#the best is either getting toxic Boston
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The only one whose intentions I can't entirely understand is Nick. Like Boston is pretty harmless, he is just a hoe and a shitty friend. Mew is straight-laced and could be devilish, but pretends to be a kind of a saint to get away with things. Top is just a red flag, all around. Ray is broken in a way he himself doesn't understand and (falsely) projects loving Mew will resolve all his hurt. Sand is a walking green flag, at least so far. But Nick, I don't know, I can't tell if he's just starting out as a Machiavellian villain that'll do a double kill on both Boston and Top, or he is just obsessed with Boston to hurt him but keep Boston on a leash.
Anon, I'm gonna skip over you writing that "Boston is pretty harmless" so I can get to your ask - Nick.
In this series, Raymond is my #1, but Nicolas is my strong #2, and it's partially because they remind me of a good ass country song.
Think Brokeback Mountain's Jack Twist screaming his legendary line "I wish I knew how to quit you" because that shit is a good ass country song delivered in one line.
*switching into my west Texas accent*
Yes, I wrote "country song" in a post about Thai gays.
See, I love music. I have a large collection of vinyl records and CDs. I like going to music festivals and concerts. I love rap for its wordplay. I love ranchera for the dramatics ("El Rey" anyone?). And I love country for its storytelling.
So the second Nick called Top instead of Mew, I heard Dolly Parton's iconic "Jolene"
In case you are not familiar with the legend who is "Jolene," the song deals with a woman begging another woman to not take her man. This woman knows she cannot compete with Jolene. She knows she is not as beautiful or alluring, so she begs Jolene to let her man go, in hopes that he'll come back to her.
Hopefully, I won't be hearing Dolly Parton's other masterpiece "I Will Always Love You" (yes, the one that Whitney Houston covered for The Bodyguard).
And I always hear the incredible Patsy Cline's "Crazy" whenever Nick looks at Boston.
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you
Because even though Nick is matching Boston's "No Boundaries" energy, he isn't malicious, not yet anyway. No.
Nick is in love, with a guy who doesn't love him back.
And he knows that.
But knowing doesn't help when it comes to matters of the heart.
Other genres have songs that capture the feeling of losing your mind over someone who doesn't love you and being incapable of stopping, but a good ass country song just really hits at the core of that kind of toxic love.
Like Dan + Shay's "How Not To" which tells the story of a man who knows that his lover is no good, but doesn't know how not to love them.
So I read Nick as a boy in desperate love with the wrong man. He is Rascal Flatts "What Hurts the Most" when the lead singers croons that the worst part of his love was "not seeing that love in you."
And that type of love makes you do crazy shit.
Boston was honest in the beginning that he didn't want anything serious, and even though he has changed his tune when needed, everyone else has warned Nick as well about Boston.
Nick knew who walked into his store the second he looked into Boston's eyes.
Yet he couldn't stop himself from falling in love.
If Oh No! Here Comes Trouble taught me anything, it's that love can be an obsession mostly when grieving love, and Nick has to be grieving the love he knows he will never get from Boston while still loving him.
So this is why Nicolas is my #2. He is a good ass country song about a man who hopes that his love will make his lover stay, only to realize that his love isn't enough and probably never will be.
And before any of you ask, Ray is the drinking side of good country songs, but he and Sand in particular are "Tennessee Whiskey"
I've looked for love in all the same old places
Found the bottom of a bottle's always dry
But when you poured out your heart, I didn't waste it
'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high
You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
You're as sweet as strawberry wine
You're as warm as a glass of brandy
So raise your bottle to Nick's pain.
And slow dance under some hicktown's bar lights.
Because like my girl Bonnie Raitt sang " I will give up this fight 'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't" (yeah, that famous song George Michael covered).
#only friends#nick is a good ass country song#I love country music and Nick#I want the best for him#the best is either getting toxic Boston#or losing the guy he loves#he can't win#and he knows that
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gray’s fic recs
my tagging/recommendation system is a mess beyond the point of fixing, so i made a masterlist. (i’ll slowly be adding fics to this!)
- an asterisk is next to players who play for the ahl team of said nhl team
- if works focused on more than one person, they’re listed under the other people, but only tagged in the first one you see in the list.
- also, apologies if the links don’t work correctly, it is in fact my first time making a masterlist
NHL/AHL
Anaheim Ducks
Jamie Drysdale
hey roomie by @emaanemaa
- trevor and jamie threesome. that's right, that's all it took to get you to go read it.
Trevor Zegras
chameleon by @hischierhaze
- listen- if you're someone who, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, changes themselves and their personality for those around them, or you have a history of it- please read this. I promise you, you won't regret it.
now that we don't talk by @sc0tters
- it's a toxic relationship with trevor, of course I'm gonna eat it up (she might end with trevor... or she might not. you'll never know if you don't read it.)
hey roomie by @ emaanemaa (fic linked above under jamie)
the penalty box series by @starsandhughes
I- if you're not already keeping up with this series... where have you been? every update is laugh out loud hilarious, and leaves you itching for more.
cruel weather- apart of the penalty box series by @starsandhughes
cruel weather gets it's own link because of the amount of emotional damage this inflicted upon me.
Arizona Coyotes
Boston Bruins
Buffalo Sabres
Devon Levi
like it very much by @jackhues
there aren’t many devon fics (which there totally should be), but the way i squealed when i read this one. further affirmed the fact that i think he’d be the best bf.
Calgary Flames
Nikita Zadorov
that scar hurt by the way by @swissboyhisch
- listen…. i’m the farthest thing from a flames fan, and can wholeheartedly admit it was an adorable read.
Carolina Hurricanes
Chicago Blackhawks
Colorado Avalanche
Columbus Blue Jackets
Adam Fantilli
to you, my adamo by @hischierhaze
- it's adam's birthday + his debut, can you blame me for crying?
his return by @hischierhaze
-this made me cry. but in making this, i'm convinced anything kei writes with the fantilli brothers makes me want to cry from either just how sickeningly sweet it is, or of course, sadness.
tiny dancer au by @letsgetrowdy43
god when i say sunny and adam have my heart- i mean it. they’re sososo special to me.
Dallas Stars
Wyatt Johnston
our song by @lovinbarzal
hands down one of my favorite wy jo fics/au’s. it’s wyatt x a barzal sister, a pairing i wouldn’t have thought of, but works so well!
Detroit Red Wings
Edmonton Oilers
Florida Panthers
Matthew Tkachuk
waking up in vegas by @doc-pickles
- matty t x hughes!sister is a dynamic i didn’t know i needed.
Mackie Samoskevich*
perfect girl by @dmercer91
- this had me feeling things like no other... a big hint as to why? she's shared.
Los Angeles Kings
Alex Turcotte*
who does it better? by @harry-hollands
one of the cutest social media au’s in a while (technically has two parts, but they don’t have to be read together)
Minnesota Wild
Montreal Canadiens
Kirby Dach
here with you by @sc0tters
- it's amber's writing + kirby, what's not to love? (if that's not convincing enough, maybe the line, "I will follow you to the ends of the earth," is.)
Nashville Predators
New Jersey Devils
Jack Hughes
timeless by @babydollmarauders
- if I hadn't originally read this in the middle of the grocery store, I can almost guarantee that I would've cried from just how heartwarmingly adorable this is.
out by @babydollmarauders
- equipment manager x jacky boy- aka a trope I never knew I needed, but now crave after reading this.
ballad of a homeschooled girl by @babydollmarauders
- hands down one of the best pics I've probably ever read in terms of conveying emotion. my stomach was in knots the entire time, attesting to just how realistic the writing is.
never grow up by @aliaology
- i'm sorry but you're not human if you don't get even the tiniest bit emotional at any fic with "never grow up" as the song. BUT A FIC WITH THE BROTHERS? this rendered me emotionally unavailable for a solid 20 minutes.
medía management au by @babydollmarauders
the media management au is an ongoing series staring mr jack hughes and his lovely girl, dove! the updates always bring a a smile to my face, and more than likely make me laugh out loud.
4:41 am by @sweetestdesire
listen, as much as i adore brynn’s smut like no other, her fluffy, soft and sweet fics just do something to me. she writes them so detailed, and consistently has me craving for soft moments with a significant other (a significant other i do not have)
John Marino
stay for a while by @sc0tters
- when i talk about made me feel things, i mean it. amber never fails in writing panty-dropping smut, while also having an thought-out plot.
Luke Hughes
welcome back by @leaentries
- this literally made me swoon. a protective lukey- what's not to love?
nobody's love by @eyesthatroll
- my heart was in my throat while reading, and my emotions were all over the place. regardless of how emotional it left me, it was amazing and deserves all the love.
never grow up by @ aliaology (fic linked under jack)
- older hughes sister watches her brothers grow up + never grow up = tears
summer aches by @starry-hughes
- this fic makes me want a luke to take care of me when i get headaches, triggered by heat or not
what’s not to like? by @starry-hughes
- queen ellen and jimmy are a little apprehensive of you…
jack’s best friend by @lvrzegras
okay listen- any of the brothers x their best friends is great, but jack’s best friend x luke… it just hits different, yk?
Nico Hischier
I never could've seen you coming (I think you're everything I could've ever wanted) by @writingonleaves
- this is probably as close to a literary masterpiece as a fanfic posted on tumblr will ever get
will you take a moment? promise me this (that you'll stand by me forever) by @writingonleaves
- listen- it's apart of the universe she began in the fic above. I have the fic linked under nico (because the oc eventually ends up in a relationship with nico, as seen in the part above), but this is sososo found family heavy. if found family is your trope, then this is your fic
New York Islanders
Mat Barzal
it's nice to have a friend by @youunravelme
- put me through the emotional wringer in the best way possible.
winnie martin's favorite person by @ilyasorokinn
- god- i cannot even begin to describe how cute this is. all i can say, is that I need more pictures of barzy with kids... for science of course.
New York Rangers
Ottawa Senators
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins
Sidney Crosby
she was the (red) devil by @crosbyscurls
- hockey meets f1 is already a dream combination… but sid x f1? absolutely amazing
San Jose Sharks
Seattle Kraken
St Louis Blues
Tampa Bay Lightning
Toronto Maple Leafs
Vancouver Canucks
Quinn Hughes
these michigan summers by @lukevangelista
i feel like the only way your not aware this series exists, then your new here. because if you haven’t read this, where have you been? this is for sure one of my top three series’ on tumblr, finished or unfinished. will in fact, forever have my heart. (currently unfinished)
the sun to my moon by @ghostfacd
this fic is part of an au! i highly, highly recommend checking it out- quinny + a grumpyxsunshine trope, what’s not to love?
never grow up by @ aliaology (fic linked under jack's name)
- older hughes sister watches her brothers grow up + never grow up = tears
Vegas Golden Knights
Washington Capitals
Dylan Strome
it's never too late to come back to my side by @lukevangelista (a series)
- one of my recent favorites. particularly geared towards those who think back on old friendships (...and constantly overthink on whether you should reach out. spoilers- it's never too late)
Winnipeg Jets
NCAA
University of Michigan
Luca Fantilli
missing you, quietly by @bitchinbarzal
- emotional torture in the best way possible. i re-read a concerning amount
i lost him by @hischierhaze
- made me cry- but in a good way
baby 101- name reveal by @hischierhaze
- it's dad!luca... yeah that's right, now that you have that cute thought in your head, you kinda have to go and read it
I tell you that I think im falling back in love with you by @writingonleaves
- this fic is sososo special to me for so many reasons- and I think you should totally read this fic to figure them out... just saying
opposites attract au by @dmercer91
this is a link to the head anons for the au- but please go read this sweet au. luca and landen are one of the sweetest pairings.
Nick Moldenhauer
sundays are for textiles by @drewsbuzzcut
- super cute read, and it's apart of an even cuter au
all american lace by @drewsbuzzcut
- also apart of that super cute nick au she has- but this part was not so cutesy (it was at the end). had me on the edge of my seat, and tears building in my eyes. the type of angst you physically feel- but with the type of ending that makes up for it (trust me, it does!)
Mark Estapa
icy roads by @nicohischierz
the simplest explanation i can offer is that this broke my heart- but i loved it anyway!
Boston College
Gabe Perreault
princess!gf x gabe perreault by @yankstrash
- these two are on my mind at least three times a week. i aspire to become amelia- aka find someone who is as down bad for me as gabe is for “his meels”
#jamie drysdale x reader#trevor zegras x reader#jack hughes x reader#luca fantilli x reader#luca fantilli imagine#adam fantilli x reader#luke hughes x reader#john marino x reader#nick moldenhauer x reader#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier imagine#trevor zegras imagine#trevor zegras#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal imagine#dylan strome#anaheim ducks#new jersey devils#umich hockey#new york islanders#penalty box series#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes#luke hughes imagine#luke hughes#wyatt johnston#john marino imagine#dallas stars#nhl imagine#nhl imagines
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Boston and Ray deserve each other
In a very positive way
I have a theory that if we’ll think about this friend group in a long-term perspective, Boston and Ray have the best chances to keep their relationship and grow up to an actual friendship. Let me explain.
Boston and Ray, while being very different, have a lot of common traits. And what differ them from the other two in this friend group, is that both Ton and Ray are people who constantly judged by their surroundings (and society) for their behavior - Boston is a slut, which is bad for some reason, and Ray is a suicidal alcoholic, which makes him a burden in everyone’s eyes.
And that makes them outcasts from their perfect, level-headed, proper friends Mew and Cheum (seriously fuck them both I’m so sorry I tried my best). So I believe they have at least some level of mutual understanding. It’s not coincidence that Boston was the one who was responsible for taking drunk Ray home. It’s not coincidence that Ray was the one who listened about all Boston’s who’s and how’s. They may not be very much supportive of each other, but they know they don’t have a right to judge the other also.
The thing with these two, in my opinion, is that while they don’t necessarily judge other’s behavior, they know very well what’s other weak spots are. And they know how and when bring it to the table. Boston outed Ray in frond of Sand? Ray does the same shit with Boston in frond of Nick! Do I believe that Ray actually judges Boston for his sex adventures? No. But I know, and Ray knows, how it will look like in other’s eyes.
And don’t get me wrong, those two love seeing each other miserable. Boston fucked up Ray’s attempt to get a new start with Sand just because he was feeling like this. Because Ray in his eyes is, well, pathetic with his whole being in love with Mew situation. And did my boy enjoyed it.
Same way Ray is very much enjoys the view of Boston being screamed at by Cheum. He’s absolutely having fun.
But. But they still have a level they won’t step over. The bar is very low, but it’s here.
Because when Ray is on his lowest point, crushed by cops while Cheum screams at him (about the same thing Boston previously laughed at), Boston doesn’t have fun anymore.
Because when Cheum (why is it always her) tells Boston he’s cut off his friends and the project that will cost him his future, Ray doesn’t have fun anymore.
They don’t do anything to help or support each other, obviously, but they are worried. Cheum is angry, Mew is either black out or having the best time of his life, but those two are actually concerned. And I know it’s not much, and it’s absolutely not what you expect from friends, but this is Boston and Ray we’re talking about.
Both of them, very differently, have no idea how to love properly. Because both of them have no idea how to be loved either. They both know their roles - a slut or a burden - they know how people see them and they are used to it. This is why we get constant parallels between BostonNick and SandRay dynamics.
Because when was the last time someone - including themselves - saw them as something more than a number of dirty toxic unhealthy traits?
When was the last time anyone appreciated how talented of a photographer Boston is?
When was the last time anyone told Ray he has good taste in music?
Was anyone there before to not just love them, cause sometimes it’s the easiest part, but to see them, forgive them, be there for them again, and again, and again?
I honestly don’t think so.
And yes, for now they are absolutely not there, but I do believe that they will grow - they’re doing it already. They will learn how to care about others the same way they will learn to accept someone’s love and care.
And for now it’s Nick and Sand, but - baby steps - while they’ll continue their journeys, they will learn to give it for other people. And I would bet on them finding each other again. In a way more healthier place.
#ofts#only friends the series#only friends#only friends meta#sandray#bostonnick#only friends boston#only friends ray#yes I also believe they fucked in the past#I will never stop thinking about that#nothing in this world proves me the opposite
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Vigilance (Chapter 22 Part 2)
Word count: 18.7k
Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x OC
Warnings: Alcohol, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Angst Including: Talks of Infidelity, Toxic Themes, Stalking, Arguing, Yelling, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Abandonment, Heartbreak, Talks of Illness, Extreme Illness, Hospitalization, Talks of Death and Dying, Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Physical Violence. Talks of Pregnancy, Pregnancy Complications, Pregnancy Loss/Termination. Smut Including: Kissing, Touching, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M!Receiving, Penetration, Rough Sex, Voyeurism. Fluff.
This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.
SAM POV
“Is there a faster setting for these windshield wipers? Cause these things are shit.” You asked Elle as you pulled into the tiny neighborhood in Cape Cod, peering through the thick falling raindrops to see if any of the buildings looked like the one in the Air BnB photos. You’d flown into Boston and rented a car, the perfect small-town birthday getaway, all planned by your lovely Elle.
“Oh, there it is, babe! That one on the corner. It says we can park on the street.” Elle said, pulling on the rain boots she’d ditched the minute you got in the car.
You pulled the car up as closely as you could to the front door of the tiny old house, situated perfectly on a row of about ten others that looked just the same. “It’s so cute!” Elle muttered.
“I can’t even see it, it’s raining so hard!” You yelled over the loud drops pounding on the sunroof. “Let’s wait a second while it calms down before we take everything inside.”
“Mmm…okay.” She complained.
“So anxious to get inside, babe…?” You said, running your hand over the back of her head.
“Maybe. Yes. I’ve just planned this so quickly in the last few days, thinking we were gonna be out on the road instead of getting to do something special. I just can’t believe we actually made it, is all.” She leaned back into your touch, calming her jittery and excited nerves.
You offered her a smile. “I’m excited too, babe. I can’t believe we made it either, honestly. And thank you, for planning this. You’re the best.” You sighed, watching as the rain let up a bit. “We should be soundchecking right now.”
“I’m sorry, love. I know you’d rather be out there playing.” She relented.
“No, no. Not rather. Not rather at all. It’s just you get yourself in this mindset to go and do something like that, it takes a long time to get yourself there. Then it just stops. But it’s okay, shit happens. Jake needs to heal more than anything. Top priority.” You said, giving her a little smile.
“Yes. Top priority. He will be okay, babe. Just needs some time.” She said, clicking the toes of her boots together. “Ready to go in now?”
——
You’d spent the afternoon making yourselves at home in the little house, a quaint place right on the water. The air still had a wintery feeling, but it didn’t stop the place from slowing down. You’d decided to take a walk down into town once the rain turned to a drizzle, seeing what all you could find in your short stay. It was straight out of a Hallmark movie; Main Street still bustled with people and tourists even this time of year.
You picked out a few spots you wanted to come back and visit, making mental note to remember them. Restaurants, record stores, gift shops…everything you needed in one little place.
It had gotten fairly late, and after a tiny takeout dinner, you had retreated to the oversized couch to watch a movie as you both let the jet lag set in.
“So tomorrow. Your birthday. You pick what we do, the whole day.” Elle said as the two of you cuddled up under a blanket when the movie was over.
“The whole day?” You said, scratching your peach fuzz.
“Yep. Morning into night.”
You picked her legs up from the floor and brought them to rest in your lap, massaging her muscles. “Hmm, well I think we should start off taking a shower, and you can wash my hair with that smelly-good stuff you have…” you let your hand travel up her leg, fingers digging into her thigh.
“Then we can walk down to that Bread & Roses place and get coffee…then spend the day just exploring, maybe go out on the boat and see the humpbacks…” your hand ghosted over the hem of her sweatpants, fingers slipping in just barely as she let her eyes bore into yours.
“Mmmhm, then what?” She said.
“Then we can come back and get ready for dinner, you can put on that sexy black dress I saw you put in your suitcase…” your hand snuck below her waistline now, hand grazing over her heat. She smirked hard.
“You saw that, huh?” She asked, clicking her tongue. “That was supposed to be a surprise, Sammy.”
“It still will be, baby. You never cease to surprise me. So then we can go get some seafood, and drink too much wine…” you watched as she began to lose composure at your touch, as you slipped a digit between her folds.
“Way too much wine…” she breathed, arching her back just a little.
“Wayyy too much…” you agreed, allowing your hand to go to work as you maintained eye contact.
“Then we can cuddle up right back here again, and do this again…and again and again…” you slipped your middle finger inside her as her legs fell open under the blanket, and her jaw fell slack.
