Hey everybody, I hope you're doing well!! I feel terrible asking for support again but I still haven't been able to get a job yet... I could really use some help with the basics! If any kind friend or stranger is willing and able to provide relief, it would make a huge difference in my life! If you can't help via wishlist, sending kind words or just reblogging would go a long way as well. Thank you for reading. I hope life is kinder to us all

Lingshan Hermit: If the World Was Not of Emptiness

Student: "You spoke of emptiness last time, but I still don't fully understand why we are of emptiness. What benefits do we gain from understanding emptiness?"

Lingshan Hermit: "If we were not of emptiness, then we would appear the same in the eyes of all sentient beings. Everyone's perception of us should be identical. However, this is clearly against reality. Each individual perceives us differently. As the Western saying goes: 'There are as many Shakespeares as there are people.' When we watch a movie with family, we think we are watching the same film, but in fact, each of us sees something different. What you perceive is influenced by your karmic forces and impurities. A scene that makes someone else laugh might not affect you at all. If actual sizes existed, something we consider small, like a grape, would not seem large to an ant. If beauty and ugliness truly existed, cats would find human beauties attractive. But they don't, which is why they often dislike kisses from humans. If the dollar truly held the value we perceive it to, then even those who are untouched by modern civilization and isolated from the world should see it the same way. They might not even recognize it as paper. Different beings can have entirely opposite perceptions of the same thing. What makes you happy might be hell for another. We hastily assign labels to everything and then forget that they are just that—labels. What seems obvious to us might be entirely different in another's eyes. These truths have always been in front of us, yet we still believe that references like 'big and small', 'beautiful and ugly', 'more or less' truly exist. We even think an orange is simply an orange, and a computer is just a computer. In reality, we only see our perceptions of things and can't truly perceive the items themselves. We're like projectors, only seeing the biases we project onto things. If we were not of emptiness, it would indeed be tragic. We couldn't grow, learn, or become more attractive. We would remain as we were at birth; we couldn't have long hair. There would be no Apple computers, no cars, no planes. If the components of an Apple computer had an inherent nature, they couldn't come together to form a computer. They might not even become components, staying embedded in rocks. We couldn't drink water, eat, lose weight, use skincare products, or face masks. If you weren't of emptiness, if you were a fixed entity as you believe, no amount of skincare would help, your skin wouldn't absorb it. If we weren't of emptiness, reincarnation wouldn't exist; you couldn't be reborn as a sheep. We couldn't achieve Buddhahood and wouldn't change. You wouldn't feel cold, nor could you warm up. If rice wasn't of emptiness, it couldn't be cooked; it wouldn't digest even after a year of eating. Thankfully, it is of emptiness, as are we. In truth, our body and mind are transient phenomena made up of countless ever-changing causes and conditions. Nothing is as we think it is. Our suffering stems from mistakenly believing things have inherent existence. Emptiness means lacking inherent existence, not non-existence as many understand it. It's one of Buddha's most intricate teachings. Therefore, don't expect to comprehend what I'm saying in a short span. Even with a true teacher and mastering the path of accumulating merit and purifying obscurations, it might take years of practice to truly understand."

This article was first published on February 5th, 2017.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：如果世界不是空性的话

I have a personal theory about how part of why Wrathion is so "grown up" is bc of him being spliced with the titan thing and it also giving him way too much knowledge for a newborn to have. Like, I truly believe that dragon eggs aren't at all sentient before they hatch but Wrathion does think they are since he was, but it's all bc of all the knowledge in him and no one around to correct him about it. And since no other dragon took care of him properly as a child, all he has to go on is the adults around him and try to mimic them and guess the rest of how he works, and by extension all other dragons. This theory would also explain his "childish" outbursts, bc despite all his knowledge, he IS still a child that wasn't trained by a parental figure to properly convey his emotions in a healthy way. I honestly cant be annoyed by his behavior, i just feel extreme heartache for this poor soul. It's just such a fucked up existence and there's no one around to give him guidance. idk maybe its all in my head or maybe I'm not conveying my thoughts well but I can only see Wrathion as an insanely tragic character.

Love u for all these paragraphs ♥️♥️♥️

For real though! There's a stage in fetal development where like, you can roughly estimate when they start to feel pain as we know it. But then the baby comes out and it's still... a baby, you know? Basically a human-shaped caterpillar.

There's even a difference in dragons between whelplings and whelps: whelps like Lillistrasza can talk but still sound like grade schoolers, while whelplings (at least the battle pet whelplings) only squawk.

I've always thought of Wrathion's circumstances as not only a crisis bad enough to warrant CPS intervention (if CPS existed in his world, lmao) but also an indictment of Azeroth's (individualist) culture specifically.

It's sort of like how, on the internet, as soon as you graduate from sensory videos and Cocomelon you're expected to manage your own intake of content and keep your cool if you see something you didn't want to. There's tons of videos on YouTube making fun of 5 year olds' tantrums in games like Minecraft and Fortnite.

Wrathion happened to hear the red dragons plotting to kill him if he didn't obey. They might not have known he could hear them, but they knew he'd been reassembled by a titan artifact, belonging to the race that gave them greater intellect and completely changed their anatomy.

So he escaped: and then who does the red flight send but Mostrasz, with nothing but contempt for the mortal rogues who've been sheltering Wrathion all this time. Who eventually tries to kill Wrathion for being too difficult to control (or at least, Wrathion sees Mostrasz' violence as an attempt on his own life.) Just like Fahradion eventually does, too.

At least Fahrad has the excuse of being driven mad.

The question is: can anyone convince him to accept guidance, or even just care, before the end-point of his own individualist streak, where he looks back and realizes how deeply he was neglected? Is that something anyone but himself can solve at this point? Is anyone on Azeroth, raised with Azerothian values, capable of getting through to him without patronizing him?

We've seen a lot of people try, starting with Anduin but especially now in Dragonflight. I wouldn't be surprised if Ebyssian has the best shot out of all the canon characters... but that's what OCs are for too!! 🤪

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #18: “Innernette” | January 14, 2008 - 12:15AM | S02E08

Now you’re in for a treat. And, that treat is, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job. Lotta fun skits and bits and I’m gonna watch them all twice and laugh at all the parts where they are funny.

This one has a cold-as-hell opening of Jeff Goldblum advertising his new venture Jeff GoldBluMan Group. It’s literally just Jeff Goldblum being blue like those Group guys. “It’s a sizzler, please watch.” I often say that the show rarely uses pop culture references, but this very much qualifies as one of those “rare times”. This bit comes back later in the show in the form of a music video where the Jeff GoldBluMan just whistles, and then gets dollar signs in his eyes. I don’t remember finding this bit particularly funny the first time I saw it, but I sure howled this time around. It is just pure stupidity, the type I really admire. 

A very strong and memorable wraparound features Tim & Eric selling “The Internette”, which is a version of the internet that’s contained on a mini CD-Rom. It features 5 virtual friends who can chat with you, and 103 songs, and various ways you can simulate being connected to a large network even though you are not. This is maybe one of their easiest-to-grasp sketches and it’s only a touch deranged. They have a thoughtfully tacky look. I feel like as the show went on, the wraparounds would become a much more mixed bag, and more inspired ones become fewer and further between. This is a GREAT one, though. I feel like this is a good “for beginners” sketch for a would-be Tim & Eric fan. 

On Uncle Muscles we are treated to a Casey Tatum (and his brother) song for their mommy. The song and accompanying video (made up of home video footage of a younger Casey and His Brother being abused) are a very tragic depiction of one mean mamma! This bitch is a handful, and you’ll just love seeing her neglect her sons. It’s so sad that singer guy hurls. Sick! 

David Cross is BACK! I forgot this sketch exists. It’s a fake ad for Pussy Doodles, a product that lets your cat paint by mistake. I think this sketch is sorta weak; I think they knew it wasn’t the strongest idea on paper but figured David could make some gold out of it anyway. He does an okay job. I think he’s being a little self-consciously “more Tim and Ericy” in this. I do like when he wails in despair because his cat escapes it’s harness and runs away. That single joke is maybe the perfect marriage of his and Tim & Eric’s sensibilities. A reprise of the sketch features faux behind-the-scenes footage of Bob Odenkirk as the director of the commercial, yelling at him. The best part of this is when the cat in the sketch scratches David at the end, and you can hear David break character a little bit. It’s always nice when these two daddys get back to mackin’ with each other, you gotta admit, and agree.

There’s also a living with Dr. Steve Brule about living on your lonesome. Funny area for a sketch, and Brule is usually at least a little amusing. This one seems a little too tossed off and I think there’s anything truly exceptional in this one. Brule’s advice is very general, like saying about how you should meal prep and go to bed early. There’s a surprise third one that I won’t spoil! It’s about making your own puzzles. 

There’s also a fun dance party featuring some of Tim & Eric’s wack pack. We also see Casey Tatum’s mom from before. “All I want to do is dance and fuck!”. GREAT LINE. I thought maybe it was quoting Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me, but searching it in quotes pulls up so much Tim & Eric stuff. It could be in the spirit of that one scene.That one scene I thought it was quoting.

Having lots of thoughts on Steelheart at the moment and decided to share some here-

I’ve really struggled a long time with posting any of my work onto the internet. For a lot of reasons, but one of them being that the stories I wanna write and tell for Fallout specifically are ones I know that very few will be interested in.

I work in social media at the moment and just being in fandom as a writer and looking at the numbers means that I know ahead of time what will “do well” on tungle dot hell or on ao3. I know what’s popular!

If I wrote Steelheart from Butch’s perspective and focused on their romance and made it more about him I know it would be at least slightly more popular- and its made me really insecure. Is the story I’m writing worth writing? Is it interesting? Would it be better to do just that?

(Please note that I do love stories that do all that as well, and this by no means a critique or shitting on them. If anything, the fact I love them so much makes me more insecure about my own writing choices.)

But, Steelheart isn’t Butch’s story. He’s the love interest, and won’t even become a perspective character until the latter half. He’s so important to the story and it wouldn’t be the same without him! But this is Amy’s story. It always has been, but I struggle constantly with whether or not it’s worth telling.

And I have to remind myself constantly of why I’m writing it. Amy’s story is just a piece of a bigger hole. Her story sets up Leo, gives context for his existence, because down the line he’s going to become a major character with entirely his own plot and story! Her story sets up Sunshine, in ways that I’ve been cagey about, but would be remarkably obvious (I think???) if anyone just. Looked at the random shit I’ve posted about them both.

And I COULD’VE told her story through flashbacks, through the stories that other people tell about her. In some ways, thematically, that would’ve been more impactful. The Lone Wanderer is a myth, a legend, a hero who very few truly knew and understood, but her story is already so heartbreaking and tragic. The hand she gets dealt is so DUMB unfair and it felt... bad? To make her just a footnote? Just a stepping stone to other heroes rise?

Because she means a lot to me- she’s the character whom is probably most reflective of my internal feelings. She’s a protector, a caretaker, even if she isn’t the same kind I am, and she struggles with feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. When I’m in a bad spot writing out Amy’s own bad internal feelings lets me vent it out, and I have the knowledge that she always gets better. Even if her fate is ultimately a tragedy, it’s always been one that’s supposed to be marked by hope.

And yeah, numbers shouldn’t matter. Working in social media has made me almost too aware of how to get the good numbers and I hate it. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I could just write my stories because they make me happy, but it just... isn’t the reality.

Because writing and art doesn’t exist in a vaccuum! If no one stops to go “hey this is neat” it fucking hurts! And I don’t really blame people it’s just-

It hurts and is frustrating. Because I know what would make people pay attention, but I refuse to compromise my vision! I’ve been working on this world and these characters stories since fucking summer of 2017. Steelheart is one part in at least a four part series that explores so much of the world of Fallout because I ADORE this world. I have barely stopped thinking about since I got into the fandom and I just hope-

I just hope one day my love for these stories gets reflected back at me? I’ll probably have to learn to live without that but. It’d be neat. It’d be cool. It’d be chill.

