#the best boooooooooy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

campwillowpeak · 2 years

Note

Hello gender neutral shawty, as someone who hasn't written in years, the other writer anon has inspired me and I wanted to try my hand at writing the moment Harper first saw MC at the grocery store, plant a bomb in my house if it's bad 😔

The whole... "event" couldn't have lasted more than 3 minutes really, yet the memory was still vivid even a year later.

It was a quick grocery run, a spur of the moment decision to pick up a few snacks. The week had been rather shitty after all, you felt you deserved a treat (or five).

You were debating pros and cons of Super Hot Chip and Kind Of Hot Chip, or maybe just regular Chip? Before you could just say "fuck it" and grab them all, it happened.

The sound could best be described like a mini car crash. Complete with the sound of the metal cart screeching against tile and T-boning a display of various baked breads. You spun around just in time to watch the bread explosion rain on the floor, a plastic container of croissants sadly spilling in front of your very feet.

You briefly mourned the loss, it was next on your list.

Your eyes next darted back to the cart, following the trail of spilled pasta boxes and milk to the perpetrator (or victim?) Of the crash. Well, it had to be him, he was the only one sprawled out on the floor like a dead Family Guy character.

His head lifted before you could blink and although you couldn't see his full face under the mop of black hair with white streaks; you got a glimpse of flushed cheeks as he faced the crime scene of his making.

Your heart panged with sympathy then, the shock overpowered by pity for this large dude.

"H-Hey are y-" Your voice caught in your throat as he whipped his head to face you with the same energy as a frenzied animal. His eyes were wide, wild, watery, pupils blown and eyebrows shot to his hairline. His lips tightly pinched together in a frown. The blush on his face worsened, blending in with the tomatoes scattered a few feet ahead of him. Overall he looked mortified, the type of expression that said, "This is going to haunt me every night when I try to fall asleep".

Your gaze softened, damn did you know that feeling. You wanted to comfort him, but he scrambled to his feet, long legs wobbling like a new born calf. A cracked, "Sorry" left his lips (Don't apologize to me man, apologize to the workers) and he immediately broke into a sprint towards the exit. You watched in awe as his large frame got smaller and smaller, clumsily dodging fellow shoppers in his escape.

And so there you were (and a few other Bystanders) the debris laid in front of you like the calm after a storm. A few of your fellow witnesses had already begun to shuffle out, show's over, you guess. You didn't even notice the employee next to you until they let out a heaving sigh. You glanced over at them, they were probably a few years older than you but as you watched their eyes glaze over at the mess, they looked ancient. Like an old God that had seen too many wars.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit"

NOOOOOOOOO MY POOR CLUMSY BOOOOOOOOOY AAAAHHHHHH

Fr tho I loved this so much XDD

Sometimes I feel bad for making him so awkward, but then I remember its funny |D

#10/10 anon~#cwp #camp willowpeak #vn #visual novel #cwp harper #yandere #male yandere

70 notes · View notes

senseibalance · 1 year

Text

#✧ ––– ❛ out of character【 closing down the dojo. 】

1 note · View note

sleepingintheflowers · 2 years

Text

I’m not a native New Englander so I don’t drink iced coffee year-round but boooooooooy has iced coffee season ever started for me!

I make my own coffee because I’m cheap af. Drinking my homemade iced latte out of my travel mug. Living my best life.

#natalie’s exciting life

0 notes

shrapnelsong · 4 years

Note

“I’m not apologizing for what I said to that asshole… He was saying terrible things about you.” [ Sawamura ] /post/157958330873

@museguided [ protective starters ]

Sawamura-kun had no trouble in loudly speaking his mind to the rest of the club, oftentimes completely disregarding the hierarchy of it. But to see him seriously and angrily arguing with a random upperclassman was quite jarring. Until she recognized the upperclassman.

For all that he was tall and handsome, he couldn’t hide his bad personality to save his life. He’d very arrogantly asked her out a few days back to have some fun, which she’d politely and clearly declined - much to his surprise, apparently. And just by the offended look on his face, learning he’d been spinning a story of his own making had come as no surprise.

It wasn’t her first time dealing with a disgruntled boy spreading lies, unfortunately. She knew how to maneuver rumors and whispers, as those usually naturally came with being the new student every few years. Pulling Sawamura-kun away from the situation before he could get himself in trouble, she took the time to secretly spare their upperclassman a practiced cold stare that looked very much out of place in her face.

Once they were far away enough, she turned her attention to her underclassman, who still seemed quite angry, and who immediately blurted out he didn’t regret it as soon as he felt her eyes on him. Alice couldn’t help but chuckle, a shy smile tipping her lips.

“Thank you for defending my honor, Sawamura-kun.” She’d never had someone standing up for her like that before.

#museguided #;sawachan #[ protective ]#like a writing desk #- LIL LION BOOOOOOOOOY <33333 #- we love him ; U ;#- best gremlin #- i almost threw in a hug here ngl #- but alice needs to contain herself #- she can't go hugging the lil lion willy nilly #- or else she'll start rumors herself skdjfhskjdf #a song of asks #manager struggles

2 notes · View notes

anarchyhorde · 4 years

Text

@h-toga asked: * throws glitter everywhere while singing happy birthday to the BEST BOY

🌌 || birthday asks

finally! some good birthday treatment. that glitter is going to be hell to get rid of but WHO CARES. “It’s my fucking birthday. We should PARTY. Wasn’t really feeling like doing much.

#htoga #BEST BOOOOOOOOOY #<3 <3 #🌌|| jin's birthday #🌌|| pop shop {answered asks}#🌌|| bend the nightmare; it controls you {twice}

2 notes · View notes

imaginewithtearose · 2 years

Note

hiiii! I saw your first matchup thing, can I request one too? with twst boys?

