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inafieldofdaisies · 8 months

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Ship Art | John Seed x Sabrina Donovan | sketch by @felrija ❤️ || a scene from my WIP In Hope Of Tomorrow, snippet below the cut

"I won't lie, I was planning on killing you." "And yet you didn't. Why?" "A change of circumstances."

It felt like at least 2 hours had passed before the door opened again. Sabrina kept her eyes casted downward as a pair of boots came into view, crossing over the threshold, their owner humming a familiar tune. I know this melody. It was the song she sang in the cell. He was there, listening. The realization made her look up, her hazel eyes met John's as he neared, stepping into the light that spilled from the chandelier above. He was wearing jeans, a blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up and way too many buttons undone, on top of it was a vest that belonged more in a courtroom than in a bunker in the Middle of nowhere, Montana. "Kept you waiting, didn't I, Deputy?" A dark smirk marred his handsome face, his posture exuding confidence, like he was about to slip into an opening statement any moment. Only in this room he had full reign, assuming the role of judge, jury and executioner. "Probably should consider serving some tea, maybe redecorating your dungeon. Red's a bit on the nose, don't you think? And I wouldn't rate your goon very highly on any scale either." The comment made him chuckle, and she tried to ignore how familiar it sounded, how it pulled on her soul. "Now, I'm not usually late, but someone decided to attempt to derail my Cleansing.", at that he unconsciously went to smooth out his dark hair, making Sabrina realize it's damp. Sabrina narrowed her eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching, "Did someone try to drown you, Seed?" Don't laugh again. And he didn't, sending a smirk her way instead. "Now, Deputy, enough jokes, there are more pressing matters.", his head tilted slightly, his expression almost... giddy. "What's a joke is you thinking holding a Deputy hostage is a good idea, you of all people should know it's far from it. Aren't you supposed to be a hotshot lawyer?", she couldn't stop her sneer. "Deputy-" Sabrina cut him off, "I have a name." "Yes. Sabrina Blythe Donovan.", he said it matter-of-factly, but Sabrina could tell he took pride in that knowledge. It didn't shock her he knew her full name, with Nancy being on Eden's Gate side no doubt information about the whole Sheriff's Department was leaking like a sieve. A dry laugh escaped her, "Next you're going to tell me the name of my first boyfriend." John crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow, "Knowledge is power after all. And, Sabrina, you wouldn't be here if you didn't try to arrest my brother. You all had choice and it led to this." She pushed down the feeling at how familiar her name sounded on his lips, the twinge of longing it caused in her was nothing. It had to be.

"There was an arrest warrant. I was just doing my job. Your brother is a criminal, and now so are you and all of your people." "I'm doing MY job, Deputy. You're a sinner and so are your friends.", he retorted, his words full of conviction as he headed for his torture table. Sabrina froze, expecting him to notice a knife was missing, when he said nothing, she continued, "Why am I here?" The words came out sharper than intended, carrying the tone she used when interrogating suspects back in Portland, the one that got her straight answers and stripped away all the nonsense. John turned, a look of amusement flashing across his face as he leaned against the table, legs crossed at the ankles. "I should be the one asking questions here, Deputy." "Old habits die hard, I was a-" "A detective back in", a dramatic pause, he raised a finger, "Portland. And you left it all behind to work for Whitehorse. Can't wait for you to tell me why." "I'm not telling you shit. I don't know what you think you're doing-" John stalked towards her with swiftness that took her aback as he grabbed the armrests of her chair, the force behind his movement making the wheels skid across the floor. His face had grown serious, piercing blue eyes boring into hers as he loomed over her. "You will talk, confess every sin, no matter how small. I know exactly what I’m doing here."

Their proximity sent a shiver up her spine and she tried to tell herself it was the bad kind. He was so close to a point Sabrina could smell the musky scent of river that clung to his skin. He had indeed taken a dive, her amusement at the confirmation died down quickly. His nearness, the position of his hands as he held onto the chair allowed her to see his tattoos in detail for the first time. In seconds her whole world came crashing down, her blood froze. No. She knew these tattoos, had seen them countless times in her visions, had drawn them over and over to the point they were embedded in her memory. NO. The hand holding hers as the world ended. The man that called her "Butterfly". It was John. John fucking Seed. His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, "Hm. A butterfly." He was looking at her tattoo, at one of the butterflies that wasn't hidden by the strap of her top. As if she needed any more reminders of the tragic realization she had just came to, John said the damned word again as he backed away, "Why a butterfly, Deputy?" He was back to being nonchalant, like the outburst hadn't even happened. All she could do was blink, wishing her eyes were lying to her.

"You still with me, Sabrina?", it had finally hit him she wasn't replying, that she wasn't talking back. Breathe. Focus. Snap out of it. "Wish I wasn't, won't lie.", she tried to hold onto her composure. Silence took over as John went back to his table, picking up a tool, looking it over then placing it down with care and grabbing another one, repeating the process. It felt mechanical, like a show. Her own knife felt heavy in her hands, the tip prickling her skin, a wake-up call. She knew what she had to do in order to get back to Savannah, imagined it in the hours he made her wait on him. Plunging the blade deep, ending a life. But doubt was creeping in... Her plan, the dark path she planned to take, there was a chance she would fail, she had seen him alive too many times. And her most recent vision... from the sounds of that one he was breathing and pissed off. John spoke up again, his attention still on the table in front of him, "My brother's church. Let's start there. You saw something." It wasn't a question, he sounded sure of it. She hadn't been able to hide her distress, even tried to stop the arrest. A new path became visible. A plan with a giant leap of faith. Probably the most dumb and risky decision she has ever made in her life. He wanted answers, and she was going to play along. For now. "I will tell you what I saw, but I doubt you'd believe it, they never do." Another smirk, making her feel nauseous. "Try me, Deputy." "I saw the crash. Before it happened, I mean." "A vision.", he nodded mostly to himself, "Joseph has them." "You believe then?" "They're from God. Of course I believe him." John believed Joseph, not her. She was used to people's scepticism, but she had a way to prove it this time. "There's more, John." Something flashed across his face at her saying his name outloud for the very first time, but the mask was back in place too quickly for her to figure out what. Focus. Her mother was good at selling any con, always knew how to approach a person, what they'd want to hear, which buttons to push.

"Say his name. Look him in the eyes and sell the idea, make him think it's his own, darling. There's always an offer a man won't be able to refuse, one he'd throw himself in the deep end for, willingly. And when he's about to sink, you offer a hand, pledge your loyalty. He'd be a goner before you know it."

A part of Candice lived in Sabrina, and for once she let it take over.

"I will tell you what's coming, but I will need something in return.", her voice sounded unshakeable, certain, the exact opposite of how she felt inside. John didn't break her eye contact, nor interrupted her. Sabrina got up from the chair, discarding the ropes as her hands dropped to her sides. "You've been untied this whole time, Deputy?", his eyes shone with amusement again. She took a few steps until she stood almost in front of him, her hand holding out her knife. Surrendering her weapon. "And you had a knife?" When he made no move to take it, Sabrina placed the blade on his "work" bench and walked back, sitting down in the chair and rubbing her wrists. "I won't lie, I was planning on killing you." "And yet you didn't. Why?" "A change of circumstances."

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thebigsl33p · 5 months

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A Safe Pair of Hands

Aleksander Morozova X Reader (can be read as platonic or romantic. Neutral grisha Fem!reader)

Winter in Ravka comes fast. And it stays. It blankets the ground in thick white snow, freezes the soil and puts frost on window panes. The only time it seems to stop snowing in the city is the early morning, just before the sun properly rises, there is always a slight reprieve in the falling snow.

That's when he wakes. Like clockwork, every winter morning. He finds the fire from the night before has long died in the hearth, and the Palace floors are cold beneath his feet, even as he cleans himself and pulls on his dark Kefta and heavy boots in preparation for the day ahead.

By the time the rest of the city wakes, he's already working, his hands meticulously writing letters and commands with a face like stone.

As the early morning sun rises the city swells with sound and smells, of mulled wines and drinking chocolate, sweet nuts and cinnamon. On one street you can hear both the sounds of celebratory folk songs and the wails of an ill child. In the streets and the homes people bundle up as well as they can, food turns from being light and easy to being warm and hearty.

And still, he works.

That is until, his study door is pushed open in a familiar creak and a H/C haired woman walks in with a lazy grin. She's soft and smiling, her E/C eyes are so very alive with a blatant love for life.

"Y/N," The Darkling says her name softly, setting down his quill as she enters the room. She's holding two cups of hot chocolate, one for herself and one inevitably for him. She sets it down on his desk and comes to stand behind him, peering over his shoulder at his work, "Thank you," he uttered.

"No problem." She says nonchalantly, and she leans forward, her fingers gently pulling a map out from underneath the letter he's writing, "Working already? it's barely 8:30, Aleks." she says with a fond, exasperated, sigh.

He responds with his own amused huff, "You know how it is, Y/N." He says simply, running a hand through his dark hair - pushing it off his face in doing so. He feels the chair he's sitting in shift slightly as she rests her arms on the back of it - the only person who could get away with such a thing.

"You working all day?" She inquires, eyebrows raising slightly as she sips her drink.

"Perhaps." His hands reach for his own cup, barely feeling the warmth of the mug for his thick leather gloves, "Depends, really." He says.