I recognize that this might sound whiney or “hey come look at my fanfic because you pity me” but its really not supposed to. I kinda just, wanna voice this on my blog because its my own space. I don’t wanna just hold my thoughts to myself just because other people would take a lot of this in the wrong way.

TLDR; I really love Steelheart being fromy Amy's perspective and focusing on her journey as a person, but I'm super insecure about it because I think everyone would rather just here about her love story with Butch!! Which is super important to her growth as her person (and I really love romance as well), but I also I hope people like the other parts of it too ;;

I still don’t feel like writing much, which I am so apologetic for because I feel as though I write now for my audience. I’m still not sure how the internet gathers information, but now it leads me all to you. Human things entertain me so much. I’m sure there is a system of maths and parts that goes into the actual workings of technology but I’d like to imagine it as a big black hole and I’m being pulled down into every depraved, black corner of vast space.

I’d like to think of interacting on the internet similar to entering the Cenobite world from Hellraiser.

Nevertheless—

I know Lestat has given away more unfortunate information in his recent books, but without any current threat of destruction, I suppose there’s no point in pretending we don’t exist. However, certain accounts of our collective culture I believe should remain only between Vampires and therefore, I will not explain why I left New York for some weeks. (I do have evidence to prove that the ridiculousness of his last three novels were to throw mortals off of the idea of immortals really murdering them, but I digress) I will tell you that, tragically, I had to sever myself from my beloved Daniel for the longest time since returning to me, and especially since his accident. A lot of loose ends needed tying up and then I was caught dealing with business in Miami entirely from France… over the phone. I truly did want to see Night Island in person, but it was unfeasible to go from Rhône-Alpes, to Miami and then back to New York City. I just wanted to see Daniel as soon as I could. I don’t need to witness the rehabilitation of our island in person if it means abandoning him again. And Lestat and Louis knew I was antsy so— they probably forgave me for running-off without explaining.

Benji told me this is “an Irish goodbye.” Funny. I’ll have to research that.

And now I am back in Brooklyn and every piece of my mind is exhausted beyond belief. I don’t have the energy to muse on and on about my two greatest and infamous colleagues because I could write my own series of novels on just my relationship with them. It would take so much of my labor.

I will answer you, however, in time. Let me feast on some bodies and I’ll have regained all of my faculties. But for now I’ll be people-watching from my jacuzzi on my third floor balcony.

When I was in France, Louis took the opportunity to lecture me about how I never see how privileged I’ve become. That my brain learned to block any good thing to ever happen to me. I think the reason I surrender to Louis so much is because he can understand a part of my mind that I can’t see for myself. Like, how they say your eyes can see your nose but your brain forgets it because then it would be a distraction? Exactly like that. Louis can see my nose clearly, but I’ve learned to ignore it. Much like Daniel, for some reason I naturally forgive Louis for his blunt observations.

Perhaps I can find that enlightenment sitting in this water, across from my only fledgeling, in a house where I have a consistent presence of loved ones living.

The thought of the absence of suffering is more terrifying than the actual suffering. Or something like that.

Can I ask... I apologize in advance if this a sensitive topic, I tried searching on the internet, but English isn't my first language and I can't seem to find the right phrase or word for it so my search doesn't lead to an answer. In what situation does the "save the mother or the child" comes? I mean like... what happens to make those options arise? Because I can't grasp the... condition for that problem...? Like, why can't they save both or how does the other one survive and the other doesn't? Say you save the mother... do you kill the baby in her stomach? Or you save the child... do you just cut the mother open? Like let her bleed out??

I tried picturing the 'House of the Dragon' scene where the queen gives birth before C-section was invented. They did cut her open and let her bleed to death. But technically, how could she survive that in the case the doctors decided to save her instead of the baby? (injecting a poison of some sort to the baby perhaps? but that'll probably kill the mother too). And in todays era, C-section already exist with safe procedure, so I'm curious what would cause such situation to happen.

(The thoughts did come from Meadow's scene, I'm sorry. I'm in my 20s, but I lack the education ㅠㅠ)

Don't worry about it at all! I won't be able to give a full comprehensive view but I can help a little with what I know. I will say that in Meadow, Bronwen was absolutely jumping to worse case scenario and imaginging the worst. I don't think she was even understanding a specific reason for that decision, just panicking and trying to tell Jungkook not to make a medical decision for her that would potentially harm their child.

It boils down to who is prioritized in a dangerous medical situation. Thanks to modern medicine, this isn't something that's as big an issue as way back when, when babies could be stuck and you'd have to decide whether you get the baby out at cost to the mother (which I think is the situation you're decribing though I haven't watched that show.)

I think more contemporary examples of having to make decisions like this would be, the mother requires life-saving medication/treatment/surgery that poses a risk of loss of the baby so the decision must be made whether to move forward with that or not; the recommendation likely depends on whether the baby could be safely delivered prematurely if needed, and how urgent/emergency the medical need is, or whether it's a truly tragic situation involving late term abortion. I have a friend who required multiple life-saving surgeries during her pregnancy post 20 weeks. Baby was fine, but there was a risk of loss each time. I've heard of women who discovered cancer while pregnant and some chose to abort and undergo chemo, while others chose to delay chemo and cancer treatment even if it put them past the point of treatment.

I think those are the scenarios in which someone could make a child-first decision because you're right that often, mother and child are both undergoing an emergency together and the goal is always to save both as first priority.

Fiction in LIFE

I’ve had some amazing experiences in my life. I’ve eaten guinea pig under crystal-clear Milky Way nights at high-altitude on Lake Titicaca. I walked on The Great Wall of China. But some of my most memorable moments were not even real. They were pure fiction. Books, films, & TV shows that gave me sorrow, surprise & excitement - fictional moments that have stayed with me as indelibly as if they were real events. As hilarious as it may be to admit that the 13 year old me probably felt more engagement from watching “STAR WARS” than with any real event of 1977, I suspect that I’m not unusual. Homo Sapiens is the story-telling animal, and fiction is a big part of any human life nowadays. 

Even before social media & the internet, TV & film, and long before the printing press, people enjoyed stories. Back when we average peasants were unable to read, people were likewise enthralled by storytellers, whether at the hearth, the tavern, the pulpit or the stage. However, when pre-literate people felt excitement, love, or horror it was mostly from primary sources. From a life actually lived. They were not so immersed in fiction as we are today. 

Nowadays, fiction can now actually be more durable than reality. My memories of “RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK” may be sharper than my memories of long-ago actual visits to Machu Picchu, or bicycling through pagoda sunsets in Bagan. Simply because those real events from my own life can be never be re-experienced, but fictional events can be re-played simply by pressing a button. I could of course revisit Machu Picchu, but the crowded site of 2023 could not feel as in 1989, when it was empty. That particular moment continues only in the memories of the few who were there. 

As well as my years roaming the world & having real life adventures, I’ve also spent years doing the polar opposite, as a medical shut-in. When the scope of my actual world was severely limited, my life was enriched virtually by my access to streaming services. So I truly appreciate the life-saving power of fiction, and have thought a lot about its place in a real, lived human life. 

The human sensitivity to narrative enriches our lives, but leaves us vulnerable too. To manipulation - whether a spam email about a lost inheritance, a political grift about the ‘other’ coming to take your stuff, or someone you know trying to warp your perception of things - the con always begins with a story..

Do other social animals communicate with stories? Do Crows tell each-other legends? Do Dolphins lie to their pod-mates? Can Elephants spread gossip? Do Wolves boast? I’m not sure.. but it is certain that we humans carry a lot of narratives in our minds. We are the Fiction-Loving Animal. Constantly reinterpreting reality, with stories about others or ourselves, sometimes self-defeating. 

This is not to deride fiction itself. After all, I work in the story business - crafting ‘lies’ that will hopefully make people laugh, and feel, or think, and even question. Our ready access to fiction in the modern era can wonderfully broaden our human experience. We’ve all visited outer space, been terrified of creatures that don’t exist, & felt empathy over tragic events that never happened, and come to love (or loathe) non-existent people. Just as facts can be used selectively to lie, I believe that fiction can be used to expose truths. 

I love stories, and my life has been greatly enriched by art, in all its forms. A life devoid of art sounds horrible, but a life of only fiction would be empty too. The nutrition of human existence comes from living real experiences with real people. The art that moves us, does so because it has bottled that feeling, and was made by a human being who’d likewise experienced a lived-life. Fiction is one of the best inventions homo sapiens ever came up with, but must be balanced against living a REAL life. 

Originally published at: https://www.james-baker.com

cynosure. (viii)

─── chapter 8 ! ~ this is how to be a heartbreaker.

summary; you and xiao are genmates under the famed streamer company genshin impact. the chemistry between the two of you is undeniable, and your fanbases absolutely love your collaborations. but when you both start meeting up offline more and more, your connection starts to deepen past just harmless flirting and playful banter. with these real feelings starting to affect both your job and reputation online, how will you two react when your relationship becomes the internet’s cynosure?

a/n: HI I MISSED CYNOSURE SM I JUST TOOK AGES TO WRITE THIS BC OF IRL STUFF AKJWDKJSD BUT IM BACK NOW YEAHHHH aLSO this is quite a long chapter, so strap in for a rollercoaster ride >:) !!!!

as always, reading order is; 1 2 3 4

warnings; angst, hate comments, threatening

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

youtube !

@.kunikuzushi's latest video is #15 on trending; XIAO AND Y/N AREN'T AS PERFECT AS YOU THINK - HERE'S WHY!

without wasting time on clickbait rubbish, let's get right into the video. we all know the internet's current favourite 'it-couple', aka xiao and y/n from genshin impact's liyue third generation. however, i'm here to tell you why they are the most awful and toxic pairing to exist in the streamer fandom, and i've literally been shipped with tartaglia. speaking of which, go check out my other video on why his views have been declining recently! but anyways, before we delve into the deeper stuff, don't forget to hit the subscribe button and click on the bell to get notified whenever i post new videos - you wouldn't want to miss any, would you?

well, now that that's over... i'll start off by saying to please not send hate to any parties involved in this video. kidding! i genuinely could not care less whether you do or don't. as long as you don't say it's from me, you're in the clear, and that's just because i seriously don't want to get demonetised again.

i'd also like to mention that i'm a pretty diehard fan of xiao. that's a lie, i'd never heard of him before he was hired by genshin. but! i did some digging, with some assistance from my talented friend who prefers to be known only as 'the crimson witch', and found his past life. if you're unfamiliar with streamer terms, that's just slang for a persona a streamer used to play before they either retired or signed up to a company. i doubt any of you know who xiao used to be, as it's considered bad taste to doxx a streamer's previous character, but fun fact; i don't give a [####]! ah [####], now i've got to cut that out so i can still get ad revenue.

xiao's former life was as none other than part of the five famed yakshas! this is basically his tragic backstory, which then led to him signing up for genshin and being catapulted into worldwide fame and fortune; jeez xiao, save some main character moments for the rest of us! he used to go by alatus, and in case you don't know what happened to the yakshas, here's a quick summary. while they were famous for creating content as a group, one of the girls was accused of having a relationship, and the internet went wild. i'm talking mass unsubscribing, hate comments, dislike bombing - and not just on her account, on all five of their accounts and their shared account. things only got more heated when a respected updates channel, guess who? if you guessed yours truly, you're absolutely right! if you guessed anyone else... why are you even here? anyway, i posted a huge video about it, which actually kickstarted my career, and well, basically ruined theirs.