You sat still, half of you wanting to grab her and take her into the bedroom, the other half wanting to sit here and undo her, with her completely at your will.
You watched as her hands stayed under the blanket, gripping your thigh underneath you. Her face was contorting into beautiful and blissed-out expressions as you worked, hooking your finger slowly deep inside her. “Again and again?” She panted.
“Uh huh, as many times as you want…” you replied, moving your thumb to make tiny swirls on her sweet spot.
“How’s that feel, baby? Feel good?” You asked her, voice low and gravely against the sound of the rain picking back up again.
“Yeah, feels so good…” she moaned a high pitched sound, letting you know she was enjoying herself. “But Sammy, it’s your birthday. You should be the one getting all the special treatment.”
“Eh, yeah maybe. But watching you like this…it’s it’s own special kind.” You began moving your pace a bit faster, adding another finger inside her.
Her head tilted back as her hands gripped your leg harder, completely falling apart right here on your lap. She hummed and gasped for air, her knees opening and closing over and over.
"Sammy, please…keep goi-"
“We’ve got three whole days for you to treat me, baby. Right? You gonna do that for me later, too?”
She nodded hard as her hips began to grind up into your hand. “Of course I will baby. Whatever you want. It’s all yours...” She brought her eyes to yours again, giving you a look that came straight from another world. God this woman…
You brought your face closer to hers, gritting your teeth. “You know what I want right now, Eleanor…go ahead and give it to me…” you growled in her ear.
Seconds later she was coming undone at your words, riding out her high as you continued to move your hand in and out of her, mouthfuls of pitiful words falling from her lips. You swear you could never get enough of her like that, and you weren’t sure you would ever get tired of it. Even if you got nothing in return, just watching her fall apart at your mercy was enough.
“Fuck Sam, that was…a welcome surprise.” She laughed, letting her arm fall over her eyes. “I like the idea of us just doing that kind of thing over and over and over again..” She sat up a bit, wrapping her arms around your neck. “What time is it?”
You clicked your phone screen on the table. “11:49.”
“Close enough.” She popped out from under the blanket, and dashed into the bedroom and then into the kitchen. You heard the refrigerator door open and close, and a few seconds later she was coming back into the room with a plate, with a lit candle sticking out of something on the top.
“Happy birthday to Sammy, happy birthday toooooo Sammy…” she sang, a giant smile on her face as she held her hand in front of the flame while she walked. She set the plate down in front of you. “Make a wish, silly!” She beamed.
You smiled hard at her, rubbing your hands together as you closed your eyes, making a scene out of making your wish.
For the love of all that is holy, please let this discussion I’m about to have with Elle go smoothly, please don’t let her leave me, and please help her to know that she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me…
You opened your eyes, and blew out the candle. She clapped her hands and took the candle out, bringing the plate up in front of your face. You could hardly make out what it was in the dim light of the room.
“That smells amazing, what is that?” You asked.
“My granny’s old recipe for homemade cinnamon rolls!” She answered, running her finger along the top of it, taking some icing and licking it off.
“When did you make these?!” You asked.
“When you were out running errands the other day. Here, try some…” she handed you a fork and you both dug in.
“Holy shit, Elle. That’s the best fuckin thing I’ve ever eaten. Please marry me tomorrow.” You said with a full mouth.
She blushed hard. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!” She laughed, sitting back onto the couch and covering herself with the blanket. You placed the plate back on the table, and laid back with her.
You were trying your damnedest to find the right time to talk to her, tell her what you’d done. You knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, and you absolutely expected the worst. You deserved anything she threw your way, and you’d prepared yourself for her to pack her things and leave when you got back home.
But for right now, her yawns were becoming more and more frequent. And you decided it could wait until tomorrow. For now, you’d let yourself enjoy the peace of her presence, just for a little while longer.
“Happy birthday, Sammy.” She said as she gave you the sweetest look, adoration filling her to the brim. It hurt your heart, to know that tomorrow you’d probably be breaking hers.
——
The next morning you and Elle walked hand in hand along the beach, picking up shells as you sipped your coffees. It was chilly and breezy, and the beach wasn’t too crowded just yet. There was more rain in the forecast though, calling for heavy showers and colder temperatures all night.
“Oh my god babe, look!” You suddenly called out, picking a shell up from the sand and bringing it over to her. “It’s abalone! This is my favorite shell!”
You both examined it, cleaning off the bits of sand to let the iridescent rainbow colors shine through.
“Guidance.” Elle said.
“What?”
“These symbolize guidance, within like, relationships and love.” She went on, giving you a tiny sweet smile. “Are you looking for guidance with something, Sammy?”
Uh, fuck. Yeah, kinda. Wow.
You shrugged, gulping down a hard swallow. “Guess it’s always cool to have a little extra help from the…ocean, hah.”
Elle giggled. “So how does 23 feel?” She asked, pushing her heavy waves behind her ear. The oversized sweater she had on was draping over her shoulder, sitting perfectly on her tiny frame.
“Feels like 22 but cooler.” You answered, kicking through the icy water, sticking the abalone in your pocket. “How is 24?”
“It’s the best year I’ve had yet.” She smiled, always being the glass half-full type of person.
“It has been a good year, hasn’t it?” You answered. “Except for, well, our most recent bummer. Hopefully this doesn’t set the pace for the rest of tour…”
“I hope not.” Elle went on. “You wanna walk down to the pier and get a sandwich or something?”
The two of you made your way to get lunch, stopping at little gift shops along the way. You’d ended up underneath the pier after you ate, the air slowly getting cooler as a drizzle blew in. Elle was standing next to one of the pier beams, looking at all the clusters of barnacles stuck to the sides.
“Elle sells sea shellllls…” you sang as you approached her. “Ew, that’s gross. What are all these things?” You asked, flicking away at some of the crusty old growths.
“Don’t take them off! They’ll die if you remove them!” Elle swatted your hand away.
“Shit, my bad.” You hopped back, hands up in surrender.
“Look, babe…” she pulled her arm in front of her, gently grabbing a tiny shell from the cluster. “Ammonite…” she said, bringing it close to her face.
“Well great, now it’s gonna die!” You complained.
“No, this isn’t a barnacle, dummy. It’s an ammonite shell. Do you know how rare these are? And look, it’s opalized…” She said quietly, the wind blowing her hair in front of her face.
“No, I don’t guess… how do you know all this stuff?” You inquired, truly impressed that she did. “You didn’t even grow up near the ocean…”
“I know a lot of cool things, Sammy.” She said blankly, still closely inspecting the perfect spiral shell, in pure awe that she found it.
“Why don’t you keep it? I can make you a necklace or something out of it.” You suggested.
“Really? Can you?” She said, finally smiling.
“Sure. Couldn’t be too hard. Little dremel action. I’ll figure it out.” You promised her. You knew you’d give her anything in the world if it meant she’d give you that sweet smile again.
“I’ll wear it every single day. Never take it off.” She said, slipping it in her coat pocket for safe keeping.
“And what does the mighty ammonite shell symbolize, oh Wise Knower of All Things Ocean?” You teased.
She rolled her eyes and laughed again. “Change. Just, change.”
——
The rain was falling heavier now, as you and Elle munched on your seafood takeout, opting to stay in with your dinner and wine instead of going out. She’d set the table nicely, lit candles and transferred all the food from the to-go boxes onto nice plates. You cracked a few windows, letting the smell of the rain mixed with the ocean air blow in slightly through the house. You were nearing the bottom of your first bottle of Chardonnay, fully intending on starting the second bottle the minute it was empty.
“Babe, you didn’t have to put the sexy black dress on, I was just kidding.” You joked.
She scoffed. “Of course I did, it’s your birthday. Gotta wine you, dine you, and give you a show. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?”
You giggled. “I’m also glad you got oysters. You know what they say abou-”
“Sam. We all know. You say it every single time we eat oysters…” she rolled her eyes as she sipped her wine.
“What? No I don’t, it’s true though…” you defended yourself.
“I know it is.” She sighed. “That’s why I ordered them.”
“That’s my girl…” you gave her a flirty and devilish laugh. “You’re already killing me in that dress, it’s…truly something. Hope these oysters work their fuckin’ magic…” you said.
She stood from the table, swishing her hips from side to side, knowing she was giving you a show. “All finished, Samuel?” She asked in a sultry voice as she leaned down low, putting her boobs in your face as she took your plate.
“Yes…all done…” you were quickly falling into her trap, getting more turned on with every passing second just by watching her.
“I’ll do the dishes later, we’ve got other things to attend to, hm?” She said, walking back over and straddling you in the chair. She brushed your hair back, hands wrapped around your face as she took you in. Finally she connected her lips to yours, brushing her wine-soaked tongue into your mouth. Her hands wrapped around your head and your neck as she started kissing you harder, giving you immediate indication of exactly what she wanted. God, you were already so turned on, but, you were also bursting at the seams to tell her. You had to talk to her, right now.
You pulled away quickly. “Stop. Elle, stop.”
“What, babe? What’s wrong?” She said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
You began to stand the two of you up, hand in hand, walking to the couch to grab the blanket and lead her into the sunroom. The wall was nothing but big windows, a perfect view of the now stormy waves blowing up onto the beach. There was another giant couch in here, plush and white and covered with pillows. You sat down, motioning for her to join you.
She sat, and you threw the big blanket across you again. “What is it, Sam? You’re scaring me. Is something wrong?”
“No. Well, yes. Yeah, actually.” You took a breath as you took her hands under the blanket, preparing yourself for the storm that was about to hit. The guilt was eating you alive.
“Elle, you know I love you more than anything, anything in the entire world, right?” You prefaced, looking her directly in the eyes.
“Yeah, I know. God Sam, what? What is it?” She asked, anxiety setting in.
“Just let me…” you huffed, running a hand over your face. “That night, in Vegas. I, uh. I did something really bad, Elle.” You felt a lump form in your throat, watching as her eyes filled with dread.
“After Jake left, and you got sick and went to sleep, um. Y/N and I went to smoke, and…things kind of…”
“No, Sam. No…don’t…” she said, letting go of your hands.
You stayed steadfast in your confession. “We hooked up, Elle. Behind your backs. I did it, and…I have no excuse at all. It just… happened. And we both had immediate, immediate regret. It was the most stupid decision I’ve ever made in my life, Elle. And I can never take it back. I will never forgive myself, ever. You don’t deserve that, you never did. And I put our relationship in jeopardy. After everything we built. And I’m so, so sorry baby.” You began to cry a little, seeing the look on her face. She stayed silent.
“I’m so sorry. I should have told you immediately after it happened. But I’m stupid, I guess. I don’t expect you to forgive me. Hell, ever. But I just… wanted to tell you. I couldn’t lie to you any more.” You bit your lips together as the tears fell. You felt relief, but not the good kind.
After a few seconds of hell, she finally spoke. “Does Jake know?”
You nodded. “Yeah, he knew the night it happened. I’m so sorry Elle. They both begged me to tell you, even threatened to do it themselves. But I made them promise me they wouldn’t. It had to come from me.”
"So you lied to me, all that time. All the times we had sex…you told me you loved me, you…” she shook her head, standing from the couch. “You lied to me, Sam. For a good while, why did you-"
“I’m so sorry Elle. Yes I did, I lied to you. And I…I don’t know why I did. I guess I just, everything with Jake happened so fast, and it was so scary, and I was in a weird headspace with that, and worrying about him. And then tour got postponed, I just– I should have told you. As soon as it happened. And I apologize for making that horrible decision. It was thoughtless, Elle. And you don’t deserve that. Neither does Jake.”
She shook her head, letting everything hit her as she sat back down on the other end of the couch. She wiped away a few stray tears. “I think I need a minute. Can you…”
“Yes. Whatever you need. Just, come back to me, soon. Please Elle. Please don’t leave.” You begged, walking slowly to her and holding out your hand. She didn’t grab it. She looked away, pulling a pillow from the stack and curling her body around it, looking out the windows as the rain pounded.
Fuck.
What now?
You retreated back into the kitchen, blowing out the candles and closing the windows. You kept your mind distracted and your hands occupied, cleaning up the table and doing the dishes. You cleaned the entire kitchen, wiped down the counters and even scrubbed the sink.
She just needs a minute. Just needs some time.
After you cleaned until there was not a thing out of place, you grabbed your acoustic from the case in the bedroom, sitting back on the couch in the living room to play a little, hoping it’d bring you some solace.
What came out first was the Age of Machine riff that you wrote so long ago, on a rainy day just like this one. You remembered the day you played it for Jake, thinking it was just going to be something he brushed off.
“Wait, wait…what was that? Do that again.”
“That’s fuckin' scary, Sam. God damn…let’s keep going with it.”
Your fingers plucked away as your mind raced over what had just happened. Was she crying? Should you go in there? Then it hit you, her favorite song.
You began to strum the first few chords of Anthem, hoping she’d hear and come back in and be ready to talk. You hummed along, remembering again when you all wrote it. How simple it was. No frills, nothing fancy. Just good guitar, simple percussion, and really powerful lyrics.
You played for a long while, moving then into something else entirely, big foreboding bellowing sounds then tight and cheery ones, letting the thoughts running through your mind come out through your hands. Darkness fell completely in the house, and you started to worry about Elle, and if she would ever come back.
“Sammy.” You finally heard. You popped up, turning around on the couch to face her.
She walked over slowly, eyes puffy and red and face swollen with tears. She sat carefully on the edge of the couch as you sat up, wanting nothing more than to console her.
“I was going to sleep with Jake that night.” She said finally.
“Uh, yeah? You…you were?” You were caught off guard, knowing that that night had gotten really wild really fast; you knew that while you were busy with Y/N, Jake and Elle were entertaining themselves. You remembered though, not harboring much feeling about it.
“Yes. We talked about it. We were going to…because we assumed you guys were going to, too. Well, at least I assumed…” she scooted a little closer to you as you listened. “Jake and I were…very close that night. And I even texted him and apologized for coming on too strong. But, then Josh called, and I got sick…”
“Yeah, yeah baby that’s exactly how it went. And that’s when I made my decision.” You answered.
“Sam, stop.” She shook her head. “I’m not mad at you, really. I’m… very disappointed. That you lied. Y/N too. My best friend, your best friend.” You nodded. “But that night was so crazy, so uninhibited, we were all, all over the place…I’m sure you were all surprised at me and Y/N taking things where we did, and that’s something else I never really talked to you about. We never…none of us ever talked it through. I guess I know why now…”
“Jake, was he…?” She asked.
“Pissed? Yeah, unbelievably so. Elle, they aren’t together anymore. They’ve been broken up for about a month. Well, since that night. They’ve been lying to us all to keep morale up, keep things normal. But, yeah. They broke up.” You explained.
“What?” She said. “No, fuck! God, Sam. What on earth…”
You nodded, feeling sad for them, too.
“When I texted Jake to apologize, he didn’t tell me that. He barely even remembered he and I being so…close. Sam, if things hadn’t gotten stopped, I was…” she caught her words, shaking her head as she tried to speak. “I was going to ask your permission. I was going to see if you were going to be with Y/N. Because I was going to be with Jake.”
Hm. Okay, well. This conversation wasn’t on your bingo card for the night of your 23rd birthday.
You leaned back on the couch. “What a fucked up situation.” You relented. “But, you aren’t mad at me? How is that even right, Elle? I cheated on you.”
“Yeah, you did. And fuck you for that, truly.”
Deserved that.
“Absolutely, yes. Keep cussing me out. Fight me, slap me if you want. Catch a plane and leave, go back home and pack your things, I get it. I deserve that, because I don’t deserve you, and your heart, Elle. Your big, beautiful, smart, intense and over caring heart. You’re a million times the person that I could even think about being. Just when I think I have shit figured out, you always come and knock me on my ass with something better. You make me want to be better, Elle. All the time.”
“When I’m challenged with something, anything at all, I literally ask myself, ‘What would Elle do?’ I swear to god I do that at least once a day. You inspire the ever living fuck out of me. You make me laugh, because you’re always so unapologetic about being your pure self. When you left, that first time, I swear I didn’t know how I was going to make it. You disappeared, and I was lost for so long, Elle. And when you came back, god, it was like I was whole again.”
You held your head in your hands, listening as a low roll of thunder rumbled in the distance. You thought about Y/N, and how for the longest time, both of them took up space in your mind. Your feelings for them were the same, in love with two people at once. But then, out of nowhere, it hit you.
You moved to Elle, taking her hands in yours. “When I picture my future, when I’m older and we slow down, or whatever. It’s always you there with me. It always has been. Watching Jake in that hospital bed, and watching him fight to breathe as they took him away, his face turning blue and purple as he reached for me, it kinda. Ah, it…” You felt tears beginning to come, now. You hadn’t told Elle about that yet. She squeezed your hands again as you pinched the bridge if your nose, pushing that visual away.
“I watched him go through something that I should have never seen, Elle. It kinda made me realize what’s important in life, cheesy as that sounds. And later he told me that he saw nothing but Y/N’s face as he was blacking out. It made me start thinking…” you were crying hard now. “If that were me, I would see your face. I’d want to see yours. The last person I’d think about, it would be you.”
She sighed deeply as she dried your tears. “Sammy, babe…”
“I love you, Elle. Way too much. So much that it scares me, sometimes. Because…I don’t know what to do with my emotions. You make me feel a way that I’ve never ever felt before. And it’s terrifying. And I run from it. I don’t know why, but I do. Maybe that’s why I made the decision that I did that night. Because I still didn’t want to admit it to myself.”
“Admit what, Sam?”
You took her chin in your hand, bringing your face close to hers.
“That I meant what I said when I was eating that cinnamon roll last night.” You said nervously, every nerve ending in your body on fire.
Finally, finally, she laughed. Rolled her body back on to the couch and laughed. In absolute stitches.
“I’m not marrying you tomorrow, Sam.”
You giggled at her display, feeling like three million pounds had been lifted from your body. You chased her, laying over top of her on the couch, bringing your faces close together as she brought you into her embrace.
“No, not tomorrow…”
——
The storm had intensified, thunder and lightning coming every minute now. You and Elle had spent the last half hour curled up with each other, doing nothing at all but being intimate. Talking, laughing, apologizing and explaining…you let more secrets be shared with her that night than you had ever shared with her before. You got down into the roots of some things, telling her detailed stories and experiences, and letting her know how much you cared for her.
It felt like you had reconnected with her on a cellular level, somehow, and you were thanking your lucky stars that she even was letting you sit with her. It was definitely not how you saw your night going when all of this began. Maybe blowing out that candle really worked.
“Can I kiss you, Elle?”
The very fiber of your being felt like it had been reset, all the reasons you loved her flowing back through your body like a flooding river. The way she kissed you back, the way she touched you, felt like the very first time. You didn’t deserve this…
“I’m nervous, for some reason…”
You picked her up and carried her slowly to the bedroom, never disconnecting from her lips the entire way. You laid her gently on the old mattress, the iron bed frame squeaking as she fell. She still had her black dress on; it accentuated her curves so perfectly and was cut right at her mid thigh…she slid one strap down, pulling it to sit low on her shoulder, before pulling the whole dress down and off, revealing her black lace set. She made intense eye contact with you, bringing her knees toward her chin as she reclined on her elbows.
“Stop giving me those eyes, Eleanor…you know I can’t say no when you do that…”
“Then don’t tell me no…”
You reached down and took your boxers off, letting them fall to the floor as you inched yourself toward her on the bed. You were positively dizzy, the feeling of her skin on yours igniting you into a fire that blazed differently than it ever had before. Her mouth connected to yours in such a way that felt like you were bonded together, feeling every tiny touch and movement as if it were magnified. You were still anxious, nervous for some reason. Like you were about to sleep with her for the very first time. But she comforted you, kissed your sweet spots, walked you through learning her body again.
“Don’t be nervous, Sammy. It’s just me…it’s okay…”
“I know, baby..but the way you touch me sometimes…god.. I swear I could love you all day, and all night for the next hundred years and I’d still never get tired of you…”
It was something brand new. She pushed you back into the pile of pillows, crawled over top of you and flipped herself around with her back to you as she straddled your lap. What a fucking view. She leaned down and connected her sweet mouth to you, licking and pulling and pushing, hands in a soft fury to prepare you for her. Your hands reached down and pulled at her hair, directing her throat to be just where you needed her without forcing her…in and out…her mouth was pure euphoria..hot and wet euphoria.
“You not gonna touch me, Sam?”
