#the guilty;about
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-. wenzhe-core (pt. 1 oh god)
in response to the question 'you'd love your kids unconditionally no?': i don't even know those people yet. they just came out. they could be dicks for all i know
in response to a cis-straight white friend saying some awkward ignorant shit: your qi's all fucked bro, maybe we should kiss about it
in response to the WARRANTED question if he's bi, while visibly nervous: of course i'm a biped, is this about plato
in a conversation that had NOTHING to do with drag queens: on that note, i've been thinking, if a drag queen mugged me, i'd probably let her get away with it
wu zetian did nothing wrong by the way
i'm so glad it's your ben ming nian next year, like, fuck
uber? more like uberMENSCH, haha, nietzsche, amiright? ha....... no, i... uh. never went to oovoo javier, no
epic rap battles of history is NOT a good source just copy from wikipedia like everybody else does, like-
right after the previous one, in response to the question of how he recognized it was erb so fast, visibly sweating: what? i don't know what that is, sit down
in a lull in a group conversation after several moments of silence: y'know, i was thinking, if i wanted to kill my grandma, like, if i had to for some reason, i'd probably just have to cuss at her once, actually, but then my mother would kill me, so it's not worth it
aah~... i get it: the autistic swagger
people get way too worked up about c*nnibalism me thinks
a few moments before forgetting to salt a dish: recipes who go 'add salt' are stupid, of course i'll add salt, what would i not put salt into, BUT, then again, if a recipe doesn't say it, i will get confused, actually, so it's this whole thing, you know?
i wish getting upset would make me spit out blood the way it happens in wuxia's, it would add so much flair to my seasonal depression
apartment "complex"... really? i find it quite simple
"based"? based on what?
you're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?
road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does
you're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that i'm wrong?!
odysseus is the biggest fucking-- plays 3d chess concocting up that whole 'nobody' ploy and then at first opportunity he just-- 'oh, and by the way? fuck you, signed, odysseus of ithaca' who does that
yeah, no, it was awful. yeah, yeah it killed 502 people, yeah... yeah, no it was... yeah it was awful... wanna hear more about it?
drinking a slushie: i just realized i don't like slushies- no, stop, i'm not throwing it away, are you insane? it cost Money
fuck pineapples, they eat you back
you know, the only reason we're apex predators is because we figured out how to make things that make killing others easier, that's all, really, our success in history, in the world, our supremacy over other species, it all comes down to us killing our way to the top, which is probably why we're killing each other now, we have no other beings to bury beneath us... are you gonna finish that, by the way?
#;ooc#the guilty;about#cannibalism mention#i'm cutting up leftover meat for The Pets (the errands i mentioned)#and since my hands are busy i can only do two things 1. begrudgingly succumb to my need to rewatch aot s1#2. think about wenzhe bc he's in my head now#so this list was compiled painstakingly slowly every time i took my glove off and added one#had to add the golden trio of wittingly misunderstanding something#wenzhe would have THRIVED in vine era like... you would not BELIEVE it#i can't keep adding to this btw the more i add the more i realize he's just me without a filter
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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brexit <3
#my art#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#ggst#bridget guilty gear#bridget#can you tell a shitload of feelings about trans pride went into this one :')#MAN I SHOULD'VE ADDED A LITTLE SHARK IN THE BACKGROUND PATTERNS
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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?
(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia#and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed#et cetera and so on you know the rest#i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved#of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh#well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess#i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this#lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this#down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly#up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now#if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com
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He's just a gunky goopy lil guy
#qsmp#slimecicle#bobby qsmp#gegg#animation#lil animation before doomsday cause that conversation with bobby the other night GUTTED me guys#somethin anout slime having to so rapidly change the way he saw bobby (only a few seconds ago at that) and finally getting#some of that understanding and forgiveness he needs from someone who also knew tilin and blamed him for their death#and it coming from bobby#most violent kid on the server /aff#who he was talking about killing just a few seconds prior and who had the same outlook of blaming slime for tilins death as slime himself#REALLY gets to me#also bobby who's afraid of what might happen to him in the next few days#AAGHHHHHHHH#THEY BOTH LOVED TILINNNNN#(and both felt guilty)#my art#gif#(I think he was just trying to be a good uncle and messed up)#(I really hope you make it B)#(tell slime to feel free to go back to being himself)#(you're a good egg bobby)#<- looking at these line specifically#also the way charlie gets all quiet after he realizes bobby's talking about tilin#charlies conversations with leo and bobby as gegg both really got me#:(((((((
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once more around the sun!! :3
#mine#cats#happy new year!!! a little late but alas#i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh#i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey#in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me#also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill#i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy#im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares#if i do cute spreads i will share them :3#also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All#but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip#anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese#love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do!#and then did not do that#alas...time escapes me
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I love fighting game rosters because its like here’s the most attractive woman you’ve ever seen. Here’s an absolute freak of nature. Here’s a beautiful trans woman. Here’s a very gay young man. Here’s the coolest guy you’ve ever seen and he’s wielding a big sword. Heres a gorgeous nonbinary person. Here’s just a creature. Here’s a man who probably doesn’t know what fractions are. Here’s a guy where if he touches you you die instantly. Here’s a lesbian that likes to kick you
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#street fighter#sf6#tekken#fighting games#mortal kombat#super smash bros#smash bros#like ive just been thinking about it#every fighting game has at least one trans woman and i think thats the best ever#soul calibur
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Maybe he'll come around to it? 🤔
#guilty gear#ggst#aba guilty gear#paracelsus guilty gear#fanart#my art#i think the idea has to grow on paracelsus first#he didnt seem hyped about a body in the first place#wonder how he feels about it now in strive
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Elphelt Valentine... save me...
