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#god it’s so unfair why is he like this
exopelagic · 3 months
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honk shoo.
#but yeah sleepy.#i have so much to do these next few days I’m gonna die#meanwhile I just wanna see my friends#the good thing is that some of the busy things involve seeing my friends but goddamn why are almost all of them hard#also YES I’m going to be dumb and gay again bc a) why shouldn’t I b) nobody can stop me#I’m being dumb and gay again.#now seen The Guy twice since I’ve been back and he’s very cool#still feel like I’m being insane god idk what I’m doing#I hope he comes tomorrow bc he can’t make the meeting which means he won’t be on committee which sucks bc he did want to#OH but I did mean to tell him there was one role he could go for and have a good shot at that I think he’d be good for#only problem is if he doesn’t come tomorrow I can’t tell him in time bc I don’t have any way to message him other than email#(which feels slightly creepy bc I only know it bc secretary and he’s never explicitly said his surname so it’s just inferred from the list)#idk. the thing that gets me is we are very much friends now. like early stages of friends but we keep talking at hockey#and importantly he keeps coming To Me which keeps surprising me bc he does it more than any of my other friends#but I guess I’m also coming to him kinda a lot too. self awareness falls when around cute boy you get how it is#god it’s so unfair why is he like this#I finished getting my skates off before he did yesterday which gave me a very good opportunity to Look while he was talking#and have it not be weird and he’s just very pretty. he’s got a rlly nice nose#i always feel insane pointing out noses it’s the Draw speaking bc I use noses as a focal point and they’re fun to draw#tbh it’s unlikely I will say someone does Not have a nice nose but idk let me have this. it would be fun to draw is maybe what I mean#and I hadn’t noticed before bc the like bridge? and uhh like. base? idk nose words but they don’t match#the bridge is super long and on the thin side w a bump like mine but the like bottom is much rounder and wider and I don’t see that mix much#he also just has rlly nice hair it’s super curly and he’s in that like weird light brown purgatory where it’s all different colours#like it’s mostly light brown but some bits look rlly dark and some especially at the ends is like almost blonde and it changes w the light#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous#he looks like a spider folding in on itself and the worst part is he can fucking do it#he’s gotten so good at skating recently and I have a feeling he lives somewhere with an ice rink bc I’m sure he’s better than he was novembr#yeah I also got to just stand and watch him play yesterday and it’s so incredibly horribly unfair#anyway I’m too fucking gay and I will not let him escape me again tomorrow I Will get his instagram or smth bc I swear this man#luke.txt
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zeb-z · 5 months
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Etoiles, bitter and resentful, still trying to be kind and still looking out for Bad, wondering where the justice is that he’s forgotten purgatory. Roier beyond angry, pissed, furious, breaking the stone of his basement and wondering just why everyone else seems to have forgotten purgatory. Red team with the only confirmed missing members, who grew to rely on eachother, now separated, while Bad, their biggest aggressor and source of trauma, gets to get off like nothing happened. Gets to walk around with his son. Gets to visit them all and start casual conversation as if purgatory never happened. But it did, and he can’t, not with Roier. Who tries to shoo Bad away, encourages him to drink lava. Not with Etoiles, who while he’s patient and seemingly gentle, keeps constantly reminding him about his actions in purgatory. Maybe with Phil, who’s tried since the beginning to be the one above it all, the bloodshed and the fallout.
I dunno. something about how Cellbit and Foolish haven’t returned, and Roier is taking care of another kid, and Baghera is gone and Etoiles just has to carry on with his duties in the resistance, and Max is dead and the island doesn’t even know, and their kids are all in a coma except for Dapper, who sticks with his father, and the rest of blue team don’t seem to be stuck with the anger and misery, don’t seem to remember purgatory like they do. red team won, and they’re the ones who lost the most. red team won, and they’re the ones who cannot move on, who will not move on, as much as the island wants them to. something about trauma, and the rage that comes with the aftermath, when people try to return to normal, because how can you act like nothing happened when we’re still without our family, our loved ones, how dare you act like nothing happened when it did happen, and we’re still suffering for it?
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number1jeonginstan · 5 months
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HOW IS HE THIS GOOD LOOKING...