"On what?" She tilted her head around to get a better look at him, her eyebrows narrowing in playful inquisition.

He knew her well. Knew, she only ever asked if he was working all day, when she wanted to do something. Something with him, inevitably.

"Depends what it is you want to drag me into now," He said, in mock annoyance, but mostly amusement.

"Oh, cmon it's a lovely day Aleksand-"

"It's snowing."

"A lovely winter's day, then." She folds her arms, leaning down to his ear to teasingly whisper, in a persuasive sing-song lilt, "Os Alta will be a wonder to see in the cold. And you don't get out enough."

"We'll both be stared at like art exhibitions," he answered, gruff and dryly, "Everything we do-"

"Not in the market we won't." she challenged, "Oh, come on Aleksander. One winter market. It'll be good fun, promise."

And that's how he ended up here, his arm linked with hers as they walked through the annual Winter Market. His boots crunched the snow beneath them, his large dark cloak creating a striking figure of darkness in a crowd of bright festive colours. And her beside him, in her (Grisha Colour) Kefta, and her cloak. Without thinking much about it he tucks the hand around his arm into the crook of it and murmurs, half-scoldingly, "I told you to bring your gloves."

She simply hums a soft, half-listening, "Yeah." She's so distracted by the market, the foods, the people, the jewellery, the clothes, the music. It's something she's seen all her life, every winter, but it takes her breath away nonetheless.

"Y/N," he huffs, shaking his head in mock sternness and disappointment.

"What?!" She laughs, turning to face him with a smile, "I'm sorry. I forgot, okay? Besides, I'll be fine. I'll survive." She says with a grin.

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, but absentmindedly caresses her hands in a slight attempt to keep her warm... or warmer than she is.

As the day progresses, he finds himself being dragged to various stalls and stands, Y/N already with coin in her hand to pay for whatever sweet treat she's decided they'll share. ...And for once, he lets her.

And so, they walk back to the Little Palace, arm in arm, with a paper bag of sugared nuts between them, having spent the day snacking on various hot chocolates and mulled wines, reviewing different wrapping papers and potential gifts, trying different meats, vegetables and cheeses with soft laughter as the snow fell upon them.

And now as the sun sets early, they walk back. Her hand is still tucked into the warm crook of his arm, and they're laughing together about something or other. In that moment, he's glad the street is empty. No guards, no nobles, no royals or other Grisha. It's just her and him, and for once, in the snow and in the soft winter dusk, he can simply exist as her Aleksander. Her Sasha.

He knows, that when they get back to the Little Palace, she'll kick off her snow covered boots by his study door - despite his insistence she doesn't need to - and she'll enter his study. She'll throw a few extra logs into the hearth as he takes off his Kefta and hangs it up, before they both take their places on the loveseat by the fireplace.

She laughs at something he says, the snowflakes catching on her eyelashes, in her hair, on her nose. For a moment, he allows himself to feel sentimental - a sudden rush of relief and appreciation for human connection. He leans down, and as her eyes and nose wrinkle in her laughter, he presses a soft kiss to her cheek.

it catches her slightly, and she finishes her laughter with a soft content sigh, gives his arm a slight squeeze, and they continue their winter walk home.

A/N: HI I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN SO LONG!! finally got a new laptop so I am working today, working. Working hard so I can please you. (I'm really sorry if you don't know what this is)

#the darkling X reader #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone X reader #Aleksander Morozova X reader #Aleksander X reader #General kirigan X reader #Kirigan X reader

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hefty-haunches · 9 months

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Hehe- it occurs to me I was thinking Alek when I said Dani, so ofc the Alek lore would be lovely too! Really just adore all these folks, you have a good cast of OCs!

aaa thank you!!

Alek, the original girl of my cast.

Alek is probably the most fleshed out character in my roster, or at least has the most idle world building thrown in around her. Much like my dragon Vera, Alek is another former human within her setting, though this time it was more intentional.

As part of her astronaut training she chose to become a post-human in order to be better suited to her life being predominantly off-planet. This is mostly hand-waived in setting as making them better adjusted to living in micro gravity, genetic makeup being more resistant to radiation, general animal traits that might make them better at different tasks (like being a limber leopard when working in and around equipment). This is usually a bit drawn out, the changes occurring over the course of a few weeks as candidates complete their final courses, having selected a specialization. I came to coining this as "Space Animal HRT" in the time since I started my own transition. That being said, it is very common to see furry post-human folks around both planetside and off world, space program or otherwise.

Alek started off as "Aleksey" for the first year or two of them actually solidifying as a fursona. I ended up keeping this part of em in canon and had Alek go back and transition as well, becoming the Aleksandra of today.

(still one of my favorite Aleksey pics, done by t0ddnet over on twitter!)

Born on the moon and went back to work on the surface post-graduation in a settlement around Mare Nubium (because I couldn't help having a clouded leopard in the Sea of Clouds). Later transferred up to an orbiting station where she works as engineering/maintenance staff, keeping the place up and running.

Work gets busy, rations are plentiful, and all that floating around does a number on your figure even with a compression bodysuit.

Bringing us to probably my favorite shape I've drawn her in myself up until this point. Marshmallow Moon Cat. Soft, round, but still surprisingly limber. Maybe she ought to turn down jobs that involve tight spaces nowadays.

#ask #feyfoxen #alek #leopard #fatfur #PHEW ok this was a long one and I probably rambled way too much

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bakerstreethound · 1 year

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Chasing Shadows

Relationship: General Kirigan (Darkling) x reader

Warnings: swearing, slight fluff, possible hints of nsfw themes (if you squint)

Summary: No Power AU. Aleksander takes you to Toronto away from your everyday working life for a vacation with suprises in store.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, repost, copy or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username)

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: Special thanks goes to @novaracer for encouraging me to post this fic. The concept for this work was based on a Valentines game my friend @french-vanilla-in-the-clouds posted and these were my results, so I decided to run with the idea and form something from it. I hope you all enjoy. As always, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Graphic by @firefly-graphics

You didn’t expect your weekend to be upended in something so unexpected, but Aleks always took you by surprise no matter the time of day. You watch him as he paces by the transparent window, smiling to yourself enjoying both the view and the bustling city life around you. Of all places, he had taken both of you to Toronto, a city bustling and full of life. You were not expecting a fancy hotel suit.

Sure, a nice quiet evening at your shared apartment was nice, followed by a simple dinner and discussing the pains and joys of the day. However, the recent weeks and the hassle of your day to day lives with him at the law firm and you working at the University down the street warranted some time for respite.

“Exactly how many strings did you have to pull from the firm to get this?” You say, stretching your arms above your head while Aleks continued pacing, the assurdness in his strides a welcome, familiar feeling.

His warm dark eyes meet yours, and your heart fluttered as he responded. “Not many, other than saying I’d like a change of scenery to conduct important business,” he raised a cheeky brow.

He comes over and you reached up running your fingers through his messy morning hair, smiling softly as he leaned into your touch, grasping your waist as he falls into you, pressing you into the soft pillowy mattress that felt more like a dream than reality. The soft plumage encompassing your body like an airy cloud.

“I heard there’s a market downtown today,” he said, peppering kisses along your neck as he continued, “perhaps we could take a look around, maybe find dinner or lunch while we’re at it.”

“Sounds delightful.”

Soon enough you’re walking down the lively streets, the incessant honking of the cars a cacophony of an unfamiliar symphony your ears. An elderly lady calls out to you from her cart, noticing the way your fingers intertwined with Aleks’ and you offer her a small smile, guiding Aleks along to greet her. Never had you seen so many flowers, the varieties multitudes and full of brigh voluminous color, the petals beckoning for you to reach out and take them with you.

“How about these?” The old lady pipes up, gesturing to the selection of blood red roses, so dark and luxurious they look as if they could bleed. Aleks, smiled to himself while you carefully hovered your finger along them, plucking the stem from its pot, bringing the rose to your nose, inhaling deeply. In it you could smell you hopes and desires, blooming cacadeing down along the deepest depths of your heart. In fact, Aleks, in his stupor of watching the flowers with you, brushed away a lock of your hair, picking up one of the beautiful blossoms, tucking it behind your ear.

The old lady practically beamed at the reaction, a ray of sunshine warming you from head to toe, a delicious contrast to the sharp edges and coolness of Aleks’ shadows.

You toss her one last warm smile as Aleks’ arms wrap around you sweeping you in, his lips brushing playfully against your, before guiding you further down the walkway, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“What if I told you I have an idea for the evening just for us?” He smiled, pulling you closer, where you could look deeo withing his eyes. Those glorious eyes beautiful, mischievous twins, half crescent moons circling the irises.

You don’t know what got into him, but you’re not to blame, for you make his heart feel younger than it has in years despite the loss of his family and many other relatives. He pulls you further down the street as the sky gradually begins to shift, clouds blocking its warming rays.

You passed by the other vendors, assortments of food, jewlery, and clothing passing by in a cacophony of noise, color, and sound. The liveliness, the breathing heart of the city was all around you, welcoming you in its arms. You didn’t want to leave, wanted to breathe it in the smell of the air, crisp and clean, impending rain on the horizon.

