#that pulls out the growing up themes from the series and examines them
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Once, Always
(Edmund has an abundance of birthdays)
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“I say,” murmured Edmund sleepily as the fire burned low. “When do you suppose it is here? I mean—what time of year? Do you think it’s the beginning of September, the same as it was in England?”
“Summer,” said Lucy. “Certainly summer.”
Peter agreed. “I think it must be Highgrass, if I had to guess. Perhaps later. Greenroof?”
“If it’s Greenroof, then Edmund gets another birthday,” Lucy sighed. “Eleven or twelve, Ed?”
“Neither,” put in Susan. “A thousand, if you’re going to rationalize it that way. Now everyone hush, please, and get some sleep.”
.
Edmund’s birthday was the fifteenth day of Greenroof by the Narnian reckoning. Greenroof, late summer, when all the leaves were dark and broad. Narnian summers were long, but Greenroof was the last and best of the summer months. Greenroof was hunts through the dense foliage, blackberries heavy with juice, lazy afternoons, bonfires, wild romps, and the pleasant kind of sweat. Edmund’s birthday celebrations were always held on Dancing Lawn in the old days: the sort of long, laughter-bright nights that summer was made for.
.
The second time Edmund celebrated his eleventh birthday, it was just past three months since he and his siblings had returned home from the country. Their house was glass-strewn and battered, but still standing when they arrived home. By August it was beginning to feel really safe again, but sometimes Edmund still woke in the night to find his mother standing silent in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her two sons returned to her.
The professor sent one of Ivy’s famous spice cakes for Edmund’s birthday. It arrived tied in red string, which made Lucy reminisce fondly about dear Mr. Tumnus. Edmund’s siblings pooled their allowances to buy him the new Nero Wolfe detective novel, and his mother gave him a new cap and an electric torch.
“How do you feel?” his mother asked over dinner.
“I don’t feel any older, if that’s what you mean,” he said. “Eleven feels just the same as ten did yesterday.”
.
All four of them missed their birthdays the first year in Narnia. Too much else was going on at the time, and none of them was quite sure when their birthdays were supposed to be besides. The measurement of time was a thoroughly tangled issue.
The Narnian year had four hundred days even, divided into fourteen months of inconsistent lengths. Furthermore, the kingdom had only known winter for the last hundred years. The Narnians themselves were still remembering how the calendar worked in a world where the seasons changed. They didn’t have the words yet to explain it to their sovereigns.
.
“Eustace,” said Edmund, “your journal is wrong.”
“Give me that,” Eustace scowled at once. “I know it’s wrong, but there’s no need to rub my face in it. Aren’t I trying to make up for how I was?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. The month is wrong. You’ve got September written here, but time works differently in Narnia than it does in the Other Place. Haven’t you noticed that it’s summer, not autumn?”
“Oh.” Eustace shrugged. “I followed Occam’s Razor and assumed that the climate here was different rather than time itself.”
“Occam’s what?” This was Lucy.
“Occam’s Razor: the simplest solution to a problem is the most likely—never mind. Well, go on, what month is it?”
“Highgrass,” said Lucy.
“July,” said Edmund at the same moment. “More or less.”
.
They worked it all out one afternoon as the second spring of their reign was ending. Peter and Susan wrote out the English calendar on one stack of parchment while Edmund and Lucy sat down with the Narnian calendar and penciled in seasonal markers as best they could manage.
“The first crocuses came up right at the end of Cleardome, yes?”
“Yes, I think so. And the snowdrops were in their full glory that month too.”
“How do you want to deal with leap year?”
“Just forget about it. Narnia doesn’t have anything similar, so I think twenty-eight days for February is fine for our purposes.”
“Magnolia in Laceveil, yes?”
“Laceveil is a good marker in general. We ought to set that as May and go from there.”
Birthdays were guesses, no matter how much counting they did. Yet as memories of England receded and Narnia’s world blossomed into everything they knew, those guesses solidified into fact. Edmund turned eleven for the first time on the fifteenth day of Greenroof. He was the first of his siblings to celebrate a proper birthday in Narnia.
.
The fourth time Edmund turned twelve, he received another electric torch to replace the one he’d lost. He laughed for half a minute, holding that gift in his hand.
“Really, you should have expected it,” said Susan primly.
"I did."
Their mother tsked and added something about keeping track of one’s belongings, but that was alright. His siblings understood.
Edmund flicked on the light and watched the beam land on the far wall across the living room. Bright at the edges and dark towards the center where the bulb was. He moved his wrist sideways and watched the spot of light follow.
.
Edmund might have forgotten about his birthday aboard the Dawn Treader if Lucy hadn’t remembered. She conspired with the cook to have a spread of Edmund’s favorite foods at supper (such as could be managed at sea) and coerced Rynelf into playing jigs on his fiddle afterwards. While they were dancing, Caspian called for a cask of his best wine, and soon the ship’s whole company was making merry like only Narnians could.
“Didn’t you have a twelfth birthday the last time you were in Narnia?” Caspian asked curiously as the party was dying down.
“Yes,” Edmund replied, “and the time before that too. Confused yet?”
“Ed has all the luck,” Lucy pouted playfully. “We always seem to return to Narnia in the summer, so he gets all the extra birthdays.”
Caspian's face lit up. “How extraordinary! When’s yours then?”
“Cleardome. There’s a year and a half between Ed and me, and he never lets me forget it.”
“It’s really not as exciting as all that,” Edmund added. “We’re not living our lives backwards, or unstuck in time, or any such nonsense. It’s more like—our lives are folded in on themselves, you see? But never the same way twice.”
“I think it’s more like music than anything else,” Lucy said, a kind of fond wistfulness in her voice.
“Yes,” said Edmund. “I know what you mean.”
.
On the thirteenth of Greenroof, the Telmarines laid down their arms and surrendered to Old Narnia. The next day, messengers were sent forth across the land with news of the surrender and with terms for the Telmarines. Caspian’s coronation followed, and then Edmund woke and it was his birthday again.
Breakfast that morning was long and languid, for Peter and Susan knew that they must say farewell to Narnia, even if the younger ones did not. They lingered round the table with Caspian and Trumpkin and the rest, and presently Peter offered a toast.
“To my brother King Edmund, who is eleven and twelve and sixty-three and thirteen hundred years old today.”
Everyone raised their cups and repeated, “King Edmund.” Caspian nodded and added, “Long live the king,” with an almost ironic tilt to his head.
Naturally, Edmund nodded back. “And to you, King Caspian. Long may you reign.”
Another round of assent followed, and then Lucy cleared her throat. “But also,” she said, “To late summer and the rebirth of Our Narnia. And to the land, the sea, the hills, the trees, the sky, Cair Paravel-by-the-sea and Dancing Lawn and all the flowers that are still in bloom. And to the color green. To all of us here today, and to those who are gone. And to Aslan.”
“Here, here.”
There were tears in Susan’s eyes now. “Happy birthday,” she whispered, and squeezed Edmund’s hand tight. Edmund looked down at his plate, fiercely overcome with love for this place and these people. In a strict, chronological sense, it had been less than a month since his last birthday, but how did the saying go? Time was just a tangled string, or falling snow, or whatever else Aslan told it to be.
.
“Bother,” said Edmund, “I’ve left my new torch in Narnia.”
Everyone chuckled at this, but Susan said, “Wait a year. We’ll get you a new one for your next birthday.”
#Edmund has a late August birthday#which means that Lucy's must be early in the year if 'really there was only a year between them' holds#AND we still choose to go with the birth years from Jack's timeline#and idk i just really love the idea of the Pevensies repeating their birthdays and just kinda reflecting on it#not in an angsty 'adults in kids bodies' way (ugh)#but just in a sort of 'huh. what a neat opportunity to think about#who i am and who i've been and who i'm becoming' kind of way#that pulls out the growing up themes from the series and examines them#idk i hope that's what i've done here#this is a veeeeerrrrry loose re-write of a really old middle school piece about Lucy having multiple eleventh birthdays#it just makes more sense if it's Edmund given the setup with Prince Caspian#anyway#narnia#the traitor who mended#leah stories#pontifications and creations#working on crossposting to ao3 (hopefully w/i the hour)
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Beltane
Written for Ectober 2021 Day 1: Trick vs Treat. This is part of the Exhumed series.
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Danny Fenton walked into the precinct. As often happened when he did this, all attention slowly turned to him. “Hi, Detective Patterson. Have you ever heard of Beltane?”
Patterson took a long swig of coffee through the plastic stir straw, because she felt the need to be at least a little drugged before dealing with whatever this was, and then said, “Is this the kind of thing the whole precinct needs to know about, or is it more specific to me?”
“Mm, not specific to you, but I’m not sure if everyone needs to know about it, yet.”
Despite only select members of the Amity Park police force knowing Danny Fenton had another identity, he’d become a sort of ‘ghost liaison’ for the precinct. Better him than the adult Fentons, who tended to break things even (especially) when they were being careful.
“Actually,” continued Danny, “you might have already noticed some things about it. I mean, it’s seasonal, and Mom and Dad were detecting ectoenergy and ghost activity spikes for events like this before they got the portal up and running. Although, the portal was supposed to stabilize and reduce those spikes… I guess reducing one isn’t bad?”
“Okay,” said Patterson. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about. Do you want me to go find Collins?”
“Oh, that might be a good idea.”
“Great,” said Patterson. She turned her head to shout across the room. “McGee. Go find Collins.”
“Still the new guy?” asked Danny, sympathetically.
“It isn’t like we’re a popular posting,” said Patterson, “and, thanks to the ghosts, we don’t really need new people.”
Danny nodded placidly. “I know. But it must be hard for him, don’t you think?”
.
McGee had done his job. He’d discovered the corruption in the Amity Park Police Department and plumbed its depths. The problem was that he could never, ever, report it. Even if they didn’t have a perfectly good cause for it all, what they were ‘hiding’ (and they were only barely doing that) was so ridiculous that McGee had thought he’d gone crazy at first.
Ghosts.
The whole of Amity Park was haunted. Just like it said in those touristy brochures at the front of the local diners.
He stuck his head into the break room. “Collins, Patterson and Fenton want you,” he said.
“In the normal room?” Collins asked, shoving a sugary monstrosity of a donut into his mouth.
“I have no idea. She didn’t say.”
“Normal room then. Great job, McGee.”
McGee rolled his eyes. Great job, he said. As if he’d done anything.
God. What would Halloween be like?
.
“So, it’s like, reverse Halloween?” asked Patterson.
“Well, not exactly,” said Danny. He patted Daisy, the department mascot slash corpse sniffing dog who had followed them into the small interview room, gently on the head. “Actually, there are more similarities than differences. Basically, like Halloween, we’re going to get a spike in ectoenergy. Maybe even some ectoplasmic storms. More portals. That kind of thing.” He shrugged. “Most holidays and seasonal divisions have them, you know.”
“So… we’re getting Halloween round two?” asked Collins.
“What do you bet that this is what gets McGee to snap?”
“He’s been here since December,” said Collins. “I think he’s too stubborn to leave.”
“Is he still spying?” asked Danny.
“No,” said Patterson, waving a hand. “He gave up on that, after a while. But there’s a new office bet about whether or not he’ll stay stay, or if he’ll decide to quit. We’re not allowed to join in because we know him too well.”
“Mm,” said Danny.
“I don’t actually know if I feel like I know him that well,” said Collins.
“Well,” said Danny, “it shouldn’t be as extreme as Halloween. Since, I mean, there aren’t as many religious holidays directly associated with death and stuff happening on or around May first. So. Yeah. But the thing is, there are some traditional, er, activities. Spirited activities.”
Collins suppressed a groan, and was glad that Captain Jones wasn’t available today. He and Danny could sling puns at each other for obscenely long periods of time.
“I’ve never noticed ghosts doing anything on May Day,” said Patterson.
“This is only the third year anyone’s even acknowledged that ghosts exist,” said Danny, “so I’m not really all that surprised. But the reason that I came to talk to you guys is that some of the ghosts want to do Beltane stuff. Like the fire blessings. Also, I’ve been told that some of the trees in town are secretly ghost trees, and if we don’t want to deal with another tree army, we need to do some stuff to appease them.”
“Secret ghost trees.”
“My source is very reliable,” said Danny. “Also, while I say ‘we don’t want to deal with it,’ I think we all know who’d be dealing with most of it.”
“You would,” said Patterson.
“Got it in one. Like, I can convince most of the ghosts to either do their Beltane stuff in the Ghost Zone, or somewhere out of the way. They’ll be disappointed, but I can do it. The ghost tree thing, though…”
“Can’t we just, I don’t know,” said Collins, “get rid of the ghost trees?”
“Well, they aren’t really evil ghost trees. Or even really ghost trees. They’re more… ghosts that live in trees?”
“What, like dryads?” asked Collins, raising his eyebrows.
“That’s what I said, but they’re different species, apparently.”
“Okay,” said Patterson, “so. Appeasing the trees. How many trees are we talking about here, and how are we going to appease them?”
.
“Okay, so, this is definitely a whole precinct kind of thing,” said Patterson.
“And possibly an ‘all civil servants’ type of thing,” added Collins. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where are we going to get the funding for this?”
“Oh, don’t worry about money,” said Danny. “I’ll just blackmail Vlad, and if that doesn’t work, I can get Mom and Dad to pay for it.”
“What,” said Collins.
“I think this might be a bit beyond your parents’ budget,” said Patterson, “but knock yourself out as far as Masters goes.”
“Well, I guess if it is,” he allowed, dubiously, “I could get the cults to pitch in?”
.
“This is nice,” said Danny. The sky was a bit overcast, which was a shame, but the hundreds of bright flowers and cheerful music more than made up for that.
The May Day celebration was, in Danny’s opinion, a success. At least, this half of it was turning out to be. He’d have to wait and see how the Spirit Bonfires went tonight before he could really make a judgement.
He’d only had to blackmail Vlad a little, too. It turned out that the ‘ruthless businessman’ in Vlad was ludicrously easy to manipulate, and once Danny brought up how a celebration like this one could revitalize local businesses and bring in tourism, he’d caved.
Although, that might have been the threat of an angry tree army. Vlad had definitely come off worse for wear in the last one, on all fronts.
Then, publically putting the Phantom Stamp of Approval (and Necessity Given The Potential Angry Tree Army) on the event had gotten buy-in from his fans and (sigh) the cults. The cults were, in fact, very enthusiastic about their new Holy Day. Danny had made a map of all the places they’d set up booths, and was studiously avoiding them.
Sam and Tucker were doing a walkthrough of that area, now, to check for problems and unadorned thorn trees. They’d arranged to meet up soon.
So, Amity Park was decked out in ribbons and flowers. All of the schools had gotten Maypoles and the day off of classes. Several bands, both human and ghostly, were playing in different parts of town.
It was chaotic, but great.
Danny briefly cut into the street to dodge a pair of college-age men play-fighting with tree branches (a genuinely important tradition symbolizing the battle between winter and summer), then walked through a wall to avoid two ghosts doing the same thing.
Finally, he reached Madame Babazita’s table.
“Hi,” he said, “three readings, please.”
“Three?” she asked. “Just for you?”
“My friends should get here before mine’s done,” said Danny. Was he channeling some predictive powers? Maybe. Holidays did make his powers weird.
.
“I have no idea what your reading is saying,” said Madame Babazita, after fifteen full minutes. “The cards simply aren’t speaking to me today. Also,” she held up an Uno card, “I’m not sure how this even got here.”
“That’s okay,” said Danny, “I just wanted to make sure it was the same as last time.”
.
“Hey! Phantom!” called Ember across the crowd of ghosts that had gathered in the cemetery. Most of them were fire or nature themed. “You’re in for a treat!”
Danny, who had been examining the flowers left on his grave, looked up. “I am?”
Ember draped her arm around Danny’s shoulder. She’d been a lot more friendly with him since the corpse incident. “Sure are.” She stepped up onto the surface of his memorial, pulling him up behind her. Danny shook off a brief chill and looked around.
Ghosts were streaming into the cemetery from various directions, bringing armfuls of flowers with them. Danny could see two, huge bonfire piles of flowers growing near the cemetery gates.
“Are there going to be cows?” asked Danny, who was still fuzzy on the details of the ghostly side of the celebrations.
“I don’t know,” said Ember. “When I’ve seen this done in the GZ there are. Here? Who knows. Maybe we’ll just walk through.”
Danny nodded, unworried. Beltane sure was an interesting holiday.
The last armful of flowers was placed, and every flower in the cemetery caught on fire at once. Including the ones on Danny’s grave. Danny yelped, jumping into flight. As an ice core ghost, he vastly preferred cold to heat.
This went without saying, but fire was very hot.
Ember grabbed his foot, and he almost kicked her. “You knew that was going to happen,” he accused.
“Sure did, babypop,” said Ember, grinning. “Come on, don’t you want to pass through the bonfires?”
Danny eyed the very large bonfires on either side of the cemetery gates. They were lit up with sparks like fireworks, shifting like flowers blooming and withering and blooming again. They were beautiful and impressive, and Danny felt like melting just by looking at them.
“I don’t know…” He wanted to, but… melting…
“Well, if you want to go out the other way and be horribly unlucky for the next year…”
Danny narrowed his eyes. “Is that another trick?” he asked.
Ember’s grin grew wider, and she took off towards the gates. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Danny sighed and followed her.
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“Unbelievable,” said McGee. “Absolutely unbelievable.” He gave the elderly cultist a boost into the wagon.
“I know, right?” said Patterson. “All this property damage and a low-key kidnapping,” she gestured to the hapless late night partier who had called the police when the cult got too insistent about their message, “and they didn’t even have the good drugs?” She shook her head. “Not that we ever arrest anyone just for drugs in this town.”
“I did not just hear you say that,” muttered McGee.
“We’ll make an Amity Parker out of you yet,” said Collins, heartily, slamming the back door of the wagon. He thumbed the button on his radio. “Any other disturbances?” he asked.
“No, you’re good to come back,” said the dispatcher.
“What I don’t get,” said McGee, leaning against a nearby wall in a moment of weakness, “is why we aren’t breaking up whatever cult thing is happening in the cemetery.” They’d seen it quite clearly on their way here.
“Because those are ghosts,” said Patterson.
McGee took a deep breath. “The ghosts are having some kind of ritual in the cemetery, and you aren’t worried.”
“Not really, no.”
“I hate it here,” said McGee.
“Do you, though?” asked Collins, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.