I'm a girl, 1,56 cm of height and I'm aquarius too lolololol my mbti is INFJ

my favorite things are write, eat chocolate and play video games, I also looooove to watch/read/play anything related to investigation/crime-solving

I'm a kind of person that loves to talk about literally anything! do you want to talk about TV series? sure! do you want to talk about food? omg yesyes! do you want to talk about how white is your wall? let's go then!!

I'm also very open to know new things and I like to listen to people rambling things they love! I always prioritize comfort above anything else so I always try to make sure that both the person and I are comfortable in any situation! but sometimes I can be very insecure, most of the time i dont demonstrate it but I'm scared of the person suddenly disliking me :( oh I and I can be VERY childish (bonus: uncle jokes because I like uncle jokes 😼) and VERY lazy too (I have a liiiiittle problem that I'm able to sleep the whole day aksnwissj someone help me)

sorry if it's too much info!!! feel free to ignore it <3

How can i ignore such ask?? Its not too much information, its the perfect amount! Love you! Thanks for being straight forward.

Lets ask the mirror who your perfect partner will be, tough i already have someone in mind~

Matchup loading. . .

Oh! The results are here, lets see...

The mirror matches you with...

Kalim Al-Asim!

So, you like to talk huh? You are very childish too? Well thats Kalim hobby! Kinda, he cannot shut up for once. You two instantly clicked when meeting for the first time, talking for hours and hours!

Jamil finally got a rest, he thanks you mentally for that T_T

You got kinda that mom vibe, actually, no, a big sister vibe, that Kalim loves. Trying new things with him will not be problem, not only on the money part, but also on the limits part!

He looooves doing lot of things, specially new ones! I guarantee that he will take you on a magic carpet ride on your first dates.

I can imagine you two trying every sport and every activity that his land and the NRC provides!

He invites you to the light music club, he wants you to see him play!! And hopes that you sing along to him

Kalim always falls into your uncle jokes, and always laugh of them!

"Hey Kalim this look like updog" "Whats updog?" And Jamil crying for hearing that joke AGAIN.

The "worst" part is when he says the same type of jokes to every member on scarabia and Jamil, like, 35 times a week. Everyone is obligated to laugh--

There was one time that he heard you liked crime solving, and was reading to go pay an investigator and a fake criminal to-

Jamil stopped him before it was too late. Baby sad :(

But he listens/sees crime investigations on youtube/spotify with you. Actually thats the only moment he stand still in one place and pays attention, also he ask questions VERY often while eating snacks.

I can imagine it, you two, on the floor of his room, sharing headphones, listening to a podcast of true crimes, while looking at the ceiling and eating some snacks that Jamil prepared. He stopped a minute just to ask about the murder weapon, and you explain it slowly, he lovingly gazing at your every movement and feeling like the happiest man in all of the world. He forgets about his question and your answer, but just sharing this moment with you is perfect for him.

Oh, so you need a lot of reaffirmation?? DONT WORRY HERE COMES KALIM SWEET BOOOOOOOOOY

His form of affirmation are gifts and physical affection! Cuddles you and gives you loooot of kisses. If you are not okay with this, worry not, since Kalim will give his best to give you reafirmattion words.

"Y/N, you are the prettiest girl out there!! How can i stop loving you?? Not only pretty, but funny, smart, and soo special! I will never see someone like i see you. Please, cheer up. Lets go to a ride on my magic carpet, Jamil will never know!!"

He is not lazy, so at first he panicked thinking that you were poisoned or that you had a condition that made you sleep. So when you wake up in the infirmary, with two doctors, professor Vargas, and Jamil consoling Kalim, you are VERY CONFUSED.

You explain to him that its only your way to be, that you enjoy napping and just doing nothing. His tears are wiped away with your hand as he nods in understanding.

This calms him, still, he sits at your side and naps with you, or does something while waiting for you to wake up!

Lazy dates with him are the best, enormous blanket forts, tons of pillows and plushies, and the comfiests beds. You can sleep for hours or just be lazy in there.

"Hey, hey Y/N, are you awake? Look at this, look, please look at this" Every hour if he is not asleep.

I think that, overall, besides the differences between you two, you do a perfect match. A cute pairing that will last until the river in Scarabia is dry, and with Kalim, he will never let it become dry!

Hope this answer pleases you! Here are some other options that i tought for your match: Cater Diamond, Leona Kingscholar, and Malleus Draconia.

#twisted wonderland matchup #twst matchup #twst x reader #Kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #kalim al asim imagines #twst #twst headcanons #twst x y/n

20 notes · View notes

ducktracy · 3 years

Text

188. porky’s poppa (1938)

release date: january 15th, 1938

series: looney tunes

director: bob clampett

starring: mel blanc (porky, porky’s poppa, narrator), bob clampett (duck)

it’s safe to say that 1938 was porky’s best year. speaking in terms of solo cartoons, that is. his cartoons were genuinely funny, stimulating, and he looked great appearance wise. 1939 the porky burnout started, and he was slowly reduced to a smiling stock character whose adversaries and costars were much more alive than he was.

as daffy (and later bugs) rose to popularity, porky slipped into the sidekick role, paired primarily with the duck. with that said, the porky/daffy cartoons are some of the funniest around, and i firmly believe the best cartoons for the both of them are the ones where they’re paired together—with a few exceptions, of course.

