ily 2004 vampire the masquerade bloodlines. 

Ily janky ass unplayable combat mechanics and rushed ending levels entirely dependent on combat. Ily people trying their goddamn best to translate the pen and paper rules over to video game rules and still not Quite getting there but still having some things good to show for it. ily grungy disgusting streets and alleyways and sewers and warrens and bars and murder scenes and the strange people that inhabit them. Ily Confession and Asylum and Asp Hole and Last Round, and how distinct the bars are from each other aesthetically. Ily goth and punk fashion and music inspiration. Ily fangs showing in vampire npcs as they speak. Ily the absolute shitshow LA is and that you can see how the city is being pulled apart by the goddamn seams because of the brewing tensions and that no matter the outcome, the city loses.  

I love you John DiMaggio's performance as Smiling Jack and his behind the scenes scheming and meddling and violence. I love you Grey Delisle’s performance as Jeanette and Therese and the reveal of the sisters for first time players. I love you incredibly animated character performances in both voice and character model, leaving iconic and lasting impressions from multiple characters. I love you detailed monster designs from Ming Xiao’s cephalopod war form, Andrei’s draconic Zulo form, the many szlachta of the sewers and their small details people would otherwise miss but are still there regardless, and Zygaena’s hammerhead shark hengeyokai form. I love you Pisha and her weird little organ pit in the abandoned hospital. I love you zombies in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery whose presences are never really explained. I love you ghouls who are both normal and Freaks: Mercurio and Knox and Romero and Vandal. I love you Nines' faint country accent. I love you Chunk <3

I love you asshole women Imalia and Damsel and Therese. I love you bitch men Gary and Isaac and Beckett. I love you Lacuna Coil playing during the credits. I love you Lecher Bitch playing in the Last Round. I love you Bloodlines Theme and the rest of Rik Schafer’s album. I love you Deb of Night. I love you utter terror of the Ocean House Hotel ghosts and Griffith Park werewolves. I love you malkavian insight and nosferatu isolation. LaCroix. I love you Rosa and her prophecies and the replayability of the game from both a clan and informed context perspective

fake fic title! "crescent moons fix broken hearts"

would love it if it could be hl? 👀

Sorry this took so long! I really needed to write something today to flex the muscle, I hope you and @awesomefringey (who submitted the t-shirt pic) like it. 🥰 (I tried to post this twice with a moodboard but Tumblr wouldn’t let me. 😒)

🌙 Crescent Moons Fix Broken Hearts

Sitting in the en suite of the lavish hotel room, the soft lighting of the vanity illuminating the planes of his face, Harry let the radical irony of what he was about to do wash over him.

It was a weird thing, he realized, this feeling of waiting for a moment your entire life – preserving it, building it up – only to have it finally, finally come in a form so different it was almost laughable.

Not almost. Harry did laugh.

Half because he caught sight of his ridiculously nervous expression in the mirror, and half because apparently, one minute someone could be the perfect pure, virginal (if a little sexually frustrated) Omega groom-to-be fitting their bespoke wedding suit in at a highly exclusive designer shop, and three days later, be that very same Omega, revenge and wildly expensive tequila shooting through their veins as they booked their would-have-been honeymoon suite to have raunchy sex with an Alpha they’d hired specifically to finally deflower them, once and for all.

Turns out getting dumped in a Saville Row dressing room because one’s ex-fiancé thought they were quote, “an uppity, frigidly cold fish who he probably had no sexual chemistry with anyway”, unquote, really lit a fire under one’s arse.

Harry flared his nose in anger, his thoughts murderous as images of his beautiful, wasted wedding invitations danced back into his mind, haunting him. His cheeks began their now familiar pinkening with his remembered humiliation, and then…

A soft knock unfortunately interrupted Harry’s montage of fantastic daydreams of running over every single one of his ex-fiancé’s prized watches to the intro of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song.

“Come in,” he called out gently – or as gently as one could through gritted teeth.

As the door slid away, the unfamiliar, unassuming coolness of rosemary and sage rolled in slowly. Harry wasn’t used to it; accustomed to sharing spaces with the scent of warm whiskey and leather layered with that wretchedly expensive cologne Harry had always hated.

But back to the sage.

Sage, and rosemary, and cedar, and… he let the last note tickle his nose as he tried to name it.

“Are you okay?” Louis Tomlinson asked.

… and soap, Harry realized, oddly comforted even as he wondered whether the name was a pseudonym; wondered if it was standard procedure to print such a convincing alias on a discreet calling card that would eventually be passed across an elegant brunch table at the Dorchester.

(‘Niall, don’t be absurd,’ Harry had sniffed, trying his best to push the card back towards him without making a scene. ‘Jesus, just be normal and introduce me to one of your investment bankers, or something.’

Niall had given him a long, silent, and completely unimpressed look in response, glancing down at the engagement ring Harry was still wearing, if only to make a point. Ouch.

‘Harry, trust me. After this shitshow, you of all people deserve an orgasm on the first go. Treat yourself.’)

“I’m alright.” The polite platitude was out of his mouth accompanied by a reserved smile through the mirror before he could stop it.

It wasn’t like he could tell the truth anyway; not like he could say, ‘No, actually. I’m fucking livid, because a week ago I was about to be married, and today my financial manager called to ask if my credit card had been stolen because there was a suspicious charge from RoyaLT Enterprises for a ‘Platinum Package – All Inclusive’ on it when I was assured this service would be discreet, goddamnit!’

He bit his tongue, mostly because Harry didn’t tell Louis about the jilting; had decided against it the moment he had clicked ‘Platinum’, the description reading ‘two-week session with certified heat coach (Alpha) focused on scent familiarity, building sexual rapport, and discussing intimacy needs in addition to agreed heat cycle partnership.’

A virgin who had saved himself for marriage only to be jilted a week before his wedding because he was, in fact, a virgin, paying for sex and intimacy, trapped in a room with someone who really shouldn’t be as attractive as he had turned out to be… It had all just felt a little too humiliating.

Which, speaking of…

“Sorry,” Harry blurted out softly now, slowly coming to his senses. He turned to face Louis, his eyes widening. “We’re… we’re on the clock, aren’t we? Am I… I’m wasting your time?”

Louis chuckled softly – kindly, really – and casually leaned against the door frame, crossing his ankles. He was shirtless, Harry only now realized, as he watched him slip both hands into the pockets of his silk pajama bottoms, making them ride dangerously low against his happy trail.

Louis shook his head. “You’re supposed to take your time, get comfortable with me.” He raised his hand to gesture to himself – what he was wearing, and then the space between them. “This is all part of it.” He grinned wide, and Harry had noticed he was handsome when they’d met, but the genuine warmth of his smile is what made it. (Well, his smile, and his abs, and the still respectable but no less impressive hint of a bulge in his pajama bottoms…) “It’s called the boyfriend package for a reason.”

Funny, Harry thought then, feeling just a little bit… well, a little bit wet. He’d never had a boyfriend who looked quite like this.

Niall’s wise words began to reverberate in his mind: ‘Treat yourself.’

Harry bit back a cheeky smile. He intended to.

— Or, When Harry Styles did things, he did them right. Why should losing his virginity be any different?