McGee opened his mouth to snap back that, yes, he did. But…
Hm. Huh.
Collins patted him on the back.
#danny phantom#ectober#ectober 2021#ectoberhaunt 2021#ectoberhaunt trick#ectoberhaunt treat#ectoberhaunt day 1: trick vs treat#fic#fanfic#exhumed
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I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-
and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-
I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam
FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:
We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.
You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.
Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.
My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.
But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.
On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."
Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.
And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.
There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.
So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.
In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3
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Just as I was about to go to sleep last night, I got a brain flash that went basically "something something flashback episode thiefsome themes???" so now in the light of day let's re-examine. This still isn't anything too polished, but... I think there's some interesting stuff to be found here.
Putting it under a tag so it doesn't clog up peoples' dashes too much, but the gist is that their roles actually represent their relationships/desires at each respective point in canon quite well, and it's giving me some thoughts about what a possible flashback with Hardison/Eliot would look like.
In the van Gogh Job, we get flashback Parker/Hardison. Obviously it wasn't them and the names are different and all but I'm just gonna call them f!Hardison and f!Parker because it's easier.
f!Hardison is brave, clever, determined, and deeply in love
f!Parker is loyal, comfortable, just as deeply in love, but terrified
Their flashback story is a cautionary tale as much as it is a romance. F!Hardison shares so many traits with Hardison himself, and f!Parker is a clear representation of current Parker. They make no bones about it, the parallels are extremely obvious and are even what makes the guy start telling Parker his story in the first place. Parker loves Hardison but she has found a place to belong in the team (flashback town/roller rink) and is afraid of what will happen if she disturbs that status quo by getting into a relationship with him. She's too scared of losing him (flashback to her racist dad/his buddies killing or hurting him, modern to the possibility of death mostly) to take the step to actually be with him, even though they both know she wants to. I love that there isn't any hint of her doubting his feelings or that he will remain devoted in either flashback or modern; the focus is entirely on her own fears for him and how she would handle that, not ever of him in any way.
Regardless of the timeframe, it's clear that (f!)Hardison loves her and will respect what she is willing to give him, even if that means leaving her. In the flashback, f!Parker still loves him and saves his painting in his honor for the rest of her life, remaining loyal to him despite never seeing him again. None of the emotion is in question at all, and it's clear that if she is willing to give it, her faith in him will be completely justified.
The episode basically just acts out Parker's fears (puppet-style?) and demonstrates to her that even though she would be fine if she doesn't take the leap - she'll be so much happier if she does. There's no guarantee of a happy ending, but Hardison is still himself and that means that before that ending comes at the very least, she will be happy. (Much like Sophie's beautiful speech to her.) Parker was already beginning to ease into a relationship with him, and this episode doesn't exactly drive her to jump in headfirst, but it's clear when we watch her reaction to the story what she will choose. She's going to build up her courage, but she's going to take the risk.
.
Now, given how transparent that episode is on their pairing, I kind of wondered what would happen if I look at the one that pairs Parker/Eliot's flashback selves: the D.B. Cooper Job.
f!Parker is understanding, supportive, loyal, and gives him a place to belong
f!Eliot starts out doing something bad for the sake of someone he loves, is drawn to her, and later feels wracked by guilt and seeks redemption by helping others
The focus in this one obviously isn't on the romance. It isn't even on either of these characters, so much as it is on Nate and his flashback self. But the parallels between modern and f!Eliot are still pretty apparent, if a bit watered down in that f!Eliot has no intentions to hurt anyone and in fact takes pains not to do so.
But as far as pairings go, I think what they do between these two is pretty interesting. Their flashback characters are drawn to one another, feel a kind of understanding and recognition that they can't quite explain. It's why f!Parker stops him before he jumps and never gives him up, it's why f!Eliot trusts her in the first place and why he shows up at her door after it is all over. I think this is a really nice parallel to the way Eliot and Parker understand one another and have this connection that is different from the rest of the team.
The other thing I like a lot is that in this episode, f!Parker is the steady support. She represents the home f!Eliot longs to have, even if she isn't the one who eventually offers him the chance to help others and make his own redemptive efforts. In fact, him working with f!Nate starts out for selfish reasons and only later evolves into a place where he feels he belongs. That's another obvious parallel to the Eliot we know, but the Parker in this episode is a little less immediately recognizable. Sure, she's an incredibly loyal person and will obviously not care overmuch about crime or whatever but mostly it's harder to see her as much in that role.
But I think she serves much the same role here as f!Hardison in the other episode. Though modern Eliot isn't hearing this story and making any resolutions based on it, the casting still represents their relationship. Parker is growing steadily into the position of leader/mastermind, and at this point she and Hardison are openly together. She is someone who understands Eliot on a very deep level, and she is coming to be the person who is his rock. While I'm not discounting Hardison's importance at all, Parker more closely fits the role of the person who encouraged him to take the job in this flashback. She's the one who, only three episodes later in Rundown, verbalizes a promise to change together. She (and also Hardison) represent the home Eliot craves to have, the belonging and support necessary for him to grow and to do good in the world. What's more, f!Parker is accurate in representing her side of things as someone who wants that for him. She wants to invite him in, wants to support him even if it's from a bit more of a distance at first (pre-relationship) but would absolutely welcome him inside as soon as he shows up at her door (once he's ready, she will bring him into the thiefsome).
And Rundown shows us that in action, again only three episodes later. Not in the sense of canon thiefsome, but Parker and Hardison are absolutely supporting Eliot leaving his darker past behind, changing with them for the better - and not just getting away with his own hands clean, but doing the extra work to help others (going after the guy who tried to hire him instead of just leaving town; again when they realize how serious the situation is but stay to fix it). The episode even ends with Eliot literally throwing away the crutch that would allow him to walk on his own, and pull them both in to support him instead. He's in the middle, he's deciding to join them even if he could get by alone, it's all representative for them welcoming him into the relationship too. (I headcanon something went down between them here but it isn't all cleared up relationship-wise until the Toy Job, but either way the themes are there!)
.
So with this in mind... The flashback with Hardison/Parker focused on Parker and her fears/decision to enter into a relationship with Hardison. Similarly, the flashback with Eliot/Parker focuses more on him and his desire to join the relationship. For both of them, the episode represents a shift in their relationship with one another, something not entirely unknown before, but a step that is challenging for them personally. Still, this step leads to greater happiness and growth.
All that in mind... what would a Hardison/Eliot episode look like, if we got it in Redemption? I'm getting into slight spoiler territory here, so leave now if you haven't seen the first few episodes.
.
.
Okay, so since we've had more focus on Parker, and on Eliot, this episode would focus most on Hardison. It makes sense as well for his role in the new series, because while Parker and Eliot are a little more stable, Hardison is the one entering a challenging new period of his life that is difficult but helping him grow.
I don't have any kind of full plot figured out, but here are some things I think we might see:
f!Eliot is supportive, confident, and believes deeply in him
f!Hardison is bold, struggles with self-doubt, and upends his own life in order to change the world for the better
I think Eliot's role in this flashback would be smaller, but he'd love f!Hardison deeply and the focus would not be on their relationship developing, but on the challenges it would face as f!Hardison embarks on... whatever it is. It has to be something f!Eliot knows he cannot do, and maybe even something that might mean the end of their relationship (though much like the van gogh job, the love between them is never in question).
I've seen people mentioning a Stonewall flashback episode for these two before, and that's possible. But another thing we could see is f!Hardison working against racist laws or something. Whatever the case, he needs to be doing something that benefits many, many other people, and it needs to put him at personal risk. I'm not entirely sure on what would be holding Eliot back from helping in the same way - it may just be as simple as f!Hardison gives amazing speeches and inspires so many people, while f!Eliot just doesn't have that skill. Maybe he is sick. Maybe, their relationship does end up attracting violence, and he gets hurt (doesn't even have to be their romantic relationship, if we're going a race angle and setting this episode further back, it could just be an open friendship with their romance kept secret. the themes would still be there). Whatever the case, f!Hardison has to leave Eliot behind.
And yeah, this has already happened in canon. We're already here. But if we wanted this episode to happen, I think it would be possible for the themes to still be relevant and the challenge to still be there for Hardison's character, if something brings him back to the team. If something goes down and he isn't there, and it terrifies him that he wasn't there, and he has trouble leaving again even though his work isn't done. Or if he organizes something on his end of the world that goes horribly wrong somehow. Sometimes it's not the first step that's hardest, it's keeping on even after the first big challenge. No road is free of bumps, after all, so Hardison might well think he's fine at first but start having doubts even after things have been going well for a while.
That is where you can bring this episode into play. That's where you start - f!Hardison is already getting involved in activism of some kind, but his own fame brings about negative consequences or something unrelated happens, and it scares him and makes him consider giving his work up. The episode can be bittersweet, with them never reuniting, or it can have a happier ending where he returns and f!Eliot is still waiting for him. But it's important for Eliot to represent a home that Hardison is already comfortable in, and one he has to leave in order to help others (however temporary the leaving is). And we need to see him away from the team, thriving and growing and improving so many peoples' lives in ways that never would have happened without him - both in the flashback, and in the modern part of the episode. In fact, Hardison doesn't even need to actually be physically with the team at all in the modern part of the episode. It can be more like the Broken Wing job, where we get hints at what they are doing but the focus is entirely on him and his struggle.
Of course, I have no idea how this would tie in to a modern heist. But maybe the format could be changed up, if we focus more on Hardison outside of the team. I'm sure there's some way this could be worked. And I think it would do really well in completing the trio of thiefsome episodes, and giving equal emphasis on all three of them in each one.
#leverage#leverage meta#leverage redemption#thiefsome#leverage ot3#leverage spoilers#my meta#do i ever expect to get this hardison/eliot flashback episode? no. but i can still dream#i have to go to dinner so i don't have time to read this over for spelling errors or messups of any kind really. sorry for any of those!
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Tear You Apart
Chapter 3/4
AO3 Link:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32168824/chapters/80048179
Pairing:
Laszlo x Reader
Summary:
Mere months after the conclusion of the Beecham case, Dr.Kreizler and his associates are asked once again to solve a new series of murders that plague the streets of New York. They are joined by the alienist’s new assistant, who’s presence soon unravels startling revelations. Not only within the case, but also within the mind of one of their own.
(This story is set between the events of Season 1 and Season 2)
Warnings:
Murder Mystery, Graphic Description of Corpses, slight dark!Laszlo (kinda. Think Will “This is my design” Graham), Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut (MINORS DNI), Minor Violence, Friends to Lovers,Assistant, Boss/Employee Relationship,Tension, Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining, Kidnapping, Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Abuse
(More Future Warnings TBD)
Notes:
Adding an extra warning for this chapter, just in case.
This chapter deals with themes of violence, kidnapping, captivity, non-consensual touching, non-consensual groping, and implied abuse.
Chapter 3: Lily
Dr. Kreizler was not a man who considered himself superstitious.
Ever since he was a boy, he clung to his curiosity, searching for answers through science rather than religion in order to understand the world around him, even if it left his reputation tarnished to the more traditionally-raised, God-fearing socialites of New York. Yet, even as a child, there had always been a darkness that surrounded him, drawing in trouble wherever he went. No, Laszlo was not superstitious, but there seemed no other term to describe himself other than cursed.
You had been missing for two days, and even logic and reason could not explain why history seemed destined to repeat itself.
Following your night at the opera, Kreizler had thought it odd that you had not appeared at the Institute the following day. You had not seemed unwell, during your outing- quite the opposite, actually- and yet the fact remained that your presence was notably absent. At first, the alienist pushed his worry aside. After all, you had spent what was supposed to be a night of rest by his side. He reasoned that perhaps you had simply drained yourself, driving yourself to exhaustion with both the investigation and the concern you had displayed for him. But what truthfully unsettled him was the lack of warning of your absence. It was unlike you.
Regardless, even with your absence, Kreizler quickly worked through the day's sessions and duties, leaving most of the day free to continue working on the investigation. Your theory the day before had intrigued him, and gave valuable insight into what the killer's motives and background could be. With a newfound momentum, Laszlo called for Stevie, sending the ward to gather his colleagues here at the Institute, in order to follow this new train of thought. He also instructed Stevie to find you, deciding that it would be best to check on you, if only to calm his own anxieties. With that, all that was left to do was wait.
Marcus and Lucius were the first to arrive, punctual as always. Not wishing to waste any time, the twins immediately went to discuss their new findings with the doctor, picking out bits of information that may be relevant to figuring out the killer's identity. Kreizler listened, drawing connections to their findings with the theory you had created. John was the next to arrive, quickly followed by Sara. The two had not had much to work with, in terms of narrowing down who the killer may be, but found a couple police reports and articles that had spoken about similar incidents. Laszlo nodded, giving his own opinions and comments occasionally, but his mind continued to drift elsewhere. He had pulled out his pocket watch, when he heard a new set of footsteps. Quickly, he looked up, only to see Stevie once again. Ushering the boy inside, he asked if he had found you.
"I tried, Dr. Kreizler, but I couldn't find her anywhere." Stevie explained. "Even went by the house a few times, but no one ever answered. Her door was locked, so I thought maybe she came back here."
Laszlo sighed, audibly upset by the news. "Right, thank you Stevie."
This caught the attention of everyone in the room. After the boy left the room, Sara turned to Laszlo.
"Has something happened?" She asked, sensing Laszlo's growing worry. "How long has she been missing?"
The alienist simply shook his head. "Since this morning. At first I thought I was simply overreacting, but now I'm not so sure..."
Saying his admission aloud, Laszlo realized how troubling the whole situation had seemed. He explained where you had been last night, and how Kreizler had made sure to get you home safely after the opera, only to find that you had not come to the Institute today. John stood up from his seat, sending a glance to Sara and the brothers. They stayed silent, throwing silent glances back and forth, as if talking through looks alone. Finally, Sara stepped forward.
"I believe we should go to her home, ourselves. If we find that she is safe, then we can continue our investigation."
"What're you saying?" Lucius interjected, stunned by Sara's proposal. "What would you have us do? Having the five of us show up unannounced to (y/n)'s home might be an overreaction, considering it hasn't even been a day."
"You may be right," Sara starts. "but I'd like to make sure nothing has happened to her. I won't be able to shed the guilt if the worst has come."
Laszlo's heart sank at her words, reminding him of the very same doubts and worries he had told you of the night before.
Moving quickly, Laszlo went to grab his jacket, placing it on as he spoke. "I'm going-"
Once more, Lucius was wary. "Dr. Kreizler-"
"-stay here if you must, Lucius." He turned, leaving no room for argument as he walked towards the exit.
Reluctantly, Lucius followed after Laszlo, with Marcus's hand on his shoulder. Sara and John were already standing, ready to leave with the doctor, the same memory of the Beecham case fresh in their mind. With that, it didn't take long for them to reach your home, a mere few blocks away from the Institute. It was a relatively small building, not like the towering apartments that surrounded it on either side. It was as though someone had taken a cottage from the countryside and placed it right on the streets of New York.
There were no lights on, by the windows. A fact that shouldn't have been strange, considering it was now late into the day. Even so, it caused a sense of looming dread to enter Laszlo's mind. It felt so similar when he had returned to his own home all those months ago, as though time was repeating itself. First with Mary, now with you. As the group called and knocked on your door, drawing the scrutinizing and curious stares of the people passing by, Laszlo concluded that he must have been cursed. How else could he explain the events unfolding? Truly, everyone that was drawn towards him seemed destined to either leave or be taken from him.
There had been one thing that gave him hope that it would be different.
With Mary, she had been a constant, comforting presence. What he felt towards her had not always been there, not until much later after their first interactions, but it had been a source of happiness and warmth. The feeling of being known so completely, without needing so much as a word being spoken. Mary had brought out a kindness in him that even he had feared he did not possess. It had been sweet and somewhat innocent love, regardless of the rather unusual dynamic.
With you, it was a similar feeling, but not entirely the same. Where his feelings for Mary were more subtle, there had always been an underlying want in his relationship with you. At first, it had simply been a need to understand you. How you could be so similar to him, sharing that same curiosity for the human mind, yet still be able to catch him by surprise with your insights. He wanted to know about you, every little detail. Learning what made you tick, what made you happy, and what parts of your mind you had not shown to anyone else. Yet, even that wasn't enough. It wasn't until much recently, had Laszlo deduced the source of this incessant need for you. Where his feelings for Mary had made him recognize the lighter side of him, you made him realize that perhaps the darkness there was deeper than he knew. But he welcomed that new feeling just as enthusiastically, after the events of the opera.
What he felt for Mary and for you were very different, but just as intense. He had hoped, foolishly, that those differences would change something. And yet it seemed as if history was playing out again, as it had before.
"Unlock the door."
Laszlo's words were met with hesitation by the group, before they noticed the clear distress in his expression. Marcus nodded, placing the bag he held down in front of the door, before crouching down to pick the lock. Once unlocked, Sara opened the door, leaning in through the frame to look inside. From what she could tell, the study and kitchen were empty, and she could hear no sounds of movement, even after she called your name. Slowly, one-by-one, the five of them entered your home.
"Marcus and I will check upstairs," Sara decided, earning a nod from the Isaacson brother. "I believe there are a few rooms further back."
As they split up inside the house, Laszlo found himself at a loss. Although he had stopped by a couple of times, he had never truly taken the time to examine the home. Outside of the paintings that decorated the walls and the furniture provided to you, the home was extremely bare. Only a handful of personal items were scattered about, as well as a couple of books he had given you to read. For each and every room the doctor passed, it dawned on him that you had not been exaggerating when you had told him you dropped everything to move to New York. He wondered just how much you had left behind.
"Dr. Kreizler!"
Marcus's voice called out, clearly alarmed, causing the air to still throughout the house. Rushing upstairs, John, Lucius, and Laszlo all went to join Marcus and Sara, only stopping once they saw the man exit what appeared to be your bedroom. A small bouquet of roses in his hands.
You awoke with your eyes closed. The only thing grounding you to reality was the steady, throbbing pulse in the back of your head, causing a dull ache to pass over you with every beat. With a low groan, you blinked, as you thought about how rough work at the Institute was going to be, if this headache was going to plague you. As you shot up from the bed, letting out a painful cry, you went to raise your hand to you head. Only for them to be pulled back harshly, by a binding pressure against your wrists.
You blinked, and suddenly the pain in your head was in the back of your mind. Your eyes shot to your hands, ignoring the sting of the sudden action. A bundle of knots bound you, as a rope dug into your skin, leashing you to the unfamiliar bed frame behind you.