When the brush of the first drop falls along your face, you couldn’t help but raise your head to the sky, letting it wash over you, cleansing you, renewing. Alek’s watched you intently, memorizing every inch of your face, the way the rain traced along the pattern of your face along your jaw as he’d done time again with his lips. How it made his heart yearn all the more, wanting to savor each and every moment with you, to treasure it, capture this time away from the rest of the world illuminated only by you.

So, he pulls you closer, you gaze snapping to meet his, full of understanding, laughter in your eyes when he gathers you fully in his arms, a hand around your waist, swaying with you, not caring about your wet clothes clinging to you like a second skin. He never felt so young for all his years of living. The way the rain falls down your face, painting you like the most beautiful aanbas he’s ever seen. He wants to be with you almost every waking hour of the day

He thought nothing more than how you spun in his arms, reaching out and back to him, both your steps in sync while you carried on along the pavement. Every spin was enthralling, the joy infectious, and when his hands fall to your waist, dipping you down, your lips a hardsbreath apart, chest rising and falling, your hands sup his face, stroking it, not caring you were on display for all to see. His lips meeting your made all feel right in the world, the smile blooming unabashedly along your face as you deepened it more, leaning in to him wanrting to be consumed by him and his very essence didn;t fall away.

“You’re so beautiful,” a tingly warmth followed his statement as he offered his hand to you, interlacing it with his as he rushed you down the street out of the rain quickly becoming a torrential downpour. You can’t help but pull him back to you, a loud crash of thunder and lightening following in tandum while you kiss him once more, running your finger through the wet raven strands of his hair, laughter bubbling from you joyously as the rain soaks you further to the bone.

You arch you brow in amusement as he grasps your hand and kisses it. “Perhaps we should get dry.”

He brought you in for yet another kiss, his thumb gliding over your lower lip, sending shivers along your body in its wake.

“I see somewhere we could go,” you whisper as you broke away from his lips, interlacing your hands with his once again, looking out in the distance, a familiar steeple of a chapel beckoning to you. He darts down the pavement with you in tandem, quickly pushing aside the heavy wooden doors, warmth streaming in to greet you both soothing through your body the cold dissipating from you body.

The small chapel’s light flickered in greeting, but no one else seemed to be present, you thought until you heard the faint whisperings of a person from further within the corridor.

“Perhaps we should find somewhere else?” Aleks inquired humming to himself as he looked through the pamphlets littering the welcome desk before you, strands of his hair brushing along his forehead, lips forming into a boyish grin.

A deluge of rain falls by, pounding harder on the rooftop, silencing his question while you shook your head in amusement, twiddling your thumbs all the while, biting the inside of your cheek as you recounted the entirety of the day. How could something so delightful end up in this dismal state.

However, you found your gaze latched upon Alek’s figure against the shadow, watching how he felt at home in them, shaded by them just so, making his features all the more alluring and mysterious. There was still so much about him you did not know, in all your years together, you still found some inescapable thread of longing tying towards him, beckoning you to him no matter the distance. It etched between timelines, between all reasons of doubt, something imbued in his very essence keeps you to him, some subsequent part of you knowing this and him are always meant to be.

When his gaze snapped over to yours, the sounds of the faint humming down the corridor fading, does he allow himself to indulge in many a kiss, pulling you flush up against him, desperation and want forming in full tandem, drowning out the incessant rain, replaced by the rapturous beating of your treacherous heart.

Longing and wanton need brimmied at the edges of your vision, bright, perfect harmony utter sublime, your hands grasp the lapels of his coat, slightly damp but closer to dry than it had been moments earlier when walking through the door.Yet everything about him smells the same, familiarity, comfort, clinging to his skin, alighting you with want and an incessant need for more. He was yours, well you wanted him to be more than anything. You knew within your heart of hearts that somehow destiny was on your side, putting your broken pieces together, completing you with nothing but bliss. Perhaps it was the air, the scenery, the change of pace, but you did not want whatever it was to end. You needed this, wanted him until the end of your days.

“Penny for your thoughts, dear one?” Alek’s honey sweet voice laced in lush richness whispered into you ear, sending an ungodly amount of shivers along your spine.

You murmur, far too gone in your feelings everything falling and collapsing within your mind all together and all at once while you respond, “Nothing but the usual,”while wrapping your arms around his waist, sucking gentle marks along the exposed skin of his neck you can reach.

“Surely you can spare one, I saw the way you were watching me,” a small smirk formed along his lip, which you so desperately want to bite in retaliation, but you can’t summon the willpower to move from your compromising position, your back pinned against the walls of the chapel, Aleks’ breath hot along your neck.

You hum to yourself, allowing yourself to relax into his touch, thoughts of someone catching you in the front entry corridor long gone from your mind. All you can think of his him and what he can give to you, but the words that fall from your lips surprise you.

“Marry me, then and perhaps I’ll let you become privy to all my secrets you so desperately want from me in this moment, Aleks.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

He nipped your neck harshly, his voice low and deep in your ear. “Do you absolutely want me privy to all of your secrets, my love?”

“Nothing would give me greater joy,” the slight sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed but he continued, little to nothing trying to dissuade him. Meanwhile, your mind whirrled in a blurry, heart still pounding you’re sure he wasn;t bringing it to your attention for your sanity’s sake.

Did you want to marry him? All but two years had you living under the same roof fighting off all these feelings surfacing over and over again.

The feeling of his lips on yours, the stares on you when you walked through the room, lighting you up made you feel alive under him, his eyes, the light and shadow intermingling in the affairs of his life. Now that you thought of it further, nothing made sense without him in your life, it would be like a sky without the most wondrous of stars and the constellations.

“I want you, Aleks, if you’ll have me.” You look up meeting his gaze, his hands still gripping your waist, forehead bending to reach yours.

“It would be my greatest honor to have you as my equal, to have you by my side always.” He smiled, dipping you in his arms, your hands cupping his face, an electric spark forging when your lips collided, sealing your fates together, forever sealing your silent vows murmured underneath the sky full of shadow and stars.

******

@bakerstreethound @lilythemadqueen @frostandflamesfanfic @groovy-lady @viper-official @jakecockley @starks-hero

#general kirigan x reader #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #ben barnes #the black heretic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #no power au

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ajoytobeheld · 6 months

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Ellen: it's been an awfully big adventure

December 7th, 2012

I don’t know how to start this, other then diving right in so….I’ll dive.

It is with a sad face I have to report that I am leaving Los Campesinos!. The show on the 15th of December in London will be my last, and I shall spend it struggling not to cry. Please don’t point out my tears if you come along. Simply pretend it is eye sweat.

Over the last seven years I have been blessed, not by God, because he doesn’t exist, but with opportunities and a life I will not fully appreciate until I am about forty-five. I will look back at old photos of the band, with our smooth skin and questionable hair, and go “fuck me. That was mental.”

The past and present members of Los Campesinos! have been my family for the last seven years and seen me at my lowest, my highest, my most angry, sad, happy, broken, fixed, grown up and immature. They have seen me fail, succeed, let myself and them down, learn the hard way, but they have also seen me grow. And they have always had my back, and I hope, I sincerely hope, I have done my best to have theirs.

There is not a terribly exciting reason for me leaving, (so please start some exciting rumours), I am just going to try something new. Fulfil my ambitions of becoming a failed writer and developing a opium habit. It’s all going to be very retro. I leave with the upmost love and support from the band, but I have requested my replacement not be too cool.

I would say I am sad to go, but that is too simple a word for the variety of emotions I have swimming around my head right now. I am sad, but mostly I am drowning in warm and happy flashbacks, vinaigrette images of us all laughing in the van on long drives across America. Joe Puleo, tour manager, at the front telling a story, Jason playing quizmaster and hosting a game of “Guess the Song,” from an app he has downloaded, and we all scream out responses. Rob taking photos of the scenery on his lomo, Neil watching gangster epics on his laptop, and maybe later on this long long drive Paul and Tom will play Tiger Woods Golf whilst I work out how long I can hold my bladder for before requesting we stop. I was the most frequenter pee needer on long drives. I am not ashamed of this. I owned it.

I felt warm and safe on those drives, listening to everyone tell stories, share experiences, make each other laugh. I am lucky to have shared a hotel room with so many exceptional ladies over the years, Aleks, Harriet and especially Kim, who shared my fear of the cold, love of porridge and put up with my ability to make a mess in any room in under 5 seconds. Starting and ending the day together, we did some good chatting.

I have seen a lot of this world, and I didn’t have to go on a gap year to do it. I have travelled across the breadth and depth of the US and the UK and I have seen a lot of different faces, and sampled a lot of backstage humus.I have seen a lot of graffitied backstage cocks.

I have met and worked with countless wonderful, interesting and horrifically talented people inside the industry, inside the venues, inside the recording studie and inside our practice space. (I won’t gush too much about how talented the people in the band are, you might get diabetes from my sincerity, but it has been a pleasure and a privilege to play the music that Tom writes.)

Also fans. Fans are awesome. You made it possible for us record an album in Seattle. To play a show outside of Wales. To play in a baseball stadium in Japan. A haunted restaurant in Santa Cruz. a handful of US universities and see Mexico! I saw Mexico! You girls and guys are truly humbling, and I hope I never took you for granted too much. I probably did. Thank you for knowing the words, for bringing cakes, and books, and t-shirts, and comics, and buying us drinks and for waiting and driving miles and cheering and clapping. For reading or watching or listening to anything we have ever done. Thanks. You kept us going and will continue to be the life blood of the Los Campesinos! family.