Round 1 - Side A

Galahad art credit @spiralstain

Propaganda below ⬇️

Junk Rat

I wish his Catholicism meant if he got killed in game it would take him 3 days to respawn

Galahad

OKAY SO . "Galahad (played by Jonny d'Ville): a travelling preacher/religious zealot who is told to sit in the Siege Seat by Merlin, and discovers the fact that Fort Galfridian is falling into the star Avalon. He sparks the quest for the GRAIL, and willingly goes to his death to overcome its final defences." DUDE SAT IN THE CHAIR THAT IS KNOWN FOR KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE HIS CRUSH [MERLIN] [AKA HANGED MAN] [AKA DRUMBOT BRIAN] TOLD HIM TO . SORRY I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY. he found out the whole shitshow of a spacestation he lived on was gonna fall into the sun and he went around yelling about it incomprehensibly and got fucking gunned down trying to get the GRAIL and just kept going through the gunfire because of how Religious [tm] he was . he died . in once and future king it just "galahad's blind faith" . also hellfire goes really hard . he is the definition of going insane with the knowledge of the universe . also jonny dville played him thats bonus points

There was a prophet. The prophet gave three separate people three separate instructions. 1. Stop being racist 2. Love your son 3. Sit in the Chair That Makes People Insane Galahad received number three. He was the only one who followed the instructions. He sat in the Chair That Makes People Insane, saw the sun for the first time, and immediately starts preaching about how everyone will burn in hellfire

i dont know anything about this guy i just wanna help make Kai happy please dont like not count my submission just because i dont know anythinf except for the Kills You Chair im trying my best im sorry 😭

his themesong is called hellfire and it slaps btw go listen to it. anyways he is my blorbo blingus he is Deeply unwell i could fix him but also whatever is wrong with him is incredibly fascinating to watch. a robot dude who's been hanging from the gallows since forever told him 'hey go sit in the Chair That Kills People Who Sit In It' and he was like 'I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE'. the getting-his-brain-fried thing definitely made him worse but he was also clearly kind of fucked up before that. his death is probably one of my favorite scenes in any mechs album. maybe just straight up my favorite. ahem. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT FAITH, BUT IT CAN HAVE POWERFUL EFFECTS ON THOSE THAT HAVE IT. IT CAN KEEP YOU FROM FALTERING AS THE BULLETS START TO SLAM INTO YOU. IT CAN KEEP YOU WALKING AS YOU LEGS ARE SHOT TO BLOODY STUMPS. IT CAN KEEP YOU LAUGHING AS YOUR LUNGS ARE FILLED WITH SHRAPNEL AND LEAD. IT CAN KEEP YOU SMILING AS HALF YOUR FACE IS BLOWN AWAY. IT CAN KEEP A MAN LIKE GALAHAD STANDING TALL UNTIL THE GUNS. CLICKED. DRY. anyways go listen to high noon over camelot <3

my friends my people my... flock I HAVE HAD A VISION!! A VAST FIERY ORB FLOATIN IN AN ENDLESS VOID!! and there so small so feagile US!!! BUT FALLIN FALLIN FALLIN INTO THE FLAMES!!! your soul is connected to the world youre in youre draggin it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation and y'just give in we're fallin into the flames OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HEEEEELLLLLLFIIIRE YOUR BROW BECOMES SLICK AS YOU PERSPIRE YOU THINK YOURE THIRSTY NOW WAIT TIL IT GETS DRIER AND YA FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SICK AND SINFUL LIES WILL BUILD A FUNERAL PYRE YOUR PERVERSION SCARS THE STATION SON ITS GONAN FRY HER AND WE ALLLLLL FALL INTO THE FLAMES... oh i have SEEN DAMNATION MY BROTHERS!! ive FELT its searing heat within my VERY BONES !!!!!!! but there is a way me be saved... "OH TELL US FATHER GALAHAD, TELL US" I HEAR YOU CRY "IS IT PIETY IS IT PURITY IS IT VIRTUE?" NO!!! ONLY WAY TO SAVE US NOW IS THE HOLY GRAIL ITSELF... HAHAHAHAHHAAAA.... WELL THAT ORB OF DAMNATION MAKES THE SUN SEEM PALE YOURE QUITE CORRECT TO QUIVER YOU ARE RIGHT TO QUAIL THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE US IS TO FIND THAT GRAIL OR WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SKIN STARTS TO SIZZLE AS YOU EXPIRE YOU CLAIM TO BE VIRTUOUS BUT YOURE A LIAR !!!!! AND YOU FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES ... i said HEEEELLLLFIIIIRE HEEEEEEEELLLLFIRE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLFIIIIIREEE HEEEEEEELLLLLLFIIIIIIRE OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE AT THE HEART OF THAT INFERNO THAT WILL NEVER TIRE IVE SEE THE END IS NIGH AND DAMNATIONS NIGHER OH WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES

Ok i know this is kind of a shot in the dark because hes so obscure but i need to speak my truth. Hes so insane. The narrator calls him a “holy roller.” He has a vision which is meant to tell him that the place they live is LITERALLY going to get burnt to a crisp because its slowly falling into the sun. But hes like Oh my god i just had a vision of hell i need to save everyone from eternal damnation. And he happily gets killed and turned into a pile of slop because he believes its what he was “chosen to do” he quite literally dies for his religion. Hes also quite funny. I like him. Thank you

what misconception? 👀

I assume this is about the Civil War post I made and oh boy, so many. So, so many. Let me preface this by saying I actually like Civil War enough as a movie. Not as a Captain America movie, but it's engaging and I enjoyed it for the most part. I mostly dislike the dogshit opinions about it. To prevent this from turning into a dissertation, I'll just list the ones that come to mind first/irritate me the most:

"Steve was completely against regulation and oversight" WRONG. He was against the vagueness of it all. He explicitly says that he wants to know whose going to be holding his leash if he has to have one. In fact, he was about to sign the Accords before Tony told him about them preemptively enforcing it and detaining Wanda. Steve was willing to consider the Accords, Steve was trying to discuss the Accords, Steve was on the path to being open to the Accords before the moral failings of it were already shining through. Steve, rightfully so, is distrustful at this point of anonymous authority. Following the news that Hydra had their nasty paws in SHIELD and other high positions in government, Steve decides that he wants to know more about the people who have authority over him. Seems reasonable enough.

"Steve was only against the Accords for Bucky" WRONG. 1) Before he was certain that Bucky was being framed, he says that he has the best chance of bringing him in to minimize damage. Then, when he was certain Bucky was innocent, it became a matter of not letting his bestie be falsely imprisoned and/or killed on the spot. 2) Lemme just add that yes, Bucky is extremely important to Steve, but Steve would have still been against the Accords if Bucky wasn't a factor. I need people to understand this. It wasn't just a "oh no I need to save my best friend". 3) If you read what was in the Accords, you'd understand why Steve would generally be against them. They're abhorrent.

"Steve didn't read the Accords/Steve didn't even attempt to communicate or compromise." I haaaaattttteeee this one with a burning passion. Did we watch the same movie? He's quite literally the only one on screen we see even look at that long ass document. Probably also the only one would could even manage to read the thing since it was sprung up on them 3 days before the meeting (which is a whole 'nother issue for later. For now, I'll just say I support the Ross conspiracy theory). He also tried to tell Tony & Co. before the airport fight that Zemo was the one behind all this conflict, that Bucky is innocent and about the 5 other ultra-dangerous super-soldiers who, as far as he knew, were about to be unleashed onto the world which would be disastrous. Unfortunately, Team IM was wracked with tension and didn't listen and attacked.

"Steve and Bucky jumped Tony (+ variants of this statement)." This is one that confused me so much. Such a bullshit take. I am begging people to rewatch CW and watch the fight. Tony, whose emotions is dialed to a thousand (and not only because of the Bucky thing mind you, but I can talk about that a lot more later because I like talking about Tony's emotional/mental state during Civil War) attacked first, then tries to kill Bucky, Steve tries to get Tony to stop killing Bucky, Tony is trying not to kill Steve, Bucky is trying to get Tony not to kill Steve or him. It's a mess. Mind you, Steve isn't even trying to excessively harm Tony in this scene. It's confirmed that during the entire fight, he was trying to disable the suit. Not trying to beat Tony to a pulp - DISABLE. THE. SUIT. Which he manage to do in the midst of that shitshow.

"*insert any anti-CW Wanda take*" Please, someone please tell me why people think Wanda has any blame for what happened Lagos? Wanda quite literally didn't CAUSE that. I need to understand this point of view before I get an aneurysm. She didn't make the bomb, bring the bomb, set the bomb off. It was Rumlow who had that bomb that would have ended up killing way more people on the ground than where Wanda managed to put it. She absolutely was as much of a hero as she could be in that instance, trying to redirect the bomb away from civilians. Unfortunately, it still ended it casualties, but a lot less than it would have been if Wanda hadn't intervened.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. Fanon CACW quite literally has some of the worst fan comprehension I've seen in the MCU. I imagine that a lot of it is not understanding characters, the movie not elaborating on important plot points in an effort to make it 50/50 (which they failed at lol), and the fandom being a lot more conservative than I thought. I can expand further on anything if you want!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