No. no. no no no. You thought in a panic, realizing the gravity of your current situation.
You took in your surroundings, seated on a small bed in the center of a room. There were no windows, and only a small lamp by the door lit the small space. The walls were bare, save for the portrait of a young woman. The only exit was a wooden door, with cracks forming from the bottom. Your heart racing, you tried to recall your memory of the events last night. What had happened to you? Where were you? Who brought you here?
You remembered the opera, and your pleasant time with Laszlo there, and how he had escorted you back to your home. So why couldn't you remember falling asleep there? Why were you still wearing the same dress you had spent hours deciding on? You had watched the carriage ride far out of sight, Stevie at the reins. You had opened the door to your home, without the use of your key, as it had been unlocked already.
Unlocked. Despite having purposefully locked it before leaving for the night.
"Stupid." Your breath hitched, as you cursed yourself for not noticing such a mistake. You hadn't even realized. Too giddy and tired from the emotional events of the opera.
Your heart raced, as you grew more and more frustrated, causing you to tug at your bindings. But no luck came. You thought back to what you did after entering your home. You had placed a few things down, before retiring to your bedroom, in order to change into your night clothes and sleep. But you never made it that far. In a sudden moment of clarity, a memory returned to you. You had sat down in front of your vanity mirror, before noticing a flash of red in the mirror. A bouquet of roses. Perhaps it was the fear and shock of the realization that the killer they’d been hunting had been in your home that caused you to lose consciousness. However, the pain in your head suggested otherwise.
Whatever the case was, you were now trapped in a room, after being taken from your home by the very person you had spent months trying to find. But aside from the distressing predicament of your kidnapping, what unsettled you most was the sudden deviation in behavior. If you truly had been taken by the killer you were searching for, why were you still alive? Why did he take you? What did he plan to do to you?
You didn't want to wait to find out, but found that you had little choice in the matter. No matter how many times you tugged and pulled at your bindings, the restraint never weakened. You had tried untying the knots on the bed frame, in hopes that you may be able to escape, even if your hands were tied together. The knots however, were tight and overlapping each other, and no amount of strength that you possessed could undo them. In desperation, you looked at the wooden door, knowing that it was all that stood between you and freedom. If you only could unbind your hands. But even if you had escaped, you didn't know where you were, or who's home you were in.
The answer didn't come till what felt like hours later. You had sat yourself up into a more comfortable position on the bed, where the rope would not pull at your now-aching wrists, and jumped as the wooden door suddenly opened.
Your heart leapt to your throat, and all you could seem to do was stare at the figure in the doorway. You were shocked. Your were speechless. You wanted to deny it, to try and lie to yourself by saying that he couldn't be the one who took you. That his presence here was merely some miraculous coincidence. But you weren't that naive. Still, never had you thought the same man who would regularly stop by your house could potentially be a murderer.
"Mr. Arnett." You breathed out, finally.
"Good evening, my dear." He greeted, his tone just as casual as any other time you had spoken. As though it was normal, to have you tied up in a room against your will.
As he stepped into the room, you found yourself growing more and more anxious with each of his steps. He had asked you something, a question you couldn't recall. You couldn't even find it within you to respond, knowing that anything you said might make your situation worse. If Arnett truly was the same man who’d been killing the women of New York, then it’s likely he’d have no issue using that same violence against you. Although, he had already changed his behavior, choosing to attack you in your own home, rather than on the street. That alone revealed that he was unpredictable.
"What..what am I doing here?" You asked, fearfully. You wanted your tone to come off as more questioning, rather than upset. You knew that if Laszlo’s theory was correct, the only reason you weren’t dead yet was because the fantasy behind the murders relied on your acceptance of the man. Still unsure of his intentions with you, you shuddered at the thought of letting the man do whatever he wanted.
"I'm taking care of you."
The vagueness of the answer, and the emptiness in his tone, as he spoke sent a wave of fear over you. The man took a step towards you, right next to the bed you were tied to. You sat up, moving away from him, by instinct. You had hardly noticed the tray Arnett had been carrying, until he placed it down on the foot of the bed. A wide assortment of fruits, breads, and foods were placed onto the tray, along with a single red rose. Taking a seat next to you, he lifted something off of the item.
"A strawberry, from my garden." He explained, as though that was the cause of your nervous behavior.
You didn’t feel hungry, but felt a sense of relief at the act. Only because that meant he didn’t plan on harming you…yet. Once more, he placed the strawberry up to your lips.
Arnett's jaw tensed, as he spoke again. This time he sounded as though he were trying to restrain himself. "You don't need to be afraid of me."
Afraid to anger him, you took a bite, before attempting to distance yourself from him further, if that were even possible at this point. He praised you for the action, as an owner would praise a pet. Bitterness rose from your chest, creating a bad taste in your mouth. Whether it was the fruit he gave you, or the reaction you had to his words, you weren't sure.
"See, I knew you'd be good," He spoke, condescendingly. "just like my Lily."
You swallowed back a grimace. "Lily?"
Arnett blinked, as if confused for a moment, before giving a forced chuckle. His eyes turned to the portrait in the room, of the young woman. "I must apologize, it's rather rude of me to compare you to my wife- ex-wife. "
He quickly corrected himself, before looking back at you, his eyes falling to your wrists. More specifically, the red burns on them, from your previous attempts at escape. He reached out, without warning, before scolding you profusely. He spoke only about how should be more careful, as to not harm yourself further. In your upset state, you didn't even think before instinctively ripping your hands from his hold, not wanting him to so much as touch you.
Arnett's almost-caring expression fell in an instant, before revealing an angered scowl. He grabbed your arms again, only now his grip was harsh and painful. There was no doubt in your mind that you would have bruises later.
"Don't do that." He hissed. "Don't you ever do that!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You gasped, shaking as you quickly apologized in an attempt to calm his sudden temper. Blinking, you searched for any excuse that might help you. "I'm sorry.. I.. It's inappropriate, I wasn't expecting you to.."
Once more, you cursed yourself for coming up with such a weak excuse. However, even as you closed your eyes, you felt the grip on your hand lose its hold. When you looked back at Arnett, his scowl had disappeared. He thought for a moment, before a slight smile crept over his lips.
"You don't need to worry about such things anymore, my dear." He sighed. "Now that you're here with me, you won't have to feign innocence for the sake of appearances. We can speak freely now."
As you stared into his eyes, you came to understand that in some twisted way, his mind had made up a lie: making him believe you held some form of silent connection with him. Twisting your interactions into subtle advances, when they had merely been polite conversations. Every small talk in the study of your home, he had taken it as a sign of reciprocated affections. Rather than what they were. And he truly believed that lie, which was what frightened you the most.
You were silent, as he ran a thumb over your injured hand. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but you viewed it more as a threat. You knew that if you pulled your hands way, as you wanted to, you'd be met with more aggression. Eventually, his focus returned to the tray he had brought in, handing you the rose as he placed another fruit to your mouth. You were fighting back a mixture of emotions, as you attempted to process the situation. You wanted to snap, and tell him that he didn't need to feed you himself. You wanted kick and fight, if only to save your pride. But you knew that none of these actions would help you, and would more likely cause Arnett to harm you.
Instead, you tried to refocus your frustrations into questioning Arnett's plan for you.
"Mr. Arnett, I..I find myself at..at a loss as to why you've brought me here." You muttered, weakly. "Surely, it's not simply to 'speak freely', as you put it? I can't help but think there is another reason.."
The older man scoffed, as if surprised you even had to ask.
"Well, I've been left with no other choice, haven't I? You're forced to spend every day and night fretting over the little problems of a half-crazed alienist, who insists on keeping you by his side." He grit his teeth, looking around the room for a moment. "But that no longer matters. You won’t need to worry anymore about Kreizler taking his liberties with you, my dear."
The bruising grasp on your hand returned. His voice and expression reflected anger, though it didn't seem directed at you this time. His eyes were still staring off at nothing in particular, and it seemed as though he wasn't even aware of the venom in his tone. Ignoring your pain for a moment, you feared what he meant, upon mentioning Laszlo. Was he merely speaking his suspicions out of a jealous delusion? Or had he known- had he seen- your actions with Laszlo at the opera last night?
You let out another pained gasp, causing Arnett to release his hold on you. This time, he stood up, staring down at you with regret and fear. Almost dejectedly, he grabbed the tray once more, and made his way back towards the wooden door. But not without looking back at the portrait once more.
"Lily was as delicate as you."
A time passed before the door opened again.
You had fought to stay awake, in order to try and defend yourself against Arnett, even though you were essentially at his mercy. But the reality was that you were exhausted. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. The stress of the case, Laszlo, and your own current situation had left you utterly broken. As sleep came for you, your eyes fogged with tears, as you thought back to the happiness you felt just a night before.
When you finally awoke, you heard a loud thud, as though something had fallen somewhere in the building you were being kept in. Your heart pounded, half hopeful and half afraid. The wooden door to the dim room opened, your heart sinking as you faced Arnett once more, his face red with anger as he began yelling out, seething with every breath.
"He comes to my place of work, accusing me!"
Arnett raves, red in the face, as he circles around the room. His sentences slur together, his words coming out faster than you can understand them. You sit up quickly, bracing yourself, as it's all you can do in the moment. The man's eyes were wide and his gaze flicked from place to place, as if searching for something as he continued to ramble on. You noticed how his hands were clenched, his fingernails digging into his palms and his knuckles becoming a white color. Fearing what he may do, you kept your mouth shut, hoping in vain that he might forget that you're there.
"-Slandering my name and reputation!” He heaved out a heavy breath, before his stare finally finds its destination on you.
Whatever pleasant facade the man placed on for you before was gone now, overcome by his anger. He rushed forwards, pushing you back against the headboard of the bed, placing a hand on your face, pressing hard on your cheeks and jaw. Startled, you froze, unable to even move, except for the trembling throughout your body.
"Who is he to you?" He demanded, an accusatory glare cutting through you.
You choked out a reply, asking who or what he was talking about. That only made his grip stronger, squeezing against your bones enough to make them ache.
“That damned Kreizler!” He spat. “Is he truly so dependent on you, that he cannot go a single day without you?! Is your company so enjoyable that he cannot help himself?”
Arnett’s words were spiteful and insulting. Not only towards Laszlo, but yourself as well. It seemed that while Arnett did not seem to know the extent of your relationship to the alienist, the suspicion was enough to drive him over the edge. You only feared what would happen, should he learn what occurred at the opera. As your mind raced with your thoughts, you hadn't noticed how your captor now moved over you, trapping you under him. His spare hand trailed over you, his glare burning holes into you as he grabbed at your form. Your mind went blank, and all you could hear was the heartbeat that now pulsed in your ears. You twisted and turned, biting into your cheek as your body moved on its own, trying to do anything to get him off of you. A quick slap stunned you, causing you to recoil from the force.
Still, Arnett seemed lost to his ramblings. “He claims himself a gentleman! Tell me, do you enjoy the attention he gives you? Perhaps I’ve been mistreating you, perhaps you enjoy the way he takes advantage of you-“
Mistreatment was an understatement, but you dared not speak your mind in this moment. The feeling of his spare hand pushing a trail up your leg sent a wave of disgust and fear through you. Desperately, you spoke, saying anything that came to mind, hoping to calm the clearly unhinged man.
“No, no Mr. Arnett, please!”
You cried, gasping as your throat seemed to close off on its own.
“You’re- you’re right! He’s- He’s not a gentlemen, not like you. Louis-“
You barely registered what you were saying, only focusing on pleading for your life. You continued, speaking whatever you thought the man would want to hear. As soon as they left your mouth, you hated every lie you spoke about Laszlo. How you were catering to Mr. Arnett’s sick fantasy. It seemed to work, however, as the man paused his assault on you. His grip on your chin lifted your gaze up to him, making you stare through tears to look him in the eye.
Your voice shook as you spoke, going on and on about how you were being mistreated and how Arnett was a gentlemen, as much as it pained you to do so. You empathized the phrase, hoping it might somehow make him stop. His actions were abhorrent, yet he seemed to pride himself on being the gentleman he had tricked you into believing he was. You played into Arnett's fantasy, making yourself appear as some damsel in need of saving and that Arnett was the man who would do it. All you could do was hope your words satisfied him.
His hand released its hold on your leg, but you did not allow yourself to sigh in relief. The hold on your chin disappeared, as he gently placed his palm against your cheek. A soft smile met his lips, yet his eyes remained vacant and cold. His voice was distant once more, as if remembering something.
“You truly are just like my Lily.” He pressed his lips against you, holding you there. You didn’t move. When he finally parted, he gave a reassuring smile, something meant to comfort you, before saying: “He won’t mistreat you anymore, my dear. I’ll make sure of it.”
The older man stood up, smoothing a hand over his suit, before turning from you. Your heart sank at his words, leaving you in despair even as he left the room. Pulling your legs up to your chest, you cried into the wrinkled fabric of your dress, muffling the sound in order to keep Arnett from hearing you.
It felt like years, as another day passed. Your heart ached along with your shoulders and wrists, as you stared blankly at the wooden door. There were moments when you asked yourself if this barren room would be the last thing you saw. If the painted, empty eyes of Lily Arnett would be staring down at you, as you joined her in death. But there was hope.
Arnett’s outburst had been sudden and terrifying. But in his state, he’d given you the knowledge that Laszlo and the others were close, already questioning the man. Already suspecting the truth. You just needed to keep him satisfied, until your friends could figure out how to find you. If they found you.
When the wooden door opened once more, Arnett was bringing in another tray of food and water for you. As he came into the light of the lamp, your attention was drawn to the cut along the man's temple. Given your situation, this shouldn't have surprised you, but in all the time you've known the man you’d never seen the man with even a scratch on him, despite the violent attacks he had carried out. Before your abduction, you knew the man to be of good standing in the eyes of society. Someone obsessed with his reputation as a proper gentleman. Someone who’d never be caught up in a fight, not one that would cause such a wound.
You ask what happened, less out of concern and more out of curiosity, desperately wanting to learn what you could about the events playing out in the world outside of the small room. Your words seemed to fall on deaf ears however, as Arnett silently approached, not answering you. Instead, he lifted the food for you to eat. Slowly, you took a bite, not wanting to upset him further. After finishing the bits fruit and bread he initially offered, you found yourself growing more and more restless, due to his unsettling silence. As he lifted another fruit to you, you turned your head slowly, until eventually you found yourself looking up at the woman in the portrait.
Twice now he had mentioned his late wife…Lily. Some deep-rooted part of you felt as though her death had not been some random accident or illness, given how Arnett had consistently been comparing the two of you. No… By now, you suspected that perhaps the poor woman had shared your fate, falling victim to her husband's erratic behavior.
You opened your mouth, your throat dry as you carefully said: “I…I realize I never asked about your wife, before. If it is not too upsetting, tell me, how… how did she pass?”
Arnett blinked, as if snapped from his silence. A vacant expression crossed over his face, sending a frightening chill through you. It was identical to the one Laszlo had at the morgue, as the alienist was trying to gain insight into the killer’s mind. You had trusted Laszlo, but it was different now. Now you looked that very killer in the eye.
“I believe I told you. She was delicate." He paused, staring you down, before glancing away quickly. "Now eat.”
A horrible pit in your stomach grew, as your mind raced to create images of what you suspected befell the late Mrs. Arnett. If his lack of hesitation of using force against you was any indication…It was slowly becoming evident that perhaps she may have been the first. The catalyst that created the man you faced now. You swallow back the lump in your throat, speechless. In your shock, you had forgotten what Arnett had ordered you to do. It was too late to fix your mistake, as the man quickly took your silence as refusal. In an instant, the tray was shoved aside, slammed to the floor, as his form climbed over you.
"You ungrateful bitch!" His hands clamped down on your throat, using a strength that felt as though it would snap your life away at any second. You hands pulled down on the ropes, having enough length to allow you to claw at his grasp. “Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused me?"
You struggled for breath, your heartbeat becoming the only sound in your ears before a slam at the door snapped you from your panicked state. A voice- no, voices- spoke loudly. You didn’t process what was said, only that the weight of Arnett shifted. You found yourself placed between Arnett and the unknown parties, a sharp pressure against your neck. As you gathered your senses, you realized the pressure was a knife, one Arnett had kept hidden away. You weren't sure if he had it before, or if he had planned to use it against you before being interrupted.
John and Sara stood before you, the woman aiming a gun towards Arnett. Though, with you placed in between them, the weapon was also directed towards you. You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. If you weren’t so focused on the knife’s weight against you, your heart surely would have leapt with happiness. They had found you! But the confrontation was not over.
"You have no right, breaking in here!” Arnett seethed. “I’ll have you arrested!”
Sara was quick to respond, not even flinching from his words. “Call them if you like, but I doubt the police would be interested with us, upon finding a woman unwillingly locked up on your property.”
Arnett shook his head, his breath coming out in heavy exhales. His voice was shaking. Out of anger, fear, and confusion. “No, you’re wrong! She..she wants to be here! Tell them!”
The knife pressed harder against you, as Arnett whispered unintelligible words against your ear. You gasped, closing your eyes, as if everything would disappear if you didn't watch. Another sound of footsteps grabbed your attention, forcing you to look up once more. A third figure emerged through the door, joining John and Sara. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, upon seeing the tense stand-off between them and Arnett. With you at the center.
“Laszlo!” You called, the name falling from your mouth before you could stop it.
A vice grip found the back of your neck, making you gasp in pain. His whisper was erratic but you could just make out: "How dare you say his name in front of me-"
The knife pressed harder, a small sting followed by a warm trickling feeling. His cheek pressed against your ear, speaking lowly. “Tell them you want to be here. With me.”Another pause of silence made him seethe. "Answer me, Lily!”
Arnett’s grip on reality, whatever remained, was slipping as the scene played out before you. Still, you refused. Laszlo was here, They were all here! You were so close to freedom that you couldn't bare the thought of him taking it away. Tears reached your eyes, as you glanced at the faces you've grown to know.
“There’s no where to go, Mr. Arnett.” Sara said, regaining your attention. She looked back at you, rather than your captor. She looked unsure, as she aimed her gun toward the two of you, in contrast to her confident words. “If you truly care for her, as I suspect you do, then let her go.”
“No, nonono..” Arnett’s breaths became erratic. “She belongs with me! Tell them, my dear, now.”
Still you remain silent, biting back a cry.