the entire internet hopped on a giant bandwagon of hating on them until finally, the group could no longer tolerate it, and the five yakshas were disbanded. nobody knew what had become of each of them, at least until now! i've solved the grand mystery of who xiao is, and now i'll get into why he shouldn't be with y/n.

first off, i pity xiao, okay? i made that video for clout and it actually worked, i didn't expect the yakshas to dissolve because of it. and so i want what's best for xiao, because he deserves some happiness after such a terrible sobstory. therefore, i believe that he shouldn't be with y/n at all! how long have we known her? only around a couple months, which as confirmed by venti's interview, is the same amount of time xiao's known her. yet in that short duration, y/n's been proven countless times to be a terrific flirt, constantly buttering up others in collabs with stupid pick-up lines and flirty expressions. honestly, the second-hand embarrassment i get from some of her videos is almost overwhelming. xiao, meanwhile, is the polar opposite; he's quiet, reserved, and barely does collaborations. y/n is hanging onto genshin impact by the skin of her teeth with the collabs, while xiao can hold his own in terms of content. at least his is watchable and doesn't make me want to bang my head against the wall.

xiao deserves better, because even if he's mooning after y/n, she doesn't even bother giving him a second glance. she treats him the same way she treats everyone else, like objects - another reason why you shouldn't support her. xiao is probably pretending to like her, which is understandable considering how many views their collabs get. human fall flat, valorant, gartic phone with the entire third gen, it's all great business sense, really. people are suckers for the grumpy boy sunshine girl trope, and they know that and make the best use of it. it's just a ploy to get more money from you, both from ads and superchat donations.

overall, xiao and y/n suck together, mainly because of how their relationship is obviously being faked for views. however, it seems like xiao might actually be catching feelings, which is also horrible because he deserves someone more caring and loving than the playful and childish y/n. especially after his backstory, that boy must have severe trust issues, so it's better for him to be saved from this before things get messed up and he ends up heartbroken.

that's it from me, scaramouche, hope you enjoyed the video!

twitter !

groupchat !

phone call !

outgoing call to y/n at 6.14 p.m.

xiao: y/n, are you with hu tao and yanfei now? are you safe?

y/n: hi xiao... yeah i'm with them at the mall. i'm waiting for them outside wanwen bookhouse, and then we're going to xinyue kiosk for dinner before heading home.

xiao: thank the archons, i was so scared for you. i was seriously contemplating driving out to help you somehow but i had no clue how. i was worried my presence might... exacerbate the situation.

y/n: aw xiao, thanks for being so caring. it's fine though, i'm still in one piece!

xiao: but that's the problem, y/n. it isn't fine.

y/n: what are you talking about?

xiao: it isn't fine that you were threatened with a knife outside a grocery store! by one of my fans, which makes it worse!

y/n: xiao, i told you it's okay. things like this happen when you're famous.

xiao: that doesn't make it right and you know it. this wouldn't even have happened if i didn't interact with you.

y/n: xiao, you can't blame yourself for your fans' actions. you don't control them, they're functional humans who make their own choices.

xiao: either way, the fact remains that you nearly got hurt because of me.

y/n: how is it because of you?!

xiao: my fans got jealous because i've been spending so much time with you, so they nearly attacked you! the blame can't fall on anyone else for that besides me.

y/n: and what about the fan? isn't it their fault?

xiao: yes, obviously it is. but we don't know who it is and i doubt we ever will. as an influencer, this is exactly why i'm supposed to stay away from problems like these.

y/n: problems like these? and what do you mean by that, xiao?

xiao: this entire thing between us!

y/n: you're saying all the time we spent together was just 'a problem' to you?

xiao: no! i mean- yes, but not in that way.

y/n: in what other way could that mean, xiao?

xiao: i mean that i enjoyed hanging out with you! i like you, y/n. a lot more than i should considering our jobs.

y/n: well i like you too, xiao! so who cares about that?! our fans, the good ones at least, will be over the moon if we become official.

xiao: and what about the bad ones? whatever happened today to you could happen ten times worse and next time you might not be so lucky.

y/n: that's a risk i'm willing to take.

xiao: i don't want you to be at risk! i can't let it happen again.

y/n: let what happen again?

xiao: nothing. look, y/n, i'm really sorry, but we've got to end this.

y/n: xiao, come on-

xiao: no. i need you to be safe and okay, even if that means distancing myself from you. i can't lose another person i care about.

y/n: by doing this, you're already losing me. please, xiao, just try to-

xiao: i'm sorry, y/n. it's for the best. i'm cancelling the collab we were supposed to have next week, and i'm not going to be interacting with you on social media or real life. at least not until this entire mess is sorted out, i can't endanger you further.

y/n: we can make this work, xiao, please.

xiao: goodbye, y/n.

call cut at 6.37 p.m.

twitter !

a/n; scaramouche is so fun to write for gn JKDAKWJDKJAS,,, also angst moment 😍HAHAHA i promised angst and here is the delivery, i hope u all enjoyed it! i, personally, am absolutely DEVASTATED over the end of xiaoyn 😞 but i'd love to hear yalls theories for what will happen next, especially since we've still got a ton of chapters left LOL ok anyways im too tired to write more for this a/n except im sorry for the long wait between chapters ! school is kicking my ass 😭 but ily all take care mwah !

taglist; @noirkkat @bookuya @ohmykazuha @glazelilyy @oreoz-unfortunately @tiny-aroace @xiaophobic @test-tube @jiinghe @storytravelled @mirikusashes @ben6ett @oliviasslut @bluexiao @lunachelly @aelatus @mimion @akiiyukii @angelhxneyy @give-xiao-almond-tofu @abyssheart @xuanya @normalisthenewnorm @viagiraffe @fuhuashandholder @astersg4rden @nachotrash @childe-support @cynokine @axerrri @ventirain @kait-is-always-late @hushyouu @celestair @rim0na @indecisivehusky @nurserinnn @ariesreii @saving-for-xiao @hellokittykuroo @auradragon199 @xiaoszn @liarchive @almondto-fu @berryqueue @chichikoi @yunaholics @yoimimi @http-mewchuu

general masterlist.

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way.

In Another Life [Jinguji Jakurai]

You don’t know what you did to end up on the receiving end of a knife.

You had been peacefully slumbering, your parents in the next room over having finally quieted down after an extended fight that you hoped would lead to a divorce. It was a bit dark to think such things but you were a teenager now, you were beginning to understand adult issues and you could tell that there was something hovering over them causing these outbursts. Perhaps separating wouldn’t be in their best interest but you were simply tired of the yelling, of the constant negativity, of the inability to exist in your own house without having to be stressed about when the next fight was coming.

You fell asleep thinking about them but your dreams had been far more pleasant, a technicolor daydream of another life, one where you were unapologetically happy.

And then you woke up to a knife to your throat.

Your eyes met your attackers briefly, a chill coursing through your veins at that complete lack of emotion in them. You were used to being surrounded by anger and hatred, but there was something foreign about this look. It’s like his eyes (you thought it was a man, a boy, but it was rather dark) were devoid of any emotion, telling you ‘this isn’t personal’; luckily you were feeling enough emotions for both of you but remained too afraid to move, frozen in place as you lock eyes with your attacker.

What were you feeling now? Acceptance? You wished you could say goodbye to your parents. Would this mystery man at least let you do that? There are a thousand thoughts running through your head but you notice as time ticks on that he’s unmoving, that he can’t seem to tear his eyes off of you. You almost want to ask if he’s okay despite how nonsensical it would be to do so flinching when he finally moved. The knife is no longer pressed to your throat and as he’s pulling away, a sliver of moonlight drifting in through your window reveals that his hands are shaking.

Was he as scared as you were?

Was he feeling regret?

You don’t get an answer, your vision blurring before you’re left alone in your room once more. You almost think that he was simply a hallucination before you feel something wet sliding down your neck, fingers coming up to curiously feel around the area, stained red with your blood. You sat up from your bed and ripped the covers off, running screaming down the hall for your mother as you suddenly realized something bad had almost happened. The rest of the night is filled with your screams, your tears, life as you knew it ending.

You didn’t think much of it now that you were an adult.

You had a fulfilling career, owning a club of your own in Shinjuku where you often hosted costume nights and other little celebrations to give people a respite from their boring day jobs. You loved greeting all types of customers, making long-lasting friendships that might benefit you in the long-run, working until the wee hours of the morning when you finally dragged yourself home (though there was a backroom at the club that you sometimes made a temporary place of rest as you got too exhausted to walk back to your apartment). Your life had been on a steady track for such a long time you didn’t think anything else could possibly upset it, after all, what could be more senselessly tragic then finding the dead bodies of your own parents?

You had run into their room that night and thankfully, the carnage had been mostly hidden by the dark but the scent of copper hitting your nose made you realize quickly what had happened. Had that same person who ominously loomed over you killed your parents first? Or had it simply been a job done by multiple people at once? You didn’t want to think too deeply about it, for the sake of your sanity you knew you couldn’t play detective, but for many people it left a pressing question in the back of their minds.

Why did it happen? Why were you left alive?

All you knew was that you were alive. You had lived through that night, being shown some odd sliver of mercy from that dark, emotionless figure, and you weren’t going to squander what you had been given. You would live your life, unquestioning, mourning your parents but doing your best to live a life that would make them proud.

You met him one cold December night, walking down the street with an unfortunate number of shopping backs in your arms. They weren’t difficult or too heavy for you to hold but you were looking forward to being home, hoping that you’d get there soon so you could decorate your home with the new decorations you’d had. You were deep in thought when you’re suddenly bumped into by a gaggle of squealing women, eyebrow raised as you hear them speaking of some type of rap battle going on. You had been curious about the upcoming DRB, of course everyone and their mother had been talking about Matenro in Shinjuku, but you found yourself too busy to look too far into it.

But there they were.

The blonde was the number one host in Shinjuku, you’d passed the billboards countless times, and the other one was the most exhausted looking office worker you had ever seen. At first their leader, the one with long flowing hair adorned in a doctor’s coat, had his faced turned in the opposite direction, politely greeting some fans that had the courage to approach them. His mannerisms made him seem polite enough but those women were swooning, leaving you curious as to what he looked like. He had to be a bombshell, right? No one acts like that for some average joe.

And then he turns toward you, his eyes drifting through the crowd until they meet yours.

You’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

They’re different for sure, they’re no longer blank but filled with an emotion that you’re not aware of. You are, however, aware of how hard this man is staring at you now and as confident as you are in your looks, you’re pretty sure he’s recognized you as well. For a second you have to wonder if this is the end of the line, if this man is about to actually take you out since you know some rather scandalous information about him, but then again how could you ever prove it? It takes all the will power in your body to tear your eyes away from him, pushing back into the crowd that had slowly started to form around Matenro until you’d managed to sneak into an alley.

Your night continues unimpeded, thankfully no man is standing by your bedside when you wake up the following afternoon; you’re almost a little disappointed as he looked far more beautiful after all these years, you certainly wouldn’t have minded getting a house call from him. The trauma you had gone through was really rearing its ugly head with your sense of humor but it was amusing in the end to see that your potential assassin had turned his life around into not only becoming a doctor, but also a famous rapper. You almost wished you had approached him just to see what he would say, what he would do, but that plan had officially been canceled as you suspected you wouldn’t see the man again for a very long time.

That night was when he came for his first visit to your club.  

You spot him sitting at the bar and he’s rather hard to miss, not to mention he’s so recognizable that you’d have to be blind not to realize who he was. Doing a quick internet search helped you refresh your memory on his name, Jinguji Jakurai, and there were quite a few articles about what a skilled doctor he had turned out to be (as well as his past experience being in a famous rap group which was often compared to the group he was part of now). Did his teammates know who he was? Did they know what he did? Or were they just as blissfully unaware?