I was trawling through old photos trying to find the best one to represent a start and an ending, but I got lost in old memories and the process of ageing.

(God we looked young, look at our skin! Look at our clothes! Cardigans and ripped up Distillers t shirts, oh I still have that.)

I have eons of photos of the band at the start, at rehearsals, house parties, with experimental hair, (mine black, Gareth long and wispy, Neil’s fringe nearly covering his eyes and Tom always wearing his hat) and at our first shows. I remember when we first started, our summer of label romance where everyone wanted to take us out for a pub meal, and all we ever did was go out in Cardiff drinking and dancing. We said we would change our last names to Campesinos! if we ever played in the states, but we tempted fate, and we never changed out names but we did get to go to America a lot.

I sometimes wonder what alternative universe me would be doing if she didn’t go to that first rehearsal in Ollie’s bedroom. I think she is picking her nose right now in a bath of baked beans, bored and crazy because she spent all day in an office sitting next to a woman who told her about the time she slept with a navy seal. No one cares Brenda.

So 500 plus gigs, millions of air miles, gallons of backstage whisky and wine, a tonne of sweaty cheese and pita bread, a litre of tears shed on stage, hundreds of “don’t fuck up,” panics, hundreds of fuck ups, hundreds of “this is blowing my mind” moments whilst starring into a sea of unfamiliar and impassioned faces, break ups and ill advised hook ups later (don’t date musicians, like ever, we’re all mental,) I realise I have seen all the travel lodges, service stations, and states of America (apart from Alaska) and I have tasted more Marks and Spencer’s meals then I thought possible. I’ve been with some of the finest people I know doing a very unnatural thing, which is both the best and the worst experience and often at the same time, but never the same any given year. And we have done it fucking well. The best we can.

God I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help it, I was a middle child.

So some more self-indulgence.

I want to thank some people for being ace. John Goodmanson – a brilliant producer and a lesson in style and grace under pressure. Joe Puleo – the best tour manager, you never feel anything but safe in his company. Kelly Pickard – inspiration, mentor, wisest woman. Paul Rattcliff- The loyalist soundman whom gives so much. Kev and Alun and Mark Bowen, Wichita, Ben and Vicky, Gareth Dobson, anyone we have toured with or supported or who I have met along the way, everyone I forgot. I haven’t forgot, I am thinking about you.

My mum, because she told me I could be anything and do anything except get my tongue pierced. And I did that anyway, and she still wasn’t mad at me.

And the band.. Kim, Jason, Gareth, Tom, Neil and Rob who I will miss sharing experiences with that no one will understand, I love you guys. Like, loads. From our first Sweet Dreams, until our last, thanks.

Okay, too long, too emo. Bye bye.

Ellen x

#2012 #ellen!blog #lc!blog #lc!image

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amiramorozova · 5 months

Text

Best Friends to Eternal lovers - soulmate mark and preparing for the fete

Aleksander led me away as if he wasn't even bothered and I knew that the fete was important. I had yet to make the chance to talk with the King in the five years I'd been there. So for the next several weeks Aleks prepared me for the fete instead of our usual practices but as soon as that was done we'd done what we wanted.

Weeks went by as I was glad that things were fine but Baghra was almost like at every corner when I turned around. While I can avoid her thanks to 2nd army there was the matter at which Baghra and I would butt heads and that would be Anna's training. Aleksander already told everyone but her in 2nd army she was the only tidemaker not to be taken to Baghra. So, I took care of her training in a secure location.

The day of the fete Aleksander held me close as we kissed and he picked me up taking me over to his bed as we made out. I knew the matter of our wedding was just within planning as this was the task at hand this fete before the count down to the day I became his wife officially. He opened my kefta to remove it and I let him as I moved kissing his neck and made a hickey on him as he soon returned the gesture on me.

He always made me feel desire, love and want knowing that it was just us. It was after he removed my kefta that I heard him gasp and look as he looked at me in surprise. "What is it, Aleks?" I asked as he looked at me. He removed his own kefta as he looked at his wrist seeing something there and I was confused before he smiled.

"Aleks?" I asked as he hadn't showed me and he pulled me even closer as we kissed. "Mine, my love, my soulmate." He said which shocked me and I took hold of the wrist he had and looked seeing my markings as I was in shock. I sudden feeling went over me that the love of my life was indeed as I said the one for me after all. I kissed him as I climbed on top of him and had him on his back as I pulled away and looked at him. "I always said you are the only one for me. That stands true forever." I said as he pulled me close and we were going to kiss again when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" Aleksander said as he moved his head towards the door holding me close as I knew we still had to get ready. "Pardon General, but the lady's attire is done and ready. We wanted to deliver hers first." A man said as Aleksander moved me off standing up as he readjusted his attire and fixed his hair from our rolling around on the bed as he walked to the door and opened it as we saw the servants bring in a couple boxes then bowed before leaving us.

Aleks ran a hand through his hair as he sighed and looked at the time "We have time." He said as he gestured for me to open them. I got on my knees as I opened the boxes seeing the kefta that looked like a dress in his color as I smiled and when I opened the other box I noticed something else shoes that I could wear to the fete.

Everything is in his color as it should be. I thought

"Come now put them on." Aleksander said as if it was important I changed then and I went to figure out how to put it on. Of course I could not do it alone so Aleksander had to help not that he didn't take his own amusement in kissing my exposed skin as he could and zipped it up. before putting the kefta part on me then he turned me around as he smiled adjusting the collar of the kefta to show off my soulmate mark. "I'm going to request Genya to come do your hair. So all I want is to keep my eyes on you." Aleks said as he held me close.

I smiled as I was just blessed that there would not be any fight, except one..Baghra. Tonight she could ruin possibly just my mood all together but I didn't want that. Aleksander kissed me as I kissed him back and he twirled me in his arms as I laughed knowing soon it would never be any different. "I love you Aleks." I said as he looked at me and I smiled with love in my eyes. "I love you too Sunshine, I have since you were sixteen and I will always love you." Aleksander said

Yet I worry your attention may go somewhere else if a Sun Summoner..another one show up. I thought

I surely shook that thought off but then he kissed me as he sighed. "I have to prepare. Genya will come then we'll go to the fete together with you on my arm and that is where you'll remain the entire night." Aleksander said as I nod. I knew that he'd never swayed i his feelings even as we were eternal and he'd have me for the rest of my life.

Aleksander kissed the top of my hand and then left as he left me to prepare myself the rest of the way. I went to the vanity and started to prepare but then the door opened as I looked seeing a red haired girl in a white Kefta. "You must be Genya." I said as this was my official first fete with Aleks.

Genya walked over as she looked me over and smiled "I am, you are the General's fiancé." Genya said as I laughed a bit and nod. "Please just Amira. He said you'd help me." I said as she nod and then started to prepare as I watched in the mirror seeing her do my hair and knew I'd be getting ready for the biggest event of my life.

Hopefully this goes well.. I thought

TagList: @lifeisingrey, @houseoftoomanyfandoms, @mizelophsun11, @budugu , @wheresthesunshinesblog

#Grishaverse #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone #fanfic #original story #aleksander morozova #Amira Silina #Amira Silina x Aleksander Morozova #shadow summoner #sunsummoner #tidemaker #dual summoner #darkling #the darkling #Team Darkling #darkling x reader #darkling x oc #Best Friends to Eternal Lovers

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wandawxdow · 3 years

Text

Dating Aleksander Morozova would include...

To say Aleksander didn’t want to care for you would an understatement. He’d tried to block any love from himself for years, too busy in his role and plans to distract himself.

But you managed to evade your way into his affections. And he is glad that you did.

When dating, Aleksander is simultaneously the most possessive and soft boyfriend.

If a man approaches, you can be sure he’ll turn straight back around from Aleks’ blatant glaring.

He also makes sure to have contact with you around others, whether it be a hand around your waist or one on your shoulder. It's his way of showing them you're his and not to be messed with.

On the other hand, when you're alone, Aleksander is soft and loving.

He brings you breakfast in bed and secretly reads the same books as you so you can gossip together about the characters.

If you fall asleep before he's home, he tucks you into bed and slips in beside you. Aleksander also makes a conscious effort not to leave in the morning without telling or waking you. He doesn't want you to think he just left.

He wants to be good for you. He wants to be a man you deserve. And though he may not believe it, he is.

But by dating you, he's become more compassionate and less irritable. Something his Grisha are thankful for.

But his love also makes him more ruthless to anyone who would seek to harm you.

Someone attempts to kidnap you? Dead. Someone tries to assassinate you? Dead.

He doesn't have mercy when it comes to those who would harm you. Absolutely none.

He even has a close-knit group of Grisha assigned to watch over you. And only those he trusts most, namely Ivan and Feydor.

You can rest assured knowing you're completely safe anytime you leave Little Palace. After all, you have an entire army loyal to you.

And not just because of Aleksander, but because they genuinely like you.

In fact, everyone you meets likes you. It's one of the traits Aleksander loves you for. How quickly you can make friends and connect with people. How loved you are by everyone.

He also admires your bravery. You stand up to him and blatantly share your opinion even if he contradicts it. You don't let him get away with anything, and it makes him a better man.