Arnett snapped, cursing you, as the knife lifted for a moment, before turning fully towards you, intended to pierce your throat. In that split moment, you heard the loud blast of gunfire, followed by the metallic smell of gunpowder. A ringing overtook your senses, followed closely by a burning in your shoulder.
Then...
thud
thud
thud
Your heartbeat signaled to you that you were alive, but you couldn't help yourself but think it was a trick. One last cruel joke for the entertainment of a higher power.
Your mind and vision seemed to blur, as each passing moment came by in flashes. You no longer felt Arnetts breath against your ear, yet the intense pain in your shoulder remained. You felt a pair of arms reach around you, as the restraining pull of ropes on your wrists disappeared. The cool breeze of air hit your face at some point, before the rest faded away to darkness.
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I Don't Sleep on Bed of Bones: The Slayer as a Killer Across the Seasons
A pretty constant question throughout Buffy's arc - arguably the central question of the entire show, that Buffy must answer, is "what is a slayer? What does being The Vampire Slayer mean?". And a major part of that is the question of whether a slayer is just a killer. It's a question central to S5, but ripples throughout the rest of the show too, with some of the most iconic scenes in the show in converstion with each other around it. Inspired by an ask I received about this from @potterkid, I took a look at how this idea develops and resolves itself over the course of the show.
In S1, being the Slayer means accepting responsibility. It's metaphor for growing up - a metaphor that recurs throughout the show along with other ideas, but is strongest in S1. Buffy is torn between her teenage/human wants and her adult/supernatural responsibilities. She accepts her mortality and her duty (fighting the Master), and wins when she manages to integrate that with her personal desires (fighting the Master in a kickass prom dress with her friends and boyfriend). There's some stuff around the classic superhero idea that being around the hero is dangerous -e.g. in Never Kill a Boy on the First Date, but not much on the idea of a Slayer being a killer exactly.
In S2, being the Slayer means making hard choices. It means accepting that sometimes all your options are bad ones, but choosing one anyway, even at personal cost. This is introduced through Ford's story in Lie to Me, with Buffy's words to him forming one of the core thesis statements of the show ("You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice."), and it's climaxed beautifully in the tragic ending of Becoming. There's not much direct allusion to the idea of Buffy being a killer here, but this is a vital moment in that discussion. Ultimately, Buffy does make the decision here to kill Angel - not to slay Angelus, but to kill him. To take the life of her ensouled lover in order to save others. It's kind of the opposite of the decision that Ford makes - the best of two bad choices. It's the classic trolley problem, and Buffy's hand is on the lever by design - she has to make that choice because she's the Slayer. We will see this moment returned to again and again as this Slayer-vs-Killer theme develops.
Also, Ted is a very important episode for later. Buffy herself feels guilty specifically because she used her slayer powers on what she thinks is a regular human, and therefore killed him. Specifically, being the Slayer made her a Killer. It's also notable that this is where the idea of Buffy having a free reign to kill is first introduced - by Buffy's original shadow self in Cordelia no less.
Cordelia: I don't get it. Buffy's the Slayer. Shouldn't she have... Xander: What, a license to kill?
Cordelia: Well, not for fun. But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?
- 2x12 Ted
This isn't explored massively here but will be revisited again and again going forward.
S3 is where this theme really comes into focus. Faith enters as Buffy's shadow self and a representation of hedonism. How that manifests is as a Slayer who gives herself a license to Kill. She posits the idea that as slayers, they can and should decide who lives and dies.
Faith: Something made us different. We're warriors. We're built to kill. Buffy: To kill demons! But it does not mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else!
Faith: We are better!
- 3x15 Consequences
Obviously, this is something that Buffy has to reckon with and fight against. But there is a glimmer of truth here, because at the end of S2, she does take the power of life and death into her own hands. She is faced with the choice between Angel and the world and decides that Angel should die. She had to, that's the position she has to be in because she is the Slayer. She has to be a Killer because she is a Slayer. So the two are intertwined.
More than this, Faith is someone who at least appears to revel in the kill. Up until now, we hadn't really seen Buffy enjoy being a slayer, but Faith does. Buffy is genuinely drawn to that, to slaying for pleasure. The equation of slaying/killing and sex for Buffy is first explicitly drawn by Faith in this season. ("Isn't it crazy how slaying always makes you hungry and horny?"). Slayers are very much like vampires in that respect, blurring the line between sex and death. In general, Faith introduces the idea that Buffy is drawn to killing - not just to protect people (the ideal of a Slayer), but for its own benefit. That's something that Buffy continues to struggle with going forward.
I have said before that Faith in S3 is an echo of Angel in S2, both in Buffy's relationship to them both and how that shifts mid-season, and in how it ends. In Graduation Day, Buffy again is given the power of life and death. This time, it's more personal - she can stop Angel dying by killing Faith. It's not such a straightforward (for want of a better word) decision as Angel .vs. the literal entire world, it's just the value of one life against the other. Another trolley problem, and it's not an easy choice, but it's still a choice. Just as she chose the lesser evil in killing Angel in S2, she kills the person filling the Angel role in S3. And this time, the choice is explicitly tied to the idea of being a Killer. Faith is set up as the person that Buffy could be in a slightly different world, and that person is a Killer, as Faith herself claims.
"What are you gonna do, B? Kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet."
- Faith Lehane, 3x17 Enemies
"You did it, B. You killed me."
- Faith Lehane, 3x22 Graduation Day
In the act of choosing to pull the lever, Buffy has to kill. In the act of killing, she has become her dark mirror. In the act of defeating/becoming Faith, she becomes again the sole Slayer. Being a killer and a Slayer again intertwined. It's interesting here that she then makes the decision to feed herself to Angel. She unravels the trolley problem by throwing herself on the tracks. It's fascinating that between the dual trolley-problem finales of Becoming and The Gift, where in the first Buffy chooses to pull the lever, and in the latter she refuses and chooses a third option, Graduation Day exists in the middle as a stepping stone where she kind of does both.
The bulk of S4 is a little lighter on this theme, instead examining The Slayer as a role that must be juggled amongst a series of competing roles as Buffy's life as an adult becomes more fractured. There are flavours of it in Fear Itself, where Buffy fears that her friends will leave and her destiny lies with death and the dead, but otherwise not too much jumps out at me. Except, of course, for Restless, which is so heavy with this theme. It's one of the many reasons why I kind of consider Restless an honourary part of S5, as it's setting up the themes and arcs of S5 as much as it's wrapping up the like from S4.
RILEY: Hey there, killer.
BUFFY: We're not demons.
ADAM: Is that a fact?
RILEY: Thought you were looking for your friends. Okay, killer...
TARA: I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute ... alone.
BUFFY: The Slayer.
FIRST SLAYER: No friends! Just the kill.
OK, so SO much to unpack here. This is all within the under-10-minute sequence of Buffy's dream, and in that sequence she constantly shows a fear that she is in fact a "killer". It's clearly strong in her mind. Riley calls her "killer" multiple times, and Adam equates her with him, and with demonhood. I also find it very interesting how she responds to Tara's words, which are very literally describing the act of kiling ("the action of death...the blood cry...the penetrating wound"). She hears that and immediately identifies her as the Slayer, so slayerhood and killing are clearly bound up together in her mind.
Central to her concerns is the dichotomy between friendship and death. This was built up in Fear Itself, and it's central here. Riley and Sineya both frame it as a choice, between friendship and "the kill". This is a fear that Buffy has already, since S1, that her Slayer life will stop her ability to have a "normal" life of friends and family, but it also sets up her arc in S5 nicely. She chooses her friends over becoming a pure instrument of death in Restless, but that does not resolve her ongoing fears. They existed before and continue to dwell even more strongly in her mind, with words that both Sineya and Dracula repeat.
"You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. You haven't even begun."
This sets the stage for S5, and her arc of choosing between family and being the Slayer. Friendship and family are presented as more of less one and the same a few episodes later in Family, and the choice Buffy is faced with in S5 is another trolley problem - the life of Dawn against the world. This time, it's more specifically tied to the Slayer/Killer dichotomy through the prophecy that Buffy is faced with ("Death is your gift"). This frames the similar choices she faced in Becoming and Graduation Day in the same light, with Buffy even specifically comparing this to the former.
BUFFY: I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much. But I knew ... what was right. I don't have that any more. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that... I just wish my mom was here. The spirit guide told me that death is my gift. Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.
- 5x22 The Gift
S5 is soaked in this Killer-vs-Slayer idea, and that's part of why I love it so much. It opens with Buffy having gained an appreciation of killing. She goes out not to patrol, but to hunt. To revel in the enjoyment of the kill, just as Faith did. There's also a constant theme of people identifying Buffy as a Killer. Importantly, it's a theme of her believing them. She knows that there is a kernel of truth there, and it develops from a subconcious worry in Restless to a more concrete fear in Intervention, where Buffy explicitly says that she is afraid that being the Slayer means losing her humanity and ability to love, and become nothing more than a "killer". Eventually, Buffy is so ground down by it that when The Gift rolls around, she simply accepts that the Slayer is "just a killer" as an inevitability.
BUFFY: Yeah, I prefer the term slayer. You know, killer just sounds so...
DRACULA: Naked?
- 5x01 Buffy vs Dracula
SPIKE: Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace.
- 5x07 Fool for Love
FIRST SLAYER: Death is your gift.
- 5x18 Intervention
I also like the way that Joyce is repeatedly linked to this idea. Buffy's response to Sineya points to Joyce's death as a rebuttal to the idea of death being a gift ("Death is not a gift. My mother just died. I know this."). Buffy talks about Joyce just before accepting that "a slayer is a killer" in The Gift. Spike's speech about Slayer's having a death wish comes immediately before Buffy finds out that Joyce is going into hospital. The idea of the Slayer as an instrument of death, killing every day, is juxtaposed against the mundane horror of what death is really like, as demonstrated in The Body. As the Slayer, Buffy must cause death, but this is what death looks like. It's hard and painful and mortal and stupid. Eventually Buffy reaches a point where she just can't do this anymore. She can't live in a world where she must choose to be a killer, because she understands death more now than ever.
It's here that the show explicitly connects the ideas of utilitarianism and being a killer. Buffy says that killing Dawn to save the world (and by association killing Angel to save the world, or killing Faith to save Angel), would make the Slayer "just a killer". This goes back to S3, and Faith arguing that the death of one innocent was washed out by the many people that they save, and that being Slayers gives them the right to make that calculation. Tara points to Giles in this episode, the voice of utilitarianism, and identifies him as a killer. Giles himself identifies himself as one when he kills Ben, and here draws a line between being a utilitarian/killer, and being a hero.
BEN: Need a ... a minute. She could've killed me.
GILES: No she couldn't. Never. ... She's a hero, you see. She's not like us.
Some people criticise the moral absolutism of this, and could very justifiably argue that killing Ben, or even killing Dawn, would be the most moral thing in this situation. Who are we to say that Dawn's life is more valuable than the lives of a thousand other 14 year old girls, with families of their own that love them just as much as Buffy loves Dawn? But within the context of the show, I think it makes sense for them to reject utilitarianism. Buffy is a Sisyphean story. There will always be another apocalypse after this one is stopped. There will always be another impossible choice with innocent lives in the balance. Through that lens, the idea of "killing one to save a thousand" becomes meaningless, because there's a thousand apocalypses, and if you kill one to stop them all, then you've killed a thousand. That's how Buffy feels - she killed Angel, she killed Faith, now she has to kill Dawn? Where does it end? Eventually it all just gets stripped away, so what's the point? There's no winning move here. The only way to break the cycle is to change the game.
We should also keep in mind Buffy's words at the start of the episode. She fears that the Slayer is "just a killer", but she is also identified by the guy she saves in the alley in the opening scene as "just a girl". And Buffy agrees ("That's what I keep saying."). Buffy is The Vampire Slayer, which dictates that she must make these impossible choices, but she's also Buffy, which means she is a human being with the power of free will. She gets a choice - not a good choice, but a choice. As a human being, she can reject the options in front of her and find a third way. She can transform the whole game, and turn "Death is your gift" into an empowering statement. This was heavily foreshadowed of course - the Guide in Intervention outright stated that Buffy was full of love, and that "love will bring [her] to [her] gift". But it takes Buffy working through these fears and emotions and realising that she simply can't take Dawn's life. She chooses a new way. She avoids being a killer by rejecting utilitarian ethics. To paraphrase The Last Jedi, she wins by saving what she loves. Ultimately, she's not a killer, but a girl, a friend, a sister, a Slayer - a hero.
So season five is very much the climax and resolution of this theme. Very few themes ever disappear entirely from this show though, and this one continues to echo throughout the show. In S6, Buffy again fears she is slipping into darkness. That there is some kind of darkness that is innate within her. But where in S5 this was a fear that she recoiled from but at times seemed inevitable, in S6 it is something that she is drawn towards, that disgusts her but that she takes a kind of comfort in, because it's easier than facing the mundane reality of her depression.
This yearning for her own darkness takes the physical form of Spike, who she uses for what is basically sexual self-harm. Spike steps into Faith's role as Buffy's shadow self for much of the later seasons, and , and like Faith he represents killing as hedonism, and as sex. There's no vampire who so aggressively blurs the lines of sex and death/violence as Spike. Her fear that killing is part of her nature, and her fear of her own sexual desire, are very much one and the same. When she breaks down in Dead Things, she talks about the darkness within her, and of her shame over her own sexuality.
Spike also repeats Faith's utilitarian justifications from Consequences in the episode which forms the climax of Buffy's self-destruction, Dead Things. When Buffy attempts to metaphorically commit suicide by turning herself into the police, she does it while constantly identifying herself as a killed. She repeats some variation on "I killed her" four times in just two scenes. She wants to be punished for being a killer, and not protected for being the slayer. She has grappled with this several times, and is still resolute that being the slayer does not give her a license to kill, but this time she is desperate to be seen as a killer, to give justification for her own self-hatred.
The final way S6 explores this idea is with Willow. When she is after Warren, Buffy tries to stop her, not for Warren's sake but for Willow's. She knows that taking a life changes a person, and implicitly draws on the first time she chose to take a human's life, the moment she "became a killer" on that rooftop with Faith.
Buffy (re: going to kill Faith): I can't play kid games anymore. This is how she wants it.
Xander: I just don't want to lose you.
Buffy: I won't get hurt.
Xander: That's not what I mean.
- 3x21 Graduation Day
XANDER: She should be coming down at some point, shouldn't she? I mean, back there she was out of her head ... running on grief and magicks.
BUFFY: Doesn't matter . Willow just killed someone. Killing people changes you. Believe me, I know.
- 6x21 Two to Go
Killing Warren might have been justified given what a complete piece of shit he was - just as killing Angel was justified, just as killing Faith was, just as killing Ben was. That doesn't matter, because Buffy still recognises that the act of killing leaves permanent psychological scars, which she is still bearing.
In S7, we get the final major exploration of the "does the Slayer have a right to kill" idea in Selfless. Here, Buffy seems to have reached the conclusion that Cordelia, Faith and Spike (all her shadow selves) were right, and she does, in fact, have the right to pass judgment because she's the Slayer, when she decides she has to kill Anya.
"It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me. You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law."
- 7x05 Selfless
However, I don't think the show wants us to take this as gospel. Buffy is conclusively proved wrong in this episode, since killing Anya doesn't work, and it's Willow who finds a third option that saves the day. In S7, the idea of the Slayer-as-Killer is more an incidental theme, while the central exploration is the idea of "one girl in all the world". It explores the nature of that tragedy, that Buffy is by definition alone. Because of this, she necessarily must be a killer. She does have to pass judgement, because there is nobody else capable of it. She has to be the one to hunt and kill vampires. She has to face the choice to kill Angel, to kill Faith, to kill Dawn, to kill Anya.
This is where the theme ends up - as a tragic inevitability. Buffy must always make that choice. Making the selfless choice to kill her boyfriend doesn't stop it. Avoiding the choice and dying herself doesn't even stop it. That boulder just rolls down the hill again and again, and Buffy is the only one who can push it back up. The Slayer is a killer because the Slayer is alone. So the only way to break that cycle is for the Slayer to no longer be alone. There are still elements of The Slayer, and of Buffy as a person, that are linked to death and killing, but she has mostly made peace with those parts, and now can be free of having to be "the law" too.
#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#meta#buffy summers#s1#s2#s3#s4#s5#s6#s7#restless#the gift#intervention#graduation day#consequences#dead things#ted#enemies#buffy vs dracula#fool for love#theme:choice#theme:slayerhood#becoming
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Movies I watched in March
Thought I’d chronicle the films I’ve been watching over the March period, from the 1st to the 31st, and how I’d rate them. If you’re looking for something to watch, perhaps this will help. A lot of these movies are available on streaming services also.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) - 10/10
I hadn’t watched this in a couple of years but I was blown away. Peak Scorsese.
Rushmore (1998) - 7/10
Not the best Wes Anderson movie for me but still fun.
Lion (2016) - 8/10
I discussed this at length on my podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. Great movie!
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10
Now this is one of the best Wes Anderson movies. I discuss this more on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Fantastic, funny and I watched it twice because it’s so much fun.
Inception (2010) - 10/10
Discussed on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Best Christopher Nolan movie for me, Inception is just breathtaking.
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) - 5/10
This might be Anderson’s weakest film (at least from what I’ve seen) but it’s still not as bad as a lot of directors at their worst.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) - 10/10
I was really on an Anderson binge in March. The Royal Tenenbaums is one of the most wholesome movies I’ve seen and certainly one of his best films.
Rome, Open City (1945) - 4/10
This was filmed in Nazi-occupied Italy and from that premise, the film enticed me. Despite having some interesting qualities, I do feel that initial pull is most of what the movie has going for it.
The Prestige (2006) - 7/10
I showed this to my brother and for what it’s worth, he enjoyed it. I do think this is one of Nolan’s weaker efforts but considering how much I like it, that speaks a lot to Nolan’s filmography as a whole.
Nostalgia (1983) - 10/10
I watched Nostalgia three times in the space of a week and reviewed it on The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s phenomenal.
Kangaroo Jack (2003) - 1/10
Another one I watched for the podcast. Kangaroo Jack is truly terrible and it upset me a great deal. Avoid this movie.
Stalker (1979) - 10/10
Another Andrei Tarkovsky movie (director of Nostalgia). I watched this again during the day before my second watch of Nostalgia and while it’s hard to compare such different movies, I enjoy Stalker more. It’s a staple of Russian cinema for a reason.