“Did you come back to finish the job?”

You shoo away the bartender before speaking with Jakurai, knowing this is a conversation you’d like to deal with one on one. The club wasn’t technically open yet but he must’ve talked his way inside by flashing a handsome smile; you could only imagine all the things that smile of his could get him. You don’t get to see it as he doesn’t find your joke nearly as funny as you do, almost flinching as you bring up a past he likely wants to forget about. You have to deal with the reality of that past though and so does he, regardless of how you both personally feel about it. But you’re curious as to what this visit is about, ready to call for security at any given moment should things go south.

Jakurai takes a few moments to respond, taking a sip from his grapefruit juice (you noticed the lack of alcohol in his drink right away) before he responds.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” His hands remain wrapped around his glass, Jakurai casting a contemplative glass at its contents.

“That’s fair enough because I can say the exact same thing. But… Why are you here, exactly? Did you want a thank you for not killing me? Because like thanks and all, but you still got my parents so we’re not exactly even in my book.” Another wince of pain, but he takes your shot with grace, nodding his head as you continued on. “I’m glad to see life’s been treating you so well, Doc, but mines been a mess. So what is it that you want?”

“To apologize,” Jakurai stated firmly, eyes coming to meet yours. “For all the pain that I have caused you.”

“Your apology isn’t accepted.” He’s not at all surprised which sort of pisses you off, of course this assassin rapper man has it more together than you. There are long buried emotions beginning to bubble to the surface and you consider grabbing his glass to dump the contents all over him, Jakurai removing his hands from it as though he had read your mind. But as quickly as the anger bubbled up it simmered down, your heart still hammering in your chest as you tried to regain control of your emotions. “Can you at least tell me why? Did you… Were you the one who did it?”

“…I didn’t. I don’t believe that would make you feel any better about what happened but I… You were the first person who made me truly believe that I could no longer live the life I was living.” Jakurai’s voice softened, “You were like a light in the darkness, too bright to look at yet I couldn’t bring myself to look away. I wanted to thank you as well for all that you’ve done for me but it didn’t seem right to do it in the same breath.”

“You… I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to think of this. You’re thanking me? You didn’t kill my parents but you were definitely about to kill me but you… stopped because I was some light to you? Some person who made you realize killing other people was wrong? You know how that sounds, right?”

“There’s a lot in my life I wish to atone for.” Jakurai flashed that handsome smile that had gotten him into your club early, “I don’t expect your forgiveness but it wouldn’t feel right to be reunited with you without expressing my regrets.”

He stood from the bar and placed money on the counter, straightening himself out and brushing his hair from his shoulder as he prepared to leave. It felt wrong to leave it there, to allow him to exit your life once again as quickly as he had entered it, especially when you felt you were still owed something. You reached across the bar to grab at his sleeve, tugging on it and watching as Jakurai turned around with a surprised expression on his face.

“Just.. come perform here or somethin’, okay? Get me some business and maybe I’ll start to think about forgiving you. Maybe.”

Jakurai smiled but this time it was more amused in nature, as if he didn’t expect something like that from you.

“As you wish.”

And your wishes were fulfilled.

You met Hifumi and Doppo through Jakurai, listening to them both speak highly of their leader and all that he had done for them. For all intents and purposes, it seemed he truly had turned over a new leaf, as far as they knew anyway. He hadn’t really given you any reason to doubt his change in character, even now when you look into his eyes you could tell something had changed within him, and Jakurai did uphold his promise to have Matenro perform. He even came back whenever the three of them weren’t busy, increasing publicity for the club further as now it was assumed you were good friends of the three rappers instead of just a one-off gig.

You could say that was very close to what was happening.

You were fond of Hifumi and Doppo, you always threw free drinks at poor Doppo who came in to complain about his boss and laughed at all of Hifumi’s stories that were at Doppo’s expense. Chatting with them had been much too fun for you to cut it short so you spent your nights at the club with them at their VIP table, Jakurai quietly watching the interactions between the three of you with a content expression on his face. You didn’t know how happy it made him to see the three important people in his life getting along well, you probably hadn’t even guessed how important you truly were to him just yet.

“I still see you as that light,” Jakurai confessed one night after the club had closed, not a hint of shame on his face, “However, now that I’ve gotten to know you… You’ve become so much more to me. It feels out of line to say such things after all I’ve done…”

“Yeah, it sure does.” You feel a little awkward now because you felt the exact same way, completely fascinated by this man, enamored with him like a lot of the women in his life seemed to be. Yet you were the one who got to be close to him like this, who got to sit face-to-face alone with him while he wasn’t on the job, and that had to count for something. “But you… You mean a lot more to me now, too.”

This is the first time you’ve ever seen a look of genuine surprise on his face but you quite liked the way his eyes raised and the corner of his mouth twitched, not sure if he should smile or frown at your statement. He let out a sigh but he it was out of relief more than anything, knowing he didn’t deserve even that out of you after what he had done. To find love with the one target he couldn’t kill… How many sleepless nights had he spent thinking of you, worrying over what might have become of you?

“This is like, kinda fucked up, you know? Like what type of weird way to meet is ‘I almost killed you but realized I couldn’t and now we’re in love’? Like seriously, there’s gotta be like ten trashy, poorly written romance novels about-“

You continued to ramble on nervously, knowing this hardly made sense but at the same time who cared? This was your life after all, and if you wanted a pretty doctor to kiss you to make you feel better, then you would get it! Past be damned, you were going to take this God given gift of a man and use him for all he was worth.

Jakurai’s fingers gently touch your face, running along your jaw towards the small scar, the scar he had made, before he suddenly shied away. But you don’t want him to leave, you crave his touch now, putting his hand right back where it was and looking up at him with pure determination. There were heavy sins weighing him down, resting on his shoulders, but he had only been a child himself, something that made forgiving him a little easier to swallow. You believed him when he said he hadn’t been the one to kill your parents and you believed him when he said he was remorseful for the lasting impact he had on your life.

“Jakurai, I’ve come up with a way to forgive you.”

“Is that right?” Jakurai’s smiling his beautiful ethereal smile that always causes your heart to skip a beat, “How might I be of service?”

“Kiss me.”

“I have a lifetime of mistakes to make up for,” Jakurai whispered against your lips, hands cradling your face in a loving manner, “I don’t deserve you.”

“You say that yet…” You reached over to run your fingers through his silky hair, twirling a strand of it around your finger, “I can’t account for your other mistakes but that doesn’t matter to me now. You’ve changed for the better, you save lives every day, so as long as you keep doing that… I think that I… I forgive you, Jakurai. So please, accept my heart and protect it.”

Those words he never thought he would hear finally reach his ears and he’s so filled with joy he could hardly contain himself, brief tears gathering at the corner of his eyes before he leans in to press his lips against yours. You want to pull away, to tease that he had only kissed you now because he was trying to hide the overflowing emotions he was currently dealing with, but it felt far too good to leave Jakurai’s embrace now.

If you could help it, you’d never have to live without his embrace again.

What I Thought About the First Season of--

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I first saw the sneak peek of--

...I...didn't...think it would be anything all that special. I love animation, and I love superheroes, so it would go without saying that I would love an animated series about superheroes. But the animation looked a little too stiff for my liking, and aside from featuring J.K. Simmons, there wasn't anything grabbing me when it comes to this show.

Then I heard some s**t goes down at the end of episode one. So, letting my curiosity get the better of me, I binged the entire series in a day to see what the fuss was about. And, um...Yeah. Holy s**t.

This is a series that will very much make you uncomfortable in all the right ways. However, it is a gigantic gorefest at times, so if you get queasy after a single drop of blood, DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Trust me, you will not be prepared for what this series has to offer.

At the same time, I highly recommend you watch this series before reading this review. I'm going to spoil major plot points and characters so I can appropriately discuss what I think about the season, so trust me when I say you should click away if you haven't watched it yet. It's one of those series that are better to go in as blind as possible. You can call it a cheap way to appeal to shock value, but I call it one of the best reasons why--

...Is a contender for best-animated series of the decade--That bit with the title card isn't going away anytime soon, is it?

WHAT I LIKE

The Guardians of the Globe vs. The Mauler Twins: This is the best possible way for the series to begin. The first fight scene is bright, colorful, and kinda fun. Thus setting the ultimate expectation subversion in making audiences think that will be the series staple. However, just because it has the energy of a harmless superhero fight, there is a sense of intensity as the Guardians give their all in saving others. Like that moment with Darkwing (Not the duck) as he rescues that woman without hesitation, despite knowing he might die because of it. Or Green Ghost, who just barely rescues all those civilians from that falling debris. It shows that you don't need intense scenes of violence to make a fight scene thrilling to watch.

Diversity Wins: I don't know how diverse the comics are compared to the show, but I'm impressed with how inclusive this series is. So many members of the main cast are people of color, with the main lead being half-Korean. And it's not just different races that the series shines a light on, as we also get the rare, but very much welcomed, animated male gay character. Who's thankfully isn't cliched in ten ways to Sunday...for the most part. It really does seem like writers are starting to grow up and that it's better to be as inclusive as possible instead of pretending certain people don't exist for the sake of "convenience." It might not solve oppression in general, but it certainly makes certain people feel better, even if it is briefly.

Mark Grayson: Mark is a pretty solid super-protagonist if you ask me. Sure, at first, he comes across as whiney...and even more so in later episodes, but he's really an endearing character at times. Mark nails the role of the relatable everyman that's also inspirational with his determination since he never gives up until beaten to the inch of his life. Seriously, while he might not entirely be--

...I guess that bit with the title card really isn't going away.

Anyways, while he might not entirely be invulnerable in the literal sense, he is very much so in the figurative sense. Mark, in so many ways, refuses to call quits once he finally gets the hang of being a superhero, which is what makes him so inspirational. Plus, it's funny seeing how much of a rookie he can be to the gig at times. Mark is far from a perfect lead but is still charming to a fault, and it's nice seeing him grow more heroic each episode. I hope to see him develop more in future seasons, as he has the potential to be ranked higher up as one of my favorite superheroes (it's hard to compete with Spider-Man and Batman, but he'll make me consider it).

Debbie Grayson: This is almost what I expect a mother and wife of superheroes would be. 

Your son is constantly crash landing in your yard? Tell him to knock it off because he's past his curfew. 

Your husband disappeared into another dimension to fight off invaders? Shrug it off and expect that he'll be late for dinner.

It's a ton of fun to watch, and I adore how supportive she is of Mark, despite how much danger he could be in as a superhero. But, what really endears me with Debbie is her complicated feelings with Omni-Man. There's not a doubt in my mind that she loved him with her whole heart, but she also isn't an idiot. She is quick to pick up how unheroic her husband can be at times, often scolding him for it when necessary. And when she finally starts investigating if he really did kill the Guardians, I love that she instantly comes up with every single plausible excuse she can, despite knowing the truth. Because she believes that she knows who Omni-Man is and refuses any possibility that he might be a supervillain. So when she finds out that there really is no other explanation and hearing him call her a pet (big ouch when that happened), you wanna know what she does? She cries. Not because the man she loved is gone forever, but because the idea of him is. And it's that level of emotional devastation that comes from those complicated emotions that make me think Debbie Grayson is the most complex and endearing character on the show. And I. Will. Stand by that.

Seeing the Guardians of the Globe on their down time: Wow, what a cute collection of scenes that are charming as much as they are heartwarming! A set of scenes that show how human these characters are with their close relationships with friends and family! I sure hope it's not followed up with a brutal emotional gut-punch of a scene that will be even more devastating after thinking back on these! Especially with that bit with Martian Man and the little girl, cause OOO-WEE, would THAT tear me up inside!