“Excuse you?” “Sorry, my dear.”

You are everything he needs in life. Until you, there was nothing he would ever trade his power for. But for you, he would give it all up in an instant.

But he doesn't have to because you accept him as he is, ambitions and all. You don't ask him to change who he is fundamentally. You accept him as others have not before.

And he loves you for it.

There is no doubt in Aleksander Morozova’s mind that you are the person he will spend his life with.

If nothing else, he is sure of that.

@savannah-elliott

#general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan fanfic #general kirigan fanfiction #the darkling imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling fanfic #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova fanfiction #aleksander morozova fanfic #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes

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allegra-writes · 3 years

Text

"Upside Down Soy Iced Caramel Macchiato"

Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Coffee shop AU

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff.

I usually steer clear from physical descriptions, but this is a special little something for the Decaf Coven, @amayatheowl @cocoamoonmalfoy @seolaseoul and @chaoticpete @bleh-bleh-blehs just this once, this is a brown eyed, brunette!Reader. If you prefer, you can read the Darklina version on AO3

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

"Here, Ivan? Really??" Aleks raised an eyebrow, judgement clear in his voice as he glanced at the sign above their heads announcing the "Brewed Awakening" cafe, a new age, yoga friendly, law of attraction or some other hippie bullshit better suited for sunny, spiritual, hip Shu Han than for gloomy, cold, cynical, spartan Os Alta. And definitely not suited for the coldest and most cynical of Os Alta Business men, Aleksander Morozova.

Ivan shrugged, his stoic face carefully blank, as always.

"Fedya likes it. And they make a mean cold americano"

Aleksander let out an sceptical scoff, but followed his friend inside, there was no time for arguing and no time to look for another coffee shop, their next deposition beginning in less than twenty minutes, so he would have to, as Fedyor would say, suck it up. He was under no delusions about the quality of the coffee offered at this place, in his experience, these kind of venues were far more concerned with decorations and ambience than with the grounds they used.

Sure enough, the interior of the cafe looked like something out of a magazine, mismatched wooden chairs and tables artfully combined, royal blue couches on top of white plush rugs creating little cozy conversation spaces, empty cages hanging from the ceiling, candles in every available surface…

There was a small queue in front of the mahogany counter.

"Maybe we should leave, we'll be late"

"Non sense" Ivan replied, "if we have to sip our coffee on the way back, it will still be worth it, trust me"

Aleksander was about to protest, but the words died in his throat when a costumer stepped aside, and he saw her: Dark hair piled on a messy bun atop her head, warm coffee eyes and a smile that seemed lit up the entire shop, if not the entire city.

His mother had told him legends when he was a little kid, fairy tales about the Grisha, seductive creatures of supernatural beauty that could control the elements at will, often leading men to their downfall with their bewitching wiles. As he watched her, shinning brighter than the golden Firebirds painted on the wall behind her, there was no doubt in Aleksander's mind that this girl was one of them, a sun witch, like Sankta Alina, who had bravely walked into the shadow fold and faced the Black Heretic, breaking the spell and turning him back into a man with a true love's kiss.

The girl turned away from them to start making the drink for the guy in front of them.

"Sorry!" She called back, "The other barista bailed on us, so it's just me today. If you can give me five minutes, I'll be right with you"

Ivan made a face, opening his mouth to politely decline, but Aleksander beated him to it.

"No problem, take your time. We're not in a hurry"

Ivan frowned, but Aleksander was technically his superior, so he didn't say anything.

"Really? Thank you-" The girls eyes' met Aleksander's over the pastry display case, and froze, doe eyes making her look pretty much like a deer in the headlights. Aleks' heart skipped a beat.

The girl shook herself,

"Right. What- um… what would you like to order?"

"Just an espresso for me, and an iced americano for my friend" Aleksander announced.

"Zoya wants a soy latte" Ivan reminded him.

"And a soy latte" Aleks repeated, obediently.

"Perfect. I mean, sure, right away. Just let me finish this Macchiato here and I'll… make them. For you."

Aleksander felt bad for the obviously overwhelmed girl, but he would be lying if he said her flushed cheeks and nervous fumbling wasn't the cutest thing he had ever seen.

The time seemed to fly as he watched her, dainty little hands dexterously turning nobs and levers and pressing buttons, until she finally stepped forward, presenting them with two drinks on the counter, but Aleksander only had eyes for her, and the way a single, rebel curl escaped her bun right under his attentive watch. His hand twitched with the urge to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. And maybe, just maybe, cup her face on the way back, stroke those adorable pink cheeks, bring her closer to him, lean in and-

"What is this?" Ivan's stern voice tore him out of his daydream.

"Um, an americano and an upside down iced soy caramel macchiato…" The girl replied, "That- that was your order, right?"

Aleksander's heart twisted inside his chest at the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yes, that's exactly what we ordered" He reassured her quickly, closing his mouth around the straw of his designated cup for good measure. The girl gasped, eyes zeroing on his lips, making the butterflies inside his stomach take flight.

"Delicious" he declared, blindly handing her a bill that the girl distractedly took and stuffed into the register, eyes never leaving his.

Ivan wondered if either of them had realized his boss had just handed her a fifty. Gruffly, he grabbed his drink,

"Well, we should get going now. There's an important meeting and we're already late"

Taking his boss' elbow, he practically dragged him away as the barista girl waved them goodbye.

"See you soon" It sounded like a question. Aleksander threw her a smile over his shoulder,

"Very" he promised. Ivan was starting to think he had made a terrible mistake showing him this place…

…

There was a tall, handsome dark skinned boy next to his barista when he walked into the cafe the next day, poking her in the ribs and telling her something apparently very witty if the way she threw her head back laughing was anything to go by. Aleksander felt the strange impulse to bite his hand off.

However, his unexpected desire for violence left as suddenly as it had arrived, when the sunshine girl spotted him, her face breaking into an impossibly bigger and brighter smile.

"Upside down iced soy caramel macchiato guy!"

Aleksander beamed: she remembered him.

Well, kind of. She still had his order wrong, but to be honest, Aleksander was too happy to care.

"That's me" He laughed, "or, you know, Aleksander, for short"

"Aleksander" She repeated, and he could have died right there and then. His name was probably the most common name in the entire Ravka, but it sounded different from her lips. It sounded special. "I'm Y/N" she offered him her hand to shake. He took it, and swore he could feel sunlight fill his veins where his skin met hers.

"Y/N" he tried it, loving the sweet taste it left in his mouth. Sweeter than yesterday's macchiato. A throat cleared somewhere beside them.

"Right" She seemed to wake from the spell first, "Same as yesterday?"

Aleksander nodded,

"Of course! That was the best iced macchiato I've ever had"

Y/N smiled again, positively glowing as she made her way to the espresso machine.

Yeah, Aleksander could drink overly sweet coffee drinks until he got diabetes, as long as he could see that smile every day for the rest of his life…

#aleksander morovoza #aleksander kirigan #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling #the darkling x reader #fluff #coffee shop au

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

Note

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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darling-dummy-blogs · 3 years

Text

It's Official.

As most of you already know of and had seen. Elex/Paper Games had recasted everyone in MLQC. I've reblogged a bunch of posts about the situation ever since I heard the news. I'm a little late to post about it...

Now I've decided to talk about how I felt when I found out the news. At first I was shocked. Because I didn't even realize that Bill and Aleks were leaving as well.

But I'm not surprised that it has come to this. Half of the voices were already gone so it only seemed fitting that they would have them leave as well. And while a part of me had hoped they would bring them all back, I knew it wasn't good to get too attached to that ideal thought.

It truly sucks that it has come to this. And I give out my sympathy to those who are truly hurt over this.

I, personally cannot handle change well. I'm still barely coping at the loss of Ben from the start. But this was something that they had to do. And I don't blame them. While I do not stand by what Elex/Paper Games did to Jonah, Joe and Sean... I still have hope for the future of this game and this fandom.

And while I am still heartbroken over the whole ordeal that has taken place in the last 2 months. I'm willing to accept the new VAs with open arms.

My reasoning? Well I still love the game. I still love Victor and I am not stopping as I mentioned in my previous statement when this first occured with the whole Jonah situation.

Plus I did check out each of the new VAs and they all sound wonderful. I cannot wait to see what they will provide to the MLQC boys.

But I still would like to take a moment to dedicate my thanks to the original VAs. Each of them will always hold a special place in my heart for bringing each of these gorgeous characters to life.

And I am incredibly thankful for the work they have all put into this game. They were lovely and outstanding. They will never be forgotten and they are not replacable. At least not in my heart.

I'm sure many others can agree to that. So again... Thank you. To the Original VAs for doing everything they could for this game. I will miss each of them dearly. And will continue to support them in their future endeavors. 💕

On a much happier note: I am excited to see the future that the new VAs will give us for the rest of Season 1 and eventually Season 2 of Mr. Love Queen's Choice.

With that being said.... I still stand by my original statement. I am not leaving this fandom. I am still going to write fanfics of these beautiful characters and play the game. 💗

Thank you for reading this, if you made it to this point. I love and appreciate you for listening to my opinion. You have every right to disagree and not listen to it. But I'm glad you read this. It means a lot to me.

~Cassie.