Her free hand reached back and ran a finger along the lace barely covering her ass, pulling it to one side as she invited you to touch her. You pulled it more to one side, and her back arched hard for you, revealing her dripping entrance as she continued to close her throat around you. You brought your hand to her, feeling her wetness soak your fingers. “Mmhm…” she hummed around you, causing your dick to jump in her mouth. “Keep feeling me Sam, keep touching me like that…”
The visual was insane, the lightning like camera flashes into the room, each time burning the erotic images into your mind. Your fingers were working her, deep and slow as she hummed her lips around you, bringing you closer and closer…you were sure you’d never felt her like this ever before.
“So gorgeous, my Eleanor…your mouth feels so fucking good baby…”
She arched more for you as her mouth popped hard off the top of your dick, the loss of contact almost bringing tears to your eyes. “Need you to fuck me into this mattress, Sam. Can you break my back, baby?”
You were putty. Melting and running all over the place. You pulled her back, disconnecting her mouth from you as you brought your tongue to her entrance, suddenly feeling the need to taste her. So fucking delicious. You let your tongue delve into her as far as it could go, reaching into her as she pushed herself backwards onto your face.
“Fuck, Sammy…yeah…”
She was whining as you ate her, flipping and flitting your tongue into her as the thunder rolled louder now. Right as you felt her body begin to shake, you repositioned yourself, standing high on your knees behind her as you pulled her panties to the side again, ripping them just a tad in the process. You teased her, the head of your dick begging to push all the way into her, fill her up with everything you had.
“Do it, Sammy please…I can’t wait any longer, fuck…”
She buried her head in the bed, her hands reaching into her hair to grasp it. “Huh uh, my job…” you fisted her hair, tightening it around your hand and pulling her head back slowly, but forcefully as you slowly entered her. Thick and sticky and so ready for you, she felt like heaven. Her sounds alone were enough to get you there, so you pulled back harder. “Arch it for me baby, I know you can do it…”
Her body was at an almost 90 degree angle as you fucked slowly and languidly into her, pushing as deeply as you could go, one hand tangled in her hair and the other pulling on her hip…giving you leverage to move her into just the right spot. She spread her legs a little, lowering herself into the bed a bit more, and allowing her to fuck back into you.
You both were moving slowly, her body dipping low with each thrust and meeting you perfectly as you hit her g spot. “Don’t fucking stop, Sam…right…fucking…there…” she was whining, mewling and purring sounds into the air.
“You want it harder, baby? Think you can take it?” You asked as she nodded. The thunder was clapping now as her asscheeks hit your thighs repeatedly, her muscles flowing like shockwaves with each hit.
You pulled yourself out, earning a groan of displease from her. Hand still tangled in her hair, you stood from the bed and pulled her along with you, walking her to the wall by the bed. You gently pushed her against it, letting her cheek fall flat against the white paint. You lifted her left leg up, hitching the back of her knee in the crease of your elbow.
“Spread for me, babe. There you go…”
And you entered her again, pushing her into the wall. She was considerably tighter like this, and the new position garnered you almost complete control. She was almost unable to move at all. But her sounds continued to fill the room…you knew she was loving it just as much as you were.
“I’m close, baby…almost there…” she said, breathless and sweaty as you fucked up into her.
“Hang on, go with me…I’m right there too…goddamn you’re so fucking tight…”
Your name poured from her mouth as you poured into her, bodies shaking together as you pressed your front against her, her forehead rolling against the sheetrock. When your head came back into one piece, and her body stopped jerking, you snuck your hand around in front of her, between her legs, finding her clit and immediately rubbing small circles.
You went insane on it, flicking it from side to side as you continued to press her into the wall, your still-hard dick resting comfortably inside her. Her cries sounded almost close to tears. You kissed the back of her neck, biting into it as you felt her writhing again.
It surprised her, the overstimulation making her shudder. Her body stiffened as you worked your middle finger over her already swollen bud, begging her to let go again. Her walls were still squeezing around you, still inside her. You almost felt like you could let go again, yourself.
“I know you’ve got another one in there, baby. Let me have it…give it to me again…”
Her hand reached behind her and grasped your shoulder, pulling your torso against her back, fingers digging into your shoulder muscle like she was holding on for dear life.
Within seconds she was soaking your dick all over again, her knees threatening to buckle as she doubled over. Her cries were almost pathetic, shrieking and breathless as she came again.
“There it is, just for me…so gorgeous Eleanor…” you growled into her ear.
When she finally came back to life, you pulled yourself out of her, but still kept a firm hold around her limp body, walking her carefully back over as you both crashed back onto the bed in pure exhaustion.
After a few minutes, she perked up lying on her elbow, looking at you with so much love in her eyes.
“What?” You asked, smirking as you rolled to rest on your elbow too.
“Do you really want what you asked me while you were eating the cinnamon roll?” She peeked through one eye. Her words made your stomach drop and your mouth go dry.
“Yeah, I do. One day, down the road. I can picture it…” you rolled over to your back, looking at the ceiling. “Three kids, maybe four. All really close in age, so they can grow up together like we did. I want to find a big house with a bunch of land, so I can have a massive garden. And a bunch of dogs. Giant kitchen with tons of windows…and all four of my pianos in different rooms. I’m gonna teach all the babies how to play every instrument that I can, whatever they want to learn. The house will be filled with music all the time. And I wanna write songs about them, and for them…that’s what I want.” You huffed a breath, looking back over to her.
“And you know what the best part will be?” You asked.
“Tell me.”
“That you’ll be making those cinnamon rolls for us every week…all the time…the kids will love them…” you brought yourself over to kiss her. “And they’ll love you… and I’ll love you…until we’re old and gray, baby. Until the day you tell me not to. I promise. I promise, I promise…”
—
JAKE POV
You hear her alarm go off on her phone, startling you from your sleep. Her face turned towards you as her own eyes fluttered open. She squeezed them back shut as she reached over to snooze her phone. You smile realizing it’s another morning you’ve woken up and she’s still in bed.
It’s warm under the sheets, you don’t blame her for not wanting to leave. If it were up to you the two of you would stay cocooned in the sheets all day. She throws her arm over her eyes blocking out the morning light, trying to get those five extra minutes. You lay there just looking at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she fights to get back to her dream.
Minutes later when her alarm sounds again, she rolls over towards it and groans, grabbing it from the charger and laying it on her chest.
You reach your hand out and place it on her arm, “You better get moving baby, Josh will be here soon.”
“I know, but I am so tired, we stayed up too late watching last night. I fell asleep in here, again.”
“We can take a break from watching if you want to.” you offer.
“No! I mean, we don’t have to. I just need to force myself out of here.” she giggles.
“Every night I ask you if you want me to take you back in there and you say no…You say you want to stay…” you goad.
“Ugh, I know Jake, sue me…” she says, tossing the blankets off of her, and standing from the bed.
“Don’t be like that…You know I don’t want you to anyways. Like waking up to your face.” you smile.
She steps into the bathroom and shuts the door; your signal to start the coffee before she has to leave. It had been several nights since the family dinner and each one of them was spent twisted together watching a TV show until the both of you fell asleep. At least that was your excuse for it.
As the coffee pot started to gurgle, you grabbed a to-go mug, and waited for the pot to finish brewing. You leaned against the counter, scrolling through your phone as she stepped into the kitchen. She was in a pair of crimson colored leggings, and had on a sports bra that matched. Her hair was in a high ponytail braid down her back, resting just at the criss crossed straps of her sports bra. Shit she looked practically edible.
She had your flannel tossed into the bag hanging from her shoulder, and her birkenstocks in her hands, dropping them to the floor to slide into them as she approached you.
“Again, is there any type of viewing package at the yoga place.” you said, pouring the coffee into the mug.
“No, Jacob…” she says, rolling her eyes and reaching out to grab the mug from your hands.
You look at her again, somewhat jealous that Josh gets to spend the morning with her, looking like that. Fucker.
“I will be back after, okay?” she said, spinning on her heels.
“Hey, wait…” you asked.
You swallowed nervously as you grabbed her free hand in yours, “You wanna go do something tonight?”
She furrowed her brow, “Like what?”
“Something fun, just us. Like we used to.” you offer, feeling your heart beat out of your chest.
“Oh, like a date?” she smiles.
“Do you want it to be a date?” you ask hopefully.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” she grins, squeezing your hand.
“Okay, yeah, then like a date.” you say, releasing her hand.
You see Josh’s car pull up through the front door window, and look back to her, “Your ride is here…Be careful okay, check your surroundings…all of that…”
“Okay, I will I promise and Josh is with me. But…I’m excited… for tonight.” she smiles walking down the hallway. You are right behind her, ready to close the door, but as she slips out she spins around and places a barely there kiss on your cheek. “See you later…”
You smile as you watch her ponytail swing as she jumps into the passenger seat of Josh’s car, waving through the window as they pull away.
—
You spend much of the morning racking your brain for ideas of what the two of you could do tonight. You’d never felt so much pressure planning a date before, but then you realized. It’s Y/N, she won’t care what you’re doing as long as it’s you she’s doing it with. You knew just what to do, and you knew she would love it.
You grab a quick shower and dig through your closet, looking for something to wear down to the studio. Today would be your first meeting back with the guys to start practicing for the South American leg of tour starting up. You were itching to get your hands back on your guitar, ready to turn the amps to one hundred and just rip for a few hours.
Shortly after 11:00 you heard the front door open, and heard her setting her things in the hallway, kicking off her shoes.
“Jake?” she called.
“Up here!” you called out to her from the music room, checking out the strings on your guitar.
You hear her climb up the steps and round the corner, still looking gorgeous as ever.
“I’m back…” she giggled.
“I see that.” you smile, twisting the knob on the headstock.
“You excited to go play today?” she asked, leaning against the wall.
“Hell yeah, but you know what?” you asked.
“What?”
“I’m more excited for after…” you smiled.
“Yeah? What should I wear on my date with Mr. Jacob Kiszka this evening?” she smiles.
“Mmm…” you hum, rubbing your lips, “A dress. But bring a sweater or something.” you answer.
“I think I can work with those requirements… I’m gonna go take a shower, but, have fun today and don’t over do it, okay?” she pleads.
“I won’t, I won’t, promise.” you answer, sliding your guitar back into the case, and locking it.
“I’ll see you tonight?” she asks.
“Not soon enough.” you smile, watching her blush and run down the stairs.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket and as you pull it out you see a familiar name cross the screen.
misscarsonneely: Guitar question? I’m sure you’re never going to see this.
You smirk, it is a miracle you saw it.
You: I probably have an answer…
misscarsonneely: Wow, I can’t believe you saw this. Okay, so I have been feeling a little inspired lately and decided to put those new strings to use, but when I play it sounds…bad? Like off kind of? Maybe I just suck? Lol.
You smile and laugh, knowing exactly what the problem is.
You: I usually never check my messages to be honest, surprised I saw it too. How about you text me instead. I’ll get you fixed up.
You send her your number and wait for her message to come through, adding the new contact to your phone.
Carson
11:23pm: Have I reached the guitar guru hotline?
You
11:24pm: You have. So I think what you are describing is it being out of tune which happens sometimes when you put higher tension strings on. Could you maybe send me a video so I can be sure?
Carson
11:28pm: Do NOT laugh at me, it is the only song I know.
11:28pm: *Attachment*
You open the video and let it play, stifling back the laugh that escapes you when you hear ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ ringing out terribly through the speaker.
You
11:30pm: Okay, yes. So the strings I put on your guitar are all I had to choose from, and they are high gauge and high tension so they are putting your guitar under a little more stress than it's used to, so it is spinning the knobs itself to release that tension and its causing your guitar to lose its tuning. It’s probably going to do that a few times until the strings are settled, so just re-tune your guitar and you should be set. Well, until next time. ;)
Carson
11:32pm: I swear I’m not an idiot. I really did tune it yesterday and it sounded fine so when I picked it up today and it sounded like that I never thought that maybe it was just out of tune. God I’m sorry I bothered you with that.
You
11:35pm: No, I know you’re not. You just aren’t used to those type of strings. Asked Sam to grab some to give to Josh, and that's probably all I had in my kit.
Carson
11:36pm: And I appreciate it soo much. Thank you again for doing that.
You
11:37pm: My pleasure Miss Carson, let me know if you need help with anything else.
Carson
11:38pm: Thanks Jake. Promise I won’t bug you with more stupid questions. Lol
You
11:39pm: I can assure you you’re not bugging me. Not in the slightest.
Carson
11:40pm: Good to know ;)
You stare at the message for a bit before locking your phone and shoving it into your pocket. You grab your guitar case and make your way downstairs, grabbing your keys and heading out the door, set for the studio feeling happier than you had in weeks.
—
It felt good to be back to it. God it felt good. But it felt even better knowing you’d be back on the road soon. As much as you were enjoying your time at home with Y/N you craved to be out seeing the world. And it was even better when she was there with you.
You started small, playing through a few songs, working your stamina back up to what it was. You had another week or two before you left for South America and you were convinced that if you just came in and did a little bit everyday, you would be back to where you were. Almost like muscle memory.
After a particularly long jam session you checked your phone seeing that it was damn near time to leave to make it home in time to get ready for your date.
You slung your guitar strap over your head and turned off your amp, unplugging the pick up and beginning to pack up your things.
“Damn Jake, what lit a fire under your ass?” Sam asked.
“I gotta get out of here. Have plans tonight.” You replied flicking your glasses down over your eyes.
“With who…” Danny winked.
“Your motha…” you said in your best British accent.
“Good. Go. In fact what the fuck is taking you so long? Get outta here…” Josh said, shooing you out the door.
You turned to the guys and offered them a quick wave as you stepped out the door ready to wine and dine your favorite girl.
—
You stepped into the front door and deposited your guitar case against the wall, calling her name through the echoey house.
When you heard no answer you called out again, “Y/N? Where are you my love?”
“Jake?” She said, stepping out into the hallway as she fastened her earring. You nearly stopped breathing at the sight of her.
“Sorry babe, didn’t hear you come in!” She smiled walking over towards you.
“Is this okay?”’she asks, running her hands over her navy blue dress nervously before looking up at you.
“Everyday I think there’s no way you could possibly be more beautiful and everyday I wake up to just that. You look gorgeous.” You say, seeing the blush creep across her face.
“Jake…” she whines.
“It’s true. I’m going to change clothes and then I will be ready to go, okay? Why don’t you have a glass of wine and I’ll be out in a minute.” You say.
She nods and flits off to the kitchen as you turn on your heels heading for the bedroom. You had stewed over what to wear for your date all morning, finally deciding on a pair of pinstripe slacks and a black button up. You knew she liked it, and she was always particularly handsy when it came to you leaving your shirts open, so it seemed like the natural choice.
You kick off your jeans and your t-shirt and throw them in the hamper, hearing a knock on the closet door. You spin around and see her standing with a wine glass extended towards you.
“Can’t drink alone…” she coos.
You take the glass and laugh, “You’re not supposed to see me like this until after, baby….”
A short and sweet ‘hm’ leaves her lips as she spins away to let you finish dressing. You sip the red wine and feel your insides warm as you fasten the bottom buttons of your shirt. You slide on your slacks and a pair of loafers before picking a necklace from your wall.
You give yourself a once over in the mirror and step into the bathroom to spritz yourself with cologne, taking a deep breath and tossing back the rest of the glass of wine.
She’s sitting on the couch in the study, lazily scrolling through her phone as she sees you step out. Her eyes scan over you top to bottom lighting your chest on fire. Her gaze grows dark and she bites her lips together stifling back the words that want to escape.
Reaching a hand towards her, you ask, “Ready my love?”
—
“Two for Jacob…” you said to the hostess. She grabbed two menus and guided the two of you to a small candle lit table in the corner of the restaurant.
You pulled her chair out for her, letting her sit before pushing her in. You took the chair across from her, laying your napkin across your lap as she perused the drink menu.
“Can’t believe you got us a reservation here last minute… you know this is my favorite place in the city.” She smiled shyly.
“I know it’s your favorite and when I called earlier to see if they had any availability tonight I wasn’t hopeful but by some stroke of luck…” you trailed off. “Anyways, I’m happy they got us in. Fate I guess.” you smiled.
“Thank you, Jake… for doing all of this. For planning this and asking me…” She said.
“Of course baby, wish we could go out more. But I was thinking, how about when we are out on the road, you and I sneak off and find somewhere cool to eat in the long stop cities. Just us. Keep working on us…” you say, reaching for her hand. She laces her fingers with yours and you smile feeling her hand in yours.
She nods her head excitedly, rubbing her thumb over yours.
“Okay good. Can’t imagine being on the road without you, you know. Want to see the world with you.” you admit, seeing her eyes grow teary.
“Me too, Jake.”
A few minutes later the waiter arrived to take your drink orders, both of you opting for specialty cocktails, sure to have both of you feeling more relaxed in a matter of minutes.
As they arrived you tapped your glass to hers, “To our first date…” you smirked.
“And hopefully not the last…” she replied with a playful smile.
You both sipped your drinks, carrying on normal conversation and talking about all the cities you’d be traveling to in the upcoming months. You both ordered your food, and as you waited you checked the time on your phone to make sure you were still looking good.
“Have a hot date?” she asked with a smirk.
“Sure fuckin’ do…” you grin, “I was just making sure we’re good on time. Our next activity starts at a very specific time…”
“Oh, we are doing something else?” she asks.
“Yep, this is going to be a proper first date. When we are done here I am taking your to the movies, where I am going to spend half of it working up the courage to hold your hand.” you say.
“Oh gosh, well I will make sure I position my hand on the armrest just right to make it not look super obvious that I want you to.” she laughs.
“Can’t wait.” you smile.
“What movie are we seeing?” she asks.
“Well, that was the hard part. There were hardly any options. We have tickets for The Northman. I know it’s not really your thing but we can pick another if you don’t want to see that.” you offer.
“Jake…Do you think we’ve been watching The X-Files every night because I am really into alien mystery shows?” she asks.
“Um…” you hum.
“We could be watching Antiques Roadshow and I wouldn’t miss a single night…” she says.
“And why’s that Y/N…” you coax.
“You know why.” she smiles shyly.
“Tell me, I want to hear you say it.
“Because I just want to be there with you. Lay with you…Want to feel you run your fingers over my arms, and hear your laugh, and feel you twirl my hair between your fingers and kiss my head when you think I’m asleep.”
“So you aren’t leaving on purpose.” you smile.
“Absolutely on purpose.” she smiles.
“So don’t.” you reply, locking eyes with her across the table.
You feel her foot brush your leg and you swallow back the overwhelming urge to kiss her, and thankfully the waiter arrives with your food, putting a stop to your sudden urge.
The two of you continue to talk as you enjoy your food, downing another drink and sharing a few more laughs. You check your phone again, and see that you are right on time, as long as the bill comes in the next few minutes.
With the sign of your name on the line and the toss of a few bills on the table you are walking hand in hand down the sidewalk towards the movie theater, buzzing from the alcohol flowing through your body.
“Does my date require any concessions?” you ask, playfully.
“No your date is miserably full from dinner, but if you want something you should get it! I can’t even remember the last time you went to the movies.” she says.
“I can’t remember the last time I went either…” you say rubbing your lips. “Come on, let's go find some good seats.” you say, clasping her hand in yours as you step into the musky smelling theater, ready to hold her hand for the next two hours straight.
—
Obviously, the two of you rushed to the very top row of seats in the theater against the wall, any other seats simply not making any sense. You took the seat to her left, removing your jacket and setting it in the seat beside you. The advertisements before the previews began rolling, and your heart rate began to pick up. Why did you feel like you were 14 again, on a date with a girl you’d had a crush on for two whole weeks?
The two of you shared a few glances, her hands folded and rested comfortably under her chin as her elbows balanced on the armrests. Suddenly the lights went down, and the previews started. The quick heart rate from earlier got even worse. You didn’t know if it was the nerves from being on a real actual date with her again, or the fact that you were so starved for her touch after the week you’d had, but you found your insides rolling around on themselves with want for her. Her touch, any kind.
You looked at her with your peripheral, the light from the screen bouncing off her face. She smirked a little, feeling your eyes on her. You made it through the five or six new movie previews, but you couldn’t name one. All you could think about was the gorgeous girl to your right, shoulder to shoulder with you.
Finally the lights went down even more, and you noticed that the only other people that had made it into the theater was another couple around your age, who had chosen to sit down in almost the front row. A theater almost to yourselves.
The opening credits began, the loud music rattling the walls and chairs. You felt your palms begin to sweat with nerves, so you wiped them across the thighs of your pants, and rested your elbows on the armrests, jokingly fighting Y/N to claim the spot. You heard her laugh through her nose, moving her elbow around to make room for you.
