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keikotwins · 3 months

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Mokumokuren

Birds of different feathers flock together

Noticed online by head-hunting publishers, Mokumokuren hasn’t waited very long before polarising the attention of Japanese readers. With strange The Summer Hikaru Died, horrific bromance dealing with body dispossession, the mangaka signs a series of sophisticated oddity, that sets itself apart from the predictability of current fantasy productions.

Interview by Fausto Fasulo. Original translation: Aurélien Estager. English translation: “Keikotwins”. Bibliography: Marius Chapuis. Thanks: Camille Hospital & Clarisse Langlet (Pika), Yuta Nabatame, Mayuko Yamamoto & Mana Kukimoto (Kadokawa), Chiho Muramatsu (Tohan)

(T/N: Interview given to ATOM in winter 2023; 2 volumes were out in French.)

In an interview given to the CREA website in November 2022, you confided inventing stories since very young. Did your first fictions resemble the ones you draw nowadays?

It’s true that there are quite a lot of common points between the stories I imagined when I was a child and the ones I tell nowadays in my mangas. Especially a specific motif, that has been haunting me since the time when I wasn’t really aware of the world surrounding me: the presence amongst us of “non-human” beings, that nonetheless have a perfectly normal, ordinary appearance…

And how was this “obsession” born?

Precisely identifying the origins is complicated, my memories are too blurry, I think… What I can tell you is that I’ve always been fascinated by “creatures”. For example, I remember being very impressed by Peter Jackson’s bestiary in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. By the way, still in a fantasy register, I am also a big fan of Harry Potter adaptations… (She thinks.) And I’ve always liked yōkai stories, you know. I think that what I like in all these mythologies is the idea of species classification: each has its own characteristics – physical, biological – its own way to apprehend its environment.

In Japan, yōkai are integral part of regional folklore. Did the place you grew up in have some specific beliefs?

I was born and grew up in Tokyo, and, as you must know, yōkai are mostly associated with rural areas. I was thus never really bathed in this type of regional fantasy folklore. There are all kinds of yōkai and we can perhaps see in some more contemporary urban legends the echo of certain past beliefs? (She thinks.) I am a bit frustrated, because I believe that I could remember a legend that would have impacted me, but nothing comes to mind immediately, sorry!

You have already said so in an interview and it’s quite obvious when reading your work: you are a big amateur of horrific fiction. What has been your first contact with the genre, all medium included?

It was television that introduced me to horror: special shows, television films, series, I was watching these programs with a mix of fear and enthusiasm, a confused sensation that particularly delighted me! (She thinks.) And amongst all the aired shows, I will remember two titles: Hontō ni atta kowai hanashi and Kaidan shin mimibukuro*.

* Inspired by the homonymous manga magazine published by Asahi Shimbun, Hontō ni atta kowai hanashi (lit. “Scary stories that really happened”) is a series produced by Fuji Television that has been airing more or less weekly since 2004. Derived from literary material (a series of compilations of hundreds of short stories by Hirokatsu Kihara and Ichirō Nakayama, published from 1990 to 2005) Kaidan shin mimibukuro is a series made of several short movies depicting ghost stories based on real testimony.

Did you read horror mangas when you were young?

Let’s say that I was more interested in live-action productions. Nowadays, I obviously appreciate some horror manga authors, without pretending to be any expert in the subject. For example, I like Junji Itō’s work, but I am far from knowing it for a long time… (She thinks.) I could also talk about Shigeru Mizuki, who I also appreciate a lot.

The mechanics of fear aren’t the same in occidental and oriental fictions. You like American horrific productions – like Ari Aster movies – as much as ones from Japanese origin – you notably quote Ichi Sawamura novels and Kōji Shiraishi feature films. Can we say that you are tying these two perspectives with The Summer Hikaru Died?

My relationship with horror is more imbued with oriental sensitivity. But what I find remarkable in occidental horrific productions is work on image. In The Shining like in Ari Aster movies, for example, there is real research made on frame composition and choice of colours. I also try to follow this aesthetic reflection in my work as a mangaka.

In Ari Aster’s work, beyond the very precise staging, there is this permanent desire of ambiguity. Do you try to dig this same equivocal trench?

Absolutely. I try to tell complex feelings as well in The Summer Hikaru Died, like fear dyed with nostalgia or attachment, repulsion mixed with fascination, with attraction…

How do you “sort out” the shots that inspire you in cinema?

I don’t draw while freeze-framing during specific scenes. I would always rather watch a movie as a “focussed” spectator. However, I pay a lot of attention to the way the director composes their frame. I sometimes take some notes, but I most often simply keep it in a corner of my mind.

Could you tell us when and how the story and characters of The Summer Hikaru Died appeared to you? Have they matured a long time within you?

I’ve started thinking about this story when I was preparing university entrance exams. I was aspiring to join an art uni, and I was drawing every day. I can’t really say I made my characters “mature”: back then, I wasn’t thinking that the drawings I was making would one day end up being published, way less being serialised! I innocently created characters close to me, without guessing that one day they’d become manga protagonists.

One of your foundational reads was Sui Ishida’s Tokyo Ghoul manga. Can you tell us how you discovered it and what effect it had on you?

I don’t really remember how I discovered this series, but what I know is that I became crazy about it at first read. What I liked – and what I still like – is this idea of telling a story that confronts humans to these “different” beings while following the point of view of a character that represents alterity. Beyond this strictly dramatic aspect, Sui Ishida’s storyboarding and character design have had a strong impact on my work. However, I want to add that Tokyo Ghoul isn’t the only title I took inspiration from, I obviously have other references…

Do you do a lot of researches to define the design of your characters? You seem to draw them easily, in a very natural gesture…

I haven’t spent a long time defining my protagonists. First, there are few in the manga, then, they evolve in a rather realistic universe. My goal was rather simple: they had to look believable in the reader’s eyes. I wanted people to be able to imagine crossing them in the street, you see?

It’s after seeing illustrations posted on social media that depicted the future characters of The Summer Hikaru Died that the publishing department of the Young Ace Up magazine noticed you. How have you reacted when approached?

I was very surprised, because I absolutely wasn’t trying to become a mangaka. I would have never projected in such a future, you see. And, very honestly, if they hadn’t suggested working on this series, I don’t think I would ever had pushed the doors of a publishing house… I am then very thankful towards the persons who have allowed me to enter.

And what would you have done if you hadn’t been solicited?

Back when I’ve been contacted, I was considering – still vaguely – working in the video games field. But I wasn’t really proactive, I wasn’t contacting anyone, wasn’t sending resumes…

Did you want to do chara-design?

Why not, yes. What I like in video games is the range of possibilities they offer. You can then create an entire universe and this is rather exhilarating.

So you’re a gamer…

I have dropped my controller since I’ve started drawing manga. But yes, when I had more time, I played rather regularly, especially Nintendo productions…

Even if you play rather little nowadays, do video games influence your work?

I can’t say whether it really is an influence, but the Undertale game has left a big mark on me. I felt its creator’s strong will to surprise players, to make them feel unprecedented sensations…

Horror manga only relies on art and storyboard to provoke fear, whereas cinema and video games can also rely on sound. Is it from this observation that you have decided to particularly work on your sound effects?

Absolutely. I have thought a lot about the way to introduce and stage sound in The Summer Hikaru Died. The sound effects that you can find in the manga are indeed the result of this approach.

In an interview given to the Realsound website, you mention the use of the シャワシャワ (“shawa shawa”) sound effect. Knowing that occidental readers are way less sensitive to these graphicoustic details, can you explain its meaning?

“Shawa shawa” expresses the song cicadas make in western Japan. It’s a very special noise because in the different regions live different species that make specific sounds. So when I choose this specific sound effect, I convey a geographic and temporal piece of information to the reader, who can then guess the location and season the action takes place in. (She thinks.) When using this sound – that we especially find in the beginning of the manga – my goal was to play with silence, particularly when the song stops. I thus had the idea of representing this sound effect with an easily readable font, so the reader would make no effort to decipher it, as if the sound was asserting itself naturally, you see? I hoped to suggest a saturation they couldn’t avoid and that, when it’d stop, would immerse them in absolute silence.

The Summer Hikaru Died transcribes very well this particular atmosphere of Japanese summers…

Yes, I really wanted to signify this languor in my manga. And the cicadas’ song we discussed earlier contributes to creating this atmosphere: it’s an overwhelming sound, sometimes irritating, you cannot escape from in summer – Japanese readers obviously know what I’m talking about. (She thinks.) I also gave special attention to shadows: summer light being very bright, shadows are very sharp, very deep.

Do digital tools allow you to get this result more efficiently than traditional?

I work on Clip Studio Paint, and it’s true that it sometimes allow me to save time. Consider the work on shadows: I never apply solid black because I like saturating space with hatches and, with digital tools, I can obtain the desired result faster because I can duplicate each of my lines.

Your use of hatches is sometimes reminiscent of Shūzō Oshimi’s…

I don’t know his mangas very well, but it’s funny that you mention him because I recently read his latest series, Okaeri Alice. In any case, I really like his style and I perfectly understand how you can bring his universe and mine together.

The Summer Hikaru Died relies on the concept of body dispossession, that obviously takes back to the Body Snatcher novel by Jack Finney and its movie adaptations. Did you think about it?

I don’t know this book very well, but I know its theme has been approached often, especially in movies. As I was saying at the beginning of this interview, my idea was to adopt the point of view of a non-human and tell his indecision, his moral questions…

We also find this idea in Hitoshi Iwaaki’s Parasite…

I haven’t read the manga fully, but I’ve watched the anime adaptation that was released a few years ago (R/N: in 2014). I remember rather liking it, even if I think I offer something different with The Summer Hikaru Died. What interests me is sounding the inwardness of my non-human character out and expose all his dilemmas. What is his place amongst men? Is he legitimate in our world? Here is the type of questions that pushed me.

One of the impacting scenes of volume 1 of The Summer Hikaru Died is the one when Yoshiki penetrated Hikaru’s body by shoving his arm into his torso. It’s a sequence that is both very sensuaI – to not say sexuaI – and also very horrific. How did you get this idea?

I wanted to put the readers in an uncomfortable position. A stressful situation that could take several forms because, according to your sensitivity, you can feel very different emotions in front of this scene: sexuaI arousaI, fear or disgust. For me, it was supposed to put the reader in some kind of catatonia, you see?

Do you chat a lot with your tantō, especially around these slightly “complicated” scenes?