My Original Statement (in case you haven't read it)

#mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc shaw #mr love queen's choice

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 3 years

Note

Ben and Mairzee both referred to Aleksander as an "antagonist" rather than a villain. Jessie has also spoken of his positive qualities and how Darklina share many similarities just with different povs. His motivations aren't wrong, only his methods/extremist mindsets, which arose from an isolated immortal life where all he could cling to was his cause and how all his previous efforts didn't work. But with Alina, he's not fighting alone, and he has someone equally strong enough to balance him.

Thank the tv gods for Mairzee, Ben and Jessie, they really do understand Aleksander and the darklina relationship. I agree I do think he's more of an antagonist than a villain. To me villains are usually just cruel for the sake of being cruel and have no empathy. I do think in the books the darkling becomes this but it isn't written well and its very frustrating because he had the potential to be a very interesting complex character, as the show proved. His motivations aren't wrong at all in fact they are actually noble, one of the things that irritates me the most is when they try to push the narrative that Aleks is doing everything for his own gain which isn't true he's trying to elevate his people out of a position of oppression and prosecution. Yes he does have an extremist method at times, but as you said this comes from his isolation and because his previous more peaceful attempts were not successful and still ended with his people being hurt and killed. But I would also, having thought on it some more, say that a lot of actions could also be chalked up to him having to make those cold, hard military decisions. In regards to Novokribirsk for example, of course it was terrible for those innocent civilians who died in the city and for their families, there's no denying that their lives were important and them dying that way was tragic and just awful. But the situation Aleks was in was very difficult and one I don't think many people think about. At this time Aleks was fighting a war on two fronts. His military force had been split into two, half at the shu han border and half at the fjerdan border. We also know from his speech in episode 4 that they were running out of money, aleks says the coffers are running dry. We know from both Aleks saying he lost so many good soldiers and Ivan's casualty report in episode 3 that they are also sustaining quite heavy losses. Basically the situation couldn't get much worse, except it can because then they get word that West Ravka is planning to rebel and become an independent state. West Ravka is where they get all there supplies from so them becoming an independent state is practically a death knell for the East. Also I feel like Aleks' line about the noose tightening and the king's attitude at the demonstration in ep 3 indicates that the King was putting alot of pressure on Aleks to fix the problem. So now Aleks is faced with two choices, he can try to find enough men to send across the fold to fight against the rebels and attempt to bring them back in line, if he could even find enough soldiers to squash the rebellion then that leaves the two fronts (shu han and fjerda) vulnerable and weakened. Or, now that he has Alina, he could expand the fold into Novokribirsk which not only would it be guaranteed to take out the rebellion, it would also likely scare people into not wanting to restart the rebellion but also its a show of power to fjerda and shu han and might be enough to push them into submission too. And it wouldn't cost him a single one of his soldiers, it wouldn't cost money, one move and the problem is gone. The only downside are the civilian lives that would be lost. But I feel like Aleks would've weighed up the cost between losing alot of soldiers on both sides to a fight against the rebellion, plus because there would be less soldiers at the fronts more people will die there too, and the cost of a few hundred civilians who could very well end up being caught in harms way anyway if there was a war with the west and ultimately decided that the thousands of lives that would be saved from avoiding a war with the west ravkans was worth the sacrifice of hundreds of civilians. It came down to a numbers game and unfortunately a consequence of war is that innocents get caught in between, and civilians lose their lives. For me this makes it harder to judge whether this move by Aleks is him acting as a villain or just acting like an army general in a world based on imperial russia where hard decisions have to be made in order to win a war. Nobody is saying its morally right

he did a terrible thing but we don't know how he feels about the civilians that were lost and whether he feels any sorrow or guilt for them. We do get an indication that he feels guilt over the people who were lost to the fold so I could imagine that he would also feel some guilt about Novokribirsk but he rationalises it in his head. Anyway think I might have gone a bit off topic here so ramblings over.

Now that he has Alina maybe she can show him a different way and they can work together and he won't have to burden the weight of the wars their country are fighting by himself. I do wish he had confided in Alina before making the move but I feel like their relationship was just too new and he was still building trust with her. I'm still holding out hope that they may move away from the books in season 2 and maybe have Alina and Aleks work together in some way, but we'll have to wait and see.

#darklina #the darkling #answered

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girlmaster132 · 3 years

Text

(Yan)Childe x Reader: Remember Me?

This is like my first in this app please bare with me lmao.

Rated: Mature Words: 3.1k Warning: Kidnapping, Name Calling, Bullying.

Second-Person POV:

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You wince as you pick up the burnt food on the ground. You accidentally poured in too much oil and you threw the fish away. This was a simple Grilled-Tiger Fish yet you can't even do it. How clumsy are you? You picked up the failed meal and threw it in the trash. You sigh as you shook your head and went to the table to eat one of the fruits on the table.

You moved to the window and opened it. The sun shined bright, the sounds of people enticing customers to their stalls can be heard up to your house. Liyue Harbor is such a calm and relaxing place. Well, as long as you don't evade tax that is.

It's been years since you've lived in Liyue, in contrast to most people here who have a specialty in cooking. You only ever bought food here. You took a bite into the apple and got ready for the day.

You leave your house and walk down the stairs. Opening the door you're met with the friendly people of Liyue.

"Goodmorning Y/N off to work?" You turn around and see Ganyu walking towards you.

"Yes Ms. Ganyu, it's the last day before a week's break. I decided to get there earlier so I can get all my work done. I hate going on the weekends. Also, it's rare to see you out of your workplace, what brings you here?" You say. Ganyu giggles and pats you on the back.

"Well, I have some important business to do. Don't waste time and off to work you go! Can't miss any seconds, time is gold!"

You smile at Ganyu and continue your stroll to the outskirts of Liyue. You pass children playing with their kites, tag, and some even roleplayed as the Millelith. The vendors yell as they advertise their product in any way they can. You reached the bridge and continued your way to the statue of the seven.

You bow down to the statue of Rex Lapis. He was such a different god from the previous one you had. Reaching the building of your office, you fixed your clothing and walked proudly. Opening the door and walking, Something felt off. There would usually be people welcoming you inside. The room should have open lights and a warm temperature. Instead, the building was dark, and it's eerily quiet. You sharply inhale.

"Guys? Where are you?" You shouted as you searched each room you pass through. Was it a holiday and you accidentally went to work? But Ganyu would've told you earlier.

The moment you arrived at the secluded area, you felt a hand with a handkerchief pressed over your mouth. You look back and attempt to punch them. Your heart beats rapidly and you squirm. More men appear and one of them punches you hard in the stomach. You fall to your knees as they hold you down and suffocate you. Black spots forming in your eyes as the world around you is rapidly fading quickly.

"Is this one of the people on the list?"

"Yeah, he's the last one." The man says.

You try to struggle one last time as you close your eyes and drift to sleep. You squirm, punch, do anything. You struggle.

And struggle, and struggle.

And for the last time, you—

...

Struggle.

You were being held down by Alek. He has always done this to you for as long as you can remember. Your face smeared across the snowy floor. It was cold and freezing, why is your life like this?

"Y/N! I thought you wanted to be in the military!" He laughed, "Is it because your father is so poor he'd sacrifice you anytime to get money!"

You sob and try to push yourself up, but Alek steps at your back. Leo, your other tormentor kicks you in the face, "How about your mom? Is she selling herself again to earn money? What a whore!"

"My... Mom's not a whore..." You whimpered as the two boys made fun of you more. Blood trickles down your nose, you have a black eye and a broken self-esteem.

"Hey!" A familiar voice shouted. He aimed his arrow and shot it right beside you threatening the two other kids. Your eyes light up and you see your best friend Ajax. He slides down the snow hill and directs the bow at the two boys. "Let him go! Or I will shoot."

The two boys stare at Ajax. "And who might you be? We haven't met you before."

"Someone that will kick your ass and make you fear my name." The two looked at each other and laughed. They glance back at you and Leo picks you up. Ajax glare would be enough to kill these two. Without warning rushes at them. He raises his fist and punches Alek right in the nose. Leo drops you roughly into the ground and before he could do anything, Ajax swings his bow at him and uppercuts him in the jaw.

Your eyes light up as you watch Ajax beating them up a bit too hard. He strikes them with his bow without mercy. "Don't you fucking dare, return to this village. You got me!"

"Ajax..." You call out, he stops and faces you. "I think they had enough." He shoves Leo into a tree and approaches you. The two boys ran away with fear. He crouches and touches your face.

"Ajax, thanks for saving me again." You breathe out. He hugs you and lifts you. "Hey! This is embarrassing!" You hide your face and he bursts out laughing.

"You can barely even stand, don't get shy of a friend helping you out." He carries you and runs you back to his place. The wind was a gentle breeze you blush slightly as he passes through the village. He sits you on the porch and opens the door.

"Wait, is anyone home? I might disturb them,"

"Nonsense!" He pulls you into a room and opens the lights. "Stay here, I'll get something for that black eye and a broken nose." He rushes into a room. You hum and wait, he returns with an entire medkit.

"You don't have to, that's a waste of supplies. I thought you were just going to give me a cold compress—"

"Here have some of this, your nose is bleeding," He ignores your complaints and brings you a cloth. "Now for that eye," He takes out a cold compress and gives it to your other hand. You apply it to your eye as you wipe your face off the blood. He happily sits beside you.