“You know, if you wanted the arm rest all you had to do was ask.” She whispered, bringing her mouth to your ear. Instant chills. “And if you want to hold my hand, all you have to do is grab it.”
She pulled back, turning her attention back to the movie. Deep breath, it’s just Y/N.
You held your hand out, palm up, and she happily laid hers in it, interlacing your fingers with hers and squeezing tightly. Okay, good. Okay.
You looked to her, smiling ear to ear. The feeling of holding her hand was sending bolts of electricity straight up your arm, and you began rubbing your thumb across her knuckles.
The movie went on, you only paying half-attention to it. In an act of confidence, you brought her hand to your lips, lying a long and sweet kiss to her palm. She started gushing, shying away and giving you a smile so sweet you felt like melting. She then repeated your action, kissing each of your fingertips and then your palm, her mouth parted and half open as she slowly laid kisses all over your scarred hand, like she remembered where she pulled each and every shard of glass out all those years ago.
Then, she did something that caught you so completely off guard that you felt your head spin. She brought your pointer finger slowly into her mouth, running her tongue along it, closing her lips tightly around it, and lightly biting the tip…shit. You exhaled, getting so extremely turned on from such a simple act. Then, she switched your fingers, stretching it all the way to the back of her throat.
Fuck.
When she finally removed it, you were writhing in your seat. She turned back to the movie like nothing had ever happened. Your heart was beating in your ears as you decided to meet her energy, snaking your hand down to her thigh, letting it slip underneath her dress, and grip the tender part of her muscle. You watched as she scooted forward just a bit in her seat, obviously enjoying this game so far. You took it further, letting your hand travel higher and higher until your fingers were ghosting the fabric of her thong.
The next thing you knew, her hand was mirroring yours, traveling with a tight grip up the inside of your thigh. Shit shit shit. She didn’t slow down, she didn’t shy away. Her hand lightly grazed your bulge, before completely gripping it in her hand. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the expression on her face was begging you to touch her more.
You let your hand go up further, touching her through her panties. You held eye contact as you both touched each other, driving the other absolutely insane. You were hoping and praying that she would move to unbuckle your belt, and like she was reading your mind, she did.
Your free hand moved to help her, your chest already heaving. She kept her eyes trained on the movie while you maneuvered your belt and zipper, and when you got everything unlatched, her finger tips sunk below the waistline of your boxers, pulling them out so she could reach her hand all the way in.
Fuck what is happening shit shit…
You felt your already damaged lungs lose every bit of air at her touch, her hand gripping your dick and squeezing it, moving her hand as much as she could with it still tucked away in your boxers.
You gathered your thoughts quickly…two can play this game, baby. You let your left hand pull her thong to the side, wasting no time in going straight for the place you knew would drive her wild. God, she felt so perfect. You’d almost forgotten…her hand on you mixed with the feeling of her on your fingers was making your vision blur. She scooted down in the seat a bit more, giving you more space to feel her completely. Should you…?
Just then, the door to the theater slammed, and in walked another couple, coming up the stairs and taking their seats near the middle of the theater. You closed your eyes, sighing a frustrated huff while you glanced to Y/N, her opposite hand covering her mouth.
She started to giggle. She removed her hand slowly, and you did the same. She was trying hard not to laugh out loud, holding her nose closed as she caught her breath.
“What the fuck are you laughing at?” You whispered, readjusting yourself in your slacks.
“We’re acting like a couple of horny teenagers feeling each other up in a damn movie theater, and we almost got caught. It’s just funny, okay?” She laughed again through her strangled whispers, causing you to feel a chuckle leave your chest. It was kind of funny.
After you calmed down a little, you leaned in close to her ear, sharing the armrest now. “Doesn’t change the fact that even though I’m not a teenager, I’m still extremely fuckin’ turned on right now and I want to leave this movie as soon as humanly possible.”
She took a deep breath, teeth gritted tightly as she watched the screen. “Let’s go.”
——
You both made a mad dash out of the theater and toward the car, the brisk night air bringing you back to reality for the time being. What the hell just happened in there? As you made your way through the parking lot digging for your keys in your pocket, Y/N rushed up beside you, taking your hand in hers as you walked. Oh.
You gave her a knowing glance, and she gave you a glare that could’ve killed you. She really wants this to keep going…get it together Jake.
You both hopped in the car, and you started up the engine, backing out of the parking space. When you got on the road, you cleared your throat. Neither of you had said a word since you left the theater, and frankly, you had no idea what to say. All you knew was that you were absolutely starving for her, and the tension between you was so thick you could almost see it. Was this really happening? It’s been over a month…
You let your left hand drape across the steering wheel and your right balance on the console, nervously running your fingers over your lips.
“Are you anxious, Jake?” She finally broke the silence.
Uhhhh…
You cleared your throat once again, feeling the threat of a tiny cough tickle your throat, still not completely rid of your illness. “Yeah,” your voice cracked. “Yeah not gonna lie, Y/N, kinda anxious.” You told her truthfully.
“Me too.” She said meekly, sinking into the chair.
You reached your hand out for her again like you had in the theater, letting her grasp your fingers with hers. Still feels so perfect.
“Do you wanna go home? Or…” you asked, making sure she had the same thoughts as you.
“Yeah. Let’s go home.” She said.
“What uh, what about the rules?” You asked her.
“Well, we didn’t break rule #1, and we kinda broke rule #2…”
“We broke the fuck out of rule #2, babe.” You laughed.
“Yeah, well. I guess, since we never um. Stated a rule #4, it doesn’t really, technically exist, right?” She offered.
Holy fucking shit she wants to do it.
“Yeah I…I don’t remember us saying that one was in the book, do you?” You replied nervously.
She shook her head from side to side. “Won’t change anything though… We’re still, not…”
You nodded. “Right. Yes. Won’t change anything at all. Still very much…not together.”
“Right. Not together.” she said, looking at you longingly.
You brought her hand to your mouth again, this time not letting it leave your lips until you were pulling down your street.
——
HER POV
Did he really want to do this? Should you do this? As the car pulled up to the house he put it in park and shut off the engine, as he turned to look at you. Your hands were still clasped together but now rested on your lap. Your brain started to swirl with panic. Would this undo everything?
“Jake, I’m sorry I did that in the movie theater. I shouldn’t have.” you said quietly.
“No, I… It’s okay. I liked it…I’ve…missed your touch.” he replies.
“You have…” you question.
“Are you kidding me? Yeah baby…” he scoffs. “Come on, let’s go inside…”
You nod and open your door, stepping out onto the sidewalk as he rounds the front of the car to meet you. Your brain was still rushing with want but you knew in your heart that you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be with him like that until the two of you were back together. Right?
“I can see you overthinking it.” he smirks, unlocking the front door.
“I’m not…I’m just…I’m scared it will undo all the progress we’ve made. That part of our relationship was always solid. I’m just scared we will fall back into how things were…” you explain.
“And what’s wrong with that?” he says, stepping inside and tossing his keys on the table.
“I was a terrible person. Partner…I just want to be what you need in a partner and back then, I wasn’t. You deserve better Jake.” you say.
He steps up to you and grabs your arms looking into your eyes, “I can assure you that you are everything I need. Everything I deserve. Everything I want. If you want to wait, it’ll fuckin’ kill me, but I will wait. I will always wait for you, Y/N. Okay?”
He slides his hand down your arms and twists his fingers with yours.
“Are you sure you aren’t mad Jake? I feel like I just teased you so bad, and you planned the most perfect date and now I am leaving you high and dry…We shouldn’t have taken it that far…” you say.
“Baby this was never part of the plan. I never expected anything. I just wanted to take you out, have a little bit of fun outside of the house. Everything else was just extra. And honestly just feeling your hand on me even if just for a minute was enough.” he pauses. “I mean I guess I was kind of expecting a kiss at the end of the date…” he says playfully.
“So walk me to my door and maybe you’ll get it…” you tease.
He releases one of your hands as he walks you to the guest room door pausing as you turn to face him, “Thank you for the date. It was so much fun…I hope we can have another one day…” you taunt.
“Mmm it’s looking pretty good so far…” he smirks, leaning his head towards you placing his hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours. You wind your hands around his waist and pull him closer to you. He pulls your bottom lip between his, sucking at it gently as his tongue swipes over it. You open your mouth just slightly to let him in, a gentle whine leaving your mouth.
“Mmm fuck…” he growls as he pulls away. “We have to stop. I want you so bad. I’m sorry Y/N. Anyways, thanks for coming with me tonight. I hope you… sleep well…” he says, stepping back from the doorway.
You twist the door knob and step inside, “You too…” you breathe, your head still rushing with want.
You close the door softly and stand there, heart pounding as you think about his mouth on yours, his lips, his hands on your skin. Your body fills with goosebumps and your breath catches in your throat. Next thing you know your hand is reaching for the door knob throwing it open ready to run straight to his room, but as the door flies open he's there, leaning against the wall.
“Jake…” you breathe.
“Baby…” he replies, pulling you into him.
Your mouths reunite once again but this time it's faster, more frenzied. Both of you positively dripping with need for the other. You tangle both of your hands into the hair at the base of his head as your lips fight to kiss every inch of his. His hands reach down and cradle your thighs, pulling you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he walks both of you as quickly as he can towards his bedroom.
Your lips never part from him, kissing his jaw, his neck, fuck… anywhere you can reach. He kicks open the door walking straight to the bed and dropping you onto your back into the fluffy duvet.
He steps back from you, unbuttoning the last buttons of his shirt and throwing it to the floor. He kicks off his pants and rejoins you on the bed, hovering over top of you as his lips connect to the skin of your neck. He brings one of his hands to your chest, grabbing your tits as frantically as he can. His fingers hook into the strap of your dress, sliding the fabric down your shoulder to reveal your bare chest.
“Goddamnit Y/N…” he breathes.
You squirm underneath him, desperate to feel his lips on your skin again.
“Tell me you’re sure.” he demands.
“I’m sure! I’m sure! Please!” you beg.
He pulls your dress the rest of the way off of your body, leaving you both in just your underwear. He studies you, his eyes running over every inch of your body like it’s the first time he’s seen it. Your eyes flick to his nervously as his gaze grows darker.
He runs his hand down your chest, and over your stomach, letting his fingers graze your heat as he swipes them down your legs. Your hips buck up into his feeling his hardened length brush your skin.
He sees the look in your eye when you feel it, a smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. “Every fuckin’ day. Every day I have to fight that off. I’m not gonna fight it anymore baby.”
“Please Jake…” you beg.
His fingers hook into the lace of your thong all but ripping it from your body as he uses his knee to spread your legs. You’re breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling quickly as you wait for his touch.
“Where was I…” he said, swiping a finger through your wetness.
“Somewhere like here…” he said, pushing two fingers inside of you, causing your back to arch up off the bed.
“Yeah, yeah. Right there, huh baby…” he growled.
His free hand comes up to twist one of your nipples between his fingers, a whine leaving your lips at the sensation. “You always have made the prettiest sounds.”
He hooks his fingers up into you, as he lowers his lips to your other nipple, sucking it into his mouth and biting gently.
“Jake…” you moan.
He releases his mouth from you, continuing to pump his fingers in and out, “Yeah baby?”
“I can’t wait. Please. Just…please.” you beg, reaching to pull his boxers down.
He pulls his fingers from you and pushes his boxers the rest of the way off, kicking them to the floor to join the rest of your clothes.
Your eyes travel down his torso to his dick, before you flick your eyes back up to his.
He snaps his fingers and points to the top of the bed, “Get in the middle.”
You quickly move yourself backwards as he crawls onto the bed between your legs. He bends down, licking a hot stripe up your center, as you sigh into the air.
His left hand comes up to rest next to your head as his right grips his length and drags his tip through your folds.
“Jesus Christ Y/N, I swear to god I’m not going to last five seconds.” he pants.
“If we’re going to break the rules, we are going to fucking break them.” you breathe.
With a grunt he presses inside you and a whine rips from your chest at the feeling. He is breathing heavy over top of you, trying to keep his composure as your insides adjust around him.
“Fuck me, you are so tight. Feels like the fucking first time I felt you around me…” he pulls his hips back to try to start moving, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lets out a breath.
“Shit, yeah I need a second.” he pleads.
“Jake, I need you to move. I need you to fuck me right this second.” you beg.
He swallows harshly and pulls back, before pressing into you again with a deep groan. You can see him fighting it, he wants to give you what you want. He wants this to last the rest of the night. You can feel every sweet inch of him as he moves inside of you, your walls clenching around him with every thrust.
“Jake…fuck…fuck I missed you. I…” you breathe, digging your nails into his back.
He attaches his lips to yours, licking into your mouth as he starts to move quicker, hitting your sweet spot with every stroke.
He lowers his lips to your ear, whispering into it as he works both of you towards release.
“You feel so fuckin’ good baby. My gorgeous fuckin’ girl…” he growls.
He starts to roll his hips, causing his tip to slide against your g-spot in slow meticulous strokes as he presses his hand to your pelvis to increase the pressure. You cry out in bliss as the sensation takes over your body.
“Feel good? Feel good when I fuck you like that? Been thinkin’ about it for weeks. The things I was going to do to you when I finally got you back…Better than I imagined baby. You always are…” he whispers.
He pulls out all the way, grabbing your knee and hooking it up over his hip as he presses all the way in to be fully seated inside of you. You clench down around him, and his eyes shoot open to lock with yours.
“I can’t hold it…” he breathes.
“Don’t…” you pant.
“Want you to cum with me.” he begs.
“I’m there… just keep going…” you answer.
He brings his thumb to his mouth, licking it before pressing it to your clit making rapid circles. You arch up into his touch, and whine.
“Yeah just like that love, you’re so close. My good girl, let me have it. Let me fill you. Can I do that? Can I fill my girl?” he coaxes.
“Please Jake! Fuck!” you cry, a tear springing from your eye.
“Now baby, right fuckin’ now!” he says, grabbing your hips and pulling you impossibly closer to him as his cock jerks violently inside of you. You feel the fire blaze through your chest as your release washes over the both of you, completely tearing your consciousness apart. He grunts your name as his warmth fills you, the room filled with breathy moans and whimpers.
He releases his grip on your hips trying to slowly pull himself out of you without making a huge mess, but as he pulls out, it spills out of you and onto your legs. He groans as he watches, his eyes flicking to yours, which you’re sure are completely blissed out.
He brings himself to lay on top of you, pressing his lips to yours over and over, until you’re both giggling and smiling.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t go longer. I…It’s been a month without you…” he says, rolling off of you and onto his side.
“Jake…I was barely holding on too. But…” you pause.
“But what…” he asks, running his finger down your sternum.
“But I want more.” you whisper.
“Oh thank god…” he says, turning your body onto your side, and pulling you into him. He lifts your leg and positions himself at your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you.
“I don’t know if I will ever get enough of you Y/N…” he whispers into your ear.
His hand reaches around to the front of you swirling his fingers over your clit as you arch into him.
“Oh fuck stay like that, keep your back arched like that, holy fuck…” he begs slowly thrusting in and out of you. He continues to whisper sweet praises into your ear as his hand travels over your body so softly, so gently.
His hand comes back up to wrap around your front holding you tightly to his chest. Suddenly you feel the air between you shift, this is no longer frenzied and furious sex, no, somewhere it shifted into slow and tender love making. There were no more harsh movements, there were no more dirty phrases. It was just you and him. The both of you showing each other you’re still here. You’re both still in there, loving each other, through it all.
He pulls out of you and you spin to face him, near tears as he presses his lips to yours in a kiss you know is laced with love and adoration. He pulls your hips towards him, as you part your legs to let him back in. He presses into you until he is fully seated and breathing in deeply the scent of the two of you together.
You wrap your arms around his neck as he slowly pushes and pulls in and out, his eyes never leaving yours once.
“Remember, that night in the hotel room, I told you to stop telling me you loved me.” he says, continuing to move.
“Yeah…” you breathe.
“Please don’t…” he begs.
You press your lips to his, your tongues tangling together as he moves inside of you.
“Why did you say it?” you ask.
“Because it was killing me that I couldn’t say it back…I never stopped loving you.” he answered, starting to pant.
“I found out right after that, what I did. Crawled into bed with you. Just wanted to be close to you. Had to tell you I loved you too. Couldn’t breathe until I said it. You didn’t hear it, but…” he continued.
“You do?” you ask.
He grabs you and rolls to his back, bringing you to sit on top of him. You spin around to face him, repositioning yourself on top of him, as you begin to roll your hips slowly.
“Y/N there is nothing in the world that you could ever do that would keep me from loving you.” he answers.
You lift off of him before dropping back down, repeating the motion until the both of you are crumbling closer to your second orgasm.
His hands guided your hips, as he talked you through it, his touch tender and loving as he spilled into you for the second time. You rolled off of him and into the bathroom to clean up, opting for a quick rinse in the shower before you both returned to the bed.
You helped him change the sheets and he disappeared down the hallway, returning with your pillow and your cell phone.
You pulled on one of his t-shirts and a clean pair of underwear before you slid into the bed next to him and cuddled into his side.
“Hey baby?” you asked, into the dark room.
“Yes?”
You rolled closer to him and looked up towards him, “What do you want to do for your birthday?”
“Hmmm…That…” he giggles.
You dig a finger into his ribs, “No seriously…”
“I am being serious.” he laughs again.
“Jacob…” you warn.
“I don’t know. I just want to spend the day with you…See Josh, and the guys…nothing fancy. Just want to do this. This feels good. Makes me happy.” he answers.
“Okay, okay…” you say, pressing a kiss to his bare chest.
“Are you excited to go to South America in a few days?” he asks.
“I am excited, I have always wanted to go to Brazil.” you answer.
“I can’t wait to take you, it's so beautiful there. There are so many cool places to eat and things to see…” he gushes, “...and to spend every night just like this…”
“Jake… we… won’t spend every night just like this though…” you say.
“What do you mean…” he asks, turning towards you.
“We…we’re in separate rooms, remember?” you remind him.
“No…cancel it, change it, or whatever…You sleep with me damn near every night Y/N…I’ve kind of grown partial to it…”
“I know baby, but this is part of that growing up thing I am working on. I think we need to stay separate while we are on tour. At least while we aren’t together…”
“I don’t want to be separate. I want to go out, play our shows, eat good food, and make love to my girl every night.” he says.
“Jake, we can’t do that either…” you say nervously.
“What so this was just…Just a one time thing?” he asks, stopping the hand that's been rubbing your arm.
“No…I don’t know, I don’t know what we are supposed to do but I feel like we need to limit it as much as possible. I know it will be hard but we have to… try.”
He lets out a sigh, “Okay, well, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”
“It’s not what I want Jake, but it’s what we need, as a couple. To keep rebuilding our relationship, without using sex as a buffer.” you say.
“I know. I just, need you…sometimes.” he admits.
“I know babe, me too. And I think sometimes is…fine. We just need to wait until neither of us can take it anymore and then…” you pause. “Think about how good it felt just now…”
“Fucking perfect.” he answers.
“Exactly, and I feel like emotionally our relationship is getting so much better. If we can just keep… doing what we’re doing…I think we can be together again and I can be the person I want to be for you.” you say.
He pulls you into his chest and kisses your head, “I know baby. I want you to be happy. I’m so glad you are still coming with us. With me. Still want to go eat at cool places with you. We can do that, right?”
“Yeah babe, we can do that.” you say reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips. “And for the record I am fully intending on sleeping just like this all night long.” you say wrapping your arm around his waist and nuzzling your face into his neck.
“I’d be sad if you didn’t.” he says, wrapping his arms around you.
You both start to drift off, your mind swirling with thoughts of Jake and Brazil, when your phone chimes on your nightstand. Your eyes pop open and you roll over to grab it, squinting as you read the name.
Elle
11:47pm: We need to talk.
You lock your phone and set it on the nightstand, swallowing nervously as you return back to Jake.
“Who was it baby?” he asks, voice groggy and still half asleep.
“It was Elle. She wants to talk…”
—
The next morning you woke up almost exactly how you’d fallen asleep, tied and twisted with Jake, your limbs sweaty underneath the heavy covers. The memories of the night before came swirling back as the muscles of your insides began to throb. It really had been a while. But you welcomed the uncomfortable sensation, truly being thankful you could fulfill your human needs so effortlessly with him.
His hair was overtop of your face, just where you liked it. He stirred beside you, flipping his face to the other side, taking his locks with him. Then he propped up on his elbows, rubbing his face before looking at you with the sweetest smile.
