’re talking about.” she gives him a doe-eyed look that is nothing short of sarcastic. “i’m so incredibly sweet to you, all the time.”
“the sweetest you’ve ever been was ten minutes ago when you stripped for me.”
y/n’s mouth gapes at that. “god fuck, have some class, matthew.”
matt only shrugs, smile on his face. they don’t speak for a second, but it’s not awkward. his eyes are low and a hazy kind of red, and when he reaches one hand up to rub at them, y/n thinks she sees stars. she has no idea when the image of matt in her head changed, but she’s definitely seeing him now.
they talk for god knows how long, y/n telling matt all about being out tonight and how men are actually the most embarrassing creatures to ever grace the earth. she tells him about how her friend stole a bottle from a random section and then made it up to the dj booth, while she just manically laughed from the dance floor. matt told her that crazy attracts crazy and he’s not surprised in the slightest one of her friends would do something like that. she tells him (fondly) to go to hell.
he tells her all about his day, which consisted of getting high out of his mind with his brothers and watching a shit ton of cartoons. he mentions that chris attempted to make a water bottle bong, despite them having about ten different ways to smoke in front of them. it ended with him damn near melting the water bottle to the nub, setting the smoke alarm off, matt actually punching the fuck out of him and nick running around screaming and fanning the smoke out.
she yawns when comfortable silence hits them, sinking down more in her bed. matt gets up to turn off his overhead light, then switching in his bedside lamp. “what are you doing tomorrow?”
the sleepy girl turns to the calendar hanging on her wall. through bleary eyes and a spinning mind, she sees that tomorrow is completely open.
“nothin’.” another yawn. “why? you wanna take me out?”
matt yawns too. “yeah, if you wanna let me.”
there’s a warm feeling spreading in y/n’s stomach at the way matt is looking at her. as if she’s something he can’t take his eyes off of. as if there’s nothing in the world more important than her. it drives her fucking insane.
“i think i’d like that.” she can feel herself floating in and out of consciousness then, eyes growing heavy.
“don’t tell me you’re falling asleep on me.” his voice sounds just as tired through, no matter how much bite he tries to add.
“oh fuck off, matt.” she mumbles. “i hear you yawning over there too.”
“never,” he says, ever so stubborn. he changes positions slightly, one hand under his head and the other lazily propping his phone up. “don’t hang up.”
the last thing y/n can get out is a low, “wasn’t planning on it, stupid.” before she’s out like a light, the tranquil breathing of the boy she never expected to like lulling her to sleep.
-
when y/n wakes up the next morning she notices two very evident things.
one, she has a slight but persistent headache that requires a gallon of water, immediately. two, is that she in fact fell asleep with matt on facetime.
she checks the time, and although it’s nearing one pm, she can tell matt is still asleep. she thinks his phone fell sometime in the middle of the night by the way her screen is black, so she plugs her phone into the charger before slinking out of bed and brushing her teeth. after she does that and basically inhales three water bottles, she comes back into her room to find the brunette still asleep.
so naturally, she chooses to incite panic.
“matt! oh my fucking god, matt help!” she screams into the speaker of her phone repeatedly. theres a thump followed by a curse and then he’s frantically grabbing his phone.
“what’s going on, sweetheart? are you okay?” his voice is thick with sleep and sounding a lot sexier than she’d like to acknowledge. she also doesn’t let her mind linger on the pet name.
she bursts into laughter at his bewildered state. “oh no, everything’s fine. i just wanted you to get up.”
matt scowls, deep and scalding. “you’re fucking psychotic.”
“i prefer resourceful.”
“i’d prefer if you were locked up.” he stretches, letting out a groan that totally doesn’t send sparks through her body. “what fucking time is it?”
“one thirty.”
“oh fuck you, i had two more hours of sleep in me.”
y/n decides to be direct. “so it’s fuck our plans, huh?”
matt pauses then, looking directly into the camera. “i didn’t think you would remember that.”
she tries not to be offended. it doesn’t work. “oh so you don’t want to hang out?” her tone is clipped. “that’s fine, i don’t care.”
matt laughs his signature ‘you’re-so-unbelievable-it’s-funny’ laugh. “you’re a shit liar.”
“and you’re a dick.”
“maybe so.” he stretches again. “of course i wanna hang out. let me shower and all that shit. send me your address.”
the butterflies slam into her, full affect. oh fuck. is she really gonna meet matt today?
“you’re really apathetic considering you’re about to meet the love of your life today.” she says, because if she doesn’t make a joke, she might die from the anxiety threatening to choke her.
“i am?” he looks at her serious. “where is she? do you know her?”
she flips off the camera. “dick.”
it takes them arguing for five more minutes before they hang up and y/n loses her shit, running rampant around her apartment trying to get ready to meet the man that’s consumed her days for over a month now.
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a/n: cliffhanger because this was gonna be really long so THEY MEET NEXT PART!!! it’ll be out tomorrow. things r getting good yall.
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moonlightperseus · 3 days
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breathe in the feeling
ambiguously set after the first half of s7 | 867 words
Being in love with Buck wasn’t an option.
It can’t be an option.
Because if it was, Eddie might do something stupid, like kiss his best friend.
Which is—not an option.
Eddie’s done that song and dance before, and that ended badly—leaving and being left, divorce papers, blood on hot asphalt.
But the thing is, Eddie can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been over a month since Buck came out to him, and Eddie can’t stop thinking about how Buck is an option now.
Which isn’t even entirely true, because Buck is with Tommy—Buck is happy with Tommy—and Eddie feels like his entire world is collapsing in on itself.
He broke up with Marisol last week, something that up until this moment, he hadn’t told anyone, not even Christopher—which he knows he can only avoid for so long.
He’s not even sure why he’s telling Bobby, because now Bobby is staring at him quizzically and Eddie is feeling closer to a panic attack than he’s been in a long time.
“You broke up with Marisol,” Bobby repeats back to him, because he’s been waiting for Eddie to continue and Eddie has made a point out of staring at his hands and not saying anything as his brain spirals. “Do you want to talk about that?”
“No,” Eddie says, because he really doesn’t—but he sucks in a sharp breath and rips the band-aid off anyways, “I think I might be in love with Buck.”
Bobby doesn’t say anything for what feels like an eternity.
Eddie finally gives in and looks at him, Bobby’s face is a carefully crafted blank expression—he’s processing the information Eddie has given him, but he’s not going to give any reaction in the meantime.
Eddie resists dropping his head against the table and instead settles for staring at the dormant alarm bell on the wall and hoping for it to start ringing to save him from this situation.
“I see,” Bobby says finally, “that’s… that must be a lot for you to process.”
“Understatement of the century,” Eddie mumbles, allowing himself to drop his head into his hands—it’s not quite as satisfying as the thunk of his forehead against the table would be.
“So how long have you been… processing this?”
“I don’t know, a couple weeks, maybe—” —my whole life, possibly, he doesn’t say.
A hand lands on his shoulder, the touch is gentle and grounding, and Eddie is reminded of why he went to Bobby in the first place.
“Eddie,” Bobby says carefully, “there’s nothing wrong with it—being in love with Buck. If that is how you feel, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Eddie exhales slowly, because that’s the whole thing, isn’t it? “I know that—logically, I know that. I’ve never had a problem with—I guess it’s different, when it’s yourself. But it’s not like it’s even—I mean, Buck’s with Tommy—Buck’s happy with Tommy—and Tommy’s my friend too, so it is kind of wrong, in a way.” 
“Buck being in a relationship with someone else doesn’t make your feelings for him invalid—or wrong. Sure, maybe it’s a little complicated since you consider them both friends. But whatever you’re feeling—you’re allowed to feel it.” 
“But what am I supposed to do with it?” Eddie finally meets Bobby’s gaze, “I mean—I feel like I’m lying to Buck, somehow, by feeling this way—by not saying anything.”
“Maybe you don’t have to do anything with it, at least—not right away,” Bobby squeezes his shoulder before removing his hand, “maybe right now you just let yourself feel it. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be honest with Buck, but I think maybe you should start by allowing yourself to be honest with you.” 
Eddie stares at Bobby, completely and painfully aware of his own heart beating in his chest, it’s not a panic attack, but he knows it’s a warning sign. 
He takes a moment to breathe slowly, the way Frank taught him. Bobby says nothing, waiting patiently 
“I don’t know what that looks like.” Eddie says honestly. 
Bobby offers him a kind smile, “That’s okay, you don’t have to have it all figured out, but maybe allow yourself the time to really think about it?”
“What if I lose him?” The words spill out of him unbidden. 
