Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
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SO I JUST GOT OUT OF THE FNAF MOVIE
mike is Most definitely a man who whimpers
he buries his head into the pillow, soft sobbing because he hasn't felt this good in so long while you softly stroke his cock and/or finger him while whispering praises into his ear
-🌷
Ok but hear me out…
Brat!mike who loves to rile you up with his mouth and will only ever shut up once you shove your cock down his throat, forcing him to keep you inside his mouth for as long as possible, til his jaw aches, throat burns and there’s a puddle of drool on the floor. Another way to shut him up is to grip his throat while he rides your cock, you’ll watch the stubbornness bled away from his eyes and get replaced with desperation as he furiously taps at your thigh.
Brat!mike who likes it rough, whether it be having little to no prep, blowjobs that will have tears spilling down his cheeks and face turning visibly red or til it feels like he’s being speared onto your dick, will even let you put mascara and lipstick on him just so that he can visibly see how you’ve ruined him
Brat!Mike who’ll prevent any noises from escaping his lips as you’re fucking him. Even with ropes of cum painted all over his stomach and hole all puffy and red he still won’t tell you how good you’re making him feel. You can even have him tied up while holding a vibrator against his dick and he’ll still manage to stay silent as a mouse, which only manages to drive you crazy
Brat! Mike who’ll purposely stop while in the middle of giving you a blow job or while riding you just to tease, only for you to yank at his hair or hips and shove him back down onto your dick
Brat!mike who loves to rile you up just so that you can have heated make up sex, will even go as far as to moan the name of someone else while you got your fingers or cock buried inside him, wont stop with his little act til you’ve fucked him so dumb he can no longer speak or think
Brat!mike who’s alright with being denied orgasms but loses his mind at being denied a kiss, you’ll have him whining and whimpering within seconds to put your lips on his.
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So I think I may have cracked the code. Listening to Clara Bow w this context in mind from the 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages makes the lyrics cut even deeper and explains the purpose of the anthology.
What Taylor is essentially saying is that above all else she is proud of her humanity. “Human. Human. Human.” “Flesh and blood.” Unlike some ppl in Hollywood like greedy big suits (cough SB^2 cough Big Machine cough) she’s managed to keep her humanity intact and didn’t let these negative experiences corrupt her or turn her bitter. She was able to find peace and courage in spite of it. And she’s saying I am abt to come out of the closet and while I am hopeful I’m also a little fearful. But isn’t that an amazing thing? Because being fearful, sad, furious, insecure, hopeful—these experiences are unique to humans! “Your heart beats red and hot and furious in your chest.”
“And most importantly, they will know about the human heart.” THIS is the purpose of the anthology. This is why she released 31 (13 backwards) songs for her fans to dissect and decode. Bc she wants them to understand that she’s not a god. She’s a flawed human just like the rest of us.
I think there’s a very good chance that THIS is what her movie is going to be about. Her journey out of the closet and all the hardship that came along w it and helping other ppl to understand the human heart. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a memoir that was released w it—“the professor said to write what you know.” And it makes sense too why the manuscript lyrics match perfectly w the all too well short film. Bc they’re talking abt the exact same thing!! She has a relationship w a much older man, experiences heartbreak, heals, and then writes abt it in a book—the story of us AKA the manuscript.
And this is why 🎃 kept referencing the story of us. I couldn't make sense of it a few months ago but now in hindsight it all makes perfect sense. Message in a bottle was probably a red tv vault track for this reason too. Bc the message in a bottle is the manuscript. The puzzle pieces really do all fall right into place.
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it's 3pm on a friday and i have so much work left, i cant do this rn 😭
Sometimes, I think I’m being a tad too delusional over them, and then the Lestappen scholars uncover something like this and it’s like, yeah no. They’re far weirder about each other than we could’ve ever imagined.
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