however, let’s not get ahead of ourselves: a great year of pig stardom awaits. porky’s father, who made a few appearances during the joe dougherty era, makes his final return. in a story that has loose similarities to the premise of porky’s railroad, porky struggles to convince his father that their cow, bessie, is a much better fit for the farm than the newfangled mechanical cow his father has his eyes on.

the introduction is one of the funniest aspects of the cartoon itself. a hand erases the title credits, scrawled on a blackboard, and fills in “PORKY’S POPPA... HAS A FARM”, mirroring the underscore of “old macdonald” (with substitute lyrics) below it.

a layout of the farm cuts to our pint-sized hero, grinning at the camera as the vocals sing “...and on this farm he had a pig: porky pig, you know.” bobe cannon animates porky struggling to sing along with the lyrics, his “oh buh-beh-boy!”s lagging with the beat. the music halts just in time for porky to pump his fists in frustration, not stuttering once as he grumbles “oh, skip it!”

repeatedly cutting back to the layout of the farm in conjunction with the lyrics is practically a gag within itself. the song grows increasingly absurd, with a goose honking horns, a cow showing off her legs as the vocals sing “with a little calf here, with a little calf there...”, struggling to keep up with the rapid pace of the song. bob clampett lends his own voice to a random duck (no relation to daffy!), following a hand pointing at certain areas of the farm and quacking (”with a little quack here, with a little quack there...”)

finally, the duck in his psuedo-donald duck voice instructs “EVERYBODY SING!”, complete with some fun and unique typography. the entire song falls to pieces--before, the cutting back to the farm’s layout added an incongruous feeling of calm to balance out the wacky antics of the animals and the song. now, everything happens at once. the duck zips across the screen in a quacking frenzy, the mother cow shows off her baby calves, thrusting them to the beat of the music, the goose is a one man band of assorted horns, etc. blissful chaos.

things slow down as we cut back to porky, who smugly whips out a phonograph behind his back. the record is just him saying “oh boy!”, playing correctly to the beat of the music. he’s got this song number figured out... or does he?

even technology can’t conceal his stutter. the record begins to skip, mimicking the sound of his stutter, and porky smashes the phonograph to pieces as he slams it against the ground. the wordless yet furious stare he gives the audience as the dying record croaks out a distorted “oooooooh..... boooooooooy....” is nothing short of priceless. though he didn’t say a word himself during this scene, his motives, thoughts, and emotions are clearly visible. you can FEEL his pride at his solution, as well of the subsequent fury of his solution blowing up in his face. a wonderful end to a hilarious song sequence.

“but on his farm, he has a mortgage... woe, oh woe, oh woe!” the score turns in to a mournful, minor key dirge, with anthropomorphic mortgage papers posing proudly on the farm. some very clever posing and metaphorical play as we fade to porky’s dad, moping around on the farm, the mortgage aligning with his silhouette and becoming a physical weight on his back. more playing with typography as the narrator reads aloud the words on the screen:

this is a parody of the march of time, a radio program who would often announce the death of a notorious person by declaring “and so, today, as it must to all men, death came to [name], [age].” even without the context, the gag is rather amusing, bringing a different change of pace to the cartoon with the addition of a narrator and the typography. knowing the source of the gag makes it hit just the right spot.

porky’s dad mutters about ruination, how he has no milk and no money, etc. mel blanc does a fine job of mimicking joe dougherty, maintaining the stutter and the low voice--in the dougherty cartoons, porky’s father was just dougherty’s natural speaking voice, whereas porky was sped up considerably. you can hear both at once here for comparison.

we pan over to the cause of one of these stresses: their cow, bessie, has been quarantined (how timely!) for “hoof ‘n mouth trouble”, a play on hand-foot-and-mouth disease. clampett opts to take things just a step further--we truck inside the stall to see bessie posing for the camera, grinning with her foot INSIDE her mouth, batting her eyelashes and all. the “bull bontana” (bull montana) poster plastered inside of her stall is a clever touch.

after seeing that bessie’s production chart has dipped overwhelmingly into the negatives--a roll of paper unfurling at porky’s father’s feet, indicating just how poor the farm is doing--he places an “out of order” sign on the stall door.

suddenly, porky’s father grows aggravated. “i need to send you to the hamburger factory!” cue a close-up of bessie tearfully picturing her fate--a pile of burgers and hotdogs make up her figure. clampett would reprise this gag (albeit in a much more cruel manner) in porky’s last stand 2 years later, where daffy eagerly envisions a steaming hot hamburger in place of an innocent little calf.

this is the second cartoon to make an ACME reference, the first being buddy’s bug hunt back in 1935. porky’s father phones up ACME mail order company, asking for “one cow--airmail”. context clues are just as important to the gag than the reveal itself: porky, his father, and bessie all become alert to the sounds of an airplane making a cacophony overhead. suddenly, a package bursts through the barn ceiling, floating to the ground with a neatly tied parachute. the animation appears to be the work of john carey, from the tall, pill-shaped eyes to the slow, drawn out way that porky blinks.

norm mccabe takes over to animate the grand reveal. lots of wonderful little subtleties: porky and his father are timed slightly differently, giving them both a natural sense of interaction and movement. there’s a lovely little accent on porky’s father opening the package by pulling a string--he jerks his head up slightly as he plucks the string, allowing the audience to feel the physical impact and snap of the pluck. it’s subtle, but very well done.

instead of a flesh and blood cow, a mechanical hunk of metal slowly unfurls to life as the package opens. as porky’s father reads the label (The New 1938 CREAMLINED COW), porky himself objects to the new addition. “aww, eh-the-there ain’t no such animal!”