I have free rein, you know, I can draw everything I want. My editorial supervisor has never asked me to temper some sexuaIIy connotated parts. My discussions with him don’t revolve around this kind of things, but rather around the structure of the scenario itself: where to place this scene in the narration? Is it better to put this sequence before this other one? Nowadays, I am more at ease with all the scripting layout but, at the beginning, I needed support.

What allows you to get, from a dramatic point of view, the mix between bromance and horror?

I wanted to show the differences in sensitivities and values between a human being and an “other than human”, and tell the misunderstandings this can cause when both meet. When Yoshiki “scratches” under the appearance of the one who is supposed to be his best friend, it creates a first point of conflict in the story. I then hoped to make his relationship with Hikaru – or rather with the “entity” that pretends to embody him – a kind of undefinable bond, that wouldn’t be friendship, nor love.

Do you know today where this strange relationship between your two heroes will lead you?

I know more or less how all of this will evolve, yes. I have decided on my story’s general plot since the beginning. I can only tell you that The Summer Hikaru Died won’t be a long series.

How do you explain the almost instant public plebiscite of your series in Japan? You perhaps cannot have perspective on it but, in a saturated publishing landscape, you have managed to stand out…

Hm… Indeed, I don’t really have precise explanations to give you about this success. Maybe the covers’ design has been in favour of the manga? I asked the person in charge of graphics to make sure that the visuals would be noticeable in bookstores. That’s why the books have this monochrome aspect, with the title discreetly placed. I didn’t want obvious advertisement banners, but something simple, like this blue background for the first volume, on which the character stands out. I also wished to create contrast between the jacket’s and the inner cover’s drawings. I thus had requirements that didn’t quite go alongside what we can nowadays see on the shelves of Japanese bookstores.

#the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #/long post #I'm not a native eng speaker so excuse mistakes!#the fr version has fancy words that I simplified for the eng translation #Feel free to ask any question!#The og article had manga illustrations with funny comments as legends + a short analysis of the manga's narration that I didn't include #The og title was 'Qui se dissemble s'assemble'#which is a play of words saying the opposite of idiom 'Qui se ressemble s'assemble' lit 'who look alike go together'#so I went for a silly equivalent lmao

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books-are-my-life-stuff · 6 months

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Happy 1106 day!

1106 is also known as the Adler dorm number for Rayne Ames (and his roommate Max Land), so November 6th is commonly celebrated in the Japanese fanbase as "Rayne Ames Festival Day".

As a celebration, I've roughly translated Rayne and Max's fan book profiles under the cut! It's full of interesting information about them as an individual character that doesn't manage to get explored much in the main series, so hope you enjoy it!

"A taciturn sword that sticks to his convictions, and a Divine Visionary that strictly speaks on one's back."

Rayne Ames

Quote: "You need to shut your mouth, before I shut it for you." (from Volume 13, chapter 117)

Small memo (near little Rayne and Finn image): A minimalist with a penchant for saving money, except for things related to rabbits and his younger brother.

A magician who becomes a Divine Visionary to change the Magic World from the ground up for the sake of his family. He's pursuing such a dream as he balances his work as a Divine Visionary and his responsibilities as a student. Profile (these have been translated in wiki and thus taken from there)

Birthday: March 3 Age: 18 years old Height: 175cm Weight: 67kg Dominant hand: Left Foot size: 27.5cm Family: Finn Ames (younger brother) Good subjects: Magic History, Magical Zoology Bad subject(s): Fortune telling Hobbies: Rabbit sucking, sewing Favorite food: Bean sprouts, vegetables Favorite words: Say what you want Favorite type of the opposite sex: Never thought about it Dislikes: Talking more than necessary Frequently visited school spots: Purchasing department How to spend money: Savings, rabbit breeding expenses How to spend holidays: Taking care of rabbits

Relationship Chart

Rayne to Mash: A troublesome junior Rayne to Finn: Must be protected at all costs Rayne to Kaldo: Thank you for taking care of my brother Rayne to Max: Only best friend Rayne to rabbit: *sighs softly* Rayne to Wahlberg: Old geezer who likes to boss people around

Magic: Sword Magic

A magic that can summon countless swords. The personal magic, named "Partisan", has a power level measured through percentages that can be adjusted, an average student usually can't even handle 10% of it.

The caption of Rayne calling out Partisan picture: It's one of the most deadly magic in the Magic World, but he brandishes it only for the sake of justice.

Divine Visionary: of Sword Cane, as well as one of the Directors of the Magical Items Department

All the magical items existing in the Magic World have very strict control. Newly manufactured tools are delivered to the Bureau of Magic to ensure safety. After carefully examining them and making sure the new items are safe, they'll be delivered to the citizens.

The caption of the Magic Mirror (used by Cell War against Mash): The loss of the Magic Mirror marks a great mistake for all of the directors of the department.

Pick-up: An Awkward Big Brother

Rayne, who rarely talks but always shows through his actions, makes people have a lot of trust in him, and many students follow his way too. However, his lack of words often causes many misunderstandings.

Quote for upper image: "I've always been really terrible at encouraging people." (Volume 6, Chapter 47)

Caption for upper image: He tried to put himself in the position of the junior who's taking reckless challenges.

Quote for left image: "I'll make sure that brazen kid, goes as far as he can go." (Volume 6, Chapter 46)

Caption for left image: He forced Margarette, who was after Mash, to retreat by using his Thirds.

Quote: "Words only have a meaning when paired with actions. If you can't act, it's the same as not saying anything at all." (Volume 6, Chapter 45)

Caption: This principle came from his late parents who passed away without words or promises. Since that time, he always lived up to his words.

Quote: "I still remember you used to come crying at me over the smallest things. You've grown up." (Volume 14, Chapter 119)

Caption for his moments with Finn: For the sake of his younger brother, he had always been shouldering many burdens. However, after seeing his brother's growth, he changed his mind.

Pick Up: A Genuine Rabbit Lover for Life

It all began when Max suggested Rayne, who was at that time aiming to be the Divine Visionary, to start having rabbits out of concern for Rayne's mental health's well-being. Now, Rayne has never stopped to pour an extraordinary amount of love for his rabbits.

The caption of Rayne surrounded by rabbits: This scene too is a display of Rayne's "survival of the fittest" between the strong and the weak (?)

The caption of Rayne's rabbit handkerchief: Should you ever find a lost rabbit-patterned goodies, please give it to Rayne first and foremost.

Mash's Room Corner (a corner to talk about gossip relating to the character, with Mash's commentary)

"I've been in the same dorm as Rayne since middle school but...that Rayne...there were quite a few times when the screws in his head were loose. He takes jokes a little too seriously, and because of that, I had to teach him lots of them." (from Max)

Mash: An unexpected side of a good person.

The Secret Story of Rayne as told by ***!! (a corner about various characters' opinions of a character, in this case, their opinions of Rayne)

Ryoh: I understand the feeling of pushing yourself away for your family's sake, but sometimes relying on others is what makes a man, Rayne.

Margarette: I saw Rayne trying to help a lost child in the city. However, he accidentally made the child cry even more because of his unfriendly looks and unsociability.

Brad: So you've become the Divine Visionary through hard work. Well, depending on Mash's hard work, my promotion might not just be a dream anymore.

Cell War: Since you're one of the directors of the Magical Items Department, it's really difficult to sneak in. Still, the staff canteen's foods are really delicious.

"Summarizing the Adler Dorm: Honest and full of conscience"

Max Land

Quote: "Let's solve this together!" (Volume 6, chapter 49)

Small memo (near the picture of running Max): His foot speed is number one! He also has a playful side when he pulls a prank and runs.

A third-year at Adler dorm who is open-minded and friendly. Since he is well-liked within the school, he often shares his wisdom and consults others.

Profile (these have been translated in wiki and thus taken from there with slight adjustment)

Birthday: November 19 Age: 18 years old Height: 168cm Weight: 64kg Blood type: O Dominant hand: Right Foot size: 26cm Family members: Father, Mother, Eldest brother, Older brother Good subject: Magic history Bad subject: Broom class Hobbies: Exploring the school while making his body smaller Favorite food: Deep-fried salamander Favorite words: 平凡 (Heibon: Ordinary or commonplace) Favorite type of opposite sex: People who have their own world Dislikes: High places Frequently visited school spots: Purchasing Department How to spend money: Book fees (mainly comic books) How to spend holidays: Going to Marchette Street with friends and taking care of rabbits when Rayne is away

Relationship Chart

Max to Mash: Junior Max to Rayne: You're so awkward I can't leave you alone Max to Finn: Like my own little brother Max to Carpaccio: Lately, when I look around, you're suddenly sitting next to me.

Magic: Size-changing Magic

This magic can change the size of people and objects. Up to 3 different people and/or objects can be resized at one time. This personal magic is very handy for support, as shown during the selection exam where he helped his ally.

Image caption: He made himself and Mash smaller to get away from the eyes of Deadervants.

Mash's Room Corner

I consulted with him the other day, but that guy has the face of an ordinary person but still manages to look handsome. It's plainly and doubly frustrating. (from Dot)

Mash: I feel sorry for Senior Max for being blamed unreasonably like that.

Pick-Up: A Selfish Desire as a Senior

He has a naturally caring personality who won't ever leave his troubled junior behind. But the truth is he just wants to "prove himself like a man", which he despises himself for.

Quote for upper image: "My premonition was right..." (Volume 6, chapter 50)

Quote for left image: "Say, Rayne. Did I do my best for the younger students?"

Caption for left image: Supporting the junior that Rayne is interested in.

The Secret Story of Max as told by ***!!

Tom: I invited him to join Duelo, but he declined because he is scared of heights. Senior Max, you're like a bamboo that's stuck on the ground!

BONUS (from the Q&A session with the original creator Komoto Hajime-sensei):

Q17: In the final chapter, are Rayne and Finn of the Ames brothers able to get along again?

A17: Rayne (addressed as 'onii-tama here) is a tsundere, but I think they're able to get along well!

Q18: Why does Finn call Rayne with "Nii-sama" instead of "Nii-san"?

A18: Because of the distance between them...

(A/N: In the original Japanese version, Finn does not call Rayne by name, but calls him "Nii-sama", this has a lot of meaning and nuances that unfortunately are hard to translate and doesn't have an English equivalent, hence the change. "Onii-tama" on the other hand is a baby talk version of "onii-sama".)