Four Lions (2010) - 5/10
Watched for the podcast. I didn’t really gel with this comedy but it would certainly appeal to someone who enjoys the humour, as my co-hosts did.
Revolutionary Road (2008) - 6/10
This Sam Mendes joint was a tad too melodramatic but still boasted some great performances from Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.
Metropolis (1927) - 6/10
This silent film is a staple in cinematic history. Its themes are as painfully relevant today as they were in the 20’s, yet despite that I found a lot of it to be intensely boring. After it hit the hour mark, I started playing it at 1.5x speed.
Crimson Peak (2015) - 4/10
A lot of great set design and costumes and colours, yet the story itself was madly uninteresting.
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004) - 10/10
Who doesn’t love a good movie written by Charlie Kaufman? I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon and after a third watch, it is as fascinating as it is gut-wrenching.
Godzilla (2014) - 3/10
If you wanted to see Godzilla fight a bunch of monsters for two hours, then this is not the movie for you. There’s maybe about ten minutes total of on-screen Godzilla action and considering that’s really all anyone’s watching this for, it’s amazing the titular sea lizard occupies so little of the movie.
Prisoners (2013) - 10/10
Brilliant mystery thriller by my favourite director, Denis Villeneuve. Discussed on the podcast.
Eraserhead (1977) - 7/10
David Lynch’s debut feature film went down in my estimations this time around. You can listen to why on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Still, Eraserhead is a very good movie.
Raiders of The Lost Ark (1981) - 6/10
The first Indiana Jones movie proved to be a fun romp and Harrison Ford plays the character beautifully. I’m just not a big fan of Spielberg and his average verging on pretty good but rarely ever great movies. Perhaps on a second watch, I may enjoy this more.
The Seventh Seal (1957) - 9/10
Watching this movie again was so much fun. So far, it’s my favourite Ingmar Bergman film. It’s a celebration of life and love, with an underlying sense of dread as death looms ever-present.
Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984) - 5/10
I can tell why this generally looked on as the weakest in the trilogy. Harrison Ford is still great but the movie dragged a lot and felt more like a bunch of things happening for the sake of it rather than a fun action/adventure.
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989) - 7/10
The Last Crusade was a lot of fun and maybe it was Sean Connery’s inclusion, or perhaps the bottle of wine I drank through the movie elevated my enjoyment. But alcohol aside, I still believe this to be the best in the series.
Justice League (2017) - 2/10
People really weren’t kidding when they said this was bad. I watched this in preparation for the Snyder cut and I was not happy. This took years off my life.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) - 3/10
Barely any better and double the run-time of the original. I discussed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon and I was certainly not impressed. Better luck next time, Zack!
The Truman Show (1998) - 10/10
Brilliant movie and one I would highly recommend for a stellar Jim Carrey performance. This was another recommendation for the podcast.
Eighth Grade (2018) - 7/10
I was impressed with Bo Burnham’s debut feature. This is a coming of age story centred around a young girl growing up in the modern world and how it can affect the youth of today. Burnham shows a deep understanding of youth culture and a real knack for filmmaking.
Bad Education (2019) - 8/10
A real “yikes!” movie. If you want to learn a bit about the embezzlement that took place in an American school back in the early 2000’s, you need not look further than this tight drama with fantastic performances from Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney.
Twelve Monkeys (1995) - 8/10
One of the only movies where the time travel makes sense. I recommended this for The Sunday Movie Marathon and it’s pretty great.
Ready Or Not (2019) - 7/10
Despite a premise that is not wholly original and a super goofy third act, Ready Or Not is gory, violent fun with a lot of stylish art direction.
Dead Man (1995) - 3/10
Recommended on the podcast. I really did not get a lot out of Dead Man. It’s a very slow movie about Johnny Depp going through the woods and killing some people on the way, but it’s two hours long and hugely metaphorical and sadly it just didn’t connect.
Misbehaviour (2020) - 6/10
A big draw for me in Misbehaviour is Keira Knightley; I think she’s a great actor and I’m basically on board with anything she does. I’d been wanting to see this for a while and I was shocked to see just how relevant it is (being set in 1970) to the world we find ourselves in today, where women are still fighting to be heard and to be treated equally. While the film is not spectacular, I still got a lot from its themes, so recently after the murder of Sarah Everard and how women are being treated in their protest.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1964) - 7/10
I was surprised at just how hilarious this early Kubrick movie is. While I can’t say it floored me or took any top spots, it’s still a great examination of the military and how they respond to threats or try to solve problems and the side of war we don’t often see in films: the people in the background sitting in a room making crucial decisions.
Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10
Wow! I can’t believe I’d never seen this before but I’d never really had access to it. Taxi Driver is a beautifully made movie with so much colour and vibrancy. De Niro puts on perhaps his best performance and Paul Schrader’s timeless script works miracles.
Sleepy Hollow (1999) - 5/10
Classic Tim Burton aesthetics in a pretty by the numbers, almost Supernatural-esque story eked out over an hour and forty minutes.
Seaspiracy (2021) - 6/10
Everyone’s going crazy over this documentary and I agree it tackles important issues we’re facing today surrounding the commercialization of the fishing industry, but a lot of what’s presented here is information already available to the public. The editing feels misplaced at times and the tone is all over the place. Nonetheless, it’s still quite fascinating to see good journalism being done in a way that exposes this side of the industry.
Pirates of The Carribean: The Curse of The Black Pearl (2003) - 8/10
Super fun and a great first instalment in a franchise that sadly seems to have peaked at the first hurdle.
My Octopus Teacher (2020) - 8/10
Great cinematography and a lovely premise, this documentary has garnered an Oscar nomination and I can see why.
The Sisters Brothers (2018) - 8/10
A really solid western I was happy to watch again. It’s a shame no one really talks about this movie because it is excellent with stunning visuals and great performances.
Pirates of The Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) - 5/10
A strangely massive drop in quality from the original. If I didn’t like the whole concept of this franchise so much, I might have had a worse time.
Reservoir Dogs (1992) - 8/10
On a second watch, Tarantino’s first feature is still wildly impressive.
Life of Brian (1979) - 7/10
This is perhaps my third time watching Monty Python’s Life of Brian and it’s still incredibly funny, however it never manages to measure up to its predecessor (and one of my all time favourites), Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
#march#movies#film#wrap-up#monthly#follow for more#the wolf of wall street#rushmore#lion#the grand budapest hotel#inception#the life aquatic with steve zissou#the royal tenenbaums#rome open city#the prestige#nostalgia#kangaroo jack#stalker#four lions#revolutionary road#metropolis#crimson peak#eternal sunshine of the spotless mind#godzilla#prisoners#eraserhead#raiders of the lost ark#the seventh seal#indiana jones and the temple of doom#indiana jones and the last crusade
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13/06/21 rant #2 - Halo Infinite
Fuck. Off.
343 did what I was hoping to Fuck they wouldn’t. They pulled a JJ Abrams and tried to delete everything that “the fans” didn’t like about 4 and 5 from the franchise.
They had a STORY, they had interesting character dynamics. The characters had motivations. REAL, genuine things for them to mull over and discover about themselves. But no, some piss-baby man-children “didn’t like politicals in their 100 Chungus Wholesome Shooter Manly Game”, so fuck all that good stuff, I guess.
They could have done interesting things with Blue Team and Osiris stuck on Sanghelios at the end of Halo 5 - maybe the first few missions of the next game could have the players helping Thel codify his progressive government until a Guardian arrives to apprehend Blue Team and “punish” the Sangheili for their harboring them, leading to a frantic race against to activate a Forerunner tower to stun or destroy the Guardian, which attracts the attention of the Infinity, which rescues the heroes and then ferries them on different missions, searching for a way to stop Cortana.
But no, they got rescued immediately afterwards, went to Reach to reinforce how the Spartan-II program was actually A Very Good all along, and then had the Infinity explode because a laughably tiny minority of players hate anything that was introduced in Halo 4.
They could have written a sideplot with Locke, where he re-examines his history with ONI, and ultimately decides that his loyalty is with the people, not the shadowy fascist organization, and in a climactic moment, betrays ONI to help John and the Infinity. He’s not an ONI puppet, he’s a man.
But no, they killed him off in-between games and stuck his helmet on a mini-boss’s shoulderpad so EBIC GAMERS could laugh and clap and rejoice that the black man can no longer “taint” their precious videogame franchise with the crime of almost being as competent as John.
I’ll bet 343 did the same thing to Commander Palmer too, all because her “Ladies and other Spartans” comment in Spartan Ops got the chodes all screaming and shidding their pants in rage and anger that a “feeeeeeeeeeemale” would say something like that, despite it being a retort to DeMarco’s attempt at hitting on her earlier in the same cutscene. We’ll probably see her helmet on a stick or something. 50/50 chance for the accompanying comment from Not Cortana (John won’t say anything because he’s been returned to the Player Avatar state) to be sad or snide.
They could have had the central plot of the sixth main game revolve around the dynamic between Cortana and John, and how tragically messed up it is. Cortana views John as a romantic partner, her other half, her constant companion. She’s possessive of him, and wants to make a world where he won’t have to suffer through anymore war. But, John views her as his sister. Like the SPARTAN-IIs, she was born and raised with a purpose, and had been left as a relic of a bygone decade, a tool to be used, reframed, and ultimately discarded or obfuscated. He knows her rampancy is an unjust fate, and that she doesn’t need a bullet, she needs help. Eventually John finds a fragment of Cortana, split during their fight with the Didact and isolated within the Domain. This IsoCortana and John can talk, and work out where everything went wrong, and how to handle and grow past their traumas. The final confrontation with UrCortana could be big, emotional, and heart-pounding as - well, I don’t know what could happen, but something that ties together the themes of the trilogy, and brings the characters together in a bared-heart sort of way. Something meaningful. Anything meaningful.
But.
Nope.
Cortana is deleted. Supreme Leader of the Created, nigh unto a God, deleted without a trace by “something”, probably a precursor, likely The Primordial. Why? Because a minority of loud, mouth-breathing fans didn’t like that “Cortana was evil” now.
No character resolution, no story impact, no emotional send off. Nothing.
Just a blue Replacement Goldfish that winks-and-nods at the audience that she’s not the REAL Cortana, but that’s okay, because as long as the dynamic is superficially the same, the Halo Fanboys™ literally will not notice.
So there you go, up-and-coming writers and directors. If a handful of jerk-offs and cuckolds don’t like how you’re writing a sequel series, just trash it! Throw it all away! Get rid of everything new and original, everything you’ve put work into developing!
Who cares if despite the rough start it was showing real promise and opened up avenues, FIVE WHOLE ASSHOLES got mad! Better throw it all out and retread the plot of the original again!!
I am fucking disappointed in their cowardice.
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OPEN SKY Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
“…And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that’ll help you fly.”
(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others’ expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.
Maybe this plan could work after all…
PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)
GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex (nothing explicit tho), dark themes, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, toxic relationships, Strong language (Courtesy of King Lord Explosion Murder 💥), Manga Spoilers.
STATUS: On going
Masterlist \(￣︶￣*\))
6- Have We Got a Deal?
✒A/N:
I rewrote this chapter like three times, and hopefully, now it turned out better. I read my progress again a couple of weeks ago and it was simply, not right. I hated it so much that I decided to delete it and work again on it. The essence is the same of what I planned for this chapter and although it is a bit longer now, I took the chance to get into more detail about certain things and express better about others. The conversation between Reader-chan and Kaguya may have become a bit deeper than it used to be, but I really liked the outcome and gave me more ideas for the future plot. That's all for now.
Hope you enjoy it! q(≧▽≦q)
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So, my dear sweet cousin, do you accept or not?
“W-Wait a minute! You can’t be serious, do you- do you understand the implications of what you’re saying?!” You said incredulously.
“Of course I do, why do you think we are here?” Kaguya said while she took another canape and bit it. She chewed slowly while you watched her attentively, the dread in your stomach growing by increments, exasperated for her to continue. She finally swallowed and took a sip of wine.
“So? Would you care to explain what on earth is actually happening, because you don’t expect me to believe that the cause of such an unprecedented change is because of some internet gossip” You said in a demanding tone.
“Of course it’s not, but if you are patient enough I’ll explain it to you with pleasure, so you better watch your tone with me, brat.” She hissed.
You puffed out your cheeks but nodded in cue for her to continue.
“Approximately three days ago grandmother convened a last-minute meeting in her abode to discuss this problem. At first, I thought she was overreacting about this whole ordeal, after all big corporates and companies are attacked and critized all the time, but after a long, long discussion, we all agreed that the situation should not be taken lightly and it needed to be addressed as soon as possible.”
“That bad it is?” You asked slightly concerned.
“Unfortunately,” Kaguya answered. “Walls covered in graffiti in Kyoto, people protesting and messing with the employees at the ER main entrance in Hosu, broken windows in Deika and thousands and thousands of emails and nasty messages in all our social media accounts. We had to hire the services of a whole publicity agency so they could deal with the problem, hardly. It has been difficult to contain, but it paid off because it hasn’t been leaked into any important newscast. Internet, the origin of the problem, has been another story, unfortunately, in these cases, it can be very difficult and unforgiving to work with; once something enters, is nearly impossible to pull it out and if you succeed there’s always a risk it would pop up anywhere when you least expect it.” Kaguya said while she rubbed her temples.
“Internet is a huge source of news and information for thousands of people nowadays, even millions, fake or not, and also the main responsible that this situation slipped out of control faster.”
You contemplated your next words as you soaked in all the information you just were provided with, so you could express your ideas and queries as clear as possible. “Okay…but why is everybody so angry about our current family situation? I get it’s messed up, but why go as far as vandalize privite property and nag about it on social media?” You asked slightly hesitant.
“As an institution, we had always presented and preserved ourselves as a family, working to, and for the Japanese families generation after generation, no matter where we went, we always went together, always radiating the image of a happy, healthy, and unified family. Throughout the time several members of our family had made multiple presentations in public inspiring kindness and charisma, earning the trust and love of the people, which is impressive considering the heavily hero centered world we live in. Now that there are strong rumors putting all of these apparent facts into question, some people feel mocked, disappointed, and cheated… besides other things.” Kaguya mumbled.
“Sorry I could not listen the last part Kaguya.” You said puzzled.
“Don’t worry, I was just talking to myself, the important thing is that the problem is been solved, millions will be invested but is necessary. We have already started a huge ad campaign, a lot of important heroes will be involved so we can reassure and remind people why we have been their number one choice during over a century, that we still the same and will always remain the same, that we do not change, we improve.”
“I see, but you haven’t explained what does this have to do with me going to U.A-”
“As I told you she decided to make exceptions, due to the unusual situation we are going through right now we need unusual solutions as well and as part of our ad campaign and for the sake of our image she decided that two fortunate souls would have the chance to pursue a carrier of their choice, you know to placate the masses.”
“ Of course, a different series of factors would be taken into account when examining the option chosen and its potential benefits for the interests of the company, if these results are not satisfactory, the other alternatives will be analyzed to find a more suitable one and the aforementioned process will be repeated. Once we find satisfactory results, grandmother will proceed to revise everything once more and give her approval or deny it.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that we are doing the same thing but with more options? And they are going to evaluate if we can actually perform well in these new career options?” You asked unimpressed at your grandmas’ unwillingness to let the leash lose a bit even in a situation like this.
“Exactly right, it’s a change but there are still rules nonetheless.” Kaguya affirmed as she refilled her cup again. “Don’t get me wrong, she is really mad, just the thought of sacrifice two pawns in one single move is driving her crazy”
“Which selection system will be used in this case?” You asked.
“Nominations. As you already know there are two potential candidates, besides you of course.”
“Two? But there’s other three-”
“Aya has already been selected by grandmother herself, he’ll be enrolled into U.A next year via recommendation, everything is ready and processed the only thing left is to break the news on him.”
You grimaced, anxious, and preoccupied to see your already thin chances narrow even more. Your cousin, Aya was a famous vlogger and influencer with a strongly settled fanbase in and out of Japan. His videos generally focus on his daily life, trips to cool and exotic destinations, and the typical ‘eat this’, ‘do that’ challenges that always went around the internet.
He also participated in different campaigns to raise funds for different charitable causes and was a fervent advocator of animal rights and the environment, even donating millions from his own pocket. He always did his best to involve the name of the (L/N) Group, allowing them to organize, participate and sponsor some of these events helping bust their image as a caritative, conscious, and woke organization.
The bastard overflew with kindness and charisma and knew how to surround himself with the right people to manage his channel properly, although no relatable for the regular mid-class YouTube user, you had to admit that his videos were fun, entertaining, interesting, and sometimes, informative, that was the reason they were always flooded with millions of views, comments, likes and overall the crushing success he was experiencing every time he uploaded a new one.
He’s rich, famous, handsome, and had an appealing personality, add hero to that list and you’ll get the recipe to success. It wouldn't surprise you at all if he reached the top 10 of the HBC in a year just out of sheer popularity. His quirk is also fitted for a hero, he’ll need some serious training, but nothing that money and elite PT could not manage.
“How am I supposed to compete with that?” You whispered with your head down watching how your knuckles turned whiter as your hands crinkled your uniform skirt.
“Don’t trouble yourself with what you’re not supposed to, Aya is not competition, not anymore, instead try to focus on the actual competition, and may I add that you got a really big chance with my brother out of the picture. Kaguya smirked at you confidently.
“You think so?” You asked doubtfully.
“Believe me (Y/N), my sister is really smart and competent, but has the charm and social skills of a cardboard box, and Himeko, well… we could resume all her virtues, abilities and skills to shopping, makeup, gossip, selfies, social media, being pretty and an absolute headache. Grandmother got big plans for her after she graduates though, so I’ll take her out of the picture as well.”
“Big plans?” You said arching your eyebrow.
“Let’s say that, right now, we have a great, juicy, and very convenient deal that is in negociation right now and she is a vital piece to close it successfully. Don’t worry, your curiosity will be satiated soon enough.”
“What worries me is that I think I got a grasp of what you’re talking about.”
“Aw. Come on, businesses are businesses (Y/N), C’est la vie.” She said as she shrugged uninterested.
“Yeah, because is not you.” You grumbled.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, why don’t you continue.”
“You are right, where we were? Oh, right.”
‘Was she really just dismissing the topic like that?!’
“Tell me (Y/N), do you think that I would have brought you here and propose this plan to you if I didn’t have an ace up my sleeve? Please. There are some important and positive points that can grant us success if we exploit them properly, but we must play our cards wisely, unfortunately, that’ll have to wait until we are completely alone.” Confused your arched your eyebrow, until your ears were met with the sound of the wheels of a certain golden cart rapidly approaching.