indeed there is: porky’s father loads a pile of hay into a chute, pressing down on the cow’s paintbrush tail. the cow pumps along to a brassy score of “old macdonald”, churning out milk from its metal udders, the milk pouring straight into an assembly line of bottles below. bob clampett’s puns are plentiful in this cartoon (notice how there’s no writer’s credit--he often said that he would write some of his earliest cartoons himself. i assume he wrote this one as well? i wonder how much input chuck jones had in the story?), but delivered nonchalantly, so they can actually be enjoyed. the cow caps the milk bottles by putting literal newsboy caps on top of the bottles, the paintbrush tail painting “cream paint” to the outside of the bottles and forming the illusion of cream. interesting business practices!

bobe cannon animates a delightful scene with porky. fun animation and fun dialogue make for a great combo. some very fluid, light, and fun animation of porky giving his pep talk as he hops around, swinging his arms, nonchalantly pushing his hat out of his face after getting so excited. “c’mon, eh-beh-beh-beh-bessie! we won’t let that old eh-neh-nuh-new fangled eh-ceh-co--heifer beat us. you just eat your uh-wuh-wee-weh-whea--eh-ha-hay, and show that eh-teh-eeh-eh-tin-can cow who can make the most...”

porky lowers bessie’s foot from her mouth by climbing on it, preparing to shovel a forkful of hay into her mouth, however, she shoves her foot right back in it, much to porky’s annoyance. “aww, every time you open your muh-mee-muh-me-eh-mou--kisser, ya put your eh-feh-eh-foot in it! eh-bee-bessie, you gotta eat! you eh-deh-dee-eh-don’t wanna be eh-seh-seeah-seeah-smothered in onions, eh-do ya?”

treg brown’s sound effects of doors creaking as her leg is lowered is the perfect touch to the gag. porky struggles to feed bessie, eventually getting stuck in her mouth himself as he attempts to hold both legs down to no avail. he frees himself, just in time to hatch an ingenious idea.

his plan works: porky places the entire pile of hay onto bessie’s legs, who swallows it up whole, her mouth comically huge as she attempts to swallow it. porky is overjoyed, clapping at her efforts before rushing off to give her some privacy.

instead of porky just milking her like a regular farmer, clampett pushes the entire scenario further. porky paces around in the manner of an expectant father, accompanied by a soft score of “lullaby on broadway”. the sound of a baby crying prompts porky to do a gorgeously animated head shake of surprise--bessie hands him a milk bottle, which porky carefully swaddles and places in a basket.

the charade continues, with clampett lulling us into a false sense of security with an already absurd gag. cue a gag that would have been incredibly risque in 1938: at about the fifth bottle, porky reaches out and finds that bessie hands him a bottle labeled “CHOC. MALT”, accompanied by an underscore of “i wish i was in dixie”. porky and bessie both grow bashful, but porky’s nonchalant whistling is cut to a half as bessie delivers yet another bottle. “gosh--eh-ceh-ceh-quin-eh-qui-eh--quart-tuplets!”

porky rushes over to his farther to share the good news. however, dad is too preoccupied with the fancy mechanics of the cow to pay bessie any mind. he shows porky a barrage of dairy-related puns churned out by the creamlined cow:

cottage cheese (cheese in the shapes of houses--and an outhouse for good measure--don the conveyer belt), limburger cheese (cheese slices with clothes pins pinned to their “noses” to ward off the stench), and swiss cheese (a cuckoo bird pops out of the cow’s mechanical side and sprays the cheese wheels with bullets, which turn into yodeling mouths). interestingly, mel’s voice for porky’s father changes in this scene--it’s still him, but the nasally undertones are absent. i wonder if he did this on a different day?

nevertheless, the staging of the next gag is genius. the majority of the screen is black, save for a small window revealing porky holding onto bessie’s udders. “c’mon, eh-beh-bessie! hurry eh... hurry eh... step on it!” the window expands to reveal bessie pouring a bucket of milk into a line of funnels (rather than udders), which are then evenly distributed to the bottles. “’ats a guh-geh-gee-eh-girl!”

mechanical cow seems to be doing just fine, plopping cherries on top of elaborate ice cream sundaes and milk shakes. the only fault in the system is the cow’s own personal whiskey bottle rolling down the assembly line, which it confiscates promptly.

porky, on the other hand, is making do. with an ice block on her head, bessie churns out ice cream cones to the best of her ability. as the cones grow smaller and smaller in size, porky orders her to eat more hay, which she happily does so.

now, it’s cow vs. cow. the mechanical cow opts to play some dirty tricks on bessie, pouring a jar of vanishing cream it produced onto the hay bessie is eating. and, thanks to the law of cartoon physics, the milk bottles she hands porky disappear by the minute. though the effect of the bottles disappearing may not seem like much today, for 1938 the ink and paint department did a wonderful job of demonstrating the illusion that the bottles suddenly disappeared.

with the rest of the hay now gone thanks to a hefty glob of vanishing cream, porky and bessie engage in a wild goose (cow?) chase to find more hay. the mechanical cow gobbles up every square inch of hay in sight--at one point, bessie heaves a dubious shrug to the audience. i love how they made her hooves look like hands, but still remain identifiable hooves. the scramble animation she does as she dashes out of frame (with porky clinging to her like a horse) is wonderfully done as well.

both porky and bessie and the creamlined cow exit the barn, chasing each other around the farm. the mechanical cow physically turns into a vacuum cleaner, threatening to suck up the last remaining pile of hay. in a gag that’s reminiscent of the harman-ising days (is it the inclusion of the outhouse?), the cow-turned-vacuum rushes into a shed filled to the brim with hay. the audience merely watches the shed itself shrink in size as the cow gobbles up all of the hay, the final result a puny little outhouse.