“Mornin' sunshine.” You said, taking in the sight of him grinning with all his teeth. “You look like you got laid last night.”
“I’m on cloud fuckin’ 9, baby.” He giggled shyly, rolling himself to you and placing his elbows on either side of your head. “Actually got to sleep with the hottest girl I’ve ever seen last night.” He went on, laying sweet kisses to your lips.
“Oh really? How was that?” You played along.
His tongue brushed inside your mouth, instantly bringing back that feeling of want that lived deep in your bones. “Fuckin’ amazing. Perfect. I’d give you all the details, but…” he clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately I probably won’t get to do it again for a while, she said she wants to take things slow.”
“Ahh, that sucks. Well, maybe from time to time, when you’ve both built up so much tension…” you let your hands travel down to grip his ass, letting your fingernails dig in and pull him toward you, pressing his morning hard-on directly to your heat.
“…you both can talk about it again. Ya know, just hooking up every once in a while. You’re both adults, right?” You suggested, leaving the conversation open ended.
He moaned through a little cry, pushing himself against you again. “We are both adults. Nothing wrong with some healthy sex every once in a while, right?”
You pressed your lips to his again, licking into his mouth as you felt him hold himself back. “Nothing wrong with it at all…” he mumbled. “God you’re fuckin killing me again, Y/N. I gotta get up. Gotta go, do something…anything…” You giggled as you watched him walk to the bathroom, still completely nude. “Let’s go get coffee.”
——
Half an hour later, the two of you were sitting outside of your favorite coffee shop, sipping from your cups and sharing an oversized blueberry muffin.
“My abs are sore.” Jake said quietly as he stirred his coffee.
“Sore? From what? We hardly lasted five minutes each time…jeeze. Must be out of shape…” you shook your head at him playfully.
He scoffed. “Ugh leave me alone, it’s been a while. Plus I haven’t exercised in like, two months. I almost died of fuckin’ pneumonia and laid in a bed for two weeks, did you forget?” He spat back, sounding bratty as hell.
“Hm. Well. Guess you’ll just have to build that stamina back up then, won’t you?” You winked.
The courtyard in front of the coffee shop was semi crowded, lots of people with dogs and baby strollers. You watched as a young mom pushed a double carriage to the table beside you, parking it there and pushing the sun visor up to reveal two sleeping baby boys.
“Is anyone using this table?” She asked, taking her backpack off.
“No, no. All yours.” Jake smiled and moved a chair out of the way for her.
“Got some tiny ones there.” You said.
“They’re three months old today. Meeting my friend to celebrate their milestone with some coffee and way too much sugar!” She laughed.
“Oh, I bet you need all the caffeine you can get, huh?” You said.
“That’s an understatement…” she laughed as she waved her friend over to join her.
You and Jake sat in silence for a while, people watching and finishing your coffees. You started thinking, right then and there, about something that you truly hadn’t thought hard about in years. Something that, until recently, you’d buried away so far in your brain that you’d nearly forgotten, and the fact that you’d almost forgotten made you sick. A part of your life that you didn’t discuss, that you didn’t bring up, that was a secret from everyone you loved.
“What’s wrong baby? You’re being kinda quiet…” Jake interrupted your internalization.
You perked up. “Oh, nothing. Just kinda sleepy still.”
“Okay. We can take a nap later, if you want.” Jake suggested.
“Yeah, that sounds good to me, babe.” You answered blankly.
You both glanced over to the mom again as one of the babies woke up and started crying. You watched as she picked him up to console him, and watched as the other one instinctively opened his eyes at the sound of his brother’s crying.
“Ya know, me and Josh always used to wonder which one of us would end up with twins, since there’s such a big chance of that happening through generations. I always thought it’d be him.” Jake said.
You watched as the second baby moved his head around, eyes darting side to side, looking for his counterpart. Your heart nearly shattered into pieces. Even as young and tiny as he was, he looked lost, like his compass was going haywire…
“Watch it be Sam.” You responded.
Jake’s head snapped your way. “Really? You think? Why?”
You shrugged. “Just would be funny. Hey, you think your brothers would wanna come over for dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, probably. I think Sam and Elle are back, Danny texted me last night-”
“No, Jake. Just your brothers. Your blood ones.” You interrupted, earning a very strange look from him.
“Uh..I guess. I can… ask them. Why just them?” He pressed.
Your mind spun around as you tried to pull an excuse to get the three of them alone together.
“I want to talk to them. You. Just you three. About… everything.” You only half-lied. “Together, as a family.”
“Okayyyy, yeah, I’ll text them now. Uh, our house? 5:00?” He said, pulling out his phone.
“Perfect.” You took the opportunity to take your phone out as well, pulling up the text from Elle.
You
10:31am: Coffee tomorrow?
——
The rest of the day proceeded normally, you and Jake went home and did end up napping the rest of the afternoon away, him walking on eggshells at the uncertainty of why you wanted just Josh and Sam to come over this evening, but never pressing the issue with more questions.
“I’m starting the pasta babe! They should be here any minute!” Jake yelled from the kitchen as you finished up some laundry.
“Sounds good! I’m almost done here!” You shut the lid to the washing machine, nerves suddenly overtaking your body. You felt your face flush pink, and your stomach flipped over, making you feel sick. You leaned backwards onto the machine, fanning your face as the blood finally traveled back to your brain.
You rushed into the guest room, pulling the drawer to your nightstand open to reveal your barely-yet-used journal. You flipped to the last few pages, finding the old photograph perfectly safe there.
Fuck, you can do this.
Little did Jake know, you weren’t okay. You were terrified. And you were about to share with them your deepest, darkest secret.
——
“…and it wasn’t even the priest, it was his barber all along!” Josh had finished up with a twenty minute long joke, sending the four of you into stitches.
“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, Josh. My god.” Sam said.
“Well, it made you laugh didn’t it?” Josh retorted, making Sam throw his hands into the air.
Dinner was drawing to a close, and you knew the guys were getting antsy with their curiosity of asking them here tonight. All three of them.
“Another bottle, guys?” You said, standing from the table and clearing some of the plates away.
“Yeah, sure. And also when you come back, can you bring the reason you asked just us two to come over tonight?” Sam snapped, turning around in his seat to face you. Fuck you, Sammy.
You turned to shoot daggers at him, only to be met with three of almost the exact same face staring back at you. You dropped the plates into the sink, admitting defeat.
You slowly walked back over to the table, taking your seat. The three of them leaned in closely, watching your next move. You cleared your throat.
“Alright, alright.” Deep breath. “So, this…isn’t easy to say…so forgive me if I get, a little emotional, okay?” You asked, looking to all three of them, the people you loved most in this world, looking at you with so much worry and concern in their eyes you could explode.
“We grew up together right? Since we were babies, and stayed so close all these years, so I feel like I can trust each of you, even after all the bullshit we’ve been through, what I ultimately was the cause of, right?”
They all nodded, speaking quietly that yes, of course you could trust them.
“Sam, my very first chosen friend. Always there for me and always my rock ever since we could walk. I think you know me better than I know myself, and that’s a little terrifying. Always calling me out on my shit, and helping me fucking cause it, too.” You giggled, hoping that one day all of the stuff that happened in Vegas could become a joke.
“Well, ya know...” He laughed.
“Josh, you’re such a good big brother to them. And to me, you always were. You don’t even know you’re doing it, but you keep all of us so grounded and so in line, and so in love with life that you should win an award. And thank you, for helping me here lately. Taking me out of my comfort zone and under your wing. I don’t think you know how much I appreciate it.”
He nodded a sweet you’re welcome.
“And Jake, what the hell. Where do I even start? I’m so excited about this new life we’re building together, and how supportive you’ve always been of me. All the shit I put you through, it’s been some of the most horrible and beautifully messy times of my life. And I’m so thankful for you and all you do for us.”
“I’m also so proud of you guys.” You said, looking to Jake and Sam. “After all that shit in Vegas, you two can still find a way to love each other. And I am so wholeheartedly sorry about how that all went down. From the bottom of my heart, I swear.”
Jake reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly.
“I don’t know if you know, Jake, but Sam watched you go through something really traumatic in the hospital, and when he told me about it, god, it tore me to shreds. Seeing the love you guys all have for each other, it…” you couldn’t stop the tears that were forming in your eyes, as Jake squeezed your hand harder. “It made me realize some things. And I don’t want to run from it anymore. I want to share…everything. With you guys. With my family. Even my secrets.”
All three of them adjusted in their chairs, curiosity and apprehension written all over them. You stood up, went into the guest room, and re-emerged with your journal. You sat back down, and flipped to the very back page. You pulled the tiny photograph that was stuck between the pages, seeing it one last time by yourself before it became not only your secret, but theirs, too.
You turned it around so all three of them could see.
Sam and Jake simultaneously sat back in their seats, physically blown away by what you were showing them.
A blurry black and white sonogram image of a baby. Your baby. The one you never got to meet.
“It’s okay, it’s okay…it’s neither of yours…look at the date…” you said to them as you realized their instant state of panic.
“January 14, 2017.” Sam said, his breath falling out of him with relief. “Oh my god…”
“Baby, what the fuck is going on? What is this? Your name is on this…” Jake said, letting his emotions start to rise.
“Yeah, Jake. That’s because it was mine. Mine and Andy’s.” You relented.
You watched as their faces were painted with happiness, then shock, then sorrow.
“I never got to meet this baby, because right before I found out, Andy started showing his true colors in a more public way. Remember the night of the New Years Eve party? When he found us out on the porch?” You looked to Jake.
“The night he put his hands on me there, left bruises on my arms…all the horrible things he did even before that, you know. Well, I found out two weeks later. I didn’t tell him I was even going to the doctor to find out for sure.” Your tears finally decided to run over. “The night before my appointment, he was drunk. We got into an argument, he pushed me so hard into the wall that it busted a hole through. I thought for sure that if I was pregnant, I would have lost it that night, anyway. So I fought him off of me for another hour or so, let him pass out on the couch. The next day at my appointment, lo and behold, the baby was alright. But I wasn’t.”
“I was so devastated…the nurse at the clinic saw the bruises on me, noticed how much of a shell of a person I was, slipped me a brochure for noticing the signs of domestic abuse. God, it threw me for a loop…I never even thought that that was what I was enduring, all that time. Seeing it there on paper, that Andy was abusing me while I was being told I was most definitely going to be bringing his child into the world. It…fucking…” you were sobbing hard now, finally feeling the weight of the subject coming to the light like a weight off your entire being.
“I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life, that day. I had to decide. I had to keep myself safe, and I could barely do that. Andy was getting worse by the day. The thought of having to bring a baby…god, I couldn’t even…” you took a deep breath, feeling Jake’s arms wrapping around your back, pulling you tightly into him.
“Fuck, Y/N…” he cried into your hair.
You continued. “I never told Andy about it. I kept it a secret…from everybody. I felt so ashamed. A few weeks after I had the procedure, one of Andy’s fraternity brothers’ girlfriends decided to let it slip that she knew I was there…she worked at the clinic and recognized me I guess. Bitch. Completely against the fucking law, but. They told Andy, and he was infuriated. Said that I took something away from him without him even knowing he had it. Hated me for it, called me horrible things. Thinking back now, maybe I should have told him. I guess I could have given him that much. But honestly, things were getting so bad that I truly don’t think that tiny thing would have survived another night of its mother being thrown into the dining room table.”
Jake’s arms held you steady, his hands rubbing across your skin. You finally got the gumption to look at Josh and Sam, both of them absolutely fraught with sadness, tears falling hard from both of their faces. You could tell they were dying to speak, but neither of them had any clue what to say.
“The reason I’m telling you all of this is because you deserve an answer. I’ve lied about it for months. That’s why he’s stalking me. That’s why he’s been following us everywhere, breaking in and stealing your things…He’s obsessed with giving me what he thinks I deserve for taking that away from him. I’m scared he’s not gonna stop until he gets it. He’s getting worse, he’s in it too deeply now.”
Josh’s hands were folded in front of him, covering his mouth as his leg bounced up and down. Sam had his head hanging from his fingers laced through his hair, staring at the tiny photograph. Jake finally released you, squatting beside you to speak. He brought both hands to your face, slowly drifting his thumbs under your eyes to catch the tears that just wouldn’t stop coming.
“I love you so much, Y/N, I swear to god I do. I’m so sorry…” he whispered, pulling up to embrace you again. You let your arms wrap around him, your safe place, your home. He’d finally told you he loved you, after weeks of not hearing those words fall from his mouth.
“I love you too, Jake.” You said through cutting sobs. “I’m so sorry I never told you, told any of you. I should have been honest from the get go. I was just too afraid to tell the truth of why he was following me. Could’ve saved us a lot of difficulty.”
“No, no no…” they all chimed in unison.
“No, Y/N. That was something you didn’t have to share with us. You could’ve kept that secret for as long as you needed to.” Josh said.
“Yeah, this is him being crazy, not you. Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe. All of us will.” Sam added. “He’s not gonna get what he thinks he deserves. We won’t let him.”
“Yeah, no way that fucker is getting anywhere near you ever again.” Jake added.
You nodded. “I’m trying really hard, guys. I’m trying to be better. I think getting this off my chest was the real start of it.” You said, tears staining Jake’s shirt. “I’m ready to heal.”
The other two silently made their way over to you and Jake, wrapping their arms all around you and each other as they held you in their own cage of protection.
You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, all embraced together, but right then you knew you’d made the right decision in telling them. They harbored no blame, no judgment, no ill feelings toward you. Just love. Devastatingly perfect love.
——
After a few minutes of silent sobs and embarrassed tears, the four of you stood to gather yourselves.
“Well, that was a lot, sorry guys.” You laughed nervously, stepping away a bit.
“Please stop apologizing, Y/N. There’s nothing at all to be sorry for. If anything you should be patting yourself on the back, for sharing that with us. That’s a huge step.” Josh said.
“Yeah, babe. Don’t be sorry to us. We’re all gonna get through it together. One step at a time, okay? We won't leave you.” Jake said, rubbing your shoulders from behind.
Sam walked up and took you in a giant embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he spun you in little half circles. “Can’t believe you held that in for so many years…I’m–I’m so sorry, Y/N.” His whisper was quiet in your ear. This was the closest you’d been with Sam since…
“Thanks, Sammy. It’s alright. In a dark place for way too long…ready to walk away from it.”
He pulled back, taking your head in his hands. “And we’ll be right here to hold your hand as you do. Okay?” You nodded, more tears forming as you felt his familiar comforting touch. He laid a sweet kiss to your forehead, and backed away. A little more light conversation added some happiness to the heavy atmosphere, and you suddenly felt yourself become extremely exhausted.
The air changed, and Josh and Sam caught the drift that it was time for them to go home. “Thanks for listening to me, guys. Means more than you know.” You told them as you walked them toward the door. “I’m gonna tell Elle and Daniel soon, so. Just wanted you three to know first.”
They nodded, sending you more sweet goodbyes as they shut the door behind them. You turned to see Jake leaned against the countertop, his face completely sunken in with an expression that didn’t make sense.
“You wanna go for a walk or something?” He said.
You sighed, walking back over to wrap yourself up in him. “No, I gotta clean up the kitchen.” You said.
“No, baby. That can wait until tomorrow. It’s fine.” Jake replied.
“Okay…kinda wanna go lay down again.” You laughed.
You walked under his arm back to the bedroom, changing into something comfy, and sliding back under the covers with him. He took you up in his arms, pulling you close as you let yourself finally breathe.
“I don’t know what to say, babe. I’m proud of you for being strong, though. I can’t believe you went so long holding that in…I couldn’t imagine what you’ve been going through keeping that to yourself.” Jake said, laying his cheek to your hair.
“I almost called you. That day I went to the clinic. I didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to go by myself. But, I just…”
“You should’ve called me! I would have gone with you, talked to you…” he said, voice rising.
“You were in Europe, Jake. Not even in the same time zone. But, I did it. Got through it. It all…worked out…” you said, squeezing him tighter.
“I know…I’m so sorry baby.” he whispered.
You took another deep breath. “Jake, there’s more, though…”
He pulled back a bit, looking at you sternly, pity on his face. “More…?”
You buried your face in his chest. “After everything with the baby, in the year or so after, when I’d go to my annual checkups, they told me it was a miracle I even conceived at all. And after the procedure, I was left with a lot of internal scarring. Lots of… strange complications. Told me it would be extremely difficult for me to even get pregnant ever again, without intervention.”
“Fuck, babe…” he mouthed. You felt his body go limp.
You sat up, able to look him in the face now. “That’s why…that’s why I never told you about it. I didn’t think you’d want me anymore, if you knew I might not…”
“Shit, Y/N, no. No no no, please don’t.” He sat up and squeezed you again, more sobs rattling through your chest.
“It’s not fair to you, Jake. You deserve that. And I was selfish in not telling you, but I just love you so much, and everything was so scary and crazy, I didn’t want you not in my life…”
He pulled away, grasping both of your hands in his. “Listen to me, Y/N. You’re it for me. Okay? You always have been. I’m ready to have you any way you are, no matter what. Please, don’t for one second think that I think less of you. Ever. You’re the most amazing thing in my life and I’m not ever letting you go.”
“But what if I can’t give you what you’ve always wanted?” You cried.
“You are what I’ve always wanted, Y/N. Only you! As far as that goes…we will figure it out, babe. You and me. We’ll make it through all that together, okay? We have tons and tons of options. I’m not even worried about it.” He pulled you into him again, qualming your tears as he soothed you. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but first we have a few places to stop along the way.”
“You think we will get there?” You breathed.
“Yeah baby… I know we will. I think about it almost everyday.” he says.
“You do?” you whisper.
“Yeah Y/N. I…I know you’re the one. You always have been. I was stupid to ever let you go. I’m not going to make that mistake again. I swear.” he says, pushing the hair from your face.
“I love you Jake.” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He pulls you down on top of him, holding you close to him as he kisses your head, “I love you too Y/N. I always always will. Until the day I die. I swear it.”
As you let him hold you, your mind raced again but a little more peacefully now, knowing that this was just the beginning. You’d started on a brand new journey, and family had taken on a whole new meaning. Facing it head on was going to be the challenge, but you felt stronger than ever. Ready to weather a new storm, with your compass heading set toward calmer seas.
But in the back of your mind lingered a persistent demon, one that had haunted and tormented you for years on end. And though you felt safe here in your lover’s arms, you knew that the storm was still brewing, waiting, ready to wash you away the second it could.
.
.
.
.
.
.
When someone we know and care about is impacted by domestic violence, it is hard to know how to help. But friends and family are important in supporting people experiencing domestic violence so they feel empowered to leave. Waiting for the perfect words could keep you from seizing the opportunity to change a life.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help. All it takes is one call to the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or Text START to 88788 to discuss your situation.
For more help identifying the signs of domestic abuse visit this site for tons of helpful resources.
If you are pregnant and unsure about your feelings or what to do next, we recommend calling the All-Options Talkline at 1-888-493-0092 from anywhere in the United States or Canada. All-Options offers unconditional, judgment-free support for people in all of their decisions, feelings, and experiences with pregnancy, parenting, abortion, and adoption.
Vigilance The Outtakes : Disruption
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The Mundanity of Meanness
@waitmyturtles' posts over the last few episodes of Only Friends (1, 2) have got me thinking.
There's so much casual cruelty among the friend group of Boston, Cheum, Mew, and Ray - all the little pointed comments or assumptions that always jump to the worst faith/most uncharitable conclusion. Mew's birthday at the bar was ripe with them - Cheum happily saying everyone has a lover, even "a heartless slut like Boston," while Ray is sitting right there; Mew assuming Ray was in the bathroom to get high, then lecturing him and saying he won't live past 30, etc. - but we've seen it throughout the show. Remarking to the professor that Boston won't do anything, as expected... not worrying about how Ray got home or why he isn't answering his calls because he is probably drunk... and so on. In their interactions with each other they've come to tolerate, to expect, meanness and toxicity.
The newcomers to the friend group aren't exempt either - look at what Sand puts up with from Ray, or what Nick puts up with from Boston. I thought it was interesting that the most sincere and heartfelt apology in episode 7 was from Sand to Nick - Sand really seemed to grasp how his comments and actions hurt Nick, even if he doesn't agree with his life choices. It puts into perspective the behaviour of the core four's friend group, where the apologies last episode were mostly insincere or forced in some way. Sand and Nick seem to have lived a life with less of this mundane meanness around, compared to the friend group - they aren't used to treating each other poorly.