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landoncrris · 10 months
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he is so so pretty i can’t
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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psycho-mocha · 2 months
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i should not be allowed to have feelings
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everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me
#rant#i guess#it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever#like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning#i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry#its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too#it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but#a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container#or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside.#it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time.#i hate this survivalistic shit#its not long before i move out thank god but still#he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything#like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice.#i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it.#and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive#at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont#let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know#writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy
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kyuala · 6 months
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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything
#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either#anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable#and imaginable way possible like#and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam#family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life#he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good#christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif#we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for#the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would#have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only#he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life#he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our#church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty#much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl#stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the#long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an#he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING#and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY#WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time#WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE#and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me#but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't#mari.txt#personal#tw negative#dl#btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never#had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.
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euphor1a · 1 year
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to the boyfriend i want so hopelessly but will never have, happy birthday milove ♡
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#gyugyu 🐶#hiiii ! yes this is the mandatory ‘it’s my ult bias day’ sappy ass long delulu message from aleyna 💌#so pls proceed with caution bc once i start talking it’ll get ... yeah. anyway#happy mingoo day everyone 🥺🥺#he the loml 💖 (... one of many but let’s not talk about that *cough*)#i just love him so much :((#the giant puppy boy who stole my heart and never gave it back 😭😞#also he’s literally the most boyfriend to ever boyfriend?????? it’s so unfair ☹️#just another day of not having mangyu 😔... what is life#do you know the feeling when you like look at someone and your heart starts swelling in your chest so much that it hurts??#that’s exactly how i feel whenever i look at mingyu 🥺! i appreciate and love every little thing about him so much i :(( can’t explain#he’s soooooo comfort shaped i love him 😞. god. wanna pepper kisses all over his face and tell him how happy he makes me and#how precious he is and how i’d actually commit arson for him 😭#also wanna kith those pretty moles 🥺🤏🏼 nnnnnnnn#why so babie if so huge 😔 he’s literally a giant puppy baby ashtsjjdhk GOD#when he laughs/giggles >>>>>>>>>!! my heart is hurting so BAD i’m so fond of him 😭😭😭#every now and then i find myself going; SIR WHY ARE U DOING THIS ARE U WILLING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY POOR HEART??#like loving him literally unlocked a whole new spectrum of emotions for me idk how to explain this like a sane person#in short this is like. the most fucking delulu i’ve ever been in my life 💀? or at least it feels like it...#😩 just one chance PLS!!! PLS I BEG!!!! :(( i’m so down bad it’s SO BAD#a very brainrot inducing man (the type i always fall for 😔?! started seeing the patterns hhhhh)#the amount of love my little body holds for him is insane 😷 (little in comparison to him btw... i’m generic female height 👾)#loving mingoo feels like a rainy night where you’re cuddling with your loved one under a blankie; about to fall asleep bc of how cozy u are#i wish words were enough to express how i feel about this man... but it really isn’t 😕!#he just means a lot to me okay?#he’s everything and beyond 💓 i love him like my whole life depends on it (although i’m like that for several people)#not my fault that my heart is so fucking big and it has separate places to store everyone i adore 💖#happy bday babylove 🥺 i hope your day is filled with the happiest of moments and you can celebrate properly 💕#it’s so sad that you’ll never know how much you mean to this random girl on the other side of the world :/#i’m so done for aren’t i? took like 40 minutes to type and everything... sigh. i love him so bad </3
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bbbrianjones · 6 months
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um guys........ i think u need to understand i'm going fucking insane over this picture
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ronon-dex · 7 months
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just watched thirty days 😠
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the mine thirst from the previous anons my god y'all need a whole ass water tank HDHWJE
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good morning tumblr today's broadcast is brought to you by Why Is Yoshitaka Mine So Fucking Pretty
#snap chats#GOOD MORNINGALKJ#CELEBRITY APPEARANCES FROM MAS AND MSKMA OMG WHAT AN HONOR HI GUYS#im gonna finish up my palette requests then doa comm but WOW#WOW....#i be actin like a catholic rn but i also think mine is pretty enough to drive a man insane#its me im the man in question BUT i behave myself. i will not act up#also first anon's right that plane scene was peak#it doesnt do anything for me like the eyeball scene does but it is close and i do love the scene#full yandere moment <3<3<3 he's such a silly girl <3<3<3#i love mine i love how he's calm 99% of the time and then the 1% he's just completely insane#deranged. devoted. passionate. i love you sir please keep being you i hope you never get better#well. i guess you cant get better when youre dead but </3#BUT YEAH NO MINE IN ISHIN IS SOOOOO HANDSOME ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR#LIKE IF YOU LOOK AT MY STEAM SCREENSHOTS FOLDER IM 99% SURE I TOOK A SCREENSHOT EVERY FRAME HE WAS ON SCREEN#HE'S SO HANDSOME I CANT STRESS THAT handsome squidward moment How You Make Him MORE Handsome Oh My God#its very much an Eros and Apollo moment yk that song. LOVE that song LOVE studio killers...#like mine's not hot he's handsome yk what i mean. like he's incredibly attractive but in like a sophisticated/put-together kind of way#and it's cause of that i go insane BEECAAAUUSSSE he's seemingly normal 90% of the time and just a pretty thing to look at#and then he does some insane bullshit and its like Oh You're Not Normal. Why's My Heart Growing Three Sizes
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perenlop · 3 months
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for a romhack thats supposedly about darkrai, eots is reallyyyyyyyy obsessed with chatot. it also reallyyyyyyyy hates chatot.