at last, the enemies reach a face-off. the last pile of hay--or, as porky puts it in his punny little way, “eh-thee-the-thee-that’s the last straw.” in a relatively tashlin-esque maneuver, clampett makes some fast cuts to heighten the suspense of the action. cut between porky and bessie to the mechanical cow to the pile of straw (facetiously labeled “MILK WEED”). the cuts grow quicker and quicker, the music crescendo-ing...

until BLAM! in a loose parallel to the finale of rover’s rival, everything explodes at once. nuts and bolts rain in the sky, as do neat little bundles of hay. however, clampett doesn’t allow the audience to rest just yet--with bessie nowhere in sight, the mechanical cow continues to charge forth, seeking refuge in a hay to release a humongous pile of milk bottles. so high, in fact, that the shed (and cow) are elevated several feet into the air. porky’s a goner.

porky’s father, who had been absent for the past few minutes, reappears to declare the tin-can cow a winner, much to porky’s visible dissatisfaction.

yet it’s not a clampett cartoon without a twist! bessie pokes her head out of the mechanical cow’s mouth, mooing the ever popular catchphrase from the ken murray show: “mmmmmmwooooooooooah, yeeeeaaaaaah!” porky gives a celebratory “oh, boy!” as we iris out--the goose and duck from earlier poke their heads into the scene just before the iris fully closes.

this is an early porky cartoon that’s just plain fun. bobe cannon’s animation of porky serves as one of the many highlights, from porky getting aggravated with his phonograph to his excited pep talk towards bessie. corny as the opening number is, it’s a lot of fun at the same time--the intensity in increasing chaos is a prevalent theme to clampett’s cartoons. just look at the climax/ending of baby bottleneck!

i don’t have many complaints towards this cartoon, if any at all. it’s not my favorite porky entry, sure, but it’s most certainly an enjoyable watch and one of his better cartoons of the ‘30s. the visual puns aren’t nearly as hamfisted as ben hardaway’s (as we’ll soon discover), making them more enjoyable than some of the jokes present in, say, daffy duck & egghead. regardless, there are a lot of unique gags, fun animation, and amusing dialogue to constitute a watch.

the cartoon is up on HBOmax, but you can also watch it here!

#lt #looney tunes #porky’s poppa #clampett #reviews #long post

27 notes · View notes

joshslater · 4 years

Text

Grindr Gold

This is a rewrite of Rozza’s rewrite of Tinder Gold. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

“Fuck, why don’t you guys respond!”, Tom moaned as he fell back into his bed. Another guy had just gone and ghosted him, the sixth one this week. Tom was pissed and confused as to why he was failing with so many guys. It was true that he didn’t have the looks. Average height, average hair, average face. A face dotted with acne, on top of his unremarkable body, pudgy from years of studying. He was smart, provably so, but also funny and kind. He hoped that would shine through in his bio. Tom went back to his phone and looked over it, and his pics. Maybe there was something he could tweak to make him more attractive. Or it could be a waste of time. All the guys wanted was cheap sex with the man of their dreams, and that was it.

Tom was about to let go of the phone when he saw a new banner at the bottom of the screen, advertising Grindr Gold. “Stop looking for the perfect match - become one!” It totally looked like a scam to Tom, but he had been so unlucky recently that he would consider anything. He tapped the banner, bringing up the purchase screen. It wasn’t very clear to him exactly what they provided for the hefty $250 a month. “Personalized profile to maximize your chance to strike gold.” Whatever. The first month was $10, and he could cancel at any point, according to the page. He could buy it, maybe get a few dates, and then keep the profile as is after cancelling.

He tapped his screen again to pay, ignored a mile of terms and conditions, and finalized his payment. He looked impatiently at the screen as nothing happened. Everything was the same. A scam after all. A few seconds later there was a knock on the door, giving Tom a jump scare. He got up to go and see who it was, still pissed about his lost $10. He opened the door and almost dropped his jaw on the floor. Outside the door was the most handsome twink he had ever seen, online as well as in the flesh. A shorter, younger boy with bronzed skin, blond hair in a quiff, sparkling green eyes, and just as sparkling, white smile. He was wearing gold shorts, trendy shoes, and nothing else, showing off the rest of his body. It was fit, without being muscular or overly cut, showing hints of definition and abs. His skin was beautifully, evenly tanned and smooth, and like the rest of him looked perfected with many products. His face had been cleansed of any impurities and facial hair, while his golden gelled up quiff was flanked by freshly buzzed sides. Tom’s brained blanked, partly because of the unexpected surprise visitor, partly because of this visitor in particular, and partly because the blood rushed into his quickly stiffening dick.

“Tom, I assume?” the twink queried.

Tom was speechless, struggling with where to look. When he looked at the face his eyes were drawn into the green eyes, and it felt rude and awkward to gaze into an unknown mans eyes like that. Anywhere else on the body was worse. Look at the nipples? The golden bulge?

“I am Grindr Gold, professional dater and dating expert, and I am here to assist you. May I come in?” Tom was struggling to comprehend that Grindr Gold wasn’t a software update, or a service feature, or even a scam, but a real, life something seemingly teleported to outside his door.

“Yeah... Yes! Yes, of course. Step right in.” Tom moved out of the way and waved towards the interior of the messy apartment. “Are you some kind of dating coach? Will you get me laid?”

“Of course! I am Grindr Gold, and I never disappoint.” Gold was slowly turning, taking in the sight of Tom’s small student apartment.

“Wait, your name is Grindr? No, nevermind. What’s first?”