The moment that really caught my attention this episode was Boston at the pool fight scene saying "It was unintentional" when pushed to apologize to Mew for sleeping with Top. Mew is pissed ("Unintentional, my ass"), but I think in a lot of ways it was! Boston wanted to sleep with Top. He did. End of story. Obviously, Boston also has his superiority complex about Mew and they have their ideological war around sex going on, and sleeping with Mew's boyfriend does contribute to Boston "winning" in those areas, but Boston also just doesn't think of consequences, he doesn't think about other people. That's what this friend group is all about: YOLO and living in the moment, being self-absorbed.
However, even if the results of their actions were "unintentional," that doesn't absolve Boston or any of the other characters from the hurt they cause. Impact vs. intention. Boston might not have intended to get Mew SO upset at his sleeping with Top (Boston has a different mindset than Mew around sex and exclusivity), Mew might not have intended to drum up Top's fire trauma when he burned the sketch, Ray might not intend to wound Sand with every comment about his lifestyle, but they need to realize/learn that other people are coming at things with their own baggage and through their own lenses and that they need take accountability for their actions and words, even if they themselves don't see harm in them. What might not be a big deal to them might be a big deal to someone else.
The final point I've been musing on is at the simple, everyday, mundanity of all this. Often as fans we've been looking for connections, for forethought and calculation in the actions of the characters, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I think its important to acknowledge that real harm can come too from unintentional or unthinking actions or comments. It doesn't always have to be a carefully thought out evil plan or a targeted attack. Sometimes people just do what's best for them and don't think about how others would conceive of or react to their actions... especially young people and especially self-absorbed wealthy young people.
#only friends the series#ofts#ofts meta#ranch thoughts#ephemerality squad#thanks wmt and mk for talking this through with me!
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piercintyre and hawnk for the ask meme :3c
piercentyre
Ship It!
What made you ship it?
You know for a long time I didn't, and it was really two things. What first opened me up to it was seeing different takes on it. When I first joined the fandom I really saw one popular piercentyre narrative and I hated it (and still do). The thing that made me ship it was one time I rewatched The Consultant and Hawk said "if you're trying to get me drunk it'll probably work" and I was like "oh they are not going golfing, are there?
What are your favorite things about the ship?
I just love that they're best friends! Shipping them for me is basically just adding sex, the rest of it is already there in the show, so it's fun! I love the way they interact onscreen, it kind of makes me insane. They're one of the best depictions of best friends I've ever seen, which is special to me, and I like friends-as-lovers. Also they'd end up in either Boston or Maine which are my stomping grounds.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
I just cannot stand angst for this ship. I hate it. Unless it's the variety of angst where one of them dies. I don't think Trapper broke Hawkeye's heart. I don't think Hawkeye was more in love or that Trapper couldn't communicate his feelings. I think Trapper was incredibly good to him and they were both realistic about their future together.
hawnk
Ship It!
What made you ship it?
I have eyes! I didn't actually like hawnk at first but the more I watched the show the more I noticed it and then I started shipping it as a joke and that only ever ends one way. They really have some chemistry going on.
What are your favorite things about the ship?
It's just so fucking funny. Hawnk is like. Hawkeye is waging psychological warfare on Frank by flirting with him, but Frank doesn't pull away and the gay chicken goes too far. I love how toxic and messed up it is. I like seeing Hawkeye in a dominant role. I like that it's the only gay MASH ship with an onscreen kiss.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
I mean, liking hawnk is kind of an unpopular opinion. I've gotten crap for it before. Deep down I don't think they could ever have a relationship per se, but it's something I'm open to exploring in fic. I guess my unpopular opinion is I think Hawkeye holds some affection for Frank. I think it's unavoidable because of how much they've been through together. He can't not have compassion for Frank. I don't think he really hates him.
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I'm making ✨Headcanons✨ again this time with
Billy Knight
I am making a fic ATM but it isn't on Ralph, my brain cannot focus on one comfort character. But any ho
💧:He has many scars on his body from many things, s*lf harm, biting himself, scratches or marks from other things
💧: He has lots of night terrors, and sometimes wets the bed from them and frequently does so when the terrors come back.(Which is actually canon too/srs)
💧:He does canonically has Schizoid affective disorder, but doesn't take meds for it because he hasn't been able to seek or get proper help
💧:He has autism, and his main icks to things are shouting, flashing lights, and bad clothing textures
💧:He bites his fingers when his bored or nervous, leaving teeth marks all over them
💧:Has trust issues, and isolates himself a lot but is extremely touch/affection starved
💧:I feel like he's been in a bad relationship or two, since it seems he's constantly surrounded by toxic people his whole life
💧: He's been masking for years, and is rarely able to express himself correctly
💧:He also had an abusive father, and when he has his episodes he constantly remembers him
💧: He's lost hair before from stress, thankfully it regrows back easily but he also rarely takes care of it
💧:Talking about hygiene, his hygiene is horrible. He can go weeks or months on end without cleaning himself, and has rashes because of it, and his skin complexion is not the best
💧:He has fleas, definitely has fleas
💧:He smells like dirty pond water, balsamic vinegar, and fermented BO
💧:He needs a bath badly
💧:Was bullied alot when he was younger, even by his own brother and his friends
💧:His clothes nearly always irritate him, there always so baggy and they make his skin absolutely crawl
💧:His stims through hitting himself, hand flapping, repeating quotes from things he likes, Gnawing on things, humming, and rocking
💧:He tends to go nonverbal alot of the time due to everyday being so overstimulating for him
💧: He has insomnia, and has gone many nights without sleep
💧:He doesn't drink water alot, I mean the man barely even cares for himself so I doubt he would drink water
💧:He doesn't like the texture of soap, the sliminess of it bothers him greatly
💧:His comfort foods are Boston cream donuts and banana pudding, he really likes the foods with sweet creamy textures
💧:He doesn't wash his hands with soap, like this was a joke at first but guys I DONT THINK IT'S A JOKE ANYMORE
💧:He rubs his scalp with his fingers to calm himself down or when he's overstimulated
💧:He special interest is wood carving, He tries his best to carve his animals and figures and what not.
💧:He picks strands of his hairs out sometimes
💧:His favorite movie growing up was Robin hood, he would fantasize about stealing from the rich giving to the poor and having zero worries
💧:The closest thing he's ever had to a mother figure is Jimmy's ex wife, she would occasionally comfort him when he was having an episode, panic attack, or was overstimulate
💧:He basically swaddles himself when he sleeps to feel the touch he desperately yearns for
💧:He always sleeps facing towards the door
💧:His father would get on him for every little mistake, so if he evers breaks something or messes up he starts to profusely apologize with tears even forming in his eyes
💧:He hates the every about broccoli, the texture, smell, and ESPECIALLY taste. He hated having to eat them as a kid and would immediately throw them up after
💧:He has a lot of fears, Doctors, Thalassophobia, Abandonment, The Dark, Social situation, etc
💧:To Destimulate he locks himself in the bathroom and sits either on the floor or in the tub and let's loose
💧:When he's overstimulated he pulls on his hair, and feels like his skin is crawling, and in the show he constantly does a little fidget of some sort where he roughly kinda wipes under his nose idk how to explain it but if you seen the show you know what I'm talking about
💧:He also has scars on his hands because he's accidentally cut himself with the chiseler before
💧: Nearly to never makes eye contact unless the person notices he isn't
💧:Also I know he can do some awesome parkour, in the show man's hopped of a building down to crates like it was nothing
💧:Idk but I have a feeling Jimmy has hit him before, like he still cares about him and all cause y'know brothers, but there's just one occasion where Jimmy's temper is worser than usual and he just snaps. Jimmy dore try his best to apologize after, but nonetheless Billy gets put up with alot.
💧:He finds it soothing when someone runs there fingers through his hair, especially if someone were to put there hand on his cheek, he would absolutely melt in your hands
💧:He will shy away from affection at first, but ya gotta warm up to him first till he finds you safe enough to trust
Well that's definitely enough Hc's for today, I do have a fic cooking up for Billy rn, but imma post that later. if y'all got any requests for Billy send em in, I advise you watch the show he's in cause it's pretty good, idk why my brain keeps hoping from person to person tho. I'm strangely contemplating if I should ever make smut with his character . Cause I love the little man to death
#billy knight#C.B Strike#joseph quinn#eddie munson#headcanons#my hcs#autism hc#he needs to be protected#He needs a bath#joe quinn#angst headcanon#angst
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I love how the show is being more apparent about how unbelievably toxic Mew/Cheum's judgmental behavior is. If Mew and Cheum don't understand something they won't even try to understand it they will just actively reject and dismiss. They refuse to see nuance or flaws whilst actively being very flawed themselves. Cheum doesn't understand April's film so she just rejects it talks down about it instead of asking April what the intention is. They don't understand casual hookups so they deem Boston as a heartless slut flat out thinks he's the devil and now a sexual predator. They don't understand Ray's alcoholism so they look down on him and make it about themselves. Mew plays around with Top like a toy sometimes then gets mad when Top doesn't actively follow his every whim. I think it truly says something Boston and Ray's development and growth stemmed from unconditional support from SandNick who were both hurt by said party yet still actively wanted to understand them vs their best friends who are meant to love them unconditionally.
AGREED!!!! and the more we get it, the more i absolutely don't understand the people that insist mew doesn't have a superiority complex because he absolutely fucking does. did you see his evil fucking smile when boston was "getting his due" in his eyes?? and like. here's the thing, i get chuem wanting to protect her brother and believing victims is important. but boston had evidence to show that he didnt take nude photos, that atom willingly posed for them. not only that, but boston is a lot of things but hes not a liar!! he wouldn't lie, especially when his friendship with them has already been tarnished. and yeah, heaaaavy on them finding solace in sand and nick and never being able to feel that way with chuem and mew. and you can see ray didn't fully agree with the way they were handling it, either, but why would he mess up things by going hard against them? especially when he has his own issues with boston.
for clarification, i love chuem and mew in the same way i love all these messy bitches and their toxicity. it's just insane to me that they can get away with it and no one else can apparently.
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I Was Enchanted To Meet You- Thursday, April 27, 2023
Para: I Was Enchanted To Meet You
Rating: PG.
Pairing: Seblaine.
Blaine: @andersoncharm
Sebastian: @smythesm
When: Thursday, April 27, 2023 (Seb 28, and Blaine 26.)
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Notes: Blaine and Sebastian get married under a sky of spring flowers.
Warnings: This RP in general includes; Mentions of death/Parental Death (Blaine’s Mom), Mentions of toxic past relationships. Mentions of brief past Klaine. Depression. Anxiety.
Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)
Para Title and Lyrics Taken From: Taylor Swift- Enchanted.
We will be doing a series of little mini’s to progress over the next few years of this RP. Things might get a little confusing but we promise to date them accordingly.
Under cut to keep dash neat. Work is mostly unedited as usual.
Sebastian’s POV:
Sebastian Smythe was getting married and he was thrilled. That was a thought he had never imagined would happen. But, things with Blaine were just that way- mystical, surprising, shocking, romantic, and wonderful. The two of them stood in the courtyard of their Boston home with their hands clasped together. They were surrounded by a select few of their family and friends.
The courtyard was full of every type of purple and white flower you could imagine. There was a mix of magical and natural flowers, even some sprinkled in from Friday's Flower Shop. Blaine had spent the days leading up to the ceremony working his magic to create garlands of hyacinths that swept across the space intertwined with sparkling fairy lights, bouquets of lilies and corsages of sweet smelling lilacs for both of them to wear.
Sabine looked impeccable in her sleek black dress as she sat in the front row, the mother of the grooms. Blaine had told her that his father was in England for business and couldn’t get back. They didn’t want her to think he was on bad terms with him but couldn’t really tell her about the whole exile thing either. She said she understood and gladly accepted the role. She had been a wonderful help, of course. She helped to make sure the chairs and catering arrived on time and even volunteered to watch the house and the pets while they were gone even though she didn’t need to with Freya around.
Hunter had held Mel, their little flower girl, and even sprinkled magical aubergine petals down the aisle. He couldn’t hide his smile as he stood next to Sebastian, Mel’s little coos and giggles mixing with the soft music that played. Tony was their officiant of course and Sam, B’s best friend, stood next to him with a happy look in his eyes that could rival an excited Enjolras ready for a treat.
Tony spoke eloquently but Sebastian could hardly focus on the words. He knew he needed to of course, he had things he was supposed to say. He just couldn't stop staring at his soon to be husband. He looked perfect with his sleeves rolled up and his suspenders. They kept squeezing each other's hands three times, “ I love you.” Seb just wanted to slip the ring onto his lover’s finger, just wanted to dance under the dizzying but lovely scent of the flowers and drink champagne and kiss and kiss and kiss until it was time to celebrate their wedding night all alone.
When it was time for his vows he felt more nervous than he had anticipated. He pulled the piece of paper from inside of his tux jacket and unfolded it with ever so slightly shaky hands that only Blaine would notice.
“ I’m not the best with words unless I’m arguing a case or just….arguing in general, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Blaine, the day that Ras dragged me into you at the park was the best happy accident to ever happen to me. You're my favorite person and somebody I never could have imagined ending up with. I grew up thinking that I didn’t need love, that it was a losing game and that I was too smart for all of it. I hate admitting when I’m wrong, but I’m so glad that I was. I love you and everything that you are.”
Blaine’s POV:
Blaine had worked meticulously and tirelessly to make sure his and Sebastian’s wedding was beautiful and intimate, he’d spent weeks tweaking each leaf and petal- most of the flowers were natural except for the hyacinths which Blaine had gone to great measure to craft out perfectly with magic, all the while explaining to his soon to be husband all about Apollo. One of Blaine’s patron gods, and why the flower was significant in the first place. Alas, the story was a sad one- Apollo lost his lover after all, but the point of incorporating the symbol into such an important day for the two of them was that Apollo had gotten love Hyacinth while he was alive and didn’t their story have traces of Sebastian and Blaine’s story? Men loving men, others being jealous of that, fates… It seemed only natural to have as many of the flowers as possible. He’s also made sure to tuck little surprises of red roses and myrtle here and there to honor Aphrodite. She did have a hand in their meeting after all and was protecting his love still. It made him smile every time one of their human guests made a comment about the pop of red in all of the magical purple and white.
And Blaine truly had outdone himself. The whole courtyard looked like a fairytale and smelled floral with a sprinkle of freshly cut grass. It just felt like love and spring and the birdsong was enough to make a person cry. It was as if they were singing just for them. It was gorgeous. Still, none of it compared to the man standing in front of him in a fitted dark tux, purple flower in his lapel, trembling fingers holding onto a piece of paper that featured words that threatened to sweep Blaine away all over again. He wanted to reach out and steady Sebastian’s hands and reassure him once more with three squeezes of love, but he was too taken with his words to do more than grin.
Sebastian’s words, the man who said so little but showed so much. Gods. It was all happening, it was real- they were getting married. Sure, technically they were already married, the papers were signed so they could leave for their honeymoon in the morning with little fuss, but here in front of an audience of people they cared about both present and in memory, it was actually happening. His breath hitched as he listened, Seb telling him that he loved him and everything he was almost made him lose what little control he had over himself and a teary laugh escaped him at Seb’s little joke.
“I hope someone recorded that so I can remind you that you said it later…”
He swallowed to keep himself from losing it over Sebastian’s sweetest words, but he could still feel the tremble in his bottom lip and his eyes stung with tears as gold met green. Blaine felt breathless and like he might float away and was only able to steady himself by reaching out and taking Seb’s hands in his.
“I- well, I guess it’s my turn,” He looked around the crowd at all the faces watching them- Sam, Hunter and even adorable little Mel, hair in ringlets, in her dad's arms stood next to them all with goofy grins on their faces. Tony stood in front of them looking gorgeous with her long braids piled on her head, the tip of her nose red from sniffling. She was doing such a good job. Freya and Ras sat happily with the two of them like proper wedding party members, Freya had trained the pup well. They both looked so proud, yes even Freya. Sabine sat up front with, wiping away tears as she listened, and he watched as Thomas actually took her hand in his as he looked up at Sebastian with- was that pride? He thought so. Blaine noted that David and Nick had snuck in somewhere in the back because of course they did, forbidden or not they had shown up. He gave them the smallest nod. Only two people were missing for him- one was in his heart and he could feel her there each time the spring breeze rustled a new batch of petals into the air, almost like his mom was throwing them herself. And the other person would be risking a great deal by showing up. He supposed his dad not being there was for the best even if it hurt both of them.
He cleared his throat, knowing it was pointless as his voice would be thick with tears the moment he tried to speak anyway.
“Sebastian… where do I even begin?” He squeezed Seb’s hands trying to steady himself and took another breath. “After I lost my mom I never really thought I’d find happiness. I had this… emptiness inside of me and I felt so alone all of the time even when people I cared about were around me. It felt like a piece missing that I hadn’t noticed before and nothing made me feel better about it. Nothing until you and Ras came crashing into me and turned my whole life upside down. The two of us have been through so much- more than most people could come back from, you know?” Blane wanted to say that they’d sacrificed and lost more than most but he didn't’ want anyone to question it, besides Sebastian knew what he meant, “we’ve fought so hard to keep what we have, this love- this untouchable thing, and we’ve came back stronger than ever after all of it, most people would just fall apart-” He swallowed hard, rolling his eyes upward to clear away the tears and losing a few in the process.
“I said I wouldn't cry and here I am crying- shocking, I’m sure.” he paused and brought one of Seb's hands to his lips before kissing it gently, “What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much. In fact, I love you a little more every single day that I get to spend with you. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done and getting to just sit next to you and wind down on the couch each night after a hard day is the most magical thing in the world to me.” He didn’t care if that last line was cheesy, he meant it.
He wanted to tiptoe up and kiss his person, but Tony was telling them it was time for rings and Blaine’s heart jumped again knowing they were one step closer to being Mr. and Mr. Smythe-Anderson. Normally there would be a ring bearer but the two of them had decided to keep the rings close to their hearts in honor of the way Seb had proposed during their short engagement. Blaine reached up to Sebastian’s necklace, the one that held his protective crystals and wedding ring and slid Seb’s ring loose with shaking but sure hands, nodding to Seb to do the same, his fingers gently guiding Sebastian’s to his own necklace.
Sebastian’s POV:
It came as no surprise that Blaine’s vows were perfectly picked and poised. Most guests wouldn’t think twice about the word ‘magical’ but to Sebastian it meant everything. In their world, one filled with enchanted fruit, gods, cryptids, and teleportation, Blaine had picked him as the most bewitching thing. He had always picked him over the power and the divination, over leading the Witches in his father’s footsteps. Sebastian had never really felt like anybody’s first pick before he met the other man. He wiped a tear off of his cheek with the back of his hand and rolled his eyes playfully, only for B to see.
He knew that later on, when it was just the two of them in their bed that they’d tease each other about how sappy everything was and that he would cheekily deny his nervous hands and watery eyes, he’d smother B with kisses to end the playful teasing and the dark would wrap them up as they tangled together.
The rest of the ceremony was a bit of a blur. They slipped each other’s rings on with shaky and soft laughter. They kissed and held each other tight when Tony announced them as husband and husband. They walked down the aisle surrounded by soft applause and shiny eyes. Sebastian stopped to hug his mother and Blaine shook Thomas’s hand. Looking around at the small group, Sebastian couldn’t wait to get inside and celebrate with their friends and family.
Sabine had helped them set up the downstairs of their home or the small reception. There were more of Blaine’s flowers and handmade candles with lemon balm and cinnamon for good cheer enchantments to keep the mood bright. Sam was in charge of music and manned the record player, Sabine doted over the appetizers and insisted all the guests eat more. Hunter cheered when the two of them sloppily fed each other the first slice of their chocolate wedding cake.
They spun around the living room dancing with their friends to their favorite songs, taking turns twirling Mel around, her giggle better than the music- the champagne didn’t stop flowing (literally, it was secretly magical) and the furniture was covered in suit jackets and discarded high heels. There was candle wax on the floor and flower petals in their hair. Sebastian hated mess and disorganization but this felt perfect, felt like one of the parties Blaine had described from the old times, when witches would dance and sing and drink for the changing seasons.