Omni Man destroying the Guardians of the Globe:...I'd follow through on my joke here, but holy s**t.

That's really the best way I can describe all of this. It is a brutal, I repeat, BRUTAL scene that will stick with you hours after watching it. Not only that, but it's one of the few instances when I was damn near speechless because I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Holy s**t." The only time another superhero property did that was Avengers: Infinity War, except with that, the only difference is that the characters come back. Here, except for The Immortal, the Guardians stay dead! There's no magic amulet or alternate versions from another dimension. No, they die and never come back. Thus setting up how serious the show can be. Because if these superheroes can stay dead, then so can others.

Plus, what makes it more impactful is how throughout the entire fight, there was a glimpse of hope that the Guardians can beat Omni-Man. I heard he got nerfed for the sake of drama, and I approve of that decision. Because if he was really--

...If he was really unbeatable, then the fight doesn't have weight to it. There wouldn't be a point in rooting for these characters to win when we already know they're going to lose. But, by showing there's a chance that they could win, it becomes all the more intense watching the fight and even more tragic seeing them lose. It is a masterpiece of a battle that proves once and for all: Batman is right. You need contingency plans.

Omni Man: J. Jonah Jameson has become the one thing he hates the most: A masked MENACE...Ok, I know Omni-Man doesn't wear a mask, so the joke doesn't work as well as it could. But it was served to me on a silver platter, damn it! I had to take it!

In all seriousness, though, Omni-Man might give Homelander a run for his money on best evil Superman. Because while Homelander might be terrifying in his own right with his style of evil, Omni-Man takes it a step up a notch with the mystery behind WHY he killed the Guardians of the Globe. We know right away that there's something off with him, but up until that point, we see multiple instances of Omni-Man doing the right thing rather than the wrong. Sure, he might come off as cold when interacting with people, but so does Batman and other great superheroes in comics. That doesn't mean he's evil. So when he does do something so incredibly heinous, we're left with this mystery as to why. Because there has to be a reason for it all, right? Like, maybe mind control or his family was threatened. Something and anything that means he was forced into killing the noblest of people. So when it turns out that his actions were intentional, it is already pretty devastating. But when we find out why he does these things, it paints how truly evil Omni-Man is, given how little respect he has for human life.

Plus, as terrifying as Homelander is, Omni-Man is ten times more of an engaging villain. With Homelander, what you see is what you get: A narcissist with a god complex. For Omni-Man, it's more or less the same thing, but it's something fed to him because of the conditioning from his planet. There is a tiny, molecule-sized part of him that genuinely cares about others. It doesn't change what he does, nor does it mean he deserves forgiveness (far from it), but it hints that maybe he's not evil because of his own ego. It's because of how he's trained to be. And judging by his pained expressions from Mark's words and the single tear he sheds when leaving everything behind, there's a chance that he might be willing to fight back that mentality.

Or he will stay evil, and that he'll return to do worse things in the future. I don't know. I haven't read the comics. But I feel like I don't need to read anything to tell you all that Omni-Man is up there as one of the most intriguing comic book villains of all time, and I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

This show is f**king Violent: I mean, I refer you back to that scene where Omni-Man destroys the Guardians of the Globe. But, unlike other shows that use violence to force that mature rating, I feel as though In--

...Title card. You were cute the first time, but now your novelty has quickly worn thin.

Anyways, I feel as though this show...uses gore more appropriately. More often than not, death and carnage get treated as a literal joke in adult cartoons because people are sick bastards, I guess. But with...the current series I'm talking about, it all has an impact. No one dies or gets mangled for the sake of shock value or for a laugh. Instead, every instance of this type of violence is to either make a point, set the tone, or prove just how dangerous a specific character is. It makes...the series more mature than most adult cartoons you'll find because it actually brings a worthy discussion for its violence rather than milking it to give the illusion of maturity. And I gotta respect the writers for doing that.

Cecil: This man is basically Nick Fury if he was overpowered but in a good way. There is just something about a man who knows superheroes are needed in the world but also trusts a "hero" like Omni-Man as far as he can throw him. Not only does Cecil have contingency plans for his contingency plans, but the guy also knows to send the right heroes out for the exact missions that require them. Plus, a man is an instant badass when he's stone-faced about a demon saying he'll go somewhere worse than hell and is calm when being face-to-face with an angry Omni-Man.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The title card gets bloodier with each episode: This is just a really cool gimmick. It proves how intense this show can really be and how the stakes get higher and higher with each installment. Also, I like to think the amount of blood that splashes over the title card reflects how brutal the episode will be, especially with episode eight, 'cause holy hell.

The plot structure: The way the story works is very similar to how a comic book series handles its overarching narrative. Even though the writers begin a new arc that continues for a handful of issues, the overall main plot still develops in the background of the current adventure the hero goes through. That's basically how--

>Intense inhale<

>Calm exhale<

That's basically how THIS SHOW operates. Each episode can be seen as its own story that's given a ton of room to develop with its forty-five-minute runtime (which blew my f**king mind when I started binging it). Despite that, there's still a great sense of continuity. Everything involving Omni-Man and the mystery behind his murder of the Guardians gets fleshed out throughout the season, even when it takes the background of Mark's escapades. It really does feel like sitting down and taking the time to read an entire volume of comics, which I like to believe is the intention. After all, what's the point of making a series about superheroes if you don't make it feel like a comic book at least once?

Dark Blood: I desire a series based on this character alone. I know it's probably just Hellboy, but I want it. 

The idea of a demon solving murder crimes to work off his debt in Hell is too much of a remarkable concept to strictly be a c-plot in one series. Give Dark Blood a spin-off, damn it!

The Realistic Portrayal of a Superhero world: Unlike certain superhero properties--*cough* DC *cough*--it's--

>Huff<

>Puff<

>HUFF<

>PUFF<

>HUFF<

It's. This. F**KING. SHOW! That really does an excellent job at portraying how much it would suck to live in a world of superheroes. Sure, you got the cool battles and awe-inspiring heroes with incredible powers, but do you know what else you get? Hundreds upon thousands of people dying from the very threats those heroes fight against. Not to mention all the realistic physics that come from people like Mark trying to save others. Just look at how mangled that old woman looked when he attempted to help her. It, uh...It sure did not look great. Don't get me wrong, I love superheroes and the worlds they live in. But when watching a show like...this one, it really makes me appreciate how I don't live in those worlds with them.

It’s Still Funny: This is something I appreciate the most. When most superhero shows go for the realistic approach, they go with the doom and gloom route, making everything so melodramatic about how serious the world is. But here's the thing: Superheroes are f**king stupid.

Don't tell me they're not because they are. Superheroes have cornball hero names, bright costumes, and logos on their foreheads, chests, belts, and what-have-you. Taking a superhero too seriously is the worst mistake you could make, which is why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Say what you want about Marvel having "too many jokes," but at least they know it's for the best to laugh at themselves and embrace the weirdness. It's something similar with...you know what. Because while the series tells a serious and realistic story about superheroes, it's still a story about superheroes. So it tells some jokes and some pretty funny ones at that. Because while it's essential to include some drama in a story such as the one in...you know what, it's just as important to never forget to have some fun.

“Earth is not yours to conquer.”: Such a great line that gains an even greater meaning once we fully know who Omni-Man is. The main creditor for how effective it is goes to J.K. Simmons for making the line sound explicit yet implicit at the same time.

Allen the Alien: ...It is an absolute crime that this character only has about six minutes of screentime. Allen is such a bro, partially because of Seth Rogan's performance, that I would honestly be upset if he doesn't show up more often in later seasons. Seriously, bring him back for more.

The Mauler Twins: Thankfully, these characters get as much attention as they deserve. The banter between the Mauler Twins is always entertaining, often being the comedic highlights at times. On top of being funny, they also work as efficient villains who can come across as threatening at times.

But what I love most of all about these two is the explanation behind the cloning process. The reasoning of why neither character remembers which one is the cone is a brilliant idea that I'm surprised no one else did in the past (to my knowledge). It also provides some excellent fruit for thought in wondering if it really is better to live your life not knowing if you're a clone or not. The whole thing is great to watch, and it makes me really glad for their inclusion...too bad they had to be forced into a story that makes a character look like a reckless superhero and an inconsiderate jackass to his friend. Seriously, what was up with that?

“That Actually Hurt”: This just might be my favorite episode of the first season. Machine Head is both equally hilarious and devious, Titan might just be my favorite character due to how intriguing his allegiances and motivations are, that final fight was the perfect amount of brutal, and we get the biggest hint of the man Omni-Man really is. Having him simply watching Mark instead of flying in to help him actually shocked me the first time seeing it. It's not until we learn what a Viltrumite really is that it becomes clear as to why. He doesn't care about saving his son but instead seeing Mark reach the same potential Omni-Man did during that smash fest the planet went through to reach perfection. And something tells me he felt more disappointment than sadness after seeing his son get nearly killed by Tony the Tiger (I know he has an actual name...but this is funnier to me). It's such a solid moment with great implications that just so happens to exist in an even greater episode.

Eve deciding to just help people for the heck of it: I actually love this idea more for the potential it has rather than what actually happens so far. Because the main reason why heroes don't fly around and solve every little minute problem people have is that they need to learn how to act without help. If you suddenly make food appear out of thin air or stopping forest fires, you're doing good, but there's also potential harm that comes from it. I think back to that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where the townspeople are so idiotic and complacent with having their heroes solve every problem that they really can't think or act for themselves. A similar thing can happen with Eve if she's not careful. Even worse, if she keeps trying to end famine for farmers, because she might get into a Supergirl situation with people building a cult around her. And, you know, that's not going to be fun.

But again, that's just the potential that this presents. We--Or the people who haven't read the comics--don't know if Eve will actually face this issue. Regardless, we still get some solid moments that proves just how much Eve is a true hero in this series as she has no other motive to help people other than she just wants to. And I actually think that's pretty cool.

The Immortal’s rematch: I gotta hand it to the guy. Not a second after being brought back to life, and The Immortal's already flying off to get revenge on the bastard who killed his closest friends in the world. Or, globe, I guess.

I respect that, to be honest.

(As a bonus, The Immortal causing Omni-Man's eyes to become bloodshot adds to how evil he'll be in the last episode)

Mark trying to snap his dad out of mind-control: Oh, I felt that.

I'm pretty sure we all felt that.

Ow...Big ow.

The Train Scene: ...This is the most horrific thing I have seen in entertainment. Seriously, while Omni-Man annihilating the Guardians left me speechless, this is another level. Because him using Mark's body to kill a train full of people ramming into them, leaving Mark all the more helpless to stop it, makes a scene that is so...so hard for me to describe how effectively f**ked up it is. It's one of those moments where just by seeing it, you know why it's awful in all the right ways. And I will never forget the look of shock and horror on my face when it reflected onto my laptop's screen after the scene briefly cut to black soon after the carnage. Because if that doesn't explain how unmerciful this moment is, I don't know what will.

Saving Mark after the fight: I really love this because as it flashes between still images of people carrying Mark away after his brutal fight with Omni-Man, it really feels like you're reading a comic from panel to panel. It’s pretty neat. I won’t lie.

WHAT I DISLIKE

The Animation isn’t that great: Now, in terms of action, the animation is fantastic. You feel the impact of each attack, there are some creative uses of powers, and the gore is better implemented because it's all animated. As for everything else...yeah, it kinda sucks. Movements are a little stiff at times, the CGI backgrounds could use a bit more polish, and don't get me started on the CGI crowds of people. I understand the shortcuts that need to be taken to make everything else more effective, but man, this series needed a little more time in the oven before being shown to everyone. It's never too bad, but it can be pretty distracting at times.