“Take off your shirt and have a seat”, he motioned towards Tom’s study armchair. “We know exactly what everyone is looking for, what types get hookups, what the supply and demand is. I’m here to improve supply where it is needed the most. Firstly, no one wants another post-college graduate. There are plenty of them around. They want a freshly minted fuckboi."

What did he just say now? Did he just say fuckboi? No way Tom was going to be like one of those dumbasses, who just existed to get laid. But before he could object, Gold began waving his hands. Tom became dizzy and distorted as energy waves from Gold’s hands flew into him. His skin vibrated, turning back years. His fat mostly melted away, leaving a little around his stomach. The hair on his chest receded back into his skin, softening out his pecs. The hair on his legs thinned out as well, but remained spread out for his age. The lines and bags on his face, caused by all the stress of college, faded. His looks had gone from mid-twenties PhD student to a youthful 18 year old.

"What the fuck! This isn’t what I wanted! I look like a dumb teenager!”, Tom shouted in a decidedly younger voice, as he saw his reflection on his phone screen.

“Relax, this is just the first step to getting you laid. Your profile said you are just looking for a hookup, right?”

“Yeah, but not like...”

“I’m gonna do the best I can, making you the most sought after fuck for miles. Let me change your mind on this. If things don’t work out, we can always go for a different look. Now we gonna get you yeeted up…”

Without waiting for a response Gold started massaging Tom’s arms, infusing them with the same energy. Tom laid back as all he could do was relax in Gold’s hands. Gold moved his hands carefully across the entire surface of Tom’s skin, everywhere his hands went hair disappeared. After finishing with his arms, he moved to his chest and then finishing with his legs, removing any stray patches of hair. Once he was done, the only hair left was around his dick and his pits. Gold focused harder now, causing his hands to vibrate and made a second pass. This time as they swept across Tom’s body they instilled a golden tan with a touch of Italian olive as he rewrote his genetics. His hands swept through the mess of Tom’s hair, changing it into a light, crisp brown. Then he continued down, focusing on Tom’s face, cleansing it of impurities and perfecting his features. Tom’s nose and mouth shrunk, though his lips grew, and eyes turned brown. Gold poked Tom’s nipples causing them to darken and grow slightly. Golds hands then pushed the energy down Tom, doing unseen magic down his pants.

“Now, anyone can be young and pretty, but there are really only two sorts of people looking for a date around here. Alpha males, and those who wish they were. And there is one thing that get both of them going, that invites them to dominate.” Gold stepped back and framed his hands sideways as if to take an invisible picture. Then he quickly slammed his hands together. To Tom, it felt like crashing into a pool of water. All of a sudden he was being compressed. His height fell from 5′10 foot down to a more modest 5'6. His limbs crushed in on themselves to meet his new height. Feet and hands adjusting down as well. His size 10 feet shrank to a boyish 7.5. His loss of height and body hair made him look not just young, but cute. The kind of look that if he got angry people would find it adorable. How on earth was any of this going to get him laid? Gold smiled, sensing his skepticism.

“Patience fam, the best is on the way! I promised I would change your mind.” Gold took one hand and placed it on Tom’s temple and with the other grabbed his small package.

“Wait what are you…. ohhh…” Tom moaned as his muscles slacked and resistance faded. He could feel a strange hum in his mind and a stirring in his dick. The sensation scared him but it was also too pleasurable to fight. Tom’s hair began to change, his sides faded down so you could see his skin, while the hair on the top also shortened, before collecting into a cute ruffle. Tom’s pecs remained small but the remaining fat converted into muscle giving him a toned look. His arms swelled with strength and pudgy stomach shrank into a faint but hard six-pack. At the same time, his small dick began to grow, gaining inches. His facial features became more pointed, eyes darkening with hunger and lust in them, and his mouth curled into a pout smile, with his lips puffing up into a pseudo duck shape unless consciously pulled back.

Old Tom would be embarrassed at him now, but Tommy was swimming in horniness, as he began to lust for boys and sex. Any knowledge he had gained, and dreams of careers faded and were replaced with a desire for screwing every boy in town. Gold’s smile transformed into a grin.

“One last thing to make you a proper fuckboi!” Gold said as his energies forced themselves into Tommy one last time. Two shiny studs pierced his ears, glistening in the sunlight. A golden bracelet appeared on his left wrist. Tommy looked down, feeling his dick still growing and tingling, and saw Calvin Klein underwear peeking out from a pair of baller shorts, with slowly filling bulge.

“Ahhhhhhhh fuck boooooooooi!” Tommy screamed in his soft, boyish voice as he came, filling his underwear with boy cream. Posters of video games vanished, replaced by posters of boys bands, athletes and cars. His new idols and interests. His computer shrank and changed into a worn-out basketball and books evaporated, replaced with sports gear, outdoor equipment and Men’s Fitness magazines.

Having done the final touches on wardrobe, accessories and interior decoration, Gold turned to Tommy. “I have a new Grindr bio ready to go for you. Just need a new photo to update your profile with. You should take it with your shirt off. Do it somewhere public, like an elevator or shopping mall, so you look easy and cheap. It’s fucks you want after all, not a boyfriend.”

697 notes · View notes

torturedpoetemotions · 3 years

Text

The Long Road Home

I decided to put all my liveblogging for tonight in a single post instead of just splattering my thoughts all over tumblr. So.

First of all fuck whoever decided it was appropriate to put the SPN Musical version of Carry On Wayward Son at the start of this.

Oh come on they’re really gonna start us off with poor Mary on the ceiling?!

“Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

Also just. Fucking Kripke. Fucker. I love that little weirdo.