Blaine’s POV:
Blaine’s body buzzed with an energy that could only be defined as cosmic as their wedding evening soared on. He was tipsy on champagne, laughter and stolen kisses. He’d already referred to Sebastian as his husband more times than was really necessary but he couldn't seem to help himself. It was made all the better by the twinkle in his husband's eye each time he turned to answer Blaine’s call which made Blaine want to keep doing it even more. He found it so hard to contain himself when Sebastian cheekily referred to Blaine as Mr. Blaine Smythe-Anderson while they were pressed close and slow dancing to a song that had lost its lyrics to the melody of Sebastian's voice whispering the words into Blaine’s ear. He swallowed hard, stupidly happy as he remixed an echo of the words to Sebastian by replacing his name with Seb’s and giggling like a kid and good gods they were the cheesiest they’d ever been before. He secretly loved it though and supposed it was warned after the chaos they’d been through.
He was about to make himself pull away so that he could surprise his man with one more thing before the party ended and he got to steal him away and into their bedroom for the night when, dancing there and looking over Seb’s shoulder he spotted a face that outside that he was sure wouldn't be able to make it. There, in their flowery courtyard, standing just out of the fairy light glow where only Blaine could see him stood Will Anderson. His dad was smiling at him, really smiling- blue eyes glittering with a happiness Blaine hadn't seen on him since before his mom died. Blaine’s breath hitched and before he could even smile back, Will was gone. He smiled to himself, opting to keep the secret for just him until later on when he could share it with Seb. Weeks later when the two of them would go through their wedding gifts Blaine would find Will’s gift among the guests as if he’d been there the whole time and perhaps he had been. Blaine hoped so.
He let himself sway with Sebastian for a few moments longer, just breathing in his husband and the revelry around him, his heart feeling light and fluttery with joy over the events of the day. He pulled back and tiptoed up to press a few soft, lingering kisses to Seb’s lips before guiding him to a chair he had placed next to the piano he’d moved into their living room. When he’d magicked it down here yesterday Sebastian had been curious but Blaine had jus told him that someone might want to play it. Nevermind that the someone happened to be him. He cleared his throat and the music faded away slowly by his own doing. He made sure to make the change subtle so their less “in the know” guest wouldn't wonder how he’d done it.
“I, um, I have another little surprise for my husband.”
He licked his lips as he looked around at everyone's faces. He suddenly felt so strangely nervous as he sat down at the bench. Blaine performed live all the time. He sang and played at the Snowed In, he sang and played at the river and in parks and on stages. That was the whole reason they’d even met in the first place. But looking up at everyone now, Blaine felt so overwhelmed that his nerves were starting to get the better of him and he wondered for a moment if playing, which was one of Blaine’s strongest magics, with people like Sabine and Thomas around would give him way. He couldn’t help but hum with his natural, Witchy energy when he played, but most people didn’t notice because they were strangers or they knew what to look for. People just knew they felt better after hearing Blaine play. But, one look at Sebastian’s eager, open and smiling face told him it was okay and he let his fingers hover over the keys. He kept his eyes up and trained on Seb as he spoke, not wanting to miss a moment.
“I’ve spent a long time trying to find the perfect song because of course I was going to sing to you, you know? I mean, it’s me. I wondered if maybe I should go over the top and happy, or slow and sappy. There were so many options I could have used to show you how I felt and then the other day while baking for the Snowed-In this little gem came on and it hit me, I thought it described exactly how I felt when I first met you, Sebastian. And I am so happy that you went against your own rules and reached out to me after that first night and didn’t let me spend forever wondering if you knew how very enchanted I was to meet you…”
Blaine grinned to himself at the silly romantics of it all and let his voice trail off as he pressed his fingers to the keys, shifting into a slow, stripped down piano version of Taylor Swift’s Enchanted. His voice rang sweet and soft yet seemed to fill the room as if that was all that there was in the world. He moved his way through the song, his eyes never leaving his husbands as the rest of the room faded until it was just the two of them.-
(There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
'Cross the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you…
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"...
…
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again…
…
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
…
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you…)
Blaine’s voice, though trained to do the exact opposite, cracked on his last note as emotions took over and what seemed silly a moment ago left him feeling raw and exposed in his feelings now. His vision blurred with tears as the room came back into view, everyone standing with blissful, softly magicked expressions on their faces- Blaine had tried to only channel his energies to Sebastian since he knew what to expect. Blaine’s vision tunneled only to him, Seb who looked just as blissful and a little in awe, his eyes bright and green in the candle and fairy light glow. Was his husband crying too? Blaine stood on jelly legs and closed the short distance between them, eyes full of happy tears and enveloped Sebastian safe and protected in his arms.
“I know it was cheesy, I couldn't help myself though. I just love you so fucking much, Seb.” The words were whispered against Seb’s jaw as Blaine tried and failed to reach for new kisses.
“I can’t wait to spend forever showing you how much.”
Sebastian’s POV:
Sebastian quirked his head to the side, a curious smile spread across his face as Blaine pulled away and announced that he had another surprise. Their guests turned to follow Blaine as he walked over to his instrument. He could feel everyone’s eyes switch over to watch him, to look for his reaction. All Seb could do was smile and watch his new husband speak, his fingers ghosting over the keys, itching to play.
As Blaine spoke, he could picture their first chance meeting perfectly. Well, chance probably wasn’t the right word. It was destiny. It was the fates plan all along. Seb thought about how B told him they were connected by an invisible string that tangled and wove around their lives until they finally came crashing into one another.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully as Blaine wove the song title into his introduction. The whole thing was just so perfectly Blaine and just so reminiscent of their beginning that he couldn’t stop grinning. Sebastian could feel the pang of happy tears threatening to fall as the other man kept his golden eyes locked on his. His body felt like it might float away with Blaine's magic music flowing through him.
When the song ended the two of them crashed into each other’s arms and held tight.
“That was perfect, B.”
He finally caught Blaine’s lips in a soft kiss, “I love you back. Can’t wait to hear you sing for the rest of my life.”
____
The party slowly wound down after midnight. Sabine urged them to not worry about the mess, said that she’d take care of it. Of course all Blaine needed to do was wave a hand and the whole place would look good as new but they had to agree and thank her to save face. Sebastian had a feeling that even if his mother knew for sure that B was a witch, she would still insist on cleaning. She shooed them away, towards the stairs and told them to go to bed.
“You two have a flight in only a few hours. Don’t worry about me or the pets. Go. Go!”
They knew that they had their flight to Norway and that they should probably sleep a little but, B was magical, after all. He could whip them something up to give them energy or even add more time to their day.
As soon as they were in the privacy of their own room, their hands were on each other. It felt like their first time, tripping over pant legs and awkwardly trying to take dress shoes off, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
Blaine’s POV:
As the song ended and Sebastian fell into his arms Blaine made sure to discreetly brush the little happy tears from Seb’s cheeks.
“Good because I have saved so many melodies just for you….”
His voice was a hushed and giddy whisper as he twirled them around the room while Sebastian whispered the sweetest things back to him. Blaine’s once aching and lonely world felt so full and new at that moment. Sure, the two of them had spent beautiful and terrifying years together already, but this felt different. This felt new and exciting and most of all- safe. He felt a security he hadn't felt since his mother had died. With Sebastian by his side and friends on their side he was ready to experience all that life had to offer now. He could hardly wait to start.
Guests slowly started to head home, all except Sabine who had sent her own husband on and was insisting she stay and pet sit for Ras and Freya even though they had told her they could make arrangements for them. She wouldn't hear anything else and wanted to clean their wedding mess and to sleep in their guest room. She wanted time with her grandpets. Between Sebastian and him though, they thought she might be using it as an excuse to have two weeks of alone time. She was already dressed for bed and curled up on their couch with Freya at her side and Ras at her feet. A book in her lap and a glass of wine in hand as she absently shooed them up the stairs- almost as if they weren’t even registering to her.. It made Blaine smile how comfortable she was.
Come morning Blaine would be whisking Sebastian away to chase the mystical northern lights in Norway and there they’d remain for the next two weeks, tucked away in a snowy village almost as old as magic. Seb wasn’t much for snow, but he loved Blaine and they already had a second summer honeymoon planned out for August in which Blaine told Sebastian he’d take him someplace hot where they could be next to naked together on sandy beaches again. But for now, the snow called and besides, Blaine had already promised to keep his husband warm with more than just magic.
His hands fumbled like the first night and strange nerves made his fingers quiver over Sebastian’s freckled skin when he pressed him down into their bed. Everything felt new and just like it always had to him- it was like he was seeing the two of them in a new light, yet nothing had changed at all. He was all energy and want and filled with unfamiliar clumsy giddiness. And yet each rise of Seb’s constellation of freckles under his fingertips was as familiar as his own skin. Each kiss, giggle, gasp and moan felt like home and he couldn’t get enough.
He couldn’t wait to spend the next two weeks alone with his person doing exactly this every chance they got under flickering aurora borealis greens and pinks. Aphrodite was going to be so pleased with them by the trip's end, he was sure of it. Furthermore, he couldn’t wait to spend forever knowing he’d finally get to freely live his life just loving Sebastian. He was getting everything he’d ever wanted.
/fin.
(The boys shall return with more stories in the future.)
#smythesm#andersoncharm#seblaine#seblaine para#seblaine witch rp#i was enchanted to meet you#seblaine wedding#para
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BL/QL Ask Game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst
Thank you to @nieves-de-sugui for the tag!! I love these games. I'll try to do my best!
Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL To be very honest I don't remember a lot of the soundtracks in BLs that I watch unless it really catches my attention. But, although this is not a track or a song, I will talk about weird sound effects or background scores that I remember. And if I'm not wrong it's probably, "Love by chance", for me or even Tharn type. I remember cringing to the point I couldn't carry on sometimes. Like at some parts, the score felt like it could be out of a cheap porno. I do not know if it's by design or if it just happened to be there. But Ugh.
Most cringe-inducing line (cute) I actually do not remember these much.
Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad) I agree with the little me's.
Most stupid decision made by a character It's been a while since I watched BLs and hence can't remember all the characters I internally screamed at, but there are a bunch of characters who made stupid decisions.
Worst plot line I'm sorry it's entire Tharn Type for me. I'm sure there are worse but what was the author even thinking? I'm sorry a TharnType hater here.
The most problematic show you've watched Also Tharn type. I cannot even begin to explain in words how much I hate that show. Like I have never rooted for two characters to not end up together as much as I have for Tharn and Type. Like, the dudes are incredibly toxic to each other and need loads of therapy before they even think of relationships. And the season two just made it even worse. They still need therapy. The author needs to rethink a load of things. Specially maybe at least do some research on CSA and how that impacts a person and then maybe write about it, instead of using it as a plot line. Ugh, that made me so mad.
A show people love but you find bad uhhhhh, I'm not too sure, but Cutie pie? I don't hate it but I don't think it's too good either. I just found it incredibly boring. It had a good start but man I couldn't keep up. It just kept dragging to no end. It was wild to see how many people enjoyed it.
A show people find bad but you will defend I agree with Utsukushii Kare.
A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it I can't think of any.
A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated Can't think of any either
A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny Can't think of any xD
A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character Can't think of any either xD
A bad show that you would still recommend I agree with My Day. It was hilarious
The character that ruined a show the most Thua from the Eclipse. The show was going great until the writer did what they did with Thua and he still got to face absolutely zero consequences for that.
Most awful character that you hated Thua from The Eclipse. I'm sorry I don't get how people defend him, he's awful.
Most awful character that you loved Agree with Aoey from Lovely writer
A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like Not a huge fan of Kawi from Be My Favorite. But I don't hate him.
A hero that should have been a villain I can't think of any
A morally bad character you're into Not sure
A morally bad character you're not into and you wish people would stop being into Agree with Boston. I haven't watched Only Friends yet as I'm waiting for it to finish airing because I'm incapable of waiting a whole week for an episode to be out. But I'm keeping track of the storyline out of morbid curiosity. And yeah, Boston, I'm surprised people are even into him.
The show that disappointed you the most Cutie Pie and A Boss and a babe. Both started out incredibly promising but fizzled out as they came to an end. Both had similar problems. They both dragged out and I lost interest towards the end.
The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons Tharn type and What the duck. I mostly sat through Tharn Type because it dealt with topics that were personal to me but ended up absolutely pissed off because of it. I watched What the duck just to see how much worse it could get xD
This was a fun game! We should now do the same for the good BL's!
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Orion Blakewood (28) was born in Kismet Harbor, Oregon. He works as a bookstore clerk at Uptown Books. they have been in kismet harbor for two years. - TW: Death, Homelessness, drugs, alcohol and mental illness, imbalance of power, abuse.
Basic Information
Full Name: Orion Apollo Blakely
Nickname(s): Ori
Age: 28
Date of Birth: April 3rd 1995
Hometown: New York
Gender: Cis Male
Pronouns: He/Him
Marital status: Single.
Children: None
Orientation: Biromantic/Asexual
Occupation: Uptown Book Clerk
Length of time in Kismet Harbor: Two Years
Language(s) Spoken: English
Face Claim: Liam Hemsworth
Personality
Positive Traits: loyal, kind, forgiving
Negative Traits: quiet, shy and reserve
Goals/Desires: Find a place they belong.
Fears: Being lost and having nothing
Favorite scent/flavor : Honey, Marshmallows, Watermelon
Hobbies: painting
Health
Mental Disorders: Social Anxiety
Sleeping Habits: Decent '
Eating Habits: Once to twice a day (if he does not forget)
Addictions: Recovering from Drugs
Alcohol Use: Socially
About
Orion was born with stars in the eyes. He saw the world with so much beauty and light. Despite growing up in the darkness. His heart was warm and big. Liam was born to Troy and Sophia. Sophia was a kind and sweet woman who saw the good in people. She believed that everyone had goodness in them. Tory knew that and took advantage of that and her money. Sophia had fallen in love with Troy and ended up getting pregnant with Orion who ended up inheriting his mother’s kindness, hope, and love. Orion’s mother ended up passing away due to complications after he was born. When Orion was born, he was put into his father’s custody, his grandfather Sebastian Charles Blakewood tried his best to get custody but was unsuccessful. Tory moved Orion to New York, stopping all contact with his mother’s family.
Tory blamed Orion for his wife death and because he believed that his ticket to a rich life was gone. He never loved Sophia but only used Sophia for her money and the funny thing was that she did not have access to it due to special agreement in her trust. Growing up Orion was hurt and abused by his father, plus his with his father’s drinking and drug problem it was a miracle that he survived. Orion learned from an early age just how cold and cruel the world could be, he also knew that people were selfish, but he still refused to believe that. He still believed that there was goodness and warmth just like there was coldness and selfishness. Orion grew up being timid, due to his father’s abuse and being pulled at school Orion was someone who kept to himself and tried his best to stay small.
From an early age Orion started working to pay the bills. After school he would work long shifts, doing his homework during work as much as he could. He would always come home to a drunk father who was either passed out or with a random woman. Orion was a smart kid; he was kind and because of that he was liked by some people but sometimes his kindness often got him hurt and bullied by others. Orion often went to bed hungry since there was never any food because all the money he went to bills or his father used it from drugs and alcohol.
There is a saying that the apple does not fall far from the tree, and one would guess that was true. Orion was stained by his father genes as much as he tried, he ended up developing a drug problem and social anxiety after his father married an abusive woman who hated him. Drugs were the only thing that could help him survive and it was his only escape. Orion finally escaped when he got accepted to a university in Boston.
After graduation, Orion packed very he had and left for Boston. Orion was homeless for the first two months before getting a job at a café. It was where he met Lucy Melton. Lucy Melton could see Orion’s kind nature, his kind heart and so she decided to take advantage of that. He ended up being in a toxic relationship he could not get off, and he could not say. As a result, she used her connection to get him a scholarship. Paid him well for being her guest at events and other services. Also paying him to keep things a secret. Orion graduated from college, but Lucy husband ended up finding out about her relationship with Orion. This spread around her circle, and this led to Orion being found by a Private Investigator who was hired by Sophia’s estate to find Orion.
Orion used his chance to move away from Boston and he moved to Kismet Harbor after finding being in contact with grandfather. He did not know what was going to happen when he arrived in town, but he was welcomed with open arms and loved. Orion did not know this time of love existed and he was happy to be loved and cared for by a family. His uncles and aunts also welcomed him too into the family. Orion has been in town for two years, finally settled and found his feet.
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Go Home
Jack Nelson x wife reader
Summary: Jack has brought his wife across the Atlantic with him to do business with Thomas Shelby and Oswald Mosley, but he is rarely around and you begin to wonder if you've been forgotten. You confront him when he finally returns to you.
Author’s Note: Inspired by my conversation with @retromafia about Jack. (Thank you for getting me thinking about this!) Also, Mad Men quote thrown in because it fits Jack’s persona.
Warnings: alcohol dependency, toxic relationship, language, S6 spoilers? maybe
Jack came back to the luxurious suite he had rented for you both, dropping his hat on the front table as he entered. He called for you, expecting you to greet him dressed to the nines. This was what you did at home, so why not here?
You didn’t answer right away as you were soaking in the tub and were numb to most stimulus due to your inebriation. And if you had heard him, why would you jump to be at his beck and call? He hadn’t been back to the hotel room since he deposited you there two weeks ago. He called you on the telephone occasionally suggesting you go shopping or see the sights, but you didn’t feel like doing either. He had abandoned you in a foreign country and you were hurt and angry, especially after he had spent most of the voyage over locked away with his mistress. You didn’t know why he bothered to bring you at all.
Jack noted the bucket of melting ice and empty gin bottle when he arrived. You hadn’t thought to send it away because you didn’t expect Jack to return anytime soon. Normally, you would have hidden the evidence better. You couldn’t help yourself though, the booze was the only way to pass the time. Since you had arrived in England, all you seemed to do was drink and sleep. How this had become your life, you weren’t sure. All you knew was you needed the alcohol simply to survive.
Jack eventually found you in the bathroom, your head dropped to your shoulder as though unconcious. “Christ Almighty, y/n, you look like shit. How drunk are you?” He asked knowing your weakness better than you thought.
Squinting at the overhead light, you raised your head slowly and locked eyes with your husband.
“What the fuck do you care?” you mumbled. “Where have you been?” You would have never been so bold sober, but drunk you were invincible to Jack’s taunts. It was no wonder you found yourself in this state so often. He did love to humiliate you.
“Y/n, I’ve just gotten in from a week of important meetings and I’m tired,” Jack said rubbing his forehead. You just stared up at him, holding his gaze. “You expect me to get up from a table full of MPs who have the ear of Winston fucking Churchill to come babysit you?” he said gesturing with his arm, voice growing louder.
You were slowly breaking down. Jack was everything to you, but he didn’t return your love. You had known that from the moment you began dating. It had been suggested by your father, head of a Boston crime family who was also his boss at the time. Jack wanted to rise quickly from the rank of soldier and you were just a stepping stone. Nevertheless, you had tried hard to please him, hoping he would one day return your affection.
You sat up in the tub pulling your knees into your chest. Becoming emotional, you took a shaky breath before trying to explain what you were going through. You implored softly, “Jack, you’ve been away so long. You just stuck me here in this hotel in a country where I don’t know anyone. What do you expect me to do?” Your eyes welled with tears, not wanting your husband to leave you again. You were so lonely. You didn’t want to irritate him when he was trying to accomplish important business but he hadn’t invited you to a single dinner.
At home you were used to being wined and dined with important people. Jack beamed with pride when you were on his arm. Or did you imagine it? Your physical beauty was the only thing he ever complimented you on because you tried your best to be what he wanted. You took days to choose the right outfit for events and always had your hair and nails done. You might have passed muster in Boston, but maybe England was different with all their fancy lords and ladies, you thought.
Your mind wandered, thinking of him sat at a table with his mistress. Was she so much better? Being Catholic you weren't allowed to divorce so you had to live with the sting of his infidelity daily. God, how you wanted one more drink.
You raised from the tub and Jack wrapped you in a thick, white towel. Sloshing water over the floor in your haste, he shouted, “Jesus, watch my shoes!”
Of course he would be more worried about his expensive shoes than you, you thought. It was just more proof of how little he thought of you.
You crossed to the bedroom where your dressing gown lay. You pulled the silk over your shoulders and turned back to Jack. He was wiping water off his shoes.
“Jack, what’s my role here?” you asked wanting to know the truth.
Jack crossed the room to pick up your hand and kiss it. He could be so charming when he wanted to be. Reaching out to cradle your face in his large palm, he smiled at you in a pitying way. “You’re a house cat. You are very important and have very little to do.” So that was it. He wanted to keep you like a pet. With a sick feeling building in your stomach, you goaded him.
“Why do you keep me around anyway, Jack? Because I know about your past as a hitman? You don't want anyone knowing about that now that you rub elbows with the president, huh?," you sneered, alcohol fueling your disobedience.