“Eddie, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that you and Buck have a way of finding each other, no matter the circumstance, the two of you will always fight to find each other again.” 
Eddie blinks, and for a moment, all he sees is Buck, covered in Eddie’s own blood, begging for him to hold on. 
He blinks again, and the memory fades, and it’s just Bobby sitting there in front of him, watching him carefully.
“Let yourself feel it, Eddie,” Bobby says gently, “and when you’re ready—talk to Buck.”
The bell rings then, because timing never seems to be on Eddie’s side. 
Bobby sighs softly, “well, duty calls.”
Bobby stands to head towards the engine bay, but before Eddie can do the same, Bobby rests a hand on his shoulder again, “I’m really proud of you, Eddie.”
He lets the words settle over him for a moment—breathing slowly in and out—and then follows after his Captain. 
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I’ve written about this a lot before but it bears reiterating now.
I’ve seen some takes that essentially say Taylor was callous because she broke up with Joe because he “couldn’t get over his depression” and how cruel that is when she said she loves him.
And I think that a lot of the people who think that are identifying with Joe, and empathizing with him and suffering from a version of somewhat understandable main character syndrome. I see this a lot in advice on how to be there for someone struggling with their mental health. It says things like “keep reaching out even if they ignore you. They appreciate it.” “Keep inviting them to do things even if they say no” “Continue letting them know you are there for them to talk to even if they repeatedly shut you out.” And I’m not saying this is bad advice, but it makes it sound like there is one person who struggles with their mental health surrounded by supporting characters who are 100% healthy and able to give an endless supply of emotional energy and that they never have mental health struggles that are impacted by this. (My mental health for instance tanks when I reach out over and over and get rejected because I feel like no one likes me)
From what I can tell from her music (which by the way is the only indication we have that Joe struggles with his mental health, so if we are accepting that premise we need to accept everything else she says about it) Taylor followed a lot of this advice for a long time.
Years of labor locks and ceilings
Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away
Always rising from the ashes
There was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyways
And she tried and tried until it was having a hugely detrimental impact on her mental health which she relates
She discusses how she had to revert into a dream world because of the impact of it:
I dreamed about it in the dark the night I felt like I might die
She talks about how holding on to the relationship made her feel:
I know my pain was such an imposition
My white-knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes weary bones caught the chill
She had a huge amount of anxiety about the relationship so much that her friends noticed how it was impacting her
My friends say it isn’t right to be scared every day of a love affair
My friends tried but I wouldn’t hear it/watched me daily disappearing
She got to the point where she wasn’t sure he even wanted her
Every breath feels like rarest air/When you’re not sure if he wants to be there
Is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything or do you just not want to
I wouldn’t marry me either
Her mental health was deteriorating, so if Joe deserved a partner that would support him when his mental health was struggling, doesn’t Taylor? There’s no evidence that he was able to give that to her and she felt very misunderstood by him
My face was gray but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick
How can you say you love someone you can’t tell is dying
You never read into my melancholia
Nobody noticed my new aesthetic
You say you don’t understand and I say I know you don’t
He don’t understand me
A pathological people pleaser/who only wanted you to see her
Why is his mental health considered more important than hers? One person doesn’t get to call dibs on being the one with mental health problems while the other person is assigned to be the supporting character forever.
It’s also clear she had hopes and dreams for a future that involved marriage and kids that he couldn’t or wouldn’t give her. So should she should give those up so as not to leave her partner who is depressed and be labeled a bad person?
It isn’t his fault that he’s depressed but Taylor clearly has mental health struggles too and one is not more important to the other. They were unable to be good partners to each other due to this, so ending it was the right thing. Were there better ways to do it, yes! But she was clearly struggling so incredibly much that I for one, will give her grace and understanding
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dangans-ur-ronpas · 3 days
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saw ur vents abt dungeon meishi and while I haven’t read the series yet or watched the anime I have seen bits and pieces and already saw the blowup scene where Toshiro attacks Laois and like. even I with zero context didn’t totally hate him. It sucks majorly that it had to happen but like. Toshiro is going through his own shit and plenty of other characters ALSO don’t like Laois! I think people just see that scene and project the amount of times that’s happened to them with someone in real life, which like. I get it. I’m autistic and reading that scene hit like a gut punch bc it was something I had experienced directly in real life: trying to be friends with someone, thinking you are friends, only for them to reveal one day that they couldn’t stand you and hated your guts from day one. You wonder why the fuck they pretended and let you hurt even worse than outright initial rejection. You wonder why they’d put themselves through enduring you. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, makes you feel like utter shit. I 100% get why it bothers people. But you can’t project real life people you experienced onto this character that does not align at all except for this one moment. Also knowing about the author, she probably put that in on purpose as commentary for how autistics in Japan generally have to go through shit like this bc of the way their social culture is. She’s made plenty of autistic commentaries before, I doubt she stuck that scene in there for no good reason. The fact that Toshiro kept quiet and didn’t say anything until he couldn’t take it anymore is VERY indicative to me of the ways Japan’s typical social system is a struggle on all sides. Not to say these are problems unique to Japan, but the nuance needs to be understood. Toshiro isn’t being a dick just for the sake of it. I want to read it sometime so I can better understand the guy, but I don’t want to hate him based on one scene where he was an asshole. Laois is an asshole plenty of times himself, being very overtly written as autistic doesn’t absolve him from the responsibilities of being an adult.
TLDR: People tend to infantilize Laois and demonize Toshiro, which comes down to the prejudices preconceived for both of them: people see Laois, as an autistic man, as an innocent sweet guy who needs to be protected. They see Toshiro, as an Asian man, as someone who should be “polite and honorable” or whatever and are appalled when he acts like a fallible human being and not some appropriation of a fictional romanticized samurai. I understand feeling betrayed and angry seeing a character be a genuine asshole about something (social expectation does not completely absolve Toshiro of his own antagonizations however much of a reason he had) but when it’s so damn one sided, and especially in a series where almost NO one is without complete asshole qualities that round them out, I find it kind of gross that people hate on him for that. Anyway. Just wanted to send a message of support and understanding. Hopefully after I read more I can offer more analysis to corroborate with you on.
100% CORRECT thank you anon
i also understand the people who are sympathizing with laios bc that scene is very easy to relate to for many autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people (i also got a cold sweat when i was watching it bc. like. having someone you thought was a friend straight up tell you there are parts of your behavior that they can't stand is one of the worst things to experience of all time, ESPECIALLY if you were only showing that behavior around them bc you thought they were your friend and you trusted them) but it's so frustrating seeing so many people have such shallow opinions about toshiro bc of it. im on hands and knees begging people to consider the characters in three dimensions and/or develop better reading comprehension because like!! toshiro's official meeting with laios's new group literally leads with 'oh his name is actually toshiro and we never knew bc our leader had a misunderstanding and microaggressed him and he was too polite to correct him' laios is not an innocent party here!! he is not an innocent uwu autistic baby he's a grown adult man with responsibilities, in that whole time he was partied with toshiro he never learned his real name!! plus using toshiro's crush on falin as a reason to hate him, falin's adolescence was spent in a school and a social setting where she was expected to mask + her being a girl also means she is expected to mask by default -> she is better at masking than laios so why are people saying that toshiro hates laios for the same traits in falin bc clearly not?? also saw one person saying 'he only likes falin because she's hot' NO HE DOES NOT HE WOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE HEALTH AND RETAINERS IN A DUNGEON ON A FOREIGN CONTINENT FOR THE SAKE OF A WOMAN HE ONLY THOUGHT WAS SEXY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DUNMESHI FANS THINK WITH YOUR BRAAIN
the whole fight he had with laios where laios points out that their party is more serious about finding falin and resolving everything also drives me nuts because i've seen at least one take saying that toshiro doesn't care about falin as much as team laios because of this. which yes the fact that team laios understands the importance of health in pursuit of a goal is very very important but for many cases in east asian culture (and actually any culture with emphasis on capitalism and economic growth) productivity will get valued above all else which leads to neglect of personal health, i.e: what toshiro was doing. so this is just a clown take to begin with
also interesting to me that almost every character in dunmeshi thus far has demonstrated some kind of racial bias/misconceptions (i.e: chilchuck about elves, senshi about half-foots, etcetera etcetera) and laios and falin are no exception. race and racial differences and conflict and coexistence is also one of the underlying themes in dungeon meshi, with the elves of the west being considered a major issue to many dungeon-goers and the mayor hating dwarves and having to contend with those elves, and then marcille's motive for studying black magic and even thistle's motive for being the dungeon keeper. so it's real fucking ironic that the fans are really quick and happy to demote toshiro to 'asshole side character who is bullying our autistic rep' instead of, you know, using nuance and thinking about it
tldr; dungeon meshi has great commentary on what it's like as an autistic person in society. but dungeon meshi fans are too quick to write off toshiro as an asshole japanese guy who is ableist and getting in the way of their white woman yuri, therefore helping to promote this website's enduring legacy as the piss-poor reading comprehension website
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worldofkuro · 2 hours
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Painted Smile
Painted Smile IX
<- Previous Chapter
Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader
Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.