SPOILERS FOR NEW MARVEL STUFF! ⚠️

Finally got around to watching The Marvels on Disney +!!!!! It’s the best mcu film this phase istg omg it’s SO GOOD and immediately you can tell it was written by a woman NOT TO MWNTION THE INSANE END CREDIT SCENES WTFFFFF KATE BISHOP PIZZA THE DOG AND XMEN?!?!??!!!!!!! Omg I’m ecstatic this is the best marvel film in years it’s finally giving avengers early phase vibes! And I’m actually happy with every single plot moment! Unlike no way home where there were many questionable plot moments and bad scenes and bad cgi and multiverse of madness was something different entirely like I loved the horror and stuff and it made sense but as a whole that works with the rest of the marvel universe I didn’t like how it went and wandas “death” or “fake death” and the whole x men stuff. Loved America in that tho! Her whole moment made sense and ugh I can’t explain it properly plus the shitshow that was the She Hulk series and overall it just made me lose faith in marvel and that’s why I didn’t see The marvels in cinema like I usually do bc guardians of the galaxy 3 was so shite and I thought this would too maybe that’s why it flopped cuz the hype on past films wasn’t lived up to. But this FINALLY brings back early marvel vibes and I’m so into it. (Plus the reign of the cats 🐈‍⬛ 🐈😆)

Cuz as much as I liked NWH there were questionable parts yk, Dr Strange characterised Wanda badly from start to finish and didn’t do her justice, Wakanda Forever was amazing don’t get me wrong I really loved it and cried A LOT, but I wasn’t too keen on the whole Namor thing or unnecessary deaths, and some characters really just deserved better than what they got, like Okoye.. and Black Widow was great but it could’ve been a bit better with cgi and plot-wise like the deleted scenes should’ve been kept and so on.

For the first time I just really enjoyed every part of this film, since marvel has gone downhill lately, this is new for me. also I loved the queer undertones for Kamala and Carol, although they should’ve been braver and put it in explicitly if they wanted to show Carol and Valkyrie together instead of the kiss on the cheek and no talk of them being together. But headed in the right direction for sure and not to mention the Kate and Kamala scene? Female avengers team? Finally not outnumbered by men? Also I really ship Kate and Yelena so I hope she comes onto the team too, though she might just stick with the Thunderbolts antihero theme. I love that it’s so clearly written by women and directed by them plus the brilliant casting and having the villain also be a woman and with a realistic villainisation like I get why she turned out the way she did, she just wanted her home back for her people, also it’s Zawe Ashton, Tom Hiddlestons wife so it would be cool to see them act together perhaps, but either way brilliant casting and script and everything, I love Kamala really speaking for the fans in a lot of it, and the musical scene was fun in a mystical way, like when we first got introduced to Asgard way back when, I just wish we saw what happened there at least a small look in at the end with Carol checking in on them because they left in the middle of a battle and then we don’t find out what happened to that planet. But other than that small detail the film was fantastic and I loved how even Goose got a good storyline.

(My dreamteam avengers would be Bucky🦾, Yelena🕷️, Kate🏹, Carol💫, Kamala👊, Monica🌠, Shuri🐾, Riri 🛠️(ironheart), America⭐️ and Cassie 🐜 and Morgan Stark. Plus some xmen if that’s now an option?? And AOS team but marvel would never do that

Maybe Peter🕸️ Sean⭕️, Wanda and Moon Knight🌙🤺 boys too but idk )

Our Flag Means Death vs. The Magicians

I was not sure whether I should even write something, but the closer the season 2 finale and, hopefully, a 3rd season of OFMD comes, the more nervous I get. So it's gotta come out.

Thing is, I trust David Jenkins. Or, more accurately, I want to trust David Jenkins.

But 4 years and *checks watch* 6 months ago I also trusted the showrunners of "The Magicians".

Because they, too, responded thoughtful and kindly on Twitter to their fandom's worries. They assured us they were aware of how important queer representation was, and that they would handle their show's queer pairing of two main (!) characters with the utmost respect and sensitivity. They said they knew how badly queer people were treated on the media and they did not want to do that in their show. They had done their research, they carefully listened to their fans, and they were different.

A lot of fans were NOT convinced by that and maintained that it would still turn out to be queerbaiting. We others, we trusted. They obviously knew what they were doing!

For those of you who were not around here back then or simply not in the fandom, and who have no idea what I am talking about, let me try to summarise the shitshow what happened.

"The Magicians" was a very original, weird, entertaining and, for 3 seasons and 12 episodes, good urban fantasy show about a group of young, well, magicians. It was based on a book series of the same name by Lev Grossmann.

The main character, Quentin, was canonically struggling with clinical depression. At the beginning of the show he had admitted himself to a mental health clinic, and he was on medication, and his illness was treated as a part of his character throughout the show. And they received a lot of praise for their sensitive, realistic representation of people with depression and their continuing struggle.

Around Quentin there was an ensemble of other main characters. His (male) best friend (Eliot) was gay and played by a gay actor.

Season 1 ended with a drunken decision from Quentin, Eliot and Eliot's (female) best friend (Margot) to have a threesome; which basically ended Quentin's het-relationship (with Alice) that had developed during the season. This was the first indication that the depressed main character Quentin might also be bisexual.

In season 3 there came a mind-blowing episode where Quentin & Eliot spend the entire rest of their lives living together in a cabin in the woods and raising a son, in what turned out to be an alternative timeline. Basically, in order to solve a plot-arc relevant puzzle, they move to the cabin where the puzzle was set, not knowing how long it would take. After a few months together Quentin initiates an affair with Eliot. A little bit later a woman, with whom Quentin then has a child, moves in; a couple of years later she dies, Quentin & Eliot raise the kid together, and when Eliot, the older one, finally dies of old age, leaving Quentin alone behind, the puzzle named "The Beauty of all Life" is finally solved, the timeline reset, and young Quentin & Eliot in the past receive the solution of the puzzle together with the memories of their life together in the other timeline.

It was a beautiful, beautiful episode. Heartbreaking and life-affirming and queer and just wonderful. It also established beyond a doubt that the depressed main character Quentin was definitely bisexual (and polyamorous).

Then, for the whole 4th season, Eliot was separated from the rest of the group and in great danger, while Quentin and the others tried to find and save him. And when Eliot had to do some soul searching, he remembered something the audience never saw from that one season 3 episode, they added a brand new scene: after they both had been stunned into silence by having the memories of a whole other life dropped onto them, just where the original episode had ended, Quentin had actually asked Eliot if they should "just try it", because "who gets proof of concept like that"? And Eliot, scared of the gravity of it and full of abandonment issues, had shot him down. Present Eliot decides then, if he ever sees Quentin again, to stop being scared and just go for a relationship with him.

(On the other side of the plot, Quentin gets more and more desperate and frantic, trying to find Eliot and save his life. He is clearly masking a steadily worsening spiral into a severe mental health crisis.)

It's queerbaiting, said the nay-sayers and skeptics. It will never happen. At the end of season 4, Quentin will get back together with his ex-girlfriend Alice, they're End Game, and Eliot will end up dead alone at the sidelines, undergoing character development through loss, as a gay character should. /s

They thought we were naive, but we thought they weren't paying attention. Two (2!) episodes in two (2!) seasons with the sole purpose to set Queliot up as a couple, in canon. This wasn't subtext, it wasn't queer-coding; it was text, it was spoken aloud, it was named, it was shown. Why would they do that if nothing else would come of it? Also, they had promised us. The gay actor who played Eliot repeatedly stated how proud he was to be on a show where this was happening, he was just as excited as us, he was one of us.

Then the season 4 finale came, and it wasn't exactly queerbait.

It was much, much worse.

I was on Tumblr right after the finale aired, and it was eerie. No episode reactions, no gif-sets, no comments or shitposts or anything. Even the nay-sayers and skeptics couldn't bring themselves to utter the well-deserved "told you so"s to break the stunned silence. All that was missing from the scene were actual tumbleweeds blowing across our dashboards.

Even from the actors of the show who were on twitter, usually very active and involved, came only radio silence. The last tweet for a while came the day before the finale aired. It was a tweet from the POC actor of an unrelated character, who had spend the last season supporting queer fans and assuaging our fears that something bad might happen to Queliot. And this tweet from him simply stated that he had just found out he had filmed a fake finale scene, one that was never intended to be aired, and that it had served its purpose: he had no idea how the season would actually end.*

And here is how it did end: with the clinically depressed and queer main character blowing himself up in order to permanently ban that season's big bad. He had saved Eliot before that, but he didn't get a chance to talk to him, instead he did get a final scene straight out of the suicidal ideation fantasy handbook: after he killed himself, he witnessed his friends, unseen by them, grieving for him and acknowledging how his sacrifice had made all of their lives better in various ways. And no, I'm not making this up.