#you do not understand i just fell in love the moment i watched the video#like YEAH i gotta catch up with the gg story but. oh my goodness hiii i wanna know everything about you girl...#as an i-no main i can also say she looks so fun to play PLEASE I JUST NEED MONEY UEUE#elphelt valentine#guilty gear#guilty gear strive
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bidgit..
#funky!art#bridget guilty gear#guilty gear#I LOVE HERRRRRR!#Im so happy with how this one turned out I keep thinking about it and smiling it’s so good..This pose was so fun to do#gotta draw moreeeee….
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-. wenzhe-core (pt. 4 tbh pt. 4 was gonna be qianru-centric but i'm moving it to pt.5)
really disappointed if the 'jason derulo' or pitbull yell is missing from the song, he will go :O >:|
one of the taller muses on this blog (excluding muses like nathaniel & hermes who are Tall™ to make them a lil Uncanny; Hermes is the tallest muse btw) but wants to be the little spoon So Bad
has absolutely broken a pair of glasses by sitting on them
if he takes a really, really deep breath and just sort of holds it with an unreadable expression then he's very much counting to ten in his head
can't do the thing where you wet your fingers to flip a page better because if his wet finger comes in contact with anything papery he'll do a full body visceral shudder
pray that he never accidentally drop his ice cream he's not mentally built to go through that and i am not even joking oh my god
there's a good chance he'll cry or sort of dissociate due to the ferocity of his reaction if you kiss his forehead
his whole thing is mostly Very Casual & Relaxed & Assertive on the outside but so i so close to spiraling at all times
phone always on at night, notifications always on, if you call him in the middle of the night he will pick up
the babygirlification of xu wenzhe
he's that tiktok of the guy bemoaning the fact that he's 6'3 but wants to be dainty and babied
'who's that pokemon?' 'IT'S PIKACHU' 'it's clefairy!' 'FUUCK'
if he's muttering classic vines under his breath that's fine don't worry he's all right just wenzhe in his natural habitat
absolutely genuinely and in all seriousness: what the hell is eurovision, do they... do they look at? at the world from an european angle?? i'm-?? it's colonialism and the roman catholic church, babes, what is there to look at
NO it's frankenstein's MONSTER, the SCIENTIST is frankenstein, that's NOT THE MONSTER'S NAME--
you will NEVER... NEVER catch this man(?) confessing his feelings to someone
in response to the question 'what are your pronouns': why what are you saying about me
will pronounce things wrong with his whole entire chest
pretty much anti-discovering anything new about himself
a few 'Oh That's Very Wenzhe' shots of his manga fc: here, here, here
born to "haiii uwu <33" forced to "yo wsg"
would you still love me if i was a worm
what? no, it's not neurodivergency i'm just quite literally The Worst Person To Ever Exist
a few more 'Oh That's Very Wenzhe' shots of his manga fc: here, here, here
what? no, why would i go home? i'm perfectly fine, i don't get sick- (nasal voice, half-hunched-over, sweaty, wheezes after having taken only two steps, hallucinated two separate cats out of the corner of his eye)
smart kid highschool wenzhe voice: copying my homework costs two weeks of snacks, copying from tests can go up to a month of snacks-
someone: gosh he's so tall and he looks so cool and mysterious i wonder what he's thinking about; wenzhe's brain: hi- hi- welcome to starbucks, what can i get for you, a pink drink? hm, is that your idea of being funny? what're you gonna get then? ... a pink drink. hm~ what size? a medium. mm-mm, i don't know what that is. it's like between a small and a larg- ssh, mm-mm, no; we go by tall, grande, and venti here? most people know that. oh, do i look like most people, sweetheart? absolutely not. hm, that was a little condescending, don't you think? was it? yeah. cool! ... can i get a name for your order?