Notes: You know what? I liked this chapter, I wasn't very sure about it at first but in the end, I enjoyed writting it. I hope you'll enjoy as well ! We are approaching the end of their teenage years~ How sad... but how exciting !
“ Do you think this is a good idea Alice?”
“ An incredible one !”
You were in your bedroom, having a girls night together. You were talking about the Chrismast’Eve’s soirée you had, gossiping together. Of course, you told her about what happened with Alastor when you had your first kiss and she couldn’t help but hug you while screaming delightedly with a lot of : I told you so ! 
But now, you wanted to prepare a surprise party for Alastor's birthday, you wanted to go somewhere else but you knew that Alastor would be reluctant about leaving his mother again. But once more, Alice came with an amazing idea. She had a little cottage an hour from here, she thought that you could all prepare a party for him a day before his birthday, and once midnight past you would give him his present ! Then in the morning, you would get back home and Alastor could celebrate his birthday with his mother.
You sighed as you looked at your ceiling. It would be a great idea. But there were many problems, first of all, you didn’t know any of Alastor’s friends, so it would be complicated to invite them. Second of all, you needed someone with a car so you could go to the cottage to prepare everything without Alastor noticing. And that would be impossible ! Alastor could read you like an opened book ! He would know you were hiding something…
“ But I can’t lie to him, even if I tried..” you sighed once again. Why was Alastor so observant ! While you needed to be focused on him to be able to see one single twitch from his expression, he could know what you were feeling with his eyes closed! How unfair that was… You would have to need help. “ Maybe I could ask Marie for help…?”
“ I know ! We’ll tell him you are sick because you stayed outside for too long! You have a very bad cold so he mustn't come to see you !”
You scoffed at her idea. When you were younger you got a really bad cold, which made you incapable of even standing up. Your parents were so worried that they asked for a doctor to come check on you. The man said that you needed some drugs and not to go outside until the fever settled down. Your parents mustn't stay too close to you in case you contaminate them. So guess how surprised you were when one night, you had opened your eyes and saw Alastor, wiping the sweat from your forehead. His hands were shaking but he was smiling down on you saying that everything would be okay, it was just a little cold. You needed to recover so you could play together once more. You really didn’t know if it was a hallucination or not but the next day, you woke up better and with Eamon in your arms.
“ He would try anything to come to see me. No matter the state I’m in.”
“ Even if you told him you don’t want him to come?”
“ He would know I’m lying…” you smiled as Alice was getting more and more frustrated. You both thought for hours. How could you fool Alastor? You knew he respected your privacy if you asked him… Oh wait! “ I could say I’m on my period ! And it hurts a lot so I want to be left alone!” You clapped your hands together with a big smile. The first time you had your period you were so afraid that your mother had to calm you down. When she explained to you what was happening and that you were now a woman and no longer a girl you couldn’t help but be proud.. for ten minutes, because after that you were hurting badly, you couldn’t stand up from your bed. It was a nightmare. And of course, when Alastor tried to come to see you you shouted at him that you wanted to be left alone. He was so confused but when his mother explained to him what menstruation was, he would sometimes just pass by and drop some sweets for you, never going inside your bedroom. Sometimes he would stay against your door if you were in the mood and talk about his day. 
“ Really, do you think it would work?” Alice asked, seeming relieved that you finally have an idea for this surprise party to work. You nodded excitedly. Now it was show time ! You needed your mother to be part of the plan of course, but it should go smoothly ! “ Then, tomorrow we’ll need to make a team ! One who needs to find anything about Alastor’s friends, and the other needs to prepare the cottage with decoration !”
You were curious about Alastor’s friend, you wanted to know the person he hung out with. You bit your lips and asked Alice to let you stalk Alastor. If you were lucky, you would go unnoticed.
Let the plan begin !
~~~
“ Dear? Your mother told me you were in pain. Do you need anything ?” you heard Alastor’s voice through the door. You began to dress up in disguise, waiting for him to leave so you could follow him.
“ No, I’m just tired and sweaty.. I think I’ll just rest for today!” you waited for him to answer but there was a blank. Why wasn’t he responding ?
“ Is that so… Well, I’ll come back later tonight to see if you are feeling any better, take care.” you heard him slide something under your door and you couldn’t help but awned as you saw a chocolate bar. He knew you too well! You took it quietly as you heard his footsteps near the stairs. Perfect ! You put on your father’s clothes and his hat and you went toward your windows. You could do it. You just needed to jump off to the tree, grab the branches and climb it down. Easy…  Your window wasn't on the road’s side but at the neighbor's house so Alastor shouldn’t be able to see you.
One…
Two…
You jumped and grabbed the branches between your hands. What were you doing, damn it! You climbed down the tree and hurried up to the street. Where was he? You looked on your right and saw Alastor walking down the street. You couldn't help but be excited! Today you were hunting for information about Alastor ! You walked at a reasonable distance from him, watching him rearranging his tie with the shop’s vitrines reflect.  You tilted your head as you saw him being greeted by a lot of ladies who would giggled after Alastor flashed them his charming smile. 
You had tailed him for hours, he would go into a library, read some books, then go to a coffee shop and get a black coffee. Nothing worthwhile. You sighed behind your journal. You were sitting on a table not too far from him, watching him but he was just enjoying himself, alone. You should just ask Marie for information, maybe it would be more useful. As you thought about leaving you saw a bunch of boys going toward Alastor, greeting him with laughter and smiles. You smiled, were they Alastor’s friends? You tried to listen to the conversation, which was surprisingly easy, they were very loud.
“ So Alastor, what’s good for you?” said a green eyed boy “ We haven’t seen you for a while, why don’t you come hunting with us? We hear there were great beasts in the bayou.” you could see Alastor's smile widened darkly. He took a sip of his coffee as he listened to the group of boys talking about hunting. Maybe Alastor was hunting with them instead of his father, it was a sweet thought. Now you just needed their names so you could bring them to the party ! 
Alastor talked with them, mostly laughing at them. But the group of boys did not seem to feel hurt by Alastor's comment, they were listening to him like he was the Messiah. Was that because they thought he was joking? Did people really not understand Alastor that much? You sighed, they couldn’t be Alastor’s friend, from what you knew, he could be using them for a greater purpose. 
After a while, Alastor excused himself before leaving the coffee shop as his… guests, friends ? tried to coat him to stay with them. Alastor accepted a hunting session with them before leaving. Mhn.. You stood up and went toward the bunch of boys.
“ Excuse me, are you Alastor’s friends?” you waited for them to nod before continuing “ Would you like to be present for his birthday?”
“ Are you planning a birthday party? Of course we will come! You know what, we will share the news to his other friends, don’t worry, where will it happen ?” asked the blue eyed man. You gave them all the information before running off. Now, you need to go back home. You took a shortcut, going into a dark alley. If you memory was great, you’ll have to–
“ May I know why you are following me, my goodfella?”
You freeze. It was Alastor’s voice. Your back was facing him, you didn't know what distance he was standing on but you couldn’t turn around, he would recognize you. You heard his footsteps coming closer.
“ Did your Mother not teach you any manners? It's rather rude to not answer a question my good friend.”
You ran.
You ran and you could hear him behind you. Damn it Alastor ! Don’t run after someone who stalked you all afternoon! 
You avoided any trash that was standing in your way. You saw a fence in front of you. It wasn’t very high, you could jump over it, then you would be into your neighbor's garden, you’ll just need to climb the tree and jump into your bedroom. You couldn’t help but smirked as you jumped over the fence, you always were faster than Alastor ! You fell graciously on the tree and began to climb the tree, you looked behind you but couldn’t see Alastor, did he give up? You entered your bedroom through your windows still wide open. 
You stood there as you heard the front door opened violently downstairs and then your mother’s voice.
“ Alastor? Why are you runni- Alastor!”
You panicked as you heard Alastor footsteps running faster in the stairs. You took your clothes off quickly and hid them in your closet but as you ran toward your bed while putting on your nightgown you stud your foot against the furniture making you yell painfully. You fell on the bed, groaning, fuck that hurted !