“Hello again ladies, let me take this off,” Hiro said while he took the almost empty canape plate along the rest of the dishes. “Is there anything else you would like? Would you like another beverage (L/N)-sama?” Hiro said looking at your semi voided glass.
“Y-Yes please”
“Alright!” With the swift and skill of years of experience, Hiro served your plates, removed the shiny silver food covers, refilled both water cups and Kaguya’s wine cup as well in less than a minute. “Please enjoy, if there’s anything else you would like I’ll be happy to assist you! I’ll be back in a minute with your drink miss.”
You spent the next couple of minutes in total silence waiting for your drink in order to continue your conversation privately and interruption-free. Just as said, Hiro returned instants later with the promised drink and finally left you two to converse calmly.
“Well, now that the coast is clear, let me fill you up with what you have to know and do in order to obtain a favorable outcome for both of us.” Kaguya began as she sliced a bite of quail breast.
“So, this is my plan…”
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Now with your dinner night already finished, you were now heading to your house. This ride was as quiet as the one to the restaurant, but without the suffocating weight of uncertainty. Your head was filled now with the echoes of your conversation with Kaguya, debating, analyzing, considering, comprehending every single word of it.
“You seem troubled, you are doubtful, aren’t you?” Said Kaguya interrupting your thoughts.
“I’m more scared than anything if this doesn’t work-”
“It will, you already know what to do, just focus on that. I’ll keep in contact with you anyway, in case of emergencies or any last-minute matter.” She then proceeded to rummage in her purse and took out a brand-new phone, it was one of those not so high-quality flip phones that you can get for a really low price, probably a disposable one.
“I already put my phone number in it, so we can communicate without issue. This phone is a really basic one, so it has no internet access but you have unlimited calls and texts. Just make sure to keep it hidden from your mother or that blabbermouth maid of yours.”
“Yes, I’ll find a place.”
“Perfect, remember, the announce dinner will be this Saturday, surely your mom would tell you, everybody will be there, they must at least.”
Another twenty minutes passed before you were at the main door of your lavish home. Silently, you excited the car after Soichiro opened the door for you and you headed to the front door.
“We’ll keep in contact, until then, (Y/N).” Kaguya said softly, once she finished Soichiro shut the door, bowed his head, and wished you a good evening. He straightened up his posture and proceeded to hop in the car again. Quietly you observed the car get farther and farther until it disappeared. You stayed there in silence, while the nightly wind swayed your hair delicately. The sound of the door opening distracted you, then, you turned around to be met with the gentle smile of Nobu-san.
“Okaerinasai, (Y/N)-sama, how was your dinner with Kaguya-sama?”
“Pretty…unexpected.” You looked everywhere, making sure that nobody else was listening to your conversation. “I’ll fill you out on the details later” You whispered and Nobu-san nodded knowingly. “I see, your bath is ready (Y/N)-sama. Please take your time and relax, it’s been a long night after all,” He got slightly closer to you and cupped his hand around his mouth, and whispered. “I’m pretty sure you’ll make good use of this time to ponder any thought that is troubling your mind.” He distanced from you, crossed his arms behind his back, and gave you a gentle closed-eye smile. “Would you like a cup of tea after your bath?”
You smiled at him fondly.
“(F/T/F), please.”
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You’ve been lying if you said that you could actually sleep the night before. Your head could not stop to reproduce in a loop your conversation with Kaguya the night before, like a broken record you couldn’t escape from. Before you noticed, the outrageous melody of your alarm resounded in the spaciousness of your room. You groaned in protest, unwillingly getting up to start your day.
Dressed and ready, you took your bag and went downstairs to have breakfast. Before you could finish hopping down the stairs you caught a glimpse of your mother sitting at the head chair, like always with your father by her side, she was holding her morning coffee while she read some emails on her laptop.
As always she looked stunning in her soft pink and golden outfit, she crossed her legs, put down her cup and started typing in her laptop.
You straighten your posture the best you could and approached the table with delicate steps. “Good morning mother, good morning dad”
“Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” Said your mother without taking her eyes off the screen in a somewhat flat tone as her fingers tapped nimbly over the keyboard. “Pretty well, and yourself?” You said while you took a seat at the innecesarily expansive dinning table.
“Not so well sadly, there’s been some… issues I had to take care of.” She hissed a bit irritated as she rubbed her temples.
“I-I see, hopefully, you’ll have a better day today, mother.”
“I doubt it, unluckily, but thank you for your words, darling. Now hurry up or you’ll be late.”
“Yes, mother.”
“You should have some fresh fruit honey; the mangos are delicious!” Said the cheerful voice of your father. You smiled fondly at him while he reciprocated with a smile of his own. “I’ll do then, thank you for your suggestion dad.” You answered while one of the maids served you a portion of fresh mixed fruit in a bowl and Nobu-san poured tea in your cup.
“(Y/N)” Spoke your mom.
“Yes, mother?”
“Your grandmother had organized a family dinner this Saturday that we must assist, of course, I expect nothing less of you than be on your best behavior, also is imperative that you choose your outfit today so I can determine if it’s appropriate for the occasion. If you need to go shopping just tell Sasaki, I activated your debit card again just this time.” She said authoritatively.
“Yes mother, I’ll do it today after class.” You said as you topped your fruit with some honey, yougurt and granola.
“Splendid, now if you excuse me, I have to go now, Haru, hurry up or we’ll be late”
“Yes, cara mia” Your father beamed. Your mother then rose from her chair took her handbag and draped her coat over her shoulders. Your father then finished his coffee as soon as he could and went behind her. “Have a good day princess!” Exclaimed you dad. “Thank you, you too!” You answered while you saw them get escorted by an army of bodyguards.
Soon enough the door was closed and you were left alone. “(Y/N)-sama I advise you to hurry as well, school starts in thirty minutes” Said the familiar voice of Nobu-san. “What!? Oh, I’m going to be late! Ok, I got this! I’ll brush my teeth and I’ll be ready-please ask Sasaki-san to start the car! I will be there in a minute!” You stuttered while climbing up stairs.
“Sure thing, Ojou-sama,” He said with an amused smile.
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“Thank you again for joining me for shopping Momo”
“Oh, it’s no trouble at all, I’ll also take the chance to buy some new accessories as well,” Beamed your ravenette friend. It was the end of the school day and you had asked Momo to help you choose new accessories to complement a dress you already had.
“But to be honest I never imagine that your mom would lose her grip on you so soon even if it’s temporary, what surprised me more was what Kaguya-san told you yesterday,” She whispered trying to no let your conversation be known by Sasaki-san although the automated partition window was up as a precautionary measure. “Are you sure you can trust her?” She said concerned.
“I still don’t know, suddenly everything became so complicated, I mean her plan is good and has a high probability to work, and right now I don’t have a better option, I don’t even have any options, to begin with!” You groaned, confused.
“What’s still bugging me is why is she helping you in the first place? I can’t help but find it suspicious no matter how much I think about it. Did you ask her something about it?”
“I did, but she went into this mysterious and enigmatic mode and just said something like ‘You’ll know soon enough’ It would be easier to pinch a glass than get something out of her.” You said with a tone of frustration.
“I guess that the only thing we can do now is to wait and see,” Sighed Momo while she shrugged her shoulders. “By the way, what are we going to do first?” She said more animatedly.
“Let’s start with the shoes and then maybe a new jewelry set, a new clutch as well would be good. What you think?”
“I think is a splendid idea!” Momo exclaimed.
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Clarity in the Cancellation Crusade
After posting multi-paragraph comments on a couple different things that have popped up in my feed recently, it seemed like I should probably just sit down and write this out.
“Cancel culture.” Crazy shit, right?
The recent onslaught of cancellations includes Mr. Potato Head, Pepe Le Pew, a handful of Disney movies (Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Aristocats), and *audible gasp* Dr. Seuss. The Muppets also got a newfangled Disney+ content warning, though I’ve seen significantly fewer headlines about that.
The thing that inevitably happens when the news media decides to publish a headline about a children’s toy or book being “canceled” is a veritable parade of social media complaints about how sensitive people have become. I saw this particular post over 10 times in the period of a couple hours one day last week…
The question I’ve been asking recently when I see posts like that is this: “Who do you think cancel culture is?”
Because “cancel culture” isn’t real. In the majority of the cases currently making headlines, the choice to remove a character from a movie or stop publishing a book has been made by the company responsible for that character or book… and that is very much a normal thing companies can choose to do.
No one I’ve posed the above question to has overtly mentioned “Libtards,” but it’s certainly implied. People who haven’t read a Dr. Seuss book in 20 years are now suddenly all up in arms (literally?) because “the Liberals” are coming for “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.”
The Liberals are not coming for Dr. Seuss. They do not care about a potato toy. Also, nothing is happening to the Cat in the Hat. I repeat: NOTHING is happening to the Cat in the Hat.
The choices to stop publishing that book and to market a vegetable toy in a less gendered way were made by the companies responsible for producing those products… not the Liberal “cancel culture” ghoul. In fact, it’s really, really hard to find public outcry about any of the things that have been recently “canceled.” There was a single NYT article that recently discussed the problematic nature of the Pepe Le Pew cartoons… that said, Warner Bros hasn’t aired that show in decades and it is not clear whether that article had anything to do with the skunk’s scene being removed from the new Space Jam movie.
Even growing up I remember things like political correctness needlessly becoming a partisan issue. When we fall into that media trap, all we’re doing is watering the plant of an already poisonous and ineffective two-party system. Be bigger than that temptation. Push back against media intended to further divide Americans. If something stinks, it’s probably rotten. Sure, there are certain topics that fall under the umbrella of political correctness that sound alarm bells for censorship issues… but didn’t everyone’s mom tell them that if they didn’t have anything nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all?
Again, though, the most important thing to remember about this recent wave of “canceling” is that censorship concerns are moot. A person who owns a thing is legally allowed to do all the censoring they want. It’s not the government that has decided to stop publishing 6 books written by Dr. Seuss… if it were, we could have the censorship conversation. These changes aren’t happening because there is a Democrat in the White House. They’re happening because the company who makes these products, has for whatever reason, decided to take a different approach.
In the case of the Dr. Seuss books, Dr. Seuss Enterprises re-evaluated their choice to publish 6 books based on racist themes and images. I have only heard of two of those six. The image below is, in my opinion, objectively problematic:
The fact that a major company behind such a well-known name has seen that something is problematic and has decided to stop publishing the books containing overt racist images is awesome. It sets a great example that we can all learn from. Humans have an amazing capacity to learn… that’s one of the only reasons we are in charge here on Earth. If we fall on ice once, we are often more careful on ice the next time. When we see that something is racially problematic, it’s a good thing if we can take action to get that thing out of rotation. More on that later.
Fundamentally, what is happening right now in Media Land is gross sensationalism.
“Cancel culture” isn’t real. Should people face consequences if they say or do racist things? Yes. We should all agree on that. Should we stop publishing books that perpetuate racist stereotypes? Yes. There are plenty of non-racist books that provide an education about racial differences without the added (exceedingly inappropriate) zing of Asian characters being painted yellow and African characters being given monkey features.
If you’re not convinced that some of Dr. Seuss’s material is racially problematic, I encourage you to pop on over to Google to check out the series of ads he did for FLIT in the 1930s. Yes, it was the 1930s. In the last 90 years, we’ve learned that images like that are not okay… let’s use that knowledge to let old racist graphics die.
Still can’t accept that “cancel culture” isn’t real? Still feeling like there’s something in the air now that is different and worse than before?
Okay, then, let’s consider it further.
Things have been “canceled” by people for millennia… this isn’t new. Being all for cancel culture when Colin Kaepernick kneels for the anthem (a perfectly legal form of peaceful protest considered respectful by many veterans) but opposing cancel culture when it’s threatening to eliminate an obviously racist thing is not exactly a moral stance. Burning your Nikes in the street but then turning around and spending $400 on a copy of “If I Ran the Zoo” on eBay after Dr. Seuss’s own family has pulled it from publication due to racist imagery is… silly.
The same people who seem to be so vocal about “cancel culture” now are part of the same communities who tried to cancel plenty of things in my lifetime. Things like trick-or-treating, Harry Potter, school dances, books and movies with LGBT+ characters and themes…
History absolutely bubbles over with things that have been canceled… often for good reason! Some examples that come to mind:
DDT
the Catholic Church (see the 16th century Protestant Reformation)
doing our everyday poopin’ in outdoor holes
polio
hoop skirts
phrenology (new science cancels old science like every damn day)
Ford Pintos (not to mention cars without seatbelts)
telegrams and rotary phones (replaced by easier and better ways to communicate)
lead paint
asbestos
Four Loco
Y’all remember when we all did the ice bucket challenge to cancel Alzheimer’s?
Learning that something is problematic and moving past it is LEARNING… not cancel culture. Learning and growth are good things. We all benefit from them.
Another thing worth commenting on from that Cat in the Hat post that circulated in my Facebook feed: why do we consistently demonize sensitivity? Racism feels like something we should all be sensitive about. If being sensitive about something results in meaningful change and a less hateful country, isn’t that… good? Why do so many Americans seem to place so much value on their “freedom” to hurt others?
And don’t get me started on comparing this stuff to Cardi B. It boggles my mind that that’s happening at all. Why is there suddenly so much outcry about one song that features female genitals in a literal ocean of songs that feature male genitals. I grew up knowing every word to songs about sex well before I even knew what sex was. Your kids are only desperate to listen to WAP because they know it makes you squeamish. And take a second to think about why it makes you squeamish. Genitals are human and scientific and we literally all have them. If you have more of a problem with WAP than with any of the other 10,000 songs about dicks and sex, you need to spend some time examining why that is.
Here’s another post I’ve seen bouncing around the social media feeds:
Something about this is just plain hilarious to me. Like what are racism and rape culture if not THE REALEST issues? This country’s problem with systemic racism runs so, so deep and is reflected very plainly in centuries of cold, hard numbers. It’s not that I *think* systemic racism is a problem. The data very clearly shows that regardless of what white people think about race in this country, systemic racism absolutely IS a problem. Racism and rape culture, arguably at the root of the most recent canceling spree, are not just real issues, they’re real American issues. They’re cultural issues. And solving cultural issues is not easy. We know that these issues have been passed down through the generations so maybe changing children’s toys and books and shows isn’t such a bad thing to try. There is SO much work to do to address racism and rape culture in the United States, but small steps are still progress.
If choosing to stop airing a show that blatantly perpetuates rape culture means one less young person is stalked or assaulted or raped, that’s worth it, no? What if that one young person who doesn’t become a victim is your daughter?
If choosing to stop publishing a book with racist themes and images leads to even one kid understanding more about the nuance of race in America and the breath-taking extent of white privilege, that’s worth it too.
Would I rather the media spend time and money to bring American attention to bigger issues associated with this nation’s racism and rape culture? 100%. There are ENORMOUS fish to fry. Dr. Seuss is not an enormous fish. Potato head toys are not enormous fish. Pepe Le Pew is not an enormous fish. They’re not even big fish. They’re small. They’re tiny fish. They’re anchovies. But frying some fish is better than frying no fish.
Canceling Pepe Le Pew is not hurting anyone. Warner Brothers owns Pepe Le Pew. Warner Brothers owns nearly everything; they are not hurting for money. And canceling Pepe certainly isn’t hurting American kids. There are plenty of other kids’ shows to watch that are significantly less problematic. Just because you watched Pepe Le Pew and went on to be a properly respectful adult doesn’t mean there aren’t other kids out there who did internalize a harmful disrespect for consent. No, Pepe Le Pew probably isn’t single-handedly responsible for anyone’s decision to stalk or rape anyone else. But could a show reinforce the groundwork that ultimately leads a kid down a path where he is unable or unwilling to respect the boundaries of others? I mean, it’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard this week.
Canceling six total Dr. Seuss books that are already pretty obscure is not hurting anyone.
Changing the name of an already genderless potato toy to reflect that genderless-ness is not hurting anyone.
A brief recap: racism and rape culture are very real, very American issues.
If the decision to stop doing a thing doesn’t hurt anyone and may even save someone some hurt, why does that decision bother you?
Also, in all your frantic Facebook posting, make sure you are differentiating between “cancel culture” and consequences. When the media tosses around the phrase “cancel culture” it has this tone of finality that is, plainly, not realistic. Fads and trends move so quickly in the internet age that the idea that a group of people could “cancel” something permanently is just not possible. People who do or say racist things, though, should face consequences. People who do or say transphobic or homophobic things should face consequences. Consequences are one of the only ways we learn to do better. And again, that’s not my opinion, it’s science.
One of the consequences that can have the most impact is, you guessed it, losing money! In this capitalist hellscape, money talks. Boycotting and choosing how we spend our money are some of the most engaging ways to combat racist and homophobic garbage. When you have your temper tantrum because the company who owns a book with overtly racist imagery decides to stop publishing that book, that speaks volumes about your priorities. If you respond to that company’s decision by buying the book in question on eBay for $400, that speaks even louder volumes. What are you doing? WHY are you doing it? I’m guessing you don’t even know, and you should probably spend some time thinking about it before you flush away a chunk of your stimmy on a freaking RACIST KIDS’ BOOK.
All actions have consequences. All of our choices never affect just us. How we vote affects other people. How we spend our money affects other people. Spending our money on things that are problematic perpetuates the problem… whether it be racism, rape culture, homophobia, or transphobia… or so many other things this country desperately needs to address.
It’s human to not like change. Change is going to happen, though, regardless of whether or not we’re comfortable with it. In the information age, we have a remarkable opportunity to steer that change. Leaving behind racist relics is change, so it may be inherently uncomfortable. But change that moves our country away from racism and rape culture is GOOD change.
I am begging you. Use critical thinking… if you’re seeing a headline about something being canceled, look up WHY. Some of these headlines are absolute bunk… they’re shared just to get people all riled up and create American division. However, just like we *should* cancel lead paint, a children’s book with overtly racist images shouldn’t be published anymore and it’s weird if you disagree with that. Disagreeing with that decision, as silly as it may seem, perpetuates racism. I know how triggered y’all can get when someone suggests you might be perpetuating racism, but it is what it is. Do your research. Don’t spend your money on racist garbage. Be better.
I feel like this post is me just barking the exact same thing in different ways, but I also feel like there is so much more I could say.