And it wasn't even the end of the showrunners stupidity, because in an utter display of tone-deafness, they were taking to Twitter celebrating themselves for the progressive (!!!) decision to kill off their White Male Main Character™, to focus more on the POC characters in the show. And, of course, the recently introduced cis-het male white dudebro character, who had started as a guest but somehow kept getting more and more screentime lately.

They had pulled a Bury Your Gays, but With A Vengeance. In only 10 minutes of screentime they had completely destroyed everything that had made their show critically acclaimed, retroactively un-deserving all the praise and recognition they had gotten for good representation of mental illness and the courage to introduce a canon queer relationship between their established main characters.

And they didn't even get it. They honestly expected praise for their "woke" decision to kill of their White Male Main Character™ (they kept repeating it like a mantra), and they reacted like children when they were instead confronted with an epic shitstorm from upset and angry queer and mentally ill fans.**

In hindsight we realised that what had fooled us was them just parroting the right words and phrases back at us. They had no idea what queerbaiting was. They had even less of an idea what a Bury Your Gays was. They didn't know what we meant when we said that queer representation was so important, and that we were worried if they would do it right; and they didn't understand that they themselves were lying when they answered that they would handle the queer representation in their show with care and respect, because they didn't understand what care and respect in relation to queer representation even was. They didn't even realise that his depression alone, and even more so combined with his absolute lack of toxic masculinity, separated Quentin from the usual White Male Main Character Trope they somehow so desperately wanted to fight - and for some reason they didn't even seem to have realised that they (accidentally?) written him as bisexual? (I am still not too clear on how that even could happen.)

And that's where my worry for "Our Flag Means Death" and David Jenkins comes in. Yes, he was publicly flabbergasted when he learned about queerbaiting and how deeply it had traumatized queer fans and destroyed our trust. He publicly noticed, he publicly cared.

But does he really understand?

Even if he knows and understands queerbaiting (now), does he also know what a Bury Your Gays is? Does he understand?

The historical Edward "Blackbeard" Teach died November 1718. The historical Stede "Gentlemen Pirate" Bonnet died a month later, December 1718. That's at the very most less than a year from when our favourite gay pirate couple is now. And yes, David Jenkins makes it a point to screw with history, he does what he wants no matter what. But their death dates are pretty huge. A fixed point in time, if you will.

I want to believe that all the faking of deaths talk is indeed foreshadowing, that they will be officially dead to history, but actually have run off together to open Jeff's Inn by the Sea, with a Bar & Grill and Other Delicacies & Delights, Snake Snackery, Gift Shop and Fishing Gear in the back. That we will get our Happy Ending. That they will get their Happy Ending. No Bury Your Gays. Everyone lives, just this once, everyone lives.

But what if it is a red herring instead of foreshadowing? What if it is supposed to make their eventual deaths even more heartbreaking and tragic? WHAT IF DAVID JENKINS DOESN'T ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT BURY YOUR GAYS? What if he says he does, what if he believes he does, but what if he doesn't actually understand?

What if he just says what he believes we want to hear, without really understanding the reason?

For me personally, that's not even the worst of it.

When "The Magicians" season 4 aired, I had just gone through the worst depressive episode of my life. It was actually the reason I hyper-fixated so strongly on the show and why I had repeatedly binge-watched the first three seasons in a span of only 3 weeks. It was the reason I obsessed over Quentin, the character who was in a place that I was in just months before, I place I had lost and felt I would never reach again, a place that gradually and painfully I did reach again by the end of those weeks. When I had caught up with season 4 and the finale aired, I was actually a lot better. But even then, Quentin's death and the way he died hurt me, confused me, triggered me, set me back. Talking to other fans with the same problems helped. Removing myself from the fandom and not looking at anything Magician's-related for near-on two years helped also.

And I was in luck. Only one month later "Good Omens" was released. I had liked the book, I had looked forward to its adaption, but I was completely unprepared for what Neil Gaiman had done with it. It healed me, it fully filled the void "The Magicians" and Queliot had left inside me, and it made everything better.

In "Our Flag Means Death", Stede is clearly on the autism spectrum. I was bullied at school, just like him, not for being queer, but for "being a fucking weirdo". Because I have ADHD, like Ed. Unlike Ed I don't have the hyperactive kind, but the inattentive kind. I can never tell if someone is sarcastic or sincere. I also have difficulty with and anxiety in social situations, and I have almost never felt accepted by my peers or my family. I am permanently masking. I relate deeply to Stede's belief that he has to change in order to be worthy of love. I also related deeply to Ed's mental health spiral and suicidal ideation in the beginning of season 2. I obsessed for days over the moment when Ed decided to finally let go, only to be saved in the very last moment by love. It felt way too real, way too familiar, and it was so important for me and my state of mind that it ended in hope. They managed to take the trauma and make it cathartic. So even if my genderfluid ass didn't relate better to mlm relationships than to any cishet relationship, relating a whole lot to Stede and only a little less to Ed because of their neurodivergent traits will be enough for their deaths to destroy me. Just like Quentin's death almost had. And I don't even know if there will be a "Good Omens 3" to stop my fall only a month later.

*= with the exception of the actor leaving the show, none of the actors on "The Magicians" knew. They had all been given fake scenes to film. They didn't even know their colleague was leaving them until the day the finale aired.

**= when I had finally distanced myself enough from the show emotionally and wondered if I should maybe watch season 5, it was included in my Prime subscription anyway, I was told not to, because a) apparently the showrunners had written it as a giant FUCK YOU to everyone who was upset by the season 4 finale, and b) because they had done all the characters dirty, but especially fan-favourite (and mine) Eliot, apparently he fared even worse in season 5 than in season 4. But I am glad to be able to at least inform you that season 5 pretty much tanked both critically as well as in viewership, I have never seen a show go from successful and popular to irrelevant and hated so quickly and so completely.

Elden Ring just beat me...and it's a bummer because I REALLY wanted to like this game. It has all the ingredients to make up a killer game. An open world with crazy art direction. Plenty of challenging options to keep you playing. But what went wrong? Why do I hate this game so much? I'm getting angry just trying to think about it, so let's try to make this quick...

In a nutshell: The setting seems to involve a fantasy setting where you are a fallen soldier. Getting involved in a brief skirmish with a giant spider demon. Then waking up in some sort of medeval hellish landscape with giant gold trees? There seems to be a detailed backstory written by George RR Martin (Game of Thrones). Although I wouldn't know because I'm too busy getting gangraped by skeleton warriors every step of the way to take notice. It's a "souls" game. So these games are annoying by design. But the broken game mechanics and tedious grinding make this game unplayable. Let me break it down like this...

The Good: The graphics are visually stunning, let's be honest. The environments and character designs are insane! Every enemy you encounter is menacing and emit pure nightmare fuel. Which is exciting to say the least. Elden Ring offers one of the best character creators in modern gaming. You can get really detailed adjusting the most minor facial features. Multiple character disciplines that greatly affect your gameplay experience. Diverse skin and body types. You can be really creative, which I adore! And then you put on some in-game armor that covers up the details you spent hours building. Cool! But let's appreciate the good elements because there's a whole lot of bad. Where do I begin...

The Bad: My first attempt playing this, I noticed these glowing rocks scattered around the floor. Apparently they were messages from other players across the Playstation network. Messages like "hidden treasure behind boulder" was pretty neat and helpful. But then you see more and more of these glowing messages. With a lot of not-so-useful messages like "is this dog?" and "finger in ur but". But what crossed the line was "boss up ahead" and you know what? There was a fucking boss ahead! What kind of troll shit allows spoilers mid-game? Can you imagine playing Resident Evil. Right before opening the door of that iconic dog chase scene, you read a community message saying "bow wow ahead lol" Like, way to ruin the immersion asshole! At that moment, I hated the game and pretty much gave up. But after discovering you can disable online messages, I tried it again. Which made a huge difference. I was starting to enjoy the game at first. But once you leave that cave, it was a pure shitshow from there. But let's start with the name "Elden Ring". This would imply upon a grandiose adventure involving a magical ring of some sort. But I would have appreciated it more if they were honest and called the game "YOU DIED" Because that's pretty much what you experience throughout the entire game. Every enemy you encounter was a pain in the ass with little relief in between. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining about the challenge level. I appreciate a good challenging game. I hate to compare, but you have hard ass games like Cuphead, Doom Eternal and Battle Toads that are fantastic, despite their difficulty. There's a balance to their difficulty. Plus their controls are tight and responsive. But when you have to try and maneuver through shitty mechanics, you're not playing a fair game. I recall one instance where I was running around a stone wall to avoid an enemy. But I can't explain why the enemy's spear could clip through this stone wall for a one-shot kill? And what good is perfecting the timing of a defensive parry if a giant boss can just one-hit stomp you like a cockroach? And you get paid in turds so the risk/reward balance is off. I'd rather work a sweatshop, hand-sewing Lulu Lemon leggings than to grind hours for one stamina point. At least you'll get paid at the sweatshop. But if you play Elden Ring long enough, and memorize the patterns and "git gud" you'll eventually beat one of the bosses and get a weapon you can't use, because your charisma stats or whatever is too low. LOL! This game blows.