#mashle magic and muscles #rayne ames #max land #official fanbook #happy 1106 day!#i dunno why i spent 6 hours non-stop reading kanjis until my eyes hurt for this #but this was fun!#i know there's a lot of rayne fans too here so enjoy!#feel free to correct me if there's any mistake because there's a bunch of things I'm unsure about #mashleverse

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scotianostra · 3 months

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On February 1st 1865 the Highland Railway was formed from the amalgamation of Inverness and Perth Junction and the Inverness and Aberdeen Junction Railways.

Back in the day every region had it’s own local railway company covering the different areas around the country. The Highland Railway ran from Perth in Central Scotland north to Inverness and then on up the east coast to Wick and Thurso. From Dingwall, the railway ran west to Kyle of Lochalsh to serve Skye and the Western Isles. From Inverness, another line ran east to Keith, where it connected with the line to Aberdeen. Several branches were built from this core network to serve nearby towns.

This is a longer post than I normally put together but hope you get an idea of how all these wee companies ran, and ended up becoming the one company, before of course the bigger companies ate them all up. Some of the stations are now gone, but others mentioned, like Kingussie, Nairn, Keith and Dunkeld survive to this day, and I often pass through them on my travels north. It also gives us an insight intothe infamous Beeching cuts in the 60’s which butchered the rail network, if Beeching had his way there would be no railways beyond Inverness!!

Inverness was always the centre of the Highland Railway. It was the company’s headquarters and principle station. All trains led to Inverness.

The original proposals to construct railways to Inverness were made in the mid-1840s. Rival routes were proposed from Perth and Aberdeen . The Perth & Inverness Railway was considered too hilly for the locomotives of the day, but the Great North of Scotland Railway (GNSR) from Aberdeen was authorised. The GNSR struggled to raise capital in the post-railway mania period and eventually started construction as far as Huntly in 1852, opening that line in 1854.

The people of Inverness then stepped in and started building their own line from the Inverness end, initially as far as Nairn, the Inverness & Nairn Railway (I&N) was opened on 6th. November 1855 but by then plans were being made to extend this railway to meet the GNSR. After some discussion, the Inverness & Aberdeen Junction Railway (I&AJ) was promoted to build the line from Nairn to Keith where it met the GNSR extension from Huntly. The I&AJ was completed on 18th. August 1858,when it took over the working of the I&N.

The people of Inverness were never satisfied with the long journey round via Aberdeen , especially as the GNSR’s station was half a mile from that of the line from the south and connections were not always maintained. Thus was born the Inverness and Perth Junction Railway (I&PJR) which ran from Forres via Grantown, Kingussie and Drumochter summit to Dunkeld where it met with end on with the Perth and Dunkeld Railway which had opened in 1856. The I&P was authorised in 1861 and opened just two years later, being worked from the outset by the I&AJR. The two companies amalgamated on 1st. February 1865 to form the Highland Railway.

Meanwhile construction northwards from Inverness had already started, with a line to Dingwall (1862), Invergordon (1863), Bonar Bridge (1864), Golspie (1868), Helmsdale (1871) and Wick and Thurso (1874). Westward from Dingwall, the Dingwall & Skye Railway was opened to Strome Ferry in 1870.

In the 1890s, two additions were made to the main network. The direct line from Aviemore over Slochd to Inverness was completed in 1898, a year after the Skye line was extended to the present terminus at Kyle of Lochalsh. Several branches were opened from these main lines over the next 40 years, taking the final length of the system to some 242 route miles.Tourist traffic has always been a major source of income for the railways in the Highlands . The Highland Railway developed its own hotels at Inverness , Dornoch and Strathpeffer. It offered combined tours in conjunction with the steamer services of David MacBrayne. Each August it had to contend with the annual migration north for the ‘glorious twelfth.’

The railway played a major part in the First World War, when the Grand Fleet was stationed at Scapa Flow in the Orkney Islands . Worn down, like many other railways in the country, it became part of the London , Midland and Scottish Railway in 1923. The LMS continued to develop the lines, introducing dining cars and speeding up services. The Second World War again imposed a considerable strain on the lines.

On the nationalisation of the railways, the Scottish Region of British Railways took over. Soon the development of road transport made a significant impact on the use of the railway. The closure of branch lines, which had started in the 1930s, continued. The Beeching Plan of 1963 envisaged the closure of all lines north of Inverness , but this was not approved because those lines still provided a lifeline in winter. The old route from Aviemore to Forres and a number of intermediate stations on the main lines, were closed. Otherwise the main system remained intact, as it does today. Currently operated by ScotRail, the lines continue to provide a vital link to locals and bring many tourists to the area.

The Highland Railway was well known for its locomotives. Working the steep gradients of the main line, in particular, was always a challenge. Add strong winds and snow and the problems became even worse. The railway introduced the first 4-6-0s to the British Isles, commemorated in the preserved No.103 at the Glasgow Transport Museum . In the 1930s, the LMS Black 5s, locally always called “Hikers”, immediately proved their worth. The isolated nature of the country led British Railways to implement complete dieselisation early in the modernisation plan.

Today class 158 and 170 diesel multiple units work most of the trains, but you can still retire to bed in a sleeper on the line out of London Euston and wake up to the sound of a Class 67 struggling up Drumochter.

#scotland #scottish #history #scottish highlands #rail network #transport

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 8 months

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"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 11: April I

{{ Chapter 10: March I | Chapter 12: May I }} Chapter Directory

noooow y'all can understand why i had to rename the ex-boyfriend to zack instead of having him be porco because i made him too much of a dick skdjfksd

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, the ex boyfriend that used to be porco that i renamed to zack, emotionally abusive behavior, negative self-talk, levi being kinda mean again, levi being bad at feelings ✧ word count ➼ ~7.2k

It was finally spring break. After the events of last month, you were more than ready to leave town and get a much needed vacation. Luckily, Hizuru wasn't far and was just across the bay, so you got a nice cruise ride in addition to your time spent at the resort. You decided to keep this trip just between you and Petra, spending the week with just the two of you to recharge and be ready to take on the rest of the semester once you came back.

Levi couldn't be more thrilled. The past few months have all involved something related to you that ended up distracting him from reading or writing. Having you gone for a week means he can finally catch up on work without being distracted by your shenanigans every other week.

However, he currently found himself standing at the doorway of the apartment, glancing into the living room. He was thrilled for sure, but despite that, he seemed to have a heavy heart when he entered his empty apartment. It didn't make any sense to him. Why would he feel remorseful that you're gone when all you've ever done is be a pain in the ass to him?

He couldn't deny it. He missed you. Levi felt a confusing mix of emotions and he couldn't keep his mind off you all week. Given your habits with partying, he wondered how you were doing on your own in a foreign town. Sure, Petra was with you, but she could hardly count as a sober contact. If she was drinking with you, you'd have to rely on yourself to get home, which was unsettling to him.

He found himself both looking forward to and dreading you getting back home. It got to the point that when you did find yourself back home, Levi did everything in his power to ignore your presence. He was too confused and lost in his thoughts to want to be around you. He would have a mix of happy thoughts and distressing ones of confusion and anxiety while you were around. Thus, he barely said a word to you once you got home.

"Nice to see you too, I guess," you mumbled, a little taken aback by your roommate's increased level of aloofness.

Ever since November and especially since January, the two of you had started to bond. Levi wasn't always referring to you as an annoying undergrad and you no longer saw him as just your "grumpy roommate". You understood each other more and there was some foundation of basic respect there, but none of that was to be seen at the moment.

You awkwardly shifted around the house as you unpacked your suitcase from the trip.

"Hey, have you seen my phone charger?" you asked Levi, who was standing in the kitchen, brewing his late afternoon tea.

"No," he said, glancing at you. "Why would I have?"

"You're the one that's been here all week," you said with a shrug.

"Yeah," Levi scoffed, "actually doing work, unlike whatever the fuck you were doing across the bay."

You frowned at him, slightly offended by his comment.

"Hey, I was doing work!" you said with a pout. "Whatever. Can I borrow your charger then? My phone's almost dead."

"What else is new?" Levi said dryly.

You were on your way to grabbing his phone charger when you heard him make that comment and you immediately halted, scowling while looking back at him.

"Okay, what the hell is up with you?" you said sternly as you walked back towards him. "You've barely said a word to me ever since I got home. Did I say something? Do something? Did I not clean something the way you wanted it?"

Levi responded with an overly exasperated groan.

"God, it's such a pain in the ass to have you back again."

You fell quiet at his comment. The fact that this was all he said in response to your questions over what you did wrong indicated to you that it was just your presence that he was pissed about. You weren't sure why his comment stung you as harshly as it did. He essentially thought the same thing when you first moved in and you didn't give a single shit—but now the idea of him hating you made you want to shut down and hide.

"Well," you spoke quietly, "I'm sorry being around me is so bothersome for you."

Levi didn't respond, which only confirmed your suspicions.

You clenched your fists as you felt your emotions beginning to rise up and threaten to boil over.

He was an asshole. That's all he was and that never changed and you were a fool to think otherwise. He probably hated you for all the times he had to come rescue you from some dumb situation that you found yourself in.

"Whatever," you whispered as you walked past him and grabbed your phone and keys.

"Where are you going?" Levi said with a sigh as you opened the door.

"Getting some air, I guess," you grumbled before glancing back at him without fully making eye contact. "I thought we were over this."

~~~~~

You had stormed out in such a hurry that you didn't even bother to change into outdoor clothes. You were currently swinging alone at an empty playground that had been long abandoned for the day due to the incoming storm. The wind blew through your hair, which had come undone from its ponytail and you lacked the motivation to put it back up. You were wearing a loose t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants on.

Normally, you'd feel a sense of shame for being out in public like this—but right now, you couldn't give less of a shit. You needed to get away from Levi.

Things had begun to improve ever since November when he took you on that drive after your aunt had decided to tear your entire life apart through a single phone call. You had reached some point of mutual respect. He wasn't the aloof asshole you thought he was, and you weren't the naïve undergrad that he thought you were. After January, it even seem like he cared for your well-being. He went out in the middle of the night searching for you and even went out of his way to care for you when you were sick.

Yet, he seemed to have completely regressed after you came back from spring break. What if you were misreading him? What if his opinion about you never actually changed and you were just deluding yourself?

Maybe I should find another apartment after all.

Levi's lack of a response earlier when you were trying to figure out what was wrong only confirmed your suspicion that he thought you were a nuisance. You had asked him what you did wrong so you can do better, and all he responded with was that he was sick of having you around. If it was a few months ago, you'd be more than happy to continue being a nuisance to him. With how grumpy he always was, it felt like a comedic job to you.

However, after you had opened up to him about your dynamic with your aunt and even slightly alluded to your situation with Zack, you had hoped that dynamic would have changed or at least improved. The fact that it didn't seem to wear away at you.

His comment had hurt you.

You gripped at the chain holding the swing onto the bar above it as thoughts of your inability to hold any type of long-term friendship began to swirl around in your mind. Oluo and Gunther were surface-level at best. You called Petra your 'best friend', but even that relationship felt shallow, as if she was just tolerating you. You were always the one reaching out.

Being tolerated was a feeling you were used to. After all, that basically summed up your relationship with Zack. You had started off as high school sweethearts, but over the course of the three years that was your stormy relationship with him, you knew that he only tolerated your presence, which is why he was more than ready to kick you out in June.

As if he was listening in on your thoughts, you felt your phone buzz and frowned when you saw that you had received a text from your ex-boyfriend.

> [zack (3:45pm)]: we need to talk. i'll pick you up at the bar we used to go to. > [you (3:46pm)]: why > [zack (3:51pm)]: wtf do you mean why? plus some of your shit is still at my place > [you (3:53pm)]: wonder who's fault that was > [zack (3:54pm)]: the hell is up with this attitude? just get to the bar, i'll be there in 20.