“ What is going on?” you heard Alastor shouted as he slammed the door open. You curled on yourself, sweating and breathing hard from all that running. You felt his cold hand on your forehead. “ You are sweating although your window is wide open.” he shut the window and stared at you, caressing your back.  At least you could pass your foot pain for menstruation’s pain. 
“It’s because of the smell that I’ve left the window open but Alastor… What are you doing here ? You said you’ll come later…”
“ Well my dear, I was chasing what I think could be your stalker.” you stared at him with wide eyes. Did he mistaked you for a stalker? Well, you did follow him all afternoon but…” But what was worrisome was that when I chased them, they ran into your house’s direction. You haven’t seen anything suspicious my friend ?” he stared at you with his usual smile. You shook your head trying to be as innocent looking as possible. He kept his gaze on you for more than a minute before kissing your forehead. “ Well, I’m sorry to have disturbed your rest my dear.”
You kissed both of his cheeks before laying back down on the bed. You waved at him goodbye before sighing in relief. You could still feel adrenaline inside your body and you couldn’t be prouder than yourself than right now.
Alastor did not catch you.
~~~
You were with Alice, finishing decorating the cottage. It was a cozy place, far away from the city, there was even a lake just behind the house. It was frozen, of course, but when summer came, you could all come here to have some fun!  You were the 30st of December, the surprise would be tomorrow, everything needed to be perfect.
“ I think we did everything we needed to, we brang drinks, food, blankets, what more do you need, woman!” said an exasperated Alice. You knew you were being annoying right now but you really wanted everything to go smoothly. “ I’m done, we are going home, come, my cab is waiting for us.”
“ No, I think I’ll stay here tonight.”
“ I beg your pardon?”
“ I know, just… I… Please.. As you said, I’m perfectly safe here right? So what bad could it do to stay a night here, also, I know that if I see Alastor one more time, I would slip and spoil the surprise ! So please, Alice… Go back home, and manage the guests. I’ll wait for all of you here, with the drinks and food ready, even with the fire in the chimney.”
“... I really don’t want to but… Fine, there is a telephone here, in the entrance. If you need anything, you can dial my house’s number, okay? I’ll tell your mother you’re staying here. And if you need to run away because.. I don’t know what, there is a backdoor that’s always unlocked, I’ll enter from there if you call me okay? Keep the front door locked.” you nodded before hugging her. You knew she didn’t like your idea at all, but you were happy she trusted you enough to let you go.
You waved at her as she took her cab and left. Well, now you just need to light up a fire and find a room where to sleep. You were excited, it felt like it was your own house ! You smiled as you imagined your life like the owner of this house. You took Marie’s book recipes, now what should you cook?
~~~
A snowstorm.
A fucking snowstorm.
It’s been going on for three hours now, thank God you have enough woods so you didn’t have to go outside to find some. You were sitting in a cozy chair with your hot chocolate, a romance book on your laps and with a bright fire in the chimney. You really hoped it would stop before tomorrow, you didn’t want to cancel the surprise. 
You closed your eyes. Well, you just had to wait…
Thud
You woke up, sweating. You sat up, making your book fall on the floor. What was that? You looked around you, the fire was almost completely extinguished, only a few flames remained on the wood. You stood up streching yourself and yawned. You fell asleep like that? You took the blanket with you, ready to go to bed when you heard it again.
Thud
You felt your body shivering, your heart beating stronger and faster. Okay, it was a real noise, it wasn’t a trick from your mind. You went quietly into the kitchen, and took a knife. You weren’t even sure of what you were going to do with it but safer than sorry, right? You stared at the front door, where you heard the noises. You couldn’t see anything from the windows, it was dark outside and with the storm going on… It was too dangerous.
You watched as the door handle moved.
Someone was trying to enter.
Someone was trying to enter.
Someone was trying to enter.
You didn’t realize you were shaking. It couldn’t be Alice, she told you she would enter by the back door. She wouldn’t try to open the front door. What should you do? Run by the backdoor and getting lost in the snowstorm or staying here, waiting for this person to enter and do… You didn't want to think about it.
The noises coming from the door stopped. You held your breath, counting in your mind the seconds. You’ll count to one thousand and then you’ll go back to the living room to see if you could notice something.  You were around 665 when you heard a window breaking upstairs.
You screamed.
The footsteps ran toward you.
You ran.
You slammed opened the backdoor and ran into the snowstorm. Where were you going ? You didn't know, you wanted to lose the intruder in the snow and then come back safely into the house. You held the knife in your hands, if needed would you be able to kill to protect yourself? You heard a shout behind you, he seemed closer than you thought. You needed to do something, anything ! You could already imagine your mother’s face if she happened to know you had gotten killed ! Alice would die from guilt. And Alastor…
You slid on ice, hitting the back of your head against the floor. You frowned, what was..? You touched the ice and realized you were on the frozen lake. You felt your eyes getting teary. Why was that happening, why? You tried to stand up without falling and then you saw the shadows of the man following you. 
“ Stay away !” you shouted, the wind carrying your voice to you don’t know where, holding on to your knife. “ I’m not afraid of killing you !” 
Your legs were shaking but if you were to die, you would die fighting ! The shadows came closer and closer, his hand stretching toward you. You raised your arms, ready to sink it into his chest. You warned him !
“ Look at me !”
You opened your eyes, you didn’t even notice when you closed them, and saw Alastor, standing near the edge of the frozen lake. He was only centimeters away from you. Have you gone mad? Why was Alastor here? Why was he looking at you without smiling, his eyes begging you to listen to him. 
“ Alastor..?”
You tried to walk toward him, trying to catch his hand but the only thing you heard before blacking out was the ice cracking underneath your feet and Alastor calling out your name.
~~~
You were burning from the inside, were you in Hell? 
“ Open your eyes, don’t you dare fucking die ! Anyone but you! ” 
You felt someone’s lips against yours. You didn’t want any other lips on yours but Alastor’s. You pushed the stranger away as you began to cough violently. It hurts. Death wasn’t supposed to be a peaceful journey?
You opened your eyes weakly and there he was. Alastor who was drenched above you. You were so cold.. it was burning you. As soon as Alastor saw your eyes he fell to his knees, his head tilted back, his hand covering his face, whispering something you couldn’t hear.
“ Alastor..?” You looked around and realized you were back in the cottage, the fire has been lit on. You sat up slowly and looked at the blanket around you. You were freezing but tucked into a lot of blankets. “ What are you doing here..?”
“ Is that the first question you want to ask me ?” His voice was cold, his face was stoic, his usual smile non-existent. He was shaking. “ What were you thinking going out in a bloody snowstorm? Have you lost your mind ?” he stood up, raising his voice at you. As your memories came back you understood what happened. The man you thought was an intruder was Alastor. 
You looked down, ashamed but then anger replaced that feeling. Everything would have turned out great if he didn’t come!
“ I was doing great before you came along! Why are you here?”
“ There is a bloody stalker after you and you decide to stay alone in a deserted area ? Tell me dear, are you trying to impress me with your stupidity because you succeeded. Congratulations.” he said mockingly as he sat on the sofa, trying to dry his hair with a towel.
“ I was preparing your birthday, it was supposed to be a surprise !”
“ My birthday’s not worthwhile if you are not by my side!” he shouted, throwing the towel on the floor, his eyes shining with fury. He came to you and tugged you closer by grabbing the necklace he had given you on Christmas. “ What a charming surprise it would have been, finding your dead body in the snow ! Celebrating my birthday would mean celebrating your death? Oh, you really are spoiling me, my friend. You really are taking the cake!” he spat as he stared at you. 
“ Don’t shout at me !”
“ Don’t play with your life then!” He took a knife from his wet pants.” What did you think you could have done with that? Would you stab a man my dear, tell me, would you do it?” he taunted you, mocked you, moving the knife in front of your eyes. “ Do you know how to kill, my dearest?” his voice was low, menacing but you weren’t afraid.
“ I would have.” you stated. Even if you had closed your eyes, in your mind, you were ready to stab the intruder.  “ I was ready to stab to live…” you felt your eyes beginning to tear up.” I was so afraid that I was going to die without seeing you again.. That I was ready to kill someone…” you sobbed as you realized that you almost killed today. You fell to your knees, sobbing. Alastor was angry with you, you almost died, his birthday was a disaster… You wanted to disappear.
You felt his arms around you and you couldn’t help but sob harder. You grabbed his shoulder, pressing yourself against his wet cold clothes. You wanted to feel him more than ever.
“ What.. What happened ?” you hiccuped as he stroked your hair.
“ The ice from the lake broke. I jumped in to save you and take you back here so you wouldn’t die of hypothermia.” he whispered, his body still tense.