Overall: Video Games are supposed to be fun. But Elden Ring was a burden to get through. It felt like work after a while. Like an abusive unpaid intership in hell. You can hire a dominatrix if you enjoy the abuse. It won't take up as much of your time and it's better support for your local economy. LOL! Fuck Elden Ring.

(Edited: Just remembered more things I hated about this game, but adjusted the score to something more reasonable. This game is obviously not shit and had me hooked for a while. It just wasn't fun for me. Plus it's not cool to shit on a particular fanbase. Play whatever you want. Don't let my opinion take a shit on your cereal. This is just a place to vent since it would be super weird to scream about Elden Ring out in the real world, with real life problems. But the game still sucks in my point of view so whatever. LOL!)

D-Class

MARRIAGE/ WEDDING BYLER HCS!!!!!

ok hot take, will 10000% proposes first

mike is upset cuz he thinks its not “manly” for him not to be the one to propose :(

will is very comforting ofc cuz he’s will <3

omg and they are both total bridezillas, the entire party is so over it

they cant decide who will be in whos wedding party, so they literally put everyones name in a hat and they pick

mike’s groomsmen have blue ties, wills groomsmen have yellow ties, MIKE AND WILL WEAR GREEN TIES

FLOWER GIRL ELEVEN!!!

hopper walks will down the aisle, nancy does the same for mike

DUSTIN IS BEST MAN FOR MIKE AND STEVE IS BEST MAN FOR WILL

(both bachelor party’s end up being total shitshow, mike and will go home early and watch a movie)

after the wedding mike and will are too tired to go and party or whatever, so they fall asleep cuddling on the couch

ROBIN IS THE LIFE OF THE PARTY AT THE RECEPTION

platonic stobin organizes the after party

steve: “dustin u cant here drink ur a minor, stop” dustin: “im 24”

jopper, jonathan, nancy, max, and lucas give speeches that bring everyone to TEARS

murray crashes, but nobody complains

SAME WITH ARGYLE LMFAO

the cake is a chocolate vanilla marble :)

will gets very overwhelmed during the reception, and he and mike go for a walk outside to calm down

they can hear the music from the parking lot, where they share a slow dance :’)

its a spring wedding!!!!!

hopper has the entire police department ready to fight any homophobia in a 10 mile radius

joyce insists on dancing with will, its sweet but will is MORTIFIED (its basically the s2 snowball preparation scene)

mike insists on the dumbest fucking music playing during the reception, max has to BEG him to let her take over the playlist

the rings are very simple- wills is gold, mikes is silver

LUCAS IS RING-BEARER SORRY

their vows are BEAUTIFUL

will puts his heart and soul into his, he practices for HOURS and ends up saying them perfectly

mike is the exact opposite, he also put all he had into his, but he was so emotional that it just came out as a stuttering, slurred, mess

will was scared mike didnt care as much about the wedding or the vows, and he was dead wrong

MIKE AND WILL ARE STRAIGHT UP SOBBING THE ENTIRE CEREMONY

joyce and jonathan cry so much because will is finally happy :))

mike byers. mike byers. mike byers.

mike was scared to ask will if he could have his last name, because he thought will would find it “less manly” of mike

but will breaks down SOBBING because this man who he loves to the end of the earth wants to be his, and share his name

but this is ofc followed with many “are sure”s and “you dont have to”s

to which mike responds every time “but i WANT to”

thats all i have!!! PLEASE send more requests in the asks, i will 100% do them :)))

I mean to be fair, the entire scene with Oodle and Pear at the beginning of Fartists both had good and bad points on Pear's side.

(essay under the cut)

The beginning of the major conflict starts in AIB 4, but to me, it starts in the 3rd episode. Pear is, in the best definition: an observer. He's done nothing to truly participate in the competition itself (which is itself a flaw, considering that practically drops Team 5 from 10 members to 9) and sometimes is a detriment to the team's success, like in AIB 2 and 3. Nonetheless, his lack of care towards the competition itself makes him a neutral party. And a neutral party looking on the absolute shitshow that was AIB 3's fight would probably immediately think "whoa! what the fuck! y'all need to calm down! this competition is tearing you all apart!"

And that's exactly what Pear thought.

It's interesting how the only characters that don't hate Pitchfork by the end of the episode are the ones that weren't there (Antimatter and Chip Bag) and... Pear. That isn't to say that Pear's motives are truly good at heart, after all everyone being serious is making it harder for him to relax and laze around. But his perspective seems to be at least of good nature, seeing that Oodle's challenges are driving people up the wall and instead of shifting any of the blame onto any one of his team members, blaming Oodle for the challenges in the first place.

But does Oodle really deserve that blame?

Oodle is trying his best- you can't really say that he isn't. Unlike a majority of hosts in object shows that are either apathetic, neutral, or even condescending to the contestants themselves, Oodle is cheerful, upbeat, and kind! His main motivation seemingly is to have fun, the reason he built the entire competition in the first place, but his cheerful and optimistic persona isn't without flaws- mainly that he tends to be overly forgetful and make oversights. (omg, he just like me fr)

Many of his oversights seem to be about the contestants themselves as well, and despite his efforts to help them get along, it's obvious that he doesn't seem to consider whether or not anyone might have protests with his competition, simply because well, he's having fun! He's putting this all together for them! Which, is understandable considering he's never really had friends before, so navigating through something like that would be completely foreign to him. He's vulnerable and he makes mistakes, but he genuinely does care about his contestants. Whether or not he truly is to blame for the Team 5 fight is really up to speculation- would they have gotten into an argument had the stakes not been so competitive? Considering how Pitchfork seems to immediately regret her actions after getting overwhelmed by anger- probably not!

That leads us finally to AIB 4.

Pear does not care about the competition. He doesn't bother to show up to his own team's elimination, even though he's up for elimination himself (being the final 2 as well). Oodle himself, the person that he's been blaming the entire team fallout on shows up personally to bring him to elimination, and this is the only time that Pear starts to genuinely care about what's going on. Oodle isn't busy zipping around the Blank Slate right now, so Pear can properly express his frustrations with the entire competition.

One of the flaws about Pear that tends to take away from his entire statement about the competition is how he intersperses genuine, understandable criticism with personal attacks on Oodle and what he's striving to accomplish. This wasn't needed in order to express how the competition was tearing people apart, but it gives us a look into Pear's character and how he views Oodle. Pear doesn't like Oodle at all, and his opinion on him has seemingly gotten worse after the big Team 5 blowout.

Pear has a point here! Oodle has sort of assumed that everyone would go along and agree with whatever competition that he has in mind, and especially with the lengths that he went to for the third challenge, I doubt that anyone would consent to having their limbs snatched and placed inside of a dumpster for a temporary amount of time. Although Oodle does seem to try to rectify this in future challenges (wanting the next challenge to be more low-key and not really having a choice on the fifth challenge), Pear's criticisms are more or less justified considering how he feels.

The thing is, although Pear is mainly incorrect, there's no way of him knowing that's not what everyone thinks. The only thing that he's been focusing on here is himself and the rest of his team. Even if everyone else in other teams is more-or-less alright, his entire team was tearing at the seams last challenge. Pitchfork is probably miserable, Chip Bag seemed to agree with him before getting pulled away by Creamy (which- the rest of Team 5 is something I could write another essay about), and he's not having fun. In a way, he's kind of acting like Oodle is, but instead of focusing too much on the broad scale, Pear is focusing too little on it.