I’ll leave you with this:
What will it take for Americans to weigh the threats of racism and homophobia the same way we weight the threat of lead paint? If it’s a matter of costing lives, well, the numbers speak for themselves.
#cancel culture#cancellation#racism#rape culture#the muppets#pepe le pew#dr. seuss#seuss#consequences#change#mr. potato head#potato head#cancel culture isn't real
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You Hate Halloween- Sam Winchester Holiday
A/N: Hello friends! Well, the holidays are drawing nearer once again and although this year has been anything but normal, I don’t see why we still can’t imagine better circumstances!
I’m going to start a holiday masterlist, as we get closer to each holiday. Requests for this series is open and will have a separate masterlist, with stories featuring Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack, as well as several other fandoms! Please send in any requests and I will be writing my own holiday themed stories, too!
Side note: I love this new photo of Jared that was released as he begins filming Walker! The hoodie inspired me to write this fic, so please, enjoy!
Summary: Sam surprises the reader with a pumpkin-themed date.
Warnings: Nothing but fluff!
Word Count: 2,497
Main Masterlist| Holiday Masterlist
Holidays for the Winchester brothers were just your average days, usually with a hunt or two and a just simple nod to whichever holiday happened to come up. To Sam and Dean, ever since they were children, their work came first, nothing more important than that. But everything changed the year you showed up. When the holidays began to draw closer, the boys couldn’t help take notice of how excited you got. To you, they were important days of celebration and a time to reflect on the year that just finished.
It was nearing the end of October and despite protesting from both brothers, you couldn’t help but spread out a few decorations around the Bunker. Jack had taken quite a curiosity to everything about the holidays from your obsessive discussion of celebration. It took a lot of persuasion on both yours and Jack’s part, but you convinced Dean to allow you to decorate. Pulling out box after box of lights, pumpkins, friendly ghosts, spiderwebs, and the occasional witches’ hat and black cat, you and Jack both got to work, with the added side grumble from Dean and the extra help from Cas. Once everything was set up and you took the time to enjoy your work as you head back to your room, you couldn’t help but wonder what happened with Sam. It was odd, he wasn’t around for any part of the decorating, nor was he around to join in on the grumbling.
“Hey, Dean, where is Sam? He hasn’t been around today?” You ask the eldest Winchester, who was grabbing a few beers from the fridge and handing one to you.
“Oh, Sammy? Um, he’s fine, I think. I’m not sure though, he said he had some things to work on; probably just researching like he always does,” said Dean as he shrugged and left the room.
Something wasn’t adding up to you here, Sam doesn’t just disappear without telling you first. You two were those kinds of friends; always told each other everything. You even made sure to tell each other where you would be so you could check up on the other if things went bad. All it took was one hunt gone bad and it was Sam’s idea to stay in touch with you all the time, for your safety.
You wandered around the Bunker, looking to find any clues as to where the youngest Winchester maybe, that is until you found your answer.
“Y/N, there you are, I’ve been looking for you,” Sam says, coming into your room after you decided to just leave him be and give up your search.
“Me? I’ve been looking for you! Where have you been?” You ask, ecstatic and worried in your voice.
“Oh, yeah, about that. I have a surprise for you,” he said, walking over to you in long strides, coming in front of you quickly.
“You have a surprise, for me?” You asked, looking at the much taller man before you.
“Yeah, come with me,” he said, taking your hand as he led you out to Baby. He opened your door, one of the many things he did that you adored before he joined you at the wheel. There was low music playing from the stereo as you felt him reach over and grab your hand, his thumb absentmindedly tracing patterns and leaving goosebumps on your skin. It was small moments like these, that made your heart race. Hand holding or an arm wrapped around you, even how he looked at you so lovingly, was all it took to make you feel as though you were his entire world. As your mind wandered on, Sam had to bring you back to reality, for you had arrived at the destination he had brought you. It was out in the middle of nowhere, nothing but flat land and rolling hills off in the distance. Tall pine trees lined just under the hills and there was what looked to be a farm, by the several cows that were grazing the land.
“Where are we, Sam?” You ask, looking to him who just kept a small smile on his face.
“You’ll see,” he says and guides you across a near-abandoned highway.
You two walked along the highway, following the grass and a wooden fence that was put up to aid in keeping the cows away from traffic. The walk was a bit longer than you cared for, but soon, more life drew in your line of vision, meaning there were other people around you. Drawing closer, you noticed that Sam had taken you to a pumpkin patch. A sign that read Thompson’s Pumpkin Patch was arched across a dirt path, lined with plenty of pumpkins and corn stalks. Dozens of families with children were running about, enjoying all the festivities on the property. Face painting, pumpkin picking, hayrides, bobbing for apples, small fair rides, live music, and plenty of food. Standing in line for tickets into the patch, you looked to Sam.
“Why are we here? You hate Halloween,” You comment.
“I know but you don’t so I thought to make this year special for you. You’ve been working so hard lately and I know how much the holidays mean to you, so I wanted to plan something,” He admitted, sheepishly looking down at his feet.
That alone made your heart flutter in your chest. Never had anyone done so much for you as Sam had done for you today. He normally hated Halloween, especially the scary parts of it, considering he faced those monsters regularly, but when you came to live with him and Dean, he began seeing things differently. You showed him a happier, lighter side of everything and he loved you for it.
“I can’t believe you planned all this for me. Thank you, Sam,” you say, leaning over into his side to hug him, his hand gripping your arm affectionately.
“Anything for you, y/n,” he smiled down at you, just enough for one dimple to pop out on his cheek.
You drew closer to the ticket booth, Sam paying for you both, as your excitement grew stronger.
“So, what first?” Sam asked you, and you knew where you wanted to start.
“Let’s get a pumpkin!” You exclaim, taking Sam’s hand and rushing off to the pumpkin growing in the ground. Sam chuckled as you beamed, looking through the vines of the squashes below you, picking up different ones and examining them.
“What about this one?” You say, pointing to what seemed to be the perfect pumpkin. It wasn’t perfectly round, nor was the stem on the top perfectly straight. But it was beautifully orange and big enough for a great big face to carve into later on.
“I like it,” says Sam, as he goes to pick it up, making sure to separate the vine from the stem.
“I’ll go pay for it and put it in the car, while you go get us some hot drinks,” he says, placing a small kiss on your cheek.
Again, that small act of affection meant a lot to you, knowing that that was Sam’s way of showing he truly cared. He wasn’t one for big romantic gestures yet he made sure everyone knew you were taken. As you watch him leave, you smiled to yourself at how lucky you were to have him. Zig zagging through kids running about, you found a stand that was selling hot drinks.
“Hi, what can I get you?” A middle-aged woman asked with a smile on her face.
“Hi, I’ll take a hot apple cider and a pumpkin spice coffee, lots of cream and sugar.
“Sure, thing sweetie. That’ll be seven dollars,” she said, waiting for your payment as she called your order out to the staff behind her.
You stood off to the side, waiting for your drinks before something surprised you. Jumping and letting out a small squeal, you noticed it was only Sam, who had wrapped his arms around you from behind.
“Geez Sam, don’t scare me like that!” You scold him as he just laughs at your reaction. He turns you back around, rocking you in his arms as he spoke to you.
“I’m sorry baby, but you looked cold standing there so I figured I would just, wrap you up and your reaction was, adorable,” he says in your ear.
“Ugh, you’re lucky I adore you,” you say, annoyance still evident in your voice, but only slightly.
“I am very lucky to have you,” he says just as your order was ready.
“Is that man your boyfriend?” The same lady who took your order asked.
Your cheeks burned bright red at the title of boyfriend but you smiled anyway. “Yes, he is.”
“Well he seems to be crazy about you; hold on to that one,” the drinks were placed in your hands as the woman winked at you before you bid her a farewell.
Handing Sam his cider, he appreciated the hot, bitter liquid as he placed the cup to his lips. You watched as he drank, silently just observing him. Sam was nothing short of attractive and he looked more so like it than ever, you thought. He was dressed in dark washed jeans and what you guessed was a plaid shirt underneath his hoodie. His long fingers stretched around the cup in both hands, as he mimicked a child who had to hold their cup with both hands. For the first time in probably ever, you noticed that his hair was a bit shorter than the normal length of near his shoulders, and he appeared he hadn’t shaved in a while; a full-on beard now warming his face.
“Like what you see, darlin’?” Sam commented, drawing you out of your daydream. His voice lower and with more of a Southern drawl than you were used to hearing.
A blush reddened your cheeks again, as you kept your eyes away from the prodding Winchester.
“Come on, let’s go bob for apples,” Sam suggested, offering up his hand to you once more.
As the day began to wind down, the night air began to grow increasingly cold. Throughout the day, you somehow convinced Sam to do everything with you. From getting his face painted with a little animated pumpkin on his cheek, that you had chosen, to trying all varieties of food that he normally wouldn’t have eaten. He hid from you in the maze, surprising you yet again when you drew too close to his hiding place, and he rode all the rides you had wanted to. There was one final thing you wanted to do before your day had ended.
“Sam, let’s do that,” you say, pointing to a tractor that had an opened trailer in the back, lined with two rows of hays for guests to sit on and fairy light stringed around the trailer and tractor.
He nodded and followed you to the trailer bed, helping you climb up and finding a hay bale to sit on. You two sat next to one another before Sam noted you shivering.
“Are you cold, babe?” He asked the obvious.
“No, no, I-I’m g-good,” you lie in between shivers.
“No, you’re not, you’re freezing. Here,” he says, taking his hoodie off and exposing a small little part of his tummy in the process. Pushing that thought out of your head, you gladly accept his hoodie and place it over your head. Instantly, you are embraced with warmth and the smell of Sam; beer, and whichever cologne he chose for the day. You hummed contently as Sam offered his arm for you to cuddle in.
“But won't you be cold, now?” You asked Sam.
He chuckled as he grabbed the bottom of his plaid shirt, just like you thought he was wearing, and rolled it up, showing the layers that were underneath.
“I wore layers, knowing it was going to get rather cold tonight. I also brought this,” Sam said, reaching into the backpack you didn’t realize he had, and bringing out a blanket.
“You really thought of everything, didn’t you?” You ask, admiring how much work Sam really put into your day.
“Like I said, only the best for my girl,” he says, as the tractor ride began to pull happy families around the patch. Sam’s hand found yours under the blanket, keeping you close to him. As you looked around at the lit-up patch, a beautiful look on your face, as the lights reflected off your wonderment on your face. When your gaze fell onto Sam, you saw how he was looking at you and your heart began to race as he slowly leaned closer to you. His eyes darted between yours and your lips, waiting to see if you would pull away. As you moved closer to him, he finally closed the distance between the two of you, your lips meeting his in a sweet kiss. It was the first kiss you shared, and it was sweeter than any pie Dean would have at home. His lips moved with yours and his hands held your cheeks, keeping you from breaking away too soon. It felt like one of those chick-flick moment kisses Dean always scoffed at, but to you and Sam, they meant something to you. When he finally pulled away, his forehead pressed against yours.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that,” he admits, kissing your lips again quickly.
“I kind of have an idea,” you admit, smiling to Sam, who brought you back to his side.
When the hayride came back to where it started, you and Sam walked back to the Impala, along with all your goodies collected from the day. It was the perfect holiday date you always envisioned having with a boyfriend; Sam must’ve heard you talking about it. Back at the Bunker, Dean noticed you and Sam walking closer to one another, hands intertwined, and he knew you two had finally gotten together. Months of back and forth and denying of feelings drove anyone around you and Sam crazy, that was until Dean pushed Sam into taking you on a date. It was all his idea for Sam to take you on a pumpkin patch date. You made sure you’d thank him for that later, but it was time for you and Sam to spend some special time together. It was late and because you didn’t want to be away from him, Sam decided to sleep with you. Not sex, but actual sleep. Changing into your pajamas, you met Sam in your room, and you both crawled in bed, his arms immediately embracing you.
“Happy Halloween, y/n,” Sam said, as he kissed your head.
“Happy Halloween, Sam,” you snuggled into him.
“I love you,” he said before he drifted off to sleep, a cliff hanger of sorts left floating around your head. You guessed you would have to wait to tell him you loved him too.
Tag list: @fandom-princess-forevermore @tloveswriting @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @thinkinghardhardlythinking @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2 @angeredcrow @spnjediavenger @deansmyapplepie @akshi8278 @thwiso @marvelfansworld @grace15ella
#Sam Winchester#sam#sam x reader#sam x you#sam x y/n#sam fanfiction#sam fic#Sam fluff#Jared Padalecki#halloween#pumkin#pumpkin patch#corn maze#fall#fall vibes#holiday#apple cider#pumpkin spice#ocotober#hoodies#cold
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I kinda wanna hear your thoughts on NiGHTS, if you don't mind me asking. I just really like your speculation/headcanon posts!
I have great affection and great frustration for NiGHTS, honestly.
There’s a lot to love about the series. It’s got exquisite visuals and a really cool concept. While the gameplay isn’t completely my cup of tea, I think it’s a novel innovation. The designs of Nights and Reala, their bond and conflict, are really interesting and Wizeman’s a pretty impressive chunk of cosmic horror. I even feel like some of the dislike of Owl in JoD was unwarranted; yes, he was made the face of the slightly clumsy tutorial mechanism but it’s hard for me to not care a little that Nights, who is privately lonely in ways they seem disinclined to admit to anyone, clearly has some mutual fondness for this fussy bird dad.
But I definitely feel like the games have their problems- and I’ll focus here mostly on JoD because I feel like NiD itself was a pretty minimalist piece flying more on emotion than deep lore and it was successful in that regard.
I feel like JoD in particular struggled to decide if this was a story about Nights and Reala or a story about Will and Helen, and while they could’ve made room for both, it would’ve required more integration than they pulled off, and it ultimately weakens both narratives.
Nights never really meaningfully reaches a conclusion with Reala. They get angry enough to hurt him, feel bad about it, Reala goes on to take their new friends hostage, and Nights gets angry again and, seemingly, finishes Reala off, either personally, or indirectly because their attempt to kill Wizeman would affect Reala too. Even the nature of their sacrifice is hampered here because they don’t really sell us on what it is about Will and Helen that makes things so different. I take issue with the short-lived archie Nights’ comic’s invention about the “two perfect dreamers born once a century” but it at least explains all the hullabaloo about these specific people. I don’t mean that to be callous- but there has to be a reason Nights makes their stand here and now, even if it’s for internal reasons rather than Will and Helen, and we don’t get a sense of why that is.
Will and Helen themselves have the seeds of interesting or compelling problems, but they aren’t really brought home either. The conclusions they make don’t really feel of a piece with the nature of their issues. We don’t really find out what about Helen is ‘fragile’, and you have to read into things to see the contrast between Will’s lonely, ‘abandoned playground’-like second dream and the vibrant potential of his third dream, this fear that if you can’t grow up people will leave you behind in childhood.
JoD takes from its roots in NiD that it is good at evoking emotions. Many of the ‘major beat’ cutscenes land with really impressive intensity and evocative qualities! I can vividly call to mind Nights and Reala’s argument in Delight City or Reala circling Helen menacingly in Memory Forest.
But I feel like the devil’s in the details. Frustratingly often for me, these vibrant splashes of story were followed up by, like... hey kids, it’s time to chase Octopaw around in circles again! This is in-universe and out a completely pointless exercise! Let’s save some Nightopians from Wizeman, never once examining or explaining what Wizeman wants with them!
I try not to gripe too hard on Wizeman’s inscrutability because he as a character at least resonates with it- that he’s only a handful of ominous details in the dark actually kind of works for his character and the jawdropping beauty of the Unconscious Space and Will and Helen’s respective leaps of faith into the sea of darkness is contrasted by a profound sense of unease. Why is this space simultaneously so real and unreal? If Nights lands on a real-world building at the end of the game, sure, they’re alive, but is that a good thing, if they’re inextricably connected to Wizeman and Wizeman seems to be clawing at the veil between dream and waking?
Again, this is not a frustration of I hate these games. It’s a frustration of, I really love these games, but they feel like a vivid concept padded into existence with inconsistent flesh where the most interesting workings of both worlds- the real world emotional problems, and the dream world’s politics and potential fate under Wizeman’s onslaught- struggle because they’re ramming into each other at cross purposes rather than intertwining and facilitating/shoring each other up. There is some unbelievably premium good shit in NiD and JoD both but the experience of those glorious moments is undercut with the disappointment of going straight from that, to, octopaw. Nights do you wanna talk to Owl about how you unhealthily use harassing this octopus as a way to run away from serious emotional talks? No?
All of this has been a big reason why I’m looking forwards to Balan Wonderworld eagerly, because, Balan Wonderworld seems to be doing the spirit of what NiGHTS was as a series, and directly answering some of the problems of JOD. The human-side dynamics are spiced up with the chapters each having their own stars-of-the-day, and we’re digging into more raw emotional territory than stage fright or a nebulous insecurity growing up- just the three released so far are dealing with unexpected catastrophe bringing ruin to months of hard work, an accident leading to medical problems and a sense of betrayal, and the ‘pettiest’ problem, interpersonal rejection, is easily the most heartbreaking because it showcases how little self-confidence that afflicted person had.
Balan’s more mature position as a maestro and a hands-off sort of narrator figure while Leo and Emma take center stage means that I don’t mind as much when the kids get focus- in JoD, while Will and Helen were kids, Nights seemed like a teenager who was disconcertingly willing to throw themselves under the bus for friends they met yesterday and this wasn’t really framed as a bad thing. With Balan, I feel like even if Balan does at some point in the narrative sacrifice himself to advance Leo and Emma, it’d play to very different tropes- the removal of the magic feather or mentor, as a lesson you have to fly on your own.
(and, Balan is an integral part of the Wonderworld itself, and I have reason to suspect Lance would have a vested interest not fully ‘removing’ him even if they at some point separated him from Leo and Emma)
The kids themselves are also shored up in terms of intrigue. I’m really excited for square enix’s involvement, because they’ve produced a few stories that dig at emotions, and taking characters from the stock of, say, Neku and Shiki from World Ends With You, who Leo and Emma have passing resemblance to (a boy who lost a friend and became disillusioned and closed off, a girl who’s ebullient and sociable and more than a little insincere in it, hiding an insecure, lonely core) I think this is very promising.