~~~~~

Levi's day had been going terribly. Without even considering your little tantrum, he was already stressed about a research update he had to do in two weeks that he hadn't had the time to work on.

The forefront of his mind blamed it on you. You came home and immediately began disrupting his life and bringing chaos home again—but he knew that wasn't true. It wasn't your fault. You were gone for an entire week throughout spring break and he still wasn't able to get anything done. His inability to work had nothing to do with you.

Upon realizing that fact, he scrunched his eyebrows together, wondering if he had actually been a bit too cold with you once you got home. He had caught himself getting much softer with you throughout the last month, even allowing you to sleep in the same bed with him because you had a nightmare. That, itself, was already unheard of for Levi Ackerman.

He brought out his phone. The time was a bit past 6:30pm. He had around two hours before he had to get to the café to pick up a closing shift from Onyankopon. He opened up his text message thread with you and frowned, wondering if he should shoot you an apology message.

Eventually, he decided against it. After all, why should he apologize to you when you were the one being a little shit?

Still, you were gone for a while. It was around 2:00pm when you stormed out of the apartment, and it was starting to get late.

He placed his phone in his pocket, annoyed for even getting remotely concerned about your well-being for something as simple as you stepping out of the house for the day. He could feel himself getting attached, despite all of his efforts to get himself not to. The feelings that you elicited out of him were miserable to deal with and he knew the best way to get rid of them was to put a stop to any feelings of this newfound attachment. Why he was even getting attached to you in the first place was astonishing. It pissed him off.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he shut his laptop and got up from his desk, walking out of his bedroom. He grabbed his jacket off of the coat hanger as well as his car keys, deciding on going for a drive in an attempt to clear his mind from any remaining thoughts of you.

~~~~~

After an exceedingly awkward dinner and car ride with your ex-boyfriend, you finally arrived back at Zack's apartment. You felt an uncomfortable, dull feeling appear in your chest as you walked into the apartment that you had lived in for the first two years of your undergrad. It could hardly be even called an apartment. It appeared more like a loft that had multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and nearly triple the amount of the living space that you currently had in your apartment with Levi. It was obnoxiously luxurious and it ironically made you appreciate your humble lifestyle with Levi now.

You shuffled awkwardly as you followed Zack towards the dining room area. The t-shirt and sweatpants that you wore felt out of place and inappropriate. He rarely saw you like this, if ever. Even when you were home for the entire day, you were constantly wearing outdoor clothes, like a blouse and jeans, around him. That's just how you were. Appearing the way you did now around him felt wrong, although you couldn't quite explain why. It wasn't that you were uncomfortable with dressing more casually—you did that at home now all the time, but the minute that you stepped out the door of your home and into Zack's, you began to feel your anxiety rise up.

"Well, you certainly look like a slob," Zack mumbled, glancing at your outfit.

"Well, I didn't have time to dress up for you, Your Majesty," you retorted, frowning at him, "since you decided to text me last minute."

Zack was not used to this outspoken nature of your personality. When you were with him, you were much more pleasurable to be around—at least according to Zack. He did not appreciate this new facet of your personality that has suddenly arisen within the past few months.

He made a head nod towards a box of some of your stuff that was casually thrown into a corner of the living room. You looked over before taking a seat at the dining table.

"What did you want to talk about?"

He sat down across from you.

"Listen," he began, and you immediately clenched your jaw, having a basic idea of where this was going. "I know I overreacted when we left off. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. I shouldn't have kicked you out."

Your mind went back to the fateful interaction with Zack that led to you being forced to find an apartment last minute. No matter how you tried to rationalize it, you knew that Zack was controlling and prone to getting extremely angry whenever you resisted his wishes. Small grievances with him had built up to a penultimate point in which you confronted him and he reacted poorly.

If this was any other day, you'd likely immediately tell him to fuck off—but the events of the day that had happened earlier with Levi left you much more emotionally vulnerable than usual. You'd be lying if the idea of falling into someone's arms didn't bring even the slightest amount of comfort to your mind—even if that someone was Zack.

However, as Zack continued to monologue about the potential of you moving back in with him, you began to pull up the reality of your relationship with him. You were definitely more unhappy than you were willing to admit to anyone and you knew it had something to do with his controlling nature. He had kept you pretty isolated from any potential friends—and now that you think about it, that could be why you struggled with making and keeping deep friendships now.

No matter how desperate you were right now for some form of intimacy to make up for the turmoil swirling within you throughout the latter half of the day, the last thing you wanted to do was get back together with someone that felt the need to dictate your every move and action.

"You're the one that kicked me out, Zack," you said once he finally gave you a chance to speak.

"Well, now I'm inviting you back in."

"What if I don't want to?" you responded, feeling your anxiety kicking in. Zack hadn't even done anything yet, but your instincts immediately dumped all of the reactions that constituted being anxious onto you.

"What the fuck do you mean you 'don't want to'?" Zack asked, scowling at you, the anger beginning to creep into his voice.

You took a deep breath, clenching your fist that was resting on your lap to maintain your resolve.

"I said what I said. You kicked me out and I'm over it."

At this point, Zack had fully realized that he can't control you anymore, which further irritated him.

"Whatever," he said, waving you off. "Just take your shit and leave."

"Gladly," you responded coldly as you began to get up.

"I'm not driving you."

You stopped and looked back at him. You weren't that surprised by his comment, but you still felt a little off-put by his lack of remorse to just leave you stranded again.

"The buses around here aren't running this late."

"Sounds like a you problem."

You remembered this. If Zack got pissed at you and didn't get what he wanted from you, then no one was getting anything at all.

"You really expect me to walk?"

He shrugged.

"Or sleep on the streets until the buses are up. I don't really give a shit."

You felt your anxiety quickly turn into anger and frustration as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of the person responsible for all of your recent misfortunes, but what was currently happening was representative of all the bullshit that you had to deal with for three years.

"Fine," you said quietly as you headed for the door, not even bothering to grab your stuff from him. "You're a dick."

As you walked out the door, you felt your breathing quickly destabilizing.

Recently, the only person you had been regularly referring to as a dick was your grumpy roommate. However, after having this interaction with Zack, you realized that Zack was actually a dick and that Levi was nowhere close to it. It brought up a slight sense of guilt regarding your hostility towards your roommate. You would choose living with Levi over moving back in with Zack any day.

Reminiscing about your attitude towards your roommate immediately reminded you of him, and although you were still mad at him for his behavior earlier, you knew that you could at least trust him to not leave you stranded.

As a result, you immediately pulled out your phone and shot him a quick text, asking if he could pick you up as you continued to navigate your way out of Zack's apartment complex.

~~~~~

The rain had already started pouring. There wasn't too much wind, but the rainfall was heavy, which would have made it even more impossible to walk home if you were forced into that decision. Instead, you were waiting for Levi to arrive, seeking shelter under the canopy of Zack's apartment building to stay dry.

You glanced up as you heard the front door open and saw that Zack came downstairs with the box of your belongings with the intention of tossing it all into the dumpster. You watched as all of your former stuff disappeared into the green container of garbage.

When Zack saw you on his way back, he scowled at you.

"When I said sleep on the streets, I didn't mean here. Fuck off."

"You fuck off," you replied, matching his scowl.

The two of you held a staring contest for a few minutes until you heard a car drive up out of the corner of your eye. A feeling of relief washed over you once you saw that it was Levi's. You could finally go home and forget this nightmare.

He had arrived faster than expected, and part of you knew that this was likely due to a combination of the situation that had occurred in January and how far out you currently were. Plus, at this point, he was probably more than ready to expect texts from you to ask him to pick you up. It had become a pattern, although you weren't entirely sure how you felt about that fact.

You did not include in your text message the reasoning as to why you were trapped at an apartment that was a 20-minute drive from campus, so you weren't too surprised when you saw a look of concern on Levi's face as he saw you scowling at who he was able to deduce as your ex-boyfriend.

"You'd really call anyone to pick you up, huh?" Zack said to you as you began to walk off. "You're fucking pathetic."

If you were the same person that you were when you were with him, then his insult might have had some merit. If this was a year ago, you really wouldn't have had anyone to call. You didn't have any reliable friends back then, and that's likely what Zack still believed to be the case now.

"He's my roommate, you asshole," you said as you grit your teeth, "and a much better one than you ever were."

Your last comment must have made something snap within Zack's psyche, as he immediately grabbed onto your wrist before you were able to walk further towards Levi's car.

In the split second before you were forced to turn around to face Zack, you were able to see Levi's face transition from one of confusion to one of immediate concern as he began to move out of the car to see what was going on.

"What, I leave you for less than a year and you're already hoeing around with other men?" Zack scolded. "Why the fuck would you get a male roommate? Did you do this shit-"

"Just leave me alone, Zack!" you yelled back at him as you yanked your wrist back from him.

"You're fucking pathetic, _____. I'm giving you maybe another two weeks before you come crawling-"

"Do you ever shut up?" a third voice said.

You looked up and saw that Levi had walked over from the car after seeing the commotion. He held an irritated look on his face that was directed towards your ex-boyfriend, able to fully deduce the context of what was going on.