Amber: F**k Amber. Just f**k her. Everything people tell you that is wrong with her is one-hundred percent on point. She is easily one of the worst love interests, and to me, it has everything to do with the fact that she knows Mark is--

...That she knows Mark is--

...

...

...ThatsheknowsMarkisInvinci--

--BECAUSE IT INVALIDATES ANY POINT SHE HAS, GOSH DANGIT! I don't give a single S**T if she's upset that he's late all the time! If Amber was always unaware of it, then I would understand. But having her know means that she thinks her issues are more important than Mark, oh, I don't know, SAVING THE PLANET! I mean, the girl helps feed the homeless! You would think she would understand.

But fine. Maybe Amber's just upset that Mark's lying to her. Sure. That's understandable...BUT WHAT THE F**K IS UP WITH HER BLOWING UP IN HIS FACE FOR NOT HELPING ANYBODY AT THE COLLEGE WHEN SHE KNOWS HE'S HELPING EVERYBODY!? Even if it's her giving Mark one last chance to tell her the truth (which is a mile of a stretch, and you know it), did she really expect him to reveal his secret with tons of people watching? That is a crazy expectation that no one should live up to!

Amber is quite possibly the worst thing about this show. She was fine at first, and her chemistry with Mark was on point, but MAN, did she get worse later on.

And if I see one mother f**ker calling me a racist because I don't like this character who just so happens to be black...I'm going to be upset, not gonna lie. Because that is a cheap shot to dismiss any criticism, especially since her race has NOTHING to do with why people hate her...Or, at least, most people.

Edit (5/27/2021): Disregard the above. The long and short is that I don’t like Amber. She just doesn’t sit right with me for the reasons that her anger towards Mark just never felt entertaining to me in comparision to everything else. But saying her thoughts and arguements are invalid is not cool, and I’m sorry to both any readers who are black or especially female who would be upset by this.

Rex-splode: I understand the point behind Rex. He's a character who we're supposed to hate, so it becomes so much more satisfying seeing others s**t on him. But those characters are hard to get right if you’re not careful. Make them too irritating, then any suffering they go through will seem too little. Make them not annoying enough, and their punishments can be too harsh. Rex fits into the "too irritating" category. It's satisfying to see Monster Girl wreck his s**t after he started commenting how ineffective she might be, but with what he pulled with Dupli-Kate, I feel as though he might deserve worse. Although I will admit Rex gets slightly better in later episodes, showing at least a smidgen of character development. But I don't think it's enough to make his a**holeness worth it. Still, I hope he at least becomes above decent in the next few seasons, which is way more than what I can say for Amber.

(Seriously, writers, if she just disappears without an ounce of an explanation in the season premiere, I won't question it. You have my word.)

Edit: I no longer agree with what I crossed out, but I won’t delete it either. I want people to know the mistake I made so I can prove that I changed in the future.

Robot cloning himself to be with Monster Girl: ...Nope! 

Nope!

Changed my mind.

I am NOT touching that.

I will touch a lot of things, but I will not touch--That came out wrong.

Please forget you read anything.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Let’s move on

Transitioning to the title card: Here it is! The nitpickiest of all nitpicks! But, seeing how it happens in every episode, meaning that the writers have no choice but to commit to it, means it's one of those things that viewers are forced to get used to. And boy, is the transition to the title card hard to get used to! Oh, you thought it was annoying how it kept happening in this review? Well...fair enough. But trust me when I say it's much more aggravating in the show.

The funny thing is, I had no problem the first time it happened. It was a cute way to introduce the character as well as the title of the series. But having that be the basis for transitioning to the title card every time was a gimmick that got old real quick. Especially since every time that a character says the word--

--it always feels forced. What's even more annoying is that sometimes it interrupts characters as they're saying invin--

LIKE! F**KING! THAT! Because interrupting someone before they say something is one thing, but doing so as they're saying it shows a sense of bad timing. Not even that, because this is something that I feel like could have been the easiest to change in the series by having someone go, "Hey, maybe we should edit out this single second."

It's laziness that doesn't happen often, but it still grinds my gears a bit. Plus, is there really no other smoother transition the writers could come up with? Did they really believe this is the best way to do it?

Think, writers! THINK!

It's fine to have a gimmick, but this is one that really shouldn't have any follow-through on.

-------------

That's about all the issues I have with the show. It's far from perfect, but still, an A- is pretty impressive work. The stuff that this series does right not only outnumbers the mistakes but also heavily outweighs them. Besides, no show in the history of creativity has ever been perfect in its first season. There are always dents that need to get buffed out and improve upon for the subsequent seasons to come. Only then can a series truly be Invincible from all criticism.

...

...Oh, sure. 

SURE!

NOW it lets me say it!

GOSH, DANGIT, I HATE THAT TITLE CARD!

Lara Croft's Biography

This is my attempt at consolidating Core Design's two biographies for Lara Croft as well as Crystal Dynamics' revised version for Legend into one, cohesive background story that includes all key events from her past adventures. Certain elements of the first nine games and their backstories are bound to be included in the new, unified timeline so any Reboot fans that are not as familiar with Classic Lara may find this interesting to read :) Hope you like it!

Name: Lara Croft

Nationality: British

Date of Birth: 14 February 1968

Birthplace: Wimbledon, London

Marital Status: Single

Blood Group: AB-

Height: 1,75m

Weight: 58 kg

Hair Colour: Brunnette

Eye Colour: Brown

Distinguishing Features: 9mm Handguns

Bio

Lady Lara Croft is an 11th generation Countess. The Croft family was granted the title and rights to Abbingdon, Surrey by King Edward VI in 1547. The Croft Estates are comprised of three separate manor houses, two of which are maintained by the National Trust, and the third is home to Lady Croft.

Lady Croft herself has suffered several personal tragedies, including the deaths of both parents on separate occasions before she came of age. Reputably an accredited genius and Olympic-standard gymnast, Lady Croft is the focus of wild speculation and intense debate in both the scientific and political communities in addition to the popular press. Idealized and vilified in equal measure, she is perhaps one of the most fascinating and enigmatic figures of our time.

Lara Croft was born in Surrey's Parkside hospital on the 14th of February in 1968 to Lady Amelia Croft and the notorious archeologist Lord Richard Croft, the late Earl of Abbingdon. She was raised to be an aristocrat from birth, and had lived in luxury and security aloof from the world at large. Between the ages of three and six, she attended the Abbingdon Girls School, where it quickly became clear that she was an exceptionally gifted child.

At the age of nine she survived a plane crash in the Himalayas that took the life of her mother. In perhaps the first story of her prodigious indomitability, she somehow survived a solo ten-day trek across the Himalayan mountains, one of the most hostile environments on the planet. The story goes that when she arrived in Katmandu she went to the nearest bar and made a polite telephone call to her father asking if it would be convenient for him to come and pick her up.

For six years following the plane crash, Lara rarely left her father's side, traveling around the world from one archeological dig site to another. During this period she was ostensibly given a standard education from private tutors, but it would probably be more accurate to say she was her father's full time apprentice.

When Lara was fifteen, her father went missing in Cambodia. Extensive searches by the authorities and Lara herself turned up human remains that could not definitively be identified. Since Lord Croft's body was not officially recovered, Lara could not directly inherit the Croft title and Lara was thrust into a bitter family feud over control of the Abbingdon estates with her uncle Lord Errol Croft. Lara eventually won the legal battle, and took possession of her inheritance but at the cost of a deep rift in the Croft family that left her estranged from her living relatives.

At 16 she began studying at Gordonstoun, one of Britain's most prominent boarding schools where she discovered the mountains of Scotland. One day Lara came across a copy of National Geographic on the hall table. The front cover featured a familiar name - Professor Werner Von Croy. A respected archaeologist, Von Croy had once lectured at Lara's school to pupils & parents alike.

The experience had a profound effect on Lara, triggering a desire for travel to remote locations in search of adventure. In some ways Von Croy had become an inspirational figure for Lara. As Lara read further, she learned that Von Croy was currently preparing for an archaeological tour across Asia, culminating in a potential new discovery to be made in Cambodia. Unable to pass up this opportunity, she walked over to the desk & penned a letter to Von Croy. She Introduced herself and offered financial assistance in exchange for her place on the expedition. Von Croy's reply assured her that the territories were friendly and that he had ample experience to look after both his & Lara's well being.

Lara's company as an assistant would be welcome, as was the offer of such a generous cheque. He remembered Lara from his lecture - her incessant yet insightful questions had made quite an impression upon him. And so it was agreed that Lara would accompany Von Croy for the duration of the tour.

At 21, while in college, she was part of a team of aspiring archaeologists in charge of a dig in Paraiso, Peru. Her closest friends, Amanda Evert, aspiring anthropologist, and Anaya Imanu, engineer, among them. They were attempting to break through the tomb of the Queen of Tiwanaku. The expedition was cut short however, as a tragic accident led to the deaths of most of Lara's friends and colleagues, including Amanda, with Lara and Anaya emerging from the dig as the only two known survivors.

Lara probably should have died there, as most did, instead she learned how to depend on her wits to stay alive in hostile conditions a world away from her sheltered upbringing. Her experiences had had a profound effect on her and in that process transformed herself as well. Her Peruvian odyssey was both miraculous and enlightening, as the young woman not only survived, but gained a perspective on herself and the world that made her past appear shallow and naive. Out of the darkness of her ordeal, she saw her future reflected in a different light.

She felt profoundly that there was more for her in this life than the coddled existence that had become her numbing habit. Unable to stand the suffocating atmosphere of upper-class British society any longer, she realized that she was only truly alive when she was travelling alone. Over the eight following years she acquired an intimate knowledge of ancient civilizations across the globe. Despite this drastic life change, Lara still retains the essence of her upbringing - most notably with her polite, upper-class accent. She turned to writing to fund her trips.

While in England, Lara lives in a mansion in Surrey which she inherited many years ago. At one time she saw little use in it but now realises that, if nothing else, it is at least handy for storing all the artifacts she has acquired on her travels. She has also had a custom-built assault course constructed in the grounds for training purposes.

Lady Lara Croft has already eclipsed her father's career; as of this writing she is credited with the discovery of some fifteen archeological sites of international significance. These sites are still yielding new and exciting insights to the past on an ongoing basis. No one can deny Lady Croft's incredible contribution to the field of archeology, however she is not without her detractors.

Lara's methods have been frequently called into question by government officials and other practicing archeologists. She has been described variously as anything from cavalier to downright irresponsible. Some scholars have suggested that her notorious lack of documentation and brute force methodology have contaminated countless sites and done more harm than good. There have even been (unsubstantiated) allegations that Lara actually takes items from these sites before informing the international community of their locations, and that she is nothing more than a glorified treasure hunter.

Despite the tabloid press's infatuation with her, Lara Croft guards her privacy with complete determination. She has never granted an interview nor made any personal comment to any of the rumors associated with her, preferring to express herself through brief formal statements given by the family solicitors, Hardgraves and Moore.

Predictably there have been a number of unofficial biographies printed about the young Countess, that attribute wild and fantastic feats to her exploits, ranging from the discovery of living dinosaurs in the Congo to infiltrating the infamous Area 51 in Nevada. The official line from the Croft Estate to these works is simply that "...these books are utter rot: disgraceful, trashy works of total fiction."

Nevertheless if you even make a cursory search on the Internet for the Unexplained, the Mysterious and the Downright Unbelievable, time and again you will find Lara Croft's name appearing. She appears to be a hero to conspiracy theorists and alternate history aficionados alike.

It seems the further you dig into Lady Croft's life, the more bewildering and mysterious she becomes. Perhaps like the archeological sites she discovers, we have only scratched the surface of this incredible woman and the complex and inscrutable secrets buried deep within her.