“ We shouldn’t stay in wet clothes then..” you took a step back and then you realized, you were in your underwear under the blanket. Did Alastor strip you? You blushed as you looked up to him, he was looking at his own clothes with disgust. 
“ There are no other clothes for me, I’ve looked around.” he sighed before looking away. You shyly touched his shirt and tugged it gently, mutely asking him to undress. He looked at you for a long minute before taking his shirt off and then when you saw them.
Scars.
So many scars were on his upper body. You approached your hand while looking at Alastor who wasn’t smiling. It was so intimidating. His eyes weren't as warm as usual when he was looking at you, there was something completely different. He softly took your hand in his and with a soft sigh, kissed the back of it. He kissed the back of your hand, once, twice.. before tugging you against him and kissing your lips avidly.
You brought your hand into his hair as you kissed him back with so many emotions, fear, worry, desire, fondness… You didn’t know what words to put on your other feelings but what was important right now was Alastor.
You both were panting, you didn’t want to stop kissing him but you needed to breathe. He laid you on the floor, kissing your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your jaw. You were breathing hard, holding onto him, tilting your head back so he could kiss your neck. He was kissing, biting as if making sure you were still here with him.
After a few minutes, he stopped, panting against your chest. You were gripping his hair. You didn’t really know what was happening but you felt great… 
“ Don’t ever… Don’t ever do that again my dear…Don’t ever go somewhere I can’t find you...”
You hugged him, pressing his head against your warm chest. 
“ I promise.”
He sighed once last time before standing up and walked toward the telephone, calling your Mother’s house. You stood up and tried to find clothes for Alastor but there weren’t any that would fit him. You sighed and decided to just take all the blankets from all the room. You went back to the living room just when Alastor ended the call.
“ I just said you were okay, I didn’t talk about our little trip outside.” you nodded and put the blanket on the sofa. You didn’t know how to feel, here you were in your underwear and Alastor shirtless. It happened in the past… But why right now.. It seemed different? You shook your head, it wasn’t important. You held your hand toward Alastor who raised an eyebrows.
“ Let’s sleep.” you said softly. He sighed but walked toward you. You pushed him on the sofa and then laid on him before pulling the cover over you. You caressed the scars you could see, you could feel his body tensed when you touched one who seemed deeper than the others. As you began to fall asleep you felt him nudged you.
“ Stay awake a little longer.. I don’t think I’m capable of seeing you with your eyes closed right now…”
You nodded but you were so tired… You fought against sleepiness until Alastor said it was okay to rest.
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felinefractious · 2 days
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Thank you for sharing your opinion on sphynxes. I adore them dearly, but I can never imagine myself ever owning one because even the thought of caring for an animal who's doomed to live a life of discomfort just is too much for me. That being said, I'm curious if similar exist in breeds like Cornish and Devon rex? Does their coat affect their quality of life in anyway?
Also, let me bookend this by telling you how much I love your blog. You're very good at instilling curiosity.
They’re definitely more work than I’d be able to commit to but I also recognize I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the maintenance of a longhair cat. It’s important to know one’s limits when adopting or purchasing a pet!
Issues with yeast are definitely present in the Devon Rex breed… but I honestly can’t say how clinically significant is. The breed is not common where I am so I’ve only encountered 3 - 4 and one of them was from a low quality breeder and arrived with ringworm… so obviously not representative of a healthy cat.
I also don’t see Devon owners talking about dermatitis and ear problems with anywhere near the frequency I do Sphynx owners… which isn’t to say there isn’t a problem, or even that it isn’t being discussed! It just means I haven’t been exposed to much of it.
Carriage of Malassezia spp. yeasts in healthy and seborrhoeic Devon Rex cats
Cutaneous carriage of Malassezia species in healthy and seborrhoeic Sphynx cats and a comparison to carriage in Devon Rex cats
Prevalence of Malassezia spp. yeasts in feline nail folds: a cytological and mycological study
So ultimately I don’t have enough experience with Devon Rex’s to comment on how they compare to Sphynx… although I’m willing to bet actually having a coat does help.
As for the Cornish Rex… there doesn’t seem to be as much research. I have even less personal experience with Cornish Rex than I do with Devon, I think I’ve encountered… 1, maybe? And like the Devon I don’t see skin and ear issues widely discussed.
But what I did find seems suggestive that it’s not as much of an issue?
Carriage of Malassezia spp. yeasts in Cornish Rex, Devon Rex and Domestic short-haired cats: a cross-sectional survey
Malassezia pachydermatis and M nana predominate amongst the cutaneous mycobiota of Sphynx cats
I’m sorry I couldn’t provide a more definitive answer!
That’s probably the sweetest compliment I’ve ever gotten, thank you so much. I’m really glad you enjoy the blog!
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mylittlevsoldier · 1 day
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Byler, El and the folklore love triangle.
Taylor Swift’s 7th studio album, “folklore” (along with the sister album “evermore”) has written between the lines a love triangle between one teenage boy, James and two teenage girls, Betty and Augustine.
Taylor herself has said, “Betty and James end up together but he {James} put her {Betty} through it.” 
However, the way byler and El tie into this is slightly different. 
The way the folklore love triangle works is like this, James and Betty were together and had some sort of falling out. Then, James went away for a summer and cheated on Betty with Augustine. But, after that summer, James basically ends up ghosting Augustine because he realizes that he really messed up with Betty and needs to make things right. So, he shows up to a party she was having and the kiss and makeup and start dating again and “end up together.”
Now that you know what the folklore love triangle is, I can tell you how Byler and El fits into all of this. 
How I think this works is Mike is James, Will is Betty and El is Augustine. And here is why.
James is obviously Mike because he is the one stuck between the two “girls”. The “girls” in this situation being Will and El. he can’t choose whether to be unhappy in his relationship or pursue the person he wants but hurt the girl he is with and put a target on his back. 
Will being Betty just makes the most sense. Will has been there from the very start. Even though Mike and Will obviously never canonically dated, they’ve been best friends since kindergarten. Also, Mike and Will have had SEVERAL falling outs and the one that always crawls back to Will is Mike, begging him forgiveness. 
 Now time to talk about El. Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE El. Please do not think that I am one of those bylers that hate El.I don’t. However, El is Augustine. She has simply not been there as long as Will has been. She is basically just a distraction for Mike in a romantic sense. Hear me out, Mike is using El as a shield to hide behind. So he can hide from his internalized homophobia. I am NOT saying that he thinks of El as an object. But it’s more on head, he’s thinking that he can’t possibly java feelings for Will because he has a girlfriend. And if he has a girlfriend, he can't be picked on. He can’t be a target. 
TIME FOR LYRIC ANALYSIS!!! 
Cardigan 
Cardigan is the song that tells Betty’s side of the story from her perspective. Which in this form is Will's side of the story from Will’s perspective. 
“I knew you.” 
Like I’ve said many many times Will has been there from the very beginning. Like, he was the first friend Mike ever had. 
“A friend to all is a friend to none. Chase two girls, lose the one.” 
I’m sure one of the many reasons Mike doesn’t want to break up with El and confess his feelings to Will is because he could and probably will lose both of them. Because if he breaks up with El, that’s already enough grounds for losing her not to mention the whole part about being in love with her brother. Mike could also loose Will because he could reject Mike for the sake of saving El’s feelings.
“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on an said I was your favorite.” 
Mike has always been the first one to notice when anything with Will is off, the first one to find him when he’s wandered off while in an episode. He has been “the only one who cares about Will” from the start. 
“I knew you. Leaving like a father, running like water.” 
We all know that Mike runs from all of his problems and won’t stop running until he falls off the face of the Earth. But Will doesn't know why he’s running from him. 
“But I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss. I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s.” 
Will knows better than anyone that the feeling of Mike lingers. It stays and it won’t go anyway and it’s bittersweet. 
“I knew you;d miss me once the thrill expired and you'd be standing in front of my front porch light.” 
Whether Will liked it or not he knew that Mike would be coming back sooner rather than later. And he wanted that way. He didn’t want to push Mike away. It would be impossible to push away the person that he has called his best friend all his life and the boy that has been with his sister for years. 
August
“‘Cause you were never mine.”
I don’t think that El is stupid, she has to know or have somewhat of a feeling.  But also, I feel like she knows that Mike would be better off with Will. And, honestly, I think she’ll be better with someone else who actually listens to what she needs. 
“I remember thinking I had you.” 
I think that in retrospect, it’s funny to El all of the things she tolerated from Mike. And I think when Mike and El break up she will realize that they simply weren't right for each other in a romantic sense. Platonic with a capital P. 