Zack was caught off-guard by your roommate coming out of the car to come to your defense. He was almost half a foot taller than Levi, but Levi's commanding presence took up all the space between them, making it so that it took Zack a few seconds longer than usual to come up with a retort.

Levi rolled his eyes at him as he turned to follow you after you began to storm towards the car, not paying particular attention to Zack, who had begun to open his mouth to speak again.

Any word that came out of his mouth was unheard, although you couldn't tell if that was due to your own thoughts overwhelming you or if it was because of the rain and wind that was rapidly picking up into a full-fledged storm.

Once you finally got into the car and shut the door, you buried your face in your hands as the tears finally flowed out from your eyes and down your cheeks, eventually collecting in the palms of your hands, only adding onto the chaotic whirl of thoughts that were running rampant in your head.

~~~~~

Levi remained silent as you continued to sob quietly in the passenger's seat, giving you time and space to process whatever the hell just happened.

You peeked through your fingers as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. With how frequently it was vibrating, you were already able to tell that it was Zack spamming you with text messages.

You glanced at your phone, opening the texts, although you were barely able to see with your tears clouding your vision. You vaguely saw a string of text messages of Zack calling you pathetic, a burden, a waste of three years of his life, and everything in-between. You clenched at your phone as you felt more tears gathering up in your eyes and you shakily navigated to his contact information to block him before tossing your phone into the back seat of the car.

After a few more minutes, you felt your breathing stabilize and you rubbed at your now-swollen eyes.

"I assume that's your shitty ex?" Levi finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you.

"Wonder how you figured that out," you grumbled with a sniffle.

"Tch," Levi said as he clenched his jaw, more than a little annoyed with the attitude that was attached to that response. "Why'd you have to choose the one night that I have to work an extra shift to pull this shit? How the fuck does you 'getting some air' translate into this?"

While Levi's grumpy attitude and snarky remarks were something you were usually used to and barely fazed by, given the fact that you were already really emotional and vulnerable from what had just happened with Zack made Levi berating you hurt much more than usual.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" you yelled out. "I didn't know who else to call. You could've said no."

Levi glanced at you for a moment. He found himself getting increasingly annoyed.

That wasn't the point. He wasn't annoyed because he had to come out to get you. That was the least of his concerns. What had concerned him more was what could have happened if he didn't come to get you. What annoyed him the most was how reckless you were and how you were never able to see that.

"Why did you even go to see him anyway? You said he's your ex? The one that was dragging you around all over the place and-"

"I don't know, okay?!" you yelled out again, feeling increasingly frustrated with every word that was coming out of Levi's mouth. "He just texted me and said we needed to talk and as usual I was dumb enough to listen to him. I don't even know what the hell I was looking for. The minute I got into his car, I was able to tell that he wanted to do something along the lines of getting back together and I was enough of an idiot to believe even for a second that it was genuine—and then I saw how pissed he got when I said no and he kicked me out all over again and I'm always, always, always making these stupid decisions and it's probably just a burden on everyone around me: Zack, you, my aunt—hell, probably even Petra and Oluo and-"

"Cut that out," Levi said in an attempt to cut off your rambling.

"-and my aunt was probably right in that I'm literally wasting my life getting a degree in something that might not even get me a guaranteed job. Literally every single decision I have ever made in my entire life has been a fucking disaster and I bet you can't fucking wait to get rid of me once summer arrives, because I'd be wanting to get rid of me, too! And-"

"God dammit, cut that shit out, _____!"

The storm was pouring down on you full-force at this rate, almost as if it was mirroring how volatile your emotions were.

As soon as Levi snapped at you, you clenched your fists, nearly trembling with rage.

After a few seconds of saying nothing, you decided you had enough. You immediately went to undo your seatbelt, fumbling around a bit more than usual due to the shaking that you couldn't seem to control.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Levi asked as he noticed your movements.

His eyes widened and he had to slam down on the brake pedal as he noticed you open the door to the car as he was still driving.

Luckily, he wasn't going very fast in the first place due to the storm, but you still ended up stumbling out of the car, nearly falling straight down onto the soaked concrete.

He slowly came to a stop right next to you, leaning towards the passenger seat as the door still hung open.

You shot him a glare before turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Where the hell are you going in the middle of this storm?"

You stopped walking and clenched your fists as you faced him again.

"Anywhere but here!" you shouted. "I'm sorry I made you come out all this way. I'll find a cheap motel to stay at or something if I'm really that much of a bother to you right now."

You turned towards no direction in particular and began walking again.

"_____, come back."

You glared at him again.

"So you can just berate me again? Fuck off."

You continued walking.

"You're such a dumbass."

You halted in your footsteps as he blatantly insulted you again.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what I said," he said, frowning at you. "Did you really think I'd come out all this way if I didn't want to?"

You matched his frown.

"Well, it sure sounds like it with how pissed you sound."

"Because you piss me off."

You threw your hands up in frustration.

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!"

Levi let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, I'm pissed beyond belief and I'm still here. Now get the fuck back in the car before you get all soaked and make a mess all over the seat."

You glared at him for a few more seconds before mumbling a "fine" and reluctantly getting back into the car.

He drove in silence for a bit, bewildered at the fact that you almost ran off into the middle of nowhere during a raging storm without your phone. If that wasn't the definition of reckless, then he didn't know what was.

"You didn't have to come out just to pick me up," you mumbled again. "I know I texted you, but that doesn't mean shit."

"Tch, did you not hear me?" he said, slightly shaking his head at your repeated commentary. "I came because I wanted to."

He glanced at you before speaking up again.

"Get over yourself, you didn't force me to do shit."

His grip on the wheel tightened as he looked back towards the road.

"You're not special."

He heard your breath hitch at that last comment and his finger tapped on the wheel gently as he felt a very subtle hint of guilt creeping up in the back of his mind.

You're not special.

That thought kept running through your mind. You knew that you weren't special. The chaos that was your life was pretty indicative of that. Yet, why did it hurt so much when it was him that said it?

You finally opened your mouth to speak again. Your voice was quiet, as if you had given up on fighting against that comment. You'd accepted it, whether you wanted to or not.

"Then why the fuck are you so pissed off?"

It took Levi a moment to figure out the best way to respond as he continued to glare at the road.

"I'm pissed because you're always putting yourself in these situations without thinking for yourself. You're always going alone to get shit-faced at a party or staying out late enough that you're forced to walk home, or getting into shitty situations with shitty people."

You didn't respond, trying to figure out how to interpret his words.

"I'm pissed because you keep putting yourself in danger."

Ah, you thought as you came to a conclusion over what he was trying to say. He was saying that you were too dumb or naïve to take care of yourself.

Whether that was actually true or not didn't matter to you—that's what was going through your head. No matter what Levi was actually trying to say, you had now settled on the idea that you were nothing more than a nuisance to him and that he felt some weird sense of responsibility for you. Similar to everyone else in your life, you were nothing but a burden to him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Levi slightly looked over at you, noting that you were getting caught up in your head from the events of today. He knew that he was at least partially responsible, yet he still never imagined that he'd find himself in this type of situation again. He was used to picking you up from random places at this point. He was fine with that. However, picking you up from your ex-boyfriend's in the middle of what could be interpreted as a violent confrontation was not something that he was expecting to have to deal with.

By the time you got home, you were shivering from standing out in the rain. Levi had given you his jacket to wear and it hung off of your shoulders as you got up out of the car. It had provided you some warmth, but your shivering wasn't going to resolve itself if you didn't change into some dry clothes.

As you walked from the parking lot into the lobby of your apartment, you saw Levi pass you your phone, having completely forgotten that you tossed it to the backseat of the car after blocking Zack. You mumbled a quiet thanks as you put it into your pocket.

The two of you walked into your apartment and you noticed that literally nothing had been moved since earlier in the afternoon. All the stuff you were unpacking was left in place, despite the fact that the mess was likely driving Levi through the roof. You gripped on his jacket, an uncomfortable bubbling feeling rising up within you. It was just another inconvenience that you unintentionally threw onto him.

He flipped on the light switch, allowing you to properly see the mess that you had made. However, within the next 30 seconds, a crash of lightning lit up the room before all of the lights fell dark.

The power went out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Levi groaned as he tossed his keys onto the table.

The night couldn't get much worse.

~~~~~

You let out an exhausted sigh as you slid down the wall across the hall from Levi. The two of you gathered next to the balcony doors for what little light peaked in through the blinds. It seemed that the power only went out for your apartment building and the street lights were still functional. There was a small candle lit in between the two of you.

You had stumbled into your room and changed into a hoodie and a pair of loose pajama shorts. You had your hands tucked into your hoodie pocket as you looked over towards Levi with a blank expression, unsure of how to process the events of the day.

He was sitting with his back leaning against the wall with his legs out in front of him as he matched your expression. The two of you were quiet for a bit, simply listening to the rain.

The entire room lit up as another flash of lightning cracked through the sky.

You felt yourself flinch and tense up at the sudden sound. You weren't particularly afraid of storms, but you were significantly on edge due to the events of the day. Every sudden movement or sound made your heart skip a beat. Your mind was on overdrive.

"How was your break?" Levi asked. He had noticed your reactions to the storm. Initiating conversation, no matter how frustrated he was at you currently, would at least provide you with a distraction.

You gave him a weird look before freezing up again due to another lightning crash. You rapidly shook your head to try to shake off the tension.

"It was okay," you finally replied. "Traveling was more annoying than the trip was enjoyable—honestly kinda wish I just stayed here."

Levi grunted at that last comment without acknowledging or dismissing it, which made you frown.

"Which I guess would've ruined your break. I assume you just spent the entire break reading and writing?"

"Something like that," he mumbled.

In all honesty, he probably would have also preferred it if you had stayed for break.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, resting your chin on them. No matter how much you tried, you couldn't get the events of the day out of your head.

"Lev', can I ask you something?"

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you really didn't mind coming out, then why were you so pissed off?"

He blinked at you, not really expecting the question to be brought up again.

"I already told you."

"I don't believe you," you said with a frown. There had to be more. What he said and what he did was too contradictory for you to just accept without getting more information.

Levi gave you an annoyed scowl and clenched his jaw. After a moment, he parted his lips to speak again.

"Why did you go back to him?"

"What?" you asked, not expecting him to deflect your question with another question.

Levi looked you straight in the eye. He couldn't wrap his head around why you would've ever been involved with someone like Zack. A few months ago, he wouldn't give a single shit, but now that he's had a few months of knowing you, he legitimately could not understand why.

"Answer the question."