“You dare mention that to anyone and you’ll end up at the bottom of the river. You know I can do it, doll,” Jack threatened you.
“You wouldn’t,” you sneer at him.
“Wouldn’t I though? You forget your place, y/n. Your father is dead now and your family holds no influence anymore,” Jack reminded you.
You couldn’t believe he was dismissing you so quickly after all your years together. Didn’t your loyalty in that time mean anything to him? You decided that he must not care so you decided to test him.
“Fine, why don’t you just send me home, then?” you asked flippantly. You didn’t even know what you were saying anymore, the buzz from the gin clouding your thinking.
“Alright, listen sweetheart, I’ve tried to be patient with you. You know I’m here on important business for the president,” Jack said lowering his voice. “But if you don’t want to be here, I’ll send you home tomorrow.”
You recoiled at the thought of being separated. Thinking quickly, you replied, “No, of course, I’ll stay, darling. Perhaps I just got overwhelmed by this gloomy weather.”
“No, y/n, I don’t know what I was thinking bringing you here. I’ll book you passage back and you can stay with your mother. She’ll like that.” He said a gleeful tone in his voice. Was he so happy to be rid of you? you wondered.
Crossing to the door, he looked back at you and said, “Why couldn’t you just do as you were fucking told, y/n?” The disappointment in his voice was more than you could stand.
“Please don’t leave again, Jack. We can work this out,” you said pushing your robe off your shoulders suggestively as a last effort to entice him to stay. You knew he would go to his mistress if you couldn't keep him there.
“Just go home,” he said flatly and slammed the door.
You were left to crumble on the floor. When you finally picked yourself up you phoned downstairs for another bottle of gin.
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@retromafia
#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders imagine#Jack nelson#Jack Nelson x reader#Peaky blinders season 6 spoilers
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We are not just friends —22
Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she’s brown.)
Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.
Series masterlist
Chris was sleeping when his phone began ringing on the nightstand, it was Sofia.
"Hey, Sof. Everything okay?" He asked, checking the time It was about 2 am.
"Hi, yeah—you were sleeping, were you?" She asked, feeling a tad sad about waking him up.
"Yeah, it's okay though, Don't worry about it." He said rubbing his eyes and turned around to lay on his side."What's up?"
"Oh, I just wanted to," She sighs over the phone. "Just, I'm sorry about yesterday—
"Sofi, it's okay—
"Let me, okay?" She interrupted him and went on. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made out with that guy-" She breathed in. "It was Ryan's home, I disrespected you in front of your friends, Scott. I acted like a damn mess. I shouldn't have come up to you at the party or your house, I'm so sorry Chris." She lamented over the phone and Chris was the one taking a deep breath.
"I think we both acted like fools last night, I said things that I shouldn't have said to you. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. God, I'm an asshole—" He groaned. "At Ryan's, at my house, that was just me trying to get a reaction out of you. I should be calling you to apologize."
Sofia chuckle and he heard her sniffle. "It's okay, are you mad at me?"
"No, there's no way that I'll be mad at you. Even if I was, it usually never lasts long." Chris smiles and she does too. "Are you mad at me?"
"Maybe a little," She quickly answered. "But I think I'm mostly jealous,"
"Jealous of who?" Chris asked, not catching what she meant.
"You know who," She whispered and Chris swore she could picture her shrugging and pouting, which made him smile a bit.
"Sorry about that, I wasn't purposefully trying to," He explained. "As I said, I was trying to get out a reaction."
She hummed about his response. "Well, you did. I wanted to slap the hair of your head."
Chris laughed, so did her. "That was hilarious,"
"Yeah, I get really funny when I'm drunk." Sofia rolled her eyes at her and stood up from the sofa. "Anyways, it's kinda late—"
"Yeah…" Chris agreed and bit his finger, he didn't particularly want her to hang up.
"Oh, uhm… Your mom called,"
"Did she?" Chris frowned sitting up on the bed, intrigued.
"Yeap, I'm teaching her and Scott to make Argentinian empanadas. On Friday…"
"That's nice, am I invited?," He smiled and Sofia laughed.
"It's your house, dude."
"Come on," He laughed again. "You want me there?"
Sofia kept quiet for a little while. "Of course I want you there."
—
"So, what happened?" Amanda asked as Sofia groaned beside her, they were walking around the block of Mandy's suburban house.
"I got drunk, we made out—God," Sofia said, feeling embarrassed. "we made each other jealous and then laughed about it last night on the phone."
"You had sex?"
"No, but we slept together and I was a bitch when I woke up."
"As usual, you never were a morning person." Amanda smiled as Sofia grabbed her arm and wrapped it around hers. "You can't keep going like this with him, Sof. You know that, don't you?"
"I know," She scratched her head and sighed deeply. "We stretched it too long, but I love him and I told him that."
"Do you?"
"Yeah, and I took it back—kinda,"
"You're such a bitch," Amanda pinches her on her arm, and Sofia squeaks.
"I never told anyone that I love them,"
"Not even Tiffany?"
"I thought that I loved her, but I know now that I never did. It was all manipulation and downright toxic shit around her narcissistic ass. God, if I was fucked up before Tiffany. She ruined relationships for me,"
"I know,"
"That's why I can't trust Chris because every time we broke up he's off with one of his exes. Tiffany did the same but with random girls not to the same extent as her." Sofia explained. "He goes off to LA, forget all about me here and suddenly when he's in Boston I'm all we ever wanted. I don't know, I—"
"Chris it's nothing like Tiffany, Sofia. Come on," Amanda told her. "And you guys broke up two times, one you broke up with him through text and you kept talking for a bit. You two got back together and he left you—
"He went back to Jenny both times, I didn't even have sex with anyone besides him since we started this."
"You were on a break."
"It doesn't matter and you sound like Ross Geller and he's the worst," Sofia said. "And he said he loves me, you don't go back with your ex if you love someone else." She almost whispered and looked at her friend. "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"
"I'm always on your side, that's why I'm telling you this. Chris isn't perfect, he made mistakes but he never mistreated you, he never lied either."
"I know that I know…" Sofia nodded a few times as she watched the sun on the clear sky, closing her eyes. "Why is it so complicated?"
—
"How come you don't know how to drive?" Scott asked Sofia and she laughed. They were at his mother's kitchen, chopping some vegetables and chatting, waiting for Lisa to come back from the supermarket.
"Never owned a car before, I didn't see the point of learning and Uber exists now," She laughed and shrugged. "Besides your brother was my personal chauffeur every time he's in town." Sofia sasses him and Scott let out the loudest laugh because it was true.
"And yet, he says that hates driving around,"
"Oh yes, but he loved speeding and scaring the shit out of me," She laughed now and sighed. "And he just laughs grabbing his left titty… Or mine." Scott was screaming when Lisa and Chris walked in carrying a lot of bags.
"What are you two laughing about?" Lisa asked, smiling as Scott and Sofia shared a look and laughed again.
"What did you tell him?," Chris smiled and pointed a finger at Sofia, making them laugh again "Or what did you tell her?" He asked pointing the same finger but now at Scott.
"Nothing Mom, Apparently your son doesn't hate driving around that much," Scott shrugged and Sofia laughed.
"I hate driving around, what are you talking about?" Chris smiled, already knowing where that was coming from.
"Yeah, not for her," Scott said and Chris laughed as he unpacked the grocery from the bags and put it on the counter.
"Of course no, I love her and she used to let me touch her boob—" Chris explained and Sofia choked and Scott let out a screen mixed with laughter.
"Christofer!," Lisa laughed as she threw a whole package of toilet paper at him and they all laughed.
"Ma!" He shouted and laughed.
Sofía couldn't help but think that she loves this, moments like this. She loves them, she loves them all.
—
"Isn't this your wildest fantasy?," Scott asked his brother, as they sneakily watched their mother and Sofia cooking, laughing and day drinking wine.
"Shut up," Chris nudged him off, he was trying to hear what they were talking about. "This is wrong, isn't it?"
"Ah, yes," Scott quickly said and shook his head. "Are you trying to win her back?"
"Yes, I love her. I just wanna be with her,"
"Then go, be with her—be her friend again, Sofia is half way there men. She loves you, she really does."
"You talked to her?" Chris asked.
"I'm telling you nothing, that's between us." Scott said and Chris gave him a stern look.
"Yeah, but she's my girl—what she said?, does she love me back?, does she want me back?," Chris quickly tried to pry information out of his younger brother. Scott as a true friend, kept his mouth shut.
"I won't tell you shit."
"If you don't tell me, when we have another joint interview imma tell you crap yourself in the car." Chris muttered and Scott gasped.
"You wouldn't!,"
"Oh, brother. You wait," Chris said, shaking his head. Fast forward, he did talk about it on national television.
"What are you two whispering about, we can hear your cackling from here!" Lisa shouted as she nudged Sofia, making her laugh.
The brothers walked through the kitchen door, Scott umbothered and Chris was pretending to be unbothered, he might be an actor but his mother saw right through him, he was anxious.
Sofía smiled at him and he returned the smile back, hands on his pockets, looking adorable.
"Can we help?," Chris asked, walking up to her side. Sofia was putting some empanadas on a tray and placing them on the oven.
"We are mostly done," She answered looking around, the kitchen was a mess. "You guys could help clean."
"Ah,yes. I have this thing—ma, I need to talk to you." Scott said pointing out away from the kitchen and Lisa quickly followed.
"I'll be right back, honey" Lisa said to Sofia wiping her hands on a towel. "You help her," She said to Chris.
"Of course." Chris said, quickly putting himself to gather all the dirty things and place them on the sink. "You okay?" He asked, she seemed quiet as she started to do the dishes.
"Yeah, yeah—it's just," She said and looked at him, Chris was concerned because of the last time that they were together in this very same house. They broke up. "I talk with Lisa about what happen last time I was here,"
"Yeah, I told her something about that." Chris said, thinking that he fucked up on telling his mother for a second.
"I know, it's alright." She said and looked down. "She got it, what I feel at that time." Sofia went quiet for a moment and looked at Chris. "I wish I had talked to her that time, you know? Maybe we wouldn't be in this position right now."
"You think That?," He asked, wiping his hands. Eyes focused on her, Sofia nodded a few times as she rinsed a few plates.
"I don't know, maybe—if we ever talked about all the shit we have to talk about." She laughed and Chris snorted.
"So let's talk about it,"
"Right here?," She asked sarcastically. "in your mother's kitchen. Sure,"
"It doesn't have to be here, but I wanna have that talk. I want to sort things out between us," Chris said looking at her, honestly in his voice and Sofia didn't know what to do.
"Chris… I, I don't know. It's been months, there is so much crap between us." Sofia said playing with the towel and looking down.
"I don't want you out of my life, Sofia." Chris said and she looked at him. "I would hate that, I'll regret it all my life."
"I don't want that, I would hate it too." She whispered and turned around to rest her back on the counter and let out a sigh. "I miss you. Not gonna lie about that."
"I miss you too, all the time." He whispered and got close enough to cup her face as she leaned in his touch, closing her eyes. Chris took a deep breath and Sofia wrapped her arms around her torso, holding him tight, burning her face in his chest.
Chris kissed the top of her head and hummed, only for her to hear. "I love you."
"I know," She whispered and looked up, pouting with her eyes glossy.
"sweetheart," Chris said, kissing her face as she smiled at the touch, a sweet moment interrupted by a timer ringing to take out the food of the oven.
#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x reader#chris evans x y/n#chris evans x female reader#chris evans x poc!reader#chris evans x latina!#chris evans imagine#chris evans x you#chris evans x ofc
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The Next Karate Kid - A Probably Very Opinionated Commentary by Yours Truly
I really am trying to go into this with an open mind; let’s see how this goes.
Starting off with a military band? K sure, you do you sweetie, and I don’t hate it yet so that’s a positive
Aha, a military REUNION, I see. And look at Miyagi with his medal!! Sweet!
So I think if I remember from reading the plot on wikipedia that Miyagi new this guy who was married to the woman he just said hello to
Y’all they got Miyagi’s name wrong. His first name is Nariyoshi not Kesuke. That is his middle name. Although in saying that, I feel like that was more or less revealed in Cobra Kai so idk, anyway, for future reference, Miyagi’s first name is Nariyoshi
Also Louisa Pierce? I assume grandmother of Julie? That would make sense
Ooh we’re in Boston for this, and look at that big white house
Yes, Louisa is grandmother, oh and hello Julie!
Julie is unhappy, a little moody, sweetie are you okay?
Alright so Julie’s an orphan! Why does Miyagi keep picking up either somewhat or completely orphaned children?? I mean, I guess that’s good but also, why?
Ooh yay Miyagi advice about losing parents and grief!
Alright so now Louisa’s gonna fuck off to California while Miyagi takes care of the child
Said child who has now snuck into some place - OH THAT”S RIGHT THE SCHOOL AND THE BIRD
Yes I remember this from wikipedia plot
I like birdy, birdy is nice, and yes Julie talk to birdy, birdy is unjudgemental friend
Now time for the Animal Studies me to take over, that wing is NOT bandaged securly at all. Wing bandages should be wrapped around the wing and on the body, to keep the damaged wing still, thank you very much
Police have come! Julie gonna get arrested, maybe? Unless girl escapes, although that’s evading police then, and now she threw a torch, that’s attempted assault. Idk what it’s like in the USA, but in my state (Queensland, AUS) that’s a $5,500 fine and 50 days in jail (evasion), and a $5,338 - $8,007 fine and 6 - 12 months in jail (police assault, depends on severity)
Have fun in prison, Julie! Oop, nevermind she’s home again
Anyway, I wonder what Daniel’s doing at this time. Wiki says Julie was born in 1977, which is a whole ten years after Daniel, and considering she’s in high school I’d say she’s about 16/17 in this movie, which brings us to like 1993/1994. Perhaps this was around the time he met Amanda, maybe even started dating her? They got married in 1998 (I believe), so it would make sense for that to happen
Bonding moment for Louisa and Julie? No, nevermind
Miyagi’s happy! Love that! He’s going to make special birthday dinner!
Straight of the bat though like the dynamics are so different. Like the moment Daniel ever so much as raises his voice at Miyagi, the dude’s a little disheartened whereas Julie talks shit here and Miyagi’s like “haha, you’re funny, anyway, let’s talk about Japanese cuisine, yes?”
Okay but I LOVE the fucking ‘sayonara’ and dissapointed headshake like, man, Miyagi, legend
This school’s nothing compared to West Valley imo
Alos that little gang? Those coordinated outfits? Do y’all not have a personality? Feel like the Cobras get a win on being comfortable with their own skin whilst also maintaining such a well-formed group
You can see I’m biased, and I’ll probably remain biased, because, two seconds into seeing this Boston group and I’m already dissappointed by the lack of personality. Again, two seconds of Cobras and y’all know you’re in for a ride, and a good one at that
I like the little garden corner that Julie’s at it’s very nice and peaceful
Back to the group, they look like real dickheads. Also, Ned? Shit name for a ‘bad boy’. Also, please stop trying to coerce Julie
I’ve seen this fucker for, what, a minute, if that? And I absolutely hate everything about him. I also don’t like how he sorta just, enters?? Like, at least with the Cobras we knew what their intentions were right off the bat. Here, well, what does Ned want Julie for? Why does he want her with him and his friends? Like, please establish that before anything else
Also why he standing like a Roblox character
The Alpha League? Really? Y’all really tryna be cool with that aren’t ya? Do I smell some toxic masculinity? I think I do?
WHY DOES THAT HIGH SCHOOL DUDE LOOK LIKE HE’S 30 DUDE
Ew I hate that school bell
Please get out of the girl’s bathroom sir
Not the fucking wing bandage again, jesus christ. And shot in the wing?? Y’all really gotta have that shit strapped then, STOP LETTING THE BIRD MOVE HER WING THAT IS GOING TO DAMAGE IT MORE
“I’ll call Dominos Pizza and have them deliver 48 pizzas to your house in the middle of the night” ma’am that is a dream come true, first of all, and second of all, please work on your threats, thank you
Okay but is this military training or phys ed??
Miyagi looks so nice in his checkered shirt! Anyway, I swear that’s like the only thing I love about this movie, Mr Miyagi that is
Teacher just slapped a kid and choked him, alrighty then
Oop and here comes Miyagi, defending kids since 1984!!
Love that. “Boy, you okay?” like just the delivery of this line it’s so neutral I love it
Ah yes, threatening a bastard with a story about a bull, the best
Honestly stan how passive-aggressive Miyagi is at any given time
Yeah okay but honestly it would be better for that bird to be taken away considering that god awful bandaging job
“It’s just a car” EXCUSE YOU JULIE, as a car person myself I take PERSONAL offence to that. That’s not just a car, that’s his child, his other half, his soulmate, his everything, thank you very much
That’s right tell her off for saying that, good lad
On a sidenote; my video quality is shit, like super shit, because I’m streaming on Netflix and there’s a few other people in the house using internet so like, :(
“For a while he was sending money and then one day he just stopped” ah yes, every child of divorced parents can relate to this statement very well
i’m sorry but the music is so cheesy
anyway, i was gonna say that this movie lacks something, and i remembered what it is, and that is love. Like with KK1, 2, and 3, you can tell a lot of love and heart and soul went into making those movies (maybe not as much with 2 and 3, but it was still there and in good amounts). Meanwhile, this just feels like a cashgrab (which it is, and a very failed one at that)
Like, when will people learn that well-crafted media will get you better reviews/more money/whatever?
I hate this fucking background music so much jesus christ please kill it
Please tell someone about the hawk i am worried for its health
The fact that Miyagi has lived with Daniel so long to a point where he’s forgotten he has to actually knock on doors (because you bet your ass Daniel was and still is the type of person who really just doesn’t give a single fuck about who sees him doing what)
This poor man tbh. So ashamed of himself
FUCKING I WAS RIGHT I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT WHOLE SHIT ABOUT MIYAGI AND DANIEL NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT SEEING EACH OTHER DO WHATEVER AND NOW MIYAGI’S JUST OUTRIGHT CONFIRMED THAT
“Boy is easier” 100% I will agree, hence the reason I’d like sons in the future. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like at least 1 daughter as well but holy hell are females complicated (and I should know because I am one)
“Don’t order me around” sweetie, he isn’t ordering you, he’s making a helpful suggestion. Please stop the Miyagi slander, my man does NOT deserve this treatment
Miyagi, love you bb, but please don’t waste your advice on Julie at the moment
Speaking of, I greatly dislike Julie, but you know why that is? Because she’s really not been fleshed out as a charater, unlike the others we see in the KKU. Like her one redeeming quality is that she looks after a bird, but even that isn’t redeeming to me because she isn’t caring for it properly, like please take it to a fucking veterinarian
I feel like I’d enjoy Julie more if she was actually fleshed out but like, no, no, she’s just a whole “I’m an orphan so I’m always angsty grr” character and I just - I’m disappointed
Same goes for the other characters; again, the only thing/person I love about this movie so far is Miyagi, and with the way it’s been in these first 25 minutes, I doubt that’ll change
Yeah no I really fucking hate Julie. “You can’t even speak English” she says, even though she has understood every single word Miyagi has said thus far
Ah yes because people can definitely jump on cars and cars can definitely go unnoticed for such a long period of time in a quiet neighbourhood
I honestly feel like giving up on this movie like it’s so bad
But I want to see more Miyagi so 😬
No offence to Hilary Swank but her line delivery could do a bit more work during the ‘emotional scen’ with her and Miyagi
And again, music, hate it
I am literally willing to turn this movie off even if it means I don’t get to see more Miyagi content
Like I can not express my displeasure for this movie enough
Yes, Miyagi, same, I hate the 12am rock concert in Julie’s bedroom to. Like please, gurl, some of us have sleep schedules
Okay so now Julie’s worried about her appearance?? Y’all just made my hatred for her character rise again. When was she ever worried about that? imo this is just put in there to make people remember that she’s still “girl uwu 😙✌”
Haha, yes, pay Miyagi with the homework that’s right
Bet he did that with Daniel after the tournament like “you do homework, I teach karate”
“Boys easier” AGAIN I AGREE SO MUCH MIYAGI
Okay so I’ve sat through 33 minutes of this bullshit and I am going to quit for today. I’m sorry to anyone that does like this movie, but like I really don’t, it sucks in so many ways. Words cannot describe the sheer amount of dissapointment I have for this. Like, it could have been good! The idea is solid and the base of the characters is somewhat okay! And yet they made this shit instead of something actually worthwhile!
I will continue tomorrow, but for now I just need a break from this before I hit something.
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