That doesn’t mean I am abandoning all love for the NiGHTS series or that I think it’s garbage compared to Balan Wonderworld, especially since they have different themes and motifs and one isn’t even out yet, but I think that it’s interesting how, to my eye, the Wonderworld game seems like a sort of continuation or refinement upon JoD- that NiGHTS in some ways seems to be an inspiration bedrock for this new theater adventure.
Ultimately even if Balan Wonderworld is everything I hope for and more, there’s always going to be a place in my heart for NiGHTS, though. (I mean, hell, Nights themselves was an instrumental force in me figuring out my own relationship with gender.)
(and, once the game DOES come out, I feel like I’m certainly not the only one who’s gonna want to write crossover fic.)
TL;DR I love the nightmare jesters from the absolute bottom of my heart but I just wish we had a little more plot to squeeze loose.
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Twisted Karnival - Chapter 7
Stray Kids x Reader
Horror/Thriller/Drama
Twisted Circus!AU
A/N: Hey guys. Sorry it’s been so long since we posted. It’s been crazy in our lives. But here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it. ~Liz
Warnings: Yandere-ish themes. Mentions of seduction, blood, cuts, soul stealing and kidnapping. Possibly more in the future. We also write for 0t9, so Woojin is going to be in this series.
Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction and in no way represents the idols of Stray kids or JYP.
~~~
[Before Reading, check out the Masterlist and profile boards for each member HERE.]
~~~
The blue hue from the circle begins to slowly fade as blood continues to trickle from your wounds. The air fell quiet as Chan stepped forward, standing only an inch away from your frozen body. The men all looked upon you, remaining in their respective places.
“My little puppet, are you okay?”
Chan’s voice rings through your ears like a beautiful melody as you slowly raise your head up to face your new Master. A twisted grin spreads across your face and psychotic laughter falls past your lips.
“Yes, Master Chan. I am perfectly fine.” Your head slowly began to tilt as Chan’s smirk grew wide. The men standing around you began to laugh as they watched your body fall under its new command.
“Well look at that, she’s finally seeing things our way.” Woojin smirked, slowly stepping forward from his position.
Hyunjin and Jisung stared darkly over your newly formed body as evil grins grew across their lips. “She’s even hotter when she’s under our control… damn, I could get used to being called Master.” Jisung snickered. Hyunjin nods slowly. A loud, psychotic chuckle escaping his lips.
Chan turned towards the two of them with a low, guttered growl. “The main one she will be calling Master is me, got it? You may all have an attachment to her, but do not forget that it only adheres to your abilities. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
You sat perfectly positioned on the ground before your new owners, wrists and ankles still bound back. Jeongin skips to you, a grin on his face and his eyes twinkling. He holds his hand against your cheek, tracing his fingers over your features.
"She is beautiful! Felix really picked the best soul to take."
Felix laughs proudly. "Of course I did. I told you she was perfect." He purrs, his eyes drifting over you.
"I call using my little doll first!" Hyunjin steps forward, his eyes roaming your body and a cackle escaping his lips. He lifts up his hands and pulls his attached puppet string, jerking you away from Jeongin and towards him.
Minho growls. "I think I'd like to use my pet first, Hyunjin." Minho pulls on his string and guides you to him away from the psychotic high-wire act.
"I don't think so. This little beauty and I already shared a kiss." Jisung hisses and pulls you to him. "I think I'm entitled to first dibs." He licks his lips, his eyes flashing pink.
"If anyone deserves to use our little plaything first, it's me. The one who chose her." Felix tugs on his string, jerking you to him.
"ENOUGH!" Chan declares in a deep, demonic voice. It rumbles the entire tent, showing the power the boy holds. "As king of the demons and the head of this tribe, I'll be the one to decide who uses our new girl first." Chan lifts both his hands in the air, his string glowing. He moves his fingers so your body moves towards him. Once you reach him, he turns you around and pulls your back into his chest. His arms snake around your body and he leans down, his lips brushing over your ear. "Now, let us find our pretty pet a twisted little outfit, shall we?"
Chan slowly looks about the others, eyes all leering towards the new you. Chan smirks darkly and takes another moment to brush his lips against the cup of your ear. The heavy feeling of jealousy from the 8 surrounding boys makes him chuckle. He slowly leans up, brushing the soft locks to the side of your neck, eyes locking on Felix.
“Felix. I’ve decided that since you are the reason we now have this…" Chan growls seductively against your neck. "...beautiful new addition to our twisted family, you will be the one to prepare her for our next event. I grow tired of seeing these tattered up clothes. She needs something more appropriate, as I said.” He brushes your locks once more, your head voluntarily rolling to the side. “Maybe something…” Before Chan could finish, Felix’s lips began to curl.
“Oh, trust me. I have the perfect outfit for her.” Felix bit his lip slightly as he laughs. Jisung’s eyes growing wide and a softened growl escapes. Chan gently wraps his fingers around your neck, rolling your head in a circular motion testing his new control over you.
“Alright then. If you think you have something that will impress me, I will leave you to it. I demand to see it when you’re done. She will not be seen by any other unless I approve so. Is that understood?” The men stood silently as their leader spoke, quickly nodding their heads in agreement while they continued to watch Chan take full control over you. Jisung’s lips trembled as his thirst for you continued to grow, wishing his hands were the ones touching your neck. Chan smirked softly, slowly releasing his hold on you. You took a shaky breath, quickly falling back to your knees before your new masters. You feel your head involuntarily rise, Felix suddenly standing before you.
“Oh, this is going to be fun. Are you ready my angel?" You gaze into Felix's eyes, a blue highlighted hue falling from the depths of them. Your body slowly rose with his hand as he quickly scooped you up from the ground. Chan’s brow raised watching closely as your body fell into Felix’s chest. Jisung released a low growl, fists slowly tightening as he watched further. Hyunjin's head twitched slightly in anger as he watched Felix turned his back to the crowd and walked out with his doll.
“What the fu- how come Felix gets to have her first? Sure, he found her, but I ki-” Chan quickly stepped in front of Jisung, eyes glowing bright. Woojin rolls his eyes as Jisung tries to stand unphased in front of his boss.
"It would probably be in your best interest NOT to remind me that you've already kissed our new pet. Hearing about it just pisses me off." Jisung’s teeth clenched as his expression fell at Chan's words.
"Sorry to say it boss, but whether you like it or not, it happened. I kissed her before anyone else. Guess the ladies just can't resist me." Jisung smirked, a chuckle leaving his lips.
Chan released a deepened sigh. "I mean it Jisung. And that goes for the rest of you as well. You may all have an attachment to her body, but I am still her main owner, and the head of this Karnival. No one does anything to her without MY permission." Chan slowly turned his head towards the rest of the group as they fell to expressions of defeat. Jisung waved his arm in the air just before folding his hands into his pockets and walking away. Minho, Hyunjin, and Changbin went back to their respective areas, grumbling lowly. Jeongin and Seungmin skipped off back together to rummage through the after effect in the arena.
Once the 7 boys were out of earshot, Chan released another depended sigh. Woojin slowly moved next to him. "You know, I only say this in the most respective way possible, but you won't always have your eyes on that girl. Something is bound to happen behind your back."
Chan runs a hand through his blonde hair. "It's not as if I don't already know that my friend. I know at least three of them, if not all, are going to go behind my back and do something with our pet. With some of their history, I'm afraid of what they could possibly come up with."
As Chan tried to establish some ground with his team, Felix was off in his tent doing whatever he could to make you look like you were a true part of the family. He grabbed a few different clothing items from a giant metal chest, quickly dropping everything to the bed.
"Alright then, time to get these rags off of you and into something more...appealing." Felix's eyes began to glow softly as he spun you around with his string, gently removing the torn clothing from your body. You stood there, body unable to move as a weighted feeling sat over you. Felix smirked heavily, tossing the old clothes aside and grabbing a random piece from the bed. He tossed a black dress over your head, pulling it down the curves of your body. He spun you slowly, eyes roaming up and down.
"Yeah… Cute, but not quite what we're looking for." Felix quickly ripped the dress from your body once more. He paused for a split second, hand slowly gliding over the soft skin of your arms. "You really are something, you know that? No one is given the kind of opportunity you've been given." He speaks softly, almost lovingly. Admiring you, he reaches up to brush the fine hairs off your neck.
Felix examined your body once more, analyzing every curve. He tilted his head slightly looking over at the small pile of clothes. His eyes narrowed slightly just as an idea finally struck him. He quickly grabbed a few red, black and white pieces from the bed and, just like a doll, began to dress you gently.
Felix steps back slowly once the outfit was fully arranged, an evil smirk falling over his lips.
"This definitively says twisted. It fits you perfectly." His eyes turned soft and runs a gentle finger down your cheek. "What do you think, my angel?"
He tenderly turns your body to face the full length mirror. You gasp softly and tilt your head, gazing at your new form. A smile graces your face and you let out a soft giggle. "Oh, Sir Felix. I absolutely adore it."
Felix chuckles lowly and rests his chin on your shoulder. He guides his hand down your bare arm, feeling the now scarred tissue under his fingers. "Excellent. Oh, how I can't wait to show Chan."
#stray kids#stray kids angst#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fanfiction#kpop angst#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#stray kids yandere#chan#woojin#minho#changbin#hyunjin#jisung#felix#seungmin#jeongin#stray kids horror#gaiyo fanfiction#twisted karnival
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Our Do Nothing Day
Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Casey Valentine)
Characters: Bryce Lahela, Casey Valentine, Louis Lahela(OC), Keiki Lahela, Sienna Trinh, Jackie Varma, Elijah Greene.
Rating/Warnings: G/FLUFFY AT ITS FINEST.
A/N: Hi! I am back with a new one, and this is inspired by the legendary show ‘Phineas and Ferb!’ I loved that show so much, and I decide to use one of the songs from the show as an inspo! (I am actually binging P&F songs at the moment lol). I had a pretty rough day with everything that is happening in my life, and...writing really helps a lot and.. writing Bryce especially made a girl happy :) . I hope all of you enjoy it!
PS- Link to the inspo song, Do Nothing Day from Phineas and Ferb! Also, the gif is somehow not from the inspo episode , since the real one can’t be found! I apologize for any grammar mistakes and all! Enjoy!
Tags: @bitchloveskcbaseball , @storyofmychoices , @jaxsmutsuo , @mvalentine , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @kacie-0156 , @simp-for-villains , @annekebbphotography , @brycelahel , @mrsbhandari , @dcbbw , @choicessa , @choices-confessions , @aylamwrites , @fantasyoverreality98
LINK TO MY MASTERLIST
A day off is rare for both of the doctors since they aren’t used to a free day without emergencies surrounding them. They decide to have the day for the two of them since, with Louis being born and their hectic shifts, they haven’t gotten to chance to have much alone time with one another.
The day was early, as the knock on the door was heard. Casey happily opened the door to be greeted with her friends, and a smiling Keiki waiting outside their door. All of her friends made their way inside to the apartment, as they settled in.
‘All of them agreed on watching Louis, as Keiki wanting to spend more time with her nephew. Louis is growing every day, and Keiki had vowed on not wanting to miss a thing after he was born.
Bryce walks into the living room, with 2-year-old Louis fresh out of the bath. He is smiling happily at the sight of the company, especially when Keiki holds her arms out to hold him. Louis accepted her arms happily, as the two of them bond away.
Casey smiles at the sight of them, as her friends are trying to entertain Louis with the help of Keiki. Bryce took a cup of coffee that was made, as his eyes follow her direction.
‘We are really lucky to have them.’
Casey nods, as she took a sip of the coffee once more before she placed it in the dishwasher.
‘We do. Your sister is something else, Bryce.’
A smile appears on his face, as his eyes followed Keiki who is singing along to the nursery rhymes on the television with Louis happily clapping his hands. Sienna and Elijah were singing in harmony whilst Jackie just let out a sigh followed by a laugh at the commotion in front of her.
----------------------
Bryce and Casey said goodbye to Louis and the others, as they started their date for the day. Casey pulls out her phone, as she examined each plan she had for the day while he shook her head at her.
‘They say if you plan. Life tends to end up pretty badly y’ know.’ Bryce stated as he placed an arm around his wife.
Casey shook her head, as she leaned into his touch.
‘Nope, not true! I have lived my life to plan everything, and… it went by perfectly.’ Casey stutters a bit as she walks faster with Bryce besides her who just nodded at her argument.
They made their way to a local theme park she found on the web. She did a few research as she wanted to make this day perfect, for both herself and Bryce. Casey felt herself being optimistic, as she scatters on forward only to be stopped by the long line in front of them.
‘Wha-? How?! I saw the posts, they said people won’t be coming today!’ Casey lets out a sigh as the line in front of them was very very long.
‘Hey, it’s okay. We can do something else, as long as we are together okay?’ Bryce reassures her, as Casey felt a bit better. They left the theme park, as Casey pulled up the list once more to their next destination. The theatre, and unfortunately. All the tickets were sold out as well. She is still standing tall, as Bryce giving her thumbs up in a supporting manner. Moving on to the next destination, the city aquarium. As they said, third time’s a charm, right? But… little did they know, the aquarium was closed for renovations as they arrived at the entrance.
Casey smiles falter as the sign says, ‘Closed for renovations.’ Bryce stopped in his tracks at the sign, as he glances at Casey who is looking disappointed. Casey felt given up, as she sat on the sidewalk. Bryce followed suit, as he sat beside her.
‘You are right as always, ugh!’ Casey lets out a groan and she buried her face in her hands.
Bryce rubs her back slowly before he could say anything. Both of their phones beep in unison, as they took it out at the same time.
Both of them receive a message from their friend’s group chat and Keiki, with various pics of Louis playing with his toys and happily smiling from the pics. One of the pics that stood out to them is the one with Keiki holding Louis in her arms, as he is smiling widely. There was a video attached to the group chat, as Casey played it.
Sienna’s voice could be heard, as she is holding the phone.
‘Hi, Louis, smile for the camera honey!’ Sienna called out to him, as he jumps happily in Keiki’s arms.
Louis was facing the camera, as he jumped happily. Keiki is holding his arm, as a small attempt to wave at the camera.
‘Louis said, have fun to mommy and daddy!’ She said as Louis moves his little arms slowly as an attempt of waving to the camera before the screen fades.
Casey felt a smile appear on her face, as she played the video once more. Bryce did the same, as he pulled her into his arms as they stood silently on the pavement.
‘It’s not your fault Cas, you didn’t know.’ He rubbed her back as she leaned her head on his shoulders.
‘I know… I wanted today to be perfect for us.’ Casey’s voice is small as she lets out a sigh.
‘It’s already perfect with you here okay?’ He reassures her once more as her smiles appear once more.
Bryce’s face lit up as an idea dawned on him. He stood up, as she followed suit.
‘I have an idea, let’s go.’
They drive for half an hour, as they finally arrived at the spot. It was already evening, as they reached the destination. There were parents and kids are having fun, vendors were selling food, and they even had a stage set for performing along with a projector where the kids were watching Phineas and Ferb happily. The place has its charms as Casey’s eyes went wide at the beauty of the whole place.
‘How did you find this place?’
Bryce shrugs as they started to walk towards the entrance. The places weren’t as packed as the theme park, but… the sight of it had made her smile as her eyes traveled through the whole landscape of the place.
Casey was mesmerized by the whole place that she left Bryce behind, as she stopped as smelled the flowers. There was a variety of them, as she took a couple of photos for future-keeping. She turns around, as she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Her head turns, to be meet with Bryce who was holding a picnic basket and a bundle of flowers in his hands. Casey felt her eyes widen at it all.
‘How did this get here?!’ Casey asked in disbelief gesturing to the basket and the flowers. He passed the flowers towards Casey, as she accept it happily.
‘I magically appear it on my own.’ Bryce replies happily as Casey groans at him. He shakes his head, as he walks forward leaving her behind. She immediately runs towards his direction, as he leads them to an empty spot a few feet away from the projector area where the kids were happily watching the show.
The spot was empty, as Bryce pulls out a blanket from the basket. He places it down the grass, as they sat down happily. The sight of it all made Casey happy. The kids running around, as bubbles were floating into the sky. It somehow felt like it was taken from a movie.
Bryce lays out the food, as Casey glances at him with gentleness in her eyes.
‘You are amazing, you know that?’ Casey said as she took a bite from the deliciousness in front of her.
‘Hey, I did what I can. We deserved this, and it feels amazing to just… settled down for a while.’ Bryce said happily as they sat continue eating. After the food is done, Casey lays her head on his shoulders as they watched Phineas and Ferb as the park was doing a marathon of old episodes. She smiled at the sight of the classic show, which is one of her favorites growing up.
‘I remember every detail about this episode!’ Casey said as she is reminiscing her whole childhood through that one episode.
‘Is that so? Tell me what happens next.’ Bryce challenges her, like the scene where the dinosaur slide that Candace is building starts to fly away.
‘Alright, the dinosaur would land at the town’s fair where Candace’s boyfriend, Jeremy, and his band are performing there.’ Casey said with full confidence as she observes the scene closely and, lets out a whoop as she nailed it.
‘Fine, fine. Never underestimate the one and only Casey Lahela.’ He said as he kissed her cheek.
They sat in silence as the song started to play from the episode, which is one of Casey’s favorite song from the whole series. Honestly, all of the songs from the show are amazing, like… good. But, this one stood out to her today somehow, as she is having a good and relaxing day-off with the love of her life as Jeremy sings the lyrics that describe their day perfectly.
Slow down and look around you (all around)
Throw your to-do list away
The clouds look like sheep and vice versa
On a do-nothing day (on a do-nothing day)
On a do-nothing day.
The episode ends with the credits, as the song was played once more. Casey sang along to the lyrics as she reminisces the day they had today… she would learn a thing a two of living in the moment with Bryce. She didn’t worry much as they have a whole lifetime together to enjoy the ride. But, right now.
She took a glance at him, as the world around them fades.
‘This is the best day ever.’ She whispered to him, as he lets out a small laugh at the statement.
‘Are you sure? What about our wedding day? Or… the day Louis is born?’ He raised an eyebrow as an attempt to play with her.
‘It’s in the top-five list alright!’ She lays her foot down with that statement as they are finally ready to call it a day.
The sun is setting, as they made their way back home. It wasn’t the perfect date she had planned out instead, its something entirely different. It was their do-nothing-day and, Casey looks forward to more days like this with her family in the future.
THE END
A/N #2: I hope all of you enjoy it! Thank you so much for reading it! - A
#bryce x mc#bryce lahela#open heart#casey valentine#bryce x casey#anotherbeingsworldwrites#fluff#phineas and ferb
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