Lara Croft became the seeker of truths, both large and small, and in that pursuit she continues to this day.

Employment

Lara doesn't consider tomb raiding as a job, merely a way of life - although she has been known to uncover archeological artifacts on commission. To fund her radical lifestyle, Lara writes travel books. Titles so far have included 'A Tyrannosaurus is Jawing at My Head' and 'Slaying Bigfoot'. Her common complaint though is that she doesn't have enough time to put pen to paper.

As well as uncovering many notorious archeological sites - including the Atlantean pyramid and the last resting place of the dagger of Xian, Lara has found fame in other areas - she has driven the dangerous Alaskan Highway from Tierra del Fuego in South America in record time (although this was later denounced by the Guinness Book of Records due to her "reckless driving") and she hit the headlines again when she hunted out and killed Bigfoot in North America.

Sports

Not much of a team player. Discovered rock climbing while at Gordonstoun and used to set off into the hills alone during netball practice. Also took up shooting as an extra-curricular activity but was instantly banned for showing "too keen an interest'. However, the strength that climbing gave her fingers was to become useful when she started pulling triggers for real.

Music

Lara was brought up to appreciate classical music but having been a guest on U2's Popmart tour, has since become a fan of their music. She has also been introduced to the sounds of Nine inch Nails by her Aunty and considers it "good easy listening". Finds trance music, in general, good for training.

Food

Despite being a proficient cook from her days at finishing school and having sampled most of the exotic delicacies of the world, Lara usually opts for beans on toast when at home.

Hobbies

Any challenging sports. Has a particular interest in experimenting with different, often extreme forms of transport. Has also once admitted to stitching a kind of Bayeaux tapestry of her own adventures while at home.

Ambition

With her unique physical abilities, Lara is certain of being able to break many world athletic records and so sees no challenge in this herself. Her main ambitions still lie in the undefined world of tombs and the past. She has also however, developed a personal regard for Brian Blessed's attempts to climb Everest. If he never succeeds, she is determined to piggy-back him up there.

Heroes

All the great ancient figures who respected themselves enough to design such intricate tombs to be buried in. "Nobody goes to trouble like that anymore..."

Fears

Her Aunty's Corgi which has bitten her on several occasions - about which, for once, there is little she can do.

Lucky Charm

Any gun at hand.

WHW Royals Edition 👑 Part 1: Anne, Queen of Great Britain

Born: February 6th, 1665 at St James's Palace, Westminster, Middlesex, England Died: August 1st, 1714 (age 49) at Kensington Palace, Middlesex Reign: March 8th, 1702 - August 1st, 1714

I thought I’d give you guys a little intro to Anne, Queen of Great Britain as a start for my series on weirdo royals. I got big into her after seeing the Yorgos Lanthimos film The Favourite (can’t recommend enough) and that resulted in endless hours of internet wormholes about her bizarre and interesting life. I’ve read about a lot of fucked up royals in my life (truly there’s many) but it was only when I was reading about Anne that I kind of had an ‘a-ha’ moment about how really drastically the monarchial system can fuck a person up. 

Queen Anne fits this bill for me for a lot of reason; she was a surprise Queen who was woefully underprepared for ruling, which led to people pushing their political agendas on her under the guise of genuine affection. It’s hard to know if the relationships that define her legacy and life in popular culture were genuine, or if they would’ve existed at all had she not been a royal. Her legacy is muddied by the traditional, patriarchal writers of history of course and it sometimes is hard to get a clear picture of who she really was, but here are a few tidbits about her life and rule:

Anne’s signature

1. Queen Anne was born Anne Stuart, daughter of James II and Anne Hyde and raised in the traditional way for aristocratic girls, with an education that emphasized on arts, language, and music. This eventually proved to suck dick for her big time later on in life when she became queen. Traditionally, girls were purposefully taught nothing useful about politics or history because it was assumed they would never rule (cough) and this left Anne very much lacking in the political discourse department as a monarch; all of her future speeches and even remarks made around political figures would have to be scripted by advisors. If she found herself off script and not knowing what to say, it’s said that she’d sometimes “move only her lips and make as if she said something when in truth no words were uttered.”

2. 8 year old Anne first met friend Sarah Jennings (Churchill) when she was a lady in waiting at just 5 years old. As you’ll see later on, Sarah goes on to be one of the (if not the most) influential person in the Queen’s life, becoming a trusted friend and political advisor.

3. Anne was what we would probably refer to today as a ‘hot mess express’. The poor gal had a myriad of health issues, both mentally and physically, all of which only got worse as she aged. She suffered from gout and an undefined auto-immune disorder (we think) as well as a bizarre eye-watering disorder and poor vision. It’s also pretty evident that she didn’t have the best relationship with alcohol or food and most likely developed a binge eating disorder later in her life (she was very large at the time of her death and there are a few accounts of her eating to the point of puking in front of other people).

4. Besides her relationships with Sarah and Abigail Masham, Queen Anne is also known mostly known for the tragic loss of her 17 pregnancies. Of all her births she had only 5 live babies, only one of which survived beyond infancy. Her son William was also afflicted with various illnesses all of his life and died at the age of 11.

Prince William, Anne’s longest surviving child

5. Anne became queen by accident, after her Catholic father was ousted as king by her protestant brother in-law. He and her sister ruled for a short time before dying of pneumonia and smallpox respectively with no heir in place, so Anne, who supported the protestant reformation, was crowned Queen.

6. Over the years Anne and Sarah Churchill became extremely close friends, and most accounts agree that Sarah had an incredible amount of influence over Anne’s political decisions. Sarah is said to have had a more natural affinity for politics, and to have had a completely opposite disposition than Anne. Some think that Sarah may have maintained the relationship only to keep her political control.

7. A lot of people that believe that Anne and Sarah were so close because they were lovers. The pair at one time wrote each other 4 letters a day, that included things like “I had rather live in a cottage with you than reign empress of the world without you,” “Oh come to me as soon as you can that I may cleave myself to you,” one of Queen Anne’s “I can’t go to bed without seeing you… If you knew in what condition you have made me, I am sure you would pity.” I don’t think I necessarily share that opinion, for reasons you’ll see below.

8. Sarah was the only person under Anne that was allowed to speak to her without using a title. The two often used their nicknames for each other: Mrs. Morley (Anne) and Mrs. Freeman (Sarah).

Sarah Churchill, 1702

9. A lot of scholars disagree with the notion that Anne had any gay affairs with anyone, including Sarah, for a few reasons; first because, at the time, it was just apparently normal to act hella gay with your friends, particularly for royals, so excessive touching or writing wouldn’t have raised any alarms. Most historians attribute this to the extreme separation of the sexes, particularly in upper class households. Most people spent 90% of their time exclusively with people of their own gender, so it was a means to have your emotional needs met within the confines of your station. If an aristocrat started ‘friend flirting’ with you, it was also seen as rude to not reciprocate. 

10. A few other reasons Anne was probably not lesbian: she had a pretty good relationship with her husband (Prince George of Denmark), and the 17 pregnancies thing suggests that they weren’t having any problems in the bedroom department. Also, when Anne later became close friends with Sarah’s cousin Abigail, Sarah became jealous and began to spread rumors that the two were gay lovers (more on that below). This rumor probably stuck and carried over into other areas of her life. Or maybe Anne was bi and both things were true, who knows.

Anne circa 1685. All physical descriptions of Anne, especially in her later years, don’t describe her in the most glowing terms, which is insane to think about when I see portraits like this.

11. Anne began to grow distant from Sarah after her husband’s death in 1708, which all sources agree flung the queen into a huge depression. She was said to have sat by and kissed his dead body long after his death. Sarah took a tough love approach to try and snap the queen out of it, which backfired. This was when Anne began to get close to Abigail Masham, which infuriated Sarah.

12. Sarah was so mad at Anne for this that she literally wrote a song about her and Abigail being gay together, printed it out on a pamphlet, and passed it around court Mean Girls-style. The pamphlet read: “When as Queen Anne of great renown / Great Britain’s sceptre swayed / Beside the Church she dearly loved / A dirty chambermaid O Abigail that was her name / She starched and stitched full well / But how she pierced this royal heart / No mortal man can tell However for sweet service done / And causes of great weight / Her royal mistress made her, Oh! / A minister of state Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.” 

13. Besides Sarah, a lot of people took Anne’s relative political ignorance as an invitation to push their own political agendas. It didn’t help that her reign coincided with a rapid development of a 2 party parliamentary system, as the gap between the protestant Whigs and the Catholic Tories began to widen.

14. One of Anne’s crowning political achievements was the 1707 Act of Union uniting England and Scotland under the banner of Great Britain (she had good ideas sometimes, although it’s hard to tell if they came from her or her many influential advisors). Consequently, she was the first ruler to ever rule over united Great Britain.

15. After a series of pretty horrible strokes, poor Anne died at the age of 49 in August of 1714 with no heirs and without reconciling with Sarah Churchill. To her credit, it’s said that despite her failing health she continued to attend cabinet meetings as often as possible until her death. She is buried beside her husband and children in the Henry VII Chapel on the South Aisle of Westminster Abbey.

I posted 1,139 times in 2021

315 posts created (28%)

824 posts reblogged (72%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.6 posts.

I added 475 tags in 2021

#incredible - 151 posts

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Longest Tag: 132 characters

#bc animated films need to stop going this guy we showed in two scenes is evil and have boastful wizards with songs as villains again

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Sisko: Gabriel Bell's sacrifice causes society to rethink everything...it's the moment that would create the Federation.

Trekverse Tucker Carlson, 2024: I have proof right here that Gabriel Bell once smoked weed. Is this your hero? A man in the throes of reefer madness, funded by the Soros Fund for Critical Race Theory? Next up, the anti-America crowd says provoking the Eastern Coalition may "start World War III and destroy nearly all life on Earth". Here's why they're wrong.

Sisko: ...they do get there.

166 notes • Posted 2021-09-12 00:33:46 GMT

#4

Newest Lower Decks made me realize, Voyager would probably be like. The Most Famous Ship among non-Starfleet people in the Trekverse, huh. After Kirk's Enterprise

Like everyone knows the new Enterprise, and who commands it, but it's implied most of their missions aren't made public. By comparison there'd probably be a whole industry of Delta Quadrant survival stories. Cheesy holoprograms. Breathless reports about every transmission from Voyager in deep space. Thinkpieces about how to handle the Maquis crew. A MANLY VOYAGER ADVENTURES magazine where the cover is always Tom Paris saving Kim from RAVENOUS SPACE WEASELS and BLOODTHIRSTY HIROGEN EELS. Conspiracy theories about how Starfleet MADE UP Voyager to DISTRACT us from them making up the Dominion since how could it come home with a full complement of shuttles??? Self-help books about the management style of Janeway and a Tuvix rights movement demanding she be tried in the Hague. A proper media circus

170 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 14:21:30 GMT

#3

Guys...I'm sorry to report that the next season of Star Trek will have POLITICS :'(...for the first time ever, Star Trek will do a time travel plot where a change to the past will prevent the future Federation from becoming a socialist utopia (but apolitical)...truly a tragic unprecedented day.....