“So much for summer love and saying us” 
I genuinely think that when El and Mike broke up in season 3, they should’ve stayed broken up. They would have still been friends and still talked to each other. But if they would have broken up it would have been the best for both of them. It would have saved both of their feelings. 
Betty
“Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when  I passed your house. It's like I couldn't breathe.” 
I know for damn sure that Mike Wheeler could not go near that house after Will moved out. I feel like it would make him sick to his stomach when he looked at it. 
“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.”
I know that Mike regrets the shit he did in Season 3. The fights, the blatant ignoring of Will to focus on El and his relationship that’s falling apart in front his eyes.
“Slept next to her but, I dreamt of you all summer long.” 
I think that Mike really started to realize that he likes Will around the end of season 2 and season 3. Which is also around the same time he starts getting more defensive towards Will. That's when it all starts going downhill. Because he is starting to realize this feeling and with El breaking up with him, he is losing things to hide behind. 
“The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” 
We all know that if season 2 Mike saw seasons 3 or 4 Mike, he would beat his ass. But I still think that there is a little part of Mike that still really cares about Will like season 2 Mike did.
This is a rework of something i did a really long time ago so if it seems familiar and you've been around my blog a while that's why!
people who wanted to be tagged:
@hollarious2
@artsyna
@wallywise
@lebylershipper
@ash-the-wise
@tender-emotional-music
@willbyerswatch
@hearteyes-wheeler
@paloma-ascends-into-hellfire
also! if you want to be on the normal tag list (aka you get tagged everytime i post an essay / longer post abput byler you will get tagged), please comment and let me know!
also watch out for something related to byler and folklore soon (wink wink)
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starlooove · 4 days
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“There is no fanfic on Stephs treatment I have checked” that’s like the whole point.
#I’m not saying ur wrong bc it’s not canon#I’m saying ur wrong bc ur perpetuating the misogyny that got u there in the first place#and yeah imma take it there it IS that deep to me sorry#like this isn’t like a diff in opinion on an arc or smth#this is quite literally the bigotry that fandoms supposed to be an escape from manifesting itself again with a rainbow flag over it it’s so#like first of all not that serious but concerning to me is getting into smth without knowing the source material#u don’t need to know the exact timeline of events and which specific Batmobile Bruce had in every era duh#that’d be hypocritical to say I read character to character screw the timeline lmao#but it’s like. ur telling me u adore Dick Grayson and have never picked up NTT?#u wanna analyze the queer coding in Tim’s character but you’ve never read his og robin run?#u wanna talk about Damian’s character growth but you’ve only read Batman and Robin 2020s?#u ADORRRRE steph and cass and you haven’t even read batgirls#and that’s like nonissues#my issues are u wanna discuss how Barbara is actually so cold and cruel to dick for how she handled Catalina and you’ve never read birds of#prey and actually dick never cheated so (this isn’t me being hypocritical if you’ve seen that post I just lowk changed my mind)#or if he did it was justified or whatever#you wanna talk about how Jason and Roy are soulmates and you can’t tell me a single thing besides he’s an archer a father and an addict#it’s like ur putting shit out there about these characters and their relationships and you don’t know them#and more people who don’t know them see ur shit and do the same thing#and that’s mid level issue#the BIG issue is that y’all have not unpacked ur racism misogyny or classism enough to do this and then turn around and say ur fixing dc or#whatever. u have not done enough work to speak on Jason or Damian and say they deserve better whilst u water down their anger into smth#palatable and sweet on ur white faves. u don’t get to complain about how there’s not enough about steph and all u do is spread more made up#shit to infantilize tim. and I’m not saying I’ll never read a tim centric fic that’s ooc and stupid and have fun#I do that and I don’t talk about it bc that shit should not be the main writing you find when you look for BATMAN lmao#and even then they HIGHEST problem is that even when people make more content centering the woc poc and yes even WW it still doesn’t get any#traction bc y’all haven’t unpacked as much of ur racism and misogyny as u think u have#making hcs about tim being a Barbie and Jason being a feminist and dick painting his nails is not progressive when Steph and cass are#cardboard cutouts or the vehicles through which the white men discover feminity is ok actually and nothing else#and then Duke and Damian are the token straights or allies. like y’all are so sick lmao
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exopelagic · 3 months
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honk shoo.
#but yeah sleepy.#i have so much to do these next few days I’m gonna die#meanwhile I just wanna see my friends#the good thing is that some of the busy things involve seeing my friends but goddamn why are almost all of them hard#also YES I’m going to be dumb and gay again bc a) why shouldn’t I b) nobody can stop me#I’m being dumb and gay again.#now seen The Guy twice since I’ve been back and he’s very cool#still feel like I’m being insane god idk what I’m doing#I hope he comes tomorrow bc he can’t make the meeting which means he won’t be on committee which sucks bc he did want to#OH but I did mean to tell him there was one role he could go for and have a good shot at that I think he’d be good for#only problem is if he doesn’t come tomorrow I can’t tell him in time bc I don’t have any way to message him other than email#(which feels slightly creepy bc I only know it bc secretary and he’s never explicitly said his surname so it’s just inferred from the list)#idk. the thing that gets me is we are very much friends now. like early stages of friends but we keep talking at hockey#and importantly he keeps coming To Me which keeps surprising me bc he does it more than any of my other friends#but I guess I’m also coming to him kinda a lot too. self awareness falls when around cute boy you get how it is#god it’s so unfair why is he like this#I finished getting my skates off before he did yesterday which gave me a very good opportunity to Look while he was talking#and have it not be weird and he’s just very pretty. he’s got a rlly nice nose#i always feel insane pointing out noses it’s the Draw speaking bc I use noses as a focal point and they’re fun to draw#tbh it’s unlikely I will say someone does Not have a nice nose but idk let me have this. it would be fun to draw is maybe what I mean#and I hadn’t noticed before bc the like bridge? and uhh like. base? idk nose words but they don’t match#the bridge is super long and on the thin side w a bump like mine but the like bottom is much rounder and wider and I don’t see that mix much#he also just has rlly nice hair it’s super curly and he’s in that like weird light brown purgatory where it’s all different colours#like it’s mostly light brown but some bits look rlly dark and some especially at the ends is like almost blonde and it changes w the light#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous#he looks like a spider folding in on itself and the worst part is he can fucking do it#he’s gotten so good at skating recently and I have a feeling he lives somewhere with an ice rink bc I’m sure he’s better than he was novembr#yeah I also got to just stand and watch him play yesterday and it’s so incredibly horribly unfair#anyway I’m too fucking gay and I will not let him escape me again tomorrow I Will get his instagram or smth bc I swear this man#luke.txt
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arthur-r · 7 months
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falling asleep worked i did it for three hours. now what i’m still tired i just also wasted the day and looked stupid to my roommate….
#like im glad i slept but also. same problems as before#although my french teacher emailed me back said i should go to office hours. which is a proper response to my email#wikipedia guy texted me back with details like an hour after i texted but also like two or three hours ago#gonna settle the score by bringing a $20 bill tomorrow then i won’t feel so weird and guilty#but no i feel so fucking stupid and gross for like. i was crying so close to my roommate so i had to fall asleep#or else i’d be standing up with tears in my eyes next to my roommate which is worse#but i just. i dont know. like he thinks i’m just lazy. i’m always asleep i never tell him why#i dont know. good morning i hope everyone is doing well#there are two people i usually get dinner with and one is out of town and the other i think his parents are here and also things are weird#translation things aren’t weird i’m just weird and feel guilty for being such a weird person#anyway i just. college?? what am i doing here????#i talked to my mom this morning she says that she felt the same way during college and that she should have dropped out way earlier#which. not helpful?? what do i do after i drop out?? i am someone who can’t hold a normal part time job and my only HOPE is ending up being#i mean anything really just something that requires a lot of prior experience!!#and the college is paying me really good to go to school but only if i stay full time#so i cant just lower my course load because that will actually make everything worse instead of better#idk. going to french teachers office hours tomorrow and will figure out time for linguistics teacher too and will get my LIS grade back up#(that one is just simple that one is i missed two discussion posts but there are ten more to come and also tests and stuff. i’ll be ok)#idk. and i still want to go to my LIS teachers office hours and ask how he became professor of rare books print culture and information bias#that is a good set of things to be a scholar for. and he’s curating collections at the same time as being my teacher#so idk. professors don’t seem as stupid and uppity as they used to. and i think i want to do that someday#plus with the salary jump from librarian i can feasibly become a major donor to local libraries to keep that influence around shdhdf#(although. if i get paid by the school (!!) to get a phd in print culture who says i don’t become a fancy librarian with that??)#i dont know. this is so stupid because i get so excited about the prospects and then i go back to the present and i’m flunking out of school#my grades haven’t been this bad since the height of COVID i thought something about me had gotten better but apparently not#like literally who went and made me traumatized?? why did you have to do that?? now i can’t be a normal person?? shut up!!!!#idk. just feel like if i weren’t having panic attacks about the fact that people are safe and kind here (and therefore must be hiding their#true intentions and taking advantage of me) then maybe i would have remembered to take my french test#idk. i’m tired and want to go home. sorry for venting all day i hope everyone is doing okay#vent cw
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Idk why people get sooo mad when a word applies to something they think it doesn’t. Like. I’m diagnosed as being mildly intellectually disabled (because I am severely dyspraxic), it is medically and legally in black and white and there is Thorough ass paperwork that goes into detail as to how. (I won’t get too specific here but I’m categorized as “severely impaired” in the areas of motor speed and coordination, rapid mental flexibility, and spatial perception and orientation.)