"Answer mine first," you immediately responded.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Because you're always putting yourself in these shitty situations, _____," he said in an exasperated tone. "First, there was the thing with Floche, and now this. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to pick you up from somewhere and that's not even counting when I had to drive around the fucking city looking for you when you went out."

You fell silent, hugging your knees a bit tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a shitshow, Levi," you mumbled. "That shouldn't have to fall on you."

"Tch," Levi's eyebrows scrunched together into a frown. "Didn't I tell you to cut that shit out?"

"Cut what out?"

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he leaned forward and gently flicked your forehead. "That's not what made me mad."

A pout appeared on your face as you rubbed at your forehead, although you finally began to understand what it was that he was trying to say. He was pissed that you kept finding yourself in these situations, but he never thought it was because you couldn't take care of yourself. You were more than capable of it, which is why he's pissed that you still found yourself in those situations.

"Your turn," he said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"What?"

"I answered your question," he nodded towards you, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Now you answer mine. Why did you go back to him?"

You looked down, away from him as you contemplated what it was that you wanted to say in response.

Levi could tell that the topic was another sore spot. You had reacted similarly during Halloween when Hange brought up the topic of your parents.

"He..." you started speaking before trailing off.

"He what?"

You buried your face in your knees, clenching your fists as you pulled up those turbulent memories. You were more emotionally vulnerable than ever.

"He made me feel good about myself when nothing else would," you said, your voice muffled. "My parents had just died, my friendships at school were falling apart because I couldn't keep my shit together, and he just gave me whatever I wanted as long as..."

You trailed off again before lifting yourself back up and looking towards Levi, without really making eye contact.

"...as long as I gave him what he wanted, too. As long as I just shut up and listened to him, as long as I wore the clothes he wanted me to wear and presented myself the way he wanted me to present."

You recalled that Zack didn't even really let you hang out with anyone outside of school when you were dating, which heavily contributed to why you were so confused about navigating everything on your own now.

Upon noticing Levi's lack of a response, you buried your face in your knees again as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up again from the tears building up.

"You probably think I'm pathetic, don't you?" you mumbled as your voice began to break up. The last thing you wanted to do was to start crying again, but the events of the day only added to any pre-existing thoughts of self-doubt and shame.

"Stupid? Yes," Levi began to speak. "Reckless? Yes. But pathetic?"

He paused as you looked up at him again.

"No, I don't."

You gave him a slight nod as you used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away any stray tears that were threatening to fall.

"You don't need that douchebag's approval—or anyone's approval, actually—to be worthy of love and respect, _____."

You felt your cheeks immediately begin to flush up at his statement. You were also able to see out of the corner of your eye that Levi began to awkwardly shuffle in place, as if he just realized what he had said.

"So quit pitying yourself like that. You're valued more than you think you are."

You pressed your chin into your knees and wrapped your arms around your knees in a way that hid your cheeks that were rapidly heating up. You've felt nothing but guilt and turmoil the entire night, but his comment made something else pop up deep within you. You didn't know how to describe it. You didn't know if it felt good or bad, but there was something there.

Levi watched as you struggled to navigate your own reaction to his comment. He tapped his finger against his leg as he held his hands in his pockets. He'd be lying if he said that there weren't also confusing feelings that were arising within him as well. He remembered pulling up to Zack's apartment and feeling slightly distressed upon seeing you with Zack—maybe even a little jealous, although he would never readily admit to that—before feeling incredibly panicked as soon as he saw Zack grab you.

He could no longer deny that you were not the shallow undergrad that he thought you were when he first met you in June. You weren't just a student dredging their way through college. Life had thrown misfortunes at you left and right and you were forced to try to navigate through that on your own. There was more to you than you had ever let on.

"Just promise me something," he finally said, waiting for you to look up at him. "Just, try not to get yourself into those situations again."

You looked down again, wondering if his intention was to tell you that he didn't have time to help you anymore when the time came to it. However, he didn't give you much of a chance to dwell on that thought.

"It'd be a shame for me to see something happen to you."

You immediately felt your cheeks flare up again. It was clear that he cared at least to some extent and that itself was enough to get you to question everything around you, including the nature of your relationship with him.

"Storm's over," Levi mumbled as he began to stand up. As he was pushing himself up off the ground, the lights flickered back on.

He held his hand out towards you and helped you get up off the ground.

"Go take a shower and get warm since you decided to casually run off into the rain earlier," he said, motioning towards the bathroom, letting go of your hand. "You were a pain in the ass the last time you got sick."

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main @levishotgf @nube55 @chosos-mascara @heichoucleanfreak @svftackerman @alexkibutsuji

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #modern!au levi #coffeeshop!au levi #college!au levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #snk #levi fanfiction #fics: matcha

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conkers-thecosy · 6 months

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Hullo!

So, this might be long, but I wanted to write a proper wee writing update. I have my fingers in a few pies and as October is coming to an end, and thus "Bagginshield-tober" with it, I thought it might be nice to let folks know what my plans are as far as projects go!

I've got three chapters left to write for "Stealing Moments, Moments Away" - I've decided not to do the prompt for Sunday, so this weekend I'm going to park my butt in my desk chair and write those last few chapters. I'm out on Tuesday (my friend is doing a drag show, so I'll be at work all day, then going out for dinner and drinks right after) so I won't have time to update the final chapter on Tuesday. I'm thinking of updating Monday's chapter on Sunday, and Tuesday's on Monday, but we'll see!

Once that's done, I'm going to take a few days off! I wouldn't usually, but I've had such a busy month and I got a bit burned out there for a bit, so I think I need to start scheduling breaks for myself. Next weekend I'll get cracking on "Backs to the Wall" and hopefully get back to weekly chapter updates with that once again!

Now, I know folks were waiting for me to start "King" in November (because that was the original plan!) but if October has taught me anything, it's that I can't work on multiple projects, haha 😅 I had meant to do NaNoWriMo and work on it for that, but honestly? I got so stressed when I was writing "Poet" for Camp NaNo and it's actually the fic I'm least proud of in my whole collection. I've worked so hard on the series, I really want to do the finale justice!

I do feel bad because I know folks are waiting for this one, but I'm going to focus on "Backs to the Wall" first, then write the smutty one-shot set directly after "Poet" and then work on "King". I really hope no one is too disappointed, as it's likely that I won't make a start on it until the new year now - please forgive me! 🙏

After that I have another canon-verse one-shot that I've been toying with since day dot, and then I might branch out into some AU ideas. But that's a ways off yet!

I know this is a bit of a long post, and honestly I don't know how much anyone will be interested in any of this, but I just wanted to document it somewhere for anyone who might be wondering what I'm up to! I wouldn't want to leave anyone hanging, especially after changing plans with regards to what I'm working on in November.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting and showing any kind of interest in my little fics! I mean to keep scribbling out my silly bagginshield nonsense for a good while yet, so your enthusiasm keeps me going!

Ily guys! 💛

#conkers corner #writing update #soldier poet king series #backs to the wall #bttw #bagginshieldtober #bagginshield-tober #stealing moments moments away #oh dear.... now I have to decide if I tag this as bagginshield?#I don't usually... I don't want to be annoying?#I'm sure anyone who's interested is already following me. so?#sorry for waffling on #I hope this isn't too boring haha

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anukulee · 5 months

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To My Dearest Maddie (Loki Love Letter)

Dedicated to @holdmytesseract

youtube

Dearest Maddie,

To my dearest love, the life I have been leading thus far was such a waste before you. I thought I knew love when I met Sylvie initially, but you have shown me how wrong I was. What I had with Sylvie wasn't what love should be, for she has broken my heart time after time again. Yet rather than listen to those around me such as you and even Mobius I blazed forward content in letting her use me, as she pleased. Yet the moment she dragged your name into the mud, I could no longer stand her cruel words. I know she wasn't in the utmost headspace, but hearing her disregard you, and even Mobius was something I couldn't stand to hear. For I know there are voices within your head fighting and tearing you about. Believe me my dearest I know them far too well, for those voices haunted my own mind back in Asgard. For every day under the cruel reign of the man I once called my father, was another day those voices came back. Only in the company of my mother Frigga and occasionally brother Thor (don't tell him, I said that) did I feel that I merely belonged. Yet upon meeting you, and even Mobius things have changed. Hearing your silky voice greet me each day, is one such thing I cherish. Through your laughter is second to none, how I wish I could hear you laugh far more. Even to see you bake those treats of yours over and over brings me the utmost joy. I long for the day I can truly proclaim my feelings to you, without the use of writing, but alas I may not be as silver-tongued as I thought. And I am sorry for that my love, for you deserve someone shouting they love you from the rooftops. But for now, I hope this will be acceptable. Of my utter devotion to you, if so will you please be min skatt, until the end of time? Hopelessly Yours, Loki Friggason

If any of you need any get help of your own, feel free to message me what Tom Hiddleston variant you wish.

@aesonmae @asgards-princess-of-mischief @mochie85 @michelleleewise @mcufan72 @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @smolvenger @wheredafandomat @peacefulpianist @november-rayne @five-miles-over @lotsoflokilove23 @lady-rose-moon @lokisbirdofhermes @lokisprettygirl @jennyggggrrr @liminalpebble

@skymoonandstardust @lokischambermaid @chantsdemarins

@the--sad--hatter @xorpsbane @villainousshakespeare @immyowndefender @eleniblue @gigglingtiggerv2

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talesfrommedinastation · 4 months

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2023: Writing, Art, and Medication

So, I need to preface this by admitting something.

January 2023 was when I started taking Wellbutrin. I have MDD and severe hypotension (low blood pressure).

Imagine rediscovering a favorite toy, game, or book that you've forgotten about. You find it, dust it off, and get lost in it again. And my, it is magical. You're so happy, you're giddy, you make up things to do to get further into it.

This isn't about me rediscovering fandom, or Star Wars. It's about re-discovering my emotions and my creativity. Because of medication.

I used to devour fantasy and sci-fi for fun. I wrote most of a series of silly novels in middle and high school. They were never published and put aside for academic or paid work. MDD crept up and strangled it, too.

Finally, I'm a working parent and spouse, and if it didn't have a spot on my CV or gave me money for completion, it wasn't going to get done.

Wellbutrin said fuck that noise, let's get CREATIVE. Let's have FUN FOR ONCE.

And low and behold, I start watching Star Wars cartoons with my youngest daughter in January 2023. She saw Tech on the screen with no helmet, screamed 'Dada!' and that's how I got yanked into The Bad Batch.