#we gave the game an unreliable protagonist and narrator who is meant to be kinda terrible bc this is an ‘’off’’ take on the game#meant to feel uncanny and its supposed to be uncomfortable and creepy when the guild members reject you for your behavior#but god chatot is apparently sooooooo nasty and evil and lazy and corrupt we gotta introduce a whole new guy#just to back up the hero that yep!!! hes evil incarnate and nasty!!#the hero is unreliable except for when we wanna vent abt the characters we dont like#its not even that i like chatot and want to defend him it just feels so exhausting and weird#like i thought this was about darkrai why are you spending all these scenes talking about how chatot is horrible and mean#im sorry im not over brelooms backstory. its supposed to be unfair and gross and ik he didnt exactly deserve to get evicted or anything#but seriously???? it comes across like a teen throwing a fit that his mom asked him to do the dishes for one night#and then got upset when the dishes werent done the next morning and asked their mom why she didnt just suck it up and do them#i feel like a factor here is that people forget that the apprentices arent kids. even hero and partner while implied to be young can be seen#as young adults but everyone else comes across like an adult to me. so its not like theyre exploiting babies#echoed voice#it sucks bc other than this i like this romhack quite a bit! i think the stuff with hero is really interesting#i like the second timeline i like the uncomfortable changes i like how you actually make partner worse as an inversion to the vanilla game#but when the chatot stuff happens it takes me out of it. free my man he did some bullshit but not all that
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thedevotionaltour · 18 days
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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arolesbianism · 7 months
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Almost got too comfortable with liking a whole 3 25ji originals and tried listening to a 25ji cover playlist before I remembered that I do indeed still very much not like a good 99% of their covers
#rat rambles#sekai posting#samsa has become one of my favorite sekai songs period and bug and inanndesu are both alas absolute bangers#but one of those is hard carried by the story its tied to and the other is bug so it just kinda plain goes hard#but fr they sound sooooo fucking good in zamuza and the lyricssssss god#songs that hit harder if I close my eyes and pretend its more abt kanade than it actually is#Id be lying tho if I said that they dont sound good in inandesu#like bro it doesnt deserve to be in my top ten sekai songs but it still is so#like it goes hard they sound good miku sounds good the event is one of my favorite sekai events its so unfair#y'know truly these three songs are representative of my relationship with 25ji as a whole if you think abt it fndjfbdh#I went into bug not expecting it to go so hard zamuza hit me hard but took a lil while to appreciate the other members in it and inandesu#stuck in my brain against my will#and mizuki fits into this cause theyre the only 25ji member that isnt tied for my favorite sekai character lol#like look they have good originals. just none that I like the group cover or even the misuki solo of#like lower is pretty good. I hate the 25ji version tho#idk maybe Ill like kitty more in the future if I end up giving it more of a chance but it doesnt rly call to me rn#also on a almost related note god I wish I could like the vbs version of hitsuji ga ippiki more but idk why it just does not click with me#idk if its just me liking the vocaloid version too much or if the boys bring it down that much for me but smth abt it man idk#speaking of the guys rip to akito for not getting the yy solo he desperately needed#bro is doomed to only have one good solo til the end of time </3#like Im happy for an but man I wish all of them got yy solos they all sound soooo good in that cover#also give me shanti solos because I wanna like vbs shanti soooo bad but smth abt it doesnt click in the way I want it to#also delete vbs egoist from the game thanks <3
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castielmacleod · 1 year
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“The one guy that’s always had your back”
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