Quantitatively and qualitatively doctors have tested and retested to figure out that objectively i fit the criteria, and therefore am officially categorized as such. That’s not a political statement or something I *want* to be true or false, it’s just fact. Not as in my ✨lived experience✨ but as in science. There’s not a secret other definition that doesn’t apply to me, just because an acquaintance is uncomfortable with it for whatever reason. You don’t know more about intellectual disability than neurologists do just because you have a tumblr account
#was reading abt the problems w IQ for school and remembered when I got diagnosed and everyone was like BUT YOUR IQ#first of all my IQ is also in the mildly intellectually disabled range but also that’s irrelevant bc IQ is bullshit#people love to double down about this and for WHAT what threatens you about my diagnosis#if you don’t know Anything abt the systems intellectually disabled ppl interact w you don’t get to act like an authority#people think they know the MOST and then the most basic aspects of me being categorized this way are like. breaking news to them#if ur the expert on me and my condition why is everything abt it such a shocker#i just. dunno what it is abt this term that bothers people so much#is it that it sounds too severe to apply to me? have u just only heard it applied to a few things so new info is hard to adjust to?#is it bc the one time you’ve heard of (mild) dyspraxia it was talked abt in different words? (which don’t have to contradict)#I just. genuinely don’t understand why this is an argument ppl want to win lol#it’s not even an argument bc it’s not even My viewpoint it’s just true#i shouldnt have to pull out my 10 page document full of numbers u won’t understand just bc You decided several doctors used a word wrong#and like. idk why it irks me so much bc it’s not smth i view as positive or negative to me. it just is#it’s not like for example when ppl tell me I’m not bi and ur denying smth I feel proud of#if u disagree about what medical terminology applies to me it’s not like I’m attached to the words themselves bc they’re just. true#i think it has more to do w ppl like. openly knowing nothing abt certain kinds of disabilities n still thinking they know more ..#.. than the ppl who have them or their doctors. like do u think ppl with these disabilities can’t be trusted or can’t understand#bc that’s. how you say. ableist#mine#txt#dyspraxia
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aroaessidhe · 1 year
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2023 reads // twitter thread  
Never Been Kissed
adult demi mm romance
a film studies graduate managing his town’s dying drive in theatre is desperate to save it, and tries to convince a reclusive local director to show her lost media film
also his ex crush/best friend is the new social media manger there
#never been kissed#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#ok first i was looking at GR to write my little blurb and it and all the reviews ONLY mention the romance plot none of the old movie subplot#that was the only interesting thing to me but i guess the romance part is more significant#the set up of the romance plot which is all mentioned in the blurb was kinda stupid and unnecessary#like i don’t  get the conflict between them at the start. lmao what was the point in the email thing. just to make it immediately awkward?#would the history & suddenly in the same job not do that just as well?#i was fully expecting the other email guy to show up late in the book or something but that was just. never mentioned again#the mc is. pretty infuriating tbh#half the conflict at the start is them not getting a chance to have. conversation because the MC keeps stopping the LI from telling him anyt#thing. either by saying “i don’t want to talk” or just cutting him off with what he assumed he’s gonna say.#even later in the book he keeps cutting him off which still causes problems!!!!!#“he promised we could communicate but was keeping a secret” bitch you never let him tell you anything#alloro people are so annoying. also he’s like an annoying film fan. like not in the misogynistic way but….#+ he’s come out as gay but feels like something isn’t quite right identifies as queer (idk why he can’t use gay….what’s with people thinking#that asexuality and gayness are mutually exclusive identities). like yay for queer also but?? both are true#overall: sure i guess?? i liked the grumpy old lady. everything else i didn’t care about much#uh there’s also a ‘totem pole’ misuse reference somewhere in there
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ugh i dunno what to do
#one of my friends moved away at the beginning of this year#and when she’s been back in town#our whole group has been trying to do something together so that we can see her#but apparently in smaller catch-ups she’s been having with just a couple of our friends#(which she did when she didn’t tell the rest of us she was coming back bc she didn’t want to see us)#she was really bitching about my best friend#so those friends told it back to us bc. that was shitty.#and she’d never had a problem with my best friend before#so obviously she (best friend) was really upset about it#anyway she (friend that moved) is coming back these holidays#and is trying to organise a meet up#a lot of my friends are away or working#and can’t do the date she’s said#so only 2 of my friends are able to go#i haven’t replied saying i can yet#bc she said some really shitty things about my best friend#and we’ve been friends since kindergarten#so it hurts a bit that she made an effort to reach out to friends she’s known for 2 years#when me and a couple of other friends (including my friend she secretly insulted)#have been friends with her for like. 12 years.#so i’m not sure if i really want to go#so i didn’t respond in group chat messages#(which isn’t very suspicious bc i normally just lurk and don’t say anything)#but now she’s messaging me privately to see if i’m coming#and i don’t know what to do#bc i don’t know if i want to#so i’m just. not opening the message.#bc if i don’t open it she can’t see that i’ve read it#but i don’t want to keep ignoring it#i know i’m being petty but 🤷‍♀️
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yoohyeontual · 7 months
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Saw that the Tumblr icon on my iPad changed so I went to see what’s up and WE FINALLY CAN REPLY WITH THE BLOG WE WANT !!! THANK YOU !!! Now staff make it so when you block someone it’s block on all sb too thanks I’m tired of blocking 3 times
#I’m tired of forgetting to add this is blah blah main when someone somment something on my sideblog 😭#my phone is sadly too full for the update but at least my iPad is ! I’ll answer on it when someone comment ckdnjdnd#now I’m leaving again !#oh I should update that my mom recognized she fucked up (will she learn a lesson though? only time we’ll tell us)#so she apologize my dad didn’t care but he went to get her at work today and they’ve been talking like nothing happen#since they had to go grocery shopping cause the fridge was empty#idk if they talked or they just decided it was better to not say anything and fight again#so I’m happy again don’t wanna d*e anymore until I look for job at least fkdndjdn#which is what I should do but I’m ignoring my problems reading ncjdndjnd#i waited at least today see if my parents were still on the verge of divorcing or not and they seem okay so I guess i’ll check 🙄#pray that I found something nice 😭#I’m tempted to find something that maybe I could work 4 days a week and not 5 but I’ll never find that#cause honestly I only pay for my phone and Sowon food + litter (and vet if needed) I don’t need that much#I did promise them I would pay for Puppy’s pills if I work though cause it’s like 200$ maybe less maybe more even I can’t remember a month#my mom is struggling bad since he got those pills it’s a lot for her small salary#I’m so lucky that my parents let me be even if they struggle but I feel so bad I need to get diagnose soon cause I’m difinetely anxious#and it’s ruining my life#also had to get check for ADHD and Autism words from my doctor for the ladder I’m personally not sure ? everyone tells me no#but those people knows nothing about autism they only person that says there’s ‘’high chance’#is bestie and she study in psychology a little for her field so I trust her judgement way more ! but maybe it’s just a mix of the other 2#that make it seem like I may who knows one day we’ll have the answers#okay I’m talking to much now I’ll go don’t know if I’ll come back soon but at least I wanted to tell you I felt better !#we are back at the normal worries only 🤪#alex.txt
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cosmosis · 11 months
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - jealousy
miguel gets jealous possessive after a new intern flirts with you this is part of the same universe as my call oneshot!
Being 2nd in charge of the multiverse is... honestly not that hard for you. It’s mostly just co-leading, and being a secretary. Lyla helps out a bunch, but sometimes, a sassy AI can only do so much. 
Jess informed you of a new intern she recruited. Apparently, he’s having his first day today, which means you’ll probably have to do a quick run-through of things with him later. 