After watching two episodes with her, I wondered what it would be like if Tech met someone from The Expanse, maybe a female pilot. They'd chat, maybe hook up, and move on with their lives.

Wellbutrin also said fuck that noise, you wrote a dissertation and have multiple articles and short stories published, why not combine the two?

Wellbutrin also said you work in science communication, why not explore physics and biology from both angles?

And, while you're at it, why not have Tech and the Belter have a deeper relationship? What if they had a kid? What would happen to them, physically? Would the Empire view them as property? Would they be seen as a Belter? What are the cultural ramifications of this?

I didn't write an OC to fantasize about being with a fictional character: I wrote her, and even more OCs in the extended universe, to better understand both the worlds of The Expanse and Star Wars. It has been so, so, so fucking joyful to do so.

The longfic, which probably needs no introduction at this point, is Far Past the Ring. It was started in early February, began to be published in April, and finished in November. It is the length of a novel and thus, the most work came out of it. Most of my artwork is centered around it as well.

The art can be found here, but of all the pieces I myself have composed, I think the favorite is the one below. It was one of the first things I ever decided regarding their relationship...that something considered deviant, even on a natborn (receding hairline), is seen as personal, quirky, and wonderful.

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the expanse #theexpanse #the bad batch #belter #fanfiction #starwarsfanfiction #tech #tech x oc #belter oc #belters #beltalowda #clone force 99 #2023 #2023 recap #end of year #2023 wrapped

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horizon-verizon · 4 months

Note

TWOIAF says that Rhaenyra gave birth to Daeron “In the last days of 120 AC” so 31st of december. would take make him a “bastard”? were daemon and rhaenyra already married in march of that year?

I wrote about Aegon III's birth (who I think you meant) and the timeline HERE. And the following was the calendar-"chart" I made for people to track the critical events around Aegon's birth:

Answer to the question:

Anon, you are wonderful! Before, I forgot abt AWoIaF, but your input has made dating Rhaenyra and Daemon's "affair"-to-conception-of-Aegon III easier. As in my chart-calendar above, all I had were approximations because in F&B they do not actually give exact month/day dates for anything but Laena's death. Aegon could have been born anywhere in the last 2-3 according to F&B, but now we know that yes he'd be born around whatever counts as "December" in Westeros. F& B says: "And thus that dreadful year 120 AC ended as it begun, with a woman laboring in childbirth." which I took as it being a "late November" to "late December". But AWoIaF's "the last days of 120 AC" is much clearer. Or maybe this was the case of a different translation of word senses between me and others?

So again, update!!!:

Aegon was born in the very last few days of 120 A.C., so "December". ("In the last days of 120 AC, she even delivered to him his first son, whom she named Aegon")

Laena dies in the first few days of 120 A.C. ("January")

A healthy, safe pregnancy takes 8-9 months of gestation. Aegon came with no complications or worry--so far that is told in either book.

9 months from "December" is "March"; 8 months is "April".

Daemyra married 4-6 months after both their lovers/spouses died. ("Neither Daemon’s wife nor Rhaenyra’s husband had been dead even half a year [6 months]; to wed again so soon was an insult to their memories, His Grace declared angrily."). It's still approximate.

Laenor must have died 4-6 months after Laena.

So Daemyra had to have started sleeping with each other at most 3 months after Laena died or at least 2 months after she died--if not immediately after (perhaps they were even sleeping w/each other while she was alive and that comes with a host of theories of how that would have looked)--and Harwin nor Laenor were dead yet.

THIS IS YOUR ANSWER, ANON. They would HAVE to have been married in the 4th or 5th or 6th months ("April", "May", "June"). They were NOT married in "March"--the use of TWoIaF lets me know the tea!

However...

There is both the difference b/t a conception versus a birth. Births are when children are pushed out the womb and become what we know as the "infant", who will grow into an adult, yada yada. Conception is when we got a fertilized egg/zygote about to develop into a fetus.

Pre-modern medicine knew little to nothing about zygotes nor how to detect them. They have known for millennia, though, that at some point a child begins to grow from the "hidden" womb/woman's body and it is that pregnancy is a vulnerable time for both mother and fetus/child, a delicate process. Medievalesque people like those living in Planetos without the tools or knowledge to detect embryos cannot prove who the father of a child already born is when that question comes up, they are going to be even less able to detect who their dad is before they are born. This is why they place so much importance on girls but especially noble girls and women staying "pure" or "chaste" so they can feel assured and feel that whatever child they carry and birth to will be their husband's, who has a two-fold stake in. It's not a positive test, but a negative one: it's not about detection so much as about removing/whittling down the possible sperm donors to no one but the husband.

This means that any and all fetuses conceived before their parents marry--and if their parents do get married before well before the woman becomes that noticeable or anyone important sees her the birth--will largely be NOT be counted as bastards.

This is another way bastardry reveals itself as nonreal. As a "natural" concept of identity. As a construction based on the happenstance of human behavior, decision, and manipulation, rather than nature.

Of course, the Westerosi would believe that an embryo (if they knew what that was or could trace the moment of conception way before the mom started to show) of an unmarried union would be a bastard. But let's ask ourselves how many people might have sex before marriage, conceive, and then decide to marry bc: one of them wishes to preserve their reputation (usually the woman); they wish to reap whatever benefits come from such a marriage; and/or because they do not want to bring a more apparent "bastard" into the world for them to suffer. I mean, how many peasant births would follow such a pattern versus the opposite? And for bastardry to be a true, natural thing of itself, we absolutely need to count peasant sex-marriage-birth-conception patterns, too, not just the nobles, bc "naturalness" explicitly & implicitly signifies "outside of large-human control", or something that occurs without human direction, intervention, manipulation AND nonetheless affecting them simultaneously. Like how plants using chloroform in their method of producing energy, that level of "naturalness".

Marriage then works as a tool to prevent both of these things. Whether or not the people loved each other. In real life, the Church wanted and proliferated the idea that people should marry through the idea of uno caro, or "one heart", where worshippers/those of the Catholic community (which is all worshippers) join themselves to each other in marriages to essentially give respect to God. Thus marriage is characterized as a sacred institution. And it was believed that sex was not only existed for reproduction alone, the accompanying pleasure was indicative of sex's "wrongness". Bc as one of God's worshippers you're not supposed to focus so much on bodily, earthly, carnal things or think them so "good" that it "distracts" you from God and "high", spiritual matters. Or prostrating yourself to God's will.

Therefore, anon, it really doesn't matter whether Aegon was conceived before or after the wedding ceremony. Since he's birthed after they marry & no one in-world found out about Daemyra's sexual pre-marital activities nor has publicized it, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter at all if he was or isn't a "true" bastard when such a thing doesn't exist as natural.

#asoiaf asks to me #aegon iii #daemyra #westerosi bastards #westerosi society

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aimportantdragoncollector · 6 months

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Three Weeks of Trioholders Announcement

Everyone, thank you for all your wonderful Three Weeks of Trioholders entries so far. In honor of all the duo holders fuel in My Hero Academia chapters 406 and 407, I have decided to host a bonus round to this contest. I still intend to announce the first and second place winners shortly after the contest ends on Sunday November 19, 2023. However, from Monday November 21 to Sunday November 26, 2023, I will be accepting additional entries that will be eligible to win honorable mentions.

My reasoning is thus: I've heard from multiple people struggling to finish in time. Also, I want to give people time to incorporate the new reveals in the latest manga chapters into their fics and art. I've been delighted to see how the leaks have produced more content. However I don't want to make the people who submitted early wait too long, and I'd also like to get started on writing the prizes over my own Thanksgiving break. Thus, instead of just extending the contest, I'm having a bonus round for one extra week.

Additional information:

1. If you submit in the bonus round then you will be eligible to win an honorable mention, but not first or second place. This still gives people incentive to work hard on their entries over the weekend and submit by Sunday if possible.

2. Like in the first round, honorable mentions winners can send me a prompt and I will write a snippet for it. (Although knowing me, my snippets tend to get long. Let's say at least a snippet.)

3. You will submit to the bonus round the same way you submitted to the contest. The rules are all the same, see the event announcement for Three Weeks of Trioholders.

4. I'm not picky about time zones. You can just go based off your own time zone if you want. I will be using UTC-12 (the very last place in the world where it will turn into midnight on Sunday) as the cut-off between the main contest and the bonus round. Also midnight in UTC-12 will be the very final deadline for accepting bonus entries on Sunday November 26, 2023.

5. You may still submit to the bonus round if you submitted an entry to the main contest. More entries will increase your odds in the random draw. I will allow you to win more than once if I draw your name randomly.

Please send me an ask if you have any questions.

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sparkedblaze · 25 days

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Back on My Bullshit

here comes sparky yakkin bout things nobody cares about again

but ykw?

i wanna yak abt the rats/affec

and also its been too long since i've talked about the newsies on here so

also yall this is all taking generic zodiac traits so if yall could not take these personally thatd be p fuckin awesome.

happy birthday @iwasbored12!!! as your gift here are my thoughts on your boy's zodiac sign/birthday

Tenpin is absolutely a scorpio. Passionate to the point of being controlling, persistent, secretive, vengeful, loyal, fearless, curious. Being honest to the point of brutality, no matter the recipient. Confidence, arrogance, question askers that have definitely been fought for asking said questions. Scorpios equate money with power and status, and they want those things desperately. Def a November birthday. Probably rlly early. The 1st or 2nd.