Both Creamy and Pear have points in this situation. None of them really had lives before this game, so for many of them even with the fights, it's still a better situation than when they started! But, to be fair, Creamy is part of the group that won the argument against one singular person. Pear is still seeing this as more of an observer's outlook, seeing both sides of what exactly happened. It would make more sense that Creamy has a more positive view of this competition than Pear does. Does this mean Pear's outlook isn't self-serving? Nope! One of the reasons that he's so upset about this is because he didn't want this, so he assumes that no-one else does either. However, with what he's been able to see, it makes sense that he'd believe the others would at least agree somewhat with him.

The thing is, something that Pear fails to recognize is that Oodle is not malicious. Oodle starts to try and reason with Pear at the beginning, now more aware of his mistakes, but Pear refuses to let him finish his sentence. He doesn't want to hear any excuses, instead continuing to personally berate Oodle for everything that's happened. Many of Pear's points seem to be more of what Pear thinks himself, projected onto his team and the rest of his contestants, believing that he feels the same way as everyone else. This repeats itself a lot, with Pear believing himself that he's trying to help the rest of his team. That he's "standing up" against what's causing these problems in the first place. Although his points are understandable, he takes it too far in a direction that's more about personally attacking Oodle. But, he's stressed out! They're all stressed out! He has a reason to be upset, but he ends up taking it too far.

And Pear's confrontation and subsequent elimination both has good and negative consequences on the competition itself.

Oodle is clearly shaken up by that entire experience, not just from Pear's insults but from the subsequent effects it had. Team 5 is clearly upset at him now, but Oodle seems to be doing his best to try and make the competition more enjoyable for everyone involved, choosing a challenge that's a lot more low-key and chill, painting and drawing!

It's a breather, a more relaxing challenge compared to the stressful circumstances of the last episode. Despite his flaws, Oodle is genuinely trying his best in order to make the game a more pleasant experience for everyone involved, and Pear's argument may have made him realize that he should take more precautions. (This was written before episode 6, so this is mainly speculation) He even made the challenge's reward a fun pizza party!

Although, now without Pear, there's even more vitriol against Pitchfork by the rest of her team...

(If you can't tell I really like Pitchfork)

Hey! On your poll I was going back and forth between yes and secret third thing BECAUSE I do think Izzy displays homophobia in the show. However, I interpret the incident you referred to as mostly misogyny i.e. that "real men don't show feelings." I think the derogatory words and actions towards Lucius and Stede are way more homophobic, but they're connected for sure.

I think the emphasis on boyfriend is making fun of him for being emotional that a man he loves isn't there and he wanted to remind him that (to Ed's understanding) Stede didn't care enough.

Tldr - izzy is homophobic for reasons outside of this scene, but his gorilla grip on societal standards of men bleed into his view of queer men, especially those who aren't "masc" enough for him

anon my beloved i must apologize in advance bc i had a very weird and emotionally draining day today and i am very tired right now. so i don’t know that this is going to be coherent. but also i like this ask and i want to say words about it before that poll expires tomorrow so i’m just gonna slap some shit together here and hope it makes sense

so first thing’s first, i definitely agree that izzy does homophobia all over the show. the reason i picked out this scene and that line specifically is because imo “pining for his boyfriend” literally sounds like a dumb middle school boy bullying his classmates on the playground. which is to say that it sounds like the most simple-minded homophobic taunt in the world. like i always think abt this scene in the last season of the magnus archives when the main character and his boyfriend roll up to some dumb meathead bully type who goes “who’s this, your boyfriend?” and the whole fandom was like “wow i can’t believe this guy is homophobic.” bc even if the bully is literally correct and the guy is actually his boyfriend, saying “boyfriend” in that tone is saying “boyfriend” like it’s an insult. which, clearly, is homophobic.

so yeah mocking ed for the pining bit is kinda more on the “boys don’t cry” misogyny side of things like you said, but the way izzy tilts his head and draws out the first vowel in “booooyfriend” to me reads like the single most straightforward and undeniable instance of izzy being homophobic in the entire show. bc even if (and this is a big if) izzy doesn’t actually care abt ed having a boyfriend and is just trying to goad ed into being blackbeard again bc izzy needs blackbeard to feel safe, the way izzy is choosing to go about bullying ed into being blackbeard again is through grade school level homophobic taunting.

however you are not wrong that there is also misogyny going on in that scene. and that is because these things are all so deeply intertwined it’s impossible to say where one ends and where the other begins. and this is where i don’t think i’m going to be able to maintain coherency lol but i’m gonna do my best!!!

like the thing with homophobia is that at it’s core, it’s about men not doing gender right. bc gender roles in western society are a fucking shitshow and the expectations for how men and women are supposed to behave extend into every facet of people’s lives. like we all know the basic “boys don’t cry, women are caretakers, men are tough and macho, women are soft, men are hard, etc etc” stuff. but one of the biggest areas where society has strict expectations of how men and women should behave is about sexuality.

men are expected to be attracted to women, obviously. but also men are often expected to be overtly sexual. having a high sex drive is tied to many guys’s concept of their own masculinity and their sense of personal identity. like this should feel like common knowledge right, the idea that some guys build their identity around “getting bitches” or whatever?

(the societal expectations for women and sexuality are a whole other shitshow that people have written entire essays and articles and books on, but im not gonna get into that here bc we’re talking abt ofmd, and this show is focusing on challenging society’s ideas about what it means to be a man)

the other thing with gender roles, and with male gender roles specifically. is that of the two genders that western society has expectations for, manhood is seen as superior. so when a guy is unable to perform masculinity to society’s standards, he is seen as less than a man. and what’s less than a man?

a woman.

men who fail to adhere to a certain expectation of masculinity are insulted by being likened to women. it’s why guys will literally say “don’t be such a girl about it” when another guy gets emotional about something. hell, it happens to stede in the show!! calico jack calls him “the big gal,” the british describe him as “a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown.” stede is someone whose gender presentation does not match what is expected of him At All, from his clothes to his crying to his picking flowers to just his mannerisms and how he is. and stede has faced constant ridicule because of this.

so like. it all gets real tangled together. and a lot of the time it’s hard to say which is “more” present, homophobia or misogyny. insulting a man by calling him gay, insulting a man by comparing him to a woman, those things go hand in hand. having a gorilla grip worldview on how men “should” behave leads people to policing how men, both cishet and queer, perform gender and experience attraction.

so like, izzy’s general vibe of not caring if ed has gay sex, but absolutely caring if ed bottoms during that sex and caring if ed actually falls in love and cares about a man? that concept of masculinity, which calico jack is also shown to adhere to? homophobic. just like how his treatment of stede and lucius for being “less masculine” is homophobic.

Random WayuHello thoughts (because it's his name now. I guess...)

This show is unhinged and there's a reason these two are top of the cast list on mdl. This couple has the only fully completed arc in this show.

The translation is really something else. This should be studied. I will have to write about this when I have the time - like, why did they suddenly decide to call him Hello? lmao.

Are you telling me that all this time they still haven't had sex? They were ALL OVER EACH OTHER and it's the first time he's going for the dick?!

And this?

This is THE BEST line EVER! Honestly, the entire show is worth this scene alone.

Going back to the translation, if I got it correctly, he's actually asking him - Do you remember that you asked me? And NOT - Do you remember who asked you that?

The question was - What does it mean to Grasp desire?

To which Wayu answers with a grasp of Hello's desire! (Yes, I am committed to Hello's name now)

Then, the only possible conclusion - sex makes you a better actor. That fight scene was so sexually charged, even poor Park couldn't handle it. These two have some kink in them for sure.

Wayu is the best boyfriend and I will fight anyone who says different.

They better be getting their own show after this.