For now, it’s your fated duty to sit with Miguel at his desk so he doesn’t get all pouty later. He starts huffing and puffing when you aren’t near, takes it out on the kids sometimes. 
Thanks to your suggestion, Miguel invested in a nice desk and swivel chair for the office, so now it looks more like an actual workspace instead of a maniac’s plot room. (either way, he his one lmao)
Since Lyla’s gone for the time being, you’re standing up on the office platform, tapping away at a multitude of screens. Miguel lays lazily in the office chair, swiveled up behind you to rub his face into your upper back, as well as run his hands along your tummy. 
“Hun, you gotta let go. I needa tour the intern.” You mutter, closing in on an ID photo of the recruit.
“No.“
“Well, if I don’t do it, then who will?“ You ask. 
“Jess.“
“She’s busy on her break. Pregnant women need breaks, you know.“
“Ugh. I don’t want you to leave.“ He whines. squeezing you tighter. 
You start squirming out of his grip, pulling his pinky off of your stomach. Inching away, you push Miguel away by his head. Reluctantly, he starts letting you go, lazily running his hands onto the skin of your hips and lower thighs before letting go. 
“I’ll see you in a bit, baby.“ You say, scuffing up his hair with your palm. Gracefully, you leap down from the platform, somersaulting onto the floor and skating out the exit. You hop over a few stray cardboard boxes. 
Miguel watches you stroll away, and fixes his hair back into place. 
Lyla magically appears, phasing in and out with a different sly look each time. She snickers, flickering all around Miguel’s head. 
“Whipped.“
“Shut the fuck up.“
. . .
Miguel’s blood starts to boil as soon as you roll in with that stupid, bastard of an intern. He’s too close to you for comfort, so close to his arm nudging yours... Miguel’s teeth start to clench, his fangs close to drawing blood from his mouth. He’s paying too much attention to you, there’s a vibe he gets that he hates to his core. 
Everything about him is aggravating; the blonde hair, the snarky smirk, all of it.  
“...and this is Miguel’s office!“ You say, gesturing your hand to the majority of the area. 
“Sweet, nice to meet the bossman.“
Bossman, his ass. Miguel would only ever let you call him bossman. 
“Miguel! Come down!“ You yell, and his heart warms in his chest. He turns around from his standing form on the office platform, eyeing the intern in order to scare him a bit. 
“Hey, what’s up man! Glad to finally meet the man behind the slaughter!“ The intern exclaims, his hands rested on his hips. 
Miguel fights every urge to both roll his eyes and tackle the recruit, keeping a somewhat straight face on. He chuckles a little, not a single trace of a smile on his face. 
“Heh, yeah? Excited to meet the bossman?“ Miguel taunts, but it looks like the intern can’t tell he is. 
“Heck yeah dude! Where do I start?“
Miguel starts nodding a little, plastering on a face smile, chuckling a bit...
Before he throws the entire office chair at the recruit. Not to hit you, though. He’d never, ever hit you. 
Instantly, the intern turns away, shielding his body with his hands. In the nick of time, though, you latch your webbing onto the chair, slinging it away to side before it could harm anyone. You cross your arms. 
“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry about tha- MIGUEL!“ You scream. 
And he throws a literal file cabinet at the man. Again, you latch it out of way without problem. 
“What th'heck, man?! What’s your fuckin’ problem?!“ The intern yells, spreading his arms out. 
“My fuckin’ problem is you nagging my wife!“ He roars. 
“Wait a sec- she’s your wife?“
Miguel then  leaps down from the platform, chin held up high in a sinister glare. Slowly, he steps over towards the both of you, fixing his eyes on the intern the entire time. 
Miguel’s tall, really tall compared to the newbie. He pokes his finger to the recruit, leaning in real close. 
“Stay at least 5 feet away from my wife at all times.“ Miguel utters, and you kinda feel bad for the new guy. 
You cross your arms. “C’mon, Miguel. He’s literally new, take it easy on him!” You say back, and Miguel pouts, whines. Possessively, he reaches over to you, pulling in you in by the hip to try to soothe you. It doesn’t work, and you present yourself from giving into his needy touches.  
And then, you turn around back to the newbie. “Gosh, I’m so sorry about that! He’s usually not like this-”
“Man, fuck this.“ The intern exclaims, taking a few steps back in agitation. “Take me back home, I ain’t dealin’ with this shit!“
He storms off, kicking a stray cardboard box on the way out. 
“Aw, crap.“
“Finally.“
You swerve back around, hands on your hips. “Miguel, that was uncalled for.”
“Yes it was! He was smothering all over you!“ He yells, throwing his hands up in the air like it was the most obvious thing ever. 
“Well, now thanks to you, we lost a recruit.“
“One of literally thousands!“
“And now, there’s papers everywhere on the floor!“
“Shhh, honey, I’ll clean it up later.“
Ignoring your frown, Miguel finally pulls you into him, pressing your lower back into his own with a nose into your hair.
“I saw the way he put his arm around you. He was flirting with you too. Hated it.“ Miguel utters. 
“When?“ You ask.
“On the surveillance.“ He says, and you sigh. He’s right, the guy was flirting with you for a bit, but you chose to ignore it so you could get over with the tour faster. 
“Eh, he gave me the heebie jeebies from the beginning.“ You say, and Miguel automatically squeezes you tighter into him, a deep grumble bellowing from his inner throat.
“I’m never letting you tour anyone ever again.“ Miguel admits.
“After that? Go ahead.“ You scoff, and finally, he sighs in relief. 
He tries drags you back to the office platform again, but then forgets that he threw the chair, grumbling in regret. Instead, he just hovers behind you for the rest of the day, occasionally pressing a smooch to your head. 
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felinefractious · 2 days
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Speaking of hairlessness the previous ask reminded me to ask. Does it cause any health issues in cats besides being cold/lots of yeast infections? In rabbits the symptoms of it range from mild to very severe depending on which gene is causing it (specifically there’s one gene that usually results in kits only surviving to up to a few months.) Was curious how’d they compare!
This is probably among my most controversial breed takes but… no, I don’t consider Sphynx to be particularly ethical.
I wouldn’t say they’re on the same level as “can’t fucking breathe” Exotics or “every moment is pain” Folds and obviously not anywhere near as bad as what you’re describing in hairless rabbits… but it’s (personally) still a hard no from me.
I wouldn’t consider yeast infections a minor or benign issue. Yeast infections suck, anyone who’s had one can tell you that. They’re itchy and uncomfortable and all around unpleasant.
A Domestic Shorthair comes in with a yeast infection and it’s a problem that you treat, a Sphynx comes in with a yeast infection and it’s a breed trait that yes you try to treat but understand it’s a uphill battle that’s not likely to completely resolve for an extended period of time.
Overproduction of yeast and hairlessness in cats go hand in hand.
Cutaneous carriage of Malassezia species in healthy and seborrhoeic Sphynx cats and a comparison to carriage in Devon Rex cats
Malassezia pachydermatis and M nana predominate amongst the cutaneous mycobiota of Sphynx cats
Without a hair coat the natural oils produced by the skin just sit there, which is why Sphynx cats require frequent bathing and wiping down. Skin issues are a practically a feature of the breed, no amount of bathing or wiping can replace the function of a natural hair coat.
Video of an 8 week old Sphynx being groomed.
The same thing goes for the ears and nail beds, they require very frequent cleaning but you’ll never be able to keep them as clean as a coated cat. The fur is there for a reason, it works 24/7 while manual cleaning is only present periodically.
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They’re also more prone to ocular issues like corneal sequestrum and entropion, I would think this is related to the lack of eyelashes and eyebrow whiskers which serve to protect the eye from debris (similar to our own eyelashes) and alert the cat when something is near their eye and they should close it to avoid a jab.
Prevalence and characteristics of ocular diseases in Sphynx cats: A retrospective assessment (2012–2021) and comparison with non-Sphynx cats
This all tracks with my lived experience with Sphynx cats. This is a very popular breed where I live and we see them frequently. We see repeat, long-term Sphynx owners and we see new Sphynx owners.
I used to be fine with Sphynx cats, I thought they were just another breed with higher grooming requirements - not a big deal, many longhair breeds also have increased grooming needs! But working with them gradually shifted that opinion, and then I began to see these issues where I’d missed them before… how even breeding cats shared by their cattery often have black, dirty nails or how well-known Sphynx owners discuss dermatitis as just part of the breed you treat as needed.
I realized these issues are the rule and not the exception - and it sucks, because pretty much every Sphynx I’ve met has such a good personality. They’re awesome lil’ guys!
Anyways, these are just issues related to their lack of hair - it isn’t touching on other concerns like the insanely high prevalence of HCM in the breed.
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