"I wish I can be like you, strong, powerful, and brave. Do you ever wish to be part of the military?"

"Nah, I don't think I'll ever join the military soon. I like to fight but you're more fit for that."

"You're just wasting your time, thanks for being my sparring partner and the person that always saves me but..." You trail off.

"But what?"

"I'm someone you can leave behind. I'm the one getting prepared to become a soldier but I can't even fight those two. You don't even get training yet you're better than me. I bet you're just doing this because you don't want to hurt my feelings."

"Y/N don't think about that!" Ajax smiles, "I enjoy your company! Even if you win or lose as long as you learn with me I am fine with that!" your face heats up and you look down at the floor.

"That's sweet of you to say..." You whisper.

Silence.

His demeanor changes, "Y/N I've always wanted to tell you something, I've—"

The door opens, "Y/N I knew you'd be here. Your father is calling you, he orders you to go home now," He walks towards you, "Yeesh, what happened to you kid?"

"Oh just Alek and Leo doing their thing again... Your son saved me again sir! He's such a nice friend," You compliment. "I'm sorry I used some of your medical supplies."

"It's okay boy, I don't mind. No hurry, your father needs you."

"See you Ajax and thank you so much for helping me!" You bow down and run outside, waving goodbye.

...

You walk through the snow and trees. You arrive home and see a carriage and a ton of boxes everywhere. "What's this all about?"

"We're leaving, pack your things before afternoon." You stand there in shock. Leaving? To where?

"W-what! Father, why do we have to leave again? Where are we even going? Aren't we fine? You say if I trained and got in the military we'd be safe. W-why?" You stuttered. Looking at your father who's hastily fixing the bags. He grabs your shoulders.

"Liyue, we have the biggest chance of surviving there. We can't pay off our debt anymore, they'd kill us!" He yells at your face, making you shake in fear.

"B-but where's mom? And Ajax— I still haven't said my goodbyes to him." He grabs your hand and pulls you roughly.

"Your mom won't be returning any time soon, we have to hurry. And as for Ajax, I told him about the two of us leaving for Liyue. You're not good enough, look at you. Whenever you get back here you get beaten up by such a useless piece of shit. There's no time so get your goddamn stuff and let's leave this hell hole!" He pushes you and his words echoed through your mind. You wipe a tear threatening to fall down your face.

You pack all your clothes and whatever you can hoard in a box. You throw it in the carriage and your father commands you to get in. You are sad, at the sudden change.

"Hey! Wait up!" Ajax shouts. You see him out of breath, his eyes full of worry.

"It's best if you don't follow us..." You say. Your eyelids get heavy and hide your face. You look back once more to see Ajax chasing you with full speed. Your father grunts and whips the horse to go faster. You watch as he fails to match the speed.

"Wait, Y/N! Don't leave me please!"

And that was the last you've heard of your best friend.

...

The room is silent and uncanny. You squirm around and freedom has no avail. Your eyes are covered and your hands are tied. You start to panic and hyperventilate.

"Looks like the last one woke up," you hear a voice.

"Are these the hostages?"

"Yes, we're just waiting for the boss to return," says the other. Footsteps were circling the room. You feel like you're about to vomit. Your insides churn at the fact that you're kidnapped by other people in the room.

"This one seems to be eager for a beating!" The agent jokes. The blindfold tightly wrapped around your face stops you from absorbing info about the matter. Your hair gets roughly pulled and you gasp. They laugh at your attempt to escape from them. You hear the door creak open.

"Well hello there, you did a great job you two, now would you mind if you avoid touching the hostages?"

"Yes sir!" And with that, the two men drop you down. The newcomer arrives and clears his throat.

"All of you calm down. We're waiting for your greedy scum of a boss to pick you up from here in about an hour. There are 6 people in here, If he arrives early and pays, we'll set you free. If he doesn't," You hear him chuckle. "Every 10 minutes wasted I will pick one of you and make sure none of you get out of here without a broken bone or two. So hopefully he responds and gives the money he owes us. Just hope this boss of yours is kind."

Time ticks the sounds of your co-workers begging for freedom gets hushed by threats and punches.

10 minutes had passed.

"Looks like one of you is lucky," You hear a loud slap and a person groan. You witness your co-worker get beaten up. You flinch every time he begs for mercy. You hid in the corner of the room, hoping to dear god your boss would arrive now. You didn't even know nor want to do anything about this debt they were talking about. With one last punch, you hear a thud, ending one's suffering.

You try to calm yourself down but you can't stop it. You huff and puff loudly, sweating bullets, stomach-churning, dying from the anticipation. All of these give all the attention to you.

Another 10 minutes passed, it didn't even feel like it. Time was ticking too fast you've lost all hope of getting out of here.

"Sheesh, that old geezer really does not care about you folks does he? Now, who should the lucky winner be?" His steps got louder and you know he's going to hurt you. He grabs your hair and pulls your blindfold and throws it. He raises his fist ready to strike. "Now you little-"

"Ajax? Is that you?" You asked, blinking to clear the light. He's taller and has a Fatui mask on his face. He still looks as handsome as you remember. He halts and stammers.

"H-how do you know about that? Are you one of Liyue's spies? Or are you an eavesdropper that knows too much?" He studies you before saying, "Keep an eye on the other 5, I have to deal with this one." You gulp as he harshly tugs your arm. He drags you into the room beside and throws you into the wall. Your heart sinks, whatever happened to your best friend? You feel the tears swell up in your eyes as sadness overtakes you.

"A-ajax don't you remember me?"

"As far as I can remember, I don't know anyone that's part of an organization that borrowed money from us. I only know your boss, and his subordinates are going to get a good beating if he doesn't arrive with the money."

You stare at his eyes, it's devoid of the sparkling light of hope and kindness. It's empty and dark, soulless and heartless. You gulp and a tear escapes out of your eye.

"I'm a coward..."

"Save the tears and sad story for later. I'll get back to you after your boss returns." He rolls his eyes and scoffs. He stands up and he quickly walks to the door.

"I'M A COWARD THAT LEFT THE MILITARY AND YOU ALONE!" You shout as you reach your hand up to him. "I was never fit to become a soldier! And I made you suffer!" You sat down and tears streamed down your face.

Childe stops walking and looks back at you. His eyes widened and his mouth agape.

"Y/N? How're you— alive? My father told me you were taken away and you... died...."

"W-what? My father said that he informed you about the two of us leaving Snezhnaya to hide in Liyue. We couldn't pay off our debt, and mom never returned the same day you rescued me from those two asshats."

His eyes softened like every memory of you two together came crashing to him. A small smile appeared on his face as he approached you slowly. Each step he takes, you take one back.

"I'm sorry I- just hurt me..." His hand reaches for your face and he looks directly into your eyes. He leans in and you feel his soft lips touch with yours. The moment was bliss, you close your eyes and hold onto him. You breathe in sharply as he pulls out. He wipes away your tears and lets out a laugh.

"I can't believe you're alive Y/N. I missed you, and you aren't a coward," he says. Your stomach somersaults and you hug him. "Now, let's get to it." You look up to him and then A sudden sharp pain surges and paralyzes you. A knife digs into your abdomen. You widen your eyes and more tears stream down your face.

"A-Ajax?" You whimper and your body numbs. Your legs weaken and Childe catches you. He chuckles as he runs his hand through your hair. You cough out blood and he whispers into your ear.

"Shh... it will be okay. Y/N just relax, you'll be fine with me. Just sleep, we'll talk in a bit."

...

You flutter your eyes. Everything was so blurry, your body is ready to fall apart from exhaustion. The pain of your best friend betraying you loomed and haunted your thoughts. You sluggishly move and the pain shoots through your stomach. You wince and attempt to cover it. You realize something is attached to your wrists. You move your hand and hear the clanks of chains. You dart in that direction and see that both of them were chained in the wall. The room is pitch black.

Your heart races and you panic. You struggle but your efforts are futile. Something heavy was weighing you down. You look down to your feet to see chains shackled on your ankles.

Your breathing gets erratic, and adrenaline rushes through you. The sounds of footsteps came near and you waited for the danger. The door loudly opens and you see Childe enter.

"You're finally awake! Took you long enough, I know you don't like to keep friends waiting," He exclaims while crouching down to your level.

"Where am I? Ajax why the fuck am I chained?"

"You'll never be able to leave me anymore. We're going to be together just like before! Aren't you excited! We have so much to catch up to, after you left I thought you died! So I chased after you and fell to the abyss—"

"Abyss?! Is that why you've cracked your head and went mad!" His grin widens and he giggles.

"You've always been funny Y/N I've loved your jokes. The abyss was such a fun place. I always thought that if you weren't in this world anymore, you'd be there! But foolish little ol' me remembered you are an angel, they don't fall into the abyss. They fly up into the sky," He rambles with a twisted smile on his face. You raise your brow, scared for dear life.

"This isn't right Ajax! Y-you fell into the abyss?! What happened to you! Why are you doing this to me? Let me go!" You yell. His face drops and he laughs maniacally. He comes closer and rubs your shoulders. His hand runs down to your chest. He licks his lips and stares at your eyes, piercing through your soul.