God they’re such BABIES in the first season. I say it every time. I will continue to say it forever. Season one Winchesters are babey.

“He became in a lot of ways their real father.” - Jim Beaver about Bobby. I’m CRYING ALREADY SHIT.

Does anyone else occasionally forget that the actual Bob Singer is not in fact a crusty old drunk who owns a junkyard? Because I’m continually surprised when I see him in like...cashmere sweaters and shit.

“You can have angels! Just make ‘em dicks.” Oh Kripke. Kripke Kripke Kripke.

Jared imitating Crowley is so fucking funny! xD

Yeah Castiel’s first scene in the show is always going to be the best fucking character introduction.

But if one more person uses the word “brother” to refer to him I’m literally going to flip a table.

Hey let’s relive the dumbfounded look on Dean’s face when he heard his dad say he was proud of him. Because that doesn’t hurt at all.

“And we don’t leave family behind.” Okay so definitely prove it please. You don’t leave family behind, right? And you just made a HUGE deal about how Cas became family, so DON’T LEAVE CAS BEHIND.

I don’t know if that editing is weird foreshadowing or cruelty and my emotions really can’t take much more I didn’t SLEEP last night.

Why does Sam sound weirdly turned on that Lucifer is on his way?

“Who says horror has to be dark?” Brad was ahead of his time. #Midsommar

Baaaaaaaby

Fucking Mark Pellegrino. He really is the only Lucifer. He’s just...too fucking good. He makes ultimate evil playful and it’s so fun.

Like okay. All these clips are just underscoring for me that NO MATTER WHAT...I’m glad it didn’t end with season 5. There was so much growth in the later seasons that we would never have gotten if we had that original ending.

Also unpopular opinion, but the original ending was hopeless and sad actually. Dean ends up losing his brother and his best friend and just goes off to live a “normal” life with a woman he barely knows? Sam ends up in hell for fighting destiny and doing the right thing? Castiel just leaves Dean and goes back to the angels? No thanks to all of that. That’s the exact kind of hopeless, pointless, sad ending we all gripe about now, though some of the Kripke Era Only people don’t seem to grasp that. And no, I don’t think Supernatural would have made much of a mark if it had ended there.

Jackie boooooooooy! My son.

Sam’s A+ parenting Skills (unironically). Dean’s A+ parenting Skills (thick with sarcasm).

Mary’s return was honestly one of the best things they ever did on this show fight me. Also Sam Smith with her sweet soft voice just fucking...punching the devil in the face.

Okay fuck John Winchester but also his FUCKING FACE when he hears Mary’s voice? Yeah here go the goddamn tears.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. “Lebanon” was not about redeeming John Winchester. It was about giving Sam and Dean some closure.

“Even when the story is written, you can write your own ending.” Okay but don’t make us do that please. We’re so tired.

God I literally feel nauseous this can’t be healthy.

If anyone is keeping count, I’m crying again. Like that’s time 2 or 3? And the actual episode isn’t even started yet?

Fuck. Here it goes. Here it goes. Here it goes. I’m not ready.

#supernatural #spn spoilers #spn series finale #the long road home #lizawords

1 note · View note

laurenkmyers · 4 years

Note

Ah, I'd love to read some JoeNicky fics!! I haven't watched EE in a few years and they changed the actor who played Ben right? Man, I have a lot of catching up to do, last time I saw him he was still pining after Johnny hahahah. As for bellarke - I'm such a loser but I still want my canon ugh. (Any list of ships you like is good for me, whatever feels more interesting to you ☺️)

The Joe x Nicky ao3 page has so many good fics.

OH boooooooooy are you behind. Yeah, they’ve changed actors again- but Max Bowden is by far the best Ben Mitchell we’ve had and his and Callum’s relationship is SO GOOD. Highly recommend tuning in for their story.

I will always be a massive fool for Bellarke. They own me. Have done since the beginning.

A list is what you want? A list is what you’ll get.

LGBTQ ships that I love and adore:

Lucas x Eliott (Skam France) Ian x Mickey (Shameless US) Isak x Even (Skam Norway- original show) Nomi x Amanita (Sense8) Lito x Hernando (Sense8- if you haven’t watched this show PLEASE DO) Waverly x Nicole (Wynonna Earp) Robbe x Sander (WTFOCK, think you’re already a fan of these belgium babies) Marti x Nico (Skam Italia) Agron x Nasir (Spartacus) Willow x Tara (BTVS) Michael x Alex (RMN) Alec x Magnus (Shadowhunters) David x Patrick (Schitts Creek) Sara x Ava (Legends of Tomorrow) Robert x Aaron (Emmerdale- their story is WILD) Deran x Adrian (Animal Kingdom) Zero x Jude (Hit the Floor) Justin x Brian (Queer As Folk US) Klaus x Dave (short lived, but good- The Umbrella Academy) Bea x Allie (Wentworth, also has a lesbian charac called Franky you’ll love) Omar x Ander (Elite) Victor x Benji (Love, Victor) Anissa x Grace (Black Lightning) Buck x Eddie (911- not canon) TK x Carlos (911 Lone Star) Nico x Karolina (Runaways)

#lgbtq ships #that i enjoy #or have enjoyed over the years #i'm sure there's more i've missed off #but these are the ones that spring to mind #Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

winemum-ignis · 7 years

Photo

So my lock screen collage was much better well received than I was expecting so, since so many of you liked it and since it is a certain Mr. Scientia’s birthday ‘today’ (an hour off in my timezone but its the 7th elsewhere in the world rn so who the fuck cares ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I am sharing my non-lock screened version for all of y’all because everyone needs a beautiful phone to wake up to in the morning.

Tumblr is probably going to bollocks up the picture so here is an imgur link to it. It was made for iPhone 7 plus resolution (1080x1920) so it should scale to any other size nicely.

Since it didn’t take half as long as I expected I am also tempted to do one for my ipad so they can match once I have had the chance to get onto my platstation and rummage for even more screenshots for the bigger size (ahahaha i say this like I might not have enough ahahahahahaha I have enough to sink the titanic all over again....) If I do you can be sure I will share that as well o/

#happy birthday to the best boooooooooy #ffxv #ff15 #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ffxv screenshots #ignis #ignis stupeo scientia #ignis scientia #ffxv ignis #wmisshots

395 notes · View notes

kimjoongs-main · 4 years

Text

kenma best boooooooooy🥺

#forgot how much i loved him #dianne’s musings

1 note · View note

sunsetsinhoenn · 5 years

Note

ooo how about Okuyasu for the character rate? ✨

ooooooooooooo

Okuyasu

#chatter #i love okuyasu!!! the boy!!

4 notes · View notes

treason-and-plot · 5 years

Text

REPLIES TO CRYSTAL AND GEORGIE

@miraakles

Finding friendship in a strip club… and they romance is dead! No.. wait…. wrong quote. Er… Anyway! I love that Georgina literally has not filter at this point and she’s all about getting her man. You’ve got this. Everything isn’t screwed up!! Don’t forget to punch him, or maybe wack him with a bat! It’s not kidnapping, you’re simply helping him see reason!

LMBOOO yeah let’s just give Vinnie a huge egg on his forehead to add to the rest of his scars🤣🤣🤣

@mochasims

awww @ crys and georgina becoming friends. *waiting for vinnie*

Friends might be pushing it but it’s nice to see Georgina’s horizons expanding.

@ktarsims

XD Bunty would blow a gasket if she could see this. Or possibly have a heart attack… if someone didn’t hand her a drink first to calm her down.

Very prescient words!!🤣🤣🤣

@sweetnovember77

Hm. Maybe, Crystal isn’t so bad after all. She seems to be an active listener.

Crystal is a bit of a romantic under that hard exterior😉 And she, like all the girls, are very fond of Vinnie and want him to be happy.

@kscriba

@sweetnovember77 she’s well practiced after all her sessions with roy lol

@sweetnovember77

@kscriba That’s a good point 😂

@simnels

I JUST REALIZED I MADE SOME OF THE POSTERS IN THE BACKGROUND AND I WAS LIKE WAAAAAIT A MINUTE!

DOOOOOOD I can’t believe you never received any notifications for all the wcifs I’ve received for those over the years, omg!!!😲😁😙

@wannabecatwriter

Crystal is constantly playing the therapist for this family…

IKR??

@shhhushhh

“Shouldn’t you be giving lap dances?” 🤬🤬🤬 Right now I wish Vinnie wasn’t so nice and intelligent. At this moment I wish he is the person to tell her “Go f* yourself, Georgina!”. By the way, has someone turned on the hot tub already? Ladies? Carla! Where is my girl Carla??

Georgina is still a product of her upbringing but at least she is willing (finally) to step out of her comfort zone.🙂 And Carla has an hour booking with Irish Joe, you know the one, he likes to sing OHHHHH DANNNNNYYYYY BOOOOOOOOOY at the top of his lungs when he’s climaxing😆

@mysimsloveaffair

Pete the Pisser for 2 hours!! Sounds horrendous =/

@mochasims

i had a feeling crystal would end up being her champion. =)

@dandylion240

Go Crystal….although I don’t think I’d want to be Roy once Crystal gets to him

Roy should be very scared😁

@wannabecatwriter

Crystal to the rescue!

@wannabecatwriter

And I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side, remembering how Leo fared.

@sweetnovember77

Lol. I would imagine that Crystal is butthurt because Roy did not pay attention to what she had to say.

Crystal is furious because Roy lied to her- he let her think that he talked Georgina into letting Vinnie go back to work at the Pony. And on top of that Crystal gave him the white llamas for free as an expression of her gratitude. She would be absolutely livid that Roy took advantage of her.

@skyburned

Well, if anyone can corner him and make him sit there and be quiet until Georgina has had a chance to beg, it’s Crystal. I hope she nails him to the floor. Give us a happy ending!

@winifredwoogie

Go Crystal!! Oh boy, to be the fly on the wall when Crystal talks with Roy after hearing the real story regarding Vinnie :-D.

@miraakles

OMG?! Crystal coming through?! Is she about to be my … *counts through the characters* … Well.. she’ll be somewhere in that favorite list if she saves my ship!

@shhhushhh

Good thing Crystal didn’t go doing lap dances 😑 Also I would never stop being amazed by the professionalism in the Pink Pony on each and every level. Including even that one time they blew up Roy’s car and and put even an “ram” like him in the right place 😁 The place always reminds me of a strip club we visited in Providence, RI, back in the days and had the awesomest time.

The best thing about working in such places (apart from the money) is the camaraderie between the girls. There really is a great sense of sisterhood.

@pinkfuzzasims

After being off Tumblr for so long I’ve been catching up on your story…. I just got to this post and was sad when I realized I caught up 😂 the pain of binge reading I NEED MORE! Love your sims as always 💙

@karnzter

Been offsite for long as well. Go Crystal the wing-gal!!

It’s so awesome to see you in my notifications again!!!!

@gaiahypothesims

See Crystal. The stripper with the heart of gold.

@aminovas

heart of gold! heart of gold! love this sequence (love that archetype!)

It’s such a cliché….

#replies

38 notes · View notes