233 notes • Posted 2021-09-15 14:32:12 GMT

#2

Memory Alpha removing the gender field from every character's page because a mod refuses to call Adira non-binary is the most impressive weird wiki guy outburst since the Silent Hill circumcision guy

455 notes • Posted 2021-01-09 14:34:33 GMT

#1

The thing about the "promise" of NFTs and crypto is that nearly everything they cite as a Unique Opportunity Only NFTs Could Create already exists

"People are procedurally generating loot and making up lore for it" is just blaseball with less mechanics; "you can own objects in this video game" is just TF2 hats but it hurts trees; "you can own things in VR" is just VRChat and Second Life minus the freedom & customization

"It'll create a decentralized web", except we had a decentralized web and you could still just start a forum or personal website or blog instead of acting like dividing the internet into yet more assets for rich people to horde will free it; "it'll be great for collaborative storytelling!" but it just demands fanfic writers abandon the freedom they now have in favor of exclusivity and, again, tree-hurting

The absolute peak of this is the number of people going on about how finally creators can own their work and profit off of it. At last! Someone discovered a way for authors tCOPYRIGHT. That's called copyright. And NFT people sure hate it when anyone not making NFTs enforces theirs, huh

Like every single thing people claim NFTs could allow already exists, and you can do it right now without NFTs, and with much more freedom, customization and individualism than NFTs allow, and without treating everything created by humanity as purely assets to own and sell

930 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 15:08:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

1: How come a neurotic and a patient of Bi-polar disease be an efficient member of the Agency? It just does not make any sense? 2: Why did Saul Berenson always agreed with Carrie Matheison? 3: How come she became a lover of Nick Brody when she had so many biological faults in her without any clue to her thoughts and inclination? 4: Why Dana Brody was given such a huge role which was literally unconnected with the real issue? Why the exist chris Brody in program?

5: Why the sex scenes (Brody and Jess) were shown in such graphical detail? 6: And why was Dana Brody not shown to have any remorse after the death of the pedestrian in the car accident, which was directly the result of her encouraging her driver, the son of the Vice President, to drive faster and which led to a tragic accident? 7: And why did Nick Brody’s wife, Jessica, forgave her husband for his misdemeanour outside the marriage for his affair with Carrie Mathison? Appreciate your comments.

1. Suspend your disbelief. Carrie was reasonably ok at hiding her illness for the first 10 years of her career. 

2. Because he loves her. Mandy Patinkin said that Saul believed they would (literally) save the world together. 

3. I don’t understand this question. She fell in love with Brody because she recognized the same brokenness in him that existed in her already. Plus some other reasons, like a future with him being literally unattainable, which is appealing to someone like Carrie who, at thought point, feared intimacy almost as much as being alone. 

4. Dana Brody was entirely connected to the “real issue” of seasons one, two, and three, and if you didn’t get that, you should watch again. Her storylines weren’t always great, but she was the core beating heart of Brody’s motivations. 

As for Chris, that’s a good question! Chris Brody serves no purpose on this television program, except for memes and Internet jokes. 

5. I think the purpose of showing those scenes in such graphic detail was to show how disconnected Brody felt from his wife -- he was unable to be truly intimate with her when he returned. These scenes take on greater meaning and context when you contrast them with how he was with Carrie, especially in “The Weekend.” 

6. You definitely need to watch again. She did have remorse. A lot of it! She went to the hospital to see the dying woman, and asked Mike to take her to her house so she could apologize. She forced Finn Walden to say something to their parents. 

7. Denial, denial, denial. On some level she might have felt guilty that she was sleeping with Mike when she thought Brody was dead.  

@starbucks-redcups Here is the “Toad in Tabletop Games I Like” post you requested! Also tagging @toadlingscentral and @brotherhoodofm and @awkward-snake-girl because Toad... @acaprioglino, you still like Toad? Okay, so I said I would pick a vampire clan or a werewolf/other wereanimal breed, or a DnD race class...but for Toad I am doing ALL of them because I immediately knew which I think he’d be for each. For a vampire, he is absolutely a Nosferatu. In the “Vampire: The Masquerade” setting, each clan of vampires has a curse, a weakness. For the Brujah, they enter Frenzy (a state of uncontrollable bloodthirsty rage) twice as easily as other clans. For the Lasombra, they do not appear in mirrors or photography, a fitting punishment for their pride, and more of a problem than it used to be in this modern age of cameras everywhere. For the Toreador, their same of beauty that makes them artists can also hypnotize them, making them stand still staring enraptured at whatever has captured their aesthetic appreciation...a big problem if the sun comes up or someone is attacking them. And Nosferatu....the poor Nosferatu are all so hideously deformed that they cannot ever mingle with humans, they must remain hidden so as to preserve the Masquerade (the system that keeps humans from knowing vampires exist and walk among them)  No matter what a Nosferatu looked like before their Embrace (becoming a vampire) they become horrible in death, often unrecognizable as their former selves. Many look like Count Orlok in the movie that bears their clan name, but many others have a more “individual” appearence---all of them, however, are too hideous to ever pass as human, and even the other clans look at them with revulsion (especially the beauty-obsessed Toreador) So, like Toad, they’re outcasts for their appearance, both from humanity and often looked down on by other vampires, just like Toad is rejected both by humans and often by other mutants. Yet, just as Toad has been a valuable underling to Magneto, so too are the Nosferatu very valuable to other vampires. The fact that they have had to learn how to stay hidden has made them masters at going undetected (having the power of Obfuscate helps---it can make you invisible or ignored!) and have become spymasters and intel-gatherers without peer! When you need info, you go to the Nosferatu, and they always have it---for a price.  Toad isn’t really an information-peddler at all in canon, but he is very tech-savvy, and that’s where I think he works as a Nos. In the digital age, Nosferatu have kept up very well with using computers and the internet, and some have become truly extraordinary hackers. Toad’s more of a machinery/inventor guy, but I could see Nos!Toad taking the Internet spymaster route instead. I could also see him using his inventing talents to make modern solutions to vampire problems---helping preserve the Masquerade, dealing with hunters, etc---and earning his value to other vampires that way. Nosferatus also have the power of Animalism, letting them control critters. A lot of them seem to prefer rats, but Toad can sometimes control or communicate with amphibians in canon depending who is writing, so I imagine Nos!Toad has a bunch of little frog and toad buddies that act as his eyes, ears, and living security systems.  Finally, Nosferatu are super strong, posessing the power of Potence, and while Toad’s never been a real brawler, his kicks can definitely kill a man! Toad’s werewolf tribe would be a Bone Gnawer. Bone Gnawers are the “mutts” of werewolf society, the outcasts, the poor, the downtrodden, the ill-bred. Their human forms are often homeless bums or filthy runaways, their wolf forms look more like scrawny junkyard dogs, and other tribes look down on them, especially the aristocratic Silver Fangs. They get no respect and have to earn every scrap they get, but they’re innovative and clever since they have to rely on what little they have, and they’re tough as nails despite not being as big and strong as the other tribes. They’re tragic figures, but also smart, scrappy underdogs, just like Toad.  Toad would also be a metis. See, a peculiarity of the wereanimals in “Werewolf: The Apocalpyse” is that they can’t mate with each other, they must mate with humans or animals in order to reproduce. If two werewolves mate, their offpsring will be sterile and deformed, and this is called a metis. As a note, the term “metis” is also unfortunately the name of a real-world Indigenuous Canadian ethnic group, and while I hope there is no connection (the werewolves use a lot of their own unique language that was invented for the game---crinos, ahroun, theurge, etc.---) this game company (White Wolf) has done shitty racist things before, so like...it’s a possibility. But like, regardless of what the NAME for such a creature is, that’s what Toad would be.  Anyway, MOST werewolf tribes shun the metis, and it’s against their laws for Garou (werewolves) to mate with each other for the exact reason that it produces metis. A metis has to earn their place normally, and a lot of them spend their whole lives trying to do that. But the Bone Gnawers are different. They not only embrace their own metis, but they will adopt the metis from other tribes as their own, not blaming them for the sins of their parents or being what they are. But other tribes will still be nasty towards them. So, Toad has a place among his own people, but will still face persecution from others, which I think fits. Many metis and Bone Gnawers both often become angry and bitter because they’re fighting for the same righteous cause as other Garou (just as the Brotherhood wants to protect mutantkind, the werewolves want to protect Gaia) but get treated like dogshit, which I think also fits Toad. They keep fighting the good fight, but they’re often snarky and distrustful of others because they always expect to get kicked once they’re not useful. For a werebeast, I think he’d be a Ratkin. The Ratkin are wererats, and they’re my FAVES. Not just because I love rats, but because they’re honestly SO MUCH FUN. It’s kind of hard for me to describe if you’re not familiar with the setting, but in a world where a lot of the other creatures are all very formal and serious, the Ratkin are like...honestly, I could read their entire breedbook with Toad’s voice from the X-Men Evo cartoon and it would sound PERFECT; one of the rats in it talks about how a Stargazer tribe werewolf tried to impress him with a haiku about cherry blossosm, so the Ratkin recited half a limerick then hit the wolf on the nose with a stick and ran away. I love it, I love them.  Like the Bone Gnawers (the only werewolf tribe they get along with) they’re scrappers and survivors who live on the fringes of society, using their brains to fight for a good cause even if they’re not as big and tough as others, and even if those others don’t appreciate them.  There are different “Aspects” of Ratkin, basically different castes, and Toad would ABSOLUTELY be an engineer. Engineers use their shocking intelligence to salvage and devise ingenious devices from rubble and garbage to fight against the Wyrm and its servants (the Wyrm is like...the big bad evil spirit that all the wereanimals are fighting to save Gaia from, basically) Metis are a thing with wererats too, but the rats treat them equal, unlike werewolves. I would still have Toad be one, though, to keep his odd appearance; his rat form would probably be hairless, poor guy, and he’d probably have an unpleasant smell. As a note, Ratkin HATE humans, but the Ratkin metis will often have sympathy for humans who are downtrodden and outcast by other humans (which can make their fellow rats sneer at them)  Finally, for DnD, his class would be either a Rogue or an Artificer. A Rogue is one of the original classic DnD classes, they’re sneaky cunning thief-types who live by their wits and rely on skills and stealth and cunning and trickery instead of brute force. They pick locks and pick pockets, and I think they’d be a great fit for X-men Evolution Toad specifically. They can be very acrobatic, and are great at avoiding danger, which also fits for Toad’s leaping abilities and how he can be cowardly ( speaking of that, the Ratkin, while ultimately willing to die for Gaia if they must, would definitely always prefer to live another day if they can, rather than die a noble death if they don’t have to) So you could totally go with Toad as a Rogue, someone who has been cast out by society and thus has become a thief and a scoundrel to survive. But the Artificer, a new class, works even better when you consider Toad’s mechanical genius. Artificers, like the Ratkin Engineers, merge science with the supernatural. They’re inventors extraordinaire who unlock the magic in everyday objects, and channel arcane power with tools and tinkering! For his race, either a Grung or a Kobold. The Grung are little frog-people. They’re agile, they’re amphibious, they jump really good, and their skin secretes a substance that is harmless to them but poisonous to other creatures. By using a small amount of this poison, they can mentally enslave other creatures, and depending on the writer (Toad’s powers fluctuate around a lot due to his unstable genetic structure, as I’m sure you know)  Toad can also secrete chemicals from his tongue and fingertips that allow him to influence, manipulate, and control the minds of others to a limited extent, so there’s that similarity. Different colored grungs have different castes/roles in their society, and I think Toad would be a green or blue.  Green grungs are the tribe's warriors, hunters, and laborers, and blue grungs work as artisans and in other domestic roles. Green because, even though he’s not the bravest, he is often used as a grunt or canon fodder in fights by the Brotherhood, and blue because “artisan” could also cover being an inventor. Kobolds are little lizard-people who often serve dragons as the dragon’s minions (and Toad is usually in the minion role) and are noted for their skill at building traps and preparing ambushes, which I think Toad’s engineering skills would make him good at, plus I think he’d far prefer trapping an enemy than having to fight them. Like Toad, Kobolds are often dismissed as cowardly, foolish, and weak by others, but actually they’re clever and can be quite aggressive, as is the case with Toad too.  I hope you enjoyed this and that at least some of it was accurate/fitting!