#;ooc#the guilty;about#IT NEVER ENDS that yu qianru centric one i will also post at one point sooner or later#thank you for indulging me and this malewife failgirl#i put this in the queue bc i ran out of posts omg#;queue
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Change is a two-way street.
(Is my favoritism towards the Damsel obvious enough, or?)
note: TLQ [aka my sona Bloombird] is a butch sapphic and this is yuri
#slay the princess#stp fanart#stp narrator#stp protagonist#the long quiet#the damsel#stp princess#stp damsel#swearing tw#blood tw#tw sui attempt#ask to tag#I'm pretty sure it's canon that the Princess gets to outlive Birdman atleast for a short bit before the construct resets#and that oftentimes they BOTH have to die for it to reset. So.... I imagine pre-Damsel Princess was pretty devastated#I read a really beautiful comment on an stp soundtrack video about the parallel between Damsel and Witch/Thorn#and how Damsel so felt guilty she wanted to give up her entire personhood and desires just to make Birdman happy#so this is very much inspired by that
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hi!!!! there been news articles saying that the working conditions of spiderverse were rlly rlly bad to the point of 100 ppl quitting or someting…. sorry to be liek an annoying reporter and b kinda invasive but is this tru D:
the big article that came out, for anyone curious: https://www.vulture.com/2023/06/spider-verse-animation-four-artists-on-making-the-sequel.html
there are some aspects about the article that i don't feel comfortable commenting on, but yes a lot of animators did quit. a lot of it had to do with the issues mentioned in the article, but a lot also left because disney opened a studio in vancouver (where sony imageworks is located) and had to hire an entire crew. i don't blame people for leaving spiderverse to get in on being a part of establishing the disney vancouver studio
i will also say that some of the information going around is incorrect; we did not work 11 hours a day, 7 days a week for over a year. working 7 days a week is illegal, and though some people worked sundays, they were clearly told that they could not work the next saturday if they worked a sunday. we encouraged people to not work ghost hours, and OT was always optional (except for saturday work towards the end, but nobody was punished or anything if they couldn't work a saturday). we also get paid for OT. i was on the movie for over a year but we certainly weren't crunching that whole time. like the article said, we were idle for a long time
it was undeniably a hard movie to work on and with such a large crew, everyone had a wide variety of experiences. the anonymous animators in the article aren't wrong, but i will say that there are people that felt differently, or not as strongly as them. it's a complicated issue that doesn't have a simple solution
i just hope this doesn't tarnish your view of the movie. we worked hard on it and everyone's immense celebration of the animation is making all that hard work very worth it!
#asks#anonymous#also mr sony let me take a huge ass vacation without making me feel guilty at all about it#and i keep my benefits while i'm away#so#yes working conditions can always be improved but we did the best we could with the cards we were dealt#i was also encouraged at several points during production by my boss and producer to take time off when i was showing signs of burn out#good beans#spiderverse
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Some sketches that I actually got around to finishing :)
(ID’s in alt text)
#zukka#zuko x sokka#zukka fanart#zukki#zukki fanart#zuko & katara#zuko & katara fanart#kataang#kataang fanart#sokka x suki x zuko#katara x aang#I don’t have much to say other than Zuko and Katara bestie agenda#zukki is my non guilty pleasure bc it’s too good to be guilty about it#Zuko listening to Sokka while he talks bs that Zuko is absolutely not paying attention to#kataang :)#It’s just#so sweet
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"Oh, this? Don't be ridiculous! It's not a marriage certificate! Look closely, okay? Throw away all your hangups, and simply do what you feel. Aren't you just dying to sign it? Won't it feel good? 3... 2... 1... sign!"
#elphelt valentine#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#poses#respects#crow.gif#guilty gif#this is probably all for now im kinda going through it rn im tired#but i love her so very much#fun fact of the two(?) lines for her silly little scoot respect. the wedding one she scoots way longer. like half the screen#i put it here bc its funnier to me#normally its like... a third of the distance for the other ones#its a concert poster on the gif bc i think player 2 was i no i cant be fucked to change it#why does she say that line like shes a magician also girl you sound like youre about to start doing card tricks
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