Crutchie is a capricorn. Patient, persevering, dedicated to the cause. Critical of some, suspicious of others. They find it hard to trust because of how much they've been let down in life. They have a lot of discipline and self-control. They're used to making their own way through life, and have a hard time depending on and trusting people. They hold everyone (including themselves) to unattainable standards, and get frustrated when people don't meet them. They learn from mistakes, and use what they learn to thrive. January 13

Sarah. If I say cancer? Compassionate and loving. Seeking security in a world that isn't kind to people, being that guiding light for people lost in the dark. Cancers will go to any lengths to defend the people they care about. They forgive but never forget. They are firm in boundaries they set. They take on others' problems to a crippling extent. Cancers are protectors, and there's nothing that can stop a cancer who has been wronged (especially if that wrong was done to a loved one). July 8... (or... @noxexistant @i-didnt-do-1t if i say morris and sarah sharing a birthday?)

please toss some requests in my ask box if youd like

thus far i have done:

jack, davey, racer, spot, albert, les

elmer, specs, oscar, morris, katherine

splasher, medda

kid blink

on my to do list:

skittery, boots

#birdy i'm sorry i didn't do skittery and boots but i'm so eeby and am currently fighting for my life trying to stay awake #they will be done tomorrow #i wanted to get the lil tidbit about tenpin up for dollys birthday #happy birthday dolly #newsies #livesies #92sies #uksies #tenpin newsies #crutchie morris #crutchie newsies #crutchy morris #crutchy newsies #sarah jacobs #sarah newsies #newsies zodiacs

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slightlyhopefulromantic · 9 months

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Monsters and Mommies AU Masterpost

What is Monsters and Mommies?: Monsters and Mommies, usually shortened to MnMoms, is an alternate universe to the podcast Dungeons and Daddies where rather than the dads traveling to the Forgotten Realms with their kids, the moms are in the Odyssey instead! More important, it is my baby ♡. This is not a unique AU and other fans have similar AUs with the same name. I did not come first and will never pretend to. But everything on this post and in my tags is my own invention (besides some additions from friends and followers :] ). In my version of this AU, I follow canon pretty closely, but there are some significant differences, mostly regarding the Freeman family and the Oak-Garcias. You're always free to ask for clarification and no worries about asking questions that have been asked before, I love to repeat myself - but you might be able to find your answer on this post first!

General links:

Art (this account)

Writing (AO3)

Etc. (a mix of both of the above on my main account, as well as headcanons, random thoughts, funny posts that remind me of the au, y'know - etc!)

Exhaustive list of every single post and fic there is (Last updated: November 4th, 2023):

Going to organize this by mom, since I think that makes sense with how I've done things so far. This list will not include funny posts I tag as MnMoms or with MnMoms characters, but will include funny posts I make myself. When (if) I ever start writing out the actual story, I will have that up top in chronological order, and then have all of the additional material in order below that!

The story thus far... would go here if I had written it.

Multi-character/group posts

Monsters and Mommies cover art (and the in-progress sketches!)

Design sheets (with children) (and original sketches!)

The moms' relationships with their kids

The moms' relationships with their own moms

Odyssey-San info

Abeloth fight

The mummy ride

Cern.

Morgan and Carol's weapons

Samantha and Morgan sketch

Cereal's MnMoms sketches (secret drawing box drawings that I love sooo so much and they're so cute and I love Cereal and-!)

MnMoms playlist (not organized or very coherent)

Morgan Freeman (no, not that one!), the prepper and ranger mom of the group.

Morgan and Nick's relationship

Does Glenn die instead of Morgan in this?

The trial 1 (first post for this AU!)

The trial 2 (focused more on Jodie and his relationship to Morgan)

Where is Glenn post-trial?

Morgan and Samantha's relationship

Morgan first re-meeting Glenn (WIP)

Actually fun/non-depressing Morgan facts

Swarmkeeper Morgan doodles

More swarmkeeper Morgan doodles

Assorted Morgan doodles

Freeman family playlist

Carol Wilson, the workaholic business mom who becomes a fighter upon entering the Forgotten Realms.

Carol's sexuality journey

Mercedes Oak-Garcia, the Birkenstock-rockin', granola-munching, hippy-dippy artsy nature Bard mom.

Mercedes and Lark sketch, plus Mercedes/Morgan dynamic

Mercedes and Sparrow

Mercedes moodboard

Mercedes and Oakvale

Oak-Garcia family playlist

Samantha Stampler, the totally and completely emotionally available mother and a cleric.

General ramble about Samantha in this AU

Samantha's reaction to Willy's reveal

Sons + Sparrow

Sparrow and her gayboy besties (Grant and Nicholas)

Sparrow illustration ("Favorite Daughter")

Does Terry Junior still hate Ron?

Nicky's relationships with the other kids

Sparrow and Nicholas sketches, Sparrow and Lark sketches

s02e06 (non-canon)

Shipping Posts

Post-Season 1 polycule chart

Mercarol (Mercedes/Carol) version of the Episode 1 Oakson kiss

Mercarol sketches

Carol/Samantha sketches

Mercedes/Samantha sketches

More Mercedes/Samantha sketches

Polymoms request (Carol/Samantha/Mercedes)

Morgan/Jodie flash fic

Morgan/Jodie doodles

Polymoms playlist

#monsters and mommies au

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devsgames · 5 months

Note

how hard was it to set up stuff regarding economical/legal side of things for gamedev? (regirestering a company, register trademark, recieve income from steam, pay taxes, etc) i know that its country specific but i would want to hear your side of things

You're right in that it's incredibly specific to your location! I'll go over what I've had to do thus far for specifically living in Ontario, Canada; A lot of how I've gained the following insight has been from thorough Googling, looking on government resources and asking people.

Setting Up A Business

Here in Ontario we have generous small business laws, anyone making money from their own business is by default considered a "Sole Proprietorship". Normally businesses need to charge tax based on every Good or Service sold, however Sole Proprietorships don't need to do this until they reach $30k yearly profits in Ontario.

Currently I'm making maybe 5k a year from my games so I'm safe, and thus technically don't even need to register a business. The tradeoff however is that I'm legally and financially responsible for my own business, so if something happens financially or legally it's my own personal risk and not the business's.

There's a few business types here with different meanings (Partnership, LLC, Co-op, etc). Technically I should register one at some point but since it's just me and I'm broke it won't do much. To register a business in Canada isn't hard (I think it's basically just a 30 minute phone call where they give you a 'business number' for registeration and tax use and say "congrats you're a business now!). You have to come up with a unique business name which I've consistently floundered back and forth on and have never stuck to anything which is why "Dev's Games" is the best "brand" I have at the moment. Good thing I'm not registered yet!

Registering a Trademark

This also depends on your location, and I have never done this. I'm sure in many cases there is reason to if I really cared about exclusively using titles or names of things, but I honestly don't.

I also genuinely don't thinm not having a trademark as a problem! Trademarks strike me as useful for a company trying to build a big business around a name that is aleeady popular and ripe for idea theft (E.g Photoshop, Google, Adobe) and stopping others from using it. Right now, I'm so small that this doesn't matter, and I'd honestly consider someone drawing inspiration from me an honor as opposed to something I'd want to contain. Maybe if one of my titles got like SUPER viral down the road I'd seriously look into it; apparently it's a lot of paperwork and something you'd have to find a lawyer for.

Getting Payments

This is, you guessed it, just paperwork that depends on your operating location!

Established storefronts like Steam have a process for registering your account with them and when I started out this was the part of the process I was the most anxious for, but it's actually super easy (which is why there's so much shovelware on there). Steam as a baseline takes 30% of all your sales on the platform (an absolutely insane amount for what the platform does). You'll fill out some paperwork and based on your operating location to determine how much money Steam automatically sets aside for taxes (VST).

As a Canadian they take 0% because Canada-America has tax exemption treaties which make receiving payments from American companies like this tax-free.

Outside of that there's not much, you give them your bank account number and they send payments one month after month end (e.g. end of December they'll pay you for November's sales). Everything is in USD so be prepared for things to be a bit wonky in that respect, and note it costs $100 USD to add a game to Steam. Setting up store pages for your games is its own kind of busywork I won't get into here, but publishing to Steam on the whole is much more work than something like Itch.io.

All in all I like Steam's process for registering and they make it pretty easy to get onto the platform since it's in their interest to potentially make fat money off of your work for doing very little :)

Managing Income

I struggle with anxiety around finances so this part is long.

I set up my own bank account explicitly for earning/spending on my games - prior to getting laid off I only used it for that, but recently I've been having to pay rent from it now too sometimes.

Get a platform that allows you to track and categorize your expenses and income over time. I've been using Wave to balance my income and expenses, as I find it's pretty simple for my needs and lets me mark what different payments are to avoid losing secret money to things I forget about. It connects directly to your bank account, so it will be the most accurate form of income tracking.

Eventually you will buy things and forget what you bought, or receive money for something you're not sure why, or lose/receive money months after you should have. Steam and Itchio have ways of viewing your payouts and reports, but it's hard jumping through 2-3 websites trying to track down a magic number - viewing this all in one place is invaluable to your sanity and making sure you don't go broke. Having this will be a godsend to you during tax time.

Always have additional "rainy day" money set aside - when I started I put about $100 aside from each paycheque at my full time job into my business. Keep an eye on your income flow and know how much you can anticipate to spend on your work. Know how your business money relates to your personal finances and be ready to take money out of your business for emergencies, and vice versa for business emergencies. Money put aside to pay contractors is money you cannot and should not touch.

Contractors based in the US will often ask you pay them through a certain site, many of which aren't available outside the US. Don't be afraid to ask if they use something like Paypal instead. Keep extra money aside for them so you can tip. Make sure you're aware of how they expect to be paid, at what interval, and how much, and keep that money aside. And expense tracker is also helpful here.

Keep in mind most businesses operate on USD, and be mindful of how your local currency converts over. CDN is usually ~60-70% of USD, so I often have to pay more for things like subscriptions or labour then they're listed. When a contractor tells you their rates always be sure you know what currency they're talking about - sometimes I've expected to pay USD when I've had to pay AUS.

Also do not quit your dayjob. Make money through a stable employment and fund your games as a fun side hobby. Easier said than done, but there is an almost 0% chance you will be able to afford surviving off of making indie games as a full living and be afford to keep a roof over your head. I've shipped 4 games on Steam now and I only make about $100-$300 USD from sales there depending on the month. Minimum wage in Ontario is ~$25k a year, I am currently making like $5k from sales on Steam alone. Working at McDonalds would pay better.

Taxes

Taxes are very regional, so results will vary.

Usually businesses have to set aside sales taxes on goods sold. Since I'm a Sole Proprietorship in Ontario making less than 30k I don't have to. Taxes for me basically consists of saying "I made this much" to the government (good expense tracking REALLY helps here).

One thing to note is that at least here the government has NO IDEA how video games fit into business. Until recently there was no "Game Development" business type, and much of the tax reporting interface is obsessed with physical goods; it'll ask how much your "inventory" is worth, how many "goods" you have sold (games are technically "goods" even though they're not a physical thing). Basically be prepared for your tax system to be used to dealing with physical retailers and farmers, and not with digital-only software developers.

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I'm sure there's more I can cover but my hands hurt. A lot of this is researching your local laws and/or talking to devs local to your area. It's not hard to do any of this necessarily, it's just a lot of paperwork (which is nevertheless super helpful to put together). Once you learn how it all works everything is way less scary though! :)

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