"We're going to have some fun."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Author's Note: I swear to God idk what I just wrote ;-;

If you enjoy whatever the hell I wrote you can follow me on WP too!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/264619512-genshin-impact-oneshots-x-readers-x-characters

#Childe #genshin impact #genshinimpact #genshin_impact #childe x reader #genshin x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #genshin x you #yandere

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sirenprincess15 · 3 years

Text

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 9

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: After centuries of being alone, Aleksander struggles to share his problems.

Chapter 9

Aleksander was busy working in his office. The roaring fire warmed him as he poured over ship manifests and army documentation on this Dmitry. If they could find who Dmitry traveled with, who was likely to be loyal to him, then perhaps they could identify any threats before they even came to the Little Palace.

When Inessa and Fedyor delivered Alina, Aleksander rushed to her side. “Thank you,” he said, dismissing them. He pulled her into his arms, rested his chin on top of her head, and deeply inhaled the scent of her. She was safe. “How was your day?”

“Boring. Fedyor and Inessa wouldn’t even let me go outside, not even for training. I’m never going to get stronger if I don’t train.”

“It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution for what?”

He ignored her. She didn’t need the stress of knowing how anxious their enemies were to kill her. “I thought we’d take dinner in here tonight, if that’s okay with you.” His emotions were a mess. As haunted as he had been since Marie’s death, it was even worse now that the continued active threat was confirmed. He was relieved to be with her because he could see she was safe, but he was also still deeply ashamed of his panic attack from the nightmare the night before. He feared she would bring it up. He couldn’t talk about it. Eating in the main hall would stop her from doing so, but he was worried about security and didn’t want her with a large crowd. Her food would be easier to poison there, even with her taster. Truthfully, though, Aleksander wasn’t sure he had it in him to perform the intimidating General Kirigan act tonight, and he wanted her nearby for safety. Then he worried about what would happen when it was time for sleep. He had unleashed shadows last night, and they could have hurt her. He would never be able to forgive himself if he harmed her. That morning he had decided they’d have to sleep apart, but that was before he’d known of this new threat, of spies sneaking into the palace to check her routines. There was no way to know if the man he’d killed had been the first or the last. He couldn’t risk letting her sleep without someone strong guarding over her, and she’d never agree to let someone like Ivan stand over her bed. She had to stay here. Selfishly, he was grateful to have the excuse to keep her in his bed.

“Of course.” Her expression begged him to answer her previous question, but he didn’t. He well remembered what it was like to be afraid everywhere you went at all times. He could protect her from that.

“I do have quite a bit of work to complete, though. I’m afraid I’ll be quite busy. I did take the liberty of having Genya select some books from the library for you.”

She raised an eyebrow, as if signaling to him that she saw right through his attempts to distract her, but all she said was, “That was kind of you.”

He sat back at his desk and tried to focus on the lists in front of him. Something wasn’t adding up. Dmitry would appear on a ship crossing into West Ravka, but not on a return, and then somehow a time later be on a manifest for a ship crossing the wrong way. How was that possible? Was he missing manifests or was Dmitry paying someone off to keep his name off the lists?

Alina stepped behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. “Alek, you’re so tense. The stress coming off you is nearly unbearable. What happened today?”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

She sighed. “Are we really going to do this thing tonight?”

He lifted his eyes to take in the annoyed look on her face. “Thing?”

“You know, where you pretend to be the oh so busy and important General Kirigan who uses his sense of authority to push people away? And then acts like he couldn’t possibly have any feelings or needs of his own? He’s fine. Everything is fine. He doesn’t need any help.”

He hadn’t even realized he was doing it, but she had. “Accurate,” he admitted.

“I’m going to let you in on a secret. The act doesn’t work with girls who have shared your bed.”

He laughed. Only she could call him on his behavior like this without irritating him. Only she could make him smile when he was otherwise so miserable. “I can assure you it worked fine on girls who have shared my bed. Apparently, it doesn’t work on the one girl I have let into my heart.”

“You’ve let me into your heart? So … let me help you.”

“Alina, it’s not that simple …”

“You can’t bear this burden alone, Aleksander. I won’t let you. Whatever is happening, it is crushing you. If not me, then get Ivan in here and talk to him. ”

“You want me to summon Ivan in here? This must be serious.”

“He is a good friend to you, and I know you trust him. I just want you to let someone help. You are not alone. This,” she said, putting her hand over the papers, “is not yours alone to figure out. Stop trying to solve everything with no support.”

“I’m not … used to having support.”

She nodded, took his hand, and squeezed it. “I know. I’m not really either. We’ve learned to do things alone, to hide pain and keep it to ourselves, but I know that problems are better solved together. Together, Aleksander. Stop trying to protect me from scary truths. Fedyor scanned every room we went into before he’d let me enter. I’m not stupid, Aleksander. If I can handle you cutting a Druskelle in half on top of me, I can handle whatever is threatening us now. Stop trying to push me away when it comes to important things. Let me help.”

He sighed. She was frightened already; she might as well know the truth. “Zoya caught a man trying to break in today. I have her guarding the palace exterior since she can’t seem to behave herself around you. He is working for Zlatan and was sent to spy on you. They’re making a plan for a better attempt on your life.”

Her shoulders slumped and her gaze fell to the floor as she took that in. “Hunted wherever I go. Still not used to that.”

He stood and wrapped his arms around her. “I will not let them succeed. I promise you that you will come to no harm.”

She looked into his eyes, stared there for a while, then found her strength. “Tell me about the papers.”

He quickly filled her in on what he had discovered about Dmitry and the mystery of the paperwork. It did actually feel good to have someone to discuss his findings with and not keep the thoughts spinning in his head. He talked through all of his ideas, no matter if they led nowhere. She indulged him and asked appropriate questions at all the right times. Finally, he arrived out loud at the stuck place he was in his head. He had so many theories, but how did he figure out if any of them were right?

She was quiet as she turned from page to page. Dinner arrived, and they ate in silence as they continued to try to find a pattern among the papers--the same captain, the same record keeper, accomplices that might travel with him. All ideas led nowhere, but they continued to look.

Hours later, Alina stood and walked into the war room.

“Alina?” He trailed after her. She was staring at the map. After a long time, he prompted her. “What is it?”

“I’m sure it’s stupid.” She shook her head and hugged herself.

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t like it when you put yourself down like that. That’s not you. Those are words from your past.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Hmm, well then, let’s hear it. I’m frustrated. Maybe if it’s really stupid we can have a good laugh about it.”

“I used to stare at the map and dream of finding a way around. I was told there is no around, but … is there? Any secret path or …”

Aleksander felt his stomach twist as the implications became clear. “There are reports of Fjerdans in West Ravka, rumors that Zlatan is aligning with them, letting Druseklle ...” A vision of Nina being tortured popped into his head. He had to fight his jaw from trembling so she couldn’t see how upset this made him. “There is an around if you’re in bed with the enemy. He’s going through Fjerda.”

She gasped as it came together in her head. “He sends his emissary to Fjerda with messages, who then gets a free pass into our country to deliver orders to his spies, but then he needs the quick return across to do it again. How long would it take to travel through Fjerda? Check the dates. Do they match?”

“Fjerdans. It’s worse than I thought.” He could feel the Fjerdan fires licking at his skin.

They spent another hour pouring over records and checking their theory. Finally, Alina yawned. “We should get some sleep.”

He wanted to tell her to go on ahead, but he didn’t want her sleeping in a room away from him. He almost offered to just watch over her, but he feared he would accidentally fall asleep and end up as he had the night before. His chest tightened with worry as he considered possibilities, none of which were acceptable.

“I tell you to come to bed, and that sense of dread is what I get? I might think you don’t want to …” she tried to lightly tease.

“You know why,” he whispered, still not wanting to talk about it.

“Which is all the more reason to get you to sleep soon. Your nightmares are worse the longer you try to keep yourself awake. Have you noticed?”

He sighed. “This morning I was trying to work myself up to telling you that it’s not safe to sleep with me anymore, but now with this information on this potential attack, it’s not safe to sleep away from me either.”

“Don’t you dare do that to me!”

“What?” To her?

“Don’t you realize what you do for me? For years I cried myself to sleep every night, Aleksander. For years! I used to lie there and wonder what was wrong with me that no one could want me, how it was possible for me to not belong anywhere. I slept with a weapon under my pillow to fend off anyone who might come to hurt me. And now I sleep in your arms. Desired. Loved. Don’t you dare take that away from me.”

His heart ached for her. Was it possible she needed him as much as he needed her? “I hadn’t realized …”

“No matter how bad our nightmares get, we stay together. You make sure I can sleep, and I will do the same for you. Just promise to wake me up tonight. You can’t get yourself overtired like that again.”

“And you will wake me if the shadows start again?”

“I promise. Right away.”

“Okay,” he agreed, feeling less selfish about allowing it if it benefited her too. It was better than the alternative of some spy finding her room in the night or her lying awake with a knife under her pillow wondering if someone was coming to kill her. He would have to take care of himself more for her--get an adequate amount of sleep, actually stop and eat meals instead of working through every waking hour, maybe even share some of his stresses with her. He would do those things if it meant he could be there to protect her.

“Now,” she said, kissing him gently. “What do I have to do to get you out of that kefta so I can kiss away all those battle scars?”

#darklina #alina x darkling #general kirigan #kirigan x alina #alina x kirigan #aleksander x alina #alina x aleksander #aleksander morovoza

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