Tagging the only people I know watched this magnificent shitshow (affectionately) @nerdybunnydestiny , @heretherebedork , @respectthepetty

hiii r&m anon here again!!! i noticed you mentioned liking season 7, so i was wondering if you had any favorite or least favourite episodes, plotlines, all that jazz. season 7 debrief, if you will. would love to hear your thoughts!

ram anon gracing my inbox once again (always a pleasure)

huge rant below the cut (talking about rick and morty triggers the longwinded newspaper art critic in me sorry)

s7e2 and e4 were the best episodes in my opinion. absurd, darkly funny, overall just so perfect. i was especially excited about s7e2 since the rick/jerry dynamic has intrigued me since episode s3e5. i love that that episode basically just confirmed Rick and Jerry may be foils but are also perfect complements? they can only understand / appreciate each other when they are literally existing in each other's flesh? i try not to wax poetic about ram but this episode was tempting meeeee

and re: e4, i think this show's writing is at its best when the writers come up with a stupid concept and treat it seriously. i love that this episode saw the concept of 'what if corpse spaghetti' through to the end. classic dark comedy, absurd, wacky goodness. lovee it

one thing i do hate about this season (as well as seasons 5 and 6) is the number of callbacks to 'old' rick and morty. s7e3 and s7e8 were some of the worst episodes this season, mostly because they just reused old plotlines and developed them in the least interesting ways possible, imo. did the mid gag from s3e5 really need its own episode? it really did not. i think that this is one of the worst consequences of the show becoming less episodic and more serialized - the writers just endlessly milk the early seasons to recycle into plotlines, one-off gags, whatever. the self-referentiality and meta humor of newer seasons will always, always grind my gears severely.

also, s7e7 was almost unwatchable. it reminded me of s6e2 in all the worst ways - just dedicating an entire episode to a SINGLE movie reference, doubling down on the singular reference as the episode drags on. god that episode sucked. so boring, annoying, unfunny.

i have extremely mixed feelings on s7e5. On the one hand, I'm still annoyed that the backstory from s3e1 is even canon, and Rick is yet another entry in the long tradition of flawed male protagonists turned into a nihilistic depressed shitshow by the death of a wife. it's such a pat trope, imo.

HOWEVER, i really like how this episode developed Rick. I'll always be a fan of ruthlessness and revenge plotlines, so im biased. but i've come to appreciate Rick Prime as a villain, as a testament to how much Rick hates himself -- there's a version of himself out there that would torture himself across the universe by killing off his own loved ones, just to try to prove his own superiority? it's all very mindfucky but im super into it. Rick C137 killing Prime with his fists, all while Prime goads him? it was such a cool scene. i love when the show does selfcest

i also still have mixed feelings on the evil morty and his growing prominence in the series. it was nice when he was just a little treat, but it became clear in s4 the writers were aware of fan expectations for the character. i can't help but wonder if that's shaped the way they're writing him, especially giving him the centralized role in the story of possible-future-final-antagonist? that being said i've always liked evil morty, he's a fun character to watch on screen. although i'm extremely cautious of my enjoyment. he's already starting to feel like a fanfic rip-off of himself a little bit (that one line where he said 'well, they don't call me good morty' was so bizarre. evil morty was the fandom name for him, and the writers adopted it and made it a diegetic epithet for the character???????)

s7e10 was refreshing after a long season of Morty getting sidelined. I love how this one starts with a classic rick and morty set-up (what if *weird thing* in *random place*) but turns it into existential horror? really cool. i don't think it was the most subtle way to do morty character development, but it was interesting enough that i was invested. also, rick pinning morty's picture to the pinboard. so good

overall my reaction to this season is 'we're so back.' it was LEAGUES better than s5-6, which i think are like the ram dark ages. i don't think s7 was the best season yet (as some are suggesting) but I think that this season marks a positive turn for the quality of writing in the show.!!

here's my episode ranking in ( i mostly did this for fun)

E2

E5

E4

E10

E6

E1

E3

E9

E7

E8

Basically, e7 and e8 were irredeemably terrible. e9, e3, and e1 were mid/fine. e6, e10, e4, e5, and e2 were all varying degrees of peak rick and morty.

other mics. thoughts:

i felt like there was a lot of long, no dialogue, sad music montages that felt like references to the famous scene from s4e8? the one from s7e4 comes to mind immediately. but there were another few sprinkled in

s7e3 rick telling a scientologist "worship how you want" ??? he would not say that. who let that slide in the writing room?

the fight scenes and gore were all really well animated!! since s3 the animation has only gotten better and i love the gore

i actually love the new VAs. they're different from roiland, obviously, but i honestly think they're both doing a better job. the performances are more naturalistic, and less grating? i thought the change would weird me out, but it's subtle, and i like it

Rick canonically bad at eating pussy in his youth

Round 2 - Side A

Propaganda below ⬇️

Sister Michael

She drives a DeLorean. She does judo on Fridays. She likes a good statue and despises the French. Her full nun name is Sister George Michael, after the guy from Wham!. She is the fiercest nun you’ll ever come across and, if you’re attending Lady Immaculate College, she’s the woman in charge. So whatever you do, if you’re feeling anxious or worried or just need a chat: don’t come crying to her.

joined the nunnery for the free accommodation?

she does love a good statue it has to be said

She is the headmistress of a catholic school <3

Galahad

OKAY SO . “Galahad (played by Jonny d'Ville): a travelling preacher/religious zealot who is told to sit in the Siege Seat by Merlin, and discovers the fact that Fort Galfridian is falling into the star Avalon. He sparks the quest for the GRAIL, and willingly goes to his death to overcome its final defences.” DUDE SAT IN THE CHAIR THAT IS KNOWN FOR KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE HIS CRUSH [MERLIN] [AKA HANGED MAN] [AKA DRUMBOT BRIAN] TOLD HIM TO . SORRY I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY. he found out the whole shitshow of a spacestation he lived on was gonna fall into the sun and he went around yelling about it incomprehensibly and got fucking gunned down trying to get the GRAIL and just kept going through the gunfire because of how Religious [tm] he was . he died . in once and future king it just “galahad’s blind faith” . also hellfire goes really hard . he is the definition of going insane with the knowledge of the universe . also jonny dville played him thats bonus points

There was a prophet. The prophet gave three separate people three separate instructions. 1. Stop being racist 2. Love your son 3. Sit in the Chair That Makes People Insane Galahad received number three. He was the only one who followed the instructions. He sat in the Chair That Makes People Insane, saw the sun for the first time, and immediately starts preaching about how everyone will burn in hellfire

i dont know anything about this guy i just wanna help make Kai happy please dont like not count my submission just because i dont know anythinf except for the Kills You Chair im trying my best im sorry 😭

his themesong is called hellfire and it slaps btw go listen to it. anyways he is my blorbo blingus he is Deeply unwell i could fix him but also whatever is wrong with him is incredibly fascinating to watch. a robot dude who’s been hanging from the gallows since forever told him ‘hey go sit in the Chair That Kills People Who Sit In It’ and he was like 'I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE’. the getting-his-brain-fried thing definitely made him worse but he was also clearly kind of fucked up before that. his death is probably one of my favorite scenes in any mechs album. maybe just straight up my favorite. ahem. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT FAITH, BUT IT CAN HAVE POWERFUL EFFECTS ON THOSE THAT HAVE IT. IT CAN KEEP YOU FROM FALTERING AS THE BULLETS START TO SLAM INTO YOU. IT CAN KEEP YOU WALKING AS YOU LEGS ARE SHOT TO BLOODY STUMPS. IT CAN KEEP YOU LAUGHING AS YOUR LUNGS ARE FILLED WITH SHRAPNEL AND LEAD. IT CAN KEEP YOU SMILING AS HALF YOUR FACE IS BLOWN AWAY. IT CAN KEEP A MAN LIKE GALAHAD STANDING TALL UNTIL THE GUNS. CLICKED. DRY. anyways go listen to high noon over camelot <3

my friends my people my… flock I HAVE HAD A VISION!! A VAST FIERY ORB FLOATIN IN AN ENDLESS VOID!! and there so small so feagile US!!! BUT FALLIN FALLIN FALLIN INTO THE FLAMES!!! your soul is connected to the world youre in youre draggin it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation and y'just give in we’re fallin into the flames OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HEEEEELLLLLLFIIIRE YOUR BROW BECOMES SLICK AS YOU PERSPIRE YOU THINK YOURE THIRSTY NOW WAIT TIL IT GETS DRIER AND YA FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SICK AND SINFUL LIES WILL BUILD A FUNERAL PYRE YOUR PERVERSION SCARS THE STATION SON ITS GONAN FRY HER AND WE ALLLLLL FALL INTO THE FLAMES… oh i have SEEN DAMNATION MY BROTHERS!! ive FELT its searing heat within my VERY BONES !!!!!!! but there is a way me be saved… “OH TELL US FATHER GALAHAD, TELL US” I HEAR YOU CRY “IS IT PIETY IS IT PURITY IS IT VIRTUE?” NO!!! ONLY WAY TO SAVE US NOW IS THE HOLY GRAIL ITSELF… HAHAHAHAHHAAAA…. WELL THAT ORB OF DAMNATION MAKES THE SUN SEEM PALE YOURE QUITE CORRECT TO QUIVER YOU ARE RIGHT TO QUAIL THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE US IS TO FIND THAT GRAIL OR WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SKIN STARTS TO SIZZLE AS YOU EXPIRE YOU CLAIM TO BE VIRTUOUS BUT YOURE A LIAR !!!!! AND YOU FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES … i said HEEEELLLLFIIIIRE HEEEEEEEELLLLFIRE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLFIIIIIREEE HEEEEEEELLLLLLFIIIIIIRE OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE AT THE HEART OF THAT INFERNO THAT WILL NEVER TIRE IVE SEE THE END IS NIGH AND DAMNATIONS NIGHER OH WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES

Ok i know this is kind of a shot in the dark because hes so obscure but i need to speak my truth. Hes so insane. The narrator calls him a “holy roller.” He has a vision which is meant to tell him that the place they live is LITERALLY going to get burnt to a crisp because its slowly falling into the sun. But hes like Oh my god i just had a vision of hell i need to save everyone from eternal damnation. And he happily gets killed and turned into a pile of slop because he believes its what he was “chosen to do” he quite literally dies for his religion. Hes also quite funny. I like him. Thank you

okay, i admit that i went into “love and thunder” a little biased, because i had read the reviews that said it sucked ass, but girl... i didn’t expect it to suck ass this badly. it doesn’t feel like “a movie” so much as it feels like pieces of different movies stitched together in a half-coherent plotline?

the god butcher plotline...works. it works because it’s simple. the character itself has barely nothing in the way of development because he is very one-note, but considering the constant tone-shifts and mismatching vibes, he is the highlight of the whole thing. christian bale sweetie you were NOT paid enough to shave your eyebrows.

100% of the movie (that isn’t the god butcher stuff) is jokes, but... 85% (and i’m being generous) don’t land. almost every moment where it was supposed to be a “joke”, there was dead silence in my session. i heard one guy in the restroom saying that the movie was the second best marvel movie, after endgame, and considering endgame is a shitshow...yeah

the fight scenes are cool, but they are almost entirely cgi. i think all except for one in the omnicity, and even then....eh.

it definitely felt like both a sequel to ragnarok and a taika production, but in the worst ways. it took all the bad bits of ragnarok and made them doubled down on it. also it will be interesting to see their defense of how the russos “undid everything taika did”, when taika also ignored most of his own set ups.

i can see the stans will eat it up though, because valkyrie kissed a “zeuszette”’s hand and the rock monster got gay-married to another rock-monster (he was a dude because he had a moustache!). they did talk about valkyrie’s girlfriend and used the word girlfriend, so i guess that’s a step up!

things i liked:

- the scene where thor makes all the kids little thors

- the final scene with “love” and “thunder”

- the fact that they didn’t censor thor’s ass in the actual theatrical release

- brett goldstein as herkules

things that i didn’t like:

- valkyrie basically plays second fiddle the whole movie

- actually, remember how valkyrie was supposed to be a set up for thor’s love interest? never mind all that! thor has been, still is, and will always be in love with jane! she is, like the fandom wanted, just his lesbian bff!

- i don’t understand why they changed the gender of gorr’s child from boy to girl? it didn’t really add anything to the plot aside from tacking another OC daughter to one of the original avengers. but i guess if they made the kid a girl it would be more “sensitive”?

- i think it’s insane that in the comics, when jane is dying, she lost her hair, lost weight, and is basically a walking skeleton the more she uses mjolnir. in the movie - because women aren’t allowed to be ugly - she has.... bags under her eyes. that’s it. that’s literally it. maybe her cheeks are a little sunken in some scenes. she has stage four cancer, but you would never be able to tell just by looking at her. not even when she was dying she was allowed to be ugly

- the movie keeps the tradition of introducing a villain who is, by all accounts, in the right, never giving any kind of counter argument to them, and then just killing them off anyway. the gods in thor are shown to be petty, if not downright evil; they don’t care about their subjects, and they just use them to feed while the people who worship them suffer. there’s a brief argument that the gods are protecting the people, but that’s never really brought up to, like, try to change the guy’s mind! it was the same deal with thanos. why shouldn’t the god butcher kill off a guy like zeus? also why is an earth god the most powerful god in the universe, anyway?

overall, if this movie had been put in the hands of a director that could commit to give it the gravity it deserves, it would have been AMAZING. that director is not taika waititi. he’s good for comedy, but this was not a movie that worked as a comedy. hell, it barely even worked as a movie. if anyone was the god butcher, it was taika

Nothing gets me into a fiery rage more than thinking about 343 has handled the Halo series after Bungie left it off on such a high note. 1, 2 and 3 were good, ODST and Reach were godlike, and they expanded on the universe quite a few times with books and comics and all that. And then 343 came in and just completely gumbled most of it up. CEA was cool, but basically just kitbashed Reach and upscaled Halo 3 assets together and lost some of the original touch the game had back in 2001.

Halo 4 was, ok? The best part was Cortana's story, going into more depth about rampancy and how it affects AI, especially one that we've known and loved for over a decade at that point. The Forerunners were fucking stupid personally, it's hinted to and LITERALLY SAID IN HALO 3, that humans are forerunners, just after the shitshow that was all the rings firing off. 343 Guilty Spark literally says that Chief is a forerunner, and then they just whipped it around and said "well actually he's a reclaimer because blablabla" ok whatever, they do flesh it out more in expanded works and explain it in Halo 4 so atleast theres that. Del Rio is an asshole to the savior of humanity for no reason. The sudden art style change that makes no sense is stupid, like you could've delayed the change until the Infinity rolled around. The Diadact is just space voldemort turning humanity into NFTs after being on r/nofap for 100,000 years, who then dies pretty unceremoniously to a shit ass grenade in a quick time event.

Halo 5 is.... fucking just Halo 5. The Cortaba story is so bad, why did you bring her back as an antagonist? Why didn't you stick to the marketing that was actually a really cool idea about Chief going rogue and hunting the truth. Where are the Marines? Why do I have to fight the Warden Eternal like 20 times? Better balancing than 4 i guess, but god the plot is just all over the place. And that fight scene with Chief, Chief was abducted as a child and forced into the spartan program and trained to be a cold brutal killer of the UNSC's foes. Without Mjolnir armor he straight up merked 2 ODSTs in hand-to-hand combat. This 7-foot-augmented-out-the-ass man had an equal match in a mass produced Spartan 4? Sure Locke is ONI so he's got some spice to him and he's still a Spartan wearing similar armor to Chief, but come on, you can't tell me a guy who saves humanity for breakfast is on a similar level to Halo Nightfall guy.

Infinite is strange. They basically drop Halo 5's characters for the most part, give Chief new (remastered Mk.6) armor, bring back older models of guns and stuff with a new coat of paint (Reach AR, Battle Rifle, now the DMR) and blow up Cortana and the Infinity within the first like, 30 minutes of the game. Ooooo the Banished except wait after Atriox's not-death they're pretty incompetent and are gettinf roflstomped by Chief and are really only good at killing UNSC off screen. The open world shit was ok, but for Halo i dont think its entirely the best idea to go for whatever Far Cry ass shit they pulled. Bringing back the old designs was really cool and much better than the sterile, clean, sharp edges of 4 and 5. Their armor and weapons looked like brand new toys while Infinite's look more realistic and have a bit more wear and tear to em. But its also missing a ton and just kind of ends off on a weird half note for the story. Like where are they gonna go with this? Idk, its just weird.

343, make more stories without Chief. I know Chief is the figurehead of the franchise, but for god's sake please please please make side stories in the universe. I want to see how humanity recovered after the war, how the different species in the Covenant took the end of the war. Exploring Forerunner sites? Side stories in the human-covenant war with ODSTs and Marines! You could totally make the Harvest campaign into a game! Give us the origin story for Sgt Johnson and how he and others did during the opening months of the conflict! Give us more on the Insurrection! You've done it before, Halo Forward Unto Dawn was actually a really cool movie, why don't you do some more stuff like that??

Idk, I love Halo but 343 gotta step their game up

To the anon asking about the Like a Hinge sequel: I fucked up and accidentally deleted your ask 🙃 So I'm answering it here.

Yes, the sequel is currently in progress! But, no, I don't really have any lines I want to share at this point. My writing process can best be described as a shitshow, and lines/scenes/entire plots often get scrapped quickly and without warning, and so what's there now is likely to not be in the final version, whenever that is finally fit for eyes other than mine.

In lieu of lines, however, please accept this dumb meme I just made about Dick and Tim's dynamic, should I ever get the fic finished: