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#the angst is coming and I'm not ready for it
roosterforme · 2 days
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Aim for the Sky Part 8 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley has to preserve your dignity in the most awkward way possible. He's ready for a relaxing few days off at Christmas with your parents, but their visit gets off to a rocky start. But by the end of their trip, Bradley is once again feeling as hopeful for the future as you are. 
Warnings: Fluff, smut, titty fuck, swearing, angst, pregnancy
Length: 5300 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
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It might have been amusing if it was happening to someone else, but it definitely wasn't. It was happening to him. Bradley looked at the time as he backed his Bronco out of the driveway at top speed and took off down the street. You and he should have been leaving now to get to the airport on time to pick up your parents, but that was just going to have to wait.
"Jesus Christ," he growled, barely pausing at the stop sign after he made sure nobody was coming. Bradley Ross was still packing up his truck not five minutes ago, so he couldn't have gone far. Through polite conversation, Bradley knew that the contractor lived a little further south in Coronado, so hopefully he could catch up to him quickly.
Bradley loved you with his whole being. You were the smartest, most capable person he had ever met. You also had pregnancy hormones on the brain, and if you weren't currently forgetting full conversations you'd had, you were falling asleep on a whim. Getting dirty photos from you was always a welcome distraction, but right now, you needed to focus a little extra on everything. Apparently having two Bradleys around was not the best idea.
"Yes," Bradley gasped, hitting the accelerator even though he was approaching a red light. The white Ross Construction pickup truck was stopped and waiting, and he cut into the other lane to pull up right next to it. "Shit," he groaned, realizing he couldn't roll his passenger side window down from the driver's seat. He started honking his horn before the light turned green, and the other Bradley turned to look at him in surprise, but his expression immediately melted into apprehension. It was obvious he'd seen the pictures. "God damn it."
After gesturing wildly for him to pull over, the light turned green, and Bradley was relieved when the truck moved through the intersection and then stopped in front of the first house. He pulled the Bronco over in front of the truck and hopped out as soon as he killed the engine. This was about to be one of the most awkward conversations of his life, and he'd had his share.
"Hey," he said as calmly as he could as the other man put his window down. Then he cleared his throat and sighed. "You may have received a text message from my wife in error."
He was met with bright red cheeks and guilt ridden eyes, and Bradley felt his hands curl into fists at his sides as his nostrils flared. Fucking hell, this man had seen your tits.
"Uh, I'm assuming that the mix-up occurred because of our names?" he asked. Bradley could see his phone sitting in the cupholder, and he wanted to snap it in half. 
"That's right," he replied through gritted teeth. How the fuck was he supposed to proceed here? He needed to make sure your dignity was as intact as it could possibly be at this point, and if he had to get a little aggressive, he would. "Mind letting me see your phone?"
The other man reached for it slowly, and Bradley watched him unlock it as he said, "I only saw the message preview when I started driving."
"But you saw it," Bradley snapped, rubbing his temple as he held out his other hand palm side up.
"Yeah."
Once the phone was in his hand, he confirmed that the message was still unread. At least there was that. While Bradley Ross may have seen your glorious breasts for himself, at least he'd only have his memory to rely on from here on out. He took his time and deleted each of the three photos. Then he emptied out the trash folder. Then he double checked that there was no trace of the photos anywhere before he deleted your contact information from the man's address book. After one more quick sweep to be sure his wife's tits were nowhere to be found, he handed the phone back to the abashed looking man.
He wasn't going to apologize for chasing him down, and he wasn't going to threaten him for something you started. Instead Bradley merely muttered, "Happy holidays," before returning to his Bronco and sliding into the seat.
He didn't realize how much his heart was pounding until he was sitting there in the silent interior, watching the Ross Construction truck pull away. He dug your phone out of his pocket while he started to calm down. When he entered your pass code, he saw that you had a new text from Cam but nothing else. Out of extreme caution, he blocked the other Bradley's phone number before deleting it from your address book, and then he started up the engine.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with her?" he muttered to himself as he pulled a u-turn and headed home. He thought about spanking you, but he was certain you'd just enjoy yourself. Frankly he would too. He wanted to lecture you about always checking the recipient before trying to send him something dirty, but he knew you probably already felt badly enough. When he pulled into the driveway, he saw you peering out the front window, waiting for him. Then he walked inside with his fingers wrapped around both phones and found you standing in the middle of the living room.
"What happened?" you asked, worrying your hands in front of your pregnant belly. Your eyes were wide, and you bit down on your lip, clearly beyond concerned to hear what he had to say. All thoughts of scolding you fled his mind, and when he opened his arms, you rushed toward him. 
"I took care of it. Deleted everything from his phone."
"On my god," you moaned, your belly pressing against him as you sighed in relief. He wrapped his arms around you as you settled against his chest and looked up at him. "Did he see the photos?" you asked softly. When he nodded, you winced. "I'm so sorry, Roo."
Tears filled your eyes as he sighed and looked around the room. The house was spotlessly clean, and the mostly undecorated Christmas tree was standing tall in the corner by the window. Everything was ready for your parents to get here, but neither of you made a move to leave. 
"I'm not mad at you, Sweetheart. It's not like you sent them to him on purpose," he whispered.
"I would never," you replied, voice filled with conviction. "These are all yours. And soon to be Rosie's." You patted your chest, and Bradley smiled.
"She's the only one I'm dividing my time with." He kissed your forehead. "We should leave to get your parents before it gets any later."
You agreed, and Bradley got you all buckled into the red Bronco. Of course there was a ton of traffic now that it was the peak of rush hour, and shortly into the drive you told him, "My dad texted me. They already landed."
"They're just going to have to wait," he replied, trying his best to merge onto the highway.
You were silent for a few minutes while you messed around on your phone, but finally you asked him, "Did you at least like the pictures?"
Bradley glanced at you from the corner of his eyes. "Of your tits?"
"Yeah," you whispered. "You didn't say anything about them."
He was practically ramming into other cars to try to find a spot in the parking garage at San Diego International after chasing down another man and forcefully demanding he hand over his phone, and you were honestly worried about whether or not he liked the way your boobs looked in the photos. He barked out a laugh as he swung the Bronco into a spot and parked. 
"What?" you asked, frowning at him. "You've been very vocal about them!"
He gestured for your phone, and you handed it to him before crossing your arms over your chest. Even though the two of you were late, he took a moment to really look at the photos in question again. He liked the first one where it looked like you were about to spill out of your bra. The second was just as nice since you were showing off your breasts and your wedding rings. And the third one was the main event, literally a vivid depiction of where he currently most enjoyed letting himself unload after he fucked you.
"Yes, Baby Girl. I like the pictures. In fact, I love them." He texted them from your phone to his, making sure he had the correct name selected before he gave your phone back. "And I'd love to see them in person when we get home later if you're in the mood."
You rolled your eyes and squeezed your thighs together. "I'll almost certainly be in the mood," you informed him as you opened your door.
"Oh, one more thing," he said, and you glanced back at him as he smirked. "How about you let me be the resident photographer for the time being?"
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Your mom and dad looked annoyed when the two of you showed up late to retrieve them from the airport after weeks of assuring them that you'd pick them up without issue, but as soon as they saw your belly, they calmed down.
"Look at you!" your mom gushed, rubbing her hands together before placing them on your bump. "How's our sweet granddaughter?" she asked as Bradley started to collect their luggage.
"Very active," you told her with a smile. "She'll start doing somersaults if you wait there long enough."
"Really?" your dad chimed in, coming to stand with your mom after helping Bradley. That's how you ended up with four hands plastered to your midsection while your husband stood behind you and kissed your ear.
"Want to tell them her name?" he whispered, his lips brushing your skin. You had to assume he wasn't too upset about Bradley Ross and the boob photos if he was still just as loving as always. 
Of course your mom heard every word he said and practically shouted, "You picked out a name?"
You nodded as your parents both stared at you. "Rose."
"Rose!" your mom gasped like she'd just won the lottery.
"That's pretty," your dad mused, and that's when the baby started thumping in what seemed like delight. "I feel her!"
"So do I! Hi, Rose! It's your Nana!"
You desperately wanted to go home and eat dinner, but you stood there until your parents wore themselves out asking questions and trying to feel the baby move. Eventually Bradley said, "You must be tired and hungry. There's food at the house, and the attic renovation is done and ready for you."
"Perfect," your mom replied. "You can just tuck us away up there, and we'll be out of your hair."
"That's the idea," Bradley muttered, and you elbowed him hard in the ribs as he led the way outside, pulling the massive suitcase behind him. "Watch it, Sweetheart, or I'll tell them why we were late."
"You wouldn't," you whispered.
He just shrugged. "You think I care if they know you tried to send me dirty pictures? Really, it just shows how much you love me."
You rolled your eyes as he smirked while your parents chattered away about how crazy it was to spend Christmas in California for the first time ever.
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Bradley thought your parents would be exhausted and in bed as soon as he started cleaning up from dinner, but your dad headed for the nursery to inspect the new furniture which was still in the boxes, and your mom started unpacking your childhood Christmas ornaments from her carry on bag.
"Oh!" you gushed as she handed some to you. "I forgot about these! Bradley, look! It's my handprint from when I was four!"
You were holding up a seriously hideous green and purple Play Doh blog that Tramp was trying to lick, but he couldn't help but smile. "Maybe we can make one with Rosie each year," he mused as you hung it on the tree.
"We have to," you told him as you unwrapped another homemade ornament. You got lost in conversation with your mom, so he wandered to the nursery to see what your dad was up to.
"Hey," he said from the doorway with a little chuckle. Your dad was sitting on the floor with all of the crib parts laid out around him.
"Just checking to make sure everything's here," he muttered, counting a handful of screws. "We're probably going to want to get started on this project first thing in the morning so we have time to get it all done."
"Sure," Bradley agreed. "Thanks again for agreeing to help me with it."
"Happy to help," he murmured, adjusting his reading glasses to peruse the instruction booklet. "Happy to help." Your dad stood and rubbed his back before following Bradley out of the room. They found you and your mom out on the back patio with the lights on, looking at the massive playset.
"It's so cute!" your mom said.
"It's over the top," you responded. "Bradley just had to have it."
"He's going to be a good dad. Give him a break. I can't believe he built this thing by himself."
"Jake helped him," you told her.
"Jake helped a tiny bit," Bradley announced, and you turned to look at him with a little smile. "You know what would be fun?"
"Hmm?" you hummed, and your parents both turned to look at him.
"We could put strings of lights on the playset."
"That's a great idea, Roo!" The three of you were immediately discussing whether the lights should be white or colorful, and you were clapping your hands in excitement. Having your parents out for a California Christmas, especially with the Nugget coming soon, just felt right. The tree he picked out already looked better covered in your ornaments, and your dad was going to help him knock some of his projects off his to-do list. 
He didn't feel awkward in his own skin like he did on occasion when he missed his mom so much it hurt. She would have loved every second of your pregnancy. She would have been on the phone every night, bugging the hell out of him, but Bradley would do anything to have her back. When you slipped your hand into his, he pulled you closer and said, "I'm happy your parents are here."
You kissed him right in front of them and wrapped your hand around the back of his neck. He vaguely heard your parents say they were going to head up to bed and to have a good night which was convenient, because after everything that happened today, he was ready to be alone with you.
"Come on," he whispered when you broke the kiss. "I want to snuggle with you and Rosie." He called Tramp inside, and you led him toward the bedroom with your hand held loosely in his. But you didn't head for the bathroom or climb into bed. Instead you pulled his shirt off and tugged down his gym shorts and underwear before pointing to the bed.
"Have a seat," you told him, his cock shamelessly responding to you, already bobbing excitedly in anticipation of what was to come. Wordlessly, he took a seat at the edge of the bed and watched you pull your shirt over your belly and all the way off. His lips and hands were on your bump, and when you pulled your sports bra over your head, his mouth found your breasts. 
"I've got a little treat for you, Roo," you told him, brushing your fingers through his hair as he pulled your nipple between his lips. You moaned softly and added, "For being the best husband earlier and chasing down the man I accidentally texted dirty pictures to."
He grunted and grinned as he let your nipple pop free. "This is all mine," he said as he gestured at your body, and you nodded vigorously. 
"Absolutely." When you took a step toward your nightstand, he whined softly, but when you returned to him with a small bottle of lube in your hand, his eyes lit up.
"What are you doing, Baby Girl?" His voice sounded excited even to his own ears, and he had to reach down to stroke himself as you drizzled the clear lube onto your own breasts before tossing the bottle aside. "What are you gonna let me do to you?"
He swallowed hard as you ran both of your hands slowly along your tits until they were glistening. "I'm going to do all the work," you told him. "Just relax." When you went to kneel in front of him, Bradley helped you get down with his hands on your biceps. And then you took his cock between your lips as your silky, slick fingers glided across his balls.
"Fuck," he sighed, enjoying the sight of your shiny breasts, and a second later his length was sandwiched beautifully between them. "Oh my god."
You smiled up at him as you squeezed your tits together until he was grunting loudly, and then you moved your body slowly up and down. He watched his own cock disappear between your breasts and then reappear over and over. He was mesmerized by the smooth glide and the immaculate view he had of your face and chest. 
"Feel good?" you asked, and he nodded like an idiot as he ran his thumb along the perfect curve of your cheek. "You can touch me, Daddy."
"Oh hell." He let his thumb drift down to your nipple as you held him in place and fucked him with your tits until his balls were tight and his leg was shaking. You started kissing at his tip each time it was near your lips, and he had to grab at the bedding to keep himself in check.
After a few more slow movements, you reached for his hands and placed them where yours had been, on the outside of each breast. He squeezed himself in there tight as you said, "Go for it, Roo." Once you were holding onto his thighs to keep yourself steady, Bradley fucked your tits and played with your nipples until he was whining your name. 
He knew the attic renovation had been a great idea, but he was surprised it was paying off so soon. Your body felt magical as he went a little faster, and then he was spurting his cum everywhere. Your chin, lips and chest were painted white with his seed, and it dripped down to your belly as your tongue darted out to taste him. 
"Holy shit," he panted, looking everywhere for his phone. "I need a picture of this."
You reached into the pocket of his shorts which were on the floor and handed it to him. He took pictures of the pretty mess he made, including one where you were rubbing his cum along your skin. The swell of your belly was beautiful with his baby inside, and Bradley moaned as you licked the bead of cum from the tip of his cock. 
"You ready to snuggle?" you asked him, turning to kiss the inside of his thigh.
"Yeah." He really felt like he had it all.
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In the days leading up to Christmas, Bradley and your dad managed to get the furniture built for the nursery with time to spare. "Can you pick a paint color, Sweetheart?" Bradley asked you on the twenty-third, holding up your final two favorites. "Your dad and I can probably get the room painted tomorrow if we go to the store today."
You looked back and forth between the sky blue sample and the rosy pink sample. "I love them both," you whispered, chewing on the tip of your thumb, indecision washing over you.
Bradley turned them around to look at them and seemed to have the same issue. "I have an idea. Will you let me make the decision?"
"Absolutely," you sighed, pleased that you didn't have to pull that trigger. "Whatever you want."
They sent you out for lunch with your mom and Nat on Christmas eve, which actually turned into a stop at the mall with all of the last minute shoppers. You didn't need to buy anything else, but you helped Nat pick out a few things, and your mom seemed amused. 
When you got home, all of the windows were open because the house smelled like paint, and your dad and Bradley were assembling something on the living room floor that you didn't know had even been purchased. "What's that?" you asked, eyeing your husband who couldn't seem to help but go overboard. "Bradley, I thought I put a cap on your spending for the baby!"
"It's from us," your parents said in unison.
"Oh."
"Oh," Bradley said, jokingly mimicking your voice. "I told you I was going to behave, and I have been behaving."
You leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "It is a chair?"
"Merry Christmas," your mom said. "It's a glider chair for the nursery. It'll be easier to feed her next to her crib so you can put her right back in bed when she's done. Not that my granddaughter will be anything but the sweetest little girl and most amazing sleeper."
Your eyes welled with tears as you hugged her. "Thanks for the overpriced chair. I love it."
Bradley stood with a soft grunt and reached for your hand. "If the smell isn't bothering you too much, can I show you the paint?"
"Yes," you said, wiping your eyes on his undershirt. You were suddenly so overwhelmed by how your parents came out for the holiday, but more than anything they were helping you get things ready for the next stage of life. Bradley led you down the hallway to the closed door and turned the knob. When he flicked the light on, you gasped. Three walls were blue, and the fourth wall was the dusty rose color you liked so much.
"I was thinking we could get the cloud decals for the blue walls and make the rosy wall look like a sunset," he said softly. "That could be pretty, right?"
You were fully crying now as you hugged him. "I think that sounds beautiful."
He kissed you as his hand settled on the sweet spot on your belly where he could usually feel a kick. "I just want my girls happy."
"We're happy with you."
The two of you spent a few minutes looking at the crib and the new dresser and the changing table. The bedding still needed to be washed, but it was folded on top of the dresser, and you ran your hand along the pastel airplanes and clouds. "I can't wait to meet her."
Bradley held you close and said, "I hope she's just like you."
When you finally walked back out to the kitchen, you were still swiping at your tears. Your mom was putting together some simple finger foods for Christmas Eve dinner, and your dad was putting the finishing touches on the new chair. There were Christmas carols playing softly through your wireless speaker, and you just didn't think the tears were going to stop.
You turned to your husband and quietly sobbed, "I wish your parents were here. I think about them so much, and I hate that I never got to meet either one of them."
"Shhh. Don't cry, Sweetheart," he crooned pulling you to his chest again. "I don't want you to cry." He was quiet for a moment as you looked at the tree, your tears turning the lights into a streaky mess. "My mom would have loved you. And she would have been over the moon for the baby. Just like your parents are. I know it's not fair. I think about it every fucking day, but I don't want you to cry when we still have so much."
You clung to him a little tighter as Rosie did a somersault. "You're right."
Your parents didn't seem concerned when Bradley held you a while longer. Then the four of you ate dinner, and you dipped literally everything into your favorite hot sauce. Then you brought the presents out from their hiding spot in the bathroom closet and set them under the tree while Bradley cleaned up the kitchen. Your mom and dad were already fast asleep by the time you climbed into bed and yawned.
"Can I read to you from the Nugget Notebook?" Bradley asked as he pulled the covers back on his side and got in as well.
"Of course," you whispered, tossing your glasses on your nightstand and snuggling up next to him.
He cleared his throat and you drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice. "Hey, Rosie. Your mom is so funny. She thinks I've been buying you an exorbitant amount of stuff. She's completely correct. I have been. But you know who's even worse than me? Your grandparents."
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Bradley never let his expectations get ahead of himself on holidays. He spent two decades mostly on his own, doing very little celebrating. But that was before you. By seven o'clock in the morning, you were yanking him out of bed. When he tried to reach for your belly to say good morning, you swatted his hands away and gave him a quick kiss. "Rosie says Merry Christmas. Now let's get up."
"Jesus," he grunted. "What's the rush, Sweetheart?"
You kissed him again and said, "I promised your cousin Brenda we would FaceTime with her, and it's already late in Virginia."
He just stared at you. Somehow you always remembered everything and everyone. He knew you sent cards to his family members, and he knew Brenda would appreciate talking to the two of you. "You're the sweetest thing," he said as he climbed out of bed. 
He pulled on his gray sweatpants before following you out of the bedroom. Your parents were already up wearing their matching pajamas, and the whole house smelled like cinnamon rolls and coffee. "Merry Christmas," your mom greeted, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and Bradley did a double take when he saw the tree. There were at least twice as many presents there now as when he went to bed. 
"What's this?" he asked. "It actually looks like Santa came."
"Oh, we just brought a few things with us," your mom said. "Things for Rose. And some treats for Tramp."
"Jesus," he muttered as you handed him the iPad. "The baby isn't even here yet, and they just keep getting worse."
You nodded as you dialed Brenda's number, and when she answered, you asked how she was and showed off your bump before handing the call over to Bradley to have a few minutes alone with his mom's favorite cousin. Then he ate six cinnamon rolls and gave himself a stomach ache before it was time to open the enormous pile of presents.
There were onesies and pacifiers and bibs. Toys and a crib mobile that matched the bedding. Bottles and diapers and teething rings and little floral bath towels. Bradley was completely overwhelmed, and he kind of felt terrible when he handed your parents the set of cutting boards and the laser level you and he picked out for them.
"This is for you." He looked up as you held out a box with a smile on your face. "Well, it's for you and for Rosie."
Bradley's heart skipped a beat as you and your parents watched him unwrap a box, and when he pulled the lid off, his face broke out into a huge smile. You and he had matching shirts, and now he'd be able to match with his Nugget, too. "I love it," he said softly, holding up a large shirt and a very small one. The pink floral design was the same color as the bedroom wall he'd just painted yesterday, and the fabric was very soft. "Thank you, Sweetheart." 
He kissed you and handed you the tiny box he had tucked back behind all the others. He felt a little nervous giving it to you with your parents here, but it didn't really matter. They would see it eventually anyway. When you opened the little jewelry box and met his eyes, you said, "Help me put it on." He leaned in closer and unclasped your necklace chain. You wore the airplane charm and the little dog tag that said Baby Girl every day, and now you'd have another one with them. "It's absolutely perfect," you whispered as you slid the gold rose onto the chain.
"Just like my girls," he promised. "When she's old enough, I'll buy one for her, too, so you can match."
"I love you." You mashed your lips against his as you crawled to his lap, and Bradley didn't stop your parents from making a detour to the kitchen to start prepping for dinner.
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After Christmas dinner, the four of you drove around in the red Bronco to look at lights. You made a quick trip to drop off presents for Jeremiah, and then you and Bradley stopped by to say goodbye to Bob. He looked like he was glued to Maria, so you took that as a good sign.
"I'll never get over the palm trees covered in lights," your mom remarked from the backseat while Christmas music played on the radio.
You played with your new necklace charm as you said, "I think there are a lot of things here that will always look weird to us."
"We're hardy east coast people," Bradley murmured as he turned back onto your street. "Look, they decorated a cactus," he said in disgust, and you started laughing. 
"Is that house for sale?" your dad asked, pointing out the window. "It's hard to tell in the dark."
"Yeah," Bradley replied. "It's been on the market for a few weeks. It looks like it needs a lot of work."
"The last thing we need is a fixer upper," your mom told your dad, and your heart beat a little faster. 
"Dad, are you going to retire?" you asked, too afraid to even ask the more pertinent question on your mind as you played with Bradley's fingers on your lap.
"It's within the realm of possibilities," your dad replied. "Your mom wants to move a little closer to the two of you."
"Three!" she said. "Rose will be here before we know it!"
"The three of you," your dad corrected.
This wasn't the first time this topic had been discussed, but you didn't want to get your hopes up. "Are you still thinking California?"
You dad laughed. "Your mom is obsessed with the Coronado housing market."
"Obsessed is a strong word," she said, and you gave Bradley's hand a little squeeze.
"Tell me we just finished the attic for nothing," your husband mumbled as your parents argued in the backseat, but you just leaned in and kissed him.
"Aww, come on, Roo. Rosie can make one of those rooms her bedroom in a few years," you told him. "You know, so there's separation."
He grunted in approval, and then your dad asked, "Could you leave the car keys out for us to drive around a bit in the morning before you take us to the airport? The two of you can sleep in while we check out the area a little bit more."
"Absolutely," you told him as Bradley pulled back into the driveway of your cute Craftsman with all the extra bedrooms and the strings of lights around the windows. Your parents climbed out of the back, but you tugged on Bradley's hand to keep him in place. "Can I have another one of my million orgasms while they're driving around tomorrow morning?"
He ran his rough thumb along your cheek and kissed you. "My Baby Girl can have absolutely anything she fucking wants."
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Roo gives the best gifts. The nursery is virtually finished and so is the playset. Now we wait for the Nugget to finish cooking. A shower and a babymoon and trouble are on the way soon. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
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auteurdelabre · 11 hours
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SO MUCH TO LOSE PART 12
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rating: 18+
tags: mentions of death, mentions of violence, fingering, dirty talk, jealousy, angst.
a/n: I'm sorry y'all lunch with friends ran late and it's definitely not the afternoon anymore! But here it is! I know y'all have waited a long time for this so I hope its to your liking. It's over 12,000 words and I swear I could write more but then I'd never publish anything. You know your comments and reblogs make me continue on, so please don't forget to do one of the other or even better, both!
masterlist here
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"Wake up."
You jolt awake, eyes blowing wide. You instinctively go for the clock at your beside at home but it's not there. Nothing is where it usually is. As your sleepy mind clears you see two brown eyes staring down at you. 
"Time to go. Get dressed." 
You clothes are dried and laying beside you on the couch and the dead fire. The already dressed Joel leaves the room likely to give you privacy. You get dressed in a hurry, pulling your clothes and boots on before stumbling after Joel. 
"Did you sleep much?"
"Yep. Plenty."
You don’t believe him. There are large circles under his eyes and he yawns so wide that his jaw cracks. You think maybe he got an hour tops.
You follow him down to see the horses huddled up together in the center of the room. Joel obviously used two of the blankets from upstairs because they’re thrown over each of the horses’ backs. They give a soft whinny as the two of you approach.
“Sure am missing breakfast,” you muse with a sleepy smile. “Even that oatmeal that sticks to the roof of my mouth.”
Joel’s mouth curls a bit at one side in amusement. You busy yourself with kissing Chestnut’s muzzle once more before you feel Joel tap you.
“Here.”
You glance over to see Joel holding a piece of jerky out to you. You take it gratefully before pausing.
“Wait, isn’t this your portion?”
“Ate mine already.”
He’s lying.
He gave you all the jerky. Let you drink the rest of his coffee. Even shared his precious whiskey.
“You sure?”
Joel hefts the saddles onto each of the horses, making sure that they’re secured as you gaze at him in question. He feels you staring at him and instead of his usual snark he just glances over gives you a nod.
“Ready to go?”
“Mhm.”
You and Chestnut follow he and Midnight out the house, helping the horses to slowly maneuver down the icy steps into the snow. Even after the storm it comes to above your ankles. Joel frowns, looking down at it.
“We’re gonna have to walk ‘em back. Don’t trust that they won’t hurt themselves in all this.”
“Of course.”
You trail after him, eyes stuck on the ground in front of you.
Joel leads, you follow.
And instead of angering you or making you feel small and useless, it makes you bloom. Like a flower warmed by the sun, its petals unfurling. You feel yourself smiling to yourself a big, toothy grin that you’re glad Joel can’t see. He’d ask you why and you’re not sure that you could answer him sufficiently. You don’t quite understand it yourself.
The walk back is long, especially with the horses moving unsteadily over the snow. Thankfully Chestnut is easily led, unlike last night. The worst of the storm is behind you, leaving only the crunch of icy snow and trees heavy with white. 
Your cheeks and end of your nose are pink from the cold, the scarf tight around your throat. Your fingers are warm in your gloves and you're relieved that everything dried sufficiently in front of the fire last night. You glance at Joel’s broad back, suddenly fixated on an errant thought.
“Joel can I ask you something?”
He visibly cringes. “What?”
“How did you get so good at shooting and fighting?”
His shoulders relax. “Practice.”
“You didn’t fight or shoot before Outbreak Day?”
“Only when I had to get Tommy out of scrapes,” Joel says quietly and you notice he’s slowed his walking until you’ve matched paces and you’re both walking side by side. “I did some boxing when I was younger. Didn’t have much time when Sar- when I got older. The shooting came after. A necessary skill when you’re smugglin’.”
You nod, knowing that he was about to bring up his daughter. Despite the closeness you feel, you have no desire to delve into that very heavy topic. You’re curious about his smuggling as well, but you don’t want to bring that up either as it seems strangely personal.
“You learn pretty quick that anything can be a weapon,” Joel continues on as if you’re a particularly engaged student. “A book, a candlestick, even an unloaded gun can hit a pretty bad blow to the base of someone’s skull. You might not kill ‘em but you’ll hurt ‘em enough to get away.”
To you a book is a book, a candlestick a candlestick. You don’t see things as potential weapons, only for their intended uses
“I never really thought of that,” you admit. “Although I wish I was more of a natural at shooting.”
"Needed to keep up with your lessons," Joel murmurs and you think you hear a softening of his tone. "I could try teachin' you again."
"I've already got someone teaching me," you tell him, back straight and standing tall. You tell Joel this in the pathetic hopes that it will impress him, that he will see how you’re really trying. But instead he scowls at the air in front of him.
“If it’s that Luke boy you’re better off goin’ in blind,” Joel says, eyes fixed in front of him. “He couldn’t even hit a nail straight. Some fuckin’ cabinetmaker.”
Luke is most assuredly not a boy; he’s at least thirty five. Joel calling him a boy makes you smirk despite being irritated at the insult to your friend.
“You don’t even know Luke.”
Joel looks sullen and you're confused that he's angry again. You really can't anticipate his moods.  
The two of you continue on in silence and you think that Joel seems a bit irritated for some reason you can’ unearth. Likely just exhausted like you are after a stressful day and uneven sleep.
"Thought you wanted to be a good shot?” Joel says suddenly, glancing at you over his shoulder. “You need a competent teacher."
"I have a competent teacher and it isn't Luke anyway," you bite off, a line of irritation slicing between your brows.
"Who? Aaron? Greg?" Joel's voice is hard edged. His pace increases with every name said. "Kevin?"
“If you must know its Jennifer,” you sigh, irritable from your poor sleep and Joel’s sudden sullenness.
"Jennifer?" Joel's brows untie his features relaxing.
“I know how much you hate me bringing her up,” you sneer. “But I can’t really avoid it now can I?”
Joel gives a grunt by way of reply all the while your mind drifts to your friend. The girl who likes Joel and has for a long while. Jennifer the girl who has always been up front and honest with you.
What will you tell her?
He's quiet with you on the walk back and you wonder if he's distracted like you. He's likely tired like you are, muscles aching from the lumpy couch. Now you know how those muscles feel against your cheek and the memory makes you feel tingly.
In your distracted state and the slick of the snow you tumble, landing on your hands and hissing. Angry tears well in your eyes and you wince at the way your wrist smarts.
"Fuck."
Your knees and are wet from snow and you miserably wait for the chastising or rolled eyes shot your way by Joel. Instead you hear the crunch of snow and he's there half-crouched in front of you, one hand on Midnight's reins, the other held out to you. 
You stare at it a moment, the glove wide and cracked with age. Then finally you take it, lifting your eyes to his. You're surprised to find concern. 
"You alright?"
"Yeah."
"You good to keep goin'?"
"Uh huh." 
He nods and then he turns, dropping your hand and striding back with the horse towards the trail. 
You watch the back of Joel's head as he saunters ahead of you, listening to his quiet murmurs to Midnight and fixating on the loose curl of his hair at the nape of his neck. You're captivated by the interwoven strands of dark brown and grey that glint like tinsel in the light of the morning. 
You're concerned that the thought of Joel makes your belly grow warm and tighten. The man who previously drove you insane with irritation now lingers in your thoughts almost pleasantly.  
He shared things with you. Things you have a feeling he doesn't share with many others. He told you about Tess and he wanted to know about you. So what does that mean? Does he see you as more than just a pleasurable release? 
Do you want him to? 
You don't know how to feel about Joel right now. And you don’t know what you’re going to tell Jennifer if she asks.
When you cross into Jackson City cold and exhausted a few hours later you're surprised to hear loud commotion behind the wall and electrified fence.
"It's them!"
"Open the fucking gate!"
You and Joel exchange a brief look before the entrance is opened to you and you stalk forward. You see the large group gathered at the wall on the other side, thankful that the snow has been shovelled.
The entrance to the gate is full of the other patrol members looking like they're about to head out. You glance behind you to see the snow storm kicking back up just as the gate is closed and locked securely behind you. You glance back at the
Tommy is giving a relieved huff of air as he sees you both slowly make your way inside the walls, the horses trailing after you. 
Jennifer is atop Glimmer; talking animatedly to a new patrol person you don't know. She looks beside herself, her eyes red-rimmed. When she turns back and sees you she lets out a choked sob and scrambles off Glimmer before she runs in your direction, nearly tackling you into a tight embrace. 
"I was so worried," she says, voice shaky. "Luke and I were up all night just waiting for word. I was gonna go with the search party and-and-" 
"I'm here in okay," you say with a slight laugh, your arms banding around her as she hiccups a cry into your shoulder. "I swear I'm okay." 
You notice the timid form of Ellie over Jennifer's shoulder. She sees you first and casts a brief smile at you before her eyes search the crowd for Joel. When she hears him snapping at Tommy to give him breathing room you see the tears she blinks back. You watch as Ellie slips through the crowd chasing after his voice. 
When she gets to him there's no hesitation on his part. He brings her into his arms and murmurs something into her ear. Ellie's face crumples but she buries it in the front of Joel's jacket, her tiny hands gripping the front of it.
She loves him so much.
You catch his eye over Ellie's head, not missing the gentle nod he casts your way. It warms you deeply. Things feel different between the two of you. 
'I'm so glad you're okay," Jennifer says wiping the tears from her cheeks and drawing your attention back to her. "I just ... I was so scared."
"Me too," you nod, surprised to find yourself choked up. You haven’t had friendship like this before – the kind of tenderness that comes with true companionship. You wonder if this is how every friendship is supposed to feel and if so, you mourn that it took you this long to stumble upon it.
The tall, lanky form of Luke steps forward from the murmuring crowd his face breaking into a relieved expression. He jogs over in your direction and takes you aback by gathering you into his arms and rocking you tightly against him. 
“Thank fuck!”
You giggle in his neck, inhaling the soft, warm scent of coffee and wool from his scarf. He holds you like this for several moments, tenderly and with affection.
"I know you wanted an adventure but honestly," he says with mock irritation into your hairline. 
Laughter bubbles from the three of you, relieved and silly. You hug him back tightly, thankful for the relationships you've built, thankful for the levity he's bringing to the moment. Grateful that you found he and Jennifer at the end of the world.
You hear a throat clear behind you and you turn in Luke's grip.  
Joel stares back at you, mouth in a thin line. He's got Ellie tucked under one arm, Tommy at his side and several of the others attempting to talk to him. But he’s still, the only movement his dark eyes taking you in.
You break away from Luke and move towards Joel, feeling overcome with emotion. Last night could have been so terrifying if not for the broad man standing in front of you. A sensation of deep gratitude curls around your ribs, lessening the anxiety you would normally feel in his presence. 
"Thank you for everything, Joel."
You give him a warm smile, even going so far as to touch your hand to his forearm. Ellie watches this, a faint smile settling over her lips as your glove makes contact with his jacket. 
You wait for that same quiet kindness from Joel that accompanied you home this morning and are confused when he pulls back from your hand stiffly, his voice melting into that familiar husky baritone. 
"Mind movin' outta the way sometime this year?"
And just like that in the blink of an eye the old Joel is back. That same haughty glare, the same squaring of his jaw. You deflate, shoulders slumping before you move backwards.
Nothing has changed.
He strides by your group, the feel of his leather jacket dragging across the back of your glove. 
"Must be exhausted after last night," Jennifer surmises, watching after him a moment. "You must be too."
You watch after Joel and Ellie, seeing the rigid way he walks beside her now. You think of Joel’s changeable moods and you exhale softly.
"Yeah," you nod. "I am."
///
Jennifer insists on walking you home and makes sure you are taken care of. She draws you a bath and leaves to bring you back a warm lunch from the dining hall. She makes sure your bed is changed with fresh sheets, warming them with a water bottle from her place. She even offers to sleep on your couch in case you need anything that first evening back.
“You don’t have to do that,” you insist that evening before the fire, your robe tightly around you and socks toasty from being propped up by the flames. It reminds you of how cold you were with Joel only a day ago.
You’re close to falling asleep but you like having Jennifer in the house, nearby. You like the sound of clattering dishes and her chirping away about something in town before she’s tucked up on one side of the couch, her hands around a warm mug of tea.
“I can’t thank you enough for all of this,” you tell her, feeling moved.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s something to me.”
Jennifer smiles and you watch how the fire warms her face in an entirely different way than Joel. Instead of looking intimidating, it’s like she softens in the warm light. She looks sad though in a way you don’t recall from before.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you here,” she finally says with a cracked chuckle, her long neck bobbing as she swallows.
“Yeah right. You have so many friends,” you say. “I’ve barely ever seen you alone. You always have company.”
“Company, but not real friends,” she tells you. “Not ones who don���t judge me.”
You recall your initial judgments of the beautiful, blonde Jennifer. That she was giggly and frivolous and that she lived to gather men. You’d had no idea of her tough upbringing, of all she sacrificed, of her talents, of her unending support. You wonder how many others you judged in your life and missed out on the pleasure of knowing.
“I judged you,” you tell her honestly. “When I first met you I thought you were a vapid, pretty flirt.”
Jennifer is immediately laughing across from you, wiping the tension from your face.
“Yeah but everyone makes judgments like that with strangers! I made judgments about you before I got to know you too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I thought you were an antisocial bitch,” Jennifer says with a crooked grin and you can’t help but bark out a laugh in reply.
“What?”
“You never spoke to anyone, never smiled. You were always reading or walking off by yourself.” Jennifer smirks. “You intimidated the shit out of me.”
“No,” you say in awe. “I intimidated you?”
“Of course!” Jennifer giggles. “So serious and always reading. Plus you just carried yourself in a way that felt. . . it felt like you had walls up, you know?”
You realize that Jennifer is very astute amongst her other gifts.
“Then I saw Ellie with you that morning,” she adds. “And I figured, maybe like Joel there was more to you than met the eye. Then I heard you were on patrols with Joel and the rest is history.”
Yeah, the rest is history.
You can’t help but curl your lip in amusement. Who knew a chance patrol pairing could lead you into a friendship you’d never thought possible? Jennifer shuffles back on the couch, looking cozy in her latest fashion piece (a cable knit looking sweater with felted strawberry accents). 
Jennifer is quiet, staring into the fire. She seems strangely stoic today and you feel like it’s not just from your disappearance. You give her a sidelong glance, lips pressed tightly together. She looks off into middle distance, her normally mirth-filled eyes suddenly hollow.
"You okay, Jen?"
She doesn’t reply, only turns her head to glance in your direction when you prompt her with a gentle tap to her wrist, settling back into the couch before turning to look at you head on. 
“Just a tough time of year,” Jennifer acknowledges as she tosses a twig in the fire. She looks different tonight, like a ghostly version of herself. 
You surmise that perhaps with the approaching holidays she’s feeling down in the mouth. It's like that with lots of folks. You shift your body to face her, showing her that you're listening and you wait for her to talk, holding the silence for her.
She looks to be fighting an internal debate. 
"I shot a kid."
She says it with a choke, as if the words are fighting to come loose from her throat. These weren't the words you'd been expecting from the beautiful, flirty Jennifer. These words are ugly, twisted and cold. 
“I’ve only told a few people,” she adds, chin wobbling.
You stare at her, eyes unwavering, waiting. Words aren't your strong suit. All you can offer her is a steady silence. She absently scratches at the side of the warm mug she holds.
"This was years ago around this time," she continues, her eyes downcast. "I was with my brothers and we were going through to one of the safety zones. We'd found this old market, had some tinned goods. My brothers go to check out the back and I go down an empty aisle thinking I might find something useful." 
Jennifer swallows harshly, her teacup held so tightly her knuckles look parchment white.
"All of a sudden this kid comes out of nowhere. Couldn't have been more than ten. He's skin and bones, wild eyes saying these words over and over, a bunch that I don't understand. He had a knife in his hand and I thought he was trying to come for me. I didn't even think, I just raised the gun and I shot him between the eyes." 
You can almost hear the echo of that gunshot in the silent room now. 
Jennifer is staring over your shoulder, like she can see the ghostly apparition of the fallen child behind you. It makes goosebumps rise along your body, and you continue to keep your even silence.  You know that she doesn't want you embrace or your pity, just your presence. 
"My brother's told me I did what was smart,” Jennifer whispers. “Told me to move on. But his face when he was dead, his shrieking, it just kept playing over and over in my head. When I went to bed, when I woke up. It felt wrong." 
Tears slide down her cheeks now, as quick as she brushes them away with the edge of her sweater, new ones appear, soaking into the wool. 
"I came to Jackson a few months after that. My brothers wanted to keep goin', they heard about some place in Canada that they thought would be a better fit for us. But... I needed a fresh start where no one knew me, where I could be someone totally new. They were upset to leave me, but I pretty much insisted on it."
You shift in your seat, listening intently. Jennifer has this sickening look on her face and you know behind her eyes is a memory of this terrible experience. It makes you want to hold her hand but she’s folded into herself and you don’t want to force her into anything.
"So I was living here in Jackson a few months and I’m at the dining hall one night and I hear this woman speaking another language. At first I barely notice, but then I realize this word keeps popping up. Pomoz. Pomoz. Same as that kid."
At this point Jennifer places her empty teacup on the aged wood coffee table. She stretches her long legs before pulling them to her chest. She sniffs again, unable to meet your gaze.
"Turns out he was speaking Polish. So I tell the lady the sentence that has been haunting me for months and months and I ask her for the translation." Jennifer swipes along the bottom of her runny nose with the back of her sweater. 
"You know what he was saying?"
You don't move. Not even to shake your head. 
"He was saying help me. I'm lost." Jennifer's lower lip trembles. "Pomóż mi, zgubiłem się. He was just a kid begging for my help and I shot him dead without thinking." 
Now the sobs come, wracking her slim body as she curls into herself.
"That little b-boy died on a dirty supermarket floor alone and scared because of me."
You can't help it if it isn't in your nature; your hands go to Jennifer's and hold tightly. And when her warm teardrops land on the back of them you move forward to wrap her in your arms. You haven’t held someone to comfort them in so long that it feels foreign to you, but you grip her tightly, letting her tears soak the front of your nightdress.
You don’t offer her saccharine words of comfort, you don’t give her pity, you just hold her until the tears stop flowing and her breathing returns to normal. Even after all of that you continue to hold her until she squeezes back, letting you sit there in the quiet night.
"Thank you," Jennifer finally says in a croaked voice before pulling back. You tilt your head at her. 
"For what?"
"For letting me talk about this stuff and not judging me." She pushes her hair from her glassy eyes. 
"You did what anyone else would have done," you assure her honestly. “I know you don’t believe it, but you did. How could I judge that?”
"I think you're the first person who I ever told this to who didn't look at me like I was a piece of shit," she says with a forced laugh. You shake your head. 
"I could never look at you like that.”
She gives you a wry smile. "Oh yeah? Why's that? Cuz I taught you to shoot?"
You give her a weak smile in return. 
"Because... You reminded me about the good parts of life. Of having friends and singing and drinking tea. You made me leave my cave and come blinking out into the sunshine again." 
Jennifer looks moved by your words, her large eyes growing glossier.
"I think that's why I wanted to get to know you," Jennifer observes with a sniffle. "It felt like you were outrunning something too. Trying to forget." 
You look at your hands in your lap before giving a resolute nod. 
"Yeah."
"Sometimes I think that's why I like to distract myself with crushes or teaching people to shoot or makin' dresses," she muses. "Being alone with my thoughts too much is..."
She doesn't finish that thought but she doesn't need to. 
You couldn't understand more. 
And then its like she’s trying to push back this burdensome memory and she forces a smile to her face. You can see her adopting this persona, this safety person that she hides behind. Happy, bright, Jennifer who flirts and shoots and rides horses and drinks beer at the Bison. And you let her slip into this character because you are no one to judge how a person chooses to survive.
“So tell me, what was it like being there with Joel at night?” she asks with a sidelong smirk in your direction.  “I know he’s not your favorite person.”
Before when Jennifer asked you about Joel it used to irritate you. You thought she was using you for your information. But when she asks you now there’s nothing but amusement, like two grade-school girls discussing their crush from third period biology.
“I thought about you actually,” you grin toothily. “Thought about how you’d give anything to swap spots with me.”
Jennifer does a fake swoon, falling dramatically backward; the back of her hand on her forehead and you can’t help but bust out giggling. Jennifer giggles right back, sitting back up and bouncing in her seat.
“Tell me everything!”
You can’t tell her everything.
You give her the bullet points; the thundersnow, the horses, Joel’s calves. You leave out that you were both naked under the blankets sharing whiskey, you leave out that he went down on you for hours and you definitely leave out the part about waking up against him and falling back asleep.
“He took really good care of me,” you finish up honestly. “I thought he was gonna be a jerk but he was great.”
“Really?” Jennifer almost beaming, like she’s proud she was right about him all along.
“Yeah, I was really scared and he was really patient that night.”
“See? I told you there was something to him.”
“I guess,” you shrug. “I think it was a storm thing though. He’s gone back to being an asshole so I wouldn’t hold my hopes up.”
“Did he mention me by any chance?”
You think of how to frame this. Yeah, Joel did mention Jennifer but none of his comments were particularly flattering. But when you recall how he looked at her coming back you think it might have been to cover up his feelings. He doesn’t seem like someone who can come out and express how he feels properly.
“Yeah, actually. You came up a few times.”
Jennifer giggles to herself and you know she wants to ask more about this but you’re tired and yawning and not long after she insists you go to sleep.
Your bed has never felt more comfortable but sleep takes its time coming to you. It keeps replaying the night before; the way Joel’s dark eyes reflected the fire, the strength of his hands on your body, his tongue between your legs.
You wish your mind didn’t keep going back to last night because all you can focus on is that Joel made you come, asked for nothing in return and then in the morning made it seem like nothing happened.  Then as soon as you entered inside Jackson City he made it seem like he was furious with you.
The way he acted makes you wonder if you'd imagined all his kindness and his soft touches. But no, you can still feel the sensation of his tongue between your folds, his calloused hands on your thighs, the husky groan ordering you to come. You can't stop thinking about it, actually. 
It’s there lulling you to sleep, a warmth simmering in your belly.
///
You sleep in the next day, well past the breakfast hour. You don’t mind though, Jennifer had you stuffed with food up until she left at midnight telling you she could stay if you needed her to. You’re still not used to this kind of friendship, still wary that it seems too good to be true.
A glance out the window shows that some snow has fallen since yesterday, but nothing too much. Outside your street is barely touched, the sun shining gently on the earth’s creation.
You get dressed quickly, padding yourself with extra warm clothes, your red scarf and your jacket. You pull on your boots dried by the previous day’s fire and you step into the chilly mid-morning.
You like to go to the quiet parts of Jackson for your walks, enjoying the solitude. It’s in the outer part of Jackson without being in the forest, a place you never venture to.  It’s an abandoned neighborhood with old houses, fencing and more.
A sharp bark is at your back and you turn to see the familiar panting dog clumsily making his way over to you through the snow.
“Hey Buckley,” you coo when he gets close enough.
Buckley is a famous figure that roams Jackson City, a dog that belongs to everyone in a way. You think you heard someone say he was a border collie mixed with something else. He’s not always in town, often he’s found by the hydroelectric dam when he’s not snoozing at Gustavo’s feet listening to the banjo.
“You being a good boy?” you muse, scratching the back of his ear when he cocks his head.
He’s a friendly dog, rarely without his prized tennis ball. He doesn’t have it with him now, and you assume he’s lost it in the snow. You shake your head at him with a soft huffing laugh.
“You wanna join me on my walk?”
Sometimes it strange to walk through the underdeveloped parts of Jackson City. The ones with power lines that poke out like jagged tombstones. The asphalt that’s cracks when you walk on it during the hot months. But you come to stand before one of your favorite buildings, the ranch, smiling as the gentle breeze turns your cheeks pink. Buckley follows at your heels, the two of you slowed down by the snow.
You avoid the forest for obvious reasons, but you enjoy walking by the old ranch because it reminds you of the kind of place you read about in books.  You think that it would be nice to live in it one day. You found it once during one of your morning walks when you first arrived at Jackson City, and it’s been a sort of touchstone for you ever since.
You walk up its creaking porch steps, your fingers touching the porch swing. You can imagine it spruced up, drinking lemonade while you watch the sunset. It’s a nice fantasy, but it will remain just that. You have no building skills, you are a single occupant and you imagine when Jackson City gets big enough they’ll reserve this place for a big family or turn it into something vital.
You walk inside, immediately at ease with the gold sun of the morning that filters in through the grimy windows. The entire place is built with that warm, honey-colored wood. Threadbare carpets litter the spaces, old furniture still standing. Buckley remains outside, keeping watch as is his prerogative. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him inside anywhere.
You move over the creaking floors, taking in the dusty floors before you touch the sails of the decorate boat resting on the mantle above the hearth, a little tradition of yours. Moth-eaten curtains hang like sad bits of hair over the windows, and you gasp a little when a rat skitters by in the dining room, going to hide in one of the old cabinets. With all the cold weather they are urged indoors and you have no desire to hurt them; that’s Buckley’s job.
You’re about to head upstairs when something in the next room stops you. The kitchen area creaks with the unmistakable sound of slow, heavy footsteps. Immediately you straighten, hands going for a gun that you’re not carrying.
Fuck.
What are you gonna do? Panic threatens to seize you until a voice; low and husky is there at your ear, quelling your heartbeat.
You learn pretty quick that anything can be a weapon. A book, a candlestick, even an unloaded gun can hit a pretty bad blow to the base of someone’s skull. You might not kill ‘em but you’ll hurt ‘em enough to get away.
Your eyes go wide, taking in the mantle behind you once more. The candlesticks aren’t that heavy, the sailboat decorative. There are some books in the next room but you’ll be seen. Then your eyes drift down to the hearth and you feel relief when you see the fire implements there. You grab the poker, sure not to upset the other brass items into clanging.
The footsteps are continuing getting closer and you force yourself to remember what Jennifer has been teaching you: slow your breathing, focus, think of something that takes you to that quiet place. 
Homemade pies.
Lavender soap.
Sunlight on a summer morning.
Joel’s eyes.
Before you can consider this train of thought a figure suddenly makes their way around the corner of the room, looking curiously at their surroundings. You raise the poker above your head, charging at them with a furious shriek.
The man jumps back from you, watery pale eyes bulging out of his ruddy skull. He falls backwards onto the ground, holding a hand up to shield his face as you prepare to bring the poker down on his head.
“Please! Please! I live here! Please don’t hurt me!”
Something in the frantic way he yelps stills your motions, your breathing ragged as adrenaline courses through you. You lower the poker to your side, still not releasing it entirely.
He’s short and portly and he doesn’t look particularly frightening lying there quivering on the ground.
“You don’t live here,” you tell him sharply. “This place is empty.”
“I meant I live here in the community,” the man squeaks. He can’t be younger than sixty.  “Well, in a sense. I-I mean, we just got here y-yesterday. I was just looking for the soap maker; I was told she’s nearby?”
You don’t sense any real danger from this man and now you step forward, holding a hand out to him. He winces at first, thinking you mean to hit him. Then he realizes you’re not threatening him and he takes your hand gingerly.
“I’m sorry,” the man says with his voice wobbling as you pull him to a stand. “I didn’t mean to startle.”
“It’s fine. I’ve just never run into anyone here. Raiders have been seen nearby and it’s a bit high tension around lately,” you explain.
“Oh I see,” the man nods. “That explains the welcome.”
You can’t help but laugh softly at that.
“I'm Arthur," the man says shaking your hand as you introduce yourself. 
Normally you would keep to yourself, but today feels different. You feel different. It prompts you to keep your face pointed to the pale man. 
"You said you were new to Jackson?"
"Wife and I just arrived last night," Arthur says with a shy smile, pushing his glasses up his narrow nose. "I'm still getting my bearings. She was so excited to have running water so I was looking for soap. Someone in town told me there’s a soap maker in this direction." 
“I’ll show you the way,” you say, placing the fire poker back with the other instruments beside the hearth.
“Really?”
“Sure. Follow me.”
The two of you walk into the chill of the day, Buckley standing to attention when the two of you exit. You introduce Arthur to the dog and the two of you start on your journey. Arthur is a slow walker, especially in the snow, so it takes a bit longer than you normally would.
But strangely you don’t mind. You think you might be feeling powerful from earlier; you knew what to do in a time of panic. It makes you smile, your entire disposition cheerful as Arthur talks on next to you.
“I’d like to find some work as soon as possible.”
"Of course," you nod. "You have any experience in anything?"
"Not unless someone wants their portrait done," Arthur says with a smile that shows his crowded incisors. "Back in the QZ I did some teaching. Art classes and the like."
"They could always use someone like that here," you reason. 
"You think?"
"I'm sure of it. Maybe at the school? What does your wife do?"
"Penny was in the business sector before the outbreak. In the QZ she did more manual positions, disposal that sort of thing. Do you think you could find her work in something similar here?" 
"Oh, I'm not in charge if that sort of stuff," you smile. "But I know who is. I'll see her this week and tell her you're eager to help out. Can I get your address?"
They live at 64 Pine and while Arthur is more of the creative type, he and his wife both have experience with cooking as well. You make a note of this for when you see Maria later this week. 
Normally Maria would be on top of this sort of thing. Before Douglas' she always gave the tour's to newcomers, always had them sorted with a job before the end of their first week. But now she's distracted and subsequently Tommy is too. 
People like to give, she told you that first week. Makes them feel like they’re part of something.
You and Arthur chat companionably with Buckley trailing at your ankles through the snow. Arthur and his wife have been together for thirty five years, and they’ve made it from the Virginia QZ.
“Things were just too hairy over there,” Arthur says with a shake of his head. “Me and Penny figured we couldn’t keep living like that. We heard about Jackson City through an old CB a friend had. Seemed too good to be true.”
“I get that,” you nod. “The first month I was here I barely left my house. I was convinced my place would be given away the second I walked out the door.”
“The beds!” Arthur says with a dramatic emphasis on the words. “And those clean sheets? Everything is just so. . .Fresh.”
You’re at the soap maker’s home now and while it’s still early, you can hear Hannah rustling about inside. You know if you stay she’ll insist on having you in for coffee and you feel as if your social battery is already at its limit.
“This is where I’ll leave you,” you say indicating to the home ahead. “Inside is Hannah and Herb, they’ll set you up with some soap for you and your wife.”
“Thanks so much,” Arthur says pumping your hand in his.
“Can you make it back okay on your own?”
“I’m sure.”
You smile, about to turn and head back home when something stops you. You twist around, calling after Arthur who raises his brows.
“Do you ever draw portraits?”
“Of course,” Arthur nods.
“I mean, of people you don’t know,” you say, squinting as you try to recall the term. “Kinda like sketch artists did for the police back before?”
“I can’t say it’s a specialty, but I love a challenge,” Arthur says with a little skip to his step. “And considering you were kind enough to show me here I’d love to do it for you.”
“Thanks,” you say, feeling shy. “I might just take you up on it.”
///
You’re surprised to see Maria knocking on your door later that afternoon. She’s got a sleeping Douglas strapped to her chest with a sling and she’s carrying a pie in one hand.
“I would have been here the second you got back but I only heard from Tommy what was going on late last night,” she says when you invite her in.
“No problem,” you insist warmly. “I think he was doing it to save you some stress.”
“Yeah well he got an earful,” she says with a frown. “How could he not tell me my friend was missing during a storm?”
Friend. Another friend. An embarrassment of riches. You try to tamp down the pleased smile that bleeds across your face and instead give a gentle rub to Douglas’ head, giggling as he grunts and scrunches his nose.
You tell Maria about Arthur and Penny and she nods as she feeds Douglas.
"Yep, 64 Pine. I just sent them over a welcome basket and Tommy's gone there to give 'em jobs."
"Great," you smile. Your eyes go to the gently babbling Douglas in Maria's arms. “How does he get cuter every day?”
“Must be a Miller thing,” she says laughing. “I saw a picture of Sarah once and she was so adorable.”
This intrigues you to the point of distraction.
“You saw a picture of Sarah?”
Very few people had photos or memorabilia from their homes that survived Outbreak Day. You don’t know anyone personally who has photos of their family.
“Yeah, Tommy went back to Texas a while back. Got some stuff from his old place and he found a photo of Sarah to bring back.”
“Joel must have been so happy.”
“He didn’t take it,” Maria shrugs. “Think it was too hard for him.”
You fall silent for a moment, your irritation with Joel waning. It’s hard to be angry at him after everything that happened. You sometimes forget that he had a life before, that he had a daughter he’ll never see again. Despite your animosity for how he treated you earlier, you’re not devoid of compassion.
You just wish you could understand him.
You’re still pondering this hours after Maria has left when there’s a knock at your door. It creaks open when you call out to come in and a familiar set of light eyes greet you. Luke grins at you expectantly.
“You still up for shooting?”
“Oh shit, I forgot,” you place your teacup in the sink and hurriedly pull on your scarf and jacket.
“We don’t have to,” Luke starts. “Jenny can’t make it, but I thought it’d be good for us to get the practice.”
You flush happily at the thought of being alone with Luke. You enjoy being with him, it’s easy and uncomplicated.
You follow him down the street heading to the outskirts of the city, both of you armed with guns borrowed from Jennifer.
"So Jennifer isn’t going to shoot today?" You ask curiously. 
"Nah she said something about running behind in textiles. Dunno what exactly,” Luke shrugs, before smiling back at you. “You going to the town meeting Wednesday?” 
Town meetings have been going on since Jackson City was founded. A place to bring up impactful town business, updates, celebrations and more.  You've only been to one, finding it pretty dull for the most part. But as you become more a part of the community you find you want to know more of what goes on around you. 
"Yeah I think I will." 
The two of you fall into a comfortable rhythm that afternoon and you’re surprised at how easily the conversation flows even without Jenny there. Luke is funny and sweet and when you shoot your first can he’s right there to lift you into his arms and spin you around.
“That was amazing!”
“I can’t believe it!” you say, pink-cheeked and delighted.
You’re still on a high when you head back into town an hour or so later, chatting animatedly about how your shooting is actually improving thanks to Jennifer. You wish she had been there to see it today.
“Not just one can, but four,” Luke whistles in amazement as you both make your way to the center of town. “And I could only got one.”
“But it was really far away so it counts as two,” you insist with a giggle. Luke grins down at you, pulling you into a companionable side hug.
“You’re too kind.”
Your entire body lights up with the contact of Luke's arm around you. You’re about to say something more when a gruff voice sounds out from behind you. 
“You sign those guns out?”
You and Luke spin to face the speaker.
Joel.
He’s standing there, leather coat done up looking intimidating. His dark eyes are going to where Luke holds you around the shoulder.
Instinctively you take a half step away from Luke, feeling strangely wrong-footed at having his arm around you, as if you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t.
Luke is busy looking at Joel in confusion. “Huh?”
“The guns you’re carryin’,” Joel says sharply, tongue lodged in the corner of his mouth as he appraises the both of you, taking a step closer. “They gotta be signed out if you’re practicin’. Need to keep track of ‘em for safety.”
Everyone who comes to Jackson City knows this, it’s taught during your welcome. Public weapons used for patrols need to be signed out from the armory, the ammo is doled out in specific numerations to keep the city stocked and prepared.
“They’re Jenny’s,” Luke explains patiently. “From her own collection. She lends them to us for practice.”
“Ammo too?”
“Yep.”
Joel makes a grunting noise in Luke’s direction, but his eyes don’t leave your face. You feel your cheeks prickling with embarrassment at being talked down to. And for what reason? Why is Joel being such an asshole this week?
“Is that all, Joel?” you challenge, feeling your hackles rising.
Joel frowns at you, jaw ticking and then without a word he strides past you and Luke, ducking into one of the shops that line the main street. You watch him leave, stiff-shouldered and long-legged and you shake your head.
“Man that guy is such an asshole,” Luke murmurs to you as the two of you continue your walk towards the other shops. “What’s his problem?”
“Honestly, I have no idea.”
///
Midweek one early morning you decide to pay a visit to Chestnut with a contraband carrot. You’ve been worrying about him since you returned from that overnight patrol shift, but your visit shows he’s no worse for wear. He clops over to you and cheerfully takes the carrot as you pet him.
There's something comforting about the scent of hay in the paddock, of Chestnut's glossy eyes and the strength of his ribs under your palm. Something that grounds you when you're here alone, listening to the strangely relaxing sound of him munching on his carrot. You've broken it in half, concerned that you might upset his diet. 
He deserves it after all he went through last week. 
You feel eyes on you and you glance over your shoulder to see Midnight circling around his paddock. Chestnut continues to snack away on his carrot piece, not even acknowledging when you drift over to Midnight. 
"Hi, boy."
You take the other half of the carrot and move closer to where Midnight stares balefully out at you from the corner of his paddock.  He watches you with widened eyes, making a huffing noise as you near, hand outstretched with the  carrot half resting in the center of your palm.
Midnight's known you for months, but he still treats you like a stranger to be wary of. For a moment you wonder what his story is.
"Here you go," you coo, balancing on the fencing separating the two horses. "You deserve a treat too."
The glossy black head swings slowly, the scent catching him and it's not long before he begins inching towards you. 
With a soft smile on your lips you hold your palm flat and feel the velvet brush of his mouth as he takes the carrot piece. You feel victorious by this minute surrender and smile toothily at the creature. You think about stroking his mane but decide you'd best not push your luck. 
You turn when you hear your name being called and you're delighted to see its Ellie. She comes jogging towards you, looking as if she's getting ready to go to school. 
"Hey, I haven't seen you in the dining hall lately," you greet as she comes your way. 
"Nah, wanted to hang out with Joel this week," she explains and you hold in the urge to make a sympathetic face. You know his disappearance must have rattled her. 
She looks at Midnight relaxing in his paddock and stretches out her fingers in his direction. You watch in quiet amazement as the creature ambles over to her, allowing her to start petting his twitching side. Ellie sure has a knack for taming the untamable. 
"You like horses?" you ask Ellie, watching as the girl pets Chestnut’s ears.
“Yeah, I can ride too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sorta. Winston this soldier back in the zone gave me lessons.” She glances up at you. “How do you know how to ride?”
“When I was really little my parents got me riding lessons. I loved it, kept going with it. Did some competitions. I was still riding up until Outbreak Day.”
“Wow. That’s awesome.”  Ellie gnaws at her chapped lower lip, scratching absently at her covered arm. She looks like she’s trying to summon up the courage for something and then you both speak at once.
“Are you okay?-“
“-You wanna come over on Thursday night?”
You pause, her words hitting you belatedly.
“Where? To your place?”
“Yeah,” Ellie nods. She smiles at Chestnut, her eyes disappearing when she does. “For a special dinner.”
You and Joel Miller together in the same house again? After he’s been such a colossal asshole to you for no reason this week?
Not a chance.
“We could do dinner at my place,” you suggest airily. “I could make us something special.”
“Nah, I wanna do it at mine. On Thursday. I’ll make us all something really special.” She looks nervously at you. “Could you bring dessert?”
The request makes you huff a laugh. “Like what?”
“A cake?”
You grin as you watch her pet Chesnut, but you don’t reply. Thoughts of being in Joel’s home don’t really fill you with ease or cheer.  She pauses when she sees your hesitation.
“Joel wanted me to ask you to come.”
This gives you pause and your brows rise to your hairline.
“Joel invited me to have dinner with you both?”
“Yeah,” Ellie nods resolutely. “You know Joel. He’s a grumpy asshole and he’s shit at communicating. But he told me to invite you, so can you make it?”
Is it possible that this is Joel extending an olive branch? Maybe he feels bad knowing how bizarrely he’s treated you this week. Maybe he’ll even explain why he’s suddenly been so frosty.
You consider this, eyes stuck on Chestnut’s mane as your fingers twirl in it. You can feel Ellie’s hopeful expression facing you and so you sigh quietly before flashing her a tentative smile.
“Chocolate cake okay?”
///
Town meetings take place inside the old church at the edge of town. The chapel itself is filled with creaking pews and tall stained glass windows. 
People use it on Sundays, those that still believe in something in this empty world. You don't attend; you stopped believing a long time ago. During town meetings though the religious iconography is removed and placed off to the side. 
Down the steps is the large recreation space used for dances and parties and the like. You've never gone to any, finding the idea too intimating since you didn't know anyone. The space is mostly filled, as all town meetings are. It's recommended that one person from each family attend to keep appraised of what's happening in the community. 
This evening you and Jennifer slip into the end of a pew near the back, the back of your knees braced against the chilled wood.
"Oh there's Luke," Jennifer whispers, hitting your shoulder with hers gently. "Must've come with the guys."
You follow her eye line to see Luke sitting with some of the guys you recognize from breakfasts with Jennifer. He's laughing with them, chatting casually. He looks handsome tonight, his hair brushed back and his muscled arms crossed over his chest. You can't help but notice the way his mouth curves, looking so inviting. 
You surprise yourself with how attracted you are to him this evening. You can't explain it, but you wish his hands were on you. Wish he was taking you to bed. 
You worry that Joel's actions the other night have opened something in you, something that craves a man between your legs, a tongue tracing the buds of your nipples, fingers tracing shapes into your flesh. 
You squirm slightly in your seat before focusing your attention elsewhere when a flash of red hair catches your eyes and you stand, making your way across the aisle.
“Hi Arthur," you greet with a smile. He's sitting with a tall woman with very red hair and is covered in tattoos. Delicate black lined things that wrap around her one arm and across her neck. She's like walking artwork that you can't stop staring at. 
"Oh it’s you!” Arthur beams up at you from where he sits. “This is my wife Penny I was telling you about." 
The woman turns her bulging eyes at you, yellowed at the corners. She smiles and gives you a crooked smile. 
"Pleased to meet you," she says with a sharp drawl. "My husband says you’re to thank for the soap?”
“No no,” you laugh. “I just showed him where to find it.”
“And she didn’t bludgeon me even when she had the chance,” Arthur adds. The three of you chuckle together and you can’t help but watch the images on Penny’s lean neck jump when she laughs.
"Those tattoos are beautiful," you tell her, momentarily hypnotized. 
"Arthur did them for me back in the QZ," Penny says with a shy grin. "Stick and poke if you can believe it. Self taught." 
"Really? That's really impressive, Arthur." 
Arthur ducks his head, looking momentarily shy. He pushes his glasses up his long nose bashfully. 
"He makes everything he touches pretty," Penny says proudly. "S'the thing I love most about him."
"That's such a beautiful idea," you say without thinking. You bid them farewell before taking your seat next to Jennifer who’s deep in conversation with one of the women you’ve seen in the dining hall.
You scan the chapel and see that Maria sits in the front row, her baby strapped to her front. People talk to her but she looks strangely overwhelmed. Maria has never been like that, always been strong and confident. You try to catch her eye, to give her a reassuring smile but she doesn't turn in your direction. 
Tommy pushes into the chapel by eight and ambles to the front of the room. He gives Maria a gentle kiss to the crown of her head before stepping behind the podium and waving at the gathered collective. When they see him the voices dim and he shoots a grateful look at the crowd. 
"Hi y'all, thanks for comin' out on this cold night when I know you’d rather be at the Bison." He pauses as light chuckles fill the room. "We got a few things happenin' this month and I wanted y'all to be aware."
There's a shuffling behind you, a scrape of boot against wood grain. The pew creaks gently as a figure is seated down, his very presence setting your pulse skyrocketing. 
Joel. 
You'd know it just by the cadence of his walk; that light drag at the end of each step. The scent of leather from his jacket and almond from the soap he uses. The way the air seems to warm and grow heavy where he sits. 
A part of you wants to turn your head, to confirm it's who you think. But the other wants nothing more than for Joel to stay away until the dinner with Ellie. After the way he's been treating you this week you don't want to be anywhere near him and his volatility without her as a buffer. 
You feel the ends of your hair catch against the pew and you shift, running your hand absently through your crown to loosen it as you turn your focus back to Tommy at the front of the chapel. 
"Well to start us off, we got some new blood here tonight and I wanna introduce 'em," Tommy says giving a small smile to the left side of the room. "This is Arthur and Penny. They come from Virginia. They're gonna be helping out in the school and with sanitation. Welcome to Jackson city."
Arthur and Penny stand up in their pew. The two of them give shy waves as the group claps, some calling out well wishes of welcome as Arthur goes pink in the cheeks.
"They're the sweetest couple," you comment. 
"I love her tattoos," Jennifer replies as she claps. "So beautiful." 
The couple sits and the clapping ebbs. Tommy looks down at his piece of paper of notes hurriedly scrawled. 
"Now I'm gonna turn things over to Jacob Linden," he says before stepping down from the podium and taking his place next to Maria. You watch as his arm goes around her, holding her to him. 
Jacob Linden is a sweet man of about sixty with narrow grey eyes and pale blonde hair. He always wears blue jeans and a sweater, even in the heat of the summer. 
His partner passed years before he got to Jackson City and he wears a small locket with his photograph in it to remember him. He touches it now, a little nervously as he steps up to the podium.  
"One of the ideas I've been kicking around is having a bi-weekly music night," the man says almost shyly as he looks around at all the faces. "A time for the town to come gather and listen to people play. Maybe in the dining hall after meals?"
There's murmurs of interest around the room. You and Jennifer exchange smiles at the idea, knowing very well that you'll attend. Jennifer is always going on about how there's nothing to do in the evenings in town except drink. 
"I'm wondering if there are any musicians who'd like to join in?" Jacob asks tentatively. "We'll take turns deciding what tunes to play and you'll have all the coffee and tea you can drink."
You're surprised when amongst a few others, Luke shoots his hand up. Jennifer must be taken aback as well because she leans over to you, her voice warm in your ear. 
"I didn't know he played."
"Me neither."
"Shhhh." 
You both flinch at the volume of Joel's shushing. Several nearby people glance over their shoulders in your direction and you feel your cheeks pink. Jennifer shoots you an admonished look and you hold in your eye roll to the best of your abilities before turning your attention back to Tommy at the front of the church.
"Now, next up, I'm sure you've heard the rumors of Raiders up on the patrol routes."
Gentle whispers move around the room like hissing campfires being extinguished. 
"So I need y'all to be even more vigilant than usual," Tommy explains. "That means you see anything and I mean anything strange, you come and tell me or Maria, Hank or Joel. And you can spread that around." 
You hear him shift on the bench behind you. It's like your ears are so attuned to him that even as Tommy goes over the safety procedures all you can focus on is the shift of Joel's weight in the pew, the scrape of his boots on the ground, the rough way he clears his throat. 
You don't know why but you're pissed off. Maybe you're anxious about the raiders, nervous about patrols tomorrow, whatever it is, you feel like a bow pulled extremely taut and Joel’s presence plucks irritatingly at the string.
"Do you think Luke wants to grab a drink after this?" Jennifer breaks into your thoughts, head tilted towards your shoulder. “I wanna ask him about his playing.”
“Me too, I was-”
Before you can say anything more you hear Joel give that same annoying noise and it feels like it's aimed directly into the back of your head. 
"Shhhh."
For some reason this is your limit. The grating sound has you twisting around in your seat and fixing him with a glare. He sits with his face arranged in a look of casual indifference; you only know that he's paying attention to you by the steady gaze of his dark eyes.
"If you can't hear, sit closer next time," you hiss. "Not our fault you're half deaf." 
You don't miss the sharp intake of breath from Jennifer or the narrowing of Joel’s gaze on your face. 
Before he can say anything back to you, you slide from the pew towards the back of the church. You need a minute to calm down because irritation is boiling your blood. You know you’re going to say something rude if you stick around.
You give polite smiles at the few people you pass on your way out, your feet taking you to where it's quiet in the alcove. You think this is where they must have prepared communion or something similar, but now it just houses extra chairs and tables. The window is barely seen over the dented wood tables with their rusty metal legs. 
You close the door after you, trying to quell the furious beating of your heart.
What the fuck is his problem? Is he so regretful of what happened that night that he’s doubling down on being a prick? And why the fuck is he having you over for dinner if he obviously despises everything you do?
There's a scrape of feet behind you and the air attains that same heavy, warm feeling. You turn, not surprised to see a furious looking Joel closing the door behind him. His lips are twisted into a thin curve of displeasure.
Fuck this.
You go to walk by him when he jerks out an arm, slapping his palm against the wall in front of you and effectively cutting you off from your exit. He stares you down as he cranes his neck towards you, forcing you to keep his gaze. 
"Where do you get off talkin' to me like that?" Joel says between gritted teeth. He looms over you, everything about him saying submit. And normally this would work, normally you would cower but tonight you're at your limit. 
"I'll talk to you any damn way I want," you say, cheeks a blotchy red.
“You sure fuckin’ won’t.”
“I sure fucking will,” you snap back, keeping your voice low enough not to carry into the chapel.
Joel gets up in your face, his nose practically touching yours.
"If you wanna run your goddam mouth, I'm gonna fill it."
It flies out of Joel’s mouth before he's had time to realize what he's said. He regrets it the minute it hits the air. It's there in the telltale opening of his lids just a fraction too wide, is in the pink crawling up his neck. 
But you’re completely over it, over Joel, over the entire situation. He makes you cum how many times? Let’s you open up to him? And now he’s acting as if you’ve done him a cruelty?
Fuck him.
"With what, Joel? Your cock?”
Joel’s eyes fly open wide. 
“I don't want anything to do with you or your cock ever again," you bite off. "You're selfish and arrogant-"
"Enough."
Joel’s jaw is ticking something worrisome, his hands in loose fists at his sides. But he doesn’t intimidate you anymore. He’s just a man like all the rest of them.
"What?” You sneer broadly. “Worried you can only keep it up if the woman’s on her knees doing all the work or half asleep, Joel?”
"Shut the fuck up."
You've never spoken to anyone like this in your entire life, but letting Joel have it right here in this moment feels good.
No, it feels better than good, it feels amazing.
Years of repressed anger and frustration are bubbling to surface and you feel heady, almost powerful from it. It feels better than sex or lust or forgiveness. It flows freely from you like a song, brutally cutting notes that slice into Joel and he winces. 
"It's the truth," you laugh cruelly. "I mean when's the last time you fucked properly without having t-"
You break off as Joel's hands slap on either side of the striped wallpaper beside your arms, coming to box you in against the wall. His face is so thunderous that any laughter in your expression withers away like fruit on a vine. 
There’s the sound of muffled laughter outside of the room in the chapel. Tommy is charming the audience, but all you can focus on is the man in front of you. Of his broad shoulders and muscled arms. Of his steely gaze and wide palms as one slides off the wall and comes to grip your hip.
And before you can properly think, Joel is crowding you against the wall, his pelvis pressing harshly into yours. You stare up at him, body trembling but you’re concerned because it’s not in fear.
Your nipples tighten, your pupils blow wide and all you can focus on is the heavy bulge that he presses between your thighs. 
“You think I can’t make you come like a little slut for me right here and now?”
Joel is breathing heavily through his nose, his gaze on your mouth before flicking to meet your eyes. He continues to pin you there, mouth slightly ajar as he begins to unbutton your jeans, his dark eyes never leaving yours.
His fingers rest on the zipper, pausing only to watch your expression. When moments pass you realize he's waiting for you to tell him to stop, trying to call your bluff. But instead you tilt your head back in silent challenge.
You'd expected fury in the face of your combative non-verbal reply but are met with something altogether different from Joel. 
Lust. 
You see only a flicker of it in Joel's gaze, the darkening of his eyes before his face lowers to yours. His fingers lower the zipper of your jeans and now your bravado leaves you as you tilt away from him, your eyes fluttering. You feel his warm breath on the side of your face, slow and heavy. He waits there, fingers stilled on the zipper’s tongue.
You don’t move, your cheeks flaming as you realize what’s about to happen. You don’t know how to act or what to do.
“Why you actin' all shy now?" Joel mocks against your earlobe. "You think I didn't hear you in the bathroom playin' with yourself all those times on patrol? Think I don’t know how bad you wanna come right now?"
Your face feels so hot you feel it would sizzle if a droplet of water landed on it. Joel has known all this time? Every time you thought you were had privacy he's known? Has likely heard the whimpering cries you give out when you climax. For all you knew he could have been standing outside the door listening. Why does that thought make your stomach swoop? 
"I don't-" you start but the words are sticky on your tongue.
But now the zipper is lowered and his fingers move swiftly down the front of your panties, hitting the slick of your cunt almost immediately and curling. You give a huff of surprise, finding your thighs widening without thought to take more of him. He slides his fingers to the knuckle, groaning when he sees it’s making your eyelids flutter.
"Maybe I don't have to try that hard after all," Joel croons. "Looks like you've been waiting for me."
“Have not,” you deny weakly, jaw clenched and glare fixed on your face.
“Then I should stop,” Joel mocks as his fingers slowly begin to pump in and out of your squelching cunt. “Right?”
You say nothing, finding it near impossible not to touch him. All you can do is cling to his shoulders, fingertips leaving half-moon crescents in his skin through the fabric. Your face is buried in his neck, trying to stifle your moans.
You feel Joel’s smug smile against your temple as his thick finger curl within your velvet slot, his thumb rubbing your clit in time with his pumps. He groans softly when you arch back, hand at his collar for purchase. 
“Fuck, yeah, like that,” Joel chants, his warm breath buffeting your face.
He tilts his head, tongue going to the side of his mouth in thought. You wonder what he sees when he stares down at you, pink cheeks and glassy eyes? The sheer desperation in your glazed expression? You feel your release being coaxed forth, sweet and syrupy but something holds you back.
You feel that ripple of pleasure begin but you nervously tense everywhere and Joel’s face flies towards yours.
"I know what you feel like when you're close," Joel rasps, his full lips crushed against your ear, breath hot. "Don't fight it." 
You feel your pulse ticking wildly in your neck and you wonder if Joel can sense it. But you need something from him, something that you didn’t realize. You turn your gaze to his, imploring.
"Tell me to come," you whisper, hips rutting against his hand. "Please Joel, tell m-me-"
You break off with a sharp gasp and his wide hand immediately goes to cover your mouth, muffling the sounds from escaping into the chapel while the other works between your legs in that same steady way. 
"You're gonna come for me," Joel rasps against your ear. "Right here, with the whole town on the other side of this wall." 
Your eyes roll back in your head at the command, pleasure flooding you everywhere. Joel's fingers are sliding in and out of you, curling to hit that sweet hidden spot your own fingers just can't reach, thumb rubbing your clit. 
"You're gonna come on my fingers right here," he continues, breath hot in your ear when he sees your reaction. "Cuz I said so." 
You can't speak since his hand is still sealed over your mouth but you can nod shallowly, hips rolling as you begin to climb that pleasured peak that has your body tensing. He feels it, his dark eyes moving from your face to where his fingers enter you over and over, curling and coaxing. 
Your hands fist in his flannel when you feel that white stripe of pleasure overtake you. And despite how inappropriate this is you feel yourself falling off the edge.
"Go on then," Joel groans huskily. "Be a good girl and do it."
At those words all that tension that's been building in your lower belly suddenly releases, sending you jerking against Joel, gasping against his palm. 
"Mhm," Joel murmurs approvingly. His praise sets you off, your next orgasm overtaking the first, bleeding into one another and your legs tremble. He holds you in place with his hips, his fingers moving slickly between your thighs. 
Joel's broad hand moves from your mouth to cradle the back of your head, forcing your mouth press against the skin of his neck, muffling your cries. You continue to twitch, your whimpers seeping into his skin like ink on paper.
"Uh huh, just like that," Joel murmurs, his fingers keeping their steady pace as your pelvis ruts against his hand faster and faster. "Just like that.” 
Just like that. Just like that. 
Nothing else exists except for his voice and your pleasure. Not the townspeople, not the warning of Raiders that set you off, not the fear of the unknown. Just Joel's warm, steady voice telling you to come. 
“I know you can gimme another one.”
Just like that night of the snow in, he consumes you leaving you whimpering his name into his neck, fingers gripping his flannel for dear life as he coaxes your next orgasm from you. 
"Give it to me," he demands, groaning as you arch into him. "S’mine." 
Your entire body tenses at that husky order and your release comes over you in waves. Your eyes roll back, and you cry out, your mouth sealed against Joel’s taut neck. You can hear him far away, murmuring that’s right and good fuckin’ girl.
You feel your pussy pulse around his fingers, milking them. Arousal drips down his wrist, his fingers not ceasing their steady continuous rhythm until you give one final shake, exhaling heavily against his palm. 
Finally you go limp and his fingers slow and finally slide from between your legs. You realize that you're still fisting his flannel, your mouth still open against his warm neck. You raise your head, eyes heavy and glazed. You do it just in time to see Joel slide the fingers coated in your glossy arousal between his lips and suck, his eyes fluttering closed. 
Your knees buckle. 
He catches you, a flash of amusement in his honeyed voice.
"Steady," he mutters against your cheek. "Steady." 
You stare up at him, your breathing still deep and uneven as he holds you against him. You tilt your head back slightly so you can better view him.  Joel looks completely fucked out, cheeks flushed, his dark curls falling into his eyes that sweep your face, lingering on your parted lips. Like magnets you feel as he drifts towards you, his mouth so close to yours you can feel the warmth of his breath on your tongue.
 Suddenly the sound of creaking pews, chatter and footsteps sound out.
The meeting is over.
Joel's hands immediately fly from your body at the sound and he steps back, straightening to his full height. The darkness is back in his eyes and that displeased countenance he wears like a mask firmly settles over his features.  
“Don’t wanna keep you from gettin’ drinks with your boyfriend,” he rumbles darkly.
He strides away from you quickly, his boots scuffing along the floorboards until he's outside the room, the door closing behind him with a snick. You assume he’s rejoined the rest of the group as they exit to avoid suspicion, but you can’t do the same because your legs feel like rubber.
You stay leaning against the wall, face flushed and pulse ticking. Your breathing is shaky as you look around the room, the same and yet changed. 
What the fuck just happened? 
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178 notes · View notes
fordaryl · 3 days
Text
Breathe.
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minors dni. spencer reid x fem!reader. angst (drowning). soft confessions. office sex.
after a brush with death, long pent-up feelings are released.
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do not translate or repost.
The small disused space was busy with piled boxes, an archiving chore put aside for an unspecified future day. It made the forgotten room a perfect meeting place when the office had cleared out for the night.
You saved it only for the especially hard days.
The days you needed to see him alone.
He knocks softly, like you aren't the only two left on the floor of the building at this late hour – like he doesn't know you're waiting just for him.
You wring the hem of your cardigan in your hands as he enters, as he closes the door gently behind him and twists the small lock – just to be safe.
Then you're both still. Quiet. Waiting for the other to speak first.
Your lips part. You'd planned to be the first to speak, but instead you suck in an unsteady breath. You're not in control. Not at all.
"That bad?" he asks, taking one big but hesitant step towards you.
Bad? Bad wasn't the right word. He'd meant it like you'd had a rough day in the office. Like you could sleep it off. Like it was just another heavy case and you'd come out a little worn but soon ready for the next.
He'd died.
Your eyes burn with unshed tears.
"Hey," he soothes, closing the distance between you. "I'm fine, really. Coughed up a bit of pool water, that's all. I've got the all clear," he offers you a lopsided smirk, "despite how bacteria ridden the average chlorinated pool is. I don't recommend drinking the water. If you can help it."
You blink up at him as one tear breaks free, spilling over your lower lid and down your cheek.
A complete lack of any minds eye spared you from the image of him laid out on the cold tiles — soaking wet and completely still.
Aphantasia, he'd explained to you one day a few months earlier. A woefully understudied characteristic of some people that meant an inability to visualise.
You've never been more grateful for your deficiency. It was different for him; his memories. Spencer could see them all. You often wondered how he coped.
"You drowned," you whisper into the dark room. "You were dead."
"My heart never stopped, I–"
"Spencer," you interrupt, heart racing. "You weren't breathing. You were so still and I thought I wouldn't—"
"You saved me," he says softly. "I'm okay." He reaches up to your temple and ever so gently brushes some of your hair off your forehead. It's a completely pointless gesture, apart from being the final straw, that is.
The dam bursts as his finger brushes your skin, feather-light. "I can't do it," you gasp. "I can't. I can't do it."
"Please. Please, don't cry." He pulls you against him. "I hate when you cry."
You bury your face in his neck, wetting his warm skin with fresh tears.
"You won't have to do it ever again," he says, misunderstanding your meaning entirely. "No bodies of water for me, promise."
You shake your head, too busy choking on tears to verbally correct him.
"Everything's fine," he soothes. "Ple-ase." The last word comes out a little broken, a crack in his voice splintering the vowels in the middle.
You pull back from him, enough to look up into his sad eyes. "I didn't mean... I mean't..."
His thumbs wipe at your cheeks.
You suck in a shaky breath. "I mean't... I can't feel all this anymore. I'm so afraid." Another shaky inhale. "Every day. Anytime you aren't near me..."
His hands drop from your face. Confused. This was his confused face. He was attempting to interpret.
"I can't make it go away," you whisper. "I love- I love you and every day you might..." He's blinking at you, a lock of wavy hair falling over one of his eyes. You need him to speak now, take some of the weight off you. You're so tired. "I'm afraid," you confess again. "You can't do that again. Please. You can't–"
"You love me?"
You pause, processing his simple words. Then, "You didn't know?"
He blinks. Again, "You... You love me?"
"Yes," you breathe. A release. "Of course. I'm in love with you. I thought you... how could you not know? I—"
"You've never told me."
He says it simply. Like that's the only way he could possibly have known. You didn't tell him, therefore how could he ever interpret your blatant lovesick adoration as anything other than friendly consideration.
Everyone else knew. The entire team had known about your crush from the earliest days. Some of them had known before you had figured it out yourself.
But not him. Apparently.
"I'm sorry," is what you find yourself saying, eyes burning again. You drop your eyes to the floor. "I'd really.... I'd like to stay friends. Please." You pick at a loose thread in your cardigan, a consequence of your nervous habit. "I need you, I think. I think I need you."
Every move he makes after the last word of your confession leaves your lips is incredibly delicate; he's slow and almost cautious as he hooks his fingers under your chin.
He looks sad when your eyes meet his. He's doing that thing that always leave your chest aching. They're big and dark and so, so full of feeling. "Don't cry," he whispers again.
You nod, like you have any control at all. Anything to stop the sad eyes.
Then he's leaning down. His lips ghost against your cheek, just enough to collect a tear. Then the other cheek. Just a brush of soft lips to wet skin. Then he's ghosting over your lips. His final word is so quiet you almost miss it. It's so quiet you aren't entirely sure he meant it for your ears at all.
"Please."
His lips are wet against yours when he finally closes that tiny little gap. It's too much for your entirely overwhelmed and exhausted mind to process properly. Your fingers drop the hem of your cardigan, suddenly lax and completely free of any responsibility.
His hand rests at your lower back. You're grateful for the support, for the grounding. You're not entirely sure that you'd stay standing otherwise.
He's kissing you. Which means... something. It means something that you'll spend many hours thinking about... some other time. Some time when he's not kissing you. Right now, right now you think you'll just think about the way he feels. Or maybe the tiny sound he makes when he steps into you, like he can somehow get closer. Like you weren't sharing a single breath.
You're half convinced you might wake at any moment. Like this might be some fucked up dream your brain has concocted to contrast the cold kiss you'd been forced to share hours earlier as you'd forced oxygen into his lungs.
No.
No, he's too real; too warm and solid. He presses you against the edge of the desk. It cuts into the backs of your thighs.
You're awake.
He releases your lips only to pull you firmly against him, his arms wrapping around you tight. It's a desperate sort of hug. One you might give a loved one after a long separation... or a close call.
You lift your arms to join him, to add an extra layer of security to the embrace—lest someone try and pull you apart.
His lips press into your neck as he buries his face into you. Closer, the action screams. You understand the feeling entirely.
"You love me, too?" you mumble against his skin.
His head moves as he hums. Yes. He loves you.
He loves you.
You grasp at his shirt, the stiff fabric of the dress shirt crumpling in your fingers as you attempt to get a firm hold. You just think you've managed a secure grip when he's tugging you back and pressing his lips to yours again.
It's different this time. Desperate. You understand that, too. Desperate is disorganised. Desperate is irrational. Desperate is messy.
Messy is fine.
Messy is wet kisses and marks on your neck. Messy is the noise the lamp makes when it hits the floor. Messy is the way his hands tug at your cardigan and grip your thighs when he finally has them bare.
Messy is nice.
He's halfway over you eventually, using the desk to lay you out beneath him. "This okay?" he gasps between kisses. "You're okay?"
"Mm," you hum into his mouth. "Yeah. Yeah. I love you."
His lips leave yours in a lingering sort of way, like neither of you are willingly to release the other. But still, he manages it. "We shouldn't do this here," he says, a little breathless. His fingers press into your thighs as he says it.
"But I want to."
He looks at you like he's calculating, interpreting. You know you must look a mess. Your lips feel a little tingly with the nips he's given you. That's something you didn't expect from him. You'd always imagined his kisses to be gentle—sweet and soft.
His eyes drop to your lips like he's heard your thoughts. "Yeah?" he breathes. "You really... you really want to?"
"Please."
His jaw clenches once before he's falling over you, his body weight pressing you into the wood beneath you.
His lips brush against your neck when he speaks next. "Anything you want," he mutters as his fingers trace up your inner thigh.
By the time he finally presses himself inside you, you're on the brink of tears again. You're lost, you realise as he whimpers into your neck. Everything depends on him. You may as well crawl into his chest and make a home there. You're reliant on his survival in the same way you're reliant on your own heart beating.
He whimpers again as you clench around him. "Please," he gasps on an uneven breath. You're not sure what he's asking for. You curl your fingers in his hair. He could be asking for anything at all and you're sure you'd give it to him. Anything at all.
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catsushizz · 20 hours
Text
Let Time Pass - S.R
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Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
Summary: you reminisce about the time when you met Spencer Reid at college and had a night of adventure that you'll never forget, but after that, you never spoke, until Penelope Garcia found your unsent letters and decided to play the savior of your undying love.
Genre: mutual pining, angst if you squint, but mostly fluff
WC: 3.2k
Warning: kissing, cursing, invading private property
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, actually, guess the rom-com that inspired me to write this. I'll give you a hint, the first movie has "sunrise" in the title and the second movie includes unsent letters with addresses hehe.
---
Summer rain has always been your favorite accompanied by the sound of the patter of the raindrops. You looked outside your window with a faraway look, your glasses now above your hair as you took a break from reading the unsent letters.
Unsent letters you wrote when you were in college, being in love with someone for so long who you're not sure still remembers you can be draining, you've loved him since the first time he acknowledged your presence during class and when he took you out of campus when it was just the two of you.
Love comes in forms and somehow Spencer's was when he first spewed those few words to you when you were talking to your friends but they weren't paying attention so you stopped and just sat there embarrassed.
"Wasn't Centralia a town that is still burning to this day?" He had asked and your eyes held the universe at his question. You got his name, Spencer Reid and that name hasn't left your mind ever since then.
Love comes in forms and yours are letters.
After that night, you never spoke again, he got his Ph.Ds and life got in the way. You're pretty sure he doesn't remember you, and you're sure he's got his way with life now, maybe he settled down and you're still pining for a man who you're not sure still remembers you.
You remembered how the night went with him, you actually talked until sunrise. At first, you walked around campus and then explored the city together. He told you about his mom, his goals, everything he hasn't said to anyone, and you told him about everything, your secrets that you haven't said to your best friend yet.
You sighed as you shook yourself out of your reverie, you looked down at your letter and traced the dust off from your neatly written letter.
the letter was a year old, you used to write letters every day when you first met him but when you graduated you never stopped but it became less frequent as time passed. Now you write one letter every year and put it inside a box but this time you decide to stop, finally stop chasing your fantasies and let life slap you in the face.
You laughed at your ridiculousness then you heard the door creek and your gaze landed on your best friend. "Hi Pen" you smiled at her.
Penelope's gaze landed on the box in your hand "What's that?" She asked.
You rolled your eyes and stood up from your couch engulfing her in a tight hug "Stop being nosy and when did you arrive?"
She groaned at the contact "50 minutes ago" you laughed and let go of her.
"were you stuck in a conversation with Mom?" She nodded and let her gaze drift off to the box again.
"Seriously, is that your box from college? You never let me touch it and can you please let me see it, I'm older than you, in case you forgot" she insisted as she made the gesture of getting it out of your grasp.
You smacked her in her arms and hissed "No, and you'll never touch this, I don't care how old you are" You glared at her but it held no threat.
"Fine, dinner is ready your Mom asked me to get you" she grumbled and you let out a huff of amusement.
Penelope was never nosy when it came to you but it's been years since you've ever been with someone and she had a hunch that the box had something to do with it.
"Go on ahead I'm going to change in the bathroom," Penelope said straight up lying in front of your face. You didn't question it as it seems believable, perks of working with profilers.
You only hummed and you made a mistake by putting the box inside your closet without locking it. As soon as you left Penelope got out of the bathroom and searched for your box which wasn't hard to find.
She made sure you were completely out of sight before opening it, she didn't know what she expected but surely it wasn't this. Her jaw went slack as she read through your letters from when you were in college until last year, some were long and some were short, with dates in the corner of each letter.
Spencer Reid, her Mighty professor, Her boy genius.
You stopped, why did you stop? She thought while she read through the recent content. She had to do something about it, she had to help you.
Penelope breathed in, fixed her hair in the mirror, and got out of the room, pretending as if she hadn't shoved a box inside her bag and invaded her best friend's privacy, she's doing it for you so it can't be that bad right?
You were laughing at something your dad said but stopped when you saw how unsettled Penelope was "Pen what's wrong?" You asked, your voice laced with concern.
Now she felt guilty, she felt like throwing up but this was for you. "Nothing, I- I just uh, need to go I feel like I forgot something at home" she stammered as she made her way to the door.
"What? Let me drive you home" You stood up from your seat, your mom and dad looking between you two with suspicion in their eyes.
"No!" Penelope abruptly exclaimed, her hand flailing around for you to stop, making you and your parents flinch at the volume of her voice.
She cleared her throat and pushed her bag away from sight which didn't go unnoticed by you "I can drive myself and besides I got something to drop off at a friend's house" she chuckled awkwardly.
You hesitantly sat back down and nodded "Okay... Call me when you get home" You smiled at her and she nodded. She didn't change her clothes but you thought none of it, maybe that was the thing that she forgot.
---
Spencer was lounging on his couch when he heard the loudest knock he had ever heard in his entire life. His brows knitted together as he peeped at the peephole of his door before opening it.
"Garcia?" He mumbled while looking at the frantic girl in front of him, if he didn't know any better she would've murdered someone but that was just a silly thought.
Penelope pushed Spencer inside urgently and pushed a box against his chest, he had to balance himself at the force.
"What's this?" He asked, confusion evident on his face. Penelope sighed and she sat down on the couch with her hand on her face.
"Do you remember a girl in college?" She muttered, her voice barely visible but he heard her.
"You need to be more specific than that, Penelope" Spencer said and pursed his lips as he put the box on the table and sat down beside her.
Penelope frowned as she looked at Spencer "A girl who you spoke to once and never heard from ever again" she said, her body fully facing him.
She noticed his expression doesn't change and she groaned "For a person who has an eidetic memory, you're shit at remembering" she grumbled.
Spencer looked offended "What?! You're the one talking about a girl without context, do you know how many people I spoke to at college? 80% of those people-" Penelope clicked her tongue and signaled for him to stop.
She took the box from the table and pushed it back to his chest which made him glare at her, she ignored him.
"Open it" she demanded. Spencer studied her tense figure and the way she was trying to hug herself to make herself feel better.
"I feel like you stole something that isn't yours-" he said but found himself being cut off by Penelope's hissed.
"Stop profiling me and open the damn box" she whined as she stood up from the couch and paced around his apartment.
Spencer shook his head as he finally opened the box. He looked at Penelope in confusion and when he saw it was a bunch of old letters.
"Whose this for?" He questioned.
"For you, obviously! I wouldn't have brought it to you if it weren't addressed to you" she exclaimed.
"But there isn't any address on these" he shuffled through the letters, they were still in the envelopes.
"Just read it!"
"Garcia, you do know you just invaded someone's privacy right?"
"I know, just read it. Please?"
Spencer sighed and nodded his head. He started on the first letter that was technically open and he let his gaze back to Garcia who was now sweating in guilt.
When he opened it, he felt his heart beginning to thump. Garcia watched him carefully as she noticed his expression gradually changed.
Dear, Spencer Reid
Do you remember when you first talked to me? I remember thinking that you're the kind of man I'm willing to put my life at risk for. I'm sure you endured me rambling about the burning town (that is still burning to this day apparently and it's been 7 years since we last spoke)
But what I'm trying to say is, I'm still in love with you, pathetic I know. But I just can't seem to let you go, you're like impossible not to remember and each day I try to forget about you and move past my ability to love so deeply but I can't.
Do you remember when you talked to me about your mom? I was so proud of you for coming up that far for your mom, and when we sneaked in on a bar and actually stole a bottle of wine? I couldn't stop laughing that time. God, I keep recalling that memory.
I shared all of my thoughts with you, spilled all my secrets to you, and at some point we held hands and I was so shocked because you told me you had a thing with germs. Honestly, it made me feel special.
I'm scared that if I see you again you'll think I'm weird and obsessive, which I'm not! I can stomach a rejection and I'll completely leave you alone if you ask me to. I'm just really bad at letting people go you know?
But I won't drag this on for long, you're not gonna see this anyway, and one last thing, I hope you have the best life the universe has to offer. I'll talk to them face to face if they are mean to you.
This will be my last letter, I'm letting you go now. I've been so in love with you that I feel like I'll be stuck in a loophole where life is trying to berate me every time for not saying anything to you, for not congratulating you when you graduated because I was feeling too shy to approach you that day. I wish I had, then maybe we could've talked more and had the time of our lives and maybe a repeat of what we did when we first met.
I'm just hoping life is a little bit gentler with you this time.
Yours truly
The girl who you talked to until sunrise
When he finished reading the letter he was silent for a good 3 minutes, and then he started shuffling through the letters and read them all like a madman. Penelope had to stop herself from stopping him.
God did he remember you, fucking hell he remembers you. You've been on his mind for 8 years. He even found himself in tears, he didn't expect someone to love him this much. Yearn for him like he yearns for you.
Spencer wasn't the type of guy who got over things easily and he had come to accept it as a part of him, the pair of you spoke once yet he can't deny the spark he felt while talking to you. If it were anybody else he would've found a way to get out of the conversation but your voice was addicting and so was your ramble about the old town.
He even went as far as to pretend not to know about the things that happened within that town just so he could hear your voice a little while longer. Your conversation shifted as time passed and Spencer found himself talking about anything really, he even made jokes that you found funny and he couldn't ignore the flutter in his stomach when he saw you smile.
When he saw you under the first light of the day, he felt himself fall in love, even if the time was fleeting his love wasn't, it never was.
Every time he was on death's door, you were always the subject of his memories. He keeps recalling the night when he felt like the universe was in his favor only for it to laugh at his face when he didn't see you again.
"I can help you, she's at the bar right now, she texted me," Penelope said, snapping him back down on earth.
He wiped a stray tear and sniffled "No, it's too late, she stopped writing like a year ago" he muttered and Penelope noticed the pain in his voice.
"Don't be ridiculous, I know her, she could be writing a letter right now as we speak" Penelope laughed.
"At a bar?"
"It was a joke, Spencer. Now let's go get your girl, Prince Charming!" She grinned as she dug through her bag for her keys.
"I don't know... I feel like I'm just digging my own grave, Garcia. I can't bear to hear her say that she doesn't feel the same way anymore" He whispered, his voice small as he avoided Penelope's disapproving look.
"That girl watches rom-coms, Spence. Do you think she'll brush off her feelings that easily? Try watching Serendipity and come back to me and try again but right now we need to hurry" She grabbed his arms and dragged him out of his apartment.
She stopped when they got into her car "Promise me you won't tell her I gave you the letter" she said sternly.
"But how am I supposed to explain why I'm there?" He asked confused.
"You're a genius, figure it out," she said as she buckled her seatbelt.
---
You were sitting in a booth with your friends. After having dinner with your parents, your friends invited you to a bar where you felt inclined to come, but you didn't know how to decline.
The air was suffocating so you excused yourself and got out of the bar. You sigh as your gaze shifts to the sky, Spencer would've pointed you to the constellation that was present right now.
"The one you're looking at right now is Aquila" You whipped your head to the familiar voice and you heard yourself gasp.
Spencer smiled when your eyes met "The brightest star in the constellation is Altair" he said as he began walking towards you.
"There is a story of an old Chinese legend about two stars, Altair and Vega, In the story two people met and fell in love but were separated by the stars" he was now in front of you, his hands in his pajama pocket, he turned red as he realized what he was wearing.
"What are you doing here?" You said, at a loss for words. He looked different but not in a bad way. He looked good. Hot even.
Spencer chuckled awkwardly, he always knew you were beautiful but God, you are gorgeous now.
You averted your gaze when you noticed a figure in the distance then your blood ran cold when you saw Penelope, Spencer noticed.
"Don't be mad at her, she helped me find you" he defended urgently as he grabbed your arms. You knitted your brows together.
"How d- did you two meet?" You stammered.
"We worked together" he rubbed his nape, a nervous tick that you notice.
Spencer was so sure he knew what to say to you but now that you're actually in front of him, he was left speechless.
"I never told her about you- did you read the letters?!" You exclaimed, your hand flying to your mouth in shock.
Spencer looked guilty as he averted his gaze to the ground "Yes..." He trailed off.
"God, you must think I'm crazy" you grumbled as you kept fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt.
"Hey, I don't think you're crazy" he whispered as he cupped your face with his hand "I actually find it endearing that you still think of me to this day, and just so you know you haven't left my mind either" he softly said, his face was so close you could feel his breath hitting your cheeks.
He tucks a stray hair out of your face, his eyes holding adoration as he meets your eyes again "Really?" You whispered.
His eyes darted to your lips and he felt himself subconsciously lick his lips "Yeah" he muttered.
He brushed his lips against yours as if testing the waters and when you fluttered your eyes shut, he kissed you as if he was going to devour you.
He breathed in as he kissed you, a certain longing lingered in the air. He pulled away to take a breath but then you surged forward and connected your lips against him for the second time, his hand on your waist as he pushed you closer against him, your hand snaking its way to the hair on his nape as you tugged him closer making him groaned in the kiss.
He tugged on your bottom lip asking for permission which you granted and he slid his tongue in, you tasted so sweet he found himself starting to get addicted. You were a panting mess when both of you separated, his forehead resting against yours, your eyes still closed as you took deep breaths.
Spencer rubbed his nose against yours affectionately and you giggled "You know you'll be stuck with me for a long time right?" You muttered.
"Make it forever" he grins, he connects his lips back to you but this time it is softer than the first, you kiss him back as you both fall in a rhythm.
When you pulled back he chased your lips and that made you chuckle "I'm still mad at her for stealing my letters" you muttered.
"Don't be, please. She's the reason I get to see you again" he said as he pulled you in a hug, your head resting against his chest as he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.
"And I can't believe you were about to give up on me" Spencer joked lightly and you poked him on his hip making him jolt in surprise.
"Hey! Not fair, what was I supposed to do?" You whined and he laughed.
"to make it seem fair" he looks down on you as you meet his gaze, still in his warm embrace "I wrote about you in my journal, all my journals are full of you" he smiled.
You gasp "what? Let me read it please? you've read my letters" you pleaded.
He hummed "Nope, come on Penelope's waiting in the car" he said as he leads you to Penelope's car with his hand on your back.
"That's totally unfair, but I will snoop around"
"No, you won't"
"You snooped on my letters without my permission, so it's right that I should too," you said smugly.
"Shouldn't you be doing that to Penelope?"
"Oh yeah, let's do it"
-----
Please interact and reblog my post if you like it, it makes me happy hehe :D
The divider is from @cafekitsune :)
222 notes · View notes
Text
Old Lovers
𖤐Pairing: Husband! Price x Wife! Reader
𖤐Pronouns: She/Her
𖤐Warnings: fluff, smut, angst, language, old married couple, meet cute, eating out, P in V, dirty talking, kissing, children, blowjob, fingering,
𖤐Summary: The years of husband Price and his wife Y/n
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September 84' (The Meet Cute)
John Price, starting to join the military at the age 18. He didn't want to work in a corporation, he wanted to help his country and help his family.
He sits at the bar with his mates, joking around and drinking. One of his mates was trying to bet John into picking up girls. John wasn't really there for girls, he was just here to have fun and drink with his friends.
Price looks around and sees a girl his age sitting alone, her finger circled the rim of her glass, she looked bored or waiting on someone. She looks at the door hearing the bell ring, but soon looked disappointed when it wasn't who she thought it was.
"Hey, go get her number," his mate says, slinging his arm over Price shoulders.
"What? No, what if she's waiting on someone?"
"She probably is, but have you seen anyone come to her in the last 20 minutes? No. Go talk to her, hot shot," Price's friend encouraged him.
Price downed his drink and slammed the glass on the bar counter, and walking towards her, her chin rested in her palm as he sits next to her.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi," she says back, but looking back at the TV still on the wall.
"You waiting on someone? My mates and I saw you and you've been here close to an hour now...are you waiting for a date?" He asked.
"I am...were you stalking me?"
"N-No, I wasn't sorry, I guess that came out wrong. I've just noticed that...nah, nothing I'll say next will be better," he says.
"Yeah," she turns back to the TV's.
"Sorry, I'll start again. I'm John," he puts his hand out, she looks down at his hand seeing it all scared and calloused and then back at his eyes.
"I'm Y/n."
"Nice to meet you...so...date?"
"He told me around 8, it's almost 9...guess I'm getting stood up."
"No...I'm here...why not hang out with me?"
"And your friends?" Y/n looks passed Price seeing them all hit each other or headlock one another.
"Nah, just me...their...idiots," John says.
Y/n smiles at Price leaning on her knees close to John. He smirks at her as her hands then go to his knees.
"I guess...we can hang out."
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Y/n held a pool stick in her hand and Price leaned over the pool table hitting the Cueball and hitting the triangle of balls till one went into a pocket. He then comes to Y/n his hand going onto her waist.
"Have you ever played pool before?"
"A few times, but I'm never that good," she says.
"Guess, I'm solids," he says, leaning back over the pool table. "I can show you how to play?"
"Thanks," she says as he missed.
She leans over the pool table, Price behind her, his hand on her waist and the other where her hand rested on the pool stick.
"You wanna move the stick back and forth like this, try not to accidently hit the white ball and then...boom..." he says as the white ball hit against hers landing in a pocket. "There you go," he tells her.
They played pool for a little bit going on 3 rounds of it till Price won one, yeah, beginners luck maybe, but Y/n had won two rounds.
"Are you happy you won?" She teased him.
"Very...you wanna...come back to my place, maybe?"
"Sure," she says with a smile on her face and her hands resting on his belt.
"Woah, risky?"
"Not just yet."
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Price had Y/n pinned up against the wall of his apartment. He had rented an apartment close to the base he worked on, his hands going up her skirt feeling the lacy panties she was wearing.
He hasn't had sex in a hot minute but he was ready and so was Y/n. He stops and she strips out of her dress.
John smirks seeing her bare breasts on display for him and her hip dips looking sexy, he goes on his knees kissing between her thighs and biting at her soft flesh.
He smirks looking up at her as his hands gripped her ass earning a soft moan from her lips.
"Fuck," he cusses.
He picks her up taking her to his bedroom setting her on his bed and pulling her to the edge pulling her panties off and getting a view of her pussy.
"Holy shit."
"What?" She was scared.
"Oh n-nothing bad...it's been a while since I've done it so," he licks his lips and starts licking between her folds. "And she looks cute," he says talking about her clit.
She tosses her head back and moans, her fingers getting tangled into his short hair.
He groans into making out with her clit. Licking her bud and suckling on it here and there.
"Don't stop," she moans.
"Wasn't planning on it," he says, kissing her clit and licking it. Her head goes back against the mattress, her legs wanting to close around his head.
She was close and Price knew. He then shoves his tongue in and out of her, earning moans from her. Price could feel her squeezing around his tongue he groans when he felt like his tongue might get cut off.
He pulls his togue out and cum leaks from her clit. He smirks licking her clean, but cum kept coming from her.
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90' (Proposal)
Price was messing with the velvet box in his jacket pocket. He was nervous, he was going to propose to Y/n. They've been together for 6 years now, and today was the day he was going to make her his fiancé.
He had asked Y/n to meet him at their place. Their 'place' is a little pond in a park, there was a white bench Y/n and Price had sat on and feed the ducks in the pond for hours, it was one of their most peaceful dates and every now and then would come back to this pond to just talk and that's all Price was going to do was just...talk.
"John," he hears Y/n's soft voice. He looks up and sees her in a cute summer dress.
"You look gorgeous," he says to her.
"Thank you," she says, kissing his lips and sitting with him on the bench. "How come you wanted to meet here? Why not at home?"
"Just...wanted to talk," he says.
"Okay...about what?" She asked him.
"Life...I want to...Y/n I'm gonna be straightforward, I want to spend my life with you, entirety with you, you make me happy ever since the bar where we first met, all dates before, I love you Y/n, you know I do, and I know you love me. I want...to spend my life with you forever. I love you, I want you to have my children, I want to grow old with you, I want everything with you...you make me so, so, fucking happy. When I'm gone on deployment all I think about is you, and how am I going to make it up to you for being gone for so long."
Price then starts to get on one knee back straight pulling the velvet box from his pocket, he opens the box showing off the most beautiful ring she's ever seen before. Her hands cup over her mouth in shock and awe.
"John."
"Y/n L/n...would you please...make me the happiest man of Earth and...marry me?"
"Yes, yes, yes, hundred times yes," she gets off the bench and bends down kissing his lips and he slides the ring on her finger.
"It looks gorgeous on you," he says, kissing her lips again.
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2000 (Wedding)
It hasn't been that stressful, all of Price's and Y/n's family took care of all the plans of wedding, whatever they wanted their families would try and do for them.
All Y/n and Price had to do was get their dress and tuxedo.
Y/n was in the bride suite nervous as hell. She was pacing back and forth in the suite, she was biting her thumbnail and the door opened and her mom and step dad.
"What's wrong, honey? Her mom asked.
"I'm just nervous."
"I get it, I was nervous marrying your mom."
"You're not helping, Chris."
"Sorry."
"Honey, we are right in the crowd if you want to stop this."
"I don't want it to stop. I love him, I'm just-I've never been married before, my nerves are just shot...I need a drink."
"Don't drink before you get married," her mom says.
"A shot of vodka."
"No vodka."
"Mom!" Y/n groans.
"We need to get going," Chris says, putting his arm out for Y/n to take. "He's waiting for you."
Chris was always there for Y/n, treating her like his own daughter. Y/n's dad cheated on her mom when she was 4 months pregnant with her. She did everything on her own and once Y/n was born, she met Chris, and he became Y/n's father for her, being a father figure she needed in her life.
Everyone stood up in the crowd and looked at Y/n, she hated that everyone was staring at her but she knows it's for a good reason, Chris's hand landed on hers.
"Everything will be okay."
"I know," she whispers.
Once they made it to the end of the aisle Chris handed Y/n over to John. Y/n's veil was still covering her face and then the Priest started to talk.
"Now do you John Price, take Y/n L/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do."
"And Y/n L/n do you take John Price to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"And now with the power invested in me...you may now kiss your bride," Price lifts Y/n's veil exposing her beauty to him, he smiles leaning down and kissing her lips, both families cheered as the veil then draped over Price.
John then picked Y/n up carrying her down the aisle.
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The rest of the night was just a big party for everyone. Everyone dancing having a good time. John and Y/n sat at the Bride and Grooms table looking at everyone dance.
Y/n had changed from her big dress that weighed more than her to a short white dress that was light and stopped at her mid-thigh, Price's hand rested on her smooth thigh pitching at the skin every so often.
Her small hand rested on his as he messes with her.
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Price held Y/n against his bare body, they laid on their shared bed, it was soft and comfortable. His tongue grazed her lips, they haven't been off each other since the party. His hands touching her body, her hands resting on his shoulder as they just been making out since they've got home.
"God, you're so hot."
"In what way?" She pushed.
"You know, your body is warm, you tongue is hot, and this," his hand goes between her thighs, she moans throwing her head back. "She's so fucking hot, wet."
"J-John."
"Come on, all we've been doing is making out, I want sex," he says sitting up, putting her legs on either side of his, hands smoothing down her thighs and stomach.
Price leans over her kissing her lips and aligning himself at her entrance slowly pushing into her. She moans into the kiss her legs wrapping around his waist.
He starts to thrust, at a fast pace, she moans and grips his arms leaving nail marks into his skin.
"AH!" She moans.
Price kissed her jaw, and her neck earning soft moans from her, his tips hitting her spot just right, he sits up holding her waist trusting harder and faster into her.
"Fuck," she puts her head back.
"God you make me so fucking horny, it's impossible to comprehend," he says.
He starts going faster making her feel weak under him but she loves him and will do anything for him just the same just the same for her. She grips the pillow behind her head as she feels herself about to come soon.
"God," he moans and then pulls out seeing cum leak from her and his tip.
Y/n sits up and gets on her hands and knees and starts licking his tip. Price put his head back and placed his hand on the back of Y/n's head. She bobs her head up and down as he then starts to gently squeeze her ass and then slowly start to stick two fingers into her.
She moans around his cock, he also groaned when feeling the vibrations around his cock. Price then bucks his hips up, his tip hitting the back of her throat and coming into her mouth.
She moves her mouth and cum leaking from her mouth along with some drool.
"Fuck, you look so fucking hot with my cum in your mouth," he says, cupping her chin to make her look up at him and cum leaking from the corners of her lips.
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04' (First Pregnancy)
Y/n hasn't been feeling good for an entire month, she went to her doctor about and told her about a potential pregnancy, but John is away on deployment, and has been for a month, it might have happened before he left.
She never did bring up the fact she was sick to him, so he didn't have to worry about her. She sits on the toilet lid looking at her hands as the pregnancy test laid on the sink. She waited for 10 minutes.
It was 5 for it to developed but she was too afraid to look at it. Her and John haven't talked about kids. She looks at the test, she'll have to look at it at some point.
She gets off the toilet lid and looked down at the pink test.
Positive
After the one she took about 4 more to be certain! And each one came back positive.
She paced around the bedroom as she was making a gift to send to Price. With every test and then a onesie saying "You're gonna be a daddy" on it. But she also was thinking about not telling him, but he'll know.
He'll find out whenever he comes back, seeing her plump in the belly carrying his child.
Fuck it.
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A Week Later
"Hey, Lieutenant Price you've got mail, it's from your wife," everyone in the barracks all oh and awe at Price as he gets up and grabs the box from his Captain.
He heads back to his bed, placing the box on his lap and opening it after smiling at your handwriting. He then looks down into the box and smiles seeing what contains. He pulls out a smaller box and opening it seeing the pregnancy tests and then the black onesie with white lettering on it.
"Hey Price, what get?" His mate asked seeing everything. "Holy shit."
"I'm going to be a dad...I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!" He yells as everyone cheered Price.
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2 Months Later
Once Price back home, he stares at the house knowing what contains inside now is his pregnant wife. She's two months pregnant. Price sees the door open and Y/n came out.
"John," he puts everything down and hugs her body.
"Holy shit, honey, you're pregnant!"
"I know," she giggles, she's glad Price isn't upset with her, but how could he? He could never be upset with her. "You're not mad are you?"
"Why would I? When I proposed I said I want you to carry my babies, I'm glad you're carrying my child," he placed his hands on her stomach, it was barely plump. He bends down on his knees close to her stomach.
"Hey baby...it's me your daddy...I can't wait for you to be here, I can't wait to show you so many things, I can't wait for you to either be a boy or a girl, I don't care...I can't wait for you," he kissed her belly.
"Come on, Solider...let's get inside."
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9 Months Later
Y/n was in pain, so much of it, she tried to roll on her side but the doctors wouldn't allow her, Price held her hand and could only watch her with sorry eyes as for how much she was in, her head leaned to him and he placed his left hand on the side of her head and kissed her.
"I'm sorry, love, everything will be okay, I promise, you are strong and I am so proud of you, okay?"
"John."
"Yes?"
"Shut up before I rip your tongue out," she says through painful groans. He knows she doesn't mean it but it was still a threat.
"I see the head, one more push, Mrs. Price," Y/n did just that giving a big push. "It's a boy!"
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Y/n held her newborn baby boy in her arms, John laid next to her looking at his wife and son.
"You didn't really mean you were gonna rip my tongue out were you?"
"When did I say that?"
"Not too long ago."
"Sorry, honey, must have been just the moment," Y/n says, cupping his chin and kissing his lips. "I didn't mean it," she says.
"Sure...mama is a bit scary sometimes, little Beau," Price says, rubbing his nose and Beau's tiny forehead.
"I'm not scary."
"You can be," he says, kissing Y/n's forehead.
"Nah, I'm not scary, baby," Y/n says holding her baby up and kissed his chubby cheeks.
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A few Months later
Price had stayed home from deployment ever since Beau was born. Beau was always stuck to his mom, Y/n could barely put his down for a minute without having to be yelled at by her son asking to be held.
"Hey, don't yell at your mother," Price says as he picks up Beau who was still crying for Y/n.
"John."
"He's such a mamas boy, hey why not ask for daddy, huh? I'm here to," Y/n giggles at Price.
"He's a baby, he doesn't know any better," she says, taking Beau from Price.
"See now he's quiet...those are mine you're laying on," Price says, referencing to Y/n's breasts, Beau has made claim as his pillow, even though they were Price's first.
"My boobs aren't pillows for anyone," she says.
"They were mine first," Price says, leaning closer to Beau.
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September 11' (Price's Promotion to Captain)
Price stood on stage as General Shepherd was promoting him from Lieutenant to Captain. Price has worked so hard to become where he is. He looks into the crowd seeing his wife sitting his with his 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter Iris.
He smiles at his family and continued to stand tall as he was given a metal for his honor, bravery, and one for being Captain of Task Force 141. A new force Price was going to be in charge of which would be an honor for him to do.
After the ceremony Iris came running up to her father. He bends down picking up Iris putting her on his hip and Beau hugged Price's legs.
"I'm so proud of you," Y/n says, placing her hand on Price's chest and kissed his lips.
"Thank you, love," he says.
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9:00PM
Once going home all Price wanted to do was celebrate but not by party no, no, not at all.
"AH! AH! J-John wait," Y/n was pinned on her back as Price was trusting fast into her.
"No waiting. I've waiting to do this all fucking day," he growls pinning her hands above her head.
Y/n's legs wrapped around his waist. They weren't young like before, Price was hurting after they did it before Iris came along. His back was hurting along with his legs, he was sore for a while.
"Y-You're going t-to hurt yourself a-again," she says.
"I'm fine, I'm a grown man, I can handle a bit of pain," he says.
"A weeks worth?"
"Less talking more fucking," he growls moving a bit faster.
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23' (Beau's Graduation)
Beau had graduated and Y/n was a crying mess and Price stayed strong and Iris...she could careless.
"My baby boy."
"Mom, please."
"Y/n, let the boy breath."
"I'm sorry."
"I'll still be home before I go to Uni."
"I know, I know, it just seemed like yesterday you were just a baby."
"Mom," he groans again.
Beau had picked a college all the way in California...Berkley. Y/n was proud of him, but wished he could have found a college close to home.
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2 weeks now, 2 weeks and Beau and his family were in the airport waiting for beau to board his flight. Y/n hasn't let Beau go since they walked passed through the doors.
"Mom."
"Don't you mom me, I'm going to miss you baby."
"I know, but I'll visit, you know I will," Beau looks up at Price.
"You did good kid," he says, messing up Beau's dirty blond hair.
"And you don't put stress on mom and dad," he says to Iris.
"Yeah, yeah, go on before mom changes her mind."
"On what?" Y/n sounded offended.
"To even let him board the plane."
"Sure, bye," Beau says as he waves to his family. Y/n held Price's waist as they watched him go through the gate to his flight.
"I'm gonna miss him."
"I know, love," Price says.
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34' (Old Hearts)
Price is sitting on the front porch of his little home, he built for him and Y/n, they were living in Yorkshire now, their kids are grown up, they have 5 grandchildren and they are living happily in the middle of Yorkshire.
Price's eyes were closed listening to the birds and watching the sun fall in the distance. Price had retired after the Military when he was 45, he's close to 70 now, and Y/n was 67.
"John...I made your favorite."
"Shrimp Alfredo?" Price opens his eyes and looks at his wife standing in the door way of their home.
"You know it, come on," Price's back was hurting him that's what he gets for being old and working so hard in the military.
Y/n was giving him a plate as he sat at the table. Price's legs became weak and he couldn't stand up for a long period of time, so he always had to sits as for Y/n she was perfectly fine, even though she was older, she still felt young in her heart.
"Thank you, love," he says, as she leans down to kiss his lips.
"You're welcome," she says.
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Price sits on the couch turning the TV on and watching a random show that popped up, pulling the lever on the side of his recliner, he was laid back and his eyes became heavy.
"John, do you want desert?" She asked with a bowl of ice cream in her hands.
"No, thank you, love," he says, moving his hand to her lower back and gently rubbing her back.
"You sure?"
"Yes," he says, giving her a small smile.
"Whatcha watching?" She asked, sitting down on the couch next to his chair.
"I don't know...Beau might know what it is."
"Maybe...speaking of, Iris and Henry are coming over tomorrow with the kids."
"Oh good, haven't seen them in a while," he says, eyes wide open now. Price didn't like Henry, there was something about Henry he didn't like, but could never tell anyone, but he doesn't let it be known to Y/n every now and then.
"I don't like Henry," Price says.
"I know, love, you tell me almost every week," she says, she digs the spoon into the ice cream and brought it to Price's lips which he leans over and takes off the spoon.
"Why don't you?" She asks.
"I'm not sure, I just don't trust him," Price says.
"Is it because he's a scrawny little man?"
"You said it I didn't."
"That's just her type, Price, like how mine is an retired military man," she teased.
"You still have some spark in you after this many years?"
"Just a bit," she teased.
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10:00AM
The next morning Y/n was fixing cookies for her grandchildren, she soon sees a car pull up into the gravel road.
"John! They're here!" She calls wiping her hands and John comes into the living room claiming his chair before his grandkids could, kicking the leg rest up and turning the TV on.
"Hi!" Y/n says.
"Hi, mama," Iris says, hugging her mom and her grandchildren ran passed to go bother John.
"GRANDPA, GRANDPA!!" They yelled. He gives them a smile as Iris and Henry came in.
"Hi, Mr. Price," Henry says, waving and sitting on the couch. Price rolls his eyes and scoffs making his grandchildren laugh.
"Grandpa, can you tell us a story?"
"One from your military years."
"Sure, kiddos," he picks up the youngest which was Avery who looked up to her grandpa and Jake made himself comfortable on the arm of Price's chair.
"How's dad doing?" Iris asked with a glass full of milk and looked at her father in his chair telling his stories to his grandkids.
"His legs are hurting him badly. The doctor said he needs to use a wheelchair or some sort of chair instead on walking without any assistance, but you know your dad, he's stubborn," Y/n says.
"Dad, you need to start using a chair."
"Eh! I'll use one when I'm dead."
"Dad!" She groans. Price plays around too much when it comes to death, he isn't scared of death, that went out the window when he started the military, he realizes he could have died at any moment during his deployments but never has, now that he is older 70 years old, he just expects death to here soon.
"Price, don't say that around your grandchildren."
"Eh! I'm only kidding," he says, waving his hand at the two women.
"Don't you wave me off, John Price," Y/n warns.
"Grandma can be scary sometimes," he tells his grandchildren who just laughed.
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Gone Days
Beau and Iris stared looking down at the two graves in front of them. Seeing their parents names on them and the years they were born to the years they've passed.
Price passed before Y/n and Y/n passed of a broken heart which put her in a depressive state, she was glad to see her family one last before she passed.
Beau placed roses on Y/n's grave which were her favorite and Iris dumped half a bottle of whiskey on her dads grave, before she took a swig and handing it off to her brother to also take a shot in their parents honor.
"Thank you..." Iris says.
"For everything," Beau finishes.
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polyestercleaner · 2 days
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COME CLOSER. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
|Summary:Your first time having sex with joost, little does he know you've been hiding something from him.
|Content Warning⚠️:Angst turns to smut, SH scars, p in v, creampie, fingering if you squint
You're pushed against the door of your bedroom, his tounge was deep inside of your mouth, his hands roaming your waist, the ushanka on his head falling to the floor, a gentle thump. You whimper into his mouth as he moves from making out with you to sucking on the flesh on your neck, "joost.." you throw your head back, whimpering and moaning softly, "come here" joost pushes you towards the bed, your in a daze before realizing that what joost was trying to do is pull your pants down, you quickly shuffle, pulling your body away from the bed as you hold onto your pants, your breath hitching as you take sharp breaths, "W-what?" Joost sits up, his expression is confused, he's not mad, or upset, simply confused. "Whats wrong liefde?" You brush the hair that slightly covered your face away, breath still unsteady. "I can't. I don't think I'm ready, if you know.." he nods slowly, "listen I get that but it's been almost 9 months, and I wont pressure you, but you have to tell me if there's a reason you don't want this, I mean. Each time this happens you're always so nervous." A moment of silence fills the room, he pats the side of the bed, gesturing for you to sit. "Come sit schat" you sigh. You know you can't hide what's underneath what you wore everyday. "Whats wrong? Hm?" He pulls your hands into his, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your palm. You felt your eyes begin to burn, your breath hitching, your lips part, your thoughts completely stop.
" I'm struggling with something." He nods, he's silent. He's waiting for what you're going to say, and that's that. The silence was enough for everything to seep out of you, everything you've been trying to hold together into both of your palms, seeped through and past your fingers. And you can't do anything but watch. You let your head fall forward, your eyes flying to your face, your tears are all out. And he's there watching it unfold. God he must think your pathetic.
Your quickly pulled into a hug, "now now. It's okay." You stiffened and shook in his embrace. What else could you do?
"I'm sorry. I'm..so sorry this isn't what you signed up for is it.?" Your voice breaks between words. You meant it. How could you let him love you knowing your body was too broken to ever be loved. That's what you thought. But that's not what he thought was it.? "This is what I signed up for okay? Just tell me what happened,I'll love you no matter what alright?" You nodded, you nodded harshly and you looked up at him, you've always wondered how he'd keep up a smile no matter what.
"I wanna show you something, promise you won't be upset?-promise you won't leave!"
You pulled away from him and you waited for an answer. You weren't gonna show him unless you knew he wasn't gonna run away or something. He nodded once again. And gently stroked your waist. "Go on pretty." You get up. Joost looks up at you, sat on the bed. His smile is soft, his facial expression is gentle. Like he's confident whatever your gonna show him wont make him think any less of you. You place a hand on your sweatpants, slipping them down slowly. His eyes go wide. You squint your eyes shut and stiffle in the cries you wanna let out. "Oh no,pretty come here" your quick to sit back down, his eyes are on your thighs. fingers stroking over your scars. You look at him. Your eyes are red. And the tears don't stop. They feel like they'll never stop. His face is calm. You can't read through him. "It's okay, it's okay." He pulls you into a hug, you don't cry. You don't do anything. You just sit there in eachothers arms. "Am I ugl-"
"Absolutely not." You nod, "it's fine if you think it's bad okay it's fi-"
"Your gorgeous okay? You want me to prove that to you?" You pull away slightly, you look up at him, your eyes are glossy, your tears are still there and he chooses to brush a thumb over them and wipe them away. "Your pretty, you'll always be pretty and just because you have scars dosent make you any less pretty. Okay liefde?" You nod. "Let me prove that to you, okay? You okay with that?" You let him push you down, he pulls off the last bit of your sweatpants off and rubs your thigh slowly. "So gorgeous." You let him place kisses on your thighs. Rather to be specific. On your scars. You groan. In that moment you realize that, your body is capable of being loved. No matter what. No matter what you had going on with it. There was always someone there to let you know that it's alright. Your breath hitched when you felt joosts warm breath on your pussy. His fingers playing with the fabric of your panties. But he dosent do anything, he pulls away and places a kiss on your stomach and up. And up. You whimper at the feeling of him fondling your breast. Holding your wrist with one arm before placing it next to your head. He gently let's go. You feel your cunt get wetter by the minute. Clenching around nothing. He takes one final look at your body in admiration before dropping his pants, his cock was hard. And the size never fails to impress you. You instinctively spread your legs for him. He slips the fabric of your panties to the side before rubbing your clit with his thumb. The most gentle circles you could ever experience. You throw your head back and whimper out his name. Your tears have dried off by now. And even if they were still there. It's probably tears of pure satisfaction and relief. You gently grip the sheets underneath you. He pulls your hips towards his cock. You shudder once you felt the tip graze your clit. The precum coating your sensitive bud. "Please joost" you throw a hand above your head. Arching your back and rolling your hips to gain any friction. "Fuck me." Your eyes are half lidded. You feel your lips quiver.
You sigh once you felt him push into you, his cock stretching you out."my god..doing so well for me arent you doll? I told you, you're perfect. Hm?" He hummed.You could've sworn you saw stars. He reaches down to stroke your face gently before bottoming out. You nod. Gesturing for him that he can move. But you could never adjust to his size. You cry out for him once he started really thrusting his cock inside of you. You pull him in, whimpering in his ear as he roughly fucks into you, his cock brushing over your cervix. You wrap your legs around his waist insisting to not let go as he continues pounding into your tight cunny. What more could you ask for. Joost loves you for what you are and is now fucking you right to make sure you remmeber that fact for 50 years ahead. Your thoughts completely spill out of your brain. The only thing you can register right now is how well joost is ruining your pussy right now. Not allowing you to think of anything else but his cock. "Joost. Fuck." You close your eyes tightly and grip on to his shirt. "Slow.." you feel your eyes burn despite them being closed. Your tears falling down again. "Ah!" You feel him slam his cock roughly inside of you. The sounds of your pussy squelching around him. Cum seeping out as your eyes roll to the back of your head you cum hard around his cock. But he dosent stop. He keeps pounding his cock inside of you. His groans and whimpers of your names slowing down as he finally cums inside of you. "So fucking good for.. me hm? Isn't that right liefde?" He groans out. His accent shedding through his words as he spills his cum deep inside of you. You can feel him nudging your cervix as his cum takes over your insides. You pant lightly. Catching your breath as you finally come back to your senses. You wipe the drool from your mouth. Eyes half lidded as he finally slips out of you. A trace of cum following along. He bends down and uses his fingers to stuff you full of his cum. "There..we go." He gets up. His iconic smile splattered on his face. "You good pretty?" You nod lightly. Gently getting up from the bed. You gasp once you felt joost scoop you into his arms. Carrying you as he makes his way to the bathroom. "Let's get ya cleaned ja?"..
|sorry if that was corny guys.... I tried😉🤞
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You're Dead To Me.
Lando Norris x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Uncle
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
A/N: this is based off a situation that happened to me irl and everything the reader says is basically everything I want to say to this blood relative. (I'm hoping this is therapeutic for me) and as much as I want to I'm not using this relative's real name.
warnings: Cursing, deadbeat uncle, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of attempted suicide, maybe mentions of mental abuse but idk.
NOT PROOF READ!! COULDN'T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS 🤪🤪
F1 Masterlist
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
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I stared at the text message on my phone. I know I shouldn't answer it but part of me wants to know why he's texting me, why now after all this time he reached out to me?
My uncle (if that's what you could even call him) texted me. Just a plain and simple message: "Can we meet for lunch and talk?" I should've just ignored him like he's done to me for the past 4 years but I like to think that I'm better than that.
"Babe, is something wrong?" Lando asked as he nudged the side of my arm
"Hmm?" was all I hummed while I finally pulled back from my phone
"You've been staring at your phone with a sad look for the past 5 minutes" Lando said as he placed a reassuring hand on top mine
Lando and I were currently having coffee by the kitchen Island in our house. Well I was drinking coffee, Lando was drinking tea.
"Yeah, Jace just texted me. Wants to know if I want to meet with him to have lunch today to 'talk' whatever that means." I said unsure of what emotion to feel right now
"Jace, as in your uncl-"
"DON'T call him my uncle." I snapped as I cut Lando off.
I honestly didn't mean to snap at him but he knows about all the things he's done to me, to my family. He knows that I'm ashamed he's my blood relative and sometimes I wish I never met him.
"Right, m'sorry" A pinch of regret and sadness laced his voice which made me feel even more mad
"No, fuck. M'sorry Lando, you just know how I feel about him and I guess hearing you call him my uncle kinda sent me over the edge." I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes burn at just the thought of being in front of him.
After a few seconds the silence was broken as Lando started talking "I'll be with you, if you meet with him"
"Yeah, I think I'd like that." I mumbled as I roughly rubbed my face with my palms before picking up my phone and texting Jace back.
Me: 2pm, Holly's Diner. Don't be late and come ALONE. Jace:Thank you.
with a scoff and a sigh I placed my phone down. I had 2 hours before I had to meet Jace, let's just hope I can compose myself.
"Where are we meeting him at?" Lando said as he walked back over to the Island after placing both our mugs in the sink.
"Holly's, 2pm" I said, uncertainty lacing my voice
"Let's get ready then." Lando guided me to our shared room where we gathered all our clothes and thing we'd need for a shower before making our way to the bathroom.
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Lando and I have been waiting in this Diner for what felt like years before I finally looked at the time for what must've been the 7th time since we'd arrived. '1:58' just 3 more minutes and then he's late which gives me the green light to leave and avoid him for the rest of my life.
A ring of the bell above the door pulled me from a thought I wasn't aware I was deep into. Turning my head I'm met with a man who I didn't see as family, the man I saw was a total stranger. It didn't take long for him to spot me too, given that the diner wasn't big.
Once Jace got close enough, I watched as his arms opened as if indicating for a hug, which I quickly shut down with an awkward nod. Jace took the note and just sat in front of us.
"Who's this, I thought we were both coming alone?" Jace said gesturing towards Lando who sat in the booth right next to me
"I told you to come alone, I said nothing about me and this is my boyfriend Lando" I saw Jace reach a hand out to shake Lando's hand and as much as I wanted to pull Lando's hand away, I couldn't make his decisions for him.
Lando opted to quickly shake his hand before letting us talk
"So, why'd you want to talk?" I said coldly while playing the ice in my Dr Pepper, avoiding eye contact
"Right! I'm just trying to make amends with the family, you know how much I love you guys so much and I really want to be in your life again. I know I've been a bit distant with you guys, you especially and I want that all to change. I want to be a better Tio to you, I know it's gonna take time but I'm willing to allow as much time as you need, Valerie also wants to see you again." Hearing him say all of that almost made me to storm out. I felt the lump coming back in my throat and my eyes starting watering. There was no way I was getting through this little meeting without absolutely sobbing and throwing shit at him.
"Are you kidding? You called me here to makes amends? Do you know all the shit-"
"Hey! You know how I feel about curing." He had the nerve to cut me off
"NO! I'm talking! I gave you the floor interruption free so I want the floor interruption free!" I could feel my blood boil and if it warns for Lando right next to me I think I would've absolutely lost my shit already.
Jace just stared at me before slightly nodding his head gesturing me to continue
"Do you know all the SHIT you put me through?? All the shit you put my family thro-"
"They're my family too" oh you're fucking joking me right?
"You have one more time to interrupt me before I walk out and block you" I said sternly as I pointed my finger at the older man in front of me.
I know I should have respect for my elders but I only respect them when they respect me.
"Sir, please let her finish" Lando tried pleading with the man
"This doesn't concern you. I don't know why you're here." Oh NOW I'm fucking done
"Lando, let's go. We're leaving" I said as I started to make my way out of the booth
"No! Please, I'm sorry. We need to talk." Now he wants to listen to me. Unbefuckinglievable.
I felt Lando's hand on my wrist which caused me to look at him. His eyes saying 'just let him hear you out' which made me reluctantly give in and sit back down.
"One more disrespectful remark or interruption, I'm LEAVING"
"Sorry" Jace mumbled
"I don't care what kind of realization you came to that made you realized that you fucked up and wanted us back but its 5 years too late. Do you know how many things I've done in my life that I thought you would be proud of? I tried to call you when I got my permit and you declined the call, I thought you were busy so I waited a few hours before I called you back and you still didn't answer so I let it go. I also tried to call you when I got my license but you also didn't answer, I invited you to my National Honors Society induction ceremony and you didn't show, I invited you to my sweet 16 and you didn't come, I then invited you to my 18th birthday party and surprise surprise you didn't show. Against my better judgement, I invited you to my high school graduation and you told wela that you already had dinner plans and you 'couldn't' move it. Do you know how much each and every single one of those situations hurt me? How much I HATED still wanting your validation even though I knew you couldn't care less? That's only the tip of the iceberg after we moved to Pennsylvania, when we still lived in Florida and we all live together, do you know how much I HATED living there after Valerie and her 2 kids moved in? Valerie never liked me, she and her daughter ALWAYS blamed everything wrong on mean guess what? You NEVER stood up for me once. You punished me for my dirty room even though it wasn't my mess and after you realized that it was in fact Erica's mess and not mine, you never apologized to me. You didn't care for me, didn't love me and you even told me so. Remember that one day in the pool where you told me AND I QUOTE 'you don't get love because you're the middle child' then proceeded to get mad at me when I got upset, claiming that I 'couldn't take a joke'? Well I do because it's fucking drilled in my head. I bet you don't remember the time you punished me so hard for a DIFFERENT mess that Erica made that it really made me believe that you didn't love me and that you really didn't care whether I lived or died so I tried to kill myself that night? I bet you do because my mom absolutely reamed you a new asshole because of it. Yeah, that wasn't the only time I tried to kill myself because of you. I tried 4 separate times and at the time I was mad that God didn't let me die but now I'm kinda happy. I'm happy because I met the love of my life, I have a great job oh and remember my dad's oldest friend Luis? Yeah he took on the role of the uncle you were supposed to be to me and my siblings. Everything you were supposed to go to that you didn't, he went to. He made sure that we knew he loved us, he takes us to the movies, to amusement parks, pools, he's gone on family vacations with us and overall in the last 4 years he's been the 'play' uncle, he's the best uncle I could ever ask for. Oh and I know you just want to be in my life right now because I've had a pretty successful career working for the McLaren f1 team and my boyfriend is an f1 driver, but to give you my answer on whether I'll allow you to make amends with me, my answer is a big fat fucking no." I said as I threw the linen on the table before grabbing Lando's hand and got out of the booth before turning to face Jace one more time "Oh and you're dead to me" I said before Lando and I walked out of the diner.
I somehow didn't cry at all through my whole speech to Jace. I also knew that I wasn't going to be able to hold in all this anger and sadness anymore and soon I was going to breakdown.
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Miraculously, I somehow was able to make it home without crying too. It was only a 10 minute car ride but it consisted of concentrated breathing and occasionally looking up when I could feel the tears well in my waterline.
"Baby, are you okay?" Lando said as he closed and locked the front door.
The second those last three words came out his mouth, the wall I built up came crumbling down and so did I. I just fell to my knees and started sobbing into my palms, I haven't cried this hard since my dad confronted me and started crying about my suicide attempt. I quickly felt Lando wrap his arms around me before gently lifting me up and walking over to the couch before sitting down and placing me on his lap allowing me to sob into his chest, while whispering sweet nothings in my ear the whole time.
We stayed like this for about a good 10 minutes before I stopped crying, well I didn't necessarily stop crying but I wasn't a gasping mess like before.
One thing about Lando? He's one hell of a comforter and I love him dearly for that.
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Sorry for dropping this on you guys but I'm hoping this is therapeutic for me because it allows me to say what I want to say (even if I can't say it to his face)
this really isn't proof read, I literally cant stop crying rn.
taglist:
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy
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in1-nutshell · 2 days
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Sorry just thought of something you know but buddy with the personality of rumble how would they react to finally knowing who rumble was I would also like to see them just get adopted by soundwave because that boy just needs some closure
I've had a lot of request similar to this, so I'm just going to mix them all and put them in this one.
I know there are hints on where Rumble went, but this is a scenario I invented to fill in what happened with him.
We got the new Canon name too!
Hope you enjoy!
Echo finding out what happened to Rumble and meeting Soundwave again
SFW, ANGST, Character death, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronain reader
TFE
Echo didn’t tell the others about their nightmares.
Not that they needed to anyways, they felt something bothering their sibling.
It was always the same look the Bots and Cons gave them when they called them Rumble before the falling rocks came down.
After a while, they decided to finally go out and ask who Rumble was.
This led to more dead ends and more questions than anything.
Echo is trying to keep up with Megatron and Optimus’s pace.
“Seriously! Why won’t you tell me?!”--Echo
“You don’t need to know Echo.”--Megatron
“Well, I feel like I should! Everyone has at least called me ‘Rumble 5 times before getting my name right!”--Echo
They try and stop Megatron’s pede.
“What are you so afraid of?!”--Echo
Megatron stops and sends them a glare.
Echo instinctively let’s go and watches Megatron transform and fly away.
They quickly shake the heavy feeling in their chassis.
“You coward! You can just fly away from me!”--Echo
Optimus kneels in front of Echo.
“Echo… the subject about Rumble isn’t an easy one Megatron can talk about.”--Optimus
“And what about you? Why won’t anyone tell me?”--Echo
They look down.
Optimus gives them a pat on the helm.
“Perhaps when your older, we’ll talk about it.”--Optimus
Echo swats his servo.
“And you still can’t tell me because…”--Echo
The Prime stands back up.
“Its not my place to talk about Rumble.”--Optimus
He suddenly transforms and leaves.
Echo angrily shakes their servo before transforming to try and follow the pair.
“GET BACK HERE!”--Echo
Their siblings did help them get information here and there, but it wasn’t enough.
That and the fact that their parents also didn’t help.
Alex truly didn’t know what happened to Rumble and Dot had told them the same thing Prime had.
That it wasn’t their place.
Echo figured at this rate they would be as old as the Earth before anyone would tell them about what happened to Rumble. They needed to take this into their own servos.
Thus began the secret research.
Well, it was more looking through the comics Alex had around and sneaking into G.H.O.S.T and try and access the data base for Rumble.
It would be one late night they’d finally get their answer.
Echo seeing a video on screen.
They press play.
It was a human body camera.
The video was shaky, but they could clearly see Soundwave being strapped down by some pink rope thing.
Megatron had appeared on the side.
“Soundwave, just come with us peacefully! Nothing bad will happen to you or the minicons!”--Megatron
Soundwave’s movements were much sluggish than before.
Suddenly something shot out of his chassis.
Echo stared in shock at their double standing in between Soundwave and G.H.O.S.T.
The minicon’s side was sparking heavily with energon gushing from his side.
Proudly brandishing a pair of blasters aiming them at Megatron.
“Rumble!”--Megatron
“Rumble! Explain!”--Soundwave
“You really think I’d leave you here for G.H.O.S.T bait? Fat chance! Frenzy and the others are coming soon.”--Rumble
He looks up at Megatron.
“As for you traitor!”--Rumble
His blasters were loaded and ready to fire.
“Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t blast you and your little friends into pieces!”--Rumble
Megatron carefully kneels.
“We are not here to harm you or Soundwave—”--Megatron
“Coulda fooled me!”--Rumble
“—We are here to offer you an ultimatum.”--Megatron
“We’ve heard about that and unlike you, we are Decepticon’s through and through!”--Rumble
“Then shoot. Prove you are a heartless Decepticon then.”—Megatron
Echo tenses when the words leave Megatron’s lips.
Rumble points his blaster at Megatron… but everyone sees the shake in his servo.
“Primus… WHY CAN’T I DO IT!?”--Rumble
Megatron gently pushes the blaster down.
“Rumble, you and the others have a chance to live peacefully on this planet. Are you not tired of the war?”--Megatron
The shakiness in his servos only increases as little pricks of tears start coming down his face.
Soundwave and Rumble both share a look.
“Guess Frenzy and the others are going to be disappointed by this…”--Rumble
He raises his blasters again.
The camera zooms in on his shaking servos that were letting go of the blaster.
He was going to give up.
He was dropping his weapon.
BOOM!
The camera shakingly goes in and out of focus before getting back into view.
The audio had been turned off for the rest of the video, likely damaged by the boom.
Echo was not prepared to see what had happened while the camera had been out of focus.
Megatron was kneeling over the minicon who laid still in his servos.
The energon leaking from his servos.
The former war lord looked distraught and angry shouting at something.
Serveal G.H.O.S.T vehicles had suddenly thrown into the air.
The person with the camera was running for cover as it rained dirt.
Soon the camera turned back to Megatron and a now down Soundwave, reaching for Rumble.
The video ended.
Echo hadn’t noticed they had been crying until they saw their reflection on the dark screen.
No wonder Megs didn’t want to tell them about this.
Speaking of Megs… they really needed to apologize now.
But on the plus side, they were a bit at peace with finding the truth behind Them and Rumble.
As they started sneaking their way out, Echo came across a familiar looking corridor.
The one that held most of the Cons.
If Soundwave hadn’t escape yet…
The minibot quietly made their way to Soundwave’s cell.
The larger Con was on his side with his back towards them, as if he were sleeping.
“Psst! Soundwave!”--Echo
“The mech groaned a bit before turning around.
Soundwave swore for a moment he saw Rumble, before realizing it was the Terran look alike.
They waved a bit.
He came a bit closer to them.
“What are you doing here?”--Soundwave
“…I never got the chance to thank you… Thank you for saving me.”--Echo
The mech huffs a bit.
“You’re welcome, now get out.”--Soundwave
“I know what happened with Rumble.”--Echo
The mech tensed.
“You don’t know anything.”--Soundwave
“…There was footage of the attack. Its not full and I’m sure there’s more things but… I get it.”--Echo
“Get what?”--Soundwave
“Get why everyone calls me Rumble, get why everyone avoided the questions, avoided talking to me about it…”--Echo
They vent shakingly.
“I am so sorry that happened. I’m not too good with words… much better with other things, but this is all I can say. I’m sorry.”--Echo
A minute of silence passes before Echo decides to leave.
“What is your name?”--Soundwave
Echo stops before looking at him with a watery smile.
“Echo. My name is Echo.”--Echo
Soundwave nods silently as he watches the minibot leave the holding area.
A strange sense of relief and heaviness form in his chassis.
He simply turns back to his position.
Tomorrow he would continue the escape plan… but now... now wasn’t the time…
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jayden-killer · 3 days
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HOBIE BROWN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND.
warnings: none, its sfw with little hints of angst.
A/n: hey everyone!! I'm working on every single request that you've asked me. I'm so ready to post each of them!♡
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Hobie will make a specific tape with all his favourite punk/rock bands, songs from Ramones, AC/DC, The Police, The Prodigy, and lots more.
The tape says "To my rockstar" and you will see a little guitar drawn (unexpectedly) good next to the phrase :))
You two hang out a lot in his universe. It's kinda chill; Hobie knows the good vibes it affects you.
Of course, he'll come in your universe!! And it's always in the most inappropriate times...
"Hobie!! My papers! Ugh!" A hand flew to cover your face in desperation.
"What? It's just some papers... it's not like I messed them up".
"You did. They're ruined by the multidimensional portal you've opened RIGHT ON MY DESK." You paused. "I'm so dead. My teacher will give me an F another time"
"I don't believe in homework." Was all what he said.
You didn't know he was part of a band. Well, now you do! Meet all of their members! Hobie will be more than happy to introduce them to you.
Being Hobie's bf/gf also implies hanging out with Pavitr and Gwen..and Miles..and making Miguel angry in his lab.
Just one thing: RUN FROM MIGUEL'S ANGER.
Also, sneaking kisses, hugs between a mission and another. Just in case something happens and he doesn't have the chance to see you again...
You'll be the only one to wear his jacket. This means he trusts you with all his soul to do that.
Speaking of opening up, Hobie will open up to you about his past; how his abusive mother treated him, the responsibility to act like an adult in such young age, taking care of his other siblings...
You see how he speaks and acts. Always with humour. But, only you know how sometimes he struggles with himself.
He's glad to have you there with him.
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demonforthesemen · 12 hours
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@vainjaytomatoredd a little while ago you replied on my toxic possessive radioapple post saying that you had expected angst (though you weren't upset by the funny). And I was like. I'm a clown first and foremost but toxic possessive radioapple does deserve angst. I must try my hand at this.
So consider with me: Alastor and Lucifer in a relationship, doesn't really matter how long - what matters is that Lilith comes back after it's already started. And she wants her husband back.
Deep down inside, Alastor knows that he should probably talk to Lucifer about this. Tell him he just wants him to be happy, give him the space to make a decision on what exactly he wants to do. It would be the gracious thing to do. But the only things gracious about Alastor are his manners, when he chooses to use them. He's in hell for several reasons, and one of them is the fearsome possessiveness he refuses to control.
If he were to tell Charlie the story of how he killed his father because the man hurt Alastor's mother, her naive, optimistic mind would undoubtedly pretty it up, turn it into a tale of a tragic antihero of a boy who just wanted to protect his dear mommy. The truth is, he didn't do it because the woman had been his mother, but because she had been his mother. She was his, and the brute she called a husband had dared damage what was Alastor's. Killing the man had been recompense for Alastor, no one else.
And now, nearly a century later, he's ready to get rid of Lilith in any way he knows how, because Lucifer is his, and she who left him broken and suffering will not get him back. Her intentions might or might not have been noble, she might even love Lucifer, but what is her paltry, sweet love in comparison to Alastor's ownership? If she wanted to keep the king on her shelf, she shouldn't have discarded him and let him collect dust.
What is it children say? Oh yes: finders keepers, losers weepers. And oh, does he intend to make her weep.
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jasntodds · 2 days
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Penance Chapter 2 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 6/12
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Teaser Words: 1,716 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, mentions of canon violence Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞ It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? A/N: I'm having problems with my taglist?? I'm trying desperately to get it to work properly so please bear with me lol I'm always going to post some sort of update when this fic will be posted just in case so you can search my blog under "penance" if you haven't been tagged in anything in a week!! A teaser or chapter will be posted every week!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn’t too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It's a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn't entirely sure what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he'll just take it from there. It's not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he's not sure what Tim will even be doing.
Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.
Meanwhile, you've made your place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And you can’t help but feel excited to see him. You miss him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it's under the circumstances of Robin. There's also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.
Seeing him means there's going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of you being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There's going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It's going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will you even be able to pick up where you left off? Or will you fall into an awkward dance where you both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and you really hope he's okay and happy. You're excited just to see how he's doing.
You're laying on your stomach to take cover while you watch over the ledge but your fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It’s the hope this goes okay, that he doesn’t hate you. That Tim is happy to see you both. That Tim doesn’t get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood your system. Why did you agree to this?
Commotion starts from below you and you see Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, you can tell the suit is a little different than Jason's and Dick's. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it's longer. It fits him actually. You stand on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand. 
Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they’re faster than he is and better. You know Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so you use the grappling hook to lower yourself down but before your feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as your feet hit the ground, you nail the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with your arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.
Of course, he beat you to it.
Jason's eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see you tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing you throws him off. It's a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but you travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just...two nights in a row seems...odd.
“I had that covered.” You state through your mask.
Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between you. Your mask always muffled your voice a little but it's still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.
“Where the fuck did you even come from?” Jason quips back.
You point to the roof. “Clearly. And you?” You question, keeping your voice flat and curious, trying to conceal your own nerves.
Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. “Clearly.” He echoes as he stands next to you.
It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get them to communicate and...maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can’t focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.
He needs to help Tim which means he can't let his feelings for you get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to you doesn't make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses you so fucking much it physically pains him. He can't find himself to be mad because you'll never abandon Tim so even if you don't speak to Jason while you help him, at least he gets to see you as you. Like old times even if it doesn’t last and for that, Jason is happy.
Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and you swear you swallowed your heart. He looks so good. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and you think you've melted at the sound of his voice.
His voice is somehow better than you remember it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and you've never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of your mouth because your lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation you had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.
Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and you've just been sucked right back into it.
You miss him so fucking much.
Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. “I’m Robin.” Tim states as if Jason should have known.
The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason’s lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It’s weird because it almost feels…hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he’s not. It hurts in the way he’s reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There’s almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn’t work for Dick. He didn’t die as Robin but it didn’t work for him. Jason was killed. Where’s that going to leave Tim?
On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn’t. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn’t. The people need a Robin and he doesn’t really know Tim but you do and Gar does. He trusts you both and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It’s a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.
“Hey.” You chime as you walk closer to him.
Tim’s smile splits his face. “Hey, how’d you know I’d be here?”
“Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you.” You laugh softly before you pull him into a gentle hug. “You should have told me.” You say as you pull away, your hands coming to his shoulders as you look over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason’s.
“Yeah, I thought I could handle this.” Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job. 
“Clearly, you were wrong.” Jason closes the distance between you. “You’re lucky we showed up when we did.” Jason stands right beside you as you drop your hands from his shoulders, maybe you looking over the suit makes him want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.
“Yeah, I got that.” Tim nods his head. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” The smile reaches your eyes as you beam back at Tim.
Jason’s eyes narrow at you slightly. You seem awfully happy. He knows Tim is your friend but you just seem overly happy or maybe he’s in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking you up from Titans Tower and it was...similar. It's like he's getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing you were not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of your feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved you look happy instead of pissed off Dick set you up. He’s just thankful you haven’t run away. Yet.
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gracev0609 · 3 days
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Dirty Love
Josh X Danny
A @lipstickitty / gracev0609 collaboration.
We decided to try our hands at angst after getting inspiration from Mt. Joy's song ' Dirty Love '
This is set in a different universe than our previous Josh and Danny by the way! Two different sets of characters!
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI, Angst, Betrayal, Lies, Cheating, Heartbreaking, unwillingness to come to terms with their sexuality and hurting others in the process.
WC: 2.7k
The group was enjoying the evening, taking turns passing a blunt, and drinking way too many white claws. Jake and Sam sat on one side of the fire pit, while Josh, Danny and Alexis, Danny's longtime girlfriend,sat on the other. They were jovial, enjoying their time on break together, it was one of the last evenings they had before tour resumed.
Josh stood from his lawn chair, swaying back and forth slightly from his indulgence,” I'm gonna go inside, gonna get another one. Anyone want another seltzer?”
After taking count he wandered his way across Sam's backyard.
Suddenly Danny announced,” I'll go help him.”
He stood, quickly following him, leaving the rest of them around the warmth of the fire.
Josh was in the kitchen grabbing the beverages from the refrigerator when he heard the sound of the sliding door opening and closing. As soon as the refrigerator door was closed he felt Danny's presence. His body mere inches away, he could feel his body heat against his back.
“Hi Joshy.”
Josh peered over his shoulder and in an instant Danny's soft warm lips were on his. For a split second he melted into the kiss. How he wished that he could forever melt into Danny's warm embrace. Soon enough, he'll be his, Danny said so. Suddenly ice trailed up Josh's spine and he was very aware of what they were doing and where they were doing it .
Pulling away Josh put his hands on Danny's chest, separating them,” Danny stop. Stop. Not here, not now. Not with Alexis out there.”
Danny backed up, until his lower back hit the island,”Fuck. You're right.”
Josh's trailed from Danny's face down to the floor gazing at their shoes,” When… when are you going to do it. When are you breaking up with Alexis?”
Quietly Danny mumbled,”I don't know.”
Josh's brows furrow,” You don't know? You never know. Y-you always have an excuse Danny. First her grandfather died, and I understood. Then her dog was sick, and I understood. But fuck Daniel it's been 6 months, I'm tired of being a secret.”
“I know. I know you are.”
Josh balled his fists, energy coursing through his veins,” Jesus Christ Daniel. We keep doing this, and you keep claiming ‘ that you love me and want to be with me’ but you don't break it off. You don't even want Sam or Jake to know about us. What am I? Just your Dirty Love?! All I want are your eyes on mine. I need more! I- I need commitment and accountability, I can't do this anymore, I can't be the ‘other man’ anymore. It's not fair.”
Danny slowly exhaled,” I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to be my boyfriend.”
“You can't control who you really are, or what you really want.”
Danny just stared back at him, unable to say anymore.
Josh’s eyes brimmed with tears he was furiously trying to hold back, “So that’s it then. Nothing you said was true?”
Danny also felt the prickle of tears beginning behind his eyes, sniffling them back. “No, Josh it’s not like that. Everything I said was true, or at least… it was at the time. I do love you, you have to believe that. I do want to be with you, but I’m not ready for this. I can’t do this, not now.”
Josh felt his temper rising, the overwhelming sadness and hurt flooding him transforming at least temporarily into rage and the hot tears began to flow. “You know what, that’s fine. Just forget it, forget all of it. I have to go.”
He pushed past Danny and moved to the door, ready to barrel through and make his exit, but the door slamming alerted everyone outside that there was something going on. Danny just watched him leave, knowing nothing he had to say would make the situation any better. Jake offered to go see what was wrong, jogging around the side of the house to see Josh almost collapse into the driver’s seat of his car, sobs wracking his frame. Jake quickened his pace, now running to his brother. Josh wept into his hands for a moment before shaking his head and putting the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life just as Jake reached the car door. He watched Josh reach for the gear shift to move it from park to drive and yanked the door open just before Josh let off the brake.
He quickly sat down in the seat and pulled the door shut behind him, turning to his distraught brother in the driver’s seat. “Hey, what the hell happened?” Jake asked as the car took off, his hand on Josh’s shoulder trying to soothe him.
Josh didn’t even seem to hear him over his own cries and inner turmoil, wiping his tears away with one hand though new ones just replaced them as soon as he was done. “Why did I agree to this? Why did I let myself settle for it? Why did I let him use me?” He turned to look at Jake for a split second, tears clouding his vision too heavily to see much of anything.
“Danny?” Jake sounded totally taken aback, not having known anything about any of it before he got in the car.
A loud sob ripped through Josh’s chest as he nodded. “Josh, pull over.” Jake said firmly, not taking any arguments. Josh nodded again, turning his blinker on and pulling into the first parking lot they came across.
As soon as the car was safely parked, Jake leaned over the console and pulled Josh into his arms, rubbing his back gently as Josh sobbed into his shoulder. “He- he said that he loved me, and that he was going to end things with Alexis. For 6 months he told me that, and I believed him. Why did I believe him? Why wasn’t I good enough? Fuck, how am I supposed to face him next week when we’re back off break?” Josh’s words came out broken, stuttered in between his sobs and heaving breaths.
Jake felt Josh's words rattle his body, they were powerful and he tried his best to not be upset. He wanted to be Josh's comfort,” Josh. You absolutely are good enough. This. This isn't your fault, this is his.”
Josh cried harder as he desperately tried to keep his sobs and wails to a minimum. His body shook and he knew he was soaking Jake's shoulder in tears and snot.
He was blubbering, his head pounding as he wailed,” Why was I so stupid?!”
Jake clung his body closer to his, trying to ease the pain of his broken heart. Jake knew he was feeling intense rejection and embarrassment.
Rubbing his hand up and down his trembling back,” It's okay, you're not stupid Josh. He wasn't telling you the truth.”
After what felt like forever, Josh finally calmed down enough to where he could talk in full sentences again,” So.. I guess you want to know what happened.”
Neatly folding his hands in his lap, Jake nodded,” If you want to tell me, I'm here to listen.”
Josh wiped stray tears from his eyes, and Jake quickly leaned down and opened up his glove box finding brown paper fast food napkins and handing him a small stack.
Josh let out a shaky breath,” Well… around 6 months ago we started getting closer, flirting a ton, talking a ton. Danny.. he- he said he wasn't enjoying being with her anymore. He said he wanted to see what it would be like with a man, wanted to see what it would be like with me. And I fell so hard, so fast. I mean it's Danny!” A small sob escaped his lips and he swiped a scratchy napkin across his eyes once more. “ We slept together, and we kept sleeping together, and we were having so much fun. It felt so easy and wonderful and full of love, but we had to keep it under wraps. And fuck, now here we are. I believed all his lies.”
Jake reached out, squeezing his hand around Josh's,” I'm so sorry Josh.’
🔥🔥
Danny tried his best to compose himself in the kitchen before he walked back outside, but despite his best efforts he knew he still looked a mess. He may have been able to fool Alexis by telling her he just wasn’t feeling well, but he was well aware that Sam knew him like the back of his hand and would instantly know something was off. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to ease the pounding in his head. With one more deep breath he walked back out to face them.
Just as Danny had known he would, as soon as Sam caught sight of Danny’s face his brows tented in confusion and he looked around the yard, everyone’s drinks scattered around to be forgotten about. The expression on Danny’s face paired with the sound of the twins peeling off out of the driveway painted a picture that Sam was puzzled by and he wanted answers. “What’s the matter? Why did Jake and Josh tear out of here like that?”
Danny tried to keep a straight face, but his guilt was eating him alive. He couldn’t think of an explanation that would satisfy Sam, not with Alexis there and his brain so jumbled.
His hands scrubbed over his face once again as he mumbled, “Please Sam, I’ll tell you later. I can’t talk about it right now.” He pleaded, tears threatening to make another appearance.
Sam’s eyes narrowed, “That’s not gonna work for me. You went in there with my brother and then he takes off like a bat out of hell and you look like you’re about to cry. What the fuck happened in there, Daniel?”
Finally he snapped, “Because I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world, okay?! Because I can’t be who I want to be, because I can’t be honest about any of it! Because I ruined everything”, tears flowing freely now, he pointed in Alexis’ direction, “and I’ve been cheating on her for 6 fucking months!” His head fell into his hands and he finally allowed himself to really cry, sobs tearing through him. Sam's jaw drops, and his eyes go wide.
Alexis stands, her expression mirroring Samuel's,” 6 months?! What the fuck Daniel! I-im done, I'm so fucking done, I'll drop off all of your shit next week.” As she walks away, she raises her middle finger in the air,” I hope her cunt was worth it!”
Sam shook his head, confusion settling in as Danny cried into his palms,” So, what does any of that have to do with Josh?”
Danny lifted his head, his cheeks wet with tears and his eyes bloodshot,” Because I was cheating on Alexis with Josh.”
Sam turned his head, jaw clenching, he knew Josh didn't run out of his home because he was happy. Sam took a seat in the lawn chair Alexis previously inhabited, his mind racing, he wasn't happy. On one hand he was sad for Daniel, he felt like he couldn't be with who he wanted to be with. On the other hand he used Josh, his eldest brother. Crossing his legs Sam huffed,” So.. Do you want to talk about it?”
Danny cried,” I fucked everything up Sam!”
Agreeing, he chuffed,” You really did.”
“ I was comfortable with Alexis, but I loved Josh and I just wasn't ready. I told him I wanted him, and that I loved him, and it was true until it was time to face the music.”
“Ready for what?” Sam clenched his jaw, feeling protective over his brother.
“I wasn't ready for everyone to know that I'm queer too. I've barely wrapped my own mind around it, I only knew that I wanted him. I wasn't ready to take him on dates or answer to fans or -”
“That's really fucking shitty you know.”
“I do know! I'm so fucking stupid! I let everything slip through my fingers, Sam.”
“Honestly Daniel… you dug your grave and now you have to lie in it.” Sam stood,” Go home, pack your ex-girlfriend's shit up, and think of a way you can apologize to Josh. Because what you've just put him through is really shitty and really unfair. You led him on. That's really fucked.”
Without any more discussion Sam walked into his home and began cleaning up the leftover food and empty seltzer cans. Leaving Danny to sit with his thoughts.
🔥🔥
“Jake, why did he lie to me? Did-did I ask too much of him? I can’t trust him anymore, I’ve always been able to trust him, and he ruined that. I mean, we were kids together, all of us, and we’ve been taking on the world together and now look where we are!” Jake took in what his brother was telling him, one hand still rubbing soothing circles on Josh’s back while the other held another stack of napkins to give Josh if he ran out.
Jake’s heart was broken for his older brother, he just wanted to take his pain away from him but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t exactly disagree with Josh, everything he was saying was completely true.
“Honestly I don’t know why he lied, and it was a really shitty thing for him to do. You’re not asking for too much, Josh. I’m sorry it happened and I wish there was more I could do to make it better. How about I run into the store real quick and grab us some supplies and I stay with you for a few days? I don’t want you sitting alone in that house brokenhearted.” Jake offered, looking at Josh’s bloodshot, tired eyes, nose rubbed raw, and tear stained cheeks. Josh just nodded, emotionally drained.
“Switch seats with me while I’m in here, I’ll drive us back.” Jake called over his shoulder as he climbed out of the car and walked into the store. While Josh waited on Jake, his mind raced incessantly. He couldn’t stop thinking of every empty promise Danny ever told him. Most, if not all, of his trust in Danny had been destroyed. The months of Danny holding his heart in his hands, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear almost every single night, sweet nothings whispered in the dark, confessions of love and nights spent holding each other tight, only to be torn apart by one short conversation. Josh hadn’t even been concerned with telling the public, he just wanted to belong to Danny and for Danny to be his like he had promised, he wanted to be able to tell his family about it whether the rest of the world knew it or not.
Jake came out of the store a few minutes later loaded down with snacks, drinks, and anything else he could possibly think of that they might need. He arrived back at the car to see that Josh had in fact done as he asked and moved to the passenger side, and was just leaning his head against the window with his eyes closed.
He loaded all the items in the trunk and put the cart away before climbing back in the car, still idling as neither of them had turned it off. The ride back to Josh’s house was mostly quiet, both of them trying to take in the events of the night.
Back at Josh’s home, they both unloaded the groceries and walked inside, setting everything down and putting it all where it needed to go. They threw a frozen pizza in the oven to bake and brought the snacks into the living room to eat while they watched movies and waited on the pizza.
Conversation stayed pretty light until the movie was on, Jake insisting that they watch all of Josh’s favorite movies to try and cheer him up. Shortly after the opening credits rolled, Josh finally spoke up, “I just.. I really thought we could make it work, ya know? It was everything I wanted, and it all got ripped away in a split second.” His words were soft as he blinked back more tears, not wanting to cry again.
Jake felt his heart crack a little more in his chest and he pulled Josh into his arms on the couch. Josh just let his brother clutch him tightly to his chest, knowing that while everything felt awful in that moment, his twin would get him through it.
Fin.
I know, we're sorry... This one hurt us too 😭
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lady-of-tearshed · 2 days
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The last date.
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Ruhn Danaan x Reader
Summary: You are accumulating bad dates, and your best friend, Ruhn, is always there to comfort you when you need him to. He always knows exactly what he needs to do in order to boost your mood.
Word count: 2.1k
Warnings: Mention of sexual activities but nothing explicit. A little bit of angst.
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“I took your ass out tonight!”
Your hands fly to unbuckle your seatbelt, tears burning your eyes and shattering your heart from this alphahole nasty words. What a fucked up thing to say on a date, only because you didn't agree to go home with him to fuck. “Stop the car.” You urge him, taking your seatbelt off.
“What?!” His eyes leave the road briefly, and he dares to stare at you, looking all confused. What a poor loser.
“Stop the fucking car or I’m jumping out!” The tire screeched, the car stopping so abruptly you almost hit your head on the windshield. You've made yourself pretty fucking clear. Good.
You open the door, completely ignoring the shift in the lion shifter’s voice, now more softer than his previous annoyed one as he calls out for you. “Y/N-”
“Go.Fuck.Yourself.” You cut him off, your voice as sharp as a blade, and you step out of the car.
The atmosphere is heavy, both of your chest heaving heavily as you stand straight on the sidewalk. You keep your chin high, tightly gripping onto the luxury, and probably very expensive, door of the car. You wait in hope to, at the very least, get wished a respectful goodnight. But your crude words had hurt the male’s ego a bit more than you expected.
“Obviously I will, since you won’t do it. After all I’ve done for you...” He rudely says, his teeth clenching so tightly you could hear their unpleasant gritting. You slam the door, hard. Not giving a damn about how you might’ve broken it. He speeds down the street, leaving you standing there, at your request.
You shoot him a last fuck you, joinging a obscene hand gesture with your vile words, before you see the car turn a corner, and disappear from your sight.
You run your hand across your face, not caring that it would smudge your makeup.
What the fuck was this date.
That's it. You are done. Done dating. All of the dates you've been on lately ended up being with shitty alphaholes. You have reached your limit.
You take a big shaky sigh, trying to control your trembling hands as you reach for your purse to take out your phone, and call the only person you trusted to get you back home.
You dialed the number, the phone ringing once, twice-
“Y/N? You're okay?”
Ruhn… Maybe it's just the alcohol you had inhibited earlier tonight, or the exhaustion, or the accumulation of failed dates that are making you feel so sentimental. You gulp down your tears, and clear your throat. “Could you, uh… Could you pick me up?”
You immediately hear Ruhn starting to rustle and get ready on the other side of the phone. “Of course, I'm coming right up, send me your location,” His keys jingle, then you can discern the sound of the motor of his car roaring. You quickly pull the phone away from your ear, putting him on speaker so you can text him your location. “Are you okay though? Are you safe?” He urges, and you realize you haven't answered his question the first time he asked it.
“Yeah, I'm…” You hesitate. Yes what? Yes you were okay? That would be a lie, and you wouldn't lie to Ruhn. “Safe.” You finish, hoping that your answer will do the job.
“Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes maximum,” You can hear him start to drive off, the ticking of his car flasher echoing in the background of the phone call. “Do you want me to stay on the line?” He questions, his voice soft and yet laced with concern.
You aren't even sure what you want anymore. You dab the back of your finger on your inferior lid, trying to dry the tears before they roll out of your eyes. “No, it's fine.” But is it? Your stomach churn, disgusted to be, again, asking your friend to rescue you from an horrible date.
You and your poor choices in men.
“Alright, I'll be right there, stay safe.” Ruhn's soft voice rings from your phone.
The gentleness of his voice makes your cheeks heat slightly, and your heart flutters at how much he cares. “Yeah, love you.” The words slip out on their own, and you gape, staring at your phone, almost dropping it to the ground.
But Ruhn laughs from the other side of the phone, not seeming to be bothered at all from your outburst of affection. “Yeah, love you too.” He teases, reusing your own words, before hanging up.
Oh you fucked up. Why did you say that?! What's wrong with you?! You groan, putting your phone back into your purse and cross your bare arms on your chest. You try to heat yourself up, a difficult task indeed, considering there's only a short, too short in your opinion but perfectly short in Bryce's opinion, pretty black dress.
Your heels are killing you, so you take them off your feet, hissing at the cold contact of the sidewalk on your bare feet. That for sure is a nice way to sober you up.
Before you can bend down to pick them up, Ruhn’s car stops right in front of you, and he quickly gets out of the car to help you out. “My sister dressed you up again?” He snickers, picking up your heels then easily lifts you up into his tattooed arms before settling you down on the passenger seat.
“Why, you think I can't dress myself up for a date?” You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. Ruhn rests his arms on the top of the car, slightly leaned forward, and rolls his eyes. He pulls out a ticket out of his leather jacket, and you snatch it out of his fingers, inspecting it.
A car wash coupon.
You hum, turning it over in your hands as Ruhn smirk grows bigger with every passing second. He closes the door, and takes the seat beside yours, settling behind the wheel. “Am I forgiven for my misplaced teasing?”
“Is it the car wash where they have the pretty lights and the tricolor foam?”
“Yes.”
Your fake pout turns into a smile and you uncross your arms, kicking your feet excitedly. “Then you are forgiven.”
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Ruhn stops at the gas station to fill his tank before you two go to the car wash. You wait for him in the car, scrolling on your phone. A phone call pops up on your screen.
Brandon 💕
You quickly decline the call, erase the contact name and block his number from your phone. You sigh, pushing it aside. At the same moment, Ruhn opens the driver’s door with two slushies in hand. One red, one blue.
Ruhn grins, then hands over the red one, your favorite, to you. “Moral support drink,” He winks at you, and clings his plastic cup with yours. The cherry flavored shredded ice melts in your mouth, soothing every nerve of your body. You peer at Ruhn from the corner of your eyes as he drives to the entry of the car wash. His tattooed arm stretches out the window to slide the ticket in the machine, and the heavy car wash door buzzes.
Blue, pink, green, orange lights welcome you in as the car moves slowly inside. You'd never get tired of this kind of…
What is this called, a date? Between friends? Yeah. Probably.
The blush heating up your cheek is hidden by the bright changing lights of the car wash, and you jolt out of your thoughts at the sound of the water starting to spray the car. Ruhn hands over the phone wire connected to his car to you. “Want to put on some of your music?” You nod, connecting your phone to his car and scrolling through your playlist.
Ruhn taps his fingers on the wheel as the two of you keep sipping your drinks in silence for a while, drowning in all of the sounds and colors of the car wash. Ruhn was the one to break the silence first. “So…”
“So..?”
He bites down on his lower lip, thinking about his next words. “Mind to explain to me why you ended up tipsy and dressed…” He stops, taking a moment to look at your ravishing, yet quite revealing dress. A breath catches in his throat, and he scratches the back of his neck, trying to ease some tension. “Dressed heavenly, standing on a sidewalk, alone, in the middle of a relatively chill night?” He finishes.
You sigh, looking away from him. You play with the purple straw of your cup, swirling it around to make the rest of the shredded ice melt, in hope it will give you a few more sips. “Bad date.” You mumble under your breath, the shame of again seeking comfort from Ruhn after a bad date. But Ruhn didn't seem to mind for one bit. Always picking up his phone and dropping everything he was doing the second you need him.
Ruhn nods, and takes a long sip of his drink, the two of you staying silent once again. The tricolor foam soap starts its calming pitter platter on the top of the car, and you drift your eyes up from your cup to admire the mousse landing on the windshield. “And how's this date going so far?” Your eyes widen, and Ruhn feels his heart skip a beat at his sudden boldness.
“What kind of date?” You risk asking him. Your heart is beating incredibly fast as he dives his beautiful blue eyes into yours.
His usual playful grin has completely gone vacant from his face, his expression more serious than you've ever seen him as he speaks. “The kind of date I wish would turn us into more than… friends.” The last word tastes bitter on Ruhn's tongue as he swallows down his nervousness.
He had absolutely no clue why tonight is the night he suddenly got the guts to confess his feelings for you. Surely, his sister's pep talk had helped him get that broomstick out of his butt.
You admire the way the changing lights made Ruhn's blue eyes tinted with every color. Your hand instinctively reaches for his cheek, his soul singing to yours to come closer. His beauty was hypnotizing you, and the way he opened up his heart to you, sitting there, vulnerable beside you makes your heart swell.
Your hand rests against his chest, and you can feel his heart beneath the palm of your hand, it is beating as fast as yours. “I swear to every Gods, Ruhn Danaan…” You whisper, and his hand tangles with the hair at your nape when you bring your face only inches away from his. “That you're the last fucking male I give a chance to.”
“And I promise you that I'll worship you everyday of my life for this chance.” He murmurs, before your lips finally get a chance to taste each other. You shiver at the feeling of Ruhn's cold lips, especially as his lips piercing glides over your lower lip. His hand quickly unbuckles the two of your seat belts, and he parts his lips from yours quickly to back his seat so he can slide you over his laps comfortably.
You straddle him, his hands sliding up your dress on your hips so you can comfortably put your knees on each side of him. You attach your hips back to his, and he kisses you back, deeper this time, as he slides his tongue against yours, both of your slushies flavors mixing in your mouths.
You jolt and your lips break apart when the loud ringing of the car wash indicates that the session is over. You timidly move off Rhun's lap with his help, bursting out laughing when your butt accidently presses the honk in the process. Ruhn moves his seat forward, adjusting himself behind the wheel, while you start putting your seatbelt back on.
Your fingers brushes your lips softly, feeling as if the feeling of Ruhn’s lips against yours was still lingering there. The tattooed male keeps his eyes fixed on the road as he drives away from the car wash, cheeks flustered and still panting slightly. “Sorry, I-” He gulps down, but before he can apologize more, you burst out laughing.
He could listen to this sound for centuries and never get tired of it.
“Don't worry, it was perfect.” You bite your lower lip, and you hesitantly brush your pinky against his. He wraps his fingers with yours, and squeezes them softly, never wanting to let go.
“So… I guess that means I get to take you out on more dates?” He says, trying to keep his voice steady as he speaks.
“I guess it does.” You smirk.
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Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe
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the-ellia-west · 15 hours
Text
INTRO POST!!1!!!!!1!
Hello! I'm Ellia! Welcome to my weird-ass writeblr blog! Here's some things to know about me:
I am an Aspiring author and Devoted Christian Woman. I live in the USA (CDT time zone) I am a minor, and the only other language I know is some very spotty spanish.
I mainly write Fantasy, and I'm working on four main projects (Listed Below)!
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I like: Jesus, Bright Colors, People, Writing, Reading, Cats, Music, Warm Weather, Rain, Flowers, Dresses, and my Moots!
I Dislike: The texture of wool, Heavy Lifting, Baked Beans, Sin, Satan, Demons, and the Time Travel Trope
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Hey! Pst! Before you continue! I have a side blog! Check out @jakkon-and-rose-topic if you want to read some stuff!
Tags:
Ellia Writes - Any talking or sharing of any aspect of any of my WIPs
Ellia's Construction Company - How I make stuff, tutorials, ect.
Ghost Macarena Party - Chatting and geeking out with my friends/Moots
Ellia answers - Answering questions
Ellia's Rambling - Me talking about stuff (a little too much)
Ellia's Haunted house - Any posts that I could slot into my story and character/world building. And my pile of creations (Including shitposts)
Ellia's mind palace - Stuff I'm adding to my mental Library :]
Ghost gardens - Aesthetic Pictures and stuff
Ghost scribbles - Art/Drawing Practice
My Wips:
TCOT - (The Cursed One's Throne) - TCOT is a low fantasy Novel Series I have been working on for 5 years, and I hope to publish in the next year, and the Main Wip I will work on and talk about on this blog (Tags: #elliatcot, #ellia tcot, #ellia's tcot, #the cursed one's throne)
J&R - (Placeholder Title) - J&R is My Side blog, You can get a better idea of what it is over there! (Tags: N/A)
StF - (Steel and Feathers) - StF is a High Fantasy project about a Chosen one And stuff (Tags: #stf, #elliastf, #ellia'sstf, #ellia stf, #ellia stf)
Fallen - (That's the title) - A High Fantasy Romance between a Runaway Noble and a Disgraced (probably Criminal) (Tags: #elliafallen, #ellia'sfallen, #ellia fallen, #ellia's fallen, #rustpearl)
[StF Short story Masterpost Goes here]
Old Pinned post Copy-paste below (followed by my moots)
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------------------------------------ Hey there! Hi! You! Tumblr user!
Are you a fan of epic fantasy? Want a story with romance, action, and sassy heroes and villains? How about some good old-fashioned ANGST?
If so, you're in luck! Get ready for the upcoming release of The Cursed One's Throne (TCOT for short), coming... well, eventually!
A story of trauma, war, recovery, trust, and love intertwined with curses, magic, sacrifice, and a few too little hours of sleep. Who needs a release date when you've got me, the very entertaining author, right?
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Wtf is TCOT?
TCOT sneak Peek
Worldbuilding
Music
TCOT Ships
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Post this comes from
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✨️Moots✨️💫
@aesthetic-writer18 - An Awesome Writer who is amazing fun and is very pretty <33
@agirlandherquill - HER WORDS ARE ART, GO FOLLOW NOW
@aredeemantagonist - Fun to talk to! AMAZING IDEASSS
@artsandstoriesandstuff - AWESOME ARTIST WITH AMAZINGLY CREATIVE IDEAS, FOLLOW THEM NOW!!!
@bigwipscholar - Yes
@bloodmoonloveletter - Slay
@blue-kyber - READ IT ALL
@corinneglass - Why is she so amazing and sweet?!??!? I do not deserve her 😔
@cosmolumine - Extremely Creative with wonderful ideas you can't help but get hooked on :]
@cybercelestian - I don't talk to her as much as I'd like to, but I live her <333
@darkandstormydolls - AN AMAZING WRITER, Her research on medieval clothing and settings is really cool and useful too! <3
@fantastictrashpolice - I need to talk to her more often too because she is very sweet and wonderful <3
@i-hate-happy-endings - A wonderful author with FANTASTIC ideas that you all should check out!!
@illarian-rambling - ALL OF HER IDEAS MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM, I WISH I COULD BE THIS CREATIVE AND WONDERFUL
@lunaeuphternal - A wonderful friend who I don't speak to often but is an amazing person you should check out!
@pastellbg - A Wonderful artist and friend all of you Need to follow!!!! (Slay Queen)
@phoenixradiant - His ideas and writing is amazing and poetic in EVERY SINGLE WORD he chooses
@rivenantiqnerd - YES
@savepoint-has-died - ALSO YES
@sl-vega
@somethingclevermahogony
@starmanbutitsregulusblack
@sunflowerrosy - Why does she follow me, I am so LAME?!?@?@?
@sunglasses-in-the-bentley - My beloved adopted daughter who deserves all the attention :]]]
@supercimi - A WONDERFUL friend with ALL the Amazing ideas you could wish for
@thecoolerlucky
@thelazywitchphotographer
@themortalityofundyingstars - YES, CHASE IS AWESOME. EXISTS AND I AM VERY GLAD FOR THAT, VERY FUN TO TALK TO
@thepeculiarbird - Amazing Artist, I deeply admire her every word and movement
@urnumber1star - The author I can only wish to be 😔✊️ Follow them
@vyuntspakhkite-l-darling - THE MOST CREATIVE AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING IDEAS I THINK I HAVE EVER SEEN
If you made it all the way to the end, have a wonderful day, don't forget to drink water, have a little snack, sleep, take a walk, and Don't forget that I love you :] <3333
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Note
hii! <3 could you write an angst matt fic based on the song 'the night we met' by Lord Huron? Thanks smmmm!!
The Night We Met | M.S
Warnings: Descriptions of panic attacks, talks of anxiety and depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts
PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THE TOPIC OF SUICIDE IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU. THE TOPIC IS THOROUGHLY DISCUSSED. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION
I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt
Matt and I had been close friends for about 8 months. We had been through our ups and downs but in the end we always ended up right where we belonged. Together. Even when we felt alone. Matt had talk about a few girls he had dated before . How he had dated other girls for a few days with months in between. He said he wanted something real. He wanted someone real. He wanted to not be alone.
I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met
He told me about wanting to have someone he could hold, and love. Someone who could love him the way he needed. I thought back to me and him meeting in that parking lot. It was that middle of May and I had run out to go get a few drinks for me and my group of friends. I was alone. I had been struggling a lot that month so on the curb I had taken a minute to collect myself. I could feel my heart rate quicken, and my breathing become shallow. He had been walking up to the entrance of the store when he saw me sitting there. Alone.
"Hey um.. are you ok?" He had asked so softly but so kindly. I looked up at the boy. He had kinda messy, short, brown hair. He was wearing a black hoodie with some jeans and Air Forces. I could see through my tear filled eyes his hand fidgeting with his fingers as if to calm himself. The anxious boy sat down next to me and we talked for about an hour or so. In the end he had given me his phone number, and comfort. I knew then that he would become my safe space. My comfort. My home.
And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do
Matt stood there now. Alone. He had stopped being responsive after finding them. His best friend had taken their own life. In his home. In his care. Matt had always leaned on them. They we're each others crutches for living. Their support. So when that support is taken, stolen even, what more can he do but stand there. Alone.
The next few months of Matt's life had been hell. Not just for him but for everyone who loved him. Chris and Nick had taken him to hospitals and doctors. He had to stay at the hospital for 2 weeks in the first month of their death. He had stopped eating. Nick and Chris had done everything imaginable.
And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you
Matt wouldn't talk. Not a word. He wants to speak he just can't seem to find his voice. He wishes he could speak. So he could say that he doesn't regret a single moment he had with you. But some part of him does. He wishes he had comforted them, but then left them on that sidewalk. He wishes he had done that because maybe then they could still be here. Sure, they wouldn't be with him, but they would be here. Not alone.
I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you
He often thought back on the time they had spent together. He remember the weeks after they had met. The healing. He had opened up to them about his own struggles. His anxiety, his depression and other things life had throw his way. And they did the same with him. They talked about life with him. He remember the moment when he realized that you had both healed. That you two were whole again. That neither of you were alone. But it got worse. It had gotten worse and they said nothing. He knew they didn't speak up because they felt like they were burdening him but them being gone was the biggest burden of all. He remember watching them get worse but saying nothing, believing they would come to him when they were ready. But they never did. So he sat on his bed. Alone. He drove out to that parking lot. Alone. He had taken his own life after losing yours in that parking lot. Alone. His last thoughts were remembering that fateful night when he saw a stranger crying on the curb. Alone.
Take me back to the night we met
How we feeling lol?
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todorokis-girl · 1 day
Note
Hi! Well then, I have request!
The new bnha ending hitted me hard so I wanted to request something for Touya.
I don't know I'd you are up to date with the manga ( I sure am not, so no spoilers, don't worry) but I want to have some fluff angst so XD
Could you please write about Touya meeting his childhood friend and best friend ( an old crush maybe) again after the war, please?
Thank you!
Ashes - Dabi x f!Reader
I hope you like it, please let me know on why you think!
Masterlist
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he city lay in ruins, a testament to the cataclysmic battles that had torn it apart. Fires still smoldered in the wreckage, a stark reminder of the chaos that had ensued. Among the rubble and ash, survivors wandered aimlessly, their eyes reflecting the trauma and loss they had endured. Touya, better known to the world as Dabi, lurked in the shadows, his charred skin and vacant stare marking him as a relic of past horrors.
He hadn't expected to survive. After all he had done, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Yet here he was, hiding among the debris, searching for... what? Redemption? Closure? He wasn't sure anymore. The war had taken everything from him—his family, his purpose, his humanity.
Dabi crouched in the remnants of an old warehouse, the dark interior a welcome refuge from the outside world. He kept to the corners, avoiding the light that streamed through the broken windows. He knew he was being hunted. The heroes wouldn't stop until they had captured or killed him. He didn't blame them.
Suddenly, a noise outside caught his attention. Footsteps, hesitant and light, crunching over the debris. He tensed, ready to flee or fight, when a voice—a soft, familiar voice—called out, "Touya? Are you here?"
He froze. It couldn't be. He crept closer to the source of the voice, peering through a crack in the wall. There, amid the wreckage, stood Y/N. She was older, of course, her hair longer and her eyes carrying the weight of the years, but it was undeniably her.
"Y/N," he whispered to himself, his heart aching at the sight of her.
She wandered through the debris, looking lost but determined. "Touya, if you're here, please come out. I need to see you."
He wanted to run, to hide further, but something in her voice—desperation, maybe hope—compelled him to step out of the shadows. "Y/N," he said, his voice rough and unfamiliar to his own ears.
She turned sharply, her eyes widening in shock and relief. "Touya!" she cried, rushing toward him. She stopped short, inches away, her eyes scanning his scarred face, his burnt skin. "It's really you."
"It's me," he confirmed, his voice barely more than a whisper. "But I'm not the same."
She reached out, her hand hovering near his cheek, hesitant to touch the burn scars. "I know," she said softly. "But you're still here. That's what matters."
He stepped back, shaking his head. "You don't understand, Y/N. I'm not the person you knew. I've done terrible things. Hurt people. Killed people."
"And you think that means you don't deserve to be cared about? To be loved?" she asked, her voice breaking.
He looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "I don't deserve anything."
Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Finally, Y/N spoke, her voice soft but firm. "We all make mistakes, Touya. Some bigger than others. But that doesn't mean we can't try to make things right. That doesn't mean we can't be forgiven."
He laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. "Forgiven? By whom? My family? The people I've hurt? They'd rather see me dead."
"Maybe," she conceded, taking a step closer. "But I'm not them. I remember the boy who used to bring me flowers from his mother's garden. The boy who would defend his friends no matter the cost. That boy is still in there somewhere. And I forgive you. Believe it or not your family loves you, and they’re worried sick about you”
Her words broke something inside him, the dam he had built around his heart crumbling. He sank to his knees, the weight of his guilt and sorrow pressing down on him. Y/N knelt beside him, wrapping her arms around him, holding him as he wept.
For a long time, they stayed like that, two broken souls finding solace in each other's presence. When his tears finally subsided, he looked at her, really looked at her, and saw the flicker of hope in her eyes.
"Why?" he asked, his voice raw. "Why are you here?"
"Because you need someone," she said simply. "And because I care about you."
He closed his eyes, the simple truth of her words piercing through his defenses. "I don't know if I can ever be whole again," he admitted.
"Maybe not," she said softly. "But we can try. Together."
He nodded, a small, tentative smile tugging at his lips. For the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of something he thought he'd lost forever: hope. With Y/N by his side, maybe, just maybe, he could find a way to heal.
As they sat there, amidst the ruins of the past, a fragile new beginning took root. It wouldn't be easy, and the road ahead would be fraught with challenges. But for now, in this moment, Touya allowed himself to believe in the possibility of redemption, and the power of forgiveness.
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